#Just..... Idk. Wanting unrealistic things etc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gayspock · 2 years

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i will say tho its weird sometimes when ppl talk abt idk... like, heartstopper, yah... & its not for me it is notttt i dont wanna watch it stop telling me its not 4 me.

BUT on tumblr - amongst this crowd -ive seen one or two ppl like "WEEEEEE dont need this" like ehh man cmon. i think a lot of younger kids do and i think its like... so counterproductive to try and push for, like, exactly "one type of show" for "THEcommunity" like. like say oh we dont need happy gay teen shows we need more for this, more of this- yadda, yadda like?

you know its not mutually exclusive, yah. like it isnt an actual factual "finite resource" - perhaps an imposed limitation that can be challenged, but even then in the most abstract of terms... like alice oseman's heartstopper isnt the reason the content u want doesnt exist, not really

. & thats not absolving criticism of, like, other actual aspects of this content vis a vis diversity- im not talking abt that, bc yah fair enough when ppl vent their frustrations abt the more genuinely sanitised aspects like how white some of these shows are, etc. but like... wrt just disliking it bc its a "happy teen show and i dont want that im an adult" like idk what the point of getting grumpy at a younger audience watching sth for them will do in the long run & it feels like a very weird misdirected vitriol for 0 reason...

bc yah its not for me either its cooool & irritating when ppl push it onto you but . just getting mad unprompted. its like idk... especially in 2022 its like. absolutely an important aspect of the whole: its time to move past the whole "there's an lgbt person in this!!" as a category of media pleaseeeee bc its kinda weird the way that categorisation starts to cannibalise itself when its like help... that isnt the enemy here i dont think<3

#Egg.txt #also this wasnt @author's post ofc it just reminded me of others ive seen like it ^_^#bc its like i gettt the frustration bc im a littl e frustrated too when ppl insist i watch certain media just bc its gay etc etc but then #some people so counter intuitively get this idea that like??? the hell??? thats the thing thats an attack on the rest of the media #like naur its not babe dont worry about it...#idk ive just seen some ppl so MAD abt it and its like-#idk i dont want to be like ''ohhh ppl flip on a dimeee''' bc that isnt what happens at all & i hate that sentiment bc it never makes sense #blah blah blah- BUT what i mean is and i say this carefully is like #ive seen a lot of ppl say so much of gay media is sanitised and full of happy endings & is unrealistic #and so many other ppl say that its all cold and depressing and bury your gays #& i think both of those things exist at the same time absolutely and paradoxically #and theyre both valid frustrations but its also like the odd . staunch opposition to the other ''type'' of show when #its honestly otherwise kinda harmless when its like i dontknow i think frankly its like..#kinda odd . kinda weird

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sayitan · 1 year

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the "jake is a bad dad" takes get worse and worse every day. i am withholding jake from all these people. they have no access rights anymore. no more jake cat daddy memes for them.

#. ooc . › sometimes i just talk shit .#idk if it's a new gen thing but #there's increasingly unrealistic and unreasonable expectations #for parents as if they have to be infallible to be good #parents aren't your friends #they are there to give you what you NEED not what you want #jake and neytiri are incredible parents #their kids know and feel the love that they have for them #establishing boundaries and expectations and standards #does not make someone a bad parent #and pushing those boundaries and resisting or surpassing those expectations #doesn't make you a bad child / son / daughter etc #i'll write a better headcanon but for now this is what you get

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isekyaaa · 16 days

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I know it's the point for reader-inserts fics to be romantic, but the way people write them so dripping in unrealistic fantastical puppy love really triggers this innately viscerally repulsed reaction in me.

#rambles #it's not just me being tired of it but it lowkey kinda....... for lack of better words it kinda triggers me #which is really sad and pathetic to say HAHA #when people have treated me that way in the past it made me nauseous and grossed out #and then makes me feel like there's something wrong with me to feel that way towards something everyone else loves #that being said i hate labels and i hate those specific labels that people would naturally apply to me #i hate how oppressed aro and ace people act and i don't want to be associated with that lmao #i really want to follow people that write actual stories with reader-inserts #and i've tried mentioning this on my writing blog....#but nobody gets what i mean when i say there's only a specific subset of reader-insert fics i can stand #idk how to explain what i want to read without ranting about how majority of the community is diseased w/ shit taste #i can't talk about things without insulting people #one day i'll get fed up and just blast people on that writing blog #abt lazy writing and unrealistic fantasies etc

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crystallilytarot · 1 month

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Choose a crocodile. How to work on your insecurities?

