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#Okay yeah the chapter count did up by 4 chapters
scoonsalicious · 2 days
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Unwanted: Chapter 29, Unarmed, Redux - Pt. 4
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,
Word Count: 741
Previously On...: Steve made some confessions.
A/N: Finally, resolutions!
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43
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You sat there, staring off into space for several moments. You couldn’t believe that had just happened. Was there no end to the number of times a super soldier would betray you?
Bucky cleared his throat after a few silent minutes. “I’ll… I’ll leave you alone now, doll,” he said. “‘M sure I’m one of the last people you want to see right now.”
He made to leave, but you called him back. “Buck, no,” you said. He turned around and looked at you quixotically. “Stay. We’re not done.”
He swallowed, then nodded, coming back to sit in the armchair next to your bed. “Yeah, okay,” he said. 
“Did you mean what you said,” you asked, looking up at him. “Back in Atlantic City? When you said you were self-sabotaging?”
Bucky narrowed his eyes at you in confusion, as if that was the last topic of conversation he expected you to bring up right now. “When, uh… when you broke things off, for good, after Russia, I started seeing Raynor a lot more frequently. Like, two hours a day, every day,” he offered. “I needed to understand why I kept ruining things, especially when you make me so damned happy. It didn’t make sense to me.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, didn’t make much sense to me, either,” you told him with a smirk, but he didn’t catch it.
“She told me, and I’m paraphrasin’ here, that, despite all the progress I’ve made, I still haven’t forgiven myself for the things I’ve done as the Winter Soldier,” he said, fidgeting with his metal fingers. “And, because I haven’t forgiven myself, I can’t see myself as being worth being loved, being happy. So, I did things, behaved in ways that proved I shouldn’t be. Like a, uh… ‘self-fulfilling prophecy,’ she said.
“She said that I created a loop, a cycle, where I kept makin’ fucked up decisions because I kept expectin’ to fuck up,” he continued. “Like, of course I hurt you, because I was scared of hurting you, if that makes sense? She said Carthage was like a mirror. When I sought validation from her, I was really seeking it from myself. I don’t necessarily know if I buy that,” he chuckled humorously. “Feels like it lets me off the hook too easily, but the doc seems to think it makes sense.”
You nodded, considering his words. “I thought you said she was a shitty quack,” you said after a moment. Bucky looked at you questioningly. “I did.”
“Sounds to me like you owe her a ‘thank you,’” you said, smiling at him. “What did she tell you to do about it?”
Bucky shrugged. “She called me a fucking dumbass, to start. Told me real love isn’t about whether or not you think you’re worthy of someone; it’s about working to be worthy of someone, to keep striving to be the best version of yourself for them. She said I needed to learn how to be honest, with you, and myself, to let you know when I’m struggling, to open up so we can help each other carry our burdens, and not hide mine away because I’m afraid.”
“She sounds a lot smarter than you’ve ever given her credit for,” you teased gently.
Bucky snorted. “Never let her hear you say that,” he said. “I won’t hear the end of it.”
“Can I ask you a question?” he said, after a moment of silence. You nodded. “Did you mean what you said, in front of Carthage, that you wished we could start fresh? Build something new? Something better?”
You nodded again. “With my whole heart,” you told him. 
Bucky seemed to take a moment to contemplate your words before he stuck out his hand. “‘M Bucky,” he said.
You scoffed playfully. “What the hell kind of name is ‘Bucky’?” you asked with a grin.
“I dunno,” he said with an answering grin of his own. “What the hell kind of name is Pocket?”
You grabbed his outstretched hand and pulled him to you, slotting your mouth over his and feeling his smile against your lips. “POCKET!” you heard Tony shout from behind the closed door. “He’s been in there long enough! The people demand to know! What the ‘F’ Is It?”
You and Bucky broke apart from your kiss, foreheads pressed together as you both laughed. Yeah, you thought with a smile, the two of you were going to be okay.
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jeewrites · 2 days
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Hold Fast | Ch. 5 - Five Courses
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Series Master List
Rating: M, but this blog is 18+ MDNI
A/N: Frankie and Sweets finally go on their date! I do not recommend reading this when you are hungry. Ty to @bloviating-vy for beta-ing and providing all the emotional support one needs for writing fanfic lol.
Word Count: ~5.6K
Tags: no y/n, alcohol, gymbff!Benny, OC!Chloé, reader is a powerlifting girlie described as short and has hair long enough to put into a ponytail, reader's nickname is Sweets, Tom is alive unfortunately (we hate Tom), Tom owns a bar, Pope owns a gym, Frankie POV, kissing, making out, gratuitous descriptions of food, Sweets eats like a powerlifter, angst that resolves by the end of the chapter, discussion of previous relationships, implied past abusive relationship (not described), cliffhanger-ish?
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After you leave on Sunday, Frankie spends the rest of the weekend scouring the internet for the latest, fanciest restaurants in the greater metropolitan area. He's determined to make up for canceling on you at the last minute and go all out for you after everything you've done to care for Gabi and him. Tucking into another bowl of your magical chicken noodle soup, Frankie sighs at his laptop after clicking through tasting menu after 7 course menu after kaiseki menu after some weird pop-up dinner theater. Yeah, no. This isn't it.
And a small part, ok large part of him, wants to impress you, but he's at a loss as to how since he doesn't know you well enough. Surely as a doctor you are used to living the good life, dining at fancy places, right? What would not just be good enough for you, but impress you? His phone buzzes with a text from Benny in the group chat about a new PR lift and that's when an idea pops into Frankie's head. After a brief exchange with Benny he shuts his laptop and readies for bed. He has a plan.
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Just as you are sitting down to scarf down your lunch later that week, your phone vibrates with a text from your favorite brown-eyed pilot.
[text conversation]
😻🐟: Hey, so what kind of food do you like? 🏋🏻‍♀️: Yes 😻🐟: ???
🏋🏻‍♀️: I have to eat so much to fuel for 🏋️‍♀️, so yeah, I like food. 🏋🏻‍♀️: 🍜🍳🥩🍔🌮🥟🍣🎂🍩🍪🍮🧁🥐🫔🍧 🏋🏻‍♀️: I don't do sandwiches though 😻🐟: Roger that 🫡
😻🐟: Be ready to eat okay? Might want to wear something stretchy. Prepare yourself. 😉 🏋🏻‍♀️: 🫡 say no more. I have the perfect outfit. 😈 😻🐟: Pick you up Saturday at 4:30? I know it's early, but trust me ok? 🏋🏻‍♀️: 💃🏻💃🏻
You spend the rest of your break smiling into your lunch wondering what Frankie has planned for Saturday. The weekend couldn't come soon enough.
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On Saturday, at 4:25 PM you hear a soft knock at your front door. Swinging the door open you're greeted by an enormous arrangement of dahlias, a stunning ombre of purple, pink, and fuchsia hues, a grinning Frankie peeking from over the top.
"For you," he says with a winning smile as he hands you the arrangement.
You're speechless. You didn't think he'd remember you whispering to him, nearly three weeks ago, what your favorite flowers are. And how did he know these are your favorite colors? Chase never remembered your favorite flowers despite the years you were together. He probably gave you flowers less than five times in the entirety of your relationship.
"You remembered," you breathe, looking up at him. "Frankie, they're beautiful."
"I do my best to remember the important things," Frankie huffs, cheeks pinking at your compliment. You catch him flick his eyes over your form, biting his lower lip. "And you're prettier than the flowers. You look — wow."
It's your turn for your cheeks to heat before you invite him in for a moment while you find the best spot to place the arrangement (you decide on your dining table so you can look at it every morning while you drink your coffee). The dahlias are arranged like a piece of art, exploding with color against the drab colors of your apartment. You could look at them all day.
"Sooo, where are we going this early?" you venture, finally taking your eyes off of the flowers and running your eyes over Frankie, admiring the way the navy button down shirt stretches deliciously across his broad chest and the khakis he's wearing hugs his hips and thighs. Curls accentuated with product. And surprisingly no hat.
"I'll tell you when we get in the truck," Frankie grins at you.
"Okay, Mr. Mysterious," you huff with a small smile as you grab your bag.
When you get to his truck he insists on opening the door for you and offering a hand as you climb in. As he settles into the driver's seat and starts the truck, he hands you a beige piece of folded card stock, printed to look like a menu. The cover reads, "Frankie's Food Truck Tour" in elegant script across the front.
You gape at him, excitement bubbling up your entire body. "You're taking me on a food truck tour?!?"
"Yup," Frankie responds, popping the 'p.' "Someone might’ve mentioned you love food trucks and hole in the wall restaurants. So I'm taking you to all the best ones I know about."
You're practically vibrating with anticipation as you open the card and gasp at the listed courses on the food tour.
Frankie's Food Truck Tour
Menu
First Course - Taco de Carnitas 🌮 Heirloom blue corn tortilla from house made masa, slow braised pork shoulder, pickled shallots, chicharrons
Second Course - Empanada Colombiana Braised beef, potato in fried corn flour crust
Third Course - Sunday Sauce with Fresh Tagliatelle 12 hour simmered ragu with fresh made tagliatelle
Fourth Course - Soup Dumplings ground pork, blue crab
Fifth Course - Gua Bao braised pork belly, pickled mustard greens, toasted crushed peanuts in steamed bun
Dessert - Italian Water Ice
You are so very glad you wore your fancy stretchy clothes because this is a veritable feast of all of your favorite things. You weren't joking when you told Frankie you liked to eat. Plus today's SBD day was max effort sets, so you are ready to inhale some food. But you are also so moved by his thoughtfulness, planning such a creative first date. Who told him about your love of food trucks and hole in the wall spots?
As Frankie eases onto the main road, he swallows before asking, "Does it look okay?"
"Okay? This is amazing Frankie! It's so thoughtful." You look at him with watery eyes. "No one's done something like this for me in a long time." You might have let out a little sniffle because he's glancing at you with concern etched across his handsome face.
"Hey," he soothes, sliding a hand into yours. "It's my pleasure."
He presses a chaste kiss to the back of your hand. The gesture makes you melt inside at the sweetness. You intertwine your fingers in his, wanting to stay connected to him and you catch him smile when you do.
"Wait, so who told you I like food trucks?" you ask, curiosity getting the better of you.
"Oh uh, I — I asked Chloé," Frankie's ears reddened at his admission. "I checked with Benny to see when she usually works out at Pope's and, uh, talked to her earlier this week."
You hum in response, impressed that Frankie would voluntarily approach Chloé considering most regulars at Pope's Gym wouldn't dare. She intimidated everyone too much.
"It was weird though. Benny acted like he didn't want me to talk to her until I told him it was to plan my date with you." Frankie continues, tapping the steering wheel.
"Huh," you wonder, filing that bit of information away. "Wonder why."
Frankie shrugs as he pulls the truck into a gravel parking lot. A half circle of food trucks sit just in front of a copse of trees, surrounded by picnic tables. Several other cars pull up shortly after you arrive and a queue starts to form at one of the food trucks on the far end.
"Ready for the first course?" Frankie grins at you as he opens the passenger door.
"Born ready, Frankie," you grin at him with barely contained glee.
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By the third course, you and Frankie are both completely relaxed and enjoying each other's company, allowing the conversation to ebb and flow between food truck courses.
The carnitas tacos whet your appetite, a perfect balance of succulent pork shoulder topped with crispy chicharrones. Pickled shallots cut the tender, savory bites with crisp acid that dance along your tongue. Charred tomatillo salsa rounds out the bite. All perfectly wrapped in a freshly griddled blue corn tortilla. You can't help but close your eyes and let out a small moan as you experience the first bite. A cacophony of well-balanced flavors and complementary textures. When you open them again you catch Frankie with a pleased look on his face as he takes a bite out of his own taco.
At the second stop, Frankie asks why you don't do sandwiches as you chomp into a piping hot empanada. The corn flour crust crunches with satisfaction giving way to the tender braised beef and fluffy potato filling. Steam curls from the opening of the empanada, a testament to how freshly made it is.
"I mean, why would I want something slapped between two slices of bread when I can have this?" you respond as you gesture to your half eaten empanada. "It's just as portable and tastes a billion times better."
You scoop some of the red salsa onto your empanada before continuing, "Besides, I had way more than my fair share of sandwiches and cold, sad meals during med school and residency. I want my meals to be hot as much as possible."
"But what about hot sandwiches?" Frankie presses, even though he nods in agreement.
"I'll make an exception for them if they are really tasty," you acquiesce. "And bánh mì, especially if the baguette is baked fresh in house."
"Duly noted," Frankie smiles, taking mental note of your preferences.
"Oh my god, you have to try this salsa," you moan after you finish your salsa covered bite of empanada. The acid from the tomato cuts through the richness of the filling, followed by sharp bites from the minced white onion, finished by a hint of sweetness — maybe from pineapple?
"Wait, don't tell me you're a fan of sandwiches."
Frankie looks slightly embarrassed when he admits he eats most of his meals standing over the kitchen sink, especially when he has Gabi, but the food is usually at least hot. "I do love cooking meals for Gabi and introducing her to all of our family's foods," he adds. "She's a really adventurous eater."
You perk up at his information. "Yeah? That's so awesome Frankie. Maybe I can make her some of my family's favorites sometime?"
He gives you the sweetest look of adoration and gratitude. "She'd love that. I — I would too."
You continue to chat with Frankie about how Gabi is doing since you last saw her as he tidies up the picnic table, and you both head to his truck for the next course.
When Frankie pulls up at the third food truck, you giggle and remark at the kitschy decor, multi-color string lights, barrels painted the colors of the Italian flag, red umbrellas shading long wooden picnic tables and smaller red metal patio tables for two. The food truck itself is a long white truck reminiscent of an old milk delivery truck. Short velvet red curtains frame the ordering window with a mismatched gallery wall of photos and paintings hanging along the side.
As you and Frankie sit at a cute red patio table sharing a sangria, waiting for the buzzer to go off to retrieve your food, you hear a woman's voice call out, "Morales?! That you?"
"Hey— " Frankie stands to greet the person behind the voice before a blur of brown hair wraps him in a tight bear hug he returns awkwardly with one arm.
"Finally made it out to check out this place huh??" the brunette says as she pulls back and releases Frankie.
"Yeah, uh, thanks for the rec. This is Sweets," Frankie gestures towards you as you stand to meet her. "This is Becs. She's one of the flight nurses I work with."
"Ooh, date night?" Becs winks at Frankie as she pumps your hand up and down one too many times. "Didn't realize you were seeing anyone Morales. Gonna break all those hearts at the hospital when people find out." You offer her a wan smile, a bit overwhelmed by her chaotic energy.
"Wait! I know you," Becs cocks her head as she assesses you intently. You stiffen even if you don't recognize her. Before you know it she's dropping the name of your former employer, adding, "Yeah, I used to work as an OR nurse there, but jumped at the chance to become a flight nurse. Less surgeon egos, more excitement, ya know?" She gesticulates with fervor as she speaks.
"Yeah, uh, I worked there," you admit, realizing you've been holding your breath. "Been over a year since I left though."
She looks you over once more. Just when you think you're in the clear she snaps her fingers and exclaims, "I do know you! You were engaged to that new trauma surgeon, what's his name!"
Your heart is in your throat and you can't move. Can't breathe. Is this really happening right now? What are the chances you'd run into someone who'd recognize you from your old job right the fuck now?
"I'll never forget how you made a surgeon get on his knees so fast," she smirks. "It's not every day you see someone throw a $50k diamond ring across the cafeteria."
Really, what are the chances you'd run into someone who witnessed the moment your engagement exploded spectacularly in front of what felt like everyone at work? Over a year ago? You can't look at Frankie. This isn't how you want him to find out. Not that you were exactly hiding it from him, but wasn't this like a third date kind of conversation? What did you know, you're so out of the loop on dating things these days. Because you're old. Broken? No one's going to want you, your mother's voice hisses up from the abyss of your mind.
"Well, it's not every day you catch your fiancé cheating on you, at work," you grit out as you find your spine.
"Yeah, bummer about that." Becs waves you off. "It was hilarious watching him crawl around on his knees trying to find that ring though."
She slaps Frankie on the shoulder and says something about seeing him at work before tossing you a nice to meet you and jets off as abruptly as she appeared.
You brave a glance at Frankie, but not really seeing him with the adrenaline flooding your system. "I —"
"Sweets —"
Of course the food buzzer decides this is the most opportune moment to go off, shocking you back into yourself as it dances erratically on the metal table top flashing red like a siren. Frankie slides a hand over the buzzer and picks it up as he walks around the table to stand in front of you. With his other hand he gently cups the side of your face.
"Sweets, you don't have to explain. It's ok. Breathe."
You swallow and let out a stuttery breath as you clasp a hand over his. His hand is warm and comforting against your skin, steady unlike your heart pounding through your chest. The buzzer continues to flash red and vibrate, muted now in his other hand. When you look up, his warm brown eyes only convey care and concern at your thinly veiled panic. Full blown panic, really. You're practically shaking.
"Hey," his voice is soft like when he speaks to Gabi. "It's okay. I'm going to go grab our food and when I get back you can tell me as much or as little as you want. Whenever you're ready. Or we can just go back to talking about how much we hate sandwiches, okay?"
"I— you— okay," is all you can manage, followed by a small nod, eyes still wide with panic, even with his attempt at humor. Coherent sentences are back to being a struggle apparently.
"We all have baggage, Sweets. I mean, I have a whole ex-wife and toddler, remember?" He gives you one more understanding smile before telling you not to go anywhere as he heads to the food truck to collect your food.
How are you supposed to eat anything right now? Your heart is in your throat and your stomach is in knots. You plop down in your chair as the adrenaline recedes, replaced by a wave of dread at what to possibly say to Frankie when he returns. At some point you did plan to tell him, but what happened spans several conversations, none appropriate for a first date. You try to ground yourself in what he said before he went to retrieve the food. It's okay. He has baggage too. He's okay with you telling him what you’re ready to tell him. What the fuck are you ready to tell him?
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When Frankie arrives at Pope's Gym to catch Chloé and ask for her help in dinner ideas for his date with you, he isn't prepared for Benny acting so cagey and weird.
"Hey, Benny," Frankie greets Benny at the front desk with a familiar dap of the fist.
"Fish," a rare one word response from Benny, the more loquacious of the two Miller brothers.
"She here?"
"Sweets or Chloé?" Benny asks, feigning ignorance even though Frankie literally just texted him the day before asking when Chloé usually worked out at Pope's.
"For God's sake Ben, I'm looking for Chloé." Frankie glares at Benny before rolling his eyes. "To help me plan my date with Sweets. What's gotten into you?"
"Oh. Right, yeah she's here," Benny mumbles nodding in Chloé's general direction before sulking away.
As Frankie treks over, he notes the message on her cut off shirt declaring, "I'M A RAY OF FUCKING SUNSHINE." Chloé's covered in a sheen of sweat and breathing hard as she finishes a set of medicine ball slams.
"I'm pretending this is your head," she mutters at Frankie as he approaches. "For canceling on Sweets the day of without telling her why."
Frankie decides to stop a generous distance away from Chloé. He lifts his cap and runs his fingers through his curls, a nervous tic, before replacing the cap on his head. "Yeah, um, that really was my bad. Uh, that's — that's actually why I'm here."
He swears the glare Chloé gives him could kill.
"And why should I help you." It's not a question, but a challenge.
"I want to really impress her and go all out for her this Saturday to make-up for canceling," he continues before pausing. "Especially since she took such good care of my daughter and me when Gabi got sick last week. Which is — which is why I canceled at the last minute."
Chloé gives him a non-committal grunt, brows still furrowed, but her eyes motion for him to continue.
"I thought about taking her to some of those fancy tasting menu places, but I realize I don't know what she really likes… If she'd be into that."
"I mean, who doesn't like a fancy meal once in a while?" Chloé scoffs and shifts her weight from side to side, as if she's trying to decide whether to divulge more and help Frankie out. "But Sweets isn't into the fancy shit the way she is into food trucks and hole in the wall spots. The woman is always on the hunt for the best tacos or dumplings or whatever in the area."
Frankie nods along intently to what Chloé shares and takes detailed mental notes. You truly are a woman after his own heart.
"You should see her on vacation trying to suss out the best local eats. You always know you're going to eat well with her." Chloé glares back at Frankie before concluding with a threat for good measure. "You hurt her and I'll kill you. She's — she's been through enough. She doesn't need another guy wrecking her life."
Frankie appreciates a direct woman. And the tip about some guy wrecking your life. He stores that one away along with the threat.
"I just want to go all out for her. She deserves the best," he manages. "Gonna try my hardest not to fuck it up."
"Good," Chloé resumes picking up the medicine ball and raising it overhead before slamming it down on the ground. How does someone make everything sound like a threat?
"That still my head?" Frankie ventures looking at the medicine ball.
"Depends," Chloé huffs back at him, but he thinks he catches her smirking at him for a moment. "On how well you take care of my friend."
As Frankie thanks Chloé and turns to leave, he catches Benny hiding behind the cable tower machine watching the entire interaction, pretending to wipe down the gym equipment. Benny never cleans a goddamn thing unless it is a weapon.
"You're gonna take the paint off the metal," Frankie whispers to Benny as he walks by.
"Huh?"
Frankie shoves Benny out from behind the cable tower, "See you later, Benny boy. Good luck with that," as he motions with his eyes towards Chloé.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Benny calls back after catching himself from falling on his face in front of Chloé.
Frankie just shakes his head and beelines it to his truck. He has a food truck tour to plan.
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When Frankie returns with a giant pile of fresh tagliatelle smothered in Sunday sauce, your stomach turns even if ragu is one of your favorite things. He sets everything down gently as if he is afraid to spook you with any sudden movements or sounds.
"I — I wasn't trying to hide my ex-fiancé from you," you blurt out without thinking. Smooth start there, tiger. Real smooth. You worry your hands in your lap to hold back the rising waves of anxiety. "I just thought failed engagements are more like a third date kinda conversation."
"Didn't think ya were," Frankie responds as he settles back into his chair. He slides a large hand across the table beckoning for you to place one of your hands in his. After a beat you slide a hand into his. It's warm and grounding. You find your shoulders relaxing away from your ears a smidge, and your stomach settles.
"I meant it when I said you don't have to tell me anymore than you're ready to," he reassures before something you said clicks, and he beams at you. "You'd go on a third date with me?"
You can't help but offer a small grin back, "I'd let you take me on as many dates as you want if they're anything like this, Frankie."
"Minus the co-worker with the big mouth." Frankie is full of jokes. "Too soon?"
You suppress a giggle bubbling up from your throat. "I guess that means you're not going to take me home after this?"
"Not unless you want me to, Sweets," Frankie squeezes your hand. "I'm having the best time."
Your stomach rumbles at this exact moment in response and Frankie laughs, tummy shaking laughter, wondering out loud how you are still hungry after tacos and empanadas.
"I told you I like to eat!" You cross your arms in mock indignation as Frankie wipes away tears of laughter and hands you a fork.
As you both dig into the pile of pasta, marveling at the depth of flavor a 12 hour simmer gives the ragu, you take the opportunity to ask Frankie about his work as an EMS pilot. His entire body is buoyant with excitement when he talks about flying, brown eyes bright with passion. You can tell the two loves of his life are Gabi and flying by the way he speaks about both.
"The hours aren't terrible, 12 hour shifts, 4 days on and 3 days off, with a lot of waiting around. But at least I'm not getting shot at now when I fly," Frankie shares, adding how his parents help watch Gabi when he has custody and has to work. Your breath hitches at the thought of anyone shooting at sweet Frankie.
"Next stop?" he tries to change the subject when he catches your worried expression.
You nod and attempt to help clear the table, but Frankie insists you don't lift a finger.
The next two stops fly by as Frankie tells you about the owners of the soup dumpling take-out window, former cooks at some Taiwanese chain making its way into the U.S.
"Ooo yes, DTF! I've been to one of their locations before!" you exclaim.
His eyebrows curve upward in confusion, "Wait, I thought DTF meant... something else??"
"Ohmygosh, DTF — Din Tai Fung!" you cackle. "Their soup dumplings are to die for."
Frankie admits he hasn't ever eaten a soup dumpling before as you lift the lid and a cloud of savory steam erupts from the bamboo steamer basket. You offer him two options that won't involve near boiling broth burning his mouth off. After all, you have... plans for that mouth.
"Next time we have to try the pork and shrimp ones too," Frankie tells you as he opens the passenger door for you. Seeing his eyes light up after the first bite and slurp of soup dumpling, you know he is a convert for life.
At the last stop he slides an arm around your shoulders as you sit side by side on a park bench splitting one extra-large gua bao, too full to each have your own. It’s the size of your face instead of the standard appetizer size. Frankie insists you take the first bite of the pillowy soft steamed bun, a vehicle for the unctuous braised pork belly, pickled mustard greens, and toasted crushed peanuts. The umami of spiced soy sauce carries forward balanced notes of anise and cinnamon with a not too sweet caramel finish of hoisin and brown sugar. A savory symphony of flavors in your mouth.
"That good huh," Frankie smiles as you let out a groan.
"Mmph," is all you can manage, eyes closed, savoring the bite with a happy food wiggle.
You offer the bao up to him, angled so he can get the perfect bite, the scruff on his chin tickling your fingers as he takes an exaggerated bite.
"Fuch, ish good," he mumbles, mouth full and sauce dripping out the corner of his mouth.
When you brush your thumb to wipe the sauce away, the pink triangle of his tongue peeks out to lick your finger clean. Your eyes flick up and catch a dark, mischievous look across Frankie's face that makes you want to combust on the fucking spot. You distract yourself by taking another bite of the bao before offering the last bite to him.
He sighs in contentment when the food is finished and pulls you closer to him, tucking you to his side. It's warm and safe here snuggled against him with his strong arm draped over your shoulder as you idly watch other diners nearby. Safe enough you weigh the risk of ruining the moment by sharing about your painful past.
"Can I tell you a little bit about... what happened a year ago?" you ask, voice quiet, looking up at him.
Frankie returns your gaze, "Of course."
"Ok," you drop your gaze to your hands and take a deep breath before continuing. "We, um, met in college. Both of us pre-med... and just dorks with the same goals you know?"
You tell Frankie about Chase, how he changed from a sweet college boy to someone you didn't recognize as you went through med school and residency. "I was so afraid of being alone, I ignored the red flags and how we were growing apart until he went out of state for his fellowship and I stayed here. That’s when I realized I was happier on my own than when he would visit."
You peek up at Frankie through your lashes and realize he's been looking at you and listening intently the entire time. "But it took catching him cheating for me to leave."
You shudder at the memory of the night you tried to leave and the weeks that passed before you finally could. That is a story for another day. Frankie tightens his grip around your shoulders as he releases a sharp exhale through his nose when you stop talking.
"I appreciate you sharin' all that with me, Sweets," he says, pausing as if he isn't sure what he wants to say next. His thumb on your shoulder tracing slow circles on your skin.
"I guess I spent the last year working on myself and figuring out what I want now in a relationship," you continue.
"And what's that?"
"Where I can be myself and not have to cut off pieces to fit someone else's idea of who I should be — accepted for being me," the last part you say wistfully.
"As you should be. You're amazing, you know that?"
"Depends who you ask," you respond, quirking a smile up at him. "But I like myself alright now."
Frankie shares a bit about where things went south with Vanessa, his struggles with learning how to single parent. They had been high school sweethearts and stayed together, though he admits he felt like they were growing apart even before he joined Delta Force. How they tried to stick it out when Vanessa got pregnant with Gabi, but eventually realizing it was better for everyone if they separated.
You pull his arm tighter around you when you feel him hesitate and start to pull back after sharing about his own relationship history.
"Thanks for telling me."
"Not too much?" Frankie asks, eyes etched with worry.
"You're never too much for me, Frankie."
He visibly relaxes before asking, "Would getting dessert be too much?"
"Never," you say as you stand and offer your hands to pull him up. "Don't you know I have a whole separate stomach for dessert?"
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The dessert course is a small takeaway window for Italian water ice just off the broad walk along the beach. You weigh the flavor options, debating between mango and passion fruit, before finally deciding on mango. Frankie picks passion fruit without hesitation.
He gives you a knowing smile and wink when you raise an eyebrow to his choice, "Figure that way you'll get to try both flavors." Is it possible to simultaneously melt into a puddle and combust from his thoughtfulness?
The velvety smooth ice refreshes as the fruit flavor cleanses your palate from your decadent dinner. You both make your way down the broad walk at a leisurely pace, sharing bites of yours with Frankie as he feeds you bites of his.
“Not too sweet?” he asks with a grin, knowing your bar for the ideal dessert.
“Not too sweet,” you confirm with a pleased smile.
He offers you the last spoon of his dessert, which you accept without hesitation because your sweet tooth is the boss, before he takes both your empty cups and tosses them into the trash. You intertwine your fingers in his as you continue your stroll, turning down one of the piers and walking down part of the way.
“Think this might be the best first date I’ve ever been on,” you smile at him, eye to eye as you lean back and balance on the lowest rung of the railing. His strong arms cage you in on both sides, protective as if you might possibly fall into the water below.
“Yeah?” He breathes back, curls whipped wild by the ocean’s breeze, brown eyes anchored to yours. “What would make it definitely the best first date you’ve ever been on?”
“If you kissed me right now.” The tip of your tongue wets your lower lip as your gaze flicks to his plush lips curving into a small smile at your words.
Frankie smooths your hair back before cupping your cheek with one hand. “Think I can manage that.” He presses the line of his body against you as he slots his mouth against yours, gently at first, until you open for him to lick into your mouth. A soft moan escapes your throat. He kisses you harder, his other large hand snaking up the middle of you back to cup your neck, holding you in place. You reach your hands to run your fingers through his curls, such soft curls, tugging to keep him pressed against you. When he lets out a soft moan you realize he likes it when you do that.
Your foot slips when someone suddenly catcalls the two of you, followed by a "GET A ROOM!" But Frankie catches you with his quick reflexes, holding you tight against him. "I got you, baby," he reassures, voice breathy and soft. Baby. You practically melt at the endearment. And because he's now nuzzling the sensitive spot behind your ear with the delicious curve of his nose, peppering kisses down the column of your neck.
"Frankie," your voice comes out breathy like you've just sprinted down the broad walk. You repeat his name when he continues to pepper you with kisses.
"Hmm," he rumbles against your neck.
"We're in public." A giggle escapes your throat.
His eyes flick up to yours, black pupils edging out the brown you get lost in, expression intense. Hungry, but not for food. He wraps an arm around your waist and places you gently back on solid ground.
"I can fix that, baby," he murmurs. Pressing a kiss to your temple and tucking your hair behind your ear, he steers you by the small of your back and leads you back to his truck.
<< prev next >>
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Endnote: Sweet's relationship with her ex-fiance is partially inspired by this quote from Robin Williams: "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
Hi hi, did ya miss me? I missed YOU. Been adjusting to a new job and the absolute fatigue from training has me beat (summer powerlifting competition wee!). But I’m so glad Frankie and Sweets finally went on their date and ate so well. It’s funny, but I’ve mostly written the last chapter and I just need to get them there. I’m learning that all the stuff between is uh, the hard part. Also, I still haven’t wrapped my head around writing smut, but we’ll see. At least they kinda made out? Lol. Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far. It means the world to this newbie fanfic writer. Taglist is open! You know you wanna! xoxo, Jee
Taglist: @katareyoudrilling @christinamadsen @rebel-held @littlemisspascal
@burntheedges @darkheartgatita @enretrogue @titabel
@copperhalfcent @triplefrontier-anniversary
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Text
Run Free - Alpha!Ari Levinson x Omega!Reader (Part 4: Red)
Summary: You begin to open up more to Ari but when you want him the most he has to stay away for your safety
Word Count: 4.8k
Warnings: Angst! Fluff! Talk of Captive Situation! A/B/O dynamics!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Series Masterlist / Masterlist
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Chapter 4: Red
Like promised Rachel took you into town to find some clothes of your own. You had to admit that initially, you were nervous, you felt somewhat exposed. You found yourself looking over your shoulder hoping you wouldn’t spot one of your old captors looking for you.
One thing you didn’t expect was the amount of omegas that were all just out. They all seemed completely at ease, they didn’t shy away or hide. It helped you relax more, especially knowing you had Rachel watching your back.
Rachel made sure to take everything at your pace. Helping you find stuff you liked, suggesting things for you. You went from shop to shop picking up a few items here and there.
You were currently in one of the changing rooms trying on some of the clothes Rachel had helped you pick out.  You were trying on a white cami but when you caught sight of the scars on your back you quickly grabbed a sweater and slid it on to hide them.
“Hey, how’s everything?” Rachel asked knocking on the door.
“Um good I think,” you said running your hands down the cashmere sweater.
“Can I come in and have a look?” She asked gently.
“Uh yeah sure,” you said, quickly unlocking the door and allowing her to slip inside.
“Oh that looks great on you” Rachel smiled making you smile bashfully.
