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allaboardtheussharringrove · 3 years

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So @billy-baby mentioned That 70’s Show and Harringrove, and it reminded me of a *whole ass* set of hc’s about a 70’s/Stranger Things AU that has been sitting in my notes for literal years collecting dust, so here it is:

-Billy & Hyde would be besties, probably neighbours in the same shitty neighbourhood

-They headbang to hard rock and metal, jam to 60’s & 70’s rock while drinking TONS of beer and hotboxing the Camaro and El Camino, respectively

-Bands they’d have in common: AC/DC, Black Sabbath & Ozzy Osbourne, Scorpions, KISS, Judas Priest, Van Halen, and Led Zeppelin just to name a couple

-Hyde always gives Billy shit for like, never wearing a shirt, Billy gives Hyde shit for his ever-present sunglasses & sideburns

-They know each other’s parental problems, and take refuge in the Forman’s basement/the empty Harrington house (yes, we’re talkin’ a Hawkins, Indiana/Point Place, Wisconsin mashup here)

-Billy still has a major crush on Steve (Harrington that is, Steven Hyde will only be referred to as Hyde [and that possible name mix-up could cause some hilarity whenever anyone calls out “Steven”, and some embarrassing rumour drama for Billy, Steve, & Hyde (or omg a block party at the Formans where Kitty calls out “William! Steven! Michael!” And she turns around and has Billy, Will, Hyde, Steve, Mike, and Kelso starting at her expectantly)])

-Billy probably also thinks Eric and Kelso are kinda cute, but total dumbasses, they both definitely annoy him

-Fez would have a totally awkward and hilarious crush on Billy, and you just know Billy would flirt with him on purpose just to make him nervous (this might make Steve a lil jealous and annoy him to no end)

-Jackie would have the BIGGEST crush on Steve, after Kelso, and drag him around to go shopping and shit, he would tolerate it but Billy would absolutely hate her as a “bitchy rich entitled snot-nosed brat” cause she would be vocal about him being poor and he’d have to be calmed down by Hyde and Steve all the time

-Billy would give Hyde an unimaginable amount of shit for going out with Jackie, hooo boy!

-Steve would get a kick outta Kelso, but I think he and Eric would be pretty close friends, with Steve always pushing to hang around at the Forman’s cause Eric’s parents are always present, as opposed to his empty house (he adores Kitty Forman for SURE as the mother he never had)

-But the gang would surely hold parties at the Harrington’s....and only sometimes get away with it (both these groups are known for their KEGS! and the 70’s teens would lose their damn minds over Keg Kings Billy & Steve)

-Billy would put the charm on for Kitty sometimes just to see her blush, and Red would get annoyed and just a little threatening saying something like “Like to see how charming you are with my foot up your ass” and Billy being the abused kid that he is automatically takes it a little too seriously- probably flinches, goes a little pale, stutters out a “Yes sir, sorry sir”

-This would make Kitty and Red a bit concerned, pay a visit to the Hargrove household- I wouldn’t be surprised if they experience Neil putting Billy down or catch a glimpse of a smack or something and they would for sure take action with Red intimidating Neil cause you know he could

-Anyway! Girls. Robin and Donna would be THE BEST FRIENDS EVER, cause Donna had no other cool girl friend to hang out with and you just KNOW Robin might have an “itsy bitsy” (huge) crush on Donna, cause she’s Hot Donna, also they’re both super into female empowerment (and honestly, when Donna/Eric break up I could see her maybe falling for Robin too)

-Donna and Billy would be buds, she might like him for a hot minute but be cool with him being gay (Out of everyone in the 70’s gang, I think he’d most likely share this with her - cause she’d probably figure it out - even if it’s just to gush about their dumb, brave, pretty brunette boys to each other)

-Max would LOVE Donna, not just because of the hair (but also redhead solidarity is important), but because they’re both badasses and would totally vibe together- Max, Billy, and Donna would be an unexpectedly fun trio (and Billy would complain about having to drive the “GingeTwins” around all the time or something to that effect)

-And Jackie having to babysit Erica (because Donna does it sometimes, but she’s out for the night) would be the best thing ever good lord, Erica would put Jackie in her place, but they’d probably make up some schemes together too

-Also Erica would be absolutely appalled at having a similar name to Eric, she’d probably call him something along the lines of “Supreme Nerd” or “King of the Nerds” and have an endless supply of unimpressed looks for him during their debates of whose name is better

-Eric would totally join Mike, Will, Lucas & Dustin in their nerd exploits (STAR WARS!) And he and Dustin would get into loooong nerd debates

-I think Kelso would join Dustin & Lucas (and maybe the other boys too) in doing mischievous experiments including but not limited to: pyrotechnics, wrist rockets, radios and electronics... He’d begrudgingly listen to the scientific explanations of the boys (which would all fly right over his head) and they would have a moderate success rate, but also have to run away from the trouble they’d get in

-Lucas and Hyde would always be cool, but after finding out about Hyde’s biological dad they could become closer (Hyde’s dad and Lucas would have the best banter)

-Will and Eric would geek out over comics, and I think Eric would be super nice/supportive about seeing Will’s drawings

-Jonathan would be pretty quiet at first, but might talk to Fez since they’re both kinda the odd man out in each group (and he’d be genuinely NICE to Fez, *side eyes 70’s teens*)- then he’d be roped into doing random/stupid/mildly illegal stuff with the gang

-And despite Billy & Hyde being besties, I think Jonathan would bond with Hyde over shitty dads (plus I think Hyde would love Joyce, and she’d be another offer of refuge for him & Billy) and WEED WEED WEED

-Actually that might definitely be a sub-trio: Jonathan, Billy, & Hyde- they’d all have each other’s backs when it came to family drama (and later on when Hyde gets his record store, he’d offer them both jobs and Jonathan would be over the fuckin’ moon and work there)

-Billy would for sure work for Red in his muffler shop, and Red would take him under his wing, probably unwittingly become the father figure Billy never had.

-Nancy, hmmm, well she’s on the richer side of town so her and Jackie might be friends? but she’d for sure get annoyed with Jackie’s shallow bullshit

-OH and Robin would also hate Jackie I think, ‘cause of her entitlement and relentless obsession with boys (poor Jackie, I’m not setting her up for anything great here huh)

-So that’d be why Steve is friends with her, if only ‘cause he feels bad when she alienates herself from the rest of the teens, they (and I hate to say this) *could possibly* date for like 5 minutes, it’d be a REALLY hard time for Billy...and Kelso. And those two would probably come up with some hairbrained scheme to break them up (and succeed, but each get ripped a new one because of it)

-But at least the group of teen girls would be bigger if Donna, Robin, Jackie, and Nancy all hung out together sometimes (and if they tried to have a sleepover or something there would be toooo many idiot boys trying to creep on them, I think Billy would be the voice of reason and tell them they’re all being dickheads)

-And he’d give Fez a fuck ton of shit for being such a voyeuristic creep, probably make him stop hiding in people closets (wait what? Fez is like constantly coming out of closets in that show?! hello?? is that a thing??? Oh ho-ho they’d have a whole talk about that)

-Steve would get a kick outta Fez, probably think he was the funniest dude on the planet, as I’d say they’re the goofballs of the group (and yes, I am mostly excluding the King Steve narrative from this and using only cool mom Steve, cool? cool.)

-Steve might also have a lil crush on Donna, (‘cause a strong personality and blue eyes is like his kink, we all know this) but Eric would throw a fit about that and then they’d be all buddy-buddy discussing Donna & Billy (I think Eric being kind of a dumbass about his own gay kiss might put Steve off for a bit [and make Billy super hesitant and real pissed], but I also think Eric would be cool with hearing Steve out about his big bisexuality-discovery-adventure)

-Donna and Eric trying set Steve and Billy up by saying they’re all gonna hang out, and then like locking Billy/Steve in a room together or something and leaving😈

-When Billy/Steve’s relationship comes out, Hyde’s reaction is probably “That’s cool, man” Kelso would make some corny statement about how hot *he* is, Fez would probably fangirl over it with big ole heart eyes, Jackie would be like “weird, whatever”, Kitty would get flustered and then overly excited about it after a while, Red would be uncomfortable but okay with it saying something like “I better not catch you two dumbasses doing anything in my house”

-Ohmygod, Red as a father figure to Billy, Kitty as a mother figure to Steve, and they end up being so supportive of the boys ‘cause they have to put up with so much parental shit (say what you want, but the Formans have compassion) and they convert their house/backyard into a little private prom for the whole gang just so Billy/Steve can dance together and be themselves

-Billy, Steve, and Robin would die laughing every time they saw/talked to Leo. And I feel like Robin would talk her way into a job at the Photo Hut and then just end up being the manager and hires Jonathan herself to do the developments

-And you know how Hyde is always punching Kelso in the arm? Well he’d always get one, and Billy would punch the other arm as he’d classify Kelso a special kind of idiot, they’d always be teasing Kelso together, but Billy (and Steve I’m sure) would have some wicked BURNS that Kelso would love

-Steve and Kelso as friends? Sure, pretty boys gotta stick together~ especially when Steve gets called that by Billy, and then Kelso insists he’s a prettier boy, and Billy either rolls his eyes or flirts aggressively cause Kelso doesn’t understand WHY that’s Steve’s nickname, and it’s a whole can of worms you guys

-(And I didn’t forget about El, I’m just not quite sure where she fits in this AU... she probably doesn’t have powers and is the new kid who moves into town cause of a bad home life, she’d befriend Max in school and then I think Donna would take her under wing, then she’d be a hit with the teen gang cause she’d break her quietness with witty comments/one-liners, and since she’s very intuitive still, she gravitates towards Billy & Hyde and there would be some touching heart-to-hearts about shitty parental situations followed immediately after by inappropriate offers of beer to which she responds with a firm “gross”)

-And finally, *the Circle* would be so much bigger and funnier with the Stranger Teens in it

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

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5x12: Swap Meat

At a bar, a woman sits alone, enjoying her margarita, when one Sam Fucking Winchester wanders over and asks the barkeep ---NOT at all awkwardly--for a banana daiquiri. He’s either deep undercover or something is seriously hinky. There’s a lot of sugar in banana daiquiris, Sam. Crystal introduces herself and Sam introduces himself as Gary! She then propositions him, much to his cluelessness.

The poor dumb boy puts it together and “would love to have the sex with [her].” We then pan over to see Sam REALLY isn’t Sam at all.

Housatonic, Massachusetts

36 Hours Earlier

Sam and Dean visit Donna, an old babysitter --well, she was a maid at a motel they’d stay at while John went hunting. She looked out for them. It seems that her family house has a poltergeist problem. Bumps and broken items have led to the thing attacking their daughter, Katie.

Katie lifts her shirt to reveal “Murderd Chylde” carved into her abdomen. I'd get some serious vaseline on those wounds if you don’t want scarring, Katie. Yeesh. Sam and Dean tell the family to skedaddle while they take care of things.

They stop at a diner for food next. Dean picks up their order from the counter from Banana Daiquiri Gary! He’s not impressed with Sam’s salad shake, and neither is Dean (but when is he ever?)

They talk about Donna and how she’s got a good thing going. Dean asks Sam if he’d want to settle down at all and have a family, and Sam answers, “no.” Dean looks contemplative about it.

Sam finds lore on the house. A Samuel Pickett owned the house in the 1700s and hung a woman, Maggie Briggs, there for witchcraft. As the brothers talk, we watch Gary hyperfixate on Sam.

Sam goes to check out the town’s archives for where Maggie Briggs was buried. As he’s walking back to the motel, he hears a noise and then gets shot in the neck with a dart. Lights out, Sammy.

He comes to later, wearing Gary’s work uniform. He starts walking but the cops pick him up claiming his family is worried about him. “My brother called you?” Sam asks, incredulous.

No. The cops take him to a suburban house where a worried couple pops out and hugs Sam in relief. He asks who they are and in return they want to know if he’s drunk.

They keep calling him Gary. It’s then that Sam looks in the window of the cop car --and sees his reflection. He looks like Gary!

Meanwhile, Gary is checking out his hot new bod. Dean shows up and wonders where he’s been. Gary placates him with food. He also tells Dean that the maid saw all their weapons and they better get out of there. While Dean uses the restroom, Gary gets rid of all Dean’s phones.

THEN he has the NERVE to ask to drive. He doesn’t get far. And quite frankly, Dean’s spidey sense should be spiking through the ceiling at this point.

Sam keeps trying to reach his brother, with no luck. He calls the motel to learn that the two dudes in room 102 left in the middle of the night. So, Sam starts digging through Gary’s stuff and discovers items of witchcraft. Before he can dig too much further though, he’s called to the family breakfast.

His “dad” starts grilling him about getting drunk the night before. Sam’s got better things to worry about than placating some dude he doesn’t know. He also needs to learn more about Gary, so he starts interviewing the family about what they've noticed in him lately.

The dad wants to know if Sam’s “smoking drugs”. Sam then asks if they’ve ever seen him with a black book recently. His sister, Sydney, reacts to that question. The mom reacts to him eating toast --his allergy to wheat gluten!!

Sydney later reveals to Sam that there IS a book.

Gary and Dean are still working the case. Dean informs Gary that they have to search graves for Maggie’s body. Nerd of Nerd’s Gary knows exactly where Maggie Briggs is buried: Isiah Pickett’s basement. He also reveals that he murdered her and her unborn child before burying them in the basement. Dean connects the ‘murderd chylde’ clue.

Once in the car, Bob Seger starts blasting, and Gary tells Dean to turn it up.

Sam continues to leave messages for Dean. He ALSO has to navigate the tortures of high school again. Sam meets two of Gary’s friends and asks where his locker is (he’s still drunk, after all).

For This is a Look TM Science:

(And let’s pause for a moment to enjoy Sam’s striped hoodie. Definitely one of the top 5 wardrobe choices on this show.)

He finds the book in the back of Gary’s locker.

Gary and Dean find the grave in the basement of the Pickett house. Dean gets to digging while Gary aims his gun at Dean. Before he can shoot, the ghost comes out to play. It starts beating up the both of them but Gary’s able to burn the bones.

Gary’s extremely nosy friends follow Sam out of the school. While it looks like we’re gearing up for some good ol’ Ferris Bueller shenanigans, Trevor shoots Sam in the throat (GAH) with a sedative dart.

Meanwhile, at a bar, Dean orders a burger with extra bacon and a fried egg on top. Excuse me...I need to go eat an entire branchbouquet of kale in retaliation. Mysteriously, Sam orders the same thing. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Dean asks. But it’s just a lighthearted comment and they raise a toast to a successful hunt.

Gary’s over the moon overabout the day he just had. His joy makes Dean suspicious the way nothing else has. Oh, you sweet sad sunflowers. Gary lays out Sam Winchester’s happiness list: 1) gun 2) getting drunk 3) looks like Sam Winchester.

“You ever feel like your whole future is being decided for you?” Gary asks. OH YES, Dean tells him. I forget for a minute that I’m watching a season 5 episode as the Dean-Winchester-feels-trapped-in-the-narrative-sorrow threatens to overwhelm me. But there areis no time for FEELINGS when the narrative must go on! Cut to later in the night, when Gary gets picked up by the woman in the bar from the cold open. Dean puts his thinking face on while Gary ecstatically leaves the bar.

Back at Kid Kidnapperz clubhouse, Sam’s tied up. Trevor calls Gary and asks him if he’s killed Dean yet. “I’m working up to it,” Gary replies while sitting shirtless under a leopard print bedspread in the cougar’s lair. (Just...no on SO MANY LEVELS.) Sam listens to this with great alarm.

Sam demands to know how these rando teenagers know Dean. “Everybody knows Dean. He’s Hell’s most wanted,” Trevor retorts. Sam puts two and two together and comes up with a coupla dumb kids who took a deep dive into witchcraft and started talking to demons.

“You’re just kids,” Sam laments. Trevor and Nora fill in more blanks. They were messing around with a Moste Dark Booke of Witchcraftery, as one does, and suddenly Gary went into a trance and drew a fairly decent picture of Dean. Gary also heard a voice - it was setting a bounty on Dean’s head, and apparently broadcast through the witch trance network.

Gary heard a voice in his head - it was setting a bounty on Dean’s head, and apparently broadcast through the witch trance network. Nora now has second thoughts, so Trevor ups his stupidity game and starts to summon a demon.

That night, Gary creeps into the motel room and grabs Dean’s gun up from a nearby chair. He cocks the pistol. . He aims it at the shape under the covers...and Dean grabs him from behind and demands to know who he really is. (Silly Gary, Dean stopped sleeping under covers after he got back from Hell.)

Back in Trevor’s basement, he finishes the demon summoning. Nora looks up with black eyes.

She’s very interested to learn that they’ve got Dean Winchester in their sights. Trevor tells her where Dean is immediately. She absorbs this and swings her attention to Sam. She realizes it’s Sam “Boy King of Hell” Winchester sitting there and is suddenly VERY interested. Trevor asks her where his reward is, and when he pushes for it she first taunts, then kills him. (All the while Sam is in the background GRINDING HIS TEETH.)

Gary weeps, tied up in the motel room while Dean listens to voicemail after voicemail from Sam. Gary babbles about Sam’s whereabouts but it’s too late. Demon!Nora saunters in and lobs Dean across the room. Wherps. She offers Gary a powerful future but first he’s got to meet “the boss.” All he has to do is say “Yes” and they can have a nice chat together! Very sneaky! Dean attacks her while she’s cooking up her big plan and then Gary and Dean tag team an exorcism, freeing Nora of the demon. Later, Gary performs the incantation to swap bodies with Sam again. (I shake my head yet again that THIS is the ONLY body swap episode we got in the whole fifteen season run. What a goddamn waste of comedy potential.

With Sam restored to normal (or as normal as a Winchester can get), Dean confronts Gary. He tells him that if he were just a little older, he’d be dead right now. With those comforting parting words, they bring Gary and Nora back to their lives. Sam tells Gary to quit his whining about his life. It’s possible to rebel in a “healthy, non-satanic way.” Furthermore, he tells Gary that he wishes he had his life. Once the kids are out of earshot, Dean comments on Sam’s kind words. “Totally lied. Kid’s life sucked ass.” The apple-pie family crap is stressful, Sam decides.

