#LIKE IG AT THIS POINT??? IS MY DUMPING GROUNDS

[temeyes]

drew this for my ig followers, but changed the captions for tumblr and twt LOL (og captions on the cut below!!)

i feel bad for my ig folks,,,,,,,,, HSAHSHAHSAHSAH

#LIKE IG AT THIS POINT??? IS MY DUMPING GROUNDS #my only place to be TRULY unhinged #but for some reason with the new update. people are finding the animatics i posted there MONTHS AGO #my art #2023 #call of duty #call of duty: modern warfare #call of duty: modern warfare ii #call of duty: modern warfare iii #cod #codmw #codmwii #codmwiii #mw #modern warfare #mw2 #mw3 #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley #art #fanart #digital art #digital drawing #sketch #doodle #video games #activision

[callipraxia]

I am drowning in paper…I want to blame my addiction to back-to-school sales, but tbh…

1) I can only blame 3 of these on a back-to-school sale, and

2) I have a few more elsewhere, in odd sizes. (Not even counting the half-composition books I’ve decided to draft short stories in).

In my defense, I bought six of these (the purple ones on the far right and the first three red ones on the other side of the five pale blue ones) in threes on purpose; no part of FWJB perfectly fit a notebook (I wrote bits of two or three shorter pieces in the back of IV’s book, then tore out the perforated pages at the very back to donate to IE’s, which ran way, way over the length of the volume; the book for IG still has about 30 pages blank, as about half of it was only composed on the computer after I kept moving the order of scenes around, which made keeping them in a bound notebook…fun), but I got attached to the idea of writing in threes. Both the original three FWJB notebooks (3 is pictured in the foreground) and the purple ones are Leuchtturm’s; I got them half-price from a webshop that was no longer going to carry the brand, and this made them fall into the happy space between “nice enough to feel a bit special (and to handle the abuse of being lugged around in my purse for all that time), but not so nice or unique that I don’t feel like I can actually, y’know…write in them.” Four blue ones and four red/burgundy ones are from a Walmart brand, Exceed; same number of pages as the Leuchtturms, and share the fun trait of numbered pages, but a bit taller and broader and with heavier paper which is lovely to write on, even though they’re less than half the price of the Leuchtturms. Mostly got those on clearances too, though, as apparently I’m very odd in liking ruled notebooks and loathing dotted ones, so the ruled ones were cleared out. I don’t remember where the one with constellations on it came from, only what I had planned to use it for, but one of the two non-Exceed red ones came from a Tuesday Morning (a dumping ground for unsold upmarket materials at very low prices, like TJMaxx; I buy an odd amount of tea at those two shops, as they almost always have some of these really lovely English-blended Ceylons available, and I can’t find anything anywhere else quite like them). The constellation notebook was meant for a loose collection of short stories with Future Dipper that probably won’t happen; the purple ones were for another AU trilogy which also probably won’t happen…there’s 18 of them here. I wrote FWJB in about a year and a half, I think? So if I get back to writing at that speed again…geez, what, roughly ten years of workspace are currently in my kitchen? I gotta come up with another series idea…or, like, shake my head, point out to myself that the very idea of eventually writing 21 Gravity Falls novels is insanity, and dedicate myself to trying to write something original that I can at least attempt to make money with, but let’s be realistic, here. I’m probably a lot more likely to a) still be obsessed and b) still have an audience to inflict my obsession on when GF turns twenty than I am to straighten up and do something sensible. Not a terribly sensible person, me, as this hoard no doubt helps illustrate ;)

Moral of the story, though, kids: just because it is on clearance isn’t a good reason. Do what I was smart enough to do *before* I started my first trilogy, which was “only buy the notebooks when you have thoroughly committed to writing the book, have a plan already in place and etc.” Start thinking about the future and what you might do and next thing you know, you end up a) with a dragon’s cache of books to fill and b) eventually have an odd mood and decide confession is good for the soul and show said cache to the Internet at 11pm on a Thursday.

#writing #writer problems #fanfiction #real life #notebook #notebooks #rambling #seriously though even pros rarely write 21 readable books what is even wrong with me

[dannythedog]

You keep talking shit about Hannah but two days ago I was scrolling through her tagged pictures on instagram and you were there, quite literally holding one of her records and talking to her. You paid money to meet the woman, you paid for her stuff, you've taken pictures with her and you still have them posted on your profile, all because she's dating the dude you wish you were fucking. Please read the room and stop making a clown's ass out of yourself

I have never denied that I was a fan of her at one point. I fully admit it. And guess what? That’s changed. There is one singular picture of me talking to her on my ig bc it’s part of a photo dump about my concert adventures I had. I like the overall post and as far as I know you can’t remove one picture from it. And that post was back in October before I stopped liking her. Why does it matter so much to you whether I like her or not? Whether I used to be a fan or not? How is this affecting you? I stand my ground. I do not like Hannah Wicklund and as long as she’s a shitty person, I’ll keep shit talking.

#my asks #🍓🍓🍓

[daisyvstheworld]

Day 13 - Jan 13 - Prague

I’m SO ANNOYED

I wanted to do my hair assuming I had an extra hair tie in my bag so I sat at the Schonbrunn Palace cafe and they kept asking me what I wanted to order so I panicked and bought a tea. Turns out I didn’t have a hair tie so I was like duck and then I saw a sign that said if I was late to my entry then I might not get in so I started panicking so I got the tea to go and got the check. The tea was FREAKING 5.40 EUROS. A TEA!!!!!!

And I didn’t even drink it bc I was scared I was gonna miss my entry and lose 26 euros! So I drank like 1/4 of it and dumped it before the entrance. I was like 6 mins late, it let me in but I didn’t know it would because all of the signs were like “NO ENTRY IF MISSED ENTRY TIME” the worst part was the man was like “5.40 euros for you, just for you” and I didn’t even process but now I’m like WTF FOR A SINGLE BLACK TEA U CRAZY MOFO

Anyways, the Schonbrunn palace came with a free audio tour which was nice!! I paid for the full 40 rooms so I got to see some cool halls and I do think audio tours help a lot lmao I love Theresa and Sisi, also Sisi be like the first insecure skinny IG model of her time!! Learned a lot.

The palace tour really only took like 45 mins so I walked around the grounds, which was HUGE, and listened/watched the rest of The Sound of Music. I cried like 3 times. I’m so grateful to be here.

I totally forgot about the Apple strudel demo in the palace until I got on the U lmao.

I decided to just head back to Karlsplatz and see if the Hofberg or any other museum was worth going to. First stop though was Demel to get apfelstrudel bc I missed it at the palace. I got there and there was no line but it was super confusing to get seated and then lady seemed mad at me for seating myself even though they just kept pointing at the room as if I should seat myself. So she didn’t come take my order for like 15 mins.. it was annoying. Luckily, the food came fairly quickly and it was yummy!! It was like pancake clumps with raisins inside and a liquor-infused (I think) bowl of sliced plums. Very yummy. That was my lunch lmao.

From there I did some research on what museums to go to and decided to go to the Art History Museum, so I quickly went down there and spent a good 2-3 hours walking around. It was suuuuper pretty!

After that, I hurried out to start shopping - I needed to look for a bigger backpack, maybe some flats or nice shoes for the opera, and get souvenirs + dinner before getting home to shower, change, and maybe print, WITH enough time to go get Sacher torte and try the 9 3/4 bar.

I did it. Except printing. But I think I can do that when I get back from the Opera.

I finished getting ready around 5:50pm which was a TAD late so I ran downstairs and scarfed down my pasta salad in the dark bc the guest kitchen had no lights on. And I ate it with a spoon bc I couldn’t find a single fork, but it was yummy and it was nice to have some veggies even if it was only like 5 slices of cucumber and 5 cherry tomatoes.

I took the metro one stop and immediately went to Cafe Sacher but the line was insaaaaane. Turns out though they have a store where they sell all sizes of Sacher tortes bc it’s very famous. I thought about buying a torte to take home but it’d have to travel with me for over a week so I was like maybe not lol. I bought two little ones to go and they wrapped it all nicely.

I walked back to the 9 3/4 bar and ordered the gin and tonic drink. The hostess was a little confused that I was by myself hahaha but it was SOOOO good. Omg no gin flavor at all - although now I’m not even sure there was gin at all.

During intermission, I got a piece of gum and was putting it away in my jacket and the asian lady that was sitting in the front row was like “I’m leaving if you want to take my seat!” And I was like “omg are you sure that’d be amazing bc I can’t see shit in the back” and we got it talking a little and she’s from SF but used to live in Vienna and this is her first time back since and it’s her last night so she thought she’d squeeze in the opera but has a call or something early tomorrow morning. She was SO NICEEE and now I CAN SEEEE

#europe2023 #winter2023

[tigertofu]

6 & 10 for the writers asks! <3

:3 thank u for the ask kind anon !! <333

6) with oneshots i start with making a rlllyyyyy rough description of what i want to happen.,..just like getting all my ideas down in a very stream-of-consciousness sorta way

i do the same thing with each chapter in my longfic. for like,, broader outlining of it tho i have a 21k word google doc i lovingly titled "The Landfill" that is just a dumping ground for plot points/story beats/acts/ideas/EVERYTHING having to do with the structure of the story. all of this shit together is my "outline" ig. then i come up with the finer details when i make chapter outlines. more often than not tho i don't rlly follow the bigger outline cuz my story's plot has taken so many left turns i just keep coming up with shit and being like "oh!!! i actually want this WILDLY different thing to happen next instead" so the big outline is usually worthless lol

10) writing plot: boooooo hissss

writing settings/descriptions: prob my fav part i love it sm <333 i will take any/every opportunity to wax poetic abt scenery and atmosphere LOL

writing inner thoughts: very fun love it love it hell yeah character studying and introspection

writing dialogue: i HAVE to be in the right mood/flow to effectively write dialogue cuz otherwise i psyche myself out by constantly stopping and agonizing over "does this sound natural??? does this make sense??? is this funny??? is this in character???"

[bungled-writes]

"Stress Relief" - Football Player! Dream x Reader

AFAB Anatomy, GN pronouns

Not proofread so ignore the spelling errors

Summary: After narrowly losing the playoffs game, Dream needs your help in calming down in the boys locker room.

CW: Smut! (Minors DNI), use of 'Daddy', degration, Dream calling the reader 'Bunny' and 'Cumbunny', choking, dumbification, face fucking, oral (giving), unprotected sex, semi-public (in the school locker rooms), just all around sinful content, dacryphilia if you squint ig, soft dream at the end with some aftercare

Word Count: 2,405

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18+ Content. Minors DNI

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It was Friday, which meant it was game day. Oh glorious game day where you would go and support your wonderful boyfriend, cheering as loudly as you could from the stands. Game day, where you would hang out with him right before the game and give him his good luck kiss. Game day, the day that was the cause of not being able to walk most Saturdays. You see, win or lose, Dream always got out some of the extra adrenaline buildup after games. If the team won, he would shower you in praise, take you home and thank you over and over for being the team's good luck charm. However, today was not one of those games.

It was a high stakes game, the game that could get them to the state playoffs, but only if they won. The air was tense the entire game, especially the second half. Two points down. Only two points down in the fourth quarter. You thought that for sure they would be able to win this. But alas, as the buzzer sounded, along with many whistles from coaches, the scoreboard stood the very same. 14 to 12, the opposing team claiming victory. From your position in the stands, you saw your boyfriend rip off his helmet and throw it to the ground in a fit of rage. He was not the most graceful loser with a game this close and this high stakes. He made eye contact with you from your position in the bleachers, silently his far away gaze told you to 'meet him in the locker room'. Just that look alone made your thighs clench.

You waited a little bit, watching as people poured out of the bleachers, knowing that you wouldn't be able to enter the locker room till everyone else was gone anyway. But just sitting there, waiting was somewhat tortuous. Especially because you knew exactly what he was going to do to you. Soon enough, you felt your legs began to take you to the highschool, and into the gymnasium, your head just swarming with thoughts of him so angry, ravaging your body and taking what's his.

You pushed open the door, glancing around and seeing only Dream sat on the bench, wrapping up his hand. Right next to him was his gym locker, which now had a brand new dent in it. He looked up at you the moment you walked into the room, eyes hungry. " What took you so long, slut?" He demanded, words spilling harshly from his lips as he stood up and began to stride over to you.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't sure if everyone was gone yet.." you replied, feeling small under his emerald gaze.

" You're sorry, what?" He asked, looking down at you, unhappy with your lack of properly addressing him.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. " You said, eyes big and swarming with lust.

