#The History part is why this took 2 weeks...
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Time Traveller AU pt 4
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. AU masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more.
Two weeks had passed since you and Baldwin had met Salauddin. As much as you tried to stay in your room to try and work on your time machine a bit, Sibylla was far too excited with the wedding preparations and was dragging you along. Even the maids were too eager to do everything, be it dressing you up or accompanying you around the castle. You suppose it was their way of trying to get in your good graces so that you'll choose them to be your court ladies. Its all politics really. The few moments that you did try to have for yourself, they'd be with Baldwin. You cant ever have meals without him, even if you were sneaky. You theorised that Baldwin probably had someone in the kitchen to inform him the moment you're having a meal made so that he can join you too (and proceed to handfeed you the first and last bite from his plate).
You decide its finally time to bring up the agenda you had in mind. "Baldwin?" You call softly, earning a surprised look from him because he's used to your admonishing tone. "Yes, princess?" he quickly closes his book, giving you his full attention.
"Do you think... it could be arranged for me to travel?" He raised a brow. "Travel? Where?"
You mustered up the courage. "Egypt."
"Egypt? Why?" Of course he was alarmed because at the time Egypt was under Muslim rule, and Salauddin was the sultan of Egypt. It was his territory and it was far too.
"Why not? I thought you said you would show me the world." You reminded him of his promise when he was trying to bribe you into marrying him.
He sighed and nodded. "That can be arranged. Come on, now." He took your hand and pulled you towards him as he moved towards the corner of his room, keeping you facing him. "I always keep my promises, princess." He whispered kissing your chin before turning you around to face the mirror.
"See? Now you've seen the world. In fact-" He spins you back to him before turning you towards the mirror again. "-ooh! Now you've seen the world twice!" He keeps on spinning you back and forth a couple of more times making you laugh before you get dizzy and lightly smack his arm.
"Be serious for once, Baldwin!" You glare at him. "Dont you get tired from your flirting attempts?"
His eyes twinkled as he cupped your face with his hands. "Never!"
With your face still in his hands, you repeated your request. "I want to go to Egypt, Baldwin." "But why? Do you want something from there? Because I can have it brought here-"
"No." You cant believe you have to manipulate him. Eh, he'll get over it. "I... I dont have a family, Baldwin. I was an orphan and well- things werent great at my orphanage, so I ran away. I wanted to find out about my family, about my parents. What happened to them. So I've been travelling here and there. I suppose thats how I developed an interest in history." You could seem his resolve melting with the way his eyes softened, so you continued on. "Please, let me go to Egypt. I think... I think I might find some clues about my family there. And if I dont..." you chuckled. "Well, I could always write something on Salauddin."
"Do you really want to go?" You nodded eagerly. He smiled. "Alright. I'll talk to Salauddin. If he gives permission, then you can go. I dont think I could accompany you there. Guy has been stirring up some problems here and I cant have him try to start a rebellion."
"Its okay, I can go alone." "Well, not alone. I'll send my best knights along." Shit. Oh well. Better them than Baldwin.
Breaking the pattern for once, you decided to initiate affection and gave him a hug. "Thank you, Baldwin!" You heard him inhale sharply, his body stilling for a moment before his arms slowly but surely wrapped around your frame, and you felt him melt into you a bit. This is psychology 101, okay? Pavlov's dog experiment, if you reward him for "good behaviour", he is more prone to be "good".
If only you knew this may have been the first time in more than a decade that he's been hugged. And now that he has... it only cements more in his mind that your hugs are his- you are his.
-
As expected, Salauddin agreed and allowed you to come to Egypt. However, Baldwin still delayed your trip by almost a week under the pretence to make "necessary arrangements for your trip".
It was just him trying to find excuses to make you stay longer, or even change your mind about leaving at all.
"You know it's going to be soooo hot in Egypt? What if you get a heat stroke?"
"I'm going with Salauddin. He's been living in the desert for so long, I'm sure he'll teach me how to protect myself from the sun."
"You- what if you get thirsty? You won't get cold water!"
You looked at him baffled. "Salauddin literally had a box of ice in the desert- he served us ice water. Did you forget? I'm beginning to think you might be suffering from a heat stroke."
He huffed. "Surely, you cant be safe in Egypt without me by your side. People will attack you for being my weakness!"
Your heart skipped a beat. I'm his weakness?
You shake your head. Not the time. "How would they even recognise me? I'd be in a niqaab! Besides, I thought you were sending your "best knights" with me." You said turning around to fold your clothes.
Baldwin's hand reached for your wrist and he pulled you back to him, your body stiffening against his hard chest. Damn, how long did he work out for? Just a few weeks ago, he couldnt even stand for long without passing out.
He rested his chin on your shoulder. "I'll miss you." He mumbled, and the corner of your mouth quirked up. "I know." You replied as you tried to break out of his arms and return to your packing. But Baldwin spun you around, his brows furrowed. "You wont miss me?" His eyes held deep concern, while his voice reminded you of a scared child.
He's adorable.
His grip on your arms tightened the longer you stayed silent. Fearing he'd change his mind about the trip, you cupped his face and brought it closer to yours, staring into his eyes.
"No." Hurt flashed through across those blue pools, but you continued. "Because the mere thought that you would be waiting here for me will make me want to return home early." His face softened.
"Home? You consider this your home?" He whispered, clearly affected by your words.
Oh, he's about to die when he hears what you've got next.
Your eyes smiled. "You're my home, Baldwin." You knew if this was an anime, then right now Baldwin would be animated with a pink background with halo behind him, and probably cupids shooting arrows and crying.
His reaction proved you right. Baldwin pulled you in for a tight hug, hiding his head into your shoulder and before you either of you could react, you both fell on your bed, though Baldwin didnt let go of you.
When he finally pulled away, he caressed your cheek with one hand. "What?" you asked with a lazy smile. He didnt say anything, just kept tracing your face with his fingers, looking at you as if he was in a trance. Considering you were leaving tomorrow, you didnt move from the bed. You didnt want to break whatever fantasy Baldwin was in (truthfully, you didnt have the heart for it. He looked like something was healing inside him.) So you stayed there next to him, letting Baldwin run his fingers though your hair and falling asleep to that.
"How did I get so lucky?" He whispered to himself, still looking at you in awe.
Baldwin didnt sleep that night. No, he wanted to memorise your face.
-
The next morning, you were sent off with a small entourage, even though Baldwin wanted to send you with a bigger one, but you reasoned with him that a large group of people would only draw more attention to you.
"Be safe, princess." Baldwin said, pressing his lips to your forehead. You smiled and nodded. "I'll be back before you know it." He gave you a lopsided smile before pulling out a pouch and placing it in your hands. It was heavy. "I have given the knight commander gold to cater to your every need, buy anything you like but- I still want you to have this. Just in case." You peeked into the pouch and your eyes bulged out at the gold coins in there. "Its too much, Baldwin. I cant take-" He cupped your cheek. "I insist. If- God forbid, things go wrong, I want you to use this to get out." You leaned into his touch. "Nothing will happen to me, Baldwin." He prays so (he and his church is praying for your safe journey). "I know, but please- keep it. For my peace of mind." You finally conceded, giving him a hug before starting your journey.
From Jerusalem, you first reached Salauddin's caravan in the desert, where the Kurdish leader was waiting for you.
"So, have you come up with a plan to leave Baldwin?" He asked, guiding you inside his tent, taking note of the niqaab you were wearing. It was the one Baldwin had helped embroirdered for you- he recognised the ugly flower on your sleeve.
"Its not a priority at the moment." You lied, deciding it wouldnt be good to reveal all your cards to him. After all, he is a conquerer. You dont know what kind of games he may be playing.
He raised a brow at you, setting up the chess board. "Then why are you going to Egypt?" He wanted to gauge your expressions, but your eyes were solely focused on the chess board as you made the first move.
"I have some matters to take care of. Personal matters." You watched him move his black pawn.
"Anything I could help with?" He asked. You took his bishop. "No, you have already helped a lot. Thank you. But I must ask- how did you just agree to Baldwin when he asked if I could go to Egypt?"
He scoffed, taking your knight. "You think I did this for free? Please, your husband had to pay a pretty penny to take his "little heaven's angel" through the desert safely. Honestly, how have you bewitched him?" Salauddin gazed at you. "Either he's too stupid or you're much smarter than you look, the latter is something I highly doubt, so it only leads to one conclusion- Baldwin is stupid." He mocked.
"Hey! Dont insult my fiance." You admonished, looking back at the board to make your next move. He leaned forward with his elbows on the table, looking at you expectantly. "Or else what?"
Your eyes finally made contact with his, and he could feel he had insulted you somehow. "Or else... you'll regret it." You threatened, which he didnt take seriously, because- why would he? You're nobody.
His eyes lit up. "If you were any less threatening, Y/n, you'd be a dandelion." You rolled your eyes, clearly not amused. "Say whatever you want, but you and I both know you didnt do it for the money."
"What do you mean?"
"Mmhm, I dont know. Dont you have enough money already? I think- oh, you made a mistake there." you smirked taking his queen and now his king was left wide open for attack. "I think... you were scared to say no."
"Excuse me?" He moved his king. You chased him with your knight.
"You heard me." Your rook pushed his king into the corner. Frustratedly, he tries to escape by moving his king diagonally, but you were quicker with your bishop.
"Why would I be afraid of a man whose own brother-in-law is starting a rebellion against him and he's been allowing him to do so just because his sister claims to love him?" He taunted at the messed up family dynamics. Of course he knew how ready Baldwin was to give his kingdom away to Guy to be perished, but that was before he was cured of his leprosy.
You had boxed his king from all sides. No escape. "Why wouldnt you be? The same man was only just a 16 year old when he defeated you on the battlefield devastatingly. And that too, when he was so sick, his face was melting off." You knocked down his king. "Can you imagine how strong he is now that he's cured?"
His anger was subtle. Eyes glaring at you, mouth pulled into a thin line, his nostrils flared ever so slightly.
Clearly, you had struck a nerve.
"You shouldn't play with fire." He warned. You twirled his king between your fingers. "Who said I was playing?"
You both sat in silence for a few more moments, with you mostly relishing in your victory. "So, what do I get for winning again?"
His eyes narrowed, though they werent as hostile as they were a few moments ago, "You get to keep your head."
"Am I always playing for my life everytime we play chess?" "Yes." "Huh. So how does it feel to know that I will outlive you?" You teased, making him roll his eyes as he stood up, leading you out of his tent.
"My men are going to accompany you to Egypt. They're ready, so-" he looked at you with a scowl. "Leave."
"Aww, thank you, aljedu!" You waved, leaving before he could get mad at you for calling him "grandpa".
-
The journey to Egypt took a little over 4 days, but you really cant complain with the small army of people at your service. Even the men and women Salauddin had sent with you made sure to cater your every need, and more importantly, help you and your entourage survive the desert.
The pyramids were still as magnificent as in the future, though the area was now surrouded by a bustling market of sorts. As your caravan moved further into the town, you saw a large centre built that had the traditional Islamic architecure elements- huge domes, minarets, white pillars. The colourful tile works (prominents turqoise and dark blue themes) and a few gothic arches displayed the catholic influence as well.
"What's that?" You had asked one of the knights. "Thats the madarasas." You nodded as you recalled reading about it in "the golden age of Islam" era. Madarasa was essentially an educational institution that were devoted to the study of law, maths, science, medicine, religion, philosphy and other subjects. The complex itself consisted of a mosque, a library, a boarding house. They were home to both students and professors, and were maintained by charitable endowments and unlike a modern day college, it lacked a specific curriculum or institutionalise system of certification. Information was usually passed on informally from teacher to student, and both men and women were able to attend.
It was heaven for anyone who seeked to learn, and this was exactly where you would be going to get help for your time machine.
But that would have to wait, as you were now lead to Salauddin's palace for rest. It was massive and just like the madarasa, it was also beautifully constructed. The palace spread over on a large area of land, and although it was was around 80-100 feet in height with those humongous pillars at each corner, the palace was largest in horizontal dimensions. Inside, after passing a throng of soldiers stationed who kept their gaze lowered even though she and most of the females were completely veiled, you saw a huge pool that continued throughout the palace, even through sharp corners. It almost looked like the castle was built around the turquoise pool. Despite it being hot as hell outside, the palace was cool and insulated even though there were no air conditioners or fans and was open enough to be well ventilated. You had seen the palm date trees through the city, but there was a huge new variety of exotic plants inside that you dont think would be able to survive in the desert.
Egyptians were truly ahead of their time.
-
After dinner, you were sitting in your room with your maids. They were talking about the hospitality of Muslims and all, helping you unpack and get ready for bed.
"Alright, time to sleep." You said with a yawn and they all immediately began leaving. All but one maid, who had to stay by your side at all times even when you were bathing. Apparently, Baldwin had ordered her to do so because he didnt trust anyone in the foreign lands.
"You can go to your chambers with the others, Isabella." You smiled politely at the blonde girl, no older than 19. She shook her head, her brows furrowing in concern. "No, princess. It is my duty to be with you at all times. What if you need me for something?"
"I wont." You smiled tightly. The sooner she left, the sooner you could sneak out of here and go to the madarasa. "You must be tired from all the travel. Please, go rest. I insist." But it was like she couldnt imagine committing a grave sin like this.
Fine. If she's not going to leave then-
"Isabella..." you come close to her, fiddling with your thumbs. "Can I trust you, Isabella?"
She nodded obediently. "Of course, my princess."
"I need to get out of the palace for some time." You tell her slowly, letting her absorb the words. Automatically, she responds. "I can have them arrange a tour tomorrow-"
"No, Isabella-" you let out a distressed sigh, rubbing your forehead as you paused for a dramatic effect. "I need to go out right now."
"Now? At night time?" The young girl wondered what possible emergency you could possibly have. "Oh, um- well, I can have the guards prepare a-"
"No!" You turned around, reaching for her hands. Isabella's eyes widened. A princess- royalty is touching her? You tilted your head sligtly, eyes making a desperate plea.
"I have business that I need to take care of on my own. I-" you sigh dramatically before looking at her with most remorseful eyes. "I have to find my family. I need to- I cant get married without them attending. I- I- just need them and I know! I know they're here! I can feel it!" Isabella's face softened at your "distress" but you can still see her hesitance, and so before she could protest, you squeezed her hands. "I tell everyone I am an orphan but- the the truth is... I was a slave. I was stolen from my family and- and I was raised with other slaves. It wasnt until I was 8 that I had ran away. I've been running from my owners for a long time, all while trying to find my family. I dont care if they're dead but- I need to know. I need to know, Isabella. You... you understand why, right?"
Tears slipped from Isabella's eyes as she nodded her head feverently.
"Of course I do, princess!"
-
You pulled your shawl around you tighter. Temperatures really did drop significantly at night in deserts. You were now standing outside the madarasa you had seen earlier in the day after convincing Isabella to stay behind and pretend to be you under the covers in bed while you went out.
The building was much more quiet now, although the market was still alive but people were less and everyone was mindful of how much noise they made.
You quietly walked into the madarasa, pretending to be one of the several servants who were entering the place. Inside, the area was designed in the shape of a rectangle without a roof in the center. The moon light illuminated the common ground in the middle while lanterns were lit all around the 4 sides, numerous doors on each side.
Keeping your veiled head down, you walked past many scholars and students. You wanted to enter a room, but with all the doors closed, you feared you'd enter the wrong room with someone who wouldnt be as forgiving to a stranger entering this place.
But luck was on your side tonight, as your eyes finally caught sight of an ajar door, and you slipped in once you noticed no one was currently in the room. The room was far more spacious than you had anticipated and even though the equipment was far too old, you recognised it to be a sort of lab. Nearing the desk in the corner, you noticed some papers spread around with some maths done. Even though the numbers were in Arabic, you recognised it- algebra.
"What are you doing here, woman?" You look upto find a man in his late 30s with a white turban and a black beard looking at you angrily. "Who sent you here? By Allah! Leave right now or I will have you punished for trespassing and attempting to seduce a pious man you devil-"
"I'll leave but I cant go without correcting your error." You said pointing to his papers.
He blinked at you. "What error?"
You laughed tauntingly. "Im surprised you dont see it." The man's brows furrowed as he marched over to you. "There is no error! I am the finest mathematician of this decade, if not century! I study astrology, biology, physics, alchemy, philosophy and you dare tell me that I made an error?! I am Al-Abbas ibn Bashir! Who are you to correct me woman?!"
You stared at him unamused. "The square root of 8 is not equal to the square root of 4 + square root of 4." You said pointing at his paper. He squinted at you, trying to process your words before looking where you were pointing.
"Yes, it is. It is additive-"
"Not everything is additive." You sighed, pulling out a blank sheet of paper and solving the question step by step for him. "See? Square root of 8 is 2.818 while square root of 4 is 2, so since we have two square roots if 4, it'll be 2 plus 2, which adds to 4."
You sat down on his chair while he looked over your explanation, trying to find an error in your work. There were none.
Abbas looked at you, brows still furrowed. "You- fine, you are correct. I made a small error-" "Small?" You teased. "Yes, small!" He snapped back as you chuckled. He continued. "But that doesnt explain what youre doing in my office. Who are you?"
You rested your head on your palm and stared at him. "I have work for you."
"And what might that be?"
"Hmm, depends. Are your studies purely theory based or... experimental as well?"
Abbas gave you a nod. "I like to mainly focus on theories, but I like to test my theories as well, so from time to time, I do have to conduct experiments as well."
"Fantastic!" You straightened up and grabbed a paper as you began drawing a tool. "Here, I have mentioned the dimensions and I need you to engineer this for me." He took the paper from you. "What exactly is it?"
"I cannot tell you." "Why?" "Well, I'm a scientist too, and I dont want you to stealing my work." You replied as you pulled out your coin purse that Baldwin had given you. "I suppose this would be sufficient for you?" You placed 5 gold coins in front of him.
Abbas scoffed. "You think you can buy me? I dont care for money!" He stood up, turning away from you.
You raised your brow. "Name your price."
He shook his head. "I cannot be bought, woman. I am a man of science. I have far more important things to be doing with my time-"
"Like making more mistakes?" He glared at you. "One small error. Thats all it was. Besides, just because I made a small miscalculation doesnt mean youre smarter than me."
You smiled under your veil.
"Wanna test that?"
-
Abbas had decided to work for you after you had outsmarted him in every subject he presented. I mean you only had to touch the basics of what you had learned in 6th grade science class but he was- bamboozled.
After he had recovered from his shock, he had agreed to work for you on the condition that you check his work for mistakes and impart some of you teachings. He swears he wont copy any of your "works". You gave him the gold coins and told him to work under complete discretion and that you'd meet him again in 3 days time, when you're ready to return to Jerusalem.
The plan was to collect your tool from him and then give him a couple more tools to design which you would collect 2 weeks later when you visited Egypt again. Because while you do need to work on your time machine, you also need to find ways for Baldwin to go to war with Salauddin again, because originally Baldwin dies of leprosy, but since you already cured that... you need to find a way for Baldwin to die and so far, a war seems to be the only answer.
But youve seen their relationship... Baldwin and Salauddin wouldn't simply jeopardise everything like that. They have a good bond, a strong friendship even.
However, if highschool has taught you anything, even the closest friendships end because of misunderstandings.
And so, a week later, you were back in Jerusalem with your new tool and a new plan in mind.
You walked up the stairs and towards Baldwin's office. Since you had arrived earlier than he was expecting, you wanted to surprise him. Honestly, you missed him and his adorable expressions-
You stopped at the foot of the door, your heart dropping at the sight.
Baldwin and a woman... kissing.
Thoughts? Also send asks
#yandere baldwin#yandere king baldwin#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere boyfriend#obsessive yandere#baldwin iv#king baldwin iv#koh#yandere salauddin
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i need to purge my urges, shame shame shame pt. 2
RICK GRIMES x fem!reader
part. 1
nsfw content — please scroll if uncomfortable
summary: rick has been slowly trapping you with him, but someone comes up which ends in him having to remind you who u belong to
warnings: nsfw, p in v, fingering, noncon pretty much, manipulating, gaslighting, toxic rick, creampie, baby trapping, rough sex
i took inspo from an anon who requested baby-trapping :3
dark content below !!
You thought after a few days or weeks of being a B at the CRM would fill the void in your heart, the need to go back home and reunite with your friends and family. You could only imagine their smiles and faces, as now you had no way of contacting them. Rick was watching you like a hawk, eyes always on you even when he wasn’t in the room.
The sound of Judith’s laughter echoed in your head as you sat in your new apartment, his. He had just recently asked you to move into his commander suite, which you really couldn’t say no to, who would? The chance to be closer to your husband? You would be crazy to reject such an offer.
Every day of the last week had gone the same. You’d wake up in his arms, make love, eat breakfast, and split ways, Rick off to command and you on your way to stab walkers at the gate for hours in the heat. The thick uniforms were annoying but you were starting to get used to it.
What didn’t sit right with you was how *casual* Rick was with this whole thing. You had made the mistake of trying to reason with him a few weeks ago, which now was a reminder in your head not to anger him.
“The hell do you think you’re doin’?” He says angrily, glaring at you. He was livid, frustrated, and mostly offended. He had been so gentle and kind with you, and you go off and try and run away.
“I was trying— I was, I just got lost, Rick.” You plead quickly, your words a mess as you look up at him pleadingly. Your lips tremble as you see his fists clench and his nose flare. He was pissed off.
“You’re trying to leave me, aren’t you?” He scoffs, turning away to shake his head in disbelief. “Un-fucking-believable.” He sighs to himself. You shrivel up, tears pricking at your eyes. You didn’t want him to be angry at you, why was he angry? You loved him.
“I swear, I swear I’m not. I won’t try to leave, Rick.” You step forward and pull him into a hug, burying your face into his chest as you whimper. He lets out a dramatic groan, rolling his eyes and reluctantly wrapping his arms around you.
“You can’t keep doing this, sweetheart. You know I care about you. How am I supposed to take care of you when you’re not with me, hmm? You’re so small, someone else could just,” He initiates a pew pew sound, making you flinch and curl up further into him. He holds back a mean snicker.
“Say, why don’t you start staying with me? I’ll keep you safe. You’ll wake up in my arms every day and I can stuff that needy pussy whenever you want.” He coos lovingly into your ear, gently picking you up.
The rest was history. Shortly after, you moved in with him, and now you woke up every morning in his arms and fell asleep in them. He would manage to sneak into some of your shifts as the Commander to keep watch, but you could feel his eyes burning through your uniform, you knew you were the only reason why he was there.
But today, something felt off. You were talking with one of the friends you had made in the past month, Micheal. He was one of the B’s as well, you saw him from 8 am to 6 pm every day and during meal breaks. He was sweet, fluffy hair with a killer smile and dimples to die for.
“Did you know one of the a B’s broke into the cafeteria last night and stole a bunch of food? The commanders were all talking about it this morning, they’re pissed.” He innocently gossips. He smiles at you, turning to face you slightly as he stabs a walker right in the face.
You remember Rick slightly talking about it earlier. You give Micheal a nod, politely smiling back at him.
“I dunno who did it, but I hope they got enough for me. I’m starving.” You joke softly. He chuckles and nods, his hands at work but his eyes on you.
As the two of you continue talking happily, relieved at the small distraction from the labor you were forced to do, you feel a pair of eyes burn onto your back. Your heart skipped a beat as you quickly knew who it was. You could recognize that grumpy aura from anywhere.
Peering behind you, you made quick eye contact with a tall commander. Even with the mask on, you knew it was him, you could tell. He was staring right at you, arms crossed and body language annoyed.
You shrink slightly and glanced back at Micheal, taking a small step back. You cough to yourself.
“Sorry, I’ve been kinda sick recently so.. We should keep some space, don’t wanna get you sick, do I?” You laugh softly.
He blinks in surprise before nodding quickly, a small blush coming over his cheek as he realizes his close he was to you. It was cute how giddy he was when it came to you, it was obvious the boy had a crush.
“Of course! What do you have? A cold? Fever? Do you want me to bring something over later? I have some medicine at my place.”
It was as if Rick had heard those words because next thing you know you’re getting shoved back into a hard chest.
“Consignee, you’re being called.” A rough voice says. You look up behind you to see the tall commander you already knew who was gazing down at you coldly. He diverts his attention to Micheal, and his gaze goes angry. You can see the dents between his brows that he has when he gets angry.
“Yes, commander.” You salute, glancing at Micheal and giving him a weak smile before walking off.
Rick stands there for a moment, glaring at Micheal, before following you.
Once you’re inside the building and in a private hall, he doesn’t waste a second and shoves you against a wall, his mask already off and his face all up in yours.
“Who the hell do you think you are? Flirting with others in front of my face like I’m some fuckin’ idiot.” He snapped. His rough hands go to hold your shoulders flush to the wall, his eyes narrowed with a glint of menace in them. He was angry, pissed off, and confused.
Why would you go and flirt with someone else when you have him? He was the perfect husband— talk, handsome, sweet personality, and amazing bed skills, something he was sure Micheal didn’t have. Stupid Micheal probably didn’t even know how to be a real man. Rick was a real man.
“What are you talking about?” You gasp. “I wasn’t flirting with him— what?! Me and him are just friends!” You counter immediately, getting defensive and offended.
“Like hell you are,” He scoffs, pushing you closer. His eyes gaze down at you coldly, narrowed and furious. He stares at you before pressing his nose against you, his hot breath on your face. You shiver and try to lean back but the wall has you trapped.
“You’re lucky I didn’t kill him right there, would have painted the gates with his blood. Would you of liked that?” He sneers. You go still momentarily, thinking over his harsh threat, your heartbeat racing.
“No, no Rick. You don’t need to do all that— I won’t talk to him.” You say quickly, reaching to gently cup his face with your shaky palms. You gulp nervously and attempt to soothe him, rubbing gently and pressing a little peck to his lips. He growls against your lips, pulling you back in when you attempt to part. He doesn’t want to be away from you right now, he wants all of you and your loyalty entirely.
It had been a few days since then. Everything was supposedly fine, you guessed. Rick was still watching you like a hawk. You could feel the glare on your back whenever Micheal goes anywhere near you, so you make sure to come up with excuses to leave the young man alone for the sake of his safety.
You didn’t want anything to happen to him. You knew Rick. You used to, that is. You had no idea why he had changed so much, but you couldn’t just leave him. No— You loved him. You wouldn’t leave. Maybe you could help him go back to his old self, maybe he was just damaged.
Yeah. That’s it. He needs you. You have to help him. Aid him in returning to his old self so you can have *your* Rick back.
You were out by the lake when you heard leaves crunching next to you. You turned to face the disturbance, your heart skipping a beat when you thought it was Rick— but the sight of the blonde boy had you relaxing for some reason.
“Micheal.” You greet with a polite smile, shuffling on the bench to make room for him. He smiles back at you and sits down, a few inches between your thighs.
“You alright? I’ve uh, noticed you’ve been a little distant recently.” He frowned, leaning back on the bench and gazing at the beautiful lake in front of the two of you. It was fall, the leaves were falling and the sidewalk was covered in a variety of red, orange, and yellow.
Your smile twitched as you picked at your hair.
“It’s nothing, just haven’t been feeling well. I think I caught a cold.” You chuckle softly, facing him slightly. You put your arm on the back of the bench, leaning on your palm. You gazed at him closely.
Knowing Rick wasn’t here, you felt oddly comfortable. You weren’t scared of accidentally angering him by being friendly with Micheal like you could breathe clearly for once.
He gives you a concerned look, brows furrowing innocently.
“Oh, that’s not good. How do you feel today?”
