#Really fucking hoping she wasn't the mom of one of my friends or some shit tho...

[krippe90]

This heatwave is making people fucking pissed off all the time. Including me.

Just this morning some tiny Karen, in her 50′s or so, was being a cunt to the cashier at our local grocery store because Karen couldn’t pay with some dumbass card or some shit, and the cashier didn’t know what to do. The cashier was new since I’ve only seen her like three times before. To note: she is of middle eastern descent with a slight accent and at most 20 years old, so the Karen was of course starting to go on about the downfall of Swedish society or some bullshit and I could see the poor girl’s face starting to tear up.

I’m typically Swedish in that way where I avoid confrontations with strangers at all cost. but after working for 3 hours in a hot dorm, building Ikea furniture while sweating my balls off, I just fucking lost it at her cuntish attitude.

I interrupt her rant and said “HEY! Have you tried not being such a fucking cunt (aka: Jävla Fitta in Swedish) for five fucking minutes out of your day?! It’s not her fault you’ve managed to live as a fucking dumbass your entire life without properly learning how to pay with a card!".

Now I’m a peaceful guy. But with my shaved head, tattoos (pentagram, etc), bushy beard, and somewhat big frame (192 cm/105 kg), I am aware that I can come off as somewhat threatening if you don’t know me.

She takes a look up at me, and I’m already red in the face and angry looking from this fucking heat and getting noticeably angrier. Also I’m in my work pants and tank top so I don’t look like my usual computer nerd-self. It looked like she was about to start going off on me but I just roared “GIT! (Swedish: STICK!)” and she did! Left her unpaid packet of milk and buns and just stormed the fuck out of there!

I gotta tell you, it was the highlight of my year. I’m gonna start scaring Karens more often. Incredibly satisfying. 10/10. I recommend it to anyone who has the ability.

#swedish #sweden #personal #I understand why murder statistics go through the roof when the weather gets hotter #Really fucking hoping she wasn't the mom of one of my friends or some shit tho...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for outing my sisters (SECOND) pregnancy and causing drama

I (20f) am aware that accidents happen, but she doesn't even know the man to her (22f) first (thusly no child support is involved in this equation). Discovery of this information is due to me being the one that does the bathroom trash. It was... not well hidden, to say the least.

Pure flavor and context, our relationship would be less rocky if she had any sense of responsibility at all. From 15 onwards constantly out of money yet up the ass of every hangout/party in town, constantly trying to make it anyone else's job to keep her entertained. Has very much dropped out of college for #1.

But, actual event wise... I get to the trash can, and I'm thinking... oh god, not again. And so soon? Because baby #1 is about 10 months (male if it matters) at sending. Mom has already bent over backwards to handle this without destroying *my* attempts at college, and there's not a doubt in my mind my sister would have gladly gone "Surprise! Not my problem now🎊! " if I'd given her the space to do so.

Phrasing it like that feels mean, but it's been 98% mom doing it all. Diapers, feedings, you name it. If it's not cute enough for social media my sister has not put her hands on it. In my moms fantasy world this was to give my sister the chance to go back to the local college.

Now at first I didn't actually plan to say much of anything. It just... seemed risky in a way I didn't want the backlash for. But a friend of mine and her girlfriend were moving, and their planned roommate bailed, and I do very much have a job an can pay rent. The nitty gritty is way more complicated than that but I'm trying to not bog this down.

I waffle for a couple of days as I process the whole thing but I commit to thinking later and acting now about moving and by what's month 1.75 I'm planning what posters of mine to take/leave. There's been a second confirming test popping up in the trash.

I have to tell my mom, finally, that in three weeks to a month I'm gone. Slightly unsurprisingly, I get asked "Well, why? Why now?"

I did kind of think through it in advance, but honestly every other small reason just... left me? I choked HARD and y'all know the blank "ohshit" moment where you've got Nothing.

It was a messy conversation and I'm skipping a lot, but thankfully dad and sis were out to not hear it. She didn't fully believe me until I walked out the door to the new appartment, and it didn't end there technically, but I just sorta grey rocked it with the sole give that I think mom is going to collapse over this because she's not twenty some anymore chasing *us*, and I think mom wasn't processing it either until I was out the door.

Final stage, I've packed and am seconds from leaving. Mom asks one final question of "What exactly would you suggest here, if it's real, then" in that tone where it's not about getting real answers, it's about shaming me. She is scathingly told to make my sister homeless about it if she doesn't abort, so that it'll maybe motivate her to at least get child support if not put a stop to the slope of shitting them out like litters.

Roommates are fine thus far, but I'm introverted and don't really leave my room unless I need something so the space for conflicts are minimal. So I'm a week into the new apartment (thusly she's 3 to 3.25 months pregnant) when I get a heated, ranting phone call. I sure hope you can figure out who's calling that's *mad*.

First of all apparently I'm a cunt for taking the joy of announcement away from my, as she tried and got "We know." Because that is so fucking important for a college drop out on kid #2 to have, apparently.

More interestingly I'm apparently a double cunt because mom had been toying with asking me for rent, as my sister doesn't work either and babies are expensive. This was not aired to me by mom herself, but even if I hadn't asked her myself afterwards I wouldn't have doubted that part.

And I'm apparently a mega triple cunt, because (as I turned around to interrogate mom about because. What?) mom had a crystalizing moment where it did very much click to her that my sister had no intentions of stepping up in anyway shape or form. Why she's jumped straight to "you abort or gtfo" like I suggested to be an asshole didn't get cleared up to me beyond "No, no. You're right. Responsibility must be taken."

A different friend has asked where the fucks my dad in this; spinless with no opinion because if he dares to dissent he'll implode. Moving on.

I think that while I might have jumped sharks everyone else is now on a plane of drama that I don't need to follow, and should in fact be kept the fuck out of. I also think I've also hit an anger stage of this whole situation so trust in my own narrative should be cautious.

I'm gonna, like, pause the emotional train here? And mention that I'm not asking about moving out. I'll be guilty about moving out specifically when my sister sucks my dick for forgiveness (note my 20f label). But this has dropped an emotional bomb in the family and my friend groups interconnected enough that they'd've heard about it even if I said nothing, and this is now hotly debated (and most of my friends are on mute on my phone lol), and by now it's no secret the ''make her homeless'' idea first came out of MY mouth, no matter how mortifying it is that it was taken seriously on impulse arguing about it is about seven steps behind where the debate needs to be.

Again, I'm at the point of anger feeling good. She gets irresponsibly knocked up once already, drops out of college and refuses to get a job, and then runs off and does it again after dumping all real work onto other people. I think she's lost the right to have happy fun time pregnancy, and I'm here to get a (late) opinion from people decidedly more objective than anyone I can speak to rn. It's not like the pregnancy won't be here in the time this takes to move through queue.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[rafecameronsslutt]

Toxic Possessive! Rafe x Carrera Fem! Reader

↳⇁ You Can't Seem To Escape Toxic a Relationship, With Rafe.

Warnings! Rafe being Aggressive and Possessive Reader wanting to Leave.

You Were Finally able to do good for yourself. Without Rafe knowing You Only Wanted a peaceful life without the constant Thought of Rafe arguing with you over some stupid shit. You hated when he took control of your own life, as in: what you could wear, Where you could go. or who you could talk to you.

Rafe Even hated your friends which were. Pouge's Except for one and that was your sister Kiara Carrera she tried numerus times to help you leave Rafe but what ever you tried to do always failed miserable being caught and trapped in his arms once again for the last time.

You Loved Rafe, But his ways made you want to hide and run away forever but the consequences of that sudden action would cost you maybe even your life if you weren't careful enough the constant bickering of Rafe telling you if you ever try to leave him he would hunt you down if he has to caused you to be slightly afraid and began to overthink a little bit.

but he could be just saying that to make you stay Right? or so you thought. You were hanging out with Kie and Sarah at your place your parents were home they wouldn't be back until summer break was over they left a spear key just in case you and Kie needed anything or for Emergencies.

''were are they boys?' you asked Kie You haven't seen JJ, Pope or John B since earlier today they were out getting snacks and drinks to celebrate summer break with each other while waiting you and the girls decided to take some funny pictures with each other.

'' omg you should def post that!'' Sarah said in an excited Tone. Even when You were dating her brother you didn't really mind Hanging with Sarah she was anything like her brother Rafe it was like you could tell her any and everything.

''I'll be right back guys I'm going to go use the bathroom'' they nodded understanding You took your phone with you just in case mom and dad had called you. You soon felt the vibration of your phone. it was Rafe calling you. with slight hesitation you answered putting the phone on speaker.

"hey baby what's Up?'' you asked as you pretended to fix your hair in the mirror Rafe only started at you with a smirk attached to his face.

''Nothing much, What are you doing?'' You shrugged mentioning how you were hanging out with Sarah and your sister. right along with the others would swing by.

you would see the way you mentioned. Pope, JJ and john B coming over Rafe Didn't like that you would always hang around them he came quite Possessive when you were around them not caring if they were your friends or not.

''Y/n you know I don't like when their around you I want you to come stay with me tonight'' You rolled your eyes this was the night you had free time away from Rafe and you of course wasn't going to let him spoil it nor ruin it for you.

''Rafe no tonight is special and I can't just up and leave them'' Hoping he would at least give in you had pleaded.

''Y/n Don't start with your fucking stubbornness okay do as I asked you to'' his voice stern and deep with command.

"No Rafe I'll Call You when I'm done and then come over right now I wanna enjoy my time with my friends'' With that you didn't give him enough time to respond once you clicked the red button hanging up in his face which you wouldn't suspect would be a problem later on.

once you made it back to the living room you saw that they had started without you.

''there she is our favorite kook'' JJ yelled you gave him a unsatisfactory look of unprovable.

"eww Shut up JJ I rather be with the Pouge's because I Love you guys so much'' Sarah awed as she laid her head on your shoulder.

"says the one dating a kook aka being Sarah's brother'' Pope says smartly causing you to roll your eyes at him directly.

''shut up at least I'm still not a fucking virgin'' JJ and John B snickered trying to hold back a laugh which they failed at.

"okay that's fair'' pope pouted feeling defeated which he was.

A couple of hours had passed, and you couldn't fight the feeling of Rafe Being angry at you You had goosebumps maybe he wouldn't be too made right?

You Knew Rafe hated when you would also disobey him but you couldn't help but wanting to be with your friends and enjoying the laughter of each other it made you feel good inside.

''you guys we should play truth or dare'' Sarah mentioned and suggested you nodded in agreement and amusement. JJ lifted his eyebrows In a questioning manner.

"I'll play only if it's spicy'' John B added Kie simply rolled her eyes but agreed to play anyways because she was only bored.

''I'll go first truth or dare JJ?'' Sarah asked JJ thought for a moment before going a simple Truth.

''alright is it true that you and Kie got down and dirty in Y/n's room'' JJ and Kie both Looked at each other before turning there gaze towards you you looked at both of them disgusted.

"WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S DISGUSTING'' you yelled.

" i promise it was just on the floor and plus my room was flooded and mom and dad were in the house and your room is soundproof'' Kie says.

"says the kook who fucked her boyfriend in the back yard of John B's house'' you flicked JJ off.

"okay Pope Truth or dare'' Pope right away chose dare in his own Amusement because he wasn't a pussy like anyone else or so he would say.

''I dare you to make out with Y/n'' you and pope gasped you were really close friends but you never imagined kissing him before and the same with pope to you. but it was only a dare no feelings attached what so ever.

''are you sure you want to?'' Pope asked wanting your full consent before caring on with the stupid dare. you nodded only wanting to get this over with, Pope scoots closer towards you before grabbing the side of your face attaching his lips with yours.

''THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!'' the sudden sound of your boyfriends deep booming voice echoed causing you to jump and pull away from pope with a harsh shove. you felt the harsh tug of rafe yanking you up dragging you outside to his truck.

"ow Rafe the hell Let me Go!'' you yelled he slams your back against his truck causing you to wince out in pain.

''YOUR SUCH A FUCKING SLUT YOU KNOW THAT, FIRST YOU WANNA HANG UP ON ME TWO DISOBEY ME AND THREE KISS THAT LOW DOWN FUCKING POUGE YOUR THAT FUCKING DICK HUNGRY HUH? Rafe grabs your face squeezing tightly you clawed at his hand as tears peaked from your eyes.

"Rafe Let me Go Your Hurting me!'' You Yelled Out. Rafe didn't even think twice as he continued to yell in your face.

