#Making him feel guilty for daring to even attempt the betterment of all - for giving pieces of himself away and try to be a good person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saturnsnakebars · 3 months

Note

Hey! Do you have any headcanons for what it was like for kaidan before he confessed his feelings, like figuring out he’s catching feelings and deciding to do something about it?

omg yes!!!

warnings: some spice but nothing too bad

Kaidan when he has a crush:

- He is AWKWARD.

- In the beginning, of course he cares for you. He’s sworn to be your shield, and as a result he’s developed a liking for you, a soft spot if you will.

- It never even occurred to him that he treated you differently. At taverns, he didn’t feel excitement when someone came his way with an offer. He started declining people without even realizing the reason why.

- He also starts offering you things, such as food and water without you even asking him or telling him you needed them.

- Low-key kinda starts to get jealous. For instance, other people flirting or if you decide to spend the night with someone else. It makes his skin crawl.

- If you travel with Vilkas, Farkas, or Erik, they are the first to call him out on this behavior. Mercilessly teasing him on the daily about it actually. It’s how he first starts to notice how he feels about you, even though he does not dare to admit it yet.

- This is where the painfully awkward flirting begins, and the endless teasing from his friends. He’s secretly writing down pick up lines for you, but he hasnt tried saying them yet.

- Starts taking mental notes of the little things about you. The food you like, the flowers you like, the music at the tavern that you like, all of it. Starts giving you things you like intentionally now to try and get a reaction out of you.

- Your reactions will determine his day, so be careful. If a flower gift goes well for him, he’s practically jumping for joy for hours after. He gets nervous around you, his whole body feels like it has been lit on fire when one of these interactions occur.

- Eventually he starts saying more things to you. Commenting under his breath about how good your ass looks, or how beautiful you look that day. Sometimes you miss it, and other times you act like to didn’t hear just to ask him and watch him blush.

- At this point he’s already admitted feelings for you to his friends, but he has still to make a move on you. He’s afraid of ruining something that seems too good to be true.

- He spends days trying to figure out the perfect time and place to try and talk to you about it. Of course there were plenty of failed attempts on his part, only because he got major cold feet and couldn’t even bring himself to begin trying. He plans talking to you at a quiet moment with just the two of you, getting help from his friends on how approach it.

- When be finally does manage to scrap up some courage, perhaps it goes a little too far (wink wink). He did not mean to rush so quickly into bed with you on the first night. He’s feeling extremely guilty, but after talking with him and discussing how you want things, he feels much better.

#kaidan romance #kaidan skyrim #kaidan 2 #skyrim x reader #skyrim headcanon #skyrim #kaidan mod #x reader #fanfic #the elder scrolls

75 notes · View notes

deathbxnny · 10 months

Note

Hello I was wondering if you could do a platonic relationship with blade himeko jing yuan, gepard with a fem!child/daughter!reader (preferably biologically but you can choose if they are) that’s like a totally a daddy’s/mommy’s girl that wants be like them when they grow up and just looks up to them so much and just just mimic the things they do and follow them everywhere and how would they feel about it 🥹🫶

-----♡

A/N: Give me your beautiful brain, Anon, because I absolutely love this idea. Thank you for this super cute request!<33

Content: Fluff, some angst if you squint very hard, child reader, hsr characters are bio parents, platonic relationships, sfw

Reader is reffered to as being afab!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》Himeko

You two were always at eachothers sides ever since you were born. You rarely ever left her alone and when you did, it was because she was away for a mission or had an important meeting you couldn't join. But she always made it up to you in the end with many kisses and hugs. She loved the way you followed her around and insisted on being with her at all times. It was her favourite thing in the world.

And when you got a little older and began to go through her closet in an attempt to dress like her, she finally got you clothes that matched hers perfectly. It took alot of self-restraint from Himeko to not gush and squeal over you strutting around looking like her. It filled her with pride and just caused her to spoil you even more.

You looking up to her also just spurred her on to do better at work. She wanted you to be proud of your mother as well after all and she'd make sure you would be. She practically melts hearing you brag about how great of a mama she is to you.

-----♡

》Blade

Blade found you annoying at first. You always followed him everywhere, always repeated his words in his "serious" voice, always stood and mimicked him at all times. He didn't understand why you were doing that, what about him was so interesting. He was even nearly offended, that you dared mock your own father in such ways.

But as you grew older, he began actually secretly enjoying it. You were easier to deal with, as you always looked up to him and followed his every word perfectly. And once you ask to learn how to wield a sword like he did? Well, he might just start being proud. How could he not be, when his daughter was so compliant and good.

However, deep down, he always still kept you at arms length. He didn't want you to end up like him. You could dress up like him. You could wield a sword like him. You could talk, act and walk like him... but just don't be him. He wasn't a good a man to mimick or be. So the least he could do was be a good father and keep you from suffering the same fate as him.

-----♡

》Jing Yuan

He found it amusing and adorable, when you followed him around everywhere, acting like a small general and cutely "ordering" everyone around in the commanding voice your father always used. He spoiled you rotten in forms of matching outfits and hair ornaments, enjoying the way you lit up in excitement at being able to match with your dear father.

He'll train you in the art of the sword the moment you express interest in it. His eyes would shine with pride as you attempt to duel him, completely determined to reach his standard of mastery. You were proud of your father was and wanted everyone to know. No one was spared of your praising words to him, whilst he listened on with amusement and love.

You looking up to him made him even more efficient at his job at general. He wanted to make you even prouder. He wanted to protect you, the small part of himself that was still so pure. And he'd do anything for it.

-----♡

》Gepard Landau

Gepard always felt so guilty, when he had to leave you behind with Serval whilst he was on week long shifts on the front lines. It was hard to explain to a child why he had to do so and it often left you in tears and Serval having to gently hush you again for him. It was frustrating and tiring, but it was all just so that you can have a better life.

So he was pleasantly surprised, when he one day returned to you mocking his marches and wearing a little suit like his, that was made by your favourite aunt herself. He'd watch you from the doorway, his heart aching at how cute and innocent you looked. Yet another reminder to why he did what he did.

You turn to him, a serious look on your small face, as you ordered him to stand at attention. With a light smile, he does as you say. He finds it adorable and amusing, although he'd never let you join the Silvermaneguards once your older. But seeing you appreciate and love him despite his absence makes all the pain worth it.

-----♡

A/N: Alright, I hope this was okay! Thank you again for the cute request!<33

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr blade #hsr blade x reader #hsr jing yuan #hsr jing yuan x reader #hsr gepard #hsr gepard x reader #hsr himeko x reader #hsr himeko #hsr

267 notes · View notes

justgayloringeverthrone · 2 months

Note

Second, bitch wtf? How was he a shitty friend, when he literally saved her and her family's life multiple times? And he was a teenager with *GASP 😱* reactions of a teenager, he saw the love of his life, the only women he'd ever love, kiss another man and he had every right to be jealous. He obliviously didn't hold it against her personally if he managed to find time to be with her, along with working 12 hours a day, six days a week. And you're pretending as if Peeta didn't do the very same thing by saying "aLmOsT tHoUgHt ThAt KiSs WaS rEaL" and don't you dare say that Peeta apologized and Gale didn't because Gale might've not apologized with words, but actions.

And third, Gale knows a LOT about survival. He did not blame her, if he blamed her than why would he constantly be with and around her, he was jealous and apparently his crime is that he wasn't completely okay with the girl he loved kissing another dude, the dude who, let's not forget, stalked her for yearsl

okay one yes he did save her and her family's lies but other than that he wasn't really a good or supportive friend. second yes he's jealous but that's not the problem the problem is is that he's mad that she had to kiss penis to survive and he's making her feel guilty about it. I mean he even said it himself "I told you he hated me," I say.

"It's the way he hates you. It's so...familiar. I used to feel like that," he admits. "When I'd watch you kissing him on the screen. Only I knew I wasn't being entirely fair. He can't see that."

Yes Peter was just too but the difference is he realized it was wrong of him to hold it against her for doing what she had to do to survive and that's the difference Peeta take accountability and Gale does not. also Gale just tries to pressure kindness into choosing between him and Peeta even though she tells him multiple times that she can't think about a relationship right now because of her fear of being killed and he doesn't listen and he keeps bringing this up again again I'm going to give you a good example of this

"I knew you'd kiss me."

"How?" I say. Because I didn't know myself.

"Because I'm in pain," he says. "That's the only way I get your attention." He picks up the box. "Don't worry, Katniss. It'll pass."

this is what I'm talking about he literally admitted to making katniss to feel guilty and to kiss him oh and then he complains about her kissing him it's one of my most hated Gale moments because this it's just pure manipulation there's no ifs and their buts about it he knew how she was going to react feeling to him rejected and feeling like he doesn't have a chance with her romantically and he did it anyway and that to me is gross.

here's another example of him being manipulative and blaming katniss.

"I thought...I'll never compete with that. No matter how much pain I'm in." He spins the feather between his thumb and forefinger. "I don't stand a chance if he doesn't get better. You'll never be able to let him go. You'll always feel wrong about being with me."

