#THEY MEANT SO MUCH TO ME I DON'T THINK YALL UNDERSTAND.

[archived-lehkonen]

"good stick phillip!"

"good stick lehky!"

#artturi lehkonen #phillip danault #habs #THEY MEANT SO MUCH TO ME I DON'T THINK YALL UNDERSTAND.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I just wanted to say that the way you characterize and talk about Miguel has actually really helped me with thinking about how to write for him 😭 genuinely I love the way you describe him as an actual like person and not just some sex addict or someone who's extremely distant and cold. I hope you continue writing mild Miguel because it's so refreshing compared to all the other shit I see 😭💕

THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS A MIGUEL SAFE SPACE AND LIKE- CAN I BE REAL FOR A SECOND???

MIGUEL ISN'T AN ASSHOLE YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST MEAN - A.K.A -

My Defense & Evidence of a Milder, Non-aggressive Sympathetic Miguel O'hara.

[This is a half-break down half rant about Mild Miguel, when we see Miguel's true nature, and what fandom gets wrong about him. I have my evidence.

this is shorter than my usual posts but I'm going absolute apeshit Miguel Mode by the end so sorry you have to see that.]

I think Miguel and Hobie are the two most complex characters in the film. Like - both of them equally.

It's just really easy to explain one over the other.

I feel this way because every character we see in the entire movie - Miles, Gwen, Peter, Jess, Rio, Jeff, The Spot, everyone - is forthcoming and clear about their intentions and motive throughout the movie.

When we're watching the movie the first time, we understand Miles motive, and Peter's, and Gwen. In real time. It's there and stated. Miles wants to save his dad, Peter wants to be a better mentor, Gwen just wants peace basically.

But when we're watching for the first time - we have no idea what Hobie OR Miguel is capable of until they do it.

They are the two we're surprised by. (And they're also exact opposites who somehow don't seem to be complete adversaries)

They're the only two within the film who we are left to speculate their motive, their drive, and what they'll do next.

They're the only two in the film who are truly meant to catch us off guard with their behavior.

Leading up to Hobie's big twist, there was a LOT of misdirection. I think the same is true for Miguel...but like..the fandom isn't picking up on the misdirection AT ALL.

I have a lot of ideas and thoughts about Miguel and his character and honestly I think it's the exact opposite of what the fandom sees.

But when its's Hobie, it's very easy to understand him, just read the wiki on Punk and you're good.

But I don't think anyone has look closer at Miguel yet.

I genuinely believe that the reason Miles got away was because Miguel went soft.

He was watching the videos of Gaby to remind himself why he was doing this - why he had to stand his ground, but when Miles started panicking, and begging to know how much time he had left - Miguel slipped up. He went soft.

And he told him 'two days'.

You can see it in Miguel's face when Miles is asking.

That's not the face of a man considering assault. That's not anger. He's wavering.

He didn't have to tell Miles how long he had left. But he did - why? Cause he thought 'I'd kill for two days with Gabby. A lot of people get less warning about death - Maybe he can spend those two days with his fath-'

and then Miles is like 'word?? two days to stop you?? iight im out also fuck yall' - which understandable have a nice day

But like......Miguel wouldn't have said it if he knew it would fuck him over. He didn't KNOW Miles was radicalized cause he didn't know Hobie had spoken to him. He thought that telling him might convince him. If he knew Miles was gonna run - there's no need to tell him anything.

He could've lied and said "I DON'T KNOW. But maybe let's talk about this."

But he didn't. He slipped up.

He's SOFT. Everytime he's mean, or angry - He has to think about it. Like when he looked at Hobie - and thought about it. He has to MAKE himself do it. It isn't natural to him.

Nobody else in the room was gonna answer Miles. Miles wouldn't have known. But Miguel told him two days. And because of that, that specific slip-up, Miles is trying to save his dad.

Why? Because he's SOFT. CAPITAL S SOFT.

Miguel is not a raging monster. Or aggressive. Or manipulative.

He's a guy who thinks he's holding the universe together with duct tape and a kid is in front of him begging to know how long they have left with their father and he tells them and because of that they get away and now everything he worked for is gonna emplode in his face because he had a SOFT SPOT FOR A KID AGAIN AND DID SOMETHING HE SHOULDN'T AGAIN AND TOLD HIM AND NOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA DIE AGAIN BECAUSE HE MESSED WITH THE MULTIVERSE AGAIN FUCK-

Like...yeah- he snapped. A normal person would snap. I've snapped for way less and a lot of other people have.

Granted, we don't go mauling children.

I don't know, I just feel like he's an incredibly layered character.

Because when he's ranting and screaming at Gwen like an irritated school teacher we're already like 'oh fuck you dude but also fuck you ;)'

so when he's right there doing things like this - we don't see it. The same way we don't see Hobie's stealing - because we think we have him figured out.

We don't see Miguel's tenderness.

Because we assume we know who he is - he's cold and aggressive and rude and hates Miles,

but like...is he really?

Miles is getting upset - and the whole conversation leading up to it Miguel has talked to him from a far, hands when Miles can see them. He's not trying to stand over him, or intimidate him. Miguel knows he's scary. He knows how to be scary.

He isn't trying to scare Miles. The exact opposite. He's trying to comfort him.

And when Miles starts lashing out - Miguel is genuinely surprised. That isn't the look of someone who THINKS he's about to hurt this kid.

He's telling Miles, hands up "Hey, sorry. I'm not trying to hurt you." He immediately lets go, backs up.

I just---- FUCK, PEOPLE THE MAN IS STANDING RIGHT THERE THATS MILD MIGUEL LOOK AT HIM

If you really really think Miguel is naturally aggressive, or angry, or cold -

If you write him that way -

I ask that you rewatch the leading up to Miles' escape. Look at his body language. Watch him, and look at his face. That's all I ask.

I just kjsjrghjkSIGHIDDGU I CAN'T STAND FOR THIS INJUSTICE AND EMOTIONAL ILLITERACY

HES NOT A GOOD GUY BUT LIKE....HE'S ... THE ONE YALL ARE SERVING...COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MAN.

He's SOFT. The same way he caved for Gwen after a little pushing. He caved for Miles after a little pushing. That's why he told him two days. SOFT

MILD MIGUEL, SOFT MIGUEL, WANTS TO DO THE HARD THING BUT FUCK HE CAN'T DO IT MIGUEL, HAS TO STAND COMPLETELY STILL AND UNMOVING TO NOT CAVE TO MAYDAY MIGUEL, MIGUEL WHO LOVES PEOPLE BUT KEEPS HIS DISTANCE AND SHUTS HIS MOUTH BECAUSE PEOPLE GET HURT MIGUEL MIGUEL MIGUEL

I'm going to go Miguel Mode.

If understanding Hobie was a house, the fandom is standing out on the road.

If understanding Miguel was a house, the people aren't even in the same neighborhood. We're in the next state over. Other side of the globe. Off base by like 12 zipcodes and 4 times zones

Mild Miguel. Please tell me you're seeing this.

Am I crazy for thinking that the slip up - of telling Miles two days - wasn't out of stupidity but PITY? SYMPATHY?

Because Miguel thinks getting to spend two whole days with some you'll lose is a BLESSING to him - not a curse.

Even though to ANY non-traumatized person - it would be a curse.

...... yo

Miguel stepped into Gabriellas life because he didn't want her to lose a father. He KNOWS losing a father hurts.

So when Miles is there in front of him, talking about not wanting to lose his father - Miguel KNOWS how he feels. Gabby didn't want to lose her dad either.

Miguel UNDERSTANDS. He's a FATHER -

HE KNOWS HE'S BEING THE BAD GUY HE KNOWS ITS WRONG NOT TO STEP IN THATS WHY HE STEPPED IN FOR GABRIELLA IN THE FIRST PLACE THIS ISN'T THE PERSON HE WANTS TO BE OR THOUGHT HE'D BECOME YOU PEOPLE ARE MEAN AND HORNY -

I- I can't even i'm sorry I -

I have a longer post about this in the works like breaking down all of his body language from his moments with MJ and Hobie and like teverything

but ITS NOT EVEN LIKE I THINK HE'S RIGHT I JUST CANT STAND PEOPLE BEING THIS WRONG ABOUT IT I CANT

If you see him as aggressive or cold this post isn't meant to be an attack. I am just down bad for Mild Miguel and I'm going delirious with hunger and starvation for him

#Justice4MildMiguel Maybe I'm huffing copium but also i know im fucking not he's RIGHT THERE

[And if you hate Miguel like hate hate him Moche says dishonor on you dishonor on your cow dishonor your family and your land in the name of Aia Paec Almighty]

If you made it this far....Imsorry you had to see me that way I don't know what came over me here's a picture of Hobie to help me calm down.

(aka Hobie judging the fuck outta me in my head)

I need a glass of water. Bye.

#I may...have a problem #THIS IS A RANT #miguel o'hara #spiderman #atsv #spider man #spider man 2099 #spiderman 2099 #across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #miguel ohara #atsv miguel #miguel x reader #miguel x oc #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x oc #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x oc #miguel ohara x you #miguel o'hara x you #miguel x y/n #miguel ohara x y/n #atsv analysis #mild miguel #miles morales

[desafinado]

𓆩♡𓆪 oblivious crushes hcs

their crush on you is as clear as day, but you seem to be wearing sunglasses

°｡⋆ kaveh, alhaitham, kaeya x reader (separately)

°｡⋆ fluff, maybe a bit ooc alhaitham, lots of touchy/clingy :( and some angst in kaeya's part

note: i haven’t gone too far into sumeru yet D: (purely bc of laziness and college) so that’s why alhaitham might be a bit ooc… but! i hope yall enjoy, i had fun. (ps. this was inspired by my short convo with @kana-dayo , i hope u don't mind the tag just tell me if you want me remove it!!)

kaveh ♡

it threw for him a loop the first time. you were both walking down the port at sunset when he asked if you liked him, and you said of course you love him and you couldn’t ask for a better friend.

he thought you had rejected him when and was genuinely heartbroken for a day, until you visited the next day acting as if everything was fine.

he did not know how to proceed, but he did with caution… when he realized, you genuinely did not understand, he decided to build up the romance before asking you again.

he started making it known to you (and everyone else in the room) that he wanted to spend time with you.

“alhaitham, if you could give us a moment or tw-” “no.” “we’re having dinner out then, dear, lets go.”

of course, he would never do anything that might make you uncomfortable, the moment you express any discomfort or hesitance, he backs off.

that being said, you have never really done such, most times you’re even encouraging him

“kaveh… hugs now please :( “

and how can he not deny you?

speaking of which, he also tried to make more gentle subtle touches, taking your hand when you both walked, placing a hand on the small of your back, hugs that lasted just a second too long.

by the end of it he was extraordinarily clingy, one of his favorite moments is when your head is on his lap and he gets to caress your head.

he acts nonchalantly about it, and so do you. little did you know was that he never did that with anyone else.

“what do you mean kaveh doesn’t like hugging? we spend hours cuddling on the couch..”

to be honest he doesn’t really think much of it either, touching you is like second nature to him. you don’t mind either, because for some odd reason, it just feels right.

he’s almost certain that you like him too, but he’s too afraid to confirm it. he’d much rather stay like this in some sort of limbo between friends and lovers.

but eventually, it eats him up. he needs some sort of closure, even if it meant the collapse of his lovey-dovey facade.

everything’s in place. he had gone through all the scenarios, he knew you were in a good mood, and alhaitham was all the way in sumeru city. everything was perfect for him to make his move, all he needed was you.

“kaveh, what’s all this?”

a picnic blanket was spread out on the grass, a strawberry shortcake, sandwiches and wine laid on top. kaveh stood before it, his familiar smile inviting you to come closer. “ah, i have to admit, it is something a bit special so, please have a seat.”

you follow his advice and gently rest on the blanket, careful not to disturb kaveh’s work. he does the same and sighs. “hm… is this an anniversary or celebration of some sort? did you finally pay off your debt?” you start to ask excitedly, getting a bit ahead of yourself. kaveh simply shakes his head, chuckling softly.

“no, dear. on the contrary, if this all falls through, it could be my funeral.”

you give him a curious glance, tilting your head. he takes both his hands in yours and squeezes them gently.

“nothing that serious, do you remember when i asked you if you liked me?”

“yes… and i still do, if that’s what your concerned about.”

“when i said that, i meant to ask if you liked me as more than just a friend.”

…

…

“you mean… like family? like sibli-”

“no, no, dear god no. i mean like… lovers.”

your face turns red at the mention of that word, lovers. it implied romantic love, of course; you weren’t that dense. he’s looking straight into your eyes, awaiting a response, but your lips feel as though they’ve frozen in place. a few more seconds of silence pass, and his lips purse into a heavy frown.

“ah, i’m sorry, if you don’t… i just couldn’t go on like this, pretending that we were something more, living in ignorant bliss. i truly am sorry.”

“no, wait. kaveh…”

you finally build up the courage to speak, letting go of his hands and caressing his cheek. if there’s something you can’t ignore, its the way he’s putting himself down.

“i-i like you that way too, i just didn’t want to believe it either. i… i didn’t want to delude myself into that, so i never entertained the possibility that-”

his tender lips find yours in a kiss, interrupting your rambling along with any doubt the two of you had left. just like all of his other touches, the kiss felt right, familiar, and simply satisfying.

alhaitham ♡

feelings, specifically love, are a far too strong force that many times they most certainly overcome any logic of even the most robotic of personalities; enter alhaitham.

normally, he would be upfront about these sorts of things, giving them the ultimatum. letting them choose to accept or reject his feelings.

but this time, he didn’t want to give you that chance. he needed you to accept him, he couldn’t imagine any other possibility.

so what does he do? he takes a chance with the whole concept of “romancing” in order to win your heart.

he makes an effort to be around you more, he’ll listen to your long winded rants about the most random topics.

“so, why do you care about this again?” “i just do, i’m not quite sure why honestly.” “that’s understandable, please go on.”

he’s never been one to care about how others might perceive him, how others might react to his actions, but he cares so much about you and he wants you to trust him.

once he notices the way your lips curl up when he enters a room or the way you look at him when you feel a bit overwhelmed, he takes this as a sign that he can try being a bit more touchy.

he never really understood the appeal of it, until he felt how warm you were, how your skin brushing against his made him feel a bit more understood and loved.

and you don’t mind one bit, in fact, you’re happy that he has you to lean on (literally and metaphorically)

but you imagine his roommates' surprise to find alhaitham on the couch cuddled up with someone he had never even met.

“wake them up, and you will sleep outside.”

he truly believes he’s being subtle, but everyone (well those who have the courage to) teases him about it.

he brushes it off, but warns them not to tell you or else…

however, when he starts moving onto more overt and blatant shows of affections, he is sorely disappointed to realize that you are not catching on.

he’d gift you flowers before every outing, call you cute nicknames, and even be more honest with his own feelings.

a polite smile, a thank you, and enthusiastic nod was all you ever responded with.

he was disappointed in himself, he thought he must’ve done something wrong, that he must’ve made you uncomfortable.

he needs to confront you about this in his own way, for his sake and yours.

