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anonymousewrites · 2 years

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There's a Crook; There's a Crown

Chapter Four: Dreams

“Are you trying to get us lost out here?” questioned Chuuya as he followed Akira through the woods.

“No, it’s just around the corner,” said Akira.

“What corner? This is the fucking forest,” said Chuuya.

Akira stopped after pushing through some draping branches. “Then around this bush, if you have to be specific.” She gestured to the cabin in front of them. “There it is, the ‘Heaven’s Doorstep.’ It’s perfect for you. Nothing in there could possibly turn you off of this whole endeavor.”

“Heaven? Sounds prissy and boring,” said Chuuya.

“Just for you,” cooed Akira sarcastically, walking to the door and throwing it open. “Your finest table, please and thank you, darling!”

The entire café, filled with tough (and slightly unsavory) characters, turned to the door. Chuuya blinked and took in the sight before him. One person wore a black mask and flipped a knife around in their hand. Next to them, a boy in a worn but rather official black coat was polishing a sharp, red-tinted sword (somehow, it was not just blood staining the blade). Granted, some of the people looked less scary, like eccentric guy juggling lemons or the guy with the raccoon in the corner (weirdos), but after a woman with red hair shifted and showed off her long katana, Chuuya decided maybe he should stop staring.

So it’s called ‘Heaven’s Doorstep’ because everyone wants to kill you…lovely, thought Chuuya.

“How is everyone doing?” chirped Akira. Grinning at the bartender with a butterfly pin, she strutted through the group. They were silently watching her (glaring), but she was unimpeded. “Lovely to see you all. Red, what are your thoughts? Personally, I think this place smells like…purple. And blood. That’s mostly because these guys need to clean their blades like that person over there.” Akira jerked her thumb at the person flipped the dagger around.

She’s actually insane. These people look like they want to kill us, and she does not care.

The woman with the long katana watched Chuuya move through the crowd. “Long hair…lovely red, though.”

“Like yours, Kouyou” said Akira cheerfully.

“Red as blood. I love it,” said Kouyou, smiling. Still, she was frightening, even smiling she appeared more like a fox watching its prey.

Chuuya backed up uncomfortably, gathering up his hair before bumping into an extremely tall man with inky black hair and a blank stare. He glared back and raised his frying pan.

“Oh, sorry, he’s a little jumpy,” joked Akira. She took ahold of his shoulders and addressed him directly. “Of course, if you don’t think you can handle this, maybe you’d prefer to be back in your tower.” She gestured to the door.

It was a challenge to see how far Chuuya was willing to go. He didn’t back down, and he turned to face her, fuming. He opened his mouth to speak when the boy who had previously been polishing the red tinged sword slammed the door closed and pinned Akira’s wanted poster to it.

“Is this you?” He raised an eyebrow.

Akira grinned. “I have better cheekbones than that, Akutagawa!

“I think we should go find some guards,” said a man drinking alcohol out of a teacup. “Steinbeck, go.”

A man in overalls nodded and opened the door so he could leave, trailed, by the abnormally tall man.

Not good, thought Akira.

“The reward will buy me a lovely new home for me and my wife,” said the man, smirking.

Kouyou grabbed Akira and pulled her backwards. “I want a new katana for Kyouka.”

“I thought we were friends!”

“I love money more, my dear.”

“I need to refurnish the café,” said the bartender.

Akira gulped. “Uh, Akiko—”

“I’m broke, Yosano!” said the waiter, taking ahold of her arm.

“Whoa!” Akira dodged around the people grabbing for her.

Chuuya watched and frowned. He…didn’t like what was happening. Obviously because it meant his guide would be taken away. Obviously. So Chuuya lassoed a pair of dear antlers from the wall with his hair and brought them down on the lemon-guy’s head. Everyone stopped and turned to him. Even in the face of their fearsome glares, Chuuya straightened his back and gazed back fiercely.

Brave or stupid? wondered Akira.

“Let her go,” he snapped. “I need her to see the lanterns, and I’m not letting any brawling idiots get in my way.”

Stupid, definitely stupid.

“Capture her after if you really want to, I knocked her out with a frying pan, it’s not that hard, but for fuck’s sake, find some decency.” Chuuya huffed and rolled his eyes. “You guys dream of money; I dream of the lanterns. Try to be goddamn human and understand that. Don’t you want to do anything other than be shitty people?”

Kouyou stepped towards Chuuya and regarded him thoughtfully. “I had a dream once.” She took her katana and pinned Akira by the jacket to the pillar.

(Kouyou) “I’m malicious, mean, and scary, My glare could curdle dairy, And violence-wise my hands are not the cleanest.”

She smiled at Chuuya.

(Kouyou) “But despite my evil look, And my temper or sword’s hook, I’ve always yearned to sing opera in the spotlight!”

She spun onto a small stage where a circle of light fell on her.

(Kouyou) “Can’t you see me onstage performing Carmen? Hitting the notes perfectly! Yes, I’d be called deadly, For my killer opera medley, Thank you, ‘Cause way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream!”

Akira blinked. They’re all going insane.

(All) “She’s got a dream! She’s got a dream!” (Kouyou) “See, I ain’t as cruel and vicious as I seem, Though I do like slicing throats, I’m in the dreamers’ boats, Like everybody else, I’ve got a dream!”

As the café’s general chaos grew, Randou drew closer on the road outside.

Inside, however, the patrons were as energetic as ever. Kouyou leapt elegantly off the stage while Yosano stood up and approached Chuuya to share her own dream.

(Yosano) “I’ve got scars, trauma, and bruises, Plus a problem with boozes, And let’s not mention my lack of virtue~! But despite my trust issue, And my temper and my wrath, I really want to make a love connection!”

Chuuya turned his head away. Good for her, but I don’t understand the need for love. I have my father. That’s all the affection I need. His eyes wandered over to Akira, and he deadpanned. Is she seriously humming along while hung up like a towel to dry on the wall?! Unbelievable.

Yosano sighed and leaned against the wall next to Akira, holding a small flower up to her.

(Yosano) “Can’t you just see me with a special little person?” Rowing in a rowboat down the stream?”

“You’d probably take them to a bar,” said Akira, before being promptly shut up by Yosano’s hand over her face.

(Yosano) “Though I can be a violent blighter, I’m a lover, not a fighter, ‘Cause way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream! I’ve got a dream~” (All) “She’s got a dream.” (Yosano) “I’ve got a dream~” (All) “She’s got a dream.” (Yosano) “And I know one day romance will reign supreme!”

She jumped onto one of the tables, scaring a boy with a band aid across his nose into falling from his chair.

(Yosano) “Though my rep leaves people screaming, There’s a child behind it dreaming, Like everybody else, I’ve got a dream!”

“Where the hell did you find these lunatics?” muttered Chuuya.

Akira shrugged in answer. “I attract weirdos.” She smirked down at him.

He glared back at her, but before he could say anything, the strange song continued. Yosano gestured to a blond woman with her hair tied up in a bun.

(Yosano) “Higuchi wants to quit and be a florist!” Hirotsu likes interior design~ Atsushi rescues cats, Kaji raises rats, Gin knits, Akutagawa sews, Poe writes scripts for shows! And Fitzgerald collects ceramic whales~~~~”

Taking a deep breath after the long note, Yosano turned her head and narrowed her eyes at Akira. The others followed her gaze. “What about you?”

“Me?” Akira raised an eyebrow.

“What’s your dream?” inquired Kouyou, removing her katana so Akira dropped to the floor.

Akira grimaced. “I don’t sing.”

Kouyou raised her katana again.

“On second thought…” Akira cleared her throat.

(Akira) “I have dreams like you, No, really, Just much less touchy-feely, They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny, In a castle that I own, Where I am rested and alone, Surrounded by money, men, women, and more!”

Exasperated, Yosano tossed Akira to the side so she landed on Chuuya. The scarlet-eyed woman smirked. “Your turn, Red.”

“Don’t you dare—!” Chuuya was thrown onto the bar so he had to sing (or risk angering the bar patrons, even if they did seem to like that he had unknowingly and regretfully given them a reason to share their dreams.

(Chuuya) “I’ve got a dream.” (All) “He’s got a dream!” (Chuuya) “I’ve got a dream.” (All) “He’s got a dream!”

Chuuya couldn’t help but grin a little bit, getting into the performance. He was a dramatic man at heart.

(Chuuya) “I just want to see the floating lanterns gleam And with every passing hour, I’m glad I left my tower!”

As everyone watched him sing, no one noticed Randou opening the window and watching in shock and fury at Chuuya clearly enjoying disobeying him.

(Chuuya) “Like all you strange old folks, I’ve got a dream!”

Akira jumped up next to him and spun him around, clearly trying to disorient him.

(Akira) “He’s got a dream!”

Stepping up to the challenged, Chuuya twirled into a dip with her holding him up.

(Chuuya) “She’s got a dream!”

Randou fumed as he watched, but with all the dangerous people inside, he couldn’t risk approaching Chuuya at the moment. He retreated into the woods off the path to decide how to proceed once Chuuya left the café.

(All) “They’ve got a dream! We’ve got a dream! So our differences ain’t reall that extreme, We’re one big team, Call us brutal, sick, sadistic, And grotesquely optimistic, ‘Cause way down deep inside, We’ve got a dream! (Various) “I’ve got a dream, I’ve got a dream” (All) “Yes, way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream~!”

At that exact moment, Steinbeck opened the door the bar with his tall partner next to him. “I found the guards.”

Well, shit, what terrible timing.

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girlnikolai · 2 years

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Judging you for your bsd kins except im a fucking cunt about it also im not including images because im in chemistry fuck yourself if that bugs you

if you point out the fact that these get longer as they go on then die pls <3

Dazai

Well arent you Unique. not like 90% of the fandom kins him or anything, cant say i dont kin him myself of course but i dont Kin Him i just kin him seriously tho if dazai is your top bsd kin stay 500 feet away from me and maybe take a bath while youre at it. your sense of humor is probably just uncensored depraved sexual posting and its fucking annoying shut up please. hardcore dazai kinnies suck so so bad but god damn you are all so annoying and i want to fuck you so bad (derogatory) i can make u worse babygirl please dm me. you need psychological help and not in a omg ur brocken way.... in a you should be lobotomized and pushed off a bridge way (affectionate)

Atsushi

do. do atsushi kinnies exist i thought that was just another word for furry. idk ill try my best um embracing my inner akutagawa kinnie pls kill yourself and kiss me on the lips. man seriously tho i didnt know atsushi kinnies were real are they just akutagawa kinnies in anger management. idk um. whore. bet u have an awful haircut. is that why you kin him fucko did you see the gay little tiger and his awful haircut and go hes just like me fr fr. is this your truth. your backstory. bitch.

Akutagawa

starting this off by saying if u kin him and ur ablebodied u should die. i dont think his disability is that relevent to his Angst but i love to be a hater. if u are disabled then cmere baby lets kiss im self loathing too hows ur relationship with ur dad. i bet ur bangs r why he left u. yeah i said it fuck you and your bangs. self callout i havent cut my bangs in 288485 years but its fine. i think we dont talk about the fact that akutagawa is canonically hot. as an akutagawa kinnie im allowed to say all akutagawa kinnies are hot unless ur one of the following. 1. ablebodied 2. have never lived in poverty 3. cis 4. idk fuckin. from michigan my akutagawa headcanon is that he hates michigan fuck yourself if ur from michigan

Ranpo

ranpo kinnies are such a mixed bag bc half of them are actually cool people who are probably autistic and the other half are the kids who thought they could genuinely solve the kira case. if u interpretat his lore as oh hes gifted kid burnout i think u need to sit down and tell me one time when hes burned out ever except the one part with mushitarou (is that how u spell his name idk hes ugly (affectionate)) yes honey i understand that youre too smart for this world and above everything but please go to bed you have school in the morning. if youve ever made an edit of ranpo to one of those like. little miss perfect type songs or averager or something please stay the fuck away from me. those songs fuck but god u are annoying

Yosano

ok real talk what is her backstory not even in a pretentious oh the writing is bad way i mean it in a i cant fucking read this is a cry for help someone please explain it to me. ok onto making fun of you. sterotyping is bad but also literally no yosano kinnie ive ever seen hasnt been nmlnm (non man loving non man) like this isnt even me being like haha ur a lesbian this is just a fact you like women dont you. seriously tho what is there to say about yosano i dont think i can comment on this shes property of the gays im sorry live laugh yosano ig

Chuuya

just spilled energy drink in my tits anyways if you were one of those kids slash still are one of those people whos like omg im so short and chaotic im a smol angry bean ill take ur knees out than im revoking your chuuya kin card 'oh but lucien you cant-' dont care didnt ask plus you only care about chuuya in the context of dazai. if you havent read stormbringer and u kin him shut up the adults are talking. i technically havent read stormbringer but my babygirl @chaotictransmess mansplained it to me so im infinitely hotter than all of you. please god please dm me if u kin chuuya and arent fucking annoying my legs are spread please baby

Fyodor

oh so ur a dazai kinnie (individuality complex edition) and youve read edgar allen poe wow.....ur one of those people who shits on others for saying crime and punishment is too long. NO ONE CARES THAT YOU READ THE WHOLE THING ITS LONG AND BORING AND YOURE A VIRGIN KAY WHY ESS SWEATY. this isnt directed at my beloved rowan ofc you can do no wrong /p fyodor kinnies are an unholy intersection between the worst dazai kinnies and the worst ranpo kinnies please shut up no one cares how fucked up you think the world is you live in suburbia shut up shut up shut up shut up. you absolutely used to lie on the internet to say you were french or russian or something in like 7th grade.

Nikolai

do you actually kin him or are you an XD crackhead. you probably go oh yeah my music taste is pretty wild and then its willwood and the cats the musical soundtrack. if youre an actual nikolai kinnie and not just an edgy 14 year old please stay away from me. not in a oh em gee ur so twisted way no u probably just smell bad and dress ugly and i dont want to be seen with u. you probably jokingly hit on your friends and jokingly make fun of them and no one finds it funny. dont worry babygirl i'll appreciate you like they never could please give me a chance. nikolai kinnies are hot as fuck until they arent. not saying anything else nice bc any validation you fucks get goes straight to your cock.

