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eloquentreverie · 6 months

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𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none. just fluff.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1k

a/n: I've been in need of a lot of comfort lately so here's a little thing I wrote.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: andy barber x girlfriend! reader.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐈𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 (𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧)

The lock, followed by the front door, is what ultimately wakes you up. Your favorite crocheted blanket and a bag of chips lay next to you. Groaning, you rub the sleep from your eyes and the light from the TV illuminates some of your features.

When Andy finally steps in, noticing that you’re still up, he gives you a disapproving frown. He’d told you specifically to not wait up for him. He knew you needed your rest, and he was having to work overtime on a very important case. But, you couldn’t help it.

You wanted to wait up for him and welcome him home with a warm kiss when he came in. It had been so long since you’d actually gotten to spend any time with him outside of bed that you craved his presence and just his company at this point.

He rests his hands on his hips after he sets down the briefcase and walks over to you. “Honey. You were supposed to be asleep hours ago.”

His face shows disappointment, but then he runs his fingers through his hair before letting out a frustrated sigh.

“I’m sorry, okay? I just couldn’t.” Your lower lip juts out in a pout and you gaze up at him sadly. “I missed you and, well, I didn’t want to sleep alone.”

A weak smile curves over Andy’s face. He then reaches down and lifts you off of the couch into his arms so that he can give you a kiss, which is tender.

“Sweet girl,” He chides when he parts your lips and traces his tongue around yours. You moan softly and curl your fingers in his hair as you cling to him. His grip tightens on you as the kiss becomes more passionate and fervent. You’re both breathing heavily when he pulls away with another soft moan and carries you back towards your shared bedroom.

Andy softly lays you on the bed as you watch him slowly undress and get ready for bed. Your heart flutters every time you see his hard, muscled body. He catches you staring when he looks over his shoulder, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “See something you like?”

“Yeah... my boyfriend.” You smile dreamily and your heart swells, skipping a beat. He crawls onto the bed and rolls you underneath him. His eyes are a brilliant blue as he gazes down at you with an adoring expression. “I missed you. A lot.” You softly whisper.

You both let the words sink in, his eyes closing for a moment as if he’s savoring how you sound when you say them. Andy leans down and gives you another tender kiss before brushing his thumb across your cheek. “I missed you too.”

He lays back before pulling you into his embrace. You tuck your head against his chest and drape your arm over him with a content sigh. This was just what you needed: to hear those simple three words from him.

You begin tracing patterns lazily over the skin of his firm stomach, and you feel him shudder slightly under your light touches. “Mm, baby girl. Don’t start anything you’re not prepared for,” He whispers huskily. You bite your lower lip with a coy smile and look up at him. “How was work?”

He shrugs, trying to downplay how stressful it probably was. “It’s just been a hard day.” Andy doesn’t really say much else on the case, especially to you. However, you’re also pretty sure he might be keeping a few things secret due to the sensitive nature of his career and the cases he works.

“It’s better now, though, that I’m with you.” He squeezes you affectionately and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” you ask, your eyes filled with concern. Andy nods.

“Of course, I know that.” His answer sounds almost as if he’s saying it automatically without even thinking, but when he catches the way that you’re looking at him, he continues. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you these things, or make you feel left out. I just don’t want you to worry.”

You let out a little sigh because you understand what he means, and nod. “Okay. Thank you for being honest, anyway,” you mutter softly.

He reaches down to tangle his fingers in your hair and kisses your lips gently. “I promise, honey, when there is something I can tell you, I’ll let you know. Just, try to trust me for right now, please?”

You gaze up at him silently for a moment before answering. You hate feeling as if he’s shutting you out, or keeping something so secretive from you; but if he said it was for your own protection, then you would have to take him at his word and leave it at that. You nod and he smiles softly before nuzzling his nose to yours. “Thank you for being so understanding, beautiful.”

Your cheeks heat up when he calls you that. It still makes your heart flutter whenever he gives you a pet name like that. But you’ve gotten better at hiding your reaction, thankfully. “You’re welcome,” you whisper before turning your attention back to where your fingers are resting on his abs and playing with one of the grooves between each hard ridge.

Andy chuckles softly and gives your forehead another kiss. “How did I get so lucky?” he murmurs, watching your movements. It takes you a moment before you realize what he just said. The only thing that you can come up with is to look up at him again and quip: “Bad luck, obviously.”

“Huh. No kidding?” he replies with a chuckle and pulls you up further against his side to hold you closer. “I think you mean good luck,” he corrects you in a sultry tone before leaning in to press his lips to yours.

When he pulls away, he wraps both arms around you, sighing happily. “Let’s go to bed, sweetheart. We can talk more in the morning.” You smile and nod in agreement, yawning as you rest your head on his muscular chest.

Within five minutes, Andy is snoring, while you’re lying awake listening to every soft breath that he exhales. The rise and fall of his chest calms you, and you close your eyes, trying to find the same relaxation that Andy has been able to so easily slip into.

Eventually, your mind still races with thoughts, you find yourself studying the perfect lines of Andy’s face. And after a little while, when you start to drift off to sleep, his features seem to soften, becoming blurry before darkening around the edges. Your eyes finally fall shut, but not before you reach out and trace your finger across his strong jawline.

The softness of his skin warms your insides and you feel completely at home in his arms. Your fingers follow the contours of his shoulders until they trail down to the base of his neck, and then wander across his collarbone to feel the pulse that throbs rhythmically under his throat.

You finally smile contently as you doze off, hoping that when morning comes, Andy will be waiting for you instead of gone. But then again, there’s always later; the opportunity to spend more time together that neither of you have seemed to be able to grasp lately.

For now, however, you revel in having him close to you and fall asleep without worrying about when he’d slip out the door without your knowledge once again.

#andy barber #chris evans #andy barber x reader #andy barber x female reader #andy barber x you #andy barber x y/n #andy barber fanfic #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber imagine #andy barber blurb

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octoshott · 2 months

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So. Side Order, huh?

I've been chewing on my thoughts over this for a good few days now. Want to spit them out somewhere. Vague-ish spoilers ahead.

I want to preface this with saying that I love Splatoon, I've been playing it since 1, really dropped off near the end of 2. Nintendo made Octo Expansion for me, they released it on my birthday and I love it so fucking much.

Side Order is fun, but lacking criminally in content.

You can argue Roguelites are like this in general, its the core princible to replay them over and over again and as someone who enjoys Roguelites, I agree!

However, a key thing that good roguelites do is continously give you a reason to keep playing- whether that be addictive gameplay or, usually, good story and lacing that in with difficulty that becomes the players goal to lessen- It rewards the player for being curious, experimental and above all else persistant.

I am fully aware that difficulty, due to Splatoon's target audience, in something like a roguelite was never going to be an easy thing to balance let alone pull off but having the main plot resolve itself once you hit the top of the tower was, in my opinion, the first of its blunders.

I feel as if the Splatoon developers know how much the lore and worldbuilding of these games matter to players. Side Order was advertised in very similar veins to Octo Expansion. The trailers had mystery and intrigue with clear connections to the well recieved and loved Octo Expansion to the point of having the same protagonist among other simularities.

They were clearly teasing this to be a successor of SOME capacity to Octo Expansion. And even as I went into this expecting it to be nothing like OE in terms of it's personal weight, I wasn't expecting something so short.

Classically, in roguelites that focus on story, you would gain story beats the more you replay. And techincally you gain this with the keys gathered from each fully cleared palette. But usually your story rewards in roguelites come from clearing or attempting runs and rewards:

With Side Order's story being resolved the MOMENT you step onto floor 30 with no real context unless you've intentionally avoided the top or have genuinely been slowed by its difficult (which I assume is what the devs intended) makes it's climax feel fast paced and lackluster- undeserved, even.

And, yes, I am fully aware that when you climb the tower agani after the credits role, you begin gain more lore about whats going on. But with the actual, main threat neutralized in every possible way it feels as if this lore should've been offered to us much sooner and much more spread out for a better pay off.

It's story feels like its being told out of order and, in my personal opinion, the themes and actual telling methods of Side Order we're a largely missed opportunity to tell something a bit more indepth. Climbing a tower that gives you essentially nothing until you reach floor 30 (which in my experience takes about 35-40 minutes) only to recieve about two scentences of lore is incredibly tiring and feels dissastifying when the main plot is already over.

It's lack of variation in level design, tasks and chips doesn't help with the climb each time if you're looking for the lore or just to 100% either. And you can argue this is a roguelite problem, but Splatoon's scenario's for a tower climb are pitifully small and you will start to seem repeat almost immediatly on your second or third run.

I also feel like it relies far too heavily on the player knowing and caring about Octo Expansion. I'm not saying that I think it was a bad idea to have most of what's going on in Side Order happening because of Octo Expansion's events. Hell, I was happy when they were very blatently showing this early on.

But it does very little with its ties to Octo Expansion, making Side Order feel like its constantly struggling to be its own thing away from the original DLC.

I think I can almost see what they wanted to go for here, and its frustrating, it felt close to something at least telling a decent story.

Every single little beat I've gotten has helped me understand more and more what they were going for, but since the main conflict is already resolved I find it hard to be excited and more frustrated that I wasn't given these during my initial playthrough.

I feel as though the roguelite formula was an interesting idea that they polished the best of their ability and to make work both for casual and experience players- but I think thats where the problem comes in.

With Side Order being the same price as Octo Expansion and offering very little in terms of replayability and most especially for me, story, the whole thing ends up feeling like a muddled mess that would've worked better had the roguelite aspect perhaps been dropped in general for a general tower climb.

Missed opportunies feel like they decorate Side Order in a way that leaves me fairly disappointed.

I think, overall, Side Order is a fun time that can be enjoyed but the way it was implimented into the gameplay formula was largely a mistake, especially coupled with the marketing of this being something more indepth with its story when it's not, and I can absolutely understand why I'm seeing a lot of disappointment for it.

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon side order #side order #splatoon spoilers #side order spoilers #i just wanted to spit my thoughts out somewhere #i could've gone more into my grievances with the plot but i wanted to generalize this and its already too long #but i definitely feel mismarketed too #i say this as someone whos enjoying it despite its lack of content #i am DEFINITELY let down in terms of what they seemed to be implying in trailers #and if you enjoy side order thats fine all the more power to you #salutes #scrolls.txt

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sungbeam · 2 months

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spread some love !

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

hi anon! thanks for sending this in :') im always so bad at posting these things, but i can def do this one. i don't know if i would classify them specifically as favorites, but more so people i've interacted with the most 😭

@justalildumpling : i don't even need to go on besides saying that this woman is my soulmate. "in another life" but we're gonna beat the universe and meet in every life, type of connection. the girl who has seen me at my worst and has still treated me with as much kindness and compassion and care as she did the first time. i feel like in certain ways, we're kind of polar opposites, but also the same? i mean, on paper we can be so different, but when we talk abt what we like and dislike, when we laugh together, it all becomes something of the same and she restores my faith in other people again. she's the person who constantly makes me want to be a better person.

@ethereal-engene : one of my two beloved 姐姐's on this site skfnrknf but i remember talking to ash so many nights abt just any and everything. i am so happy that we're comfortable enough to be able to joke around, share our niche interests, have deep conversations, and even pen pal!! like i think it's crazy how SIMILAR our families are; we could legitimately be long lost sisters haha but also the blood of the covenant runs thicker than the water of the womb sometimes, so that makes sense. she's one of my comfort people, and honestly, i feel like we both come out of nowhere with some topics, but either person will hop right into the convo regardless and just vibe 🤧

@winterchimez : my second 姐姐 on this site !! my older sisters def take care of me well and i am so grateful for that :')) ally is always so supportive and yet so energergizing to talk to. she's def seen a lot of my brainstorming and i feel very comfortable bouncing ideas off her. she's always so generous with me too, like care packages??? RAH 😭 obviously, i love her for reasons besides the material goods, but it's a love language nonetheless. ally is prob one of the warmest and most welcoming presences on this hellsite tbh, so if ur ever looking for a new friend/mutual, she's the best.