This is blame. Straight up, Grade A premium blame being put on Katniss because OMG she has strong feelings for someone NOT Gale. This isn’t about her feelings. This is all about him and how he’s been ‘mistreated’ by her. He’s laying all this guilt on her because he can’t handle

I hate that he was making someone else’s pain all about himself. Seriously, your “rival” has been tortured and brainwashed and all you can think about is how this affects you? While your supposed best friend is clearly miserable about this, and all you can do is just add to her emotional turmoil instead of making any kind of attempt at being a supportive friend?

what other example of this type of stuff but these two are the ones that piss me off the most and it really just shows to me that gale would never be a good match for katniss and Peeta is 100 times more better because like even though he's jealous he still a good friend the kindness he is there to support her and be there for her and coming her through nightmares I mean this man literally gives her a locket with Gale in it and so hopes that the create a life together this man is so selfless.

"she had to kiss penis to survive" IM SORRY I'M NOT JUDGING YOU FOR A TYPO BUT THIS HAS ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR IN TEARS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Anyways back to the point, as I said, Gale doesn't apologize with words but over time admits he was wrong with his actions.

Second he doesn't push her into a relationship when she isn't ready, that would be Peeta, Gale saw she didn't want it and then backed off after he kissed her, she is the one who continued something romantic. He didn't manipulate her. He was insecure. He was jealous. You can't say he manipulated her just because he loved her in a different way than Peeta.

And while we're on the subject, yes, sometimes people think about how a worse situation for someone else affects them negatively. Gale didn't praise The Capitol for what they did to Peeta, he cooperated with him while still trying to protect Katniss.

Gale was a morally gray character. He wasn't perfect, nobody's saying that he is. But he was realistic and complex and different and he sure as hell was better than Peeta. His motives and actions are much deeper than even Katniss' so I understand how most people can't even comprehend how morally complex he was.

Also you didn't answer why you're following me, like, genuine confusion and no hate but your shitty English made me not understand some of the things you said.

#gale hawthorne #gale hawthorne defense squad #katniss everdeen #everthrone #everlark slander #everlark #peeta mellark slander #peeta mellark #the hunger games #johanna mason #finnick odair #galeniss

34 notes · View notes

mymainwastoocluttered · 2 years

Text

My Girl, My Girl, My Precious Girl (Lilia)

A fighting man forgets each cut, each knock, each bruise, each fall. But a fighting man cannot forget why his love don't roam no more.

NOTE: I only write for female reader but everyone is welcome to read it!

Both the title and the summary are bits from a song called Love Don't Roam. If you know Doctor Who... you know what awaits you.

ANGST

— (╥﹏╥)

Lilia has loved many times, and he has sworn off love many more times. He likes to joke to himself, in a feeble attempt to comfort his broken heart, that he was cursed to always fall for the ones with shorter lifespans.

But this time around, he truly outdid himself.

Despite his many lovers, Lilia never allowed himself to fall for a human. A mighty challenge when the humans stubbornly spread thorough the world, never satisfied with stagnancy. But he managed, because to the fae, humans lives are as brief as ants' lives are to humans. And Lilia knows himself, a perk and a curse of longevity, he has always known that falling for a human would be too easy.

Humans, different from the fae who live on and on like an unmoving star, drift with the winds like clouds. Humans are always so very alive, always doing something, always going somewhere, always living as much as they can in the short years they are granted.

And Lilia, the odd fae who disliked the stagnant nobility of Briar Valley, knew that his treacherous heart would not resist a human.

And he still knows, now more than ever, as he watches his beloved blow the candles of another birthday cake. How many cakes have they shared already? How many more can they share still?

The skin of her hands is wrinkled despite the price of her hand cream. The once round cheeks deflated, sagging tiredly over her face. The hair on top of her head is thinning day by day. Talks about canes are already common between them, much how it had been before she got glasses for her deteriorating vision. Her voice trembles here and there, and coughing is news to no one.

Their nights of dancing for the moon and stars just a memory now.

Lilia can't even feel bitter, for she is still the most resplendent person he has ever seen, and ever will see. Her eyes still shine with kindness, with intelligence, with the warmth she holds his heart within. Her own heart beats stubbornly inside her chest, as if daring something to try and stop it. Her touches are still gentle and loving. Her laughter still sounds like paradise and her presence still humbles the very definition of beauty to shame.

The inevitable is coming.

All of Briar Valley knows it. She is already overstaying her welcome thanks to his and his family's joined efforts, but ultimately, Death has to come fetch her.

While Lilia has to live another millennium or so.

He could follow her. He could and, if he where to be honest, he'd gladly do so, but he knows she'd hate him for it. He knows that she wants him to be happy, to be with their family, to keep moving forward like humans do. Like she does. So he promises he will try his very best until the very end, whenever that may happen.

Lilia isn't sure if he can do that as well as humans do. But for her, he will try and keep going, finding his comfort on the thought that maybe, maybe they shall meet again.

"Yeah, I'd like that. To meet you again next life." His wife grins at him, hands holding his like he is the fragile one—and he is. "Maybe next time you shouldn't come out so pretty, give some of us a chance, ey?"

Lilia laughs, kissing her hands in adoration.

"I can only promise to find you again, love."

"You better. Now, cut me a piece of cake, will you? And Sebek, this better have enough sugar to make me taste colors, no more zero sugar cakes!"

Sebek chokes on his tea, definitely guilty of at least reducing the amount of sugar in the cake greatly. Malleus only laughs, hiding the green haired man behind him so he can take the brunt of her sugar craving wrath.

Lilia has loved many times, and he has sworn off love many more times. He has a tendency to fall for those with short lifespans, those who shine brightly because each day could be their last, and there's always so much to do when that's the case.

But Lilia has only loved one human.

And he shall forever only love one human.

Just as he had feared.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines #twst x reader #x fem reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia vanrouge #angst #twst angst

230 notes · View notes

macabrecake · 2 years

Text

Nothing big just a soft/fluffy Leon drabble I've had stashed away for awhile and thought I'd share it. 100% self indulgent as well, just really needing something like this ya know?

It's one of those days.

Where words are painfully sharp, enough to pierce your skin and reach your aching heart. Where some actions just rub you the wrong way like sandpaper. Where nothing sounds appetizing even if your body begs for some kind of sustenance with a low grumble. Where you don't dare to glance at the mirror because you know the utter disdain you'll feel for whatever looks back. Where you wish the entire world would simply go away and be quiet. You hate these days- feeling nothing but disgust for when you get like this. It's so pathetic, and you know it.

Someone else doesn't really like these days either, but for an entirely different reason.

For Leon, you're normally this little ball of sunshine. Your happy-go-lucky nature is always a welcoming boost that he deeply cherishes in his chaotic, dreary way of life. So to see you struck down so bad like this...

It hurts him.

Yet he also understands it, which makes witnessing it from you even more painful, when he sits down next to you and carefully pulls you into his lap. No words need to be exchanged. He knows all too well when you immediately latch onto him while letting out another quiet sob into his chest. Allowing him to be your life preserver to avoid the monstrous waves that crash into you in their attempts to sweep you under and drown you.

You still feel guilty, however. Disappointed in yourself for the fact that Leon was putting up with this. But you're very grateful. "I'm sorry." You whisper, causing his hand to pause the gentle circular motions he was putting into your back in order to give a light, reassuring squeeze. "Sweetheart, there's nothing you need to be sorry for. Everyone has days like this. You've even seen me deal with them."

A small sniffle escapes you. Sure, he's dealt with them numerous times, but he's so much stronger about keeping himself together. It's a trait of his that you're a little envious of- wishing you could do the same.

Luckily, before your mind starts delving further into that newly made pit of self hate, Leon's gentle tone continues. "I know it's tough, and that people can be jerks." His nose then lightly buries itself in your hair. "It doesn't make things any easier when your own mind starts attacking you too."

His frown soon deepens when he feels you shrink and curl up into yourself, hating that he's right, and making you feel even more ashamed. Leon goes to retrieve you, softly taking your face in his hands so you'll look up at him. "But you don't have to keep it to yourself to the point it hurts you like this." He softly reassures, letting his thumb wipe away your sorrows. "You can talk to me. You know that no matter what it is, I'll listen."

The pure warmth of his tone, wrapping you up so snuggly, mixing with the undying kindness and patience swimming in his beautiful ocean blues- has you breaking under his gaze even more. Yet it's so relieving. Knowing he'll pull you from this dark, lonely space and make you feel whole again. It's just enough to tug a smile onto your face, a small but truthful one, as you nod. Leon mirrors it tenfold when he spots that familiar sight while lightly bumping your nose with his.

"There she is." He gently cooes. His soft, plump lips catching yours after cleaning up the rest of your tears. He can't bring himself to leave the rest of your face alone though, that'd be pretty rude of him, so he sends his kisses to every bit of your face he can touch. "There's my Sunshine." A giggle bubbles up your throat as your smile grows. Unable to resist his honey sweet, dorky nature.