(I think it's more like just some advice, idk, but I hope you will enjoy it anyway)

Pile 1

If someone ever said to you that you are not good enough, it's just their opinion, it's not like the whole world said it. And especially if they are a bad person or someone who isn't even so close to you, just ignore them. Like only 1 teacher said it. But even if it was a family member, if someone really love you, they won't be mean to you. Yeah, we can learn from critics, if it's supposed to be helpful, not if it's just simply comes from jealousy. The past is the past, you should see forward, not what was before, you can do better, you can be succesful, you can be loved. Even if you weren't before. Believe in yourself more! You should stand up for yourself, but also, sometimes fighting is not worth it. You should find the balance, especially within yourself. Just focus on your goals. You have everything you need to be succesful, so you really should work on your confidense. And some things really needs time, be patient, consistent and don't give up! There's something here about either moving to another place, or traveling, and maybe you should be more often in the nature. But I think it's also a sign, that yes, you will move and travel!

Pile 2

Oh dear. I don't really read about health, but if you have anxiety or any mental health issues, please seek professional help if you can. And if you have a friend, you can trust, it would be good too. I think a lot of things here comes from mental health problems. I would say if you have any hobbies, that's a good thing, or if you are a fan of something/somebody. But make sure it's healthy, not an obsession. It can be just that you spend too much time online, and it's bad because we can see unrealistic things, and that will become unrealistic expectations. If you feel sometimes like you need to romanticize your life, escape to a fantasy world, enjoy childish things etc. It's all good, don't be ashamed to do whatever you enjoy. I think the most important here is to work on staying optimistic, keeping your faith. If something is bad, it's not the end of the world, you can try again. And you really need to love yourself more, accept yourself, your body, your personality. You are so loveable, please love yourself too, care about yourself too, not just others.

Pile 3

I think sometimes you make a decision and later you regret it. So you should think about things before. Don't be so reckless. Don't get into heated arguments. I won't say never, but sometimes we should let go of things, especially if the other person simply just won't see our point of view. Or sometimes they just don't understand you, because I think you are very smart. Also you should think about what you really want. Because we can be interested in a lot of things, but sometimes we don't have the energy to do everything or sometimes we can be bored. And it's okay to change and even stop doing stuff, if it's not enjoyable for you anymore. You can't be good at everything. But if you really want something, you can make a plan, a goal, search information, make a vision board maybe. You can do some things like this, to stay motivated. Sometimes we should take things a little lighter, nobody is perfect, it's okay to laugh even at yourself. I mean not in a mean way, but to lighten the situation sometimes. And just to have a little fun, you should laugh more often. If you work hard, that work will pay off, but you can enjoy the life too, not just when you achieve something. It's okay to be emotional too. You should take care of yourself better, do some selfcare, love yourself, and just go with the flow a little.

#tarot #free tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot community

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earlgreytea68 · 7 months

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I listened to this podcast episode today on my way to work and it was very interesting. You should listen to her, because I am no economist, but the tl;dr is that the main reason the gender pay gap exists is because women often choose jobs for their greater flexibility because they often have caregiving responsibilities (either with children or with their own parents, because that also falls disproportionately on women) and so they value the flexibility more than men do, who can select jobs based on things like pay, not flexibility. That is simplified but basically the issue, and then there are all kinds of repercussions around that, like, people who value work flexibility so that they can tend to other responsibilities tend to be perceived as not dedicated enough to their jobs, so they don't get the most important assignments, don't get the most important promotions, etc.

Anyway, I was struck by the fact that toward the end the host asks the Nobel laureate what can be done to address this ongoing inequity, and she proposes sending children to school year-round and until 6pm every day.

......

Okay, look, #1 - I COMPLETELY understand, which is the Nobel laureate's point, that finding that childcare to fill in the gap around when school is out of session but the mom is still at work is a major problem that is part of the reason why women desire more flexibility; and also #2 - I also do not intend this to be about educational theory, but----

I was really struck that the solution to the problem would be TO MAKE CHILDREN WORK JUST AS HARD AS GROWN-UPS. Like, I can't help but think that the REAL problem here is that the expectations of jobs for the level of dedication they want from employees is UNREALISTIC AND UNSUSTAINABLE and can only be supported if one-half of the workforce is abandoned to DO THE ACTUAL WORK OF BEING HUMAN, and the solution to that is not MAKE EVEN THE TINIEST OF HUMANS LEARN HOW TO WORK HARDER AND LONGER. Idk, that just really rubbed me the wrong way, the idea that we solve this problem we created by making kids work forty-hour work weeks with no vacations the way the rest of us do. Like, the problem is the forty-hour work week with no vacations, let's not compound that problem.

To be fair to the Nobel laureate, she says she's trying to find a realistic solution, and that overhauling societal expectations around caregiving responsibilities and flexible workers is probably not going to happen but she thinks expanding the school day and year is attainable. But.....no, I think we should work on overhauling societal expectations so that none of us are expected to work so much at the sacrifice of the rest of our lives. Idk, I don't think we should entertain any solution other than that, because I'm tired of giving in on that point.