A small sigh left you as you squirmed in your position, not sure what to say. Pressing your lips together for a moment, you pondered.
“…Peachy.”
A small giggle left the both of you as you sat and conversed freely, no commanders breathing down your neck or glaring daggers.
You should have known that the peace never lasted long when it came to being married to a ticking time bomb. The second you entered your apartment, the air was tense and you could tell by the way Rick was looking at you that you did something wrong.
“What’s wrong?” You said immediately, rushing forward to him. You gently place your hands on his forearms, frowning up at him innocently. What did you do? Why is he angry?
He grunts lowly and grabs you by your shoulders, pushing you back until your back is against the wall. You failed to speak as your throat went dry, your heart stopping for a good second.
“Rick—“ Your voice cracked, a yelp leaving you as his fist landed on the wall just inches from your face.
“Shut the hell up, you ungrateful little,” He inhales deeply before he says something he knows he’ll regret. One hand next to you clenched in a fist, the other rubbing his jaw in a stressed manner, he finally looks down at you with a harsh glare.
“Do you even love me?” He chokes out, blinking. His voice was scratchy, the southern accent from years ago a subtle hint now.
You blink in surprise, lips parting as you stand there confused and fearful.
“W-What? Of course, I do! You're my husband, I searched for you for years,” You were once again interrupted by him as he raised his voice at you, making you flinch and cower in his presence.
“The hell were you doin’ with Micheal, huh?! That skimpy little boy— Out there by the lake, talking like you’re two little love birds, who the hell do you think you are?!” He snaps.
His hands come up to your face aggressively, making you flinch as you think he’s gonna hit you. He instead cups your cheeks and leans down so he’s breathing down your cheeks.
“You thought I was gon’ hit you? Is that how low you think of me? What the hell?” His raised voice has you practically trembling in fear, legs wobbly and bottom lip quivering pathetically.
“N-No Rick, you know I don’t think of you like that. You’re scaring me, please.” You whimpered out, attempting to squirm out of his hold. He tightens his grasp on you, pressing his body against yours.
“You shut that pretty mouth of yours, baby, before I do something you really won’t like. I’ll give you a reason to cry, got that? Huh?” He shakes you, making your eyes burn with humiliation and tears.
“Y-Yes.” You nod, your hands shakily reaching for him as you weakly attempt to push his hands off your face. In response, he slightly slaps your cheek as a warning, a pressurized pat.
You blink hard, trying to hold back the tears. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
He stares you down, thinking silently in his head. He was quiet, and his silence was more threatening than his words for some reason. He was unrecognizable when it came to reading him. He used to be easy to calm down, but not anymore.
“Y’know, I never got to see you with a baby bump. Saw you raise Carl with me, but never saw you pregnant. Never.” He mumbles. His eyes narrow as he looks you up and down. His words send goosebumps down your spine, the dark reasoning behind them known to you. You attempt to push him off more firmly now, sniffling.
“Don’t do this,” You choke out. He ignores your pleas and grabs you, manhandling you into his bed and pressing you down. His body was big and muscular, he had grown a lot. Small pleas leave your throat as you squirm and thrash, but it’s all useless to him.
“Shhhh, I’m not gonna hurt ya’, is it so bad I wanna see my wife pregnant? You’d look so cute, belly full of my babies.” He whispers, smiling down at your form. He pushes his hands under your shirt and pulls it up over your head. It gets stuck on your head because of your thrashing, making him roll his eyes in annoyance.
He slaps your thigh once he has the shirt off you, scowling down at you.
“Behave, or I swear to god.” He hisses. He watches as you start to let tears stream down your cheeks, and he holds back the smile as he reaches down and gently kisses them away.
“Don’t cry baby, you’re gonna be the prettiest mama I know.” He mumbles as he starts to kiss up your belly, pampering you with affection that only makes you feel worse. Every kiss has you sniffling and hiccuping under him, your body trembling.
“Can’t run from me when you’re pregnant with my child, right?” He chuckles darkly, large hands cupping your belly. He squeezes it gently and smiles at your reaction.
He pulls you in for a kiss, hands tugging down your pants and panties, not wasting any time. He was impatient, he’d admit it. He didn’t want another second to go where you weren’t stuffed full of his seed.
Spreading your thighs was hard with the way you were squeezing them shut. He rolls his eyes at your fight but easily holds them apart, the other hand going down to your pussy.
He clicks his tongue as he feels how barely wet you are. “Whatever, it’ll do.” With that, he shoves his fingers into your mouth. He glares at you, waiting for your saliva to coat his fingers before he pulls out and shoves them knuckle-deep into your cunt.
“A-Augh!” You gasp at the sudden burn in your lower region, your body tensing and eyes fluttering. Even with your salvia around the fingers currently thrusting deeper into you, it still hurt like a bitch to be stretched open so suddenly. Rick’s fingers were thick.
“Shhh, take it, c'mon.” He mutters, eyes narrowed as his fingers keep sliding in and out roughly, not giving you a chance to breathe as he makes scissoring motions.
Your moans are forced out of your throat. Even with how hard you were trying to hold them back, Rick knew exactly how to make you feel good, knew which spots make your toes curl and which ones made you cum the hardest.
He ignores your shaky cries and how you begged him to stop, his fingers only going harder. You curl up at the feeling, gasping. You were already feeling close to cumming to your embarrassment.
“So close already?” He snickers meanly, pulling out swiftly and rushing to unbuckle his belt and pull down his jeans. He was in a hurry, a hurry to get balls-deep in you and fuck you until you’re leaking cum. “Poor baby.” He tsk’s at your whimper.
“No, don’t— Rick,” You beg desperately as he pulls out his hard cock and positions himself on top of you, tip against your opening and his hands holding you down. You feel more tears coming as your legs are forced open and your thighs are pressed against your chest, knees almost touching your chin.
You sob under him as he slowly thrusts inside, his eyes rolling back at the feeling of your tight pussy squeezing him. Even with how he stretched you open, it still felt like he was ripping you open whenever he slid himself into you.
He presses his chest down onto your thighs, legs over his shoulders, and his hands grab yours to hold them above your head. Your eyes roll back at the feeling, trembling in a mix of fear, pain, and arousal. You didn’t k is what to do.
“Please—“
“Shut up, shhh.” He starts to thrust, and you immediately start to moan at how deep his cock hit inside you. Gasping for air as you choked on your tears, his grunt grew louder as he picked up a smooth pace.
“Gonna stuff this pussy full of my babies, you’re gonna be so pretty pregnant, baby, don’t cry, don’t cry.” He soothes you, thrusting harder into your wailing hole.
Even with how good it felt to have him thrust into your body, his body pressing against yours with his lips pressing gentle kisses all over you, you couldn’t focus on any of it. All you could think of was how much he had changed. The Rick you knew would never do this to you.
Your body was being pleasured, but your heart was being stabbed over and over again, aching and throbbing painfully. You just wanted this all to stop and for him to hold you close and comfort you. Was that too much to ask for?
He groans and reaches down to get as close to you as possible, saying, "Fuck, fuck." He intended for you to feel every single inch of him, the depth of him being there in your tiny little pussy, and every feeling he gave you.
“Ya’ feel that? Yeah? Can you feel how deep I am in that pussy of yours? I can feel you gripping me, my love; must feel so good, doesn't it?” Your cries are muffled as he successfully presses his cock further, his fat head grazing your tender region and making you clench up.
“Gonna cum inside you and force you to take every drop, knock you up, and then you can’t leave me. You’re not going anywhere, all mine sweetheart.” He rambles into your ear as his thrusts continue, your eyes rolling back at the force and pace. You sobbed under him for mercy but he didn’t listen, instead tightening his grip on your wrists.
“Fuckkkk, feels so good,— Take every bit of it, kay? Gon’ make you cry so much harder if you don’t,” He groans. He buries himself as deep inside you as he can, hugging you tightly to his chest as he releases his thick load in your walls. It takes him a moment to part from you, sweating and panting. You had him whimpering on top of you, still holding you down. He starts to sloppily thrust again, making you flinch at the feeling.
“No, please stop! I can’t take anymore, please!” You plea, whining shakily as he rams into your sensitive hole over and over again. You already had his cum dripping out of you, the squelching sounds making you blush in embarrassment as he kept going. He invokes your words and continues his torturous pace.
“We’re gonna be here for a while, sweetheart.” He chuckles darkly. With a raspy groan, he grasps your waist, letting your wrists go finally and holding your waist as leverage to batter your insides easier.
“If you think I’m goin’ to sleep tonight without a shit load of cum inside you, then you’re stupider than I thought.”
Yeah, you were definitely getting pregnant after this.
#rick grimes#rick grimes x reader#rick grimes x reader smut#rick grimes smut#the walking dead#the walking dead x reader#the walking dead x reader smut#the walking dead smut#twd#towl#twd towl#the ones who live#twd the ones who live#Spotify
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Went into this with nothing, came out with Japanese History. Welcome to Episode 10 of (Waku) Puyo Extras: Educational Edition.
(Yeah Lagnus is in the Waku Puyo Manga. There's 3 versions of him due to him basically having DID, and he actually gets solid development. A win for all 10 of us Lagnus fans.)
Hello everyone, it's that teenage boy who spends his time looking into wacky Japanese games again, and welcome to Episode 10 of this series. Finally hit double digits for these episodes, I can finally say it can be it's own series.
With enough research finally under my belt, (whilst also reading Case Closed on my spare time, good manga,) I can finally discuss Arle's Travel Log/Arle Man'Yuki, a game I had zero idea what it was about, but came out with...mostly basic Japanese history, so this is the educational episode of this franchise.
So, what's gonna happen after this? I'm glad you asked. Y'see, on Halloween, it's Her birthday. Yeah, Her. May as well plan a special episode for that, since She's one of my personal favorite characters. It'll be like 80% of just me shitposting, so heads up.
Anywho, with that, hope you enjoy.
So, What're The Origins?
Let me make this clear: What I cover this time around is NOT the entire game. That'll take way, WAY too long, so I'm only covering the pieces I do know. Some parts may also be wrong, as I'm not an expert on Japanese History. I hope you understand.
Well, there's a lot to cover here. Arle's Travel Log was released for Windows '95 in Volume 13 of Disc Station Magazines, back in 1996.
(The artstyle given in the game.)
The game itself is text-adventure game, and oh boy, you'll be reading a LOT of text for this game. There's light gameplay elements, such as clicking specific characters for a game or a battle sequence, but they're padded out from a lot of text.
Now, what's interesting about this game is two major things. First off, the game takes actual elements from old Japanese culture and adds it into their game, but they add Puyo characters/New characters/Jump Hero characters as the historical figures instead. We'll cover the history part in a bit. As well, Arle jumps through time period after time period, ranging from the 1100s to the 1860s.
And the second thing to mention: They have Jump Hero characters in this. You rarely saw them during Compile's runtime, but they made some appearances here and there.
-----
Wait, What's Jump Hero?
I should mention this actually. Jump Hero was another series released by Compile themselves, a series of games with mixed variety in them due to spinoffs (or as they're called, Gaiden Games,) such as platformers, point-and-click adventure games, adventure games, etc. It starred Billy de Babine, the Jump Hero himself.
(Disc Station Vol. 23. Guess Arle's a Yugioh player now, or are those candy? Curiously, Billy also seems to be drawn in the Puyo~N artstyle.)
There's a ton of characters to cover that I won't be...well, covering, such as Billy Burn (or Barry de Babine), Prince Ivan the Penguin, and Margarita Linda, but for those curious, here's the link to the basics of some Jump Hero characters.
Now frankly, Jump Hero can get its own episode, but for now, this is the basics, and what you mostly need to know.
-----
And For Those Wondering What Time Periods:
Well...it's the Heian and Edo/Bakamatsu period.
The Heian Period (Heian is current day Kyoto,) was a period from 784 AD to about 1185, most notably known not only for its virtually 400 years of peace, but also the boom it had on Japanese art and poetry. It was the Golden Age for historical Japan, as due to them making their own vast differences from Chinese art, but also their literature, caused a new and unique Japanese culture.
As well, during this time, politically, Japan was an isolationist country, basically leaving itself from most worldwide talk.
The Bakamatsu Period was much shorter one, from only 1853 to 1867, based off the end of the Edo Period (1603-1867.) The Edo Period was considered the last period of peace for traditional Japan, before they went into an imperial rule, up until their defeat/surrender in WW2 in 1945. The Edo Period was a peaceful one, though for 200 years instead of 400, known best for the economic growth of the Shogunate.
Back to the Bakamatsu Period, it was the final years of traditional Japan, though they're best known for the Shinsengumi Swordsmen, a group of elite swordsmen founded from 1863 to 1869, formerly low ranked Samurais and Farmers, founded to protect the Shogunate due to a massive divide in Japanese politics.
Unfortunately, history was not on their side, and were disbanded in 1869, as well as the end of traditional Japan. You may also know the Shinsengumi from Gintama.
Yeah. There's a lot to cover.
My history may be off so take these with a grain of salt.
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What's The Story, Gren?
Ah, the story itself.
It begins with Arle...encountering Satan once again, who's looking to grab Carbuncle. Unfortunately, Arle isn't having any of that and so they duel. However, due to this duel, they get blasted back in time. I'm talking the 1100s back in time.
The Heian Period levels of back in time.
(WATCH OUT ARLE YOU'RE GETTING MARIO AND LUIGI: PARTNERS IN TIME'D)
And now, Arle wakes up in the 1100's. Ain't that fun?
Unsure of where to go, she just sorta wanders around, checking her surroundings and runs into Mamomo, (remember him? Me neither.) and runs into...The Old Man From Third Street from Jump Hero, in the role of an historical Onimyoji, Abe no Seimei. There's even a shrine of him in actual Japan.
And hey, there's Ivan, in the role of Fujiwara no Muchinaga, the most influential person in Japanese courts back in the 10th/11th century, as well as holding the oldest autographic diary for a historically important person.
(Best image I can find...whoops.)
Throughout Arle's journey, she'll not only run into characters from Jump Hero, such as Billy de Babine posing as general Minamoto no Yoshitsune, but also Puyo/Madou characters themselves, posing as either historical figures themselves or just random people, such as Kikimora, Draco and Witch.
Kikimora is in a later year, I believe 1863, while Witch and Draco's in about year 1000. That's why Arle's clothes change. They both look pretty though.
Fun fact about Witch though: She does have a small game where you have to click her, but she must've mastered the damn Body Flicker from Naruto since she goes ALL OVER THE PLACE.
Now why did I say "historical figures" for some?
Well, let's take Rulue for example, playing the role of Tomoe Gozen, and my GOD was Tomoe a badass. A female Samurai, in the 1180s, there was a war going on in the late Heian Period, the Gunpei War, and in that, she was a leader, and went into battle alongside other Samurai. She's most notable not only for that, she's known to at least taken the head of one enemy (Hinda No Moroshige,) and presented it to her leader. Absolutely fucking insane.
Best part is...she was also a devoted wife. Ironic for Rulue but still.
(I had to put SO much respect on her name.)
Oh, and Schezo's here too, since Rulue got the role of a badass Samurai, what did Schezo get?
OUR BOY SCHEZO IS APPARENTLY THE VICE COMMANDER OF THE SHINSENGUMI, HIJIKATA TOSHIZO.
(Vice Commander ain't bad at all. Good on you Schezo. Apparently here, he really cares for his subordinates.)
Toshizo himself had an interesting history. He began off the youngest of 10 siblings, and was raised by his 2nd older brother and his sister-in-law. Spoiled as all hell, he was handsome, but rude to all who wasn't family or friends, until he saw a swordsman from another clan commit Seppeku. He went to that man's funeral and cried.
He spent most of his youth self teaching himself swordplay, and even became friends with the future leader of the Shinsengumi, Kondo Isami. When the Shinsengumi were formed, it was him, Kondo, and two other men, however those two men were kinda assholes, and Toshizo found enough evidence to make one of them commit Seppeku, and assassinated the other. Yep. He did that.
After that, he and Kondo became the leaders of the Shinsengumi, where Toshizo was very strict on the rules, and even got the nickname of "The Demon Vice Commander," and fought in many battles in the Boshin War.
After Kondo was executed by enemy forces in April of 1868, Toshizo died in battle after giving his final farewell to his servant, as well as his katana, a death poem, as well as bits of hair and a photo of himself, in June of 1869. He knew he'd die in battle, but he'd rather die with his government than live with the shame. A week after his death, the war ended...
And that dude is Schezo now. Lmao.
Oh, and who's Kondo? The leader of the Shinsengumi?
Camus. I'm not kidding.
Schezo and Camus are a team. That sounds sick.
Oh, and not shown but characters who also make an appearance (because THE DANG 10 IMAGE LIMIT...):
Minotauros
Zombie
Incubus[?]
Panotty
Serilly
Draco
Nasu Grave
Suketoudara
Skeleton-T
After all this stuff occurs, the final boss of this game is...Owlbear. I mean, could be worse.
-----
After That...Lesson, How's the OST?
As the guy who listened to it...it's okay. Which isn't great for Madou standards. There's nothing honestly too standout, but you're not gonna mute the game from the songs themselves. Definition of passable.
It's honestly quite a tad disappointing that it doesn't have a banger OST, but we can make do with what we got.
-----
And Overall?
If you're willing to check out this game for its Japanese history and some of the wackiness of both Madou AND Jump Hero...I'd say check it out. The characters being played are fairly interesting, and the lore behind the actual people themselves are so...interesting.
And with that...hope you enjoyed this lesson. It was fun researching the game.
#madou monogatari#schezo puyo puyo#japanese translation#puyo puyo#sega#arle nadja#rulue puyo puyo#witch puyo puyo#japanese history#puyo#disc station#puyoposting#The History part is why this took 2 weeks...#schezo wegey
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SNOOZE — oscar piastri
summary. in which, everyone finally meets oscar’s new girlfriend—who happens to be a ballerina—but the history takes on a whole new meaning. (part five)
genre. smau
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user miss girl literally went through betrayal, disappeared of social medias for multiple weeks, returned w 3 pics AND paparazzis’ pics of her and oscar at the entrance of a club (after we all thought they were done), posted suspicious stories AND FINALLY SHE TELLS US THAT SHES AWAY IN GOD-KNOWS-COUNTRY AND W SOMEONE WE DONT KNOW THE IDENTITY
user (hoping it’s oscar)
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yourusername posted new stories !
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NOT THE SOFT LAUNCH LMAO
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fuck you 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
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MISS GIRL WTF
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Hope everything is going well ?
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dw croissant everything is perfectly alright
i quite missed him
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Oh don’t worry he missed you too
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fr this is the man i wished to marry soooo it would’ve quite ruined my plan
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what man 🤔
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Stay where you are baby
I’m joining you
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if you pass by the bar can you bring me mango juice pls 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
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Already on it
you liked this message
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i missed you too my love
and i thank myself for hearing you out too lmao
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© eatingaburrito
#f1 x reader#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#f1 smau#f1 fluff#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#fluff#smau#lando norris#daniel ricciardo#alex albon#charles leclerc
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Cheering Her Up
f!/nb! reader x regina george (you love to make Regina feel better)
She calls you "duck" (ITS FUNNY/CUTE I PROMISE)
closeted bi Regina, and openly enby/lesbian reader
reader binds their chest with transtape/kt tape
secret relationship
cheering her up
Regina is taller than you
CONTENT: SO SO SO SORRY I KNOW IM WEIRD
Word Count: 1853
(Originally supposed to be a one shot)
kind of alludes to sex but not explicitly
Regina lets you write your own diss in her Burn Book, so Gretchen and Karen don't get suspicious as to why you're not in it. (a bit of transphobia and homophobia, t-slur/d-slur)
Past bullying and some self-deprication
Reader is a weirdo but Regina likes it
Reader likes classic rock and old hits, Regina pretends to despise it
She lashes out at you but its all good in the end :)
Reader likes to sing
Part 2 of Cheering Her Up (A Party)
a/n: this is a huge self-insert for me, I was really vibing to Bob Seger earlier (btw this is the second thing ive written in like 5 years spare me)
ALSO feel free to message or comment any feedback is appreciated 🙏
——————————————————————————————
Before the sophomore year, you were sure Regina totally despised you. She openly criticized any gay person she came across. Sophomore year, you were seated next to her in math and history, and you felt like you were going to be destroyed.
But when you came over to her house for a project, she asked "You have your first kiss yet?"
It caught you off guard. "Uh, no. Why?" your voice squeaked, although you knew she was a bitch. You were attracted to her.
She got close to your face and smirked, you could feel her breath on yours. "No reason," She grabbed the back of your head and kissed you. You didn't kiss back out of shock and Regina pulled away and went red, she opened her mouth to say something to excuse her actions, but you leaned in and kissed her again. That moment opened a whole new door for both of you.
After that, you and Regina got really close. Outside of the school halls, and in the comfort of Regina's mansion, you were secretly her best friend but also her friend with benefits. She isn't out yet either, she still has too much pride to be seen with a loser, but you don't mind waiting for her.
She was slightly nicer to you than others at school. She was actually pretty kind to you behind closed doors. She cared about you even if she never said it out loud. So about a month after you started hooking up, you were at her house and she handed you her Burn Book which was open to a blank page with only your picture on it. "I don't want Karen and Gretchen to get suspicious as to why you're not in it."
You could deal with the insults and the taunts, it never bothered you that much, so you wrote something that used to bother you 'Y/N L/N is a tranny dyke'.
The thing that did get to you was in 8th grade when you confessed to a girl, and she told everyone in your PE class that you watched girls change in the locker room. Everyone shunned you after that, but you grew thick skin. In freshman year you found your place amongst the loners and the nerds. You were content with it.
"Are you sure you want that in there?" Regina asked, what you wrote about yourself was harsh.
You nodded "Regina, I'm out of the closet already. It's a secret everybody already knows" You closed the book and handed it back to Regina and she tucked it away. "If I walk like a duck, swim like a duck, and quack like a duck, I'm probably a duck" She laughed at your joke, and you corrected yourself smiling "I mean dyke"
"You're so stupid" Regina replied, but it wasn't mean or full of scorn, she just shoved your shoulder. She changed your name to "Duck" in her contacts.
A week later you found out what your contact name was, you laughed at her a little and she got defensive "I'll change it then" and you quickly stopped laughing and took her phone.
"No no, keep it, please Regina it's cute" You yanked her phone out of her hand and tried to keep it away from her. You laughed again and ran around her room holding her phone, but she cornered you, pushing your chest, then your back hit the wall. You were breathless from running and grinned, though her face was stern. "I'm sorry, Gina. Please keep it, it's fine really"
The look on her face made you lose your confidence and you backed down, and handed her phone back, "Thanks loser" She tucked it back in her pocket, and she had a smug smile. "You're lucky I'm in a forgiving mood today" and tilted your chin up and kissed your lips.
After that day, it became one of your inside jokes, and "Duck" became one of your nicknames.
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That summer she invited you over to swim at her pool for the first time. "Hey loser, hurry up" she opened the door and led you to her pool.
You brought your only swim trunks and taped your breasts back to go swimming. She was in a tight bikini and she slipped in the pool, you took your shirt off, and she was staring at your body.
You weren't sporty, but you went to the gym, it's not like you had rock-hard abs, but you were toned and Regina hadn't seen you like that in the sunlight before, you beamed as you basked in the warm sun.
"Hey Duck, get in here" she beckoned you, you seized an opportunity to make a joke.
You bent your knees and flapped your arms a little walking back and forth at the edge of the pool "Quack quack" You giggled out. Regina cracked out a smile that evolved into laughter, her laugh warmed you more than the sunlight.
When you slipped into the pool, she was still laughing at you. "You're such a dumbass"
She splashed water at you when you tried to come and hug her in the pool. "Hey!" you yelped as the water got in your face and you splashed back.
After you just relaxed in the pool, you floated on your back, eyes closed, and sun-kissed skin. You didn't notice how Regina looked at you, but you heard water swish as she walked toward your floating body. You cracked an eye open, the sun was behind her making her look ethereal. Regina's blonde hair glowed, she looked like an angel, not the bitchy Queen Bee at school.
"Hey," you tried opening your eyes but just squinted.
She leaned down and said "Hey" back in her sweet voice and kissed you gently.
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The summer pushed you closer together, of course, she had her fair share of parties she went to with the Plastics. You were there at parties too, but you both only shot each other glances. The days she hung out with the Plastics, you missed her company.
You got your license over the summer and when you got the message that she was back home, you hopped in your Mini Cooper and drove to her house and picked her up. Though she usually drove you around in her Jeep.
"Where we heading today?" you asked as she hopped in the car
She ignored your question and her attention was on your music "Earth, Wind & Fire's 'September'? Really?" she criticized your music taste.
She buckled in and you said, "What's wrong with my music taste Regina?"
"God you really are a loser" she insulted, you could tell she was in a mood today. You were a little hurt but tried not to take it personally. "7-11 can you grab me a Diet Coke?" you nodded and started driving.
You skipped to the next song and what played was Bee Gee's "More Than A Woman" You smiled and sang along to it. Hoping Regina would get the hint you were singing it to her.
"Suddenly you're in my life, A part of everything I do. You got me workin' day and night. Just tryin' to keep a hold on you..." Your fingers tapped against the steering wheel and you moved your shoulders to the beat of the song.
She just groaned and pressed her temples, you thought she really hated it but from the corner of your eye, you saw a corner of her lip lift slightly. After seeing that you sang your heart out a little more at a red light you turned to her momentarily "More than a woman. More than a woman to me" and grinned wide.
"Hey! Keep your eyes on the road!" she pushed your head to look back at the road.
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At school when Junior year started, Regina and you acted like you two were nothing, you both devised a facade as to why you interacted at all. It was a half-truth, everyone at school thought Regina paid y/n to do their math homework. But you only did that sometimes, and usually just helped her.
Today when you met at her house she was upset about something. "Regina, what's wrong?" you asked worriedly.
"Nothing, stay out of it" she snapped at you and she stomped up the stairs to her room.
You followed her "Regina come on," she turned on her heel and looked at you angrily and lashed out.
"Why are you even here? You're not dating me, stop acting like it" She yelled at you.
You paused and your heart faltered "Regina..." you said quietly. She turned back around and she slammed her bedroom door. Regina crawled in the sheets and just went to sleep. You didn't follow her in. But you walked downstairs to her kitchen and opened her fridge.
When Regina woke up she smelled some kind of pastry downstairs and light music. She opened her door and crept down the stairs, as she approached the kitchen, she heard your humming.
The next song started to play, your back was turned and you were using her mom's apron and mittens, pulling out a batch of brownies from the oven. When you sang alone, you were cheesier and poured your heart into each song, then you placed the brownies onto a cooling rack on the island counter and pretended to hold a mic.
"Still like that old-time rock and roll. That kind of music just soothes the soul" You closed your eyes and turned around still pretending to hold a microphone "I reminisce about the days of old, with that old-time rock and roll" Regina just smiled stifling laughter.
But when you started playing air guitar, at the part with no lyrics. You heard her giggle and your eyes shot open, face reddening "Regina! You're up!" she just laughed at your incredible dorkiness and walked up to you, this was the highlight of her day.
You brushed off your embarrassment from getting caught when you saw how happy it made her. And you walked closer to her and continued to mouth the song and dance around her. Still wearing her mom's frilly apron. You took her hand and spun her around and she still laughed at your silliness.
You stopped and walked back to the counter where she followed, "Brownies?" you smiled.
"Yeah, sure" She sat down at the table and you cut two pieces out.
When you handed her a plate, she looked up at you and spoke softly "Sorry about earlier..."
