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#TELL ME WITH A STRAIGHT FACE HE WOULDNT LET U THO
ackerpotato · 3 years
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Me: *is very stressed*
Me: thinks bout tying Erwin up
Me @ myself: I...okay let’s...let’s just order some food instead
@anlian-aishang I am mildly concerned about our coping mechanisms
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thesolotomyhan · 3 years
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joining the dea and javier peña falling for you would include
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a/n: first javier request and my soft clown ass did her best to bring this request justice for you corazoncitos,, wow anyways pls love me either way if this is actual garbage
taglist: @fandomnerd16 @visintaes @sheeshgivemeabreak @artemiseamoon @umvirgo @redhairedace
let me know if you want to be tagged!
ok so when i thought about this- my mind went straight to a slow b u r n relationship :))
because all i can think about is him not even realizing the moment where you- the very person hes been trying to avoid since day one- holds his entire heart in your hands
like him coming to the point where he notices hes so deep in love with you the very second he stared at you a little longer than usual,,
 not paying attention to what you said even though he was staring straight at your lips- 
and hes just over here like “fuck me,, this cant be happening-”
i laugh because i know he would start to get all nervous around you,, 
his tie feeling like its choking him when he tries to talk to you, becoming tongue tied,, when he had literally zero problems before talking with you- 
his palms sweating and getting so frustrated with himself,, especially when he looks over at you when you laugh at something steve or horacio said to you-
just wanting you to be laughing at something he said instead-
just the literal exact opposite feelings hes been trying to push away and convince himself he doesnt have has him beyond done with himself at this point because he knows theres no way out of this-
because?? since when the fuck ever did the javier pena start getting nervous around trying to talk to a woman and much less the person that hes supposed to be working with,, thats what pisses him off- 
and i would imagine him having this closed off connection with you since the first step you took in the office
because i have this thought in my head where javier wouldnt have liked the news of you joining the dea in colombia when he first heard about it
bc theres already so much stress going on from trying to catch escobar,,
and hes not about to have to train and catch your rookie ass up to them ya feel?
but woW does he realize he has it all fucking backwards about you when steve introduces you to javi when you get there-
like im not going to lie,, i can feel it in my bones that javier wouldnt really care when both you and steve are standing in front of him
i can just imagine him just glancing up,, looking you over once and just brushing you off,,
just giving you a short hello with like a forced smile and getting up,, grazing past you two-
and steves over here rolling his eyes like “dont listen to him, he can be an asshole,, but youll get used to it-”
i dont know- i get the feeling that you and steve would get along well since the start,, like the two of you becoming best friends:)
because he knows what its like to be in a different country and even more, what its like to be the rookie
so hes just having you always stick with him all the time,, being dea buddies :)) wow
but also having a good relationship with carrillo because i just know he would see something in you-
youre not the one to be a goody-two shoes like steve in the beginning and just by hanging around with you for 5 minutes,, he already loves you and is always with you on missions,,
like you becoming one of the people he trusts the most in the group :)
just- you befriending the whole office to the point everyone would come to you for literally anything-
i laugh imagining javiers amargado ass always being annoyed af by that,, because weve seen this man stress tf over escobar and bernas bs hes always pulling-
and hes just trying to be serious for once and not have this whole case drag on any longer than it has to the point where people dont come to him anymore- 
but listen- i can see you having this attitude with him all the time,, like challenging him everytime you interact with him,,
literally not giving 2 shits if he listens to you,, just getting under his skin and steves over here already on your side no matter what-
i cant-  imagining him giving you an attitude back,, pushing you away and sending you with murphy but
 :(( even tho he wont ever admit it then,, :( he lives for bantering with you because those would come to be the highlights of his day :((
like in those moments he slowly starts to realize unconsciously he doesnt hate you at all,, he just doesnt know how to handle these feelings he has for you because he gives me vibes of him never settling down-
but here he fucking is,, not even noticing that hes constantly looking at you,, sitting up straight when he sees you start to walk over to him :(
or like him muttering to himself,, trying to convince his mind that he doesnt and shouldnt see you in a romantic way-
but he just can’t help stop thinking about you,, the way you smiled at him that morning or that you chose to sit by him during a meeting- 
i dont know- im just emotional at the thought of him being so hopelessly in love with you,, like not even fighting it anymore because he cant
just him slowly coming around to being near you all the time,, and maybe just checking up on you,,
i CRY at thought of him becoming your number one hype man :((
like him yelling at everyone to shut up and listen to you when you have something to say about information-
the both of you smiling to each other,, like him nodding in your direction because he has your back :)) wow i aM SOFT
im fucking sorry but the way he has literal HEART EYES watching you talk in front of everyone,,
not even paying attention to what youre saying just focusing on the way hes never noticed the little details about you- i
this bitch is literally in a haze,, focusing all of his  attention on you,,
like he doesnt even notice when steve looks over at him and back to you,, smile on his face when he realizes what javis thinking about-
i cant- and him elbowing javiers side when you finish talking because hes not even moving from his spot,, still too embobado watching you like
“you fucking like her dont you?”- 
:((HOLD ON?? - I SOB at the thought of steve being the wingman because he just wants the best for both of his friends,,,
 he makes it his fucking mission to get you two together- :((
like im imagining him being the type to give you a note or something from carrillo or messina-
telling you to pass it on to javier even tho he’s literally like 4 feet away from you both lol
like hes just trying to push you two to spend more time together as much as possible-
woW because can you imagine you giving javier these smALL HEART EYES AS YOU WALK UP TO HIM,,
the two of you being stuck to the floor when youre giving him the note,, both of you waiting for the other to make a move first,, 
neither of you being able to get 2 words out to eachother even though you both would banter with each other before but now?? its a difference feel
and all the while steve is over here next to carrillo,, the both of them betting which of you two is going to do something first lmao
god im sorry but im :(( imagining you giving him a small smile and walking away buT javiers not even looking at the note because hes over here standing there,, not moving a single muscle,, just watchinG YOU LEAVE WITH THE BIGGEST HEART EYES WHEN YOURE NOT LOOKING AT HIM ANYMORE- :(((
oh my god, wow can you imagine steve getting connie in on this because hes just so done waiting and watching you both fucking struggle to get 4 words out to eachother- so much p i n n i n g
so like the two of them would definitely do this double date just to get the two of you together outside of work :))
but:) they would skip :)) halfway through the date or just not show up at all :)))
and have you and javier go on :)the date alone :)) so its just the two of you :) WOW
listen i dont make the rules but you and javier definitely walk in the next day together,, holding fucking hands perhaps?? im- i need to go sob
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violetnotez · 4 years
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HC: Being Super Fluffy and Giving Them Lots of Love!
Anonymous: Could I request something for Izuku, Todoroki, Shinso and Bakugo. They're doing their own thing and are super concentrated or something and reader is just so entranced by them and they're so glad to have be able to call them their boyfriend and reader just gently cups their face and gives them and the most love filled, soft kiss cause AGH THEY'RE PRECIOUS TO READER! 😭 You can totally ignore this if you don't wanna 😂😂😂 I just feel so soft rn
Ahhhhh this is adorable anon! Honeslty some days I just wanna give these babies the biggest hugs UGHHHHHH
Also I changed up my layout a little to be more “aesthteic”, so sorry it it looks different! Do you like it? Drop me a comment on this post or inbox about which style you like better (the usualllll vs. this one!)
Buy Me A Ko-fi! | Masterlist
Pairings: Izuku x reader, Shoto x reader, Shinso x reader, Bakugo x reader
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚
I Z U K U 
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You and Izuku are having another study night, your body sitting next to his
Obviouskyyyyyyyy this boy does nothing but study smh
But you had completely given up- your brain had shut down after an hour and now you were just half listening to Midoirya mumble and half just admiring your adoarble boyfriend
You honestly miss seeing him look so domestic- you always see him in his uniform, his hero suit, and occasionally his All Might PJs on the weekends
But it feels like agessss since you’ve seen him in proper clothing
He looks just so cute in his teal sweatshirt, his scars peeking out of his sleeves as he wrote random equations on his paper
And his mannerisms are just so adorable-his tongue is poking out of his lips as he tried to work through a math problem, his eyes squinted in concentration and freckles dusting his cheeks like stars
How did you get so lucky getting someone so sweet and cute as him?
“If two goes into this fraction then possibly the variable will be isolated once I subtract the four-” hes mumbling under his breath, his voice so comforting against your ears
You lean your head against his shoulder, the scent of him just barely noticeable but so intoxicating- 
AND HES SOOOO WARMMMM
“’Zuku?” you asked tiredly, a lovesick smile plastered on your face
The sound of your voice breaks Izuku’s thoughts, his brows softening as he looks down at you
“Yes puppy-oh, are you getting tired? You look pretty sleepy...maybe we should take a break-”
omg why is he so sweetttttt
You just feel so calm, so comforted with Izuku it felt like your chest was just filled to the brim with love for this boy
Without warning, you leaned up to Izuku and kissed him softly on the lips,  your head feeling like it was spinning from butterflies
AHHH HE COMBUSTING TOO THO
Once you pull away, Izuku’s cheeks are as bright as cherries and you cant help but smile, cause seriosuly no matter how many times you kiss him he ALWAYS gets flustered
“You know I love you right?” you tell him, butterflies filling your stomach as he looks down at you withe wide, green eyes
COMBUSTING IZUKU IS DECEASED REPEAT IZUKU.EXE IS NO MORE
“o-of course! I-I-love you too!” he stuttered out, his nerves so intense that his tongue was like lead in his mouth
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
S H O T O
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It was just one of those crappy
CRAPPY NIGHTS
You couldnt sleep, it was too hot, you were uncomfrotable, your ,ind was racing
And once you DID fall you course had a gut wrenching nightmare that left you panting and sweating from fear
WHAT THE HECK BRAIN
So time for some good ol’ Shoto cuddles
And that’s how your now cuddled up into Shoto’s side, his body keeping you nice and cool
This boy was literally the sweetest- even though it was like1 in the morning, he couldnt care less about that and just focused on you
He quickly knew something was wrong when you were waiting in the doorway, his strong arms encasing you in atight hug
“Y/n dear, are you feeling alright? Whats bothering you?”
You just snuggled yourself deeeepppp into that boy cause he felt so comforting, his voice was velvety
also how does he always smell like detergent and expensive ass cologne like yessir thats the scent for meeeee
He quickly ushered you inside his room, his hands gripping your shoulders firmly
Literally all fears from that dream melted away with Shoto- his energy was so unbelievably strong and protective, it felt like nothing bad in the world would ever happen cause Shoto was there, and he wouldnt let anything bad happen to you
Also- seeing him in a plain white tee and black shorts literally could have made you swooned, cause god this boy really looks hot in anything huh?
He didnt judge you in the slightest about the dream, just offering for you to spend the night with him
Your head was cuddled into his firm chest, that intoxicating detergent-cologne-rich boy smell making your insides feel fluffy like cotton as his hands quietly brushed the hairs away from your face
He’s ask you small question, like “Are you comfortable dear?” or “Is that dream still bothering you”, just little things to make you feel more safe and open to talk to him
Shoto never wanted you to feel like you had to hide anything from him, and the effort really showed
You were know getting sleepy but the overwhelming feeling of appreciation and love for Shoto was exploding out of you
At this point you just wanted to show your undying gratitude to your boyfriend for being so unbelievably adorable and sweet
You shifted yourself, propping yourself slightly on his stomach so you could look at his face
damn this boy really got blessed with all the good genes huh?
You ran your fingers lightly against his skin, relishing the slight changes from cool to hot, your hands cupping his cheeks and feeling both sensations course through your body
Once you felt him sigh from content, you took it up a notch, leaving feather light kisses on his sheeks, his brows, his eyes, his scar...any avaliable skin you marked with yours
“Love, may I ask what you’re doing- you should be sleeping right now, its quite late-”
“I wanna show you I love you tho...” you sent the boy a pout, a deep chuckle rumbling through his chest and vibrating throughout your body
“But I already know you love me,” he grinned sheepishly cause god your just so adorable, like a puppy desperate to give their owner attention
“Well-I still want to show you,” you stated, your voice slightly thick from sleep as you continued to kiss the rest of Shoto’s face
All this boy could do was lean into his pillow, his hands finding themselves on your waist cause he knew you were gonna do this until you were tired
He wasnt complaining though- you being cuddly and cute like this literally rocked his world in the best way possible
“You know- your very endearing when your half asleep”
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
S H I N S O 
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Shinso is probably the most hardcore gamer you know
It was late in the night, and this guy was still going at it, now playing a game of Mario Kart on the TV, the screen bright against his features
You had gotten tired of the video games, just deciding to watch your boyfriend play instead of being the one to play
And god were you happy with THAT decision
He just looked so...adorable, his body clad in a tight black tee and baggy gray sweats, once foot straight and one foot bent as he sat on the floor playing
His hair was unruly as ever, sticking out in every direction
HIs eyes were completely enraptured by the task in front of him, scanning the screen 
He was just so cute, lookking so intense yet so sleep deprived 
it was adorable how badly he wanted to beat the player playing against him
And then he went a licked HIS LIPS
IN THE MIDDLE OF PLAYING
Your face erupted in red cause
OMG
HES JUST SO HOT AND PRETTY AND UGHHHHHHH
You waited unpatiently to the last round, the music picking up pace as he sped to the finish line, hes cart victoriously earning 1st place
The dude didnt even cheer, just the most self absorbed smirk plastered on his face in pride
THAT IS WHEN YOU POUNCEDDDDD
You quickly plopped yourself gently into his lap, your thighs cradling his sides
“Aww whats the matter kitten, not giving you enough attention?”
Yours hands fell against the softness of the black shirt and oh thank godddddd its so thin, your digits trailing upward and feeling the slight ridges of his muscles underneath the fabric
“No....its just- its not fair for you to look so cute while playing games and I cant cuddle you....”
“Heh, I look cute?”
This boy really cannot fathom how you find him so endearing, and now you just want to prove it to him
“Mmhmm,” you answer a smile on your lips as you cup his face in your hands
HIs hair is so tickly against the tips of your fingers, his broad chest radiating heat throughout your body
Your start to leave quick kisses on him, starting from his checks and working in towards his mouth, but not quite kissing him square on the lips
The closest you get to kissing him is on the corners of his lips, leaving electric sparks against his skin
The boy is desperate now
You cant just do that to him 
“Aww cmon darling, dont tease me like that” he sends you a cocky grin, his pointer finger gently tilting your chin and pulling you into a deep kiss
SHINSO IS A GOOD KISSER FIGHT ME ON THIS
Once you pull away, your head is just spinning cause goddddd this boy is just a blessing
“Let me play one more round, and then we’ll head off to bed, alright?” he asks, his free hand now cupping your cheek
You sigh in content, your hands wrapping around his waist and snuggling into his chest, a warm, smoky smell like cedarwood drifitng to your senses and lulling  you to relax
“Okay...”
