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mintkookiess · 9 months

Text

...Miles?

The cutest thing I've ever written so far hands down. I really took my time with this so it's quite long but I hope you enjoy it!

Love,

Mint

Summary: Spiderman finds himself in his crush's apartment window while wounded, asking her for help.

Tags: Miles Morales x fem!reader, fluff, two of the most awkward people in the entire existing world.

Word count: 3.4k

"This is a bit... awkward," Spiderman mutters as he lands on the fire escape stairs just outside Y/n's apartment window. The loud thud caught her attention and she sees the suited man, clutching his side and breathing quite heavily from the way his shoulders moved up and down evidently.

He's clearly bleeding, it didn't matter that his suit was black as she could see the blood glistening gently. "Uh hey there... Do you perhaps know how to treat wounds?" Miles chuckled nervously behind his mask, wincing at how that made his ribs sting a little.

He wasn't exactly sure why he winded up in his crush's window, but he was too focused on the pain to even care at the moment. It wasn't even part of his plan.

Y/n slowly walked to the window where Miles had slowly took a seat on the stairs. She immediately realized it was Spiderman, her eyes widening in recognition.

She was quick to get out of her window, crouching down to his level as she tried to survey how bad the wound was. "Tsk tsk... Think you can stand up? I can clean you better inside my bedroom." She said.

Miles winces once more but nods his head, taking a deep breath as he slowly pushes himself to stand on his feet using his free hand. He groans and grimaces with every move and his legs were trembling from shock. "Th-Thanks..." He said, leaning into her for support.

Y/n grabbed his arm, wrapping it around her shoulder as they shifted towards her window. She placed a hand on his back, carefully supporting him as he entered her bedroom. "Careful," She mumbled, trying her best to keep him steady.

Miles smiled, and he couldn't help but blush at the way his arm was wrapped her. But now wasn't the time. "Thank you," He whispered, cautiously going inside while trying not to irritate his wound so much.

Once they successfully got him inside her bedroom, Miles landed on the floor against the wall and Y/n followed behind him. She walked towards her bathroom to grab her first aid kit and a towel before coming back to him. She knelt down, gently placing her hand over his which was covering his wound.

Her eyes looked up at his masked face with a small smile. "Let me see," She said to him gently, silently asking permission if he could remove his hand. At Y/n's request, Miles' hand slips away and he lets out a soft groan in pain.

Y/n notices several bleeding stab wounds, some of them looking like they came from sharp teeth, but she didn't want to pry. Underneath his mask, Miles grimaces at the sight. Even though he's been Spiderman for a while now, he still hasn't gotten used to seeing himself wounded up like this.

"Can I ask you something...?" Miles began, looking down at Y/n's hands. She looked at him abruptly, before glancing back towards the wound. "Yeah sure," She replied as she began to gently press the towel on his wounds to clean the blood, noticing how his suit had been slightly ripped from where he was stabbed. The towel began to be painted red from his blood as she continued to wipe around it.

"...You know who I am... right?" Miles asked, staring at the towel as Y/n held it over his fresh wounds. They stung like hell, and he tried not to wince too much, but it was hard to ignore.

"You mean Spiderman? Yeah, who doesn't?" She chuckled. She was sure to be careful with the towel so as to not put him under as much pain as possible, but she couldn't help but wince at the bloody sight. She slightly felt bad that Spiderman had to go through all these while trying to save Brooklyn, so it slightly made her happy that she's able to help a little by cleaning up his wounds.

Miles chuckled nervously, "Uh yeah.." He glanced over at her through the white lenses of his mask as if he was waiting for her to put everything together. He didn't even know why he was trying to make her know his true identity. He knew it would be dangerous if she knew, but he couldn't help it at this point. "You know... who I really am."

Y/n abruptly stopped her movements, pulling back slightly as she looked up at him. She tried to analyze everything, from the fact that Spiderman chose to come to her apartment for help, albeit through the fire escape outside her window as well as how his voice sounded quite familiar.

Her hand reached out to his mask, but she pulled back hesitantly. She wasn't sure if she should remove his mask, knowing that Spiderman worked anonymously. But he was depicting that she knew who he was behind the Spiderman identity. "Do I... know you?" She asked slowly.

Miles gave a small chuckle as the exhaustion slowly kicks in his body, causing him to suddenly lean his head against her shoulder. "I've seen you before you know," He whispered gently, before closing his eyes. His chest rose up and down with each breath he took, feeling as if he could just fall asleep in that position against her shoulder.

Y/n was slightly taken aback by his sudden actions, but she didn't pull away. She sat there with her arms hanging on her sides. Though she wanted to pat his shoulder or something, she was scared she might hit his wounds.

"You've seen me? Where? At school?" She asked, still trying to pinpoint where she could've possibly heard his voice before. Y/n racked her brain for the answer while inhaling the scent of him; a mixture of blood and fabric softener.

Miles hummed and nodded his head against her shoulder, breathing slowly as he just took a moment to enjoy their proximity. He knew he shouldn't take advantage of the fact that he was Spiderman and she didn't know him, but he was feeling a bit selfish right now. "Yeah..." He said after a while, hoping he could stay against her forever. His voice was soft, and he sounds almost tired.

Y/n softly pulled back much to his dismay, her eyes staring into his mask as if she'd find the answer woven in it. She sighed, dropping the towel on the floor before sitting properly in front of him. She reached up her hands one more time, but with great caution like she was waiting if he'd stop her.

Her fingers reached the hem of his mask, tugging it upwards to reveal a small part of his neck. Y/n surveyed his rich dark skin, still trying to wrap her head around who it might be. If he says he's seen her in school... "Are you one of my classmates?" She asked, not quite pulling his mask further.

Y/n's touch caused Miles to lean a bit farther back, the spider-sense in his body buzzing slightly. Although it wasn't noticeable with his mask, Miles' eyes widen a bit from her actions but he didn't want her to stop. His lips began to form a small smirk, looking amused behind his mask. "Yeah... I'm your classmate." He said with a slightly deeper voice as his poor attempt to keep his cool.

If he wasn't too tired and in too much pain, he'd just rip the mask off right then and there, but right now he'll just wait till Y/n figures it out herself. He was kind of enjoying it anyway.

Y/n slowly pulled his mask even higher until it reveals his plump lips to her. She felt a strange tingle in her body like his name was on the tip of her tongue. Her eyebrows knitted together, still trying to solve the puzzle of who Spiderman really was. "Do you sit near me?" She asked even further.

Her touch caused Miles' jaw to clench, his lips parting slightly. His eyes closed briefly as he swallowed, the sensation making his body heat up and his heart was beating faster by the second. "Yeah I do," He said softly.

Y/n hesitated once more but began to pull the mask even farther, slowly showing her his nose, his tiny faint freckles, and finally... His eyes. A pair of brown eyes looking at hers with a tinge of nervousness in them. "... Miles?" She mumbled, finally able to remember his name.

She would recognize that face anywhere, immediately realizing that it was that one classmate of hers who was pretty goofy in class. Would always throw in a joke or two at every lecture, or sometimes be found snoring away. It was Miles, a classmate of hers that sat just a row behind her.

Miles' cheeks heated up. He nodded, his eyes taking her gaze and meeting it, watching her eyes glisten as she finally discerns who he was. He's so close to her, and it's actually taking every bit of willpower he had left to not lean in and press his lips against her. But he knew he shouldn't be doing anything irrational.

Y/n gulped, reaching up to remove the rest of his mask until it was completely off, his hair slightly bouncing as she peeled it from his head. The two were wrapped in silence as their eyes just stared at each other with curiosity and safety all at the same time.

Never in her life did she expect Spiderman to be so... young, much less to be her classmate. "Yeah, it is you." She laughed softly, her gaze never leaving his. Miles' breathing and heartbeat quickens almost at the same time, feeling as if he was in a trance by her beauty and the sound of her laugh.

"Well, I wasn't expecting this," Y/n let out another laugh, pulling back to sit down in front of him once more. She faced down to grab the towel, coming back to clean his wounds again. She tried to take steady breaths, an attempt to calm down her rapidly beating heart as her cheeks become flushed.

"Yeah... me neither, hahaha..." Miles said, his laugh sounding a bit forced in hopes of saving face. In reality, he was more than happy to be sitting with Y/n, and he just didn't want to ruin the moment or anything. Above all that, he was glad that someone finally knew who he was aside from his friend Ganke. And this was his crush!

Y/n tried to distract herself by going to grab the first aid kit. She snapped the box open, quicking picking up the bandages and antiseptic. She heaved a sigh, looking back up at Miles with a small smile. "I'll just disinfect your wounds and wrap 'em up. Think you can sit still for me?" She asked.

Miles chuckled softly, a grin tugging at his lips as he nods his head to her. "Yes ma'am..." He replied, trying to make the situation sound less awkward, but it really just ends up with his poor attempt to sound cool.

He watched Y/n disinfect his wounds, looking away when the antiseptic made contact with his skin. She continued to work on his wounds and was about to start on the bandage when it dawned on her. "Uh..." She started, not exactly sure of how to say it as she looked up at Miles.

She gave him a sheepish smile, clutching the bandage roll on her chest. "I kinda, need you to remove your suit from your torso so I can uh... wrap it up." She mumbled, her cheeks flaring up at the idea of seeing Miles shirtless. She wasn't used to this, but knew that it was necessary if she wanted to treat him.

Miles was taken aback by her request, his heart jumps and the feeling of his wound was almost forgotten. A blush immediately sets in and his face flares with heat, his eyes darting towards her lips and back at his torso. His breath quickens and his words come out a bit jumbled. "Uh... sure... yeah... you can uh..." He faintly gestured towards his chest.

As the atmosphere around them turns awkward, shy and nervous all at the same time, Y/n gulped hard, trying to swallow down her nerves. She just tried to keep in mind that she wasn't trying to do anything inappropriate and just wanted to help him out. "Um... Do I remove a zipper or something? I don't... know how your suit works." She said, trying to find the words without making the situation worse.

The dark-haired boy swallowed, looking away and feeling almost embarrassed at the position they were in. He cleared his throat, cheeks remaining a faint shade of red. "Uh... um... there's a... zipper on the back." He murmured, pointing to his back.

The tension in the air makes Miles a bit uncomfortable and he wondered if she felt the same way. "Then can you uh... lean forward a bit?" Y/n replied, trying to ignore her heart racing as she raised herself up to her knees, shifting to move to his back where there was indeed a zipper.

Her fingers fumbled with the bandage roll, praying to whoever god or divine being that was listening in on them to help her out.

Miles nodded and leaned forward, making himself more accessible for her. He tried to ignore his hammering heart, his eyes staying glued on Y/n's bedroom floor. He moved a little as she went to his back. He took a glance to watch her, thinking that the zipper was quite easy to find but the sight of Y/n's fingers fumbling was adorable to Miles that he couldn't help but feel giddy.

Y/n scooted closer and was quick to work her hand to pull the zipper down, slowly revealing his toned back that made her breath hitch in her throat. She was sure the tension between them was palpable now that it was highly suffocating. Y/n continued to unzip him, pushing the suit off his shoulders and down his arms, showing more of his able-bodied frame. "I'll um... use the bandages now." She whispered, trying hard not to linger for too long.

Miles could feel the heat as the suit slowly peels off of his skin, watching it drop on his lap as it stopped just above his waist. He can almost feel the gaze of her eyes on every inch of his exposed skin, the image of her lips moving up and down across it playing over in his head. He mentally slapped himself for being such a creep.

His voice was a bit shaky as he answered her. "O-Okay sounds good," he replied.

Y/n began to wrap her arms around him, her fingers slightly grazing his skin as she circled the bandage to where his wound was. The feeling of the tips of her nails tracing his skin was enough to shoot goosebumps all over her body, and the fact that she had to lean close to the side of his face was making her vision kind of fuzzy.

She swears if he listened closely, he'd hear her thumping heart. "You should um, change the bandages in two days." Y/n murmured, her breath slightly fanning his jaw.

Miles inhaled sharply, the feel of Y/n's hands on his skin intensifying the already overwhelming emotions he was feeling. The sound of Y/n's voice, her breath hitting his skin, is almost enough to make him break down and melt into pudding right then and there on her floor.

Miles managed to respond, however, his words sound rushed and raggedy. "Right... two days," He echoed, taking a few deep breaths.

Y/n tried to quicken her work, clipping the bandage together once she's fully covered his wounds. She swiftly pulled away, eager to put some distance between them as she lets out heavy breaths, hoping to stop her heart from pounding so loudly in her ears. "Okay well, it's all done." She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

The now bandaged-up Miles looked down, nodding at Y/n as his cheeks turn a deeper shade of crimson than before while he moves to cover his torso with his suit once more, smoothly zipping up his back.

It's been a while since he's blushed this much and he knows Y/n was the only one capable of doing this to him just from her touch and that damn gorgeous voice of hers.

His eyes turn back up to look at Y/n. Miles didn't know what to do or say, wanting nothing more to just have the ground swallow him whole.

Y/n's eyes met his gaze, the silence between them seemingly getting louder. She didn't even know why she was getting so flustered, she barely even knew him as they haven't talked that much in school. But she couldn't deny that it felt as if there was something between them that she couldn't exactly comprehend.

She wondered how the hell would she look at him now during classes. "Did... you need anything else?" She suddenly spoke up, eager to break the silence.

"Uh... no.. no thank you, I'm... good." Miles manages to reply. He took in the sight of her lips and her eyes before looking away from her, scared that he might creep his crush out. He was definitely about to lose his goddamn mind any minute now.

Y/n tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, nodding mindlessly as she tried to keep her gaze down. Her entire body felt like it was on fire and she couldn't help but bite her lip at how awkward it was now.

She definitely did not expect her night to turn out this way, it was one thing to find Spiderman by her window asking for help with his wounds. It was another to find out that he was a classmate of hers. "Then... I'll see you at class?" She asked, looking back at him with a shy smile.

Poor boy could only nod with cheeks still red as ever. "Y-Yeah... see you at class Y/n." He said shakily. But he was internally screaming at himself, saying that he should do something now before the opportunity passes through him. He just has to do it. It's now or never.

"Can I um.. ask you something?"

Y/n nodded slightly, still trying to internally understand why she was feeling this way around Miles. "Yeah sure, what is it?" She asked, trying to keep her composure and to avoid her voice from stuttering or cracking. She was already embarrassed and nervous in front of him as it is and she didn't want to make it worse with how awkward she was probably being.