Kouyou

...mommy? 🥺

Poe

do you kin poe or do you wanna fuck ranpo so bad but you have too much internalized cringe to read x reader fics. ive said this 7 times but jesus fuck bsd fans shower challenge. you were one of those kids who got mad into those like. talking animals series but not like warriors and animorphs kids no im talking guardians of ga hoole. you wanna write so bad but anytime you fuck up you cry and bash your head against the wall and listen to mitski again i am sneaking dog anxiety meds into a hot dog for you. i cant even be mean on this one yall r like dying puppies who live in allies jesus yall bum me the fuck out

Kyouka

i havent seen anyone else kin kyouka so im doing this for myself ig. suprisingly enough despite being a massive cunt i kin the uwu smol bean of the fandom. kyouka isnt a smol bean ofc bsd fans just cant read i think. guys shes murdered people all she did was cry about it a few time guys pls shes not ur poor meow meow shes a traumatized child

Kunikida

the token Bsd Fan That Showers. guys pls kunikida kinnies this is a cry for help no one here has even read the light novels Heple. seriously tho i cant think of anything mean to say about kunikida kinnies. not like any of you would admit to kinning him publicly bc u think kinning is below you. ik being like omg ur 'insert sex thing' is cringe however no kunikida kinnies fuck its part of the job description please get laid

final thoughts

ok so basically like. 1. tell me if u want me to make fun of any other kinnies 2. yada yada yada this is all in good fun i didnt mean any of this pls dont spam report me badly dressed 15 year olds of tumblr 🥺🥺🥺 3. before one of you failed abortions decides to come in my notes like 'oh man does making fun of people make u feel better about yourself. we're just having fun ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️' the answer is yes it does make me feel better about myself i am a hater first and a person second and also i dont care if ur just having fun guess what fuckwad im having fun too now shut up <3

ok but in all seriousness i dont give a fuck who you kin and why and you shouldnt care about my opinions i want to fuck monty gator from fnaf and i kin the little gay elf wizard from the adventure zone and one time i ate gum off the floor cringe culture is dead girl if wearing an ugly trenchcoat and a amazon body harness over a death note t shirt makes u happy go do it. but in a genuine note a word to the bsd fandom PLEASE LEARN READING COMPREHENSION JESUS FUCK FOR A FANDOM REVOLVING AROUND A SERIES ABOUT DEAD AUTHORS YOU GUYS LITERALLY CANT READ ANYTHING EVER SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP anyways xoxo girlie pls like and subscribe like i said give me requests for other bsd characters making fun of people is my passion

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cherryblossomsno1fan · 3 years

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part 2 of bsd characters except it's conversations/things me and my friends have said

Chuuya: piss on the principal and say "transphobe" and leave

Fyodor: I heard piss

Dazai: oh. my. god.

Dazai: THIS SERVER ISTG

Fyodor: HELP HAGAHAHHEJSS

Chuuya: HELEPPAFGKOHJ

Dazai: HOW ARE WE ALL OBSESSED WITH PISS

Dazai: FUCK IT. WAR CRIMINALS HAS A PISS KINK.

Fyodor: We are obsessed with piss or making fun kf it

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Dazai: Make it a soliloquy for when its a rainy day and i want to feel like a badass widower, and then you can cum

Chuuya: hey what the fuck?? its two am

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Margaret: my humor is dry but my pussy is wet

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Chuuya: At least I haven’t been called twink here, my old friend used to call me that constantly. Not a bad thing but

Higuchi: isnt a twink something for gay men

Akutagawa: Twink is a weak ass bottom

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Ranpo: fan behavior

Yosano: growls

Kunikida: not the fan behavior-

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Dazai: KUNIKIDA WHY WOULD YOU FUCK ME OVER LIKE THIS

Chuuya: heh bottom

Dazai: we both know perfectly well it's not like that.

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Atsushi: DID YOU JUST CALL ME A TWINK

Akutagawa: are you deaf aside from a coward?

Atsushi: NO PLEAH DID YOU ACTUALLY CALL ME A TWINK

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Hawthorne: i have to shit so fucking badly but i’m in church

Mark: shit on the pastor

Margaret: IM CRYONG HELPS

Lucy: burn the church.

Steinbeck: arson😩😩😩

Hawthorne: i think i might literally shit my pants

Lucy: burn the church

Steinbeck: burn the church

Hawthorne: it’s like squeezing out my ass hole

Mark: poo on the pastor

Poe: run to the bathroom in all seriousness

Margaret: IM CRYONGE

Hawthorne: i cant their praying rn

Hawthorne: so i can’t really run

Mark: waddle

Margaret: tears will start running out of my eye sockets if you shit yer pants

Lucy: say “UwU pastor sama i have to take a poopoo, please let me go shitty witty in the toilet, I’ll pray to sky daddy tonight nya”

Poe: NO

Mark: NYA?????

Steinbeck: IDEK WHAT TO SAY

Louisa: WHAT IS HAPPENING

Margaret: thats it here comes the tears

Poe: MARGARET'S ACTUALLY CRYING HELP

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Gin: HC my wifi has a praise kink

Gin: “Such good wifi” Works better

Akutagawa: i have a praise kink

Gin: wha

Akutagawa: i also have a degradation kink

Gin: same

Akutagawa: idk how that works but

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Margaret: I’m gonna ride Jesus like the wind

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Dazai probably: it's cunnilingus but for buttholes

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Kunikida to the ADA talking about someone (for the scenario let's say it's Fyodor):holy shit he is the single most annoying person ever AND IVE MET YOU GUYS

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Kyouka: fuck you and your privileged shoes!

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Kenji: the square is the sandwich.

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Dazai, texting Kunikida: my ass is made out of armadillos.

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Kunikida: no i'm not gonna write a box of condoms.

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Q: you made my teeth wiggle! bitch!

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Yosano: silence twinkymalinky

Ranpo: WHAT'S WITH THE TWINK RELATED INSULTS

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Dazai: What are you doing step bro

Chuuya: help me get out of this fucking washing machine dazai or so god help me i'm telling mom what a slut you are

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Chuuya: bitch person

Q: bitch person

Chuuya: yes i can't call you bitchboy you're nonbinary

Q: PLS

Dazai: bitch enby?

Chuuya: no, bitch person

Mori: Bitch human

Kouyou: that would be assuming Q is human

Q: im not sure at this point

Dazai: Bitch god

Chuuya: bitch being

Mori: yeah

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Atsushi: I hate it here.

Akutagawa: good.

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Nikolai, as a joke: list of Fyodor's kinks - tear kink - piss kink - scat kink - mold kink - dirty water kink - electricity kink - mommy kink - cockroach toilet flushing kink - marking kink - horse kink - hussie kink

Sigma: jesus christ

Sigma: COCKROACH TOILET FLUSHING KINK?????????

Dazai: sounds about right

Sigma: IDEK WHAT THAT IS

Fyodor: IHY

---

Chuuya: i'd step on someone if they steal from me

Elise: no spray febreeze in their eyes

Gin: no you gotta K.O them

Higuchi: i dont like confrontation but i dont mind having to use violence

Hirotsu: im pretty sure the devil is scared of you

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Ranpo: genuinely think that the one lyric in the song up by cardi b is "i said my face bomb ass tight rack stuck and shat light" bc i haven't looked up the actual lyrics and at this point i don't think that looking them up will stop me from continuing to sing these lyrics.

Yosano: you.

Yosano: ok

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Lucy: ok 2013 humor i didnt ask for your input

Atsushi: what else am i supposed to say?? good for you?? break a leg?? don't die?? what the fuck

---

Ranpo: we ate ,,, lamp

Ranpo: *lamb

Poe: l

Poe: lanp

Ranpo: ??

Poe: lap

Ranpo: lamnpl

Ranpo: we ate goat

---

Tetchou: psst

Jouno: Oh no

Tetchou: gay

Jouno: What about it

Tetchou: nothing just gay

Jouno: Stares

Jouno: Same

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Tachihara: i have never had boba

Tachihara: it looks funky

Gin: It tastes amazing

Tachihara: do you like swallow the balls or bite them

Gin: Either way

Tachihara: shit that sounds weird out of context

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Yosano: it's wonky! it is- it's fucking wonky! none of this is straight and i can relate to that!

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Louisa: my only experience with boba was when i once went into a boba shop and ordered,,, coffee

Poe: You

Poe: What

Louisa: yeah,,,

Poe: WHY COFFEE

Louisa: ok so kind of a long story

Louisa: i was in a coffee shop before but i accidentally ordered a drink that wasn't coffee but i wasn't gonna ask my friends to go back to the coffee place to get coffee and they wanted to go get boba so i saw there that they also had coffee and i was like "Oh i'm gonna get that"

Louisa: it tasted like black tea with milk

Louisa: not coffee

Louisa: so it was an absolute scam

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sword-dad-fukuzawa · 3 years

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What Your BSD Crush For Says About You, a shitpost

Manga-only characters below the cut. (11/4 edit: wrote this a bit ago, this is my apology for taking so damn long with posts :p) Written with @scalpel-mom-mori, as all of my shitposts are, because she has the crack braincell.

Lovecraft: Monster fucker, insomniac, or both. I bet you watch tentacle hentai.

Twain: You have a thing for himbos. Moronsexual lookin-ass.

Mongomery: You liked Taiga in Toradora and you have never looked back as you spiraled down the rabbit hole of tsunderes.

Fitz: You’re really into rich white guys.

Alcott: You want a cottagecore lesbian girlfriend.

Mitchell: Why? Is it the ballroom gown? Is the white gloves? Does she remind you of that one middle school crush who wouldn’t give you the time of day but you adored them anyway?

Hawthorne: Church kink alert, Jesus approves.

Steinbeck: Country roooooooads, taaaaake me home~ Uh. You like country music.

Melville: Marine biologist. Trust me, I know marine bio majors.

Poe: You have social anxiety and like soft boys, and soft boys only. On occasion, you’ve been known to dabble in catboy fan art.

Karl: Furry, but valid. For legal reasons, this is a joke.

Atsushi: Furry, but invalid. KIDDING I LOVE ALL ATSUSHI SIMPS--you’re probably a Deku fan if you watch MHA.

Kyouka: Your FBI agent has been working overtime.

Kenji: The same joke as above, and you’re depressed.

Dazai: I’ll see you in therapy.

Kunikida: You have a deeply rooted complex about appearing respectable and always being on time. Yes, I’m calling myself out.

Tanizaki: Either you’re Naomi, or boys that go apeshit are your kink. Don’t worry, they’re also mine.

Naomi: I think you’re into yanderes. Yuno Gasai is your one and only.

Ranpo: It was the eyes for you.

Katai: You’re a gamer, aren’t you. I’m getting either League of Legends, Overwatch, or Destiny vibes.

Fukuzawa: Daddy issues~

Yosano: Bottom!! Filthy bottom!! But make it edgy!!

Kouyou: Bottom!! Filthy bottom!! But make it sad!!

Chuuya: Either you’re Dazai (oops) or...I don’t have a good joke for this one. You’re valid.

Kajii: You’re sexually attracted to explosions. Looking at you, Bakugou stans.

Gin Akutagawa: You are painfully, disastrously bisexual.

Regular Akutagawa: MCR phase, anyone?

Karma: YOU CRIED. YOU CRIED THAT EPISODE. Alternatively, you latched onto him because you watched AssClass and are going through Karma Akabane withdrawal.

Higuchi: This is the same joke as Louisa, but dark academia.

Tachihara: You’re an anime-only. Kidding, you have a gun kink.

Hirotsu: You’re a cryptid, spotted in the wild once or twice a year.

Mori: You didn’t just have an emo phase. No, no. You were the kid who drew dots on their neck and pretended to be a vampire and read Twilight cover to cover.

Oda: You wish he unbuttoned his collar a bit more.

Either of Kyouka’s parents: You have taste.

Fyodor: You always have a crush on the antagonist. No exceptions, ever.

Ango: You’re into the beauty mark.

Tsujimura: Same joke as Higuchi except you like the tsunderes.

Ayatsuji: Your anime boy type is that bastard whose only personality trait is sarcastic put-downs. Sasuke was your first.

Murakoso: You fixate on side characters who get .1 seconds of screentime and imagine an entire fantasy life with them. It’s okay, I did that too.

Techou: Moronsexual, but less dysfunctional than Twain.

Teruko: It’s gleeful sadism for you.

Fukuchi: You want him to fist you. I changed the joke because getting fisted + Fukuchi’s ability is too cursed, even for a shitpost. Instead, I’ll say that you’re the type of person who likes funky facial hair.

Jouno: Same joke as Teruko, but you like them slightly more evil and male.

Gogol: HAHA CRAZY CLOWN MAN GO BRRRRRRRRRR

Sigma: You want to shower him with love and affection and cuddles and god damnit please give this babey a happy ending--

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daephilawrites · 3 years

Text

Highschool Prom HCs

Characters: Ryunosuke Akutagawa, Nakahara Chuuya, Dazai Osamu, and Atsushi Nakajima

A/N: This is my first take in writing so pardon me if there are any errors present in this post. Feedback is not necessary but will be further appreciated.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

If you actually do think that it's your time to dance with Akutagawa, well then you're wrong. The only person he'd dance with is sister, periodt.

But if you do get him for a dance, you're in for smooth moves. This boy will sway you on the dance floor, not caring for the other dancers saying "it's their problem not ours".

*Queue intense blushing in your part*

*Queue the surprise of some students knowing that that one emo kid took someone to prom*

He's excellent at dancing to classical music and jazz. He holds you dearly as you move through the music, admiring each and every of your features though he wouldn't say that out loud.

Though he will accidentally slip up at times which takes you aback since you didn’t expect it to happen.

"You're actually pretty good at this. I didn't know you were great at dancing."

"U-um s-senpai, what again?"

*Queue intense blushing on both sides*

Right after dancing, he'd sulk off a corner with his sister, engaging small talk with some of the mafia team.