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
B A K U G O
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“Im winning this damn bear for you-”
“Katsuki no you already wasted $15 now lets go-”
“Im WiNiNiNG. ThE DaMn. BEAR- SO SHUT IT AND LET ME CONCENTRATE >:(”
You have been standing here for 10 minutes now, Bakugo determinnneddddd to win this gigantic teddy bear for you from a claw machine at an arcade
You feel so bad about it, but honestly, its turned into a personal grudge from him now
HES DETERMINED TO WIN IT AND MAKE YOU HAPPY
While your watching him you cant help it but find him adorable
Hes wearing a plain black tee and jean jacket, something he NEVER wears but looks so good on him?
This boy could be a model fight me on this
His face is the cutest tho-
You can tell he’s absolutely pissed cause he expected to win the animal way sooner than this, his eyebrows pointed downward and his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip
and then
AND THEN
THIS BOY FINALLYYYYYYY GETS IT
He’s trying his hardest not to start cheering cause he really just did that (after wasting $25 but ya know we’ll overlook that)
Your so happy too and that triumphant look on his face just melts your heart
cause he may be a cocky asshole but hes YOUR cocky asshole
“Ha- see told you I’d win it!”
Whatverrrrrr- you roll your eyes, your hands already snuggling the big bear up to your cheek
ITS SO SO SOFT AND SQUISHY YOU MIGHT CRY FROM THE CUTENESS
Your mind is already thinking of where to put it in your room (names too??) but then you look up at your boyfriend and UGH you could literally melt on the spot
cause he looks SO PROUD and SO SOFT- his hands stuffed into the pocket of his pants as he gives you the smallest, happiest little smirk everrrrr
Your just feeling so grateful for the boy in front of you right now, that you put the teddy bear down and wrap Bakugo into a hug
Bakugo always acts like he doesnt want physical attention, especially in public-
But you know this boy lovessss to be touched, so when he returns the hug and gives your sides a small squeeze your weakkk in the knees
AND HE SMELLS SO GOOD
Always like caramel and something rich like firewood
You give him a quick kiss on the back of his neck
AND HOLY SHIT
HES COMBUSTING
Thank god the arcade is dark cause you would totally see his blush (something he will deny)
You pull away a smile on your face as you tell him thank you,
And
*le sigh
of course he ruins the whole cute moment you two had by saying, “Whatever-your the one who wanted the damn thing even though your too old for that shit-”
Just remind him of the All Might figures he secretly had stashed in his closet and he will combust again
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚
Taggings:
Everything Taglist:
@bunnythepipsqueak​ @pasteldaze​  @ionlyspeakinmyheroacademia​     @notadrian​  @hithoeshi​ @sizzlingbarbarianglitter​ @sunnie-nugget​ @shoutosteakettle​ @we-mentally-unstable​ @sm0kingcrack​
Izuku Taglist:
@pyrofanatic​ @askgiggles​ @ask-giggles1303​ @local-space-quexn​ @ihavenolife842​
Shoto taglist:
@teddybear-jelly​ @mishtimitsuri​
Bakugo Taglist:
@pyrofanatic​ @kai-charm​
Get Tagged to My Taglist Here!
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Note
I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.
this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!
so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?
but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate
and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already
so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl
btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death
anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered
so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining
im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there
and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future
which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell
so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs
so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why
but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much
besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess
AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten
sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context
anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone
but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't
someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't
but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company
and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go
honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"
so.... alec goes
and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?
meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?
and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to
and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her
but also... he misses magnus already
and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind
and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there
and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower
she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind
and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay
driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea
except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves
and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park
anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time
good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves
so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too
which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse
izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus
but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?
they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]
anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it
izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good
*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him
full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!
which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good
which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice
eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)
and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me
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ac3id · 4 years
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pairings: Sub! Kaminari Denki x Dom! FemReader
warnings: characters in this story are 18+, crackfic if you squint, sharing of risqué pictures, phone sex, mutual masturbation, porn with a plot basically  dom yn, sub denki
word count: 2.6k
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we hope you  like it!!! 
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You stretched your arms behind your back. After a long day of paperwork, you were tired. You bent your fingers one by one until they released that satisfying ‘pop’ sound. Relaxing yourself in your chair you reach for your phone. You go through your social media, text a few friends and then your eyes fall onto boyfriend’s contacts.
Kaminari Denki or better know as Chargebolt. The aspiring Pro-Hero who  graduated from U.A and now the 23 year old was on his journey to becoming a memorable hero. But right now, he was on his bed resting. The blonde had been hit by an energy draining quirk which made it impossible to do athletic tasks. He was advised to rest and that’s what he had been doing for the past three days.
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                                                 Dankie
You[23:31]:
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You[23:31]: hOWS my FAV BOI DOINGGG ???????????????
Dankie[23:31]: >:(
Dankie[23:31]: traitor ass biTCH
You[23:32]: DENKI LMFAO I SAID I WAS SORRY SILHAKD
Dankie[23:32]: u didnt come visit me today:'''(
You[23:32]: yeah,sorry about that:(((if u werent so fucking clumsy i wouldnt be stuck doing extra hours of EXTRA paperwork>:(
Dankie[23:32]: gO GET THAT BAG Y/NNIE BBIE
Dankie[23:32]: n e ways
Dankie[23:32]: ei missed juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Dankie[23:32]:
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You[23:32]: didnt kiri visit tho
Dankie[23:33]: he did but :( ur better
You[23:33]: dfjhskjfd ik i am
Dankie[23:33]: playing uno with him isnt that fun cuz that bitch ALWAYS wins , u lose all the time lmfao i leik winning against u
You[23:33]:
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You[23:33]: hows your injury tho bb<3
Dankie[23:33]: idk im gonna go to work like day after tommorrow
Dankie[23:34]: n e ways
Dankie[23:34]: how was your day, beautiful
You[23:34]: terrible, old hag keeps piling me up with work.i dont get paid enough to deal with her shit
You[23:34]: i stg gonna murder her one day.
Dankie[23:34]: awwww my poor ynnie here have a picture of your beautiful boyfriend to light up ur day:)
You[23:35]: its 11 in the night denki
Dankie[23:35]: just let me have this one thing please,
Dankie[23:35]: I HAVE A PICTUER SOMEWHERE IN MY GALLERY WAIT lOOK
Dankie[23:35]: admit it,u ken not resist ur beautiful boyfriend
You were about to text out a sarcastic reply, your fingers hovering over the send key when you noticed Denki had sent a disappearing photo.
Dankie[23:35]: [image8166.jpeg]
You press your thumb over the button to view it in full size,
probably one of his dumbass selfies again
you thought to yourself.
“The fuck!?” you almost scream, eyes blown wide at the sight.
Before you knew it you were confronted by the sight of a dick, his hand wrapped around it resting against his abdomen, spurts of cum decorating the head of his cock and onto his flushed body.
It looked so inviting, so hard and sexy waiting to be played with. It turned you on.
You gulped as you took it all in.
In all honesty the sight made your mouth water, your tongue reaching out to wet you lips as your breathing quickened, your core heating with arousal. Your thoughts running wildly as you inspect the picture, fingers trembling ever so slightly as you work your fingers to quickly take a screenshot of the picture
Dankie[23:35]: u still there yn?
Dankie[23:35]: o shit.yn im so SORRY
Dankie[23:36]:SHIT SHIT IM SO SORRY YN I DIDNT MEAN TO MY FINGER SLIPPED FUCKFUCK IM SO SORRY I UNDERSTAND IF YOUR UNCOMFORTABLE
Oh Fuck!
Sucking his lips into his mouth, fear took over his senses as he realized that you were about to receive his nude out of nowhere.
nonononononono nO! This couldn't be happening. No!'
Denki quickly pressed the power off button at least eight times, hoping that would change something, but he knew very well it wouldn't. His entire face flamed with embarrassment.
He opened the chat again just to check if it actually sent. Maybe he still had the chance to delete it. He was met with disappointment, the air surrounding him growing heavier, your prolonged silence was making him freak out even more DAMMIT DENKI !!
Dankie[23:36]: Y/N please say soemthing please,
The dreaded 'typing' box appeared on the bottom of the screen, he mentally prepared himself for rejection. Maybe if you ask about it, he could just pretend he didn’t know what you were talking about. Fuck, how did he manage to fuck up this bad?Just then, the sound of his notification stirred him from his thoughts, indicating a reply from you. He reached for the phone,
You[23:37]: that’s a pretty dick, denki
You[23:37]: mommy would love to play with it.
OH My God. Denki internally screamed. He did not know what he was expecting. Granted you both had started going out just recently, a slip up like that was bound to set you off. He expected you being  reluctant about the situation and brushing it of.
He thought of what he should reply and stared texting. His fingers smashed against the keyboard as butterflies danced in his stomach. He could feel himself get hard.
Dankie[23:37]: you’re making me horny, mommy
You[23:37]: fuck, you’re such a naughty boy
You[23:37]: tell me how badly you want me.
Dankie[23:38]: please, my dick is so hard for you right now. I can’t think straight.
Denki’s heart beat quickens whilst he wait for you to reply. His hand slips down his sweats as he starts palming his cock through the cotton of his sweats.
You[23:38]: you like it when mommy talks to you like this, don’t you babyboy?
Dankie[23:38]: yes i do. please don’t stop
You[23:38]: you think you can send these pictures and not face consequences?
You[23:38]: is this turning you on?
Dankie[23:38]: yes. goddamn.
It was a moment before he responded and when he did, he sent an image. Upon opening it, your throat dries out. You see the outline of his erection through his boxers you gulp again as your eyes feast on the main focus of the picture. It made your pussy throb. You couldn’t stop staring, not even when another loud 'ping' sounded through the room.
Dankie[23:39]: Oh God, please fuck me.
You[23:39]: are you teasing me?
Dankie[23:39]: ...what if I am?
Dankie[23:39]: y/n i want you so bad. are you alone right now?
You[23:39]: yes i am.
You[23:39]: such a little slut, aren’t you?
Dankie[23:39]: yes, only for you
Dankie[23:40]: God, you're good at this.
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His fingers were pressing the ‘call’ button before he processed his move, thick arousal mixed with frustration clouded his thoughts. His hand palming himself through his boxers and his leg bouncing up and down in anticipation as his phone rang for you.
Your phone lit up with an incoming call.
“Hey, babyboy,” you spoke as soon as he picked up, teasing him. Your voice sultry and low making Denki gulp. The dirty talk was really getting him going.
“Just hearing my voice has gotten you so bothered, huh?” you smirk, feeling your nipples hardening and poking through the fabric of your work shirt
“I'm so lonely and needy right now-”  He shyly admitted, “I need you so bad.” finding himself blush bashfully for you. Flattered and embarrassed at his blunt confession, but still desperate for you. He could hear your breathing on the other side of the phone, it was quick, excited. You heard him take in a deep breath; you could almost see the pink painting his cheeks.
“You’ve been a naughty boy, sending me pictures like that. Tell me when did you take it? Who were you thinking of when you touched yourself?” you rasp into the phone making him gasp.
God, this was like a dream
“It was for you! Everything, You!” He sounded desperate, clinging to release as his member throbbed harder. Biting down on his lower lip, inching to hear your commanding voice over the static.
“Is that so? Well, I am flattered.” Denki smiled to himself hearing the praise. “But, do you seriously think you should be allowed to cum? After all, you touched yourself like a shameless whore. Not to mention, without my permission?”
Denki’s smile fell as he started mumbling apologizes into the phone. He promised he’d never do anything like that ever again. Please, just let him cum.
“You heard me,” You taunted, “Bad boys don’t deserve mommy’s help.” you say, your voice faking disinterest. “Please.”  he begged pathetically. Trying to convince you to help him out.
“Please help me cum.”
“Really?” You scoff, a teasing smirk appearing on your lips. “You seem to be doing just fine on your own.” apologies come rushing over the phone,  “No, no, please! I’ll be good. I’ll be a good boy! I’ll do anything!” he pants, biting the corner of his lip as his hand hovered over his erect shaft. “P-Please, Mommy!’’
You bit back a whine as you clench your thighs together “Okay,” you start, voice as smooth as silk. “Why don’t you reach down and touch yourself for me? Make yourself feel good,”
Denki relishes as hearing your command. He quickly puts the caller on speaker and places it on the stool next to his bed. His fingers pull his sweats down to his thigh, his boxers soon following. His hard cock rest against his stomach, the tip flushed and angry; pre-cum leaking from the slit. His right hand firmly grasp it while his left reaches for his phone.
He moans your name as he pumps his cock using the pre-cum as lube, he hisses and groans lost in utopia until he hears your voice again. “You don’t get to cum until I tell you to.” you smirk at him failing to stifle his whimpers, clenching his eyes shut as he took a deep, steadying breath before he responding. “Okay, Mommy.” he blushes, submitting himself to you.
Taking the base of his length into his hand, putting the phone closer to his mouth so you could hear his heavy breathing as he traced a finger along the vein decorating his shaft, he moans softly feeling sparks of pleasure erupting throughout his body. Moving his thumb to his drenched tip, vigorously rubbing himself the way you had instructed him to — the action making him crazy, Denki didn't even try to hold back the moans erupting from his mouth as he fucked his hand, wishing it was you.
“You sound so good jerking off to Mommy’s voice.”
“Feels good, huh, babyboy?” you ask. He hums nodding his head. “Feels so damn good.” His hand leaves his dick, coming up to his mouth and spitting on it. Using spit as lube as he began to rub himself, hips bucking against his hand; whimpering your name as his back arches up slightly, the pre-cum and spit making it easier to move his hand quicker moaning and hearing you doing the same. He could hear your breathing get heavier,the anticipation of you masturbating too made his even harder if that were possible.
“There’s a good little slut.” you say with a normal, leveled voice while he struggled on the other side of the phone. You listen to him jerk off, pumping his shaft and moaning out your name. Hearing him pump his cock up and down, you pictured his sitting on his bed, flushed face hand stroking his cock cum oozing out of his slit. Maybe you’ll ask him to lick it up later.
“Are you wet, Mommy?” His voice is soft followed by heavy breathing. “So wet. You have no idea.” your raspy voice filled the empty room.
“I want to taste your pussy, Y/N.” he moaned into the phone. You slip your hand down over your clothed cunt, rubbing against your swollen clit. “Is that so, Denki? Wouldn't you like that? Me sitting on your face? You can eat all you want.”
“God, your pussy sounds so good.” Denki moaned as you adjust the phone closer. “Oh fuck, Denki!" you moan as you sunk down onto your fingers. The scent of sweat and lust lingered through his nose, he scrunched his eyes shut and his head pressed back into his pillow. His mouth was gape open, breathing heavily as he moaned loudly into the phone. “Shit. Mommy." he cursed.
“Mommy, I need your pussy.” you hear him beg, “W-wanna feel it a-around me. Milking my cock s-so good, wanna f-fuck you until you scream,” he speaks between choked moans. You wonder how he’s gotten so bold. “I would fuck your tight pussy so good.” you don’t doubt him at all.
