#I’ve been hella angsty lately so here’s this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bowandcurtsey · 2 years

Note

Hello mom!! ❤️❤️ i missed you smmm i hope you’re doing alright and are healthy and happy! (●’◡’●)ﾉ♥︎

Lately i’ve been in such an angsty moood, you know me, angst>> 😂😂 but angst with happy ending is my go to always so could i possibly request Nozel x reader where reader goes through a pretty bad break up and like for weeks she just stays in her room so Nozel (who has a crush on her👀) checks on her and while comforting her he confesses? You can decide on how reader reacts!

Again I hope you’re doing well, love u sm, hugs & kisses <3333

-Rinnie

Hello my Child Rinnie <3 Thank you for the love, hugs and kisses <3

I'm giving you all them hugs and kithes too! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

Why have you been angsty! who made you mad? Momma about to bring up her baseball bat and good ol taser and beat the shit outta people now. HAHAHA! I'm just kidding, no violence, but okay Imma write you some fluff and hope you feel better <3

Also... our 2nd Nozel in a row!! I love writing this royal (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)

Nozel Silva x F! reader

TW: Fluff, not proof read.

Nozel came out of his office and realised you were not at your desk.

"Where's y/n? Is it her off day today?" Nozel questioned one of his men.

"No sir, but she took an urgent leave for a week."

"Did something happen to her or her family?" Nozel tried to hide the worry in his heart, he pretended to be just a concerned boss.

"We're not sure..."

The entire day, Nozel sat in his office and tried to concentrate on his work. He tried to. But all his mind could think of was you. What could have happened for you to take a week off work? You were always strong and optimistic.

Should he try to send you a pigeon letter? Would it be overstepping the boss and employee line? Afterall, you had a boyfriend that should be the one caring for you. He didn't want to look like he was coming between other's relationship.

He decided to wait it out for a day or two to see if there was any news of you.

---

On the fourth day of your absence, he found himself standing at your door.

You stood there wide eyed when you saw Nozel standing at your door. "Captain Nozel, what brings you here?"

"J-just wanted to ask you about an urgent matter at work," he lied, "is that fine?"

"Y-yeah, sure," you stepped aside, "please, come in."

In your tiny apartment, he could see that the dishes and trash in the kitchen were piled up. A pile of laundry was in the basket. The table was a mess of snacks and empty cups. Were you like this in private? It just didn't seemed to be you.

"I-I'm sorry about the mess," you tried to bring everything on the table to the already full sink, "please have a seat."

"Y/n," Nozel took a good look at you now that you were both seated across each other, there were heavy and dark circles below your usually cheery eyes. Your luxurious hair was in a mess. Your lips were pale and your entire face looked haggard. His worry intensified and he couldn't help but ask, "are you alright? Did something happened?"

"I'm..." you took a deep breath, "I'm fine."

Your forced smile was what broke Nozel's heart. You couldn't even tell him of your problems. Did you not trust him at all? He pursed his lips, not wanting to force you to tell him if you weren't comfortable to.

After asking the insignificant "work question" he found himself standing at your door again. He looked into your eyes, they were sad and void of life. What had happened to you?

"y/n, please take good care." he said and with all the might he had, he turned around to leave. If he stayed any longer, he might just pull you into his embrace.

---

3 days later, you called in to ask for another 2 weeks of unpaid leave. Nozel almost went insane from the perturbation. He had to think long an hard for another excuse to go over to your place again, but he could not think of any idea.

For the next week, Nozel was hella grumpy. Whoever treaded in his path did not have a smooth experience. He could barely concentrate on anything and instead he found himself standing close to his office doors or around walls to eavesdrop on your colleagues gossiping about you, hoping to know about what had happened to you.

Sadly, it seemed that it was all wild guesses and no one really knew about your predicament.

---

A week later, while working late in his office, wild thoughts clouded his mind. Maybe it was the lack of sleep from nights of dwelling over you, he suddenly had this thought of what if you did something silly to yourself. He mind flashed back to the state of your apartment and you the other day. What if..?

He flew straight to your house.

He almost couldn't recognise you when you opened the door. Your eyes were swollen and red, you had lost tremendous amount of weight from the last time he saw you.

He held onto the sides of your shoulders, "what happened y/n?"

"C-captain Nozel.." you tried to wipe away the tear stains on your face while trying to keep your voice steady, "why are you here at this hour?"

"Tell me y/n," he nudged you easily into your house and closed the door behind him, "what happened?"

He took one look at your apartment. It now looked like a dumpster compared to last week. "Why isn't your boyfriend taking care of you and leaving you in this state? Is that how a man should take care of his girl?"

Upon hearing about your now ex boyfriend, you broke down, "he.. left.." you said between sobs.

This time, Nozel couldn't help himself any longer. Seeing you in this state, all he wanted was to protect you from all the wrongs in the world. He pulled you into his embrace and wrapped his arms around your shaking frame.

Having someone hold you at your lowest moment made you break all your walls down, your body suddenly went weak from the lack of food and water you have consumed over the last 2 weeks and you collapsed into Nozel's arms.

He held onto you strongly as he slowly lowered himself onto your floor. He continued holding you close to his chest as you sat in his lap, his arms gently caressing the back of your head.

---

When your sobs finally turned to sniffles, he gently said, "let's get you something to drink."

He carried you to your sofa. "wait here."

He went into your kitchen and to your surprise, you heard the head of the Silva family actually washing a cup and getting you water.

"Here, drink." the water was even warm. It was just water, but it tasted so good, it made your body feel rejuvenated a little.

"Shall I bring you to get something to eat?"

"No.. I'm not hungry.." you said weakly, still not wanting to leave the house.

"Accompany me then, you need some fresh air and I need my dinner." he insisted.

You looked at the time. It was 10pm and your boss flew over to your place after work without dinner to comfort you in his arms for the past hour. You suddenly felt a rush of heat at your cheeks while thinking of the earlier scene.

"Let me have a quick shower then.." you tried to avoid eye contact with him.

A shower really made you feel much better. When you came out from your room, you saw Nozel when his sleeves rolled up and your house was already mostly cleaned.

Nozel Silva the Captain of the Silver Eagles, a head of a Royal family, someone that doesn't need to lift even his finger to do his own braids.. Cleaning your house?

"Captain Nozel!" you quickly took the trash bags in his hands. You turned over and saw that he washed all the dishes in the sink. "You didn't have to.."

"Please, call me Nozel when we're not at work." he said shyly. He brought the trash out.

"Are you ready to leave?" he came back a few seconds later.

"Mhmm," you nodded as Nozel summoned his Silver Eagle.

---

After a nice meal, (your stomach was growling when you reached the restaurant, so Nozel ordered you some food too) Nozel sent you back home.

The cool night breeze really refreshened you up and the fresh air lifted up your mood.

"Nozel.." you still found it difficult to call him just by his name, "why did you come?"

He was caught off guard since his mind was still stirred by the ordeal just now. He could not think of an answer offhand.

You both just stood on the Silver Eagle in silence.

"I was worried." He suddenly said. It was now or never, he thought, "I was worried about you since the first day i came to your house 2 weeks ago."

"Oh.." the sudden confession caught you off guard a little. Your mind was still in a mess after your break up, so you didn't know what to think.

Nozel was rendered helpless at your silence; he didn't want to push it, since you just went through a break up and your mood was still down.

"Come back to work, y/n." he said eventually, "it would help you keep your mind off things.."

Your heart felt bitter at the thought of your predicament, but having a nice night out with Nozel really lifted your spirits and your thoughts were slightly more organised now.

"I will," you nodded, "thank you for today. You made me realise that I deserve better than that scumbag."

He chuckled upon hearing you calling your ex names. It was the first time you saw your Captain even laugh. You were surprised.

"You should laugh more," you smiled at him.

A hint of pink brushed across his cheeks as he cleared his throat, "only when I'm with you."

You blinked at him, confused to what he was trying to say. He glanced at him, probing him to say more.

He took a deep breath and decided to just spit it out.

"I like you y/n. Way earlier than this, but back then you seemed happily attached, so I didn't want to come between your relationship. But since that scumbag couldn't give you the happiness you deserve, then I hope I get a chance to."

He looked at your now rosy cheeks and tucked the stray hair behind your ears, "you don't have to give me any answers now, I just want you to walk out of this sad phase. I promise to protect you come whatever may."

He said it so seriously like he was giving you some instructions for work. But the blush of his cheeks reminded you that he was showing his vulnerable side to you too.

You smiled as you pursed your lips, "I-I have no idea what to say except thank you."

A gust of wind blew by and it swept his braid away from his face. At that moment, you saw his full handsome features smiling back at you, "that's good enough, for now."

-end-

#black clover x reader #black clover imagine #black clover headcanons #black clover scenarios #black clover x you #black clover x y/n #black clover fanfiction #black clover imagines #nozel silva x reader #nozel imagine #black clover nozel #nozel x reader #nozel silva

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pikemoreno · 3 years

Text

lucky

pairing: marcus moreno x gn!reader

request: from @chibi-liz05 “Can I request a Marcus Moreno fic (or ficlet, or drabble) where either Marcus or reader gets hurt (not seriously hurt) and end up in a med bay, kinda woozy from pain meds and they have a funny and/or cute conversation when the other one goes to check on the one hurt? Please.”

warnings: mentions of blood, injuries, death. it starts out pretty darn angsty, but gets silly and fluffy i promise. these two are hella married.

word count: 2.7k

a/n: honestly this is nothing like you asked for until the end? but this lil drabble idea inspired this whole one shot so i hope you enjoy what you helped my brain create? i loved this, needless to say.

i love this himbo and i’m so happy to write for him.

And thank you for the medical advice to @disgruntledspacedad! Thanks for helping me choose the right drug! 😆

wanna join a taglist? | masterlist

This was Marcus’s least favorite part of his job.

As the newly deemed Director of the Heroics, he was the one to decide who went out on what mission when and with who. Normally it wasn’t too tall of an order. After all, he was chosen as director for good reason. He was perfect for the job. He was smart, organized, resourceful, and tried in everything to understand people-- whether that be in their personal habits or in their superpowered strengths. He was often commended for his ability to form the perfect teams for whatever job arose; and it came pretty naturally, it really did.

That is, until emotion got involved, until personal bias compromised his decision making.

He was determined to not let you go on the mission, absolutely not. The band of powered individuals the team was going after were incredibly dangerous and unpredictable.They’d been a problem for months and this mission was all or nothing. The high stakes and vulnerable position made him incredibly reluctant to make you a part of the team that was heading out under the cover of night to apprehend them. When he didn’t name you among them, he was immediately countered by the rest of the heroes in the room about the choice.

By all the accounts they were right. Given the tactics of the mission at hand, your teleportation abilities were perfect for the job. And if he was being even a little more honest, he’d agree with Miracle Guy that not sending you with them was a “disservice to the team.” It was and he knew it. In a very un-Marcus Moreno move, he was making the completely wrong choice and he wasn’t going to let the sound judgement of anyone else change his mind.

“Psion is not going and that is final,” he boomed. The room became deathly silent. “Now, go get ready. You leave in 20.” But no one moved, no one could. They were glued to the floor, watching their unflappable leader become uncharacteristically flapped.

Marcus was the one to stomp out of the room first and you followed him without hesitation.

“Marcus,” you called, nearly running to keep up with long strides. “Marcus!”

He didn’t even deign to turn around.

In a blink you were now in front of Marcus, hands out to stop him from continuing on without talking to you.

“No teleporting outside of work, Psion” he snapped lowly, but he still obliged your silent request and remained in front of you. You blinked at the small outburst.

“Mind losing the ‘tude so we can talk like adults?” You countered. Marcus lowered his head and whispered an apology. At that you stepped closer to him, your hands coming to rest on his tense shoulders in a soothing manner. “What’s bothering you, love? You know you can talk to me. This isn’t like you at all.”

When his eyes met yours again they were pained.

“It’s too dangerous,” was all he could get out at the moment. His exhale was unsteady as he leaned in, his forehead meeting yours in a much more “Marcus” gesture that brought you both back down to earth.

You sighed, fingers carding through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “Of course it is. It always is.”

“Not like this,” he countered, biting his lip. “These guys are no joke.”

“Neither am I,” you grinned, tapping his nose with your own before pulling back to look at his face in full. He laughed a little, but it wasn’t whole-hearted, you saw it in his eyes.

“And I trust you. I do. I know you’re capable. I just--”

“Worry?”

“Yeah, that.” His eyebrows were furrowed. You softly ran a thumb across the harsh lines it made, smoothing them and making him smile.

“I’m not going to lie to you and say nothing is going to happen. Because it might.” He winced at the words, not wanting to think too hard on what “it” could be. “But I’m prepared and so is the rest of the team. We’re gonna watch each other’s backs like we always do and getting everyone out safely is going to be our priority over completing the mission. It’s going to be business as usual and it’s going to be OK. I’m going to be OK. You’ve gotta let me go. They need me out there tonight.”

“I know,” he sighed. “Just… Be careful. Be ready in 10.” You sighed in relief.

“Thank you, Marcus.” You kissed him. “It’s gonna be fine.” He kissed you. “We’ve got ‘em this time. I know it.” One last kiss, strong and lingering. You tilted your head, an invitation-- no, a plead-- for a deeper kiss, which he obliged before being the one to break it.

“Go,” he murmured, “Or you won’t make it before they leave.” You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Be careful. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled through the sudden onset of nerves before turning and walking down the hallway to join up with the rest of the team.

***

That had been hours ago. Now Marcus was in command with a skeleton crew, the late hours of the assignment sending most of the support and technical team home. He quickly decided that was probably for the best. The sweet little interns did not need to see their mentor so stressed and antsy. No, he had to be “on” for them, he had to be the Marcus Moreno. And he couldn’t be that right now. Right now he was an anxious husband and teammate.

“Where are they now, Connie?” he asked the poor woman at the comms desk behind him for the upteenth time that hour.

“Trackers say they’re still in the hanger, sir. Last update was that they had the grunts and were waiting for the ring leader to respond to their distress call.”

He wasn’t responding. It’d been two hours. And that was a major cause for concern.

“Tell them to just bring who they have back here and we’ll keep searching for him. This is still a win as far as I’m concerned.”

The man who was on comms moved to press the talk button to speak to the team, but the comm crackled to life before he had the opportunity.

“It’s an ambush!” Miracle Guy yelled from the other side, “We’re sitting ducks out here!”

Marcus’ heart dropped into his stomach.

“Go! Go! Get back to the-” He heard your panicked voice call out, the sentence interrupted by a cry of pain.

The room spun. Marcus knew he was yelling but he couldn’t hear a word of what he said. It all just sounded like white noise now, mixing with the jumbled thoughts in his head and the ringing in his ears. He must’ve said something right though, because everyone was working. One was arranging a rescue, one was calling out the vitals of the team via the trackers on their wrists-- everything seemed fine by the tone of voice, but Marcus couldn’t be sure. He couldn’t grasp a word that was said to him. He was totally on autopilot, only able to respond in vague nods of yes or no.

“Hey,” one voice next to him cut through the fog and he looked up to Lucas, the man who ran comms, “They’re going to be ok.”

Marcus’s response was non-committal, not wanting to pull the young man down to share his current state of mind, but not allowing himself to share in his confident optimism either.

The next hour went by in a whirlwind and the next thing he knew, Marcus was downstairs in the medical wing waiting on you and your team to arrive. He’d been in this position before and the thought of it made his throat close up. The images flashed through his mind of a gurney and too much blood and a confused little girl and black clothing on a rainy day in April.

He closed his eyes harder as if to block it all out.

No, it couldn’t be like last time.

It was then that he heard the distinct sound of the sliding doors opening and the murmur of a small group of people. His eyes shot open and, though he stood to his feet, he felt that he could collapse in relief. There was no gurney. Minimal blood-- just a couple of cuts on your face. You were hobbling in, arm around Miracle Guy as he helped you keep pressure off of your left leg. Your face was pained, which probably should have concerned him more, but he was just too happy to see you upright… Breathing. As long as he had that, you could get through anything else together.

He watched as the medical team surrounded all of you, asking questions, prodding delicately at injuries. Marcus could vaguely hear your voice cutting in and out through it all.

“Super strength… Kicked… Broken.”

They had asked you a couple more unheard questions that you responded to in a simple yes or no and then they were leading you to sit on one of the beds. He watched as you went, noticing the way you were looking around for… Something.

Oh.

He smiled.

You were looking for him.

In all his panic and then relief, it hadn’t occurred to him that you would want to see him just as badly in your current state. His heart warmed at the way your tired eyes lit up when they met his. He all but ran to you.

“Hey baby,” he cooed, leaning in to capture your lips in a deep kiss. He’d never been more in awe of you, that you were real, that way you were his, that he could kiss you freely. When he pulled away he observed your injuries closer. Head wounds were always scary amounts of bloody, but he could see that all of the cuts were minor. He brushed a strand of hair away from where sweat and blood had plastered it to your forehead. “What happened? How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better,” you hissed as a stab of pain surged through your leg. He looked down to observe it. His immediate diagnosis wasn’t a good one. It was terribly hard to break a femur, but he was certain this was exactly what it would look and feel like. “Some super-strength asshole kicked me in the thigh to knock me down and--” You winced again. “They think she broke my femur, and I would have to agree.”

“I have to say I’m thinking that too,” he sighed. “I’m so sorry.” He kissed your forehead in between the cuts.

“What are you sorry for? You’re the one that tried to keep me from going. I forced you to let me go.”

“I should’ve stood my ground and had you and the team be mad at me,” he said completely seriously.

“You’re ridiculous.” You side-eyed him, but smiled through the words. One of the medical staff returned at that moment, bringing over supplies to clean your cuts and asking if you’d like something for the pain while they got prepped for surgery. You nodded eagerly.

“I’ll take this over,” Marcus said, hands open to take the first aid kit, “If you want to go get that?”

“Oh, sir I couldn’t ask you to--” The young woman gawked, slightly unbelieving that her boss’s boss’s boss would volunteer to do her job.

“You’re not asking me, I’m asking you.”

“A-- Yes, right away.” She handed him the kit and seemed to flee his presence to get an IV ready. You sat in silence a few moments as he prepared everything. He seemed lost, even in this small task. It took him longer than it should’ve to get his ducks in a row.

“Someone’s a little edgy,” you prodded, watching as too-intense eyes focused on cleaning dried blood from your forehead. He shook his head, eyes softening, but maintaining their focus. The whole endeavor was very clearly an attempt at keeping his hands as busy as his mind was.

“I’d thought I‘d lost you. I thought...” His jaw tightened-- and it wasn’t due to the effort of wiping up blood. You stopped his hand from continuing its ministrations, lacing your fingers together.

“That it was all happening again?” you whispered.

“It was like deja vu, baby. Everything was just like before.” The last word almost came out like a whimper.

“But it’s not. I’m right here. I’m ok.” You brought your forehead to meet his comfortingly. The cuts stung just a little at the touch, but you remained there with him, feeling a deep, grounding breath fan lightly across your face.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You kissed his nose and pulled away as you heard the medic return with the Versed for the pain. Marcus stayed right by your side as you were put on the IV, a hand staying firmly on yours. Which more for him than for you if he was honest. It brought him back to reality and out of his head. He no longer had to imagine the worst, because the best had happened. You were really there. It wasn’t a repeat of the aching horror of seven years before, the day that still had you shaking him awake from unspoken nightmares. You’d made it home to him and Missy-- but he was going to be hard-pressed to go against his better judgment again, no matter how much the team needed you.

“Alright, you’ll start to feel it in just a few seconds. We’ll be back soon to take you into surgery, ok?” the medic explained to you as the IV was in place. You nodded.

