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#I was already doing bad from everything that was happening and then and then
xianyoon · 2 days
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you're not that bad of a study partner
xiao diluc kaeya childe wriothesley lyney alhaitham x gn!reader studying with them. romantic fluff. reupload from my previous blog ; @.i23kazu.
[ ♡ ] xiao
he's the one who has the noise-cancellation headphones, blacklisted apps activated kind of student. everything is on lockdown and on do not disturb mode – he doesn't even get texts from his parents – please don't disturb him. poke him with your pen and you'll just see him roll his eyes at you– no, seriously- it's not worth it! admittedly, xiao is also a really good student ; always on task, even for the subjects that he absolutely despises. ask him to tutor you and he might grumble and groan, but what happens when the tutor falls in love with his student? only one way to find out.
[ ♡ ] diluc
possibly the class rep and one of the harder ones to get close to. studying with him is a express ticket to resources that teachers had given him because of his high-class status. he's not proud of it – diluc genuinely believes that each student deserves the chance to have the same access as him – which is why he's willing to share it with you as well. we didn't even have to meet up, you could just have sent it over- you whine, but the tinge of crimson on his cheeks is a telltale sign that perhaps he needed- no, wanted, this excuse.
[ ♡ ] kaeya
the teasy study buddy. watch him annoy the hell out of you– of course you know he's teasing, but sometimes it hurts. "haha, i thought i taught you this already? does the little bunny not have enough space in there?" he taps your head with his pen. it's only when your face crumples and you start to mumble out apologies, teardrops cockling your paper – that he panics. "shit- i'm so sorry– how can i make it better?" he wipes your tears away gently with his thumbs – a true gentleman owns up to his mistakes. he makes it up with a sweet kiss and a stack of gift cards to your favourite cafes.
[ ♡ ] childe
he's the study partner friend who keeps you going, truly. if sunshine was bottled up and wrapped with a bow and had an orange cap, it would be childe! watching your face fall after staring at algebra simply won't do for him, no, no. let him lead you as he tugs on your hands outside of the study room, and just let your feet follow in his footsteps – you'll find yourself outside the library cafe. he takes out his wallet from his pocket and grins at you. "alright, it's on me! what do you want?" maybe his wallet is a little lighter, but so is his heart, once he sees your face light up.
[ ♡ ] wriothesley
wriothesley is the one who has it all planned out. first, you'll start studying at 10pm... which is a little late, but it's alright. you'll get tired around midnight, which will be when he offers you the first cup of warm chamomile. "won't this put me to sleep?" you whine, accepting it from him anyways. he chuckles and runs his hands through your hair, replying that it's never worked on him. true enough, you start getting sleepy around half past one – finally leaning against his shoulder, your arms going slack. kissing your head, he drapes a blanket around you. good night.
[ ♡ ] lyney
the one who sits besides you, cracking jokes every now and then! but when it's time to study, he can buckle down and start doing work –that's just lyney – the human on and off switch. there's something about him doing work while twirling his poker cards in his hands that's just so mesmerising – a stare a moment too long catches his eye, and he immediately jumps into doing a trick for you. get back to work!, you laugh and playfully swat his shoulder, turning back to your own paper. he chuckles in return, and unbeknownst to you, turns back to look at his own work with a smile.
[ ♡ ] alhaitham
alhaitham can be stricter as a study buddy – he's stern with distractions, wanting you to keep your phone to the side as he's explaining concepts – yes, concepts you learnt, but never understood. "hey, eyes here. did you understand, or do i need to go through it again?" he sounds bored, and you feel sorry for him. you mumble a soft i understand back, and he sighs and tells you to take a break. "look up." your eyes trail up from your tear-soaked papers, and instinctively close as he presses a sweet kiss to your forehead. "please believe in yourself just as i believe in you." he utters softly. you've never seen alhaitham act so tenderly before.
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ikeuverse · 1 day
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YOU'RE MY PROBLEM — l.heeseung
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PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader GENRES: angst, fluff, humor, suggestive WC: 11.6k+
WARNINGS: swearing, arguing, cheating, divorce, mention of drinking. slightly smut in that there is a section (albeit brief) describing almost – very almost – sex.
NOTES: idk what's going on, but heeseung's been on my mind a lot these days. 2nd plot in less than two weeks and he's the owner of everything! at first this was going to have a smut, but i felt it would be too long and idk if it turned out that well, so maybe it could happen in a second part that isn't even final. but that's it for now, i hope you like it!
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"What's your problem?" that intonation was already typical when directed at you, but it still never failed to send a chill down your spine.
Sighing, you got up from the living room floor and smiled at the little boy in front of you, trying not to focus your gaze on the man next to the sofa.
"Can't you do your job properly for once?" he said to you again as he followed you into the downstairs bathroom, and you tried to ignore him as much as possible to put the first aid kit away in the drawer and leave the room. But he blocked the door.
"Can you come out, please? I want to go through" you asked, looking at him for the first time.
"I asked you what your fucking problem is" he leaned over and gritted his teeth, now he could cuss since he wasn't next to his younger brother.
"And I asked you to leave" you leaned in too, almost touching the tip of your nose to his chin because of the height difference. This caught the man completely off guard and he took a few steps back, clearing the way for you to leave the bathroom and walk into the living room.
It wasn't a horrible accident, you weren't a terrible babysitter for nine-year-old Hajun. But his older brother, Heeseung, had been a pain in the ass ever since you first set foot in the Lee house.
And it wasn't as if you'd done anything because Mrs. Lee always praised your work highly and you even did a few extra periods just to play with Hajun or stay with him when there were family problems. These, more often than not, were your suspicions as to why the Lee family had hired a nanny for their youngest, and also why Heeseung seemed so down on life. Especially with you.
It was typical for him to make some sarcastic comment, and roll his eyes when you excitedly answered something his mother had asked. Or even mutter a swear word when Hajun chooses to go out with you instead of his own brother. Jealous? Or that intensified the anger Heeseung felt even more, you just didn't want it to be directed completely at you. In your mind, Heeseung was already like that because of something that happened in the family – and you'd always been curious to ask, you just didn't have the courage – so, because you were the only person who was easy to get along with apart from his mother and younger brother, the boy only had you to put it all out there.
You weren't such a bad listener, you could call Heeseung to sit down after your babysitting shift and tell him everything that was bothering you. Why he was so angry and, most importantly, why did he seem to hate you? Your memory tried to capture a moment when you could have given him a curt reply, a grimace or simply been rude, but no.
As soon as you arrived and introduced yourself as Hajun's new nanny, Heeseung just rolled his eyes and left the room.
"Don't worry about him, Y/n" Mrs. Lee smiled lovingly at you "Heeseung is going through a difficult process, I think he'll get better soon. He's sweet."
You hoped he would be. And you waited for months to see that Heeseung was still the same... Maybe his process would take forever and you would have been chosen to be his punching bag. 
But one day it would get tiresome. Surely you knew that you would respond in full, even if you were afraid of losing your job because he might be able to get his mother's head around firing you. 
Back in the living room, you smiled at Hajun when you saw the little boy smile at you too. Your gaze completely ignored Heeseung sitting in the armchair next to his brother.
"Come on Y/n, I was telling Seungie how I fell in the park earlier" the little boy had no idea what had happened minutes ago between you and Heeseung, and you preferred it that way. Your priority was always to protect Hajun and be with him.
You sat down next to him, feeling Hajun's small hands wrap around yours.
"So I went to play ball with some boys, but Y/n told me not to go barefoot because it could be dangerous for me" Hajun formed a pout on his lips as he looked away from Heeseung to his bruised knee, now completely clean and bandaged "And I didn't listen" Hajun looked at you now, showing his newly grown teeth "Do you forgive me, Y/n?"
"Oh, of course" you hugged him as he laid his head on your shoulder.
Heeseung huffed from the other side of the sofa, running his hand through his hair impatiently.
"Anyway, do your job properly next time" he got up and left the room, leaving you with Hajun as he climbed the stairs with his feet tapping.
You felt the younger man move beside you, looking into your eyes while still smiling. Hajun was an amazing child and you felt your heart sink every time you thought that, if it wasn't for you, he might be alone in this house.
Not completely alone, Heeseung worked in his room a few days a week and Hajun could ask his brother for help with anything, as he was extremely protective of the youngest. But if it wasn't for you, the little one wouldn't do his homework. He couldn't go out to the park in the next block, let alone go to the movies in the late afternoon because he was too bored to do anything indoors.
Thanks to you, Hajun had company every day. And that was the thought you had when Mrs. Lee hired you to keep him company.
"Ignore him" Hajun's voice brought you out of your thoughts and back to the reality you were in at that very moment. The little boy was already standing in the middle of the room "Heeseung is a pain in the ass when he wants to be."
"Hey, watch your mouth, young man" you laughed when he grimaced.
"Seriously, after—" Hajun sighed, looking at you "Never mind."
"You know you can tell me whenever you want, right?" you stood up too, walking over to him to ruffle the younger man's dark hair.
Hajun nodded, smiling at you and asking you to make him a brownie. Because he deserved it and he was hurting. This made you laugh because, although the mood changed drastically in that house, you knew that he always tried to take everything in good humor. 
Hajun's slip in the previous few minutes only made you even more certain that something was going on, and your heart squeezed to see that he was aware of the problems within his own house even at his young age. So, more than ever, your determination to take care of him spoke louder. Because Hajun was your priority in that house. And that would always be the case.
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With your head in your hands, you felt like screaming as you stared at the computer in front of you. Life as a university student was complete shit, even more so when you were forced to start a project and didn't even know where to begin.
Your two best friends were sitting right in front of you with their projects very well developed, but it was as if only your head was short-circuiting because nothing was good enough.
"You're going to tear your hair out soon" Jake leaned over the table to pull one of your hands away from your face, taking his attention away from his project.
"Can I rip my head off?" you almost cried as you looked at him, both of you looking away to Ryunjin sitting next to you.
"Why are you like this?" she asked.
"Is it because of the project?" Jake was already sitting properly in his seat, his eyes still on you and Ryunjin too. You nodded in agreement, swallowing dryly when the girl sighed.
"Or is it for someone else?" Ryunjin emphasized the question when she looked at you.
The table was now a little chaotic with Ryunjin peeking out with a smile on her lips, you trying to wiggle out of it and Jake looking between the two friends like a lost puppy.
"What the fuck is going on? Because I think I've lost something" the boy finally said.
"Heeseung, again" Ryunjin answered for you "He's still being an asshole to Y/n. Hasn't your little friend said anything worthwhile to let us know what happened?"
Jake opened and closed his mouth to answer but to no avail. He was a friend of Heeseung's, fortunately, or unfortunately, the boy went to the same university as you. Being Jake's friend, he once let slip that his mother was looking for someone to look after Hajun. And since you needed money... you could just combine the useful with the pleasant.
But your friend seemed to be as lost as you were, or at least he pretended very well. As one of Heeseung's best friends, it would be difficult for him to tell you if something was going on that could involve you. But he was also your best friend. This standoff with Jake could leave you confused and feeling bad on both sides, which is why you never pressured him to tell you anything.
"He's just having some problems" Jake tried to be vague on the subject.
"He's the problem, Jake" you closed your computer, giving up on working on a project you knew would come to nothing. Your head was full – unfortunately of annoyance about Heeseung – and nothing could make you concentrate on the moment "He was really rude to me last time, you know?"
He knew.
He listened to Heeseung swear for ten minutes about how you could let Hajun get hurt. Then he let his friend cool off and tried to argue that it wasn't your fault. Heeseung understood and even pondered whether he had been too hard on you.
"I... No, what did he do?" Jake nibbled his lower lip to suppress a sigh as he began to listen to everything he had to say.
From his perspective it wasn't your fault, Heeseung was too hard on you and anything you did. Sometimes Jake felt like telling you everything, telling you how many times he'd lost count by cursing Heeseung for his behavior. Or wanting to punch him just because his friend took out his frustrations on the wrong things.
"You need to talk to him to stop being like that with Y/n" Ryunjin caught Jake's eye, making him look at her "Or I'll shove some architectural material up his ass. Name one."
"A piece of concrete?" Jake frowned. He had no idea which materials were architectural, Heeseung did that course, not him. Jake was a computer scientist, just like Ryunjin.
She smiled with satisfaction at the answer and then looked at you.
"Now don't think about him and focus on your project, my love" Ryunjin reached out to touch your hand gently "I bet your designers are going to be amazing."
"We can't wait to see it" Jake also celebrated, taking your other hand and running his thumb over the back of it in affectionate contact.
Even with all the stuff going on in your life, the daily stress of dealing with the older brother of the little boy you were looking after, being in the presence of your friends seemed to cure everything and then some. Even though Jake was Heeseung's friend, that didn't change the way your friend treated you or how much he wanted to see you well. 
Ever since these disagreements between you and Heeseung started happening, Jake made it clear to both parties that he didn't want to be a part of it. Ryunjin even complained once that she would be part of it and still defend you, but no one listened – thankfully. 
After some time exchanging glances with your friends and smiling, you decided to focus on your project because, even if time was in your favor and the deadline was a month away, being prepared and ahead of schedule was your motto.
Taking advantage of a few vacant classes at college was perfect for going to a remote table on campus and working on whatever it was. These get-togethers with your friends were what got you out of stressful and bad times, even if you saw them on some weekends or in some classes. Just sitting there, chatting away regardless of the subject, made you feel a little better.
"Jake, dude, I finally found you" the voice took you away from your more peaceful thoughts and gratitude for your friends to focus forward. The boy whose name had been called stared after you with soft eyes, but as soon as he noticed your gaze on him, Jake's eyes widened slightly "Are you studying?"
Heeseung's voice was unmistakable to you. And at that moment you wanted to dig a hole and hide, or run out of there just so you wouldn't have the pleasure of bumping into the boy at his study table.
"Tidying up projects" Jake hissed, squeezing Ryunjin's leg under the table when he felt his friend move in her place. Her gaze was locked on Heeseung so angrily, yet the boy didn't notice, too distressed to find Jake.
"Can I join you here?" he asked "I need to finish some university homework and then we need to meet Jay for a game of basketball."
"Sure" Jake gave a small smile and beckoned Heeseung to sit down.
No. Not. Jake and Ryunjin were sitting next to each other, so the only vacant seat was right next to you.
Heeseung sat down without looking in their direction. He smiled at Ryunjin as a silent greeting, but she took it in her stride and ended up nodding at him politely after looking at you at the same moment Heeseung did.
The boy's eyes could come out of their orbs if it were possible, the way he opened them. Fidgeting uncomfortably on the bench next to you, he was in a bit of shock, even looking a little vulnerable given the circumstances that Heeseung always looked fierce when he was around you at his house.
"Y/n?" he asked, afraid that you were real.
"Hey" you said quietly.
He didn't know what to say, how could he forget that Jake was always with you on campus if you weren't with him? Why didn't Heeseung check out the people at that table before he sat down?
There were so many questions circling his mind that, as the boy saw you ignore him to open the computer and focus on your study, maybe he should do the same.
Focusing on his university homework while he waited for Jake to finish his project and then meet his other friends was what he had to do. All Heeseung had to do was answer a few questions that the teacher had given him in class and hope that his friend would finish as quickly as possible.
"Heeseung" Ryunjin called out after a while, her gaze flicking between him and you. You both looked very uncomfortable next to each other and it was so clear. Even more so after he arrived and didn't greet you properly, it wouldn't go unnoticed by your best friend.
"Hey, Ryunjin" he tried to smile amiably, almost feeling a shiver run down his spine when she leaned over the table, resting her elbows on the stone. She smiled strangely; he had seen it before when the girl was sarcastic or about to fight with someone. Was she going to fight with him?
"Is there concrete in your course building?" she asked.
Heeseung frowned in complete confusion. That question had no basis in fact, but at least she wasn't angry with him, so he could relax a little and not feel any more chills as the girl still stared at him.
"We have several, will you need them?"
"Yes" she said.
"Sure, but what for?" when Heeseung asked and Ryunjin was about to answer, you quickly closed your computer. Praying that everything was intact even with the small bang.
This startled the three at the table – even you – so you got up and grabbed your backpack.
"I remembered that I need to go with Ryunjin to the library, now" your emphasis was a complete answer to the fact that your friend would have to follow you. Jake was grateful that she obeyed, even if it was against her will, putting her things away as she picked up the backpack to leave.
"Why did she want concrete?" Heeseung looked at Jake after you and Ryunjin left, laughing quietly and focusing on the questions he needed to answer, missing his friend's gaze, which was a little shocked.
"I have no idea" Jake lied.
Or omitted, exactly. Heeseung didn't need to know the intentions of the girl who had ranted at him minutes before he arrived at the table.
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Of all the things Heeseung wanted to put out of his mind, one was to know exactly where to find the person who had hurt him the most. Who broke up the perfect family he thought he had.
Heeseung wanted to be able not to remember the bar his father frequented, but here he was. Across the street watching the large glass windows, and inside the establishment, people were drinking and celebrating something.
He was drinking too. He was already on his third bottle and brought the glass up to his lips to finish off the bitter liquid which, at this point, no longer had any effect. Heeseung was focused on the male figure who was laughing and raising his glass of alcohol to talk to some other men. So this was how his father looked every Thursday night before going home. That's how Heeseung followed him one night, tired of seeing his father come home late only to catch him drinking in that damn bar, with a woman sitting on his lap who must have been Heeseung's age.
His father didn't see him he didn't want to cause a fuss and make his mother even more worried because, frankly, Heeseung was on the other side of town and late at night. But he couldn't hide it when he got home and told his mother. She was an amazing woman and didn't deserve the kind of thing that was happening right behind his back and that of the whole family.