Once he's sure that you're in a better state of mind, he decides to test the waters. "Could you do something for me?" Leon asks, earning a curious stare from you. "It's nothing much, just humor me a little. Ok?" It's still unclear where he's going with this, but you agree nonetheless with a small nod. Making the man's smile grow as he lightly ticks his head to the side. Following where he was motioning to, your eyes meet a small tray sitting beside you. On the tray was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a hot cup of tea, and a little bowl of mixed fruit.

Your chest aches at the sweet gesture, but in a good way of course, as you glance back at Leon. "Mind eating something for me?" He speaks quietly, his eyes holding yours with a silent plea.

How on earth could you ever say 'no' to a face like that?

You easily cave with a small laugh as you wipe away some much happier tears now, before obliging him by plucking out a strawberry and take a bite. The hopeful smile he held breaks into a full grin as his strong arms lightly squish you against him more, his own self made fortress to shield you from the world and all the troubles it holds, encouraging you with a light peck on your cheek. "Atta girl."

And just like that, as Leon picks up the pieces of you to patiently put them back together with all the love and care in the world. Your heart suddenly didn't feel so heavy anymore. "Thank you Leon." You whisper, cuddling up to him more. A soft chuckle is his response as he snuggles right back up to you, and sneaking another kiss from you just so he can hear you laugh again. "Anytime, Button." He speaks in sweet earnest, "I'm right here for you no matter what." His forehead then lightly rests against yours, that same adoring gaze dancing in his sky blue eyes.

"Always."

#once again I left the iteration of Leon vague so any version could work #figured this could help anyone else who's also in a bad spot right now #leon kennedy #resident evil #resident evil 2 remake #resident evil 4 #resident evil infinite darkness #resident evil damnation #resident evil 6 #resident evil vendetta #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon kennedy fluff

197 notes · View notes

minjiwritesstuff · 5 months

Text

Kingdom Reaction: Their S/O Rejects Their Cuddles

Dann

Determined to cuddle you. Will use all the strength in his body to fight you getting away. He might not succeed, but you bet he's gonna do all he can to try. If he succeeds, he holds you to him tightly and won't let you go before whining about how you tried to get away from him.

Arthur

Finds it funny that you're playing this with him, because he knows he'll do the exact same thing to you when the time comes. He'll try to lure you to get in his arms with cute gestures, knowing you'll give in pretty easily.

Mujin

Dramatic. How dare you reject his cuddles? He's gonna pout and sit far from you. You want to reject him? Well now you can't even touch him at all. He'll often take glances at you to see if you're ready to drop your game and if you're not, he's not either. You better believe he'll drop his game only if you drop yours.

Louis

Don't play this game with him. He might love to cuddle a lot but he's a brat, so if you reject him, he'll do the same until you apologize and lowkey beg for him to cuddle you (kinky much). Will be the happiest to cuddle you again once your apology pleased him and he'll have the biggest smile on his face but until then? he'll watch you suffer without his cuddles and find it funny.

Ivan

Poor boy is confused. He thinks he did something wrong and that you're mad at him. He'll probably go through a thousand scenarios in his mind to try and find out what's wrong before asking you. When he'd ask it'd make you feel guilty and you'd cuddle him quickly again.

Hwon

Just stares at you like ??? while waiting for his cuddles. Definitely would give you puppy eyes as you still don't cuddle him. He,s ready to wait hours if he must, or is ready to give as many attempts as he possibly can. The boy loves his cuddles so much.

Jahan

He'd get a bit sad as he'd have no clue if you're joking or not. He usually knows when to tell apart these things but when it comes to rejected cuddles or affection, he's never able to. Similarly to Yoosung he'd ask you what's wrong and if he did something, making you feel bad and pull him in your arms.

Chiwoo

Another one that gets sad and confused. Don't play with the boy's heart like this. He'll look at you with puppy eyes trying to not tear up. He's just scared he did or said something wrong and that you're now mad at him. You'll need to reassure him and cuddle him for the rest of the night because he'll be like a scared kitten.

#kingdom #kingdom imagines #kingdom reactions

12 notes · View notes

nervousladytraveler · 1 year

Note

Dare I ask, could you give us some snippet from Like someone… sequel?🙈

@veryflowerobservation Any time! The good news is that I'm happy to share wee snippets of that project whenever I'm asked. The bad news is that I don't think I'll post any of it to AO3 until the whole thing is complete (I've come to believe serial posting hurts my writing process but more on that later). Here's a rough (very unedited) bit that takes place about 5 months after the epilogue. The lines in bold are lifted from The Miller's Dance (and played with). Don't worry--it's not the putrid throat. And thanks for the ask!

---

“Oh, hello Ross,” Demelza whispered hoarsely into the phone. Ross could tell at once something was amiss and that she was trying to hide it.

“Did I get you at a bad time?” It was better to coax information out of her. If he asked her outright she’d be on the defensive.

“No no, I’m just,” she paused and coughed, careful to move away from her mobile as she did so. Still he could hear how it caught in her throat, jagged and raw, almost like a dog's bark.

“Demelza?” he said gently but with an undisguised firmness. “You don't sound well.“

“Thanks, Ross. And I thought I sounded like a sexy old movie star,” she laughed. Then the cough returned and he could imagine her wincing in pain. “Yes, yes, I’m under the weather. I made it to my lecture today but then came straight home and haven’t moved since. It’s some stupid flu or somethin’...”

“Something? What are your symptoms, besides the sore throat?”

“Well, that’s enough really--it does feel like razor blades--and I ache all over,” she sighed.

“Sounds like the flu. Any fever?”

“I dunno. I don't have a thermometer--well not one for humans anyway. But I don't feel warm--I’m really cold in fact.”

“Bundle up and get in bed. Take some paracetamol and drink loads of fluids,” he said. He knew all the things he was supposed to tell her but somehow his words rang empty. She needed more than chicken broth and a hot water bottle--she needed care. The one thing he couldn't give to her from so far away.

“Okay, Ross, maybe I’ll do that.”

“Maybe?” he laughed. Still, she was more agreeable than he’d expected. That wasn’t a good sign. “I’ll ring you later to check in?”

“Yes, I’ll keep my mobile next to my pillow.”

“Take care, my love.”

As soon as Demelza rang off, he wasted no time texting Caroline for back up

“Poor thing! I’m in London for the week,” she replied. “I’ll let Hugh know. He should be back at the flat later tonight.”

Ross looked out the window at the grey February sky and tried to weigh all the facts in front of him. The weather forecast did call for snow but not until later that evening. It was not quite a three hour drive but if he left now, he could be in Bristol before dinnertime.

All he’d need to do is make one phone call and pack an overnight bag. Maybe he should pack for a few days--he had a meeting in Exeter on Thursday afternoon, so he could stay until then.

Nowhere in his thinking did he consciously acknowledge the spectre of Hugh Armitage or the need to get to Demelza before Hugh did.

---

Ross rang the bell to Demelza’s flat then stamped his feet on the pavement in a futile attempt to warm them. For the duration of the drive, the heat had blasted on his face but he couldn't get the vents properly adjusted to circulate to his lower extremities as well. It was frustrating enough to make him miss his old truck. Three hours was a long time to be sitting still in the cold and he wasn’t sure he had much feeling left, certainly his toes felt numb. Still he felt good about his overall timing--the first flakes of snow had only begun to fall just as he parked the car.

There was no answer but rather than feeling impatient, he felt guilty about rousing her if she was asleep. He knew her neighbour held a spare key and was considering ringing her flat when the intercom crackled to life.

“Yes?” A familiar voice croaked.

“Demelza, love, it's me.” Before he had a chance to say anything further--like explain why he’d come--she was already buzzing him in. Once he stepped inside, he could hear the locks opening on her flat door two floors up.

“Ross! Oh Ross!” she called down the stairs. He looked up to see she was in her pyjamas and had some sort of blanket wrapped around her.

“Stay there,” he said, relieved that she was happy to see him. Did he expect she might not be?

“In fact, go back inside,” he said and took the stairs two at a time.

When he finally met her at the door, she threw her arms around him. He felt her damp face as she buried it in his shoulder. He didn't need to put his hand of forehead to know she was burning up.

“Oh Ross,” she gasped. “I can't believe you came. You came for…”

“I came for you. But let’s get you back to bed.” He realised he was speaking to her as though she were some fragile creature.

I’m not a bird with a broken wing, he remembered her saying once.

“Don’t argue. To bed.” Ross dropped his bag at the door so he could put his arm under her to help her walk, ready to carry her if she so much as stumbled.

“I’m alright, I really am,” she tried to smile as she crawled into the dishevelled bed.

“Of course you are,” he said, and smoothed the sheets out next to her and tucked the duvet around her legs. “Sit up,” he said gently, and turned the pillows over to reveal the sides that were a bit more fresh.

“I can't believe you came all this way,” she muttered but he’d already left the room.

