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#REMIND ME TO NEVER DO 1 BIT ART AGAIN. HOLY SHIT.
hrokkall · 1 year
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Speak no ill of the dead
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I ranked all of the obey me songs so here are my rankings + my opinions
sorry for large wall of text idk how tumblr works tbh
25th: Our Destiny- Solomon
I listened to this song like once and then never again
This song is so bad I’m sorry
I can see why I never touched this song again after it came out oh my god
24th: On Your Way- Demon Brothers
Roblox Tycoon Music
First time listening and it’s eh
Yeah no I don’t like it
23rd: My Wish- Luke
I’m so sorry Luke I love you as a son you are my son my boy but this song just ain’t it
Sounds like a youtube gachatuber intro song
This song is not good I have nothing else to say
22nd: Telepathy- Beel and Belphie
Honestly I’ve never really liked this song
It’s cute but it’s just not my thing
Somehow I forgot Beel and Belphie were twins. I don’t know how but I did
SATOSHI ONISHI
Yeah I don’t really have much to say
21st: Arcadia- Lucifer
The guitar here is tasty
I don’t like the voice distortion. Also Lucifer sounds weird in some parts
I don’t really like the music after the first chorus. It sounds like it belongs somewhere else than in his song
I forgot how high-pitched Lucifer sounds here, it’s not a bad thing though it’s just a bit jarring
I don’t hate this song as much as I used to though (I think)
20th: It’s My Party- Demon Brothers
I forgot if this is the opening or the ending song
It’s a nice song I guess
The chorus hits but everything else misses
19th: Choose Me- Mammon, Levi and Asmo
Ah yes, the unfortunate leftovers forced to sing together (because Beel and Belphie have their twin dynamic and Lucifer and Satan have that hatred or whatever, if that makes sense)
This song is alright? I used to like it a lot more but now it’s just kinda bad
One of those songs that’d be overplayed on the radio that I would get sick of very quickly
I thought Asmo had an extra finger on the cover art
18th: Trigger- Levi, Asmo and Beel
The leftovers forced to sing together part 2 (Why are Levi and Asmo in both leftover songs)
When did this song come out (it came out today)
I don’t like this song much
Actually I lied it’s okay (I guess)
Why does Beel sound like the butler guy from Paradox Live
17th: Question Love- Simeon
Simeon my boy what did they do to you
I used to hate this song but it slowly grew on me
Another overplayed radio song
The cover art holy shit
Please give Simeon another character song Yu Hirata slayed but the song does him so dirty
Simeon sounds like his voice has been heavily autotuned(?)
16th: Are You Ready?- Mammon
Mammon sounds like he’s talking for most of the song (if not, all of it)
Rather than being an overplayed radio songs, it sounds like one of those gems that gets played once a month on the radio
This song is nice
15th: Rock On!!- Lucifer and Mammon
I actually like this song
I didn’t expect to like it as much as I do
I have nothing else to say
14th: With You- Demon Brothers
A slow song
I like this one
I also have nothing else to say really
13th: Dreamscape- Belphie
I love Satoshi Onishi btw his voice is so nice
This song is like a breath of fresh air and I love it
I don’t have much to say about this song other than I love Satoshi Onishi’s voice
12th: Take It Easy- Satan and Belphie
I like this song way more than I thought I would
This song is a huge vibe
11th: Read My Heart- Satan
It’s a nice and calming song, like Belphie’s, it’s a breath of fresh air
Shinya Sumi did such a great job here
I’m such a huge sucker for slow songs
Refreshed my brain thank you Satan Obey Me
10th: Eternal- Demon Brothers
Another breath of fresh air
I really like how this one sounds
This was my first time listening to this song and I really liked it!
It reminds me of when I cried to an a3 song (the slow song where every actor sings)
If I was deep into my Obey Me phase still I probably would’ve cried to this song today
9th: No.1- Diavolo
I went insane when this song came out
I was so happy to see that the side characters were getting songs that I exploded into a million pieces
I replayed the trailer so many times the full version did not disappoint
King
8th: My Chance!- Levi
I love the music in this song, it sounds like it belongs in a game
If I recall, Satoshi Kada didn’t really have much singing experience prior to this song
BUT HE ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS!!
This song has made me cry before
Leviathan my scrunkly
7th: Hungry Six Pack- Beel
GOD I LOVE SONGS LIKE THIS
This was the first song to come out after I got into Obey Me (January 2021) so it’s special to me in some way
I love how in some parts Beel sounds kind of desperate to get rid of his hunger, really adds more to him and his character
What kind of title is ‘Hungry Six Pack’ though 🤨
6th: Pomade- Asmo
I love Miura Ayme he solos
I’ve probably also cried to this song before
Sounds like an idol boy song that i’d hear 200+ times but actually like
Yes hit those high notes!! Pop off!!
Would anyone believe me if I said Asmo is my favourite demon brother
Ugly crying to his song rn (help me)
5th: Passion- Lucifer and Satan
I remember wanting this song to be a heavy metal duet . It’s not but I still like it
I think I went insane when this song came out
Such a banger
I think my dad likes this song
They harmonise so well!!
4th: Sinful Indulgence- Miura Ayme
THIS SONG IS SO GOOD FOR AN OPENING
I wish more people would listen to Miura’s songs it’s just banger after banger
I think my parents like this song
This song goes so hard Miura Ayme never misses
3rd: Celestial Ray- Miura Ayme
I did not know Celestial Ray was an Obey Me song
THIS SONG IS SO FUCKING GOOD
The slow part!! Before the chorus!!!!
Miura Ayme has never missed part 2
2nd: Loveless- Miura Ayme
Three Miura Ayme songs back to back
God I love Miura Ayme’s songs
I’ve cried to this song
IT’S SO FUCKING GOOD
Ugly crying at the chorus
Obey Me devs please let Miura Ayme make more songs for Obey Me. They all go so hard
THE SLOW PART OH MY GOD more ugly crying
1st: Crazy About You- Barbatos
I went fucking INSANE when the trailer for this song dropped
IT’S SUCH A GOOD SONG
God that chorus HITS. IT’S SO GOOD
I am the Barbatos Fan ever!!
I replayed the trailer for this song so many times when it came out
THE WHISPERING
This song sent me to the ER from how good it is
THE GUITAR SOLO??? HELLO?????
They should give Barbatos another solo song he slayed fr
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writemywaytoyourheart · 9 months
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Oh my god…I just read chapter 12 and I CANNOT I REALLY NEED TO WRITE THIS ONE OUT 😭😭 CHIP IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY BUT THE WAY THIS LITERALLY RIPPED ME APARTTTT THE PAIN IS TOO GOOD 🥲
Your story writing and symbolism never ceases to amaze me. The bits and pieces of significant object or events that references the earlier parts of the story and makes the pieces fall into place are so DELICIOUS like idek any other word for it because it’s just so *chefs kiss*
I’m just gonna point out a few I’ve noticed because it’s honestly wrecking me internally so much and I need you to know that 🫵🏻🫵🏻🫵🏻💖
1) THE FIRE
The way demon Jungkook just spawns these little flames out of nowhere and MC is like ??? But it turns out it’s just smth he’s been doing THEIR WHOLE FRIENDSHIP TOGETHER AS A WAY TO CALM HER ANXIETY LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT ONE RUN ME OVER WITH A CROP DUSTER
2) THE VASE
that little vase that Taehyung gifted her after her miscarriage that she smashed 😭😭 why just whyyyyyyy stop making these little objects the cause of my mental breakdown (jk ily and your stories 🥺)
3) THE TREE SCENE
I’m not exactly too sure on this one tbh but that scene when she was in hell and weeping over the forest as she hugged the tree, was that supposed to represent the imaginary friend she had been talking to all along? Or did it remind her of them? But still the chills 😩 also I wasn’t sure if that little girl she saw in the tunnel was supposed to be some evil version of her daughter 👁️👁️ but also was her daughter actually her daughter or an Angel that took on the form of her daughter
4) DEMONS AND THEIR DEMON BUSINESS
THAT CHAPTER WAS JUST A HUGE RECALL TO AN EARLIER SCENE IN THE STORY, when demon JK made a deal with a woman but her partner ended up dying. It’s almost like they intentionally give them hope only to crush it and take it away from them, even more so because it’ll be too late and they can’t do anything having given their soul. The event of MC being cured only for her to become sick not long after and dying are literally paralleled with that woman, only with JK being the demon. But also FUCK Jisoo and that stank ass kid I could never be as kind and gentle as MC like YOURE ON YOUR MFKN OWN 👋
5) LUCIFER
The way I KNEW that he was gonna be the one to make the deal with Jungkook like THE SECOND THAT SLUT WALKED IN AND YOU DESCRIBED HIS TATTOO ANSJDJKFJF
5) THE KISS
oh god I saved the best for last… this one broke me because I KNEW IT I KNEWWWW THE SECOND MC WENT LIKE “is that all I get? ☺️” MY SOUL WAS GONNA BE BLENDED, JUICED AND THROWN DOWN THE SINK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 AND THATS NOT EVEN THE WORST PART, BECAUSE THAT DIRECTLY TIES INTO WHY ANGEL MC STOPPED DEMON JK FROM KISSING HER HOLY SHIT YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND 😭😭😭 THE WAY I STARED INTO SPACE FOR A WHOLE MINUTE WITH WATERY EYES 🥲🥲 her going “not yet” and him being confused asF. SHE WANTED TO BE ABLE TO FINALLY KISS HIM AS JUNGKOOK, HER LOVER, WHEN SHE SUCCEEDED IN REACHING THE FLAME
That took so much out of me omg 🧌 I really hope I’m not bothering you with my essays 😭 I typically do this when I read writings that have a lot of puzzles and important details like just add my little thoughts and things I love- there’s a term for it but it’s slipping my mind 😭 ty so much for gifting this amazing work of art for us to read 💖
HAHAHA I love how enthusiastic you always are 😭 it's amazing 💝
There's a lot to unpack here!! Let's do it^^
1. THE FIRE:
I'm so glad you picked up on that!!! LOL run me over too while you're at it 😭 🔥
2. THE VASE:
Yessss Tae's wedding gift 🥺 again I am so so glad that you recalled her smashing it 💔 that hurted me to write ngl 😔
3. THE TREE SCENE:
This is actually a really cool theory! The tree actually represents someone who committed violence against oneself. It's part of Dante's Inferno with my own little twist. Our lil angel just felt grief for the soul 💔
THE TUNNEL and BABY ANGEL: Again, another cool theory! The demon in the tunnel is just a demon tho! It was briefly mentioned on kookies 17th birthday that she was spooked in the woods. I didn't find it necessary to go all into that since it was just a ghost story that was explained in the tunnel :) Basically it was one of Apple's childhood fears that manifested in the tunnel 🥲
As for the two scenes with the angel that looks like Aera, it is her! Sweet baby girl is an angel now 💞😇
4. DEMONS AND THEIR DEMON BUSINESS:
Babe you hit the nail right on the head!!!! Ahhhhh I'm so so glad you mentioned it! I was hoping that came across, we'll get more into it in future chapters as well 😫 as for Jisoo, fuck that bitch. Her poor lil boy tho, hims didn't do nothin wrong 😭 but fair enough!!!
5. LUCIFER:
Yeah fuck that bitch ass ugly ass hoe 🖕🏻🤢
6. THE KISS:
STOP IT IT'S TOO SOON EVEN FA ME 😭😭
Thank you so so much for sending this! I truly truly LOVE seeing what you have to say and your theories and takes on different scenes, I always look forward to it!!
I hope you have the loveliest day 💖💖
ILY 🔥
-chip
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fitrahgolden · 11 months
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Next, I tried writing a bit more of There's a world you need to know. Here goes. Like with Lilies and Soap, I'll probably just post scenes haphazardly and erratically and out of order. Fun, right?
Hope you enjoy.
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There's A World You Need To Know: 1 - Not Really Sure How To Feel About It
"Mother, who is that in there with Greg and Hy?"
"Oh! That's Kate. She's the children's new music and art therapist."
"...music and art therapist..."
"Don't start. I had a meeting with their teachers--"
"When was this? Why wasn't I there?"
Violet blinked at him. "I'm capable of tending to my children's education without you, Anthony. I am their mother, after all."
Anthony pinched the bridge of his nose. Not the time, he reminded himself. Not the time.
"I apologize. That's not what I meant to imply. What did their teachers say?"
"The children have been... talking a lot. About their father. And Hyacinth in particular has been withdrawn lately. Both of them have been receiving lower marks--"
"Then we'll replace their tutors."
"That's not the problem, Anthony. We're actually quite lucky that Ms. Sharma was available. She comes highly recommended. She works with several students at Hyacinth and Gregory's school and all over Kent."
Kate Sharma, was it? Right. 
Anthony didn't think he looked particularly imposing as he leaned against the wall, waiting for the kids' "therapy session" to be over, but apparently he did as Kate Sharma startled at his presence when she saw him, dropping her bag. They both dove to get it.
"Allow me," Anthony said. It sounded more like an order than an offer.
"No, thanks. I have it," Kate mumbled.
As they stood, Anthony finally got a good look at her face.
"...Yes?"
"Pardon? 
"You're staring at me."
"Oh, um, sorry." He extended his hand.
"Anthony, Viscount Bridgerton."
Kate scoffed but took his hand, shaking briefly but confidently.
"Kate Sharma."
She turned to leave and Anthony felt the inexplicable urge to keep talking to her.
"How, um... did the session, uh, go?"
"You don't have to do this."
"What?"
"I know you think what I do is bullshit."
"No, I don't. I just--"
"It's fine, I'm used to it. Thankfully, it doesn't stop me from being really fucking good at my job. Anyway, your mother warned me about you."
"She--? Right. Um... Sorry, but can I just ask what training you need for this... job?" If any, he added in his head.
Kate rolled her eyes, pulling out a folder and unceremoniously pushing it at him.
"I have degrees in Music, Music Therapy, and Art Psychotherapy. I'm registered with the Health and Care Professions Council and a member of the British Associations of both Art Therapy and Music Therapy."
Anthony flipped through the contents of the folder, everything corroborating what she'd just said. "How old are you?"
"Excuse me?"
He sheepishly handed the folder back. "I'm sorry. You're just very... accomplished. You always carry your credentials with you?"
"When I'm working, yes. Like I said, I'm used to people like you."
"Like me?"
"I really need to go. I have other clients to dupe into giving me money for playing with their children."
"That's not at all--"
She tossed over her shoulder, "Violet seems happy with my work, as do the kids, so I'm afraid you'll be seeing me again, Viscount."
Anthony was sort of dazed. What the fuck just happened?
"Holy shit, was that the Kate Sharma?" Eloise all but shouted.
"The?"
"Of course you haven't heard of her, you uncultured swine. What in the world was she doing here?"
"She's... a child therapist. A... famous one, I guess?" Anthony squinted at his sister.
"Ugh, you're hopeless. She's also the best mural artist this side of London. You've never read My Mother's Daughter?"
Anthony looked back down the hallway where Kate Sharma disappeared. Huh.
The bell rang as Anthony entered Art Blanche and he was already bracing for it.
“Who is that I spy? Lord Anthony Bridgerton descending into the bohemian slums that are my domain?” Benedict’s grin was comically wide as he sat behind the desk in his small art shop.
“Brother, always a pleasure. I was planning on supporting a local family run business, but I can pop down to Waterstones.”
Benedict was already walking over with his arms outstretched. “No! Stay, stay. So, you are looking for a book?” Benedict asked, giving Anthony a bear hug.
“Yeah. Um… My Mother’s Daughter? It’s by–”
“Kathani Sharma, newly employed as the kids’ therapist.” Benedict made his way to the art books section and plucked a copy of Kate’s book from the shelf.
“Right,” Anthony took the book when Benedict proffered it. “Have you met her yet?”
“No, but last time I was home, Greg and Hy were gushing about her. Mother, too. I can’t believe she snagged Ms. Sharma.”
“You sound like Eloise.”
“I’m surprisingly OK with that. So, you’re doing your own research so you can discount art therapy and fire the creative genius?”
Anthony closed the book he’d been flipping through and looked up. “Damn it, can’t I just look into it? Does it not sound a little silly to you? Wait–”
“Right, remember who you are talking to.”
“Anyway, yes, I’m looking into myself.”
“You don’t think mum has? You know you can just let her parent on her own.” Benedict’s tone was kind, but Anthony got defensive anyway.
“Jesus, I know that! That doesn’t mean I want to abdicate all responsibility for the kids’ wellbeing.” He exhaled sharply, looking back down at the book. “I apologize.” Benedict placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder.
“You’re alright. Do your research. But please give her a chance. She’s brilliant.”
“Wait…”
Benedict raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“T. W. Dorset. Tom? She works with Tom? You remember him? We were friends at Oxford.”
“Oh, right! Ha, maybe you should ring him up as part of your recon.”
“I haven’t spoken to him in ages.”
“Well, reconnect with an old mate and use him for your own nefarious intentions.”
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lovely-echoo · 3 years
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Sleepy Bois Inc x FranBow!Reader
In-game AU
Part 1/? Pt.2
Plantonic!SBI x Young!Reader
(10/11 years old)
OneShot/Drabble(?)
Genderneutral reader (they/them) 💜
INFO; If you haven't played or seen game play of Fran Bow then you can skip this if you'd like. If you don't care then go ahead.
Summary; Basically if you've seen/played the game you should know how this goes, you take place of Fran. So you go/went through the same things she did and you still have Mr. Midnight. This takes place while Fran is still in the mental hospital and then got teleported near the SBI.
Honestly I kept thinking about this but was afraid to request it to anyone so I'm doing it my myself-
If I get any info wrong, I'm sorry! I rewatched Markiplier's game play so it shouldn't be way off.
P.s not everything is described the same.
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(^ art by sunquids on twt)
CW/TW: mentions/includes of cussing, gore, death, blood, consumption of medication, sexual assault (brief mentions of Damian/The King)
Fluff/Normal
(Angst if you squint)
How you ended up there - How you met Philza and Technoblade
As you were walking around the hospital, you decided to take a pill to see if it'll help.
You watched as your vision blurred and some sort of demonic noises rang in your ears.
After a few seconds your vision cleared up, you took a look around the front desk.
The once dull and lifeless room had turned into this even duller and just plain deathly like room.
Blood was everywhere, random body parts of babies where thrown around. A skeletal figure was hung with what looked like an umbilical cord wrapped around its thin bones, it was connected to this baby covered by a blue blanket.
Just about everything looked grotesque.
Suddenly the floor ahead of you opened and this slimy black tentacle like arm grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in.
It seemed you may have passed out during your fall because you woke up to the sounds of hissing and supposedly two men.
Oh and let's not forget the killer headache causing the ringing in your ears. :)
You rubbed your eyes as you sat up, the light around you seemed much brighter than before.
You looked at the two men in front of you and then glanced down, you spotted Mr. Midnight!
His fur was spiked up and his ears were flat against his head. He seemed to be trying to protect you from the men.
Ignoring their presence you immediately scooped up your precious fur baby in your arms.
Your mind completely forgot about the fact there are two strange looking men in front of you.
A few droplets of water dripped down your (S/C) cheeks onto your (F/C) shirt/dress.
You started crying, so much happened in a short period of time and you found your cat you oh so desperately tried to find.
It panicked one of the adults. Said adult was an average tall man with slightly longer blond hair than average, he also had a green and white striped bucket hat. But what stuck out the most was the large pair of wings behind his back.
At first you thought that it was your pills fault but everywhere around you looked….
Normal?
It seemed like your meds wore off while you supposedly passed out.
But that doesn’t help or ease you at all. If the side effects wore off then how the hell did he have wings?!
The blond walked towards you slowly, like you were an injured puppy. His blue eyes roamed around your body, as if studying your every mouvements.
The other man who was beside him earlier seemed to tense up and looked at him as if he grew another head. He was on edge you assumed.
But he looked even weirder to you. He had long pink hair tied into a loose braid falling over his shoulder. Was it natural? He also had tusks peeking out from his bottom lip, they were large but not enough to be in the way. His skin seemed to be on the pinker side, it was roughed up with scars and calloused in certain areas. You noticed he had pig ears poking out his crown. Is he a king of sorts? Wait, that reminds you of someome... Oh! The king of course!
Ah yes, the king. You quite missed him actually, he was playful and let you use his cane- sword to get a key. But he didn't know about that part. You wonder if he's doing alright right know, the asylum sucks. And the shadow thing next to him said weird things to. Who exactly is the holy man? Why'd the shadow say he took off his clothes?
You couldn't dwell on it to much as you got distracted by the approaching man.
He reached out his hand to stop the winged male. “Phil-”
But the man named ‘Phil’ interrupted the crowned male by putting up his hand. He stopped his hand and let it limp to his side.
“It’s alright Tech, they seem harmless.” ‘Phil’ reassured, though ‘Tech’ nodded his head with a stern expression. There was still hesitance in his sharp red eyes.
‘Phil’ took the same hand he put up and reached it out to you. A soft and kind look in his eyes, you could’ve gotten lost in them if you weren’t careful.
“You alright there kid?” He asked, crouching down to meet your height from where you sat.
“Y-yeah, I think so…” You winced, your throat was hoarse and dry. You peered at ‘Phil’ as he took out this glass bottle with what you assumed was water.
He handed you the fragile bottle, he saw the look of hesitance in your childlike eyes. But something about them set off alarms in his head, they were dull. There’s nothing wrong with that of course! But they were too dull, at least for a mere kid.
He recognized a glint of trauma in your (Eye Shape) eyes, those beautiful (E/C) orbs had seen something they shouldn’t have. Haven’t they?
“Don’t worry mate, it’s fresh water.” He examined the way you handled the cork, you were inexperienced. He could tell you’ve never needed to do it, but why? It’s really the only way so far to keep water with you.
Did you not have any?
While he was lost in thought, you just had noticed he had an accent of sorts. Nothing wrong with it, you've just never heard of someone with it.
(^ Ignore that if you are british)
While the winged male was off in his own world the piglin hybrid watched as you sniffed the clear liquid in suspicion before letting your cat smell it as if you were looking for their approval.
To his surprise they did give it to you, the black cat nodded it’s head and squeaked out a meow. That strangely sounded like a yes- but he dismissed the thought. Probably was just the voices fucking with him.
You gulped down the water as if you hadn’t had any for months.
‘Why tf are they so desperate-’ ‘lowkey kinda concerned lmao’ ‘they look like they’d be an orphan tho’ ‘lmao maybe’ ‘idc about the kid, i want the cat’ ‘absolutely-’ ‘Nah fuck the cat, im allergic.’ ‘lol and?’ 'PFT ANY ASKERS???'
Those were all different voices speaking and overlapping each other.
Technoblade sighed as he glanced at his father, he knew him on the back of his hand. He let him be and slowly walked next to Phil and kneeled down.
“What’s your name kid?” he asked, taking the empty bottle you had handed him. “(Y/n), (Y/n) (L/n)/Bow.” You bluntly answered, looking at him in the eyes. He noticed how bloodshot they were, I mean you did cry not even 5 minutes ago.
"What's yours?" You questioned tilting your head a bit in the process.
Unbeknownst to you, some voices in a certain someone's head were losing their shit, squealing and chanting ‘protecc tiny bean’ over and over again.
"The name's Technoblade, but you can call me Techno." Strange name in your book but your not the one to judge. You simply nodded your head in acknowledgement.
"That guy is Philza, but you can call him Phil." He pointed his thumb to the unfocused man. Technoblade or Techno- cleared his throat.
“You’ve got somewhere to stay? Where are your parents?” “Why can’t you mind your business?”
Techno’s eyes twitched in annoyance and his teeth clenched to hold back any crude words.
Although he noticed the flash of pain in those dull (E/C) orbs of the mentions of your parents.
He sighed once again, something you noticed he did a lot. At least, so far he did.
“Look kid, do you have a place to stay or not?”
And that's how you ended up meeting your new family. . . <3
I may include a taglist if anyone's up to be tagged lmao
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90stvshowgoth · 3 years
Text
—BREAKING & ENTERING
—ch.1 —ch.2
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summary: after dabi was seen leaving your apartment complex last week, the commission has sent a lesser known hero to help guard the building until new cameras are installed. however, no security measures in the world could keep dabi out.
w/c: 5064
tags: dubcon, cuckolding, creampie, voyeurism, humiliation, exhibitionism, arson
a/n: this is the final chapter to this little duology, and the reason why its so much shorter is because the first one was really supposed to stand on its own, but i got so many requests for a sequel i couldn’t help it. so i just took the kinks i didn’t get to use last time and pay off some setup and voila. however, just ‘cause this is the last chapter of this story doesn’t mean i’m not gonna write a fuck ton of other stuff for him. ily burn man. plus i’m working on a huge, multi-chapter fic for him while i post smaller one-shots >:) that being said, enjoy.
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The impact Dabi left on your life was far bigger than you thought it would’ve been on the night you snuck him away from the law. As he was running from the cops someone saw him climb through your window, and a different person also saw him climb down the fire escape. With witnesses like that, the other tenants were downright furious.
You almost felt bad for the landlord, it wasn’t his fault you were insane enough to willingly let a villain come inside both you and your apartment.
Your landlord and the police department came up with a solution. The apartment complex would be installing new state-of-the-art locks on all fire-escape adjacent windows free of charge. This wasn’t exactly an issue with seeing Dabi again, since all you had to do was purposefully leave yours unlocked.
It would take two weeks to install all the cameras, but until then, a community-assigned hero would be stationed to guard the complex.
His name was Kao, a middle-ranked hero with bright orange hair and a winning smile framed with dimples. At first you thought he might’ve been one of the better heroes, waving you off to work and walking you there the other day, but recently he’d begun to creep you out. The friendly conversations about a tv show you both enjoyed began to turn into invasive questions about your love life.
A week of lingering glances and uncomfortable prying culminated that Friday as he had flat out asked you to dinner moments prior.
“C’mon, I just— I said that wrong, lemme try again,” He stuttered, keeping pace with you as you marched towards the building.
“No, Kao, look, you’re cool and all, but I’m really not looking to date anyone right now.” You huffed, striding into the doorway and towards the elevator. That might not’ve been the whole truth but you obviously couldn’t tell him that you had the hots for a terrorist.
He groaned, rubbing the back of his neck, “Well you just got off work, right? I remember which room you stay in, maybe I can swing by tonight?”
You whirled on him, your jaw slack in shock at the insensitivity of his words. The reminder that he knew where you lived sending a shiver down your spine, “Kao, this conversation is done. I don’t want you following me around anymore, hero,”
Deep down, your words sounded familiar. If they were raspier and said behind a thin veil of indifference, you might’ve realized that you were talking like Dabi.
“What is that supposed to mean? We’re the good guys!” You slammed your fist down on the close-door button, your mouth a thin line, daring Kao to make a move and stop the doors. He didn’t, and soon the reassuring pull of the elevator set your shaking body at ease.
‘Who does he think he is?’ You were bitter, rightfully so, you think.
You were so frustrated that you had difficulty inserting your keys into the lock, twisting it with a growl and throwing open the door, ready to collapse onto your pillow and vent to whoever was online about your heroic stalker.
When you noticed the scent of cigarettes in the air.
“Hey, doll,” Warmth surged through your chest at the sight of him, the villain’s feet kicked up onto the coffee table.
You were hanging your coat on the hook before moving beside him to the couch, “What took you so long?”
“Not happy to see me? You seem a lot bitchier than I remember,” The crude edge of his humor was a breath of fresh air compared to the stifling niceties of work, and you smiled for what felt like the first time that day.
Shaking your head, you toed out of your boots and made your way to the frayed couch, “I’ll tell you all about him,”
That got his attention, “Him?”
“A hero,” Dabi’s frown worsened, an accusatory look in his eyes, “before you ask, no, you idiot, I hate this guy, there’s not a chance I’d sleep with him.”
The tensity in his shoulders relaxed, bring the half-finished Newport to his lips as you continued, “Since you broke in last week all my neighbors lost their shit. They threatened to sue if my landlord didn’t assign a hero to watch the building for a bit. I thought he was cool, but I’ve just decided that he’s a total prick.”
He hummed, nodding understandingly, “Want me to kill him?”
You gaped, hitting him on the chest, “Wha—No, Dabi, what the hell?”
He just shrugged, the intensity of his words almost funny to you, and as you recounted the last twenty minutes the ashes of Dabi’s cigarette fell to the floor. The dying lights of the sun streamed through your window, the smoke oddly beautiful in the glow as he handed you the last hit of his cheap cigar.