“it’s you…”

his voice rings out like a bell in a cathedral, snapping you back into reality. he had requested for you to meet him at one of the gazebos near the akademiya. stars had been showered upon the night sky, and it was all you could look at, until alhaitham’s voice, of course. you turn around and chuckle at his awe-stricken face.

“glad to see you too. your letter sounded quite urgent, is something the matter?”

upon seeing you, he can’t control his movements, rushing towards you and taking you into a dramatic hug. you’re quick to hug him back, offering him any and all support he might need. he buries his head into your shoulder, taking in your scent, and touch, enjoying it while it lasts. his voice almost cracks as he speaks.

“yes. i’m sorry for making you uncomfortable with my… advances. i understand if you never want to see me again.”

the shock is almost enough to knock you over, but you simply pull away and look at him with deep concern. you didn’t know where he was coming from, and you had never seen him like this.

“advances? what sort of advances?”

“the romantic ones?”

“oh! towards who? i don’t mind at all, really.”

its his turn widen his eyes, he closes his eyes and pauses. he needs to pick his next words carefully, he really wants this to be a swift death, no point in dragging his heart against the pavement.

“towards you…? the one i love is you.”

he finally admits, hoping you finally understand. he’s run out of words to say, ways to express his unwavering love for you. you flicker between his eyes and lips, confirming if what he says is true, and what he feels is real; after a moment, you speak up.

“i’m sorry, i never… i knew you were opening up, but i didn’t stop to think…”

you calmly take him back into your arms, letting his head rest back on your shoulder. you stroke his hair slowly, trying to soothe him. “i was already so happy that you seemed to be opening up to me, i didn’t realize you meant it in that way. i didn’t want to push it any further than necessary.” he allows you to touch and pamper him, allowing himself the privilege of your tender care.

“i see. so you weren’t comfortable with it? you’re not comfortable with me…?”

“no, alhaitham. i’m more than comfortable with you, and i’d do all those things with you again.”

you blush, understanding the implications of what you had just said. you just opened yourself to him, laid yourself out for him to accept or reject. you close your eyes, bracing for what comes next, when you suddenly feel yourself being lifted up and spun around gently.

“alhaitham!”

“that’s all i needed to hear, darling. from this day on, we can do all those things and more… again and again, everyday.”

kaeya ♡

he likes to tease, that is no question. making others red in the face, in anger or embarrassment, is a pastime of his.

but why is it that you of all people, his one and only crush, remain unaffected?

its not like you even have a snarky remark back or try to hide your embarrassment, you simply let it pass as though it was the cool summer breeze against your skin.

“oh my… shouldn’t you take me out to dinner first?” “uh why?”

you surely enjoyed his company and the silly jokes he’d make, even though there would be times you just didn’t understand what he was talking about.

other than that, he’d often be extra chivalrous towards you, holding the door for you, taking your hand as you walk down the stairs… but i mean that’s how knights just are, right?

though you can often feel his overprotective step out, especially when it comes to your safety, you once again chalk it to him in his cavalry captain mode.

only his closest friends and allies can detect the minor difference in his behavior around you, except you, of course. it doesn’t bother him, because it only solidifies his love for you, how serious he is about you.

sometimes he truly is just amazed with the way your mind works to rule out all romantic possibilities, its like the notion of love does not even exist to you.

he doesn’t mind it one bit, though. if anything, he wishes to be the person who introduces you to love.

he knows he can reveal his feelings at any moment, but he wants you to figure it out for yourself, that epiphany of love is something he feels everyone should experience…

that is until he catches you blushing with another person.

“oh yeah! they’ve been talking to them the entire night… they’re really hitting it off, i don’t-”

every word after that is just muffled noise to him. he didn’t understand the feeling coursing through his vein. it was a poignant mixture of jealousy, sadness, and disappointment in himself.

he immediately steps out of angel’s share, not even bothering with a drink to drown his feelings. he thought he was special to you, the way you were to him.

that’s when the creaking of the tavern doors catches his attention, revealing you.

“oh, hi.”

your voice was timid in the chilly night atmosphere, the silence between you and kaeya almost deafening. he huffs and crosses his arms, trying to pretend as if he hadn’t just felt his heart rip, shatter and

“hey, so what are you doing here? i know you’re not one for taverns, most specially on a wednesday night.”

he doesn’t miss a beat, starting his investigation. your eyes widen at his unusually stern demeanor; its not like you haven’t seen this side of him, but you don’t know have a clue as to where it's coming from. you start to sober up, feeling the excitement and adrenaline of the bar leave you. “honestly, i had nothing better to do… and i was trying to get out of my comfort zone.”

he raises an eyebrow at your seemingly simple explanation; you didn’t have any reason to lie, and to be fair, it wasn’t like he had a right to know anyways. his posture relaxes as gives you his arm, gesturing for you to take it; you, having no reason to deny him, take his arm in yours. you both start walking down the streets, no definite destination in mind.

“Is something wrong, kaeya?”

the glazed look in your eyes is something he can’t ignore, and he knows you won’t ignore his furrowed eyebrows either. he sighs letting the cold air entering his lungs, as if numbing himself before the storm truly begins.

“yes, actually there is. could i be a burden to you?”

“kaeya… you know you can always talk to me about your feelings, you’re no burden to me.”

a bitter chuckle escapes his lips, acting as if he truly had nothing left to lose. “that’s why i love you, you know? ah… i thought i’d be saying this in a drunken stammer or you’d hear from rosaria or lisa, but i’m more sober than ever and… i love you so much it hurts.”

suddenly, his touch feels much colder than it ever has, sending a shiver down your spine. you pause for a moment, the adrenaline and heat rising back up.

“k-kaeya, wait… i love you too. i’m-”

“you needn’t spare my feelings or lie. perhaps it was my fault for letting my pride get the best of me, and now you’ve been swept away by someone else, someone who makes you blush.”

your eyebrows curved into a straight line, clearly baffled by kaeya’s assumptions. yes, you were a bit oblivious when it came to love, so you feel like you’d take note if “someone swept you away”.“kaeya, i have no idea what you’re talking about, but if you’re referring to my demeanor in the bar, i was…” you face only gets redder by the moment. “i-i don’t hold my alcohol very well…”

kaeya pauses for a second, his lips parting in a small o-shape. he feels like such a fool for jumping to assumptions so quickly, but he quickly regains his composure realizing something far more crucial, a smirk plastered onto his face.

“i see. so you like me after all? and i’ve finally managed to fluster you”

“n-no, you didn’t! the alcohol just hasn’t-”

“aha, so you do love me? dear, just say the word, and i’m all yours.”

requests are open!! please do not reposts on other sites.

#genshin imagines #genshin x reader #kaveh #kaveh x reader #kaeya x reader #alhaitham x reader #genshin hcs #genshin impact

[stxrvel]

the outbreak pt. 2

summary: you've kinda been into therapy and turns out it worked?

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4k

warnings: nothing really, i think. this is actually kinda fluffly. i was in a good mood.

note: i didn't planned on publishing the second part so soon, but i had a lot of free time and a mind running wild. still didn't liked that much how this chapter turned out tho. hoping i could make another part to see what happened to my girl wanda! see you guys in the next fic, love yall. the feedback is always appreciated! thank u for reading.

(if a part 3 never appears, just know this is an open ending)

part 1, extra: 1.5

“So, how've you been doing these past few weeks?”

“You don't have to make small talk to me, Natasha. I enjoy the silence.”

“I ask genuinely. I barely even see you in the halls of the Complex. We only really talk on missions and we've had three since that happened.”

“Don't worry about me.”

“I just want to know how you're doing.”

You turned your head to look at the woman sitting next to you. The uncomfortable leather chair you two were in did nothing to appease the constant headache you'd been having these past few days. Natasha watched you with an arched eyebrow and her hands in her lap. You knew she was right, everyone was always right when it came to you. Apparently Bucky was right when he said everyone knew but you, and that spectrum extended to everyone always seemed to know how you were doing if only by the movement of your eyelids.

That's why you had begun to avoid people.

You spent more time in your room and in the Complex gym, doing research assignments for Fury that involved leaving the building, the three missions with Natasha (fully mandatory and against your will) and sometimes in the lab with Bruce when he needed someone to hold his canisters full of chemical liquids.

Fury and Bruce were the only people you tolerated lately. No funny looks, no awkward questions, no innuendo; just what they needed and goodbye.

But, that time, you did have to go out with Natasha. You weren't given the option to come on your own and it was understandable. A little bit. Even though you were trying to make amends for what you had done, not only on the mission a few months ago but also for what you had done to yourself for years, you didn't know that recovery meant you had to have a watcher on you at all times.

And what's worse, that watchman came with a bird.

“I'm fine, Nat,” you replied to her liking finally.

A short laugh from across the room caught your attention.

“Tell that to the tantrum you threw Fury so we wouldn't come with you.”

You gave Clint Barton a hard look, almost lying on the other longer couch as if he were admiring the earth from a cloud. He had one arm over his eyes which he had raised slightly to give you a mocking look, and one leg bent so that his foot was on the couch.

“I didn't throw a tantrum.”

“Fury, please, I know how to take care of myself. I don't need two bodyguards behind me all day. I'm fully capable of getting there and back on my own.”

Clint's poor imitation of your voice caused you an undercurrent of irritation, but you easily made the decision not to let it come out against him. It turns out that sometimes you could just shut up instead of exploding against others, crazy, right?

“First, I don't talk like that.”

“That's right. Lousy imitation, Clint,” Natasha had your back.

“Second, I only asked him once to let me come alone. I didn't beg him like a fool.”

“Sam told me otherwise,” Clint countered and you frowned. You felt the smile on his mouth.

“Sam's an idiot.”

“Sam's on Bucky's side,” Natasha mused.

And then, an awkward silence.

That was something you hated and still couldn't get used to. When people would say Bucky's name around you, the atmosphere would get strangely tense and suddenly everyone would go silent. It felt strange at first, but when Wanda did it you understood what was going on.

“Stop doing that,” you grumbled with a grimace. “I'm not fucking marble. I'm not going to crack from hearing his name.”

“We didn't say anything,” Natasha spoke again, her innocent little dove expression getting on your nerves.

Count to ten, Y/N, don't forget…

“You guys always go silent after you say his name like he's going to spontaneously explode. We're adults, you know? There are things to get over.”

“Wow,” you heard Clint mutter.

“Shut up, bird.”

Clint made a negative, game-like sound when you gave an incorrect answer.

“Three points off. Natasha and Clint are in the lead,” the man snorted as he rose from his position on the couch. You couldn't do more than give him another look, waiting for him to evaporate into thin air.

Natasha stirred next to you looking around at her surroundings, the dark colors of the room almost absorbing all the natural light coming through the few windows that were in the building.

“You haven't talked to him yet?”

“No.”

“Do you plan to?”

“I don't know. Maybe not.”

“Why?” Clint inquired, suddenly more interested in the subject.

“Because I don't feel like I give a s-”

Clint made the sound again.

“Two points off.”

“Clint,” Natasha reproached him with her tone of voice and the aforementioned only flashed her a smile. “It's been several weeks since you were last together. And you've had a lot of improvement-”

“That's debatable.”

“… don't you feel ready to talk to him?” Natasha questioned, completely ignoring Clint's intrusion into the conversation, again.

“I really don't know,” you admitted. “She told me I'm on the right track too, but just the thought of seeing him again after all those things he said… that I said…”

You sighed. Your gaze focused on the dark floor, a bluish-green hidden behind a black carpet with red, the most horrible carpet you had ever seen in your life.

“It scares me. I don't think I can do it.”

The woman let out an affirmative sound from her throat and the room became silent once again.

You almost let your mind begin to wander into memories, conjuring up the times when you felt like you were on top of the world when you were really about to hit rock bottom. But you quickly focused on where you were and what you were going to do there.

You were going to pick up Wanda. You had wanted to do it alone because it had been several weeks since you had last seen her. The last thing you told her was that you were going on another mission with Bucky and that you hoped it wouldn't end as badly as the argument you had that half the building heard. After that, she left.

She had made the decision to come and talk to Stephen Strange and had told you a few days before you left on what would be your last (official) field mission. She left the Complex the day after you left and all you had heard from her since then was that she was fine, that Strange hadn't locked her in a dungeon and that she was learning many things about her magic, especially how to control it to have power in things like her dreams. You still didn't know what those lucid dreams she had been having for a while had been due to, but judging from the letter you had received yesterday where she asked you to go to the Sanctum Sanctorum, it looked like she had gotten some kind of response.

When you told Fury what you were going to do, he didn't hesitate for a second to say that he would ask the Wonder Duo to accompany you. Clearly you balked, not as many times as Sam and Clint implied, but you didn't expose any more complaints to the Director's authoritative voice.

So, there you three were. Waiting for the wizards to appear from somewhere as you waited in one of the most horribly decorated rooms you'd ever seen.

“Sorry for the delay.”

The new male voice that echoed in the room startled you. You cringed and turned your head every which way until you came upon Strange's figure standing at the entrance to the room, not far from where you three were standing. Natasha and Clint remained unperturbed and you suppressed your desire to complain about the intrusion. You were the only one who hadn't heard him coming, apparently.

“Y/N!” you heard Wanda's voice.

You shot up from the uncomfortable couch the moment you saw her emerge from behind Strange's body. Quickly, you met halfway and melted into a big hug. You shifted from side to side trying to keep your strength and tears held back because of how much you had missed her.

“You look great!” was what she said to you the moment you parted.

“Don't lie to her, Wanda,” Clint exclaimed, and shortly you heard Natasha hiss in his direction.

“I've had better days.”

“I can't believe the day is here already! You have to tell me everything. What happened on the mission? What happened with Bucky?”

Again, the unpleasant silence.

“Why are you two making those faces?”

Wanda was watching the Wonder Duo right behind you and you couldn't help but let out a big exhale.

You turned to look at the only person who really gave a damn about your life.

“Thanks for everything, Strange.”

The man nodded in your direction. “It was my pleasure. Hopefully everything will be better from now on.”

Wanda waved goodbye to him as you turned around and pointed the other two people in the room toward the exit.

The other goodbyes were short and you were soon finding yourselves exiting through one of the portals opened by Strange, where you met the entrance to the Complex head on.

“Ah, magic. It makes life so much simpler,” Clint commented before starting to walk in the direction of the common room.

Natasha had the decency to bid you farewell and followed the bird's path at a tight pace.

“I thought they were going to join us,” Wanda mused, watching their figures walk away.

“No, they were just my nannies.”

“Nannies?” you saw her frown.

You watched the grimace on her face and almost have the urge to ask Sam to come give her a rundown of what had happened in the last few weeks since that last mission, but you mentally pulled back and offered a small smile to the confused woman in front of you.

“We have a lot to talk about.”

---

“Have you eaten today?”

The haze that clouded your mind slowly disappeared, your head barely registering the movements your body made to stay conscious. The soles of your shoes were too hard for your liking and you'd had to go sit down while you waited for Wanda to return. You didn't know how long it had been since that, but it seemed to be long enough for Steve Rogers to approach the cafeteria table where you were sitting with a tray containing the day's food.

“You look like you could use some of this.”

The blond gently pushed the tray until it was on your side of the table, and the smell of beef stew didn't take long to reach your lungs. It smelled good, to be honest. You looked down at the food and moved your hands to grab the silverware.

