#Psychological Essays

[chihirolovebot]

on a real note that bit near the end of the video was genuinely haunting. hearing somerton talk about how gay writers are erased from history was one thing (with all the irony being that he stepped on the backs of numerous underpaid, underprivileged and uncredited queer writers to build his youtube channel) but when h revealed it wasn't even somerton's quote in the first place? the worst, most crushing sort of irony. how do you lament about the erasure of gay people and gay writers in history... whilst erasing a gay writer and taking his words as your own?

#it's genuinely unconscionable and its given me a lot to think about #i found somerton through his video essay on killing stalking #one of my favourite psychological horrors #i was overjoyed to find someone who seemed to recognise it for the dark character study of trauma and abuse that it was #and not a love story #now all i want to do is go back to that video and search up the phrases in google #to see who really wrote those words and phrases that got to me so deeply #fuck man . what a disappointment #james somerton #hbomberguy #veetxt

[that-one-girls-blog-posts]

Nothing worse than getting into a new subject and having no one to discuss it with

#self education #nerdy girls #philosophy #psychology #neurology #spirituality #religion #ethics #esoteric #literature #pop culture #video essay #art #art history #history #science #astronomy #quantum physics #politics #documentary #aa

[drawfee-quot3s]

[julia, drawing a alpha minion]

why's this look like sigmund freud

- jacob

#and hes not wrong #i had to google to double check but yeah #did psychology gcse and we studied him and little hans' giraffe dream #nd the wonderful thing about freud is that he sparks so many opinions so i kept coming up with stuff to write ab for this essay #anyway #drawfee #drawfee quotes #drawfee video #jacob andrews #jacob drawfee #drawing “joker memes” based only on the text

[dootznbootz]

To ME, The Iliad and The Odyssey are about the different reactions to trauma and "hate".

The Iliad is about how a man gets destroyed by hatred. Achilles is "destroyed" metaphorically because his hatred and grief caused him to lose his "humanity". Hector is killed by a man filled with so much hatred (Achilles). Both men are "gone".

The Odyssey, being what happens directly after, is about how a man can come BACK from such hatred. Menelaus and Nestor, while still in pain from the war (the time, friends, and family they lost), are still able to move forward and live normal lives. We watch this happen in real time through Odysseus.

Odysseus' name means to hate and be hated, something he's been probably doing since he left Ithaca to a degree. You could even see the slaughter of the suitors as being the "final fight" he has to go through before the "healing". He gains back his humanity, kingdom, and identity by loving and being loved. (Niko's post about Odysseus and his identity. It delves further into all that well!)

Some people are lost to war and some people CAN come back from it. While the ancients (of every culture as well!) didn't have the semi-universal term PTSD yet, they knew damn well people who have experienced trauma tend to be "different" afterward and had their own stories and even some "remedies"

Other ancient works, such as those by Hippocrates, describe soldiers who experienced frightening battle dreams. (Source, whole article gives more info on ancient PTSD too!)

Celsus, a Roman doctor described a condition named Insania sine fibre.

In Ancient Mesopotamia, “They described hearing and seeing ghosts talking to them, who would be the ghosts of people they’d killed in battle – and that’s exactly the experience of modern-day soldiers who’ve been involved in close hand-to-hand combat.” (Source)

This is my own interpretation, but in a way, I think the Epic Cycle is...showcasing that. The Iliad shows how trauma can "end" a person. And The Odyssey is kind of a way to give some hope to folks in a "Hey, you CAN get better. You CAN have your life back."

#I have not really edited this and looked it over as much as I should have but meh! #also if someone else has already thought and talked about this. I can give credit and/or delete it! #I have a lot of feelings on this. as I love history. Psychology. and literature and the Iliad/Odyssey to ME is all 3 #I could just interpret it this way since...ya know👀so I could be talking absolute nonsense but I wanted to know what others think! #I think it's why I love the Odyssey and Odysseus so much. There's always hope to heal. There's always hope in getting better! #good analysis' use sources when they can😤 even though this is extremely casual and for the homies on tumblr lol #odyssey #odysseus #hector of troy #tagamemnon #greek mythology #iliad #achilles #psychology #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #essay

[smart-academic-solutions]

How to Write an Outstanding Psychology Case Study: Expert Tips

To craft an outstanding psychology case study, follow these expert tips. Commence with a brief introduction, summarizing your case study's key components.

Case Selection: Begin by selecting a compelling and relevant case, ensuring it aligns with your research interests.

Ethical Considerations: Emphasize the importance of informed consent and ethical adherence when working with human subjects.

Structure: Highlight the need for a well-structured format with distinct sections, like the introduction, background, methods, results, discussion, and conclusion.

Detailed Background: Offer a comprehensive background of the case, encompassing historical context, demographic information, and any prior research.

Theoretical Framework: Utilize psychological theories or models to analyze the case, providing a deeper understanding.

Data Analysis: Elaborate on the data collection methods, and use clear visuals to present results.

Conclude your psychology case study with a strong summary and reflection.

Key Findings: Reiterate the most significant findings and discuss their broader implications.

Research Question: Clearly articulate how the case study addresses the initial research question.

Field Contribution: Emphasize the study's contributions to the wider field of psychology.

Limitations and Future Work: Acknowledge study limitations and propose potential areas for future research.

Final Message: Conclude with a final message emphasizing the relevance of your case study and its impact.

By adhering to these expert tips, you can create an exceptional psychology case study that informs, enlightens, and advances the field.

#college #college life #student #study #studying #university #student life #study space #study hard #exam stress #my wriitng #writer problems #essay writing #writers on tumblr #psychology #exam preparation #writing

[bleue-flora]

There has been a lot of discussion regarding c!Quackity, c!Tommy and c!Dream recently, a good portion stemming from the recent video circling around, where it is depicted that c!Tommy not only knew of c!Quackity’s torture but approved.