''WHEN WE GET HOME YOUR FUCKING OVER DO YOU UNDERSTANND ME THIS WILL BE THE FINALE TIME YOU FUCKING FUCK ME OVER!' Rafe then opens the truck door roughly shoving you inside. without even saying anything to your sister or your friends guess you would have to text kie later. because Rafe wasn't gonna let you out of his sight.

#rafe cameron #rafe fluff #rafe outer banks #rafe imagine #rafe x you #rafecameronsslutt #rafe cameron x female reader #drew starkey #Drewstarkeyxreader #drew starkey x female reader #outer banks #dark rafe cameron #obx fic #obx smut #obx x reader #kiara carrera #Sarahcameron #pope heyward #jj maybank #john b routledge

[crushedsweets]

hey sucker! 😋😋

what would the creeps do for valentine’s day?

like yknow, would some be given small treats or do others treat it like a regular day?

happy belated valentines day! hope you guys had fun and shared some love with everyone around you! this is the closest youre gonna get to x reader content from me.

AGAIN THIS IS SET IN MY AU!!! MY AU IS PRETTY DETAILED AND HAS AN OVERARCHING STORYLINE WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED FRIENDSHIPS, SETTINGS, JOBS, CHARACTER ARCS AND WHATNOT....... so :3 yeah.

Tim and Brian probably don't do much. They'll totally grab some chocolates/candy and eat it, but just cuz its there, not as a gift. if they had a partner, they'd just go get some dinner.. flowers, basic stuff. put on an unironed button up and pick their partner up LOL.

toby might do something depending on where he is in the story. early on, he is not doing SHIIIIT. deep into his friendship with nina(who opens up a lot of his emotional vulnerabilities n stuff), he might feel a little inclined to pick up some flowers for some of the girls in his life (nina, clocky, kate, lazari) just cuz he used to do something small for his sister/mom when he was younger (cuz frank never did shit). if he had a partner, he'd def wanna do jewelry and classic flowers. he likes necklaces and rings and piercings and stuff, doesnt wear them much cuz they get in the way, but likes seeing people wear stuff he got. he's the type to make them turn around so he could put the necklace on them, but if they even slightly laugh at him trying to be sweet, he's getting mad HAHA. "ok nevermind im returning this you fucking suck" (jokingly.. but he is embarrassed). would just wanna stay home though, no nights out or anything

clocky would paint stuff. she'd give nina a portrait of herself cuz nina loooves being someone's muse, do some nice art of forest creatures and leave some notes for toby. she'd feel pretty awkward about it just cuz even when she was with her highschool boyfriend, she wasn't good at giving or receiving affection. if she's gifted any flowers (which she will be getting), she's absolutely pressing them and either sealing them in some paintings, or putting it in frames that hold her old art/art she picked up at thrifts. if she had a partner, she'd obviously paint them or something. i could see her spending a long time working through a journal to gift them, making every 3 pages a painting, drawing, or journal entry expressing something. "today you and i went to get lunch. i think the place was way too expensive, but you liked it." and then empty pages for her partner to fill in with whatever they want.

nina. ok come on. lets be serious. its nina. she's gonna buy everyone(as in toby, clocky, kate, jane, liu) one expensive gift (cologne, watches, shoes, jewelry, makeup) and then throw together mini bouquets, notes, and probably shop lift other smaller stuff cuz 'IM BROKE I SPENT TOO MUCH I HAVE TO' LOLLL.. she's the type to literally decorate her house for it, putting up some of clocky's more romantic paintings (cuz she has a collection of clocky's work), setting out heart-shaped coasters, bringing out heart shaped pillows.... honestly she probably already had those.... she'd absolutely plan galentines dinner for her friends, bake cookies, everything. if she had a partner, it would be really similar. she likes to spoil people, gift giving and acts of service are her ways of showing love - buuuut she does want to be spoiled in return, so physical affection and quality time is what she wants to receive. she wants to be treated like a princess, be picked up, have her doors opened for her, told she looks beautiful, etc.

jack is even less likely to do something than toby. before the sacrifice, he'd grab a cheap bag of individually wrapped chocolates and give them to people he knew around campus. i could see him buying the same chocolates and leaving it in his cabin. telling whoever visits him to take some. nina would leave him some flowers too(say its also from toby) and he'd be really grateful, cuz she'd be very sure to get him whatever he thinks smells the nice. that way he can still appreciate it. if he had a partner, YOU KNOW HE'S COOKING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DINNER AT HOME. he's cleaning up, very awkwardly trying to dress nice. black button up, slacks, slick his hair back(or he'd just do whatever his partner says looks best, not too concerned with his own preference). he'd feel sooo fucking embarrassed and very nervous but he just wants to make it special. he'd write a long love letter, too

jeff isnt doing shit for anyone. he'll go steal some chocolate and mind his own business. if he had a partner, one that he ACTUALLY loved and wanted to keep around. maybe he'd pick up some flowers and chocolate, mainly cuz he knows thats the bare minimum sort of gift. he'd let them demand that day from him, which takes a LOT for him to let anyone feel entitled to HIS time. if he knows they have higher expectations (dinner, a letter, etc) he'd probably bitch and moan and be like "ugh you already know im into you why do i gotta do this shit" but if theyre serious, he'd probably do it. half assed though...

kates also not doing anything unprompted. she wouldnt even know the day is coming around. her only memories of valentines day would be passing out some candy and cards around class in elementary school, but once she was in the forest, nobody gave HER shit. she might pick some flowers and wrap it in some paper for people , but ONLY if she KNOWS they're getting something for her. like, she'd pick nina some flowers cuz she knows ninas doing something regardless, but she wouldnt get toby anything cuz she wouldnt have expected it from him. then shed feel bad. if she had a partner, again it'd be similar. she KNOWS she needs to put in the effort, but she doesnt exactly have the resources... the farm does pay her some cash since she works with the animals, but she mostly just gives it straight to toby so he can buy stuff for the cabin. but she'd keep it this time around, and quietly ask toby if he could come with her to get some stuff for them. some sweets, a necklace, scribble out a little letter. smth sweet.

janes married. and she goes all out of her wife. buys her like a 3dozen bouquet of red roses, sets reservations at nice restaurants, makes mary breakfast the morning of. all of that. i dont even know how to go into detail on this because thats just how it is for her, theres not some turmoil for her to work through. she'd also start getting sally some stuff. plushies holding hearts, balloons, sweet things like that. if she had a partner...WELL SHE ALREADY DOES!!!!

if liu knows nina is going to gift him something expensive, he's doing the same. he's going to grab her flowers and maybe some shoes or something he knows she's had her eye on. he wouldn't be really subtle about it, just text her "whats on your wishlist right now" LOLLL... he just appreciates nina's presence (after they get over the jeff situation) and likes having a little sister to spoil. he'd probably send jane a bouquet of flowers with a thank you note, since jane did a lot for him. if he had a partner, it would also be very stereotypical. date plans, picking them up, flowers, etc. he'd LOOOOVE to make one of those big baskets filled to the brim with random shit. would wanna come home and draw a nice bubble bath and have some wine. stuff like that in general...

ben, lulu, ann, and dina wouldnt do anything and wouldnt get a partner. lazari would draw some pictures for her friends! sally will draw something for jane and mary

#creeped #not everyone gets equal love cuz...idk #uhh #ticci toby #clockwork #nina the killer #eyeless jack #jeff the killer #jane the killer #homicidal liu #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta fandom #i like when u guys call me sucker im like :D HAYYY

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

What I Want

summary: you were flirting with everyone at the party for fun. Definitely not because you wanted to make a certain blonde jealous.

Warnings: mentions of hookups and slight angst (nothing nsfw), smoking and drinking mentioned.

-----------------------------------------------------

"God, Jackie. You're so right." You brushed your fingers across your friend's arm, internally praying that Natalie was watching you.

You and Nat had been hooking up for a while. Just casually, something that stemmed out of boredom. You weren't close enough for it to be awkward, but you obviously weren't strangers. It was the perfect situation.

Until it wasn't.

In the past month, you'd found yourself actually falling for her. It's like a switch had flipped, and you saw her completely differently. Her husky voice wasn't just sexy, it was cute. You felt emotional when you kissed. And you fucking hated it.

You didn't do dating, you didn't do feelings. And you knew Natalie felt the same. That's why it worked.

"Y/n, are you even listening?" Jackie asked, snapping you out of your trance.

"What?"

"Y/n, please. If you're not going to pay attention, I'll find someone else to talk to." She made a move to get up, and you just let her. Clearly, this flirting thing wasn't gonna work.

Although, maybe you shouldn't just flirt with Jackie. Maybe you should flirt with anyone. That would have to get her attention. Right?

It was worth a shot, at least. But you were gonna need another drink before you could fathom flirting with anyone but Nat.

Shit. You had to stop thinking like that. Tonight wasn't about Nat. Tonight was about getting over her. By possibly getting under someone else.

Either way, you needed another drink.

-----------------------------------------------------

As you danced to some pop song in the middle of Lottie's living room with Shauna, you felt eyes on you. You looked up to see Natalie staring at you with an unreadable look on her face.

Looking away, you tried to focus on the way your hips moved to the beat.

I want the fireworks

You put your hands on Shauna's hips and pulled her closer.

I want the chemistry

With that, the two of you were so close you could feel the heat radiating off her body. You moved your hips in time to the beat, forcing Shauna to do the same.

I want that girl right over there to wanna date me

You kept trying to ignore the lyrics of the song, kept trying to force whatever was happening with Shauna.

"I'm gonna get a drink! Do you want anything?" You yelled over the speakers. Shauna just shook her head in response

That's what I want, there's nothing wrong with what I want, yeah yeah

With that, you ventured to the kitchen and poured yourself another drink. You couldn't remember if this was your fourth or fifth. Didn't matter. You'd be fine.

When you looked up, Shauna wasn't alone anymore. Now Jackie had taken your place, her arms where yours were mere minutes ago. You couldn't be upset, not really. It's not like you wanted Shauna. Or Jackie.

The Vodka didn't burn your throat anymore, in fact you could barely taste it. You took another sip, trying to look busy. You hoped that someone else would approach you, so that you could go dance with them.

"Hey, y/n." A voice came from behind you.

You turned around to see it was Van, with an exhausted looking Taissa in tow.

"Hey. What's up?" Your words slurred a little, and Van seemed to take note of that, but she didn't say anything.

"We're gonna head out. Did you still need a ride?"

"Nah, I'm sure I'll find one. Or Lottie will let me stay the night." You took another sip from your cup, trying to maintain composure as best as possible. You didn't need Tai or Van trying to convince you to leave now. You were going to have fun tonight, goddammit.

"Are you sure? I don't know if that's the best idea."

"Can a girl not have fun anymore? You're not my mom." With that, you walked away. You'd probably have to deal with a pissed off van in the morning, but that wasn't drunk you's problem.

You heard Van say something as you walked away, but you didn't quite pick up on what it was. Again, wasn't your problem.

That's when you saw her. Natalie. Leaning up against the wall, no, being held up against the wall. All while some random boy kissed her. And she was into it. Pulling him closer. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of them from across the room.

Fuck. This was supposed to be your night. And somehow, Natalie had made your plan into hers. You hadn't made her jealous. She was making you jealous. Fuck.

You pushed your way through the crowd to the sliding doors that led onto the porch. Stepping out into the cool night air, you took a deep breath. No one was outside now, seeing that it was near freezing. You were shivering in your jeans and cropped sweater.

Patting your pockets, you found what you were looking for. You pulled out a lighter and a pack of Marlboro Reds. There were only two left. You grabbed one out of the package and brought it to your lips. As soon as it was between your teeth, you flicked the lighter, attempting to get it to light.

You were so focused on the lighter that you didn't hear the back door open.

"Need help with that?" Natalie's voice startled you, and you damn near dropped your lighter.

"No," you said, your cigarette still in your mouth.

"Are you sure? Because it looks like that isn't working very well for you," she responded, nodding to the lighter.

"Fuck off. I don't need your help." You continued flicking the lighter, but it still wasn't working.

Natalie, content to watch you struggle for a bit, just stood there. Finally, she seemed to take pity on you.

"Here, seriously, let me."

"Fine." At this point, you wanted the cigarette more than you wanted to act like you didn't care.