@loveliestfelix : nana is another reason why im still around. i like to thank that beomgyu drabble every day for kickstarting our friendship because i have never met someone i have had such lengthy and fun brainstorming sessions with. nana is the type of person i would love to meet irl and just share stories over coffee with, though i feel like i always associate her with train rides and coffee now HAHA she's also one of my greatest writing inspirations, like i was and have always been blown away by her mind, and her word counts. i love calling her the queen of angst, and you will never be disappointed when reading something of hers.

@jaehunnyy : chip's been here for a really long time, like guys, no one can compete when she's been here since i had park jisung as my pfp and she had jeno as hers 😭 i think i really treasure our friendship and how much it's grown over the past two years :')) so much has happened over that time, and i think that if i met her in real life, i would just be blown away by how pretty she is like TT anyways,, i always love talking to her because of how much chaotic energy we create when we do, like i feel like we can power an entire city grid with how much chaos we make, and it's all the better for it. i love her very much, and i hope she understands just how wonderful of a person and friend she is.

@mosviqu : oh, my beloved bar, i love u to bits and pieces. i think recently you've become one of the few reasons why im still here writing and posting. like i am so utterly, from the bottom of my heart, grateful for all of your support and the love you've given and shown me. and even when we moved to dms to converse, i just realized how cool you are as a person, and how similar we are (in the best way possible). it's really nice to be able to connect with a person on multiple levels, and im really happy that was the case with us :') as soon as i saw ur love for tomorrow by chanyeol, i knew there would be something more to our friendship. i am so very fond of you, and your writing blows me away every time i read it.

@zzoguri : moni :( i hope ur doing well, friend, and i know you haven't been active here lately but i do wish you all the best. i love how passionate and committed you are to improving in writing and developing your own creative writing style, and it's so impressive to read your writing in general :') i love the confidence you advocate for yourself, and how real you are. thanks so much for being a friend; i just really appreciate all the support and hype you've given me during my time on deobiblr, like thank you for being such a thoughtful person.

@wuahae : cat and i have definitely interacted more off this site than on this site, but i felt that it was dire she was included here nonetheless. like bro, thank you for literally being the reason i come out of my apartment (or in most cases, invite people to my apartment), and for thinking of me! i think i once told you how hard it is to find friends in college, but you've made my experience here far less lonely. i love getting dinner with you, planning outings, and making weird animal noises together on the streets 😭 also, cat's writing is literally so poetic, and just her explaining to me her plot ideas tears visceral reactions out of me TT

@yunhoszn : i feel like me and fawn are low-key on the same wavelength a lot of the times, but in general, i think fawn's just such a rad person. i've told her once or twice before but i genuinely love her writing style because it has so much personality in it. it just makes reading her fics such a fun and enjoyable experience. also even off this site, i have so much fun interacting with her, like just commenting on her instagram posts like the gremlin i am, i know she's gonna hit me with the best response back skfnkejd (waiting for the day i go to where u r so u can do my makeup low-key... ur so fly, pls do my makeup...)

@goldenhypen : em, my lovely twin :')) i know our interactions have def decreased, but i don't think that's decreased the fondness we hold for one another. i remember when em first started interacting with my works and then followed me, i literally rolled off the couch cuz i started fangirling 😭 and she is one of the most genuine and brightest presences here. she is a follow forever, bro, you better follow her forever. i just adore her compassion for others and her absolutely adorable fic concepts, and omg don't even get me started on her work ethic 😭 i wished u the best everyday you had requests, i don't know how u did it. you are literally superhuman.

@hqrana : i haven't spoken with noa in quite awhile, but im guessing it's cuz she's girlbossing her way through to that nursing program 🤧 my favorite woman in stem girl in this hellsite, she is my beloved xnonie 😭 i think i just appreciate noa's undeniable presence and character so much, like she brings so much energy to my inbox whenever she's here, and her support of my ideas and fics just makes me 🙇🏻‍♀️ like thank you for being here. and to know we both love marvel and taylor swift? i feel like she has to be like,, my best friend? like she needs to be my best friend?? sending hugs and well wishes your way, always.

#sungbeam strikes again #moot ❧#lovely anon <3 #most of these people arent super active here anymore but love to them regardless

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dutifullyshamelessearthquake · 2 hours

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Y'all might think I'm silly for doing Sicktember again this year when I'm still chipping away at Novemetober rescheduled, but just try and stop me. I'm insane like that.

(also hey, unlike Novemetober, with Sicktember I challenge myself to actually do the prompts I choose on the correct days, so September will be a month filled with one shots for y'all)

Anyway since we know Tales from the Waiting Room will be a prompt on the Sicktember prompt list, I've already been brainstorming for it and I've got a kind-of-elaborate idea for it!

Cyno and Tighnari are there for Collei who's having some minor procedure, think maybe wisdom teeth surgery. Worried dad Nari, plus Cyno being very uncomfortable but insisting on staying with him in the waiting room for the entire duration because damn it he's not gonna let his hatred of hospitals make him leave Tighnari alone.

Over the course of the hour or so they're waiting, in between snippets of them just being the loving couple we know and love, they watch other characters come and go, really play into the tales of the waiting room. We get a small cameo from just about every one of the main couples I write in the AU, Kazuha and Gorou, Aether and Albedo, etc! Maybe Heizou dragging in his new roommate who had an encounter with the beans he's so allergic to. So many possibilities!

Anyway this is definitely a very elaborate idea, my concept brain ran away with it a bit, but I thought it's something fun and different and I wanted to share it with you guys!

As a side note, I just spent 10 minutes googling different bad jokes to find the perfect one for Cyno in the fic I'm currently working on-

#earthquake author's note #earthquake rambles #sickfic #genshin sickfic #sickfic prompts #sickfic headcanons

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feiar · 3 months

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Elsie rant

so this is my Elsie rant, I really wanted to talk about multiple things to really get the rant in, so I will be talking about lancia heartstrings and birdhouse

First up lancia, so I saw stars rant about lancia already, about how icia sees him as a king and how she thinks lance sees her as his queen, I'm just going to say lance dosent quite see her as an equal and that's because of her previous status, because she's stronger then him physically and had a higher social status then him, he also saw icia as a step above him, he trusts her of course, but he trusts her with the things that he can't do, and the things he can't do are supposed to be things that he can do ect getting into the stereotypical gender roles, he also saw icia as someone better then him because we all know he used to know his past before the circus, and it was either bad enough where he wanted to get away or he wanted to run from problems he created, he saw her as someone better because she didn't have to run from problems she created, he did, and needles to say he felt terrible about it. After Raina was deleted with those memories was the point in time where he started seeing her as more of an equal, where he started to understand that everyone has things that they're good at and every relationship is a yin yang of what one can do for the other

Tldr: lance saw icia as someone above him aswell because of her abilities and his cowardness

Heartstrings: I have no clue what to write here, it's very clear that Jessy sees dusk as an equal that was said to her day 1 so that's not news, I feel like I've definitely fleshed out Jessy alot since I first introduced him and that shows alot aswell. His whole mindset is around "inertia" the concept of "everything will keep moving and you can't really stop it so you gotta keep moving with it" and that has kept him sane for a long time clearly, he does want to go home back to the real world of course but he has already accepted that that won't happen and it's not the end of the world

Birdhouse: THESE TWO ARE SO FUCKING CUTE, I have no idea how else to put it. Clara, a person of a really harsh abusive toxic past and chip with no past at all, I honestly have no idea the thought process behind this, but if I had to guess is would have been dusk seeing that clara was trying to help mix, her friend, and knew she needed help but couldn't help herself, I could be 100% wrong idk but that's what I think. I honestly didn't expect child out of this but I am so happy we got child out of this, chip is 100% the reason why clara embraced themselves, if chip never ran off into that train station that would have never happened I don't think. Also I really like throwing in the detail that they're colorblind, like completely colorblind no color whatsoever, I did use Google and this is a things that can happen but it causes sensitivity to light and I think partial blindness, but this is a digital world not the real one. (yes I did just pull the "cartoon logic" card) they have never seen color in their lives, and that would make for a very cute moment (and yes that random ask for Clara's favorite color was a random color, it's a color they hear alot associated with them so that's what they choose, it's also the color described for chip)

@the-moth-from-elsewhere

@iciatheguardess

#Elsie rant

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cowboyjazz · 6 months

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my self-insert dragon ball OC, sorra, has hella trauma, but gets rescued by goku and becomes his adopted daughter. it's cathartic as fuck to write, so please also try that. unfortunately for sorra, goku fucking dies three years later. this fucked-up fourteen year old is now saddled with grief and the feeling that she should have fought cell instead of her little brother gohan, and persues tutelage from the other strongest fighter on the planet, vegeta. it's been over a decade since then.

i've been writing this OC for a year at least, and recently, i've been thinking about mind reading in dragon ball. they drop it as soon as it's introduced, for one; for two, if i was grappling with a childhood full of abuse and had the ability to share that burden instantly with a trusted confidant, i would do that shit in a heartbeat.

---

The sun filtering through Sorra's dirty porch window lit up her living room, but the light didn't reach her kitchen. It gave the apartment a lopsided energy. She'd been lying on the couch for what seemed like hours, and her phone got boring ages ago. She readjusted, careful not to kick her kind-of-uncle in the head. He sat on the floor. Inexplicably, it was his usual spot, and it was where he'd been since Sorra had gotten home. She was in a sensitive mood when they finished their training for the day, and although neither had acknowledged it out loud, she was soothed by his company. The entire bag of chips that he had knocked out in the meantime was a fair price. His voice had been left largely unused until now, and croaked slightly when he finally broke the silence.

"When you ask me to share your memories, does that really help you?"

"I... yeah, it does," Sorra responded in surprise. She shifted upright. "Why do you ask?"

"Come here," he said cooly.

Sorra maneuvered to Vegeta's front. His expression betrayed nothing. His hand was steady as it reached for hers, and careful not to grab her prosthetic. He placed her open palm on his forehead. Sorra did not have words for what she saw.

When she pulled away, she was shaking. Sweat chilled her neck and forehead. She looked up to meet his evaluating gaze. She couldn't speak for a moment, but knew how important it was that she did. He was never this vulnerable with her. Even now, he was entirely in control of himself.

"How do you feel?" she ventured.

"Fine." His expression remained unchanged.

Sorra sat back on her heels. She allowed her head to loll backwards, and studied the ceiling absentmindedly. When she closed her eyes, she could vividly recall what she had just seen.

All of the memories that he shared with her were violent. Frankly, she had expected more gore. So much of it was just... Vegeta's ki. Gigantic blasts, and his knowledge of what was in front of them. His apathy.

Old memories like these often felt... altered. Touched. They all have some spots that are clearer than others, where they have most often been revisited, like fingerprints on foggy glass. They leave traces of how they are remembered, too. Sorra's flashbacks left certain memories drenched in anxiety and grief-- at least, according to Vegeta. She searched his memories for the same.

She found regret, of course. She could feel a dull ache in her chest. Guilt, probably. The self-loathing was familiar to Sorra, and that was everywhere.

He'd remembered some of these many, many times. His recollections spread out before her like tree rings, and Sorra could feel them change throughout the years. He had been proud of these, not so long ago. More recently, though...

"How often do you think of this, Vegeta?"

"Every day."

