"5 Tips for Dating a Werewolf" by TJ Klune
1. If a werewolf has locked onto your scent, it is best to let them get as much of it as they can. If they are in shifted form, it might mean a wet nose to your face or a tongue in your hair. Fear not! They are, in a way, like a large dog, if a large dog were capable of human wants and whims. If you find yourself in such a position, do not move! Let the werewolf finish its scent-marking. It could take anywhere from five minutes to six days, so get comfortable!
2. Should you find yourself in possession of a dead animal left upon your doorstep, don’t scream and/or vomit! Chances are, it is from the same werewolf who sniffed you, wanting to make sure you are provided for. This is how a lycanthrope expresses interest. Be careful not to offend the wolf, as they might be watching from behind a tree or a bush. If you are averse to blood and gore, pretend someone dropped a cherry pie filled with bones on your porch.
(On the off chance that the dead animal was left by a cult and not a werewolf, please be prepared in case you are marked for a ritual sacrifice.)
3. Going on a date with a werewolf can be a fun event! Given that you might be in public, it would be best not to ask your werewolf suitor to “shift in the middle of an Applebee’s just to see if it scares the server into giving free appetizers.” While many people enjoy mozzarella sticks (especially when given under threat of fangs), using your werewolf in such a way to get fried cheese is considered bad form. Your werewolf has feelings, and no one likes to be used.
(If your werewolf does shift to get you cheese, reward them by telling them you think they are the greatest creature in existence. Positive reinforcement goes a long way!)
4. Uh oh. Your werewolf has driven you home, arches a single, devastating eyebrow, and says, “Are you going to invite me inside?”
Remember, werewolves aren’t vampires, meaning they do not need permission to enter your residence. However, good wolves always wait for permission before entering a dwelling that is not their own.
In this case, given the arched eyebrow, the werewolf is hoping to be invited inside for “adult activities.” This might include rolling on the carpet or having sex in the kitchen and/or up against a wall. If you choose to do this, you might see the werewolf’s eyes flashing. Good news! This means the wolf is having a wonderful time.
5. Your wolf stayed the night! How lucky are you? If you wake up the next morning with the shifter lying on top of you, it is very important that you do not move until they have decided to move on their own. Waking up a sleeping wolf can sometimes be difficult work, but if you keep a squeaky ball next to your bed, now is the time to put it to good use. Squeeze it near the wolf’s ear and ask, “Who’s a good boy? Who wants to play with the ball? Is it you? Is it you?” Your wolf will most likely glower at you and threaten your life, but if you squeeze the ball three times, the wolf will be distracted. Throw it to the floor, and as the wolf chases after it, consider making waffles! Werewolves love waffles.
(God help you if you make pancakes. You have been warned.)
If you have survived these first five steps, you are to be commended! That means you most likely will have a werewolf for the rest of your life. A werewolf is a commitment. Adopt, don’t shop!
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i can finally show the artwork i did for @editions_bookmark, featured in the interior of the french special edition of brothersong by tj klune 🐺💜 i've kept this private since 2022, i'm glad it's out in the world now!
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Have a bunch of cute little chibis that I drew for Dazzling Bookish Shop! These are all designs for acrylic charms included in their monthly subscription (and sometimes their special editions!)
In order the books are: Wolfsong, Ravensong, Cemetery Boys, The Sunbearer Trials, All That's Left in the World, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Icebreaker, AFTG, Gideon the Ninth, The Charm Offensive, The Darkness Outside Us and Legend & Lattes ♥
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Okay so I’m looking through Green Creek fan art and why do all of you people think these men are all fuckin twinks????
I refuse to believe homosexual werewolves who like smelling each other are all these hairless lil twinks bffr I know too much about hairy gay men to let yall just lie to yourselves
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GET BOOKT
A guide of books to gift the people in your life and yourself!
For the people looking to put a different kind of magic into their holidays…
The Fragile Threads of Power by V. E. Schwab
For the genre connoisseur with a love for high concepts in short form…
Africa Risen edited by Sheree Renée Thomas, Oghenechovwe Donald Ekpeki, & Zelda Knight (now in paperback!)
For the treasured party member who’s saved your character’s life many times on TTRPG night…
Bookshops & Bonedust by @travisbaldree
━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━
For those who love (or possibly are 👀) gay werewolves
Wolfsong by TJ Klune
For the mutual who devoured the epic highs and lows of Riverdale and craves more…
The Luminaries by Susan Dennard, now in paperback!)
━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━
For your brave and luckless friend, constantly trapped in transit purgatory and upset about it…
The Dead Take the A Train by Cassandra Khaw & Richard Kadrey
For the true buckaroos trotting beside you…
Camp Damascus by @drchucktingle
For the friend who says “but have we considered burning it all down?” on an alarming and refreshingly regular basis…
Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin
━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━
For the friend who has a hot date on Friday night (with their book)...
Fall of Ruin and Wrath by Jennifer L. Armentrout
For the avid doodler who sketches plans for their future volcanic villain lair equipped with a space laser…
Starter Villain by @jscalzi
━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━
Not enough books? We agree. Check out our other GET BOOKT guide.
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So this was my piece for Rainbow Crate last February. It was an honour, and just simply a treat to bring some of my fave characters to life. I’m forever indebted to @glitterghost too for the opportunity.
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