END RANT OF A THING I KNOW BASICALLY NOTHING ABOUT

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faetreides · 2 months

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i'd really like to know if he'd have any types of kinks or a type?!!

like from what I've read from you, maybe it's just my impression, but does he find chubby people more attractive? (self-insert hihi)

or just kinks he'd have; like, modern!coryo screams corruption kink (maybe even a virgin!reader 👀), and things like degradation/praise, as well as a pretty big dom situation 👀

anyways, love your stuff!

I can't help coming back to your modern! coryo au literally everyday, I'm in love 🫡🫠

CW: implied-ish plus sized reader but i use “chubbier” so it’s a bit ambiguous i guess but that’s how i picture them, don’t like don’t read

First of all, thank you so much for loving the au, it's kind of getting demotivating a bit to see the fandom slow down but I'll ALWAYS have modern! coryo brain rot. So, I guess someday I'll be shouting into the void lmao.

I do think that when it comes to preferences, he does prefer chubbier people. He's one of those guys that likes being able to just really grab and slap anything and everything because you've got more than enough meat on your bones. Also, idk how to quite explain it, but I think he enjoys what he believes is a more realistic (?) body, like he'd deadass get so offended if you thought you had to shave or cover up stretch marks. He comes from a very superficial world where the beauty standards are impossible to achieve (edit: i’m NOT talking about being skinny being impossible, i’m talking about general beauty standards and having an unrealistically proportioned body like the ones in media, i’m aware that skinny people exist) . It's like how for a while, Aphrodite and other similar goddesses were depicted in media as very skinny but when you look back at how they were actually worshiped, there are statues and carvings and etc. with belly rolls and all kinds of versions of bigger bodies. That's what reader's body reminds him of, gets him feel closer to God and all that.

I'll get to some actual kinks in a second, but I do think he likes more of a reluctant person. He's someone that is built for the chase and that really revels in the wooing process, he'd never been in love before you, so the rush of intense feelings kicks his adrenaline into overdrive. It's a sort of predator/prey thing without being a full-blown kink, Coryo stalks and he circles around you until you're given such a small window of escape that you already missed your chance by the time he decides that he's done waiting around. You have the whole cutesy 'will they? won't they?' thing going for a bit until you just don't anymore.

In my head, modern!coryo's reader is a virgin for that exact purpose lol like he does have a fuck boy past that's typical for his place in society, so I just love the idea of sex suddenly becoming so "special" to him now that he's possessed with the need to mold your experience around him so you could never be satisfied by anyone else. I think he'd want to keep some of that shyness and insecurity no matter how much experience he gives you, so he can reassure you and praise you and tell you to suck on his fingers so the stretch of his cock won't be all you can think about.

He does favor praise over degradation but when he does degrade it's more... positive (???) in his eyes, calling you dumb because he wants you know you don't have to be smart, saying you're his slutty whore because he wants you to feel comfortable enough being as nasty as possible with him, etc. No matter what name he calls you, he's adding 'my' in front of it. The words will be the same, but his tone will change based on if you're driving him crazy (basically if he gets jealous for no reason again)

I also think that's he way more of a Dom type, he'll never go into extreme type stuff and he's more of a gentle Dom depending on the situation that led up to you fucking or making love. My modern!coryo is never going to let you have more control than letting you ride him (and you always end up getting tired, so he has to take over, which he is more than happy to do!). His control issues are severe like they are in canon, he's exhausted trying to hold himself back from just losing it on everybody. So, having a stress toy of an s/o that he can micromanage and love without limits does wonders for his mental health.

He's obviously obsessed with spanking/LIGHT impact play. The only bruises you'll get will be from him squeezing you too hard or littering your body with hickies, he'd bite you to pieces too but he likes to think that he has some sense of decorum.

He could get behind silk bondage, whether it's patterns on your body or spreading you out on the bed with your ankles and wrists tied to the bed frame. But he wouldn't do it because he wants to keep you from touching, he just wants to love you properly without you hurting yourself because you got shy and squirmed all over the place.

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olderthannetfic · 14 days

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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/748370073567313920/i-think-for-me-one-of-the-big-stumbling-blocks-i

I agree with the points in replies that it’s the pushy loli guys’ behavior that marks them as creepy and you’ll never know the people who are quiet about it, because they are not creepy and show that by respecting people’s boundaries.