“You know why heroes are like that?” You shook your head, enjoying the numbing calm of tobacco, “It’s cause they’re spoiled. They go their entire lives being praised for everything they do so they don’t know how to take no for a fuckin’ answer,”
Apparently your smoking buddy was feeling talkative, much to your delight. His words made you pause, remembering the relieved faces of your neighbors whenever they’d see the gaudy costume Kao wore as he strode by.
“Shit... guess you’re right,” You mumbled into his side, not minding the ever-present aroma of burnt skin and smoke that clung to Dabi’s coat.
He scoffed, “I’m always right, baby,” His words earning him a pinch on the arm.
“No, you ass, just about the hero stuff,” He grinned, the staples on his dimples taut against his skin as he pulled you closer, his breath hot against your ear.
“Careful, doll, you’re starting to sound like a villain,” The drop in your stomach sent heat down your skin, yet somehow you were still shivering under his predatory gaze.
You shook your head, trying to will away the red that dusted your cheeks, “No way, my quirk isn’t strong enough to be a villain,”
He raised his eyebrow expectantly, broadly gesturing for you to go on.
“Well...” God, why is this embarrassing? “I can give people headaches.”
You didn’t know if he would laugh at you or belittle you for your meaningless quirk, but he did neither.
“Think you could practice it more? Get better at it?” He was serious, staring at you and expecting an answer.
You looked away, unable to hold his gaze, “I mean, maybe? It’s not hard to do, I guess,”
Dabi smirked, pulling you onto his lap. It felt as if the week hadn’t happened at all and you were right back where you started, your face flushing at the memories of that night. He dragged you close, eyes dark as he whispered something into your ear...
“Think you could split someone’s head open with a migraine?”
Your gut wrenched, flinching at the gory idea and making you sit up in Dabi’s lap. The atmosphere in the room hadn’t changed, his stare as menacing as before.
That is, until he started to crack up. Louder than you’d ever heard before, his fit filled the apartment until he had to cup his stomach from laughing too hard; the wheeze in his rough throat echoing around the room as your blush spread all the way down your neck.
“Oh, you asshole!” If anything, your shove against his chest only made him more giddy. The panic-fueled adrenaline was still surging through your body, unwillingly making the wetness between your thighs spread, even as you tried to wrap your head around the fact that Dabi had been fucking with you.
Your legs shook as he held on to you for balance, his cackling dying down but the shit-eating grin never leaving his face, “You were so freaked out, huh?”
“Yeah, no shit!”
He hummed, running a hand through your hair and suddenly yanking you forward, basking in the sharp yelp it brought from you, “You’re cute when you’re scared,”
You’d missed the way his scabbed lips felt on yours more than you’d ever admit. There was something about him that left you breathless, eager and questioning your life choices. Groaning into his mouth before pulling back and laving your slick tongue along his disfigured lower lip, you rolled your aching heat against him to force a truly pornographic moan from his mouth.
“Oh, fuck—” One of his hands slid down your back, grabbing your ass through your jeans, “Fucking hell, you missed me that much?”
You nodded dumbly into his shoulder, pressing chaste kisses along the ragged skin as he slid his finger past the band of your jeans, cupping your dripping sex with wide eyes.
“Goddamn, s’no way you’re this wet for me already,” His eyes were scrutinizing, trying to figure out why you were hiding into his neck, “What’s got you so worked up, doll?”
You couldn’t come up with a good excuse in time, Dabi thinking back to how your thighs had tightened up when he asked if you could kill someone, your eyes were frightened back then, yes, but there was something else. Something you wouldn’t tell him.
When the realization hit him, it hit hard.
“Holy shit, you get off on being scared?” He couldn’t believe his luck, the embarrassed groan you buried into his shoulder confirming his suspicions.
Dabi ran a hand through his hair, a childish wonder over his features, “Aren’t I fuckin’ lucky?” He sneered, pulling you back til you were at eye-level again.
“I’m gonna try something, baby,” there was an edge to his voice as he settled one hand on the small of your back, pressing your tits against his chest as he held your bra strap back with the other.
“What are you… Dabi, what are you doing?” The scent of fire and burning fabric filled the air, the ends of your bralette smoking between his fingertips, embers turning to ash and sprinkling down the couch until it was flimsy enough for Dabi to rip free, teeth sinking into your neck as he held you still to keep your skin safe.
It was jarring and a bit terrifying to be restrained against someone like Dabi without knowing his intentions. But nothing in you could deny the blinding rush of pleasure it ripped down your spine.
“It’s all starting to make sense, doll-face, I guess I was right the first time,” His hands tossed the smoking bra into hallway, reaching between you and torturously pinching and pulling on the rosy blush of your tits, “you do have a thing for villains,”
“Can’t wait to fuck that tight pussy again, doll,” Without warning he shoved your torso forward, your body bouncing against the couch, his hands flying to the button of your jeans.
“—Didn’t have time to take you right last time, didn’t get to taste you,” his words made you whimper in his grasp, keeping your legs somewhat raised as tugged down the tight denim.
You fully expected him to take you rough like before, make you choke on his cock before having his fill, but as he tugged off your black panties he crawled down the trembling body beneath him, slowly moving over your ribs, your stomach, and finally your drooling cunt.
He never broke eye contact with you as he pulled your thighs closer, keeping them spread wide as the hot fan of his breath on your pussy sent a thrill through your neglected nerves.
“I want you to scream my name,” It was an order, not a request. The unhinged tremor in his hands was unsettling, an unspoken threat hanging in the air.
Dabi’s tongue immediately found your clit, mouth wrapping around the glistening bead and sucking all at once, the moan it drew from your lips unholy. He moaned at the taste, hiking up your hips onto his shoulders.
“Christ, you’re sweet, doll, like fuckin’ candy...” He muttered in disbelief, more to himself that to you, licking a wide stripe along your drenched lips, diving into you deep enough to have your limbs spasming around him.
On instinct your hand flew to your mouth to muffle the sharp cry that the villain drew. He didn’t warn you before bringing his hand up high and slapping it into the bare skin of your thigh, a scream echoing through the living room. Distantly, you wondered if your neighbors could hear...
“Don’t you dare hide a single sound from me, slut, or this ends now,” his ultimatum was scary but the insult felt heavy in a way you’d never felt before, and you nodded without a second thought, breathlessly bunching one hand into the arm of the couch above you and the other into the ashy black of his hair.
You nodded down to him, silently saying to continue; the villain fixed on watching as your chest swelled in time with your breathing, a rush of blood going to the heat of his cock.
His pace was hungry, nipping at your thighs whenever he thought you were too comfortable, spinning circles into your clit with his tongue and chuckling at the noises it brought, “You gonna cum, princess?” You could only respond with a scream of his name, the plea music to his ears, but he needed you to be louder if he was to get what he wanted.
“Louder,” Dabi called your name like a prayer, moaning into your cunt as you practically suffocated him between your thighs, “Fuck—Louder, baby, scream it,”
“Dabi!!” Your orgasm was hot against his tongue and he drank in every last drop of your climax until you were wrenching away his greedy mouth, your pussy swollen and red from his care.
Just as you started to compose yourself, a frantic banging sounded on the door. Someone from the hallway was slamming down their fist, screaming your name.
“Hey! Did you just say Dabi?! Are you okay in there?” It was Kao.
Horror clawed away any kind of afterglow as you cupped your hand to your mouth, leaning up on your elbow and whispering, “What do I say?”
Dabi’s voice was just low enough to hide behind the pounding of Kao’s fists, “Do you trust me?”
Before you could answer the hero behind the wall called your name again.
“If you don’t answer me in five seconds I’m breaking this door down!”
Your gaze flickered from the front door to the villain that was wiping your slick from his chin.
“Yes,”
Dabi grinned, grabbing your wrists and holding you against his shirt, one hand wrapped painfully around your tits and the other erupting with blue fire in his palm.
“Come and get her, hero!” You made a confused squeal, thrashing around in his grasp, eyes wide and afraid as Dabi shushed into your ear, trying to calm you down.
‘Like hell if you’d calm down, he’d practically just signed your death sentence!’ you heaved against the fugitive, trying to shake yourself free to no avail.
All you could do was squeeze your eyes shut and imagine you were somewhere else as door was jolted in its hinges, the doorknob falling with a distant clang, and before you could beg Dabi to stop whatever stupid game he was playing, Kao ran into the room, eyes furrowed and fists raised as the door squeaked on the loose hinges behind him, blissfully unaware.
“Where are y—“ Kao’s voice paused mid-sentence, you flinched in Dabi’s hold, the heat of the redhead’s stare washing over you, naked and wet, making you tilt your head down, trying to hide yourself from the world.
“Isn’t she cute, hero?” Dabi rasped against you, the heat of his fire illuminated against the sweaty sheen of your trembling body. Kao didn’t know what to do, flustered and struggling to hide the tent in his latex costume.
You knew fighting back against the villain was pointless, falling limp in the strength of his arms as he chuckled into your neck, looking over at the bump in his pants, “You were right, babe, I think he likes you,”
“Get your filthy hands off of her!” Kao screamed, diving towards the couch with his fist raised back.
Dabi simply grinned, carefully hovering his flame ever closer to your now bare tits, you couldn’t help but scream at the proximity, and whatever plan Kao had in his mind died before his fist could make impact.
His novocaine laced voice spoke calmly beside your ear, “Any closer and she’s dead,” The hot rush down your legs wasn’t due to his flames, as one hand took to rubbing your sensitive sex, the sounds it elicited from you unintentional and mortifying under the presence of Kao in the room.
“What... what do you want, you bastard?” Dabi laughed at that one, tweaking your clit between his fingers and conducting the most beautiful notes from your pillowy lips.
“I think It’s pretty obvious what I want, don’t you think?” Your name on his lips sent you keening against him despite the inferno roaring inches away from your skin. He couldn’t move without Dabi’s flames hovering ever closer to your heaving chest, and to Kao, you were very clearly about to die. Although you didn’t believe Dabi would hurt you, he had asked you to trust him before he got Kao’s attention, after all, the line between foreplay and conflagration was becoming blurry.
Kao backed up into the half wall that separated the living room from the kitchen, barely making an effort to try and hide his erection anymore, “I’ll send you to fucking Tartarus for this, Dabi.”
“Oooo, scary,” His unlit hand trailed down your jawline, tilting you to his side until he could slide his tongue into your open lips, humming into your mouth, “What do you think, doll?
“Dabi, please... wait,“ The strength in your voice wasn’t as heated as before, and even you had to admit it sounded half-assed.
Kao’s quirk must be no good for long range because all he could do was stand there, trying to avert his eyes from your drooling cunt in favor of glaring daggers at the coy villain pulling soft mewls from your lips, “I swear... I’ll see you rot in prison for this. You’ll be fucking executed, you rapist—“
“—woah, woah, that stings, hero. Doll, is that really what I’m doin’?” You groaned, not exactly answering because you couldn’t hear the question, your eyes still shut tight in embarrassment.
The growl in his voice sent another soaking rush towards your pussy, as his hand grabbed you jaw, pulling you up, “Look at me,” Your eyes widened at the sight of Dabi so close to you, his chest warm against your back, the aches of your last orgasm fading into something new.
“Tell me to stop, princess, your call,” Time stood still as Dabi kissed a soft pathway along your neck, weirdly gentle as he listened for your response, his clothed hard-on pressed firmly against your ass.
Too flustered to speak, you merely wrenched your arm free from his grasp, carding you hand through his hair and pulling him to your desperate lips. You could feel him tug into a smirk against you as your hips eagerly ground themselves on him despite the audience.
Kao choked on his own spit, stepping backwards, but stopped when Dabi aimed his ignited hand towards the hero who was having difficulty piecing together your actions in his head. “What,” His voice cracked when he called out your name, “are you...?”
Dabi pulled away, a feral glint in the blue hidden beneath his hair as he licked a disgustingly wet stripe along your cheek, chest rumbling behind you as you squirmed at the gross feeling, “I’m still gonna need you to beg, sweetheart.”
Your dignity was hanging by a thread, hinging on whether or not you followed his lead, but the insane buzz your anxiety had stirred up under Kao’s confused stare and Dabi’s aching cock was impossible to ignore. He rut himself into the dripping curve of your ass, his jeans soaked with your slick as you found the courage to speak.
“Fuh...” Carefully, Dabi pressed a loving kiss to your temple, his stare fixated on Kao’s as you strung the syllables together, “Fuck me, Dabi,”
The hero couldn’t believe his ears. She’d turned him down countless times despite his pursuits, yet she was somehow fine with this? Kao briefly thought that perhaps his crush was a villain this whole time, but that couldn’t make sense with her weak quirk.
You felt Dabi twitch beneath you, the shameless way you showed yourself off was as humiliating as it was hot, and he laughed in lightheaded disbelief against the back of your neck, taking your ass in one hand and slipping the other down his pants, tugging off the painful metal zipper until his boxers were pulled down just enough for his cock to finally be met with the soft warmth of your cunt.
“As the lady commands,” Dabi grinned, reaching around your waist to take his pierced dick in his hand, rubbing and tapping his swollen head deliberately against your clit, pre-cum drenching your pussy as you felt boneless in his arms.
“Ah-! St..S-top tea-sing, Dabi!” You babbled, squirming to try and find an escape from his grasp or maybe trying to force him inside you, but all your struggling did was make him harder. But before you could beg, you froze at the sight of Kao a few feet away, his legs bending into a sprinter’s pose. He was going to run?
Dabi was having none of it, a controlled jet of flame grazing Kao’s knee, scalding the skin beneath the latex. The hero cried out into the bite of his fist, collapsing into the wall a few feet away.
“Nah, hero. You’re not leaving just yet,” The villain rearranged you on his lap, “See, the thought of you jerking off to my girl? It kinda pisses me off, actually,”
The color in Kao’s face drained as he had no choice but to sit and watch as Dabi slowly sunk you down on top of him, one hand drawing soft circles into your stomach as you reveled in the feeling of his piercings hot against every part of you.
“Though, I’m wondering, what did you think about, huh?” Kao sputtered, unable to form words just like you, formless noises falling from your lips.
His scarred hands grasped at the flesh of your thighs, raising you up only to shove you back onto his cock, the flames that still extended to threaten Kao suddenly flared up in time with his thrusts, the weight of him felt so much deeper at this angle and it was hard to breathe, let alone speak.
“I... nothing! I didn’t—“ Another whip of fire cut through the room from Dabi’s fingertips, a cast of blue leaving bubbling skin in its wake, pain flashing across Kao’s face.
“Fuckin’ liar,” You yelped as Dabi shoved you down, moaning into your ear as you squeezed against him, sobbing his name into his chest as he picked up a steady pace in your guts.
Kao cried out, stuttering and gripping along the inflamed line of skin, “I-I thought— thought about her... fuck— I just wanted her to suck me off, alright? There, I said it! Are you happy now?”
He must’ve realized the mistake in his words as soon as he said them, squeezing your eyes shut but having no choice but to smell the stench of burning flesh and hear the sound of muffled screaming as it filled your apartment, “Can’t blame you though, her mouth is God,”
Your hands scrambled for balance against Dabi as the screaming of his victim made him downright feral, filling your tight heat so well it had you crying.
“Damn, you’re soaked for me, doll, I just knew you were a kinky fuck deep down. You’re a slutty little girl for me, aren’t ya?”
As much as it hurt to admit it, he was right. He was painfully right, and you told him so. The unhinged, unstoppable force that was Dabi ignited a passion in you that’d never been fed before. He was torturing the hero you hated all while taking your cunt in deep, harsh thrusts, the metal imbedded into his cock and his chest behind you were blisteringly hot against your skin.
“Tell him, baby,” His question fell on deaf ears, your tongue lolling from your mouth a bit at the pleasure.
It caught you off guard when he drew his hand back and slapped you across the cheek, a blistering red handprint in its wake, saying your name so softly, turning off his quirk to run his hands through your hair, he whispered, “Tell that fucking hero who you belong to,”
The world tipped over as Dabi gripped your shoulders, pushing you onto the wooden coffee table so your ass stuck in the air. In an instant he was on you again, pounding into your cunt with a glazed fervor, your words downright biblical in his ears.
“On-ly... Dabi ca—Ngh, Only Dabi can fuck me this good,” You forced the words from your throat, thankful for the table serving as an impartial shoulder to cry on as Dabi lined himself up with your cunt.
“More, princess,” The snap of his hips had you drooling onto the table, catching sight of Kao’s slumped body in the corner as Dabi’s breath sounded much louder than before.
“Fuck, baby—” You cried, craning your neck back to look at him. Sweat glistened at the crown of his dark hair, steam shading his breath as he took you hard, “Your cock is— shit its so deep in me,”
Your nerves were spent from exhaustion as he railed you, being more vocal than before as he choked at the feeling of your walls tightening around him, his fingernails digging future bruises into your hip dips, “Wanna feel you cum in me, want you to fill me up— Dabi, wanna make you feel good,”
“Fuck, doll, I can’t...” He ground his teeth together, making you squeal as he mounted you from behind, spreading your legs out wide so you had no way to hide yourself, “Gonna fuck’n cum-gonna cum in you- fuck, fuck, fuck—!“
You both hit your highs at the same time, Dabi accidentally digging your face into the wood as he held you as tightly to him as possible, his cum running hot due to his quirk as he pumped you full, that broken cry of yours like music to his ears, humping you a few times to ride out his climax.
You felt warm and safe, Dabi’s weight a comfortable blanket even with your shivering skin pressed naked into the coffee table. However, the quietly groaning hero in the corner made you quickly come back down to earth.
“Dabi... did you kill him?” Your voice was small beneath him, but he just shrugged.
“Nah, not yet, don’t worry,” He kissed your neck one more time, his thumb rubbing circles into your indented stomach, pulling you off the table and back into his arms.
He pulled out of you and grinned at the sight of his release spilling down your thighs, “Damn...” he whispered, taking in the sight with a satisfied whistle, “C’mon Doll, forget about him.”
You were grateful he carried you bridal style to your bedroom, your legs gelatin at this point, and as he laid you down to rest he grabbed one of your discarded shirts that hadn’t made it to the hamper and wiped down the remains of sex from your twitching cunt before leaving the cum-stained top ignored on the ground.
“You doing good, baby? Didn’t go too hard, did I?” His concern was diminished somewhat by the grin on his face, satisfied with the mumbling, love-drunk form he’d reduced you to.
Shaking your head, you burrowed into the warm blankets, peeking your eyes out from beyond the covers in a way that even Dabi couldn’t deny was pretty cute, “No, just... what are you gonna do with Kao?”
His face was unreadable as he leaned closer, “Do you really want to know?”
Truth be told, no, you didn’t, you were just a civilian, far removed from the complex fight between heroes and villains. You were only in this situation because you’d grown to care about Dabi. In some small, sarcastic way, he’d wormed his way into your life, and he hadn’t hurt you so far, only going as close as possible to bring you over the edge again and again.
“No...”
“Good answer,” he stood up, tucking himself back into his jeans as he went back into the living room. You heard a muffled thud and what sounded like Dabi cursing before he reappeared in your bedroom, Kao’s unconscious body slung over his shoulder. For such a wiry guy, Dabi was pretty strong. Moving to the open window he basically threw Kao’s body onto the outside metal grating, his lungs uneven after carrying him.
Just as he swung his leg onto the windowsill you shot up in your bed, hand outstretched, “Wait!”
He turned back to look at you, genuinely confused as to what you could want.
“Kiss me before you go?”
He froze, then grinned, scoffing at the innocent gesture you gave so openly to a murderer like him. There had to be something wrong with his little villain-in-training to make her okay with it, just like him. Dabi ignored that thought for another day, striding forward and finally giving you the goodbye kiss you’d been denied last time, his tongue trying to map out every detail in case he could ever forget before pulling away with a warm softness to his ocean eyes.
“I think I might be starting to like you, Doll,” A feint rush of color fell on his unmarred skin and you’re sure your heart stopped beating for a good three seconds.
His words were a worn record being played over and over in your head long after he crawled down your fire escape, the teasing, sated haze in his voice hidden beneath a rasp of smoke. You weren’t sure how much he meant what he said, but you’re sure that the first thing you said in return was exactly what he wanted to hear; at least judging from the boyish smile that lit up his face when you said it.
“Come back soon, okay?”
“Okay,”
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@effmigentlywithachainsaw @touyasfatcock @thicchaikyuuboys @awritersometimes @chey-the-simp
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stellocchia · 3 years
Text
I really liked Wilbur's lore stream from yesterday, so you guys are getting a short stream analysis from me
As always dialogue is color-coded: Wilbur, Tubbo, Ranboo
And since I'm the least concise person ever everything is under the cut
The stream is (DSMP LORE) A Year Later
The stream starts with Wilbur singing the L'Manburg anthem to Ranboo. It is interesting to notice that, just like all the streams since he's been back he doesn't start off the stream by addressing chat in any way but already taking with someone in-universe.
"I'm a big big fan of the song (...) (Wilbur notices that Ranboo was muted) so sorry, let's try again: have you heard that song before?" "Yeah I have, I have. I have- I've had a friend that sings it quite a lot" “Good, good, and I was gonna say, it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is Ranboo, right? But the thing is- the thing is Ranboo, right? Is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants" "Oh, to the plants?" "Yeah! In- in the- around the- around the uhm... around the thing! You know the- the caravan? (...) so, my man, Tommy used to sing to the plants to make them grow better and that was the song he used to sing and so I thought what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most- one of the most loyal members or of our fair nation than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little- his little Muse. Tommy is a- Tommy is all of our Muse really I'd say"
I cut as much of this quote as I could while still leaving it well understandable and leaving in everything I wanted to talk about, but man is it long... So let's break it down a bit at a time:
1) The friend that Ranboo referenced that sings the anthem a lot is most likely Tubbo considering that they met him later on in this stream while he was singing that very song
2) The memory of the song seems to still be a particularly pleasant one for Wilbur, which probably explains why Ghostbur as well was so fond of it. He speaks about it positively throughout and it generally seems like an overall positive moment of reminiscence, probably because it's a callback to a simpler time when Wilbur too was, you know, happier overall. It's a reminder of a time before the worsening of his spiral.
3) Also interesting that they kept it in canon that Tommy singing to the plants was what inspired the anthem. Especially because I'm not entirely sure if that's the case considering that the actual anthem wasn't written by cc!Wilbur but by a fan upon his request (obviously this is outside the story).
4) Last thing I wanted to mention was Wilbur describing Tommy as a Muse. Muses in mythology are the inspirational goddesses of the arts, music, and science, Tommy aside from the anthem obviously isn't that. But it is interesting that Tommy does take a central role when it comes to motivating people. We could say that Techno's speech on the 16th was inspired by him since it was directed at him. Similarly, Niki and Jack had their arcs revolving around him. Tommy was able to rally the troops with ease multiple times. And Dream's obsession with him itself is the main motivator for, like, 90% of his actions. So, while he may not cover the role of a muse literally it's not a comparison that is too far off...
They headed to the museum afterward and took notice of the Ranboo poster being missing. And then they headed off to L'Manburg (which, by the way, looks amazing, thank you cc!Phil for that one).
"It goes by L'Manhole now apparently" "I- yeah it's kinda- ugh- I'm not a fan. It's kinda rude to L'Manburg's history, you know? It- it's called L'Manburg. It's called L'Manburg. NOT Manberg, not L'Crater or whatever. L'Manhole, I don't care, it's now L'Manburg, it's always L'Manburg, okay?"
It's interesting that not too long ago he was saying that even L'Manburg itself (with an emphasis on the name) wasn't what was actually important, the purpose of it was. He admits later on that he lied in that conversation, but it's impressive how quickly he trusted Ranboo enough to let him see how much he still cared about L'Manburg when he was so intent on lying about it not too long ago.
Wilbur's enthusiasm about seeing the flag is another nice confirmation about him still caring deeply for his old nation.
"Damn, I really went down to bedrock, didn't I? Holy shit I did- I did a number on this place" (I wonder why Ranboo didn't correct him on this, because Ranboo knows that Techno, Phil, and Dream are the ones who actually exploded the country down to bedrock...)
They end up seeing Tubbo on the other side of the crater and head over to him. While they're heading there Tubbo is singing the anthem himself in a very mournful tone.
One interesting thing that I noticed it's that it's Wilbur that heads towards Tubbo's location instead of having Tubbo go to him like he mostly did with Tommy for example. I suppose it could be because Tubbo having been a president himself is in less of a subordinate position to Wilbur than Tommy who's always been a simple soldier.
"It's like looking in a little mirror, look you're wearing my suit still? How long have you been wearing that?" "Oh I just put it on, just for today" (in a similar fashion to Jack bringing out the L'Manburg uniform to reminisce, Tubbo also brought out clothes he strongly attaches the memory of L'Manburg to)
"Ranboo have you met Tubbo?" "Yeah, yeah. I've- I've met him, I mean we've, uhm... we've been around" (Ranboo still minimizing his relationship with Tubbo to Wilbur. Of course, this is because he doesn't trust him but it's interesting that he isn't even honest about that)
After a bit of back and forth, Wilbur starts apologizing to Tubbo. At first, like most other times he's having a serious discussion he puts himself in an elevated position to tower over Tubbo. It's a neat way to show how his own desire for control affects him, having Wilbur literally elevate himself over others when speaking to them. Literally putting Tubbo down in this situation. Which does make the beginning of his apology very obviously feel insincere.
"I'm sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up and I'm sorry for when I did this *pointing at the crater* and blew all this up and making this whole. I'm sorry that I uh- that I said that you were the president of a crater"
This is that first part of the apology I mentioned. Just to clarify, I don't actually think that it was entirely insincere. It just feels less impactful due to Wilbur putting himself in a position of superiority over Tubbo, especially because it's something we've seen him do before. It's also to be noted that this time, like others before, he seems to be apologizing less out of actual guilt and more out of a desire to earn forgiveness. Which is not a critique by the way. I just feel like that's a misconception Wilbur has, that apologies serve the purpose of confirming to him that he's doing a good job at changing more than to actually make amends for what he's done. The reason why I think that's the case for the beginning part of this apology as well it's because of how fast he went to ask tubbo if he forgave him, which did put a certain level of pressure on Tubbo in this situation.
"I mean it wasn't- this wasn't all you Wilbur" (thank you tubbo for finally dispelling some of those misunderstandings)
"Yeah so me and mainly Ghostbur honestly, like-" "Ghostbur" (some more of Wilbur not being too fond of Ghostbur)
"Right is he [Ghostbur] this obsidian crap then I take it and these- these fucking dumb lanterns up here" (a bit more)
To correct Wilbur's misconceptions Tubbo starts off asking if the other knew Dream, to which Wilbur responds with how much he appreciates Dream and how he's his hero, which makes Tubbo backtrack and blames most of Doomsday on Techno and Phil. Which, as we know, isn't actually accurate and I have a feeling that this misinformation will be harmful later on once Dream is out of prison (though I don't blame Tubbo for backtracking with how enthusiastic Wilbur is, that was the basic conflict-avoidant approach that Tubbo seems to prefer).
"They rained tnt for days" (if this is actually canon then Doomsday was even more of a tragedy than we previously saw it as. It was days filled with fighting and destruction. Then again, Tubbo has misremembered traumatizing events before)
"Techno and Phil, they hated the government. I mean it was partially my fault as well" "But you didn't blow it up" "No I didn't. I would never have wished or anything like this to happen" "So it was just Techno and Phil?" *long pause* "Y-yeees"
Two things to say here:
1) I appreciate someone in canon recognizing that it's not Tubbo's fault for what happened to L'Manburg and blaming the people who actually blew it up, similarly to how I appreciate Wilbur bringing up with Tommy that it was clearly Dream pulling the strings with his exile with Tubbo. It's nice having it stated plainly for people to hear
2) This is the misconception I mentioned. This is most certainly gonna backfire at some point.
After that Wilbur commends Tubbo quite a lot for rebuilding New L'Manburg (once again being dismissive towards Ghostbur) and is clearly enthusiastic about it, even going as far as to say that that mattered more to him than them building him a grave.
"I just, I feel lost without L'Manburg. All my core beliefs, everything died with it" "You feel lost without a nation..." "I have no purpose anymore" "I guess that's where anarchy fails" (I think this may be the first time someone admits it to someone else, even though that lack of purpose and feeling disoriented is very obviously a shared sentiment amongst the ex-citizens)
After that, it's when Wilbur invites Tubbo to join Paradise, the, supposedly burger van with a small house attached to it that wasn't supposed to become a nation. I have a feeling that the proposition coming right after that exchange may imply that Wilbur changed his mind on it. He does purposefully put himself again in an elevated position when making the proposition.