Heeseung didn't know that he could feel as strongly repulsed by someone as he did by the man who, at that moment, staggered out of the bar with another woman hanging around his neck.
He felt nauseous, wanting to throw up the beers he had bought while his eyes stung and blurred. But the figure of the man on the other side who was dialing something on his cell phone was clear, waiting for the app car together with another woman. She was different from the woman Heeseung first caught him with, so his father was with a different one every time. That was even more disgusting.
"Let's go to my apartment, baby" he laughed out loud as soon as the car arrived, letting the woman get in first and him follow behind. Leaving Heeseung's sight as the car pulled away.
"Fucker" Heeseung kicked the glass bottle against the sidewalk to break it instantly.
The tears were already rolling freely down his face and he didn't care that he was crying, he'd held it in for so long since the last two days. He stayed in his room so that he could cry in peace without his mother or Hajun noticing. He didn't want to worry them because he was now the oldest male figure there. While his mother worked all the time at the company, Heeseung needed to be there for Hajun even if you were with him. 
His thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of Heeseung's cell phone, startling him briefly as he picked it up to see who was calling. His mother. 
Involuntarily, a sad smile formed amidst the tears and he didn't think twice about answering the call.
"Hi son, where are you?" she asked on the other end of the line.
"I came for a walk" he struggled to keep his voice from sounding so sad and tearful, clearing his throat as he sniffled "Is everything all right? Do you need anything?"
"Everything's fine, don't worry" she laughed, making Heeseung laugh too. That laugh that he missed, knowing that it was slowly coming back "It's just that a great opportunity has arisen to close a deal with another partner in the company and I'm going to have to travel to the neighboring city for a week."
"And Hajun?" he asked.
"I've just spoken to Y/n, she's going to sleep at home" his mother just passed on the information, showing that the decision had already been made. And even if it wasn't, Heeseung couldn't do much since he knew that his younger brother needed the nanny's care. He couldn't be available to look after Hajun.
"All right" he said afterward, "I'm coming home."
"Okay, my son. Come back carefully, okay?" she seemed to be smiling as she spoke, which warmed Heeseung's heart "Be a good boy with the two of them at home, please."
"I will" he replied "Bye mom, I love you."
"I love you more, my boy" and saying that, she hung up.
Heeseung felt less bad about his mother's call, but he still couldn't forget the scene he had seen a few minutes ago. He knew that his mother was moving on and accepting the divorce as best she could, but Heeseung couldn't forgive the betrayal. The way his father had acted in the face of everything. He hadn't spoken to the man since he found out, choosing to ignore his calls and messages and telling his mother not to go to the university. Heeseung didn't want to see him. He'd rather pretend he'd never met or lived with a lying father than have to say anything to the man.
Maybe he needed to go home like he said he would. His head was already beginning to buzz with disparaging and angry thoughts, which he wanted to get rid of quickly. 
A hot bath and a video game were all Heeseung needed at the moment to feel cleansed of everything he had witnessed that day. Not that it had been much, but he hadn't come home from university. He hadn't arrived at the same time as Hajun from school so that he could have lunch with him. Heeseung wandered around every familiar corner until he stopped at an app car and went straight to that damn bar. Now it was time to get another app car and go home.
Heeseung felt angry with himself for letting anger take over every fiber of his body, while he could do the same as his mother. Or even Hajun, who was already asking less about the man daily. Perhaps the younger brother wouldn't even remember his father if he wasn't mentioned, and the elder wanted it that way. He wanted his brother not to have the proximity he had to see how disgusting and untruthful the man who once lived with them was.
"Thank you" Heeseung thanked the driver as soon as he pulled up in front of his house, getting out of the car and waving quickly.
He took slow steps to the front door to see that everything was dark, you had probably already put Hajun to bed and that would be a relief. The two of you would be asleep and you wouldn't see the deplorable state that Heeseung had arrived home in.
In as much silence as he could manage, he unlocked the door and opened it, then locked it and looked around. Absolute silence inside the house. It brought Heeseung a little peace to think that the motherfucker he had seen earlier would never set foot in his house again.
He took off his shoes and the jacket he was wearing, throwing the garment on the sofa and feeling his body begin to tire. His throat was dry from the beers and from crying, his eyes would surely swell up because of it and Heeseung always forgot that fact. It was a pain. So maybe a little water would at least save his throat; he'd deal with his morning appearance later.
Heeseung walked to the kitchen only to feel a scream escape his mouth as the fridge door slammed shut. 
"Fuck" he put his hand over his chest as he looked at your equally frightened figure. You had also let out a little scream, but he only heard his own because his ears were ringing "Why is everything out?" he asked when he saw you moving away from the fridge.
"I thought you'd already arrived, I didn't want to disturb you" you held up the bottle of juice, probably something you'd drink while you were there until you fell asleep.
Heeseung just nodded and walked over to the light switch, squeezing his eyes shut along with you when the brightness hit. It didn't take long to get used to it before he looked at you, swallowing dryly as you looked back at him.
"Is everything okay?" you asked. Heeseung was going to ask why but forgot that his eyes and the tip of his nose were probably red because he had been crying.
Shit. Continuing with the light off could have been better.
"I don't want to talk about it" he replied immediately, his nervous tone returning as Heeseung looked away from you.
"Heeseung—"
"You're here to look after Hajun, right?" turning to look at you, Heeseung felt his eyes misting up again. He didn't know why he felt like crying while standing in front of you, one of the only people he didn't want to show himself vulnerable to apart from his younger brother and his mother "So why don't you do your job, and stop asking questions?"
For a split second, Heeseung saw your shoulders slump, the bottle of juice resting on the sink and your lips parting to say something. He blinked a few times to keep the tears from falling.
"What's your problem?" you finally said to him, your chest aching and your heart beating fast from nervousness "I have no idea what's happened to you" with each word, you took a tiny step towards him because Heeseung was blocking the passage from the kitchen worktop to the main door to leave the room. You had no choice but to approach him "But don't take your frustrations out on me!" you wanted to shout the last sentence, but out of respect for Hajun and for him being asleep, all you did was poke his chest a little harder. Pushing your index finger in there.
Heeseung closed his eyes as he felt your finger pushing him, but before you could push him away, he grabbed your hand. 
Your eyes widened at him because that was the first touch the two of you had shared since you started working at the Lee family home. His fingers were warm against your wrist and you wanted to struggle to get out of his grip, but without a doubt, Heeseung was stronger and faster. Pulling your body against his and wrapping his other arm around your waist.
It would be foolish to ask what or why, and even more foolish to try to get out of there because with every reluctant movement you made, he pulled your body even tighter against him. He tilted his face towards you, lowering it enough to touch his forehead to yours, and you took the opportunity to lean in and meet his lips halfway. 
The touch of Heeseung's lips was soft, his tongue pressing against your bottom lip was electrifying and when he wrapped the muscle around yours, you could taste the lingering taste of beer in his mouth. It wasn't as if you'd never drunk before, but feeling the alcohol in someone else's mouth, Heeseung's had made your whole body shiver.
He pulled your body closer until his big hands and firm fingers pressed your waist to your butt. Giving small touches to your thigh, he wanted to signal you to jump into his lap, and without disobeying you did so, already knowing that your butt would be in contact with the cold marble countertop in the kitchen. 
Your legs wrapped around Heeseung's waist and body to pull him closer while you lost yourself in his lips. It would be a lie to say that he didn't notice every detail of your face, and you would also be a hypocrite to say that you didn't look at him a little more closely when he wasn't looking at you. But feeling the softness of those lips that were always frowning in your direction was wonderful.
Heeseung lowered his lips to your chin and kissed down to your jaw, then down to your neck, and like a damn pro, he hit exactly the spot that made your whole body shudder. Your reaction couldn't have been different, letting out a sly moan and clamping your legs even tighter around him. When Heeseung's body tightened between your legs, he instinctively moved his hips towards your, thrusting his hips to give your better friction between his legs. 
Your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging at each strand while your mouth worked wonders on his skin down to his collarbone. 
He moved his hips again, this time you could feel Heeseung's semi-hard cock pressing against your pajama-clad pussy. Moaning once more, you tugged on his hair as he lifted his head to kiss you again.
It was breathtaking how he felt between your legs, taken by your lips and touching your body with his fingertips. Your waist was perfect, fitting exactly between his palms as he pressed you even tighter against him. It was Heeseung's turn to moan against your lips when you planted your feet on his lower back to press Heeseung's hips even tighter against yours, nibbling on his lower lip to catch your breath.
"Y/n" he moaned your name and you almost whimpered and asked him to rip off all your clothes and fuck you right there. Heeseung would do it for sure, you wouldn't even think of denying it because of the way he was squeezing every curve of your body and chasing his lips to kiss you again.
If it hadn't been for the incessant crying upstairs. The two of you separated for a few seconds to see if you had heard the same thing. Heeseung's eyes traveled to yours and then to the kitchen door, hearing Hajun's crying again.
With great difficulty, he climbed out from between your legs, feeling the loss of contact grow cold between his fingers as he took a few steps back and took your hand to help you down from the worktop. Heeseung looked at you a little better this time. Lips reddened and the skin on your neck the same, a few bite marks he'd left while kissing there made him smile a little sideways as he saw your eyes go down to his cock.
"Oh" Heeseung threw his oversized blouse over it, even though it only covered half of his lower body, but he couldn't stop it. 
You'd even tease him about how beautiful he looked with his hair messed up – by you – and his red mouth too inviting to keep kissing. But Hajun had called your name, taking you away from all the unholy thoughts you were having in the kitchen with Heeseung.
"Shit" you turned away from Heeseung and watched him throw his head back, as frustrated as you were to get it over with as the two of you ran to the top of the stairs. Climbing each step a little faster until you entered Hajun's room and were followed by his older brother "Hey, I'm here."
"I had a bad dream, Y/n" he was crying, hugging your body quickly as soon as you sat on the edge of the bed.
You kissed the top of Hajun's head and looked at the door, beckoning Heeseung to come in too. And so he did.
"Hey buddy, are you okay?" Heeseung knelt beside the bed where you were sitting with Hajun.
"Seungie" the younger man pulled out of your embrace, this time choosing to hug his brother, "I had a bad dream."
"Do you want to tell us what it was like?" Heeseung asked.
Hajun remained quiet for a while still hugging Heeseung, probably calming down from the fright he'd had as he got out of his brother's arms and lay back on the bed. You dried the stubborn tears from his face with such a gentle touch, that it made Heeseung wonder if you would have done the same for him if you had seen him cry earlier.
What kind of fucking thought is that, Heeseung? He pushed any thoughts of this aside and focused on the scene in front of him, seeing that Hajun looked a little calmer as he sighed.
"I dreamt about my father" the mention of the man, made Heeseung's jaw clenched, and he wanted to curse himself so much for seeing that your eyes were on him now. Surely this could come up as a topic of conversation or, worse, now you could find out about his father. And that was a subject Heeseung didn't want anyone to know about.
"And do you remember what it was like?" you asked.
"Never mind, Hajun's tired—"
"He fought with me in the dream" Hajun interrupted Heeseung who was already on his feet, he didn't want to pace around while listening to his brother's dream "And then I saw him beating up Seungie and leaving the house with my favorite teddy bear."
Before Hajun could cry again, you grabbed one of his hands and kissed it.
"It was just a dream, it won't happen, Junie" trying to reassure the little boy that it would never happen was easier than you thought. He smiled at you.
"Promise you won't let it happen? That you'll look after me, but Heeseung too?"
Hajun's eyes were so pleading and piteous. You wondered if Heeseung did the same thing when he wanted something. But also, you wondered why that had been said. Why had Hajun asked you to do that kind of thing?
Your lack of words made Heeseung restless, moving from side to side until he went to the bedroom door. Perhaps you had been clear in your attitude that you were only there to look after Hajun. He just didn't know why it was bothering him so much, leaving a slight tightness in his chest. It could be because of his brother's dream, of course! That was it, wasn't it? Or was it his lack of an answer?
Heeseung didn't want to think too much, he didn't want to let anything get to him. But he was completely wrong when standing in the doorway of Hajun's room, he heard you.
"I promise, Junie."
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If before it was inevitable not to look at you while you were around, now it seemed impossible for Heeseung to look away from you. Even having to spend a whole week with just you, him, and Hajun. 
The boy had the vivid memory of your lips against him in that kitchen every time he saw you say something. Your mouth moved to answer something his younger brother or talk on the phone to his mother because she called and wanted to know if everything was okay. Heeseung wanted to curse himself for remembering the sounds you made and how he felt when he got between your legs. It might have sounded pathetic to any guy who said it out loud, especially if it was about you.
He'd certainly heard half an hour of Jake's lecture about what had happened, especially as he didn't dare to say much afterward.
"She thinks I'm an idiot, then?" Heeseung asked.
"More than usual? Absolutely" Jake wanted to throw anything in his hand at his friend's head, especially after he saw the gleam in Heeseung's eye when he talked about you.
It was clear that all that denial was turning into attraction and Sim knew it would, he didn't read the silly novels that Ryunjin pushed at him for nothing, something would have to do and sure enough, it was the analysis he'd done on your – unofficial – relationship with Heeseung. Something he kept quiet until his older friend opened his mouth and told him everything.
At first, the kiss had been something that had shocked Jake, after all, Heeseung couldn't spend two seconds next to you without an argument breaking out. But as he went on to tell you about the events and how he had been acting around you during that week, something in Jake clicked. It wasn't necessarily a crush, but something in Heeseung about finding you attractive or starting to take a romantic interest in you.
"That's got to be a joke, doesn't it?" Heeseung turned to Jake and then looked at Sunghoon, another friend of the two of them who always listened to the lamentations and frustrations about how Heeseung had argued – again – with you.
"Firstly, you didn't deny it at any point when Jake talked about you being attracted to Y/n ever since we arrived" Sunghoon leaned back even further in the café chair, holding back a smile when he saw his friend's eyes go wide "Secondly, you kissed her, like, do you do that with someone you can't stand?"
Heeseung wanted to say yes, that was exactly it. It would be normal to kiss someone he can't stand, right? But the question would be... Why can't he stand himself? 
After keeping quiet for a while, he tried to forget how right his friends were because he didn't want to dwell on something he was struggling to forget, especially since his mother's week away was over and that meant you'd be going back home. No more seeing you at home all the time, at least not alone. This would give him time to think more calmly and put all his thoughts in order, which could make him even more confused if it were possible.
Sighing heavily after returning from university, Heeseung just wanted to throw himself on his bed and forget about all that mental confusion for the next few days. Isolate himself, do his homework, and pretend you weren't downstairs in his house. Maybe that would be easy. Maybe he could ignore it a little and try not to run around looking like an idiot in front of you because he's had a whole week, uninterrupted, to say a single word to you. But no, Heeseung couldn't.
At least he said good morning and smiled at you every day while you were with Hajun, right? You shouldn't smile back, you shouldn't make him almost scream internally because you were being nice to him. 
Shit, Heeseung. You sound like a teenager, you idiot. He might even have continued talking in his head if it hadn't been for the voices coming from the living room. 
Heeseung didn't want to think that he had arrived at his house after you and that he would see the scene of you fooling around with Hajun. He tried to run as far as he could when Jake gave him a lift so he wouldn't have to wait for you to get home and have lunch with you. At least not that day. But to the boy's surprise, the voices were much more different than his own. 
And he knew – unfortunately – who it was.
"Look, you're here" in the old days, Heeseung would have given anything to hear that voice cheerfully after coming home from school, perhaps if he were in eighth grade again. But coming home from university with a sick feeling in his stomach, he just wanted to throw up as he looked at his father.
"Son" his mother got up from the sofa where she was, not so close to his father, and they both seemed to be having an amicable conversation before Heeseung arrived.
"What are you doing here?" he asked directly to the man who was trying to smile in his direction.
"Your father called me yesterday, he misses you and Hajun" his mother had the sweetest voice of all, and on any occasion. Heeseung wanted to ask her how she was feeling in the presence of that man. It was impossible to have such a beautiful smile and calm voice after everything he had done.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" he knew that his pent-up anger would come out somehow, he just didn't want to explode in front of his mother. At least Hajun wasn't there.
"I asked your mother to spend a weekend with you and Hajun" he took a step forward to try to get closer to Heeseung. The boy did the same, mustering the only ounce of sanity he had not to slam his fist into the man's face. Unfortunately, it was still his father.
"I won't, and you won't get Hajun out of this house."
"Heeseung" his mother called out.
"What's your problem, Mom? Really?" Heeseung turned away from his father and walked to the middle of the room to approach his mother. It was almost like a plea when he let out, "After everything he's done, you still have the nerve to let him in and allow this? No!"
"He's still your father, my son" she smiled weakly "And it's only a weekend..."
"No" he said.
The protests could continue, Heeseung knew that this discussion would be so long that they would spend hours in that room. They shouted and protested that they wouldn't leave, but the door opened quickly.
Hajun's hurried footsteps and the conversation he was having with you were the reason the three of them shut up immediately.
"I can't do without this ice cream, Y/n. Please" Hajun whined. When you laughed, it was the only thing that could make Heeseung relax his shoulders, even if he didn't want to admit it. The sound of your laughter so close up awakened something in him.
"We can go to the other side of town after you've done your homework" you said, making the little boy giggle. Okay, maybe you were right, but he'd still convince you to go across town to the best ice cream parlor you and he had visited last week.
"Dad?" Hajun was the first to enter the room, looking at the scene before him. Upon hearing this, you took a few more hurried steps behind the little boy to be equally shocked by what you were seeing.