The heat in Miles' cheeks was almost unbearable and his heart continued to race the more he looked at her. This was nothing compared to how he'd linger on her in school, and he was just close to exploding. If anything, he just wants to reveal how he's been crushing on her since the first day of school.

"Are... are you free this weekend?" Miles asked, his words slightly rushed as he struggled to get it out of his lips. God can't he just get himself together for once?

Y/n's eyes widened at his question. She mentally asked herself if it was possible for her heart to leap out of her throat at how hard it was hammering inside her. Her mind went blank for a few seconds, feeling a bit hazy. "Yeah I am..." She said, attempting to sound normal in sharp contrast with her raging emotions.

Her reply caused Miles to smile brightly, "Then, would you like to hang out?" He asked, "Just... us..." He quickly added, a bit quieter in that last part. He hopes she would say yes and that it wouldn't have any weird consequences. Miles couldn't believe he was finally asking his crush out.

Before Y/n could even reply, she was already nodding slowly as if her body had a mind of its own. A smile lingered on her lips, her eyes holding a tinge of nervousness and anticipation. "That's totally cool with me."

Miles was beaming now, his whole body vibrating with the overflowing happiness he was feeling right now. He cleared his throat though, trying to contain the excitement inside him. "Okay, I'll... see you this weekend then," He said as he tried to stop the huge grin threatening to appear on his face.

She said yes!

Y/n couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, feeling a light flutter in her chest from the look on his face. The atmosphere around them had become lighthearted now, sensing something blossoming between them. "Yeah I'll see you then, Miles."

Fin.

Taglist: @ii01vp @laylasbunbunny @missusmorales @fiannee @faeriesberries

(if you want to be on the taglist feel free to let me know!)

read more of my writing here

ﾟ｡ ⋆ mags' radio: Idk how awards nominations work... so pls suspend your disbelief. This was a fun one! I know anon said they wanted a chaotic ending, so I tried my bestest ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡

German translations (idk German so I used a translator) Hase, Schatz = affectionate nicknames (side note: all german nicknames are adorable) Ich war mir sicher, dass du es kapieren würdest = I knew you’d get it Ich bin so stolz auf dich = I’m so proud of you Ich liebe dich mehr als alles andere = I love you more than anything

taglist: @fulla02reads @flowerchild-96 @camillalarke @cool-ultra-nerd @azxulaa @booksobsess @formulakay

#waratah-vroom perfumes #mick schumacher #mick schumacher x yn #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher x y/n #mick schumacher x you #mick schumacher fanfic #mick schumacher imagine #mick schumacher drabble #mick schumacher instagram #mick schumacher smau #f1 imagine #f1 #f1 fanfic

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turtletaubwrites · 5 months

Text

I Knew It Would Hurt ~ Part 9

Pairings: Zoro x Fem!Reader, Sanji x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4,715

This is part 9 of the Series 'We've All Got Needs,' linked below:

We've All Got Needs Masterlist

Ao3 Series Link

Summary: You're waiting for the boys to make their decision. Waiting is really fucking hard.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Fem!Reader, 18+ Only, MDNI, Reader-Insert, Smut, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Relationship Discussions, Relationship Drama, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Penis in Vagina Sex, I left out some tags to avoid spoilers but there’s nothing crazy if you’ve read this far already

A/N: Here's another rollercoaster, and it's the longest one so far! I'm super grateful for all of your interactions with this story. I've loved turning that little smut scene into this fun character dynamic, and I really hope you enjoy this next installment. Thank you!!

A soft knock at the door woke you, and for a moment you felt fine. Then you remembered.

“I’ve got your breakfast, can I come in?”

Nami frowned when she saw you. She set your plate down on your desk, then pulled you into a hug.

“This whole thing seems like a lot of work. I’m here if you need me, okay?”

“Thanks, Nami. All I wanted to do was take a long shower, and now I might be breaking up with two people I’m not actually with.”

“Gotta be careful about those showers, they can fuck you up.”

You gave a laugh that might have been a sob before squeezing her tighter.

“Love you.”

She pulled away, but grabbed your shoulders, leaning her face toward yours.

“Love ya too, weirdo. What do you need today?”

“Um, can you bring me my field notes? Chopper knows where they are. I’m just gonna work in here today, I’m not ready to people.”

“Of course. I can bring you your other meals too if you want.”

Sighing as you nodded, memories of recent times in the kitchen fought you as you tried to shove them down.

“Luffy really thinks you’re sick now.”

“He might not be far off. I feel like shit.”

After Nami came back to drop off lunch later, another knock came, freezing you on the spot.

“Hi, it’s Robin.”

You cringed a bit, embarrassed for her to see you like this, but you let her in. Her eyes combed over you, lips pursing as she stepped inside. She kept a noticeable distance between you.

“Y/N, I came to apologize. I shouldn’t have been pushing you like this, I knew you were overwhelmed already. I’m so sorry I added to your struggle.”

“No, Robin, it's okay. You helped me! I really needed to hear what you said.”

Robin let out a breath, but her brows were still tensed. She looked down at the ground before meeting your eyes again.

“I shouldn’t have pushed myself on you. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Her normally steady eyes looked heavy, a sight she rarely shows.

Reaching for her hand, you felt a gentle smile warming your face.

“I’m not sorry.”

Her lips curled up just a bit, and she squeezed your fingers gently.

“I’m so glad to hear that… How about we wait on that date until everything settles?”

You almost argued that you didn’t need to wait, but you realized that you did.

“Thank you, Robin.”

She brushed a strand of hair from your face, and you breathed in her lovely scent.

“Thank you, Y/N. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll do what I can to calm the rest of the crew.”

The comfort that Robin's presence left you with made you feel safer, warmer.

But it was as if that feeling of safety made room for your body to feel the rest.

Sitting at your desk staring at your field notes, your vision started to blur. You had to close your journal to keep tears from staining your monographs.

You kept your sobs silent, not wanting anyone to hear. Then you remembered why you’d gotten so good at keeping your screams quiet lately. You had to cover your mouth as you choked, louder sobs escaping you now.

Why did I do this to myself? I knew it would hurt. Just not this much, not so fast. I should have stopped.

But you hated that thought. The thought of not enjoying the short time you’d had with both of them. The pleasures, the laughter, the growing warmth. You didn’t want to lose any of it, even if it would hurt less.

You tried not to think about what choice they would make. The only one you wanted felt selfish. You’d get to have everything.

And if you didn’t get to have everything, then it would be nothing. You knew that even if one of the boys chose to leave, and one wanted to stay, you couldn’t continue with only one. There was too much heat between all three of you. You knew it would drive an even bigger wedge between them, potentially tearing them, and the crew apart.

I can’t do that.

So it was all or nothing, and your body was preparing you for the worst.

A knock shook you from your spiral and you moved to the door, expecting Nami. Wiping your tears and shaking your arms, you checked.

“Who is it?”

“Hi, Y/N. I’ve got your dinner, and I didn’t eat any of it.”

Your eyes went wide, but you let your captain in.

“Thank you, Luffy.”

He walked right in, setting your plate on your desk before plopping on your bed.

You stared, not sure what to say. He pointed to your desk chair, and you felt suddenly terrified as you sat and faced him. He watched you like he was sizing you up.

“Robin told me and Chopper why you’ve been weird.”

“O-Oh?”

“I’m the captain, Y/N. I need to know my crew is okay.”

Fear iced through you, and you stared into your lap. He should kick me off the crew. I’m splintering his best fighters, endangering everyone.

His hand stretched toward you, and he touched your shoulder until you met his eyes.

“It all seems a little crazy to me.”

You let out a near panicked laugh before you caught yourself.

“Yeah, me too.”

“But you care about them?”

His deep eyes looked so soft, his voice intense.

“I do.”

Nodding, he crossed his arms.

“They care about you too, Y/N.”

You felt your lips shaking, heat rising in your throat.

“As long as you care about each other, and keep fighting for your dreams, I’m happy.”

Hot tears spilled down your cheeks as Luffy started to smile.

“Can you be happy too?”

Your lips pulled into a strained smile as you tried to stop your tears.

“I’ll get there, Luffy. It’s just rough right now. But I’m glad you’re my captain.”

Luffy was beaming at you now, then stretched to ruffle your hair. He leaned toward you, and whispered softly.

“Will you keep giving me the extra food Sanji makes you?”

You burst out laughing, and Luffy’s smile stretched even wider.

“Yes, captain!”

Luffy grabbed you in a hug, twirling you as much as he could in the small quarters. This is family.

As he left he gave you one more serious look.

“Y/N, please tell me next time something is hurting you. I’m your captain and I need to know.”

“I promise, Luffy.”

All the emotions of the day had you feeling empty, but now it was more pleasantly numb. Your biggest fear of losing your place on this crew, in this family, those fears were shrinking away from you. Soft tears of relief left your eyes now, and you tried to comfort yourself against the hurt of losing Zoro and Sanji. At least I won’t lose them completely.

That thought brought back more of the pain, but you shook it off. It was getting late, and you wanted to get some air. Steeling yourself, you picked up your dishes and went down the hall, hoping to sneak them into the galley before sitting out on deck.

You crept against the wall, listening to check if Sanji was inside or not before heading in.

But you heard two low voices.

“You don’t know her like I do.”

“I care about her, Marimo. I care about her enough to share her with you. Can you say the same?”

You tried to force your body to turn around, to head back to your room, but all you could focus on was not shaking the plate and silverware in your hands.

Your heart was in your throat, and you felt faint as you waited for what felt like hours for his response.

“Yeah, I can, idiot cook.”

A gasping sob escaped you, and you tried to cover your mouth. Instead, you dropped your dishes, the plate shattering at your bare feet. You stared at the broken porcelain, and started laughing hysterically.

“Y/N!”

They both rushed out, concern in their eyes.

“Are you hurt?” “You okay?”

You were too out of it to respond, and kept laughing as they both tried to lift you. Zoro won, lifting you in his arms, while Sanji brushed along your feet and legs, checking for glass.

Your breathing slowed as you felt Zoro’s racing heart, and you felt like you could fall asleep in his arms. He carried you into the kitchen while Sanji swept up the broken plate.

Zoro placed you gingerly in the booth, his brows furrowed as he looked you over.

“Needy, please. Are you okay?”

You smiled at the nickname, and looked at them both as Sanji joined you at the table.

“I’m okay.”

Neither of them seemed convinced, but you couldn’t explain the rush of relief and happiness that had just torn through your already overwhelmed system. But you tried.

“I didn’t mean to. But I heard you.”

You felt your lips quivering again as they both seemed to soften.

“It’s okay if you still need some time to think-”

“I don’t need time my love-” “I’m good, Needy-”

Your cheeks hurt from the smile that stretched your face, especially when they both grinned back at you.

Then your mouth stretched further into the biggest, loudest yawn you’d ever felt.

“You need some sleep-” “Let’s get you to bed, dear-”

Zoro went to lift you, but Sanji tapped his shoulder.

“You just carried her, It’s my turn now.”

“I’m not letting a pervert cook into her bedroom when she needs to rest.”

“Boys,” you commanded with another yawn. “Flip a coin or something please, I’m tired.”

Your yawns were mixed with tired giggles while you saw them rustling through their pockets. Sanji’s satisfied laugh, and Zoro’s grumble gave away the winner.

Sanji lifted you gently, and you smelled cigarette smoke and spices on his jacket. Zoro followed close, opening the door, and hovering while Sanji set you in bed, drawing the covers over you.

“Good night, darling-” “Good night, Needy-”

“Night, boys…”

A soft knock woke you, and for a moment you felt all that sadness. Then you remembered.

You sat straight up in bed, hoping that it wasn’t a dream.

“Who-Who is it?”

“Your favorite navigator, lazybones. Do you want to come to breakfast?”

You jumped out of bed, stumbling.

“Yeah, I’ll be right out!”

Your reflection looked dazed, and you slapped your cheeks a few times, laughing. You hurried to get ready, and had to stop yourself from racing down the hall.

Everyone was there, already digging into their plates. They all turned to stare at you with teasing, or cheesy faces. Your face flushed, and you bit your lip before climbing into the empty spot Zoro had saved for you. You were next to him at the edge of the table, where Sanji stepped up to bring you what looked like a mimosa with tangerine blossoms for a garnish.

“Hey, why don’t I get one of those?”

“Apologies Nami, dear. I will whip one up for you right away. Would you like one as well, Robin?”

“That sounds lovely, Sanji.”

“Hey, don’t hog the booze, waiter. Make me one of those too.”

“You haven’t earned it, moss hea-”

Everyone's clamoring voices died down as you burst out laughing, almost hysterical, but so full of joy and relief.

Luffy grinned, stretching to hit your arm lightly with his fist, Chopper looked confused, Usopp was asking Sanji for his own mimosa, and Nami and Robin laughed with you.

The boys had stopped arguing, and were both staring at you. Until your skin flushed red again, and your laughter hiccuped and faded.

“Ugh. I love you, Y/N, but this is gonna get annoying real fast.”

You stuck your tongue out at Nami as she winked, and fell into quiet joy while you tried to listen to the group.

Sanji kept bringing you delicious gifts, and you’d wink at Luffy so he could snag them. Each time Sanji came your way he would give you a soft peck on the forehead, or shoulder, or knuckles.

A low grumble moved through Zoro, but all he did was wrap his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his warmth.

Feeling like you were going to pass out, you didn’t even hear most of what the crew were saying while they teased you.

You caught yourself doing your happy food wiggle dance, and couldn’t seem to stop, even humming now and then. The crew left the three of you there, and you didn’t hear their goodbyes, just beamed lazily at them.

Sanji brought his plate to the table, and cleared his throat until Zoro begrudgingly scooted over, dragging you with him to make room on the bench. Sanji winked at you before diving into his meal, and you just sat there wiggling, out of your mind.

“I knew you were fuckin’ needy.”

You laughed while Sanji spluttered, and you patted his knee to calm him.

“What do you mean, Zoro,” you smirked up at him, teasing.

“You know what I mean. So fucking spoiled.”

“Don’t listen to him, angel. You deserve to be spoiled, to be-”

Another bout of hysterical laughter left you, and eventually they joined in.

Finally, you gained some control of yourself, and tried to hold a conversation.

“I’m so happy you both chose to stay with me.”

You stopped them both from speaking at the same time, realizing that it would be difficult to get much done with all three of you in a room.

