#I’m looking at YOU zack snyder

[josiadorstuff]

I just had a dream where a family of homeless immigrants were starving and interrupted a Justice League potluck, so Superman gave them the stew he made and used his cape and flight to protect them from the rain. If that isn’t Superman, I don’t know what is.

#dream #superman #dc #justice league #dreaming #i’m looking at you #zack snyder

[writingsbychlo]

the slytherin boys + barbie

draco: pouts when you say you’ll go with pansy but also refuses to dress up as ken, or dress up in the slightest. would take you both to watch it and surprises you last minute on the day by wearing a pink t-shirt he borrowed from enzo. rolls his eyes when you get excited but is actually very happy with himself for it.

mattheo: would want to do a double feature with oppenheimer too. makes it a whole date scenario. buys all the snacks but makes you carry them in your purse. wants to dress up for oppenheimer (???) so he wears a suit and a fedora and tells you to wear a pink minidress for barbie. highkey the best dressed couple to go see the double feature, everyone comments on it and he never lets it go. (“see!! I told you it would be cool to dress up for both.”)

theo: would say he’s only dressing up if he can wear the shirtless ken in the fur coat outfit. buys the tickets and the snacks and helps you pick your outfit even if he’s still pouting because you won’t let him wear the mink coat. has the “I’m just Ken” song stuck in his head for a week after and sings it non-stop, drives everyone insane. talks in your ear all the way through but in a funny/cute way, with jokes. (I firmly believe he would do this with every movie though). orders a “I am Kenough” replica hoodie and wears it to smoke in the astronomy tower.

enzo: had a google alert set for ticket release day bought them with the intensity one would buy taylor swift concert tickets. does not care in the slightest for oppenheimer. would wear a full pink outfit with you and possibly even let you bleach his hair to be ken as long as you promised to dye it back after. (“look, cousin, now we match!”, draco refuses to speak to him for a whole week.)

tom: agrees to go and will wear one of your pink scrunchies on his wrist as a gesture of love, and it works. does, however, love your barbie outfit and makes sure to whisper some very dirty things to be sure you know. is stoically thrilled when you surprise him with oppenheimer tickets for the same day. holds your hand through barbie and kisses your knuckles occasionally. scoffs when you laugh at all the ‘typical men’ scenes (Zack Snyder cut of Justice League 💀). is deeply concerned when you play “What Was I Made For” on the way home after and immediately switches it to the “Barbie World” credit song

#listen IDK what’s goin on here I had some thoughts so I wrote them down?? idk #theodore nott #mattheo riddle #tom riddle #draco malfoy #lorenzo berkshire #mattheo riddle/reader #mattheo riddle x reader #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle/reader #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott/reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy/reader #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire/reader

[martiniluvr]

zack snyder looked at this man

and said “what if we made him so miserable and tortured and angry” and everyone at dc just agreed.

sleep with one eye open mr snyder. I’m coming for you. for all your crimes.

#zack snyder count your mf days #don’t get me started on what he did to wonder woman #just yappin #martini rants #dc comics #superman #clark kent #justice league #batman #henry cavill #man of steel #wonder woman #diana of themyscira

[apocalypse-shuffle]

BRUCE WAYNE | BATMAN (generalized canon)

────────────────────

────────────────────

“Staked Claim” (Bruce Wayne x Gn!Reader)

| Bruce and the Reader take stock of each other’s scars. That’s it, that’s the story.

| SFW, scar examination, poor expressions of emotion, fluff -vigilante!reader

| Pictures used are just for aesthetics and have no contextual meaning to the story. (Picture source: Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice 2016 & Zack Snyder's Justice League 2021)

| 800+ words

The barely noticeable weight of the blanket shifts when you move under it. Soft cost-more-than-most-people’s-rent sheets gliding against your skin.

The muscles in your arm ache in tandem with you reaching up to rest your palm flat against the warmth of the owner of the bed you’re in.

“What about this one?”

You watch, genuinely taken for a second, the hairs on his arm stand at the feeling of your breath ghosting across his bicep.

He doesn’t waste a beat before he answers.

“Firefly,” rumbles right after you ask. Of course. Why would he need to think that hard about the marks on his person? They might not actively be on his mind but it’d be hard to forget a memory that’s physically staked its claim on your body.

Firefly made sense though. The scar tissue was as erratically placed as the pyromaniac’s own personality. It also, like many of his scars, has the added bonus of looking twice healed over. Considering Bruce’s clear allergen to sitting idle that doesn’t surprise you.

“Why the sudden interest?”

Laying on your side you shrug with the shoulder not attached to the arm you have braced on the bed. Bruce’s eyes have sparked with a level of interest that you’ve figured out means he’s reading you. Or trying to at least.

“I mean, there’s a lot. Why? You don’t want me to be curious?”

“Most people refrain from asking questions.”

The wry lilt he takes on has you scoffing while you drag your free hand down to his abdomen. The area’s so tense that when you push down the muscles stubbornly refuse to give.

“Most people are scared of hurting your feelings.”

“My feelings?” he grunts.

You sigh out an agreeing “Uh huh,” and press down more incessantly with your fingers. Still no give but you know he gets the message when he forces himself to relax with a heavy exhale. You grin. “Not that I don’t care about your feelings, of course. I just know that if you didn’t want to talk you wouldn’t.”

If you were a different person now would probably be the moment you’d lean in to brush a kiss to the pink tissue left behind from the burn, show Bruce the little bit of kindness he doesn’t often get. As it stands you only hum, hand already moving to the next mark. Already searching for another answer, brown skin stark against Bruce’s deathly pale.

As usual Bruce indulged you.

“You’re looking for yours.”

It’s not a question. You answer him like he’d posed one anyway.

“No,” you say, but when he grabs your hand - hard earned calluses rubbing against your own similarly worn skin - you don’t stop him.

The scarred patch of skin he directs you to is on the other side of his torso, out of sight from your angle, and when your fingers brush up against it you don’t hesitate to laugh. An amused puff of air hits cool skin and Bruce shivers minutely at your warmth.

You croon lowly at him and press a kiss over the spot on his chest your breath hit. Only when he lets out a grumble of a sigh, relaxing just that much more into the bed, do you press more firmly against the knot beneath your fingers.

“This was the poison arrowhead too, wasn’t it?”

Bruce doesn’t even react in any major way, just gives you an exasperated, even slightly amused look.

“If I’m remembering constantly having to reopen the wound to flush it out correctly, then yes.”

Another grin pulls at your lips, you move your head to press another lingering kiss to the side of his neck. It’s not an apology.

“Glad I could make a lasting impression,” you say and Bruce chuckles like that was at all a sane response in the way only someone else who went around the world doing what you both did would understand.

From where his left arm is wrapped around your waist Bruce slides his fingers low and then slides them backwards until the pads of his fingers make contact with a thick line of matted skin. He caresses his physical claim on you with his own brand of tenderness.

It’s your turn to shiver then. You can feel how Bruce smiles against your head; fingers pressing down more firmly on the scar.

“Batarang,” he whispers in your ear. He noses at your hairline and presses a kiss on your temple next and it’s all you can do to keep quiet.

That peace can only last for so long once your gazes meet.

Simultaneously the two of you burst into quiet breathless laughter, curling into each other’s spaces and bodies slotting into one another like you were cut from the same cloth then mercilessly separated but had finally, miraculously, found each other again.

Palm curling almost protectively over that mess of destroyed tissue on his pelvis - your mark - you smile the realist smile you have in months, lungs aching with laughter and a comfortable warmth settling just under your skin.

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed!!

btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it! this is a sideblog tho so I won’t respond.

#bruce wayne #batman #black!reader #black y/n #bruce wayne x black!reader #bruce wayne x gn!reader #vigilante!reader #batman x black!reader #batman x gn!reader #bruce wayne imagine #batman imagine #bruce wayne x reader #batman x reader #black gn reader #x black!reader #gn!reader #bruce wayne fluff

[agronzky]

⠀⠀⠀𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐄 (𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑) 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒. ♡

“To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn't just about horses, I lost interest.”

“I'm not pretty anymore!”

“Please call me mother.”

“It is literally impossible to be a woman.”

“You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough.”

“We have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.“

“It's too hard!”

“It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you!”

“I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us.”

“Humans have only one ending. Ideas live forever.”

“We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they've come.”

“I thought I might stay over tonight.”

“Did you bring your rollerblades?”

“Do you guys ever think about dying?”

“I need a clicky pen.”

“It's like I've been in a dream where I was really invested in the Zack Snyder cut of 'Justice League'.”

“Can you start the movie over and just talk the whole time?”

“I don't control the railways or the flow of commerce…”

“I thought we discontinued her.”

“We're just better at hiding it.”

“Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility?”

“You can be brainwashed, or you can be ugly. There's nothing in between.”

“Yeah, because actually, my job... it's just beach.”

“I just don't know who I am without you.”

“I'm sensing some kind of entendre here... and it appears to be double.”