Actually one of Prom King contestants but he wouldn't join. To him the only way to make Dazai notice him is through showing off physical strength. Explains why he excels mostly in Gym.

Actually gets to eat a lot for once. He also may or may not compete with Chuuya on a drinking contest though he'd definitely lose.

Nakahara Chuuya

At first you were very intimidated and thought he was really pissy. After all, you're dancing with the school's best basketball player. But it turns out that he's actually a sweet and protective guy.

Kinda tsundere but sweet in general.

Dancing with him is a sweet ride for he will compliment your moves and hold you dearly. He's very open to complimenting your physique and your moves.

"Eh, why didn't you tell me you knew how to dance? You're actually very great, I like it."

Oh imagine the look of surprise present on his fangirls’ faces.

If any of his obsessive fangirls actually target you for being on the center of his attention, he will protect you no matter what. Though he knows he offended someone, you are his number 1 priority.

He'd pop a few jokes and laugh with you as he slowly gets drunk from a whole bottle of wine.

Would be seen hanging around with Akutagawa, Tachihara and Kaiji. As well as some Professors like Mori and Kouyou.

Another of the competitive Prom King contestants. Didn’t win though due to the influx of Dazai’s fangirls.

Don't let him near Dazai or he might start a fight. Putting them together is worse than WW1.

Dazai Osamu

Very flirtatious and loud. The moment he asked you to dance with him, you already knew the amount of chaos he’d create though he didn’t let you reply, taking your hands into his immediately.

Unlike the other two, he’s very rash at dancing. If he could, he would probably force the orchestra to play disco music. And his dancing style? Oh he’s nothing but a tornado.

Between you two, you’re the lead at dancing since he is an unprofessional mess.

He’s actually sweet. Just... annoying.

“Y/N YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL I WISH TO DIE WITH YOU RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW!”

He will comment on how beautiful you are, telling you that you are a Goddess really loudly for others to hear, leaving you nothing but a tomato red face and more stuttering. But you know he’s being genuine when he lowers his voice.

Prom King. His handsome face led him to have a rain of somewhat mental fangirls (including Akutagawa himself) but it’s not like he cares.

Just like Chuuya, you’re safety is his priority and he wouldn’t care if he offends a paparazzi trying to bash you.

Is mostly seen hanging out and trying to annoy Kunikida, the mathematics quizzer, and Chuuya.

Atsushi Nakajima

Soft boi does not know how to ask you out so he asked help from Kyouka-chan. The result is you sweating nervously while Kyouka threatens you with a cutter she secretly brings everyday in her pocket.

*Insert traumatized noises*

He’s very careful with his moves while dancing with you. The least he could do is copy the moves of the people around him which means that you have to lead him. He’s also very shy and he couldn’t throw a compliment without stuttering and blushing.

He’s very smiley and soft please protect him-

Is mostly seen with Dazai, Kunikida, Kyouka, and the other members of the ADA team.

He will eat all the chazukes present in the party, periodt.

He’d usually converse with you about your passions, what you want to be in the future, among others.

“Y/N, I was curious, what do you want to be in the future?”

“Oh me? Hmm... I want to be a doctor. I want to work with Yosano san and help the sick.”

“Woah... That’s really great Y/N chan! If you ask me, I want to be yours-”

Would laugh at your jokes while watching the competition and cheering for Dazai.

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shachihata · 3 years

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rating bsd characters on whether i could beat them in hand-to-hand combat

atsushi: probably not. i think i could take him if he didn’t shift but like. The man is literally a weretiger if he was using his ability i’d be gone. What else do i have to say

ranpo: i think so but just because he'd lose interest really quickly like if i put something sweet in the general vicinity of our fight he'd go for it immediately and i could just tackle him and go from there

kunikida: i think the sheer force of his belief in his ideals would knock me the fuck over even if he didn't have his little poetry diary. i think i could get like a hit or two in on him though. it'd be a fair loss

dazai: deceptively strong. also like, a former mafia member. i think the only way i'd win is if he was letting me win but also i'd place pretty good bets on him letting me win

kenji: r u srs

tanizaki: i could if he wasn't using his abilities but i wouldn't because naomi exists

naomi: see above. tanizaki would beat my ass if i touched her

kyouka: i care about her too much to try to beat her up but also she's a trained assassin and she'd win without breaking a sweat

yosano: i think i have less chance of beating her than kunikida just because unlike kunikida i don't think she'd hold back. yosano would for real like kill me and i'd let her because how dare my hubris actually let me think i have a chance of beating yosano

fukuzawa: he's old but on god have you watched that man fight? i would be on the ground. Amen to this gilf

katai: the man is literally a shut-in redditor. say no more

mori: i would just because i hate him so bad. i think elise would be on my side as well. literally sheer force of will would carry me through this fight

chuuya: on god bro chuuya could do it single-handed and blindfolded i respect chuuya too much to even challenge him. Not a fight i'm willing to take

kouyou: like chuuya, i Do respect this milf, but not enough not to challenge her. i think i could beat her but only if i took her by surprise like if we were in a fair match i think she'd win but i'd put up a good fight

ace: god this guy is fr a stickbug like hello? he is so fucking bougie i would snap him in half without his stupid little gem collars he has Nothing

karma: yeah this is just a normal guy and a normal fight i’d give us equal chances at success

akutagawa: this is contingent on whether i beat dazai earlier or not. if dazai had let me win akutagawa would be too catatonic to even enter the ring. if dazai had beat me akutagawa would also put me in the grave just to prove a point

higuchi: yeah i think so. this would be a fair fight for sure higuchi doesn't seem like the type to bend the rules. if she saw akutagawa on the floor she might try harder to defend his honor but i think it'd still be at least a good 50/50

hirotsu: like fukuzawa, this is a deceptively strong old man. like he leads the black lizards. i don't have a chance

gin: would give me a fighting chance out of mutual respect but i wouldn't beat her. she's too capable for that

tachihara: hmm this one's tough. maybe? like he's a trained hunting dog but also he's holding a LOT back yknow. i think i could win if i played dirty and started waxing philosophical about "who's your real family" before tackling him

kaiji: ok you saw him in the fight with yosano, without his bombs he is Nothing. also though he looks like he would literally launch himself at me like a feral animal. i'd give myself like a 60% chance on this one

yumeno: This Is A Child. not to mention that their ability is scary as fuck. yumeno would be the one challenging Me to the fight and i would let them win without asking any questions

sakunosuke: i wouldn't fight this dilf literally on moral grounds. he would tell me to step up and i would just forfeit the match. sakunosuke come back to me i miss you pspspspsps

ango: corrupt government agent desk worker? sign me up. i think he'd definitely get a few good hits on me but i'd knock him out just on principle alone

fitzgerald: i would win. he might be a capitalist who literally gets his superpowers from spending his money but i have a special ability called "i am communist" and with it i would knock fitzgerald off of that fucking whale a second goddamn time

alcott: once again i would win but morally? imagine the cost.

poe: man maybe the guild just isn't a physically strong team yknow. poe looks like he would fall over in a stiff breeze. Poe looks like i could punch him in the arm as a joke and they would feel it for a month

hawthorne: hawthorne looks like he'd call me a slur and if he wasn't using his ability i would pummel this fuddy duddy bitch to kingdom come

mitchell: same vibes as hawthorne ngl i'm pretty sure i could take her. she's a milf though so i'd give her a fighting chance

steinbeck: i think this would be a fair fight. also though i would let him win because he hasn't been in the manga since chapter fucking 44 and i miss him so fucking bad steinbeck PLEASE come back and beat fitzgerald's ass for me

lovecraft: tentative yes? like he doesn't look very PHYSICALLY strong, it's mostly just his "eldritch being" thing that makes him a threat, right? if i played it dirty and like, distracted him enough so he's comfortable and not in a state where he'd want to activate his powers then i think i could get at least a few good hits in on him

lucy: yeah easy as long as we're not in her room with anne. if she wasn't using her ability i could take her down easy but if she was and i had to deal with anne too? no thanks

melville: this is an old man but i don’t think this is a Deceptively Strong old man like fukuzawa and hirotsu. i would feel bad fighting him because he does seem like he’s just chilling but i’d do it

twain: he’s a sniper. hand-to-hand i’d knock him out. look at the way that fruit wears his shirt i’m winning this one

dostoevsky: fuck this guy i could and would choke him like the kermit meme. anemic rat bastard would die in one hit. i just have to get him started talking about god or humanity or some shit and then i would go in for the kill

pushkin: he’s a coward i just have to look intimidating and i already have a leg up on him i could take him out and i would enjoy it. he ADMITS that he’s not that physically strong. he’s gone

goncharov: simply based on dedication alone i don’t think i could win like... the minute he thinks about dostoevsky he powers up like a super saiyan. i would take great pleasure in fighting him though

mushitaro: yeah he'd be no problem. what is he, a writer?? he looks like he lives at his desk in shrimp posture for like 16 hrs a day i could knock him out

fukuchi: this old man would fucking murder me without blinking and also at this point in the manga i'm pretty sure he's functionally immortal because of "plot" "armor." if i fought him there would be a dramatic scene where i think i'm going to win before he pulls some bullshit like he has a multidimensional punch or something that killed me the day i was born and retconned the whole fight out of existence

gogol: i would win but only on the condition that i convinced him beforehand that "winning" is a social construct that he is falling prey to and his "want" to "win" is really a loss of free choice. this is more of a verbal battle, not a physical one

stoker: he is a head impaled on a sword. next question

sigma: augh. i wouldn't fight sigma they've gone through enough. if i HAD TO i would win but only if there was absolutely nothing on the line like this is just a friendly spar between friends because the minute sigma gets desperate they go bark bark bark feral and that'd lower my chances significantly

teruko: trained soldier. i would lose and she would enjoy sucking every last ounce of youth out of my shriveled body. freak

jouno: he might be blind but his ability would let him sense me from like a mile away and he's obviously pretty capable in an actual fight. i think i could give him a black eye before i went down though

tetchou: physical embodiment of no thoughts, head empty. in a fair fight? no. if i took him by surprise, then proceeded to distract him by talking about his weird habits and gossiping about the latest hunting dog drama while slowly wearing him down? maybe. 8 times out of 10 though he'd beat my ass i think

shibusawa: funniest man on the fucking planet he is NOTHING without his stupid little feminine-trait crystals i would break his nose hands down and everybody will clap

#ciphertexts #bungou stray dogs

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bandaged-writer · 4 years

Text

gasoline - prologue || dazai

➤ Pairing: Mafia! Dazai x Ability User! Reader

➤ Genre: Action, fluff, angst, smut (maybe? idk yet), gore

➤ Warnings: character death, blood, language, physical abuse, maybe explicit sex but idk man

➤ Summary: What kind of father sold off their child? What kind of father was he? You only had him, after all.

➤ Word count: 1.3k

➤ Note: Starting this lovely series as a gift for reaching 100 followers! Please, let me know what you think. As this series is on-going, the warnings might get updated and will be individual for every chapter.

➤ previous || next

12 years prior..

Sceneries painted by the twilight were certainly a beautiful thing to look at. Many people would admire the sunset like a rose holding crimson petals, inhale its scent like it was the salty breeze of Yokohama’s air and bask in its beauty until it was time to go home to your beloved, family or roommate. Indeed, humans loved beautiful things, but failed to see the thorns hiding on the stem which would end up making them bleed; may it be their thumb or their heart, even. Perhaps, beauty blinded them.

It was no different for the father sitting down on the bench and watching his adorable 8-year-old daughter play with another child so carelessly like nothing could hurt the one he called his flesh and blood. It was a beautiful sight to witness. To see you bouncing up and down on the seesaw with the child whose name remained unknown to your dad. He could only describe the boy; short, brown hair a bit of a mess, twinkling brown eyes and bandages around his forearms. Worry had decorated your father’s face as the boy asked if it was okay to play with you for a while, because what had happened to the young child to be so bandaged up? He agreed nevertheless.

Maybe it was none of his business. Yes, he shouldn’t worry about the child of another person when his daughter had just come home after so many years. He breathed in the salty air, looked at his watch and noticed that it was almost time for dinner. 6 pm. Your father was about to get up and call out your name when a man approached him. The aura of the man was different than that of a parent; that much your dad could tell.

“Your daughter is quite gifted, no?” The man named Mori sat down next to your dad and watched you having fun on the seesaw with the child he had taken under his wing: Dazai. Your dad’s spine straightened, his facial features hardened. Of course, he knew of your ability which you had come back with after your time at the hospital - why? He didn’t know. “How do you know about my daughter’s ability?” The father asked, suddenly protective and not trusting Mori at all. However, Mori never answered that question. There were more important matters the black-haired doctor had to discuss and something precious to gain.

“Allow me to make a prediction for your daughter’s and Yokohama’s future,” Mori began, his gloved pointer finger tapping his temple in feigned thought just to build the suspense running through your father’s blood. “Your daughter’s ability is unstable, because the experiment done on her was neither a full success nor an entire failure, therefore she’s actually very likely to lose control over it,” your dad swallowed the lump in his throat. This was impossible, unbelievable, a lie. It had to be.

What was this guy talking about? What experiment? You’d been at the hospital due to pneumonia, so had your mother told him.

“She has the potential to destroy the entire city if pushed to her very limits. As someone who protects this place, I cannot allow for such a thing to happen and I regret to inform you of this,” Mori pointed his finger towards a bush which was a fair distance away and your dad saw something shimmering between the thick leaves. As he squinted his eyes, cold sweat ran down his spine.

A sniper hid in the bushes, scope fixed on you and probably just waiting for Mori to give him a sign.

“Don’t!” The father’s eyes went wide, realizing how very real Mori’s threat to take your life right then and there was. So many questions whirled within your dad’s mind such as why that doctor spat such nonsense, who the hell he really was and how he could dare to shoot someone in front of his own child - if it was Mori’s own flesh and blood, at all. But your life came before his curiosity. “I’ll give you anything you want! But please, spare my daughter’s life,” your father pleaded, eyes watery and flickering in anxiety. His hands shook, a stone in his stomach and a very bad feeling dawning on the young father. Mori tilted his head in faked innocence, lips almost pursed as he weighed his options.