Your fingers rub against your velvety walls, your hips bucking into your hand as you rolled your clit swiftly between your nimble fingers. “I’m gonna fuck you so good once i get my hands on you, babyboy.”
Speeding up his pace, imaging your face Denki let out a growl. Imagining you hovering over his pinned body as you whispered the most dirty words into his ear while pleasuring him. “F-fuck, Y/N.” he whispered, dropping his head back against the pillows as his eyes squeezed shut, his back arching wildly. There was no way he was going to last much longer.
The familiar feeling soon washed over you, your pussy pulsing and clenching around nothing with each delicious rub of your fingers against your clit. Your heart beat fast, your body tingling from the sensation it gave you. Your nether regions throbbing in pleasure. You almost fell, your legs quivering going limp
His stomach was clenching and he knew he was going to cum any second now “Please keep talking. Just a little more, please,” he begged breathlessly, continuing his thrusts for just a little while longer to get over the edge and you did just that.
“I- I’m so close mommy. Can I c-cum?” He bits his lower lip, trying to control his breathing. “Since you've been such a good boy. You can cum, baby.” you said breathlessly.
“Thank you so much, Mommy.”
“I want to hear you while you cum, baby. I want you to feel good, I want to feel good with you.” you choke out.
You wait patiently for his response but it doesn't come. After seconds of silence, you pulls your device away from your ear only to be greeted by the dark screen.
“Oh. He hung up?” you murmur out loud, a bit sad but you decide on not to dwell on it as you slip the phone back into your pocket, figuring his battery might have given up on him. After minutes you hear you phone start buzzing.
Dankie[01:20]: Baby NO. I’M SO SORRY MY PHONE DIED
Dankie[01:20]: Y/N PLEASE SOME BACK I DIDN’T MEAN TOOO
Dankie[01:20]: Y/N PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE COME BAC
You[01:21]: im here!
Dankie[01:21]: i m so sorry my phone died
You[01:22]: did you cum?
Denki feels his cheeks heat up again.
Dankie[01:23]:
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A few moments later. A video clip appeared in the chat, you opened it much too quickly.
In the video, Denki had his hand wrapped around his shaft while his other hand was palming over his balls. He pumped himself, “I’m gonna come for you, Mommy.” It appeared he had situated the phone so his entire body was captured by the camera. Your eyes traveled down to his toned body, drinking the sight in. Moan escaped his parted lips, opening his eyes and staring at the camera with playful eyes. His jaw hangs open as he finally releases all he had over his stomach, chanting a string of your name and curses.
“Fuck, I really wish you were here now.” You heard him hiss “Really wish this was your mouth instead of my hand.” he whispered, his agile fingers move swiftly as he collected the white substance and then moving his hand upto his lips. Parting his lips swirling his tongue around his digits, sucking off the creamy substance and moaning louder for you. His eyes darkened with lust and hunger as he swallowed down every last drop, moaning at the taste of his warm cum causing your breath to hitch as much as he let out a series of seductive,soft pants.
“Why don't you come here and ride my cock?”
Your walls tighten around nothing and you immediately got up, your chest heaving as you attempted to catch your breath.
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You[01:43]:im coming over. gonna make sure you end up in the hospital for weeks after i'm done with you kaminari denki.
Dankie[01:44]: osiht (。+・`ω・´ )
Dankie[01:45]:
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icecreamkink · 3 years
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watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.
feelings.
very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful
anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start
in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr
listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?
For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies
i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics
fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service
slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it
wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0
i lov them
through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart
in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back
my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think
no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 
some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART
lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 
being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize
wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 
that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.
 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss
fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-
and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy
i have Learned. caves = gay.
 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)
the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it
early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 
EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 
i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance
 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)
jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"
jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry
lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((
up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all
seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez
that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir
 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE
when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious
all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them
hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)
its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
they are SO insufferable pleeeeease
in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”
in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.
 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss
the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)
ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok
you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 
jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)
i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 
the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic
and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic
i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon
and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 
The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 
wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh
me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”
its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ
everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 
ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 
“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;
the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes
untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo
related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 
and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 
 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 
highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.
lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 
on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn
also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'
when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///
hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss
they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad
when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN
so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted
even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 
wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)
the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid
wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)
LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k
take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood
zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 
cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!
wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn
everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 
showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 
justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁
jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief
my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession
the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 
“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”
"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd
also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice
yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON
they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((
wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer
both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w
;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all
wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience
the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected
on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY
lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;
 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together
also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy
wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation
did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins
jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;
i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 
im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 
when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 
also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point
 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?
wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"
unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 
and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 
jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say
i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-
 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE
a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:
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SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 
literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour
babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 
(not that the pain is over LOL)
lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’
“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 
and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......
and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 
THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  
great now i made myself sad
and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??
JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 
and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it
enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏
 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him
babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  
one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks
wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺
so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh
a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 
her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao
 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 
like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby
and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 
anjo sensato :(
xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...
the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof
song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 
wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 
THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change
should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells
the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is
u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 
BAT WEN NING 
wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 
(they didnt) (yet)
DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.
i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again
also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever
mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy
also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious
i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something
jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he
the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 
in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT
oh my god oh my god
the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead
lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞
also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck
i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...
poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'
ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth
wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 
ME ON THE OTHER HAND"
the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*
"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard
not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho
i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...
re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?
idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling
i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again
jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god
and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night
i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not
jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'
the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl
never trust a dude with a fan.
nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 
when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.
and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy
netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)
the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........
there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 
that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*
51 notes · View notes
elvencantation · 3 years
Text
yin yang master liveblog
feat. @thursdayplaid​
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what
blue
omg the magic is so pretty
also why is it always Chinese dramas will have someone, if they need blood, bite their finger?
also the gold spirit is very cute i like
i love a young countenance but an older soul
i also want them to take off their hats 😂
wait he ain’t dead he’s just sitting there?
or he’s dying i guess
Thursday
This movie is pretty throughout, aesthetic on point 
Sharp teeth?
We simp gold spirit
Too true, amazing combo XD 
He's dying
Please don't let me disturb your liveblogging. It brings be much joy
blue
oh hot demon boy!
love that he’s fighting with a fan
Thursday
Who will win? Uptight fighting bro vs gentle fan uncle
blue
gentle fan uncle is an amazing title
Thursday
@^_^@
blue
i love how he’s just like ‘bet u wouldnt stab a precious instrument’
Thursday
XD I love how playful he is during the whole fight too
blue
it’s adorable
dude rly loves his transportation talismans
WAIT I THOUGHT DEMON BOY HAD TATTOOS NOT CUTS
Thursday
He does. If it ain't broke, don't fix it I guess. And it's a good way to redirect violence without doing harm
Demon boy has had a Rough Time
blue
i wanna give him a hug
i don’t think he’d appreciate that but still 😂
Thursday
He's just sad and misses his girl friend
blue
why his reincarnated shufu look evil tho
Thursday
Who can say~~~
I love how Boya was just repeatedly defeated by Qingming and is like: you won't fight me because you're scared.
blue
what’s a himbo but not nice 😂
hey! they put my boys hat on crooked. rude.
Thursday
Give that boy a straight hat.
He's just such an Angy Boy
blue
he rly is 😂
ah i love the lady master she’s so pretty
Thursday
She's amazing and I love her.
blue
awww boya defended him
Thursday
He's so angry, but this fan man flirts with him
blue
ofc they all spying on each other 😂
Thursday
Saved by your opponent's gay discovery
blue
omg yes
Thursday
Spying required
blue
aw he looks nice with his hair down!
drink tea with him angy boy!
Thursday
He just wants you to chill out before you deviate. Sit and look at his amazing long hair. It'll be good for you
blue
HAHAHA
honey bug!!!! i love her!!!!!!!
Thursday
Also the ability for the fan man's actor to go from calm to worried to angry to calm again
Honey bug is good and important and I love her
blue
thank u for the recommendation yes
i love them
Thursday
The intrinsic eroticism of a man who's having his racist beliefs totally shaken by a hot guy who's hotter and smarter than him while holding a sword to his throat and looking like he wants to cry while saying cool lines.
They are such a great pair
blue
angy boy is angy like how dare fan man make him have feelings
Thursday
How very dare he make a good point about morals and ethics!
Also with that hair drinking tea in the morning
Angy boy with clenched teeth: I'm Not Yearning. I'm Just Like This When I See A Fan.
Angy boy with clenched fists: Complex Feelings? Disgusting.
blue
HAHAH OMG HES JUST HANGING OUT WITH A BUNCH OF LADIES LIKE HELLO YES ANGY BOY COME HAVE TEA WITH US ITS NOT WHAT U THINK
OMG THIS TIME ITS BOYS
ITS LIKE UR TRYING TO GIVE ANGY BOY AN ANEURISM
Thursday
Clenched fist intensifies
blue
I CANNOT
maybe he just wants to hang out with cute people
i get that
Thursday
He's just a friendly guy
blue
if i could summon pretty spirit friends to hang with me i so would
ok so maybe he’s not evil. but i’m still suspicious
NOW ANGY BOY IS HAIR DOWN WITHOUT HAT OMG YES
Thursday
I do get the vibe off him he's not the sort of guy who would put his spirit friends in sexual situations. But also I get the vibe he's a very lonely guy at his core and he enjoys the feeling of physical and emotional closeness.
blue
mood ™
Thursday
Let's be honest, the hat is a bit cute, but that hair though. Respect for the makeup department
blue
HAHAHAH
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Thursday
Angy boy, you're just walking to being teased now. At this point its a hand written invitation with gold leaf.
blue
oh i love this moment with the water
it’s so intense
JUST DO IT ANGY BOY
U KNOW U CARE ABOUT HIM
“you’re too obedient” 😂
Thursday
The priest is in the range of gentle or teasing and hovers there. Seeing an actual intense situation is great
blue
ikr????
ah that is exactly what i love
that situation
Thursday
Me too! It's great when characters hover in a range and then swing over sharply
I really makes both extremes more dynamic
blue
HAVE SOME WINE WITH HIM DO IT
U KNOW U WANNA
Thursday
Go For It Angy Boy! He'll be gentle!
blue
😏
Thursday
XD I mean he will continue to ruffle his feathers, but for fun, not for mean
Also, I really love the depiction of a fox demon that isn't sexed up.
Qingming is a trickster, a tease, a bit of a flirt, and enjoys the pleasures of life, but he isn't the stereotypical half naked sexpot fox demon that seem to pop up everywhere
blue
OH NO HE HAD TO KILL HIS SHUFU???
Thursday
The only person he had in the world but he didn't want him to suffer and be corrupted
blue
also I hate that my two associations with someone being turned into ash is firstly the avengers and secondly that stupid fucking scene in the last harry potter movie
god this movie is so beautiful and lovely
Thursday
That set is outstandingly gorgeous
Everything is so beautiful. I want to live in this world!
Sometimes I just see a kind and lonely character trying to live their best life and just vibe with them. Also the wigs on this movie 😭 So beautiful!
blue
DONT HURT MY GIRL
Thursday
Run girl! Move!
She's so smart and brave!
blue
oh the DRAMA
Thursday
The Drama is right, I love this movie!
blue
HE WILL SAVE U BOYA
Thursday
HE'S COMING FOR YOU FRIEND
blue
omg the drama of his hand slackening
Thursday
That slackening hand though...
blue
why it didn’t work until then tho???
Thursday
For the drama mostly XD
blue
HUGGGG
is she giving birth to the serpent? 🤢
Thursday
She is giving birth to the serpent
blue
hey it’s better to be possessed by the literal incarnation of evil in snake form than be dead am I right?
Thursday
I mean is we're making a choice...
blue
OMG IS IT FINALLY SPIRIT TIME?
thursday
It is ~spirit time~!
blue
HOT DEMON BOY IS BACK UPGRADED
SO PROUD
Thursday
He is back and he is Fancy!
They're looking good they're doing poses
blue
omg the painters face painting is so pretty
Thursday
I love the painter ;-; so noble
blue
the music when he summons spirits just makes me think of like pro wrestling intro music for some reason 😂
Thursday 
And now from the WWE, some hot chinese spirits
blue
oh no ice boy!
Thursday
Poor ice boy, he's just getting beat up
blue
don’t u dare touch my other demon boy
Thursday
He just signed up for this adventure and now a snake is beating him up
blue
OMG HE NOW HAS SOMEONE HE WOULD PROTECT WITH HIS LIFE DOESNT HE
Thursday
He Do!
blue
WAIT WHAT NO BOYA
Thursday
Boya is just having a rough time right now, he's a good good boy
blue
and now the painter???
Thursday
I almost cried about the painter and he was only there for like five minutes
blue
PLS DONT HURT MY DEMON BOY
Thursday
Demon Boy goes yeet
blue
oh my god the drama of the dripping blood i can’t
Thursday
This movie has so much drama It did
blue
not my demon boy 😭
FINALLY IT WORKED
wait shit spirit boya is super hot
THE BLACK WINGS?!????
the tattoos??? the hair?!?!!! the messy goth skirt??!
Thursday
Spirit Boya is Choice, I'm looking respectfully 👀
Goth spirit aesthetic is on point
blue
where the other guardians tho?
yes this is a very touching little last reunion but where my boya at
omg yes give him a glowing sword
the avenging angel look is 💯 on him
Thursday
The sword on fire look is Really Working For Him
blue
tell me boya’s spirit form has no influence on his actual body. no he said he trusted qingming to protect his body it’s ok
OMG YES I KNEW THE PROTECTION SPELL MOMENT WOULD BE BACK
Thursday
It's back and it's shiny!
blue
ok but u still have a hole in ur torso my dude
oh ok apparently that’s not a thing anymore but i can’t be mad cause boya’s outfit 😍
Thursday
I guess he used his cultivation or his demon powers or something IDK, It would have been nice to have two extra minutes of Boya being worried about him
Boya wears some excellent clothes
blue
love a good romantic flute moment 😭🥰
Thursday
I have to say Boya's like let me play you this song about promising to fall in love in the next life for fun and me time
blue
omg i thought he was gonna kiss the arrow
Thursday
I mean emotionally did he not kiss the arrow?
blue
omg i cant
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Thursday
I know right? How many censors did they have to pay off
blue
WAIT IS MY GIRL OK????
Thursday
I Chose To Believe She's fine and is now living happily on a farm or something
yeah i do love being worried for each other
but i guess they didnt have enouhg time and they already had that moment at the beginning of the movie 😂
Thursday
Two people? Respecting, worrying, and caring about each other? 👍 There's never enough caring for each other!
blue 
exactly
Thursday
Also, this is one of the best examples of be careful how you word your spells that I've ever seen.