“We definitely need to keep checking in, and figuring out boundaries. I don’t think my brain is up for that today though.”

“What are you up for, my dear?”

“Mm, I like this,” you sighed, rocking back and forth against each of their sides.

You caught Zoro rolling his eyes, and you stuck your tongue out at him.

“What about you guys? Your needs matter too here. What do you need?”

Neither spoke for a minute, and you played with your spoon.

“I guess, um…”

You looked up at Zoro, desperate to hear him actually express his fucking needs.

“How do we figure out time for just us?”

He said those words softly, and you knew how huge it was that he hadn’t said it with anger or frustration. You smiled up at him, then at Sanji who seemed to be waiting with rapt attention.

“Well, we can always check in, and change things if the system isn’t working out. But how about for now we stick to alternating days? Not just for sex, but for our time together?”

They both nodded, Zoro slowly, and Sanji with an eager smile. You squeezed both of their knees before reaching for the last of your mimosa.

You sat back, and they both tilted to see you better. You fought more laughter at what a lovely pair they made.

“Y/N, dear-” “So who-”

They glared at each other, until Sanji did a small mock bow to let Zoro go first.

Zoro’s mouth twitched as he looked away from both of you before continuing. He didn’t meet your gaze when he finished his question.

“Who’s turn is it?”

Your lips parted, and you watched them both look guilty while they waited for you.

This is crazy. How did I manage this?

Zoro cleared his throat, leaning with his elbows over the table.

“Yesterday was supposed to be my day.”

“Technically we didn’t finish my day before that.”

“You’re really gonna pressure her ab-” “You’re the one that’s pressuring her Mari-”

“Technically today was supposed to be Robin’s day.”

Your words shut them both up, and it took way too much effort to hold in your satisfied smile at their expressions.

Zoro looked shocked again, as if he’d blocked that out of his mind. Sanji’s fists had clenched, and you could see the veins in his neck and face throbbing as he turned bright red.

You couldn’t help it. A small laugh escaped you.

“Don’t worry, Robin and I decided to wait on our date until things are settled.”

You could have sworn you heard a tiny whimper from Sanji’s throat.

“How about we start things fresh with a coin toss?”

They both reached for a coin and threw them in the air, calling out the choice. You laughed as they both lost their own tosses.

“Let me do it.”

You’d grabbed Zoro’s coin, and tried to mimic them. You kept throwing it onto the table, or failing to catch it. The coin would drop on your lap, both of them reaching for your thighs to grab it for you, growling as their hands touched.

“Gods, can you guys just agree on which one of you tosses the coin? Pretty please?”

Sanji ended up giving in to your wishes again first, letting the swordsman toss. Then Zoro swore as the coin fell in Sanji’s favor. Sanji kissed your cheek while Zoro left the table after rubbing along your shoulders.

“See ya later, Needy.”

“Wait!”

You rushed over to your surly crewmate. The man who had walked in on you in the shower, and declared that you should fuck. You laughed softly at how crazy your life had been since that moment. And you couldn’t be more grateful for it if you tried.

“What,” he asked, his brows tensing as you laughed.

“It’s nothing,” you whispered, standing on tip toes in a silent request for a kiss.

His look of surprise deepened your smile, and he gripped the hair at the back of your neck when he pulled you to his lips.

A soft cough sounded behind you, and Zoro hummed as he pulled away to smirk at the cook. You nudged him out the door.

Turning around, you saw his eyes wide, waiting. You leaned toward him, feeling his soft lips kiss the corners of your mouth before pulling you into his arms to breathe along your ear.

“All to myself?”

Sanji’s raspy voice made you moan, your body still so ready even with all that had happened. You almost felt high, like all the emotions had left your body buzzing.

You looked up into his soft eyes, watching his lips part when he noticed how heavy your breaths were.

“D-Darling. I didn’t mean… Let me-”

He froze when you gripped his arms to keep him from pulling away.

“I want all sorts of lovely moments with you, Sanji, and I know we’re going to have them.”

The sweet smile that bloomed on his face made your heart dance in your chest for a moment, and you had to take a deep breath.

“I don’t want you to feel bad if we start today where we left off.”

You let heat fill your eyes as you wet your lips. Sanji’s eyes seemed to be pulled to your mouth, and you saw his breath hitch.

“A-Are you sure?”

Grinning at him, you nodded as you bit your lip.

He lunged toward your lips again, but you pressed your hands to his chest.

“Maybe we should go to one of our rooms now that everyone knows?”

You gasped as he looked at you like he was about to eat you.

“That’s too far, sweetheart. How about I take you in the pantry?”

You’d barely breathed out your ‘yes,’ before he lifted you into the air. He pulled you so fast, but still managed to grip you in a way that was comfortable. Your arms and legs wrapped around him, and he groaned while you kissed and licked along his neck.

Setting you gently in the walk in pantry, he held your face while he kissed you before rushing out. You tilted your head after him, but moaned when he returned with a condom and lube. Memories of your first time with him, and the sting and pleasure of his thick cock pulsed through you. Your eyes fell back in your head, and he gave a satisfied chuckle as he turned on the small light before closing the door.

“My sweet, Y/N… How can I show you how special you are to me?”

“You can tell me all the filthy things you want to do to me.”

You pulled your panties off from under your skirt and threw them at his chest.

Sanji had to catch himself against the wall as he moaned, almost dropping the lube.

He already looked wrecked when he met your eyes, and it drove you crazy.

“What do you want to do to me, Sanji?”

He was panting as he watched you pull your skirt up, so slowly. You took the condom and lube from him, and set them on a shelf.

Skin on fire, you didn’t know what had gotten into you. But you wanted him now, and you couldn’t stop yourself. You pressed yourself against his chest, looking into his blown out eyes. Both of you cried out when you dragged your hand along his length, already so fucking hard.

“Sanji, I asked you a question.”

Your words came out soft and dark. You watched his eyes flutter, and you wanted to speed him up. Taking his hand in yours, you whispered his name before pressing his fingers into your wet folds.

He moaned so loud, and your knees went weak. He had to catch you, then he pressed you against the wall, shoving two fingers into you.

“You are so fucking perfect. My sweet, dirty angel.”

Crying out at his praise, your body started shaking for him.

“P-Please, Sanji.”

He rutted against your thigh when you begged, and the feel of his clothed shaft rubbing against you made you whimper.

“I can’t believe you’re letting me do this to you. Such a beautiful, lovely girl. And you’re letting me touch you like this, where anyone could find us.”

He moaned into your ear, breathing in the scent of your hair.

You cried out his name, already feeling on the edge, ready.

“So gorgeous. Let me take care of you, angel. Let me make you feel good.”

“Yes, Sanji, please.”

He fell to his knees with a moan, tasting your needy cunt with that skilled tongue. His two fingers kept up their work while he swirled his tongue ring around your clit.

You had already started shaking before he plunged that third finger into you, and then you were gone. You shoved your own fist into your teeth, and panted as you bucked against Sanji’s face, coming on his tongue.

He licked you up like he was dying of thirst, while his three fingers kept prepping you.

He looked up at you, face glistening in the small light.

“You taste divine, my sweet.”

You moaned as his fingers kept working you.

“It’s probably time for me to prep for lunch, darling.”

You whined, grinding on his fingers.

He groaned, then checked his watch.

“Please Sanji. We’ll have so many more times to play for longer. Please fuck me against the wall right now. I know how much your perverted mind wants you to.”

You moaned as Sanji’s hand twitched inside you, his head falling back as he moaned.

“Please Sanji, I know you’ll take good care of me. Please, please fuck me now. I know you’d love it if someone caught us.”

He fell forward, mouth hanging open as his face pressed against your hip.

He was still taking too long.

You gripped your fingers into his hair, and pulled his face to yours.

“Sanji, are you going to make me beg?”

You watched his eyes harden, and cried out as his long fingers worked you with even more strength.

“A lady always gets what she wants in my kitchen.”

You moaned his name as he stood, kissing his way up your neck.

His fingers left you, and you clung to the wall as you watched him free his cock from his slacks before dragging the condom and lube down his length.

He came toward you, and lifted your leg so that your foot rested on a low shelf. His hands trailed along your neck, then your thighs. Your back arched as he teased his shaft along your entrance, the size of him so warm against you.

“I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

His whispers against your cheek while he dragged his tip along your clit made you shiver for him.

“To have such an exquisite beauty, coming on my face in the pantry.”

You cried out, clawing at his shoulders.

He slapped his thick cock against your entrance a few times while you moaned for him.

“To have such a gorgeous pussy, aching for me to fill it.”

“Fuck, Sanji, please!”

“Of course, darling.”

Biting your lip, your head fell back as you felt him against your center. Not even pressed into you, and your body was readying.

“That’s good, angel. Breathe for me. You know I’ll take care of you.”

You moaned for him, scratching your nails down his striped shirt as he pushed into you, so slowly.

“Gods, Sanji-”

“Shh, darling. Just breathe, and take me, baby. I know you can, you’re so perfect for me.”

Your pussy clenched around him, and he thrust the rest of the way in as he moaned.

“Sweetheart, you okay?”

“Y-Yes, Sanji.”

“Good girl… So perfect.”

As Sanji’s thick cock started pumping into you, slowly, then faster and faster, you forgot where you were, who you were. Just the sharp pain and pleasure of him inside you, and his endless, delectable words were all that held you to reality. His breath was hot on your face and neck as he panted his praise along your skin.

“Y/N, your pussy is fucking heavenly, baby. Fuck. Just like that, I feel you squeezing me so hard. You want my cock inside you, don’t you angel. You want me to make you feel so good, to take care of my perfect girl.”

“Yes, Sanji. Please take care of me.”

He moaned at that, shoving into you, thrusts becoming staggered. He reached down, massaging your clit while you gasped.

“So soft, so good for me…There you go darling- fuck, yes Y/N, milk my cock like a good girl- fuck-”

Sanji came into you with whimpered moans while you shattered around him. He had to hold your slumped body up, gingerly removing himself from you while you cried out.

You whimpered as he pressed soft kisses to your face, before reaching for your panties on the floor. He gave you a satisfied smile as he used them to wipe you clean, before using them to clean himself off after removing that very full condom.

You moaned while you watched him rub your panties on his cock, his eyes heavy lidded even after what you’d just done.

“You’re gonna need to buy me some new panties if you keep taking all of mine.”

His breath came out heavy as he smiled.

“Oh I plan on buying you so many special gifts, my sweet.”

Miraculously, you made it out of the pantry with time to spare, even rushing for a quick shower before heading back to lunch.

Even though it was Sanji’s day, it looked like meals were going to stay a shared time. You sighed as you leaned against Zoro, dampening his shirt with your still wet hair.

“Y/N, do you know if we still have any yarrow? I remember you said it can be used to staunch bleeding, and I’d like to keep some on hand if we run out of our other supplies.”

“Y-Yes Chopper. I believe we do, but I’ll check after lunch.”

I really should get back to work at some point.

But with Zoro’s warmth at your side, and Sanji’s wink while he started on dishes, you weren't sure how you were going to do that.

Especially when you met Robin’s deep blue eyes, and saw her lips curve in that teasing smile.

Who knows the next time we’ll be in danger again? I should enjoy this bliss for as long as I can.

Your selfish little smile at that thought felt oh so good.

I guess I really am Needy after all.

Thank you for reading! 💜

TurtleTaub Fanfic Masterlist

Part 10

Tag List: @astheni-a | @ferns-fics | @heilee | @iamn1ya | @ghostfacefricker6969

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think about where things have landed! I know I've been posting daily updates, but I'm visiting family for the next few days so it might be a couple days until the next one. Unless I get bored, I will be bringing a tablet and keyboard with me 😅

Buy me a coffee ☕🙏🏼

#One Piece smut #Reader Insert #Fem!Reader #Smut #mine #Opla smut #zoro smut #zoro x reader #opla zoro x reader #zoro x you #zoro fanfic #zoro fanfiction #sanji smut #sanji x reader #sanji fanfiction #sanji fanfic #x reader #turtletaub fics

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thethreeeyed-raven · 6 months

Note

Hey pooks, hope the brits haven't gotten to your head yet. All that tea ya know? PIP PIP, ELLO!!!

anywho, imma hit you with a daddy Zuko req.

So, him and fem reader are childhood friends. And she was kind of a ball of Anxiety and didn't have many friends. So zuko took her under his wing, and was really protective of her.

So when he is banished, he doesn't take her with him because he think she's safer at home.

She thinks she made him mad somehow, and she thinks Zuko hates her and left her.

After he returns (pretending to have killed Avatar) she kind of avoids him, cause she thinks she did sm wrong.

Zuko thinks he did sm wrong, and thinks that she hates him because of the banishing and him kinda being a murderer.

He finally is like "wth, talk to me. Ily, I missed you sm"

And she's like "I thought u hated me ilyt"

And he's like "pooks, u can't love me I've done terrible things.'

And she's like "bby, ily I know u never hurt me. Idc that u banished and a murderer. U always take care of me pooks."

And they all live happily ever after.

WELP, have a good tea time!!!

return

navigation | warnings : none? | a/n : this was better in my head, must of been the 5 cups of tea i have everyday | zuko playlist | tags : @fangsp1der-2099 , @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom , @knight-of-flowerss , @mochminnie

You remembered the day he left.

He didn’t even look back at you.

He just left you there.

But now he had returned.

What were you to do? You hadn’t spoken to him in almost three years.

He was banished, you knew that. But why didn’t he take you with him?

Zuko had felt nervous all day.

Yes, he was scared of what his father would do. But he was more scared of what you would say.

Did you even stay in the fire nation?

When you were feeling down, you usually went to feed the turtle ducks.

Today was one of those days, it was nothing new.

It was quiet and peaceful, until a voice you thought you’d never hear again.

“Hello.”

You whipped your head around and met those enchanting golden eyes.

“Zuko.”

He approached you slowly, then sat down.

The silence was awkward at first. Zuko then had the courage to speak.

“I need to apologise to you.”

You looked at him from your peripheral view.

“When I was banished, I was afraid to take you with me. I didn’t want you to see me that way.”

“And I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad you didn’t see what I became, what I have become. For that I’m sorry, but I also don’t regret it.”

The hungry turtle ducks were far out of your mind now. Your thoughts were filled with the boy next to you.

“I thought you hated me. You didn’t even look at me when you left.”

All this time, Zuko thought that you had forgotten about him. He never imagined that you would hate him.

“I could never hate you. I didn’t look at you because I felt shameful.”