You smiled softly and took her hand as you sat next to her "Its okay, don't worry about it" You let go of her hand and then asked, "You feeling better now?"
"Yeah, thanks duck" She leaned towards you and kissed your lips. "You're so fucking corny" Regina pulled away.
You smirked "You secretly love it"
"I do" She responded, you almost choked on your own spit at her admission. She reveled in your panic and took a bite of the brownie you made her.
Only you could make her smile like this, and laugh like this, you knew that, and you had your silent victory.
Part 2 of Cheering Her Up (A Party)
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I have a good disability accommodation story.
I use a medium sized backpack instead of an over the shoulder bag, because chronic pain has my shoulders all jacked up and when really carrying it I need to distribute the weight. I pass as femme so it's essentially a purse (which I'll call it) that holds like my cash and cards and keys but also my epipens and inhaler and other medical essentials.
I took my 10yo to the art museum today. About 20 minutes into our visit I was told they have a bag policy and while my bag was essentially small enough i could keep it, they need it by my side so I'm not knocking it into shit via it being on my back. Some people just aren't aware of their surroundings sometimes, blanket policy. Cool i get it. They really just needed me to single shoulder it. So I did. But like another 10 minutes in despite switching between shoulders, I just couldn't. Disability just made it impossible. So back on my back it went i was just really really careful.
Of course I was approached again though by someone new. I patiently and politely explained I knew and understood the rule but disability made it so I couldn't single shoulder my bag, I really did need to distribute the weight.
And she was like, welp ok we'll just get you a sticker for your bag so security camera guy will know you're an exception to the rule I'll be right back. 2 minutes later she was back with a shiny sticker and that was that.
In a museum full of priceless art I get the bag size and how you carry it (people really do be backing into a monet with their fucking backpacks) rules. But they were happy to accommodate me without me laying out my medical history. I didn't have to explain why my shoulders are fucked up. I didn't give them the details of last weeks especially bad pinched nerve. I simply said i was disabled. I don't even think i needed to offer up the part about distributing the weight. I just offered that bit up freely so it made general sense to them. And they gave me a reasonable accommodation and stickered me so i could explore and not be stopped every 5 feet. And in return i did actually work really hard to mind my bag in relation to the art around it.
I just really appreciate when the world goes right!
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Don't make me choose
Gojo x fem!reader
Part 2
Word count: 1.4K
Summary: it's been some time since you've started dating the infamous Satoru Gojo. But lately you feel more like the two of you are just cuddle/fuck buddies and not a real couple. You make him choose his priorities which is something the strongest doesn't like.
Warnings: bad grammar (possibly), typos, angst, very little comfort
When Gojo Satoru first asked you out you couldn't be happier. The first time he caught your eye was when he zoomed past you together with Geto on one bike. You got so startled you fell to the ground and scratched your knee. You thought at first that they will just leave you there and probably laugh at you later at a pub, talking to their friends how they knocked over a clumsy girl in a park. What completely shocked you was Gojo running up to you with Geto pushing their bike behind him asking you if you were okay and if you need any help.
The rest is history.
Now, three years later, things have been going well. Mostly.
You had the ultimate boyfriend experience. Nice dates, wholesome anniversaries, moving in together, having fun. You did everything in your power to not get boring, for him to not get bored. You cooked, cleaned, asked him how his day was, acted silly with him even when you were exhausted after a long day.
So why? Why was he spending more and more of his free time away from you?
It started out small. The first time you started noticing was like a month ago. As soon as he came home he told you he's going to the pub with Geto and Nanami. You told him to have fun of course, not wanting to seem like that girlfriend that doesn't allow their boyfriends having fun without them. Then from one weekend it became every weekend. Both of you were busy during the week, the only time you had for yourself was during the night and weekend. It soon became just nights.
Even during the week it was "babe, i have a day off tomorrow i'm going to Geto's" or "sorry we have to move the date night to sometime else, Geto is sick and has no one to take care of him" and once even "babe, remember how you told me about this place you used to love as a child? I'm going there with Geto! What a coincidence, right?". The last one hurt the most. Honestly, the last one was also what made you start noticing these in the first place. Once you looked into the past and counted all the times Gojo chose to spend his free time with his best friend instead of you you nearly slapped yourself. It was too many times. How could've you been so blind?
All off days were for Geto. All special days were once again for Geto. Weekends, holidays, his and yours birthdays, all for Geto fucking Suguru.
You needed to have a talk with him.
If he comes back that is. Lately he started to have sleepovers with Geto. As if both of them were teenage girls. You did ask to join them but they always told you off to "not disturb their boy time".
Steps echo outside your apartment. The door unlocks. And in comes...
"Babe," comes the voice of your beloved white haired guy, "I'm home."
"I can hear that," came your answer. You prayed it didn't sound too agressive. Your stomach was full of nervous butterflies, making it even worse to come up with a decent way to start the talk.
While you were thinking he came from the entrance hall to the kitchen where you were sitting and kissed you on the crown of your head. "I wanted to ask, do we have plans next wendesday? Because Suguru said he'd-"
"Listen," you interrupted him before he could even finish, "can we talk?"
Gojo chuckled. "That's a very scary sentence."
"Why? Have something to hide?"
"Nope," he put his bag down and leaned his back against the wall, "I'm listening. What is it?"
You took a deep breath. Then another. "Don't you think you're spending a little too much time with Geto?"
His playful smile loosend into a neutral line. "Elaborate?"
"It's just... you've been with him so much lately and I miss being with you-"
"I'm with you all the damn time. Every single night we-"
"Can't you let me finish?!" you said a little louder than intended but enough is enough. "Is that all you see me as? A fuck-buddy to warm your bed?"
Gojo groaned in annoyance. "No, of course not. But you're literally overreacting over here!"
"Overreacting? How? By wanting my boyfriend to be home on his off days? To spend some time with me and have fun like before?"
"Have fun times with you? What am I your babysitter?"
"Are you Geto's? All the fun stuff we used to do you're doing with him!"
"No, no darling," he stood up straight and walked towards you, backing you into the corner, "all the stuff we used to do I did with him first. He's my best friend! I've known him half my life! You have to have at least a bit of empathy to understand that."
Even cornered by a giant of a guy like him you didn't feel fear. The butterflies in your stomach died. What remained was just pain in your chest predicting what was about to come.
"Do you even see me as your girlfriend anymore, Gojo?"
"Oh, so we are on last name terms again?" he asked sarcastically and walked away to pour himself a cup of water.
"Answer me."
You watched him drink. Slowly. You've never seen a man drink this slow.
"Of course I do," he put the glass down, "what kind of a bullshit question is that?"
"It's how I feel Gojo. You're never here with me!"
"I am here now aren't I?" he poked his chest with his forefinger. "I'm here every single day and night, twentyfour fucking seven ever since we moved in together! Well excuse me I want to have some quality time with my best friend from time to time!"
You didn't want this. The yelling, the arguing. But it has to be done.
Now as a finishing touch. "Who do you value more?"
"Excuse me?" was all he said, too surprised to not hear you yell in return, just calmly asking your question.
"Who is more important to you? Your best friend or your girlfriend?"
Gojo covered his face with his palms and threw his head back. "You can't be serious right now," he groaned. "Suguru is my best friend. You can't just make me choose!"
"So I'm below a best friend. I might as well be called your friend with benefits..." you say more to yourself than him.
"There you go hating yourself again," he shook his head. "I get it, you want to hear me say how much you mean to me, how you're the most important thing in the world and other stuff I've told you a million times already and yet you still slip into this state. I might as well record myself saying those things so you could listen to them everytime you're attention starved," he pinched the bridge of his nose.
He sighed. "You know what? I'm tired of this. I still care about you, but you have to understand Suguru is-"
"I know," you interrupt his rant. "I'm tired too."
Gojo sighs. "Okay. Good. I knew we could talk this out," he said and picked up his sleepover bag again. "I hate arguing with you."
He walked past you to the bathroom to dump his pyjamas into dirty laundry. "Let's go to bed, okay?" he shouted from there.
After a quick shower he walked out the bathroom with nothing but sweatpants on and a towel around his neck.
However you weren't there. Not in the bedroom, nor living room, nor anywhere else. Confused Gojo walked around the apartment, looking for any signs where you might be hiding. Maybe you want to jumpscare him again to light up the tension?
Fine, two can play this game. He tiptoed into the bedroom to your massive closet and yanked it open.
You weren't there. But neither were your things. He quickly checked under the bed to see your beloved backpack missing.
Panicked he started calling out for you, thinking this was just a prank.
It wasn't.
You made him choose and without even realizing it he did.
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Oh my god, asks are open! Hey how are you?? And what are your favourite König AUs' counterparts??
Asks are still closed, actually, I just used the opportunity to promote my Instagram. But...for my top Konig AUs, I have these ones!
1) Mafia Konig.
Oh how I love this man. I honestly don't know much about Austrian criminal life, but I just know that this man is the perfect jaded ex-soldier who came out of service, saw how the system treats its veterans, and decided to seize power for himself. He is cool, strong - his awkwardness and inability to socialize casually is almost going unnoticed as he seeks retired soldiers to make up his crime group, getting control over drug and weapons market. With his connections in all of Central Europe and slowly creeping onto the Eastern part and illegal gun and oil deals, the only thing he is lacking is a pretty girl on his lap, making him feel good. He doesn't like escorts, often leaving bad taste in his mouth - but he sees you, a pretty girl working in a cafe that he owns, in a flower shop that is just a front for his business, in some shabby tourist establishment made to get tourists on cheaply produced drugs...you're innocent, you have no idea about the dangers around you - but don't worry, he is cynical for both of you.
2) Loser!Konig
Seeing this big guy with a big title and money and even a house being a complete loser for you is...something. He is dangerous, of course, always getting borderline or straight-up obsessive, so down and for you it's horrible - but the again, he is the only guy to ever love you like this...so, why not give him a chance? Yes, he will hunt you down and out you on his basement by the end of the week because he has no idea what the hell courting is but, then again, he would also give you some interesting lecture about lego and war history.
3) Monster!Konig
Obviously, having this giant eldritch horror dude so down bad for you is exciting to write! This version of Konig is mainly a tsundere type, he is acting cold because monsters value power and he doesn't want to seem too soft with his little pet wife - but don't worry, he is soft and warm behind the closed doors, always allowing you to have something nice for yourself.
This version of him tights with oviposition, obviously. He is using your fertile, lush body to carry his eggs - so be prepared for all the exciting thing about pregnancy, but over and over again, with Konig cooing over you as he finally mates you for hours on end...
4) Dilf!Konig
This bastard uses his kid to maintain contact with you, and he is not even ashamed! It's honestly horrible( he doesn't like to talk to his kid, so he took you in as either willing or a kidnapped nanny, and then proceeded to breed another child into you just because this guy has a major breeding kink, but can't take care of children(
He will pay for everything, at least, even hiring some help to make everything a bit easier for you - but god, he starts to like his kids only when you're playing with them...
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Too Young to Die- Part 1
Masterlist
Part 1 of 3 part Mini Series
Pairing | Massage Therapist Joel Miller x F!Reader with Autoimmune disease, no outbreak, AU (I changed up his timeline a bit).
Summary | You were referred to Dr. Joel Miller, a massage specialist, to help manage your joint and muscle pain with autoimmune disease. What you didn’t know was that Joel was an insanely attractive man, and that you’d be coming undone underneath him before your first appointment was even over with.
Series Warnings | 18+, Minors DNI, Smut!
Age gap (he’s 47, she’s 29), language, Smut (with a capital S, watch out!!), daddy reference, f!(fingering), squirting, female reader has autoimmune disease, Joel is a massage therapist, slight reference of medical stuff, reader verbalizes anxiety with treatment, fluffy Joel, soft Joel, sexy Joel, terms of endearment, Joel asks her out on a date at the end.
A/N: This one is completely self-indulgent and has been sitting in my draft folder since before Christmas. I have autoimmune disease, and treatment hasn’t worked much for me in many areas, so I know some of the troubles and struggles that the reader here has. Not everyone who has autoimmune disease may experience these symptoms, concerns, or struggles. This will be only a three part mini series. Very smutty with story building throughout. Enjoy!
Word Count: 9.1K (we’re establishing a story here)
Fuck you were wrecked, seconds away from crashing through, or into, a brick wall with an orgasm, you thought. This felt different though, so much different than what you’ve ever experienced before. “Joel, fuck, pressure, it’s a lot of pressure and I’m, fuck, I’m, I’m-”
“Come f’me sweetheart. Come on baby, fucking soak my fingers.”
Joel Miller sat in his office of his massage studio, looking over the referral paperwork that Dr. Samson, an autoimmune specialist, had sent him. A female patient was being referred to him for treatment of musculoskeletal pain and tenderness.
“Patient has reoccurring musculoskeletal tremors of unknown origin that come and go. Bilateral joint swelling seen in all extremities with positive inflammation noted in laboratory test results and X-rays. Arthritis and arthralgia positive in all joints. According to the patient, anti-inflammatory and arthritis medication only works slightly for pain. Recommended gentle massage therapy to see if joint lubrication and increased joint mobility is plausible, and if pain and muscle tremors will cease. Immediate referral requested.”
When Joel glanced at the bottom of the form a week ago, he had seen that the referral had come in three weeks prior. Now today, four weeks after the initial referral, he was finally able to see you for the first time. When he had inquired with his secretary as to why it took so long before he saw you, she had said that there was a problem with your private healthcare insurance. Delaying treatment was never something that Joel Miller prided himself on. In fact, he was usually the opposite with trying to get his patients in for their first appointment within a week following their referral. Joel, having been a contractor in his previous life before becoming a massage therapist, knew the difficulties with treating joint and muscle pain. The goal was to never delay treatment as it would lead to widespread body inflammation. And once inflammation fully set into muscles and joints, it was harder for someone to find relief of their discomfort.
You were Joel’s next scheduled patient to arrive in 20 minutes. As he waited for your arrival, he went back over your X-rays, lab test results, and dictation notes from your autoimmune specialist. He had already reviewed it previously, but now he was refreshing himself on your in-depth history as he took some last minute notes of things that he wanted to ask you for this particular session. He had booked your first appointment with him to be about 2 hours, instead of the usual hour. Joel always conducted very detailed exams with his patients. He was also very knowledgeable in understanding autoimmune patients, especially knowing that each person was unique. He wanted to tailor a program that was going to help you specifically.
Joel Miller wasn’t just your average run of the mill massage therapist, he had a specialty license in massage. He specialized in patients with pain, joint stiffness and swelling, inflammation, autoimmune disease, injuries, etc. People usually only came to him by doctor referral, which usually meant two things. First, he prided himself on taking his time to get to know his patients and how he could help ease their suffering and pain. And second, he typically charged more money for his services. Most massage therapists would charge people a fee based on how long they performed their massage, Joel charged by the session. The maximum time he would give a client with his hands was 1 hour, but he’d pencil in 1.5 hours of time with them just in case they felt pain. Sometimes he’d have to stop and let patients breathe and relax for a minute before he started massaging their muscles again. Joel had a lot of training and education in the technique that was required, and many patients walked away from him stating that they felt a lot better. By glancing at your history he didn’t think that you’d be a one time only patient. He thinks that you would benefit from regular massages with him to help treat your inflammation and pain.
“Mr. Miller, your 10 AM appointment is here,” his secretary, Ashley, said.
“Thanks Ashley, I’ll be out in a minute. Please take her back to Room 5, and I’ll be along in a minute.” He replied, still studying the notes from your doctor and making notes for himself of the things that he wanted to focus on with you for your first appointment.
When you had arrived at the address for your first massage, you felt a sickly feeling in your stomach. Your doctor had reassured you that Mr. Miller would be the person to help you feel better. But just like all the other promises that your primary care provider gave you, and how none of them worked the way that you hoped, you were very skeptical at this new treatment option. Nothing helped you feel better, and you were beyond frustrated. It took you a bit to convince yourself this morning to come here, telling yourself that Dr. Miller was an expert at this, and that you should give him a try. What could hurt, you thought. Worst case scenario, it didn't do anything, which sadly was the norm for you these days.
For the last several years, your body had been poked and prodded more times than you would care to admit. Each time there was a promise of a better understanding or discovery of why this was all happening. But with each test, came more conflicting and confusing results, and you were exhausted from it all. You have been giving more blood for the sake of medical testing than what you’d think was truly normal. As ridiculous as it sounded, you felt that if Dracula was actually a real being, that he would be impressed with the amount of blood that you've donated for the sake of medical science.
With shaky hands, you got out of your car, locked it, and then entered the facility. When you entered you noticed that the space was calm. There was pale muted colors that covered the walls, colors that often helped people relax. But it did nothing for your nerves. You were shaking and not wanting to do any of this anymore. You felt like you had a huge lump in your throat, and that you couldn't fully swallow. Of all the things that you had to be afraid of in this world, you were the most afraid of medical treatment. Yet, that was the one thing that you were blessed with in having to always do. ‘Thanks body for betraying me with autoimmune,’ you thought.
As you walked up to the registration window, you found the secretary typing away on her keyboard while looking at her computer screen. You tried to settle your nerves before opening your mouth, but you felt like you were drowning in a pool of despair. Anxiety was getting the better of you again, and you felt like you wanted to run away and hide from everything. But where could you go when autoimmune always seemed to follow you, especially with the pain that came along with it.
“Um, excuse me,” you said meekly, after standing at the window for a brief moment.
The secretary continued to type away, not looking at you nor acknowledging your presence. You went to clear your voice again when she abruptly stopped and said, “what can I do for you hun?”
“I- uh, I have an appointment, with um, with Dr. Miller I think,” you said softly.
“Oh, hun it's just Mr. Miller, or Joel for short. He doesn't like being called Doctor. He always says he has a doctorate degree in massage, not in medicine. Yet they're kinda the same thing if you ask me.” The secretary said, shaking her head with a slight laugh. You stood there in silence, looking at her as she continued to ramble on. You were trying to listen to what she was saying, but all you could feel was your heart racing in your chest at the prospect of once again meeting a new person with the promise of helping you.
After listening to the woman who you thought was named Ashley ramble on for 15 minutes, as that was the name that you noticed on her name tag, you were finally sitting down in the general waiting area. You were slowly trying to calm down and relax while staring outside and watching the birds hunt for bugs in the grass. You didn't know how long you were waiting there, just staring outside, before you heard Ashley call your name again to take you back to Room 5. You didn’t know what to expect when you entered the room, but what you saw shocked you.
The room was softly lit, with soft music playing in the background, music that you liked. You also heard running waterfalls, sounds that came from the little fountains scattered all around the room. There was also a hint of cinnamon and slight vanilla aroma in the air, your favorite scents that would usually calm you. You tried racking your brain as to how, by chance, these scents and sounds were present when Ashley said, “it was on your intake survey. Your favorite classical music, scents, and sounds. Joel's very thorough, focusing on relaxation as much as muscle and joint relief.”
You stood there shocked. You thought those questions were just asked of people to try to ease the tension of how you were going to let a stranger put their hands on you. You had no idea that your answers would actually be taken seriously. Usually doctors, when they’ve asked those questions, never really did anything with the answers. Well, Dr. Miller was definitely different. It was at this moment that you were grateful that someone actually listened to you. You just hoped that he would continue with the same dedication while speaking with you, and not ignore what you said like everyone else seemed to do. You were frustrated with the medical field. You’d tell them something hurt, or something was happening and they only looked at your lab tests and X-rays and made decisions based on that, never actually listening to what you were truly telling them. You had only been in the room for maybe 5 minutes when you heard a gentle knock on the door, and the entrance of who you only could have suggested was Dr. Miller.
“Good day, I'm Dr. Miller but you can call me Joel.” He said while holding out his hand for you to shake. You shook his hand, and as you did, you felt how rough his hands were. They were calloused and strong, very sturdy hands. Not something that you'd expect to see from a massage therapist. This intrigued you, as you've always loved a man with rough hands.
After you introduced yourself, Joel walked over to the small desk in the room and sat down on the rolling stool. A typical doctor stool that you’ve seen countless times in exam rooms. He grabbed a piece of paper and then sat there for a moment writing a few notes, things that you thought were probably dealing with your medical file. After a moment he finally looked up at you and then asked with a slight Southern drawl, “How are y’feeling today?”
“I- I’m ok” you said meekly as you slowly looked over Joel. Joel was a gorgeous man, clearly in his later 40s with chocolate brown curly hair. He had a mustache and a slight beard by his jaw, one that had a slight sprinkling of gray in it. He also had glasses on his face with gentle eyes behind the glasses, ones that you could easily get lost in. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt, framing his broad shoulders perfectly. He had a slight tan on his arms, and hands that once again you couldn't wait to touch you. By looking at him, you didn’t think that massage was the only thing that Joel has done in his life. Something told you that he had spent many years doing hard work with his hands. As you continued your exploration, you then noticed that he was wearing a nice pair of black pants that hugged his hips perfectly. As you continued, you saw that Dr. Miller was definitely someone who was a decent sized man in the bedroom, seeing the soft bulge in his pants as he sat down with his legs slightly spread on the stool by the desk. You couldn’t help yourself but you stared at his package, wondering what it’d look like outside of the confines of his pants, and what it would feel like fully aroused inside of you. The longer you stared, the more you felt heat rise up the back of your neck. When you noticed the awkward moment of him looking at you, clearly having asked you a question that you didn't hear, you shook your head slightly, looking down fully at the floor while saying “sorry” out loud.
“It's ok darlin',” he said, giving you a small little smirk at the fact that he caught you checking him out. You were hoping that he didn’t see what you were checking out the longest though. You didn’t want to explain to your massage therapist that you were fantasizing about his package, and what types of moans or grunts he’d make while fucking your brains out.
Joel continued to talk to you, explaining why you were here, and how his services could help you. You were only half listening to him, embarrassed about how you had behaved previously. Joel was devilishly handsome, the type of guy that you were into. You were, however, internally scolding yourself at the importance of having proper social etiquette, and not eye fucking your massage therapist, which is what you were doing every time you looked at him.
As Joel continued to talk with you, he slowly moved around the room, grabbing different things off from the shelves. He instantly noticed your meek and shy attitude, even though he had caught you checking him out earlier. He had to admit, you were very cute, but Joel was a professional. He couldn’t allow himself the joys of thinking about you in a different sort of way. Nevermind, that if he wasn’t your massage therapist, he would definitely want to explore those other possibilities with you. What he did notice though was how you turned inward at the mentions of pain, autoimmune disease, and how your doctor said you didn’t have much abilities to do activities that your peers could do. You were 29, and he knew what the world did to 29 year olds who didn’t, or couldn’t, do the same things that their peers could. The world would ignore you. Joel, himself, remembered those days when he was 29 and worked construction when Sarah and Ellie, his daughters, were younger. All his friends went out partying after work, when he went home and raised a 10 year old and a 2 year old all on his own, Sarah and Ellie’s mom were already out of the picture. Joel was lost in his own head, remembering those earlier days, when all of a sudden he heard you speak up in an irritated tone.
“Mr. Miller, no disrespect, but I don’t think you understand what it’s like to not be able to do things that most 29 year olds can do.” You didn’t think he understood. So once again you found yourself trying to explain to a medical professional how much autoimmune has negatively impacted your life at such a young age, and how agitated you were at the fact that no one seemed to help you or listen to you. Joel, being the attentive man that he was, sat across from you on the stool and listened to every word that you had said.
Once you were finished, Joel took a deep inhale, then followed by a long exhale and then said “I am so sorry that people haven’t listened to you, or have taken you seriously about your concerns with your body. You’re right, I don’t know what it's like f’ya as I’m not you. But, I do know what it’s like to not be able to do everything a 29 year old can do. I may not have autoimmune, but I had different responsibilities that didn’t allow me the joys of doing everything that I wanted, including the joys of being with a beautiful woman like yourself at that age. That’s why I want to help you.”
As soon as Joel called you beautiful, he saw your reaction. You started to blush on your cheeks from the compliment. You felt flattered by the older man that was in front of you. Meanwhile, Joel internally scolded himself at how his statement wasn't proper patient-doctor etiquette. Joel had vowed to himself that he wouldn't cross that line again, especially with you, no matter how drop dead gorgeous he thought you were.
Joel began to run a few tests with you, checking your reflexes and testing your mobility. You didn’t say anything else to him after his statement. You felt embarrassed by your actions and assumptions that he didn't care or understand, when you could clearly see that he did. The longer you looked at him, the more you could see that he was someone who truly did care about helping others. You silently wondered if his treatment would actually help.
“Dr. Miller?” you asked, wanting to scratch the itch of your curiosity in understanding the treatment that he was suggesting.
“Joel” he said as he pushed on your shoulder blades. When you winced he said “are you tender here?” as he pushed on the same spot again, but this time with a little less force.
“Yeah. I’m tender there, and everywhere,” you said with a hiss as he moved his hand down to your biceps. “It’s tender inside every joint, and sometimes muscles. Winter’s in Minnesota aren’t too nice for people like me,” you said, head hanging low as a tear slipped down your cheeks.
You felt Joel stop testing your joints and muscles, hands still on your arms when he placed his finger gently under your chin, slightly tilting your head up so you could look him in the eyes. After a moment he said, “Well, we’ll try to rectify that now won’t we. Massage is more than just relaxin’, it helps a lot of people in ways that can-”
“Can it cure me?” you said, interrupting him, with wide eyes. “Cause if it can cure me, I’ll do anything. But don’t tell me that it’ll work miracles. Don't get my hopes up and then have it fail. I-I can’t take it anymore with all of the disappointment” you said, closing your eyes to take a steadying breath as tears gathered at your waterline. It has been a very long and exhausting road these past three years with your autoimmune journey. You found out early on that your body couldn’t tolerate medication, and nothing else seemed to work.
“I can’t promise that it’ll do miracles by curin’ ya, but I can promise that I’ll try my best to make you feel better. How’s that?” Joel said with a tender voice, trying to soothe your emotional discomfort of years of failed treatments. Joel remembered reading the last line of your referral by Dr. Samson which had stated;
“No treatments have been successful. Patient has voiced wanting to stop trying autoimmune treatments, stating that she didn’t feel like it was working. Patient was informed that if she decided to fully stop taking immunosuppressant medications, that the end result would be major organ damage that could lead to death. Patient agreed to try one more treatment for pain, stating that if the treatment didn’t work, then she’d stop autoimmune treatments altogether and ‘let whatever happens, happen’.”
‘Fuck,’ Joel had thought when he first read that last line in your medical file. Someone giving up, especially at such a young age, didn't sit well with him. Being 29, your entire world was still in front of you. You had a lot more years and possibilities of life in front of you. Giving up wasn't something that Joel did, and the fact that you had voiced wanting to stop treatments to your doctor bothered him immensely. Truly, it wasn't necessarily the fact that you had wanted to stop treatments that upset him. It was your willingness to allow death to potentially consume you that truly got to him. You were too young to die.
20 minutes later, you were lying on your stomach with a sheet covering your lower half. You were completely naked, scolding yourself internally that you didn’t wear underware today with your pants. Joel was slowly massaging your back, trying to work out the knots that he felt in your muscles. As his hands continued to work out the knots and tension, you felt an overwhelming sense of relief. His touch was not only skilled, but carried a reassurance that echoed through your body. You felt safe with him, safe in a way that you haven’t for a long time. You felt like if you were near him, that he’d take all the bad in the world away for you. And if you were being honest, this comfort was something that you haven't felt in a very long time from anyone.