“Thank you, it's so soft” You couldn’t stop yourself from stroking the soft fabric, finding the sensation comforting. 
“What did you think of the rest? and the cami?” Rachel asked looking through the pile of clothes.
“They’re good, I didn’t like the cami though” you admitted with a small shrug of your shoulders.
“Are you wearing it now?” She asked you pointing and you quickly nodded.
“Great, I’ve got a shirt you can try on over the top” Rachel said holding out a light blue and white plaid shirt.
You nodded making sure you were facing her as you took off the jumper so you could hide your scars. However, you had forgotten about the mirror behind you. A mistake you clearly realised when you noticed Rachel’s eyes flicker to a spot behind you. 
You quickly turned so your back was pressed against the wall. Holding the sweater close to your chest. Eyes trained on the floor as you closed in on yourself.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” Rachel apologised quickly catching you off guard as she took a step back giving you more space.
“Please don’t tell Ari,” you asked quietly not raising your eyes from the floor.
“Lips are sealed, I’ll let you finish and then why don’t we go see the guys at the bar?” She suggested making you glance up slightly.
“Yeah sounds good” you agreed quietly.
Rachel gave you a reassuring smile before slipping out of the changing room. You locked the door behind her before taking a deep shaky breath and hugging yourself tightly. You tried to calm yourself down but you couldn’t. 
You started getting dressed back into your own clothes when you got a whiff of Ari’s scent. Pulling the long-sleeved top up to your nose you realise his scent was imbedded in your clothes. It was barely there, but you could smell it. You felt yourself finally begin to calm down.
“Okay?” Rachel asked as you stepped out.
“Good” you nodded making her smile.
“Great, let's get this paid for and we’ll head to the bar” Rachel smiled taking the clothes from you.
This was the first time you had actually stepped foot in the bar since Ari found you. It wasn’t too busy, a few small groups sat at tables. You spotted the guys all sat at the bar. You then caught sight of Ari stood behind the bar chuckling as he polished a pint glass. 
His eyes met yours and his smile grew when he saw you walking over. When he first spotted you he could sense the lingering nerves on you but they almost instantly melted away. 
“Well hello ladies, did you enjoy your shopping trip,” Jake asked turning round to face you.
“Yes very successful” Rachel smiled sitting down on a free stool.
“Here, follow me you can put the bags in the back office” Ari smiled stepping out from behind the bar and grabbing some of the bags.
You followed Ari with the rest of the bags to the back office. When you placed them down you started glancing around looking at all the things Ari had. The bottle of scotch on the side, the pictures of him and his friends. The large pile of paperwork spread out on his desk.
“Did you have a good time, you seemed a little nervous when you got here” Ari asked turning to you.
“Yeah was just a little overwhelming but I’m good I promise,” you told him not wanting to tell him the truth.
“Okay, good I’m glad you had a good time now let me get you a drink” Ari smiled holding out his hand. 
You smiled, took his hand and let him lead you back out to the bar. You sat down at the bar beside Rachel, Ari then placed a beer bottle down in front of you.
“It’s non-alcoholic, thought you might want to ease yourself in” Ari smiled leaning against the bar.
You raised the bottle to your lips taking a small sip before nodding your head “Not bad” you said.
“I’ll take that” Ari chuckled pushing up from the bar.
Ari got back to work serving customers and cleaning behind the bar. He kept looking over at you smiling when he saw you freely chatting and laughing with his friends. You were completely different to the version of you he found behind the dumpster. He smiled to himself his chest filling with pride that he had been able to help you.
His fortune seemed to be changing too, this was the busiest the bar had been in weeks. It seemed to be getting busier too, with more groups walking in. When a group of male alphas walked in Ari glanced at you to make sure you were okay but you seemed unaffected.
Jake was telling you a story when you got distracted and glanced out over the bar. You spotted an omega approaching one of the alphas that had arrived a short while ago. You watched surprised that she so willingly went over to him and started talking to him. Maybe alphas weren’t as dangerous as you thought. The illusion was shattered when the alpha then growled at the omega turning aggressive.
“Get the fuck out of here omega” he commanded.
Your blood ran cold as fear ran through your body. Your body acted of its own accord, unable to disobey an alpha command even if it wasn’t aimed at you. You darted out of the bar heading to the back office the only safe space you could think of. Ari shouted and growled as you left.
Ari had his back turned to the bar but turned when he heard the commotion behind him. He turned back around just to see you running away towards the office, your fear filling his senses. His sights focused on where he heard the growling from spotting another omega fleeing out the door from an alpha.
“Hey!” Ari shouted glaring over at the alpha.
“What?” The alpha huffed taking a sip of his drink.
“Get out, I don’t tolerate aggression like that” Ari warned nodding to the door.
The alpha scoffed turning his back to Ari ignoring his demand.
“I told you to get out” Ari growled moving out from behind the bar.
He had no clue exactly what this alpha had done, but he’d scared you. Ari’s protectiveness over you boiling over.
“No. You don’t want whiny bitches like that in here, I was doing you a favour” the alpha argued over his shoulders.
Ari grabbed the guy by the collar pulling him off his chair and dragging him out the door. He throws the alpha to the ground harshly.
“I don’t want assholes like you” Ari growled before heading back inside.
“Max. Make sure he leaves” Ari ordered as he walked back over to the bar.
“Already on it,” Max said getting up and walking towards the front door, Jake following closely behind.
“Rachel watch the bar for me” Ari told her before heading out the back to the office. 
As he approached he could smell the fear rolling off you in waves. He stepped inside the office he spotted you in the furthest corner curled up in a ball. He carefully approached making sure to give you enough space and bending down to be at your level.
“Hey it’s okay, it's only me, you’re safe” Ari said gently.
You glanced up your body shaking as you nervously met his gaze. Ari gave you a small reassuring smile before shuffling slightly closer and sitting down.
“I’m sorry” you whispered looking down.
“You have nothing to apologise for, I sent that guy packing,” Ari told you making you look back up at him surprised.
“Really?” You asked.
“Yeah, I don’t want people like that in my bar, and he scared you and I couldn’t have that” Ari reassured you.
You shook your head slightly “he didn’t scare me, well he did but not really, it was the alpha command that made me run” you explained picking nervously at your sleeves.
“He commanded you?” Ari asked furrowing his brows.
“No not me, but-“ you sighed pulling your knees closer to your chest.
Ari remained silent waiting for when you were ready to tell him whatever it was. Ari watched as you took a shuddering breath looking up at the ceiling and closing your eyes. You were internally debating whether to tell him the truth or not, the reason why you reacted like you did. 
When you opened your eyes and looked back over at Ari you could see him patiently waiting. You could see the hint of concern but also that he was masking his emotions. Not allowing himself to push you into anything, despite how he felt. You remembered how kind and caring Ari had been since taking you in, making you feel safe.
“While I was… you know… they um would use alpha commands to make us submit and so they could do whatever they wanted to us” you told him.
Ari felt physically sick when he realised exactly what you meant “they raped you?” He asked hoping he was wrong.
You nodded sadly “It was how they made their money, for the first couple years I was just a prisoner they told me it was to keep me safe, but once I turned 18 it started, once you’re older and you make them less money they sell you, I heard alpha commands so much I didn’t need my biology to tell me to follow” you explained.
Ari sighed shaking his head sadly “shit, I’m so sorry you had to live through that, and I promise I will never ever use an alpha command on or near you, I don’t like them anyway it’s not right for someone to be able to take away someone’s choice because of biology” Ari told you, he wanted to reach out to reassure you but stopped himself.
You sighed slightly your eyes falling to his hand which was on the floor between you. His words alone had calmed you but you wanted, needed more. So you shuffled towards him moving into his side and resting your head on his shoulder. Ari stiffened slightly shocked at your willingness to get closer before relaxing.
“Thank you Ari, I’ve never met an alpha as kind or as sweet as you” you admitted as his arm moved around you.
“It’s nothing, just doing what’s right,” Ari told you quietly.
He pressed a gentle, barely there kiss to the top of your head. Breathed in your calming lavender and wildflower scent. He felt all his anger towards the alpha and your captors leave him, completely relaxing with you in his arms.
“If you want I can get one of the guys to take you home” Ari offered after a couple of minutes.
“No I’m good, I’d um- I’d rather stay here with you” you admitted making Ari smile, his chest puffed out with pride
“Okay, no problem, maybe I can teach you how to play pool” Ari suggested.
“I’d like that” you smiled.
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When you woke up you instantly didn’t feel well. Your head hurt and your stomach was churning. You trudged your way down the hall to the bathroom hoping a shower would make you feel better. It didn’t.
You didn’t want anything to eat but made your way downstairs to grab a glass of water. As you walked into the kitchen you found Ari leaning against the counter drinking a cup of coffee.
“Morning, sleep well?” He smiled when he saw you.
“Yeah,” you said as you fill a glass with water.
“Fancy coming to the bar again today?” Ari asked.
“No I’ve got a bit of a headache so I think I’m just gonna just relax today” you told him making him furrow his brows.
“Oh, well there’s painkillers in the bathroom cabinet if you need some” Ari smiled finishing his coffee and putting the mug in the sink.
“Thank you, have a nice day at work” you smiled watching as he shrugged on a jacket and headed out.
Once he was gone you made your way upstairs as you started to feel more unwell. Your stomach cramping feeling like you were being stabbed. You felt yourself grow extremely hot and feverish. You grabbed the painkillers hoping that the pain would soon subside, having no idea what was happening to your body.
Hours later Ari was making his way home from the bar. Sammy had joined him wanting to see how you were getting on. As soon as he opened the front door he almost recoiled at the scent of you exploding in his senses. He then realised that what he could smell was your pain and fear.
“Y/N!” Ari shouted running inside and up the stairs.
“Ari wait!” Sammy shouted after him.
Ari burst into your room to see you drenched in sweat and curled up in a ball. Your face was contorted in pain all your muscles visibly tensed. The next thing Ari noticed was the smell of your arousal, making his mouth go dry.
“Ari please help” you cried out, your voice wobbled.
Ari instinctively went to step inside but Sammy physically tackled him to the floor. Ari growled at his best friend trying to push him off. The two men tussled on the ground, deep growls rolling off the both of them. Ari knew he had the strength but Sammy had the upper hand and was quicker at dodging Ari’s attempts to push him off. 
The fighting only stopped momentarily when Sammy landed a hard punch to Ari’s cheek. Ari looked up at his best friend in momentary shock before shoving him harshly back, Sammy landing on his back with a loud thud.
“What the fuck Sam! She needs me!” Ari growled finally pushing himself to his feet.
“She’s in heat Ari, probably a breakout one going by the intensity” Sammy said holding his arms out to keep Ari back.
“She wants my help!” Ari shouted hearing you whine desperately.
“No, it's all biology! She doesn’t know what she wants not really!” Sammy told him trying to calm the angry alpha.
“She’s terrified!” Ari growled glaring at Sammy not believing that he was stopping him from helping you.
“And we want her to feel safe, she’s not gonna feel safe if you send yourself into a rut!” Sammy said raising his voice to get his point across.
Ari stopped for a moment his logical side winning out as Sammy’s words sunk in. Ari desperately wanted to help you but Sammy was right if he didn’t get out he would become a danger to you.
“I’ll look after her, as a beta her heat doesn’t affect me, but you should go stay at the bar” Sammy told him sensing that Ari was calming down.
“I don’t know” Ari sighed shaking his head and fighting the urge to be there with you.
“Stay in the woods, you’ll be close enough to keep an eye on everything but far enough away so you don’t go into a rut” Sammy suggested.
Ari nods his head pushing past Sammy, resisting every instinct to go to you. He paused at your door feeling the pull towards you but fought against it running down the stairs. He pushed out onto the back porch pulling off his jacket.
He shifted into his wolf self, his clothes melting away as deep brown fur replaced it. He ran off of the back porch and towards the woods. Once he was far enough he turned to look back at his cabin. At the window to your bedroom. He could see Sammy stood at the window watching him go. He threw his head back letting out a loud howl, letting you know he was there even if you couldn’t see him.
“Sammy! Sammy! Where’s Ari?” You cried out when you saw Sammy walk in.
“He’s had to go, but you’ll be okay, I’ll be here,” Sammy said holding the back of his hand to your forehead.
“I’m scared, what’s happening to me?” You whimpered as another cramp hit you.
“It's your heat, have you not had one before?” Sammy asked and all you could do was shake your head.
“Okay, it’s okay it will pass just get as comfortable as you can” Sammy sighed shaking his head.
“Is there nothing else” you begged desperate for the pain to stop.
Sammy moved over to your window looking out before turning back towards you “No sorry we just have to wait it out” Sammy sighed.
You then heard a loud howl from outside, you’d never heard it before but you knew it was Ari. You let out a small whine wanting him desperately.
Every day was torture for Ari to stay away from the cabin. He had to fight every instinct and urge to be with you. He felt like he was failing you, abandoning you when you needed him. Even if he knew that he was doing the right thing.
That didn’t stop him from visiting the cabin every day, sometimes multiple times a day. Howling so that you knew he was there. 
It had only been a couple of days when Ari tested how close he could get. Going as close as curling up at the bottom of the steps of the back porch.
“Ari” he heard Sammy sigh.
Ari lifted his head to inspect Sammy. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up a cold rag in his hands.
“She’s fine, but you’re too close,” Sammy told him.
Ari let out a huff of annoyance but stood. He stretched out his back before kicking out his hind legs, sending clumps of mud in Sammy’s direction.
“Very mature, now go, and no closer than the maple tree” Sammy said brushing off his shirt before pointing to the tree in question.
Ari lets out a low growl snarling at Sammy but moves over to the maple tree settling down underneath it. He watched as Sammy walked back inside the cabin. Ari rested his head down on his front paws, his ears flicking to any sound. Making sure you were safe.
When he decided to test the boundaries again later on in the week he was met by Jake patrolling outside the cabin. The thinner wolf with light brown and grey mottled fur gave him a warning growl when he approached. 
The both of them knew that Ari could easily overpower him and get inside if he really wanted to. Ari watched as Jake stood his ground, hackles raising. Ari glanced up at your window only to hear Jake snarl in response. Ari huffed before glancing back at Jake and turning back towards the woods. Jake tilted his head in surprise that the alpha gave in so easily.
For the first time in days, you woke and wasn’t in blinding pain. You sat up and a chill ran through your body. You grabbed Ari’s shirt and slipped it on, hugging it tight to your body. Ari’s scent filled your nostrils and calmed you down.
“Hey, how you feeling?” Sammy asked as he walked in with a bowl of water and a cloth.
“Tired, but much better,” you said pulling the blanket over your lap.
“Any cramps?” Sammy asked holding the back of his hand to your forehead.
“No, they’ve gone,” you said shaking your head.
“The fever has gone too as well as other heat symptoms” Sammy nodded stepping back “are you hungry?” 
“Starving, where’s Ari?” You asked.
“Not far, I’ll let him know you’re better, and we’ll talk once he’s back” Sammy reassured you “in the meantime go freshen up and I’ll see what Ari passes for food in his kitchen” Sammy smirked making your snort with laughter.
“Thanks Sammy” you smiled thankfully.
Ari was fast asleep under a pine tree when he was woken up by pine needles being kicked in his face. He woke with a start to see Jake still in wolf form wagging his tail playfully. Ari pushed himself up raising his nose in the direction of the cabin. 
Jake nudged him forward and Ari sprinted off towards the house. He could hear Jake following close behind and was half expecting Jake to stop him. Once he reached the back porch he stopped and looked back over at Jake who was stood a few meters away wagging his tail.
Ari shifted back into his human form, picking out a few stray pine needles stuck in his hair.
“Thanks Jake,” Ari said watching Jake wag his tail before running off towards town.
Ari turned and opened the back door and instantly heard the sound of you laughing. Stepping inside Ari almost immediately spotted you sitting at the kitchen table eating. Once your eyes met his your smile grew and all Ari could smell was your lavender scent.
Seeing Ari again instantly made you feel more at ease. Your eyes roamed over his body not realising how much you’d missed him. You couldn’t help but smile when you saw the rogue pine needles in his hair. You also noticed the faded bruise on his cheekbone, your eyes flicker to Sammy wondering if he’d hurt the Alpha.
“What are you two laughing at?” Ari smiles moving to sit down at the table.
“Just how you almost burnt your place down making toast” Sammy smirks making Ari rolls his eyes.
“It got stuck in there! I couldn’t get it out and it just continued to burn” Ari says defending himself.
You snorted with laughter as you smiled warmly over at Ari, a sight that made Ari’s heart swell. If he could he’d jump over the table and kiss you senseless, he didn’t realise how much he’d missed you until he saw you smiling again.
“How are you?” Ari asked you.
“I’m good much better” you said with a small smile.
“Do you know much about heats?” Sammy asked you gently.
You shook your head “Nothing, my parents never told me and…” you said trailing off.
“That’s okay, all it is is your body’s natural cycle, it causes cramps and fever-like symptoms, it’s also when you’re most fertile and your body subconsciously lets others know particularly Alphas,” Sammy said glancing over at Ari.
“Oh,” you muttered nervously looking over at Ari.
“It's why Ari had to go, because it triggers Alpha ruts, biology and instincts would have taken over and neither of you would have been in complete control” Sammy explained and you looked over at him in confusion.
“What do you mean?” You asked.
Sammy and Ari exchanged a glance before Sammy cleared his throat “Well… since it is when an omega is most fertile the internal biology drives you and surrounding alphas to mate, so much so that mating actually causes the negative symptoms of heat to end” Sammy explained.
A wave of realisation rushes over your features and you shift slightly in your chair appearing uncomfortable.
“In this day and age there are suppressants you can take, I’m guessing that they hid them in your food, they stop the cycle and prevent heats” Ari explained sitting back noticing your sudden nervousness.
“I can give you some so you don’t have to worry about heats anymore,” Sammy told you.
“That would be great thank you,” you said quietly.
An awkward silence falls in the room before you excuse yourself saying you were tired and wanted to rest. Ari watched you go, sighing sadly seeing you hide away again. You had made so much progress he’d hate for all that to be undone.
“It’s just a lot for her to take in, she probably just needs time to process it all” Sammy reassured him.
“I hope so” Ari sighed running his hand over his beard.
“I’m surprised she didn’t know about them though” Sammy admitted shrugging his shoulders.
“She was taken when she was 16 so she might not have even had one, it seems like her parents weren’t the best either,” Ari told him quietly.
“Shit” Sammy muttered shaking his head.
“She’ll be fine though right?” Ari asks hesitantly.
“Yeah, it was more intense since it was a break-out one, but her body was probably waiting until it was strong enough so it means she’s on the right track,” Sammy said standing up “I better go I’ll drop round the suppressants tomorrow” 
“Thanks Sammy, for looking after her and out for the both of us, I dread to think what would have happened if you weren’t here” Ari sighed shaking Sammy's hand.
“Well I’d like to think your logical brain would have kicked in to stop you from doing anything stupid” Sammy smirked before heading out.
Ari wasn’t expecting to see you for the rest of the evening. All he wanted was to make sure you were okay, but he knew you needed space and after finding out everything, you might not even want to be around him anymore.
To calm his nerves he pulled out his bottle of scotch. Pouring himself a healthy measure he settled down on the couch. He took a large sip before slumping down and resting his foot on the coffee table.
“Hey” you said quietly startling him.
He quickly looked over his shoulder to see you stood there. You were wearing the shirt he’d given you, pulling nervously on the sleeves.
“Hey, you okay?” Ari asked sitting up as you move around the back of the couch to sit down.
“I’m good, it was just a lot” you sighed crossing your legs.
“I’m sorry, but I promise you’re completely safe here, I would never have let anything happen to you” Ari promised.
“I know,” you said giving him a small smile.
“And I hope you didn’t think I abandoning you, trust me I wanted to be there to help you, but I knew I needed to keep you safe, I did wish I was a beta though,” Ari told you.
“No, you’ve allowed me to trust alphas again, shown me that you aren’t all monsters” You said moving closer to him, looking at him directly in the eye.
It was true. All Ari had done since finding you was be kind, caring and sweet. He made you feel safe for the first time in years. Even hearing how he left to keep you safe, you knew he’d been checking in too. Hearing Sammy mutter about it and hearing Ari’s howls. 
You smiled when you noticed a rouge pine needle in his hair, instinctively reaching out and pulling it from his hair. You saw his eyes widen in surprise before softening. A small smile appeared on his lips.
“I just kinda wish I wasn’t so naive about all of this stuff, I’m a fully grown adult who knows nothing” you sighed dropping your hand into your lap, rolling the pine needle between your fingers.
“Don’t worry about it, and look you can ask me anything there’s no such thing as a stupid question” Ari reassured you making you smile.
“Thank you Ari, I’m gonna head to bed, I just wanted to check you were okay,” you said gesturing to his bruised cheek as you stood up from the couch.
Ari looked back at you in surprise, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips “I’m good, just Sammy knocking some sense into me, no need to worry” he told you.
“Okay, night Ari” you smiled bending down and very quickly kissing his cheek before darting up the stairs.
“Night Y/N” Ari muttered watching with wide eyes as you went.
Once you were gone Ari shakes his head slightly trying to work out if this was a dream or not. Your lips had just grazed his cheek but it still sent a jolt through his body. He quickly downed the rest of his drink reminding himself it was probably just a lingering effect of your heat, despite him wanting that not to be the case at all.
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Sharing is caring so please reblog and leave a comment to really make my day!
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jimraisedmeup · 23 hours
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TICK // 6.1 - i feel you
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Rating: mature (violence, language)
Word Count: 500
A/N: First and foremost, thank you to everyone who has taken a portion of their time to read TICK... words cannot explain my joy to know if even one person can relate to it or make them feel some type of way. I also wanted to mention, this is a random short chapter - just for this one, we are fast forwarding to 1986, what I am calling "present day" (AKA Season 4) for a smidge ;-D As part of the storytelling, I might do this more, and there might be small time skips coming up, so, *wink wink* watch the date at the beginning of each chapter. thank u agn love u all
...now let's get on with it.
I feel you Your sun it shines I feel you Within my mind
Spring Break 1986 - present day
Eddie Munson held a broken beer bottle against Steve Harrington's throat. 
Three dark figures rushed forward, at the front being Dustin Henderson. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Eddie! Eddie! Stop!" He was frantic.
But Eddie knew better than to let his guard down at the mere arrival of a friendly face. Even the innocent face of a freshman in the Hellfire Club. The situation was dire.
"Eddie. Eddie. It's me. It's Dustin." The shorter kid gestured towards Harrington. "This is Steve. He's not gonna hurt you, right, Steve?"
The douchebag in his grasp was barely visible in the dark boathouse, but Eddie could feel him nod.
"Right. Yeah."
"Steve, why don't you drop the oar?" Dustin suggested.
He hesitated for a second, but then Harrington finally dropped the oar. The sudden sound of it crashing on the ground only prompted Eddie to press the broken glass further onto Steve's neck.
The trio behind him pleaded with him.
"He's cool! He's. Cool." 
Past the glints of light coming off his own silver rings, Eddie made eye contact with the guy struggling in his grasp. 
"I'm cool, man. I'm cool."
"What are you doing here?" was the only thing Eddie Munson could think to ask.
Dustin raised his hands before him. "We're looking for you."
A familiar voice chirped from Dustin's right, distracting him for a second. "We're here to help." 
He felt a tugging at the back of his skull... a distant memory. Dustin kept rambling.
"Eddie, these are my friends. You know Robin, from band. This is my friend Max. The one who never wants to play D&D," Dustin paused. "Eddie. We're on your side. I swear on my mother! Right guys?"
Everyone else around him quickly concurred. But Eddie's mind went completely blank at the name Robin.
"Yes. Yes. We swear." A small red-haired girl, looking extremely depressed.
"On Dustin's mother." That familiar voice again, bringing him back to images and memories he repressed over a year ago. 
Eddie was pulled out of his thoughts by Harrington speaking, squirming in his grip.
"Yeah, Dustin's… Dustin's mother."
He stared at the Harrington kid for a second, remembering all the times he and his jock friends called him a "freak". But now wasn't the time for old grudges. A new dawn approached.
Eddie let him go and stepped away.
"Jesus Chr-" Steve complained, holding his neck.
The rest of them watched Eddie carefully as he leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down until he reached the floor. His head felt like a timebomb ready to blow at any moment.
Dustin crouched in front of him. "We just want to talk. Okay."
"We want to know what happened." The girl with short hair and blue eyes approached him. Those damn blue eyes.
"Robin Buckley?"
"Uh… the one and only." She couldn't have possibly looked more uncomfortable.
Eddie was utterly confused for a moment, his brown eyes moving to each of the faces like he was looking for someone.
"Wait," he spoke, his voice hoarse. "How exactly did you guys find me?"
Unbeknownst to the shaken man, you sat on the hood of the car outside, acting as a lookout.
I feel you Each move you make I feel you Each breath you take
Where angels sing And spread their wings My love's on high You take me home To glory's throne By and by
(song lyrics credit: "I Feel You" by Depeche Mode)
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jadedloverart · 7 months
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Queen of the Damned
Chapter: 10/10 14
Summary: In which every door leads somewhere.
Next: The sleeping dragon awakes.
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quibbs126 · 2 years
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Does anyone else see similarities between what Randall was told happened after his “death” and The Count of Monte Cristo? Which by the way, happens to be originally French, and was also made into a few musicals?
Like, did Descole just get some basic points from Randall’s history and go “oh boy I can turn this into a recreation of my favorite musical” and just run with it?
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belovedguk · 17 days
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burnout (jk)
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summary: jeon jungkook asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend in order to get back at his ex-girlfriend. however, you soon realize his true intentions.
pairing: bball player!jungkook x student journalist fem!reader
genres: yandere, dark romance, slow burn
author’s note: this is a repost or burnout chapters 1-3 + a bonus sneak peek from chapter 4 from my deleted account, aikastales, for easy viewing. it is still on hold. minors do not interact. no warnings for this specific part.
total word count: 10k
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PART ONE
Why was Jeon Jungkook at the Communications building? 
He had a red and white leather jacket on top of a white shirt, jeans, and his black combat boots. His long hair was a mess, which you guessed was due to his helmet, and when he saw you walking down the steps of the building, he perked up, smiled, and waved at you. 
At first, you weren’t even sure if it was you he was waving at, so you were a bit stunned, and looked over your shoulder. But then, you heard your name called by him. You and Jungkook were not friends. Sure, you exchanged friendly nods at each other whenever your paths would cross, but that was the end of it. In fact, the only reason why you even exchanged those friendly nods was because of Taehyung—your cousin who also happened to be his best friend since preschool. If it wasn’t for him, you and Jungkook would just pass by each other without so much as a glance. 
And so, it was only natural that you were confused and surprised when you saw him leaning against his motorcycle in front of your college’s building, apparently waiting for you. 
“Y/N, hey,” Jungkook greeted with a smile on his handsome face once he was near you. 
Still confused, you returned the smile, adjusting the strap of your backpack hanging over your shoulder. “Hi, Jungkook. Is everything okay?” 
He nodded. “Yeah, everything is—everything’s fine,” he said. Then, he cleared his throat. “Do you have time like right now? My treat.” He asked, his doe eyes piercing into yours. 
You could not believe what you just heard. “What?” Was all you could reply. 
Jungkook chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his gloved hand. “I know. It’s a shock, right? Believe me, I am too, but I just really need to talk to you about something. I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t so important.” 
“Is it about Taehyung? Is he okay? Did he get into trouble?” You asked, alert. It was the only logical answer why Jungkook waited for you and why he wanted to talk to you. Taehyung was the only person connecting the both of you. 
Jungkook shook his head. “No, no, it’s not about Taehyung, but he’s fine. He’s in his class right now. Look,” he sighed deeply, licking his lower lip with the tip of his tongue before staring at you once more. “Yiseul, I just really need to talk to you. In private.”
You debated whether to go with him or not. This was Jeon Jungkook. Despite his tattoos, broad shoulders, piercings, and big bike—he was harmless. He was your cousin’s best friend, and even though you two weren’t friends, he looked like he needed one at the moment. Besides, you wouldn’t deny that a part of you wasn’t curious as to why he needed to talk to you. That and the fact that because you had been in love with him since you met him when you were thirteen, how could you say no to something that you had only imagined in your wildest dreams? 
“Okay. Okay, let’s go,” you agreed, heart beating rapidly. “Where are we going?” 
Jungkook’s smile widened when you agreed. “There’s a basement cafe twenty minutes from here. It’s called Seven.” 
The both of you began making your way towards his motorcycle. “Just how private is this conversation going to be?” you asked supposedly only for yourself, but accidentally, you said it out loud. 
“I guess you already have an idea on how private it needs to be considering the location,” he chuckled. “But don’t worry—I promise you’ll get home in one piece.” 
Jungkook handed you his extra helmet, and you were thankful that you didn’t wear a dress that day. After placing your backpack in front of your chest, you wore the helmet. “Can you give me a hint on what it’s about?” 
You couldn’t help it. You were curious. 
“I remember you always being curious, Y/N. Glad you haven’t changed at all,” Jungkook said, mounting his motorcycle. “In twenty minutes, you’ll know. If you ride now, you’ll know in fifteen minutes.” 
You thought he looked so attractive as he smiled and waited for you on his motorcycle. His smile was so infectious that you couldn’t help but to return it. “Alright, fine,” you say. Then, you mounted his motorcycle, placing your hands on his firm shoulders. 
“Ready?” Jungkook asked, placing his key into the ignition, briefly glancing at you. 
“Yeah, ready,” you replied. He started the engine and you held onto your backpack for dear life. You had seen Jungkook drive his motorcycle before and the only way you could describe it was fast. 
“Alright. Let’s go.” 
Jungkook drove off. 
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As promised, fifteen minutes later, you arrived at Seven. It was indeed a basement cafe, secluded from the busy city streets and tucked in between fruit stands and ready-to-wear clothes inside an alley. You were the first to get off his motorcycle, taking your helmet off. Shaking your head, you took in your surroundings while Jungkook took his motorcycle garments off. 
The alley was alive with mostly elderly people buying fruits and high schoolers buying the RTWs. The tangerines stood out due to their bright color against the setting sun. You wondered when and how Jungkook came to know the place, if he frequented it, why he chose this place over all other cafes. 
“Y/N? Let’s go inside?” Jungkook asked, gesturing to you to enter the cafe first. 
You nodded, entering Seven. As a basement cafe, the first thing you noticed were the windows placed near the ceiling. A permanent sepia hue covered the entire establishment due to its yellow orange lights. The walls were painted gray, tables and chairs white. There were only a few tables and chairs, and Jungkook led the way to the one at the very back. 
He pulled the chair out of you which you thanked him for, and you sat down. Jungkook followed afterwards, placing the helmets on the table between the both of you. 
“What do you want?” He asked, pulling his chair closer to the table. 
“Honestly, I’m more curious on why you want to talk to me than have any drinks here,” you told him, placing your backpack on the floor beside your chair. 
Jungkook chuckled, leaning his back against his chair. “Alright. Should I just say it?” 
You nodded. 
“I was hoping that you’ll pretend to be my girlfriend to make Haemin jealous,” Jungkook said so casually that you were completely and utterly stunned. Did you just hear him correctly? Upon seeing your reaction, he continued, “She broke up with me a month ago, and to be honest, I saw it coming already. We were getting into a lot of meaningless fights, always finding faults in one another, and just overall, being toxic to each other. So, when she broke up with me, I did not put up a fight, and just let her be,” Jungkook scoffed, shaking his head lightly. “Then, I learned that she was seeing Han Riyeo, that fucking bastard from Yongsan, behind my back for three months, and I want to get back at her.” 
His explanation did not help you grasp what he just said previously. You were still stunned, but you managed to ask, “Why me?” 
“For reasons I still don’t know, Haemin was always jealous of you,” he confessed.
Now, that was a surprise. “What? You and I barely had any interaction.” 
“I know, but I suspect it’s because you’re there whenever I hang out with Taehyung,” Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, then ran his fingers through his hair. “So? Will you help me, Y/N?” 
“This is pretty childish, don’t you think?” you told him, eyebrows furrowed. 
Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ll pay you. I know you need the money. Taehyung mentioned you’re saving for the deposit on this apartment you want to rent.” 
You stared at him, trying to find any trace of mischief in his eyes and body language but found none. Jungkook was serious. A part of you knew that the logical answer would be to decline his offer. It was childish, as you had told him. It was a nuisance and it would do nothing but bring problems and complications in your life. Your life was complicated enough, and you didn’t need to add Jeon Jungkook’s fake girlfriend to your list of complications. 
But this was Jeon Jungkook. The person you had been in love with since you were thirteen. The person you supported, cheered on, and loved unconditionally from afar because it was all that you could do. You would be lying if you said that you did not imagine yourself being his girlfriend—going to every game, wearing his jersey, riding his motorcycle, going on dates, taking lots of photos and videos of him, hugging, and even kissing him—because you did, countless times. You would also be lying if you didn’t think that you could love him better than Haemin ever did. 