“In the meantime, let me keep working on this,” Marcus gestured to the bandages in the kit. As he got to work, he watched the look in your eyes totally change, the Versed taking effect.

“Are you alright?” he asked, covering the cut that just barely grazed your right eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you sighed dreamily in a total demeanor change. The whole room lit up in his eyes. Marcus grinned at the way your posture slumped just slightly in relaxation. “And how are you?” you winked. Oh, this was going to be fun. He really needed to keep you talking.

“I’m doing great. Happy to be here with you, sweetheart. Now, sit still while I take care of this last cut,” he cooed.

“Ok,” you giggled. “What a charmer.”

“I try my best, darling.” He played along, enjoying the way the Versed had turned you into a starstruck girl with a crush.

“Oh noooo,” you squeaked suddenly.Marcus panicked, checking you over quickly for further injury.

“What is it? Are you ok?”

But you only grabbed his left hand, holding it up.

“You’re married!”

Marcus blinked. What was in that stuff they’d given you? You put your face in your hands and Marcus tried to contain his laughter at the way your voice was muffled by your fingers. “You’ve been so nice and caring! I wanted to ask you on a dateeee. I’m so sorry if I came on too strong.”

“Baby,” he called with a sweet lilt to his voice-- still trying to hold in a laugh.

“You shouldn’t call me that,” you sighed sadly, pouting, “You’re married. We can’t be together.”

“Of course I’m married,” he held your left hand up now, “I’m married to you, you goof.” You blinked at the silvery ring on your finger.

“Oh!” you practically yelled, “That’s so cool!” Marcus’ heart warmed at the way your eyes lit up at the realization. Even drugged out of your mind you were excited to be with him. He couldn’t help but feel likewise.

“I agree,” he smiled, “It’s very cool.” He intertwined his fingers and yours.

“I’m so lucky,” you grinned toothily in response. It was so unlike the smiles you usually gave him: too exaggerated and, in a word, dopey. But it held the same affection.

“No, I’m definitely the lucky one,” he countered. Your grin faltered slightly as you grew sleepy-- another possible effect of the Versed, he guessed. “Now, go ahead and lay back for me ok? I’ll see you as soon as you’re out of surgery.” You nodded in agreement and then right off to sleep.

Oh, he could not wait for you to get out so he could tell you about just how “lucky” the two of you were.

#marcus moreno x reader #bri writes #marcus moreno

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pocketfulofrogers · 3 years

Text

Fallen

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: After Steve drops the shield, he begins down a path he may have no hope of returning from.

Notes: I would not be opposed to turning this into a series, but it would be a lil dark and hella angsty.

It's for the best. He tells himself. They’ll forgive me when I’m done. They’ll understand.

Steve repeats this on a loop, a desperate track that tries to soothe the bile that builds in his throat as he types. His heart beats rapidly, each thump against his chest echoing one unified truth: these are lies.

But he needs them to keep moving forward, so that he may forget the look in Natasha’s eyes when he left her in stunned silence on the runway. Her hand gripping her duffle, the humid air thick and sticking her bright hair to her forehead- eyes glistening. Forget the things he said to Tony, full of rage and hurt and everything he hates. Forget Sam and all his pleas, asking for the chance to keep his friend safe.

“Just give it some more time, man.” Sam had begged.

He had given it time, seventy years of it. Add a few more for doing things the ‘right way’ and all he had to show for it was a demolished building, several civilian casualties, and a smear to his name.

Lost and fresh out of hope, Steve had tossed the shield. Not that it mattered all that much to him anyways, all he saw in the center of that star was a replay of every failure he had ever had. Funny enough, they started and ended with the same person.

Bucky.

See, the general consensus on had been that if the Winter Soldier were to take Steve Rogers, hold him for days and beat him until he broke more than his bones, he would cease this rescue mission he had been hellbent on since the fall of SHIELD.

They were only partially right.

Tony had been the one to find him strung up in an abandoned warehouse barely conscious, his eyes sunken and hollow. His body was a mess of blues and purples. Too terrified to touch him, Steve hung there for an additional twenty minutes before the medical team arrived to pull him down.

It was the first time they’d ever seen Natasha cry.

His heart stopped twice in the time it took them to reach the compound and Banner didn’t upgrade him from critical condition until three weeks later. He didn’t open his eyes for another two.

When he eventually emerged from the critical care wing, he was different. “It’s to be expected.” They drone out. Sure, but not like this. He was dark. Twisted and bent and no longer the captain they remembered.

Three cadets had filed complaints by the end of the month, citing a range of problematic offenses. It didn’t take Natasha very long to convince Fury to let them slip through the cracks if Steve would agree to move to another area.

Despite it all, he seemed more focused than before. He swears up and down that if there’s only one good thing he does with his life on this god forsaken planet, it will be saving his friend.

With that thought, Steve presses send and seals a deal with the devil.

You’re leaned back in the metal of a chair, appreciating the cool contrast to the hot sun filtering down. A single, freshly manicured nail traces the lattice pattern of the tabletop absentmindedly while you glance over the café menu.

“A little warm today, isn’t it?” A man asks from behind you.

You turn your head to the side, unable to see him still. “I quite like the warm.” You answer back.

He slips his way behind you and into the chair before you. Something about him feels familiar and it sets you on edge enough that the pistol on your thigh beneath your black dress feels a little heavier.

The stranger has a ballcap worn low, obnoxiously covered in anything that could possibly scream ‘I’m a tourist’.

You lean forward. “I said you needed to blend in not announce yourself as an easy target for every pick pocket in the state.”

“I can’t risk being made, and it’s worked before.”

Sliding your sunglasses down the bridge of your nose, you eye him. Not a single discernable feature about him yet something felt very off. “Who are you?”

He shakes his head. “That’s not what I’m here for.”

You smile coly as you nudge his knee with the muzzle of your gun, and he tenses. “Not an optional question.” It isn’t until he’s raised the bill of the cap up just enough for you to see the bright, clear blue of his eyes that it finally clicks. “Absolutely not.” You announce as you stand.

His hand darts out to grab your arm. “Please, just hear me out.”

You stare daggers at his hand until he pulls it away. “Captain, have you suddenly forgotten what side you’re on?”

“I don’t know if you’ve seen the news lately but it doesn’t seem like anyone’s on my side.”

You purse your lips. “Do you know who I am?” His eyes fall flat and you shake your head. “My answer still stands. I’ve been at this too long to bring in a maybe ex Avenger that could blow the whole plan.”

“I need the money.”

“Ask Stark, he’s got plenty of it.” Steve averts his eyes at the comment and shoves his hands into his pockets. Maybe he wasn’t kidding. “What do you need it for?”

“A friend.”

Your laugh drips sarcasm. “Are you going to offer up any useful information or am I going to have to blow your poor attempt at a cover and slip out? There’re some big names looking for you, Steve, especially if you’re all on your lonesome now. Watching the mercs and the US government fight for first dibs sounds fairly intriguing.”

His eyes snap back to meet yours. “And then I bring you down with me.”

You lean forward again. “I wonder if you’d live long enough?” You ponder for a moment with a sinister smirk. “I am not an enemy you want to add to your growing list.” You grab your bag and stand up. “Good luck in whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I’m trying to buy the freedom of a friend.” He says quickly just as you’ve turned your back and you pause. “Hydra set a high price.”

With that, you sit back down. “You’ve piqued my interest, go on.”

He rolls his bottom lip between his teeth and leans forward. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing, he barely even knows who he is.”

“The Winter Soldier?” You ask and he nods.

“I knew him a long time ago, thought he died. He saved my life more times than I can count, so I’m trying to do the same.”

You dart your tongue out to wet your lips. “Very noble, but this is not the place for you.” Steve moves to interrupt, but you hold out a finger. “We are not noble, we’re barely even reasonable. If it’s money you need, go rob a bank. There’d be less blood on your hands.”

“It wouldn’t be enough. I don’t care what I need to do, I’ll do it.”

“Story checks out, boss.” You pause to listen to the man who’d been feeding you tidbits of information on the other side of your earpiece. “Chatter says he’s cut ties with the Avengers permanently. There was some kind of falling out with Stark.”

Looking back to Steve, you watch him for a few moments. “You’re about to cross a line you can’t come back from.”

“I’ve already crossed it.”

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #Avengers

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rdrhoe · 3 years

Text

daddy dutch x fem reader here we goo

my first ever fanfic for the red dead community i wrote this as complete self indulgent pwp whilst vv high

warnings: hella daddy dutch, spanking, dom/sub, angsty ish maybe

part 1 of 2 (2 is here)

& on ao3

Dutch is pissed that you stormed off after an argument. now you gotta face the consequences >:)

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

You drew in a shaky breath as you made your way through the night, finally heading towards the swamps where Shady Belle lurked. Having spent the last couple of nights busying yourself on the streets and surrounding area of Saint Denis, you missed your bed and the gang, but most of all you missed Dutch. You were scared. Scared to go home, back to camp.

You'd had a disagreement with Dutch and decided there and then the best course of action was to simply leave. In part because you'd had enough of his shit, but also because you had an almost violent need to prove to yourself that you still could survive alone. You didn't need him, not like that. But your heart and soul needed him. He unlocked feelings within you that you had never known, only dreaming of, but god he did grate on you sometimes.

He had insisted you start staying behind on more jobs and it just irked you. Being inconspicuous and nimble was how you found yourself in the gang in the first place, sneaking through windows into people's homestead in the dead of night, quietly robbing them of everything and anything valuable they possessed.

That had sort of become your role in the gang. When Dutch and the boys would go out on a job, you would either join them in whatever scam or con they were cooking up - no one ever suspected you of a thing, you were too polite and innocent with folk to be a no good thief - or would scope out nearby towns and homesteads, sometimes alone, sometimes with Dutch, sometimes with a few of the others, but you were always free to do what you wanted; within Dutchs limitations of course.

But lately, things hadn't always been going to plan. You thought Dutch hadn't been acting quite himself, and you made sure to tell him as much. Ever since Blackwater, and that nasty business in Rhodes, you'd just lost all hope. You weren't seeing life through rose tinted glasses anymore. But you loved Dutch, loved the gang... most of them anyway. As you grew closer to camp, your mind was racing with your last conversation with Dutch.

"Can't you understand, sweet girl? I'm just trying to protect you, keep you safe-" Dutch had told you when you when you confronted him on being left behind for the hundredth time. You'd been repeating yourself a lot lately, as had he with his responses. There was always an amused glint in his eyes, a hint of a smirk daring to poke through on his lips. He found your 'tantrums' adorable and often told you as much.

"Oh don't give me that shit Dutch" you snapped at him "this isn't about keeping me safe, you know damn well I can protect myself! You just adore the idea of having your own personal whore...always waiting around for you an keeping your bed warm!"

You cringed at how you sounded, you knew you were coming off as shrill and your voice died you when you saw Dutch stand from his chair near the fire. The amusement that played on his face before was now replaced with one of annoyance.

"Watch your mouth, girl. I understand you're... upset," he grabbed your hair as he stalked closer to you, twisting it so you gasped as he forced your neck up to look at him. "Don't you dare be forgetting your place now, sweet thing"

"my place!? My place?? so I am just a whore to you-"

"Sweetheart, you know that's not true, but I'm growing increasingly tired of your attitude," he spoke harshly into your ear, before easing his grip on your hair, his voice becoming softer "I've lost too many already, I can't lose you too"

You stiffened as tears threatened to spring to yours eyes.

"I... that's not fair Dutch, if you had just listened-" you tried

"No. Enough. The answer is final. You're to stay here unless I say otherwise. There's nothing more to be said. This is for your own good, girl. I know what's best for you" he let go of your hair completely to tilt your chin up, looking at you with a fierce intensity. You knew, looking into his eyes then, you loved him, so very very much, and you knew he loved you too. But god you were angry. You had survived alone for years without his help, and when you tried to voice that to him, he had already turned away, muttering about wanting to finish off a chapter of his latest read, when something in you just snapped.

"Fuck you, Dutch" you turned and stormed off not awaiting his response. You heard him call your name as you had stomped off. Others had questioned you, asked what was wrong, where you were going...

You climbed onto your horse, ignoring the shouts and questions, and rode out into the night.

That had been two nights ago now, and you regretted your actions. You knew Dutch was trying to keep you safe, you could see that, and if you were being honest with yourself, you didn't mind not having to go out on jobs as much. The thrill you used to feel from robbing bad folk had been replaced by a constant gnawing anxiety that something would go wrong, because more often or not, something usually did go wrong. But rather, it was the way Dutch would talk to you. Belittle you. Insisting it was him and only him that knew what was best for you. If he just listened to you once in a while, actually take your advice on a job, things could go differently, but he was stubborn. You were too, and that was often how you found yourself in disagreements with him. But he'd been worse lately; ignoring your thoughts and feelings on everything, and you just couldn't take it anymore.

You tried to steady yourself as Shady Belle appeared in your eye line. You were doing your best not to think too hard about what Dutch was going to do to you, it was the principle of the thing! But the confidence you had tried to instil in yourself soon vanished once you saw Dutch's' silhouette atop of the balcony. His cigar smoke circling around, clouding his face. Not that you could see him clearly anyway, it was too dark.

You took several deep breaths as you climbed down off your horse. Most of the camp were asleep, but a few were sat talking quietly by the campfire. Their voices cut off as they saw you, rushing over to check on you. You hurriedly reassured them, you were fine, you had just needed space, time to think.

And that's what you done. You knew you had messed up, and honestly right now more than anything you just wanted to feel Dutchs arms around you, telling you what a good girl you were. You craved his praise and affection, but ferociously loved the darker side of him too. One that would come out when you disobeyed or angered him. He had punished you countless times since the start of your relationship, often because you had purposely pushed his buttons too hard, knowing the sort of response you'd get from him. You craved the feeling of being at his complete and utter mercy. Just as Dutch craved having you beneath him, begging for him. He didn't mind your bratty attitude most of the time, using it as a decent excuse to do all the wicked things he had always desired. But this wasn't just pushing his buttons, you knew he would view it as you putting yourself in danger, running off had been the last thing you would usually do, but you were so sick of trying to talk to him when he just never listens.

After assuring the awake gang members of your safety, you found your way into the old Manor house, eerily beautiful at times, even with it being lost past its glory. Slowly heading up the stairs toward your shared room with Dutch. You hesitated as you approached the door, before reaching up to knock. The second your knuckles graced the wood, the door flung open and you found yourself being hauled into the room by Dutch, slamming the door closed and pushing your back up against it, caging his arms against either side of your head. Eyes dark and burning, staring down at you.

"Where have you been, dear girl?" his voice gave you chills, he wasn't yelling, not yet. But there was a tone of malice, a sneer at your audacity. "I've been worried, I sent Arthur and Charles out looking for you, but seems you were too quick even for them. Clever girl" Dutch spoke slowly, and quietly.

You though it best not to mention you had indeed seen the both of them looking for you, but dashed off without a trace before anyone knew otherwise.

His eyes studied your face carefully. You couldn't match his gaze, choosing to stare at the floor. Dutch lifted your chin, encouraging you to look at him.

"Are you hurt, darling?" he asked softly.

You shook your head slowly, trying to keep your breathing steady.

He hummed. His grip on your chin becoming firmer.

"Well then sweet thing, I'm going to need you to explain to me.." Dutchs hand travelled from your chin down to your neck as he spoke, gripping it just hard enough you could feel his rings digging into your flesh, but not so hard that your breathing was fully cut off, "as to why you think running off on your own like that was an okay thing to do, hm?" the hand around your throat became impossibly tight, just for a moment, before easing off again, giving you a moment to respond.

"I... I..." you tried to steady yourself, trying to find the right words to say. ".. I'm sorry, Dutch...really I just, got sick of being spoken to like a damn child and-" Dutchs grip became like iron then, cutting off your planned excuse. A whimper caught in your throat as your hands flew to up grip his wrist, eyes widening. He gave you a dark glare before crashing his lips to yours. It wasn't soft and tender, it was hard and biting. Making sure you understood your place.

"So, my girl," Dutch began as he withdrew the kiss, relaxing his tight grip on your throat, "if I'm to understand you correctly, in response to being supposedly treated like a child, you decided to act none other than a child, a spoilt little brat who's not getting her way?"

Dutch was beginning to sound angrier by the second. You were trying to focus on his words, how much trouble you were in, but you couldn't ignore the tingling between your legs, you could feel yourself getting wetter the deeper his voice became. You were squirming already, trying to maintain a decorum of composure, opening your mouth to respond, he cut you off before you could get the words out.

"Oh sweet thing, you really do test my patience like no other," Dutch spoke, holding you close for a moment, before pushing you into the middle of the room.

"Strip." the order was barked out faster than you could blink. You stood there for a moment too long for Dutch, who practically started growling at you.

"you listening, girl? Strip, now"

You reached around shakily to start unlacing your dress and bodice, whilst Dutch slowly began making his way across the room, bringing a fresh cigar to his mouth to light it.

You were down to your chemise and bloomers, staring up at Dutch, aware of the way he was scowling at you. You weren't trying to annoy him, you were just in awe of him. He always looked so handsome, especially like this. Moonlight beaming in through the windows, giving his glare just enough light to look all the more menacing, yet still somehow so enticing.

You quickly stripped yourself of your remaining garments when he quirked a brow at you, fighting against the urge to cover yourself under Dutchs heavy gaze. He'd seen you naked plenty of times before of course, but the way he was staring at you was making you squirm.

Dutchs eyes raked over your nude form, taking in your beauty for his enjoyment. All the whilst continue to slowly circle around you, enjoying his cigar. Bastard.

"You do understand how much trouble you're in right now, girl?" Dutch said from behind you, his steady pace coming to a stop.

You shivered as he approached, with him being so close you could practically feel the anger radiating off of him.

"I was sick with worry, thinking the worst...and all because my little princess decided to be a brat. Were you trying to scare your Daddy, sweetheart?" Dutch sounded so menacing then, causing you to shiver with anticipation.

"N-no, Dutch-" you were interrupted when you felt a sharp smack on your backside, making you to squeal.

"What was that, girl?" Dutch snarled at you.

"Daddy!" you tried again, "I'm sorry daddy... I didn't mean to..." you started shaking, understanding how worried Dutch really had been.

Dutch hummed behind you, walking around slowly til he was standing in front of you. You stared at the floorboards, fiddling with your fingers. You heard him sigh and walk away, and glanced up to see him disgarding his cigar in the ash tray and sitting on the bed.

"Come on, girl. You know what happens now" Dutch reached a hand out to you, which you took after a moments hesitation, but knew from expierence attempting to get out of a planned punishment usually didn't end too well for you.

Dutch took your hand gently, before hauling you over his knee, considerably less gentle. He only took a brief moment to palm and kneed at your backside before he brought his hand down. Hard. Right on the lower cheek, causing you to gasp out.

"Not going to be able to sit for a week after I'm through with you, brat" Dutch spoke as his hand came down again and again on your ass. You tried not to kick your legs or reach back, it would only egg Dutch on to spank harder. "Maybe I need to start spanking you daily, girl. Make sure you know your place. That you're mine, and you do as I say"

The spanks were quickly became harder and faster, going from cheek to cheek, never giving you a moment to rest, and making sure every inch of your poor butt was on fire.

You were squirming now, and didn't even realise before it was too late that you were reaching a hand back, only to have Dutchs' large hand grip your own, forcing it down to the small of your back. He positioned himself so he could haul you further over his knee, you were able to touch the floor with your free hand, but your feet were now dangling precariously off the other end, unable to touch the floor. You whimpered again.