Both of you didn’t know what to say.

“When you were gone, I was all alone. You remember me having no friends don’t you? Well, no one definitely wanted to be friends with the buddy of the banished Prince.”

“And I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.”

Zuko shook his head. “You have the right.”

“I didn’t hate you…because I loved you. I always have.”

You took your hands in his gently. “I’ve always loved you too, and even now, after all you’ve done. I know I can love you.”

His hand softly caressed your face and he brought you closer. “Can I…”

Nodding, you closed the gap and brought your lips together.

Yours were soft against his chapped ones, both of you enjoyed the feeling of the other.

“We can learn to love properly again. I know it.”

#sokka avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender x reader #prince zuko x reader #atla zuko #prince zuko #zuko #zuko x y/n #zuko x you #zuko x katara #fire lord zuko #zuko x sokka #zuko x reader #avatar zuko

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arctrooper69 · 1 year

Note

hiii! i just found your hurt/comfort dialog prompt list you had tagged and i'm such a sucker for that kind of stuff. could you please do prompt 34. "you're covered in blood, need to tell me something?" with wolffe? maybe even a little bit of prompts 20 and 35 from the the hurt/comfort sprinkled in there too? i absolutely adore your work and your such a fantastic writer, i look forward to everytime you post, and you do such a beautiful job on your writing that i can't wait to read this once it is done (if you decided to do it) . feel free to change it how you want, and thank you for taking time out of busy day to read this. love you <333

Hey! I'm so glad you've been enjoying my work! Sorry it took me awhile to get this out to you. I had so many ideas for it but I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. Hope you enjoy it! 😁

Prompt# 20: "How long did you think that you could hide that?"

Prompt# 34: "You're covered in blood, need to tell me anything?"

Prompt# 35: "It's just a headache, I'm fine."

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Love is a Battlefield

The new General doesn't want to ask for help. Commander Wolffe does so anyway.

Warnings: Blood. Angst. Battlefield scenes. Hurt/Comfort.

--------------------------------------------------

"Okay, today officially sucks." You grumbled under your breath, cursing whatever cosmic Force led you to be in your current state. Groaning you dragged yourself back over the ledge and collapsed in the mud. Everything hurt. Your clothes were stiff with dried and drying blood and at this point, you weren't sure if it belonged to you or to those damn splox who's nest you'd fallen into. Probably both.

Ok, now to find the rest of the company. You were sure that you hadn't strayed too far from the battlefield when you'd been drug off by battle droids and thrown from a cliff in the resulting fight. But hey, at least you took them down with you. You thought, cracking a smile. Master Plo would've been proud. On the other hand, you frowned, you had gotten separated from everyone else - so maybe not so much.

You drew a sharp breath between your teeth. A burning, grating feeling radiated from your side as you stepped over a rock and nearly fell to the ground. You paused for a moment to let your tunneling vision focus again, fighting back the urge to throw up. Maybe some of the blood was actually yours. The trek back to camp was going to take much longer than you expected.

Good. Maybe that would give you time to mull over the conversation you'd had yesterday morning with the commander of you battalion.

You were sure it was the reason that Commander Wolffe was ignoring you earlier today.

***

You'd chosen to continue on with the battalion after Master Plo had received an urgent message from the Council, recalling him from the field. Wolffe disagreed.

"You're injured!" He snapped, more forcefully than intended.

You sighed rolling your eyes. "It's just a headache. I'm fine. You know I've had worse, Commander." It was more than a headache, probably a concussion due to the nausea and dizziness that currently plagued you. But he didn't need to know that.

Wolffe pinched the bridge of his nose.

"General, I saw that spider droid fling you halfway across the battlefield. Can you at least go to medical to get checked out? I need you-" He froze, then coughed quickly, trying to pass off his slip-up as though he'd been interrupted mid sentence. "We. We need you. Your men need you at your best, general."

He coughed again and quickly left the room, leaving you frozen in place.

***

Did he really say that? You replayed his words in your head over and over again.

"I need you."

You couldn't deny that it had shaken you. You couldn't deny that it had hit you in such a way that made your whole body tingle and flood with warmth. As much as you tried to suppress it and convince yourself it was nothing, you had found yourself staring at the Commander a lot recently. The way he confidently carried himself, the subtle spark in his eye, the way he cared for his men even though he hid it behind that abrasive and sarcastic front - it was all so perfect. So attractive. So him.

No, he couldn't have meant it like that. You were his superior and even more importantly, you were a Jedi. No attachment allowed. He definitely couldn't have meant it like that. It was simply a slip of the tongue. He felt nothing for you and you felt nothing for him. You told yourself that your infatuation wasn't real. Commander Wolffe was a good solider and your fondness for him was simply a professional sense of pride. That's all.

Distant voices interrupted your brooding. Several clone troopers were searching high and low, calling out for someone but you didn't quite catch the name.

"Who are we looking for?" You walked up to the trooper closest to you. His shiny white armor was streaked with mud and ash - one of the new guys. Splash, they'd christened him on account of the puddle of mud he'd landed in immediately after jumping from the gunship into the field. It was hard to believe you'd only been here for three days. It felt like three years.

"We're looking for the General!" He explained hurriedly, hardly giving you a side glance.

Your heart dropped. Surely not Master Plo. Had he not left for Coruscant after all? Your hero and former master had seemed invincible ever since he'd chosen you to be his Padawan.

"General Plo Koon?" You asked hesitantly.

Splashed grunted as he stepped over a log. "No, the other one."

A wave of relief washed over you. You could've laughed out loud if your head wasn't so cloudy. Your side screamed with every step. You took a shallow breath, trying to ground yourself.

I am one with the force and the force is with me. I am one with the force and the force is with me.

Supplementing with the force wouldnt last long and it was draining, but it was better than the agony you'd been in. You took a deep breath, allowing the pain to become a whisper and looked back up at the clone.

"Well you found her!" You joked.

"What?" He stood up looking confused. Then he looked over at you.

Splash straightened up upon realizing that he had indeed found the General. He was glad he was wearing his bucket because he could feel his face turning red with embarrassment. He scrambled stiffly to attention. "Uhm, sorry Sir. I mean Ma'am. Uh, General." He stuttered, trying to compose himself. You chuckled, wincing as the movement pulled at your wounded side. Splash looked alarmed as if he'd just realized that his General was covered in blood. "Are you injured, Ma'am?"

You grit your teeth to hide the pain. "No, I'm fine, thank you. I believe it all belongs to the splox that I killed. Fell into a nest of em."

He looked at you, unsure if you were being serious or not, trying to recall if the regulation manuals told him what to do in a situation like this.

"We should probably make our way to medical, all the same." He concluded. "Just to be safe. Get you checked out and all." He offered his arm.

You shook your head. "No that's alright. They're much too busy right now, seeing as the battle has just ended."

"Well I'm sure..."

You put a hand up to stop him. "It's fine, Splash. I can take care of myself. Let's worry about making our way back to camp."

"Of course, General."

***

You made your way back to camp and bid Splash a farewell. Exhausted, you yawned and slowly made your way back to your tent, passing the Commander's tent on your way there.

"General!" Commander Wolffe sprang to his feet the moment he saw you. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

His eyebrows knit tightly together with a frown. If you didn't know better, you almost thought he looked concerned. Worried even. But that would be stupid. You were reading too much into it. He was simply a solider looking out for the welfare of his commanding officer. That's it. Nothing more.

"I'm good!" You grinned, hoping he didn't notice the way your teeth ground against the pain in your head and now your side.

Wolffe's face became unreadable.

"Just good!?" He growled. "General, you are covered in blood. 'Good' does not even begin to cover it. Do you need to tell me something?"

Yes. I think I'm in love with you.

"No not really." You nonchantly shrugged. "It's not mine. Fell into a nest of those giant splox beetles and had to take em out before they ate me. You know how it is."

Wolffe rolled his eyes. He didn't believe you, but what could he do? He wasn't your superior, he couldn't order you to tell him. He made a note to ask Cody and Rex to let him into the clones-with-stubborn-generals club. He could sure use some advice.

"Could you be anymore bull-headed?" he wanted to yell at you as you left the room, interpreting his silence as the end of that conversation.

Wolffe groaned in frustration. Why did he care so much? Why did the thought of you being wounded send waves of terror cascading through his core. You were acting strange, subtly walking as though every step sent agony shooting through your body thinking nobody would notice. He noticed. He wanted to pick you up in his arms and bandage your wounds. He wanted to softly kiss each scar on your skin.

You were a good leader. He understood wanting to be tough, wanting to be strong for the soldiers under your command. If he was honest with himself, he did the same.

You trudged wearily back to your tent, ignoring the pain that was slowly returning to full force with a vengeance as though it was angry at being willed into submission.

You made it a point to avoid medical. The dwindling amount of medical supplies worried you. It was only a matter of time before they would run out if they weren't sent relief. The chief medical officer had drastically downplayed the dire straits the company was in when you asked him. You'd seen the inventory. It was scarce. It wouldn't be right, going to medical right now. Not when you could most likely patch yourself up with the small medkit by your bunk. The clones made up the backbone of the GAR, it was only right that they take priority over you.

***

It was a miracle of the Force that you hadn't passed out by the time you reached the tent. Biting your lip to keep you from making too much noise, you peeled off your shirt to assess the damage, grabbing a towel from the shelf.

You bit back a pained moan and your vision swam as you gripped the edge of your cot to steady yourself. A large gash curled around the side of your chest from the bottom of your breast to your hip. The torn skin bled heavily, quickly turning the towel a crimson red.

This was...not good.

The com chirped, making you jump. You felt dazed and exhausted. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath before answering the com. Sergeant Sinker's brisk voice echoed from the device.

"General, the clankers are moving in from the North. They've engaged the front and the 501st is calling for aid. What are your orders?"

Your men needed you. Who were you to ignore them? What kind of leader would you be if you sent them off while you stayed behind. "A good leader leads by example" Master Plo always said. You were tired of the animalistic way the clones were treated - as if they were only droids or worse. You would be there for your men, fighting right up front beside them. Right beside Commander Wolffe.

You lit up the com. "Proceed with the request, Sergeant. I'll be there shortly."

You looked at the medkit. Well, so much for that. You quickly taped up the wound and slapped some bacta treated gauze on it. Then you quickly changed your clothes, willing yourself to ignore the nauseating pain. You steadied yourself with a hand on the wall before wiping the cold sweat from your clammy skin. You tried to breathe, once more closing your eyes in meditation once again squashing down the pain. The show must go on. The General must lead her men into battle.

***

General Skywalker was right to call for aid. The Separatist forces were throwing everything they had at you. You jumped over the guns of a tank, slicing through the controls to disable it. Droid after droid came at you from all sides and you cut them down. If only the Commander could see you now in all your glory.

An explosion knocked you off your feet, wrenching you from your stupor. Pain surged through your body as you pushed yourself to your feet. The continuous onslaught of enemy forces wasn't so fun now. You began to realize just how tired you were. Trying to catch your breath felt as futile as swimming in honey. Your mind felt sluggish and your arms felt like lead. A B2 took aim and fired. You saw him fire and raised your saber to block but it was a fraction of a second too slow and the blast hit your shoulder. Kriff. You hit the ground hard, letting the awful, searing pain wash over you. You wanted to close your eyes. You wished you could just rest. Just for a moment.

Your eyes flew back open. No. The men need you. Get up. Shakily you forced yourself to your knees and onto your feet. One more time. You knew this was abusing the force but it was for an honorable reason. Right?

I am one with the force and the force is with me. I am one with the force and the force is with me. Pain is temporary. Accept it simply as a signal sent by the body. Accept the pain. Respect it. Don't fight it. Ask your body to begin to heal.

You let out a feral scream, pouring every last ounce of energy and willpower into your prayers, knocking back an entire wave of droids. And then you felt nothing.

***

My head. The first thing you noticed upon regaining consciousness was the skull splitting headache that you could almost feel radiating down your entire body. It felt as though someone was spearing red hot needles through your eyeballs, twisting them through the many sections of your brain. The pain made you nauseous.

An agonized wheeze drifted from your lips as you tried to raise your hands to cup your face. When did my arms get so heavy? Pain shot through your side and shoulder as you tried to move. Panic gripped you when you couldn't.

"Ah kriff," a gruff voice cursed. "Hey! General. General, it's okay. Calm down. You're safe." You'd know that voice anywhere - it was the only clear thing that cut through the haze of pain. Commander Wolffe.

He barked a command at someone and after a few minutes the pain had loosened it's claws. It wasn't much but it was better than before.

"What do you need, General? Are you still in pain?"

"Lights," you managed to groan. Even that took too much energy and you desperately hoped that you wouldn't be sick in front of the Commander.

Wolffe immediately jumped from his chair, quickly shutting off the lights. That helped some, but not much. It still felt like your head was being lobotomized by a pickaxe. Your side and shoulder felt like they'd been broken off and trampled by a bantha. A bantha that was on fire maybe.

"You are so kriffing stubborn, you know that!?" Wolffe growled. Seeing you wince, he lowered his volume but continued with the hard and bitter tone.

"How long did you think you could hide that!? Hmm?" He motioned to your side.

"You almost died yesterday." He said, softening his voice ever so slightly.

Wolffe looked tired. His eyes were sunken and even his cybernetic one had a dark shadow beneath it. He looked like he hadn't shaved or showered since the battle. His grey armor was still scuffed up with dirt and grime. A small bacta patch adorned his right eyebrow.

You looked away, shame burning at the corners your eyes, adding to the overwhelming pressure in your head. You failed him and now he hated you. You turned your head away from him wincing at the pain but you couldn't bear to have him see the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

"Look at me." A command. He didn't have the authority to give you a command, but you felt compelled to comply all the same. Hastily wiping your eyes in a futile attempt at seeming alright, you turned towards him. Your breath caught as he wrapped his hand around your wrist, pulling it from your face.

"Stop kriffing pretending that you're okay." Still a command, but this one felt softer. His voice still held the rough, bitter edge that defined him so well but as you met his eyes, they held an uncertain gaze of vulnerability.

"Your men need you alive. They care about you, General." He paused, pacing back and forth in the dark room. He came to a stand still by the foot of your bed, refusing to meet your gaze, as though he had something he wanted to say. Finally he took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"Oh kriff it." He snapped. "I care about you, damnit!" He shook his head and began to pace again, the anger returning to his visage.