But idk… people in the reblogs are insisting that there’s never any relationship between the fiction you like and your IRL fetishes and, cmon. Can we all agree that that’s oversimplified in the opposite direction? Some people do choose particular media because it gets them off. And there’s def anime that wouldn’t appeal to you unless you’re specifically into the idea of fucking lolis being a-ok. It’s different from media that has other features and that’s one element of it, or it’s specifically about that it’s an unrealistic fantasy,

I think the conversation isn’t helped when we act like admitting that means you support censorship or think things should be banned, or support anti style harassment. I mean there’s a difference between the kind of thing anon is talking about with privately judging people, looking out for red flags, deciding privately that you don’t want to hang out with people who are into certain things, vs. harassment campaigns and callouts and trying to get people fired like antis do.

Fiction rarely has an exact 1:1 relationship with what you are into IRL… but it’s also not completely UNrelated all the time, either. Especially when talking about porn. And by telling people it’s ever wrong to even privately judge people for those preferences you ARE in fact discouraging people noticing red flags and also just forcing them to deny their lived experiences.

….is what I think anon was trying to say anyway.

I don’t think erasing all nuance really helps anything but deliver people who’ve had experiences like anon’s into the hands of antis. Like there needs to be a safe space for people especially women and LGBTQ+ people who’ve dealt with abusers and creeps who used media as a part of their abuse, to talk about their experiences without being shouted down for not having the “right” rhetoric.

I think part of why antis are a problem is a lot of people aren’t finding much other room to talk about that. Anti spaces are the only ones that seem to acknowledge that. Like I think anime fandom especially younger spaces really have an anti problem because anime fandom more broadly has such a big creepy dude problem and, even if not every single person who likes loli/shota/etc. is a creep, it’s hard not to notice that the friendlier an anime fan space is to discussing that stuff or discussing rapey slavery isekai or whatever, the more it draws in higher numbers of creeps. You can be a non creep and like that stuff, but it does have an overall higher percentage of creeps who like it than, say, your average shounen action show and let’s not pretend we don’t understand why.

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peach-pot · 9 months

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something I’m so fascinated by is when tv show/movie writers want to include jokes at a groups expensive, but don’t make a decision on whether they want just the audience to be laughing at them or the other characters as well, and end up in this weird space where they are both… canonically unserious and serious. here it’s better to just give examples:

(gonna talk about fatphobia and homophobia typical of 2000s comedies for a sec)

in pitch perfect they have jokes about fat amy where what she says/believes is meant to conflict with what’s true in universe. she sings for the first time for chloe and aubrey and the joke is meant to be that what she’s doing is embarrassing, even though she’s trying to show off. a lot of her jokes with bumper boil down to her thinking she’s attractive, when he thinks she’s not. so these jokes are meant to be funny to us, because she thinks she’s talented/attractive/etc., when everyone around her sees she’s not. but they also include jokes where the audience is supposed to laugh because she IS actually these things, and it’s meant to be unexpected/unrealistic to reality. the big example that comes to mind is when she gets a phone call over a school break and we see that she’s actually hanging out at a pool with a few attractive guys around her, calling back to a joke where she referred to multiple boyfriends of hers. the first time it was meant to be funny because the audience would assume she was lying, the second time it’s meant to be funny because it goes against the audience’s expectations… but now all those jokes that rely on fat amy being unattractive within the pitch perfect universe don’t work. because they just told us that she is.

and then in community, there’s troy and abed, who have jokes where everyone around them thinks they’re gay, but they turn out not to be. a clear example of this is when troy’s textbook has a romantic drawing of abed in it that shirley thinks he drew, but it turns out to be a used textbook that came that way. but there are also jokes where the audience is meant to laugh about troy and abed doing something gay together. for example, there’s a joke where annie says she thought troy was trying to hold her hand, but he had actually just confused her for abed. these jokes, unlike the ones where the characters are in on it to a greater extent, don’t offer any explanation for why troy and abed are doing something gay, and end up just… making them gay. so troy and abed both aren’t actually gay (and the joke is that their peers keep assuming they are) and ARE actually gay (which is meant to be inherently funny to the audience because it’s 2009)

idk, i just think it’s interesting to see the ways in which creators kind of forget to keep things consistent when they have the opportunity to make jokes about a marginalized group. like it doesn’t matter if they make a firm call on whether or not amy is actually attractive or if they always remember to give an in universe explanation for why troy and abed are doing something seen as gay if they aren’t gay. no one will notice if it changes joke to joke as long as the jokes are funny.