"Would you like to come join me in Paradise? Literally" "Hmmm, I'm not sure Wilbur. I'm not sure I trust you man, I need to- in order to follow someone I need to trust them" "Wait, wait but you- I thought you forgave me! I thought it was, you know it-" "Wilbur I forgive you because I like to hang on to the hope that people can change, but-"
This is what I mean when I say that Wilbur's apologies come with expectations for the person he's apologizing to. By asking Tubbo first if he forgave him when he originally apologized, he already made it harder for Tubbo to refute that. And now we learn that he expected trust to come along with forgiveness. He's not doing this maliciously of course, but he does seem to have some misconceptions on this.
"I know you had that- that at the festival? With Technoblade? I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you" "But you didn't" (other people brought this up, but this is a neat little parallel to the one scene in exile where Ranboo was lamenting about how he should have gone with Tommy and Tommy shut him down pointing out that anyone could have gone but no one actually did)
There is a second round of apologies and Wilbur is still standing higher than Tubbo, BUT he does put himself on his same level after he did a bit more pushing and found that Tubbo was standing his ground. He finally puts himself on the same level as Tubbo and openly acknowledges his boundaries which is the first actual real effort to change that we've seen from Wilbur. Which I'd say is a pretty important step for him.
"Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back you have to prove it, I can't just give it out anymore. I used to be able to but I just- I just can't" (acknowledgement of how Tubbo's trauma also affected him deeply)
"You know I still have dreams, right? Of the explosion. And- and of the fireworks. And- and all of it. I- I still- I vividly see all of it. Every day. It hurts. It hurts a lot Wilbur"
I want to commend Tubbo here for being able to open up like this, especially considering how much he generally leans into denial and how much he usually suppress. And on top of that this is Tubbo acknowledging that both Wilbur's actions (the explosion) and Techno's actions (the fireworks) have hurt him and STILL hurt him and affect him deeply. It's quite a big admission especially for him.
"Sorry feels like such a weak word. I feel like there's nothing stronger that I can say" (first time that he's standing on the same level of Tubbo while apologizing)
"You're so strong man. Genuinely. You just- just the fact that you proved to me just there that you have this memories, that you have this nightmares and you still find it in your heart to forgive me. That's... you're a fucking champion man. You- you're a hero"
It's interesting that the reason why he claims Tubbo to be strong here is because he forgave him. It's not something that's inherently about Tubbo, like the fact that he still found the strength to go on and rebuild after the events he mentioned, for example, no. What Wilbur brought up is the one thing that Tubbo did for him. Which tells me that he still clearly has a bit of way to go to learn how to make amends and how redemption actually works, but, you know, that's to be expected honestly.
Wilbur moves on by inviting Tubbo to at least come and see Paradise, just to see what they'd made and Tubbo refuses because he wanted to spend more time reminiscing. Wilbur this time respect Tubbo's boundaries with no pushing which is yet another step forward for him honestly. Wilbur also gives Tubbo a "lucky rabbit's foot" that Tommy gave him to cheer him up and assure him that he had no problems with him not going.
With this their conversation comes to a close and Wilbur and Ranboo head over to Paradise (though not before Ranboo has confirmed with Tubbo that he actually does want to be left alone).
"You know I was gonna say 'this is hard' but obviously it's hard. I mean, you know, I've..." (a bit of reflection on his actions for Wilbur, you love to see it!)
"It's gonna get better! It's gonna get better! And it's gonna be worth it when I see them smiling. All of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy, anyone!" (I'm pretty sure that this is a genuine sentiment right here. It really does seem that wilbur's Big Plan right now is just to make amends and change)
"Do you know who the original L'Manburg group were? Do you know who we were?" "I- I think most of them yeah... I think it was like: you, Jack, Niki, Fundy I believe as well" "Fundy was a bit after. Fundy was after we'd gotten independence"
I wonder if that's an actual misrememberance on Wilbur's part (c!Wilbur, not cc!Wilbur, I'm sure cc!Wilbur remembers this) or just him wanting to put some distance between his good memories of L'Manburg and Fundy. Because Jack and Niki weren't there for the independence war either and yet he singled out Fundy who was. And I doubt that he'd forget about his son being one of the people who lost their first life in the final control room. In addition to that Wilbur didn't mention Fundy before among those he wanted to make smile.
I really think that this was intentional and that it was because, well, Wilbur felt deeply betrayed by Fundy. And we as the audience know that Fundy only ever publicly stopped acknowledging him as his father to be able to stay undercover as a spy, but he doesn't. It wouldn't be so weird that he wanted to erase Fundy from his memories of the time when he was supposed to be happy.
"I try and keep this on the low because I don't want uh- I don't want people to use it against me is the main problem. I do wa- I didn't even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy" "Yeah?" "I'll be honest I'm gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because if it- it kinda eats away at me. But I told- I told tommy that I didn't actually care about L'Manburg and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain, you know, power and stuff, but it's not- it's not true. L'Manburg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day"
Once again I'm surprised how little it took Wilbur to trust Ranboo with stuff he hasn't really told anyone else. Makes you really understand how low of an opinion of himself he has that when the first person that calls him "alright" out loud just gets his undying trust. Especially considering that Ranboo doesn't trust him back and hasn't been the most honset with him so far. It's also a nice spelled out admission for anyone who didn't get how much Wilbur cares about L'Manburg from the longing look he gave to the camaravan's replica in the stream where he said he never cared.
"I wanted history to live on, not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically took a big shit on the history books it feels like" (just another interesting little insight on Wilbur's view of the situation)
"I've heard about what's Tommy's, you know, moved on... and how jack's moved on, and how Niki's moved on and everyone's moved on from L'Manburg at least partially, but Tubbo man, he's still..." (he only thinks the rest of them moved on because he hasn't spoken almost at all with two of them and he never really listened to Tommy. Also, again, Fundy is not mentioned)
"I don't know where I'd be without you [Ranboo] here right now man, I mean T-Tommy's great and all and he's here but I- I feel like, you know, I don't wanna- I don't wanna string him along too much because he's- I- when I look at him. When I look at him when he's helping me out building things with me I see the same eyes that looked at me when... when... There were some- there weren't some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia. I wasn't a very well man and I can just see Tommy from that day"
This one was one heck of a confession!
I don't know if this is me misremembering, but I'm fairly sure that this is the first time he's admitted to not being great to Tommy specifically. Again, Tommy is the one person he met with so far that he hasn't apologized to. Heck! He told Tommy to his face that him being sorry for his actions didn't mean he wouldn't do them again. It's a pretty damn big admission to acknowledge that that behaviour (which is the same now, if not worse when only related to Tommy) wasn't good. It also shows that he's at least a bit aware of Tommy's emotions which is rarely shown honestly. Though whether he cares because of Tommy or because being around Tommy makes him feel guilty (which is what you'd expect him to feel) and he doesn't like that is to be determined still, mostly just because the phrasing was a bit uncertain at the moment.
"I know what it's like to have no one- or at least feel like no one trusts you. Uhm, and I- I've realized that if- if no one's with you then how can anyone really know when you've redeemed yourself? So that's why I'm here I guess" (Ranboo's answer to why he trusts Wilbur. Which he doesn't, but still)
And the stream ends with Wilbur saying he hopes Tubbo comes around to try out one of the burgers (though he does repeat that he doesn't want Ranboo to pressure him to join) and complimenting Ranboo a bit more.
132 notes · View notes
lvlyhao · 3 years
Text
『you’re dating him but he’s not your bias』
reaction fic; NCT Dream
A/N: this is nct dream’s reaction to realizing your bias is not him (and you’re a couple). gender neutral, got way too deep at some points and was NOT meant to be this long. enjoy.
note that english is my second language and i speak mixing slang, accents and spellings from 3283928 places so i did notice there’s practice written with both s and c down there so
just dont mind it pls
also, today’s photo theme is dream looking cute in low quality shots.
𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡), angst (❆), comedy (☼), crack (⍢).
𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: lots of swearing, my tough love for the neos, one mention of cheating that doesn’t actually happen, a couple of mentions of alcohol and drinking, some violence hidden in metaphors, me being chaotic, it got a bit more angsty and darker than i intended, but we do have all happy endings.
word count: 6.8K
pairing: nct dream members x reader ( includes mark, renjun, jeno, haechan, jaemin, chenle, jisung)
disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.
*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
Mark
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oh, poor baby
i feel like he would be a little heartbroken 
just a little
not so much if it’s someone from dream, because they’re his little brothers, but if it’s one of his hyungs from 127 or wayv,,,,,
boy might cry
he’s not super dramatic about it or anything but i don’t see him as being super confident about himself
so he might think like
“do they think he’s cooler than me?”
and it’s silly, yes, he knows
but it’s just something that pops up in his mind sometimes when you bring him up
so for the sake of this fanfic let’s pretend you’re johnny biased
because gods know i am
at least when it comes to 127
mark would be divided into fanboying with you and being like “YO, HE’S THE COOLEST GUY ON EARTH OH MY GOD I’M SO GLAD YOU AGREE”
and
“a h”
<gives you a little tiny smile to cover up the sound of his heart breaking>
would constantly try to get closer to you when johnny is around, and just
showing off in little (kinda dumb) ways
complimenting you
being even more whipped than usual
like yes he’ll give you all of his watermelon slices just please don’t look at johnny like that again
i think johnny would kind of play into it with the whole “imma steal your s/o” thing
and he doesn’t do it to make mark jealous or hurt
we know he’d rather get hit by a train than ever actually upsetting his son on purpose
but we also know he’s johnny
cue “OH DUDE HE’S FLIRTING”
so yeah he might call you lil pet names (beautiful, cutie, you get it)
just to see you giggle 
(and see your soul leave your body)
might say he’s taking you out for dinner when he’s just driving you to get more ice cream for a movie night with the gang lol
and winks
expect a lot of winks
anywhere and anytime
which makes mark sometimes feel like he’s intruding???
and that you appreciate johnny more than him???
he genuinely doesn’t understand how you can date him and still not have him as your bias
don’t you like, love him above everyone else or smth lol
his “showing off” phase eventually fades tho
now every time you hang you with the boys and johnny is around, he’ll be a bit more distant 
he thinks he’s giving you space to interact with his friends but he’s just shying away from competing with one of his favourite people ever
and it’s a competition that Does Not Exist™
but he’s not 100% aware of that
and you’re not that dense 
so ofc you notice
and you wait till you two are alone to talk to him, and he BEGRUDGINGLY admits that you being johnny biased makes him feel kinda small and unimportant
he’d never try to make you change your bias or anything
he just needs reminders that he’s your #1 boy sometimes
which is fine by you
and by him
cus now it’s you calling him pet names all the time
and hugging him
and kissing his cheek
and praising his work
and blowing kisses from across the room
and just telling him straight up that no matter what, you’ll always go to him
(not that you ever had any chance with johnny lmao)
THIS GOES TO SHOW COMMUNICATING IS KEY, CHILDREN
COMMUNICATE
Renjun
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wym donghyuck is your bias lol
literally are you fucking kidding him
don’t get me wrong ok
everyone knows renjun loves haechan
they’re bffs and could not live without each other
but at the same time,,,
what is wrong with you
who did he choose as his s/o gods help him
if it was jeno, or mark, or jaehyun, or winwin, or kun, or lucas, or yuta, or taeyong, or ten, or,,,,
literally ANY of his other members
he’d understand your point and be like “ok fine”
but haechan???? hmmm bestie no
he’s not gonna throw a fit
not after the first time you told him anyways
HE WAS SURPRISED OKAY
and he just whined very loudly after having laughed for 5 minutes thinking it was a joke
<flashbacks of that one time he had to sing the ottoke song with haechan on weekly idol>
if you don’t know that iconic scene, renjun had a whole ass meltdown in 3 seconds while yelling “aAAAAAH JINJJAAAAA” and getting ready to punch the living shit out of hyuck
for no reason other than the fact that it’s haechan we’re talking about and injun’s little body is filled with rage
BACK ON TRACK
would probably try to act all cool about it and be like “i don’t mind” but bruh does he mind
and it doesn’t help that haechan is such a little shit about it
he doesn’t even flirt with you
he just
constantly reminds renjun that he’s your bias—not him—and then constantly praises himself over you
“ah, y/n~ did you choose me as your bias because i’m the best vocalist? or was it because i’m the best dancer? mAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY OH SO BROAD SHOULDERS—”
(pause for injun to punch him)
(unpaused)
and ok in the beginning it was funny seeing him all worked up but now it’s just annoying to be in the same room as these two
haechan won’t let either of you live
and renjun just wants to
fight
so it eventually gets to the point where you’ll talk to renjun and jeno will talk to hyuck cus even the other dreamies are tired of it
except maybe for chenle, he always laughs his ass off when they start bickering
ANYWAY
your conversation goes something like “oh my god renjun i’m literally dating you, i don’t like haechan better or anything you little pile of fury”
while jeno sits hyuck down in front of him and jaemin and just
“bro why are you like this”
“bro”
no but renjun would apologize for going overboard with his protectiveness and jealous energy because he’s not generally like that
he’s angry all the time but never about something involving you, you know
he tries his best to treat you like the royalty you are
but something about hyuck being your bias makes him feel a bit like a castaway???
he’s very creative and as an artsy kid myself i know we’re very prone to feeling left out because we’re just different from the others
so he’d think maybe haechan really has a better voice
or better dancing skills
or he looks better
he is taller than injun after all, and has broader shoulders, and his hair is all fluffy and—
the whole thing just made him insecure about things he had settled with himself long ago
he was fine with being him
but not so much when it came to that
i don’t think you two would fight over it cus tbh i think renjun would really only get with someone who can be very understanding of him
and i think hyuck would actually apologize to renjun too
not when everyone’s around but like, maybe after dinner or something and he just needs to feel like they’re besties again
hyuck never meant for things to get out of control
he just really likes both injun and you as his friends, and aside from skinship his most prominent love language is,,,
teasing
he was really just trying (very poorly) to grow closer to the person his best friend loves so much—you—because renjun is SUCH a big part of his life it would just feel wrong to not be good friends with you as well
don’t tell them i said this but they hug it out
injun strikes me as someone that could take a bit of time to bounce back from something that hurt his pride or his sense of belonging
and his way of healing and bonding is just,,,
art
sure, keep being haechan biased, but also please read with him
and talk about his fantastic animal creations
and watch those buzzfeed unsolved alien theory videos because he really wants to discuss it and maybe even draw what he thinks the aliens look like
hyuck tones it down, you make sure renjun knows you like him for him, renjun starts to (secretly) appreciate hyuck’s talent along with you...
and now let’s take a moment to imagine the minute you watch their latest mv with injun by your side
and yes okay the first thing you see is CLEARLY how good renjun looks because holy fucking shit he’s an angel (and i’m clearly not renjun biased)
but then,,,,,,
wAS THAT A HAECHAN HIGH NOTE
(there’s always a haechan high note, just look for it)
and ok maybe he did scream a bit with you because of how good it all sounded
and you know what, it works out perfectly bc you two are my new otp and you were meant for each other
but we do have to mention the eventual happening of chenle saying like “oOoOoOoH y/N wErE yOu dRoOliNg oVeR hAeChAn AgAiN” after a special stage
and then you, injun and hyuck all attempt to choke him
i’m kidding
or not
Jeno
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ah, lee jeno
aka samoyed boi
yes i do call him that no i will not stop
everyone is always writing jeno as being super protective and literally about to burst a lung if someone else ever does as much as look at you
but i just 
don’t see him that way
he’s a taurus and from what i know about taurus they can be v v jealous, yes, but they mainly seek comfort
so he’s fine with you biasing jaemin
as long as you’re not ditching him or anything lol
and ok, imma be 100% honest here even if it sounds like literal no fun (jenojaem wink wonk)
jaemin doesn’t flirt with you
not any more than he flirts with
every other breathing creature
ever
he’s really only platonically interested in you, never remotely romantic or anything lol
on the other side, he is in love with jeno
basically, if jaemin is your bias, jeno is his
so nothing really changes
we know how nomin are, okay
they hold hands, they stare deeply into each other eyes, they nearly kiss at least once every time they go live
it's just them
you gotta respect it bruh
i know this is the most boring reaction ever so let’s create the one (1) instance where jeno would actually dislike that you bias someone else
i think he would feel a bit hurt if you seemed to be more supportive of jaemin’s work than his
and it’s not something big or on purpose
it’s just something like going with him to a recording session but not going with jeno because you have homework
or after a very busy practise day going to praise jaemin first
even if it’s just three words
“you did good”
and then you’re going towards him, he’s gonna feel like maybe he doesn’t deserve your praise as much as nana????
i actually feel like, among the dreamies, jeno is the least confident one when it comes to his performance
he knows he’s not an awful rapper or anything but i think it can be a bit too much, being around such bright and huge presences like the others while his nickname literally means “no fun”
his members are just so loud and full of energy most of the time
and sometimes he just really needs to be quiet and observe in silence 
(yes i do know he’s chaotic and a crackhead, i’m just saying as we know he can be a bit introspective)
so what if you just
stopped seeing him?
did he become invisible to you?
did you finally fall for jaemin’s beautiful smile and stupid pick-up lines?
he’s not gonna let it show that he’s affected, though
earth signs are nearly always the ones to “stay strong” because we have this image that people are relying on us???
so we do what we do
bottle everything up and overwork ourselves bc we only got two modes
1. chill, super balanced and down to earth (ay for the pun)
2. please make us take a break we’re literally about to cry if we work for one more minute but we can’t allow ourselves to fucking take it easy
so yes you’ve guessed correctly, we’re going with 2
jeno is going to go so, SO hard on everything he does 
literally every single activity you can think of from dance practice to photoshoots to cooking for the dreamies
he stays up later than usual to get that one tricky move in the choreo just right
he works out more because he thinks he has to look absolutely perfect for when they shoot the mv
jisung asked for ramen? he’s making it but you bet your ass he’s spending over 40 minutes just chopping so
many
vegetables
AND STUFF THAT JISUNG WON’T EVEN EAT
but he’s doing it anyway for the reason being that it just has to be the Best™
and it’s not like he’s competing with anyone else to be diligent
this is just about being better than he was and showing himself—and maybe you—how painstakingly hardworking and driven he can be
maybe then you’re gonna acknowledge him as much as you acknowledge nana :((
:(((((
writing this is making me downright sad, jeno is so underrated and unaware of his power UGH
and i need to point out this is NOT about making you change your bias from jaemin to him, this is solely about having you recognize his efforts, even if you already do
if you just thought jeno was like going off in work because it was asked of him to, jaemin would DEF notice and talk to you about it
turns out it’s a habit of jeno to go extra hard sometimes and he needs someone to make him take a break
so it goes down like you breaking into the practice room when jeno and jisung were practising
the first reaction is confusion
the second is oh hey babe how are you
third is
a-are you dragging jeno and his bag out of the door while screeching at jisung to order pizza and doughnuts for everyone??
yes you are and i’m proud of you
so jeno is still confused and making those cute “hUh” noises he does omg i love him so much
and you’re just rambling about how much of an amazing artist he is, and you love his voice, and he’s a fantastic dancer, and his expressions and gestures are on point, and he takes such good care of the dreamies and
he’s perfect
and he knows jaemin must have talked to you, and he feels so vulnerable to have you know how on edge he’s been
baby boy just needs some rest
and that’s exactly what you give him, with a bath full of those fancy bath bombs and flower petals and candles at your house/apt
then a quick sheet mask while you massage his shoulders and keep saying how much you genuinely admire him
the mask might be ruined cus he started crying out of exhaustion
after that’s been done and you’ve hugged for at least like 5 min nonstop, you head over to the dorms, where hyuck was in charge of setting up a blanket fort while mork and nana gather board games, jisung gets the food and chenle
well chenle just had to make sure jisung doesn’t forget to order for someone and doesn’t break like 10 plates trying to set the table lol
this is way longer than the others so imma wrap it up
make it obvious and loud that you see and respect jeno’s hard work and he’ll be alright again
and maybe make those game nights a weekly thing when possible, it would make him very happy
he’ll never again feel sad when you praise jaemin cus now he’s sure he does enough, and above all, he is enough
Haechan
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haechan = full sun
why would you ever bias someone when you’re dating the goddamned sun
does not understand
but also does not care that much
actually, one out of two really depending on who your bias is
if it’s one of the members he has that tom/jerry relationship with, prepare for so
much
complaining
and clinging
AND HE’D BE SO LOUD OH MY FUCKING GOD
donghyuck please stop screaming about doyoung not deserving to be your baby’s bias, it’s 2 am
on the other hand, if it’s one of the (few) members he,,,
adores with all of his heart and is not afraid to show it
ex: sungchan, jaehyun, taeil and yang2x
then you can bet he’s going to be right beside you whenever you feel like throwing a fit because he’s just so handsome and talented
IF IT’S MARK OSHDISJD
i’m going to write you as being mark biased ok? ok
i honestly don’t know if he’d feel more jealous of mark or of you
he loves you both
a lot,,,,
and he really doesn’t like it when mark blushes when you compliment him
and he doesn’t like it when mark literally just walks past you and you trip over your feet because bro tf u doing, that’s some embarrassing shit
lowkey done with you two
but also PAY HIM SOME ATTENTION
or don’t, he’s fine either way (cue crossed arms and staring at you from across the room until you come give him a kiss)
“he’s pretty cute but i’m cuter right baby”
pouty pouty pouty if he ever feels neglected
will be so fucking annoying lmao i can’t write haechan, i love him but i do understand why renjun is always trying to beat him up
he’d be a show-off in a different way than mark because he can be so petty
will take every chance he gets to pull a one-liner
will sing everything he has to say just so you know he can hit those high notes
what do you mean dream doesn’t have a schedule today
oh man, he could swear they did
because that is the sole reason why he’s wearing his most expensive clothes and shoes + makeup to walk around the dorms, yes
no he doesn’t want to impress you
shut up
will text you like every single fancam he sees on twitter
every
single 
one
and are they mark’s?
lol no, they’re his
he is so genuinely trying to make you a member of his sunflower cult 
<whispers> “tell me i’m your bias” 
“donghyuck what the actual hell why are you standing at the end of my bed in the middle of the night like a fucking demon child”
he really wants to act all cool and composed but he wants to be your bias so fucking bad
he’s a bad bitch all around and just does whatever
cus haechan privilege
and he tends to not care about what people say and think???
bc he knows he’s lee donghyuck
he’s fully aware of the effect he has on people
but you
not biasing him
naw, he can’t take it
will do anything and everything he can to make you say, JUST ONE TIME, he’s your bias
then you can go back to loving (his) mark
so for your sake, for his sake, for mark’s sake
just give donghyuck what he wants
i can promise he’ll keep being an ass no matter what you do
like yeah did you just buy him coffee and his favourite cake? well that’s sweet but iS HE YOUR BIAS YET
“aw babe thanks so much for taking a bullet for me but now please say i’m your bias”
if you still don’t do it, it’s time to be extra petty
will actually drop you for mark
his logic is something like: he can’t be your bias? pity, so he’s just gonna date him instead
and mark is mark so he has no idea what’s going on
everyone in 127 and dream finds this absolutely hilarious cus suddenly donghyuck seems to be doing his best to win over mark’s heart and i mean more than usual???? and he’s treating you like his bro????
<you leaving the dorms to go to uni or smth so you go to hyuck for a goodbye kiss> “no can do, i’m committed”
“i’m your partner”
“no that’s mark”
it’s not 100% a joke when i say i can see him getting down in one knee to propose to mark while making eye contact with you to
assert his dominance
and mark is just
“dude
what HAHAHA”
and you are so done, i’m so sorry you have to go through that bby
i don’t think there’s another way to fix haechan other than just admitting he was your bias for an era, or a comeback or something
like yeah with the other dreamies before him it’s bonding + healing time bc i wrote it all kinda angsty (lol sorry) but with donghyuck
no
“will you stop this if i say you were my bias during reload era”
“mark wasn’t in dream that era tho”
“yes i know”
i say he’s gonna take what he can get and now things can finally go back to normal
with the exception that something else comes along with hyuck being satisfied with you biasing him
he just has a full pass to fanboy over mark now too
what am i talking about?
new 127 mv is out
you: watching it beside haechan and going off about how pretty mark looks
him: going off even harder bc he’s whipped too
this is what a happy couple looks like 
but now i pity mark because he has you two idiots fanboying over him irl
savemork2021
Jaemin
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nana is just such a chill and fun guy
i can’t see him being actually jealous or anything if he finds out you bias someone else
and so the two of you become insufferable together
bitch, i’m telling you
he (ur bias) is not gonna have one peaceful day ever again in his entire life
cus you know the thing jaemin does where he just looks at someone doing some random shit and goes “oOoOoH sExY”
yes that thing
he’s doing it to your bias 
and you’re doing it too
and your bias probably wants to run away to some very far away land
PLEASE IF IT’S JISUNG
i’m not gonna write this whole thing as if you bias him but let’s just imagine
two fully grown people
pilling on top of poor, poor park jisung playing games on his phone
“URI JISUNGIEEEEEE
MWOYA, MWOYAAAA~"
i genuinely think he would avoid being around you two at the same time
cus individually he can handle it
like yes y/n please let me go this hug has lasted for about 4 minutes now
or oh hi jaemin hyung my cheeks hurt when you pinch them that hard
but when you two are together
bruh
a power couple not bc you two are v confident or some shit but bc you can and will be extremely affectionate towards anyone that comes too close
and now let’s talk about how it would be if you biased jaehyun
jaemin loves jaehyun
they’re 2jae
2jae are soulmates
therefore,,,, it’s also kinda hellish but in a different way???
bc 2jae are on the end of that spectrum about the neos that know how in love the entire world is with them
they’re too powerful
they’re aware of their charm and they do everything they can to rub it in our faces
so the flirting between 2jae and you would be insane
and i mean insane
insane as in even johnny is kinda disgusted tbh bc
they’re doing a photo shoot with the 23 of them for some shit, idk don’t ask me
and of course, you had to tag along
but oh my god you three, please stop calling each other sexy/hot in weird voices now, the staff is staring
there are def rumours the 3 of you are a poly couple lmao
jaehyun denies everything on social media (throwback to saying “no way lol” when we asked if he REALLY slept in the same bed as jungwoo)
but every piece of content there is of you and jaemin or you and jaehyun or just them is so ridiculously flirty
you can bet there are compilations on youtube like 
“y/n being in love with 2jae for 8 minutes heterosexual”
ok i was having way too much fun with that, moving on
i don’t think he’d ever be actually upset about you biasing someone else
he trusts you and treasures you a lot so he doesn’t see the problem in you also appreciating another one of his members
bc gods know he does
he’s a bit in love with everyone so why shouldn’t you be too lol
one time he would feel a bit blue because of it???