"General Plo said you could've died." He spat. "He said that you had spread yourself so thin, used up so much energy that you could've killed yourself. Do you..." He cut himself off and took another breath, clenching his fists tightly. "Do you know what that would've done to this company. Do you know what that would've done to me!?"

There was fire in his eyes when he looked back up at you. "It would've killed me too."

You lay there in your bed staring at him - shocked at this outburst. What was he saying? That he cared for you? That he loved you? That he thought about you as much as you thought about him?

"I.." you began softly.

"No. I'm not done."

You shut your mouth.

"General, when you came back to camp covered in blood, I had to restrain myself from throwing you over my shoulder and taking you to medical myself. I knew something was wrong but I trusted that you knew what you were doing. It was the same when I saw you collapse yesterday. It took everything in me not to race to your side."

He shook his head, disappointed in himself, and angry with you. "I should be holding the line with my men, not babysitting my General!"

You stared blankly ahead, letting his anger wash over you. So that's how he saw you. That solves one problem, you tried to convince yourself. It was good that he didn't reciprocate your feelings. That made it easier to cleanse yourself of any feeling of attachment. But then why didn't hurt so bad? Why did it feel like a part of your soul had been sawed away? Wasn't letting go of your emotions supposed to bring you peace? This crushing weight of disappointment and heartbreak was anything but peace.

The room was quiet save for the beeps and whirs of the medical equipment around you. The silence felt deafening. Then finally Wolffe let out a sigh.

"I'm....sorry..." The words dragged themselves reluctantly from his mouth.

You didn't respond.

The bed buckled slightly as Wolffe sat down on the edge. He tentatively rested a hand gently on your back, expecting you to recoil or stiffen under his touch. His eyebrows shot up in surprise as you leaned into his touch instead.

He sighed, rolling his neck. "Look," he began awkwardly. "I'm not good at this kind of thing so I'm just going to be honest with you. I..." He stopped. You turned your face towards his. He took a breathe, not daring to make eye contact. "I think I'm in love with you. Kriff. No, I know I'm in love with you."

You gasped, the dam broke and tears began to stream down your face.

Wolffe jumped up, startled and clearly embarrassed. "I...I mean... I... I didn't mean..." The normally confident Commander stumbled over his words in a shameful horror.

"No," you sobbed. You felt so relieved. Everything felt right again. "You didn't do anything wrong." He looked down at you, eybrows knitted upwards in confusion. "Then why..." He motioned to your tearful face.

"Because I love you too and I was afraid that you hated me. I was afraid that everyone would see me as a terrible General. And also my everything hurts and..." you sobbed, "...and I love you so much."

Wolffe looked down at you with amusement and a strange softness took hold of his features - a foreign look for his usually serious demeanor.

"You look nice when you smile," you whispered with a small grin. "But you can go back to frowning if that's more comfortable for you."

Wolffe rolled his eyes as he settled down in a chair beside your bed. "You should get some sleep, General." Back to his serious old self again but he kept that twinkle in his eye. Only for you. he thought.

"I'll be right here when you wake up."

--------------------------------------------------

@zoeykallus @ttzamara @nahoney22 @merkitty49 @viva-la-whump @agenteliix @dumpsters-little-matchbook @nekotaetae @ladykatakuri @loverofclones @heyitsaloy @padawancat97 @jambolska-grozdova @flyingkangaroo @melymigo @rain-on-kamino @jiabeewrites @my-own-oracle @dragonrider9905 @queenofspades6 @ordinarylokix @jupitersaturnapollo @queencousland101 @vampirerouge

If you want to be on my taglist, feel free to send me a message! Also, asks are open! Reblogging is very much encouraged and it makes me do a happy dance every time any of my writing gets reblogged 😂❤️

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shinestarhwaa · 7 months

Text

RUBY PT2 || CHOI SAN

Read part 1 here

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Rockstar!San x Fan!Fem reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Tags/warnings: sex drugs & rock n roll life, alcohol, unprotected sex, smoking (joints), dacryphilia, oral sex, fingering, namecalling (whore,slut), squirting, rough sex, Loud sex, overstimulation, breeding kink, cum eating, masturbation (kind of??), split second of a handjob, doggy style, bit of biting, bit of fingersucking cuz San loves it

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @lemonhongjoong @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @glintneon123

ENJOY!

You wandered the streets of Paris late at night. You had just landed in the city and taken a cab to Le Marais, where your hotel was located. You checked into your room first, but decided to go out for the night.

Tomorrow was the night of King Ruby's concert in Paris and San had asked you to be there. You couldn't help but wonder if he would remember you or would've moved on immediately. Knowing his lifestyle he might've fucked ten other people in the meantime.

You remembered the way his fingertips grazed your thigh, the way you licked across his chest, the way he pumped you full of his seeds. You couldn't remember everything as you had gotten so drunk on champagne you must've blacked out.

The past two weeks had been awful, you couldn't possibly get him out of your head. You had been so horny but you couldn't statisfy yourself the way he had. Even now you were finally in your beautiful hotel bed, ready to play with yourself again. It wasn't good enough. It wasn't San. You were kind of worried he ruined your sexlife forever.

At the night of the concert you were filled with joy, worry and a raging libido. You didn't have tickets, but you got dolled up anyway, planning on staying near the concert hall to spot your one-time-lover.

Your eyes were smokey and glittery, black dress short and revealing. Daring. You wore high leather boots with high heels on them, making you look even more desirable than ever.

You waited near the venue for a while, trying to find San after the show but no luck. You ordered a cab back to your hotel as it was too far to walk. You paid the driver and got out of the car, noticing a man standing in front of the hotel.

San.

You got closer as you watched him turn around, a huge smirk plastered on his face. He took off his beanie, revealing his bright red hair. You had seen his new coupe online, but he looked even better in real life. "Missed me, star-girl?" He asked as he got close, running his fingers through your hair, his other hand holding a joint.

"How... How did you find me?" You asked as your hands ran over his chest. "You posted a picture on your socials... You know you really should not post that stuff, someone could see it and come up to you to do really bad things to you..."

"Well, maybe you should protect me then, or... did you come to do bad things to me?" You teased. "After I've smoked this big boy, I plan on ravishing you, my pretty Ruby," San smirked, taking another puff of his joint.

"So you remembered?" You asked. "How could I forget?" San answered, hand grazing your hip slightly, feeling the fabric of your dress on his skin. "You kinda ruined my lipstick with writing on the mirror," you grinned. "I bought you new ones," San said as he grabbed a little bag from the pocket of his jacket.

He handed it over to you, making you curious to see if he got the right one. To your surprise there was the exact same one in there, but also two similar ones. "Three?" You asked, raising your eyebrow. "Well I found the one you used but I thought the others might look nice on those lovely lips of yours. But don't use it tonight, it'd get so ruined. Or maybe... Put it on so I can see how messy you get."

A blush striked your cheeks as you remembered the mess on your face in Amsterdam, two weeks ago. You were certain you'd have black tears running down your cheeks tonight and it made you wet in anticipation.

You took a little handmirror from your purse and put the darkred lipstick on. "How does it look?" You asked. San smiled, admiring your face as he gently cupped your cheek. "Like a perfect doll, my Ruby."

"This one doesn't really smudge though," you said, looking at the packaging. "It will if I'm rough enough." Your heart and pussy seemed to flutter at the same time. San finally finished his joint and threw it away. "Let's go inside then, shall we?"

You entered your hotelroom, still feeling the handprint of the bandmember on your ass. He couldn't get his hands off you all the time you were trying to get to your room. San pushed you down on the bed, landing on top of you himself.

San's hand slid under your dress, pushing your panties to the side and slipping his fingertips through your wet folds. His lips attacked your neck as he toyed with your clit, making you arch your back.

"O-oppa~" you moaned out, sounds muffled by San's tongue entering your mouth. The kiss was wet, messy and sloppy, lipstick smearing everywhere. He grunted as he looked at you. "My pretty little doll, for me to ruin."

San slipped off your panties as you lifted your dress over your head, dropping it to the floor. His mouth grazed over your breasts, tongue circling your nipples. "Fuck, San, I've missed your mouth so much," you whined softly.

"Yeah, babydoll? Missed me?" "Yeah... Nothing and no one makes me feel as good as you." San smirked as his fingers slid through your folds again, spreading your wetness. "Please," you begged him.

''Okay, sweetie, it's okay, I'll make you cum so many times you'll forget your name,'' he grunted as his clothed crotch rutted against your thigh, trying to get some friction. San pushed two of his thick fingers into your throbbing cunt. You cried out his name when he pumped them inside you, curling them slightly to find your g-spot.

''My precious Ruby, you're so gorgeous like this, my little whore,'' he smirked, fucking his fingers into your sopping cunt, ''So ready, everytime.'' ''So fucking ready for you, always, for you,'' you whined as he repeatedly hit your g-spot.

''Fuck, yes!'' You moaned out, body squirming beneath him. ''Feeling good, babygirl? You love my fingers in your cunt, don't you?'' "Oh god I love your fingers so much, San!"

Your moans grew louder gradually until you could barely breathe, the stimulation of San's fingers becoming too much, causing an mind-shattering orgasm. Your loud pants must've been heard throughout the entire hotel as you squirted on his hand. San only worked harder, overstimulating your precious, sensitive cunt.

"Please, San, i-it's too much, Please!" You begged and begged as you felt sweat collect on your forehead and the valley between your breasts, where you felt his hot tongue on your skin.

San didn't listen for a single second as he continued to pump his thick fingers into your cunt, his thumb still playing with your clit, making your body shake.

It didn't take long before you felt the familiar tightness in your abdomen again and yet again you came hard, juices flowing out of you. "Good gracious baby you're so fucking slutty for me, look at that, coming all over my fucking hand? My slut...," he grunted as he finally rode out your orgasms.

Tears formed in your eyes as your hips moved against his hand. "Oh? I thought you were begging me to stop, princess," he smirked, rubbing your clit between his index-finger and thumb.

"I-I- Yes, please," you whined. "Hmm, your body is moving on it's own baby, it's definitely disagreeing with your words." "C-cock, g-give me...your cock," you breathed out as he licked your nipples.

Three of his fingers found their way back into your cunt, the squelching noise making his length hard as a rock. "S-San, San, San!"

Tears flowed from your eyes as his fingers pumped inside you. Your back arched and your legs trembled as he pleasured your sensitive pussy. "San, please, it's too much!" You cried. Your arousal gushed out of you as you squirted again, your orgasm making you moan louder than ever.

He really stopped this time, wiping your tears away from your face. "Such a messy baby," he cooed. "Open up," The rockstar said as he undressed and positioned himself above you. Your mouth opened and San slid his big cock in.

San fucked your throat and enjoyed all the gagging sounds coming from your throat. His balls were in your face but it couldn't even bother you, because it was San. It was San. He used you like a fucktoy and you didn't want it any other way.

You had trouble breathing through your nose but you didn't want it to end, loving the way San was moaning and grunting because of you.

"Yes, baby, my beautiful fucking Ruby," he grunted as he pulled his cock out, hovering his balls over your mouth now. You sucked and licked at them as San jerked his cock off.

Soon enough San's dick was pulsating, twitching as he came loudly, squirting his sperm all over your tits and stomach. He panted out and got off you, admiring your cum-stained body.

San was dragging his tongue all over your torso, licking every drop of sweat and cum off your body. He kissed you passionately and you tasted the salty mixture on his tongue. You moaned into his mouth as he groped your breasts, fingers playing with your sensitive nipples.

You broke off the kiss and panted, "Please fuck me now, I cannot wait any longer." Your hand reached for his cock, pumping it slowly so he'd be fully hard again for you.

"Yeah baby, I'm gonna fuck you so hard, so full," he groaned. He flipped you over and you propped yourself up on your knees and elbows, ass up in the air. San smirked as he watched you prepare yourself for him. He reached in the pocket of his jeans, pulling out another joint and a lighter.

He positioned himself behind you as he lighted up his joint. The male pushed his dick into your awaiting hole, filling it all the way, balls deep. You let out a long moan as you felt your body heaten up.

The strokes of San's hips were long and slow, making you yearn for it more and more. "Please, harder, harder," you whined. San smirked as he smoked his joint, the smoke clouding his brain. His hips moved faster and harder, pounding his cock into you.

You whined as he repeatedly hit your g-spot. The way his cock twitched inside you every now and then made your eyes roll back. You feel your elbows get weaker as San's thrusts get more aggressive. His body leans over yours and the smoke of the joint intrudes your nostrils. You take the joint from between his fingers and take a few puffs yourself.

San smirked as he bit the sensitive skin in your neck as he held you in his embrace. You moaned loudly as you felt him pound you in a way you never felt before.

"Yes! God, yes," you moaned as you passed the joint back to the male. He finished smoking it as he kept pounding you. You felt yourself getting closer and closer to another orgasm, your breath picking up. "Yes! Gonna cum!" You cried out as his hands groped your ass. "Good girl, cum on my cock, fucking clench on it, beautiful Ruby," he moaned.

You moaned loudly and came hard, you swore you nearly saw stars - How ironic. San kept pistoning his cock in and out of you at an inhumane speed, chasing his own orgasm. You were crying out his name over and over, feeling so sensitive after your orgasm.

"Gonna fill you up baby, you're gonna take it, right? My precious Ruby's gonna take my fucking cum, fucking all of it," he moaned, speech somewhat slurred. "Yes! Pump me full San, breed me, put it all in me!"

"That's right baby, take it, yeah, fucking take it," he grunted as his thrusts got sloppier, which told you he was about to cum. You felt two of his fingers in your mouth and you sucked on them as he came hard, deep inside you, letting out an animalistic groan.

He pulled out of you, admiring your cunt stuffed with his cum. He laid next to you and panted. The two of you looked at each other but didn't have to say a thing. Right when you wanted to say something you noticed him drift off to sleep. You grinned and grabbed your polaroid camera, taking a few pictures for him to take on tour, so he could admire the mess you were when he was away.

Just in case you wouldn't see him again.

#kpop #ateez #smut #san #choi san #san x reader #shinestarhwaa #rockstar!san

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birdofprey1234 · 2 months

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Hello all. In case you've been unaware, recently tumblr has begun rolling out a partnership with Midjourney to scrape the entire website and its users' posts for their AI training. This includes peoples art, and probably also writing and photography. Anything you've posted the company may use for training, and you are opted IN by default.