When he came back he had a glass of water and a blister pack of paracetamol he’d found in the bathroom.

“Have you taken any recently?” he asked.

“No, I know you told me to and I meant to but I was so sleepy so I just went straight to bed. I’m sorry, Ross…”

“Don't apologise to me, but you’ve a fever and we need to bring it down,” he said. “Okay, take two. And no matter how you may not feel up to it, you have to drink the water.”

“Ouch,” she whimpered as she tried to swallow.

“I know.” He patted her knee. “I’ll make some tea with honey in a moment and that will go down easier. How’s the…” he began just as the cough he was so worried about chose that very moment to rattle about in her lovely chest. She tried to turn away but her whole body shook. Ross wanted to pull her into his arms and crush her body to his and absorb her pain.

“Here, let me,”he said instead and put a cool wet flannel to her forehead. She shivered and he took her warm hand in his. She squeezed back and he saw the tears forming in her eyes.

“Ross,” she whispered. “Oh Ross.”

“Hey hey,” he smiled but felt his eyes were growing wet too. Demelza was usually so strong, so stubborn and to see her tonight so vulnerable, all her defences down? It pained him and touched him at the same time. He also wished he could bring her home. Well this flat was her home now but she’d rest easier back to Nampara.

“I’m here,” he kissed her temple and stroked her hair. “But don't talk now. We’ll catch up later.”

“You can stay with me?” she asked wide eyed.

“Of course--for a few days or until you’re better. Close your eyes.”

She did as she was told and after several deep breaths she fell asleep again. He switched off the light and went to work.

He had it in his mind to make tea and after searching all her cabinets he finally found a passable pot of only partially crystallised honey. Then he thought better of it and decided he should wait until she awakened to switch on the kettle. Instead he did the washing up that had been left in the sink and sourly hoped the dishes he was cleaning had been hers and not her flatmate’s.

Ross looked at his watch. She’d probably sleep for some time--maybe even the whole night. Sure tucking her into bed had brought her a moment’s comfort but no real relief. He’d have to do better if he was to be useful.

But first, he’d need the keys to her flat. He hoped he could find them without rummaging through her handbag.

---

“Ross?”

As soon as Ross had turned the key in the lock he heard Demelza’s hoarse whisper call out to him. He moved quickly inside the flat to find her bundled up on the sofa, sitting in the dark.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” he asked, trying to both assess her state and contain his panic. “Are you okay?”

“Don't be cross--I woke up and found you gone and then I felt lonely so I thought I’d watch some telly.”

“Looks like a good programme." He nodded towards the blank screen.

“Well there was nothin’ good on,” she said. “Where did you go, Ross? I was worried.”

“Sorry, my love.” He perched carefully next to her and gave her a reassuring kiss. Perhaps she felt less feverish than before? It was hard to tell so he kissed her again.

“I went in search of reinforcements,” he explained and showed her the bag from Boots. “I wasn't sure if lozenges or syrup was better for your cough so I bought both. Plus some tissue--have you been sneezing?”

“No, not even a runny nose,” she said proudly.

“Well that could change.”

“Would that please you? she smiled.

“Yes, immensely. And I got this,” he said, holding up the thermometer. “I’m afraid it’s the old-fashioned kind that goes in your…”

“Please say mouth,” she said. “I guess if I were a real grown up I’d have all that in my own medicine cabinet,” she sighed.

“But you do at least have your own medicine cabinet so that’s a start. Besides, Demelza, the only reason I’ve a thermometer at Nampara is because my father or Prudie or some other adult bought it years ago--certainly not me. And I think you’ve demonstrated your maturity in other ways.”

“Thank you Ross,“ she said. “Thank you for everythin’...Oh! Are you hungry? I forgot to even ask! I can make you some...”

“No, I’m fine. I stopped along the way,” he lied. “But what about you?”

“You know what they say ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’?”

“No, I’ve never heard that. But if you are worried about whether you are adult enough, quoting old wives is a good place to start.”

“It's probably not even true. But as far as conventional remedies go, I suppose it’s better than blood lettin’...”

“Or leeches,” he added, glad that she was feeling up to making jokes.

“Or laudanum. Is there any of that in your old medicine chest at Nampara?”

“Yes, but it’s only to be used for dropsy.”

“You just made that word up.”

“No, it's an old medical term like grippe or ague.”

“Well I do feel like I have a brain fever,” she said.

“I hope not, Miss Dostoevsky. But it might be quinsy,” he laughed. “Here put this under your tongue.”

“Whazzle muh tah?” she muttered.

“That’s a good language, but I’ll learn it some other time.”

“I was only remindin’ you that you’d promised you’d make tea,” she said, taking the thermometer out of her mouth to speak.

“And I will in due course. Have you finished chattering for a moment?”

“Yes. I have now.”

“Restrain any further thoughts that come to your mind. We’ll have to start this all over again,” he said, looking at his watch to record the time the thermometer went back in.

She opened her mouth again then laughed as he playfully put his fingers to her lips.

“Uh uh uh,” he chided.

This time she opened her mouth and closed her teeth on one of his fingers, but not hard.

“I see the fever has made you vicious. Perhaps you have the horrors,” he said, having recovered his finger. “Anyway, now that you mention it, if your aim is to become one of those old wives, I do see a resemblance.”

“Would you like to put your finger in again?” she asked quickly, then closed her mouth again around the thermometer.

He chuckled and put his hand on her knee.

“I’ll go make that tea but then you’re off to bed. No excuses.”

----

Her fever was no longer raging but still very present--38 degrees--and now that he had numerical data on his side, it was harder for her to argue. She drank her tea, chose the cough syrup over the lozenges which had the added advantage of providing her with a sleep aid, then she crawled back into her bed.

“Where will you sleep?” she asked just as he was about to switch off the light again.

“I’ll take the sofa,” he said casually.

“Oh yes, I do see that you'd probably want to stay clear of me and my contagion. Plus I probably stink…”

“You don’t. Somehow you manage to look--and smell--lovely as ever, even when unwell. No, I just thought you’d sleep easier if you were alone and not worrying about keeping me awake,” he explained.

“Maybe, or maybe I’d sleep easier if I knew you were next to me?” she said then let out a violent cough that shook the whole bed. Her crestfallen face told him she now saw his point. “You can take Caroline’s bed. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“No, the sofa is closer to you,” he replied.

“You win,” she sighed. “There’s an extra pillow and blanket in the cupboard in the hallway.”

“I’ll check on you in an hour,” he reassured her. “Good night, my love.”

“I love you, Ross,” she murmured, then turned into her own pillow.

----

Ross didn’t want to admit--to Demelza or to himself--the real reason he turned down sleeping in Caroline’s bed. The thought of being so intimately close to Caroline’s private things had somehow felt a bit intimidating to him. But now as he stretched out of the sofa--or tried to--he saw he might have made a mistake. This one was wider than his sofa at home and was very soft. In fact he sank rather deeply into the cushions. But it was just too damn short for his height. He pulled in his knees imagining he’d be rather stiff in the morning. But it wasn’t the less-than-ideal sleeping position that kept him up. Ross was listening as closely as he could to every sound--every grunt and every breath--that drifted out of Demelza’s open bedroom door.

He must have eventually fallen asleep and woke with a start when the living room light switched on suddenly.

.“Ross? Mate? What brings you here?” Hugh laughed as he put dropped his keys on the table by the wall.

#poldark #poldark fanfic #lucretiassister #demelza carne #poldark modern au #likesomeone sequels #ask nervousladytraveler

14 notes · View notes

summerinthecloudsx · 2 years

Text

The Death Omen; Rindou Haitani x Fem!Reader

This takes place in the timeskip when all characters are over 21. I’m changing the plot as needed for the MC of this story for a better flow. It’s a crossover with Tokyo Ghoul, but the only thing existing from that series is the existence of ghouls.

Warning: Minors DNI. This series will contain gore, graphic violence, and rough language. There will be eventual smut and possible toxic relationships. Read at your own risk. This is a work of fiction for entertainment only!

Chapter 1

There are many uncertainties in life, but one thing you’re absolutely sure of is that you’re not afraid of Kisaki Tetta. You hear it almost every day, or night rather as that’s your preferred time to hunt. You listen to frantic whispers, paranoid murmurs of the cruel gang leader, though you’ve also heard some people refer to him as a general. It's humorous, really. A general of delinquents? They’re nothing but an army of thugs caught too deep in the web of their master, writhing like insects as Kisaki devours them. It’s pathetic, and the great general is nothing but a coward pretending to be king.

They wouldn’t know true fear if they came face to face with it. If they happened upon your hunting grounds in the dark hours of the night, - when all others who haven chosen more respectable paths are safe in their warm beds - they’d probably piss themselves the minute you revealed your kagune. Not that the sight would be anything except hilarious for you. To them, you’re a myth, a legend spoken of as warnings to stay away from dark alleys or sewers. They probably gather around their bikes after they’ve had too much to drink and dare their fellow delinquents to seek out your type. The idiots no doubt haven’t even connected the dots revealing how many of their friends have been killed at the hands of your kind.

