#I’m autistic and this confuses me

[deathsmallcaps]

This just might be the area I’m in for college right now, but you know how people are genuinely less social and willing to go out since quarantine? Well they’re also way more embarrassed about dancing. Everyone is too timid to start a fire on the dance floor, and only crowds of dancers make people who fear embarrassment realize that on the floor, they don’t have to worry because they’ll just be another body having fun, and no one cares.

But if NOBODY is willing to hit the floor, then the crowd doesn’t form at all. So then nobody joins, and the few brave souls* are wiggling and jiggling alone, and when all of us get thirsty, the floor dies.

I don’t think COVID and a lack of safe public gatherings is the only factor though. Social media (and cameras!!!) has made perfection seem so attainable, and yet all it does is backslide you into self disbelief. You don’t have to learn every step of a dance to have fun! Make your own wiggle and people will love it!

And don’t get me started on the little dance circles that are unfriendly. PEOPLE! Letting in lonely diggers can make you new friends and increases the fun! Don’t fucking ignore the singlet. Some serious loss of etiquette is going on and it’s sad. You would NOT be fun to start a conga line with

We didn’t even have a dance circle form. That’s literally one of the coolest parts. God I hope back home it’s not like this/this phenomenon passes. Good luck to us all I guess

*like me ofc

#I did have fun but the dance died a whole fifty minutes early etc #*wtf idk why that autocorrected to etc #silly complaints #if you’re here then why not try!? #‘I don’t know how to dance to this song’ #me neither make it up #I’m not even an extrovert I just like dancing #maybe by todays standards I am idk #my social battery levels in middle and high school are kind of the norm now #and since I was building up muscle in that area #I’m somehow the nutcase who likes going out on the weekend #what happened #I’m autistic and this confuses me #anyways once I have money I’m going to have to try clubbing or something #because AFAIK no one holds free dances for non students #and I don’t like concerts

[eddienashtonn]

there’s something so autistic about the riddler as a character. the frustration of having no one really see you, the need to prove yourself smarter and cleverer than all of them to make up for the fact that you could never fit in with them, the compulsive joy of forcing others to play by your rules, the obsession with truth and answers, the comfort of having your own space where you’re in control, the fear of inadequacy, the isolation and loneliness, the need to be acknowledged in your reality to be satisfied but never able to reach that satisfaction.

#edward nashton #the riddler #edward nygma #riddler #autism #autistic #autistic riddler!!!! #he is autistic to me always #so is bruce but that’s another conversation #batman #honestly this character almost represents low support needs autism to me #like 2e twice exceptional vibes #the dissonance of being so smart but also being disabled in ways you don’t fully understand #the confusion and resentment from being rejected over and over just for being you #the final straw of saying fuck them all i’ll be better and smarter and i’ll show them #only to spend the rest of your life trying to show them when they never cared in the first place #i’m probably projecting #but that’s my right!!

[tofu-bento-box]

// serious post

here’s the thing i don’t get: people tell you to communicate your feelings, and then react negatively when you feel something they don’t think you should.

i’m ill in six different directions: my feelings are mostly negative and generally illogical. i get upset for reasons that i know don’t matter in the bigger scheme of things. but i can’t express that anger or hurt, because then people think that i am selfish, and entitled, and a bad friend. on the other hand, though, i’m also bad at hiding my feelings, and saying you’re okay when you clearly aren’t is also rude. so it’s just a constant struggle between “how much can i say to make this person feel that i’m answering truthfully, without them deciding i’m a selfish asshole.”

people tell me that you can’t rationalize away your emotions, and then react with disgust when i can’t do that for “the things that matter.” i’m upset. i know i shouldn’t be, i’m upset that i’m upset, but you sitting there judging me isn’t exactly going to help the situation. i know that whatever’s going on with my friends is more important than how it affects me. but then what does selflessness look like? is it not being upset in the first place, or is it just hiding your expression of your hurt? am i incapable of being a good friend because i can’t keep myself from feeling things i shouldn’t?

i just don’t get people sometimes. it’s like everyone has a rulebook for what’s allowed, and they just forgot to give me a copy. i get told communicate, communicate, communicate, over and over, and everyone forgets to mention what i’m meant to be conveying. because sometimes it really seems that what they want isn’t the truth.