“I'll play the guitar at you.”

“I'll see you on the Malibu Beach!”

“She's not dying, she's just having an existential crisis.”

“You don't have your license.”

“I am never going to get out of here!”

“I hope nobody sees us.”

“I’m trained to stand confidently here.”

“It is the best day ever.”

“Every night is girls night.”

“She has her own money, her own house, her own career.”

“What can’t Barbie do?”

“I don’t have anything big planned.”

“You can go back to your regular life, and forget any of this ever happened.”

“Everything is almost like reversed here.”

“We sell dreams and imagination and sparkle.”

“The real world is forever and irrevocably messed up.”

“That’s life. It’s all change.”

“I want to be a part of the people that make meaning, not the thing that is made.”

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay meme #sentence starters #rph #barbie 2023 #barbie movie #rp ask meme

[kirbyskisses]

Ohhhhh I’ve never even heard of Batman forever!! But he does look fiiiiiineee I know what my new hyperfixation is going to be, I’m so serious. It’s so hard to keep track of all the different variations of Batman 😭😭

A handy-dandy guide to all the (live-action, cinematic) Batmen

Tim Burton’s Batman

Batman (1989) - played by Micheal Keaton

Batman Returns (1992) - played by Michael Keaton

The originals; beloved and nostalgic for a lot of people. Took Batman from kinda goofy and kiddish in the media, put some darker tones on screen. A little basic thematically and cinematically by today’s standards and doesn’t follow now well-know parts of the character - batman kills in these movies for instance. Still iconic soundtrack by Prince.

Joel Schumacher’s (RIP🙏🏾) Batman

Batman Forever (1995) - played by Val Kilmer

Batman and Robin (1997) - played by George Clooney

While technically, in the same universe, as the Tim Burton movies, after Batman Returns, was criticized for being too dark for child audiences of the time, Joel Schumacher was bought in. And with a very gay 80s director, came Batman movies that were universally panned for being overblown, camp, and childish. They still get clowned and memed on today, but they’re cult classics now though thanks to some pretty popular, YouTube reviews that reveal a lot about their story and production history - Batman Forever is my favorite of all of them. Also, great theme song: Kiss from a Rose by Seal.

Sidenote: the only movies to feature Batgirl and Robin

Christopher Nolan’s Batman

Batman Begins (2005) - played by Christian Bale

The Dark Knight (2008) - played by Christian Bale

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) - played by Christian Bale

The big ones. The Nolan Trilogy. Definitely the most popular. Brought the character back from its then camp and admonished reputation by making it a lot darker, a lot grittier and a lot more realistic. Being the first Batman to use digital cameras and having an Academy Award winning performance by the late great Heath Ledger as the Joker made these movies insanely loved. If you weren’t there, I can’t even explain to you how big they were.

Zack Snyder’s Batman (aka DCEU)

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016), Suicide Squad (2016), Justice League (2017), Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021), The Flash (2023)

all played by Ben Affleck

Don’t think about it. I hate it. We’re moving on.

Matt Reeves’ Batman

The Batman (2022) - played by Robert Pattinson

The most recent, incredibly critically acclaimed, the first good Batman in a decade. My second favorite of all of them. Somehow, even darker, grittier and more realistic than the Nolan trilogy.

BONUS:

Kevin Conroy’s Batman

The actor responsible for voice acting Batman in basically every piece of animation from the 90s to about the 2010s. Beloved by all, may he rest in peace.

Adam West’s Batman

The campy 60s show. It’s silly, but it still has the best Catwoman and the scene where Adam West has to play Bruce Wayne calling Batman on the phone is criminally good acting. Again, rest in peace.

#kirby’s asks🌸 #batman #bruce wayne #the dark knight #the joker #justice league #catwoman #michael keaton #val kilmer #george clooney #robert pattinson #battinson #the riddler #btas #fanfiction #batman x reader #bruce wayne x reader #Batfamily

[cinemageddonreviews]

I’ve neglected to provide my thoughts on the first 2 episodes of My Adventures With Superman. Simply put, I am so relieved to see that this show is able to portray Superman for who he really is, instead of what Zack Snyder and his bullshit “vision” wants him to be.

It’s colorful, wholesome and funny, while staying true to what makes Superman, Superman. I also appreciate how the show adds new elements to the mythos like giving Krypton their own alien language instead of just having them speak English like every other lazy alien design ever.

This is easily one of the most relatable interpretation of Superman I’ve ever seen, one that has been missing ever since Snyder was given the chance to pillage his good name in order to make a Superman that fits with his vision that also includes a Batman that gets raped in jail. (His words, look it up. WTF?)

I’m noticing people criticizing the lack of action and its emphasis on dialogue and bantering, but frankly, I prefer when characters are allowed to be characters and develop and grow instead of the show focusing on action scene after action scene. Not saying I don’t like action but what good is the action if you don’t care bout who’s doin the fighting? It’s only been 2 episodes but I’m really digging this and I can’t wait for the new episode, and since they just confirmed a second season, I can’t wait for more after this one ends.

PS. Whoever’s idea was it to design Lois Lane like this deserves a raise and a position of power in WB, because… holy fuck ❤️❤️❤️ don’t even get me started on Supes

#my adventures with superman #Superman #Lois lane #wb #Warner bros #adult swim #Cartoon Network #dc #dc comics

[lulu2992]

Decoding the scripts and secret messages in Rebel Moon

Part 2: Solving the riddle of Noble’s Bone Staff

On December 23, 2023, Zack Snyder posted this:

The idea of uncovering yet another secret got me very excited, so I looked for the Bone Staff in the guide. Here is the image as it appears on the website:

I slightly cropped it, but yes, it really is this small and you can barely see anything... Still, if you look closely, you will notice a series of little vertical lines all along the handle. Well, they’re not just lines; they’re letters, and they form the “secret inscription” fans were challenged to decode!

Contrary to what the post said, though, it seemed to me this script didn’t look like the New Imperium font. Instead, it reminded me a lot of the symbols I had seen elsewhere in the guide, on the Priests and Scribes’ outfits (more on this later), and on Kora’s gun:

I learned from AurekFonts, who worked on several typefaces for the film (along with Louie Mantia, Jr.), that this other font was most likely “designed primarily by the Speculative Civilization Advisor, Adam Forman” and called “Old Imperium”. This is the name I’m going to use from now on.

The guide says the message on the Guardian Gun means “My life for hers”, so I now had 10 letters to work with. On the bone staff, I also noticed the “brackets”, which I concluded served as spaces/word separators in Old Imperium, were upside-down compared to the ones on the gun, so I deduced that, to read the message, I first had to rotate the image by 180 degrees.

But even after doing all that, decoding the inscription remained difficult because of the image’s fairly low resolution... After a lot of squinting, I still managed to count the words and determine how many letters they contained. The message is a 38-word sentence that looks something like this:

---[-------(7th letter is grey)[-----[-----(puntuation mark)---[---[-[----[----[------[---------[--[-----[----(3rd letter is grey)[----[-----[--[---------[--[-[-------[------[---[----[-----[-----[---[----[----[-----[--[----[--------[-------[---------[--[--[----(puntuation mark)

I tried to find the 10 letters I knew... but I was struggling. Then, suddenly, I remembered this:

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold

The poem... it had to be a clue! I looked at “The Second Coming” again, and my eyes were drawn to the last verses:

The darkness drops again; but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

38 words, a punctuation mark between the 4th and 5th words, another one at the end... As for the grey letters on the staff? They correspond to double letters in the poem (“darkneSS” and “slEEp”). Everything works perfectly!

The secret inscription on Atticus Noble’s Bone Staff is the final sentence of the 1919 poem “The Second Coming” by William Butler Yeats.

December 24, 2023, around 7 pm CEST; challenge completed!

And now that I had been introduced to the Old Imperium font, why not try to decode it too?

#rebel moon #rebel moon part one a child of fire #a child of fire #zack snyder #old imperium #old imperium font #atticus noble #kora #the second coming #william butler yeats #I made a mistake in my tweet noooo #I wrote ‘4th letter’ and it’s the third #ah never mind no one noticed #by the way people are still very nice

[two-stud-invasion]

Gnarpy i will follow up with a text of a so called "right wing activist" called "ben shapiro" from earth what do you think of it

"Hello, is this Pizza Hut?Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving."

. . 🛸 “ With my four eyez, I CAN’T READ A LONG PARAGRAPH YOU GLORP. ”

#regretevator #gnarpy #regretevator gnarpy #ask blog #rp blog #roblox #ask gnarpy

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

I don’t know about you, but I’m actually pretty excited for that “Rebel Moon” movie coming out on Netflix. Looks like the best Star Wars movie to come out in years.

I'm not, tbh. Zack Snyder has said and done some questionable things in the lead up to it that don't give me a lot of confidence in what kind of story he's going to be telling.