Obviously this blog has been inactive for quite a while now, and no new art has been or will be posted here, but this puts me in a difficult position. I'm not sure exactly what I'm gonna do with this blog from here on. Some people have recommended editing posts to put a glaze filter over old art so that it's unusable, but I have many hundreds of posts, not all of which are tagged, and I'm unsure whether the AI training has already gotten a hold of them or not, making the potential filter useless. Not to mention the reblogs that already exist of the old un-glazed artwork.

I considered deleting everything, maybe even the blog itself, but that idea...sucks. I like the idea and the feeling that though I'm not active, my art is still out in the fandom tags somewhere, and that I have had an effect on the fandoms I was in and shared my art with. And again, the reblogs still exist, so I'm not sure what that would mean in terms of AI scraping. My worry is that deleting my blog would only relinquish any control I do have of what is done with my art.

As it is I'm kind of at a standstill. I was recently thinking over sharing my art again on other blogs, since I do miss being a part of that creative space. But now this change has kind of crushed that idea entirely. All this, plus the extreme transmisogyny apocalypse happening on here in the last month, and the seeming silencing of important movement tags like palestine, it really makes me want to ditch tumblr altogether. I've seen many people considering switching platforms. There's been a lot of markiplier mutuals specifically who have encouraged me to join cohost, I also have seen pillowfort as an option for others. But those platforms are new, kind of janky and will be hard to get used to for me. Plus, idk if I'm using them wrong but there's like...11 posts in each tag that I've seen so far, which kind of kills the feeling of being a part of a big open fan community I really love. Cohost seems like a nice platform, but if only 30-35 people move over, then it's really going to be a moot point. I wanna be where everyone else in the fandom is. I worry that this mass migration will only splinter communities, as we're all going to different places. I don't want to make 500 accounts on different platforms just to stay active and feel aware in the community.

My entire online social life up to this point has basically been on tumblr, I have a lot of blogs with a LOT of memories attached to them, and it would hurt to just drop them and move away.

Overall I'm at a loss. I enjoy sharing my work, my ideas and thoughts, I like being a part of these creative communities. But it seems like everyday the online space becomes more and more hostile toward creatives and fans, and much more advertiser friendly. One thing i never ever wanted to happen was for my art to be used for AI, and I naively thought that tumblr would be safe in that way. Guess not. I sometimes wonder if eventually all large social media will crash down and The People will dedicate to going back to personal websites and forums. I would enjoy a space where I could share my art on my own terms, and not have other peoples interaction with it overshadow everything else.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. For now I will be staying on tumblr until I figure it out, but definitely no more posting creatively. I want to try to keep my work up if I can. I would recommend on all your blogs going to settings and toggling ON "prevent third-party sharing for this blog", as that will let tumblr know you wish your work, including reblogs of it to be excluded from the scraping. I'm unsure how actually useful this will be, or how much the company will respect these wishes but. It's there. I would also love for you to come talk with me @boobookiss and, hey, maybe make a cohost account. I'm on there as boobookiss as well. I hope to keep touch with you all and see this little community stay together.

#markiplier #markiplier egos #myposts #ok to rb

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youthinluv · 5 months

Text

zb1 as songs in my playlists (fluff edition)

pairing ; zb1 x reader genre ; fluff tags + warnings ; fluff, established relationship, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, confessions, non idol! aus, college au, highschool au, cafe au, brother's bestfriend au, petnames and tiny bit of angst in ricky's part if u squint, idk what else author's note ; i may or may not have gotten carried away with hanbin's part a little because too many ideas came while i was writing it so expect a full expansion of the drabble in like. a month or two LMAO 😭 enjoy though!

kim jiwoong — 何なんw - fujii kaze "…Don’t you say you didn’t wanna know it. I love you all the same, all the time. Though I’m here with you through thick and thin. You can’t see me, you ignore me, because I’m too close to you" The sun shone through the curtains hitting your face. Reluctantly, you open your eyes to be greeted with an empty space next to you.

Confused, you get up and walk out of the room and into the living to be met with the wafting smell of pancakes, soft music playing and Jiwoong behind the counters in the kitchen.

As he turns around, he gets caught by surprise seeing you awake. "Oh, good morning. You're awake already?" he asks and you nod as you walk over to the dining table where the food had been spread out.

He pouts at this, "I wanted to wake you up with breakfast in bed, but you got up earlier than I expected."

"Well you can blame the sunlight for that." you giggle, and Jiwoong's face lifts into a smile as he watches you.

"Happy 5th to us, love." he places a soft kiss on your cheek. Smiling, you look up to him and return the greeting. "Happy 5th to us indeed."

Comfortable silence settled afterwards as the song continued playing in the background.

"The regrets that made you learn a lot can be easily forgotten by living everyday life. With a fresh and empty resolve in your heart." the artist sang and you couldn't help internally agree with it, finding peace with the everyday life you've shared with Jiwoong all these years.

———

zhang hao — my eyes adored you - fujii kaze cover (original by frankie valli) "My eyes adored you. Though I never laid a hand on you, my eyes adored you. Like a million miles away from me, you couldn't see how I adored you. So close, so close and yet so far." Zhanghao was a good friend in your college department. He was wildly popular depsite being somewhat oblivious to this. And because of that, you've hidden your feelings for him thinking he wouldn't reciprocrate. In other words, he was so close and yet so far from your reach.

What you didn't know was that he reciprocated the feelings as well, and though he had many chasing after him, he had his eyes on you and only you.

And so, when Valentines came around and he was set to perform on stage for the event, he was really keen on having you watch.

On stage, he was searching for you in the midst of the crowd. When you two locked eyes, he smiled. Finally he could make his feelings clear to you and everyone else. Before his performance started, he was given time for a ment and he took advantage of this.

"I'd like to greet everyone a happy Valentines," Zhanghao greeted. "and although I've gotten many confessions today, I'd like to apologize as my heart and eyes are already set on someone else." he continued and you could hear cooing and disappointed sighs amongst the crowd.

You were ready to accept defeat when he finished up his ment. "And so, Y/N L/N, I hope you can accept my feelings for you."

The crowd cheered and the lights dimmed. Your senses blocked out everything and you carefully watched him in disbelief, wondering if this was a prank or not.

However, as he sang and carried out his performance, he stayed true to his words and only had his eyes on you all throughout his time on stage.

———

sung hanbin — fallen - lola amour "What if I told you that I've fallen, and I like the way you say my name? My heart skips a beat when I hear you calling and I like that it won't go away." You've become a regular at this small cafe soon after discovering it. Sure, the food and drinks were good, but that's not what you were here for. You carefully watched the barista make the drinks and place your order on the counter. Yeah. The cute barista was your main reason.

"Order for Y/N!" he calls out. The way he said your name always made your heart skip a beat. Hearing it roll of his tongue easily made the rest of your day better, so it didn't take much for you to become a regular.

You quickly stand up to collect your order, smiling at him as you approached the counter. "Thank you, Hanbin."

"Anytime. It's good to see you enjoyed the food." he smiled. As he was about to turn around, you called out for him, unsure of what took over you. "Hey, Hanbin!"

He hummed in response.

"Um... are you free this Saturday? We should hang out, or, something." you can feel your face burning up in embarrassment.

"Ah, yeah, I think I'm free that day. We should totally hang out then!" he replied, knowing he full well that he was—in fact—not free that day and he was willing to drop everything and clear his schedule for you.

"Really? Well, I think we can discuss the details when I swing by again tomorrow—"

"Oh, there's no need for that." he interrupted, writing something on a napkin before either one of you finished. "Here's my number, you can contact me here." he continued, handing you the napkin.

You take it, flustered and unable to say anything else. "I'll see you Saturday, then?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'll just send you a message here." you smile shyly at him.

"Great! It's a date then." he smiles back.

———

seok matthew — daydreamin' - ariana grande "It's the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you make me feel inside. It's in your smile, it's in your eyes I don't wanna wait for tonight. So I'm daydreamin' with my chin in the palm of my hands about you. You, and only you." Matthew was your older brother's best friend. He frequented your house, so you saw each other more often than not.

What stuck to you was how he treated you like his other friends, and he was nice about it. He seemed to make you comfortable the most amongst your brother's other friends despite the one year age gap.

Eventually, you developed feelings for him and you tried to hide it as much as possible, especially from your brother of all people.

But is it really your fault if you couldn't help blush whenever Matthew smiled at you, or act all awkward around him all of a sudden?

You also noticed that Matthew started coming around almost every day, and tried interacting with you as much as he could.

One night, your brother plopped next to you after seeing off Matthew. Wasting no time, he looked at you and bluntly said, "You like Matthew, don't you?"

With the way he caught you off guard, you couldn't even cover your face and mask your reaction.

"Please don't tell him!" you desperately plea, and your brother pulls away from you.

"Woah, chill. I won't. Besides, why do you think he's been coming around more often lately?"

———

kim taerae — melting - kali uchis "You've got some soft lips and some pearly whites, I wanna touch them in the dead of night. Your smile ignites just like a candlelight. Then somehow, I know everything's alright. Melting like an ice cream when you smile." You couldn't help but stare at Taerae as he laughed at Jiwoong's joke, a small smile forming on your lips as well as you see his dimples.

You couldn't thank the gods any more for making him extra smiley today, it made you feel better as well. You always loved it when Taerae smiled. It was contagious and you found it endearing, especially when you spot his dimples.

The conversation drifted to something else and he eventually caught you staring. "What? Is there something on my face?" he asks, and you giggled at him.

"Mmm, it's nothing, don't worry." you replied. "That doesn't sound very reassuring..." he pouts.

"I promise!" you protest, and his eyebrows furrow at this. "What, so you were just staring at me?"

You pause for a second. "...Maybe."

"Oh." Taerae lets out, the tips of his ear slowly turning red and you put your hands up in fake surrender.

"Sorry, couldn't help it. You know how I always melt like an ice cream when you smile."

His expression morphs into a sheepish smile as you engage in a conversation with the others to play off the situation, glancing at Taerae as he smiles to himself at your compliments.

———

shen ricky — for you - leehi ft. crush "Listen to me I am the man that you've been waiting for. Would you push the button that you've been looking for. With just one kiss, you're gonna need it more. Baby, I could give you what you want." Relationship after relationship, you were starting to doubt yourself after all the ones you were in turned out awful. Your self-esteem dropped for a while and you were close to swearing off on getting into relationships and dating.

That was until Ricky came into your life and made everything better for you.

He treated you better than you ever, reassuring and spoiling you as much as he possibly could. Sometimes, it makes you question whether or not you really deserve it.

"Hey, let's go out tomorrow night, my treat." Ricky suggests.

"Again?" your eyebrows furrow at him, "Didn't we already go out last night though?"

He stops in his tracks, slightly confused. "Oh uh, did you not want to...?" he pouts, making you panic.

"No! It's not that, I love spending time with you. It's just that... I'm worried you're doing too much for me."

Ricky looks at you incredulously, scoffing before placing a small kiss on the top of your head. "Baby, nothing's ever too much when it comes to you." he pulls away, booping your nose. "I could give you what you want, and it's what you deserve. Okay?"

He looks at you in a jokingly stern manner, which makes you giggle and nod.

"It's your turn to pick where we're eating tomorrow."

"Huh? Didn't I already pick last time though?"

"Shhhhh...."

———

kim gyuvin — say yes - ben & tan "I think my heart is beating me to death. I have got an arrow through my chest. I am so in love, so just say yes." "Y/N, I like you. Please accept my feelings and be mine!" You look at Gyuvin who stood flustered in front of you. Bewildered and surprised that he harbored feelings for you as well.

After giving it some thought, you smile at him. "Okay, I'll give you a chance on one condition." He nods, willing to do anything.

"I'll let you pursue me first. Then, I'll give you my final answer."

And so, weeks after that he's put in the effort to treat you the best he could, as if you two were already in a real relationship.

Gyuvin took you on dates, walked you home, gave you gifts and constantly looked out for you. He also took note of what you liked and disliked, bought things that reminded him of you, and acted like your actual boyfriend as a whole.

You found it endearing to see how much effort he was willing to put in, even though it was no guarantee on his part. In short, he was willing to do anything and everything for you, even if you didn't ask him to, and would do so without asking for anything in return.

To be fair, even if you liked him back, you wanted to test the waters with him first to make sure you were going to make the right choice.

And so, one day as you were walking home, you finally decide to give him an answer.

"Gyuvin... I feel like it's best if you should stop pursuing me." You start, feeling a little bad at how his face dropped.

"W—what? Why?" he stutters, quickly trying to calm himself.

"Why would you still pursue me if you're already my boyfriend?" You continue, putting a hand on your hip as a smile slowly formed on your lips, watching him figure out what you meant.

"Wait so... thats a yes?" Gyuvin sounded surprised and you smiled. "Mhm! It's a yes! I'll be yours."

You let out a yelp as he lifts and spins you around, and you two were giggling fits all the way home.

———

park gunwook — peaches - kai "Pretty girl, you're likе peaches. It's a soft embracе. A sweetness that spreads in my mouth. Feels good to be the bad guy" Park Gunwook always kept to himself. Despite his achievements in the debate club, dance club and as a member of his school's student council, he wasn't very popular due to his 'intimidating look' and he was fully aware of this. Not that he minded, of course.

When a new student was enrolled, he was assigned to show them around. He made sure he'd make them feel welcomed in hopes he wouldn't scare them off.

"Gunwook, the new student is here." A faculty member called out and he stepped inside the room to be met with them.

"Oh! Hello, I'm Y/N L/N. It's nice to meet you, I hope we can get along well. Please take care of me!" you bowed whilst introducing yourself.

"It's nice to meet you as well, Y/N. I'm Gunwook. Please, no need to be so formal and tense around me. We're in the same grade, after all."

You nodded and the school tour started. To Gunwook's surprise, you got along well with him and showed no signs of being intimidated of him. It was quite refreshing for him to be able to talk to a peer without them feeling like they were constantly walking on eggshells around him.

Eventually, days turned into weeks, which turned into months and you two became close friends.

"You know, I'm kinda glad you never found me intimidating." he starts as you two sat at lunch.

"Hm? What do you mean?" you shoot him a confused look and he continues. "People don't normally approach me because they think I'm scary."

This time, you look at him, baffled. "You? Scary? Really? I never really got that from you...."

He bursts out laughing and the topic quickly dies down. While you both sat at lunch in silence, he couldn't help but admire your features.

Gunwook always noticed how you had soft features, which was a stark contrast to his. He then realized why some people are surprised to see you two together.