“Thank you.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm just waiting for Wanda. She went to talk to Fury.”

“I saw her coming in. She said she had a lot of things to tell.”

“She told me exactly the same thing.”

“And did you get to talk about anything before she left?”

You glanced at the fork in your left hand before looking up and meeting Steve's unconcerned face. You had learned very quickly that it wasn't too hard to get to know the captain in your position as opposed to how unreachable he looked to the rest of the population. He was a rough and tough man, but he would do things like bring lunch to a female shipmate who had a blank stare and sit down and try to chat with her.

He was good. Steve was good.

But he wasn't sneaky.

“If you want to know the verdict, talk to Strange. He's a close friend of Tony's.”

The man only sighed, his shoulders slumping in time with his breathing as if he'd been in alert mode all day.

“I didn't mean to sound so…. opportunistic.”

You rolled your eyes.

“You didn't sound opportunistic, Steve, you're just bad at trying to hide your curiosity,” you expressed with a small smile, but the man didn't look convinced by your words. “She's fine. She looks fine. She sounds fine. Whatever they had done, talked about or practiced, it surely paid off. I don't think you have anything to worry about.”

“She looked really scared before she left. You didn't see her. She asked me several times to communicate with you because she didn't know if it was a good idea to do that anymore.”

“She asked you that?”

“Yes. But the mission was very delicate, we couldn't risk it.”

You nodded in your direction, your gaze wandering back over the food.

“I just want her to be okay,” Steve mumbled and you almost missed the way his face contracted. His blue eyes found yours. “She's been through too much throughout her life and now this. It's like a joke of the universe.”

“She'll be fine. She has us. If she needs strength, she'll have plenty.”

Steve smiled, and then you took your first bite of beef stew.

You grimaced.

The blond frowned.

“Was the smell better than the taste, again?”

You nodded with your mouth full. Your hands went to the glass of water in the corner of the tray and you didn't hesitate to down the meat with all the liquid in it. You were almost never lucky enough to taste good lunches in that cafeteria.

“FRIDAY,” you heard Steve say.

“Yes, Captain.”

“Can you order a 12-inch tuna Subway on whole wheat bread with all the vegetables except the bell peppers and olives, please.”

“Right away, Captain.”

“That wasn't necessary,” you turned to the man as his gaze focused on yours.

“You can't go without eating.”

“I would have been able to place the order.”

“Mmm, really?”

“Of course! Do you think I waste the opportunity to spend Tony's money every chance I get? Even, I would have ordered more.”

“Oh, seriously?” Steve had a mischievous grin on his face and you furrowed your brow at his strange expression. “FRIDAY, make it three.”

You half-opened your lips.

“Sure thing, Captain.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“What's with the attitude? It's Tony's money, isn't it?”

You hadn't heard that kind of boldness from Steve very often, and when it happened it was a complete event to witness. The man was a stickler, everyone knew him that way. He didn't understand the word rest and most of his free moments were only used to keep reconsidering attack strategies. Steve wasn't one to let loose and go with the flow very often, but when he did it was something to be enjoyed.

“You know he doesn't mind, right?”

And the moment was over.

“No? I thought he still hated me from lying to him about the book.”

“Uhm…” Steve fumbled over his words and you were amused at the way his features scrunched up. “He doesn't hate you. He was just angry. Besides, it's been a long time, he probably doesn't even remember that.”

“I think he's going to remember that until he dies.”

“Steve.”

You froze in place.

Abort mission. Abort mission. 911. Mayday, mayday, mayday.

Steve looked over your shoulder and then back up at you, your eyes on the embroidery of his brown jacket. You tried to keep your expression composed and sent him a smile of assurance that even you couldn't believe. But you couldn't do anything else. You couldn't break down at that moment. Besides, he would most likely ask the blonde to come with him and Steve would go. You wouldn't really have to deal with anything.

“He's really coming,” you heard Steve mutter in your direction.

Your face scrunched up in confusion, and you watched his expression of poorly disguised panic. You had told Steve only once, days ago, that you weren't ready to talk to Bucky at all. And, apparently, he had made it his problem too.

“Are you busy?”

You heard Bucky so close that a shiver ran through your body. It had been weeks since you'd last heard his voice. On that mission.

“No, I was just talking to-”

“Captain.”

But what was this, the all-call-Steve-at-once festival?

You sank back in your seat when you recognized the Director's voice. If he was there, it meant Wanda must be coming with him, and judging by the contractions in Steve's face, going from confused to incredulous to dumbfounded to flushed, your friend was most likely waving him out of there.

“A word, please,” Fury spoke again, and Steve barely let a second pass before he sprung out of his chair like a spring. He gave you a look and you could almost see the apology written in his eyes.

“Buck, I'm sorry- I mean, wait here for me.”

“What?”

“I won't be late, I promise.”

“I can wait for you in the living room…”

“No,” Steve contradicted him sharply. You caught a glimpse of his stiff expression out of the corner of your eye. “Wait for me here, can you?”

You didn't hear an answer, but you guessed it was positive when you saw Steve's face a little more relaxed. He looked back at you and barely gave you a nod before he started walking toward the exit. You turned in your seat to see him, and barely caught a glimpse of Wanda's triumphant face before she hid behind the back of a naive Fury as she saw your gaze on hers.

That woman really had no idea…

The chair Steve was occupying shifted and Bucky appeared in your field of vision. He was looking anywhere in the cafeteria before he was looking at you. And well, that was good, it gave you time to analyze what you had missed in those weeks without any communication.

He clearly looked calmer. Even though you two were forcibly put in an uncomfortable situation, he didn't seem to mind too much. He looked a little tense, you could barely make out a twitch in his jaw, but other than that he was pretty relaxed.

You didn't know how to interpret that.

The last time you had thought about seeing Bucky again (which was that very morning when Natasha brought it up) you thought that one of you would run away without even a second's notice. It seemed that the only one too scared about that reunion was you. Surely Bucky hadn't thought about it for a single moment since the last time you were face to face.

And his hair. He had cut his hair much shorter than last time. Its ends were directed to the ceiling and you could no longer mess it up if you ran your hands through it. It would rearrange itself in seconds. His eyes were still the same, clear and bright as the clear sky, his expression just as stoic and unperturbed, his body leaning slightly to one side with his hands clasped in his lap. Almost everything about him remained the same except for his hair.

And except he couldn't look you in the eye.

You looked down where the tray with the stew was still intact. You didn't have anything else to distract you with so you grabbed a vegetable and popped it in your mouth.

Turning your head away, you missed Bucky's gaze on your face analyzing the grimace of disgust you were trying to hide.

You swallowed hard and grabbed the water bottle so that it almost slipped through your hands. It was empty.

You almost threw up on yourself.

“Are you okay?”

You met his gaze and froze. His wary eyes were on your face.

“Yeah.”

“Doesn't look like that food is good.”

“Because it isn't.”

You shook your head and pushed the tray away from your personal space once and for all.

“Why don't you order something else?”

“Steve already ordered me something.”

“Oh.”

And silence.

You usually enjoyed the quiet moments, when no sound flooded the surroundings other than your own breathing and the ramblings in your head. You could really enjoy your solitude and the quiet it brought with it. But this silence didn't come with solitude, it came with tension, strain, uncertainty.

You didn't know if you felt you should say something or if you felt you should run away. If you stayed you didn't know what to say to him and if you left you didn't know under what excuse.

Bucky's light eyes met yours again after wandering his gaze for a while around the room.

“Wanda's back,” was what he said.

You nodded.

“We came with her this morning.”

“Yes, Steve told me.”

“We don't have to do this, you know.”

His neutral expression turned chaotic for a moment. Then he went back to being unflappable as if nothing.

“We don't have to do what?”

“This. Talk like it's nothing. It's awkward.”

“Ah. You find it awkward?”

You furrowed your brow at his genuine curiosity. For a moment you thought he was being sarcastic, but his eyes detailed your expression intently, waiting for an answer.

“Don't you?”

“Why should I?”

“Can you stop answering with questions, please.”

Bucky averted his gaze. He repeatedly ran his hands over his jeans.

“I'm sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable I'll keep quiet.”

“Still, you don't answer my question.”

“It's not awkward for me,” he finally said, his slightly tilted head pointed in your direction. “It's just normal small talk. Between two people.”

You hummed a nod and your head moved in sync.

“It's easier for you to pretend nothing happened.”

Bucky shook his head, attentive. He narrowed his eyes and it didn't go unnoticed the way you tensed your shoulders as the words left your mouth.

“I never said that.”

“It's just what I can glimpse.”

“What you think you see is not true. I'm not trying to feign insanity.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot you're an expert at knowing what I think,” the words left you before you could process them and give them the proper filter, and you were sure Bucky had noticed the way your composure wavered for barely a second. If he had, he chose to ignore it.

You saw him twist his lips and lower his gaze, as if he suddenly felt distressed even though he wasn't the one who should be worried about something like that.

“You're angry.”

“And why would I be, according to you?”

“Maybe you were expecting a different reaction from me. You don't like what I'm giving you.”

You let out a laugh. “I never thought arrogant was your type.”

Bucky took in your gesture and mimicked it. Seeing a smile on his face after so long brought back images you thought you had sent far out into the ocean of your mind. Maybe you didn't feel your heart racing as it had so many times before, but you definitely felt something different from the fear and dismay that normally accompanied his memory. Even though you didn't want to accept it, you couldn't help but stretch a little towards that new sensation.

“I was joking. I have no idea why you're mad.”

The small smile on your face disappeared, and you allowed your head to wander down the paths of self-healing and self-improvement. Perhaps it was situations like these that your therapist always referred to. Stealthy confrontations that you usually used to avoid like rain, were the perfect moments to divulge a kind of self-reflection and improvement. To, perhaps, make known the emotions and thoughts you used to suppress and keep to yourself, the reason you had ended up that way to begin with. That was supposed to be what people normally did, to talk about their feelings…

So you just let it out.

“I'm not angry. I think I feel… embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed about what?” Bucky cocked his head to one side, his eyes scrutinizing your face as if trying to figure out if you were being serious or not.

“For confronting you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, Bucky. Here's to having you face me and confirming once again that you were right,” you rolled your eyes and took the moment to look anywhere in the cafeteria but into the blue eyes that wouldn't leave yours. “You were always right, I guess. No one else stood up to me like you did and I still lied to you looking you in the eye, wouldn't you feel the same way?”

The movement he made as he shrugged his shoulders drew your gaze, and met you with such a frightening familiarity that you felt old memories and feelings creeping up from the back of your mind to return to the surface. His calm gaze and tension-free body was what you had always been used to, and at that moment it was what you were seeing.

You didn't know how much you missed him until you saw it again.

“It's possible, yes.”

“The point is, knowing that doesn't make it any less complicated. In fact, it's a little harder to cope with. Being aware of the embarrassment… makes you more embarrassed.”

Bucky let out a short laugh. Your gaze didn't leave the way his corners turned up and then how his shoulders moved and his chest contracted in sync with that laugh. You hadn't noticed until that moment the change in the atmosphere around the two of you, much lighter and cozier, not at all hostile and toxic compared to the last few times you were together after the argument.

Mmm, maybe you were liking all that stuff about therapy. To be honest, up until that point you had discerned very few results, although some were quite important. Like, for example, you were able to keep your mind clear of self-destructive thoughts for longer, or that you could look at your past actions and reflect on them, determining clearly what things you were doing wrong and why it was wrong to do them. And there were many, many of them. Not just with the people around you, but more so with yourself.

However, in that moment, having Bucky in front of you and having been able to not only carry on a conversation for more than a minute with him, but also having been able to admit to him how you had felt and show true regret for what happened, you were able to understand that the change was much bigger than you had initially sized it up to be.

“It's serious. It complicates the process for me. That's why I didn't want to see you.”

He nodded without wiping the smile off his face. You could sense the understanding emanating through his gaze and, by the way he straightened his body, you knew he was going to give voice to the thoughts going through his head. Bucky usually kept his opinion of people to himself, he wasn't one to go around highlighting qualities in others unless he was asked or it was necessary for him to say so. Because of this, you could learn to tell when he was going to keep quiet about it and when he was willing to let it all out.

“Still, if it makes you feel any better, I can see you've come too far. Six months ago you wouldn't have said that to my face. I probably would have heard it from Sam who heard it from Clint when he eavesdropped on some conversation of yours with Wanda.”

You were really glad about what he just said, but…. what the fuck?

“Clint eavesdrops on our conversations?”

Bucky went blank. His features froze and the tension emanating from his body enveloped you both.

“Well… I only heard it once. Clint had said he'd upgraded the device for his hearing and was hearing three times as many things as he should. Among those things, he could hear you talking to Wanda in the next room.”

“I don't believe it.”

“There's nothing to tell you for sure that he did it again.”

“And how long ago was that?”

“Mmm, two years, I think.”

“Did he ever say anything to you?”

Bucky didn't answer for a few seconds, his gaze seemed lost in yours, with a solidity and strength too forceful for your tolerance. You suspected the answer was positive, but received the opposite.

“He only told me what had happened. He never told me if he understood anything he heard.”

“Uhm, you're good at getting out of tight spots.”

He gave you another one of those smiles that felt like home.

“I've had years to practice.”

The silence that followed his words was much more welcoming than before. You seemed to be able to move around the masses of air so freely that all the tension in your body could disappear in a gentle breeze.

“I'm sorry this was uncomfortable for you, but it was good to see you. And hearing you.”

“It wasn't that uncomfortable.”

“You're squeezing your legs under the table.”

You looked down, surprised, though you shouldn't be. Bucky had always been good at reading your body language. It was almost like it was his way of communicating. And yes, you were.

“You rocked from side to side. Your hands never stopped clenching in your lap. You were uncomfortable.”

“Still, I don't regret what I said.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

You had a duel of glances and you longed for that comfort you had been missing for so long. During those almost seven months of barely seeing him and not speaking to him, you had learned to appreciate the little moments in life. And you were surprised to think that before you thought you were living your life as you were doing at that moment, the present, but you were not. You learned the cruel difference between existing and living, and it wasn't hard for you to deduce why you had had such complicated moments in your life some time before.

You had never lived anything. You went through your life as a tourist and many times you weren't even in the picture. You tried so hard and constantly to convince yourself otherwise every day that it ended up tiring you out emotionally, and in the process taking everything out on the one person who tried to reach out to help you.

“Buck!” Steve's exclamation echoed throughout the cafeteria, just on time.

You turned to see him in the doorway, his raised hand gesturing for the man in front of you to follow him. Bucky stood up, but didn't leave before turning a glance at you with a warm smile worthy of summer.

“I hope to keep hearing from you more often.”

“We'll see if you're worth it.”

#bucky fanfic #james barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #winter soldier #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x fluff #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #avengers #bucky fluff #bucky x you #marvel #the outbreak

[imdead770]

Dallas with a s/o who lived in NYC too and has a similar accent as him pls🙏🙏 (Also I love love love you’re writing keep doing what you’re doing!!!)