She walked over to you and pulled out a lighter. You, expecting her to hand it to you, stuck out your hand. Instead,she cupped the cigarette with one hand, and lit it with the other. You shivered at the closeness.

When she was finished, she took a step back from you.

"Thanks," you said, exhaling smoke.

"Well, it wasn't out of the goodness of my heart. I was hoping you'd share."

"I'm not giving you my last cigarette."

"We can share this one." She looked at you expectantly.

You took another drag, hoping that if you were quiet long enough, she'd leave you alone.

"Dude, what's your problem? You're being hella weird." So much for hoping she'd leave you alone.

"I'm not being weird. I don't want to share."

"No, you are being weird. You're not inside with everyone else, you've had like five drinks when you normally stop at two. You were dancing with Shauna. You didn't leave with Van and Tai, even though you should've because you're fucking wasted. You didn't let me help you. You were going to smoke alone, which is so unlike you. Seriously, what is your problem?" She seemed so exasperated. And a little bit hurt.

"What does it matter that I was dancing with Shauna. She's my friend."

"That wasn't a very friendly dance."

"But it wasn't weird of me to dance with her. She is my friend. And I can dance with who I want. And I can drink what I want. And I can leave when I want. You're not my fucking girlfriend, Nat. We're just hooking up. You made that pretty clear by practically eating that guy's face." You took another drag of your cigarette.

"Oh, so that's what this is. You're jealous."

"Yeah, Nat. I'm fucking jealous. Because we've been hooking up for a month, yet you never even look at me unless we're alone. And I'd be fucking stupid, a fucking idiot to catch feelings, but I did. So yeah. I'm jealous. But that doesn't matter to you. Because we're just hooking up."

When Natalie didn't respond, you took that as your cue to leave. As you turned to leave, your eyes filled with tears, and you prayed they wouldn't spill over. You didn't know where you were going, you just knew you had to leave. You couldn't be at this party, couldn't be here with Nat.

It hit you that you didn't have a ride when you had made it about halfway through Lottie's giant house. Which meant you had to walk home. In the cold. Without a coat. While drunk.

At least Natalie wouldn't be there.

-----------------------------------------------------

It was fucking cold.

You didn't think it would be this bad when you left Lottie's. But it was cold. And you were tired. And it was dark. And your feet hurt. And you forgot your headphones.

The sound of a car engine pulled you out of your trance.

"Y/n, what the fuck?" Natalie pulled up next to you in her beat-up little car.

"I'm not talking to you."

"You don't have to. But you're not walking anywhere this late. Get in."

"No."

"Fine then. But I'm not going to leave you until you get home. And at least you'll be warm in the car."

"Leave me alone." You just kept walking. But true to her word, Natalie crept along with you.

"No."

"I don't want to talk to you. Or even look at you."

"You made that pretty clear when you just walked away earlier."

"Then why do you not seem to understand that?"

"God fucking dammit, y/n! Get in the car!" She was pissed now.

"I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity. Do you know how pissed Van would be if you got kidnapped because I didn't drive you home?"

"Oh, so you're not doing this because you want to do it."

"That's not what I said. You're twisting my words. Please, y/n, just get in the damn car. We don't have to talk. We can sit in silence. But just get in."

You were tired of fighting with her. Plus, your feet were really starting to hurt.

"Fine."

"Thank you."

She put the car in park, and you walked over to the passenger side. You opened the door and got in. Once you were buckled, she put the car in gear and started driving.

For the whole drive, the two of you sat in silence, the only sound coming from the radio. When she pulled into your driveway, she got out of the car with you.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"Well, you're drunk as hell. And neither of your parents seem to be home. So."

"You don't need to baby me."

"Maybe I just don't want to go home."

You walked to the front door, hoping that she'd just leave you alone. But she didn't. She kept walking with you, and when you walked into your house she walked in after you.

"Why are you here, Nat? Really," you asked.

"Do you want the real answer?"

"Obviously."

"I'm trying to prove to you that you're not just a hookup to me."

You scoffed. "Yeah, right. Funny, considering what you were doing earlier."

"I was jealous. Jealous of Shauna. Jealous of Jackie. I wanted you to see me. So that you wanted me."

"Don't mess with me, Nat. It's fine, okay? I shouldn't have even said anything. You don't need to be here." With that, you turned to walk up the stairs, and promptly tripped over your own feet.

At the sight of you on the ground, Natalie let out a small laugh. But when she saw the tears in your eyes, she immediately walked over to you.

"Hey, y/n, it's fine. You're okay. Let's get you to bed." She grabbed both of your hands and pulled you up.

When she wrapped her arm around your waist to keep you upright, you didn't protest. You were just so damn tired, and you weren't sure if you'd be able to make it up the stairs by yourself.

After what felt like hours, you finally made it to your bedroom. It took all your strength not to just lie down on the floor and fall asleep there. Instead, Natalie led you to your bed and sat you down. She then started undoing the laces on your boots and taking them off for you.

"Why are you doing this? I've been nothing but a bitch all night."

"Because I like you, y/n. And I like spending time with you. Even if you are a bitch." With that, she finished pulling your shoe off and sat on the bed next to you. "Do you know why I started hooking up with you in the first place?"

"I assumed because I was there, and a little bit to piss Jackie off."

Nat laughed at that. "It wasn't that. Although pissing Jackie off was a bonus. But I hooked up with you because I thought you were cool. More than that, even. I wanted to date you. But you always had the whole 'hookups only' mentality."

"Yeah, but so did you," You add, a little confused.

"Oh, I'm not judging you. It's just that it's hard to have feelings for someone who is so opposed to dating. And since I only wanted you, I mean, I decided hookups could be for me too."

"Oh fuck off. Don't lie to me."

"Is it that hard to believe that I could want you?" She looks into your eyes as she asks that, as if trying to look straight into your soul.

"No comment. I'm going to bed." You could tell Nat wanted to press you, but she didn't. Instead, she got up off your bed.

"Where are you going?" You ask.

"Home? I mean you're going to bed. Why should I stay?"

"I thought you didn't want to go home. Plus, it's not safe for you to drive this late. Just stay. You can sleep here."

"If you don't care. That's fine."

"Clearly, I don't."

With that, you finally let yourself lie down. Getting comfortable, you buried yourself under your comforter and waited for Nat to come in with you. When after a few minutes, you still hadn't felt her crawl in next to you, you sat up.

"Are you going to come here?" You looked to see her lying on the ground.

"You're asking me to share your bed?" She responded.

"It's a king. Yes. I'm asking you to share. I know how big of a bitch you can be if you haven't slept right."

"Maybe I want to sleep on the floor."

"If you want to, be my guest. But I don't get why you would." You rested your head back on your pillow, acting as if you didn't care if she slept in your bed or not.

For a couple of minutes, it seemed like she really was going to sleep on the floor. Then you felt her familiar weight on the bed next to you.

"Goodnight."

-----------------------------------------------------

Three hours later, and you were still lying there, trying to fall asleep. Every move you made, you worried you'd wake Natalie up.

You look over at her, fast asleep. Her blonde hair was fanned out across the pillow, and her mouth hung open a little bit. Every so often she'd let out a soft sigh. She didn't look nearly as badass as she normally did. You'd never seen her like this before.

As slowly and gently as you could, you tried to get out of your bed. When you swung a foot over the edge, you felt her stir. You froze at the feeling, praying you hadn't woken her up.

"Y/n? What are you doing?" There went trying not to wake her.

"Nothing. I have to go to the bathroom. Go back to bed," you whisper in response.

She seems to be content with your answer and moves to go back to sleep. When she does, you get up off the bed so that you can make your way to the bathroom. You don't actually need to use it, but you didn't know what else to do.

For a few minutes, all you do is sit on the edge of the bathtub and think. Think about your night, think about Natalie. Think about how tonight, you were supposed to end up under someone else. Not next to the girl you wanted to make jealous.

But you did make her jealous. At least that's what she claimed. But you weren't sure. Natalie could literally have anyone that she wanted. Why would she choose you? The chubby lesbian who masked her feelings with an air of "I don't care".

God. This was confusing.

By now, it had been at least five minutes. Any longer and Natalie might think that something happened to you. Or that you were taking a shit. Honestly you didn't know which was worse. Either way, you moved to get up, bracing yourself on the cool ceramic of the bathtub.

When you made it back to your bedroom, Natalie seemed to have fallen back asleep. As gently as you could, you slid back into your spot on the bed. This time, though, you fell asleep almost immediately after lying down.

-----------------------------------------------------

You woke to sunlight streaming through your light green curtains, creating patterns on the wall and bathing the room in a pale sage light. For a moment, everything was perfect.

Until you realized that in your sleep, Natalie had rolled over so she was practically on top of you. There was no way you'd be able to get up without waking her.

"Nat... Natalie," you whispered, attempting to wake her gently. In response she did absolutely nothing.

"Natalie. Wake up." This time, you flicked her in the forehead.

She groaned and just buried her head closer into your shoulder, not seeming to realize what she was doing.

"Natalie, come on." It took her a few seconds, but this time she realized.

"Shit, y/n. Shit. Sorry." She immediately jumped away from you, and you shivered at the loss of contact. Her warmth had been nice.

"Don't worry about it. You were asleep. It's not your fault."

For a few moments, you both just remained in your bed, thinking. Neither of you spoke, until you could take it any longer.

"Did you mean what you said. Last night." You asked.

"Which thing?"

"About. I don't know. Having feelings for me?" Your voice was small, and you worried that you had imagined Natalie's words from the night before.

"What does it matter? I think you made it clear that you don't like me that way." She sounded hurt, and you hated that.

"I didn't say that. At all."

"Oh, so you're telling me that you like me, too?" Her tone was sarcastic, and you let out a breath at how mad she seemed.

"That's what I'm implying, yeah."

"What are you implying?"

"Do I really have to fucking spell it out for you?" Now it was your turn to be upset. Of course she was turning this into a game. Or course she was just making a joke of your feelings for her.

"Until you tell me what you want this to be clearly, I plan to act like I have no idea what you're talking about." She smirked at this, and it made your blood boil.

"Okay, Natalie. Fuck you. I'm done with this shit." You pushed yourself up off the bed and made your way to the door.

"Y/n, wait. I was just messing around."

"Yeah, messing around with my fucking feelings. Heaven forbid I have a crush on you. Heaven forbid you have any fucking decency. I get it. You aren't into me. That's fine. But don't make that more of a problem than it is."

This time, when you moved to open the door, you felt a hand close around your wrist. When you turned around, Natalie's face was inches from yours, your noses were almost touching.

"Nat-"

"Can I kiss you. Please."

Before you could even finish nodding, her lips were pressed against yours. Your hands moved to her waist, pulling her in closer, while hers cupped your face with a gentle touch you didn't know she possessed. She smelled like cigarettes, amber, and something you couldn't quite place. The mixture was intoxicating.

When she pulled away, a soft whine escaped your lips, and she grinned at the noise.

"Did that prove it to you, princess?"

"I don't know. We might have to try it again to really get it though my head."

She let out a small laugh at that and made a move to kiss you again, but before she could, your stomach growled.

"On second thought, maybe we should get breakfast."

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets season 1 #yellowjackets showtime #natalie scatorccio #natalie yellowjackets #natalie scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio x curvy! reader

[livinlikebailey]

Marauders as things my friend group has said

“Sometimes I forget how many dead people there are.” - Sirius @ Regulus during a family history lesson.

“ I’m gonna bite your toes while you’re sleeping,,, nibble, nibble, nibble” - a drunk Barty @ Evan who is ignoring him.

James: Drops phone on his face. James: claps friends theme song. James: picks phone back up like nothing happened.

“I’m a bi guy, a simple bi guy and I am 99% Lilly Evans and 1% Regulus Black.” - James Potter

“ Why do all the cute ones gotta be Deatheaters?” - Rita @ Bellatrix

“Iron chickens do not have iron testicals” - a very drunk Sirius @ an unfortunately sober Remus.

“I have decided that i am a snack it just no one is hungry” - Peter

Marlene: Climbs on train track bridge Dorcas: “Oh you are so fucking dumb, I look away for 2 seconds”

“No bite, no smile!” - Remus @ James who is trying to take a picture of him too close to the full moon.

“If i was there i’d slap her i don't care if she's 9” - Mary to lily after hearing about the shit her sister was doing to her. “James, I am a pussy.” - Peter to James about the forbidden forest.

“I would be James’ sugar bab- AHH!” - Lily about James to Mary.