#this got long and ramble but it’s been on my mind #d’you know what I mean? d’y’all get what I’m saying?#it’s like. not even seen as a contradiction by the people making it (I don’t think)#because even when characters are canonically fat and attractive or canonically gay #it is/was something seen as funny enough that it didn’t matter #too unserious to REALLY be canon even if that’s what the text is plainly stating #hannah talks sometimes #like I wasn’t on the community set but I don’t think they were queerbaiting #I may be wrong but I get the vibe they just thought is was funny #and weren’t trying to purposefully get viewers to ship them just to never confirm it #they were never going to confirm it because then it wouldn’t be funny anymore #they were just going to put as many gay details into canon as they wanted #and rely on the fact that audiences would read them as jokes because gay=funny #because the 2009-2015 of it all #community

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kitkat-the-muffin · 1 year

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For a while I rationalized the existence of the Homestuck Epilogues just cause I like Davekat and I just wanted to accept them being canon even if it also meant accepting tons and tons of character assassination and a terrible storyline

But honestly it’s time I take off the shipping goggles and acknowledge that all of the Epilogues is a mess, including my favorite ship content. They, like everyone else, are out of character and are making decisions that they’d never do

Roxy, who once threw a whole funeral for a cat, would never show disrespect at the death of one of her best friends

Jade would never prioritize invading other peoples relationships when she could be enjoying the company of her family and friends

John would never sit back and accept his fate, whether it be straight up dying or living a life of mundanity, if it meant he’d be miserable with it

Jake would never let people use him for their own gain (again), Dirk would never manipulate people (not after his character arc geez guys), Rose would never give up the chance to fix a problem herself, Kanaya would never leave her wife to suffer alone, Jane would never become the next Condesce, etc, etc.

And despite my rationalization of the Davekat scene through my shipping goggles, I have to admit that Dave would never jump headfirst into both a crush and relationship, especially when you account for his trauma. At the very least, he wouldn’t confess to having a crush without blabbering on about his anxieties first, likely coming out in the middle of a rant on accident (don’t deny it, you know he would) in the same way he accidentally calls Jane “John’s hot grandma.” He’d probably say something like “I’m going through a bisexual crisis, a bi-sis if you will- oh yeah I’m bi by the way, hahah bi-by like bye-bye which is what I should be doing before I embarrass myself further ok bye”

I can see him saying all that ^ more than I can see him downing a ton of alcohol and kissing his crush as if he was in some sort of romcom. Homestuck’s always been really good at deviating from tropes and making the characters feel more like real people, and real people don’t succumb to romcom scenarios. Karkat would smack the romcom out of Dave long before ever succumbing to his own romantic fantasies (It’s like, say you always wanted to be a fairy princess but once you actually turn into one you’re like “uhhh what this is so unrealistic and kind of uncomfortable...” Idk bad example). The point is that no one actually wants to be in a romcom, they just want some of those romantic events like singing songs and having deep emotional conversations, but not suddenly kissing each other after screaming at the fourth wall that’s for sure

Karkat is knowledgable enough in romcoms to know when he’s in one, and you know as hell he won’t give into a cheap narrative like that. Karkat’s never been one to let fate strangle him into submission, he wouldn’t have survived to 6 sweeps on Alternia if he had. Also, he has no interest in politics, not after the whole Gamzee thing anyway, and while I do think Karkat cares a lot for Dave and would want to make him happy, he surely wouldn’t do so by running for President. Karkat’s the kind of person who shows affection with little actions, like drawing with chalk or listening to music. You know, quality time

And I think it’s time that I woke up from my own romcom fantasy and realized that while I want these characters to have a happy ending, this just isn’t them in the first place

I’d like to hear some thoughts from non-davekat shippers on the subject. Nothing anti-davekat I mean, more like some opinions from people who are davekat-indifferent. How did this character development affect readers without red-tinted shipping goggles?

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas

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ceilidho · 6 months

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What do you think about Asylum AUs? I've been thinking about writing my own with 141 + maybe KorTac? Idk... But I'm too worried about making it yk, unrealistic or romanticizing anything so I just wanted your opinion (feel free to ignore if you'd rather not answer tho <33)

ill be honest, im partial to reading them if they're done w my favourite flavour (not going into detail / not important). i think you're perfectly within your rights to write something and then in the author's note or in tags write something to the effect of "this is not a realistic portrayal of going to a psychiatric hospital" etc etc.

to be honest, i feel like as long as you aren't insisting that your story mirrors real life, mooooosttt people get that they're reading fiction (with exceptions, of course, but for the most part, i think the majority of readers are aware of that). you're always going to have some people in your comments that have a bad faith interpretation of your story, or just miss your author's note or tag, which sucks but it's inevitable. you can always moderate comments, turn off anonymous comments, or put your fic as "anonymous" if you feel like that would help.

you wouldn't believe the kinds of comments i've gotten on fics before for writing noncon. you kind of have to accept when you write certain things, someone's going to get pissed off. for every person that gets annoyed and leaves an angry comment, there are going to be like 100+ people that enjoy reading your fic, so. personally i write for them.

