#I’m feeling down rn so sorry if this comes off as depressing; I’m just tired of stuff; ya know

[saeyoungs-angel]

Hey lovely, if you don’t have too many asks id like to request shota or denki with a partner that struggles with depression, mainly with taking care of them selves in this. like hygiene, getting out of bed or doing anything really. denki or shota help them do little things that. i think you know what i mean so just write it how ever you want or don’t, if you are uncomfortable with this.

⨳​ punctilious — mha

starring. aizawa & you

plot. you may think you’re slick, but your boyfriend pays attention to everything. this includes the lack of care that you’ve shown yourself, recently.

genre. comfort, fluff

cw. mentions of depressive episodes and depressive behaviors

notes. god i am so sorry it took me so long to get to this, my writers block is so fuckin bad rn but i managed to finish it! i hope u see this since i cant tag u and idk if ur following me but if u do then i hope u enjoy it:)

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated! <3

𓆩☆𓆪

“(y/n), this is the fourth day in a row that you’ve slept in so late.”

you grumble in your half-asleep state, swiftly snatching the blanket he had so rudely stolen from over you. you tuck it back underneath your weary arms and roll away from aizawa.

huffing, you reply in a slurry manner. “tired, shota. didn’t get enough sleep.”

he hums, tilting above you to reach your furrowed eyebrows—he softly thumbs the crease forming in between them.

“stop that, you’ll look old.” he chides, feeling a bit hopeless with your attitude. he knows very well that your sleeping pattern has been through the ringer this past week, and he also knows he can’t force you to fix it.

that said, he still stubbornly wants to try.

“hey, sweetheart. if you get up now, we’ll go to a cat cafe. how’s that sound?”

your eyes fly open, only to dim moments after.

“not feelin’ it today, sorry sho.”

now, aizawa isn’t surprised by much, but this? this has him reeling on the inside. you never turn down an invite to a cafe, let alone one filled with cats.

something is amiss, definitely. though he’d like to speak with you about it directly, he’s worried that you’ll close yourself off even more—it’s not like you never confide in him, but you’re obviously keeping something from him.

he decides to let you rest, offering him enough time to consider his options.

when the sun begins to set, aizawa grows concerned. why are you sleeping so late now? with only solicitous thoughts of you clouding his mind, he shuffles quickly towards your shared bedroom.

creaking the door open, he finds the lights still untouched. “sweetheart?”

his eyes adjust, tracing the outline of your face that’s illuminated by your phone light—which isn’t very bright, probably because you’ve been in the dark all day long.

“hm? oh, sorry. i got stuck on social media.” you end your excuse with a light laugh, not even inching to shut of the device while your eyes lay on him.

he shakes his head and dismisses your words, moving to seat himself on the edge of the bed closest to you. he grasps your hand in his, smiling at you in concern.

“you haven’t been out of the room today, you know? it’s eight o’clock already.”

his voice brings silence with it, you averting your eyes as you can sense what’s ahead of you. scrolling on your phone, you distract yourself unsuccessfully.

“is there something you want to tell me?”

your scrolling pauses for a brief moment, just before you regain yourself and continue. your heart is by your feet and you have no idea where you should take the conversation now.

“i’m—i, uh. fuck, sho. i’m having trouble, alright? that’s all, and i’ll be okay in time. don’t worry about me, please.”

the last sentence drops from your lips and aizawa worries more than ever—those words always come from someone that needs to be worried about.

“quit it. i’m here to help you, not scold you or something. i’m your boyfriend, (y/n), not your mother. i can’t do anything if you refuse my help, but i’m asking you to let me help you.”

your scrolling doesn’t pause this time, it ceases completely. you shut off your phone, the room dimming before you reach for the lamp and switch it on. your vision is a bit blurry and you’re trembling ever-so-slightly, but you respond.

“okay.” with a shaky voice, you nod your head in extra confirmation.

aizawa’s lips turn upwards just lightly, “then it’s a deal. just one more thing, though. i need you to work with me, you have to try, alright? i’ll be here with you for every step, but i need you here as well.”

that’s how it started, you and aizawa both working to turn your episode upside down. two is better than one, right?

“hey, time to get up. i gave you an extra hour, so i expect a kiss after you shower and brush your teeth.”

you sneer, hating the fact that he knows you would’ve preferred to stay in bed and skip those things.

“why not now?” your tone is playful, yet he answers you honestly.

“because it’ll also be a reward for you, sweetheart. now get up, we’re going for coffee.”

the moment the toothpaste reaches your mouth, you gag lightly. after some time without tasting it, the feeling it leaves on your tongue is unfamiliar—aizawa is immediately by your side, brushing his teeth with you.

staring at him through the wide mirror, you smile to yourself. having someone next to you doing the exact same thing effortlessly may not be super comforting, but as he smiles back towards you the world seems just a bit brighter.

he snags your attention through the reflective surface, pointing from you to himself. your eyes leer on him as he counts on his fingers to a certain number, then switches his toothbrush to the other side. he wants you to repeat it, that much you can tell.

as you follow his actions, you turn it into a tiny game for yourself. thirty seconds, done. thirty seconds, done. thirty seconds, done. thirty seconds, aaand completely done.

“that wasn’t so hard, right angel?” he smiles down at you as you flip him off sarcastically.

“actually, it’s easier than i remember it. that might be because you’re here, though.”

critical hit, 98 damage dealt to shota aizawa!

𓆩☆𓆪

feedback is extremely meaningful!

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha x you #mha x y/n #mha x you #mha fluff #mha imagine #bnha fluff #bnha aizawa #aizawa fluff #my hero academia aizawa #aizawa x reader #shota aizawa #aizawa comfort #mha comfort #bnha comfort #aizawa x you #aizawa x y/n #shota x reader #shota comfort #saeyoungs-angel

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

hii! im kinda having a hard time rn so i wanted to request a marilyn x fem reader. they are gfs and both work at nevermore. the reader is having a hard time with some stuff and marilyn starts to notice over a couple of days (at the house and at the school). marilyn sits the reader down and tries to talk with them but the reader just says they’re “fine”.

a couple days later while they are doing their routine before work and the reader starts breaking down into tears and explains to marilyn how they are feeling. (a lot of fluff/marilyn going full protective mode)

Yess!!! Since I've read you're not okay, I decided to give priority to your request. Look, I don't know what are the problems you're having, but you have to know that everything always is gonna be all right. I suffered a lot of problems when I was at school years ago, and those days were the worst of my life.

But now I'm a new person, and I don't care what other people thinks about me. I know I can't do nothing to cheer you up, all I can do is to write this for you, and to let you to know that here is a friend to listen to you if you want to talk to someone!! Be strong and love yourself, it's the only way to happiness :)

Every little thing, gonna be all right

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill x Fem, Teacher! Reader

Warnings: Angst, hurt & comfort, mentions of depression

Word count: 2,254

Summary: You’re having a hard time, and there is no one who could cheer you up, or so you thought

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!! Sorry about the language mistakes, and please, be happy, life is wonderful!!!

The beep of the alarm clock brought you out of one of your anguishing nightmares. Normally you had no problem getting up, but for a few days, it was more difficult than ever. You turned off that horrible sound with a sudden blow and looked at the ceiling with a blank look.

“Another shitty day…” You whispered in a low voice.

Next to you, your girlfriend moved as she did every morning, hugging you half asleep.

“Good morning… (Y/N),” she said with her voice still asleep.

You hugged her to your chest.

Marilyn wasn't the problem. There was really nothing wrong with your life. You had a job, a house, a perfect girlfriend. Anyone looking at your life from the outside could be envious. That wasn't what made you wake up tired, sad.

It was some kind of transitory phase, or so you thought. Stress was also to blame. It was exam time and you had a lot of work. You stayed up very late correcting and that also led to a terrible lack of sleep.

You were depressed, listless, but you couldn't show it, not in front of her. Marilyn was so kind and so protective that she would surely call Larissa to tell her that you couldn't go to work, that you needed her care and words of encouragement. You probably needed them, but you didn't want to admit it.

It was enough that you were like this. You didn't want your girlfriend to suffer. She was too empathetic and you didn't want to give her a hard time. You decided to hide.

“Good morning, Mari,” you said, feigning a happier tone. She snuggled closer to you with a warm smile.

“I don't want to go to work…” She whispered childishly. “I want to stay here with you.”

If it wasn't for her, you'd be completely lost. Her words were the only thing that kept you tied to reality. Without her you would have gone completely crazy.

A thunder was heard outside. The weather was not helping your spirit. It hadn't stopped raining for three days, and that could depress even Marilyn, who always seemed like the happiest person in the world.

The idea of getting out of work was tempting, but you shook your head, noticing how the redhead fell asleep again.

“Come on, lazy girl. Larissa is going to kill us if we're late again,” you said, shaking her gently. She made a groan of protest as you pulled back the covers and looked up at you with a tired look.

“Lately we've never been late…” She sighed, sitting up on the bed. You were taking off your pajamas to get into the shower and you looked at her with some embarrassment. She was right. Normally your love made you lose track of time in the mornings. You've already been reprimanded several times for being more than an hour late.

But not anymore. You hadn't made love for days. You knew Marilyn didn't want to bring it up. Your tiredness was very evident in your eyes. You felt guilty, worthless for not being able to give your girlfriend all the love you had for her. That conversation would come soon, but you tried to make it as late as possible.

“I know, there's a lot of work and…” You started to excuse yourself, taking off your pajama shirt. Marilyn smiled warmly at you, and she hugged you from behind, kissing your now bare shoulder.

“Calm down, (Y/N). It wasn't a reproach...” She whispered to you, giving you a pat on the back. “Just an observation,” she teased, winking at you.

You made a superhuman effort to smile back as you went into the bathroom. A hot shower would certainly do you good, but you can’t have good luck even with that.

“Ahhh! Damn!” You yelled, feeling a jet of icy water on your body. Marilyn ran in.

“My God, what's wrong?” The redhead asked, stunned by your abrupt reaction.

“The, the hot water…” You stammered. “It, it doesn't work…” Your words trailed off at the same time that the water began to heat up.

Marilyn shook her head and gave a slightly wary smile.

“(Y/N), you have to wait a while, you know…” She told you, incredulous by your reaction.

You were angry. Angry for making a fool of yourself, for feeling frustrated and for not being able to vent. You would never think of paying for it with her. It wasn't her fault, no one was.

Things were as always. A hot shower with your girlfriend, a quick breakfast, and a horrible cold when you leave the house.

“Let's go in my car today,” you said, pressing the keys’ button. Marilyn nodded, but when she turned her gaze, her face changed.

“Umm, (Y/N)…” she said shyly, nodding towards the vehicle.

“What?” You asked, opening the door. The rain was starting to wear off your patience. Marilyn only pointed to one of the wheels. “Oh, no”

It was punctured. Definitely everything around you seemed to be against you. You snorted and leaned your head against the vehicle.

“Surely it was the other day branch. I told you we should have taken a better look,” The redhead said, putting a hand on your back.

You pursed your lips and stepped away from the car. You had to make a great effort not to answer rudely or abruptly.

“Yeah, I've noticed, thanks,” you said with your voice a little wrapped in anger.

The road to Nevermore was as boring as ever. Whenever you weren't driving, you were the DJ, playing upbeat and uplifting music to start the day off right. Not that day, you only listened to the local radio station.

“(Y/N), are you alright? Normally I have to fight with you to turn down the music,” Marilyn asked you.

You looked at her briefly and then put your head back on your hand.

“My head hurts,” you lied, although the lie was even worse.

“Don't worry, when we arrive we'll ask the nurse for an aspirin and…”

“No, no, no. I'll pass. It must be the pressure change due to the storm...”

There was no further conversation and you were grateful that it was so. You didn't want to speak badly to her, she didn't deserve it. She gave everything for you, always, and you used to do the same. You used to.

The classes were bad. Your patience was running low, and you didn't feel like joking like you used to. You were abrupt, sulking, not wanting to put up with the whispers of the kids. Naturally they noticed and kept silent, looking at you almost fearfully.

The bell rang and you felt a certain release.

“Go away...” You sighed, letting yourself fall into the chair. The students looked at you strangely, surely wondering where their usual teacher was, the one who always joked when explaining a writer’s life.

It was too late for lunch and too early to dinner. You pulled out a file cabinet full of overdue papers and began to read them, angrily pulling out your red marker. There was going to be a lot of bad results.  

“Stupid, stupid!” You said furiously, putting a huge X on one of the jobs. “It's not Marie Curie, it's Mary Shelley, you idiot!”

“(Y/N), don't be so hard on them, they do what they can,” the redhead told you, leaning on the door.

You shook your head and closed your eyes, trying to stay calm.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, noticing how hard it was for you to move your muscles to fake a smile.

“You haven't come for lunch, I assumed you were busy,” she said bending down to give you a kiss. “Oh, I almost forgot, here.”

Marilyn reached into her pocket and offered you what looked like one of your favorite candy bars.

“Thank you Marilyn, you're always taking care of me…” You sighed, taking the appetizer and looking at it melancholy. The redhead bent down and she kissed you again, but this time she didn't pull away, she just stared at you, as if she was examining your expression.

“Honey, lately you've been a bit... Apathetic. Excuse me but I think something is wrong with you,” she told you, caressing your cheek.

Nothing went unnoticed by her. You shook your head, feeling a familiar ache in your throat and the sensation of blurry vision.

“N, no… I'm fine, Mari, just a little tired,” you said, praying that the tears weren't too evident in your eyes.

“Sweetie… If something happens to you, all you have to do is…”

“I'm fine, Marilyn, really. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of busy and…”

Your girlfriend's look turned sad, disappointed, but she nodded and walked out the door without saying a word.

You couldn't feel worse.

The rest of the day was boring. Marilyn came to see you a couple of times, and you to her, but barely speaking. You only looked into space with a lost look, noticing how the gray clouds in the sky were a faithful reflection of your feelings.

The next day…

That thunderous beeping again. That beep that brought you back to reality. The routine was slowly killing you.

When you opened your eyes you didn't even feel like complaining or saying a bad word. You just got out of bed, not letting Marilyn hold you. You walked towards the kitchen as if you were a zombie, an automaton condemned to do the same thing over and over again. You started the coffee maker and you stayed contemplating how the coffee was coming out.

“(Y/N), you woke up early…” A sleepy Marilyn said, walking towards you and hugging you from behind, kissing your shoulder like every day.

“I wanted to make coffee…” You said resignedly, taking two cups from the cupboard. “Do you want some?”

“Of course,” she told you happily, sitting on the stool.

You ate breakfast in silence. Marilyn seemed just as happy as ever, but you were staring at the mesmerized counter and its design marks.

“I've been thinking…” Marilyn said as she got dressed. You were sitting on the bed and you looked at her slowly, coming out of your dark world of sadness and desolation. We could go on vacation in two weeks. “You know... Just you and me, with no Nevermore, no students or exams.”

You nodded with a slight smile. You still had the towel wrapped around your body. Your clothes for that day were on top of a chair, but something prevented you from taking them. Maybe it was the weather.

“I have thought about Florida. Also, we can go to see alligators, I know you like them.”