Dallas Winston x Reader - NYC

Authors Note - I have like 3 asks before this but I love this and it means it get to write a NY accent and that's so fun

Sorry for never writing yall

No excuse I'm just lazy 💞

¤ Just a warning this is super stereotypical

¤ I'm sorry I'm from the south I don't know yall so I'm going off stereotypes 😭😭

¤ First of all people can barely understand either of you

¤ I mean everyone else has a southern accent, they're used to that

¤ So an accent that sounds like you're drunk 24/7 isn't exactly easy to understand

¤ If you're both from New York, you already have a lot in common

¤ The fights, the accent, the road rage, the food, all that

¤ Now I'm from the south, I haven't met a lot of New Yorkers

¤ But the ones I have met always have such a resting bitch face

¤ So like whenever someone introduced you to Dal (or the other way around) you both had that same, natural glare

¤ And somehow you both got the 'holy shit, you're a New Yorker too??' message

¤ I don't know how but New Yorkers just know if you're a New Yorker

¤ It's like a 6th sense

¤ So naturally you're both mean to each other

¤ The others are like 'oh shirt they hate each other'

¤ You don't

¤ Like eventually you leave and Dals all

"She ain't bad."

¤ And everyone's all

"You just insulted each other like.. 25 times?"

¤ And he just nods and lights a cigarette like he didn't just meet his second favorite person in this town

¤ Naturally you both see each other at some pizza place

¤ Probably one that's closest to greasy NY pizza

¤ This is meant as a compliment, yall have such good pizza omfg

¤ You both realize just how much you have in common

¤ How thick the air is, the random guy getting his ass beat as you're just minding your business, the fact nobody here can understand certain words you say

¤ You two understand each other

¤ If Dallas would ever open up to someone about his trauma (he wouldn't), it'd be you

¤ He knows you've seen at least a sliver of the same shit he did

¤ Anyways, both of yall love to hype of New York together

¤ Like really play into the stereotypes

"Oh ya', a rat nearly ate m' face off once"

"WHAT??"

"Happen'd to me, too"

¤ You both think it's hilarious

¤ Plus yall love to make your accents thicker to confuse people more

¤ Slur the vowels together, mumble more then you need to, then watch people try to figure out what the fuck you just said

¤ Dal gets all mad if someone asks him to lighten up the accent

¤ I think you both like hanging out together because it reminds the other of home

¤ Like Dal almost forgot what a New Yorker who wasn't him sounded like

¤ Plus if Dal ever met your parents, even though he's rude and kind of dangerous, they might tolerate him more

¤ Yall intumidate so many people omg

¤ Like half of that town are sweet southern people

¤ So seeing two New Yorkers you get the classic

"Ew, they're yankees"

¤ Yes we really do say that 👍

¤ But people get all scared cuz they're like 'omg they're gonna shoot me'

¤ Again, you both think it's the funniest shit

¤ Like being yelled at by a New Yorker is scary enough

¤ But TWO

¤ It's like you two are so intimidating together it's perfect

¤ Of course Dal asks you on a date to some pizza place and you two walk around the block sharing a cigarette

¤ Another thing

¤ You're actually used to the cold and he's so, so grateful for that

¤ Everyone else in Oklahoma gets all shivery the moment it's less then 60

¤ Like you don't complain about it and he loves that so much

¤ Back to the topic

¤ Date goes great

¤ Once you two become a thing you fight a good amount

¤ I mean you're from the North, it's natural (I think?? This might be stereotypical so sorry)

¤ Even people from the South fight with Dal so this isn't any different

¤ But since you're both used to fights the insults are crazy

¤ Like the gangs jaws have dropped hundreds of times with what the two of yall come up with

¤ Like it's the most foul, disturbingly impressive, heart breaking insults

¤ Then the other returns it with a snicker and another just as horrendously good insult

¤ Match made in heaven

#the outsiders #the outsiders headcanons #dallas winston #sodapop curtis #johnny cade #steve randle #two bit mathews #ponyboy curtis #darry curtis #the outsiders x reader #dallas winston hcs #dallas winston x reader #dallas x reader #the outsiders dallas #the outsiders dally #dally winston #dallas winston headcanons

[staytinyville]

Stay Alive (28)

BTS poly!ot7 x Reader

Magical Creatures AU

Series Masterlist

Warnings: smut (MDNI), piv, unprotected sex (we don't do that here),

A/N NOT BETA. Honest opinion yall what you think of my smut lol

Gossip was not the first thing you expected to hear the moment you walked into your office space. It felt even worse when you realized they were talking about you. You had no clue if they wanted you to hear you or not but either way it seemed much too loud to be talking about a few desks over from yours. 

“I heard from one of the other nurses that she's sleeping with Bangtan.” Some older nurse whispered, causing you to furrow your eyebrows at how loud they were actually being. 

“What!?” The one she was talking to gasped. “How is doctor Hanseol allowing that!?”

“I don't think he knows it yet.” You realized it was Yoongi’s nurse who was spreading the rumor. “But maybe she's sleeping with him too.”

“Him?” The nurse suddenly scoffed. “Please, he would tear her apart.” You could seem them turn to look at you with a sharp look. “She's human—he would never go for something so lowly.”

You sighed quietly, feeling your chest seize up when they mentioned that you were human. It was clear they were some kind of creature like the boys. You figured they all were if Hanseol didn’t want the secret to get out. 

You were a lucky case, you realized. You weren’t meant to work down with the others. You were meant to be a regular nurse who took down research. It was luck that sent you down to Jungkook. And it was him who threw the tantrum to have you as his nurse. 

“If you will excuse me.” You cleared your throat, moving to leave the desk. They were blocking your path so you had to tell them to move. “I have a job to do. I think it would benefit you both to do the same rather than gossip about a coworker.” You told Eun Ae. 

“Who are you to tell me what to do?” Eun Ae sneered, leaning over you to intimidate you. “I can kill you.” 

You kept your eyes on hers, which only stemmed to irritate her. You tried not to flinch when you felt something poke at your head, like the brush of something against your brain. 

“Can you be a dear and tend to Yoongi? I have so many things to do and he gives me a headache.” She told you with a sickeningly sweet smile. 

You realized the nudge you felt was her trying to erase your memories. She didn’t know that you knew everything which was a good thing. You opted to listen, thinking it would be best to not allow her the knowledge that she wasn’t able to hypnotize you. 

“Of course.” You told her with a blank stare. 

“Thank you, Darling. Aren't you just the sweetest?” She pinched your cheek, trying your hardest not to make a sound. 

When she turned around to get back to her gossiping, you rolled your eyes, looking down at the floor to avoid further confrontation. While on the elevator trip down, you leaned your head back against the wall, clenching your jaw. 

You were stupid to think that someone in your job wouldn’t notice what you were doing with the boys. Heck, you literally had sex with Jimin in the pool. Anyone could have walked in and seen you two. And if they did it was clear they had left to spread the rumor. 

However, you began to think if it was just something the other nurses began to spread just to get on your nerves. You hadn’t been called to see Hanseol over it. Gossip was going to run around through the office even if you tried to avoid it. Especially when the boss seemed to always want to talk to you. 

You looked down at Yoongi’s files, shaking your head at his terrible nurse. You could understand why he acted the way he did with her. She was insufferable and clearly hated the way Yoongi acted. There was nothing wrong with him–he was just someone who was terribly honest. He cared about people in his own way. If he allowed you into his circle that meant you were one of a kind. 

When you knocked on his door, he called for you to come in. Like always the only light was the small night light attached to the wall. You could see him pulling back his covers, making himself comfortable against his pillows. 

“Yoongi?” You called out, trying to adjust to the minimal lighting compared to the LEDs from the hall. 

“Come here, Princess.” His arm stretched out, gesturing for you to lay down in his arms. 

“What are you doing?” You chuckled, setting down your things before making your way under the covers to get comfy with him. 

“You project your thoughts too much.” He told you, eyes closed as he tried to find a nice nap. 

You furrow your eyebrows, thinking back to how Taehyung had been able to read your thoughts as well. “How does it work?” You asked. “How can I stop from doing that?”

“We don't get all your thoughts.” He explained. “However if they pertain to any of us you open the channel.”

“If I think of you?” You repeated.

“Yup!” A teasing grin splayed on his face, not that you could see. “So if you're masterbating with one of us in mind, we'll know.”

“Yoongi!” You gasped, poking into his side as a blush bloomed on your face. 

“I'm kidding.” He laughed, turning onto his side as he pulled you closer to his chest. “Well, not really. You just have to learn how to keep your thoughts from leaving your mind.” He added. 

“How do I do that?” You continued to ask.

“Hobi would tell you better. You'll have to ask him.” He tucked your head under his chin, hand rubbing at your back. 

“So then, you've all like—heard me?” You spoke quietly, hiding your face into his chest. 

“Have you masterbated to one us?” Yoongi asked nonchalantly. 

“No!” You gasped, pulling away from him. “I haven't had the need to.” You pursed your lips, turning away. 

“I'm teasing, Princess.” The man gave you a gummy smile, tickling your sides. 

You laughed, squirming away from him. He was quick to hold onto you when you moved too close to the edge of the bed. You squeaked when he easily pulled your entire body back to him with his one arm. 

“Besides, what can you possibly think of when one of us isn't there?”

You quickly pulled back, furrowing your eyebrows at him. Was he telling you that you didn’t have a vivid enough imagination to get off? Sure, they added to the pleasure you would feel when orgasming but you would like to think you were good when it came to making yourself cum. You didn’t always need a man to do that for you. 

Well, not until they turned up. 

“Are you doubting me?” You asked. 

“Compared to what I've experienced?” Yoongi scoffed, looking down at you. “Your thoughts would be tame.”

You suddenly glared at him, a smirk on your face. “Try me.” You told him. 

You turned onto your back when he leaned over you, lips ghosting over yours. “Is that a challenge?” He asked you quietly. “Think you can make me blush? Sad to tell you, Princess, but I’m dead.”

“I don’t need to make you blush.” You told him boldly. “I just need to make you hard.”

Yoongi’s lips pulled into a grin from one ear to the other. He kissed his teeth, his nose dragging along yours. “I want to see you try.”

The smirk on his lips was quickly wiped off the moment you reached up to kiss him. He took in a deep breath as his body began to buzz. He was so used to the cold that the warmth spreading throughout his body felt foreign to him. 

The grip you had on his sweatshirt was tight, fingers slowly drifting down to the skin of his collarbone. As your fingers lightly traced over his jaw, he pulled back to allow the tips of them to graze his bottom lip. 

“Close your eyes.” He whispered against your lips. 

You did as you were told, suddenly overcome with images. Your lips frowned as you looked around a room, noticing how it looked like a bedroom in a palace. The bed was neatly made as you laid in it. Looking down you felt someone laying on top of you. 

Your breath got caught in your throat as you noticed Yoongi, giving your chest small kisses. You didn’t have any kinds of clothing, which allowed him room to place his lips on any part of you. You sighed, arching up into his mouth. 

However, just as you were getting into the feeling of his lips on you, everything quickly disappeared and you were pulled back into the space of his room. You sat up, looking over at his figure laying down on his bed with his hands behind his head. You could barely make out the sly smirk on his face but you knew it was there. 

“You have a sensitive chest?” He asked you. 

You huffed, laying your head back down onto his pillows. You sighed to yourself as you closed your eyes again. The scene had come back to your mind, watching as Yoongi moved his hands down your ribs lightly. You felt your hands grip onto the sheets, but you frowned deeply as you tried to take control of the scene in your mind. 

Letting go of his hold on your thoughts, you quickly moved to grab his head and push him upwards. His eyes went wide as you pulled at his hair from the roots, snapping his head up to look at you. He moved off you as you sat up quickly slotting your lips against his. 

Something bumped into your arm breaking your train of thoughts, almost screaming at the body that was covering you in the dark. Yoongi slammed his hand near your head, chest pressed down onto yours. He smirked, laughing quietly. 

“You think you want to be in charge?” He asked you. 

You stayed quiet, swallowing some of your spit. Yoongi glared for a moment, eyes casting down to your lips. He quickly sat up, sitting on his calves as he got comfortable. 

“Well?” He asked you. 

When you didn’t move, he began to smirk again. “Take off your clothes. We ain’t going to get anywhere sitting here.”

Your hands slowly moved to your scrubs, taking them off slowly. He didn’t comment on it, instead he chose to take off his shirt. Once you were in your underwear and bra, you shivered at the cold feeling of Yoongi’s room. Yoongi laid back down, one hand behind his head as normally while the other stayed on his stomach.

“Show me.” He told you. “How you would do things.” He added. 

You laid down as well, trying to think of what you personally enjoyed. As your mind began to drift off, your hand traveled down towards your heat. Yoongi was quick to open his eyes as he felt your movements, eyes staying on your moving fingers. It wasn’t long before your thoughts were projected into his mind. 

You were on top this time, back arched as you kissed his naked pelvis. He wasn’t a novice to the whole sex ordeal–he had lived a very long life. However it’s the feelings you have for him that seemed to seep into his skin. Not only were you projecting what you wanted to do to him, but you were also projecting your own feelings. 

He had been able to feel something like that with the boys. Always knowing when they would be upset if they wanted comfort or got excited over something that they wanted to share. However he had never experienced something like this before. The pleasure of having your lips on his skin increased tenfold. Every small touch sent sparks into his cold skin. 

He was quick to close his mind off from your projections to keep from getting overwhelmed, eyes drifting to see you in the dark. Your hand was moving under your panties, breathy moans falling from your lips. He wanted to reach out and touch you, feel your smooth skin on his fingertips. But he was too mesmerized by the movement of your own hand. 

His hand moved down to his own length. He groaned quietly, tightening his fingers with each thrust you did with your fingers. He couldn’t hold it for much, wanting to feel your warmth against him. Not wanting to startle you, he allowed you to enter his mind once more. 

He almost choked on the image you were displaying. You were on top of him, grinding back and forth on his cock as it became covered in your juices. Before he got lost in the sight of you naked on top of him, he spoke up. 

“Wake up.” He told you. 

The moment you did, you realized just where it was your hands were. You quickly tried to pull them out, however, Yoongi stopped you from moving your hands. “Keep them there.” He told you softly. “I want to watch.”

He moved to sit between your legs, pulling your underwear completely off. Your fingers stayed still on your core, which made Yoongi get annoyed. “Don’t stop.” He told you, fingers moving between your own to play with you. 

He watched you flinch from his cold touch, whining at how he moved your fingers the way he wanted. He was able to see how your core was clenching and unclenching on nothing. While it was dark to you, he was able to see everything you did with perfect vision. 

And the moment he saw your hips stuttering and your breaths coming out quicker, he quickly pulled your hands away. In one movement, he was leaning over you, legs pressed back and to your chest as he lined himself up with you. 

You were still trying to come down from the orgasm that was ripped away by the time you realized where Yoongi had positioned himself. His lips grazed over yours, moving back just a bit as you tried to chase him. 

“Sorry, but–” He laughed for a moment. “You being on top is going to have to be another time.”

With that he thrusted his hips forward. 

You cried out hands flying to his shoulders to have something to hold. His hips moved quickly but didn’t move far from the back of your legs. His hips made sure to keep them to your pelvis, leaving you in a straining position for a bit. 

But you didn’t dare to complain–not when he was hitting the sensitive spot within you. And he knew he was because he didn’t dare to move the way he was thrusting. And when he felt you clenching around him, his eyes squeezed shut and moved to lean up. His hands were clutching onto the back of your thighs, hip stuttering.