[comicweek]

"I never looked at it as the job, ‘Oh, I’m the architect of DC. I need to create entertainment for DC that sells toys and that is for the masses and fun for everyone. I didn’t care [about that]. I liked Batman, I liked Superman, I wanted to make something cool. You picked the wrong guy if you wanted a product." - Zack Snyder on his DC movies (Hollywood Reporter) "You have to game it. If you don’t, you end up with nothing. You end up really having to bury your soul, you just rip your heart out. Then you put it on the auction block. You put the movie out, it becomes a consumer product. You yourself become a consumer product. That’s the thing that I think can be really difficult for filmmakers. That’s the price of the transaction. That can be painful." - Zack Snyder on filmmaking (Wired)

#zack snyder #quotes #dceu #superman #batman #wonder woman #filmmaking

[sassylittlecanary]

Ranking the Major Live-Action Superman Suits Since 1978

Because I have a lot of thoughts.

8. Superman & Lois (Tyler Hoechlin)

I adore this show, and I think Hoechlin does a fantastic job as both Superman and Clark Kent. However, I HATE this suit. SO MUCH. It just looks like a regular dude in a Halloween costume, and it keeps getting worse and worse with each season. I hate the muscle highlighting (it looks cheap and forced), the neckline needs to be lower and more square, the boots could be taller, the S shield is too small and way too dark, and the colors are too dark and faded. I genuinely cannot understand who thought this suit was ready for filming in any way. It is absolutely hideous, and I will die on that hill.

7. Superman Returns (Brandon Routh)

I like that this suit stays so close to the source material, but it’s just … off. It would be completely fine if it weren’t for several little things that combine to make it underwhelming. Firstly, the colors are off: On screen, the blue looks almost turquoise, and the red often looks brownish (just a few shades lighter and brighter would’ve been a huge improvement). The S shield is too small, and I personally don’t like how raised it is. The thing I hate the most is the neckline — it needs to be lower and more square. Show some collarbone and shoulders, you cowards.

6. Zack Snyder’s Justice League (Henry Cavill)

I know a lot of people really like this suit and its symbolism, but I have mixed feelings about Cavill’s suits in general. Personally, I prefer bright colors, and the fact that Cavill never got bright colors at all made the black suit just another dark outfit (and therefore less special, which harmed the intended symbolism). I appreciate the comic reference, but if the filmmakers really wanted to go for it, they should’ve traded the cape for a mullet (mostly kidding).

5. Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (Dean Cain)

I don’t really have feelings about this one. It’s the classic Superman look, and there’s nothing really special about it, but I don’t mind that. It’s cheesy, but I don’t mind that either. The show doesn’t take itself too seriously, and neither does the suit.

4. DCEU (Henry Cavill)

I was VERY torn about how to rank this one. The love-hate relationship is strong. Cavill looks good in it, but I honestly don’t like it that much. Even at the best of times, the blue is WAY too dark (I mean, sometimes it’s more black than blue). I resent Zack Snyder’s aversion to color. I understand they wanted to modernize the suit and get rid of the trunks, but it needs something red to break up the blue. Unpopular opinion, but I also don’t like the way all of Cavill’s muscles are highlighted. However, this is my all-time favorite Superman cape. It’s floor length and billowing and amazing, and for that reason this suit is ranked this high.

3. Supergirl (Tyler Hoechlin)

Now, if you want to ditch the red trunks, this is the right way to do it. The red belt breaks up the blue similar to how the old trunks did, the colors are just right, the cape looks good (although the material isn’t my favorite), and the size and design of the S shield are perfect. If the trunks have to go, this is my favorite suit.

2. Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover (Brandon Routh)

This is perhaps the best modern Superman suit. It’s a lovely blend of tradition and modernity, and of course the Kingdom Come reference is awesome. Everything about it is perfect. I love it. It looks great on Routh, and the style and colors suit the character and context. I desperately want Routh to have his own Superman show and wear this in it.

1. Superman I-IV (Christopher Reeve)

What can I say? I’m a sucker for nostalgia. This one is definitely dated, but despite that, it remains quintessentially Superman. When I picture Superman, this is the suit I see. It’s iconic, it’s a near-perfect recreation of the comics, and Reeve wears it in a way that makes it real and authentic.

#superman #superman suits #superman & lois cw #superman & lois #supergirl #supergirl cw #arrowverse #crisis on infinite earths #kingdom come #DCEU #man of steel #batman v superman #bvs dawn of justice #zack snyder's justice league #lois & clark: the new adventures of superman #superman the movie #superman 1978 #superman returns #tyler hoechlin #brandon routh #henry cavill #dean cain #christopher reeve #clark kent #dc #dcu #dc comics

[rphunter]

Hello! I’m Addy & I am a 26 year old female from the USA and I am looking to write with people who are 21+ and older.

I usually write in semi-literate (2-3 paragraphs) literacy but I am always willing to match up with your responses. I love making friends OOC and I try to be as communicative about my schedule as possible.

I write via Discord as I prefer the server option. I can write as both male and female and enjoy doubling especially in canon/OC pairings. I would prefer my side to be mxf however I am happy to write anything for your side!

I am open to NSFW however I do not want it to be the entire plot - I do enjoy the story too. We can discuss our limits and I will respect yours (as I hope you will respect mine).

Bolded is my preferred role. Italicized and underlined is my preferred choice of fandom.

Batman vs Superman

Clark Kent x my OC

Canon x your OC

Justice League

This includes only Zack Snyder’s cut.

Bruce Wayne x my OC

Clark Kent x my OC

Canon x your OC

DC Comics

I am willing to do whatever since I know this can be rather broad. I will probably use a plot of some kind.

Clark Kent x my OC

Dick Grayson x my OC

Canon x your OC

Horror

Again, a rather broad fandom but willing to do mostly anything. It doesn’t have the be movies or shows, it can be original plots too.

Canon/OC x my OC

Canon x your OC

Star Wars

I have seen the movies (excluding Solo and Rogue One) and all of The Mandalorian.

OC x my OC

Poe Dameron x my OC

Canon/OC x your OC

Fandomless

I am open to some fandomless ideas depending however my main focus right now is fandom plots. If you are not familiar with any of these fandoms but would still like to write with me, please do not let this put you off!

If you are interested, please give this a like and I will reach out. 

.

#smplymyers #dc roleplay #dc rp #dceu roleplay #dceu rp #oc roleplay #oc rp #star wars roleplay #star wars rp

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #628

Top Ten Fox Marvel Movies – Part One!

Hey guys! I was totally stumped about what to write this week, and started planning – I’m not kidding – three or four different lists. I don’t remember the last time that happened.

One of the problems was that I’ve been really pressed for time – busy with work, busy in the evenings, also trying to prioritise writing my book – so didn’t really get started on this list until I didn’t have enough time to write it (which is one of the reasons it’s going up on a Saturday evening instead of the morning as usual). And a lot of the ideas I had that I really liked needed a bit more rumination and explanation – basically, more waffle – so I didn’t want to do them till I had time.

And then I had a brainwave! You see, I have rather foolishly decided to attempt (crucial word that: attempt) to rewatch all of the Fox Marvel movies ahead of the release of Deadpool and Wolverine this summer. Why? Well, because it appears from the images and trailer that this film is going to be rather metatextually discussing the demise of the Fox Marvel universe (or “universes”, plural, I suppose; there’s no indication that any of their franchises share one overall world). In the trailer, it looks like there’s a partially submerged 20th Century Fox logo in the ground, Ozymandias­-style; and we know that several characters from the Fox X-Men movies are going to show up (outside the regular Deadpool cast we’ve seen Wolverine and Pyro), and characters from the other Marvel properties Fox had the rights to are heavily rumoured to be putting in appearances (Elektra, for instance). So it’s going to be – I imagine – at least in part a two-fingered farewell to an entire era of filmmaking that stretches from the first X-Men movie in 2000 to, I guess, The New Mutants in 2020 (technically released by Disney after the Fox acquisition but produced prior), taking in detours featuring Daredevil, Elektra, and two different incarnations of the Fantastic Four.

Anyway! Like I said, I’m gonna rewatch them all. But wouldn’t it be interesting if I ranked them now, from memory, and then again, after I’ve seen them all? Will anything change? Will some of them have slipped down my mental chart, age withering them in the face of more nuanced and exciting interpretations of superhero stories? Or have some of them actually improved over time, their handling of storylines or characters actually seeming more entertaining or interesting than some of the dreck that’s slid down the cinema chute wearing a tattered cape and being directed by Zack Snyder?

(that felt mean, sorry)

So that’s what I’m going to do – my first intentional two-part Top Ten, I think. One now, one later – probably (hopefully) near D&W’s release; what I remember of the Fox Marvel movies, and then what I think upon a rewatch. Now, by my reckoning, this is a total of eighteen films, most of which I’ve seen before, and even disregarding those I’ve not seen, includes at least two that are utterly shite. But it does mean I get to see Deadpool call Cable “One-Eyed Willy” again.

See you in July!