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i think it’s possible he’d turn pouty or whiny or just kinda needy (not in a bad way, he just misses you) when he’s like
done with people
and needs some time away from everything
we know he’s an introvert, even if he acts very, very loud around the boys and it’s honestly just a matter of time until an introvert grows tired of being around humans
it depends on each person, of course, but there’s a 99% chance every once in a while he’ll start to feel too drained
and he’ll need a break to get his energy back
jaemin would probably want you around even when he feels like that, though
i see you being such a big source of comfort for him in a relationship
he enjoys taking care of people so please take care of him too
and for just this one day don’t talk about your bias that much, or don’t leave nana to go over to him to chat
and just cuddle him a lot
that will make him a smiley baby again
and then things are back to how they normally are
and by that i mean most neos hiding from you because they’re scared 
i don’t have a lot to say aside from that so let’s think about the neos that would be the most intimidated by your shared thot aura
dotae would be confused in different ways lol
taeyong would be just ????????????blush/awkward smile/hahaha??????
and doyoung might actually ask what is wrong with you
<points to jeno and his s/o> “why can’t you be like them”
mark would laugh-scream and slap his knee into oblivion whenever you two are cornering him
but then go super shy and be like “dUDE DON’T DO THAT”
resident confident gay jungwoo would rejoice in the attention and make so many goddamned jokes
a literal comedian i love him
i think sicheng and renjun would be on the same wavelength of repugnance towards you lol
chenle would deadass call you weird and tell you to leave him alone
shotaro and kun might faint (or kun will panic-scold you)
taeil is as confused by affection as usual (have you seen the face he makes when haechan kisses him LMFAO he’s smiling but like wondering wtf happened on the inside)
ten is not very amused but might play into it
yangyang: that’s disgusting, man (cue flashbacks to that live with renjun after the from home stage where renjun pretended to lick his hand and slick his hair back,,, catboy injun,,, you know the one)
xiaojun and hendery are such panicked gays they just turn to stare at whoever else is around and make that “help” expression like they’re on the office
haechan is haechan, kinda doesn’t mind it
jeno is used to dealing with this at this point
lucas and yuta love the attention but while yuta will flirt right back lucas is just gonna smile and try to jop his way out of there while screaming
sungchan will go hide behind haechan and say “hyung they’re being dumbasses again”
this turned into ‘how would nct react to you and jaemin being super flirty together’ and i’m not sorry
Chenle
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chenle is so fun to write i love him lmao
okay so
he doesn’t strike me as the possessive type with anyone other than jisung (bc i swear he can be a bit jelly towards his bestie but i think it comes with sungie being the sweetest bean ever, he’s just protective)
he’s such a ray of sunshine and witty jokes and dolphin laughter i love him
back to the plot
he literally couldn’t care less about you biasing someone else
b u t
i will say there’s an exception
this exception is tall, kinda lanky, very awkward and born on the 5th of february
you’ve guessed it, it’s jisung
i think most of the time he’d tease THE SHIT out of you for it because c’mon
you had 22 chances not to mess up
and you still somehow ended up biasing jisung? lol do better next time
and this is not me and chenle hating on jisung, please—
he’d just find it funny that your bias is his best friend and
hold the fuck up
your bias is his best friend
oH NO NO NO NO NO
i think after realizing that he would lowkey try to keep you two apart because he’s somehow jealous of both????
and if he can’t help it then you can bet your ass he will be screaming all along
it’s his sweet, dummy jisung
with his sweeter and dummier y/n
what is he going to do
probably has a mini-breakdown with kun because like he’s always wanted you two to get along bUT NOT LIKE THAT
kun will just sigh like the tired father he is and pet his back while saying “there, there”
and a genius idea is going to come to chenle’s mind
you know the teasing thing?
well it’s upgrade time
he’s gonna turn into such a try-hard with tmi and embarrassing shit you two have done
and he’s not trying to stop you from being friends
he just wants you to like
know who you’re befriending
bc i think since he’s really really close to jisung, he doesn’t want you getting closer to him bc you like his idol side alone
and he doesn’t want jisung getting close to you just because you’re his partner either
if you had high hopes for each other and ended up kinda falling face-first into the ground bc it was nothing like you had imagined—
he’d be so broken
because he loves you so much :((((
so like, if you can get past the teasing and annoying barrier he’s putting up, he’ll be more than happy to have two of the most important people in his life being buddies
so get ready for it
if you’re the type of person to go batshit crazy when you drink, oh boy, oh boy
so you and the dreamies are just having dinner when lele feels like it’s the perfect time to disclose some of your drunken adventures
“hey y/n”
“yeah babe?”
“remember that time you got really really drunk on vodka and candy and wanted to call your mom”
“chenle the hell don’t talk ab—”
“but then you tried using the microwave as a phone”
“...”
“...”
“or that other time you were equally as drunk and watched the make a wish mv and cried because you noticed the height difference between xiaojun hyung and lucas hyung”
yeah so now’s the part you get up to chase him around the dorms and try to land a kick
BUT WORRY NOT, HE’LL MAKE SURE TO EMBARRASS JISUNG JUST AS MUCH
he likes doing that when it’s just the three of you though
so picture this
movie night the girls boys
chenle would 100% pick the most terrifying horror movie he can find so that he could see jisung clinging to whoever’s closest to him
and then right before a jumpscare, he’d whisper like
“jisung”
“w-what”
“why don’t you do that thing you were doing while you slept last night”
(honestly, i’d be mildly scared if i heard lele say this with no context at all)
and then the jumpscare happens and jisung is nearly fainting and crying at the same time
but chenle is laughing
and trying to get out what he wants to tell you between wheezes
“he-he” <dolphin wheeze> “hE WAS SINGING CHEER UP BY TWICE WHILE SLEEPING” <more wheezes>
and look this is just gonna go on for weeks until you and jisung are over it
and stop being weird and awkward around each other
lele needs you two to be bros ok
so be bros
once you do adapt to being pals with your bias i think chenle would take the teasing down a notch just to make you more comfortable
and like he’s so happy now the three of you can hang out and there’s just no tension
happy chenle is the thing i love the most i swear to gods
and if you don’t adapt to it?
well,,,
i honestly think he’d be pretty disappointed, cus it means to him one of you isn’t ready to fully embrace the weirdness within????
and like what u scared of
jisung is a weirdo, what about it, so are you
either that or he’d think you’re maybe being judgemental
so yeah please accept jisungie and your dumbass boyfriend
then everyone can be besties
i love thinking about the three of you as just this hellbound chaotic trio
because chenji already wreak havoc wherever they go as the two of them
but now that you’re coming along,,,,
no neo would escape from your pranks ever again (and even members of other groups lmfao watch out sehun, i’m talking to you)
and it’s so incredible infuriating in a good way that it just turns to be endearing
you’re cute as fuck so no one gets actually mad with the shit you pull????
which is dangerous, someone should really keep an eye out on the three of you 
we don’t need sm to be on fire
well we kinda do cus they’re pretty bad but not my point
i said somewhere above that chenle would tone the teasing down but i don’t mean he’d stop
bc c’mon guys
he’s chenle
no limits here
but sorry, i really cannot write jealous!chenle cus his heart is just too pure and filled with joy for him to be jealous for real
last scenario?
chenle after a comeback stage: ya y/n, i was gonna ask how was my performance today but you were probably more focused on jisung’s arms right
jisung is choking on water somewhere behind you
Jisung
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it’s maknae time <plays i.n’s maknae on top>
i don’t mean to picture jisung as being like
ridiculously innocent or just downright naive because i really dislike it when people do that
he’s a literal 19 yo and jaemin himself has said he’s not as innocent as we think lol
however
i do see him as being quite new to all things love 
i think you’d probably be his first partner and with first relationships comes a lot of other firsts
first kiss maybe, first time holding hands, first time being jealous….
first time being jealous, yes, focus on that
i don’t think jisung would be aware that like
you not biasing him is even a possibility
cuz you’re dating
doesn’t that come along????
ah poor baby i love him
if you biased chenle i think he’d be just
disgusted and weirded out but okay?? you do you i guess???
he’s comfortable enough with lele to not feel intimidated
but if it’s another member
ESPECIALLY one of the oldest ones
i think it would be a blow straight to his confidence 
you biasing ten, kun, taeil, taeyong, doyoung or johnny and maybe yuta would make him feel a bit hesitant and concerned
his first thought would probably be that you don’t like being with someone as young as him
and who knows, maybe you’re even younger than him, maybe you’re the same age, but what if you actually like older guys??
what about him then???
and jisung doesn’t mean to feel so worried and insecure, ok, pls understand where i’m coming from
first relationships normally take like a very long time to build trust and acceptance of the other person’s feelings bc it’s literally a whole new world for you
and that goes extra hard for jisung because he is so fucking whipped for you it’s still hard to believe you like him as much
and it absolutely does not cross his mind that you’d cheat on him with your bias, GODS NO
he really respects you and his hyungs 
so no, never
that’s not a thing that can happen
but you realize you’re too good for him and maybe see he doesn’t fit your ideal type?
well, yes, that’s what he’s thinking
probably goes straight to chenle or renjun (he talks about renjun so much asjahj) to vent and ask for advice
i think they’d be surprised to see what’s going on inside his pretty little head because it’s so obvious for everyone that you just adore jisung
and they do tell him that
however, i don’t think it would completely calm his nerves, and again, this has nothing to do with not trusting you
it’s just that
his hyungs are so cool…
HE CAN’T HELP IT OK
would probably try to mirror your bias (i’m saying it’s taeyong for the sake of what i’ve imagined ok) and like
grasp onto some of his qualities?
so in his mind taeyong is: nice, sweet, caring, amazing, perfect, smart, perfect, sexy, mature and did i mention perfect
i can see him trying some new rap styles that mimic tyong’s a bit???
like would lowkey learn his raps from cherry bomb and superm’s one and listen to recordings frequently to pick up on how taeyong does it
i think he’d also just change the way he acts in general to dodge a bit from his maknae image
so now he tries to speak with a more formal-ish language and learns random facts about things you like to seem more intelligent???
“good morning y/n, you look as beautiful as one of voiello’s paintings today :]”
“wait i thought that was a pasta brand”
he’s just trying to show you he can be mature and serious if you want him to
long story short, he’s not acting like himself (not that he’s childish, he’s just out of it) and you don’t like it, so you ask about it and wait for him to feel comfortable with sharing
when he does talk about it breaks your heart so much :((
you’re going to need some patience to try and show him you’d choose him, and not your bias, even if you had the chance
they’re completely different people and you love him BECAUSE he’s jisung, not for any other reason
please reassure him so he can go back to acting like his authentic self, i think it would be such a relief for him too
your words and affection are obviously enough for him, but if it ever happens that he feels especially low and insecure again, it would help if your bias talks to him too
and taeyong wouldn’t have a problem with it
actually, scratch that, taeyong probably knew what was going on all along
he just has that motherly 7th sense (ay) that is even more acute with the dreamies cus like��
127 has him, wayv has kun, but dream has…
the dreamies
and that, my friend, is terrifying
anyway he’d come to talk to jisung asking like “what’s wrong buddy :(“ and sungie would be a bit ashamed because it sounds so silly when you say it out loud
of course tyong wouldn’t judge him, and he just really has to tell jisung what is it you and he are always talking about
it’s him
“when they come around to talk and hang out here it all goes back to you, jisungie. they can’t spend one second without mentioning your name
it’s so cute; it’s always like ‘oh jisung would love this’ or ‘jisung likes it that way’
so please be kinder to yourself and let yourself see that they’re in love with you, not with me and not with any other member they ever mention”
jisung would feel 10000000% better
and smiley
and giggly
and oh my god do you really talk about him that much
LOOK HE’S BLUSHING
would just go over to your house immediately and hug you, burying his face on your neck from behind you
and not let go
ever again
the whole situation just teaches him a lot about accepting your love for him and not questioning it 
shut up i’m not crying
---
final notes: this was my first work after the humanity series and it was so fun lol i think next up is probs gonna be an ideal type scenario for ot23 (but if i really write it i’m gonna post it by subunit and its gonna be way shorter than this, don’t expect 23K words at once lmao)
if you’ve enjoyed this fic please consider reading my humanity series, which is a zombie apocalypse au with kun <3
330 notes · View notes
babbushka · 3 years
Text
Happily Ever After (Part 1)
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Flip Zimmerman x Reader
10k; Slow burn, strangers to lovers, hidden/secret identity, falling in love, first kiss; cw: Kidnapping, sword fighting, archery, near-death experiences 
A/N: I originally was going to upload this as one big oneshot, but then I got carried away and it became too long. So here is part 1, part 2 will be coming tomorrow, which has a much darker tone/set of warnings, please keep that in mind! Thank you to everyone for voting on my 5k Follower celebration polls and allowing me to write this story! I truly couldn’t have done it without you :) 
Available on AO3
                                                  ---------------------
Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a magical kingdom known to all as Springs Valley. It was a peaceful and prosperous kingdom, nestled deep in the heart of a mountainous range. Though the villages were small, they were happy, for they were ruled by their beloved Queen and her husband, the Prince. The monarchs treated the villagers fairly, and justly, ruling with a kind yet firm fist from their castle, a grand building called the Purple Palace. And if there was one thing that the monarchs taught above all, it was that the power of goodness and love, would always triumph over evil.
This is the story of how one man fought against all odds to start anew, to find his heart, and earn his crown.
Of the many small villages that co-existed in Springs Valley, there was only one that could be considered the Capitol. It was called Pike Peak, and that is where our story begins. Pike Peak was nestled on the outskirts of the Purple Palace, so named due to the land surrounding it: vast waves of lavender which swayed like a tide in the breezes that traveled through the Valley. The fields stretched from the edge of the palace all the way to the village, and so no matter where one stood in Pike Peak, the castle was always in sight, its crystal walls glittering in the sunshine. 
From his home high up in the mountains, just on the edge of the village, Philip Zimmerman awoke every morning to the rainbow beams of light that the sun bounced off of the crystal walls. A humble carpenter, these bright rainbows lured Philip out of bed each morning, and called him to begin his day toiling away in his workshop.
On one particular morning, Philip awoke with a thorn in his side. For over thirty years, he had lived and worked in this home, crafting all manner of things from wood. His father had owned this workshop for eighty-years, and his father had owned it for nearly as long prior. Though in life there were no certainties, one thing could be counted on: Philip was born a woodworker, and he would die a woodworker.
“Another day, another order.” Philip huffed to himself that morning, wishing he were doing something, anything, else with his time.
He wasn’t ashamed to be a carpenter – no of course not! He’s good at it, the best in the village they say. It’s an honor to be the best at something, Philip thought as he stretched and set some coffee atop the stove.
It’s just that…well…it sure would be nice to have someone to share that with, wouldn’t it? He’d never tell a soul, but often when Philip is hard at work assembling the orders that have been given, he lets his mind wander to another world, a different world, where he could be something other than just the man who fixes a wobbly table or loose wagon wheel. A world where he could be a Knight in shining armor, have a beautiful maiden to call his wife and keep warm at night.
He loved living in the village, of course he did. He loved the townspeople and the quaint living, the fresh bread traded for baking paddles carved by his own hand. But as Philip turned his gaze to the Purple Palace, glittering and shimmering in the distance, he had to believe that there was something more to life than this.
He had to, otherwise what was all this for?
And he didn’t know, but looking out through your window in that very same castle high above him, a certain someone was thinking the very same.
Though the walls were made of crystal, mystery shrouded the Purple Palace. No one from the village had ever been allowed inside, so naturally rumors spread across the Valley, of what could be hidden away. One such rumor was that of a Princess, cursed for all eternity to remain bound to the palace grounds. No one had ever even seen this Princess, but still, the rumors remained.
Little did the Valley know, but there was indeed a Princess, although she hardly ever felt like it. Never allowed beyond the boundaries of the East Wing, she spent her days keeping herself company, occupied with her books and her art and her music. It was music most of all which she loved, so much so that when she thought no one could hear her, she would sing in the early hours of morning. The King and Queen had told her it was for her own safety, that she would surely be kidnapped or held for ransom by the neighboring Kingdom – and so out of fear, inside the castle she remained.
It wasn’t so bad, she reasoned, living in the castle. She had all her needs tended to, anything she wanted was given to her. New beautiful dresses and shoes, books and instruments and the latest entertainments, whatever food she desired were all brought to her at the snap of her fingers -- but what she craved most of all, more than any delicious meal or fine gown, was love.
Love like that which existed in the books she read to pass the hours wasting away in her bedroom. True love, pure and sweet. So every morning she sang, her window open, hoping that one day someone might hear her, and she might find the love she was after.
But Philip did not know any of this. Shaking the daydreams out of his head and turning away from the palace, he began to busy himself with the day. He dressed in the clothing that his meager peasant’s salary could afford, and drank the black coffee he had brewed. Leaving his small kitchen to check the post, Philip braced himself for another slew of orders – and new orders there were.
Every day it seemed as though something new in the village needed mending, or replacing. He had come to expect the same requests day after day. However, what he had not braced himself for, what he could never in a million years have expected, was a thick envelope sealed with purple wax, stamped with the crest of the royal family, sitting on top of the pile of mail.
Rushing into the small house once more, Philip tore open the envelope and could scarcely believe what he was reading,
“Dear Mr. Zimmerman, we have heard the wonders of your skill and have decided to commission your talents to build a grand centerpiece for the upcoming harvest festival,” He read aloud to himself, his eyes growing wide with every word, “By royal decree, we invite you to the castle for a consultation.”
Philip took a moment to process the offer, eventually coming to the conclusion that could only be described as, holy shit.
Abandoning his tasks for the day, Philip at once set off towards the Purple Palace.
Though it was early in the day, the path to the palace was filled with villagers, going about their lives in the same orderly fashion as they always had, the very same that Philip did. Philip wondered if they had dreams of grandeur, or if it was only he who was going through this mid-life crisis.
“Good morning Mr. Zimmerman!” One portly fellow, the butcher, waved to him. “Thank you again for the cutting blocks you made me, they work like a damn charm!”
“You’re welcome, I’m glad to hear they are holding up.” Philip gave a friendly nod and waved back.
“Flip? Flip! Over here!” A young boy called to him as he passed through the village square, “Check out this new trick I learned!”
Out of nowhere, this child ran up to him and threw a large stick his way. Expertly, Philip caught it and began to at once deflect blow after blow from his young opponent’s stick. The young boy waved his around and around, acting as if it were the mightiest of swords.
Allowing the boy to overtake him and knock the stick out of his hands, Philip heartily laughed as he fell to the ground with a theatrical flair that had the child bursting into a fit of giggles. Philip tried not to allow himself to grow bitter over the years, never having any children of his own. The village children were good-natured and friendly, if a bit chaotic at times, and it always reminded Philip of what could have been.
“Very good, keep that up and one day you’ll be fighting for our crown.” Nevertheless, Philip always encouraged the children whenever he saw them, so he got up and with a ruffle of the boy’s hair, continued on his way.
                                                 ---------------------
Glittering in the morning sunlight, the Palace was even more intimidating up close and personal. Guards standing by the door inspected him with raised eyebrows, but the moment he showed the seal on the envelope, the gates parted for him to pass through. As they opened, Philip hesitated – he had never been inside the palace before…no one had. He did not know what he was going to find, or what it would be like, but as the rainbows sparkled across the lavender fields, he knew there would only be one way to find out.
Every bit as magical as Philip had hoped, was the answer. He tried not to gawk at the mesmerizing architecture, seemingly clear and yet reflective all at once. Everything in the palace felt fragile and yet formidable, it was a disorienting experience. His disorientation only grew, as when he made his way through the entrance hall, he found none other than the King and Queen waiting for him atop their tall thrones. Philip knew what they looked like of course, their faces were on every piece of coinage and sent across the Valley by way of statue and tapestry, but much like the palace had seemed, up close they were intimidating.
At once, Philip bowed deeply, not wanting his first interaction with the monarchy to be his last.
“Mr. Zimmerman!” The King’s voice boomed loud and proud through the grand throne room, “How good of you to join us after all. We had hoped you would find our offer compelling.”
This friendliness was unexpected, and Philip, with great hesitation, stood back up to his full height. The King and Queen smiled at him, warm and welcoming.
“Yes your majesty, but I wonder, why me?” Philip had to ask, clutching the envelope in his too-large hands.
“Why not you?” The Queen challenged with a knowing smile, “It is no secret that you are the most talented carpenter in the Valley, and such talents do not go unnoticed by the crown.”
The praise brought a blush to Philip’s cheeks, and once again he averted his eyes. He wished his Ma were still here with him, if only she could have seen him now, being asked to make something for their monarchs.
“What would you like for me to build?” He wondered aloud, hoping it was not out of turn to be so direct with the royals.
“A wheelbarrow, one large enough to hold all the lavender for this year’s harvest.” The King did not seem deterred by his questioning, and had his answer ready to reply.
Philip’s eyebrows shot up at that notion, and through the crystal walls, he stared out into the sea of lavender just beyond. It seemed to stretch endlessly, for miles and miles all around. Philip had heard tales of the ocean but had never seen it himself – he imagined this was not dissimilar.
“That would be big indeed, I’m afraid I don’t think I would have the room to construct such a thing at my workshop.” Philip admitted, suddenly feeling ashamed at his own humble dwelling.
“You may live and work here for the duration of the build, if you so desire. I daresay that our workshop will be more than satisfactory.” The Queen offered at once, something that the carpenter had only ever dreamed about.
“It would be an honor, your majesties.” Philip agreed straight away, his hands already itching to begin carving and chipping and sanding away wood.
“Then we expect you to get started at once!” The Queen gave him a dismissing nod of her head, and he bowed deeply once more, before being escorted out of the throne room by palace aides, and down towards the East Wing.
And with that, Philip began constructing the largest and most impressive wheelbarrow that the Valley had ever seen.
                                                 ---------------------
His routine was the same every day, for twenty days and twenty nights: in the early morning before the dawn, he would hike out into the forest to collect his wood. Chopping down only the most perfect of trees, Philip hauled logs and trunks across his shoulders back to the workshop, where he would use all the tools, space, and materials that the palace had to offer. He would not leave until very late at night, his hands cramped and body exhausted, but it was the most wonderful work he had done in a long time.
It was backbreaking work, especially for only one man, but every evening when he rested his head on the narrow bed in a small room just off the workshop, Philip fell asleep with pride in his chest. The singing helped, of course. Every morning, instead of awaking to rainbow beams of light shining through his window, he woke to the sweet song of a fair maiden. He did not know who she was, or even where she was, for the sound bounced around the crystal walls and made it appear as though she existed everywhere and nowhere.
Songs of longing, wordless melodies filled with a yearning for something which Philip had never been able to voice himself but that he could feel in his own soul, carried him through the day. It was a delight, a privilege to hear the music when it came, and a sorrowful emptiness when it finished.
Working by himself as he always had, alone in the workshop like he always was, he felt as though that maiden sang for him. He had grown so attached to the voice in fact, that when the wheelbarrow was complete and sent out to hold the year’s lavender harvest, Philip cast a yearning gaze up to the stars himself hoping that by some miracle, the maiden would reveal herself to him, and he could thank her for the beauty that was her voice.
                                                 ---------------------
The festival began at sunrise, and though Philip was in good spirits, he found that he could not join in the immense excitement of those around him. Seemingly the entire town had awoken to celebrate; booths were constructed in the main square, and music and dancing were already underway. 
In the center of it all, was the wheelbarrow, a structure larger than Pike Peak’s largest building. Standing nearly thirty feet tall and seemingly just as wide, it had been rolled out by palace guards and filled with lavender harvested from the fields, it truly was a sight to behold.
“Flip, it is marvelous.” The baker congratulated him, pulling him into a tight squeezing hug.
“How amazing, one of our own working for the King and Queen!” The cobbler stared at the magnificent sculpture in awe.
“Will they commission you again?” The blacksmith wondered aloud hopefully.
Of all these comments and questions, that one was the only thing that occupied Philip’s mind. Not for the prestige, or for the money, but to hear the voice of that fair maiden once again, to be able to work by the sound of her voice once more.
“That I cannot say, I hope to inquire about that when I receive my compensation tomorrow.” He replied, before sticking his hands in his pocket, and leaving the large gathering to go find a quiet place to smoke his pipe.
So lost in a daydream about the maiden was he, that he did not make it very far before someone collided with his firm chest at such a speed that she toppled onto the ground with a startled gasp.
“Oh shit!” The poor maiden groaned. Belatedly, Philip realized that she was holding a hot coffee fresh from one of the breakfast stalls, and immediately began to search and ensure that she had not been burned.
“Please forgive me!” Philip apologized at once, flustered in his own right, feeling like a fool and concerningly asking, “Are you injured?”
The maiden simply looked at him, and Philip felt as though all time and space came to a standstill. She was, undoubtedly, the most beautiful thing he had ever beheld. Even with her torn and tattered hem and her dirty apron, Philip could feel the tides within him change.
“No, no I’m quite alright. I should have been watching where I was going, the fault is mine.” Dazed, the maiden seemed just as affected by Philip as he was of her, and he pulled her gently to her feet.
“I don’t think we’ve met before, are you new to the village?” His own voice sounded a thousand miles away to his ears, too captivated in the presence of such beauty.
“Hm? Oh! Yes,” She began to stammer, nervous about something. “I, um well you see I come from out of town. I heard there to be a large and impressive centerpiece for the festival, and I wanted to see it for myself.”
“You heard about the wheelbarrow?” He blinked, chest pounding.
“Of course! And I find it absolutely magnificent, seeing it up close like this.” She replied with an honest smile, “Whoever made it surely is an expert at their craft.”
At this, Philip’s heart soared! This beautiful woman had heard of him, had heard of his work. His heart began to beat harder, faster than before. All at once, any worries he may have had about the quality of his craftsmanship vanished, all in the wake of this one person’s praise.
“Do you really think so?” Philip swallowed around a lump in his throat, and all too softly, the maiden nudged the back of his hand with her own.
“Yes, I do.” She whispered, a sparkle of sorts in her eye that made Philip sure he had to be dreaming, that sort of sparkle that told him she knew exactly who built it. Biting her lip for a moment, she looked around and continued in that same hushed tone, “I fear that I am not familiar enough with your village to know my way around this festival, would you accompany me?”
No one had ever asked Philip to accompany them to anything, as a friend or…or otherwise. And the way she was looking at him, he knew that this was most certainly an otherwise.
“It would be a privilege.” He offered her his arm, which she gladly accepted, and back to the festival they went.
                                                 ---------------------
Pike Peak knew how to throw a party, this was extremely evident to the young maiden as Philip led her through the main square. Everyone had donned a costume of sorts, masks and hats and funny tunics made to look like the buds of the lavender flower which they were celebrating. Music played happily and people danced, children ran about shouting out in joy as they chased one another, and merriment was abundant.
As they walked through the square, Philip brought the maiden down towards the merchant stalls, where craftsmen like himself had goods on display for purchase. It wasn’t just those in Pike Peak who attended the festival, no no, people from all over Springs Valley made the journey to partake in the festivities, and the merchants knew it. Philip had of course seen all these goods before, but it was evident that the maiden had not.
She stopped in front of one stall belonging to the Jeweler. Kept in wooden boxes made by Philip’s own hand were one of a kind necklaces, rings, earrings, and bracelets of purple stones that shone in the late morning light.
“Would you like one?” Philip asked her gently, when he noticed her staring at a particular pair of earrings.
“Oh I couldn’t possibly.” She replied with an embarrassed shake of her head, about to move on from the stall.
“Which pair? Please, allow me.” Philip reaches out to grasp her wrist to prevent her from leaving, wanting to give something to her, wanting to do something nice for her. He didn’t have very much money, but he knew that he would soon be paid for his commission, and decided this beautiful woman was worth the expense.
“Those.” Entranced, she pointed to an ornate set.
Philip had to admit, she had wonderful taste. The earrings were set in gold, small hoops from which stones dangled. The first and largest stone was oval shaped, and from it six smaller circles in two rows of three sat nestled in gold as well. And then, dangling from them, three oblong purple stones twinkled and clinked together like windchimes as Philip picked them up.
“How much?” Philip asked the Jeweler, who eyed him with joy.
“For you, who has done so much for me? Take them as a gift, I insist.” The Jeweler put her hands up as if to say she would not be convinced to change her mind. She regarded the maiden then and told her, “Without this man’s talents, I would not have a studio to make my designs in.”
The maiden grinned at Philip, who only blushed deeply from the kind words spoken about him. Turning to him, the maiden pushed her hair away from her ears.
“Would you put them on for me?” She asked, and Philip had to will his hands not to shake as he did just that. She did not even wince when he tightened the earrings a little too much, and the two chuckled together out of shyness when she corrected it, before addressing the Jeweler and this handsome man, “Thank you, they’re beautiful. I shall never take them off.”
With that, Philip and the maiden continued along their way, exploring more of the festival.
Surely he was delusional, he thought, he must have been. Because every now and again, he felt the barest brush of knuckles against his own, a tentative invitation. He is about to have a crisis about it, when she speaks softly and does it again, the careful nudging of her fingers against his.
“Won’t you take my hand?” She whispered, turning those bright eyes of hers onto him, stunning him with her beauty.
He grew self-conscious, regarding his own palms. Covered in callouses and blisters and bandages were they, cut up by splintered wood and burned by hot glues. They were a peasant’s hands, dirt still lingering under the fingernails, scarred from a lifetime of efforts. Her hands were soft, he could tell just by looking at them, at the smooth supple skin that kept ghosting over his own.
“I fear that you wouldn’t like them, they are rough from years of woodworking.” He admitted, and much like he had felt in front of the King and Queen, he feels shame.
But she only took his hand with a confidence that shocked him, the electric feeling of her fingers weaving through his own making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.
“You are mistaken, my good sir.” The maiden gives him a smile, soft and sweet, “It is because they are rough that I would like to hold them.”
Philip could do nothing but blink.