"And does anything help?" Sorra pressed, hopeful.

"No," said her teacher, his tone passive and withdrawn.

Sorra released a soft sigh. The ceiling was white, with a sharp, pointed texture that Sorra didn't know the name of. It looked like someone had pressed into it with a trowel while it was wet, leaving peaks in the plaster that shone golden in the setting sunlight.

Easy, Sorra. Stay present. Focus. What does he need?

"It's horrible," she assured him.

"Barbaric," he echoed flatly.

The silence between them was vast.

Sorra shifted uneasily, eyes still tracing the shadows in the ceiling. "Whatever comfort I try to give you now, you'll reject it."

"Deservedly so."

"Why?"

"What the hell do you mean, why?!" Vegeta's tone broke free from its restraint. He lurched forward involuntarily. "You saw!"

"Yeah, I did," Sorra agreed, her temper warming. She leveled her gaze to meet his as he continued.

"My actions could never be seen as anything but thoughtless and cowardly! I spent decades under the rule of someone who slayed my entire people, dealing the same fate to hundreds of other planets at his beck and call like some servile dog! I bode my time to fight Frieza-- and for what?! In the end, I wasn't even the one to kill him! After all that, the one justification that I might have had--"

"Nothing can justify what you did." There was no venom in Sorra's interruption, but its inarguable truth was striking.

"...yes. Nothing. Even then, I..." Vegeta trailed off, words escaping him. None felt adequate. Regret permeated the man, soaking up through him. He wore it like defeat, but Sorra knew better.

"You've grown since then," she urged, her voice soft.

"It makes no difference."

"The man who did those things died on Namek. Didn't he?"

Vegeta said nothing.

"And you went to New Namek, recently, too--" Sorra attempted to elaborate.

"That is irrelevant," Vegeta spat.

"It is relevant! Dad told me what you asked him there." Her encouragement bounced off. Vegeta tensed.

"And any reparations that I may make won't--"

"Shut up and listen, Vegeta!" She shifted forward on her haunches, urgent. His posture was guarded, his arm blocking his chest as it rested on his leg. "You have saved this planet from complete annihilation twice since then. You've given everything you have to protect Earth basically since you arrived, even when you were being a total dick about it, and you've done nothing but grow stronger and more compassionate the entire time I've known you!"

Vegeta drew back, and his ki braced itself. Impossibly, he read her reassurances as an attack. His next defense was an old one. "Even so, nothing can undo what I had once spent my entire life doing! We both know what's coming for me when I die!"

"You saved my life, asshole!" Sorra spat.

Vegeta had died twice already. The eternal fate revealed to him the second time around was far from surprising, but it had definitely changed him. His altered perspective had to do with Bulma, she was sure-- some misguided sense of cosmic failure as a husband or a father or something-- but Sorra didn't take the bait. She wouldn't convince him of anything from that angle.

He was silent again, stunned by her reply. He couldn't walk that one back so easily, not to her face. She continued.

"The entire time I've known you, you've been improving. When we met, you already cared about Bulma and Trunks, right? I definitely think you did. And you agreed to train me, the spawn of the dreaded Kakarrot--"

"You harassed me for months to!"

"And you didn't even kill me for it! You took care of me when I lost my arm, you warned me not to trust Duria, you retaliated when she stabbed me--"

"Oh, don't brag on me for that! I killed your mother behind your back!" he protested.

"She wasn't my mom anymore, and you know it! Stop arguing with me, you fucking ethical masochist! You thought that I could handle what I was going through, and when you found out that I couldn't, you saved my life! You even stayed with me that night so I wouldn't try it again! You made me open up to you even though it was clearly uncomfortable for you to do so! Am I wrong?!"

"You... no. No, you're not," he muttered. Sorra waited for a retort, an argument, an insult, but none came. Vegeta was once again at a loss for words. It was a rare feat, but her victory rang hollow under such circumstances.

When Sorra spoke again, her voice was lower, but her intensity remained. "That's who I see when I look at you, Vegeta. Someone who reflects, and grows. I see someone who loves his family, and who's willing to self-sacrifice to make sure that they're safe. I see someone who fucking cares. That man that you remember, the Prince of All Saiyans? With the tail, and the dumbass shoulderpads? I don't know him. You're punishing someone else now."

Vegeta had looked down at some point. He studied his gloves placidly, fretting the fabric between his fingertips. She broke his focus, grabbing his hands in her own.

"You're right that nothing can undo what you did. It was still evil, Vegeta. You're right about that. But you can change what you will do, and in that department, you're head and shoulders above anybody else."

He released a short puff of a laugh. "I suppose, when you start out where I did..."

Sorra tentatively moved a hand up to his cheek, cupping it softly. He allowed her. "You're a good man, Vegeta. You don't have to believe that yet. You just have to trust me."

They both knew those words. He had said them to her years ago, when she was convinced that the world was cruel and unforgiving, and that she didn't belong in it.

With that, the weight of Sorra's compassion finally became too much for him. The remaining veneer of Vegeta's composure cracked under the pressure, releasing a quiet sob as it went. His brows knit tight together and he looked away, obscuring his eyes, but the tears that came from them were obvious. Sorra touched her free hand to his shoulder, allowing him a chance to pull away, but he did not. She pulled him to her chest, embracing his weakness, guarding him as he crumpled in her arms. She rested her hand between his shoulderblades.

Finally.

She prayed that she had given him even a sliver of the relief that she had felt when their roles were reversed. She was honored to even be given the chance to try.

#sorra #dbz #oc #vegeta #dragon ball #i'm sure i could pick and preen at this some more but it's long enough i don't wanna do too much more to it #i have been various stages of drunk throughout this process but i think sober cj will also like this haha #y'aaaaall i LOVE the dynamic between vegeta and my oc #i feel like sorra puts him in extreme enough circumstances throughout their relationship to one another that she kinda...#accelerates his character arc without altering it too much #mmmmwah i love vegeta i'm gonna kiss his whole face #peace out y'all #writing

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daily-rayless · 8 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Thank you, but aaaaaaa, this is difficult. I only started posting on AO3 last year, but I've been posting fic online since 2006, and while there's a lot of old stuff I can't 100% stand by, there are also older fics and elements of older fics I'm still proud of today.

I think for a lot of ficwriters, our fics are tied very closely to different points in our lives and our sense of accomplishment -- so things like that also make it difficult to pick favorites when looking at these titles stirs up so many memories.

But here, I'll give it a shot:

5: Kindred (Harry Potter, 2007, no longer online): These days, my feelings about HP are less positive, but Kindred was my take on the life and upbringing of Fleur Delacour. It allowed me to research an expansive fantasy world as well as make new friends online as they patiently fielded my questions about life in the UK. I got to play around with original world building when it came to Beauxbatons and Veela (at a time when the HP world was still more open) as well as imagine the latter sections of the series from the perspective of the Order of the Phoenix. I was also writing this right during all the build up to Book Seven. I thought I was pretty safe in world building for Fleur, figuring she'd never be all that central, only to read Deathly Hallows and find not only that she's fairly involved, but a good chunk of my headcanon had to be thrown out and rewritten. Kindred was also the first time I'd contributed a longfic to a major fandom that was simmering with interest and energy, and I got so much encouraging feedback. It was a lot of work, I felt so proud of myself, and I was so pleased people enjoyed it. I'm still touched when people message me and say they remember it all these years later.

Weasley gives me an automatic smile. “Just a moment, excuse me.” He jerks his chin to Hassan, and they pass out of the room, down the hall. Hassan glances at me, raises his eyebrows, and grins.

Damn.

I distract myself from my hunger by studying the office. This is one of the smaller ones I’ve seen, cluttered with unopened boxes and a half-filled bookcase. The desk is neat, stacked with papers. A black leather-bound book on the desk catches my eye, its cover stamped with broad gold swirls and dots. It also, I realize, opens right-to-left. Hebrew?

I glance at the still-open door. No sounds.

I slide my fingers under the front cover, flipping it open. Then I blink and lean forward. Every left page is full of that sweeping, dotted script. Every right page has pictures, very stylized. Hieroglyphs, I think. A lot of the figures have animal heads on human bodies, and I recognize the ancient Egyptian numerals from Arithmancy class. I shut the book. I really shouldn’t pry.

My stomach yowls. Well, glancing at stuff on the desk isn’t prying.

I pass over the papers. There’s a framed photo of nine people standing in front of a pyramid, all of them vibrantly redheaded. I pick out Bill Weasley in the group, sans ponytail and earring. He looks better with them.

I check his wall clock. 12:31. Argh.

There’s a small glass case by the photo, containing a chip of some rock (lapis?) inlaid with gold. Arranged around it are what seem to be ancient corn kernels...no...Oh my goodness, they’re human teeth.

Rattle.

I jump, wheeling guiltily towards the door.

Thud.

Rattle.

I look back down at the desk. The sounds are coming from the top left drawer.

Slowly, steadily, I back away from the desk.

Thud. It sounds large, as though something almost filling the drawer is shifting around.

Suddenly, the fact that I’m in a Curse-Breaker’s office carries much more weight. If Kensington could get a curse in the mail, couldn’t Weasley keep a special occasion curse in his desk drawer?

No matter. It doesn’t concern me.

“Mphlum?” comes from the drawer.

That was a human voice.

“Gphlb? Gvpblaffx!”

His muffled voice sounds like he’s struggling. I realize that I’ve stepped back towards the drawer.

Really...Weasley’s a Curse-Breaker...why would he keep a curse lying around? It’s his job to get rid of them.

“Plibg.”

I run my thumb along the smooth brass drawer-pull. Probably it’s some annoying portrait he’s imprisoned there for peace and quiet. I know all about that.

“Thfssss?”

I jerk the drawer open. A human head stares back at me.

4: The Stars Are Fire (Tales of the Abyss, 2021): This is my longfic about Asch and Natalia, exploring their relationship before and through the game, then examining Natalia's life after the war. I think what I love so much about this one was how emotionally free it felt to write it. Generally I write in a very linear style. Stars was written all over the place -- one scene here, one scene there, with very little regard as to stringing everything carefully together. The hope is that if you've played the game, you can follow where you are in the timeline, and the scenes are connected more by theme and feelings than plot. Doing it this way took a lot of pressure off of me. I didn't have to write "boring" scenes, I didn't have to carefully plot. A lot of the time it was just, "Oh, what about exploring this canonical scene?" Or, "Wouldn't be interesting to show this about their childhood?" And I could just go with it. Stars is also special to me because my earlier attempts to write long Abyss fics hadn't quite worked, which was a little discouraging because Abyss is one of my very favorite games.

Natalia flew into him, and, as if it were a dance they'd already learned, he closed his arms around her shoulders, the both of them burying their faces in each other. He could feel her fingers gripping his back, her eyelashes against his cheek, her heart pounding against his own. For just a moment, his brain was released from all thoughts, all impressions but breathless relief.

He was here. She was safe.

There were voices, the others exclaiming over Luke. In a moment, Natalia would push away from him, go to Luke too. But she'd come to him first. She'd run to him.

His brain was catching up to all of this, reminding him there was no time for any of it. Nor a point to any of it.

Natalia was pulling away, but she didn't leave his embrace, taking him by the shoulders, looking at him, saying something – asking if he was all right? Asch was about to say something stern – he didn't know what – but she had one of his hairs smeared across her wet cheek and first he needed to wipe that away, otherwise she looked ridiculous – and he touched her cheek, and the next thing he knew, he'd pressed his forehead to hers and shut his eyes and he could feel her soft breath and her hands tightening on him and he was doing his best not to say all of the things he needed to say – he –

“Whoa, what's this?”