"You're doing great, darlin’," Joel whispered, sensing your vulnerability and turmoil you had been feeling. Joel could tell that you were working through something major in your head, just like most of his patients did. Most of the time he focused on trying to distract people from their internal thoughts, giving them a break when they were here. But there was something about the silence between the two of you right now that he felt like you desperately needed. Every time he’d open his mouth to ask you a question, he’d feel you tense up, and that was the last thing he wanted you to do. So he slowly worked your sore muscles and joints, giving them the tenderness and affection that they needed, while allowing you to stay seated in silence.
Throughout the session, Joel maintained an empathetic connection with you. He explained each technique when he’d switch it up, providing you with the most gentle sense of comfort. He’d tell you what he was going to do, if he moved down your body or up, giving you moments to breathe when he felt like it was too much. But most of all, he gave you that warmth and unawkward silence that you craved. He wanted you to just live and feel, to just be in the moment with him.
As Joel's tender touch continued, you felt a warmth spread throughout your body, slightly dissipating the pain that had lingered there for so long. His words became a comforting melody, echoing a promise to you of relief. “You’re doing so good f’me, gentle breaths in and out, there y’go.” He said, encouraging you to stay centered and remain in the moment. That was the key in pain relief, staying grounded and living within the moment. When we just allow our body to feel, and not force anything, we can find peace and calmness. These feelings of peace and calmness are what leads us to having pain relief.
As Joel moved down to your lower back, you let out a hiss in pain, followed by an “ouch that hurts.”
“What hurts darlin’?” Joel said, slowing his deep strokes on your lower back, right above your tailbone area. He doesn’t remember reading in your file that you had lower back pain, so this was something new that caught him a little off guard.
“Right there, low” you said, hissing again as he pressed his finger into the lower part of your back, on your left side, by your hip.
After you hissed a second time, Joel immediately stopped and walked around to the other side of the massage table. He gently pressed on your lower back and hip joint on the other side, saying, “how ‘bout over here, does this hurt?”
“No, not as bad,” you said. “It's my left side, god that hurts.” You said, as he reached over and lightly pressed on your left side once again.
“Ok, let’s try somethin’,'' Joel said, moving completely over to your left side now. “I’m gonna hold up the blanket, where you still are covered, and I want you to flip completely on your back, okay? I wanna see if your pain continues in a different position.”
You nodded your head and then gently felt the blankets pull off from you. Joel was completely looking away from you, giving you privacy as you turned to lay on your back instead of your stomach. When you finally settled, you told him that you were ready. He then informed you that he was only going to uncover your left leg, to the mid thigh region. As he did, he explained how he was going to test your leg's range of motion to see if it was your hip joint that had caused you pain.
With only doing simple joint motions with your leg, Joel noticed that nothing was painful. When he bent your knee, pointing your knee outwards towards the left, followed by gently lifting your leg higher, to open up your pelvis more, he didn’t see any outward signs of pain from you.
“If I do this, does it hurt?” He said, placing a little weight on your leg.
As soon as your knee got about level with your pelvis you hissed again. Joel tried pushing down on your pelvic joint to determine where it hurt, but all you did was whimper. The pain wasn’t coming from your joint, it was coming from someplace else deep inside of you. When he returned your leg back down he said “I’m sorry darlin’, I can’t determine where your pain is coming from. Have you had it-”
“Just forget about it” you said, turning your head to the opposite side, closing your eyes as you felt the tears start to stream down your face.
“Hey, none of that, '' Joel said, gently turning your chin towards him so he could see your face in its entirety. “If somethin’ is hurting ya, I wanna hear about it. Help me out, where does it hurt?” When you didn’t respond right away he said, “does it hurt here” as he gently pressed on your hip bone. He watched you shake your head no. “How about here?” He asked, moving slightly inward, towards the inside of your pelvic bone.
With a shaky breath you said, “no, but it hurts straight down, but lower and inward more.”
“Here” he said, moving down about halfway where your hip joint was, towards the inside of your pelvis. You let out another shaky breath, closing your eyes as tears fell more from your cheeks, shaking your head no to him.
It took Joel a second to figure it out. But when he did, he finally understood why you were crying. You were embarrassed about what was happening inside of your body. When he moved his hand down towards the lower left side quadrant of your abdomen, and gently pushed where your ovaries were, he asked, “does it hurt here darlin’?” As soon as he applied a little bit of pressure to your left ovary area, you let out a stuttered breath, nodding your head up and down.
Joel flattened his hand on your tummy, where the sensation was, knowing what the culprit was. You were probably mid cycle and ovulating with an ovarian cyst. He didn’t remember you being pregnant, but he wanted to make sure that it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy before he ruled it as an ovarian problem.
“If I press over here, does it hurt?” Joel said, pressing on the other side in the lower abdomen. You had your eyes closed, tears lightly falling, shaking your head no.
“Ok, ok, darlin’. I know, I know. Deep breaths for me though, ok?” he said, as he watched tears stream down your face. He gave you a moment to collect yourself, before he asked his next question.
“Is there any chance you could be pregnant?” He said, slowly stroking your tummy where a baby would be laying. He knew he shouldn’t, but somehow imagining you having a swollen tummy where a baby would lay was giving him fantasies that he didn’t even know existed.
You let out a sarcastic laugh, saying, “no, it’s not that.”
Puzzled, Joel looked at you and said, “y’know, if an ectopic pregnancy happened, y’still could have a normal period. If there’s any chance that you could be pregnant, like having unprotected sex, or even if the condom broke, you probably should-”
“Joel, I haven’t had sex in 3 years,” you said, barely above a whisper. When you noticed the shocked look on his face you turned your head away from him adding, “guys really don’t want to have sex with a woman like me.”
“What’d y’mean, a woman like you?” He said, furrowing his brows at your odd phrasing.
“A woman who’s sick with autoimmune, Joel.” You said, closing your eyes and trying to pull back the tears that were threatening to fall again. You didn't want to have this conversation, and you sure as hell didn't want to admit how the act of even having orgasms were difficult for you. There were just some autoimmune embarrassments that you wanted to keep to yourself, no matter how much it shattered your soul inside. You didn't feel like a beautiful, young, sexy, attractive woman that you knew all the other single 29 year old ladies felt. You felt like you couldn’t offer anything to the male race that wasn't medical tests, sickness, and heartache combined.
Immediately Joel felt irritation and anger at your careless comment of how men wouldn't find you attractive or want to be with you. Without dwelling on it, Joel did the one thing that he knew he shouldn't, he opened his mouth to speak more on the issue. He hoped he could get you to understand that not all men were like this, that he sure as hell wasn't like this.
“Darlin’, boys, not real men, are like that. A real man wouldn’t allow sickness to stop him from wantin’ a beautiful woman like yourself. A real man would enjoy making you feel good. Real men, honey, not boys.”
Once he said it, Joel knew that he shouldn’t have opened his mouth, especially with the look that you were giving him. You looked back at him, shocked, and taken aback by his forward statement. But he couldn’t just stand there and listen to you accuse men, like him, of not caring. He would do anything to be with a beautiful woman like yourself, whether or not you were sick with a permanent illness.
After your head caught up with Joel's statement on men, you just shook your head. You then gave him a genuine, honest to god, belly laugh. “Yeah, well, Mr. Miller, show me where a real man is who wouldn’t care about all of that. Tell me who he is, because honestly, I haven’t found one single guy out there who’d be willing to have a real relationship with me because of this illness. And for the record, I can’t even get a guy to fuck me with no strings attached either. Not that I’d want that, cause I don’t do the casual sex thing, but still, you get it.” You said, snapping right back at him.
It was Joel's turn this time to look shocked. He thought to himself, why the hell has no one treated you right? He could see that you were exhausted with your own body and with your own life. He could tell that you were exhausted at the reminder of what you didn't have, of what your autoimmune disease had taken from you. He wondered if you ever truly tried, or if you just gave up right away. The longer he looked at you, the more he realized that you had tried, but obviously you weren't successful.
As you sat there partially propped up onto your forearms, you felt the tears well up into your eyes once again as you watched Joel look at you. You were embarrassed at what you had said. At admitting how easy it was for everyone else in the world to have relationships, everyone except you. Hell your own family even disowned you after your diagnosis stating that it was “too hard for them to handle.” So you've been doing this on your own, all alone, for the past 3 years. Exhausted didn't even come close to describing the way that you felt.
As you gently laid back down at this realization of loneliness once again, silently scolding yourself for opening your mouth, you accidentally hit the back of your head on the table, muttering “shit” under your breath. After a moment, you heard Joel let out another long sigh and then he gently grabbed your chin and said, “hey, look at me.”
When you looked into Joel’s eyes, he was staring back at you with concern and tenderness lacing his features. Joel saw your frustration and array of emotions, and he felt like it was important for him to take away all those insecurities by telling you that he wasn't like all those other boys you were with. With a slight smile, he gently cupped your cheek and said, “darlin’, a real man, like me, doesn’t fucking care if you’re sick or not. Men, like me honey, would take care of you regardless of the problems that you have. And honestly, it’s a damn shame that no one has ever taken their time with you, making sure your needs were met. If I was with you, I'd make damn sure you were enjoying it the entire time.”
Joel then removed his hand and placed both hands on the side of the massage table, stepping back and exhaling through his mouth as he looked down at the ground. He knew he needed to end this session right now. He's already stepped over far too many lines, and if he didn't watch it, he'd cross an even bigger one of showing you how a real man gave a beautiful woman pleasure.
You laid there watching the turmoil unfold on Joel's face. He wouldn't look up at you, kept staring down at the floor, shifting his weight back and forth on his feet periodically. He had checked his watch several times, attempted to clear his throat once, and had quickly glanced out the window. You knew those signs, he was trying to find a nice way to end the session or end the conversation. The more you watched him, the more upset you got.
After Joel stood there staring outside for a while, he finally cleared his throat again. “I- uh, I think Dr. Anderson can probably help you better, she’s very good with this type of stuff,” he said, waving his arm at you, but not looking at you.
When he straightened up to walk away you closed your eyes and said in a soft voice, “Please, please, help me.” You wanted to keep your voice steady, but you found that it slightly cracked at the end, which made you internally scold yourself. You weren't a weak person by nature, you couldn't afford to be with a disease that was slowly destroying your organs and killing you from the inside out. But somehow you felt like you were weak, like you were just a shell of the person that you once were. At first, when you asked for his help, you didn't know what exactly you were asking for. But as the seconds ticked by, with him not answering, you realized that you were pleading for him to see you.
Without looking at you, Joel asked in a gentle tone, “what do y’need help with?” When he turned back around towards you, his eyes were closed, and he was taking several steadying breaths. He was trying to calm his nerves and to silence the war that was going on in his mind. His mind was screaming at him, reminding him that this was inappropriate patient-doctor conversation or relations. He knew he needed to stop. So it shocked him to hear himself say a little louder, “Darlin’, what do you need help with?”
You just stared up at him, searching his face to see if what you wanted to voice was okay for you to do. You wanted him, as a man, to find you attractive and to touch you. But how could you ask him to go against all of his code of ethics as a medical provider just to touch you like a husband would touch a wife, desperately and passionately. You didn’t even know if he was married, or even in a relationship with someone else.
As Joel opened his eyes, he looked down at you, and it was then that he knew what you wanted. You were looking at him the same way his ex-wife used to look at him from time to time. When she’d plead with him to fuck her, to silence all her insecurities in her head. He hasn't seen a woman look at him like that for almost 20 years, and it did something to him. It made his resolve crumble instantly where he said ‘fuck it' in his own head, and he gave in to his primal instinct of helping you as a man, not as your doctor.
“Baby, come on. I ain’t gonna ask y’again. What is it that you need, honey? Tell me, and I'll do it.”
“Joel, please,” was all you could say, begging him with your eyes, trying to tell him what you wanted.
“No, now, come on. Y'gotta use your words for me. Be a good girl and tell Daddy what he can do to help you and make you feel better.”
As soon as Joel had said the word daddy, he instantly scolded himself. But when he saw your eyes glaze over with arousal at the name, he knew what you wanted. You lightly whimpered and started squeezing your thighs tight together.
Joel felt dizzy for a moment as blood rushed fast to his cock at your whimper, his cock hardening to the point of being painful. But this wasn't about him. This was about you, about showing you that a real man, like him, could give you affection and attention like you so desperately needed.
He walked towards you, gently placing his hand onto your thigh, lightly stroking it. He was trying to center you and help you communicate with him in what you wanted and needed. He knew all of this was wrong, but he couldn't help himself, especially when you begged him to touch you.
“Joel, please, touch me,” you said, while grabbing his hand and guiding it to below the blanket to where you were practically throbbing.
“F-fuck,” Joel slightly moaned, closing his eyes at the feeling of you not wearing any underwear as he touched your slick velvet folds underneath the blanket with his hand. Your lips were slightly swollen, aroused, and desperately needing attention. You were making a mess on his table, slick pouring out of you from your needy little hole. You wanted Joel to help soothe the ache deep within you, to take your pain away.
Joel slowly moved his finger down to your center. Feeling your pussy spasm and clench around nothing. He rested his finger at your opening, not pushing his finger inside of you just yet, but slowly stroking it with feather-like touches. “Baby, we shouldn’t do this” he said, still slowly circling your opening, and not stopping or pushing his finger in. He needed to hear your verbal confession that you wanted this, that you wanted him. As Joel felt your hole clench a second time at nothing, he said, “baby, please, say somethin’.”
You moaned slightly while opening your hips up to allow him better access to you. “More” was the only audible thing that you could say at the moment. And that's when Joel’s resolve fully crumbled, and he pushed two fingers knuckle deep inside of you, stretching you perfectly around him.
“Fuck baby, that's tight. Ya squeezing my fingers in a goddamn vice.” He said, growling low, followed by a soft grunt.
You willed yourself to relax, to allow Joel in more. To allow him to get deeper within you, to where you knew that you needed him. To say his fingers were a stretch was an understatement. His fingers were longer and thicker than what you were used to. It was a comfortable stretch, but almost borderline on being painful. You've never been stretched out this much with just fingers alone. If you had to guess by his slow movements he was doing right now, you thought that Joel was a very experienced man, especially when he curled his fingers and found that spot deep within you that you've never found before. As soon as he hit it, your eyes rolled back in your head and you softly moaned “fuuuck.”
“There she is, right there huh, baby?” He said, angling his hand a bit more to get a little deeper as he started to stroke your g-spot with those perfected come hither movements.
Joel was good at three things: First, he was a very hard worker. He had the perfect street smarts to own and operate two successful businesses in his lifetime. Second, he was an amazing father. Always listening and being there for his girls. And finally, he was an attentive lover. He listened, and found what worked for every woman that he’s ever been with. He knew how to fuck a woman just right, and how to bring her the most and best pleasure. And that was something that he made sure you understood at the moment with his fingers.
As Joel continued to work his magic with his fingers, pushing them a little deeper inside of you, and picking up the pace in stroking you, you felt your walls spasm more. You let out a low moan, breathing starting to become erratic as the sensation of pleasure took over your body. You were right, you obviously hadn't had a good fuck for a long time, especially considering that you were not far from coming undone on just his fingers alone with no clit stimulation whatsoever. And if you could describe the feeling that you were feeling right now with his fingers moving inside of you, you would describe it as being ‘fucking fantastic.’
Joel found himself matching your small moan with a groan of his own, especially when he looked down and noticed your pussy was dripping all over him. He slowly started withdrawing his fingers, giving you time to adjust, before pushing them back in. It was obscene, the wet squelching noises that your beautiful cunt was making for him. You were biting your lip, eyes casted away from him. He gently grabbed your chin with his other hand, turning you towards him while saying “no darlin’, eyes right here. Ya keep ‘em on me, ok?” He said, as he slowly kept pushing his fingers in and out of you. He kept up the slow pace for a bit, working you up, not wanting to fully tip you over the edge just yet. He knew that you needed this, that you needed to enjoy the experience.
“Joel, it feels- fuck, it feels, it feels,” you were at a loss for words at the moment. You were struggling to keep your eyes on him right now, fighting them from wanting to roll back into your head at the sensation of pleasure.
“I know baby. Fuck, just listen to her, she needs this huh? Your pussy needs this, doesn’t she? This. Nice. Slow. Finger. Fuck, huh?” He said, slowing down more and thrusting harder with his fingers at every word he said, drawing out your pleasure more. The longer he fucked you slow with his fingers, the more your pussy gripped him hard, sucking him in, not wanting him to leave. You were panting, starting to squirm, getting lost in the pleasure. Joel wanted to tease you a little longer, but he figured you weren’t used to this kind of play. Something he intended to do next time he had you alone, preferably in his bed with you begging for his cock.
When Joel saw you start to match his thrusts with your own, he knew it was time for him to tip you over the edge. So Joel really started to finger fuck you you now, the way that he knew women liked. When he did that, you cried out at the stimulation and surprise of his actions.
“Shhh baby, it's alright,” he said, cooing at you to quiet you down. “Now, darlin’, you’re gonna be a good girl and come all over these fingers, ok? Then you're getting a full refund today. I don't charge money to finger fuck my clients.”
You nodded your head, trying to keep your eyes open as Joel massaged the inside of your velvety warm walls, getting closer to the edge. Your toes were starting to curl, breathing was very erratic. You were getting very close to cumming.
“And lastly sweetheart,” he said, putting pressure down on your lower abdomen, and curling his fingers in a way that he knew would make your vision go blurry, while building a firm pressure sensation inside of your abdomen. “You must communicate with me with your words when something doesn't feel good, or if you want me to do something differently. You know your body better than me honey. I don't, so help me make you feel good. Okay?”
Fuck you were wrecked, seconds away from crashing through, or into, a brick wall with an orgasm, you thought. This felt different though, so much different than what you’ve ever experienced before. “Joel, fuck, pressure, it’s a lot of pressure and I’m, fuck, I’m, I’m-”
“Come f’me sweetheart. Come on baby, fucking soak my fingers” Joel growled in your ear as the rubberband inside of you snapped hard. When it did, your cunt seized around his fingers as you felt the gush of fluid come out of you, he made you squirt for the first time. Your vision went white, ears ringing, legs shaking from the intensity of it all. You’ve never come so hard ever in your life, and you couldn’t help the loud moan that escaped your lips around Joel’s hand that was now covering your mouth. He continued to fuck you through your orgasm, whispering “good fucking girl” with a strained voice as he watched you come undone. His own pupils were blown wide, eyes impossibly dark with lust, wanting nothing more than to bury his cock deep inside of you, to feel you spasm around him hard like this. But that would have to happen at a later time. Today was about you, about giving you something that you needed, attention from a man. You were a beautiful woman, and you deserved to have a man take care of you in this way, and other ways too, even if you did have autoimmune disease.
Joel continued to slowly work you through your high, pumping his fingers gently in and out of you. When you finally came back to Earth, he removed his soaked fingers from your cunt and then he slammed his lips hard against your mouth, kissing you fervently. You licked the seam of his lips, asking for access into his mouth, which he quickly granted. You two were wrestling your tongues together, each seeking dominance over the other. Joel has never been kissed like this, with so much passion that he hated pulling away from you mere moments later, gasping for breath as his heart raced out of control in his chest.
“Fuck woman, no one’s ever kissed me like that,” he said, gasping for breath. Joel placed his forehead gently against yours, eyes closed, breathing you in as his heart rate slowed in his chest.
“Do you want me to take care of you?” you asked, laying your hand gently on his crotch, feeling him buck slightly into your touch beneath you.
“No baby, I wanna do this right, take ya out first, if y’don’t mind.”
“You don't have to if you don't want to, I mean-”
Joel snapped open his eyes and stood up looking at you, furrowing his brows. He then shook his head and said “don't”, and walked over to the sink in the corner of the room to wash his hands. You sat up, chewing on your lip, overthinking things once again. After a moment of silence you heard him speak when he shut the water off.
“I'm not some 20 year old punk ass boy who only cares about getting his own rocks off, darlin'. I don't do that sort of thing. Now, if you don't want to have dinner with me, then that's fine. But I'd really like to take y’out.”
“Like a date?” You asked, looking into his eyes hopeful.
“Yes baby, like a date.” He said, standing in front of you, holding a robe up for you to take to cover your naked body up.
“Yeah, but what happens when I- when we- when it's done? Or what happens if I can't because of this- because of autoimmune?” you say, motioning your hand up and down at your body.
Joel took a big breath in, and then slowly let it out through his nose. He then cupped your face with both hands and said, “ok, I'm gonna stop you right there. First, I don't fuck on the first date, ok, so don't worry your pretty lil’ head about it. And second, I don't give a damn if we have to reschedule. I understand you have autoimmune disease, remember I've read your file.” Joel immediately winced at that reminder, of how he has crossed every line in the sand with his actions. He didn't know how he was going to explain to Dr. Samson that his treatment wouldn't work with you and that he was going to refer you to Dr. Anderson. It was going to cost him big time, he knew that. Dr. Linda Anderson wouldn't just drop it, she'd want an explanation. But Joel couldn't think about that right now, he'd deal with it and her later.
“But Joel it's-”
“Do you not want to go out to dinner with me?” He asked, the color draining from him face. Did he read you wrong? Were you just looking for a quick orgasm and nothing more? He rubbed his neck in embarrassment, thinking he completely fucked up at your signals once again. “You-uh, you don't have to say yes if you don't want to. I mean, if I read you wrong you can- uh, no pressure to say no.” He was internally scolding himself at this entire situation, of how much he's fucked up today. His ex-wife was right, he thought, he definitely doesn’t understand what women need nor want. Proof was here, right in front of him, with your reluctance to say yes to just dinner.
Joel turned to walk out, mumbling “I'll give you some privacy to get dressed. I'll tell Ashley to give you a refund when I see her tomorrow, don’t worry, she’s already left for the day. And you can just forget about today if you want, if I made you feel uncomfortable. I’ll sorry, I just-”
“Stop, please,” you said, grabbing his arm. “Don't leave. Everyone does, everyone leaves me. I-I want you to stay with me right now, please.”
Joel stopped and looked at you, seeing the gears in your head turning. After a moment he said, “please honey, ya gotta tell me what you're thinking. I can't-”
“I want to go out on a date with you Joel, it's just, don't have high expectations or hopes for me, ok? Men do, and then as they get to know me they- they get mad when I don't meet something that they wanted. I- this- it’s hard ok? It’s hard ‘cause I have a gorgeous man in front of me that I've been attracted to since the moment I saw him, and all I want is for him to see me. To really see me. And I- I don’t wanna fuck that all up where you hate me, or think I’m a failure and I- I should just really stop talking.” You said, laughing at yourself and blushing at the fact that you just spilled all of your insecurities in the air to a stranger. A very hot stranger, but a stranger nevertheless.
“Honey,” he said, grabbing your hand softly. “I want all that too and, if I'm being honest, I'm a little scared of a date too as it's been a long time since I've done this. The whole dating thing, it hasn’t been a priority of mine for a while. But I wanna do it f’you, with you. We can take it slow, we can figure it out together, ok? How does that sound?” Joel then leaned in and gave you a soft, delicate kiss on your lips, one that immediately calmed your nerves.
“Ok, yes. Dinner would be great,” you said, a tad breathless after Joel pulled away from kissing you. You took a moment to compose yourself, to will the butterflies to calm down in your tummy at the thought of getting a chance to have a date with this man.
Joel watched the blush rise up in your cheeks, and if he was being honest, it flattered the hell out of him. That a simple gentle kiss could get you all hot and bothered, where you were blushing for him. “Ok, good,” he said, smiling. “How about I pick you up around 6pm this Saturday?”
You nodded your head, and noticed that Joel furrowed his brows at the lack of your speaking to him again. You quickly said, “Saturday would be perfect.”
Joel stood there for a moment, glancing over your features, looking at you intently, making sure that you in fact truly wanted this. Once he found what he was looking for, he stepped back and gave you a small smirk.
“Ok, darlin’. Now for life's biggest, and most important question. What toppings do y’like on your Pizza?” Joel decided to take you to his favorite pizza place on Saturday. When he saw you smile, he knew that he picked a good choice.
“Well Miller,” you said, while giving him your best playful smirk. “You’re just going to have to take me out to find out.”
End of Part 1
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Top banner by Artist on Instagram: caimages_love
Tag list (if you request to be added to my tag list, you will be tagged for all of my stories. I don't have a separate list for each story.)
@punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346 @nandan11 @swiftpascal @eliza-8 @vickie5446 @nastiasnow @staywildflowahchild @ratoonstown @l3laze @its-always-420-on-the-moon @kirsteng42 @bambisweethearts @lokischocolatefountain @joeldjarin
#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel and reader#pedro pascal#joel miller masterlist#the last of us#joel miller smut#joel the last of us#joel x f!reader#joel x oc#joel x reader#joel miller fanfic#joel miller tlou#joel miller x y/n#joel massage therapist#joel miller and female#joel and female#joel x female reader#joel miller x female reader#female autoimmune#tlou hbo#the last of us hbo#original character#original story#joel miller x f!reader#f!reader#f!reader chronic illness
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Let The Light In |2|
Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader
Chapter Two: Alamort
Summary: You've been struggling to sleep the past few weeks, a late friend of yours not leaving your mind and on top of that you get stuck with Tara for a group project
Warning(s): Swearing, mentions of death, grief and underage drinking
Notes: Was able to put some Sam appreciation in this chapter cause I love her sm, also I would like to clarify that in this au ghostface will not be making a return so dw worry about our girl Anika
Masterlist|Previous Part|Next part
It’s been a long day and you were absolutely exhausted. You felt like you were going to pass out, you quickly changed into your pj’s and as soon as your body hit your bed you practically melted. Not too long after that you fell asleep, if only you would have enjoyed it.
—
Your right leg bounced as you stared at your phone, you bit on your nails and your younger brother gave out a huff. “Staring at the phone isn’t going to make him call. You’re just making the waiting ten times worse,” your younger brother said, taking the seat beside you. You sighed and rubbed your hands anxiously up and down your thighs.
“He said he’d call as soon as they were done. It’s been forever! Why the hell hasn't he called yet?” You knew the possible answer but couldn’t bear to say it out loud.
“I’m sure he’s fine, fighting ghost face doesn’t seem like a five minute type of thing.” You had gotten a call from Dewey earlier saying he was going to the hospital because ghostface was there and reassured he’d call you right after if he got back safely. If. You didn’t like that if he snuck in there. He talked to both you and your younger brother, it was like he was saying goodbye. As if he knew this would be the last time he’d talk to either of you. They must’ve arrived at the hospital because you could barely get a word out before he gave one last “Bye, I love you guys” and hung up the call.
You had thought about going to the hospital yourself but your brother was strongly against it. He blocked the door when you tried to leave, not wanting you to fall victim to ghostface. It had happened before in your family and he refused to let history repeat.
An hour later was when you found out. When you got the call you immediately took your brother and rushed down to the hospital. You felt numb as you watched Dewey’s lifeless body being covered by a tarp. I should’ve been there, you thought to yourself repeatedly. You looked over to your brother, his eyes never pulled away from the tarp that covered Dewey. He broke out into sobs as you held him close, still in shock that this was actually happening.
As soon as you and Gale made eye contact, she ran up to you and hugged you both tightly. You couldn’t stop thinking about how you just sat there, safe and sound in the trailer while Dewey was gutted in cold blood.
You woke up, covered in sweat. You rubbed your eyes before frantically looking at your surroundings. You weren’t in Woodsboro anymore, you were in your apartment in New York. You sat up in your bed while breathing heavily.
You’ve been having the same dream– or well, nightmare ever since Dewey’s passing. Your mind refused to let you forget the day you just sat there as the closest thing you had to a father figure was taken from you.