#vent post #personal vent #not about anyone here #rant #chronic illness #migraine #spoonie #autism #actually autistic #autistic things #autistic adult #social rules #nd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autism problems #chronic pain #disabled #disability #i’m genuinely confused #this is the one thing i can never seem to get #good communication #eludes me it seems #communication problems #serious post #advice #need advice

[teethburger]

gender is so fucking confusing

#every time I think I’ve figured it out some piece of media comes along and messes it all up again #like I know I’m not a man but I dress sort of boyishly because it’s just convenient and I’m pretty much sort of a girl but I don’t fully #relate to other girls either???? what am I #autism is definitely not helping #it’s so hard for me to carry myself the same way other girls do and I can’t really compare genders with them #joey says some sh #rambling #autistic #gender confusion #gender #nb #??? #demigirl #??? idk

[finniestoncrane]

said to my counsellor that i wasnt built for friendship because everyone always eventually just. stops speaking to me and she went “ok why do you think that is?” and then when i finished my dumb sad list she went “ok so maybe you aren’t good at friendship” and i. have never regretted spending £50 more in my life lol

#A RANT IN THE TAGS MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN REALISE I AM WRITING THIS WARNING RETROSPECTIVELY #£50 to feel like never trying to speak to anyone again or forge any connections THANKS RUTH #Ruth remember when I said that every friendship I’ve had I’ve never truly known if it’s a friendship or if it’s one sided #remember when I told you that my friend groups always had people who had a favourite and I was never the favourite #remember when I told you that several friend groups have disbanded but not really they actually just made new spaces without me? #remember that? remember my trauma? remember? #because I DO!!! #I was not born to have friends I don’t think #I can’t even make friends with other autistic people or other weird people or other queer people #I don’t even think I could make friends with a clone of myself #this is so guy wrenchingly isolating lol #like girl what do you want from me? keep everyone at arms length like I used to? #try not to let myself get attached to people in case they decide they don’t want to be close to me anymore? #please it is not great advice Ruth #THE WORAT PART is that I literally was like ‘I don’t message too much because I’m overbearing’ #and she asked where the proof was #and all I had was the complete dissolving of any relationship where I tried or tried too hard #so now I’m left in this confusing space of do I message too much or not enough because I have no happy medium #and she knows SHE KNOWS I also have energy issues and executive dysfunction stuff going on #and I know she is just trying to help and get me to think about this stuff #but it was just not the time lmao #finnie shouts into the void

[bbcphile]

Is it just me, or is there a surprising lack of Tumblr posts on Mysterious Lotus Casebook and neurodivergence?

I would have thought Di Feisheng’s special interests in sword fighting and Li Xiangyi would have inspired at least a few comments about him being Autistic.

(Plus his preference for blunt speech, ignoring social rules/etiquette, dislike of social settings, and sensory sensitivity (sound in particular), etc.)

#mysterious lotus casebook #Mlc #lian hua lou #lhl #Lianhua lou #di Feisheng #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #surely I’m not the only one thinking about this #is it just that autistic jock aka elite athlete isn’t as much of a stereotype as autistic nerd? #I’m so confused as to why this isn’t discussed more #I could make a longer post with all the reasons I think this makes sense #but it’s taken me a month to even work up the courage to post this

[incorrectrockyandshockyquotes]

Magenta and Columbia’s part of “Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me” in the 1975 film be like

#reese rambles #rocky horror #To me at least #I’m autistic af and bad at social cues #My bf thought they were having a pillow fight though??? #But yeah I was there confused all: #Okay are you two fucking or just making fun of Janet #Can someone clear up wtf was going on #I am not a smart man #columbia rocky horror #magenta rocky horror

[ocpdzim]

tbh my advice to other disabled people is Don’t Be Afraid To Be An Asshole Sometimes. like not unprovoked but if people are bothering you. you may think “he probably doesn’t mean anything by it” and maybe you’re even right, but if you’re enough of a pain in the ass about it then people learn not to be ableist next time and it doesn’t actually hurt them any aside from momentarily feeling horribly awkward. grill ME on why i’m sitting down at an event where most people stand up and you get my whole medical history in painstaking detail loud enough for everyone nearby to hear our conversation. and the bonus of this is it flips an interaction that would otherwise be upsetting and embarrassing to you back around onto the dick who tried to make you feel that way. it’s your turn to feel like you’ve personally fucked up the vibe at the whole party now, dipshit

#you can tailor it to the severity of the offense too #like if it’s just a guy saying i should stand up i just list the reasons im not doing that in a matter of fact manner #but if someone actually goes so far as to make like. a horribly offensive remark. #like a guy who once said autistic people have no souls right in front of me not knowing i was autistic #you can rip the motherfucker apart LOL #for that one i went with ‘did you know i’m autistic too!’ followed by pretending to be confused every time he tried to explain himself and #asking for clarification until he literally gave up and put his hat over his face LMAO #‘i don’t look autistic? so what does autistic look like then???’ #‘i’m different from other autistic people you know? i didn’t know you had so many autistic friends who are they! can you introduce us? #oh you don’t actually have any?? so are you lying? oh you meant your friend’s 5 year old son? are most allistic adults you know the same as #allistic 5 year olds? you know i work with kids a lot but i haven’t noticed that before!’