His groans made the bubble in your stomach tighten and release quickly. You groaned, quickly dropping your legs and tightening them around Yoongi’s hips to stop him from moving and overstimulating you. However he was trying to reach his own high as well. 

It was a bit of a struggle for him but he managed to pull your legs from him and release himself on your thighs. He felt the breath in his lungs leave him for a moment, making his head dizzy. But it was something he found to love so much. 

He laughed quietly, watching as you had your eyes closed and you were softly twitching. With soft hands he massaged your thighs and pelvic area. He smiled softly, leaning forward to place his forehead on yours. 

“I don’t think this was the point of our challenge.” He whispered. 

“Did I win?” You asked quietly. 

“I’d like to consider this a draw.”

Series Masterlist

#bts fanfic #bts #bts jungkook #bts jimin #bangtan sonyeondan #bts v #bts jin #bts namjoon #bts jung hoseok #kpop fanfic #bts imagines #bts min yoongi #jeon jungkook #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #bts ot7 #bts fantasy au #bts smut #min yoongi #min yoongi smut #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you #min yoongi x y/n #suga x reader

[doiesfav]

✮º:•. Blooming Spring - Jaehyun ||

Pairing: father! Jaehyun x mother! Reader

Plot: Jaehyun is always prepared for any challenge, even if it was sky diving or meeting the president but preparing her daughter's first official day at school was worse than he imagined. Y/n his wife, was on a business trip so of course he had to do it alone.

Genre: Short story, slice of life, fluff, parenthood, established relationship, fiction

A/n: I'm so sorry if this story is a little bit shorter than the others, this was a bit rushed since I'm also preparing a Mark birthday special fic ;) (I hope yall enjoy reading it tho and would appreciate reblog or follow♡♡♡)

wc -> 1,1k

From PARENTHOOD SERIES

MASTERLIST

banners and dividers are self made

Spring is the time of the year when kids are starting school, well, at least in Korea. And there wasn't any exception for Haru, your and Jaehyun's daughter, she is starting her very first day of school tomorrow but there was a problem. You were in a business trip outside and your husband had to take care of it.

Jaehyun told you to not worry, but something inside you wasn't that trusting. He was a great dad and loved her a lot so why it would be that difficult. Haru on the other side, was naughty, disobedient, and those things. Where she could have gotten that personality? Well from you, of course, although you have now matured. When Jaehyun and you met, you two were still in high school having the same age so that was like 12 years ago maybe but didn't start dating until 18 years old, he always thought you were extremely extroverted, and maybe all your charisma was something he is attracted to. All your friends around never thought of you two having such a long relationship and now you guys are married and have a kid.

''Daddy, when is mommy coming home?'' She asked her father who was helping her take a bath for her first day at school, ''Do you miss her a lot baby?'' she nodded, bubble bath time was her favorite thing. After a long day of playing and getting dirty, it was like her spa time, ''Will you stay with me at school?'' She asked again, ''Well, there will be teachers who can help you, daddy won't be with you'' Oh he shouldn't have said that. Haru when she heard the words her father said started making her cry out loud, she was very clingy and it was very hard to make her stop crying. The dad tried to calm her by telling her she'll be alright but it was too late, Haru then started to splash the water out of anger, and it made Jaehyun's clothes get wet. He didn't know what to do anymore so he ran to get his phone and facetime you hoping that you were out of the plane already, luckily you were in the hotel so it was good.

''Heyy, what's going on there honey?'' You asked because of your daughter's screams and cries. ''Can you try to relax her, I just said that she would be alone tomorrow at school'' It was very obvious your husband didn't even know how this ended up, he thought he would have everything in control even if you weren't. He carefully put the phone in front of his daughter trying to not make contact with the water, ''Mommy, daddy won't be with me tomorrow he's a bad person'' She said while shedding tears, ''Hey baby, do you know why he won't be with you?'' Haru shook her head and relaxed a little more than she was. ''do you have fun with Aeyoung? (A/n: not my own multiverse here LMAO) If you do that's because you two are friends and when you are there you have to learn how to make more friends''.

''But I don't know how to'' She stopped crying trying to understand what it meant, ''That's why the teachers will be there not us, the teachers are professionals'' Haru wasn't crying anymore but it was obvious how much she did because of the swelling eyes and red cheeks. Jaehyun finished washing her and dried her, while he was blow drying his daughter's hair she asked something. ''Dad, I don't think I want to go tomorrow'' she said after sobbing for a while because her father didn't notice before. He was already exhausted because it was his wife that usually took care of Haru's bath time, every time he closed his eyes he swears he would fall asleep immediately.

''But you have to, okay baby?'' And Haru nodded. After Jaehyun put her in bed and kissed her forehead he went to the master room and lay on the bed aggressively and without even noticing he fell asleep forgetting to put an alarm...

Jaehyun woke up with someone calling him, it was you and why would you call him it was probably 1AM for you. His morning voice answered lazily ''Hello?'' he said with his eyes still closed as he was processing everything. ''Hey, Jeong Jaehyun!! Why aren't you sending Haru to school?'' Then he opened his eyes, his daughter's first day at school. Jaehyun never ran so fast to her room, ''Haru, wake up, quickly'' he said but saw that there wasn't anyone in the room he ran to all the places and when he reached the bathroom there was she, Haru was brushing he teeth, but her clothes and hair were still the same. ''Let me do your hair meanwhile okay?'' she nodded, Jaehyun hurried up with the process so it wasn't the best looking hair he could do. After it he told her to change up while he cooks breakfast, then he remembered that there wasn't anything in the fridge, that's right, they didn't do the groceries.

Not knowing what to do he just took out some leftover curry from yesterday's dinner and heated it up in the microwave, it wasn't the best breakfast but at least it feeds someone. Haru went to the kitchen wondering what would she be eating, it was curry, she wasn't the type of person who is eating the same thing over again so she wasn't that excited. ''Is that breakfast?'' ''Yes baby now eat or we will be later than we are'' She didn't have any options and just eat it, meanwhile, Jaehyun went to change his clothes, brushed his teeth and washed his face. When he went to check on Haru she was already waiting to leave, ''Let's go'' It was 8:20AM and school started 20 minutes ago, Jaehyun carried his daughter in his arms and ran carefully but quickly towards the school which was 8 minutes from their house.

Haru was having a lot of fun in his dad's arms, on the other hand, Jaehyun was kinda struggling. When finally arrived he quickly went inside if there was any teacher nearby to take Haru to her classroom, and luckily there was. ''excuse me are you Mr. Jeong?'' ''Oh yes, yes sorry if we are a bit late'' he put Haru down so the teacher could take her. ''I mean you were half an hour late but don't worry, say goodbye to your daddy'' the teacher made Haru wave her hand to Jaehyun. After he left the building it was as if his mission was complete, the very first day wasn't what he expected after all.

Ayeyeyeyey another one completed, only jungwoo left hahsh. Anyways thanks for the support yall and sorry if i keep changing dates😭

#nct #nct fics #nct imagines #nct x reader #nctzen #nct 127 #wayv #nct dojaejung #nct drabbles #nct dream #nct jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #nct u #jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x y/n #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun icons #dojaejung #jaehyun fic #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 fics #nct 127 scenarios #nct icons

[jusalle]

Richarlison Imagine💛

" Nice to see you again "

Yall needa give me some more suggestions!

You and Richarlison were very busy people.

You played for Barcelona women's team. You always loved to play football since you were a kid, always had a dream to play for the top teams. Now that you did play for one of the top teams in clubs, which meant you had to travel alot for your matches.

Now for your boyfriend, the one and only Richarlison De Andrade. He played for Brazil, which also meant he traveled alot and was busy in general.

Right now you had just played a match against Manchester City, you guys had won although it was a tough match especially they were good but the score ended in

3-0

You and your team went into the lockerooms and went to change. After you packed all your things and headed out of the stadium, you went to your car and started it up and decided to go back to the apartment you were just staying at temporarily because you had to travel for the match and needed somewhere to stay until next match.

Now you made it into your apartment and put all of your things down and went on to your bed and pulled out your phone. Then your phone started ringing, you awnserd.

"Congratulations Bébe, you did so good on your game!. I'm sorry I can't go to any of your games often." Richarlison said

You knew Richarlison couldn't make to most of your games because it's either, he has a game,practice or just busy with football. You missed him and he missed you to.

It's been 6 months you guys have been apart

Although little did he know, that I was going to suprise him at his match tomorrow against Serbia.

"Thank you, Meu Amor and don't worry, I understand your busy Bébe"

You guys spend a few hours on the phone talking about football and random things that been happening.

Then you noticed it was getting late so you said your goodbyes to Richarlison and went to bed.

••••

You woke up to your alarm beeping loudly, you shut it off and looked at the time.

5:13

The time was perfect because Richarlison match starts at 7.

So you got out of bed and went into the bathroom and took a shower then got dressed and ate and cleaned around the apartment a little.

By now it was 6:25

You decided it was a good time to leave since the time you get there, it will probably be close to 7.

You got all of your essentials and headed outside to your car and got in and started driving, can't stop thinking about seeing your boyfriend after 6 whole months without seeing eachother.

As you got towards the stadium. You got out your car and began walking into the stadium and going in and find your seat.

The time you found your seat, it was 6:55. So only 5 minutes before the game starts.

The saw Serbia and Brazil practicing on the field before the match started.

You hoped that everything goes smoothly.

You tried not to worry much as the match starts.

You recognized Neymar,Paquetá,Silva and many more.

You looked for Richarlison.

Finally you saw the bright white hair and the number 9.

You seeing him after so long, made you feel so happy because you missed him.

The game was very interesting. Neymar was practically getting attacked by every member in Serbia.

Then it was half time

You could tell Richarlison was getting stressed because it was still tied and they needed to atleast score somthing.

Half time ended

Then they procced to play

Finally at the 63rd minute Richarlison made an amazing goal and I was so proud of him. You just wanted to go down there to congratulate him but you knew you had to wait to the end of the match.

As Richarlison made the goal he did a celebration that made your heart melt.

Richarlison made a heart with his hands then pointed at the camera.

You laughed at the act because he knew you watched his games on the TV and he thinks your watching it on TV right now but in reality your at the stadium. Watching him

A few minutes past

Then at the 73rd minute

Richarlison made the most beautiful goal. You've ever seen

It was his infamous Bicycle Kick. He always loved to show you this trick when he practiced with you.

The rest of the game plays and it still stays at 2-0. Brazil ends up winning and Richarlison is loving it, since he made the 2 goals.

As time passes you saw him leave the field and go into the lockerooms. That was your sign to wait outside of the stadium for him.

So you jogged quickly outside and wait there.

You finally saw that white bright hair and you smile instantly.

He didn't see you because he was to distracted by his phone.

As he gets closer,closer and closer, he's still distracted by his phone. You decide to mess with him.

"May I get your autograph Richarlison, I'm a huge fan" you said in a high pitch voice so he wouldn't know it was you.

He still had his head down looking at his phone.

"Yeah of cour-" finally he lifted his head

You laugh at him because his face was so priceless.

He couldn't belive you were here, in front of his eyes.

"Hola Meu Amor" you said with the biggest grin.

He didn't even say anything, he just instantly hugged you.

"Were you here the whole time I was playing Y/n?" he said quietly still try to comprehend what's happening

"Yes Bébe I watched the whole game, congrats on the 2 points and that last kick was a beautiful goal Meu Amor"

"It's so nice to see you again Y/n"

He kissed you instantly. You missed his hugs and kisses and his gentle touch.

The kiss was so sweet then it turned passionate.

My breathing was getting heavier from how intense the kiss was.

I gasp as his thumb aligned with my jaw and tiled my head back to deepen the kiss

I need him so bad

We break apart from the kiss, breathing heavily

"Meu Amor" I said almost desperately

His beautiful light brown eyes went to my lips for a good second then found my gaze.

His eyes softend ever so softly

"I need you y/n so bad" He whispered in my ear

"Please"

I wanted to say something but I was so suprised how desperate he sounded for me. It made my knees weak and my mouth dry. Unable to speak

Although I knew he knew that I wanted him so desperately by the way my body went so weak for him.

Then the next thing I knew was that his soft lips met mine.

HELLO! My lovelies Ik brazil lost today and is eliminated sadly 😞 but I'm still very proud of them. I know this imagine is kinda long but I hope you guys like it.

#world cup #brazil #richarlison #richarlison de andrade #richarlison x reader #richarlison one shot #richarlison imagine

[iamthat-iam]

i just had a lil epiphany and i wanted to check with you if correct. ^_^

so i technically don't have to do anything to detach from the ego since the ego isn't real at all? its just that I have to disbelieve and stop taking it to the actual me when the actual me is self. and me disbelieving in something isn't an action, it's a decision "i" make.

because here's the thing. my ego spends hours on Tumblr searching for ways to get her desires. even like searching ways to detach from the ego. she's doing something to get rid of "herself". she trying to find methods to do. but that doesn't make sense. because "i" am just identifying with my ego. all i have to do is to let it go. i can´t let go of the ego THROUGH the ego. if i find myself DOING something to realise self or to be self, that just doesn't add up. because the ego is the DOER self is the OBSERVER. so the moment I actively DO SOMETHING it's just me identifying with the ego. self has ALWAYS been there. it's just that "i" took these illusions to be literal thus, falsely believing in them.

i think now i understand what ada and yall meant to let go of the ego. it's not an "action" it's a mental decision. because once ΅i" choose to TRULY let go. i wouldn't be bothered by the ego again. it's only the attachment to the ego that bothers me so much. even after letting go of the ego, if i still find myself being bothered by it. that means i truly haven't let go yet and "i" still take her to be me. i think that's also the same thing in law of assumption about letting the old story go. it's the mental decision to just stop identifying with it. then it doesn't exist anymore.

so in conclusion all there is to be done is to just dismiss the ego. whenever a thought about her or her life pops up, i just observe it without any identification. i let the ego do whatever she has to do throughout the day, but i maintain the knowing that the ego is not me.

also just realised all of this is like a rpg game. (role-playing game). the ego is the character im playing, but ofc i always complete her daily tasks and everything as a player who's playing her. but throughout the game, i'm just watching her, observing her. never during any part of the story do i say that she is me. and if i don't like her, i am free to choose another character to play. basically another ego. or even just customise the one im playing right now. anything. basically the point is that they are all unreal, and all below me. all of them are created by me. thus they are NOT me. the ego is a form of consciousness, a creation thus it is NOT me.

feel free to let me know if im wrong on any part. but other than that thanks for your blog. you are one of my all time favourites out there.

All of that is right :)

#understanding

[mercedesssssss]

1x19 of the mentalist: through a jisbon shippers eyes

I just rewatched this episode and WOW I have thoughts!!!!!

This episode is centered around a homicide of a producer, the movie he was producing, and the family of the producer (his wife and daughter).

Throughout the episode though (towards the end half) Jane and Lisbon actually get a couple... intimate and, what feel, intentional? scenes. So let's discuss.