" Good slut. " He muttered, hands grabbing your waist. As he pushed you up against a wall of lockers. "You were pretty useless today slut...not really a good luck charm.." he growled, his knee slipping between your legs and pressing against your core. "So I guess you have to help me another way.." he whispered, soaking in the delicious whimper you made as he pressed his knee rougher against you.

"A-ahh Daddy please.." you gasped, not even sure what you were begging for. All you knew was it was very easy for you to become putty in the males hands. All you knew is that you wanted to please him and make him forget about losing the game.

A smirk spread across his face at your begging, and it grew even wider as he watched you start to grind your hips down on his knee. "desperate whore, wanting to get yourself off on anything, pathetic." He spat, taking one hand and pressing it to your neck. You just whined and nodded in response, which made him laugh. " I haven't even touched you yet and you're fucked stupid.. silly little whore! your mind goes blank even with just me speaking, doesn't it?" When you didn't answer and just ground against him more, he pushed you harder against the wall of lockers. " I asked you a question, cumbunny. And I expect you to answer." He growled in a dangerously low voice, making your entire body quiver.

You melted under his grip, eyes fluttering shut. " Y-youre right daddy! I'm just a mindless whore all for you.." the words escaped you so needily. " Use me Daddy.."

He lunged forward, capturing you in a hungry kiss. Your lips clashed together, him instantly taking control of the kiss and you submitting to him entirely. He took your lower lip between his teeth and pulled, eliciting another one of those whines that he was just dying to hear. Soon enough he pulled away from your lips, leaving you panting and wanting more. Your hips continued to grind down until he swiftly pull his knee away, leaving you with nothing to create friction with. You gave a pitiful whimper at the loss of even the simplest form of contact, but he just rolled his eyes. Both of his hands went to your hair, tangling his fingers up in it before shoving you down to your knees.

He looked down at you with a vicious hunger in his eyes. A hunger for you and only you. Your hands shot up and did quick work of his button and zipper, tugging his pants down quickly. Your eyes glistened as you licked your lips at the sight of his hard cock with just a thin layer of fabric keeping it from you. Leaning forward, you began to kiss and mouth at his clothed cock, mewling in protest when he shoved your head back into the lockers with force. "Not today slut. I need to put that mouth of yours to its proper use.." he growled, one hand staying on your head as the other quickly pushes down his boxers. He stepped out of his jeans and boxers, keeping you presses against the lockers.

His cock stood up gloriously in front of you, and the sight made your mouth water and your core fucking soaked. "Daddy Please.." you choked out, choking on your own desire for him.

"You'll get it soon enough cumbunny..trust me.." he purred. " But for now...open up slut. Gotta shut you up for a bit…" he hummed, both of his hands rooting themselves in your hair again. He pressed his tip against your lips, watching as you parted them.

Still holding your head against the lockers, he started to thrust his hips forward, staring down at you. He watches every single thing that you did, loving all of it. Loving the sounds that he was forcing out of you Everytime he slammed into your tiny throat, loving the spit that was rolling down your chin onto the floor. He loved the way that your hands rested on your thighs, clenching around nothing as they fought against the urge to touch your needy clit. "Such a pretty slut..all for my..just my personal little toy. Aren't ya bunny?" He cooed, shoving his entire cock into your throat and just holding you there, groaning in pleasure.

He let out a shaky breath as he pulled out of your mouth, a string of thick saliva mixed with precum connecting you to his cock still. "As much as I'd love to use this throat as my cum dump...I rather use somewhere else.." he said with a smirk, slightly out of breath from fucking your face.

Slowly beginning to catch your breath, you looked up at him with doe eyes and wiped some of the dribble from your chin and nodded. " Please daddy use me.." you begged once again, him letting out an animalistic growl and pulling you up by the hair. Once you were standing up, he let go of you and stepped back, pulling his shirt off and staring at you.

Your body didn't waste a moment, hands quickly moving to pull your shirts and pants off without thinking about it. Once you were out of all of your clothes, you looked at him, feeling his gaze. Sometime when you were undressing he had sat down on the bench, a hand wrapped around his cock and slowly pumping himself. You clenched your thighs together, walking closer to him. The moment you got within reach, he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you to straddle his lap. " Look at you cumbunny...all perfect ..all for me" he groaned as he attacked your lips in another bruising kiss, hands lifting your hips up and lining himself up with you.

You mewled into the kiss as you felt yourself sink down on him, your walls tight around him. " Oh daddy-!" You gasped, tilting your head back but you were cut off by him pulling you into another kiss, helping you sink all the way down on his cock. Once you were all the way down, he pulled away from the kiss, looking at you with a smirk.

One hand rested on your hip while the other went to your clit, fingers gently pinching the delicate bundle and making you quiver. " Desperate slut. " He said as he lightly slapped your clit, watching at your head rolled back, your hips soon rolling as well. The roll of your hips pulled pleasured sounds out of both of you, your back arching as he hit every perfect spot inside of you.

"Please Daddy, fuck me, please please please! Fuck me!" You begged out, arms wrapped around his neck. You needed him to just fuck you like a ragdoll. Like you were nothing but a little toy to him. You didn't want to be able to walk for the next week. You just wanted him to fuck you into oblivion.

"Yeah little cumbunny? You want daddy to fuck you stupid? You want daddy to make you cum over and over again on his cock? Yeah bunny?" He said as he stood up, hooking your legs over his arms as he slammed you against the wall again. He was holding you up, staring down at where you two were connected. "Daddy's gonna fuck you stupid.." he whispered.

He started to fuck in and out of you at a desperate pace, burying his face in your neck as he groaned right in your ear. You were in absolute bliss. His cock filled you just right and every thrust he hit every perfect spot that was aching for his touch. Your head tilted back against the lockers as your eyes shut. It had only been a few moments of this, but you were already gone. Broken moans and begs spilling out of your mouth uncontrollably as your hands scratched his back, desperate to grab onto something.

Tears started rolling down your faCe from pleasure, sobs of pleasure escaping your mouth as a hand dropped down and started quickly rubbing your clit. Dream pulled away from your neck for a moment and could've cum right then there at such a pretty sight all for him. Tears rolling down your face, leaving shining streaks accenting your face. Your eyes all glossy from crying and your lips glistening with spit. Your hand needily working at what he couldn't, pinching and rolling that little bundle of nerves. Your entire body was quivering in pleasure, and the sight of you already fucked dumb made him lose it.

He sped up,snapping his hips into you at a rougher pace. You gave a choked out whimper, feeling your orgasm closing in. " D-daddy! M-m gonna cum!" You gasped, unable to think of anything but his cock fucking into you at such a violent rate.

"Cum for me bunny, cum all over daddy's cock. Come on.." he said breathlessly, his own orgasm nearing.

After a few more thrusts you screamed out his name, going completely limp in his arms as you clenched down on his cock and your orgasm came crashing down on you. You came all over his cock, your toes curling in pure pleasure as your eyes rolled back. He kept going even after you came, making you whine and push on his chest, the overstimulation making you cry a little bit more. " I'm almost there hun..just a little longer.." he said softly, letting you know that it wouldn't be too long. " Just hold on for me .."he whispered sweetly. His tone was quite sweet and gentle as opposed to his violent and ruthless pace of fucking into you.

His thrusts soon got very messy and after a few messy thrusts his entire body shook, shoving his entire length into you. Your thighs quivered and eyes shut gently as you felt him start to fill you up. He groaned loudly as he came inside of you, burying his face in your neck once more.

Once both of you had reached your highs, he stayed buried inside of you for a few moments, both of you panting in unison. "You took me so well Cumbunny...took daddy's cock and cum so well. " He said softly as he rested against you.

Your attempt at speaking just came out as a few whines mixed with whimpers and a mumble of daddy. He chuckled softly. " Did I fuck you stupid sweetheart?" He said with a chuckle, pressing a loving kiss to your forehead. " Thank you…" he whispered softly. " Thank you for helping me baby..and you're always my good luck charm. You know that?" He whispered gently.

You nodded softly, just cuddled against him, mind still foggy and lost. " Okay baby..let's get cleaned up and then head to my house.." he said softly as he pulled out of you, smiling at the whine of protest. He changed your position so you were bridal style in his arms, heading over to the showers. He turned on the water and let it run over both of you, washing away traces of sweat and cum off of both of you. One hand lovingly ran through your hair, a smile decorating his face. " Open your eyes for me y/n. Don't want you falling asleep just yet.." he said gently.

Your eyes opened softly as you looked up at him, a tired smile appearing on your own face. " I love you dreamie.." you whispered softly.

"I love you too sweetheart. So very much.."

#Football! Dream #dream smut #mcyt smut #BungledWriting #I truly went feral #here you go #k: dumbification #k: choking

[jotunn-loki]

my king

FANDOM: marvel, mcu, black panther PAIRING: erik killmonger x female!reader RATING: explicit, NS//FW!!! WARNINGS/KINKS:  throne sex, praise kink, daddy kink, bj, power dynamics, blackmail? ish? a little at the end that’s implied ig

SUMMARY: An ally of the royal family, you were sent on a stealth mission to gather intel on the new Wakandan Empire with Nakia, but when she escapes without you, you are left behind and must...face the consequences.

NOTE: I just re-watched Black Panther last night and I couldn't stop thinking about erik stevens/killmonger, especially an au where he wins and holds power over well, everything??? so then i wrote this at 3am lmao. Reader is female and on the chubbier side:)

You are kneeled in front of your king, weight digging into the solid cold tile of the throne room’s floor, making you grimace in pain. It feels like you’ve been here for hours, even though it’s just a few minutes, and you know that it’s probably because of the way Killmonger’s hand is on the back of your neck, grip squeezing you gently, a wicked smirk on his face. “Looking pretty down there, princess.”

Of course, you are not a princess, but you appreciate the sentiment. And the pet name, which seems to be a favorite of his. You know only too well how Shuri would most likely destroy you on the spot right now for “stealing” her title—or at least get Okoye to do it for her—but right now, that doesn’t matter. Shuri’s fond annoyance can wait...or what would be fond annoyance if you were in anything but this situation. Fond annoyance would be reserved for you butting in to respond to someone addressing her, maybe teasing her in front of the Avengers. That’s what fond annoyance would be for.

Not for anything like this.

Because right now, you’re not sure that if Shuri, much less anyone else in the royal family, knew where you were, she would ever talk to you again. They ordered you on a stealth mission with Nakia to infiltrate Erik Killmonger’s tightly-secured nucleus of the Wakandan Empire, and yet, here you are on your knees before him, staring up at him as he imposes over you with heavily lidded eyes that tells you he knows exactly what you’re thinking.

It’s not that your mission has...failed, per se. You managed to get Nakia to the vaults she needed to access in order to re-transmit the old intel from before Wakanda’s takeover, and she slipped by you with practiced ease, giving you a terse yet respectful nod of her head and slight smile. You had both been extremely stressed; you couldn’t blame her.

And now she has escaped. You hope. You were not so lucky, instead dragged to the throne room and unceremoniously dumped before Erik Killmonger like a discarded whore. Maybe that had been the point.

The chamber is empty now, and every harsh pant of your breath can be heard echoing across the tiles. It’s beautiful, and ironic, and you wish that in another life, you could be here under pleasanter circumstances.

“Know why I brought you here? ‘Stead of killing you on the spot?” Killmonger suddenly asks, and his grip on the back of your neck tightens. You groan in pain, but also because this is somehow extremely arousing, and for a third reason, too: you are ashamed of your own bodily reaction.

Gasping out a breath, you say, “No. Why did you, my king?” Another sharp intake of breath as Killmonger draws you in, free hand drifting to your ass and pinching it. You wince, shame flooding through you along with arousal, and you let out a small whine.

Killmonger’s smirk widens. His actions have told you answer enough.

You are practically on his lap now—well,  just your head is, for your knees are still pressed stubbornly into the tile. And this lap… His legs are spread wide, even wider than usual to accommodate your head being pulled between them, chin tilted up to stare at him defiantly.

As if he can sense your thoughts, he shifts his hips, slouching lower in the throne so that his crotch is almost pressed in your face. “Huh, princess? This what you want? My fat cock in your mouth?”

You moan, practically salivating at his words, and you can already feel yourself growing wet. “M-My king—”

“Tell me what you want, princess.”

“I want you to fuck me,” you mumble.

“What’s that? I didn’t hear.”