They said love makes you do crazy things. You didn’t think that applied to you. You loved Jeon Jungkook, and you didn’t think that that love would fade anytime soon. So, even though you knew that this was pretend and paid, you said, “Okay. I’ll do it.” 
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After your orders arrived, the both of you continued your conversation. 
“So, how will this work?” you asked, sipping your iced chocolate drink. 
Jungkook put up a finger, chewing the cheeseburger he ordered, and afterwards, he replied, “We act like a couple. Go on dates, post them on social media, and all that.” 
You were never someone who did things half-assed. If you were going to get paid to fake date someone, you might as well go all out. Also, perhaps, a part of you just wanted to make the most out of being Jeon Jungkook’s fake girlfriend. 
“I don’t think that would be enough to make Haemin jealous. If you really want that, we should do the things you either only did with her or promised to do with her,” you pointed out.
Jungkook nodded. “I see. You got a point.” 
“So, what are those things? The things you did for her and the things you promised to do with her?” 
He inhaled deeply, scratching the side of his nose as he thought. “Well, I pick her up everyday. Take her out on picnic dates, study with her, and I go to her recitals.” 
You nodded. “Okay. Then, you should pick me up everyday, take me out on picnic dates, study with me, and well, I don’t really do any recitals.” 
“Alright. I’ll do that,” Jungkook grinned. “As for the things I promised to do with her—the first thing that popped in my mind was that I promised I’ll take her to my brother’s wedding.” 
“We shouldn’t involve our families in this. Me being Taehyung’s cousin is complicated enough,” you remarked. 
“Okay. How about this? We made plans to go out of town during winter break. Do you wanna do that?” 
“Where?” 
“My sister-in-law runs a small resort in Busan. It’s by the beach,” 
You pressed your lips together, nodding. “Okay. That could work.”
“For my part, you have to go to my games. That’s pretty much all you have to do, and of course, the dates.” 
“That’s already a given,” you told him. “I’m assigned to cover your games this season.” 
“Right. You are the News editor of the Times. I’m honored,” Jungkook placed a hand on his chest, bowing his head at you. 
You chuckled, shaking your head. “I have a question.” 
“Go for it.” 
“What will happen when Haemin gets jealous? Will we “break up” and the two of you will get back together?” you asked, cautiously, but also curiously. 
“I have no plans of getting back together with her,” Jungkook answered. “But when she finally gets jealous and tells me about it, then revenge is served. I guess then we’ll break up. But don’t worry, I’ll pay you handsomely every time so you could move into that apartment of yours. It’s the least I could do after you agreed to do this with me.” 
It shouldn’t have stung the way it did. After all, this was only paid and pretend, but it did. 
“Alright,” you said. “We should shake hands on it.” 
You extended your hand toward him and Jungkook sealed the deal with his firm handshake. “Starting today, you’re my girl, Y/N.” 
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You would be the first to admit that looking after Kim Taehyung was something you did out of debt of gratitude toward his parents. After your father passed away when you were only eleven years old, your mother couldn’t afford to send you to school, so his parents financed your education since then and until now that you were in college. You lived with Taehyung at the condominium they bought for him near the university and since you were on scholarship through your membership at the official student publication of Jamsil University, The Jamsil Times, they only paid for your miscellaneous fees every semester. 
Because of these, you felt like Taehyung was your responsibility. You had to take care of him, look after him, tutor him, make sure he did all his school work, attend his classes, and be there every time he asked you to. It felt like when it came to him and his parents, you couldn’t say no because if you did, you could easily lose your housing and education.
It didn’t help that Taehyung seemed to attract trouble wherever he was. He even gained a nickname for it in high school which followed him in college, “Trouble Taehyung.” You couldn’t remember the times you apologized on his behalf, woke up in the middle of the night from a call from one of his so-called friends asking if you could pick him up as he was drunk and bruised, and ensured none of his troubles reached his parents. 
Tonight was no different. 
You woke up from the sound of your phone vibrating against your desk. You didn’t realize that you had fallen asleep, studying for your upcoming midterms exam, and when you woke up, you could feel the soreness of your neck and lower back. With one eye open, your vision adjusted to the bright light coming from your phone, and saw Park Jimin’s name flashing on your screen. Immediately, you knew why he was calling you. There could only be one reason: Kim Taehyung. 
“Hello?” your voice was hoarse, groggy from your slumber. 
“Y/N? I’m sorry I woke you up, didn’t I? It’s—,” 
“Taehyung, I know. What happened this time?” you sighed deeply, rubbing your face with your free hand. “Where are you guys?” 
“He got into an argument with this guy, and well, it led to a fight. He’s bruised, bleeding, but he refuses to go to a hospital, but—,” 
“Hey! Is that Y/N? I told you not to call her, Park Jimin!” you could hear Taehyung’s voice in the background which made you sigh once more. Moments later, it was Taehyung who was on the call with you. “Y/N, sorry. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Jimin’s just a worry wart.” 
“Taehyung,” you were tired and it was evident in your tone. “Go to the hospital if you’re bleeding. It might get infected.” 
“I can’t,” he replied. “Mom is going to find out. It’s a small world, you know that,” his tone was low, cautious, as though he did not want anyone else hearing him. “I’m fine. I’ll put on some ointment and band-aid and I’m good.” 
You wished you didn’t give a shit about him. But you did. Whether it was out of debt of gratitude or not, you wouldn’t be able to sleep if you didn’t help him. Perhaps, you had gotten so used to it that it had become a part of you already, like a hobby, like a memory. 
“Where are you, Taehyung?” 
“Y/N, seriously, I’m—,” 
“Taehyung, just tell me where you are,” your patience was wearing thin and Taehyung knew that. 
“We’re at Jungkook’s apartment,” he muttered. 
Even the mention of his name was enough for the butterflies in your stomach to go crazy. Even by just hearing his name, your irritation seemed to slowly fade away. 
“Okay. I’ll be there in a while. I’m gonna use your car, okay?” 
“Okay. Y/N, I’m sorry,” Taehyung apologized and you could hear his sincerity. 
“Don’t be,” you told him as you stood up from your chair. “See you. I’ll hang up now.” 
Just how deep does blood run? 
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You were at Jungkook’s apartment minutes later, thanks to no traffic and him only living fifteen minutes from Taehyung’s condominium. When you rang the bell to his unit, you already expected that he would be the one to answer the door. You just didn’t expect that he would be wearing gray sweatpants and a white loose muscle tee showing off his toned tattooed arm. Seeing him in that light, you couldn’t help but feel more attracted to him. Jungkook was truly a sight to see. 
“Hey,” he greeted you with a smile. “Come inside.” 
“Thanks,” you told him, entering his apartment. It was simple, neat, and smelled of vanilla. You took off your shoes by the doorway, placing a hand on the wall beside you. “Where’s Taehyung?” 
“Kitchen,” he replied behind you. “Y/N,” his hot breath fanned over your exposed neck, making you shiver. “I’ll linger around you, alright? That way, they could get a hint that something’s going on with us. Is that okay?” he whispered. 
His low tone was simply mesmerizing. “Okay,” you breathed out. Thank god you had your hand on that wall otherwise you would have literally fallen. 
“Okay,” he chuckled, and led the way to the kitchen. 
“Y/N!” Taehyung exclaimed when he saw you. He was sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen island while Jimin looked through the refrigerator. 
You gave him a tight-lipped smile and made your way toward him, placing the plastic bag you hand in your hand on the counter beside you. Taehyung jumped off the stool he was sitting on, instantly giving you a squeezing hug. He was always an affectionate boy growing up. You weren’t so you found it uncomfortable at first. But the more Taehyung did it, you got used to it. 
“Let me see your bruise,” you guided him back to the stool, and began taking out the first aid you bought along the way. The bruise wasn’t as serious as you thought it would be. You were expecting that he would have a black eye, a deep cut that would need stitches, but it was manageable by you. Jimin was overreacting, you concluded. “What happened? How did you get this?” 
As you began to clean the cut on Taehyung’s cheek, Jimin sat down across from your cousin while Jungkook made his way near you. 
“One minute I was dancing next to some girl, the next, her boyfriend landed a punch on my face. I didn’t know she had a boyfriend—she told me she was single,” Taehyung explained. 
“Didn’t know my ass,” Jimin scoffed. “Everyone knows Heejin is with Taemin. Everyone also knows that Taemin’s a crazy jealous bastard. You were just looking for trouble, as always.” 
“I was not,” your cousin retorted, throwing the medical tape you bought at his friend. 
You clicked your tongue in annoyance. “Stop it, you two,” you hissed, pressing the cotton ball a bit harder against Taehyung’s bruise. He winced. “Is that true?” you asked him. 
Taehyung didn’t answer. You sighed. 
“You knew it was wrong, and yet, you did it anyway knowing it’ll just get you in trouble,” you muttered. “Why did you do it?” 
Taehyung sighed deeply. “Because Taemin’s a piece of shit.” 
“You’re also a piece of shit,” Jimin snorted. “Both of you are the biggest pieces of shit at Jamsil.” 
“Do you wanna get punched?” 
“Let’s go right now,” 
“Hey, stop it. You’re so fucking loud,” Jungkook reprimands the two bickering men. “You already woke me up from my sleep by going here. Don’t wake up the entire fucking building.” 
Moments later, you finished tending to Taehyung’s cut. “All done. Come on, let’s go home.” 
Taehyun didn’t protest. You began to clean up your mess, placing everything back into the plastic bag. Silence filled Jungkook’s kitchen. The three of you weren’t close so there were no conversations where all of you could participate. 
“Let’s go,” you bowed your head at Jimin as a farewell which he returned. Then, your eye caught Jungkook’s gaze. You weren’t sure what to do. Fortunately, Jungkook was quick-witted. 
“I’ll walk you guys out,” he said coolly, pushing himself off of the sink he was leaning against. 
“No need. Just go back to sleep. Thanks for letting us in,” Taehyung shook his head, patting his best friend’s shoulder as he passed by him. 
“I insist,” Jungkook responded. 
“Can I stay here tonight?” Jimin asked Jungkook as he made his way out of the kitchen. 
“Yeah sure,” 
You followed Jungkook and Taehyung out of the former’s apartment. As you and your cousin slipped on your shoes, Jungkook waited outside his apartment. 
“Are you mad at me?” Taehyung asked, meeting your gaze. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” 
“I’m not mad at you,” you assured him. “But you have to stop involving and getting yourself into trouble, Tae. Sooner or later, you’ll end up getting really hurt.” 
“I will, I promise,” he smiled at you and you nodded, exiting the apartment. 
The three of you walked down the hallway; the two boys walking on your sides. You weren’t sure if Jungkook was consciously doing it, but it was making your heart pound. Whenever your fingers brushed against his, there was an electric shock that flew through your body. And as you reached the end of the hallway and in front of the elevator, and when the doors opened, Jungkook placed his hand at your lower back, gesturing you to enter the lift first. 
You looked at him, and there was a knowing smile plastered on his face that made you blush. “After you,” he said. 
You were fucking lovestruck. 
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Championships cast a spell in your school. Jamsil University’s premier sport was basketball and with an all-star lineup this year—it was not even up for discussion that your university would be one of the teams playing out to become this year’s champions.
To say the least, sports were not your thing. While you understood the basics, it wasn’t something you were interested in. Your father had enrolled you in a tennis class once but after witnessing how, simply out, awful you are at the sports, he dropped the ‘I want my daughter to be athletic’ narrative he was going for. That being said, you rarely attended any of the games Jamsil athletes participated in. But seeing as you were assigned to cover the basketball games this season, you had no other choice. Besides, your “boyfriend” was playing. 
That’s how you found yourself at the gym of Jamsil, stressed as you took pictures and typed down the game on your phone. Frustrated, you sat on the bench behind you as the bell rang, signaling the end of the first half. As you read the draft on your notepad, you shook your head at the numerous times you used the word ‘tackle’—in your defense, it was all that you could see during the game. It was a particularly brutal game which made you wonder, was the game something more personal for the players? You only heard rumors, after all.
With a sigh, you made a mental note to fix the notes once you’re home. Standing up, you placed the phone inside your jeans’ back pocket and readied the Times’ camera to capture the ‘Half-time huddle’ that Bang Chan, the Sports Editor, had specifically asked you to take. As you made your way towards the basketball team, you took some shots of the audience as well as the Jamsil’s Cheerleading Team performing in the middle of the court. The blaring music and loud cheers from both schools as the cheerleaders performed filled the entire gymnasium, unconsciously making you smile. It was not everyday that you saw some sort of unity at your uni.
You focused your camera on the huddled team of Jamsil but dissatisfied, you tried another angle. Bang Chan’s words play in your mind: “The half-time huddle is one of the most important shots during these games, Y/N. The play they’re setting up will either make them or break them. Make sure you capture it.”
Then, the idea hit you. You hurriedly made your way on the other side of the team, hearing Coach Song’s booming voice telling his players the game even with all the screaming and cheers. You moved the towels and water bottles on the bench aside, then you stepped on it and placed the camera above the huddled team. Smiling, you knew you found the perfect angle. Making sure that the camera was focused, you inhaled deeply and as you were about to click the shutter button—a face turned to face the lens and a gasp escaped your lips, shocked and you felt yourself losing balance. Bracing for impact, you clutched the camera tightly against your chest and closed your eyes with one thing in mind: If this breaks, I am so screwed.
It felt like eternity as you waited for the impact. Opening your eyes, you see a pair of round brown eyes, staring at you in concern, eyebrows furrowed. Your breath hitched in your throat as realization hit you. Around your waist, you felt strong arms supporting you; hot breath fanned your face and you felt something liquid dripping on your forehead.
“Y/N, are you okay?” When he spoke, you immediately snapped back to reality and you wriggled yourself out of his grip—flustered and ground-swallow-me-up embarrassed. Your cheeks were burning as you collected yourself. “Y/N?”
It was as if the entire gymnasium had their focus on you and Jungkook. 
“Jeon, what the fuck, get back here,” Coach Song hissed.
Fuck me, you thought as you cleared your throat. “Thanks,” you whispered to him. 
Jungkook smiled—the boyishly charming smile that made you fall in love with him all those years ago. Then, he did something that made you fall in love with him all over again. 
“Wish me luck, babe,” Jungkook said before wrapping his tattooed arm around your waist and placing a kiss on your cheek. “The game’s on, Y/N. No turning back now.” 
You wished this was real. His kiss was real. But even if it wasn’t, indeed, there was no turning back now. The game had begun. 
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PART TWO
As predicted and expected, Jamsil won the championship. But instead of the student body celebrating the fourth championship in a row, apparently, the majority could only talk about you and Jungkook—specifically the kiss he gave you on the cheek. You had expected this, of course. After all, Jeon Jungkook was Jamsil University’s golden boy. He was popular, smart, and overall, an exemplary student who not only excelled in his sports, but in his academics as well. Moreover, he was also the president of the photography club. 
What you didn’t expect was Taehyung lashing out at you. You expected him to be confused, baffled, in disbelief, but lashing out at you? You were confused, to say the least. Taehyung had never done it before. 
After finishing covering the basketball game, you hurriedly made your way back to the Publication Office. Once there, you took off the camera around your neck, breathing heavily. With both your hands on your table, you hung your head low, squeezing your eyes shut, and letting yourself calm down. It was during this moment that the door at the office swung open and your cousin stepped in. 
You looked at him over your shoulder and for the first time, you saw fury in his eyes. 
“You’re dating Jungkook?” He asked. “Tell me the truth.” 
With your lips pressed tightly, you nodded. Taehyung scoffed, tilting his head to the side, and shaking it in disbelief. 
“Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N? You and Jungkook?” He pressed, taking a step towards you. “When did it start? How did it start? Why are you dating him?” 
“I don’t really need to explain myself to you, Taehyung,” you told him. “Especially who I’m dating.” 
“Yes, you do. You need to explain that to me,” he retorted. 
“Why? Why do I need to explain it to you?” 
“Because you’re dating my fucking best friend and you’re my cousin!” He exclaimed, catching you off guard as you flinched. When he saw this, Taehyung’s eyes softened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you. I just—I don’t get it.” 
“What don’t you get?” you asked, turning to completely face him. “Why someone like me is with someone like him?” 
“Y/N, that’s not what I mean,” Taehyung sighed deeply. “I just feel like—like the two most important people in my life betrayed me.” 
You exhaled deeply. In a way, you could understand him. You could understand where he was coming from. But before you could respond, Jungkook appeared by the doorway of the office. 
“Don’t get mad at her, Tae, it’s my fault for not telling you first,” Jungkook said. He was still in his jersey, covered in sweat, and one hand holding a bottle of red Gatorade. There was a towel hanging around his neck. He walked towards you, and when he stood beside you, he held your hand. “I’m sorry if you feel like we betrayed you. We just wanted to find the right time to tell you.” 
“Right time,” Taehyung scoffed once more. “It didn’t look like it when you kissed her.” 
Jungkook squeezed your hand. It sent a jolt throughout your body. “What was I supposed to do? My girlfriend was there,” Jungkook’s response only riled Taehyung more. Upon seeing this, the basketball player said, “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. But there’s nothing you could do or say that could make us break up, Tae. I’m sorry but you’re just gonna have to deal with it.” 
“Can you fucking leave? I need to talk to Y/N privately,” Taehyung hissed, rolling his eyes. 
This time, you cut Jungkook before he could reply. “It’s okay, Jungkook. I’ll see you after.” You looked at your fake boyfriend, smiling at him. 
Jungkook looked like he didn’t want to leave so you squeezed his hand. He clicked his tongue, sighing. “I’ll change and meet you outside the building.” It wasn’t a question but a statement. 
You nodded and once again, he pressed his lips against your cheek, making you blush but now, out of embarrassment because your cousin was literally in front of you. Taehyung groaned, throwing his head back. “Leave, Jeon Jungkook!” He exclaimed, pulling him off of you. 
Jungkook chuckled before making his way out of the office. 
Once he was out of earshot, Taehyung stepped closer towards you. “Y/N, you’re right—who you date is not something I should mind or dictate. But you’re my cousin and I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt. Jungkook—he’s my best friend in the world and has been since we were little. I know him. So, the two of you together—I just can’t accept it.” 
You didn’t know why you were feeling angry as the seconds passed. “We’re not asking for your blessing, Taehyung.” 
“Y/N, you don’t understand. Jungkook may be charming and all that goody two shoes shit in front of everyone, but he’s trouble. You’re only setting yourself up for a lifetime of heartbreak,” your cousin shook his head. “Please. Date whoever you want; not just Jungkook.” 
“I made up my mind, Tae,” you said, shaking your head. “I want to be with him and you can’t do anything about it. I’m gonna go home. I’m tired and exhausted. I know you’ll be going to the afterparty so please don’t get yourself into trouble. Take care, Tae.” 
“Y/N,” he called out but you didn’t respond anymore. You just packed up your things. “Y/N, please.” 
“See you at home, Tae,” you gave him a small smile before leaving the office. 
Why was he so adamant that you don’t date Jeon Jungkook? This question popped in your head as you were making your way out of the Communications building. But you erased it in your mind—Taehyung was just shocked, probably weirded out too that his best friend and cousin were dating. 
Why is he trouble? Another question propped in your mind. 
You sighed deeply. All these questions would be answered when you meet with Jungkook as you made a mental note to ask him. For now, you just wanted to rest. 
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The buzzing sound of your phone vibrating against your desk woke you up from your slumber. With a groan, you sat up, stretching your arms wide, cracking your neck, and letting out a relieved sigh. You didn’t know when you fell asleep, but the last thing you remembered was fixing your planner. When you looked at the caller ID, Jungkook’s name flashed on the screen. For a moment, you were confused why he was calling you, and then it hit you. 
I’ll change and meet you outside the building. 
You quickly answered the call. “Jungkook, hey.” 
“Y/N, are you okay? I waited for you outside the Comm building, but Taehyung said you went home. I’ve been trying to reach you,” Jungkook sounded concerned, in contrast to the sound of cheering and music in the background. He must have been at the afterparty already, you concluded. 
“I’m okay,” you assured him. “I’m sorry. I was just tired so I went home. Are you at the afterparty?” 
“Yeah,” he replied. “The guys dragged me to it, but it’s not really fun. Or maybe I’m just not in the mood. I’m glad you’re okay though. I was worried.” 
Your heart fluttered yet again. 
“I’m okay. Have fun at the afterparty,” you said, rubbing your eye with your knuckle. 
“Y/N, I was hoping you could come tonight, here, at the afterparty, and start our agreement.” 
Just like that, you were reminded of reality. 
“Oh,” you replied, hoping you didn’t sound disappointed. “Um, I don’t know where that is.” 
It was common knowledge that invitations for after parties at Jamsil for championships were only through word of mouth. Not everyone was invited. The only reason you knew of the location of the last three after parties were because of, again, your cousin Taehyung. 
“It’s okay, I’ll come pick you up.” 
“I don’t know what I should wear. I don’t go to a lot of parties,” you said, playing with the loose thread on the hem of the shirt you were wearing. It was a habit of yours whenever you were nervous—you needed to play with something whether it was your necklace, earrings, rings, sleeves, etcetera. 
“It doesn’t matter. You look good in everything, Y/N. I’m serious,” Jungkook responded. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, okay? Don’t worry too much about what to wear. Just wear what’s comfortable.” 
“Okay. Drive safely, Jungkook.” 
When the phone call ended, you were reminded of what tonight would be, and gone were the worries about what you should wear. Tonight was going to be the night you were going to officially begin helping Jungkook take his revenge on Haemin. You felt like throwing up. 
You were hit by the reality, once again, of what this agreement was about. Jungkook wasn’t being sweet to you because he wanted to but because he needed to. He wasn’t inviting you to the afterparty because he wanted to but because he needed to. He was only talking to you because he was paying you. It was time for you to take things at face value. With that in mind, you began to change. 
True to his word, Jungkook arrived fifteen minutes later. It was a whiplash when you saw him at the door, waiting for you instead of your cousin. Wearing a white Calvin Klein shirt tucked under his washed jeans, black combat boots, and his curly hair parted in the middle, he was nothing short of beauty even in the simplicity of his attire. In one hand, he was clutching a denim jacket. 
“Hey,” he greeted as soon as you opened the door. “You look great, Y/N.” 
You suppressed the urge to smile and just nodded. Stepping outside of Taehyung’s condominium unit, you avoided his gaze. “Let’s go.” 
“Is everything okay?” he asked. 
You nodded, clutching the strap of your messenger bag. “Everything’s fine. Let’s just go. Where’s the afterparty anyway?” 
“Y/N,” Jungkook’s hand found its way gently around your wrist, stopping you on your tracks. “Seriously, what’s wrong?” 
“Nothing’s wrong, Jungkook. I just really wanna get over this,” you said with a sigh. 
“I don’t believe you,” he pointed out, still holding onto your wrist. “We don’t have to go to the afterparty if you don’t want to.” 
“No, let’s go. Otherwise, how will you make Haemin jealous?” you stated, plastering a smile on your face even though you were anything but happy. “The sooner she gets jealous, the sooner she will want to be with you again, and the sooner I’ll get my deposit, and move out from here. The sooner everyone wins.” 
There was an indescribable expression on Jungkook’s face. Although his grip on your wrist remained gentle, you could feel the tension brewing between the both of you. 
“You’re right,” he muttered after a while. “Let’s get this over with.” 
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As expected, the afterparty was at a club. You hadn’t been to one but it was exactly as you expected a club to be. Packed with dancing college students, drinks everywhere, smoke in the air, suffocating you the moment you entered the establishment, blinding red, blue, green lights, and booming EDM and Top 40 hits songs blasting on the speakers. Jungkook led the way, holding your hand tightly, and you held his just as tight. You didn’t know where he was taking you, but you guessed that it was where Haemin would be. After all, she was the reason why you were here. 
So, it was a surprise when you passed by her and her friends, and toward the staircase. 
“Jungkook! Where are we going?!” you yelled over the loud music. . 
Jungkook didn’t respond, but you knew that he heard you because he pulled you closer to him. And you let him lead you because it was him. You’d let him lead you anywhere if it meant being this close to him. Because no matter what you tell yourself—that this was all fake and pretend and paid—a part of you would always, always believe that he, in some way, reciprocated your feelings sincerely. 
Jungkook passed by the people greeting him along the way until, finally, you reached the empty rooftop. Overlooking the city and its skylines, it was simply breathtaking. There were only broken benches, bottles of beers and discarded cigarette buds on the rooftop along with cracked pots of withered flowers. Here, Jungkook let go of your hand, reached for something from his denim jacket’s pocket—a pack of cigarette and lighter—and offered it to you. 
“I don’t smoke,” you simply stated. It was news to you that he smoked. You knew athletes were forbidden due to health reasons, but you weren’t also naive that you didn’t think some did. 
He nodded, picked one from the box, placed it in between his lips, lit it up, and began to smoke. You took a deep breath, and made your way toward the edge of the rooftop. Moments later, Jungkook was beside you. 
“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” he said, the smell of cigarette strong, making you nauseous. But you didn’t tell him that. 
You thought hard. Jungkook knew nothing about you besides being Taehyung’s cousin. It shouldn’t be that hard but it was, for some reason. And so, you said, “There’s really not much that you should know.” 
To which he replied, “Oh, come on, there must be something,” He nudged your side slightly, letting out a chuckle as he took a long drag. “Don’t think too hard. Just tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.” 
And so, you did. Before you knew it, you said, “I haven’t had my first kiss yet.” 
“Seriously?” Jungkook asked, but it wasn’t in the disgusted, you’re-in-your-twenties-and-yet-you-haven’t-kissed-somebody kind of way. It was more of a genuine shock. Like it was the hardest thing in the world to believe in.  
You chuckled, nodding. “I don’t know. I just feel weird about it.” 
“But were there any instances where you came close to kissing somebody?” he pressed, flicking his cigarette. 
“Of course, but when it came to it, I just couldn’t. It just didn’t feel…” you trailed off, unsure of what the right word was. 
“Right?” Jungkook suggested and you nodded. “I see.” 
“How about you?” you asked. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.” 
“I want to be somebody’s first kiss, and that somebody happens to be you.” 
He was the only one who could do it—cause your heart to do somersaults inside you while also making it beat so fast that you were afraid he would hear it. It was the way he stared at you at that moment, eyes flickering from your eyes which reflected the cityscape below you and the smoke from his cigarette to your parted lips, unsure of what to say from his revelation. 
“Do you think it’d feel right if I kiss you, Y/N?” 
And like always, your mind and heart screamed: this was Jungkook. Who else would you want to be your first kiss? Since you were thirteen, you had been in love with him. You only imagined this in your head, in your wildest dreams. 
And so, you nodded, afraid that if you spoke, no words would leave. 
Jungkook nodded too, and he crushed his cigarette on top of the edge of the rooftop. He stepped towards you, cupped your face, and for a moment, the world stood still. Closing your eyes, you waited for his lips to crash onto yours. 
And when it finally did, it was nothing that you had ever imagined. 
No sparks. 
No fireworks. 
It was simple, mundane, ordinary—it was a kiss. 
You held onto Jungkook’s wrists as he deepened the kiss, and yet, there were still none of the romantic aspects that you thought would happen during your first kiss. Even when Jungkook moved his hands from your face and around your waist, nothing. It tasted so bitter due to the mix of nicotine and beer that he had. 
But you didn’t mind. You were kissing Jeon Jungkook, your fake boyfriend, at a party, where all his peers were. And for that, your first kiss was still memorable. 
Oh, how Jeon Jungkook twisted your world. 
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PART THREE
You had no recollection whatsoever of what happened last night; much less how you got back to your shared condominium unit with Taehyung. But if you were to guess, your cousin probably brought you home as you vaguely remembered him being at the afterparty—much to his chagrin that you came with his best friend. Other moments were like missing puzzle pieces. You only remembered flashes, and you groaned when you felt the throbbing in your temple became stronger. 
Usually, you could hold your liquor better than this. In fact, this was the first time, in a long while, that you could remember having a hangover. Your mother was your drinking buddy—started drinking with you when you were a junior in high school, and although she shouldn’t have done that, you didn’t mind. Your mother was a great mother. Your mother was your best friend. Your mother was a great parent. Yes, she had her shortcomings, but who didn’t? Certainly not you. You remembered the first time she asked you to try Soju, and subconsciously, it brought a smile to your face, and a low chuckle to escape your lips. You made a mental note to text her later.  
As you left your bed, there was a knock on your bedroom door. Knowing it was your cousin, you told him to come in while you fixed your bed, and looked for your phone in the process. 
“Your phone’s in your bag,” Taehyung muttered as he stepped inside your room, and leaned against the wall of the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. “I brought you home too. Jungkook wanted to, but he rode a motorcycle, and you were wasted. It wasn’t safe.” 
You nodded in understanding. You figured out that much. Like what Taehyung said, your phone was indeed inside your bag. Quickly, you unlocked it, and checked your notifications. Some were just annoying spam emails, app notifications, and automated messages from your SIM provider, but there was one message that made your heart beat quickly due to panic that you didn’t even notice Jungkook’s message. 
“Y/N, I need to talk to you,” Taehyung said. 
“We will talk, but not right now, I’m late for my tutoring session, Tae,” you hurriedly told him as you texted your tutee that you would be late, but that you would come since it was his midterms next week. 
“Y/N, I’m serious. I still don’t approve of you and Jungkook dating.” 
You should have expected this. In the years you spent with Taehyung, you should have known that he wasn’t the type of person who could accept “no” as an answer, and not getting what he wanted when and if he wanted it. You thought it only applied to everything else in his life; apparently, it also applied to your dating life. 
“Taehyung, haven’t we gotten over this? Who I date is not yours to dictate,” you shook your head, sighing deeply as you gathered everything you needed for your quick shower. You were definitely not going to attend your tutoring session dressed from last night, and smelling like beer and nicotine. 
“Jungkook’s a piece of shit as a boyfriend, Y/N. He’s crazy possessive and he gets so fucking jealous. His charming persona is just that—a persona. I don’t want you to get hurt by him, Y/N, please.” 
The desperation in his voice was evidently obvious. When you looked at him, you were unsure of what to say. How could he say that to his own best friend? 
“If he’s like that—,” 
“He is like that,” 
“Then why are you still friends with him?” you asked, pointedly. When Taehyung couldn’t give you an answer, you nodded. “Right. I thought so. I’m going now, Tae. This conversation is over.” 
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When you arrived at Jamsil’s library, you were forty five minutes late to your session with Yang Jungwon, a freshman from your program, Journalism with a major in Investigative Reporting. You found him in your usual spot, writing away on his yellow pad while nodding his head along the music he was listening to. Inhaling deeply, you made your way toward him. When you were finally near him, you tapped on his shoulder, causing him to jump a little, but when he saw you—his deep dimpled smile appeared on his face. 
Yang Jungwon was like the little brother you never had but wished you had. You felt bad for thinking that way because you had Taehyung, but as stated, looking after him felt more like a responsibility you had no other choice but to take upon. With Jungwon, even though you were paid to help him with his studies, it never felt like a responsibility to you. You enjoyed spending time with him, helping him out, and sometimes, if the conversation steered into the direction, you enjoyed your deep and meaningful conversations with him. 
You smiled back at him, and took the seat beside him, sitting on it. “I’m so sorry I’m late, Jungwon. You can tell your mom that she doesn’t need to pay me for this session.” 
He shook his head. “No, noona. It’s okay. I didn’t mind the waiting. I got to use it to answer your mock tests.” 
“Really? Let me see. What did you answer first?” you asked, taking your messenger bag off of your shoulder, placing it on the table. 
“The Contemp—,” Jungwon began to say, but then he stopped, which caused you to tear your gaze away from the mock test in your hands, and to your tutee. You followed his gaze, and to your surprise, you saw Jungkook sitting across from you and Jungwon with a gentle smile on his face. He had his lip ring on—it was the first thing you noticed about him that day. 
“Jungkook, what are you doing here?” you asked, swallowing the lump in your throat. Why did it feel like you were caught doing something you weren’t supposed to do? Why did you suddenly feel anxious? 
Taehyung’s words rang in your ears: He’s crazy possessive. His charming persona is just that—a persona. 
Was all of it true? Was that the reason why he was here? Because you were with another guy? 
“I guess you didn’t read my message, babe,” he chuckled. “I told you not to buy lunch anymore because I cooked some for you. Here, you can share it with your friend…” he trailed off, politely smiling at Jungwon. 
“H-Hello, I’m Yang Jungwon,” Jungwon stammered, starstruck that Jamsil’s golden boy was talking to him. 
“Hello, Jungwon. It’s nice to meet you. You can just call me hyung,” Jungkook turned to you. “I’ll get going now, okay?” He pushed the lunch box towards you. “Eat. There’s hangover soup in there too.” 
You gave him a look to which he grinned at. “Ah, don’t worry, Jungwon. She can tutor you even though she’s dr—,” 
“Okay, thank you, Jeon Jungkook,” you interrupted him, making his grin wider. You shook your head at him, but you couldn’t hide the blush coating your cheeks from his sweet gesture. Then, you wondered, as Jungkook took his leave, did he do the same thing to Haemin? 