The father of the Lee family was there, for the first time since you started babysitting Hajun. Mrs. Lee had a small smile when she saw the little boy go towards her to hug him affectionately. But what caught your eye was Heeseung's furious look. That look you knew because it was the only thing you saw all that time, except when he looked at Hajun or his mother.
So Heeseung was angry at his father, the man who was smiling at you at that moment.
"Hello, you're..." he tried to make conversation when he saw that no one would say anything.
"Oh, I'm Y/n, Hajun's nanny" you approached to greet the smiling man, smiling too. But as soon as your hand almost touched him, a strong tug on your wrist made you stagger backward.
Your eyes quickly searched for the reason to find Heeseung already looking at you.
"Come up with Hajun, please" he ordered.
"Heeseung..."
"Not now, just go up with him" he whispered when he saw that Hajun was engaged in an awkward conversation with his father and mother "And stay there as long as you can."
"Are you okay?" Heeseung didn't want to have another clash of feelings at that moment, especially with your gaze so intensely on him. So he just nodded quickly and looked away to the other three.
"Junie, go upstairs with Y/n. I heard you need to do your homework..."
"But I wanted to meet the babysitter and, well, spend some time with your brother" the older man seemed quite nice, but if that was the reason Heeseung was clenching his hands into fists, it was certainly a false front.
"Hajun, go with Y/n" was the older brother's final word, and from the way the little boy didn't even question it, you knew it was something much more delicate.
As a silent apology, Mrs. Lee waved to you and Hajun before going upstairs to the youngest's room.
"Do you want to take a shower before you start your homework?" you asked, going to his closet to get some clothes that were more comfortable than his school uniform.
Searching for some sweat shorts and a T-shirt, you turned towards him to see Hajun's eyes redden and shine. Running up to the little one, you knelt in front of him before feeling little arms encircling your neck.
"Hey, hey, hey... Are you okay?" you whispered as you hugged him, sitting down on the floor to welcome the little one into a tight embrace.
"I don't like it, Y/n... I don't like it."
"What? What don't you like?" as you asked, your hands went straight to the little one's hair to stroke it as you let him cry in your embrace.
Hajun cried silently for a few minutes, sobbing softly as he felt a little safer in your arms.
"The last time Dad was here..." he sighed between whimpers, lifting his head a little to meet your face "He and Heeseung had a nasty fight, but neither of them knows that I know."
"Your mother knows?" you asked, Hajun agreed.
It was the night the betrayal came to light that Heeseung didn't want to put his mother through all that lying to sustain a marriage that was only for her. His father had been gone for a long time, or at least trying to maintain an appearance that didn't exist.
Hajun was supposed to be asleep that night, but Heeseung's furious shouts woke him up, causing him to get out of bed and open the bedroom door with a crack. Hearing the swearing and shouting, he also heard something. It sounded like a struggle. Mrs. Lee's crying aroused Hajun's despair and he almost went downstairs to see what was going on, why Heeseung was cursing his father. Hajun had never heard his older brother swear like that.
But before he could go downstairs, his mother stopped midway with watery eyes and a silent plea for him to go back to his room.
"Stay here, okay? And don't tell them about it" Hajun knew something was very wrong because he had never seen his mother cry. And after a few minutes, the fighting seemed to stop. 
The front door slammed hard and then Hajun tried to forget what had happened for so long until he only remembered after seeing his father's figure standing there in the middle of the room. They were flashes of the small event that was much bigger, and it made you even more curious because Hajun's words were few, even though they contained a lot of information since you were left in the dark when you arrived.
At least there was something to know, but it wasn't as if you needed to ask him everything either. You just wanted to protect him and you would do that, the questions could come later.
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"God, dude, stop drinking" Jake whined as Heeseung poured himself another glass, ignoring his friend's protests.
"Why?" he asked "As far as I remember, we came here because I'm sad and I need to get drunk."
"Drunk is fine, but not to the point of vomiting" Jake took another glass away from Heeseung "I'm taking you away and I don't want anyone vomiting in my car."
It was a fair point, but Heeseung didn't want to make a big deal out of it. He wanted to forget the last few weeks.
He wanted to forget that, unfortunately, his father had had a shitty, friendly talk with his mother, agreeing that he would take Hajun away for at least one weekend to go for a walk or do something nice. Even if the boy's fights and constant swearing came to nothing. He knew he couldn't stop it, not legally, so as long as nothing happened to the little boy, Heeseung vowed not to speak a word to his father. 
Then he became even more frustrated by your presence in his home, and this was because, as the days went by, he realized that he could feel something. Not even the slightest something for you. But what he didn't count on was the fury that went through his whole being when he saw you laughing with a boy in the university cafeteria. Heeseung hardly ever saw you there, or if he did, it was always with Ryunjin, so why did it bother him so much?
The last fact had been a state secret, none of his friends knew anything about it. So they attributed Heeseung's bad mood and sadness to the events with his father and how powerless he felt to let Hajun meet the man he hated most on the face of the earth.
"I might as well go home alone" Heeseung flashed all his pearly teeth in a childish grin when Sunghoon arrived with a few more glasses.
He was such a savior of the fatherland, making his sad friend, who just wanted to get drunk at that moment, happy.
"So why did you ask me for a ride?" Jake raised one eyebrow, smiling "Why did you say you wouldn't drive and I was supposed to take you back home?"
"Because you love me and would do anything for me" Heeseung picked up another glass and turned away from Jake to drink.
There was no point in arguing or stopping the tallest boy from drinking that night, not even Sunghoon could do it. The only way out was to surrender and let Heeseung enjoy as much as he could, even if Jake sneered every time the glass was against Lee's lips.
He wondered what the car would look like if it swayed too much while he was taking Heeseung home, or what he would look like in the back seat or even in the back if he had to take Sunghoon too.
And it was this scene that Jake found himself in, a few hours later, as he carried his two best friends out of the bar. Sunghoon was in the driver's seat to guide the way while Heeseung sat in the back seat, his legs wide apart and his head resting against the back of the seat.
Jake looked in the rearview mirror, afraid that some fluid would come out of Heeseung's mouth or that he would have to stop abruptly so that his friend would run off and vomit. But no, the journey continued normally until the three of them stopped in front of Lee's house. Meanwhile, Heeseung's mind was far away. Closed eyes had been a plague on his life for the past few weeks because every time it happened, your face would appear in his mind. It was something Heeseung tried at all costs to ignore. Something he swore to himself that if it happened again, he would have to take action.
And it was impossible not to think about you after the last scene he saw, your smile at that other boy still played like a memorized movie in his mind and even if you hadn't meant it, Heeseung had no right to feel that way. He was the one who had been a jerk to you all along, you couldn't be expected to be sweet to him about it. 
"Heeseung" Sunghoon called out, turning back to touch his friend's knee. He opened his eyes slowly, getting used to the idea of seeing his friend's face and not his own in his thoughts.
"What's up?" he asked as soon as he was off the bench and sitting properly.
"We're here" Jake said, turning off the car "Do you want us to go in with you?"
A while of silence was enough for Heeseung's mind to wander even further and, without realizing it, it had already come out of his mouth without giving him a chance to regret it.
"Take me to Y/n's house."
"What the fuck?" Sunghoon almost shouted. Jake turned around abruptly, almost hitting Sunghoon head-on.
"Dude, what the fuck? Why are you asking me this?" he asked.
Really, why was he asking this? Heeseung didn't have an effective explanation for it, much less did he think he should. He just felt like it.
"I don't know, I just need to see her now and..." a long sigh came from his lips, Heeseung allowed himself to run one hand through his hair as he looked at Jake and then at Sunghoon "I need to make up for the shit I've done and tell her that I can't stop thinking about her."
"Oh" the two friends said at the same time, Jake swallowing down the urge to shout and say that it was all part of the little novel he'd written in his head about you and Heeseung. But that would be something for future conversations.
"Only if you tell me something" Jake said.
"Whatever you want to know" since everything was screwed up, there was no point in hiding anything from his best friend.
"Your father wasn't the only reason we were at the bar hours ago, was he?"
The shy smile that Heeseung tried to hide by biting his lower lip said it all, he didn't need a specific word for Jake or Sunghoon. It was clear how exactly that said that you had also been a reason, even if neither of them knew what it was. 
Seeing Heeseung like that was new for the two boys sitting in the driver's and passenger's seats, so all that was left was for Jake to start the car again and drive to your apartment. Without asking Heeseung any questions about it. 
But nothing stopped Sunghoon from making fun of him the whole way.
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Words of encouragement were a mantra in the boy's mind who, with every step into the building where you lived, felt his whole body tremble. It was strange to be feeling this way, even more so for him who had never been this attached. Heeseung had never really thought that a girl could make him so nervous that he almost tripped over his own feet as he entered the elevator.
What could he say to you when he knocked on your door? That he wanted to see you? That would be something you wouldn't believe, even if it was the only truth he could tell you. 
It made Heeseung rethink everything he'd ever said to you and the way he'd treated you since he met you. He didn't mean to be rude and he knew that it was all a reflection of what he had experienced with his father's disagreements. You, unfortunately, were the only person around and he didn't want the sight of someone new coming into his house. Because the last person to come out from under that roof had made a huge stranger in his life.
Heeseung didn't want to give in to someone like you, who came so easily into the Lee family's life and won over even his mother. The way she talked to you, the way she treated you like a member of the family. Heeseung rolled his eyes every time his mother brought the same candies, but not just for him and Hajun, she brought them for you too. Or how affectionate she was with you when you were at his house, chatting like old friends and laughing at things he didn't understand. He didn't want to understand why his mother was so happy after finding out she had been betrayed while Heeseung was suffering and disgusted by his father's image.
It was something he hadn't understood until recently. Maybe all the answers were right in front of his eyes, he just didn't want to accept it yet. So he needed to throw his hands up in the air and knock on your door right then and there, and that's exactly what he did.
He didn't know how you would react and he didn't want to, just looking at you would be enough for him to smile and walk away. Maybe apologize and say some lame excuse the next day and hope you believed his words.
Heeseung heard footsteps from inside the apartment and some mumbling that you were already on your way, indicating that you weren't ready for visitors or were far enough away to answer the door. Apprehension gripped his entire body as he took a few steps closer to hear what was going on inside.
As soon as you opened it, finishing putting on one of the sleeves of your long coat, Heeseung's world seemed to stop right there.
You were beautiful. More beautiful than he'd ever seen you before. Sharing the same roof with you for a week when his mother went away gave him the right to see you in your pajamas practically every night, but he didn't know that you looked even more beautiful in light silk pajamas and wearing a wool coat to cover your exposed arms. 
"Heeseung?" your voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he looked at your face, the shock and curiosity screaming in your eyes making him feel euphoric. He didn't know what to say as he saw that you were still standing there, slightly startled by his presence.
He opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds to say something, but nothing seemed to come out. It was as if Heeseung had unlearned how to say anything because your gaze was making him shy.
When you took a step towards him, as if to get the attention of the boy in front of you, Heeseung didn't reason enough. He just raised one of his hands to touch the wool of your jacket and pulled you forward. The slow thud of your body against his made you let out a startled cry, which soon calmed down when Heeseung looked you in the eye.
"Jake gave me your address," he whispered "I needed to come here."
"Why?" your low voice sent all kinds of sensations through Heeseung's body and he wanted to be able to run away, but he limited himself. Squeezing his fingers against the wool of your jacket and loosening the fabric little by little.
"Because I want to talk to you, can we?" it was your time to deny it, tell him to go home and carry on without talking to Heeseung because a conversation with him would never end well.
But it wasn't like you to do anything you really should, so you gave him the go-ahead to enter your apartment and guide him to the sofa. Asking him to sit down before disappearing down the corridors. Just long enough for Heeseung to take off his jacket and put it on the armchair next to him, then sit down on the larger sofa and look around. Trying to get as many details as possible in case one day you asked him what he thought of your apartment.
Not that it mattered, he could say he'd need to go there more often to notice anything different. But remembering the first time you were here could be something useful and nice, perhaps.
"Here" you came back into the living room with a glass of water in your hands, walking over to the sofa where he was sitting and handing him the glass.
"Thanks" he said after taking the glass, drinking almost all the water in a matter of seconds. This was an indication of how nervous he still was after feeling your weight next to him on the sofa, the closest you'd been since the kiss you two had shared in the kitchen at his house.
Heeseung placed his glass on the coffee table and continued to stare at his own feet as he sighed slowly, clasping his hands together and playing with his fingers.
"My relationship with my father is the worst of all, and you've realized that haven't you?" you mumbled when he asked, albeit rhetorically, letting him continue his train of thought when he looked at you straight away "He cheated on my mother and ruined our family."
Oh. So that's why Heeseung was so harsh in his father's presence. And you couldn't understand how someone could betray Mrs. Lee, even if she was such an incredible woman.
"When my mother hired you, it was because she wanted to keep Hajun entertained most of the time and she knew I wouldn't be able to do that because I signed up for everything the university offered. Just so I wouldn't stay at home and have to deal with my father showing up."
Heeseung hated to lie that he had been neglectful to his younger brother about this, but he also couldn't risk bumping into his father and ending up fighting with the man in his younger brother's presence. That's when Mrs. Lee hired you as a nanny. Having someone to give the little one the attention that neither she nor Heeseung could be her priority. Someone you knew – even if you and Heeseung didn't speak to each other at the time – made the woman feel relieved because you seemed to have hit it off with the little one straight away.
"Seeing you integrate into the family made me feel angry because no one could like such a broken family with a false front" Heeseung was still looking at you, but his thoughts were a little more distant when he rambled "My mother wasn't happy when she hired you as a nanny. Hajun wasn't so happy when he met you and he only did it because my mother asked him to be nice to whoever was going to take care of him" a long sigh came from Heeseung's lips, looking away from you. "And I didn't accept that someone would be so nice to us because the last person who treated me, my brother, and my mother, so well, betrayed all of us."
You listened intently, seeing how broken Heeseung was inside your home. Opening his heart to you and asking for nothing in return.
He spoke for the first time about what it was like to have caught his father that night at the bar, how he felt the anger consume his body, and how he fought so many times until the man finally left the house. The divorce proceedings were kept under wraps because Hajun couldn't have known that something bad was going on, and your role was important in distracting him.
Heeseung admitted everything. And all the bad treatment he's given you since he met you was because he didn't know how to separate what was bad with his father, and that it shouldn't show to anyone. You wouldn't be like his father to anyone in the family, but amid the whole divorce process, you were there. Doing good for the Lee family without even knowing it.
And he didn't think he deserved it. I knew that Hajun deserved everything wonderful because he would spare his brother any bad feelings, but when you started being nice to Heeseung, he only knew how to be defensive. 
You weren't supposed to greet him every time you were at home, you weren't supposed to flash smiles in his direction, let alone wave after a short answer he gave. Heeseung was rude – even for no reason – and you were still nice to him. Or at least polite. He wanted to believe that it was out of pure politeness and because Hajun was almost always around.
"I know I was a complete idiot and you never deserved that anyway" he slid his hand up to rest on your knee, feeling the slow touch of your fingers against his. Hesitantly, you took Heeseung's hand to intertwine your fingers in each other's "And that day in my kitchen..."
"We don't— Don't need to talk about..."
"I want to talk about it" he interrupted you, squeezing your fingers lightly and looking at you. This forced you to look at him too and maintain eye contact as you listened to every word Heeseung had to say "It was the day I saw my father in the bar, I left very angry."
You wanted to ask why he had gone after his father because Heeseung liked to beat himself up about it. But perhaps that was a conversation for another time, his gaze was so intent on you that all you could think about was every word he said.
"When I got home and you were in the kitchen, arguing was so unbearable that I acted on impulse when I kissed you and..." Heeseung's gaze dropped to your mouth, his Adam's apple bobbing with a dry gulp as he swallowed his saliva nervously "I didn't regret it, because I wanted it again."
"You—"
"I don't know what you did, Y/n, but I can't stop thinking about that day" neither can I, you wanted to answer, but hearing you say everything without a hint of pressure was wonderful. Maybe you'd confess later, but hearing his confession first was much better "You make me nervous, and want to kiss you every time we're near each other."
It was your turn to swallow. Heeseung was still staring at your mouth as if he were mesmerized by every detail of your lips when he felt your hand break away from his and go to the face next to you. You pulled him by the chin and felt Heeseung's breath against your skin from the sudden contact.
"We're too close now, what can you do?" you whispered.
He knew very well what to do and he wasn't going to waste any more time as he had done in previous weeks. Heeseung allowed his lips to touch yours slowly, but showing the urgency he had to feel you like that again.
You completely surrendered to the moment of having to kiss Heeseung again, this time knowing the exact moment when he asked for permission to enter your mouth with his tongue and how much slower his lips were now. Each movement was well appreciated as his hands slid down to your waist and yours ran to the back of his neck. Pulling Heeseung close, almost as if he wanted to fuse him against your body. And he would certainly do that if necessary.
But all he did was lay you back against the sofa while still maintaining the slow rhythm of the kiss, sighing against your lips as you spread your legs to accommodate Heeseung's body between them. It was a scene from heaven to be there again and in a slightly better position than sitting on a kitchen worktop. Heeseung could have sworn he cried in the middle of that kiss at being so close to you again.
Like a memory from last time, as soon as you both felt the need for air and he slid his mouth over yours, a moan came out of his throat. As sly as if he was really inside you when Heeseung kissed a specific spot on your neck.
That sound triggered something in him that, at the same moment, Heeseung pressed his hips against yours so that you could feel the full effect that just one kiss had on him.
"Hee..." you whispered as he returned with kisses all over your skin until he reached your earlobe, nibbling the skin slowly before aligning his face with yours again.
