#NO ONE WOULD HAVE KIDS

[cemeterything]

are we still doing this because i have a late submission

#🐉 #this is less about fan content and more about that awful lazy one size fits all #'10 years later theyre happily married with a cute little nuclear family' trope #because ive read some genuinely incredible fics about characters who would Not fucking have kids #ending up with accidental pregnancy scares or child acquisitions that get treated with all the nuance #and thoughtful handling they deserve #but also. i reread one of my favourite fics yesterday and when one character jokingly brought up the idea of children #and the other reacted with genuine visceral disgust and said what hideously awful parents theyd be #i lit up like a fucking christmas tree

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[theoldkyokodied]

One wedding and three funerals

Background paintings under the cut

#tomgreg #succession #tom wambsgans #greg hirsch #shiv roy #roman roy #kendall roy #yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much #this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting' #yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess #but yeah i hope yall connect the dots #i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh) #honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle #at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya #my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr #anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this #i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan #it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs #his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away #basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs #and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't #but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)

[raycatzdraws]

Wolfie and Four friendship appreciation doodles! They're shared secrets besties! I hope Four's distrust of the shadow crystal doesn't drive anything between them. Wild found his way into this compilation with a force. It seems I can't draw Wolfie and not include him too!

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu four #lu twilight #lu wolfie #lu wild #lu legend #lu hyrule #fairy hyrule #I drew most of these on my weekends at camp #hence the swearing probably lol can't swear in front of the campers #man I did not leave that mountain for the whole summer and I wouldn't have it any other way #I was there 6+ weeks straight #some of the other counselors who also stayed and I would occasionally make the hour drive into town #a bunch of us went to see the Barbie movie together and like 2/3 through the film the fire alarm went off and we were evacuated ajhsgfsdf #we all held hands to not be separated in case there was an actual emergency and some guy was like 'look at the preschoolers' #AND AAAAA I won't be separated from my counselor buddies!!!! RAAAHH this is what we would have gotten the kids to do #so I guess we're just too good at our jobs lol #that one LU post with the lads lined up with their bows? It's AWESOME #but I taught a bunch of kids archery this summer and none of the lads have the right posture lol #I'm walking up and down that line readjusting all of them ahsgdsdf #Imagine Wars going to Wind though like 'remember to pull back to your smile! :D ' #and Wind just deadeye staring him down like you serious rn? #caught and removed a scorpion from the lake cabin biffy this summer - that was very exciting #calmed the campers down and put them to bed and then rolled up my sleeves and asked the program staff who was staying with us #for emotional support #her only experience with scorpions was from animal crossing so she was like 'get ready to run' and I'm- I think we'll be okay #anyways it's her perched on one of the toilets with a spray bottle of bleach and me with an empty tupperware from dinner #I caught it under the tupperware but IT MOVED THE TUPPERWARE #we drowned it in bleach and it like finally died but it took a while and then we flung it into the woods BYE BUGGY

[egophiliac]

this is basically what happened, right?

(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them #can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks! #fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out) #also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side. #he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble #once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head. #anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours #but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious #specifically because you know silver would NEVER. #100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him. #lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c #silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father. #lilia: #lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids #you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would #he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along. #(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him) #i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations #but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there #sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there. #and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too #but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.

[siphersaysstuff]

dumbest

motherfucker

on the goddamn planet

#no really I legit consider him the stupidest dipshit on planet Earth #due to sheer wasted potential #any one of you out there with the $$ he grew up with would have made better use of it #instead his ambition is being a d-tier shitposter and god i suppose #a fundamentally incurious lackwit lacking even a surface-level understanding of anything he vaguely “engages” with #the kids at his school really should have pushed him down the stairs just a little harder #one less nazi fuck in the world

[intricatedemonicrituals]

A List of Films That Don't End in Throuples But Should

What movies do you think I should add to the list?

#the princes bride is also on this list #I don't know what the throuple would be but I feel like it should have one #ferris bueller's day off #butch cassidy and the sundance kid #road to el dorado #star wars #star wars prequels #padme amidala #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #pirates of the caribbean #potc #red notice #tremors #spiderman #singing in the rain #princess bride #movie throuples #polyamory #lgbtqia #bisexual awakening #witches of eastwick

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.

like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid

#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing #I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked #i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like #most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents. #and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up #if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention. #kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement #even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe #your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention #they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID #if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional #not something that must be earned #telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand #if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera #your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust! #bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH

[beanbagstab]

Sonamy but they’re scene & emo again

#sonamy #sonamy forever #sonic x amy #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #amy rose fanart #sonic fanart #sonic fandom #sth #sonic #scene #emo #scemo #emo subculture #digital fanart #the emos have returned #it was never a phase #I’m surprised you guys liked the first one #honestly I didn’t think it would resonate with so many but I’m glad it did #never underestimate the emos and the scene kids #got it

[chloesimaginationthings]

I’m really curious how you would draw the Five Missing Children.