You couldn't take it anymore. The tears that were forming in your eyes finally found their way down your cheeks. It was a lot of pressure kept for many days. At some point they had to get out.

Marilyn turned around and her face changed completely. She ran towards you and crouched looking at you concerned, grabbing your hand.

“My girl… If you don't like Florida we can go to another…”

“No, it's not that, Mari…” You sobbed, grabbing her hand tightly. “I lied to you, Marilyn.”

“What?” She asked scared.

“Yes, something is wrong with me, I just, I just don't know what it is...”

“My love... Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't know what to tell you... I don't know what's wrong with me...” You said broken into tears. Marilyn sat next to you on the bed and wiped away your tears.

“Try it, honey… I want to help you,” she told you softly. You shook your head and took a breath.

“I feel submerged in a gray and routine world. Everything is stressful. The classes, the exams. I feel as if I were in a hamster wheel, rolling over and over again,” you explained in the best way that your tears allowed.

“That's normal, honey, it happens to a lot of people…” She told you, holding your other hand.

“I Don't know. I don't feel like anything…” You kept crying, being unable to stop yourself.

“My poor girl…” She whispered, pulling you towards her. “Come here, let me give you some love...”

Gently, Marilyn cradled you in her arms. Your tears wouldn't stop coming, but it was comforting to let them go. You had been holding them back for a long time. You didn't know exactly what the reasons were, but little by little you began to feel better, feeling safe as she slowly cooed to you. The silence was broken by a soft hum.

“Mmmm, don't worry… about a thing…” She sang softly. Her voice was so soft that it made your heart beat faster. “Come on, you know the lyrics...”

“Cause…Every Little thing…Gonna be all right…” You sang with a broken voice…

You stayed that way for a moment, singing softly as you swayed.

It was hard to believe, but you felt much better. She was everything you could want. Sometimes you doubted that she was normi. She had the power to paint the grayest things in many colors, to make the sun rise in the cloudiest and stormiest sky.

“Marilyn…” You said, wiping away what was left of your tears.

“Hmm?”

“I would really like to go on vacation with you… Wherever you want…”

The redhead smiled and she kissed you on the lips, probably sensing the salty taste of your tears.

“I love you, (Y/N)…” “Me too Mari… Me too…”

#marilyn thornhill #marilyn thornhill x reader #wednesday #ms thornhill #oneshot

[rosenallies]

Rosé is always so caring to everyone! How about a phone sex prompt where she is slowly overextending herself (taking care of Nali, her siblings, overdoing it at work..), and it finally hits her all at once. Maybe she passes out and scares everyone around her, causing them to pause on how much she's doing for everyone? (Might sound a bit depressing, but i'm honestly feeling so down so slight angst feels the way to go)

I’m so here for phone sex au lately prob bc im also so incredibly depressed but <3 yes<3 ty for this I hope u feel better <3 also sorry if there’s typos I’m very very sleepy tired rn but I wanted to write a bit before bed so I can have something to think about before I fall asleep besides my own issues <3

——

“Yeah, yep, Jan, I’ve got it,” Rosé huffed, head swimming as she tried to focus on her sister’s words over the phone and the grocery list she hadn’t bothered to actually write down before coming into the store.

“I just wanna make sure you’ve got all the details down now so when Christmas comes it’s not stressful.”

If Rosé’s vision hadn’t been flickering in and out she might’ve rolled her eyes, but as Jan droned on and on about what to get the kids for Christmas and exactly how Rosé should cook the turkey and how Lagoona wanted her to bake those cookies everyone likes, Rosé’s brain came in and out of focus like a wonky TV station.

“Rosie, are you okay?” Her sister suddenly asked, pausing her rambling.

“Yeah, ��m fine,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes shut, “I’m just trying to find Denali those protein bars she’ll eat and-“

“Rosé, you’re scaring me, can you go sit down? Tell Denali to come get you, you don’t sound right.”

“Jan, I’m fine,” she insisted, yet she felt anything but, a sudden tightness in her chest making her gasp and fall to her knees in the middle of the grocery store.

••

“Rosie? Oh god, Rosie,” Rosé heard a muffled voice beside her as she blinked awake, a constant beeping burrowing it’s way into her brain and making her head ache.

She kept blinking, the room suddenly coming into focus, Denali tear stricken face the first thing she saw.

“Nali, baby,” she croaked as gently as her sore throat would allow, reaching for the younger girl, “what’s the matter? I’m here now-“

Denali shook her head, holding onto Rosé’s hand tightly. “You shouldn’t be worried about me right now, you should be worried about you, don’t you know why you’re in the hospital?”

Truth be told, Rosé had just now come to the realization that the unfamiliar room where she was, was indeed a hospital room and it was her connected to a drip, the constant beeping signaling her own vital signs. “I-what happened?”

“You passed out while shopping, Rosie,” Denali sniffled, taking her hand and resting it against her warm cheek, “I was so fucking scared when the hospital called me.”

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Rosé replied shamefully.

“No, you don’t need to be sorry, I need you to relax. The doctors said it was just a panic attack but that it could start to cause stress on your heart if you continue to be anxious like this.”

“Panic attack?”

The words felt wrong in Rosé’s mouth, she’d had many panic attacks before and none of them ever left her unconscious on the floor of a grocery store. She supposed it had been building, her body finally protesting.

Denali squeezed her hand. “Maybe you should try going back to therapy? I’ll help you find a good one just like you helped me.”

Rosé felt shame and disgust in herself, weak for needing help when she was supposed to be taking care of those around her, that’s who she was, that’s who she’d always been.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Denali said softly, reaching forward and brushing a sweaty strand of hair from her face, “but it’s okay to ask for help. Let me take care of you for once. You trust me, don’t you?”

“I-I do, but Nali-“

“No buts,” Denali insisted, “when they called they said they’d thought you’d had a stress induced cardiac event and even though that wasn’t the case, it’s not too far off. I love you too much to let you suffer.”

Previously unshed tears began to fall from Rosé’s eyes, a gentle stream down her cheeks. “I-I’m s-sorry, I-I l-love you too,” she cried, reaching for Denali who crawled in bed beside her, rules be damned. She gently guided Rosé’s head to her chest just like Rosé had done for her so many times before.

“Shhh, shh,” Denali soothed, “I’ve got you.”

Denali soothed her until she fell back asleep, so clearly exhausted. She was dead to the world when Denali snuck out of the bed to talk to Rosé’s sisters on the phone.

“How is she?” Jan demanded to know the second she picked up.

“She’s okay,” Denali sighed, “we’ve got to give her a break, though. It was just a panic attack but that’s just this time, next time it could be her heart.”

“Take good care of her, okay? Tell her Goona and I will figure out Christmas, we don’t want her lifting a finger.”

“Me neither,” Denali agreed before hanging up, having the same conversation with Lagoona and heading back into the room.

“You left me,” Rosé said softly when she came back in.

“I was talking to your sisters,” she explained, getting back into the bed beside her, “we all agree that you’re not allowed to do anything for the time being.”

As much as not being needed scared her, Rosé couldn’t help but smile to herself. “Thank you, Nali.”

Denali tried to fight her smile, but she was so glad Rosé wasn’t putting up a fight about this so she kissed her temple and snuggled close. “You don’t need to thank me, I promise. I’m just doing what I need to do because I love you, that’s how love works. You take care of me, I take care of you.”

#phone sex au #prompt request

[dcschart]

Commissions are closed again, thank you to those who support me <3

#text #I wish I was good enough to do commissions full time n sell prints n stuff as my job but ;;;;; eh; you know how it is #I’m feeling down rn so sorry if this comes off as depressing; I’m just tired of stuff; ya know #but thank you to anyone who’s commissioned me; you mean so fucking much to me;;;; thank you for thinking I’m good enough <3

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

NOW LETS MAKE BLOB ANGST basically the reader d!es in a rap battle with bf kinda like how garcello died (?) In a way? Idk and bob the blob 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓪 𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓼𝓱𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮 𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓭 is sad and depressed about his best friends death (I mean who wouldn't be) and then the reader just comes back like 'ayo 🗿' but still g h o s t idfk I'm tired asf so I don't make a lot of sense rn and if requests closed just i g n o r e m a y h a p s 🤔🤔🤔👶👶👶👶👶🗿🗿🗿🗿❓❓❓❓❓❓❓

-skittle anon

Bob was sitting upon the same grassy green hill where he met you. He wondered when he'll see you again, considering you're one of his only human friends.

He'd love to talk and sing with you more often!

For a while he gazed at his squishy microphone, eager to share the new song he came up with. Just for you and you alone. For being a good friend.

So when he saw Keith coming over the hill, he frowned, assuming that this stupid blue-haired kid was going to challenge him to another rap battle. He didn't want that! He wanted to share his new song with you only.

However, his annoyance turned into confusion upon seeing how sad Keith appeared. Not to mention..neither his girlfriend nor microphone were anywhere in sight. Although Bob didn't particularly care for him, he decided to bite.

"What's wrong?" He tilted his head.

Almost immediately Keith's eyes welled up with tears. "D-Don't be mad when I say this, but..I.." He hesitated.

"Are you sorry for comparing me to-?"

"I-I am! But..that's not why I'm here. It's about [y/n]."

Worry began forming a knot in Bob's nonexistent stomach. What did he mean by that? What happened to you?

When he questioned Keith further, he heard next made his whole world shatter:

"We had a rap battle and..th-they pushed themselves too much..I-I tried to help them but I couldn't a-and I'm sorry!!! I didn't realize it till it was too late!!" He sobbed, feeling utterly guilty, but he knew he had to tell him.

Bob was absolutely crushed by this revelation. You...sang yourself to death? And the one person who mocked him once before was the last to see you alive???

His microphone fell into the grass, rolling down the hill as he stared at Keith in disbelief. "Y-You..killed my friend."

Sniffling, the singer wiped his tears away. "N-No...it wasn't me. I would never-!"

Though he had little time to explain himself, as he heard a rumble of thunder and looked up, realizing the sky was overcast. He glanced back at Bob, seeing his angered expression.

"Leave."

"B-But...do you wanna know what-?"

L̵͙̈eà̵v̷͝e̴̢͖͕͈̒̔." Bob's demonic form began to reveal itself, which was more than enough of a warning for Keith. He ran off in haste, thinking that it was probably best that he didn't know how you died exactly.

"C'mon, bud..that's the second time you've scared Keith half to death."

Bob's realistic eyes widened at first, before they flickered around. Eventually they landed on a transparent ghostly figure behind him.

It was you.

At first he thought it was just some vision he conjured up, but as he turned back to normal, you were still floating there. And you were smiling.

"F-Friend is here?" His mouth began to waver. "But..he-"

"It wasn't his fault." You patted his head comfortingly. "I pushed myself too much and..this is what I got. I'm not the only one who did, though. I had a chat with a cool smoker guy and he went through the same thing."

Tears were in the corners of Bob's eyes, but he couldn't help but smile in return, happy that he was able to see you again. He shuffled over to hug you, feeling upset that he couldn't properly hug you like he used to. Though you just hugged him back anyway.

You did consider moving on after seeing him one last time.

But..maybe you should stay longer.

#hehe angst go brr #clanask #skittle anon #fnf x reader #friday night funkin x reader #fnf bob x reader #ghost reader #angst #tw death

[anyoneseenadam]

Hi! Could you do an azriel x reader where they have a huge argument but it ends with fluff? Thank you!

pairing: azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, shouting, swearing and a butt ton of angst but with some fluff at end

a/n: this is kinda self indulgent because i’m vvv depressed rn and for some reason angst rlly makes me feel better so i hope u enjoy!! pls comment it rlly means the world <3

—————————————————————————-

You knew Azriel was stressed. His hands clenched, lips red from excessive chewing, his gaze stormy and sharp words hurting anyone that pried to deep. You knew you should leave him alone and let him finish whatever he needed to do, but it had been a week and while you had noticed he was stressed, he seemed oblivious to your pain.

You had woken up a week ago with a heavy head, your entire body weighing you down, making everything seem too loud and too bright. The first day you had laid in bed all day, barely eating and when Azriel found you hours later he simply presumed you had just taken an early night.

But you couldn’t sleep.

A few days later you were practically withering away. You had barely eaten in days; you couldn’t sleep, and you missed your mate horribly. Every part of you ached as you dragged yourself into the shower, desperate to scrub away the layer of dirt you could feel on your skin. You stood under the scalding water, hands moving on their own accord to wash your skin, your head moving a million miles an hour as your eyes itched from the hot tears that were mixing with the even hotter water.

You leaned a hand against the counter when you got out, your legs shaky and weak from the lack of food you had consumed, you considered just getting back into bed, but you knew you needed help. You had gotten like this before and it always ended in some form of unhealthy coping mechanism, but you had promised Azriel you wouldn’t do that again so you instead you pulled your clothes on again, not bothering to dry your hair and dragged your feet to the kitchen.

When you didn’t find him there you frowned but went about making yourself some toast to quell the nausea brewing in your stomach. With your food you padded through your house but couldn’t find him anywhere, feeling more hot tears spill as you realised he was out.

You knew his job was hard, but your heart ached as you realised he truly hadn’t noticed the change. You sent a pulse down the bond as you sank to the floor in tears, your head heavy and heart numb. You didn’t get any reply, so you tried sending another one, to no avail, almost as if he were waving away your cries for help.

You cried for about fifteen minutes, before standing and going back through to your room, sitting on your bed, and staring at a blemish in the floor as you fiddled with the toy you had kept since you were young. You felt guilty for the thoughts running through your head, never wanting to make Azriel alone but feeling so lost in your own head that all you wanted to do was die, to feel the lightness you vaguely remembered enjoying as a child. You were standing to move to your bathroom, itching for your razor when you heard the front door open, relief flooding through you that he was finally home.

You walked out the room, fiddling with the sleeves of your oversized hoodie as you went to meet him. He was standing in the kitchen, shoulders tight and your heart panged at the sight of him, stressed and tired. You considered turning and leaving him but remembered that he told you to always come to him when your head was being cruel, so you shuffled forward, wrapping your arms around his back, and pressing your face between his shoulder blades, breathing easier as you inhaled him, your heart feeling some form of peace at last.

But he shrugged you off, moving away from you and you felt white hot dread fill you.

“Not right now (y/n), I’m busy.” His voice was cold as he made himself a cup of coffee, not offering you one as he usually would.

“I- I know I just haven’t seen you in a while.” You fought to keep your voice steady, but he didn’t seem to notice or care about the breaks. You felt your breathing getting deeper and your hands were tingling as the panic rose in you.

“That’s because my jobs fucking important!” he shouted and you flinched, tears swarming in your eyes as you wiped your sweating hands on your hoodie, stepping to him.

“But you said I should come to you if-“ he cut you off by slamming his hands down, shoulder hunched and glare furious as he shouted at you.

“Will you just fuck off! I have important shit going on.” You stopped where you were standing as he picked up his mug, storming out the room and slamming the door to his office behind him.

Tears spilled out of your eyes and you stumbled as you sat down, legs and hands going numb as you hyperventilated, the panic attack hitting you full force as you sobbed into your hands, trying to muffle the sounds so you wouldn’t bother Azriel anymore than you already had. You counted your breaths as you dug your nails into your palm, trying to calm yourself down and thankfully, slowly your breathing began to return to normal as you wiped at your eyes.