But while I could write an essay about it (ok yea I did…but) instead I want to shift the focus a bit, away from the same debates we keep having year after year. Because I think we’ve become too focused on the characters themselves over the audience's perception of them and too focused on morality, justification, and right and wrong in a story where everyone is morally questionable. Because at the end of the day it isn’t whether c!Dream or c!Tommy were actually right or justified, it is about - Who you root for and why. It is about (you) the audience's perception of the characters, not the characters’ perceptions of each other. Sure, c!Tommy himself feels justified in hurting c!Dream but do you believe he was.

With that thought in mind I found myself reading a 24 page research paper last night on a psychological study that looked at what an audience defines as the hero and villain. Why they are naturally pulled to like certain characters and hate others. What the audience’s classification of morality in regard to the characters of fiction where the conditions of morality are often not defined. One of the things shown in the data and line up to real life is that at the end of the day, heroes and villains are not defined on true purity and morality itself. If they were, action heroes and anti-heroes wouldn’t be successful and enticing. And yet, anti-heroes are some of the most beloved characters. In fact, I for one am typically drawn to violent anti-heroes, some of which are the heroes despite being perhaps sadistic murderers and torturers. But if the audience doesn’t simply define hero and villain as ‘good’ and ‘evil’ then what is pulling us toward taking one side over the other.

The answer is actually more complex than you might think. According to this paper, the first thing taken into consideration in a viewer’s appeal or unappeal of a character has to do with what the viewer considers “appropriate behavior.” Simply put, “appropriateness” is basically a social judgment which serves to approve or disapprove of a character’s behavior. This can be based on many things, such as cultural norms, societal code of conduct, your personal morals or experiences. And I think this is key, because I for one see stealing and griefing when I play Minecraft as seriously hurtful things to do (even though you can always rebuild). To the point that if you blow up the house I spent hours building or take my items it can ruin the fun for me entirely. So my definition of the appropriateness of such behavior might differ from people who take those things much more light-heartedly, causing me to disapprove of c!Tommy more than they would for that behavior.

Even further, when it comes to determining their appropriateness of behavior as in whether we tend to approve or disapprove of them we can look at moral domains, which spark our moral intuition instead of simply categorizing everything into ‘good’ or ‘bad’ since not even our subconscious brain is always so black and white. In the research I read, they looked at two sets of domains (aka sets of relating attributes used to measure and compare): The person-perception domains of Warmth (tolerant, friendly, warm, polite, gentle, trustworthy), Competence (intelligence, cleverness, opposite of stupidity, efficiency) and Duplicity (mad, tormented, violent, and tragic), which help to measure our perception of morality in characters as well as the five moral domains of MFT - harm/care (concerned with the suffering of others and empathy), fairness/reciprocity (related to justice), authority/respect (related to hierarchy and dominance), ingroup/loyalty (common good and punitiveness toward outsiders), purity/sanctity (concerned with contamination). According to the research behind these domains, we, the viewer, evaluate characters immediately and without cognitive deliberation. In other words, when characters fulfill domains it sticks with us and when they violate domains it can send out major red flags to us as soon as it happens without us thinking about it, not later in more considerate retrospect. So then, it makes sense that now as we debate we struggle to find common ground because our judgment was made ages ago and it's hard to reason with our already defined moral intuition.

As such, since I started getting into the dsmp first by watching all of the recordings of previous streams in order in this one playlist then going onto watching all of the blueberrytv videos (at the time of course), which edit the streams to allow you to see things from multiple perspectives. Therefore, I watched things from the very beginning, back when it was just c!George and c!Dream goofing off and dying in the nether. So, my intuitive judgment of c!Dream involves him building the community house, always trying to keep the peace between his friends, exploring the world so he can bring back all the types for wood for people to build with, building the prime path to connect everyone's houses together to make for easier travel, rebuilding Tubbo’s house after c!Tommy burned it down, helping c!Ponk when people kept burning down his house. These are just some of the moments I suspect helped to form my evaluation of him. Showing him as being very empathetic and caring, being loyal to his friends and accepting of new people, being a mediator and trying to keep things fair between his friends, fulfilling at least 3 (since he kinda is the authority that is hard to classify) of the moral domains. The streams also depicted the characteristics with warmth as well as competence and intelligence. So immediately my perceptive moral intuition deemed him the hero. As he fulfilled the warmth and competence domains of the one method and most of the domains of the other method without violating them in an obvious enough manner for me to remember at this moment (These are by no means the only reasons why I’d be inclined to root for c!Dream but that's beside the point).

On the other hand, my introduction to c!Tommy was him immediately breaking the three rules, by going around taking down donator’s signs, griefing, stealing, claiming things and property as his, trying to kill people until he ends up being banned. So he hurt others and causes harm, he is invited to join and have fun but fails to reciprocate that by going about and messing things up, he immediately disrespects everyone and defies authority by breaking the rules, hard to say on loyalty though (as mentioned above) him burning down c!Tubbo’s, his best friend, house doesn’t give me the impression of loyalty, concerning purity he scams and lies, is obsessed (though hardly the only one) with male genitalia (which I personally find unsavory) and is disrespectful towards women so definitely failing in the purity and sanctity domain as well. In regards to warmth, I wouldn’t say so, nor particularly competent, though certainly meeting the more violent and aggressive elements of duplicity. So in other words, in just his first few streams he has violated every moral domain, while also not meeting the warmth or competence but meeting duplicity. So immediately my impression of him is to dislike and disprove as my moral intuition labels him as a villain.