—
You were exhausted. You barely got two hours of sleep last night, constantly being met with the same memory. With Dewey’s death anniversary getting closer and closer, the nightmares were only getting worse. It was now five am, there was still a lot of time to pass before class started. You took a shower to wash off all the sweat you made from tossing and turning. By the time you finished getting ready it was only six am.
The rest of your morning was spent watching Brooklyn Nine Nine while enjoying a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. You eventually left your apartment, making your way to your first class. Unfortunately, you had history which meant you were stuck with Tara once again.
No matter how many seats were vacant, she always chose to sit next to you. It put your teeth on edge but you knew she was doing it solely to piss you off. Goodness, she was annoying.
When you arrived you sat down and immediately put your head down. You almost fell asleep until there was a loud slam by your head. Tara had slammed down one of her books and sat down in the seat beside you.
Your head shot up as you rubbed your eyes. “Morning to you too, princess.” You mumbled, still rubbing your eyes in an attempt to rub away the exhaustion.
“You look like shit,” she commented, putting down her bag. “You don’t look too good either.” You were already growing even more tired due to her presence.
The rest of the class went on like this, Tara making a comment and you returning it. It truly wasn’t that much different from Woodsboro. Always picking fights and at each other's throats. But if you were being honest with yourself, it was a nice distraction. Guess she was good for something but you’d never tell her that.
You were writing something down when a crumpled up piece of paper hit the side of your face. You turned to give Tara a scowl before opening up the paper.
I need to copy your notes, the note read. You rolled your eyes and turned to Tara. She was still facing the front of the class, you turned back and wrote your reply on the piece of paper. You threw it to Tara before going back to writing.
Fuck no, why can’t you just write them on your own?? Tara annoyingly exhaled before aggressively writing something else on the paper. She chucked it at you and it hit you near your eye. You huffed and read the paper once again, I can barely understand the words coming out of his mouth on top of him talking too fast!
You sighed and rubbed your temples, your sleep deprivation was starting to catch up. “After class.” You mumbled in defeat. Tara took the victory until she got lost in her own head.
This wasn’t like you. Usually you’d give up more of a fight, she had noticed your drained expression when she walked in. She decided not to dwell on the topic too much, this was you after all. It wasn’t like she knew you knew you. Just enjoy the win, Tara she thought to herself.
—
After you finished all your classes, you finally got back to your apartment in one piece. Your eyelids were heavy as you fumbled with your keys. Eventually you inserted your key and unlocked the door, you could barely feel your legs as you walked inside and your brain was all foggy. You nearly knocked over a lamp when you walked in. Anika noticed this and immediately rushed over to your side.
“Shit, Y/N. When was the last time you slept?” You mumbled something she couldn’t hear before landing on the couch. You let out a long sigh and put your hand over your eyes to block out the light that was directly above you.
“This micro-sleeping crap that you’ve been trying clearly isn’t helping,” Anika sighed while putting a couple pillows behind you.
“I’m fine.” You murmured even though it was a blatant lie. “I’m gonna go make you grilled cheese and heat up the leftover tomato soup.” Anika stated before walking off to the kitchen. You had previously mentioned to her how that combo always made you fall asleep when you couldn’t as a child. Anika noticed how in the past few weeks, you’ve been losing more and more sleep. She was worried about you but also knew you were too stubborn to accept help.
Fifteen minutes later, she came back with a bowl of tomato soup with a diagonally cut grilled cheese sandwich on the side. “Eat.” You whined in response but Anika wasn’t having it. She forcefully sat you up and pushed the coffee table closer to you. “You’re eating. No complaints. You can’t just live off of Cereal and Ramen Noodles.”
You reluctantly brought a spoonful full of tomato soup to your mouth. “Says, who?” you mumbled with the spoon in your mouth. Anika only rolled her eyes and brought you a water bottle. Choosing not to argue any further, knowing she already won since you were eating.
You switched over to the sandwich when Anika sat across from you and asked,“Okay, what’s been going on with you?” She interrupts you before you can respond. “And don’t say ‘nothing’ cause it’s obvious it’s not nothing.” You looked back down the sandwich in your hand.
“I don’t feel like talking about it.” You answered honestly. Anika looked at you for a second before nodding in understanding. “That’s okay. But just know that I’m here for when you do feel like talking about it,” she put her hand on yours for a moment before getting up and walking to her room, knowing that you needed time to yourself.
You put down the sandwich and sighed to yourself. You stayed there on the couch for a bit, alone with your own thoughts. Each one telling you the same thing. You should’ve been there.
—
A few days have passed and a few weeks have passed since you’ve gotten a proper night’s rest. You were in history, Tara scoffed at a comment you made before you both heard the words “...group project. Pair up in two’s.” You and Tara looked around to see everybody else already pairing themselves off with other people.
And that was how you ended up at the Carpenter-Bailey residence. Even though you had insisted to your professor that you should work alone, he shook his head and told you that wasn’t an option. You made sure Tara knew you weren’t interested in starting the project last minute.
You sat down on their couch as you waited for Tara to come back from whatever it was she was doing. “Finally, let’s begin.” You said when she came back into view. “Still as patient as ever,” Tara quipped as she sat down a couple cushions over.
“Whatever, let’s just get this over with so I don’t have to be here any longer.” Just then Sam walks through the door, she kicks the door closed with her foot due to her hands being full from carrying groceries.
She looked up, unexpectedly to not just her sister but also you. Sam opens her mouth but before she gets a word out, one of the bags she’s carrying drops. You immediately get up to go help her. Tara furrows her eyebrows at your action.
“Thanks,” Sam mumbled as you both placed the bags down on the coffee table. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Tara, you didn’t tell me you were having people over.” She said, turning to her little sister as you sat down in your previous spot. “It was a last minute thing. We have a group project and unfortunately I got stuck with her as my partner,” Tara responded which pulled an eye roll from you.
“Love you too, Tar.” You quipped as you took out one of your notebooks. Tara elbowed you before continuing. “I’d introduce you but supposedly you two have already met,” Tara recalled that you’ve mentioned meeting Sam before.
“Yeah, I remember her now. She can stay, but if you go to your room make sure to keep your door open–” Tara blushed as you looked up from your notebook, moving your stare to Tara then to Sam then back to Tara.
“You don’t have to worry about that, Sam. Trust me.” Tara answered quickly. Sam looked between the two of you suspiciously. “Okay, but I still want the door three inches open.”
“Okay, okay” Tara sighed as she tilted her head back. Goodness, Sam could be so embarrassing sometimes.
A few seconds later, Sam finally left to put away the groceries. You bit your lip, trying not to laugh about what just happened. You found embarrassed Tara very amusing. “Shut up,” Tara said, elbowing your side again. “Let’s start, unless you plan to continue flirting with my sister.”
This caught you off guard. You turned your head to Tara and raised an eyebrow. “What?” Tara rolled her eyes, “I’m not stupid. You obviously like her and it’s so gross. That’s my sister, asshole.”
What made her think you liked Sam? Sure you noticed how she was tall, attractive and her arms- wait where was this going? Oh yeah, you did not like her like that.
“Tara, I don’t like your sister. Not like that.” She wasn’t meeting your gaze, choosing that the pages of her textbook were more interesting. “Sure. Can we just start? You were the one who wanted to get it over with.”
“Whatever.” You two started and throughout the duration you both argued over stupid things and chucked notes at each other as if you were still in class. After two hours, Tara started to get bored and hungry. You were in the middle of writing something when she let out a dramatic huff. “What now, princess?”
“You’re not the least bit tired or bored?” She asked, leaning back on the couch. You sighed and answered without looking up from your writing. “Tired? Yes, but that’s nothing new. Bored? It’s history. I’m not bored.”
“You always were such a nerd when it came to history. What was that thing you always said? Learn by making history or something?” You rolled your eyes, “You make history by learning history.” You finally looked up to see her slight smirk. She got the reaction wanted.
She always liked seeing you worked up. But specifically when it came to the things you were passionate about. Sometimes she would purposely miss-quote something from The Office or tell a historical event completely wrong just to get a reaction out of you.
You would furrow your eyebrows and get all grumpy and you knew she was just doing it to get on your nerves. And you had the same expression now as you did then. Tara took note of this and smiled to herself.
“I can tell you’re enjoying this very much.” You state before turning back to your writing. “Oh, very much,” Tara replied. As you were turned away from the girl and focusing on the project, Tara was still inspecting you. She noticed how you still held a slight furrow in your eyebrows while your nose was a bit scrunched up.
“You gonna keep staring at me, weirdo or continue working on the project?” You commented without looking up. Tara gets a bit flustered when you call her out. “Actually I’m getting something to eat from the kitchen…without getting you something,” Tara responded while getting up and walking to the kitchen.
“Oh, woman, why must you wound me?” You call out, your voice laced with sarcasm.
—
It was now ten thirty and you and Tara were at least ninety percent done with the project. You both decided to call it a night and just finish it up next time.
You let out a tired sigh as you closed all your books and placed them in your bag. Sam walked in and noticed you packing your stuff. “Hey, Y/N I was just about to order some food. Would you like to stay for dinner?” She noticed you hadn’t eaten anything since you’ve been over and barely touched your water.
“She’s goo-” Tara started but you interrupted her. “Of course! I’d love to, thank you.” Staying meant pissing off Tara and you were all for it.
“Great, any food allergies?” Sam asked as Tara glared at you. “Nope.” You answered with a polite smile, feeling the younger Carpenter burn holes at the side of your head. Sam nodded and walked off to her room. Tara then immediately smacked your shoulder.
“Ouch.” You let out with a deadpan expression. “Cry me a fucking river. You’re just staying to piss me off,” Tara accused, still holding a glare.
“I’m neither confirming nor denying. But what I will say is that I enjoy getting you all worked up,” You replied with a smirk. You and Tara looked at each other, almost like you were in a staring contest.
“You know, you’re extremely infuriating.”
“Just for you, princess.”
Just then the doorbell rang and Tara got up to answer it. Sam came out of her room after Tara came back inside carrying the bags of food and walking over to the dining table to place them. You followed Tara and sat down after Sam and Tara did.
After five minutes of silence, Sam decided to try and make conversation. “So, Y/N,” You softly hummed and looked up from your food. “How’s college going?” Sam asked.
“It’s going.” You answered, pushing the food around on your plate. Sam nodded before asking another question. “So, you and Tara have history together?”
“Unfortunately.” Tara responded before you could. “She’s just a peach,” you added while giving a wry smile.
Then it got silent again. It was awkward, at least for Sam it was. You and Tara death glaring at each other from across the table wasn’t helping the tension. To be entirely honest, Sam wasn’t sure what to do. She knew you and Tara weren’t on good terms but she also knew you weren’t a terrible person. So, she had to be the bigger person and be at least decent to you.
You looked at your watch and put down your fork. “It’s late so I should get going. Thank you so much for dinner, Sam.” You started as you stood up.
“Of course, Y/N.” As soon as you left the apartment Tara went to scold Sam. “What the hell Sam?” Sam closed her eyes and sighed before turning her head to her sister. “Tara-”
“You seriously just let the most insufferable person to ever exist stay over for dinner,” Tara huffed while crossing her arms.
“You’re such a baby sometimes, Tar.” Sam said before getting up to put away her food. Leaving Tara to pout to herself. “I’m not a baby…” Tara mumbled to herself, her arms and legs were crossed.
“She’s just an ass.”
—
“Where are you going?” Anika asked as she saw you looking for your keys. “Out.” She rolled your eyes at your one word answer.
“Obviously but where? It’s Saturday, you should be taking that to your advantage and try to get some sleep,” your roommate elaborated.
“I’m fine. I had coffee—” You found your keys on the kitchen counter and grabbed them, “—I’m just gonna hang out with Henry. You wanna join? Henry said he doesn’t mind you coming.”
Anika sighed. “No, I’m good. I’ve got plans tonight.” She knew you weren’t going to budge no matter what she said. “But please, call me if anything happens. Okay?”
“Yeah, yeah ‘course,” you said before leaving and shutting the door.
It was supposed to be a quiet night that consisted of video games, drinks and food. That’s all it was…according to Henry. But when you walked in it was packed with people. You felt like the music’s volume would bust your eardrum and everybody was either knocking into something or someone.
Nope. Nope, nope, nope, you thought to yourself before turning around in an attempt to leave. But then a pair of hands gently turned you back around to face them. You were met with Henry’s face and he could tell you were not happy with him.
“Just hear me out!” Henry shouted in order to be heard above the music. You rolled your eyes at him before responding. “How do you expect me to do that with this music blasting?” You started, matching his volume. “You said it was just gonna be us, what the hell happened to the plan!”
“Jason’s apartment flooded and I had to take over hosting the party!” He answered, still seeing how pissed you were. “I’m sorry, man! This was a last minute thing, I’ll make it up to you! I swear!” You thought to yourself for a second before sighing. “Fine!”
Henry convinced you to stay by bribing you with drinks and that’s how you ended up hiding out in his room. Playing on his nintendo with a red solo cup on his night stand that you occasionally took a sip of.
While you were in the middle of beating Link’s ass the door abruptly opened. You looked up to find Tara who seemed to be flipping somebody off before turning to you. “Don’t.” Was all she said before collapsing on the bed, not far from your feet.
“Wasn’t gonna say anything.” You murmured before looking back at the nintendo. “You just did.” She responded in a muffled voice due to her laying down face first.
“What’s the matter, princess? Long night already?” You started, going against her wishes. She sat up, holding herself up by her arms. “Why do you care?” Tara narrowed her eyes at you as you simply shrugged.
“I don’t. Just…curious is all.” Tara crawled over to sit next to you, leaning her back against the headboard. As she started playing with her hands you looked down at them for a moment, noticing the scar on her left hand.
“What?” Tara asked with annoyance in her voice. “Nothing.” Was all you responded with before taking another sip from the red solo cup near you. Tara looked away and scrunched up her face slightly. As if silently scolding herself before speaking again. “Um, Sam told me by the way. What it is in a few weeks,” she started as you froze. You thought there’d be at least one person who wouldn’t bring it up.
“If you like– need anything or whatever, you can talk to me about it. Not a lot of people have been through what we have.” You continued to look down at the nintendo, you hated when people tried to comfort you. You hated feeling like the victim.
“Could you quit that?” Tara furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Quit what?” You let out a huff before answering her. “Quit being so nice to me. It’s weird. I don’t like it.”
“Would you like me to verbally harass you instead? Cause’ I’ll gladly do so.” Tara quipped with a deadpan expression. “Aww, there’s my girl.” You reached over and pinched her cheeks. “You’re an idiot,” she said as she shoved your hand away.
“But seriously, stop with this mushy shit.” Tara scoffed at you before responding. “It’s not my fault emotions make you uncomfortable.” It was your turn to scoff. “Accusations, false accusations.” You shook your head a little as you said this.
Tara noticed how you avoided the previous subject but didn’t say anything. Sam said she should try to talk to you about it. And that’s what she did, she tried.
A pillow flew to your face, “Oh, real mature.” You grabbed the pillow and threw it back to her. “I’ll remember that the next time your guard is down while I’m near a pillow.”
“Sure you will, Y/L/N.” Tara quipped. “You’ll see.” You continued as you started getting up. “Where are you going?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Why? You gonna miss me?” You remarked with a smirk. Tara rolled her eyes, “God, you couldn’t leave this room soon enough.”
“You love me.”
“I hate you.”
“Correction, you hate how much you love me.”
Tara threw a pillow at you again as you stood by the door, “Get out!” Tara shouted, trying to fight back her laughter. Geez, I’m tipsy, Tara thought.
Eventually you left the room and left Tara alone with her thoughts. She let out a deep sigh as she laid down on the bed. “She’s such an idiot.” Tara mumbled to herself. But something was different about this idiot. About her idiot.
But you were still an asshole, she reminded herself. No matter how cute you may be.
Oh.
Maybe she’ll keep that thought to herself. Whenever she had these thoughts about you she reminded herself about all the things you’ve done and said to each other. She still found you insufferable and incredibly annoying, that was a fact. That doesn’t mean she hasn’t ever noticed you being objectively attractive before. Objectively of course.
She knew she hated you, she knew she hated your smug attitude, the stupid remarks you threw and how much of a control freak you could be. Tara also hated how you could charm your way out of most situations. It was unbearable but also brought her satisfaction that she was the few people you couldn't do that with.
You were an intolerable asshole who’s always gotten on her nerves.
—
Monday came by quick, when you got to history you sat at your usual spot. You were met with a hungover Tara, unsurprisingly. “Two nights in a row? What a rebel.” You quipped as she groaned, rubbing her temples.
“You’re not helping.” She mumbled with her head down. You leaned closer to her and whispered, “Wasn’t trying to.” You leaned back in your seat and took out your notes.
“Alright!” Your professor walked in. “Let’s get started,” He said before loudly clapping his hands together which caused Tara to jump as her hands flew to her ears. You laughed a little which earned you a shoved from the younger Carpenter.
Class went on and you and Tara did your usual routine which consisted of shoving each other, making petty comments and note passing.
Once class was over you got up and closed your books and started to make your way to meet with Anika for lunch. You were only a few feet away from the classroom when you felt a light tug on your shirt. When you turned around you saw Tara.
“Yes, princess?” You asked, looking down at her. She looked kinda cute looking up at you. Over the years you noticed she had these puppy dog eyes without even trying. It’s even more amusing when she’s trying to be serious.
“I’m free tomorrow night if you wanna finish the project then.” She states, still looking up at you with those damn eyes. You nodded, “Alright, see you then.”
“No flirting with my sister though,” she said with an appointed look. “No promises.” You teased which got you a shove to the shoulder.
"Gross," Tara mumbled before walking away from you.
Guess you had to add “flirting with Sam” on the list of things that pissed Tara off.
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A/N: If you'd like to get tagged in future chapters, lemme know in the comments!
#jenna ortega#tara carpenter#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x y/n#tara carpenter x you#jenna ortega x fem!reader#jenna ortega x reader#scream#scream 6
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Merchant's Daughter (Part 2)
God! Aemond x Human●Fem! Reader
Summary: In order to ease the wrath of one of the Gods, the girl among humans is chosen to be gifted to him.
Part 1
To find more stories — masterlist
A/N: I know you've been waiting for it. So here is chapter 2, finally. Want to express my gratitude for your likes, comments, and reblogs. I appreciate it! Love you, guys! Enjoy the story :)
P.S. English isn't my native.
Warnings ⚠️
NSFW, sexual content, typical treatment of women those times, she/her pronouns.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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The man of her father's age opened the gates and kindly smiled at her.
"Welcome to Ēbrion, my lady. The residence of the God of Murk and Affliction — my lord."
She examined the pale complexion of the man, who wore perfectly ironed and starched white shirt with a black suit. His skin was pallid as if the blood no longer rushed in the veins. The man was acting as an alive human, though, there were doubts whether he was one.
"Who are you?" She cautiously inquired, still considering if she could trust him.
"I am a butler, my lady," the man was still smiling warmly.
"What is E... Ebrion?"
"Ēbrion," he pronounced it correctly and went on explaining, "this is the name of the castle, my lady. It means "dusk" in the Valyrian language."
Valyrian — the language of Gods.
The butler took her case and pointed at the lane with his thin arm. She made several uncertain steps walking into the territory of the castle. The gates behind her started closing by themselves what surprised her a little.
"Why is the castle named like that?" She curiously looked at the man and then turned her glance to the great piece of architecture in front of her.
"Due to my lord was born at dusk," she heard the butler's soft voice behind her back. "Please, my lady, may us come inside. Dinner is already awaiting for you, along with a hot bath. You must be exhausted after the journey."
She felt someone's presence the whole dinner as if an invisible person were in the room together with her, hiding stealthily. Somber aura hung over making the air in the castle humid. Although, it could have been her nervousness, and heightened temperature of the body due to her anxiety.
Massive walls were decorated with modeling, ornamented in pretentious paintings of mythical creatures and flowers; pictures in wooden frames adorned the rooms. Events of Gods' and humans' history were depicted on them. At times, it seemed the characters on canvases revived — expressions were altering on their faces, their eyes were watching her with the penetrating gaze. Here and there muted fragments of their conversations were echoing across the halls.
The servants of the castle were moving around ghostly — once they were working in one place, then, after a blink, there was no one in the room, the servants quickly were shifting to other places.
When the girl needed explanation or help, miraculously the butler appeared near her. A moment she turned her head, he vanished as though he weren't there initially.
Who were all these people serving the God of Murk and Affliction? Ghosts? Corpses who came to life? She doubted that someone ever would provide her answers.
She had been staying in this bleak place for a week and hadn't ever met its owner. Each day was gloomy and dull, the atmosphere outside was constant. Once in a while, it was drizzling — at those moments chilly spirit was sweeping through the halls, and the girl was hiding in the chamber, allocated for her, under the thick blankets.
The longer she had been staying here, the more dreadful anticipation of the meeting with the God became. She couldn't comprehend why he still hadn't appeared in his residence. But, she had a horrible feeling the moment she would meet him, it would be the most terrible encounter in her life. It seemed as if it were easier to face the Death than the God of Murk and Affliction himself.
One evening was especially murky. Since morning it had been pouring, so the whole day felt macabre. The poor girl had low spirits — there was no joy in here, nothing to do, nowhere to go, nobody to speak to.
The servants had prepared a hot bath for her. While she was lying relaxed in the tub, pleasant water was soothing her strained muscles, several women were readying her bed, changing usual white linen into black one with red intricate patterns on it.
After, they dried her with soft towels, brought her a beautiful transparent nightgown to wear, something unpleasant tugged and then dropped in her abdomen. Her mind gave the cue that tonight was going to be the encounter. Their lord was coming back home, and his servants were preparing Ēbrion to greet him with lush tables full of mouthwatering dishes, polished floors and decorations, and the main gift who was standing in this chamber.
Her.
Now she realized why her bedroom was in the remote part of the castle — nobody would hear her voice, her screams, her calls for help. As though there were somebody who would safe her.
"My lady," the servant gently took her hand and led her to the bed, helping her to get onto it.
"Please, lie on your back, my lady."
She did as she was asked. Her breath caught in her lungs — the feeling of terror was capturing her body slowly.
"What are you doing?" The girl jumped terrified when the servants grabbed both her arms.
"Please, my lady, you have to lie on your back," the woman's gentle voice asked her again.
Be obedient.
The girl gulped and lowered herself on the duvet. She was trembling, as a small leaf ready to fall on the ground in late autumn, while her wrists got tied to the headboard. A silk bandage covered her eyes — according to the servants' words, it was an order.
And there she was lying, alone, on the fresh and still cold bed, her arms attached to the headboard with ropes. She relied only on her ears hearing attentively what was happening around. The baldachin made of heavy fabric was completely closed. She was in the utter darkness.
Anticipation was eating her from the inside. It felt as if her heart could jumped out of her chest because of how afraid she was.
The echoes of someone's steps were audible in the corridor, reaching closer and closer to her chamber. She strained her body and tightly clenched her legs — was stiff as the violin's string.
All at once, the doors opened and she heard heavy male breathing, and loud stomps of leather boots. She tried to produce no sounds as though he didn't know she was here.
The God knew everything since the moment the convoy entered his lands. His henchmen saw her every step in the mist — vultures, ravens, trees, serpents, the fog itself. Everything and everyone felt foreign presence of a stranger, a human they'd never seen. And he already knew her name — the wind had whispered him.
The girl heard clatters of the crystal jug and goblet, and then quiet pouring of the liquid.
"Do you know who I am?" She heard a deep voice rumbling right from the chest. It felt dangerous and spellbinding at the same time as if looking at the volcanic eruption and hearing grumbles that come from the inside of the mountain.
"God of Murk and Affliction," her own voice sounded pathetic that was natural for such a miserable human she was.
"Remember it. I am a God, you are a human. A little pitiful human."
The baldachin opened suddenly revealing her small body to him worn in transparent fabric. He, without any shame, was staring at her young untouched body smelling her scent — dulcet and virginal.
The girl began moving, yanking the ropes, pulling her legs. Her heart was beating as a bird in the cage, fluttering small wings with the hope to escape. Unfortunately, there was no way back, no way home.
The God's large palm wrapped her thin neck pinning to the bed, his long nose grazed the side of her left cheek reaching her ear.
"Be a good girl for me. If you appreciate your life, be obedient," he whispered and left a light kiss on the earlobe.
She was incapable to breath, her body felt numb due to fear — the girl was lying still on the bed praying to remain alive after this encounter.
But who was she praying to? The Gods who themselves suggested to send her here?
She became alone, abandoned by humans and Gods who knew, who saw, who heard everything from above. They didn't care. One mortal girl was not a big deal.
The night had been dragging a long while, darker than it had ever been in any place of the world. It felt like infinity until the dawn. The infinity with his hard cock between her quivering legs, his heavy breathing and rumbling growls and moans.
She felt sticky hotness between her thighs — blood mixed with her juices and his semen. His strong hands left bruises on her innocent body, he bit her with his sharp fangs, penetrated her with rough thrusts. It was pleasure and pain she was experiencing. Her fleshy insides were fluttering because of exhaustion, but for the God it wasn't enough. He interchangeably used his shaft and long digits exploring the girl's interior.
Her crying didn't halt him, her moans encouraged him to keep on moving.
He examined every inch of her body craving to know all her cavities, convexities, and curves. He played with her breasts, nibbled her nipples, smelled her hair, and teased her clit.
She was different, unlike the Goddesses he had laid with. He sensed purity in her which he was devastating with his sinful actions, wicked tongue and perverse, constantly seeking for fulfillment dick. He adored her hot blood that could be heard rushing in her veins, he relished her taste feasting between her legs for hours till she couldn't take it anymore.
Everything was his from then. She belonged to him and only him.
He took her almost every night, and when the daylight touched the floors of her chamber, the servants always fetched her hot bath and breakfast. The God bestowed her with rich dresses made of heavenly fabrics and precious jewels that no mortal queens or kings ever possessed.
She was his own little human.
She was a good girl for him, and according to his promise he once made, she enjoyed only pleasure in bed. The God allowed her to explore the castle and the territory outside as a gift for her obedience.
Daily she had been spending time in the library, in the garden, or riding a horse in the surroundings of the castle. Her white stallion — a present from the God — was her loyal friend ready to take her anywhere she desired.
The girl was scared no more. The God's henchmen were watching her, the woods were protecting her from the possible danger that may have come from outside of his possessions.
She felt save and secure. Once she came here as a slave, a toy for the God, now she became his girl who he cared for and cherished.
***
The girl was bouncing on the God's hard cock standing on the hands and knees. Light breeze was tickling her nude body, sweet scent of grass and flowers enveloped the space around them.
Since her appearance here, the God's lands has changed reasonably. Thick fog has gone from Ēbrion to the borders of his possessions hiding them from the world outside. The sky wasn't overcast anymore allowing the rays of the sun to elucidate the territories around.
"My Lord..." she moaned loudly.
He gripped her hair tightly accelerating his thrusts.
"My Lord... Aemond! I need a break. I can't take it anymore," her ragged breathing showed her tiredness.
The God groaned, and grudgingly came out of her hot insides. She stretched her body on the blanket, closed her eyes enjoying the warmth of the day. The woods around them were shuffling. How much time had passed since she arrived in here? She didn't remember.
The days and nights blurred, time had no sense for her anymore. Once she was cut from the world she was born in, left forsaken in the unknown place, but now it seemed to be just a memory of long ago times.
In front of her was sitting her beloved man, the God who was spreading his wrath in the world, but sought love and appreciation in her hands.
Her dear Aemond.
"Are you tired, my love?" He took her arm and kissed it.
"A bit, my lord," she smiled, exploring his sturdy body with her curious eyes, and stopping her gaze at his thick cock patiently waiting to be buried deep within her walls again.