Of course he didn’t care. No one else does, you don’t deserve him, and you should be thankful that you have someone so good to you. Half your brain was arguing in his favour as the other half protested, but he hurt you, you can’t let him in again, this is what happens when people get to close.

Your head kept arguing with itself as you pulled yourself upright, walking through to your room and climbing under the covers of your bed, crying yourself to sleep, head pounding and somehow heavier than before.

--

You woke up to an empty bed and pounding headache. You dragged yourself out from under the covers and went to receive a glass of water and some painkillers, finding Azriel in the kitchen.

He smiled softly at you when you came in, but you averted your gaze, going to the sink and filling a large glass.

“Would you like a coffee?” he asked, his hand coming to your hip, but you shook your head, pulling out of his grip and clearing your throat as a weighted silence filled the room. “I’m sorry I shouted at you,” he muttered, desperate to get you to look at him again, but you just turned away, muttering a small “it’s okay,” under your breath and leaving.

You walked back to your room and sat down on the bed as you sipped your water and taking two painkillers. Azriel followed you in soon after, guilt gnawing at his insides and he stood quietly and watched as you pulled the jumper you were wearing over your head, pulling on a clean one.

He inhaled sharply as he saw the change in your body, moving closer to you.

“Have you been eating?” he asked, and you closed your eyes, facing away from him and staying silent as you no longer trusted your voice or temper. “Baby, you have to eat.” While he said it in a pleading manner, your brain heard it as angry, thousands of comments pertaining to how worthless you were springing to the forefront of your mind.

“It’s kinda hard to eat when you want to die.” You snapped and Azriel felt a pang go through his heart.

“(y/n). You promised me you would come to me if you felt that way,” he was frustrated, hating himself for getting annoyed at you but angry that you were ignoring him.

You laughed bitterly and you went to the bathroom, scrubbing the old makeup of your face, “I did. Or at least tried to,”

You stormed past him, pulling on a pair of joggers before moving to leave the house, but Azriel caught your arm.

“You haven’t done anything stupid have you?” he asked, worry and guilt filling him as your eyes filled with tears, finally looking at him enough that he could see the dark circles surrounding your hollow eyes, your skin dull and lacking its usual dewy finish.

“Why do you care.” You pulled your arm from his grip, stepping back and creating space between the two of you.

“Because you’re my mate and I need to know that you’re okay.” He tried to move closer again, but you stepped back so he stopped.

“Your mate huh? Then why haven’t I seen you in a fucking week, even though we fucking live together! Why are you only just noticing that I’m struggling!?” each word hit him like a blow and only his decades of training stopped him from bursting into tears, falling to his knees and begging your forgiveness.

“I was struggling so much, I couldn’t leave my bed, I wasn’t eating, I wanted to kill myself and as soon as I tried to reach out for help you shut me down.” You head was bowed, tears flowing freely as you sobbed into your hand.

He stepped closer his arms wrapping around you as you sobbed into his chest, “I’m sorry baby, I’m so, so sorry,” he kissed your head, his heart cracking at your next muffled words.

“You only care now because you feel bad. I don’t need your sympathy.”

“No baby, I’m sorry. I care so much I was just tired and stressed last night and I know that’s not an excuse, but you have to know how much I care about you. I love you so much and I need you to be okay.” He tightened his arms around you, bringing the two of you to kneel on the floor.

“I’m not okay Az,” you muttered, and his chest tightened as he stroked your back, allowing you to cry for as long as you needed.

“I know baby, but it’s okay. We’ll get through this, together.” He kissed your forehead lightly and you tilted your head to look at him, eyes wide and glassy with tears. He kissed one of the tears that was slowly trailing down your face away and you sniffed, before he kissed you lightly. He picked you up and carried you over to the bed, the two of you lying down together, tucked safely into his arms as he whispered sweet nothings and apologies to you as you fell asleep. Tears drying on their own.

#acofas #acomaf #acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #acowar #acofs #acosf #rhysand

[tavern-aa]

Hi~ can i still request using prompt? i want to request percy jackson with top male reader if can. Reader take Percy home because he's too drunk after a celebration. Percy let out his feeling for Reader, then like Smut. 14+11. But Reader only want to when Percy sober. Percy keep begging Reader and eventually Reader give up. When Percy sober the next morning, he blush hard after remember it, but still he love all of it. :D

A/N: Hi, this is Leviathan...I have been putting these off for so long because I am a little bitch. I would have written these sooner but I am infact, very dumb, so I do apologize for that. Writer's block and depression and classes starting back up and yeah sorry. These are gonna be headcannons, I'm taking a break from writing fics for a while; my brain doesn't have big thoughts so fics are hard for me rn.

Warnings: NSFW, drinking,

x Male Reader

Part 2

-

-

-

Percy Jackson

14. “Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop.”

11. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

-

-

-

The first thing he does when you two walk out of the door of the party is puke

You would think he'd be able to hold his liquor

No, mans doubles over and empties his stomach right on the lawn

You just hoist him back up into a standing position and help him walk/drag him back to his cabin

"Hey...Hey Y/N, you know I-I love you man...Shit man you're just, wow."

His words are so slurred, you can barely understand him at all

He has this really dopey grin on his face as he continues to babble incoherently

When you reach his cabin, you carefully get him inside and usher him over to his cot

This is where he starts to babble about how pretty your eyes are and how nice you smell and how strong and handsome you are

You can't help but laugh a little at his mindless chatter as you walk over to his hygiene pack and pull out his toothbrush and such

"Percy...yeah yeah my eyes are pretty, I get it, let's brush your teeth okay? They're gonna get gross after puking"

"But, I don't wanna Y/N"

His voice is whiny as you help him over to the basin to help brush his teeth

His black hair is matted against his face with sweat but it doesn't make him look gross or anything of the sort

Instead, he looks absolutely ravishing

His eyes are glistening and yet they're cloudy due to his drunken state

"Y/N"

This comes out much clearer

"What is it, Perce?"

"I love you"

"I know dork"

You hush him as you usher him back to his cot, carefully helping him remove his sweat soaked shirt

"No...Y/N, I-I'm in love with you"

This has you frozen in space

What?

There is no way he likes you....

There's just no way

"Percy, you're drunk, you're saying stuff you don't mean"

"No! I'm fine!"

The slurring of his words beg to differ but you decide not to mention that

"Okay, so say that this isn't just you being drunk...why are you telling me this now?"

You wouldn't admit this at any other time, but your hands are shaking like crazy

"I...I just felt like I should tell you...I just got...so tired of hiding, I guess"

You sigh and let yourself sit on the edge of Percy's cot

"I- fuck, Percy, I didn't wanna tell you while you're like this...I love you, too I mean, I do. I'm in love with you, have been for years, but..."

"But? But what?"

"I just don't want you to forget about this in the morning is all"

Percy looks conflicted before he leans closer to your body

"Y/N, have sex with me"

You're completely bewildered, where did this come from first of all. Second of all, why is this the conclusion he came to?

"Percy, I'm not going to sleep with you while you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying"

"Yes I do! Gods damn it Y/N! Please, I just...please, I want you, I want to be with you. In every way possible, please"

You felt your heart clench in your chest before another sigh left your lips

"I...Alright, just, fuck, alright...I don't want you to regret this"

Percy immediately attaches your lips together in a heated embrace

It takes you by surprise, but you catch him by the waist

The taste of the mint toothpaste is strong on his tongue as both your wet muscles wrestle for dominance

You quickly overpower him and gently lay him on his back, crawling over his body

The sight below you leaves you speechless

His cheeks are flushed and his lips are swollen from the passionate kisses you gave him

His torso is exposed and his pink nipples are fully on show, tormenting you, tempting you to take them into your mouth

And you do just that

A small squeak leaves Percy's lips as you attach your lips to the sensitive buds, your teeth grazing against them softly before you let your teeth clamp down on the surrounding skin

His fingers trail into your hair trying to get a grip on the strands as another sound escapes him.

"Shhh baby boy, we don't want anyone to hear us do we?"

Percy let out a whimper before he shook his head 'no' and pulled your lips back to his own

A/N: It wont let me write any more than this so this is part 1?

#percy jackson #percy jackson x male reader #percy jackson x reader #pjo #hoo #toa #pjo x reader #pjo x male reader #x male reader #x reader #x gender neutral reader

[babyyweebbitch]

So I saw ur last post about Izuku as a dad, but I want a bit of angst. Could you do the main 3 (Izuku, Todoroki, Bakugo) if something bad happened to their kid? Like if they were kidnapped by villains or they got hurt- I’m just in the mood for some heartbreak rn 😞

Sorry in advance if I make these too depressing (also sorry for it taking so long, I’ve been stressed)

genre: angst; fluff (only at the ends of these)

warnings: kidnapping; bullying; nomus; near death

pronouns for reader: they/them

for this one I’ll make them older since I want the kid to be in their teens for these ones — I’d feel too bad if it was an actual child (also I kinda did something and made nomus slightly easier to kill 😁)

characters: shoto; izuku; katsuki

Bakugo (bullies...)

Bakugo was at home while his wife was at work and his 15 year old was at school. Sitting at the table it was about time for his kid to come home and he wanted to talk about their day and eat dinner together but they were almost an hour late and he started worrying since they wouldn’t answer his calls or text

Around 5:15 the door bursting open and Bakugo stood up ready to fight thinking it was a villain but it was his kid — Their clothes were ripped, bruised, bleeding and crying. Stumbling inside they fell to the floor and whimpered in pain

“What the fuck?!” Katsuki basically yelled as he ran over to them and sat them up. He was so pissed off to the point he was so close to setting off explosions “What the hell happened?!”

“T-they... jumped me on my way home... and stole some of my stuff” They say as they start crying thinking about it, Bakugo picked them up and held them in his arms as he walked to the bathroom and placed them down on the toilet which was closed

His main priority right now was to take care of them and clean them up, attend their wounds. He’ll deal with the bullies later. Quickly running out the bathroom to grab one their big shirts and underwear (and bra if you’re a girl), then first aid kit

So much was going through his mind as he looked for everything, he was so pissed people can do something so disgusting to someone so kind like his son/daughter. He was mainly pissed at the fact he couldn’t protect them when it happened

Once returning he got them all washed in a warm Bath, cleaned and covered their wounds, once everything was taken care of he picked them up and took them to their room so they can rest, even gave them their favourite stuffed animal they’ve had since they were a baby

“I’ll check on you later...” placing a kiss on their head he walked out to call the school and once his wife got home he told her everything, she came into their room so worried only to see them sleeping peacefully.

The bullies ended getting expelled and time in juvenile hall since it was after school hours and they (you) moved schools

Deku (kidnapping...)

Deku was at home when he got a text from an unknown number, at first he was gonna delete it but he didn’t because he had a strange feeling he should look at it, once he did his heart nearly stopped when he saw a photo of his 16 year old son/daughter tied up on the floor in underwear (and bra if you’re a girl)

Then a text underneath read ; “We’re borrowing them for a little bit. If you want them back come find us. Don’t worry they aren’t hurt that badly. They’re still breathing — LOV”

Surprisingly they said who they were, Deku immediately got up and ran out the door, he wasn’t even thinking about anything anymore. His kid was the only thing he cared about right now

He didn’t care if it took him days to find them — As long as they are okay thats all that matters, thankfully it only took him a few hours to find exactly where they were and when he did he didn’t hesitate at all to fight everyone of them off

After he was done fighting he immediately picked his son/daughter up and ran to safety, taking off his shirt to give to them and he ran to the closet hospital to see if they had any serious injuries

“Don’t worry, dad’s got you. We’ll get you all checked up and we can go home to relax there” Deku was always so gentle and kind with his kid, even if they did something wrong.

“I-I love you dad...”

Shoto (nomu)

This one kinda long oops 😀

Shoto and his 15 year older son/daughter were having a nice day out that day, they got ice cream together, went to an arcade, they got a new stuffed animal that they put in the car at the mall so they didn’t get tired walking with it

Just when you thought things couldn’t get bad — It did. A bunch of villains attacked the mall with two Nomus, one Nomu on each side of the mall. There was a shit ton of chaos happening and after about a few minutes of trying to fight off the nomus and villains something happened Shoto was scared shitless of happening. His kid was hurt pretty badly by one of the Nomus trying to protect a civilian from it

They were punched so hard in the stomach they flew to the wall and hit it pretty hard, somehow a piece of glass cut them on the face and a few broken bones — Their breathing was slow... so much blood was near them and Shoto legitimately thought they died until they moved just a bit

Paramedics came and so did a few heros, fighting off the nomus and Villains so that Shoto could get to his kid. Paramedics got them into their truck attached to so many different machines in one small truck

“What do you mean I can’t go in there with them?! That’s my fucking kid!” Shoto rarely lost his temper and yelled and cussed but he was so worried he had to.

“Sir, you can follow us there” was the last thing one of the paramedics said before closing the door and they sped away, Shoto ran as fast as he possibly could to his car and got inside, going over the speed limit to get to the hospital faster, surprisingly didn’t get pulled over on his way there

After about a few hours of waiting to see his kid to see if they were okay a nurse came out to him

“Mr Todoroki?” She called out, Shoto stood up so fast he also passed the fuck out from it

“Are they okay?!”