In other words, perhaps our affinity for characters and perception of their morality has less to do with actual legal or other measurements of morality but more of what our initial impression was that formed our judgment from the very start. Because at the end of the day, I feel like the discussion needs to be less about whether this character or that character is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ because their motivation or trauma justifies their behavior and more about what qualities do you appreciate about the character. At the end of the day, it's fiction and you should be able to love or hate whatever character you want regardless of morality or right & wrong. It’s your opinion and I don’t see other fandoms shaming and bashing other people for liking a certain character that others dislike and/or the protagonist dislikes meaning therefore they are bad so how can you like them. But in the same way, I should also be able to hate a character without being bashed for not being empathetic to their trauma… Anyways I think the idea that we all see characters as justified and innocent in our own way is cool, especially in respect to the dsmp which is told from all angles, and that’s what I set out to learn more about and share with you. Hopefully, you have enjoyed my findings and I made sense (…..and if it didn’t, you are always welcome to ask or add on :D), sorry for the length I’m beginning to realize conciseness is not my strong suit…

I hope with this interesting angle, we can lean away from discussions on legal, moral, crime, trauma and more towards questions of preference and characteristics and personal perception - Why do you root for them? What was your introduction to the characters? How do you think that impacted your viewpoint on the story? Has your viewpoint ever changed? What do you think helped define your definition of ‘appropriateness’?… etc <3 <3

#dsmp analysis #don’t mind be doing research as a hobby lol… psychology is fascinating… apparently there is a different research paper about villians #which derived the warmth competence and duplicity domains… so I may need to read that ;)…… #at somepoint I want to go through every dsmp character and define them as character types -villain hero anti-hero anti-villain…etc #I think it’d be interesting to see where the actual pieces fall based on traits versus just people declaring it doe themselves XD #c!dream #dsmp #dreblr #dream smp #dsmp dream #did someone order an essay? #nope?….oops lol XD #c!dream and c!tommy #c!tommy #dsmpblr #character analysis #(shhh… but if you want me to release the essay I wrote on c!Tommy then ya know…… I will….. >;] #this is fine

[thunderon]

honestly i need more pre-crash yellowjackets soccer content because i do feel like it cannot be overstated how strongly them being a team prior to the crash influenced their behavior in the wilderness

anyways i know in my soul that coach martinez was one of those old school coaches who ran the varsity girls soccer program like it was the military. and listen every group scene in the wilderness screamed that coach martinez loved using group punishment. liberally.

#yellowjackets #op #cmon where my jocks at #i have a lot of thoughts on this actually #originally wrote this post and it was like an essay #i chopped off like 5 paragraphs #because it was turning into an analysis on the psychology of group punishment #i had to pump the brakes it was getting out of hand

[enchantedlandcoffee]

Inspired by today's events

#ash's art #harry styles #harry styles fan art #digital art #one direction #fan art #this happened instead of my psychology essay

[thatsingingpsycho]

On Falling in Love And Loving Someone

#onfallinginlove #loving someone #short essay #essays #psychology

[ariainstars]

How to Portray Real Love - and How Not to

Warning: long post.

Call Me by Your Name (2017)

To anyone who loves this movie:

I will not apologize for what I am going to write. It’s my own take, yes, but in my opinion all of this ought to be obvious to anyone watching the movie.

I will not refer to André Aciman’s book, not having read it.

I am Italian and I grew up in places like we see in the movie. I’m not denying that the way it’s shot and the general atmosphere are often gorgeous, but that was not sufficient to convince me that this movie is romantic, probably because I’m used to it.

What This is Not: Grooming / Sexual Predation

Reading up reactions to this movie, I have stumbled often over criticism about the age gap between the two protagonists. In my opinion this is beside the point: we are speaking of 7 years, not of a generational gap, and Oliver is still a student. Elio is mature for his age, and after some initial reticence, he approaches Oliver by himself over and over. His family knows and encourages (or at least doesn't oppose) them, and Elio has more than one opportunity to say no, which he doesn’t take.

Oliver is not a predator. He’s confused, but that’s not because he doesn't feel the attraction between himself and Elio: he simply doesn’t understand it.

Elephant in the room no. 1: Oliver is a bad person.

Oliver comes across as irreverent and self-absorbed. He does not respect boundaries, does not knock on doors, does not fit in with the lifestyle and customs of his hosts, only occasionally he does things that will make people think well of him. Early in their acquaintance he expects Elio to tell him what he is going on in his head but doesn't do the same in return (he never does, even later); his entire behaviour seems to be aimed at irritating and challenging his surroundings.

There is no depth in Oliver, no creativity, contrarily to Elio who already composes at age 17; somehow Oliver seems to know that he is the inferior one. At times he is downright offensive to Elio, for no reason at all, like he wasn’t a guest in their house. Oliver moves around in a foreign place like everybody owes him; he does not wonder, question, ask for explanations. He plays with Elio’s youthful insecurity, who is still hardly shaving and feels in the shadow of Oliver’s allegedly superior manliness. It is not surprising that to Elio he soon appears as some kind of handsome, unreachable prince.

Oliver is the kind of person who manages, on purpose or not, to convince the people around him that he is someone special, irresistible, and that being his friend or lover is a privilege. Elio falls for it, and Oliver picks the fruit of that attraction. Oliver does not love Elio because he does not love anyone, being too busy with thinking of himself.

At first Elio doesn’t like him; he notices that although Oliver never shows regard for anyone, he gets away with it. Elio’s family and friends fall for his self-assuredness and expect him to befriend Oliver. Piqued by the fact that Elio is the only person who is wary around him (with good reason!), Oliver repeatedly behaves in a way that frustrates Elio, repeatedly invading his private space, ignoring his limits, alternating insults with niceties, giving him attention one minute and completely ignoring him the next. And he never seems scheming picking at Elio’s insecurities whenever he gets a pass: it’s like second nature to him. He doesn’t do it because he loves Elio and doesn’t want to admit it, because he’s scared or something like that; he does it because he can, and because it works. He wants Elio to look up to him the way everybody does. After a while, the insecure Elio gets obsessed with wanting the older man’s approval.