"Naughty girl," Dutch chided, resuming his former sadistic pace of spanking, "You should know better than that by now, hm?"

"S-sorry Daddy! I... ow... M'sorry, I really really am.." you were really feeling it now, the stinging burn of his hand. Tears were now forming in your eyes. You knew this is what you wanted, no, needed... But it hurt so much, and you were starting to feel more sorry for yourself by the second, and yet, despite this, you still couldn't ignore the wetness that had become visible down your thighs. You knew Dutch could see it too, especially when he would ghost his hand ever so slightly above your glistening folds, growling and giving your pussy a sharp slap if you tried to push your thighs together.

"Quit squriming, brat. Or does Daddy need to teach you a lesson with his belt?" Dutchs sudden threat made you still, letting out a small whine of defeat. You most certainly did not want to expierence the belt tonight, he'd only used it on you a few times before, but the memories of the welts on your backside was enough to plead for mercy.

"I'll be good! Daddy! Please, I'm sorry-I'll be good... I promise.." you sniffled at him, trying to put on your sweetest voice, the one you knew went right to his dick. You could feel his hardness beneath you, doing your best not to grind yourself all over him, a challenge that was proving to become increasingly difficult.

You heard Dutch grumble, taking a moment to run his large hand all over your burning butt, before bringing his hand down over your heat, he suddenly pushed two fingers into your soaking wet core causing you to gasp out and clench up.

"My girl... what ever am I going to do with you, hm? Such a filthy little thing..." Dutchs voice was considerably softer now, but you knew he was still angry. Pumping his fingers in and out of you for a few seconds more, before removing them. You let out a moan, only to have Dutchs fingers shoved in your mouth, encouraging you to clean yourself off of him. He removed them once he felt you'd done a sufficient enough job.

"Gonna have to keep you locked in a damn cage at this rate, girl" Dutchs stern voice made you quiver. And it would be a lie to say the idea of being Dutchs personal play thing, kept locked away in a cage for his desire only, didn't arouse you.

You only had a brief moment more to fantasise on this idea however, before Dutch suddenly started spanking you again. Somehow, impossibly harder than before. You shrieked then, begging him to forgive you, promising complete obedience.

Dutch laughed at that, loud and mocking.

"Empty promises, my sweet girl. How many times have you promised those pretty words before, hm? You really are shameless aren't you? Naughty, naughty little thing..."

The smacks continued to rain down, Dutch would spank all over until he found a spot that made you whail, bringing his down on the exact same spot over and over again, chuckling at your futile attempts to avoid his wrath.

You wanted nothing more in that moment for Dutch to pull you into this arms and call you his good girl, tell you proud he was of you and all that you had done. But this wasn't one of those times, you deserved the punishment and you were starting to resent yourself for having such a strange desire to defy him, even his most simplist of requests you often found yourself snarling back at him, just so you could hear that tone of voice he used on you when you were pushing your luck a little too far.

You were sobbing now, giving up any and all attempts to get out of your current situation. Letting yourself go limp and weak over Dutchs knee. You heard him hum above you, the spanks ever so slowly becoming softer and softer, until they'd all but stopped. Dutchs hand being nothing more than a soothing grace.

"Beautiful..." you heard him whisper above you, relaxing into the soothing feel of his hand, a welcome change from the pain inflicted only moments before.

You started to apologise again, only to have Dutch hush you.

"No you're not girl, not yet anyway..." Dutch sounded horribly wicked as he spoke, and your stomach dropped with the realisation that your punishment wasn't over.

#Dutch van der linde #Dutch x reader #Nsft #P kinky this my dudes #also on ao3 but my high ass is not looking for that link rn #Rdr2 fanfic #Dutch van der linde x reader #Fic

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jlf23tumble · 3 years

Note

Hey Jen. I think you’re superb like in a (not to quote anyone but) you can sit and kind of admire what you’re like kind of way. So thanks for being awesome and enjoyable to this internet stranger. In unrelated matter, do you have any angst filled fics? I mostly read HL but I’ll dive into whatever as long as the pain is there. (If I can give a preference, I’m not so much into magic, fantasy, wolves, and sorts.) In these unprecedented times, I think I’d still need a happy ending though after the characters suffer terribly lol. If you find time to put something together for little old moi, I’d appreciate it very much. Thanks! Keep on keeping on! You’re wonderful!

<bryan_cranston_me_question_mark.gif> !!!!!!!!!! This is so incredibly kind, I think you’re pretty wonderful, too! I feel like I’m probably going to let you down here, though, because I generally don’t go too hard for angst (for one, it usually translates into longer fics, for two, some areas of true angst are just things I don’t really want to read for pleasure, like messy cheating aftermaths, abuse, character death, etc., and for three, I get lost in the sauce if I try too hard to dissect if something actually IS major angst versus, say, intense pining), but I’ll do my best! I’m going to give my dirty dozen here--my top 12 for hl--then I’ll dive deeper under the cut, with authors I love who write so much angst it’s tough to pick just one, plus other fandoms, too, in case you want to dive deeper.

Fertile Ground, Blake, 4.4k. Okay, in truth, so much of what Blake writes has gorgeous lashings of angst, so definitely read all of their fic (every fandom), but this one?? HOLY MOLY, it deserves to be separated and celebrated, Harry’s angst about fertility, howwwwww is this 4.4k, I ask, constantly?

sensitive to pressure, momentofclarity/ @gaycousinlarry, 4.4k. Hockey players and pubes and scent kinks, and yet there’s still this current of angst that thrums underneath, man oh man, would I read everything in this universe.

Everything You Do, jishler/ @jishlerfics, 6.6k. The third part of a stunning series, this one focusing on Harry’s gender identity and the Dunkirk haircut, and if you saw those recent gifsets with him wearing the beanie during training, yeah, this fic is alllll about it

i’m a captain on a jealous sea, devilinmybrain/ @thedevilinmybrain, 15k. A lot of jealousy on Louis’s part about all things Gryles, both real and imagined, I’m loving the vibes this author brings to it all.

taking tips and getting stoned, alison, 24k. I don’t think I can sum this one up quickly, but taxi driver Louis comes across singer Harry, and a lot of things change after that? God, that’s bad, but this fic is not!

hard to confess, @hereforlou, 24k. I adore Maggie’s writing so much, and she’s another one where I could rec at least three more here, but the one where Harry hides that he’s pregnant until the very last second? It’ll forever be the scorpio of mpreg fics, and I say that with the highest praise.

Maybe I Miss You series, 13ways, 28k. THIS SERIES, ooooooooffffff, the angstometer is off the chart, and then the last installment? Harry in makeup? This after all the sexting and boxing and hate sex and finally they figure their shit out? All of it is so good, and I’m eternally sad the author moved on (but jesus, I get it).

hush., Wankerville, 41k. Easily in my top five fics of any fandom, the softness and the cruelty, the growth and the real-life feels, an American high school AU that is still stunning and must have blown doors off back in that particular day (I’d also rec this author’s other work, esp. for angst).

every universe but ours, 28finelines, 49k. Okay, so this one has a little bit of magic that might annoy you, but it’s mostly in a multiverse way, like you’re reading a ton of AUs, but the theme itself has an angsty core, fwiw!

Truly, Madly, Deeply (10 Things I Hate about You), sunsetmog, 54k. I know I talk a LOT about this author’s ongoing wip, Harry Styles Cooks... (which is phenomenal, please do yourself a favor if you haven’t already), but this one? Angst ahoy, Harry auditions for XFUK without telling his boyfriend/friends, becomes a success, then comes home.

Time Passed, coffinofachimera/ @belialsmiracles, 66k. For every fic rec list I make, I always have at least one fic where I say, if you read nothing else, read this one, AND THIS IS IT, all categories, it’s simply astounding, life-changing, world-ending, and it kills me that more people haven’t left comments, but if it keeps shitty comments away, I’m all for it, I’ll protect this author/fic with my life. I can’t even begin to describe it, but if you want to know what the songs Fine Line or She are about, here you go! AIMH, Tokyo Harry!

The World Turned Upside Down, dogslpdi/ @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram, 71k. I’m really iffy on historical fics, but this fic! This fic nails it! The detail and the emotion, the way you can feel the effects of the strike in so many ways, but also how HIV/AIDS is not that far off on the horizon, it’s just so well done. Plus, I adore Ralph’s humor and the way she tagged this both “minor angst” and “miner angst,” and if I can’t end an angst rec on a light note, what more can I do?

Let’s start with things beyond hl...lately, I’ve been reading a LOT of Untamed fic, and I feel like I should just point you to Liv’s masterlists because they are angst city (and fun city, too), plus she’s done a really good job of labeling them accordingly (right now, my fave angst is from chunk no. 2, Fire in the Blood, which is a case fic, but oof, I can’t wait to read even more in these parts).

I’m also just now getting into Merlin and reading a lot in that fandom, but it’s a bit scattershot at this stage (I haven’t finished the show yet, and I’m still working my way through one author who wrote 100+ fics, all of which are incredible; if you’re curious for something recent from over there, Phoenix wrote a short, angsty one that’s good and ouchy, this tangled thicket).

Speaking of Phoenix, EVERYTHING she has written for Cars (Lightning/Doc) is incredibly angsty, usually with that happy ending finale--I’d rec my current fave, but it’s a wip, so no happy ending yet, wahhh. Check out this link to the rest of them, though, I rec ‘em all!

I still have to watch the source material, but everything anyone’s sent me from Cobra Kai is INCREDIBLY angsty and so, so good, so I’m gonna bet there’s a fair bit of fix-it fic in my future, but we shall see!

Now onto the hl angst, ideally things you haven’t already read a million times before. Like I said earlier, this one’s kind of tough because I’m not into intense angst (major character/close family member death, messy cheating aftermath--though @kingsofeverything’s Devil and the Deep Blue Sea is fantastic, if you’re into that [messy cheating aftermath, not death]; actually, a lot of Lauren’s longer fics have a dose of angst, so dive away!)

Speaking of authors who regularly deliver angst, I have quite a few that I would say just go check out their works because almost every single thing they’ve done has it in varying degrees, you won’t be disappointed! These authors primarily write the hl pairing, and I definitely rec ‘em all: HappyPrincess, got2ghost, mediaville, and sedfierisentio. Authors I love who write Harry/other characters and do it in a hella angsty way include vondrostes, sulkingroom, radiodurans, and wishforwishes (I swear, I still think about call me anything you like at least once a month).

#fic rec #one direction #angst #for someone who hates it i sure have a lot of it

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salty-but-bland · 3 years

Text

Beta @amasaiweek day 5: lullaby/silence

I'll post days 3 and 4 probably either today or tomorrow- I've had a headache and it's taking away from my art/writing motivation

Also those two days are gonna be hella angsty so look out

@kagazuly au credit

No trigger warnings, just fluff

-----------------------------------------------------

Rantaro Amami, the one the others all knew as the Ultimate War Medic, wandered the halls of the school he'd known for just a couple weeks but that already felt like a home. Not that he'd really miss this place, once his research paid off and they could finally end the killing game for good. He just liked to enjoy the little good things in all this while they lasted, like Miu and Kirumi's homemade breakfasts and Kaito's dumb card game. Like the time they all changed into comfortable clothes to spite Monokuma. Like when Miu and Angie teamed up to paint memories for those who couldn't let them go. Like the occasional therapy meetings they could always count on to raise their hopes. Those one-on-one sessions with...

Korekiyo.

Tsumugi's kille-

No. The medic stopped himself. It won't matter, past tomorrow. We'll create an unsolvable mystery, him and I, and the mastermind will have no choice but to reveal themselves. And when that happens, all of us will stop this cruel game together, and we'll be free to escape and live our lives as we want. Whether that be together or not.

It was then that the sound of his footsteps was accompanied by another, softer sound. Violin. Shuichi's lab was abuzz with the music, most likely being played for himself or Kirumi. Rantaro creeped closer, not wanting his steps to overshadow the beautiful, hopeful melody.

He sat and leaned against the wall, sighing. This late at night, the music was welcome among the usual dead silence and despair in the halls. It was a light, a light that made the darkness around him feel... warm. Peaceful. Something he hadn't felt since the beginning of this cruel game.

It would all be over tomorrow.

So why not enjoy what's left today?

He had come this far, after all. He deserved a little break.

He shut his eyes and let the soft melody slowly lull him to sleep.

...

The blonde boy stepped carefully out of his lab for the night, not wanting to wake anyone up. Closing the door behind him, he realized a shadowy figure lay against the wall nearby. A body? A person waiting to kill him? The mastermind? His mind raced, but the shadow didn't move. He decided to investigate and saw... Rantaro? The person who'd been holed up in Ryoma's lab all these days, barely seen by the others? Out here in the open? And he was fast asleep, too. Not at all like how he normally acted.

If they wanted to, he thought, the mastermind could kill Rantaro right now, make it look like I or another person did it. He's so vulnerable out here, and he's an important part of our group, and- Shuichi sat down next to the medic, determined to keep watch over him for the night.

Although he must have fallen asleep sometime, he knew, or else he wouldn't have woken up with his head leaning on Rantaro's shoulder.

#danganronpa #drv3 #beta au #amasai week 2021 #amasai #ndrv3 #rantaro is so ooc rn but whatever

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jaalismyhusband · 3 years

Text

Magical apple

Title: Magical apple

Pairings: Chris Evans x f!reader

Warnings: RPF, tooth-rotting, cheesy stuff, me not knowing where to put commas (yikes XD)

Wordcount: 1.7k

A/N: Hi, everyone! *ehm* this was supposed to be a drabble, but I snapped. Thanks to my brain for the prompt, this was a very pleasant dream to dream, buddy. Anyways! Hope you enjoy this floofy piece, because I’ve got a hella angsty WiP series about Geralt a.k.a. the butcher of my heart. Thanks for reading!!

beta’d by @6crazyboutcruise9

Masterlist

You were working as a professor at the local university. You always knew, that forcing students to attend your classes was no way to make them like you and actually listen. No, you had to engage with them outside of the class too. So, you focused not only on the lectures, but on the out-of-school activities as well. That meant organizing some charity work, workshops, debates with interesting people and so on.

To say you were shocked when you booked Chris Evans for one of the debates, would be an understatement. You were even more nervous than your students, but you couldn’t let it show. Being the ever-supporting professor, you reassured them that they will do just fine, because they were your smart students after all. They seemed to relax a bit at that.

Encouraged, you all went to greet Mr. Evans and you offered him a coffee, which he was quick to accept. You could sense he was upset about something, but it wasn’t your place to ask him what’s wrong. Soon after your interaction, he was ushered on the stage by another professor, who shoved a microphone in his hand, wishing him good luck.

The lecture went splendidly, now it was time for an autograph session, where students could get their own three minutes with Mr. Evans. One of your colleagues announced it and students were quick to form a line.

It seemed like it went on and on for hours, but Mr. Evans was somehow still polite to every single person. Even if the questions were repetitive, he answered them with patience. You were near him, just in case he needed something. However, you were a single woman as well, so from time to time your eyes may or may not have lingered on him longer, than they should’ve.

You mentally scolded yourself and focused on the actual questions he was being asked. You were proud of your students for coming up with the interesting, difficult, philosophical and even some weird questions. Thankfully, they hadn’t asked about personal things, until they did. The line was coming to an end and now it was mostly students from other classes, even other schools. You could tell those questions were bothering Mr. Evans and it was only adding to his frustration.

“Next!” you called. There was only one person left, a young girl.

“Finally!” she huffed as she came up to Mr. Evans. “So, I don’t have time for you, I only want you to give my number to Tom Holland.” With that she dropped a piece of paper on the table in front of him, turned on her heels and left. Without saying hi, please or bye. He looked almost frozen as he tried to take in what had just happened. You wanted to comfort him somehow, but his manager had already asked to follow him. You watched them leave next door, where you had previously set up a kind of a break room for him.

An idea popped up in your mind. You went to your cabinet and made him a fresh coffee. You were impatient and excited to have only as much as five minutes alone with him. You poured the coffee in the take-it-to-go cup and hurried to the next room. Just as you neared the door, they opened and you saw his manager leave, meaning you would, indeed, be alone with him. Perfect, you thought as you entered.

He was leaning back in the chair, with his hair all fluffy. Your eyes ran over his face, finding his brows adorably scrunched above his closed eyes, his beard trimmed neatly. A cozy looking blue sweater hid his muscled torso and the dark jeans hugged his thighs, rushing bunch of sinful thoughts through your mind.

“Are you going to say something or just keep staring?” his deep voice startled you from your daydream. You mumbled a quick apology and tried to hide the creeping blush on your face.

“Mr. Evans, I noticed your first coffee went cold, so I thought I’d make you a fresh one.” You offered him a warm smile along with the cup.

“Y/N, right? Thanks, that’s very considerate of you. And, please, call me Chris.” You swore he winked at you just before bringing the cup to his mouth, taking a sip of the steamy beverage. You felt your face heating up again and you squirmed under his gaze.

Leaning on the wall, you let him enjoy his coffee in silence. You used the moment to gather all molecules of bravery in you to ask him: “I don’t mean to be nosy, but you seemed distressed earlier…”

“You mean even before that cherry on top of the autograph session? I guess, I’m not as good of an actor as I thought I was.” You appreciated him trying to lift the mood, but something about his face expression told you, he didn’t want you to let it go.

“No need to put on a brave face, here. I’ll tell you what, Chris. There’s a really nice park near here. Aaand I’ve been told I’m a good listener. So, what do you say to a walk? If you don’t mind me being so forward, of course.” You seemed to realize your words too late, as they already hung heavy in the air. You just asked THE Chris Evans out. An unnerving silence occurred as you awaited his answer.

“Why the hell not,” he sighed.

“Perfect,” you smiled at him. “Let me just get my things and I’ll meet you outside in 5.” With that you left, still unable to believe you were about to hang out with literally a man of your dreams.

As promised, you joined him in front of the building and led him to the park. You spent those few minutes getting to know each other a little bit and, if you weren’t any wiser, you would have said that Chris was flirting with you.

You arrived to the park, taking a stroll, admiring the blooming flowers. It was a warm spring afternoon, summer was just around the corner. You arrived to a small secluded spot with a table and benches on either side.

“This is where I spend my lunch breaks. It’s my special place.” You smiled, reminiscing of all the times you got lost in a book, ate your favourite food, hell, even cried over bad days in this very spot.

“I’m honoured,” joked Chris. You playfully smacked his arm and ordered him to sit down. He caught you off guard when he chose a seat next to you, rather than the opposite one.

“I can’t tell you how many bad days have been eliminated here. This place is indeed magical. You wanna try?”

“Sure.” He proceeded to tell you about his rough past days. As you were listening, you found yourself hanging on every word he said, you seemed almost bewitched by his soothing voice. You didn’t have to force yourself to listen, you simply did. It was so easy to get lost in the conversation with him, even though it wasn’t about pleasant topic.

“Sometimes, I just want to be an ordinary person like everyone else and not have to deal with people like that girl, for example. Gosh, I don’t know why, but that really got under my skin.” He finished his rant and you reassured, that it’s fine to feel that way.

“That girl was probably just the breaking point, I wouldn’t fuss ‘bout her. Here,” you reached into your bag and pulled out an apple, “this will make you feel better.” You placed it in front of him, and nudged him to take a bite.

“An apple?” he burst out laughing. Your cheeks were hot by now, no doubt.

“It’s a… Magical apple?” that only seemed to make him laugh more, as he leaned back in his seat, touching his chest. If you weren’t upset about him laughing at your offering, you would’ve found the gesture cute.