“Fuck me, daddy!” you nearly scream, this time unable to stay quiet, as he has quietly slipped his fingers beneath the band of your underwear and is now ghosting over your clit in a tease. Fuck, you want him so badly, despite the ruin he’s brough to Wakanda and the whole world. It only makes you feel more ashamed, and that alone sends another burning spike through you.

With your admission, Killmonger grins. “That’s right, babygirl. Beg for your king.” You moan as his fingers begin to stretch you open, large and thick, preparing the way for his cock, for right now, you are nothing but a vessel for him to empty himself into, a fucktoy, a lost spy whose last chance at survival is to cum on the cock of the most powerful man in the world.

“Use me however you want me,” you beg, nearly a whisper.

He cocks an eyebrow. “Aight then, if you say.” His reluctance is not nearly as convincing as he would have it seem, however, for the statement is followed by him pushing your head back to the ground so forcefully that it hurts, and then pulling his fingers out of you with a slick sliding sound, arms coming to rest on either armrest of the throne he sits in.

He looks down at you and spreads his legs just a little further. “How ‘bout if you can get me close to cumming, I’ll fuck you, how’s that, princess?”

Quicky, you nod. You’ll do whatever it takes to please him, even if that means taking him in a whole nother way.

His lips twist to the side as if to say, well get to it, then, and you do, hands flying to undo his pants and push away the sides of the long robe he’s wearing. Soon, his cock finally springs free, and you grasp in eagerly, giving it a few pumps before taking it into your mouth, tongue dancing along it skillfully.

It’s not long before Killmonger takes control, though, and it becomes less of you giving him a blowjob and more of him fucking your face, dick pumping against the back of your throat furiously and without mercy. He is always without mercy. You choke on his length and size, but that only empowers him further, and he grins as he takes your hand and presses it down onto himself, making you bob along at his pace.

That’s new, and you feel like you can’t breathe, but that only serves to make you even wetter, so you let him continue to fuck your mouth, and when a thick pulse courses through his cock, you can tell he’s close, so you tear your head away before he can cum.

“Fuck,” Killmonger curses, breathing heavily. The part in his robes reveals his chest, heaving with his near-orgasm, and cautiously, you run your hand across it, feeling each of the burn scars against the skin of your palm. It’s so different from anything you’ve ever felt, but it only intrigues you.

Finally, with wide, pleading eyes that you can only hope look bratty, you meet his gaze again. “Will you fuck me now, my king?”

“I did promise you, princess,” he admits, dabbing at his own precum and prodding your lips with his wet finger. You open your mouth to lip, cleaning his fingers with a skillful tongue. “But you better take those clothes off.”

Though feeling a little self-conscious, you do, unwrapping the basotho blanket from your neck and the tighter layers underneath. Finally, you slip off your undergarments, leaving you bare in front of him.

Erik Killmonger’s eyes travel slowly when he’s assessing a situation, and this time, it’s no different, his gaze appreciative as it lingers on the curves of your hanging breasts and the swell of your hips and ass. “Come over here, babygirl,” he says to you, nearly a whisper, and you do, about to kneel in front of him when he stops you with a soft kiss to your lips and a hand clenching a cheek of your thick ass. “None ‘a that, now. I didn’t kill you for a reason, right?”

“I, uh—” You break off in confusion, unsure of where he’s headed. Didn’t he just want someone to fuck the shit out of? And you were there, so willing, so eager?

He smirks as he realizes that you have no idea what he’s talking about. “We’ll worry about that later, princess. Right now, I’mma fuck you senseless.”

Your pussy clenches at his words, and he grins at that, grabbing you and pressing you onto his lap so that your legs are folded on either side of him. The throne is large enough that it’s still comfortable, even with his legs spread out as wide as they are.

Slowly, you begin to ride him, moving faster when your body becomes more impatient. Erik hisses, hands settling on either side of your hips and using the padding of flesh there to aide you in bouncing on top of him with ease. “That’s right, princess. You’re doing so good. Fuck yes.”

It’s heaven, right here, and it sends a rush of thrill through you to know that this man fucking your pussy is one who’s killed hundreds of people, who largely rules the entire world with a fist made of vibranium. Not literally—though you wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to replace one of his own fleshy limbs with a metal one.

“Oh, my king, I’m so close,” you moan then, feeling your body’s tide reach near its peak. “Please, daddy—”

“Cum on my dick, princess,” he hisses in your ear, allowing you to ride him through your orgasm as obscene sounds emit from your mouth and your hands grip his shoulders, serrated and roughened as they are.

When it’s over, you collapse onto him and the throne, curling onto your side, plushy skin such a contrast to his muscled frame. You almost could fall asleep, if there wasn’t that one pinprick of fear, and of course, the omnipresent hatred festering for him in your heart.

“What were you talking about for a moment?” you finally ask him, eyes closed and head resting on his shoulders. He is absentmindedly running a hand across the bare expanse of your body, tracing lazy circles across the curve of your stomach and down to squeeze your thighs in appreciation.

“You wanna stay?” he asks. It’s an almost answer, and you frown. “Why should I do that? You’ve destroyed everything that’s important to me.”

“Then let me be that new important thing,” he says in reply. “Rule with me. Be my queen.”

“For the sex?”

He shrugs, and the movement is massive. “For everything. Whatever my babygirl wants.”

You suck in a breath. It’s tempting, for sure. But it’s also a betrayal to everything you’ve worked so hard for. “I can’t,” you admit.

“Then I gotta kill you,” he whispers. “And that’d be a shame, yeah?”

You swallow. Look at him. Swallow again.

“Yeah.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

A/N: well, lmk what you think!! (imma just be hiding under a blanket embarrassed that i wrote something this smutty). this fic is also posted by the same name on ao3, but i’m not linking it because then tumblr will hide this post lol.

TAGS: let me know if you want me to make a taglist!

#erik killmonger #erik killmonger x reader #erik kilmonger x reader #erik stevens #marvel #killmonger x reader #erik killmonger smut #erik killmonger/reader #erik stevens x reader #erik stevens smut #marvel smut #reader insert #fanfic by maven #mine #erik killmonger x y/n #erik killmonger x oc #erik killmonger x you #erik stevens x y/n #erik stevens x you #killmonger x oc

[aininx]

I LOVE the Encanto movie, and wanted to jump on the door trend too. But I dont want to draw myself on it, and thought 'might as well make some encanto ocs, 'cause im cringe like that'

Welcome back to another 'Ainin putting to much though into superfluous things!' This week its my current hyperfixation, Encanto!

Lets start with Romeo!

Romeo Madrigal is 5y/o and just gotten his gift. He is the son of Dolores and Mariano.

His gift is being able to resize any solid object.

Romeo is very sentimental, getting attach to things way to quickly. He got a too big heart and cries alot. He is also a hoarder and would pick up stuff from the ground and just keep it. Eversince he got his gift, it became much easier to do so. He also have a small- uh small habit of uh... stealing.... but y'know-. I also imagine when he is older he's a big flirt and romantic.

I wanted to give him a power thats is helpful but still visually interesting. Originally I opted for earthbending since that would be super useful, you can terraform lands, make bricks for houses, etc. But the power is pretty overdone and boring at his point.....

So I gave him a power to resize any object he want. It would make transporting stuff so much easier and endless inventory! You need something? Queue Romeo dumping all of his tiny stuff from his bag and pockets and pockets you didnt even know he have. Finally, he hand you the stuff like five minute later. Also if you're missing something.... Romeo probably took it.....

Rosianna Madrigal!

Shes 10y/o and is the adoupted daughter of Isabela and Valentina.

Since shes adoupted, she sadly doesnt get any cool powers. Though she is never made to feel bad about it, her tia Mirabel made sure of that.

Shes loud, brash, excitable and very extroverted. Shes also very active, and strangely strong for a 10y/o. She look up to her tia Luisa the most. Always saying how she wanted to be as strong as her and like helping her with chores the most. Shes the closest with Luisa, Romeo and Valentina. Yet, shes adores and is forever grateful for all of her family.

Valentina Gonzalez-Madrigal

Isabela's wife because she deserve one. Shes the the same age as Isa whenever this take place ig....

Shes a painter and have been painting eversince shes a tiny dumb baby, following in her dad's footstep. She prefers painting landscapes the most. Shes very loving and caring, always open to new possibilities. Isa had been pining over her for years, even when she doesnt know her name. The madrigal children have opted to called her as 'The painter's daughter'. Back then Isa would became super flustered around her, the amount of time Isa and Valentina bump into each other and causing paint to be fling everywhere was just ridiculous.

#encanto oc #ocs #i was struggling so much with romeo's door #i hope its clear what his powers are #also lineless art is the worst #it take so long to do and it doesnt even look that good #i dont know how people do it #but im never doing it again #also also #i love this movie #i could write essays about how great it is #oc: romeo madrigal #oc: rossiana madrigal #oc: valentina madrigal-gonzalez

[acourtofsnakes]

Solus - Rogue, Chapter 1| Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader(F)

Summary: So I don’t want to give too much away, but a rough outline - You are Force Sensitive, and after being hunted your whole life, you’re not surprised to find another Mandalorian on your tail. What you didn’t expect, was THIS Mandalorian. Nor anything that happen’s after. And so begins a journey of two Rogues (three if you count the womp rat). 

Warnings: Not many in this chapter as it’s an opening but, mentions of death, angst?, swearing, fighting, my rusty writing after I haven’t done it in years, let me know if there’s anything else!!

AN: So, I think this might be a little messy in terms of tenses. It jumps around from the past to present a little too, so I’m sorry if its confusing… Let me know what you think!! And if you want to be added to the taglist!

Word count: Just over 4k.

Rogue Masterlist | Introduction| 1: Solus| 2: Arir | 3: Tor | 4: Gaa'tayl

Rogue Taglist:  @snipskixandbeskar​ @weirdowithnobeardo

Mando’a translation: Solus - Alone

Alone.

That word had come to change its meaning over the years. When you were a small child, alone meant you were outside, playing in the grass and flowers with your parents just a few metres away indoors, within sight of you still. Close enough to come running should anything happen to you. Including that time you got stung by a bee and screamed so loudly the neighbours thought you were being raided.

A few years later, alone meant being shut away inside your room, windows closed, door firmly shut.

“It’s for your own safety, honey, you know what will happen… We don’t want this for you, we hate this, but we must keep you safe, my darling.”

You understood, of course. It was your own fault; you didn’t mean for it to happen… But just because you understood, it didn’t mean you had to like it.

A year on, alone changed properly for the first time.

The true meaning of the word hit you like a speeder when you were kneeling in the mess on the dusty ground.

Blood had soaked your knees, staining your tunic. It had coated your hands, your arms as you frantically shook the shoulders of your mother, willing her to open her eyes, to sit up and hold you. To stroke your hair and tell you it was okay, it was all just a bad dream. To take you home, where you could forget this whole thing.

It didn’t truly sink in until you heard your fathers strangled scream as he ran around the corner…

And then the sickening hiss and sizzle as the blaster hit him square in the chest. The way he tried to crawl across the ground to you and your mother, but there was a heavy white boot planted firmly in his back, a gloved hand yanking his head up and a vibroblade sliced across his throat.

His blood had coated your own bare feet as you ran to him.

You were only 12.

From that moment on… you were truly alone. No family. No more friends, they had all left when you showed them your power. Such a beautiful, natural thing, being in line with the Earth, the energy that connected all living things. It was rare, meant to be celebrated…

Instead, it just bought death upon those you loved.

So, as you ran from the horror scene within the market square, your parents blood baking onto your skin in the hot sun, you buried it. Deep inside, locking it in a box, surrounding it in darkness and keeping it hidden.

