#Losing Face by Wilbur Soot. by the way :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghostiexe · 4 months

Text

Teacher AU!Wilbur x Reader

hello fellas i'm back with another wilbur fic he has been all i can think about for the past several days. take this

wordcount: 1,461 (part 1/?)

as always this is not proof read sorry lads

part 2 here

Being a teacher is not the job you thought you’d end up with when you were doing career planning in 12th grade, but here you stand.

Back in the same high school you swore never to return to.

Oh, well, then. At least you have mediocre pay and little to no benefits, right?

You sigh and drop a box onto the desk in your mostly empty classroom. It’s bare and almost liminal in a sense, and you can't help but feel creeped out.

You step back from the desk and examine the room with your hands on your hips for a moment before shaking your head. This setup is awful, you decide. Time to change it up a bit.

You get to work pushing desks across the room, trying to ignore the screeching of metal against linoleum. You’re already sweating and it’s only been a couple minutes since you made the decision to completely change the room.

You huff softly as you drag another desk, having two of the legs lifted slightly off the ground. Suddenly, you lose your grip on it, and it falls directly onto your foot.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, yanking your foot out from under it and pulling your leg up protectively, bouncing slightly as you try to keep your balance with your one foot on the ground. Suddenly, you hear a soft knock on your doorframe and you whip your head around to see who it is.

You’re met with the sight of a concerned looking, very, very tall man. He has a mess of curly brown hair and glasses that are too big for his face, though you can’t help but think they suit him. “Um… Are you alright?” He asks, gesturing to your foot, which you realize you’re still holding. Your face flushes and you put your foot back down on the ground, tucking your hair, embarrassed.

“Yes, I’m okay.” You assure him, laughing awkwardly. “Sorry, uh, for my language.” You apologize, and he cracks a small smile.

“It’s okay.” He assures you, leaning against the doorframe. “Is this your first year teaching?” He asks, sounding genuinely curious as he looks you up and down. You nod.

“Yeah, it is.” You admit, starting to drag the desk again. The man winces at the sound. “Do you need help?” He asks, and you nod instantly.

“Yes please.” You say, sighing in relief. He walks over and lifts the other side of the desk, following your lead when you take it to the corner of the room. He clears his throat as the both of you work.

“So, I assume you’re the new English teacher, then…?” He asks, and you nod, stepping back to look at your now rearranged room. You hum softly in approval of the sight.

“Uh, yeah, I am.” You say, realizing you haven’t introduced yourself. You wipe your palms on your pants and reach out, offering your name and a handshake. He accepts.

“I’m Wilbur.” He introduces himself. “Though you’ll have to refer to me as Mr. Soot in front of the kids, I suppose.” He says, shrugging. You smile gently.

“Well, Mr. Soot, I appreciate the help.” You tell him, and he nods, glancing away and then back to you, looking a little shy.

“It’s no problem, really.” He mumbles, scratching the back of his head. Your attention is drawn toward his outfit, then, and you let out a startled laugh.

“Is that The Front Bottoms? No way, I love them.” You say. He looks a little surprised, but nods eagerly.

“It is! You like them?” He asks, the nervousness slipping away slightly. “Yeah, of course!” You say, beaming up at him. “I’ve seen them in concert twice.” Wilbur groans at the news.

“Unfair, I’ve been wanting to see them for forever.” He says with a small pout. You giggle. “Well, I wish you luck on getting tickets.” You say, lazily saluting. He laughs softly.

“Well, now I’m glad I wore this shirt today.” He says. “You’ll probably not see me in it again for a while, I don’t dress casually on school days.” He says, crossing his arms and leaning against your wall. You hum.

“Oh? And what do you teach, again?” You ask, and he sighs. “Oh, God, good question. Well, I’m supposed to be the History and Geography teacher, but the board found out I can play instruments, so now I’m supposed to be teaching a combined history-slash-music class. I had to plan the whole class in a month.” He complains, dragging a hand down his face in exasperation. You wince.

“Yikes. That sounds interesting, though. How did you manage that? Is it, like, just exploring the history of music?” You ask, and he nods.

“Yeah, pretty much.” He admits, rubbing his arm. “It’s probably gonna be a shit class, since I barely had time to put anything together.” He says with a sigh. “But I’m supposedly the ‘boring’ teacher anyway, so it’s not like I have a reputation to uphold anyway.” He says sarcastically. You frown.

“Boring? You don’t seem boring to me, why do they think you’re boring?” You ask, genuinely bewildered. He winces.

“Ah, well, I was a new teacher last year, so my lessons were very, uh, by the book, I guess you could say. I didn’t really put any of my own spins on the lessons or anything because I was too focused on trying to drill information into their brains.” He says, sounding a little embarrassed. “Ahh, I see.” You say sympathetically, nodding. “Well, what do you have planned for this year?” You ask, gesturing for him to come sit at your desk with you. You grab one of the plastic chairs for yourself and let him sit in your spinning chair.

“Well, I’ve been trying to think of ways to spice geography up, so I found a couple games I thought might be interesting to have them play in class.” He says, tapping on his chin thoughtfully as he sits back in your chair, looking up at the ceiling. “I might have them playing Geoguessr.” He says, resting his hands on his lap. “Oh, that sounds fun!” You say, clapping your hands lightly. “I wish I could do something like that for my class.” You say.

He turns his gaze back to you. “Well, what grade are you teaching English for?” He asks. “Because if you’ve got freshmen and sophomores, I’d say it’s probably not the best idea, but if you’ve got the juniors and seniors, you could definitely do something with them.” You nod. “I’m teaching for juniors and seniors, actually. But I have a senior creative writing class, too.” Wilbur looks pleased at the news. “Oh, really? What’ve you got planned for creative writing?” He asks, smiling softly. “I always like seeing what the students come up with, some of the kids from last year were actually really good.” He says. You smile back.

“Well, I’ve planned a unit on the butterfly effect, but I also want to do some poetry next term.” You say, tucking your hair behind your ear and gently tapping your fingers on the desk. Wilbur hums thoughtfully.

“Well, poetry could be fun. I’m a shit poet, honestly, but I mean, at least they make for good song lyrics?” He says, wincing slightly before waving his hand to dismiss the topic. “That will be fun, though, I think. Is it an elective or required class?”

“Just an elective.” You respond, tucking away the comment about song lyrics for later. You still your hands and place them flat on the desk. “Thankfully. I don’t know if I could force a bunch of uninterested kids into actually doing the work if it was required.” You say, shaking your head. He makes a sympathetic sound. “Yeah, I understand. Sometimes I wish that I taught more elective classes, but there’s not really many history or geography related electives I would be eligible to teach, anyway.” He says, chuckling to himself. “Maybe if the kids drive me crazy enough I’ll just give up and have ‘em watch Crash Course videos for the whole class.” He jokes, and you giggle softly.

“If only, if only.” You say, sighing dramatically. After a pause – a few moments of comfortable silence – you speak up again, clearing your throat.

“So how’s the cafeteria food here? Any good? I mean, when I went to school here it sucked, any developments?” You ask. “Oh, you went here for high school?” He asks, before shaking his head. “Unfortunately no, by the way. What year did you graduate? I graduated in ‘18.” He says, pushing his large glasses up.

“Oh, I graduated in 2019. We’re only a year apart, that’s cool.” You say, then glance at the time. “Shit, it’s nearly five.” You say, frowning. “I need to finish setting up my room.” You say, standing up and sighing. He nods in understanding. “That’s alright, I’ll leave you to it.” He says, standing up too. “Unless you need help, still?” You shoot him a grateful smile but shake your head. “No, it’s alright. Thank you, though. For helping, and for keeping me company. I’ll, uh, see you around?” You ask, and he nods.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll make sure to drop by your classroom.” He says, running a hand through his curls. “And, um, don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything.” He adds, sounding a bit shy.

“Of course, thank you so much, Wilbur.” You say, grateful you’ve got someone to talk to now. You smile at him, though it looks a bit exhausted. “I’ll see you Monday.”

“I’ll see you Monday.” He agrees, waving at you before stepping out and walking down the hall to his own room. The second he walks away you have to take a moment to breath.

What the fuck, he was cute.

#wilbur soot x reader #wilbur x reader #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot fanfic #wilbur x you #teacher wilbur #teacher reader

215 notes · View notes

sootical · 5 months

Text

Permanence

->Wilbur Soot x Reader (hinted but never explicitly stated) ->No use of Y/n ->I tried to be as gender neutral as possible.

*Hurt, minimal comfort, hopeful ending TW: Su*cidal ideation, Self destructive thoughts and actions, SH mentions/references, depression, lots and lots of depression. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK Summary: You are stuck in a multi-month long depressive episode, and it's gotten so much worse. You're on your last leg, and you need someone to help you. Good thing best friend(?) Wilbur and his band are there to help :] Word Count - 2.4k

Wilbur Soot. Twitch streamer turned famous musician, heartthrob—you get it. He’s everything anyone could want in a partner. Trust me, I would know. He’s been my best friend since form. And since then, he’s only ever been kind and considerate and just overall an amazing person. What a guy right? With his stupid brown hair that covers one of his eyes when it’s outgrown. Stupid brown eyes that have just the right amount of dark and light brown in them. It’s stupid of me really, to ever hope for a future with him that involves us being more than friends. I can only hope though, right? He’s up there, in the states, singing his heart out on a stage. While I’m stuck, on the other side of paradise–more like purgatory–lamenting on how many people adore him. I’m feeling sorry for myself, rotting away in bed at 2 in the morning. It’s not like I have to work in three hours–whaaaat nooooo… A knot develops in my stomach at the mere thought of leaving my bed. Maybe losing my job isn’t so bad. Wilbur has told me time and time again he’d pay me to edit for him. But I could never make him do that. Never would I take advantage of him like that. I’d feel like more of a burden than I already do. The thought of him having to support me financially makes me want to vomit. It makes my skin crawl, so it’s okay if I waste away. If I end up rotting away in my bed. It’s fine. At least then I wouldn’t be able to consume too much of Wilbur’s time. Taking up too much of his time has always been my biggest fear. To me, it came true a long time ago and I’m finally reaping what I sowed. It sucks really, how I thought I'd have a shot. Just for it all to blow up in my face. Now he’s somewhere in America–having the time of his life. Good for him. Bad for me.

Reaching over, I grab my phone. My coworkers probably hate me. I keep asking them to cover my shifts so I can rot in bed for another day. It’s been like this since–September? It started off just once every few weeks. Now, it being almost December, I’ve not gone to work in over two weeks. What’s the point anymore anyways? I can’t do this. I can’t do anything. Deep down, when I started doing things for myself–I knew I wouldn’t be able to do this. That was two years ago. I guess I’m finally breaking.

Pulling the duvet over my head, I try not to think about how my breath smells, and the uncomfortable way the oil sticks to my face. I shove my head into the pillow. Trying to block out the sounds of people existing below my apartment. It’s so much easier to rot away when people don’t rely on you. When you have no reason for existence. I don’t want to die. But at the same time I don’t want to live. I’m too much of a coward to do anything about it, so I lay and wait. I wait for some omnipotent being to strike me down and judge me for how I’ve managed to mess up any and all relationships I’ve ever had with anyone. Me and Nikki haven’t spoken in almost a year. Me and Wilbur haven’t even seen each other in months My family doesn’t talk to me.

I wish I could say “The world is fucked and everyone hates me.” But that’s not the truth. The truth is I am my own undoing. I have destroyed everything I’ve worked for. Any relationships–platonic and romantic–have fallen through because of my own emotions and insecurities getting in the way. It’s not fair for anyone. Well, anyone except for me. I brought this upon myself. My phone is the only thing lighting up my face. I looked at the time. Suddenly it’s six in the morning, and I’m late for work. The thought makes me want to cry, but I can’t. I can’t tell if it’s apathy—or dehydration.

I call my boss. She answers. “Where are you?! I haven’t seen you in weeks! I’m worried about you hun, do you need me to call someone?” She opens, sounding both relieved and shocked I even called. I clear my throat the best I can, swallowing saliva feels like eating sandpaper. “I uh..I was calling to let you know I won’t be coming back. I’m quitting. And I’m sorry for not putting in my two weeks. It’s not–” Something foreign is bubbling up in my throat, I force myself to swallow it down. “-It’s not fair to you. And I’m sorry.” I whisper, hanging up shortly after.

I feel terrible for worrying her. I feel terrible for upsetting her. I feel terrible. I am terrible. I’m a parasite. I always have been. Mooching off of others in order to help myself get by. My thoughts fall back to Wilbur. I’ve been mooching off of him for however long we’ve been friends. I want him to be happy. I don’t want him to feel like he needs to be my friend to keep me alive. But at the same time–I can’t do this anymore. I can’t look myself in the mirror and tell myself it’s me. I can’t. I’m not the person I thought I’d become. I’m not the person I thought I was. I’m useless. My phone rings again. I go to decline it, I can’t.

Wilbur’s face greets me. His contact photo, the two of us at the amusement park I helped them film for Tommy’s vlog channel. We’re smiling. His arm over my shoulder, and my head on his arm. I remember that day. Wilbur held me for a bit while Tommy and Phil were off filming a different part of the vlog with Russ. I was overwhelmed and so was he, so we took the time to chill by the snack stands. He got tommy cotton candy, and we split popcorn even though he couldn’t really taste it. We spent a good time just taking funny pictures with each other. I remember that day, it was a great one.