Maybe they just don’t know what they’re missing, Dean rejoins, and I calmly tie an anvil around my ankle and drop it off a cliff into a dramatically large canyon.

They head out into the rainy night...to fight another day!

Doppelquöter:

You ever think that you'd want something like that? Wife, rugrats, the whole nine?

No matter how much you fight it, you can't stop the plan. The stupid, stupid plan

Um, I wouldn't exactly call praying to our dark overlord “goofing around”

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn 5x12 #swap meat #supernatural season 5

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eeveecryptid · 3 years

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※ BORDERLANDS: CL4P-TP EDITION

Various lines that Claptrap has said through Borderlands 3 while scavenging parts for his new friend. feel free to adjust pronouns/phrasing if needed. May include nsfw material.

“joke's on them, haha! all we have inside is circuitry and tears.” “that one has a gyroscopic rotor! keeps us from falling over all the time. mine's been missing for years!” “that claptrap died trying to slide across a car hood. didn't know you could screw that up so bad!” “someone hung up that claptrap and repurposed him as a loudspeaker! barbaric! WE ARE NOT LOUDSPEAKERS!” “my friend's gonna throw the bumpingest parties, and now EVERYONE'S gonna show up!” “finally, i'll have someone to talk to who understands what i'm saying!” “that claptrap died fighting our greatest enemy: stairs!” “looks like he was testing an experimental stair-climbing module. ohhh, i see the problem. he didn't turn it on!” “look at THIS lazy bum!” “yes! that claptrap has a functioning eye! my friend will be SO happy! this universe does not fare well for eyeless robots.” “someone used that claptrap to jumpstart a generator! what could he have that would produce that kind of power?!” “a library of every dubstep song in the entire universe?! but-- they told me there was only one! the wub-wub one!” “when they say it's good to have friends in high places, i'm not sure this is what they were talking about.” “now someone can listen to my podcast besides me! my audience just doubled! oh, mattress advertisers? i'm waaaaaaiting!” “hey! rough night? ha! . . . yeah, i know s/he's dead. let me have this!” “guy must have been expecting some action! he was packing a serious firewall. smart move- you never know what kinda nasty networks someone's been interfacing with. knew a guy who dated a tediore shotgun, and his wheel rotted right off his axle!” “another claptrap, ground beneath the crushing wheels of industry, its back broken as it holds the weight of the world upon its shoulders. ---ooh, what can we steal from it?” “died tickling the old ivories! you wouldn't think our clamps are suited to the piano. and they aren't!” “that guy's got a synthedope harmonizing module! sounds like someone won't have an excuse to miss karaoke night this time! “hahahahahaha-- look at this freaking nerd! haha! he read a book so hard, he died! ahahahaha! what a freaking nerd! ha!” “oh good, a poetry module. that makes me feel . . . good!” “this guy tried to interface with a generator! classic rookie mistake. i mean, heh- we ALL wanna get with a generator. just gotta be smart about it!” “it turns out you CAN synthesize love, with a standard-issue love module! i may not pass the Turing test, but you better believe i pass the Alluring test!” “hah! he got stuck! must have been that big ol' rump!” “yeah! my new friend is gonna have some 'thicc' rear paneling! if you want that looty, you better have an armored booty! ... that's, uh- that was- that was thick with two 'c's, by the way.” “i didn't know claptraps could drown! now i have an entirely new set of fears! thanks!” “with that new paint job, no one will confuse my friend for me! friend or not, no one steals my spotlight and lives to tell the tale! NO ONE!” “junked! in the prime of his/her life!” “it's not often you see a claptrap hair unit. i haven't seen one since my mohawk on liar's berg. yeah, i was pretty punk rock back then.” “whoa, looks like SOMEONE was a chewtoy for a saurian! i get it, we're delicious.” “with that ultra-premium grade multitasking personality modifier, my new best friend will be able to cower and grandstand at the same time!” “someone pushed that guy out of his wheelchair! who does that?!” “you know what they say: 'when the almighty robot policeman closes a door, just open that thing back up!'” “looks like this guy survived a ship crash, only to die in a swamp! sometimes, inside a silver lining is another lining made of swamp poop.” “oh, that's a cl4p-tp hard disk slot. perfect! that'll help my new friend store all her new memories of spending time only with me.” “look at this spore-head! out of his mind on spores! this is what happens when we don't educate our claptraps.” “that's an extended long-term memory enhancement chip! that's super helpful, because our short-term memories are horrible! who are you again? oh, hey! an extended long-term memory enhancement chip!” “someone was dismantling this claptrap for parts! well, one person's robocide is our windfall!” “looks like this guy had it all figured out! interfaced himself to death in a porn cave. we should all be so lucky.” “that's a rugged vzk all-terrain package! it's like four-wheel drive, but in a single wheel! that's just math.” “whoever stuffed this guy into a tire must have hated claptraps. so we've narrowed the suspect list down to ... all of pandora.” “with that wheel, my new friend will be able to dance like a graceful gazelle, if gazelles walked on a single wheel.” “it's a mercenary day miracle! except for that guy.” “with those RGB LEDs, my friend will finally be as beautiful on the outside as i am on the inside!” “oh, he was SO CLOSE to that gas can when he ran out of gas. that's so poignant! weird word. poignant. /poignant/.” “oh, look! that claptrap unit was using his reinforced hand clamps to save that other claptrap unit! how heroic!” “'nooooo!' is what i'd be saying if i didn't super-need those hand clamps! suckers! with that pristine set of cl4-mp hand units, my friend and i can hold hands as we frolic through the meadows and wildflowers and stuff!” “looks like that guy died of excitement! listen up, kids. sometimes thrills . . . can KILLS.” “a functioning pair of cl-class arm units? maybe i'll finally know what a hug feels like.” “awww, the psychos must have adopted that dead claptrap as one of their own. that's- i was gonna say touching, but honestly kinda creepy.” “an adorable heart accessory! no idea what that does, but you can't argue with accessories!” “that's one of the exploratory claptraps sent out to find alien worlds! it found nekrotafeyo on its own! and then got eaten by a plant. circle of life, baby!” “the series-4 vernaculon spectral vocalizer allows for all sorts of figurative language! it's like a spice rack for the speech center!” “rocket safety, people, i can't stress this enough. those things'll crush you!” “ah, a volume control knob. a small but very important upgrade. because who doesn't like TO YELL SOMETIMES?!” “i mean ... guy's on fire.” “oh good, you found some heat vents! that'll be vital for my friend, because we claptraps run hot! reaaaal hot.” “drowned in an alien sea! what voidic mysteries were his final sights? what dark songs of the deep his dirge?” “standard claptrap arms only have thirty-five degrees of movement- not NEARLY enough for high fives! but with this fancy rotator module, we can slap clamp all day long!” “how'd this guy even get here? maybe this place works differently with space... and time!” “oh great! a functioning sarcasm module. i'm just /so happy/ my friend will know when's an appropriate time to use the /all-important/ social tool that is sarcasm!”

#ask meme #borderlands rp meme #sentence starters #indie rp #inbox meme #rp meme #rp ask #rp ask meme #askbox meme #askbox starters #rp sentence meme #sentence starter meme #rp sentence starters #inbox memes #indie starters #rp inbox meme

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threeletterslife · 4 years

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06 | Illegirl

→ previous | next

→ summary: Excelling in every school subject, acing every math test and conquering the academic world is something you do as easily as breathing. As your residential social outcast nerd, you live rather as a recluse, talking to almost no one except for your dear ol’ cousin and that sweet boy in a few of your classes—Jungkook? was that his name? Befriending your ʰᵒᵗ AP stats teacher was the last thing on your high school senior agenda…

→ genre: 90% fluff, 8% crack, 2% angst | teacher!au & f2l!au

→ warnings: profanity, kissing/making out, the yikes of being friendzoned

→ wordcount: 5.7k

You've never really thought about it before but now you realize that teachers do have a life outside of school.

They don't just sleep under their big, teacher desks at night and pop up in the morning right before the first bell rings. You know now that teachers, although with so much authority and intellect, are just humans—they have feelings, they have a life and they can also be your friend.

You beam as you look at your teacher as he lectures. A friend he was...

Your eyes shift up and down Jimin's figure and man, was it too sweet for your eyes. He's so good looking. Actually, even that was an understatement.

Your teacher's tight, white button-up shirt fits his figure just perfectly as his tie sit handsomely on his broad chest. His black jeans look strained on his muscular legs, and your eyes start moving up to settle specifically on his thighs. Goddamn.

Jimin pushes up his glasses (that he only wears in a classroom setting) and that motion draws you in to study his ethereal face. Your breath hitches as you marvel at his wide, almond eyes, adorable nose and those soft, plump lips. So beautiful, so surreal, so...

"Y/N? Y/N. Y/N!"

You jump a foot in the air. "Huh, what?" you shout, startled out of your mind. You know you probably sound like some twelve-year-old caught with porn and you mentally scold yourself for sounding so off-guard.

It gets worse when everyone in your math class laughs at you and you can feel your cheeks turning red with embarrassment.

"I asked you a question," Jimin says as he points to a problem on the board.

You've always noticed that your teacher never ever cuts you slack for being his friend; he doesn't show favoritism, preferring to treat everyone quite equally, no matter how bad someone might take an L on his test. You always thought that was honorable of him, but now, you kind of wished he'd leave you alone to die in your ocean of humiliation.

Palms already sweaty from all the unwanted attention on you, your eyes shake as you squint at the problem. It's hard to focus on the numbers. "Oh shit," you mutter under your breath, but you've always been a loud mutterer.

Everyone laughs again.

Uneasy sparks blaze in your stomach. You hate how everyone is watching you, waiting and listening for anything out of place to ridicule your every move.

But you take a deep breath and the math problem seems to clear up in your vision. It's an easy one, thank god.

"22 pi over 7," you squeak quickly, ducking your head under.

"Hm? Speak a little louder, Y/N," Jimin says as he adjusts his glasses, craning his neck towards you as if he couldn't hear you.

Goddammit, Jimin.

"22 pi over 7!" you yell in the stupidest and shakiest voice ever to be heard by mankind.

Finally, the fire in your stomach burns out when Jimin nods. "Correct," he chuckles slightly, his eyes glinting a bit. " Try not to daydream too much, Y/N. Even geniuses need to pay attention."

The fire is back and hotter than ever, except it's not only in your stomach, it's everywhere in your body. So. Fucking. Humiliating.

Trying to cool yourself, you set your head down on the desk, looking at your shoes as if those dirty, black Watt Star Converse were something actually worth looking at for more than half a millisecond.

Damn. I used to never get distracted... What the fuck is wrong with me?

After school, you trudge to your math teacher's classroom, still embarrassed about the incident earlier. When you walk in, Jimin's erasing the whiteboard, his back facing you.

As quietly and quickly as possible, you set your stuff down at your desk in the front of the classroom and sit. I will not initiate conversation. He's gonna hate me for getting distracted during class.

But when your teacher turns around, he laughs warmly, eyes scrunching up in the way that you love most.

"Y/N, why so quiet today?"

You flinch. "Oh, uh, no reason." You always sound so suspicious when you lie to Jimin.

"C'mon, you look disturbed," your friend says as he sets the whiteboard eraser down, abandoning it to walk towards you. "What's the matter?"

Oh, you know, just simply embarrassed that I think my friend, my teacher is hot and got fucking distracted over his goddamn body during his class.

But you can't say that.

"Oh, um..." you trail off, racking your brain for a good excuse. But as smart as you are academically, you're as stupid as a guppy when it comes to making plausible excuses. "I'm on my period."

You cringe the moment the words leave your mouth. Why, Y/N, why the fuck—

You want to crawl in a hole when Jimin raises his eyebrows in question. "Oh," he says. You swear you see his face flush pink as he turns his back towards you again, walking towards his messy desk. "Did it start today?" he asks.

Okay, what now?

Now it's your turn to flush pink; you didn't think Jimin would ask questions about your fake female problems. "Uh, yeah," you lie. "The cramps distracted me." Feigning pain, you try to convincingly grasp your stomach.

Jimin looks up at you from his desk, his silky black hair falling loosely over his twinkling eyes. To your surprise, he's smiling. "It isn't the first time I heard that excuse, Y/N. I know what you're really like on your period, remember?"

Well, shit. You did remember, you had just hoped he didn't... But it was your darn luck that he did. What did you expect from your intelligent teacher?

Face steaming, you huff. "Oh, whatever!"

Jimin only laughs, his eyes nearly disappearing as his full lips open up to a breathtakingly beautiful smile. You gulp. There's no doubt about it.

You're crushing on your teacher; he's much more of a distraction than your period will ever be.

"Operation help Ji—I mean, Mr. Park starts now!" you announce as the members of your math club cheer loudly.

"I don't know what kind of fucked up nasty humans were mean to our teacher, but we're totally gonna show them!" Nicole declares, Sarah and August agreeing aggressively by her side.

"But the question is... how?" Jungkook asks shyly, scooting closer to you.

Very aware of his movement, you slightly squirm, but pretend nothing happened. "I was thinking of a math tutoring club? For anyone who wants tutoring or is failing the class," you say. "And that way, if asshole parents complain again, we'll be able to say that Mr. Park did everything he could to help them—he has a fucking club dedicated to passing his class!"

"Ingenius as usual," August laughs.

"And when would we start this club?" Sarah asks.

You grin, your eyes sparkling with ambition. "If we can, tomorrow."

"No, no, no!" you practically scream, hitting your favorite pencil against a packet of math problems aggressively. "For the last time, you can't divide x to get an answer! You're gonna lose solutions! Do you want to lose solutions? Do you want to lose that A?"

The teen you're tutoring looks about ready to cry but you honestly feel no remorse. She had been constantly checking her goddamn text messages, giggling over quite inappropriate texts about Jimin. It makes you sick.

If she thinks Jimin's so fucking hot, why doesn't she at least try to be good at math?

"Hey, hey, Y/N, calm down," a familiar, silvery voice calls.

Jungkook.

"I'm trying!" you protest, flinging up your hands.

Jungkook laughs, sliding into the chair next to you and looking at the girl you were tutoring.

"What are you having trouble with?" he asks the girl in such a silky, smooth voice that if someone told you he was an angel, you'd believe them.

"Everything!" the dumb girl wails.

You roll your eyes.

"Hey, hey, then let's start from the very beginning, okay?" Jungkook soothes, smiling softly.

Goddamn, I wish I was that patient.

You just start to zone out as Jungkook literally reteaches this girl how to factor. You honestly wonder how she even passed elementary school. But then again, you have to admit you're a little jealous that this girl has so many friends to text. Yet you'd rather be smart than be popular—that's just how you roll.

You pause. But it's not like you don't have friends. You just don't have that many. And I actually like all the friends I have for once...

You don't remember falling asleep when a large, warm hand gently shakes you awake. Your groggy eyes open to see Jungkook, a goofy smile plastered on his face. "Tired, Y/N?" he chuckles.

The girl he's tutoring rolls her eyes. "Hmph. She yells at me for checking my messages but she does something even more unproductive," she grumbles.

Oh no. You did not just wake up to deal with attitude. You're not gonna have it. "Excuse me, but while I'm out here mastering linear algebra, you don't even know how to factor. Guess you had one too many hours of texting, huh?" you snap.

"Dayum," Jungkook mutters under his breath. He casually holds his hand out for a high-five, which you do, extremely dramatically.

"For your information, I know how to factor now," the girl huffs.

"For your information, that's a required skill for fifth graders," you bite back. "In addition—"

"As hilarious as this is," Jungkook interrupts, placing a hand on your arm, "You should calm down. It's a tutoring session, not a roasting session."

You sigh as the girl practically drools over your friend.

"Sure, Jungkook, sweetie. Thank you so much for your help so far," she giggles, flirtingly twirling her hair with her slender finger.

"Yeah, whatever," you reply as you feel Jungkook's hand slipping off your arm, the warm heat now gone.

Jungkook goes back to teaching the girl, oblivious of her seducing attempts. You roll your eyes as you look around the tutoring club—the turnout was better than you expected, honestly. For the first time in a classroom, however, you feel lost. You're not the best at teaching, (to be exact, you're the worst). Your patience is shorter than your height, (which is saying a lot), but everyone else in the math club seems to be teaching naturals.

Feeling a little guilty you can't do much to help out, you start to play with your pencil, twirling it around and doing cool tricks that you've accumulated over the years. But of course three minutes in, your hand loses grip of your writing utensil and it flings off, hitting the ground and starts rolling away from you.

Sighing irritably because you have to physically move to go get it, you stand up from your chair, crawling on the floor to reach your pencil. "Found you, you idiot," you tell your blue oxi-gel when you hear a light laugh coming from above you.

Facing forward, you come face-to-face with a pair of knees covered with smooth, black material. Looking up, you see your teacher smiling down at you.

"Were you actually talking to your pencil?" he teases, face set with a brilliant grin.

"I... uh..."

"God, what is this?" Jimin asks as he looks around his classroom filled with students. "Y/N, are you organizing a cult?" he whispers with a full grin plastered on his face.

"What no!" you protest as Jimin helps you stand up. "It was kinda supposed to be a surprise but..."

"It's a math tutoring club," Jungkook chimes in. "We're helping students reach that A, you know?"

"You guys made a tutoring club for me?" your teacher says, placing a hand to his heart. "I'm about to burst into tears."

You chuckle at Jimin's dramatized actions. "Well, no one deserves mistreatment. Ahem, especially not body objectification," you say as you glare at the girl Jungkook's tutoring. She rolls her eyes.

"Awww," Jimin coos. "You guys are amazing. You know what? We're ordering pizza, my treat!"

People cheer so loud your ears physically hurt.

You sigh out, clutching your full stomach as you slide into the shotgun seat of Jimin's nice car. "Damn... Since we already ate, does that mean we're not eating dinner at your house tonight?"

Jimin chuckles lowly. "Why? Wanted to go to my house?"

Your cheeks blush red as you shake your head aggressively. "No! I was just saying..."

"Well, I mean, we didn't have dessert yet, didn't we?" Jimin suggests, smiling. His fingers softly brush against yours as he reaches for your seatbelt, buckling it for you. "You always forget to wear your seatbelt, Y/N," he laughs. "You never know when I might fuck up on the road."