Could this be…? Could it be the very thing that he had longed for for so long? A person who accepted him for all that he was, and all that he was not? With the way she looked at him, Philip felt his heart begin to pound, growing larger in his chest. She, lovely and gentle as she was, wanted to hold his hand, his dirty scarred hand – never did Philip think he could have ever been so lucky!
In that moment, it was as if the festival disappeared entirely, as if there were no other villagers in the square aside from him and her. He was lost in her eyes, in her smile. Sweating and nervous, Philip let his eyes close and began to lean down, compelled to offer her a kiss. Terrified, he held his breath as adrenaline surged through his body, for though he had his eyes closed, he felt her leaning in towards him, felt her lips just about to press against his own when –
The wailing of a small child snapped them both out of their moment of intimacy, and Philip opened his eyes, seeing a young boy with big fat tears spilling over his cheeks clinging to the maiden’s apron.
“Oh you poor thing!” She opened her arms for him and scooped him up, balancing him atop her hip in a manner that has Philip so endeared to her that he cannot even be angry that their moment was interrupted. She pet down his thick curly hair and bounced him gently, all the while soothing him, “Don’t cry, what is the matter?”
“I’ve lost my Mama.” The little boy hiccupped and cried, and the maiden gets a determined look in her eye straight away.
“We’ll help you find her, won’t we?” She asked Philip, and he was so dazed by the sight of her kindness that he barely recognizes his own voice when he speaks.
“Yes of course -- ” Philip began fully prepared to do just that, before a frantic looking woman appeared out of the crowd.
She had another child on her hip, this one much younger than the boy that had stopped crying once he saw her. The family resemblance was striking, and Philip kicked himself for not recognizing the boy.
“My precious baby! Oh thank you so much -- Flip, madam, how can I ever repay you?” The cobbler’s wife cried tears of relief when the maiden let her son out of her own arms, the boy running back to his mother.
“Don’t be silly, I’m only glad it did not take long for you to be reunited.” She replied. Now that her hand was freed, it once again twined through with Philip’s, an almost subconscious decision that Philip had no intention of bringing up, lest she change her mind.
“Bless you, oh bless you.” The cobbler’s wife surged forward and placed a kiss to each of their cheeks, before gently scolding her son as they walked away, “Darling what have I told you about running off, you gave me a heart attack!”
In the wake of the momentary drama, the maiden couldn’t help but smile at Philip.
“Your name is Flip?” She inquired, and Philip kicked himself – he had never actually introduced himself after all this time.
“It’s a nickname.” He corrected, before bowing with good manners like the gentleman he was as he said dramatically, “Philip Zimmerman at your service.”
“That’s a strong name. You wear it with pride, I can tell.” The maiden laughed at his theatrics, a sound which warmed his heart.
“It’s the only name I’ve ever had.” Philip mused, “So I suppose I have to, don’t I?”
“I suppose so, yes.” She chuckled at him softly, her eyes kind even though they were teasing. He felt no malice from her, and therefore allowed the jests to go unreprimanded.
At the thought of jesting, Philip was reminded of the stages which had been constructed in the now-harvested fields of lavender. Stages where jesters and comedians alike tried to rouse crowds, nestled among smaller stages where those who felt lucky could try their hand at various games and competitions.
“Come, let me show you more of the festival, there are games to be played.” Philip squeezed her hand adoringly, watching in delight as her eyes lit up.
“Games! Oh that sounds wonderful!” She breathed, and Philip could have sworn that he never felt more alive than when he began to run, tugging him along towards the promise of entertainment like that which she had never before seen.
                                                 ---------------------
Hours later, many hours later, when the sun had gone down and the crickets had come out to play, their songs filling the air with a symphony of chirping, Philip sat  conflicted. He never wanted this evening to end, because he knew that once it did, this woman that he had decidedly given his heart to would have to leave him…and if she only came to visit for the festival, he did not know if he would ever see her again.
The two of them found themselves sitting alone near the drinking well, after enjoying the last of their dinner together. The maiden was even more beautiful in the moonlight, if such a thing were possible, and Philip spent a great deal trying to figure out how to express that. She didn’t seem to mind the silence, her eyes closed as she rested her head against his shoulder, comfortable with the tranquility.
“I must confess, I have never met anyone like you before.” Philip said eventually, his voice quiet.
“Nor I to be sure.” She replied, the pinky of her hand gently looping around his much larger one. When she spoke again, it was with a breathless sort of sadness that told him she didn’t want to leave him either. Plaintively, she looked up at him and sighed, “Oh Philip…”
“May I kiss you?” He dared to hope aloud, hoping that this time they would not be interrupted.
The smallest of smiles graced her lips, and she gave him a gentle nod. Joy simmering underneath his skin, Philip leaned in and pressed a small, chaste kiss to her lips. She was every bit as sweet as he had imagined she would be, and when she sighed against his mouth and allowed her lips to part, Philip thought he was going to pass out from the way her tongue welcomed his in.
Like that, the carpenter and the young maiden kissed underneath the stars, the last of the festival dying down in the distance. By the drinking well, Philip’s heart soared, as he cupped her cheek with one of his rough palms, and she only leaned into it, nuzzling her face further.
“I’m afraid.” She admitted with a whisper when they broke apart, only far enough to breathe, their foreheads and noses still touching.
“With me, you have nothing to fear.” Philip promised, not knowing why she should be afraid, but wanting her to understand that should she allow him, he would protect her from any kind of harm, from now until always.
He needn’t say the words, for she heard them anyway, and leaned in for another kiss, one that he was happy to give, one that he found himself always willing and eager to give.
So wrapped up in the embrace were they, that the clock-tower struck eleven times nearly unnoticed, until on the twelfth time, the maiden pulled away sharply, eyes wide, afraid.
“Shit, is that the final evening bell?” She scrambled to stand, pulling herself away from the warm arms that had surrounded her.
Philip frowned, confused, worried for her. Was this what she meant by afraid? He had so many questions, only getting so far as “Yes but – ”
“I must go! I’m sorry – ” She interrupted him desperately, regret and terror and sadness plaguing her voice.
The maiden began to dash away, and Philip chased after her, managing to take her hand and pull her towards him with a plea.
“Wait! Please wait, please don’t go.” Philip cupped her cheeks and felt the cold of dread flood through him, realizing belatedly that -- “You never told me your name!”
“It’s (Y/N)!” The maiden ducks out of his grip with a look of despair, torn between wanting to stay and needing to leave. “I must go, or else I’ll be in trouble, big trouble.”
Against his better judgement, Philip releases the maiden. He wouldn’t dare disrespect her wishes, no matter how desperately he wished that she could stay with him.
“Will I ever see you again?” He chased after her still, not wanting to let her out of his sights just yet.
“I hope so.” She threw him a pained glance over her shoulder, her voice breaking as tears stung at her eyes, “I’m sorry!”
“That’s okay – I’ll, I’ll find you!” Philip promised, his voice carrying out into the night, “No matter how far you go, I’ll find you.”
With that, the maiden was gone.
On the far edge of the village, where the town met the mountains, Philip stood alone. He looked out at the vast expanse of the wood beyond him, and let out a deep sigh.
Just then, he noticed the moonlight twinkling on something that had fallen to the ground. Picking it up, he realized it was one of the earrings that he had given her. It must have come free from her ear in her haste, and carefully, ever so gently, he picked it up and cradled it in his palm.
“I don’t know how, but I’ll find you.” He said to the earring, before clasping his hand around it and bringing it to his lips for a kiss.
                                                 ---------------------
                                                 ---------------------
The next morning, feeling a dark cloud of sorrow and frustration beginning to form over his head, Philip dressed himself and began his trek to the palace once more. As part of the negotiations, the King and Queen of Springs Valley had told him that they would pay him his commissioned fee after the work was completed, so that he would not run off with the sum. He thought this perfectly reasonable, although really, who was he to argue with the royals?
The only thing keeping him in a good mood was the anticipation of this payment, which he had, through the night, decided he would use to travel and find (Y/N), which he had silently pledged his devotion to.
He figured she must be in one of the neighboring villages, which weren’t all that far away. Using the payment from the monarchy, Philip decided he would purchase himself the materials and means to ride across the Valley in search of her. But when he got far enough into town on the walk passing through so that he could reach the Purple Palace, he noticed that everyone was gathered in the town square, a concerned hush fallen over a crowd.
Frowning, Philip stood at the edge of this crowd, and tapped the shoulder of a young man to get his attention.
“What’s going on?” He demanded to know, for this was no merry enjoyment of a festival, no no, this was a concerning sort of apprehension and worry.  
“Haven’t you heard? There’s been a kidnapping.” The young man explained, growing more impassioned with every word, “Someone has taken the princess! The princess from the Purple Palace! I always knew she was real, apparently the king and queen received a ransom note from King Felix of the Forbidden Forest -- and are on the verge of waging war.”
At this news, Philip staggered back a few feet.
The rumors of the princess were true? She was real? And she had been kidnapped?
Philip didn’t have much time, it would seem. He needed to get his payment and get out now, before any war were to begin. He needed to find the beautiful woman that stole his heart, and make sure she was safe from harm. Without so much as even a goodbye, Philip broke into a running pace, his mind clouded as his feet carried him to the palace.
                                                 ---------------------
Bursting through the doors, he bowed deeply, out of breath yet respectful.
“Your majesties, I have heard of your tragedy and I am so sorry to hear that such a thing has come to pass.” Philip broke royal protocol by speaking to them first, wanting simply to get what he came for, and get out of their hair.
The royals were, by all accounts, despaired. The Queen wept on her throne, her face buried in her hands, and the King’s sadness manifested in a snappish, “What do you want?”
They were no longer warm and welcoming as they had once been, but Philip could not blame them; their daughter was taken from them after all.
“I come to fetch my payment, for the commission.” Philip boldly requested, making the King frown.
“Your what? No I don’t think so, not now.” He waved the carpenter away, shocking Philip.
“…With all due respect, your majesty, you promised – ”
“I said no! There is war to be had, the money will go towards that instead. I do not expect you to understand.” The King shouted, before his shoulders sagged and he slumped back in his throne.
Philip chewed on his lip for a moment. He could see the palace guards approaching him, ready to throw him out, ready to haul him and drag him out if necessary…but Philip needed that money. He needed it so that he could search for (Y/N). So, without thinking, he blurted out the only solution his mind had thought of:
“What if there need not be a war?”
The King and Queen both looked at him then, eyebrows drawn in confusion.
“I beg your pardon?” The Queen, with her scratchy sorrow-filled voice demanded of this…this…this peasant.
Philip stood tall and strong under their gaze, squared his shoulders and lifted his chin.
“Allow me to retrieve the princess.” He requested, and tried to ignore the snickers and incredulous chuckles of the palace guards behind him.
“You!” The King scoffed, feeling like the cause was well and truly hopeless. “Why you wouldn’t last one night out in the Forbidden Forest, let alone make it all the way to King Felix’s fortress.”
“Allow me to try. Give me five days, if I have not returned by then, assume me dead and send your armies.” Philip insisted, “But if I do return with the princess, I expect double the payment for my commission.”
This was a risk, he knew, but he was certain it was something he could pull off. He knew the mountains like the back of his hand, he spent his entire life in the wood! He knew the paths and the trails, and most importantly, with King Felix expecting an army, he would never suspect a lone carpenter to be of any threat.
The Queen seemed to be thinking the very same thing, because after a moment or two of shocked silence, she stood up from her throne and descended the many steps which kept her elevated. She descended those steps with grace and poise, and when she finally stopped in front of Philip, he got down on one knee.
Placing a hand on Philip’s shoulder, a move which stunned everyone in the royal court, the Queen promised softly, “My boy, if you return with our princess, I will grant you anything your heart desires, and on that you have my word.”
                                                 ---------------------
And so, Philip’s journey began.
Riding atop the gentle steed that had accompanied him on many a trip into the mountains, and equipped with nothing but his carpentry tools, Philip set off discreetly, quietly. There could be no fanfare, no one in the village could even know what he was up to, lest the evil King Felix catch word.
He had put a sign on his workshop’s door saying that he had gone out of town, but he did not say for what. It felt slightly wrong, leaving the village without another word like that, but all the while he kept one thing in mind: the sooner he rescued the princess, the sooner he could begin to search for his lovely (Y/N).
The mountains were quiet for a long while, the better part of the day in fact. He and his horse had ridden through the winding trails that so many before him had traveled, trails that were easy and comfortable. He wasn’t very far outside the village yet, so things were relatively tame. It wasn’t until dusk began to fall, that he noticed a steady plume of chimney smoke up in the distance.
A chimney meant a house, which meant possible shelter for the night. Philip allowed himself to hope that perhaps the owner of the house would give him refuge, even if only for a few hours – and was so caught up in his daydreaming that he did not notice when a man jumped out of a tree a few feet in front of him, landing on his feet skillfully.
“Halt!” The man said, holding a hand outstretched, startling Philip’s horse.
“Woahh!” Philip tried to calm his steed, and when the beast was no longer threatening to buck him off its back, Philip cleared his throat and tried to be amiable, “Good day to you sir, what – ”
“None shall pass without besting me and my bow.” The man cut Philip off, making him raise his eyebrows.
“…Excuse me?” Philip sized the man up for a moment.
He was handsome, a well styled afro and neatly groomed beard denoting him as a man who prided himself on his appearance. His clothing followed suit in such a fashion – well tailored and made from expensive materials like silk, a brocade tunic shimmered in the warm light of the golden hour.
“You are trespassing on my land, and if you wish to leave with your life intact, you must best me in a test of archery.” The man did not budge, and Philip did not know how to proceed.
“But I have not bow nor arrow.” He explained, to which the man’s proud posture fell a little flat. For how could there be a competition if the competitors were not equally matched?
“Oh.” The man scratched at his beard for a moment or two, trying to come up with a solution. Eventually, he snapped his fingers with an elated smile that showed off brilliantly white teeth, “Well in that case, you may borrow some of mine!”
The man beckoned Philip to follow him, and with only a small amount of hesitation, Philip followed. What lay before them was a grand home, constructed of the most sturdy stone. A family crest that Philip did not recognize waved from flagpoles atop the home, but Philip didn’t need to recognize the crest for him to know that this was a noble home. This became increasingly evident as the man lead Philip to a field where a shed sat – a shed that looked larger than his entire home.
“What’s the test?” Philip asked, having gotten off of his horse and walked up to the man.
He handed Philip a beautifully constructed bow, and three sharpened arrows. He then pointed to two targets way across the other side of the field, so far away that Philip had a hard time locating them at first.
“Best of three shots, whoever gets the most bullseyes is the victor.” The man announced, and Philip gave a single nod in agreement.
It was no secret in the village that Philip had some of the best eyesight around, he needed to. Spending so many hours staring at intricately fine details in his woodwork had sharpened his skills considerably, but more than that Philip also hunted for his own food, as much of the village did. Nearly every weekend Philip went into the mountains to shoot, and every weekend he was successful.
This man did not know that, but it did not matter. The only thing that mattered, was Philip getting this over as quickly as possible so that he could be reunited with his maiden.
Stepping up to a line of dirt in the field, the man allowed Philip to take the first shot. He steadied his aim, took in a deep breath and fired – bullseye! Philip gestured to the man, who went next. With expert precision, he too shot his first arrow directly into the bullseye of the target. 
Philip went again, and again he scored a bullseye, so precisely in fact, that this arrow managed to split straight through the previous one. Shocked, the man looked Philip up and down, as if trying to recognize him from a past archery competition. Philip only gave him a shrug, and watched as he too split his previous arrow into two pieces.
Each man only had one arrow left, and Philip knew that this was the one that mattered most. If he struck his bullseye, he surely would be allowed to pass. Closing his eyes, he focused not on the setting of the sun, or of the breeze in the air that evening brought, but of his (Y/N). He visualized her smiling face, her lips upon his, and released his bow into the air.
It soared through the great open field with precision and struck the target with a determination that Philip mirrored in his soul. He cracked one eye open, and saw that the arrow had indeed landed on the bullseye! Not nearly as well as the other two arrows had, but it was undeniably a success.
With a huff, the man raised his own bow and arrow for the final time, and pulled back a little too forcefully out of anger at being bested – causing the bow to snap and the arrow to go flying rogue.
“Dammit!” The man shouted, stumbling backwards, his hand in pain from the recoil of the broken bow.
“Look out!” Philip urged, because what went up must come down, and Philip charged at the man, tackling him to the ground, knocking him out of the way of the arrow which was making its return to Earth directly in the spot where the man had been standing.
Bewildered, the man looked up at Philip with admiration, as he stood away from the nobleman.
“Here, let me help you up.” Philip insisted, “Take my hand.”
“What is your name?” The man asked, accepting the offer and allowing Philip to haul him to his feet.
“Philip Zimmerman, but call me Flip. Yours?” Philip gave him a hearty pat on the shoulder to make sure he was alright, as the two got their footing. The men looked at the arrow in the ground, noted how it had buried itself deep.
“Lord Ronald Stallworth, but you may call me Ron.” Ron replied, with a polite nod of his head. “You are a most accomplished archer, Flip. Where are you headed? I don’t get many visitors out this way.”
Philip looked around, looked over his shoulder, wanting to make sure no one was around to hear.
“The Princess has been kidnapped, and I have been tasked on a secret mission to retrieve her.” He explained, hoping that Ron would understand his urgency, “I’m sorry about your bow, Ron. But I must be going now.”
Philip began to walk back towards his horse, when Ron surprised him by jogging to catch up, walking alongside him.
“Wait!” Ron called, stopping in front of him for a moment to make Philip pause. Ron put his hands on Philip’s shoulders in a friendly gesture, and then pointed to himself, “You are a good man, Philip. Allow me to join you on your quest! I know these woods well, I could be of assistance to you. Two archers are better than one, wouldn’t you say?”
“Why do you want to join me?” Philip frowned. Ron was rich, he had a luxurious home and accommodations, surely that would be more comfortable than a rugged trip up the mountains.
Ron chuckled at his question, and scratched at his beard once more.
“To tell you the truth, it’s pretty fucking boring here waiting for someone to pass by for a challenge. And you are the first man who has ever bested me, I am eager to see where your journey takes you. Where it takes us.” Ron looked hopeful, and Philip reasoned that he was right, two archers were better than one.
“I’d be happy to have you join, Ron.” Philip agreed, officially adding a new member to his party.
                                                 ---------------------
Not only did Ron allow Philip to spend the night in his large home, but he also ordered his kitchen staff to cook a grand meal for them to enjoy. Philip was grateful for the strength, particularly as Ron was rich, and had no worries about running out of food any time soon, so the portions were large, and there was more than enough leftover to be packaged for the road.
“So, a princess, huh?” Ron asked around a bite of venison, thoughtful and yet slightly confused.
“Yeah, that’s right.” Philip sighed, slightly annoyed at this interruption of his plan to find the maiden.
Ron frowned into his potatoes, confessing, “I didn’t know that we had one.”
At this, Philip let out an honest laugh and shrugged, chugging a large gulp of sweet mead.
“To tell you the truth? Up until this morning, I didn’t either.” Philip admitted, which made Ron laugh too. They cheered goblets, and indulged in another drink at the situation before them. “I thought the whole thing was a bunch of bullshit rumors, but then there it is in the square: Princess Kidnapped.”  
“The reward must be great then, for you to go on such a dangerous journey alone to retrieve her.” Ron noted casually, but Philip shrugged.
“Only that which I have been owed, is all that I’m asking.” He replied cryptically.
Of course he had decided he would give Ron a portion of the money for his help, but he didn’t necessarily want anyone knowing just how big of a reward it truly was. In any case, Ron was a Lord, and probably spent that very amount on a month’s worth of goods.
“I wonder what your wife must think of such selflessness.” Ron replied with a grin then, making Philip’s mood soften.
“I…I have no wife to speak of, though I should hope that if I had, she wouldn’t find fault in me for it.” Philip’s voice was quiet, thoughtful. He hadn’t really allowed himself to think about it, about what would happen should he find (Y/N).
Now it only seemed logical, the most obvious step, for him to court her and hopefully, one day, marry her. But that was a dream, one that Philip couldn’t get too ahead of himself to dwell on. He needed to make it back with the Princess alive first and foremost.
“Forgive me.” Ron’s voice too quieted, and he cleared his throat, “It’s just, I can see the love in your eyes, I was wrong to assume.”
“What do you mean?” Philip asked, a frown dipping between his eyebrows.
Ron mused and mulled over a bite of roasted vegetables, tried to best explain himself. He eventually settled on the truth: “It affects everyone differently, love. But every lover I have ever known as the undeniable sparkle in their eye, as do you.”
“Well…there is someone…” Philip admitted, a blush blooming across his cheeks.
“Ah-ha! Tell me all about her my good man.” Elated, Ron clapped his hands together once and let a happiness light up his face.
“Her name is (Y/N), we met last night.” Philip blushed deeper, reminiscing in the fantasy that had been their time together at the festival. “I am hoping that when all this is over, I might find her and see her again.”
“Well then, we must get our rest and leave at the first light of morning! For it is a long journey to the forbidden wood, and then a long journey back.” Ron replied.
Encouraged by his enthusiasm, Philip ate the rest of the food on his plate with a newfound vigor. Perhaps he could do this, he reasoned. With a man like Ron at his side, who had such skill and obvious charm, the two of them could be unstoppable.
When the dinner was over, they retired to their respective rooms, and Philip allowed himself to let sleep wash over his mind, thoughts of his fair maiden dancing in his head.
                                                 ---------------------
The next morning, true to his word, Ron woke Philip at the break of dawn. During the night, his servants had prepared a bundle for which Philip and Ron would travel, including the leftover food, canteens of fresh water, and a change of clean clothes. Additionally, Philip was provided with a bow and a set of arrows to use all his own. Philip was grateful for it, and the two set off in amicable company, listening to the sounds of the trees and nature sing around them.
They managed to cover much ground in the morning, passing the time by talking of themselves. Ron told Philip all about how his family came from a long line of nobility, and that he inherited the estate from his father. Philip told Ron all about how he too in a way, inherited his trade from his father. Though they came from different places, the two found more in common with one another than they found differences.
All in all, it was a wonderful friendship that had begun to form, and Philip and Ron found themselves in a fit of laughter at a joke Ron had told, when they came to a large stone bridge that sat high up above a gorge of water. Standing in front of the bridge was a tall man, with long sandy hair, and an expression on his face that told Philip he meant business.
“Halt!” The man said, his voice commanding of attention, “Who goes there?”
Philip and Ron looked at one another, and as Ron had a higher rank of authority, he was the one to reply.
“We are Lord Ron Stallworth, and Flip Zimmerman, who speaks?” Ron asked in return, and the man straightened his posture, before bowing slightly, not realizing he was in the presence of nobility.
“I am Jimmy Creek my Lord, owner of this bridge. If you wish to cross, you must pay the toll.” Jimmy introduced himself, making Philip look at Ron.
“Do you have any money on you?” Philip whispered, assuming the answer was yes, and being unfortunately surprised when Ron gave him an embarrassed wince.
“Shit, no. Didn’t think we’d need it for such a short trip, you?” Ron whispered back, making Philip’s mind race to find a solution.
“We have no coins to spare. May we pass by another means? Or perhaps I could send money to you once we have returned?” Philip asked, hoping that Jimmy would be reasonable. He looked like a reasonable sort of fellow, anyway.
Jimmy thought on this for a while, before brandishing the sword that he kept on his hip. The metal glinted in the afternoon light, throwing sparks of sunshine all around as he twirled it and whirled it around effortlessly.
“If you can best me in a fight, then you may pass.” Jimmy announced, and Philip chewed on the inside of his cheek.
“I haven’t got a sword.” He replied honestly, and this stumped Jimmy, for what travelers did not move through these mountains without a sword?
“Oh. Well in that case, you can borrow one of mine.” Jimmy snapped his fingers then, and beckoned Philip over to him as he walked back to a small hut near the bridge.
It was humble, made of stone and wood, and looked similar to one of the dwellings he might see in his own village. Philip waited outside while Jimmy rummaged through his hut and eventually emerged with a sword for Philip to use.
The sword was beautiful. Obviously crafted with care, the grip happened to be the perfect size for Philip’s hand, the jewel crusted pommel and cross-guard weighted just enough to counter balance the long blade. Philip wondered where a man like Jimmy came across such a thing, as he gave it a few experimental twists and spins.
Philip had virtually no training in swordsmanship, except for that of the surprise attacks that the village children waged on him. Jimmy was no child though, and this made Philip gulp, doubting his chances – until Jimmy began to run at him full speed ahead, and the only thing Philip could think about was winning.
Swords clanged, great big sparks flying into the air as they went after one another again and again. Jimmy may have been older, but he was nimble, quick on his feet. Philip found he could not use his sheer size and strength alone, although this certainly helped him. Dodging and ducking away from Jimmy’s blows, Philip pushed pushed pushed Jimmy back, until the two of them began to move down the bridge.
Below them, the gorge rushed with water furiously hungry, white frothy waves of grey-blue water crashing and smacking against craggy cliff walls. Out there on the bridge, the wind had no place to buffer against, and both men began to realize that one strong gust of wind could very well send them over.
The sounds of their swords echoed through the gorge, as did their grunts of effort from trying to best one another. Jimmy would lunge, and Philip would jump back, waiting for a moment to lunge himself. Their swords met in a flurry of silver metal, blade swinging expertly and with deadly precision.
He thought of the children in the village, thought of the way his beloved (Y/N) might interact with them. How she might cheer them on as they attacked Philip in the very same manner that Jimmy now was. Spinning his sword in the same way that he had watched the young boy from the village all that time ago, Philip managed to generate enough momentum in his arms to block every single sharp and quick blow that Jimmy sent his way.
Back back back Philip pushed Jimmy, his arm muscles flexing and his feet planted on the ground – until he gave Jimmy a particularly harsh swing of his sword, and in the effort to block it, not only did Jimmy’s hand lose its grip on his sword, but Jimmy stumbled backwards and fell, the wind striking at the worst possible moment, sending Jimmy over the edge of the bridge.
“Oh fuck!” Ron’s shout traveled from the other end of the bridge where he waited with the horses, watching with wide eyes, a hand clasped over his mouth as Philip ran to the edge.  
Jimmy was dangling precariously close to death, his hands scrabbling for a grip on the rough and rocky side of the bridge that did not promise much purchase. The wind howled and whipped up the spray of water from a thousand feet below, a taste of the certain death Jimmy would face should he fall.
“Quick, take my hand!” Philip shouted over the rush of the wind and water and the pulse in his veins, letting his own sword clatter onto the stone of the bridge as he reached out.
Without hesitation, Jimmy grasped the offered hand and Philip hauled him back onto the bridge safely, Philip’s muscles making quick work of the effort. Exhausted from their fight and this momentary scare, the two men simply laid on their backs on the bridge, catching their breath.
“You spared me?” Incredulously, Jimmy regarded Philip who was not more than a few feet away on the narrow structure of stone.
“Of course, why should I kill you?” Philip replied, a friendly smile teasing at his lips.
“Thank you, Philip. You are a good man.” Jimmy said seriously, and Philip blushed, he wasn’t sure about all that, it’s just, who was he to end a man’s life? Jimmy glanced at the beautiful sword that “You can keep that, you’ve earned it.”
Philip too looked at the sword, at how beautiful it was. Because really, the thing shone in the light magnificently, the jewels sparkling and shimmering in the rays of the sun. Philip was entranced, absolutely entranced by it, but he could not lay around and stare at it all day. He had a princess to rescue, and a maiden to love.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Philip asked as he stood up, helping Jimmy up too.
“I’m sure.”
“We’ll be on our way then.” Philip gave him a nod, and then gestured for Ron to come over with the horses and join them, eager to continue on their way.
“Wait! Allow me to accompany you on your quest?” Jimmy asked, eyes wide with a sudden anxiety.
At this, Ron and Philip looked at one another and then back at him, a slight frown on their faces.
“Why?” Ron asked, looking him up and down, wondering what Jimmy was suddenly so anxious.
“Truth be told, I’m really sick of sitting around on this fucking bridge. My father sat on this bridge as did his – but I never wanted to. This is my chance at something new, something different!” He then turned to Philip, “I see you have bows and arrows, but in combat you’d be best to do with an extra swordsman, and that I can provide. Besides, you’re the only person to ever give me a run for my money like that – I respect you.”