It was a yummy looking apple, though. If he isn’t going to eat it, then I will, you thought as you reached for the apple. However, he must’ve changed his mind, because he, too, reached for it, making your hands touch. You felt like in a scene from a romcom, as you felt a spark when your fingers brushed against each other.

You were too flustered to say anything, when he gave you a heart-melting smile. He seemed to lean in. When did he get so close?!

“Chris…” you whispered, your mouth dry, all of a sudden. He shushed you and pecked your lips, leaving you even more flustered. Your ears were burning, and you immediately pulled your hands to cover your face, leaving the apple unguarded.

“Got it!” he triumphantly said and took a bite of the apple, exaggerating the moans: “Mhm, you said this was magical?”

“Not fair, sir! You used your charm to distract me!” you played along, pouting.

“Hm, you think I’m charming?” he seemed amused by how shy you were and how easy it was to get you flustered.

“Shut up, you know what I meant.” You huffed in defeat as you crossed your arms on your chest. Chris only smirked as he finished the apple.

After a while you shivered, the warm afternoon turned into a chilly night. Neither of you noticed, too enthralled in each other.

Chris didn’t miss how you hugged your arms, desperately trying to warm yourself up.

“You’re cold?” It was more a statement, than a question, but you still nodded, anyway. He took off his sweater, leaving him only in a plain white short-sleeve.

“Here, put it on.” He grabbed your arms, to pull them up, in order to dress you.

“No, really, it’s fine. You don’t have to do this.” You whined, but it fell on deaf ears. Chris dressed you in his sweater and you had no say in it. To be honest, you weren’t about to complain. Musky smell with hints of cedarwood engulfed you and you almost snuggled into the sweater more, but stopped yourself at the last moment, not wanting to be weird.

“Thanks,” you shyly said, as you took in his broad shoulders and big arms. Arms, that were totally bare, because of you.

“Ohmygod! You’ll get cold!” Without thinking you hugged him tightly, only for him to wrap his arms around your small frame.

“As long as you’re with me, I’ll never get cold,” he whispered into your hair, after he left a small kiss on your temple.

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans ff #chris evans fluff #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #fanfiction #fluff #tom holland #rpf #rpf fanfic #real person fiction

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beautifulchaostrash · 4 years

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Hi! could I get some fluff with Lester Sinclair and a female S/O? like a date, they go to the woods to search for animal bones and other cool stuff that can be found in the forest and at some point they get lost because they were too distracted being adorable? thank you so much!!!💞💞💞💞 love ya! hope you're doing well💞

A Paisley Afternoon

Lester Sinclair x Fem!Reader

SFW, mentions of abuse, swearing

Word count: 4,884

assasdjhajfsgawgeu you are SO sweet! QwQ I hope you’re doing good as well!

Quick disclaimer: I have not seen the House of Wax, and I haven’t really written for the Sinclair brothers that much, so if their characterization seems off plz let me know! This was hella fun to write and I’m super glad you requested this! (I’m also lowkey simping for Lester Sinclair, what have u done to me)

I know u asked for fluff and while this mostly is, I made the ending kinda angsty cause I can’t help myself...T-T but it has a happy ending tho

cut because this is a loooong ass fic

“S-so uh, Y/N! V-Vinnie asked me to uh, go get some stuff from the forest, ya know, for his artstuffs? And uh, ‘was wonderin’ if you wanted to come with, since yer a big fan of nature and stuff, heh. I-if you don’t that’s ok I understand I-”

You silenced his nervous rambling with a kiss on the cheek.

“I’d love to! Could we make it a picnic? I don’t get to cook for you often,” you hummed.

Lester blushed a deep red. “Y-yeah if you wanna, I’d love that...uh, m-meet you at our usual spot? Four pm?”

“I’ll see you then!” You gave him a chaste kiss on the lips before turning to go back into the house.

He gawked for a minute before jogging down the porch steps, stammering his goodbyes. He drove off as if he had gotten de-pantsed during gym class and was retreating to hide out his shame in the locker room.

...

He would never call this a date. Not in a million years. After all ‘Dates are s'posed to be nice and fancy, and if there’s one thing I ain’t it’s that!’. Lester’s self-deprecating humor came back in your mind as you sat on the edge of the boarded-up well. The well served as your go-to meet spot for these kinds of outings.

Even though you had both been dating for years, Lester always treated every date as if it were his first. As if he couldn't believe that you wanted to spend time with him. It broke your heart to think about, but it was sweet in away.

Every time he came up with an excuse. ‘Bo wants me out of the house for the evening'...'We need more parts for the House of Wax, and I need some help'... 'You’ve spent a lot of time inside lately, you should go on a walk'! And I’ll come with to protect you in case people come by.’ But you knew better.

You knew that Lester was too nervous to ask you outright. You’re snapped out of your daydream by the slam of a car door. Looking up to see Lester jogging towards you, Jonsey following close behind.

“S-sorry I’m late! Lost track of ti-...Y/N! How many times have I told you not to sit on that well!?!” he picked up his pace, sprinting to where you sat.

You sheepishly stood up, not noticing that you had been leaning on it in the first place.

“Sorry sweetheart, guess I jus’ got tired,”

He pulled you into a tight hug, then pulled away to check your body for injuries. He was like a flustered mother goose, almost.

“That well is ancient, why it-it was 'prolly here before Bo and Vinnie were even born! If you p-put too much weight on it, it could-”

“Collapse and I could get hurt, I know, I know. Gah! You worry too much darling,” You stood on your tiptoes to press a kiss into the bridge of his nose.

He stood back and put his hands on his hips, eyeing you up and down.

“Why I oughta-” He wagged a finger in your direction.

“What? You oughta what? What’re you gonna do huh?” you smirked and leaned into him, tilting your head.

“I oughta…” He trailed off at your sudden challenge, blushing hard.

His eyes widened and a mischievous grin spread across his face.

“I oughta kiss you, fer being so reckless!” He crossed his arms.

You giggled and put a hand over your forehead. “Oh no! What a tragedy! Forced to kiss the most handsome man in the world! Whatever shall I do???”

You sank to the ground and leaned against Jonsey, putting a hand to your forehead. Lester looked down at his feet and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Aww shucks!” He muttered.

You jumped up, wrapping your arms around his waist and ghosting your lips against his. Lester pressed his hands against your waist and closed the distance between you two. You stayed connected for a moment, savoring the tangy taste of sweat and dirt on your tongue. You only broke away when you heard Jonesy snuffling around in the picnic basket you brought with. After shooing her away from your food, Lester went back to his truck to gather his bag, and you were both on your way.

You and Lester walked through the forest, taking your time to pick your way for the undergrowth. Even though you both did this often, and usually traveled the same path each time, you never failed to find stuff.

Jonesy, not learning her lesson from the last time, went after a badger and got her ass kicked again. Leading to a very angry rant from Lester, even though she couldn’t understand what she was saying.

Even though you were looking for animal bones, anything was game. From discarded beer cans to cool looking rocks, weird plants, whatever you managed to find.

You both stopped in a small clearing, the trees were sparser here and the grass a bit taller. A perfect place for treasures to hide. Lester beamed, moving to start sifting through the vegetation. You set your basket down nearby and followed suit, hiking up your pant legs to avoid the mud.

A few minutes and a couple of oddly shaped rocks later, Lester called out to you. He showed off a very excellent stick, that was a bit shorter than him and looked thick and sturdy. He handed it to you, proclaiming that it was going to be your 'wizard staff'.

“Wizard staff?” you chuckled, grabbing the stick from his hands.

“Why yes! You are the most magical person I’ve met! You’ve got to be some sort of powerful enchantress! Sein' as you’ve put a spell on my heart~” he smiled and grabbed you by the waist, leaning down to kiss you.

You gasped when he pulled away, blushing at his cheesy comments. You sure as shit weren’t gonna let him get away with it without firing back with some of your own.

“That’s funny, seeing as you’re the one who’s charmed me~” you whispered in his ear, your breath hot on his sensitive skin.

You spun around and stooped down to pick through the grass, ignoring his flustered gaping. He smiled and kneeled next to you in the dirt, enjoying the silence of the forest.

You both trek on for another hour or so, before finding a level area near a creek to collapse and have lunch. You made quick work, unfurling the blanket and setting out the food. You tossed a few treats towards Jonsey to make sure your meal wouldn't get sacrificed.

You fell onto the ground with a thud, letting your aching muscles relax. Even though it wasn't hot out, the humidity made doing anything outside torture. You don't know how Lester managed to do it every day.

“You need to eat, here d-drink some water,” he pushed a canteen into your hands along with a sandwich.

“Water?” Taking a swig from the canteen, you smirked. “Why, I think you have more than quenched my thirst, gorgeous~”

Lester went red from ear to ear as he realized that you were ogling his backside while he rummaged around in his bag. He flushed and sat down next to you, suddenly very invested in the ham sandwich in front of him. You finished your sandwich and leaned against his shoulder. Lester blushed and started stammering. You silence him with a kiss, one hand moving to cup his cheek, the other moving to his chest.

He reciprocated, wrapping his arms around your waist and deepening the kiss. His lips slid against yours, chapped and sweaty, and tasting faintly of blood. It was more than gross, it was ghastly, repulsive even, and yet so so addicting. Every time you think you get enough of him he leaves you yearning for more. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought him to be a succubus or some kind of land-dwelling siren.

But nope, it was just Lester. Lester bringing you gifts in the form of wildflowers, pretty rocks, and books. Lester giving you full-throated, heartfelt praise and sappy comments. Lester giving you more passion and love and charm in one smile than anyone else could give you in a lifetime. Bo may be a smooth-talking seducer, but Lester? Lester was straight up husband material, and it made your heart melt.

And it made other things melt as well, you realized as you were craving more of him. You opened your mouth slightly, pushing your tongue on his lips to savor more of that sickly sweet taste. He obliged you, parting his lips to brush your tongues together. Straddling his waist, you press your body against his, leveraging a more intimate kiss.

He gave out a small groan, which only spurned you on further. Your hand reached down to pull at the hem of his shirt, when his rough hands gripped your hips and pulled you off of him.

“Not in front of Jonesy!” he hissed into your ear.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the notion.

“Jonsey? Babe, she’s just a dog she doesn’t care what we’re doin’, she doesn’t even understand what sex is!”

He puffed up , a bit offended by your words. “She is not jus’ a dog, she is an innocent creature and does not deserve to be exposed to that kind o’ stuff!”

You snickered again, conceding defeat. “Alright alright, but you owe me, mister,” you teased.

He smiled and kissed the top of your head as you snuggled into his side.

“Don’ worry bout a thing darlin’, I always pay my debts,”

You both relaxed, exchanging kisses and occasionally commenting about work, or the weather. After a while, you both decided it was time to move on, and you packed up camp.

As you stopped to refill the canteens from the creek, your eye noticed something odd in the water.

Upon closer inspection, you realized it was a very smooth rock. You, of course, fished it out to take home with you. Only then did you realize what about it that had caught your eye in the first place. The rock itself was a dark color, flat, and about the same circumference as a small wine bottle. Right smack in the middle of the rock was a hole going clear through to the other side.

Your jaw dropped. It was a hag stone. You had heard of them before but had never expected to ever find one naturally occurring. They were ridiculously rare and only formed under specific circumstances. Even though it seemed to be a bit silly, you mentally thanked the forest and the creek for giving you such a gift. “Lester!” you called out. “Come look at what I found!”

You ran over to him and dropped the stone into his palm. His eyes widened, his fingers running over the smooth surface, tracing the round hole.

“You found this in th’ creek?” he held the stone up to his face and peered through the hole curiously.

“Yeah! It was just sitting there,”

“Well I’ll be, I never seen anything like it!”

“They’re called Hag Stones! It's rumored they hold powerful magic, since they're only created through natural means,”

Lester hummed and pushed the stone back into your hands.

“That’s a real hell of a find y/n!” He smiled.

You palmed the rock, thinking for a moment. An idea popped into your head.

“Say Lester do you have any rope or string?” you asked.

He nodded and went to retrieve it from his pack. It was a small bundle of thin para-cord, stolen off some unfortunate tourist.

“Perfect!” you beamed.

Taking the loose end, you compared the length to your neck to gauge it, then took a small pocket knife and cut the rope. Looping one end through the hole in the rock, then tying both ends in a secure knot. Beckoning Lester to lean down, you looped the necklace over his head, leaving it to rest on his neck . He looked down at it and smiled.

“When Hag Stones are worn around the neck like this, they make the wearer pretty much immune to curses and bad luck. It’s even said that if you look through it, you’ll be able to see into the kingdom of the Fae Folk! And because we found this one in the forest, it grants you favor with the tree spirits!” you bit your tongue and blushed, realizing how silly and hippy-dippy you sounded.

“‘Course that’s just all legend, but it is still pretty though, and I think it suits you nicely.”

Lesters’ eyes widened, and he tried to lift the stone from around his neck. “I can't! Y-you need this more than me!”

You snatched his hands from the cord and laced your fingers in his, shrugging.

“You deserve it baby, you deserve to be protected. You deserve to be happy and loved too! I’m plenty safe with you and Jonesy around. It’s your turn to be taken care of,” you leaned and pressed your forehead against his.

Reaching up, you rubbed his cheek, surprised when your hand came away wet. Looking up you saw that he was crying.

“Oh, Lester? What’s wrong sweetie?” you wiped away the streams of tears with your thumbs.

“N-nothing I just-” he closed his eyes and let out a choked sob. His hands came to rest atop yours. “No one’s ever t-told me that, that i d-deserve to be happy and s-safe!”

He burrowed his face in your shoulder and sobbed. You stood and held him there, rocking back and forth while rubbing circles on his back in through his hair. His arms gripped you tight enough to hurt, but you didn’t mind. Even as you cooed and shushed him, anger bubbled behind your soothing tone.

You were furious. Furious at his parents for treating him like he didn’t exist, at Bo for bullying him constantly, and at Vincent too. Even though Vincent wasn’t as nasty, he still brushed Lester off like a horsefly that wouldn’t leave him alone. When Lester tried to talk to him, show him something, even just say hi, Vincent would always sign the same things.

‘I’m busy,’

‘Go bother Bo,’

‘Lester please, I have a headache, be quiet,’

It made your blood boil and your vision go red. Yeah sure, Vincents’ mute and can’t eat or smile without his deformity causing him pain. Bo was treated like the devil incarnate by his parents in favor of Vincents’ artistic talent. But they had the same fucking parents. The same fucking childhood. The least they could do is treat him like something more than a piece of dirt. Some days you wondered if they even cared about him.

You snapped out of your ire when Lester pulled you into a tender kiss, lower lip still trembling slightly. You pulled back and planted kisses all over his face, on his nose, chin, eyelid, everywhere. He devolved into a fit of wet giggles, his nose crinkling as your lips tickled his handsome features. He wiped his eyes again and looked you in the eyes lovingly.

“I love you, Y/N,”

“I love you too, Lester,”

You smiled and gave him one final kiss. He beamed. Taking the stone, he held it up to his eye, peering through the hole at you.

“Well hey! Would’ya lookit that! I’ve already found myself a fairy! And a mighty cute one at that!~”

You giggled and pushed him away bashfully. “Go pack up the rest of our stuff ya goofball!”

>>>>>

Following the river, you continued to look for stuff along the winding trail. You snagged a pretty decent haul, all things considered. Animal bones and carcasses and rocks and some jewelry left behind by a camper. Nothing really out of the norm for the pair of you, and things were going great.

That is until you realize too little too late, that the sun had all but set, and left you in the dark with no idea of where you are. You tried to follow the creek down back the way you came and kept following it. And kept following it, and….

��Lester? I don’t recognize any of this…”

You hoped that Lester would put on his brave act and reassure you that yes, Y/n. He knew the woods like the back of his hand and that you would be home in no time. You did not get that.

“Yeah, me neither, I don’ know where the hell we ended up. It’s too dark for me to read my compass an’ I left the flashlights at Ambrose ‘cause I didn’t think we’d be out past dark,” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone. “Ah, damn it’s dead! Knew I shoulda charged it before I left this morning! Did you bring yours?”

The lack of panic and fear in his voice made your skin crawl. How the hell is he so calm??? And no, you didn’t bother to bring your phone with you this time, not wanting to be annoyed with phone calls from work. Lester seemed to notice your mounting panic and quickly set about comforting you.

“Y/N! Y/n, dont be upset, we’ll be ok! You got me an' Jonesy here to protect you. I’m pretty sure that this creek leads to the main road, and we can follow the road back to Ambrose. You have extra food in that basket right?”

“Uh, yeah, treats for Jonesy, some apples and an extra sandwich I think, and we have water in the canteens still,”

“Alrighty then, If worse comes to absolute worse, we’ll make camp for the night in the forest. Then I can make a fire and we’ll head out in th mornin' when it’s light out, ok? Hey…” He reached out and put a hand on your shoulder. “We’re gonna be ok.” he said with an air of finality, putting you somewhat at ease and strenghtening your resolve.

You continued to follow the creek, holding hands so you wouldn’t get separated. You walked on for what seemed like hours, but eventually, you came across the road Lester talked about. You would’ve cried out for joy if you weren't so goddamn tired. You hadn’t realized how far you went into the forest. Lester stepped out into the middle of the road and looked towards the sky, looking for something. You stepped out and looked up with him. You gasped at the sight of the sky. You had never seen so many stars in the sky before. Well, that’s a lie, Lester took you stargazing often, but it still stole your breath every time.

“Fuck” he whispered under his breath. “It’s a new moon,”

“Why’s that bad?” you asked.

“Can’t tell which way east is, ‘least not very easily,” he muttered.

He scanned the sky further, peering at it with an intense stare. Even though you were horribly, horribly lost, you were happy to be able to spend time with Lester. A little bit of impromptu stargazing was also a plus.

“Jesus, you think after a while i’d start to remember to bring the flashlights, huh? Guess you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” He chuckled.

You reached out for Lesters’ hand again, squeezing it gently. He continued to curse under his breath before giving up on whatever it was he was looking for. “Y/N, I’m really sorry this turned into such a shitshow, I-”

“It’s ok pumpkin, shit happens sometimes. The only thing we can really do is try to do better next time,”

“Yeah, I guess,”

You both stood there staring at the sky, not knowing what to do or where to go from here. So you stood, and stared at the sky, in the middle of the road, like a couple o’ crazies.

You were so lost in thought that you didn’t notice the car approaching you in the road. A door slammed, jarring you out of your stupor. You rubbed your eyes, stuggling to adjust to the birghtness of the headlights. You heard a voice call out.

“Lester? Jonesy?” it was Bo, of all people, and he seemed to be somewhat concerned for once in his goddamn life.

“Yeah we are we, just got,” Lester was cut off, the worry vanishing from Bo in an instant once he realized you guys were ok.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!? IT’S ALMOST ONE IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND YOU GUYS SAID YOU WOULD BE BACK AT DAWN!!!” he roared. “You haven’t been answering your phone Lester, and YOU, for whatever fucking reason, decided to leave yours at home, what in the fuck happened?!?”

“We got lost,” Lester shrugged.

“Lost?” he hissed. “Fucking lost? Let me guess, asswipe didn’t bother to bring flashlights did he?” Bo asked you, sarcasm and venom dripping from his voice like sour honey.

He was about to launch into another bought of cursing, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Bo whipped around to face his twin, who signed something quickly. You couldn’t make it out in the darkness, but whatever he said, it pissed Bo off.

“Don’t you fuckin’ ‘Bo’ me, I’m tired of this lardass going ‘round ‘causin trouble!” He whipped towards you and jabbed his finger in your face. “And you! You-”

Something inside you snapped. You were exhausted, in pain, and flat out sick of everything.