Tears breach my eyes before I can stop them. A sob ripping through me, I force my face into the pillow to muffle it. The ringing stops. My tears don’t, and that makes me feel so much worse. My chest convulses as my sobs reverberate through the room. I’m a mess. I’m laying in my bed, rotting. Wasting away and feeling sorry for myself. Everything is terrifying, every breath I take reminds me of how I’m alive. Reminds me of how I can’t escape the feeling of impending doom that washes over me. I’m going to die here. I’m going to die. I was never permanent.

I knew I couldn’t do this. I’ve been lying to myself, little lies, white lies. To convince myself everything was okay. That it was fine for me to fall in love, it was fine for me to believe I wasn’t just taking up space. That I wasn’t slowly getting tired.

Contemplating whether or not cut myself some slack–but ending up just cutting myself loose. I lift the duvet from my head, staring at the ceiling. My eyes flick to the ground, clothes and food everywhere. Some of it’s moldy. It makes me feel worse about myself. Turning my head, I look to my PC. I should sell it. Someone else would be much happier with it. I haven’t used it in a while anyways. I can’t take care of any of the stuff I have can I?

My phone rings again, this time I do answer.

“Oh my god–” I hear multiple people take a sharp breath in. I can’t stop myself from making a small noise of confusion. “Hey..Your boss–called us.” I recognize the voice to be Joe. I lift the phone, checking the caller ID. It was Wilbur again. “Wil—?” It hurts so bad to talk, I haven’t used my voice this much since the end of October. I hear a choked noise and whispers. “We’re gonna—come over there okay? The tour ended last night, no gigs for a while. Wil’s been missing you y’know.” I can’t tell who said that, “I–no. Sorry.” I don’t know why I said that. I don’t know why I hung up either.

Maybe deep down I did want them to help, I do want their help. But logically–It’s for the best.

I swing my legs over the side of my bed, cringing at how my clothes hang off of me. My back hurts something awful. I’m so tired.

Yet I stand on two feet and walk to my bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t recognize them. My hair–too long and too oily for it to be mine. My skin is pale and the bags under my eyes are so dark they could rival a racoon.

It’s then that my legs decide to give out. I can feel my knees split as I hit the tile. I’m so tired. I look down at the sweater I’m wearing. It’s one of Wil’s. I can’t remember when I put it on. I can’t remember a lot of things recently. Like when this got so bad. Or when my arms started to sting. My eyes are heavy, I can barely keep them open. Maybe a nap wouldn’t be so bad.

When I wake up it’s to voices around me. I’m laying on something warm–It’s moving. I can’t find it in myself to open my eyes. My breathing picks up, and I hear an intake of air accompanied by a hand on my forehead. My eyes are shooting open in fear before I’m trembling. He’s above me, looking down at me like I could break.

I look around, there's two other people. I can barely make them out. Joe and Ash. It’s hard to think. It’s so hard to think.

“There you are..” Wilbur whispers, his pointer finger gently stroking my cheekbone. “What happened to you love?” I can’t tell if it’s his tone, or the fact he looks so broken. But I can’t stop my eyes from watering and my body from turning into him, hiding myself away. Embarrassment filled me, they’d seen it all. The moldy food, the dirty clothes. They probably saw the abundance of mail I'd gotten as well. People are walking out the room. Not Wilbur, he stays. He stays and makes me look at him. “Here’s what’s gonna happen, I’m gonna help you shower, and they’re going to clean and get you food. Okay?” My eyes widened. I shake my head so quickly it hurts. His face falls, he looks down at what I’m wearing. His face falls even more. “Love…” He whispers. “I don’t–I can’t. Don’t make me.” I whisper. Wilbur wipes away my tears and shakes his head. “No. You’re going to get clean, eat, and then you will sleep for however long you need to.” He lifts me like I’m nothing.

He sets me on the toilet, turning to the tub and turning on the faucet. He waits for it to get warm before he’s plugging the drain and helping me get undressed. He brushes the hair from my face, he frowns at the sight of the back of my head. He looks down at my arms before I can see him clenching his jaw. “We’ll work on the matts too.” He picks me up again, placing me in the tub and going to shut the door. He grabs a towel from the cabinet, as well as a washcloth. He swipes the comb from the counter.

“I’m sorry.” I can’t help but whisper. He sighs. “I know. But it’s alright. We were worried about you.” Was all he said before he’s dousing my hair in water. He keeps a hand on my forehead, stopping the water from getting into my eyes. And with that, he applies conditioner and starts to de-matt my hair. An hour and countless tub refills later, my hair is de-matted and I’m clean. Feeling slightly better too. Wilbur gave me the crewneck he was wearing for comfort, before planting a kiss on my forehead and leaving the room to grab other clothes. The sounds from the outside are a lot less foggy now. I can hear the boys outside bickering and talking. “Are they okay Wil?” “What happened?” “From your face, I can tell it wasn’t good.”

I can’t help but stand weakly, the towel wrapped around me. I look in the mirror. I look a little more like myself. I touch my face, I look pale. I am pale. My hair is a bit longer now. I don’t smell bad anymore. I do feel better, but I can’t help but think I’m making Wilbur do this.

Wilbur reappears, he looks at me and smiles. He hands me the clothing he picked out before leaving the room once again, though he stands just outside the door.

I dress quickly. Slipping on Wilbur’s crewneck once I have my shirt on. I walk out, giving Wilbur a small smile. “You uh–You didn’t have to do this.” He takes my hand and leads me through my now clean apartment. “I did. Because if I didn’t–If we didn’t, you’d be dead right now, or you’d have killed yourself soon.” He says, sitting me down at the table that’s been cleared off. “Now, be honest. When is the last time you remember eating something?” He asks.

My face drops. That’s the thing–I can’t. “Uh–Tuesday?” I say, like I even know what day it is, his face falls. “It’s Friday.” He deadpans before going into the kitchen, he comes back with Ash, Mark, and Joe. They each have both in their hands. Wilbur has two.

“It’s just soup. Easy on the stomach.” Joe pipes up before sitting on my right, Wilbur sits on my left, and Ash and Mark sit across from me. “We don’t need to talk about things right now, no one is going to make you. But you need to talk to someone soon. Maybe not us, but someone.” Wilbur said, putting his hand on my knee. “Yeah. I think I can do that.” They smile, I eat my soup, and for the first time since September–I feel permanent.

#wilbur soot #fluff #wilbur mcyt #wilbur #angst #x reader #wilbur soot x reader #Wilbur Soot x Reader angst #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot x you #heavy angst #hurt/comfort #Minimal comfort #lovejoy

106 notes · View notes

beeindaclouds · 1 year

Text

A Christmas Special: What spending Christmas w/ the DSMP is like

Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Quackity, Karl Jacobs, Wilbur Soot, Philza, Technoblade Eret, Punz, FoolishGamers

Click here before requesting, please ^^

Reader: GN - They/Them

Disclaimer: Tommy is only mentioned. This is in no way a Tommy × Reader

Dream Team: A Traditional Christmas

It's always fun to do anything with these three, but Christmas w/ them definitely feels more special and fun

Sapnap ans George are the ones who wake you up first thing in the morning, cause it's Christmas lol, while you and Dream try to get some more sleep in

They go to Dream first, so they can annoy him to no end, then they decide to gang up on you

Screaming, tickling, pillows thrown at you, anything you can imagine them doing to wake you up lmao

After waking up, and openings presents you brought eachother, you all decide to start cooking for lunch

George and Sapnap are in charge of the appetizers and desert

You and Dream get the rest, because Dream doesn't trust George or Sapnap with cooking

Even while eating you three will keep on a very good conversation, filled with laughs and jokes

One of you probably ends up spitting some food out from laughing, definetly not pointing fingers at a certain someone

Then the rest of the day is spent playing random games or watching movies, ending the night with a good 'ol cuddle pile on the couch

Skephalo: A Virtual Christmas

Since these two absolutely refuse to meet up, more like Bad refuses to take an airplane while you and Skeppy have been begging him for years now, you decide to have a virtual Christmas on discord

You three spent the whole day on discord togheter doing what you usually would do on Christmas day

Beforehand you brought and sent eachother gifts, so you'd take the time to open them on call

Skeppy's gifts sometimes being trolls or things about himself

Like I imagine Skeppy gifting you and Bad plushies with his face on them, so "I can always be with you" he says

You play Minecraft, without filming for once, among other multiplayer games

You played Mario Kart, bad idea, cause Bad kept on losing and got salty

Online Uno was the next, but Skeppy kept on giving Bad "+2's" and +4's"

Golf with Friends was another one you played, but you kept on pushing the other two off track yet somehow still winning

But, no matter how much you bickered over these stupid games, you three had one of the most fun Christmases ever

Karlity & Himbros: A Snowy Christmas

Quackity came to visit America for a while, so you and the other four decided to just spend Christmas togheter

I imagine the day of Christmas being a very snowy day, so much that you 5 decided to go out and "play" a little

Karl and Foolish kept on putting snow in the other three's coats, which would just end up with a chasing game

Punz and you randomly decided to make a snow fort and start a snowball battle against the other three

You two obviously won

Then you made a snow man and named him Antonio Banderas, you even gave him a little goatee and all

After tiring yourself out, you proceeded to go inside and make hot choco for everyone

In the end you all attached yourself to Foolish, cause man's jacked and therefore has more body heat

SBI: A Memorable Christmas

You five met up the day after Christmas actually, wanting to spend the actual day with your family and/or loved one(s)

So you brought whatever food you could from the previous day and all met up at Phil's house

Most of the day was spent talking, playing and getting annoyed by Tommy and his loud nature

Tristin had, so kindly, brought all of you sweaters with your name initial in the front and "SBI" written on the back

You all took many pictures and took little funny videos like you were modeling new merch

All of you, including Tristin, also took family style Christmas pictures that you all got framed to remember this amazing day

Tommy and you also took advantage of the situation to film some tik toks with the other three

You tried your best to get Techno to do one dance, he mostly refused, until you somehow managed to make him do one

Wilbur, on the other hand, was happy to do a silly little dance with you even if it wasn't perfect

At one point you decided to make ginger bread cookies, and try to create eachother

Which didn't end well because Wilbur and Tommy started throwing icing around and it turned into a food fight

Phil and Tristin just watched from the side as you and Tommy were mixing flower into Wilbur and Techno's hair

304 notes · View notes

wolfythewitch · 1 year

Note

Wolfy I remember some sbi thing where you linked each of them to one of The Oh Hellos four winds album things (is it the time loop fic? Can't remember). What was your reasoning behind each of those? Super curious you always have those tasty parallels and thematic things that work so well

Uhhh well I did do that on the time loop fic yeah but I also made a post a while back about it

Zephyrus for Phil is the most obvious, but I also associated it with him way before syndicate was made just because it fits, y'know?

I mainly associated it with his hardcore world, especially these lyrics. But these ones also feel very c!Phil. Immortal and doomed to love and lose. I think that's the most human part of him.

If you watch his hc streams it pretty much makes sense on its own. I love s4, the way he's able to build something so clearly magical in a way? I described his world once as a world for gods to walk in, and I think that's a pretty neat descriptor for it.

For Techno I picked Eurus, because one it's gives that nice little duo of West and East for emduo, but also Eurus feels like a song about wanting. I think it fits pretty well with Techno's constant cycle of violence, despite the fact that he's tried to sit back and retire. He's a warrior, a god's vassal, and so Fortune's wheel spins with every battle and war, every time he cheats death.

For Wilbur and Tommy, I was picking between Notos and Boreas for them because both fit, but in the end I picked Notos for Wilbur.

The lyrics themselves are pretty self explanatory, and I think works really well for his spiralling and paranoia. The way the tides lapped him up until he couldn't breathe, and in the end all that water came gushing out into a destructive explosion. And he let go

So that leaves Tommy with Boreas, which I think is a pretty good song for his character especially as the story progressed.

His story is a lot about sacrifice. His discs, friends, home, he gave a lot. I remember comparing him to a fire once, in my fic.

He never truly knew Tommy. Not like Techno or Wilbur did. He learned of him through Wilbur's letters, and then from the brief time he's spent living under Techno's home. Every version was different. The letters described him like a fire, bright and boisterous and lively. The boy that lived under the floorboards felt like embers, snuffed out and a dying dim red instead of bright yellow. And when he had first met Tommy, back after the explosion, he was like candlelight, as if a vigil held to mourn the lost, standing in front of the caved in room with a pickaxe and a shovel, tears streaming down his soot smeared face, looking as if he wanted to dig out the body that was no longer there.

And I thought that was also pretty fitting haha. He's a very lively kid, but time and time again his flame has been close to being snuffed out. And time and time again, he's shown that in the end, he's willing to give and give even if it means there won't be much of him left. Because he loves, to the point of ruin

#wolfy tedtalks #anon #falls over sleeping at last also has something like this #if you ask me i Will ramble

223 notes · View notes

lmanberg · 2 months

Note

ik this is a bizarre thing to say but i dont know anyone or anywhere i could say it so: w the recent wilbur soot allegations the one thing i just keep thinking is what if he kills himself? i obviously am not excusing the horrible things hes done but death is always tragic (imo) and well… hes unstable, hes been exposed for every possible thing to make his audience never see him the same way again, hes probably gonna lose friends and his band and the public image / money / fame he clearly cared deeply about. he has a history of mental illness that has not gone away nor been addressed properly. hes totally in the exact spot where an attempt would almost seem rational. i feel like im going insane i hope my gut is dead wrong about this but omfg i just cant shake it

Not bizarre, I had the same thought and even talked about it with modcord a bit in vc right after it happened. I do think it’s possible, and I think his actions after his “apology” really reinforced any desire he may have to do so.