Logan (2017): a languid, sepia-tinged meditation on mortality, failure, and legacy; it’s the superhero equivalent of Unforgiven, a melancholy Western starring a repentant man with a history of violence. As a swansong to one of the most iconic comic book roles of all time, it gives Jackman plenty to chew on, and in his relationships both with a deteriorating Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart on Awards-worthy form) and especially his equally-feral daughter Laura (Dafne Keen) it shows Logan’s heart and empathy underneath his violent exterior. Earns its R-rating. A masterpiece, and easily – easily – one of the greatest comic-book movies of all time.

X2 (2003): taking the pieces placed on the board in the first film, this one really ups the stakes and was the first time one of these “modern” superhero movies really felt like an epic comic-book arc. Morally complex and offering teasing revelations about central characters, it also has some truly incredible visuals, such as Nightcrawler’s opening attack on the White House.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014): uniting the two strands of Fox’s X-Movies, we have a post-apocalyptic future rendered in stunning fashion with shape-changing Sentinels hunting our beleaguered heroes, before Logan journeys into the past to change things. Features an incredible performance by Peter Dinklage, some tremendous action scenes (Quicksilver rescuing Magneto!) and an impressive ripped Hugh Jackman.

Deadpool (2016): no one was sure it would work, taking a cult comic character, giving him his own movie, and allowing him to be filthy, violent, and decidedly R-rated, throwing the middle-finger up at not just Fox’s comic-book universe but all superhero films and, well, all popular culture. But Ryan Reynolds’ perfect performance and some truly impressive action sequences turned it into the X-Men’s biggest hit.

Deadpool 2 (2018): just a gnat’s wing under its predecessor as it lacks the first films taut structure, meandering through a few plot dead-ends before tying it back together in a series of incredible sequences (the choir singing “oh holy shitballs” during the fight with Juggernaut is hilarious).

X-Men (2000): the first film does an incredible job of creating the whole X-Men universe, using both the world-weary Logan and the naïve Rogue as the audience’s eyes, introducing us all to the concept of mutants, the X-Men, the Brotherhood of Mutants, and the nuanced, dynamic rivalry between Xavier and Magneto. Jackman burns through the screen with the white-hot intensity of a supernova, eclipsing almost everyone else, although McKellen gets to chew scenery like he’s not eaten in a week.

X-Men: First Class (2011): after the initial X-Men films seemed burned out with the lacklustre (to say the least) The Last Stand and Origins (see below!), Matthew Vaughn gave the whole concept a period-centric shot in the arm. Younger, vibrant versions of our main characters popped up in the swinging sixties, with a flair that echoed the Bond movies that exist only in our heads, a plot that roped in contemporary geo-politics, and one of the greatest cameos in history. Along with a whole heap of continuity errors if you try to marry it with all the other films, which they decided to do anyway.

Fantastic Four (2005): oh look, not an X-Men film. This film is bright, colourful, and fun, a world away from the sombre stylings of Patrick Stewart and co. There’s a sunny optimism to it; it’s more redolent of family films of the era, with a largely young, attractive cast (including a pre-Cap Chris Evans as the Human Torch!). Lightweight, sure, but it’s not a bad time at the flicks.

Daredevil (2003): somewhat (okay, entirely) eclipsed by the Netflix series starring Charlie Cox, this was the first of Ben Affleck’s two ill-fated attempts to be a dark avenging superhero of the night. His Matt Murdock is quippy in the day and dressed in skintight leather at night, the fight scenes drenched in both rain and post-Matrix slow-mo. Does have a great kissing-in-the-rain sequence to sit alongside Spider-Man’s, though.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009): yeah, we’re really scraping the barrel now of the ones I’ve seen. This just edged out Dark Phoenix by a whisper, but is still mostly a disappointing mish-mash of different stories, making Logan a very reactive character as it skims full-speed through aspects of his origin and introduces us to tons of mutants who are then summarily killed. Still, it gave us Reynolds’ first outing as a pre-Deadpool Wade Wilson, and mutants played by Will I. Am and the Mancunian hobbit.

#top ten #films #movies #fox #20th century fox #marvel #mcu #x-men #logan #fantastic four #daredevil #disney #comics

[smplymyers]

Looking for a roleplay partner!

Hello! I’m Addy & I am a 26 year old female from the USA and I am looking to write with people who are 21+ and older.

I usually write in semi-literate (2-5 paragraphs) literacy but I am always willing to match up with your responses. I love making friends OOC and I try to be as communicative about my schedule as possible.

I write via Discord as I prefer the server option. I can write as both male and female and enjoy doubling especially in canon/OC pairings. I would prefer my side to be mxf however I am happy to write anything for your side!

I am open to NSFW however I do not want it to be the entire plot - I do enjoy the story too. We can discuss our limits and I will respect yours (as I hope you will respect mine).

Bolded is my preferred role. Italicized is my preferred choice of fandom.

Batman vs Superman

Clark Kent x my OC

Canon x your OC

Justice League

This includes only Zack Snyder’s cut.

Bruce Wayne x my OC

Clark Kent x my OC

Canon x your OC

DC Comics

I am willing to do whatever since I know this can be rather broad. I will probably use a plot of some kind.

Clark Kent x my OC

Dick Grayson x my OC

Canon x your OC

Horror

Again, a rather broad fandom but willing to do mostly anything. It doesn’t have the be movies or shows, it can be original plots too.

Canon/OC x my OC

Canon x your OC

Star Wars

I have seen the movies (excluding Solo and Rogue One) and all of The Mandalorian.

OC x my OC

Poe Dameron x my OC

Canon/OC x your OC

Fandomless

I am open to some fandomless ideas depending however my main focus right now is fandom plots. If you are not familiar with any of these fandoms but would still like to write with me, please do not let this put you off!

If you are interested, please give this a like and I will reach out. 

#dc comics #batman #dick grayson #dc universe #clark kent #superman #justice league #dceu #dceu fandom #dc extended universe #star wars #roleplay #roleplay finder

[ordinaryschmuck]

The Mess of the DCEU-Chapter One: Rough Beginnings

Salutations. I’m an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories, reviews, and all that other yada-yada.

*Sighs* You know, say what you want about the MCU, but it at least started with an innovative idea. They wanted to make an interconnected universe of movies and TV shows that brought Marvel’s characters to life and tell an ongoing story that would lead to all these characters working together to stop a great evil. It wasn’t good ALL the time, but MOST of the time, it was. It told great stories, had cool action scenes, and introduced general audiences to superheroes they never heard of before. It might be a shadow of its former self NOWADAYS, but within those first ten years, the MCU accomplished something other studios could only DREAM to do. Unfortunately, innovation often breeds IMITATION, with the MCU’s success leading to people thinking “Oh, in order to make bank, we need to make cinematic universes too!” This led to several attempts to make interconnected universes and franchises, with studios desperately trying to copy the MCU’s homework without understanding how it did everything right. And there was no mess that tried way too hard and failed even harder than the DC Extended Universe. DCEU, for short.

Where the MCU succeeded in its ten years, the DCEU fumbled and grasped at any straw they could because they wanted to make something not out of innovation but competition…Well, for the most part. You COULD argue there were creators that wanted to make something that will help the DCEU stand out from the MCU, telling stories with a different tone and style that made the universe more unique. But the STUDIO wanted the MCU killer, which led to constant interference with creators and their visions, dozens of reshoots and rewrites, and so many bad decisions that killed the DCEU as soon as it started. How? Well, let’s go over it through phases, starting with the rough beginnings of this mess of a universe. 

In this period, Warner Bros wanted the DCEU to be a BIG hit with general audiences so they can catch up with Disney/Marvel. The problem is that they weren’t patient enough to lay out the groundwork of a cinematic universe and allow a clear, concrete story to be SLOWLY told over time. It’s like they bought this LEGO set and wanted to make it look exactly as it did on the box, but decided to toss the instruction guide away and start building at random. The results, as you’d imagine, weren’t pretty. And, to  be fair, it wasn’t HORRIBLE right away…depending on who you ask.

Spoilers down below

Man of Steel

DC’s first movie in this cinematic catastrophe was divisive among fans, general audiences, and critics. Some LOVED it, stating that it’s the best Superman movie, to this day. Others say they hated it, saying it ruined Superman as a character and it should be TOSSED into the sun. And while I wouldn’t say it’s THAT bad, it’s not…AMAZING either.

It should be worth noting that I’m not a particular fan of Zack Snyder’s style. He has his fans (Who act more like a fucking CULT), but it’s clear that his style doesn’t reach out for everyone and it doesn’t for me. Not…ALL of the time, anyways. For one, I don’t like the colors he uses. The rusty oranges, the stormy blues, the DARK BLACKS. It all just makes his movies look ugly to me, with people justifying it by saying these colors set the tone for a dark, edgy universe. And I don’t care what justification there is, if I don’t want to look at your movie, you’ve already failed the visual medium.