"Have I ever told you how pretty you are?" Gunwook breaks the silence and you stop midway of a bite. "H-Huh?"

"You're really pretty." he repeats, making you even more flustered.

As the teasing continues, Gunwook silently wishes that things would change for the better. To him, your presence always felt like a soft embrace.

———

han yujin — can't stop - stray kids (seungmin, i.n) "I think I like you. Even I can tell when I look at myself. It is to the point that it is too obvious. I must want you so much no matter whatever I do, I can't escape it. I must like you a lot" The sun was setting, and after a long day out with friends, you and Yujin were left alone.

You two watched the sunset on a building's rooftop in silence—save for some music playing—and Yujin turns to look at you.

He couldn't help but admire how the sun shone on your skin, dying it an orange tone and how the light hit your eyes at a perfect angle, making them more beautiful than he ever thought.

He admired how the wind blew through your hair and the light made it look a shade lighter than it actually was.

"You're staring." you break the silence. He blushes and looks away. "I'm sorry."

Yujin had been in denial for the longest time now. He didn't want to admit that he harbored feelings for you, even to himself.

But despite that, it's become painfully obvious to his circle of friends. Even he can tell when he looks at himself. It's to the point that it is too obvious

"Is something on your mind?" you ask, and he turns to face you again.

'Your eyes probably have seen it all. Why did I pretend I didn't like you? Just the way they are, I'll express my feelings to you'. He thought to himself, taking a deep breath.

"I think I like you." Yujin blurts out. He carefully watches for your reaction as your expression seems to morph into a pleasantly surprised one. A smile instantly blossomed on your lips. "Really?"

"Yeah..." he looks embarrassed and you couldn't help laugh but at this. "Don't worry, I like you too." you reply.

You two fall into silence, staring at each other as the song playing comes to an end. "I (I) can't (can't) stop (stop) falling in love with you!"

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supanuts · 27 days

Note

i saw that you're currently reading my stand-in novel but you're not really spoiling anything. how are you finding it so far if i may ask? is it as angsty as people say it is?

(i waited until the end of the day to answer this because as i thought i've already finished the novel, so much for self-restraint lol also sorry this got a bit long... oops?)

i enjoyed it a lot! and it made me get over my reading slump, so i will even excuse it getting into some tropes i'm not particularly fond of at the end. it got cheesy…er, and not even in a way i like. amazingly, that didn't make me like it any less.

from the synopsis of the series and the tags in novel updates (and i only skimmed those because i didn't want to get spoiled) i had a pretty good idea of what the novel was going to be like, which is why i decided not to really liveblog since, transmigration aside, i'd say it's a pretty straightforward story. i could be persuaded to make a recap if there's interest though, since there's still over three weeks left until the series starts airing and i'm probably going to go over everything again and take notes anyway...

and oh, is it angsty! the whole thing hinges on zhou xiang (joe) being a sweet angel baby and yan mingxiu (ming) being a fucking idiot, and it's pretty much what you can expect from any dogblood/makjang with the scum ml, misunderstandings, heartbreak, regrets, etc. i have to say i'm not usually a fan of the misunderstanding trope bc i tend to find it annoying, but as with most tropes i don't particularly enjoy it's because of the way i often see it done. here it was painful for everyone involved, so i really liked it. also, please keep in mind that i'm a huge fan of big character development and characters redeeming themselves, so. there's that. wink wonk. (i've been reading some reviews and think for some people it may be best to know what kind of story this is before going in, other than because of triggers–which, very important if you need them, at least in the novel–because of the whole. scum ml more than anything lol even though yan mingxiu is not that scummy really!)

i love my stories character-driven, so having them being this well fleshed out and compelling was a joy, and being able to see so clearly what both zhou xiang and yan mingxiu were thinking and feeling, sometimes a lot earlier than they themselves could (please bl gods keep at least some of the internal monologue in the series, i am begging), was soooooo ugh. you're supposed to hate yan mingxiu allegedly but i just couldn't, not even in his scum era, because he was so obvious and so oblivious and so set in his own ideas he kept gaslighting himself into not noticing things. this could have gotten frustrating pretty easily, but again, everything feed into the delicious, delicious suffering. that being said, and because it doesn't seem to be a popular opinion... i think it's important to empathise with both of them, or at least sympathise, for maximum enjoyment of all that angst. you cannot cry over yan mingxiu's pain if you want him to get hit by a bus.

oh and the relationships (not only the cp's, though their progression is really good) are very important in this story, which is something i hope we get to see more of in the series because i ended up missing certain side characters in the later chapters. not tan yin though, i hope that fuck ass didn't make it into the series. how is a character so annoying while being in maybe six scenes total.

i can't say if it's good or not but it was extremely enjoyable, zhou xiang is my sweet darling angel baby, yan mingxiu is okay too (if you see me in the trenches defending him in about a month…), and i can't believe i am now, somehow, even more excited for my stand-in.

#professional body double #my stand in #my stand in the series #asks #anon #didn't get into any specifics bc everything i would have said is a spoiler yippee #so yeah i didn't want to spoil anything so this is kinda . but feel free to ask anything!#my fav character is zhou xiang my fav character development is also zhou xiang's #again not to spoil but: aaaa #tan yin can come if he gets reworked to hell and back and kisses lan xirong btw #i have a weirdly specific wishlist for him now #and by 'him' i mean lan xirong

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kindestofkings · 5 months

Text

never go out of style

josh jenkinson x stylist! reader

authors note: I had loads of fun with this one! this one is for the josh girlies. also its so fluffy, as all my stuff is, life is sad enough so my fics will probs always be soft lol !

bryantartists

liked by harry_lambert and others

bryantartists we just wanted to re-introduce our wonderful SENIOR stylist. yourusername has diligently carved out her place in our team, harry_lambert's prodigy is stepping into her rightful place!

Her work ranges from musicians to actors, and we're just as excited to see what she gets up to !!

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yourusername such a pinch me moment !

harry_lambert the hardest of workers

yourusername never a hard task working for you <33

1975fan1 omg is she still working with matty? I miss those outfits

1975fan2 fr the part of the band outfits where so dark.. yourusername heya lovelies I'm not currently working with sir healy for the up and coming album! we are friends tho so if things get too dreadful I'll step in xx trumanblack too dreadful wtf is this..

yourusername

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

yourusername incase you dont follow bryantartists, I've been PROMOTED! they did a truly lovely post featuring some of my clients but I had to note my love for the boys who to a risk on a no name stylist who was looking for her first client. inhalerdublin a girl never forgets her first 🤠 (@eli please give the leather jacket a rest some more xx )

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joshjenkinson_ thanks for making us look cool

yourusername its easy making the cool cooler 🫶

ryanmcmahon_15 too big for us now 💔

yourusername for you ryan NEVER bobbyskeetz fr we do not have the budget for you anymore.. yourusername I tell you to drop the trackies for free EVERYDAY

elijahhewson you'll have to pry that leather jacket out of my cold dead hands.

yourusername you MANchild inhalerfan1 dont fix whats not broken I say

yourusername posted to their story!

replies:

elijahhewson now why do I also feel targeted by this 1975fan1 please please date him!

trumanblack posted to their story!

replies:

yourusername I know I made this and practically forced you to post this, but thank you hahaha yourusername I didnt think far enough ahead tho cause all your fans think we're dating 😭😭 trumanblack ouch what does the secret boyfriend think of that? also you're not my type sorry love xxx yourusername 🙄🙄

inhalerdublin

liked by yourusername and others

inhalerdublin we are back to work and yourusername has removed all leather jackets from the premises... the withdrawl symptoms are kicking in.

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yourusername MWHAHAHHAHAHAH

yourusername inhaler girlies bare with me, it'll be worth it I promise !!

inhalerfan1 I'm so obsessed with you, I'll do anything you say.

elijahhewson really regret hiring her again

joshjenkinson_ I dont bobbyskeetz oh well we all know you dont joshie 😏 joshjenkinson_ literally stfu inhalerfan2 ooohhh now what is this

inhalerdublin

liked by harry_lambert and others

inhalerdublin love will get you there. link in bio.

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inhalerfan1 people died.

inhalerfan2 🤯🤯

inhalerfan3 sooooo excited omg

bryantartists

liked by yourusername and others

bryantartists inhalerdublin for british gq styled by yourusername !

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inhalerdublin wow are we cool...?

yourusername the boys killed it as per 🔥🔥

yourusername joshjenkinson_ you are lucky you're so cool or I'd be more annoyed about the leather...

joshjenkinson_ I feel so special <;3 bobbyskeetz what about me am I cool too?yourusername hahahaha robert don't make me laugh!!

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername a gift for the inhaler girlies !! so I usually get my clients to send me pics of their outfits, for the portfolio and what not. but the lads pics have gotten increasingly more dramatic over time, so I guess enjoy ? 🤷

tagged: inhalerdublin

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inhalerfan1 you are the peoples princess thank you

inhalerfan2 josh looks so cute in the second pic awwww

yourusername stop I know he can do it all, cause look at the serve in the third pic!! inhalerfan2hahahah OMG hi! I love that you're a secret josh girlie bobbyskeetz nothing secret about you being a josh girlie yourusername for once in your life SHUSHH

bobbyskeetz feel like you could appreciate these masterpieces more

(liked by elijahhewson, ryanmcmahon_15 and others)

joshjenkinson_ (private)

liked by yourusername and others

joshjenkinson_ glastonbury bits.

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bobbyskeetz now when oh when did you see our favourite stylist.....

ryanmcmahon_15 suspicious that it was kept a secret... elijahhewson huhhhh wonder why were we left out of this little rendezvous ?? bobbyskeetz care to comment sir jenkinson ??? joshjenkinson_ jesus cause you act like this 🙄

yourusername wowww i've made it to the insta :o

joshjenkinson_ is this what they consider a hardlaunch...? elijahhewson a HARDlaunch ?!?? yourusername the DRAMAtics

yourusername

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

yourusername later in the summer, I sit beside the sea

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harry_lambert well earned break, you never stop!!

yourusername says the one haha! pleasing, love on tour, zara collab, gucci editorials... the list goes on and on xx

elijahhewson huh good lyrics them

joshjenkinson_ whos picture are you looking at?

yourusername no picture needed I've real thing infront of me, which is wayyy better bobbyskeetz yall are sick

inhalerfan1 oh not my wife soft launching a MAN

inhalerfan2 omg imagine it was josh!!

inhalerfan3 so random wtf inhalerfan2 no hear me out! shes a self proclaimed josh girlie !!

inhalerfanclub

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

inhalerfanclub guys GUYS so I just thought id post these here incase some of you dont follow josh on twitter, BUT LOOK HE'S SOFTLAUNCHING A GIRL

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inhalerfan1 wow i dont know how to feel..

inhalerfan2 these photos are so delicate I cant

inhalerfanclub fr to be seen in this point of view ! a need!!

inhalerfan3 I am CONVINCED its yourusername, their recents are such similar vibes !!

inhalerfan1 wait no you're right inhalerfan2 and that dress is soooo something she'd wear, our stylish queen <3

yourusername

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

yourusername give it up for josh jenkinson (my fella !)

and my boyfriend's boyfriend (robert keating 🙄)

view all comments

joshjenkinson_ haha what happened to the soft launching

yourusername its no funnnn I've pictures to post god damn it ! joshjenkinson_ <333

bobbyskeetz oi whats with the full name

yourusername stop stealing my boyfriend and I'll stop using your full name 😤 bobbyskeetz no way I was here first yourusername but I'm WAYYY cuter bobbyskeetz and I have nicer hair !! yourusername damn I've been bested joshjenkinson_ I think you have beautiful hair love x bobbyskeetz thank you yourusername thanks love inhalerfan1 hahahah this is the best thing ever

inhalerfan3 ohh it feels so good to be right

trumanblack finally can the people stop shipping us now?

1975fan1 yeah we were so wrong, he's wayyy better for our mother yourusername ahahhaha imagine getting abuse from your own fanbase

-finished-

would LOVE to know you're thoughts! come chat about this fic or even ideas you have for my next one??

#josh jenkinson #josh jenkinson x reader #inhaler oneshots #inhaler band #inhaler imagine #inhaler fanfic #inhaler dublin

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ghostoffuturespast · 4 months

Text

Works In Progress 2023: A Cyberpunk 2077 Year In Review

I thought for a hot minute about doing one of those snazzy templates that’s been going around, but editing photos just ain’t my MO and rather than going by month I picked 12 favs that I’ve posted in 2023. Some of them were popular, some of them weren't. Overall, I think I did pretty good for just doing vanilla photomode on console.

You might be wondering why there's a picture of a sticky note. I don't remember when I started doing this, and I'm horribly inconsistent as you can see by the dates, but I'll jot down my word count for my wip chapter and then jot it down again when I remember to later.

I write slow. A lot of times I sit down to write and it feels like the wheels are spinning in place. My minutes and hours don't stretch very far, typically don't add up to much. But days, weeks, months. That's when I can at least measure the progress.

Fic: So It Goes 40/44 - 438,946 words

My V x River Ward and tinfoil hat conspiracy theory long fic. I've spent way more hours on this then I have on any of my VP.

I got tagged by @just-a-cybercroissant @therealnightcity and @wanderingaldecaldo to do some WIP Whenevers. I post my VP pretty regularly, so it’s always seemed silly to do work in progress posts for them, and I don’t know when I’ll have any new writing to share since in between work and the holidays, I haven’t had much time to sit down with anything since my last chapter update. And I've been feeling very... stingy, lately. Especially when it comes to mine and other people's writing. So take this WIP/Year In Review as my offering. Both these series, as am I, are all very much still works in progress.

I confined my reflections for this year below the cut. If you don’t want to read my long-ass essays, you can admire the pictures, maybe check out my fic, or just move along and have yourself a lovely day.

We’ll start with the easy one.

After at least a year of multiple playthroughs (I’ve played all the lifepaths, done all the endings), it only occurred to me at the beginning of this year to start taking VP. Part of the reason I never did before was because I didn’t realize it was a thing and then by the time I did, I figured I didn’t have much to offer. I play on PS5 and only have access to vanilla photomode, so seeing everyone else’s high-fidelity, ultra ray-tracing, modded, posed, full on virtual photo shoot photos, I was like there’s no way. (Not that I’m hating on PC modders, it’s just not everyone has access to mods or a PC capable of running the game, and I’m all for making art and creative endeavors accessible.) On top of that, all I’d ever heard from most other folks was how much vanilla photomode sucked. In the glamorous world of VP, I didn’t think there was any room for me.