Luke's – the replica's baffled voice was what Asch needed to break out of this storm. Not roughly, but firmly, he stepped back from Natalia – she kept hold of his arm, and he didn't stop her. And Asch felt almost furious satisfaction as he saw the replica staring confusedly at the Jewel of Lorelei in his palm.

After Asch explained, as everyone exclaimed over the Jewel – and that somehow they'd both survived the hyperresonance – Asch again felt weight settle over him. He was alive. It wasn't over.

He still had to go on.

3: The Muse of Last Songs (Transistor, 2019): The first in my Muse Trilogy. It was hard to pick between this one and the final installment, because the final one brings things all together to a (hopefully) satisfying close. But I really like Last Songs because it was my chance to world-build a past for Red and dig into her history with the Boxer. The game drops so many little hints about who they are and how they relate to each other, and these hints felt like fun toys to play with. I was a little hesitant to start posting the trilogy because I'm not sure the universe was asking for a very long Transistor trilogy with a lot of of OCs, so that makes me feel so flattered and grateful that people are interested.

Red had no special plans for that day, aside from the lunch with Belrose. She's not expecting any interviews, any photographers. She's wearing trousers and a blouse, a large triangular ring on her right hand. She'd written some notes for her song on her inner arm during lunch, and the marks are still there. Her hair could use a bit of comb, and she's only bothered with lip gloss. She looks more or less how she usually does on a day left alone to herself.

Whether that's a plus or a minus is really just a matter of perspective.

Colette beckons her over, sort of like she's trying to coax some animal that's never been properly domesticated. “We're interviewing bodyguards. Give me thirty of your priceless minutes.”

Red focuses, looking past Colette to the three men. Though of different heights and ethnicities, there's a certain look that they all share – young men, dark hair, dark or tan skin, squarely built and solid looking. She takes a moment to study each. She's never shy about looking people in the eye, and she's glad to see that each of them has the nerve to maintain eye contact.

One of them.

One of them, she looks at a few moments longer than the others. Not out of recognition or distrust. He just keeps her attention a bit longer.

2: Death and Ker (Persona 3, 2010): My what-if story exploring if the female protagonist came on another adventure with SEES. While it's no longer my best writing, and I'm sure there's lots in it I would now do differently, this fic still has a very special place in my heart. My earlier Persona longfic, Elysion, is very sad in places, and while Death and Ker also has its bittersweet moments, it was my opportunity to write SEES as strong and hopeful after the harrowing events of Persona 3. I also love the FeMC, Minako, her energy and strength, and I loved writing from her perspective, particularly exploring her relationship with her Persona Thanatos. Add some references to Greek mythology, lots of Shinjiro, and my opportunity to finally get Akihiko and Mitsuru together (one of my favorite ships, but one I find very hard to write), and I still look back on this one happily.

I've come abreast of a bar, with some guys out front smoking, nearly silhouetted against the lit windows. Another guy, broader across the shoulders than the others, has kicked a trashcan onto its side, letting the garbage spew out. He's sitting on it, hair down to his waist and bearded, a shapeless cap over one eye and a long, ragged greatcoat. There's a smell rather worse than cigarette smoke, and I pick up the pace again, wishing I was upwind.

"Hold on," that same gruff voice says, and I realize that Lovely here is my defender. "You took a long look. You can't say you're too proud to say 'good evening'."

His Japanese is perfect, but there's some accent I can't pick out – English-speaking, I think, but I don't recognize it as British or American or anything like that. I've turned towards him before I can tell myself to keep walking. He leans back to study me, throwing his face into better light. Gaunt features, a long pipe between his teeth, some of which are missing. I can't guess his age, except that he's older than me. His hair is some color between blond and brown, and his eyes look greenish, and they track me up and down a few times.

I'm not good at staying away from trouble; people always used to say this about me. But this isn't trouble, it's just a word. So – "Evening," I say, and turn to go.

"You have a look of death about you."

I turn back around. The guy's leaned forward onto his knees again, and the others are talking amongst themselves, someone laughing. Is this a weird set-up, or...? I turn to go.

"You keep out of the light, but there it is just the same."

What?

...I've got a naginata and a Persona with a huge metal mask thing. I can handle whatever's going on here. I turn back and stare at him, waiting for him to explain. He gestures sideways, and unresistingly I step into the glare of the windows.

He stares at me a moment, teeth cracking around his pipe, and nods slowly like he already knew what he'd be seeing. "You're pale enough, and your hair's the color of dead things, dead leaves. Eyes like dirt and blood." He leans back and turns away, drawing on his pipe. "Why pussyfoot around it? Why not carry your damn scythe in the open?"

I blink, but I can't quite deadpan this, and I find myself shifting my weight once from foot to foot. "Are you friends with Mama at Club Escapade or something?"

"Shove off," the guy says, gesturing me away. "Take your dirt with you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Pretty girl." He swings to his feet, the trashcan rolling away with a clatter. "Death shouldn't pretend to be cute. It's raw and bleeding and it loves the living more than food or air." He chuckles. "I don't want to be friends." And he slouches into the light of the bar's front door.

I pitch forward a step, about to follow, then pull to a stop, hardly hearing the question one of the other guys throws at me. What was he talking about? Could he tell I was dead? I could ask Death himself, but Thanatos is quiet, uninterested in this exchange.

1: The Beast in the Dark (Fate/Extra, 2017, not online). So this feels kind of selfish, seeing as no one can read it and I don't know whether I'll even post it, but I really love this fic. In the mid-2010s, I was sad and frustrated and artistically unhappy (unhappy about art -- not unhappy in an artistic way), particularly with my original fiction, which didn't feel very good, and most of the time wasn't even happening. In this mindset, I wrote a trilogy of fics set in the Fate/Extra universe, focusing on female Hakuno. And what I love about that experience, along with it helping me through that patch, is that I just let myself go. I threw basically anything I wanted at the story. I researched all sorts of weird things about history and different cultures so I could incorporate them. I really like words and their derivations, so I just told myself I could include unnecessary explanations of word etymologies. I threw in cringey tropes I enjoy but might be embarrassed to admit to other people. I had no expectation of ever posting it, so I truly was able to please myself. Beast is the final installment of the trilogy, the longest, and all the angst and shippy stuff and nonsense comes together in a big loud crash for it, and I just really loved writing that. Almost immediately after finishing Beast, I suddenly felt ready to write The Price and Prey of Magic -- the original novel I'd been thinking about for years, but been unable to start. I don't know if Beast unlocked something in me, but I like to think it did me good.

Was it even possible to really love someone with your whole soul? Maybe a parent could love a child that way. Maybe if the two of you had grown up together, and they'd always been part of your life. But a person who had a whole life separate from you, whom you'd met only recently?

Could you really graft your soul to the soul of a comparative stranger?

There was a tree by the well, and its leaves rustled in the slight breeze, sending a sympathetic shiver down Hakuno's back.

A man's shadow fell across her

She looked up.

It was a tall man in army fatigues and a burnoose. She couldn't really see his face because of the sun behind him.

Crow, she thought.

“You're the American?” he asked.

Hakuno sat up, unprepared for how relieved she was to hear English again. His accent was unfamiliar, but the words were perfectly clear. “Yes,” she said, squinting up. “My name's Hazel Kuznetov.”

Maybe he noticed the squint, because he moved out of the glare, though not any closer. His skin was tanned, but he wasn't actually Middle Eastern – possibly Japanese. Despite his white hair, he looked to be in his twenties. She thought she saw a red muffler wrapped around his head and throat under the burnoose. There was a long gun on his back.

He held his hand out. “I'm Shirou Emiya.”

Thank you for tagging me, @deemoyza. Going through my archive brought a lot of feelings of happiness and gratitude bubbling to the surface.

#fanfiction #i'm sorry i went on so long but doing this made me really happy #kindred #harry potter #tales of the abyss #transistor #persona 3 #persona 3 spoilers #tales of the abyss spoilers #fate/extra

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theladyofbloodshed · 2 years

Note

So that anon's theory about Amren and babies made me think of a crackfic that I would love if you could do (it is however somewhat Amren centered and I'm aware you don't like writing her so you can refuse this-I completely understand)-

( I would like if this is set after your AU ACOSF cause that for me is the only Nessian story I find acceptable but again whatever you wish to do-you're the writer :) )

So basically Nessian's baby (daughter) who is now around maybe 1 years old (whatever age babies start crawling or moving and somewhat talking on their own) and has had some sort of attachment to Amren.But now that the baby is able to move around herself she's taken to trying to follow Amren everywhere.And no one is able to stop her or distract her.Maybe she even has a babbled random name for Amren as well that the whole NC finds hilarious.

So basically Amren spends a whole day hiding from the baby only to be found every single time much to her annoyance and the IC's amusement.Like she's just going around the river estate hiding from a 1 year old in random places only to be found each time.Maybe at some point she decides to leave to summer court but is again found by the baby when Nesta is also at summer to talk to Cresseida about the fund and has her daughter with her.Idk how this ends or what even happens.It's purely a crackfic idea in my mind so it doesn't have to be completely factually correct or anything.Infact I love the way you think up stuff so if you take full reigns over this idea then that's great too :)

Ofcourse I understand if you don't want to write an Amren centric fic since you don't really like her (same btw) and usually write Nesta centric fics only but it's something about her experiencing her own form of torture with having a drooling babbling baby cling to her lol.

I'm also the same person who had requested the hormonal and pregnant Nesta fic and I absolutely loved it.If you do decide to write it I think it would be interesting if this fic is a continuation of that one of some sort.Thankyou so much!

I love your works!!Infact you are the reason I joined tumblr and discovered so many other authors so really you were my gateway.I can't wait to read your original work when ( used when- because it will happen because you're obviously talented enough to get it) you get published in the future!!!

Awww that makes me so happy that you joined and found more fics. There are so many talented people on here!

I've written just a short one (1.3k) of Amren getting terrorised by baby Nessian!

The ancient one called his name over and over until her voice had grown hoarse. He cut his shower short to see why Amren was howling his name like a wounded beast. She’d been terrifying with power – now, she was just a tiny female who made lots of threats with nothing to back them up.

‘What is the problem?’

Amren stood on a chair, as far to one side as it could go without tipping. ‘It’s followed me again.’

A growl rippled from his chest. ‘My daughter is not an it.’

‘Take it – her – away.’

Phia had always had a strange fascination with Amren. As soon as she could focus her eyes on faces, they always searched the room for the female. It had taken all of them months of chipping away at her to even hold the baby – and then Nesta had needed to remove her after less than a minute because Amren panicked.

Cassian swooped down on Ophelia then whooshed her up into the air so a big, beaming smile came onto her face. It seemed that Amren had been working at the table when she’d been snuck up on. Since she learnt how to crawl, there wasn’t a room that Amren could go to for an escape. Nesta might have given her daughter a helping hand from time to time too.

‘Your daughter is terrorising Amren again.’

Nesta stretched out on the couch. There was a book beside her, but since having a baby, sleep was prioritised over any other hobby.

‘I know. I could see them.’

‘Didn’t you hear her calling?’

Nesta snorted. ‘I did. Phia was fine, just trying to pull herself up.’

‘Wait until she learns how to walk.’

Nesta grinned. ‘And how to fly.’

Poor Amren would have no peace. She had seriously asked Rhys about defecting to the Summer Court. Nyx had never been bothered with her – or she to him. Ophelia had different plans. And Nesta seemed to enjoy her torment.

Nesta scooped the baby to her chest then kissed the crop of dark hair. The wings were a welcome surprise; they were not entirely sure whether the Illyrian genes would be passed along. Cassian had already planned her flying lessons and all the places he could take his daughter once she’d learnt.