“They’re doing good, they’re awake. But three things we need to tell you; on the way here they did die for about a minute but they came back. We were pretty shocked to see that happen, they have a pretty big scar on their eye, but nothing we couldn’t fix! And lastly they have a broken arm and rib. You can go see them”

Shoto nodded at this information and he went to grab the stuffed animal he brought in from the car so he had something to hug, walking to the room that they were in he broke into tears seeing them

“Oh thank god you’re okay!” He said going over to grab onto their non injured hand

“Dad... I—“ they said as they felt tears build up in their eye, they held his hand tightly and smiled very softly — Still in pain when they did “I told you you’re not getting rid of me that easy, I’m staying forever” They said in reassurance as if they were the parent

If it’s horrible I’m sorry 😭

#mha fluff #my hero academia #gender nuetral reader #they/them #angst #katsuki bakugou #bakugou fluff #bakugo angst #katsuki bakugo x reader #Bakugo x gender neutral reader #Deku #izuku mydoria #izuku fluff #izuku angst #izuku #izuku x gender neutral reader #shoto torodoki #shoto bnha #todoroki shouto #shoto x gender neutral reader #I’m sorry this too so much #request

[becca-e-barnes]

pls don’t get tired of me 🥺

i went back to work and everything was bearable and fine but saturday…. i had a good day at work. and i knew i was off today and i was so excited when i got off of work. but i had this feeling in my heart that something was off.

while i was at work, my emotional support dog of almost 4 years was hit by a car. i didn’t find out until late that night when i got home. it happened not even 2 hours after i got to my job. and we love on a dirt road (we’re southern) so they had to be going pretty fast.

my parents met me at our restaurant and we ate and i was happy but mom was quiet. about an hour and a half later we went home. we keep her inside bc she’s so small and dogs have all ready attacked our other dog to get to her in the past, she’s a pure pomeranian but she’s a “throwback” so she’s the original size. well i didn’t hear her scratching on the door like she does when she hears me come home. i go inside and i don’t see her. i call for her bc that’s the first thing i do when i get home. she’s just like a child that i birthed to me bc we are literally inseparable. ik how that sounds but there’s no other way to describe it. i love her like she’s my blood.

as soon as i call her name and look around i get confused bc i don’t see or hear her. mom is acting weird now so she’s like hold on and she gets my dad and she’s holding his hand and begins explaining:

she was outside and she likes to chase the cars that go by and i’m usually the one to tell her to get out of the road or be careful but i wasn’t there. i wasn’t there. mom said it got quiet she couldn’t hear her bark so she looked out side and called and she didn’t come. mom got worried. she happened to look over and see her in the road. trying to get up. but she said her front legs were stiff and her back legs were paralyzed almost bc she couldn’t move them. and mom loves her so much to. she picked her up and started talking sweetly to her, caressing her, holding her.

long story short she IMMEDIATELY hauled ass and hit the road calling any and every vet bc obviously she thought that she had been bitten by a snake, it’s pretty common down here. well anyways that’s how she ended up at the hospital and found out it was a car accident. hanna couldn’t even bark. and she was crying and my mom was crying. and she had to leave her there.

i cant keep going bc i’m too emo and ik it’s too much to read but she’s still there tonight and not doing any better. she might not get to walk again. but if she lives i would build and paint her any prosthetic i could. im so depressed. we all are she is literally our family. i cant live without her. she’s kept me alive for so long. i cant sleep in my bed not only bc of arachnophobia but bc her spot beside me is empty. i feel like a child that i birthed and raised with flesh and blood is in the hospital fighting for her life rn. ppl don’t realize the impact dogs have on us. she is my everything. we got so close that we both have separation anxiety for eachother. i cant function. i stayed on that one spot on the couch that’s right under where she sits on the top to look outside, all day. i couldn’t leave it. i wanted to feel close to her.

what if i lose her? how do i cope? i’m so lost. it feels like she took my heart with her. do you know what i should do? do you know what i’m feeling? everything i see reminds me of her. i still think i can hear her barks outside. im beside myself. i need someone to confide in outside of my mom. i just need you i think.

(i’m sorry if i missed some details or it doesn’t make sense i’m very not myself rn and it’s hard to think)

-r.a.

Oh my god sweetheart, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you must be in, I truly am so so sorry, you really don’t have it easy at the moment. Literally ready to cry on the train just reading that

I couldn’t even imagine the mess I’d be in if something happened to Belle, I know I wouldn’t cope with it and I really wish there was some way I could help.

But if nothing else, you just have to focus on being strong until you’re able to cuddle her again because I just know she’d hate to think you’re upset without her there to comfort you. You can’t think about what would happen in a worst case scenario, it’ll only make it all so much harder on you and you don’t need that right now. But I know it’s probably the only thing on your mind.

And please make sure you’re taking care of yourself the best that you can. Make sure you’re sleeping and eating and focusing on your own well-being because your body is still probably recovering from that mf spider bite. You really need to be kind to yourself above anything else and if you ever need me a little more urgently, please feel free to dm me, I’ll be here. Please don’t try to handle it by yourself, you don’t need to 💗 sending you endless love and support and I’ll pray for you and your Hanna too if you don’t mind.

Also if you need a few numbers for support services I’m more than happy to find you some. I’m just conscious of the fact I’m not trained or educated enough to help as much as I’d like to so I’m more than happy to find you some professionals if you think that would be useful just to have in case it’s needed

#asks answered <3 #ranting anon #tw: pet injury #tw: pet illness #tw: car accident #spider #my heart is breaking for you rn #I truly hope she’s okay #this must be so hard #and if I’ve missed any warning in my tags PLEASE let me know #sending you so much love #sad post

[bittybattybunny]

I hope your not feeling down on your writing skills because I haven't caught up and commented on your latest releases. It's not you it's that I pick too many fanfics to follow and they all update a lot and I've been so busy and I've fallen behind on so many fics from various authors and sometimes my depression just makes me want to lie in bed all day doing nothing and it doesn't help I have to spend my limited spoons helping family everyday. I know these aren't good excuses, but I do sympathize with the lack of energy feeling at least. But your work really does bring a lot of joy to my life. It's so fun keeping up with your various AUs, and your latest one that features Kaya as Spider King has me really hyped because I want to learn more about Kaya, she's so fun! And Ruclipse is such a good comfort ship that just hits all the things I like seeing in a ship. You're so amazing and creative and it's awful that anyone would try to make you feel otherwise! Like your newest OC, Justin Tyme seems like such a lovable dumbass bastard. I love his wild, curly hair and his dapper outfit. I can't wait to see what dumb shit he gets himself into! I know this is really long and rambly, but I hope you know you have fans who genuinely love your work. I don't know if you're still thinking about that one comment you mentioned that got you really down, but honestly, fuck that guy. I don't know what they said but it must have been pure BS to have you doubting your hard earned art skills. I wish I could do more to prove you're awesome and that your fans really admire you, I just hope you don't stop sharing what you love because some rando was nasty for no good reason. Because we love what you do!

It's not like anyone one person nonny so please don't blame yourself. This has been an ongoing thing for a few months actually...

it's just a general thing over all lately like. I mentioned this in dm's with a friend but overall past few months I've had lower engagement overall with my works and it really does a number on my confidence. More so because like your latter point.

yes, I am still very much thinking about that one negative comment. Because that person also has the need to comment on other things and I even had a thing asking why I took a few weeks to update (when reality I posted to another ongoing fic and my TLC chapters are long chapters) and just the fact they could tear into a character (yes it was a comment on a character specifically and not even a main character it's a side character who has an important role for Snatcher's growth as a person down the line) then go saying "why didn't you update" when I posted a double update that week---

Like it lives in my head rent free and I want to literally cry because like the character is a focal in an upcoming chapter and I can't deal with another "why are they back" type thing. because "everyone finds them annoying"

And I'll be honest. it was Kaya. Like I've been trying to have fun with my BCU stuff with her as Spiderking because it's engaging for me and me and @/doodleimprovement even came up with a b-plot involving Kaya and Hattie trying to hook Nell and Marcus together and it's one of the best things as well as Kaya and Nell having a really good relationship.

but because of that one comment it makes me hesitant to do anything with Kaya despite she's one of my oldest ocs, my most thought out ocs and I adore her beyond anything. Like yes she's over powered and such and in TLC rn she comes off as a know it all, but upcoming chapters will show she's just a spacey kid who's trying to fit into a role others decided for her and isn't really as all mighty as she seems. Snatcher even ends up thinking of her as a little sister more than anything. Like fuck I'm even hesitant to share anything on her actual story despite how much work is in it. Like she's my favorite Oc (that's why shes my discord icon, and I'm pretty sure she's my twitter icon as well)

And like the points in the comment just. IDK they didn't fit to her, if anything the points are more suited to be shot at Eclipse.

Which is another thing I just get iffy on. I love RuClipse and everything with it. I love writing and drawing the dorks. But I'm now so afraid if Kaya could be attacked for only showing in a handful of chapters that don't even touch on who she is, when is someone going to finally tell me off on my wolf? who's going to tear into a character I pour a lot of personal shit into to try and comfort myself?

I use Ruclipse to deal with my own romantic heart, they are what I wish I could have so I love to write them, I hurt them but i like to make them happy in the end. Someone who can deal with your highs and lows. No ones perfect but you can still figure it out and love even the negative parts (I am a heavy romantic OTL)

he is in fact a lovable bastard. i have fun plans and he gives me an excuse for why Cel is so tired and having to be the brain cell and how she even wound up working with the time kids when she's so much older than they are. Currently I'm trying to think of how to use him and honestly I think he's gonna wind up hella comic relief fun guy who's just making a mess and do his own side story while Hat and Bow are busy in subcon----

thank you, I don't mind the rambly it kinda gave me a chance to get this off my chest... like I've typed this kinda response up time and time again and I always delete. I feel like I'm whining because I get upset but it's just, I spend so much time making things, I use all my spoons on either working or creating, I just want to know if it means anything but then negativity lives in my head because what's a functioning meat cube??? I try to stay positive but it's hard. Like another thing is Moon Guardian; the reason I haven't updated? because I have had someone bothering me about it. weekly I get asked about how I'm doing on it but it's not from a place of "want to read it" it's because I told them they couldn't post a certain thing until the chapter is done so it feels pressuring to constantly get asked because I feel the only reason they want to post is to boost their thing and I'm just the machine to boost it with my characters and comic.... like it feels they've taken the comic from me and it sucks because I have so many fun things planned. Like I accidentally went off on Nina about a thing with Alpine skyline and Eclipse as well as a thing with a Time Rift and a Jelly ghost.

Sorry kinda went off, just I've sat on this thought train since like early april. I've done my best to ignore it and just keep going but it's gotten really hard with the fact my health hasn't been really great. I've spent a lot of time lately bed bound because I just hurt so badly. if I'm not resting, I'm at my day job which is incredibly stressful rn as I only really work mornings and I see things that are being missed so then i report it and it still gets missed and i can't get it fixed after a point cuz we're back to full service and need the people so I can't nitpick but just.... I'm bitter okay like if I left this shit when I worked I would have gotten yelled at but now we just let it slide??? and this stresses me out which then causes my body to freak out because I'm stressed which puts me in more pain. and then like at work have people acting shocked I have my cane or soemthing and just skfdslkfksdf

so my energy is so tanked. and then the negative comment in my head, no idea if people like things cuz I have no idea if I hear nothing, just has had me doubting why post. Like I should go back to just not posting my stories and sketches or w/e and slink back to my hole like I was before.

idk Its just. a bad night in the house of bun. I've had these thoughts festering and I guess today was the dam breaking. It's probs cuz I'm nervous posting Chimeras because it's a very dark au.

#ask #anon #not art #long post #sorry im just in a bad spot tonight I guess #like i started my day pretty okay but somewhere along the way it nose dived and I'm just trying to not cry in my room

[peanut-in-the-goal]

Would love to read the longer insecure Leo fic day if you feel like finishing it. If not it’s totally cool no pressure or anything. 🙂 I love your writing and all the o’knutzy feels!

hhhh so I wrote this so long ago tbh I don’t think I’m going to finish it

If someone actually wants me to finish it just send in an ask and I’ll try to but as of right now this is about as good as it’s going to get okay? (it could just be the fact that it’s 2am and I don’t wanna hurt leo rn lol) This is just like a v long wip that serves no real purpose. as also characters belong to @lumosinlove 

---

Leo woke up to a cold bed. He sat up, yawning. Blearily he looked around, raising his hands to attempt to rub some of the sleep from his eyes. He leaned over, grabbing his phone from the nightstand, checking for any unread messages from either Logan or Finn. The time read 8:12, far too early for Logan to be awake. Finn, maybe. 

He glanced up, hearing the distinct sound of the toilet flushing before a very tired Logan stumbled out. He laughed, his voice rough with sleep, as Logan came back, falling onto the bed. His hair splayed across his pillow, and his eyes looked up to meet Leo’s.

He raised his arm, grabbing onto Leo’s sleeve, trying to tug him back to bed, lightly. Leo went willingly, curling himself around Logan, who had his head buried in Leo’s chest.

“Mph, stay,” Logan muttered, his eyes already slipping closed, content on sleeping their day away. Leo smiled, placing a soft kiss on the top of Logan’s head. 

“D’accord.” He whispered, they’d find Finn later. It wasn’t unusual for him to go for a run in the morning anyways. Leo laid there, toying with Logan’s hair as he felt him relax completely, soft snores coming from the boy.

He smiled as Logan shifted again, subconsciously pushing himself further into Leo. 

The next time Leo woke up, it was to the front door closing. Logan whined in his sleep, shifting slightly, when the noise woke him. He kept his eyes closed, shuffling closer to Leo and pushing his head further into his pillow. Leo shushes him quietly, waiting for him to go back to sleep. After a moment, he heard Logan’s breath even out again and he sighed in relief. 

He felt someone watching them, looking up, he saw Finn standing in the doorway with a soft smile playing at his lips. Leo beckoned him over, silently telling him to come back to the bed, with a small nod with his head. Finn smiled but shook his head.

 “I’m all sweaty,” he whispered. Which was true, it was evident he had just come back from his morning run. “I’m going to go shower.” He spoke softly, mostly not to wake Logan, and removed his airpods. 

Leo nodded, glancing at the clock, 8:56 am, before burying his face back into Logan’s hair. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Once again, he lets the sleep take over, relaxing them as they waste their day away.

It’s not long before he feels the bed dip behind him, and Finn’s warm body and wet hair lay along his back. His smile lingered on his lips, turning to kiss Finn softly, before finally letting the sleep take over, knowing his two boys were safe, there with him.

Nothing. Honestly, nothing happened. He was fine, the day had gone perfect. He didn’t have practice and got to spend the day sleeping with his boys. He was happy, he was so so happy. 

But why was that familiar dread settling in his chest? Why did he feel like it was wrong, everything he was doing was wrong with that nagging feeling telling him he wasn’t good enough? He shifted, which made Logan stir and look up at him with his wide green eyes blinking up blearily at him.

Leo tried to shush him and get him to go back to sleep, but Logan had seen his sad face, and before he knew it Logan was sitting up, looking at him concerned. 

“Peanut? Vas tu bien?” he asks, searching Leo’s face for something that tells him what’s wrong. Leo opened and closed his mouth, before taking a shaky breath.

“Je vais bien, C’est bon.” He hates the way his voice wavered at the end, cracking slightly. Logan’s eyes softened, taking Leo’s face into his hands.

“Knutty,” he mumbled. He placed a soft kiss to his forehead, then his nose, then both his cheeks before finally landing one on his lips. Leo tried to smile, he really did, but he couldn’t keep it up for long. 

Logan stretched out his arms, letting Leo lean into him as he hugged him close.

This time a small smile actually did ghost Leo’s lips. Logan and Finn always knew how to help him, even if they didn’t use words to communicate. He doesn’t know how long they sat there, with Logan holding him as he tried to ignore the voices in his head nagging at him. Telling him he wasn’t good enough, that he didn’t deserve their love. 

He isn’t even sure when the tears started slipping down his cheeks, but they must have because he felt Logan hugging him tighter. Leo goes to apologize, for being such a mess and for crying. But he can’t even get the words out before he feels a warm weight fall against his back and a pair of strong arms wrapping around his shoulders.

“Mph,” Finn mutters, his voice groggy and rough with sleep as he buries his face in Leo’s neck. Leo sniffs, trying to stop his tears before Finn notices. But Finn hears with his head being so close to Leo’s and his head snaps up. He takes in the tear stains on his cheeks and the damp spot on Logan’s shirt.

And it happens so quickly, where Finn has climbed off his back and is sitting in front of him, raking his finger through Leo’s hair.

“Baby?” He asks, not exactly knowing what's going on, but was definitely not expecting to wake up to Leo crying. “What’s wrong, what happened? Are you okay, are you hurt? Did we do something? Are you...” He trailed off, watching Leo shake his head frantically instead of answering his questions.