"Hmmm..." He thoughtfully rubbed her abdomen. Something began sparking in his good eye.
"What are you thinking about?" She half rose up on her elbows.
"Want to breed you, my love. To conceive a child with you," lust was heard on his tongue. He leaned his face closer to her, his silver hair glistening in the beams of the daylight.
"Do you want a half-God child from a mortal woman? I'm not even a queen, just a merchant's daughter."
An astute smile appeared on his face. He delineated her cheek with his long finger, then gently kissed her full lips.
"I don't want a half-God child. I want you to give birth to a God." He whispered into her mouth, and then pinned her to the blanket with the weight of his body.
She gulped and asked surprisingly:
"How?"
"I will make you my wife. My Goddess."
With these words he pushed his hard cock into her entrance, catching her moan with his lips.
#aemond#aemond targaryen#house of the dragon#prince aemond#aemond fanfiction#aemond fic#aemond one eye#aemond x reader#aemond x you#aegon ii targaryen
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Bumpy History - Part 2 (Aitana Bonmati x Reader)
I'm so sorry this took so long I went home for the weekend and got busy seeing family. Here is part 2 now! Part one here
Today was the day, you had spent the summer figuring out what you felt for Aitana and running through your head what you wanted to do in terms of those feelings and you had come to the same conclusion every time you thought about it. you wanted to get to know her. You wanted to know the way she worked, you wanted to know what she thought about thing and more than anything you wanted to get to know what made her, well her.
You had spent a lot of your summer away with various girls on the team, this included a week away with Leila and Patri in Mallorca, as well as a weekend trip with Alexia to Malaga. During all these trips you spoke to the people you were with about what you wanted to do and what it meant for you.
Patri was the one who told you to go for it as soon as the team got back together for preseason training and that’s how you found yourself here. The team had gone out to the pitch for warm-ups, Aitana was the last one to have her check-up so was slightly later and so you waited. All the confidence you had built up went when she strolled into the changing room in her football shorts and a sports bra.
“Mierda, y/n you scared me. I thought I was the last one. What are you still doing here you should be training.” You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering to admire the woman’s mid-drift, well that was until she cleared her throat.
You brought your eyes back up to her face only to see her eyebrows raised and a slight teasing glint in her eyes. “Lo siento, I um wasn’t expecting this. I wanted to speak to you if that is okay?” You could feel your cheeks heating up, why this woman turned you into a gay mess with one look at her abs you would never know.
“Sure but we have training so make it quick.” She wandered over and sat next to you, still without a top on.
You contemplated your next words for about a second before saying fuck it and speaking. “Put a shirt on first please, you're distracting me.” If you were shy before, the woman was seeing it fading in front of her eyes. She gave you a slightly confused look but got up and grabbed her training top before joining you again.
“Okay, so I have spent the whole summer thinking about our history and how we’ve interacted over the years and how I want that to change. I don’t know what happened when we were younger but I know that neither of us wants to communicate that way anymore. Well for you it seems like you don’t want to communicate at all and if you don’t then obviously I’ll have to respect that and walk away but I know I don’t want that.” You paused to look at the woman sitting next to you and were met with her eyes focused fully on you, and when she nodded you knew she was listening and you could carry on. “You are on my mind a lot. The last year I have been wondering more and more how you spend your days when we are training or playing, I’ve wanted to make sure you are okay when you look sad. I want to be one of the people you laugh with at training, but most of all I want to get to know the real you. Not the one you semi-show me now.”
You both sat there next to each other thinking over what you had just said, and when a few minutes passed you knew she wasn’t going to say anything. “Okay I understand, I’ll see you out there.” You tried to keep the hurt out of your voice but you knew you were never good at hiding your emotions.
You didn’t speak to anyone all session, you were all in your head and beating yourself up forever thinking you were good enough for someone. After the warm down you ignored both Leila and Patri’s shouts for you to wait up and you walked straight out of the grounds and to your car. What you weren’t expecting was to turn your key in the ignition and look in your rearview mirror only to see Aitana standing there stopping you from reversing out the space.
You wound down your window and stuck your head out the opening, “Aitana move, I just want to go home.” You were desperate and you could hear it in your own voice but you didn’t care, all you wanted to do right now was cry out the rejection.
“I’m coming with you.” She didn’t give you a choice in the matter just walked down the side of the car and got in the passenger side. You didn’t have the strength to fight her on this one, not when you saw Leila and Patri approaching.
“Okay fine but I don’t have anything more I want to say to you.” And with that, you pulled out of the stadium leaving behind two very confused best friends.
The journey home was silent, neither you nor Aitana said a word. Both take the time to think through what had happened today and what you wanted to do about it. Aitana was going between looking at you and out the window next to her, her mind a mess of ifs, buts and what-ifs. You on the other hand spent the whole time putting all your energy into keeping your eyes on the road and not on the woman beside you. You could feel her eyes on you on and off and it was making it hard to focus.
When you pulled up at your apartment complex you didn’t give the woman in your passenger seat the chance to even undo her seatbelt before you were out of the car and heading towards the entrance. Aitana grabbed both your bags from the floor in front of her and sped to catch up with you, which she did just as you were stepping into the elevator.
As the elevator doors closed, you both stood in silence. The tension in the air was thick, and neither of you seemed sure on how to break it. Aitana shifted nervously from one foot to the other, before finally breaking the silence. "Y/n, I didn't mean to upset you earlier. I really wasn't expecting you to say all those things, and I didn't know how to respond," Aitana admitted, her voice filled with emotion.
You glanced at her, seeing a vulnerability in her eyes that you hadn't expected. It was a stark contrast to the aloofness she had displayed on the field. "I understand," you replied, your voice softer now. "I know I surprised you, and I'm sorry if I put you on the spot. It's just… I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I wanted to be honest with you."
The elevator reached your floor, and you both stepped out. Aitana followed you to your apartment door. You hesitated for a moment before turning to face her. "Aitana, I don't want things to be awkward between us. I really do want to get to know you better and be friends. But if you're not comfortable with that, I'll respect your boundaries."
She looked at you, and you could see a mix of emotions in her eyes. After a moment, she nodded slowly. "I want to get to know you too, Y/n," she admitted. "I've always been guarded, and it's hard for me to open up to people." You offered a warm smile, feeling a sense of relief and joy that she was willing to see what could come of getting to know each other.
"I understand, let's take it one step at a time there is no need to rush. We can start by training together, then maybe getting to know each other better outside of Barca, and see where it goes from there."
The smile on Aitana’s face appeared as soon as you finished speaking. "That sounds like a great plan."
With that being said, you exchanged phone numbers, and Aitana said she'd text you later to speak about training plans. As you both said your goodbyes, you couldn't help but feel a sense of hope. Maybe, just maybe, this was the beginning of a new chapter in your bumpy road with Aitana. Who knows what could come of this but what you did know was that you will be glad to see the back of the tension.
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Transcript of Edvin's radio interview
This is nowhere near perfect and not a word by word translation. BUt it took me over 2 hours so...
You owe me hahaha
Some discussions of season 3 and minor spoilers but nothing huge.
I: Edvin Ryding, it will soon be time for the third season of Young Royals, that's why we are here to talk about that among other things. I just have to start off- you arrive here blonde and with what looks like a racing jacket in orange, red, beige, lots of colours.
E: Yes, I like it, I bought it this weekend when I was in Paris and walked past a Second-Hand Store where I found it and thought it was cool. There’s something a bit cool with stark colours and logos and with the blond hair. I’m at a phase where I need to experiment a bit I think.
I: Yeah, because as Wilhelm in young royals you don’t, Wilhelm doesn’t want to stand out.
E: In particular it’s the way he’s been raised. He is told what to wear and how to style his hair, how long his hair is allowed to be. You should look the part so to speak. Not standing out from the norms which is what the royal family wants to portray.
I: In season 3 he says “I’m not allowed to cut my hair shorter”
E: Exactly, he’s trapped in those norms. I remember when I tried to map Wilhelm down before season 1 I wrote down some of his interests and dreams. As soon as I did it I thought it was beautiful that he had these dreams, thoughts and interests but then I realised that he won’t be allowed to realise them, they will always remain vague interests. I’ve always thought of him as into fashion that’s into style but he’s stuck in history, traditions and expectation which is prominent in his whole life. In many ways, that’s what the series is about. That's the reason why he’s not allowed to cut his his hair shorter.
I: Could you say he lives out through his love?
E: Yeah, that's where he actually can’t resist anymore. These traditions and expectations have kept him from realising who he wants to be but when moves to Hillerska he meets Simon and realises this is a person I can be myself with, a person I’m in love with, oh wow I’m in love with him. And that becomes a catalyst for other parts of his life where he wants to be free and test his wings.
I: And Simon can dress the way he wants and be more free.
E: Exactly, he comes from a background where he’s allowed to be who he is with his family but when he comes to Hillerska with all those traditions he is also influenced by that and now in season three they have chosen each other and are a couple officially after the speech in season two. ANd that changes Simon's life too. He’s suddenly in the spotlight for the first time and is faced with new dilemmas with how he wants to handle things
I: In preparation for season 1 you said you went through Wilhelm’s dreams, who it was and his limitations, the expectations on him and the rules he has to obey. What did this map look like? What was the big dream?
E: The big dream was for him to have room to breathe and be free. I remember that Rojda Sekezöz who was conceptual director for season 1 and 2 asked us to write a diary entry from the first week of Hillerska and I wrote that Wilhelm dreams of having a good relationship with his family and his mum, for her to be only his mum. He dreams of being allowed to let loose. When we first meet him in season 1 he is kindof a party prince and that’s a way for him I believe to express the frustrations inside him that he has carried in all seasons but now in season 3 he actually lives out- He dreams of being free meets SImon and realise it’s possible.
I: What about you Edvin? As an actor, have you changed in these seasons? It’s years of your life, You are young with alot going on but alot of things must have changed for you as an actor too?
E: Yeah, you are right, it’s been a very live changing experience with the reach of the series and the fact that we got to make 3 seasons, alot of things have happened in my life. You are trying to find your identity and you you are. I’m very thankful for these 3 years with this show and these people. I’ve learned more than I could ever dream of from directors and all the actors. It’s been a privilege to be around what I believe is Sweden’s future in this industry. There are so many young and ambitious people. We have been free and learned so much from each other and also become very close. That’s what I will miss the most I think.
I: Because this is the last season.
E: Yeah it is the last season.
I: Can you tell that you have developed as an actor. I think you can tell that you’ve gotten to know the environments, both as an actor and as the character. You are confident in some situations but also have pressure and expectations in others. Can you look at yourself from season 1 and then now in season 3 and think, “wow I’ve developed alot”
E: Yeah, I would say that. I look back at scenes from season 1 and think “wow I’m so young” and how clueless I was. I thought I had everything under control but I’ve learned so much up until now. It was the first time I was the lead role. For a very big project and I was very nervous but Rojda was very caring and safe so she guided me. She’s not a a part of the final season but I feel like when I started working with new director that I felt alot more confident and trusted myself more. And that will get you very far as an actor.
I: And you are meant to develop. It’s been three years. You are new at the school in the first season. Maybe it works out very well that you as an actor develop as the series does.
E: Yeah, we’ve been shooting it for three years but the story itself takes place during one school year. But I’ve also realised that what these characters are going through in a school year is what most people experience in 3. SO it works our very well.
I: This show has had exceptional reception. Netflix is talking about a worldwide success. You’ve already talked about this alot but how has it been for you recently? Howfrquently are fans in touch and how does it affect you?
E: It affects me alot. In a good way. It becomes quite abstract and it’s hard to grasp it when you are on social media and sees a number. It’s hard to realise that these are real people. BUt then we’ve had opportunities where we got to meet people. When we were at Kimmy Fallon we met people and Omar had his own show with a big audience from across the world that we got to meet. Just now in Paris we met people. When you get to meet these people and they tell you what the series have meant for them and that they have met people across the world thanks to the series it feels powerful. I’m doing this because I want to move people with this artform. And with this project we’ve managed to do that. It’s huge.
I: This will be with you your whole life, it’s a milestone.
E: Definitely!
I: BUt you were in Paris to talk about the show?
E: No, I was in Paris for Fashion Week. There’s alot of love on social media, of course unpleasant people too and I have periods in my life where I can handle it better and periods where I’m not as good and when people around me get affected it’s harder for me to handle but I’ve kept away from social media for a bit. Now that I went to Paris it was because i wanted to and I didn’t share it on social media but people found me there anyway and wanted to talk. It was beautiful
I: And the future? Do you get people contacting you from other countries asking you to be part of things?
E: If only it was that simple!
I: Not really, I’ve signed with an American agency in autumn 2021 and I’ve worked with them for a while now. That work continues and I talk about projects abroad continuously and they will come. I’m trying to not stress it.
I: Sounds smart.
E: I think so. To think sustainable. At the same time, the industry is very global and you can reach an international audience with stories from Sweden. It doesn’t hurt to do projects here that I want to do. At the end of the day it’s about the story, and portraying characters. It doesn’t matter where. It’s about working with talented people.
I: Are you rich now?
E: Yeah, I’m doing well money wise. Maths was never my subject so I struggle to be on top of that myself.
I: But with the third season, were there opportunities to negotiate?
E: Eh...I’m pleased with my economy. But of course, since this has been so successful you are in a better position to negotiate. But ti’s not about money for me. It’s never a factor in me saying yes or no to a project.
I: We talked a bit about the US and reaching out with a story. But when it comes to acting, how do you improve apart from working on things, you’ve worked alot, the abyss among others. BY the way do you remember your first project on Svt? Mannen under trappan? 3x1 hours you told me. Do you remember? How old were you?
E: I was five, I do remember parts of it. It was my parents that pitched me and handled everything. THey have always supported me in all my decisions. If I didn’t like it I didn’t have to do it. It’s supposed to be fun and feel right. I’m thankful for that and it carry it with me. Even if it was a dark story, it was a thriller, and Jonas Karlsson had schizophrenia, his character. I remember it s fun. There was a trampoline and we got candy when we worked at night. We played. We had a fantastic director that unfortunately is no longer with us, Daniel LInd Lagerlöf. He was great with us kids, it was me and Johanna Hintze that played the kids. I remember it as a fun experience.
I: It made you want to do more?
E: Yeah, evidently.
I: About improving, and your tools as an actor, do you work on that? BY working?
E: In a way you do...in recent years I’ve started to spend more time with the people I call the future of the industry. Actors from Royals...other co workers. I surround myself with people that are driven and ambitious and want to improve. It's a good thing because it makes me want to improve as well. You have drinks night and improvise scenes, it comes back to that naturally because everyone is so ambitious, You get inspiration right from the street. That woman for instance, she’s talking in her phone and she has 100 things going on in her life, she’s getting inside the car... things like that you pick up. You pick them up when you improvise and then you bring it along to set. It’s a craft which I love and die for. It’s amazing and you get obsessed with it.
I: So Friday night, you and your friends, drinks and improvisation.
E: Totally. You let loose. The people I surround myself are very driven and want to write their own things. Felicia Maxime comes to mind, we’ve done Young Royals, Avgrunden and A part of you together. Amazing actress, and also a script writer and director and very driven. She pushes me to let loose and improvise things. We can have coffee or drinks and brainstorm ideas and we can spend an hour in character and it’s wonderful.
I: Do you write anything?
E: I’ve gotten closer to that in recent ideas and have had ideas in my head that I write down. I recent year I’ve concretised them and written them down. It’s alot of fun but very hard. Then it’s good to have people around you that are experienced who I can learn from. I’m a person that puts alot of expectation on myself and can struggle to admit that I don’t know as much as the people around me and it’s been a process to get to a place where I can trust that I just need to learn more.
I: To be vulnerable?
E: Definitely. I feel like I’ve learned alot about that and that I can be vulnerable in private but in my working life it’s hard. It’s an industry with alot of expectation and pressure and you need to get picked. It’s not surprising that you try to be tough. But you get far by being vulnerable because it allows you to learn new things.
I: You have alot of fans. People write about you and Omar, it’s intense, you’ve shot alot and you've been in other things as well. Is it hard to separate the private person Edvin and the actor Edvin?
E: Yeah I’ve struggled with that. I think it’s because in season 1 alot of things happened and quite intensively and I had to create a character and as soon as Young Royals is brought up that character starts working. It was thar character that answered questions and used social media, all that. And they kinda merged which hit me just recently. It’s been hard to separate. It’s not surprising that you have these different persons. You have your business self and your social self but it’s important to separate for your ow mental health and I work on being able to do that.
I: Do you have a bit to go to get there?
E: Yeah I think so and that’s okay. I will be in different situations, that’s what I work with, to be different characters and I do with with alot investment. You give it your all and dives deeply. It will take a while but I need to accept that.
I: So it’s the interview person here today. Not the private person Edvin?
E: I think you’ve gotten a bit of a mix; I feel like. I’ve been quite open with some of my issues. Congrats.
I: I have to say I got a bit surprise, seeing you in that Jacket from Paris, the blond hair and the trousers, it feels like you’ve toughened up.
E. Maybe I have.That’s interesting... maybe I have.
I: It’s only based in the image I have of you. I’ve met you once or so before.
E: I’m in a period of my life where I... I’ve also grown up on set and it made me grow up faster than many other people my age and now I’m in a period of my life where I experiment and I’m the same vulnerable person on the inside and I’m very adamant about being open about my feelings and I think it's very important but I experiment more when it comes to the looks.
They rambled about the weather at the end but I didn't include it.
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Vernon had gotten a lot of things wrong in your relationship, but he didn't realise any of that until you were gone.
You'd never been insecure in a relationship but then again Vernon was the first idol you'd dated.
You were an idol yourself from the group G-(I)dle and had been for 3 years before you and Vernon got together. You knew how the industry worked but it didn't make it any easier when rumours started going viral that Vernon was dating a girl who wasn't you. The claims were he was dating Yeri of Red Velvet and although the article wasn't official it was getting around the Internet. The thing that bothered you most about it, was Vernon never messaged you about it.
You'd both been busy with work recently and hadn't seen each other in nearly 2 weeks. You only just got back from touring and Vernon had his new song to promote. You called and texted but not as frequently as usual. All of this would've excused him not texting you but this story was big! It was trending and you found it weird he didn't think to talk to you about it. It was made worse by the fact Vernon and Yeri were friends and you knew there had been some history there. You trusted that was all far in the past so didn't think the rumours were true but part of you wondered what they'd been doing for people to assume they were dating. It could've been innocent and they were merely together but you had no idea because Vernon had never explained it to you.
So you found yourself following the trend without meaning to and Soyeon caught you. "You're not paying attention to any of that crap are you?" she asked. You tried to hide your phone and then sighed "I just want to see what made them think that". "But you're dating Vernon so you know it's not true". You frowned "see we never actually made it official". "Wait what?" Yuqi asked and you sighed "he never asked me to be his girlfriend in those words, we just became what we are so technically we're not even anything". Minnie shook her head "but you are dating, just because he didn't ask you doesn't mean anything". "Doesn't it?" you asked and Soojin frowned "but this is Vernon. We all know he considers you his girlfriend. What's he said about this scandal". "Nothing" you said and that made them all pause. "Right?" you cried "I know he's been busy but don't I deserve a reassuring text or something?". Your members nodded "totally, have you tried messaging him?" Shuhua asked. "But why should she have to message him?" Yuqi replied and the others shrugged. "You reassure your partner even if it's trivial. How doesn't he get that?". "But you said Vernon's a little...distant anyway isn't he?" Minnie asked and you nodded.
You and Vernon were very different people and in some ways that worked very well. You were complete opposites and helped the other step out of their comfort zone. You helped Vernon communicate and express himself more and Vernon helped you become more thoughtful and independent. However, there were times like today when your base expectations weren't being met.
In the end, you decided not to do anything. You wanted to wait and see how long it took Vernon to say something and 2 days later he still hadn't texted you. On the 3rd day, he sent you a funny cat video and you realised him telling you about the scandal wasn't even on his radar so you got the opinion of a male friend to see if it was a gender thing.
Jongho from Ateez had been a close friend of yours for years and again like you and Vernon the two of you were opposites but it worked. You'd kind of forced Jongho to be your friend initially but now he liked it. You rang him up and he picked up quickly "Hey Y/n what's up?". "So I have a hypothetical to run by you". "Oh goodie!" Jongho said sarcastically and you laughed "so imagine you're dating a girl and a dating rumour about you comes out. Would you text your girlfriend about it?". Jongho paused "well I mean surely she knows it's fake if she's my girlfriend". "So you wouldn't mention it at all?" you asked and Jongho was quiet again "no I'd probably mention it just to reassure her it was bullshit. I'd at least bring it up in person and say how annoying it was or make a joke out of it". You nodded "and what if the girl wasn't your girlfriend. You'd been casually together for a little while". "Oh then I'd definitely bring it up because she might think I'm seeing both of them!". "Thank you!" you cried and Jongho laughed. "Vernon?" he asked and you nodded "he's not contacted me since his rumour came out". "But you're dating". "See we're not officially and if I'm honest I did check the articles to see what the photos of the two of them were". "So you don't trust him?" Jongho asked and you shook your head "I do but sometimes I just feel so...unsure in our relationship. He's not very good at communicating and rarely expresses how he feels. I didn't know he actually fancied me until our 4th date when he told me, he's that good at hiding how he feels and sometimes I just feel like I'm too demanding. That I'm too clingy and asking too much of him so I don't tend to share how I feel". Jongho was quiet "Y/n that's not good. You should never feel like you're bothering your partner when you're asking for something you need". "I know but there's no malice on Vernon's side! He's the sweetest the times when I have mentioned things to him I just don't want to have to do it for everything". Jongho nodded "you want some of the things to be instinctive so you're not constantly reminding him". "Exactly!" you agreed and Jongho sighed "well I don't know what to advise. How long have you been together?". "6 months" and Jongho nodded "out of the honeymoon period. From what I hear a lot of couples have problems then so you're not alone". "But how do I know if it's something we can overcome or an incompatibility?". Jongho was quiet for ages and then sighed "I have no idea".
Then to make things more confusing Vernon texted you one day asking if you were free and if he could come over. You told him you had a break from the tour for the next few days and he appeared on your doorstep 24 hours later. The minute you saw him standing there all the emotions you felt for him and all the fondness hit you. You opened the door and he shot you a smile "there she is" and hugged you tightly picking you up slightly. You blushed and squealed as he lifted you. "It's been way too long" Vernon said still not letting you go and you nodded "too long, but how's your promoting going?". "We're finishing tomorrow and I can't wait but forget that tell me about your tour!".
Once you'd caught up with one another Vernon pulled you into his arms again. "I missed you so much" Vernon said pressing a kiss to your temple and resting his forehead against yours. "You did?" you asked and he chuckled "of course I did! I always miss you". "Oh" you said and Vernon chuckled again "did you think I just don't miss you when you're away touring". "I don't know, maybe" you said and Vernon looked at you, clearly confused why you might think that. "Really?" he asked moving back so he could see you and you looked down "no of course not I..." and you trailed off. "Y/n?" Vernon asked and you looked at him "sorry, I'm just tired". "Are you sure?" he asked sensing something was up but you hated confrontation of any form so just nodded folding into his chest. You pushed your feelings away and smiled at him "I'm fine". Vernon nodded "okay then" and wrapped his arms around you again. Wrapped up together you could almost pretend it was fine but when Vernon left the next day you felt heavy all over again.
You carried on as normal, ignoring any doubts you had and just as the rumours about Vernon and Yeri died down a blast from the past came back. Vernon's ex Eunji used to work for Pledis as a stylist but had moved to KQ Entertainment when they broke up. Eunji hated you as, unknown to you, Vernon broke up with her so he could ask you out. She'd frequently messaged Vernon asking to get back together and had even sent you some horrible texts too and later claimed she was drunk. Jongho knew of her and she knew the two of you were friends so largely avoided him and his members which suited Jongho fine. He updated you on anything you needed to know about her and sometimes told you more than your own boyfriend.
You didn't hear about the Ateez x Seventeen collaboration until Jongho mentioned it. When it was clear you had no knowledge of it Jongho told you that Eunji was working on the project...but Vernon forgot to mention that to you. You were angry and when you next saw Vernon didn't hesitate to bring it up.
"Why didn't you tell me you were doing a collaboration with Ateez?" you asked and Vernon paused. He clearly got what you meant by the look on his face. "Because I didn't know if she'd be there or not". "You knew she still works for them right?" you asked and he nodded "Yeah...". "And she was there?" you asked wanting to hear it from himself and he signed "yeah but it's not a big deal I didn't speak to her. Well not about anything other than work". You shook your head in disbelief and Vernon sighed "I have to be professional with her Y/n I can't ignore her!". "I'm not asking you to I just wish you would've told me. You not telling me makes me feel like you're hiding something". "But I'm not. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd worry. Things upset you sometimes and I don't want to hurt you so I don't tell you them" he said and that was the worst thing he could've possibly said.
"You don't tell me?" you asked "so you wondered if to tell me this and you decided not to?". "Yes..." Vernon said cautiously as if trying to detect a trap. "I did it to protect you. I always try and protect you". Your worst fears were coming true. Vernon was not telling things and keeping them from you because he thought you were emotional and overreacted. The annoying thing is you didn't want to react now because you thought it would prove him right but had no idea what else to do. You felt so shit and just wanted to cry. You didn't speak trying not to cry and Vernon sighed "please don't be mad...you know how much I care about you". Something about those words and how he was looking at you with those big brown eyes made you explode.
"No I don't!" you cried "because you hardly ever let me in! There's no regular communication or affirmation. I'm not needy but I would like you to tell me how you feel more than once every few months or when I leave the country. I just want you to be upfront with your emotions for me. I always feel bad asking you to adjust and to hear you've been keeping things from me just makes me feel so tired. All I want is honesty and good communication" you said starting to get sad "I mean I don't even know if we're dating". "What?" Vernon asked "Y/n come on you know I'm your boyfriend". "Do I? I never asked you and you never asked me. It just happened and sometimes I have no clue what we are. When I haven't heard from you in 2 weeks I don't know if we're dating or intermittent. I have no idea whether I'm coming or going Vernon and it's horrible!" you cried tears finally leaking down your face and Vernon paused. He didn't like emotion, especially crying because he never knew what to do and you could see the panic on his face which made you cry even more because if he knew you, he'd know all you needed was a hug. Instead, he watched you before rushing to grab you a tissue partially so he could leave the room.
Once you'd calmed down you spoke first because Vernon hadn't spoken in ages and it didn't seem he would be any time soon. "I think I need to go home". Vernon nodded "okay I'll walk you to your car...should I call you tomorrow or something?". You took in a breath and shook your head "I don't know". Vernon nodded "okay" and didn't ask anything more. You reached your car and you looked at him "are you happy Vernon?". "With us?" he asked "yes and I thought you were. I guess I didn't realise how much was wrong". You shook your head "I just don't know if we're too different. If that's our problem". Vernon frowned "I don't think we're that different" but he didn't sound sure at all. "We're polars Vernon and I don't know if I'm fighting a losing battle". "So what do you want to do?" he asked and you shook your head "I don't know but I know if I say I don't know and we walk away it won't be resolved for another 2 weeks and I can't have that...so I think we should just break up".
Vernon's eyes widened "you don't want to work on it? Try and fix it". "I want to but I don't feel like I have the energy...I can't escape the feeling it shouldn't be this hard and I can't keep telling you how to act. I just can't...". Vernon nodded "okay then. I don't want to cause you any stress so we can break up if that will make you feel better". You shook your head wondering how he could even say that but atleast felt like for once you were making the mature decision and not burying your head in the sand. "Okay, goodnight Vernon" and you left.