“I didn’t know you and Jeon Jungkook hyung are dating,” Jungwon brought you out of your trance, gaze finally now upon him rather than the absent figure of Jungkook. 
“Yeah, it just happened,” you said to him. “But come on, let’s focus on your mock tests.” 
Yet despite saying that, you were the one who couldn’t focus because the only thing in your mind was: how did Jungkook know you were at the library? 
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Taehyung’s words plagued your mind the entire day. Even while you were working, all you could think about was his words about his best friend. How could he say those things about Jungkook? Someone he’d been best friends with since they were little? Why was he so adamant about you not dating him? Taehyung usually kept a distance from your personal life, not even asking about your mother because he knew of the complicated relationship your family had with his family. So, why was he all over your case now that you were “dating” Jungkook? You couldn’t understand. You couldn’t wrap your head around it. 
Although you confirmed with the library interaction that Jungkook wasn’t the possessive type, seeing as he just walked away after giving you the lunch box, and even let Jungwon call him hyung, there was still that nagging thought in your mind: what if Taehyung’s word held weight? What if they were true? 
You thought about it: if they were true, even when you were only fake dating, would he still be as possessive as Taehyung said he was? What happened for your cousin to even tell you something like that?  
Your thoughts were put on a halt when your manager called for your name. You worked as a part-time waitress at a restaurant called Rado. You used to be a full-time employee, but since you were in your last year of uni, you asked if you could still be employed on a part-time basis, and fortunately, your manager, Han Somin, agreed. 
“Yes, Ms. Han?” you asked as you entered her small office inside the employees’ locker room. 
“Y/N, hi, come inside, I just have something to tell you,” she said, taking her eyeglasses off, and kindly smiling at you. You nodded and did as told. “It’s nothing serious,” she continued, which alleviated the nerves sinking in your bones. “I just wanted to ask if you wanted to be part of this party we’re catering to on Saturday. It’s a listening party for an artist named J-Hope; he released a new album. Maybe you’ve heard of him.” 
You shook your head. “No, Ms. Han. But I’d love to be part of the staff. Where would it be held?” 
“It’ll be held at his label’s function room. I’ll send you the details, alright?” You nodded, then she dismissed you, and went back to work. 
Money had always been a sensitive topic for you. Growing up, you knew that you didn’t have a lot but you were comfortable due to both of your parents’ wages. Your father was a simple office man while your mother had her own small flower shop. They were able to provide for your basic needs and wants but when your father passed away—your mother’s earnings at the flower shop weren’t sustainable. Hence, at an early age, you learned how to look for jobs, and learned the value of money and earning it. Hence, the reason why, besides loving Jungkook all your life, you simply could not half-ass fake dating him because it was innate in you that when you do a job, you give it your hundred percent. 
Part of you wished you didn’t have to worry about your finances. That, like other students at Jamsil, you could have fun and enjoy college life without worrying if you would still have a roof over your head eve though you failed an exam or if you would still be able to eat the next day if you buy a food late at night because you were so hungry that you couldn’t sleep. 
Having money meant having freedom to do all the things that you wanted to do—and you weren’t free. Not yet, anyway, but moving to your own place was a start. That’s why no matter what people say, you would see fake dating Jeon Jungkook through because whether you liked it or not—he was the key to your freedom. 
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Saturday rolled around quickly. Adorned in your Rado’s uniform—a simple white linen long sleeve polo shirt, black slacks, black high heels, and your hair pulled back to show your face—you were already at the label’s function room preparing for the listening party of J-Hope. His music had been playing since you got there and you felt yourself being immersed and vibing to it that you made a mental note to check his other songs out afterwards. 
You were in charge of the food and drinks. Ms. Han was also present to supervise and with you was your co-worker, Kang Seulgi, and Kim Hanbin. It was an intimate type of party; hence, the small group of staff and catering. 
“I wonder who we’ll see here,” Seulgi told you as she placed the food fingers on the table while you poured drinks into the glasses. 
“I heard it’s just indie artists that J-Hope invited. It’s the target audience for his album, you see,” Hanbin piped in, fixing his necktie. 
“Whoever it is, I’m sure—,” 
“Kim Y/N, it’s nice to see you here,” 
You only heard that voice a couple of times but you wouldn’t mistake it for another. It was ingrained in your mind so deeply. It was the voice of the person you hoped was you for a long time—who got to touch, kiss, hug, care, and love Jeon Jungkook for four years. It was the voice of the person who was Jeon Jungkook’s first love, and most likely still loved. It was the voice of the person that was never going to be you in his life. It was the voice of: 
“Lee Haemin.” 
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PART FOUR (a sneak peek)
“Lee Haemin.” 
In one word, she was beautiful. Dressed in a small black dress with thin straps and a pair of black heels, her silky black hair pulled back, showing off her idol-like face, Lee Haemin was just a sight to behold. Smiling at you, she took a step forward. 
“Is it okay if we talk?” she asked. 
As though you were hypnotized, you nodded wordlessly. A part of you already knew what the talk would be, or at least that’s what you thought. Nodding back, Haemin smiled at Seulgi and Hanbin before leading you out of the function room and somewhere more private. She opened a door leading to what seemed like the conference room, and gestured that you enter first so you did. She followed in suit, and you took a short time to look at your surroundings. 
It was all white with an oval table in the middle and black swivel chairs surrounding it. Adjacent to you were the ceiling to floor windows, showcasing the city landscape. Connected at the top was a projector and on the left side was a projector screen. You wondered how Haemin got access to such room, and as though reading your mind, she said: 
“My family owns a stock, if you’re wondering why I got access to this room. We can pretty much use any room in the company.”
Nodding your head, you turned to face her. “I see. That’s great. I didn’t know that.” 
“Not many people do,” she answered. “But that isn’t really why I wanted to talk to you.” 
“I know,” you replied. “You wanna talk about Jeon Jungkook.” 
Haemin smiled. “I heard you’re dating him.” 
“From who? Taehyung?” You knew they were friends. Not exactly close, but they were acquainted due to Jungkook. 
She shook her head. “From Jungkook." Stunned, your mouth parted ways a little. Haemin smiled. "Surprising, I know, but it truly was him who told me that he was with you." 
"Why would he say that to you?" 
"Because he loved me first." 
And it was the truth. The truth hurts but it was the truth nevertheless. You weren't the first person he ever loved, ever had a deep and humane connection with. Everything about your relationship was a lie, a cover up. Theirs was true and real. Jungkook loved Haemin; not you.
Forcing a smile upon your face, you answered, “He loves me now. I don’t see the point of having this conversation, to be honest.”
“No, he doesn’t love you, Y/N. He wants you. Those two things are different,” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Hence, Haemin continued, “Loving someone lights up your world. Wanting someone, now that’s a different thing. To want something is to own it.” 
“And your point? Jungkook wants to own me?” Even your words sent shivers down your spine. You loved Jungkook since you could remember. But did you want him to own you? 
“Yes,” she replied. “Jungkook’s the type of person who gets and gets and gets and never likes to not have what he wants, what he needs. I’m telling you all these because prior to him dating you,” she smiled when she said ‘dating’ as though she knew it was only fake. “He lost me. Now he’s trying to get you to get me back, to own me again. But I don’t want that anymore. I don’t love him anymore. Don’t trap yourself. Get out as early as you can.” 
You didn’t know what to say. So, you did the only thing you could do: walk away. But then Haemin called your name, and you stopped on your tracks, looking at her over your shoulder. “Don’t let love blind you, Y/N. I know you’ve loved him for years, but he’s only going to break you—mind, body, soul.” 
“Thank you for the advice, Haemin,” you told her. “But I didn’t need it. Please respect my relationship with Jungkook. Thank you and enjoy the night away.”
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author’s note: hey guys. again, so sorry for deactivating all of a sudden. i know this isn’t much but i hope having a sneak peek into chapter four brought you a bit of joy and excitement. feel free to send me asks regarding burnout and other things. see you in price of freedom next. i’ll be posting it again on tumblr for easy viewing but it’ll also be on hold for the time being. thank you and much love, aika. 
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btsugarush · 5 months
Text
GANGSTA | myg - 004
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
word count: 3.5K
authors note: yes, it is here. it only took me 76 years lmao. y’all best give me all the love since y’all wanted to be on my ass about this mf. anyway, enjoy the drama. also this was prewritren with the tags a long time ago so if you no longer wanted to be tagged or if you’re new and wanted to be tagged i’m sorry. the taglist got full but i try to switch out who i tag every chapter.
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“Now, are you sure you’re okay? I can personally file a report for you.” Mr. Kim asked for the 6th time. You roll your eyes, fed up with the badgering. You didn’t understand why he cared so much anyway. He was the one that refused to listen to you when you tried to explain why it wouldn’t be a great idea for you to deliver in Gongdan.
You didn’t go into detail about the assault, or even bother to mention Yoongi being the reason it didn’t escalate. You simply just stated to him that you were attacked and managed to slip free.
Luckily for you though, the old man’s guilt for the attack led him to giving you the rest of the day off and you snatched that offer up immediately. Not like he needed your assistance, seeing as the restaurant was practically dead with only about 4 customers. “I’m fine, Mr. Kim. I promise.” You assure him one last time. “Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” You exit the shop, the door dinging as you do. You spot Mina’s car sitting in front of the restaurant, and she smiles cheerfully as you climb inside. “Hey. Thanks for picking me up so early.” You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “No problem… But why am I picking you up so early? And…” she leans forward, peaking at your ripped shirt. “Why is your shirt ripped?”
You scratch your head, the thought of explaining the situation to Mina made your brain itch. “I had to deliver at the Devil’s playground again, and got attacked.” You kept it short and sweet. Mina’s eyes widened in shock. “What?! Was it that Yoongi guy again?!”
You shake your head. “It wasn’t him, it was this group of guys. Yoongi was actually the one that saved me…” you twiddle with your fingers as your mind wanders about the raven. Mina arches a brow at the gentleness in your voice. “He saved you?” You nod slowly in response. “My god, what does he expect from you now? Sexual favors?”
Of course Mina has to be the most dramatic and think the worst possible thought of everything. “No, he didn’t ask me for any favors. Which I guess is surprising for someone with his track record.” You admit, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Mina starts up the car, finally moving from the restaurant premises. “Please don’t tell me you’re buddy buddy with that thug now?”
You scoff, letting your eyes roll back. “Of course not! The guy is a criminal, and stalker. I’d never befriend him,” You argue, crossing your arms. Yoongi may have saved you, but you weren’t swayed by his heroic charm. “Anyway, enough about me and my shitty day, it’s too traumatic to talk about. Did you have a talk with Jin like I suggested?” You change the subject. Mina’s face drops at the mention of her boyfriend’s name. “Yeah, we talked for about 2 minutes before it all blew up. Now we’re not on speaking terms,” She sighs. “I think maybe I should break up with him…”
You frown. ‘There she goes being the most dramatic again…’
“Mina, don’t be so damn hasty all the time.” You try to reason with the blonde. “I’m not!” She defended herself. “I’m just tired, y/n. I’m tired of trying to figure him out. I’d rather break up with him before he breaks up with me.”
Mina had never been the girl to get her heart broken. In high school she was the one always doing the heart breaking, so you could tell that it genuinely killed her to love someone as much as she loved Jin, and not know where his head was at regarding their relationship. “I don’t know, Mina… I just know if I was in your shoes with Kookie, I’d try to work things out before I think of the worst possible outcome.”
Mina pouts, but she doesn’t continue to speak. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, you were right. She shouldn’t just jump the gun and break up with Jin. Although he was acting strangely and it was confusing the hell out of her. “You know… I’m jealous of your relationship with Kookie.” She suddenly blurts, causing you to turn to her with a raised brow. “Huh?”
“I’m jealous,” she repeats. “Of you and Jungkook.”
You tilt your head to the side, your eyebrows now scrunched in curiosity. “Why?”
Mina simply shrugs, sitting quietly for a couple of minutes before answering. “You two match, and have an unbeatable connection. You started off as best friends, which played in your favor. I met Jin in the hospital because he had a broken arm. We don’t have the history you and Jungkook have.”
You smile at the compliment towards your relationship, but quickly shake your head. “History isn’t everything. Some people marry their high school sweethearts and breakup. You and Seokjin just need to be mature– or you at least.” Mina whips her head in your direction, her brows furrowed. “What do you mean by ‘or you at least’?”
“I mean that sometimes you’re immature. You tend to freak out when things don’t go your way and storm off like a child.” Mina snarls. “I’m not immature.” She muttered to herself, practically proving your point. The car finally slows down in front of your apartment before coming to a complete stop. “Thanks for the ride again, Mina. I appreciate you.”
“Of course. I’m mature enough to pick up my best friend when she needs me.” She glares, your previous comment still not sitting well with her. You shake your head, paying no mind to her attitude. “Bye, Mina. I hope everything works out with Jin.” You pushed open the car door, climbing out.
“Yeah, you and me both.” She mutters her last words before she waits for you to close the car door, speeding off into the distance with you standing there to watch. You let out a sigh, shrugging. What was the point of her asking for your advice if she was always going to dislike what you had to say?
You turn on your heels, walking up the steps that lead to your building entrance. As you venture down the hall to your apartment, you spot a shaggy haired man placing a bouquet of flowers right in front of your front door. A smile forms your face as you see the one person you longed to see after such a horrendous experience. “Kookie?”
The brunette jumps slightly, your sudden appearance catching him off guard. Once he registers that it’s you, he smiles as well. “Well shit, I wanted to surprise you with something sweet when you got off. Guess that’s a fail.” He scratches the back of his neck, chuckling. You shake your head, instantly embracing him with a hug. “It’s not a fail. I’m so happy to see you.” Even though you pretty much talked on the phone with Jungkook everyday, it felt like you hadn’t seen him in weeks.
Jungkook’s tattooed arms wrap around your waist, returning your gentle embrace. “I’m happy to see you too, angel. What’re you doing home so early though? I thought you weren’t off till 8:00?”
You bit down on your bottom lip. You wanted to start crying right there just thinking about what almost happened to you today. You hadn’t told him about your trip to Gongdan yesterday because you didn’t want him to worry, but now you felt as though he deserved to know this time. “I got attacked today.” You take a step back, showing him your torn shirt. Jungkook looks down, dumbfounded at how he hadn’t clocked your ripped shirt when you first walked in.
“By who?!” He shouts. “If it was Yoongi and his gang I swear to god–”
You shush Jungkook, looking around to make sure none of your neighbors were in the hallway eavesdropping. “Let’s talk about this inside, okay?” The brunette is pissed, but he nods, awaiting for you to open your apartment door. He grabs the flowers from the floor as you dig through your purse for your key. ‘I really need to get a keychain for this thing," you thought, finally finding the piece of metal in your bag.
You open the door, and Jungkook wastes no time storming in. He places the flowers on your kitchen table, pulling out a chair for you to sit and explain yourself. Even though he was angry he still focused on your wellbeing. You close the door, unsure if you really wanted to recite the situation. Too late to change your mind now though.
You shuffle to the seat that Jungkook pulled out for you, plopping down. “So? Was it Yoongi’s doing?”
How do you even begin to explain all of this? Yes, but not really? While Yoongi was the reason you ended up in Gongdan, he isn’t the one that attacked you. But he has taken a weird interest in you ever since the Makoto showdown between you and his trusty stooge. If you told Jungkook that though, he'd just spend every moment trying to protect you and probably do something unnecessary to get himself hurt. You didn’t want that.
So, maybe it was best to embellish the truth a bit and leave Yoongi out of it.
“I had a delivery in Gongdan today. Jimin was out sick, and I was the only one that could deliver it. A group of guys attacked me on my way back to the restaurant.” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “You had a delivery at the devil’s playground and you took it? What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I had to do my job. I had no choice, Kookie. Mr. Kim wasn’t letting me out of it. Believe me, I tried.” The brunette scoffed, redirecting his anger to Mr. Kim. “I should go down there and kick that old man’s ass,” He muttered. Jungkook was never too fond of Mr. Kim. He thought the old man could be a bit misogynistic.
“Did they hurt you?” His voice is now more tender. You shook your head. “No. I’m fine,” You assure him. “The only thing that got hurt is my precious shirt.” You laugh a bit, trying to lighten the mood. “Did they just let you go? How’d you get free?” He pressed on.
“Umm…” you trail off, your thoughts once again wandering to the raven haired man.
“So Wonder Woman, you ready to accept that ride today?”
“They got scared off by someone that happened to be walking by. Lucky me, huh?”
Jungkook sighs smoothly, crouching down in front of your chair. He takes your hands in his, interlocking your fingers. “I’m glad you’re okay, y/n. I hate to know you experienced that and I wasn’t there.” He frowns, leering down at your hands. “Jungkook, you’re not gonna be able to be there for everything, and that’s okay. You’re here now, when I need you the most.”
Jungkook looks up at you. “And I’ll stay here.”
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“Please remind me to stop letting you pick out movies. You always pick the cheesiest ones.” Jungkook grimaced as you two reached the end of your movie. You wiped stray tears from your eyes, glaring over at your soon-to-be boyfriend. “The Princess Diaries is a classic. I love it.” Jungkook snorts, shaking his head. “Yeah, well next time I’m picking the movie. Your selection sucks.”
You gasp, taking a pillow from the other end of the couch. “Take that back.” You cock the pillow, ready to deliver a blow. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry… that you’re ass at picking movies.” You swing the pillow down on him, and his hands go up in self defense as he laughs, his back landing on the couch cushions to better protect his face. You take this advantage to straddle the brunette’s waist, continuing your attack until he ultimately surrenders. “Okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You finally toss the pillow back down to the end of the couch, a victory smirk plastered on your face. “I knew you’d see it my way.”
“Hard not to when I’m being attacked by a pillow.” He looks up at you, still straddling his waist. Jungkook’s hands slowly roam up your legs, stopping to grip your hips. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Your cheeks heated up with the compliment, and you felt a sudden wave of warmth between your legs that made you anxious. This was it. There was no better time than this to lose your virginity to Jungkook.
You lean forward, pressing your lips to his pierced ones, the metal was cold against you; Jungkook didn’t hold back, or hesitate the moment your lips were against his. Your mouths moved in sync, but sloppily at the same time as though you both wanted it real bad– and you did. Jungkook’s hands moved from your hips, reaching back to cup your ass in his hands, giving your cheeks a squeeze.
You moaned softly into his mouth, rolling your hips over the rough fabric of his jeans until you felt his cock harden underneath you. Jungkook made sure to assist you, his hands pressing you down harder against his confined length. Your panties were soaked, and your mind was in a daze. You were sure that you had dampened his jeans by now. “Fuck, Y/n…” he muttered in between kisses. “We have to stop before I can’t stop.”
“Then don’t stop, I want this.” You whine, rolling your hips faster. Jungkook moans, eyes squeezing shut. “Fuck, I can’t.” He grabs your hips, forcing you to stop. You take the hint, but you can’t help the pang in your chest. Was there something wrong with you? You didn’t get it. What was he waiting for? You climb off of him, taking your place back on the couch.
It’s silent as Jungkook sits up on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. “Y/n…”
“Save it,” You cut him short. “You don’t want to have sex with me, I get it.” Jungkook shakes his head. “That’s not true. I do.” He argued. You scoff, rolling your eyes. “So then what’s the problem? I’m always practically giving signals that I’m ready and you’re holding back. You have never done that with any girl you’ve dated before me.”
“You’re not any girl I’ve dated before you.”
“Right, I’m y/n, the girl that’s been your best friend for years and the truth is that’s probably all you see me as.” Jungkook says nothing, he doesn’t even bother to argue because that’s just something he hates doing with you. “I uh… I should go.”
“Then go.” You snapped. Jungkook nods, standing up from the couch. As he walks to the front door, he looks back at you. You don’t look his way, you just continue to stare forward. “You’re not any girl I’ve dated before you.” He repeats; those are his final words before he opens the door and leaves.
Your eyes brim with tears as you finally turn, looking towards the table where Jungkook’s bouquet of flowers sat.
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“Well well well, look who made a full recovery today.” You eye Jimin taking orders as you walk into Makoto. Jimin smiles at you, happy to see you in what felt like forever since you two worked together. “Y/n, it’s good to see you too.” He greets. You cross your arms, not in a greeting mood. “I have a bone to pick with you once you’re done here.” You say, walking back to the kitchen to clock in.
“Y/n, good afternoon. How are you feeling today?” Mr. Kim asks you as you grab an apron from the hook, tying the black fabric around your waist. “It’s a Monday, how am I supposed to be feeling?” You speak dreadfully. You barely got any sleep after what happened last night with Jungkook, and now you were at work. Jungkook hadn’t even called or texted you. Not that you wanted him to right now.
“Well, I meant everything that happened yesterday, how are you feeling today?” He reiterates. You grab a time card, swiping it through the clock. “I’m fine, Mr. Kim.” You walk past him, taking a notepad and pen from the cup holder. Jimin walks back into the kitchen, his face suddenly pale like he was ready to puke. Maybe he was sick.
“Hey, um, there’s someone out there at table three that’s requesting for you to take their order.” He says, scratching the back of his neck. You raise a skeptical brow. ‘Requesting me? Could it be Jungkook?’ You thought. Maybe he wanted to talk in person instead of over the phone. You didn’t see why he couldn’t have waited until your shift was over and come to your apartment, but you didn’t argue with the gesture.
“Okay…?” You walk out of the kitchen towards the dining area. As you scope out table three, you don’t see Jungkook, but in fact, Yoongi, Joon, and two other guys you don’t know. That’s why Jimin looked so sickly. You shake your head, sauntering over to their table. “What’re you doing here? Was yesterday not enough?” You snap at Yoongi.
“Nice to see you too,” the raven laughs, leaning back in his chair. “Yesterday is the reason I’m here in person, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want you getting your pretty self into any more trouble in my hood.” He smirked. “You remember my boy Joon, don’t you?”
“Wonder Woman, it’s good to see you again.” You glare at Joon, rolling your eyes. You didn’t have time for this. Yoongi was the last person you cared to see right now, and you definitely never wanted to see Nam-joon again. “So are you here to order something or are you here to be the bane of my existence?”
“Depends… are you on the menu?” He bites his bottom lip, looking you up and down. Joon, and Yoongi’s other two minions snicker and you’ve decided you’ve had enough of this pig fest. “Okay, goodbye.” You turn to head back to the kitchen, but Yoongi stops you by grabbing your wrist. “I’m just joking around, sweetheart. I’m here to ask you something.” You pull your wrist from his grip, turning back to face him. “Ask me what?”
“Well, I’m having this kickback at my place tonight. I want you to slide through.” You scrunch your eyebrows together in confusion. “What on earth would make you think I’d dare to step foot into Gongdan again? And what makes you think I’d go to your shifty ass warehouse?”
“Well, I just thought after my heroism the other day you would want to thank me more properly.” You scoffed. Mina was right. He was expecting some kind of sexual favor from you. “I knew it. You only helped because you thought you could use me later on. I should’ve expected that from someone like you.” You leave their table, making your way back towards the kitchen, but this time Yoongi stands up from his seat to follow you.
“Princess,” He stops you again, his hand grazing your waist, but he doesn’t fully touch you in a manner that came across as though he was trying to respect your boundaries–for once. He steps in front of you, blocking your way to the kitchen. “It’s not like that. I helped you because I wanted to.”
“Is that so? Because it truly didn’t seem like it just a second ago.” You snarled, crossing your arms. The raven makes a “tsk” sound before continuing on. “Sweetheart, if that’s all I wanted from you then I would’ve made you give it to me right there in the alleyway. Regardless of what happened,” His face was stone cold serious. He meant that. You stood silent, not knowing what to say next.
“Listen… sometimes I have these kickbacks, and they’re a vibe, but it would be better if I saw your pretty face there.” His voice is soft, so soft that you didn’t think someone like Yoongi could produce such a tone. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to take a bus through Gongdan at night.”
“So don’t. I’ll pick you up.”
You sigh, slowly feeling yourself ready to cave in and you didn’t know why. You literally could not stand this man. He was a stalker for fuck sakes. A criminal. And yet… here you were ready to accept his invitation because of one good gesture, and a sudden softness to his voice. Yoongi’s eyes search for yours until they lock, a smile forming his face. For a moment as you're looking into the raven’s eyes you begin to question is he really the monster he makes people believe? Or is that all for looks?
“Hey, can we get the check please?” A customer calls out. Your eyes snap away from Yoongi’s. You had almost forgotten you were at work. “Look, I have to get back to work. I’ll… I’ll let you know.” You take your notepad, writing down your phone number. As you rip the paper from the pad, you actually begin to question your sanity. You hand the paper to Yoongi, his lips tilting in a sly smirk as he takes it.
“I look forward to hearing from you, princess.”
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redstarwriting · 10 months
Text
his girl | iv. what can make me feel this way?
earth 42!miles morales x fem!reader | miles morales x fem!reader
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word count: 2.7k
genre: angst to fluff
warnings: language, spoilers (!), probably bad spanish, mentions of stab wounds, mentions of death, Miles negatively talking about himself
a/n: ok so sorry about the wait on this chapter, i was really in a drawing mood and was hyperfixating on it and couldn’t do anything until i finished my hobie drawing and my new avi, but here she is, chapter 4. i hope y’all enjoy! it’s gonna get wild around chapter 7 so 👀 enjoy it while it’s calm(ish) lmao
his girl masterlist
previous chapter: iii. all the riches
now reading: iv. what can make me feel this way?
next chapter: v. a sweeter song
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Miles really doesn’t know what he did to end up in this situation. Talking to you, but not his you, about why his you hates him now. He walks away from your side, walking over to the wall and making that his seat. He leans against it, and then pulls his other leg up, just chilling like a spider does. You make a ‘huh’ noise, and he swears he hears you whisper ‘So that’s why he calls himself Spider-Man.’
“Ah… well, to make it a long story short, I’m stupid,” he says, and you smile softly. “That tracks. Dumbest genius I’ve ever met,” you say, and he scoffs. “Good to know I’m like that in every universe.”
“Maybe not every universe, but in the ones that matter. I’m only into idiot geniuses,” you say, and he smiles a bit. “Yeah. Well. You’re not into this one, I can promise you that much,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “I probably am. What did you do this time, dummy?”
“I… wouldn’t stop comparing you to another girl…” he mumbles, and you scrunch your nose. “Ew, Miles, what the hell?” you say, and he sighs. “I know, I know. It’s stupid, I’m stupid, I know. I just…”
“Do you like her or something?” you ask, and Miles groans. “Yeah, I did. A lot, actually, but… it didn’t work out,” he mumbles, and you raise your eyebrow. “Okay… well when you say compare…” He sighs, putting his head in his hands. “Everything, man. I would compare everything. At the time I didn’t see anything wrong with it, but now…”
“Yeah. That’s not a good move, Miles. Especially because I can almost guarantee I like you,” you say, and he shakes his head. Even if his universes you did like him, he ruined that. The way you walked away from him is still burned in his mind. The small, defeated voice you would use when you would tell him to stop talking to you when he was trying. The way you stopped showing up to classes, and how he barely was seeing you at all. And when he did, he could tell something was seriously wrong, but you would ignore him every time. He missed you. He missed you even more now that you were in front of him, and it wasn’t you. “Yeah… well, not anymore you don’t.”
“Do… you like me? Like, you called me hot down there, thank you, by the way, but do you actually have a romantic attraction to me?” you ask, and Miles hesitates. He never really thought of you in that way, per se, but this last month has been hell. Actually awful. He can talk to Ganke about anything, and he does, but Ganke just… Ganke isn’t you. He thought it was just because he was missing his absolute best friend in the entire world, but honestly? It might have been deeper than that.
It is deeper than that.
“If you have to think about it for that long, I’m gonna take it as a yes,” you say, and he glances over at you. “Yeah… I guess so. I didn’t realize I liked you like that until–”
“Until just now?” you ask, and he nods. “You really are the most oblivious person in the world, Milesy,” you mumble, and he sighs. “Yeah, yeah…”
“Your mamá didn’t catch on?”
“I’m sure she did, but… she didn’t say anything,” he says, and you frown. “That’s weird… Ms. Morales notices everything and always tells you in this universe…” Miles shrugs. “Guess she’s a little different on my world then,” he says and looks down at the floor. Honeetsly, his mom probably does know. That’s why she would give him sympathetic smiles when he would talk about you, and always encourage him to try and talk to you after giving you some space. What he wouldn’t give to be with his mom right now. And his dad. Both of them. “Hey, (Y/n/n), I haven’t heard any of you mention my dad at all,” he says, looking over at you again. You frown. “Well, uh…”
“Is he… on this world is he…” he can’t bring himself to finish the sentence, but you understand. You nod. “He is… I’m so sorry, mi amor,” you mutter, and Miles’ heart flips for more than one reason. “I’m not your Miles,” he says, and you give him a small smile. “Yes, you are. The two of you are more alike than you think,” you say softly, and he lets out a little laugh. “Yeah? How?”
“Well, for one thee both of you would do anything to protect the ones you love and care about,” you say, motioning towards your broken body. “Anyone would do that,” he says, and you shake your head. “Not here, Miles. That’s rare in a place like this,” you say, and he frowns. “What is with this place anyways? Why is New York like… destroyed?” he asks, and you frown. “The Sinister Six Cartel took over everything after your dad passed. He was the last hope the city had to retaining any kind of normalcy. And the Cartel knew that… so, they targeted your mamá,” you say, causing Miles to snap his head in your direction, “Of course, Mr. Morales ran to help her. And he did, he saved her, but… he lost his life in the process” Miles’ eyes are wide as he hears you tell an abridged version of the story. “Was he the captain?”
“Yes, he was. It was the day he was sworn in, actually. He was the only officer in the city to have the cajones to stand up against the Cartel. So, they got him out of the way. And then the police force was corrupted, and everything went to shit,” you explain, and Miles stares ahead.
A canon event.
He was supposed to be Spider-Man on this world. And he’s still going through the events that all Spider-People go through. If the spider was supposed to bite this Miles, does that mean that before the spider, he was destined to become the Prowler? Would he still lose his dad even if he didn’t have these powers? Because this Miles did. You notice he’s gone quiet. “What’s that big brain of yours overthinking now?” you ask, and he looks at you. “I’m gonna need you to stop knowing everything about me, (Y/n),” he jokes, and you giggle. “Impossible.”
“It’s not important what I’m thinking about right now. How are you feeling?”
“It is important, but fine. Honestly, I’m not feeling great. But talking to you is definitely keeping my mind off of… things,” you say, glancing at thee knife sticking out of you before looking back at him. “Tell me more about myself. About how we’re alike,” Miles says, and you smile. “An excuse to talk about you? Say less.” Miles smiles, but it slightly wavers when he realizes that he could have had this. And if he just wasn’t a fucking idiot… he might have this. “You’re both strong. Stronger than anyone could imagine, and I’m not just talking about physical strength. You both can handle anything thrown at you emotionally… and yet somehow, you’re both idiots when it comes to your feelings. It took my Miles a near-death experience to confess to me. Said that while he was lying on the hospital bed the only thing that was keeping him on this world was me. That’s when he realized he loved me. Even after Ms. Morales told him that he did. I’m assuming you don’t listen to your mamá, either?” you tease, and Miles rolls his eyes. “I do! I do… for the most part.” He side-eyes you as you finish the sentence with him. “Always for the most part when it comes to listening to the women in your life,” you joke, and he rolls his eyes. “Alright, fine. I could listen to her a little more.”
“A little more? You’re a lost cause,” you tease, and he shakes his head. “How is she…? On this world, without my dad…?” Miles asks, and you give him a sad smile. “She manages. It’s hard. She works overtime at the hospital to provide for my Miles. And it’s still barely enough.”
“Wait, is it safe for her to work there? I mean with it being under this Cartel and all?”
“It’s fine. They think have some kind of moronic claim over her knowing that they killed your father. They use her as an example and look down on her, but they think that your dad was the outspoken one about them. If only they knew…” you mumble, shaking your head, and Miles laughs. “I can’t see her staying quiet about something like this unless she had to,” he admits, and you nod. “She doesn’t. Unless she has to. Which she has to a lot now to protect you,” you say, and Miles shakes his head. “They don’t know I’m the Prowler?”
“No. They don’t. I’m sure they have suspicions since you’re seen with your Tío all the time, but they don’t necessarily believe a 15-year-old would do the things you do. Besides, you mainly work with them instead of against them. Not by choice, if you had a choice you’d fight back,” you say, causing Miles to shake his head. “There’s always a choice. Especially when it comes to this. No one should tell you how to live your life or how it’s supposed to go,” he says, thinking back to the fight he just had with Miguel. Seems there are people here trying to tell other him how to live his life and telling him exactly how it should be, too. ‘Is everyone telling me how to live another one of your stupid canon events, Miguel?’ he thinks to himself. “I agree with you, but… he’s doing his best,” you say, and Miles nods. “Have I ever mentioned anything about fighting back?”
