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fatefulfaerie · 3 years

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Honesty Part 7 (Last One)

Part One here

Part Two here

Part Three here

Part Four here

Part Five here

Part Six here

Zelda supposed it was the adventurous spirit in both of them that led them to sit upon the roof, gazing at the stars and yet very aware of the person next to them. Sometimes they shared words, small talk about this or that. Sometimes they shared silence, just as comfortable, just as safe. Either way, Zelda found herself forgetting about her troubles in the company of Link.

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been a week already,” Link remarked, obviously attempting to strike up another bout of conversation. Zelda turned her head. “I feel like I just got here and now we are journeying to rendezvous with Urbosa early tomorrow morning.”

Zelda smiled to herself.

“You did sleep through a pretty big chunk of it,” she jived, Link offering a slight chuckle in reply.

“Damn mushrooms,” he said before their words faded again, Zelda listening to the chirps of crickets and the rattles of cicadas.

She thought of the words of Link’s mother, the advice that the line between a deep friendship and a romantic relationship was farther away than she thought. Zelda knew she could cross over at any time, but it was that trepidation, that hesitation that seemed to drive them both to pure flustered anxiety when around each other, like one move would cross a line they could never come back from, that they would fall so deep in love that they would fall from a great height, and thus so would Hyrule.

Link’s mother reminded her that shutting him out because of that fear may be just as detrimental. There had to be a balance.

“Hey, Link?” Zelda prompted, keeping her gaze on the stars and her weight on the hands behind her.

“Yeah?”

Zelda didn’t know that Link had taken the opportunity to look over to her, to admire the way the pale light of the stars and the moon made her completely ethereal, the way she outshined them, captured their light and proved herself the better conduit for it.

“I just wanted to thank you,” Zelda said. “For this week...tolerating me, you know, the spoiled princess I am.”

“You’re not spoiled,” Link said quickly. Zelda smiled to herself and was glad the darkness of the night sky hid any blush. “I mean...you deserve a break just as much as I do. I’m glad I got to give that to you, and...well I like having you around.”

Zelda kept smiling. This felt more normal, and even better, it felt more natural.

“I like having you around too,” Zelda said in reply. “I think you...”

Zelda stopped herself. She had to temper her honesty, balance telling him how she felt without pouring out her entire heart and drowning them both in their dangerous love.

“I think you may be the best friend I’ve ever had,” Zelda said, Link hiding his surprise well. “I know you are under orders to protect me, but you were never under orders to forgive me for my prior immaturity, nor were you under orders to befriend me and support me like you have. No one has ever had my back like you do, no knight assigned to me, not even Urbosa or my father...oh gosh this is probably sounding horribly strange...I think I just want to let you know that I have your back too, no matter what. I...uhmm...I care about you a lot.”

She finally overcame her anxiety and looked over to Link, who was looking so intently at the night sky that it seemed quite the oddity.

“What are you doing?!” Zelda asked with a resummoned petulance. “Are you even listening to me?!”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m looking for flying pigs.”

“Goddesses,” Zelda said, playfully shoving him, which made him laugh. “I was trying to be sincere and you turn it into a joke! I can’t believe I li...”

Link looked over to her immediately as her intended word cut short and slowed down, hanging on the syllable as she tried to save it. Her heart burned with panic and embarrassment and somehow the brain she was often praised for failed her, Zelda forgetting every word she had ever learned.

“...ke...you,” she finally finished, closing her eyes filled with regret, and scampering off the roof quickly.

“Princess, wait!” Link said with an outstretched hand, coming to a kneel to watching her run across the bridge towards the center of town.

Link sighed as he followed suit, hopping down to the roof of the stable, as if it was a stepping stone downwards, soon meeting his feet to grass.

He bursted through the door to his house, nearly scaring his mother half to death where she stood cooking.

“Link!” She said breathlessly with a hand on her chest. “What in Hyrule are you--”

“Do you remember where I put the sword?” Link asked, frantically looking everywhere.

“For goodness sake, Link, I’m sure it’s here somewhere,” Ruth said as Link ran upstairs. She furrowed her brow, looking up at the loft. “Would you calm down?!”

“Can’t,” Link replied, sword in hand and running back down the stairs. “I’ll be back for dinner.” Link slammed the the door behind him with as much haste as he had opened it. Ruth rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Hylia, help that boy.”