“Anything you say?”

“Yes! What is it that you want? Money or perhaps-”

“Then I want your daughter.”

Taken aback, your father failed to formulate any words that would make sense. He was utterly speechless and desperate. Was he really to give you away to someone as shady as this doctor?

“Hand over your daughter in exactly 12 years and she’ll live. Refuse and her life will find its end right here, right now.”

A dead end. There was no room for negotiation, no mercy in Mori’s eyes nor any signs that this was a sick joke, an incredibly bad nightmare your father could wake up from. This was reality and it was worse than anything he could ever imagine. Your father’s eyes looked at your smiling, innocent self, his heart heavy with the decision he had to make, although he already knew the answer.

“..I’ll hand her over to you in 12 years,” your dad spoke in a defeated tone, his shoulders suddenly weighing more than the world’s sins combined. What kind of father sold off their child? What kind of father was he? You only had him, after all. Mori, on the other hand, was delighted at pleasant answer. Of course, no father would want their child’s life to be taken away. He clapped his gloved hands together, a genuinely delighted smile on his face. “I see you made the right decision,” he spoke and stood up, dusting off his coat and calling for the child named Dazai. “I’ll see you in 12 years, then!”

With those words being said, Mori left the playground along with Dazai and stepped into a matte black car which had just pulled up. As if this entire scenario had been carefully calculated beforehand. Defeated and helpless, your father buried his face in his hands, wanted to rip his hair out for making such a crude decision, but it was so that you could live.

Yes, it was only for you.

Gazing out of the window, Dazai sighed against the glass and watched it fog up with a bored expression on his face. “What’s so special about that girl?” He asked, not aware of the mafioso’s plan which was carefully planned out. Up to that point, everything had played into Mori’s hands but what would happen in 12 years? That was a gamble. Dazai’s mentor only smiled in response. “This is something for you to witness, Dazai-kun.”

His attention then shifted towards the driver, an incredibly skilled executive of the mafia. “Kouyou-kun. Please, make sure to send the girl a bouquet of orange lilies for her birthday, every year. He shall not forget his promise, after all,” Mori pushed some of his hair back and pulled out his phone as he seemed to be calculating a little gift for the dad. He wasn’t a cruel man. Of course, Mori would cover the expenses for a child until it reached its 20th birthday; one could look at it as a compensation for the emotional stress he had just put your father through. “Orange lilies?” Kouyou asked, her eyebrows raised in surprise. “Don’t you think this is a bit harsh?” However, as Kouyou only received an effortless “no” from the mafioso, she couldn’t help but sigh into the sleeve of her kimono, her other hand on the steering wheel.

What a shame to stain a little flower’s petals so early on in her life, Kouyou thought.

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd #bsd x reader #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #fic: gasoline

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izanyas · 4 years

Note

prompt suggestions!- the phantom thieves pov regarding akechi and akira's relationship, a continuation of portrait of you with uraraka as a working hero, a snippet of agency chuuya ...?

it’s been 10000 years since i updated Nothing Noble and you guys will have to wait 10000 more years before i can get back to it so here, have chuuya and dazai’s reunion, you deserve it

When Chuuya woke up, it was to the distorted and fake sound of gunshots, and grunts and cries running thin through the cool air. A video game, he thought blearily, his head ringing still with the blow of the girl’s ability—a demon with a sword folding out of her back, just like—

His temple throbbed. Chuuya groaned, frowning, feeling the dry pull of skin under crusting blood. So sharp was the pain that he felt nauseous; and either the girl had been as highly-trained as she had looked, or he was very lucky, for a few centimeters lower and he could have died on the spot. He swallowed back the bile. He exhaled painfully, and reached up to touch the wound.

Or he tried, at least.

His right wrist was stopped by a bond of some kind. His left wrist by another—a skin-soft, skin-warm other.

New cries and gunshots rang out of the game just as Chuuya realized that the emptiness in his chest was not simply due to fatigue.

“Oh, just great,” he spat out.

His voice broke over the words, but it was no matter. Chuuya was having to breathe and clench the teeth now, to acquaint himself again with the feeling of nothingness where his ability should lay. The fingers circling his wrist tightened.

“Welcome back,” Dazai replied. “Please don’t bark so loudly, I’m trying to beat my record.”

Chuuya inhaled sharply and opened his eyes.

He immediately regretted it: the light of the port mafia’s infirmary was still the disgusting, blinding white he remembered from his childhood, and the brightness made the side of his head shout with pain. He was definitely concussed, he thought, feeling nausea roll up his throat. With any luck he’d vomit on Dazai’s clothes and not his own.

Dazai took his sweet time. As if wanting to draw out the moment—and maybe he did, the sadistic bastard—he finished his game. He must be doing it one-handedly too, considering his fingers hadn’t let go of Chuuya’s wrist for a second. Chuuya refused to be the one to look at him first. He sat straighter in the chair he was bound to and stared at the window opposite him, through which a pale square of grey sky showed.

At last, the victory jingle of Dazai’s game rang in the silence. Dazai let it play for a while before turning off his console. He sighed loudly; the very sound of it made Chuuya’s chest feel tight, pressurized. Dazai rose to his feet, still holding Chuuya by the wrist, before letting go. He walked around the chair to stand before him.

And Chuuya would rather die than look meek before someone, before Dazai, so he met his eyes defiantly.

He was so stupidly tall. Of course Dazai had always been lanky, skinny and long-limbed, but now his legs and torso stretched without the awkwardness of adolescence. His face was thinner, his eyes wider-apart. His hair was still the same mess, lighter-brown rather than black.

His shoulders had grown to fit the coat Mori had given him so long ago.

“I hate what you’ve done with the hair,” Dazai told him conversationally.

His voice was deeper too.

“Piss off,” Chuuya couldn’t help but reply.

“I wish. I’ve been holding it back for an hour.”

“I can’t fucking believe you.”

Dazai looked thoughtfully aside. “I see you haven’t gotten any less rude,” he said, still in that same even voice Chuuya had always despised. “Although you have gotten weaker.”

“Let me go,” Chuuya growled, all of his body strained against the bonds; “and I’ll show you just how weak I am, you son of a whore.”

Silenced crushed the space between them to smithereens.

Dazai sighed again. His fingers found the side of Chuuya’s neck a few seconds at most before the Tainted Sorrow would have gone back to him. Chuuya wanted to rage as the feeling of emptiness deepened; he wanted to bite off Dazai’s hand, to spit out of his own chest the nostalgia now holding him back.

“Well, I can’t say I didn’t use Kyouka-chan for this purpose,” Dazai said. The pad of his thump pressed right above Chuuya’s clavicle, right under the collar of Chuuya’s shirt; right above his pulse. “I was counting on the surprise. Good thinking, me.”

“You’re such a piss poor excuse for a human being.”

“You’ll hurt my feelings.”

Chuuya snorted audibly.

Still, he was reeling from the sight of the girl’s ability. Still his heart ached with the memory of Kouyou’s Golden Demon.

“Who is she?” he asked.

Dazai’s hand shifted around his neck. It fit against the line of his shoulder full-palmed. “Izumi Kyouka,” he replied at last. “Her ability is called Demon Snow. Looks a lot like ane-san’s, doesn’t it? I even dressed her up like her—”

Chuuya’s foot erupted out of the rope keeping it tied to the chair leg and hit Dazai in the belly.

Dazai crashed into the opposite wall satisfactorily. The sound of broken wood as he fell over the desk there was music to Chuuya’s ears, as much as the pained grunt he let out, squeezed from his throat. Chuuya bit down on the twisted regret flaring up his ribcage. He lowered his foot again, focusing on the pain of rope-burn and of his twisted ankle.

“Don’t fucking say her name,” he warned Dazai lowly.

Dazai pushed himself to his feet again slowly while Chuuya tested the give of the chair under him. It was bolted to the floor, and his left foot was too solidly roped to hope to tear it out as well. He couldn’t risk two twisted ankles while in port mafia custody. Still he tensed within his bonds, his spined arched off of the wooden backrest as far as it would go, his arms bulging against the rope. When Dazai touched his neck again, he growled in frustration.

“You’re such an animal,” Dazai complained.

His voice was hollow. Chuuya saw with half-satisfaction, half-guilt that his right shoulder hung limply out of its socket.

“You’ve been hiding around civilized people for years, and you still act like this? I’ve heard of Fukuzawa Yukichi, you know. Mori-san calls him a righteous man. It’s a wonder he welcomed you into his group.”

“Mori won’t be saying shit for much longer,” Chuuya bit out harshly.

“Biting and barking and drooling everywhere,” Dazai replied. “You know you won’t get to him like this. Or to Ango.”

Or to me, he didn’t say.

Chuuya wouldn’t have know what to do if he had.

Dazai’s hand lifted from his neck again. Chuuya jumped back as it rose into his face, hating himself for it and hating Dazai more—but Dazai did not laugh or make any comments to him. His hand simply followed the path of Chuuya’s head until it knocked into the wall; then he touched Chuuya’s cheek right where gauze hid the scar. His cold fingers pinched the edges of it and tore it away without a care.

The ugly hole there always stung when the weather was damp and cold; it stung now, being freed from the bandage, a crater of scar and skin high up on Chuuya’s bone. Dazai looked at it in silence.

When he could stand it no longer—when the quiet grated at him and made him feel as though his skin were being peeled away—Chuuya spat out: “Admiring your handiwork?”

Dazai breathed out quickly. He threw the dirty gauze into a paper-basket by the desk with disgusting accuracy, then rubbed at the finger hanging from his dislocated arm for a second. He took hold of Chuuya’s shoulder again and did not look at him.

“You’re out of luck,” he said, even and bored. “Mori isn’t in Yokohama now. Neither is Ango.”

“Like you would know if he was.”

“He was my friend, you know,” Dazai whined to him.

Chuuya was about to kick him again, twisted ankle or not, when someone knocked on the door.

They looked at each other in silence before looking away as one; Dazai’s hand flexing over Chuuya’s shoulder as if to brace him, Chuuya’s hurt foot touching the floor as if ready to kick away and fly.

As if this were combat, the both of them standing on the same side again.

Oda Sakunosuke entered first. He took one look at Chuuya, his serious face plying with—with pity or fucking compassion, Chuuya didn’t know and didn’t care. If he had the means now, he would plunge a first through Oda’s chest and tear out his beating heart, no matter that he had once protected him for Dazai’s sake.

Oda may now where Sakaguchi was. Out of them all, he was the most likely to know, and the most likely to be able to hide the information from Dazai successfully.

“Don’t bite, now,” Dazai murmured.

His fingernails dug into the soft flesh between bone and tendon, made all the easier to feel for Chuuya’s tension. Chuuya clenched his teeth. Dazai threatening him physically again, without even a gun this time—what a joke.

He relaxed only when he saw the shadow behind Oda: Akutagawa, as tall and skinny as Chuuya had seen him last over the tiger boy’s prone body; and still looking at him now with fear in his eyes.

Dazai’s hold relaxed. His hand left Chuuya’s body altogether as he walked leisurely toward his subordinate. “Did you bring it?” he asked jovially.

“Yes,” Akutagawa rasped out.

He handed over a small box, which Dazai took from him without a word. Akutagawa stood still then, his hand still outstretched, his eyes still jumping between Chuuya and the floor uneasily. His black coat seemed to shiver about his skin as if moved by his powers; as if, even now, Rashoumon were preparing for someone to bring a knife out.

“Hi,” Chuuya told him bluntly. “How’s that wound?”

Akutagawa jumped. Rashoumon flared off of his shoulders like wings, posing against the door at his back in defense.

“Thank you,” Dazai said pointedly. He threw Akutagawa a dark look. “You’re dismissed. Shoo.”

Akutagawa didn’t have to be asked twice. He nodded curtly and left, bowing the head when he passed by Oda’s side, who gave him the same look he had given Chuuya.

Chuuya’s guts squirmed unpleasantly. “What the hell did you put through that kid’s head?” he asked Dazai. “He keeps looking at me like I’m about to tear him a new one.”

“Nothing much,” Dazai replied distractedly. “Just incentive enough not to get any ideas about fraternizing with you.”

Oda shook his head and sighed. He still hadn’t said a word.

Dazai did not look at him anyway: his hands were busy with the box Akutagawa had brought. He slid the lid of it open one-handedly, taking out a syringe full of water-clear liquid, letting the box drop to the floor uselessly.

Chuuya’s heart skipped a beat. The pain in his temple sharpened; he pulled against his restraints uselessly.

“What the fuck is that,” he growled.

“Just something to keep you nice and put while I tend to some business,” Dazai replied, flicking a nail against the glass vial. “Now be still.”

Excess air erupted out of the needle head, and a droplet fell out and crashed onto the wooden floor.

Bile swarmed within Chuuya’s mouth.

He hardly saw Dazai approach. His ears rang under the rush of his own blood; fear the likes of which he hadn’t known in fifteen years blinded him, taking away sight and smells and sounds, as if he were afloat in green water again; from deep within his belly, the growl of a great beast echoed, enraged, uncontrollable. Pulling against the bright-gold bonds that Fukuzawa’s ability granted, showing Chuuya once again what a flimsy excuse for control this was—

“Dazai.”

Chuuya stilled, and blinked, and heaved.

That had been Oda’s voice. Dazai had stilled as well, his cold hand frozen upon the skin of Chuuya’s forearm. Chuuya first saw Oda standing behind Dazai and having grabbed Dazai’s unhurt shoulder; then he looked at Dazai, whose eyes were wide open and fixed onto Chuuya’s face.

There was an expression there that Chuuya had seen before, a long time ago. Something fragile, something outlining the youth of Dazai’s mouth and cheeks, the fatigue bruised under his eyes. Something that made Dazai lift his injured arm as if to touch Chuuya’s neck again—as if to brush fingers against the numbers tattooed at his nape, as he once did every time Corruption ravaged Chuuya whole—before he stilled.

His hand fell. His thumb rubbed at the side of index nervously. He stared at Chuuya in silence, his other hand still pressed to Chuuya’s forearm.