“To me, yes. All the time. But never to your Tío. He wouldn’t get it. Wouldn’t agree on it. So, he does what he can,” you say, “He just doesn’t need someone so close to him telling him his ideas and what he does is screwing everything up.” Miles nods. “I know that feeling,” he says. “That’s another similarity. You both are underestimated by everyone else,” you say.
Miles feels his chest tighten up. You’ve said that to him so many times in his world. After losing the science fair in 7th grade, after how he was feeling right after he first transferred to Visions, after he told you he was Spider-Man, and how he almost wasn’t good enough to be called Spider-Man by other Spider-People. So many times, you were there to reassure him he was enough, and that it was three other people underestimating him in the wrong. “How did I not notice this before?” he asks aloud, and you smile softly. “There’s another similarity. Heard you say that so many times,” you say, and he sighs. “I need to get home,” he mutters, and you nod. “I agree. You shouldn’t be stuck here like this. Especially if I’m waiting for you over there.”
“Not only that, but my dad is about to die in three days. And I have this really difficult villain I have to beat because he’s gonna try to take away everything I care about, and instead, I’m stuck here. I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s nice talking to you, it always is, and I’m really happy I was here to help myself save you, but I need to be home. I can’t let my dad die knowing I could do something to stop it,” he says, and you nod. “I’ll convince him. Don’t worry, Miles can and will help you. But… how do you know your dad is about to die?”
“It’s… it’s a Spider-Man thing. Apparently. Dad’s gonna be captain in three days and… dad’s gonna die in three days,” he mutters, and you raise your eyebrow. “Sounds like Miles was supposed to be like you, then,” you say. You’re so smart. Took the words right out of Miles’ mouth. “I know. Could have prevented him a lot of pain,” he mumbles, and you shake your head. “Do not blame yourself for getting bitten by a spider, Miles, you couldn’t control that,” you say, and he shrugs. “Still. Took his whole life away from him.”
“And what would that have given you?”
Miles looks at you, and you cock your head to the side. “If you never got bit, what would that mean for you?” “Well… it would probably mean that you and I still talked. And that Uncle Aaron would still be alive,” he says, and your eyes widen. “Your Tío died?”
“Yeah. He died… protecting me,” he mutters, “of course, he did try to kill me until he knew it was me, and then Kingpin shot him. And killed him. In front of me.” You stare at him with wide eyes. “Miles, mi sol, I am so sorry,” you say, and he shakes his head. “It… it's not fine, but it is. It has to be. He was the Prowler, so… guess it was better for him to find out then instead of later on down the line after he would have tried to kill me even more times.” He frowns. This is really weird. This Miles still has Aaron, and he still has his dad… but Miles is about to lose his dad, so… does that mean this Miles is about to lose Aaron? He hopes not. This universe shit is confusing. “Always trying to find the positive, I see,” you mutter, “the two of you really are the same.”
“That guy tries to find the positive in situations?” Miles asks, in a little bit of disbelief. You laugh. “Sí, it’s why I call him mi sol,” you say. “And I take it you have a tendency to be negative like my (Y/n)?” he asks, and you huff. “I’m not negative–”
“I’m realistic,” Miles finishes your sentence with a smile. “Well, I am!” you exclaim, causing him to laugh. “I know, and I’m not just saying I know because you’ll get mad at me if I don’t,” he teases, and you throw the pillow your head is on at him. He catches it with ease, laughing. “Damn, pissed you off enough for you to try to assault me, huh?” he jokes, hopping off the wall and walking over to you. He gently lifts the top of your body up, placing the pillow underneath of your head. He helps you lay back down, and you place your hand over top of his. “I definitely like you, Miles. It’s hard not to.”
He smiles slightly. “Thanks, (Y/n/n),” he whispers. You pat his hand before he pulls away from you. “Do you think you’ll accept my apology?” he asks, and you nod. “I’d do anything if it was for you,” you say. Miles feels his heart skip a beat. He knows you feel the same way about him as this world’s (Y/n) does. Or he at least as to believe you do. For his sake. He just needs to get his head out of his ass and apologize before it’s too late. Hopefully, it isn’t too late, yet. “I’m… I’m so sorry,” he admits to you, and you give him a sincere grin. “Save your apologies for your (Y/n), Miles. And tell her you saved her life. Again,” you say, and he nods.
At that moment, other Miles comes through the window, his mask coming off as he walks over to you, completely ignoring Miles. “Rude,” he mutters under his breath, as Aaron follows Miles inside. But at the same time, he gets it. He’d do the same if you were hurt like this. “How do you feel, baby?” he asks, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Trying not to panic because there’s metal in my arm but other than that, okay, I guess,” you say, “Miles was keeping me distracted from it.”
42 Miles looks at him, giving him a nod. “Thanks, man.”
“No problem.”
“Oh, one more thing, Miles,” you say, and they both look at you. You smile at him, leaning up and placing a little kiss on his nose.
“You’re helping him get home.”
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themorningsunshine · 11 months
Text
Pancakes
Pie eyed over you - Chapter 4
Mafia - Baker AU
Masterlist                        Series Masterlist
Previous Part
Pairing - Mafia!Bucky x Baker!Reader
Summary - When a new baker in town refuses to abide by his rules, Bucky has no option but to go and take care of it himself. But nothing could prepare him for what stood on the other side. Nothing could prepare him for you.
Warnings - Implied smut, Making out, wounds, brief mention of first aid, fluff and angst 
Word count - 5.9k
a/n - I really tried writing smut for the first time for this chapter, but realised soon enough that it’s not my cup of tea. Alteast not yet. Maybe some other time. Till then, please let me know what you think :) 
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(I couldn’t find a more accurate gif. It in no way represents the reader) 
"y/n, y/n!"
Wanda's voice and her brisking past you to switch off the coffee machine brought you off the hole you were glaring into the wall with your stare.
Your feet walked on your own as you picked up the cup and walked towards the elderly woman, handing over the cup, a smile plastered on your face.
"Are you okay, dear?" The elderly woman, Mrs. Hudson, asked in a gentle voice.
You nodded your head and with a more convincing smile at her concern, replied, "Yeah, yeah, I am totally fine, Mrs Hudson. Just a lot on my mind right now."
"You have to take care of yourself, child. How else will I get the best coffee in the world?"
You chuckled before replying, "Don't worry, Mrs Hudson. You and this town aren't going to get rid of me this easily."
She gives you a wider smile and with small steps, carries her cup and box outside. You wanted to help her and make sure she reached home safely, but after all these months, you just know how stubborn she can be.
"Y/n, you seriously need to take care of yourself. You look tired."
You dismiss Wanda with a shake of your hand, you knew you were tired. You felt tired. But it had nothing to do with the bakery or your chores, you knew it and if nothing else, they were a pretty good distraction from what had been plaguing your mind for what felt like forever now. "I am fine, Wan. Don't you worry about me? You have got enough on your plate." And you meant it. Ever since Wanda gave birth to the twin boys, she had been super busy and the both of you hardly got any time to hang out together, but you understood. She was a mom now. She would eventually take out some time for the both of you, and she did. If the shopping bags and the skip in both of your steps were any indications, she came back for a wonderful girls' day out after all.
"I am never going to stop worrying about you, y/n. It's kind of my birthright." She noted before picking up a cupcake from the shelf.
After a moment of comfortable silence and a couple of customers, when you found yourself lost in your thoughts once again, Wanda spoke up. "Come on, y/n. I know it's been a month and that's a pretty long time, but you need to stop thinking about the worst-case scenarios. Maybe he is safe and sound, and you are just worrying yourself over nothing."
You sighed. You knew she was right but there was absolutely nothing that could calm down your nerves. "I - I don't know, Wan. That day, Steve said it was an emergency. They sounded so worried. And I have got no damn idea about what it even was about."
"What emergencies would mechanics have that could take a month?" Wanda asks with a furrow. The first time she had met James, flashed back into her eyes. She knew something had not been right about him. She just couldn't pin out what. She didn't want to tell you and worry you about it if it was nothing.
"I - I think something is not right, Wan. I think there is something huge he isn't telling me." Your throat contracted as the words left your mind. You had been thinking that for quite some time now. But giving voice to your suspicions and putting them out there, was a different deal altogether. It wasn't just a thought running into your mind anymore.
"You think he has been lying to you?" Wanda whispers, her heart sinking in her chest at your dejected expression. You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve lies or even half-baked truths and it hurt her so much that she could do nothing about this.
"I don't know. I mean, he could lie to me, right? It's not like he owes me anything. He could straight up one day decide to never show up at the bakery again and there is absolutely nothing I could do about it."
"But he wouldn't do that. You know it." She puts her hand ahead to try to comfort you.
"Then where is he, Wan? Where has he gone for one month without a single word? And hell, I can't even ask around if someone has seen him, because guess what, he is supposed to be nothing to me." You half screamed with exasperation. You wished it wasn't this way. You wished that he hadn't just gone without any contact for a month and you wished that it didn't hurt this much. You wish you could just care less.
"But is he? Is he nothing to you, y/n?" She asks, knowing the answer all too well, but she needs to hear it from you. But your silence and the slight tears brimming in the corner of your eyes are an answer enough for her.
She puts her hand around you to comfort you before stating what has been obvious to her for a long time now. " You're in love with him. "
You suddenly take a step back, running your palm on your face, before replying, "What? No, no, no. That's not true."
There is a pang in your chest that tells you otherwise. The way the bakery hasn't just been the same since he left tells you otherwise. The way your smiles haven't truly reached your eyes for the past week says otherwise. The way your eyes always instantly look at the door at the voice of the bell, hoping with everything you have that it's him, tells you otherwise.
But you wish to stay in denial for a little longer. You wish to ignore all the feelings James Barnes has ignited inside you locked up a little longer. Because for some reason, you knew that it could only lead to inevitable hurt, and you wish you could live in this blissful ignorance a little longer.
Wanda just puts her arms around you and engulfs you in a hug, muttering comforting words into your hair.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚
It was a dead silent night.
The only thing illuminating his path were the few streetlights and lights of the shop that were still open.
Bucky flinches slightly as the wound on his face makes its presence known.
He knows he shouldn't be here. Maybe at work, informing everybody of the long mission, celebrating the fact that one of his biggest enemies is gone for good now, or maybe getting some medical care, but definitely not here.
But it has been too long, and if he doesn't see you right now, make sure that you're okay, even though he's the one who has been in near-death situations more times than he can count, he is not sure he will be able to breathe.
Maybe he should have stopped for a moment and thought about what he would tell you about the scars and the wounds, but right now, he was a desperate man.
As the bakery comes into view, he lets out a sigh of relief when he notices that the light is on.
You would be cleaning up after the day right now. Maybe, if he was lucky, you would let him just sit there for some time and not send him away from the door. After the radio silence he has given you for more than a month, he will deserve that, but he is not sure if he will be able to live with it.
When he reaches the bakery, he stops for a moment and looks inside.
There, you are. In all your glory, wiping the counter with a determined look on your face.
Bucky is stopped in his tracks. Just like the first night he had met you, he needs a moment to catch his breath, to look at you for a moment longer to convince himself that this is real. You are real.
To him, you get even more beautiful every time he looks at you.
As if on instinct, you look up from the counter towards the door, and your movements halt when your eyes meet the blue ones you had missed more than anything.
You stand there, staring at him for a minute, to make sure that this is actually true, that he was here and it was not just your mind playing games.
When you are finally able to get your feet to move, you walk towards the door to the bakery and pull the door open.
Bucky looks at you with a small smile on his face. Even after he had fought through literal hell the past month, the mere sight of you made it all better. It was like he had been lost into the sea for far too long and you were the first sight of civilization, of peace, of life.
But there is a slight fear in his eyes. He knows you had all the right in the world to just ask him to get lost, that after the radio silence he had put you through, he would deserve everything you had to say to him.
But he couldn't have expected what you did next.
You took hurried steps toward him and before he knew it, you brought your hands around his neck, engulfing him into a tight hug.
"James" You breathed his name as you held onto him tighter. You wanted to be angry with him, to let him know just how much he had worried you, to give him a chance to silence all your worries, but the second you saw him, all you could get yourself to care about was that he was here, and he was fine.
After the initial shock, Bucky brought his arms around your waist, bringing you impossibly closer and burying his face into your hair, letting your smell and the feeling of you pressed against him, engulf his senses.
He doesn't know what peace felt like, but he is pretty sure it feels a lot like this.
The both of you stay like that for a moment longer before anger comes sweeping back to you and you pull away.
"Where the hell was - " Your words die on your tongue at the sight in front of you. James' face is bruised and he looks like he has been through hell. He looks tired, and all the shine that you had started to associate with his eyes is completely gone now.
"Holy shit." You almost shout before bringing your hand towards his face to gently run your fingers over his bruises.
He flinches first before closing his eyes and leaning into your touch and you can't help but feel guilty for being angry with him when he has clearly been going through something.
"How did you get hurt?"
He bites his lip and slowly opens his eyes, but doesn't look at you, instead choosing to focus on your palm that's still resting on his face. "I - I got into an accident." He says, cringing at the way he hesitates. He used to be able to lie like a breeze. It was the easiest thing in the world for him. But there is something in your eyes and something inside him that's begging him to stop this. To just come clean and face the consequences. But he knows for a fact that once he does that, your hand wouldn't gently rest on his face like it's doing now, healing wounds that he didn't even know existed and you wouldn't be looking at him like that. Like he could ever in this lifetime be deserving of the affection of someone like you. And he realizes he needs it, maybe just for tonight, but he needs to live in a false lie.
You bring your hand away as his words settle in. There is a hesitation in his voice and a pang in your chest that tells you he's lying, even though you desperately want to believe him. You search for something in his eyes, anything that could convince you that he was telling you the truth, but you find nothing.
You look down, blinking back the tears that are threatening to spill.
You shake your head and then look up only to be met by his battered face and you take a deep breath before reaching out for his hand.
You needed to help him right now. If you knew something about James that was not a lie, it was that he could be extremely stubborn and he would never take care of the bruises himself. You could either wallow in self-pity or demand the truth later. For now, you take his hand in yours and pull him towards the stairs leading to your apartment.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩
Bucky very slightly flinches in pain as you put the tweezers down on the plate, his bare minimum reaction to everything you were doing would have been a concern to you but you knew just how strong he could be.
You look up at his face and feel relieved at what you see. The wounds weren't very severe and you were thankful for the first aid box you always kept tucked inside your washroom.
It had been almost an hour since the both of you stepped into the apartment. His wounds were all catered to now, including the ones on his chest and back.
He sat there, shirtless, in the kitchen of your apartment as you slowly looked after the bruises one by one, using everything you had not to stare at his bare chest. It really should be illegal for someone to be this good-looking.
You could see the scars where metal met skin and you couldn't help the pain that swept into your chest. You had gently run your fingers across them as if that would somehow relieve his pain and Bucky would never say it out loud, but it somehow did.
Not a single word had been uttered between the both of you since you stepped into the apartment. James had tried talking, anything that would make you look at him even for a fleeting moment but your sheer reluctance to meet his eyes made his words die on his tongue.
When you are finally done mending all the wounds, you keep the first aid box to the side and take a seat in front of him, still refusing to look at him.
James looks at you but is met with complete ignorance from you. He knows he deserves this, but he would apologize if you just gave him the chance. He finally decides to fill the silence that has surrounded the apartment for so long. "Sweets - "
"How did you get hurt, James?" You cut him off, looking up to look directly into his eyes for the first time that night, begging him through your eyes to be honest for this once. To just cease your fears and tell you whatever he is so adamant about hiding.
Please, please, be honest with me, James.
I want to be able to believe you, to be able to trust you, to love you.
Please, don't lie to me.
"I told you, sweets. It was an accident."
You feel the worry and hurt morph into anger. "And where were you the past month? Preparing for the accident?"
You watched as he shook his head, unable to meet your eyes and you could feel your stomach drop. You didn't want to do this, not right now. He was hurt, and tired and your heart was begging you to stop and save the little shred of hope left between the both of you, but you had to know.
James let out a sigh and closed his eyes before muttering, "Sweets, I told you. It's nothing."
You let out an involuntary humorless chuckle, before closing your eyes shut, "Why is it so difficult for you to be honest with me, James?"
Bucky closed his eyes shut and clenched his fists, anything to stop him from spilling out everything to you. You sounded broken, hurt and he mentally berated himself for making you feel this way. There's nothing more he wanted than to let it all out, to lay the pieces of his soul bare in front of you.
But he instead leans his head closer, his forehead brushing against yours, willing you with everything he has to Munster and everything he couldn't put into words.
You let a silent sob as your lips quivered and a tear rolled down your cheek. "I - I don't know, James. You were gone for more than a month and I had absolutely no idea where you were. I was worried, but I shouldn't be. You don't owe it to me to tell you where you were, you don't owe me anything - "
"That's not true." He interrupted, voice pleading, something that felt so foreign to him, but for you, he would do it. For you, he would get down on his knees if it meant you would stop hurting.  "I need you to know that that's not true, sweets. You have no idea how sorry I am that I couldn't reach out to you, but please, believe me when I say this, I would have if I could, 'cause it was killing me. Every single moment not spent with you, not knowing how you are is torture, a torture I am not sure I will be able to survive for long."
You let out a broken sob as he brought his hand behind your neck, gently pushing you towards him, your foreheads now completely leaning on each other, your breaths mingling and you involuntarily close your eyes.
The whole world ceased to exist at that moment. The both of you comfort each other with your mere presence. There were a lot of things unsaid, a lot of things unvisited, for that small moment right there, all that mattered was that you had found each other.
After what felt like an eternity, you let out your worst fear. Something that has plagued your mind for a long time now. "Sometimes, I - I feel like I don't even know you, James like all of this is a huge lie, a front that would fall apart someday."
You don't let him answer as you pull back and stand up quickly to turn away. You had to get away from there. The intimacy of it all, and how real it felt, filled you with dread now.
But before you can walk away from him, James's hand shoots up and grabs hold of your wrist. His hold is gentle, but firm, keeping you with him. He looks up and you see in his eyes how vulnerable he is. How important this conversation is for him, too.
He gets up and takes a step forward and your heart begins beating so fast, you are pretty sure he would be able to hear it.
You take a step back if only to save your heart from getting away, a meek attempt at postponing getting it broken by the man in front of you, the man who had held your heart for a long time now, only for your back to hit the counter.
As James took another step ahead and with nowhere to go, you saw in his eyes as several different emotions pooled through his blue orbs. The intensity of his gaze makes you look away.
He slowly brings his hand under your chin and makes you look up at him and you realize there is hardly a few inches of distance between the both of you. Your thoughts turn frantic and it becomes impossible to focus on your breathing.
"You know me, sweets. You know me in ways nobody has ever before."
He whispers the sentence as if it was something to be kept just between you two, his voice dripping with conviction and honesty. His eyes determined to make you believe every single word falling from his lips, which were now mere inches from yours.
He knows it's true. In all those times when everything became a little too much and he wasn't himself, even when he didn't even realize it, you did. You could read him like a book and it would have scared him if it wasn't for what came after. Your comforting words, your slight touches that made him believe that this world hadn't gone to shit just yet, that everything could still be okay. You didn't have to know what troubled his mind and plagued his nightmares but you made it all better and silenced the whisperings of his troubled mind nonetheless.
You know it's stupid, but you believe him. You believe every single word that falls from his mouth, and you realize the man in front of you was always going to hold a piece of your heart, even if he had no idea. Because he might have lied about something that you didn't know, but it didn't have to matter. Nothing else in the world had to matter if he kept looking at you like this.
His intense gaze falls from your eyes to your lips for a fleeting second and you would have missed it, if not for your sheer inability to focus on anything else but him at that moment.
Your breath mingles as he leans closer, his eyes never leaving yours.
The world stops spinning when his lips finally touch yours.
The silence around you explodes and a world of colors appears from behind your closed eyes.
Every thought in your mind is stripped out and replaced with him.
Just him
The kiss is gentle, soft, almost tender. All the things that have been missing from his life for as long as he could remember.
He doesn't just feel the kiss on his lips, he feels it in every fiber of his being.
The way his bones feel like they are on fire. Like his soul has finally found water.
Like every part of him that came from a dead star is alive again.
It is everything he has ever wanted. You are everything he has ever wanted.
he slides his hand to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as if even an inch of distance between the both of you was too much for him.
You encircle your arms around his neck, your fingers gently running through his hair.
You taste like coffee and cookies, and it's all exceptionally sweet and he wants to taste it all like a man who has been devoid of air for a long time.
When the necessity to breathe arises, you pull away. But James doesn't let you get too far, as he walks you toward the counter, trapping you between his arms.
Your lips are parted, still breathing heavily, when he leans in again. Now that he knew how your lips felt, he never wanted to be away from them for even a second.
This kiss is passionate and desperate, hands wandering, tongues desperately exploring each other's mouth, your back pushing against the counter.
James' hands get lower towards your thighs and he picks you up effortlessly placing you comfortably on the counter, stepping between your legs, not breaking up the kiss for even a moment.
He bites your lower lip and you let out a sinful moan, making all his blood run south.
He breaks up the kiss before bringing his attention to your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your exposed skin.
"James" You hiss out when he kisses that particular spot.
James suddenly stops and looks at you. You would think he didn't want to take this further had it not been for the desperate hold he had on your waist.
He looks into your eyes, not an ounce of hesitation in his eyes, before saying, "Tell me to stop."
You frown before he continues. "Tell me to stop, sweets and I swear I will, 'cause if you don't," He swallows before continuing. "I can't promise you that you will be able to walk tomorrow."
You are soaking wet, which is proof enough that you want this as much as he does, so you don't ask him to stop. Instead, you pull him towards you by his collar and press your lips to his in a passionate kiss giving him all the permission he needed.
He brings his hand under your thighs before picking you up and you wrap your legs around his waist, encircling his neck with your arms, holding onto him for dear life.
He walks the both of you towards your bedroom without breaking the kiss.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**
The warmth of sun rays falls on your face as you slowly open your eyes.
The feeling of an arm splayed on your stomach makes your heart stop for a second before the memories of last night come sweeping back to you.
It all felt like a dream and considering just how good last night was, you would have actually considered it a dream if it wasn't for James' hand laying gently on your stomach while also effectively pinning you to the bed and the feeling of soreness between your legs.
But you didn't mind. Not when he had taken you apart more times than you could count last night, leaving you a mumbling mess every single time.
You look to your side and your eyes land on his sleeping form.
With gentle hues of the sunlight sweeping its away through the window and onto his face, he looked dreamy, ethereal and you couldn't help but stare at him.
It was still early into the morning but you knew you would have to get up soon enough, so, in a desperate attempt to engrave this memory into your head, you brought your fingers to his face, gently touching his cheek, his stubble a little rough under your touch.
It is a tender moment for you. One in which you can engulf in your feelings for him a little longer, before facing reality, a reality in which he might never feel the same way.
You watch as his eyes slowly flutter open, immediately turning into a warm look when they land on you and you can feel your cheeks turning warm.
He smirks before saying, "I could get used to this."
You chuckle and take your hand away before he holds it in his and brings it to his chest. "Good morning to you too, James."
"Good morning, sweets." He leans in and places a light feathery kiss on your lips and it's already the best start to a morning you've ever had.
When he leans back, his eyes never leaving yours, you attempt to get out from under his hand to get the day started, but he doesn't move his arm an inch, effectively keeping you in the same spot.
"We both have got work to do, James." You tried your hardest to be stern but the way he looked with his bed hair and a carefree smile on his face made your insides melt.
"Nope, it's too early." He mutters, closing his eyes and pressing his face on your neck, his breath on your exposed skin making your skin tingle.
You chuckle before wrapping your hands around him, already drifting toward sleep and you feel him smile.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩
The sound of footsteps brings you out of your stupor and you flutter your eyes open.
The bed beside you is empty and before you could think much about it, a voice from the door brings a smile to your face.
"Good morning, sweets."
You turn your head towards James who is leaning at the doorway his arms crossed. He isn't wearing a shirt and even after last night, it doesn't stop amazing you just how perfect he is. Your eyes drift over his form, noticing how his sweatpants hang low. You shook your head, willing yourself to not let your mind go there.
"Like what you see?" He says, a smirk is evident in his voice.
You shrug before blatantly lying, "I have seen better."
He pushes himself from the doorway. He knew you were lying. The goofy smile on your face, and the blissful look you adorned told him everything he had to know.
When you hang your legs from the bed, about to get up, he told you to sit right there, before walking out of the room. Even when he was gone, you couldn't help the smile on your face. Your sheets smelled like him.
He came back a couple of minutes later, a mini table in his hand.
When he kept it in front of you, you gasped as you saw what was on it. There was a plate full of pancakes, a warm cup of coffee, and your living room flowers in a mug beside it.
You looked up and whispered under your breath, "James, you didn't have to do this."
"Are you kidding, sweets? God knows how many sweet meals I owe you. There are a little too many, but this is a good start.
You chuckled before leaning in and pressing your lips to his in a brief kiss.
You took a piece of the pancake and tasted it, doing everything in yourself to not let the grimace show on your face.
James was good at a lot of things. Intimidating people, physical strength, reading, shooting (apparently), knowing exactly what you wanted, and definitely sex. But cooking wasn't one of those things.  
"So?" He asked, squinting his eyes trying to gauge your reaction.
You smiled at him before shoving the piece down your throat. "It's amazing."
His smile widened before he leaned towards the plate. "yeah, I knew it. Let me taste it."
"No, no, you don't - "
You were too late as he took a bite of the pancake and gagged before spitting it out. "It's terrible."
He leaned again and took the plate away from you. "No human should be subjected to this."
You chuckled. "It isn't that bad, James."
He shook his head in disapproval.
The both of you had coffee (which was pretty good) with you telling him everything you had planned for the bakery that day.
Bucky looked at you talking and sipping coffee and couldn't help the grin on his face. Your messy bed hair, sitting in an oversized shirt, talking so passionately about something you loved, filled his heart with warmth.
It was all so peaceful. So serene.
And he might not accept it right now, but if he got to start his day exactly like this for the rest of his life, he wouldn't mind one bit.
Unable to help himself, he leans in and captures your lips in a kiss.
You taste like fresh coffee and terribly baked pancakes, it's his favorite taste in the world.
You reciprocate the kiss with equal fever before realizing you were involuntarily slipping into his lap.
It took everything in you to break the kiss. "Nope, we both have got work to do."
You get up from the bed, walking away from him.
"Maybe I could convince you to spend the day in bed?" James said with a voice that made walking away almost impossible.
"It's not gonna be that easy, James." You said with a smirk before reaching the doorway and turning to look at him.
"Your underestimation of me hurts me, sweets." He said before getting up and walking towards you.
You took off from the doorway and ran towards the living room, giggling.
You hadn't even reached the sofas when you felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around you.
James picked you up from the ground, his bare chest pressing to your back before giving you a twirl and turning you towards him.
"Knew I'd catch you, sweets."
Your lips were parted breathing heavily as he brought his lips to yours, entering his tongue into your mouth. His hands pulled you by your waist bringing you closer, before reaching towards the buttons on your shirt.
You gasped as you felt his clothed length against your core, all your resolve fading.
The ringing of his phone became a background noise initially before jolting the both of you out of your haze and you reluctantly pulled back, pointing towards the kitchen counter he had kept his phone on the previous night.
James growled before stepping towards you again, choosing to ignore whoever it was who wanted his attention so badly.
But you leaned back, adamant about him picking up the phone. It could be important.
He stepped towards his phone, pressing it to his ears without checking the caller id.
Steve's voice bellowed against his ear and Bucky knew he was pissed. "Where the hell have you been, Buck? I have tried reaching you since last night."
"I was - I was in the middle of something, punk. Is this important?" He deliberately doesn't tell him where he is, wanting to keep everything between you for as long as he could.
"Of course it's important. We have a meeting with Stark in 15 minutes and you are not even here. This deal is important, Buck and you know, he doesn't like to wait."
"I don't give a shit about Stark, Steve. Why can't you or Sam handle this?"
"Because you know about these weapons more than any of us. I don't understand, you spent months trying to get this deal. What is something so important now?" Bucky could hear the suspicion rising in his tone.
"Fine." He sighed. "I will be there in 10."
He cuts the call before turning back and walking towards the kitchen, where you'd sneak off to give him some space to talk on the phone.
"Sweets, Steve called. I have to go."  He sounded disappointed and regretful.
You tried to hide the disappointment in your voice before saying, "I told you we both have work to get to."
A moment of silence passed between the both of you, slightly awkward before he walked towards the bedroom to get dressed.
He walked back into the kitchen 5 minutes later, bid you goodbye, and walked towards the door.
He hastily turned back and took hurried steps towards the kitchen.
You looked up from the counter and frowned when you saw he had come back. But before you could utter a word, he pressed his lips against yours for a brief yet firm kiss.
"I was wrong, sweets. You are the best damn thing I have ever had."  He spoke with a smirk before walking back towards the door.
You felt red creep up to your neck and you were stuck in place for a moment before shaking yourself out of your thoughts.
For the rest of the day, you felt giddy, happiness settling inside you, making you feel like you were flying.
But here's the thing.
Flying felt a lot like falling till you hit the ground.
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somekindofpoet · 11 months
Text
Missed Connection 5
Summary: A flight delay causes a chance meeting between R and Jenna Ortega
Word Count: 2.4K
A/N: I present to you, the next chapter. It's a short one, but the next one will make up for it, I promise
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
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“A public boat ride, Jen? Seriously?”
Jenna’s publicist Sam, is at her desk, rubbing her eyes and trying not to pull her hair out. Jenna is trying to look apologetic, sitting in the armchair across from her. 
“For what it’s worth, the whales were pretty amazing. And I think I underestimated the zoom on cameras. Did you know they can shoot from that far?” Jenna grimaces, hearing her own words, picking at her nails and shrugging.
“Yes, I do know that. It’s my job.”
Jenna winces, shrinking into her chair, “Sam, I know you hate me right now, but I really like this girl.”
She sighs, drops her hands to her desk, “I don’t hate you. You do make my life more difficult than my other clients.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“But, we can spin this any way you want. Are we comfortable with coming out right about your relationship?”
Jenna looks at her hands and spins the ring on her index finger, “We haven’t really defined the relationship.”
Sam closes her eyes and takes a deep breath through her nose, “Jenna, please make my life easy and define it. Also, her background check should be done today, so before you make any decisions let’s see that first. Can you do that for me?”
Jenna nods, feeling a bit like a child being scolded by the principal. She did feel guilty about giving Sam hell the last few weeks, but she was just enamored with you. She is aware her feelings are leading her to questionable decision-making.
“Define the relationship. Got it,” Jenna stands and rounds her chair, hustling out of the office before Sam can place higher demands.
“Don’t forget about the background check! I’m serious, J!”
——
“Okay, so, you’re freaking out,” Dani says, her feet curled under her on your couch.
She looks relaxed and comfortable with her glass of wine while you, on the other hand, are pacing, pulling your hair out.
“Dani, we kissed in public. Her PR team is going to have my head. And speaking of that-“
Dani puts her hands up, “Woah, slow down. Have you heard from her today?”
You wave your hand toward your phone, your shoulders creeping toward your ears as the tension in your body rises, “Yeah, she’s texting me right now. She just got out of a meeting with her agent.”
“And?” Dani asks, sipping her wine and eyeing you.
“She said it went okay. Sam is irritated about the boat ride, but Jenna says not to worry about it.”
“And yet,” Dani says with a teasing smile.
You throw your hands up, “And yet, I am worried.”
“Dude, sit down. Drink your wine. I still don’t understand why you’re freaking out.”
You flop onto the couch in defeat, dropping your head back against the cushion.
“So…” you hesitate, “there’s a thing.”
Dani raises an eyebrow, “How enlightening.”
You huff, roll your eyes, “Jenna told me they need to do a background check, and…well…there’s a reason I changed to nature photography.”
“You mean besides your love for the wilds?” Dani smirks, teasing you.
“I’m serious, Dani. It’s kind of bad. And she’s going to find out about it, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, let's hear it. What did you do?”
——
“An assault charge?” Jenna frowns back in Sam’s office a few hours later, looking at the folder in her lap.
Sam stands from her chair and rounds the desk, leaning back into it. She tilts her head, her mouth downturned in commiseration.
“There’s not a lot of detail about what happened, but yes. She’s got an assault charge on her record.”
Jenna’s stomach is in knots, looking at your mugshot. Her voice is quiet and small when she speaks again, “Why didn’t she tell me?”
Sam sighs, shrugs, “I don’t think I’d want to tell a date about it either, hon. But it doesn’t look great.”
Jenna runs her fingertips over the paper, trying desperately to understand. You look exhausted in the photo, with dark bags under your eyes and your cheeks hollow. She’s conflicted, not understanding how the girl she kissed in New York could possibly have assaulted someone. But the proof is there, in her lap. 
Her eyes are wide and worried when she looks back at Sam, “What do I do?”