"Hmph!" you say, crossing your arms over your rapidly being chest. "Stop babying me! I was gonna put it on this time!"

"That's what you say every time," Jimin chuckles as he starts his car with a press of a button. "Now, cupcakes or brownies?"

"Huh? Um, cupcakes?"

"Great! We'll stop by the market to get some ingredients. We're going to learn how to bake!"

Oh no. Why did that sound like a disaster waiting to happen?

But surprisingly, it was a miracle waiting to happen. You stuff your face with aesthetic, black frosting, occasionally biting at the soft, plush bread. "To think we can bake cupcakes but not cook ramen right the first time," you chuckle.

"To be fair, we actually used directions," Jimin says, neatly slicing up his cupcake to eat piece by piece.

You scrunch your nose. "You look like a prince who's too snooty to eat with his own two hands."

"Or maybe I want to be hygienic? You know, unlike you," Jimin teases as you huff in response. Jimin pokes at you, making you turn to him in exasperation.

"What?" you sigh.

"I dunno... I never really got a chance to thank you..."

You raise your eyebrows, thoroughly confused. "I mean, but it was a team effort..." you try to say modestly. "Besides, I didn't do much of the teaching. I mean can you believe this girl didn't know how to fac—"

Jimin rushes in for a hug, knocking the wind out of you—you lose all train of thought, you lose your voice and all sense of functionality. All you can hear is your heart beating wildly in your chest and Jimin's steady breaths against your ear.

"Y/N... Thank you," he whispers, gripping you tighter. "I know it was you who came up with the idea. And I just—I'm so touched. When I told you my problems, I only expected you to listen, maybe, I don't know, sympathize? But you took my problems and found a solution, putting it into action. No one's ever done that for me before... I don't even know what to say..." your teacher trails off, still hugging you tightly. "I'm emotional, I know... But I almost broke down crying when I saw you and your friends hosting this club... all for me."

Your brain turns into mush at Jimin's heartfelt confession, and you can't help but hug him back, burying your face into his shoulder. Words can't seem to make it past your mouth—you can't afford to ruin the moment by saying something completely stupid.

But that's when you feel it. The rapid thumping of a heart. Except it's not yours—it's beating faster than yours.

It's Jimin's.

You walk into Jimin's class slightly earlier than usual, your phone pressed against your ear as you bob your head up and down, staying silent for a few seconds and then talking away.

"I know, I know, I miss you too, Jin," you say just as you slide into your comfortable seat, slipping your backpack off your aching shoulder.

"Yeah, I know, I love you too. Of course, I'm still alive!" you huff, rolling your eyes. "And no! I didn't burn the house down... yet. No, we don't eat ramen daily—we eat it every other day," you protest.

You're quiet again as Jin gives you a piece of his mind.

"Yes, I know ramen's bad for me," you sigh. "Fine. We'll try to make salad or something today. Mhm. Yeah. Yes, I'm in his class right now. No, Jin! I can't just hand my phone over to him, are you out of your mind? You can call him on his phone at some other time."

You sigh loudly as your cousin rambles on the phone. "Wait. What?!" you suddenly shriek, causing a few early-comers in the class to stare at you in shellshock. Quickly lowering your head in embarrassment, you aggressively grasp your phone with both hands. "What do you mean you're going to be away for another month?" you whisper angrily. "Are you serious? Why does the drama team have to be so good?"

Jin chuckles on the line as you pout. "I know, congrats and all but you've been away for too long. Stop teasing me, I just miss you!" you huff.

Your cousin attempts to explain himself as you sit through it all, nodding your head occasionally. "Okay, then," you say in a sad, defeated tone. "I guess, good luck... Anyways, I've got a test this period, gotta fly." You pause, frowning. "Of course I studied! Who do you think I am?! Yeah, well thanks, I'm pretty confident. Mhm. Yeah. Have fun. Love you too. Yup. Bye." Smiling softly, you end the call with your cousin, slipping your phone into your backpack to replace it with your lucky pencil and eraser. There, now you're completely ready for the math test.

From the corner of your eye, you see Jimin, watching you. When he catches your sight, he gives you a small smile paired with a discreet thumbs-up. Your heart flutters.

Gosh darn diddly dang.

Ever since that night you felt his heart beating wildly in his chest, you can't help but wonder if maybe, possibly, hopefully, you're not in a one-sided crush. It was pretty plausible Jimin had always been so caring because he liked you back—either that or he majorly friendzoned you.

The annoying school bell blares, throwing you out of your thoughts, and as if exactly on cue, your teacher stands up from his desk, taking graceful steps to the front of the class. He clears his throat to gain the attention of still-rowdy students. "I hope everybody's prepared," Jimin says as he shifts from the weight of stacked tests. "If you studied polar curves as I said, you'll be fine for the unit test."

A low murmur fills the class as your peers start to panic.

"What the fuck is a polar curve?"

"Shit, I don't even know what unit this is!"

"Definite integrals, you shithead."

"Well goddamn, I'm gonna fail again."

You cock your head. Yeah, definite integrals might be challenging at first, but they weren't hard—it just required a lot of practice. But something told you most of your classmates didn't even know how to spell 'practice.'

As Jimin passes the tests out, you hear students groan from their first glance of questions.

"No noise, no talking!" your friend reminds his students. "If you need extra scratch paper, pencils or erasers, they're up here in the front; you know the drill. Good luck to you all!"

But you can barely hear your teacher as you're already racing to finish up a problem on the exam. You've figured long ago that Jimin's test questions were always in order from hardest to easiest—which explains why most kids rarely finish. You, on the other hand, learned to immediately flip over your tests and work your way from the back to front.

You don't hear anything, nor do you see anything except for the all too familiar graphs and curves printed out on white paper. Your favorite pencil flies across the exam faster than your mile time, and soon, you're finished.

Wiping your sweaty and cramped hands on your jeans, you look up at the clock in the front of the classroom. You've finished at least twenty minutes early. You sigh softly. I don't feel like checking answers.

Almost instinctively, your eyes glance at your teacher's desk—it was starting to become a habit to look at him. But also, you wanted to see if he was grading the math tests from earlier periods. Except, he most clearly wasn't.

Why? Because he was looking at you. And your eyes meet. Electricity courses through your veins and you swear your heart stops beating for a few seconds. You can't hold the gaze as you quickly turn your head, releasing a breath you didn't know you had held.

Goddamn. Now, this is awkward.

Trying to shake off the awkwardness, you take a small breath and grip your pencil in your hands again. Maybe it's time to check answers.

Except—except, you can see out of the corner of your eye, your teacher still watching you. It wasn't a creepy stare though, no. It was like a handsome prince lovingly admiring his beautiful princess. Well, you were no beautiful princess, and though Jimin might be handsome, he was no prince. But still. His gaze made you feel... secure and even admired. Your heart flutters in your chest.

Why is he watching me?

You're too scared of the answer to even possibly ponder it.

So, sighing quietly, you use all your willpower to pretend like your teacher is not watching you as you cross your legs and tuck a strand of loose hair behind your ear. You give your lucky pencil a nice squeeze. It's time to check answers.

"Did you know you frown when you concentrate?" Jimin asks as he does the dishes, diligently washing a bowl that had been previously filled with a healthy salad.

You sit on the kitchen counter, making some tea as you cock your head. From all that watching, he would know all of my stupid behaviors when it comes to test-taking. But you feign ignorance. "How would you know?"

"Well, not to sound weird but sometimes I watch my students take their tests," Jimin says as he dries his wet hands on a nearby towel, then sauntering over to sit next to you on the kitchen counter.

Your heart falls. So I'm not special. He watches everyone.

"No, not all of my students... I only ever watch you," your teacher admits as he scratches the back of his neck in what seems like slight embarrassment.

Your heart leaps in your chest. You don't know how to pirouette, twirl, turn, but your heart was surely doing it at the moment. Was this it? Was he confessing? Were you not in a one-sided crush?

"It's because I care for you," he starts awkwardly. "I mean, don't you tend to watch things you care for? Just to see if they're alright? I dunno..."

Ohohoho, you have no idea.

You nod enthusiastically. "Mhm, of course." Your lips stretch out into a large smile—you're unable to control it. You feel warmer than the cup of tea in your hands. "So you truly care for me?" you tease slightly, casually nudging Jimin.

He nudges you back, laughing. "Of course, Y/N, you're like a best friend to me."

Your eye twitches slightly, your smiles wavers and vanishes and you don't feel as warm anymore.

Well shit, you were friendzoned.

Smiling in accomplishment, you stretch back from your seat, mentally celebrating the finishing of your homework. Your blasted teachers had given you some extra weekend work, but jokes on them, you finished it all in—you glance at your watch—seven hours.

Wait a minute. Seven hours?! You do a double-take, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand and polishing the glass of your watch. The delicate, silver hands still pointed all signs that it was indeed, 10 pm.

Well fuck. I've literally been at school seven more hours than I should've. I've been at school for practically 15 hours! That's more than half of the hours in a day—I spent approximately 63% of the whole day at school!!! And even worse, I mISSED DINNER!

You take deep breaths to calm yourself, immediately looking up to see—no surprise—Jimin working hard at his desk. His eyebrows were scrunched up cutely, and he was biting his pink lips in concentration. The sight of him instantaneously calms you down.

But then you notice Jimin looks frustrated, stressed even. You always admire him for taking care of his own problems, yet sometimes you wish he'd learn to burden others with his dilemmas.

Slowly and quietly, you creep up behind your teacher, looking over his shoulder. "Need any help, Mr. Park?" you whisper in his ear, a small, teasing smile plastered on your lips.

Jimin jumps slightly, turning around to look at you. His serious look is replaced with a reciprocated bright smile. He flutters his eyelashes and runs his fingers through his silky hair, refusing to break eye contact with you. "Oh c'mon no one's around," he says, chuckling. "Jimin will do."

"Yeah, no shit no one's around," you pout slightly, casually placing your chin on Jimin's shoulder. Ever since he majorly friendzoned you, you have to admit it was easier to have physical contact—though your heart beats wildly in your chest every time the two of you touch.

"Hmm..." your teacher hums, twirling his red correcting pen. "It'll take just a bit more... Is our little Y/N bored?" he asks as he reaches out to mockingly pat your head.

You groan dramatically.

"What time is it?" Jimin asks absentmindedly, letting your head rest on his shoulder.

"10," you mutter lazily, wanting to doze off with your face up against Jimin's warm neck.

"WHAT?!" your teacher shouts, shifting suddenly to grasp your arms and bring your whole body in front of him. He even tugs you forward, closer to him. Your heart is already having its own mini explosions, not being able to comprehend such closeness from your ultimate crush.

"Why didn't you tell me it was this late, Y/N?" Jimin cries. "Shit, I'm so sorry, I made you wait so long! God, I lost track of time!"

You just shrug, although a bit surprised at his outburst. At this moment, you're just worried Jimin'll hear the aggressive thumping of your poor heart—it can't take this anymore. You're definitely not built for unrequited love. "It's all good," you say, trying to smile calmly. "It's no big deal, really."

Apparently, your stomach thinks otherwise as it lets loose a large growl, much to your horrification. "Oops," you whisper.

At that, Jimin runs his fingers through his hair, sighing. "Fuck, we've been here for seven hours, Y/N, it is a big deal!" He grabs both of your hands, taking you by surprise. "We skipped dinner! I swear to god, Jin will kill me if he found out!"

You giggle. It was slightly amusing to watch Jimin fret so much. "What if we don't tell him?" you whisper mischievously, leaning forward. You're trying so, so hard not to scream in the utter joy that your crush is literally holding your hands right now.

Nope, I'm not going to acknowledge that at all, you tell yourself dutifully.

Now you're waiting for Jimin to answer, to say something funny, or witty as usual. Yet, he doesn't. Instead, he's actually quite silent—it doesn't seem normal. You take a peek at his face to make sure he doesn't look sick or anything, or maybe it was just a dumb excuse you made up to check his ethereal features out.

That turned out to be a big mistake.

You peer into Jimin's eyes, only to catch them looking at your lips. His eyes flutter back up to yours, and now the two of you are staring at each other. Your eyes speak a language only the two of you can understand.

His eyes tell you to inch closer to him, to part your lips.

Your eyes tell him to tug you into his lap, an all too familiar action. He doesn't let go of your hands.

You can feel his breath, hear his breath.

Hell, you can hear his heart. And you're not mistaken—you swear on your own life that you hear the quickened pounding.

And still, you're staring right into his soft, but slightly hooded eyes—never breaking contact. You're so close. So, so close to him, the closest you've ever been.

He slowly, tantalizingly slowly leans in, almost to give you a chance to back out. Oh, hell no. You're staying.

His beautiful, breathtaking face is so close that your eyes are almost crossing to meet his. Then, he closes his eyes just as he closes the minuscule gap between the two of you.

Your lips meet.

You don't know how something can go by so quickly and slowly at the same time. Each movement of your connected mouths is so languid, so relaxed, yet quick, but victorious fireworks are exploding behind you.

Straddling Jimin, you feel his body heat, your bare legs chafing against the smooth material of his slacks. It's so close to heaven that it is.

He works his magic, lips pulling and parting at the precise moments, his tongue finding its way into your waiting mouth. You can barely function from the heat of the moment, but you realize that you are glad he doesn't taste like beer this time.

Jimin sweetly squeezes your hands that are encompassed in his, leaning back slightly for both of you to breathe. Immediately, your eyes are open, and they lock onto his. But as if in a time restraint, both of you hurriedly shut your eyes again and lean in to meet each other's lips once more.

It's euphoric, really.

And for the first time in your life, you get to feel what physical affection is like. This one's not a lustful, drunken kiss, it's so much more than that. You put your heart in this, and you hope Jimin did the same. It surely felt like it.

With one last, sweet and soft, lingering kiss, your teacher, crush and friend leisurely pulls away. You almost lean forward to follow his lips—you guess you miss them on yours that much.

Your eyes flutter open, meeting Jimin's hooded ones.

Goddamn. You don't know how to feel, what to say, what to do, what to think. Your hands are still tightly enclosed in his.

"Oh..." you breathe out, hoping Jimin would say something for you, anything. But he doesn't. He remains silent. It's so not like him.

Regret starts to pour into your body, coursing through your veins. It feels like poison. You can feel yourself wilt, as you realize—it was still one-sided, Jimin had merely been caught up in the heat of the moment, again.

"Fuck," you whisper, mostly to yourself. "Fuck," you say louder, tears starting to well up in your eyes. Jimin loosens his grip on your hands, and you slide them away, the warmth all gone. You search for your teacher's face for anything, any sign that he was okay with what both of you had just done. But again, nothing.

"Oh my god. What have we done?" you mutter, looking down and away. You were yet to slide away from Jimin's lap, but you couldn't bear to move away from that sort of comforting warmth.

"Shit, Y/N," Jimin breathes. It's the first phrase he says after the... well, kiss. "I'm so sorry," he mutters, his hand fluttering around your face to cup your cheek, but you flinch away. Goddammit, Y/N, why?

"Fuck, I'm so sorry, Y/N," Jimin whispers, he tugs his hand back to his chest. "It was a mistake! I didn't mean it. Oh god, don't tell Jin." He notices you're still on his lap and jumps up, making you fall down onto the cold, classroom floor—you're too shocked to react much. "God, I'm so sorry!" He tries to help you up, but you shake your head and stand up on your own.

"Y/N. I'm so sorry. It was a mistake," Jimin repeats. "It really was."

Your head is spinning, and you don't know what to say, or do, for that matter. "Then, a mistake it was," you finally manage to say, your voice a bit shaky. "Can we go now?"

I made out with him again. And he wasn't even drunk this time.

You repeatedly have that thought, over and over and over again. You can't seem to get the feeling, the sounds, the sight out of your head. You'd given your all into that little kiss, but Jimin deemed it was merely 'a mistake.'

That didn't hurt at all, nope, not at all.

You're quite good at lying to yourself. Because you know that hurt you a lot. God, I'm so humiliated. You just want to roll up in a small ball and throw yourself into a deep, dark corner. But you can't. Unfortunately, that shit is only figurative.

Sighing, you take a slight peek at Jimin in the driver's seat. His face is completely emotionless, which makes you worry.

We just ruined a perfectly good friendship, goddammit.

You're dropped off at your house; no words are exchanged between you and Jimin, you don't even turn back to give him a parting wave (like you usually do). Unlocking your front door, you quickly walk inside, slumping down to the floor immediately. With your back leaning heavily against the door, you bury your face in your hands.

Things had been going so well. Life had been going so well.

Now it seemed like you lost your best friend—who knows what more you might lose?

—previous | next

—masterlist

#jimin #park jimin #jimin fanfiction #jimin imagine #bts #bts fanfiction #jimin fluff #jimin angst #teacher au #jimin fanfic #illegirl

129 notes · View notes

slipperyskell · 4 years

Text

Cicero Headcanons

Yup. It’s time for dirty gremlin jester boi headcanons. Prepare thine bootyholes.

+ Very small lad. 5’ at most, and only 80 pounds when he first gets to Skyrim. He does gain a bit of weight as time goes on and he’s got access to food on a regular basis, but even then, he’s 100 pounds soaking wet. Very small boi.

+ Mid to late thirties, early forties at most. He’s been involved with the Brotherhood most all of his life. Was in the Bruma sanctuary first, and spent most of his twenties there until he was transferred to Cheydinhal. Spent the rest of his twenties and most of his thirties in Cheydinhal, then headed out to Skyrim. Only stayed in the Dawnstar Sanctuary for a couple of months before finally heading to Falkreath.

+ He does like his sweetrolls and carrots in particular, but more as a snack than a staple. He’s actually quite fond of a lot of food, and despite his tiny size, he can and will eat quite a bit! He didn’t have access to much of anything fresh during his time in Cheydinhal, and once he did, he garnered a new appreciation for his fruits and veggies. Hates mushrooms, though. Absolutely despises them if they’re cooked.