It’s funny because the day before he made that Twitch account and things like that, I was thinking that, while this is bad for his career, I could see him having a comeback. Disappear for 9-12 months, come back with a good apology video (video posted to yt to get as many casual ex-fans to see as possible bc people don’t really block yt channels) and say you’ve changed and have proof, AA coins, therapy notes, medication bottles, things that prove that you’ve been doing something over those whole 9-12 months and not just sitting on ur ass until the last week. Message Shelby personally before making a return to the public eye, give a genuine and heartfelt apology with no expectation to reconnect, but don’t make it public that you did so. Thank her for forcing you to take accountability and being the slap in the face you needed to change. Let her share that interaction or let it stay between you two. Certainly not everyone would go back to him, but casual fans that aren’t on social media probably would. I say this knowing my irl who is one of those—I know that if he did those things that she’d listen to his music again. Of course, he might not have changed at all and just done all of it for selfish reasons, but I wasn’t thinking about it in a “oh I hope he can redeem himself” way, I was thinking of it in a PR way.

But as soon as he started acting like a fool with that Twitch account and the subtle passive aggressiveness, he ruined any chance that he could come back. He showed that he’s not regretful, even a little. After just the apology, he could’ve spun it that he was in the moment and not thinking and called himself an idiot for posting it, but everything after… just stupid. Good riddance I guess

#ask #wilbur soot #// suicide

26 notes · View notes

bewaretheidesofmarchyall · 5 months

Text

spinning q!quackity around in my head. like a leaf in the wind

As a person who loves descents into the underworld and journeys through character's psyches, this current series of q!Quackity's Tormentous Nightmare streams are my kryptonite. So, here's one pattern I've noticed about them:

In the first episode, qQ was confronted by a vision of Tilín about how he failed him. This isn't how Tilín really acts- during the dia de los muertos event, she forgave her actual killer. She would never tell her dad that he didn't deserve heaven, but that's what qQ's dream of his kid said to him.

In the second episode, qQ was confronted by a vision of Richarlyson. His adoptive son that he fought tooth and nail to get even a percentage of custody of, the kid that held onto his love for him through custody arguments and evil clones and stolen memories. qQuackity always cared about Richarlyson, but he was never able to be there for him like his other dads (mostly due to circumstances out of his control, like getting fucking kidnapped). During the episode, he fails to pay attention to his son, and destroys a statue of him. This damns him further.

And in tonight's episode, qQ saw a vision of Tallulah. More specifically, he saw a full illusion of a world where he was Tallulah's dad. Oscurucho told him to destroy that illusion in order to leave Hell. He couldn't do it.

Some people have taken this as a sign of his goodness- he wouldn't hurt Tallulah. He couldn't do it. Which is a fair way to think about it. But I kind of see it differently?

qQuackity has always had this deal where he idealizes things that never were, and tears himself apart over the things that really happened. See: the way he imagines his actual parenting of Tilín and Richarlyson in the worst light, but he places Wilbur Soot (a guy he's had a few mostly positive interactions with) at the top of his list of important people and pictures himself being a perfect father to Tallulah. So, on the one hand, his refusal to destroy the mimicry of his could-have-been daughter shows a level of care for her. On the other hand, it's also another failure- If he got rid of the imaginary Tallulah who was his daughter, let that false future go, he'd (allegedly) get to return to earth and see the real Tallulah. But he couldn't go through with that. He just pleaded with Oscurucho, let me be happy.

In every single episode so far, qQuackity has been set up to lose. He follows Oscurucho's instructions and breaks the Richarlyson statue? Hell awaits. He rebels against Oscurucho's instructions and refuses to destroy illusionary Tallulah? Hell awaits. At every turn, his failures are thrown in his face. Proving that he couldn't be a good father. Proving he has to stay in Hell longer.

and if we take this as an Oscurucho-influenced coma dream.

The core thesis of this man's nightmares are that he deserves damnation.

What the fuck?? What the fuck? Who the fuck hurt you, qQuackity?? Besides the federation and your evil clone and that one time you were shot point blank with a gun and

#qsmp #love getting to see the inside of a character's mind and it's just. damn you live like this??#qquackity #q!quackity #quackity #this got long ASJSJS #i'm just buzzing with thoughts. a small hive of bees has been shoved in my brain and they only say “what the fuck is qquackity's deal”

48 notes · View notes

genevawren38 · 3 months

Text

My Favourite Stories I Have Written, a Blog;

✨Wilbur & Technoblade, Wilbur & Techno & Eret [Twinsduo, Traitorduo, Royalduo]

✨38k The Last of Us AU

✨Wilbur-centric & Techno-centric

✨Graphic Depictions Of Violence & MCD

✨Chapter 2 / 2 (When You're Lost in the Darkness / Look for the Light)

🎵Atlas Falls by Shinedown

"Wil, maybe you are immune?”

“Just put a bullet through my temple Techno, be simpler than second guessing leading to me accidentally killing you.”

“I won’t do that as long as you remain healthy, let’s just keep going and wait out a few more days before I do something so permanent. Deal?”

“...Fine.”

~~~

Wilbur and Technoblade's parents go missing, one after the other when their mother leaves for a routine outing and never returns leading their father to follow suit. Scared but determined the pair of brothers leave their safe haven to search, facing the horrors of the world they grew up in on their quest to find answers. Along the way they make a concerning discovery after Wilbur is bitten, with the tears of losing a close friend on their face the twins find themselves with more questions than answers on this long road they travel.

✨#mcytficfight Team Mushroom, c!Wilbur Soot & c!Technoblade & c!TommyInnit & c!Phil Watson [SBI / Sleepy Bois Inc]

✨12.1k W.C.

✨c!Wilbur Soot-centric

✨Graphic Descriptions & Canon Divergence

🎵Beside You by Marianas Trench

“I don’t know how to do this.” Wil admitted, looking down at the wrinkled hand he still held pressed to his scar.

“If I know you, and I hope I do because you are my son, you have the strength to face this. Your inner core is pure hellfire, when forged right you could melt the very bedrock we stand upon if you believe it to be best. For you to even begin to accept how far your actions spread you must face the people it hurt the most. For you to get that determination you must see the pain you caused, then do your best to resolve it because your strength comes from those you keep near, fighting for ideals they believe in. You just care so fucking much about things, son, let those things be the ones you once held dear. After all, when you have good connections you can face anything. You might see forgiveness in the smallest places, but it will be a step forward nonetheless.”

✨#3SongsChal, c!Eret & c!Wilbur, c!Fundy, c!Philza, c!Niki Nihachu, c!Technoblade, c!Foolish_Gamers, c!Awesamdude, c!TommyInnit, c!Tubbo [Traitorduo, Prankduo, Divineduo, Royalduo, Eternalduo, Butterflyduo]

✨15.8k W.C.

✨c!Eret-centric

✨A tour of the Royal Archives

✨Graphic Depictions Of Violence & MCD & Canon Divergence

🎵WHERE THE SKIES END by Starset

Each space had its time and place, many combinations of conversations happened as they moved through their histories. Wilbur, Fundy, Tommy, Tubbo and Eret stood inside the Final Control Room as they exchanged apologies, the walls of death changing to mean one of reunions even moons later. Father and son eventually discussed their problems, turning into a family discussion when they moved to Wilbur’s Control Room.

Every place they stopped inspired the spark of forgiveness, from tiny to years old wounds, many things were talked about on this tour.

Tommy and Sam took a moment alone inside the copy of the prison cell the teen died in, coming out looking on much better terms. No more glances were traded between the pair, a tentative peace that would only grow stronger with the right sort of nurturing.

A private moment happened between Ruler and shark totem when they approached the Egg, the Ruler gave themself the grace of the words the shark had told them time and time again, it was time to let go of the regret.

Each exhibit passed in much the same fashion, the people most affected discussing their experiences and talking about thoughts they held for years. When they stood in front of the desk once more, the tour completed, tension no longer crackled in the air.

Comradery had been forged among these broken soldiers who stood before them, each put through their own personal hells in their time spent here. The Ruler felt the lightest they had in years seeing the fire ignited in so many souls once more.

This is what stories were supposed to do, to bring others together to listen to others words. To share wisdom and morals, to learn from what happened in the past and move forward into the future. Looking at each face gathered, Eret draws comfort that even through it all, they had said yes to coming today.

[The rest below the cut]

“if you find bones in the forest, sit a bit and listen. they are old and have some good stories to tell. maybe they’ll teach you a spell or two, or explain where the water on our planet came from.

✨#mcytficfight Team Phantom👻

✨Eret & Techno, Eret & Niki, Eret & Phil

✨13.4k W.C.

✨Eret-centric

✨Pirates & Sirens & SBI goodness

✨Forgotten by NateWantsToBattle

if you find bones by the ocean, run. don’t look back. run, faster, faster. the sea may love you but there are nights where she knows neither mercy nor science, and the bones warn you only once.”

~~~

Nightshade spent her whole life jumping from crew to crew, following the only magical item that might answer her lifelong questions about the missing part of herself. During her quest she ends up captured by the Shadows of the Abandoned crew who accepts her without condition and she learns to love herself despite the hand life dealt her and unlocks her true heart.

✨q!FitMC / q!PacTW [Hideduo/Fitpac]

✨12.3W.C.

✨q!FitMC-centric

✨Federation Happy Pills aftereffects & Canon Divergence & Romance

🎵How Did You Love by Shinedown

~~~

Finding love in the hints of shaky music and heavy aromas of roses, in the hesitant new beginnings of a starting courtship seeing the worst of each other and still accepting them no matter how battered or broken. They are both on their first dates and their forever partnership, forced together by horrifying circumstances but finding sanctuary in one another's arms and words.

Fit realises just how much Pac means to him after nearly losing him, dedicating himself to treasuring the one who trusted the anarchist to protect him, both healing along the way.

‘Tell me about Technoblade’.

✨q!Philza & q!Chayanne & q!Tallulah, c!Philza & c!Technoblade [Emerald Duo]

✨4.6k W.C.

✨q!Philza-centric

🎵Traveler’s Song by Aviators

The Angel of Death’s new charge commented a dear name to the ancient crow on the sign in front of him, a small blonde child looking at the avian hybrid with wide blue eyes filled with an ocean of curious questions. A dragon skull encased the top half of his face, held by some unknown force as wild gold curls spilled around it. His rose scaled wings were held close to his spine, peering up at the tall older blonde with an expectant stare.

“Oh Goddess, where do I start with that bastard?” Phil said with a wicked smile.

~~~

Philza tells Chayanne and Tallulah of Technoblade's adventures; from the beginning when they were teamed for Minecraft Monday to the Great Potato War, with a few more in between.

“Who are you?”

✨#mcytficfight team mushroom, c!Eret & c!Foolish_Gamers [Eternal Duo]

✨13.5k W.C.

✨c!Eret & c!Foolish_Gamers-centric

✨MCD & Graphic Descriptions & Canon Divergence

🎵creature by Half Alive

“My name is Foolish, I am here to stop the cult!”

The being proceeded to raise an eyebrow while staring at the demi-god, making him wonder why this brunette wasn’t ecstatic that someone friendly arrived and felt rather intimidated by their glare.

“Alright and how exactly do you plan to do that?”

Foolish opened his mouth to explain before falling short, realising beyond getting into the camp he had no clear idea on how to even stop the ritual from happening. Surprising the shark again they let out a rumbling chuckle, a small smile breaking out across their face.

Wilbur’s face doesn’t quite light up like it used to upon seeing them, early days of their country’s formation flashing to mind when they saw happiness when they spoke. Now he seemed hesitant, stopping before them. “Greetings Eret, off to a party?”

✨c!Eret & c!Wilbur [Traitor Duo]

✨3.6W.C.

✨c!Eret-centric

✨Regret & Canon Divergence

🎵Mykonos by the Fleet Foxes

A warm teasing tone sounded through his voice, one white curl falling down his forehead above his crinkled eyes. A hint of worry hid behind that liquid chocolate gaze but he seemed to be in a pleasant mood.

The Ruler laughs, holding the wine up for Wilbur’s viewing. “A party for one if you can believe it.”

“That’s a rather lonely concept.” Wilbur comments, peering at the label in the low evening light.

His reply stung, Eret tried not to let it dig too deeply as they tried to joke. “I am rather used to it. Just me and my bottle of wine, we will spend a lovely night together.”

“Feel up to adding another to that party for one?”

“Wil-Wilbur?” He stutters a bit, shuddering before reaching a tentative hand out to his son.

✨For meIIohisunsets New Years Fic Exchange Event 2022

✨o!Wilbur & o!Tommy, o!Wilbur & o!Philza, o!Wilbur & o!Technoblade [Crimeboys, Sand Duo, SBI]

✨5K W.C.

✨o!Wilbur-centric

✨MCD & SBI Inc as Found Family

🎵Blackbird by The Beatles

Concentrating, he let the blonde feel his cool dead flesh, looking at how his father has aged in the time past. A deep echoed tone rings through his sonorous voice, an eerie marker that he returned from beyond the grave for unknown reasons. “Hello Dad!”

Phil coos, reaching his scarred palm up to caress his son’s strong jawbone. “My son, what happened to you?”

