#THIS COMING FROM AN ASEXUAL

[hussyknee]

could it not also be considered androphobia that trans men don’t actually “count” as men when it comes to lesbians…???

What?

Policing the way you self-identify is inherently oppressive and queerphobic, and the particular way it's levelled at trans mascs is transandrophobic. Insisting that trans men can't be lesbians and that lesbians can't be attracted to trans men denies the fact that you can't pick most trans men out of a lesbian lineup, that being assigned female informs a lot of trans mascs' experiences, that they experience most of the same oppressions as women, and rejects the belonging they found in the lesbian identity while sussing out their gender (which may not even be a fixed thing). Like, fucking hell, you're attracted to what someone looks and behaves like, their aesthetic, their energy, their vibes. NOT whether they check the right gender box on a questionnaire. Male is an internal identity that can mean a lot of things. It has nothing to do with who's attracted to you or how you experience attraction.

Also like...the gender binary isn't real lol. Y'all think women and men occupy oppositional sides like a tennis court, and that all other genders fall into one or the other and never the twain shall meet. So that when a Man™ falls into the orbit of a sexuality that predominantly centers fems/women, or when that sexuality doesn't completely exclude all attraction to mascs/men, y'all have an entire cow about it.

Edited to clarify: I meant that the majority of trans mascs are pre-transition, not that no trans masc in any state of transition can look like anything but a woman. Begging y'all to remember that the vast majority of trans people are not medically transitioned because of socio-economic reasons, most are closeted to some extent and (can't find the stats on dysphoric vs. non-dysphoric trans people) some trans mascs don't/ can't even wear binders. And even cis gays mix up femme twinks and butch lesbians. Being able to be shielded among the cis gay community and its allies is one of trans folks's most important protections.

#transandrophobia #i'm deliberately not careful with the terminology #because this whole discourse is generated by internet robots who have only heard tell of wanting to fuck people #THIS COMING FROM AN ASEXUAL #i can only assume you havent met any queer people in real life and therefore cant even conceptualize the width and variation of human being #exclusionism #queer discourse #lgbtqia #knee of huss

[c0l0re]

I can't help but find it kind of hilarious that the entire TMA fandom (myself included) collectively decided that Jon is actually the most beautiful person to ever walk the earth, meanwhile every vague description we get of them in the podcast is just hammering home what a Fucking Wreck they are

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #tma shitpost #colore speaks #unfortunately for jonny writerman sims Fucking Wrecks are exactly my type so this actually just made jon hotter in my mind #and this is coming from an asexual #jon is gorgeous i dont make the rules

[bumbleboa]

of all the good reasons to have an ace headcanon for him, why would you land on this

#not maintagging this #and I wish I could say this was a singular instance #but sadly it isn't #people can be uninterested in sex without being reduced to children or having their intelligence insulted #not even mentioning that a-spectrum experience is so varied in general #the two sides of terrible asexual generalisation: unfeeling robots and children #if you say someone is too dumb or emotionally immature to understand sex #you imply that if they just grew up a little or learned a bit more they would change their mind #ace people get that kind of patronising enough we don't need the call to come from inside the house as well

[aromacaque]

every time i see "old" aro/ace terminology that isn't nearly as commonplace as it once was because the online communities that either created them or promoted them got destroyed during the peak of exclusionism during the 2010s i get so sad

it was genuinely horrific watching aspec communities dwindle in numbers online in real time during 2015-2019 (i'm sure it is a major contributor to how bad my internalized arophobia was at the time) and i wish people other than aro/ace people spoke up about it or even Acknowledged the amount of damage it did to our community

this post was brought to you by black ace rings, white aro rings, ace of spades, ace of clubs, ace of hearts, ace of diamonds, and all of the other symbols we had that have been lost to newer generations due to so much of the community being effectively harassed away by TERFs

#aromantic #asexual #aspec #yes i am aware these things are still used and prevalent in the communities BUT they aren't as well known within the communities compared t #what i saw in the past (and this is coming from someone who was very new to the community during that time which speaks volumes)

[swagveryswagamazinf]

HAPPY ASEXUAL AWARENESS DAY💥💥🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💥💥💥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️YAHOOOO

#my art #qsmp #qsmp fanart #elmariana #fanart #el mariana #qsmp el mariana #doodle #cubito #asexual #asexual pride #acespec #demisexual #ace pride #all the pretty people come from this country

[theexhaustedqueer]

allos will see two people standing next to each other and insist that they must be fucking

#asexual #ace #acespec #this is about a lot of things #and I could be referring to any pair of fictional characters right now #but also specifically this is about the people who have decided that jace and porter must be fucking #for some reason? #can’t they just be villainous besties? #where did this come from????