Technically I’ve drawn them! Only the movie versions though, sometime I’ll do the game ones too!

#ask reply #tbh it would be a lot of fun to design them #we have a clear idea of just Susie from the games? #and maybe Cassidy but that was never confirmed #So yeah sometime I’ll draw them! #I want to draw Charlie first though #I have a design for her ready #I STILL love this piece btw #think it’s one of my best fnaf comics still #these poor kids deserved better #btw the extra three is a young Vanessa / Mike and Abby

[audhd-nightwing]

things in DC canon i’ll literally never get over

1. dick finds out batman replaced him as robin (without asking him) from the NEWSPAPER and simultaneously finds out bruce adopted a new kid without telling him (to make things worse: bruce didn’t even adopt dick)

2. dick finds out jason died from the newspaper (AGAIN? REALLY BRUCE?) and bruce had the fucking funeral WITHOUT HIM while he was still in space

#i’m only like 80% sure these are fully canon btw #correct me if i'm wrong #dc comics #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #robin!jason #batman #batman comics #nightwing #batman and robin #ok yes ik there’s a reason bruce didn’t adopt dick #aka he didn’t want to replace dick’s father #but imagine being a teenager and your foster dad adopts a kid without even telling you #and then giving him YOUR name without asking #like no one would feel great about that #i will never forgive bruce for not telling dick jason died / having the funeral without him #though i do love some yummy angst #where hood!jason yells at dick for not even being at the funeral #and dicks like ‘i was still in fucking space!’ #like yes bruce was grieving but BRO thats ur other son come on

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

#writeblr #i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again #other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding #and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger #godhelpme. #i was always kind of taken aback #because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything “PG-13” because this was my workplace #and it was kind of their workplace #too. besides #i love swearing #and since i couldn't swear #neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent #they needed to choose a really specific time #because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened. #i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them #that censorship is stupid #but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together #also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry #the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy #would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER

[ghostbsuter]

Water drips down in the corner, the steady dop drop drop— does wonders for the bat.

Batman has been taken, tied up, and undressed of his utility belt. It takes him a second to figure out who took him, by the large but empty and run down warehouse, the sound of the shore not far away.

The docks. He shuffles, bound and comm off.

Then, the steel enforced door slams open and Joker enters.

"Batsy!" He calls, overjoyed. The man walks to the bound vigilante and crouches to his height.

"It's been so long, hasn't it been?"

The vigilante grunts. "Joker."

"Today will be different." He goes on, "today, we have," the crime Prince drums his fingers on Batman's thigh. "A guest!"

He freezes at that, Joker has a civilian.

(Oracle sends out the message, her voice firm, and the coords are shared to the rest of the clan in seconds as she looks at her monitor. Batman's red dot at the harbour bright.)

"I'm a guest now?" The voice of a child asks, it brings slight confusion that the boy wasn't tied nor harmed in any way.

It's relief that he seems okay, but the danger of standing next to the Joker has Batman wiggling in his restrains.

"Is that a promotion or demotion for son?"

A brief look of annoyance enters Joker before being smoothed out, the boy is dealing with a delicate time bomb. Uncomfortably close to the madman.

(He hurries in the process of breaking free.)

"My son! My blood!" Sings the clown, throwing his hands around the boy's shoulders and prancing around.

Which brings another question.

Son?

Cool lighting hits the boy's head and the tuffs of pink, blue and green become more obvious, hidden beneath black hair previously.

Joker and Harley have a child. A son.

He will visit harley later. The boy comes first.

"Dante! Danyal! Daniel?" Joker croons, shaking the boy. "What was it again?" He stops, turning his son toward him with a grin.

(Robin drops down behind him, hiding, katana ready to be swung.)

"Danny, actually," the child— Danny– shrugs off the hands and steps back. Unflinching from the judging stare, simply waving off the hands creeping to his throat.

"Danny," the name is tested, and the Prince of Crime hums to himself. "We can always replace it as Joker Jr! It fits you better than Danny."

(Red Robin and Spoiler get on position above them, ready to pounce from the construction pillars.)

"Yeah, I don't know about that." He chuckles nervous, catching Batman's eyes and—

His eyes alone scream of fear, scared– scared—!!

"We will get you an acid flower, a new suit as well, the hoodie looks horrible on you." The man notes, humming.

"I prefer hammers." Danny replies with tense shoulders.

Joker clicks his tongue, "You always went after your mother." he hisses, outright glaring at his son now. His hand tightened around the crowbar he'd gathered not long ago.

"I mean," he hesitates, eye trailing off the Joker and over his shoulder. "I did come out of her."

The sound of a loaded gun shatters the silence, and Joker is pulling Danny, switching their positions and pushing him right in front of the gun in Red Hood's hand.