Finn quietens down, letting Leo get his thoughts into words, to explain what's wrong so Finn can hold him, and take care of him, because he loves him so, so much and it kills him a little more when Leo starts to slip. He’s right there, he's right there, but he seems so far away. It feels like Leo is slipping through his fingers, and Finn is so scared that one day he won’t be able to grasp on and pull him back in.

That he’ll lose the funny and smart man, that he’ll let the depression take over. He’s scared he’ll stop fighting it and he’ll drift. He’ll drift and become a shell, and he can’t count how many times he’s fallen asleep crying into Logan's arms because he doesn’t want to lose him.

He can’t lose him. 

And he barely hears the muttered apology escape from Leo’s lips, and he would have if he weren’t so hyper-aware of everything Leo was doing. Waiting for the hitched breath that showed he couldn’t hold it back anymore, and Finn could pull him into his arms until he cried himself back to sleep, and Logan went to make some tea and order take out.

Because everyone knows that they can’t cook, and they don’t need to add to Leo’s stress by making him help clean it up. He just needs them by his side, ready to help him, to show him the love that brought him together.

And Finn hates that Leo feels this way, that he isn’t good enough. He hates that Leo tries to push them away, that he thinks he’s a burden and a nuisance. They’ve learned the best way to help him over the past few months have caught up to him. 

The recent news of his father's sickness, with playoffs right around the corner. Loops pulling Kasey from the next couple of games for the pulled hamstring. It was too much, it proved too much when it started pushing Leo.

They could see it happening, Leo waking up earlier to hit the gym before practice, staying late after to add in some more training. The need that he had to feel good enough, to feel like he had to prove something because of his age. That broke both Logans and Finn's heart watching him work and work and work. Draining himself, when he couldn’t see how good he really was.

Leo was fidgeting with the duvet on the bed, pulling at the loose, frayed string on the end. He sniffed, once, then twice, before the dam broke. He angrily tried to wipe away at the tears rolling down his cheeks, biting his lip to try and clench the sobs that were bubbling up. But he couldn’t, he was fighting a losing battle and was giving in. 

They acted on instinct, Finn catching Leo as he fell into his chest, the heart wrenching sobs ripping themselves from his throat. Finn embraced him, holding him tightly, never going to be ready to let go. Logan moved to his side, rubbing his back, placing a kiss to his temple and his cheek every few minutes. 

“Désolé, Je suis désolé, I’m sorry,” Leo sobbed. 

He hates being like this, feeling useless, so utterly vulnerable. The way he was falling apart, with too many thoughts rushing through his head. His heart was beating erratically, his breaths uneven and shallow. He grasped onto Finn’s shirt, knuckles turning white as his hands shook with the material in between his fingers. His lips trembled, the oxygen seemingly impossible to get to his lungs.

Finn hugged tighter, whispering in his ear.

“Baby, don’t apologize. Never apologize for this. I just want to be there for you, we both do. Let us be there for you. Knutty, baby, we’d cross oceans for you.” 

Logan nodded in agreement, delivering another kiss into his blonde curls. Leo let it sink it, not exactly believing it, but hoping that maybe, it could be true. 

He fell asleep there, the tears track drying on his cheeks.

That last thing he heard was Logans whispered, “I love you,” before he let the darkness take over.

Leo could feel his breath picking up, the inward panic settling in his chest. He wasn’t sure why this affected him so much. He huffed, wiping at his eyes angrily where he could feel the tears forming. 

“Baby?” He heard the door creak open, Finn’s voice calling over all the voices in his head. He wasn’t sure why it was hitting him so hard right now. He knew he had depression, he had it since he was young. He would scoff at himself when he let it win, feeling utterly useless, and wanting to do better.

He felt like nothing he did was enough. Not enough for him, or his parents, or for Finn and Logan. 

The bed dipped beside him, feeling Finn’s warm hand cupping his cheeks, and turning his face towards him. Finn made a confused noise, whipping at the tears rolling down Leo’s cheeks.

He hadn’t even realized they fell. He just felt so numb.

“I brought you some food,” he said softly, like if he said it any louder it would’ve broken him. And quite honestly, it probably would have. Days like this, it made him feel horrible when Finn and Logan had to bring him food, or water, or do anything for him that he should be able to do himself. 

He gave Finn a wavering smile in return, which slipped off his face as quickly as it appeared. Gosh, why did he feel like such a fuck up? He took the plate from Finn, placing it in front of him on the bed. 

Finn and Logan knew he wouldn’t be able to stomach anything rich right now. Even then, the toast on the plate seemed absolutely revolting right now, just the thought of food made him nauseous.

#see i didn't finish #gg writes #GG writes shitty stuff

[ray-jaykub]

I’m sad but I’m not sure why, so let’s give me something to make me sad👉👈🥺. How would the best bois act/feel/do when they find out they can’t have kids with their s/o? Like something heart wrenching sad 🍂

Uhm im not very good with sad stuff so im probably gonna revert to happy endings because even though im depressed rn im just kinda not able to. Im sorry if michelangelo or donnie seemed rushed im jist in a funk today

Leonardo:

•Pretty sure his stomach had dropped when Donnie had told you both

•Leo is obviously sad, he's near devestated but he feels that right now he needs to focus on you being ok and understanding

•Leonardo doesn't want to leave you groping in the dark because of this. He's determined there are other ways for you both to have something close to similar

•So he gets you to apply for an adoption program

•Knows there's a very small chance of you being accepted as just a single mother but when you come running to him with the paperwork leo will be near sobbing

•A precious baby boy, only 3 years old, is now smiling up at him and leo knows that even if you can't make a baby you can still have one who needs you just as much

Raphael:

•Not going to beat around the bush, Raphael is really pissed with himself. He just thinks and thinks and thinks about how you could have had a completely normal life if he hadn't had butted in

•You need to be there for him and make sure he knows that you aren't going anywhere. Y'all both take it hard and need to realize that this is niether of you guyses fault.

•It's been only a month now and Raphael will catch himself thinking about it on the rooftops when he hears someone's baby crying. Then he realizes how close the crying is and peering down he sees a tired looking man putting the baby down in a box in the alley, looking left to right, then sprinting off.

•Raphael doesn't know why he did it. Why he picked up the baby girl and took it to you. But, just the way you smiled and held them in your arms was enough for him. The sweet child with hair like gold grabbing onto his fingers finally stopped crying

Donatello:

•He's the one who figures out before you. Tearing up when he had to tell you. Really it was hard figuring out for himself

•Donnie believes that you both need to talk about it. Let the other know what they need to know or hear what they need to hear so you can help eachother.

•One night he sits straight up from bed, waking you up and he asks real soft if you could possibly go to a doning hospital. You were relunctent especially since you didn't want this to affect Don but after the much reassurance over the fact that he just wanted a family, you finally caved in.

•The baby would be able to go to school and get a job and be happy. That was all he really wanted was a happy child and finally after the tortuos waiting for you at the hospital you came down and gave him his baby boy. Donatello nearly crumbled with joy

Michelangelo:

•Mikey didn't understand what you meant by not being able to have kids. Why not? He wpuld ask and you'd just get this sad look in your eye and have hus brother explain it to him. He doesn't outright cry or get angry he just kinda looks at the ground and goes "oh"

•Tries not to think about it, y'know just thinks the problem will go away after sometime but it's the same result everytime. Negative. He would get a look of defeat but smile and console you that it was ok and that it didn't matter. Of course it mattered.

•He had gotten the route for patrol downtown one night after alot of complaining as corporal punishment. The place was dingy and smelly, the streets here were no place for happy people. Then he saw it. A toddler flailing, trying to get away from this grown ass man that smelt as awful as the streets. Michelangelo dropped down from the rooftop in an act of intimidation. The man pailing at the sight of him had dropped the baby on it's bottom and ran.

•He checked the baby over, turning it all sorts of ways which caused it to giggle and then he was giggling. Two cheeky faced boys giggling in the abandoned streets would have been an odd sight. Coming up short when checking for a name or where he could have came from, he took the thing in overalls to donnie. After some intense background research they realized this was a foster child. The baby vanished and he nearly panicked but then found you cradling the dirty kid making silly faces and he teared up at the sight.

#Tmnt x reader #Teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader #Leonardo x reader #Raphael x reader #Donatello x reader #Michelangelo x reader #Children #tw: innability to have children #Headcannons

[justsomefluff]

Good Morning with Ateez

Summary: the title pretty much explains it all lmao

A/N: Sorry that I haven’t been writing! School has been crazy with everything going on, and I have to work as well. Hopefully, I will be able to write more in the coming weeks.

*Members after Joong are below the cut*

Hongjoong: 

ok, waking up in the morning with joongie is wild

If he wakes up first, he’s all giggly

bugging you

kissy kissy all over your face

he’s practically on top of you 

it’s not that he wants to get up or anything, he just prefers when you are awake at the same time

“Let me sleep, Joongie”

“but iM LONELY”

If you’re really tired though he’s gonna be cute with you and let you sleep all you want

he will just lay with you and stroke your hair and kiss your hands and ugh im soft

BUT

if you wake up first

he expects the same

so, if you wake him up with anything other than smooches he’s gonna whine and complain so much

“GIMME KISS”

“no, you have morning breath”

“so what you're saying is you hate me”

SO dramatic

if you manage to slip out of bed before he can trap you

he will jump out of bed and latch onto you

LEECH

tries to steal your energy through his hugs

but overall a cute bb who likes a calm, sweet wakeup with his love

Seonghwa:

(THIS GIF I CANT BREATHE)

So, our precious baby Seonghwa

ALWAYS awake before you

like how does he do it???

why does he do it???

whenever he wakes up, he’ll kinda check on you a little bit

make sure you’re in a comfortable position, give you a kiss and all that

but then he’ll slip out before you wake up??

rude.

And then you wake up and you're kinda grumpy bc why would he leave you cold and alone when you could be cuddling rn

when you find him, he’s halfway through making you breakfast

and that makes up for it

he always tries to do things for you to make your mornings easier

It’s his way of making up for all the things he can’t do for you while he’s working

When he notices that you're awake omigod the biggest smile

Will deadass abandon his cooking to come give you a squeeze

your eyebrows are all furrowed and you’re pouting and you're hair is just the worst but he’s so in love with you, you big dork

Gives you a kiss and then makes you sit down

serves you breakfast, all proud

if it’s something he doesn't normally make, he will watch you take the first bite and cross his fingers that you like it

which you always do

Mornings with him will pretty much always be domestic and sweet

Yunho:

McSquishy

When he wakes up, his cheeks go poof

anyway you usually wake up before him on your days off

but he will wake up soon after you

it’s like he senses that you're awake and wants to join in on the party

so when he wakes up, he feels you stretching and wiggling around

Will make fun of you if you make any of those awkward stretching noises

“UGHHHHH AHHH”

like hush leave me alone

isn’t hard to wake up but he will 100% drag you out of bed as soon as he can

mostly because he wants food

if you don’t get up right away he’ll just make you

like the recent video where he just picks up San and moves him? Yeah exactly

will also do that weird shimmy dance he did in that video too just to show you how excited he is

like a golden retriever no lie

so excited to be with you all the time

“Baby, let’s go” “baby, let’s eat” *smoochies*

and you just kinda let him drag you all over the place because he’s cute

isn’t one for morning cuddles in bed, but will still make you sit on his lap during breakfast and stuff just to have you close

cute squish who just wants to be loved aw

Yeosang:

clingy baby right here

Will probably wake up before you

but he’s not totally there yet, you know?

like his eyes are open but he’s dead

kinda flounders for a second trying to find you in the bed

when he does, he’s sticking to you and not letting go

probably falls asleep again because he’s so comfy and warm

so, it’s up to you to wake up before both of you sleep through the day

he’s usually pretty happy when he wakes up

lots of sleepy smiles

nuzzling into you like crazy

even though he’s groggier than you, he will be the first to get up

probably to pee or something idk he just needs to move

eager to start the day

If you’re still in bed 5 minutes after he gets up he’s gonna judge you

“How dare you let me start our day together by MYSELF”

when you do get up, all is forgiven

the kind of person who likes to go out for breakfast rather than cook it at home

it’s not that he can’t, he just doesn’t want to lmao

always excited to dress up a little bit with you for breakfast dates

the perfect beginning to your day together imo

San:

SO WHINY

obviously you’re gonna have to be the one to wake him up

waking up is San’s least favorite part of the day

will trap you in bed for the entire day if you let him

“San, I know you’re tired but we slept ‘til noon”

“Let’s make it 2:00″

literally goes through the 7 stages of grief when he wakes up

Denial: “not morning yet, bye”

Guilt: “I’m so lazy”

Bargaining: “BABY, two more hours, it’ll be great”

Depression: “they started the day without me and I’m lonely”

Upward Turn: “maybe I feel a little more awake now”

Working Through: “ok I can do this, just one more stretch”

Acceptance: “Im up”

Like finally

definitely likes morning cuddles though so if you didn't give him at least that, then he’s gonna hate you for the day

loves starting his day with you and if you don't help him wake up the way he wants

Grumpy baby all day

just snuggle him dammit

Mingi:

ok so he’s not waking up I don't care

when Mingi sleeps, he’s comatose okay

until he has a genuine reason to get up, he is parked

likes to cuddle, but not gonna sacrifice sleep for it

so, if you get up and start your day, whatever he’ll stay

like he’ll ask you to stay and cuddle but he isn’t gonna have enough energy to argue with you over it lmao

you deadass need jumper cables to get him started

if he has to get up to pee or something minor, he will try to do it without you noticing so he can go back to sleep

“SONG MINGI, I SEE YOU”

“NO” and then he sprints back to bed

cue wrestling in bed because once he is fully awake he can’t sit still

like you’re trying to get him up and, while he’s awake now, he just wants to make your life a little harder

pulling you under the covers and everything while you're begging him to come eat with you

he will eventually give in because food

but with him, you kind of just have to let him wake up on his own

if you want to get him started that’s fine, but it prolly won’t help lmao

let him sleep, he’ll figure it out

Wooyoung:

Wooyoungie babyyyyy

When I wake up in the morning...it’s not as sexy as you think

contrary to popular belief, Woo does not wake up sexily

he wakes up friggin adorable

when you wake up first, he just makes you cuddle him until he’w ready to get up, no arguments

but if he wakes up first, he’s wiggling all over the place

another one who just cant sit still 

will stretch and bounce and just be a nuisance until you get up too

he will definitely smack you in the face when he’s stretching and then just laugh when you glare at him

when really he should fear for his life like you did not just wake me up by SMACKING ME

but will definitely be kissing you everywhere because he always says he wants to start his day by seeing you smile

cheeseball fr

also he’s loud

in case you didn't know

“JAGIYA WAKE UPPPPPP”

“SHHHHHHHHHH WOOYOUNGAH”

but his volume is contagious and then you're both yelling and its insane

but then you're both giggling and kissing and hugging and its a good morning because

no time spent with Wooyoung is wasted

Jongho:

(How could I not use this gif I mean really)

Jongho is so hard to wake up

like at least Mingi will wake up to shoo you away

but Jongho physically cannot

You could squeeze an air horn by his face and he wouldn't even flinch

basically he’s a heavy sleeper

But as you have more sleepovers, you’ll figure out a way to wake him up more effectively

whatever your method may be, he will be smiling as soon as he opens his eyes

always excited to see you

bc he’s a sweet baby

will make you hug him for a little bit and he’ll kiss your head

after a little bit he’ll sigh and be like “okay”

that’s when you know you can both get up

will follow you around and do pieces of his routine as you do yours

you're almost totally in sync its kinda creepy

but then he will offer to help you make breakfast and always lets you pick what you want to make

just soft for you in general and he’d give you the world

hell, he’s definitely strong enough

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fluff #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #fanfiction #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios

[princessrainbows]

Genuine Laughter

Title: Genuine Laughter

Warnings: Mentions of; Depression, Suicidal thoughts/attempts(maybe?) Alcohol intake. (The reader is the depressed one out of the paring!!) Mention of the reader’s Quirk being Teleportation. Ends with fluff

Words: 2k+

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write something for a while now. Seeing so many of the Keigo x reader blogs that I currently follow rn, has hugely inspired me to write up a small drabble!