"You wouldn't be able to stop me now, would you?" he whispered back, kissing your mouth as slowly as he moved his hips against yours. It was torturous and at the same time sensual to feel Heeseung's tongue slide against yours at the same pace as he pressed his hard cock between your legs.
You moaned once more, anchoring your legs and holding his body there. Helping with the pressure and making him moan this time, biting his lower lip to break the kiss.
"You're going to be the death of me, Y/n" he gasped as he looked into your eyes. The fucking beautiful expression with the disheveled hair and droopy eyes, red mouth and chest rising and falling to normalize breathing.
"My room isn't too far from here" you pulled him back to you, feeling his lips hover over yours. Heeseung's smile widened even more.
"Good" he sealed his lips to yours "I haven't stopped wondering how this would end since the day I kissed you in that damn kitchen."
He wrapped his arms around you, lifting you off the sofa to pick you up and carry you to your room with your instructions along the way. 
Heeseung just didn't know that you were also thinking about it, about to unravel all that thought.
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�� ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.
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niabang · 2 days
Text
Take it out on me
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Pairings: Yang jeongin × fem reader
Summary: Your boyfriend gets mad at work and you offer a way for him to relieve his stress.
Warnings: smut included MINORS DNI. Mean/hard dom jeongin, sub reader, daddy kink, degradation/ praise (reader receives.), impact play, dumbification? Semi public sex? Overstim, creampie, unprotected sex (please do not do it.) Mentions of other members of skz.
Let me know if there's anything I missed! ♡
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You went to the company with your boyfriend today because you were bored alone at home every day after he left for work, so today you begged him to let you tag along, and surprisingly, he agreed.
You watched as he and the members did a dance routine over and over again, and you were beginning to wonder if they had to go through this every day. No wonder your boyfriend always came home exhausted.
You sat at one corner of the practice room watching them, and your eyes fell on your boyfriend, who was now drenched in sweat and had his sleeves rolled up, exposing his contracting arm muscles.
Fuck.
His hair was wet, and he looked so sexy when he was serious. You subconsciously crossed your legs and tried to distract yourself by watching some tik toks.
"Can you just leave me alone? I'm tired!" You heard your boyfriend's voice echo round the room, and you looked up from your phone to see what all the fuss was about.
"You're not the only one who's tired here. I.N, at least do the dance right so we can move on to the next phase." His colleague Lee know snapped right back at him, and things were not looking so good.
"Hey, hey guys, don't fight. Let's just carry on with the choreo, please." Felix appealed to them, but his request fell on deaf ears.
"Tell him to stop complaining about every single thing I do it's annoying." Jeongin said to Felix.
"If one person looks bad, the whole team looks bad, and I'm just trying to make sure you're on the same page as us, you selfish asshole." Lee know might have just added fuel to the fire with that comment because your boyfriend raised a fist to him but just before he could do anything or you could call out to him a loud voice resonated through the room.
"Everybody stop!" It was bangchan. The leader of the group. You were a little scared because you had never seen him like that before, but it worked because the commotion did, in fact, stop.
"What do you guys think you're doing right now, huh?" He said to Lee know and your boyfriend.
Lee know opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but chan shut him down before he could.
"I don't wanna hear it. Everybody take 5." He said that, and everyone, including him, left the room, but your boyfriend stayed back.
"Baby, are you okay?" You asked, getting up from the corner where you sat.
He didn't answer you and just kept on wiping his face with a towel.
"Jeongin, answer me. Are you okay?" You asked again.
"No, I'm not. I'm tired and frustrated. You saw everything that happened." He had made his way onto one of the couches in the practice room, and just the way he sat was making you horny again.
He was reclined on the couch with his legs spread wide, and he was wearing a pair of shorts so you could see his thighs, and you had never wanted to ride them more than in that moment.
"You can take it out on me." You said before you even realised it.
Your boyfriend's head shot up from the frame of the couch he had rested his head on.
"C'mere." He said as he pulled you onto his lap. You were now straddling him.
"Say that again for me, princess." He said while tucking your hair behind your ear and looking straight into your eyes."
"I- I want you to take your frustration out on me... to relieve to of your stress." You said already getting wet from just sitting on him.
"Oh you dirty slut." He said as he grabbed your neck and pulled you in for a kiss."
"Wait what about the others?" You asked him turning to face the door of the practice room.
"We have 15 minutes." He said and pulled you into the kiss.
Your boyfriend was being completely ruthless with you and took full control of your mouth with his tongue.
You started to grind against him for friction, but he stopped you and lifted you up from his thighs, so you were kneeling and not sitting.
All you could do was moan, and you got even louder when he lifted up the skirt you were wearing and smacked you particularly hard on the ass.
"You like that, huh?" He asked as he broke away from the kiss and landed another hard smack on your bare ass.
"When I speak to you, you answer me." He said as he landed what you think was the hardest one yet.
"Yes, Daddy." You said choking back tears.
"That's my good girl." He said as he wrapped his hand around your throat and pulled you in for a kiss again.
He pulled out his dick from his shorts and began to stroke it. He then put his fingers on your panties to see if you were wet, and you most definitely were so he didn't waste any time moving them to the side and placing you on his dick.
"Ahhh." You whined as he slipped into you. You already knew your boyfriend was big, but for some reason, you felt like he was stretching you out more than usual.
He had his hands on both sides of your hips and began to move you up and down his length.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and it was almost like you could feel every vein and ridge on his dick.
"Ride me." Your boyfriend commanded, and you groaned from the loss of movement because he had taken his hands off your hips.
Your boyfriend knew you couldn't last for 5 minutes on top but he was a sadistic fucker and loved to see you suffer.
You began to bounce up and down his length, and your boyfriend threw his head back.
"Yeah, just like that, baby keep going." He said in a raspy voice and landed a light smack on your ass.
You felt your legs already starting to give out after a while and as if your boyfriend knew he started thrusting up into you from below and he did so fast while landing hard slaps on your ass.
"Fuck fuck fuck please daddy please." You have no idea what you were begging for because it hurt so good you couldn't think straight.
Your boyfriend turned you over so you were now laying on the chair and he was on top.
"Listen to me princess we can't be too loud okay? Take it quietly like a good girl."
You nodded your head and he pushed his dick back into you and choked you restricting just a bit of your airflow.
He was slamming into your cunt so hard and fast you began to see stars. Your moans were getting louder and you forgot that he had told you to be quiet.
You felt a sting on your left cheek and you realised that he had slapped you for disobeying his instructions.
"I told you to be quiet you whore. Do you want people to hear you getting fucked?" He asked you.
"No, Daddy." You managed to blurt out through tears.
"Good." And as he said that, he parted your lips and spit in your mouth, then gave you another slap.
He continued to slam into you but it was impossible for you to say quiet so he now had a hand over your mouth while he continued the assault on your cunt.
"Who's daddy's little cumslut?." He asked after a while and you were too fucked out to answer so your boyfriend brought you back to your senses with another slap.
"Me daddy it's me." You cried out.
"Okay now you're gonna take my cum like the slut you are." As he said that he pressed further into you and filled you with his seed.
You both stayed in that position for about two minutes till you started hearing voices coming towards the practice room.
"Just in time." Your boyfriend said and pulled out of you.
"Keep it in till we get back home." He said as he tapped your thighs and put his dick back into his pants.
"We'll finish things up there." He said and left to join the others.
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wileys-russo · 15 hours
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Hello! I have an idea for a Mearps fic that's kiiiiinda like some of the ones you've already written but not exactly. Reader has a bad day at work coming home very stressed and not in the mood so Delilah and Mary team up to get/do everything they can to cheer R up. Just fluff fluff fluff but I know you'd make a beautiful story out of it!!
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part of the a date to remember universe series a no good horrible very bad day II m.earps
from the very moment you'd opened your eyes this morning, nothing had gone your way.
first there was a blackout overnight causing your alarm clock to short circuit. now normally you'd wake up to your phone alarm as a back up but delilah had snuck in and grabbed it to play games on, and with your wife leaving early for a gym session it left you none the wiser.
so you'd woken up late for your first class of the day, and raced around like a half dressed headless chicken trying to find your phone not even thinking to check in your daughters room.
which is how mary found you when she came home, having expected to be seeing you off for the day as usual with a kiss before fixing some breakfast for delilah. not for you to be running around with bed hair still in your pajamas clearly frazzled, and your daughter nowhere to be seen.
"hey hey hey, whats happened love?" the joke mary intended to make at your appearance died on her tongue as she noticed the genuine panic on your face, dropping her bag by the door and quickly moving to your side.
"my alarm didn't go off because the fucking clocks broken and my backup alarm didn't wake me because i can't find my phone. i don't know what time it is, i don't know if i'm early or late, i can't find a matching pair of socks or-" you started to rant, mary frowning and grabbing your hips.
"its nine forty. your first class today is at nine thirty, so you're going to use my phone and call the studio now, explain whats happened and that you'll be there in time for your class at eleven." your wife spoke firmly but calmly as you could only nod.
"you can take my phone today and i'll look for yours, ignore any calls you get that aren't me. you're going to get properly dressed once you call the studio and i'll make you something quick to eat on the way, and you already packed your food to take with you last night yeah? its in the fridge. you're fine baby, we've got this, now take a breath." mary promised softly as again you nodded and exhaled.
"i love you." your hands fell either side of her face as you leaned up to peck her lips a few times, taking her phone soon as it was offered and disappearing into the ensuite to get ready in record time.
but somehow despite her assurances things only got worse from there.
the coffee mary made spilled all over you as you rushed to grab your belongings and hurry into the studio, a silent scream yelled at the sky which of course was seen by several of your students parents chatting in the parking lot.
face burning red you'd sent them an awkward smile and hurried inside, grateful that you at least worked in an environment where within seconds of picking up on your frantic energy you were handed new pants and shoved into the bathroom to change and take a breather.
finally sorting your head you pushed on and arrived early for your 11am class, where everything seemed to be going well for the first twenty minutes.
only of course with you distracted just momentarily with a message from mary indicating she'd found your phone tucked under delilahs pillow, the brief break in your supervision had a few of the girls messing around and suddenly there was a piercing scream.
with a likely shattered ankle, an ambulance called and a rousing lecture from the parents of the girl it all happened to, your day had gone from bad to horrible.
then walking down the road to grab some food, considering you left in such a rush that you left all of yours in the fridge, you felt something wet hit your neck and suddenly your day had gone from horrible to horrendous.
with a top coated in bird shit you decided to call it a day.
having your classes covered was easy enough, so much so it made you wish you'd just stayed in bed all day and avoided everything all together. even more when you arrived to your car, and rapidly realised thanks to the handy self locking feature mary insisted on having, your keys were...inside the car itself.
"you've gotta be taking the fucking piss." you mumbled, bag dropping to the ground as your forehead thumped against the glass and you exhaled deeply.
but no, the universe wasn't done with you yet.
you heard the rumble and looked up, having noticed earlier that the sky was darkening and shooting your wife a message about taking the washing off before the rain hit.
though you didn't have quite the same luck, eyes widening as the sky opened and you sprinted across the parking lot for cover as the rain began to torrent on down and down from the heavens above.
cursing and grumbling under your breath and soaked to the bone you pulled out your phone, ringing your wife and tapping your foot impatiently, groaning when it rang out without an answer.
you waited five minutes, then ten, and still no callback came from mary.
so giving up you used her phone to call an uber home, having a shared account anyway. gratefully despite the rain he arrived rather quickly and ignoring the judgmental look thrown your way for your dampened state by the driver you slid into the back seat.
he attempted small talk but when all you gave him were singular words or hums he seemed to catch the hint you weren't feeling all that chatty, turning up the radio as you watched manchester go by in a blur, rain splattering angrily against the window.
mumbling a quiet thank you as he pulled up outside your home you grabbed your bag and took a deep breath, opening the door and again legging it from the driveway up to your front steps, near slipping in the process as your heart lurched into your mouth.
of course without keys which were still locked in your car that was at the studio you pressed down on the doorbell, bag slung over your shoulder and arms wrapped tightly around your wet and shivering form.
impatiently ringing the door a second time you finally heard foosteps and the heavy wood swing open, your wife's eyes widening in shock at the state of you.
"babe why didn't you just use your keys?" you rolled your eyes and stepped inside, dropping your sodden bag at your feet. "why are you all wet?' marys frown deepened taking you in as again you remained silent, fighting your way our of your soaked runners.
"and where's the car??" mary eyebrows furrowed further as she glanced over your shoulder to see only her car in the driveway. "one more question mary, i dare you." you grunted, stripping off your saturated hoodie and shoving it into her hands, storming past her and making a beeline for the bedroom.
"mummy! you're home early!" you hated how you did but you winced at the sound of your daughters voice and her little feet racing toward you, head a thumping mess and patience razor thin as you forced a smile and turned, hovering in the doorway of your bedroom.
but sensing your mood mary was quick to snag the squirming four year old into her grip, not missing the way your body sagged slightly in relief.
"mummy just needs a minute of grown up time lilah." you forced another smile and backed into the bedroom, closing the door softly behind you as mary frowned again.
"is mummy okay?" delilah asked her with a frown of her own as mary quickly nodded, setting the girl back down on her feet. "she will be, she just needs some grown up time." mary nodded as your daughters eyebrows furrowed.
"whats that?" "well its when grown ups get to be alone without any kids around." mary smiled poking delilahs nose which scrunched. "sounds boring." "very boring, so go finish your cartoon and i'll come sit with you in a bit. okay?" mary asked hopefully as the four year old hesitated before nodding, racing back off the way she'd come.
knocking softly on the door mary heard a hum and took that as a silent come in, opening the door and stepping inside, a small smile forming at the lump in the middle of the bed.
"alright, baby whats happened?" mary sat on the corner, poking gently at your back as your head popped out, wet clothes abandoned in the bathroom as you weren't bothered to shower, just changing quickly into something dry.
so with a deep sigh that had marys heart aching you recounted the events of your day, your wifes lips not even curling into a slight smile as you feared she might make fun of you, but mary caught right onto how much this had affected you.
"oh my love, im so sorry i didn't answer i stupidly left your phone in the kitchen when i was playing with lilah. do you want a cuddle?" your wife frowned as you nodded, not moving from your position but opening your arms as the taller girl laid down and hugged you tightly, softly kissing the side of your head.
"okay. you're gonna have a lie down and i'm gonna draw you a bath, and keep lilah out of your hair for a bit." mary eventually pulled away, shaking her head when you tried to protest and silencing it with a proper kiss.
"i love you." you mumbled, head hitting the pillow as the goalkeeper smiled and moved a strand of hair behind your ear. "i love you more, i'll be back in a bit babe." and with that she was grabbing your wet clothes and she was gone as your eyes slipped closed, covers pulled back over your head blocking out the world.
"lilah!" mary called out from the bathroom, having tossed your clothes in to wash and starting to run a bath once she'd checked on your daughter, delilah appearing quickly and nearly tackling mary into the bath as she jumped on her back.
"woah! stick to the bathroom speed limit please speedy." your wife chuckled as delilah giggled, clinging onto marys back tightly who grabbed her legs and stood, moving to gently lower her down onto the counter.
"okay. now you and me tiny, we've got a mission to do." mary started as delilah nodded, now locked in with a serious expression which made mary smile.
"mummy has had a no good horrible very bad day, and you and me? we've gotta fix it." mary explained as delilah nodded again. "so step one-" mary held up a finger, grinning as her daughter mirrored her actions.
"-we run her a lovely hot bath." mary gestured behind her where the bath was slowly filling up, the scent of lavender and chamomile filling the room from the oils she'd dropped in. "step two-" mary held up a second finger, delilah doing the same.
"-we clean up the house. play room, living room, your room, my room, kitchen." mary ticked off, delilah sighing at that but nodding. "we can make a game of it, no frowning tiny." mary tickled her stomach as the girl giggled and seemed to perk up.
"step three, we bake mummy some cookies and watch her favorite movie." mary recounted as delilah perked up even more at that, swinging her legs and nodding very eagerly as your wife grinned.
"then step four we get pizza for dinner, give mummy lots of cuddles and kisses, and tell her how much we love her. can you do that?" mary asked as delilah nodded. "yes." she promised.
"very good. can you go start tidying up the play room please? properly! no cutting corners." mary pinched her cheeks as delilah grinned but agreed, lifting her arms up as mary gently placed her down on the ground and she took off.
finishing off the bath and ensuring it was a perfect temperature mary returned to your bedroom, smiling at the sight of you asleep half hanging out of the covers.
"hey, wakey wakey beautiful." your eyes fluttered open at that, blinking tiredly and forcing yourself to sit up as your wife moved your hair out of your face with a soft smile.
"baths ready." mary informed as you nodded still half asleep. "carry me." you mumbled tiredly, a small smile curling into your features as her boisterous laugh filled the room but none the less she stood and did as you asked.
"perfectly hot water, skin care lined up and ready to go for afterwards, speaker and phone for music if you want it and dryer warmed towel. your, my, favourite hoodie, fluffy pants and socks hung up for after, and of course lilahs favourite toys to keep you company." mary hugged you from behind and softly kissed your neck, a small rumble of laughter leaving you at the sight of the small tug boat and duck floating around which your daughter had insisted to mary you needed for it to be a perfect bath.
"mary you're the best." you sighed gratefully, craning your head back and puckering your lips which she quickly pressed her own against them. "only the best for the best." she promised sincerely, letting go as you started to strip off.
"enjoy darling." of course she couldn't resist her hand gently patting your ass with a wink. "you couldn't help yourself could you?" you raised an eyebrow with a knowing smile as your wife only grinned.