"Always a coward, hiding behind others, aren't you." Danny stops himself from squealing. That's the Red Hood!

(Escrima sticks light up with electricity as Red Hood speaks.)

Joker is ticked off, party ruined and surrounded now that he looks around.

Oh well, he can get his son on his villain path another day.

Cackling, he evades the escrimas, dodging the wonder boy and evading the twin attacks from above.

He pulls out a trigger and presses the bright red Button.

"Have fun bats and birds!"

The warehouse is completely flooded with fear gas, scarecrow wouldn't be mad he sacrificed one of his warehouses, will he?

It's all blurry. In one moment, his view is shrouded, and he's coughing. In another, he gets picked up and brought outside, the Joker gone.

An oxygen mask is placed on him by a paramedic, being handed off to an ambulance that had been called.

Peeking around, he sees Red Hood (!) still lingering around. Danny catches his eye and with a wave, the man is walking towards him.

He simply crosses his arms and tilts his head, waiting.

"Could I get a picture?" Danny blurts out, flushing after and coughing, holding the oxygen mask in his lap.

Red Hood makes a show of his shoulder sagging before crouching down and leaning toward him.

Later, Danny will look at the picture with a boyish grin, crooked and charming.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

A continuation

#dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #fic prompt #writing prompt #dc x dp prompt #idk how the chemicals in joker and harley would affect a child tbf #so danny gets nice tuffs of blue pink and green #danny is the kid of Joker and Harley Quinn #look man #if harley was aware he was back in gotham she would have killed the joker before he knew of his son #batman is so confused #who allowsd the joekr to reproduce #edited: im actually been thinking ahrd decided the original was better #child danny would be greay to traumatize #also #dannys fav robin was the sec one #he has a complicated relationship with his dad #or rayher no relationship at all #hes gonna bash this mans head in with a hammer #harley will be so proud #sorry rebloggers for changing it!!!

[stealingpotatoes]

Red hair totally fit the nightsister aesthetic !

But the Great Mothers would ask Merrin hard questions like why she reeks of Jedi 😉

you're so right on both counts

(commission info // kofi support!)

#personally idk if merrical would go make kids (u can get those on the street for free) #but it WOULD be really funny if one of them went 'hey i have a way we could get more nightsisters AND jedi--' #merrical #merrin #nightsister merrin #cal kestis #jfo #jedi survivor #star wars #thanks for the ask! #my doods #merrical kids

[egophiliac]

hiii im sure you’ve answered this before but in regards to your twst x Pokémon, how do you choose which Pokémon go give to the cast?? really curious since your choices are unique :O

unique in a good way, I hope? 😅 (jk jk I haven't come across too many pokemon AUs, so I was going in without preconceptions, I guess!) I was sorta aiming somewhere between doing, like, a full AU with internal consistency and everything, and just picking entirely based on theme/character, so maybe that's why! basically I just set some arbitrary rules (no legendaries/no repeats/evo stages based on year) and then went on ~vibes~. a couple were also suggestions (thank you guys!) and last-minute decisions, so it was a bit of a delightful mess of ideas!

my one regret is that I should have given Riddle a Togedemaru after all. ...you know what, he can have one now, why not

#art #twisted wonderland #pokemon #poketwst #okay i have one other correction to make #which is that i think vil should also have a garbodor #NO LISTEN #i have thought about it a lot but i just do not want to give him a milotic #and this is because -- now hear me out #neige would actually be the one with a milotic #(it fits his personality more and it's even in his colors!) #when they were kids vil had a trubbish and neige had a feebas and vil felt superior until the whole milotic thing happened #and he's secretly kind of bitter about it #but he also secretly loves his garbodor a lot and gets mad when people make fun of it #IS HE NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF THEM #also garbodor ferments poison inside of it! it would be the perfect alchemy assistant! #I'M RIGHT OKAY #(i am also a big fan of trubbish/garbodor and i don't personally think they're ugly anyway) #anyway enjoy this drawing because it completely exploded my computer #(it was not the drawing's fault it was just unfortunate timing) #i've mostly got things working again but oof. it's been. a day. 🙃

[multifanritz]

the batkids getting kidnapped must be such a hassle for bruce cuz he has to play 20 questions just to figure out which kid it is.

"The short one? So not Dick or Jay. Damian is home right now, so not him. That leaves 4. Black hair? Not Stephanie, okay. Looks bored? Honestly, that doesn't narrow things down at all. A girl? Oh, okay it's Cassandra. Alright, tell her to not take too long, dinner is in 30 minutes."

#cass gets back in 5 #he has so many kids omg #i feel like they would all look bored #regardless of their nightlife #they each have gotten kidnapped at least once #theres no one they havent #batkids #dc comics #batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #stephanie brown #steph brown #damian wayne #duke thomas #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #batman headcanon #batfamily #batman