“It’s just a sedative,” Dazai said. “And something to keep your powers in check.”

His voice was unbearably soft.

Chuuya licked his lips. His temple throbbed. “This is supposed to reassure me?” he rasped out.

“No,” Dazai replied immediately.

But it had, and he knew it. They both knew it.

Still Chuuya tried to jerk his hand back with Dazai took hold of him again. Still a whimper tried to escape his lips when the needle punctured his skin, as his mind once more shook with half-buried memories, with the sight of a book torn out of a dead man’s hand, showing pictures he wished he had never seen.

There were so many things one could do to him while sedated and powerless, even if Mori was far, even if Dazai stood before him with more sanity in his eyes than when they were children. Chuuya breathed in deeply. The very slight ache of the needle pulling out made him want to cry out.

Dazai’s hand lingered above his skin for a moment longer. He wiped the small wound with his thumb when a single drop of blood leaked out; he backed away; he pressed his palm to Chuuya’s skin again, and then stepped back entirely.

“I hate you,” Chuuya let out uselessly.

Dazai stared at him in silence. Already Chuuya could feel his eyelids weigh down as the sedative worked through him. He blinked open his eyes forcefully. Dazai’s face blurred and swayed, pale and haunting.

As consciousness faded from Chuuya, Dazai replied, “I know. You’re right to.”

The last Chuuya saw of him before darkness took him was the flutter of a black coat and a bowed head of brown hair; and his last thought flew to that same dark hair in the moonlight, to a blasted-open hangar stained with the blood of dozens of strangers—

—to Dazai holding a glistening pistol up, shaking through his body, begging him: “Please. Don’t make me do this.”

#bsd #soukoku #bungou stray dogs #fic: nothing noble #tumblr fic #anon #answered

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yandere-romanticaa · 5 years

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The Guild.

The Guild members are definitely a very interesting bunch. They will do pretty much anything to have their darlings by their sides, but they wouldn't really want to "break" the law. But, that doesn't mean that they don't play dirty. Dirty, dirty, the Guild members have so much money and do many connections that they don't need to get their hands bloody. That can only make them even more dangerous though.

♡ Francis Fitzgerald ♡

Francis is a determined individual who will do anything to have his darling. He has an incredible amount of money and he can buy his s/o literally anything they want. That pretty dress you saw in the shop? Consider it yours. Any kind of debt causing you trouble? It's payed off in less then five minutes. He's basically a sugar daddy. Same with some other characters like Chuuya or Mori tbh.

He also has men follow his s/o around. He knows everything about them. Their personal life, their family, their friends, their hobbies, literally everything. He wants to know everything so that he can give his s/o everything they could possibly want. He is making a house just for them and it is going to be filled to the brim with all sorts of books, dresses...

Fitzgerald isn't very affectionate but he likes to keep his s/o near him. He will probably make a designer collar for them and he will often pull on it. It can be for any reason really. He wants everybody to know that s/o belongs to him, but he also likes to humiliate them, especially if they misbehaved. You could even call him a bit sadistic as s/o will have scars and bruises all over their neck and Francis just loves them.

♡ Louisa May Alcott ♡

Louisa has a very hard time when it comes to expressing her feelings. She wants to do everything she can to make s/o's life easier and happier, but she just can't form a coherent sentence around them. She feels as though she is undeserving of s/o's attention, but she will be damned if she lets them fall for someone else.

She often writes down random little things about her s/o on a nearby paper and always tries to memorize them. Whenever she is able to have a proper conversation with her s/o, Louisa tries to stay calm and composed but the blush on her cheeks and her constant stuttering really shows just how nervous she is. She always enjoys those conversations though, and s/o is always so patient and understanding with her, it's practically impossible not to fall for them.

s/o is also one of the few people that actually really appreciate Louisa's hard work and they always offer her any kind of help they can. Sweet Louisa truly appreciates this, but always silently though. She always leaves "mysterious" little letters near s/o's office or she always bakes them cookies or similar treats. She also always tries to keep a constant eye on them because she fears that they will fall for someone else. But with her sweet demeanor, how could you not fall for Louisa? She is sweet, kind, endlessly patient.... But the more devotion her s/o showed her, the more of Louisa's true colours start to show...

♡ John Steinbeck ♡

The first impression s/o gets from John is that he is a very friendly and nice person. He's always super relaxed around them and he always has a smile on his face, especially if s/o is in the room. He always has a smile reserved just for them, no matter how hard his day was.

But over time John's true intentions will start to show. He starts to get more handsy and possessive of his s/o, never letting them leave his side. He also gives them cute little gifts from time to time, but the way he looks at his s/o as he is giving them is just so creepy. He is just waiting to see what kind of reaction s/o will have, and he is dying to know if he pleased them. He also doesn't like to see his s/o talking to other people, especially Fitzgerald. God, he just gets so jealous and annoyed, it's driving him nuts!

He also dreams about having a family with his s/o. He wants his s/o to meet his family back at home, especially his little sister. He would be the happiest the man in the world if his s/o shares the same dream as him. He could just marry them on the spot if that was the case! But, John is a patient man. He still wants to properly court his s/o, he wants for them to genuinely love him before he actually does do anything drastic.

♡ Nathaniel Hawthorne ♡

Nathaniel doesn't quite understand what he is feeling. He doesn't understand why his heart starts to beat the way it does whenever s/o is around, he doesn't understand why he feels the need to protect his s/o from all of the sinners in this filthy world.

But he can't help but to work for if s/o is actually some kind of devil in disguise. A devil sent to make his life a living Hell, to give him even more anxiety and trouble. As much as he hates it, he craves for s/o's undivided attention. He will furiously deny his feelings, and he will say that people s/o only deserve the worst things in the world, but he just can't see just how hypocritical he is being.

He will beat and cut his s/o down with incredibly harsh words and gestures, but he will always come back. He will come back to his darling because deep down he knows that he needs them.

♡ Lucy Maud Montgomery ♡

Lucy is a strange mix between a tsundere and a yandere. Similar to Nathaniel, she will deny her feelings and she just flat out refuses to accept them. How on Earth was she able to fall for someone so soft? So fragile?

So weak?

She will resent her s/o for a good chunk of time, but the other Guild members are starting to notice her weird change of behavior. It is kind of obvious that she likes someone, but no one knows who. If Lucy gets teased for her behavior she is only going to become more angry. She just doesn't know what to do and how to react to her s/o. Should she panic? Or should she shower them with endless kisses? But one thing is for sure, she is the jealous type and she does not like the fact that her s/o is so close to everybody.

Out of everyone in the Guild, Lucy is probably one of the first people that would just completely snap. Her ability also becomes very useful when she wants s/o all to herself...

♡ Edgar Allan Poe ♡

Oh, poor Edgar. He can just feel his heart clench in pain when s/o is paying attention to other people. In a way he can't blame them though, because he almost actually never outright speaks to them. He just gets so shy because, how on Earth can he communicate with this angel? So, he is only left with one option.

Poe is going to express his love the only way he can, and that is through poetry.

Ah, Poe has dedicated so many poems and stories to his beloved! He has scrapped even more, because they simply do not capture s/o's beauty. Edgar is desperate to get s/o's attention, but it will take him a while to actually send one of his countless letters. But when Poe sees that breath taking smile on s/o's face when he sees them reading it, Poe is going to be even more determined to send s/o even longer letters.

At first the letters were nothing more but for Poe to anonymously proclaim his undying love to his s/o. But the letters will turn from sweetly romantic to more...disturbing.

Poe is going to go more and more in to detail in to what he exactly wants to do with his s/o in each new letter. The soft confessions of love have been turned in to something far more twisted and dark for s/o to deal with. The final straw was when s/o received a letter that was written with red ink. The ink was just weird. It was too thick and it just looked like it didn't belong there at all. The odd metallic smell that accompanied it didn't help either. But, when s/o read the letter, they discovered what the ink actually was.

It was human blood.

♡ Margaret Mitchell ♡

Margaret is definitely the type to soil her s/o rotten, but not as much as Fitzgerald. She isn't as flashy as him,but she is just as touchy feely as he is, if not even more.

Margaret likes to keep the things that are dear to her near, but she always gets super depressed when she has to go overseas somewhere. Just the thought of leaving her darling s/o all alone just brings her endless misery! She wants them to see the world with her, even if s/o is completely covered in chains.

Make no mistakes though, Margaret does not tolerate disobedience, but she isn't as harsh as some other place like Kouyou for example. Yes, she will leave bruises on her s/o but she isn't sadistic. She is not keen on punishments, but she can be harsh if necessary.

♡ Mark Twain ♡

Oof, poor Mark. Literally everyone else will figure out that he has fallen for someone, but he is yet to realize this. Unlike the majority, Mark won't shy away from his s/o. No, he is going to be very bold and maybe even downright flirty with his s/o. He will be a bit shaken up if his s/o flirts back though, even if it was nothing more then a joke.

One of Mark's favorite hobbies is messing with his s/o, and he is honestly a master at it. I feel like Mark would just adore someone who is just so fun to tease, and he would love nothing more then to shower his s/o in gifts and affection. But he can be a real asshole. Even while threatening s/o's friends, he still has that damned smirk on his face. He gets really smug if things go his way, and this is almost always the case. Mark knows what he wants, and once he sets his eyes on s/o, that's it, they are his.

Sorry this is so random and crappy, I just really wanted to write something for these guys.

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mysaldate · 5 years

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On the topic of BSD mental issues..

Because a lot of people in this fandom just LOVE to bestow their own mental problems on characters and even go so far as to claim not a single BSD character is mentally alright, I went on a little rant to debunk this bulshit of a claim. If you’re one of those who support the “everyone is mentally ill because I said so” theory, don’t even bother reading this, please, and save us both the time.

If you do read, however, please keep in mind those are just my opinions and analysis and why I personally find the claim that everyone is mentally ill bulshit. You’re free to believe what you want but I’ve had multiple people come spurting out insults at me simply for not believing every single character is mentally diasbled.

First, our beloved ADA Atsushi - He's actually doing really well. Sure, he's not 100% ok but we were given no serious childhood trauma impacts (except for flashbacks that don't really... do anything to him mentally except for motivating him to do better which is, you know, not a sign of mental illness), he doesn't have self-destructive tendencies, he doesn't feel like he owes the society anything but he doesn't slip to nihilism either. His motivations are humane and sane and relatable. I mean, if anyone told you your friends would be in mortal danger if you stay with them, wouldn't you try to get away from them too? Dazai - Ok, Dazai is far from stable. He still handles his issues surprisingly well though and his constant suicide attempts are really played off as a joke, which is not the best way to handle them but it takes a lot of seriousness from it and kind of makes it hard to believe it's what he actually wants to do with his life. Especially since there are times where he goes out of his way to make sure he stays alive (Dead Apple being just one example). Kunikida - Arguably one of the most stable characters in the show. Some people claim he has OCD but have you ever seen an actual OCD patient? His love for schedules and hard time when they can't be kept is something that runs in my family and nobody has ever been diagnosed with OCD. People need to realize that having your life planned out is not a mental illness. Yosano - I'm a little more benevolent about Yosano, especially since she has a more psychotic side to her and she seems actually damaged by her childhood but I stiil stand my point that she is doing extremely well for someone who supposedly has a mental illness. It's almost as if the "insane" side of her was purposedly overblown for comedic purposes. Ranpo - I know a lot of people say he's autistic but I don't agree with that hc. Why? Well, I have a classmate who's not autistic and she's exactly like him. She's smart, almost genius, has great deduce skills and brilliant crime-solving abilities (tested multiple times with Black Stories or whatever that game is called in english) but she is unable to live on her own. She knows close to nothing about real life, skills used for everyday functioning and as for public transport, she only learnt how to use it recently and she's almost 19 years old. I also have an autistic friend who specifically said he'd find it insulting to hear that Ranpo is supposedly autistic. Tanizaki - I'm not sure what to say here, Tanizaki is a normal guy. Nothing special about him. He's willing to go great lengths for his little sister but I think anyone with younger siblings can relate to that. At least anyone who cares for their younger siblings. Kenji - Go on and tell me how Kenji of all people has a mental illness, I dare you. And if you pull out his cheeriness, you're obviously just too depressed to fathom that some people might actually enjoy life. Fukuzawa - Again, one of the most stable characters in the series. Say what you will but he's not unstable and his ability to stay calm at almost any situation except for when his kids are in danger is just further proof of this. Kyouka - I'd say she might have issues. My afforementioned autistic classmate pointed out that she feels autistic to him so there's that. Also her childhood visibly screwed her over. However, she's still surprisingly stable and normal despite all of that so while she might have some issues, they are greatly balanced by her strong will and natural personality. Naomi - I wouldn't say Naomi is 100% ok in the head but not to a point where I'd claim an actual mental illness. Sure, I'm not a doctor but nor is anyone who diagnoses her with whatever it is they diagnose her with. Haruno - And exactly what is wrong about Haruno? She's cute, positive, cheery, hard-working and supportive. And she gets scared in situations that invoke this. Literally NOTHING weird.