"made you smile though didn't it?"
~
mary sang along to the music beating through the kitchen, the final room left to tidy as you were yet to emerge from the bathroom much to her relief, wanting it all done by the time you had.
the cookies were made and in the oven and the mess from the task nearly all gone, delilah sat on her shoulders and very carefully putting things away in the cupboard as mary dried them and handed them to her.
"you're being a superstar helper today tiny, i really appreciate it." mary complimented, handing the girl one last mug which delilah very gently set away in its place, grabbing onto mary as she moved stepping back to close the cupboard doors.
"i like doing nice things for mummy cause she's always doing nice things for me!" delilah chirped as mary squatted and lowered her back down to the floor. "thats very sweet of you lilah." mary smiled, kissing your daughters cheek and accepting the hug which was thrown her way.
"hugging without me?" you smiled at the sight, in a bit more of a bettered mood after a long soak in the bath. "hey! get out of here we're not done yet!" you laughed in surprise as your daughter attempted to push you out of the kitchen.
"mama, get her out." delilah ordered sternly as mary grinned, shrugging at your curious look her way and assisting your four year old to remove you from the kitchen.
"please go wait in the bedroom and we shall fetch you when everything is ready m'lady." mary put on an accent making delilah giggle and you playfully roll your eyes.
but doing as you were asked you waited and doom scrolled on your phone for a further ten or so minutes before you were summoned. "mummy! we're ready now." delilah climbed up onto the bed and wiggled happily before launching at you.
"ready for what hm?" you smiled as the small blonde only smiled and patted your head. "have to come and see." she chirped, kissing your forehead like mary often did and jumping down from the bed.
"lilah careful!" you warned, unable to turn the mum switch off as you followed after her, your words falling on deaf ears as your wife stood in the living room, delilah bouncing happily on the sofa.
"whats all this then?" you smiled softly at the sight in front of you. "surprise!" delilah yelled with a grin. "we cleaned the house, made you cookies and loaded up your favourite movie." mary explained, your heart swelling at her words.
"then later we're gettin pizza and you get lots of cuddle and kisses because we love you!" delilah hopped to the end of the sofa and you hurried forward recognizing what she was about to do, sure enough moments later the four year old surging off the arm rest as you were quick to catch her.
"what have we said about not jumping off things? if you hurt your ankle you can't dance." you warned softly but sternly. "mama lets me!" delilah protested as mary paled, sending you a guilty smile as you sighed but decided that was a conversation for another time.
"well this is all very very lovely, and i love you both very much." your features softened and you pretended not to notice the way your wifes body sighed in relief she'd avoided a telling off for now at least.
"love you more." delilahs small hands fell to your cheeks making your smile widen. "love you most." you countered, honking her nose as she giggled. "oh! wait i want harold to watch with us." you put her down and she raced off to grab her favourite stuffed cow alessia had bought her a few months ago which never left her side.
"you're very sweet but you didn't need to make all this fuss over me babe." you promised as your wife tugged your body into hers, hands on your hips as your arms wound round her neck.
"course i did. i love you and you had a no good horrible very bad day and our vows were to be there for better or for worse. so i did my best to make the worst a little better." mary smiled, softly kissing you a few times as you melted into her, the sounds of footsteps having you both breaking apart.
"so, what are we watching?" you laughed as you sat down on the sofa and delilah clambered on top of you, wriggling around until she was comfortable as mary wedged in beside you, all three of you basically squished onto one cushion despite the endless space.
"love actually!" mary announced, clicking into it on the tv as you let out a loud pelt of laughter. "what?" your wife frowned, clearly a little confused at your reaction as delilah took the opportunity to ram a cookie into her mouth.
"well firstly, i don't know if thats the most appropriate movie for-" you gestured to the four year old happily munching away at a cookie, cheeks puffed out resembling a chipmunk making mary chuckle and shake her head.
"and secondly, mary thats your favorite movie not mine!"
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moechies · 1 day
Note
Ur fav guy fucking his mom pls pls
౨ৎ ⋆ take it, mommy ! ꨄ shidou ryusei ꒰ DARK CONTENT ꒱
sypnosis: grimy shidou fuckin' his mommy :(
content warnings 𝜚 𓈒 1.4k words ꒱ ince$t, yandere themes, pwop, tons of kissing, groping, no prep, creampie, whiny needy ryu, name usage including . . mommy, mama
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“ryusei ! get off me!”
“no.. i love you, love y’so much mommy. missed you soo much.” he purrs against your warm skin. his heavy body lays atop of you, keeping you still below him as he grabs at your face and pressing sloppy kisses anywhere he deems possible; like a bunny in heat.
“n-not now, ryusei, mommy’s got things to do, okay?”
“y’really can’t spend some quality time with your son?” he pouts, a sight you’re never used to seeing. it makes your heart ache, and you sigh.
“b-but, i have to cook—“
“i can help you with that later, ‘kay? jus’ miss you mama, don’t leave me.”
you shrivel under his touch, finding it hard to respond with anything other than your usual ‘yes, of course i won’t .’ he attempts to read into your expression, looking for any sign of reassurance. he sighs with relief when you smile, burying himself in the crook of your collarbone when you run a hand through the soft of his fluffy hair. because he knows, knows that you’ve fallen into his trap once again.
. . ♡
ryusei only loves you. maybe it’s the fact that you’re the only one out of thousands of individuals that he’s ever met, that has shown him unconditional love. spending the last 20 years of your life grooming him, nurturing him, regardless of anything that has happened within the span of his fucked up life, he’s never found another like his own mother.
he can’t help but love you more than a son should love his mother, clinging onto you at any moment given possible when he isn’t out solely to play soccer for his profession.
the brat almost always gets into dangerous situations after a bad game, rushing home to find comfort in his mothers presence, as well as in her sloppy cunt. you attempt to scold him, but everything simply goes in one ear and out the next when he’s desperate for some lovin’ from his mother.
“i know.. i know already, okay? jus’ missed you so much. couldn’t wait to come home..” he mumbles, pressing his hot lips against yours. it’s overwhelming, his soft hands roaming your body and groping the flesh of your tits from under your shirt, the soft fat of them falling in between his fingers. “really just missed you s’much mama. forgive me, ‘kay?”
how heartless would you be if you didn’t ?
♡ . .
“w’na make you feel good. can i , mommy ? please ? w’na have you so bad.” he whines, fingers tugging at your shirt, quickly pulling them above your tits causing you to squeal. he wastes no time listening to your complaints, whining about how he’s too crude, and how he needs to be patient, instead he quickly latches onto your swollen bud. his strained cock unwittingly humps into the sheets, the wet sticky patch that leaks from his cock head dirtying his boxers.
ones you’d have to wash later, and look back on the ‘guilt‘ of your two’s doings.
he’s messy, and his spit coats not only your puffy areola but the fat of your tit. he gropes at your tit simultaneously, causing you to arch your back away from the rough sensation.
“r-ryusei hnn— too rough.”
“sorryyy. . didn’t mean t’mommy.” he mumbles, catching your lips in a heated kiss.
meanwhile, his hand travels below, pulling himself out of the confinement of his boxers. he sighs into your mouth out of relief, the warmth of his shaft unintentionally rubbing against your naked thigh. it makes you whine, squeezing your eyes tight.
“ryusei..” you mumble into the kiss , catching his attention. “you’re such a good boy f’mommy baby.” you coo with a light smile. his gaze softens, an ill-intentioned grin that spreads across his face. he yearns for your free hand, intertwining his bigger fingers with yours.
“can i fuck you now ? please, can’t wait anymore. it hurts , mommy.” he whines, leading your gaze down below where he fervidly attempts to rub out the ache in his cock. it’s a sight you’ve seen many times before, but one that you’re never able to get used to.
he’s heavy, and thick, the rotund tip leaking of creamy pre. his balls swell with need, desperate for any sort of release. he’s thickest around the middle, veins bulging across the entirety of his fat shaft. you find yourself salivating at the sight, quickly tidying your appearance before he has time to make fun of your expression.
“such a pretty sight, baby.” you coo, hoisting yourself onto your forearms to press a soft kiss against his cheek.
“t-thank you, mommy.” he mumbles, a light blush of pink painting over his cheeks. he’s unable to look into you, embarrassed, but doesn’t waste time to press a kiss on the tip of your nose to show his appreciation.
he rubs the swollen head against the pudgy slit of your cunt waiting for approval, shivering when he feels his pre mix into the slick of your arousal. his grip on your hand grows tighter, attempting to press further into your silky cunt.
“mommy, please—“
“mhm, be good for mommy, okay? go ahead, p-put it in, ryusei.”
you find yourself barely able to breathe throughout the the desperation, watching as his pupils grow into large black voids, shaped into hearts.
he wastes no time, quickly guiding his cock into the depths of your cunt. the arousal caused upon his teasing causes a slip, his creamy head accidently nudging over your puffy clit, making you jolt against him. he mumbles out insincere apologies, head empty other than the thought of getting in his mother’s cunt.
he nearly cums when he successfully fucks into you, your tight walls pulsating and gripping around him like no other. you squeal at the stretch, free hand coming up to push at his chest in an attempt to slow his movements.
“wait— ryu !”
“mommy,” he whines, on the brink of tears. if his eyes hadn’t been rolled back into his fucking skull, you’d very obviously see tears beading in the socket of his rosy irises.
“r-ryu,” you cry. “feels s’ good. y-you’re making mommy feel so good..”
his chest swells with pride, yearning to hear more of your honey-like praises.
he humps into you lazily, his breaths heavy and to be heard from rooms away. minimal sweat beads across the crown of his forehead, his gaze pacing back and forth from your frenzied state to down below where you two connect.
your cunt accommodates his girth perfectly, fat folds stretching to painful limits just enough to fit his cock. every thrust leaves a coat of pearlescent cream around him forming a ring, slow dribbles of cum spilling down and coating the tight rim below.
“l-love you, only you, love your pussy s’much, i— thankyouthankyouthank—“ his rambles are stopped by a kiss, but to no avail as he continues chanting against your lips. his hands rub up on every inch of your skin desperately, roughly fondling your messy tits, eager to feel more.
“wan’ you to cum, please, cum ‘round me mama. please—“ he mumbles meekly into your neck, bodies held together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
his thrusts become heavy and sloppy, leaving no room for you to squirm away as he holds tight. “hnn— r-ryu, it hurts— think ‘m g-gonna cum,” you cry, shimmery tears dragging along your dewy cheek. red painful streaks paint the back of the football player, but he pays no mind.
“cum, mommy, cum on it.” he moans breathlessly.
you’d never miss a chance to. your cunt convulses around him violently, pushing him over the edge at the given moment. creamy cum coats the insides, painting your walls white as his fat load seems to be never ending, filling your little cunt to the brim.
“ryusei, t-too much! wait !”
“take i-it, pleasee hnn—, just be still and take it f’me—“
he holds you tight, hindering your attempt to scramble away from the feeling, being sure you feel every inch, every drop of his heavy load.
he withdraws his limp cock from you unwillingly, whining at the sensitivity when your cunt clenches around his swelled tip.
he light smile spreads across his lips as he watches his load leak out of you involuntarily, painting the sheets white. he does nothing to prevent the mess, simply watching from afar dreaming of doing it again.
“love you, mommy.” he speaks quietly, gently grabbing your face on both sides to pucker your swollen lips before pressing a heavy kiss. he adores your fucked out expression, barely awoke but still conscious enough to shoot him a smile, and a honeyed, “i love you too, ryusei. ♡”
“goodnight, mommy. sleep tight. ♡”
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mrsparrasblog · 15 hours
Text
You're losing me pt.2
pt. 1
TW: mention of rape, unprotected sex, drinking, blood, violence, angst
The liquor on his tongue didn’t even burn anymore; too much was already in his system, trying to wash down the events of this day. You were the love of his life, the woman he wanted to marry, even though he didn’t know how it would be legal for you to marry all of them. And now, he lost you. The worst part? He can't even remember how it happened. He felt so disgusted in himself in so many ways—disgusted for breaking your heart. God, your look, how you tried to keep your tears in check, broke him. And then his whole body felt disgusted; it felt like a layer of dirt he couldn’t wash away. He scrubbed and scrubbed, but it didn’t go away; the shame still lingered. It felt like someone had taken something from him, but it was his own fault. He must have said yes and bought those drinks. It was his own fault, he told himself over and over again. Normally, he would talk about this kind of stuff with you; you always knew what to say. But you hated him.
"‚‘nother on’," he said to the barkeeper. This was probably his sixth. Johnny knew how he could handle alcohol; he was never that pissed before to not remember a thing. And there she was, the medic, sitting down next to him.
"Hey, Johnny," she smiled brightly, like she didn’t have any worry in her life.
"I ken a dinnae whit yesterday happened bit tis ne'er aff tae happen again."
"Come on, you enjoyed it yesterday."
"I dinnae remember yesterday."
"What a shame."
He stood up, throwing some pounds on the table, wanting to leave, but she stopped him. "Come on, Johnny. I'll help you forget, make you feel at peace again."
"No."
"Then please, let me invite you for a drink as an apology," she smiled sweetly, pushing the drink towards me. Wait, how had she a drink prepared if she sat only for a minute next to me?
"No."
"Please, a drink won't kill you."
"I said no."
"Just one sip, Johnny, and I'll make you feel good how she never could."
"How come ye're sae persistent fur me tae dram this drink?"
"You're silly, Johnny. I'm just being nice," she looked panicked - weird.
While many people thought of him as someone who is just a silly guy who isn’t able to think properly, you told him all over again that he was so smart, smarter than all of them, if someone would just give him the chance to show. And right now, his brain implanted a sick thought on him. "Dinnae tell me ye put something in mah drink."
Her eyes widened. "Of course not," she mumbled.
"Don't lie to me," his hand immediately went to her throat , choking the truth out of her.
"Knockout drugs," she whispered. She was fighting for air as I let her go; the men in the pub already stood up trying to save the poor woman from getting abused by a man.
"You raped me." His shock hit deep; he always thought something like that wouldn’t happen to him. He was strong and able to protect himself. He was the guy who killed people, the youngest man in the SAS, the guy who beat up an officer because he touched a civi. But now, he was the victim.
"Have fun proving it. No one will believe that a tiny girl like me raped the big bad soldier," she laughed, and screamed for help. "Help, this man doesn’t take no for an answer," He was kicked out of the pub; his face was bloody from all the beating.
All he wanted was to reach you, ask your advice, be in the comfort of your arms, telling him all over again how he is a good man, how he is worth everything and not a dirty soldier. But you didn’t pick up; he came to the realization quickly; that no one would believe him.
**Soap:** Please tell me we used a condom.
**Medic:** ;)
Fuck.
————————————————————————————————-
4 am and you still couldn’t sleep; your head was full of thoughts. Why were you not good enough? Why did he do it? So, you made a thing your friends would kill you for. Calling John, you weren’t sure if he would pick up, but he did.
"What's wrong, love?" Source of habit, he thought.
"Why did you do this, John?" you sobbed.
"I didn't mean for it to happen; it was an accident."
"Then why didn't you say sorry?"
"Love."
"Don't fucking call me love. You cheated on me, and you didn't say sorry. You didn't run after me, you didn't apologize," your sobs broke his heart.
"I'm sorry; it was an accident."
"An accident is making a typo, not sticking your dick in a whore."
"I—"
"I hate you, John. I hate you so much," and you hung up. This wasn’t what you expected. Why doesn’t he feel guilty? Why are you not good enough? Why didn’t Simon say something? Why didn’t Kyle come here? Of course, you broke up, but why don’t they care?
If you only knew how Kyle was, blood-covered in the hospital, too many rookies in his way. How Simon was trying desperately to find Soap to see he didn't drink himself to death, and then he would come to you, he told him self all over again. And how the captain didn't leave his office, not even for food.
And how Soap went into John's office, trying to explain to him the truth, only to see a disarranged office, hands covered in blood after he tried to pick up the liquor he smashed at his wall. He never saw his captain so vulnerable, and if Soap didn’t know better, he would have sworn he saw tears.
"Captain, I—"
"You did already enough, MacTavish. Let me have at least one day to mourn over the loss of the love of my fucking life."
"Captain—"
"LEAVE," and he did, he crawled into his bed, knowing he lost everything in a day, the love of his life, his best friend Kyle, his captain, his pride, and safety, and not even Ghost was there.
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jacevelaryonswife · 2 days
Text
You Really Got Me | Professor!Michael Gavey x student!fem reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: With a perfect CV, Michael Gavey was on top of the fucking world and mediocrity has never seemed so inherent to you before. The new Professor of Number Theory awakened inappropriate feelings that could become risky if they were reciprocal.
a/n: well, it was quite difficult to write this because I’m not familiar with the Oxford environment and I hope that my research has made this story as credible as possible.
tags: slight slow burn, smut, p in v sex, power imbalance, swearing.
word count: 5.7k
ewanverse masterlist | next part
Michael Gavey was... many things.
A lot of things, definitely.
Michael, or rather, Professor Gavey now, aroused conflicting feelings in you.
Admiration, fear, fascination and another whirlwind was felt when it was the new and brilliant Professor of Numbers Theory. He took over the discipline of a dear veteran and great name of mathematics in Oxford, his advisor in the master’s and PhD. Obviously great expectation formed around it, around him, wondering if he would be able to overcome the grandeur of his predecessor.
And apparently he was causing a certain commotion with his above-average intelligence and his eccentric personality.
Obviously you started a search for the CV of your next professor and the finding was surprisingly extraordinary. Speaker of the 2010 class, several projects carried out, postgraduate (also in Oxford), articles published in journals with high impact factor and experience at McKinsey & Company for 2 years.