“I have to go through all my saves and delete the videos of him because he turned out to be a pedophile… Hey! I had a chance with him” - Remus probably at some point.

“Was that CORPSE? Woop!” - Drunk Remus at a party.

Remus: “ughhhh” Sirius: “what?” Remus: “I hurt and I'm dying.” Sirius: “don't die, that's for kids”

Barty : sits up really quick "guys I just swallowed the nail, it's in my throat." Barty: proceeds to cough up the nail

Pandora: shows Regulus a picture she drew "this is cute" Regulus: "you're cute. wait that didn't go how I wanted it to.”

Barty: “RACCOON WORLDS DOMINATION”

Sirius: “Do I look like a freaking rat?” Regulus: ….. Sirius: “Don't answer that”

Effie: hears a song playing from james’ room “I used to listen to this song in grade school.” James: “Oh so it's really old then.”

Remus: "sips coffee stressfully"

Barty: "seductively eats toes"

Evan: "for your next random gift I'll get you a screwdriver Barty: "thanks I'm gonna kill myself with it"

Marlene: whining "mom James got me addicted to cocaine" wait I mean Crack cookies" - Marlene @ Effie

Nymphadora: tries to lick cat. Andromeda: "don't lick the kitty." Dora: proceeds to lick cat.

Barty: "school sh**tings" gives thumbs up

Sirius: shows Remus their high heels Remus: "okay whore" smacks hand over mouth "wait i- that wasn't supposed to come out" Sirius: laughs their ass off

James: yells across the store to mom “mom!" Random person at the checkout: looks at James "I am not mom."

“Effie’s a Milf” - Marlene

“I don't have nothing, other than a few std's” -Remus

“You can eat half a mermaid before you're a cannibal” - Pandora to Regulus

“Probably shouldn't be doing it but we’re definitely going to continue anyway” - Remus, Sirius, James and Peter in sync.

very confused Peter: “leprechauns don't play quidditch.”

Marlene: “like weewoo but not weewoo” exasperated and high off her ass

Sirius: “I like aids”

phone falls off bed Marlene in an Australian accent: "crikey my phone"

“I’m hooked up to so many wires i could connect to hbo on my heart monitor” - Lily on pain killers to James

"I don't think I can lick that, can I?" -Sirius playing goat simulator

watching cloudy with a chance of meatballs and it's at the part where the mayor destroys the machine and James says " I hope you see the error of your ways, you glutton!”

(talking about Cameron Monaghan) the murder child from my chemical romance - Sirius

"Fuckin’ Sirius"- Remus while asleep

Sirius "I've got middle fingers and i'm not afraid to use them" Regulus: "do it" Sirius "I’m a little afraid to use them"

Peter while asleep: groans and sits up fast James: "you okay?" Peter "not really." James: "What's wrong?" Peter: "I'm gonna have to use the loo to solve the thing."

Sirius: "So were you born in 2006, 2007?" Narcissa: "i was born in 2004" Regulus: "i don't mean this in a mean way but wow you are old"

Sirius: "I WANNA HOLD YOU" Remus "NO, LET ME MAKE COFFEE THEN YOU CAN"

Barty: "I'm gonna do a line off your dresser"

Barty: "i have a headache" pauses "and i have 2 more lines to do"

Mary: "I don't have to do acid I have the that back massager that messes with my balance receptor"

Barty: suddenly sits up Regulus: “are you okay” Barty: “i don't know, i'm just gonna go to sleep and try to see what's going on”

Barty: "Why not use a shotgun, it's easier, this is america." (was not in america)

"stop licking the oreos" - Reg @ Barty

"Do i really have to tell you not to mate with the cat"- McGonagall @ the marauders

Remus: “I can feel the brain damage,, and i've got another line”

“MY TRAUMA CAN'T HANDLE THIS!”- Sirius

“Ball licky licky titty croissant” - James trying to learn french from Regulus

“Ooo yay i love being kidnapped!”- Barty probably at some point

“The 3 c's cook, clean, cocktails”- Remus “The 3 b's bake broil blowjobs”- Sirius

“LET ME UPLOAD MY PORN DAMNIT” - Marlene probably

"Dorcas you should be my sugar mommy" - Pandora

"An air whore" Remus

"My skyrim character is Schizophrenic" - James

"I wanna blow up pumpkins, and People!!!!" -Bellatrix

"I can taste it in my eyeballs" - James

"you can't take terrorists to the airport"-Peter

"I'm really bad at swallowing" - Sirius

“you can't fuck a duck, you'd have to seduce it” - Evan

"Hey your boobs are crooked"- Marlene

"i’m sorry, i accused you of taking my grandpa" -Sirius

"im a gay virgin"-Regulus

"duck now motherfucker" Sirius @ James

"i wanna become a rug or everyone does a line of my ashes when i die" - Remus

"you can't be funny while I'm smoking" -Remus @ First year after he walked out the door

"I'm leaving, i don't care that much about being drug free" - Barty

#barty crouch jr #evan rosier #slytherin skittles #marauders #james potter #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #incorrect marauders quotes #peter pettigrew #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #the valkyries #the marauders era #mary macdonald #pandora lovegood #bellatrix lestrange #narcissa black #professor mcgonagall #minnie mcgonagall #nymphadora tonks #andromeda black #andromeda tonks

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

julia on a thursday

julia and annie were not good at planning weddings. "we're two overeducated sluts and we don't know what we're doing," annie told the wedding planner.

the woman, andrea, patiently articulated the steps they needed to take, and what annie was traditionally expected to do as maid of honor. they made andrea print them out a list.

the plan was for a wedding early next summer, and before long they managed to book a venue and get save the dates made up. this seemed like enough, and so they went back to annie's apartment and drank champagne and did blow.

julia's lease was running out on her apartment, but rather than move in with jim, who had roommates, she was electing to move back in with her dad and stepmom. annie hated this idea. "jim should move into your place," she suggested.

"he can't break his lease until march," julia said. "it's fine, i am kind of looking forward to learning how to like, be a wife."

julia's father had remarried about 15 years ago -- julia had two stepbrothers, 16 and 17, who she only ever really saw at holidays. "i still think of them as toddlers i saw on weekends," she said.

a few days later, they were helping pack up julia's apartment, along with jim, julia's dad, and annie and robbie. annie was very stoned, and at one point reached into one of julia's bedroom boxes to pull out a dildo and lip sync with it for robbie's entertainment. julia's father saw her. annie turned red and put it back in the box. they all had pizza in julia's empty apartment after. annie sat on the floor, well aware that the teen boys and julia's father could see her white panties under her short skirt.

"when will you tie the knot, annie?" julia's dad asked.

"oh, who knows?" annie laughed. "i'm not in any serious relationships right now."

"that's ok," said julia's dad. "you'll get there someday."

"yeah," annie said, "i'm a catch."

"you are a catch you know," julia's dad told her later, when they were driving the uhaul together. julia and jim followed in a truck, and robbie drove the boys in annie's loaded up car. "great job, pretty face, great rack."

annie laughed. "thank you. i always say my tits are my best feature."

"do your patients stare at them a lot?"

"i tend to wear less-cleavage-y tops at work," she said. indicating her tank top.

"well, we appreciate the casualwear," he said.

"it makes it really easy to flash my friends' dads," annie said, pulling her tits out.

"good lord," he said. "even better than I thought." his cock pulsed in his jeans.

"can i suck you off while we drive?" she asked.

"yes please," he said.

annie took a few pictures with julia's dad's cock in her mouth to show julia later. he made a mess of her face when he came, and julia took off her panties and used them to clean her chin.

"does my daughter have a nice hairy pussy like you?" he asked when he saw it.

"no," annie said. "she has a landing strip like a real slut."

he laughed. "that's nice too."

annie opened her phone and found a picture of julia naked and showed it to him.

"oh wow," he said. "great tanlines."

"i know, i'm so jealous," annie laughed. "does your wife have a nice hairy pussy like me?" she was pulling her cummy panties back on.

"no, actually," he said. "shaved clean like a good suburban mom."

"not a city slicker slut like me?"

"yeah," he said.

"you gonna fuck her hard for me later?" she asked.

"of course," he said.

annie said hi to annie's stepmom in a way that she hoped didn't communicate "i used my panties to wipe your husband's cum off my chin." they moved some of julia's boxes into a spare bedroom and the rest in the garage. robbie and annie drove back into the city and then fucked in the kitchen. after, annie sent julia the pictures of herself sucking her dad's cock.

"oh holy shit," julia replied. "you are a monster."

"hot though right?"

"of course it's fucking hot," julia said. "how am i gonna look him in the eye over breakfast?"

"maybe with an open bathrobe," annie suggested.

"if jim wasn't sleeping next to me i'd jerk off," julia replied.

"go to the bathroom," she said.

20 minutes later, julia texted "LOL OMG"

"what?" annie asked.

"stepbro walked in on me rubbing my clit in the bathroom."

"yesss!" annie replied. "did you have panties on?"

"no!" julia said. "i was naked!"

"amazing," annie said, "he saw everything?"

"everything," julia said. "and i haven't shaved in like a week."

she sent a picture of herself nude in the bathroom, looking mortified. her pussy was pretty stubbly, but her tanlines were still amazing.

"they're lucky kids," annie said. "such a hot older sister. they are gonna jerk off about you so much."

"nooo!" julia said.

"LOL" annie replied.

[lost-walmartbag]

first impressions pt3 i BEGG 🙏🙏🙏

i love ur work sm :3

Warning: Swearing

Background: You finally meet Eric's mom

Status: Ongoing

Previous part

Next part

Plastic

Her voice was so silky before when she called out for Eric. It was light and comforting as if she were always made to be a mother. And now, as she stood in front of you with her arms still wrapped around Eric, she was cold.

Her cold and unwelcoming gaze made your throat tighten. Like she was doing some weird Jedi shit or something.

"I-I um...I'm.." You tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. Fuck, you rehearsed this a million times why are you clamming up now?

"Mom this is Y/N. My partner." Eric said in a shaky voice.

She turned her gaze from you to Eric. You couldn't understand the look on her face. It made no sense. Why would she look like that after finding out you were his girlfriend.

She dropped her arms from Eric's neck and smoothed out her shirt. When she turned to you again you didn't see the same cold expression or the one you didn't understand. You felt like you saw a flicker of disgust cross her face when she finally took all of you in but it quickly changed to a tight smile.

"Oh. I'm sorry, it's just that Eric never mentioned having a partner." She said, clasping her hands together.

He didn't? Why? You've been dating for a long time by your standards. Why wouldn't he tell his mom about you? Maybe he had a good reason? No, he did have a good reason. It wouldn't make sense otherwise.

"O-oh that's um interesting. I'm sorry I thought Eric called and told you we'd be here." You said looking over her shoulder to see Eric wince.

"Sorry. It must have slipped my mind." He muttered.

"Oh, that's just my Poopsiekins. So forgetful." She said with a giggle. "It's ok I'm sure he didn't mean to. How bout you all come in for dinner?"

"That would be lovely thank you, Ms. Cartman." You said with a less nervous smile.

You watched her turn away and lead you and Eric inside. You took in your surroundings and how bare it was. There was hardly any furniture or pictures. It wasn't what you were used to but hey maybe you were the weird one.

You looked over at Eric and saw how uneasy he looked. Like someone walking into a haunted house. It was only then in that moment that you realized he never really talked about his past. His mom, his hometown, and the friends he had as a kid, those were all things he only briefly mentioned.

"You have a lovely home, Ms. Cartman." You said as she led you to the dining room.

"Oh please, call my Liane, and thank you, sweetheart. It gets lonely sometimes being in the house all by myself, but I would never dream of downsizing when this is where my Poopsiekins grew up." His mother said with a smile.

You sat in a seat at the table and you expected Eric to sit next to you but instead, his mom pulled out a chair next to the head of the table where she then took a seat. Eric sat down in the chair his mom pulled out.

You felt odd seeing it, but maybe it was just what worked for them. You moved over one seat to sit across Eric and next to his mom. You heard her take in a sharp breath the minute you moved.

"Well, dinner should be done soon. Can I get you guys something to drink?" She said with a tight smile as she sat up.

"Um, sure. I'll take a water." You said with a smile, hoping to get in her good graces.

"Me too," Eric said, keeping his head down.

His mom nodded and left the dining room to grab the drinks. You looked over at Eric seeing him shift uncomfortably in his seat. You lean forward and drop your voice to a whisper.