“What?! I’m what Bo? I’m a worthless, good for nothin’ piece o shit? Huh? Just like your FUCKING BROTHER HUH?!?”

“Ya know what, now that you say it-” he smirked.

CRACK The air around you was still, and thick. Bo doubled over, trying to comprehend what happened. You clenched your jaw, refusing to show tears on your face, even as pain blossomed through your joints.

“Not another fucking word out of your goddamn mouth, Bo Sinclair, or so help me god I’m gonna be the one gluing your lips shut! Got it?” your voice quaked low and dangerous, and even Bo knew better than to try and talk back.

“The way you treat Lester is fucking shameful! The ONLY thing you seem to be good at is making people feel like shit, and I would fucking expect an ADULT MAN to have more emotional maturity THAN A FUCKING THREE OLD!!!” you felt your voice go shrill and high, warbling with rage.

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT THAT YOU PUNCH PEOPLE ‘CAUSE YOUR DADDY DIDN'T LOVE YOU, ‘CAUSE NEWSFLASH, ASSHOLE, LESTER’S DADDY DIDN’T LOVE HIM EITHER, AND NEITHER DID HIS MOMMA!!! A detail you seem to fucking forget even though he’s YOUR FUCKING BROTHER, AND YOU SHOULD BE TREATING HIM WITH MORE RESPECT THAN YOU GIVE TO YOUR FUCKING PICKUP!!!

And you!”

Vincent jumped and almost fell backward when you turned to talk to him. You could see his eyes wide with fear under his waxy mask. Good. You wanted this lesson to fucking stick.

“You have less spine than your fucking wax statues! If you had even an ounce self respect, you’d grow a pair and stop putting up with Bo’s bullshit! Or at the very least, you’d stop cowering in the basement being all sad and tragic and try to be invested in what Lester is trying to say rather than blowing him off with bullshit excuses because you can’t be FUCKED to give shit!!!”

You finally let yourself pause, catching your breath. You heard Vincent shifting his weight on his feet, and felt the eye daggers Bo was stabbing you with. “You three are brothers, so fucking act like it,”

And with that, you grabbed Lester by the hand and led him to Bo’s truck. Neither Bo nor Vincent seemed to make any move to follow you. Opening the driver’s side door, you let Jonesy hop up into the back. Noticing that the keys were still in the ignition, you pulled them out and tossed them to Lester. You slid into the passenger seat and let out a silent sigh. Christ, did your head fucking hurt.

You noticed that Lester seemed a bit anxious, but you could tell that he was happy that someone stood up for him.

You looked over at the twins just in time to see Bo smack Vincent's hand away.

“DOn’t fuckin’ touch me!” he growled.

“Bo, get in the fucking truck,” you hissed.

Vincent scrambled through the driver’s side door into the backseat. You exhaled through your nose, noticing that he chose the seat opposite of where you were sitting. Bo was a little late to the party, but you savored the humiliation of him having to crawl into the backseat of his truck.

Satisfied, you leaned against the headrest of your seat, trying to steady your breaths. The purr of the engine was a welcome distraction from the tense air around you. You must’ve fallen asleep at some point because the last thing you remember was Lester carrying you to bed. He gave you a kiss, whispering a gentle ‘thank you’ before you drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

BONUS:

Bo gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes.

“I cannot believe you are making me do this,” he mumbled.

“Please, Bo! I don’t wanna get yelled at again!” Vincent signed hastily.

Bo raised an eyebrow. “You really are a self absorbed prick, aren’t you?”

Vincent dropped his hands in exasperation before picking them up again. “Fine, It’s the right thing to do, and I’m a jerk just like you, now will you please-”

“Alright, alright,” Bo waved Vincents’ hands down.

He reluctantly got up from the couch and trudged up the stairs, Vincent tugging him along . Bo gently knocked on Lester’s bedroom door. Hearing a muffled ‘yes’, he opened it to see Lester standing near his dresser, putting his gear away. Y/n was fast asleep under the covers.

“She asleep?” He nodded his head towards your shape on the bed.

“Uh, yeah i think so, why?” Lester whispered.

“We need to talk,” Bo stated numbly.

“Oh...Uh, gimme a minuet,” he stuffed his pack in the wardrobe before following Bo and Vincent out into the living room.

Bo stood for a moment, shooting his twin a sour glare. He rubbed his forehead and inhaled sharply.

“I’m sorry,” he groused.

Vincent looked at him expectedly as Lester tilted his head in confusion. Bo let out a long-suffering sigh.

“I’m sorry fer always yellin’ at you and tellin’ you yer a piece a shit, ‘cause ya aren’t. I know that you don’t mean to forget things. The reason why I got so angry tonight was ‘cause I was so damn worried about you, but that’s no excuse. So, I’ll try and uh, ‘manage my emotional outbursts', his words, not mine” Bo nodded at his twin.

“What he’s trying to say is that we both care about you, and we’ve both been letting our emotions dictate how we treat you.” His hands hesitated slightly before continuing. “I...as much as would like to believe, I’m not any better than Bo just because I don’t yell at you. I’m self absorbed, and I need to be more self aware and not let myself get strung up over little things,”

Lester sniffed, wiping the tears that were forming on his eyelids. “You wax-heads, of course I know you guys care about me! Why else would you come looking for me at ‘one in the fucking morning’?” he snickered. “I do appreciate your apologies though...I know you an’ Vinnie ain’t got it easy, god knows you didn’t, I was there, but that was it. Just, there. A bystander. I can’t help but wonder if I had said or done something maybe-”

“Lester,” Bo interrupted. “What happened to me-what happened to us is not your fault, or your responsibility.”

“I figure, but the problem is I’m still a bystander now, here in Ambrose. I don’t ever take charge of anythin’, I just stand there and wait for one of you to tell me to do something. Heh...that’s not really useful, ain’t It? I want-I should be takin’ a more active role in the House of Wax, we all have our part to play, don’t we?” “You’re right, we all need to work together,” Vincent signed.

Bo rolled his eyes and huffed, shaking his head at Vincent.

“OOOKAYY, if this shit gets any sweetter im gonna have a heart attack and die!” Bo stood up to leave. “Goodnight,”

“Oh no, not so fast mister!”

Lester wrapped his arms around Bo and pulled him into a hug. Vincent was quick to hug him from behind, pinning Bo between him and Lester.

“Alrighty, I love you too...ok that’s enough you can let me go

now...guys?....Helloooo?”

“We're not lettin' go 'til you hug back~,” Lester sang out.

Vincent rested his head on Bo’s shoulder in place of making a sarcastic remark. Bo grumbled, throwing his arms around Lester, who in turn, squeezed Bo tighter.

“Hey! A Sinclair Sandwich! Ain’t had one of these in a long time,” Lester giggled.

“Happy now?” Bo muttered.

“Yeah,” he sighed.

Bo relaxed a little, allowing himself to sink into the physical affection. Vincent hummed happily in response, and Lester nuzzled into Bo’s other shoulder. Bo closed his eyes, and for a fleeting moment, believed that he was going to be okay.

-Mod Elith

#house of wax #lester sinclair #vincent sinclair #bo sinclair #lester sinclair x reader #fanfic #fluff #angst #angst with a hopeful ending #slasher #istg if lester doesn't stop being such a h i m b o im gonna have to get down on my knees and propose to him #i SWEAR to you this is not anti bo or vinnie #i love the sinclair brothers equally #I just reallt wanted to put the fear of god in bo #mod elith #i still don't know how to add tags when answering an ask on desktopadjskfhalhf

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luci-cunt · 4 years

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An incomprehensive guide to why you should read T.J Klune’s book Wolfsong

Mostly for my very best friend in the whole wide world: @moonsandstarsaregay <33 and with 100% too many AFtG references i’m sorry

*AHEM*

A plot summary: Ox has been told his whole life he’s slow and gonna get shit for it. He lives in a sleepy little nowhere town in Oregon and is perfectly content never leaving and working in the garage for the rest of his life. His dad sucks, his mom’s a gem, and one day the house that’s (almost) always been empty at the end of the street gets filled by a family that’s just a little on the wrong side of weird–the Bennetts. They all immediately fall in love with Ox because he’s literally the most perfect mc you’ll ever meet, and he learns that not everyone actually sucks he’s just been looking at the wrong people.

And so what if they’re also a very powerful and well known werewolf pack–I mean WHATTTTTT

There’s monster fighting, drama, adventure, romance(*), adventure, angst (Oh GOD is there angst), badassary, and just so much good shit.

The Main Character:

I could talk just about how Ox is portrayed until the day I DIE. He doesn’t have an arc where he magically becomes ‘normal’ or anything, instead he just surrounds himself with people that treat him better and finds that he doesn’t need to change. He has a heart of gold and does kind things just because he is kind. He’s the definition of a soft giant, and again, the book starts and he’s roughly 10ish (with flashbacks to younger) and it ends with him in his late 20s early 30s so he definitely grows and matures but he doesn’t change because he doesn’t NEED to.

[More reasons to read + warnings/ disclaimers + a snippet below cut so I don’t bother y’all with a hella long post XD

You should probs read the warnings before you read the book just FYI]

Writing Style: If the style of the Knife of Never Letting Go intrigued you but you couldn’t get past the first chapter then this is the book for you. Ox is a bit simple–In the best way possible–and the book is from his perspective. His thoughts are stated outright and he takes most things people say very literally. This doesn’t change and that’s the best part. I LOVE this about it and I was TERRIFIED that Klune was going to write Ox in this style for only the first couple chapters and then suddenly switch to him being some snarky genius, but he doesn’t!!! Honestly idk how to describe it, you’ve just got to read it.

If that doesn’t convince you:

- First of all, werewolves, who doesn’t love em?

- Second of all gays, like, everyone, no one is straight. That one side character who shows up once? Yeah, no, she shows up twice and the second time she has a girlfriend. The main characters? All gay, and if they aren’t gay in this book they will be in the next one.

- FOUND FAMILY

- It’s basically AFtG but gayer and softer? but not??

- Very realistic characters, they make stupid mistakes and people react accordingly

- Kelly and Carter and literally the best things in the world I would fucking murder for both of them and I’m pretty sure Kelly is confirmed by the author to be ace (btw they aren’t twins so you can’t even accuse me of being in love with every blond and kinda tragic set of twins I come across fuck off XD)

- OX STATES VERY BLATANTLY THAT HE IS BISEXUAL

- Very endearing coming out scenes

- Gordo Livingstone is perfect in just about every way and he’s also like if Neil and Seth were combined and grew up to be Wymack. ajsdf;lk just a dumbass gay trying really hard to be a good dad while also vehemently denying it. (Oh and yeah he literally had a boyfriend who he’s currently pissed at so)

- MC is not a genius and that’s not treated like a bad thing

- Please just read it I need more people to scream about it with me

Some warnings:

- it’s werewolves, there’s gore, obsessive use of the word “alpha” and lots of wolf-ish tendencies. Most of it comes across as fucking adorable, but ngl, sometimes it’s just a tad weird.

- people have v tragic backstories. None of it is worse than AFtG but it’s still very intense, more on the side of gore/ violence/ some torture than heavy non/con but there’s some mentions of that. (More vague allusions/ threats rather than graphic scenes don’t worry)

- *the only thing that really wigged me out about these books is the fact that the main couple have a 6 year age difference. Any way you spin that it’s weird, but I think it was handled as well as you can??? (idk man I’m still wigged out about that even tho they don’t actually DO anything until both of them are in their twenties but STILL)

- it is VERY angsty. I mean, the soft moments are SICKENINGLY soft and there’s some of the best comedy/ cute shit I’ve ever seen but–god the ouch stuff HURTS. If you don’t want to cry over a book I wouldn’t recommend reading this.

In conclusion:

If you wanted LGBT adventure content here it is!!! I mean, if it’s the sex scenes you’re about (or against XD) there’s only really two, one is the epilogue and one is about 2/3rds through the book but from what other people who actually understand sex say it’s NICE XDD also just a very nice character moment? I didn’t read all of it but from what I read it was v nice, they’re wholesome and stupid, I love them.

I actually really liked the romance? It’s v realistic and got the vibe of “neither of us have good self-confidence but I will DIE proving to you that you’re worth the entire world.” There’s very, very sappy and drawn out declarations of love, it’s adorable, sometimes a little weird (looking at you Joe), but altogether wholesome. There’s also a wee bit of possessiveness but it’s mostly(?) treated as the “uuuuhhhh, that’s not gonna go over well you need to chill” trait it should be.

It’s intense, and the last time I physically could not stop reading and stayed up all night just to finish a book was AFtG so...

It is quite a bit longer than AFtG tho, like, it took me the same amount of time to read just Wolfsong that I read all three of the AFtG books in. Sometimes it drags a little, especially in the middle, but it’s all worth it. Also if you don’t like drawn out “you will apologize on my terms because you fucked up on yours” kinda things I don’t think this is for you.

I loved it, the characters are to die for and the villains make my blood boil. I cried, and laughed and sobbed and screamed. 12/10

Here’s a lil bit to give you a taste:

Here’s a link to the Goodreads page if you want more details

And here’s a link to where you can buy the book ;)

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carriagelamp · 4 years

Photo

~ Queer Lit 30 Day Book Challenge ~

I decided to do this challenge I came across for June! Originally it was designed as a “day-by-day” thing, but my June was way too hectic to do a write up every single day… so I decided to make a nice compilation for the end of the month instead!

This is perhaps not the “purest” form of the challenge but I wanted it to be personal for me. Growing up when I did and where I did, I had very little exposure to queer books, especially age-appropriate queer books. That being said, there’s some books on this list that are really only “queer” by technically, or through a secondary character rather than the main character. I debated whether to include these but finally decided that, yes, I would. I owe it to myself. Even though some of these books that aren’t “as queer” as other, they were (or are) really important to me as a queer person and my journey is understanding that, so I wanted to acknowledge them!

More info about the books and the challenge under the cut!

Day One: First Queer Book You Remember Reading

Color by Taishi Zaou and Eiki Eiki

Remember how I mentioned a lack of available, age-appropriate queer books? I was one of those kids who was definitely exposed (probably too young) to queer manga/yaoi. It wasn’t necessarily what I wanted, especially as a wee ace teen, but it was the best I had at the time and it meant the world to me at the time, to see same-sex relationships even if looking back on them is very “YIKES”.

I’m sure I read others before this, but Color is one of the first that I really remember and which I a) actually owned and which b) wasn’t completely repellent in hindsight! I haven’t reread it in probably over a decade so I have no idea how it stands up, but at the time it read like a much more “realistic” account of two teenagers developing a crush and starting a relationship and as a questioning teenager it really helped me realize that this was a real, viable option.

Day Two: Queer Book That Reminds You Of Home

The Witch Boy by Molly Knox Ostertag

I hummed and hawed about this one for a long time because honestly I tend to read books that make me feel far from home. I decided to go with The Witch Boy though because it’s a story that challenges gender norms and stars a large family out in the woods, running wild and exploring magic, and honestly it gives me vibes that remind me of vacationing with my extended family. We’re also partially ginger and inclined to run wild in the woods. If we knew magic we’d have used it for sure.

This book is about 13 year old Aster, who lives in a family where the women all become witches and the men all become shifters. Aster, however, has no interest in shapeshifting and instead finds ways to study magic and learn the arts of witchcraft while constantly being pushed out by his female relatives… though everything might change when a new danger, that may or may not be connected to Aster studying magic, begins to appear.

Day Three: Queer Book That Has Been On Your TBR Too Long

Beneath The Citadel by Destiny Soria

That was an easy choice, this has been sitting on my bookshelf for months, staring at me accusingly every time I enter my room. I’m really excited to read it (Magical heist? Rebellion? With an asexual protagonist? Yes please) but for some reason I have not gotten around to it. Some day, baby, some day.

Day Four: Queer Book With A Name Or Number In The Title

George by Alex Gino

George is an absolutely charming middle grade novel about a child named George who the world perceives as male… but who knows she’s definitely a girl. The novel begins when her class decided to put on a play about the novel they had just read: Charlotte’s Web. George is desperate to play Charlotte, her favourite character, but isn’t even allowed to try out because it’s a “girl’s role”. George and her best friend struggle with how to handle this problem and manage George’s secret amid elementary school and home drama.

This book is really adorable – it was a nice, easy, cozy read for an adult, and would also make a great read aloud to elementary-age children if you want to introduce them to transgender characters.

Day Five: Queer Book Where The Protag Has A Fun Job

The Magic Misfits by Neil Patrick Harris

Not actually a queer protagnoist, but a queer side character who plays a major role in the series. Mister Vernon, one of Leila’s fathers, has arguable the coolest job: he’s a retired stage magician turn magic shop owner, which is complete with large rabbit, hidden room, and tons of fascinating gadgets to help a young practical magician learn their trade. He is hands down one of the neatest character in the series and is a major catalyst throughout the series.

The first book follows Carter, a runaway orphan who practices street magic to get by, as he runs away from his horrible uncle and winds up meeting a gang of magic-loving friends in a small town. Hiding from his uncle is only the beginning though, and the mysteries surrounding the town and Mister Vernon become thicker and thicker as the series goes on.

Day Six: Favourite Queer Graphic Novel

Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu

There’s lots of fantastic queer graphic novels out there, but I have to name Check, Please! as my favourite (and not just because I’m Canadian and am legally obligated to at least show interest in a hockey story). Check, Please! is the friggin cutest story about Eric “Bitty” Bittle, former figure skater and avid baker, who joins the Samwell University hockey team. The story is told in the form of Bitty’s vlog as he recounts the bizarre quirks of the Samwell hockey team, his struggle to overcome his fear of checking, and his growing crush on the team captain, Jack. Seriously guys, this is cavity-inducing sweetness and you can read it all online for free, here on tumblr @omgcheckplease or at its own website, checkpleasecomic.

Day Seven: Queer Book You Often Reread

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

Another book I haven’t reread in years, but this was the first queer novel I ever read (and owned!) so I read it obsessively, first the copy from the high school library and then my own copy (which is, let us say, well-thumbed by this point). It was pure fluff, in an aggressively diverse, relentlessly accepting, rainbow-coloured high school and it was exactly what I wanted in high school, and it still makes me happy whenever I remember it. It’s a straight-up high school romance, pretty traditional to the genre, but it has the most delightful supporting cast you could ever ask for. Maybe I should reread it again this summer…

Day Eight: Queer Book With A Happy Ending

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst

This was a bit more of a “yeah it was fine” book for me, but honestly… queer people deserve some average, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies. As far as my normal reading preferences go, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies are my bread and butter. And this one has a cute sapphic romance to go with it. It’s about Denna, a princess with a dangerous secret: she has a magical Affinity for fire, despite being betrothed to the prince of a kingdom that aggressively prosecutes and fears magic-users. So now Denna is in a strange land, trying to hide her increasingly volatile magic, solve an assassination that rocked the kingdom, and deal with the growing connection between her and the prince’s wild sister, Mare. It has court intrigue, a murder mystery, horses, and lots of confused sapphic pining so it’s totally worth picking up if you want a light summer fantasy adventure.

Day Nine: Queer Book With (Over) 100 Pages

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey

I decided to try to get as close to 100 pages as possible! River of Teeth is a 114-page novella that I haven’t quite finished (work and covid stress happened) but which I am fucking losing my mind for. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s peak alternative history, about queer hippopotamus-riding cowboys in Louisiana during the early 20th (late 19th?) century. Like… I don’t know how to emphasize how unbelievably cool this book is. Genderqueer demolition expert with a giant crush and a penance for making things blow up and attempting to poison guests when they’re bored?? Check. Gay gunslinging hippo-riding cowboy with an angsty backstory (and also a giant crush)? Check. Sexy, fat, badass lady con artist with an albino hippo that she spoils? Check. Like damn guys. I’m not done the book and I’ve already bought the sequel because I know the second I pick it back up I’m not gonna stop until I’ve ploughed through it all. This book is the epitome of “refuge in audacity” and “rule of cool”. Is it over the fucking top? Absolutely but that’s the point.