Then there’s his glorification of death and violence. Like, yeah, the neanderthal in the back of my brain can’t help but think of how cool it looks when Superman is throwing Zod and his goons into buildings and making shockwaves as they trade blows, but I can’t help but think of the people in those buildings and how wrong it feels watching our HERO drag the villain’s face across a skyscraper that collapses. You can say that it’s realistic for a Superman starting out to cause this much destruction, but it doesn’t stop how weird it feels watching him actively cause more of it instead of trying harder to steer Zod AWAY from the city they’re destroying. Just keep throwing him into space! You did it once, just keep doing it!

And this leads me to my last, BIGGEST problem with Zack’s style: He’s motivated more by what looks COOL. Why does the camera constantly zoom into one shot? Because it looks cool. Why does Superman destroy a city he’s trying to save? Because it looks cool. Why does Krypton look like an amalgamation of other sci-fi stuff, including birds from Avatar, genesis pods from The Matrix, and probably some secret third thing? Because those movies looked cool and they would make HIS movie look cool. And yeah. It IS cool. But after a while, when you catch onto it and THINK on it, it makes you wonder if any of it is really necessary.

Now, to be fair to Zack, there ARE some good stuff. I think Jor-El is handled well as an anti-thesis for Zod. The action, while unnecessarily violent, DOES look awesome and I do like the detail that Superman leaves soundwaves when he hits something that can take as much as he gives. It helps show the POWER of this character, and I think Zack understands well just how powerful Superman is. As for how Superman’s portrayed, I think he’s…mostly good. I love that our introduction to Clark Kent is him saving lives. That’s the best possible way to introduce us to him, and Henry Cavil does well enough sometimes in portraying the character. He looks the part, his voice matches how I hear Superman’s when reading comics, and there’s the occasional twinkle in his eye when speaking…Occasional. Not all the time. 

This brings me to the main issue with this movie: This is not the best portrayal of Superman. Zack Snyder went about  making a more realistic version of the character. One that’s more messy, is less of a boy scout, and can’t find an easy solution because it’s how Superman would exist in real life. And I am sick to DEATH of superheroes movies that try to go the realistic route. SOMETIMES it works, and you get something amazing like the Daredevil TV Series or The Dark Knight. Heck, you could argue that the first Iron Man movie is realistic, having Tony slowly build a suit and testing out each function while negating the suit’s more comic accurate craziness. I mean, the thing doesn’t even have roller blades, for crying out loud…Yeah, that’s a thing. Look it up.

But while a realistic superhero story works for SOME characters, it shouldn’t work for ALL of them, with Superman being the one you want to steer clear from being realistic.The guy shaves his face with his own heat vision because normal razors can’t even cut his beard. That’s a character that works best at being the most fantastical as possible. But if you WANT to make the character more realistic, then fine. Do it. Just as long as the character’s spirit is intact. Because superheroes change a lot, going through different phases and personalities due to the current writer at the helm. The best changes are the ones that offer different perspectives to the character, breathing new life into them, while still keeping their spirit alive. For example, the MCU may have made changes to Tony Stark’s origins and made him famous as the hero who revealed his identity to the world in an INSTANT, but the spirit of the tortured, cocky genius is alive in every appearance. Making Superman act more direct, having him actively break stuff for justice, and wearing a suit that lacks all forms of color is just…not Superman. He’s this bright, happy guy who you can go up and strike up a conversation with. A beacon of hope that shows the best side of humanity even if he’s not exactly human. Yes, there are days when he’s angry and destructive, but that’s only when he’s pushed past his limits and has no other choice but to go against how Ma and Pa Kent raised him to be. To go against that in his FIRST appearance feels like Zack’s shooting his shot too soon. We don’t get that much of an insight into the joyful boy scout Superman has been for decades, so by starting out with him being…not that leaves the impression that this is just how this version of Superman acts. There was never a chance for this character to be hopeful, which would be tragic if that was intentional. But for all I know, Zack did it because he thought it’d be cooler.

For all it’s worth, Man of Steel isn’t the WORST Superman movie, but it fails to grasp just what makes Superman the greatest superhero ever conceived. Zack still made a cool looking action movie that was entertaining if you don’t think about how many people died when Superman saved the day. Anything other than that? Let’s just say I hope James Gunn understands the character better.

However, as bad as this movie got, it had an audience. People loved it and were willing to see more. So, in a way, it’s not the worst start to a franchise.

No…That would be the NEXT movie.

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

…We all have that one movie that makes us angry. A movie that we could all rip apart because of how much it does wrong and personally pisses us off. A movie that clearly wasn’t made for us in mind, but doesn’t change the fact that, no matter what people will say, we’ll NEVER like it. THIS? This is MY movie…

POSITIVES FIRST: I like Wonder Woman’s entrance. The badass guitar riff never fails to get me pumped up and it instantly sold me on this version of the character. I like Batman’s suit. The small pointy ears, the beefy bat symbol, and the bulkiness of it all makes for a suit that screams BATMAN. And I really like that warehouse fight. You know, if I pretend that Batman ISN’T killing people in that, it’s a pretty awesome fight scene that shows how badass Batman is…And that’s it. Yeah, I can count on ONE HAND the things that I like about this movie. As for the things I don’t like? Let’s just say I’m genuinely trying to hold myself back from ripping this film a new one for the sake of time.

Remember how I said that Henry Cavil showed moments of that glimmer in Superman’s eye and the nice guy that he is? Yeah, that’s completely erased in this one. This Superman is damn near detached from any sense of joy and optimism, where if he isn’t feeling anger, he’s as emotionless as a plank of wood. The man will stand in the middle of a room that was blown to hell, and his reaction looked like he farted in church. There’s no shock, fear, or even sadness over the lives that died around him. He’s just standing there with an expression of “Oh, that sucks.” And when he DOES feel  sad AFTER THE FACT, it feels like he’s holding back what he should be feeling. Superman, as a character, is one who wears his emotions on his sleeve, yet he can’t even cry in front of his girlfriend, his true love, the woman he shares everything with. Don’t just show me a Superman that’s all powerful and can’t be broken easily. Show me a Superman that’s HUMAN!

As for the rest of his cast of supporting characters, let’s just say that Zack Snyder doesn’t seem to care much about Superman’s mythos other than Superman being the most powerful being in DC’s universe. Jimmy Olson, Superman’s best pal that’s his confidant and as important to him as Robin is to Batman? He gets a bullet in his brain upon being introduced. Martha Kent, Clark’s mother who made him the man he is? She’s relegated to a plot device that’s used to make Clark feel better and bring peace to Batman and Superman (Oh, we’ll get to THAT later…). At least Lois Lane has some plot importance. Yeah, she gets a whole subplot where she discovers that–LE GASP–Lex Luthor is the bad guy! Good job, Lois! You did something the other two meatheads could have done if they weren’t too busy planning on how to kill each other! But at least it’s something semi-important. Goodness knows you couldn’t do anything else like give this information to Clark to help investigate instead of focussing on Batman or getting a fucking STICK out of some water! But, hey, at least you figured out Lex Luthor was the bad guy…just in time for him to throw you off the roof so Superman can save you and learn that information for himself. Not from you. Because YOU’VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHING! You are as useless as a semicolon! Any purpose you bring doesn’t mean shit when there are two more important things to use, you worthless–I’m getting mad…I’m getting mad…Let’s just move on…

Lex Luthor. He sucks too. It goes without saying that Jesse Eisenberg doesn’t really nail the cold, captivating, and easily threatening villain that is modern Lex Luthor. Even the campiness of early Golden Age Lex Luthor felt like more of a threat than this skinny little man-child who likes sticking Jolly Ranchers into the mouth of one government official and sending a jar full of piss to another. I have no idea how ANYONE could be threatened by this “villain,” who acts more pathetic than intimidating. As for his intelligence? Pfft. I used to think that his plans were stupidly complicated, now I realize that they’re complicatedly stupid. He wants to either frame Superman for murder or kill him. Except that when it comes to framing Superman, Lex Luthor leaves behind so much evidence that someone as pointless as Lois Lane could have picked up on it. As for killing him? He plans to bring out Doomsday, a creature too powerful and stupid to control that even IF it killed Superman…what happens next? What could stop this monster from going on a rampage and causing more destruction than Superman ever could? And the crazy part is that Doomsday is Plan B! Plan A was having Superman and Batman fight, something that Lex considers a win-win situation. Because if Superman wins, he’s framed as murdering a man in cold blood. And if Batman wins, then Superman is dead. It SOUNDS smart…until you realize that Batman is a crazed vigilante who branded criminals so they could die in jail. There should have been NO CHANCE for Batman to successfully kill Superman. Even if he had Kryptonite handy, there was no guarantee that Batman would win. And if and when Superman won, he would have killed a crazed maniac that some people would have been happy to see gotten rid of. I mean, if they already hate Superman killing innocent people, why would they hate him for killing someone insane? To quote a hero from the RIVAL COMPANY, Lex, “Not a great plan.”