Michael Gavey was on top of the fucking world and mediocrity had never seemed so inherent to you before.
Saying that you were intimidated by the first contact with him was an understatement- you were fucking terrified. The rumors of an alleged above-average intelligence proved to be untrue. Above average? No shit, he was far beyond everything you experienced. Your eyes didn’t dare to move away from him and the painting during the following hours, too fascinated by what was happening in your fucking front. You felt a current of pure mathematics run through your body and camp in your brain, illuminating all the neurons.
What the fuck had just happened?
You learned that every class he taught was a learning experience rarely experienced before. The passion he conveyed when teaching overflowed in all his expressions so intensely that it made you orbit around him slowly.
And that was the beginning of a problem.
A big problem.
But you hadn’t noticed yet.
“If I ever thought I was smart, forget it! Michael Gavey is the epitome of everything I want to be,” your good friend Miranda said before taking a sip of her latte.
“I know right? Every class I feel that my brain will explode,” you said while leaning your head against the table, “but I can understand what it teaches, at least a good part of things. I know I already have an advisor and our work is almost published, but I think I’m thinking of getting out of Algebra and trying something with Gavey,” you looked at her.
“Woah, are you fucking sure? I mean- if that’s what you really want, that’s fine, but I think it’s too mind blowing for me,” she said.
“For me too, but it’s fucking interesting, I really want to do at least one research in this area.”
“... hmm,” Miranda smirked, humming.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she superficially drank her coffee, “hmm.”
“Cut the bullshit,” you complained as you looked at her impatiently.
“It’s nothing, it’s just that from a certain angle he’s quite cute,” she said in a thin voice.
“Who? Gavey?”
“Yeah. He’s... different from the guys you usually date or are interested in but he’s not bad looking,” she explained.
“Come on, do you really think I’m interested in him? He's our professor and a big nerd to boot!” The last thing wasn’t totally the end of the world.
“And? It’s not like students and professors have never fucked before, although I don’t think he’d risk that much, he seems to be quite methodical,” she said calmly, “and most importantly, he’s clever as fuck and that automatically makes him sexy, if he’s not an idiot.”
That was absurd, you weren’t interested in Michael Gavey!
... right?
You thought about it for the rest of the day.
Was Michael Gavey, in addition to his bestial intellect, physically attractive?
Suddenly, you began to notice how his lips were perfectly drawn and pink as he explained the most beautiful things you had ever heard in those years at Oxford. Damn it. It was Miranda’s fault, obviously. You tried to convince yourself of that while elaborating a way to approach you about the possibility of a research project without embarrassing yourself. Obviously you tried to impress him before that, answering questions whenever possible and redoing all the examples and notes he passed around. When your own mind couldn’t assimilate some details, you looked for him to ask questions and oh Lord, he was more than attentive.
The proximity also made you realize how blue his eyes were under the glasses, and how his hands were- no, wait, what were those veins? Those long and thin fingers? You know what they say about guys with big hands... And his fluffy dirty blonde hair and those soft and ugly sweaters, his height, his waist-
DAMN IT MIRANDA!
That afternoon you gathered the courage to introduce the subject after your classmates left, using your best words to make a good impression.
“I have some interesting ideas that would yield good research, but before recruiting someone, I evaluate performance throughout the term; grades, posture, commitment, everything is observed.”
“Oh... sure, professor.”
“You’re doing well so far, you have good chances, keep it up.”
You wanted to scream. You’ve been recognized.
If your previous efforts were continuous to make a good impression, they would now be compulsive to stand out from the others. You needed to have him as an advisor. And all the eagerness to please him, all the competitive desire to excel, all that fervor triggered a fire that consumed every stretch of your body silently.
And that was a problem.
It shouldn’t be, but it became without you noticing.
“Do you know how many people would sacrifice everything to sit on these chairs? Walking through these corridors? Breathe this air? All of you have an obligation to achieve more than perfection, especially if you are here because of mommy and daddy’s money.”
You knew that very well. Gavey was very demanding about the quality of his students, always reinforcing the privilege of being in this environment, which in itself would make his discipline one of the most important of that term, but your current disposition made you demand almost all attention for him, for the test that was coming, for what you aspired to in the future.
And the result couldn’t be better.
You had a 100% performance in the first test. Excellent, handwritten next to the note. “Good work, keep it up,” he said with a subtle smile.
“Thank you, professor.”
So that’s what the butterflies in your stomach were from.
You smiled, satisfied as you reaped the fruit of weeks of hard work, too numb in your own pride to feel a close eye to follow your steps to the exit, although you had not gone unnoticed by Miranda.
“I think someone caught Gavey’s attention,” she hummed low, approaching on your side to lightly nudge your body with her hip.
“I know right? I need this opportunity,” you celebrated, oblivious to the implicit tone of her voice.
“I didn’t mean that way, babe. It's just he’s keeping an eye on you constantly, literally checking you every- I don’t know, three minutes?” She said it as if it were obvious.
“What? No, I don’t think it’s in this sense, he uses everything as a parameter of choice, he’s just observing my posture.” What? To believe that Gavey had ulterior motives? Too unreal.
“No, sweetheart, he was staring at you when no one paid attention, or almost no one, and he spent most of his time looking at you,” she insisted.
“You don't really thi-“
“I totally think so!”
Oh fuck.
“I’m not saying he’s in love with you, but he's interested, hell yeah,” she explained as you slowly processed her words.
“Fuck,” you said, “do you really, really think so? I mean- he doesn’t look like the type who stays with students.”
Definitely not, he seemed too methodical for that, methodical enough to separate the spectra of his life into compartments.
But what if there was the possibility? You couldn’t reproduce that question audibly, but in the comfort of your bed, you allowed yourself to daydream.
If there was some possibility?
Well, there were pros and cons that needed to be analyzed meticulously, of course.
In the event that Michael was a systematic monster, there wouldn’t be problems in a relationship since he wouldn’t mix romance with studies, theoretically. On the other hand, if he didn’t know how to differentiate the staff from the professional... well, you’d be fucked up if something went wrong. And that was the main point: the mistake.
The consequences would be drastic if something bad happened, especially to you, whose life was still under construction and a scholarship in Oxford could not be negotiated. The cost was too high.
However, over the weeks, you could only think about how attractive your professor was.
And now you know it’s a problem.
And with that, the end of year 2 was near when you received an email from Michael Gavey requesting to send your notes and certificates of everything you had done and participated in so far. Jesus, that man wasn’t kidding.
Neither were you.
That same morning you attached the documents to the e-mail and forwarded a response, as a result, your presence was requested at his office as soon as possible. I’m available in the afternoon, you send to him.
It was complicated to make your legs stop shaking along the way, practically jumping through the corridors while trying to stay calm. It was your chance, one where nothing could go wrong. You wore your best clothes, put on accessories that you used to wear daily and a subtle makeup to make a good impression, nothing that drew too much attention.
Stopping in front of his door, you took a deep breath and announced your presence with a light knock against the old wood, receiving immediate permission to enter the space. You would've liked the time and the absence of an observer to analyze all the details, but instead your eyes locked with his as he walked back to his chair.
“Good afternoon,” he said, a polite smile illuminating his beautiful face as he pointed to the chair in front of you, “have a seat. Please.”
“Good afternoon, professor, thank you,” you greeted him back, shaking your hands anxiously as you sat down.
With no time to allow your eyes to wander through the objects on the table, Michael cut straight to the point. "So, what aroused your interest in Number Theory?" You, to begin with.
"Well, I chose Maths at the age of 17, but things were difficult when I started the course. I was disenchanted considerably, but I always remained active. When your classes started I felt the same thing that motivated me to join here, it was as if everything had made sense again and I really fell in love with it."
“I see,” he said, crossing his hands over the table with a soft smile and a slight pink to his cheeks. Did you make him blush? No way. "I’m happy to have contributed positively to your training. I really appreciated your performance during classes and the analysis of your CV. The activities you have developed are also good but they can improve, I believe you also aspire to it. I seek a high level of quality in my students, after all we are in one of the best universities in the world and excellence is the least expected, I believe we agree on that. Have you already decided where you would like to specialise within Number Theory?"
"To be honest, no, but I would like to find out in-"
"I have some ideas that I’d like to be executed, I can show you now, if you don't have something in mind," he interrupted you with enthusiasm.
"... yes, I’d love to," you said, "but first, thank you for the opportunity you’re giving me, I admire you so much from the first classes and I feel really happy to receive this chance, I know there are many successful veteran professors, but I believe that a current view of a person as impressive as you can bring interesting results."
And if he had blushed with your previous statement, now he was red as a tomato and all disconcerted as he looked down with a shyness never witnessed before by you. It was deadly cute.
Gosh, you were really fucked.
═════════════════════
Working with Michael was exciting.
Terrifying too.
You felt constantly intimidated by his intellect, which caused a mix of sensations that varied according to the day. There was the pride of collaborating with him, the fear of failing, the paranoia of not being good enough and the satisfaction of achieving good results. It was a real roller coaster.
The passing of the months dissipated the initial strangeness and made living more comfortable. On the other hand, the proximity made you watch him for longer. It was pathetic.
Michael spent most of his time in front of his computer, correcting things, creating things and participating in events. You weren’t the only one under his guidance, there was Paul, a recent entry in Maths who was too inert in his own world to notice any non-standard deviation. Paul was a reminder and a barrier for nothing to come out of your daydreams, although he didn't seem very interested in what you were doing.
Still, you couldn't feed those thoughts, your relationship should be strictly professional.
It didn't matter how discreetly he approached you to help, or how close he leaned towards you- more than what was considered respectful. Or how good he smelled and looked so comfortable with his cheesy sweaters and old shoes. Or when you looked at him closely while he explained something.
How it was happening at that very moment.
“You're wasting time trying to demonstrate this equation, it's not so important for the project,” he said when analysing your latest advances.
"I know, but I'd like to understand better and I'm not getting it, it seems too abstract," you said with a frustrated pout, bothered by being stuck in something so simple.
"You've already solved more difficult things," he stressed, looking at you consciously, "can I?" he asked, referring to your notebook and the pen next to your laptop.
“Sure.”
Your attention focused on the numbers and symbols scribbled on the paper, trying to keep up with the speed of his thought. Watching it has always been fascinating.
“Some things are more difficult when we make them like this,” he said as he sketched on the paper.
"It's easy to say that being you," you replied, lamenting the failed attempt to absorb some of his knowledge.
"But it's true."
Unconsciously, you leaned your shoulder against his arm. "Some things are naturally difficult, not everyone can visualise like you."
"I know, it's a natural advantage," he smirked, looking at you over his shoulder, face closer than usual. "But you have a good brain, you shouldn't make it harder than it is."
So close.
"And how should I make it easier?" You held your breath, not daring to look beyond his beautiful blue irises.
"Find in the problem points that are favourable to you, try to demystify them, make them palpable," he replied slowly, taking a deep breath.
Really close.
"And if there's nothing to be explored?"
"You can always call me."
"… I know."
So close.
═════════════════════
After that, you don't know what or why, but something has changed in your relationship with Michael.
His looks became more persistent, his presence seemed closer, almost palpable. Maybe it was a daydream of your own mind, but it looked different, inexplicably different. The air seemed heavier when there was proximity. He seemed comfortable when he touched your shoulder while you read your results. It was nothing, you thought.
There was something not said and that was enough to bring out fears and expectations.
Why not? You thought repeatedly, knowing the reasons very well.
But, maybe...
Maybe you needed to get him out of your head for a few hours, meet some nice guys, drink a little, it was a good idea.
That's why that Friday night you decided to go to one of the nearby pubs with Miranda. It was a good plan, you would leave the lab at 5 PM and get ready to meet her at 7 PM. It was in fact a good plan... until the data analysis program decided to crash in the middle of your work and a malaise affected your friend, in addition to a grotesque rain that started to fall recently. Well, at least you tried.
After collecting the material from the bench, you stretched your arms above your head to ward off the hours of agonizing stress and got up from the chair. It was already late and your view was tired, more than your own body when Michael showed up with his keys in his hand after closing his own office. He spent the afternoon by your side trying to solve the damn problem in addition to his chores as a teacher.
"Everything worked out?" He asked.
"Yeah, at least that," you grumbled, picking up your backpack, "thank you for the help," you looked at him before going to the switches to turn off the equipment.
"You’re welcome," he said simply, in a softer tone than usual. Thunder echoed when you turned off the lights and made you retreat briefly in fright, making himhim laugh softly. "So, what does your generation do to have fun Friday night?" He asked casually after leaving the laboratory.
"Considering that these pubs are older than you and me, I think the same thing your generation did," you replied humorously, looking at him with a small smile, "Unfortunately not with this rain."
"Did you have plans?" He asked.
"Yes, my friend and I’d go to MacLaren's pub, but she's sick and the world decided to fall suddenly and I didn't bring my umbrella," you said faster than you intended, a brief irritation about how your night was totally destroyed. “And you?”
“No plans,” he said, adjusting his sweater. His car was close, but the rain prevented him from advancing a lot. "Are you walking?" He asked.
"Yes- I mean as soon as the rain passes," you crossed your arms and hugged yourself.
"I can take you," he said, his words beginning to make your heart beat faster.
It's no big deal, it's just a polite gesture.
"Oh no, you don't have to, honestly. I can wait," you said, although the twinge in your heart meant the opposite. Why the fuck did I deny it? Damn it.
"It's no big deal, besides we don't know when it will pass," he said, "we can wait in my car, I'm fucking freezing here."
"Sure." You tried not to freak out at the idea of being in such a restricted and warm environment with him, but Michael didn't seem to share the concern, since he basically ran in the middle of the fine rain to reach his car. Okay then. You went right behind, putting the backpack above your head to protect yourself from the water and closing the door harder than you intended. “Sorry, I wasn't expecting that,” you said with a light laugh.
"I just needed this heater," he said with a small smile on his lips, messing with things on the panel, "I also didn't bring an umbrella."
Avoiding making him uncomfortable when analyzing his every movement, you took your cell phone to try to distract yourself, relaxing when the hot air became present. It was almost 6:45 when You Really Got Me filled your ears and made you look at him.
"Do you like The Kinks?" You asked.
"I'm a fan, what about you?"
"My friend is a big fan."
“And you?”
"I like some songs."
"My grandfather was a great vinyl collector, he left everything to my father but he was never into rock in general," he said as he adjusted his glasses, looking at you with soft eyes.
You looked at him with interest. "I started listening to rock to get the attention of a guy I liked. It didn't work but I really liked the songs, although I don't listen to the same bands as I did when I was younger."
Michael laughed. The sound was carefree, almost relaxed even, a facet you didn't see often. He looked soft, cozy, in that burnt orange sweater he wore. "And what do you listen to?"
“I listen to a lot of Oasis, but that's not really 60's stuff. But I also like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Strokes...”
“Big fan of Oasis,” he said.
“Really?”
"I have all the vinyls and I went to a concert in Manchester before the separation." He paused, "Would you like to see them?"
There was an intensity in his look that made your breathing fail, making the air heavy. The casualness of the situation did not seem so natural all of a sudden. He meant-
“In my home.”
Shit shit shit shit
You couldn't, you shouldn't.
“Yes.”
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And so, contrary to all the possibilities of the night, you were in Michael fucking Gavey's house.
A veiled restlessness endured in the air and in the way your heart beat as you were taken by the unknown path. You couldn't believe you had agreed to that, but here you were, looking at every detail of his flat with curiosity. It was large, clean and almost minimalist in design, some thematic objects of mathematics scattered around on the shelves, walls and table. Nerd.
A short silence was maintained while your eyes eagerly explored his place. "Do you want to drink something?"
"Water would be great," you tried to keep the modesty, while watching him go to the kitchen and approach with your request with his gaze locked on yours.
You couldn't be imagining things, there was something there, a different glow, an unspoken truth that caused chills to run through your body.
"You can sit down, I'll get the vinyls."
Your heart was almost exploding since the invitation. You couldn't believe he brought you here, much less that you agreed to come. What the fuck should you do? Let him show you the records and then go? That was stupid.
You forced a conscious smile when he appeared with the records in his hand, watching with a certain curiosity.
“Here,” he said with what you assumed to be a nervous smile, “This is definitely my favourite, although What's the Story? Morning Glory introduced me to the band-“
Your brain wandered when he started digging non-stop about the albums, not giving a damn about Noel and Liam Gallagher's drama, all that mattered was that you were next to Michael Gavey, on his couch, at his house. Michael, the man who took away your sleep and made you constantly daydream. The man who fascinated and intimidated you to the same extent, who made your body warm up when it was close and imagined what it would be like if he got closer.
With his beautiful eyes, nose and lips, big hands and long fingers, soft and beautiful dirty blond hair.
You've wanted it for a long time.
You wanted him.
Wanted to fuck him.
You wanted to fuck your own professor.
And you're tired of denying it.
"I know I shouldn't do that, but it's all I've been thinking about for months."
You interrupted him, touching his cheek as you slowly leaned against him. He froze in place, not preventing your advances as your faces grew closer and closer. Your lips gently brushed against his before pressing harder, starting a fearful and shy, almost chaste kiss.
He didn't reciprocate.
Your heart sank, panic blooming in your stomach.
What did I do?
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"
His lips silenced any doubts that dared to emerge, holding the back of your head while kissing you experimentally. You didn't waste time in moving your lips at the pace he set, holding the back of his neck and smoothing his beautiful face, tasting the taste of his lips.
You couldn't believe it, you couldn't! He was kissing you!
Michael Gavey was kissing you!
"I'm sorry, we shouldn't-" he said as he walked away abruptly, but you didn't care.