Philip understood that feeling all too well, the ache in his bones for a different life than the one that was promised to him. He had been given a chance for this quest, and now he could do the very same for this man, he could give Jimmy a chance of his own.
Looking at Ron to gauge his reaction, Ron looked back, and then nodded with a great big grin, “Oh I don’t see why not, welcome to the group.”
“Thank you! I won’t let you down!” Jimmy excitedly hugged them both, his long sandy-blonde hair blowing in the breeze as he ran back to his hut just on the other side of the bridge.
When he came back, he had a horse of his own, and a bag already packed. Philip smiled, he must have had this bag packed for quite some time. It made something inside Philip’s chest warm – one was never too old for adventure, a truth that continued to make itself evident.
“Say, where are we headed anyway?” Jimmy asked, sheathing his sword in the holster on his hip.
“To the forbidden wood, to rescue the princess that’s been kidnapped by King Felix.” Philip responded, sure that no one could hear them up on the bridge the way they were.
Jimmy frowned and looked at Ron, scratching the back of his neck and asking, “We have a princess?”
Ron burst out laughing and slapped Jimmy on the back, “That’s what I said!”                                                  ---------------------
                                             ---------------------
Tagging some friends! Part 2 will be up tomorrow :) @mochabucky @sacklerscumrag @artsymaddie @bitchydecisions @direnightshade @reyloaddict55 @thembohux @kylorenswhxre @sunflowersinthesnow @babayagakeanu @safarigirlsp @rennasiance-mama @steeevienicks @mousemakingjam @the-unmanaged-mischief @materialisthicc @drake-bells-waxed-penis @slut-for-harri @littleevilme13 @erys-targaryen @leillaa @hswritingrecs @miabelay11 @han68000 @rosi3ba3z @chapterhappygirl​ @loverofallthings​ 
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sarahjtv · 3 years
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BNHA Chapter 319 Spoiler Analysis: Found Family
Holy crap what a phenomenal chapter!  This arc in general has been great, but this chapter might be one of my favorites of the arc.  Not just because it focuses on Class 1-A (I’m so glad to see the kids again), but because of the growth we see in these kids in general especially Bakugo and Shoto IMO.  Like, holy shit ESPECIALLY BAKUGO!  I stand by my opinion that Bakugo is one of the best developed characters in the series.  There’s so much I want to say about this chapter and I’ll try my best to do so if my poor injured left hand will let me 😭:
The chapter starts off with the first of 3 colored pages we’re going to get over the next few weeks to celebrate 7 YEARS OF MY HERO ACADEMIA!!!  CONGRATS, HORIKOSHI-SENSEI!!!  This series revived my love of anime/manga and really helped me in some really rough spots in my life.  I will forever be grateful towards Horikoshi for bringing this series to life and blessing us with such an incredible story full of beautiful characters.  MHA may be a little overrated, but I still think it deserves all the love it can get.  
Anyway, the color page.  It shows Uraraka, Iida (who has red eyes here, so IDK why the anime gives him blue eyes though I do think they work better for him personally *shrugs*), Shoto, Tokoyami, and Bakugo after basically figuring out where Deku went.  Bakugo is shown tearing up his letter (which says something like “Thank you for being there, Kacchan”; there’s more but I can’t translate it 😭) and you can kinda see some bandage wrap around his arm where he was stabbed.  Also, both Bakugo and Shoto still have some visible injuries on their faces and Bakugo’s hands, so they’re still recovering from the War.  It’s a really pretty page in general and I can’t wait to see what the next 2 color pages are going to look like.  I also kinda want Horikoshi to take a break after this too again so he doesn’t overwork himself.  Maybe he’ll treat himself to the MHA: World Heroes Mission movie 🍿.  
So, Shoto and Bakugo have figured out that Deku is most likely with Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist.  Problem is that none of them are answering their phones.  I like that Bakugo calls Best Jeanist “Pair of Denim Pants” 😂 and Shoto’s image of Endeavor is still a very angry version of his old man.  Shoto’s still making amends with his father, but he’s still not THERE yet.  Regardless, these kids are smart enough to know that something’s up.  Especially since All Might hasn’t returned to UA either.
It’s basically confirmed by Ojiro that because classes have been suspended, our Class 1-A kids are still 1-A; they haven’t moved into their second year yet.  That clears up the confusion on whether we should still refer these group of kids as 1-A still or not.  
Now Bakugo’s showing how much of a genius he really is despite his personality.  Bakugo figures out that the Top 3 and All Might are working together as a group based on how they all connected with each other back at Central Hospital.  Also, Bakugo concludes that All Might snuck Deku’s letters under their doors while Deku started running.  Ultimately, Bakugo does know more about Deku and All Might more than anyone else does.  He’s been around his childhood friend and he’s admired his idol longer than most people have.  Bakugo understands how bad the situation is and he’s ready to take action.  
As are the other kids.  You can see how determined they are and you can see Kirishima’s black roots coming in 🥺!  Even Uraraka gets some shine here by bringing up the idea to trick Endeavor to come via getting help from Principle Nezu as Endeavor was a UA student.  It’s really interesting to see Ochako in a more serious roll than usual, but I actually like it.  I hope she’s still as bubbly as she always was at the end of the day, but she’s definitely matured and grown a lot over the corse of the series.  Even the simple things like her hair show it as it’s not as floaty as it was before.  I love it when Horikoshi shows small details like this.  It adds to the characters and stories a lot.  Also, the art in this chapter is amazing.
And now it’s Endeavor vs. Class 1-A in a much needed conversation.  All the kids are wearing their school uniforms to make this as formal and serious as they can.  EVEN BAKUGO IS PROPERLY WEARING HIS TIE YOU KNOW SHIT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN!!!  And, I must say, Bakugo looks damn good with a tie 😳.  You can also get a decent height measurement on the kids here if you want.  Ngl, sometimes I forget that Shoto’s about 2 inches taller than Bakugo.  It’s definitely the hair.  
Shoto’s the first to step up and he scolds the hell out of his old man.  Rightfully so tbh.  Endeavor shouldn’t have ignored Shoto’s calls even though I kind of understood why.  Shoto reminds Endeavor of their plan to stop Dabi though thankfully that’s what’s pushing Endeavor forward so he hasn’t forgotten.  Shoto calls his father “Endeavor” and gets mad at him fro leaving Deku and All Might alone.  The rough translations say he called Izuku “Deku” here too btw.  Endeavor has no response.  I think this anger Shoto’s unleashing is very justified and has been burning inside him since Deku left UA.  His best friend just up and left him and his friends with nothing but a letter to kinda explain things.  Also, Shoto and the rest of 1-A (minus Bakugo) have basically been lied to for about a year.  I’d want answers too if someone did that to me.  
Bakugo steps in by putting a hand on Shoto’s shoulder (🥺) to calm him down a bit and to say his piece.  Ultimately, he thinks what Deku is doing is right, but that the way they’re all doing it is wrong.  I love Deku and All Might, but they’re sacrificial idiots.  They care more about others than they probably ever will themselves.  That’s how All Might lost his OFA in the first place.  It’s because of that that All Might doesn’t have it in him to stop Deku from going down this path.  They shouldn’t have been left alone.  Someone should’ve kept a closer eye on them.  I know the Top 3 were all worried about getting too close to Deku before, but really, someone should’ve been watching them closer on the sidelines.
The next page is a really cool drawing of Endeavor flinging his phone to the kids to catch.  The previous panels showed Endeavor with this face that’s regretful and I think he realized something: That Bakugo is right and that the kids might be better off finding Deku than he is.  So he basically gives the kids his GPS on his phone.  Those are just my thoughts, but it does look like that.  I don't think Endeavor’s just going to up and give up though.  He’s probably going to start rethinking things though.
As Sero manages to catch Endeavor’s phone, he and the rest of the kids think about how even though they’ve only known Deku for a year, they still think of him as family and cannot let him go down this thorny path alone.  They’ll carry the OFA burden with him if they have to.  They can’t smile without Deku around.  These kids truly have become a family over the year.  It’s amazing to see.  Everyone’s like a brother and sister and it’s really nice to see.  I just love Found Family stories, guys 😭❤️
And really quick, I want to focus on my ❄️🔥 boy, Shoto, really quick.  As he’s thinking about Deku, he mentions how shocked he still is about Deku keeping OFA from them and how Deku thought just a letter would suffice.  He has this sad look on his face like he’s trying to say: “I still can’t believe my best friend hid this from me for so long.  Why?  Did he not trust me?”  That’s just my interpretation.  Still, I can’t imagine how upset Shoto must feel.  I think he still cares a lot about Deku enough to go out and find him, but he’s gotta feel some sort of betrayal.  More so than the other students outside of Bakugo because, again, Deku was essentially Shoto’s best and closest friend 💙😭
Endeavor is rightfully worried about letting the kids out in the state of Japan right now, but now Principle Nezu speaks up and praises the kids on growing up so well.  He’s also took into account Deku's feelings about his mission which is why he agreed to the team up.  Also, Deku’s still welcome back to UA whenever he wants thank god ☺️.  He’s a student who has to be protected.  There’s a cute panel of Uraraka and her mom crying happily after getting her acceptance letter too.  Not 100% why this is shown other than Acceptance Letter part, but it’s cute to see.  Maybe Ochako realizes how much Deku needs to be protected or something.
As for the refugees, Nezu had the security system strengthened in time for the Cultural Festival earlier, but they never used it before.  It’s call The UA Barrier.  God, how strong is this thing?  Is it strong enough to stop Shigaraki who was able to Decay the last barrier?  This seems like something that’ll be used in the final battle TBH.  
So, Nezu trust the 1-A kids to bring Deku back home.  Which is exactly what they plan to do as all 19 of them enter Kamino in a badass full page.  I actually wasn’t sure if all 19 of them were there at first since I couldn’t find Shoto for the life of me, but then my eyes saw the BIG-ASS ICE WALL IN THE BACK AND I THOUGHT “OH THERE HE IS!!!” LOL 😂 
The next panel actually does show Shoto with Momo as they capture the villain from the last chapter.  Momo politely calls Bakugo “Bakugo-san”, but Bakugo demands that he be called his insane hero name: “GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GOD DYNAMIGHT”!  I CAN’T WITH THIS DUDE SOMETIMES WHY DO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 💥🧡
Deku sees his friend and wonders why they came.  Ochako answers because that they were worried about him, but Deku tries to convince everyone (including himself) that he’s fine.  He’s obviously not and Bakugo calls TF out on him!  He even drops a good F-bomb for good measure.  Bakugo mocks Deku for trying to act like All Might and asks Deku if he can even smile right now.  I actually really like it that Bakugo’s calling Deku out on his shit.  I think Deku needs some good tough love right now to knock some sense into him.  Who would be better to do that than Katsuki Bakugo himself?
As Deku is trying to convince everyone that’s he’s fine (while still looking like a demon btw), there’s a small focus on Iida.  Actually, a few panels this chapter have focused on Iida.  Maybe he’s remembering the time Deku saved him back when they went up against Stain.  Deku saved him then so it’s now Iida’s turn to save Deku.  Also, Iida hasn’t gotten much focus lately and I really like his character, so I’m glad he’s being brought back to the forefront again.  Also, I like hearing Kaito-san’s voice in general so I’d be happy to hear him again (thanks for that one, Haikyuu).
The final spread shows Deku telling everyone to move away while Bakugo, Iida, and Ochako get ready to stop him.  IT’S DEKU VS. CLASS 1-A!!!  WE’RE ENTERING CIVIL WAR FOLKS!!!  Seriously, though, this is great.  I was thinking that it would be just Bakugo and a few other students finding Deku.  Instead we got the whole class.  And looks like that “helping hand” thing will happen later because we got a battle to fight first.  
Bakugo’s become a damn fine leader and I love to see his growth every freaking time🧡! I like how Iida has his hand on Bakugo’s back to support him btw.  It’s weird that Shoto’s not in this page though.  He’s one of Deku’s best friends, so I would think he would be in this page along with Bakugo and his first 2 friends (Ochako and Iida).  Maybe Horikoshi’s saving Shoto for a more 1-on-1 conversation with Deku.  God, I hope that happens because I think along with Bakugo, Shoto deserves a good talk with Deku the most.  
Honestly, I’m not sure who would win this battle.  I’ve been going through scenarios in my head on who would win, but I can’t come to a solid answer.  Class 1-A has 19 versatile Quirks under their belt and they have more energy than Deku to fight, but Deku still has 6 insanely powerful Quirks that he’s been practicing for a while.  The kids could probably win if they strategize enough and use Deku’s exhaustion against him, but again, Deku has OFA and multiple other Quirks.  If he could beat Lady Nagant, one of the best snipers around, he might be able to beat the 1-A kids.  He could just escape with Smoakscreen, Black Whip, and Float if he wants to really.  That would put 1-A on another wild goose chase.  There’s also Deku’s Danger Sense which will be a pain to deal with.  Also, Deku said that he’s as strong as All Might was in his prime with Fa-Jin and OFA combined.  Only AFO and Shigaraki were strong enough to take on THAT.  Plus, we still don’t know what the 2nd OFA Holder’s Quirk is yet.  Deku might use it in this battle.  God, I have so many theories in my head now.  I think this battle will be awesome, but ultimately, I want Deku to come home 😭💚
Me reading and loving My Hero Academia: 
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sodone-withlife · 3 years
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i know who i am
summary: really, he never saw himself ever willingly letting anyone in on his broken past, but here he was, sitting in across from Waipo in the tiny cramped office at the back of the shop and nervously sweating about what he was about to tell her
read it on ao3: chapter 1 is the original version with Mandarin, chapter 2 has everything translated into English
the movie really hit me hard as an ABC, and I really wanted to write something for it. even though she barely had any screentime, I loved Waipo—she reminds me of so many of my relatives—so I decided to make her be one of the most important people in Shangqi’s life, and it turned into this wonderful mess (i had to stop writing this for a bit because I literally made myself cry). there is mandarin in this, it's kind of intended to be a physical manifestation of how my bilingual brain works (i did put the English-only version first, the original version with Mandarin is under that one but the formatting for it one is better on ao3, so i suggest reading it from there). apologies for my shitty mandarin; I have mediocre language skills, but I'm still so excited to be able to incorporate it in my writing. in regards to the character's names: I only know for certain the Chinese characters used for Shangqi and Wenwu, but for Xialing, I'm going to go with what it apparently was in the hong kong release (夏灵, with 灵灵 as the nickname)
English Translation:
“Waipo, do you have a bit of time?” Shangqi stood in front of Katy’s grandma, fidgeting nervously as fluent Mandarin rolled off of his tongue with an ease he's never felt in any other part of his life. “I want to talk to you about something."
She pinned him with a knowing stare. “Does it have anything to do with the trip you and Katy went on this past week?" she asked, Not waiting for his answer, she got up from the shop register and beckoned him into the back office. Feeling oddly like the first time he came into the store years ago as a teen—when he first met Katy’s family who had since taken him under their wing—he followed her into the familiar, cramped space.
He wasn’t exactly sure what within him prompted this interaction. He had come to San Francisco for a normal life, to get as far away from his father’s reaches as he could and to outrun the blood that stained his footsteps.
Never did Shangqi imagine that he would end up claiming the ancient rings that now sat in a heavy-duty (thanks to Xialing, with whom he now keeps in regular contact because of the promise they made to each other before he left the compound because he already left her behind once, and he’s never doing it again damn, my baby sister is running the Ten Rings now, and she’s trying to turn it into something better) and a very well-disguised (thanks to the sorcerers in the New York Sanctum and holy shit he’s in contact with famous superheroes now) back in his mess of a studio apartment.
Never did he imagine letting anyone in on his broken past, and even though his hand had been forced when it came to telling Katy, here he was going to the second person who truly saw something in him when he first started his new life and planning to tell them everything.
(Okay, fine, Shangqi wasn’t actually planning on letting anyone else in on it after telling Waipo, not even the rest of Katy’s family, but he really didn’t want them to be so involved yet—he still had no idea what he himself was doing and he wants to preserve what normalcy he can.)
(Also, he’s been reliably informed that anyone close to a public figure is bound to be targeted for attacks—which he figured out when the mercenaries attacked on the bus because yes, Lingling, he does have brain cells thank you very much.)
“Little Dragon, what’s on your mind?”
Little Dragon.
He started at the nickname, the one originally given to him by his mother. Somehow, it had completely slipped his mind that Waipo also called him that, starting a few weeks after he first met the Chen family. He barely kept it together, the long-unused nickname dredging up memories he had thought left him forever.
You have the heart of a dragon, she had declared firmly when he asked her why she decided on that particular nickname.
(That was exactly what his mother had told him right before she died, and yet he stood by, hidden behind a door, and did nothing while the men beat and killed her, the heart of the family.)
(He would carry the guilt with him for a lifetime.)
It was a while before he could bring himself to visit the family again—there were a lot of awkward excuses before Katy reluctantly backed off—and it took even longer for him to get somewhat used to the name again, but he eventually started seeing it as a gift with each faint impression of happier days that he got every time Waipo called him that.
Old, weathered hands gently covered his own, which were shaking and clammy with nervousness. Shangqi wondered how Waipo would react to the darker side of the lost boy she had basically adopted all those years ago, wondered if the legends of Ta-Lo and the Great Protector were known outside of the rather insular communities that continued to tell the stories, wondered if she had heard about his father through the stories that were passed down for thousands of years, from generation to generation…
(It can’t be wrong to miss him, can it? Even with the years of hell Wenwu had put him through, he was still his father. Shangqi still faintly remembered the man his father had been when his mother was still alive, the happy times they shared as a normal family…)
(But those times were long gone, ripped from their grasp by the past Wenwu wanted so badly to leave behind. Grief had shattered the whole family, and it ultimately led to the children fighting the father who had been driven to near madness in his denial, in his quest to put his broken family back together again.)
Mom, I miss you so much.
(And now Wenwu is dead, just like his beloved wife.)
(But just as she died to protect her children, he did the same. Now, his children are reunited and in contact again, getting ever closer despite living as far apart as they did, and he was reunited with his love in the afterlife.)
Finally, he straightened his posture and took a deep breath, looking directly at Waipo, who he’d come to view as the grandmother he never had.
“Waipo, have you heard of the legend of the Ten Rings?”
And Shangqi told her everything.
He told her everything and more,
She listened.
She listened as he described the legends behind the Ten Rings, Ta-Lo, and the Great Protector; his father’s history; his own history, from witnessing his mother’s death to ripping open the throat of the man who killed her when he was barely a teen, from leaving Lingling behind to seeing her again in the fight club she built from the ground up, from returning to the compound after a decade away in San Francisco to the battle in Ta-Lo…
Finally, he fell silent and stared at his hands but it wasn’t long before Waipo moved, slowly standing up with one hand on her cane. He made to help stabilize her but was quickly waved off with a stern look. He sank back into the chair and felt her move behind him. The shaky weight of her hands on his shoulders as she gently pressed down and straightened his posture was familiar, even after years of not having his posture deliberately—so gently—fixed like that every time he saw Waipo.
“You are the legacy of all who came before you, but you are your own person.” she finally said gently, and the tension in his shoulders slowly loosened under her familiar touch. “You decide your own fate.”
~~~
That night, Shangqi knelt before the altar he had in his apartment, the only part that was carefully maintained in all the years he had lived there. But now, two smiling faces stared back at him, a joy reflected in their eyes that he knew would disappear in less than ten years after the photo was taken.
Am I still your pride and joy? Lingling grew up, but I didn’t even take care of her like I should have.
I swear to you, I will never abandon her again
Even as his life got even more unbelievable as the years went by, the altar and his copy of his parent’s wedding photo would remain a constant. He and Lingling dove deeper into their family history—of the Ten Rings, of Ta-Lo, of both the good and bad—and both worked to carry on their parents’ legacy.
(With all of the proper discretion agreements and threats when needed, of course.)
Lingling is dating my best friend now, and they’re so happy together. Mom, I know you would have loved Katy. Dad, I know you didn’t like her much, but she really is a wonderful person.
Life went on.
There were the good days, when he went out with others and could almost feel normal, and there were the bad days, when phantoms pains plagued him and he woke up from a restless sleep expecting to see bruises mottling his body like they did so often when he was younger.
(Also, he was considered a superhero now and holy shit that’s still insane, even years after he first got in contact with the Avengers and the sorcerers in New York. Now he was going all over the West Coast, to help the locals take care of whichever crazy supervillain decided to wreak havoc that day.)
Dad, I hope you find this story as funny as I did: I helped a group of American superheroes yesterday. They’ve never been to San Francisco before and were extremely unfamiliar with the roads, especially Lombard Street. They spent half an hour trying to drive down the street, but I ended up driving them down myself.
(San Francisco was still home, and he had found a life there with all his friends and Xialing whenever she visited. He had a job now, too, at the local youth center teaching martial arts and self-defense, teaching and guiding the youth in a way he wishes his father had with him.)
People came into his life; some stayed, some left, and some even got together.
Mom, Dad, Lingling and Katy are getting married today and everyone is so excited for them. I’m taking over the Ten Ring within a month so Lingling can take a break. She’s led the organization for so long, it’s my responsibility now. I hope I can live up to her standards, she’s done really well. She’ll be back in a few years, but even after, I’m going to be much more involved to lessen Lingling’s workload.
Shangqi walked the path knowing who came before him and who was still with him.
Most importantly, he walked the path knowing who he was—demons, flaws, strengths, and all.
Mom, Dad, don’t worry. I’ll take care of them.
I hope you’re happy together in the afterlife.
~~~
Don’t be afraid, Shang-Chi, for you have heart of a dragon and the power of the Ten Rings.
We will always be with you and Xialing.
Original Version w/Mandarin
“外婆,您有没有一点儿时间?” 尚气 stood in front of Katy’s grandma, fidgeting nervously. “我想告诉您一些事情。”
She pinned him with a knowing stare. “是不是跟你和瑞雯这前个星期去的旅行有关?” Not waiting for his answer, she got up from the shop register and beckoned him into the back office. Feeling oddly like the first time he came into the store years ago as a teen—when he first met Katy’s family who had since taken him under their wing—he followed her into the familiar, cramped space.
He wasn’t exactly sure what within him prompted this interaction. He had come to San Francisco for a normal life, to get as far away from his father’s reaches as he could and to outrun the blood that stained his footsteps.
Never did 尚气 imagine that he would end up claiming the ancient rings that now sat in a heavy-duty (thanks to 夏灵, with whom he now keeps in regular contact because of the promise they made to each other before he left the compound because he already left her behind once, and he’s never doing it again and damn, my baby sister is running the Ten Rings now, and she’s trying to turn it into something better) and a very well-disguised (thanks to the sorcerers in the New York Sanctum and holy shit he’s in contact with famous superheroes now) back in his mess of a studio apartment.
Never did he imagine letting anyone in on his broken past, and even though his hand had been forced when it came to telling Katy, here he was going to the second person who truly saw something in him when he first started his new life and planning to tell them everything.
(Okay, fine, 尚气 wasn’t actually planning on letting anyone else in on it after telling 外婆, not even the rest of Katy’s family, but he really didn’t want them to be so involved yet—he still had no idea what he himself was doing and he wants to preserve what normalcy he can.)
(Also, he’s been reliably informed that anyone close to a public figure is bound to be targeted for attacks—which he figured out when the mercenaries attacked on the bus because yes, 灵灵, he does have brain cells thank you very much.)
“小龙,你有什么心事儿?”
Little Dragon.
He started at the nickname, the one originally given to him by his mother. Somehow, it had completely slipped his mind that 外婆 also called him that, starting a few weeks after he first met the Chen family. He barely kept it together, the long-unused nickname dredging up memories he had thought left him forever.
你有神龙之心 ,she had declared firmly when he asked her why she decided on that particular nickname. You have the heart of a dragon.
(That was exactly what his mother had told him right before she died, and yet he stood by, hidden behind a door, and did nothing while the men beat and killed her, the heart of the family.)
(He would carry the guilt with him for a lifetime.)
It was a while before he could bring himself to visit the family again—there were a lot of awkward excuses before Katy reluctantly backed off—and it took even longer for him to get somewhat used to the name again, but he eventually started seeing it as a gift with each faint impression of happier days that he got every time 外婆 called him that.
Old, weathered hands gently covered his own, which were shaking and clammy with nervousness. 尚气 wondered how 外婆 would react to the darker side of the lost boy she had basically adopted all those years ago, wondered if the legends of Ta-Lo and the Great Protector were known outside of the rather insular communities that continued to tell the stories, wondered if she had heard about his father through the stories that were passed down for thousands of years, from generation to generation…
(It can’t be wrong to miss him, can it? Even with the years of hell 文武 had put him through, he was still his father. 尚气 still faintly remembered the man his father had been when his mother was still alive, the happy times they shared as a normal family…)
(But those times were long gone, ripped from their grasp by the past 文武 wanted so badly to leave behind. Grief had shattered whole family, and it ultimately led to the children fighting the father who had been driven to near madness in his denial, in his quest to put his broken family back together again.)
妈妈,我太想你了。
(And now 文武 is dead, just like his beloved wife.)
(But just as she died to protect her children, he did the same. Now, his children are reunited and in contact again, getting ever closer despite living as far apart as they did, and he was reunited with his love in the afterlife.)
Finally, he straightened his posture and took a deep breath, looking directly at 外婆, who he’d come to view as the grandmother he never had.
“外婆,您听说过 ‘十环’ 的传说吗?”
And 尚气 told her everything.
He told her everything and more,
She listened.
She listened as he described the legends behind the Ten Rings, Ta-Lo, and the Great Protector; his father’s history; his own history, from witnessing his mother’s death to ripping open the throat of the man who killed her when he was barely a teen, from leaving 灵灵 behind to seeing her again in the fight club she built from the ground up, from returning to the compound after a decade away in San Francisco to the battle in Ta-Lo…
Finally, he fell silent and stared at his hands but it wasn’t long before 外婆 moved, slowly standing up with one hand on her cane. He made to help stabilize her but was quickly waved off with a stern look. He sank back into the chair and felt her move behind him. The shaky weight of her hands on his shoulders as she gently pressed down and straightened his posture was familiar, even after years of not having his posture deliberately—so gently—fixed like that every time he saw 外婆.
“你是所有在你之前的人的遗产,但你是你自己的人,” she finally said,“你决定你自己的命运。”
You are the legacy of all who came before you, but you are your own person. You decide your own fate.
~~~
That night, 尚气 knelt before the altar he had in his apartment, the only part that was carefully maintained in all the years he had lived there. But now, two smiling faces stared back at him, a joy reflected in their eyes that he knew would disappear in less than ten years after the photo was taken.
我还是你的骄傲吗?灵灵长大了,但我也没好好照顾她。
我向你发誓,我再也不会抛弃她。
Even as his life got even more unbelievable as the years went by, the altar and his copy of his parent’s wedding photo would remain a constant. He and 灵灵 dove deeper into their family history—of the Ten Rings, of Ta-Lo, of both the good and bad—and both worked to carry on their family’s legacy.
(With all of the proper discretion agreements and threats when needed, of course.)
灵灵跟我朋友最近开始谈恋爱,他们俩可开心了。妈,如果你还在我们身边,我保证你会喜欢她。爸,我知道你一开始不太喜欢她,但她确实是一位精彩的人。
Life went on.
There were the good days, when he went out with others and could almost feel normal, and there were the bad days, when phantoms pains plagued him and he woke up from a restless sleep expecting to see bruises mottling his body like they did so often when he was younger.
(Also, he was considered a superhero now and holy shit that’s still insane, even years after he first got in contact with the Avengers and the sorcerers in New York. Now he was going all over the West Coast, to help the locals take care of whichever crazy supervillain decided to wreak havoc that day.)
爸爸,我希望你跟我一样觉得这个故事很好笑:我昨天帮了一组美国超级英雄开车。那是他们第一次来旧京山,对道路非常陌生—尤其是 Lombard Street。他们开也开不好,花了半个小时慢慢的开下去。最终,我把他们的车开下去的。
(San Francisco was still home, and he had found a life there with all his friends and 夏灵 whenever she visited. He had a job now, too, at the local youth center teaching martial arts and self-defense, teaching and guiding the youth in a way he wishes his father had with him.)
People came into his life; some stayed, some left, and some even got together.
妈,爸,灵灵她今天会跟我最好的朋友结婚,我们都很兴奋。我一个月之内开始接管十环的业务,让灵灵休息休息。她干了多少年了,现在是我的责任。我希望我能辜负她,她管的非常棒,帮了许多人。她几年后会回来继续当领导,但我好像在领导方面发挥更大的作用。
He walked the path knowing who came before him and who was still with him.