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Link knew exactly where she would run, and thus, his legs burned as he ran up the hill to Purah’s laboratory as fast as he could.

Knocking on the door, he panicked with worry. She could have been in danger and even if she wasn’t, she was likely ashamed for something she simply shouldn’t be. Link always assumed she didn’t like him back but now his mind overflowed with possibility that was once a fantasy. Most of all, however, he just wanted to see her okay.

“Linky!” He heard as soon as the door opened, the young Purah standing there with excited red eyes. Link gave a nervous and forced smile before return to his concerned expression.

“Is the princess here?” Link asked.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this serious Link,” Purah observed like she was studying him. “And your face is completely flushed. Tell me, do you have any other symptoms?”

Link sighed.

“Just answer my question,” Link demanded.

“She’s around back,” Purah said, Link immediately walking to find his Princess. “Wait,” Purah said, stopping him and prompting him to turn back around. “I thought you two were past her running from you.”

“We are,” Link said. “Well, we were...there was just a misunderstanding. I’ll fix it.”

“Well then I wish you the best of luck, young knight,” Purah said before closing the door.

Link tread around the lab, finding Zelda hugging her knees and staring out at the vast sea, lit by the moonlight. Link questioned whether or not she knew he was here, whether she would have run and whether he had the courage to make himself known.

“I was trying to bridge the gap without letting that out,” Zelda said suddenly, alerting Link to the fact that she did in fact know. He leaned casually on the outside wall of the lab, his ears penned for her next words. “I don’t want to lose you because of the distance I have to keep to not...get too close. I was trying to follow your mother’s advice to not let this get in the way of still being there for each other.” Zelda laughed at herself. “I did a great job.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” Link said. “Besides, I get where you are coming from. When we talked about focusing only on defeating the calamity, I think we both had this in mind...of course thinking that the other person didn’t. And yes, Your Highness, that means I like you back, for better or worse.”

Zelda tried not to let her heart flutter with joy, not to jump up and into his arms. She tried to look at the ocean and forget that his eyes were the same, beautiful color.

“I can’t erase my feelings,” Link said. “Can you?”

Zelda shook her head.

“No,” she replied.

Link finally stepped forward and knelt next to her to match her eye line, Zelda looked over to him once he did. They couldn’t but smile at the sight of the other.

“This is insane,” Link said. “I mean you of all people like like me.”

“The irony is not lost on me,” Zelda said with a slight laugh. Link moved to sit on his heels and took her hands into his. Zelda reveled in the feeling, in the moments, in his touch, in everything about this.

“This is still a bit bizarre for me,” Link said. “And new and scary, but...I’m willing to wait for you until after the calamity is defeated...to wait to truly pursue this. I will support you and care about you sincerely until then but if you feel I’m not worth the wait--”

“You are,” Zelda said quickly with a smile. “You are.”

Link blushed, his head hanging down as he chuckled, filled with disbelief. He was almost tearing up at what he had found in her, how lucky he was. He raised his hand, pinkie outstretched.

“Let’s make a promise then, to pause this budding romance until we defeat the calamity once and for all, to still be there for each other with the same love, care, and support, but not risk our common sense because of it.”

Zelda eyed his outstretched pinkie.

“A pinkie promise?” Zelda asked with a raised brow. “That’s how we are going to seal this?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

Zelda smiled as she brought her hands to his, clasping his pinkie back into his fisted hand and holding it.

“How about a kiss?” She asked. “Just this once...for now at least.”

“What?” Link asked, his smile fading and his face reddening as much as Zelda had ever seen it. Zelda laughed.

“Link,” she said. “It’s okay.”

“Are you sure,” Link asked. “I mean you’re royalty and I’m just--”

Zelda surged forward and met her lips to his, Link soon giving in, placing his hand on her cheek as something stoked with their very souls, their silent promise continuing. The passion of their blooming love was balanced by the hesitation of their first kiss.

“You better remember this,” Zelda said as she withdrew.

“Like I could forget,” Link said jokingly.