"What's going on? You look like you can't breathe in here." You whisper.

"I feel like it too. This is too much I didn't want to come back here." He whispered looking up at you. He looked....scared?

"Eric wh-" You start before his mom's voice rang out.

"Here you are." She said in a sing-songy voice as she placed down two glasses of water. One in front of Eric and one in her spot.

She placed a clear plastic cup in front of you. It had water just like the others. It wasn't smaller than the other cups. It was the same really. But it was plastic. Not glass like theirs.

"Thank you." You said, pushing away your confusion before you suddenly remembered about the potato salad. "Oh my god, I forgot. I brought a dish. I'll go get it."

"No." His mom said stopping you from getting up from your seat. "My Poopsiekins can get it."

"No it's ok really I'll go-"

"Eric go." She said in a stern voice.

As if he was hypnotized, Eric got up from his seat and left. His movements were almost robotic. You watch as he disappears out the front door before his mom brings your attention back to her by clearing her throat.

"So how long have you and Eric been dating?" She asked sipping her water.

"We never really set a date for when it happened but almost a year."

"That's quite some time." She said, almost implying the same question you had earlier: 'Why didn't he mention you after all that time?'

"Y-yeah I guess so. You raised an amazing son he's so-"

"Break up."

You stop talking and stare at her. Her long finger slowly moved around the rim of her glass. Her eyes were cold and calculated. It was as if she was looking down at you even though you were both at the same level. You never felt so small.

"I-I'm sorry I think I misheard you."

"You didn't. You aren't good enough for my son. Eric is perfect. He deserves someone better." Her cold eyes felt like they were trying to turn you to ice and you felt like she was succeeding by the way the blood in your veins felt.

"I don't understand what I did. Did I offend you in any way? If so I'm so sorry." You said, feeling your hands shaking as you gripped the fabric on your thighs.

"Look at you. Eric is nothing but perfect. You aren't. You didn't even fight to be the one grabbing the disgusting dish you made." She said, her lips turning downward. "I'll play nice tonight. Hell maybe even as long as you two are here, but when you two are back in the shitty apartment you probably live in you're going to break up with him."

"Liane I-"

"It's Ms. Cartman." He said with pure disgust in her voice. "You two are staying here tonight. Probably even a few days if I tell Eric to. For that time you can pretend that you're good enough for him. That you're worthy of seeing this part of his life, but deep down we both know better."

You sat there shocked. Staring at her in disbelief. You heard Eric coming back in but you couldn't get yourself to look at him.

He placed the glass dish on the table and removed the cover. You saw Liane slip into the perfect mask of someone who was genuinely excited to meet her son's girlfriend. Someone who hadn't just verbally berated you.

You felt Eric's foot gently nudge yours under the table, snapping your attention to him. He raised an eyebrow as a silent way to ask if you were okay. You nod and immediately avert your eyes.

Your shaky hands pick up your cup and bring it to your lips. You watch closely as Liane and Eric drink from their glasses and you take a big gulp from the plastic cup.

A/N: SO I had this written, and then I saw this ask and just transferred it here just so the ask was on top bc I liked the look of it. So no, I didn't only write part 3 bc you told me to, but I did finish it bc you told me to. Also, thank you, sm for being so nice it makes me happy. 🤭 Anyway, I hope ya'll liked it. Love yall, thank you sm for reading ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @jessiegerl @stephs-inluv @breadandbutter33

#south park #south park x reader #south park x you #fanfic #x reader #eric cartman #eric cartman x reader #sp cartman #south park cartman #cartman south park

[yourthirdparent]

OH MY GOD okay so a beloved follower of mine sent me an ask about my tristan mclean headcanons like in december but i accidentally deleted !!!!!!! the fuckcing ask !!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i'm making it a post. hope you don't mind. also sorry for the wait

most of my thoughts are things i can not share on this blog (this is the Normal blog for Normal things and not the fucked up torture i subject this man to on a regular basis. tbf i hardly post about it on the Bad Posts blog either but like still. can share it on ao3 though check out sleep by imjustheretoreadonefic (don't do that it's not good)) but you can ask about that (if you want, which you probably won't because it is not most people's thing lmao) on my sideblog, yourfourthparent!! BUTBUTBUT i do have some thoughts and headcanons and such that are at the very least decently presentable!!!!

starting off first: i think he's bi! i think he figured out he was bi when he was pretty young (probably somewhere in his teenage years, probably like 15 max) and when he was in his 20s he was very involved in the queer community (his 20s being. in the 80s. sorry.) and was like a big activist. that is until the curse.

the curse being him hitting his big break. stars in some film that wasn't supposed to really blow up but it like Fucking Smashed and suddenly he was like all those guys who do one role and then are suddenly in Everything. cuz he sure is in literally everything. once he starts blowing up ofc he's got folks to help manage his image and at some point they're like haha [lip bite] you gotta stop with that gay shit or straight audiences won't find you marketable. you're already native and folks can hardly handle that let alone you being an active queer activist. you gotta cut that shit out so you can be the next batman or whatever. and tristan's like Well at least i'll make money to support myself and my dying father!

newsflash his father dies of cancer before he gets a chance. tristan's doing his best to avoid thinking about his father's death so he moves out of oklahoma blah blah yk how it goes.

he has piper when he's 33 ! everything's set and he's settled and then piper comes along and like. he's alright. he can handle this. he can be a good father (he's white knuckling the bathroom sink while he says this)

yeah he's terrified of being a shitty father. he does his best to keep her away from the press and keep her Okay for the most part but in order to do that he doesn't get to see her much etc etc. you know. you've read hoo. bleh

when piper starts dating jason he's like Oh cool ! i am about to break down ! cuz like. hey man. he is so not prepared for the reality of The Passage of Time. wdym his daughter is 16. fym tristan's almost fifty. that's so fucked up how is this allowed.

anyways he and jason are like Besties (*shoving my Bad posts to the side*) like they're such good friends they hang out so often even after jason and piper break up they're just Hiding it then. like they have weekly chess meetings and they talk about books and their lives and jason concerns tristan So Much oh my god tristan is so scared for this poor boy What are those tattoos young man Who are these "wolves" that raised you What is this "legion" Are you in a gang Little private school boy are you in a gang. What do you mean your first language is latin.

ngl my obsession with tristan came from my obsession with jason. i made a post like ages ago about how silly it'd be if tristan was jason's gay awakening and i just kept. thinking about them hanging out. and it spiralled and now i'm insane about him sorry. jason will always be my number one but Oohhhhh tristan consumes me.

anyways live tristan reaction when he finds out jason's mom is beryl grace in the middle of showing jason and piper a million old movies (beryl is in one and jason sees her and immediately freezes and tristan's just talking through the movie (hes silly sorry he talks through the whole thing. piper actually likes it because she has a hard time following movies so tristan explaining everything is good but jason is vaguely annoyed by it. he loves tristan to death don't get him wrong it's just that he can't concentrate on the kovie with tristan spitting fun facts a million words a second) when he looks over to see if theyre still watching and he just sees piper fretting over jason who's looking at the screen with a thousand gard stare.

let's go misc things that i want to mention somewhere but don't really fit uhhhh

i have this idea where tristan used to be a drag queen. i don't have any of the details down not a single one but i think about him talking to piper and her friends about the old days when he was a queen. mentions something offhandedly about how he wants to wear more feminine clothing and someone's like "oh are you like. yk. a gamer" and he's like "oh nonono i'm not trans trust me i explored my gender plenty, wore makeup, padded my bra, did drag for a few years, changed my name—" and they're like "you did DRAG ???" and he's like "OH yeah LOLZ i was terrible lol. my team keeps trying to bury it from public view for a reason. those looks were NOT serving !!!!" (he doesn't talk like that but i'm being silly rn)

(you just knoooooow jason was jaw on the floor immediately looking up TRISTAN MCLEAN DRAG TRISTAN MCLEAN DRAG QUEEN PERSONA NAME TRISTAN MCLEAN DRAG QUEEN TRISTAN MCLEAN— the SECONDDDD he got a chance. like staring so hard at old ass pictures of tristan doing drag and realising like Oh maybe i am bi. piper dumped him because she found his search history /j)

i think when his father died he cut his hair but then when it started growing long again it reminded him too much of the past that he Didn’t Want To Think About so he just. kept it short. and it's been short ever since. BUTBUTBUT when piper decides she wants to reconnect with her culture (which she's been mostly separate from because of tristan's own avoidance of it due to memories of his childhood and his father and blahblahblah) it sort of motivates him to do it too. like if piper's gonna do it after tristan entirely cut her from their culture then like. he can too. and it was a big part of his life when he was younger so like. he knows shit. i'm not good at this btw sorry i just have ideas UGSFHADGSF but anyways when piper starts reconnecting he decides to do it too and his first step with like Getting Comfortable again is growing his hair out. it's a smaller step yk he just doesn't cut his hair it's nothing active. (ofc when it starts getting properly long he has a few moments. he has to really confront his grief over his father's death and just the fear of that alone is enough to make him want to cut it again. piper stops him before he does but he has a few moments where he questions if it's worth it)

ik i just said earlier that he's not trans but like sometimes. with characters. i have headcanons that complety contradict each other. that is to say Transfem tristan mclean headcanon. she changes her name to t. just T. t wynn mclean. she goes by t cuz it's something she's already used to (jason called her that all the time before she came out).

these are all the ones i have off the top of my head agh pleaseplease feel free to ask more about any of these !!! (or critique them lmao half of them are. things i suck at explaining because they exist only for hyperspecific scenarios wherein nothing happens but tristan talking to jason or piper LMAO) you can also send in your own headcanons about him or jason or piper because EYE WANT TO READ MORE ABOUT THEM RAAAAGHHH seriously there's so little stuff that features him especially and if you have literally anything at all i would lovelovelove to read it all !!!!!!! sorry for deleting the ask btw i really didn't mean to LMAO sorry to my honourary mutual (i'd tag you but i'm afraid of misremembering who it was LMAO sorry mate 💔💔)

#allfatherly guidance #answered prayers #tristan mclean #tysm to the person who sent the ask btw !!! i love talking lol #sorry it took so long to get this post out lol #btw. take a shot every time i say an expression of laughter #pjo #hoo

[loiswasadevil]

This is my last straw I've been getting non stop asks from Smoleggon and his gang They just want to be my Catalyst by accusing me of having sex with my late brother and By being a pedophile all because I want to unite Family Guy fans. SMOLEGGON I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH MY BROTHER AND I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE EITHER I DONT TALK TO ANYBODY OR HAVE ANY FRIENDS FOR A REASON. Everybody just wants to fuck with me and Laugh at me like I'm just some kind of fucking joke and I can't take it The only people who pretend to like me Only do it because they think it's funny when I hurt. I'm not a fucking joke I'm a Person I'm a living breathing Person with feelings and I am Effected by the things you say like when you tell me I am why my Brother died as if I don't think about that Every day and telling me I had Sex with my brother and telling me I'm a pedophile because Minors following me telling me I have to keep a tab on every single one of my followers it's so fucking stressful. SO SMOLEGGON AND HIS GANG NEEDS TO STOP SENDING ME THIS BULLSHIT TRYING TO BE MY CATALYST. I would never have sex with my brother that is Disgusting I have no interest in Anybody at all romantically or sexually EXCEPT PETER BECAUSE HE IS MY HUSBAND. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. IM SICK OF YOU PERVERTS MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THIS DISGUSTING VILE THINGS I DON'T LIKE THIS. I DONT LIKE THIS I DONT LIKE BEING TALKED TO LIKE THIS I'M TIRED OF MY DEVIL HEART UNLOCKING BECAUSE OF DISGUSTING SHIT PEOPLE SEND INTO MY INBOX. CONSTANT DEATH THREATS FROM SMOLEGGON AND HIS GANG IN MY INBOX TELLING ME THEYLL FIND WHERE I LIVE AND HURT ME. I don't want to hurt anymore I'm so tired of my Devil's Heart. I wish I could be Normal like every body else but I'll just be Alone forever that's what connects me and Lois is nobody Understands her not even Peter the love of her life truly Understands how she feels inside and no matter how Many people she surrounds herself with she Will always be alone that's why I don't surround myself with Anybody anymore I tried with Joe and Bonnie but they were Fakers who pretended to be my friend Because they thought it was funny to make me hurt I try to keep Brian around but He never talks to me anymore I don't think he Cares about me I don't think he's faking like Bonnie and Joe but I do think he does not want to talk to me or watch cartoons like Family Guy and American Dad with me anymore even though he used to and Meg doesn't talk to me very often I'm glad when she does but we're not close she's just a Family Guy kin although I'm happy to have her around the only person who was ever close to me was Caleb and he was constantly my Catalyst just like Peter to Lois. But I miss Caleb I really do because even when he was Ignoring me I felt like I had somebody to talk to but now I'm Alone and after this slander Campaign by Smoleggon I'm scared that people will Believe these Lies they are obsessed with spreading because they're Obsessed with me. I just want to unite all Family Guy fans and I don't understand why I get this kind of hate I didn't do anything wrong no matter what Platform I go on I get hate even in real life when it was just me and Jonas I would get constant Hate from my Mom and Dad because of Family Guy they would beat me within an inch of my life because of Family Guy I would lay on my bedroom floor bleeding and crying and Jonas was the only one who was there for me and he would wash my Wounds and sing me the Family Guy theme song to calm me down I miss Jonas and I do feel like it's my fault he died because if I wasn't obsessed with Family Guy he would've moved on and we wouldn't have to Run Away to talk about Family Guy and play Family Guy outside or get sent to the Tent. Smoleggon when you send me asks about my brother and about being a horrible person it really effects me. I know you think it's funny to be my Catalyst but it Hurts. So I hope you see this post and realize I'm not that different from you and I hope you can sympathize and tell your minions to leave me alone and please Move on.