Paring(s): Keigo Takami | Hawks x Fem! Reader

--------------------------------------------

             Depression is like battling a 200 foot Dragon every day. It’s not something so easy to overcome. Many people don’t even know when  somebody they know have depression whenever it’s brought up in a conversation.

They’ll think that everything is fine and dandy, and that the person who mentioned the mental illness is trying to find attention when, in reality...They just want to be loved, cared for, and helped. They don’t want their thoughts to be true, they want to be saved from them.

So, when you, ever so casually, mentioned that you felt like dying one day to Keigo, it caught him off guard. It really bothered him that somebody  so smart and so powerful just...Wanted to give it all up. “Hey hey, what’s the matter dove? Something bothering you” He asked, noticing that you where....Off, and have been for a long while now that he thought about it.

       That night stuck with you. The fact that he picked up on your casual self-loathing habits of talking about death so casually like that, surprised you to say the least. Most of the time, people around you would either scoff or just ignore you, or Meme your mental illness, thinking that’s what you wanted to do since, that’s what you’d always do to hide the pain you felt all the time.

Being a hero isn’t that easy. Especially with a quirk as powerful as your own, your in constant demand all the time. Always teleporting everywhere to save people and give back-up to pro-hero’s who need it. And now that you where sought out by The Commission people who raised Hawks, you’ve become his body guard so to speak. Sure, he might be fast, but, you can match up in speed thanks to your quirk.

So, not only are you in high demand, you never get to catch a break! Hell, you didn’t even want the spotlight! So, this made you start becoming depressed. You where so busy all the time. You barely got any real decent rest, you hardly have time to yourself for a nice bubble bath, or read a cool book.

You did your best to hide everything from everybody. You’d play it off and fake-laugh with people that would question whether or not you where really okay or mentally sane at the time of the conversation/interaction.

         But, you didn’t take into account for Hawks noticing it. He noticed everything. He noticed your facial expression visibly changing with every minute of the day depending on your mood. He’d notice the way you’d get snippy at different people if you’d woken up to a particularly bad mental day for you. He EVEN noticed that one day when you locked yourself up in your bedroom at his place around 8:30pm at night. He heard your weak sobs underneath the blanket.

The man was like a Dog with his hearing. he heard and saw everything. But, he knew that if he asked, you’d joke it off and turn down his help.

It wasn’t until when things got REALLY bad for you was when he stepped in and demanded that you explained everything to him. You had three drinks that night after poppin’ in quite a lot of Tylenol pills for your severe Migraine you where having that same day. You just wanted it to stop so you could be Okay for once.

After some prying, you finally told him what’s been happening. You told him that you’ve been battling with Depression and your Suicidal thoughts for the past several months. You even mentioned that your PTSD was starting to act up again, which just made things worse for you in the end.

He didn’t show any emotion. he just...Stared at you, in pure shock. You’ve been battling this battle by yourself this entire time that the two of you have been seeing each other, you’ve kept EVERYTHING to yourself until you blew up and tried ending it all.

It terrified him. He didn’t do anything out of worry that he might make it worse for you, but also, he felt like he should have done something, ANYTHING to have helped! “...Oh god........I’m so sorry” was all that he could really say before you passed out from being so damn tired, drunk, and dizzy from the Tylenol pills you took that day. Falling right into his lap, all he did was let you stay there and fall asleep.

------------------------------------------

             That happened two months ago. You never really FULLY changed but, you noticed that you weren’t as bad as you where back then. Actually, you made a little chart marking down the Really Bad Days, from the Good/Okay days, and you’ve never had a single Really Bad Day since then. You’re days from two months ago to now have just been Meh/Okay and sometimes, even Good!

Today was different for you. When you woke up, it was around 11am, you felt...Light. Like as if you where floating in the air. But, it wasn’t a bad feeling by any means! Which lifted your spirits up quite a bit.

You reach to your cell phone and check your stuff, ignoring the majority of it except for Keigo’s messages (and selfies) and your Boss’ message, which woke you right out of bed! You blinked at it with your glasses on and notice a message from him: [”You’ve been invited to a Pro-Hero exclusive Gathering. Along with Hawks, Endervour, and many others. Dress nicely, and behave.”] Blinking several times, you groaned, falling back on the bed with an arm over your eyes, pouting in annoyance, “I hate fancy parties...” you sighed out loud.

Today was a really good day for you and your mental state. You weren’t smiling by any means but, you weren’t frowning either. You did your usual routine before heading out to work, since you’re with the Commission now and not some Hero agency, you’ve been given permission to have your own schedule (with the help from Hawks so that way he could keep an eye on you of course.)

“---And since I’m in a good mood today....I’ll give you a minute of a head start to try and run.” You say before grinning as you watched the group of bad guys try and flee with the stolen loot from the local store you where shopping at for a Brunch. “Too Slow..” You commented, teleporting right in front of them, grabbing the enemies uniforms and rolling your eyes as they tried running.

The police where called, and you where thanked for your efforts, “Wow! You look happy today y/n! Something happened?” The officer noticed your mood and commented on it, you shrugged, giving a slight chuckle, “Nothing in particular! I just feel good today that’s all~” you cheered before waving them off, seemingly having left them dumbfounded by your response.

           You had a really good day of just, doing whatever you wanted! Holding your drink in your hand with a small snack in the bag in your other hand, you walked by a clothing store with several outfits in the window. You noticed a very nice looking dress with a paired Tuxedo beside it, shrugging you walked into the store, you DID need a dress for tonight’s Por-Hero exclusive Gathering after all! Even if they weren’t your favorite thing to wear.

“Hi there miss! Welcome to our store! is there anything that I can do for you?” You where greeted by a worker who wore a very nice business suit, you took a pause from your drinking and looked at her outfit, “Actually...Yeah. Can I ask where you got that outfit? See, I’m heading to a fancy ball and stuff...But, I’m not that much of a Fancy Dress type of person.” You replied, gesturing your jaw at her outfit, as to not point since that would’ve been rude.

“Oh sure! We actually just recently added these types of outfits to out store so, we’d be happy to have a pro-hero wear one!....You are Pro-Hero Y/N correct?” You nodded in response, sipping on your drink. You followed the business woman to the stores selection and looked around...The shop was nice despite how cold it was.

It didn’t take you that long to find what you wanted. Coming out of the change room in front of the business woman, you stood there with a blows, a nice pair of black work pants, fancy black shoes, and a nice jacket to cover yourself with. Once you changed out of it and went to the cash, you purchased the outfit and thanked the woman for the help.

           You returned home with your now, not so hot Brunch and outfit in tow, getting ready for the fancy ball party for tonight while eating at the same time. You weren’t positive that you were going to have a good night but hey, you where invited! You couldn’t say no! Especially since you where in a good mood, you figured ‘eh, why not? Keigo’s gonna be there anyways so~’ and went with it.

A few hours had past, and it was time for the gathering. You rode in a somewhat fancy vehicle to the location of the party. Getting out of the car, you could already tell that eyes where on you. You ignored them, and thanked the driver and went into the building.

Using the elevator, you went up to the highest floor, which was a party room dedicated to pro-hero’s and their parties. You were slightly nervous since your mental state was still...Not exactly the best but, a lot better than a couple months ago. Putting those thoughts aside, you walked into the entrance area. You saw two doors both opened with two guards there, one stopped you and looked down, “Ma’am, this is a Pro-Hero party. Please show proof that you’ve been invited or we’ll have to remove you from the premise.” You sighed in annoyance, knowing that the guy was just doing his job. You pulled out your Hero License and showed it to him. He nodded and allowed you in.

Walking into the main area, you stood in awe, ‘They really went all out huh?’ You thought to yourself, staring up at the fancy decorations that seemed to blend in well with everything else in the room. You took in the atmosphere, not used to the Party life At All, staring off into the area as you listened to the soft music playing on the small stage area. “Wow! I didn’t think you’d show up of all people!” You hear a familiar voice from a loud woman behind you. Her grin was wide and she was excited to see more people coming to the party, “Yeah....The Commission had invited me over. I’m assuming it’s to keep an eye on hawks since he’s been invited as well...” You automatically noticed the wingless man near the farthest end, standing beside Endervour, laughing it up with the small group that gathered there for the night.

“...You know y/n. Most of the public knows your not a party person. Just imagine the press when they get a hold of this! ‘Y/N seen at a fancy Galla ball with Pro-Hero Hawks by her side!’ haha, they’ll get a good scoop for that one~” She chuckled, patting you on the back shoulders gently before walking towards the crowd giving them a wave. You groaned...You really hate the media being in your face all the time. So, something like this would DEFINITELY, be a pain in the ass to deal with.

----------------------------------------------------

                 The party continued on for the night, you talked and hung out with everybody at the party. You also did your job and reported to your boss at what was happening with Hawks, telling them that he was behaving well and having a blast. Once you sent in the report, you decided to spend the rest of the night with Keigo, walking up to the small group of pro-hero’s that he was telling a story too. “---And even tho I was trying to make the poor woman laugh, safe it to say, that didn’t help my situation at all. it just made the other’s more angry--” The group chuckled with him, and you just rolled your eyes.

The party went on like this for hours. By the time you where ready to go back home, it was around 12am. You and Keigo spent the last hour going home. He was just a tad bit drunk and a little bit silly as well, trying to handle him when he’s a bit drunk was hard but, you somehow managed.

“Hey.....Hey y/n....” He mumbled, trying his best to keep what little composure that he had left. “Yes Kei?” You asked, grunting while you placed him on your couch, grinning, he pulled you down into a cuddle, you didn’t mind it at all. Since you were quite tired from the party, having been out for a long time on your feet for the most part.

Keigo wasn’t really talking per say. He was mumbling random words in between some cute sweet nothings to you as he held you close to him. “Hey...y/n?.....” He whispered in your ear, first telling you how much he loved you...And then, telling you a silly joke that was, actually pretty funny! You couldn’t help but snicker then laugh in his chest, burying your face in it, you snorted off and on until you could breathe from the laughing again.

Keigo blinked in surprise. he managed to make you laugh.....Like, genuinely laugh at one of his jokes. He didn’t put any thought into it at all, he just went with it, and that made you laugh until you snort-laughed in his chest.

           This made your night. Just that one time with Keigo on the couch, making you laugh. You felt at ease, happy, even safe. You don’t want to forget this night, you want to cherish it for the rest of your life.

With Keigo being your partner, your depression and suicidal thoughts where a little bit easier to handle. Because you were no longer by yourself dealing with them anymore. You had Keigo to help. And you knew that this man would do anything to make your life, a little less painful to deal with.

#Uhhhh oops? #This wasn't supposed to be so long lmao? #hawks x Reader #hawks x y/n #depression mention #suicidal thoughts mention #attempt of suicide mention #I didn't get a beta reader bc I still wanna practice on my own before I get to that point #Mind you...If I do fanfictions like this. it won't be all the time.

[jpegjade]

Void - Spencer

I’ve weighed whether or not to put this one out there. i’ve spent a day just sitting on it, editing, and rewriting some parts. i decided to put this out there bc i realize that i have friends here who go through the same things i do and it might help them. so to all my friends out there, old, new, or the ones i have yet to meet, i’m sorry we’re in this but i’m happy we’re in this together. 

Warnings: Okay so i will say this now and i mean it: if you are struggling with depression and feel uncomfortable during any point in this fic, do. not. read. the. rest. i tried to scale back a little bit bc i wrote it when i was having a really bad time (and probably still having that time rn lmao) so i didn’t include details and it’s a little bit ambiguous but it’s dealing with a hard topic: hopelessness and suicidal ideation. like i said, nothing graphic and no details but it is suggestive and real. so no fluff. 

__________________

The world is such a dark fucking place. There’s nothing good in the world. There’s nothing good for you to experience anymore. The world was a dark, tar colored hell. 

Nothing brought you joy. You could fake it so well on the surface, pretending the world was in color for you. The only colors you experienced were void of emotion, void of feeling, just void. The world around you was void of joy, happiness. There was nothing you wanted more than to escape. Any version of a sweet release would be perfectly fine. Something that you could deal with, some way to deal with the world. 

“Hey.” Spencer said, bringing you out of your thought bubble haze. He walked through the door, gripping his satchel.

“Hmm? Hey baby.” You plastered a fake smile on your face just for him. 

Spencer knew you were going through a rough time but he didn’t know exactly how bad it was. He didn’t know you had written notes for each of your family members and Spencer. He didn’t know that you thought about the easiest way to go, what required the most courage and the least amount of energy. He didn’t know you were scared to leave. 

“You look tired. Have you had a nap today?” He said, leaning down to give you a kiss on the cheek. 

“No, I’m okay. Just tired in general, I guess.” You said, watching him put his bag down. 

He came over to sit next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him. He smelled like fall. You wondered if you would miss that, if you would miss him. Would you miss anything?

“Well, maybe we can relax together? Take a nap, watch a movie?” He looked down at you, stone faced as ever. 

“Yeah, maybe.” You said, staring off into the distance. Everything seemed to be off in the distance for you, all of it. The future, the past, now. It all seemed so far away from you. The world seemed so far away from you. 

“Are you okay? You don’t seem like you’re all the way here.” Spencer said, kissing the top of your head. 

“I’m just tired. Maybe I will take that nap with you.” You put on another fake smile, getting up to get something to drink from the kitchen. Everything was so exhausting, even Spencer. 

You hated that you felt that way. You loved Spencer with every part of you, you never wanted to let him go. But you just wanted to take off, go somewhere, escape. That’s all you thought about: escaping. 

“Hey, y/n? I’m going to get changed out of these clothes.” Spencer called, hoping you heard him. In one ear and out the other, just like everything else he said lately. 

You always felt so bad when it came to Spencer. He didn’t ask for this. He didn’t deserve to go through this. You didn’t want him to deal with you anymore but any time you brought it up to him, he promised you weren’t a burden. He always promised you weren’t a burden but you knew, deep down, that he was lying. He was lying to you in exchange for your lies to him, pretending you’re happy when you’re miserable. The two of you were lying to each other and to yourselves. He knew you weren’t okay but wanted to believe otherwise. You knew Spencer was attached to you but you pretended he was detached from your relationship. 