——-
“The only way to deal with this is to get ahead of it,” now Dani is the one pacing while you sit on your couch.
“It’s too late, Dani. Fuck I’ve royally fucked this up.”
“She’ll understand. If she’s anything like the person you’ve described to me, I’m sure she’ll understand. You just need to explain it to her.”
You drop your head into your hands, feeling absolutely hopeless. You knew this would come to light eventually, but you thought you’d have more time. You thought you’d be able to break the news gently, to frame the story so Jenna didn’t get the wrong picture. But you waited too long, and now you’re sure she’s looking down at your mugshot in disgust.
You want to crawl into a hole, burrow into a soft, quiet grave, and never resurface. 
“Hey,” Dani’s hand is light on your shoulder, her face pulled in worry, “it’s going to be okay. You just really need to talk to her.”
“I don’t know if I can face her right now,” you mumble in between your fingers.
“Listen, I’m going to give you to the bottom of this bottle to feel sorry for yourself. And then we’re going to put on our big girl pants and fix this situation.”
“What if she doesn’t want to see me?”
“Cross that bridge when we get to it. You have to try, at least. Text her right now.”
You lift your head, turn toward her. You know she’s right, as much as you hate to admit it. Wallowing isn’t going to save this scenario, and hiding surely isn’t going to help anything. Even if it’s the only thing you want to do.
“What if I do it tomorrow?”
“No,” Dani shakes her head, her blonde hair whipping with the force of it, “Right now. I’m not leaving until you text her.”
You sigh, pick up your phone, “Fine. Fine. But if she ghosts me, I think I’ll just pack up and go live out my days in Greenland with a Musk Ox colony.”
Dani pats your back, “I mean, if that’s what you want, then I’ll support you. But like, from afar because that sounds truly horrifying.”
You laugh, despite yourself.
——
Your text comes through when Jenna is at home. The folder with your mugshot is open on her island countertop. She opens the phone, reads the text.
Y/N
Can we talk? If Sam checked me out, then I know what you’re looking at. All I’m asking is that you let me explain.
She sighs, looking back at the folder. The black printed ‘ASSAULT’ screaming at her. But she has to know why. She owes you the opportunity to explain yourself. The bubbles under your text pop up again, your impatience getting the better of you.
Y/N
Here’s my address. I’ll be here all night. I know it looks bad, but I promise I can explain.
———
You wait. And wait. And wait. Jenna never texts you back. Dani leaves you to your own devices after another hour, assuring you everything is going to be okay.
You’re catatonic, lying on your couch, waiting for the void to swallow you up. You don’t blame Jenna for being wary. You’re angry with yourself for not telling her about it. You’re angry with yourself that it happened in the first place. 
You’ve given up hope that you’d get a response around 10, so when your doorbell rings at 11, you nearly fall off your couch in surprise. It couldn’t be Jenna. It’s far too late for her to be out running around in LA. You wonder if it’s a lost DoorDasher as you walk to your door. You don’t even bother to check yourself in the mirror, knowing full well you look rough.
You open the door, and your eyes travel down, squinting in the dark. Your heart nearly leaps from your throat when you see her. Jenna is there in denim shorts and an oversized hoodie, the hood pulled over her hair.
She’s chewing on her lip, shifting from side to side, and wringing her hands. 
“You came,” you say, your voice cracking.
“I came,” she says, her voice soft.
You step to the side and let her in, closing the door behind her. You show her to the living room, invite her to sit. She looks unsure, nervous. It makes you feel sick to your stomach.
“Do you want anything to drink?” You ask, hovering at the side of the couch.
She shakes her head, no, so you sit next to her, your heart racing. She leans into you a little, and it makes you feel warm. Calmer. She gazes at you, her eyes searching your face. You know what she’s looking for. She’s trying to figure out how you’re capable of doing what you did. What the switch that flipped was. 
“Thank you for coming,” you say, fighting the urge to reach for her.
“I just really don’t understand why you didn’t tell me, Y/N.” Her brows furrow over her eyes, her lips tight.
You run your shaking fingers through your hair, trying to figure out where to start.
“I was going to. I planned on it. I just, didn’t know how.”
She nods, glances past you at your porch, “Can I smoke?”
You turn to the porch, then back to her. She looks stressed, tired. 
You stand, “Of course. We can talk outside.”
You settle in at the small two-person table, push an ashtray over to her. She lights a cigarette, and you catch the slightest tremble of her hand.
“Okay, I’m just going to rip this band-aid off, and if you hate me, or don’t want to see me again and you have to leave, I understand. But I really hope you stay.”
She takes a drag, nodding, becoming visibly more relaxed. You half want to ask for a cigarette yourself, but you need to get this explanation out before you lose the small spark of bravery that’s steadily fading in your chest.
You take a deep breath, nod, “Okay. So you know I’m a nature photographer now, but that’s not always what I’ve wanted to do.”
Her eyes are wide, her body leaning into the table, her full attention on you. You gulp at the intensity of it.
“I’ve done a lot of work in Hollywood, when I was first getting started. I’ve dealt with paparazzi for so long it’s ridiculous. So a few years ago, I was doing this shoot with an actress, and she was just kind of breaking out, so they followed her everywhere.”
Now you’re the one wringing your hands, your bravery withering under Jenna’s stare. She nods, silently encouraging you to go on.
“It had been a hassle all day, trying to get her in and out of the building. There was this one guy, he was way too aggressive. Her body guards weren’t the best, the fame boom was still new. So I was trying to help her leave the building, one of the paps got around the guard and grabbed her.”
Jenna frowns, blinking quickly and blowing smoke from the side of her mouth. You rush into the story, wanting to get the words about as fast as you can.
“It was too much. I was fed up. I’ve been watching these guys for years, and some of the stuff they do is just disgusting. I know I don’t have to tell you that, but I’d had enough. He grabbed her, and I just saw red.”
“What did you do?” Jenna asks, her voice quiet.
“I hit him. He wouldn’t let go of her, so I hit him. I got a little carried away and broke his camera. He pressed charges and naturally refused to drop them. The judge took pity on me, given the circumstance, and just had me pay a fine. But I got slapped with the assault charge and decided I was done with Hollywood.”
Jenna is quiet, her cigarette nothing but ash and filter now. Her face is unreadable as she stares at you. You begin to fidget, waiting for her to respond. Every muscle in your body is wound so tight you’re afraid you might break.
She calmly stubs out the smoldering cigarette filter, stands, and you’re sure she’s going to walk out of your door and never look back. You wouldn’t blame her if she did. Once again, you’re dead wrong.
She moves around the table, stands over you, looking down at you for a painfully long moment. Then she places both hands around your face and kisses you with a fever you hadn’t expected. She tastes like smoke and wintergreen, her hands like embers around your jaw. 
Your hands find her hips, and you pull her in, stretching up to meet her lips. You’re slightly confused, but that is wiped clean from your mind when she runs her tongue across your bottom lip, her hands sliding back into the hair at the nape of your neck, her nails lightly scratching at your skin. You whimper at the pure relief you feel and at the burning in your stomach.
She pulls back, standing upright again, “You should have hit him harder.”
Your jaw drops, and she smiles down at you. She wraps her arms around the back of your neck and sits sideways in your lap. 
“You could have told me, you know,” her lips are so close to yours, her eyes soft.
“I would have, eventually. It just wasn’t my finest moment, and I didn’t want you to think I was some kind of bar fighting idiot.”
She laughs, and it makes you feel like you’re falling through lightheaded oblivion.
“You are going to make Sam’s life very difficult.”
You scoff, “She’s your publicist!”
She chuckles, “And now the world will know I’m not as sweet and innocent as they want me to be.”
Your stomach flips at her words, catching her meaning, “And why is that?”
She raises her eyebrows, smiling down at you, “Because I’m dating the photographer who fucked up a pap, and I’m pretty proud of her for it.”
You don’t have any words to banter back with, so you settle with kissing her again. Your hands grow bold, wandering up her leg, over her hip, around her ribs. 
“Wait, dating now, huh?” you say, pulling back and trying not to smile as she leans forward into you.
She shrugs, her eyes low-lidded, “They want us to define the relationship.”
You swallow, nearly choking on her straightforward attitude, “What would the definition be?”
She snorts, leaning forward to speak into your lips, “Let’s find out.”
1K notes · View notes
woniverse-writes · 7 months
Text
"Moth to a Flame (part 5)"
Bada Lee x Reader
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part 4 ⟵ part 5 ⟶ part 6
series masterlist
summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.
word count: 6k
warnings: swearing, angst, y/n is a little psycho asshole in this chapter, but like- bada.... eeh scary, a lot of plot changes cuz I like playing the victim lol, not proofread, ending was kind of rushed, nothing i write is a reflection of anyone's true character and is a work of total fiction
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Shortly after Rie Hata’s message finished playing on the monitors all teams wrapped up their fun and began heading back to the studio to begin preparing for the mega crew mission. They all dry their hair and get changed, reapplying their makeup to prepare for filming again, when the host appears with another message. He congratulates the remaining teams for surviving, and at the mention of Tsubakill’s elimination y/n and the rest of Jam Republic immediately frown. 
Daniel continues to explain the mission and informs them that there will be three different concepts that they have to use, but the way they will be decided is by group discussion. On top of that team Bebe has the benefit of going straight for whatever concept they want without discussion. The three creative prompts consisted of ‘outdoor’, ‘structure’, and ‘all gender’. 
“Ooh we could definitely do something sick with structures” Audrey perked up and her partner-in-crime nodded in agreement before speaking
“Yeah but honestly I think we could do well with any of these…” y/n countered smirking cockily prompting Emma to hum and hold out her hand for a high five.
“I personally feel like we should go for outdoors. I already have so many ideas for what we could do and I know some of you do too…” the leader chimed in, eyeing Ling and Y/n at the mention of other members having ideas. They decide to have their three creative directors be Kirsten, Ling, and Y/n and the three begin coming up with their own separate ideas, with the help of another member. 
When the crew came back together after a few moments of planning and creative briefing, they all shared their ideas. Kirsten came up with the idea of showcasing the beauty of New Zealand since it was most of their crew’s homeland- she wanted to shoot on the beach and have the rocks behind them. Ling’s idea was to take more of an approach that would appeal to their Korean audience, by incorporating more K-pop dance styles and music and shooting in the heart of the city with all the lights in the back. Everyone really liked both ideas, but y/n’s quickly became their favorite when she explained it.
“Okay so this might be too much, and could easily get muddled- but what if we did a sports theme? Like- we each represent a different sport or activity while also representing our culture or background… each of us could get a highlight and we’d all have our “teams” that would dance in our own styles- then we’d all come together in the end as a sort of pep-rally type thing…” y/n finished off the basic ideas of her take, and everyone immediately either nodded or clapped, thoroughly impressed with how quickly she had come up with such an elaborate idea.
“And this is exactly why you’re here girlfriend- forever a genius…” the leader nodded and smiled at her youngest, clapping her hands slowly and appreciatively. It was an idea that could work with all three concepts so the team decided to mark y/n’s as the top choice as of right now.
When all the teams gathered to pick their concept Jam Republic and Bebe were the only groups that chose something other than ‘structure’, Jam Republic sticking to their outdoor idea and Bebe going with the all gender category. After the pink team explained why they picked what they did, it caused Deep n Dap to change their pick to outdoor as well, saying it was because they felt their crew could easily rival Jam Republic, which caused Kirsten to maturely and professionally nod, while y/n covered her mouth and snickered.
After Jam Republic has guaranteed themselves a spot in the outdoor concept, they head back to their team hideout and begin to plan out their ideas in full. Y/n already begins to map out choreography for her and Ling’s sections, while Emma does the same for herself and Audrey, leaving Kirsten and Latrice to pair up. The girls decided to head back to New Zealand and take advantage of the scenery as part of the expression of their members’ culture. It was a nice blend of y/n and Kirsten’s concepts. 
______
Y/n and Bada hadn’t really talked much since they began preparing for the Mega Crew mission, both focusing on their team’s success. Although they still texted daily, sometimes it was only a quick good morning or goodnight, while other times they had fuller conversations.
‘Have a safe flight, text me when you land plz!’ y/n read the message right before she got on the plane. She felt her heart swell at the little gesture of care, hearting the message and replying with a selfie of her in the airport paired with the words ‘thank you lovey, I will <3’.
Jam Republic boarded their plane and took off from South Korea to New Zealand, with many plans already going wrong as soon as the plane was in the air. You see, they had just been informed of how bad the weather was in the area, then about how many of the dancers they called for wouldn’t be able to make it. Each member was responsible for contacting and securing 10 members to come dance with them, explaining how the show would be paying for their trip and all the dancers had to do was show up and give it their best. It started off really well, with each of them actually coming back with more than 10 dancers. Then the weather hit. Flights were canceled or delayed to the point where people wouldn’t make it in enough time to learn the dance. On top of that, their idea to shoot at the beach was totally scrapped due to the intense winds. With the major setbacks of losing over half their dancers and not being able to use their original scene, the girls had to redo choreography and practically start the whole project over.
“This can’t be happening…” y/n was the first to start spiraling, ever the drama queen- but this time it was very justified. All six members of the crew stood in a circle in the middle of the studio floor, eyes flitting back and forth between each other and their leader, who was staring at the floor deep in thought. Kirsten let out a huge sigh and crossed her arms tensely.
“I’m sorry girls… but I really don’t know what we’re gonna do…” the leader ran her hands down her face and let out another deep breath, turning away for a moment with her hands on her hips. At that moment, the youngest realized how serious the situation really was, seeing as her leader wasn’t presenting her usual calm self. Typically when there was an issue, Kirsten was calm, cool, and collected- even if it seemed unsolvable… she always had an answer no matter what.
y/n being the perfectionist she is, began racking her brain for any possible solutions, already feeling her lungs begin to collapse at the possibility of complete failure. On top of being a perfectionist, the young girl also had a pretty bad case of savior complex, feeling like she had to fix everyone’s problems, especially when there was no one else who could- even if she knew that she herself probably wouldn’t be able to fix it either (at least not without bending over backward and bleeding herself dry). 
“No… no we can easily fix this-” all eyes went to the youngest member who ran off to grab all their notebooks and bring them back over to where the crew still stood. She spread them out, riffling through the pages until she found ideas they could use. 
“We can still use the stadium… it won’t be as grand of a scale as we wanted, but that can still work. And- and we can make it related to New Zealand instead of all of our different backgrounds, so it’s easier to put together and less choreography to make up… we can fix this!” y/n was frantically and hopefully (delusionally) explaining her ideas, trying as hard as she could to bring the team’s morale back up. They sat down in their circle and began connecting the ideas, just hoping for the best at this point
Even though the Jam Republic girls were frustrated, they only let it fuel their will to work even harder. It crushed y/n a little to have to scrap her idea, knowing it would’ve brought them an easy win, but she was determined to make their new routine strong. The team had ultimately decided to keep the athletic theme but changed it quite a bit to highlight rugby which was a big part of New Zealand culture. The girls planned on dancing in the bleachers and on the field to portray a Friday night lights feel, or a game- since it technically was still a competition between them and deep n dap.
A few days go by and it isn’t getting any easier for Jam Republic. As much as they try to stay positive, the insane lack of dancers makes it hard to achieve the impact they’re going for. Y/n kept saying how they needed to keep trying to find more dancers, but Kirsten just wanted to focus on perfecting the routine with what they had. The young girl also kept mentioning little ideas and elements to add in order to amplify the concept they were going for, but again the leader was more focused on solidifying the present piece. Y/n ended up getting so frustrated that she would just randomly start tearing up and crying during their breaks, not allowing herself to stop for more than 30 seconds, grabbing a quick sip of water, and then immediately going back to practicing. She thought that maybe if she gave it her all, she wouldn’t be as disappointed in herself when she wasn’t satisfied with the outcome. 
Of course, all of the girls were on edge but they at least were able to put it aside at some moments, still being able to enjoy parts of the process. y/n tried her best not to let her teammates see how anxious and worked up she was, but the girl was so overwhelmed with fear of failure that it would be impossible for anyone not to see it. Which is why it made everything so much worse for her when she continued to go through the rest of the preparation without a single person asking what was wrong. Y/n understood- really, she did. Everyone needed to focus on the end goal, and that meant there wasn’t time to deal with her feelings.
Bada was beginning to worry, seeing as the last response she had gotten from y/n was days ago. The girl had landed her flight and texted the Bebe leader immediately, letting her know she was safe, but also explaining the problems that had already arisen. They talked briefly about how the pink team was likely going to have to restart everything if the weather didn’t ease up. Then a couple of days later, they talked on the phone about the complete concept change and reboot of their whole routine. Y/n tried to keep her stress to a minimum, not wanting to be a burden to the other girl who was also beginning to get stressed. 
It had been many days since then, and she’d texted the younger girl three separate times as well as tried calling her twice. Bada finally got a response the day before Jam Republic would be flying back to Korea for the midterm mission check, where they as well as the other teams would be reviewing each other’s practice videos of the choreography. It had been a somewhat longer text message reading ‘hi. I’m really sorry for not responding at all for the last few days. I know you’re probably just as stressed as i am, so I’m sorry for not being able to be there. Things haven’t been going good over here and I’m honestly really scared to present what we have… but I’m sure everything will be fine haha. How have you been?’
Bada felt her heart clench at the girl’s words, understanding why she wasn’t responding but still feeling a bit upset nonetheless. It hurt her to see y/n try to brush off her stress and redirect her attention so it would focus on caring for others instead of caring for herself.
Jam Republic arrives back in South Korea and heads straight to the studio to film their reactions and judgments of the other teams. They immediately make their way to their pink hideout passing by other crews, but not having time to mingle or really do anything more than smile and wave. The girls were exhausted from the flight, jetlag, and overworking themselves. y/n didn’t even realize team Bebe wasn’t with the rest of the crews when they passed through the lobby.
Bebe sat in their room, feeling more anxious than usual, a bad vibe floating through the air. No one could quite put their finger on it, but something definitely wasn’t right and it was causing all of the members to feel its effects. It officially came time for all crews to review each dance practice video. Each team’s video played one by one and the members had time to fill out the review cards before moving on to the next. 
Bebe’s video played next and the reactions were not positive, to say the least. Everyone seemed disappointed by the piece as a whole, expecting something much bigger- the music was too big of a risk, the props were poorly utilized, and it was overall just too simple. It wasn’t a bad video- it just didn’t meet anyone’s expectations since they were all waiting for some elaborate project, knowing Bada was very capable of doing so. Shortly after, a similar reaction was felt while everyone watched the Jam Republic video.
“They don’t have enough people…” Mina Myoung was the first to observe the team’s lack of crew members. They even paused the video to count how many were shown, seeing 28, which was under the minimum limit of 30 people.
“It honestly isn’t powerful enough… it’s just not impressive” Buckey commented, crossing her arms over her chest. Yoonji sighed and frowned.
“This is so sad… I was really rooting for them” The girl mumbled, genuinely feeling pity for the international team, hoping they’d be able to pull through.
When it came down to voting for the team that should be eliminated, Jam Republic ultimately chose Bebe. They were originally tied between voting for Bebe and Wolf'lo, with y/n fighting her best fight to vote for Wolf'lo because it just didn't look entertaining to her and they had no story or plot.
"y/n…" Kirsten started off in a warning but gentle tone
"We can’t just not pick Bebe because of you and Bada… this is a competition babe." and y/n was kinda hurt by that because she knows how to be objective and she didn't even think she was biasing Bebe- she just personally didn't like Wolf'lo and thought they should be eliminated over any other team.
Then it finally came down to the results. Each team would be given a scorecard showing the comments and feedback they’d received from the others. One card would reveal the team voted as most likely to place first, and another would reveal who was most likely to be eliminated. When Jam Republic opens their card, it felt like all of the air suddenly got sucked out of the room. 
“God DAMN” Audrey laughed humorlessly in absolute shock, as they all stared at the words ‘MOST AT RISK FOR ELIMINATION’ in big bold letters at the top. y/n stopped breathing for a few seconds and she’s pretty sure everyone else did too, seeing as there was not a single sound to be heard in the dressing room. The young girl once again tried to convince herself to think rationally, but couldn’t get past the anxiety and crushing weight of failure that was starting to fill her lungs. She wasn’t even angry, even though she should’ve been because she understood. y/n understood that they didn’t meet the criteria, and their dance simply wasn’t as put together as it should've been, especially in comparison to other teams/
What really got her emotional was realizing that Bebe- that BADA- voted for them too… it felt like such betrayal and she wore that shit on her face like usual. But still- she didn't feel angry, just betrayed and heartbroken, and really fucking disappointed. The more mature and logical side of y/n was still trying not to jump to conclusions because maybe it wasn’t Bada that decided… Maybe it was the same situation her team had going on- maybe Bada didn’t want to vote for Jam Republic but the majority of others did. Y/n truly did understand everyone’s reasoning, but that didn’t make it hurt any less, especially having Bada vote to eliminate her as well
“It’s gonna be okay lovey… I promise” Kirsten wrapped her arm around the youngest’s shoulders and whispered reassuringly to her as she watched her begin to have a mental breakdown. Moments later, the rest of the crew’s ranking was revealed, showing 1 Million in first and Jam Republic in last, but also- Bebe in sixth, the second to last place. Seeing this, Bada sighed and began to have her own slight mental breakdown.
Some teams celebrated their rankings while others sat quietly, reviewing the feedback and pondering what to do. Jam Republic sat in silence as Kirsten read over the comments. Y/n sat by her side with her head in her hands sobbing silently, so overwhelmed that she didn’t know what to do. The entire team was at a loss, and soon Kirsten started crying too, wrapping and arm around the youngest members, who finally let her emotions be shown to her team. The loud cries were the only sound in the room.
Y/n was able to calm herself down after about 20 minutes of crying. The poor girl felt so awful about how things were going feeling responsible for a lot of it- thinking that maybe if she had pushed her ideas a little more, or gotten in contact with more people, or even just tried a little harder, maybe Jam Republic could’ve done so much better. Even though she’s calmed down, tears still flow down her face without her even realizing it. Y/n was never angry at anyone else for their opinions, but now she’s feeling awfully spiteful towards herself. The youngest member was filled with so much resentment and self-hatred, that it immediately sent her into an inescapable depression.
The show writers and staff were cruel. So cruel for making these girls show off their inspiration boards and creative briefs live in front of the other teams. Each team explains their given concept and how they came up with the details to highlight what they chose. While it was much more of a relaxed environment (in the sense that there would be no feedback or ranking based on this), a majority of contestants were nowhere near feeling at ease. 
The members of Jam Republic were able to build themselves back up and put on their game faces while presenting, except for y/n. She really did try her best to not look like she was about to cry at the drop of a hat, but it was no use. The girl was simply not herself. The small girl’s usually bright and energetic personality was nowhere to be found, not once cracking even a hint of a smile- even when Jam Republic received immense praise for their ideas. She didn’t find any enjoyment in the other crew’s presentations, although to be fair she wasn’t really able to focus on them- she just sat there in a daze.
It made everyone nervous to see Jam Republic’s youngest member like this. Her members noticed that she had become even more irritable than before- but now in a scary way that genuinely had them concerned for themselves and everyone else. The girl was calm but you could just feel the rage and depression and resentment radiating off of her to the point it made chills run down your spine.
_________
After every crew had shared their ideas and idea boards, they were allowed to go back to head back to their hideouts to discuss any adjustments or further plans that had to be made before returning to their projects. Jam Republic had to get right back on a plane in a few hours to head back to New Zealand and somehow fix their entire routine, again.
Y/n just finished walking up the staircase leading from the fight zone to the crew lounges, when she heard someone call out her name from closely behind her. The girl turned around to come face to face with the tall leader she had been talking with for the last few months.
“Hey, are you okay? I called your name like three times…” Bada questioned worriedly, her eyebrows furrowed and head tilted as she waited for the younger girl’s response, with wide caring eyes.
“...I'm just really tired” y/n whispered in the meekest voice possible, already feeling her eyes start to sting again, but trying to cover it up with a smile. Bada sighs and pulls her into a big hug, and surprisingly y/n doesn’t burst into tears. The girl continues to try as hard as possible to keep the droplets from escaping her eyes as she squeezes them shut.
“Look… I’m really sorry” the older of the two began resting her head atop y/n’s, but the shorter one felt her body tense at the apology already not liking where the conversation was headed. y/n let go of Bada’s waist and backed away, waiting for the older girl to continue.
“It wasn’t personal… the dance was still very good, and it’ll look even better with all of the ideas planned out!” she finished, referring to how her team had voted Jam Republic as the worst crew. Y/n’s face lost any emotion she had regained, looking empty and exhausted again, making Bada’s skin prickle.
“no, I understand” was all y/n spoke, already trying to disconnect from reality to save herself from crying again or making a bigger fool out of herself than she already has. But Bada is only more upset by the reaction, seeing as y/n just doesn’t seem at all like herself. The girl genuinely looks empty inside and no one on the show has ever seen her like this, in fact- no one in Jam Republic has even seen her like this and they’re all beginning to become extremely worried about her. And even though it’s clear the small girl just needs time and space, Bada decides to keep talking 
“The vote was objective I promise, I don’t want you to think anything personally of it” At the end of the older girl’s sentence, y/n just felt the tiniest bit of a scowl make its way onto her face, feeling pissed off at the thought of someone once again thinking she doesn’t understand the concept of a competition.
“Obviously- I’m not stupid, this is a competition.” the harsh tone that comes out of the younger really throws Bada for a loop because she has never seen y/n speak to or about anyone like this- and it makes her feel sick to her stomach that her first time witnessing it is directed at her.
“I- no, what? Of course you’re not stupid! I just wanted to make sure… to make sure you knew. That’s all.” Bada started off a bit panicked and emotional but quickly was able to calm down and speak rationally, understanding the younger girl was known to have a bit of a temper. There was a long silent pause.
"did you decide on Jam Republic?" y/n asked a bit accusatorily
"Huh?" the older tilted her head, still absolutely confused about how this situation was occurring right now.
"did YOU, as in yourself, Bada Lee, decide to vote Jam Republic as the team to be eliminated, or was it someone else's idea…" There was silence for a moment before Bada sighed then pursed her lips
"We all decided-" 
"but who's idea was it? Did you even argue it? Were you even thinking of anyone else? Or did you just immediately decide and agree that my team should be the next to go?" Bada didn’t say anything as she started to get a little frustrated, but she watched as y/n just scoffed at the lack of response and turned to walk away, rolling her eyes. Bada followed her and pulled her aside, a few feet away from the outside of Bebe's dressing room
"well you voted for my team as the worst, so how is this any fair at all?" the tall leader finally let her emotions take control of her as she shot back with much less frustration than her counterpart, but still irritated nonetheless.
"because I didn't want to vote for you! I fought to vote Wolf'lo over you guys because I know you don't deserve to go home! I understand it from an objective perspective- I promise Bada, I do- but that doesn't make it hurt any less!" There were a few beats of silence before y/n continued
"and it's honestly really infuriating that you don't think I understand that this is a competition-" she finished off quieter than before but still filled with annoyance and betrayal.
"WOAH- now when did I EVER say that??" now it was Bada’s turn to blow up
 "Oh my god- you don't have to say it! You clearly think I'm just here to have fun and make friends!" y/n once again raised her voice, this time rising in pitch as well.
"Why would you say that??" Bada fired back and was immediately met with the calmest tone of voice y/n had spoken in since the argument began, and it terrified her.
"Bada- you haven't seen me as a threat once this entire competition… have you? Not to you, not to your team…" Bada stuttered for a second, completely blindsided by the argument
"where is this all coming from y/n?" the tall girl asked, genuinely concerned. y/n sighed and her eyes softened, shook her head.
"never mind" She turned and went to walk away, but Bada grabbed her by the wrist again and dragged her inside the blue team room, closing the door behind her
"you need to speak to me. You need to communicate with me what's going on right now because whatever you're feeling is totally valid- we had a rough day out there- fuck, we’ve had a rough few days, especially you- but that doesn't mean you get to take it out on me… so please tell what's wrong, so I can try to help." the older girl calmly and gently explained her thoughts and feelings to the girl in front of her, and y/n almost cracked. almost.
“I think it’s best for me to focus on the competition… building relationships clearly isn’t working out to my benefit" Her previously soft and watery eyes, had quickly cleared up within a few seconds, leaving her looking cold and unapproachable again. The response was petty and childish, y/n herself knew that, but she said to hurt Bada. 
why do you want to hurt Bada? She was apologizing, why are you making this harder? You’re being childish and proving everyone right- you’re not fit for this competition, you’re too young y/n and you don’t know how to handle things when you actually need to.
The younger girl’s internal dialogue was emotional and resentful towards herself, but for once, the expression on her face didn’t show how she was truly feeling. The anger and hatred taking over her features wasn’t directed towards the older girl in front of her, which is what anyone witnessing the interaction would assume. y/n could feel her stomach churning and her face getting hot with embarrassment. She didn’t understand why she was acting like this and didn’t know how to get herself to stop.
It felt like hours had passed before Bada spoke again and when she did it was led by an aggressive scoff.
“You can’t be serious right now…” she challenged so calmly that it sent a chill up y/n’s spine, the younger girl’s resolve finally breaking down and it became apparent that she wasn’t actually as tough as she was trying to be. Bada could see the cold glare falter for a split second, watching as her eyes became full of emotion before the younger was able to reel it in again.
“Why wouldn’t I be serious? This is a competition and the only people I should be trusting are my teammates, I shouldn’t be letting my emotions get in the way of things…” y/n responded just as calmly. If anyone else were to be present for the interaction they probably would've froze to death due to how cold the two were being.
“Next time I'll make sure to vote objectively and solely based on what I see in front, instead of trying to think about who deserves to be here more.” she finished with an empty, tight-lipped smile, tilting her head feigning understanding, and Bada let out a humorless chuckle
“God- have you always been this manipulative?” it was her turn to try and hurt the other girl. y/n’s cocky grin dropped immediately and she straightened up entirely.
“Excuse me?” the younger girl furrowed her brows and scowled again
“You heard me…” Bada replied cooly and nonchalantly as if this were any other normal conversation 
“I came to you, apologizing for what I did and your response to that is to start an argument- and THEN when you realize you’re in the wrong, you try to turn it on me?” the older girl finished, voice rising slightly
“I never turned it on you- I said how I needed to focus on the competition and stop being so friendly with everyone, how are you so self-absorbed to think that was about you?” y/n could barely even get her last word out before the other was shouting over her.
“BECAUSE IT WAS- it so obviously was a dig at me y/n, because who else are you close with? Huh??” the volume of Bada’s voice caused the younger girl to flinch, no longer being able to preserve her emotions. The tall girl took a few steps forward and leaned down, getting in y/n’s face.
“Who else can actually stand being around you…” shot after shot fired, Bada was doing a much better job at hurting y/n than y/n was doing hurting Bada. She wasn’t even thinking about how she used to tell herself that she would never be the reason y/n would be crying, and now here she is, feeling satisfied when she sees a single tear run down the girl's face. She wasn’t paying attention to how it sucked all the air out of her lungs and made her stomach turn in disgust, only noticing the minuscule feeling of satisfaction.
“I think it’s so funny how you say that, knowing damn well you get jealous any time someone even looks at me… you know better than anybody that anyone in this fucking place would love to be in your position-” and this caused Bada to let out a loud laugh of disbelief, backing away slightly before getting right back in her face
“Yeah? Then how come nobody even paid attention to you until I took notice… you know that’s the only reason you’re popular, right? If it had been anyone else, no one would’ve cared… admit it to yourself, nobody wants to be in my place y/n- they all wanna be in yours, so maybe think about how lucky you are…” Bada didn’t believe in a single thing that was coming out of her mouth, she honestly couldn’t even believe her own voice hearing how condescending and spiteful the words sounded as they left her lips. She could feel a slight ringing in her ears, part of her brain processing it as a tiny voice screaming at her to stop and that she was making a mistake. But the damage was already done.
Y/n was barely holding back tears anymore, pursing her lips and clenching her jaw did nothing to stop the flow of salty droplets from streaming down her face. Her nostrils flared slightly as she swallowed down sobs and tightly closed her eyes.
“I’m not having this conversation anymore…” she managed to get the words out without sounding horribly choked up as she turns away to leave, hand about to turn the knob as the older girl lets out another dry chuckle.
“Oh so now you wanna act mature? Let me tell you this isn’t the mature way to handle the situation anymore- you don’t know how to talk to people or resolve conflict, in fact you’re NOT confrontational at all, and are really just a scared little girl who’s all bark and no bite. You’re such a child- that’s all you are- is a FUCKING child…” it’s dead silent after Bada’s done screaming at her. Y/n turns around slowly and just stands there for a moment with a blank stare, then lets out the most dry, humorless laugh. It honestly scares the shit out of the older girl, eyes going wide and face paling, coming to her senses and realizing how fucked the situation was. 