[uefb]

Scamander Brothers at the Ministry: Facial Expressions

this scene’s like watching sibling table tennis x

#I have been both the exasperated older sibling and the very confused/annoyed autistic family member so many times #depending on the situation #but this scene never fails to equal parts break my heart and make me laugh #also again let’s pretend I’m decent at making gifs ok - I don’t have the same patience for it I do for writing 😬 #I do love tho #that you can see through theseus’ body language #that he really does care - he’s just real shit at meeting Newt where he’s at sometimes #also I will never stop using this clip as the perfect example of autism impacting viewers beliefs abt truthfulness in witness statements etc #so perfect #newt scamander #Theseus Scamander #Scamander brothers #crimes of Grindelwald #fantastic beasts and where to find them #autistic Newt Scamander #my stuff #gifset

[milimeters-morales]

awww ♥️

#i’m honedtly just kinda lost and confused in this comic and the stuff feels pretty fast but i think that’s just me #the kid’s little hand in his 🥺🥺🥺 miguel don’t ever think you’re subhuman or i’ll find a way to blow up everything #so i don’t have many thoughts on this comic like at all… feels like i’m a bystander or just a normal fan of him 😭😭 #which is CRAZY for me like. is this what not being autistic about a character feels like????? #miguel o’hara #spiderman 2099 #spider man 2099 #m&m posts

[kinokoshoujoart]

wait why is that option getting so many votes??

#Autistic Clarification Request Poll #i meant for it to be read as ‘please draw rock in a disrespectful way👀’ #i’m confused because if you look through my blog the suggestive stuff isn’t as popular. but this option is very popular. #i continued to draw Disrespect Content™︎ because i’m a Stubborn Bastard and i personally find it funny #i will continue to draw it regardless because i’m a Stubborn Bastard #but if there are tags i could use to improve your viewing experience please let me know 🫡 #to filter out stuff ya don’t want to see. i don’t wish to make anyone’s day bad but i will draw what i find funny #i don’t want to end up with everyone going ‘you tricked me into approving you posting wacky stuff on main.’ #(i have no plans to stop posting wacky stuff but. i don’t want people to be tricked into approving of it) #although that would be extremely funny. but not fun for you guys!!! #polls #cora is not great at communicating and makes a poll for the poll.

[theneurodivergentnerd]

(you know the drill: click for better quality or whatever.)

I love/hate this drawing. Like, they look so stupid I love them but also they look so stupid I wish I could draw.

(Rant under the cut)

I did this scene redraw or whatever it’s called because i was supposed to be mind-mapping ideas for my A-Level art Personal Project but couldn’t because the idea of such a big project felt too daunting to start and I had so many ideas in my head I was rendered completely unable to write or articulate any of them. Then I felt so guilty for drawing this instead that I sat down and wrote a far-longer-than-necessary essay about my initial ideas and two artists I could investigate because I have systems in place for writing essays through executive dysfunction but not mind mapping through executive dysfunction. I’m actually irrationally terrified I’m going to be in trouble for not doing the task properly even though I overcompensated out of guilt and my teacher has never been mad at me before. I’m pretty sure he secretly hates me though, expect rationality I know that’s not true and I hate that I can’t convince myself that my teachers are not completely lying to me about everything. i need therapy.

#I can’t believe I laughed in my CHAMS practitioner’s face when she said she thought I had ADHD #Like it’s so obvious and I was well educated on it but I just like #missed it? #I was like “no I think you’re confused I’m autistic” #And she was like “you know you can have both right?” #And I was like “yeah because they’re like comorbid conditions or something #it’s called auDHD my brother has it” #And she just looked at me #I’m now on a waiting list for an assessment #the book of boba fett #boba fett #cad bane #fennec shand #scene redraw #neurodivergence #executive dysfunction #tatooine #cowboy #duels #i don’t know how to tag #how do i tag help

[noperopesaredope]

Me: *Sees a fun and relatable post about a character I like*

Me: Hehe, fun. I’ll give it a reblog and add some of my own thoughts in the tags.

Me: *Reblogs and adds tags agreeing with OP*

Me: *Reopens Tumblr a couple of hours later and sees that there’s a message in my inbox*

The Message:

(From OP of the post I originally reblogged)

Me: *Tries to type a reply to ask for clarification*

Me: *Can’t*

Me: *Checks OP’s blog*

OP: *Apparently blocked me*

Me: :/

Ok, so I literally didn’t know this was a thing??? That apparently it’s not okay to reblog things from RP blogs??? I didn’t see a “don’t reblog” in the tags (though I might not have noticed). Is this common or is it this one blog in particular??? I’ve reblogged from what I think were RP blogs, and I’ve never had this issue before.