Next up is our dear Port Mafia Akutagawa - No denying it, Aku has serious issues. Again though, he's doing far better than most people with similar problems but that could just be due to him letting his frustrations out via murder. Chuuya - No issue found here. Sure, he's a little short-tempered but that's about it. A lot of people are short-tempered without being mentally ill. And he could be portrayed with some serious issues due to his origin and past. Gin - Do we even know enough about her to diagnoze her? All we know is that she's silent, a little shy and that she's always on odds with Tachihara. Make me a diagnosis from that. Higuchi - Aside from her massive crush on Aku, there's nothing weird about her. She probably picked the wrong job but she's willing to work hard anyway to earn her place there,, which is not exactly typical for people with mental illnesses. Hirotsu - STABLE PERSON. Just... what else is there to him? He is literally the voice of reason who commands the black lizard solely because he can actually keep them under control. Geez, there is literally nothing linking him to any mental problem! Kajii - This guy's got issues, no denying it. And I won't even say he could do worse because obviously he could but he's fairly close to being the insanest (is that a word?) he can get. Kouyou - Oh look, ANOTHER completely stable person. I mean, come on, she's been an executive since Dazai and Chuuya were 15, that's seven years. Clearly she couldn't hold her position if she weren't stable. Not to mention, we saw her being stable in stressing situations so. many. times. Elise - She's an ability. No comment. Mori - Yes, he has his issues. But he's the hypercompetent Mafia boss who stayed in charge for a very long time already and there's no sign of anyone overthrowing him any time soon, nor planning to because he's just a great leader, something he couldn't be if he was mentally ill. Oda - Do I even need to elaborate on this? Oda is very probably the sanest person we got, one who sees the wrongs of his past and does his best to overcome them and repent, all of which goes without him being depressed or self-loathing in the slightest. Randou - This has been talked about a lot. Randou is sensitive and impulsive and sometimes acts on emotions rather than rationallity. None of that makes him a mentally ill person. It just makes him a person, a human being we can all relate to. Ace - Ace is a selfish human being who thinks too highly of himself and is manipulative and abusive. Is that a problem? Yes, obviously. Is that a mental illness? Not necessarily and more likely no than yes. He does things for his personal gain and everything went his way for far too long for him to expect it to go any other way. And as we all know, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutelly. Q - Does anyone really think Q is sane?

Now for the group that so many people dislike it’s honestly sad, the Guild Francis - Francis is, first and foremost, a very loving husband and father. He goes on this insane mission to Japan to obtain a mystical object he believes is real but never got any deffinite proof of. Is he naive? Perhaps so. And after he loses, he gets depressed and broken because he finds out his wedding ring disappeared, probably because his wife did something. That breaks him. And honestly? He has every right to break down. It's understandable and human and it does not make him mentally ill. Louisa - While yes, she is very shy and some argue she has some sort of anxiety disorder, all of this can be explained by the fact that she's practically a child. She's 18 dammit. Who could leave their home country at 18 only with an organization of older people, who also all seem very sure of themselves, while having no combat ability and nothing to really bring to the table? If she were mentally weak, there's no way she'd go looking for Francis after his fall, it's actually more likely she'd hurry back home, probably with tears and fear of being arrested if she were to stay in Japan for longer. Margaret - Name me one thing that makes you think Margaret of all people would have a mental issue. One thing. Most of her screentime is her being a vegetable. And while that is certainly a health problem, not a mental health one. Nathaniel - Hey, he was completely ok before meeting Fyodor. Being religious is not a mental health problem and f you if you say otherwise. John - Again, nothing unstable about John. He's not even that selfish, doing what he can to support his family and even picking up the remainings of the Guild to keep the people together and give them new hope because, y'know, hope is very important to people. Lovecraft - He's not even human. You can't apply human mental health logic to him. Herman - We've seen him for how much... 2 minutes total? And even from just that, he seemed like a calm and composed guy. No sign of mental problems whatsoever. Mark - He's hyper, that's what people say at least. But is he really? Kind of hard to believe when all we've seen of him is two scenes of adrenalin rush, one scene where he tries to lift the spirits of his coworkers and one scene where he just decides to go back home because this adventure is obviously over. No sign of mental illness here either. Lucy - A little more visible traumatic impact than with Atsushi and some abandonment issues, which are completely understandable and relatable. Not necessarily a mental illness. Poe - Ok so Poe doesn't feel well in company of others and he is a little psychotic when he gets too into his self-assigned role but 1) introverts are not mentally ill and 2) it's completely natural to get carried away when we witness the person we believe wronged us getting some karma back.

The one group that appeared for such a short time, yet everyone seems to love them, the Rats Fyodor - The most obvious god complex, clearly. He's not sane but he's stable so there's that. Nobody says he's ok, he's clearly not. But he's composed and smart enough to not let his issues control him. Ivan - Part of his brain is literally gone. He's not ok. he can't be. And unless part of your brain is missing too, you physically can't relate to him. Pushkin - Actually a stable, understandable character. Weak men are known through all of history to be the causes of major drama simply because their complexes over being weak lead to them finding joy in torturing the strong. It's not a mental illness, it's just bad character. Oguri - Clearly, Ogugu has issues. Call it survivor's guilt or PTSD or whatever you want, he has issues. Nobody is denying that. Still, he's doing fairly well when not desperatelly trying to seem evil.

I do not feel like doing the Hunting Dogs for the sole reason of me not liking them enough to focus on their mental states but they are pretty much lab rats, artificially enhanced humans and that alone should be enough to explain why I don’t believe in applying normal psychology to them. As for the Decay of Angels, there’s still much more to learn about them so I won’t get into that just yet. And when it comes to the governmental agents, I haven’t read the novels so I only know a bit about Ango and I honestly don’t see how anyone could think Ango has a mental illness.

I repeat again, these are my opinions, based on my experiences and what I’ve studied about mental illnesses (because believe it or not, I study about these things quite a lot). It doesn’t fit except for Tumblr romanticised versions of them and even those are iffy. You’re free to agree and disagree with all of this or with just certain parts but please don’t feel required to share your thoughts, I frankly don’t much care.

With that I bid you goodbye, at least until another thing prompts me to make a long-ass analysis almost nobody will read, nor care for.

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lethesomething · 6 years

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Dazai and the ladies

Hey Nonny! Ooh, an excuse to talk about my favourite chapter in BSD! Don't mind if I do. So the scene you're talking about is this one, in the Double Black episode.

It's very much played for humour. Throughout the chapter, they're constantly dragging each other and this is like the one thing that actually seems to give Dazai pause for a moment. But how much truth is there in it? Now there's a question.

Dazai the flirt

Dazai is aggressively, vocally into women. It's one of the first things we ever learn about him.

I'm not, here, gonna go into whether or not the boy doth protest too much, but I don't think I will shock anyone by saying that he is, when it comes to women he doesn't know, an incredible flirt. He's seemingly forever trying to get in the pants of the waitress at their coffee bar, he lays it on super thick with clients, etc.

It's interesting to note here that most of that is an act.

For one, he only seems to do this to women that are not close to him. We, as readers/viewers, also know that he doesn't mean it. Any of it. He's probably already suspicious of Higuchi long before he decides to 'woo' her. The same for the waitress. He's not actually expecting her to go "Oh yes, random weirdo who hangs out here but rarely pays his tab, let's go drown ourselves together. It'll be romantic." We know Dazai as a highly intelligent man, who is very adept at reading moods. No way in hell would he be so unaware as to think his blunt flirtations would ever actually work.

Dazai the womanizer

So where does that flirt/womanizer idea come from? As you say, nonny, a lot of that is down to Dazai's real life counterpart.

!Historical Dazai ( born Tsushima Shüji) was a pretty tragic figure. He attempted, multiple times, to take his own life, several times in a 'double suicide' that cost the life of at least two young women, besides his own. To say that !Historical Dazai's history with women is painful, is to put it mildly. That stuff is straight messed up.

Now, it's tempting to think of !Maffia Dazai as reflecting the tragedies of !Historical Dazai. It's fairly obvious that the character is based on the writer, and !Maffia Dazai is certainly… broken enough. Whereas!Agency Dazai mostly jokes about the suicide thing, and has long since given up actually killing, !Maffia Dazai is shown as extremely nihilistic and just downright depressed. He is cold, and cruel, and just... really sad. I wouldn't put it past him to try and drown his sorrows in women, like he does in liquor. !Historical Dazai didn't only have several wives, he had a thing for prostitutes, hostesses and geisha's, which would fit neatly into the maffia persona. It is even possible that he ruined the lives of several of these women, the same way (or worse) as !Historical Dazai did. We are not shown evidence of this in the series (at this point), but it's certainly a possibility.

If you think of it that way, all those jokes of his do take on a decidedly dark turn. It's one thing to joke about your own death (we're on tumblr, people do it all the time), it's another to talk of double suicides if you've actually ruined a young woman's life. In that sense, Chuuya's threat is also incredibly bleak. The initial idea when you read that joke is the whole 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' thing, but in this situation, it would rip open some old wounds and guilt on Dazai's part.

But that is probably reading Too Much into what is essentially a good joke. Let's assume that Dazai, being a big shot mobster, had a whole bunch of flings with dancing girls or whatever, and that he dumped them like the troll he is.

Dazai the s/o

Headcanon time!

I think it's safe to say that !Agency Dazai is not the same man as !Maffia Dazai, or !Historical Dazai. Mentally, it seems to me as if Dazai is now in a better place, and the same goes for his relationships with the world around him. His general stance seems to be ‘don’t harm, care if you must, but troll the shit out of everyone’. Please note how much respect he has for Yosano, how he treats Naomi and Kyouka (once she's inducted). He deeply cares about these people, but he also trolls the shit out of them. The same pretty much goes for the likes of Maffia and Guild members, such as Chuuya, Kouyou, Akutagawa, heck, even Q. He ostensibly hates these people, but he's not about to truly hurt them. He just trolls the shit out of them. It is like this for pretty much the whole world. Dazai saves lives. It’s what he does, but he’s not exactly a gentleman about it. He protects, but he also trolls.

So what this means for any s/o he may have, is that at the very least, they will be trolled on a near-daily basis.

The question is: would Dazai even have an s/o. I'm pretty big on the importance of healthy relationships, and I am also fairly certain that Dazai, in his current state, is incapable of having a healthy, loving relationship with any s/o. He cannot love another, because he friggin hates himself. It's gonna take a very long time to heal that. And I think Dazai, in his current state, is also wise enough to realize when a relationship isn't healthy, and to avoid it. He may be prone to flirtations, to flitting from one person to the next, to double suicides, even, but at this point he's also trying very hard to avoid those situations from ever happening. He claims, way near the start of the show, to want a death where there are no victims but himself. To do this, he builds walls around himself, even as he is with people that are close to him.

You can see that in the way he treats someone like Atsushi. He cares deeply about Atsushi, I truly believe this, he wants to guide him and watch him grow, he wants to give him important advice to help that boy heal his wounds, but at the same time, he keeps his distance (see that 'i'm not into guys' thing up there). His first instinct in any situation is to push people away, to gloss it over with a joke.

He'd do the same thing if he were to actually fall in love.

If he does, as you put it, find that special someone, I believe he wouldn't even make a move until he's a hundred percent certain that he can control all his urges, can keep himself in check, so that No One Gets Hurt. Dazai the character may be based on Tsushima, but he's actively trying to avoid living the same life. He’s a that point in his life where he’s looking for atonement, he’s trying to make up for the hurt he caused, not make more. So unless he meets someone who is ok with open relationships, I doubt he’d cheat on them. He's a troll, but he's not heartless. The last thing he wants is another notch on his belt, another life ruined. Especially if it's someone he truly cares about.

PS: I did a profile on Dazai a while back, that is Even Longer and goes deeper into some of his personality.

#osamu dazai #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs #character theory #headcanons #i did a long again #apologies for rambling on #the more you read about the historical stray dogs #the more you realize #that the manga makes humor of some very dark situations #like jeez #historical dazai was super messed up #lethey writes #lethey's mailbox

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geckcellent · 6 years

Text

bnha/bsd crossover??

pls consider

- chuuya mentoring ochako in gravity manipulation; the way they do it is different but things like 'don't freak out and lose your balance and fall flat on your face off the ceiling when you're tipsy, alright, fine, smashed out of your fucking mind and didn't realize what you were doing' (chuuya got a questioning look from ochako and a blank & vaguely threatening stare from aizawa)

- chuuya and aizawa being drinking buddies ft dazai and present mic aka the 'this is why chuuya and aizawa need a fucking drink' duo

- atsushi and deku sparring and deku being like WOAH!! when he discovers atsushi can pretty much match him in pure power up to a certain plus ultra % output although sushi definitely wins in agility; one time deku gets too into their training fight and actually breaks sushi's arm, sushi just shrugs it off like 'hey no worries! just gimme like 5 minutes and it'll fix itself, i'm working on reducing recovery time' deku's just all oH MY GOD THAT IS SO!! COOL

- i better not be the only one who thinks yaomomo and yosano would be pretty tight; BEST GAL PALS, POWER COUPLE or maybe more like yosano the COOL BIG SIS being the strong female mentor yaomomo deserves

- todoroki and akutagawa unexpectedly getting along really well; deku and sushi are surprised and a bit terrified at first but it looks like both formerly antisocial guys are learning from each other despite todoroki's attempts at showing aku how to Normal Human(tm) are not very helpful bc T B H todoroki doesnt score very high in the Normal Human(tm) department either

- adding on to that. aku seeing people being unsettled or disturbed by things todoroki does without realizing and realizes he does those same things too and goes 'oh i see, so it's not just the jinko being weird thats actually a thing thats scary to Normal Human(tm) people' and growing as a person

- fitzgerald and all might having lunch together on one of fitz's ocean liners and scaring the crap out of everyone with how similar they are despite not really appearing similar at all; twain jokingly asking all might if he's a superhero like in the comics and all might enthusiastically and 100% seriously booming 'why yes!', the entire America Squad is just so confused

- q hanging out with (read: tormenting) grape boy bc theyre roughly the same height, grape boy is just thoroughly terrified of q despite the latter thinking theyre genuinely doing things Normal Human(tm) children do to have fun

- idk maybe double black and/or black lizard squad being admired by the younger bnha villains and in a roundabout and definitely not planned (dazais the only one who knows for sure) way helping the kids realize being a 'villain'/going against the 'heroes' doesnt necessarily mean being evil

- extremely fascinated (hyperfixated if were being honest) kajii chasing bakugou around begging him to let him study bakugou's explosions FOR SCIENCE; bakugou being perplexed and at first annoyed by how kajii isnt afraid of his explosions literally at all

- kouyou and the UA headmaster weasel fancily having tea together ft mori crying in the background bc elise thinks the weasel is WAY CUTER than hell ever be

- this one started as a joke but the more i think abt it the more i like it but please consider kunikida unironically being awed by the wild wild pussycats and eventually getting informally adopted into their fam

- probably tsuyu becoming best friends with lucy maud montgomery and naomi bc they think she's adorable and non threatening; they both kind of remind tsuyu of her snake friend

- tanizaki realizing hes Too Gay to be single while theres now like 2x the gay flirting happening around him

- also realizing that growing up doesnt have to mean growing apart; he and naomi are always gonna be super close siblings who love each other but that they are also their own persons

- he has a mature talk with naomi about respecting his boundaries but also reassures her he doesnt wanna become more distant from her bc thats not the point, the point is being different people from each other doesnt invalidate their closeness

- kenji unintentionally pissing bakugou off by not being fazed by his explosions in the slightest and just being how he usually is

- kenji, kirishima and kaminari almost immediately form the three musketeers

- tokoyami and aku ft Same Hat meme; theyre both like 'uh yeah ok?? ??? ?' but literally everyone else just looks at them and goes SAME HAT MY GUYS......