Day Ten: Favourite Queer Genre Novel

The Red Scrolls of Magic by Cassandra Clare

I’ll be honest, I’m a little shaky on what counts as a genre novel (isn’t… everything… a genre??) so I decided to interpret it as “slightly trashy YA supernatural fantasy” because that sure is a hella specific genre I’m weak for.

I really thought I was done with the Shadowhunter novels, I thought they were a goofy series I left behind in teenagerhood that I could look back on with amused indulgence. And then I found out that there was a novel specifically about Alec and Magnus and! Oh no! Ding dong I was wrong. I fell back in hard because listen… I love them. They were one of the first canonical same-sex relationships I ever read about in an actual novel, they meant a lot to me then and still mean a lot to me now. I have nothing to say to defend myself here except that this book wrecked me and I can’t wait for the sequel.

Day Eleven: Queer Book You Love In A Genre You Don’t Read

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connel

I am very rarely a slice-of-life / romance genre sort of person. I like my stories cut with a heavy dose of fantasy, scifi, action-adventure… something. So a graphic novel that’s not only a romance, but one about an unhealthy relationship and infidelity is like… super outside my usual range of reading material. But it was very much worth the read! The art was stunning, and the complicated emotions it tapped into really touched me. I’m very happy to have read it, and was so damn satisfied by the end.

Day Twelve: Queer Book With A Strong Sense Of Place

Belle Révolte by Linsey Miller

Linsey Miller is one author I very actively follow, I love her works and they always have very distinct, complicated worlds with unique societies and magic systems. Belle Révolte was her latest book and followed a prince-and-the-pauper type of story, in which wealthy Emilie des Marais is determined to learn noonday (magical) arts in order to become a physician, someone who can actually work to make her home a better place… but this is not something a proper lady would ever be allowed to do. So she flees her finishing school and meets poor, but magically gifted, Annette Boucher and offers her the chance to switch places. Annette goes back to school as “Emilie” and gets to hone her skills at the midnight arts while Emilie will use her name to sneak into medical school and fight her way up the ranks to physician. This is a challenging enough task, with rebellion roiling just beneath the surface and the country about to slip into a arrogant war that threatens the lives of hundreds…

Day Thirteen: Queer Book That Really Made You Think

Our Dreams At Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

This is a four book manga series that is completely breath-taking. It’s touched by magical-realism and completely drowned in visually stunning metaphors and symbolism. Seriously, I’ve reread these books multiples times trying to digest how the wide variety of symbols overlap and contradict and compliment and challenge each other. I still haven’t really gotten a solid handle on it, it’s very fluid, so yeah… definitely makes me think.

The story starts with Tasuku Kaname who believes he may have just been outed as gay by a high school friend, and feels like he’s watching his entire world crumble around him. He is seriously considering taking his own life, when he runs into the mysterious woman “Someone-san” and winds up leading him to a drop-in center that’s run by a local non-profit, and is also a hub for a number of queer people in the community. The books follow Tasuku as he grows, learns, makes mistakes, and confronts his feelings, along with a number of other members at the drop-in center. It is completely beautiful, optimistic, but also quite stark and harsh at its look at homophobia and transphobia in modern Japanese society and how it can effect people in different ways. I just bought book four and can’t wait to read it and see how everything ends.

Day Fourteen: Queer Book That Made You Cry

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline

Holy shit guys. Listen. Listen. If you don’t read any other book on this list, please consider reading The Marrow Thieves. It is hands down the best book I’ve read so far this year. Another book that doesn’t have a queer character as the protag, but as one of the main supporting characters and listen, his story fucking destroyed me as a person. That romance just… aaaaaaah. AAAAAAAAH.

Anyway. The Marrow Thieves is a Canadian dystopian novel. It takes place in a post-climate change world in which society has been ravaged – partially due to the wildly different and extreme weather patterns, but also through a strange disease that has spread through the population that has left people completely incapable of dreaming. Now unable to rest, process their lives, and dream of a future, people are being driven insane and only one group appears to be immune: North America’s First Nations people appear to be unaffected. And so they begin to be harvested, rounded up and collected in “school” in order for people to suck the marrow out of them to give to white people afflicted by this disease. The Marrow Thieves follows a First Nations boy named Frenchie as he flees the recruiters and tries his best to survive in this post-apocalyptic like wilderness, banding together with other First Nations people who are heading north, where they hope to find communities of their own people with whom they can shelter and start to rebuild their lives.

It’s a YA level novel, not very long, and such an insanely good read. I cannot emphasize enough PLEASE GO READ THIS BOOK.

Day Fifteen: Queer Book That Made You LOL

Mostly Void, Partially Stars by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

Welcome to Nightvale always makes me laugh and it was a lot of fun to get to read the transcripts of the episodes. I’m a sucker for novelizations/transcripts of shows. It was a nice nostalgia trip and gave me an excuse to go back and relisten to some of my favourite episodes too! If you’ve never gotten into Nightvale… hey, it’s a classic! Podcast is fucking stunning if you’re into podcasts, and if you’re not but would enjoy a weird, queer, eldritch horror comedy then try the book! It’s the first “season” compiled in text form, exactly how it’s heard in the show.

Day Sixteen: Queer Book That Is Really Personal To You

Jughead volume 1 by Chip Zdarsky et al

Including this one because gee golly it sure did make me want to fight a lot of people for quite a while. It was one of the first stories I ever found/read that had an explicitly asexual main character… (and a character I already really loved! Which I now got to feel an even stronger connection to! It was so fun and validating!) so it was super awesome how like half of tumblr decided for a year there that this was apparently a cardinal sin. Imagine… one single version of old, long standing comic series deciding to retcon a character to represent a heavily under-represented community… imagine being so fucking angry about that that you decide to start a hate campaign on the internet. So much fun to live through that as an ace person. Anyway, these comics were nothing amazing but I sure do love them aggressively out of pure spite, even now that the aphobia on tumblr has died back down I will hold this to my chest and adore it.

Day Seventeen: Favourite Queer Book Sequel or Spin Off

The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

Honestly do I even need to say anything here? Is there any queer person who hasn’t read Mackenzi Lee’s The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue series? If you are someone who hasn’t read it yet… go do that?? Absolutely stunning, one of my all-time favourite book series. It’s the perfect combination of hilarious and goofy, intense action, heartfelt character development, and a dash of “wait was that supernatural or??” This sequel was fantastic, this time focusing on Felicity, Monty’s sister, and her quest to become a physician despite being a woman in the 18th century. Awesome look at femininity, feminism, asexuality, and race. (Also… OT3? OT3.)

Day Eighteen: Favourite Queer Book By A Favourite Author

Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett

One of those “ehh is this technically queer? Not really but close enough, it is in my heart” books. It was one of the books I read as a teenager when I was still beginning to seek out and try to explore queer lit in so much as I could.

Terry Pratchett is, hands down, my favourite author, and though he doesn’t tend to write explicitly queer literature, his exploration of gender through allegory is top fucking tier. Everything to do with the dwarves in his series is fascinating, and a really great challenge/critique/exploration of gender, and this is the book that takes it to the next level (and brings in at least implicitly queer characters). It’s about Polly Perks, who lives in a small, war torn nation, choosing to join the army in order to find out what happened to her brother. However, as tradition dictates, she can’t join as a girl… so she disguises herself as Ozzer, a young man. There’s a lot of twists and turns, and as always Pratchett delivers fantastic humour and just absolutely delicious satire.

Day Nineteen: Queer Book That Changed Your Life

And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson

This was the book that made me realize that I, as a queer teacher, could have queer kid lit in my future classroom. Maybe a comparatively small revelation, but a really important one to me. It made me realize that this didn’t need to be something I kept a secret in my professional life and which could really positively influence children, especially queer children. It was the first queer children’s book I ever bought.

Day Twenty: Favourite Queer Book Series

Candy Color Paradox by Isaku Natsume

Alright… I’ll admit it, this isn’t actually my favourite series, but I’ve used my favourites in other spots. And this is a good one! Definitely more of an actual “yaoi” than the other manga I’ve included (here there be sex) but it has a very different vibe that what I’m used to from that type of manga. The main pair are actually both capable, mature adults, with careers they actively care about, and who get together in the first volume!

The rest of the series is less about them angst-ily toeing around their relationship, and much more about them learning to grow as a couple and balance their work and relationship and society. It’s funny and sweet, and I really enjoy these two losers. It’s a very low-stakes enemy-to-friends-to-lovers story, in which Onoe (a reporter) and Kaburagi (a photographer) are paired up on a news story they’re supposed to dig into together. What starts as a bickering rivalry gradually becomes respect, friendship, and love~ Onoe is a gremlin of a protag, so he’s a treat to follow.

Day Twenty-One: Queer Book That You Recommend A Lot

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller

To repeat myself: Linsey Miller is awesome! This is my favourite book of hers, the first of a duology. It’s kind of like an intense, edgy Tamora Pierce novel with murder. In this world, the Queen has a team of assassins known as the Left Hand. They’re an elite group that keeps the Queen safe and does the dirty work that needs to be done to protect the kingdom and keep the encroaching nations at bay. When the assassin Opal is killed, a contest is announced to find the new Opal. People from all over come to complete for the honour of being one of the Queen’s royal assassins, including gender-fluid thief Sallot Leon. Sal has some deep motivations to become Opal that go beyond a loyalty to their kingdom, but they’re going to have to survive their competitors if they even wants a chance at it… (Sal generally goes by either she or he in the books, but I’m using they in this instance since it’s in a more general sense.)

Day Twenty-Two: Queer Book That Made You Take Action

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Uhh, I don’t really have any books that made me take action per se, but this one sure gave me a lot to think about. It’s about deep sea mermaids who originated from the pregnant slave women tossed into the ocean to drown during passage to North America. From those dying women, this race was born and were taken in by whales, raised and protected until they could descend into the deep ocean waters, to form their own safe society. Their collective past is so painful though that as a species they’ve developed a very short term memory. But a people can’t live without any ties to their roots and so one of them, the Historian, holds all the memories for their entire species and shares it with everyone once a year so that the community can be connected to their ancestors before once again returning the memories to the Historian for safe keeping. Yetu, the current Historian, is so overwhelmed by these memories, that she can no longer take it – she flees her people, her responsibilities, and her pain and escapes to the surface instead...

Day Twenty-Three: Queer Book By An Author Who I Killed Is Dead

Cybersix by Carlos Trillo

I cannot emphasize enough, this is not actually a queer comic, it is in fact a very homophobic, transphobic and sexist comic written by a horrible person.

That being said, he’s dead and I own it now the TV series was essentially about a genderqueer superhero and a very confused bi biology professor who has a crush on both personas. I had a passionate crush on both personas as a child, and I will cherrypick this comic until I die in order to enjoy the only kickass genderqueer/genderfluid noir antihero I’ve come across. I am valid and I am not open to debate or discussion. Do not read this comic it’s horrible (but consider watching the show).

Day Twenty-Four: Queer Book You Wish You’d Read When Younger

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

This is such an incredibly soft story with the nicest art. There’s so much understanding and compassion in it and its exploration of gender and self-confidence and being true to yourself would have been very reassuring to me as a child, especially by late elementary/middle school.

Day Twenty-Five: Queer Book In A Historical Setting

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

A retelling of Achilles’ and Patroclus’ relationship from childhood to the Trojan war. So yeah, you can imagine that this was also a candidate for Day 14 :’) I haven’t read this one in years but god it was lovely and emotionally destroyed me as a person.

Day Twenty-Six: Queer Superhero Book or Comic

Overwatch: Reflections by Michael Chu and Miki Montillo

I don’t really read superhero stories very often (the comics have always driven me a little bonkers, trying to find a way to enter the totally unapproachable Marvel/DC canons, and the MCU burnt me out years ago for every other sort of superhero story) so this is the closest I can get. Tracer’s a superhero yeah? Anyway, I, like every other queer person in the Overwatch fandom, lost my fucking mind when this dropped for Christmas a few years back and officially declared Lena Oxton not only the face of the entire franchise but also a lesbian. It’s an adorable little comic and Tracer’s girlfriend is a sweetheart.

Day Twenty-Seven: Favourite Queer Children’s Picture Book

Prince & Knight by Daniel Haack

There’s a number of sweet queer children’s books that are popping up these days, but this is my favourite just because it’s less about “explaining the gays to children” (though those books also have their place) and more of a cute little fantasy adventure in which the actual protagonist is gay. It’s about a prince who sets out to find himself a bride who can help rule by his side, but it quickly becomes clear that he isn’t interested in any of the girls. Instead, when a fire breathing dragon threatens his kingdom, he meets a brave knight who fights along side him. It’s very supportive and the art is lovely.

Day Twenty-Eight: Queer Book That Made You Feel Uncomfortable

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann

This is a book with an asexual protagonist that I was originally really excited for. I know there are a lot of people out there who really enjoy this book and connected with it, but it didn’t do it for me. Maybe because my expectations were too high, but the protagonist’s experience with asexuality was vastly different than my own and the narrative voice ended up rubbing me wrong (and let’s be honest, slice-of-life romance is NOT my usual genre at all). So it’s not “made me uncomfortable because it’s Bad And Wrong” more just… totally vibed wrong with me. Maybe the perfect book for other people but definitely not for me, I had to return this one unfinished because it’s portrayal of asexuality just made me so deeply uncomfortable.

Day Twenty-Nine: Queer Book That Made You Want To Fall In Love

The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice And Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

This book had to make it on here somewhere, and honestly it could have gone in a lot of different spots, but I chose to put it here because the relationship between Monty and Percy is so incredibly sweet and authentic it really does make you want something like that. TGGTVAV (for anyone who has somehow not heard of it) takes place in the 18th century, and is about Monty, his best friend (and crush) Percy, and his sister Felicity going on a final “hurrah” tour of Europe before Monty's father finally tries to pin him down in England and force every part of Monty that’s deemed “unacceptable” out of him. So Monty intends to live this summer up… until everything goes off the rail and the three of them are suddenly fleeing across the continent with assassins at their heels and a strange, stolen artifact in their possession.

Monty has a lot of growing to do in this novel, and that’s one of my favourite things about it. For his and Percy’s relationship to ever have a chance, Monty needs to learn and change and actually communicate with other people, and it makes the relationship feel strong. Not a fluffy, surface level romance that often happens in YA but something built from the ground up by two friends who really want to make it work. Ahh, it’s lovely. One of my favourite novels.

Day Thirty: Queer Book With Your Favourite Ending

My Brother’s Husband by Gengoroh Tagame

A two-book manga series that was completely stunning. It deals with queer relationships and homophobia in a very stark, real-world manner that you don’t often get in manga, while still being incredibly loving and sympathetic. The book is about Yaichi, a single father whose estranged brother (Ryoji) recently died. One day, a Canadian named Mike arrives, introducing himself as Ryoji’s widower. Mike had come hoping to visit his late husband’s homeland to try to get some closure, and Yaichi ends up inviting Mike to stay. The whole story looks Japan’s societal biases, through Mike’s experiences, Yaichi’s thoughts, feelings and prejudices, and those of his daughter who adores Mike.

Seriously, this is one of the kindest, most earnest looks I’ve ever seen to internal prejudices that critiques them without demonizing the person who feels them. Instead it lovingly embraces grief, growth, and love. This series made me cry multiple times, was good enough that even my straight brother practically ordered me to go out and buy the second book when he finished the first, and the ending was just *chef’s kiss*

Honourable Mentions

A few books I really wanted to fit on my list somehow but couldn’t quite manage it, so here: All Out an anthology of historical fiction short stories about queer teens. The Tea Dragon Society series and Princess Princess Ever After, graphic novels by the amazingly talented Katie O’Neill. Heartstopper a webcomic turn graphic novel by Alice Oseman about a pair of rugby players. The Different Dragon a cute picture book in which the boy has two moms and which is about accepting different ways of being. And Lady Knight a part of Tamora Pierce’s Protector of the Small series because because Kel is word-of-god aro(and/or ace) and I’ve adored that series and Kel since I was about thirteen so by god I’ll take it.

Now for those that wanted to do their own challenge, I found it on @gailcarriger’s blog.

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stricken-with-clairvoyancy · 4 years

Text

Prinxiety fic recs

Hey everyone, I know isolation is difficult, and a good majority of the fandom use fics as an escape mechanism, so hopefully some people can get a kick out of some of these. As my blog title suggests, I mostly just consume prinxiety content, so this list is for any prinxiety stans out there. Feel free to add on with your own fics or recs, regardless of ship! All fics are completed unless stated otherwise, to avoid giving anyone WIPlash. :)

First up, literally anything by the Queen of Prinxiety (and stunning writing in general) @coconut-cluster. Hers was one of the first blogs who’s writing I got really invested in, and her writing is like the equivalent of snuggling into a warm blanket in the sunshine. It’s good stuff y’all. Writing masterlist If you’re overwhelmed by how many incredible stories she’s written though, I gotchu fam, here are some of my favourites to get you started: Sciamachy, My dreams made music in the night, Snowball fight

Powerless by @impatentpending . One of the best stories I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, better than most published literature I daresay. Seriously it’s just,,, so good!!! If you haven’t read it yet I highly recommend you do. You’ve got morally grey villains, you’ve got wit, you’ve got a hoverbike named Brendon Urie. It’s an all round good time, except when, you know, it’s angsty.

The To Love And Be Loved series by @virgilsjourney It’s so soft!!! So light and sweet and comforting!!! You’ve got hurt/comfort (heavy on the comfort) with a large helping of mutual pining, and it’s the perfect fic if you need a pick-me-up after a long day.

Butterflies by @creativenostalgiastuff . I live for techie Virgil and this fic does not disappoint. Incredibly cute, Roman gets the validation he deserves, 10/10.

My true love gave to me by @lovelylogans Honestly my favourite oneshot of all time, I giggle the whole way through when reading this. The sheer magnitude of their mutual pining,,, incredible. Genuinely this fic is so wonderful and funny and lighthearted and sweet and hhhhhhhhhh. Looking at her masterlist I’ve also come to realise that she’s written a lot of my favourites, so I’ll just link that here! :)

Wet blanket , Life of the party and Social grace by @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors. A tad angsty, but so worth the read, and they more than make up for any potential hurt with the gratuitous fluff. Hella soft, superb writing. On another note, if you haven’t already, you should absolutely read their jaw-droppingly amazing series Love and other fairytales. Romantic lamp and a heck tonne of cool worldbuilding, gripping plot and fae galore, prepare to become thoroughly invested.

A dragon’s tail by @theeternalspace . This one had me on the edge of my seat you guys, it’s so gripping you’ll wanna stay up all night reading it. You’ve got prince!Virgil, you’ve got knight!Roman, you’ve got Dragon!Logan. Need I say more?

The most adorable Parents!Prinxiety headcanons you ever did read, by the incredible @thelowlysatsuma , with a tooth-rottingly sweet fic to go with it by @watchoutforthefanfics . You WILL get cavities and you WILL sob at the soft domesticity of it all.

@shakesqueer-writes is lowkey a Prinxiety GOD so I’m just gonna link you to their whole entire masterlist of masterpieces.