You of course felt awful following the breakup. No matter how many times you told yourself this was the mature thing to do, to call quits on a relationship that wasn't working, you still missed Vernon. You kept thinking about all the things he did that you loved and wondered if you'd been too hasty or selfish. Your members all comforted you and tried to shield you from anything they could but one-day Soojin came into your room and you could tell from the look on her face she had something bad to tell you. Soojin wasn't one to beat around the bush so she took your hand and told you. "Y/n just so you know before anyone else says it, tonight at the club I saw Vernon leaving with Eunji".
You'd been expecting it but it was still a blow. You'd been broken up just over a month now and wondered how long this had been happening. You trust Vernon hadn't been cheating on you but technically he could've gone to Eunji the night of your breakup and that would've been fine but you didn't know if Vernon was that type of person.
He wasn't.
Vernon laid in bed with Eunji and everything just felt wrong. He hadn't planned on this at all and all his members had been cautious when he said he wanted to come out tonight and he got why. He'd been emotional since the breakup and alcohol typically did not help with that. It didn't, drunk Vernon just missed you more and when he saw Eunji part of him just wanted what was familiar once more but familiar didn't mean good.
Of course, in the moment things had felt good enough and he'd wanted to leave with her, but now with the alcohol leaving his system and his brain returning he just felt so certain this wasn't right. He supposed it could be because this was the first girl he'd been with since you and so it was simply different not bad but that didn't feel right after.
"What are you thinking about?" Eunji asked resting her hands on his chest and Vernon tried not to tense. "Nothing" he said but it was pretty clear what he was thinking about or more accurately who. "It's okay you know" Eunji said "that she's still on your mind". "It is?" Vernon asked and she nodded "It's only been a month it'll get easier and easier and she'll become a distant memory". Vernon didn't even wonder how she'd know the time since you'd broken up. He was too focused on what Eunji saying you'd become a distant memory. He felt himself resisting it although he knew that was the goal. He was meant to stop thinking of you but the truth was he didn't want to. "And a great way to speed up the process is to keep doing things to distract you" Eunji said kissing his neck "so want me to distract you?". Vernon shook his head "I'm really tired so I think I'm just going to sleep". "Oh okay" Eunji said and she settled into his arms. Vernon didn't want to hug her but also couldn't see how he'd get out of it so he just closed his eyes and waited a long enough amount of time to switch her out of them.
You saw Vernon the following week at an award show and your mind immediately went to Eunji. Luckily you spotted Vernon before he saw you and knew exactly where not to look but Vernon didn't. He looked right at you and froze. He hadn't seen you in what felt like ages and he quickly tried to analyse everything about you to see if you'd been struggling as much as he had. Your hair was different which made sense as Vernon recalled you saying you couldn't wait to dye it. Your members were sat all around you like a fortress and you either hadn't noticed him or were purposefully not looking at him but Vernon couldn't seem to stop staring at you. The others noticed and Seungkwan knocked his leg "stop it, youre being too obvious". Vernon nodded and stared at his feet but he felt just shit. He wanted you to look at him to prove you atleast remembered he existed. That you'd been struggling too but all night you didn't even glance in his direction.
Later on at the afterparty Vernon saw your group pass Ateez and you stopped to chat to them. Vernon knew you were friends with Jongho and could see all the guys were bigging you up, complimenting your outfit. He watched Wooyoung twirl you and felt a sharp jolt run through him. "Hey relax" Scoups said beside him "ease up on the glass" and he realised he'd been gripping it so tight his knuckles were white. He set it down and sighed "I need some air" and stood up. "Want anyone to come with you?" Dino asked but he shook his head.
On the way back in he spotted Jongho and the boy saw him too. They were standing across from each other and as Jongho went to walk away Vernon called his name and hurried after him "Hey Jongho wait". Jongho turned and looked at Vernon "what?" he asked, his tone ice cold. "I was just wondering how Y/n is?". Jongho frowned "why would I tell you?'. "Look I know we broke up but I still care about her and want to make sure she's okay". Jongho shook his head "I'm not telling you anything" and turned to walk away but Vernon grabbed his arm "I'm not letting you leave until you answer my question". Jongho looked at Vernon's hand on him and back-up to Vernon. "Y/n doesn't owe you anything and you lost the privilege to know things about her so I'm not telling you anything. Now let go of me before I make you". Vernon suddenly realised Jongho was a lot stronger than him and let go "I'm sorry I just...I keep thinking about her and I just want to know she's okay". "You care so much about her huh?" Jongho asked "funny I thought your priority was Eunji nowadays" and he walked away.
Vernon's world came crashing down as he realised you knew about Eunji. He'd purposefully sworn her to secrecy to avoid this getting out but somehow Jongho knew and so you must know too. Vernon's mind was spinning and this was a disaster. He took out his phone and was texting you when Scoups and Seungkwan appeared "Vernon what happened?". "She knows about Eunji" he said "I have to tell her what happened". "Vernon calm down, you don't need to text Y/n right this second". "I do" Vernon said getting annoyed "she has to know...she has to!" When he dropped his phone and swore loudly. Seungkwan grabbed it before he could and Vernon held his hand out for it but Seungkwan didn't pass it to him. "Give me my phone" Vernon said but Seungkwan shook his head "friends don't let friends drunk text". "Seungkwan give me my phone!" Vernon yelled squaring up to him but Scoups got in between them "Hey, first you try and fight Jongho and now Seungkwan? Outside now!" and he led the younger boy out of the club. Vernon sat down on the curb and put his head in his hands. He sobbed and sobbed while Scoups patted his back.
Jongho called you the next morning and told you everything that happened. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want him taking up any space in your head but Wooyoung thought I should let you know". You nodded "yeah thanks for telling me. So he was pretty emotional huh?". Jongho nodded "he was a mess Y/n, he's really regretting the breakup'. You shook your head "but he's with Eunji". "He was really shaken when I said that too" Jongho said "he had no idea you knew". "He should've figured I'd have guessed" you said unimpressed. Jongho nodded "there's a lot of things Vernon should've done".
The next day Vernon was thinking that same thought. He'd had a terrible night and the thing that bothered him most was he had no idea how you knew about Eunji. They'd only hooked up once and he'd asked her to keep it quiet. His members wouldn't have told anyone so the only person who could've was her. So he called her and asked.
"Have you told anyone that we hooked up again?" he asked and there was silence. "Eunji?" he asked and she finally replied "a few people but what does it matter?". "What does it matter?" he cried "I didn't want anyone to know and guess who does? Y/n!". "Why do you care you're not together" she tried again and Vernon shrugged "so? I still don't want her to know I've slept with another girl". "I won't be your dirty little secret Vernon so if you want this to continue you need to let me tell who I want" Eunji said. "Okay it's over" Vernon replied and she paused "wait I won't tell anyone else". "It doesn't matter I don't want this to continue, it was a mistake anyway". "She doesn't want you anymore!" Eunji cried "there's no way she'll take you back, especially after this so think about what you're doing here Vernon. There's no need to throw this away from her". "It's not just for her it's for me. Goodbye Eunji" and Vernon hung up the phone, his hands shaking so much he dropped it the second he pressed the red button.
Scoups heard him on the phone and knocked "hey can Seungkwan and I come in?" and Vernon nodded. "I didn't realise you were awake" Scoups began "who was that on the phone?". "Eunji, she told people about us and I think she did it on purpose". Scoups nodded "she would've been my first guess" and Vernon sighed "I can't believe I went back to her. It's over now but she's right, it was unlikely Y/n wouldn't take me back before but now it's hopeless!". "No it's not!" Scoups said and Seungkwan who had also been listening outside burst in. "Vernon you need to stop this!" he cried and Vernon looked at him "Seungkwan I'm so sorry for last night I just feel so sad and angry all the time" he said tearing up and Scoups froze because Vernon never cried. Last night he'd been drunk so he let it pass but he'd never seen sober Vernon cry. Seungkwan was less taken aback though.
"Vernon you're not going to win Y/n back by sitting here regretting things, you need to be proactive!" Seungkwan said and Vernon looked at him "what do you mean? There's no way I'm winning Y/n back ever!". "You don't know that!" Seungkwan cried "look the whole reason you broke up was because Y/n didn't think you'd fight for the relationship and look! You're proving her right". Vernon knew Seungkwan was right but still felt deflated "so what do I do?". Seungkwan looked to Scoups wondering how much clearer he could make it. "Fight!" Scoups cried and Seungkwan nodded "show Y/n you care enough about her to make things right. If you want her, tell her you're not going to rest until she knows how much you care about her. At the very least try explaining things to her!" Seungkwan cried and Vernon frowned "but how? She won't speak to me". "Has she blocked your number?" Scoups asked and Vernon paused "I'm not sure, I haven't tried contacting her since we broke up". Both boys sighed "well let's start there then!" Seungkwan said "let's send a text first so it's not as scary as calling and we'll go from there".
You went to sleep late because Jongho insisted on staying up with you to watch the first Harry Potter because he knew they made you feel happy. So you woke up late as a consequence and heard your phone buzz. You reached out for it figuring it would be Jongho or Soyeon when you saw the name and gasped. You dropped the phone right on your face and cursed at the pain. By the time you recovered the ringing had stopped and you waited anxiously to see if Vernon would leave a voicemail...he did.
"Hey, I was really hoping we could talk. After last night some things have become really clear and I wanted to clear up the rumour about Eunji. Something did happen between us but she exaggerated and it's over. If nothing else I just want to apologise to you. So please let me know if we can text, call, meet...anything is fine I just need to speak to you".
Vernon's message shocked you for several reasons. You understood from what Jongho had said that he was upset but figured it was because he'd been caught, to hear he'd ended things with Eunji surprised you. Not to mention Vernon had texted you, of his own volition, asking to talk to you and have a proper adult conversation. You couldn't recall Vernon ever making this effort when you were dating and were pleasantly surprised. So that was probably why you acted so spontaneously and after discussing it with the girls decided to agree with Vernon's request.
Soojin squeezed your hand as you pressed the call button. It rang 3 times before Vernon picked it up "Y/n?". "It's me" you said and he gasped "oh thank god! Y/n thank you so much for calling you! I really need to talk to you". You nodded "okay so talk".
You were curious to hear what he would say but were still hurt by him and weren't just going to roll over. Vernon nodded "yeah I asked you if we could talk so yeah of course. Y/n firstly Eunji, we slept together once on the 11th of November and I regretted it instantly. It was after we broke up and I was a wreck but I thought going out drinking would make me feel better. It didn't. I watched the clock reach the time when we ended it and I just felt like such a loser. I knew I'd let you down and that I'd lost someone amazing. I hated myself but wasn't admitting that so I pretended I was fine but nothing felt right with Eunji and I felt even worse after it. I knew it was over then and asked Eunji not to tell anyone about it but she did and I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to find out about it". "Well it wasn't just Eunji who spread it. Soojin saw you leave the club together so you weren't exactly trying to hide it afterwards". Vernon nodded "you know what you're right. I did a stupid thing that hurt you and I'm sorry. There's no excuses".
Vernon was never usually so honest so you nodded "okay...I can't say all is forgiven but thank you for saying that. Was there anything else you wanted to say?". Vernon nodded "yeah so much but the best way I can think to express is it Y/n I'm so sorry I didn't show up for you or fight for us. I really was happy with you and care for you so much". "Vernon..." you said but he frowned "can I please just say this? I need to". "OKay" you said and he carried on. "I know I didn't fight for us before but I am going to fight for us now. I'm going to fight to show you how much I care about you and prove to you our relationship is worth saving". "Vernon I don't know if we can ever get back there" you said "there was so much wrong and I don't trust you". "Well I'll start there then, I'm going to show you that you can trust me and if we're lucky enough to get back there I'll show you how committed I am to fixing all those things. I can't just let you go Y/n...not without trying". You paused because that was what you'd always wanted to hear and Soojin noticed you get teary. She squeezed your hand again and you took a deep breath. "I can't lie that makes me happy" you said "but also scared. I won't ice you out Vernon but I also won't come running back to you. There's a lot that needs to change". Vernon nodded "of course and thank you so much for letting me try. I won't let you down Y/n!" he said and you nodded "okay Vernon" and hung up.
This time it was your hands that wouldn't stop shaking. "So how did it go?" Sojin asked and you paused "he says he's not giving up on us" and she smiled "that's pretty big for him right?". You nodded "let's just see if he lives up to it".
You honestly had no idea what to expect from Vernon's promise. You'd both left things undefined so you supposed Vernon could call you in a week's time or wave to you at an award show and think that was it...but he didn't.
To start with you got regular texts from Vernon in the morning and night but they weren't just the usual "good morning" texts. In each text, he would tell you something you used to do for him that he appreciated and as the days went by you were intrigued to see if he suddenly stopped or change themes but he didn't. He just kept coming up with more. It was a kind gesture that didn't demand anything of you and you appreciated it as the first step.
So the two of you started texting, Vernon would ask how your day was going and remember when you had a difficult day coming up and wish you luck. He was attentive, patient and supportive. So much so, 3 weeks later when Vernon tentatively mentioned meeting up after work for a coffee you agreed.
Typically to any date Vernon was late and would always have some sort of excuse. When you walked to the coffee shop and saw he wasn't outside you sighed. You waited until the time and then texted him asking if he was far. "I'm already here" he replied and you looked around confused when you saw him waving to you from inside. "I got here early and thought I'd wait inside but I should've told you I'm sorry" Vernon said anxiously but you just smiled "you got here early?". He nodded "of course, you're my priority Y/n and that will never change". You blushed and searched for something to change the conversation. "I should go get a drink" you said when Vernon shook his head "don't worry about that, chai with almond milk right?". You nodded "yeah but why?" when you saw him nod to the barista and who started making you your drink. "Sit he'll bring it over". "You remembered my drink?" you asked "and ordered for me?". "Why not?" Vernon asked "if I can make your day any better then I'll do that". You blushed and with nothing else to distract you just smiled.
You didn't want to get ahead of yourself but this date felt differently. It wasn't just you that did all the talking which usually happened on often because Vernon was too tired. Instead, Vernon talked a lot. He was very open with you about the things he was struggling with at the moment and how his appetite wasn't great. You knew you were probably the reason he looked a little skinnier lately and the second you hinted to that Vernon shook his head. "Don't be silly it's not you, our breakup wasn't your fault". "I mean but I ended it" you argued and Vernon shrugged "so? I did things to make you end it with time and I didn't fight it so it's my own fault. Don't blame yourself for telling me I needed to do better, I actually want to thank you for it". "You do?" you asked and Vernon nodded "yeah as much as it makes me nervous I needed to change. I wasn't fully living and was taking things for granted. You've helped open my eyes and the guys have all commented on the change in me. So no matter what thank you". You shook your head "I...you're welcome?" and Vernon chuckled. You forgot how much you missed the sound of his voice.
After that, you met up with Vernon regularly once a week. They didn't start off as dates but definitely got more light-hearted and date-like. Two weeks later after a restaurant date, you held Vernon's hand and he shot you a beautiful smile. A week after that you linked arms as you walked through the park and now Vernon would put his arm around whenever you sat down. Vernon was a lot more careful with you, in that he was aware of where you were at all times and was intuned to you. He'd move to face you without even thinking and would always take the seat to shade or protect you. You seemed to move in sync and you realised it was because it wasn't just you paying attention to him, he was paying attention to you too!
When you got home you were really happy and the girls noticed.
"What's got you so smiley?" Shuhua asked and you blushed making the girls all pay extra attention. "I bet it's Vernon!" Miyeon said in a sing-song voice and your further blush confirmed it. "Are things still going well?" Soyeon asked and you nodded "he's like a different person! Even when he first started dating he didn't behave like this and it makes me really happy". "That's so sweet" Minnie commented but Yuqi looked at you carefully "so what's wrong?". You sighed "well I don't know if I can trust him. Things are really great now but that doesn't erase everything that happened and he is still the same person deep down with the potential to do the same thing. I want to forgive him and try again but I just don't know if that's wise" you finished with a sigh looking down. The girls exchanged looks, saw they were all in agreement and turned to you.
"Y/n" Soojin said and you looked at her "what?". "I think you should take Vernon back?". "Really?" you asked and she nodded as did the other girls. "But what if he goes back to how he was? What if I look like a fool?". "Well I doubt that will happen" Soyeon said "for one thing you said he was never like this even when you first got back together so there's no reason for you to think he would decline. I think he really has changed. "He's proven himself" Minnie said "he's tried hard and shown he cares about you". "Yeah plus you can always dump his ass if he slips up again, trust me he'll feel more foolish than you" Yuqi said and that made you smile. So with the girls' support, you nodded.
The next time you saw Vernon you decided to tell him your decision but you knew you'd be nervous the whole date so instead you asked him to come to your first and all the girls made sure they were out. Vernon looked nervous when you opened the door and you got that. From your message, he probably worked out this wasn't a casual social call. Still, he gave you a smile when you opened the door and complimented your outfit. "Thank you, you look nice too" you replied and led him into your living room.
Once there you gestured for him to sit and took a seat across from him. "So I just wanted to have a clarifying talk because I know things have changed but we've not verbalised that". Vernon nodded "of course, I've really enjoyed how things have been doing by the way". "Me too" you nodded "but I just have one worry, that this will fade. I love all the care and attention but what if a month down the line things go back to how they were?" you asked Vernon. Vernon nodded "I know and I've considered this before. There's no physical proof I can give you other than my word. Y/n losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me so I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen again. Not just that, you deserve way better than how I was treating you before and I'm ashamed of how I was acting. So I will never treat you like that again because I don't want to lose you but also because you deserve to be treated better. I want to cherish you Y/n because I'm lucky to have you and you bring so much into my life...I like you a lot Y/n" Vernon finished blushing but he never looked away from your eye. Not even for a second and you nodded.
"I like you too and I'm ready to try again" you replied.
Vernon's eyes lit up "you are? You're taking me back?" he asked and you nodded. "Y/n this is...I don't even have words!" he cried and dove on you making you laugh as he hugged you. He held you tightly, laughing too "thank you so much I love you" and then he froze "sorry I shouldn't have said that". "It's okay" you said "I'm not quite ready to say it back but thank you". Vernon nodded "no thank you" and he got to do something he never thought he'd be able to again.
He got to kiss you.
#vernon#vernon fic#vernon x reader#vernon x y/n#vernon x you#vernon x female reader#vernon angst#vernon svt#vernon seventeen#svt#svt fic#svt imagine#svt angst#svt x reader#seventeen fic#seventeen imagine#seventeen xreader#svt vernon#seventeen vernon#vernon seventeen imagine#vernon seventeen fic#seventeen vernon fic#seventeen vernon imagine#kpop#kpop fic#kpop vernon
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EVEN WHEN THE LEARNING'S DONE AND NOTHING'S NEW !
‹ . housewardens ›
· scenario drabbles
⇝moments that happened in your married life.
[ n: a little something to get myself out of a writers block. not proofread and not very confident of my writing bcs ahaha i havent written in a hot minute + no motivation. this took me almost a week to finish but i still hope u guys enjoy ! ilyyyy ]
⑇
- - - → tw. children (does that count as a tw?????? idk man kids jumpscare in kalim's part)
⑇
riddle rosehearts ‹ heartslabyul ›
it wasn't rare for riddle to be working so late. he was a busy man and lived up to his parents' legacy of being the best of the best. you were aware of this when you said yes to his proposal to spend a life with him forever but as his spouse, it pains you to see him overwork himself sometimes. it wasn't the first time you woke from your quiet slumber at 2 in the morning to an empty space beside you. your feet padded across the cold marble floor through the hallway adorned with photographs gilded in gold of you and him that have been taken over the years. a soft knock at the mahogany doors to his study and a quiet response from the other side permitting you to come in. the tea on the tray you carried made riddle sigh with relief, the tension in his body seemingly fading away. he had a soft smile on his face as he brought the teacup to his lips.
“come to bed, riddle. it's so late.” you urge him gently as you made yourself comfortable on one of the chair on the other side of his desk.
he gave you weary look, “i'm not sure i can yet, my love. there's still so much work to do.”
you let out a soft sigh, “i figured as much.” you whispered, standing up and walking around the desk to give him a soft kiss on the lips, “i'll be heading back to sleep then.” you inform him and quietly made your way back to the room.
it wasn't rare for riddle to be working so late. he was a busy man who lived up to his parents' legacy of being the best of the best. it was rare, however, for him to softly close the bedroom door behind him leaving his study and his paperwork unfinished to slip under the covers and wrap his arms around your form.
“what made you change your mind?” you asked, a loving hand on his cheek.
“you did,” he said with a sheepish smile on his face, “you always do.”
⑇
leona kingscholar ‹ savanaclaw ›
when you choose to accept a prince's request for your hand hand marriage, you're not only accepting him as a person, you're also accepting the responsibility that comes with becoming royalty. since the day you and leona exchanged your vows, for better or for worse and till death do you part, the title of royal has been embedded onto your name and cemented into sunset savannah's history for all eternity. what you do and say will be seen, heard and talked about by the public. it's your duty to be present, not just for your husband the royal family, but for yourself as well.
so you do your part. you attend the balls, you speak out on important issues that need attention. you smile, you wave, conversing with other country's political leaders and powerful people. you learn to adapt and navigate through the life of a royalty one step at a time. you were doing your best but sometimes it felt like it wasn't enough. and that's when he comes in to yank an ipad out of your hands and snap you out of your trance. he says dwelling on ridiculous articles and getting yourself all affected negatively by it doesn't do anyone any good. that's when he wipes the frustrated hot tears from your cheeks as he sits beside you on the bed, a softer tone now etched in his tone when he spoke, “i know it isn't easy.”
you sniffle in response, your voice shaky as you spoke in uneven breaths, “i'm trying so hard,” a sob, “why does it always feel like i'm always running short? why am i sometimes being treated like i don't know what's happening?”
leona's tail flicks, “did the articles tell you that? or was it the servants whispering in the halls? the people in the ballrooms?” he places a hand on your chin and gently makes you look at him, “listen, i don't know what you overheard or read—but the fact that you undermine your own achievements for the validation of other people is annoying the shit out of me.”
his eyes bore into you as his hands squeezed yours, “you're not royalty from birth, but the amount of things you were willing to change—willing to do just so you can be with me still constantly leaves me in awe. the politics, the royal etiquette and other pointless bullshit takes years to master. you're almost halfway through the progress bar despite being so new to it all.” leona places his forehead against yours, “even if the whole world is against you, i'll be by your side. i've never been more proud to have you as my partner. fuck everyone else.”
when you choose to accept a prince's request for your hand hand marriage, you're not only accepting him as a person, you're also accepting the responsibility that comes with becoming royalty. since the day you and leona exchanged your vows, for better or for worse. you've done all of this just for him. you would keep doing it just for him because know he'd kidnap every star in he sky if you asked him to. you can cry, you can scream, you can be angry—but he's always there and always will be and till death do you part.
you let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding in the entire time. and with a raspy voice and a genuine smile, you whisper back.
“fuck everyone else.”
⑇
azul ashengrotto ‹ octavinelle ›
homesickness is something you've dealt with the first time you were practically punted over to this twisted world you now reside in. but over time, you realize that this world was always more comfortable for you. it became home whenever you were in the arms of your lover. you found comfort in azul's arms so gentle and tender around you—as if you were the rarest and most fragile seashell he picked up from the depths of his home in the sea. eventually, you stopped thinking of the life you've left behind. you were happy here and that's what mattered.
likewise, he found his home in your arms around his neck in a warm embrace like the first rays of the sun just as the winter season was coming to an end. but unlike you, azul had access to his home. he just never had much opportunity to come back to visit. his life with you on land was what you both collectively decided on. a house near the beach, but nowhere near where his home is at. just enough to breathe in the salt air and the cool embrace of the ocean breeze on his skin. and on more than one occasion, you've seen him let the waves wash over his feet after he'd come back from work. his shoes in his hands as he mindlessly watched the sun set over the horizon.
“a penny for your thoughts?” your hand subconsciously finding its way to his, fingers interlocking together and fitting together perfectly.
“just thinking of the coral sea.”
“i've told you last time we should go to visit again.”
azul let out a sigh and you knew why he didn't like going back to the coral sea—to several memories of his past littered across every corner of the place. he looked at you wearily, the dimming orange beams of the sun coated his face with a lovely hue that made him look almost ethereal and melancholic.
“it's hard going back there sometimes,” he admitted, his head hung, “it took a lot for me to take you back there... to show you everything i've been running away from.”
“and i love every part of it. every part of you, azul.”
you squeeze his hand gently, “it's never always sunshine and calm seas. and i'm always here to embrace you when storms come.”
homesickness is something azul's never really dealt with in the years he's been away from sea. he was happy to be out of there and start anew—but he didn't have a home. no, he was always relying on himself. but over time, he realized that this world was always more comfortable with you. it became home whenever he was your arms, his lover. you were his new home. and no matter where he would end up, he always finds himself running home to you.
⑇
kalim al-asim ‹ scarabia ›
“baba's here!” was exclaimed by an energetic boy popping out from the blanket fort you all built together. giggles bounced around the walls as little pairs of feet padded along the floor. the children both ran to their father, the younger one trying her best not to trip and fall on her way there. kalim, who was still in conversation with jamil as he entered the room, had been cut off by the squeals and giggles of the children running to his embrace.
“ya malayiki! 'abi saeid jidana liruyatik maratan 'ukhraa!” (oh, my angels! dad's so happy to see you again!) your husband exclaimed excitedly, wasting no time kneeling to catch their warm embraces in full, “have you two been good?” he asked, lifting your daughter up in his arms earning an excited giggle from her and taking your son's hand in his free one before standing back up, “naeam ya 'baba!” (yes daddy!), your little girl giggled excitedly, “we built a house!” she squealed, pointing at the blanket fort. it was quite a big fort filled with small fairy lights and plenty of pillows and maybe a few snacks littered here and there from their 'construction break'. you three had spent hours making ‘the biggest house for baba’ for when he would get back and the kids are evidently very proud of the outcome of their hard work.
“(maman/baba etc.) said we could sleep here tonight!” the little boy chimed in, shaking his dad's hand to catch his attention. kalim could only grin widely at this, “well,” he started, “since you both worked so hard building the house, i say we all sleep here tonight!” the gasps from the kids and the happy cheers that followed indicated the joy they felt. he's always been a natural with them and you always adored him with children. it's just that he can get quite busy sometimes, which even he has told you about how saddened he is whenever he's apart from his family. and so whenever he has time, you can be sure every second is devoted to you and the kids. his whole heart is with you, after all. always has been since the moment he laid eyes on you all those years ago.
“alright kids,” he said, placing a kiss on your daughter's cheek and squeezing your son's hand gently, “jamil will take you to get you cleaned and ready for bed, okay?” they both grinned in response, “okay!” the kids said simultaneously.
“kalim.” jamil gave a disapproving look, “how many times must i tell you that this is the nanny's job and not mine.” he said in an annoyed tone while simultaneously taking the little girl in his arms and holding onto the boy's hand. this is when you come in from behind, wrapping your arms around your husband's waist, “aw, but they like you, jamil. don't you, kids?”
“i love uncle jamil!” the younger one giggled, “he's one of the funny grown ups.”
jamil let out a defeated sigh, “come on, children. let's get you both cleaned up.” he said, softly shaking his head and if you looked close enough you could see the soft smile on his lips as they walked away.
as soon as the silly questions of, ‘when will you get married’ and ‘can i pet your parrot, uncle?’ faded off into the distance, kalim wasted no time peppering every inch of your face in kisses and tackling you to the blanket fort as both of you giggled and laughed like middle schoolers rolling over the soft silky fabric under your skin. safe to say no matter how old you get, the love you and your husband share will forever remain the same as when it first blossomed from years ago.