[streaminn]

Yknow I've been watching the movie she's the man and I'm thinking

Obviously an au, but here's my thoughts

It's about to be the start of the school's first semester and Enid has an older brother who has a passion for singing

He has the chance to go on a tour with his friends but he can't just leave his school like that

So he has the brilliant idea to ask Enid to step in for him. Literally. Like full on crossdress.

Enid, who attends a special school for special werewolves (plot hole and an online school) has finished her course work for the next two months and is currently just crotcheting shit in boredom. She hasn't gotten much reasons to be out the house because well, her condition is low key kinda volatile

She can't shift, but intense emotions makes her pop a wolf attribute or two

The fam are generally better here, while they think wolfing out would fix Enid's condition, theyre more concerned and focus on coddling her

Enid, who knows their ways of dressing is absolutely different and that she'll get caught immedietely: are you serious??

Brother: I'll buy you first seat tickets to that one Taylor swift concert that's arriving around the time I get back

Enid with nothing else to do and alot of free time: SOLD and make it two

Brother: wha- fine!

Enid: you're also going to explain it to mom and dad

Brother: NO-

Esther and Murray aren't pleased but they're generally more concerned over Enid.

It took a bit, alot of convincing because this would be the longest Enid would be out the house but they agreed. The reason that it'd be good for Enid to socialize and talk to people her age convincing them that a new environment might help her wolf out

Anyways, for this au we gonna end up messing up Enid's design :(

her brothers hair looks alot more dirty blond so if I ever draw this, it'd look like that. And actually draw short hair Enid! Woo

Also I wasn't wrong abt the wolf features so she usually has some sort of side burns bc she's just genuinely really happy to be out the house and being about

She also probably rooms with Ajax, much to her horror bc fuck she's rooming with a guy!? But then she remembers that she roomed with her brothers, it's not that different

Enjax bromance happens, he's usually to high to notice and they're vibing

Then Enid has to partner up with the ever so infamous wednesday Addams for biology

Wednesday here is rather known in nevermore as the silent ice queen. Studious, cold and uncaring. She's there to get her things done and gtfo, no friends needed

But then her attention gets caught at the rather squeamish werewolf of a partner. Most men who talk to her usually had two types, business or annoying. The annoying were the ones that try to court her, acting all tough and that they can handle her. I can fix her! Is a phrase that gets tossed around. It all crumbles the moment they realize that threats she make, the lines she is willing to cross and the things she keep in her room weren't simply lies.

Yoko can barely handle it and she drank blood. It's not surprising but it is disappointing.

It disgusts her, that false brovado. All fake and lies. The promises they can't even keep. How can they even be a partner, let alone a good husband if there was no faith?

Atleast she can deal with business, those were the ones she can tolerate the most. They were there to do their work and only bother her when necessary.

Enid Sinclair (we gotta work on a boy name or smth) was.. Interesting. He would be situated in business, if he didn't seem to always be right where she was most of the time.

In the library (Enid's eyes got overstimulated walking outside so she took a break

Or she does extra online school work there bc it's a good area to focus in, Wednesday Def wonders why tf she taking advanced insert subject name)

The greenhouse (the smell is reminiscent of her room back home, she takes care of alot of plants and she hopes that her mother is taking care of them)

Outside in the dark (enid has all this freedom so you bet she's doing all sorts of kinda reckless things. Like staying up late, running around the campus at night and maybe buying some food from Jericho at like 3 am)

Fencing of all places (reason explained later on the post but Wednesday is wondering how such a stick thin boy is handling himself OK)

But what frustrates her the most is how unapologetically a pussy he is. Like this boy isn't afraid to scrunch his noise and lean far away from the carcass they have to dissect. Then he inches closer and tries it with an obviously green ass face bc he needs to do it for the grade.

Not to impress her but for school

The courage is admirable

And well, can you blame her for wondering what's up with the guy that always says hi whenever they pass by each other after their first class together? Not alot of people are willing to interact with her other than the usual brisk acknowledgement between her and yoko

There's Bianca but they're rivals so it doesn't count

Enid? He'd be walking with his pack of stoners and still say hi if he passes by. Gives a thumbs up if he ever sees her looking and mentions that he saw this flower and that it reminded him of her

It was weird

It was.. Nice

(oh no)

Enid on her side is hyped as FUCK. she's finally out of the house so she has freedom to do some reckless shit

So you bet she signs up for the fencing club bc rough housing? Her parents didn't let her do that!

Gets her ass beat by yoko

Asks for a rematch

Still gets her ass beat

It's only when she's lowkey bruised and her body is sore does Yoko come over and ask if she's good

Enid laughs and accepts the hand given. "never been better!" bc that burn in her muscles? Addicting and so friendship is born

Bianca and Wednesday watching from the side

Bianca: did ur roomie awaken something in him?? Bc this is just masochistic

Wednesday, admiring how sisyphus-esque the whole situation was: no he's always been weird

Anyways that's it, there's definitely a moment where yoko is going into the bathroom and Enid nearly follows her in out of habit

Enid definitely is alot touchier here as well. Always gotta have an arm around someone's shoulder and a hand on someone's back.

Wenclair happens eventually!

#Au thoughts #Enid sinclair #Wenclair #Wednesday addams #She's the man au

[dilf-whore]

babysitting with steve

pairing: steve harrington x gn!reader

genre: established relationship ,fluff

summary: the group’s mom doesn't know how to take care of an actual baby

A/N: i hope you guys like this fic. i honestly don’t know how to end it properly so please forgive me 😭. send me your requests and feedbacks if you have any! ✨

requested: no

requests are OPEN

masterlist

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

At first, Steve wasn't really fond of being the babysitter of the group. He was expecting to go with the adults rather than getting left behind with the younger ones. But as he spent more time with the kids, he would rather stick with them than leave them alone. He grew closer to each and one of them especially Dustin, who would often as he says, annoy him at work but truly, he really enjoys the boy’s company.

Steve’s position went from babysitter to the mom of the gang. He would give them rides to whenever they had to go and even give them curfews. Being a single mom is hard he thought. 

But when Robin introduced you the group, as corny as it sounds - his world changed. It’s like his surroundings are brighter whenever you’re around. Your smile, laugh, voice, everything about you is just so amazing to him. You often stayed behind with him and helped with watching over Dustin and his friends as they come up with theories or plans when shit happens, or just listen to their nonsense. And honestly, you were so good with kids, you know just what to do with them. As time went by, your feelings for each other has grown and started dating - and now, you’re the ‘dad’ of the group.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

"Sorry Steve but I have to babysit my cousin today”

You look at Steve, arms around his waist. He invited you to go watch a movie tonight but turns out you’ll be busy today. He kisses your forehead, “It’s okay, what if I come with you? Let’s babysit your cousin together hmm?”

“Are you sure? She just turned one, I don’t want to give you a hard time”

“I’m sure babe. How hard can it be? I’m not the mom of our group for nothing” he says playfully.

You let out a small laugh and gave him a quick kiss. “Alright, come pick me up at 3PM”

“Sure”

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

You arrive at the house - knocking at the door, Steve interwines his fingers to yours as you both wait for someone to answer the door.

The door opens and you see your aunt holding your cousin. “Y/N! You’re here!” 

“Hi aunt Sarah! this is my boyfriend Steve by the way. He came to help me babysit today”

“Oh I see, what a handsome man. Your hair’s lovely” She compliments.

Steve runs his fingers through his hair, flustered at the compliment. “Thank you”

“So Y/N, we’ll be back by 10 okay? Nina needs to be asleep by 8. Also, I gotta warn you she’s full of energy” She say.

“Got it, have fun!”

You bid each other your goodbyes and you take Nina from your aunt’s hold.

“So what do you wanna do today?”

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

The time went by quickly, you three played with Nina but honestly, she was more fond of Steve. He really made her laugh, he would talk in a high pitched voice, and would point at random things that Nina gets amused by. He would regularly check if she was sweaty and needed some changing or if she needs to drink and even get worried when she starts to pout.

You start preparing the dining table, arranging the plates and Nina’s high chair. Once you finished, you heard tired pants in the living room. Confused, you go and see what’s happening. As you come to the scene, you see your cousin running unsteadily around the living room and see Steve go after her - exhausted. 

“Since when do one year olds run this fast? Aren’t they supposed to be slow as fuck? cause like, they just learned how to walk?” your boyfriend catches his breathe and you just couldn't help but laugh at him.

“ ‘How hard can it be’ huh?” you say, mocking him.

He lets out tired sigh. With a few more chasing, Steve finally caught Nina. He carried her with an arm around her waist, small legs dangling on his side. You go towards him.

“Steve that’s not how you hold her!”

You take Nina into your arms, carrying her properly. Steve looks at you and Nina, a small smile forms on his face - admiring the view. He reaches for Nina and tickles her tummy.

“I’m sorry Nina, I don’t know how to carry babies” he gives a playful pout, Nina laughing at the man in front of her.

“Alright come on it’s time for dinner”

You all go to the dining area and settle Nina on her chair. You make your way to the fridge and grab some drinks.

Steve lifts up the steak you made, “Babe can she eat this?” he asks.

“Yes”

He slowly puts down the steak and give himself and Nina a slice. You stopped him before he could put the steak on her plate. “Babe not like that”

“What?”

“You have to mush it up or like slice them into very tiny bits. She’s just one Steve”

“Oh yeah, got it”

He puta the steak on his plate, leaving Nina a confused look. He slices them into very small proportions, easy and safe enough for your cousin to eat. He places the pieces back to hers and give her a small pat on her head.

After finishing your meals, Steve takes the dishes and wash them over the sink while you get Nina and wash her up for bed.

You get up and head to the nursery room, Steve follows. You then cradle Nina and rock her side to side, the motion making her drowsy. You start humming a slow and calm tune to make her fall asleep quicker. After a few minutes, her eyes close and is sleeping peacefully. You slowly put her down and tuck her in her crib. You look at your back and see Steve watching you.

“What are you looking at you creep” You joke.

“Nothing just falling deeper in love with you” He smile.

You give him a kiss and lean your head on his arms. “Thank you for coming with me Steve you did well”

“Me? Uhm no, she would’ve been crushed if you didn’t tell me I was carrying her wrong”

You chuckle at your boyfriend’s statement, “You tried your best. Besides I could tell you’re Nina’s favorite”

“Really?”

“Absolutely, she really enjoys your presence Steve. She literally smiles whenever she looks at you”

“Wow, guess I’m not that bad with kids”

“You’re not, just needs to know some more”

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

#stranger things #stranger things scenarios #stranger things headcannons #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington scenarios #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington headcannons #joe keery

[your-mom-friend]

Ranking Avatars on a Completely Arbitrary Scale Part 2: Apocalypse Boogaloo

Arson Montague: 11/10. What an icon. She is the moment. I want a full series surrounding her life. She had a Coffee Shop AU with Jack Barnabas and immediately stopped being evil and died. Poor girl. I can't help but find the circumstances of her existence so funny though. Her mom killed her dad while she's been pregnant. The cult didn't even want this to happen since she wasn't "conceived in the flame". According to the wiki they relented since "no one knew how that would even work". They threw away the childcare book because it didn't fit the aesthetic. She still turned out pretty okay. We love to see it.