The old master was like care and protect her forever and his spirit guardian was just like: 👍👌💯
blue
heheh
yeahhh
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AND U MADE ME EMOTIONAL AGAIN
29 notes · View notes
faerielleart · 4 years
Note
the thought of hange and levi surviving the story, settling down and having their own family breaks my heart in two... we could have had it all. 💔
yep 😭😭
but honestly??? at this point who cares about canon??? certainly not me wtf is canon is that something you eat-
as marie kondo says if it doesnt make you happy throw it the fuck out and guess what thats exactly what im gonna do ladies and gentlemen # surviving off of au, fics and fanarts where my babies are happy ayyyyyyy 🤙🤙🤙
also you know what anon imma mend your broken heart with a fuckton of cute levihan family headcanons so buckle up cause you’re in for a ride
after the war levi and hanji stop dancing around the issue and they finally get a house in the woods and live there together like the married couple they were from the start (but now its official yay)
when they bump uglies they tend to be careful but accidents happen lmao wink wink and thats how hanji found themself expecting yo big surprise
however!! i feel like they wouldnt know *for sure* until the second trimester tbh life as a soldier is stressful and i imagine most soldiers would have sporadic periods as a result of it so the period option is ruled out, also i feel like it wouldnt be realistic for paradis to catch up with the rest of the world so quickly after the war technology-wise, so same thing goes for the medical field with pregnancy tests and whatnot; basically i feel like the only way for hanjo to know would be actually the moment their body starts to change. of course hanjo is fucking TERRIFIED but tells levi right away so they can work the situation out together like they do for everything COMMUNICATION IS KEY MY LOVELIES
anyway the big reveal would go something like this lmao them sitting at the table together eating dinner, levi would say “why tf are u eating so much slow down you’re gonna shit for days if you keep this up” and hanji would say “bro i cant help it im eating for two” and levi doesnt get it hhhhhhh his heart is as full of love as his head is full of air when it comes to these things so he says “yeah i can see that more like eating for an entire army” and hanji has the most bruh look on their face “dude im literally pregnant”
and levi is FROZEN he is so frozen he’s about to whip out a fucking blonde wig and a sparkly blue dress and sing let it go
he’d probably snap out of it rather quickly tho without saying anything he just hugs hanji really tight as they start to cry bc holy shit they’re gonna be parents how are they going to survive this how are they going to handle taking care of another human when all they’ve known in their lives is pain and loss bc thats the survey corps for ya so yeah hanji is really freaking emotional poor bby
i feel like they’d be really, really happy after fully processing it, levi just strikes me as someone who’d want a family (see him looking at the woman and child in the uprising arc and being reminded of his mom) and hanji is like really good at taking care of others tbh they just never allowed themselves to even think about it because of their duty but now that it’s over and they’re finally together and happy, why not?
skipping through the pregnancy and birth shit because the topic kinda freaks me out a bit oops sorry 😔 all im gonna say is that they’re in for a cute surprise just think about it levi’s an abnormal hanji is an abnormal they are de facto abnormals so why not give them an “abnormal” (as in: uncommon, rare) pregnancy thingy and have hanji carry fucking TRIPLETS yes im definitely going there yall they wanted a baby?? COOL, THEY’RE GETTING 3
levi has a heart attack lmaooo but everything goes smoothly and now they’re the happy happy happy parents of 3 little girls who look so much like him but have hanji’s nose and eye shape and pretty eyelashes and MF 👏 IS 👏 WHIPPED 👏 just imagine levi waking up in the morning and seeing hanji playing with their babies and his heart is about to burst (and so is mine ngl) because he never thought he could feel so much love for someone in his life@@:%,%”@“””””...@@.@“% brb gonna cry for a sec
he’d spoil the shit out of them and when they’re a bit older they literally get away with EVERYTHING cause dadvi is physically incapable of resisting their puppy eyes that they got straight from hanji lol ANYWAY they’d be the best parents ever who love their children more than anything in the world and they live happily every after in their little house in the woods, also accidents happen again and they get surprised with baby number 4, a little boy that they name after erwin <33333 you’re welcome bye now i have to wipe away the copious amount of tears i shed while writing this
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daddy-daichis · 3 years
Text
Yesterday the very beautiful and talented @fuwari-s tagged me in this game and since that post is already really long i figured id make a new one lol  (Also thank you for tagging me, it made me so happy)
The Game: Tag your 2D lovers + the other trend I saw yesterday and wanted to do which is Would you actually date them IRL. So ill put that under the cut because it is a lot.
HQ: Atsumu, Daichi, Issei, Bokuto, Hinata, and Kyoutani
BNHA: Bakugou, Denki, and Hawks
JJK: Sukuna and Mei Mei
Others: Kagami from KNB, Levi and Jean from AOT, and Mikoto Suoh from K
So if you want to know if i would date them irl that is below the cut lol
As for tagging... if you want to do it :) @eijirosriot @bokutosnumberonefan @hinosreis @tetsus-kitten @sugawarakoushihoe @mynameisjackattack and anyone else who wants to do one or both of these challenges.
Alright so would i date these men (+ mei mei) in real life. Short answer is yes lmao. Long answer, with some headcanons that may or may not  venture into 18+ category but only slightly. all aged up to be my age which is 26.
Atsumu - PLEASE, YES
we would be so chaotic together but he would also be really loving. As long as he can still prioritize me in a relationship, not over volleyball, just as much, then we will be golden. We would have such a good time and i feel like we would have a lot of fun bickering, which i really enjoy. Play fighting as a form of foreplay, if you will lmao. We’d probs be friends in HS and then get together after he starts playing for MSBY and he is secured in his position (and himself tbh). I just love this cocky bastard. he also gives me switch vibes and as a switch, i love that for me.
Daichi - YES
All i need is to be wrapped in his arms on the daily and i would be happy. Man would know how to take care of me and that is all. Love of my life, too good for this world. Wholesome husband. He would be able to manage my crazy side and chill me out when i get to anxious. I would want to be bratty just to get him to drop his good guy routine sometimes and I feel like he would like that.
Issei - YES
Funeral home employee can get it. Matsukawa Horse cock Issei can whisk me off my feet and straight into bed. we would have a lot of fun picking on oikawa together (out of love of course) but we would balance each other out a lot. His darker humor would go well against my lighter humor. Also I feel like our level of hotness is pretty comparable... like we aren't the prettiest in the friend group but still good (if that makes sense)
Bokuto - YES
Big ball of sunshine to light up my day, he would literally fuck the sad out of me every day I just know it. Like atsumu, as long as I am a priority to him itll work out. We also kind of have the same sad moods so I feel like we could either both just curl up on the couch together and watch a movie or bring the other out of a funk easily. I love this giant himbo so much.
Hinata - most likely yes
Pretty much the same reasons as bokuto but I feel like I would get drained of his energy faster, so he would def have to cuddle me more. For everyone else so far I can imagine being high school sweethearts, but with hinata i think he wouldnt settle down until later, or even start dating so it would probably be a lot of pining and watching him from the side lines for a while, which would be really hard tbh. but the way he would smile at me after a match would make it worth it so...
 Kyoutani - Hard YES
I love a boy with anger issues, what can i say... (cough couch my irl husband with anger issues couch couch) I would love to be his weak spot and the one person he would go to to help him not feel angry anymore. I think that my fun personality would help him to unbox himself a bit. I just want to give him cuddles and a place to feel accepted. id also i KNOW hes a monster in bed... 
Bakugou - FUCKING HARD YES, PLEASE
if he was real the things i would do to and for him... A lot like kyoutani i would want to give him a place where hes accepted, and a place where he is unconditionally loved. I would be able to handle his misguided anger and calm him down and give him space. I headcanon that hes very cuddly in private to just his S/O which is something that i love. I love his lil smirk and would do anything to get him to smirk at me. As long as he is able to set me as a priority it would work out, but that would be what he struggles with so it would be a thing we would have to talk about. But I also feel that once you say something about it he would check in with you because of course he has to be the best bf/husband. I feel like I could talk for hours about him so Ill just wrap it up by saying that I love me a passionate man who would probs be a lil possessive, and I would use that to my advantage. 
Denki - GOD YES
I really do think that denki and I are soulmates. we are both the perfect blend of funny, pervy, while still being soft. I feel like there would be a lot of mutual pining at first but he would end up the golden retriever gamer boy to my alt bisexual and thats just the perfect pairing. We would pull so much shit and then get away with it because thats just us being us. I see us being scolded by bakugou a lot for the stupid shit we would pull. Also late night drives in his shitty tuned car to taco bell while we sing alt rock songs from the 2010s. also the switch vibes are immaculate.
 Hawks - Probably
So it would honestly depend a lot on what version of hawks.. him in the hero commission is a no, because he wouldnt be able to be honest with me about a lot of stuff. Like his name, or when i can see him again, and that would give me too much anxiety. When hes free of them and is actually allowed to be himself I think it could work then. I know that he of course wants to still be the best hero, so he would have the same problems as bakugou with finding a balance, but if he wants to i think he could. He would also have a lot of trauma from his relationship with his parents and the commission so I dont know if he would be able to give his love away as freely as he wants so we could get therapy together. I love that for us. But i would happily wake up next to this beautiful birb man if he would have me.  
Sukuna - A hesitant yes
so.. the anger issues that ive mentioned before.. yes. I would like sukuna. I would be his lil bride and sit on his lap on his throne as long as he didnt kill my loved ones or my cats lmao. I would also be ok with being his and itadoris gf while hes living in itadoris head. being with him is just asking for an unhappy ending tho, whether its a life always on the run, or someones trying to kill me, or someones trying to kill him, or hes trying to kill someone. But yes i would like to be with him but that would mean sacrificing a lot. 
Mei Mei - god yessssss..
Please Mei Mei step on me and make me ur lil house wife. I see us living in a pent house apartment with the most breathtaking view of the Tokyo skyline. I would want for nothing and she could take me where ever she wanted and i would just follow her around with heart eyes.
 Kagami - YES
my basketball husband! i love him and would love to be loved by him. Id follow him wherever. He would take care of me and is just so dreamy.. also i guess the mild anger issues.. but hes really not that bad. He would just be such a good s/o. He would cook us nice dinners, wed have a few cats, and he would carry me around a lot because hes so strong. While were on the topic of strong... his stamina... everyone on this list probably has good if not great stamina... but kagami just hits different..... have you seen him in the zone? have you seen his thighs? his sex zone has got to be incredible. 
 Levi - Yes
I was going to say it depends, but really it doesn't... if were in the aot universe and hes my captain and I fall in love with him u can bet ur ass im gonna try and get with him because i could die at anytime. if its some au where he is here in our universe and somehow we meet... like of course im gonna be in love with him. our height difference isnt too bad, im only like an inch or 2 taller than him. I think we would both have a great time together. I would make him laugh, and he would help me clean, because lord knows I hate cleaning. BUT i hate cleaning because its something that I always have to do alone, and I feel like levi would have us be cleaning together like he makes the scouts do. and hes just so sexy... 
Jean - big yes
This beautiful handsome man... idk what to even say about him. Hes strong, funny, handsome, cocky, but very much full of love. would love to run away from the world with him. I feel like if he was in love with me before *tries not to give away spoilers* the marco incident (?) that after he would become very clingy and attached and im ok with that. There would have to be lots of cuddles and reassurances and i just want to see him happy and not at war, with both real life people and himself... id give him the best kisses and he would become addicted to them. 
Mikoto - No? But maybe...
I feel like we could be.. but if you watched the show then you know.. But i would love to be Homra’s princess TBH. No one would mess with me or they would have to face the wrath of my big fire boyfriend and his whole ass gang. But on the other hand I feel like Mikoto wouldnt allow himself to fall in love, so it would probably be a hush hush topic. everyone knows the boss and I are in an entanglement, but they cant talk about it. Then Anna starts asking questions to Mikoto and he has to come clean to her, which would be so cute. He tells her is a secret but she doesn't care lmao. in conclusion, I would want to, but I dont think he would let me.... Maybe friends with benefits tho....
............................................................................................
ok if you read all this im officially in love with you. Please take my heart. 
This took me like 2 hours to do because I love thinking about it so much. if you have any thoughts about any of this hop into my dms or comment on this because id love to hear them (especially if you think i belong with one more than the others lmao). 
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tigerdrop · 4 years
Note
okay kind of obsessed with the body swap art tho. idk why i just like benrey getting to bully gordon with his own body, his own voice, and i like gordon trying to navigate whatever weird shit benrey’s got going on. gordon not being able to figure out or control whatever organs in benrey’s throat produce sweet voice so it’s just spewing whatever emotions he’s feeling at random (including Horny? uh oh. can’t hide that as easily as a surprise boner can you gordon?)
this ask kicked me into actually thinking about it and your brain is so huge. massive. i lost control
last night i was struggling to articulate thoughts for the body swap thing but this is kickstarting me. i. really love bodyswap stuff........(sighing) i am yet again having to confront the fact that i latched onto an embarrassing number of Things after having first read about them in [REDACTED]. truly hate being alive
so like......potions. you can get into a whole lot of weird stuff with potions. truly loving that darnolds 5-minute existence gives me an excuse to think of the stupidest horny potions scenarios
and why in the fuck wouldnt he have a bodyswap potion just chillin in his lab. why wouldnt benrey crack that bad boy open and take a sip while darnolds bitching at him "dont you touch any of those goddamn potions. im not gonna tell you which ones which so if you die, you die"
gordon claps benrey on the back afterwards like "well, thats a risk im perfectly happy for him to take" but uh oh you fucking buffoon. the touch is what activates it. and shit just starts spinning and schlorping in his mind and he nearly falls over clutching the lab bench next to him and when he cracks his eyes back open, hes........shorter. and everybodys asking if somebodys okay but that somebody isnt him and hes kind of miffed about that
and then gordons head turns and he sees Himself being steadied on his feet by tommy and darnold and hes like.......guys? guys. hello! and the sound of benreys voice coming out of him with that irritated and loud timbre makes everybody turn to face him........b/c that is so insanely weird coming from him
im like way into the idea of benreys, like, Eye Darkness Thing transferring to gordons face when their bodies are swapped, too. its just his malevolent energies manifesting physically no matter what body hes in
Wait god wait. Like. Benrey in Gordon's body and he gets horny for some reason and has to live Gordon's fucking pained life of the suit edging the hell outta him- Bc now Gordon can actually fucking jerk off for the the first time in days. No edging bullshit from the hev suit
benreys newfound appreciation for why gordons such a bitch all the time
RRRRRRRRRRR gordon able to go wild beating his meat that night finally but right before he does he stops because hes looking down at. 8)!