You attacked his hungry lips and made him move the discs away when he leaned against his body, climbing on his lap and holding both sides of his neck. His hand went down your back and held your ass firmly while the other grasped on the back of your neck, pulling your body closer and asking for access to your mouth with his tongue. You kissed, sucked, and bit his pink lips, taking advantage of everything you could before moving away to look into his eyes, looking for any sign of reluctance.
“I've wanted to do this for a long time,” he confessed.
“Me too,” you said.
And then you were kissing him again, and again, and again until your lips were red, wet and swollen. Your body warmed up when a bulge emerged below your thighs, instinctively grinding against it.
“Fuck- I can't, we can't do that, I'm your fucking professor,” he said out of breath, holding your arms and briefly pushing your body away. "This can ruin everything- fuck up our relationship-"
He was red, dilated pupils and heavy breathing, a fucking vision.
“I know, I know. But... just this time, we can forget just this time... what do you think?"
He held firmly one side of your face and looked into your eyes. “Are you fucking sure about this?”
“I'm fucking sure.”
Just this time.
"... just this time."
He leaned over to kiss you quickly, moving his hands under your blouse to take it over his head, groping the exposed skin of your arms, waist and belly with his big hands while drinking from your body with lascivious eyes. "Beautiful," he whispered.
His lips traveled to spice up moist kisses on your neck, sucking the conjuncture with his shoulder, licking your throat, making you melt and close your eyes when he found your sweet spot. Who knew he had that fire? He nibbled and sucked the sensitive skin, holding your waist firmly when he raised you and put you on the floor, leaving you stunned as he guided you by the hand to the room.
Michael didn't have time for your reasoning to come back when he gently pushed you against the door with both hands next to your head. “You're fucking gorgeous.”
“And you're handsome,” you removed his orange sweater, touching the skin of his torso.
"... you don't have to reciprocate the compliment."
Your chest hurt when you heard that, which made you touch his cheek instinctively. "I'm not saying out of courtesy, Michael, you're fucking attractive," you traced his lips with your thumb, looking at him firmly. “Fucking handsome.”
A slight blush took over his cheeks and he captured your lips with passion, holding your waist while kissing life outside of you. Your head was spinning and your stomach warmed up by intimacy, straightening his soft hair. You were in the damn clouds.
His hands moved to unbutton your pants and lower them, kneeling before you to remove your shoes and jeans, kissing the stomach trail to the top of your panties and shamelessly touching your drenched pussy.
"Mmm," you shuddered and closed your eyes when he started rubbing your clitoris, increasing the moisture between your thighs. Fuck. Your goddamn professor was kneeling in front of you. If you weren't wet before, now a river has accumulated in your center.
"Is that good?" He asked.
“Yeah,” you whispered, holding onto him for better support, watching him continue to massage your clit now directly into the skin while leaving kisses on your belly. You leaned dramatically against the door when he stuck a finger in your entrance, pumping slowly, feeling you, teasing. “Fuck.”
Michael removed his finger and stood up, unbuttoning his belt quickly and taking off his pants and shoes, leaving you warm and needy and following him like a puppy when he went to the headboard near the bed and opened the upper drawer to take off a condom. Damn it, he was so fine. Before his hands were on your body, you slowly pushed him on the bed and took control, removing the bra and discarding the panties. You couldn't believe what was about to happen.
Your body trembled when he pulled you by the waist and clapped your breasts as you sat on his covered cock and ground over it.
"Fuck," he grunted, sucking one nipple.
"Michael," you moaned, panting. 'Professor,' that's what you wanted to shout, pulling the hair from the back of his neck. He moaned when you kept grinding against his erection and hoisted your hips to lay you on the sheets.
Your mouth opened when he discarded his underwear - not even in the wettest dreams did you imagine that size. He was fucking fine. Tall, thin, defined and with a beautiful cock. Fuck-
Michael Gavey was really a box full of surprises. He barely had time to adjust his glasses and put on the condom before he was pulled by you to take over the top, caged by your legs.
He captured your lips in a sweet kiss, leaning on his elbow as he adjusted between your thighs. The next thing you felt was the welcome intrusion into your folds, stretching you open deliciously. The initial stretch was a little painful, it's been a while since you've been with someone, but he was slow and careful when sinking into your core, making your toes curl up and a relieved moan come out of your throat when he was totally inside.
"Are you alright?" He asked with his face above yours.
"Yes," you held his back, "just wait a minute, please."
“Okay,” he said with a red face, hoarse voice and almost breathless.
Your walls were pulsating when you finally received it, relaxing when the slight discomfort passed. “Move.”
His thrusts were soft, but firm, looking at you closely. You couldn't believe that, yes, Michael was fucking you. Finally.
You leaned up to kiss him while holding your back, groping his wrinkles around your eyes. He was fucking handsome. His hips went further and faster when your body was totally receptive, the moisture and heat surrounding him and making him slip without hindrance. He leaned his forehead against yours and held your hips when you dug your feet on the bed, hitting deeper than before, making you moan loudly and your pussy squeeze instinctively.
A hoarse moan was his response, almost a whining that was swallowed by your lips.
You were in the fucking clouds with the intimacy of the moment, tracing patterns on his back and pulling the blonde strands from the back of the neck when the thrusts became more intense, deliberately repeating his name. Michael attacked the conjuncture of your neck and lifted your thigh even more to go deeper, deliciously hitting your core.
"Michael- fuck-" You could only think of how good he felt, how big his cock was and how his bulbous head brushed your sweet spot whenever he moved. You needed it too much. Holding his shoulders and pushing him away a little, you looked at him panting, making his eyes widen.
"Did I hurt you?" He asked with a tense body.
"No, no, It's just-" and then you moved to take control, resting your hands on his chest, "this." You wanted to ride him since the time you called me in your office. You rubbed your hips against his groin in an addictive rhythm, loving the friction against your clitoris and the feeling of being totally filled.
"Fuck," he grunted, squeezing your ass, groping your hip, holding your breasts, covering every piece of skin available.
You started moving on his cock, touching his chest gently. You felt it all over your core and that burned your whole body, especially when your spongy spot was being brushed rhythmically. Michael pulled you to a scorching kiss full of tongue and teeth, leaving your movements sloppy, but constant, almost frantic, your moans and whining became higher and higher, your velvety walls squeezing his thick axis more and more.
"So fucking good," he moaned against your mouth and leaned his feet on the bed, holding your buttocks and hitting his hips against yours.
“Fuck-“ you almost screamed, resting your head against his chest when he started pushing quickly into your hot pussy, creating lascivious sounds that echoed all over the room.
“You're squeezing me so fucking hard - you're close, aren't you?” He asked, almost breathless.
“Y-yes,” your eyes closed when the family tingling intensified and your juices lubricated it even more.
"Come for me baby," he grunted when your folds pulsed around him, "cum in my fucking cock."
Shit.
Your orgasm hit you hard; hot and sudden as lightning, making your body tremble and a flash blind your vision as the air disappeared from your lungs and your mind went blank.
"Fuck," you heard him moan far away, feeling his cock pulsate and the squeeze on your ass increase when his erratic movements stopped, leaving only a few slow pushes on your sensitive pussy.
You melted completely when the orgasmic euphoria spared, coming out of it unwillingly so as not to deprive you of the air and stabilize your own breathing. Your mind was tired although very aware of the fact that you had just fucked your professor.
You can't fucking believe it.
Fucking finally.
"Are you okay?" He asked, all red and sweaty as he looked at you with crooked glasses.
“Absofuckinglutely,” you looked at him tired, panting, attracted by how cozy he looked. “And you?”
He smiled softly, pushing away some strands of hair that had stuck to your forehead, fingering your face with his thumb. “I'm fucking great.”
Michael pulled you to rest on his chest when a comfortable mist hovered between you as you recovered. None of you said anything for the next few minutes, just enjoying the calm silence before reality starts to come back. You fucked your professor.
You fucked your professor.
What did you have in your head?
You tried to convince yourself that nothing would change after that, that your relationship would not be affected, but you were not sure of that
Just this time.
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taglist: @venmondiese @re-per @anukulee @slytherincursebreaker @tulips2715 @rhaenyslay @angelinap09 @cupidelocke @aegonswife @fan-goddess @thenightmistress @deliaseastar @scarletbedlam @delightfulbluebirdstarlight @arcielee @aemonds-holy-milk
my lovely beta reader: @moris-auri 💙💙
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facefullofsadness · 13 hours
Text
pussy-drunk!purinz relieve your stress
roommate!purinz x reader, university!au
smut, 1.4k wc
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for the lovely @strawbsj whose bday is todayyy!!! sorry if it's not that great jwannie bestie, it's VERY MUCH RUSHED n barely proofread (might fix later on), but I wanted to give u something today and what's better than purinz eating u out as a gift! (and I'm so sorry it's late ajhfsjgd)
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your finals are coming up and wow, is it stressful. I mean it's evident in the distressed faces of your fellow classmates roaming the campus, rushing to the local cafes and library to squeeze in every single bit of study time they can so they don't fail. and you've been no different, hiding away in your room, slaving away at ur notebook with your head in your textbooks and a laptop in front of you.
your roommates yunjin and chaewon are completely chill honestly, they're already done with their projects they need to turn in and have no written exams, having chosen arts majors. they pity you, feeling bad sitting on the living room couch, staring at your closed door, wondering if you're even alive since they can barely hear any noise coming from your room.
having chosen a more studious major than your roommates always meant you were working hard at all times while they were js kinda there? they would always try to help you by making u food, getting you water, doing the chores for you, checking up on you, being sweet and all that. but after hours, 12 to be exact, of you studying, they thought that was enough, you desperately needed A FUCKING BREAK.
you were so zoned in on your work that u didn't hear the door creak open. ur study playlist played softly in the background as u jump, feeling hands land on ur bare shoulders. you blink away from your notes and look up at the concerned looking chaewon looking down at you.
"y/n-ie, that's enough..." her voice was almost a whisper, laced with worry.
"seriously, you've been at this for the entire day, take a break, eat properly, SLEEP?" yunjin reiterates behind her, form slowly coming into view.
you sigh out, leaning back against chaewon's relaxing massage on your shoulders. u didn't realize how exhausted you were until you stopped what u were doing, legs restless, eyes twitching, fingers sore, back hurting.
"I'm just really stressed and worried about this guys," you reply back.
"we know, but killing yourself over this isn't gonna help cutie," the taller girl shifts to move in front of you, closing your laptop and books, holding your worn out hands with her own.
"I don't know how to NOT overwork myself, you guys know that..."
the two girls exchange a look before looking back down at you.
"yeah, so let us help you," chaewon leans into your ear and sighs against it.
you feel a chill run down your spine and suddenly your hands turn clammy in yunjin's hold, the girl in front of you looking down at you with sweet but dark eyes.
"w-what?" you nervously ask.
"shhhh, let us do the work baby," chaewon's lips ghost the skin on your neck before placing deep wet kisses on them.
you immediately whimper at the sensation, throwing your head back against her shoulder. you grip yunjin's hands tighter, eyes closing at how good the short haired girl's mouth felt on you. u didn't even continue to question what was happening anymore, everything feeling too good to care and the exhaustion hitting you too hard to resist.
you hear rustling from in front of you amidst the wet noises next to your ear, feeling your bottoms fall to the ground and legs shift apart. u widen your eyes at the girl between your legs, placing sweet kisses against your thighs.
"jen-" you begin before she interrupts you.
"don't try to stop it, just relax," yunjin mumbles against your skin before dragging her tongue across your already leaking slit.
"fuckkkkkk," you moan out, the sensations tingling against your body intensely.
you lace both your hands into their hair separately, holding chaewon's head against your neck and yunjin's head against your pussy. their mouths moved so deliciously against your body, making your back arch in your shitty uncomfy dorm room chair.
you feel yunjin's strong hands grip your thighs apart firmly, making sure u couldn't close them, forcing you to take all of her pleasure. chaewon's hands occupied themselves as well, slipping up your tight-fitting tank top, thumbs circling your hardened nipples.
"you like that, sweet thing? does yunnie's tongue feel good lapping at your pussy? like how I just pincchhhh your little nips?" she emphasizes her words as her actions obeyed her command.
"chaewonnie ahh~!" you mewl, thrashing your head around at the stimulation.
yunjin's tongue was so deep inside of you, moving extremely expertly against your clenching walls, her nose rubbing your clit rhythmically. chaewon's mouth kept leaving sloppy kisses all over your neck, shoulders, jaw, and chest, even leaning over to reach it and leave marks. her fingers were so aggressive, never letting your nipples take a break.
it felt so fucking good. your mind was completely clouded with lust as the two girls fucked you for their own pleasure, addicted to the way your body reacted to each and every one of their touches. your grips on them tightened as every thrust of yunjin's tongue hit that delicious spot within you, chaewon's panting against your ear heightening your already overwhelming pleasure.
with the deep groan of yunjin's mouth against your cunt, the vibrations sent you into a blinding orgasm, a series of high pitched whines and whimpers leaking from your lips, back arching off the chair completely. your moans filled the girls' ears, filling them with more lust and desire than ever.
your body collapsed against the chair again as you released deep breaths through the aftermath of your climax. suddenly, you're being pulled up and thrown gently against your plush mattress, feeling your legs forced open once again.
you panic and pry your eyes wide open, looking down at chaewon now between your trembling thighs. "chae, wait wait- fuck!"
she ignores your cries as her tongue laps at the cum you released from your last orgasm, sucking and slurping your sensitive pussy lips. whimpers leak from you as her mouth forces her way around your cunt. you try pushing her head away from your center but your efforts fail as yunjin comes behind you, resting your body against her chest and effectively holding your hands behind your back.
"nuh-uh babe, don't even think about stopping this. just relax..." she breathes out against your ear before turning to capture your mouth with her own.
she kisses you breathlessly, taking the oxygen from your lungs. your whines are completely drowned out by the tongue being shoved down your throat, choking on yunjin's and your own combined spit, the sounds of chaewon's slurping under you making your eyes roll back.
your abused clit throbs and hole clenches around chaewon's greedy tongue, unable to thrash really at all due to the two girls forcing your body to move as they want. the pleasure was way too much, your body couldn't stop jerking at every single swipe of the girls' tongues against you. it almost hurt, how much arousal brewed in your stomach, just anticipating exploding.
yunjin finally releases your mouth and you immediately let out heaving breaths against her lips, tears welling up in your eyes at the sensations crawling across your body.
"fuck fuck fuck fuck..." you chant against yunjin, her holding you against her chest, caressing your skin.
"shhhh, you're okay doll," she coos.
"I... can't, no more," you start sobbing.
"don't resist, just feel..." yunjin kisses across your face.
"cumming, cumming!" you announce with an incomplete cry, ur voice cracking as you yelp helplessly, legs and body shaking uncontrollably.
chaewon doesn't stop her eating, continuing to devour you between your legs. you scream in sobs at her mercilessness, unable to handle anymore, your sensitive cunt red and worn out.
"okay chaewonnie, that's enough," yunjin sighs, grabbing the short-haired girl by her bob and pulling her back, away from your pussy.
your silent sobs don't wipe the lust-filled stare chaewon has in her eyes. you feel small against yunjin's grasp and chaewon's warm hands on your inner thighs.
"we're not fucking done, not even close..." chaewon heaves.
yunjin chuckles sinisterly in your ear, "mm-mm, no we're not."
you tremble and stiffen, the taller girl behind you swiping her long digits across your sloppy slit, gathering slick and dragging her tongue along it.
"y/n's way too fucking sweet and delicious to stop."
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Taylor Swift is Derivative nonsense, not intellectually placed allusions. I'll die on this hill, and I have many more examples beyond just the one listed below.
Let’s talk about the difference between being derivative and utilizing allusion in text. :) 
I’ve seen a lot of defenses for Taylor Swift’s work that hinges on the theoretical concept of intertextuality. People don’t often know that they are arguing over the validity (or emotional impact) of intertextual cessions in Swift’s writing, but they are.
Intertextuality, if you don’t already know, is a set of determinable interwoven texts that all correspond on a particular thematic point. This encompasses, but is not limited to, the literary device of allusion.  
There are many examples of intertextual works, since it is intrinsically post-modern. Yet, I want to talk about how Taylor Swift attempts allusions that only ever fall into flat-facing derivative blandness. I want to talk about how, yes, Swift is in the spirit of the age; yet her work devolves into derivative insincerity simply because she is not an artistic writer.  
Now, for an egregiously bad allusion. (I think it’s worse because Romeo and Juliet is my favorite Shakespeare play). In “The Albatross” Swift writes, “A rose by any other name is a scandal” in which the obvious allusion is to Shakespeare's, “A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet” from the play Romeo and Juliet. The line in the play is often misquoted, so perhaps Swift is just ignorant, however the line means to draw attention to the fact that names are just words the that do not actually dictate the internal nature of someone.  
The full line, from Shakespeare, reads “O be some other name/ What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/ by any other name would smell as sweet;/ So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d” (Romeo and Juliet). Thus, Juliet is lamenting the full divisive way in which her family is at odds with Romeo’s family; upon deeper consideration too, Juliet is modulating how social pressures, often outside our control particularly in youth, can impact and modify the discourse between reality, doing what is proper in accordance with the majority, and intrinsic human desire to fulfill our own needs. So, the line is not only explaining how Romeo and Juliet cannot be together overtly due to familial dispute, but in the same words it explains the full breadth of social dissertation for the pursuit of individual need. Afterall, he would still be Romeo "were he not Romeo call'd." Juliet is admitting that she would still love him with or without the constraint of social obligation due the environment, or family, in which we are born; thus, we can see how individually human desire can be placed at odds with the demands of mainstream society.