Oliver starts a relationship with Elio knowing that the younger man has a girlfriend; he doesn’t even ask about her, whether Elio broke up with her etc. Oliver seems to believe that Elio owes him his undivided attention. By keeping their relationship a secret, Oliver makes the hapless Elio his accomplice. Even if he wanted to or if he would slowly begin to suspect that something's not right, he couldn’t talk to anyone about it. No one would believe him anyway, since everybody thinks the world of Oliver.

Oliver humiliates Elio, who by then is his lover, when he finds out about the peach: he laughs at him, not with him. (Why was Elio masturbating anyway, while he was in a sexual relationship?) When they are in Bergamo Oliver starts partying with random strangers on the street (with a woman!) when Elio is about to be sick: an observant lover would have noticed it before it was too late. Although they live under the same roof, he never sleeps in the same bed with him but gets up earlier, even when they are sharing a hotel room. He never tells Elio what is making him refrain from intimacy.

Oliver destroys Elio’s creativity by commenting negatively both on his composition and his impassioned love letter; we never see the young man making music or writing again. Shouldn’t a person in requited love feel inspired and happy and want to sing and play all day long? That he gives up on his interests already foreshadows the deep depression Elio is destined to fall into.

Viewers who love this movie like to argue that Oliver is so distant because he’s afraid of hurting Elio or shy because he’s in the closet. But it’s plain to see that Oliver knows exactly what he’s doing. He just doesn’t understand why because he’s not the kind of person who second-guesses himself. He’s controlling a power play with a younger man, probably because he doesn’t know how to have a genuine relationship with anyone. And Elio is too defenceless against him. When his mother comes to pick him up at the railway station and his voice breaks on the phone, it is obvious what a child Elio still is interiorly. He didn’t grow up through this relationship. He didn’t know what he was getting into and then had to pay the full price for another man’s egotism.

As the movie comes to a close, we can see that what he and Elio shared did hit Oliver harder than he had expected, but not enough for him to change, or only to reflect about it. Oliver is not aware of what he’s doing to Elio; to him everything is fun and games while to Elio it’s a life-changing experience.

Elephant in the room no. 2: Elio is not in love, he’s hooked.

Elio begins to imitate Oliver like a younger brother would do with the older - he smokes, wears a Jewish symbol on a chain, he has sex with Marzia only to prove a point because he knows Oliver had sex with Chiara. After a while, he gets obsessed with wanting the older man’s approval, for him to see him as an equal instead of an annoying boy he can either ignore or boss around.

Being both intellectual and highly sensitive, Elio believes that the more experienced and seemingly more mature Oliver must know the answers to life’s most burning questions; which Oliver doesn’t, as much as Elio wishes he would.

There isn’t the slightest sign of genuine love coming from Oliver; he only takes. Elio, being a giving, honest person, falls into a trap. Oliver has caught Elio and also half a dozen other people in his net, but he never had the slightest intention to put his roots down and actually like anyone back. Oliver’s attitude towards Elio is avoidant, but that is not because he wants to prevent him or himself from getting hurt; it’s because he doesn’t want to get attached and have to face the consequences.

In the scene where we first see Oliver interact with the family, he says at breakfast that he shouldn’t eat an egg because otherwise he’ll eat two, three, and more until they will have to roll him away. This already shows what kind of person Oliver is: he doesn’t know when to stop. Elio mistakenly believes that this lack of restrain, this want of limits is a sign of superior maturity and self-assuredness. He won’t realize to the last that in truth this attitude shows nothing short of a total lack of responsibility.

Elio says so to his father once: he does not play poker. Oliver is a poker player through and through. Despite the poetic request to “call him by his name”, Oliver remains shrouded in mystery. He does not change; while Elio wakes up, both sexually and emotionally.

There also is the symbolism: the dying fish gasping its least breath with eyes wide open (symbolizing Elio), the bronze statue, beautiful but cold and lifeless (symbolizing Oliver). The connection is made by the fact that both tokens come from the water.

All Oliver wanted and expected was to spend a good time in Italy with no strings attached. Which also is why we hardly see him working and studying, the way he’s supposed to. After all he did to Elio, his final revelation that he has a girlfriend and is about to marry her is only the coup de grâce.

Elephant in the room no. 3: Elio’s father is a fool.

I couldn’t bring myself to admire Elio’s father for what he said to his son, presumably wanting to comfort him: that “it had been a particularly beautiful thing between them”, and “he wished he would have made such an experience.”

How does he know what happened in detail? Does he know what is in these two young men’s hearts? Does he know about the humiliations Oliver inflicted on Elio? Probably not, but in any case, Oliver has given him no reason to believe that he’s a good person the way he claims.

We did not see father and son interact at all before this scene. All we learn is that both Elio’s parents expect their son to be nice to their guest and to befriend him, and that they don’t mind if there is more than friendship. We never learn whether Elio’s father loves him and cares for him (at least his mother shows affection from time to time). Imagine needing to have your entire world and happiness destroyed just so your father will finally give you some attention and kindness.

Elio’s father never changes his mind, even when he learns that Oliver is getting married. A caring, responsible father would have opened his son’s eyes about the fact that he was used and then discarded. I have no clue as to why any queer person would want their parent to do anything like that to them, leaving their heart open to bleed.

Add to this that he does not ask whether they used protection. The movie is set in 1983, and the first AIDS wave struck in 1981. Papa Perlman doesn’t seem to mind that his son might have caught a horrible, incurable disease, all that matters is that his son had sex with another male. Yay. (Maybe he believes in the adage that true love exists only between members of the same sex, who knows.)

I guess this little speech is meant to be politically correct. Woe if you dare to see the dysfunction in a relationship when it’s same-sex.

Elephant in the room no. 4: Elio did not need Oliver.

When we meet him, Elio is well-educated, living in a beautiful place where he also grew up, he has a supportive family, enough free time (they even have servants), he’s healthy and serene and he has a girlfriend. He’s intelligent, well-learned and creative.