“My own hubris.”

~~~

Wilbur is watching flying lessons between Philza and his youngest chick, Tommy, when the sunshine blonde gets a little too ambitious and the phantom rushes to his side fearing the worst.

[for the rest of the links my AO3 profile is here]

We May Have Lost Our Sanity (We Have Not Lost Our Humanity)

BOLAS BOLAS BOLAS!!!

✨q!Philza & Team BOLAS

✨25.5k W.C.

✨q!Philza-centric

✨Graphic Descriptions

✨QSMP Purgatory Lore Retell

✨Chapter 2/2 (Balance Exists That Calls Through the Abyss / In the Chaos I Create Again)

The Wise Crow Has Been Fooled (A Cage for a Cage)

"Crows remember human faces. They remember the people who feed them, who are kind to them. And the people who wrong them too. They don't forget. They tell each other who to look after and also who to watch out for."

✨q!Philza & Chayanne & Tallulah, q!Philza & q!Tubbo & q!Fit & q!Etoiles [Hardcoreduo, Veteransduo, Codebreakers]

✨7.4k W.C.

✨q!Philza-centric

✨QSMP Non Canon Tale

✨The Call by League of Legends, 2WEI, Louis Leibfried, Edda Hayes

~~~

My non-canon telling of the events from Phil's return to the QSMP after filming and learning of the eggs disappearance up until his capture by Cucurucho.

If the World Wants You Gone, We Will Fight the World

Picking back up his new scythe, his hands find familiar holds on the carved handle as he takes a few practice swings. It had been a very long time since the Angel of Death held a weapon such as this, the past few worlds only allowing him a sword or bow and arrow.

✨q!Philza & Chayanne & Tallulah

✨4.5k W.C.

✨q!Philza-centric

✨QSMP

✨Demons by Imagine Dragons

Flaring his crow-black wings wide, chest hurting as his sky eyes catch the shorn secondary and primary feathers, he allows the moniker to possess him once more. Taking a deep breath as he closes his eyes, seeing battlefields soaked in blood by his hand, he opens them once more to look over this world he woke up in mere months ago.

~~~

Philza is invited to the QSMP Electoral dinner only to find his chicks there, the same chicks he put to bed mere hours ago. As the realisation happens that these are not the real Chayanne and Tallulah, chaos unfolds as two binary monsters suddenly appear.

Gentleness in the Absence of Violence (Despite the Abundance of It)

”We have not touched the stars, / nor are we forgiven, which brings us back / to the hero’s shoulders and the gentleness that comes, / not from the absence of violence, but despite / the abundance of it.”

✨gl!Charlie Slimecicle and gl!Ranboo

✨Generation Loss

✨2.7k W.C.

✨gl!Charlie Slimecicle-centric

✨Graphic Depictions & MCD & Non Canon

🎵Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

~~~

Loneliness smashed into the muscular brunette as Charlie walked past the abandoned storefronts, debris spread across long forgotten floors.

Left behind pieces when not needed, just like him.

Turning the corner of the hall that drew his attention, he freezes at the sight in front of him.

You Make Sure I Always See the Daylight

A Coffee Shop AU about Ranboo, a new student to the city and university, stumbling across The Crows Roost Cafe for some food and he finds so much more than that.

✨#mcytficfight team mushroom, Ranboo & Toby Smith, Ranboo & TommyInnit, Ranboo & SBI Inc [Bee Duo, Allium Duo, SBI Inc & Sleepbees & Friends]

✨32.2k W.C.

✨Ranboo-centric

✨Alternate Universe & Cafe AU & SBI as Found Family

✨Summary continued below

🎵Daylight by Shinedown

A feel good found family story, this follows Ranboo meeting Sleepy Bois Inc and some other recognizable faces, from someone used to being alone to then finding warm companionship served up with his favourite cinnamon vanilla tea.

This will be a multi-part fic telling of how having a support system, even found off random happenstance, can be the best thing that happens to someone.

A White Orchid Broken in the Rain

“You may not remember this, but all of us went through hell to follow your frantic steps. After you left us, when you begged for death which was given to you, we were left in the remnants of what you had done. They were only children, Wilbur, kids left bearing the transgressions of a previous generation’s decisions, something the ones after us should never have to face.”

✨c!Wilbur Soot & c!Niki Nihachu [Rain Duo]

✨11.3k W.C.

✨c!Niki Nihachu-centric

✨Emotional Hurt/Comfort & Graphic Descriptions & Canon Divergence

🎵If You Only Knew by Shinedown

She took a breath, breaking their gaze for a moment before meeting him once more. “You might not have liked any of the things that were said, but I see an element of truth in all of them. So many consequences of your decisions landed on us, the ones sworn to you. While you got death, Wilbur, we got living hell.”

Her words were harsh, her mind finally settled on anger as the words left her full lips. “I do not know how you stand here again today, but I do know every word I've heard so far is deserved. You had the unlucky experience of coming back from the dead to fill shoes stained in blood and its going to fucking suck for a while, but you must face each person you harmed before you can ever begin to feel better.”

16 notes · View notes

voguescapes · 1 year

Text

tommyinnit | among us mother

pairings. tommyinnit x fem!reader (platonic)

about. (y/n) volunteers to be tommy’s among us mother.

warnings. a little cursing, that’s basically it, lmk if i missed anything!

a/n. i made this a long time ago but i needed something to post because i keep losing followers so here you go! also i couldn’t find a gif for tommy so no gif today!

"Oh, shut up, you child!" (Y/N) screamed into her microphone over the chaotic voices in the Among Us game lobby.

"What the fuck?" Her internet friend, Tommy, whined into his mic. She could practically imagine the exasperated expression on his face. "You're a child too! What do you mean?"

Last round, he was killed first by the imposter, Quackity, so naturally, when the round ended, he decided to shout curse words and complaints nonstop.

In the last three games, Tommy had been one of the first players dead, so (Y/N) understood his frustration. But when there was an opportunity to yell at him, she was gladly going to take it. Most of these conversations end in relentless bickering, leaving Tubbo to break them apart.

She laughed along with everyone else, "Aw, do you need to be protected next round? Does Tommyinnit need a babysitter?" She mocked and made her voice high pitched to prove her point.

Philza chuckled, "Yeah, Tommy needs Jules to babysit him!"

"No, I am a big man," he said firmly. "Big men like me don't need supervision. All I need are pogchamps and primes! Am I right?"

(Y/N) made her Among Us character dance on top of Tommy's, "You don't look like a big man to me. I will be your mother and keep you safe."

He groaned, "Please, for the love of God, never fucking say that again. Don't say that to me."

The groups laughs quickly died down as the new round started. "Crewmate" flashed across the top of (Y/N)'s screen and they all spawned around the table in the cafeteria.

She immediately spotted Tommy and followed him into Admin. They both paused to swipe their keycards along with Wilbur and Niki, and while Tommy does wires, she waited behind him.

She walked behind his blue icon as he made his way into electrical. He kept stopping in the hallway, hoping she'd redirect her path away from his only to find that she was tracking his every move. The lights then went out and just as she was afraid she had lost him, a body was reported.

"Tubbo is dead in the lower engine," Wilbur says. "Whoever the imposter is, I think you were mistaken. You see, Tommy is dark blue, not yellow."

"Tommy is clear 100%!" (Y/N) called out into the mic.

"(Y/N), will you stop fucking following me?" Tommy yelled making the others burst out laughing, "You're so clingy! You're almost as bad as Tubbo."

Tubbo unmuted his microphone at the comment, "Hey!"

"Tubbo, please mute your mic," Tommy says in a serious voice until the boy sighs and goes silent again. "(Y/N), I will have no choice but to break up with you if you don't leave me alone."

"Huh? Excuse me?" Quackity yelled into his mic and everyone was too busy laughing to notice the timer was almost completely out.

Everyone ended up skipping from lack of information, but from Tommy's last comment towards (Y/N), a lot of people called him sus before they muted again.

Of course, the threat didn't stop her. With the lights still out, she followed his character towards electrical, but when they got separated for a moment, the animation of Wilbur Soot's character killing her flashed across her screen abruptly. Her body was reported almost immediately by Philza.

"Tommy," Wilbur said, his voice sounding almost accusingly.

"What, Wilbur?" He responded in a monotone voice.

"Don't you think it's a bit odd that (Y/N) is dead?" The hint of a snicker at the end of his sentence signals to (Y/N) that he knows what is about to come.

"Are you accusing me of killing my girlfriend?" Tommy roars in response.

Quackity hurry's to pitch in, "First off, she's not your girlfriend! Second, she was following you the whole time last round and now she's dead."

"Yeah, I saw Tommy with her before the lights went out," Philza added. Then, many of the crew started to vote.

At this point, Tommy was fuming, "Whatever! I can give you my entire alibi if you'd like. We were walking through storage and then the lights went out when we went into admin and then her body was-"

"We don't want to hear it, Tommy, vote him off!" Wilbur yelled.

Everyone voted and the animation of Tommy's character flies through space as he gets ejected. (Y/N) was laughing so hard that she was now clutching her sides.

(Y/N) opened up ghost chat to see Tommy had sent a message.

Tommy I fucking hate you.

(Y/N) You're welcome!!

#imagines #reader insert #afab reader #famous!reader #tommyinnit #among us #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x y/n #platonic #platonic relationships #tommyinnit x you

122 notes · View notes

loversj0y · 11 months

Text

'tis the damn season

chapter four - now im missing your smile

the final day hits you with a realization you can no longer hide from, with the combination of leaving and potentially losing him marking the day with the grim note of what feels like death row.

tis the damn season masterlist

pairing: cc!wilbur soot x gn!reader

this chapter is more angst-focused, but there is fluff as well. sad ending tho so... :)

trigger warnings: reader's mother is abusive (not physically) and father is emotionally absent. this will be talked about in extensive detail. alcohol, some suggestive themes, and a lot of anxiety, MAJOR TW FOR PANIC ATTACK

author's note: okay. we've reached the final chapter. which feels weird. i may eventually add more into this series, maybe a follow up or even some one-shots surrounding the story. i have a few in mind already actually. but yeah! i hope you enjoy! and i hope you end up as emotionally wrecked as my editor was! also i utilize a cliche in this chapter however. i dont care i love cliches in writing ao3 version is available here!

word count: 6.6k

You woke up to Wilbur singing softly. As you regained consciousness more and more, you recognized the song he was singing.

“I knew that look, dear, eyes always seeking, was there in someone that dug long ago, so I will not ask you why you were creeping, in some sad way, I already know.”

It was Hozier. Like Real People Do, to be specific. You smiled, your eyes slowly opening. He was looking up at the ceiling, a soft smile on his face, though one hand gently played with your hair. You shifted, causing him to look down at you, but instead of being startled, he kept singing.

“So I will not ask you where you came from, I would not ask and neither would you,” he gently kissed your forehead, “Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do.”

You smiled softly, leaning up to gently kiss him. “Good morning,” you whispered.

He kissed you back, holding you close, “Morning, love.”

“You were singing.” You commented quietly, and he nodded.

“Glad you noticed,” he joked. “Was just feeling sing-y this morning, I suppose.”

You smiled, leaning up a bit, “were you up singing for long?”

He pushed a strand of your hair back gently, shaking his head, “Not really. I’ve only been up for around thirty minutes, you just looked very peaceful, so I didn’t want to move and wake you.”

“That’s sweet,” you hummed, “what time is it?”

“Just past noon.”

You nodded softly. Just under eight hours left together then. You sat up slowly, but Wilbur caught your arm and pulled you back down. You chuckled softly at his warm grin, “Wilbur, we have to clean, and I need to pack.”

He hummed, “I disagree, actually. I think, if you were to look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, neither of those things falls there. However, right there, at the base, the most essential thing is actually us cuddling together and listening to some sweet, loving music together.”

You chuckled, laying your head against his chest. “Fine. But only for a bit.”

He cheered, grabbing his phone to start playing some soft love songs, all very guitar-based in their composition.

“Are you excited to go back to Brighton?” You asked quietly.

“Somewhat,” he shrugged, “It’ll be nice to be back in my place, but I’ll definitely miss being here. It’s not great being back here, but you know,” he gave you a soft smile, “there can be some hidden charms.”

You flushed lightly, nodding. “I agree. There are definitely some hidden charms.”

He chuckled, wrapping his arms loosely around you. “I know you’re not excited to go back, but are you at least excited to finish Uni?”

“Insanely.” You laughed, leaning your head against him, “The studying is interesting, but my god, I’m ready to just be done with the constant exams and tests and being told my interpretations are wrong.”

“Do you get told that often?”

“Sometimes,” You shrugged, “I have a habit of putting romance in places it doesn’t belong.”

He smiled, “Always the hopeless romantic, hm?”

“In a sense. I just find that people will try to love, even if they shouldn’t. I mean think about Shakespeare’s work. Romeo and Juliet, the classic love tragedy, but then there’s also an entire sonnet he wrote basically insulting a woman just to end it by saying he loves her. And even in Macbeth, Macbeth listens to Lady Macbeth’s sadistic urges because he loves her and trusts her. People always focus on the negatives of these stories without focusing on how much romance truly exists inside of them. People always call Lady Macbeth an insane woman, and while she is, she is loved. The story would hardly happen if she wasn’t loved.”

He hummed softly. The entire time you spoke, he looked genuinely interested. It was almost startling. You weren’t used to being taken seriously when you spoke about the things you loved to talk about. Usually, it was a faux nod and an “oh, yeah”, but Wilbur was paying full attention to each syllable. Even if he’d been doing this for the past two weeks, it still shocked you. You wondered how long it would take you to get used to this.

“I like that interpretation.” He smiled softly. “Makes things seem less bleak. More crime of passion rather than just crime.”

You chuckled softly, “Exactly. I’m not exactly an optimist, but I do find it prettier to look at things like that.”

He nodded, “It definitely is prettier. See, these are the thing I want to know more about you. Just another thing to add to my list of things I’ve memorized about you.”

“I guess so. I wouldn’t say that’s exactly part of how I perceive the world, but it is part of how I view literature, so which is a big part of my life, so.”

“Which is just the type of thing you could bring to lyrics. Some of the best lyrics are just allusions. Mostly to biblical things, but still.”

“I don’t know about lyrics, but maybe. I could give it a go at some point. I’m sure I’ll have to write a lyrical piece in one of my writing classes at some point anyway.”