⑇
vil schoenheit ‹ pomefiore ›
vil liked to keep things organized. he liked to keep a schedule he strictly follows like the skincare routine every night or the color patterns of what fashions he'd decide to wear that day. it's the same as when you were both courting. he had a routine to follow whenever you would see each other on a date. flowers, then he'd check if you dressed right, take you out and give you the best night of your life.
and you know how people say ‘change is good’? well, there are also some things that stay the same over the years. and that was good for you, too. like how he'd book the best restaurant in the city or take you out for a romantic cruise on your wedding anniversary. those nights were always perfect. and at the end of those nights is the same as well. paparazzi flashing their cameras at your face asking the most ridiculous questions. people getting in your business. that was the down side of your relationship with vil, but it wasn't anything you couldn't handle. you knew what you were getting into the day you married him.
but oh sevens. when will they give you a break? it's your wedding anniversary with vil again tonight and he had a whole evening planned out for you. but there was a swarm of paparazzi outside the penthouse you were staying in. your husband had an upcoming movie and that had everyone abuzz and trying to get some statements out of him. there were so many to the point where you both had to go back inside because you could see the camera flashes with your eyes closed. well, you could. vil was used to it. but he wasn't about to force you to run out there with him again. your perfect night hasn't started yet and you already looked exhausted from that temporary encounter. vil silently cursed them for that.
after maybe 30 minutes of waiting for them to leave and with no luck of it ever happening, the blonde stood up from his spot on the couch, “that's it,” he spoke with a tone of finality in his voice, “get changed, darling. we're leaving.”
the confusion was evident in your face and it only made sense when vil came out wearing a hoodie, jeans and mask over his face. he hated wearing such common looking clothes, but sometimes situations call for it. and for you, frankly, he would do almost anything.
vil liked to keep things organized. he liked to keep a schedule he strictly follows like the skincare routine every night or the color patterns of what fashions he'd decide to wear that day. he absolutely hated when his plans wouldn't pull through but sometimes he finds serendipity in even the most dreary situations with you. you could spend your anniversary on a special yacht with the best waiters serving you first class meals and a candlelit dinner or just in a parking lot inside your car with cheap wine that you both agreed tasted awful but kept drinking anyway and at the end of the day, everything still works out. as long as you're by his side, he can learn to be contented even with all the disorganization of ruined plans as long as he's laughing to trashy radio podcasts and temporarily (today's a special exception, he says) ruining his diet for you.
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idia shroud ‹ ignihyde ›
your husband, your favorite person, best friend, the only one you love enough to spend the rest of your life with... can sometimes be a little irritating. you know idia better than most people around you. he wasn't exactly the easiest person to get to know because of his very reserved personality but he is one of the smartest and funniest people you know. and you'd hoped that since he is one of the smartest people you know and you're actually married to him, he'd lend a hand when you're trying to do a little bit of spring cleaning to at least make the house look like it's a habitable place and not just a reserve for an endless supply of red bull and monster energy drinks. though the house wasn't necessarily ‘messy’, but it always seemed pretty empty and lacking a bit of life to it. so you thought of doing a bit of rearranging, putting up new decorations and replacing a couple furnitures which you both had bought and majority picked out by him.
this has been the third time you'd checked in his office and your patience was growing thin. you watched him from the doorway as he typed away some sort of code in his computer which was the only light source in the room. you crossed your arms as you called out his name, “idia shroud.” before flicking the light switch on making him hiss at the sudden brightness. he flinched upon seeing you. uh-oh. you used his full name, this can't be good.
“i've been calling you down to help me assemble the table. i'm not good at building things!”
“and i told you i'd be there in a bit. i'm just finishing things up around here.”
“idia.”
“okay! fine. jeez you don't have to threaten me.” he threw his hands up in the air in defeat as he stood up from his chair, “you're lucky i love you.”
you cocked a brow at this comment, arms still crossed across your chest and he rolled his eyes, “fine. other way around, i know. i'm lucky you love me.” he sighed but this time with a smile on his face as he leaned in to plant a kiss on your forehead, “now where is that table you need me to build?”
your husband, your favorite person, best friend, the only one you love enough to spend the rest of your life with... can sometimes be a little irritating. but you know idia better than most people around you. and he sometimes would seem detached and spends most of his time in his own company in front of his computer, he truly cares about you and your happiness. the amount of love he shows through the things he does, even the most menial of tasks like bearing the new, less darker curtain colors that you wanted to put up on the windows or stopping whatever new project he was trying to develop to help you move the new couches around the house. he would never do this for anyone else. and as you both sit under the kitchen counter, a bag of open chips on the floor and soda in your hands looking over at the new house makeover you both spent all day working on, you smiled.
“i'm lucky you love me.” you said, taking a sip of your soda and putting your head on his shoulder. he let out a short, breathy laugh before placing a soft kiss on your temple, “wanna go play mario kart and ruin our newly bought couch with chip crumbs?”
“sure.” you said, slowly standing up. you took a few seconds to stare at each other before you started sprinting to the couch, “last one to get there is in charge of cleaning it up!”
“hey, no fair!”
“nothing's fair in mario kart, babe!”
⑇
malleus draconia ‹ diasomnia ›
you once told your husband that one of your most favorite things about him is his smile and the way it so gently breaks out around you. his booming laughter that follows as you eat dinner at the big, lonely castle that was once the place he walked around alone that now feels more alive after he'd married you. you make the most emptiest of places feel alive with love and laughter. you painted his life with colors that he could never see with anyone else.
and speaking of painting, he'd snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the metal part of he paintbrush clinked on the glass of the jar as the painter dipped the brush into the water. he gave you a glance where you were sat, looking straight at the back of the canvas as if trying to bore a hole onto the painting focusing on keeping your face straight and expressionless as instructed. it was traditional for briar valley's royalty to have their portraits painted whenever there was an addition to the family. and this case, the new addition was you when you both married. and now as he sat beside you, stealing glances he was sure you noticed by the way your lips twitched, he couldnt help but think of how the morning sun's rays seeping into the room that bathed your skin with the soft golden glow of the 10:00 am sun. it made you look absolutely beautiful. well, you always looked beautiful in his eyes. it's why—
someone cleared their throat.
“your highness,” the painter called out to him, “eyes front, if you please.”
he quickly straightened himself, “my apologies.” he hastily responded. he could hear you suck in a breath beside him, probably trying to contain the giggle that was trying to escape your throat.
another 20 minutes of silence passes. just the soft brushing of the paintbrush against the canvas and the occasional clink of the glass could be heard. he couldn't help but steal a glance at you again but to his surprise, you had your eyes on him as well. upon seeing his gaze shift to your figure, you immediately played it cool pretending you weren't looking but the way the smile threatened to break your facade betrayed you. malleus couldn't help the corner of mouth from twitching.
you did your little inhale again to try to compose yourself but uncharacteristically for him, he found that quite humorous abd had to clear his throat to keep him from letting out a laugh.
now that made you break out a smile and clear your own throat to try and stop yourself from bursting into full blown laughter.
you heard the irritation of the painter in the way he placed his paintbrush down. he stood up and gave you and malleus a sharp look before speaking in a very annoyed voice, “i shall go and have a drink delivered to both highnesses as to aid you both in the supposed strains on your throats.”
he made his way to the door, grumbling to himself about how ‘undignified’ or how ‘not taken seriously’ the situation was.
there was a moment of silence before you and malleus burst into a fit of bubbly laughter. his laughs were in his chest escaping in low vibrations while yours were loud and sharp simply to show how hilarious you found the situation to be. with how glorious both your attires were for the portraits looking like the epitome of royalty, the way you were both giggling like teenagers simply threw all the gloriousness out the window.
you once told your husband that one of your most favorite things about him is his smile and the way it so gently breaks out around you. his booming laughter that follows as you eat dinner at the big, lonely castle that was once the place he walked around alone that now feels more alive after he'd married you. even the most boring events in his life that once he would have been forced to accept in all its blandness would be splashed with the most vibrant colors whenever you were in the picture. his life, his love, his pride and joy—you. now that he's seen colors he never would've imagined to be possible to exist in all its dazzling beauty, he can never go back to the dreary shade of gray that hazed over his life. you were his freedom, and he would be ready fight the world to hear your laughter by his side till death do you part.
© merotwst 2023 · do not copy, translate or reproduce.
#. merowrites#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland imagines#riddle rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#twst riddle#riddle x reader#leona kingscholar#leona kingscholar x reader#twst leona#leona x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#twst azul#azul x reader#kalim al asim x reader#kalim al asim#twst kalim#kalim x reader#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#twst vil#vil x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#twst idia#idia x reader#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader
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Dr.house- 2 am(smut)
Time wise takes place in season 1, I don't think my timelines exactly right but I can't find exact dates since they're lot really specified.
I’m on a Fuckin role!
4.2k words!!! Not at all edited I just finished this and posted it
5/22/23
Your pov-
It's not every night you get a call from Greg House to come to his apartment at 2 in the morning...but here I was standing in the entrance room of apartment 221 about to knock on the door to apartment B.
I've been to his house before, I've known the asshole for 11 years, I met him a year before his golfing incident.
I raised my hand and knocked on the door, loud enough for him to hear, quiet enough to not alert the neighbors. I waited for a few seconds of nothing and knocked again, a few seconds later it opened.
"Get in." He promptly spoke, turning around and immediately walking away.
I came in, shutting the door behind me. I kicked my slippers off as i gazed over at the piano, which was obviously being used a bit earlier by the open music and shuffled around music sheets on top. Last week it was tucked in the corner, now it's facing out into the room. One guitar was hung on the wall, the other on a floor stand.
On his coffee table was a half empty bottle of whiskey and a few scrambled folders.
"I was sleeping you know." I said as he came out of the kitchen with a mug. He was still in his work clothes, well the T-shirt and pants part of it, and Now I'm noticing the smell of coffee.
"Fully aware, sit." He plopped down onto the couch and leaned forward, resting his cane against the arm of the couch on his side.
I let out a sigh as I walked over, plopping down next to him. He handed me the red mug right away and I grabbed it.
"That's one hell of a tank top." He commented and I looked down at myself. It was white, and tight. I didn't get dressed alright, I threw on some plaid pj pants, grabbed a zip up hoodie, and threw on my slippers and left.
"Shut the fuck up Greg. I gotta be in the office at six." I took a sip from the mug,"this is fucking good."
"Good, so look at this." He handed me a whole file so I put the mug down on the table and leaned back with the folder.
"Anna Mae Johnson, 56, female..Hallucinating and loosing her vision." I looked up from the file and looked at him, leaned back in the corner of the couch holding a glass of whiskey. "Are you kidding me?"
"No. You were the only neurologist that picked up my call." He shrugged. I'm not just a neurologist, I'm also an ophthalmologist and general surgeon. I didn't let my scholarships at Stamford go to waste. "And, frankly I don't feel like spending another 3 hours with this women."
"Wilson didn't pick up?" I raised my brow.
"Oh no, he did. And he told me to fuck off." He half smiled for a second and i rolled my eyes.
"Could've called me down when I was at the office Greg." I shook my head at him,"Wheres the scans and tests?"
"Red folder." I put down the file and opened up the red folder.
I saw brain scans and negative labs, I was looking for an Amsler grid report or a OCT.
"Did you get an ophthalmologist to look at her eyes?" I looked over at him and he raised his brow at me,"her eyes. She's loosing her vision, did you get some sight tests?"
"Should be something in there." I rolled my eyes at him as I flipped through papers,"Why her eyes?"
"I thought diagnostic medicine was your specialty?" I shot at him and heard his scoff," because macular degeneration, loosing the vision." I opened up the patients file and flipped to the medical history, I felt him shift on the couch, he was sitting closer to me, leaning forward to look at the file...or maybe my chest.
"The gears are turning." He poked my temple.
"Alright, She started having problems with her vision 3 months ago, blurry and getting worse. She went to the eye doctor to change her prescription, it worked for 3 weeks and she never went back. Could be wet AMD."
"abnormal blood vessels growing under the retina. Which have been leaking blood or other fluids, which causes scarring of the macula."he nodded slowly as he looked towards the fireplace.
"So do Anti-VEGF treatment. But the hallucinations aren't a symptom of the AMD. Could be Charles Bonnet syndrome, that's a symptom of vision loss, lack of light entering the Retina so the brains creating images to fill the void." I explained and he hummed.
"can't treat the CBS, but we can treat the AMD, either with the anti-VEGF or laser surgery."
"VEGF first, then the laser." I closed the folders and grabbed the mug and leaned back in the leather couch. "what else?"
"That's really it."He looked back at me and I cocked my head in disbelief at him.
"You didn't know it was AMD or CBS?" I took a sip and he shrugged.
"Had a slight idea, needed a 4th opinion." He grabbed the whiskey bottle and opened it, pouring some into his glass. He closed it and leaned back, holding his glass on his right thigh.
"At two AM?"
"We'll considering you were teaching from three to five, i couldn't bother you. I knew I could get you at two AM, I've gotten you at four." I shook my head as I took snother drink from the mug,"why haven't I hired you?"
"Because I like having my own office." I answered,"my turn, why in the last eleven years haven't I slapped you yet?"
"We'll, for like 5 of those I was married."
"What does that have to do with it?"
"Might've wanted to jump my bones afterwards, I've heard some things." I let out a laugh at the smug look in his face.
"We were both single, horny, and drunk." I crossed my right ket over my left leg,"it doesn't count."
"Oh wilson counts it." He smirked snd wiggled his brows. I let out a sigh, and ran my tongue under my bottom k-9s with a smirk on my face.
"I'm not tell-"he cut me off promptly.
"I don't need you too, I've heard it already." He looked away from me and looked over at the fireplace again and then to the coffee table.
"Oh really? What was your favorite part?" I asked sarcastically, Wilson told me he didn't tell anyone we screwed, but I know Greg doesn't count.
"When you- and I quote- sucked his soul from his dick and then rid him like a fucking pornstar." He finally looked at me,"the scratches you left on his back were also very impressive."
"Wow alright." I felt my heart in my throat, not in a bad way.
I sat up and placed the mug on the table, uncrossing my legs and standing up.
"I'm going-"
"No you're not," he grabbed my wrist, not hard but strong enough to keep me,"you wanna see how far this will go. You're blushed, got a little shake in your hand." He let go it my wrist," And I gotta say, your tits look great. It'd be a crime to not give them attention."
"Is that the Vicodin or whiskey talking?" I sat down if the edge if the couches arm, he was placed in the middle of the couch now.
"Me."
"What? Is a Hooker not available for a night call?" I love giving him a hard time.
"I thought she did arrive?" He gasped and looked at me with a shocked expression. I scoffed at him.
"So what? You call me to come here, have me look at your patients files and solve it for you, and now you think I'm gonna fuck you?" I crossed my arms and he cocked his head before nodding.
"I don't think you are, I know you are. Wilson's bad at keeping secrets and you like to talk." He took a drink from his glass,"so either we can fuck, or you can just keep waiting, but you've been waiting awhile so I don't think you want to." My jaw dropped slightly at his words. Damnit Wilson.
I slid off the arm and sat down next to him, my toros turned to him, my arm resting on the head of the couch, my brows furrowed.
"So I'm actually here to fuck you?" I asked,"you couldn't wait. just had to have me huh?"
"I can blame you for my acute insomnia lately, that's why I'm awake." He leaned forward and out his glass on the table.
"I've finally gotten under Dr.houses skin haven't I?" I raised my brow, a smirk on my face.
"You've been under my skin for awhile, it's not new." That was news to me. these last couple of months it seemed like he could care less. He kept me around, but it wasn’t the same. I knew how he was though, why I never brought it up.
“Really?” I got a surge of confidence, and I took it.
I used my leverage on the couch to move and straddle his thighs, making sure I was careful when coming around to his right leg. His hands immediately came and sat on my thighs
“Thought you were leaving?” He looked over his shoulder to the door,”or was I right?”
“You’re right, I wanna jump your bones.”
“What about your six AM shift?” His hands left my hips and came up to take hold of my hoodie by the collarbones,”suddenly not important because you know you’re gonna get fucked?”
“I suddenly don’t have to go in till nine.” He pushed my hoodie off, I let it fall off my arms and he watched it do so, he then tossed it down to the side of the coffee table. When he looked up at me, I let my lips come down on his, he responded quickly. My hands sat on his shoulders and His hands sat on my ass, he used the grip to pull me closer to him. My chest pushing into his.
I could taste the whiskey on his tongue and the coffee on mine. His beard tickled my chin and all I could think about was how it would feel in between my legs, the thought made my hips grind down on him. His finger tips pushed into my skin as he joined in on the motion. Rocking my hips steadily down on his hardening cock in his pants.
A hand slid from his shoulder to the back of his head, my fingers carding through his hair. I could feel my heartbeat in my pussy, snd I could myself getting wet.
He pulled away from me shortly after, but his lips came back to my skin. Placing a trail of kisses from my jaw to my neck, the feeling of his beard caused a small moan to escape as his hands slid up the back of my ass and took hold of the hem of my tanktop.
I felt him bundling it in his hands, though his lips didn’t leave my neck yet, he wasn’t bitting or sucking just leaving open mouth kisses as he traveled to my collarbones and placed a kiss in between them.
His eyes met mine again, his pupils more dilated then before. He didn’t say anything but took the moment to start lifting my tanktop off snd I let him, he tossed it behind me to my hoodie.
“I knew they were nice, but wow.” His eyes were glued on my chest like a teenage boy to his first playboy magazine. his hands rubbed up and down my waist,”sure they’re real? I’ll be able to tell.”
“They are.” I replied as his hands took hold of them, massaging them. I pressed them harder into his hands, I just wanted to feel him. If I was gonna screw Dr.House, I might as well make it good.
I kept my hips rocking on him, my hips rocking faster and I tried to keep my upper half as still as possible. his hard cock rubbing against my clothes pussy. What a night to wear lace to bed. He pressed kisses to my left breast before taking my nipple into my mouth, that hand slid down my ribs and pushed past the band of my pants and slipped right past my panties.
His tongue swirled around the bud as his finger ran right over my slit before diving to my clit.
“Aah yes.” I sighed out, finally reviving what I want, focusing on grinding into his finger. he wasn’t moving it, just keeping it there for me to use. I appreciate it. His mouth left my nipple and me pressed a kiss between both my breasts. Another moan left my mouth as my head lulled back, my lips stayed parted.
“Wet and needy, just as I was hoping.” His hand slipped away from my breast and onto my waist, he held it tightly,”the tough doctor turns into a little bitch when aroused.”
“Focus on me, not yourself.” I retorted and he scoffed.
Something I was expecting was getting flipped my off of him. He had me pinned under him, his good leg kneeled on the couch, keeping my right leg pinned to the back of the couch, also keeping him stable with the help of his new found grip on the couches arm. His finger didn’t leave the clit In the motion, so he started rubbing faster, even added a second finger.
My chest started rising a bit faster as more moans left my lips, and in true men-fashion, right as it was getting good…he pulled away. His hand exited my pants, but both hands came and met the band of my pants. His weight shifted to his good knee as he pulled both pieces of clothing down my legs, lifting them up when needed, then letting them fall. He tossed the clothing with the rest and I sat up and grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, taking a moment to start a heated kiss, one that lasted long enough to slide my hands to the hem of his shirt and start pulling it up.
I pulled away from him to get it over his head and arms and threw it behind Me. Grabbing his face and pulling him back down with me resuming the kiss. Grabbed my previously pinned leg and held it over his hip and pulled away from me. His right hand came back down to my pussy. Wet and begging for anything; Which he gave. His middle finger came down to my core, circling it before diving in. A moan louder then the rest ripped out of me.
“If only I could get that sound copied on a record, could listen to it all day.” I looked at him through slotted eyes, meeting his blue ones which shifted from my gaze to my Pussy. His ring finger joined his middle finger, pumping out of me in a medium pace. My back was sticky against the leather as my back lifted up, my boobs lightly bouncing as my chest rose and fell.
“Feels fucking great.” I moaned out, my eyes falling closed. I felt the couch shift and then lips and a beard against my inner thigh. Trailing open mouth kisses to my core. I couldn’t stop the begging from leaving my lips,”please Greg, please.”
“Gettin’ there.” He quickly commented before his tongue latched to my clit.
My body shivered and my eyes rolled back under my closed lids. His fingers finally found my gspot and my hand shot to his hair, tugging on his crown. My hips rolled into his face as he switched between licking and sucking my clit.
I couldn’t help but moan, i was feeling great. My thighs pressed against his bare and warm shoulders, my calf being nudged by his elbow each time he pumped his fingers. My head felt dizzy, my body warm, and my abdominal muscles tight. I was gonna cum already, last bar hookup was 4 months ago and I’ve barely used my vibrator. There was no doubt I was gonna be the quick one tonight. My hips started bucking up, so his free arm pressed down on hips, holding me a bit more still and controlled. He changed his fingers angle snd pressure, curling them in a “come” motion.
“Just like that!” My voice was a higher pitch now, and within a few second, pathetically, k was seeing stars behind closed lids. My nail scratching against his scalp, trying to hold onto him for dear life, my other hand taking hold of the top edge of the couch.
He kept his pace and speed for bit after my orgasm, trying to push me to a cliff. Which he did Successfully, could probably tell my how I was I moaning his name, how wet his chin was, and how wet I was getting, and used it to know when the right time was to stop.
“Wow.” He breathed out as he sat up, adjusting to sit down properly,”now I understand why you eat pineapple everyday.”
I haven’t even opened my eyes yet, my legs were shaking, and I was catching my breath. I felt his weight leave the couch and heard the shaking metal of his belt, so I opened my eyes. I met his gaze which was staring at me and then they went down to where his hands were. Unzipping his pants, about to reveal the dick I’ve wanted to ride for a few years. I sat up, feeling how wet the bottom of my ass was against the leather. Now I understand why the couch is leather.
I pushed his hands away and hooked my fingers into the band in his boxers and started pulling them down, taking hold of his hard cock when it sprung out. He grabbed hold in his is pants from coming down any further then he wanted m, and he simply shook his head grabbing his cane. I respectfully brushed it off, my hand left his boxers band and traveled up his side sitting on his hip. He was bigger then I would’ve guessed, but it made sense.
I let go of his cock and spit onto my hand, taking hold of his and twisting my fist up and down, when I licked his tip. I looked up at him through my lashes. His head was rested back, obviously an expression of pleasure was plastered on his face, his breathing deep. so I let my eyes fall as I look him into my mouth, not wasting time to flatten my tongue, pumping the base of his cock. I felt his hand snake into my hair, grabbing some in his fist. He wasn’t using it to control me, though it wasn’t hard to tell by his tightening grip he wanted to. I would’ve let him, I kinda planned on letting him, but he only kept me down there for a few more moments before pulling me off.
“What are you on?” He asked the moment his cock left my mouth.
“IUD.” I answered catching the breath I needed. He didn’t respond,”it’s fine, as long as the last prostitute you fucked was clean.”
“Made sure.” He assured me as he sat down, letting his cane rest against the couch again. I stood up to get a better placement over his cock. His hands sat on my hips, his lips finding my breast again. I reach around and grabbed his cock, sliding it through my folds before holding it to my core.
I lowered down on it, moaning out at the initial stretch, and he groaned. His head falling back onto the head of the couch as he took a long inhale through his nose and sighed it out, a whispered “fuck” followed suit. Lowered down more, grabbing onto his shoulders, and biting down on my lower lip to stop a moan that would wake the neighbors from coming out. I lowered down completely onto him, taking a bit more then half of him in one go. I curled forward, moaning onto his neck as his finger tips pressed into my skin.
“When was-“
“Four months ago, shut up.” I mean pushed off of him and met his face, a disconcerted look on his face.
“I’m honored.” His tone was cocky and paired with a smirk. He raised hips and lowered me back down, that fuzzy brain feeling was coming back when he did it again, and again. Each time higher to where his tip was only left, snd lowering me down harder.
“Oh fuck Greg!” My nails pressed into his skin, I caught on with his movement, moving my hips with his guidance. He didn’t like slow I could tell, medium pace was where he liked to start at. Slowly getting faster, snd harder.
My brain drowned out into the sounds of our breathing, my moans, and the loudening groans that came from him. I could feel how wet the inside of my thighs were getting. My hips on auto pilot, riding him quickly. His tip bumping snd rubbing into my gspot.
My nails finally dug into his shoulder when his thumb met my clit and my walls tightened around him. Rubbing Harsh circles against the swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves.
“You look fucking perfect.” I couldn’t open my eyes, too overwhelmed with my nerves feeling like they’re on fire, my heart pulsing in my throat and clit,”and so-goddamn (y/n), squeeze me any tighter and I’m not gonna have a dick.”
“Dram-ah- queen.” I said through my shakey , near breathless voice. I didn’t wanna cum, not yet. It was all Too damn good to not savor it.
So I grabbed onto the back of the couch and started really riding him. Rocking and swiveling my hips into his when I came down, keeping my speed and pace constant, at least trying.
“Oh fuuck me (y/n).” His thumb started rubbing faster, ripping a broken moan from my throat. My chest pushed into his, his fingertips pressing further into my waist, no doubt leaving bruises for tomorrow.
“I’m gonna cum.” I speedily warned him.
“Not yet, just a few more minutes.”
“Greg-“
“Just wait.” His tone was firm but tinted with a bit of fake annoyance at my greediness.
“Jus’ want you to fill me up, come on.” My breathing was deep as I spoke but sped up when I stopped. My hairline was damp snd so was the back of my knees.
He bucked his hips up into mine, sounds leaning his throat at their own will, so caught up in his own pleasure he couldn’t even care.
Those few minutes felt like torture, my orgasm on the brink of snapping while his thumb is still abusing my clit. The corners of my lips curled when I felt his cock start twitching inside of me, getting more obvious by the second.
“Now.” He spit out,”gonna full up this greedy pussy.”
It snapped, my orgasm ripped through me, my walls spasmed around him which triggered his orgasm. I pushed my body into his, feeling his warm skin radiating against mine. I could feel him shooting into me, mixing with my own orgasm and spilling down my thighs and onto him.
I rode him till I couldn’t anymore, I finally gave out. His cock buried inside me as I laid against him, his hands holding onto my ass as we caught our breath. Soon after he lifted my hips off of him, his cock sliding out of me and I moved to sit on the leather next to him. Holding one of my knees to my body, my head falling back.
“If I knew your dick was that big I woukd be jumped you years ago.” I let out a breathy chuckled snd he hummed.
“I regret not grabbing your Tits earlier, should’ve acted on my impulse.” He said standing up, putting his boxers and pants back on,”so anti-VEGF treatment tomorrow?” He asked grabbing his cane and leaning against it as he looked down at me.
“Let me check her out first and I’ll confirm.” I answered and looked back up at the ceiling. I heard him walk away so I lifted my head and watched him,”where are you going?”
“To clean up and go to sleep, you coming?” He asked stopping in his tracks.
“Not again tonight, no.” I replied and he blinked at me a few times, a smile keept to his lips.
“Ha-ha!” He sarcastically laughed before going back to his original expression and limping away. I can’t really be mad, I kinda solved his case and got fucked, but now it’s 3:40, and I have work at six still.
#gegewrites#fanfiction#smut writer#greg house x reader#dr house smut#dr house#greg house smut#greg house#dr greg house#house md smut#house md
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