YES EXACTLY....... gordon freeman humbled by the sight of benreys huge meat. except its his meat now 
at first he only feels mildly weird about jacking it when hes not even in his own body right now but hes been edged for days now and hes just thinking "if i can just get this out of the way now, ill be clear-headed for however fucking long im stuck in black mesa. maybe this is why ive been so goddamn stupid lately. yeah"
but then he gets some time and space to himself at long last and unzips and the shock of seeing benreys huge uncut dick instead of his own brings him back to reality like "?oh my god what the fuck am i doing"
embarrassment! guilt! but also hes still fuckin horny and eventually curiosity wins out. whats the harm, right. its not like he has to say anything about it. and gordon freeman is (mostly) heterosexual and hes never been this up close and personal with a foreskin before and hes just......curious. scientifically
maybe hes even.......locked himself inside one of the company restrooms while hes at it. just to make sure hes got privacy. and there is a mirror right there........  he was gonna just bust one out and leave as fast as he can but now hes curious
starts. thumbing the hem of his shirt under benreys vest. starts lifting it up experimentally just to see where all that hair leads. out of curiosity. and seeing the curve of benreys stomach peek out in the mirror makes him hiccup on sweet voice inadvertently 
weirdly enough theres a part of him thats both relieved and disappointed that hes never seen that color before
he never envisioned that seeing benrey like this would be a turn-on but like......with that vest and that helmet on he just looks like some kind of fuckin roundish rectangle shape. but now gordons intimately familiar with how his body feels to move around in......what hes gotta look like underneath all that armor and ill-fitting work clothes......and the hornier he gets the stupider he gets
takes off the helmet.......just to test the waters. if somebody manages to bust in, thats not so weird to explain. and hes surprised by the shock of black hair he finds under there. he doesnt know what he was expecting....but honestly, benrey looks, like, kind of nice like that. more like a person
im slightly obsessed with the idea of benrey just not even registering as a Real Guy, physically, to gordon, one that he could possibly be attracted to, until hes out of his work uniform.......like hes more of an icon of a person than anything up until that point. pure signifier. no substance
like......you know......the equivalent of how benreys HL model registers to 99% of people watching the series. sure, thats not necessarily anything youd register as "hot", most likely, but then u peel that away and its like........Oh
the model is the icon and the representation of the icon is the real
and gordon runs a hand thru benreys hair and tries out one of those shitty little smirks benrey likes to use on him and the effect is.......dizzying. is that him? is that what benrey really looks like to him?? he feels fuckin salacious doing this
he can even.........get his face up close to the mirror and really look at those teeth
run his tongue over them experimentally.......feel their sharp edges.......and, no, theyre not sharp like a knife, but they are definitely pointy. and surprisingly well-kept......hes never seen benrey brush his teeth before but clearly he must. theyre so smooth and slick under his fingertips
and then he flushes and drops his hand b/c hes getting some weird fucking thoughts right now........but looking back up at himself in the mirror and seeing benreys face all wide-eyed and red makes the issue worse
oh, you really like seeing him look like that, dont you. and gordons pissed b/c this isnt even his fucking brain but its still whispering the exact same neurotic, self-defeating shit at him that hes trying very hard to tamp down
and then he starts getting a little crazier. taking off the vest. he can explain that, no problem. its just kind of hot. heavy. he needed a breather! its normal. just in here to splash some water on his face and cool down, nothing wrong with that. but that just makes benreys shirt all the easier to access.......and he tugs the hem of it just a little higher and looks at himself in the mirror and runs a thumb over the curve of his stomach, where the hair is thickest, and he shivers
gordon freeman is deeply normal and would never get off to the sight of a guy with arms the size of his head tentatively dragging the hem of his shirt up, just for gordon to look at him closer
hands shaking from nerves as he decides to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning and he sees more and more hair-dusted skin and muscle and fat and a thin sheen of sweat reveal itself
> i could see gordon trying to tense and flex the muscles a bit just because hes normal
HE IS, AND HE WOULD
he doesnt know when "being horny b/c hes been pent up and edged for days and he just needs to get his rocks off real quick so he can be normal again" turned into "being horny b/c the way benrey looks under his uniform is scary good to him" but if he thinks about that too hard hes gonna have a panic attack
tells himself that its all just because he hasnt been able to get off. thats why hes thinking this shit. hell stop thinking it once he nuts
> hey this is a quick aside but yknwo how he talks to himself in third person sometimes? what if he does and then kinda does a mental double take at how his name sounds coming out of benreys mouth, with his voice. ok thats it goodbye
oh ym god thats making me go insane. doing it by accident and then.........saying it again. on purpose. just to hear benreys voice doing it
getting one knee hitched up onto the sink and leaning forward with his arm braced against the mirror and his forehead leaning on his arm and tugging benreys dick (no, idiot, thats your dick right now, stop thinking about it) and tentatively groaning out his own name and it comes out so hoarse and desperate that it punches him straight in the gut (too bad, hes thinking about it, he cant not think about it, not with the way he looks and sounds right now)
> remember in the series when benrey called him gordon one (1) time and he noticed immediately and was like..i think thats the first time youve called me by my name.
he looks so fucked out and slutty in that mirror that it almost makes him pass out
eyes darting like hes trying to commit every single detail of how he looks right now to memory (b/c he is. he fucking is. he wants to make benrey look like this so fucking bad. just for him. wreck him and get him flushed and sweaty and panting and moaning gordons name and jesus christ, okay, thats where his brains taking him. okay. cool)
hes dizzying himself thinking about it. he knows benreys hot for him by this point, theoretically. assuming his weird come-ons werent just jokes. benrey would probably let him do this to him. benrey would probably want him to touch his dick. gordon thinks about how good it might feel for his own hand to be on benreys dick and he cant get himself solidly into one headspace or another - hes gordon, hes benrey, he wants to touch, he wants to be touched, he wants to feel his own hand on this dick (and god, maybe he could. maybe he could ask. wouldnt that be crazy.)
benrey in gordons suit and gordons body and gordons face leaning over him, b/c fuck, he really is tall compared to benrey, hes figured that one out awful quick. and gordons (his) hand on his (benreys) dick and stroking him and leering down at him with those dark, dark eyes that dont even really look like his eyes, anymore, not with the way theyre shaded over, and hearing his (benreys) (his) voice moaning out his (gordons) (definitely gordons) name and all the little "pleases" and "thank yous" that he cant stop letting out b/c benreys voice was made for it, made to beg and whine and ask so nicely, and his heads spinning as he comes all over the fucking mirror and sink
> i wonder if this could be combine with the ideas that parts of the self or like mind is still a bit left behind if that makes sense, like with benrey also wanting this that part of the reason gordon wants to say those things
"do you want to fuck him or do you want to be him?" well my good bitch, perhaps you can have a little of both. welcome to my personal hell
hes never come so hard in his fucking life and the noise that rips out of him when he does, finally, after days of being jerked around (ha ha) makes his ears burn with shame
now if you really wanna go crazy. imagine that benreys up and walking around this whole time b/c being edged by his stupid broken suit is making it impossible for him to sleep, and he hears........all of this. stops and presses himself flat agains tthe wall to listen
he cant actually get into the bathroom to scare the shit out of gordon/offer to join in/etc, b/c this stupid flesh body of gordons cant even noclip, but he can press his ear to the door and. listen. and he can flush all the way down to his chest when he hears gordon in there, moaning out his own name with benreys voice
so thats what gordon wants him to do, huh. thats what hes thinking about.
poor benrey, tho. he gets to experience just a lick of the endless fucking suffering that gordon goes thru every single day just by being alive, and "the HEV suit trying and failing to suck him off to completion while his dick twitches against the hard metal of the interior every time gordon groans in there" is just one small part of it
anyway . see ya. my final message
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hunbomb · 4 years
Text
roommate! jaemin
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i hope u guys like this one! i do :) 
warning: not proofread LMAO
jaemin: a huge flirt
like we been knew sis okay bUt its not like it defines him ya kno??? like yes he is a flirt but its not like he does it purposely
however that doesn’t stop every single girl from liking him
except for u cause you’re ~not like other girls~
jk you are 
cause who wouldn’t find na jaemin attractive?? tf???
okay but like the dealio between you and jaemin is that you are best friends 
and you have a fat crush on him (u have since the beginning of highschool LOL)
luckily for you, although jaemin is a flirt, he isnt interested in any girls so he doesnt bring any to your dorm
and even if he did, he would tell u because it would be shitty not to 
anyway
so u met in grade nine and yalls friendship popped TF off right away like you joined nomins duo and made it a trio in the span of 4 months and everyone was like???? this mf got that close to them that fast???? mastery
jeno was like ur brother from another mother fr
you and him told eachother everything and sometimes he would tell you things he wouldnt even tell jaemin. like everyone has those people that although theyre close w, there are some things you’d never tell and that goes for jeno and jaemin
jaemin never told jeno he listens to taylor swift
and jeno never told jaemin that he watched all of my little pony friendship is magic on netflix
but since you and jeno shared some personal things w eachother, you obviously told him about your crush on jaemin
and since you had a crush on jaemin, you never got like super super close with him just cause ur feels got in the way 
mainly just you never got as close to jaemin as you did jeno
sure you were bffs, but it wasn’t on such an intimate level
cause everytime jaemin would look your way you’d be gasping for air
so timeskip to senior year
everything is great
your friendship is still strong af and you guys are all planning for post secondary
jaemin and you get into the same uni right.... and jeno gets into the one the town over so your friendship wont take that much damage
but!!! jaemin wants to room with you!!! and ur like!! fucufejdsk!!!
cause like ofc you want to who wouldnt????? but you have such a massisve crush on him you dont want it to get in the way of not only yours but also jaemins university experience
you say yes tho and next thing you know youre unpacking all your stuff
the dorm is kind of small like there isnt a lot of space,,,,, theres two bedrooms but the beds literally take out the whole room HAHHAHA and then there is a chill space with the kitchen connected and u and jaemin have to share a washroom LOL
“jaemin what the FUCK did you eat??? beans??? i bet it was beans this shit smells so bad i-”
“it really do be ya own friends sometimes” -jaemin 2020 :((((((
anyway so like university life is good you and jaemin invite jeno over every weekend for a sleepover and vice versa its so cute GAH
but like,,,, here’s where the drama comes in
one day you are facetiming jeno and youre telling him about how you really like jaemin and blah blah ya know the usual
and youre not really looking at the screen cause youre doing your homework and focusing on that but jeno sees in the back that jaemin has fully entered the room
and you dont notice cause hes silent and your still talking but jeno is trying to get your attention UDHSJIA
and when he does you see in your part of the screen jaemin just,,,, standing there
cue you ending the call with jeno SO FAST and turning around like oH i thought you had classes right now?
“.... they ended early”
“i see” ://////////
you like get up super fast and just walk around him and go into your roomm shutting the door 
poor jaemin is just like “what”
cause to be honest he never really considered this situation ever happening yah he thought you were prettier than most girls and he liked the way you were able to talk to people so easily but he never would have thought you harboured feelings for him
so he kind of just leaves it be cause he knows that you def dont want to talk about it and is willing to wait for you to be the one who brings it up
so time skip to dinner youre both just eating in silence but you dont like it,,,
“what i said was true” you say and jaemin looks up and he knows where this convo is going but he lets you speak
“i didnt ever plan on telling you because i really like our friendship but i guess i wasn’t careful enough”
your heart is beating hella fast but you try to look unbothered and its going pretty good until jaemin asks you something
“how long have you felt this way?”
OKAY like it shouldnt be a big deal to tell him bc you already exposed yourself but for some reason that question just hit you deep cause you realized that youve liked him for so long and he never felt the same ya know
“i dont know,,, since the start of highschool? when we became friends i always thought you were cute and it just turned into a full blown crush”
jaemin just sort of nods in response “oh okay”
so that night your just laying in your bed full of regrets
you know things are about to be super duper awkward between you and jaemin and you wish it didnt have to be like that
so over the next couple of weeks its more awkward than it has ever been before and the sleepovers with jeno seem so divided 
its either jeno and you or jeno and jaemin its never the three of you anymore :((((((
jaemin isn’t ignoring your feelings though, dont worry! hes just trying to sort his out
because your confession kind of opened his eyes
he doesnt want to force himself to like you but he cant help but admit that when he first heard you talking about your feelings a huge warmth spread through his chest and he may or may not have uncovered some feelings
these feelings were always there but he suppressed in grade nine cause he thought you’d never like him and you just wanted to stay friends
so he pushed them down and never thought about it again
but obviously that didnt happen because now youre on his mind 24/7 and he wishes that he could just talk to you but hes kind of nervous
so after taking advice from jeno he tries to talk to you more, like asking how your day went and starting up conversations
youre  kind of like “what u playing at son” but you leave it cause you know jaemin would never do you dirty like that
it stays this way for a while until one night theres a particularly bad thunderstorm and jaemin is scared of thunder
and so when youre just playing on your phone jaemin opens your door slightly and has this scared look on his face
and you know that jaemin is scared of thunder so you open your arms without any words being shared
a huge boom of thunder makes jaemin squeal and jump into your arms
and he gets comfy under the covers as youre holding him, no words shared between you two
he starts to feel much better and this sense of comfort washes over him like,,, youre his home
and as hes falling asleep he softly mutters
“im sorry it took me so long”
and youre just straight confused like what does that mean is he talking about his feelings or just the fact that yall havent had such an close encounter in a while 
the next morning you wake up and jaemins arms and you guys are facing eachother
and hes already awake so when you oepn your eyes you find him already looking at you
“thank you for last night, youre the best” he whispers and youre like all good fam i understand
but then he leans in closer and is like “i should have told you this so long ago, but i am in love with you”
your eyes widen and youre like wh AT the FUCJ your heart is beating at like 420 bpm and ur shooketh
he just smiles and pulls in you in closer and its just a super soft moment and no words have to be said
that night you guys are cuddling on the couch after dinner when jaemin just asks you be his gf
OF COURSE YOU SAY YES! you have been waiting for this moment for god knows how long
jeno is all like damn fina-fucking-ly i’ve been watching this romance play out for like 5 years! 
its super cute
its even better that you guys are roommates because youre already living together so you get to see eachother everyday
jaemins room as become a guest room for sorts as he now shares a bed with you
jenos happy af hes like YESSS I DONT NEED TO SLEEP WITH JAEMIN IN OUR SLEEPOVERS ANYMORE
jaemin: >:(((((( tf is that supposed to mean
you just laugh and youre like im not complaining hahaha and jaemins heart just stutters so bad 
he really does love you and he cant believe it took him so long to accept his feelings
and one night he tells you about how he pushed them down and youre like “exCUSE ME we could have been dating all this time u pussy”
sad jaemin :((((( 
anyway ya its so good its a win-win situation 
you get to room with the love of your life and its just magical there are so many soft moments between you two and just UGH relationship goals
i need me a jaemin
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matoitech · 4 years
Note
kurapika for the ask game. also remi bc it's fun to see you demolish him.
did kurapika for the last ask so YES its time to demolish remi. thank you for this opportunity
Sexuality Headcanon: ok so theres two schools of thought about this to me. 
the first is that hes straight (and cis) and proud of both these things and will readily tell you he is cishet, but he still refers to himself and his gf as a queer couple bc shes a crocodile so he says like Unconventional Relationships like your girlfriend turning into a crocodile are inherently queer but galo and lio are heteronormative because galo is kinda masc and lio is kinda fem (the korrasami handmaiden person or whatever but with actual ppl he knows irl bc i have met ppl like that and they r a trip). this isnt the option i typically go with tho just bc its a pain to keep up its only funny for like 1 joke. also i just do not care. no representation for those people
the second is hes straight and after he says something remotely nice to another man hes the kinda guy who says ‘no homo’ and means it unironically. this is the one that feels more in line w canon to me. he thinks gays stole the rainbow. he tells galo this once like he thinks galo can speak to the gay council and has the power to make sure rainbows are no longer associated with gay people. galo is like wow ok sure remi ill let them know and then he calls lio and they lose their shit about it
anyway remis heterosexual
Gender Headcanon: remis gf turns back into a human post-promare and they have a gender reveal party when she is pregnant with their baby and the cake explodes and catches the city on fire. remi loses his job. hes cis is what im getting at
A ship I have with said character: remi x the pinups of women he has in his locker?? 