“I think you would be fantastic at writing lyrics.”

“I think you’re biased.”

“I absolutely am biased.”

You laughed, burying your face against him gently. He kissed the top of your head, rubbing your back gently.

“Do you think if I convinced my band to let us write an entire song about two frogs falling in love, anyone would notice?”

You threw your head back with a loud laugh, a wide grin on your face. “With your writing prowess? Only if you wanted people to.”

“Do you think it’d make for a good song?” He snickered under his breath, clearly trying to hide his own laughter.

“Oh, absolutely,” you laughed, “you just have to give them a good story. Like maybe - maybe they live in opposite ponds, and he’s been admiring her beauty, so he starts going over to try and get to know her, but she refuses to like him, saying he’s not worth her time. But then, he comes by every day to sit there with her, a lilypad away, and eventually, they start talking. And just when he’s about to lose hope, he wakes up to find her waiting in his pond, showing how much she’s fallen for him, and that’s how they end up together.”

He smiled happily, “That’s a good story. Is it taken, I might use it?”

You hummed, “You can use it, under one condition. If you use it, you need to put one word in it, anywhere you want, but it has to be in it.”

“What word?”

You thought for a moment, trying to pull through every old scholarly vocabulary paper you’d studied. “Limerence.”

“Limerence?”

You nodded, “It’s like an obsessive crush. A crush, but all-encompassing and not entirely healthy. You have to find a way to use it without making their love seem negative.”

He hummed, “Okay. I can do that. Wish I knew that word for the E-Girl trilogy, would’ve been a good one to include.”

“I’m sorry, the what?”

He flushed, suddenly embarrassed. “It’s a bit hard to explain, okay? It’s these three songs that I have and they’re from the perspective of a simp incel type of guy who is obsessed with a streamer who he used to be in school with. It’s supposed to make fun of guys like that.”

You leaned over him, grabbing the TV remote from the side table and handing it to him. “Put it on, right now, please,” you giggled softly.

He did so begrudgingly, clearly embarrassed to show you. He played all three music videos for you, and you grinned up at him.

“Don’t be so embarrassed, they’re really cool.”

“I’m not embarrassed about the quality, it’s more about you seeing me playing a character like that.”

“Well, yes, but you’re just playing a character.”

“I know, but I’d hate to think of you seeing me like that. I care a lot about your opinion of me.”

You smiled softly, gently playing with his hair, “Don’t worry. I know how to separate you from your online persona, not to mention the art you create. I think the stuff you do is so cool. Plus, I like how goofy you are in your content and stuff, I find it quite cute.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he relaxed a bit, before speaking again, “You’ve been watching my content?”

You flushed lightly, “Mostly your VODs and such. I haven’t watched your Youtube content too much yet.”

He grinned proudly, “I’m glad you’ve been enjoying it.” He snickered softly before speaking again as if telling a private joke, “Have you checked if you’re subscribed? You know, most people don’t know that there’s a glitch on Youtube that unsubscribes you, so you should really double check.” He broke into laughter as he finished, and you rolled your eyes, kissing him.

“With jokes like that, you should be lucky I haven’t purposefully unsubscribed yet.”

He gasped in mock horror, “How could you? When- when subscribing is completely free?”

You both fell into laughter, holding each other close. You continued talking for a long while, trying to absorb as much of each other as you could. You had one thought that you simply couldn’t push out of your brain, it kept coming back every other moment. Today feels like an apocalypse. It was a thought that perplexed you, because you understood it without fully divulging it’s meaning. It more accurately felt like the moment before the apocalypse, where everything seems peaceful. Most people speaking about tragic events always talk about a warning feeling in their chest, but you didn’t feel that. And while it should have been comforting, you already knew what was coming, the tragedy of leaving him was not an unsuspecting one you had to rely on intuition to prepare for. It was something that you were aware of, something you knew was coming regardless of how much you wished for it to not. You could hear the clock counting you down in your head. Every second. Tick. Tock. It made you feel a bit insane. Tick. Tock. To have this constant awareness of the passage of time, counting down your seconds to leaving him. Tick. Tock. It felt like a death march. Tick tock. It felt like an execution. Tick tock. It felt like the end.

Wilbur’s voice pulled you out of your head this time. He hadn’t noticed your descent into madness, staring at the ceiling and thinking himself. You wondered if the clock was ticking in his head as well. Even if it was, his demeanor for the time being seemed much more positive than your own. “What should we do when you visit Brighton for the first time?”

“Hm, I’m not sure. What could we do?”

He smiled, “We could go walking about the lanes, there’s a lot of nice shops there. I could take you to my band rehearsal, as well. You could meet Tommy and some of my other friends in person as well. We could go on the i360, and get a nice view. We should go to the beach, too. Wait until night so we get some privacy as well. We could swim, too, but we don’t have to. Depends on when you visit. But the beach we definitely have to visit.”

“That all sounds really lovely. Especially the beach. I can’t remember the last time I was able to stare out at the water.”

He smiled, “It’s settled then. We can’t do everything all at once, though, obviously. We have to save some things for each time you come to visit.”

“Oh, of course. We take it bit by bit. Though, I’d like to go to your band rehearsals every time if possible. If not, maybe then I’ll hang out with Tommy or something.”

He chuckled, “Okay, that’s a deal, then.” His voice drowned out the ticking, you noted to yourself with a smile.

You sat up slowly, “How long have we been here?”

He grabbed his phone, checking the time, “it’s 2:30,” he sighed.

You stood, and this time he knew that he wouldn’t be able to convince you to stay longer. The ticking was faster and louder now. Ticktock, Ticktock, Ticktock. “We have to be at the station by 8:30, and the station is twenty minutes away, but because of traffic, we’ll probably be better off leaving at 8.” Five and a half hours left. “Right, let me change and finish packing first.”

He sat up while you changed, standing slowly and stretching. He pulled out his jumper from your bag, handing it to you. “You should wear it. On the train.”

You smiled softly at him, pulling it on. Once you did so, you grabbed your phone, and he watched as you sent him a quick text of just a smiley face. You looked back up at him, “Just making good on our deal.”

He smiled, leaning forward and kissing you gently. You leaned into the kiss, holding onto his arms lightly. It was a delicate kiss, both of you seemingly feeling as though anything more than that could shatter the atmosphere. He placed a kiss on top of your head as well, before slowly pulling away. Neither of you said anything. Neither of you really needed to, you both knew what you were feeling. The mixed sense of dread and grief for something you haven’t lost yet, the feeling of knowing you have to leave something wonderful behind, the mourning of time passing. He helped you to finish packing your things, and together, you both brought your luggage downstairs, just to keep it at the door for later. Part of you felt bad knowing you couldn’t give him something like he’d given you his jumper. Your clothes wouldn’t fit him, and you didn’t have much else. After a moment, it came to you, but you decided you wanted to wait to give it to him.

He went to the kitchen, starting to clean up the dishes from the past few days, some of them needing to be cleaned and some just to be put away. While he did that, you focused on cleaning up some of the trash from the living room, such as some takeout and drink containers. You also made an effort to clean up the New Year’s decorations, and if a few of the stars he’d made were slipped into your bag, you were definitely none the wiser. The cleaning was mostly a quiet affair, Wilbur’s playlist was still playing softly from a speaker. You could hear him singing along occasionally, and it warmed your heart every time. When you’d finished taking all the trash out, you walked over behind him, arms wrapping around him. He smiled, taking some bubbles from the washing liquid and putting them on your hand gently. You chuckled softly, moving your hand up to blow the bubbles off. You pulled away from him, and he turned around. He took your hand, spinning you in a circle to the music. You chuckled, and before you knew it, the two of you were dancing around the kitchen to the music. You grinned wider with each step, and he kept a hand placed on your lower back. You moved in slow circles around the kitchen, eventually coming to one place and just swaying together with the music.

“Look at me,” he spoke softly after a minute, and you did, slowly looking up to meet his gaze.

He smiled lovingly, just observing your face for a moment.

“What are you doing?” You spoke up.

He smiled fondly, “Making sure I’ve committed you to memory.”

You flushed, reaching up to touch his face, “I love you.”

You watched and felt as his face lit into a grin, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way you could only describe as endearing. Every time you said those words it felt like a wave of relief washing over you.

“I love you too,” he kissed you lovingly, that grin never leaving his face. You kissed him back, and you knew you shared a similar grin. Neither of you wanted to pull away, the sheer amount of love being shared filling the both of you up entirely.

Wilbur did eventually pull away for air. He panted quietly for a moment, still staring down at you, before taking a look around the room. The place looked like there was no trace of you or Will ever existing there. It almost felt like a movie set rather than a real place now, with a lack of life throughout the room. It was still his parent’s place, but it didn’t feel real anymore. It was honestly chilling to look at. Wilbur seemed to feel it too.

“We’ve still got about three hours. Want to go eat out somewhere?”

You both decided to walk to the main street. It was colder today, but, hand-in-hand, neither of us really seemed to notice. There weren’t many dining places open on New Year’s Day, especially not in a small town like this, but there was one place that was pretty much always open. It was a family-run restaurant, having been run for generations before you or Wilbur were born. It was a nice place, a bit run-down, but that wasn’t exactly any different from most of the places here. The family was always kind to you and Wilbur, letting you both hide out here sometimes after school in exchange for helping them clean up. Wilbur opened the door for you, and you both walked in. The place was empty, but it still had a warm atmosphere. There was a gasp, and you both turned in the direction of the sound. Wilbur pulled his hand away from yours, almost involuntarily, but he held your hand once again when he saw the source of the gasp.

“My goodness, my eyes must deceive me!” Liza, known more correctly as Mrs. Liza by all the younger kids in town, was one of the owners. She was an older lady, probably approaching her mid-sixties now, and her husband, Albert, was one of the owners as well, though he primarily worked in the back of house. Mrs. Liza was always especially kind to you, knowing your situation, and she even hired you for a bit in high school to help out during the busy seasons. She walked over to you and Wilbur, a wide grin on her face as she pulled you both in for hugs.

“Hi, Mrs. Liza,” you and Wilbur both said in unison.

“You’ve both grown so much. I can’t believe it, it’s only been four years!” You chuckled as you hugged her back, a wide smile on your face.

She pulled Wilbur in for a hug next before pulling back to get a good look at the both of you. After a moment, she gave a knowing smile at the both of you.

“Now, would you look at this? I predicted many years ago the two of you would’ve gotten together, I knew it, I told Albert, you give those kids some time, and they’ll be together soon enough. How long have you been married?”

You flushed, and Wilbur chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with a faint blush on his cheeks as well. “We’re not, actually. We just got together.”

She looked genuinely shocked, scoffing a bit, “What is this then? Is this your first date?”

You shook your head, still somewhat embarrassed, “We had a date last night at Wilbur’s place.”

She nodded, tutting softly, “Well, then, take a seat anywhere you’d like. We’ll make this a proper date. I’ll let Albert know the news, and he’ll prepare something extra special for you both.”

“Oh, you don’t have to–”

“Hush with that, dearie, just take a seat. We’ve got this covered.”

Wilbur looked back at you. “Back corner?”

You nodded softly. The back corner booth was always your and Wilbur’s spot back in school. The number of hours you would spend sitting there, whether you were studying or you were both ranting about how much you hated your classmates. You followed him, and sitting in that booth felt more like being home than being in your parent’s house ever did.

“God, the conversations we’ve had here,” you hummed softly.

He laughed, “Yeah. The number of times I’d just stare at you while you rambled on. There were so many times you would ask for my opinion on something, and I’d have to scramble for an answer because I was just so focused on how pretty you looked, especially when the sun started to set. The light would always hit your face at this perfect angle.”

You flushed softly, “How did I never notice?”

“I always made sure you were distracted,” he chuckled softly, “I’d get you started on some topic just to listen to you talk.”

“Is that why you asked me so many questions about the professors I hated?”

He laughed, “Yeah. I knew why you hated them, I just always acted like I didn’t so you’d start talking, and I could listen and admire you.”

You looked down shyly, focusing on a chipped piece of wood on the table. You still weren’t used to his compliments.

“Is that why you’d walk me home all the time too?”

He hummed, “No. I also just like your company. As much as I’ve always crushed over you, you always were and will be my best friend first.”

You looked back up at him, a sweet smile on your face. “I know what you mean. I’ll always have loved you as my best friend before loving you as my…” you faltered. You and Wilbur hadn’t exactly put a name to what it is you’d been doing. You both seemed to consider each other as being together, but you couldn’t say exactly what it is you were. You couldn’t necessarily say he was your boyfriend, not only had that not been asked or decided, but you were leaving in under three hours, so it wasn’t like you could claim those titles. But you also couldn’t just say a friend, you were both far more than that. Even friends with benefits wasn’t correct, you guys had emotional involvements, so that wouldn’t work. Wilbur seemed just as conflicted as you, thankfully, but you didn’t have a chance to talk about it as Mrs. Liza came back with a bottle of wine and a basket of bread.

“Just something to start you off properly. Albert is making your food right now. Wilbur, I remember you can’t taste quite well, so Albert is making sure none of the textures are ones you don’t like, alright?”

Wilbur smiled fondly at her, nodding, “thank you, really.”

She smiled happily, grabbing two wine glasses and pouring you guys both a glass.

“This is really too kind, Mrs. Liza,” you chuckled softly.

She tutted at you, lightly flicking your forehead, “Nonsense, dearie. I’ve watched you two grow up, it’d be wrong of me to make sure you two aren’t having a wonderful time. I knew that you’d end up together at some point, I’d tell Albert every day how much you both reminded me of him and me. That’s also why this is the same wine he and I shared on our first proper date. He got me rather drunk, he did, but my goodness, it was worth it to see how much he already cared about me. A real gentleman, he is, just like you, William, I’d hope.” She chuckled softly.

