melonpond

[melonpond]

This starts out as a nice gesture, then quickly becomes absolutely ridiculous.

1,024 dice. Man.

[melonpond]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

[melonpond]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[melonpond]

Two idiots decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic. 

"What's Logic?" the first idiot asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example."

"Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!"

The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The idoit is obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I can't wait to take that logic class!!"

The idiot, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend.

"Math, History, and Logic!" he replies.

"What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?" he asked.

"No," his friend replied.

"Gay."

[melonpond]

“This year Tubbo is hosting his third annual endurance stream”

Thank you the BBC for completely dodging twitch slang 😭

[melonpond]

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

[melonpond]

Bothering the beast

[melonpond]

idc if it’s cringe or unrealistic i literally don’t. fanart where a bunch of characters are sleeping/cuddling in a big pile will always make me deliriously happy

[melonpond]

warm baked goods are insane. something so beautiful and almost maddening about absolutely tearing into them when they’re fresh. feeling warm all over after. I really do get vampires for real

[melonpond]

Tumblr users will see a post mentioning a day if the week and just fucking black out and reblog it

[melonpond]

#THERE IS???? #THIS TINY FRICKING TOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE #NOT EVEN PEOPLE FROM THE CLOSEST CITY RECOGNIZE ITS NAME HALF THE TIME #AND THERES A FRICKIN SUPERNATURAL EPISODE SET IN IT #How #Genuinely how #That's wild

[melonpond]

i’m re-reading animorphs, a series i loved when i was a closeted young child, as a queer adult and feeling a little insane over it actually. like ok so. imagine you are just a normal regular kid until one day, a chance encounter with an adult unlike any adult you've ever met before abruptly changes who you are as a person, and suddenly you are not like other kids at all. and now you have to fight a secret battle for survival, but you cannot tell anyone around you about it, because many of the people around you harbor a secret violent hatred for who you are, and if you tell someone without realizing the person you're talking to is one of the people who hates you, that person will either put you through horrific harm to make you like them or just outright kill you. this is true of every single person around you—your parents, your siblings, your friends, your teachers—except for a few other kids who you know share your same secret.

and now you have to try to maintain close relationships with the people you love even though you cannot tell them who you really are, who you spend your time with, who you go to when you're not with them. when you see your secret companions in public, you have to try to pretend you barely know them, because being seen together too often could lead to suspicion. you are enduring consistent ongoing trauma that you cannot talk to anyone about because anyone whose job is to help people through trauma may also be one of the people who wants to kill you. also you're a shapeshifter. like yeah ok i wonder why so many people who were obsessed with animorphs as a kid turned out to be queer

[melonpond]

ppl like “i was a gifted kid but now im dumb as shit ahhhh im so sad now weeeeh” shut the fuck up i grew up smart as shit and i’m smart now and i’ll die smart as fuck too. youre nothing.

[melonpond]

Pearlescentmoon is in NightVale

[melonpond]

there’s absolutely nothing better than reading a 100k word fanfic, that is until you remember you have a body that is starving, thirsty and incredibly sleep deprived and hasn’t used the bathroom since the sun set 8 hours ago

[melonpond]

grinding and cramming for finals when I'd rather be grinding and cramming. in like a sex way or something. i guess. i dunno. shuffles away sadly. hits my head on a low-hanging branch and bleeds out in the snow

[melonpond]

reblog if you’re a lesbian who supports bi girls, a bi girl who supports lesbians, or if you want all wlw to have a nice day