+ Is bi/pan, and demisexual. Before he came to Cheydinhal, he kind of took people for granted, in a sense. After contracts he would sometimes spend a bit of his money on some... rewards, shall we say. After everything that happens to him afterwards, however, he is FAR more grateful for good, genuine company. The lad needs a friend, and/or smooches. NSFW happenings aren’t completely off the table, but it takes a LOT of trust and reassurance on his end for him to want to get intimate with someone again. And I mean a lot.

+ He has a lot of tricks up his sleeves. Literally. His outfit is decked out with all sorts of secrets to give him an edge in a fight if he absolutely needs it. Steel toes at the ends of his boots, mini knife compartments also in boots and pretty much everywhere else on his person, knuckles in his gloves, and lots and lots of pockets.

+ Very early riser. When it’s the designated day of the week for oiling mother, he wakes up as early as five in the morning. It’s a very time consuming process, and he likes to get it out of the way as soon as he can so he has time to do other things. Otherwise, he may sleep in till seven at the latest. That being said, if he is sharing his bed with someone, he’s incredibly careful to not wake them, and once he’s done and all cleaned up, he comes back to wake them for the day.

+ Before getting a bit more settled in Skyrim (kind of Falkreath, but more Dawnstar, should he be spared during the Cure for Madness), he had issues with not taking care of himself properly due to issues with disassociation caused by his time in Cheydinhal. Didn’t bathe regularly, didn’t eat regularly. It isn’t until he’s among the company of his family (and was likely fed up with getting shit talked, if I’m going to be honest) that he makes a bit more of an effort to care for himself. Having someone as kind and caring as the listener certainly helps, however.

+ He had some pretty greasy ass hair before he started bathing properly again (the hair we see him with in-game). Once it’s all nice and clean and brushed out, though? Floof. Big ol floofy mane of copper hair.

+ He’s very, very well read on the history of the Dark Brotherhood. Quite the fan of Lucien Lachance, funnily enough. (I’ll get into some headcanons about these two nerds in the future if anyone is interested).

+ Him switching to third person is a very telling sign if he’s having anxiety issues or is otherwise upset. People with mental problems similar to him often switch to third person as a way to comfort themselves. It allows them to disassociate a bit, to make it feel like whatever is happening to them isn’t actually happening to them.

+ That being said, Cicero’s madness is likely comprised of survivor’s guilt (kind of a given), PTSD, and potential issues with bipolar and/or multiple personality disorder. He can certainly be helped, and his past isolation is largely to blame and can assumably be combated against, but it will always leave a mark on his psyche.

+ His laughter can be used as a nervous tic. Not all the time, but sometimes.

+ Speaking of tics and stims, this lad. This boy right here. He jiggle he leggy. He taps his fingers on the table, or his thighs, or wherever his hands may be. Has a habit of feeling at his face whenever he’s thinking, and sometimes picks at it if he’s feeling really anxious. He can’t keep still to save his soul.

+ Has an odd but fitting habit of keeping everything very neat and tidy. During his time in Cheydinhal, he didn’t really have anything else to do when he wasn’t tending to mother, so he spent a lot of his time making everything spic and span, despite him being the only person living there. The place was found almost unnaturally clean when he left. And just like that, in Falkreath (and especially Dawnstar, as he prides that place as HIS sanctuary), he keeps everything very nice and clean to keep himself busy when he isn’t tending to mother.

+ Actually a way better singer than he lets on. A lot of the time, when he “sings”, he’s just screwing around, but when he actually tries? Surprisingly good.

+ When he and the Listener are traveling together, he likes doing a lot of riddles and stuff to keep both himself and his dear listener entertained. Makes I Spy With My Little Eye actually fun.

+ Speaking of him and his relations with the Listener... this lad? This tiny boio right here? Absolutely provides contract advice, as well as leadership advice should they need it (and chances are, they will). When he first brings up such things, he’s uncertain. A bit anxious, worried they may take offense to him providing such a thing despite his experience. But with enough encouragement, he breaks out of his shell and provides his thoughts much more regularly. This lad craves validation, especially when it comes to things like this. He’s very... creative.

+ Very, very appreciative of the outdoors when he comes to Skyrim. He gets cold hella easy, sure, and he hates being cold, but to see the sun again? To see the light glimmering off a lake or river? To see grass and tree branches bending in a gentle breeze? To feel rain on his face, and see lightning flash across the sky and thunder rumbling after it? To see the aurora borealis Skyrim’s night sky so readily offers? He would trade anything in the world to see it again.

+ Fascinated by all things shouts and dragons. He’s like the only person I know who actually comments positively on the Dragonborn shouting.

“For someone known as the Listener, you do an awful lot of shouting!”

“Oh! Hahaha! What a fun trick! Teach me, teach me!”

He never new dragons had actually existed until Skyrim, and while he is respectful of their power and rather wary of them, he still finds them immensely fascinating.

+ That being said, the whole notion of dragons coming back to life, along with the civil war breaking out among Skyrim’s people, really does set him on edge. He’s seen and known enough war, and prospect of even MAYBE having to deal with more stresses him out.

+ He needs to have some form of background noise when he sleeps. Otherwise it gets far too quiet, and it makes him very anxious.

+ As I had stated in a previous artwork post of mine, if he’s in the sanctuary and the listener is away, he spends a lot of his time in the torture chamber if he’s got nothing else to do. While he’s no longer able to fulfill his own contracts, it doesn’t mean he’s entirely forbidden to kill. Besides, he’s got lots of time and subjects, willing or not, to test out all sorts of wonderful, twisted little ideas on. More than likely excitedly shows the Listener what he’s been up to while they were gone.

+ Very heavy drinker. Has had to cope with a ton of shit, and while he knows, deep down, it’s not the right way to deal with things... no one really wanted to talk to him. Hear about his problems. He could rant to mother all he wanted, sure, but... it just wasn’t the same. That’s not to say mother doesn’t care; without a doubt, she does, but for him, not having any kind of response makes it all the more frustrating.

+ That being said, his go-to drink is usually wine. And he tends to get very moody on wine. Be careful. You might get an earful.

Aight folks, this is about all I have on general/main Cicero headcanons. If y’all want me to do more on specific things, like romance, NSFW happenings, or interactions between him and certain canon characters (or my own, if/when I get to introducing them properly here), y’all lemme know. I hope you enjoy! :D

#cicero #cicero skyrim #skyrim cicero #fool of hearts #cicero jester #jester cicero #the dark brotherhood #lucien lachance #cicero headcanon time #skyrim #the elder scrolls

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oh-phineas · 3 years

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Emma’s 2020 Questionnaire!

Your Name: Emma Characters: Phineas Flynn, Tiana Truitt, Aquata Triton, Henry Charming, Evelyn Deavor Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now? I’m going to talk about Phineas because I’ve had him for the longest and I think he’s the one I’ve been able to spend the most time developing. So basically something I struggled with when I first picked up Phineas was how he deals with people he doesn’t like, because in the show I don’t think he really dislikes anyone. And I feel like this drama with Tony recently has finally helped me crack what Phineas’s deal is when it comes to conflict-- he doesn’t really feel down about it unless he feels like his character is being questioned, and that’s why with Wilbur he’s mostly like whatever while with Tony and Lock (in the past) Phineas has gotten petty and vindictive-- he doesn’t like the role he’s found himself in and he takes that personally if that makes sense. (Also Phineas just way prioritizes his job with Cornelius over getting back at Wilbur, even if he’ll make the occasional jab at Wilbur in Among Us or on Twitter). So that’s been really cool to explore. And I think he’s also gotten a little less finance-bro-y than I originally intended, but I think that side of him will definitely come out once he graduates and goes to uni. I think the thing I’m most proud of with him is kind of maintaining that balance between being totally likeable and fun while also pretty infuriating and obtuse, like he’s a sweet and well-meaning person who’s also really annoying and idk I think I do that balance well.

Pick another character (or the same character if you only have one) and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year? I’m really excited to see where Tiana goes! Ever since I picked her up, I’ve been focused on this goal of getting the restaurant to happen and now that I’ve done that, there are a lot of possibilities. I want to see Tiana burn out from the stress a little bit-- maybe take on more than she can handle because a big part of her arc has been learning to accept help and collaborate with people, and I got to do that a lot with planning Tiana’s Place, but I would also really like to see that continue because those tendencies don’t really go away. I also want LOVE for Tiana even though I keep saying she doesn’t have time for it-- I want her to get a stupid crush that distracts her from work lol I think it could be really fun. And I’m also really excited to keep developing all her friendships, I love all of her Swynlake native connections and PRINCESS HOUSE and other small business owners and now that she really feels like she has put down roots with her restaurant, I want to see her branching out more.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it. In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths. Ok sorry to keep talking about Tiana I promise I have other characters but I’m really proud of all of the different characters I incorporated into the Tiana’s Place opening. My goal was to make a real community effort to show that, no matter how much she wanted to do it on her own, she still has a whole group of people supporting her and who have a stake in it-- from Nuka and Ratigan in the beginning with the financial stuff to Clara and Toulouse and Laszlo with the music/art to Jun and Al for business advice to all the people who donated to the raffle. And the raffle was so fun and I hope people use that for plots!!

I also gotta shout out one more: writing the pirates AU Phineas and Ferb stuff was so much fun and really pushed me as a writer I think. I was a little uneasy going into pirates because action/movement/fights are not my strong suit and I knew there would be a lot of that. But the generated stuff was really helpful in kickstarting some ideas and Sid was so great to work with on that. I thought we got really creative and personally I had so much fun and I hope other people did too.

In terms of strengths for my writing-- I think I’m good with flaws? Like even characters who are really sweet and nice (I’m looking at you Henry) I think I try to show the different sides of them and explore how you can be both really well-meaning and really misguided at the same time. And I think that’s good because it has the potential to cause conflict and drive forward more plots where there’s no clear ~bad guy~ just flawed people trying their best and that’s the most interesting stuff to me. Of course I also love big bads! I think macro plots are really important. I think my niche though is those petty little conflicts and I think I do a good job with them.

I’m adding another too because you know what why not. I think I've gotten pretty creative recently?? Like I’ve done some really weird fun stuff this year-- Henry and Jake’s acapella audition is up there as one of my favorite threads, and I’m really excited about Tiana and Aurora’s fake date and Greg and Q doing Santa’s Workshop and I think Henry’s first open was one of my favorite opens I’ve done. Idk I think one of my insecurities about RP has always been that I worry I don’t bring enough ideas to the table with plotting and I think I’m getting better at letting my brain dream up weird cool stuff.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

Like I said, plotting is still something I struggle with-- I spent the majority of my early RP experience in a very gif-chat-heavy open-heavy fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants rp, so coming to BDRP even back during round 1 in 2017, plotting was a big surprise to me. And this is also something that I struggle with in my non-RP writing-- story arc and structure is something I have always wanted to improve. But I think I’m getting better at fleshing out ideas and not putting too much pressure on myself. And I think I’m also getting better at stepping out of my comfort zone and messaging people I don’t write with as often which is important because literally everyone here is so fun and talented! So I want to keep doing that. I know I can be a little shy sometimes (this sounds SO weird I never shut up lol but it’s how I feel) and I don’t want that to hold me back

In terms of actual writing stuff, I’d like to expand my vocabulary a bit more? I think I use certain words and phrasing so often that it annoys me and maybe it annoys no one else and my writing will be worse if I try to throw in unnecessary words but yeah. I think reading more will help with that. And in general I just really want to get better at thinking stuff through and building story arcs.

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. (They don’t have to be books, either!)

Ev is the one I feel like I need to do the most development on so here goes!

1. Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, specifically the character Nora

Messy nerd girls! Messy nerd girls! Please recommend me more things with messy nerd girls! Nora is basically Ev’s exterior, the person people know her as. She’s chaotic and fun and relatable, and also kind of a genius.

2. Macbeth, specifically the character Lady Macbeth

This is one I wanna dive into! I’ve seen a heavily abridged version of Macbeth and that’s about it but I have a copy sitting on my desk. I love a villain who likes to stay behind the scenes and pull the strings, and while Ev is in this for “moral reasons” (lol) she’s also in this for #power. I’m not used to playing manipulative villains-- I’m usually more of a henchperson type deal, so the ultimate 4-D chess gal would be some good inspo.

3. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, specifically Professor Quirrell.

Ok I am really sorry to bring Harry Potter into this but I think something that’s important about Ev is that one of the things distracting from her villainy is her vague air of incompetency. We know she’s very smart and she has the whole nutty-professor thing going, but she’s kind of a mess and I want characters to underestimate her. I think Quirrell’s vibe of being nervous about everything is similar to Ev’s messy exterior and I would love a good end-of-the-book villain reveal. And now, a wishlist! Jot down a few themes or stories or genres etc that you want to maybe pursue in the upcoming year! (i.e. a good ol’ fashion forbidden romance, maybe you want to dig deep into racial identity etc) This doesn’t have to necessarily be attached to any characters or stories you have now– it’s just meant to help you see for yourself what kind of stories call to your heart.

Oooh so many things. Generally more romance-- I always hesitate a little with shipping IDK WHY maybe it’s insecurity about jumping into what always feels like a bit plot to me lol. But I wanna take that plunge more-- especially with Tiana! But I’m pretty much open to stuff with anyone, especially really silly rom-com type stuff. I also think that my shipping niche is super complicated stuff with villains (the irony and craziness of the Henleigh situation is so FASCINATING and FUN and I want MORE OF THAT) so just saying a I’m-flirting-with-you-because-you’re-a-good-ally-to-have-on-my-side-oh-no-I’m-actually-falling-for-you thing with Ev could be really fun (LISTEN her entire tag is just shipping content. I scroll through so much of it so of course it gave me some ideas)

I’m also REALLY jazzed about the uni stuff going on right now. Like I’ve said before, I think college is a really interesting place and so much weird shit happens there because you have all these 18-22 year olds living in close quarters and they come up with weird ways to entertain themselves. The secret santa/RA stuff has me loling every day and I just love stuff like that. Like, I’d love to have shenanigans like people sneaking into dorms and staying up until 3 am in the library and all that stuff. I just love that stuff.

Also I am really trying to do big bad stuff with Ev!! As I have mentioned... plotting and story arcs are a major thing I’m trying to work on, so it’s a lot to think about, but I would really just love to do all kinds of things-- I’d love to have her enable small-time villains, or manipulate people who are easily swayed, or to trick people. It’s a new area for me, but it’s something I’m excited about and I want to challenge myself.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP?

Because I literally can’t stop apparently lol. No but the thing I love about RP is getting to collaborate on a story and getting surprised by people, getting to geek out about something that I can also participate in, and having NO RULES. I think there’s something really special about having an interest that I can’t monetize or market, that I can do for pure fun out of my love of creating and writing. And I love having a community of people on the ride with me. It’s so much fun and I’m so grateful for you guys!

I always end with a gif so here’s my favorite gif it legit makes me laugh out loud

#bdrptask #this is just word vomit #enjoy

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thetravelerwrites · 5 years

Text

Fuzz (MLM Mothman) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Male Human/Male Mothman Additional Tags: Exophilia, Mothman, Male Reader, Male Monster, D&D, Dungeons & Dragons, Tabletop Gaming, Interspecies Romance, Social Anxiety, Gay Monster, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Anal Sex, Safe Sex, Condoms Words: 7185

A fun commission for @severedreamerbeard. A man meets a shy silkmoth mothman in a hobby store during a free comic day, and invites him to play D&D with his friends. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

Free Comic Friday always drew a huge crowd in your favorite local comic shop, but it was packed to the rafters today. The first issue of a graphic novel reboot had dropped and they were offering five hundred free copies, first come first served. You’d been dying to get your hands on it since the reboot had been announced, and you couldn’t believe it was finally out.

Happily swinging the bag around, you didn’t leave immediately once you got your copy like most of the crowd had done. This was one of your favorite places to hang out. It wasn’t like a lot of comic shops that seemed to only attract one demographic; there was always a nice mix of different people. Tabletop gamers, comic enthusiasts, collectors of various nerdy things, cosplayers who needed supplies to make their costumes: all sorts came through here and you loved it.

You got a text from your friend, Shannon, who knew you’d be there and snickered. She’d lost her D20, again, and wanted you to pick up another one in blue, preferably with sparklies so that it matched her current favorite set. Rolling your eyes and smirking, you headed for the dice aisle.

To your surprise, there was a very large, tall mothman standing there, though he was hunched over a little, rolling a die over and over. It was a new type of die that lit up when you rolled it, and the moth’s eyes brightened every time he saw the lights inside activate.

He was almost all white and extremely fluffy; the fluffiest part of him was the ruff around his neck. His large wings were folded against his back, complete with long tails on each like a lunar moth. He had four arms, the top pair larger than the lower pair, which were sort of wrapped around himself, and his hands had two long, large fingers and a thumb each, all a velvety brown in color. He wore no clothing, only a baseball cap with his brown, feather-like antennae sticking out of the holes at the top. The cap said “Will Work for Cuddles” on it.

Mothmen were rare, and you’d seen one or two before, but you’d never been close enough to one to actually talk to them.

“That’s a great set,” You said. “They just got them in last week.”

The mothman jumped, startled, but he grinned a little. “Heh…” He stammered nervously. “Yeah. I… I hate to perpetuate a stereotype, but I am attracted to things that light up.”

He spoke softly, like he was nervous people would hear him. It was cute, but you almost worried about him. The poor thing must have been terrified to come in here with so many people, but the pull of nerd junk can be strong sometimes.

“Do you play?” You asked him, gesturing at the die.

“Play?” The replied, confused.

“Yeah, D&D,” You said, and after a moment of him continuing to look confused, you elaborated. “Dungeons and Dragons. The tabletop game. What you use these dice for.”

“Oh!” He exclaimed, fidgeting. “No, I… I’ve never played. I’ve always wanted to, but… none of my friends are into nerdy stuff like I am. That and I’m kind of new in town, so I haven’t met many people yet. I was lucky to find this hobby shop. I was just walking past and saw it and figured I’d stop in. Is it always this busy?”

“On free comic day, absolutely,” I said with a smile. “So... not to be creepy since it’s literally the first time we’ve met, but my friends and I play every Sunday evening. We’re actually about to start a brand new campaign. You’re more than welcome to join. If you like, you can come ‘round Saturday at lunch and we can build you a character sheet, so that your prepared for the campaign.”