You can’t claim to feel remorse, exactly. You’ve come to terms with what you have to do in order to stay alive, but it doesn’t make killing people any easier. When you had to survive on people who had been murdered or those who ended their lives, you always felt guilty. They were innocent, and you had defiled them after their death. It felt wrong. But now? Now that you’ve switched to becoming a huntress, killing only those who have killed others? The high you get from ripping apart some hyper masculine delinquent is…incomparable. It frightens you sometimes.

Such magnificent timing, you sigh as you witness a drunken gang member swaying into your alley. Your position atop a light pole gives you the perfect view of your prey, and your kagune lets you snatch them away before they have a chance to defend themselves. You’d worry about being spotted if not for your cunning persistence in keeping your area so dark. The light of your perch has long since malfunctioned, thanks to you. The city workers have attempted to fix it numerous times, though you always break it or disrupt the current when you get to your hunting area. They must have grown tired of the constant work, because for the past few days the light has remained broken. It’s perfect, really, especially on nights like this one.

The unsuspecting man stumbles into the dim alley, his shoulder raking against the brick wall as he searches for a place to rest. You tilt your head to the side in curious speculation as he takes out his phone. He must want to turn on his flashlight, but he curses loudly when he unlocks his phone. With your heightened eyesight, you can see the flashing battery at the forefront of his screen. How convenient for you, although it seems destiny is working against the poor soul. He just happens to forget to charge his phone, stumble around to find a place to sober up, and he lands in one of the most dangerous places in this god forsaken city. Of course, there’s no telling how many lives he’s taken. He’s wearing the colors and symbols you’ve come to associate Kisaki with. The drunken gang member probably has a kill list long enough to rival yours if he’s associated with one of the Tokyo Manji leaders. You’ve heard stories of Kisaki’s ruthlessness. This man probably deserves whatever death you grant him, now that you think about it. One less soldier of Kisaki Tetta isn’t something to feel guilty about.

I’ll make it quick, you tell yourself as you release your kagune and secure your mask. Four flexible, scaled tentacle-like appendages spring from your lower back. You see no reason to release all six pieces of your rinkaku to dispose of this filth. He’s so drunk you could probably get away with just one, but where's the fun in that? You want to see his horrified face when he catches sight of your kagune.

“Having a bit of trouble?” You call out after you’ve gracefully fallen to the ground of the alleyway. The stone is damp as your sneakers travel across it, your head tilted in feigned innocence. Your nose crinkles the closer you get to the man, repulsed by his scent. It’s something similar to molded bread soaked in buttermilk; not exactly the supple, fatty meal you were hoping for. But food is food, and you’ve already revealed yourself to him. You’ll have to kill him now.

“Huh?” He asks, eyes narrowed as they attempt to take in your figure. His hair is almost entirely black save for the brassy roots he styled himself. It’s not ugly, but it certainly doesn’t fit him. He looks out of place, a thin figure swallowed by the gang uniform. He doesn’t look childish or innocent by any means, though. He has a swirling tattoo wrapped around his right eye that must resemble thorny vines of some sort, and he smells like a mixture of puke and blood. Maybe that’s what you’ve been inhaling instead of his natural aroma.

“Woah lady,” he slurs. “There’s like thre-four of you or somethin’.” He slams a skeletal hand against his forehead and belches loudly. “You got red shit all over your face too. Damn, I had too much to drink,” he laughs in a high pitched manner.

“Five,” you state with a sinister grin. You stand in front of him now, though he’s fallen to his backside on the damp ground. His arms rest loosely at his sides. He won’t be able to fight back even if he wants to. His body has completely succumbed to the excess alcohol in his system. “And the ‘red shit’ is attached to my mask. Rubies and black lace if you’re that curious.”

“Huh?” He repeats in the same stupefied tone. His mouth is agape, head tilted to gaze up at your horrifyingly powerful form. He’s not running or screaming. He doesn’t even seem surprised. It makes your eye twitch. He’s so drunk he isn’t even fun to toy with. Still, it won't stop you from trying.

“Well, technically there’s only one of me,” you clarify as you squat so you’re at eye level with him. You point a finger at your chest to give him something to focus on. When his gaze seems to follow your finger, you slowly point to each portion of your rinkaku. “But these four other parts are attached to me so, I guess you could say there’s five of me right now.” You smirk at his horrified expression. He’s finally noticed, then.

“No way, I-.” He twists as if he means to run. His fingers twitch at his sides, probably itching to push you away. All he manages to do is lift his arm enough to roll over, maneuvering himself onto all fours.

Pathetic, you sneer. Crawling off like some injured or abused dog too afraid to meet the eyes of its master. Well, you think as you stalk after him without haste. At least he has enough sense to know the position he’s in.

“What’s wrong?” You call out, a teasing clip to your voice. The sound of your footsteps against the stone is all but forgotten as your senses latch onto the man’s ragged breathing. More than once, his hands slip out from underneath him thanks to the slick earth, and his face smacks against the hard ground with a low grunt. He never stays down long, though. You have to admire his persistence, his desire to somehow live despite the knowledge of your kind. He must know death is inevitable, but he doesn’t seem to be willing to go down easily.

“What would your pals think if they saw you running from a girl?” You laugh out the last word with a bitterness that shocks even you. It isn’t lost on you how his kind views women. They’re toys, dolls. They’re things to be collected and played with or in the best case scenario, protected. Hardly any of them would be afraid of you if you weren’t some demon from their nightmares. And you shivered to think what might have happened if this drunken bastard had happened upon a soft spoken human girl in the alley. You’re kind, soft enough to average people during the day. When the sun succumbs to the night sky is the only time you let this portion of yourself appear, and you admit it feels empowering. You’ve seen the way some gang members treat women when they can overpower them. You’ve heard the screams, witnessed the carnage. And although many gangs stick to the morality of leaving innocent civilians alone, not all of them behave so mannerly.

“You’re not a girl. You’re a monster!” The way he says it sounds so childish, so afraid it makes you laugh. Your entertainment only grows when he realizes he’s crawled into a corner. “Listen. You don’t wanna mess with me. My boss–.”

Before he finishes, your rinkaku wraps around the man’s midsection and tosses him against the side of a metal dumpster. The green paint is chipped from years of use and decay, and a nice human sized dent has been added thanks to your perfectly aimed toss. It’ll make a nice memory unless the city workers decide to replace it. You highly doubt they will.

“My boss is Kisaki Tetta. He’ll kill you without a second thought. No one defies him. Blah, blah, blah,” you mock him with a dismissive flick of your hand. “Spare me. I’m sick of hearing about the Lord of losers.”

The man slams against the brick wall with another flash of your rinkaku, groaning loudly amidst the sound of his bones breaking. If he hasn’t already sobered up, then he’s definitely falling back to reality now.

He coughs as he lies on his back, face upturned to gaze at the starless sky. He’s probably choking on his own blood and praying to whatever deity he can remember at the moment. His chest vibrates as he tries desperately to inhale, though he only gags and sputters until crimson sprays from his lips and onto his face. He doesn’t smell as bad this way, blood tainted with the scent of fear. Still, there’s a separate blood type coating his jacket that you just can’t place.

“Hey. Answer a question for me?” You sit next to him, legs stretched out in front of you. He coughs, harsh wet sounds greeting your ears. You barely even blink. “Whose blood is that? It doesn’t smell like yours. So, did you kill someone?”

He doesn’t answer, though his gaze meets yours with a wild look. It’s the same expression you expect from a child who's been caught eating sweets before dinner. Shocked, nervous, but somehow a playfulness remains. You let out a low growl at the sight.

“Did their life mean so little to you? How can you kill someone so easily and then get drunk like it never happened?” You twist your fingers around your oversized hoodie, squeezing to alleviate your tension. When it doesn’t work, you harden your rinkaku and stab it into the man’s abdomen. He groans, gurgling as blood pools in his mouth even faster. It’s different, you remind yourself. You kill for food or in defense. He killed people because he’s a coward who can’t stand up to his boss. Pathetic. They chose the life of a gang member. You didn’t choose to be a ghoul.

Whatever. It didn’t matter anymore. “Hey,” you start, though you know the man is slipping into an unconscious state. “Why are all of you so afraid of Kisaki, anyway? He’s just a human. I mean, he can’t control all of you, right?” You stop when you realize the ragged breathing has ceased. A quick glance at your side reveals the man’s wide open, lifeless eyes. His gaze seemed fixed on your kagune even in death. “Oh. You died before you could answer. What a shame,” you sigh.

It didn’t matter. His death was vengeance enough for whatever deed he committed. At least you could rest well knowing he wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

“Time to eat,” you huff, letting the sounds of the city drown out the noise of breaking bones and ripping flesh. Maybe one day you’ll figure out why everyone fears Kisaki. Perhaps the leader himself will stumble upon your hunting grounds, and wouldn’t that be a fight worth having?