The first scene I really want to talk about is the scene where Jane and Lisbon go to talk to the producers wife after they questioned her daughter. During their conversation, the wife brings up this point while talking about her daughter "We all make mistakes, but we have the power to give ourselves a second chance." This, as a viewer of the show as a whole and not just looking at this quote at surface level, is VERY on the nose about Jane, at least in my opinion. He obviously feels that, although he doesn't necessarily think he deserves a second chance, but he resonates with what she says at least in some way. I think the show capitalizes on that and what that second chance could mean for him when they intentionally show Jane look to Lisbon directly after that quote.

Then the next part of this scene.... YALL KNOW THE PART.

Basically, Lisbon is talking to the wife about how they aren't going to charge her daughter and how she is on the way home, and the wife very clearly shows her thanks to Lisbon, and we see Lisbon smile and seemingly happily accept her thanks & explain how they are lenient when it comes to juvenile cases.

And then we just see the camera focus on Jane. We see the camera focus on Jane just staring and smiling at Lisbon with such a fondness and a softness that we rarely see/have seen with him, at this point in the show at least.

Him looking at her like that... just WOW. It means so much to me in terms of their relationship and how it is something MORE than just coworkers, and ESPECIALLY more after that second chance line.

The thing that REALLY drives this point home though is what happens AFTER the fact. It's when Lisbon and the wife look back to Jane and he immediately hides the smile he just had on his face.

THATS the important part. THATS what shows that it really meant something. He wouldn't feel the need to hide it if it was nothing. You don't hide something that means nothing. He let his mask slip. He let himself be actually happy in that moment.

Looking at Lisbon.

BECAUSE of Lisbon.

And that MEANS SOMETHING TO HIM.

SHE means something to him.

The next scene I want to talk about is the scene by the coffee machine. This scene is just so damn cute and it means so much to me. It's after Jane talks to the daughter again and he wants to talk to Lisbon about what he wants to do to solve the case. So he walks up to where she's at making her coffee...

And he just stands there.

He just stands there, glancing at her every couple of seconds, and she does the same, and they both just have these little smiles on their faces until Lisbon is finally like "What are you thinking?" and it's just so DAMN CUTE AND FLIRTY FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE.

It's just so incredibly wholesome and soft and I don't really know exactly WHAT it means but it MEANS something, and the fact this happened (not directly after but hopefully yall are understanding my train of thought, but like it happens afterwards in the same episode) after the previous scene I just talked about just makes it feel important to me. I feel like we see a sliver more of that happiness but specifically in the way I talked about before. & also, we know he likes to mess with her (exhibit a, the frog in the pilot) and I think that's become a joy of his and I think that plays a part here too, him messing with her just because. Its just so wholesome and innocent, and I love it.

To recap and try to gather and organize my thoughts, I think this scene further pushes along the narrative the scene I previously talked about showed, in my opinion ofc, which is the thought of a second chance for Jane, WITH Lisbon in mind (obviously when I say this I don't mean in a "they could've gotten together alot sooner" way, but in a "this is the first time we've really talked about a second chance & made Lisbon a part of that equation for him" way), it just is in a very subtle and sweet way. This scene at surface level has nothing to do with the second chance scene, but it carries over that same softness for seemingly no reason (except #tome its the reason im saying).

It's not meant to make them take a step or anything, but to just SHOW that there IS something there at all, to show that there are stairs there that potential steps could be taken on (hopefully you get my metaphor).

Now the last scene I want to talk about isn't even a jisbon scene but I feel like it's so important in terms of Jane and his journey and how that affects his feelings towards himself and, in turn, towards Lisbon or anyone else, or even just happiness.

It's the conversation between Jane and the wife. The wife talks about how happiness is something that is so hard to find, and that when you do, you need to hold onto it. For Jane, he associates this with his family and that happiness he lost, and you can see it all over his face.

He is still so deep in his self hatred, his guilt, his mourning. He is truly still at the end of the day, just sad and not ready to allow himself to be truly happy. He can't be. And it's totally understandable.

He is at the beginning of his journey of healing at this point (and obviously revenge too but thats a WHOLE other conversation) and this conversation was so important to show that despite any subconscious feelings or suppressed brief moments of happiness, that second chance is not in actuality something that is obtainable for him right now.

He's not ready.

And that's okay.

But I think this episode shows it's not an impossibility. And it's shows a glimpse into what a second chance could look like for him.

#jisbon #patrick jane #teresa lisbon #the mentalist #jane #lisbon #i love them so much #they have so many subtle moments & I think it makes them so beautiful & I love trying to make sense of them in the bigger picture #i could totally be reading way too much into things but i also truly believe at minimum the second chance scene is exactly what i said

[thecontumacious]

(Not) Alone - Part 2

pairing: Shu Yamino x Streamer!GN!reader (ft. vox as yall's personal counselor)

a/n: good to see you again! so, ready for what happens next? 😌 for maximum feelers, listen to these songs as you read: kokoronashi ; say you won't let go

here's part 1 if u missed it!

reminder that all my work and others in the fandom are purely fiction and intended to entertain, not to be projected irl. 

"i-i don't think i feel the same."

the world may have gifted you shu yamino as your close friend, but you were stupid to think you could push your luck that he could be your love interest as well

lady fate was truly cruel

your outstretched hand retracts back to your side and with a hollow heart, you nod and smile at shu

"i see," you mumble, leaving shu to wonder if you meant to speak to yourself or for him to hear too. whatever it was, it didn't matter. the truth was out and the worst outcome has happened

shu yamino, your long time crush whom vox assured had mutual feelings, did not like you back. at least in the way you wished it could be

so you stand and take your phone with you, excusing yourself to the guest room for some much needed wallowing

continuation utc!

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: vox... Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: hm? what's up love? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: he doesn't like me back... Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: oh dear Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: are you alright? do you need me to call you? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: yes please

in a matter of seconds, your screen changes to vox who is ringing your phone. you pick it up immediately and you are surprised when the first both you and vox hear is your choked sob

"oh for goodness' sake, my dear, i wish i could come to you," vox's voice is soft to your ears, the comfort reaching your heart but the pain never failing to stay

"vox, it hurts," you sob quietly, covering your mouth so shu outside wouldn't have to hear you in your pathetic state. "it hurts so much..."

"y/n, love, i know, i know," the demon whispers.

and vox would understand, which is why he does know. you collapse onto the bed, but it doesn't feel comfy with the coarseness of the rejection scratching on your conscience

"i-i thought you said he had the same feelings?" you voice out, helplessly feeling betrayed by your demon friend. but you know too well that he didn't mean to lead you on like this.

vox sucks in a breath, "i know i did. and can i be honest with you?"

your lips quiver, but you manage to speak, "what?"

"i don't think... " he trails off and after waiting for a few seconds, it seems that vox had paused completely.

"vox?"

"oh, sorry. um, actually, never mind. y/n, how about you go get some rest? take your mind off of what happened today," but you could tell there was something vox was hiding from you. you wished to know what it was but your heart was too tired for this, so you hum quietly and close your eyes

terribly wishing everything was just a nightmare...

but it dawns on you that when you met shu in the morning, all he did was offer you a smile of a sympathy. he talked to you still, but the air between you two was not like it was before you confessed

half of you thought it was entirely your fault you'd ruin things between you and him

maybe not half... all of you

you couldn't even bear to be in the same room as shu anymore, not because you wish you didn't, more because you wanted to save shu the uncomfortable feeling of having you around

the conversations became shorter and you went out to eat rather than cook with shu at his house

the only real time you interacted with him was during your scheduled stream

which was only once tbh

you dreaded for the day you had to stream together again, but you wanted to give yourself some hope and try it out

perhaps it wasn't a good idea to be pushing away shu like this. maybe he still wants to be friends with you. after all you were the one worried he was going to do all the leaving and distancing

a smile of effort graced your lips when shu had you sit next to him, all equipment and assets at the ready

he returns your smile, like usual, but the stream went extremely awkward

you tried. you really did.

but whenever shu accidentally touched you, you couldn't help but shrink away. his friendly nicknames for you hurt more than it should've, reminding you of his rejection towards your feelings.

"i'm being childish, i can't treat him like this," you whisper to yourself, tears pricking at your eyes and your chest tearing apart.

but your heart. it felt like walking through a rain of fire if you stopped being "childish". burning every step of the way.

it felt as though walking either right or left brought you no fortune.

however staying where you were was not a choice either.

you tried to see the bright side. you tried to be more positive. you tried to forget the fact your long time crush and best friend did not have the same feelings as you and probably isn't looking at you the same way again.

yeah, still trying to forget that...

but when shu popped his head through your door, gently asking your hunched over figure if you were ready for today's stream, you couldn't bring yourself to say yes

you couldn't even stand up to look shu in the eye

so when he sees you shake your head, shu takes that as his cue to leave

did he really have no sense of remorse for you right now? did he really just try to brush off your confession like that and expect you to be okay immediately after?

it made you both angry and sad, frustrated even

but the thought of hating him was impossible

not when he still has your heart tight in his hands

you hear him greet chat from the other room and it seems that they've noticed your absence even though they've been promised you were going to make an appearance

shu sighs, telling them, "not today, chat. they... don't seem to be feeling well. i promise they'll be back soon though. they'll be okay in no time!"

if only it were that easy...

you curl up and hug the pillow to your chest, once again succumbing to the numb darkness of sleep even though it was still midday

when you awoke, everything is quiet. even shu was not making a sound around the house.

only your loud thoughts

you sigh and rub your eyes, "i should leave if i'm just going to be a burden to him..."

you get up and trotted your way to the kitchen, opening the fridge to find something to quickly fill up your stomach. it didn't matter what it was really and shu said you could eat whatever you wanted from the fridge

"what's mine is yours in this house!" he announced the first day you arrived

a protein bar is what you see in the corner of the fridge and seeing it was the easiest and quickest to consume, you grab it, eat it without much time to be wasted and once again headed to bed because of the late hour

absolutely forgetting to check the expiry date on that protein bar

the morning came and so did sudden stomach cramps. you figured it was just some common occurrence that didn't need worrying so while you held your stomach, you heavily said hi to shu who noticed your physically hunched form

"hey--woah, you don't look too good... " he frowns, placing down his glass of water. you wave him off, looking for a glass of juice or milk or anything to stave it off, thinking it was just hunger since you weren't eating properly lately

shu doesn't attempt to approach yet, but when you began to hold your stomach even tighter as though something was clawing at you fiercely, he knew it was a good sign to worry after all

"hey, come on, don't deny it. you're actually looking a bit pale right now. let's sit you down, yeah?" he held your arms firmly, but you refuse to look at him

shu sighs, guiding you to the table anyway as he handed you your chosen drink

you take it, but after a few sips, you hastily put it away.

the sorcerer cocks an eyebrow up and notices you puffing your cheeks and sealing your lips shut, the lump in your throat very visible.

like you were holding something back...

then it clicks

"are you feeling nauseous?" he tries.

you inhale deeply, nodding slightly. "y-yeah. just a bit though i promise."

but knowing you, he doesn't want to believe you.

"come on, let's get you to the couch. i'll make you something to eat. drink some water to lessen the nausea," shu is practically ordering you around but with how empty your head was, nothing but the excruciating pain from you stomach cramps and slight lightheadedness

there wasn't much protesting to be done

you hum, bringing a glass of water with you as you plopped yourself down on the couch

shu watches you weakly bring yourself around, slouching and barely making a move even though wide awake

he doesn't waste much time in making breakfast for you and hands it over, fresh and hot

he offers you a single smile before realizing your eyes were closed, breathing through the mouth heavily

"hey, you okay? seriously, you don't look so good," he reaches over and gently brushes his fingers over your arm. but then you suddenly shiver at his light touch, your goosebumps raising underneath his skin and shrinking away like he'd hurt you

"c-cold," you mutter, bringing your knees to your chest to curl up even more.

"okay, let me get you a blanket. but please eat, alright? you haven't been eating, have you?" shu kneels down before you, hands away in fear he'll cause you more discomfort

"b-but i don't fe-feel like eating..." even despite days of not doing so too. shu notices of course and definitely thinks something is going on.

"nausea, lightheadedness, chills... " he mumbles, staring at your pale face. you don't want to make eye contact with him, not after everything and also because of how physically dazed you feel

"look at me for a sec?" shu asks you and he sees you hesitate. "please? i wanna make sure you're okay."

your fingers squeeze themselves before deciding to be brave. once your eyes met the purple ones of shu, you are reminded again why you fell in love with him

so kind and caring, always there for his friends

he gives you a soft beam and it momentarily helps numb your pain. "sorry if my hands are cold. i need to feel your forehead for a second."

you blink, then nod

shu raises his hand gently and presses it against your forehead. yes, it was cold. but now that you're prepared for it, your skin received shu better

the coolness brought some sense of relief after everything.

when he doesn't move for a few seconds, you look at him.

he was... staring at you, like there was something wrong on your face. but you tilt your head expectantly

"yo-you're a bit warm," he concludes, shaking his head and taking his hand off your forehead. "did you eat anything recently? from the fridge maybe?"

you recall last night. "just a protein bar i found."

"a protein bar--hold on," shu looks down at his lap to think, then his purple eyes fill with panic. "y/n, i think that was expired. i forgot to throw it out."

oh how splendid

"i think you have a stomach bug," shu diagnoses for you, getting off his knees and offering you his hand. but you only stare at it like you've never seen it before. you glance up at shu, who tells you, "come on, let's go to your room. we can't have you sick."

the worry on his brows, his bothered eyes. sigh.

you take his hand with a shaky one, but he grabs it steadily for you and slowly leads you to the guest room.

"lie down. i'll get you some more water and something simpler to eat," he eases you onto the mattress, tucking in the blankets into you and stacking up the pillows so you could sit up.

god this is why you loved him so much

"good, now don't go anywhere."

you suddenly feel something heavy atop your head, the pressure then moving side to side in the most gentle manner. you look up at shu and realize he's patting your head

when he too realizes what he's doing, he stops and red rushes to his cheeks.

"u-um, yeah, i'll go now," before stepping out the door, leaving you dazed and confused. and a bit angry.

he said he didn't feel the same. yet, why did he...?

as you stuff your head into the soft pillow waiting for shu, your phone vibrates from beside you

Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: hey love u doing okay? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: umm i ate something bad and now i have a stomach bug... Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: holy shit r u feeling okay? nauseous? chills? Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: does shu know? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: yeah he was the one who diagnosed it actually Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: good to know. i trust shu can take care of you. he knows what he's doing Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: well i should leave you to get some rest. drink a lot and eat something okay? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: i will don't worry Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: oh and before i go Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: listen to what shu has to say okay? talk to him. i know you've been avoiding him but please do it just this once

huh?

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: um i don't even know what you're talking about, vox. he hasn't said anything to me Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: just do it okay? now go get some rest

seeing that he's not typing anymore, he's not going to elaborate anymore. so you put your phone to the side just as shu opens the door, seemingly carrying a tray of some water and bowl

he avoid eye contact with you as he places the tray down, handing you the glass of water and a bowl of soup

"something easier to eat for you," shu mumbles, also giving you a spoon. you nod in thanks, eating the hot meal even though it took you a while because of your cursed stomach bug

as you ate, shu had already pulled a chair to the bedside and sat on it, seemingly waiting for you

you notice how he's still not looking at you and playing with his fingers instead

he looked... nervous

"don't do that."

shu freezes and looks at you. "huh?"

you swallow your spoonful. "don't do that. you look nervous. so if you are, just say it."

he lets out a sigh, then gives you a defeated smile. "always have been able to read me like an open book, huh?"

you couldn't help but giggle, even if he broke your heart a few days ago. when was the time shu had made you laugh like this?

actually, realistically, it was about a week ago. but to you and your wounded heart, it felt like it had been years.