When we last see him, he’s devastated, staring into the fire and crying for minutes on end.

Oliver is not “only” a sexual predator. He’s a textbook manipulator, the sexual part isn’t even what it’s about. Manipulators may want money, sex, attention from their victims or a combination of these, but what they always want is power. They rejoice in the knowledge that their prey is ready to do whatever they want at their command, that they can’t live without them, at least not happily. Oliver would have taken anything Elio gave him and crushed it, not just his sexuality. Just imagine the pain Elio must feel now every time someone says his own name, or when he goes to his “special place” by the creek! He can’t compose, play the guitar or write any more, because everything reminds him of Oliver. And all of the time, Oliver had the chance to either avoid a relationship with him or to let go once he had left him; but you need some basic common decency for that.

Oliver realized quickly that Elio, though younger, is much better than he is, healthier, smarter, more accomplished, more innocent, honest and kind-hearted. Oliver took all that, used it or destroyed it and left Elio in the shards of his former self, no longer in a position to enjoy the things and the people he used to love, tortured additionally by the knowledge that Oliver is about to marry someone else, i.e. that Elio apparently wasn’t good enough for him. Elio ends like a modern Pygmalion, crying about the fact that all of his love could not bring the object of his adoration to life; hence also the parallel between Oliver and the statue.

Elephant in the room no. 5: Elio is not gay, he’s bisexual. (Maybe.)

Elio has a girlfriend when we first meet him; it is also hinted at that before Marzia, he was with Chiara. No sign of a boyfriend anywhere. No sign even of some brotherly male friend to whom he might feel unconsciously attracted.

Elio enjoyed his first sexual experience with Marzia, we hear him cry out “That feels so good!” He then starts an affair with Oliver, but nothing suggests that he likes it any better. Yes, he keeps sleeping with him, not with her; but she didn’t manipulate him for weeks into believing that without her he would be missing out, the way Oliver did.

If Oliver was a woman of 24 years who would seduce Elio, dragging him away from his girlfriend, and then dumping him to marry another guy, everybody would call her a heartless bitch. In this case, Elio’s supposed sexual awakening supersedes everything else. Which is probably the main reason why so many viewers insist that there was nothing wrong and unhealthy between them. The relationship between Elio and Oliver can’t have been sick and dysfunctional, because Elio apparently “needed to realize that he's gay (or bi).” Never mind that he was traumatized for life.

In the end, Elio is alone; Oliver has left him for good, and he can’t go back to Marzia. Had Oliver not interfered Elio might have missed out a nuance on his sexuality, but he wouldn't have had his heart broken, and he would have a girlfriend who is a sweet and kind girl, never manipulates him and even offers him friendship and comfort after he dumped her for no reason (after having taken her virginity no less).

Part 6: Elio Always Had a Choice.

Elio wasn’t forced to do anything. He sought Oliver out repeatedly and never actively said “no” to him, except for his heart-wrenching protest during the infamous peach scene. Maybe he wants Oliver to single him out being a victim of his own vanity; however, his personality is not explored enough for the viewer to come to a fair conclusion. We mostly see him react to Oliver, not act on his own.

Since the focus of the movie is on the Elio / Oliver relationship, the landscape the story takes place in is idyllic, the music is beautiful etc., as a viewer one can easily assume that Elio chose Oliver of out “love”. Did he?

Obsession is not love. When feelings for another person are so strong that there seems to be no escape, it doesn’t mean they are soulmates, that it’s fate or anything like that. Healthy love is a choice; love only exists in freedom. When one partner (or both) is in mental chains, his mind revolving around the other, something is very wrong.

I already wrote that while his character is manipulative, Oliver is not an actual predator. If the victim has the chance to escape and does not take it, there is a large part of responsibility on the latter’s part, too. It is not enough to say that Elio is “only a teenager”. At seventeen, a person knows what they are doing and what they want. They may not be aware of the implications and the consequences, but Oliver and Elio’s parents didn’t know either, so it’s useless to say that age makes the difference.

Part 7: Culture Clash.

Italy and Elio’s family welcome Oliver with open arms; they let him live in their house, let him do whatever he wants, invite him to come back next year, encourage his feelings for Elio. Oliver never opens up. He does not speak about his thoughts; he never mentions that he has a girlfriend at home. Only in the end we learn that his family seems to be very bigoted. Which is of course awful, but as a viewer I couldn’t feel sorry for him. This is something that in all fairness he should have told Elio from the start, before playing fast and loose with a young man who was obviously smitten with him.

Oliver is a consumerist, diametrically opposed to the deep soul of Elio, a young man who grew up surrounded by nature, in a house and near cities that feel timeless. Oliver tells Elio once that his family had welcomed him like he was a son-in-law, but this only shows that Oliver has no clue about Italian mentality; else he would know that it is second nature to most Italians to be welcoming and to make acquaintances part of the family quickly. That he believes they did so specifically with him only reflects his arrogance.

On a side note: in Italy the paragraph against homosexuality fell in 1890, and this movie is set almost a century later. And Oliver was introduced to an elderly gay couple who are friends of the family, emphasizing that Elio’s family doesn’t have the slightest issue with same-sex relationships. So, we are not speaking of star-crossed lovers. Had he wanted to, Oliver could have moved to Italy leaving his bigoted background behind, finding both a better family and a partner who would do anything in his power to make him happy. But that would also have meant having to give up on something, and Oliver is not the kind of person who would accept any kind of sacrifice, not even for his own sake. He will rather see to it that the price for his choices is paid by someone else.

Part 8: Attitude Towards Females.

The way both Oliver and Elio treat the women in their lives is downright awful. Oliver flirts with Chiara and in return, Elio soon brags how he “almost had sex with Marzia”. It is clear enough that they only do it when the other is watching; they do not care about the girls, both only want to show off their sex lives.