Y/n was smiling and laughing, albeit a little psychotically, all while still crying- she had finally snapped, and Bada was terrified. The girl in front of her could easily be a danger to herself, and possibly others in the state she was in, but all the leader could think about was how there was probably no coming back from this. The younger of the two just closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them and nodding at Bada with a tight-lipped smile, taking a deep breath.
“Okay” y/n smiles painfully as tears continue to run down her face- she turns around, swings the door open, and slams it shut as she walks out. The silence that followed was broken only seconds later as Bada heard the sobs that were almost immediately released by the girl who had just left.
y/n hadn’t even noticed the rest of Bada’s team standing around the corner, as she walked in the other direction to head back to her own room. Once she was far enough away, Lusher led the group quietly into their space seeing their leader sat on the couch with her head in her hands.
“Hey…” she speaks quietly, and Bada looks up with an empty look in her eyes, but tries to hide it when she realizes her team is present. Before she can even try to pretend nothing happened, the sub-leader was speaking up again
“We heard everything…” Bada sighed and felt tears pricking her eyes, disappointment and heartbreak finally taking over as she realized how fucked up the things she said were. The younger members sat around their leader and rubbed her arm or leg while they all watched with sad eyes as she sobbed. This was going to be a rough next few days.
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notes: i'm so sorry...
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fictionalgap · 5 months
Text
Roommate: Too Whipped (chapter 3)
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Pairing: Hazel Callahan x Reader
Summary: You can't get Hazel out of your head.
Warning: 18+ Themes
Warning: +18 themes, swearing, sexual themes
Other Chapters: Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5
Song Recommendation: I Want To Be With You - Chloe Moriondo
You had two classes today and you had a four hours break. Your only option was library. Hazel had swimming practice during your break. It was one hour. Unfortunately swimming team was always going to gym before the classes so It's three hours If you count the shower and etc. You knew PJ and Josie had classes during that time. Your classmates didn't take the class you had earlier so they usually don't show up before evening class starts.
You went to your favorite spot in the library, at the corner and next to the window where you recently had the knowledge that Hazel can see you from there. You didn't felt like studying so you picked up a book you've been wanting to read for a long time.
You didn't know how much time has passed until you felt someone tap on your shoulder.
You turned around to see Hazel, whose smile met her eyes.
"Hey." your bored mood vanished.
"Hi." She said as she sat on the chair next to you.
"What are you reading? " she whispered.
You showed her the cover of the book you've been reading.
"I didn't feel like studying. Wait- " You checked your watch.
"Aren't you supposed to be at practice? " you asked as you raised a brow.
"Someone suggested we separate gym and swimming hours. We only had swimming practice today.
" Oh... Is that good? "
"Yeah. It was pretty tiring to swim after gym."
"Oh than it's great." You nodded to her and smiled genuinely.
"Yeah." she smiled sweetly at you.
"And, and also we can study together, because I will be leaving early and-, I mean If that's what you want and If you don't have anyone to, to,to hang out and maybe-"
"Yeah, I'd love to, Hazel. Studying, hangout or whatever. "
"Yeah...okay. " you could see that she was nervous.
You squeezed her arm lightly with a soft smile to make her less nervous.
She looked relieved and stared in your eyes for a while.
"Yeah so, what do you want to do now? " you cleared your throat and pulled your hand from her arm.
"I don't know. What do you want to do? "
"Did you study earlier? "
"Nah. I mean a little but I think there are some things I need to look... "
"Cool. Okay I can review my notes too. Maybe for a while then we can go for a walk around campus. I have a class later. Or, or you can stay here and keep studying since it's hard to study at home." you pouted, remembering your evening class.
You hated evening classes. You were too tired to get anything in your head.
"That's alright... Maybe we can study now and then go for a walk. Later, you go to your class and I'll study here and maybe we'll go home together."
You blinked a few times.
"Yeah, I mean, If that's what you want. " you put a soft smile on your face.
"Yeah... " She said and opened her backpack and took a notebook out.
You took your book out of your backpack and started studying as Hazel did.
~~~
You went out of your class with your classmates, tired. You were all talking about the upcoming group project. You saw Hazel at the corner, waiting for you. You couldn't help but blush when see her there waiting, only for you. You said goodbye to your classmates and walked to her.
"Hey."
"Hey. You look overwhelmed."
"I am overwhelmed. It's an evening class and our professor gave us a group project. We have to speak in front of whole class. Who wants to speak in front of whole class."
"Wow... that's overwhelming."
"I know...and that's not the worst part!"
"What's the worst part? "
"I blush so much when I speak in front of a crowd. My cheeks look like tomatoes."
Hazel chuckled to your reply.
"What? It's not funny. I am going to look like a loser. "
"First, I personally love it when you blush. You look so cute. Second, you can't look like a loser cause you are not one."
Hazel called you cute. Hazel called you cute. Hazel called you cute. Hazel called you cute. Hazel call-
"You only say that cause you are my friend. "
"Best friend and no, I don't. It's my honest idea but I think, If that's the part you are afraid of, you know, the speaking in front of whole class part, you can practice with me and maybe that'll help with your fear and blushing."
'How could someone be so fucking nice?' you thought.
Only Hazel. She was so sweet, kind, caring, adorable and cute. She was like a marshmallow sweet, fluff, soft and yummy. You wanted to know what she taste like down th-
"Y/N? " she blinked at you.
"Hazel?" you started at her, confused.
"You kinda froze for minute. Are you okay? " she asked, worried.
'Fuck.' you cursed to yourself.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm just tired. Just want to go home that's all. " you tried to hide your blush with your folder.
"Okay." She said and you knew she was smiling from her tone of voice.
'Dammit. Did she think I thought of her?' You groaned mentally.
~~~
You went home to see PJ and Josie laying on the couch while watching a movie.
"And now you came home together, huh. Since both of you are the commitment type, I hear wedding bells. " She raised her brow, smirking.
"Josie, push a pillow on her face till she can't breathe for me, will you? "
"My pleasure. " Josie said cheerfully.
Next thing you now there was a serious pillow fight in your living room. It wasn't like cute sleepover pillow fight. It was kind of a eat shit kind of a pillow fight. Concussion is included kinda pillow fight.
You went straight to your room and changed into pajamas. Then you joined the pillow fight too. Then Hazel joined too.
After a while, you were pretty tired from fighting. Others seemed pretty tired too.
"Should we like... order pizza? " Hazel asked.
"Yes! "you three shouted.
You ate your pizzas and watched another movie. Eventually, you all went to bed.
You saw Hazel in your dream. You were in your living room and you felt her kiss you, her hands on your both cheeks. You even felt the cold metal of her rings. When she pulled she beamed at you. Then PJ came out of nowhere and clashing both pans in her hands with an annoying smile. Hazel vanished.
"What the fuck!"
"We are celebrating!"
"Celebrating what?"
"The fact that you're gonna make a fool of yourself in front of whole class! " she said and then started to laugh maniacally. Just like the villan in stories.
Then Josie came who was wearing a suit and sunglasses like in the movie 'Men In Black' and pulled a small box out of her denim's pocket and squeezed her into the box.
"Sorry for her. I try to keep her in the place but she gets out of my hands from time to time."
You couldn't say anything.
"Anyways, bye." She left just like that.
She didn't even use the machine to make you forget for seeing them...
"Okay... That's not weird at all."
"What's weird is... that you still don't go down on me, Y/N..." Hazel's voice came from behind.
You turned back to see Hazel standing, lust filled in her eyes.
'Fuck.' you thought.
'Yes. We should definitely do that. Fucking. ' She was smiling mischievously.
You froze to what she said. You only thought that.
"The thing about dreams Y/N..." She slowly make the gap between you smaller. You could feel your heart in your ears. "They are part of your thoughts so they know your other thoughts too and I know you want me." She took your hand and put it on her vagina and suddenly she was naked.
Oh my god. You never saw her naked. It was your mind's doing. You were touching her naked vagina while she was naked in front of you. Naked.
You gulped nervously.
"If you want to go down on me, go down on me Y/N. It's all yours. " she said and left you there only to lay down on the couch of the living room. She opened her legs as she was waiting for you.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
You felt her eyes on you as you got closer to her. Her chest slowly rising and falling with each breath. You sat between her legs. You were about to look at her vagina, of course the dream fucking had to end here.
You were having a sex dream about going down on Hazel and It had to end here.
Well, at least she kissed you. Even If it's in a dream...
You got up from your bed, feeling horny but you didn't want to masturbate. You felt frustrated that you couldn't just have sex with the gorgeous woman just a couple steps away from you. Masturbating while thinking of her, would make you feel hopeless and lonely.
You got up from your bed, got dressed and made your bed. You took your phone with you and walked to the kitchen. You decided to make some chocolate chip cookies.
Cause why not? Right?
You tried to do the recipe you know like the back of your hand as quiet as you can be, to not wake up your roommates.
You put them in the oven and then cleaned all of the stuff. When there was nothing left to do, you sat down next to the oven, watching cookies.
You liked to watch whatever you made transform in the oven. It was just so satisfying to see them how they change.
You saw Hazel with pjs coming to your direction. She kneeled on the floor next to oven, facing you.
"Cookies? This late?" she raised her brow with a side smile.
'You're the reason.' you wanted to say.
"Couldn't sleep."
"Oh... " She bit her lower lip.
You pulled your knees to your chest. Your back was facing the kitchen drawers.
"What about you?" You tilted your head to the side.
" I just woke up and smelled something amazing so, here I am." she smiled cheekily.
You grinned. "Flattery will get you nowhere."
She pouted to your answer.
"Are you saying you are not going to let me eat cookies?"
She looked at you with puppy eyes.
"Stop making that face... " you whisper-shouted.
"Or what?" she asked playfully.
This version of Hazel was one that got out of her sometimes. It was cocky and confident. You didn't see her showing this side of her to the others. Maybe the ones you don't know did know her this side. Maybe It was just for you.
It burned down there to know It was only for you.
You couldn't believe you were horny again. Just when you thought you could get rid off the feeling...
You couldn't answer to her question. Instead you looked at the oven and saw the cookies were about to burn If you wait another five minutes.
"Ow... " You stopped the oven and got up to take kitchen clothes for both of your hands to get the tray out of the oven without burning your hands.
"Can I help? " Hazel asked even though she knew the answer.
"I got it. " you said sweetly at her.
You put them on the counter and inhaled the magical smell.
"Can I have one? " Hazel stood next to you, her eyes wide and excited. Your arms were touching each other.
"It needs to cool down a little bit Hazel... then you can have as many as you'd like."
She grinned while looking at the cookies.
'Cookie Monster... ' you thought of her and smiled.
She was just so fucking adorable...You knew you would fight with everyone for her. Didn't matter If you got hurt or end up dead. You would do it for her. Knowing that she will keep smiling like that.
You took a cookie and broke it in half.
"Do we have milk? " you asked her.
Her eyes got wider at your question. " I think we do." she went to the fridge quickly and came back with milk box in her hand.
You took two glasses and placed them on the counter. She opened the milk and looked at you as she was asking what to do. You nodded and she poured down the white liquid.
You took the two halves of the cookie and dipped it in the milk and before you could put one in Hazel's mouth and she instinctively opened it wide for you. You were shocked how eager she was for cookie. You wondered If she could ever be eager for other things...
You ate the other half of the cookie. It was delicious. Also, cold milk made it eatable.
"Hmmm... I could eat this everyday. They are so delicious." she moaned while eating the cookie.
You wanted to kiss her cookie flavored mouth so bad right now. And cookie flavored other things...
Your head was filling with more dirty thoughts. As It wasn't dirty enough.
"It's not healthy to eat this every day but thank you. " you grinned quietly.
You wanted her. You wanted her lips. Her eyes on you. Her hands on you. Her breath on you. Her smell on you. Her voice in your ears. You wanted her to devour you. You wanted her to love you more than a friend. It was getting harder everyday. It hurt. It hurt wanting but not getting anything. Not knowing If she ever sees you in that way. Not knowing If she will ever love you in that way. More than a friend. You were longing for her love. She was giving it to you in most intimate ways that a friend ever can but you were greedy. You wanted more. More of her.
A wave of sadness came through and you didn't know you were crying until you saw Hazel's worried face and felt her hands on your arms.
"Y/N? What- what's wrong?"
"Hazel... " you managed to get out but you were sobbing and you hugged her without asking and of course she hugged you back tightly as you could fly away from her grasp.
"It's okay Y/N. Whatever it is, It's okay. We can figure out together, okay. Is-Is it t-the project, hm?" she tried to soothe you but you couldn't tell her. What If she didn't like you? What If she hated you after you confessed? Or what If she avoided you? What If she couldn't have feelings for you ever?
"You can talk to me Y/N. I-I don't want to pressure you but It seems like, whatever this is, makes you really upset and-and I want you to be okay."
You looked at her with teary eyes.
" What If I can't talk to you about it? "
"Well, uhm what about a professional? Maybe a psychologi-"
You couldn't stand this anymore. It felt too bad. Like life or death. It was now or never for you.
And you did it.
You kissed her cookie flavored mouth.
She stood there frozen for a minute, her hands in the air with an unreadable expression.
Your eyes began to tear up again and you looked down at your feet but you felt your chin being lifted up and a pair of hands covering your cheeks. Warm hands and cold rings, just like you imagined. Lastly, you felt her lips on your lips. Soft, sweet, plush and heavenly.
Her lips were everything at that moment.
You wanted more and craved more, immediately.
You tried to slide your tounge into her mouth and you felt her smile at what you were trying to do. She opened it for you eventually then you wasted no time to explore inside of her pretty mouth. There was no one trying to dominate the other. Just simply exploring and enjoying the feeling of tounges meeting each other.
Swirling, tasting and feeling.
Simply saying hi to each other.
364 notes · View notes
strangersmunsons · 2 months
Text
read 'em and weep #4
you hear some rumors about Eddie.
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Chapter 4 Eddie x Bookworm!Reader Series Read Ch. 3 -> Here!
Contains: Eddie x Reader, fem!bookworm!reader, mix of fluff and angst, lots of kisses, reader realizes she may not know as much about Eddie as she thinks she does (but don't worry, they're gonna be fine). Warnings: some nasty remarks are made about Eddie’s reputation. Word Count: ~4.6k I feel bad that all this wait has led to an angstier chapter, but I'm hoping the next part will be written sooner than this one was!
“I disagree.” 
“Look, The Shining is really good, I like it! I just don’t think it’s his best book.”
“I’d take more stock in your opinion if you weren’t putting It at the top of your list. Great book, but such a terrible ending.”
Eddie holds a hand up like he’s swearing an oath. “I’ll admit that it isn’t a perfect book, but it’s still some of the best writing Stephen King’s ever done.” Then he grimaces. “The notable exception being that…one scene in the sewer, um…I don’t really think it needed to be in there.”
Your nose wrinkles in distaste, knowing exactly which scene he’s referring to. “I read that ABC is making a TV show out of it — I’m sure they’ll cut that part out.”
He laughs. “I think he was doing a lot of coke back then.”
Eddie is playing for you chauffeur today. Once again, after a late night he coaxed you into staying over at his place — but instead of just  dropping you at home the next morning and then leaving, he waited patiently for you in your living room while you got cleaned up and changed, before driving you to work.
“Although, now that I’m thinking about it,” he muses, “maybe The Stand is number one for me.”
You concur. “Oooh, good one!”
“Did you know,” he exclaims, suddenly excited, dark eyes shining, “that Ride the Lightning by Metallica is a reference to a line from The Stand?” 
You search for familiarity in the phrase, and don’t find it. “It is?”
“Yeah, there’s a guy on death row who says it when he’s talking about the electric chair. That's why there's a picture of one on the album."
“Huh. Cool.”
Eddie snubs his cigarette out against the library’s exterior brick wall as you fumble with the keys. When the big double-doors are both unlocked, he pulls one open for you, and you kiss him on the cheek as you breeze past. “Thanks. I’ll see you later, okay?” You pause, and reach back to give his hand a final squeeze. “Have a good day!”
Inside, you make it about halfway to the front desk before you realize that the unmistakable sound of Reeboks squeaking against the floor is following you.
You turn around, bewildered and amused. “Can I help you?”
Eddie just shrugs. “This is a public institution. I’m allowed in.”
“I didn’t realize ‘let me drop you off’ meant ‘let me come to work with you.’ Gosh, aren’t you tired of me yet?”
His reply is immediate. “No.”
The incredible thing is, you actually believe him.
You shake your head in awe. “Eddie Munson, you’re really somethin’, you know that?”
He leans in to kiss you one more time, soft and sweet, but you pull away before it can get too heated, keenly aware of the fact that you’re at your place of work, and that making out in full view of the entire — albeit currently empty — library? Probably a bad look.
Just in time, too, as Marissa was apparently not far behind you. You see the doors open again from over Eddie’s shoulder and the older librarian hurries into the building, low heels clacking noisily against the tile. Her face, which is seemingly-always pinched in annoyance, scrunches even further beneath her dark bangs when she realizes you’re not alone. 
“Good morning, Marissa,” you greet her politely.
“We’re technically not open yet,” she spits back, staring pointedly at Eddie. “He can’t be in here.”
You open your mouth to reply, but Eddie beats you to it. “My apologies, ma’am. I was just heading back out.” It’s a remarkably respectful response for Eddie, who you’ve learned has a general distaste for authority, and you know that it’s for your sake. 
He gives you the tiniest wave as he walks away, and you return it with a smile, though your heart pangs with each step that takes him further away from you.
After clocking in you make your escape to the children’s area. It’s practically its own library, in a way — it takes up the whole back corner of the building and then some. Hundreds of thin, colorful books are jam-packed onto the shelves, which are built at an intentionally low height. The floor is covered in deep green carpeting, in contrast to the elegant, black-and-white tile that lies in the main library; all the flat surfaces are topped with stuffed animals and puppets and other baubles for the kids to admire and play with.
In the center of it all, there’s a wide space that’s been cleared out for Story Times and various other programs, which is headed by the overstuffed armchair that you like to read from. A number of miniature tables and stools line the side of the area, which are dotted with neatly-placed baskets of craft supplies. 
You’re pleased with the theme for the day: amongst the books you’ve chosen there are copies of A Bear Called Paddington and Corduroy ready to go. Markers, buttons, googly eyes, and glue have been set out on the tables, so they can make their own little bears for the craft activity. You’ve taken the initiative of cutting out the teddy shapes from heavy cardstock for them already — one less accident with scissors you need to worry about.
You’re nearly finished setting up when someone clears their throat behind you. Startled, you whirl around to see Marissa again.
“Hello,” you greet her in surprise. She usually lets you do your thing on Saturdays without much interruption. Your take in her expression, a little puzzled; the look on her face suddenly makes you feel like you’re in trouble.
She gives you a tight smile, although it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Hello, dear. Everything going okay?”
“Ye-es…” Your answer drags out uncertainly. “Almost ready here.” You gesture unnecessarily around the room, unsure of what she’s getting at.
“Good, good,” she nods distractedly, not bothering to look and verify that you’re actually doing your job. “Listen, when you finish up this morning, come and find me. I want to have a little chat with you, alright?” Seeing the panic split across your face, she quickly adds, “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble. It’s not work-related.”
Your head cocks to the side curiously, but she spins on her heel and leaves before you can ask her to elaborate.
The rest of the morning passes in a blur, Marissa’s request lurking in the back of your mind all the while, though you try to focus on your reading. She’s not really the warm and fuzzy type — somehow you doubt she’s interested in having a little girl-chat.
Some odd-two hours later, when the last of the kids have scampered away, you head cautiously back to the front desk where Marissa and another young clerk are speaking to one another in low voices.
Your coworker sees you approaching from over Marissa’s shoulder, and gives her a subtle nod, warning the older woman of your presence. A hush falls over their conversation, and you feel a stab of annoyance, knowing intuitively that whatever they were talking about, it certainly had something to do with you. 
She’s already blabbing to your coworkers about whatever this is? Gross. 
Marissa turns to face you, pretending to look surprised at your approach.
“You wanted to see me?” you ask her pleasantly.
Another one of those tight-lipped smiles. “Yes, why don’t you come back here with me.” She moves towards her office, waving for you to follow along. “A little more private in here,” she stage-whispers. 
When you’re alone in the tiny room, she shuts the door behind you, and takes a seat at her desk. You perch awkwardly on one of the folding chairs opposite her, clasping your hands on your lap — you feel a little bit like a wayward student in the principal’s office.
“Is…everything okay?” She said it wasn’t work-related, so you don’t have a clue what’s up. Surely if it was about Eddie being in the building before open, she would have reprimanded you earlier, when you were the only two people there. And that would be considered work-related anyway, wouldn’t it?
Marissa doesn’t answer immediately, so you try to be proactive. “If this is about my friend being here this morning, I’m so sorry about that. I promise it won’t happen again.”
“Not…exactly.” She purses her lips, not giving anything away. 
You blink, and try again. “Um, if this is about the oobleck thing again, I promise I was able to get it off the ceiling. You can check, it’s all clean.”
She almost cracks, a rare flash of amusement in her eyes, though it’s snuffed out quickly.
“It’s not that, either. I want to ask you about how things are going, just in general? I know you’re still pretty new to town. Have you been settling in okay these past few months?”
You think of the warm welcome you received from nearly everyone you’ve met. “Yeah, everything’s great. Everyone’s been really nice.”
She nods slowly, and when she speaks again, her tone is off — you can clock the feigned nonchalance right away. “I’ve noticed Eddie Munson has been here quite often this summer.”
You take this as confirmation of what you had already suspected — that Eddie’s frequenting of the library has more to do with you than anything else, and your lips can’t help but turn up into a fond smile.
“He likes to read,” you offer simply.
She’s more direct this time, eyes locking onto yours from behind her thick lenses. “He spends a lot of time talking to you while he’s here.”
Nervous heat starts to creep up your neck and into your cheeks. Is that what this is about? Has the quality of your work declined since Eddie started visiting you here? 
You’ve worried about this before. When your friendship began and he started coming in pretty regularly, you made a point that if Eddie was to be there, the distractions had to be kept to a minimum. He was very understanding about it. And in his defense, he did mostly keep out of your way — he sat and read, and chatted with you when you weren’t busy, or if you happened to be hidden away amongst the shelves working, out of Marissa’s sight. He even helped you clean up the mess left behind by your Storytime kids. But you suppose he had been a presence nonetheless.
Waiting for the hammer to fall, you bow your head. Your job is very important to you — as much as you like Eddie, you don’t want to jeopardize your position or your standing with your boss by having her think you’re boy-crazy. Guiltily, your mind scrambles to find the words for an apology, some promise to do better in the future.
But Marissa doesn’t even go there. And what she says instead startles you right out of your self-deprecating spiral.
“Do you know about Eddie Munson?”
Your head pops back up in surprise, and you stare at her blankly, confused. “Know…what about him?”
“Listen, you’re a nice girl,” she simpers. “You’re a stellar employee — I wouldn’t want anyone else leading Family and Youth Services here. I think you have a lot of potential, and I don’t want you to squander it by getting involved with the wrong sort of people.”
Offense rises in your throat like bile. “Excuse me?”
She holds her hands up in defense. “I’m just trying to look out for your best interests, dear,” she insists. “The Munsons have a reputation in this town — that young man especially —”
“Marissa,” your tone is sharp; she’s treading into dangerous territory. 
“He’s a criminal,” she warns. “Jim Hopper is far too soft on him. If he actually got in trouble for every law he broke, he’d be sitting in a jail cell right now.”
You gape at her. “What has he done?” you demand. 
Marissa sighs, and takes her glasses off, setting them aside while she massages the bridge of her nose tiredly. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this” — you note that she doesn’t really sound sorry at all — “but he is a drug dealer, and a Satanist, amongst other things. He sells dope to kids and he all but started a cult when he was in high school. The oldest senior in Indiana, by the way,” she adds derisively.
You’re speechless.
She pushes on. “His father was a deadbeat, and in all the time that Eddie Munson has been living in Hawkins, all he’s done is prove that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.”
You bite the inside of your cheek, fuming. Her audacity is too appalling for you to have any real reaction to the accusations; and regardless of whether or not those rumors are true, this certainly doesn’t feel like an appropriate way for you to find out about them. 
You take a deep breath, and choose your words carefully. “Respectfully, who I choose to associate with outside of work is no one’s business but my own. If you feel like my relationship with him is infringing upon my performance here, then by all means, tell me where I’m lacking, and I’ll improve. But please do not sit here and try to convince me to shun my friend because —” you falter, trying to keep your anger in check, “because of your personal feelings towards him.”
Because you’re a Grade-A bitch who listens to small town gossip.
Marissa settles back in her seat, face impassive. She purses her lips. “Alright. I see your point. But don’t be upset, dear, I’m really only trying to help you.”
“I appreciate your concern,” you lie through gritted teeth.
“But before you make your mind up about him too quickly,” she adds, examining her fingernails casually, “ask him about Chrissy Cunningham.” Her eyes dart slyly up to yours, searching for any hint of recognition at the name.
There isn��t any — you’ve never heard of this person — but there’s an odd swooping sensation in your stomach at the mention of Eddie possibly being involved with another girl. It makes you feel sort of…ill. 
But you won’t let your face betray your surprise. You keep your expression neutral, composed. You manage a final nod at Marissa, and rise to leave. She doesn’t say anything to stop you, so you take that as your cue to exit the office, your mind swirling with unanswered questions.
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Across town, at the Munson trailer, a Dungeons and Dragons session is set to begin any minute. Dustin Henderson has arrived early with snacks, and is making himself all too comfortable on the squashy sofa.
Hellfire Club had still gone on strong three years after Eddie’s miraculous, long-awaited graduation, due to the combined efforts of the small group of freshmen he recruited in his last year. And it will continue to do so even now that they’re gone, thanks to one Erica Sinclair, who is rumored to be the most brutal Dungeons and Dragons player in the entire Midwest…after Eddie, of course.
Despite the fact that he remained in Hawkins, and that Dustin often begged him to join them, Eddie had respectfully bowed out of any and all Hellfire-related activities after graduating, in an effort to display a modicum of maturity. He didn’t want to be that guy hanging around his old high school because he didn’t have anything better to do.
But as a favor to his favorite kid, Eddie’s DMing their summer campaign as a last hurrah. Just Wheeler, Henderson, Sinclair, and a slightly newer addition — Will Byers, who came after his time, but seems a nice enough kid. It gives the boys a chance to all play together one last time before they part ways.
Eddie hopes they manage to stay friends, despite it all.
“Thanks, Henderson, but I think I’ve got a handle on things,” Eddie says sarcastically.
Dustin gives him an annoyingly-superior look. “I’m just saying, Suzie and I have been in a loving relationship for many years now — if you need any dating advice, I’m your guy.”
Eddie rolls his eyes, and crosses his arms. “Dude, she’s spent almost all the time you’ve known her across the country in Mormonland.” 
Purely defensive. He hates to admit it, but Dustin’s right. He and Suzie’s relationship has lasted for a far, far longer time than any fling Eddie’s ever had. But that doesn’t mean he’s gonna sit down and let the little twerp talk to him like he knows something about something.
Little — Dustin Henderson is college-bound, heading off to some fancy private school on a merit scholarship, leaving Hawkins and grabbing life by the balls. He might still be a shrimpy dork, but Eddie’s secretly mourning the impending loss of his young friend.
“So,” continues Dustin, chomping on a Twizzler, lounging back against the cushions, “when do I get to meet her?”
Eddie chuckles, yanking the candy bag across the couch towards himself. “Uh, I don’t know. Whenever she wants to, I guess.”
Dustin snickers. “Would you be mad if I just showed up at her job and ambushed her?”
Eddie cuts his eyes over to the younger boy, wry smirk on his lips. “To be honest, I’m kind of surprised you haven’t done that already.”
“I haven’t been reading much this summer,” Dustin admits. “Too busy trying to cram in a bunch of stuff before we all…” he trails off, gaze growing distant. 
“Yeah,” Eddie mutters back. He’s been there.
Dustin coughs. “Anyway, you should invite her to meet us at Benny’s after this. You said you’re picking her up from work, right?”
Eddie thinks it over for a moment, then shrugs. “Sure. I’ll ask her.”
The rickety front door swings open, a trio of laughing teenage boys barging in without bothering to knock. Tall, gangling Mike; Lucas, smiling in his letterman jacket; and Will, hanging back shyly, clutching his player’s handbook.
Eddie can’t help but grin. Dustin cocks an eyebrow at them.
“You assholes ready or what?”
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Throughout the entire day, you think about what Marissa told you. 
Yes, you’re angry at her for somehow thinking that would be an appropriate conversation for the two of you to have. Yes, you’re upset to hear her say such disparaging things about someone you’ve known to be nothing but sweet and kind. It feels like such an injustice, that Eddie be subjected to such cruel remarks. 
But still, there’s a sliver of uncertainty in your heart now, a dark cloud looming in the distance of yours and Eddie’s budding relationship. 
When your shift ends, you linger outside by the doors, waiting for Eddie to pick you up. A tiny part of you regrets the decision to let him bring you in to work, but you try and shake the feeling away.
You hate that you’re feeling this way. Internally, you scold yourself for letting Marissa’s words get to you. Why should you listen to what she says, anyway? Don’t you trust that you know him better than she does?
Do you believe Eddie to be a devil-worshipping cult leader? Certainly not. Eddie is a far cry away from what the media makes guys like him out to be. He’s not violent, or practicing any Satanic rituals; he just happens to like scary music and think that fantasy games are cool.
Do you believe Eddie to be a drug dealer? Well, that one, maybe…
Do you believe Eddie to have some sordid past — or, more worryingly, present — with someone named Chrissy Cunningham?
Before you can decide what to think about her, the sound of a wailing guitar drifts through the air, getting louder and louder — finally, a familiar green and white van is turning the corner, Eddie’s dark head, visible through the open windows, bobbing up and down in time with the music.
“Hey!” he shouts with a grin as he approaches the curb, yelling so as to be heard over the noise. With some effort, you smile back. He lowers the tape so it plays at a more bearable volume, as you open the door and climb into the passenger seat.
“Hi,” you greet him.
He leans across the center consol to give you a kiss, one calloused hand cupping your cheek. You can his smell cologne, the sweat beaded on his neck, and a faint smokiness clinging to his curls, you suppose, from his last cigarette; these, combined with how soft and plush his lips feel against yours push the thought of Chrissy Cunningham temporarily from your mind, along with any other thought you may have potentially had in this moment.
Eddie pecks at your lips again and again, then settles back in his seat, letting his hand fall onto your knee. “How was work?”
You squirm uneasily. “It was fine,” you half-lie, not sure what you should tell him. 
“Kids behaving?” he asks.
“About as much as I could expect them to,” you sigh.
Eddie gazes at you, his dark eyes curious; you’re normally much more upbeat than this when you see him after a long day. His face brightens when he remembers what he wanted to ask you, thinking that it may cheer you up. “Well, it’s all over with now, right? You’re free. And I had an idea, if you’re up for it.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” he explains, “I was thinking, I can take you home, or — if you want — you can come get dinner at Benny’s with me and the guys?” He smiles hopefully. “The others are on their way there already. They’re dorks, but they’re good kids, and Dustin has been bugging me to bring you around.”
You think it over. Admittedly, you’ve been dying to see how Eddie acts around his teenage friends. And maybe this is just what you need to dispel your discomfort; a night out with Eddie and his pals, surrounded by people who know and love him.
Eddie senses your hesitation. “We won’t be out too long,” he reassures you, “because I’m working tonight. But still, no pressure if you’re not up for it.”
He leaves the choice up to you, but he’s giving you the puppy dogs. You nod, giving in. “Okay,” you agree. “Sounds like fun.”
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Being crammed in a diner booth with five other guys isn’t normally your idea of comfortable, but their raucous laughter and boyish antics make it just that — comfortable. You’re pushed up against the wall, with Eddie pressed into your side, one tatted arm slung over your shoulder. Dustin sits opposite you, with Will and Lucas; Mike occupies the last seat next to Eddie. 
The affection between the younger boys is tangible; this is a group of friends who have known each other a long, long time. They all talk at once, interrupting and speaking over one another, unless someone shoots a question at you, in which case, Eddie holds up a hand to silence them all, so your response can be heard.
Eddie interjects every so often, arguing playfully and poking fun at them, but he mostly watches with amusement, letting them carry the bulk of the conversation. It’s funny; he has the air of a cool uncle about him, the one who supervises carefully but also lets you sneak a sip from his can of beer when no one’s looking.
More than once, you notice Eddie glancing sidelong at you, watching your reaction to the spectacle before you. He smiles when you catch him, and squeezes your thigh under the table. 
“So you woke up early to take her to work, ran D and D all day, and now you’re going to work a late shift? Are you planning on going to sleep on top of the bar?” Dustin is staring at Eddie in disbelief.
Eddie shrugs. “I sleep all day on Sunday.” He suddenly flicks a french fry at Dustin across the table. “What can I say? I’m extremely devoted to all of you,” he says sarcastically.
“One of us, anyway,” snickers Lucas, nodding his head at you.