#tokyo rev x you #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers rindou #rindou haitani #rindou x you #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo ghoul #female reader #eventual smut #reader insert #haitani brothers #Angst #enemies to lovers

43 notes · View notes

oh-three · 2 years

Note

Here I go again

1, 2, 4, 5, 10, 14, 16 with all the depressed horses

I may have just laughed out loud at you calling them the Depressed Horses. The incorrect quote generator is never living that one down. But, here we go, request granted.

Does your oc have any secrets? What's their biggest one?

In all honesty, I haven't really gotten this far with most of them. The only secret among them at this point is Rak's turning to the Dark Side, which he keeps hidden to the best of his ability until Order 66 comes.

Does your oc have any embarrassing memories?

Rak- every time he's outright taunted someone and paid for it.

Brak- the moments where he stutters the worst and needs someone else to step in for him.

Vori- failed pranks on Rak.

Tindri- failed getaways after riling one of the others so much that they chase her. Like, tripping in her attempt to escape.

Linaleh- a lot of the moments where her overprotectiveness gets out of hand and the others end up staring at her.

Loktof- he's almost definitely embarrassed by any tiny moment of weakness. And definitely his angry outbursts, though he'll never confess to that.

Jurr- he probably has some, but no one will ever know, as he takes everything in stride.

Are there any secrets your oc has shared with other characters? If so, who, and what secrets?

Not willingly, but yes. Rak's no Palpatine.

How good is your oc at keeping secrets?

Rak- he's good at it, but not as good as he thinks. Somehow, someone always finds out something he doesn't want them to know.

Brak- surprisingly pretty good, though he'll give up a secret if he's pushed too hard.

Vori- absolutely horrible. She'll probably laugh about a secret randomly and then be forced to give it up when the others wonder why she's laughing for no apparent reason.

Tindri- really good at it. She'll make up a lie to cover a secret, one so good that everyone else will believe it.

Linaleh- also not too horrible, but will give up secrets if it means bettering another member's emotional or physical health.

Loktof- no one can even tell when he has a secret or not.

Jurr- about the same as Lok, though sometimes his hesitance will give away that he's hiding something- either way, whether it's known he has a secret or not, he won't tell it to anyone.

Is there anything your oc wants or likes that they have to keep secret, like a guilty pleasure? Anything that would get them ostracized, attacked, or just insulted for saying it out loud?

Nope, though if anyone ever joked about the war in a way that put it in a good way, the others would be onto them like a pack of wolves. These guys are not fond of the war and what it's doing to the Order, particularly the padawans being trained during it.

Has your oc ever done anything illegal or immoral?

I may or may not have a fic outlined where Tindri sneaks into the security archives and steals some footage to use against Rak.

Also, Rak's actions during Order 66. Definitely illegal. And immoral.

Could your oc be effectively blackmailed with any of their secrets?

I feel like they all could be, with exceptions to Brak, Jurr, and Loktof. No one would dare to try to blackmail Brak unless they want the wrath of Linaleh thrust upon them. As for Jurr, they all respect him too much. And again, no one even knows when Lok has secrets.

#sorry this wasn't more thorough #i really haven't thought secrets and such out with these guys #but thanks for the ask!

3 notes · View notes

subconsciousmysteries · 5 months

Text

my experience and opinions on Caretaker Parentification

Caretaker Parentification is when older siblings are expected to take care of younger siblings, or when abled siblings are expected to take care of disabled siblings. Imo, Caretaker Parentification should be considered a form of both child neglect and child abuse. What bothers me the most about it is the lack of consent in it for the parentified child. Followed shortly by the fact that the parent is leaving the parented kid in the hands of an unqualified, often severely underage caretaker.

My younger sister and I are victims of both types of parentification -- we were expected to take care of our much younger, severely autistic brother. My younger sister complied and became a golden child, clearly harboring a lot of resentment to this day that she hasnt dealt with and blames me for instead of our mother. I mostly refused and I got abused and slandered by my mother as being "selfish" and "bad" for refusing to "help" with something that was never my responsibility. Especially because I was the oldest, it was expected that I act like it by... letting her neglect her child and taking on a responsibility I wasn't equipped for.

Neither me or my sister consented to our parents having another child. They are 100% responsible for him. Even if we were adults when they had him we wouldn't have been responsible for caretaking him. But the fact that parents think it's acceptable to parentify LITERAL CHILDREN who didn't consent to the existence of their siblings, makes the whole parentification thing 10000x fucked up. Caretaker Parentification is one of many cultural norms that is just accepted as a normal thing in our society. Few people question it except for those who have experienced the injustice of it or known people who experienced the injustice of it.

I love my brother and sister and I don't harbor any resentment towards them for how my monster of a mother treated us. I still feel very guilty for not being a better mother to my brother which is extremely fucked up because it was never my responsibility to take care of him and I'm not his mother.

My mother also actively sabotaged my dad's attempts to participate in the parenting because she "didn't trust him". Everything he tried to do with my brother was apparently wrong and led to her having a classic anger issue ragefest at him about how incompetent and stupid and uncaring he supposedly is. This led my dad to give up on trying to parent the boy and focus purely on work. Then she complained that she was too overburdened with parenting, that he never helped, that he was lazy, and she used this whinging to guilt-trip me and my sister into stepping in and parenting my brother in dad's place.

For this reason, on top of other stories I've heard, I absolutely do not buy the feminist bullcrap that it's all men's fault that daughters are parentified and women are forced into a caretaker role. I witnessed a woman actively stop a father from taking care of his own son so that she could parentify her adolescent daughters in his place. And I hear stories everywhere about how women parentify their daughters far more than their sons, and about how women become sanctimoniously abusive towards their husbands in their OCD... always screaming at him that he can't do anything right so he gives up trying and withdraws from the family responsibilities whilst she plays victim and whines that she has to do everything because he is so incompetent. And girls if you love your mother you'll take my side and help me do what I scared him away from doing. What I experienced probably isn't uncommon.

Dare I say that this is not so much misogyny as it is an instance of "misandry backfiring on women" and "misandry hurts women too". It's the same thing that causes men to draft boys into the military and force each other to do hard labor while letting the women and girls chill at home. Men hurt men and expect more of men because they think women are too incompetent to have their "manly" responsibilities. Men abuse women out of "manly" fields and then complain that women "don't contribute to society". Well, vise versa is true as well and I have first-hand lived experience of it. Many women think that men's way of doing traditionally "womanly" things is always inferior to women's way of doing them, and they abuse men out of doing "womanly" things like parenting only to complain that men don't contribute. This only leads to women and ESPECIALLY girls being forced to shoulder extra responsibility, for things that men should be doing... and they're forced to shoulder this responsibility by older women. Mothers like mine seem to believe that men are incompetent and untrustworthy at parenting, because they're not as obsessive-compulsive and coddling of the child as the average woman is. Simply not true that you need to be a neurotic helicoptering b1atch to be a good parent but many women don't understand this, just like many men don't understand that the public sphere shouldn't be pure competition and dick-measuring.

1 note · View note

thezolblade · 1 year

Note

Question! So, what will the extent of the abuse be when it isn't sexual in nature? It's been established that Jon here, at least in his worst forms, seems like he'll be pretty controlling and possessive (along with the fact that his base form of communication with Martin appears to be emotional abuse -_-) how bad will that get? Does he ever get physically abusive when he isn't 'in the bedroom' or attempting to initiate a sexual interaction? If so then to what extent?

I'm super excited to see this become a series and think the things you've posted about it seem super interesting! I have a bunch of other questions, but I don't want to send them all at once since that *might* be a tad much haha.

Hm, sometimes in a nonsexual argument Jon might shove or slap him again if he's already done that a few times before, but only if the emotional dynamic is similar enough that he feels like he can still get away with it. If Martin's in an indignant mood, he wouldn't dare escalate that to a physical fight. (Like, he'd never be scared of Martin getting violent unprovoked, but... he would notice if he genuinely seemed like he wasn't going to take any more shit, as Martin's fighty moods aren't subtle, and then it'd be a matter of trying to talk about misunderstanding and compromise for a good long time. But he'd probably pick up on the early signals if a verbal argument was heading in that direction instead of submission.)

Jon would only (successfully) pick a fight with other people in front of Martin if he could rely on his compulsion to freeze people in place while talking/listening, and at a certain point he'd make it clear to Martin that leaving with him was the easiest route to ending the violence. And then if he had to derail a bad reaction from Martin with any urgency, he could compel him with a question about his guiltiest memory, or about what it would take to get him to give up and leave, etc. If he really wanted to kill someone, or feed on them for his own sake, he'd try to avoid doing that in front of Martin, knowing he'd hold it against him.

(Unsuccessfully... he may try picking up a conventional weapon and threatening people other than Martin, but that would not go well for him.)

Jon will sometimes manage better than his absolute worst, but if he keeps up good habits consistently, that'll lead to a better end. If he's inconsistent... well, reading about abuse, it's pretty common for relationships to have good patches that keep people invested, making them think it's worth sticking around to deal with the problems, even if those issues keep recurring, so some bits of the story will reflect that. Jon only got as far he did in the first part thanks to having shown Martin enough kindness to position himself as a lifeline in a crisis, and he'll have to keep working to maintain that, in the stretches before they land on a good end or bad end.