Annabelle Cain: 8/10. We don't even know anything concrete about her childhood because she might not have told the truth. Go queen give us nothing! Yeah she terrified people at the arachnophobia study but she also used her powers to help Jarchivist and Co. so like? good for her? Confirmed Eldritch Horror.

Nikola Orsinov: 3/10 *in the tune* fuck this shit i'm out! fuck this shit i'm out! No but fr she gave me legit creeps and the forced skincare routine while hilarious to think about just makes me itch all over. Not a fan. Sorry bestie. Do have to give her points for being a whole Demon Mannequin and still being freaked out by The Coffin, as well as for being sassy with Elias. Points deducted for killing Danny

Nathaniel Thorp: 9/10 this man was requested and I had to look him up because i lowkey forgot but when I saw the start I remembered INSTANTLY I love him. He cheated death!! in a game!! what a madlad. Cut off his finger to prove a point lmao. Sad that he was a coward in the beginning but ah aren't we all? He died and then undied and then got better but couldn't eat or drink. What a character. @4bsent-damascus I hope you know you have excellent taste.

Melanie Queen: 8/10. Queen of owning her opinion. Not gonna call her a girlboss or whatever (she is but not for the eye thing) but if there's one thing she's unparalleled at it's owning her opinions. I feel for her! I really do. If I had a ghost bullet in my leg that decayed my morals enough to let me get all the pent-up anger out I would also not want it out. She was horrible to Jon for most of her run, but I also get it? Also, like fucking hell dude she had to mutilate her eyes to get her life back!!

Daisy Tonner: 8/10. She's a good person!! I love her. Points off for being a cop though. But she owned up to the harm she caused! And after disconnecting from The Hunt she worked VERY hard to make sure she wouldn't hurt people again and still allowed it to overtake her so she could protect her friends! Excellent character and she has incredible depth and complexity

Hezekiah WAKEly: 10.5/10 just wanted to lay in the dirt and get some sleep. What a mood. He didn't even really do anything! Yeah he was a little enthusiastic about the grave digging but I feel like that's understandable. If my only good sleep came after I dug graves I too would want to dig more graves. half a point off for murdering his friend though :/ I would've docked a whole point but his friend was a snitch and told the church which is pretty lame. Also it's so funny that the guy that wanted to sleep so bad had the last name Wakely

Maxwell Reimer: 5/10. His last incarnation kidnapped a kid which is a very bad thing to do, so don't. He is kind of a mid character to me honestly. Points for being a body hopper like my man JMag but eh. No real feeling about him sorry lads.

Tova McHugh: 5/10. Diversity Win! The person stealing your life force is a Demigirl! [This is from checking the wiki, where it's noted that Tova is referred to with both she and they pronouns.] This is more from personal dislike of the whole "I can do more so my life is worth more" philosophy they've got going on. Kind fucked up bestie. Was going to be a 4 but I kind of appreciate how much she's working for the philanthropy? In the sense of "I've taken their lives so I need to make it worth it so it wasn't in vain" which is has complicated feelings but I think it's good.

Micheal Crew: 6/10. Overall good character actually. He had some bad luck with the lightning strike and only went after the Lietners to get rid of the thing that was tormenting him. Devoted himself to The Vast and only then was a little insane. Don't think he even actually killed anyone? Just scares the shit out of them. Cool guy.

Julia Montauk: 7/10. Really cool to me actually. Feral, which we love to see. She's got such a fun dynamic with Trevor. She wasn't even like, a bad person at first. Just trying to live her life and then some pool of nightmare ink made heer feral and she's been living that monster hunting life ever since. Points off for keeping Gerry imprisoned and trying to kill Jon. Though I do wonder how she and Trevor managed to get into the UK at all considering they couldn't before

Trevor Herbert: 8.5/10. What a madlad. Showed up in season 1 like "what's up I'm Herb I'm homeless and I may have killed a man". Just wholesale unhinged. He also battled lung cancer. and addiction. and he won!! Incredible. Love his dynamic with Julia and I would've given him a 7 but I forgot about the addiction and lung cancer thing till I looked it up and I think that deserves an extra point that shit is hard.

This is part 2 of this post

Tag list: @pipis-pods @alas-shes-mad @4bsent-damascus @crabussy @u-suck-im-sick

Lmk who else you want to see and I'll add them in the next part (there's so many avatars it's insane there's like 80)

#rem rambles #tma #the magnus archives #tma s1 spoilers #tma s2 spoilers #tma s3 spoilers #tma s4 spoilers #tma s1 #tma s2 #tma s3 #tma s4 #nathaniel thorp #trevor herbert #julia montauk #nikola orsinov #agnes montague #annabelle cane #mike crew #tova mchugh #melanie king #daisy tonner #maxwell rayner #hezekiah wakely

[kira-fluff]

Imagine the bros with someone who was a gremlin as a child and just nonchalantly tells them their stories. For example in kinder I got dared to put a rock in my ear and my little five year old self was not gonna back down. I had to get that rock removed by a doctor 😭.

a/n: i love this oddly specific request as well as the flawless usage of the descriptor "gremlin". i too was a lollipop-stuck-to-hair, hot-mess-express child. thank u for sharing your amazing story x i took the liberty of using as many funny childhood stories as i could remember, as well as your own (thought it a befitting tale to tell to lucifer lmao) disclaimer: this is assuming that you had a childhood full of crazy events, but none including ab*se of any kind. these are silly, funny memories, not ones that would hurt you to this day. tw: language, mention of children in the future (not totally breeding kink tho), established relationship unclear so just decided that for yourself bc im lazy

reacting to funny stories from your childhood - obey me! brothers x reader

stories of your childhood were always something most found entertaining, but you found that these stories intrigued your demon roommates even more so. it started off as a comment you'd mentioned off-hand, but the brothers urged you on, hooked on hearing some of your stories - after all, it had been a few hundred years since they'd been children.

"...so one time i got dared to put a rock in my ear and, of course, only losers back down from a challenge--" "you didn't" "--so i put that rock right in my ear! then i had to go to the doc to get it taken out, but at least my friends knew i ain't no pussy." "of course you did."

lucifer

trying to pretend like he doesn't care

but is easily baited into the conversation when mammon says "the person who knows the most 'bout y/n is obviously ME!"

rolls his eyes, but you can see his head turning to listen to you better

is rude af about it once you finish your story smh

"it all makes sense now, that rock must've replaced your brain"

smirks throughout the story, making focused eye-contact with mammon because his dumbass did the same thing. LAST. MONTH. (for a bet, of course, that he lost)

scoffs at your story, but can't help but continue to listen with a smile

he's got it bad

feels the need to one-up your stories with stories of his own (that aren't embarrassing at all, but that prove that even at the age of 2 he was a badass)

can't help but let his mind wander to having a child with you (he's domestic af okay)

"let's hope your our child inherits more of the father's genetics"

i dare you to smack him upside the head he deserves it for being a snarky little whore

just run away after, it's not like he'll catch you he def will

"...and then my sister took my doll, so then i tackled her to the ground and started chocking her. she passed out but she had it coming. my mom grounded me for like a month but i didn't care because guess what? my sis never took my doll again" "remind me not to take your shit anymore oh fuck--"

mammon

oh? cute stories about your childhood?

he's all ears

can't help but turn it into a competition to see who knows you the best or who your favorite is

so badly wants you to say it's him ;-;

was expecting stories about maybe the time you made your first friend or when you learned your first word

nope

he's over here sweating bullets because did he remember to put back all that stuff he took?

he wasn't gonna sell it or anythin'.. he just kinda likes the way yer stuff smells... not in a creepy way though, ok?!

and like, you hadn't noticed yet

so of course he was gonna keep some of your stuff!!!

but.. but you choked your sister for stealing a doll?

not even lucifer was that... extreme

may or may not find him in your room, putting all of your things back in the places he recalled he'd taken them

you'd just laugh, saying you didn't mind as long as it wasn't something you really needed

he breathed a sigh of relief

he was genuinely about to shit his pants when you walked through the door

"'m too young to die! swear i was jus' lookin' at 'em!"

"..one time my dad was in a bad mood so he got mad that i passed the ketchup bottle without the cap facing DOWN so that all the ketchup was able to be poured out quickly. so then, when he asked me to pass the salt, so i looked at him, then turned the salt shaker face down and handed it to him as the salt was pouring out..."

leviathan

already tweeting "STORIES FROM Y/N'S CHILDHOOD?!?!??! #REALSHITSABTTOGODOWN #STANRURICHAN"

spurs him to tell his own stories about his childhood (he wants to share but swears its sO emBarrAsSinG"

swears he was into anime as a newborn

is honestly a lil giddy to hear your stories and laughs at them just as much as everyone else

whenever you come into his room while he is gaming he wants you to tell him more of the stories from your childhood

"LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO Y/N IS A SAVAGE"

doesn't find it hard to believe that you were just as sassy as a little child

you're just like him <3

kinda blushes imagining the two of you being childhood besties uwu

like he gives bullied in high school vibes for some reason idk

i can just imagine the two of you being the best of friends

you'd make him lil flower crowns while he ranted to you about his pokemon card collection

he's so SOFT for you omgggg

would quite literally die for you if he had to but im getting off topic

anyway, please never stop talking to him, it's his number one fear <3

giggles in the dorky way he does when you get super expressive

"...there was this day when i was eight and i didn't want to go to school anymore and i was bored in class so i decided right then and there that i would lose my tooth and get one of those crappy-looking 'tooth necklaces'..... not five minutes later, i ripped my front tooth out and was sent to the nurses with blood dripping down the hallway. i was so proud of myself but it turned out i had accidentally ripped out an ADULT tooth. my parents were pissed, but i was proud because i got to go home and eat ice cream for two weeks."

satan

THRIVES off the stories of you being a little shit as a kid lol (or the stories of you being a little shit now)

that being said, WHAT THE FUCK

he forgot how wild kids can be, much less YOU

i mean, you were sent to the demon world and all you did was shrug and roll with it??? who even are you????

you even felt a little bit of pity for your parents, bless their souls

he smirked at the part where you got out of school as you clasped your chest proudly

it was cute to watch you get excited about all your little adventures from when you were younger - it's hard to believe that was only a few decades ago (to him)

finds himself looking for the you now in your old self

he's easily able to identify some of your key traits: stubbornness, strength, optimism, kindness, wit...

you were always this way, he thought, and it was reassuring.

a little smile crept up his face, taking over the neutral expression that once adorned his soft and regal features

you were always something something special

"...and then the teacher was wearing this ugly ass skirt and so my sassy little six-year-old self was like 'did you dress in the dark or something? because your shirt doesn't match your skirt'... i feel kinda bad about it now but it was iconic back in the day."

asmodeus

gives you exaggerated reactions to each part of your story, but they're genuine

gASP

hand over mouth

laughs at the parts when you get super animated

insists your are doing her a favor by helping her with her fashion dilemma

honestly he probably has some similar stories to share himself

gushes about how the two of you are so alike that it is shocking

(i mean i guess sorta? jk u wish)

"we're so similar.. let's go to my bedroom and find out what is different"

all his other brothers simultaneously shout, "NO"

i headcanon that asmo has dimples that come out when he truly, REALLY smiles and he does it when you talk about your childhood

you get all excited and he can't help but just shout, "oH you're SO cUTE~~~~~!"