‘Can you believe we made her?’

Nesta threw him an incredulous look. ‘I was just the vessel. This is your child. Ten months inside of me to come out looking exactly like your father, you poor, sweet girl.’

‘When we have a boy, he’ll look like you.’

‘Oo, you ripped me from front to back,’ she said in a sing-song voice as she slathered the baby with kisses to make her giggle. ‘If your papa thinks I am ever letting him touch me again, he must be sillier than I thought.’

Amren stood in the doorway and shuddered.

‘Would you like to come with us to the park?’

‘I would rather spend another eternity in the Prison.’

Nesta gave her a sweet smile. ‘I shall inform Rhysand of your request.’

***

Sure enough, once Phia had learnt to walk, Amren was her go to person. Sometimes she’d even start to cry if Amren didn’t pick her up – then Amren appeared as if she might burst into tears as a result. And every time, Nesta would watch with a smirk. Cassian saw her exchanging vindictive grins with Azriel from time to time too as they delighted in Amren’s torture.

There was no escape. Ophelia had learnt how to walk and how to pull herself up to surfaces in quick succession so even if Amren was in a chair, Phia would go to her then haul herself into Amren’s lap before she had a chance to get away. Her wings were growing stronger so, soon, Amren would never be able to escape.

Sometimes she was brave enough to lift the girl back down before running away. Other times, she remained pinned to the spot, calling out for help. The only one who ran when she called was Varian. What didn’t help was how utterly obsessed Varian was with Phia either. She was happy to go to him and he’d play with her for hours, much to Amren’s torment.

‘I don’t understand what is enjoyable,’ she confessed over dinner when Ophelia had wheedled her way onto Varian’s lap and helped herself to everything on his plate.

Cassian had thought that Nesta might prickle more over Amren’s words, but she only ever shrugged them off. If their daughter was hassling Amren, it gave her a moment of space. Nesta enjoyed the peace where she could wolf down her dinner without interruption.

‘Are you telling me that cracked nipples and sleepless nights do not appeal to you?’ She asked between mouthfuls of food.

All of the males around the table winced.

Since having a child, Nesta had lost any reservations or propriety. Cassian had stopped trying to protect her modesty each time she whipped out a nipple to feed Ophelia.

‘Don’t forget cleaning shit out of her belly button when she explodes.’

Mor gagged. ‘Is this a topic for dinner?’

But Rhys had nodded with understanding at Cassian’s words. They had all been there the first time Nyx had woken screaming from a nap absolutely covered in his own filth. Feyre and him had some sort of deal where one of them could refuse entirely to be involved and Feyre slammed down her portion of the deal in record time leaving Rhys to manage it alone.

‘She’s trying to touch me,’ Amren hissed, leaning to the side to stop Ophelia from reaching her.

‘Varian, she’s going to cry if you don’t hand her to her favourite person,’ Nesta teased.

The Summer Court male panicked. He doted on that little girl and would never want to see her upset, but Amren would eat him alive. The former won out with her wobbling bottom lip – which was definitely inherited from her mother. She might have been Cassian’s double in appearance, but the personality coming through was all Nesta.

Ophelia pressed herself to Amren. Her chubby, little arms went around the female’s neck as she imitated the same noise her mother made when she hugged her. The moment ought to have been sweet, but Amren looked to be in physical pain or as if somebody had a knife pressed to her throat.

‘What does she want?’

‘Hug her back,’ Cassian suggested.

Amren blew out a breath. Then inhaled. Blew out again. Her eyes screwed shut.

'I can't.'

Azriel burst into laughter, surprising them all.

‘She looks like we’ve asked her to hug the Attor. She’s a baby, Amren.’

‘I would hug Nyx,’ she said, straining her face upwards to keep away from Phia, ‘but there’s something not right with this one.’

‘Feyre, will you swap our babies over.’

Amren’s silver eyes went wide. ‘No.’

‘I think bonding with both would be good for Amren,’ Feyre replied, carrying Nyx over.

He’d been a lovely baby. A very easy one too, content to slumber in people’s arms or sleep solidly through the night from one month. As soon as he’d hit two, a different child had emerged. Cassian was happy to admit that his nephew was horrid. Nyx quite enjoyed biting. And kicking. And hitting. And hair pulling. And the word no. Rhys had even made a joke about dropping him in Windhaven early after Nyx had thrown his bowl of soup directly at Rhys’ face.

‘Please, not him. Please, Rhysand. Rhysand. I will quit. I will leave this court and join Autumn if I have to.’

‘She’ll give up all of our secrets if confronted by an infant,’ Azriel mused, another wicked smile flitting onto his lips.

Feyre was too kind and hauled a thrashing Nyx back to his seat - but the threat was always there.

‘Phia loves you,’ Nesta crooned.

‘Amam.’

Nesta grabbed hold of Cassian’s hand. ‘She said her first word.’

‘That was not a word,’ Amren seethed.

‘She said your name,’ Varian said with pure delight.

‘My name is not Amam.’

‘If you think we are calling you anything else from now on, you’re dead wrong.’

Amren shook her head. ‘I wish I had stayed dead.’

#amren #crackfic #nessian

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whentommymetalfie · 17 days

Note

Since day one when I found your stories, I've stuck to them, Bird Song is perfect as Home to you.

Never forget all the complex feelings that I get while reading them and how every day I refresh your page to find a new chapter. How lucky are we to have you as a great writer.

Thanks for your Art and for sharing that with us.✨

by the way, I am dying for Bird Song's new chapter and also Home to You's final. I even dream about it and I always imagine how those stories go.

Good luck and thanks again.

Thank you for this incredibly kind message ❤️ Sometimes I can't believe there are people who feel this way about the things I write, but it really reminds me why I've kept posting and love to share my stories here with you ❤️

I'm so happy there are people who enjoy and are invested in Bird Song because I'm obviously highly invested myself, and there's nothing better than getting to share that with others!

As for Home to you, I've been slowly chipping away at the last chapter for months, pausing for weeks at a time, and while I know how I want it to end, on what emotional notes and so on, it's been such a struggle to actually put it into words. I think it comes down to a few things; for one, the whole Breathe-again verse is really important to me, and I want to get it right, and two, the longer it takes for the chapter to get finished, the more time I have to overthink it, and I'm so scared that it's going to be a huge let-down. So I've sort of psyched myself out (which is 100% just my own fault). But I do want and need to finish it, because I can't leave the fic without an ending that I've planned for so long. Sorry for that little ramble, but it's been on my mind lately and I feel bad for leaving it unfinished for months.

Thank you again for your kind words, it means a lot that you took the time to write to me ❤️

#answered asks #anon ask #Bird song #home to you

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darthvaderofmiddle-earth · 4 months

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Y'all I haven't known happiness like this since I lost my last cat, Emma, 2 years ago now.

So as I said before, Patron was found on the streets of a dangerous city, chipped, but the chip wasn't registered. He was thrown out after a family tried to take him in, and decided they no longer wanted him. Patron was taken to a shelter where he was depressed and sleeping, unlike the other active kittens of the place. He was also, unlike them, fully grown. 2 years old now.

I went to check him out, and as the workers closed the door and let him see me, he walked straight up to me and perked himself up happily within not even a second. I picked him up, he melted into my arms, and the workers were so astounded that he did this because Patron didn't like being held. At all. By anyone. Ever. And here he was, a completely different and happy cat, because of me.

I took him home that day, and he's been my baby ever since.

However! He seemed to love mom more than anyone. She fed him since she got up first out of all of us, so I guess it made sense. Patron never snuggled up to anyone while they sat, he never sat in laps, and he really was just hesitant to get close to anyone in a relaxing way to be honest. He wouldn't beg for pets, and he'd tolerate being held for short periods of time, but other than that, he was always perfectly content on his own just chilling here at the house, being relatively near his people (in the same room, but at a distance).

And ever since Mom went to the hospital, Patron cuddled up on her clothes, her bathrobe, everything. He clearly missed her.

But for about a week now, Patron has been walking up to my closed bedroom door, meowing and smacking it for a few minutes before going away. A few nights later, one session of this turned to multiple sessions of his meow smacking.

Then tonight, I broke.

Patron would not leave the door. At all. For any amount of time. He wouldn't stop meowing at all, and every couple of seconds he smacked the door. As I tried to sleep, I couldn't because of his meowing. So, finally, I gave up, and opened the door.

Patron raced to my bed. Our bed. He jumped up and purred louder than I ever heard him purr before, more than I thought any cat was capable of. Instantly, he began making biscuits, he stepped all over me (he's never stepped on me in his life for 2 years), he kept pawing at me to get more pets, and he even kissed my face with his which he's only done once before!!!!!

This baby boy was so curious about everything. He was so happy to be with me, and he never stopped or lessened his purrs the entire time. Eventually, he wanted out, so I let him out. And the moment I got back into bed, he was already body bashing the door to come see me again.

Patron snuggled me, he was so excited he barely sat for more than 10 seconds, and he just kept giving me love physically, more than I've ever seen him give me in two years combined. I didn't think I was going to get any sleep at all because I was just so damn happy with my boy being with me, and I wanted to be awake for every second of it.

But Patron eventually left to go get food, and then went elsewhere. Now, I will sleep, alone physically, but not in heart. Nowhere near alone. I've got my boy, my Patron, who loves me so much that he showed an entire different side of himself to just me tonight. He trusts me. He loves me. And damnit, I haven't loved this hard since before Emma passed and slept with me every night.

All I can say is, if he meows on top of me then chomps my cheek to wake me up, just like Emma did, I'll know she's looking out for us both. She knows I'm going through it right now, and that I've been the loneliest I've ever felt my entire life. To the point that, some nights, when the door is closed and I'm the only one in here, I feel cat paws stepping on me, and a small body conforming to my feet to cuddle them, just as Emma did when she was alive. I felt that feeling at least 5 or so times, but it has been a few weeks now, and I was getting really lonely.

Now I know why.

Emma wants me to open my door to Patron. He will fill the void in my life, and warm it up with his gigantic soft body cuddling me. :)

Thanks, Emma. Thanks, Patron.

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pbandjesse · 3 months

Text

Me and James are at Jess's house! None of us are tired but we have to wake up at 5 to go to the airport so we are going to try our best to get some sleep.

Today was a restful day. Like I did my best to not make myself crazy. I slept in even! I actually wanted to keep sleeping past 930 but I knew it would actually make me feel worse so I slowly worked on waking up.

Dad had texted me not long before I woke up so I asked if I could call him at 10. And when I did I put him on speaker so I could continue to lay there. But it was so nice to talk to him. He told me a story about when he first bought my childhood home and how he got hurt. I didn't know that! They told him he would never work construction again, but we know now that he got better. But that must have been so scary for him.

He wished me and Jess a good time on our trip and we said goodbye. And I finally actually got up.

I decided to take a shower and shave my legs. Which we never have enough hot water for. But I made it work. I did not wash my hair so I will have to do that Sunday night. At the hotel. Which is not my favorite thing but it fine. I got dressed and felt really cool. This was a good look.

I spent the morning cleaning a bit. It was more organizing then like swiffering and wiping things. I made the bed. And shook out the rugs. And then rolled them up to pack them away. I had leftover Indian food for breakfast with tortilla chips. And I watched some videos. I packed a few more boxes and took down all my miniatures from my wall of house frames. I could not take down the houses because our drill is at the house. So that will have to be done later but I made great progress and it felt good.

I sat down to catch up on all my knitting. Which took about an hour. I just watched a video and did all the attachments and I am very pleased with January so far. I'll finish this month and start the next next weekend after we are back.