Most importantly, he walked the path knowing who he was—demons, flaws, strengths, and all.
妈,爸,你们放心吧,我会照顾他们。
我希望你们俩来世都幸福。
~~~
尚气,你别怕,你有神龙之心,十环的力量。
我们永远会在你和灵灵的身边。
23 notes · View notes
twiceinadream · 3 years
Text
“Anon.”
Requested: Yup
Request: Tzuyu is the popular girl who everyone wants to either be or date, Y/N is the quiet loner with only a handful of friends. In everyone's eyes, Tzuyu is the perfect girl who's always happy, but one day Y/N catches Tzuyu breaking down and crying in secret. Since then, she has been anonymously leaving notes in Tzuyu's locker. Among all her secret admirer letters, Tzuyu finds the notes with positive words and goes on a search for the sender [High School AU]
a/u: Hey, everyone! So I have to admit, my bad. I’m sorry for hyping this up and doing absolutely nothing for like 2 months, but I’m so happy that I finally got it done and I hope you all love it. I love you guys and thank you so much for all the support. Also, thank you so much for 2.3k+ followers, that’s insane!
Category: Fluff and Angst
Word Count: 2.9k
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You frowned down at your notes as a soft breeze blew in from the open window next to you, the pages of your notebook fluttering in the wind as you placed a hand on top of them to prevent them from blowing as you sat back in your chair. Your teacher’s voice seemed like a monotonous drone that filled the classroom’s silence as he continued talking about the effects of the Scientific Revolution and the Enlightenment movement and how it changed the world’s thinking of space and the world they lived in, but in all honesty in this moment in time you could honestly care less about what he was saying. Your mind was already too preoccupied with the most popular girl in all of JYP Academy, Chou Tzuyu. Your eyes had left your notes long ago as you couldn’t help but stare, she was so effortlessly beautiful that it was almost infuriating. If you didn’t know any better you could say she was perfect.
She had everything any high school student could ever hope for. She’s beautiful, popular, rich, and oh so perfect. If time would allow you, you probably wouldn’t stop thinking about her at all. But, just as you were about to dive deeper into thought a sudden shrill ring of a bell pulled you out of your thoughts as you blinked, shaking your head as you realized class had ended. You sighed as you closed your notebook and reached for your backpack, stuffing your things inside as you stood from your seat but before anyone could leave your teacher suddenly announced, “Remember, we have a test on this chapter next week! And it’s the last one before the end of the quarter so this will severely make or break your grades!” A loud chorus of groans followed as all the students began filing out of class and out to lunch.
You shook your head as you threw your bag onto your shoulder, ‘Shit.’
-
You breathed out a sigh of relief as you got out of the class, dodging the flow of students heading out of the school halls towards the cafeteria as you made your way to the back of the academy, where the art building was housed. Set on retrieving your friends so they wouldn’t miss lunch and beg you for food later.
The walk there was surprisingly peaceful as you used most of the time lost in thought, your mind filled with images of Chou Tzuyu and history. The halls toward the back buildings were much quieter, save for the sound of a piano being played in one of the practice rooms. A smile growing on your face as you followed your ear towards the music, stopping in front of the open door that housed the source of the sound.
Your eyes landed on the brunette playing, then drifted to the silver-haired fox next to her as their heads both swayed to the rhythm of the song. A small chuckle left you as you knocked on the open door, “Knock, knock.” The interruption does its job and the music stops as Chaeyoung and Dahyun turn to face you, smiles growing on their faces as they get up from the piano to hug you.
“Y/N! Finally!” Chaeyoung says happily as she punches you lightly in the shoulder, “I was starting to think you forgot about us back here.”
You laugh as you lean into her, “What? Never. Classes just ran late since we have finals next week.
Dahyun groaned as she threw an arm over her eyes dramatically, “Don’t remind me, I hate this time of year.” You shake your head as a giddy smile takes over your features.
“But, hey, it’s Friday! Wanna go to, Cup of TT, after school. My treat?” Both Chae and Dahyun nod enthusiastically.
“Sounds good, but you’re paying. No take backs.” The brunette says with a playful smile as you wave her off.
“I know, I know. I’m not gonna come up short, unlike some people.” You raised an eyebrow that was directed to Chaeyoung as you dodged her about to tackle you.
“I swear to all things holy if you make one more short joke.” The tiny tiger seethed as you and Dahyun laughed, putting your hands up in surrender.
“Sorry, I can’t hear you from down there.” You smile as you start running down the hallway, your’s and Dahyun’s laughter filling the halls as Chaeyoung chases after the both of you.
-Finals Day-
The crisp spring air did nothing to relieve the pounding you felt in your mind as you rested your head in your hand, flipping through your notes about world history as you could faintly hear Chaeyoung explaining something about a mountain painting she had seen at an art exhibit recently as Dahyun listened. Her attention fully on the shorter blonde as you absently flipped through every page, trying to cram any last minute information you could before the final next period. But, to be fair, not paying attention in class wasn’t your fault.
How could they expect anyone to focus when Chou Tzuyu was in their midsts?
But your brief study of about three months of work had come to an end with the sound of a shrill bell, signaling the start of your history period.
“Alright, good luck Y/N! Hwaiting!” Dahyun smiled as she squeezed your shoulder.
“Good luck, and don’t get distracted!” Chaeyoung winked as she moved just in time to avoid your reach, cackling as you were left in your classroom. Watching your classmates file in as you let out a breath.
‘I can do this.’
-1 Week Later-
Your stomach has been in knots for the past week as you waited for your teacher to post the grades of the final. Making silent prayers to whatever divine being that heard you as you held your breath waiting for the teacher to post the paper on the bulletin. The lack of air in your lungs makes you dizzy as you had to remind yourself to breathe.
Your heart raced as your teacher opened the door to his classroom, regarding his anxious students with a quick look over as he kept his body in front of the board. Taking his sweet time to staple the papers to the corkboard to prolong his students anticipation before finally taking pity on their bated breaths as he finally moved.
Barely dodging the stampede of students that nearly trampled him in their haste to see their scores. Some rejoiced while some looked close to tears as you finally got to the board, running your finger down the column on the paper till it landed on your name. You held your breath as you removed your finger, revealing...an A!
You had to stop yourself from jumping in excitement as a large smile was plastered onto your face, running to find Dahyun and Chaeyoung to tell them the good news.
-
“Guys!” You yelled happily as you finally found them. Slightly out of breath since you had to run around a bit to find them.
Chae turned first as she took in the smile on your face, “Survey says?”
You smiled brightly, “A!” Both your friends smiled excitedly as they sandwiched you between them jumping in celebration.
“Alright, get together at my house?” Dahyun asked you and Chae as you both nodded, “Great!” You smiled as you slung your arms around both your best friends, the three of you walking towards the entrance of the school before you stopped.
“Aww, crap. I left something in my history class, I’ll be right back.” You turned back as you began running to your classroom, the halls pretty much void of students as you made it through the last corridor before your class. Barely rounding the corner when you spotted Tzuyu in front of the board. You quickly stopped yourself as you hid on the side of the wall, peeking over the side as you watched her, scared to face her head on. So you just waited for her to leave, but what came next surprised you more than just seeing Tzuyu by herself instead of surrounded by her entourage.
She began to cry.
For a second you felt very unsure of what was happening. ‘She’s crying. Chou Tzuyu is crying. I should probably do something.’ Your thoughts seemed to finally catch up to you as you tried to spring your body into action, ‘I should probably do something!’ But your body was frozen in place, unable to move as Tzuyu sniffed loudly. Her head down as she began to walk away, leaving in the opposite direction as you. (Thank God)
You finally felt movement come back to your body as you stepped into the light, walking slowly towards the board as you searched down the list for Tzuyu’s name. Your breath catching as you found it, D. Oh no. That’s not good. You purse your lips in thought as you forgo getting your forgotten pencil as you walk towards the way Tzuyu left, deciding you might as well see if she was okay. But, you turned up empty handed, having no idea where she had run off to and decided to just cut your losses and return to your friends.
A look of relief on Chae’s face as she spotted you, “There you are! We thought we’d have to send out a search party for you.” You smiled weakly at the comment, Dahyun’s smile faltering as she took in your shift in mood.
“Is everything alright, Y/N?” You shook your head, clearing your thoughts.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m good.” You gave her a thumbs up as you put your arms around them again, “What are we still doing here? Let’s go!”
-The Kim’s House-
The three of you had gone through at least two movies as you laid your head on Dahyun’s lap. Her finger’s threaded through your hair as your brows furrowed, the action usually calming you but had no effect on your consciousness as your mind still replayed the events outside your history class.
The brunette glanced down as she saw the serious look on your face, reaching over to pause the movie. Chaeyoung looked at her, ready to say something but stopped as Dahyun held up a hand, “Y/N,” No response, “Y/N.” Her tone became firmer as you blinked, turning your attention to her.
“Did you say something?” Dahyun sighed, making you sit up.
“What’s going on Y/N, after you came back from your class. You seem...sad?” You frowned slightly as you looked at both of your friends.
“Uh...okay, you got me. When I was going to my class, I saw Tzuyu outside since our grades were posted today then she started crying. I didn’t know what to do so I waited till she left and saw she got a, D.” To your surprise you heard Chaeyoung groan in annoyance.
“Dammit Chewy, I told her she needed help.” You and Dahyun both raised an eyebrow as you looked at your silver haired friend.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Chae shook her head, “I told Tzuyu that she needed to get herself a tutor since she was struggling with the paper. But, she didn’t want to since her parents are such hard asses about her being ‘perfect’ and what not.” But this only seemed to confuse you and the brunette further.
“Hold on. You know Tzuyu? Like personally?” Chaeyoung just nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Yeah, we’ve known each other since we were in diapers. Our parents are family friends, so we’ve spent our whole lives around each other.” The shorter Korean continued talking, oblivious to your’s and Dahyun’s shocked faces. “So, I know all about her grades and things. She was having such a hard time with it, I feel so bad.”
You sat in shock for a little longer, “Wait, so you know Tzuyu and just never thought you should mention it.” Chaeyoung shrugged.
“Must have slipped my mind. But,” The silver haired girl smiled at you, “I think I know how to make her feel better.”
You looked at your suspiciously, “What do you have in mind, Chaengie?”
But Chaeyoung just smiled.
-Monday-
It was early in the morning as you stood in front of Tzuyu’s locker, a small note in your hand as you tried to psych yourself up to put it in. ‘Come on Y/N, she doesn’t know it’s you. You’ll be fine.’
You bit your lip as you slid the note in, saying a prayer as you ran off.
-
The bell rang, signaling the start of school as Tzuyu stood before her locker. Opening it as she watched a few pieces of paper flutter to the ground, ‘More secret admirer letters.’ The Taiwanese girl shook her head as she opened them briefly, tired of reading about how beautiful she was since it was kinda getting old. Until she came across a note that differed from the rest.
Tzuyu, keep your head up. You’re so smart and don’t forget to live while you’re young and wild :) -Anon
Tzuyu nodded as she read the note, ‘Huh, now that’s new.’ She smiled to herself as she secretly tucked the note back into her locker, her head held higher as she walked to her class.
-Wednesday-
It been two days since the first note you had written and you were back with another, holding it to your chest as you breathed out. Before pushing it in.
-
Tzuyu yawned as she moved her hair away from her eyes, opening her locker as a note fluttered to the ground. A smile growing on her face as she noticed the handwriting was the same as the one she had seen on Monday.
Hey, Tzu. Hope your days are getting better! Remeber you are smarter than you know and stronger than you think ;) -Anon.
The Taiwanese girl smiled as she tucked the note with the one she had received on Monday. She was really starting to like this admirer.
-1 Month Later-
It been a month since you had started leaving notes at Tzuyu’s locker every other day, and unbeknownst to you, Tzuyu had actually started looking forward to those days. You stood in front of her locker again, placing a kiss to the note as you slid it in.
-
When Tzuyu arrived to the academy she rushed to her locker. Pulling it open as the note she waited for to fall to the ground.
Tzumong! I hope your classes are going well, remember you are strong enough and amazing. If I had the courage you did I’d ask you out on a date if I could. Have a great day ^ㅊ^ -Anon.
Her eyes widened at the last sentence, so this person did like her. And she couldn’t deny, she had also fallen a little bit for the person writing her, her favorite letters.
-1 Week Later-
You sat bored in your history class as you absentmindedly spun your pencil around your fingers. Barely listening to your teacher as he explained a project he was having the class do on Imperialism. Your eyes focusing slightly on Tzuyu, who you hoped still had no idea it was you leaving the notes.
“Y/N. Y/N!” You shook your head as your gaze was ripped from looking at Tzuyu, to face your teacher.
“Yes?”
He shook his head, tutting, “I said, you’re partners with Tzuyu. Move so you can sit next to each other.” You felt your heart rate spike as your lungs seemed to be completely void of air, getting up on shaky legs as you moved to sit next to Tzuyu.
A small smile on her face as she mouthed, “Hi.” You gave her a smile as the teacher explained the project, before finally allowing the class to talk.
You swallowed the nervous lump in your throat as you faced your crush, “H...Hi, I’m Y/N.”
The brunette smiled, “Hi, I’m Tzuyu. Nice to meet you.”
You nodded, “You too.”
The class went by in the blink of an eye as you talked about the project and how it would work out when the bell rang. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I have to go. Can you write your number.” Tzuyu held open her notebook as you quickly wrote your name and number on the lined sheet of paper as she rushed out of the class. Your eyes following her retreating form as you sat back in your desk.
‘Well that just happened.’
-
The Taiwanese girl had to run to the student council meeting since she was behind on one of her projects. Panting as she entered the room. Taking a seat as she opened the notebook she had given you to write in. Her eyes barely glanced at the paper, when your handwriting caught her attention.
Her eyes widened as she pulled the note she had received this morning out of her binder, holding it next to your name and number. An exact match.
‘Oh my god.’
-The Next Morning-
You walked sleepily to your locker as you ran a hand through your hair, yawning as you put in your code. Pulling it open, only to have a piece of paper come fluttering out. You raised an eyebrow as you squatted down to pick it up, turning it over as you gave it an experimental sniff. ‘It smelled like Tzuyu’s perfume?’
You felt your heart begin to pound in your chest as you slowly opened the note. Your eyes widening in shock.
Found you! Now how about you keep your promise about that date you wanted to take me on. -Tzuyu <3.
You couldn’t believe what you were seeing as you read the note over and over again. Tzuyu stood quietly behind you. Her chuckle greeted your ears as you turned around slowly, catching her gaze. A smile growing on her lips as she looked at you expectantly.
“So. What’ll it be, Anon?”
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vampish-glamour · 3 years
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I know you're not a self help blog, but do you have any tips regarding how to deal with procrastination? Like a have a very important examen coming in a week and I had the whole year to study for it. And guess what I DIDN'T. And I still don't and I'm gonna fail.
I think I have a problem...
Hi! I’m probably not the best person to ask, because I have a huge problem with procrastination too. Even with stuff I want to do! If there’s a task, I’m almost guaranteed to procrastinate.
It’s really hard not to procrastinate with stuff like what you’re describing; where you have a bunch of time so it’s easy to put things off for later. Trust me, I do this all the time. I’ll go “oh, that’s not until then, I’ll do it later!!” And then I forget about it, often subconsciously on purpose, and the “later” becomes the week or even night before.
First and foremost, break the task apart into smaller tasks!
It’s much easier to get something done if it’s not this huge thing looming over you. So instead of “study for exam”, which is big and overwhelming, and also vague—which makes it easy to ignore or not know where to start, break it down into “read chapter 1 of textbook”, or “read pages 10-15”. Once you’re done that, make it “read chapter 2” or “read pages 16-20”. And just keep doing this until you’ve studied everything you need to study.
This helped me a lot, because now I’m not freaking out about this huge thing that needs to get done, and “holy shit where do I start”. Because I have a starting point, and a roadmap of how I’m going to finish.
I find writing things down helps, because then it’s on paper and not just tucked away in your mind for you to forget. Bullet journals can help with this…
…but if you’re like me, that bullet journal will become useless because you’ll never open it. (Mine has not been touched for months lmao. And since I’m a major perfectionist, setting up pages is very tedious since I turn it into an art project. I’ll try again, but make it as simplistic as possible)
Currently what I have, is a sticky note wall. It’s just the section of wall right next to my desk, and I have little labels to sort things by topic to organize it. So I can just write down tasks that need to get done, slap it underneath the topic it falls under (so for example, your “study for exam” would fall under “school”), and it’s there, staring me in the face. This makes it harder to forget what you have to do.
You could also do this with a bulletin board, but I have one of those and I use it much less than sticky notes. Since it’s just so easy to slap a sticky note up and take it off when you’re done with it, without having to worry about pins lol. My bulletin board is mostly for long term things. But it really comes down to personal preference.
Additionally, I’ve heard people recommend setting yourself deadlines and writing them all down together. Make yourself a planner that you can slap up along with the sticky notes, with set dates that you should have parts of whatever it is you’re doing done by.
With studying, the tasks needed to complete could be page numbers, chapters, topics, etc. So your planner could be pages you need to have read by a certain date, for example.
This isn’t something I have implemented for myself yet, and I mostly do it with the sticky notes. So I’ll break the task down, and write the first little task on the sticky note, then when I complete that task I take it down and replace it with the next one. I find this less overwhelming than having everything laid out in front of me, because it sort of tricks me into feeling like there’s not as much work to be done if I’m just focusing on the smaller tasks instead of the large one. But I do think it would be helpful to have a list of things I need to get done and their deadlines in one place.
And for deadlines, since I don’t have them written down all in one place, I mostly just use personal goals. So I’ll set the goal of “I want to have this done by Tuesday next week” for example, and having that goal can be a bit of motivation.
Tbh this is a bit of a flimsy system though, since it’s not as set in stone as it would be in writing. Which is why I do have the goal of finding a system that works for me where I can have everything in one place. Making lists in a bullet journal worked for me, the only downfalls were my perfectionism and forgetting to actually use the bullet journal. So I’ll work on ways to fix that.
A channel that I’ve found helps with these sorts of problems is HowToADHD. I’m not sure if I have ADHD or not, since I’m going through the diagnosis process, but the tips are helpful anyways. And I do know that people who don’t have it use the channel as a resource, since you can take the tips that apply to you and utilize them. Here’s a video she did on procrastination! She even starts the video off noting that the tips are helpful to both people with and without ADHD. So it really is a helpful tool for anybody.
On that note; if procrastination is a big problem for you to the point that it’s interfering with your daily life, I would recommend seeking out professional help. Because there could be something going on executive dysfunction wise.
Tl;dr/short version of tips;
BREAK THE TASK DOWN INTO SMALLER TASKS. I can’t stress how helpful this has been for me. It gives you a place to start, and makes everything seem much less overwhelming.
Write stuff down!! It’ll help you remember that it’s something you need to get done.
Leave this written form somewhere you can see it! Don’t tuck it away in a drawer, because then you’re going to forget about it and there was no point to writing it down in the first place.
Set yourself deadlines, and write them down so they feel more real and motivate you to get the job done.
Use sticky notes as reminders of what you need to do.
Other options are bulletin boards and bullet journals/planners. Depends on personal preference
Have a list of everything you need to do all in one place (like the bullet journal or planner)
I really hope this wasn’t too all over the place, and that at least some of the advice helps! 💖
I understand what you’re going through, so I hope you can find something that works for you, because procrastination is a bitch to deal with. But there’s ways to manage it, and if the things I’ve suggested don’t work for you, there’s lots of YouTube channels or other resources online (I’m sure there’s even books) that can offer other solutions! Best of luck!! 💕
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radramblog · 3 years
Text
Album Discussion- Floral Shoppe
Haha why do y’all let me do this.
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It’s been almost a decade since Macintosh Plus (aka Vektroid, aka Ramona Xavier) popularised and codified vapourwave as a genre with its first actually popular release in Floral Shoppe. Since then this sub-sub-genre has developed its own subgenres and become its own flourishing marvel of internet music culture. But Floral Shoppe itself is worth examining- not to see where it all began (I haven’t even listened to Chuck Person’s Eccojams or Far Side Virtual yet), but where most people got into the genre. The lifting off point, as it were.
So grab your Arizona ice tea (don’t, it’s fucking awful) and lets dive in.
The first track, ブート(Boot), opens with a buttery smooth cymbal and saxophone line, obviously slowed down, but evoking a level of chill few songs manage to get to for their whole duration, in a total of approximately a minute. It’s a genuinely masterful piece of music. As the vocals come in, you hear them get twisted and chopped, distorted and looped, almost jolting you out of that trance, until it’s clear that the lyrics aren’t lyrics but another instrument, you get used to the nonsense, and you’re back in the zone. The looping with some of the instrumentation makes parts of it feel almost clockwork-like, in a very satisfying manner- especially as the majority of it gets muffled and you realise that opening bass/sax line has been running through the entire time. While the next track on this album tends to get most of the attention, I genuinely think Boot deserves just as much praise.
リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー (Lisa Frank 420/Modern Computing) is another one of those tracks where it’s just like, what could I possibly say about this that hasn’t been said. If you’re reading this, there’s basically no way you haven’t heard this song, so you know what I’m on about. It’s the quintessential vapourwave track, even if it’s showing its age a bit. It’s just so perfect. When I decided to write about Floral Shoppe, I didn’t really want to spend too much time here- me saying “hey I like this song everyone knows” isn’t the most interesting thing on the planet, I guess. I will say, it’s one of the few vapourwave songs you can actually sing along to, and that’s fun as heck.
Also, the lyric is “it’s all in your hands”, not “it’s all in your head”. To be fair, though, the distortion doesn’t help.
The album’s next track is 花の専門店 (Floral Shoppe, hey I didn’t know this album had a title song), a track that heavily relies on this really panned synth (you can’t even hear that on the left ear) and a lot of looping the same bit over and over again. Honestly, the first minute of this song gets a little grating, but it really picks up after that. It’s really fun and jazzy for a solid minute there, a lovely instrumental you can just groove to in your head. The fade out on this piece lasts wayyy too long for my liking, though- a full half minute of outro feels a little indulgent for this one.
Track four, ライブラリ (Library) is lowkey one of my favourites on the album- The slowed vocals work really well, and the instrumentation feels extremely deliberate and methodical. I think my biggest complaint with this song is just that it’s too short, considering Lisa Frank 420 is literally triple it’s length. But I suppose part of this project is how variable the track lengths are- it seems Vektroid was keen to work with these until she was out of ideas, and no longer, and I can’t help but respect that.
地理 (Geography) sounds substantially darker than the previous tracks, with incredibly low drones and a main line that… I mean I dunno how low it is but that shit is definitely in a minor key, you know. It’s also the sparsest track so far, with much more restraint in layering than anything else I can think of on the album. The atmosphere of this is heavy- I don’t know why, but it reminds me of that really creepy loading screen on the fuckin Magic School Bus goes inside the body Edutainment game. That’s probably a bit of a weird connection, but if you played that shit, you know how fucking eerie it’s soundtrack was, and that’s a bit of the vibe I’m getting from this track.
Our next track is a direct nod to Floral Shoppe’s predecessors in ECCOと悪寒ダイビング (Chill diving with ECCO), a reference to the aforementioned Chuck Person’s Eccojams Vol. 1 (itself a reference to the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive game Ecco the Dolphin), and Chill is absolutely right. While many vapour/synthwave pieces are more about entering an aesthetic or a vibe than actually listening to the music, as far as Floral Shoppe goes, that’s most true with this track. It’s also the third longest track here (behind Lisa Frank 420 and the next song), and while it doesn’t develop as much as one would hope based on that (or much at all), spending so long vibing out in a track like this is completely appropriate.
I’m going to be honest, I don’t care too much for the next track, 数学 (Mathematics). It might just be because it comes on the heels of ECCO, but the meandering in this doesn’t hit the same chord as that does. While I enjoy the saxophone on this song, all the shit going on in the background just kinda gets my anxiety going eventually. And by eventually, I mean about halfway through this near 7-minute monster. You’ve got these very chill elements that slowly get drowned out by the steadily rising and accelerating chaotic parts of the instrumentation that just take over eventually, and while it does chill back down again, that’s still a long time focussed on the worst parts of the song. This also really didn’t need to be as long as it is, considering the second half of the track is just, like, the same thing again…
We’re at track 8, and at this point I started looking at the Wikipedia page for the name translation and realising that I have no idea which song this is supposed to be. Like, the track lengths on the bandcamp suggest that this is the 2011 release and therefore this is 待機 (Standby), but it has the name of track 8 from the 2017 release, 外ギン Aviation (Foreign Banks Aviation)? This is confusing as fuck, but since this is the only track here with that issue, I’m assuming it’s actually Standby and someone fucked up somewhere. Oh right, the song itself. Well it’s fucking short, barely past a minute long, and doesn’t have too much going on. I’d call it short but sweet, it doesn’t overstay its welcome. Jazzy, loungy, kinda chill. I dunno.
て(Te) feels almost out of place on this album. I mean, the vibe is similar, but the birdsongs really come out of left field. This sounds like the track you’d hear in a video game after you’re finally out of a cave you spent hours in. If the build in this weren’t so intense, I think it’d fit right in on the Minecraft OST. That’s a compliment, for what it’s worth. It’s also worth noting this light at the end of the tunnel bit was absolutely intentional, because this used to be the final track of the album. However, there’s two more here, added in a 2012 reissue (originally they were unnamed bonus tracks), so we might as well check them out.
…under no circumstances should you check out track 10, 月 (Moon). I don’t know what vocal sample that is, but it is loud, and grating, and obnoxious, and the instrumentation is not doing enough to carry the repetition through. Holy shit, this is 6 minutes long. I’m going to be honest, I skimmed through this one, and it never changes what it’s doing. This is… a bold play, I’ll give her that, but it absolutely does not pay off. This has gotta be one of the worst songs I’ve heard in a very long time. What the fuck, Ramona?
Finally, 海底 (Seabed). This… is just like Moon, in that it’s a fucked up vocal sample that is looped over and over with little changing instrumental. The key difference is this one is less bad- the vocals aren’t as jilting, the instrumentation is chiller, and it is mercifully only 2 and a bit minutes. It’s far from good, but it’s not as immediately awful. Okay, it is pretty bad. These should probably have stayed as extras- and seeing as they apparently weren’t on the physical versions of the album (in fact a bunch of these songs changed for that), Vektroid appears to agree.
So that’s Floral Shoppe, and it’s really one of those albums that kinda drags on at the end. Frontloaded with the good shit, I suppose. Moon and Seabed aside, it’s not like anything is completely awful, but after 25 or so minutes you’ve kinda gotten the point. With that said, the album is as influential as it is for good reason- the first couple tracks are phenomenal, and once you’re drawn in by those, you’re probably going to appreciate the rest of it at least a little.
Modern vapourwave basically sounds nothing like Lisa Frank 420/Modern Computing, or Floral Shoppe at all- the genre has moved past plunderphonics almost entirely at this point, and the aesthetic has shifted to a more consistent, less memeable tone. Even Macintosh Plus is going new directions- the single released in December 2019 as a teaser for Vektroid’s next project under the name sounds nothing like this album, though it is completely fucking awesome (and completely fucking batshit). While it seems like the genre itself has moved past Floral Shoppe, though, it’s still the touchstone the majority of people, especially those unfamiliar with the genre, recognize as the herald of Vapourwave. I’m pretty sure this was the first album to do the whole pink aesthetic, marble bust, computer graphics style, and clearly that’s the style everyone thinks of when they make bad vapourwave art. That’s the aesthetic this album inspired. Long may it reign.
(Ok seriously though guys go listen to VAPERROR or George Clanton or something)
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gryphsdeadbones · 4 years
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hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;
first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut
i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad
im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent
was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)
i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say
its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.
if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug
and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.
so i had to make something that:
1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art
2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”
i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.
Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.
The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.
And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense
Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:
Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.
I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.
But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.
You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.
However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.
I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.
I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives. 
If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.
Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.
_
As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this
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akvtsuki-ari · 4 years
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A Study In Body Language: v. love is a virtue
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Warnings: smut! unprotected sex, mild angst, but other than that mostly fluffy. 
Length: 6.5k
Authors Note: holy shit yall. we did it. 25000 words, 5 chapters and a whole lot of emotional turmoil, we fuckin did it. i will be writing an epilogue for this story but for now, here it is - a study in body language. hope yall have enjoyed this wild ride 
Plot Summary: Spencer realizes how deep he’s fallen, and reads something that changes his plans of confession. Love is beautiful, apparently. 