And that’s where it had stayed for the last 20 years.

~~~

Sorgan was a good place to be for a little while.

The air was breathable, the forests thick and lush, providing good cover, and the inhabitants were spread few and far between. It was quiet, the only habitable planet in its system, in fact, so it was… safe?

Well. That’s what you had told yourself when you made the split decision to come here after somehow managing to stow away on a ship that just happened to be going there.

You’d just been attacked by a Trandoshan bounty hunter, chased halfway across the planet you were on and forced to dump most of the belongings you’d managed to acquire for yourself in an effort to get away. The green lizard humanoid was… beyond eager. Hunting was their way of life, they thrived on the ritual of it and this one was no different. He was relentless. Constantly tasting the air for your scent with that disgusting flickering tongue. He’d even licked your neck once and you thought you might throw up all over his weird, scaly body. 

It had gone on for more than a week before you decided to try and get the jump on him. You laid a trap, using his eagerness against him and it had worked…. Mostly. You fought, hard, managed to sever his arm and you were just going in for the kill when out of nowhere the tables turned. Knocking away your weapons, he’d pinned you to the ground, a wickedly sharp blade pushing into your shoulder and scraping bone.

He took one look at you, battered, exhausted, blood soaking your shoulder and burst out laughing, preening in glee that he’d finally caught you, finally managed to capture the girl everyone wanted (you hadn’t bothered to ask if he was employed by the Republic or the Imperials. At this point, it didn’t matter anymore).

What he failed to notice in his gloating, was the vibroblade you pulled from the sheath on your thigh. One moment, he was laughing, the next, his head was thudding onto the ground next to your own, mouth still open in glee, reptilian tongue lolling out.

The next hour or so had been a blur, making your way through the town again, cloak pulled up over your head and over your shoulder to hide the wound. You’d managed to steal cloth and a tincture from a street vendor, binding and cleaning the knife wound whilst hiding in a small alley. It was there that you saw the ship, only a small cargo ship, the door left open. You’d slipped in like a ghost, settling between some crates of unidentifiable objects and let yourself slump, adrenaline leaving your body, leaving it shattered and full of pain. Too close. You’d almost been caught and taken back Maker knows where. Luckily you had that blade, one you’d stolen from an Imp a couple years back after he’d tried to capture you.

As you hid in the cargo hold, you heard the co-pilot ask about the turquoise planet.

“Sorgan? Why Sorgan? That place is beyond boring. I’m surprised the people living there haven’t started a war just for something to do.”

The pilot had laughed, “You’re right there. Barely anyone comes out here anymore. Most people don’t even remember it’s here.”

That suited you just fine then. A mostly empty planet with a krill-fishing village that kept to itself, swamps and forests… hey, maybe you’d finally get a chance to relax.

Since then, you’d found a little place in the forest, up high in some clustered branches, near a source of running water. It was high enough to stay out of the way of predators, but close enough to the ground that you’d be able to spot any enemies – and get away quickly.

You’d even made a friend here.

Well… sort of.

Your first night on the planet, you were trekking through the forests when your legs had just… given out. You were spent, mentally and physically, blood pooling through your fingers from the knife wound which had since opened up again. As you lay there, staring through the canopy, you decided that maybe this was it now. Maybe it was time to give up the fight.

You had been running for so long, it was a way of life now. Had more injuries than you could count and been hunted by twice as many people. Hunters and mercenaries of all species and origin, IG-11 droids, the occasional Imp or New Republic official, even a Mandalorian once – that one had been bad. You’d had to give in after you killed him and go to a hospital, he’d left a blaster hole in your thigh so deep you could see bone.

It was quiet here, peaceful, you remembered.  The treetops had begun to blur and swoop under you as you came to your decision.

I’m sorry, mumma, I’m sorry, papa. I tried, but I can’t do it anymore.

You had closed your eyes, giving into the darkness with a final goodbye and letting it wash over you like a tidal wave.

Only to be woken up what felt like seconds later by a wet nose and furry face pushing against your hand. Lifting your head, you’d blinked away the blurriness to find a rounded, big eared head resting on your hand. A Loth cat. It appeared that you’d gotten yourself a little friend.

Since then, she hadn’t left your side, following you everywhere, climbing up the trees and curling up on your lap of a night. You weren’t sure what had drawn her to you, but… it was the first companion you’d had in such a long time, and her warm body against yours was such a comforting feeling that you couldn’t bear to part with her.

That was a few weeks ago.

Nothing had happened in those few weeks. No fighting, no threats, no beeping of tracking fobs waking you in the night and sending you hurtling for the trees.

Nothing but trees, swamps and your furry little friend that you’d called Duru, after a childhood friend.

The only thing bothering you at this point, was your arm. You’d managed to smuggle some herbs from an apothecary hut in the fishing village, but it wasn’t healing properly. The wound had sealed, but it ached. Insistently. Some days it wasn’t too bad, but most of the time, it caused you enough grief that you struggled to grip anything. It was just lucky it was your non-dominant side.

A small groan left your lips as you rubbed at the skin around the wound, perched on a low branch, watching the village. The string of your bow dug into it, sending small shockwaves down your nerves and making your hand spasm. You shifted the bowstring, curling your hand into a fist and releasing it again to get some feeling back into it, an absent action as you just watched the day-to-day life of the village.

It soothed you in a way, just watching people go about their daily lives, how each person had a part to play. Even though you hadn’t met any of them and doubted they knew you were there, you liked and respected them nonetheless. So, whenever you snuck into the village for supplies, you always left something in return. Prey you’d shot down in the forest for food, herbs you’d gathered, fish you’d caught. Just a small way to say thank you to the for keeping you safe, even if they didn’t know it.

You weren’t sure how long you had been sat there for, eyes closed, one leg dangling from the branch and just enjoying the sunlight on your face, the cool and faintly briny breeze when Duru suddenly shot to her feet, a low growl rumbling from her throat. Your eyes snapped open in an instant, bow drawn and pointing into the forest, ignoring the lick of pain as your shoulder protested.

You scanned the branches, the ground below but… nothing. There was no-one there, but Duru was still staring, eyes fixed on something you couldn’t see. You huffed, leaning back against the trunk. She probably just saw a bird or a bug or something.

Still, you remained on edge for the rest of the afternoon, your hand flying to the hilt of your knife at every little crack of branches or whisper through the trees.

It took you a long time to sleep that night, but your body eventually gave in and fell into a somewhat fitful slumber, hand still resting on your bow just in case.

---

Beep.

Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Bee-

Within seconds, your eyes shot open and you were bolt upright. You knew that noise.

Instinct took over and you grabbed Duru, urging her still sleepy body onto your shoulders as you scrambled down the tree trunk… only to fall the last metre because of your shoulder.

Stifling the cry of pain, you shot back to your feet and took off running, in the opposite direction of that noise.

You’d been too relaxed, let your guard slip down too much here. You should have left the second Duru went on alert last night. Of course, her instincts were so much better than yours, but you ignored it. Like a fucking fool.

The curses kept slipping from your lips as you ran, not daring to see who was behind you just yet. Maybe you’d get lucky, maybe it was just a normal hunter, looking for a big job, not realising the countless that came before him or her. Or it.

You almost laughed to yourself as you zig-zagged through the trees, feet flying over the undergrowth.Maker, you had to get off this planet, it was making you too lax.

The predator’s presence was like a dark cloud behind you, slipping through the trees, lapping at your heels every time you thought you had gotten away. Trees and branches whipped past your face, stinging but you didn’t have time to brush them away. You didn’t even have time to turn your bow and shoot an arrow, the hunter was just that close. Your brain worked frantically, seeking for a way out, an escape, a distraction, anything.

Wait.

A distraction.

You cursed yourself again, drawing in a ragged gasp of air into your aching lungs as you fumbled at your belt. You had a small flash grenade in a pouch on your belt. You used to have three, you’d had them for years and only used them for dire situations. Like this one, you just need a distraction, even for just a few seconds to get up into a tree.

Duru dug her claws into your shoulders for grip – ow, claws -  as you activated the grenade and threw it over your bad shoulder without even turning around. The hunter was so close behind you, you knew it would work no matter where you aimed.

As the grenade exploded into light, you shielded both your eyes and Duru’s with the hood of your cloak, putting on a burst of speed and adrenaline and you bolted for a tree to your left, practically flying up into the canopy. Without hesitation, you began to make your way through the trees, almost sobbing with relief to the Maker that the branches intersect and cross over so that you can make your way across them.

After about 10 minutes of moving through the air, you stopped, hunkering down against the trunk of a huge willow tree as you tried to haul air into your lungs, whilst staying quiet. The pain in your shoulder nearly brought tears to your eyes, the ache in your chest but you stayed still, breathing in through your nose slowly, then out through your mouth, massaging the stitch in your side.

Was the hunter still all that way back? Was he looking for you on the ground? Maybe he was in the trees too, opposite you, watching and waiting to-

“You can’t hide from me.”

The voice came from below and somewhere to the right, a few metres away. On the ground then. The voice sounded male, a little distorted, but that may have just been the roaring of blood in your ears.

You barely breathed, scanning your surrounds and slowly rising to a crouch on the branch, calming your body into a hunters pace of your own. Slow, even movements, balancing your weight as you crept around the tree to a branch on the other side.

Even Duru was silent, hunkering around your neck, her head barely peeping out of your cloak.

“You might have evaded all the others, but you can’t run. Not from me.”

Typical. You rolled your eyes as you slipped along the branches like a phantom. Another hunter thinking he’d get the glory because he captured you. The faint call of fear in your blood quietened as you realised he was just like the others.

Let him gloat, you thought. He could be dispatched as easy as the ugly reptile last time. And his tongue. 

You kept your ears pricked as you eased over to the next tree, but you couldn’t hear him. Obviously trying to get the jump on you. You let out a silent laugh as you reached the adjoining tree and began to descend.

“I can bring you in warm. Or I can bring you in cold.”

You froze, going rigid, praying the leaves would hide you as one foot dangled in the air. He was right underneath you.

You dared a glance down, finally looking at your current attacker and…

Nearly fell from the tree.

Standing on the ground below you, pulse rifle pointed at you was a tall figure. Decked out in beskar armour so shiny you could have done your hair in it, the infamous helmet covering his face, tilted in an almost casual, cocky expression.

A Mandalorian.

The Mandalorian.

You’d heard whispers of this one. That beskar armour, more than any other Mandalorian has ever laid their hands on, paid for by the collection of a high-stakes bounty. A bounty which he stole back, from the hands of The Client and Stormtrooper bodyguards, breaking Guild code and going on the run. Wanted by The Galactic Empire, The Guild, and countless others, he became a rogue, travelling the Outer Rim with his little green child in tow, completing jobs and missions for normal people, all the while being hunted himself by Moff Gideon. He was relentless, one of the best, not hesitating to kill if someone threatened him or the Child.

Someone obviously wants you very, very badly, to call upon a wanted man to track you down.

And he obviously wants to bring you in just as much, to take the risk of this hunt. You briefly wonder just how much he’s being offered.

Fuck. You’re really screwed now, aren’t you?

All of this flashed through your mind in an instant, as your arm shook with the pull of your body weight on the wound. You made as if to move, put suddenly he’s there before you’ve even let your foot drop, a gloved hand grabbing the bottom of your cloak and yanking you to the ground with a thud. Duru made a yowl of protest, springing off your shoulder and into the trees, which you were relieved about because at least she’d be safe.

Twisting to avoid putting weight on your bad shoulder, you bared your teeth at him in a grin, “I bet you use that line on all the ladies, don’t you?”

Really?? This man, this Mandalorian was going to either kill or take you, and you were trying to flirt with him??

Shaking your head at yourself, you rose to your feet, grabbing your bow, thankful you spent 4 years saving the credits for it. It was made of a strong but flexible metal, perfectly shaped for your height, as familiar to you as your own arm. Its edges were razor sharp, a knifes edge. You spun, swinging it toward him and it lightly clanged as it met the armour on his forearm, the vibration skittering down your arm.

The Mandalorian lifted his other hand, a knife in it that he guided toward your side, “Only the ones that have a bigger bounty than I’ve ever seen on their head.”

You quickly jumped back, but not before he caught you, cutting through the fabric of your tunic and opening a small cut just under your ribs. “Ooh, now we’re onto flattery so soon? Careful, Mandalorian, I’d think you were trying to woo me, not kill me.” You flung out with your bow again, only to have him grab it, yanking it out of your grip and throwing it to the side.

Mandalorian made a faint noise, whether it was disgust or exasperation you didn’t know, “You talk too much” He came at you again, a flurry of fists and kicks that were almost too quick for you, making you realise that you weren’t just fighting some cocky hunter.