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im-a-goddamn-cat · 10 months

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is there something wrong with me?

i think i've recently realized that my lack of interest in sex/romance is more like both a fear of it and me being very picky/specific. i mean, i'm fine being single (i think?), but sometimes i do wonder what this stuff is like. i've never kissed anyone or been on a date or had sex or had a romantic relationship or anything. i kinda would like to try this stuff sometime but like... i'm really scared of it and reserved with it? like, i have some unpopular(?) feelings + i get anxious thinking about this stuff, especially sex. bc it's like. first of all, i don't experience attraction often so that would make finding a partner hard enough as is. then there's the fact that i suck at social skills and am ugly. but even if i did somehow find someone to date who also wanted to date me, then there's the issue of... my issues(?) with intimacy. like. like i said, i've never kissed anyone or had sex and... idk if i could just jump right into these things. maybe for kissing but sex??? no... i feel like i'll be called a prude or a puritan for admitting this, but for me, sex isn't something i'd wanna do with just anyone. like, i feel like i'd have to love/be really close to the person and trust them and feel safe and comfortable with them to have sex, especially for the first time i do it... not to sound like a cliche but i'd want my first time to be with someone special, yk? but idk if this is just a stupid fantasy that i've built up in my head that will never happen, not just bc i'm undesirable but also bc i feel like no one would be willing to wait for my walls to break down... like, they'll see i'm not "giving out" so soon and will leave me. but then like i said, another issue is my anxiety/social anxiety and the fact that i'm really scared of pursuing this stuff. idk why it scares me but it does. idk if i'm just not ready or what. idk if i ever will be ready tbh.

i hate myself so much, i'm 23 years old and have never dated/had sex/etc. and i'm still not ready (idk if i ever will be) and/or i'm just scared of sex/romance + i probably have very unrealistic high expecations. i should probably just find someone, anyone who would have me and let them date/fuck me for a little just to get the first experiences over with so that i'm not wasting my time dreaming about something that'll never happen...

i think i'm broken. am i? is there something wrong with me? that's not a rhetorical question, that's genuine. i feel like there is bc everyone around my age seems to already have experiences with this stuff and aren't picky or scared about it all like i am, ntm i constantly see ppl making fun of ppl like me

#meowing #negative #not sfw #demisexual #demiromantic #<- dont use those labels but i guess ill tag it bc this probably fits

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michaelsfavgirl · 25 days

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boo, you’ve inspired me a lot and I fr want to start writing Michael imagines but I’m scared that I’m not gonna have motivation, no one’s gonna read them, and that I’m just gonna flop completely 😭😭

can you pretty please give me some advice if you can bc babes idk 😭🙏

Omg that’s wonderful!! Don’t be scared, the mj fanfic side of the fandom was literally non existent on here when I first posted my fics and now look there’s more of us <3 We need more mj writers!!

Listen you really have to get the thoughts of “no one’s gonna read them, they’re gonna flop blah blah” out your head, and I know it’s hard but trust me the best way to KILL your motivation is by relying on external validation. Of course I’m not gonna sit here and say that people reblogging and commenting on fics won’t give you more motivation to write but that can’t be the only reason/source. So try to remind yourself that you’re doing this for yourself, for fun, as a hobby etc.

Now when it comes to writing advice, first find out what style of writings you’re most comfortable with and length. Do you think you’ll prefer to write a few thousand words or shorter fanfictions? Do you want to write one-shots, headcanons or drabbles? Try to experiment more or less with all to see what you’re best at.

Then, if a blank page intimidates you (I relate) try to just word vomit all your ideas/things you want to mention in your fic, like a little summary. To make this even less intimidating use the text to speech button and just start yapping. Then you’ll be able to use that as some sort of guideline.

While writing try to include both mikes and readers/ocs perspective, even if you’re writing from the first point of view. (Btw I’d recommend using the second or third pov, but you can do whatever feels more natural) this will make the readers feel more connected to the story and want to continue reading. Also don’t waste time by being too descriptive about things that don’t add much to the story, there’s no need to describe the outfits, or morning routines before your characters meet up yk, unless it’s necessary/integral to the plot.

When it comes to writing dialogue (if you’re gonna go for Mike) try to recall his interviews and the way he speaks, use similar language and even phrases/words to make the conversation feel more natural. Trust me most people hate when the dialogues seem unrealistic and fake, it shouldn’t feel like reading about your own oc who just has mikes appearance and name, if that makes sense.

#I’m not the best at writing #so these are just things that have helped me #if you got more questions feel free to ask away #annie’s calling #advice #writing advice #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic #headcanon #drabble

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 1 year

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Hi Raven! Lemme start out saying that I love your posts, they are really thought out and informative, especially with matters going on in the community. You don’t have to answer this if you're busy,but I have a question. I wanna start a Twist blog, well kinda. I wanna start posting some of my works, and kinda make a blog on my Twist OC, but I don't know where to start. If you have any tips or tricks, that would be helpful l, but if you don't have a direct answer to this, that's fine too anything will help. And another question is, how do you get over to fear of people not liking your works or even OC? I've seen quite a bit of hate in this Fandom, and idk if my sensitive heart can take it. 😅 It's kinda the reason why I've never posted at all. Thanks again.