Sex has no real value for Oliver; he tells Elio that he should better “try and fail with Marzia than not try at all”. He does not consider that having your first time and be in an actual relationship is serious stuff. It ought to be something two people do together, not a challenge of sorts.

Although with Marzia it’s the first time for both of them, Elio obviously does not care for her - he did not even recognize her voice on the phone and did not react when she told him she didn’t want to suffer because of him. His next thought is that he wants Oliver, not her. He even has sex with Marzia all the while watching the clock for the appointment at midnight Oliver gave him. (What for, anyway? Distraction? As a training object?) His obsession with Oliver makes him selfish and false. And Oliver has tied his invitation to another insult, “Grow up.” Elio is seventeen and he has sex with both a female and a male within the course of 24 hours. Why - out of pique, to prove Oliver that he is indeed grown-up and that he is not ‘too scared to do it’?

Oliver does not offer Elio or his family friendship; he does not even call or write a postcard from his home to let them know that he came back home safely. Ironically, it is Marzia who offers her friendship and comforts the heartbroken Elio, although she would have every reason to resent him. She is more mature and responsible than both Elio and Oliver although she is Elio’s age. Which makes his behaviour towards her only feel more unfair; but I guess viewers must expect her to accept that because what she and Elio shared was not the alleged “true love” he had with Oliver.

A few months after Oliver went back home, we learn that he is about to hurt the next person - a woman with whom he will start a loveless marriage. (We learn that he was in an on-off relationship with her for years, which fits the picture perfectly; Oliver would not want to miss out on anything.)

Elio’s father gives a monologue that reflects his marriage in an awful way: apparently it does not make him happy because it makes him feel like he missed out on the experience of “real love” (whatever he believes that is). His wife is a good person and a good mother and does not deserve to be dismissed like that.

Conclusion: This Is Not a Love Story.

There may be different ways of interpreting it, but this movie is not about love, i.e. honest, deep feelings and commitment for one another. It isn’t romantic or poetic or tragic. It’s about a lot of pain that could have been avoided.

Oliver is not a groomer who takes advantage of a younger and less experienced guy. If Elio was a few years older, Oliver would still be a bad person. Consider that no one seems to realize what an egotist he is, including the many adults he meets! Piqued by Elio’s resistance, Oliver would certainly still try to make a pass at Elio, except that if the latter was older, he would be more mature, and possibly also have, by now, a secure attachment with Marzia (or someone else). I do think that a relationship between a 17-year-old and a 24-year-old could work well, provided both are honest and loyal persons. What makes this story problematic is not grooming or sexual predation on Oliver’s part. It is the relationship itself between these two that is utterly dysfunctional; which is, I daresay, what actually makes so many viewers feel uneasy about it the way I did.

Real love looks different; it does not only leave pain and “what if”s behind. Oliver sweeps into a foreign family and culture like a storm, takes what he can, and after him the deluge. While Elio is changed for life, Oliver just runs off to the next best thing, still not ready to change, take responsibility, or at least apologize for having used a younger man for an affair before agreeing to a socially acceptable marriage with a woman.

The musical theme of the movie is “Mystery of Love”. Why? Fantasizing about someone you never really get to know because they never open up to you is not love. How can there be love without honesty, loyalty and trust? Elio never grows beyond the first phase of a romantic relationship where you still idealize the other, instead of seeing them for how they truly are. And Oliver doesn’t even reach that phase.

We are supposed to feel for Oliver and Elio them because they are “star crossed”; I can’t bring myself to do that. Oliver is too immature to be honest with Elio and to keep him at arm’s length to prevent him from hurt; while Elio is not grown and strong enough to stand up first for his own self-love, and then for his feelings for Oliver. He does not even confront him when he tells him he is about to get married (which also implies that he will not come back). Not for one moment seems Elio to realize that he was betrayed, used and dumped. Instead, he keeps believing that he missed out on something that could have been wonderful.

If you are in a problematic relationship, there are only two options: either you renounce because you don’t want to make the other unhappy, or you fight for your love. Nurturing false hopes, allowing love to make its way into the heart of a naïve, well-meaning young person and then let him fall like a hot potato is the last thing anyone ought to do. Oliver doesn’t trust anyone, while Elio’s trust in him, after his initial hesitation, is infinite.

When Oliver tells Elio on the phone that he forgot nothing, it only makes Elio suffer more. A mature, caring person could have told his former lover to get over him, and that he was grateful for the time passed together. There is not gratitude in Oliver’s words; he ties Elio to him again, knowing that the younger man would be his at the lift of a finger. During the phone call, he does not even have the politeness to ask how everybody is doing. As usual, it is all about him. Oliver may be the victim of his family’s bigotry, but I cannot bring myself to feel with someone who is so utterly selfish and irresponsible. At least now that it's clear that he’s not coming back, he should have the decency to let go.

It is certainly true - as Elio’s father said - that it’s better to accept one’s pain than to turn away from it. But: the easiest way to unhappiness is holding on to something (or someone) you can’t have, respectively that never existed in the first place. Elio never gets over his feelings and they make him suffer still decades later, proving that the brief happiness was not worth the pain. What Elio feels at the end is not the normal heartache everybody goes through after a break-up: he’s traumatized because his budding personality was crushed and he has nothing to hold on to or to look forward anymore.

I wonder why this movie is called a love story. There is mutual attraction, fascination, erotic tension, but all of this doesn’t add to love. I see no reason why anyone should love someone like Oliver, and I can’t understand why Oliver does not love Elio back, who shared everything he was with him.

This movie may be interesting, but in my opinion it’s not romantic at all and I see no reason to sigh and wax poetic about it like 95 % of the audience seems to. If anything, it’s a warning to not confuse obsession and idealization with actual caring.

I wonder why the LGBT+ community does not hate this movie.