Should I follow this person’s aggressive demand and never reblog from an RP blog again??? Because if that’s the case, I’m probably just gonna start blocking every RP blog from now on just so I don’t have to deal with shit like this. Can anyone tell me if this is common knowledge??? Legitimately need to know. I’d rather just be aware so as not make this mistake again and deal with the RSD.

#help me #please help #help #advice #advice needed #please my rsd can’t handle this shit and this is the second time someone on the internet has been this rude to me this week #rp blogs #internet culture #tumblr culture #tumblr ettiquette #internet etiquette #I’m dead serious about the whole ‘blocking rp blogs’ thing btw #am i the problem? #am i the asshole #can someone explain #i am confusion #i’m too autistic for this #i honestly didn’t even know this was an rp blog #also i thought the reblogs would be locked if they didn’t want me to reblog it since that’s what i usually see

[awetistic-things]

okay so one thing that severely annoys me about extraordinary attorney woo is how they make su-mi out to a “bad mother”

now, she did not want young-woo. she was in her final (i believe) year of law school and was set to inherit a law firm. she did not have the time, therefore she did not want her, and wanted to abort her

the father literally told her that if she were to give birth to young-woo he would leave her alone and su-mi would never have to see him or young-woo ever

but then he gets so offended on the fact that she didn’t come around to see young-woo? like, make it make sense?

i understand young-woo being upset, but the dad? you did this, so why you getting so offended when you’re the one who made it this way?

yes, su-mi could’ve come around, she could’ve found the dad and young-woo at any time, she could’ve played a part in her life, but she didn’t, and why not? because the dad made the deal, so he needs to stop acting like he’s a victim, because he’s really not

#tell me ur thoughts #cuz i’m just confused on the way they’re painting su-mi #autism #autistic #actually autistic #asd #autism spectrum disorder #autistic things #on the spectrum #extraordinary attorney woo #woo young woo #young woo #attorney woo #tae su mi #su mi

[arthur-r]

testosterone meeting complete?!?!?!?!???!!!

#it went well the doctor was so much better than any doctor i’ve met ever in my life #treated me like a human being?? was familiar with my pre-existing conditions?? #saw autism on my chart and just acknowledged it and moved on?? no ‘‘are you sure you’re trans you’re just a confused autistic kid’’ ??!! #i have an informed consent paper to look at now but it’s all stuff i’ve already researched #i have officially decided that T is more important to me than biological children so we got this #(i was already basically there but i had an anxiety spiral a couple months ago about freezing my eggs which i’ve confirmed was just anxiety #‘​‘just anxiety’’ i sound like a fucking evil doctor but like. intrusive-thoughts-anxiety vs thing-i-should-listen-to. i don’t want bio kids #the one thing i’m nervous about is my singing voice i wanna make sure i get some recordings in before my voice changes #cause my voice isn’t mine but i’ve sure worked hard on it shdhdf and it has a high pitched anxious quality to it that you can’t often find #shdhdhf i just feel like the voice i have now is more unique than wherever i’m gonna end up. and i really want to sound like my favorite cis #men musicians but i feel like my anxious songs just won’t hit the same if it sounds like some guy is singing them #so i’m gonna make some recordings within the next month to put out pre-T demo versions of my songs (real demos not what i’m always posting) #and then i’ll be ready. cause i want to sound like some weird shitty man SO BAD. please just let me be some off-key guy with voice cracks #TO BE CLEAR i would sure like to be a talented singer on testosterone. which has happened for one of my dearest friends and can probably #also happen for me. if i keep working on my voice all the time. BUT i would rather have a shitty low voice than a beautiful high one #which i did a lot of thinking about and grappling with since i’m a vocalist and it’s kind of really important to me #but half the male musicians i listen to can’t even hold a tune. so I CAN HANDLE IT #anyway!! i’m going to latin now!! and then i have work and then asexual club and then heading home and maybe laundry #i hope everybody has a good day and i love you dearly #me. my post. mine. #delete later #medical cw #(? ask to tag)

[ratsinpots]

I don’t have the ”your child is a joy to have in class” neurodivergent. I have the “Your child hasn’t done any homework in four months and is failing this class. However they get a 100% on every test they take even though they don’t pay attention and we put them in a room by themselves to take the test so they don’t cheat. Please find out what’s wrong with them.” Oh wait… nobody else? Just me? Okay then.

#I was diagnosed in 3rd grade. #My teachers hated me. #My mom was so confused. #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #adhd #actually adhd #My friend told me he thinks I’m autistic #he’s autistic so maybe.