“And don’t you forget it,” Eddie replies sternly, tightening the arm he has around you, holding you as closely as the cramped space permits. Without an ounce of shame or embarrassment, he leans in and smacks a wet kiss to your forehead.
A chorus of “oooh”s erupts, along with one “gross!” and you can’t stop the happy smile from unfurling across your face. 
In this greasy diner booth surrounded by teenage boys, with Eddie so unabashedly declaring his affection for you, the pressure that’s been weighing on your chest since this morning dissipates almost completely.
“Ask him about Chrissy Cunningham.”
Almost.
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The car ride home is quiet. Eddie has foregone his metal tapes, and instead lets the radio softly crackle out a tune from The Cure. Normally he’d switch the station in distaste, but something about it tonight just feels right. 
“You’re just like a dream…you’re just like a dream…”
You’re gazing out the window, seemingly lost in thought. He can’t stop sneaking looks at you, at the way your lips are parted, the slight furrow to your brow. He wants to kiss the worry-line away. 
“Everything okay?” 
Your eyes refocus on him, and you give him a half-smile. “Everything’s okay,” you tell him, looking back down again, twiddling your thumbs.
There’s a hitch in your voice that concerns him. “Tired?” he asks hesitantly, unsure if he should press the issue.
“Yeah, kind of. Things were…a little overwhelming today, I guess.”
Eddie frowns. “They should give you a helper or something. That’s a lot to deal with by yourself, even if it’s only for an hour or two.” He pulls up to the curb in front of your house, engine idling. Then he moves in for another kiss, gentler than any other he’s given you today. 
After just a few moments, you’re the one to break it, pulling back ever so slightly and leaving him wanting.
“Goodnight, Eddie,” you whisper, breath ghosting over his lips. You’re already reaching behind you for the door handle.
Eddie's caught off guard by the speed of your goodbye. “Goodnight,” he replies, dazed, sad to see you wrenching the door open so quickly, without the usual lingering kisses and touches he adores. 
You hop out and he watches your retreating back as you tread across the sidewalk towards the house. He leans over the center consol, towards the open passenger window. “Sweetheart?” he calls out.
You turn back to face him. “Yeah?”
He makes a come-hither motion with two ringed fingers. “Come here for a second.”
You double back and make your way around the vehicle, so you’re standing on the other side of Eddie’s door. With your arms propped against the sill of his window, you lean against the van, letting it support your weight.
You look at him expectantly, waiting.
He reaches out and touches your face, stroking his thumb across your cheekbone, savoring the feeling of your skin underneath the rough pads of his fingers.
“Thanks for coming with me tonight. I know I sort of sprung it on you,” he says apologetically.
You smile at him, warm though tinged with a sadness he can’t put his finger on. “I had fun. You’re right — they are nice boys.” 
Eddie sighs, still tracing your flesh. “Could I trouble you for one more kiss?” he asks quietly, blushing cheeks dimpling. “For the road?”
To his relief, you seem to melt a little, swaying lightly on your feet as you hold onto the sill and oblige him. 
Eddie’s other hand molds to the back of your head, cradling it in his palm as he kisses you one last time, urgency pervading all his senses, as though he might not get another.
When he releases you he's breathless, and he rests his forehead against yours for a moment, letting your noses rub together. Finally, he relaxes back in the seat.
“Get some sleep, honey,” he says.
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thank you for reading!! <3
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In the Background - Chapter 4
Summary: You’ve been dating Natasha in secret since her early days in SHIELD, and you’ve been in the background of all her missions since.
Word Count: 5155
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Warnings: canon violence
A/N: uhhh, hey everyone! 10 months since the last update, here's the start of the Age of Ultron section! Thanks again to @emril-osvigne for getting me back into this :) Hopefully the next part should be out soonish but until then, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!
Series Masterlist
Previous Part
—:::——::-————>◇<—————::——:::—
“Don't you guys ever sleep? I want to sleep.”
“It's 10 am; sun's up. We can't be wasting time.”
“Yeah, 10 am is all well and good…but it's 4am here. Do you not get jet lag? And don't tell me you slept on the plane; I know you didn't sleep on the plane.”
Natasha's laugh came through the comms and almost made it worth it. You were still annoyed and sleep deprived, but almost worth it.
“If you get us through, then we can all go to bed faster.” Natasha really did know the way to your heart.
“In that case, Romanoff, take a left. You're going the wrong way.”
“You only just now tell me?”
“You only just turned!”
Just then, an alert began to ring, ‘we are under attack’ echoing through the halls of the HYDRA facility, and picked up by the access Maria had found. At the same time, the camera feeds in front of you filled with smoke, soldiers, and streaks of ammunition.
Maria turned to you. “You know, I think they've been spotted.”
“You don't say!” came Tony's strained reply.
All you could do was watch as the Avengers stormed forwards; J.A.R.V.I.S. took care of everything on the field, so you let your attention drift towards Natasha’s suit camera footage. For the most part, all that you could see were spinning trees and approaching enemies, but every so often, glimpses of Natasha’s arm or leg would appear on screen, or she’d appear in Clint’s footage, and that was enough to have you daydreaming of all the moves that you knew she was pulling out. You almost felt sorry for the soldiers, having been on the receiving end of the Black Widow’s blows yourself, you knew they were a force to be reckoned with.
Clint’s camera flipped rapidly in the corner of your eye, pulling your attention away. Maria saw it too, and the both of you exchanged worried looks over the fact that Clint had been knocked by an unseen opponent; even as he lay on the ground, his enemy was outside the field of view.
“Barton, are you okay?” Maria asked, but only got groans in response.
You kept a closer eye as he pushed himself up, so you saw when a blond haired man walked across his screen, looking down at him with an expression that could almost be described as amusement. “You didn’t see that coming?” he said, but didn’t attack; he just continued to walk before disappearing into a blur of blue.
“What just happened?” you asked. You might have written it off as a sleep-deprived hallucination, had Maria not been staring at the screen too, similarly slack-jawed. Along with Clint, both of you at HQ watched intently down the archer’s line of sight, following the aim of his arrow – it’s what made it all the more startling when his screen tipped again, this time accompanied by a yelp.
“The blur again?” Maria stressed, but you shook your head, pointing to Natasha’s screen. Positioned alongside her closest friend, she was the first to notice his fall, and turned from her own approach to run towards him, giving you a clear view of his injured side. Almost synchronously, Steve’s camera flipped in a full 360 before he looked around, but again, no enemy in sight.
“We have an enhanced in the field,” he announced. The speedster.
At the same time, Natasha confirmed her visual for both HQ and the team on the field: “Clint’s hit!” She rushed to his side, allowing you a close-up visual of the burn – although it had only grazed his side, with the damage it caused you knew he’d been lucky that it wasn’t a direct shot.
“I’ll get Helen,” Maria mumbled, pushing her chair away from the desk and rushing out of the office, phone in hand to call the Avengers’ resident doctor – aside from Dr Banner, of course, but he was otherwise preoccupied.
Speaking of, Hulk charged through Natasha’s footage, roaring as he leapt and destroyed the bunker which had injured Clint and continued to endanger Natasha. She thanked him. You turned your attention to the other Avengers momentarily, still fighting their way into the building, but your attention always returned to Natasha as she tried to heal Clint on the field. Tony destroyed the defences, Steve and Thor found each other to discuss plans, but Natasha remained kneeling by Clint, who by this point had given up on his struggle to stand.
“Clint’s hit pretty bad guys; we’re gonna need evac.”
“I can get Barton to the jet,” Thor promised, “the sooner we’re gone, the better.”
Natasha stayed with Clint until Thor arrived then, once the god took her friend to safety, she moved on to your least favourite part of all Avengers missions – calming the Hulk. Although you knew why she was the person best suited for the job – a calming presence on the team and her quick thinking solutions if things went wrong – seeing an uncontrolled being roar in the face of your girlfriend tended to get your heart pounding. Still, as she held her hand out and stared him down, the Hulk began to respond; his grunts softened, his steps shrunk, and he eventually held his own hand out, dwarfing Natasha’s when he went to touch it. You watched Natasha trace her fingers over the forearm of the Hulk and felt phantom sensations mimic the move on your own arm, as your mind filled with memories of nights in your room with Natasha, where you laid with your sleeve rolled up to let her practise her gentle touch.
Soon enough, Bruce came stumbling back, faster than ever before. Natasha led him slowly back to the quinjet before he went to calm himself and she went to check on Clint. Tony and Steve returned soon after, sceptre in hand but expressions sombre – you don’t know what had happened to Tony, but he had stumbled around the room for a few moments before he grabbed the sceptre, and spoke little after that point. You saw him smile at the others through their cameras but afterwards he went straight to the pilot’s seat, while Natasha sat as co-pilot.
“We’re on our way back,” Natasha stated, and from your charts you could see the jet ascend out of the Sokovian woodlands.
“Hill’s got Cho on her way for when you get here. Otherwise I’ll trust you don’t need my assistance for the way back.”
“We’ll be good, Y/L/N.”
“Okay,” you hummed, checking no other Avengers lurked on the channel, and that Maria was still out of the room, “I’ll see you soon, baby, get home safe.”
“I’ll try my best, Agent,” was all Natasha said. All she could say. But you heard the meaning behind her words. You smiled, and then you hung up; you would see them all soon.
—:::——::-————>◇<—————::——:::—
Maria met them at the hangar, pulling double duty of escorting Helen Cho to Clint so she could transport him safely, and finding Steve to pass on the information you and she gathered on the ‘enhanced individuals’ the Avengers had encountered on their mission. Facial recognition on Clint and Steve’s body cam footage had identified them as Pietro and Wanda Maximoff, then Maria had searched for references to them in the information Stark sent through, finding a list of powers they’d gained under HYDRA.
You hung back. Being off-duty for the Avengers’ long flight home had allowed you to get the sleep that Natasha had promised earlier. You knew Natasha would be with Clint, both keeping him company and keeping tabs on his well-being until he had fully recovered – a process that would be very quick if your conversation with Helen was to be believed – but once he was up, your girlfriend would finally be ready to sleep and return to you.
For the sake of appearances, you didn’t officially share a room at the Tower: Natasha had a whole floor of her own, while you shared yours with the other ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. recruits. Whenever it was possible, Natasha and you didn’t stay at the Tower at all, preferring the privacy of the DC apartment the two of you had shared throughout your time at S.H.I.E.L.D., but it was no longer within an easy distance of work and, more often than not, the both of you ended up staying at the Tower. It took caution, and a lot of planning, to ensure you still spent nights with your partner – leaving for ‘home’ on different days to avoid suspicion, sleeping in your own room every now and then even on the nights where Natasha was in the Tower, and, in your case only, riding the elevator all the way up to your office at midnight if someone else steps into the capsule with you, hiding your true destination of the Black Widow’s bedroom. Avengers employees were terrible gossips.
But on that day, you were alone: the regular 9-5 employees were going about their jobs, the ‘on call’ employees had gone off to sleep, and the Avengers were too preoccupied with their post-mission routines to pay anyone else much attention. The Tower was as quiet as it ever could be, so you rode up to Natasha’s suite and sat on her couch with a tablet in hand and information at the ready – as an excuse in case anyone but her entered the room next.
Luckily for you, this was a day where everything went to plan: 40 minutes after the quinjet touched down, Clint was healed and as good as new. 45 minutes after the quinjet touched down, Natasha stepped out of the elevator, smiled at the sight of you, and walked into your open arms.
“Hi baby,”
“Hi,”
“How’s Clint?”
“Back to his usual self,”
“How awful,”
“I know. At least Laura will be glad.”
“We can’t lose him before baby Natasha comes into the world.”
“I was thinking I might visit them with Clint now that there’s no sceptre to worry about. Would you like to come? Check on my future protege with me?”
“Of course I would,” you promised, leaning in just close enough for your lips to touch, “anywhere to be with you.”
Natasha took your hint without delay, shuffling closer in your arms to close the distance between you, laying gentle kisses to your lips before pulling back to speak again. “We’re heading off Sunday, after the party, taking a bus part of the way and his car, so we can all go together without suspicion.”
“There’s a party?”
“Saturday night, Tony just decided on it.”
“Of course he did.”
Both yours and Natasha’s phones chimed, and you reached into your back pocket to check it – a difficult task considering you were sat with Natasha straddling your lap, but you managed. Natasha checked hers too, confirming that you had both received the same message: an invite to the ‘sceptre retrieval party’ on the Saturday. Formal attire. Veterans in attendance for Steve to ‘bond with people his own age’. Steve would probably thumbs down that addition… if he knew how to react to messages at all.
Natasha hadn’t looked up, but she knew an unimpressed expression would greet her. “You’ll get to watch me get ready,” she offered.
“The only highlight.”
“Aw, am I really that bad of a conversationalist?” Natasha smirked.
“The worst,” came your reply, but with a smile before she could offer to spend the party talking to someone else.
“Luckily for you, sweetheart, we have three whole days uninterrupted before then, maybe we can work on my conversation skills.”
“I think we can make that work,” you said, smiling into the next kiss. You let her relax on your lap before quickly changing the pace; you pushed her back, strong enough to move her yet light enough to catch her before she fell fully.
“Hey!”
“Go take a shower first, you reek of gunpowder.”
She rolled her eyes, pouted at you, and shook her head, yet she still conceded. “Whatever you say, baby.”
You didn’t have to ask this time. She definitely meant that ‘baby’ as an insult.
—:::——::-————>◇<—————::——:::—
Days without missions were rare as Avengers, but they had been even rarer as SHIELD agents, so you and Natasha had learned how to make the most of them. From coffee dates in disguise, to reading books while sprawled across your living room, and even to skydiving (once. You vowed never again, but Natasha had seemed a little too comfortable with it), it was safe to say that you’d covered a wide range of activities, and the three days you had with her now were no different.
But all good things must come to an end, and three days later the two of you were back on her floor of the Tower, getting each other ready for the party. She opted for a classically stylish look: black and white dress, curled hair, red lips – she looked beautiful, and you made sure she knew it. In addition to that, the monochrome look served a secondary purpose, allowing the two of you to dress in complementary couple’s outfits, without actually drawing attention to the fact that you were a couple. If the two of you entered the room together, then maybe the others would notice that your white suit and black shirt perfectly matched Natasha’s dress, but you knew better than to do that.
Natasha entered first, alongside the other five Avengers, to begin the meet and greet that always started these parties. You followed an hour later and found the party in full swing: Colonel Rhodes entertained guests with stories of his heroics, Steve and Thor led a veteran out to the chauffeur, and Tony showed off his gadgets to some of the senior officers in attendance. But, of course, your gaze sought Natasha immediately, and it found her behind the bar, pouring herself a drink while Bruce stumbled through a flirting routine. As much as you wished to, it would be too telling for you to beeline towards her and interrupt Bruce’s attempt at a date, so you contented yourself to sit on the couch with Clint and only occasionally sneak glances at the redhead.
The archer caught on immediately, and laughed as soon as he followed your line of sight. “You worried about the competition?”
You glanced around, checking once again for eavesdroppers in the conversation before you answered with a shake of your head. “Not with Nat, no, she’s earned my trust completely…”
“But?”
“But Bruce doesn’t know it and,” you tilted your head to the side, nodding in the direction of another spectator, “clearly Steve doesn’t know it either.”
Just then, as your attention fell back on Natasha, her eyes found you over Bruce’s shoulder and lit up at the sight; she hardly hid her smile as she made her exit, leaving the scientist staring at the spot she’d vacated in order to make her way over to you, settling beside you on the couch. “What are you two gossiping about, hm?”
“Oh, you know, just… relationships… and secrets”
“Not that I would know anything about that,” Clint added with his hands held up.
“Of course not, of course not. Not a thing for us three esteemed members of society to be dealing in,” you joked.
“Never,” Natasha finished with a laugh. Then movement from the bar drew your attention back to the scene at hand, all three of you instinctively going quiet in an attempt to listen in, only occasionally diverting your focus or sipping drinks to hide your actions.
“Ooohoohoo,” Clint laughed, “I think good ol’ Cap just told Banner to ask you out.” You’d come to the same conclusion, so nodded and laughed alongside the archer at Natasha’s long sigh.
“Here’s hoping that doesn’t make things awkward.” Natasha’s response was quick, as Steve made his way to sit with the three of you, followed by Tony soon after.
“Y/L/N! You made it!” the billionaire cheered, patting you forcefully on the shoulder, “here I was thinking you were going to blow us all off.”
“It was a consideration,” you shrugged, though of course you would never miss an opportunity to see Natasha dressed in her best.
“I’m hurt, truly,” was all he said before wandering off again, seemingly looking for more people to impress.
“And then there were four,” Clint commented, “where’s Maria? It’s like an old SHIELD reunion.”
“I hope without the HYDRA this time.”
Hours later, Maria had come to join you, along with Helen Cho and the remaining Avengers, to crash on the couches and eat the takeout Clint had ordered. The night was at its end, so energetic conversations shifted into private murmurs – you were pretty sure Helen had fallen asleep – until Clint’s mockery of Mjolnir drew everyone’s attention back, waiting to see how the god reacted.
To your surprise, Thor only laughed, then held out his arm, “please, be my guest.”
“Really?” Clint hopped up with an eagerness he hadn’t shown since his wedding day. Despite the jokes made at his expense, he grabbed the grip, pulled, and…nothing happened. Thor reiterated the worthiness requirement but that only inspired the others to give it a go: one by one (or 2 at once in Tony and Rhodey’s case) the Avengers lined up to test their strength, each one failing.
“Widow?” Bruce offered, after an almost embarrassing attempt at it himself, but she declined, leaning towards you instead.
“Oh no, that’s not a question I need answered.”
Soon, all conversations derailed into theories and defences, jokes and accusations, until a high pitched whir interrupted all of that. There was no time to fix the issue before it stopped, giving way to rhythmic clunking approaching from behind.
“Worthy?” came an ominous voice. You turned to see a dilapidated Iron Legionnaire, limping towards the group. “No. How could you be worthy?” You were on your feet by then, exchanging brief glances with the others before you turned back to the robot. “You’re all killers.”
Steve stepped forward. Tony called for JARVIS. Nobody took their eye off of the mechanical puppet. Natasha hovered her arm behind her in search of you.
“I’m sorry, I was asleep. Or, I was a-dream.” The legionnaire continued, a full soliloquy that the team only rarely dared interrupt.
“Who sent you?” Thor challenged, and the machine answered back – with a recording of Tony’s voice.
“Ultron,” came Bruce’s realisation. Both you and Natasha turned to him, curious about a name you didn’t know; particularly when the mechanism – ‘Ultron’ – confirmed it. A glance around the room confirmed something for you too: the whole atmosphere had changed, and everyone felt it; Thor tightened his hold on his hammer, Maria readied her gun, and Steve searched for his shield.
“I’m ready, I’m on a mission.”
“What mission?”
“Peace in our time.”
The wall erupted into shrapnel as the Iron Legion took Ultron’s cue to attack; you caught only microseconds of the action before Natasha tackled you to the ground and out of the robots’ path. Your girlfriend pressed on top of you did little to help your cognition, and a flying table and Steve made it hard to keep pace, but you counted at least 3 robots in the air.
Few people had thought to bring weapons to a party in their home, leading to a struggle of hand to hand combat between man and machine, all just a delay before Thor could get a hit. When he destroyed the final Ultron – the main Ultron – you nearly collapsed from the exhaustion of it all; it had been some time since your last field mission.
“The sceptre is gone.”
“One of the legionnaires; it flew out just before the fight ended.”
Thor growled and flew out of the shattered window. Meanwhile, Tony and Bruce muttered between themselves, then made for the lab without another word.
“Hold on-” Steve commanded. You met Maria’s eye, anticipating another argument.
“No, I’m not gonna hold on,” Tony snapped, “I have work to do, but you could be a dear and bring that suit with us if you’re going to help.”
Steve followed his pointed finger, then wordlessly picked up the destroyed husk of Ultron and followed Bruce and Tony to the lab. With a shrug and exchanged glances, you and the others followed along too. Clint dropped to the back; walking alongside you and Natasha, he kept his voice low, “I guess we’re staying here for the next few days then.”
“No rest for the wicked,” came Natasha’s reply.
“Should’ve gone home when I had the chance.”
Natasha shivered by your side, the lab was colder than the party had been, but the whole building had cooled significantly thanks to the giant holes in the wall. You offered her your blazer but the spy waved you off and pulled one of her own jackets out from under a desk; you tilted your head to pose the silent question.
“All our work is gone,” Banner announced before you got a reply. You looked up to see him at his computer, searching through whatever he could find. “Ultron cleared out. He used the Internet as an escape hatch.”
Next thing you knew, Natasha was also gone, searching through files of her own. You tilted your head at her again. “He’s been in everything. Files, surveillance. Probably knows more about us than we knew about each other.” You didn’t miss how her eyes fixed on you, or how Clint’s hand fell on his phone: you all had secrets you didn’t want exposed.
“He’s in your files, he’s in the internet. What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?”
“Nuclear codes.”
“Nuclear codes. Look, we need to make some calls.”
After an attack on the Avengers' home – the first in 3 years – the mood was understandably sour, but it only got more sombre as the team discussed the semantics of Ultron’s plan for ‘extinction’, all building up to JARVIS’s destruction. Things had never felt so hopeless. Nor did you realise until now how much you'd considered the sentient AI a friend; the devoted keeper of your and Natasha's secret.
From then on, for the rest of the evening, the events of the night all seemed to happen around you. The fights and plans and arguments; you knew you'd agreed to certain things, but nothing truly felt clear until Natasha put her hand on the small of your back. Your head snapped up and you met her concerned eyes. “I'm okay,” you reassured, before she could even ask.
Her gaze continued to survey every detail of your face, and you knew from her pursed lips that you had failed to convince her. “Let's go to my room,” she announced, and only then did you realise that she'd already led you out into the corridor to be alone.
You nodded, and she led you down, never faltering in her hold of you until you passed the threshold of her room.
“Bigger night than you expected, huh?” Natasha said with a forced laugh.
“Yeah.” You were in Natasha's closet now, looking through all the clothes you had left there. “You're not sleeping tonight, are you?”
The redhead sighed, as if she thought she'd gotten away with it, before she murmured a ‘no’. A pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a hoodie landed on her bed, and you saw her look of confusion before you went back in to look for a set of your own.
“If you're going to stay up, you might as well change into something more comfortable. And if you're going to stay up, I'm staying up with you.”
“You don't have to-”
“The quicker this is sorted, the quicker we can rest easy, right?”
She nodded.
“So let's get started.”
—:::——::-————>◇<—————::——:::—
All through the night and well into morning, the two of you sat in bed piecing together any clues. Ultron had the wealth of the internet at his disposal in seconds, while you were left to a slow trawl through anything deemed relevant.
Bit by bit, you pieced together a plan, but it was only after joining the other Avengers to talk through findings in the morning that any progress was made. All from Ultron's unintentional clue.
“Where is this guy now?”
“Johannesburg, last I heard.”
“Let's go ask some questions.”
With the edge of your foot, you lightly nudged Natasha, you sign asking her to stay back even as the other Avengers filtered out of the room.
“Get some sleep, alright? I know you've dealt with worse, but it would make me feel better to know you'd had some rest – especially if you run into the Maximoffs; Maria told me what they’re capable of.”
“I will,” Natasha smiled. She surveyed the room and, seeing nobody else around, planted a light kiss to your lips. “Take care of yourself too; I'll be back before you know it!”
And with that, she hurried the others to grab her mission uniform and filter onto the quinjet. You, meanwhile, followed Maria to the mission HQ and called in to the Avengers’ jet. The mission plan for this one was brief: you found Klaue’s exact location and sent it to Tony, they would question his access to vibranium, and be prepared to fight in case Ultron or the Maximoffs decided to enquire about the same thing at the same time.
From then on, it was just a matter of waiting and resting until the quinjet touched down in South America, where you were next needed to ensure the mission ran smoothly.
One by one, the Avengers' suit cameras flickered onto the screens before you, giving you and Maria an insight into the scene before them.
“I think we're in for a fight,” Natasha muttered, referring to the streams of workers escaping the boat which you knew to be Klaue's.
“Stay on the plane, Bruce; code green will be a last case measure in an enclosed space like that.”
The scientist nodded, then the rest of the team filtered in. Steve took command on the scene, bringing Tony and Thor with him to confront the robot, and left Natasha and Clint to the stealth, hiding in the shadows to provide back up if everything went south.
Nerves ran through you as you watched their confrontation with the machine. It was also your first proper look at the Maximoffs – neither seemed particularly intimidated while staring down the Avengers, but you saw the anger in their eyes.
Then, within a second, the sides clashed: Tony was thrown against the wall, more robots came in to fight Steve and Thor one on one, and the Maximoffs used their powers to interrupt.
“The twins keep stepping back,” you noticed, calling it in through the comms.
“They're new to this, probably don't know where to get involved.”
“I'm not sure.” You kept your mind at work, but unless you worked out their thought processes, there was nothing for you to do or say.
Natasha and Clint were brought into the fight in the meantime, attacking the enemies who came their way in order to keep the fight contained to the ship. A full firefight ensued between Klaue’s men, the Ultron bodies, and the Avengers; nothing much changed on your screens until Thor paused, still in between fights, and turned to his right where the girl – Wanda – stood.
“Thor?” Maria checked in. He didn’t put up a fight against her and only watched as she walked away. “What’s happened?”
She got no reply.
“Thor. Status report.” Steve tried. Communications had been patchy; you struggled to get through to Bruce, so it wasn’t out of the question that Thor would have the same issues.
“The girl tried to warp my mind,” he finally replied, “take special care; I doubt a human could keep her at bay. Fortunately, I am mighty.” He trailed off; his teammates might have assumed he had finished and returned to the fight, but you saw instead that his steps had slowed, and he looked around for sights that weren’t there. Tony had done similar back in Sokovia, while Maria’s files of the Maximoffs’ targets described the same sight: even the mighty can fall to the Sokovian’s powers.
“Thor is out of action,” you spoke into the comms; you received no protests from the god himself, so you could only assume he was beyond reaching too. “Watch out for Wanda Maximoff.”
Despite your warning, you were forced to watch as more Avengers fell victim to the Maximoff’s ploy: Steve was knocked into Wanda’s path, Natasha was caught unaware coming down a stairwell, and Clint – well, Clint avoided the mind control, only to be knocked through glass by the other twin.
“Whoever's standing, we gotta move! Guys?”
“Tony’s got Ultron; the others are down,” you told him, “get Natasha, she’s down the corridor from you. Just get everyone out.”
“Good plan,” Maria confirmed, thankfully not noticing how you only sent Clint to check up on Natasha, “Ultron just mentioned Banner so get ready for a quick evac.”
“Natasha, I could really use a lullaby,” Tony said. You checked his camera; the Hulk was on the loose, and angrier than you’d ever seen.
“Well, that's not gonna happen. Not for a while.” Natasha’s head lulled against his hand, totally unresponsive to the world around her. Even with the hostiles gone, you were thankful she had Clint by her side; she wouldn’t want anyone else to see her that way.
Your head snapped up when Maria next spoke, “we need to get everyone to safety.” You nodded wordlessly and got to work setting up evacuation orders, sending in paramedics, and arranging the legal documents as you watched the chaos unfold; all the while, you kept an eye on Natasha, heart tugging at the fear in her eyes, even as she slowly came to her senses.
By the fight’s end, your work had tripled and you knew you’d be running damage control well into the morning, while the Avengers had gained a hostile press, so they wouldn’t be coming home – Natasha wouldn’t be coming home – until they fixed this.
“Y/N?” Clint called you privately, after Maria had briefed them all of the consequences.
“Yeah?”
“Tracking is off, right? Cameras too?”
“Both off. You’re untraceable; even to us.”
“Good. I’m taking them to the farm, so I just- after SHIELD, you know-”
“I get it, you can’t be too careful with these things. Say hi to everyone for me, yeah? And look after Nat while I can’t.”
“Will do. I’ll see you later, Y/N.”
Clint hung up, leaving you in the silence of the empty room. Maria had gone out to take private calls of her own, and the other residents were now forbidden from returning. You returned to your work with a sigh –  so much for the time off.
Next Part
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scoonsalicious · 13 days
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Unwanted: Chapter 21, Unacceptable - Pt. 4
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,
Word Count: 947
Previously On...: Bucky confronted Steve when he thought you two slept together. It got... ugly.
A/N: Last part of Chapter 21! We're off to Atlantic City, baby!
I am probably going to start going back to 1/day updates tomorrow, at least until I make more progress on With Friends Like These.
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
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“That was pure evil,” Sam said as you both buckled your seatbelts in the convertible you’d be using for the mission. “I knew you were a genius, Baby Girl, but damn! Didn’t realize it was evil genius! Remind me never to get on your bad side!”
You smiled and shrugged, adjusting your hair in the visor mirror and putting on a pair of sunglasses. “Serves them right, acting like I’m a fucking piece of property either one of them can claim ownership of. I hope they break each other’s noses.”
Sam laughed as he pulled the car out of the Tower’s underground parking garage and onto the city street. “We got about a two and a half hour drive,” he said. “What do you feel like listening to?”
You were prevented from answering by the sound of Cherry Pie by Warrant filling the car. You both looked around for a moment before you realized it was coming from your phone. You picked it up, staring at the screen in confusion when you saw Tony’s name flash across the screen.
“You asshole, did you hack my phone?” you asked, putting him on speaker, “Because this was certainly not your ringtone.”
“Can you blame an old man for feeling nostalgic?” Tony asked, and you could hear the grin in his voice. “Did Cap give you my message?”
“Yes,” you said, eying Sam, “and Sam was very hurt when you called him ‘birdbrain.’” Sam did his best to stifle his laugh.
You could practically hear Tony roll his eyes. “Yeah, well Rogers needs to learn not to repeat everything word for word. Listen, kiddo, I meant what I said about visiting, though. You need anything, anything at all while you’re gone, you call me, okay? I can be there before you even hang up the phone.”
You let out an exasperated sigh. “Jesus, Tony. I’m not a child, and Sam’ll have my back. I know I’m not a mighty Avenger like the rest of you, but I’m not incompetent. I’ve been trained–”
“Whoa, whoa,” Tony interrupted you, “that’s not why I’m worried. Not at all. I know you can more than handle yourself. Hell, I’d send you on this mission solo– that’s how much faith I have in your abilities.” You smiled unexpectedly at that. “I’m concerned about how this mission’s going to affect you mentally and emotionally, given your–”
You immediately took him off speaker and held the phone to your ear as he continued “--history. We’re dealing with missing women who are likely being trafficked for sex. If that’s not gonna be a potential trigger for you, I don’t know what is.”
“I’m not fragile, Boss,” you said, your voice softer now. In all the turmoil you’d gone through since finding out about Bucky and Carthage, you honestly hadn’t given much consideration to what the mission might mean to you on a psychological level. “I never said you were, kiddo. I know you’re strong. But, this is a lot. You’ve just been dealt a major blow because of Barnes and I’m putting you back in a position that’s a lot closer to your old life than you’ve been living in a long, long time. You’ve come so far, and, well, I guess I’m concerned that I’m doing you more harm than good by sending you backwards.”
“Thanks, Tony,” you murmured, touched that  he was still looking out for you, even from a distance. “That means a lot.”
“Just promise me– if it gets to be too much, if at any point you're struggling, you’ll tell me. I’ll pull you out, mission be damned.”
“But Boss,” you interjected, “these women need our help! We can’t just–”
“I know that, Pocket,” he countered, “and we will help them. But I’m not going to risk your mental wellbeing to do it. If it gets to be too much, we’ll pull you out, and we’ll find another way. Trust me.”
Your trust was running in short supply these days, but if there was one person who had never failed you, had never let you down, and was deserving of all the trust you had to offer, it was Tony Stark. “Yeah, okay,” you eventually agreed. “I promise. If it gets to be too much for me, I’ll let you know.”
“Good,” said Tony, and you knew he’d probably expected more of a fight from you, but you were too mentally exhausted to put one up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I promised Pepper I’d do a stopover in Havana on my way home from Belize and pick up this massage oil she absolutely loves. See, it warms up when you–”
“Good bye, Tony,” you laughed, ending the call before he could go into further nauseating detail. You shook your head, smiling to yourself. You noticed Sam glancing over at you. “What?” you asked him.
“Nothin’” he said, eyes back on the road. “Just think it’s sweet how much Tony cares about you, that’s all. I knew you two were close, like brother and sister, but I never saw it in action before. It’s nice.”
“Oh,” you said, surprised he hadn’t jumped to the typical conclusions people came to when they considered your relationship. “Yeah, he’s really been the best.”
“So, how did you two meet, anyway?” Sam asked as the two of you pulled onto the highway. “I know Tony said the strip club, but I figure there’s got to be more to it than that. If you don’t mind sharing, that is. I mean, we still have two hours of driving left to do.”
You chuckled. “Nah, it’s alright– I don’t mind telling you. It’s actually kind of a funny story…”
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