Once I was done I put on some shoes to walk to Walgreens. I got some gum and a cliff bar and a new nail file. I wandered around and hugged the stuffed animals. And then walked home. I found a really cute basket in the alley that I took home and packed all my 2005 and 2012 furbies in with my mom furby robots. It was a good time. Felt really productive.

I went through my packing for Disney again. I wrote down every item in an inventory. And double and triple checked that I wasn't missing anything. And there were things so could have added for sure. But I really wanted to be streamlined, so I can have room for any souvenirs, and so I wouldn't have to carry to much. And I think I did an excellent job. I feel like this might be the best packing I've done since me and Jess's road trip.

By the late afternoon I just wanted to lay in bed with sweetp. He was being very very needy. I was filing my nails and he was biting the file and being a menace. But I would get up to sweep the studio because after I moved the rugs I discovered how much junk was under the rugs and dirt and pins and junk. So I went to borrow the broom from the hallway and discovered I had some packages. Amazing.

After is wept I opened my packages and it was some house stuff. The window clings. Some contact paper. Things like that. I also got a new hair clip that looks like a bird and a little bow ring that I think it so darling. Like a little reminder on your finger.

I had some Mac and cheese and chilled with sweetp until around 330. And then I decided to get some snails out of the frog tanks, something I have let fall by the wayside. And then refill the water and feed everyone. Because then it was time to go. I said goodbye to Sweetp and told him I would be back in less then a week. And then I was off.

I struggled to the car a bit. But mostly because things kept falling out of my pocket. But I was able to collect everything and things were okay. And then I was off to the museum to meet James.

I would come inside after rearranging my bags in the backseat in the parking lot. James ran out the door to point at me and we were both smiling and laughing so big. I hung out inside with them and other Jesse for a little bit. Talking about wedding venue prices and how James wants the crane to get big googly eyes to become a new mascot for the museum. Which I think is a great idea.

We had to leave though. And after a quick stop for fries and nuggets at McDonald's we were off. And it was a nice ride. We had a nice conversation about life and names we like and being together. It was really good.

We made one more stop at a rest stop. Where I looked at the claw machines but did not play. And then pretty quickly we were at Jess's!!

I was really excited to see her. And quickly we were all piling in her car to go get Thai food for dinner.

This place was a hole in the wall but the food was great. We had some very silly conversations about our childhood meals and things we like or don't like and there were lots of laughs and it was just really lovely. Two nights this week I got to have dinner with my favorite people. I'm so lucky.

We got back here and I tried to help Jess with her packing. But she wants to bring three pairs of sneakers so there was only so much I could do to help consolidate. I think in the end we did a pretty good job. And we were able to get two pieces of outerwear cut from the suitcase and that freed up a bit of space. Jess said she hated me that I was only bringing my one fleece. But my black fleece has been all I want to wear since I got it so I just lucked out!! I didn't even bring a sweatshirt, figuring I will buy one in Disney probably. It's not my fault she wanted to bring a fleece, a crew neck, two cardigans, a zip up hoodie, a rain coat, and a denim jacket! She wanted to be prepared for every weather. I decided to just love with the consequences of bringing just this one.

We would do what we could though. And after switching some of my trading pins to her lanyard and moving a few things around I feel like we are ready and will have to do very little in the morning. Excellent.

That whole time James was in the couch working on editing their podcast. It was nice to have their energy there. I am going to miss them being there this week!!! It will be very hard being away for so long.

We would all start getting ready for bed. Against our wills. But James is winding down now. Despite an annoying cough they keep having at night. And I am ready to try and sleep too. I am going to go grab my water from the other room and turn off the light. I hope I can get some sleep.

Tomorrow we will fly to Florida in the morning and spend the day at Disney springs and exploring our hotel/resort. I'm very excited. I am going into this with an open mind and open heart and just going to lean into every experience I can. I think it's going to be wonderful.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. Wish us luck and safe travels! Tomorrow I will be writing from Disney World! Goodnight!

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pandor-pandorkful · 6 months

Text

The folly of being multifaceted strikes again.

I think maybe I just gotta stop trying to make art streams work for me, at least until I'm an Affiliate and/or can get some better internet...

So if you don't know, twitch has a timed achievement system that tracks your various stats from your streams. The requirements for the Affiliate achievement, which allows you to apply to get paid, are as follows:

Get 50 followers

Stream for 8 hours

Stream on 7 different days

Have an average of 3 viewers

That's it. Sounds so easy right?

Welllll... no....

Gaining followers is a very, very slow process. (I get it, I was incredibly choosy about who I follow on twitch at first, too.) It's maddening, but it's also the one statistic that doesn't "drain" over time, assuming people STAY followed.

8 hours streamed is probably the easiest requirement to hit. But you can lose it if you don't keep streaming, twitch only counts the most recent 30 days of activity.

7 days is the same deal as hours.

3 average viewers is the one that's got me worried about doing art streams, however. My game streams are the only reason I'm coasting by on an average of 3.5... every low turnout art stream I do chips away at that average.

I've had two good art streams so far in the past 30 days: one on a Wednesday afternoon/evening where I was making sticker designs and @shiftythrifting raided me with their audience (💜🧡💜🧡💜), and last Saturday/Day 2 of Frankentober, where I was doing a prompt randomization drawing challenge (of my own weird design) and had basically bribed people to watch with promises of giveaways. ^^;;;

Those streams still had lower passive view counts than my game streams, but they were over 3 at least. The rest of my art streams have been trending worse than that.

Why?

It's harder to vamp when you're actively trying to work on a drawing. That's the main reason speed draws are the norm on youtube-artists dub over the footage after they're done. Drawfee's an outlier, managing to vamp to live drawings by being a multi person team. (So 1 person draws and the other 3 vamp.)

Games are easy because even if you're failing to be entertaining at least the game itself is entertainment.

I'm not completely used to drawing for an audience yet, so generally I tend to come off as overly nervous or low energy. The more art streams I do, the better I get at them... but....

My internet connection is terrible. I can only stream crunchy, 480p video. Which doesn't do my art any favors. (A chatter said on Saturday, upon winning a sticker sheet of my Merfolk: "OH!! You're a GOOD artist!!!" Which made me laugh! ...and despair, a little bit. ^^;;;;;;; I am a trained and practiced artist, but fuck if my crunchy streams aren't doing their damnedest to obscure that.)

So. What to do.

I could switch to making speed draws on youtube, and just game on twitch. But there are several reasons why I really, REALLY wanted art streaming to work out for me:

Having a set work schedule really helps my ADHD, and having an audience helps me focus better

When I manage to get some active chatters it's REALLY fun!!

I was hoping I could use the vods to make shorter vids for youtube... but due to the low settings I'm forced to stream at, it's pointless.

I don't have much disk place on my pc for recording videos, and it's been 7 years or so since I last did any video editing and I'm not looking forward to looking uo tutorials to try reminding myself how to work a video editing suite. >_<

So idk. I wish I felt confident I could afford better internet, cuz that's the big linchpin here.

But random ideas I could try:

Try streaming art at a bunch of different times on a bunch of different days and see if that helps... (tedious, and more likely to hurt my view average even more.)

Give up on 2d art streams for awhile and embrace the mad science angle: stream trying to learn Blender instead.

Also I still haven't tried setting up the webcam to do needle felting yet. If I can find an angle where my boobs stay out of shot, that could be something? (Difficult, there's a reason I want them chopped off. They get in the way for everything. )

Set up a Discord server for my patrons and ko-fi supporters and do work streams of my 2d art there, so that in theory I can still get some of that precious audience-created focus my adhd-addled brain needs so badly

Stop streaming art on twitch and try art-focused streaming site Picarto instead

Ahhhhhh it's all just... maddening. Idk.

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hebimoonlightwrites · 2 years

Note

Hiiii~❤️ How about writing Kantaro Aoi and Reo (separately) having movie night with s/o

Writer's corner: Hey, dear ♥ Of course! Thank you for requesting! This is so cute! I wasn't sure if you wanted them watching a specific kind of movie, so I made a romantic one! Please, let me know if you want also an Horror edition! (it'd be funny!). Also I've made it gn, hope it's fine!! Hope you like it! if not, please, let me know and ask for something else, so I can write another one for you! Enjoy~

Warnings: sweetness, cuteness and prince.. basically Reo, Kantaro and Aoi being themselves~

⋆𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓸, 𝓐𝓸𝓲 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓡𝓮𝓸⋆ 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓶𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓮 𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 gn!𝓼/𝓸

⋆Kantaro would definitely call his s/o to come over and watch a movie together (you can’t make me think otherwise lol!)

⋆He’s the type of cute guy who organizes big parties with friends and also enjoys hanging out with them too!

⋆He’d call his s/o up and say something like:

⋆”Hey, my love~ Want to watch a movie with me? Then come over this evening! You’re going to love it, I’m sure!”

⋆Then when his s/o arrives, they would surely be welcomed by this cute and small joyful guy, who’d jump and hug them so tightly! (he’d be friend to Ramuda, change my mind- lol)

⋆He’d hold their hand and lead them to the living room, jumping happy because he’s going to have a movie night with his dear s/o.

⋆”Just sit and relax! I’m gonna pick some snacks~!”

⋆After that he’d definitely come back with a bunch of snacks, sweets, chips... well.. every kind of snack you can possibly think of! Except for gummy bears... they’re Shogo’s.

⋆In my opinion Kantaro is the type of guy who’d possibly sit very near to his s/o and also spend the entire movie time hugging them, like if they were a sort of cushion!

⋆It’d be cute and pleasant, though, since he’s adorable and small!! (I’d hug him.. oof.)

⋆After that he’d start the movie, turn the light off and relax on the sofa with his s/o, maybe hugging them, as I said before. He’d definitely borrow Aoi’s acc on Netflix---...

⋆In sweet parts, like when the actors kiss, he’d “aww” loud, no doubt! And also ask for a small kiss.

⋆”Just one! Pleaseeeee~!”

⋆When the main actors declare their love he’d blush and comment that they’re adorable.

⋆Also I’ve always had the headcanon that Kantaro would cuddle in cat-like way.. like rubbing his cheek against his s/o’s one, so.. he’d probably do it during the movie.

⋆If that movie they’re watching has a sad part, like for example when an actor dies or is forced to marry someone else, I definitely imagine that Kataro would cry and even sobbing slightly.

⋆Their s/o would notice it after some seconds though, ‘cause he’d try to hide it a little bit, by turning his head down or trying to wipe away his tears rapidly.

⋆I think so maybe because he’s always showing the happy and joyful part of himself, so he’d try to show it also to his s/o most of the time.

⋆”..What?.. No, I swear, I’m not crying!.. Alright, maybe a little bit.. But it’s because they were a great couple...!”

⋆After the movie, he’d turn the lights on and stand up, stretching.

⋆He’d jump around happily and hug his s/o a lot!

⋆”I’m so happy you’ve been here with me!! This movie night has been fun! 𝓦𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓭𝓸 𝓲𝓽 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷~!”

⋆Aoi would be the one to invite their s/o to come over and watch a movie, in my opinion.

⋆They would call them up and say:

⋆”Good evening, sweetheart! How is your day been? Aw... Stressful and sad? Hm.. You want to come over and watch a movie with me?”

⋆Then they’d prepare everything as perfect as they could.

⋆They’d buy their s/o’s favourite snacks, even the ones they don’t like but their s/o does instead!

⋆After that Aoi would also cook something for them and set the table for a little and sweet dinner before the movie night actually starts.

⋆He’d put a candle and also a vase with a flower, their s/o’s favourite one. They’d surely smile purely while doing it.

⋆Therefore, they’d do every kind of gentle thing a prince would do.

⋆They’d do every kind of thing which could make their s/o smile at least once.