A BROTP I have with said character: um idk. brotp is a punch to the face delivered by galo because i think it would be healing for me and also galo. galo most likely wouldnt but like imagine post-canon promare remi is an asshole and galo just decks him
A NOTP I have with said character: varys and not bc i dont want varys to b gay bc varys certainly can and should be gay. it is entirely bc remi just RADIATES cishet vibes and varys deserves better and to be totally honest? i think remi was meant to radiate the vibes. cishet allistic coding at its finest. the token one of the group. besides the foundation chars but they dont rly count since theyre villains and remi is just an asshole
A random headcanon: this is remi
General Opinion over said character: i seriously hate this guy like u know characters u just see and u just automatically dont like them for no reason. thats me with remi, though at this point i definitely have reason to not like him. first time i watched promare in theaters i felt annoyed any time he spoke. i do not like his design i think its boring i looked at him and i was like this is bait for cishet nerdboy assholes who think theyre oppressed bc they like star wars and fandom moms who write essays abt why they hate gay characters who will self ship with him. and then fan content proved that to be true. he is allistic and i hate that hes an ass to galo and instead of picking up on him being like legitimately ableist in the ova ppl r just like haha yeah get him remi like bro you are NOT supposed to be rooting for remi here. remi is An Obstacle. so like how fans reacted to him definitely made my feelings on him spiral even further down the shitter. and i hate that hes in merch w galo like why not lucia and aina he had more interactions w them! varys and ignis even! but why remi!
just in general i dont like him, hes not the type of character i like hes the type of character im automatically annoyed by and at this point i am vicious to the dude. he also has the bonus of being the kinda character you hate but hes not The Villain so u can like, make fun of him easier than like. kray foresight bc even mentioning kray foresight gets everyone like euuugh. but with remi hes just fun to make fun of bc hes so sucks. altho yes i do have legitimate reason to dislike him. studio trigger self insert. god i talked so much my hatred for remi runs deep
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cake-in-a-tin · 4 years
Text
My thoughts rewatching all the Harry Potter movies back to back
forgive typos, and be warned - there's a lot...
the first two have a smaller amount of thoughts for some reason, idk why
 Philosopher’s Stone
teeny harry haha
that snake is so beautiful
no post on sundays bro
hi hagrid
how did the dursleys get off the island tho
aw harry is so teeny and innocent
ollivander’s entrance is so iconic, like i want to enter every room like that
hermione is so great already
and you are…
‘you’ve got dirt on your nose by the way, did you know?’
haha tiny malfoy
TREVOR! + neville
that death glare mcgonagall omg
oof snape really hates harry
it's leviooosa not leviosaaa
troll in the dungeon!!!
hi fluffy
ew norbert is gross to be completely honest
creepy malfoy staring at the window
malfoy being sassy wow
‘nighty night…’ whyyy filch?
oof ron are u ok
bye hermione
voldemort is kinda cute with his big eyes
harry really just killed quirrell jeez man
alas earwax
Chamber of Secrets
ah go away dobby don't be weird
yes the car with fred and george
oof bye uncle vernon haha
ah awkward let go of harry lockhart we hate u
haha ginny is iconic
rons face when the train comes omg
ron can drive? that's impressive…
ooh a voice scaryyy
hey colinnn
eat slugs - yas
let go of his arm lockhart
uh oh colin is petrified
hahaha snape annihilated lockhart wow
gosh moaning myrtle is annoying
tom riddle is such a weirdo hgh
ew spiders
lockhart is hilarious when he has lost his mind wow
yas fawkes
ew he just stuck the sword right through its head didn't he...
powerful sock…
go away lucius ur annoying
Prisoner of Azkaban
ugh aunt marge blow up already
sassy harry tm
tom is iconic
so is crookshanks tbh
the knight bus kinda sucks in the movie tho
yess lupin hi
ugh shut up trelawney
ah the best scene aka harry and draco being sassy towards each other
‘it’s killed meh!’
the other best scene: lupin, boggarts and the record player
love when they are eating sweets and just being good friends
yay marauders map - iconic fred and george
nice snowman also
my dad didn't strut and neither do i - yeah right...
yes leave hermione
trelawney stop being creepy
take that malfoy
harry third wheeling
yas remus save sirius
"old married couple" haha snape knows what's up
die peter lol
haha yes they will chop your leg off ron definitely
ugh harry stop being noble
haha yes mentioning the marauders
ew stop peter
oh no werewolf
sirius is so dramatic haha he cant stop turning into a werewolf my dude
bad idea yes ron i agree
oof fight him sirius
no sirius!
the dementorssss
no harry that's not a real patronus dude
nom eat the little soul nugget nice
ah no they're gonna kiss sirius nooo
scabbers did it ok... shut up ron
dumbledore just smacking ron's broken leg and being mysterious
and enter many time paradoxes
‘this is not normal’ hahahah wow harry
yess save buckbeak dudes
yas beautiful patronus dude
this music tho wow
au revoir sirius
I wonder how many stairs they ran up...
poor ron so confused
that bird just got squished no
don't leave lupin
please tell harry about the marauderss
i love lupin omg
ooh a firebolt thanks godfather
the ending face wow
Goblet of Fire
ooh nagini hello
yay frank you will die soon so enjoy your tea
dr who!
ah voldemort's creepy little hand tm
yes ron is covering his non existent boobs wow
hermione's so mad 4 some reason
yes cedric diggory in a tree
everyone has long hair why
isn't just any manky old boot mate
cedric amos and arthur are show offs
feet off the table!
i luv magik
wow krum is enjoying himself
Why is draco wearing a suit?
lucius is very ominous
think ur in luvvv ron
is there no winky in this? sad
harry is so awkward omg
bye hedwig find sirius even though the ministry cant
oh bonjour beauxbatons
wow so dramatic here come the durmstrang peoples
wow run filch ao athletic
ew the beauxbatons entrance is so weird and compared to the durmstrang one is kind of sexist
ow poor flitwick a fork to the hand that's gotta hurt
moody is so dramatic
dumbledore already shouting nice
why does he have so many bugssss
ah that is a creepy spider
poor neville he has to have cuppa with moody that sucks
yess fred and george back at it again
hermione ruining the vibe
HARRY POTTER DIDJA PUTCHA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH dumbledore asked calmly
what would happen if harry was just like "nope"? would he die that would be interesting
igh rita skeeter go away ur creepy my dude
hate it when ur eyes glisten with ghosts of ur past
yas sirius in a fire
"who are u talking to?" "im vlogging ron" (how it should have gone. harry should have a youtube channel just saying)
poor harry a third wheel yet again between madame maxime and hagrid ew
wow draco in a tree, why? so many people in trees this movie
"nyaaah"
malfoy as a ferret is my favorite character
my father will hear about thissss
omg rita get outttt
fight the dragonnnn
feel like someone should have stopped the dragon after it broke free... idk *shrugs*
it would be so boring if u were watching the tournament because you can't see anything that's happening most of the time, only for the 1st task and a bit if the 3rd task.
knew u wouldnt die harry, lose a leg - or an arm -pack it in all together? nevaaaaa
god just open it harry
ron ur so awkward...
harry spitting out his drink will never not be funny to me
oh yes the gorgeous dress robes
poor ron has it tough, having to dance with mcgonagall and having ro wear those robes...
*babbling bumbling band of baboons*
the twins are hilarious in this haha
aw neville!
snape is really violent can't 2 boys discuss their love lives or lack thereof in peace
ron's jealous of viktor krum haha
love harry just being so confused and saying "spectacular" when cedric speaks to him.
given the fact harry literally told him the task cedric didn't do that much to help.
ugh no myrtle stop
harry going "do i" when neville tells him he seems tense is such a mood
harry's hair when he was swimming haha
just leave them harryy omg too noble
harry holds his breath for a long time after his gills go away - longer than i can
fred and george making fun of harry having 'moral fiber' is exactly what i would do in the situation
mr crouch stop being weird
yes finally singing hoggy warty hogwarts
oh hi mr crouch, taking a nap in the forest are u? cool
i would say do not stick your face in the pensieve but that's just me
Dr Who changed a bit since i last saw him, he's a bit mental now...
snape is so iconic wow
"bubble juice sir?" bahaha sassy harry back at it again
this music is so great
i would freak out if i had to go in that maze it's so creepy and feels like it would be so filled with jumpscares just nope
"a cauldron? What are u guys gonna do - eat me? that's gross!" feels like it should be in the movie
aw baby voldemort is so cute
ugh just chop off another finger or something wormtail jeez so much drama
how is voldemort still alive - the cauldron is on fire??
the movie is also really missing voldemort dancing with the death eaters
u dont have hair my dude stop caressing ur bald head
voldemort has lovely long fingernails
lucius' blonde hair poking out from beneath his hood is so funny 4 some reason.
"i can touch u now" is really not a good sentence
bit awkward to return with a dead body...
its alright harry *shakes his head violently*
uh oh that's not professor moody its barty jr
Order of the Phoenix
halfway done woo
the intro music is still a jam the 5th time
that is big whinging not little whinging
hi big D what a great nickname...
uh oh dementorrrrr
yes mrs figg the most iconic character in the movies
harry looks a lot like frodo baggins
yay the order is rescuing him finally
yes remus and sirius and mrs weasley and everyone
ooh kreacher
jeez hermione attack him
crookshanks attacking the extendable ears is just what my cat would do
cute godfather godson moments yeass
arthur weasley trying to function as a muggle is just so wholesome
ugh not umbridge ew
yes clear those charges
aw padfoot yess
wow that's a lovely coat sirius
voldemort looks great in a suit wow
didn't harry see his parents die? why couldn't he see the thestral before?
yes luna!
oh shut up umbridge oh my goddd
yes ron u tell seamus like a good friend
sassy harry reaching full potential
ugh umbridge sucks wow
so evil torturing harry
yes weasleys wizards wheezes
luna is so pure and perfect
the friendship between her and harry is so amazing
yas tell umbridge, mcgonagall
trelawneys bad but she doesn't deserve to be kicked out by umbridge
oof professor dumbledore just straight up ignored harry
yes harry just say you're rubbish that will make people think your sane
yes hermione break the rules!
oof ginny is jealous of cho liking harryyyy
yay the room of requirement!
dumbledores army is so fabuloussss
nigel is amazing and i love him
wow hermione just knocked out ron haha
harry potter the boy who made cheesy inspirational speeches
wow ginny is so powerful
harry and cho are so awkward eeehhhh
just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon *cringy forced laughter*
occlumency lessonnssss yay what fun
cute christmas scenes wow
ooh the family tree and sirius' backstory yay
harry u aren't becoming like voldemort u are going through pubertyyyy its hormonesssssss
yay hagrid finally
oh no it's bellatrix get ready for crazinesss
poor sirius he keeps getting the blame for everything that's so unfair
is neville tall or is harry short, because there is a huge height difference
aw all the patronuses are so cute
uh oh here comes umbridge...
noo they are captured and dumbledores lying waaa
oof dumbledore is as sassy as harry at some points - "dumbledores got style"
no umbridge is heaf and shes fricking evilllll
grawp yess. hes kind of cutee
ron is jealous of grawp bahaha
sheesh snape chill
yes a bit of maraudrrss aahhhh
thats it? noo
aw fred and george comforting a little boy is too cute!
yes fred and george!!! disrupt those OWLS!!
no harry! he doesn't have sirius nooo
yes hermione fake it till u make it ( or until u get umbridge attacked by grawp )
yay the centaurs are here as well get herrr
'i must not tell lies' the sass omg
jeez how many prophecies are there wow
pranked, harry dude ur kind of rubbish
well done ginny you've made all the prophecies fall
yh id rather watch my friends die than give u the prophecy, don't really like them tbh
yas sirius!
the order yes
you're beautiful sirius
noooooo siriusss 😭😭😭😭
yooo voldemort my dudeee
hope the ministry has a massive roomba
the DA just come in to see harry writhing on the floor and are like 'cool'
nice one fudge finally realised he's back cool, cool
ah yes angsty harry tm
aw poor luna, her shoes are all stolen.
luna is an icon though
we have something voldy doesn't - noses hahahaha
Half Blood Prince
uh oh the dark mark is here
death eaters as well fun
fenrir greyback!!
oh no not this bridge! i went across it and i was scared af
dumbledore appearing out of nowhere is so funny
ew slughorn no
wow i need dumbkwdored tidying spell so badly
slughorn collecting people is kind of creepy tbh
im so glad i dont have as many staircases as the weasleys
oh yes narcissa and bellatrix being shifty
oops snape u probs shouldnt have done that
yess fred and george!!!
weasleys wizard wheezes looks amazinggg
uh not cormac mclaggen
oooh its "draco and mummy"
no fenrir we wanted to look at draco stroking a cabinet
yes arnold!
yes draco malfoy is a "creepy bloke" ronald
why is draco always wearing a suit??
yes draco is going to pigfarts!
ouch why would u stomp on his nose??
yez luna save him
noo dont let snape teach defense against the dark arts!! i miss lupin...
poor harry having to do potions again ugh
dun dun dunnn the half blood prince
poor seamus stuff is still exploding
haha dumbledore ships hermione and harry lol
baby tom riddle is creepyy
tom riddle and slughorn were bffs wow so cute
edgy draco in his loki suit
aw rons the only one listening
ugh cormac mclaggen is so gross nooo
haha ron is so rubbish at quidditch id be just like him
'the binding is fragile' hahaha excuses
harry sleeps with his potions book hheehe wow
wow sneaky draco
rons face when hermione mentions her snogging him haha.
uh oh cursed necklace alert
harry pottrr the boy who just knew
snape is so sarcastic wow icon (not really tho ew)
oh god they're talking about skin aahhh
noo harry stop being awkwarddddd sit downn
ew cormac stop eating profiteroles so suggestively ugh
haa rons outfit
ew lavender stopp
oh yes "felix felicis" makes ron great at quidditch
poor hermione she just loves ron thats all
aw hermione and harrys friendship is so nice
angsty draco standing in a tower
"bUt I aM tHe ChOsEn OnE" god harry so pretentious
luna is the coolest person there is, nice work harry
draco in a suit again looking sad he does that a lot
no draco ur apple!
oh nvm its back dw
ugh cormac sucks.  hermione why??