I have often heard in conservative circles that gay men are supposedly straight until they meet someone who is older and experienced who seduces them and “makes them gay”. I always found this to be a narrow-minded prejudice, and thought that any queer person must find such an idea insulting to say the least. But this is exactly what is being portrayed here. And almost no viewer, queer or straight, seems to have the slightest problem with it. On the contrary, almost everybody gushes on how romantic this story is.

~ * ~ * ~ *

Red, White and Royal Blue (2023)

Of course, this is a modern fairy tale and it’s set in an alternative universe. Let me just point out the differences to the above-mentioned movie, and why this is a much more genuine portrayal of romantic love.

Since the story is about the son of a female US president who is running for her second term and the offspring of a conservative British peerage family, the conflict goes without saying; there is no wondering about what is making their relationship difficult.

Alex, once in a same-sex relationship, embraces his bisexuality wholeheartedly. He does not fall into a crisis and does not mess around with some girl. He knows that Henry is who he wants. It is abundantly clear that Henry is special for him because with him he’s head over heels in love, not because he’s the first guy he makes sexual experiences with.

In this movie there is also a cultural clash between a Texan American and a British peer, but there is nothing offensive about it; usually it’s just played for fun, like when Alex doesn’t know what a maypole is and Henry teases him about it.

How much wiser and more to the point is Ellen’s reaction: she simply tells her son that “such a relationship will define his life”. Yes, it’s kind of embarrassing that she asks him whether they used protection, but at least it shows that she cares for his safety.

Side note: all women in this movie are treated with respect, not looked down upon, used and discarded.

Alex does not make Henry feel bad about his accomplishments. He admires him playing polo, he loves listening to him when he plays the piano, although Alex can do neither.

When Henry comes to visit Alex in Texas, he adapts by wearing casual clothing, drinking, singing, playing, swimming. He’s just himself and there is nothing of his usual detachment about him, on the contrary, he obviously feels happy with the chance to just be a young man like any other. Compare this to Oliver’s attitude of haughty superiority in his host’s place, behaving like he was a prince everyone must look up to (which he isn’t, contrarily to Henry).

These men are both adults who know what they are doing; none shows off as being superior and they never come across as selfish and mean. Initially Henry is detached and stiff-necked, while Alex pettily takes offense at something that happened years earlier; but all of that quickly changes through the dynamics between them. The two young men open up, become more relaxed and much more themselves through being together. Since they started as rivals, they know each other’s faults and never for a moment fall into the trap of idealization. Their connection is much more genuine and intimate than Oliver’s and Elio’s although technically, they spend less time together.

Their relationship is also much more fun; Alex and Henry banter, tease one another and laugh a lot. Being in a long-distance relationship they write each other e-mails and texts, and they have conversations over the phone still when they’re barely friends. They talk about personal issues, they keep eye contact, their hands touch, they hug outside of sexual contact, they sleep in the same bed whenever they can. The power dynamics between them are healthy, and it is made abundantly clear that the basis for their relationship is honest, trusting friendship.

Shortly after having started an actual relationship with Henry, Alex plunges into his Texas campaign; he wants to use his influence as the president’s son to do good for other people. Henry’s philanthropic work and his overall influence inspire Alex to do more for his fellowmen, too.

When Henry panics and runs in the face of a declaration of love, Alex confronts him right away. Alex is willing to fight for his love. He „flies across an ocean and storms a f…ing palace“, in his words, to tell Henry he won’t give up on him.

As they say goodbye at the airport both gift one another what means most to them - ring and key. Alex until then never took his key chain off, not even when he was swimming or having sex. Alex’s last virtue is patience, yet he is willing to wait.

In the end the shy, introverted Henry says, “I will no longer be the prince of shame and secrets” finally confronting his worst fear, that his subjects may no longer like him.

Which is where we reach the bottom line.

„Real love“ is not defined by how deep, desperate and or romantic your feelings are.

Real love makes you a better, stronger and more mature person.

Red, White and Royal Blue is an actual, real and inspiring love story. Call Me by Your Name is a slap in the face.

#movie essay #rwrb #call me by your name #film analysis #relationships #same-sex #luca guadagnino #james ivory #thimothee chalamet #armie hammer #matthew lopez #casey mcquiston #taylor zakhar perez #nicholas galitzine #movie review #movie comparison #manipulation #narcissisim #dysfunctional relationship #cmbyn #psychology #romantic love #mental health #andré aciman #toxic relationship #romcom #red white and royal blue #emotional abuse #gay romance #firstprince

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

look, i'm not saying that the show missed the perfect opportunity to make "my brother's keeper" and "doctor's disorders" a psychological suspense and a psychological horror, respectfully, but. i'm also NOT not saying that.

#look spectra just lends herself perfectly to a psychological suspense/horror/thriller genre okay #she knows how to blend into the background until you don't even know that she's here #her words and intentions are so perfectly disguised that you won't notice the wounds they inflict until you already bleeding out #she's sweet and courteous and accomodating and nice #so why would you even suspect her #just. the way she manipulates her words and environment and even people's perceptions of her/themselves is so scary #wish there was more of her tbh #i could write a 1k+ word essay about her and not run out of things to say #literally want to study her under a microscope like a bug #spectra #danny phantom

[salamie-baby]

Wolfwalkers and The Otherkin Experience Of Growing Up Autistic

0. Introduction

Next / Masterpost (links will be added in future!)

(text reads: "That DAWG in you" "New Game" "Load Game" "Options" "Quit")

In the autumn of 2023 I opened my phone and entered youtube to peruse my feed for Content(TM) when I stumbled upon another video from Patricia Taxxon, a creator I previously knew from CJ The X's references to her video essay on Don't Hug Me I'm Scared. "On The Ethics Of Boinking Animal People" is such an outrageous and bizarre title that the only course of action was, naturally, to watch it.

I have not known peace since.

The video is a callout pointing directly into my soul and the casket within it that holds my childhood, and I've watched it about thirty times.