Wilbur flushed, smiling appreciatively at her. “Of course. I try my best.”

She smiled happily, “Well, I’ll leave you two alone now to bond.”

She shuffled back to the kitchen with a soft smile.

Wilbur picked up his wine glass, taking a look at the bottle for a moment, “Wow. This is… fancy. A cabernet sauvingnon, from France too.”

You nodded, picking up my wine glass. “Guess they really believe in us.” You chuckled softly.

He sat up a bit straighter, holding his glass up in a toast. “To our future.”

You smiled fondly, “To our future.”

Ticktock, ticktock, ticktock.

Mrs. Liza brought out your food, some nice home-cooking style food that felt familiar to both you and Wilbur. Albert ended up coming out as well, giving you both big hugs and wishing you both the best. You both finished eating, as well as finishing the wine which was fantastic. You both went to pay, but Mrs. Liza refused to accept the payment. Even so, you and Wilbur both left about fifty pounds cash on the table for them, feeling too guilty about leaving without at least paying something.

You walked back to Wilbur’s place, and you both were quieter as you became more and more aware that it was time. You grabbed your luggage and lifted it into Wilbur’s car, and you drove off to the train station. The drive was quiet, but you both held each other’s hands like a lifeline.

He parked at the train station, and you checked the time. It was 8:03 P.M. exactly. The ticking felt overwhelming now, and even Wilbur’s presence wasn’t helping. Ticktockticktockticktock. You started to feel your breathing pick up a bit. Ticktockticktockticktock. You guys were early, at least. Ticktockticktockticktock. That at least eased your anxieties about being late. Ticktockticktockticktock. Maybe you could just sit here. Ticktockticktockticktock. Maybe you could just stay. Ticktockticktockticktock. Maybe you could just stay here with him and everything would be perfectly fine. Ticktockticktockticktock.

“-ey! Hey!’ Wilbur’s voice just barely cut through the ticking. You looked over at him, but you didn’t really see him. There was a faraway look in your eyes, unable to focus on anything. He held your hand tighter, gently moving your hand to place it on his chest, giving you something more tangible and solid to feel.

“Starlight, look at me, tell me, what’s something you can see right now?”

You wanted to reply. You could see him. But you couldn’t get the words out. You tried tapping on his shoulder gently, but your fingers were already trembling to the point where he couldn’t tell.

“Okay,” he sighed frantically, “that’s not going to work.” He started overexaggerating the slow pace of his breathing, never once taking his eyes off of you. “You’re okay, you’re in the car with just me, we’re safe, we’re just here together, relaxing.” He repeated these affirmations until your breathing was slightly more controlled.

He tried asking again, “What’s something you can see?”

Your words still wouldn’t come out, but you were able to tap him successfully this time. “Me? Okay, okay, tap once for yes, and twice for no, okay?”

You tapped once.

“Do you want a hug?”

Two taps. That would just make it harder to ground yourself.

He nodded, “Is the breathing helping?”

One tap.

He nodded again, being even more specific in his slow breathing.

“Alright, darling, I know you can’t say it aloud, so don’t worry about that, but I want you to find two things you can hear. Tap me three times when you have.”

His voice. Soft music came through his speaker. Three taps.

“Alright, very good, darling, you’re doing amazing. Now, same thing this time except, other than me, find me four more things you can see.”

The steering wheel. The buttons on the car radio. The flaked leather of the center console. The small Capybara keychain on Wilbur’s keys. Three taps.

This time, you found your voice again, “I- I think I’m good.”

Wilbur let out a relieved sigh, nodding. He didn’t stop his slow breathing, though. He gently reached over, taking your other hand and holding it gently. It took a few minutes before you really felt like you returned to yourself, and you took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” you spoke softly.

He frowned, squeezing your hand gently, “Don’t apologize. Do you want to talk about it?”

You groaned a bit but nodded. As much as you hated it, you did know talking it out would help, “I feel… like I’m about to walk the gallows.”

He gave you a look, beckoning you to elaborate.

“It’s just… ever since I woke up this morning, I’ve just heard this clock in my brain ticking faster and faster until the train. It’s just felt so overwhelming, you know? Today entirely felt like a death march all leading up to this. And now… the idea of getting on that train feels so impossible, but I know that I have to. I feel suffocated by it. The obligation and the uncertainty. I want nothing more than to just remain here with you because I’m happy with you, but I know that I’ve put so much into my education and that I’m almost done, so I can’t just abandon it all. And I feel like for all we’ve talked about, nothing was truly settled, so I just feel like I’m walking to my death, that I’m going to get on that train and everything is going to change. I won’t be able to keep up, and everything is just going to get worse.”

He frowned, nodding quietly. He looked at a loss for words.

He spoke after a moment, “Some things are going to change when you leave. We won’t be cuddling in my old bedroom anymore, and we won’t get to see each other every day. But nothing else has to change. I know we… haven’t really defined ‘us’, but whatever it is we’re doing, we can continue. I know you’re worried about being busy, but as long as you try, we can make it through this. As far as school, we could try and find small things to make it a bit easier. Maybe we can try and find you a better place in London. I know it won’t fix things, but it could help. You spent years here holding on for something better. You can do a year, I know you can.”

You sighed softly. You knew he was right, but fuck if it didn’t annoy you how easy it was for him to soothe 75% of your anxieties.

He spoke up again, speaking sardonically, “You know, it’s almost funny. You dealt with so much in this place for so long that London became an escape. Now it’s backward. Now you’re trying to use this place to escape London”

You hummed softly, letting out a chuckle, “I wouldn’t say this place is my escape.” You looked up at him, looking into his eyes.

He flushed lightly, squeezing your hand a bit tighter. You knew he understood. He always understood.

“You’re serious that nothing has to change?”

He smiled, giving your hand a gentle kiss, “Nothing that we can control. Though, we do have to talk further about the whole Twitch thing.”

“We still have,” you checked the time. 8:23. “Like 10 minutes.”

He nodded, “Well, there’s a lot we’ll have to go into, so we can’t talk about all of it now, but… some people online are pretty invasive. They’ll try to find information out about you. If they see your face, they might try to go up to you in public or stuff. Most of them mean well, but some of them don’t realize when they’re being invasive. I’m just worried about your privacy and your safety.”

“Wilbur, I barely have an online presence. The most they could probably do is find me in our old yearbooks.”

“I mean, we don’t know that. I’m just worried they might try and be mean to you or treat you badly.”

You smiled lightly. It was reassuring to see how much he cared about your well-being. “I understand the risks. But truthfully, I think it may be the least of our worries. They don’t know what I look like, and they don’t know my name, and they don’t know we’re romantically involved. We’re safe for now, at least, and then, later on, we can discuss letting them know and such.”

He nodded softly, gently pressing a kiss onto my hand, “Alright.”

You gently moved a bit of his hair out of his eyes, “I really don’t want to go,” you whispered with a soft sigh.

He frowned, holding your hand to his cheek, “I’d follow you if I could. The first chance I have to visit, I’ll be right there, bearing the smog and crowds.”

“You’d do all that just for me?”

“I’d deal with a lot worse for you.”

You gently stroked your thumb over his cheek, sighing shakily. “God, this fucking hurts.”

He chuckled softly, “Always a way with words.”

You rolled your eyes a bit, racking your brain for some higher-level words, “I don’t need eloquence to describe the pain of leaving you. My love is simplistic and so shall my words be. The strongest pain is that which can only be described in the most uncomplicated terminology.”

He chuckled softly, “Really putting that English degree to good use, hm?”

You laughed, lightly hitting his arm, “You dick.”

“It’s a lot of big words, that’s all,” he laughed, gently squeezing your hands, “you could be using that soon-to-be degree for some really cool things, don’t forget that.”

“I know. Trust me, I won’t forget.”

“Good. Because I will be bringing a horde of people to your graduation that you could work for.”

“Oh, god,”

“I’ll have an entire group of people cheering just for you and embarrassing you.”

“Do not, oh, god. At least wait until after the graduation when I pack all my things and hide in your apartment for two weeks.”

He grinned at that, perking up a bit, “So, what I’m hearing is, your graduation party will be at my apartment?”

“I wasn’t planning on having one, but I guess I’ll have some free time after graduation while I search for jobs, so… if you want to hold me one, I’d much rather spend it with you than people who only care about me as an academic reference.”

He threw his arms up in celebration, cheering, “I’m going to start planning now. I’ll make it a perfect sort of homecoming celebration.”

“Homecoming?” You gave him a coy smile.

He didn’t even blush, speaking with full confidence, “You’re my home too. I’ll always celebrate you coming back to me.”

Tears welled in your eyes with those words. “Fuck,” you cursed softly, “damn you and your amazing way with words.” you leaned up, pulling him in for a long, loving kiss.

He chuckled lightly into the kiss, but he kissed you back with just as much warmth and love. The kiss took over everything; you were barely aware of your own bones because of just how much this kiss took over your whole being.

He pulled away slowly, gently placing a hand on your cheek. He took a slow, shaky breath. He didn’t want to speak. But he had to. “Love… it’s time.”

We both got out of the car. He got my suitcase out from the trunk while you pulled your backpack on. He placed a hand on the small of your back underneath the bag, and he slowly walked us into the train station.

“You have your ticket already?”

You nodded softly. It was in your wallet. He continued to walk to two of you to the train line, and once you were there, he stood in front of you. Neither of you knew what to do for a solid moment before Wilbur reached over, pulling you in for a tight hug. You hugged him back desperately, a shaky breath leaving you.

“Don’t- don’t go ghost on me, okay? I can’t handle losing you again.”

You nodded quickly, holding onto him tightly, “Just be patient with me. I don’t want to lose you because one of us did something stupid again.”

As you spoke, you leaned out of the hug to take his hand. You gently slipped a bracelet onto his wrist. It was an old one, a simple leather cord with silver beading. You wore it every day, and in school, you were convinced it gave you good luck. While you didn’t believe much in luck these days, the bracelet still meant a lot to you, and Wilbur knew that.

He nodded as well, “Okay. I can do that.” He looked down at the bracelet, tearing up as he saw it. “You don’t have to-”

“I know,” you gently squeezed his hand, “I just want you to have something of me.” He nodded, pulling you into a tight hug once more, and his breathing seemed to be just as shaky as your own.

It was time to start getting on the train, but you were going to make every last second count. You had tears in your eyes as you pulled out of the hug just enough to look up at him.

You placed a hand on his cheek, taking a shaky sigh before speaking, “you made this the best two weeks I’ve ever had.”

The tears in my eyes began to fall, and he wasn’t far behind as he pulled you in for a desperate kiss. If the kiss earlier took over your whole being, this one took over the whole world. In this moment, he was your whole world, the only thing that mattered. Time didn’t pass in this mental void you two remained in, it was just you and him.

It couldn’t last. You pulled apart as the deadline continued to close in.

“I love you so, so much,” He whispered, tears falling slowly down his cheeks.

“I love you too, Will,” you sobbed out, arms refusing to let go of him.

“Darling, you have to go,” he reminded you, his voice cracking as he spoke.

You nodded, weakly and reluctantly pulling away from him. He quickly leaned in to give you another loving kiss, this one much faster.

You exchanged the final “I love you”s before you trudged onto the train.

…

Fuck.

You felt like a cleaver had come across your neck, only leaving the tiniest part hanging on. You knew this would hurt, but openly sobbing on public transit is a new low. The only upside was that, with this being a night train, you wouldn’t be bothered as you sat in your own sadness. You went to find a seat, sitting by a window. You could see Wilbur. He seemed to be holding it together a bit better, his eyes scanning as he searched for you in the window. You already found yourself missing his smile. He made eye contact, giving you a wave. You waved back, but it felt half-hearted. Without him next to you, you could feel all the uncertainty around your relationship, and the future start to bubble back up. He said nothing would change. He said you would be visiting each other. You just didn’t know if that was true. You were busy and so was he. You have already drifted apart from every other person in your life because of your harsh schedule… how would this actually be any different? Not to say you were planning on giving up, but you had to be a realist. Something would pull you apart. You couldn’t handle any personal relationships, your classwork and actual work never gave you a moment of freedom. You weren’t going to give up, you would try, you really would. But as the train pulled away, and you and Wilbur gave each other a final wave, you left behind a kind fantasy of the only person who felt like home and headed towards uncertainty.

taglist: @shubblelive / @superioritycomplexes / @your-shifting-gurl (send an ask/dm me if you want to be added)

#wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot #mcyt x reader #dsmp x reader #mar writes #wilbur x reader #tis the damn season au #mcyt x you #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot fanfiction #mcytumblr #mcyt wilbur

60 notes · View notes

streaminn · 10 months

Text

BARGING IN WITH MORE SONG THOUGHTS, EXCEPT I EXPLAIN WHY WITH EVERY LYRIC THAT FITS

Losing face by wilbur soot fits bodyguard enid when she realizes that wednesday actually has -had tbh, enid just doesn't know that- something with joel >:)

Oh, let it be said, my dear I was gonna wait for you So this is not an act of spite It's a visceral coming-to

reference to how long enid has been longing and when she sees them, she realizes that she literally wasted years doing this because in the end even if there was a slim chance that wednesday and her could've been something; that possibility has already left

Tonight, I'm fucking drunk So it's all gonna be about me Take a seat, pull up a chair Give me one beat to fill my glass I've lost a piece of me in you

possible relapse to enid getting back into drinking?! most likely. It doesn't help, it never does but if Enid can excuse the burn from her throat to be alcohol instead of the choking sob that wishes to escape then she'll take it

Is he better than me? Has he seen more to this life? Can he smoke more?

enid generally wondering just what is she doing wrong. was she too happy? most likely. Is he richer? was money the issue? maybe the social class is too grand, maybe Enid could've never stood in equal footing in the first place. She's just desperately grasping at straws and trying to understand

Can he break me? Can he break you? Oh, I don't know what I'm to do Yes, I don't know what I'll fuckin' do

enid wondering what can she even do with this information. Sure, there's the protectiveness of hoping that he's a good match but what about her? What about Enid? Wednesday most likely already has a man and Enid is left the same as always, stagnant and wishing to drown.