“Really?” He said, his voice timid but excited. “I’d love that! Thanks so much!”

“It’s no trouble,” You said, pulling out your phone. “Here, put your info in my phone and I’ll text you my address.”

He took your phone with a big grin on his face and put in his number. You took your phone back and looked.

“Fuzz?” You asked. “That’s a little on the nose, ain’t it?”

He laughed, a really pleasant sound. “It’s a nickname. Uh…listen… I… I’m actually on my lunch break, so I need to get back to work, but… I’m really looking forward to playing with you and your friends. I’ve always wanted to try.”

“We’d love to have you,” You told him, smiling. He bade you farewell and left, looking back before he headed out of the door and smiling widely at you one last time.

You looked down at the light-up dice, pursed your lips, and snatched up a whole set of them plus a carry bag. You were halfway to the check out when you realized you forgot Shannon’s D20 and doubled back for it.

The next day at lunchtime, Fuzz arrived at your home with pizza in his hand. You were going to throw together some grilled cheeses, but this was way better.

“Thanks, man,” You said, taking it and setting it on the counter in your apartment.

“No prob,” Fuzz replied. His neck ruff seemed to have been brushed shiny and the hat he wore today said “Nap Champion.” “I didn’t know what kind of toppings you’d like, so I just went for a good ol’ cheese.”

“I love cheese,” You told him. “I’ve got you a fresh character sheet printed out and the manual ready. You can look through it while I’m plating this up. What would you like to drink? I’ve got soda, beer, water, and apple juice.”

“Is it… weird if I ask for juice?” He said shyly, hunching his shoulders. “It’s better for my stomach than the other things.”

“Apple juice it is,” You said, pouring a glass. You took the plates and cups to the table, watching Fuzz go over the character sheet with a dumbfounded look on his face.

“I am very confused,” He murmured, almost to himself.

You laughed. “Well, that’s why you’re here. I’ll teach you.” I sat next to him and took a big bite of pizza. “Okay, so, first, you’re going to choose your race. It makes everything after that a little bit easier. I know this sheet tells you to choose a name first, but choosing a name is easier if you know what race you are, because certain races have naming conventions. Like, Tabaxis have tribal naming conventions, so you can’t choose a name like… Frank, for example.”

“Got it,” Fuzz said.

“Take a look at mine,” You said, pulling out your own character sheet full of annotations and stats. “My character is a calashite human cleric, which is like a priest, devoted to the god of knowledge, and my alignment is Lawful-Good. Now, most races will have default alignments, but you can decide what you want yours to be.”

“Okay,” Fuzz replied, trying to keep it all straight. “Hmm… are there any insect races I can play as?”

“Unfortunately, no,” You told him. “But, the cool thing about fantasy is that you can be whatever you want.”

“But I want to be a bug,” He said dryly.

You snorted. “Just look through and see if there’s something you like.”

“Oh!” He exclaimed, pointing at a drider. “That’s a bug!”

“That’s an arachnid,” I pointed out.

“Same difference,” He said.

“Don’t spiders eat moths?” You joked.

“I will take my pizza and go home, mister,” Fuzz said, poking fun right back. You were glad he was getting comfortable enough with you to joke around.

“Driders aren’t playable either,” You replied, laughing. “What about a shifter? That way you can take on aesthetic characteristics an insect, if you like. And the single-skins have white hair, like your fur.”

“Okay, okay,” Fuzz said. “What about a name?”

“Shifters usually have monosyllabic names, so anything you can think of with a single syllable.”

“Like Fuzz, you mean?”

“Are you really going to call your character by your real name?” You asked, smiling.

He smiled back, his lips the same velvety brown as his antennae and hands. “I told you, it’s a nickname. Trust me, it’s better than my real one. Only my parents and siblings know that.”

“Not even your girlfriend?” You asked him.

“Ah… no girlfriend,” He said, shrugging shyly and ducking his head, his antennae waving a little erratically. “I.. uh… don’t lean that way, if you know what I mean.”

You waved your hand. “I’m bi, so no judgment,” You told him, and he relaxed.

You both settled on alignment, level, and class, and then it was time to roll for his stats.

“Oh,” He said with a frown. “I… shit, I don’t have dice.”

“No worries,” You told him, taking out the bag you bought and rolling out the light-up set he’d been admiring.

“You bought those for me?” He asked, his shyness returning, reaching for the bag with a cautious grin.

“Yep,” You told him. “It’s no big deal. I knew you’d need a set and you seemed to like these, so I just--”

You were cut off when he grabbed you with his large upper arms and hugged you. God, his fur was soft. You’d never actually touched it before now, but with your face pressed against it, it was softer than angora and smelled like fresh herbs.

He released you suddenly, as if catching himself doing something he hadn’t meant to do. “Sorry, sorry… that was just… really nice of you.”

“Hey, it’s totally cool. I’m a hugger, too,” You told him, patting his upper shoulder. “Alright, let me show you how the dice work and then we’ll roll for your stats.”

You’d had a great time with him fleshing out his character, and once he got over his initial shyness, he was one of the funniest people you’d ever met. He had you in stitches until dinnertime, when he told you he had to go home and unpack. Apparently, when he said he’d just moved there, he meant just. You got another hug as he left, and it was just as soft and warm as the first one.

You felt a little disappointed after he was gone and couldn’t wait to see him the next evening.

For the next twenty four hours, you felt fidgety and restless, excited to see Fuzz again and start the new campaign. Rick had been working for weeks on the plot and obstacles, and he was always the best DM.

Fuzz met you at your house wearing a ball cap that read “Don’t Mess with Me*” and in fine print under the asterisk, continued with, “I’ll Cry A Lot and It Will Be Uncomfortable for Both of Us.” He gave you one of his warm, cuddly hugs and rode with you to Rick’s place. Rick, Shannon, Dag, and Jenna were standing out on the porch with sodas and beer, talking and laughing, and they saluted you with their various beverages as you drove onto the driveway.

“Hey, buddy!” Rick said as you got out of the car. “This your new friend?”

“Fuzz,” The shy mothman said, tentatively reaching out a hand.

“Ha! That’ll be easy to remember,” Rick said, shaking his hand. “I’m Rick. This is Dag.” Rick pointed at a large orc with a sort of a gold tan over his light green skin who gave Fuzz a half-salute. “Jenna.” She was a human with dark skin and tight curls who waved at Fuzz with a bright smile. “And Shannon.” Shannon was part fae, you knew, but you were never sure what her exact nature was. But, then again, all fae were like that. She had pearlescent skin and rosy hair cut short and buzzed on one side. Her bright green pupils were slitted and just a bit too large for her face. Fuzz ducked his head and and gave a little nod each time someone was introduced, trying to make eye contact.

“We’re just waiting for Russel. Can I get you something to drink?” Rick asked Fuzz.

“Do you, um… do you have water? Fizzy stuff makes me a bit sick,” Fuzz said.

“You got it, bud,” Rick said, reaching for a bottle out of the cooler.

Russel was Rick’s twin and lived next door, but he was always late. You didn’t understand why, but Rick shrugged and said he’d always been like that. It’s why Russel wasn’t allowed to DM.

Russel wandered over about five minutes later, and an a minute or two after that, the sushi that Rick ordered showed up. After paying, the seven of you went into the house to get started.

“Okay, so, everyone has their completed character sheets ready to go?” Rick asked, and you all held up your papers while stuffing your faces with california rolls. “Good. Dice? Minis?”

“We didn’t have time to make Fuzz’s mini,” You said.

“No big deal, I’ve got a ton of spares. I always keep a few blanks on hand because of this dingus over here.” He gestured at his brother. “He always forgets to make a miniature.” Rick handed Fuzz a box with blank miniatures in it, carefully separated by foam. Fuzz picked a slender humanoid and set it in front of him.

“Now,” Rick said. “If we are all ready to proceed?” He looked around the table and everyone nodded. Fuzz was shifting in his chair with both nervousness and excitement. “Very well. Our adventure starts in the midst of chaos! Inside a small inn of the road inside the land of Turmish, on the edge of the Sword Coast, a bar fight is raging. The bar is affectionately known by travelers as The Drunken Worm, and for good reason. Currently, though, windows are being smashed up, tables are being thrown, people are flying through the air, there is an absolute roar of voices drowning out any other sound. And in the midst is someone trying to calm the turmoil, only to have a chair smashed over her head. Shannon, that would be you, please describe your character.”

“Okay,” Shannon said, bouncing a little in her seat. “I am a very large, dark blue dragonborn named Anshez. I have a shortish snout with sharp teeth jutting out of my lips. I have two sets of horns on my head, which now have bits of wood dangling from them, and three lines of ridges down my back to the tip of my tail. My eyes are blue as well, and I’m wearing contrasting light blue robes with slits up to my knees for easier movement, and I have a large bastard sword strapped to my back.”

“Excellent,” Rick said, writing that down. “Now, for the unfortunate person who was wielding that chair.” Rick pointed at you. “What is your character?”

“I’m calashite human cleric,” You said. “My name is Khemed Pashar. I’m quite up there in age, as far as humans go; before I decided to travel, I spent forty years in a monastery in study and prayer. I have greying hair and a pale complexion, and I’m wearing white robes with a green panel down the front lined with silver embroidery. The panel has the insignia of the god of the pursuit of knowledge, Oghma, my patron. My only companion is a guide I hired a few days ago.”

“Why is a cleric hurling chairs?” Dag asked.

“I’m just going with the story, man,” You said.

“Anyway,” Rick said. “Anshez, who was once trying to calm the situation, is now slowly drawing her blade from the sheath on her back. Suddenly, someone appears and grabs her arm.”

“That would be me,” Jenna said. “I am a mustard yellow tiefling ranger named Varan, with horns and hooves that are shiny black. My eyes are also black and reflective. I’m wearing a knee-length dress of tightly woven chainmail and a leather vest over it. I have bracers on both my lower and upper arms. I grab my friend’s arm to stop her from hurting the frail looking human and try to calm her.”

“Roll a persuasion check,” Rick said.

“16, and I have a +2 advantage,” Jenna said.

“You are successful in talking down your partner, though she is still angry.”

“If I apologized, would she forgive me?” You asked.

“Roll for it,” Rick said. You rolled. Nat 1. The table burst into uproarious laughter.

“She would not,” Rick said with a chuckle. “In fact, she can barely hear your apology over the din, so she thinks you’re mocking her and she’s now holding a grudge against you.”

“Shit,” You said, grinning.

“Can I jump in?” Fuzz ventured cautiously.

“Definitely,” Rick said. “Your character?”

“I’m a wildhunt shifter druid,” Fuzz said. “I’m just under seven feet tall, and my current mask takes on the characteristics of a brown bear. I’m wearing a hat with a veil that covers most of my face and a pair of loose pants that doesn’t obstruct my movement. I’m in the employ of the cleric; he hired me to be his guide.”

“Good, good.” Rick makes notes. “Your name?”

“Fuzz,” He said.

“Your character name,” Rick said.

“That’s is my character name,” Fuzz said with a shy grin.

Rick snorted. “Okie-dokie. What are the two of you doing in all this?” He asks Dag and Russel.

“We’re bards,” Dag said. “I’m a halfling playing a fiddle.”

“A halfling? Really?” Tiny Shannon said, snickering.

“You’re a dragonborn, shut up,” Dag said, and Shannon giggled, playfully slapping his arm. “My name is Taurin Goodwort. My companion and I are on the small, dingy stage in the corner, trying to play over the noise. We’ve been paid, so by gods, we’re going to do our jobs. I’m wearing a coat that’s slightly too big but my clothes underneath are finely tailored and well fitted. I’m a dapper dude.”

“I’m also playing, but I’m a lute player,” Russel said. “I’m a grey tabby tabaxi not much taller than my halfling friend. My name is Game of Chance, but I go by Chance. My clothes are flashy and covered in shiny trinkets and bells that jingle to the beat when I stomp my paws.”

“Aww,” Jenna said, scratching behind Russel’s ear. He whacked her hand away, and she grinned.

Once the introductions were finished, the campaign was underway. Despite the chaos of the bar fight, the six of you hear the woeful tale of a patron of the bar, a missing son, an actual dragon, an actual dungeon, and all the traps that is implied. Fuzz opened up slowly as the campaign waged on, and his druid had the party in howling with laughter by the end of the night. When the seven of you wrapped up for the night, Fuzz had an open invitation to come back, with or without you.

Fuzz came to every Sunday session from then on, and though it took him some time to get over his anxiety around people, he swiftly became friends with everyone at the table. Despite how much he and the other were getting along, though, he always sat next to you. Perhaps even though he was getting over his shyness, he was still more comfortable next to you.

You weren’t complaining; you liked being close to him. In fact, the two of you had become really good friends, having lunch twice a week and texting constantly. You had your phone in your hand at all times, waiting for his response. You’d woken up with a dead phone on your chest on a number of occasions.

One weekday, after painting his miniature, he took you for dinner, although he didn’t know any good spots since he was still new in town and told you to pick. You decided on Japanese, though the restaurant was a bit full, and it made him nervous. You offered to go somewhere else, but he said it was fine and that he’d brave it, but only for you, making you blush a little. You grabbed his hand and led him through the throngs of people, and his grip tightened on yours.

It took a month for you to realize that… maybe you weren’t just feeling friendship for Fuzz. You liked him a lot. You thought about him all the time and looked forward to his hugs and touching his fur and listening to his laugh and the chittering noise he made when he was happy or excited.

Then, one late evening after the two of you had said goodnight, you had other thoughts. You wondered what his… intimate parts looked like. What they felt like. What they tasted like. And the idea excited you. Thinking about it, you felt yourself getting hard, and you stroked yourself to the thought of touching him, finding out where his private places were and playing with them, and teasing them. Kissing him and cuddling him and getting him to make those cute noises you loved to hear. You moaned at the thought, jerking faster as your imagination ran away with you. You came all over your hand and stomach, gasping and sweating, but it wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted him. Nothing else was good enough.

During the sixth session after Fuzz had joined the campaign, when he wore a cap that just said, “LAMPS!” in big, bold letters, your party had located the lost bar patron’s son, but he was a mind slave to an aboleth, one of many, enslaved to dig out an enclave for the creature to built it’s own small hold, so it could rule by itself. Aboleth’s are extraordinarily selfish creatures, and while they often group together, this one’s desires had driven him to make its own place to lord over. The trick was going to be defeating the aboleth without hurting any of the enslaved, as they were all sons and daughters of the local villages.

It was hard to concentrate on the game with Fuzz next to you. He always sat next to you during every game, but he seemed especially close this evening. You’d glance at him surreptitiously to find him looking at you. When you caught him, he’d smile and look away. He seemed to find reasons to touch you, whether it was to pass you something or to reach past you for something. His fur smelled as good as it always did.

You were filled with such doubts, though. Could you just be reading to much into it? You hadn’t really dated a lot, and you’d never dated a non-human. What if he was just overly friendly to compensate for his shyness? What if you told him how you felt and he didn’t feel the same? You enjoyed spending time with him, and he was so shy that you were scared of pushing him away with your feelings. You tried to push it out of your mind. You had an aboleth to defeat.

“For my turn, I’m going to make a mad dash an possibly take the hit so that I can cast Dispel Illusion to get rid of the aboleth’s secondary illusion,” Jenna said.

“Uh…” Rick checked his notes. “The aboleth is at level 13, and you are level 7, so you only have slightly more than half a chance of this working, so roll for it.”

“Um…” The clattering of Jenna’s die as it rolled across her board. “13, and I have +5 intelligence.”

“Okay, so your spell was successful, but it won’t stop him from creating another in a few minutes and that’s the end of your turn. You’re surrounded by enslaved and they are being driven to rip you apart.” He rolled his die. “They pretty much tear you to shreds. You take… 63 points of damage.”

“Gah!” Jenna said, flopping back into her chair and huffing. “Balls. I’m down.”

“I’m going to use the diversion to summon fiendish monstrous scorpions to draw the enslaved away,” Fuzz said.

“Nice,” You told him in an undertone. He grinned sideways at you.

“Chance and I take this opportunity to check the pond for other enslaved that we hadn’t seen.” Both Dag and Russel rolled. 18 and 12.

“You don’t see anything, only the aboleth growling menacingly at you, preparing to summon another illusion,” Rick said.

Shannon and Jenna then began pulling unconscious enslaved away from the pond.

“Alright, so my big finishing move,” You said, tugging at your sleeves confidently. “Now that I know the pond is free of collateral damage, I cast Lightning Bolt.”

“Roll for your attack.”

“Buh… Ooh! 27!”

“Lightning Bolt is affective!” Rick said. “But the aboleth is not completely destroyed.”

“So we all bum-rush him?” Fuzz asked.

“Hell yeah!” Shannon exclaimed. “Except for Jenna, cause she dead as fuck.”

Jenna stuck her tongue out. “Hey, I broke through enemy lines, gave you guys an advantage, and died like a goddamn hero, so you can suck on all my balls.”

“You ain’t got balls!” Shannon said.

“You don’t know my life!” Jenna shot back.

“I’m your wife, dumbass!” Shannon retorted.

“Would you guys shut your cakeholes and kill this thing, please? I would like to go to bed before 2 A.M. this time,” Rick said.

With the aboleth destroyed and the slaves freed, you collected a hefty bounty from the grateful townspeople and wrapped up the session with big hug all around.

As the night was winding down, with people finishing off snacks and getting their coats and belongings together, Shannon cornered you in the kitchen.

“So, what’s going on with you and Fuzz?” She asked in an almost-whisper.

You looked back over your shoulder anxiously, worried that Fuzz overheard, but he was talking to Dag and Rick.

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“Oh, please, you are so obvious and oblivious at the same time. Everyone in the group know the two of you are practically in love with each other except for you and him.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” You told her dismissively. “Even if I did like him, I have no way of knowing if he feels the same way. And I’m not saying I do have feelings for him.”

“Oh my god, are you serious?” She said exasperatedly. “I’ve watched the two of you make goo-goo eyes and ‘accidentally’ on-purpose touch each other all night. He’s head over heels for you. And you are for him, I can tell. We can all tell. Hell, we have a pool going for when you guys are just going to give in and fuck.”

“Shannon!” You hissed. She had said that last sentence a little too loud for your liking.