⋆When his dear s/o arrives, Aoi would welcome them gently hugging them and then lead them into the kitchen, letting them wondering what’s going on.

⋆”Sorry for not telling you, but I wanted to make this to be a little surprise for you.”

⋆Then they’d look at their s/o, hoping to see at least only a little smile. They’d be happier to spot one.

⋆After the adorable and cute dinner, Aoi would reach the living room with their s/o and watch their favourite movie on Netflix (if it isn’t on Netflix, then normally on TV, or on DVDs, Idk)

⋆Aoi would be the one to hug his s/o while sitting next to them, caressing their shoulder.

⋆Maybe it’s because Aoi’s quite elegant, but I imagine them cuddling their s/o elegantly at first, you know.. just sitting next to them and hugging them with an arm.

⋆But then get more comfortable and even lay down on the sofa still hugging their s/o, caressing their hair and back.

⋆They’d try to cheer them up after a long day, in short.

⋆In sweet scenes, Aoi would be pretty embarrassed but then kiss their s/o sweetly enough to make their heart melt.

⋆”..You want a kiss?.. Oh, sure!”

⋆They’d totally wipe their s/o’s tears away if they’d cry because of some sad scenes. Then caress their cute face and smile softly.

⋆”..Don’t worry, sweetheart.. There’s me with you.”

⋆On the other hand, Aoi would try so hard not to cry! But end up letting a few tears fall down their cheeks.

⋆After the movie, Aoi would still be lied down with their s/o, in the middle of the dark, still caressing their head and back and whisper:

⋆”So... how are you feeling now?.. If you’re still a little bit stressed.. Well.. 𝓦𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓽 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮..”

⋆Reo would be the one to invite his s/o, but let’s imagine he’s been invited by them this time.

⋆When he arrives, he’d jump on his dear s/o only to hug them so tightly!! (seriously, anon, you’ve fed who’s reading and also me with some true kindness and cuteness by asking for these three bois).

⋆”S/o!!! I missed you so much!!”

⋆He’d surely be the one to bring over some extra snacks and some other movie’s titles to watch, because only one would be boriiiingggg~.

⋆Reo would be soo happy if he found out that you’ve prepared everything in a so detailed way.

⋆I mean... he already knows he’s the best, but is he so the best to you??

⋆He’d smile kindly even seeing a giant chocolate bar there waiting for him.

⋆His dear s/o did this only for him?! It would be a little present for him, indeed.

⋆”I brought some snackssss~ Uh? There are already snacks in the living room’s table?!... Oh, chocolate! For me?! I love you so much!!!!”

⋆He’d be happy to watch a romantic movie, so he could get some free attention~!

⋆Reo would be there, keeping moving and changing his sit positions, but end up dropping his head on his s/o’s arm while they’re both sitting near.

⋆In sweet scenes, he would try to cuddle his s/o, or well.. He’d try to get cuddled!

⋆We know he loves to get attention, soo... he’d be there smiling happily, blushing pink, if his s/o kissed his cheeks cutely.

⋆After that his position would change and become more comfortable, holding his s/o’s hand while laying down on the sofa, with his adorable cheek put on his their chest.

⋆”Are you enjoying the movie?”

⋆Reo wouldn’t be able to focus on the film, because he’d be busy looking at his s/o, maybe sometimes, and blush, thinking about how much he loves them and how cute they are.

⋆In sad scenes he’d try hard not to cry and also hand his s/o a handkerchief, but then he’d cry too, even hugging his adorable s/o.

⋆”Waaaahhh! Why must it be so sad?!!!!?”

⋆After the movie his s/o would stand up and try to turn the lights on, but they’d be stopped by Reo:

⋆”What?! Is it already over?! Noooo! Please! 𝓐𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓶𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓮𝓮𝓮!!”

#paradox live #paradox live x reader #paradox live headcanons #paradox live headcanon #paradox live visty #visty #kantaro misuji #aoi kureha #reo maruyama #paradox live akyr #akyr #akan yatsura

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multiplefandomfics · 2 years

Text

Love overcomes Universes

Hi everyone. I'm sorry it's been so long. I've been very busy with work and school and had a bit of a writers block. I hope you can forgive me :D. So here is a little something I wrote during the last week. Enjoy and please leave a like or comment.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Self consciousness, PTSD, Winter Soldier (mentioned), trauma (physical, mental), angst, smut, handjob, p in v,

Words: 4411

“Finally” you exclaimed as you jumped onto your couch with a bag of chips in one hand and your tv remote in the other.

A minute later and your favorite Marvel movie was rolling as you delightfully munched on your chips.

Every line was committed to your memory as you went through a turbulent wheel of emotions.

The characters felt like family. You knew them better than anyone of your blood relatives. Some people might call that odd but not you. Embrace your weird was your biggest life motto.

This morning your friends had asked you to go out with them to a bar to have a few beers with them but you had declined because you had planned your movie evening for days now.

Work had been very straining lately and you just needed an evening away from the reality you called life.

Your boss had been an asshole ever since two of your coworkers had quit simultaneously and that meant more work for the rest but no one dared to tell him to fuck off and maybe take some of the workload on him for once.

But that was a problem for monday.

No matter how often you watched those films you were still always completely engrossed and immersed into the fabulous world of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

1 hour into Age of Ultron when suddenly a draft pulled through your living room and a sparkling portal opened up.

At first you thought you had fallen asleep, mixing your world with Avengers Endgame but after blinking twice you weren’t so sure anymore.

You jumped to your feet and grabbed the first thing that fell into your hands as a weapon which happened to be a full plastic water bottle.

Not too bad you thought to yourself and took a fighting stance a good distance away from the glowing door to another reality.

Next thing you saw were two silhouettes emerging and you took another step back.

The shadows got clearer and clearer until you actually recognized them.

“Dr.Strange? America Chavez?” you looked at them in disbelief.

“Y/N?” he asked and you nodded.

“You have to come with us. We need your help.” he continued.

“And why is that?” you asked suspiciously the water bottle still raised high.

“We would like to explain everything to you when we arrive in our reality. But it is of utmost importance. The well being of everyone depends on it.”

That sounded very dubious but it also sounded relevant enough that they overcame interdimensional borders to find you.

“Alright let me pack my things. How long am I staying over?” you asked, frantically searching for your phone and charger cable on the couch.

“If everything goes to plan you will have to stay forever.” that stopped you dead in your tracks.

“Excuse me? Forever? That is an awfully long time. Can you at least give me a little more information before I decide if I should come with you?”

“Well you might be the only person to calm Sergeant Barnes when he is acting out.”

“This is about Bucky? Why didn’t you say so immediately? Of course I’m coming that man needs all the support he can get plus he’s really nice to look at so it's a win-win situation for both of us.” That decision had not been hard to make. Your job was mundane as it could be, your last good friend had moved overseas a while ago and the contact was almost completely broken up. Plus you barely had any family left who would miss you if you were gone.

“Give me 20 minutes to grab my things and then we can go.” you called with your head in your closet.

25 minutes later and you had found all the stuff you needed and thrown it in 2 suitcases, 4 backpacks and a handbag.

“Alright I think I got everything. What happens to everything that I don’t take?” you asked curiously.

“Well, everything that stays will be erased the moment we leave. Together with all the memories of you that people who have met you during your lifetime have gathered.”

“So it will practically be as if I never existed?”

“Correct.”

“Interesting. Okay let’s go.” America opened the portal and you took one last look at your living room before heaving your suitcases through the door.

Nauseous. Terribly nauseous that’s what you felt once you had your feet back on solid ground.

Taking some deep breaths in through your nose you tried to compose yourself and avoid puking all over the floor.

“That was worse than I thought it would be.” you choked out.

“But you didn't empty your stomach onto your feet. That’s something.” America encouraged you.

“Well, thanks. That would have been very embarrassing.” you replied.

After that conversation you finally took the time to look around you and noticed you were standing on top of the Avengers compound in upstate New York.

“This is soo cool! And it’s huge!!” you exclaimed, turning around.

“Welcome to the compound Y/N. Come on, we’ll show you to your room where you can unpack.” Stephen Strange suggested.

‘Room’ was an understatement. It was an apartment twice as big as your old one.

It covered a bedroom with a humongous bed and walk-in closet on one wall plus a big bathroom on the other.

Adjoining the living room was an open kitchen with everything you might need if you didn’t want to use the public cooking facility.

“This is what you call a room? Guys, my childhood bedroom was a room. This is a luxurious flat. I love it and am very grateful.” you beamed with joy.

“So how can I be of assistance? Tell me everything please.” you sat down on the sofa and waited for them to start explaining.

Dr. Strange sat down opposite you while America lounged herself on the couch beside you.

“It all started with Sergeant Barnes moving into his new apartment 6 weeks ago. He was always plagued by nightmares but it was never as bad as it got after he had moved. He started to fall asleep everywhere every time of the day and then he began to sleepwalk. Unfortunately not as himself but as his alter ego The Winter Soldier. As you can imagine this ended in quite a few broken bones, bloody noses and choke marks. So far none has died but it is only a matter of time until someone gets killed.” he explained calmly.

“And why do you think I am the right person to help with that problem?” that was still an unknown quantity you couldn’t pull a connection towards.

“Because you are his soulmate.” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“His soulmate? How did you figure that out?”

“Because he already had you.”

“Excuse me, what? I have never met him. He doesn’t even exist in my reality. How could I have possibly met him?”

“Not you perse but the you that lived here. He already had a Y/N in the 30’s but of course she is long dead and you were the only living you in all the multiverse. That’s why we think that you are meant to be with him here. You are the only one born closest to where his time traveled self is now.”

“But won’t he freak out when he sees me? I mean for him I died a long time ago. Are you sure he will accept me and I can live up to the memory of the woman he loved 80 years ago? I am skeptical here.”

“Well, you can’t go back and I am sure that you are destined for each other so he will adapt to the situation.”

“Are you the only two who know about this whole plan?” you asked.

“No actually it was Captain Rogers who came to us for help.” America chimed in.

“Steve Rogers wanted you to bring Bucky a girlfriend?” you quipped.

“We brainstormed together with Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff and figured the best solution to our problem would be someone who can calm him. And who better to do so than the woman of his dreams. But it was ultimately Steve’s idea to search for you.” Stephen Strange elaborated.

“Then maybe I should meet the Captain first. I mean he did know the Y/N from the 30’s after all. Maybe if I don’t meet his expectations we don’t have to bother Bucky.” self doubt was killing you. How could you be enough for James Buchanan Barnes?

“That sounds like a plan.” he agreed with you before turning to the invisible AI controlling the whole building.

“Friday could you send Captain Rogers up to us please. It is urgent. And if he is with Sergeant Barnes don’t mention Y/N please.”

“Of course Dr. Strange. He will be up in just a moment.” she replied.

You waited anxiously for the 100 and something year old supersoldier before he stepped through the door after a seemingly endless amount of minutes.

“Strange, you called for me? What’s so important that I had to cut my work out short?” he rambled before his gaze fell on you.

“Y/N? Wow, this is so weird.” he looked a bit freaked out then he did something completely out of character: he jumped forward and engulfed you in a bear hug.

A little taken aback you wrapped your arms around him out of habit.

“It’s nice to meet you, Captain Rogers.” you forced out because he was not letting you breathe properly.

“My apologies. You are just so familiar to me that I forgot for a moment that we have never met.” he stammered after he had let you go and had taken a step back, turning beet red in the face.

“It’s alright and it’s an honor to meet you, Captain. I always wished for this to happen. I mean Dr. Strange and America Chavez were already awesome but can I say that I was always on your side. No matter what happened.” you smiled from ear to ear.