"well, at first i didn't want to bother you about it. you were avoiding me and stuff, so i figured you didn't want to talk about it, you know?" he began, scratching the back of his neck oddly.

you bite your lip.

"right," shu continues. "so i went to vox. he said to just suck it up and told me to bother you about it anyway."

you roll your eyes, "he said that, did he?"

the sorcerer chuckles. "exactly that."

you sigh, putting your spoon back into the bowl.

"anyway, so here i am. i... wanted to ask you about something."

eyebrows furrowed, you urge him to continue. "what is it?"

shu takes a visible heavy breath in, then exhales his thoughts, "what is it about me you like?"

like a truck, it hits you hard that you pretty much neglected to tell him that part of your confession. you redden up with embarrassment, clearing your throat.

"i-i see. give me a second," at your request, shu nods in permission.

you dig deep into your memories, from the time you first met shu, to when he first befriended you, to your first collab together, the late night talks about your future plans, to the first real life hug he gave you at his front door, all up until he made you laugh just a few minutes ago.

there was not a single moment in that long period of time that you fell out of love for shu yamino.

the answer ready in your head like a bulleted list, you glance up at shu. only to see him blushing as he kept watching you.

you ask, "something wrong, shu?"

upon being caught, he looks away and covers his cheeks with the back of his hand.

"uh," he stammers. "it's nothing."

you curl your lip, crossing your arms. "if you're not gonna answer me, i'm not gonna answer you."

at this, shu heaves a defeated sigh.

"fine. you were... smiling," he admits, turning away even more the more he said it. "it's just been a few days since you smiled at all. it caught me off guard."

his confession admittedly did too. your cheeks warm up while you clear your throat, "se-see? that wasn't so hard to say, right?"

but the sorcerer doesn't say anything.

"anyway, you asked me why i like you?" shu braves himself to raise his head and look you in the eye, nodding. "the fact that you're asking tells me that you don't realize how beautiful you are as a person, shu. you're so kind and caring, you know that? always there for you friends and helping them when they need his help almost at any time. while others would boast about having better wits, you take advantage of it and use it to help others."

you recall the first time you asked for shu's help on setting up your stream, the way he expertly showed you where everything was and wording them in a way you could immediately understand them.

"then you and i became friends. you sent me that meme for the first time, then i sent you more. you became my source of jokes at the time, always swapping jokes and memes.

"but then you let me ramble and rant to you about my bad day. you let me talk about anything with you. and when you did the exact same to me, i happily listened to you. in fact, i wished you could tell me more about it so i could comfort you and make you smile like you did to me. i realized you became safe space, shu. i realized that you were someone i didn't want to ever let go."

your chest begins to swell, your throat tightening and tears pricking at your eyes.

you press the back of your hand to keep them at bay. "i want to be there for you, shu. i want to live the selfish fantasy where i'm the one you go to for both the good and bad things that has happened."

but he let you know that you couldn't live such a fantasy

you sigh, "but you told me i wasn't the one for that kind of future with you. so, i hope you find someone who can. it may not be me, but that's alright. i just want you to be happy."

that's a lie. you wanted to be the one.

"i'm sorry," shu whispers.

you shake your head. i know shu, i know. i have to accept it.

"i'm so, so sorry."

wait, why did he sound like he was crying?

you remove your hands from your eyes and indeed find shu holding back his own sobs, visible tears running down his cheeks

your heart tore apart as your fingers ached to reach out to wipe away his sorrows, but with how things are, you limit your movements.

"h-hey, it's okay. i can learn to move on," you smile. "just don't cry, you're gonna make me cry even more..."

"it's not about that," he says, which makes you genuinely confused

"then what is it?"

"i was scared, y/n. so, so scared," shu puts his hand down and looks straight at you. his broken expression broke you too. "i was scared that my feelings aren't what i think they are."

"what you think they are?"

he nods, swallowing. "i was scared i'd mistake these feelings asjust platonic. i thought my affectionate thoughts were just because you were such a good friend to me. but as you said those things to me, i don't know if i can trust myself right now, y/n. i'm so scared. scared that i'll hurt you even more."

in the light, you see it.

shu was just scared all this time. his heart was terrified that he'd hurt you in the long term.

as he lets out another sob, you couldn't hold it anymore.

you lift your hand up and use your fingers to swipe away a single fallen tear from shu's cheek. this catches him off guard.

he smiles, "see? even though i was the one who hurt you, you still reach out to me and make me feel so safe. god, my heart is beating so fast."

"tell me what you want, shu," you say. shu stares at you for a few seconds. you press a finger to where his heart lies. "your heart. what does it want? take your time, i'll wait."

as long as it took him.

"what do i want?" he whispers, you nod. he hums, then releases your hand only to move it to your jaw. his free hand copying the gesture.

with your face held ever so gently by shu, your heart feels so much closer to his. may god damn shu if he was pulling your heartstrings for fun.

one of his fingers reaches your hair, then he brushes it gently, like he was situating himself with you. he comments, "soft."

for his sake, you don't say anything. though your heart and mind screamed excitedly.

then, shu lets go of your hair and takes a deep breath in, giving you a small smile. "can i kiss you?"

your heart leapt.

you nod, "yeah."

with your approval and a somewhat steady heart, shu closes his eyes and places his lips on yours.

god, you dreamed of this moment so many times already. lady fate would be too cruel to reveal to you that it was just some hilarious joke of hers.

you and shu formed a bond, different from that of what you usually have. it felt like you've revealed a hidden part of yourself to him, and him you.

on one side, relief washes over you. that kiss told you that everything was going to be alright. that tomorrow will be a good day.

on the other, fireworks explode, a triumphant feeling toppling over your being as it dawns on you repeatedly that shu was kissing you.

your fingers that have been lying still in your lap raise up and lightly feather across shu's. this prompts him to move closer to you.

like he wanted more. like he was not done.

you felt like crying all over again.

a few seconds later, shu slowly lets go of you, much to your dismay. but when you see his eyes are filled with tears, one full of joy instead of the previous grief, you don't complain as much.

he smiles, "so it is."

"wh-what is?" you ask

"i felt the spark. now i know this is what my heart wants."

ah

"is it?" you whisper, joy lacing your soft voice

shu nods, leaning his forehead against yours. "this entire time. if you're so willing to try to this, i will too. i'm not scared anymore. thank you, y/n."

you let out a sob, but smiled as you went, "told you i couldn't leave you alone."

it was time to return home unfortunately. a few days ago, you would've thought coming home would do you and your once broken heart some good

at least now, you're taking shu's heart home with you too

"well, i should get going now," you look out the window to see your plane ready to take off soon. but with shu grasping your hand tightly, it prevented you from doing so

you giggle, shaking his hand. "come on now, i gotta go soon."

he frowns, only holding your hand much tighter. "but i'll miss you."

you sigh, letting go of your other hand that was holding your suitcase. you grab shu's chin and pulled him towards you, placing a single chaste kiss on his lips

he freezes, looking away immediately as his ears turn crimson.

another quality you discovered about shu. not too good with pda.

you claimed it was revenge for giving you a false negative.

"i'll see you again soon, i promise," you whisper.

the sorcerer looks at you once, his lips curling before finally (reluctantly) letting go of your hand. "fine... call me when you get home, okay?"

"i will," you giggle and walk on ahead waving, "i'll talk to you later, shu!"

he waves back, then puts his hands into the pocket of his jacket. "i look forward to it!"

"hold on, guys, my pizza's here!" you announce midstream, changing the screen to the waiting screen. you then dash out of your room to open the door for your food, grabbing a tip on the way

when you swing it open, you met not with a stranger holding your pizza box. rather a man with pale skin, purple eyes and his trademark yellow highlighted hair.

he gives you a smile with his v-shaped mouth, "didn't feel like leaving you alone too long."

a/n (2) : legit shed a couple of tears while writing this ;-;

Masterlist!

#author chan’s delivery service 🧺 #nijisanji en #luxiem #luxiem x reader #shu yamino #shu yamino x reader #yaminoart #shu yamino fluff #shu yamino imagines #author chan’s delivery service ?

[kaladinkholins]

hot take time about the mizu and akemi ship. y'all can disagree but i said what i said, because again, it's just an opinion!!!!

putting the rest under a cut so y'all are free to ignore this if you want. i'm just rambling anyway and, again, these are just my personal opinions.

okay like i gotta hand it to blue eye samurai like it's genuinely impressive that they've written their characters so well, like each one of them feels so real and fully-realised

and as a consequence of that, it actually. for the first time ever. has me rooting against a sapphic ship becoming canon endgame LIKE LMAO ???? i didn't think that was POSSIBLE but here we are ???

cuz like if you know me at all you know i usually instantly latch onto any femslash ship at any given opportunity. like i don't think yall understand. i was ride or die for korrasami before it was even remotely a thing, like at that point korrasami was still a CRACK SHIP in the fandom and i was gunning for it immediately and begging them both to leave mako's stupid ass!!!

but SOMEHOW this show, with all its gender fuckery galore and all its well written characters, has somehow made me look at the mizu/akemi ship and say "i'll pass." like dont get me wrong i was pinning my hopes on it initially in the first episode, but by the time i got to the end??? NAH.

like don't get me wrong they ARE cute and sexy on paper and i DO definitely see them developing feelings for each other (mizu towards akemi especially, less so the other way around because akemi just does not strike me as the pining type) but for an endgame? nah. it'd be weird and messy for both of them like!!! they'd be bad for each other!!!

they both want and need completely different things in life (mizu wants vengeance but needs acceptance/belonging; akemi wants freedom but needs autonomy and empowerment).

and they don't even share much in common that would help them bond in a romantic way? like not even interests-wise, but like. personality-wise too. their perceptions of life and approaches and experiences all directly contrast each other. like i know that they're narrative foils and all, which is great, excellent really, but romantically? there is no common ground between them.

besides, of course, both being AFAB and struggling with the patriarchy and misogyny, both having a surrogate father figure who raised them (swordfather for mizu; seki for akemi). aside from those things, they diverge in almost every single way?

like i do get the appeal of the "yin and yang" dynamic of opposites attract in ships (i have so many such ships from other fandoms after all), so i do suppose that, if given enough time for a really long and intense slow burn, it could work. but with all the plot plot plot the show's got going on, i don't know if that's going to be possible, especially now that mizu is ??? apparently going to london ????

and what would their endgame even look like? the two of them running off into the sunset together? why? when akemi has everything she wants and needs in edo palace? which, by the way, is completely the opposite of what mizu wants and needs, as mizu needs a place where she is free to be herself and is accepted and loved for who she is. she does not need, nor want, a life of political intrigue. she is not made for it, nor is it meant for her. akemi, on the other hand, is perfectly suited for such a life, while being completely unsuited for a life on the road, travelling, or living on a farm in the middle of nowhere. nor would akemi like or enjoy such a life either! she'd get freedom, yes, but it would hardly be fulfilling, especially now that she has decided that she wants greatness!

i don't know. if they become canon endgame, the show better put in the work. because this is a netflix adult animated show with the freedom to do that (unlike, say, cartoons on nickelodeon and disney where the creators all faced heavy censorship to get some rep in), so if they're taking the sapphic endgame route, they better buck up and put their backs into it because seeing the state of it right now, the chemistry is bone-dry and the prospects are disastrous!!!!

so until further developments prove me wrong and change my mind, every time i see mizu/akemi content somehow escape the confines of the mute function, i just reenact the gengar gay wrongs gif:

#fandom.rtf #wank.mp3 #shut up haydar #blue eye samurai #mizukemicritical #also i say critical not anti because im not 100% against it #like lemme be clear i support gay women's rights and wrongs!!!!!!! in this house we stand up for toxic yuri rights 🫡 #but! i'm talking about like. from the perspective of what i want to be the canon endgame of the show #like i fully endorse the show exploring a romance between them! #but im crossing my fingers hoping they are not the final canon relationship ykwim dkjfksjfsk #but regardless of my feelings just know i'm still out here in the trenches defending them from the reddit homophobes 🫡🫡🫡

[writers-vlogx]

Yandere rafa headcanons

Okay okay so like I am currently super obsessed with narcos mexico specially with rafa like he's perfect my beautiful boi 😍😍

It doesn't matter where he meet you, it could have been at a party, or at the college when he first arrived in Guadalajara but for whatever reason you catched his eye

Now we all know that as soon as he became interested in you he went right over to were you were standing and started talking

You can immediately tell what's he's trying to get at with the way he's smirking and trying to complement you and pretty much giving you heart eyes

Let's say when he offers you to go out with him to get to know each other you reject his offer

Well unfortunately for you this man does not take no for an answer, you wanna play hard to get? Alright he can play along

When he asks for your name you carelessly give it to him thinking it's nothing out of the ordinary but ohhh you would wrong because he can do a lot with just your name

From that point on you always feel like someone was watching you, like you were never alone and you wouldn't be wrong to think that way, he's been keeping eyes on you ever since that day.

When he gets tired of waiting he straight up just takes you, that's it there is no fighting him.

While you are terrified, not knowing what's going on or what he's planning to do, he tries his best to make you understand that your just so perfect for him why can't you see that yall are meant for each other?

When he finally brings you home hes just so excited to finally have you all to himself away from everyone else, it doesnt matter if his methods are questionable he sees nothing wrong with this.

All he sees is that he finally has you and you finally have him, even if deep down he knows you don't love him, he will make you love him.

Of course he will spoil you and give you anything you want, except freedom of course but apart from that anything you want just say it and it's yours

He could do almost everything for you to open up to him, for you to love him. He wants to feel that love that he's lacked for so long and you are giving it to him

You have all the time in the world to get to love him anyway, so there's no rush, you won't be leaving either way

I think he would get pretty comfortable real quick, cuddling with and kissing you all the time

And if your just so stubborn about hating him them he's going to start to question you

"Porque me odias tanto amor?" Or "What haven't I given you?" and "Yo te puedo proteger mejor que cualquier cabron" he makes you doubt yourself while maintaining a calm aura which makes you start questioning your own sanity

Why do I not like him? Or "it's not so bad here right?" And "But he's always so sweet and patient"

Slowly but surely you start to fall into this delusion that yeah he is perfect Why wouldn't you want him?

After all hasn't he given you everything?

PLEASE SEND ME ANY REQUESTS YOU HAVE FOR MORE RAFA CONTENT I NEED INSPIRATION 🙏🏼 🙏🏼

#yandere #narcos mexico #narcos mexico x reader #rafa caro quintero #rafael caro quintero x you #rafael caro quintero x reader #tenoch huerta #rafael caro quintero #narcos x reader #narcos mexico imagine #yandere Rafael caro quintero x Reader

[orions-tears]

Close to the Sun - Aesop Sharp [Final Part]

Pairing: Aesop Sharp x Fem!Reader

A/N: I'm so sorry yall. My cat was horribly ill, school was really tough, and it was one thing after another. I'm back now I promise. Also my cat is okay he's healthy again. Thank you for being patient. Let me know what you wanna see :)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 linked here :)

One Week Earlier...