The phenomenal It’s only logical by @tinysidestrashcaptain . This one is incomplete, but it’s honestly so perfectly written that it’s going on here anyway. I can only dream of achieving Virgil’s level of sass in this fic, an absolute icon. It’s a flower shop au AND a coffee shop au babyyy.

I can only assume from the remarkable quality of the writing that Keep him safe by @whatwashernameagain gets recommended a lot, as it RIGHTLY DESERVES. This fic is also incomplete, but so worth waiting for, each new chapter is a sucker punch of emotions and the character development is second to none. I’d definitely heed the trigger warnings on this one though, it does handle (very well and realistically) some darker themes. There’s also a raccoon named Cat and I love her.

A get-together and getting together by @hickory-dickory-doc-k Fake! dating! Fake! Dating! Fake! Dating! Fak- Ok but for real though guys this one is so gosh darn cute I dropped everything on Christmas day to rush upstairs and read it when the last chapter came out and I was grinning so much lemme tell you. I’ve read a lot of fake dating aus in my time and this one honestly takes the cake.

(I’d never) want once from the cherry tree written by @ace-corvid with gorgeous art to go with it by @blank-ace . YouTuber au!!! Virgil gets to be the chaotic conspiracy guy we know he secretly longs to be, and Roman gets the adoring fanbase he deserves. The humour is also on point. I mean, Deceit’s name in Virgil’s contacts is Snake fursona man, and honestly if that doesn’t sell it, I don’t know what will.

Of trying and towers by @parsnipit . An oldie but a classic, this story is phenomenal. It’s got action! It’s got magical curses! It’s got so many dragons! It’s got highkey terrified but also kinda badass Virgil! It’s so good you guys, the plot and the family bonding and hhhhhhh dragons are so cool.

Destined by @rosesisupposes . Oooooh this one has such a fun premise. Virgil’s a sage (kind of like a seer) and is just kinda vibing with the humans until sh*t goes down, ft sass, flirting, pun-based bakeries, and a coffee machine named Gilda. It’s great. I love it.

Long live by @meginoi . It’s!!! Essentially a really cool princess diaries au!!! How rad is that? Virgil is pretty much permanently stressed, but Pat and Lo are supportive bros and he ;) has ;) Roman ;) there ;) to ;) help.

Falling (falling) by @basically-i-write-shit . Don’t let their url fool you this fic is honestly so gripping, I stayed up way into morning bingeing it. Be warned though, it does handle some pretty dark topics, so heed the trigger warnings. ft. single dad Virgil and babysitter Roman!

Inks and tallies by @skittlesun . Tattoo 👏 artist 👏 Roman 👏 Frick 👏 Yeah 👏 Also by the same author, the amazing fic The betting pool is an absolute delight. Flirting galore. Go read it pls.

Late night, long night by @crowleyspraisekink . Virgil’s in a tank top and Roman is Gay Panic tm. Adorable, superb, 10/10.

A curse is a dream your heart makes by @romansleftshoulderpad This oneshot is a long boi but my god you will enjoy every single second of it. Roman gets cursed by the Dragon witch to act out classic Disney movies with Virgil, and it’s honestly so entrancing. Phenomenal writing.

Queen of fluff @not-so-innocent-bi-sander has so much adorable fics that I’m gonna link their whole masterlist because you deserve to treat yourself to their writing, and I’m also gonna add some quick links to my faves here because I love them: The reunion, Romance in the air…port, Guitar lessons. The first fic of theirs I read is the series The view from here, and it was so heartwarmingly sweet that it helped distract me from some pretty bad cramps, so I highly recommend you go check that out if you need a cute pick me up. It’s incomplete, but it’s mostly fluff and ongoing, so you won’t be left on any cliffhangers.

Thespian by @random-snippets is a heart-wrenchingly sweet hurt/comfort fic that I wholeheartedly recommend. Roman puts on a play in the imagination but neglects to tell Virgil that his character straight up dies at the end, and Virgil is understandably distraught. It’s ok though, Virgil gets love and hugs! Also just check out their masterlist because their writing is absolutely sensational, especially their pining!Virgil LAMP fics.

Through different eyes by @stars-and-rose . Roman’s a warlock who’s been ‘kidnapping’ Patton in an endearing attempt to get the handsome knight’s ;) attention. Super cute and a fun read, honestly it’s adorable.

@today-only-happens-once is another phenomenal writer who’s masterlist I’m also gonna link because they’re all! So! Good!!! Here’s some of my faves: Exposure therapy ft Ace!Roman, Acoustic, Always

A hero’s rescue by @stillebesat . Villain!Roman and Hero!Virgil ft a healthy dose of hurt/comfort and a a really cool premise. I go back and re-read this one a lot!

Welcome to the neighbourhood by @lefaystrent is incomplete, but it’s so goddamn hysterical that it’s going on here anyway. Their comedic genius is astounding. Some more of my favourites of theirs include: Roamin’ nights, Flutter and fall, Rewrite

Blink and you’ll miss it and waterspout by @greenninjagal-blog are both lovely reads which I highly recommend. Seriously guys their writing is amazing, go check them out.

Sweet dreams and Petals red as blood by @candied-peach are both gorgeously written and I absolutely adore them, 10/10.

#fic recs #go hog wild y'all #was this a painfully transparent way for me to compile all my faves in one place for ease of re-reading?#yeah and what of it #i can have a little self indulgence #as a treat :)#seriously though guys all of these authors are crazy talented go show them your love #and this post is a free-for-all so add anything you want #i've likely forgotten some people and if you're one of those people i'm so sorry i'll probably update this as more of them come back to me #ily all stay well #sanders sides #ts sides #romantic prinxiety #shout out to my tags which i can't :) get :) to :) work #Prinxiety

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definitely-not-black-cat · 4 years

Note

A37 and/or B48 from the 💛 prompt list with Tom? Oh! A deadly sin hmmm. Idkk sloth?

This is hella angsty and I’m not sure it’s any good but…

He wasn’t taking your relationship seriously anymore. At least, that’s how you felt. Between press junkets and the number of movies he was working on, you understood to an extent, but it was getting ridiculous. He would come home late, leave early the next morning. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had an actual conversation with him, and thanks to that fact, you were quickly losing your patience with him.

He surprised you one day, coming home much earlier than you’d anticipated and while he seemed eager to see you, you couldn’t say that you returned the feelings. He seemed to pick up on it pretty quickly, giving you some space for an hour or so before deciding to approach you about it.

“Alright then, what is your problem? Why are you so pissy?”

“Leave me alone, Tom.” You grumbled, trying to step around him and sneering at him when he moved in front of you once more.

“Talk to me. What’s happened to you?”

“ME?” You hissed, crossing your arms over your chest. “This is all because of you!”

“What have I done this time?” He sounded mildly annoyed, making you roll your eyes.

“You have gotten so lazy, Tom.” You sighed, not having the energy to get into a fight with him. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

“Like what, darling?” He asked, voice cracking. His soft brown eyes held yours, trying to get you to talk to him.

“I’m tired of feeling like your last priority. I’m tired of feeling like everything and everyone else in your life matters more to you than I do. I understand that you’re living your dream, and I’m not asking you to put it on hold for me, but would it kill you to come home and talk to me instead of heading straight to bed? Would it kill you to skip drinks with your brothers for one night and have dinner with me? Would it kill you to make me feel wanted…like-” You paused, clearing your throat as your voice broke too, tears stinging your eyes. “Like you used to.”

Tom stayed silent for a moment, ducking his head and taking a deep breath before whispering, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him.

“How could you have known, Tom? You’re never home and when you are, you’re only here to sleep and then you’re off again, hanging out with Harrison, or doing a junket, or filming, or playing golf with your brothers. I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m the last thing you think about.”

“Darling, our relationship is the most important thing in my life. I’m so sorry that I’ve ever made you feel otherwise. If you give me the chance, I promise that I will make it up to you…starting today I will put more effort into us. I don’t want to lose you.”

You both knew that it would take some effort. But you also both knew that Tom had never been one to shy away from a challenge before and that as long as he made good on his promise, your relationship would be fine. And so it was.

Requests are closed.

#Fri 13 Blurb Night 2 #Tom Holland #T.H.#Tom Holland x you #Tom Holland x reader #Tom Holland angst #Tom Holland fic #Tom Holland imagine #angst #fluff #Blurb Events

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 3 years

Note

Sorry for bring my comments so late, I have been helping my Mother with her shop and also watching series my friend recommended me, But now I'm here Excited to Read More!

Chapter 18

you know, reading about MC distancing themself from Rowan Never Would not be a total pain for me, Like, The Friendship between MC and Rowan showed in screen was always so wholesome but Yet so sad, because You really don't have an option to keep your Friendship with Them, because The Writing Of The game makes You simply be distant from them. The only thing that makes have a little hope for Rowan It's The Fanfic says loosely follows plot till Year 6 and The Fictober was created I Think Before “that” chapter. God, It's just a paragraph and I'm really thinking in that.

DAMN. For Some reason I never really expected Bellatrix to being mentioned and just gonna Say Poor Tonks, Like in-game She has a Easy going Personality but It's really concerning when You remember What happens and What She dealts with. And can I just Say The Headcannon Of her hating her real face because resembles Bellatrix makes Perfect sense and It's so Beautiful in a really angsty and murky kind Of way? Because It's similar that happens to One Of my Oc's, She has a trauma related to her twin sister that's The reason She has eisotrophobia (Fear to The reflection on The mirror) because She always sees her Twins face and The worst Part Is her Mother stills confusing Them because Never expected The day She Will see The Twins Split up. It's a Story I Thought when I was with my psychologist.

I love The saltiness Of Luca to Dumbledore, It's... actually Pretty Understandable, Dumbledore in The Books was already Shady and The most funny part It's probably Rowling didn't even wanted him to come off as that, Why then make The main Character, One Of The principal victims of Albus, give His name to His son? and in Hphm Albus It's still a manipulator but Like a Dumb manipulator, In The game it's More apparent that He's a Shady person and It's not half as subtle as it Was in The whole series. Having that, I Think It's really satisfying seeing a HP Protagonist actually face him off and see who he actually Is.

Luca is a total softie for Merula, They're really adorable.

OHOH I LITERALLY SCREAMED

Luca Trying so Hard to have a Happy memory for The Patronus It's honestly really... personal to me, like I have Many Intrusive Thoughts when I try to revive a Happy memory because Of my own trauma related Things I Can't even Like things I used to. But I'm really proud Of Them for finally making it, Can't I Even Start to describe how Many soft feelings The memory and The whole “Mitten Is my patronus” give me, Your ideas are so awesome I Can't

Luca comforting Merula It's SO BEAUTIFUL and hits too close to home, I hace Many Friends with low self-esteem believing They're Bad persons and I'm The One who brings Them to earth.

It's Good to see The Racoon Again, I'm already putting On my Inner Sherlock Holmes for knowing Of Who Is The Patronus

This Message really It's too long, I'll keep reading In Other menssage in Other day, I Hope your Mother It's fine and takes care Of herself. Have a Good, Brandon!

— The Remembrance anon

Oh my good friend, I am the last person to complain about late comments right now, believe me. You won’t hear any objections from me because I’ve been responding at a snail’s pace myself (and my beloved anons have been so very patient) and because no matter how long it may take for whatever reason, I am always delighted to hear from you, so thank you for making my day!

Trust me, the bit about Rowan bothers me as well. I wanted to incorporate the “Rowan is R” theory because it’s almost a little ridiculous that no one in-game brings up the possibility until the middle of Year 5, when MC has known about R since the start of Year 2. Like, I wanted to acknowledge it. Plus I think it can give a good in-universe explanation for the distance between MC and Rowan beyond the horribly cynical idea that MC outgrew them, which I flat out refuse to accept. Luca would never, could never, leave Rowan behind like that for something so shallow. As for what is to come...well, I suppose you’ll just have to see! You are right though, I think we were like, nine or ten chapters into Year 6 at the point I was writing this.

I have so many headcanons about Tonks and as I went through Luca’s story, I realized that I could absolutely incorporate them. Because she’s canon, she’s one of those characters that it’s easy to forget about or take for granted in the background, but hey - she’s in Luca’s House, part of the best friend squad they formed in Chapter 6, and is one of their roommates on most nights. Plus Luca has a curious tendency to bond with the wildly chaotic types, so of course Tonks would be one of their closest friends. Can I further say that the whole concept you just described about the twins is fantastic and hella chilling? I would read about that. I would read a whole book about that.

Oh, you like Luca’s displeasure with Dumbledore? Hmm, methinks you’re going to like some of the future chapters then...Truly, I didn’t originally intend for this to be an aspect of their character, but the whole incident with them being punished for dueling Merula in Year 1 really stuck with them somehow. It’s very much something that they inherit from me, the criticisms of Dumbledore, but I never realized that a character this soft would inherit them. Fun fact: I used to have a different MC who basically morphed into my iteration of Jacob that always hated Dumbledore because they were just like him and saw him for what he was, one manipulator to another. In general, I have to applaud what this game has done with him because he’s one hundred percent in character - hence why he enrages me so much.

See, see now I’m curious what inspired you to scream. Part of me wants to guess, the other half of me doesn’t want to be presumptuous or pompous. Either way, I’m glad to have gotten such reactions! In any case, thank you so much for what you said about Luca and Merula and the Patronus scene. It means a lot to me because with Luca I basically tried my hand at writing a character with a debilitating mental illness, (a fictional one, obviously) and I wasn’t sure if it landed well or not. One thing I feel very strongly about is MC and Merula’s bond, especially this MC. Luca is the one who picked the “We can talk this out” option at the start and never wavered from that. I’m not even gonna lie, I’ve gone back and forth a lot on what Luca’s Patronus would be, but this is a good one for them because it reflects the people in their life that they love. Not just Mitten, but Merula as well. (She’s a cat for sure.)

Thank you so much once again for sending me these messages and showing me this kindness! I hope that everything is going well for you and that you have a wonderful time!

#My anons are the best #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery #Remembrance #The Remembrance Anon #Spoilers for Remembrance #Nymphadora Tonks #Merula Snyde #Luca Fawley #Rowan Khanna

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pepethehobbit · 4 years

Text

VDS College AU

Okay so first of all, Hi everybody. I have never written anything in my life before, at least not a fan fiction, so please be gentle with me. Also notice that English isn’t my first language, so if there are any mistakes I am sorry and I am asking you to please point them out to me. In general, any constructive criticism is welcomed.

I originally wanted to wait for vds week to post this but I finished it and I would really like your feedback and reactions. I am truly very nervous, I usually don’t put myself out there, so please be kind, yeah?

Now to the fic itself. It’s sort of a little cracky, but not really, I tried my best okay? I was inspired by a fic called “I have hella feelings for you” by MacksDramaticShenanigangs on AO3. It’s an evak fic and it’s really funny and angsty, it has it all, you should all go read it. She was inspired by one particular tumblr post which you can find here.

Okay anyway, enough from me, I hope you enjoy the story, I had certaintly had fun writing it and for my first try, I actually kind of like it. Apart from the title, please ignore the terrible title, I couldn’t come up with anything else.

Speechless

It was Lucas first real day at the University of Antwerp and also the day he saw him for the first time. The week prior had been solely for orientation and no real courses had started. It was just a way to show the freshmen how the Uni works and a chance for getting to know your fellow students. The group he was sorted into was full of other art students like him. There was one student though who he clicked with immediately. He had platinum white hair and always wore, as far as Lucas could tell, a black leather jacket and chunky Dr. Martens. Lucas and Sander discovered that they share a portraits class together and decided to meet in front of the building before classes would start.

So that’s where Lucas found himself right now, in front of the art building, waiting for Sander with a coffee in his hand. He was feeling a mixture of excitement and regret. He was truly happy that he could finally begin his new life, to study what he loves and away from the controlling grasp of his father’s hand. But did he really have to pick his first class on a Monday at 8 o’clock in the fucking morning? His thoughts went back to his friends back in Utrecht and he decided to text them about his poor life choices, throwing in a miss u guys for good measure. Obviously there was no immediate response, as they probably were a bit smarter than to take 8 am classes. When he looked up from his phone he was greeted with the sight of Sander jogging up to him.

“Hey Lucas, I am so sorry I’m late. Did you wait here long? I’m sorry but Robbe was being his extra cuddly self this morning.” said Sander in a way of explaining that made Lucas think he was supposed to understand.

Lucas was a bit confused by this statement as he had no clue who Robbe is. “No worries, I only got here 5 minutes ago. But let’s go inside, I don’t want to sit in the first row.”

They found some free seats at the back of the classroom and while they were sitting down Lucas asked who Robbe is.

“Oh, yeah sorry, of course you wouldn't know. Robbe is my boyfriend, we just moved in together. Everything is still a bit stressful with unpacking and we are waiting for the kitchen to arrive, so he needed some morning cuddles.” While Sander was talking Lucas noticed how his voice filled with excitement and how his smile got considerably wider as he talked about his boyfriend.

Lucas was kind of jealous. Not of Robbe of course. But he wished for that kind of intimacy and love in his life. He knew he was gay and there were a few hook ups here and there back in Utrecht but never anything serious and always hidden from the outside world. His friends and his mum knew but he wants to have a person that would make him happy and that he could show off with pride. He doesn’t want to hide anymore.

“The kitchen should be there by Wednesday, and we are planning on throwing a housewarming party on Friday. You should come. I’ll introduce you to Robbe, I’m sure you guys will get along great, I can feel it.” Sander was grinning as he said it and Lucas easily agreed.

“Yeah sure, I would love to come. I’ve never been to a housewarming party, anything I should bring?” Before Sander could answer the professor walked in and the class started. Sander whispered: “We’ll talk later.”

The next one and a half hours were filled with mostly boring organizational stuff and one homework assignment. The professor wanted to have an overview of his students’ skills. After class Sander had to rush to his next course and yelled over his shoulder as he ran the other way that he will text Lucas the address for the party and that he looks forward to introducing him to Robbe.

Lucas waved him goodbye and headed to the campus cafeteria, he didn’t have time for breakfast this morning and just bought a quick coffee to feel more awake. On his way there a group of three boys caught his attention. Actually it would have been hard to overlook them as they were laughing loudly and gesturing wildly with their skateboards in their hands.

But one of them in particular made Lucas steal a second glance. He was tall, maybe even taller than Lucas, brown eyes, a jawline that could cut glass, a smile that made Lucas’s inside fill with butterflies and dark brown hair that looked so soft and fluffy that Lucas had the sudden urge to go over there and pull his hands through it.He wore a red sweater that looked like it experienced a lot of love throughout the years and loose hanging jeans.

Lucas stopped dead in his tracks as he stared at the beautiful stranger. He only vaguely noticed the other boys, one with blonde curly hair and the other with a red and black striped jacket. The boys continued talking and it looked like they were trying to convince Hot Guy to do something. He was vehemently shaking is head while laughing as the others were nodding their heads enthusiastically and making a look around you motion with their arms.

Lucas noticed that he was still staring at Hot Guy and quickly snapped out of it, he didn’t want to be creepy. And he had places to be and was actually really hungry now. One last look at the boy with the most beautiful and kind looking eyes Lucas has ever seen and he would be on his way.

Only now Lucas was directly looking into them. An expression came across Hot Guy’s face that looked pleasantly surprised and caught off guard at the same time. Hot Guy held his gaze for what felt like forever and Lucas knew he was doomed. He needed to get going or he would develop a useless crush on someone that was probably straight anyway. So he quickly looked away and continued down his path to the cafeteria trying to get those eyes out of his mind.