She knows that when this trial ends and she doesn't get the job, she wouldn't learn a damn thing. All she got out of it is meaningless cash and a reminder that some things aren't meant to be

I've seen him I've been him I've felt the same way But now I break against the dirt

reference to in the 2nd chap where its shown that joel clearly has obvious feelings. She sees how he lights up when Wednesday even glances at him and it hurts, because she's the same. Its like looking at a mirror and Enid hasn't looked at mirrors in forever. Its bitter and never has she ever wanted to deck something as hard as then.

I've lost all meaning I've lost my sense of hope I've seen him going out with you I've seen what he can do

Here's the thing, Enid is a professional. She has taken up being a bodyguard because it means she can protect and Joel? He protects well. He's practically perfect! and Enid can't hate him, no matter how hard she wants too. He's a good guy and it makes the churning of distaste in her stomach all the more suffocating because he's so obviously the better choice.

I don't care, I want you here As long as you're happy, I don't care

Enid is selfish, she's needy and she craves for a person that isn't hers in the first place. But as she downs that last drink, she'll close her eyes and remember that in the end, that doesn't matter. What she feels doesn't matter because even if she's jealous, even if she wishes to be by her side-

It doesn't matter, not when Wednesday is happy and that's all Enid has ever wanted.

To see the woman she loves happy even if she isn't the cause.

anyways, tell me if you want more of these bc i like doing this >:)

#enid sinclair #bodyguard enid au #song thoughts #Wenclair

43 notes · View notes

itsfeckinwimdy · 2 years

Text

*HONK*

c!Karlnapity x Reader (Romantic) (Soulmate au)

Reader Pronouns: They/Them

Summary: The quartet are soulmates and need help finding their way back to each other. What's better to help them than the Soulmate Goose Of Enforcement?

Warnings: Duck hybrid Quackity, Blaze hybrid (blazeborn) Sapnap, DSMP family canon, Y/n is Phil's kid and Wilbur sibling, angst, mentions of fighting, mention of war, mentions of exile, mention of previous death, ambiguous/open ending, and finally unconscious people who don't want tea.

Word Count: 5.3K (5379 words)

DSMP Masterlist

Published: 22/10/2022

(started writing: 29/05/2021, yes it has taken me over a year to finish this)

Everyone had a soulmate. Sometimes it was easier to find them and be with them. Other times it was more complex and took a bit of time for everything to fall in place.

At least, that's what Karl told himself. But if he was being truthful, it was partly his fault.

The brunette kept hiding secrets from the people he loved. He claimed it was to protect them and that he would tell them if they needed to know, but honestly, he was scared. He was scared his partners, well now ex-partners, would judge him, and that if he told someone about his memory problems it would only worsen. That he would have to face reality, that he would have to stop time travelling, that he would have to stop trying to find a way to fix everything, that he would have to stop before he lost all his memory. Before he lost his partners. His soulmates.

But a part of him knew it was too late.

The night before the Pogtopita-Manberg war, the four had holed themselves up inside George's castle, knowing that two of them would be fighting against the other two in the morning. It was something the four of them were trying not to think about, knowing there was a chance that any of them could be getting injured or losing a canon life.

The entirety of the quartet was tired. Quackity's wings were killing him from being buried under his shirt all day, Sapnap was itching to set something on fire, Karl was fidgety with nerves as he didn't want to fight tomorrow, in fact, none of them really did, and Y/n was cold from their bath they had taken to strip all of the soot and grime from their skin, due to Pogtopia not having the best living conditions.

Y/n's brother, Wilbur, and themself were the cause of all this mess. The two of them teamed up once he arrived on the server to cause chaos but ultimately made a power grab and created L'Manberg from a simple drug van and the shared thoughts and beliefs of others.

But then they lost it.

That caused the new leader to exile Y/n, Wilbur, and the teenager, Tommy, who looked up to Y/n and Wilbur as older sibling figures, knowing the three would fight for their country back, even if they no longer had any jurisdiction over it.

This led to them fleeing, Wilbur losing a canon life along the way as he dived in front of Y/n after Punz attempted to shoot his younger sibling. That night Punz feared for his life after Sapnap threatened to kill him if he ever tried to hurt his partner again.

After setting up base in an abandoned ravine, their dad's old friend Technoblade joined them, promising to help destroy the government.

Whilst planning for this upcoming war and having Tubbo as a spy, for which he, unfortunately, got executed, Y/n would try to spend as much time with their partners, that being difficult to do so as two of them lived in L'Manberg and Quackity was forced to work ridiculous hours for the drunken president.

Therefore, the castle became a safe haven for the four.

This led to Y/n spending most nights closer to the impending day of the war there. They were glad they could sleep in a proper bed with the people they loved, and that they got to have a break from the bickering between Wilbur and Tommy.

Noticing Karl fighting the urge to get up and start pacing again, Y/n shuffled closer to Sapnap, letting the blazeborn's naturally high body temperature warm them up, and they wrapped their arms around Karl's midsection, pulling him into their torso.

Reaching forwards, they managed to get Quackity to join to cuddle pile, Sapnap wrapping his arms around the three of them, or at least trying to.

That night, the four made a promise to always stick by each other's side and to never let each other go. To always talk and resolve problems and that they would be truthful to each other. After all, they were now fiancées.

As they made this promise, the sound of an achievement rang through their communicators.

'The Soulmate Bond' it simply read.

That night they knew it was meant to be.

But then again, that wasn't the right saying on this server. What was it again?

Oh yeah,

It was never meant to be.

Sapnap was worried. And he had every right to be.

First, it was Y/n. After the death of their brother, they had started to pull away from the other three, becoming seemingly distant and only really there at night to sleep, disappearing for hours on end.

Quackity had followed them one day only to find them sitting overlooking a cliff. Apparently, it was where Y/n first took Wilbur on the server, where the two saw their first sunset together. Y/n would sit there as the hours would pass, watching the point on the compass spin, it no longer pointing to their bother. They began to snap back into their old self after Quackity sat with them, becoming who they used to be but more willing to fight.

Then Tommy got exiled. Sapnap and Karl believed they already knew, therefore not bringing it up, and Quackity simply didn't tell them. That sparked one of the biggest arguments they had ever had.

Y/n stayed with Phil that night.

Everything seemed fine for a while, with Y/n coming back home and then the quartet creating Cedar Rapids. And then Ghostbur came back, making it easier for Y/n to move on. Everyone was happy.

But then came the butcher army. Y/n refused to let their dad be pushed around and stepped in, earning themselves house arrest, by orders of Quackity.

That night they left. Sapnap remembers the conversation he had with them before they went. It was seemingly normal, Y/n saying they were staying with Phil for a few days. Except they didn't.

It was two weeks later they returned, hearing that Technoblade had killed Quackity. They helped the stubborn duck with his recovery. The blazeborn remembers the amount of shouting and the arguments that happened that week.

Looking back, he should've stepped in more. But he couldn't have known what was going through Y/n's mind at the time.

See Y/n was planning to blow up L'Manberg again. To finish their brother's job. They had realised how corrupt it had become, now wanting to get rid of the power the people who ran it had.

Sapnap should've seen it coming.

After doomsday, there was the final argument. Tensions were still high, and Quackity still couldn't see why Y/n chose to blow it up. Why Y/n would choose the side of Technoblade. The side of Dream. They explained why though. How L'Manberg was originally a power grab. How it was their idea to blow it up in the first place and that they were just finishing what that had started.

Sapnap should've stopped the fight. He should've stopped it before the words tumbled out of Quackity's mouth, before Y/n and Quackity exploded on each other, before Y/n walked away for what he thought was good.

Everyone's heart broke a bit that night.

Second, it was Karl. He started to disappear for a few days at a time, and when he returned? It was like his brain was scattered, and then he'd started to forget stuff.

At the time Sap had chalked it down to Karl's already bad memory, to his forgetful nature that his fiancée had. It began as small things. Karl forgot what day it was, where he left his book, what time he was meant to be at a certain place, and whether or not he had a meeting with the rest of Manberg's cabinet that day. But then It got worse.

Looking back, Sapnap realised that there were some days when Karl wouldn't say his or their partner's names until someone else said them. He had just thought Karl was messing around at the time, him just being cute and just wanting to call them by pet names but looking back at it, he should've realised sooner.

He should've realised when Karl came up with the idea of creating a new place to live, Kinoko Kingdom, because he said Cedar Rapids held no significate importance to him. Before he said it held no real value and that it was just where he lived because Sapnap lived there. Not because Sapnap, Quackity, and Y/n lived there, but because Sapnap lived there.

He should've realised before Karl completely shut him out. Before Karl would hole himself up in his library which he was forbidden from going in. Before Karl would forget him completely and call him by a stranger's name.

He should've helped Karl sooner. His heart cracked again.

Third, it was Quackity.

See the duck hybrid was stubborn, there was no denying that. Sapnap learnt this early on. If Quackity had his mind set on doing something, then there was a small chance, a very minuscule chance at that, of getting him to change his mind, the chance decreasing if Quackity was the one with the power to do what he wanted to do.

One morning, Sapnap had woken up alone. Karl had gone off again, who knows where, Y/n had just left maybe four days ago, and now Quackity had disappeared.

It stayed like that for a month. Quackity and Y/n were nowhere to be found. Karl occasionally disappeared and returned with his memory shot. Sapnap, probably wouldn't have minded so much if Quackity had told him where he was going, but after another month of no contact?

His heart broke again.

And the worse thing was? Karl had no idea what Quackity or Y/n meant to all of them.

And Finally, it was himself.

He could feel himself slipping away. With Karl coming and going, and no word from either Y/n or Quackity, Sapnap was stuck.

It wasn't like he had anyone to go to. His brother was locked away in a heavily armed prison, rightfully so; his Aunt Puffy was busy trying to deal with the fact one of her sons was locked up and also trying to solve this problem with the egg; his dad had been possessed by said egg, and was currently trying to take over the server; and his best friend was in some sort of deep sleep, only occasionally waking up.

He didn't know how much longer he could be there for Karl. As much as it broke him to ever think about leaving the Jacobs boy, he didn't know if it was worth it anymore, not without his partners. His first love and his third.

He didn't know how he could continue like this.

About a month after the fight, Y/n wanted to go back. Even if everything wouldn't go back to normal, they still wanted to see them, to check that they were doing okay. Because if their partners, well ex-partners were okay, then they'd be okay.

Or at least that's what they kept telling themselves.

The day they went to leave, Y/n climbed down the ladder leading to their room, only to be met with their dad, Philza, in the main room. As they made their way towards the front door and began to pull their cloak on, he stopped them.

"What are you doing?" he asked, nursing the warm mug between his hands.

Y/n sighed, not wanting to have this conversation with their dad but knowing he wouldn't let him go without telling him first, "I'm heading to Cedar Rapids, why? Is something wrong?"

Phil's face fell slightly, "There's a blizzard. You won't be able to make it Y/n."

Y/n's face dropped, and their heart sank in their chest, "How long will it last?"

They hoped it wouldn't be more than a few days at most, however, they were wrong. They ended up spending the next month trapped in the Arctic, unable to get to where they needed to. Unable to apologise for the shit they said.

The day they were finally able to get to Cedar Rapids, it was empty. The land was barren, but the buildings still standing. Their shared house was empty of the majority of everyone's belongings, only a few of theirs and Quackitys left behind.

Where was everyone?

As they stumbled out of the house, tears trying not to fall from their eyes they hit a solid object. Their hands came up to steady themselves, something grabbing onto their biceps. Looking up they saw the face of one of their fiancées.

Pulling back from their grip, Y/n wiped away their tears, wrapping the arms around their torso curling in on themselves. Their fiancée's wings drooped in response and his arms dropped to his sides. The two noticed the obvious distance between them, both physically and emotionally.

Choosing to break the silence between them, Y/n spoke up, "Hey."

Quackity stood still, having an internal malfunction. He was trying not to say anything he didn't want to say, not wanting to screw up again. His wings tightened up behind him, the slits in his shirt allowing his wings to come through, as he stood defensively. His instincts were screaming at him to comfort Y/n.

"Hey."

Looking up at the duck hybrid, Y/n locked eyes with his, and anyone could practically see the awkwardness between the two.

"So, uh," Y/n began, eyes still locked with his, "How are you?"

Quackity's wings fluttered slightly, "I'm alright I guess?"

His response came out as a sort of question, confusing Y/n slightly but they choose not to question it.

"How're the others?"

Quackity paused and Y/n could see them visible tense and him trying to form an answer but not knowing what to say.

"Quackity?" Y/n began, taking a step closer to him, "What happened?"

Hopping through the nether portal, Y/n grabbed a bunch of snow and hurled it at the goose that was following them, it letting out an exasperated honk and flapping its wings in annoyance. They stood up letting out curse words at the animal, beginning their trek back to their shared home. The white feathered animal biting against Y/n’s cloak and pants, attempting to pull the human back towards the nether portal.