And SPEAKING OF Batman…Zack Snyder screwed up. This isn’t the great detective who values life because of the ones he lost, to the point he would NEVER kill the Joker, not even on a bad day. No, no, no, this is a meathead who would sooner punch first, think later, and kill anybody who gets in his way. “But those people aren’t innocent–” Doesn’t matter! Okay?! It doesn’t matter what screwed up shit these people have done, Batman’s not the one to pull the trigger. He’s not even one to use a GUN! Guns killed his parents and it is a weapon he is so venomously against, large in part that he doesn’t trust himself to use one nonlethally! To have a Batman that kills goes against the core of the character. So why does Zack have Batman kill people in his movie? Because it looks cool. Wasn’t it cool seeing Batman blow up that car? Wasn’t it cool seeing Batman whip another car like a yo-yo? Wasn’t it cool to see Batman ready to stab Superman with a fucking STICK?! And yes, this is meant to be a Batman that was pushed to his limits due to a long life of fighting crime and the lives lost from it. The tribute to a dead Robin hints at that. But if you START OUT with that Batman, without showing us what he was like BEFORE reaching this point, it tells me that he was ALWAYS like this because there’s barely any evidence to the contrary. And the thing is that I would have actually liked this Batman more if we actually DID spend time getting to know him and seeing what broke him, but we don’t. Why? Because we needed to rush out a cinematic universe and start out with two of DC’s iconic superheroes fighting each other.

This movie came out around the same time as Captain America: Civil War. And to this day, I will forever say that movie did the superhero vs superhero movie better. Say what you want about its quality, but we at least got to KNOW Captain America and Iron Man. We got to KNOW why they’d pick one side and the other, with Iron Man motivated by guilt and Captain America motivated by a selfish desire to save the last connection to his past. And when they fight, it’s heartbreaking because it’s watching two characters you love going against each other. I feel none of that with this Batman and Superman. I barely know either of them, and their reasons for hating each other are vague and hypocritical. They’re not men with opposing viewpoints and morals. They’re both brooding, violent idiots who kill people, and hate the other for being the exact same person.

Plus, most of this movie isn’t focussed on that final showdown! Too much of it is setting up the Justice League and Darksied and all this other stuff that would have worked better if the studio took time to introduce these story threads! Civil War may have introduced Black Panther and Spider-Man into the MCU, but Black Panther went on such a powerful emotional journey that made his character a worthy addition to the story, Spider-Man has a long enough presence to feel like a character even if he’s an over glorified cameo, AND neither of them distract too much from the main conflict. The story is still about Iron Man and Captain America going against each other, showing so many scenes of them at each other’s throats before that final battle. Batman and Superman share ONE scene together, and it’s all we get before their big fight.

And when they DO fight each other, I can’t even appreciate how cool it is because of all these distracting questions in my mind. Like, why doesn’t Superman just hold Batman down and explain the situation? He clearly wants to try and convince him to help Martha and can easily hold him down. There’s even this moment when Superman holds up Batman and has the perfect opportunity to tell him what’s going on…but instead throws him through a building because it looks cool. And if Batman has this kryptonite, why did he waste it on stinkbombs and a FUCKING STICK when he could have used it to make bullets into the turret? There’s this argument that because the Waynes started out as hunters, Batman makes a hunting weapon to better prove himself. Fair argument, but you would think a hunter would have laid out better traps than sonic canons and bullets that do NOTHING!

But oh…we’re not at the worst part yet. All that other stuff…is frustrating, but it’s nowhere near as bad as what happens next. The worst part of this movie is something that’s been made fun of by everyone and their grandma. And that is the fact that the whole reason Batman stops wanting to kill Superman…is that their moms have the same names.

“IT’S NOT–” SHUT UP…Shut up…YES, it is. That IS the exact reason why he stops. People have argued that it’s because this finally proves to Batman that there’s humanity in Superman. It’s proof that he HAS a mom that he cares deeply for, just like Batman does…Except that doesn’t mean shit. Batman already assumed Superman had a mom–EVERYONE had a mom, literally speaking. YOU would not exist if not for some woman giving birth to you. And Batman knows this. He even says that Superman’s parents must have told him that he was meant for great things while swinging him around like a yo-yo! He KNOWS Superman has a mom…It’s just the fact that Superman’s mom is named MARTHA, reminding Batman of HIS mother who died that causes him to stop. The man who says that if there’s even a small percent chance that Superman’s his enemy, he has the moral responsibility to PUT HIM DOWN, gives up the second Superman says “Martha.” A name that 1 out of 4,575 girls, to this day, has. So, guess what, Snyder fans. The reason why Batman doesn’t kill Superman really is because their moms have the same name…GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ugh…This movie sucks. IT SUCKS! I’m sorry, it does! It’s not the WORST movie ever made–Fucking Freddy Got Fingered exists. THIS is not the worst movie in existence. But so  much of it makes me so angry due to plotholes, disservice to the characters and their mythos, and so much of it oozes with self-importance that it makes me sick. And just me ignoring the little things that tick me off (Why does Jonathon Kent have a different accent from the first movie). It’s a mess of a film that frustrates me to no end, and I really don’t want to see it again. You can’t make me.

But, regardless of how I felt, this movie made BANK. How? Well, either because superhero movies were REALLY big at the time this one came out, some wanted to see if it was as bad as their friend said it was, others wanted to see a bad movie to make fun of it, or were part of the select few who actually liked the movie. Regardless, it WAS a financial hit, so it still sort of justified that the DCEU needed to exist. And they already shoved in that weird Knightmare stuff and introduced the Justice League into a film that already had too much going on, so there was no backing down now. DC was desperate to catch up to Marvel, and they hoped that a movie containing DC’s two biggest characters to help advertise their big, cinematic universe would help. Unfortunately, critics' responses left DC a little scared, and they needed both critics AND general audiences to like their films to keep their money consistent. After all, audiences can eventually get bored rooting for a universe that’s too dark and grim. So, they needed to make some changes…But instead of improving on their mistakes made to set them apart from Marvel…

Suicide Squad

They tried to make a “Soulful Drama” funny so it could be like Guardians of the Galaxy. “Because people loved Guardians of the Galaxy! The talking tree and raccoon were funny! Surely making our movie funny would work too, right?” And trust me when I say that the end result was NOT worth it.

The crazy thing is that I can see BITS AND PIECES of what David Ayer intended. There are moments that seem like they could have worked and were ALMOST good if this movie held onto the same vision that Ayer wanted. There was this nice moment in the staircase between Deadshot and Harley Quinn that makes you think it’s meant to go SOMEWHERE or the backstory with Diablo that makes me think, “Man. If this movie took itself seriously, it might have been good.” Unfortunately, the studio didn’t want a serious movie. They tried that twice, and because Zack Snyder ruined the second try, it led to DC thinking they needed to be funny and exciting, just like Marvel. The end result is taking David Ayer’s movie and trying to make it mimic James Gunn’s style.

Did you know James Gunn likes to use licensed songs in his superhero blockbusters? Because he does. Except when he does it, it’s done with the intent of already having a song in mind and writing the scene around it. He doesn’t just pick a song from an iPod shuffle and insert it into the scene for no reason. Because that’s what I feel like the executives did here. They’re just a bunch of out of touch losers who still had an iPod shuffle in 2016 for some reason, picked random songs, and thought, “Yeah, that makes this scene cool.” It’s the only excuse I can think of for why the movie plays “Fortunate Son,” a song about Vietnam, to introduce Killer Croc. Yeah, the song SOUNDS cool, but it doesn’t match. And that’s the worst case. The best case is that you get “Super Freak” playing for Harley Quinn’s second introduction, taking a song that works surface level but isn’t strong enough to make it feel necessary to the scene. If anything, it makes it feel like a joke.

Speaking of, James Gunn LOVES making jokes in his movies. Part of what made Guardians of the Galaxy a hit was how hilarious it was with general audiences. Except he has a very specific sense of humor that works best through his vision and style of direction. Just look at the scene where Peter is trying to rally the Guardians to work together before fighting Ronan. It starts off with a ton of jokes, jokes that shouldn’t be funny but work because of the actors’ deliveries and the comedic timing of when they should say or do certain things. In Suicide Squad, all the jokes feel like they were jammed in with actors struggling to make them work because David Ayer wasn’t sure how to make them funny either. That’s because he wanted to make this a DRAMA, so when forcing jokes, there’s this fight to make it work without hurting the dramatic aspect of the film. Except that they do, every time. Going back to that scene with the Guardians, James Gunn at least knew to slow down when Peter Quill was getting exasperated and allowed a serious moment to build up as each Guardian decides they’re willing to fight…and ending on a joke about Rocket saying they’re all jackasses standing in a circle. It doesn’t sound balanced, but seeing it in action gives this sense that Gunn wanted to make a scene equal parts funny and dramatic, something that remains consistent throughout the whole film. David wanted a stronger lean towards drama, so when forcing in comedy it makes a lot of scenes feel awkward. Honestly, the only time I laughed was when Captain Boomerang cut and ran the second he was told he was free. That’s because he’s clearly meant to be the comedy relief character out of all of them and his action is consistent with his personality.