As for how broad the extent of the abuse is, uh, as well as the stuff above, even when Jon's not outright trying to be hurtful, he'll be very prone to invasions of privacy. (If Martin moves his stuff into Jon's apartment, then he'll rifle through pretty much any of it, whether not it occurs to him that he should have asked first.)

Something that might show up, if it ends up fitting with the flow of at least one route, is the type of damage to property that could be framed as more petty than it really is. E.g., if Jon gets angry and they've talked enough that he doesn't think it'll be read as a more direct threat, he might smash a glass and storm off. At which point Martin might be exasperated enough to just... not deal with that. And then Jon might feel guilty enough to clear it up later.

I'm glad there's food for thought! Working on this, I kinda hope the lighter routes don't feel too tame compared to the heavy ones, or the bad ends too bleak compared to the parts where things stay complicated... but however it turns out, it feels like being able to explore all outcomes is the most freeing approach.

#heart of the disaster #tma thoughts #rozzlynn's fanfic

1 note · View note

versadies · 2 years

Note

I loved that househusband AU soooooo much! Made me wish it was reality 😭. But no, tis not my reality.

You said you were open to ideas for this AU? Well what if you did an edition with remote working? S/o now is at home and the guys get so see what s/o does throughout the day (see’s s/o as a BOSS)

Oooh what about someone bashing the couple for their “untraditional” lifestyle?

you dare overstep your mortal authority ?!

sypnosis: how they’re like when someone attempts to bash the two of you because of your lifestyle. ( i dont condone to bashing and any forms of harassment. )

characters: zhongli, diluc, itto, xiao, kaeya, thoma, childe, and scaramouche

content: mafia!au, mentions of harassment (bashing), mild swearing, violence, threats, hint of torture, insults

post-script: don’t we all wish it was a reality 😔💔 how does it feel to live our dreams y/n 🎤🎤🎤🎤 on the other hand, im planning on making a separate post about the remote working s/o (bcuz theres sm to say about this) sooo stay tuned for that 😈 for now tho, lemme share the goody details on the last part hehe

the way of the househusband au masterlist

INTIMIDATES BASHERS - zhongli, diluc, itto, and xiao

ZHONGLI’s rolled up sleeves that shows his battle scars are enough for people who attempt to bash the two of you to not do anything at all, giving the ex-yakuza all the more reasons to be proud of his scars and not be ashamed to show them. though, you gotta admit, you’re surprised that it intimidated people despite the apron he always wears.

when you do encounter a basher that actually has the nerve to bash, zhongli first lets his scars intimidate the person and try to reason with them, keeping you beside him protectively in hopes of the basher not trying to harm you.

if the basher is stubborn and tries to harm the both of you regardless of your lover’s attempts, this is when rex lapis comes out in the light instead of zhongli.

you could only watch as your husband grips the basher’s shoulder in a tight manner, his eyes narrowing as the atmosphere grew tense.

“how would you feel about living in prison for a while?”

DILUC’s aloof attitude alongside his muscular form often intimidated people around him and he definitely isn’t complaining — especially since it backs off those who could attempt to hurt you because of your lifestyle with him, so the chance of getting bashed was only a 1% possibility.

however, the possibility is never a zero.

your harasser didn’t even know that your husband is the intimidating bartender that cleans glasses 24/7 because he only overheard you gushing to your friend about your lovely househusband in the bar where he drinks, so things didn’t go well with the person when your husband caught him sputtering insults and nearly punched you when you insulted him back.

customers and your friend could only watch as some asshole who didn’t know anything better get scared by diluc’s haunting glare and cowardly backed off when the red-haired man calmly ordered him to get out, causing your harasser muttering out insincere comments before taking his leave.

despite the situation being dealt with, we all know diluc would feel guilty if you ever get hurt because of him being a househusband :((

nevertheless though, his guilt that sometimes creeps in him disappears when he sees you giving such a blessing smile, telling him how you’re grateful to have a wonderful househusband like him and how you love him so much despite his past :))

ITTO honestly didn’t intend to intimidate people with his stature and muscular scar-covered body and he’s incredibly oblivious from that fact. however, you are really thankful that his intimidated appearance is enough to make bashers back off - especially since your neighbors warned you and itto about bashers that lurks around the small town.

if there was someone who somehow had the metal balls to bash you not knowing that your househusband is a literal beefy muscular man who can probably crush someone’s head with his bare hands who’s standing nearby, he’ll immediately tackle him down and make you call the police for an attempted harassment.

although your husband isn’t as… violent as most househusbands in this post, he’s the only one who does the most rational thing and call the cops, simply because he’s a literally nice guy that just follows the law now.

XIAO’s eyes are something that catches people’s attention, only for them to immediately feel scared of him because of his rest-bitch face. if looks could kill, xiao would’ve already killed millions, that’s what people will think to themselves whenever they walk pass the ex yakuza.

unfortunately, this doesn’t go the same for certain people because of xiao’s height, especially that one basher that spat out insults after insults because of your lifestyle with xiao — that is, until your husband takes one good look at the basher with a scary glare with intent to kill — and that was enough for the person to shut his mouth up and stare in fear.

you gotta admit, it was pretty hot. but scary as well. but mostly hot.

THREATENS BASHERS - kaeya and thoma

KAEYA will instantly take a hold on the person from going after you, staring at them with a cold gaze that replaced the loving look he gives to you and only you.

he may have promised that he wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore to you, but it doesn’t mean he promised that he’ll not do it verbally. all it took was for your husband to lean in on your assaulter’s ear and whisper a few words that made him shiver in fear and try to get away from kaeya.

when you asked kaeya what he said to the basher, his expression instantly comes back into a loving one, cupping your cheek with his one hand as he tells you it’s nothing for you to worry about.

THOMA will immediately put himself between you and your basher before stopping them from their attempted harassment. it was definitely strange to see your husband taking the situation so light heartedly as he treats your harasser like they’re old friends — but then the blonde haired man whispers something that made the basher look at him in confusion, giving you and thoma a chance to walk away from the incident with no injuries and worries.

so imagine your surprise when you saw your basher standing at your front door the day after the incident, muttering so much apologies as he kneels on the ground and begs for forgiveness to you. just what did thoma do to scare this poor guy?!

FIGHTS BASHERS BACK - childe, scaramouche

CHILDE will not take the basher slightly — especially if they were aiming to attack you first under his watch. seriously, were they asking for a death wish when they tried to hurt an ex-yakuza’s spouse right in front of him? childe amuses to himself, watching as the basher cowardly steps away when he sees childe bringing out a gun.

oh, you don’t have to worry about witnessing the poor bastard’s death by your husband - the gun is simply a prop that can scare off people like your assaulter, so no need to try and stop him, just watch the show and see if the man learned his lesson <<3 you wanted to ask why on earth your husband has a gun prop, but you honestly don’t wanna find out.

what’s not a prop are the two blades that childe brings out when he stands in front of the basher’s home, smiling menacingly as he goes closer and closer to the front door.

despite failing in being intimidating to others outdoors and not in his old organization anymore, SCARAMOUCHE makes it up through his violent verbal assault. he’s probably the only househusband that made you encounter a few bashers who aren’t scared of scaramouche’s appearance.

however, your lover is one of the only househusbands who won’t hesitate to go violent (verbally and physically) against someone who’d have the audacity to assault you. it didn’t matter if the incident occur in public, his major priority is you and your safety, so he’d be damned if he’d let this bastard’s disgusting behavior slide just because he has an audience.

so when a certain basher took things way too far, it simply end up with the basher feeling like an embarrassment to this world and a traumatized memory of scaramouche’s colorful words.

2K notes · View notes

dilfdoctordoom · 3 years

Text

On Tom Taylor, the Current Nightwing Run & Ableism

I did mention I was gonna do a post about it, so here we are. There are some things I want to make clear before we begin: the issue exploded on Twitter on the very first day of disabled Pride month; disabled people have been discussing the ableism in Taylor’s Nightwing run since it began; nobody has blamed Taylor for what happened to Barbara in 2011. We are, however, blaming him for the way she is written in his series during 2021.

I am also going to be discussing the ableism in the fandom in this post. The reactions I have seen, from here to Twitter to TikTok, are showing not only a great misunderstanding of the situation, but a purposeful misunderstanding. The very real reasons disabled people are angry right now have been twisted to make us seem ridiculous and overly sensitive and I cannot help but feel that is very intentional.

Another quick addition: disabled people are not a monolith. Barbara Gordon spent over 20 years as a paralyzed wheelchair user. Stating (and I would like to note, never truly showing) that she is a part time cane user now is still erasing her disability. These things are not interchangeable.

So, with that out of the way, let’s begin.