- ranpo, poe and uhh 3:42am ramblings are NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN during finals week B YE

feel free to add!!

#bnha #bsd #crossover #au #memes?? memes #probably crack #rambling

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chuuyazai · 7 years

Note

dazai osamu and chuuya nakahara

Dazai

1: sexuality headcanon

Straight but adventurous if he finds a guy attractive enough

2: otp

Dazisa;)

Also soukoku;)

3: brotp

Atsushi and Dazai

4: notp

Kunikida x Dazai

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

He wakes up hella early every morning to change his bandages on because he sleeps in them but hates how gross they feel when he wakes up.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

I joke about suicide all the time ngl (it’s a coping mechanism that helped me get over the impact that my actual suicide attempt left on me lmao)

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Stop. Asking. Every. Hot. Chick. If. They. Want. To. Do. A. Double. Suicide. With. You. 8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Problematic fave

Chuuya

1: sexuality headcanon

Bisexual

2: otp

Soukoku;)

3: brotp

Chuuya x Kouyou

4: notp

I fucking saw a Mori x Chuuya thing and I’m like ?? Please no

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

When he first discovered his ability, he would wake up randomly with everything in his room floating in the air. That also still happens when he falls asleep drunk.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

I’m small and angry (even though I’m 5'8" but I feel small next to a lot of people in my life lol)

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Nada. Chuuya is perfect in my eyes (jk probably when he did that whole “pretend your a chick” thing my face went rED)

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Problematic fave (let’s face it, only Atsushi is a cinnamon roll in this damn show lol)

Thanks love!

~Character Headcanons~

#thanks love!#eien-misui-ni-goodbye #sara's thoughts #answered #character headcanons #send in more!

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leio13 · 7 years

Text

That Bandage Freak is Actually...

A Soukoku Fic

Summary: Chuuya, a young librarian, is searching for love, but he couldn’t possibly find it in that bandage-wasting disaster who’s tearing up his library. Could he?

My contribution for Soukoku Week Day 1 (sartorialism)

Relationship: Soukoku (Dazai/Chuuya)

Betaread by the amazing Whisp ( @waveswordswhispers) and Mina ( @fraink5-writes)!

Read it on Ao3 here!

After a particularly annoying bout of traffic, Chuuya strolled into the library five minutes after opening time, ready to work. The first thing he noticed is a strange man switching books on one of the shelves… improperly. The guy was fucking up the library’s orderly system. “Uh… boss?” Chuuya approached the counter where his boss, a young woman wearing an extravagant kimono, worked. “That guy over there is messing up the library.”

Kouyou glanced over Chuuya’s shoulder at the bandage-wrapped stranger. “Oh.” She frowned slightly. “That’s our new part-time employee, Dazai. He doesn’t have much experience, does he?” she sighed as if she didn’t want him there, even though she was the one who had hired him. The characters one hired when in desperate need of workers could be nightmares, angels, or anywhere in between. This one, dressed like a mummy, was most definitely going to be a nightmare. “Why don’t you lend him a hand, Chuuya?”

“Yes, boss,” Chuuya agreed. In his head, he sighed reluctantly. He wasn’t ready for whatever hell experience the new guy had waiting for him. Still, he trudged over to the sloppy brunette, trying to keep the frown off his face. “Let me help you out a bit. You’re new, right?”

Dazai, as Kouyou called him, laughed quietly, a hint of blush lit up his face–well, the part of his face that wasn’t smothered in bandages. The bandages engulfed a large part of his face, covering his left eye entirely. Kouyou must have been really desperate when he hired this freak. “This is my first day…”

“First job too?” Chuuya joked internally. As the (clearly) better person, he couldn’t say that out loud. “Do you know how books are organized in a library, Dazai?”

Dazai blinked upon hearing his name before glancing at Kouyou who wore one of the fakest smiles Chuuya had seen in his entire career as a librarian. “Nope!”

“Alright. Let me explain.”

And so, Chuuya ended up explaining the entire library system while Dazai simply nodded. Chuuya couldn’t help but wonder if Dazai actually understood all of it. “Well, I’ve got my own work to take care of. Let me know if you need anymore help.”

“Okay! Will do, uh…”

“Chuuya.”

“Chuuya-kun!”

“Just Chuuya is fine.” Chuuya was done with this bandaged freak already.

…

Surprisingly, Dazai did not pester Chuuya that day (or any other day) with additional questions. Even more surprisingly, it seemed as if he understood Chuuya’s lecture quite clearly. The organization of the shelves he worked on was almost impressive. Not a single book out of line. When Chuuya didn’t have to see those ridiculous bandages, he could almost regard Dazai as a valuable member of the library’s workforce.

In fact, the current hour, his lunch break, was one of those times. Chuuya settled down into his usual booth at the local cafe and pulled his laptop out from his bag. He bit into his sandwich once before the moment was ruined.

“Eating alone, Chuuya?” Dazai was peering over his shoulder at the empty seat on the other side of the table. “Mind if I join you?”

“I’m alright.” After the words left his mouth, Chuuya realized they came off rudely. “I’m not lonely if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“That’s good,” Dazai frowned slightly, “but I’m a bit lonely myself, so if not for you, may we sit together for me?”

Chuuya wanted to say no, but he couldn’t unless he wanted to be an asshole. He didn’t really want to appear that way. Besides, it was his policy not to judge people by appearances (even if he had betrayed that policy multiple times over the past week since Dazai joined). Dazai was a bit sketchy appearance-wise, but Chuuya decided to live by his beliefs this time. “Go ahead. I might not be great company though.”

“Ah, thank you!” Instead of sitting down across from Chuuya though, Dazai continued looking over his shoulder. “A dating website? Are you looking for a date?”

“Yeah.” Chuuya glared at the the redhead on the screen. He didn’t actually have an issue with “Tachihara,” but he needed to release his anger somewhere.

“Hmm… No offense, but he’s not really that attractive…”

“Did I ask for your opinion?” Chuuya hissed in his head.

“I’m not a huge fan of the bandage on the nose.” Dazai finally sat down when Chuuya slammed his laptop closed. “It’s tasteless in my opinion.”

“In what way?” Chuuya was almost eager to hear what Dazai had to say back. The idiot was covered from head to toe in bandages, yet he had the audacity to criticize one small bandage on the nose. What kind of excuse would he offer?

“It looks like he got into a fight and lost. Pretty pathetic, don’t you think?”

Chuuya almost choked on a laugh. Was this guy for real? “If he looks like he lost a fight, you look like you lost to an elephant.” He noticed a small frown surface on Dazai’s face briefly, and while Chuuya didn’t care too much, he had to be nice. “Besides, I try not to judge people by their appearances.”

“That’s admirable!” Dazai smiled, sipping his drink slowly. He didn’t say anything after that.

…

“Um… Chuuya?” Dazai peeked out from behind the bookshelf Chuuya was organizing.

“Yeah?” Chuuya really didn’t want to talk to Dazai, but he wasn’t going shoo him away.

Dazai finally fully appeared from behind the shelf. “I’m really sorry for butting in the other day.” He bowed slightly.

Chuuya was frankly surprised. “No, uh, it’s alright. Don’t worry about it.” Now that the issue was resolved, he and Dazai could return to their usual awkward relationship, which in fact wasn’t very different at all–the only real difference being that Chuuya was no longer angry. Anyway, Dazai could leave Chuuya alone now that the conflict had ended.

Chuuya reached up to pull a book from the top shelf but couldn’t grab it, a sad reminder that he had stopped growing about 7 years ago at the age of 15. Thankfully, having a year of experience, Chuuya had a technique up his sleeve. He glanced towards Kouyou’s desk. She was on the phone with a customer and looking in the opposite direction just as Chuuya had hoped. Keeping his eyes on the boss, he lifted his leg and stepped onto the lowest shelf. Then, he grabbed a higher shelf with his two hands and began to simultaneously pull and push himself up. He was so close now. So clos–

The book was gone? It was just there a minute ago. Did someone take it while he was watching Kouyou? Chuuya turned his head around stiffly, the faintest idea of who it could be creeping unwantedly into his thoughts.

“Here!” Sure enough, Dazai was standing behind him offering him the very book he had been trying to get. “It looked like you needed help, so I took it down for you!” He smiled innocently.

Chuuya jumped off the bookshelf and snatched the book from Dazai’s hand. “I did not need help!”

“You didn’t?” Dazai blinked. “But you were climbing the bookshelf…”

“That’s how I reach high books.” Chuuya grumbled. His secret technique sounded pretty stupid when Dazai phrased it like that.

“Why don’t you just ask someone taller?”

“I can get them myself. That’s why.” Chuuya knew Dazai wasn’t trying to belittle him with that suggestion, but he hated being reminder that he was short. It was a sensitive topic for him. He wasn’t tall or slim like models and Dazai were; he was short and muscular. The muscles were nice–he liked those–but being short just made him the butt of the same unfunny jokes over and over again.

“But you could also get hurt.”

“I know what I’m doing. I’ve done this before. I won’t fall, okay?” Chuuya, hoping to end the painful conversation in which he was stuck, started moving towards the desk.

“If you insist…” Dazai sighed, following Chuuya. “But I’d prefer if you just asked me instead.”

“We’ll see…” Chuuya relented. They wouldn’t see. He didn’t need Dazai’s help. “Oh, and thanks, I guess…” Even if he felt unnecessarily belittled, Dazai did help him which was pretty nice. Dazai wasn’t such a terrible guy after all.

“My pleasure!”

…

Chuuya couldn’t help but notice that Dazai was sitting by himself in a small booth tucked in the corner of Chuuya’s favorite cafe. He tried to ignore it–he really did–but he couldn’t. He stood up with a sigh and approached the lonely brunette. “Eating alone, Dazai?”

“Eh?” Dazai looked up from his untouched plate of food. “I guess so.” He scratched the back of his neck, letting out a weak laugh.

“You can join me if you’d like.” Chuuya hoped he wasn’t making a mistake.

“Are you sure?” The smile on Dazai’s face betrayed the hesitation in his voice.

“Yeah, you don’t need to sit alone.” Chuuya returned to his favorite spot, and Dazai skipped behind him. It wasn’t going to just be his spot anymore. It would now belong to him and Dazai, a weird thought.

“You know, Chuuya, I realized that I don’t know a lot about you. You’ve always seemed a bit distant with me. Frankly, I’m surprised you invited me to join you. Of course, I’m extremely grateful for that!” He bowed his head in apology. “Please don’t shoo me away.”

Chuuya though would have much rathered that he himself disappeared. Dazai had noticed the way Chuuya had initially been avoiding him which made Chuuya feel ashamed of himself. He considered apologizing, but he honestly just didn’t want to talk about it. “Well, there isn’t much to know really. What did you want to know?”

“Anything!” Dazai grinned eagerly.

“Alright…” Chuuya told Dazai about how he grew up in an orphanage although he spent most of his childhood in the local library. He continued with his two college majors in French and literature and how he liked to translate French texts into Japanese during his free time, and that might have led to a mainly one-sided conversation about classic French authors. “What about you, Dazai?” he asked eventually though only five minutes of their lunch break remained.

“I haven’t done anything nearly as impressive,” Dazai sighed, “I didn’t even go to college.”

“Really?” Chuuya had to remind himself of his initial impressions of Dazai in order to fully accept those words. “What about employment? You had to have another job before this one, right?”

“I did. Well, I still do, actually.” Dazai checked his watch. “We can save that for another day. We need to return to the library now.”

“Oh. Okay.” Chuuya frowned slightly. He really wanted to know what it was. Who was Dazai outside the library?

…

The next time Chuuya needed to grab a book off the top shelf, Dazai wasn’t even there. According to Kouyou, he had some business to take care of in the morning. Either way, he wouldn’t be there to get the book for Chuuya. Oh well, Chuuya still had his handy dandy trick.

He placed his shoe on the lowest shelf, grabbed the sides of the bookshelf, and using his boot to push up, he pulled himself onto the first shelf completely. He reached for the book, but it was still too far away. Kids were giggling somewhere nearby, and even though he didn’t want to be seen doing this, he refused to stop. He had already started climbing. They couldn’t possibly judge him anymore. He pulled himself onto the second shelf. Letting go of one of the sides, he stretched his arm to touch the book. He could feel it’s rough casing, but he wasn’t high enough to get a good grasp.

The door behind him rang out a small bell noise as it usually did when someone entered or exited the library. Chuuya prayed that it wasn’t Kouyou returning from her lunch break. He didn’t want to know what sort of face she would make although he had a good idea in his imagination.

Something crashed into the back of the bookshelf, and a girl shouted out “No rough housing, Yumeno!”

But it was too late for that. Chuuya was already falling. “Shi–”

But he didn’t hit the floor, landing softly instead against someone’s chest. Two bandaged arms were wrapped around his waist. “Are you alright?”

“Dazai?” Chuuya peered up to see the brunette staring down at him. “I-I’m fine.”

“This is why I said you should ask me…” Dazai sighed, lowering Chuuya’s feet to the floor.

“You weren’t here when I checked!” Chuuya’s face burned. He had fallen from the bookshelf, and Dazai saw it and caught him. In his arms. Chuuya wasn’t sure whether the fall or the catch lit up his cheeks more.

“Sorry, I had something to do. Anyway, I’m glad you’re okay, Chuuya. You scared me for a second.”