Hello there ^^ I’m happy that you enjoy my blog and that you find my posts informative!

For general advice on starting and maintaining a writing blog, please see this post. I’m going to use the rest of this response to speak at length about the second question posed by the asker: “how do you get over the fear of people not liking your works or even OC?”

First, let’s get something out of the way: humans are inherently social creatures; therefore, it is in our nature to desire positive attention/approval and to be afraid of rejection and ostracism. There is no shame in wanting validation. It’s a built-in survival mechanism leftover from the past—because when humans band together, they are more likely to thrive. However, I also think that in the modern world, it’s easy to get carried away and care too much about what others will think of you. This is so true in the age of social media, where likes, shares, and even follows and views are quantifiable and thus can be used as a point of comparison to others on the same platform. It’s also easier than ever to connect with others, which can be both a boon (meeting people you otherwise could have never met) and a detriment (internet hate).

Now, as simple as it would be for me to say, “create for yourself rather than seek the approval of others”, that advice doesn’t actually do much for anyone. It's easy to talk the talk, but it's much harder to walk the walk. It’s all about mindset, because in actuality, a very small number of people out of the overall fandom will care about your works enough to actively hate on an individual. The mind seemingly magnifies the number because humans are hardwired to pay more attention to the negative experiences over the positive ones (which, again, is another survival instinct; you pay attention to the bad things to avoid them or to resolve the issues). There goes the saying, “we’re our own worst critics”, and it’s very true here. It’s not just negativity from others you must deal with, but self/doubt snd your own mind perpetuating the belief that the negativity is much worse than it actually is. Of course, there are actual serious cases of hate (harassment, stalking, threats, doxxing, racism, etc), but here I am only referring to general cases of other people “not liking what you make” or saying mean things (such as “you’re a bad writer”).

So how does one improve their mindset? Truth be told, it doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, learning to not care what others think of you is a difficult and lengthy process. It will take time and effort to reach a comfortable state of acceptance (and yes, I’m talking years long here)—but it is possible to grow out of that fixation.

Here are some truths you have to accept if you want to overcome your worries:

In putting your work “out there” in a public space, you will naturally invite feedback, both good and bad. An integral part of creating is, of course, wanting to share one’s creations with others. However, it’s unrealistic to think that you won’t ever get negative feedback or critique. It isn’t always constructive or helpful to you, but you must brace for them to come your way all the same. If you think about it, getting nothing but praise isn’t good either because then it traps you in a cycle of thinking you’re perfect and there’s nothing you need to improve on. It becomes an echo chamber and it can lead to stagnation because you’re already satisfied with your current state instead of thinking about how you can grow. Mixed feedback is important for personal growth.

There may not necessarily be a problem with your content, it could be a matter of differences in circumstances or tastes. You must remember that lack of engagement is not always equivalent to hate. Indifference or not even coming into contact with a post is NOT the same as actively going to post a negative comment or ask. That being said, lack of engagement could be the result of a website’s algorithm working against your favor. Alternatively, it could be that you aren’t hitting a target audience. Like, if you write angst, it may not appeal to a certain subsection of fans. These are factors largely outside of your control, and trying to gain that control would be a fruitless effort.

There’s nothing wrong with blocking, especially if things escalate. I know that on sites like Twitter and Tiktok, blocking people is seen as “taboo” or some kind of hateful social statement when… it’s not. Blocking is a means of curating your space so you can have fun online without worrying about others raining on your parade. If people are giving you a hard time, nothing is stopping you from blocking them (which can be done even with anonymous asks). Don’t give people that send “hate” attention by responding and showing just how upset their comments made you, it only encourages them to continue once they’ve seen how much it affects you.

One instance of “hate” is not representative of the entire fandom’s feelings. This circles back to what I said before; the negative and toxic people in this fandom is actually minuscule when compared to the total number of fans in this space. Instead of letting the few rotten apples define the entire bushel, think about all the positive experiences you’ve had!

You can’t please everyone. As much as you try to, it won’t happen. But you know what is much more feasible of a goal? Pleasing yourself. You know what you like best, and if you’re able to make what makes you happy then you have a 100% chance of satisfying at least one person.

If you feel frustrated, it’s fine!! It’s normal to feel this way when you think a work you shared isn’t getting the kind of exposure you want it to (whether it’s little exposure or negative exposure). We want to feel like our energy and time was put into something worthwhile. Just don’t take it too hard because these things are bound to happen. Not everything you make will be a hit, and your audience may not always be receptive to what you put out.