This was possibly the most dangerous Mandalorian out there, save for Boba Fett. He wasn’t going to let this go. You were a good fighter, excellent, even, but as you both danced a routine of attack and defence across the clearing, you realised… you just might not walk away from this.

You panted, ducking under his arm as he swung for you. Maybe… maybe you could go and seek help in the village, you could hide in a hut or a boat, beg them to take you in.

It was like he read your mind, seeing what you were planning to do, “Really? You’d lead me into the villages? Haven’t enough people died for you already?” His voice was like a rasp as it come out through the modulator, cutting straight through the clarity of the fight and into your heart, making you pause.

How did he know that? Your parents were common knowledge within the hunters of course, nearly everyone knew, but everyone else, those that tried to hide you…

~“Run!!! Y/N, run. Don’t look back, whatever you see, whatever you hear you must promise me you will not look back.”~

A hard impact to your jaw made you stumble backwards, dragging yourself back to the present. Asshole. He’d distracted you. “You’re talking to me about death? How many have you killed, Mandalorian?” You kicked out at his knee, your boot connected just under the plate that covered his thigh and he partially went down.

The Mandalorian grunted as he rose back to his feet, “I’ve killed, yes. But criminals. Murderers. People who deserve it. I haven’t killed innocent people.” He came for you again, fists up and his blaster out this time

You couldn’t help the shocked laugh as you avoided his advances, slashing out with another small knife, grinning when it found home in his shoulder, “You haven’t? What about all the Jedi your little clan murdered?” You spat out the word clan, punching him hard, ignoring the protest your knuckles made at the impact of the beskar. “You didn’t understand a people, so your first instinct was to slaughter them like animals.”

You could almost feel the frown behind the T-visor of his helmet, “That was before me, I was never a part of the war. And why do you care about the Jedi?”

~“Mumma!! I’m not leaving you!! I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, this is my fault, I shouldn’t have done anything, I’m sorry!!”

“Shhh, shhh, my darling. It’s alright. They just don’t understand you, that’s all. Which is why you have to run, you must go and find your father and be safe, please.”

“There she is!!! Over there! Kill anyone that tries to protect her”~

You hesitated, lost in memories of the past, explosions, screaming and blood. So much blood…

He shot out a grappling line from his vambrace and it wrapped around your ankle and he pulled you off balance and to the ground, again. Weapons made specifically to combat Jedi, people with the same abilities as you, reminding you just how hunted you were. He rose to his feet, walking over to you, “I don’t know why they want you. I don’t know what you’ve done. I don’t care. I just know that you’re a criminal, you’re wanted, and the price on your head is nearly as big as mine.”

You snarled at him, reaching for your vibrobrade and pulling it from your thigh.

He just sighed, kicking it from your hand with one foot easily and at the same time he jammed the end of his rifle against your shoulder, already having marked it as a weakness.

A howl of rage and pain ripped through your gritted teeth, and the edges of your vision started to go black. It was broken by the helmet coming into your eyesight, the moon bouncing off the surface, “Give in. You can’t win. Even if you beat me, more and more people will just keep coming after you.” His voice had turned to honey on a knife edge, persuasive. Wrong.

Right.

You shook your head, as if trying to shake off his words, deny the truth of it even as tears started to burn the back of your eyes. You arched your back from the floor, trying to get up, trying to shift his knee off of you but he was like a damn rock on you, pinning you to the floor. “Fuck off, you’re just as heartless as the rest of them.”

Your power cried out to be used, begged form that place buried deep within you, but you pushed it down. You wouldn’t, couldn’t. Instead, you swallowed, lifting your head and opening your mouth to scream.

Only for his hand to wrap around your throat, his fingers lightly pushing against you. It wasn’t enough to strangle you, or cut off your air supply, but the squeeze of his fingers was enough to warn you that he would do it if you tried to alert the villagers. The Mandalorian leaned down, close enough that you could see your reflection in the black visor. More honey dripped from that voice, worming into your head, your defences.

“More people will die for you. And I don’t think you want that. I won’t touch those villagers, but anyone after me might not be so lenient.” He tilted that stupid helmet, merely watching you struggle with another light squeeze around your throat, another slight prod into your shoulder.

~Explosions lit up the market, local people screaming and running for cover as spices and fruit flew through the air. You choked, searching through the smoke, until your bare feet landed in something warm and wet. Blood.~

As you glared up into the unrelenting metal, you caught your own reflections eyes. Bruised. Battered, snarling. A danger to anyone you came near. How many people had died because of you? Either directly or indirectly? All because you kept running. Maybe you just didn’t deserve it. Deserved to live freely. And hell, you were so tired. 20 years on the run, more if you count the years with your parents. Always having to look over your shoulder, never being able to completely trust another living person. The closest thing you’ve had to a friend in the last 5 years is a Loth cat, and even she left.

It was time to just… give in.

~“Mumma? Mumma wake up, please wake up. You have to, you have to get up, please mumma, PLEASE!!”~

You couldn’t do it anymore.

I’m sorry.

The Mandalorian saw the defeat in your eyes, the way your body slumped into the ground, your muscles relaxed. As a tear rolled down your cheek, you took one last glance at the stars, so you didn’t see him hesitate for just a second before using the shock of his rifle to knock you into darkness.

Next chapter

#the mandalorian x force sensitive! reader #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x force sensitive! reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian #din djarin #Pedro pascal #Pedro Pascal x you #Pedro Pascal x reader #star wars

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #anti huskerdust sorry folks #vivienne medrano #criticism #toxic relationships in fiction #how fiction impacts the real world #yeah im a wimp who cares? #hazbin needs to change for the better #concerned fan #dont be another yandev #dont be another yansim #stans and antis dni #stans and antis will be blocked and reported #hope this gives justice to my hero about the rl effects of addiction #rest easy Kiddas got this #still shitting myself #read more wont work sorry

[foramomentonly]

Stoner Malex Ficlet--12/12

Author’s Note:. Third of a collection of ficlets within the Stoner Malex AU, each one based on a promo photo from Vlambase IG. The title of each ficlet will be the date the picture that inspired it was posted. 

For my sweet anon, who had a bad day.

Inspo photo

Read on AO3

They head straight to Michael’s room at the Evans house after school, a rarity considering Alex normally has a shift at the Emporium or works relief for Arturo at the Crashdown on weekday afternoons. But the museum is closed for fumigation and Rosa is more reliable than ever thanks to rehab and, Alex suspects, the alluring distraction of Isobel Evans. And so, just as Michael is sweet talking his truck’s ancient engine into turning over in the student lot, eager to run out the tedious hours between final bell and Alex’s inevitable appearance at his door, he hears a heavy thunk behind him and a moment later Alex wrenches open the passenger side door and hauls himself inside, grinning casually and setting his heavy boot on the dash like Michael secretly hates, murmuring, “Take me for a ride, sweetheart?”

But why drive out to the desert to shiver in the harsh wind that blows over the wide, open expanse, the cold metal of Michael’s truck bed an unwelcome shock to their bare skin as they fool around, when they have the option of an empty house, a soft bed, and Michael’s stash at their disposal? So “take me for a ride” turns quickly into “take me home,” and they end up sprawled across Michael’s messy bed, Alex propped up against a pillow at the foot, Michael lounging against the headboard, both in sweatshirts to fight off the chill coming from the patio door, wide open to let the smoke and the stench out.

“I’m soooo hungry,” Michael groans into his sleeve, arm thrown across his face, but instead of sympathy he gets Alex’s bare foot creeping up his side, toes wiggling under his sweatshirt to dig playfully into his ribs. Alex had learned Michael is ticklish on this same cramped bed under very different circumstances the week before. Since that discovery, he’s been relentless.

“Stop!” Michael laughs breathlessly, reaching out and capturing Alex’s foot, holding it captive against his stomach. "I'm too high and too hungry for that right now."

“So get up, then,” Alex laughs, crosses his arms behind his head and makes no move to pull his foot back. “And get me some water, I’m thirsty as fuck.”

“But I don’t want to,” Michael whines, and though his eyes are hazy and heavy lidded, they soften when he looks at Alex spread out across his bed, the length of his body pressed against Michael's with a hand wrapped loose around his calf, and adds softly, “It’s so cozy here.”

“Then I guess you aren’t eating,” Alex shrugs, and though his returning smile is something private and warm, he’s clearly unmoved by Michael’s plight.

“You could get it for me,” Michael purrs, rubbing Alex’s in step idly with his thumb and smiling suggestively down his own body. ”I’ll trade you a blow job for a frozen burrito.”

Alex snorts.

“Like I’m not probably getting one today anyway,” he laughs, and Michael grins, digs hard into Alex’s arch with his fingers and bites his lip when Alex groans softly.

“You have a point,” he replies lazily, and begins working Alex’s foot, sore from a day trapped in heavy, constricting boots, with both hands.

“You trying to butter me up, Guerin?” Alex breathes, burrowing into his pillow, eyes slipping closed.

“Yup,” Michael answers with an exaggerated pop of his lips, and suddenly he’s rolling to a stand, turning Alex sideways across the bed by his ankle as he grunts in protest and pulling Alex gently up by his wrists. He leans in close, nose brushing Alex’s, and whispers against his lips, “If I have to go all the way to the kitchen, I’m taking you with me.”

In the bright, open plan kitchen and formal living room space, Michael heads straight for the pantry, cursing the time it would take to heat up anything from the freezer. He dumps the entire contents of the snack shelf on the large, central island and pulls a glass out of the dishwasher below, handing it over to Alex and pointing to the fridge.

“There’s filtered water in there,” he says, and rips open a container of Pringles, shoving a thick stack into his mouth and moaning loud as the salt hits his tongue. He's sorting one-handed through the rest of the haul spilled out artlessly across the counter when he hears Alex wail dramatically behind him.

“Noooooo!” Alex cries as he pulls out the empty Brita pitcher from the fridge, waving it in Michael's direction. “How could you do this to me?!”

“Uh-oh,” Michael says, searching the room with wide, wild eyes for a solution. He looks out the sliding glass doors, so large they take up half the back wall, and he lets out a sudden crow of triumph as he takes in the spacious green of the backyard. He turns and grins slowly over his shoulder at Alex.

 “I got it, baby. Come on.”

Alex follows Michael through the living room and out the sliding doors into the yard, neither bothering with shoes; the grass tickles Alex's toes and he giggles, cheeks warming in embarrassment, but the next moment Michael trips over a twig and makes a show of taking Alex's hand to guide him over the "treacherous pass," and it's becoming clear to them both that underneath the combat boots and the snark, the irreverent beanie and the burnout persona, they are two boys falling in love for the first time. And they're really, really high.

"Do you guys have a cooler out here or something?" Alex asks, looking around the small section of the yard Michael's led him to. It's surprisingly unpolished, mostly out of the living room's line of sight; sparse, boasting only a thin tree and overgrown brush along the property line.

Michael grins and bends over, picking up a thin hose and holding it loosely at his waist, an arc of water spurting from the nozzle after only a moment of Michael seeming to glare at it in concentration. Alex steps back to avoid the spray.

"How'd you do that?" he asks. 

Michael pauses, stares a beat at Alex, then the hose, and back again.

"Timer!" he finally exclaims, and Alex shrugs.

Michael grins again, biting his lip, and gestures with his empty hand to the free-flowing stream.

"Go on," he says excitedly, and Alex would think he's fucking with him if Michael didn't look so proud. Taking in the full image of Michael holding an inescapably suggestive object, shooting a steam stream of liquid no less, at hip level and encouraging his boyfriend to lean in for a taste, Alex's shoulders shake with laughter, even more so when Michael leans into it, jutting his hips out and lowering the hose another half inch. 

"Come on," Michael says, voice uneven as he begins to lose his own composure. "Like you weren't probably gonna be doing this today anyway."

Alex snorts at his own words echoing back at him, but he bends his knees, folding in half and resting his palms atop his thighs for balance. He opens his mouth comically wide, his tongue flat as he extends it towards the stream of water. He's still laughing, nose scrunched and eyebrows high, and Michael mimes anticipation, jaw dropping open and lips pulling into an exaggerated O, tears bright in the corners of his unfocused eyes from laughter.

Alex is about to drink in earnest, his laughter turning into hoarse barks in his dry throat, when they hear a low voice behind them.

“You know water comes out of all the faucets, right?” Isobel says, arms crossed and hip cocked. She’d be the perfect picture of condemnation if she weren’t biting her lip to stop the spread of a broad smile across her face.

Alex and Michael lock eyes, twin looks of disbelief and amusement on their faces, and they collapse onto the rough ground in breathless laughter, Michael snorting into Alex's shoulder as Alex lies flat on his back, fist in his mouth to preserve what dignity he might still have as tears stream down his temples and his entire core shakes.

Isobel rolls her eyes and turns back toward the house.

"I think I liked it better when you two were sneaking around," she mutters under her breath.

Their shrieks and snorts finally dying out, Michael props himself up on an elbow over Alex's chest, a soft, dopey smile on his lips, and Alex lifts his hand to run his fingertips softly across Michael's cheekbone and into his hair, pushing an unruly curl out of his eyes. 