"....i backflipped into the christmas tree and the next thing i knew i was in one of those crusty ass hospital beds. so yeah, i don't recommend doing that."

beezlebub

got lost half-way through the story when he got up to get a snack

next thing he knew you were talking about backflipping???

still though, he found it really cute how you got all soft when talking about the way that your mother started crying once you woke up only for her to fall into a fit of rage the next moment

the moment actually brought tears to your eyes, reminding you of a part of yourself that did really miss home and the people that you left there

his eyes widened, taking in your shrinking form

as if his arms moved on his own, he moved to grasp you in a tight embrace

your sniffles ceased and you even let out a little giggle, "beel, you're squishing me"

he apologized, his purple eyes full of worry and remorse

you only shook your head, mumbling a quiet, "i'm fine"

he realized that even though devildom seemed like home to him now, he also knew what it felt like to have to get used to an entirely new place, especially going from being an angel to a deadly sin

so he cherished those moments in his heart, but he was hesitant to ask you more about your childhood, afraid that the memories, while happy, would also make you homesick

he cares for you so much, don't ever think otherwise <3

"...i skipped class so many times because i slept in - and like, usually i'd just show up late, but i had decided that i will never be that loser who ran to class. if i was gonna show up late, i'd show up looking good. so i'd curl my hair and put on makeup if i was late. i'd be more late, but i'd look like a bad bitch."

belphegor

your "idgaf" personality reflects his quite well

the amount of times he's tried to skip school because of sleeping were too far to count

yet lucifer always forced him to take part in the daily academics activities

honestly sort of jealous of you

still, he gets over it quickly, though, when he sees the cute little crescents that your eyes form

can't help but not be mad at you

and now he knows the perfect person to go to when he wants to escape the world and take a big nap

maybe miss a few classes on the side with you :)

you're his special napping buddy

a/n: this was sorta ass but just ignore it

#obey me #obey me x reader #obey me! #obey me! x reader #obey me x you #obey me! lucifer #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x you #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon #obey me! mammon x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me! leviathan #obey me leviathan #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me! leviathan x reader #obey me! satan #obey me satan #obey me! satan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me brothers #obey me brothers x reader #obey me! asmodeus x reader

[gravyhoney]

Cw// gun/weapon

Let me into your brain about the silly legos (hc’s) - ✧

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ABOUT MY HCS‼️‼️

Idk which Legos you were referring to so I will make a HC post for Ninjago characters since it’s what I’m currently hyperfixating on.

Buckle in for an extremely long post because I am insane. Cutting it to keep it organized for u guys 🫶

So one thing about me is that I love incorporating other people’s headcanons into my own. And sometimes that leads to some contradicting headcanons, so in my little brain I have like, multiple different sets of headcanons for a bunch of different characters while also having My Headcanons, those being the ones I believe in the most/came up with without outside influence. I will be listing My Headcanons, but I type that entire preface to explain why some of my posts might be contradictory of the headcanons I list here 🫶

It’s gonna go like this in no particular order. (The order of how excited I am to share my hcs for them)

Character name- gender/pronouns, sexuality

List of headcanons

——————————————————

General-

Their eye color aligns with their element, they all have their natural eye colors, but after realizing/unlocking their elemental powers, they began to change.

Adding onto the above hc, Kai and Nya's eyes are still pretty dull due to them being like, the last two to realize their powers, while Jay's are extremely bright and vibrant.

Jay- she/they (occasionally he) transfem + gender-fluid, bisexual

Hard of hearing, wears hearing aids. I think the hearing loss has always been there, but I think her elemental power just worsened it, bc you know. Thunder loud.

That being said, I think she was the first to get her elemental powers. I think they got them when she was like, a really really young kid.

Has heterochromia.

Came out as trans like, mid-prime empire.

Has psychosis and suffers from delusions.

Not rlly a Jay hc, but related. Their mom gave them up because she was desperately hoping they wouldn't have an elemental power, but if she did, they'd be near unfindable because she lived through hell and didn't want Jay to have to go through the same.

AuDHD

Nya- she/they transfem nonbinary, bisexual demiromantic

Has a tremor after un-merging with the ocean.

Her and Kai both have pretty bad anger issues.

SHE CAN BREATHE UNDERWAAAATTTEEERRRRR I believe she can ok?

For a long time after Hands Of Time she hates the way she looks because of how much she looks like her mom.

Still holds a heavy resentment against their parents, because even though it wasn't their choice to leave, them and Kai still had to grow up alone.

Fucking hates the taste of cinnamon.

Has time blindness, but only after un-merging with the ocean. She became disoriented and confused about the passage of time after being the ocean for so long.

Sometimes they still feel pulled back to the water.

Best friends with Cole (I believe this one wholeheartedly)

ADHD

Lloyd- he/they nonbinary, aroace

Has insomnia, and a sleepwalking problem when he can get to sleep.

Looked fairly human when he was young, but as he got older, his Oni and Dragon features started showing more.

The feelings he felt for Harumi was mostly confusion because she was the first girl he got close to that didn't have what felt like an 'older sister' role in his life.

Really likes bugs.

Has auditory processing disorder.

Their body doesn't regulate temperature regularly.

Religiously watches iceberg videos.

Likes wearing more loose fitting, baggy clothing.

High-empathy autistic.

Kai- he/him transman, bisexual

He and Nya both have pretty bad anger issues.

He likes occasionally dressing femininely, but usually decides against it because he’s afraid people won’t take him seriously.

HIS ASS IS NOT THE DESIGNATED DRIVER

Has burn scars that go pretty far up his arms due to his own elemental power.

Extremely high body heat, has to wear gloves to avoid burning people at the touch.

Has a pretty bad memory due to constant concussions (his ass got beat to shit CONSTANTLY)

Was stealth trans for a while, because he wanted people to take him seriously, but stopped caring after a while and is extremely open about his identity.

Has a deep paranoia that he’s going to hurt the people he cares about, and is constantly over correcting at ever little mistake.

ADHD

Cole- he/they, gay ace grey-aro

After the events of DOTD he has to use a mobility aid for a while while he gets accustomed to having a body again.

Body-image issues.

He feels like he’s supposed to be in charge of keeping everyone safe.

Best friends with Nya and Vania (I believe in this one SO hard.)

He loves cooking, and is very defensive about it. NOBODY is allowed in the kitchen while he's cooking (except Nya she's his taste tester).

Has constant night terrors and has a very detailed sleep routine to avoid them.

Super good with kids.

Girls girl (gender neutral).

OCD + ADHD.

Zane- they/them agender, panromantic ace

Will sometimes pick up little crafts or projects, jack of all trades type vibe.

Is actually SUPER up to date with every single internet trend or meme.

Can't taste (bc they're a nindroid...) but fr thought for years that all food just had no taste until the robot reveal and they're like 'ohh'

Has constantly wildly shifting morals.

Genuinely the scariest of the group, sometimes freaking out everyone else. This makes them sad. They present themselves in such a way to make them approachable.

Has a tendency to blame themself when everything goes wrong.

Refuses to talk about their feelings to anyone else, bottling it up.

Autistic.

Pixal- any pronouns agender, unlabeled ace

Runs every single online forum about the ninja, none of them know.

Always has to feel useful, or she gets stressed out easily.

Listens to podcasts when he works.

Wildly defensive.

Felt a little unworthy of the Samurai X title when nobody knew it was them.

Low-empathy autistic.

Skylor- she/they, lesbian

True neutral (generally looks out for herself, doesn't really do things for the greater good, but for her own sake)

Doesn't remember her mom at all, she passed away when she was extremely young.

After the events of S4 she completely uprooted her life, changed literally everything about herself to disconnect herself from her father. Renamed the noodle shop, and completely rewrote the menu.

Makes most of her own clothes.

Picked up painting, is insanely good at it.

Slightly self destructive, constantly trying to distance themself from the ninja, but Kai always drags her back.

Realized her elemental power at a very young age, mostly because of her father.

BPD + CPTSD.

Vania- she/fae/it/he transwoman, lesbian aromantic

Very talkative.

Writes to Cole a lot (she has both a phone and his phone number it just likes writing to him).

Plays a lot of instruments, faer favorites being the harp and the violin.

Extremely anxious that she's not going to be a good queen, constantly overcorrecting.

Really indecisive and always changing his mind.

AuDHD

Harumi- she/he bigender, pansexual

Probably bites people.

Because of how sheltered she was with the royal family, she doesn't know a lot of basic life skills, and had to teach herself near everything she knows.

He did learn how to sew, and mends his own clothes.

Has albinism.

Always blaming her problems on other people, that being a product of the extreme pressure he was under when princess.

ADHD + CPTSD.

Sora- she/they/various neos transfem, lesbian

Always has to be busy, or she will start spiraling.

Wildly protective of Arin.

Was constantly getting into fights in the early days of living in the crossroads, very quickly learned they'd have to constantly fight to survive.

Talks about xer childhood like 'haha yeah it be how it be :)' and everyone listening is completely horrified.

Views everyone she meets as a threat until they prove they aren't.

Really likes reading, her favorite genre being sci-fi.

Does some creative writing, but has never shown anyone her writing.

Love language is quality time.

Since realizing their elemental power, she's had a tremor in her hands. She hates it.

Low-empathy autistic + OCD.

Arin- he/they transmasc, unlabeled aroace

Needs people to be in the kitchen when he bakes, he's very social.

Wildly protective of Sora

Has night terrors, has never talked about it.

Actually really good at fighting dirty if needed. Bro kicks ASS.

Picks at his fingernails.

Has read Sora's writing, (she doesn't know) he finds some comfort in it.

Love language is physical touch.

Is always completely down to prank people, a devious little guy.

Nearsighted, but doesn't ever mention it because he doesn't know.

Craves validation from anywhere he can get it.

Low-empathy autistic + ADHD

Wyldfyre- he/she/they nonbinary, queer greyaro

Anger issues for days.

Really physically strong.

Love language is physical touch.

Has burn scars on their hands and thinks they make them look badass.

Talks loudly because he has hearing loss.

Doesn't know how to interact with people, seeing as she was raised by a dragon.

Low pain tolerance, but knows how to hide it.

It never came up until she started living with people, but he's deathly afraid of seeming weak or incapable.

ADHD

Euphrasia- she/her transwoman, unlabeled ace

Introverted as hell.

Can hold her own in a fight for a surprisingly long time (I know this is not canon compliant, let me be delusional)

Had really long hair, but had a manic episode and cut it all off.

Likes drawing.

Despite her job, she's not too keen on reading.

Autistic

#ninjago #lego ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising #ninjago sora #ninjago kai #ninjago zane #ninjago jay #ninjago cole #ninjago arin #ninjago pixal #ninjago nya #ninjago lloyd #ninjago skylor #ninjago harumi #ninjago vania #ninjago wyldfyre #ninjago euphrasia #ninjago headcanons #lego ninjago headcanon #finished my headcanon masterpost #mason writes #mason posts #lego ninjago dr #lego ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising ninjago #gun tw #tw gun #tw: gun #tw:gun

[starrycassi]

Ambrosius and alcohol headcanons (inspired by the very drunk guy outside my house right now)

I do think Ambrosius has some sort of weird relationship with alcohol, even if it isn't exactly an addiction. Yet.

His mom wasn't exactly an alcoholic but she tended to turn to it whenever things got too rough, and he knew that when the whole living room stinked of wine something was wrong and he probably would have to help get it fixed later.

Then he turned into a teen and he wanted to fit in and all that. Ballister probably had a way bigger alcohol tolerance than he did, why with his street kid immunity to everything, and ended up dragging him around whenever Ambrosius took a few too many. It was fun, to be mildly conscious of everything while being carried in his best friend's back like a damsel in distress.

Then his mom died, and it was the only coping mechanism he really was allowed to have. It's logical for a manly man like him to get drunk and aggressive when his mom dies — but he couldn't be seen crying around like a lost child or doing anything too ridiculous, but drinking made him remember his mom even more (be it because he picked up the habit there or because being drunk makes you remember)

No one really did anything about it because his knigths performance didn't really lower so fuck it let the kid drink himself to death, too. Ballister took care of him but he grew Jo on the streets so seeing people deal with shit by getting hammered was relatively normal for him and he never thought it a big deal.

I THINK and you can't deny this to me because I'll literally cry THAT IN THE SCENE WHERE THEY SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AMBROSIUS WAS WEARING MAKEUP.

Literally fight me on this that man didn't sleep for a week I know it in my bones.

He also turned to drinking again, except this time the Director actually needed him to track down Ballister so she interfered.

He get better with his drinks after the wall falls and allat, and he gets drunk for fun and not because it's the only way he can deal with the pain.

Nomina and him get drunk together one time and Ballister finds them discussing the logistic of arm chopping as a love language and if it falls under the physical touch (sword cutting) or gift giving (prosthetic arm)

He's too surprised to be offended.

#nimona (2023) #ballister nimona #ambrosius goldenloin #goldenheart #nimona movie #I do not see Nimona as a kid that's a literally 1000 years old entity she drinks every so often I'm sorry guys #you let her alone with Ambrosius too long and they go back to the ArmChopping Debate. it's been going on for five years #I added the Captain gloria shit on the end because I have NO idea on how to link a post properly #someone explain it to me pls xoxo