Tom Taylor’s run is ableist. That is a fact of this situation. He made the active choice to include a version of Barbara Gordon that is ableist caricature. Story wise, the role that Barbara plays could have easily been filled by anyone else. There is no real season, within the narrative and outside of it, for Taylor to include this version of Barbara Gordon, who has received a decade of criticism from disabled people. It’s very well known that this iteration is problematic, to put it kindly, and Taylor is aware of that.

He made the active decision to include her, anyway, showing, at the very least, that he is passively, if not actively, ableist. Passive ableism is still ableism and disabled people are allowed to take issue with that.

That alone is reason enough for disabled people to be angry. But that’s not why things exploded on Twitter.

On July 1st, the very first day of disabled pride month, the new design for Barbara was dropped. After months of teasing Barbara’s return to a wheelchair using Oracle (see: Last Days of The DC Universe, Batgirl (2016), etc), they debuted... a new Batgirl costume that the artist has openly said draws inspiration from the Burnside suit.

There’s a lot of issues to unpack here, so let’s start small: the issue with consciously calling back to Burnside. The Burnside era of Batgirl stories was... beyond awful. The villain of the series’ first arc, was an AI based on Barbara’s brain patterns when she was disabled. It was evil because of all the rage and pain Barbara felt. The actual Barbara, on the other hand, was good -- because she was able bodied. Because her PTSD had been tossed aside. It was a horrifically ableist era that drove the idea that Barbara’s life was terrible when she was disabled; that it was some horrible, twisted secret.

Comics have kept that narrative going. Barbara is seen hiding books on chronic pain; she reacts aggressively to the mere idea that she could be in a wheelchair again, acting like it would be weakness. Whereas Barbara had once been Oracle not because of, but in spite of, her disability, who was fantastic representation for the disabled community, she now acts like it is the most shameful thing in her life.

To call back to Burnside is to call back to that ableism and make no critique of it. If anything, it’s to embrace the ideas of that era.

There is also the design itself to consider. Many people have pointed out the inclusion of a back brace, as if that saves it from ableism -- it does not. Any person who has ever worn a back brace can take one look at this design and know that they did not consult a disabled person. Hell, by how impractical that thing is, I doubt they even Googled a picture of a back brace.

It’s a superficial acknowledgement that Barbara is supposed to be disabled. Something that was apparently thrown in to appease the numerous complaints of Barbara being able bodied; something that no one working on it put any effort into.

When it comes to aids, this is not a new thing for Barbara in Infinite Frontier. She’s said to be using a cane occasionally, that we got a better look at in Batman: Urban Legends, and as any cane user can tell you... that is not a cane that could feasibly be used. It’s another pathetic attempt to acknowledge that Barbara is supposed to be disabled, without actually doing anything of importance.

[IMAGE ID: A segmented cane with a tri-pointed handle with a wrist strap. There is a stripe across the sections to connection them, labelled “solar battery charger buttons”. The text reads: “telescoping antenna doubles as cane or weapon if needed”. END ID]

Dropping this design (which we have now established to be problematic) on the very first day of disabled pride month is a sickening move. The very first day, and DC has doubled down on their disability erasure, thrown in superficial things like a back brace to act like it’s fine.

Tom Taylor is definitely involved in this, whether you like it not. No, he is not in anyway responsible for the events of the New 52 and what they did to Barbara Gordon, but that does not absolve him of blame for what is currently being done to her in his run.

When the design dropped, it started trending due to disabled fans reactions. To be clear: we were directly calling out the ableism in this design. This was Tom Taylor’s response:

[IMAGE ID: A tweet from TomTaylorMade that says: “Hey, @Bruna_Redono_F I think our new Batgirl suit is getting some attention.” He then adds a winky face emoji and tags @jesswchen and @drinkpinkkink. Attached are a screenshot showing that Batgirl is trending in the United States and a picture of the design itself. END ID]

This is him, bragging about how the disabled community reacted. Perhaps before this tweet, you could’ve made an argument that he was not ableist, but after he flaunted the fact that disabled people were rightly furious over this, like it was something to be proud of? No. If you are defending him, you are a part of the problem.

Taylor has included ableist writing in his Nightwing run, beyond the inherent ableism that comes with the current iteration of Barbara Gordon (whose inclusion, yet again, is his decision).

[IMAGE ID: A panel from Nightwing #79. Barbara and Dick are standing in his apartment. Barbara is saying: “I have some pretty new technology holding my spine together. I’m happy to do most things -- eat pizza in the park, take down low-level thugs -- but leaping from rooftops seems... unwise.” END ID]

What Barbara says in the panel above has bothered a lot of disabled people. The implication that she couldn’t “eat pizza in the park’ and “take down low-level thugs” without a spinal implant that conveniently erases her disability is... fucked up, to put it mildly. Those are both things that Barbara has done in a wheelchair. The first one is something wheelchair users can do and the implication that it’s not is beyond offensive.

But, let’s leave Barbara behind for a moment. I have previously mentioned that disabled people have been discussing the ableism present in this run long before July -- and that ableism is not only centred on Barbara. Dick is also a player in all this.

Dick Grayson was shot in the head. I don’t believe I need to retread the story, but just in case: Dick was shot in the head by KGBeast, developed amnesia from the event, and went by Ric Grayson for a long enough period in comics. If you have been active within the DC fandom for the past year or so, you know all about this controversial storyline and its fallout.

The Ric Grayson arc concluded itself the issue before Taylor became the writer for the series and ever since his tenure has begun, Taylor has completely ignored the reality of Dick being a disabled man. We understand this is comics, that things do not function the way they do in our world, but still -- it is clear that this gunshot wound to the head has affected Dick massively. We had an entire arc dedicated to how he struggled to find himself in the aftermath.

Taylor is choosing to write Dick as an able-bodied man, despite his canonical injuries and how they would impact his life.

This man is choosing to give empty gestures towards Barbara being a disabled woman (as discussed above, the completely dysfunctional back brace, etc) whilst writing her as able-bodied as possible. He writes both Dick and Barbara as able bodied as humanly possible. That is ableist. He is ableist. This is the same man that said he made a dog disabled ‘in honour of Barbara’. I do not think I need to elaborate on why that is bad.

The least he could’ve done, was get a sensitivity reader. We know that Taylor is not beyond getting people from marginalized communities to consult on his work (see: Suicide Squad), so why, when writing two characters that should be disabled, one that the disabled community have been criticising for a decade, does he not reach out to a single disabled person? A mere Google search could’ve improved the situation massively. In both the new design and the current writing, it is beyond clear that this is not just an able-bodied person writing it -- it’s an ableist person.

He could have listened to the numerous disabled fans that spoke out. Instead, he chose not only to refuse to do that, but to describe justifiable anger as ‘raging’. He treated us like we were crazy for daring to speak out about blatant ableism being parading around of us in our pride month.

Tom Taylor has failed to do the bare minimum and in doing so, he is, at very, very least, guilty of complicity. Again: passive ableism is still ableism.

The argument at hand is not just about Barbara Gordon and the continuing ableism that shines out from her current writing. The argument is about the treatment of disabled characters in his run. It has also become about the way he treats physically disabled people.

We also can’t have this conversation without acknowledging the fandom’s role in it all. I waited a day to write this up, to allow all the reactions to flood in... and I am sickened.

We have everything across the board. Able-bodied people that have actually listened to disabled people, who have supported us (which is deeply appreciated). Able-bodied people who may have had good intentions, but a skewed sense of the situation and perpetuating some of the more insidious lies being spread around (IE. that this is only about the new costume).

There are, obviously, the ableist reactions, though, that we will be discussing here. People deeming the current issues as ‘crazy’, calling disabled people ‘overly sensitive’ and ‘delusional’. Many people have completely glossed over the examples given for why Taylor, specifically, is ableist, and instead have resorted to telling disabled people that we are wrong and should be mad at DC instead.

It’s important to note that Tom Taylor is an adult man. He doesn’t need a fandom to attack disabled people for daring to call him out. He is not the victim in this situation; he has, for quite a few disabled people, been the aggressor.

I have seen claims that Infinite Frontier is a ‘slow burn’, implying that disabled people need to patient... as if we have not waited a decade for less ableist writing. There is a complete refusal from able-bodied fans to actually listen to what disabled people are saying. They would much rather rush to the defence of the (honestly rather mediocre) current Nightwing run.

Disabled fans know that comic book spaces are ableist. We know that both DC and Marvel and many of their writers are ableist. We are still allowed to be pissed as hell about it and acting like the current reaction being had right now is disabled people being ‘overdramatic’ is yet another example of how the able-bodied side of the fandom both refuses to listen to and undermine disabled people when we call out ableism.

We know it when we see it. We always do and we always will and we will always be able to recognize it far faster than an able-bodied person. If this many disabled fans are coming out and talking about an issue, calling it ableism, then it’s time for you shut up and listen.

Stop being a part of the problem and start supporting disabled fans for once.

#barbara gordon #dick grayson #nightwing #batgirl #tom taylor #tw ableism #okay to rb

829 notes · View notes