He was nearly at the entrance when he felt someone tap on his shoulder. He turned around and was once again met with Hot Guy’s face. Only now up close he was even more beautiful than Lucas could have seen from afar. He didn’t know what to do as he kept staring up at him in shock. Turns out he actually is taller than Lucas, if only by a little bit.

Before he had a chance to say anything though, Hot Guy just raised his hand in the universal sign of expecting a high five while lifting his eyebrows expectantly. Lucas was dumbfounded, stared at him for a while longer and then just raised his own hand to slap it against the strangers. Because what else are you supposed to do when the most beautiful boy you have ever seen just comes up to you and silently demands a high five.

Lucas is still in shock but the moment he wants to pull his hand away Hot Guy links their fingers together, swings their now joined hands back and forth a few times and says:

“Hi, I’m Jens. We’re dating now. Love you, babe!”

Before Lucas had a chance to respond or to even fucking process what the hell just happened, Hot Guy winks at him, let’s go of his hand, puts his skateboard on the ground and skates back to the direction he came from.

Lucas was speechless. Truly and utterly speechless. What the hell? He looked after Hot Guy, or Jens apparently, as he skated away so smoothly Lucas was a bit jealous of his skills. He turned a corner and Lucas couldn’t see him anymore. Still being in shock he began to shake himself out of his stupor. He started to laugh as he saw how ridiculous this whole situation was. A few faces turned his way while he just continued to silently shake his head in amusement and disbelief of what the hell just happened.

He stood in front of the cafeteria a while longer still unable to process what that was until the growling of his stomach finally brought him back to reality. He went in, bought himself a croque and sat down near the window to look outside to the other students still mingling around the lawn. Another smile began to spread on his face as he began to recall the feeling of Jens holding his hand tightly in his own.

This is ridiculous, Lucas thought. Don’t get attached, that was just a stupid joke, there is no way that Jens was actually interested in him. Still the situation made him smile and secretly there was a part of him that hoped he would see him again even if the rational part of his brain tried to drown out these thoughts. As he ate his croque Lucas was unable to stop smiling.

The following days were normal. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. He hadn’t seen Jens again and Lucas tried to forget the incident as well as he could. He had met with Sander once in a break between classes to eat lunch. As much as he tried to forget Jens, he found himself telling the story to Sander. He told him he saw him before he was approached by him and that he thought that he was beautiful. Sander smiled knowingly at him but didn’t say anything and let Lucas continue. Lucas finished with: “Well I know it was just a joke anyway and I know he wasn’t serious, how could he have been, he doesn’t know me.”

“That sounds like there should be a but somewhere.” Sander smirked at him. He has this expression as if he knew something Lucas didn’t.

“No, there is no but. Sure, he was the most beautiful man I have ever seen, but it was a joke and I shouldn’t get my hopes up in ever seeing him again. This is a big campus with lots of students. I am sure he pulls stuff like this with a lot of other people.” Lucas tried hard not to sound jealous, because that would truly be a bit pathetic. Jealousy for hypothetical people? Get a grip, Lucas.

“Well now I am just offended, what about me? I am clearly prettier than Jens.” Sander smiled teasingly at Lucas but something else caught his attention. “Wait, wait, wait, I didn’t say his name was Jens, Sander!” Lucas saw a flash of an “oh shit” expression cross Sander’s face and before Sander could say something back, Lucas nearly shouted in surprise: “You know Jens! Holy shit! How? Is he a friend of yours? Did he tell you about that already?” There were some more questions racing through his head right now but before he could utter them Sander stood up abruptly and mumbled an excuse of being late to meet with Robbe.

“You can’t just drop a bomb like that and go Sander, who is he? I want to know him!” Lucas said in disbelief. But Sander was already on his way, at the exit he looked back at a still very much in shock Lucas and said: “I’ll text you the address for our party tomorrow. Who knows, maybe your mystery man will be there. Then you can ask him yourself.”

And with that, Lucas was left speechless for the second time in just one week.

His initial plan to forget about Jens turned out to be quite hard after Sander had accidentally revealed that he knew the person that had left him so amazed. With the connection to Sander, Lucas let himself hope that he would have a chance of getting to know Jens. The rational part of his brain told him that he shouldn’t go to that party, Jens will be there and Lucas will just embarrass himself in front of him with his obvious crush. But his heart told him to go and to take the chance. Even if Jens really was only joking and he wasn’t the least bit interested in Lucas, it was still a great opportunity to make new friends here in Antwerp and maybe even laugh with Jens about the whole situation. Without revealing Lucas giant crush of course.

So, that’s how he found himself in front of an older looking apartment building looking for the doorbell of Driesen and Ijzermans being rather nervous. What if Jens was really there? Or worse, what if he wasn’t? He was just about to contemplate leaving when a girl with platinum blonde hair like Sander’s arrived at the door and asked: “Are you here for the housewarming party as well?” Lucas took that as his sign that he should just suck it up and give it a chance. He smiled at her and said: “Yes I am. I’m Lucas. I met Sander at orientation week and he invited me here.”

“Oh so you are an art student as well? I’m Zoe by the way.” She said it while she pressed the door bell and a few seconds later they were buzzed in. They held small talk in the elevator all the way up to the top floor. Zoe apparently was Robbe’s old roommate and they knew each other from school. She now also studies law at the University of Antwerp.

When they arrived at the top floor the door to the flat was already open, signalling any visitors where the party was happening. They could hear the music and faint conversations from the hall. Zoe confidently entered the flat and was immediately greeted by a boy with brown, long, wavy hair, in clothes that were at least one size to big for him.

“Robbe! It’s so nice to finally see you again, it’s been way to long.” Zoe exclaimed while she hugged him hello. Sander appeared behind Robbe and hugged Zoe as well once his boyfriend was done cuddling his old roommate. He noticed Lucas standing somewhat awkwardly at the side of the doorway and ushered him inside.

“Hey Lucas, you came! I wasn’t sure if you really would after our last conversation.” At that Robbe looked a bit confused. Sander turned to him and just said with a certain conspirational and suggestive tone to his voice: “Robbe, that’s the Lucas, the one your best friend and I told you about.” At that Robbe’s confused expression turned into one of recognition and he hugged Lucas enthusiastically in greeting.

“Oh Lucas, of course. I have heard so much about you.” Now it was Lucas turn to be confused, because he genuinely doesn’t have a clue as to why Robbe would be so excited to meet him. Also who is Robbe’s best friend, how does he know Lucas and why would he talk about him a lot? It doesn’t make any sense.

He tried to shake himself out of his confusion, just greeted Robbe in return and told him that Sander basically never shuts up about him as well and that he feels like he knows him already. At the mention of Sander talking about Robbe, he just blushed and looked up into his boyfriends eyes. Sander leaned down and pressed a quick but firm kiss to Robbe’s lips and it seemed like Robbe needed a few seconds to come back to earth.

“Anyway, it’s really nice to finally have a face to put to that story. Make yourself comfortable, drink anything you want, beer is in the fridge and if you want to smoke we have balcony.” At the last part of the sentence Robbe wiggled his eyebrows suggestively making it clear that he did not talk about smoking cigarettes.

Lucas laughed at that. “I do actually have some with me. I don’t trust you Belgians with something so precious as weed.”

As Robbe laughed Lucas noticed someone coming out of a room, stepping into the hall and he had to suck in a breath. It was him. Jens. Hot Guy. But not in his red sweater this time. He was dressed in a blue button down, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His rather loose hanging pants from the first time Lucas saw him were replaced with tighter black jeans and that just really wasn’t fair to Lucas. His hair though looked still as soft as Lucas remembered and he is again overcome with the urge to run his fingers through it.

“Robbe, what is taking you so long? I thought we were gonna smoke.” Jens made his way over to them and Lucas tried to prepare himself as best as he could. But nothing could have prepared him for the glory that is Jens up close. He must have already drank a fair amount, his cheeks were flushed slightly red and when he saw Lucas he stopped dead in his tracks and swayed a little having to hold on onto the wall next to him.

It seemed like Jens got his chill back rather quickly though. He threw his arms up around both Sander’s and Robbe’s shoulders, standing in the middle of them. He didn’t look at them but held Lucas gaze steady when he uttered the sentence that would leave Lucas speechless for the third time this week. All of these moments had something to do with Jens.

“Robbe. Sander. Allow me to introduce you to my future boyfriend.”

Lucas gaped at him, not really knowing what to say, while Sander and Robbe laughed at this ridiculous comment. But then Lucas saw an opportunity. Didn’t he say Jens and he were already dating? He looked up at Jens and tried to infuse his gaze with as much confidence and cheek as possible.

“Future boyfriend? I thought we were already dating?” At that Jens’s smile grew wider and he stretched his hand towards Lucas and said: “I’m Jens.”

Lucas smirked at him and took Jens’s hand in his for the second time this week. “I know. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t even know your name?”

“Well, looks like our help is not needed here anymore. We’ll leave you to it.” Sander pulled Robbe and Zoe, who was still standing next to Lucas with an amused face, away from the doorway and further into the flat leaving Jens and Lucas alone in the hall, still holding each other’s hands.

They stared at each other for a few moments without saying anything. Lucas noticed that the blush was still present on Jens’ cheeks and a hoop earring that he hasn’t seen before, that somehow just made him even hotter. It was becoming a bit awkward just standing there, staring at each other but Lucas for the life of him did not want to stop. He scrambled his brain for something to say but was saved by Jens interrupting his thoughts.

“I must say, you are at an unfair advantage. You are definitely the better boyfriend. I don’t even know your name.”

Right, yeah. Lucas totally forgot to introduce himself. He felt like they knew each other already, it was really weird what Jens made him feel in these short interactions they had until now.

“Well that’s just rude. You always go up to random boys, claim them as your boyfriend and forget to ask their names?” Lucas said instead of introducing himself. He had way too much fun with this situation. He was finally talking to Jens, he seems funny and if Lucas is reading the signs right he is even flirting with him a little bit.

“You were not a random choice.” Jens mumbled under his breath and looked down at his hand. Lucas wasn’t quite sure if he heard that correctly.

“What did you say?” Lucas asked but instead of answering Jens just pulled at his hand that he was still holding and led him into the flat. As he walked in front of Lucas with their joined hands he turned his head back over his shoulder to look at Lucas and asked: “Wanna smoke?”

There really only was one simple answer to that question. “Sure” Lucas said with a grin on his face so wide it could split his face in half. Jens answering smile was just as wide and he pulled Lucas through the kitchen onto the balcony. Thankfully they were the only ones with this idea, as they were alone once again as they stepped into the cool night air. Lucas was not quite ready to share Jens yet. He wanted to get to know him more.

“This is actually a little bit embarrassing, again. I didn’t bring any weed.” Jens looked at him sheepishly and Lucas had to laugh.

“You invite me to smoke with you, without having anything on you? That was a great plan really, you really have thought this trough, haven’t you?”

Jens tried to level him with a look that Lucas read as “I am not impressed” and Lucas just raised his eyebrows at him in return in a playfully mocking way.

“Okay, yes, I admit, not one of my best moments. Maybe I just looked for an excuse to be alone with you some more, you are my boyfriend after all. I don’t like sharing you.” Lucas was truly baffled. How could Jens seem almost shy at one moment and then just say stuff like that with a confidence that Lucas wishes he had. Lucas just tried to keep up with the banter and not completely melt at the sight of Jens so close to him.

“Oh you mean the boyfriend you still don’t know the name of?” Lucas said with a cheeky smile up at Jens.

“Because you won’t give it to me.” And that was just the perfect opportunity for Lucas to tease Jens even further.

“Woah, woah, woah, that’s moving a bit fast don’t you think? We haven’t even kissed yet.” Lucas can’t help the pleased smile as Jens is having a coughing fit and trying to control his breathing again. He didn’t know where his confidence was coming from but he liked that it seemed to have an effect on Jens. The blush that went away when they stepped onto the balcony is back at full force as he sputterd out incoherent sentences.

“That’s not what I… I just wanted… That came out so wrong! I mean not that I would mind if we did, you’re gorgeous. Oh god sorry I’m making you uncomfortable, you barely know me and I just…”

Before Jens could continue though, Lucas decided to save him. “Jens, oh my god, shut up.” He laughed while he says it, took his hand in his again and introduced himself. “My name is Lucas. And I actually have some weed we could share. It’s better than your Belgian shit anyway.” Lucas got his already rolled joint out of his pocket, lit it up and took his first drag.

At that, Jens seemed to return to his chill demeanour and relaxed his shoulders again. He huffed out a relieved laugh and said: “Come on, you probably haven’t even tried Belgian weed. Don’t knock it till you tried it. Next time, I’ll bring the weed. I promise.”

“Next time?” Lucas couldn’t help but ask, as he really wanted to see Jens again after tonight. He handed the joint over to Jens and he didn’t make a great effort to avoid their fingers brushing over each other.

Jens smiled at him in a way that can almost be described as fondly. He took a drag, exhaled the smoke, looked Lucas in the eye intently and said: “Yeah next time. You really expect to never see your boyfriend again?”

Lucas laughed at that but it came out weak. He didn’t know if this is still just part of the joke for Jens or if there is a part of him that really wants to see Lucas again. He just had to ask.

“Why did you do it?” He looked down at his hands, avoiding Jens’ gaze while he waited for the answer.He didn’t specify what he was talking about but Jens knew anyway.

“Honestly, it was a dare. My friends came up with it. I was supposed to go up to anyone, give them a high five and say that we are dating now and then just leave without saying anything else. I didn’t really wanna do it, but I thought the idea was funny.”

Oh. Well, that definitely wasn’t the answer Lucas was hoping for. Part of him thought about this as well. That it was a prank would be the most logical explanation for it. But the other part of him had hoped that Jens did it because he was interested in Lucas.

“Oh, okay.” Lucas didn’t know what else to say to that. He must have done a poor job of concealing the disappointment in his voice as Jens chuckled, lifted his finger to Lucas’ chin to make him look him into his eyes again. Lucas saw amusement there and maybe also a bit of hope.

“But then I saw you.” Jens said in explanation as if this would clarify any of the insecurity in Lucas’ brain.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I didn’t want to go up to just anyone and do what I did with you. I thought the idea was ridiculous and I would only embarrass myself. But then I saw you… and I don’t know. I wanted to talk to you. So I decided to suck it up and accepted the dare. It was just an excuse to hold your hand really.” Jens explained with a chuckle. He then looked into Lucas’ eyes with hope and an edge of vulnerability.

“Oh, okay.” This time it was not disappointment filling his voice but absolute wonder and amazement. He didn’t know what to say to Jens so he just continued to stare into those beautiful brown eyes. Jens’ hand was still under Lucas’ chin. When did their faces get so close? He saw how Jens’ gaze dropped down to Lucas lips and as if on instinct Lucas couldn’t help but pull them between his teeth to wet them. He inched his face closer to Jens, dropping his gaze to his mouth just as Jens looked up into his eyes again. The corner of Jens’ mouth curled up as he made the distance between their lips even smaller. Lucas could feel the other boy’s breath across his lips. They were only inches apart now and Lucas was desperate to know how those soft looking lips would feel on his own.

The balcony door opened and two other boys Lucas didn’t know stepped on to it. Jens and he scrambled apart in shock and looked at each other sheepishly.

“Hey, one of you have a lighter?” One of the boys asked. Lucas, glad for the distraction, gave his lighter to him so he could lit up his cigarette. He was still trying to process the intensity of the moment he and Jens just shared.

“Thanks, man. You planing on sharing this?” He asked with a smile and pointed to the joint still in Jens hand which wasn’t even lit anymore. Jens looked at Lucas for confirmation as it was his weed. Lucas just nodded and for the duration it took to smoke the rest of the joint he found himself trapped in awkward small talk with these two boys and Jens. He just wanted to be alone with Jens again and maybe finally find out what those lips feel like on his. But the moment was gone and Lucas couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

When the boys stepped back inside, Jens and him followed them. But before Lucas could step back into the kitchen, Jens reached for his hand and linked their fingers together. Lucas looked up at him in surprise. Jens only shrugged with his shoulders and motioned for Lucas to follow him to the living room, where many people were already dancing.

And so Lucas spend the rest of the evening dancing with Jens and talking to him and his friends on the couch when they needed a break. He found out that Jens is Robbe’s best friend and at that he leaned into Jens’ space and whispered in his ear: “So you talked to Robbe about me, huh?” Jens only blushed and pushed him away just to pull him close to his side again. He found out that Jens is studying music, has lived in Antwerp his whole life, that his baby sister is called Lotte and that he loves her a lot. He found out that Jens came out as bisexual in the last year of high school where he just kissed a boy in the middle of a party for everyone of his classmates to see. Everything he found out about Jens that evening made his crush on him grow even bigger. He wasn’t just the most beautiful boy he had ever seen, he was also funny, confident, loving and just the nicest person Lucas has ever met. During the evening they sat closer and closer together, Jens never let go of his hand and sometimes he would play with Lucas’ curls in a way that it seems he doesn’t even realize that he was doing it. Lucas loved these moments the most.

When the party died down and it was time to leave, Jens insisted on walking Lucas home, even though it was only a fifteen minute walk.

“You really don’t have to. I know the way.”

“Do you though? You just moved here, I need to show you the way around the city.”

And who was Lucas to say no to such an offer. The walk home was spend in comfortable silence. Here and there Jens pointed something out to Lucas, a great cafe at the corner or the best place for fries in the city. Lucas tried to remember these tips but it was currently hard for him to concentrate on anything other than the feeling of Jens’ hand in his.

When they arrived at Lucas’ dorm building, Jens turned toward Lucas and just looked at him nervously.

“I… I had a really great time tonight. God, that sounds so lame.” Lucas just laughed but before he could say anything in return Jens continued. “Okay just let me say this. I just… I just want you to know that… that it may have started as a joke, but I would really like to see you again and take you out on a real date. If that is something you would want, I mean. You don’t have to of course. I know I am not your boyfriend or anything, that was just a joke. And even if you were my boyfriend you are of course not forced to go anywhere with me and you don’t need to fee-”

Lucas just couldn’t wait anymore. A rambling and nervous Jens is just about the most endearing thing Lucas has ever seen. He pushes himself on his tiptoes into Jens’ space and presses their lips together. His hands go up to Jens waist and stay there even when he pulls back. He looks up at Jens who still has his eyes closed and his mouth hangs open a little, as if he is waiting for another kiss.

“I really want to see you again too.”

At that Jens opens his eyes, looks at Lucas in disbelief and awe, like he can’t believe his luck. He smiles and pull his bottom lip between his lips as he asks: “Yeah?”

Lucas answering smile is just as dopey and wide and he can’t help but look at the way Jens bites his lips. He wants to kiss those lips again. “Yeah.” Lucas says with a definite and happy tone in his voice. He has never been more sure of anything in his life.

“That’s really good. Not gonna lie, it would’ve really sucked for me if you didn’t want to see your boyfriend again.”

Lucas laughed out loud and Jens looked at him in wonder. Lucas hands travelled from Jens’ waist up to his neck in an attempt to pull him in even closer. Jens came willingly and encircled Lucas’ back with his arms. This time it was Jens who closed the distance between them. He rested his forehead against Lucas’ and just breathed him in for a few seconds. The intensity of this moment threatening to overwhelm both of them, but then Jens leaned his head down to capture Lucas’ lips once more.

As Jens’ lips glided smoothly across his own, as Jens hugged Lucas so tightly there wasn’t even an inch of space between them, as Jens let out a soft moan when Lucas bit his bottom lip gently, as Lucas was finally able to feel the soft curls of Jens’ hair between his fingers, that’s when Lucas decided that he would never want to stop kissing Jens.

#vds #van der stoffels #lucas van der heijden #jens stoffels #wtfock #my writing

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