We'll put a pin in the video itself, but what you need to know right now is that two of the three primary topics of discussion are these things: being a dog, and being autistic.

(Text reads: "options" "furry porn lmao [CENSORED]" "That's like me!!" "Skip cutscene")

If you're someone who knows my page then you've probably already deduced the information I'm about to provide, but if you're new, Hi! I'm Sal, I'm the blue hair pronouns queer autistic dogboy that your parents warned you about.

This is the opening to a several part essay I'm going to be writing over the course of the next few weeks, wherein I'm going to talk about autism, Wolfwalkers, my therianthropic re-awakening and my feelings on the experience so far. I'll warn you now, there's a lot of media analysis in the coming chapters so strap in, because this is going to be a long series of text posts.

Next / Masterpost (links will be added in future!)

#Local Dog writes an essay #Illustrations by me #Alterhuman #Otherkin #Therian #therian community #Therianthropy #Theriotype #Alterhumanity #otherkin community #Otherkith #nonhuman #Psychological therian #Dogkin #Wolfkin #canine therian #caninekin

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

You’re a psychology professor, right? Do you mind if I ask what exactly your research expertise/discipline is? Whatever it is always seems so fascinating to me whenever bits of it come up here. At the risk of doxxing yourself, would you be willing to talk about your research?

So if you don't mind, I'm going to answer this a little to the left of the ask. Less because I'm worried about Tumblrers doxxing, more because I'm terrified of my students or coworkers stumbling upon this blog.

My top six essays and articles that explain what I research, none of which are authored by me:

Empathy or Division? On the Science and Politics of Storytelling by Claire Corbett opens up with the lines "Writers can’t always be trusted when they talk about the power and importance of story. We have a vested interest and can get sentimental, promoting the immense power of story, of narrative, as inherently benign" — and it only gets better from there. Storytelling is a tool, one that can harm as much as help; anyone who says differently is selling something.

The Enshittification of TikTok by Cory Doctorow (yes, that Cory Doctorow) does an excellent job of explaining how the forces of individual psychology interacting with the forces of economics and society lead to the enshittification (exactly what it sounds like) of mass resources like social media platforms.

Superhero Comics as Moral Pornography by David Pizarro and Roy Baumeister. Although undeniably negative toward aspects of Western superhero stories, this essay also has a pretty forgiving definition of pornography. Like Corbett's, it takes a refreshingly cynical view of the power of storytelling.

The Mythology of Karen by Helen Lewis explains how a meme (in the sense of a sticky, culturally specific idea) can be sexist and antiracist, empowering and ageist, and trying to force it into molds of "good" or "bad" will never work.

What Do We Know When We Know a Person? by Dan McAdams. I've seen this article on many lists of best-written psychological theory reviews, and I fully agree. The science has come a long way since 1995, but this remains one of the best introductions to the psychology of personal narrative.

The Folk Psychology of Souls by Jesse Bering. "When it comes to death, human cognition apparently is not well equipped to update the list of players in our complex social rosters by accommodating the recent nonexistence of any one of them." It's a little outside my main research area, but I built an entire special-topics class around this one article because it's one of the truest I've ever read.

#psychology #narrative #essay #articles #nothing to do with animorphs #social psychology #narrative persuasion #misinformation #media psychology #everyone wants to hear stories are magic #for the same reasons we all want to hear that chocolate is nutritious #i'm the fun police of the social science world

[ckret2]

This isn't really an ask but I just wanted to say that one of the reasons I enjoy your writing so much is how you break everything down in a phsych-ie way. (Sorry that made no sense) but like you break down everyone's thought process so well and intricately, you have a reason why anyone did anything and it all makes sense ( if that makes any sense) but yeah keep doing what your doing and thank you for writing this amazing story

Thank you!!! Digging deep deep deep into how the characters think is so fun for me, I wanna know what makes them tick.

I took a billion psychology and sociology courses in high school & college (and courses on a bunch of other topics I thought would explain how people function—social anthropology, religion, philosophy), and I still read psychology books For Fun & For Writing Research, so like, this is a whole topic of fascination for me. Everything everyone does is influenced by a dozen factors ranging from life lessons they unconsciously absorbed when they were five to whether or not they've had breakfast yet. It's probably not a stretch to say that for every single line of dialogue I run through a mental process of "how does who they are impact what they're feeling, what they're thinking, how they speak?"

On any given line I could probably give you three paragraphs about what's going on underneath the surface. I love when people highlight random lines they like because it gives me an excuse to go "oh yeah all this is going on in there—"

#(this is an invitation for people to highlight random lines you like. I need an external excuse to ramble about my thought processes lmao) #(I mean the best essay I've written on Bill's psychology so far came out of somebody commenting on the 'magic isn't real' line) #ask #about my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

[gunthermunch]

here, hold this

#so basically your mother is the first person you interact with quite literally #if it goes wrong with her it is quite possible that the rest of your relationships and the way you interact with the world will be messed u #p. think of shinji from nge and his mom dying when he was young and then his parent abandoning him #yes i did an essay on evangelion for my psychology class and so its the quickest example i can get for you #and well. vlad. who went through something similar but his mom didnt just die. he got rid of her in an act of demonish nature #dl #*his dad #aha! #wish i could just link my essay but its in spanish

[spaciebabie]

i wanna study springtrap under a microscope. what he thinkin abt. what makes him tick. what excites him. how can i piss him off. how can i make him feel fear. what does he dream abt. what are his nightmares like and how can i subject him ta them over and over again.

#YOU KNOW??? #spacie spoinks #this is what I thought of when I woke up this morning and it's my thoughts as I go 2 sleep #blorbo in my brain #I want 2 psychologically torture him but lovingly yk #i love springtrap so much gah!! #wish there was more than 2 thoughts in my head abt him at a time #if I could I would write essays Abt him #alas. I shan't have that capability #my autism would be too powerful....