“Please call me Steve. And thanks for your support. So tell me about yourself. I am not assuming that you are exactly the same woman I knew in 1934.” When he noticed your shoulders dropping after his comment he hastily added: “but we are not the same men we were back then either so I am sure you are the perfect match for Bucky now.”

That gave you hope. If someone knew Bucky Barnes it was Steve Rogers.

“So, I think I am ready to meet him now although I gotta admit I am really nervous. But I trust you guys that it was the right decision to come here. So where is he right now?” you asked.

“I’m glad that you’re up for this. He should be at the gym right now. Let’s go!” Steve stood up and reached out his hand for you to take.

It took about 5 minutes to get to the gym and if you didn’t have Steve with you, you would have probably gotten lost. Strange and America had decided to stay back to not startle Bucky with too many people.

As you stepped through the glass double doors into the very well equipped gym you looked around astonished at the variety of training devices. Maybe you could start doing something for your health too if you had this much opportunity right in front of your door.

Then you saw him. Shirtless. Fighting a boxing sack. In that moment he decided to kick it out of the anchoring on the ceiling, sending it flying against the opposite wall with a loud bang.

“Buck, could you stop for a minute and come over. I need you to meet someone.” Steve yelled over.

The metal armed supersoldier turned around and then his gaze fell on you.

His face had been stoic before but the moment he spotted you his eyes lit up and a smile crept onto his lips.

Unfortunately you could tell the moment he realized that what he first thought to see was the girlfriend of his youth couldn't be true.

He warily strolled over to where Steve and you stood.

You were glad when Steve started talking first because you would have not gotten a word out even if you tried.

“Am I dreaming again? Is this a cruel joke? Please let me wake up, this can’t be happening again!!” he said exasperated, letting his hand glide through his messy hair.

“Buck, this is Y/N. She is not the girl from our teenage years but it is her. She comes from a different reality. We brought her here to help you. We thought that you might cope well with a familiar face.” Steve explained.

“Hi.” you choked out when he mustered you with skeptical eyes.

“Hi, well this is awkward.” he mumbled after a few minutes of weird silence.

“Maybe a little. Ehm, do you want to show me around the compound maybe? Alone?” you suggested, finally finding your voice. Out of the corner of your eyes you had observed some people watching you interested and you definitely didn’t want a crowd when you first got to know the man you had adored from afar for so long.

“That sounds like a good idea. I will go grab my clothes and then I’ll show you the grounds and maybe we can grab something to eat. You must be hungry.” he seemed relieved that the situation stopped being tense.

“So, what is it like in your world?” he asked, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets.

“Well, it was very much the same way it is here with the major difference that all of this,” you gestured around “and all of you don’t exist in real life. You are fictional characters out of comic books which were turned into movies over the last couple years. I brought the DVD’s if you would like to see them for yourself.” you proposed to him.

“That sounds… I don’t know if I have a word for that but I am kind of curious. Though it also makes me a little scared because that means that you know everything about me but I know so little about you.” he fixated the muddy ground as if it would swallow him whole if he did it long enough.

“Hey,” you stopped in front of him, pushing his face upwards with your fingers to look him in the eyes. “We have the rest of forever to get to know each other inside and out, alright? Yes, I might know the things I learned from the movies about you, but there is still so much of your story that wasn’t told and I wanna know every stupid little detail.” you grinned at him.

“You have so much to give and you have always been my favorite character in the films. Maybe I know why now. Soulmates and all.” you winked at him. Then you just hugged him because you felt like he needed it.

“Thank you. I already feel so much better. So long I have always sensed that a piece of me was missing and I always thought that it might be the memories I couldn’t recover but that piece might actually be you.

I wanna be honest, at first when Steve introduced you to me I thought he was crazy for even trying but now, now I think you are the best thing that could have happened to me.” your heart was melting at his words. So much so that tears sprang to your eyes.

Before you could reply to his heartfelt speech it started to pour in buckets. He tried to shelter you with his jacket and you ran inside still getting soaking wet.

But instead of being annoyed or angry, you laughed your asses off barely able to breathe.

Weeks ticked by and although it was an adjustment at first you two got closer everyday, noticing similarities in your characters and behavior. So much so that even the others started to see it and mention it.

Bucky and you worked together like clockwork and even Steve told you that he was finally able to see his best friend and big brother Bucky from the 40’s again.

At first he didn’t want you two to sleep in the same bed or even the same room for that matter. He always said that it was because of the values he grew up with but you knew the real reason behind his hesitance was that he didn’t want to unsettle you with his nightmares.

The positive side to it was his daydreams had stopped which was enough for the other avengers but not for you.

“Bucky? We’ve been together for 6 months now. Can we please move together into one room?” you begged him one evening after a star wars marathon.

“You know how I feel about that Y/N.” he groaned exasperated.

“Oh, for fucks sake! Let me help you, you stubborn mule!” tears were already threatening to spill out of your eyes in rage. Before he could open his mouth to reply you continued “I know that you are still waking up screaming at night, scared of the terrors you have witnessed and angry at yourself for letting them do this to you. I can help you regain your self confidence if you let me!!”

His mouth opened and closed like that of a fish before he let his head hang low sighing in defeat.

“My greatest fear is that not I wake up but him and that I will hurt you terribly or worse, kill you before I snap out of it and realize what I have done. I can’t risk that.” Now it was his time to cry.

“I understand you but your sleepwalking during the day has stopped since I arrived so why not believe that that will be the case with the nightmares too? Just have a little faith, my love.” you stroked his cheek softly, wiping away his tears.

He stayed silent for a long while, assessing his possible answers.

“Can I have one more night to think about it?” How could you say no to him?

“Alright but I want an answer tomorrow.” you agreed.

He kissed the top of your head in thanks and asked “So which movie to watch next?”

“Well, have I mentioned that I brought my Marvel DVD’s from my universe? We could watch your history unfolding if you are up for that. I always wanted an audio comment on the films.” you smiled at him.

“You have them here? Okay, I guess. Maybe we’ll find differences. I mean apparently this is not exactly the universe from your movies.”

“That’s true. Sounds interesting. You think the others would like to see them too?”

“I’m sure they would. I think that screams for movie night.” he seemed more relaxed after you switched topics.

After calling everyone together to the theater room you put the first disk into the player and started Captain America the first avenger. The only sad thing was that you couldn’t watch the Disney+ series with them.

Everyone was hyped when the credits rolled and Tony immediately wanted to start the next one because he knew it was his first movie.

“One thing you have to know about MCU films is that there is always at least one post credit scene. So sit down, shut up and enjoy the rest!” you hissed at the billionaire.

Even you were surprised when he actually followed your order.

You spent countless hours over the next 3 days watching all the Marvel movies you were able to bring. It made you kinda sad that you would never be able to see the coming movies from your world. But on the other hand you were currently living your own MCU movie which was so much better.

It was around Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 that you realized that you had forgotten about the one day ultimatum you had set for Bucky. So you confronted him the next day.

“Don’t think that you are getting away with this and that I have forgotten about our little dispute.” you whispered into his ear from behind while he was sitting in his armchair, reading a book.

“Damn. I really hoped you did.” he admitted.

“So? What is your decision? Are we trying the whole “sleeping in one bed thing” or not?”

“Well, you won’t give up anytime soon so okay we can try but only with precautions. You have water in reach to splash me in the face with and I want to be tied to the bed so you can run.” he set his conditions.

“Uhh kinky.” you winked at him and he scolded you with his gaze.

“I’m sorry it just slipped out. I will accept your conditions but you will see that they won’t be necessary.”

You noticed him being anxious the rest of the evening. He was always overthinking things but this time you could actually see the gears turning inside his head.

“Come on Bucky, I am beat. Let’s go to sleep. Do you want to sleep in your bed or mine?”

“Mine is probably best. I have the most sturdy bed frame.” he still didn’t look convinced that this was the best idea but there was no way back now.

You prepared yourselves, changed into pajamas and snuggled into the sheets before Bucky joined you.

“Good night. Everything is gonna be fine.” you kissed him reassuringly.

An hour ticked by and he was still awake. You feared he would keep himself from falling asleep and you couldn’t have that. If he was tired the possibility of him falling back onto his alter ego was higher than when he was well rested.

“Darling, you have to sleep.” you mumbled into his chest.

“I can’t. I am always imagining the consequences this could have.”

Then something came to your mind. What if he just needed a distraction? So you went full on confrontation mode.

“Baby, let me help you relax.” your voice lowered seductively. At first he looked somewhat confused but as your hand descended towards his crotch and you started massaging his rapidly hardening length.

“What are you doing, doll?” he groaned.

You just smiled and pushed your hand into his boxers, stroking his cock to full hardness. Your thumb flicking over his slit, collecting precum as lubrication.

“Fuck, feels good. Don’t stop.” he moaned and you complied.

“Come on baby, let go. Come all over my hand.” you whispered into his ear, kissing his jaw.

His moans were the best sounds you ever heard and he was so close.

Just a few more strokes and he shot his load all over your hand.

“Thank you darling. I think I needed that.” he kissed you. “Let me return the favor,” he offered.

“No, you sleep now. Everything else can be sorted out tomorrow.”

It took some convincing but he gave his okay after you promised he could make it up to you the next day.

Normally you would have thought you’d be woken up by the sun streaming through the window, not by a hot tongue between your folds.

“Oh my god, Bucky.” you moaned after the fog cleared out of your head sufficiently enough so you could register what was happening. Gripping his hair and pulling made him moan which sent vibrations up to your clit.

“Good morning, doll.” he mumbled.

“A good morning indeed.” his tongue was magic, alternating between licking and sucking between your folds and your clit. But the moment he entered a metal finger into your tight channel, curling it just right, was the moment you thought you’d gone to heaven. He always knew how to get you to go feral.

“More, James, more.” you groaned.

“Say that again.” he growled, his eyes darkening even more than they already had.

“James.” you moaned again and before you could fathom what happened did he pull his sinful fingers and tongue away and pounced on you. He guided his cock into your entrance and pushed home in one stroke.

“Shit! James, you're so big.” you moaned. “So tight, doll. Love your pussy. She’s all mine, isn’t she?” he pulled out slowly and pushed back in to the hilt. Effectively silencing your response.

“Say it!” he demanded.

“Oh, god. Yours, James, all yours.” he seemed happy with that response, sucking hickeys into your neck.

“Where do you feel me baby? show me!” he asked. So you grabbed his right hand and pushed it onto the obvious bulge in your belly where his dick was rearranging your guts.

“James, you’re gonna split me in half. Fuck! Faster!”

He sped up his thrusts, hitting your g-spot over and over. The coil in your stomach tightening to the point of snapping. You couldn’t even warn him before you came, shaking uncontrollably.

His hips snapped into yours erratically so you knew he was close too. “Let go James. Fill me up. Breed me baby. I know you want to claim me. Do it.” you whispered seductively.

That was his own undoing and he spilt deeply inside you.

“Holy hell.” he breathed out after rolling off of you. “That was…”

“The best sex I ever had? Definitely!” you finished his sentence.

“But I think I will need a bath to lose my sore muscles.” you smiled utterly satisfied.

“Sorry love. Maybe I was a little rough.” he looked guilty and you immediately regretted saying that.

“That’s not what I meant. I feel really good. Just a little achy you know? But the good kind of achy. Like after a nice workout.”

“Oh, I understand. I’ll go draw us a nice hot bath. I’ll be right back.” he kissed your forehead and left towards the bathroom.

All of this was an absolute dream come true. In the course of only a few months your life had turned 180°.The decision to go with Dr. Strange and America Chavez had been the best you ever made.

Bucky was the love of your life and you would spend every breathing minute making sure that that man got all the love he deserved.

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