Almost in unison, they breathe, "I didn't."

#malex fic #malex #stoner malex au #alex manes #michael guerin #cw: weed #roswell new mexico #roswell nm fic #my fic

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

Nation Worldbuilding Stuff

A big old headcanon dump of how I think the nations function and their biology and stuff ig. All these concepts probably have been written by somebody else, I’m just picking and choosing which ones I like in my universe and putting them here. Also, this is just my interpretation, so if you don’t like my takes, ignore this and write your own. TW LOSS OF LIMBS IN THE “BIOLOGY” SECTION

- Not a big ol’ family bound by the shared experience of immortality and the horrors that come with it. They can be soft with each other sometimes, and many of them see each other as brothers and sisters and family, but there’s stuff that some of them still need to work through and it’s quite tense sometimes (*looks at the Asians, even in modern day, and cries*)

- Also related: some of the older ones, especially the ones who’ve been empires at some point or another, are very cynically minded. If you’ve played the game for a couple hundred years, you know everybody’s acting in their own interests in the end.

- There are some, like Francis and Thailand and the younger ones, who are more pure of heart and optimistic about the motives of their colleagues; they prefer to see the others as people, people who want happiness and warmth and love, instead of countries that have their own agendas. It works pretty well in modern day since everybody has to cooperate anyways. However, during other periods in history? Not so much.

- There are a lot of trust issues and grievances. Some countries prefer to separate politics from culture, and so their relationships might look smooth most of the time, but once politics get involved in their interactions, the temperature in the room drops a few degrees.

- World meetings: actually UN meetings. Their bosses are usually the ones who do all of the actual work and speeches, they just hang around and watch and talk with the other nations about it. They have a lot of meetings outside of that, but only with one or two other nations (or with small groups like the G7). Again, most of the time it’s just their bosses doing the heavy lifting, but they do get to talk with the other nation about what they think about the deal/trade agreement/peace treaty getting signed.

- They are made up of a) the land and b) the people. As such they have traits from both, but are also their own individual, with unique physical appearances. They also have a “vibe” they give off that’s a combination of their history and prominent features of their land.

E.g. they may remind you of an object or feature of their country that is a prominent cultural symbol (Vietnam’s appearance has a lot of parallels to bamboo stalks) and their appearance also alludes to their history (somehow). I need to work on this hc but yeah, something like that.

- They look pretty much human but they can sense when another one of them is nearby; humans also have some vague sense of nations being not normal and inhuman when they see them, but they can’t really put a name to what makes them unusual.

- Memories: they have individual memories and their own feelings about a certain topic or leader, but they’re also influenced by the thoughts of the people. So they can be influenced by propaganda and waves of change, and it can also affect how they view a certain part of their history; if the govt. suddenly decides to demonize/glorify something, they can be influenced by propaganda because their people have been influenced by the propaganda, and their memory of events is now the same as the “official version” released by the govt, no matter how they felt about the events before. However, with practice, they can separate their individual thoughts from the thoughts of their people and keep their own memories more or less intact; most of them know how to do this and do it often.

- Biology: they cannot have “children” via intercourse either with humans or nations; they can only influence younger nations and their culture until they’re a bit like relatives. Obviously some of them are related, but those are just different parts of the same country, like North and South Italy, or successor countries that are taking over from the ancients (Rome and the Italies). Countries like China and Japan are not fully related but are distant relatives by “blood”.

- They can come back from “dying” physically (ex gunshot wound, decapitation, drowning, etc.) after a little while; for example, if they drowned in the ocean they’d wake up after a couple hours lying on a beach, covered with seaweed and extremely wet, and perhaps with some leftover water in their lungs. If they died on the battlefield they’d go down and wake up again, a couple hours later, somewhere near camp. If they’ve already been buried after they’ve died, they just sorta disappear from their coffin or whatever they were buried in and wake up wherever they were last that didn’t have a lot of people (Francis dead from the guillotine? Wakes up lying on the ground at the base of the guillotine with a hella sore neck, or in his house. Yao, poisoned at dinner and dumped in the river? Wakes up in his quarters, lying on his bed, first thing he does is laugh at the emperor’s stupidity.)

- If they lose a limb, it'll either grow back later or they might be able to reattach it to their body (ehehehe gross gore). For slight wounds (deep cuts, arrow wounds, minor burns, etc.) the skin and muscle underneath will heal pretty quickly, if not immediately. However, if the economic and political state of the country is unstable, it will take longer for them to patch up, and also longer for them to come back after dying. Even when they are not wounded, they will feel unwell due to a shaky political or economic situation (ex. wartime, losing to the enemy, civil war/dynastic changes → feeling weak, lightheaded, achy, in pain, tired, etc).

- Although they can heal pretty quickly, getting injured or killed in the same place and using the same method can cause scarring, and destruction of their land can also cause scarring on the nation themselves. Also sometimes they just get scars for unexplained reasons, even though the wound itself healed normally.

#nation lore #hetalia headcanons #nationverse headcanons #aph headcanons #hetalia #hws #aph #musings #headcanon musings #hws headcanons

[tscmu]

- double unrequited

- the second years argued. a lot. youd think the lot of them were conjoined at birth. so it wasnt surprising when a girl came into the mix, and tore their hearts into pieces, huh?

w/c- 1717 pairing/s- atsumu x fem!reader, suna x fem!reader and a lil bit of osamu x fem!reader ;) genre- idk lmao but theres a lil angst ig warnings- secondhand embarassment, TINY mention of pornography, heartbreak a/n- THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE EHEHEH anyway my writers block’s kinda over????anyway read 2 da end for a surprise twist ;))) 

as the sun started to set over the small area of the hyogo prefecture, all was calm. birds chirped every now and then, flying through the cold skies, enjoying the october buzz in the air. trees’ leaves were littered over the pavement and roads, crunching whenever they were squashed by an oncoming boot. however, if you were to wander through the inarizaki high school grounds on that day, you would hear a buzz of arguing from a specific gym.

“for fucks sake! samu, help yer dear brother out here.. it's pronounced gif, not whatever this ‘jif’ crap is!” the blonde haired, tall setter of the volleyball team leaned backwards on the bench, staring at someone behind him. the latter was the similar looking, gray haired opposite hitter, who just rolled his eyes at the comment.

“first off, yer no calling me yet ‘dear brother’ again. you’re getting zip from me.” he said, taking a glug out of his bottle as the blondie yelped in shock. the slightly taller, brown haired middle blocker giggled to himself. “plus, its technically jif anyway, everyone just says gif because its what society projected onto us.”

“oh, shut up with all that logical bullshit.” the blondie rolled his eyes, standing up and slamming his bottle down onto the space that was left. “oi, kita, ‘s break over?”

“i mean, technically ‘s over whenever ya want it to be. just go spike some balls or something if you’re bored.. oh, hi!” the shorter, white-and-black haired captain slowed down talking, turning to look at the door. all the boys turned around shortly after him, staring at whoever was there.

as you stood against the door, your hair blowing slightly with the wind behind you, your face slightly sweaty having run all around the school, most of them were mesmerised. your face flushed a deeper shade of red after seeing all their eyes glued to you, and you laughed a little.

“oh, sorry, i’m trying to find the girls basketball gym!” you smiled, tilting your head a little. “is this volleyball? sorry, i’m new, i just got told to go to the basketball gym after school for the first practice, but i have no idea where i'm meant to be going!” you giggled slightly, making atsumu and suna go pink. “sorry for disturbing you!” you waved slightly, hopping back down the stairs up to the doors. however, you stopped after hearing footsteps and voices behind you.

“it’s oka-” kita started to say, before sighing, seeing what was happening before him.

“i’ll help you!” atsumu shouted after you, grabbing his jersey in case you were cold.

“i can show you!” suna also shouted, pushing atsumu out the way and grabbing his bottle.

“simps..” osamu and aran both said, shaking their heads as the two boys continued to shove each other.

“no, i will.” the former's voice turned serious, slowing down as they reached the top of the steps. suna frowned, and opened his mouth to say something else, but they both got distracted as they heard your mesmerising laugh again.

“you can both come, if you want, i really don’t mind!” you smiled, doing that little head tilt again. they both nodded instantly, before frowning at each other as soon as your back was slightly turned. “okay, so i’ve walked in on about ten other clubs..”

ever since that moment, it was just a competition of who could win you over. the rest of the boys had moved on, teasing them both for their pure urge to beat each other. all of the boys argued, but nothing was ever as heated as atsumu and suna’s debates. there was a new one every time they went to practice, from something as big as the death penalty to something as tiny as how much diluting juice you put in the glass before you add the water. it was stupid, but they‘d been like that for years now.

but with this argument, it appeared neither of them were actually ahead of the other, like it usually ended up.

suna went for a more romantic approach with you. offering to walk you home, waiting for you after classes, walks through random forest paths on sundays. it wasn’t what he was used to, he’d never paid that much attention to girls. they all seemed to fawn over the miya twins anyway. but it was when you seemed to pay genuine attention to him, it caught his interest. 

obviously he found girls attractive, but the girls he saw online were never the same as girls in real life. not even just porn or anything, even in romance films, they were all so secretive. he didn’t really have the charm either, so he found himself just waiting for a girl to make a move, and if she didn’t, he’d just.. give up. you were unique to him, though. it got to the point where you’d wait for him after class too, wait at the front doors for him to come out so you could walk home, texting him at 9 in the morning asking if he wanted to go on that one walk again you did about a month ago. it took him by shock a little, but he didn’t want it to stop.

whereas atsumu, on the other hand..

to be frank, girls weren’t a big deal to atsumu. he’d always had that blessing of girls fawning over him, so he’d never had to worry about ‘winning over’ a girl. but it hit him when he met you.. he was gonna have to fight for you, wasn’t he?

he visioned you as a more.. modern girl. he assumed suna would go more traditional, the man had no experience with girls, for god's sake. he basically assumed he would win you over.. who wouldn’t pick him over anyone? and so he started. he did with you what he did with every girl, midnight drinking on a random roof, random shopping trips into town, secret lunchtime conversations behind the school. he didn’t think much of it at first, why would he? you were just another girl he’d probably date for what, a week or so, then you’d dump him after actually realising what he’s like. he couldn’t picture himself settling down. but.. you changed him, in a way. he finally found something he wanted to work for.

what was the one thing in common with these stories though?

you never actually showed any form of romantic interest in either of them, throughout this whole ordeal.

so then, after what felt like years, two days before atsumu left for the training camp, they decided it was the day. the day to confess.

neither of them actually knew about the other's plans, it was just pure coincidence they saw this as the opportunity. atsumu because he could try to sweep you away with him to tokyo, suna because he could tease atsumu about it while he was gone. it was a good plan, on both sides., you had to admit, after hearing it a while later. 

“the fuck’re you murmuring for?” atsumu frowned, turning around to look at suna, whose head was in his hands.

“mind your business..” the latter muttered, murmuring under his breath again, making atsumu shake his head. he wasn’t scared, why would he be? you were bound to say yes, for the past few months you’d been spending time with him. you knew what he was like, as he did with you.

“eh, suit yourself. i need to find y/n..” he said, picking up his jacket.

“what? y/n? but i need to find her!” suna snapped back into reality, his eyes wide as atsumu glanced at him

“..yeah. well, you can speak to her tomorrow or something, this is important.” he said in a careless manner, starting to walk towards the door, but stopping short, seeing the door slide open.

“oh! hey, tsumu!” you appeared from outside, your faux fur hood tickling your neck as your beaming face came into the light from the slight darkness behind you. it couldn’t help but make him smile.. god, he couldn’t wait to call you his. suna, from behind him, felt himself smile too, you were stunning. “you ready?” you looked behind atsumu, but as he whipped his head around, he realised you weren’t actually looking at suna either.

“yeah, your place tonight?” oh. oh no. as atsumu realised what was happening, his mouth dropped open. osamu stood up from the bench, his jacket slung over his shoulder as he crossed past both suna and atsumu, kissing you on the forehead.

“you bet! god, my mum’s been so excited to meet you.. bye boys!” you waved at both suna and atsumu separately, going back to chattering to osamu.

“what.. the fuck?” suna said, frowning. atsumu joined him, still in a state of shock.

“yeah, what the fuck?” he turned around, mouth still open.