at least cormac did 1 good thing and vomited on snapes shoes
draco was lurking omgggg thats his vibe now
cant break an unbreakable vow - figured that out for myself thanks (sassy harry)
ew lavender stopppp
ooh noo ginny dont feed him a mince pie awkwarddd
thanks ron
stoppp ginny. harry can tie his own shoelaceee
why do they need to burn the burrow this doesnt happen in the books #not canon
wow everyones sassy including hermione now
also lav is an awful nicknname
aha tom riddle is still creepy
okay thats a lie slughorn u told him about horcruxes
uh oh ron loves romilda vane oop
harry thinks the moon is divine haha
Ron hugging a pillow then falling off the sofa in the background oh my gosh
slughorn is so useless
haha snapes face while rons saying hermiones name
draco being edgy again woowwww
lavender that is a death glare if ever i saw one
oh no draco is crying in a bathroom now like a moody teenager
let him cry in peace harry god man
'nyaaah' is dracos go to dueling sound
oops harry u kinda killed him a little bit.
no this is so awkwarddd ginny dont
just kiss like in the books after the quidditch match thats way better
yes the felix felicis
love harry potter like this its so funny
‘harry!’ ‘sir!’
not to mention the pincers *gestures awkwardly*
nice speech harry, now u have answers on the horcruxes
ooh back to tom riddle being creepy
yas harry and dumbledore field trip quality student teacher time
snape being edgy now wow everyone is in this movie
oops foreshadowing...
harry has precious blood apparently?
yay boat ride and smoothie
harry potter not harry water bro
noo bad just aguamenti right into his mouth Harry
yay new friends!!!
dumbledore ur gonna set harry on  fire careful my dude
ooh death eaterz
did draco change intot hat suit to impress the death eaters?
oop bye dumbledore
harry brooding in dumbledores office
yess RAB get wrecked voldemort
harry ur thick apparently?
aw cute friendship
Deathly Hallows Pt. 1
rusty logo wow
‘ello whoo are u
oh scrimgeour hi i dislike u dude
veey dramatic
aaawww hermione no
yas dudley being nice to harry and vernon listening to him and leaving
ron brooding wow
bye parents sad face
wow vernons old man
ooh its snapeee he looks loke he has a lot of contpur on
yay snape has a savey seat
pius is a great name
uh oh i dont wanna give u my wand voldy
dracos face haha
ugh do they have to watch nagini eat professor burbage gross
the dursleys house looks so empty
yay the cupboard happy memories and his baby toys cuteee
moody thinks that harrys gorgeous.
yay remus and tonksss
shut up mundungus
blimey hermionee
'just trying to diffuse the tension' hahaha lol
wow so many harrys lol
yh  wouldnt want to go in the motorbike tbh
uh oh death eaters
wow parkour harry
nooo hedwig - the saddest bit of this movie
yo voldemort wassup
oops the pylons fell down... just fly away good idea
nooo george's ear
jeez lupin y are u being crazy dude
george is saint like and holy aw so cute brother moments
uh oh bye moody u were a bit creepy tbh
ha lol harry a lot of people are going to die for u
harry stop being moody omg
wow george way to ruin the vibe dude
yo minister leave pls
ron just being ungrateful - u can turn out lights now ron lucky u
yay hermione you get a childrens book thats great
wow a snitch lucky u harry. hes so pleased with that. little does he know.... its a resurrection stone bro
give him the sword man
yay nice wedding
luna interrupting deep thoughts casually
xenophilius is creepy
ron and hermione staring at each other is a mood.
way to crash a wedding dude
hermione is the most competent out of all three it has to be said
i really want that bag of hermiones
shouldnt have said voldemory now the death eaters are here whoops
"hermione" *strokes face awkwardly*
sassy harry yas
oh yes grimmauld place
oof voldys having wand struggles
hi kreacher please leave ur creepy thanks
aw siriuzz room so cute sad hes dead
regulus arcturus black yay
ugh mundungus fletcher u suck dude
aw neville
oh no pie dude is the minister if magic now
uh shut up umbridge
feel like u dont need that many posters
sentimental piano playing wow
yo dobbyyyy
umbridge ruins everything omg
ron - u dont have a wife
haha harry getting out of the lift and walking in such a weird wayyy bahahaha
ew umbridge has moodys eye groosss
yas the ugly plates are still in her office
oops ron u just kissed that random dudez wife
nice suit harry
ouch splinch
lovely tent
kill the locket dude
dean thomas is on the run ooh fancy
yh harry stop letting voldemort in dude
harry stop being so moody bro
ooh watch snape on the map thats not creepy.
oh no snatchers...
ah u almost got caught dudes
ron ur so weak wow cant apparate or anything
lot of missing people...
haha a quarantine haircut
yes hermione ur brilliant
oh god ron stop chill
bye ron i guess lol
poor hermione
yas awkward dancing timee
awkward stares
kissy for the snitch. he must really miss ginny
uh oh its opening at the closee
vfd!!! an eyee!!!
ooh godrics hollowwww
oop its christmas eve whoopssss
oh a deathly Hallows
parents grave yay!
ur bathilda? nope im a snake boiii
bathilda is 1 creepy lady
what are u saying my dude????
ew snake lady
chaira are good defences agaunst snakes definitely
ah she jumped at them
looks like a nice campsite
wow now hermiones being sentimental
oop she sat on harrys wand
wait nvm
oooh a doe a deer a female deer
dont drown harry that would be awkward
omgbharry stop undressing
oof the locket strangling him
yay ron saved him yas dude
ron kill the horcrux
u tell him hermione
nice ron tell them u have been hearing voices
yes go see xenophilius the crazy dudee
aw ron ur so awkwsrd bro
their house is so cute
shut up ron god
yay we know about the deathly hallows now
xenophilius is so suspicious tho
why would you say his nameeee
noo snatchers
ooo ominous malfoy manor
draco dont doo ittt
yay dobby!
ah no hermione
aw draco looks sad in his little loki suit
yay dobby 'maiming and seriously injuring'
nooo dobby! he deserved so much better 😭
"hey guys welcome back to my unboxing video today we are opening dumbledores grave"
yay the elder wand wow
giving away ur position a bit dude by shooting stuff in the air
Deathly Hallows Pt. 2
snape hi ur brooding
lots of dementys
dramatic music
waaa dobby
yay bill and fleur
yo griphook what up
the sword was in a river bro
madam lestrange? no!
oops thats not dracos wand anymore wowww
wands are just like 'ya hiiii we have feelings too'
oop ollivander knows about the elder wand bros
ron looks great with a moustache tho
harry just broke the law jeez...
wow that cart looks fun
wow they fell from the cart nice
oh no ron broke the law too whoops
yay a dragon
lots of gold nice
yay the cup
oops they messed up nkw everything is multiplyinggg
griphook y are u evil my dude
yay ride a dragon
oops they fell no
yas they escaped
uh oh voldemort is onto them
that's a lot of dead people
oh no everyones looking for them
ah aberforth hi!
the other part of harry's mirror!
oop dumbledore was a secretive dude
ariana yas
neville!
i love neville hes so great now
yay all of the DA
luna!
ginny is being awkward
'shut up seamus' hhaha
aaa snape yooo
snape stop being a meanie
stop being angry harry
yas queen! mcgonagall!!!!
yay
uh oh voldemort is whispering to harry again
stop voldemort you need a cough sweet
yes everyone protect him
haha filch is a blithering idiot wow
i love mcgonagall
run harry
boom! seamus blow stuff up!
yay the knight peeps
uh yes theyre protecting harry and everyone
yes luna is so smart and iconic
go talk to a ghost harry
thats a lot of death eaters
go away voldemort no one likes u
yes go stab a crown harry
yay remus
fred and george aw
ron fake parseltonguing lol
nooo quidditch
lol peeps got disintegrated
go hermione stab the cup
yessss kisss!!!!
tonks and remus together wow
wow i hate voldemort's bald head with the weird veins
run neville!
yay ginny and neville
yay a little kiss for harry!
ooh the room of requirement
edgy draco back at it again
ooh the diadem
no dracooo
yh draco y didnt u give harry away?
aw ron loves hermione
uh oh fireee
nice work goyle
bye crabbe lol
yay hes saving draco
nice killed the tiara
oops voldemorts getting angry
snapes gonna dies dudes
runnnnn guys
lavenders being eaten
yay aberforth
yeet snapes dying
gosh naginis violent
“ew snape sorry i dont like u even tho u loved my mum” - what harry should have said
woops bye snape
freds death is too sad
nooo remus and tonks
go watch snapes life my dude
yess the always bit (i dont like snape but its iconic)
poor harry
its so sad that hes just sacrificing himself
his eye contact with ron omg im cryinggg
ooh yay his familyyy
he should have said 'its muffin time’ to the resurrection stone and it would be like 'cool bro here's your dead family'
u got this harry
yay teddy mention
"until the end" yas james
lets do this harry
wow voldemort why are you standing like a weirdo
yes harry be a brave man
byee harryyyy
oooh hes alive still
hi dumbledore
yes harry is a brave brave man
cool explain it to him dumbledore
bye dumbledoreeee
wow voldy u weakk bro
yas dracos alive get off me
aw neville u got this man
voldy yeeted that dead giant wow
ew snakey boi
nooo hes dead waa
poor draco such an awkward hug
oop neville what?
ok ur just making a speech that fine carry on
voldys very polite for a villain
yay harrys alive
haha dieee
run lucius wow
oof destroying the school harry really
naginis coming run hermione
u got dis neville
noo ron
yes molly!!!
y r u hugging dudes u arent friends... did u forget? oops..
ouch
bye snake boiii
neville is so iconic omg
kill him HARRY
noice
haha disintegrate voldemort
byeee
dont breathe in voldemort guys
wow harrys a mess
yay hagrid
hermione and ron are so sweet aw
harry yeet the wand
wow draco owns the wand and now harry has it
YEET
aw the friendship
yess 19 years later
wow that hair harry
all of their haircuts are tragic tbh...
should be albus remus potter... just sayinggg
THE END DUDESSSSS
12 notes · View notes
verannaca · 4 years
Text
f2
Major Frozen 2 Spoilers Below!
You’d never be able to tell by reading this that I’m a whole-ass adult, AND a writer :’)
HERE’S SOME THOUGHT BLURBS
• Vuelie smacked with nostalgia holy sHIT • Pretty snowflakes proves this movie is Frozen • BABY ANNA • "wait, what?" • baby anna with attitude • snuggles • iduna/ERW has an amazing voice?? • "you'll be drowned" foreshadowing?? • Elsa freezes the railing and just awkwardly leaves it?? a queen • ANNNAAA • Anna and Olaf • Olaf being poetic?? • poor sweet anna isnt lonely anymore :') • SOOMMEE THINGS NEVER CHANGE this was catchy as heck • "holding on tight to you" that kristanna twirl SENT ME • "irredeemable monster" "greatest mistake of your life" "WOULDNT EVEN KISS YOU" • AURORA • Kristoff getting prepared to spend a LONG time in that room, if u know what im saying ;;;))) • bedtime snuggles and it's now canon that EA call each other "Darling" • anna representing women who drool n snore, and elsas a FUCKING MOUTH BREATHER • elsa's grumpy face >:(      (she’s so cute what the heck) • INTO THE UNKNOOOWWNNNN ft aurora • uh oh kingdom's in danger again THANKSELSA • KA helping the citizens as a true Queen and King would (sPOILERS) • "youve been hearing this voice and u didnt think to tell me" the offence is beautiful • elsa's pouty hesitation before she tells anna what happened • ELSA'S FACE the entire time KA & Olaf plan to go with her on the adventure, she was NOT having any of it • olaf being annoying for x minutes straight • anna ready to get dicked up on a sleigh ride even tho her sis is sleeping 5 feet away from her lmao MOOD • "crazy? you didnt say i was crazy - you think im c R A Z Y?" HER FACE SENT ME • kristoff bumbling everything RIP • aurora is back • elsa runs in heels through rocky land and somehow doesnt break her ankles, 10/10 (i mean anna did the same but it’s expected of her lmao) • olaf being annoying pt2 (sorry, he’s cute ig) • anna getting mad at the mist • anna walking towards the cliff to view the dam and looking like an autumn goddess • sven is a terrible wingman • "WE WILL DIE" good job kristoff • elsa not caring about anna's worry • olaf had a song here i think?? • WIND • elsa looks good when messy idc idc • "THAT'S MY SISTER" that's an outtake line from Frozen!!!! • surprise statues • anna rips a sword out of ice with her bare hands n no one thinks anything of it • northuldra ppl • honeymaren eyefucking elsa (we see u) • olaf's funniest scene lmao • "one with power, and one powerless" ANNAS FACE OF OFFENCE HAHAHAHA IT'S OKAY BB YOU HAVE THE POWER OF LOVE • "oh, anna" oh mattias, we feel u • fire spirit • ANNA COUGHING • BRUNNIIIIIII • bruni & elsa head tilts • "they're all looking at us, arent they" yes elsa because ur talking to a fucking salamander • anna gets mad cuz elsa gets mad cuz anna ran into fire cuz elsa ran into fire • iduna was northuldra (neat) • vuelie but different??? • kristoff made a friend!! • insecure anna + a mutual lacking communication = :( • a sad failed proposal • A SHIPWRECK¿? • this is v dark for disney holy shi • the horror in elsa's voice "what were they doing in the dark sea?!" • they watch their parent's final moments • the horror in iduna's voice "the waves are too high" • this is a kid's movie, yes? • elsa flees, anna follows • THE GUILT ohmygosh poor elsa :( • anna tries v hard, but i can only imagine her own agony??? she's tryna take care of elsa but who's taking care of anna?? :(((( • elsa becomes manipulative?? JUST EXPLAIN THAT IT'S DANGEROUS AND REQUIRES MAGIC • elsa does the thing • anna and olaf are v angry (same) • anna loses her cloak & shows her beautiful jacket?? thank u anna • DARK SEA • elsa battles the ocean that swallowed her parents • Nokk tries to drown her?? dragging her through the water by her hand was INTENSE • i know she doesnt get cold n thats fine but damn homegirl must REALLY workout at home (the shoulders prove it) but she swam for how long and didn't lose energy??? • SHOW YOURSELF I CRIED • the ice was so beautiful and she looked so free n happy, loose hair n no shoes • the song was amazing holy heck • IDUNA WAS THE SIREN, I CALLED IT, HELLO THANK U • elsa's literally like "ok boomer" at her grandfather who's an ass • she goes too far into ahtohallen • inappropriate but ohmygod the ice detail on her skin when she was freezing was crazy??? her hair got whiter n all that BUT THE SNOWFLAKES ON HER SKIN, that was unbelievable • surprise surprise old white guy in power kills innocent poc • elsa freezes like anna did, cuz anna was frozen and elsa is frozen 2 (heh) • back to the cave with anna and olaf • anna knows what has to be done to set things right because she’s the hero and always has to make the painful sacrifices • anna sets off to do whats right but OLAF • rip olaf • anna sits in the cold ALL FUCKING NIGHT DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT, I AM NOT OKAY • the next right thing B R O K E me. kbell captures such agony so beautifully ohmygod, it was incredible. easily the best song in the franchise. • "SO I'LL WALK THROUGH THIS NIGHT, stumbling blindly towards the light" her voice • anna finds her courage to leave the cave • "when it's clear that everything will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN" CAN YOU HEAR ME SOBBING AT THE ABSOLUTE ANGUISH IN HER VOICE • this woman has lost everything and SHES STILL GOING, YES ANNA, GO • giants!!! • anna mimicking the behaviour she was against for most of the movie • "I'M HERE, WHAT DO YOU NEED?" this is so important • no questions asked, this is what's happening, kristoff is the real mvp • mattias lets anna destroy the dam • anna becomes suicidal?????? girl stop i- • the dam falls • ANNA ALMOST FALLS- • wait mattias has her • and kristoff has her!! • and she looks ready to keep crying now that the adrenalin is gone • ELSA THAWS but does she REALLY do the right thing??? idk i think she should've let the wave destroy whatever was in its path, otherwise whats the point? wouldve had better symbolism • the Northuldra people are free and happy but poor anna is still sad :( idk why people were saying she got over elsas death too quickly when homegirl was never gonna smile again • "i'm sorry i left you behind. i was just so desperate to protect her." • "it's okay. my love is not fragile." • anna tries to continue on, imagine what was going through her head AHHH • wait there she is • e l s a • on a horse • anna slides down the cliffside, elsa slides off that horse in a v godly manner • ANNA REPRESENTS WOMEN WHO UGLY CRY, THANK U ANNA • elsa is lowkey emotionless but honestly do we expect anything else from her by this point? (no shade hahahaha) • "a bridge has two sides, and mother has two daughters" yes thank u for making anna important • so is elsa a ghost now orrrr • WHO CARES, KRISTANNA PROPOSAL • we were v robbed of that kiss tho • anna's squeal of pure joy when asked • sven representing all of us • "do u wanna build a snowman" bitch it's been like 16 years, ur a bit late but OKAY • olaf is back • GROUP HUG • honeymaren wants elsa to stay "because it's where she belongs" ;;;;)))))) • elsa realises anna would be a better queen • QUEEN ANNA • Q U E E N  A N N A • YESSSSSS • we're robbed of the coronation but that's fine ig • kristoff in fancy clothes??? • "i prefer you in leather anyway" so anna is a top, nice to know • olaf's comment on kristoff probably not being able to "last an hour" ;;;))))) not if annas a top LMAO STOP • mattias found his person, congrats • anna is the people's queen • a statue is revealed, baby iduna is v cute • elsa is in the forest with bruni n everyone else • friday is gamenight • elsa rides off into the sunset i guess?? • THE END • oh and olaf has an ending scene • "elsa DEAD" • "olaf DEAD" • "anna cries" • everyone cries