“Baby? Come lay with me?” Spencer called, being needy. You loved when he was needy when you felt well. When you were feeling good, you loved the fact that he was open to show a type of emotion, even after all he went through. 

“Only for a little while.” You called back, downing half a glass of water really quickly. 

You climbed into bed, curling into his lap in bed. He liked when he could hold you just as much as he liked being held. You sat there silently, annoyed with the fact that anyone was touching you right now. All you wanted was to disappear. 

“Can we talk?” Spencer mumbled. 

“Yeah, sure.” You really did try to sound upbeat but in the end, you weren’t able to do it. 

“How are you really doing? And please don’t lie... “ Spencer said, sighing. 

“Spence…” You just wanted everything to go away, just like this conversation. 

“Look, I know I can’t fix this. I have been looking for ways to make this better for you because you are suffering and I see it every day. I can’t… I don’t know how to stop it and I’m scared that you’re going to do something that I really can’t fix.” He said, slowly. 

“There’s no way to stop this.” You said, flatly. “You can’t stop it and neither can I. I’m beyond help. The meds don’t work. The therapy doesn’t work. The coping mechanisms dont fucking work and I’m so damn tired.” You said all that without emotion and it scared Spencer. 

These days, you scared Spencer more than any murderer did. His greatest fear was losing you and he fought to keep his head straight because he knew he had you. All this time, he knew he had you and it was terrifying him to think that you could be gone today, tomorrow, the day after that and he couldn’t do a thing to stop it. Could he?

“You can’t leave… Not like this…” Spencer said, trying to rack his brain of different responses that might help you. He couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t selfish, on his part. 

Everything he had to say was selfish. It was all about how he didn’t want you to go, how he would feel, how he would be affected when you were gone. Everything he thought of was about him and that frustrated him. He just wanted to help you, not try to guilt you into anything by making it about how he feels but… 

“Spencer, there’s no point. Okay? There’s no point in going through the motions anymore. I am in so much pain on the inside, nothing fills it. I am so tired. I feel alone constantly. I feel like there’s nothing left for me here. I am broken. I am broken. I am broken.” You started crying but you weren’t sure why. 

Spencer just pulled you close to him, feeling your body shaking. He couldn’t tell if it was anger or sadness or if you were just cold but your body wasn’t still. 

You tried to get up, get away from him, run, but he held you tighter. You just wanted to get out of that room, get out of your skin, get out of existence but Spencer wouldn’t let you. He just held you close and rubbed your back. 

“I can’t make you stay. I can’t give you this fake positivity. I won’t guilt you into staying. If you want to do this, it’s ultimately up to you. But what I can do is tell you that I love you. I loved you when I got to know you. I love you now. I will love you no matter what you decide to do.” Spencer said. He sounded so fragile, like he was going to break at any moment. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, Spence.” You said, numbly. “All I know is that I can’t live like this. I can’t survive like this. I wasn’t built to survive this and I’m so scared of what comes next…” 

There was a silence and you heard Spencer sniffle. He was truly at a loss for words. How could he miss that it was this bad? He was a profiler. He knew that everyone had an end game but he couldn’t tell if your endgame was leaving him or not, leaving this world or not. So he just sniffled and stayed quiet, trying to hold everything back. 

“Spencer?” 

“Hmm?” He responded, nervous. 

“What’s the easiest way to go? I’ve done research but… I wanted to ask my smartass boyfriend.” You chuckled and it turned sour. It wasn’t funny but it was a reflex. 

“Can we please not talk about this? I want to help you get better. I want to use all my energy trying to figure out how to help you feel like living is worth it. I don’t want to think about finding you…” Spencer’s voice caught in his throat. 

“Would you miss me?” You whispered, staring blankly at the wall feet in front of you. 

“Y/n…” Spencer paused. Your automatic thought was that he was going to pull bullshit out of his ass so you could feel better. You sighed, prepared for something generic. 

“You don’t realize the effect you have on people, on me. The world is so dark to you because you are a beacon of light. You are the lighthouse in everyone’s storm. That’s why everyone comes to you, looking for hope. You are a shining light and everyone sees it but you. Your world is dark because you look out and see nothing but the darkness, nothing but the storm.” 

Spencer’s breath wavered and you felt his thumb start moving across your thigh. He was nervous and fidgety, hoping he said the right words. 

“I miss you every moment I leave for work. I miss you on trips. I miss you at the office. I miss you whenever you’re not holding my hand. I miss you when you’re at work, when you can’t talk to me. I miss you. So yes, I would miss you if you weren’t here for me to come home to. And I know that might be comforting for a moment but at the end of the day, it’s not about me. It has never been about me. This is about whether or not you have the will to stay, whether or not you want to be here.” Spencer’s heart raced. 

“I guess you’re right.” You said, growing tired. You had a lot to think about.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid angst

[kittybellestark]

It’s Like Falling From The Sky

Hi I’m exhausting and things suck rn so i wrote this 

I know this is coming out but I really can’t promise that I’ll be able to be very active on here with everything going on with my Dad. 

If you have mad e a fic request I am working on it have no fears I have not forgotten I just needed to write out my emotions so I’m sorry.

I’ll get this on AO3 in the next few days

TW: Flashbacks, Minor Character Deaths, Re-Visiting Peter’s Traumas, Depression, Probably Disassociation.

-

Peter remembers. He hated remembering this. He couldn’t even talk to other people about this. Well, he probably could, but he wasn’t supposed to. 

Dr. Josh said so. 

He didn’t like Dr. Josh very much. He was there when it happened. Dr. Josh went through the same thing Peter did. Sometimes Dr. Josh still came to visit Peter up until the time Skip happened. Dr. Josh was there for Peter’s first trauma yet he wasn’t there for the next one. And Peter hated him.

Peter remembered the plane. 

Officially Peter was never in that plane. There was no records of Peter ever being there, or Dr. Josh being there. But Peter remembered it in perfect clarity. It was one of the only memories Peter had of his parents. 

It was fine. The plane ride. It was boring and he played Uno with his parents. Dr. Josh stayed seated in a corner, close to the front. It was a nice plane, a private one Oscorp had provided them. This plane was newer. Peter hadn’t ever seen it before, this wasn’t the plane his family normally took. He had liked the other plane more, that plane was familiar. 

He was the one who noticed the smoke. It was coming out of the engine. They had thought the shaking was turbulence, just a little bit of wind. The smoke clouded the sky around them. 

Peter remembers that his parents buckled him into a seat, before getting into their own. Dr. Josh went to go into the cockpit, but the door was jammed. He couldn’t get in. The locking mechanism had ceased, there was no way for Dr. Josh to get in there and Peter saw the moment he realized this. The doctor sat down and buckled in.

The lights flickering was the scariest part to Peter. That was when everyone knew things would get worse. Peter could feel it, he was able to feel his parents fear. Their fear was suffocating. It was the way his mother sobbed and his father dropped his head into his hands, shoulders shaking. There was no battle to be fought, they weren’t going to be able to get out of this one.

Oxygen masks dropped and Peter’s mom made sure to get one onto his face. She kissed his forehead and whispered goodbyes. He cried hard, holding onto her hand with both of his. The door had ripped off the side of the air craft and that made things cold. Cold, cold, cold. And that didn’t make sense to Peter. Outside was bright orange, the colour of warmth and his parents bedding. 

Nothing made sense. It was bad and scary and Peter hates remembering this. He hates it. Peter hates that he was there and that officially he never was. There’s been no one to talk to, no one who can understand. It was in the news, that the only two passengers onboard had died and it infuriates Peter. There was four passengers on that plane and two died. 

Peter remembers the plane going down. He remembers screaming, then he remembers waking up. There was metal scraps of plane all around him and fire, there was so much fire. He was still in his chair, strapped down to it and he couldn’t get out. He remembers calling out for his parents and then looking around for them. 

Peter remembers seeing his mother laying there on the ground. She was awake but gasping for air, her one hand on chest, a leg bent at an unnatural angle, hair melted onto her. Peter was afraid of his own mother. He couldn’t find his father, couldn’t see him, but Peter could hear his screams. Peter could hear him in pain and that scared him too. He feared the people who were meant to be safe. Peter hates himself for that too.

Peter hates Dr. Josh. He hates Dr. Josh for surviving and Peter hates that Dr. Josh for saving him and not going back for his parents. And Peter hates Dr. Josh for leaving him, for not showing up anymore. 

Peter hates Dr. Josh. He never expected to see him again. But the thing about being Peter Parker is that everything goes in the exact way that Peter just can’t predict. 

Becoming Spider-Man was never anything Peter thought he would ever do. Meeting Tony Stark was a pipe-dream, and this mentor-mentee thing was so wildly out there. Nothing ever seemed to make sense and Peter hated that too. It was always a whirlwind and never any time to process any of it. Never any time to make sense of anything.

Peter couldn’t help blaming Dr. Josh for that too. 

“You good kid?” Tony finally, finally asked. 

Distractions are good, welcomed even. Anything was better than his thoughts or the memories of his parents dying. Distractions are easy and they help. Things aren’t so painful if he’s distracted. It’s why parents teach their kids to laugh when they get hurt, it distracts them and then everything is okay.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry- I just got caught up in my head.” 

Peter couldn’t help running his hand through his hair. It was a nervous tick, at least that’s what Dr. Josh had said. Built on his anxiety after his parents death. Peter didn’t believe that to be factual. It was a way to comfort himself, his parents used to run their fingers through Peter’s hair when he was sad or sick or tired. 

He could tell that Tony didn’t believe him. Why would he? Peter hasn’t been focused recently. He needs to focus, but he just can’t seem to focus on anything other than the thought of Dr. Josh recently. It’s a problem and Peter knows it. But it’s just so easy to put the bad things on him. 

Had Dr. Josh at least saved one of his parents, Peter wouldn’t have gone into foster care. He wouldn’t have been placed into May and Ben’s home, Skip would have never been his babysitter. Peter wouldn’t have had to go onto the Oscorp field trip, and Ben would have never been murdered. If just one of his parents had lived Peter wouldn’t feel the grief or hatred he does now. More of his family would be around, he wouldn’t be made fun of for being the reason his guardians all keep dying. May would be happier, she’d have her husband and a in-law. There would never be any over-due bills. So Peter hated Dr. Josh, and it wasn’t fair to do that to him, but Dr. Josh was supposed to be a doctor. He was supposed to save lives.

“Earth to Peter.” Tony waved his hand in front of Peter’s face. “You zoned out on me while I was talking. We have a meeting to go to remember, you’re supposed to pretend to be doing intern-y things. With the Avengers?” 

Peter shook his head, trying to clear it. It was too busy most of the time. Every thought just started and ended on top of each other. But he was going into a meeting, and the Avengers were supposed to be there, so his brain needed to be clear. He couldn’t think about what is felt like to fall out of the sky and not being able to catch himself.

“Sorry, yeah, I’m here. Which Avengers?” 

Smile. Breathe. Listen. Try and be normal. Do not dwell. Not on the past. 

“I mean Cap is going to be there, he’s a total bore by the way. He drones on and on, I think we’ve all learnt to fall asleep to him talking without him noticing, you’re allowed to zone out on him. Natasha is going to be there, she’s sneaky about things so don’t fan boy too hard around her. Clint will also be there, he’ll keep things interesting. You get bored in there Clint is always doing something strange to get everyone’s attention, you two will get along like a house on fire, I’m only a little scared. And Bruce will be there, you’ve met him multiple times already though Pete, so we aren’t going to hyperventilate this time. You’re going to remember to breathe and not overwhelm Bruce with every question you have about one of his research papers.” 

Tony liked to talk with his hands. Grand gestures. It was calming to watch. Peter liked how expressive Tony was. The man said he wasn’t good at expressing his emotions but Tony showed his emotions in his movements. He was easy to read if you knew what to look for, and Peter did. Peter liked knowing. He didn’t get to know much in his life, he could never predict what was happening next and that hurt. But he could see how Tony was feeling and he could act accordingly and he liked to be able to control that.

“I’ve seen the PSA’s at school I think I’ll live. Black Widow is very intimidating so I don’t think you’ll hear me talk more than five words, she’s awesome but she could kill me in the time it takes me to blink. I cannot annoy her Mr. Stark, I’m comfortable being alive.” Tony laughed, Peter joined. “I mean really, I’ve met Dr. Banner and Black Widow has become involved with the government and on tv all the time. An no self respecting teenager doesn’t hate Captain America for those PSA’s at least a little bit. I know them all except Hawkeye really, but he’s the only Avenger that is still supposed to be a secret agent so it’s not like any pictures of him exists. Which is very annoying Mr. Stark. Ned and I hacked into your servers once to see if we could find any pictures of him- this was before I met you by the way- and you didn’t even have anything there.”

Yeah, that sounded like Peter Parker. Laughing, joking, he sounded normal. He was not spiraling. There was no imagining the lights flickering or smoke filled sky. Peter couldn’t talk about it so he shouldn’t think about it. There was no use in his brain remembering the sound of his father’s screams. He could remember so many better things, more useful things. It was over ten years ago. He had more recent trauma, plane trauma at that. This really shouldn’t be the one bad thing his brain goes to first.

Right. He’s supposed to acknowledge and follow and be normal. Peter has this. There’s no plane falling out of the sky today. He is okay. 

“I wish I was surprised about you and Ted hacking into SI servers and then getting into my own, but frankly nothing you do could really ever surprise me at this point. You’re too smart for your own good, I do expect you to take over the world Roo, but for my heart could you wait until you’re done high school.”

It was the right time to laugh. Tony was laughing, so Peter laughed. It didn’t make sense to Peter how his actions couldn’t surprise Tony. Sometimes Peter’s actions even surprise himself. But it’s not really like Peter knew himself very much anymore, not with his life continuing to be so unpredictable. Sure he had gotten used to the fake smiles, and pretending to be fine, deflecting, but that wasn’t really his actions. It just covered them up. 

Peter followed just a little bit behind Tony, it helped ease the anxiety, like a shield. He also knew it wasn’t good to use Tony like this. It was just easier sometimes, when he was scared. This wasn’t a good pattern, but neither was the rest of his life. The world owed him just this bit of comfort sometimes.

“If I’m going to take over the world then I have to take everyone by surprise Mr. Stark. Including you; unless you help me of course. I could use you for your government connections, sway them over into our favour. It really wouldn’t take much.” 

Peter shrugged as Tony stepped into the room, shaking his head while looking back at him. The room was loud as Peter stepped in, but it’s what he had expected. Stories have been told to him about the Avengers, loud and rambunctious, conversations on top of each other. Even with Thor off world the group made up for it in this small room.

“Everyone this is my personal intern. Yes I trust him, no he is not a secret love child, no you can’t interrogate. Yes he will be sitting in this meeting, no you don’t have anything to worry about. Okay? Great, Brucie you know Peter, everyone else this is Peter Parker, Peter this is everyone.” 

It’s like falling from the sky, when he see’s the Avengers. He smells the smoke and feels everything quake. He can hear his father screaming and his mother gasping for air. Everything is warm orange but he’s cold and it doesn’t make sense. He is falling from the sky and it’s way too fast and he cant keep his hold on his mothers hand. He is falling and he can’t catch himself and the world is coming at him way too fast. 

