#men musicians but i feel like my anxious songs just won’t hit the same if it sounds like some guy is singing them

[arthur-r]

testosterone meeting complete?!?!?!?!???!!!

#it went well the doctor was so much better than any doctor i’ve met ever in my life #treated me like a human being?? was familiar with my pre-existing conditions?? #saw autism on my chart and just acknowledged it and moved on?? no ‘‘are you sure you’re trans you’re just a confused autistic kid’’ ??!! #i have an informed consent paper to look at now but it’s all stuff i’ve already researched #i have officially decided that T is more important to me than biological children so we got this #(i was already basically there but i had an anxiety spiral a couple months ago about freezing my eggs which i’ve confirmed was just anxiety #‘​‘just anxiety’’ i sound like a fucking evil doctor but like. intrusive-thoughts-anxiety vs thing-i-should-listen-to. i don’t want bio kids #the one thing i’m nervous about is my singing voice i wanna make sure i get some recordings in before my voice changes #cause my voice isn’t mine but i’ve sure worked hard on it shdhdf and it has a high pitched anxious quality to it that you can’t often find #shdhdhf i just feel like the voice i have now is more unique than wherever i’m gonna end up. and i really want to sound like my favorite cis #men musicians but i feel like my anxious songs just won’t hit the same if it sounds like some guy is singing them #so i’m gonna make some recordings within the next month to put out pre-T demo versions of my songs (real demos not what i’m always posting) #and then i’ll be ready. cause i want to sound like some weird shitty man SO BAD. please just let me be some off-key guy with voice cracks #TO BE CLEAR i would sure like to be a talented singer on testosterone. which has happened for one of my dearest friends and can probably #also happen for me. if i keep working on my voice all the time. BUT i would rather have a shitty low voice than a beautiful high one #which i did a lot of thinking about and grappling with since i’m a vocalist and it’s kind of really important to me #but half the male musicians i listen to can’t even hold a tune. so I CAN HANDLE IT #anyway!! i’m going to latin now!! and then i have work and then asexual club and then heading home and maybe laundry #i hope everybody has a good day and i love you dearly #me. my post. mine. #delete later #medical cw #(? ask to tag)