But I started snapping pics anyway. And sure, there are a lot of limitations with vanilla photomode. But what that really translates to is opportunities to get creative. I am also a hoe for subverting people’s expectations, and very much believe when there’s a will, there’s a way.

Environmental and landscape shots were my first subjects before I started branching out into portraits and then capturing story moments. Through VP I found an entirely new way to enjoy a game that I’d already played a ridiculous number of times along with also finally being brave enough to share my V with other people too. I’d always worried about that before, if people would like her. Granted, I know Grandpa’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but whether you like her or not, I certainly think she’s made a name for herself over the past few months. Even if most people haven’t really gotten to know her the way I’d hoped.

I’ve taken hundreds of photos this past year. Most of which I’ll never share. There’s a lot of flops, a lot of weird experiments, ones that didn’t quite turn out the way I’d hoped, but I’ve learned something from every single one of them. I know how to spot good lighting, frame shots to create optical illusions, get a very limited toolkit to work in my favor, parkoured on all of the things, and heck, I even figured out how to make Grandpa smooch other NPCs. I’ve done atmospheric, mundane, down right goofy, as well as things that most people probably thought weren’t fucking possible.

I can’t say how long I’ll keep doing this, I’m sure I’ll move on at some point, but for now I’m still enjoying myself. There's a lot to explore in this game and I just can’t stop digging Night City.

Now, for the more complicated thing.

Writing

So It Goes… My peace, my war, my greedy and most ravenous of ghosts.

I’m operating under the assumption that most people following me here probably haven't read my fic or aren’t all that interested in reading it to begin with. It’s fine. But you need to understand this fic, my writing, is the main thing that brought me here. This is also Grandpa V’s story. Most of you have met her, but unless you've been reading, most of you do not know her.

I wrote around 185,000 words and posted 10 chapters this year. 2022 was about 253,000 words and 30 chapters, along with several unrelated one shots. However, I don’t think I’ve done a single chapter this year that was less then 10k, and my longest managed to hit 27k. As of the last update I posted, the fic is currently sitting at around 439k words, 40 chapters, and still isn’t done.

I have four more chapters to write. I have written a metric shit ton of words. This is, by far, the longest and most intense creative project I’ve ever endeavored to complete.

When I started writing, I was expecting this fic to be around 100-150k. That seemed to be the average for most long fics. I did not plan on being an outlier. I'm not sure you can ever really plan for that, but I guess I enjoy subverting my own expectations too.

For those of you who are reading my fic, it is my sincerest hope that it shatters every expectation of where you think it’s going. It’s not a joke that I tagged my fic “#an ode to my tinfoil hat”. An ode it has turned out to be. I’ve been sitting on this theory for two years. I have told no one about it. I hope it sticks the landing and hits the way I want it to. I don't know if it will. But fuck, I just want to be done with it so I can move on with my life, take a break, and give myself the opportunity to make and focus on other things before I have to get back on the damn horse.

I wrote less this past year then I did in 2022. I had a lot of life changes, most of which were good, but with times of change come times of adjustment. Along with some realizations that maybe you don’t understand as much as you thought you did. Looking back, I’ve been in a state of unsettled, kuzushi, for a really long time. Which is not a good place to be. It’s how your ass ends up on the ground with a knee knocking out all your teeth. I thought I knew better. Thought I had enough practice to get away from it. But bad habits have good memories.

I think given the circumstances, I accomplished a lot with my writing this year. I don’t know if my writing is exactly where I want it to be. I doubt it every will be, but it’s evolved, grown, and I wrote a pretty hefty stack of words considering I started working full-time again, bought a house with my partner, moved, and have been dealing with the millions of other beans that life tends to throw one’s way. That being said, and for full disclosure, I’ve also been dealing with some of the worst cases of jealousy and envy I’ve had since I was a teenager.

Frankly, it sucks. They walk with me every fucking where I go, hold my hands to whisper back all my doubts. Try to persuade me to my baser instincts, to be cruel and lash out. But that's not aikido. Luckily, I’m not 16 anymore so it’s at least been easier for me to identify the problem. Though I’m still coming up short in terms of actually being able to do anything about it, and will be for at least a few months more.

Yeah, I keep talking about it because I don’t know how many people know that I've been feeling this way. And I’m tired of not talking about it in a room full of creatives, because yeah, I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. And not talking about it just makes all that pent up resentment worse for everyone.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing. But with the way I work and think, it’s a slow, tedious, and incredibly time-consuming art. With how much my fic has snowballed over the course of writing, it’s left very little room for the other hobbies in my life. And as my fellow writers probably already know, writing is an incredibly insular craft. And unlike a picture or an image, which only requires a glance, reading a bunch of words requires time and commitment.

So, when you put yourself out there and share what you wrote, it’s a lonely feeling not knowing whether or not anyone connected with what you put on the page. Especially, when the people who do read aren’t compelled to voice anything and when the people you’d hope would read don’t. And then you're stuck in the dark, not knowing, because neither of us says a goddamn thing.

I started writing this fic prior to actually joining the CP2077 fandom. And I joined the fandom because I felt alone. I’ve been here a while now, albeit in a few different places, and that feeling still hasn’t gone away. I’m still trying to find camaraderie with my fellow writers and carve out something that kinda sort of resembles a home or a sense of community. I watch my peers around me as they seem to build that with each other, except me.

I’m envious of the things that people make and jealous of the relationships those have created and fostered between said people, because for the life of me, it’s been a struggle to cultivate that since I got here. I know it’s selfish, but I also don’t know what about me makes people so hesitant. There have been a handful of strangers that have shown up for me regularly, but as far as people I call friends in this fandom that have shown up and actually stuck around, I can only name one right now. (I know we're all busy. And I acknowledge my writing's not for everyone. I know maybe some of you are quiet, or shy, or probably a thousand other things. I get it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less. People will never know unless you say. Never know unless you take the time to interact or engage. Be brave. And that's true for a lot of things.)

The propensity is for the negative to outweigh the positive. I've got a lot of numbers on my fic, so you would think things would be fine, but at this point they just feel empty. They don't bring me any comfort or real satisfaction. And I hate feeling like the people I know don’t care and that most of you are just talking around me. That I’m some kind of annoyance not fit to interact with. Which may or may not be the case. I don’t know. Again, most of you have never said anything. And maybe I need to accept the fact that most of you never will.

But this is me trying to start conversation.

It’s really shitty, knowing that the thing I want the most is also the thing holding me back. I know how to work on it too, not that it’s any guarantee. The problem is I’m still writing and in a needy state of greed. And because I’m slow, I don’t have the time or the energy to be generous. I can only take right now. I can’t give.

Relationships require both.

I can’t bring myself to read other people’s writing. I can’t comment, or like, or share if I haven’t read anything. I'm desperate for conversation, but I also don't have the time or assurance to facilitate it with other people right now. And for some reason people never seem to want to talk to me, especially when it comes to writing. I want to be part of conversations, talk deeply with other people. But I can’t speak right now, I'm not in a place to offer generosity without someone first giving it to me.

And generosity and grace is what we all need.

Four more chapters and I hope my ghosts will finally let me read in peace.

#cyberpunk 2077 #2023 year in review #year in review #virtual photography #writing #from the top #fic: so it goes #long post #i can't guarantee a safe space but i can guarantee a brave space #if anyone's been feeling similarly and wants to talk about it my dms are open #the door's always open

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annasinterests · 2 months

Text

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

seasons don’t fear the reaper ♫ nor do the wind, the sun, or the rain

|| series masterlist || main masterlist ||

a/n: hello hello hello!!!! i am crawling back from the trenches to update for this series!!! i've gotten a few comments here and there of people telling me how much they've enjoyed it so far which has made my heart grow 3x bigger. thank you to everyone who has been so patient with me and still following along <3 y'all mean the world to me!!!! enjoy buddies <3

word count: 1.3k (for good reason i promise)

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, abby's group pov, direct consequence of the last chapter, swearing, lots of tension!, depictions of violence, whatever you know of TLOU part II- throw it out the window from here forward — please tell me if i missed anything!

The gas station stood under the muted glow of the moon, its once-red sign now an overgrown relic, its letters lacking the shiny luster they had decades ago. The windows were boarded up with rotten wood, and the interior had been stripped down to its very foundation. It was the best refuge offered in the miles they trekked– the only, really.

Abby stormed across the linoleum floors, the rubber soles of her boots striking with an angry cadence, one maintained from the moments they stopped running. She carelessly slung her pack off her shoulders, letting it land haphazardly on the side, and drove her knife into the countertop. Planting her hands to steady herself, she murmured curses under her breath, a volatile symphony of emotions reverberating in the stale air.

The others trailed behind her, one attempting to make themselves inconspicuous by being the last– a futile effort given the charged atmosphere.

"Couldn't think of a name that didn't start with the same letter as your own?" Abby's voice cut through the silence, her anger evident even without turning to face her target.

Mel avoided looking at her hunched figure. The tension between them had been going on for months, and this was certainly the breaking point. Abby had been set on one mission for years, and all it took was five minutes for Mel to screw up. Your escape forced them fleeing farther than Abby preferred, dismantling their camp in haste and running until they felt some semblance of safety over the border into Idaho.

Embarrassment colored Mel's face as she weakly rationalized her guilt, "I told you it wasn't a good idea to begin with."

Abby scoffed and rolled her eyes, a sardonic smile curling on her lips, "What you should've told me was that you're totally fucking incapable. Would've been crystal clear, then."

Mel swallowed hard, feeling Abby's rage descend upon her like a palpable force. Glancing at the others, most avoiding eye contact due to their own discomfort, Mel crossed her arms and tried to find the courage to defend herself once more.

"I did my best."

"Well your best wasn't good enough," Abby retorted without missing a beat, finally turning to face Mel. The moonlight streamed through the cracks of the boards just enough to illuminate the intensity of her glare and furrowed brows.

It was clear that Nora and Manny's sentiments aligned with Abby's, yet they chose silence over confrontation. Jordan and Nick, perpetually indifferent, remained on the fringe, more interested in the thrill of hunting and hurting enemies rather than the unfolding of drama within their group.

"Listen, what's done is done, alright?" Owen placed his hand on Nora's back, an action that sent a pang of jealousy through Abby's stomach. She eyed them both with disgust and forced herself to swallow down the brewing nausea. "Now, our best bet is to head back to Seattle. We can regroup–"

"Se- What?" Abby's eyes widened at the suggestion. "No– We're not-"

"We don't have a choice," he cut her off and took a step towards her, concern evident on his features.

"The hell we don't!" Her voice thundered. "We're not going back!"

"You're being reckless!" Owen snapped back with an accusatory finger, "We can't afford-"

"Four years!" Abby seethed, her frustration pouring out, "Four fucking years, gone to shit because of her!"

Owen's jaw clenched, tired of the constant hostility towards Mel. "You're looking at a whole town to go after us, you know that, right?"

She pressed her lips into a thin line.

"What then, Abby? You wanna start a war with these people, is that it?" His voice raised with each word. "We can barely keep up with the Scars!"

The weight of the past bore down on Abby, her blind rage and need for retribution chaotically clashing with the pragmatic choice he presented, one that resonated with the others as they too recognized the impracticality of her rage.

Her clenched fists trembled at her sides, torn between her relentless pursuit of revenge and going about it all sensibly. She would've almost agreed with him– almost– if it hadn't been for the small voice that came from behind him.

"He's right."

The room plunged into a deafening silence, the air undeniably thick with tension now more than ever. Mel's figure was almost entirely shielded by Owen at this point, her provocation igniting an instant outrage.

Abby's features darkened and she ripped her knife from the counter, raising it as she stormed towards Mel. How dare she? It was bad enough that she embodied a constant reminder of everything Abby and Owen could've been, but now she had the audacity to defy Abby despite being the one responsible for this entire mess?

Owen caught her arm and she lunged against his hold with a powerful shout, "Fuck you!"

He pushed Abby back just enough to create distance, opening his mouth to speak but only being met with a forceful shove and resounding slap. "And fuck you, too!"

Abby's chest heaved as she backed up and glared between the two; one a former friend, the other a former lover– both nothing more than traitors to her now. She scoffed and shook her head, swiftly turning on her heel to retreat through a backroom and subsequent door outside. Manny exchanged a quick look with Nora before slowly trailing after her, while Owen watched her storm out with an apathetic expression and a loose arm wrapped around Mel in a half-assed attempt of consoling her.

Outside, Abby leaned against the cool brick of the building, her skin radiating a heat that would surely be more welcomed in the winter versus now. The bitter taste of frustration lingered in her mouth and it seemed like nothing could soothe the tumult within, not even the loud buzzing and ticking of insects around could snap her out of it.

She slid down the wall until she hit the ground with a soft thud and rubbed her hands over her face. She felt so much all at once– anger, grief, sorrow, resentment. This was all she could think about, all that she worked so hard for, only for it to be ruined. She couldn't fathom being forced to take ten steps back when she was so close to ending this nightmare.

Quietly, Manny joined her side. Her leveled counterpart, the one that could ground her when she was too close from flying off the handles. At one point in time, Owen had been that for her, but it ended long ago– back when he still believed in this mission, when he still believed in them.

Manny understood Abby's turmoil well– hell, he harbored the same resentment. He figured him to be another asshole left in this world to begin with, but the belief was solidified once he broke Abby's heart.

However, he also recognized the necessity of unity.

"Abs..." His tone was soft, "you know I've got your back, right?"

She shifted slightly, nodding and meeting his eyes. "And you know I hate Owen just as much as you do... fuckin’ idiot seems to forget these two are the reason we winded up here, but–”

Abby gave him a pointed look, to which he defensively held a hand up, "Maybe we should go back to Seattle."

All Abby could muster was a half-hearted scoff before Manny spoke again, "I know it's not what you want– but now they know, and now they'll be expecting… Think of it as a chance to make no mistakes next time."

She looked back down between her knees, reluctantly acknowledging the wisdom in his words with a nod. She sighed, her shoulders easing a bit of tension, "We were so close, Manny."

"I know, Abs," he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, his voice carrying the weight of shared disappointment. With a gentle jostle, he infused a touch of optimism reserved for moments like this, "But listen... Just when they think we're gone, we'll be right under their noses, yeah?"

The thought was enough to make her crack a smile.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #annasmasterlist #anna writes

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