The door slammed shut as Y/n walked through it, shrugging off the snow that had landed on their cloak. It felt like their ears were ringing, their mind spinning even though they could see clearly.

"What do you mean you left?"

"I did exactly what they did. What you did-"

Phil looked concerned at them, wondering what had happened, as his kid nonchalantly discarded their cloak and bag.

"What do you mean by that, Q? Where's Sapnap and Karl anyway, shouldn't they be around?"

"Well I wouldn't know, I came back one day to get them only to find they had disappeared along with all their stuff and most of ours."

"What do you mean disappeared?"

Phil's confusion began to grow as he heard the patter of webbed feet on his floor.

"Like gone. I don't even know where they are."

"Y/n," Phil began, walking closer and seeing the white goose standing next to his child, the goose attempting to pull on his kid's pant leg, it hissing at them when they shooed it off, "What's that?"

"This?" Y/n looked down at the goose, letting out a hiss in response to it honking at them, "It's a goose. And it won't leave me alone." They began frustration seeping through their voice, "Apparently it won't die, no matter how many times you push it into lava. So now I'm guessing it's some sort of immortal being that's come to spite me for my wrongdoings."

Y/n turned and climbed the ladder to the upper part of the house, the goose nestling down by the stairs, ruffling its feathers before it seemingly began to settle down.

"It's a soulmate goose."

Philza's head snapped around to face the voice, him calming once he realised that it was only Kristin. She made her way towards him, resting her hand gently on his shoulder, Phil leaning into the touch he could barely feel.

"The soulmate goose of enforcement only appears when there is an obstacle a soulmate pairing needs help to overcome," She continued walking over to pet the goose before it vanished, "It seems as if our little crow needs some help after all."

Upstairs, Y/n stared out of their window, watching the snow gently fall as they played with the three rings that were attached to a necklace around their neck. Each one with an engraving that referred to each counterpart in their past relationship.

"What do we do?" Y/n asked sitting down next to Quackity on the ground. The duck hybrid had finally stopped pacing and was now frustratedly pulling strands of grass from the ground before throwing them down, "How are we meant to find them?"

"I don't know," He began, "I don't know. I just- I keep thinking if we hadn't... You know... Then everything would be okay."

The two looked down at the ground, not noticing the goose begin to materialise in the distance. The silence between them was awkward. Neither of them knew how to continue and say what they wanted to.

"I came to apologise," Y/n spoke up, beginning to rip grass up from the ground. "I tried to come a month ago, but then there was a storm. But-"

"It would've still been too late," Quackity cut them off. Y/n looked up at him only to see him staring at the ground, refusing to look at them. "I left because I thought you weren't coming back, and then I had this idea-"

"What do you mean you thought I wasn't coming back? Quackity, I made a promise and so did you and the others! That we'd never walk away. Ever."

"Well, I'm sorry for thinking that then! It's just after the shit we both said I thought you were leaving this time for good! That you'd finally given up on us!"

"Can we not argue for once?"

"Oh, says you."

He stood up, taking a few steps backwards, before groaning in disdain.

"What now?"

"That fucking Goose is back!" Quackity sighed out, "I swear, it won't leave me alone."

"Okay, and what does that have to do with finding Karl and Sapnap?"

"I don't know okay! It's just this fucking thing won't leave me alone and keeps trying to drag me through nether portals." Quackity sighed, clearly frustrated.

"I'm sorry," he grumbled out, "I'm not good with emotions sometimes."

"I know," Y/n replied before standing up and taking Quackity's hands in theirs, rubbing their thumbs on the back of his palms when he didn't object or try to pull away. "You'd think the blaze hybrid would be the most hot-headed out of the four of us. Turns out, he's the least."

Quackity let out a small smile at their words before enveloping them in his arms, his wings fluttering and encasing the two of them.

“We still need to work stuff out,” Y/n said, voice slightly muffled, from where their head was buried in Quackity’s shirt.

“I know sweetheart, I know.”

Sapnap was outside.

And he was touching grass.

This wasn’t unusual for the blaze hybrid, him liking to sit in the flower fields surrounding his house.

When Karl choose the leave Cedar Rapids, Sapnap couldn't help but follow him, not wanting to lose the last of his partners, even though it felt as if he had already gone. Like Karl had slipped through his fingers and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He thinks that may be the reason why he subconsciously chose this place to live. The flower fields reminded him of the unproblematic childhood he had and the first home he knew.

The loud honk, which came from his left, startled him enough that he dropped the flower crown he was absentmindedly weaving, fire igniting around his horns. The amber flames swirled before dying down.

The goose waddled over to him, attempting to bite onto his sleeve and drag him. Sapnap attempted to swat him away only for the goose to hiss at him.

After a least a minute of this happening, Sapnap sighed at the animal before grabbing it over its wings and lifting it into his lap, the goose immediately settling down but now gnawing on his hand.

“Why do you have a Soulmate Goose?”

Sapnap didn't tear his eyes away from the creature that was nestled in his lap, it was still keen on trying to bite his fingers off.

“Nice to see you too Drista,” he said back, “What do you want?”

“To know why you have a soulmate goose? Duh?”

Spanap gave her a deadpan look, “Well I don’t know. Shouldn’t you know, aren’t you like a god or something?”

The teenager glared at him from where she was floating in the sky, “Just because you’re best friends with my brother doesn’t mean I like you.”

Sapnap rolled his eyes in response, returning to pet the animal in his lap, the softness of the feathers reminding him of the nights when Quackity would let them help preen his wings. The duck usually ends up curled up on his lap, his head on Sapnap’s chest listening to his heartbeat letting out soft chirps of appreciation. Sapnap's heart clenched at the memory.

The teenager let herself land on the ground, sitting down amongst the flowers as she stared to mess with the grass.

“My brother told me about them.”

“Who, Dream?”

“No, XD,” she glared back at him when he interrupted her, “He used to say that sometimes the humans would need help to be with their soulmate and that he and some of the other gods created this being that would help them, the people giving it its name.”

“The soulmate goose? Really?”

“That’s not its full name, idiot. It’s the Soulmate Goose of Enforcement,” Drista deadpanned. “Anyway, I wouldn’t have thought you would end up meeting it, you know. You get along so well with Karl, Quackity, and Y/n, therefore you wouldn’t- Oh.”

Sap looked down away from the teenager, returning to give the now quiet goose more pets.

“Yeah,” Sapnap whispered in response.

Feeling really awkward about the situation, the teenage god thought it would be best that she left, “I’m going to go and find Tommy, bye Snapchat!”

And with that, she teleported away leaving the blaze hybrid alone in the field.

Sapnap began to think about his choices again. About everything that had happened, about everything he didn’t say, about everything he could’ve, no should’ve done.

He knew he should’ve stepped in and stopped Y/n and Quackity from arguing. He knew he should’ve helped Karl more before he began to forget everything. He knew he should’ve helped himself, to stop himself from walking away from his home.

Yes, Kinoko Kingdom may be where he lived, it may be his, or partly his, but it wasn’t his home. Cedar Rapids was more his home, if anything, the Dream SMP was more of his home than this place.

His fiancées are his home, not here. Not anywhere else.

Not this place he ran to when he was scared. When he was terrified of losing the last person who meant something to him.

A few tears escaped his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away as the Goose in his lap let out another honk.

Unbeknownst to him, a figure started to approach him, coming to a stop a few feet in front of him, gentle cawing being heard a lot more.

“She was right you know,” The woman said, Sap looking up at the person standing in front of him, not recognising the figure. He tensed up, ready to fight the unknown person, but only if it came to it, "I didn't expect you four to have him."

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" he asked only for the woman to gently smile in response.

"I'm Kristin, Goddess of Death-"

"You're Y/n's mom," Sapnap interrupted.

"I am, amongst other things," Kristin sat down in front of the young adult, "It's nice to finally meet you Sapnap. Y/n talks about you quite a bit."

One of the few crows flying around came and hopped down on the ground between the two, dropping Kristin a shiny rock, letting the goddess pet them before flying off and joining the rest of its brethren.

"Sapnap," Kristin began, letting the blaze focus his attention back on her, "The best thing I could do is give you advice. Don't spend time dwelling on what needs to be done. Go, find Y/n and Quackity, and talk. If you keep bottling up your feelings, it's going to get you nowhere, and this guy here is just going to get more mad at the four of you for being idiots."

"They left," Sapnap replied, voice cracking slightly, "They left us-"

He tried to continue talking but sobs left his mouth as tears started to fall. His shoulders shook with each shuddering breath he took, his horns lighting with a dull blue fire once again.

Kristin shuffled forward, wrapping her arms around him, letting his head fall onto her shoulder as she ran a hand through his hair, comforting her almost son-in-law.

And as Sapnap let the tears fall from him and his emotions run, he knew he couldn't continue like this. He knew something had to change.

The rain was bad that night.

It didn't rain much in Las Nevadas, it being in a warmer part of the smp, but when it rained, it poured like hell.

It was mainly when thunderstorms would happen in the main part of the greater smp that the weather would really be affected. It was like a cycle. Heavy rain that would cause the river to rise where L'Manberg once stood meant that light showers would last an hour at most and thunderstorms would cause heavy rainfall that would soak anyone to the bone.

Quackity knew it was a bad storm because even Slime was holed up inside.

He had managed to zone out the sound of rain hitting the window, the continuous drone allowing him to block it out as inherent background noise. The occasional flashes of light caused his wings to twitch in anticipation.

There was something wrong.

Quackity didn't know what exactly. It was more of an inherent feeling creeping up behind him, causing the occasional shiver to run down his spine. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

Slime was sat by the window, looking out across Las Nevadas. He personally likes the rain, just when it gets too heavy it affects his viscosity too much and throws him off. 'There's always the fountain', he thought, his fingers tracing the raindrops across the window.

Slime was following the raindrops as they fell, his finger reaching up to trace them before he remembered what his friend Quackity had told him the last time he did that.

Slime knew that he was a goopy guy but sometimes he would forget. He knew that he was bones or that he had to be but sometimes his brain didn't connect and say that to his goop. It was something he was working on because he had to seem like a human and that he had bones, even when it was a no-bones day.

Anyway, ignoring Slime's partial existential crisis, the goopy guy in a shirt and pants, and basically an identical outfit to his friend Quackity, he continued to stare out of the window before ultimately attempting to return to his previous task.

Quackity was not paying attention. The paperwork in front of him had been read at least twelve times but he still couldn't take the information in. Something was disrupting him and he couldn't work out what. It was an itch in the back of his mind, an annoying one at that.

He let out a sigh as he dropped the pen onto the table, leaning back against his chair and pushing himself away from his desk. He let out a puff of air, blowing the strands of hair out from in front of his eyes. Quackity really needed another haircut.

He stared up at the ceiling, his mind starting to wander.

How long was it going to take purpled to find Karl and Sapnap, surely not another week right? He couldn't keep living like this. In denial and regret, it was drowning him.

Even if the two decided they never wanted him again, then at least he would apologise to them. It was the least they deserved.

The shadowy figure in the distance continued to draw closer, forcing Quackity, who had unfortunately noticed its presence earlier but chose to ignore it, to rise up out of his seat and head towards the window. It was a person he was staring at, carrying a bundle of something in its arms, but for the life of him he couldn't work out who.

The rain was cascading down now, affecting his vision and the lights of his city did little to unmask them. His heart clenched at the sight of it; that same nagging feeling saying something was wrong hit him tenfold.

He turned to face Slime, having made up his mind he would go see if the masked figure was okay only for the doors behind him to be flung open.

It was Y/n soaked to the bone.

"Q," they began, terror etched onto their face. It made Quackity's feathers ruffle and stand on edge, wanting to wrap them in his arms and protect them from whatever they were afraid of.

"Q, it's Karl."

The fire flickered casting light across the room. It was the only source of warmth alongside the abundance of blankets piled across the four of them.

The bundle held in Quackity's arms was no stranger to him, the mop of brown hair that usually covered his forehead pushed to the side allowing the damp cloth to rest there and lower the Jacobs boy's raging fever.

The duck's instincts kicked in and the other two stepped aside to allow him to swaddle and care for Karl. They knew he was in safe hands and that Quackity was better at dealing with sick people.

Y/n had propped themselves against the wall, a blanket thrown over their shoulders and wrapped around them. The cloak they had donned earlier was in a pile alongside some of the other wet clothes of both Sap and Karl.

They looked down at the duo huddled on the floor, Quackity's wings furling around the star-eyed boy in a protective cocoon. Chirps left his mouth as he changed the water on the rag before smoothing it over the brunette's unconscious forehead.

There was no guarantee that he would wake up. Y/n could only pray that the gods of prime would help him. They couldn't lose him.

"What happens now?"

Both their own and Sapnaps heads snapped up to look at Quackity, he having the courage to break the scared silence that had overcome them all.

Y/n looked to Sapnap, the blazeborn looking worse for wear. It looked like he hadn't gotten an ounce of sleep in the past years, like he was soon to be death-walking. Just like Karl.

His shirt was clad against his chest, the white material somewhat see-through but now drying allowing them to see the runes that lined his body. He was hunched forward, his own blanket lying over his shoulders as his hands were clasped together in his lap.

Figuring that he wasn't going to speak up, Y/n pushed themselves off the wall and moved to sit between Sapnap's chair, and where the two were huddled together on the floor. They grabbed the blazeborn's hand in their own and placed their other upon Q's shoulder causing him to sway towards them slightly at the affection.

"We talk." They spoke out, the three awake sharing glances at each other.

A distant honk sounded as the goose settled itself into Slime's lap, the goopy guy petting the animal before it began to fade into dust, blowing away into the sky.

338 notes · View notes