[shitpostingkats]

-

-

When I tell you I fucking sobbed my eyes out.

#Brennan Lee Mulligan and Brian Murphy creating the most gutwrenchingly brutal depiction of ace tragedy #I spent my whole life thinking someone who wasnt on the spectrum couldn't really grasp what it's like growing up ace #and then these two (to my knowledge) het guys come through an utterly NAIL that feeling on the head #words can't describe the seen it made me feel #me going into this podcast: Oh? This has ace rep? Fun! #me now: hey please remove the knife from my sternum #god I have SO MANY thoughts #words and cringe fanart to follow #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high sophomore year #fhsy #riz gukgak #asexuality #aromantic #aroace

[deadbeatdadjokes]

brought to you by all the things people have literally said to me in 100% earnest

#asexual #acespec #asexual rights #I’m so tired #but I’m hoping some awareness or at least some community comes from the seeds of hate I am currently weeding from my garden #aphobia cw #aphobia

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

Due to that post I made re: why it's hard for aros/aces to imagine a future for themselves because society tells you a romantic partner will always take priority, a lot of people (aros/aces and allos alike) are sharing stories about how they have been discarded by their close friends and it's breaking my heart. But allos and aspecs coming in and sharing how they have the same amount of love for their partners and their best friends/siblings is healing it.

Still, there are people in the tags saying that aros/aces can "never offer their partners the kind of intimacy they need" and so they shouldn't be "surprised" when they feel closer to partners than their friends. You guys are missing the point.

The point is that we should NOT be ranking our relationships. People aren't there to be ranked on a scale of "This person is my number one and this person comes after that." The point is that you need multiple people in your life. One person cannot - and should not - be responsible for giving you everything you need. Different people will give you different things that you need in life and you should value all of them.

The idea that a romantic partner will give you every single thing you need in life is a toxic idea in itself and puts undue pressure on said partner and the relationship as a whole. A best friend won't give you everything either. You NEED multiple people in your life and they will all give you a part of what you need, but there is no one perfect person out there who perfectly gives you exactly what you want. We need multiple people and they should all be valued by you. Love is not limited.

#aro stuff #ace stuff #aroace tag #aro #ace #aromanticism #asexuality #aromantic #asexual #aroace #This idea that a romantic partner comes before everything and everyone else is a very Western idea too #I'm grateful that I live in a culture where family and community are important parts of life. #I'm lucky that my best friend considers me as important as her husband #i'm lucky that I'm close to my family and have unconditional love from them #why do I have to rank the relationships in my life #a mother with two kids can love and prioritise them equally #as my own mother does #why is it impossible for some of you to imagine doing that with other relationships in your life? #(i wrote this when I was sleepy and wrote unrequited love instead of unconditional love i'm so dumb lol #i do return my family's love)

[privateolives]

This is probably because I grew up watching 24/7 animal planet, but what finally made the allo/aplatonic thing click for me were the nature's of big cats.

Lions are powerful, regal creatures who are uniquely adapted to pack life. They need these connections to live a healthy life; A lonely lion is a miserable creature indeed.

Jaguars are solitary, beautiful creatures who live happily solitary. They prowl their lush world with self-sufficient majesty. A jaguar is not lonely without a pack. In fact, forcing jaguars to share space with others they do not enjoy is just as damaging as forcing a lion to live alone.

A lion may choose to head out on it's own for the most part, but in the end must return to the pack to thrive. A jaguar can choose to trust and enjoy the company of others, but they never feel the need to form a pack.