“Look, you guys have lunch by yourselves all the time, so it’s clear you’re comfortable being alone. Just ask him to go out with you!”

You sighed, looking back over at Fuzz, wearing that sweet smile on his face and laughing at something Dag said.

“I’ll think about it,” You told her.

“I bet I win the pot,” She said, grinning cheekily, and you shooed her off with an impatient grimace.

On the way home, you scratched the back of your neck and asked, “So, I know you’re new to the area, so I’m sure you don’t know much about the local events, right?”

“Nothing at all,” He replied. “Why?”

Your heart was hammering in your chest. You wondered if he could hear it. “Well, next week’s session is postponed because of our town’s fireworks festival. Do you like fireworks?”

He chirruped excitedly, which was probably the most adorable sound you’d ever heard in your life. “I love fireworks!”

“Awesome! That’s awesome…” You gulped a little. “That’s really good, because I was… wondering… if maybe… you’d like to go with me?”

“Yeah!” He said. “Is the group going?”

“Oh, yeah,” You said, clearing your throat. “They’ll be there, but I, uh… I was thinking maybe it could, you know, just… be the two of us?”

“Sure, that’ll be fun, but why aren’t we going with the group?”

“Because…” You said, struggling to get the words out. “This is special. I want to spend time with you. Just with you, you know what I mean?”

You pulled into your driveway and parked before turning to look at Fuzz. He was gaping at you.

“You mean, like a date?” He asked.

“Yeah,” You said. “If that’s okay?”

“That’s totally okay,” He said, a slow grin spreading across his face. “I’d love to go with you.”

You laughed in relief. “Awesome. I can’t wait.”

You both got out of the car and he gave you a hug before leaving, lingering a little longer this time. You ran your fingers through the fur of his back, up and down, and he sighed before pulling away.

“See you?” He asked.

“See you,” You replied.

The next weekend, you picked him up at his apartment. He had a basket in one hand and a quilt over his shoulder. His hat said “I Like Shiny Objects” on it. Apt for the situation, you thought.

He raised a free hand in greeting. “Hey!”

“Hey,” You said in return as he got in. “Ready?”

“Very much so,” He replied, and you smiled at him. “I’m glad you asked me out. I wanted to ask you, but I was too anxious.”

You felt a blush creep up your neck. You were glad it was already dark.

“When do the fireworks start?” He asked.

“Seven-thirty,” You replied. “I want to get there early to find a good spot.”

Fifteen minutes later, you arrived at the fairgrounds to realize that you weren’t the only person to have this idea. The place was already packed. You frowned.

“Well, so much for that idea,” You said.

“What’s behind that fence over there?” Fuzz asked, pointing past the field.

“Oh, nothing but forest,” You told him. “There’s supposed to be wildcats out there, so it’s to keep kids out.”

“We aren’t kids,” Fuzz said.

“Yeah, but I don’t know where the the gate is, and that’s too high for me to climb,” You told him.

“Oh, no,” Fuzz replied a little sarcastically, fluttering his wings a bit. “What a dilemma. Whatever shall we do?”

You smirked, feeling your heart flutter as well. “You want to fly over?”

“Got a better idea?”

You put your hands on your hips and ducked your head, unsure. You felt one of his hands on your cheek and you looked up at him.

“Trust me,” He said softly.

His large thumb was achingly close to your lips, but you resisted and urge to kiss it. “I do.”

He grabbed you around the middle with your arms around his neck and flew you up and over the fence from a secluded corner of the field. He managed to find a hill with a very small clearing, perfect for a quilt, sitting right next to a big oak tree.

“This is amazing,” You told him, looking down the hill with a clear view off the field and the sky. “You can see everything from this vantage.”

“You like this?” He asked, setting down everything he brought.

“Yeah,” You answered. “It’s incredible.”

“Good,” He said in a soft voice, coming up behind you and wrapping both arms around you. “We can be alone here for as long as we like.”

His voice was low, almost seductive, and you’d never heard him use it before. It sent tingles down your spine and in… other places.

The two of you lay out the quilt and the spread he’d prepared. It was the quintessential date picnic: fruit, cheese, wine, crackers, all kinds of fancy things that you’d never actually had before, like fig jam and stuff. It was all really cool, but it felt strangely “by the book.”

“Fuzz, can I ask you something?”

He looked at you with a surprised expression. “Sure, anything.”

“You’ve never been on a date before, have you?” You asked him.

His face fell a little. “That obvious, huh?”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,” You assured him. “And this is amazing, and I’m having a great time. I just don’t want you to think that you have to do all of this,” You waved your hand at the picnic. “To win me over. You’ve already done that. I wouldn’t have asked you out if I didn’t like being with you.”

He smiled. “I do have a tendency to second-guess myself. It’s just… being gay is difficult for humans, but it can be more so for non-humans. I don’t know why, but there’s this expectation that if your not human and sentient, you have to like girls. Human beings would be shocked how many non-humans aren’t straight.”

“I wouldn’t,” You said. “Shannon’s a lesbian, and I’ve known her forever. I know full well that non-humans don’t live by the same standards that humans do, and humans can be blind to that, even among their own people. I guess that explains why you’re so shy.”

He laughed. “Nah, I’ve always been like that. I’ve never really--”

At that moment, the first shell when off, catching Fuzz’s attention. He got up from the quilt and walked to where the hill just began to slope downward and watched the fireworks with a look of pure joy. Wanting to be close to him, you stepped in front of him and pressed your back against his front. He circled his arms around you again. And for a moment, the two of you just watched the lights.

You turned your head and looked up at his face, seeing the bursts of colored embers reflected in his large, black eyes, and you were mesmerized. He noticed you watching him and looked down at you, smiling his soft, sweet smile.

And he kissed you.

His lips were as velvety as they looked, and you spun in his arms to reach yours around him, pressing your body as close as you could. The pop and crackle and flashes of light against your closed eyes made this seem like a dream, but you were bathing in the sensation of having his body wrapped around you. God, you had wanted this.

When you broke apart, you were both breathing heavily.

“So…” You began stroking the fur on the back of his neck. “I had a question…”

“About?” Fuzz asked.

“Well… you don’t wear clothes… but I’ve never seen your… well… your dick…”

Fuzz’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He seemed momentarily at a lost for words.

“O--oh,” He breathed finally. “It’s… that’s because… it’s tucked away. Inside me. I comes out when I…”

“When you’re aroused?” You guessed. He nodded, not meeting your eye. “Is there some way I can… make that happen?”

He looked back up at you with wide, huge, terrified eyes, “Yes,” He whispered. He took your hand and led you back to the quilt. Cautiously, he reached out a hand and tugged at your shirt, but stopped short before actually removing it. You helped him get the shirt off you and he continued to undress you until you were naked in front of him. He ran the fingers of his upper right hand down your torso, starting at your collarbone and stopping at the tuft of hair that sat just about your ridged length.

“This is definitely helping,” He said breathlessly.

“What can I do?” You asked eagerly. “I’ve wanted to do this for a while now.”

“You have?” He asked hopefully. You nodded and he laughed in relief. “Me too.”

He sat back against the oak tree and opened his legs in front of you, reaching down with his lower pair of hands to part the fur at the apex of his legs. There, you saw a slit, mostly brown like his hands and lips, but fading to pink as it went inward.

“Just touch,” He said. “It’ll open.”

You knelt down in front of him and pressed a finger to the slit, slowly rubbing it up and down. A low trill issued from Fuzz as he let his head fall back against the tree and his breathing hitched. The hands of his upper arms took your face in his hands and pulled you forward for a deep kiss as you massaged the opening, feeling it begin to pucker and pulsate at your touch. It widened slowly, and you daringly inserted your pinky inside, feeling the tip of a slick organ begin to push itself out.

Fuzz gasped at this new sensation and moaned a little. Slowly, it came out and you were able to see it at last. It was pink like the inside of the opening and darkened to the familiar velvet brown at the tip. You put your hand around it and pumped it a few times before bending down and pulling the tip into your mouth. It was sweet, like honeysuckle. His hips convulsed and he started to whisper, “please, please.”

You felt around for your wallet and pulled out a condom and two single-use packets of lube. You tore open the condom with your teeth and started to work it down his shaft.

“I’ve never…” He said, gulping. “I’ve never done this…”

“Do you want to stop?” You asked him, your hand stilling on his hardened girth.

“No!” He said. “No, no, I want this. I just… I’m sure I won’t be any good at it.”

“That’s okay, Fuzz,” You said, kissing him as another shell popped in the distance, lighting up the sky and trees around you. “I’ll teach you. Trust me.”

“I do,” He whispered.

You took a packet of lube and tore it open, squeezing some of it onto his fingers.

“First is to open me up a bit, so to speak,” You told him, turning and kneeling over. “Massage it into the skin for a few minutes, and them push a finger in.”

You felt him follow your instructions and groan into the ground as he pressed and rolled and circled the sensitive skin, finally pushing one of his thick, long fingers inside you. You gasped at feeling and encouraged him to move it in and out, eventually adding the second finger.

Once you felt like you were ready, you told him to sit back against the tree, and he complied. You took the second packet of lube and squirted it into your hand, lubing him up before pulling yourself to face level and kissing him as you positioned yourself over him. Slowly, you slid down onto him, feeling him slide against the bundle of nerves deep inside you. Both of you gasped at the same time and clung to each other as the fireworks continued to light up your naked bodies in the darkness.

You started to ride him, listening to his trilling and chirping, and all four of his hands found interesting things to do. The pair on the bottom held your hips as you rocked back and forth, up and down, in his lap. His upper right hand caressed your face while the left reached between you and began to stroke you slowly, sweetly, in a way you had been dying to be touched.

You sped up, and his trilling got higher in pitch. You reached up and gently pulled his hat off, careful of his antennae.

“We should both be naked,” You gasped, laughing. He laughed too before moaning your name, kissing you and tightening his grip on your cock slightly. You held him close to you, whispering into his ear that you were going to cum. He said he was close, too.

You came before him, spraying yourself all over his stomach. He grasped your hips harder and thrust faster for a few moments, then he released a high pitched chirrup that repeated over and over, and you could feel him releasing into the condom inside you.

You could barely hear the sounds of the fireworks over the rushing in your ears. He held you tightly with both of his arms, gulping down air. Finally, you got up and pulled off the used condom. You had a small bag and a couple of single-use wipes in your wallet for such… situations. You cleaned him up and wiped yourself off, too. Then, the two of you lay there, nude, on the quilt and watched the grand finale.

Best first date ever.

The next day, you woke up in his apartment pressed into the fluff of his chest. You stretched and groaned sleepily, looking at the collection of ball caps displayed proudly on every inch of his bedroom walls. He roused himself as well.

“Good morning,” He said with a happy smile.

“Good morning yourself,” You replied, giving him a quick kiss.

“Do you work today?” You asked.

“No,” He said, stretching like a cat. “I took today off. I was hoping we’d end up like this, so I… planned for it.”

“Aww,” You said, scratching his unusually bare head. “Wanna spend the day together?”

“Sounds like a great idea,” He said, grinning. “Breakfast?”

“Breakfast sounds good,” You told him. “Is it alright if I run back to my place to grab some fresh clothes?”

Breakfast will be ready when you get back,” He said, bouncing out of bed.

You laughed at him, but really, you felt just as happy. You dressed quickly and headed out, popping up on tiptoe and kissing the back of his neck as you passed him in the kitchen.

Just as you got into your car, you got a text from Shannon: >Did you guys do it?

You rolled your eyes. >None of your business.

As you started your car, you got a reply. >Ha! I won the bet!

At your place, you grabbed a change of clothes and a couple more condoms and packets of lube, and started back for Fuzz’s apartment. While driving, something in the window of a store caught your eye and you decided to stop in. It was a little early for gifts, but… what the hell? This was the perfect thing and you knew he’d love it. How could you not buy it?

Back at his place, he was putting plates on the table.

“Hey, you okay? I was getting worried you weren’t coming back,” He said.

“Nothing of the sort,” You replied, handing him a bag. “I just saw this and thought of you.”

“You got me a present?” He said, both confused and delighted. “Why?”

“Cause I like you. I don’t need another reason,” You told him.

He laughed loudly and opened the bag. From inside, he pulled out a baseball cap that read, “My Boyfriend Thinks I’m Funny.” He smiled softly at it before putting it on his head.

“How does it look?” He asked.

You smiled widely. “It suits you.”

He grabbed your butt, pressed you to his side, and kissed you, wrapping you in his arms like the cuddlebug he was. Then fed you the best breakfast you’d had in a decade.

You guessed you owed Shannon a new set of dice. A nice set.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Commission #MLM #Mothman #Male Reader #Male Monster #Interspecies Romance #Silkmoth #D&D #Dungeons and Dragons #Dungeons & Dragons #Reader Insert

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cyclicstudies · 4 years

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Quarantine Tag Game

Thanks for the tag, @elvishstudies!

1. Are you staying home from work/school?

Yup, currently am home and don’t plan on leaving in a while!

2. If you’re staying home, who’s there with you?

My mom and brother :)

3. Do you have pets to keep you company?

Sadly no :(

4. Who do you miss the most?

I miss my dad the absolute most! He got stuck abroad before coronavirus got big D:

5. When was the last time you left your home?

Probably like 2-3 weeks ago.

6. What was the last thing you bought?

Nutella hehe

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

I’m kind of losing my mind. Online school is not great and I already hit maximum relaxed period some time ago.

8. Are you a homebody?

Mostly! I think I’ve broke the threshold though.

9. What movies have you watched recently?

Honestly some avant-garde films for my cinema history class.

10. An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

I was hoping to shoot my short film around this time of month! So sad.

11. What’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel?

Nothing super pressing, thankfully.

12. What’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel?

I don’t think there was a “best” thing for me.

13. Do you have any new hobbies?

Digital art! I used to do it rarely, but now I’m taking full advantage of the powers of Illustrator.

14. What are you out of?

Tomatoes omg

15. What music are you listening to?

Some good ole pop, a lil bit of alternative, whatever daily remix comes my way

16. What shows are you watching?

Not watching anything atm, but I finished Fleabag recently.

17. What are you reading?

Stuff on Python! I’m such a nerd.

18. What are you doing for self care?

Letting myself sleep in!

19. Are you exercising?

Lol no

20. How’s your toilet paper supply?

Good for now!!

21. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine?

Yeah my mom chopped a good 3 inches off and gave me side bangs LOL

tagging: @jungcinema @blackgrad @rivkahstudies @the-distracted-student @a-students-lifebuoy @tatstudies @merakietudier @humanespressostudies @student-succulent

#studyblr #quarantine tag #me

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mystery-deer · 4 years

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My Notes on Jacqueline Peralta

Jacqueline “Jack” Peralta is a lesbian Jake Peralta that I sometimes think about and here are my sporadic notes on her

Charles call her “Jackie” Trying very hard to be cool but it’s not working well Internalized misogyny only directed towards herself really?? Thinks badass means masculine, thinks Rosa is very cool for openly liking more girly stuff as well as knives. Gina describes her as “Clumsy girl in a romcom type vibe or like if Bruce Willis had great tits” (’Assuming he doesn’t ALREADY!?’) She will wear suits to formal events. She can also rock a dress of course but suits... She still had that big ol crush on that girl who left her at the prom but this time they went as “”friends.”” The betrayal still stings. We said we were OVER boys!!! Charles is her best friend still and people wonder about their relationship for like ONE second until they get to know Charles and understand he wouldn’t be able to hide a crush on her at ALL. He just thinks she’s THE COOLEST!! Jack dates guys for very short periods of time and seems very uninterested or anxious about a long term relationship. She often cites some small imperfection or incompatibility to break up with them. “He liked black forest gummy bears OVER HARIBO!! He was INSANE!!! I would have ended up under his floorboards Ames.” She’s labeled as “the ‘cool’ girl” or “one of the guys” by most men (especially in the academy) and has a hard time saying she’s uncomfortable with things in a way that isn’t jokey or read-between-the-lines. She’s proud of herself for just...toughing things out. She feels the need to be tough and funny and cool and light n breezy! Her dad would not have much interest in her if she was being “fussy” and liked when he could pal around with her. Wanted to protect her mom the same as Jake after she found out her dad was kinda a shithead. Roger seems pretty lowkey misogynistic with him being a serial adulterer and generally not respecting more than wanting to have sex with them? (We don’t really ever see why someone would WANT to have a long term relationship with him? He mostly just lies and talks about himself) So Jack never really had a good relationship with him, mostly just her listening to him talk and admiring him until she didn’t. (same as Jake but with an additional gendered undertone) Tried very hard to be low maintenance for him. Also off topic but I don’t buy the Peralta boy curse and think Roger is just a shitty father who used his own father’s shitty behaviour and a “curse” to excuse what a bad dad he was. In this version he’s more like “Peraltas don’t do well with kids we’re always doomed to failure.” Both she and Amy missed out on a lot of stereotypical girly childhood stuff. Amy because she was a big nerd with very specific interests and Jack because she went through a heavy Tomboy NO PINK NO GIRLS phase. Jack begins to have a crush on Amy but mistakes it for admiration for her being secretly cool (”I’m not secretly cool, I was cool all along!”) I think Jack/Amy could be really sweet with like, Jack dating this slew of men she thinks are the kind of guy she should be attracted to; Conventionally handsome, smooth talking, very cool, owns a snake - and then she ends up falling for this intelligent and capable yet very cute lil nerd. Amy also has issues with feeling that she’s “the only girl at the table” and needs to prove herself and I think they could help each other with that and it could be a more central theme in their relationship! Jack is a lesbian but comes out late in life (After Rosa comes out as bi, the scene where she roleplays as Rosa coming out is meaningful in this au and they discuss it afterwards. Rosa brings it up pretty bluntly. “Hey, you got real into that scene back there.” but doesn’t press her too hard.)