“You were sca…?” Chuuya shook his head. “Sorry. I’ll try not to scale anymore bookshelves in the future…”

“Try not to what?” A woman’s voice replied. Kouyou was standing right next to them.

“Nothing.” Chuuya quickly answered. Hopefully, she’d drop it at that.

…

“Not to bother you, Chuuya, but” Dazai suddenly spoke up, “I need to put some books on the shelf you’re sitting in front.”

Chuuya jolted up and turned to face the brunette, closing the magazine he had been reading. He used his thumb as a bookmark for the page he was on. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright! Everyone gets distracted occasionally!” Dazai laughed, probably trying to reassure himself that it was alright. Chuuya had found Dazai with his nose in a book several times since he had joined about a month ago. “What are you reading anyway?”

“Just some article about that model, Shuuji.” Chuuya flipped open to the pages his thumb was marking. One of the pages was simply a picture of Shuuji. He wasn’t smiling–he never typically was. That was supposedly attractive. It didn’t really bewitch Chuuya personally, but he understood the appeal. In fact, minus the never-smiling thing, Shuuji was undoubtedly attractive: thin and tall with soft brown hair and caramel eyes that Chuuya imagined would have been warm if Shuuji actually smiled in the camera. Unfortunately, he didn’t, and his eyes simply looked dead.

“Hmm…” Dazai leaned closer for a better look. “He’s not really my type.”

“What is your type exactly?” Chuuya couldn’t even guess.

“I think I prefer curly red hair. Blues eyes and a proud yet kind personality are nice too.”

That was Chuuya. Dazai had just described Chuuya. Chuuya’s face hit record-breaking temperatures. He was blushing furiously. “I… I don’t know what to say… I wasn’t expecting that… at all… holy shit.”

Dazai laughed softly, pink highlighting his cheeks. “Sorry, that was really sudden on my part. You can just forget about it.”

“I…” How was Chuuya supposed to respond? Did he view Dazai that same way?

“Oh yeah,” Dazai interrupted Chuuya’s thoughts. “What happened with Mr. Bandaid Nose?”

“Oh. Michizou, you mean?” Chuuya wasn’t going to object to a new subject until right then when he started speaking. Suddenly, he dreaded the topic significantly. “Well, actually, uh, Michizou and I, uh, we hit it off pretty well, so we’re going to, uh, meet up this weekend.” Of all topics, why did Dazai switch to this one?

“You got a date!” Dazai clapped his hands together. “Congrats!” His eyes looked hollow.

“Yeah, the only problem is that I don’t know what to wear… he invited me to a fancy restaurant, but I don’t have any appropriate suits to wear…” Chuuya probably should have kept that to himself. The sooner they stopped discussing Michizou, the better.

“Well, that’s no good.” Dazai grinned. “I can help if you want.”

“You’d be willing to do that after all this…?”

“Sure! Let’s meet Saturday afternoon at the cafe!”

“Thank you, Dazai. Seriously, thanks.”

“Anytime, Chuuya!”

…

Dazai was already standing outside the cafe when Chuuya arrived even though Chuuya was five minutes early. He waved and without a word gestured for Chuuya to enter the open door.

“Look, Dazai,” Chuuya blurted out as they sat down. “You really don’t have to do this is you don’t want to. I won’t be ups–”

“But I want to!” Dazai interrupted. “You’re an important friend of mine after all!”

“Okay. What’s the plan for today? My date is at 8:30. It’s 12:25 now.” Chuuya watched as a server brought two cups of coffee to the table without being asked, Chuuya’s and Dazai’s favorites respectively.

“I think I know the perfect place for a suit.” Dazai grinned, blowing at the steam from his coffee.

“That’s good. Hopefully, it’s not too expensive…” Chuuya glanced down at his wallet mournfully. He loved the library, but it didn’t pay that well. He couldn’t spend too much money on this suit without it cutting into his living expenses. “Oh yeah. I also want to get something to eat a few hours before the date if you’d like to come. I don’t think my stomach can hold over until 8:30 on it’s own.”

“Sure, I’d love to!” Dazai finally took a sip out of his coffee. “So tell me about Bandai–Michizou.”

“Stop calling him that! I can’t take it seriously!” Chuuya laughed. “He’s nice. We have a lot of interests in common too.”

“That’s great.” Then, after taking another sip, Dazai stood up and pushed his chair in. “Shall we go?”

“Sure!” Chuuya followed after him, taking his coffee to go. They strolled down the streets of Yokohama before stopping at a relatively large shop by the name of Villon. Of course, Chuuya recognized the name instantly. Shuuji was one of the models for the brand. “Uh, Dazai? I would love a suit from Villon, but they are expensive as fuck.”

“You don’t want to take a look?” Dazai frowned.

“I guess a peek couldn’t hurt.” Chuuya knew it was a bad idea, but even so, he followed Dazai through the glass doors. There were endless rows of suits. If Chuuya seriously inspected each one, he’d lose a significant amount of his designated shopping time. He’d just have to skim through them, yet he found himself examining each one, admiring their designs and fabric. Eventually, he stumbled upon one he couldn’t resist.

Dazai caught him staring. “Why don’t you try it on?”

Chuuya probably should have said no, but his heart pulled him to the dressing rooms instead. He eagerly (but carefully) threw it on. Then, he inhaled and turned to face the mirror.

Chuuya almost gasped. It was perfect, especially the way the maroon of the dress shirt complimented his orange hair, the way it fit him snugly without pinching. Chuuya loved the way it looked. He strutted out of the stall to show Dazai. “How do I look?”

Dazai actually did gasp. “You look… breathtaking…” He pulled out his phone. “You look wonderful, Chuuya. Let’s take a picture, so we don’t forget!”

Chuuya posed, Dazai clicked the camera, and then, the suit had to come off. Even worse was what followed: checking the price tag. The cost made Chuuya’s singing heart drop. It was too much, way too much. “I can’t buy this, Dazai…”

Dazai took the suit from Chuuya’s hands and without inspecting the price tag walked over to the cashier. He beckoned Chuuya over. Chuuya reluctantly slumped over.

“That will be 65,000 yen.” The woman behind the counter smiled at Chuuya, waiting for an answer.

Chuuya’s jaw dropped. That was not price on the tag, not even close to it. “…excuse me?”

“Chuuya,” Dazai smiled, “I got you a discount.”

“H-How?”

“Frequent buyers get discounts.”

Dazai was a frequent buyer at Villon? Dazai had enough money to shop frequently at Villon? Chuuya’s jaw dropped further. He never would have guessed by Dazai’s appearance. And such an extreme discount too! Chuuya could actually buy the suit now! The suit was his! He took the suit back into his arms and squeezed it to his chest. He almost wanted to squeal. He almost wanted to hug Dazai. Did he deserve all this? Probably not, but he wasn’t going to waste this opportunity. He quickly handed the cashier a bundle of cash, not even waiting for his change before skipping out the door.

Dazai appeared next to him moments later with Chuuya’s change in hand. “Weren’t you complaining about not having enough money the other day?”

Chuuya ignored Dazai’s remark. He was too absorbed in his own happiness.

“Anyway, it’s about 5:30 now. You should eat something light now if you want to eat.”

“Good idea! I’ll pay for the meal.” Chuuya promised. One meal wouldn’t pay back the amount he owed Dazai for all of this, but it was a start. “Thank you so much, Dazai! I really can’t thank you enough!”

“Don’t worry about it! It was my pleasure!” Dazai blushed. “Let’s go eat now, yeah?”

“Yep!” Chuuya bounded down the street to the little deli he had in mind, Dazai chasing after him.

“I’ve never seen you with so much energy before…” Dazai panted at the doorway.

“Well, I don’t really act like this unless I’m really happy, and I’m really happy right now!!” Chuuya squealed.

“Michizou better make you squeal like this.” Dazai smirked before disappearing to order two sandwiches.

“I hope so…” Chuuya slumped in his chair, the exhaustion from this excursion finally hitting him.

“I hope you like this kind.” Dazai placed a sandwich in front of Chuuya.

“It’s my favorite. How did you know?” Chuuya joked. “Definitely not because I eat it every day.”

Dazai laughed. “Nope, definitely not.”

Chuuya wondered when eating with Dazai became normal. He had learned a lot of things about Dazai: the dumb songs he liked to sing, his life growing up as an orphan, the way he fumbled with his bandages when nervous and how that way was different from when he was embarrassed. It was almost hard to believe that a bit more than a month ago Chuuya had been intentionally avoiding him.

There were also things about Dazai that he didn’t know like his other job, but Chuuya didn’t feel rushed to find them out anymore. They had time. Somehow Chuuya just knew this bond would last for a long time. Until that time had passed, Chuuya could take it easy and relax, slowly learning about Dazai in the process.

They ate as if it was any other meal together: a few jokes, a few petty arguments, a few bits of small talk; no one brought up Michizou. In fact, he was completely out of Chuuya’s mind.

Dazai glanced out the window. “Uh oh.”

Chuuya followed Dazai’s gaze. It was pouring outside. “I didn’t bring an umbrella because I didn’t think it would start raining.”

“Me neither.” Dazai sighed. “It should be fine though if we hurry, and hopefully, it’ll have stopped by tonight.”

Chuuya had forgotten about that night. It had began to feel like any other day, but then Chuuya remember that he had a date later. “I hope so. Let’s go back to our apartments before it gets worse first.” With that, Chuuya and Dazai hurried outside into the soaking rain.

“Chuuya~!” Dazai ran up next to Chuuya who had power walked ahead. “Don’t step in a puddle~!” He sang out while nudging Chuuya with his shoulder towards the nearest one.

Chuuya tripped, narrowly avoiding the death of his shoes. “What the fuck, Dazai?” Chuuya turned to face the brunette only to notice the bastard had already scurried away. He chased after him, slamming his shoulder into Dazai’s side. “You shouldn’t step into a puddle either~!”

Dazai stumbled to the side a few feet, his shoes splashing in a large puddle that went up to his ankles.

Chuuya laughed victoriously. Then, it thundered, and Chuuya’s pleasure vanished. “Shit.” He yanked Dazai out of the puzzle and down the street. Finally, they arrived at his small apartment building into which he hastily ushered Dazai. “You can dry off at my place.”

Dazai hesitantly followed Chuuya to his apartment, noting the dirty sprinkled on the floor and walls of the complex. It wasn’t the nicest place to live, and Chuuya wondered what Dazai, who was apparently rich, thought of it and consequently thought of Chuuya. The combination of autumn night temperatures and wet clothes made it cold too. “I’ll turn on the heater when we get inside.” He unlocked the door to his apartment. “You must be shivering.”

Dazai looked around the small apartment, making Chuuya embarrassed. It was clear that Chuuya lived there the second one entered. The area was clean, French literature lined the walls, and soft French jazz was playing quietly on an antique cassette player. Chuuya waddled in drenched clothes over to the heater and turned it on. Dazai remained standing awkwardly at the entrance.

“You can sit down if you want.” Chuuya sat down on one end of the couch and gestured for Dazai to join him.

Dazai reluctantly joined Chuuya on the couch. “I’d hate to soak your furniture…”

“It’s fine. I’m soaking everything already.” Chuuya suddenly grimaced and yanked his clinging jacket off, throwing it onto the broken chair besides the heater. “Aren’t you’re clothes disgusting like that?”

“A bit, yeah.” Dazai slowly removed his own vest which Chuuya quickly snatched from his hands to add to the wet pile next to the heater.

“Thank you for today, Dazai.” Without thinking, Chuuya leaned forward and kissed Dazai on the lips.

“Chuuya…?”

“Mm?” Chuuya responded, eyes still closed, faces inches apart.

“Did you just…?”

“Oh shit.” Chuuya froze. “Oh shit. Fuck.” He just kissed Dazai. Dazai of all people. And he enjoyed it. Way more than he should have. “Did you, uh, enjoy it?”

Dazai blushed. “Yeah, but…”

“Okay. Good.” Chuuya decided to fuck it all. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from Dazai’s eyes, cupping his face with one hand in the process.

“Chuuya…?” Dazai took Chuuya’s hand, but he was unsure if he should pull it away.

“Hopefully, you’ll enjoy this one too.” Before Dazai could respond, Chuuya moved in for a second kiss, letting their lips linger together this time. Dazai tasted of crab and chocolate, just like Chuuya imagined he would.

They pulled apart, and Dazai gasped for air. “Chuuya…” He whispered.

“Yes?” Chuuya gently pushed Dazai down against the couch, snatching a third kiss.

“Do you love me, Chuuya?”

“I think so… yes.”

With that, Dazai grabbed Chuuya’s tie and pulled him closer. “I’m glad.” He pushed himself up slightly, taking the opportunity to steal a kiss of his own. They stayed like that for awhile with their lips locked together.

Meanwhile, Chuuya’s hands moved on their own, searching Dazai’s chest and undoing buttons. Dazai’s hands tugged at Chuuya’s tie and ripped it away.

Then, Dazai stopped. “Hey, Chuuya?”

“Yeah, Dazai?” Chuuya paused for a minute, his busy fingers halting.

“Is this going where I think it’s going?”

“Yeah, pretty sure.”

“In that case,” Dazai sat up, “I’m going to remove these bandages.”

“Okay.” Chuuya moved out of Dazai’s way and watched the brunette stalk into the bathroom.

Moments later, he returned shyly, bandages and everything gone. Without the bandages, Dazai almost looked like a separate individual. He looked slimmer yet healthier. His soft, wet, brown locks clung to his face almost photogenically. Seeing both eyes, Chuuya noticed a slight glimmer in Dazai’s pupils. As he was now, Dazai almost looked like…

Chuuya’s jaw dropped for a third time that day.

“…Something wrong?” Dazai asked self-consciously.

“Dazai… you’re…”

“I’m…?”

“You’re Shuuji… you’re a model?!”

#My writing #Soukokuweek #Nakahara Chuuya #Dazai Osamu #Bungou Stray Dogs #Chuuya #Dazai #this started as crack #but then I took it seriously #clothing is involved I swear!#I'm not lying!

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