#zelink #zelda #link #hyrule #botw #aoc #tloz #breath of the wild #age of calamity #the legend of zelda #hateno #I always start these saying they won't kiss #and then they do #and i can't bring myself to delete it #maybe Nintendo will relieve me of this sickness of always writing Link and Zelda's first kiss pre calamity #aoc please #I've written it so many different ways

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ijustlikeplantsdude · 5 years

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Life

I guess I do need to express my feelings more often, it makes me feel like shit that I can’t actually show anything that’s real, it all feels like a cleverly crafted charade. I’m very clearly from an educated perspective trying to live out my dreams, without any actual way of attaining them do to the cards being so stacked against me. Let’s see, to start us off let’s go over my “origin” (I know stupid fucking thing to call it, but I digress), my father was an alcoholic drug addict that pan handled for money (probably why I have very little sympathy for those people, well not all of them are pan handlers, but you can tell the ones that truly are, that one comes from the gut), from what I remember my mother and father met in either a diner or a rehab center (I know very close relations to one another), I believe this was before my mom really wanted to become a nurse, because I specifically remember going to the day care or sitters a lot because of college, and I also remember her being a waitress when I was little, I remember telling a Spider-Man at my birthday that he wasn’t the real Spider-Man for my 6th birthday I believe. I remember looking at yu-gi-oh cards that other kids had because I didn’t have my own, but I remember also from that night going’s to my aunt Ruth’s and watching one piece, it was on jet-ex I believe, an old kinda more teenager program that Cartoon Network used to host before adult swim really got popular. I remember telling my aunt pan that I felt like time was skipping, and for some reason I think she got worried, I don’t know why she got so worried but honestly that woman had enough to deal with. But I do wanna day another aunt story since I’m on the subject. So to begin I want to say I was the dumbest dumbass kid that ever walked the earth, like I was gullible as shit, so for a Christmas when I was younger my mom and I where up in Maine for Christmas (I think we used to do this a lot but I’m not sure) and I go up to my moms twin and give ask her if this present is for me cause it says Sean, and she says no, so I get confused beyond measure, like my brain was going “there’s another Sean?????” And so I go to my mom, whose in the room over, and ask her and she says it’s for me, now let me tell you what, that got me even more confused, so yeah that’s the three birth aunts, not gonna talk about the non-birth ones cause, well that’s a story for later amigo phone.

There is one more thing I think I need to go over about my father though, like I’ll probably Wright more but this needs to be done, I never met him, well really met him, and that leads to what I need to think about more. That night on the pier. Now this is like full on movie style traumatic, but normally in those movies or tropes, the main characters dad dies before the kid can really know him, but is this amazing guy. Well I can tell you right now my dad wasn’t amazing but the one memory there is that matters is the pier. Now enough filibustering around it for suspense, considering it’s the most vivid fucking memory I have. My dad, my mom, and I where walking along this one pier in either Maine or Boston, I remember looking up at my dad asking him if he’d ever take me on a roller coaster, and he looked me in the eyes and said “when you’re older we’ll come back and ride it” and from what I remembered he seemed happy about it. Now this is probably really specific and there’s no way I was stringing words together this well, considering I was between probably 2-4, but I do remember it and that’s something, I also remember him coming back when I was probably about 8 and I can look back on it now and see he didn’t care about me. He looked to get rid of me the first chance he really got, sending me to bed so he can watch south park, I don’t remember if I really cried then but I feel like I did, and here’s something else, I don’t know the last time that I’ve actually expressed my true emotions... I know that sounds sociopathic, but that’s just the thing, I think I might have been inedvertibly turned sociopathic, like I don’t know if that’s a trait that can be just developed or if you’re born with it but it’d make a lot of sense considering everything. Now this doesn’t mean I don’t love my girlfriend, and care for Kylie, along with jack, Kenzie, and god probably even Bayley. But there’s a lot of good examples on there too about me being sociopathic. But that’s not even all, there’s also the fact that I don’t think I really form any more bonds like I used to, everything, and every way that I used to use to create bonds and friendships with others just isn’t available anymore. I used to be actually able to trust in others and feel something at all times, but now everything is just hollow, I feel like I’m this huge empty shell that can’t do anything, yet I also try to look at it from different spectrums to at least try and feel something again for real. Like plants, what the actual fuck was I thinking, i had no experience, no nothing, while I didn’t feel hopeless yet considering my aunt wasn’t abusing me by this point, why did I do it. Like I just say I like plants and generic ass excuses. But I know the times I’ve told people in public was really when I thought no one would be listening, I like the idea of spreading life, or even just making life, I like feeling like I’m in control, but not over people, I don’t really really like people all that much which is probably why I’m so introverted and hard for me to actually interact with other people, but plants are different, I feel connected to them in a way that I really don’t know how to explain, but really that’s not all, I also really want to leave this planet, like some kids dream of being astronaughts or whatever, but I never thought like that, he’ll I didn’t think I would live to be 18, but hey, I’ll be 19 in August so there’s that, but the thing about space, is that it’s just there, so untamable, and so utterly terrifying, that I truly love it, I would love to be just sent away so that I’d never be with another human again, just allow me to have plants and that’s it, make it so I’ll drift through space till I die of old age, or whatever is out there swallows me whole, either way I’d be happy. But on a more realistic note, being a Astro biologist is something that sounds amazing. Now that I’ve said that I do want to talk about one other things, while I don’t really like talking to people, and generally I’m bad at it, there’s a lot of times when I can be very charismatic, so in