#more b99 nonsense from yours truly #jack peralta #jake peralta #bro you just posted cringe you just lost subrscriber

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justanothermemething · 5 years

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✧･ﾟ: *Nᴇxᴛ Gᴇɴ Sᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ Sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs

❝ Come on. You’re being selfish.❞

❝ That’s what happens when a wo/man loses everything.❞

❝ Oh my god, __. Do something about your hair.❞

❝ Seriously, does everything have to be a robot with you?❞

❝ You know, it’s not going to kill you to accept a little help.❞

❝ Yeah, cool. I’ll just wait here in the car.❞

❝ You didn’t tell me there was going to be a big ol’ line!❞

❝ It’s cool, you love robots more than you love me.❞

❝ Sorry, but not sorry.❞

❝ You’re just making it harder for yourself and me.❞

❝ You are my last and best hope.❞

❝ You said, ‘remind me at two o’clock.’❞

❝ You’re not perfect. But then perfect is the enemy of good.❞

❝ Would you just give me a minute?❞

❝ Do you have any idea how dangerous this thing is, that we just built?❞

❝ It’s kind of a big deal. Let me check. Uh, yeah, it’s one of the biggest deals ever!❞

❝ How about a ‘thanks for the reminder ___?’❞

❝ That is super creepy. I mean, really.❞

❝ What are you thinking? We hang out, become best buds, take on the world, share a deep and moving journey of discovery together?❞

❝ Yeah, you are delusional.❞

❝ Everything I have ever done has lead up to this moment.❞

❝ You’re a perfectionist and you know, I get that.❞

❝ Oh, Okay. Well, got some bad news.❞

❝ All right then, looks like you’re doing okay. I will leave you to it.❞

❝ Listen, champ. You’re definitely not allowed out here.❞

❝ Why don’t we go ahead and get you back inside?❞

❝ There’s a tiny pointed horse in here!❞

❝ It’s nice to meet you. You know, officially.❞

❝ Do you just hang out here? Are you...weird or something?❞

❝ Where’d you nerds get the idea you could hang out on my field?❞

❝ Hey, remind me again who taught you how to play?❞

❝ Hey, __. Why don’t we just get out---Oh, okay. There s/he goes.❞

❝ I’m told that if you go limp, you’ll sustain less damage as we beat you.❞

❝ Hey, good afternoon __. I bet you had a great day.❞

❝ I killed a man for his boots.❞

❝ Are you going to at least look at me when you’re being all teenagery?❞

❝ I feel alone sometimes too, but only sometimes.❞

❝ Don’t you understand anything?❞

❝ Let’s see, are we missing anything?❞

❝ You understand me, don’t you, buddy?❞

❝ You understand my unfocused rage.❞

❝ Yeah, you’re the only one who gets my rage.❞

❝ Get the [bleep] out here.❞

❝ I swear I will [bleep] bite your head off, [beelp].❞

❝ That my be the only really honest thing I’ve ever heard a robot/you say, actually.❞

❝ You’ve gotta go, I have bigger problems to deal with.❞

❝ I really enjoyed looking through your personal belongings.❞

❝ You are still super creepy.❞

❝ Are you sure that’s legal?❞

❝ I knew that. You judging me bro?❞

❝ Is this what karma feels like?❞

❝ You don’t [bleep] with ___ son!❞

❝ That sounds bad, is that bad?❞

❝ I’m pretty sure there are things not worth remembering.❞

❝ How come no one ever told me I have an ugly mad face?❞

❝ So, I’m just curious, you made this?❞

❝ I mean, you betrayed me and I have to kill you now.❞

❝ Maybe you and me, maybe we could play a game today.❞

❝ What if we do one day where we don’t, you know, blow stuff up.❞

❝ I thought we were having a good time just hanging out.❞

❝ It’s been great, I have lots of cool memories now of us hanging out.❞

❝ We can’t quit now, there’s way too much injustice in the world.❞

❝ I would never let you get hurt.❞

❝ Why are you so mean to everyone?❞

❝ I totally understand what s/he’s talking about.❞

❝ I just want her/him to hurt like how s/he hurt me.❞

❝ What is wrong with you anyway, you crazy little freak?❞

❝ Why are you so angry?❞

❝ Seriously, you’re running out of options here buddy.❞

❝ Look, you were wrong and s/he was right.❞

❝ I mean, you were being a brat and s/he was just trying to be a stand-up girl/guy.❞

❝ Sometimes, I think you’re going to be my best and only friend forever.❞

❝ You know what, [bleep] that girl/guy. S/He’s dead to me.❞

❝ How much did you just hear? Cause I was---They were just jokes.❞

❝ The most important parts of me, are the memories of you.❞

❝ Would it help if I promise you I’ll never let you down again?❞

❝ How can you promise something like that?❞

❝ People leave and there’s nothing you can do about it.❞

❝ I do know, I don’t want to lose you.❞

❝ ___, if I lost you, I’d be lost too.❞

❝ Oh, I didn’t know we were expecting company.❞

❝ Why would you put weapons in a robot?❞

❝ The [bleep]’s this? How’d you even get in here?❞

❝ Seriously, when did making the world a better place becoming killing people?❞

❝ I know I messed up, but I had no choice, I had to save you.❞

❝ The second I started to believe this thing between us was real, you burn it down to the ground like everyone else does!❞

❝ Don’t know about you but a rocket launcher would make me feel a whole lot better right now.❞

❝ You’re right, I let you down. A lot of people let you down but you are not alone.❞

❝ Fine, if I’m not alone that means I’ve brought you down into my garbage life, is that really where you wanna be?❞

❝ Ignore that, that’s a trap.❞

❝ There’s no way I’ll ignore that.❞

❝ What? What do you mean I mean?❞

❝ I do normal human things all the time. All the time.❞

❝ They’re never gonna believe you.❞

❝ Why did you do that? I’m just trying to help!❞

❝ Look, ___, I’m really sorry about what happened okay?❞

❝ You don’t have to fight! It never stops and it never fixes anything!❞

❝ You are not ruining this for me!❞

❝ Don’t make me kick your butt!❞

❝ Our memories make us who we are, don’t let the bad ones stop you from making good ones.❞

❝ Please come back. I’m sorry, I was wrong.❞

❝ It’s like you thrive on futility.❞

#rp meme #ask meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #rp sentence starters #prompts #rp prompts

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theonceoverthinker · 5 years

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“The Heart of the Truest Believer” Unused Script Snippets Compilation

So, as some of you know, recently I was lucky enough to win a script for “The Heart of the Truest Believer” in an OUAT auction. I think scripts are some of the most fun things you can win in auctions like these -- it’s cool to see how lines change and develop over the course of the writing and filming processes, they open the door to additional fun fan speculation, and of course, we get to see lines and actions that didn’t make the cut and in some cases, maybe see a completely new product!

And now that I have the script, I wanted to share it with everyone so we can do all of that groovy stuff!

There were a fair amount of changes, additional bits of dialogue, and honestly just funny things I noticed that I wanted to point out to laugh at like a fourth grader! I put in every thing that was in the script, but not in the episode, but if there’s a scene or something from the episode that you want to see, please let me know and i’ll see what I can do to get it to you (Sorry, buying the scripts and scanning can get expensive and I’m going to London this summer)!

Also, there’s a fair amount of shippy stuff in here, namely for Swan Fire, Sleeping Warrior, and Captain Swan (Ergo, the early ship tags). It’s not all that’s in here by any means, but I do want you going into this knowing that.

Finally, as a personal plea from me, let’s please try not to go too beserk over this, or rather, like our fandom sometimes tends to do. I wanted to share all of this good stuff for fun and archival purposes and I’d hate to inadvertently cause the next fandom war. And look, I get it: Fandoms be fandoms and my plea probably won’t factor into much in the grand scheme of things, but hey, I had to try, am I right? Just remember to treat each other the way you’d want to be treated. Certain scenes and ship that you might not like could mean a great deal to others and we should all try and respect each other.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way, without further adieu, join me under the cut and let’s get to it!

First off, here’s a little observation: Apparently, in addition to comforting Emma, the doctor was supposed to give Emma a tissue. And given the sentences before that note, she’d definitely need it. :(

Another small cut line, but it makes you think just what a war on magic would be like. Also, I love the buildup of Tamara and Greg as these big antagonists and a third faction to counter the efforts of Pan and the heroes, only to pull the rug up from them and the audience. Kind of reminds me of how Dragon Ball Z transitioned from the androids to Cell.

Okay, enough nerding out! Moving on!

I was so happy that we got a juicy little bit of Rumple-y goodness in here! While I’m personally okay with the scene being excluded from the final episode, I do love how this scene builds up Rumple’s transformation back into his Dark One persona. I love the idea of the most dramatic spinning in television history and that crescendo of suspense. You know Isham would’ve had a time and a half orchestrating this scene! Can you just imagine the strings and the percussion?!

And speaking of Rumple, here’s some more Rumple dialogue!!! It builds on what we got in the final version in a more detailed way and makes for a strong moment in the Emma and Rumple dynamic.

As an added bonus, if you look at the bottom left of the page, it appears that whoever previously had this script helped setting up the sets! So that’s nifty!

Tamara is Spider-Man. OUAT/MCU CROSSOVER CONFIRMED!!

In a similar vein, we see Greg and Tamara here trying to do a bit more damage to the enemies than what we got in the finished episode.

Phillip! That’s Lumiere’s line! Silly man...

We get a bit more unused dialogue here (Loving the “arrow” joke!)! It’s basically just exposition, but we do get a bit of colliding personalities in here, especially between Neal and Mulan. Considering that these characters don’t get a ton of screen time after this season, this was a nice discovery to uncover.

I also like the smidge of character development Mulan got from Belle -- she’s now taken an interest in seeking knowledge after seeing how effective it can be!

More towards the bottom of the page, here we get two things that I found cool. First, we see a bit more to the guessing game of what is attacking the Jolly Roger and for certain Killian fans, seeing a Kraken out there is pretty cool!

Second...look the descriptions of some of the actions in these scripts is just phenomenal. And if you ever want to ensure a good ole case of alcohol poisoning, take a drink every time the F word is used! You will be PLASTERED before long! XD

We get a lot of additional dialogue here with some twinges of both Swan Fire and Sleeping Warrior nestled neatly in the actions and dialogue. My friends, I’d have KILLED to see that hand hold in the final product! I also really admire Neal’s steadfast determination here! It’s very reminiscent of Baelfire and is just utterly heartwarming to see how much he cares about his family.

And on top of that, we get a smidge more lore for the after effects of the sleeping curse! I’m no lore snob and I do find the explanation to be a biiiiiiiit weird, but hey -- it’s OUAT and weird is what I signed up for! It works well enough for me.

Tamara, you can’t blame others for your actions! You know better...or at least you should. I don’t know. For a while, at least, you seemed pretty smart and devious.

But more importantly than that: THE DARK ONE IS BACK! ...I just really liked that line. It reminds me of that old movie Commando. Rumple was trying to leave his past behind...sort of, but to save what matters to him, he’s gotta go back to his old ways. It’s a great mix of menacing and oddly triumphant! Honestly, it just sounds badass and I love that script note!!!

Like I said...the drinking games that could stem from these scripts could KILL someone! ...There’s nothing new here: I just thought this was funny.

MOVING ON!

Once again, we see some more Neal and Mulan dialogue with both direct and indirect nods to Swan Fire and Sleeping Warrior! I just have a lot of feels for these two, okay?!

So, we’ll see this a bit later in more detail, but there seemed to be something of a D-plot about the Jolly Roger sinking as a result of the storm. It’s only mentioned in the final product during the scene where our team finally arrives on the island, but there’s quite a few lines about this being more of a substantial plot point than what we ended up getting. Once again, I’m overall okay with its exclusion since the conflict of them having to work together was the more important part of the conflict.

And hey! We get a little bit of CS dialogue too, and I’m not complaining about that at all! I can’t help but feel like had that been included, it (Namely Killian calling Emma a sailor) would’ve been one of those OUAT-y things that just makes its way into all kinds of fan works -- like an OUAT meme that’s not played for comedy. You get what I’m saying? Ah well!

Let’s keep going!

...Again, not new, but the script direction was just too funny to leave out of this post!

Here we get a bit more dialogue of Emma trying to get her reluctant teammates to listen to her. While I’m fine with the scene as we got it, I would’ve liked it if this went into the final version. It builds up Emma’s desperation nicely and gives their lack of teamwork a subtle hint of tragedy that a solution is literally right in their face, but they won’t listen.

I also like that there’s a bit more to Hook’s extra line. Does one take it as him not believing her alongside the group, or him believing her and tragically pointing out that no one else does? I think the ultimate interpretation would’ve come down to how Colin played it, but I appreciate the nuance of the line!

So, here, like I said before, here’s where we get more of the meat of the Jolly Roger sinking plot point. There’s more of a weight to it. As I said before, while I like this extra dialogue, I do think that the final version was effective enough in showing the team working together and that an extra scene wouldn’t have contributed that meaningfully to it in the overall grand scheme of things.

That all having been said, additionally, we get some awesome Emma here, and I am always a fan of that! We get to see a bit of smugness with that “I was right” line and some frack-a-lackin’great leadership as she leads the group onto Neverland’s shores! It’s an honestly cool moment and I’m picturing Jen slaying as she delivers these great lines!

As you might be able to see on the first picture in this set, there’s a bit of cutoff dialogue. Unfortunately, that’s how I got the script and it happens occasionally in this script. However, if I may speculate, going by Emma’s next line, it seems like Hook was telling her that if they follow through with her plan, Pan will know they’re on his island for sure and will likely be able to find them with relative ease. It’s fitting for Hook’s view of Pan for him to be apprehensive about giving Pan an in like this and makes Emma’s willingness to go into the metaphorical fires of Neverland to be even cooler!

Finally, we end off with another bit of Swan Fire, and it’s honestly pretty touching! Like, he cries over her and she’s the love of his life! That’s just sweet!

Also, I’m pretty sure that Robin line at the top is new, and it’s pretty funny! Robin’s character does snark really well!

And with that, our journey through the uncut side of “The Heart of the Truest Believer” is complete! I hope you all liked these snippets and maybe got a bit more material to think on! I know I did!

#ouat #once upon a time #ouat script #heart of the truest believer #swan fire #sleeping warrior #captain swan #emma swan #rumple #neal cassidy #mulan #aurora #phillip #killian jones #hook #greg #tamara #robin hood #Rumplestiltskin

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chickenscript · 6 years

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A/N: nyeh. and so it begins. i'm doing this in a series 'cause i've seen a few other people do it like that and well, i wanna experiment with new formats. sorry it took so long btw. i’ll be buckling down on the prompts that were sent in- enjoy!

- ho boy is there a lot of sass to go around when you two are together.

- you complain about things to each other that you wouldn't with other people. especially if it's about those other people.

- he really doesn't get emotions all that well- they weren't programmed into him right, so he's great at the language of sarcasm and composed comments. you honestly can't tell when he's not serious sometimes.

- it's great when something unpredictable to him happens though, then you get to watch how his brain starts running around in that big noggin of his, trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

- cold, hard science was his anchor, with the exception of metaphysics, so when stuff like that teleporting mutant they found pops up, he's bewildered and thrown off but crikey is he excited. ten times as much as when mikey gets new paint.

- it's pretty funny to you, but don get laughs out of you any time.

- he makes hella good blunt jokes and they always get you going because you share that same kind of dry humor.

- he doesn't really like touch so much and it took you a while to adjust to the preference since you're kind of a touchy person. (hence why you go to the other brothers when you're in a cuddly mood)

- he does sometimes seek out a hug, or want to just lean over your shoulder while you're doing something and pull you closer until your backed up into his chest. he also likes to gently talk when he gets like that, voice all low and pebbly.

- a big shift from his crackly, puberty one.

- he also corrects people a lot offhandedly. you got used to it though. just like you got used to how he gets very in the zone about stuff, and you notice when he does while you're talking and start saying weird shit to get him to focus again.

("And oh, by the way, turtle soup? I’m a big fan.”

"Mm hm- wait, what did you just say?" (well, maybe that’s more morbid than weird)

- when he isn't so impassive and really, genuinely smiles or laughs, you like to coo and prod at him.

- you make fun of each other, a lot actually. you're banter kings, and practically unstoppable when you fire pokes at his brothers. they are no match for you two.

- like mikey, you’re usually an extra hand during a project and he's taught you a ton in the realm of science and tech. it’s a good thing you soak up stuff like a sponge when it’s within your interest.

- like how to hot wire a car or just be able to know your wires and never cross them incorrectly. it took a hefty amount of trial and electricity burns to figure out your way around machine guts. and a couple fires. but he's never kicked you to the curb and called you unteachable.

- you're always welcome in his lab and to assist with experiments so long as he's taught you whatever it is you're trying to do thrice.

- it's great because you’re not as terrified of explosions - or maybe just shrapnel - as his brothers are, and you’re a good thinker so you make a great assistant (or co-mind. you’re still brainstorming better names)

- lots of hands/robo arm gestures. you actually get into the habit of doing them too and leo points it out with some light jabs about how you're starting to get stuck in that lab all day too.

- like April, you like to hitch a ride on him but not as much as Raph. then again, everybody feels the same about that to be honest.

- you tend to borrow his tools in case you have something you need to fix at home, but sometimes you over estimate yourself so you call your good ole handy man turtle and he either talks you through the repair, or jets over to help if it’s something you’re really unfamiliar with and unsure of. (you may or may not have nearly blown your fridge sky high)

- you guys are like grease monkeys when it comes to the turtle tank.

- don't get yourself started on the stealth cycles- you loves those puppies so much. (you’re a real motorhead and was always excited to drive something for the first time)

- don’s taught you a lot on the care of both the tank and cycles, but he won't let you drive a cycle without him on the back. and without you wearing an assortment of sports pads and a helmet he modified. (he’s actually designing smart armor for you if you ever get caught in a battle. april shot him down when he offered to make her some for no good reason in your opinion, like free smart armor bro. who’d say no to that?)

- humans aren't as sturdy as turtles.

- you could say the same for him and his soft shell when the all the battle buff is off.

- you really do appreciate his ways of showing he cares though. it's sweet and quietly tactful.

- oh, you guys are huge sugar junkies. he eats sweets and drinks high in sugar or caffeine stuff all the time when he's binging work or skipping sleep. if you can't get him to bed, then you'll compromise by joining in on the sugar rush so you'll be able to get him to there when he crashes.

- which takes forever, mind you. you're usually the first one to zonk out on the pile of bean bags you helped him gather and nest in a corner of the lab.