Then there’s the way this movie is cut. Scenes will just end shortly, randomly jump to characters doing something or NOTHING, and move on making the whole story feel incoherent. There’s this line about how something happened THREE DAYS AGO, but as I was watching the movie it all felt like everything was happening on the same day. And with how cut down this movie is, a lot of the characters don’t feel like real characters. The worst offender of this is Katana, who has this interesting backstory and could have worked well as the straight man to the insane criminals, but falls short because she barely has presence in the movie and her backstory is brought up in the last thirty minutes…and they do NOTHING with it, making you wonder why she was here. I’m sure David Ayer had SOME idea with her, but the studio’s interference caused Katana and others to fall to the wayside and cause the film to be a mess. And that’s just the stuff that’s the studio’s fault.

There’s other stuff that bothers me about this movie, and it’s hard to tell if David Ayer’s the problem or the studio. But some things feel like they were problems from the beginning, such as the premise. The whole reason behind this Suicide Squad is that the government wanted a team to take down the next evil Superman…So they got in people like Slipknot, a guy who’s special skill is climbing things really well. I’m sorry, I can NOT take this idea behind this team seriously, because nothing about it makes sense. What’s Slipknot going to do against evil Superman? Better question, what’s Harley Quinn and Captain Boomerang, the people who quickly lost to both Batman and The Flash, going to do against evil Superman? If the idea was that they were to fight “threats” to US territory and take care of things in a lethal manner because they’re SUPERVILLAINS and the government can always wipe their hands clean of them, it would have worked better. Having them fight The Enchantress, a cosmic witch who can turn people into silly putty with one kiss? It feels like too much for people whose main gimmicks are guns, boomerangs, and bat. A fucking BAT!

While we’re on the topic of Enchantress, she might be the most boring villain in the DCEU. Probably the most boring villain in any superhero movie. Her goal is world domination…like every other supervillain. Except that there’s no unique personality or interesting motivation behind it. Just…weird belly dancing and kissing soldiers into submission. But you know what? I’ll take her over Jared Leto’s Joker. You could not have a WORSE version of the character. His acting is awkward, his charisma is nonexistent, and his laugh–HIS FUCKING LAUGH! The Joker’s laugh is the most important thing to get right no matter what version of the character. It needs to feel haunting and maniac. Here, he sounds like one of those cow in a tin things having a stroke. The Enchantress is too OP and boring to be a Suicide Squad villain, but at least she’s serviceable compared to Leto’s Joker. And don’t even get me STARTED on what that fucker did behind the scenes to “get into the mind of a mad man!” Fuck Jared Leto and any other superhero movie he’s in! I don’t care if he’s better in the Ayer Cut, nothing justified the gross shit he did to the cast and crew!

Suicide Squad is an incredibly flawed film that I would HOPE is better in Ayer’s original version, but I have no way of proving that because it doesn’t exist. It’s a sad thing too, because there ARE parts of this film that could have been improved with time. The characters could have been stronger, the story could have been coherent, and the tone would have been consistent. The premise is weird and the villains are weak, but you don't know what kind of improvements can be made to a film if it meets the director’s expectations. It’s all unfortunately hypotheticals for now, but it doesn’t change how Suicide Squad is the third film in a row within the DCEU’s lineup that fails to genuinely be good. It got fans hoping, PRAYING that DC could finally have a good movie again. A movie that proves what makes these characters and their universe interesting while distinct from Marvel’s.

And in 2017, they…ALMOST got it.

Wonder Woman

According to general audiences, Wonder Woman was truly the first GOOD DCEU movie. It was inspirational, powerful, hopeful, and showed what makes DC and its characters amazing…and I fucking fall asleep almost everytime I watch it…*HITS DESK*

Although, what I just described is how people felt in 2017. I have NO idea what the reception towards this movie is like now in 2024 due to Gal Gadot’s current political beliefs. But to be fair to the film, no one could have expected that in 2017. This isn’t an Ezra Miller situation where they still released a movie despite it starring a literal maniac. So, let’s give the film the benefit of the doubt and judge it without the current political climate of the present day. And in that regard…I think this movie is boring…but not in the way you think.

I have this belief that a movie could be so good that it is dull. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, the story and characters are all fine and serviceable, to the point where you can absolutely see how someone could like it. The issue is that it doesn't offer an energy that grabs you. I feel this way with a handful of movies that, yeah, have nothing truly wrong with them, but don’t keep my interest as well as other films. And it’s the same with Wonder Woman. For the most part, I do say it’s a nearly perfect film that’s exactly as people described it…For the most part. We’ll get to that.

Positives first, the characters are all well-done. Professor Poison and that German General aren’t the best supervillains in media, but they offer some campy fun that makes them work. The group of men that teams up with Diana and Trevor are a tad bit underdeveloped, but have great chemistry and identifiable personalities that makes them a joy to watch. Then there’s my personal favorite, Steve Trevor, who acts as a great straight man to the wackiness around Diana, trying his best to be understanding and patient but constantly getting frustrated in a way that’s alway funny. And finally you’ve got Diana, whose fish out of water nonsense hits that right spot where it’s charming without overstaying its welcome, making you appreciate the naivety of a character who’s seeing the world for the first time and is filled with WONDER (Haha). As for her moments with Steve Trevor, I like it. Things get a little rom-commy at times, but it’s the right amount of cheese that makes these two adorable together. I genuinely love seeing their love.

But by far, the best thing about this movie is the No Man’s Land scene. This is the scene most people talk about when bringing up how great this movie is, and for good reason. Diana is seeing death and destruction everywhere she turns, with people telling her there’s nothing she can do and that she can’t save anyone. Only for Diana to go, “No,” and goes out to save everyone. This scene is everything that makes superheroes amazing. When a situation feels hopeless and there’s nothing a normal human can do, a hero is there to rise and be a beacon of hope to those who felt hopeless. It’s everything we as people wish we could be, to make a stand and save lives that need help the most. The No Man’s Land scene captures all of it, being inspirational, beautiful, and one of my favorite superhero scenes from any movie, not just DC…It’s also a bit muddled by Gal Gadot’s current political beliefs, but again, 2017. No one could have expected that.

One thing that people should have expected, though, is what REALLY ruined the movie: It’s ending. You see, the movie tricks you. It makes you think it’s building up to this message about how there’s no one bad person to beat to fix everything. There’s no divine intervention that leads humans to who they are, they’re just…like that, and to stop them means doing more than killing the big bad guy. It takes years of dedication and working hard to make the change you believe is right…Only for the movie to go, “Nope. There’s the REAL bad guy. Kill him and everything’s fine.” AND THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS! Ares shows up, going on and on, spouting nonsense like, “I don’t make people evil…I just give them the things they need to do bad things and further kill people. It’s HUMANITY that’s the death of everything, not ME!” Except that when Wonder Woman kills him, everything is fine. The war ends and people stop killing each other…But then what happened in WWII? And the Vietnam War? And every single war that happened after WWI?! The film tries to give this message across that love is the true end to all wars with Diana staying in Man’s world to help end corruption. But if that were true, then I would like to point out that Diana didn’t really beat Ares with a hug, she killed him with a fucking lightning bolt through the CHEST! And again, EVERYTHING WENT FINE! You could make the argument that things still took time to end peacefully, but the movie doesn’t present it as such. Diana’s friends and German soldiers were hugging one another after Ares died, as if it really was his influence that drove them to want to kill each other. Almost as if the real problem was Ares all along and every war humanity experienced afterwards…must not have happened in this universe, I guess–It’s stupid.

Everything up to those last forty minutes is great. I can see why people would love this movie, even if it’s something that doesn’t reach me specifically. It’s not bad, it’s perfectly serviceable. But the second Ares shows up, it all goes to hell in a SPECTACULAR fashion, taking what could have been a solid A movie and making it a B-. Now, as for whether or not I’d recommend watching it despite Gal Gadot’s current opinions…let me put it this way: Mark Hammil is in the exact same boat as her, and if you were to tell Star Wars fans to stop watching the original trilogy because of it, you’d have better luck telling the moon to stop rotating. There are a ton of movies, shows, and even books that are made by or feature bad people with pisspoor political standings that leaves an icky feeling in one’s tummy when they consume their favorite media. If you want me to tell you that you're the best person in the world for avoiding that media or a piece of shit for still consuming it…I’m not doing either. My advice is do whatever YOU think is the right thing to do.

But that’s enough controversy. We’re almost done with this fucking thing, so let’s keep going with the movie that ruined the DCEU. A movie that, after its release, things would never be the same for this cinematic universe.

Justice League

And I don’t mean Zack Snyder’s version of the movie. No, no, no. That’s the GOOD version.