this sea of self hate I would like to put my one true thought in there, that somewhere in my brain, I want to feel, alive. Like I can imitate every single fucking human emotion to the T, without feeling a fucking thing inside, but I want to say that there really is something inside me that feels something, like while I feel like an empty shell, when there are no real emotions needed, that’s when I feel normal. Just driving, talking about food, just talking in general with someone I know, I can feel just plain normal. And now I’m happy, yeah happy, that I’m going to college. Or maybe happy isn’t the right word really, content is more accurate, which is still an emotion but there still the fact that content is (considering how you view the spectrum of emotion) the closest to nothing on a happy scale you can get. But there’s the argument that it is the best thing on the scale, considering that “happy” to put it in broad terms (or maybe specific? I don’t know how that phrase goes honestly) is more like an adrenaline high, or runners high, you just feel euphoria and then it declines, generally speaking at least. While on the other hand being content is just that, content, there’s not as crazy ups and downs, it’s just there. But here’s the thing that makes that statement wrong... feeling worse than nothing. I’m not sure if many people really have ever felt worse than nothing, but that’s the lowest low you can get, and that’s kinda why I have to wright this, it’s all just something I have to do to feel like I’m not completely gone, like I’m about to just drop off into nothing and become just a shell of a human, and the only things that happen to shells in a long path that ends early, and that scares me. I don’t want to end off like that, but there’s also the fact of what if I do get married, I love maria, but I don’t know if I could have kids. I was never really taught how to raise kids, but I know I couldn’t abandon them, yet I don’t want my lineage to continue, if I truly have a brother than if he wants to have kids good for him, if not, oh well. I don’t want any more people like my father to be around.

Here’s something else though, I don’t know if I ever truly mourned my mom. Maybe there’s some part of me that won’t accept that. Considering I constantly am waiting to see her once again. It’s a terrifying thought to have my mother come back but it also makes me happy, like I’m an “oh, honey, I’m so sorry I picked you up late, I hope you didn’t worry to badly” kind of way. And it really really fucking hurts. So many people get to go home to their mom and/or dad, they get to see them, and when they get older they have a plethora of memories to remember them by. But I didn’t get that, what I got was lost. My dad never being around hurt, a lot. But my mom just doesn’t add up. She was a nurse, she understood the dangers of what might happen if she didn’t go to the doctor, I feel like I remember asking a lot if she was okay, but really why did I have to ask, shouldn’t she have known and tried to get help, did she mean to die, and for what, if it was to give me a chance than fuck that, I’d rather have her, but there’s also the chance she just wanted to get away, she lost her dream, and I feel like I killed it in a way, there’s no way I was wanted originally, and I know my mom cared about me considering she gave up drugs, drinking, and alcohol (all quite cold turkey just FYI once she found out she was having me), but maybe she really knew there couldn’t be another one like my dad, maybe she’s always done what’s best for me but I still don’t know. I would just do anything to have her back, even for a second to tell her I love her, she was amazing, and I want her to just sing to me one last time, she had a beautiful singing voice. No wonder she got to tour with easy street and date that one dude in the band. But that’s the end of that, it’s currently 4:34 and I don’t know if I’m sleeping tonight but we will see. Goodnight Nightvale, Goodnight ...

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