“oh, you didn’t know? they’re dating, have been for what, a month or something now?” kita smiled, while aran tried not to burst out laughing to his right. “during the christmas holidays, they hung out a bit. i think y/n came looking for atsumu, but he wasn’t in, so she decided to chat to osamu instead. did you seriously not know?” kita laughed a little, and atsumu’s shock turned to anger. ths, of course, made suna burst out laughing.

“what the fuck? no, what the actual fuck? how did i not know the girl i was in love with was dating my brother?” he looked around a little, looking for assistance, but all the boys were snickering at him.

“now i think of it, that was extremely obvious.” suna said, laughing more by the second. he was sad, of course he was! the girl he was falling drastically in love with had a boyfriend, and he had no idea, that would break anyone's heart. but.. this was extremely funny.

“fine, lets just go then.” atsumu humphed, dragging his feet as he walked to the door. “to be fair, she was looking for me. probably liked me more.” he said as they reached just outside the door, and suna shoved him into the wall. “oUCH! THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?” he yelled, making kita chuckle to himself.

these idiots.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyu #Haikyu!! #inarizaki #atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya twins #miya atsumu #miya osamu #osamu #osamu x reader #suna rintaro #suna

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

5sos Lyrical Analysis

A/N: Hi! I just wanted to start this off with a huge thanks to everyone that sent me in lyrics. This project has been two fold: Part one is just looking at certain lyrics, for my found poem series. This just means I want to use and even respond to certain lyrics in my poems. I compiled them into two separate lists:

Find Youngblood here.  

Find CALM here. 

The second part was to take a close look at the overlap in lyrical content between Youngblood and CALM. This is NOT a complete analysis of their lyrics. I wanted to make that clear. I am by no means intending on making a complete analysis of their lyrics. I am not even attempting to make a completely analysis of these two albums, though I’ll touch as many basis as possible. 

Please note: I am using the phrase ‘narrator.’ One, this is an old habit carried on from all the close readings I did on poetry. There’s typically, out of respect, a division between the author of the work and the narrator of the piece presented. These two can, and sometimes do, overlap, especially in forms like poetry. But I feel it’s important to use ‘narrator’ even in this analysis. Old habits die really hard and sometimes never do. But also because it feels more respectful to assume a collective unit and unified front rather than trying to piece apart the personal experience to a specific member since I am looking at just the lyrics, I’m not scoping out Twitter, or IG, or Cocktail Chats. I know those connections are there. The only thing I wanted to focus on was the content of the lyrics as they are presented, solo, nothing else. I recognize and understand that each member is bringing a unique experience to the table and there is plenty more in these songs if those other pieces are added. 

These are gonna be a little disjointed. I’ve been staring at lyrics and notes for two weeks at this point, almost. I’m sorry it’s not necessarily a more cohesive front. So please enjoy! And feel free to send your thoughts!

All that are below are my personal opinions. 

I’m just going to hit the ground running. I’ll be including pictures of the chart and then a paragraph of my thoughts below them. 

CW: Mentions of drugs (recreational and prescribed)! Just in case anyone is sensitive to that.

Enjoy below!

Youngblood deals with heartache, but there’s an internal struggle on how to heal and move on. So in songs like “Better Man” and “Monster Among Men” that internal struggle is seen via introspection. In CALM, the same sense of struggle is seen in “Red Desert” and “Old Me”. However, an interesting deviation occurs in the lyrics of “Teeth” where now there’s a very specific identification of a person that the narrator sees as causing them turmoil. I’d like to note in both albums there’s a clear you present in both albums, which is a source of heartbreak and pain and even that you is addressed in several songs. However, “Teeth” stands out because of the you just being transformed from just a human that receives and dishes out pain, into the personification of a devil. This you in a way seems to have lost their humanity. And perhaps to the narrator there is a small appeal to that, with the addition of “put your hands on me.” An important thing to note is that while Youngblood and CALM never fully resolve their issues, but there is growth and maturing that’s heavily seen in CALM.

In some ways, I am about to state the obvious: Fire is destructive and flames takes no prisoners. However, an interesting thing about something that is destroyed is that it leaves in its place the opportunity for something new, and potentially better to be planted. “Valentine” leaves behind a feeling of combination, intertwining with “so deep, your DNA’s being messed with my tough/ Can’t beat us/ So real, fueling the fire until we combust”. And even though it seems to lead to an explosive end, the point here seems to be much more focused on the journey, riding the high no matter what. This is a theme, that I think, heavily seeps through Youngblood. Youngblood seems less focused on the results and much more focused on the journey, the ups and downs, the pleasure and pain. There’s a search in Youngblood, a quest for answers that in some ways CALM answers. One such answer can be see in CALM’s “Old Me” with the line “Ashes on the floor, but I’m walkin’, walkin’, walkin’ out of here alive.” Even though the journey might of ended in flames and destructive, the narrator still remains, they are still able to come out on the other side of everything they have endured. Another answer resides in “Lover of Mine” where the narrator is asking in some ways that their loved one to use fire for rebirth of the relationship with the lines, “All of my regrets and things you can’t forget/ Light them all up, kiss them goodbye.”

On the opposite end of the search and possibly more aligned with yearning, in Youngblood with “Babylon.” The chorus centers around taking the adventure of love to it’s highest point but the aftermath of the crash as well “We both said we’d love higher than we knew we could go” and “Burn to bright, now the fire’s gone, Watch it all fall down.” I will come back with more on Babylon further on.

A lot of Youngblood is a struggle of man vs. himself, an internal struggle to let go, to move on, to figure out one’s identity. In CALM that struggle remains present, but a new conflict is presented, in the form of a relationship. We can see in Teeth the narrator has started to directly reference a “you” where conflict now resides, “Some nights you’re the only thing I know/ Only thing burning when the night grows cold”. I like to conclude that there is a hot and cold aspect to the relationship that the narrator is seeing. In a previous line, “Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife,” the narrator expresses that there are some redeeming qualities, that there is some good. Whether not this is the exact same relationship as discussed in Teeth is not a question I want to undertake, however, in “Lonely Heart” there’s a reference back to the bad, “Our house on fire, we’re burning/ We dance inside, you’re hurting.” Not all that glitters is good proves itself right once again. 

I combined the light and dark with the night and day imagery. I did so for space sake. This could easily be double the size it is currently, but also because there is sometimes the passage of time associated with the both light and dark and night and day. They are transitions. The transitions in Youngblood and CALM occur with lyrics like “I saw you looking brand new overnight” from “Lie To Me” “Call me in the morning to apologize/ Every little lie gives me butterflies” from “Teeth” and “I don’t wanna kill my time with anyone else/Dancing in the dark till the sun comes” from “Kill My Time”

I also choose to separate out the light and dark from other color imagery because of the way it echoed and resonated with daylight, moonlight, midnight and creating shadows in the lyrics. There’s a very specific sense of time in some songs. In Lie To Me we get the reference “3:00 AM and the moonlight is testing me” paired up right against “if I make it till dawn it won’t be hard to see/ I ain’t happy.” The passage of time, or rather the supposed passage in Lie To Me, illustrates how things can change, or be shaped and molded. 

A pretty cool thing I noted is that there’s references to time with  “midnight, daylight, 3:00 AM, tonight” and that brings along the brightness of and the absence of the sun and light where as in particular with No Shame the only reference to light if from a camera flashing. This made me wonder more about the appearance of light and perception. There is a face that the narrator knows is only seen captured by photographs and while at events with the bulbs of a camera and the true face of themself that only they would get to experience. 

I included this section about drugs and alcohol to illustrate a certain aspect of growing up. I’m not attempting to romanticize any use of drugs, alcohol, or nicotine. These are statements, from the narrator, that yes they have used them. But this is about the narrator’s experience. And I, as little old me, ask is that you please be careful out there!

 Back to the lyrics, it’s fascinating to see how the relationship with substances as evolved. If we start towards the end of Youngblood, we get a tale of the narrator and their best hosting a party while parents are out of town, having the cops called on the party, and then riding out in the car, continuing the party, but at a much smaller capacity in “Best Friend” to a very helpless feeling in “Why Don’t You Love Me” with it’s line, “Few drinks deep at a table for one. and then we expanse to “Get you high when I’m high” and “Sugar coated brain, the fluid ain’t to blame, for the sugar coated pain” in “Empty Wallets” to a memory, the reality that even parts of our life journey that weren’t great for us can still be missed with the lyrics in High “And I’ll always miss the memories of the morning we were high.’ The question can continue further to the point: Does the mentality create a challenge for recovering and moving on? And I personally think, sometimes yes it can. In other times, we can still remember those moments but ultimately realize that there is better progress made by moving forward. 

We do get a reference to Xanax. Notably, it is a benzodiazepine which are notoriously hard and dangerous (if not done right and with professional help) to get off once a person starts using them. But they are effective for some. Done with my tangent now, let’s get back to the focus: The lyrics in “No Shame” in which the narrator sees the “you” or significant other dumping their pills and being “so sick” of them is really crucial. I think it touches on how hard trying to get better can be for the person experiencing it. 

On a much lighter note though, we can move to colors! I personally see a lot of color (or feel like when I’m listening to certain songs I should be wearing a certain color, which I’m sure sounds crazy) when I listen to Youngblood. I was intrigued though to look for the use of color and even images that evoke a certain color. I didn’t find a whole lot of it, including CALM. Which seems pretty consistent. I don’t see a lot of visual components to their lyrics. The soundscape of the albums appears to be the backbone for a lot of the colors, I feel. And the emotional impact seems to the their larger focus when they write. 

Particularly cool lines that have color or color imagery in them, in my finding were “Fragile, always ‘about to fall just like sand/Castles” from “Monster Among Men,” “We’re classic together like Egyptian gold” from “Valentine” “It was more than just a neon weekend” from “Woke Up In Japan” and “Red, red desert/ Heal our blues/ ...Twilight moments with you” from “Red Desert”. The twilight line in Red Desert gives a purple vibe, or at least I see the color purple there and I can only wonder if it’s because I was prepped beforehand with the colors red and blue. However it works, I think it was a brilliant choice to couple twlight after it, to paint a full picture. “Neon weekend” should just be tattooed across my forehead because it gives off such a vibrant and bright life that nestles in very well with the energy of Youngblood’s entire album. 

A slightly related note, I pulled a couple instance of the phrase “heart” for this section. I wasn’t sure if others associated the color red with it. I did however think that the use of “blood on my shirt” “roses” and even “sirens” left me with the impression of colors, specifically blue and a small bit of blue for the sirens. 

There were two really strong parallels when it came down to the use of “dancing” throughout the albums. In “Ghost of You” we get the lines, “Dancing through our house with the ghost of you/ ...And I’ll chase it down with a shot of truth/That my feet don’t dance like they did with you”. It’s almost direct parallel is in “Lover of Mine” with it’s lines “Dance around the living room/Lose me in the sight of you/I’ve seen the red, I’ve seen the blue/ Take all of me.” I personally wonder if one could spin this, as so that Lover of Mine could take place before Ghost of You. However, that’s the poet and author in me looking for the story and strings. 

A crazy parallel I noticed was between “Empty Wallets” and “Lonely Hear” I promise here I won’t be pulling the red strings. In Empty Wallets there’s the sentiment of hurting and forgiveness, with of course that blood pumping rush of youth with, “Living our lives/ Dancing on empty wallets/ Spend it all on you” and “I always believed in second chances/ I always believed in you”. And it sorts bumps against and shares a space with “We dance inside, you’re hurtin’” and “Can I get a second chance? Can I have another dance? Can I have another life with you” from Lonely Heart, where we see this urge with the narrator to make up for their wrongdoing and recognize the pain caused to the other person in this relationship. 

I can’t talk about Youngblood and CALM without mentioning the strong growth that’s come from the former to the latter. It would be an utter disservice to the different roles these albums play. Youngblood is so much about loss and growing up and fumbling through life in a way where the counterpart CALM is more about finally get a handle on all those questions and growing from them. 

The strongest parallel I gathered was from the insistences in Better Man and Old Me. I recognize that Better Man overall has this echo of love, and finding someone else that helped them through the growing pains. But I think it’s worth noting that in the context of Old Me there’s an acceptance to the fuck ups, there’s an acceptance shit had to go bad to finally find what was wrong. I think the strongest lyric to this point is in Old Me “Another round, here we go, going in blow for blow/ Look into the mirror, take the punches that I throw” and “Had to fuck it up before I really got to know me/ All of the mistakes I made, I made, I made, I made/ Whatever the price I paid, I paid, I paid, I paid.”