Is a jaguar selfish for this? A psychopath, a narcissist or any other such horrid assumptions? Is it a less moral creature than a lion, who seeks others like it to thrive?

Is a lion pathetic, or needy, or selfish for wanting community? For requiring contact with others like they require water? For their inherent need to string complicated webs of relationships that may seem silly or dramatic to others?

Of course not. These are ridiculous questions to even ask.

They are simply lions and jaguars.

In fact, is a jaguar that chooses to spend time with you not as magical as a lion's love? For a creature that needs no bond to thrive to still enjoy your presence enough to share it a time? Is a lion who can prowl the night alone not impressive in its strength and resilience? Is it not awe-inspiring in its ability to conquer a life it was never wired for and reign still?

Are they not both beautiful and awe-inspiring in their own ways, without being wrong?

Alloplatonics. Aplatonics. Are we not both special and beautiful in both our bonds and self-confident happiness equal, in each our ways? Is there not unique beauty in lifelong bonded packs and magical encounters that need no perpetuity to carry life forward?

Are we not but lions and jaguars? Neither wrong, neither selfish, but just different and beautiful creatures in each our ways?

That's how I've come to see it, anyway.

#lgbt #aspec #lgbtqa+ #asexual #aromantic #aroace #loveless #aplatonic #alloplatonic #animals #I woke up at like 3 in themmorning to write this so I apologise for weird wording #I'm not awake enough to go hunting for the videos but if you want to see more about the equal majesty and difference in cats bonding #I suggest looking up Kevin Richardson's work with lions and panthers #I love animals. I hope I didn’t come off as degrading to anyone by using them as comparison #I can assure you the association only carries the deepest respect from me. #anyway all the aro discourse floating about made me think of this issue again #and how explaining allo/a-platonic needs has been a difficult task in the past #you're all valid no matter your labels or shapes or spots or manes #remember that when an orientation you don't understand comes to the lgbtable your job isn't to test them #it's to make room

[meowzet]

shout out to the asexuals who aren’t aromantic, but don’t desire a romantic relationship!

shout out to the aromantics who aren’t asexual, but don’t desire a sexual relationship!

shout out to the aspecs who feel like they have to ‘make up’ for their lack of attraction!

you don’t have to give anyone shit. keep being cool like that! i’m cheering you on!

#i am so sleepy so please forgive me if this came out the wrong way #just wanting to show some undying adoration for my fellow aspecs #<- coming from a romance-averse asexual who isn’t aromantic #but is still expected to want and desire romance #i <2 you all #aspec #ace #asexual #aro #aromantic #aroace #acespec #arospec #alloace #aroallo #queer #my meows

[universe-of-peoples]

Does anyone else on the aroace spectrum ever feel like

I’m in my twenties and I WANT these big epic romances I see in movies and tv and books and even in my social circles but

I literally feel no attraction to anyone

Like I feel like I’m missing out on this life experience but I can’t help it

#and then the one person I did ever like didn’t like me back so there’s that #I’m demisexual btw #asexual #ace #aroace #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #aromantic #ace spec #asexual spectrum #demisexual #demiromantic #gray asexual #graysexual #queer #also the amount of people trying to diagnose my identity from this post #I know you mean well and are trying to be helpful #but I was trying to make a relatable post about a feeling I’ve had lately #and ngl some of the identity suggestions come off a little condescending #esp when I already put my identity in the tags #idk

[nyancreeperpony]

Alastor Shipping Discourse is so weird to me, because, on one hand, I get where people are coming from when it comes to being against shipping him.

But on the other hand, I'm pretty sure that a good percentage of the artists I follow on Insta who do ship him with other characters are some flavor of aro and/or ace.