He needs to breathe.

It hurts. 

He’s trapped in the seat and everything is on fire and his family is dying.

And there is Dr. Josh pulling him out and taking him away.

Breathe. He has to breathe.

Peter is not there.

Not in the middle of no where.

Certainly not with his parents.

But he is here. In the Avengers Tower. With Dr. Josh.

He just needs to focus. He needs to breathe. His brain is running too fast and there’s too many thoughts. Peter hates him, hates Dr. Josh. The plane crashed, his parents were alive and he was carried away from them. They died by this man who was supposed to be a doctor. Peter couldn’t help but feeling the anger, over a decade of anger boiling inside of him.

Peter was never good at not saying what he thought. Words were just out of his mouth before he even thought them. It’s always been good to stop people from questioning him too much, but now it was nothing but a weakness. There was no control over this, over his words and Peter hated that he couldn’t control them. He just needed to control something and yet he couldn’t even control his stupid words.

“You killed them.” 

It didn’t even sound like his own voice. He wasn’t supposed to talk about this. He was told not too. Officially Peter was never there. And he was never meant to talk about this. He should have forgotten this.

Captain America, Steve Rogers was the first one to move, pushing himself backwards in his chair before standing up. Peter didn’t like the stance Steve took, he recognized it from school and from muggers too. It was made to intimidate. It worked. Peter found himself pushing against Tony. He didn’t know if that was to shield himself or to shield Tony. It felt selfish though. 

“Kid?” Tony whispered. 

He was clearly hesitant, scared of Peter, for Peter? Honestly, Peter wasn’t so sure. All Peter knew was that he was angry, and the man who ruined his whole life was just sitting there, like this was no big deal like it was nothing. He sat there, just barely a fake look of concern like he didn’t even recognize Peter.

“You don’t even remember me. You’re the reason my parents died, you introduced yourself as a doctor and clearly you fucking lied. They were dying in front of us. Remember that? Instead of helping them you got me out of the seat I was in and walked away. We were the only two who survived, but funny enough neither of us were put on the reports. Officially we never went on that plane. Unofficially you dropped me off in Connecticut to go into foster care, but officially I ran away from my babysitter and managed to sneak onto a train. You remember me now?” The words felt like acid, and Peter didn’t like the way the words felt in his mouth. But he was falling. “Oh, no? See, you introduced yourself to me as Doctor Josh Wilkes.”

Peter didn’t notice how he made his way further into the room. He wasn’t very aware of his body or the words that were spilling out. There was just so much pain, so much that he never talked about to anyone because they were never supposed to know. His world fell apart in front of him when he was too young to understand and Peter never got to tell anyone.

“Peter, I think you’re having a severe panic attack. Can you breathe with me?” That was Dr. Banner. 

Dr. Banner was in front of Peter’s face, enough to block his view. Tony’s arms were wrapped around Peter’s waist just enough pressure to help remind Peter where he was. It wasn’t enough for Peter’s thoughts to stay in his head, but his head had been so loud for so long. Letting it out felt better but also worse. He was finally being heard, but this wasn’t what he wanted to happen. 

Black Widow- Natasha moved around the room, stationing herself in front of her friend, and Steve looked ready to yell. None of this was what Peter wanted. He needed to gain control. He needed to take a breath and start thinking. But here was Dr. Josh, Clint Barton and everything just felt so much more like a lie. Peter felt like he’d been removed from his body and scrambled before being shoved right back in.

“No. No. You told me you were a Doctor, that you saved lives. That was all a lie. Every word you ever said to me was a lie and I hate you, I do. You told me that plane crash was our secret, that I couldn’t tell anyone. You stole my parents lives, and you ruined mine, and now you’re just sitting there, silent. You’re an Avenger, you are supposed to save lives. Why didn’t you save mine?”

There were tears streaming down Peter’s face. He’d been lied too. The man he hates wasn’t even a real person, just some persona that was put on. He hated an Avenger and he never thought he would. Peter hates Clint Barton for what was done to him. And he hates that Clint just sits there not saying anything. Looking at Peter with his eyebrows raised but otherwise looking unaffected.

He had to leave. He needed to leave and go find a place to breathe. It’d been too long and everything hurt too bad. Peter was only 6, barely had any life and yet had it all torn from him.

Peter waiting another moment for Clint to say something.

“You’re a coward.” Peter pulled himself out of Tony’s arms. “I’m leaving. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

He was leaving and Peter knew it was wrong. This was everything he hated but he should be more mature about it. Peter was raised to treat people with respect, never to shout, never call someone names. It didn’t matter who the person was, he should always treat them the way he wishes to be treated.

The past should be behind him and he just needed to stop experiencing it. Peter needed to walk away from his past even if that left his parents behind him. His mom wasn’t gasping for air anymore and his dad wasn’t screaming in pain, but this felt the same as it had then. When he was picked up and carried away fighting to go back. 

The elevator was too small and it felt like falling. There wasn’t enough air as they went down, down, down. They were going towards the ground way too fast and everything was too cold and- he wasn’t there. Peter is in New York and he’s leaving his past behind. It’d be easier to forget it, but that can’t happen. For now he’s in New York and he is not falling, things are controlled now. He isn’t controlling them but things are controlled and that has to be enough.

“Peter, do you want to talk about it?” 

That was Tony. Tony was there walking out of the building with him and he didn’t even notice. Someone was there for him and following him out into the streets and he is upset. This is going to be like Ben all over again. It was all too familiar. Peter is crying and too caught up in his head and he’s being followed by someone who cares again and he is in New York. Last time Peter had a gun held to him because he saw something he shouldn’t and Ben stepped in. Tony would do the same thing as Ben, Peter knows that. 

Planes don’t fall out of the sky often but it happened to Peter twice. Muggings happen often, Peter has seen his fair share. It could happen to him again. History repeats itself, everyone says that. This can happen again too, it could. All because of Dr. J- Clint. 

“You can’t let him kill you Mr. Stark. I can’t lose anyone else, I can’t watch anyone else die. You and May are all I have left.”

Breathe. He just needs to breathe and it’ll be okay. Peter knows this he just needs to get himself under control. One person should not have any control over him, his life, not like this.

“Alright kiddo. I’m staying right here, and you know May isn’t going anywhere either. We’ll stay by your side no matter what. So lets talk, tell me what isn’t official or don’t. Whatever you need right now.”

Peter nodded. He hated how the air was acid but he had to do this. He’s held it all in, every bad thing. He didn’t talk about things, never the bad things, those were made to be secrets. But it never felt good, it always ached, to keep it all inside. Peter never told May and Ben about his parents, all they knew was the official story. He had never told them about Skip, never talked about it more than what was necessary after May walked in. Never said anything about what happened to give him his powers. He didn’t tell May about watching Ben die. He never said anything to Tony or Happy about a building falling on him or crashing the plane on Coney Island. These memories, these trauma’s are not made to be shared, but he couldn’t hold in in anymore. 

His body wasn’t his own and Peter hated not being aware of his actions, pulled too far into the past to understand his movements, his surroundings. When Tony pulled Peter back inside and to the penthouse he hardly recognized his own motions. Sitting onto Tony’s couch helped Peter come back to himself, just the tiniest bit. 

For the first time ever Peter told someone the unofficial story. There was no talking about nothing. He tells Tony about what it was like to notice the smoke and the flames. He talks about being exposed in the sky and holding his mothers hand as they fall. He speaks about seeing his mom, hearing her and his dad. He explains what is was like to be carried away, fighting to be with them, knowing they’d die. Peter tells Tony about what it’s like in foster care, about being considered a flight risk because officially he ran away from his babysitter. 

Peter tells Tony everything.

And Tony listens. 

Peter thought he’d feel better. He never expected to feel like every problem is solved, but he thought he’d at least feel the tiniest bit better. This wasn’t better though.

Maybe it was a mistake.

These big, scary traumatic things were supposed to be kept to himself. They might have changed his life but they didn’t need to affect anyone else’s.

“This is the first time you’re telling anyone any of this?” Tony hand’s Peter hot chocolate as he asks this question, it feels like a stupid question to Peter, he wasn’t supposed to talk about it so why would he tell anyone. 

“I was told I couldn’t tell anyone about my parents. Dr. Josh, Clint, he sat me down and told me no one could actually know how my parents died, that it was our secret. He’d check in on me for a few years after to make sure May and Ben didn’t know. Clint told me that the big scary thing things that happen to a person aren’t made to be shared with others and that no one would believe me, so I didn’t tell anyone. I’m supposed to do what adults tell me, it’s not a big deal.”

Tony hummed, sipping his own drink. Peter didn’t like the way Tony looked at him, like a mystery that revealed itself. It was close to the look Peter gets when people find out his parents are dead and one of his guardians died too, but it wasn’t quiet it. Tony also held some level of anger in his eyes and Peter didn’t know who that was directed at.

“Peter you literally exploded when you saw Clint, that was a pretty big deal. Him telling you not to share the first big traumatic thing to happen to you is a pretty big deal too, especially because he told you that he was a doctor. It’s all big deal.”

Peter groaned. He should have had better control. It was already a bad day and his head was too clouded with the past. It was a mistake. A blip. Peter should have done better.

“FRIDAY, could you ask Clint Barton to come up here?” 

FRIDAY confirmed and Peter realized that this was another mistake. Why couldn’t he just stop himself? He wasn’t good at this. This was a mistake. Peter was raised to do what was right but he only made mistake after mistake. Everything he’s done was a mistake.

“What are you doing kid?”

Planes fall from the sky. Planes that hold Peter have fallen. They are world ending and Peter’s world has ended over and over. He blamed the person that Clint was pretending to be. Peter blamed a lie.

“He forgot me and then I told him he killed my parents and didn’t save my life.”

The elevator dinged out a final warning to what was coming before the doors opened. This time Peter was prepared to see the face of a man who haunted his life. Clint walked in and stayed standing away from Peter and Tony on the other side the coffee table. 

“Sorry for yelling at you. It was a bad day. I was taken off guard and said things without any thought.” 

Unrecognizable. Cold. Unattached. Empty. Peter’s voice didn’t sound nice, there was no personality. But it had been a long day. There was too many emotions all at once and Peter was tired, it was nearly too much today. All his thoughts and feelings were all too wrapped together, snaked around his heart and lungs. In his throat and into his jaw, squeezing too tight; a mess of what should be neat and organized.

“My mission was to protect you. I was assigned onto that plane and to your parents to make sure you were properly protected. Your parents were agents in the scientific division of SHIELD and were assigned to Oscorp to get intel. We had reason to believe that Oscorp was going to stage a kidnapping to experiment on you. My only job was to keep you safe and when that plane went down I had to get you out of the area before you were taken. SHIELD agents were with your parents by the time we got to safety. We didn’t tell you that you’re Dad’s spine was crushed or your Mom’s lungs were filled with blood, there was no saving them. Even if I helped them first they would not have survived, if I was a doctor it wouldn’t have made a difference. My mission was to protect you. I had to drop in after that every once in a while after that because Oscorp still had their eyes on you. I got reassigned when they stopped following you.”

Peter’s mind reeled. Hardly able to process the words being told. None of it made sense. It didn’t feel much like the truth. Peter still ended up at Oscorp and bad things still happened. 

“Well you failed then. You’re mission was a failure.” Peter couldn’t help but laugh. “Oscorp doesn’t give school’s tours, especially not high schools. But they gave my school a tour, but only my class. You did not succeed at your one job. I was there, got separated from my class. After that some Oscorp employees tended to show up where I was for a few months, offered me summer camp opportunities a few internships. I never took them especially not once I got this internship. But they never stopped. Oh, and I was friends with Harry Osborn, for years actually, went over to his house all the time until pretty recently.”

The spider bite. Peter always thought it was an accident. A coincidence. But now it was making sense. The lab assistant who gave him the wrong directions to the bathroom did that on purpose. He ended up in a room filled with spiders instead of a hallway he expected to lead to the washroom. Oscorp followed him to see if Peter had changed, not because they thought he did something bad or stole from them. It was their plan. Had he of taken the internship who knows what else would have happened. 

The mugging that killed Ben, that was probably Oscorp too. It would make sense. Especially if they were watching Peter. The gun was pointed at Peter first, meant to shoot him. Maybe they expected Peter to do something, confirm any theory they may have had about him. Instead Ben got in the way and died. And Peter didn’t do anything that day, or that week, not even that month. Oscorp stopped reaching out as much after that. They weren’t at his favourite places anymore and he got less mail from them. Every once in a while they still offered an internship to him, but it wasn’t a consistent thing like before. There wasn’t anything consistent.

“Clint, I think it’s time for you to leave.” That was Tony. Tony was nice. Tony helps. “Peter, buddy, you need to remember to breathe. C’mon Roo, I know that was a lot but breathe for me, please.”

He couldn’t do it. Everything about Peter was a lie. The man he blamed was a lie. The idea his parents could be alive was a lie. The reason Ben died was a lie. Everyone lied to him, his entire life, every traumatic experience came from a lie. Being Spider-Man came from a lie and working with Tony rooted from one too. There was no truth. He was never given the truth. 

Peter couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to. Nothing was true. How could he do anything real, or true? His life was a pile of lies stacked on top of each other in a way to control him and to manipulate. There’s no control here, this was a fall and every time there was something to grab onto it just disappeared. Nothing was real, it wasn’t real. Someone else pulled the strings on his life and now they’ve all been cut and there’s nothing holding him up anymore. 

Alone. He’s alone and he can’t do this. Just a kid who lost everyone on a lie. Peter never had a chance to control anything,  Everything was set up for him to react in certain ways, he had no choice, probably never did.

“Peter, buddy, c’mon, breathe for me. Don’t do this, you’re going to hurt yourself. I know this was a lot, but Roo, you’ll get through this, I know this was a lot, your whole life thrown at you in one go. I’m here with you.”

Focus on Tony. He needed to breathe, gain control here. But this was wrong, all of it was wrong. Peter had been through a lot but this was something else entirely. How can any expect him to get through this? 

“No. No, Mr. Stark. I can’t- I can’t do this. I’m not- it’s not- it’s a lie. I can’t do this.”

He was sobbing, face tomato red. Tears were streaming down his face, his body shook just like the plane that went down. He couldn’t calm down and he hated himself for it. Peter couldn’t control the way his thoughts always went to his biggest traumas, and now he couldn’t control the way he was reacted. Maybe none of this ever happened, and that’s just a lie too. There’s no proof that he isn’t dead or in a coma or even lost his mind. It’s all been a lie this far, it could be a lie past that.

Arms wrapped around Peter. They held him tight and he fought them at first trying to break free. He needed to be free of them, free of his thoughts. He only struggled for a few minutes before finally being able to relax, entire body going limp.

Everything was too much. It was too much.

And Peter was falling from the sky. Falling too fast and too hard into the rest of his life. There was no way to catch himself, not at these speeds. He was just a six year old with too much heartache. No Spider-Man there to catch him, no webs strong enough. Peter was falling from the sky and he couldn’t stop.

But Tony is there, and Tony will be there to catch Peter before he crashes.

-

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