If you create mainly or solely for the approval of others, you won’t be happy with yourself. Ask yourself why you want to create in the first place. Most likely it’s because you’re passionate about TWST and/or you just wanted to have fun. But when this shifts to a focus on pleasing others, is it really fun anymore? If you’re always chasing trends (which are very transient) or thinking about how you should change your work to have greater mass appeal, is it really “you”, or are you just being what you think people want you to be? It just results in never being satisfied, because you’re aiming for the impossibility of making everyone happy. When you weigh your worth based on others’ perception of you or on engagement, you run the risk of burnout and losing joy in creating.

You’ll have to embrace cringe. When I say “cringe”, I mean it in the sense that you should be comfortable being your authentic self even if you fear people won’t like it. Again, you cannot please everyone—but surely there will be people who will accept you and like you for who you are. Some will vibe with you, some won’t, and that’s a fact.

You won’t be perfect at keeping out negativity from others, and that’s okay. What matters is how you address those instances when they arise. It’s not productive to let negative thoughts stew or hold you back from creating what you want. Instead of letting the thoughts fester, try to redirect your energy to something else.

Additionally, here are some suggestions on what you can do to alleviate your doubts. These methods work for me, but I’m not going to claim they work for everyone; I figured I’d just throw the ideas out there in case they’d be helpful to others.

Isolate yourself from social media for a period of time until you're in a better headspace.

An alternative to social media isolation is looking at other people's creations (but ignoring the numbers, as that can be a basis for comparison)! It may inspire you to make something of your own. For example, sometimes I've been scrolling and I'd see someone's OC in their own outfit for an event like Fairy Gala, and that made me excited to do the same for my own characters.

Another alternative to social media isolation is looking at the positives! Think about the number of people who have supported you or left nice comments and how they outweigh the Negative Nancies. (This is an example of using the numbers to your advantage!) I know of some friends who use a special tag on their blogs to denote "feel good" asks so they can reference these to cheer up when they're feeling discouraged or down.

Rather than comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to... yourself! Treat it like a New Year's resolution: you're looking back at where you started and think considering how you've changed since then.

Do something else you love to get your attention away from your creative endeavors. This could be another hobby or spending time with friends or family.

Speaking of friends and family, talk to them! Let them know how you're feeling and why you're feeling this way. They can offer you support and advice. I find that this is especially helpful when you are able to speak with other content creators, who may be able to empathize with your experiences.

Practice mindfulness and gratitude. Instead of thinking about what you don't have, think about what you do have and be appreciative of it. This helps shift the center away from things out of your control (ie other people) and to something that is within your control (ie yourself).

Minimize taking things personally. This can be especially hard in cases of OCs because creators tend to put a lot of themselves into their OCs (particularly if they are self inserts or Yuusonas)—so when others say they don't like an OC, it can feel like an indirect way of saying "I don't like you, the creator". But rarely is this the intended meaning of a comment. When people say they don't like something, it doesn't always mean they also dislike the creator. Remember that at the end of the day, we're all internet strangers that don't know each other on a deeply personal level (so why should you hinge your self-worth on such a thing?). You can be close with your works and OCs, but don't necessarily think of the works/OCs as a 1:1 extension of yourself. When you think of it like that, it helps to detach yourself from negativity that a work may receive.

Think about what you’re good at and focus on that niche. In this way, you will be able to make what you want while also attracting an audience that also appreciates this niche over time.

Make something for yourself, no posting necessary! Sometimes it can help you air out your feelings if you make a piece (art, writing, etc.) for no one but yourself to see. It’s surprisingly very therapeutic.

With all of that being said, I’d like to close off this post by saying that conquering the fear of others negatively judging your works is something that all creators have to go through. We're at various stages in this process, and we will continue to have our moments of weakness. This is a completely normal thing (though it is perhaps not commonly discussed out in the open) and it should be normalized. Even I go through periods of self-doubt and find myself holding off on posting certain pieces (especially anything that is OC-related) because I overthink how they may be perceived. I know that most of my audience is here for the canon TWST characters, so I worry that posting OC content is self-indulgent, maybe even selfish if I'm feeling particularly mean toward myself on a given day. It's negative self-talk like this that can be detrimental to creators and their enjoyment of their craft; that's why it's important to identify these moments and try to figure out ways to overcome them, even if it's just taking little baby steps. Some progress is better than no progress!

Anyway, I hope that you found this post useful ^^ If you think it may be also be of use to a creator you know, please consider sharing it with them.

#twst #twst oc #twisted wonderland #twst en #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland en #notes from the writing raven #question #advice #disney twisted wonderland #putting this in the main tags in case this advice is found to be useful to other TWST content creators #honestly though this advice applies to creators in ANY fandom #tw // harassment #tw // stalking #tw // doxxing #tw // threats #tw // racism

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