Link to the song mentioned: 1000 Times by Sara Bareilles 
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
He overhears you in the bullpen. You’re not sad when you talk about it, and maybe he was a little too hopeful to hear you clearly but you sounded relieved. He hopes you’re relieved but he doesn’t know how to deal with that feeling. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself but he could drown in the relief when you say you broke up with Jay. A weight off of his shoulders, off of his consciousness. For a moment he wasn’t so damn restless. You were single but he doesn’t know what that changed. Everything felt different, shit everything was different. The world that he’d come to know was shattered underneath the weight of this feeling. 
“Why’d you two break up?,” JJ asks. She’s curious, but Spencers hanging on your voice for the answer. His whole body relaxes. You pause, maybe you’re shrugging. 
“I don’t know - I think we both realized that this wasn’t gonna be long-term but we’ll always be cool. He’s a really good guy, but we have different wants, I think,” you say casually. You don’t sound sad. 
“You don’t seem upset,” Prentiss comments. Spencers happy he’s not delusional. 
“I’m not. The whole thing was really mutual and I loved him but not as anything more than friends really and he feels the same so I’m okay,” You say casually. He doesn’t hear much else, so he walks away before you can turn the corner and see him. 
Rain beats on the windows when Spencer walks away. It’s been raining for days now, the darkness seemed to be encompassing but it was nice. Spencer liked rain, watching it when he needed to think and it seems like he was having to do that more often these days. Rain wasn’t somber to Spencer, as much as it was a sobering reminder. Rain made him think of you, but most things did so he isn’t sure if it’s any deeper than that. Everything made Spencer think of you. 
Spencer couldn’t stop himself from thinking of you. It was a crushing realization that you were in love with someone and that you would do anything to make them happy. It was always apart of him, he couldn’t catch a break without being reminded of how much he adored you. Things continued as normal but he was working hard to make sure of that. He didn’t want to lose you, or hurt you so he tried so hard to make sure things were okay, even if it killed him slowly. He wanted to call you his, because in his heart of hearts, he wanted you to think of him as yours. Spencer was overwhelmed every time he saw you because it was you. You were you and he’d give you everything if you asked for it. He would rob the stars in the sky for you, he would steal the sun for you to keep, he would do anything to make you happy. That realization was crushing and Spencer was unsure if you had any clue.
__
The work day passes normally. Everyone was ready to go home, though some of the team wanted to hang at O’Keefes for a drink but you and Spencer passed. They all gave each other knowing looks, that Spencer became aware of when he realized he liked you. You still seemed clueless, and that was a scary enough thought. Spencer just flushed as he sees everyone walk out to the elevator, leaving you and him alone for the night. 
“Any special plans, Spence?,” you ask Spencer, fiddling with the strap of your bag as you two waited for the next elevator to come. Spencer shakes his head, looking at your stance and smiling. The bag was too big for you, clearly too heavy on your shoulders but he knew you’d never get rid of it. It was a thing about you he’d picked up from before. 
“Not really, no. Might go home and watch some TV, though I don’t know what,” Spencer replies thoughtfully. You nod in understanding, letting out a huff of frustration as you let go of your bag problem. Spencer just chuckles as he stands in front of you, fixing up the buckle before the strap. You look up at him with a grateful grin, and he feels his heart pound. Love, love, love on his mind when he looks at you. He feels a bit sick, but he figures it’s a symptom that seems to swallo him. 
You wrap your arms around Spencer and lay your face in his chest.He wonders if you can hear how hard his heart is pounding but it doesn’t seem like you notice. You nuzzle into him, and it seems to be so subconscious for you. He wants to ask himself if this was friends did but he knew better - this was too complicated for such simple questions. He hugs you back, taking a breath and you pull away and look up at him. His eyes are a pretty green, spots of brown speckling them but they look hazel in the light. You’d see them sometimes when he woke up and they’d fall under the sunlight. You always liked them and maybe you look too long, so you pull away. Spencer wishes you didn’t but the moments gone before he can protest. 
The elevator dings. The doors both open as the two of you travel down together. Spencer wants to offer you some company but he can’t tell himself too when he knows his own intentions. 
____
Spencer was alone. It was the wordless night that seemed to eat at him, even though the clock had only barely scraped by to 11. Lately, Spencer doesn’t have trouble sleeping but it seems like that would change soon. Thoughts of you were cocoon his thoughts. He felt so stuck, because he wants to tell you how he feels - but the risk is too great. Too much of a burden to bear because he has no clue about how you feel. He assumes you don’t return those feelings but if you did -  he wasn’t sure if anything would change. That reality is far more crushing than not knowing at all. 
One thing Spencer did when he was thinking of you was read your letters to him. Those letters were more important for his sanity than he wanted to admit. You told him of everything, gave him daily reminders of why he needed to see the world again. Your return was more than waited on, but prayed for. A selfless act in self-preservation on your behalf, and a brave one on Spencers. 
The first letter dates a few weeks after Spencer was in rehab. You’re so different in writing, maybe more honest because you aren’t thinking so much. Spencer doesn’t know how to explain it but he likes the way you write. 
Dear Genius, 
Congrats on a whole 3 weeks!! I’m so proud of you, and I’m happy to hear you like group therapy. I loved your clown painting, by the way and I want it framed for my apartment ASAP - seriously I had no clue you were so good at art. I also want pictures of when you guys have group therapy with those service dogs because that is so cute!!! Excited for the next letter just for that. 
Updates on my life are pretty boring but you asked so I’ll deliver. My dad is doing okay right now. We’ve talked a lot and he’s sorta mulled over my chilhood and apologized about well… all of it. It was a bit much, to be honest but thats okay. I’ll get through it, especially when I have these letters to look forward too. I met someone sorta too, he’s from DC but he moved into my neighborhood. He’s nice, but who knows, you know? 
Also, you told me to keep sending you new music to listen too, but honestly I just wanna send you radio hits. You should listen to The-Weeknd, maybe Starboy? I mostly just wanna see how you feel about stuff people listen to on the car radio haha. I don’t know, but either way, hope you like the song. 
Anyways, I love you and I’m looking forward to our next correspondence. Good luck always, and keep yourself strong. 
Best Wishes,
Y/N 
Spencer smiles big. The kind of smile that reaches the lines in his eyes and makes his whole body relax. He replies with what you ask for, he remembers. He had a picture of him with an Australian Shepherd from therapy that you framed and put on your desk. He remembers how much you liked it, though he wasn’t sure why. He hadn’t sent you the clown painting yet because it seemed to slip his mind but he reminds himself to give it to you. He looks through more letters, reading the different one-sided exchanges. He reads your weekly updates about the community mural that you painted with all the kids while you were back home. He reads about the different volunteers, and how your childhood friend who you lost touch with had moved back and had a baby. Her name was Ellie, and you loved her. He comes across the letter where your dad passed away, only a month into your trip. 
Dear Spencer, 
Hey kid. I’m happy to hear about your progress!! I know it’s been tough because you’ve hit that middle slump but I know you. I know you’ll get through, it just takes time and you’re doing great keeping your head above water. I love you and I’m so proud of you, you’re gonna go far. 
I know I sound different here, it’s because my dad passed away last night. He passed quietly, stubborn bastard. I cried, more than I was expecting. He’s the last person of blood who would claim me as family and he just sorta disappeared. It’s just weird, how little i seem to feel. I was sad but it was weird, more emptying than anything but in a fucked up way I was relieved. I don’t know. I suppose it’s complicated
It made me think of you, in a weird way, I guess. You told me to send you music and I guess this is my indirect way of telling you stuff, but you should listen to 1000 times by Sarah Barielles. I don’t really know what to make of it but thanks for being a good friend and I’m grateful for what we have as friends always. You’re a good person, Spencer. 
Anyways, let me know if anything changes and good luck next week. I miss you, but I know we’ll see eachother again soon and things will be good. Keep sending me pictures of Dianes cat also because she’s so cute and I love her. Thanks for everything. 
Love always, 
Y/N 
 Spencer looks at the song you sent. He normally listens to every single one but that week he had already used up all of his computer time to read the articles from your local newspaper and he never got a chance too after that. He figures now was a good time, always having a piece of you when he got that music. Even if the song wasn’t his style, it made him think of you and for him that was most than enough. It was a blessing in a lot of ways to have a part of you that only he knew of. It was music anyone could listen to but the meaning was his alone. Spencer opens up his laptop and types in the song title. He presses play, awaiting whatever pop ballad you had waiting for him
Then the lyrics start to play and Spencer feels sick,” 
“Again again I let it go, let it go/ Cover my mouth don't let a single word slip/ Out wouldn't wanna tell you, no tell you, no/ Nothing could be worse than the risk of/ Losing what I don't have now,” 
Shit. 
Spencers heart drops to the bottom of his stomach. He feels like he’s going to die, and he doesn’t know how else to explain this feeling of detriment. You told Spencer you loved him a full month before he even realized how far deep he was and he just… didn’t acknowledge it. Spencer wanted to throw up, every visceral feeling of panic banging on the inside of his chest and threatens to crush his heart under the weight. Spencer could feel it in his throat, as he scrambles to find his phone your contact, dialing your number as he feels the drum of his heartbeat. His fingers shake as he hears you pick up on the other side.
“Hello?,” 
Your voice makes Spencer ache. Spencer breathes out, unable to speak for a few seconds. You look confused on the other side of the phone. 
“Spencer?,”
Your voice is all Spencer hears yet your words feel distant. His voice is abysmal and small when he speaks - the words trapped in the maze of thoughts, unable to be expressed correctly. Spencer coughs before he talks, trying to clear his airways even though nothing was really wrong. 
“Are you home and are you busy?,” Spencer asks, tears threatening to run down his face before his voice can give out 
“I’m home but I’m not busy, why? Is everything okay? ,” Panic is subtle in your voice, Spencer swallows thickly. 
“Yeah, yeah - I’m okay. Can I come over?,” Spencer asks, voice quiet. 
“Of course, Spencer. See you soon, and drive safe - the weather is still bad so you gotta be careful,” you say warmly. 
“Yeah, of course. See you soon,” Spencer replies. The line clicks and Spencer stares into his phone. He picks his care keys up and puts on a jacket, knowing he’d still get caught up in the rain. 
____
The rain is heavier than it was before. It was late, the clock reads 11:45  and Spencer can’t see much as water spills from the grey clouds that hung over his head. It was peaceful, almost. When you ignore the feeling of imminent panic and anxiety that washes over him, the rain is soothing to his ears as heavy as it. Spencer hands around the steering wheel are gripped tight enough to make the pads of his fingers white. His skin is hot, chest covered in a light sheen of sweat as he thinks of what's going to happen when he gets there - or moreso, if anything has happened. Spencer's thoughts are deafened by his own uncertainty - he owes it to you to tell you but if it’s too late for him he may never come back from that. He needed to tell you because you deserved to know but the thought of nothing happening hurts him. He’d rather you didn’t know but that’s not fair.
Spencer's thoughts of your ex-boyfriend pop up and he feels guilty. He’s tearing himself to pieces finding every reason in the world not to tell you, but he had to make the right choice because you were braver than he could ever be. He wants to show you he’s changed and that he won’t run from this. He refused to run from you. 
His hands shake when he knocks. His hair is wet and the water seems to soak through parts of his old jacket. He looked like a mess he was sure but it didn’t matter. Spencer was so anxious, he doesn’t remember the last time he ever felt this anxious. 
When you open the door with a smile - that’s when Spencer knows you were the love of his life. He just looked at you, looks at you with sunken eyes that flit over your face with a feeling you can’t explain. Spencer needed you, maybe more than you needed him. 
“Hey, Spencer,” You say warmly. Spencer walks inside and you close the door behind him. He looks at you for a second, taking his jacket off as he just looks to you in silence. He wants to spit the words out, he wants to say them so the two of you can get caught up together. Spencer wants to be yours, and for you to be his and then some. Spencer loves you. 
“What’s up?,” you ask quietly, seating yourself next to Spence whose found himself a spot on the couch. You grab his hands and play with his fingers for a few seconds, the touch is just so damn intimate. You loved Spencer, so much more than you could explain. You had that little anxious bubble in your chest about what could happen - that ‘maybe’ that brought you so many restless nights. You wondered if today was the day but before you go to dismiss the thought, you feel Spencers hands under your chin. He lifts your face up, eyes examining your face carefully. His scruff was nice, he looked different than before. 
Before you can ask, Spencer kisses you. It’s out of character, and in many ways out of place for him. He’s not the type to kiss anyone out of the blue but he doesn’t know else to break the tension with any language other than physical. It's the way his lips melt to yours, the way you kiss him back immediately, the way his lips have a way of holding yours. The way his hands hold your face up. It was everything that made you remember that Spencer was fucking kiss you. Kissing you like he was the reason he was breathing. Curled around your very existence, with his lips giving you their every secret. This kiss was an exchange in secrets, but more than an assurance. Spencer kisses you, and you kiss him back and the whole universe is still. 
When Spencer pulls away, you’re more than speechless. You look at Spencer, looking in his eyes for regret and you find none. Solace, maybe but no regret. You just look down, too scared to look at him again but he stops you, lifting your face up again. 
“Don’t hide from me please,” Spencer croaks “I need to look at you,” 
“Why?,” 
“To make sure you’re real,” Spencers confession makes your body heat up. 
“What’s gotten into you?,” you laugh nervously. You think Spencer will follow in suit, going back to being silly with you like normal but he doesn’t falter. He holds both of your hands and looks down, your eyes still fixated on him. Spencer sighs. 
“I read your letter, from when your dad died. I never had a chance to listen to that song, but I did. I normally did but that one somehow managed to miss me and..,” he trails off, like his thoughts are moving too fast for him to say what he wants to. You swallow thickly. So he knows, you figure. 
“It’s okay if you don’t, you know, return those feelings,” your voice chokes out. Spencer laughs. 
“You’d be a fool to think something like that,” Spencer says earnestly. You choke a little violently. 
“Oh?,” 
Spencer turns to look at you again. His eyes are full of something, and this time you know the feeling. You give it to him often, that look of adoration That “You’re so stupid, please marry me,” look you give to the person you want to love most in this life. 
“My whole life, I couldn’t afford to believe in anything related to destiny. I didn’t believe in miracles, or destiny, or a lot of other things for a long time. Sometimes I still don’t, like when cases go so bad that the whole team is left with that hollow feeling,” Spencer starts “I try my best to remember joy and happiness, and sometimes I do believe in miracles but it’s not everyday. Sometimes the pain was just too heavy,” 
“When I started taking dilaudid again, I was just trying to cope with the pain. My life can feel like a series of unfortunate events sometimes,” Spencer says softly. The grip he has on your hands tightens just a little bit. 
“I’ve been wanting to give you this confession for weeks, but like always you’ve proved to be more brave than I could ever be. Of course you figured it out first, who could be surprised but,” Spencer pauses for a second. 
“You’re the love of my life. Maybe it’s too much to say right now, maybe enough time hasn’t passed for me to decide that but if I said anything less I’d be lying to you, and I don’t want to lie to you ever again,” Spencers voice is barely above a whisper. 
“Y/N, you’re the only woman I could ever love this much. Those two months, those words that you gave me are what kept me sane. It was thoughts of your voice and your touch that kept me alive. It was your kindness that gave me strength, your love that gave me courage. It was you that reminded me of what it feels like to have hope, and perhaps even believe in miracles and destiny,” Spencers crying and so are you, but you still managed to hold eachother. 
“I’m wholly in love with you. I really don’t know how to say anything else. Please be mine because for now, loving you is all I really want to do,” Spencer says the last part with a small voice. The butterflies in your stomach make it hard for you to speak and you’re crying so much you have a headache. You want to kiss him, and say something back but for now you’re just crying a little bit. You’d clear all the grey clouds in the world to give Spencer some sunshine. 
“It’s always been you, dickhead,” you say through giggles. Spencer loves the sound of your laugh, if he could he would bottle up and keep it for himself to wear around his neck. Spencer wants to wear your name around your neck so the whole world knew he was yours and you were his. 
You can’t hold yourself back from moving into Spencer's lap, bare thighs over his legs as you lean into his neck. You adored Spencer and you knew that for so long, but you always figured he didn’t feel the same. That song was your confession, and when he didn’t listen you always figured he didn’t feel it. Miscommunication is a hell of a drug, you figure. You were here now, wrapped in Spencer and more than ready to give him all of you. You adored Spencer, the way his mind worked full of cogs and his heart was full of affection. It was everything Spencer did when he was getting better, giving you purpose. Spencer made you feel at ease, always. Even when bad things seemed to swallow you up, Spencer gave you ease. 
You look up at Spencer, there are small tears in your eyes when you do. You straddle his lap, and kiss him again. Holding your waist, Spencer smiles. He’s so grateful to be touching you like this. Spencer wants all of you to himself and he’d be damned if he was selfish for it. 
“Spencer,” your voice is small, but happy. Spencer hums, wrapped up in the way the two of you kiss for him to be upset. You look up at him, into him in the way only you can and speak again. 
“Make love to me,” your question is quiet. Spencer immediately became a little unsteady but he understood your request. That term “make love,” used to gross you out but you got it now. Sex and love are different - but sometimes you used sex to make love. To feel someone so close to you like that, you wanted to make love with Spencer. You wanted to have marks all over your skin so that the sight of him could be there forever, and for him to fuck you like you were the only thing he needed. Spencer wanted to make you feel wanted, and you wanted him to want you all the same. So, Spencer smiles, places a hand on boths sides of your face and kisses you slowly. Spencer loves you, adores you and wants to make you feel beautiful. 
“You wanna go to your room?,” Spencer asks. You nod, and Spencer lifts you up before carrying you. You’re wrapped around him, yelping at his surprising strength. 
Spencer lays you down, eyes glassy as he looks at your figure. He’s admiring you - he wants to make you feel pretty. You’re the prettiest woman in the world to him, and all he wants to do is make you feel it. He leans into you, his body pressed to yours as your legs are tangled. Spencer always cradles your face when he kisses you, as if he’s trying to hold you as close to him as possible. Spencer treats you like glass, his touch an ink stain leaving your body with permanent color as he kisses you. His tongue pushes past your lips softly, before pulling back. His fingers are so nimble, tugging with the sides of your shirt, staving himself off as he feels your bare thighs. 
His mouth moves to your neck, peppering kisses along the sides of the column of your throat. He grips your thighs, feeling your wrap your legs around his waist pulling him closer. Spencer tugs at the ends of your shirt, detaching from you so you can get it off. He chokes at the sight of you without your top on and you can’t help but hide your face. Spencer's face leans in, taking your nipple in his while he uses his free hand to gently brush against the other one. 
“You’re beautiful, you look so good like this,” Spencer comments. A soft whine escapes your lips at the combination of words and Spencers touch. He was sweet with every movement but damn he had way too many clothes on. 
“Spence, take it off,” you whine. Spencer gives you a small laugh, taking off his shirt before hovering over you again. His body was surprisingly toned from being out in the field and you definitely weren’t upset about seeing it. Your hands find their way around his waist, touching his skin in appreciation. He gives you a shy smile, before his head ducks down again, moving to kiss down past your breasts to your stomach and above your naval. His kisses are gentle, mouth careful in leaving them in as many places as possible. He stops when he ghosts his mouth over your panties, placing a kiss on your vulva - a wet spot formed on the light color. Spencer moves to kiss your thighs, getting close to your center and taking his time with it. Small hickies take place all along your skin, Spencer wanted to mark the word “mine,” into your skin with his mouth. He wanted you to think of him always, but especially when you were doing this. 
Your breaths are staggered and heavy, as Spencer rubs you down with his hands - palms massaging your legs as he touched you. For the first time in your life, when someone touched you could feel how much they meant it. Maybe it’s because Spencer manages to make things you’ve felt before feel different - he makes everything feel better. 
Spencer slides your panties down your legs carefully. His eyes are low when he sees your clit, sensitive and aching for his attention. He places a kiss on it first before he sticks his tongue out flat for you. Your fingers grip his hair immediately, legs wrapped around his shoulders where you could see him shift his weight to unzip his jeans and get himself off which only worked you up farther. Spencer eats you out like he’s been starved of you his whole life, head rhythmic as he brings you to your orgasm and slows down. He’s making an attempt to savor you but enjoys the sound of irritation you make every time he stops, something he’d explore farther at a later date. You’d gotten head before but it always came off as a favor and not like your partner wanted to do it for you. Spencer made sure you knew he wanted just as much as you did. 
You orgasm in Spencer mouth twice in borderline succession as Spencer refuses to pull away, smiling as he holds your hips down and makes your whole body shiver. You have to catch your breath when he finally spares you and gives you a toothy-boyish grin of satisfaction that you only ever saw when he beats you in a card game. You look down at him adoringly, wanting to cry at how lucky you felt. You pull him to kiss you and he looks at you for a second - a questioning one since he just had his tongue inside you. You roll your eyes in a “duh, that’s the point way,” and Spencer swallows thickly. 
“Do you want me to return the favor? Because I’m more than happy too,” you say reaching for his dick, which twitched at your touch. Spencer shakes his head. 
“Not right now, wanna focus on you tonight,” Spencer replies. You look at him with the most affectionate puppy dog eyes and Spencer bursts out into full giggles. God, he loved you. 
“Can I?,” Spencers question is tentative, and all you do in response is open your legs up wider for him and give him a nod. You mouth a “please,” to him and Spencer just smiles, kissing you softly. 
Spencer stretches you out so fucking good. He’s careful, whispering pretty nothings about how beautiful you are and how lucky he was. The words were only fuel to the fire as you tighten around Spencer and some choked sound leaves his throat. Out of curiosity, you do it again and Spencer moans aloud. You give him a raised eyebrow and his voice is suddenly low. 
“Do that again and I’ll cum,” Spencer warns. You giggled for a second before looking up at Spencer's face. 
“You can cum in me if you’d like to,” you say, voice innocent  “I’m on the pill,” Spencer wants to cum right then and there but he pauses to take a deep breath. 
“Think I’ll have to take you up on that,” Spencer groans. You use one hand to rub your clit as Spencer pulls his hips back and starts to fuck you. The motion is slow at first, not wanting to hurt you but your voice in his ear only urges you to go deeper. 
“I’m so lucky to have you like this love, you’re so pretty for me,” Spencer's praises are so sweet to you. Sugar to aching ears when he speaks lovely words for you. You whine. 
“Spencer please cum in me - god, please,” you egg Spencer on as you get yourself off one last time. Spencer presses his forehead to yours, pausing for a second to kiss you sweetly before pounding into you again. 
“Shit,” Spencer's voice feels like it gets stolen from him as he finishes inside, feeling your orgasm aftermath convulse around him pushes him off the edge as you look at him warmly, a soft blush flooding your expression. 
“I love you so much,” you giggle to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and allowing him to rest his body weight on you. Spencer wants to stay with you like this forever, wanting to wrap you up in his arms and hold you for eternity. He was hoping you’d let him. 
“I wanna stay like this, but let’s go get cleaned up first,” you say thoughtfully “I can wash your hair for you and we can shower together,” you say softly. Tears well up in Spencers eyes - remember the last time you did just that for him. He nods softly, burying his face in your neck, kissing new bruises that were soon to become dark purples. 
____
You come out of the shower first as you hear a knock on your door. It’s been a few minutes and the knocking has been incessant, you figure it’s a neighbor or maybe someone who needed help. You wrap your robe around yourself and towel around your hair before you open up the door. 
To your fucking dismay, it’s JJ, Emily, and Penelope - all stood outside with a bottle of wine as a greeting. Your eyes pop open immediately as you try to brush away the panic and give them all a fake smile. 
“Hey guys! What are you all doing here so late?,” you ask, internal panic threatening your life. They all give you a knowing look. 
“Well, we wanted to talk to you about something and we figure -,” Garcia starts but is interrupted by the sound of Spencer's voice, calling out to you as he walks out of the shower and in view of the open door. He can’t see them, but they can see him and he’s covered in hickies. You shut your eyes in disbelief as they all go dead silent. 
“Oh - oh my god is that Spencer?,” JJ asks shocked. You’re going to throw yourself in front of a bus. 
“Shit,” Spencer bolts into the other room leaving you to deal with the mess. You were so gonna get him for that later. You give them all an apologetic look. 
“We, uh - yeah,” you say a little distant. They all just giving you a knowing look, even Garcia even though that’s mixed with a bit of disgust. 
“We’ll see you on Monday, Y/N,” Emily says, being an angel and cutting the conversation short. You just nod as she drags a blabbering Garcia and deadsilent JJ away, reminding yourself to send her a thank you note later on. You walk into the room with Spencer and he gives you a guilty look, eyes apologetic as you roll your eyes, walking up to him to kiss him. 
“You’re so goddamn lucky I like you, dickhead,”
“You like me?,” Spencer asks, wrapping his arms around your waist before falling over to lay down with you. 
“Oh shut up, you know I do,” your tone is mean but your face gives you away. Spencer kisses you long and slow before looking at you again. The room is barred with loving silence, it feels every part of the air. It’s domestic, soft and adoring. A person whose love made you feel child-like joy but whose being brought your soul such comfort. You and Spencer lay in your bedroom like that for a while. 
“We should change right?” you ask laughing. Spencer nods. 
“I have clothes for you in my dresser,” you remind. Spencer nods as he stands up, slipping on some boxers and a shirt. You change into some old college pj’s and shorts and get laid up next to Spencer. 
There’s this silence that fills the room. It’s difficult to describe, the feeling of it is so new and hard to pinpoint exactly. You can feel it just barely on your skin, the way Spencer's arms hold your waist as the two of you lay next to each other, closing the gaps of space that fall between you - just itching for that familiar feeling of closeness. Spencer Reid was the closest thing to heaven you ever got - scruffy face and curious eyes. It’s hard to find truth in another person, yet stil Spencer shows up for you and kisses away all your nightmares. Loving him was so certain, but the fact that he loved you too felt unreal, still. Maybe it always would. It was a lot for you to take in but the feeling of him at your side, face on your chest sleepily messing with your hands. The way he looks up at you with such a pretty expression, mouthing the words I love you. It was the silence in the room and the cadence it managed - the soft and lulling adoration buzzing the nerves on your skin and kissing you awake. This was more than love, but faith. A regained faith in the notion that good things really can happen to good people. Spencer's love to you was a promise from the universe that good things are always around you even if you don’t see it at first. 
Spencer is so relaxed against you now, you read his body language and can feel his exhaustion. You were so attuned to him, fingers aching  to run through his hair and tell him how proud you were. Spencer made your heart light - his beaming smile turning you flush. Beautiful - him, this, the universe. Loving Spencer made the world feel so beautiful, even though both of you encountered such darkness in it. You were going to marry him someday, you were so sure of it. Someday you and Spencer would grow old and live with some livestock in a cottage somewhere far from here like he wanted. Or maybe a house in the suburbs with two babies you call your own - and a cat, and a dog too. Anything would work for you, but Spencer is probably a bit more picky. 
For you and Dr. Spencer Reid, love has always been a case study in body language. People lie, or hide the truth when they talk - so the two of you have never fallen in love with the words you may exchange. Instead you’ve fallen in love with the gentle touches, the longing glances and lingering hugs - or the feeling of their skin on yours when the night is too cold to be alone. It was the dilating pupils, and the feelings that universe seemed to fall away when the two of you shared looks to each other. You fell for Spencers subconscious before you ever fell for his mind or his body - the little things he did like raising his shoulders when he was happy, or fiddling with your hands when he was deep in thought, you fell in love with the things Spencer would never see for himself and he did the same for you. Spencer fell for the way you moved without thinking. For the person you were when all the curtains were closed. 
Love is anything but conscious. Love is deep-rooted in the sheer notion of that being alive is worth something, which is to say love is the basis of life. Not romantic love - but all love. Love is the basis of life. Spencer Reid loved you, sharing a piece of his life. In returns you gave him yours. An eye for an eye can give us sight we could never have before, if the exchange is born of adoration. 
There are still so many unresolved knots to tie, but for now it didn’t matter. Just like those first two months, Spencer is laying at your side and he smells like you. For now, he was here with you - as the two of you fell so deeply for each other as the seconds passed. There are so many questions to answer, but that’s okay for now. 
You two had all the time in the world to figure the rest out, and for him - thats more than enough. 
This silence was more than enough.
____
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