- but he joins you at some point. the geometric edges of his battle shell jolts you awake and lets you see that.

- you honestly do a lot of the self care don doesn't do for himself. you remind him to eat often when he's got a project going- you bring him his favorite sandwich from subways, a tall coffee, or mikey's cooking (which is usually heavy udon whenever he knows don is at work so he can get hearty meals).

- you really just make sure he’s alive, and kind of healthy. (”Oi, stay hydrated.” you toss Donnie a bottle of water that one of his shell’s spidery arms catch instantly. He mumbles something like a thanks, still much too busy to watch you set yourself up on the beanbags with your laptop)

- he properly thanks you in subtle ways, like the odd gift.

- victim example being a custom made roomba. (his names connor btw, and you adore him and how much he helps keep the apartment clean since you and your uncle are horrible at upkeep. even when you get strings of messages about him being stuck in precarious situations that aren't even)

- sometimes don knows he can say things that sound too harsh and he can't always tell when they've gone that far, so he makes sure you're not upset about it later by surprisingly asking outright if it’s really bothering him.

- he really is a softie under some layers, or at least he doesn't want to be on anyone's bad side. then again, you're not sure he cares all that much about the latter.

- you still act like dicks to each other sometimes, not that you’ll ever really mean anything.

- and if you do say something with some bite to it, you know how to grow some balls and apologize. (you do a lot of that when you’re one of the reasons he cracks. sometimes he even needs some tlc if he’s really messed up over whatever made him blow a gasket)

- after all, don liked to think he was the mature one out of the group.

- so you let him keep thinking that.

- you have indeed asked about his eyebrows. he just never acknowledges you once you bring them up.

- and he’s as melodramatic as leo sometimes, and god it annoys you when you’re not in the mood. so does having to kiss up to him when he’s moody.

- you don’t try so much anymore, but you do get him his favorite snacks when you’re feeling merciful.

- well, actually, you’re really just a doormat for the people you love. you couldn’t stay mad at any one of the turtles for an hour on average, or less. long lasting grudges toward friends just weren't in your nature.

- you understanding don and being able to sit through his little rambles about his newest creation or a theory, or anything else in that regard makes him so very happy.

- he’s gotten a cut to the chase comment way to many times before and you are amazing for listening. (a true talent that is, being an ace listener.)

- to you, he's just really interesting to listen to. and he doesn’t mind when you ramble either.

- but you do realize how odd it is that you know someone who’s motto is; the blast radius should be about here. but i’ve been wrong before, or, your other top favorite, it shouldn’t blow up. much.

- jeez, don is such a dweeb.

bonus:

"You're ambidextrous?"

Donnie blinks at you, "Yeah, what of it? All geniuses are."

You scoff and shake you're head, returning to your book, "You're getting more full of yourself by the day, nerd boy."

"Oh, why thank you for noticing~"

bonus bonus because the ideas won't stop:

- don wearing a leather jacket makes you feel questionable. like really tight in the throat questionable.

- so does the suave way he's wiggling his eyebrows when he catches you staring- nope. nevermind. your dork friend is back.

"Loser."

"Dick."

#rise of the teenage mutant turtles #rottmnt #tmnt donatello #headcannons #friendship #fiendship?#i mean #you guys could be mad scientists #i guess probably more like kronk and ezma tho #heh #pull the lever y/n!#gah!#not that one!#tmnt donnie #reader insert #x reader #rottmnt headcannons #my writing

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neighbours-kid · 5 years

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Count Your Blessings

I had this moment of....realisation of how lucky I am, a while ago, and after watching Shazam! last night and talking about Zac with my friend, it really hit me again.

You know, I don‘t really remember much of, well, I guess you could call it my personality, from when I was a child? I know that I liked certain things and disliked others, I know who my friends were and stuff I did on a more or less regular basis. But I don‘t really know what kind of person I was when I was younger.

As a kid, I liked reading, I liked the Harry Potter books. I know I liked playing board and card games with my family, I know I liked playing video games with my brother. I know I liked Pokémon and that I watched both anime and cartoons on TV. I know I liked playing outside with my friends, climbing on trees, playing football, just doing stuff in nature.

I remember liking some TV shows when I got older, liking going to the movies with family and friends. I remember going over to a friend‘s house to play video games.

I remember these things about my life but I don‘t remember who I was within those things. That sort of changes around and after sixth grade. I know that by the time I went to another school after my compulsory education, I quickly became known as the nerd. The kid who knows way too much about movies and tv shows and actors, who can recall dubbing voices and what the guy in the movie you‘re watching is best known for.

I‘ve always liked knowing things and knowing a lot about the actors that starred in my favourite movies and the shows just became part of that. It became so much part of it that one of my friends just had to turn around to look at me while we watched Wilde in class for me to immediately go “Jude Law. Watson to RDJ’s Holmes. The other guy at the beginning was Orlando Bloom. Lord of the Rings. Pirates of the Caribbean.” and she just turned back as if that had been the most normal interaction in the entire world. People became surprised when I didn’t know things.

To this day, I have people who met me during the start of that time, people who I barely see and barely know, come up to me whenever I meet them, and ask me if there’s anything worth watching right now. To so many people, both close friends and people I see maybe once a year, if at all, I have become a walking movie and tv show encyclopedia.

And to be honest, for a while I got really fed up with that, because I knew that this part of my personality was not all there is. I wanted to tell people, I am more than just that! And yeah, I am more than just that. But fuck yeah, I talk about movies a shit ton and I fucking love it.

So when, the other day, I was talking about seeing Shazam! this Friday with someone using the words “gotta see my dude being a superstar”, and upon them asking who the actor is, went through the spiel of “you know the show Chuck? You know Thor’s friend Fandral in the second two Thor movies?” and, when they started googling him, also, for some reason, mentioned his birthday and zodiac sign, I got a face I hadn’t seen in a long while. That of surprise, maybe a bit of confused shock, and wonder. I hadn’t heard the question “how on earth do you know that?” in so long, because it just became normal for people to assume I knew that.

And when I recalled that I had met Zac at SDCC, told a bit about that experience and then jokingly mentioned that I could also tell them about his fashion choices — a necklace in particular —, I felt that surge of gratitude again that had hit me weeks before when I saw Zac wearing the necklace while on the cover of a magazine.

So when I watched Shazam! last night, saw the big pop-up display for the movie, the posters, and his big ol’ face all over the place, it just really hit me again.

You know, I’m not oblivious to the fact that he is a celebrity, even if I hate that word. I know that he has a massive fanbase and that I am only one of many who admire him. I am not trying to put him on a pedestal, and I sure as hell don’t have delusions that I know who he is in private, that I can say I know him as a person. All I know is who he is publicly, in interviews, interaction with fans and stuff like that.

But…having met him twice? Having seen him interact with people in front of me, how he talks to people, listens to people? Having been able to sit down with him for a moment, tell him the story behind the necklace and the reason why I wanted him to have it, and knowing that he got it? Having interacted with him, I know that who he seems to be to the public, is to a very large degree, not just a facade. I am sure that he has some things he hides away from the public, but that’s entirely fair. I don’t believe there is any person in the public eye — may that be actors, politicians, musicians, or even the fucking weather person — who does not, to a certain degree, play a part while out and about. They are just people like you and me, they have lives, bad days and good days. Hell, even I play a part sometimes.

But what I have always felt with him, through watching interviews and experiencing him in actual, real life, seeing him around fans, friends, and even family, I have only ever gotten a feeling of a deep genuineness, a sincere honesty.

I have no illusions about meaning anything to him beyond the “fan” bit, but it sure means a hell lot to me that he wears that necklace, understands its meaning. And it feels kinda nice too, when you’re told that something you’ve written has been read, or when you can see recognition on his face a year after you met the first time. And I am incredibly grateful for that, and so humbled that I got to experience that, and that I get to keep experiencing that. I am incredibly blessed.

This year is a culmination of a lot of things, in a lot of ways. Not just with Shazam! and its incredible success and the fact that people all over the world are going to see what a star Zac is, what we have known to be true all along, but also in regards to Avengers: Endgame coming out. I started down this rabbit hole of a journey seven years ago, when the first Avengers movie came out. In 2012 I really, truly became that movie obsessed weirdo that I am today, and it all started with that movie, really. It was through Avengers that I discovered my love for Loki, and thus my admiration for Tom Hiddleston, and it was through Hiddleston that I became aware of San Diego Comic-Con. And it was through both these things that I found NerdHQ and ultimately yer man Zac Levi.

God works in mysterious ways, guys. And it’s funny, because I often get this question from my mom or people at my church— if I’m so obsessed and pre-occupied with movies and tv shows and actors, do I still have time for God? And it’s funny, because they don’t understand, that this is how I find God, how I see him and his work, every day. Movies is how I have, ultimately, found renewed belief and faith. God has used both Hiddleston and Zac in ways that they can’t see, it seems. I am a kinder, more loving person, a more generous and caring human being than I was seven years ago, because I found those movies, those stories, and those people.

Huh. I am honestly just sitting here, still only barely grasping how incredibly lucky I’ve been, how blessed I am. I have made so many incredible memories, found so many great friends through this world of movies and this nerdy environment, I have seen many places and wonderful things because of it. And sitting in that cinema seat yesterday watching my dude on screen being a fucking superhero and being fantastic at it, just hit that home for me.

I am so lucky.

I am so blessed.

And it’s not just the past, either. I’ve somehow managed to find out that Zac would be at CCXP in Cologne, Germany, on the very last day of early bird sales for that event, and I had the money to book that trip. And now, without any of my doing, the opportunity to work has come up, and with that money I’ll be able to balance these expenses right out again. How fucking lucky is that?

You know, sometimes I go full Freddie Mercury and ask myself, is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy? But it is in those moments that I see the post-cards on my wall with faces on them that prove that this is real life. It is in those moments that I open instagram and see a post of Zac’s and the gold chain of that necklace pokes out of the collar of his shirt. I open twitter and I see my friends from all over the globe interacting with each other, loving each other. And I get to be part of that. How fucking cool is that?

I am so lucky. I haven’t always had it easy, I’ve gone through some shit, am still going through some shit. Life is hard, you know. But I have been so incredibly blessed and I can see so much more of that on the horizon.

I said this to my friend yesterday, but, dude, life is short.

Do the cool shit. Spend your money on concert tickets, trips to foreign countries, opportunities to see your favourite actors, musicians, authors in actual real life. Meet your heroes! They could be dead the very next day. Life is weird and complicated and short. So make the best out of it.

Fuck what other people think! Go make yourself happy.

And with that, I only have one last thing to say, to ask. Go see Shazam! Do yourself that favour. Go see it. It doesn’t matter if you’re not into superhero movies or if you don’t like DC, or whatever. Go see it. You’ll thank yourself later.

I love you, people. Be good, be kind.

(Thank you, Zac. Thank you for this.)

#shazam #shazam!#zachary levi #movies #tv shows #blessed #writing #textpost #blog post #lucky

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arcanalogue · 5 years

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Obligatory ‘Meet Your Diviner’ Q&A

Okay, stepping out from behind my little screen for a moment! A lot of people following here nowadays may not know anything about me, or the background of this blog. You may not even remember following me in the first place! I can relate.

It occurred to me that some people MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW CERTAIN THINGS. And since I’m looking to build up my roster of Patreon clients (who likes monthly readings, or tarot lessons, or random tarot insights? You do!) it seems a bit of disclosure may be in order. If I do it honestly and entertainingly enough, some of you old friends might actually enjoy re-learning these things too!

So, below is a brief introduction — dagger points instead of bullets, because I’m old-school like that. Inbox me if there’s more you’d like to know!

🗡 Who are you, anyway? Hi, my name is Tom, I currently live in Los Angeles with my my extremely tolerant boyfriend. I grew up in rural Arizona and then ran off to New York at a formative age. Queer non-binary human, accepting all pronouns! I’m a dingbat Aries who frequently craves validation, but can’t accept a compliment.

Pastimes include retreating from the world so I can grumble about everything, and wearing too much perfume. I go to thrift stores almost every day, and have amassed too many vintage hat-pins. I keep a giant doll house in the kitchen.

Who wouldn’t want advice from a creature such as this?

🗡 Can I get a reading in person? Yes, but know that I’m shy about it. When I first started out in New York City, it was all about reading at parties and posting Craigslist ads to meet new clients. However, when you shine a light out in the world like that, you can never be sure who it will attract. In my case, it brought lots of interesting people into my life; some were a little too interesting.

For the most part, I prefer working from behind the veil of this little site, or via email. I’m at my best when I have an extra moment to divine deeply and then gather my thoughts; also, there are benefits to receiving readings that you can revisit as words on a page.

Ask me truly anything, I will do my best to respond!

🗡 Are you psychic? Sorry, but I’m not that person, nor am I an astrologer. I have a rigorous spiritual practice that I keep relatively private. However, I’m happy to share whatever inspiration I glean from it.

Originally it was important for me to understand tarot cards through a truly secular lens: archetypes, synchronicity, the whole Jung starter pack. I wanted to combat popular misconceptions about what the tarot is, how it functions, what it can do, and what it can’t.

That’s all very useful stuff, mainly so a reader can interact meaningfully with people from all walks of life, and all kinds of faith (or none at all). But tarot is NOT a secular or purely intellectual practice, and here’s why: no one knows where the “responses” are coming from.

Despite starting out as a skeptic, after many years of practice, I can no longer personally accept nowhere as an answer to that question, or consider the results of a reading to be purely random or meaningless. If you don’t believe the answers really mean anything, then why are you asking?

(If you’re asking purely to amuse yourself, I have great news: you can do that at home, yourself, for free.)

🗡 Why ‘Arcanalogue’? For about a decade, I have branded my site and services with this name, a mangling of Latin/Greek words that essentially refers to a “conversation with the unknown.”

Embracing the arcanalogue nature of divination (instead of demanding to know who/what is speaking) has challenged my beliefs in ways I couldn’t have expected, gradually rekindling my faith.

🗡 Wait, faith? So are you like... a Christian? Ha ha no. HA HA HA. No! But so much of the iconography in the tarot deck stems from early Christianity, I have learned more about this history and symbolism from studying divination than I ever learned in church.

Sorry baby goths — ya think it’s gonna be all demonic Crowleyisms and spooky #witchvibes and jacking off over sigils, but the history of everything is completely intermingled. You might still end up having to say the Lord’s Prayer. You might find that you actually really enjoy saying the Lord’s Prayer. Life is strange! And witch-life is the strangest of all.

You CAN just buy the Crowley and/or various #witchvibes tarot decks, but if that’s all you ever learn, you’ll only scratch the surface of the deck’s mysteries, which are a major source of its power. And if you hate Christian symbolism with a burning passion (who could blame you?) and you’re looking for a purely non-denominational form of divination, you could always just flip a coin! Or grab one of those oracle decks.

And even then, the goddess Fortuna may want a word with you...

🗡 What book do you recommend for beginners? This one: The Tarot: History, Symbolism, and Divination, by Robert M. Place (who has also created many brilliant decks, such as The Alchemical Tarot).

There are so many books geared toward beginners, very few of which really dig into the concept of divination itself, or how the cards really work. As a historian, Place can show you why certain cards have ended up meaning certain things, instead of just providing a list of meanings for you to memorize. He also teaches divination as a storytelling technique, so you don’t end up just regurgitating those meanings straight from the page.

🗡 Why isn’t this blog more active? Ouch, you really came for me with that one. I’d really like it to be! I work full time, and I love my work. The more people support me on Patreon, the more space I’ll be able to carve out for this project in my schedule. *hides*

🗡 Do you have any special rituals that you do when you’re giving a reading? I spent so many years actively combating the kind of superstitions that cling to the tarot like barnacles. If you don’t feel like your practice is “right” or “authentic” without including these, then by all means, do what you’ve gotta!

Just remember, you’re bringing all that with you into an experience where you’re supposed to be alone and vulnerable with your thoughts, opening yourself up to the unknown. Whatever gets you there!

Nowadays, I consider everything I do when I read to be a gift given to myself, in hopes of enhancing that effect. I’ve found over the years that when I cut the deck, I like to cut almost all the way down, not just halfway. To me, this is symbolic of casting a bucket deep down into the well of my unconscious. There’s something satisfying to me about a very deep cut!

The most personal rituals are the ones that mean the most. There’s value in sharing these with others, but dictating them as protocol is shabby teaching.

🗡 How do you know if reading tarot cards is right for you? If you feel any calling whatsoever, then I think you should answer that calling. That’s why I first started my blog, it helped me organize my thoughts and keep track of what I learned, what I’d read. Before then it had all been very scattered and vague, and my progress was much more difficult to track. And believe it or not, I’d already begun teaching lessons by that point! It’s humbling to look back on now.

There’s a lot of self-consciousness and social anxiety wrapped up in the idea of trying to read someone else’s cards, or presenting yourself as a reader. Hello, I share these exact anxieties!

But this is a state you must overcome at the beginning of almost any journey. Go be a big ol’ nerd and show the world where it can stick its judgment. I’m happy to help in any way I can! My “Learn” page links to some stripped down tutorials on a few basic subjects.

Back to an earlier point, if you feel called to take on a more-than-casual study of tarot, I urge you to learn the old ways as you contribute to new ones. Feeling connected to a tradition can be a tremendous support in times when you’re really not sure WTF you are doing. There are SO many new decks being made which are aesthetically beautiful but are very thin in terms of supporting a deeper connection to the tarot mysteries. An experienced user will be able to fill in the gaps easily. A newcomer? Perhaps not so much.

For those reasons, I recommend learning with the classic Rider Waite-Smith deck, or else one that closely reproduces its meanings.

The unknown speaks to us in so many ways. It always has. The process of learning how to listen, and how to help others hear it too, is cumulative. Others stand to benefit from whatever you learn while seeking.

🗡 You seem great! How can I keep tabs on you or interact with you more? I don’t mind if people follow me on Instagram (personal follows are fine also). I’m really boring on Twitter but there it is. I don’t really understand how the Tumblr chat works, so I don’t always see these until hilariously long afterward.

🗡 You suck, this was a waste of time and I want my four minutes back.

#tarot #tarot cards #divination #tarot readings

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