I added a chart about the phrase “letting go” of which a lot of it is about how it’s hard to let go. Which I mean, is very accurate and relatable. The most explicit example is in “When You Walk Away” with the lines “I’m bad at letting go/ Won’t you let me down easy?/I can’t let you go” this sentiment is paralleled several times in CALM as well, one example in particular is in “Not in the Same Way” with the lines “You say, ‘Go’ I won’t leave” and “Turn right around, throwin’ rocks at your window.” If walking away was easier, I don’t think we’d have the albums that we got from the band. I wanted to include this section with change and growth but it would just be too long and too much. So I broke it up, chart wise. 

Alas, I’ve returned to Babylon! First though, I want to touch on overall on the way this chart is set up. I tried to explicit lyrics of “fatal love” but I did expand my criteria. So it if it looks a little wonky and long, I do apologize. 

Now, some really cool overlaps I noticed where between “When You Walk Away” and “Not in the Same Way.” It’s the particular phrasing on how gut wrenching love can be sometimes. In “When You Walk Away,” the narrator states with the opening! which is a really crazy but strong way to open “Cut me open, take my heart/ So we’ll never be apart.”  When we look at “Not In The Same Way” we get a very similar wording “Rip my heart out and leave, on the floor, watch me bleed.” The first song, “When You Walk Away” is a bit more a plea to be saved from the heartache and “Not in the Same Way” is more of a statement, it’s more like the narrator saying this is what you’ve done to me. 

Okay, we all know how much I love Babylon. If not, check out this post. But to summarize why Babylon fits into this narrative of fatal love, it’s because of the cyclical nature of this relationship that the narrator is in. A historical reference Babylon alludes to the fact that the narrator knows this relationship wasn’t truly built to last. Babylon was built, destroyed, rebuilt, and then destroyed again. And this relationship seems to keep burning at both ends, almost falling apart and then it’s saved, only for it fall.  

To quote myself from the Babylon post, “ ‘Your short fuse, my half-truths are not amused.” like both y’all are our contributing to the problem, one is EXPLOSIVE, one is reserved and that’s a combination bound to cause friction in a relationship, romantic or other, and there’s no blame in the way it’s said. “I wish we had a clue to start new.” LIKE, clearly this shit isn’t working but neither one of us knows how to really fix it besides to watching the flame burn out and when it burns, she roars, she takes down everything with it, i.e. “We watch it all burn down.”’ Alas, we’ve gone back to that destructive nature fire. And we’re with the narrator where all that is left are the ashes. Love is fatal because it really can destroy everything that we’ve only known. 

The next few charts are just for funsies, I did some more direct comparisons. If you want further thoughts, you can hit me up. But this post is already miles long! Thanks for reading!

____

Tagging: @compulsiveidiota @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @5-secondsofcolor​ @calumscalm​

#calum hood #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #michael clifford #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos CALM #5sos youngblood #CALM #youngblood #lyrics

[the-rawr-ster]

Title: To Die In Your Arms

Chapter 1: Alone, We’re All Alone.

W/C: 1659

Warnings: Death, violence, mental health, and blood.

A/n: I am sorry if I make you cry with this. Also listen to the video to help like idk feel the mood ig.

Your mother had sent you out to retrieve the ingredients for her famous rolls. These ingredients are pretty hard to come by so she rarely makes them. But waiting a month to eat them is worth it, well for the customers. She usually sells out, so your family can never manage to get a batch for yourselves.

On your way back, you saw a young boy getting harassed. The kids had taken his bread. It was a whole month's worth of bread. You stood there watching as they scarfed it down. They didn’t leave a single crumb. How could someone do something so cruel? You wanted to say something, anything really. But you were too paralyzed. You just stood there and watched as this boy's meals were stolen from him. Coward. I’m a coward.

You hear feet hitting the ground at a fast past and loud, whiny, screaming. Suddenly, someone’s face was laying flat on the ground. You immediately rushed back to your mother.

Your mother was conversing with a middle-aged woman with brown hair. She greeted you with a warm smile and eyes kinder than any you had ever seen. You hid behind your mother, placing your chin in the crevice of her neck. You let out a tiny smile at the woman and then ducked your head behind your mother.

“I have a son just about your age,” she said, “He’s a little troubled, but all he needs are friends.”

“Oh, that’s perfect. My child is very shy and has a hard time making friends. But they’re very sweet,” your mother replied.

She spoke of you highly, as if you were an angel of sorts. She always made you feel special. She was special like that, she could make even the saddest of souls feel better. Your father on the other hand was too blunt for his own good. He always bad people’s best interest at heart but unlike your mother, he was bad with words. His words hurt, but he would never be able to understand that. Despite his cold demeanor, your mother still fell in love with him. She chipped away at that cold exterior until she could find his heart. She made it her life’s goal to prove that he had a heart, not just to other people but to him too.

“Well, I best be going. I’ll get back to you on what you said Mrs. (L/N).”

You watched as her stoic figure disappeared into the crowd of customers and merchants.

“Would you mind getting those to your father,” your mother pointed to the basket of ingredients still dangling from the crook of your elbow. You nodded and headed home as your mother closed up the stand. You had been walking around all day, so fortunately your house was just around the corner.

Before you could open the door, a loud BOOM filled the confinements of the walls. And soon smoke arose and screams could be heard for miles. You ran inside and yelled for your father, dropping the basket and not giving a rats ass about it.

“Dad, dad, I think something is happening,” you cried, fumbling up the stairs to pull your father out of bed, “Dad, get up.”

“Hm, sweetheart,” your father mumbled, “What’s going on?”

“Dad, please.”

You ran back down the stairs and carried a bucket of water dumping it on your father. He shot straight up, his eyes wide. You could hear the piercing screams and the booms from the footsteps of something monstrous. It was distant but loud.

“What was that? Where’s your mother,” he questioned.

“I don’t know, but we need to go. Mom was still at the stand when I came here to give you the ingredients for the rolls.”

“What?!”

Your father jumped out of bed and put on his shoes. He grabbed your arm and drug you out the door with him. His grip was tight leaving red marks on your arms. The streets were crowded with people running for their lives. Children were crying for their mothers and fathers. Parents frantically searching for their children. It’s was complete and utter chaos. Your heart beating irregularly. Thump! Thump! Thump! It was almost like it was right in front of you, not in your chest, in front of you. When you looked up. That’s when you saw it. An enormous, disgusting, monster, towering over your mother. It’s head was almost too large for its body, and it smelt like rotting flesh.

“M-mom,” you whispered, choked on your tears.

Your fathers eyes darted sporadically, his hands trembling, loosening their grip on your arm. Your mother stood like a statue, staring at the monstrosity of a beast. The beast lowers its arm and snatches your mother off the ground. Your father runs after her, struggling to keep his feet on the ground. No, this can’t be happening, can it? It’s just a nightmare. You’ll wake up any minute now. You’ll wake up to the smell of your mother and fathers baking. You’ll wake up to the sound of children running around in the streets. Now all you hear is the sound of ‘IT’ scarfing down your mothers limp body without any hesitation.

Your father grabs the closest sharp object to him and charges at it.

“Dad, no, please don’t,” you scream, but he doesn’t listen. All he sees is red. The sight of the only woman he ever loved being eaten, brought about a fit of blind rage.

“I love you, I’m sorry I never told you, y/n,” he gently smiled at you as tears built up. And those were the last words he ever spoke to you. The last words he spoke before his body was crushed.

While it was distracted with your father, you ran. You ran like your life depended on it because it did. You didn’t stop, you just kept going. Why? Why us? Why did this have to happen? We lived so peacefully. We did what we were supposed to. Why wasn’t it enough? And where were the garrison gaurds? Why weren’t they protecting us? That’s what you wanted to say, but you had to focus on making it to the boats. There weren’t a lot of spots, so you had to be fast.

...

The boat was crowded, but you made it just in time before it would leave. Everything was quiet. You could only hear the rushing of the water and the screaming in the distance as the boat rushed down the stream.

All of the thoughts and memories soon came rushing back to you. The sight of your mother and father. The beast. Your father’s last words. It all flooded your mind. There was no room left to think of anything else.

You curled up in a ball, your knees close to your chest, and your arms holding your head between them. You covered your ears, trying to silence the screams in your head...trying to silence the crunch of your parents body’s in it’s hands. You wanted to forget. You wanted to forget that you had nothing left. That everything, everyone you loved was gone.

You watched your tears fall onto the wooden panels beneath you. Drip. Drop. Drip. They wouldn’t stop coming. They wouldn’t obey your commands, they just fell, like they had given up.

“Hey,” a voice whispered.

“Its all in your head. Nobody is talking to you,” you told yourself.

“Hey.”

When you had fully convinced yourself that the voice wasn’t real, a soft, dainty, hand tapped on your shoulder.

“Stop it, leave me alone. Please, go away,” you sobbed, covering your ears and banging your head into your knees. Why? Why won’t it go away? I already lost everything. I don’t want to lose my mind. Your breathe became shallow and shaky.

“Armin, I think she just wants to be left alone,” another chided.

“Hey, breathe, you’re gonna make yourself pass out , and give yourself a concussion banging your head around like that.”

The person’s voice was soft and quiet, soothing, in a way. In pure curiosity you slowly lifted your aching head. You looked next you you and saw a frail, blonde boy sitting with a dark haired girl and a green-eyed boy. They all looked drained, but it’s no wonder. You all had been traumatized, and lost someone you cared about.

“Hi, my names Armin,” he said, “Are you h-,”

The girl shook here head and gestures for Armin to stop talking.

“No, I’m not here with anybody. I’m alone,” your voice trembling as you speak.

The trio looked in disbelief but also relieved. They weren’t the only ones to lose someone. You shifted your gaze to the floor. It wasn’t in my head. They were really gone. Its not a bad dream. It’s a reality. It’s my-, no OUR reality. A reality that sucked. No that’s an understatement. This was hell. A hell that I learned I could only get out of if I died.

Do I still want to save people? Can I save anyone? I don’t know. Will I run away like that again? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m alone.

“We’re all alone. Sure, we’re all in the same boat, both figuratively and literally. But we’re all alone. It’s not just me. Look at all the other kids on this boat,” you sighed, “ It’s not just me. So please don’t look at me like that.” Their eyes softened, except for the green-eyed boy. His eyes were filled with darkness. There was an intense, murderous aura about him...something different. Everyone else was scared, trying to survive. But he looked like he was ready to pounce on anything that moved. He eyes reminded you of your father’s in his last moments.

The light rain masked the tears falling down your face as you thought of him. You stared into the sky, searching for him...searching to know if there really was a paradise after leaving this hell.

Synopsis: You didn’t realize how in love you were with Jean Kirschtein until he decided to join the Survey Corp.

Taglist: n/a

Masterlist

Chapter 2

Playlist

#aot fanfiction #aot jean #aot angst #aot anime #aot #aot spoilers #aot x reader #attack on titan #jean x reader #jean kirschtien #TDIYA

[thejudgingtrash]

▽ favorite pjo headcanon that you’ll never let go of ◉ was there something in the books that you used to not understand, but you do now? ■ something that you like now, but didnt like then? ☞ something you did like, but dont anymore?

Yay! Many points to go through!

▽ favorite pjo headcanon that you’ll never let go of

Well. Baker Percy is definitely my guilty pleasure lol. He’s mostly a pastry chef in my headcanons but I could also see him in other culinary ventures. I really need to work on my headcanon posts. I have so many ideas and scenarios that I’d love to visualize with the almighty power of Photoshop/Premiere/After Effects since I’m fairly slow on the fanfic front, but I never really get into it lol (mostly because I forget ^^).

But I have this godawful old Pastry Chef Percy IG edit (don’t judge, I’m still a newbie >///<) which will get revamped at some point in time, trust me lol.

◉ was there something in the books that you used to not understand, but you do now?

I’ve answered this before but I’m going to chose another scenario. I never really grasped the brutality of events on my first read? You really have beings and people dying left and right and the way Percy narrates this almost brushes this off to the side? Of course there’s a difference in weight when it comes to a monster that gets reborn and a real person. The approach of the underworld and people chilling there was also nice. I mean death gets picked up again in the latest TOA book, but that part wasn’t really featured in PJO. 

These kids are really trained to kill. Kids.

■ something that you like now, but didnt like then?

Rachel. I really underestimated her character and did brush her off as a nuisance that tried to break up my ship on my first read lol. But now I see her as someone that saw a hidden magical world and used Percy as a tool to gain access to it. And tbh I would do the same without a doubt.

☞ something you did like, but dont anymore?

The hunters of Artemis. I thought at first, wow bad ass females that kick ass. Now it’s just basically a group of radfems and an inconsistent dumping ground for female characters which Riordan never really properly fleshed out. Yes, they were a great plot device in TTC but that was mostly Zoe being on the mission with the crew, not really the Hunters themselves.

#pjo #ask me #toa #rachel elizabeth dare #hunters of artemis #zoe nightshade