okay thanks for reading lmao bye
152 notes · View notes
wolferals · 4 years
Text
sneeky
Chris Schistad preference
{this is for Lara, the coolest bitch ever that i literally met an hour ago:)🦋}
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-chris and you had been dating for about 2 months now after meeting him at a coffee shop in Oslo
-he went to school at Nissen but you were at Elvebakken so no one of your schoolmates knew about him and neither did his‘
-he had told you basically everything about his best friends William and Eliott (see what i did here😏) but they didnt know you guys were seeing each other
-but since both of you were pretty busy with school you could only see him on weekends and that was pretty hard
-so you decided to surprise him and transfer schools to Nissen without telling him
-you had talked to your parents and they didnt really care where u went to school, they just wanted you to have good grades
-in the morning of your first day at Nissen you got a text from Chris saying „have fun at school today baby.“
-you started smirking, grabbed your bag and walked out of the door to get to the bus stop
-you knew he usually was picked up this William guy so he wouldnt see you on your way
-about 30 minutes later your bus stopped close to the school and you followed the other students to make sure you got there
-you had put on your hood in case he might see you he wouldn’t recognize you right away
-since you didnt see him anywhere you walked inside the building to talk to the principal
-after that he took you to your new classroom where he knocked at first since it was already after 8
-he talked to the english teacher first before i got in
-when you entered the room you felt a pair of big shocked green eyes on you and you stopped yourself from grinning
-„this is y/n, she transferred here from Elvebakken“ the teacher introduced me to the class
-but one person already knew everything about you
-and he kept staring at you
-„you can sit over here, y/n.“
-you walked to your new desk a row in front of Chris so you could see his expression in the corner of your right eye
-internally you were screaming from your own sneekyness and geniosity
-your english teacher continued her class until break when you left the classroom to get to the chem labor
-suddenly you felt a hand grabbing your shoulder and you turned around with a big proud smirk on your face
-„what are you doing??“ he asked straight away
-„what does it look like hun? Im going to my next class at my new school“
-he pulled you behind the lockers and pushed your back against them
-he then bit his lip and whispered:“you know i cant kiss you right now but i want to so bad.“
-you grinned at him, put your hand on his chest to push him back slightly
-you then put on an innocent facial expression and spoke:“i dont know what you mean, im just new here. If you excuse me, i gotta get to class.“
-you left him standing there and walked away with the same smirk still plastered on your face
-you loved yourself for that
-after your todays classes you walked outside to meet chris somewhere far away from school
-when you walked through the hallway you noticed how people were staring at you and whispering things to their friends
-you had no clue why since no one couldve seen you and chris before and no one knew anything about you
-you also knew chris‘ reputation at nissen and about what he had done before dating you
-even tho people don’t believe that, he‘s actually a very sensitive guy that just does stupid things to push his things further away from him
-when you reached the schoolyard, a girl suddenly came up to you and asked „have you noticed how penetrator chris was looking at you in art class?“
-the name made you laugh out loud since he hadnt told you about his nice little nickname
-„uhm no why?“ you then replied
-the blonde girl looked around and said:“Everyone here wants to know whats wrong with him. No girl has been seen with his hoodie in a while.“
-„what do you mean?“ you asked confused
-„every girl chris hooks up with gets a penetrator hoodie with his name highlighted at the back.“
-you were kind of confused and slightly mad at him for doing such a dumb thing
-„i dont know about that but why would he‘ve been looking at me?“
-she shrugged her shoulders
-„maybe you‘re his next“
-„we‘ll see.“ you laughed, said goodbye to her and kept walking with a lot of people’s eyes following you
-maybe you‘re his next
-you were about to reply „way too late hun“ but luckily you didnt
-but you were exposed, apparently someone saw you guys staring at each other
-when you walked around the corner you saw a guy from your class standing there at his car
-you passed him but he stopped you
-„y/n right?“
-you looked at him confused. „Yeah“
-„i know you and chris are dating“
-you opened your eyed wide
-how would he know?
-„im his best friend, you might have heard of me. William“
-he offered you his hand to shake which you gladly took
-you always wanted to meet his friends but he never let you cuz of his reputation
-„ive known chris since kindergarten, i know how he acts around a girl he likes and just that eye contact thing you pulled in class told me he liked you more than just a hookup or anything. Dont worry i wont say anything.“
-you were shocked
-before you could open your mouth you heard a „hey!“ from your right
-chris came jogging up to you guys
-„talking to the new girl william? Thats really nice, i‘m sure -its y/n right- doesnt know many people here.“
-william rolled his eyes and spoke:“dude just kiss your girlfriend hello.“
-chris looked at him, then looked at me and without hesitation he planted a soft kiss on my lips
-„hi.“ he then whispered and looked back at william
-„did you tell him?“ he asked you
-„there was no need to.“ william answered cool
-„the way you were undressing her with your eyes was enough to see whats going on.“
-chris scratched the back of his head and laughed a little
-you were just standing there grinning at how amazing his best friend handled that strange situation
-after not speaking for a while william took his keys out of his pocket and threw them at chris
-„here“
-chris was clearly confused and looked at him
-„what?“ he asked
-„get your girlfriend home and take care that no one else finds out.“
-chris smiled and you guys walked to the car
-„what do you wanna do babe?“
-you smiled sweetly at him
-„take me to yours and finish what he started this morning“
-he laughed and asked:“and whats that?“
-„oh dont you remember when you were eye fucking me in chem class? Lets do that. But keep your eyes shut this time“
21 notes · View notes
sugarpun-fairy · 5 years
Text
BEING A FAN AND DATING JOEL PIMENTEL - HEADCANNON
A/n: i was just fooling around w my mate @brattybombshell when this came up LAST MONTH I’M LATE FOR EVERYTHING SO PLS FORGIVE ME
also this is huge so yeah, enjoy urselves 
-x-
He meets you on the meet&greet  
You're all shy and nervous and almost pass out too like the girl from that vid and he's enchanted
P.S. it's your first show ever
And you bring everyone a letter with a small gift in it
The boys joke with you the entire time, trying to make you loosen up a little
You notice some of Joel's looks at you but you're like  
Nah, fam, me? Nop.
But the thing is that YES, FAM, YOU!
He's curious about you, your laugh and puns (that are just worse than Erick's)
He looks like a KID trying to find you when he's on stage  
But he can't
You were too far for him to see you and oh if he could bring you closer (like to his side) HE WOULD
After the show he's asking the whole staff to find you  
They can't
So he nicknames you Cinderella
You stole his heart and left without letting any traces
But he remembers your letter
He search for it like a dog searching a bone it dug on the backyard
He wants anything he can find about you, he NEEDS
A name, an address, an user
Homeboy is SO relieved when he finds your letter  
When he reads it and see your number there? He's on the clouds
He could swear he wouldnt complain about ANYTHING ever AGAIN  
Well, if you answered to a number from another country at least
He calls you  
He text you  
And you're like WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING MATE
That's when you pick up and he's like "hey it's me Joel"
You almost faint right there
Let's say that the show was on a Saturday and he's calling you at like
3 AM
And he's like PLEASE COME MEET ME I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU and you're like FUCK
Your flight is booked to the afternoon
You dont have this much time
The two of you don't even sleep
He sends a car to pick you up and you're a bit scared but SO excited (bc let's be honest the world is rlly dangerous for girls/women)
You didnt had time to put on makeup, just a quick shower so when you meet him you're all "oh boy I should have dressed up better why didnt I listened to my mom" AND HE LOOKS AT YOU AND HIS EYES FUCKING SHINE
That's when you stop, freeze and thinks  
"Fuck  
He's too much sand for my paper truck"
Then you see he's wearing the choker you gave him
And you melt
He's like "do you know a place we can go?" And you're like "I DONT LIVE HERE FUCK HE MUST THINK IM PATHETIC AND MUST BE REGRETTING CALLING ME HERE”
He finds it adorable how your body language shows your nervousness  
You can't keep eye contact  
But then you do
And then he's like "fuck" and you're like "fuck"  
And he's like "if you dont feel uncomfortable we could just get some snacks and stay at my room and talk about life" and you're so nervous you just shake your head
You see the amount of letters and gifts in his bed and you're like  
"IM REALLY HERE HOLY FUCK"
He doesnt make any move if he feels you're too uncomfortable  
So by the sunrise you're both sitting beside the other eating something from room service and he's listening to you rambling about your life
(He finds it adorable how distracted you get when you're talk and how sometimes you mix languages)
Then you stop talking and just sits back  
He's like omfgwhatdidido
And you're like imtalkingtoomuchheprollythinksimboring
You two stand there in silence and you look at the window
Sun is rising
His window is pointed straight at its direction
Mate
You love that boy  
But theres nothing more magical than the sun rising so you just go
And he goes after you
Mate it's beautiful
The sun, all the colors
But hes not looking at it
Hes looking at how even more beautiful your smile gets when the sun hits your face
"I'm sorry can I kiss you?" He snaps  
You're pretty sure you heard it wrong  
"What? Wait really? Yes please!"  
He nods and laugh  
You're smaller so he's leaning down and suddenly you're so nervous YOU BURST OUT LAUGHING
Your next thought is "I fucked up" so yeah you cry a bit  
You can't lie and say you hadn't cried already because the whole thing was SO UNREAL
The show  
The meet  
Being there with him
When he tries again it works
His hands are around your face then on your nape  
You dare to put your on his shoulder and his hair
His hair is SOFT
You guys keep touch
Using instagram since you doesnt have iOS (you tell him you hate it and won't ever trade your lil samsung, he gives you one anyway just bc he can)
You're not sure how to feel about it
First you're on the show  
Second you're kissing him at sunrise on his hotel room  
Third he's sending you gifts just so you can talk more?????????
Anxiety kicks in OF COURSE it's way too much
He stops telling he's single on interviews  
The boys tease him about it all the time
Talking about his Cinderella
There's a whole move on Twitter to find out who she is
You know who she is
Sometimes you're insecure  
About his career  
About you two  
About the fandom  
About EVERYTHING
He's always reassuring you about how he feels and doesnt care about anything else
(Your answer is always the same: anything else but music)
You're scared you'll start annoying him w your insecurities
So you start talking to the other boys too about it
Guess who slips that Joel wants to take you to tour with them when you can?
its hard to convince your parents, your vacation from work and college are not at the same time and you're like FUCK
the tour ends and you cant go and you're feeling so down
until he texts you saying he'll go to your country to see you
WE GOT POSTS EVERYWHERE "Is he going to see his so called Cinderella? So that means they met during the tour? Make your bets everyone"
it's crazy
you spend the first nights with him at the hotel before going to your house
the feeling of him being too much for you hits you everyday
gets worse when he goes to meet your family and youre like oh boy
you're so nervous you almost throw up
and everyone be like IM SORRY WAHT and you be like WE NEVER DID ANYTHING STOP RIGHT THERE
he spends that night at your house
its you, him, and your pet
and when you wake up you starts crying because you still can't believe
he also loves to hear you sing, even tho HE'S the singer there
its just a thing he likes, how you try your best even if you hate your own voice
a couple days before he goes back home he's like "get your passport i want you to go with me" and youre like "SO IF I TELL YOU ITS NOT THAT FAST WHAT WILL U DO"
and he just goes "JUST GET UR PASSPORT I HAVE A COUPLE MONTHS OFF AND I WANT YOU TO MEET MY FAMILY TOO"
At moment you're thinking if you could just leave everything behind and go live w him
part of you wants to
part of you is like "WHAT IF HE GETS TIRED OF YOU AND LEAVE YOU AND YOULL BE ALONE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY WHAT WILL YOU DO"
U insecure again
he talks to your parents, assure them you'll be fine
so you go
at first is just a short time
no one will die because of a little vacation right?
WRONG you're both destroyed when you have to go home
what do to? what to do?
stay? go? (SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO TANANANANA sorry)
you know he wants to ask you to stay, he knows he cant ask you that
you turn to him and be like "if i find a job here and have the proper documents ill stay" bc you dont wanna be a burden and want to have your own independence too
also california  im not sure if he does live in california but for fictional purposes the answer is yes
one of your dreams
so you stay
he finds a small ap for you to share and his mom helps you find a nice job
when you're all set he turns to you and be like "i want to make us public" and you kinda just freezes right there
you've been together for almost a year now so why not? you end up going for it
-x-
taglist: @southside-sweets @batboys-and-other-messes @imaginesandideas @brattybombshell
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