#“god I hate that these allosexuals/alloromantics are out here shipping Alastor” #Like excuse me...but what kinda circles have you been hanging around? #because from my point of view...the call is coming from inside the house lmao #genuine discoursers dni #I just found this funny as someone on the aroace spectrum who witnessed this discourse twice. #radiorose #(I don't ship the rest of these I'm just tagging them for the engagement) #radiostatic #radiohusk #radioapple #radiodust #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #asexual #aromantic #nyanbles

[natjennie]

i think mostly we as a culture need to stop pretending media is for us and instead recognize that it's for the people making it. "the show didn't do the thing I wanted it to" is so not the point. did it do what the people making it wanted it to do? did it tell the story they were trying to tell? than it was successful. if that doesn't align with what you wanted to happen, don't get up in arms about it. don't badmouth the creators and throw a tantrum. that's what fan works are for. the text is the text, and it told the story it was telling. you wouldn't be like "ugh shakespeare is insane for act v btw like there was no reason for juliet to kill herself she should've just waited and then her and romeo could have been together wtf this ruined the whole play" like no!!! the themes were there the set-up was there the foreshadowing was there shakespeare did what he intended to. just because it wasn't a happy ending and just because you thought it should've went differently doesn't mean it was bad. read a fic where juliet lives and move on.

#this is about ghosts but honestly fandom in general #stop pretending the creators of things owe you certain story lines. they're making it not you #i explained it like this to my sister: #imagine you're reading a book and there are sort of hints and scenes that you take to interpret a character as gay #you cite quotes and talk about the themes and the impact of your interpretation #and then at the end of the book the character comes out as asexual. #and then a lot of those scenes and quotes that you were using as evidence for your interpretation- #now they could be construed to have been pointing towards them being ace all along #just because it wasnt the end you fabricated in your head based on your understanding of the hints #doesn't mean it wasnt always the writers plan from the beginning. #AND it doesnt mean you can't keep imagining a world where they're gay instead #it just means that the writer was leaving those clues to point you towards the ending #and you interpreted the clues differently #bbc ghosts #ghosts spoilers #bc like. if last resort was the ending #you could 'read' the whole series with the understanding that they weren't going to leave the house #and the foreshadowing would add up #but now with the special. you can go back and 'read' the series with the understanding that they leave #and it still all adds up. the foreshadowing was there it just meant something different than you thought. #stories have beginnings middles and ends #you predetermined the ending while still in the middle and got mad when you weren't right. #does that make sense?

[magnusmadness]

hey friendly reminder to the entire TMA fandom that jonathan sims, the archivist, is asexual. he does not have sex with anyone. this is canon and stated in the show. please don’t erase that aspect of his character. please don’t erase asexuality representation.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #tma martin #tma jon #jmart #tma jmart #asexuality #asexual #queer #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #asexual visibility #i really don’t want to believe it comes from an acephobic place when i see people do it #i would like to believe people are just unobservant or miss it somehow #but jon is ace. it’s mentioned numerous times. #and it’s not even a case of being an ace person who still has sex #he does not #it is said #please i’m begging. #stop erasing his asexuality

[keepthetension]

this was made especially for those of us who cut ties with our shitty families, huh

i cried so much this whole episode. i know that i can't be in that house and be who i am at the same time, but the guilt and shame never really go away. i love that this episode said, wholeheartedly: fuck what society says, you should be wherever allows you to be happiest

anyway! you always hear that family estrangement is rare in asian communities, but i did it! and you can do it, too! dump your shitty family! i believe in you~

#tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #it's incredible like i don't think i fully realized how ashamed i feel until this episode had me ugly crying into my blankie #especially because the abuse was invisible and people say: oh everyone's family says harsh things! it's because they care! they love you! #and no matter how hard you try to explain the magnitude of what was done to you people still shrug and say but they're *family* #not that there was ZERO physical abuse but like. that's just How It Is in the community i grew up in so it's not a Reason reason #and that's all aside from all that's expected of me as the child of an asian family (that i am simply doing none of) #FUCK i guess i just compartmentalized all of this so securely i didn't think it could bleed out anymore #thanks tsukutabe. i guess? #this show is RELENTLESSLY coming for me this season too like explicitly stated asexual rep? a treat for me personally! #idk i never expected an asian drama to be so clear about this especially because kasuga's abuse was invisible too #and the idea of not sacrificing yourself for your parents is COUNTER to what you're supposed to do #i am just VERY EMOTIONAL right now #i love kasuga so much and it was rough to see her going through it but i am SO HAPPY that she's accepted and loved