*Gasps in Snyder Cult*

Yeah, yeah, I know. I clowned on his other two DC movies, but the truth is that I not only find his version of Justice League to be superior, it’s genuinely of the best superhero movies out there. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an hour too long, everything’s too dark to barely make out the characters in dark and gray costumes, and Stephenwolf still sucks…but there’s this sort of epicness to it. It’s one of the few movies where Zack Snyder’s style and interpretation of these characters work, making a movie where even if the good guys lose at first they still win through hope and perseverance. It shows what makes DC characters work, where despite the darkness in their lives and the darkness in their future, they’ll always be there to save the world and all the little people in it. If THIS was the movie DC put out, then I genuinely believe it would have been enough to save the DCEU…But it isn’t. Because due to a tragic event in Zack’s life that I couldn’t begin to comprehend, he stepped away from the movie and put DC in a position: They could have shelved the project and allowed Zack to return after he processed his grief…or they could have done what they did and got in a different director to finish the movie.

And did they get someone similar to Zack’s style? Someone Zack trusted to finish the movie he wanted to make? Nope…Because DC and WB wanted to be like Marvel, so they got in the guy who made the MCU big.

This? This right here? This is the face that killed the DCEU.

Yes, Joss Whedon made the box office SMASH that is The Avengers. But the reason why THAT movie works goes beyond the man who directed it. HIs style and vision for what makes superheroes cool works for the MCU because it mixes well with the tone set in Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger. Those were movies that had their serious moments and epic action, but still featured jokes and quips that made them fun movies to go out and see. By the time we got to The Avengers, it was all that but brought to a grander scale and having the joy of seeing all these characters you got to know join up and save the world as a team. It worked because it fits with the rest of the MCU. Joss Whedon’s Justice League, on the other hand, fails because his style INSANELY clashes with Snyder’s. Snyder has this sort of poetic self-importance to each project he makes. It’s what we got in Man of Steel and Batman V Superman and…yeah, those movies sucked, especially the latter, but Snyder at least had a strong sense of faith in his projects and saw the grandness of these characters, even if it was in a way that I particularly didn’t like. Whedon saw superheroes as silly and made jokes. He’s not entirely WRONG, there is this goofiness to every superhero, all in their costume, powers, and names. Just think of your favorite superhero for more than ten seconds, and you’ll see all the ways that they’re silly. But while that works for The Avengers, it fails here because it goes against everything Snyder set up with this world and its characters. To go from having these big, super serious films to this goofy two-hour long popcorn flick feels like a step backwards. These are the biggest heroes in DC’s library, coming together to stop the generic evil bad guy. And instead of feeling like this epic grand adventure, it’s a mediocre film that almost put me to sleep due to a cast of characters with dull personalities and bad jokes about brunch.

That last bit is another problem with Whedon’s version of this movie: He adds too many jokes. Now, I’m not against superhero movies having jokes and quips in them. Far from it, in fact. Comedy and quips have been a part of superhero bread and butter since the very first Superman comic. Lose that, and you lose the charm of superheroes. The issue is that Whedon seems to forget the most important rule when telling a story: Everything depends on the characters. Whether it’s a fight scene, an emotional moment, or a JOKE, you need to keep in mind the character who says and does everything you write. For example, when Batman’s asked what his power was and he goes, “I’m rich,” that’s perfect. It’s quick, it’s dry, it’s BATMAN. Him going, “Yup, something is definitely bleeding” after Superman threw him like a sack of potatoes doesn’t work. It’s slow, it’s awkward, and it undercuts this big tense scene about Superman losing his sense of self after being brought back to life. And keep in mind that this isn’t just an issue with this movie. It’s an issue that Joss has with all of his superhero movies, both Avengers and Avengers: Age of Ultron. Just look at how Joss Whedon directs Captain America and how the Russo Brothers direct the character. Under Whedon’s direction, Cap noticeably makes a lot more jokes, acting as a sort of sassy grandpa to the team.  With the Russos, Captain America feels more like a straight man, making jokes on occasion but has more of a dignity to his personality. All sense of dignity is lost under Whedon’s direction and you feel that in Justice League. None of the actors feel like they’re having fun in this movie. For example, Ben Affleck. The poor man looks like he’s dying inside with every quip he’s forced to spit out or for every interview he had to do for the film. You can tell he was waiting for it all to be over so he could finally wash his hands from the whole thing. And then you hear stories about how Joss Whedon threatened to end Gal Gadot’s career because she didn’t want Ezra Miller’s face on her boobs for the sake of a joke. Regardless of how you feel about that actress, that’s a pretty scummy move and it was all for a lame gag that makes the audience feel more uncomfortable than entertained. But that’s just the stuff that Joss added. It’s the stuff he takes away that really kills the film.

Zack’s original vision for the film was for it to be four hours long and, to be honest, you can cut it down to at least three. After three bad films in a row plus one decent intermission, I don’t think general audiences would be willing to see a four hour long DC movie. Still, by cutting things down to be HALF of what Zack planned, Whedon takes away too much. Four hours was too long, but it allowed every character to breathe and come out onto their own. Take Cyborg as an example. In Whedon’s cut, Cyborg feels like a non-character whose personality is non-existent as he goes through no arc. But in Snyder’s cut? Victor is the heart of the film, going through a powerful journey of accepting his new self and the father who loved him. Even Victor’s father is a fully fleshed out character with an emotional end to his arc. That’s all cut out of Whedon’s version, and it’s a little suspicious that he felt as though the story arcs and personalities of the BLACK characters were deemed as unimportant. And the same treatment happens to Superman, DC’s greatest superhero, who’s inclusion to the story feels so unimportant that you could almost cut him out of the film entirely. SUPERMAN is POINTLESS in a JUSTICE LEAGUE movie. Read that out loud and tell me that it doesn’t feel right. You can’t. But in the Snyder Cut? We spend a lot more time with him learning to be alive again and coming to grips as a Superman reborn. You can remove him from Whedon’s cut, but you’ll be missing too much in Snyder’s.

As for the stuff that Whedon kept in, not only can you see that in the Snyder Cut, but every GOOD moment in this movie is BETTER in Snyder’s. Action scenes aren’t cut to pieces, intense dialogues aren’t put on fast forward, and dramatic moments aren’t ruined by dumb jokes. Honestly, I can count TWO improvements that this movie has compared to Snyder. For one, I actually like that the color grading is turned up. I don’t give a fuck how serious your story is, if Invincible can tell one of the darkest origin stories I’ve ever seen all for a character in bright PINK…you can make Superman’s suit more blue and Flash’s suit more red. Tone is not a good enough justification to make a film look ugly. Another improvement…is a single scene. A post credit scene that you could miss if you leave the movie the second the credits come on. And that scene is Flash and Superman having their race. It’s the one thing that Whedon’s style does best, and that’s making superheroes entertaining even when doing something dull. Just look at the hammer scene in Avengers: Age of Ultron. It’s fun watching characters you love have a friendly competition and joke around with each other. To the point where people would watch entire movies of just that if they could. But one good scene that happens when the movie’s over is NOT enough to save this mess.

Joss Whedon’s Justice League is what finally killed the DCEU. Oh, they still made more movies after this, but the franchise would NEVER recover from the damage that this movie did to its reputation. In trying to compete with Marvel, DC put out what feels like a C-Tier MCU movie in the same year general audiences got a Guardians of the Galaxy sequel, Spider-Man in the MCU, and Thor finally having a FUN movie. Why would people waste time with a franchise offering C-Tier superhero schlock when they can save their money for stuff they actually love.

As for me? I have this rule when it comes to watching TV (This is related, trust me). I call it the “Five Episode Rule.” A TV show has five episodes to win me over, five chances to tell me that the rest of the series is worth watching. If it fails, then I drop the show unless someone I trust tells me it’s worth sticking out or I hear good things about it online. Now, let’s picture the DCEU as a TV show and each movie an episode. If that were the case, we’d get a mediocre beginning, an infuriating second entry, an incoherent third, a decent fourth with a bad ending, and a dull finale. If we follow my rule, then it goes without saying that the DCEU definitely didn’t win me over. It didn’t win ANYONE over. The DCEU became a bigger punching bag on the internet than Marvel currently is. It took the MCU ten years before it began to lose general audience appeal, but with the DCEU? It failed almost immediately, leaving DC and Warner Bros with this dying franchise. General audiences lost faith in it, Zack Snyder didn’t want to return due to how the studio treated his vision, and even the actors for Batman AND Superman refused to work for DC for the longest time. By the time Justice League came out, the DCEU was at rock bottom. The question is, could they climb their way back out?

Well…They ALMOST did. And we’ll get to that next time as we see what happens when a dead franchise decides to do whatever the hell they want.

#dceu #dc extended universe #superman #batman #wonder woman #the suicide squad #justice league #the flash #cyborg #victor stone #barry allen #diana prince #clark kent #bruce wayne #lex luthor #rant #what i thought about #the mess of the dceu #long post