He sighs and looks back at you. "Your potion works, (Y/N). It cures the uncurable. Be happy."

You shake your head. "I don't understand. You've brewed it? You drank it already?"

He frowns and walks over to the chair in front of the fireplace, sitting down. He still has the limp...

"No...No you said it worked." You walk over, staring down at him. "If it worked, why does your injury still bother you."

He rubs his hand over his eyebrows, sighing. "You would have died without it..."

You shake your head, pacing in front of the fireplace. "No...no...no you were supposed to take it, Aesop. You. Not me. Why?"

He stands and holds your arms, halting you. "(Y/N), I would live the rest of my days incapacitated if it meant you were safe. You are so much more important than me."

You stare at him, tears beginning to run down you face. "No..."

He nods, smiling softly at you. "Yes...Don't feel regret for what I did. It saved you and that isn't something I can regret." He hugs your tightly, stroking your hair. You lean your face into his shoulder, sobbing, You were supposed to heal him. You failed...

He pulls away and looks down at you. "Don't think you've failed me. You may have flown to close to the sun, but I will always catch you."

You stare up at him, feeling the tears run down your face. He gently wipes them away and you sniff, rubbing your eyes. You move to stand up, not wanting him to keep seeing you in this vulnerable state and move to your knees. You wobble and land back down, a darkness framing your vision. Aesop quickly reaches out to you, kneeling over you.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong? Are you still in pain?"

Your head suddenly feels hot and you turn to look up at him, seeing the floor come toward you instead.

Present...

"The soil should envelope the root like a warm, dirty blanket," hums the voice in the distance.

You walk into the greenhouse, head still foggy from the past week. You make your way down the stairs and enter the classroom, watching your friend from atop the stairs. She looks up and grins at you, releasing the class. You walk over and she runs up to you, hugging you tightly.

"I'm so glad to see you up and about, flower," she sighs, happily.

You laugh lightly, hugging her back and nod. "I am feeling better. More or less."

Mirabel pulls away and smiles, sadly. She walks toward the stairs, waving you to follow. You obey and you both walk together toward the potions classroom.

"We've been so worried about you. Especially Aesop."

You snort out a laugh and nudge her. "Funny."

She turns to you, stopping in the hallway just before the classroom. She furrows her brows, looking up at you. "What's funny?"

You stare at her, smiling, and shake your head. This has to be a joke. After all, you were simply ill, nothing for Aesop to worry about. You continue to walk to the classroom. Mirabel hesitates, but follows anyway. You poke your head into the classroom and see Aesop sitting at his desk. You grin and turn to Mirabel, holding a finger up and sneaking in. You hide behind the stations as you make your way toward him and pull your wand out, casting a basic spell into the corner of the room. He looks up and sighs, walking toward the corner.

"Weasley, stop whatever it is you're doing," he calls. You grin and quietly move to his desk, sitting in the chair and crossing your legs. You hear him groan and he walks back to his desk, freezing in place when he sees you. 

"Salut toi," you hum to him, resting your hands on your knees.

He frowns and walks over to you. The smile drops from your face and you stand from the chair, smoothing your coat. "Sorry..."

He grips your shoulders, looking you up and down. "How are you feeling? Are you alright? When I asked after you, you were always the same."

You tilt your head. "I'm okay. Why are you so worried?"

He sighs, dropping his hands to his sides. "I thought maybe the potion hadn't..." He shakes his head. "You look healthy enough again."

"Potion?"

He stares at your for a moment, confused. He turns to the sound of shuffling, seeing Mirabel walk in.

"I don't think she remembers..." she murmurs.

He turns back to you, frowning again. "The potion...the dragon's blood...you don't remember...?"

You gasp and grab onto his wrists. "You got some?! Did it work?!"

"Well...yes, (Y/N)...it worked..."

You frown at him, looking down at his leg. "You limped over here though..."

He nods. "I used it on you."

You feel yourself go numb and he guides you back into the chair. He couldn't have used it on you. He wouldn't have. He shouldn't have. Mirabel walks over and kneels down next to you, stroking your arm as Aesop recounts the story. You feel your head spinning as you slowly remember what happened. The poachers, the dragon, Aesop and Mirabel discussing the potion, Aesop holding your as your realized your failure. The blood drains from your face and you feel tears rolling down your cheeks again. If you couldn't kill one dragon how could you possibly kill a different one? Aesop stands, pulling you to your feet and wraps you in a tight hug.

"I told you before and I will tell you forevermore. You need not feel like a failure. You created something no one else could. You are the witch that can heal all wounds. You are the one who proved to me that my heart may not be completely broken."

One week later...

You doubt he'll show up but you have hope. You invited him to have tea with you at Hogsmede the other day and he'd promised you he would come. You smile as you imagine Aesop Sharp having tea, laughing, really just smiling is the wild part. You pace back and forth in front of the tree in the courtyard, worried you just look like an idiot. Suddenly you hear footsteps sneaking up behind you. You turn around and see Aesop crouching before he quickly stands.

"Ah...uh...hello, (Y/N)," he mumbles, scratching the back of his neck.

You giggle and tilt your head at him. Were you trying to scare me, Aesop?"

He shrugs and turns to the tea shop. "I thought I'd attempt to do what you attempted. It seems I was the only one startled on both occasions." 

You smile and wrap your arm in his. He looks down and then to you, staring for a moment, as if watching you. You smile at him and he turns his attention back to the shop, attempting to hide a smile. You grab his hand with your free hand and tug him toward the shop. He sits you down at a table outside and heads inside to order, soon coming out with two cups of tea. He sets one down in front of you.

"Three sugars with cream, correct?"

You stare at him, eyes wide. "How...How did you know that?" You lean in, squinting at him. "Have you read my mind, Aesop."

He chuckles. "I wouldn't tell you if I had." He leans back, taking a sip of his tea. "I didn't, however. Professor Garlick informed me of your preferences."

"Ah, so you cheated," you reply as you both sip on your tea.

He snorts and covers his face, setting his cup down and turning away to wipe the excess tea from his face. "I did not. I simply gained information from an outside source."

You laugh as he turns back to you. "Would you allow that on a test? Sounds like cheating to me."

He laughs and shakes his head. "Should I simply ask you directly, then, for all my necessary information?"

You nod and he takes a sip of tea, once again leaning back into the chair. "Alright then...allow me to ask you some questions."

You nod again, watching him.

"What are your favourite flowers? What was your best class when you attended Hogwarts? And...what really is your job?"

You grin and look around the courtyard, thinking. "Well...my favourite flower would have to be...Twinflowers."

He taps the table three times and nods. You notice but say nothing, thinking about the next question.

"My favourite class would have to be...Potions, ironically, but I was never very good at it. I'm not sure that's surprising to anyone," you say, causing him to laugh. "My best subject, really, was Artihmancy."

He taps the table three times again and nods. "Interesting. I've never known many students to take that class. You are quite smart, though, so I am unsurprised to hear of your success."

You laugh and shrug. "I work as a hit witch."

He leans in, suddenly much more interested. "Is that so?" he replies, tapping on table three more times.

You nod and smile. I'd been wondering why you seemed so familiar. I had seen you at the ministry. We never worked together, unfortunately." You sigh, wistfully. "I always wonder what if would have been like to see you working."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Don't remember much about that version of myself."

"That's okay. This version of you is my favourite."

He smiles and grabs your hand, rolling his thumb over it. "Any version of you is my favourite."

You giggle and shake your head. "Cheesy, Aesop."

He laughs and pulls his chair toward you, leaning in. "Only if it pleases you."

You feel your face burn and smile. "It does."

He leans in more, pressing his lips to yours. You reach up with your free hand, caressing his face and kiss him back. Soon he leans away and smiles. 

"I ask you one thing."

You nod looking up to him.

"Take care of your wax wings. Daedalus lost his son. I cannot lose you."

Tag List!

Let me know if you want to be added or removed! Also let me know if you want a specific fic or all :)

@blueberrydinosaur @kuukimeioo @amatchasky @sometimesidreamthaticanlevatate @lonadane @sarahskywalker-amadala @thenerdysimp @steadywombatart @ryehoneyandinkstains @letitrainpoison @misswildfire @anonymously-ominous @the-error-in-love @rileyquinn07 @mattsmanpain @kazuyatokue @secretaccountforfandomlurking @blumin8 @themisspureimagination @smokenfoxes @6kaja9 @totesnothere04 @mellocado @zeilone

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy imagine #aesop sharp #aesop sharp x oc #aesop sharp x reader #professor sharp x reader #sharp x reader #professor sharp #soft shard #hogwarts legacy x reader #hogwarts legacy fanfic

[imraespace]

HELP hi guys😆😊 I have a funny story to share(it has a serious topic(?) just anemia so don't worry too much abt that) it will probably be long idk and also it's the reason I didn't updated the megumi smau yesterday so I say blame the discordians!

ALSO why did I blink and saw that I have 441 followers it probably went up but I'm too lazy to check.

okay anyways so my friend and I have this small server on discord it was originally my kpop server I made back in 2022 bc I wanted txt friends but then we kinda shut it down last year AND NOW ITS BACK UP! so we talk a lot in that server and SHE ASKED ME to pretend to be boys on the Greg bot yk the phone bot thing! so I was like oh okay! BC PPL ALREADY THINK IM A BOY ON MY REGULAR ACC so I used my second acc and created a whole other person(his name is ezra and he's a bleach fan.) right and it was harmless when we went on the Greg bot right made some mini bro friends right! I think someone actually wanted us bc they asked for our ig but um anyways.

EVERYTHING WENT GOOD UNTIL these two girls.

to understand my story better I have to over share on some stuff. my race is black and I'm anemic so since yk that my story will make some sense.

firstly when we said hi I said "yo" bc idk boys say that and my friend she had gave up on being a boy I just continued bc being a boy is fun.. AND WHEN MY FRIEND SAID HI she was like "HELLO" and boom drama started BC APPARENTLY THEY WERE LIKE "ik this call abt to be ass" and started talking abt how she said hello in all caps and my username (it was fw.ez HELPME) and I didn't notice them talking abt my friend first and only saw when they talked abt my username so I was like "dang dawg I'm.not even a boy" bc i thought yk harmless prank! but apparently I was using the word "dawg" wrong? WHAT😱 AND THEN PROCEEDED TO CALL ME WHITE. WHITE PPL CANT USE THE WORD DAWG? AND THERES A RIGHT WAY? so I was confused at first then I understood what they meant and told them im black I think they short circuit but still carried on with their arguments so I got mad and my chest began to race bc my anemia sometimes affects my emotions and I will get a tad bit emotional! so um I couldn't think straight I wanted to tell them some very bad words in dialect but they wouldn't even understand me so I was like I bet yall annoying as hell and it shut them up apparently AND YK MY FRIRND WASNT EVEN ON DISCORD I HAD TO DEFEND FOR MYSELF AND HER AND SHE CAME BACK AND WAS LIKE what's happening. GIRL. I told her what was happening and she called them dumb HAHAHA anyways then we came off the phone but THANKS TO THEM I HAD A RACING HEART AND A SEMI WEAK BODY with cold fingers and toes so I couldn't do anything I was going to write a new chapter for the megs smau bc I forgot to do it eariler in the day but I couldn't even think straight so I was up until 4am😒 with a racin heart and random emotional changes with my mommy gossiping abt some game we play(romance club it's like episode but better i recommend that you play the story called song of the crimson nile hehehheheja) and now IM HOME FROM SCHOOL BC OF THEM🤨😒😒

lesson of the day- ignore THOSE discordians!😉

oh and um a megumi update later when I'm feeling better🤫😉😉

#imraespace -♡ #funny story but its just me ranting a bit #imraesrandom

[impunkster-syndrome]

my reply on that post was about the idea that the fandom would be unwelcoming to plural folk. i basically said that i myself am plural and that while we cannot control the actions of the fandom, we absolutely curate bad behavior in the fancord where we can catch it, and obviously do not discourage sch fictives considering *i* am a clown with fictives.

but i will add since im here that kitty blocking you is not because you Dared to criticize kit. it's because all of the dogpiling and negativity was unbelievably stressful, you all behave as if there is no person behind the screen, or that she is trying to hide behind trauma as an 'excuse.' that is Not the case. kitty blocked, and will continue to block, every single person involved with those blogs just because again, it was so stressful as a traumatized individual. so much toxicity buried any potentially Good criticisms. we Hear yall on the issues like barry not being drawn as fat as he usee to be anymore, or polly missing their cane, we Will rectify actual issues like that.

we welcome issues being brought up and have listened many times before. the fact of the matter is is that no one was going about it constructively at all.

While I do interact with some criticism blogs, I legitimately don't care for some of the criticism from blogs and approach the media as someone entirely new to it. Media analysis is my hobby, and I see so much potential in Sparklecare plus the related media like the therapy spinoff as someone who has dealt with stuff like systemic ableism and interpersonal ableism. I think some of the criticism blogs don't exactly focus on the bigger issues at hand- the lack of nuance, pacing, the high barrier of entry to being able to understand the media through expecting readers to have done hours of scrolling through social media for lore, the problems of not having page numbers on the site visible and not being able to easily skip to specific pages, etc. However, you do not help yourself here by clearly never having actually read and understood my posts. In fact, I do see some staff acting like trauma makes the media immune to criticism, when trauma can make beautiful art that can speak to people at a core level like Alice: Madness Returns. It just can't get that good without people actually being able to point out things that can be fixed and improved upon. The timing for being blocked despite never actually interacting with the main sparklecare blog plus the posts about how people shouldn't take it as anything other than vent art despite the site's about page itself claiming it is a social commentary tell me that it was about my posts and critique of the media as what it claims itself to be. I had never seen anyone else talk about it in that way in the tags, which was astounding to me as someone that reads social commentary like Discworld and is currently working through Lolita so I can write about the objectification of CSA survivors and erasure of our stories and identities by abusers. If it was never meant to be seen as social commentary, that needs to be removed from the site.

I approach it less like a disappointed fan and more like a creative because I've been in Kittycorn's position at about the same age- 15. I wanted to make a twine game about my trauma and abuse I was still undergoing because I wanted to know why I was being abused and it was a cry for someone to help me. There were also many other projects, and some that I have refined over time. I have OCs I talk about and I use them to explore parts of myself. This is my disability blog too, and I'm going to have opinions on disability-related media and representation in it.

I honestly suggest you read over the posts I have written about Sparklecare and then reevaluate if you think I am coming from a malicious place like you seem to think I am.

As for the alterhuman thing, I will say that it was from publicly available information at the time. I'm not going to be in a fandom discord when I have stuff like a job to worry about and the whole media is a migraine risk to me.

Also- I've seen some staff literally tokenize Kittycorn and act like kits schizophrenia is what makes kit excused from all critique. The holding up of kit as a bully victim and not a 23 year old person able to handle kits own issues is infantilizing to disabled people. We can handle our own shit. You personally need to learn the line between bullying and publicly discussing media that was made public, as someone who got extensively bullied in school for years. It's not the same thing here. Kittycorn is a person behind the screen- but so are the people you proclaim as bullies and dehumanize by acting like all criticism is unfounded or coming from "bad people."

#the blackbox askbox #sparklecare critical #sparklecare hospital #sparklecare