This is a nuanced conversation when considering it through moral theory. For instance, we often talk about how people should not go against the mainstream for immoral pursuit of individual desire and that is reasonable; yet herein Shakespeare's work the thematic point is on the morality of love and desire to go against social convention. Shakespeare is saying, "Love is a greater moral good than that of social obligation to follow tradition and to hate who you are trained to hate based on parental teaching." It's a genius fucking line, in a genius fucking play. Now, we all know how the play ends, the lovers run off together, they have a brief day in the sun. However, social pressure and adult obligation catch up to them again and thus they die for it. They die for their courage to love and to go against the mainstream.  
Let’s return to Taylor Swift, the human embodiment of mainstream social pressure, as she writes that "a rose by any name is a scandal." As such, she is saying that all roses everywhere are just a scandal waiting to happen. If everything is a scandal, rather than speaking to any nuance grief to the pervasiveness' of social pressure to adhere to mainstream. Swift is simply throwing petulance to the world, by saying “Rose by any other name is a scandal” she limits what a rose could be, or become in using the verb “is” to fully solidify a rose as a scandal; which is a message that is diametrically opposed to the thematic point Shakespeare is making with his line. For Swift, there is no redemption, no nuance, and there is no subtext in which implicit messaging lay to tell people that going against the mainstream might just be the last thing you ever do but God is it worth it. To live with that brief day in the sun. And die for courage. Swift is just saying the opposite and stating that the mainstream is inevitable- there is no use in fighting it. A name is a name. It remains to tell the rose exactly what it is. Swift lacks imagination.
I would argue that Swift does make obvious attempts at allusion in her work, yet it is so poorly done because she does not actually see or use the thematic point of the source material from which she pulls her allusions. For allusions, to be done in an artistic impactful manner, we must keep to the thematic point of the source material. When the allusion is done correctly there is a “layering” effect in literature that redoubles the overarching themes of human experience in a way that calls us from the past, Shakespeare, to the present. Thus, is the theory of intertextuality in literary works.
(I made that bold because it's the main point of this, and I don't want anyone to miss it).
Taylor Swift’s work here simply does not measure up to anything artistic, thoughtful, or well-done.  It is simply derivative of Shakespeare, but I don't think it qualifies as a true allusion.
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i-ship-everybody · 1 day
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Leo Valdez headcannons - fluffy version
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Gender neutral reader
When dating Leo Valdez you are 100% his favourite person and biggest priority
He’s always looking for you and wanting to be with you
Leo will look to share everything with you, new snack? He needs to share with you, someone says something funny? He needs to tell you about it.
When anything funny or weird will happen he will always look to you and you to him
He loves when you play with his hair
Leo will play with your fingers/hands
Instead of buying you flowers, he will make you flowers out of scrap metal. Every anniversary, birthday, Christmas,etc you get a different type of flower
Leo acts all confident but this man cannot take a compliment
Call him pretty or say he did something well and he will blush and tell you to stop, to shut up if he has too
If you are a reader, painter, collector, music lover, baker/cook, or have any hobbies that involve certain objects, Leo will go out of his way to find you a little something to go with that
Leo always looks shocked when you get him anything
He will be in absolute shock if you get him flowers, he’ll play it off but will definitely keep them forever
He will watch Disney movies (the old ones) with you and he loves them
Leo is a diehard fan of cheesy rom-coms
You will find him doing things that he’s seen in the movies
He’ll run and hide if you point it out
If you are someone that’s quick with comebacks or just witty comments he will have fun just bantering with you
He tells you all about his time in foster care
You comfort him and make him feel loved
He is your #1 defender at all times
Anyone says anything about you and smokes coming out of Leo’s ears
He will however make the worst jokes about you and find them absolutely hilarious when they land horribly and you stare at him like:😑
He is surprisingly good at drawing
In his workshop doodles and sketches of you are everywhere, on sticky notes on the walls, scratched into tables, the corner of blueprints, just about painted everywhere with ink
He will get grease all over his face and arms and forget about it
Leo will then shove himself into your arms getting you both dirty
Once you two get closer and further into the relationship he is the most comfortable person ever, I mean saying every thought he’s ever thought to you comfortable
Like he’s comfortable enough to wake you up in the middle of the night just to tell you about some weird dream he had
He 100% pursued you
Leo saw you, knew he wanted you and went after that
He was nervous but he got Annabeth to help him come up with a way to start a conversation
If he needed to he definitely chased you
He grovelled for you, begged for just one chance
You might’ve just been entertaining him at first, then you realize that Leo is the most dedicated person ever
He is the definition of dedication and devotion
Leo won’t even think of another person if he’s with you
He will be your best friend
One thing about Leo is that he will do anything, and I mean ANYTHING with you
You want to go out? He’s down, you want to go get a snack then walk around? He’s already there, you want to go see a movie? Leo already bough the tickets.
Even activities less suited for him, like museums, library dates or spa days. Basically, any calm activity, he will still put the effort in to stay still and silent
And you do the more crazy, energetic ones, even when your not 100% for it
If your having a bad day, he will come in and do one simple act of kindness that will give you the strength to continue the day
For example, during lunch you will accidentally drop your bite of food from your fork and then put your head in your hands done with the day. He will laugh a bit, then get a napkin to clean it up
You’ll do the same for him
Leo is always dropping kisses onto you
Not specifically your lips or even face, if he’s leaving a room he’ll drop a kiss onto your shoulder than leave
Neither of you are big on PDA, hate it actually
But he will find a way to do casual touches that portray such emoting
He will drag his nails over your back and just give you nice rental scratches everywhere
You guys will listen to each other talk about your interest even when you have no idea what the other is talking about
He steals all the blankets and you will absolutely turn over at night to see him on your pillow
Makes your tea/coffee/any drink the best way ever
Casually drops the most beautiful, thoughtful sentences ever then just leaves
Like words that will stay with you forever
He’s always tapping “I love you” onto you
You learn Morse code and now you communicate through it when you’re around others
He has finally found someone that will put him first and whom he can share an intense, loving connection with
Leo is no longer a 7th wheel and will never be again
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Should I do a NSFW or angsty version? Let me know!
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ya-zz · 2 days
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Hello, if you're taking requests currently could I request the overwatch guys: Ramatra, Genji, Hanzo, Magua, Life Weaver, Cassidy and Lúcio taking care of a fem reader on her time of the month if you write for any of them?
-sincerely a reader suffering cramps <3
Sorry this took awhile to get to, but hopefully this will suffice 💜 I’m also doing this from my phone so apologies if formatting is off
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RAMATTRA
Like most arrogant omnics, he didn’t care at first.
It was just another weak, human thing that didn’t concern him.
But when it came down to you, he softened up and offered to help when he could.
He knows your cycle and everything that comes with it.
He’s done his research, wanting to make the days go by quickly and comfortable for you.
The few days before when your mood is low and you feel lethargic, Ramattra would bundle you up in a blanket and put your favourite movie on.
Everything was prepared afterwards. Hot water bottle for the cramps, your favourite snacks and drink on standby for when you needed them.
If you needed space, he’d oblige… sort of. He’d be in the same room, but distance himself from you.
If you needed more products, he’d get them for you, already knowing which were your preferred coverage.
Ramattra would snuggle up to you at night and warm himself up so you were comfortable.
Should you happen to leak, he’d clean up, no questions asked.
He’d help you through it all, despite the mood swings putting him on edge sometimes.
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GENJI
He’s had his fair share of mood swings with the females he had dated, but he was more than happy to make sure you were okay during your time of the month.
Genji didn’t rely on dates, he relied on your mood.
He was quick with making sure you were comfortable before moving away from you to give you space.
When your arms would open up to him, he would scurry over and hold you until you told him to let go.
You were, in theory, in charge.
If you needed something, food, water, products, he’d get them in a heart beat.
Movie nights were a must, Genji swore by them and while they did help you forget about the pain, it was nice to be close to him.
Your favourite takeout would be ordered for the perfect night in.
He would also, somehow, get you out of the house for a little while. A small walk for some fresh air helped immensely on the bad days.
The ninja stayed with you as much as you would allow him to, and yes, he did tease you about your mood swings when it was all over.
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HANZO
Calendars were made for a reason, and alongside birthdates and events, a small dot to signify the start of your period was on there.
He’d put it in his phone too, just in case he was away.
If it happened to be irregular, he’d rely on your mood, just like his brother would.
Hanzo would grow softer, hands massaging your shoulders when you sat with him.
The bathroom would always be fully stocked too, never seeming to run out of your products.
The archer had reserved a cupboard in the kitchen for your favourite snacks for this exact moment, bringing you what you needed whenever you asked.
Hot water bottles were filled when required, and when they eventually grow warm, Hanzo would gently rub his own hands over the pain.
Hanzo would do anything you asked of him, even if it was as simple as turning the light off because you were in the perfect position in bed.
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MAUGA
First time writing anything Mauga so shhh
He’s staying with you throughout it all.
Protest as much as you want, he ain’t leaving.
Hot water bottle?? Not needed, his hands are hot enough.
He’d let you lay on him at all hours of the day if you wanted.
His hand would soothe over your head when you’re in pain and teary eyed from how bad it is.
He’d tease you over your mood swings, wanting to get a rise out of you because you look “so damn cute.”
Mauga would do anything to take your mind off of it all.
You name it, he’d do it.
He loves you that much he’d kill for you.
He’s one for overbuying snacks and drinks like this would last longer than a month so there’s always extra food laying around for later.
He’s not one to shy away from buying products should you need them, either.
So long as you’re comfortable with him, he’s happy to be there with you through it all.
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LIFEWEAVER
He’s always prepared.
Doesn’t matter if it’s on time or irregular, he’s there with everything you need.
Extra blankets and pillows were pulled out so you were comfy in bed or on the sofa.
Products were always fully stocked in the bathroom and he’d even carry some whenever you went out just in case.
He’d always stay composed when your mood changed quickly, instantly bringing you back to a calm state of mind.
He was careful and gentle, not wanting to make it worse for you.
Niran would ask to cuddle with you and wouldn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you the moment you let him.
Soft hands would rub against the sore and aching parts of your body, easing the tension that had built up.
When he couldn’t be around, he’d leave small notes around the apartment that’d make you smile.
Coming home, he always had a little bag of snacks he bought on the walk back for you.
Just a little something to bring your mood up.
He’d spoil you too, small gifts and flowers that’d take up the table.
Niran would be soft and supportive, giving you exactly what you want whenever you needed it.
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CASSIDY
Don’t expect this cowboy to let go of you anytime soon.
If you push him away, he’ll be the one pouting.
He’ll respect your wishes, of course, but he’d mope.
He'd forget occasionally, but would always make it up to you as quick as he could.
Cassidy would hold you close, hand soothing over your stomach in an attempt to calm the pain.
He'd be affectionate, more so than ever, it makes you question him each time, but he'd shut you up with kisses.
The cowboy would wrap you up in his cowl, his scent easing all worries for you.
No matter how snarky you would get, he always found it fun to verbally battle you.
Cassidy would let you lay in bed for as long as it happened, bringing you everything you requested.
He was happy to be your little servant for a few days, always laughing and joking about the circumstances, but never belittling you over something you couldn't control.
He would always reassure you about how much he loves you when you're teary eyed and doubtful.
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LUCIO
He'd be the type to carry products in his bag just in case it started whilst you were out with him.
Always has spares on hand, each depending on the flow for that month.
If it became painful, he'd give you his homemade hot chocolate and a hot water bottle to put on your abdomen.
Lucio would put on your favourite playlist and let it loop until you got sick of it.
He'd make sure your favourite drink was prepared for you, chilled or hot, whatever you needed, he'd get it ready for you.
Snacks? He'd go shopping right then and there and pick up everything on the list you had given him.
He's a softie, pulling you close in bed and cuddling up close to you.
Blankets upon blankets would cover you both as he'd hum a tune to help you sleep.
If your mood plummets, he would sit with you until you calmed down, not wanting to leave you.
His hand would hold yours until contact would break, but he'd come back the moment he could.
Anything for his brest friend and partner.
55 notes · View notes
stardust-falling · 17 hours
Text
Having more thoughts about Shen Jiu because of course I am.
I don’t think he has the capacity for empathy or genuine selflessness.
He spent the entirety of his formative years deep in survival mode, and because of that, he evaluates people solely based off of how they might threaten or ensure his safety and/or comfort. As far as individual people themselves with their own perspectives… honestly I don’t think he even thinks of that.
Maybe a controversial opinion, but I don’t think even YQY is exempt.
Shen Jiu doesn’t have a moral code. When every day is spent on surviving, a moral code is a luxury.
And really, he just never got out of that mode. See, the thing is, once you’ve had enough adverse experiences it only takes a little bit to trigger you back into that mindset. Shen Jiu was used to being scolded and then beaten or abused, so for him, even a simple chiding is a precursor to abuse— even if he DOES recognize that nothing more will happen, his body and mental patterns will still go into that preparation time.
So of course he never left survival mode, because even if nothing is actively happening, your mind will keep reinforcing those patterns.
For someone with a normal upbringing, as far as I can tell, empathy is something you learn and develop from those around you. Many seem to think it’s something innate and natural and if you don’t have it then there’s something wrong with you from birth. I think Shen Jiu falls into exactly this category of thought— and so he doesn’t even consider that he could try to learn and develop it as a skill he can perform, even if it doesn’t come naturally.
Of course, would he even try? He hasn’t been given any incentive. Any time he has tried to do something good, he ends up getting hurt (saving Yue Qi leading to being taken by QJL) or misinterpreted and admonished (the well ghost incident, keep in mind my earlier point about scoldings perpetuating the same patterns).
So he stays in that same vicious cycle, perpetually in survival mode and unable to escape, even in a relatively secure position (see: his paranoia).
Now, this is all relevant to the discussions of SJ’s feminism, misogyny, and/or lack thereof. I feel like a lot of discussions aren’t really getting the full picture.
SJ sees people, no matter who they are, as solely how they can affect him. Just because this isn’t exclusive to women, or because if comes from a reasonable place, does that really mean it doesn’t play into misogyny?
Let’s take another angle.
I think his abuse of LBH and other talented disciples also is rooted, deep down, in this same issue. He’s not just hurting LBH only to hurt him, his aim is specifically to stunt his cultivation. There’s jealousy at play there of course, but there’s a bit more layers to it too— SJ doesn’t think he’s capable of goodness. So reasonably, he’ll be a bad teacher. He already knows what happens when someone becomes more powerful than their oppressor. LBH may be a child now, but a part of SJ whether he acknowledges it or not sees him as a future threat that needs to be treated as such.
It’s rooted in fear— because everything is with SJ.
So does that mean it’s not actually abuse?
No. The behaviors he shows are still abusive, the reasoning just gives a lens for understanding.
Now, with his views on women— I mentioned in the tags of my original post that I don’t think he views women as people. This is based in that earlier idea of how he interprets others based off their risk and benefit to him. For women specifically, though, there’s another layer.
Shen Jiu grew up in a society where women are inherently lesser— and he grew up in an extreme version of this. He saw women being treated as property firsthand(both as slaves, as well as QJL’s views on his sister). Your worldview is shaped by the world that you view during those early years. Whether he agreed or not, SJ would still take on the patterns of his environment. This, though, is just the same as general societal misogyny and ingrained bias. I don’t think he’s any different than anyone else in this way.
But where SJ’s particular flavor comes in is that to him, women are a source of comfort. For various reasons— positive past experiences, less threatening (or at least don’t carry the dangers men do). He craves comfort— needs it really, because he doesn’t get it and his cortisol levels are always so high they’re poisoning his body. Women are the best source of that comfort for him.
It’s not that he likes them— at least, not any more than someone would like drinking water, or a coat in the winter. They’re fulfilling a survival need for him.
That is what the objectification is where SJ is concerned.
So… is it misogyny?
I’d say yes, in a way it still is. It’s not violent, and it doesn’t come from some inherent sense of “superiority as a man” but at the core of it all, he’s still not viewing women as people, and he has no interest in changing the status quo, because it benefits him to be able to go purchase comfort at a pleasure house, even if it’s not what people usually do there. The picture is bigger than just misogyny, but the traits taken as themselves are misogynistic nonetheless.
I could go into his specific relationships with women and how that informs his character, but this post is already long enough. We know that he mentally divides people by sex, and that distinction has a lot of weight in his judgment of them. Even if it comes from a place of trauma, even if it comes from a general worldview that applies to everyone, he still views women as a commodity— so on some level, and from an outside perspective, he is misogynistic.
In the end, though, it still all comes from him being stuck in survival mode. His lack of empathy, his viewing others as risks and benefits— these things themselves aren’t moral failings— it’s just a consequence of his environment. He’s a bad person because he won’t confront this, develop a moral code, and act on it, not because he doesn’t experience empathy.
But in his circumstance, there’s not really a chance for him to choose to be good. Because he’s still trying to survive, and goodness is a luxury he doesn’t realize he can afford now.
He’s scum, but pitiful, you know?
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dekusheroacademia · 23 hours
Text
Nicholas Light: using homophobia to be cancelled for clout
This is not a call out post, I don't care about that. This is a summary of events that I decided to write because I know how fandom works and behave.
I am tired of seeing people's "The MHA fandom is so toxic!" for events that never happened, and given this youtuber already revealed he is looking for followers through "being cancelled" (as I'll explain), I have no intention of letting the shitshow that happened be forgotten.
So here we go.
Small disclaimer: This is the sequence of events as I remember, with screenshots to add. Please do not harass anyone. Not even Nicholas Light, as he clearly does not want to be involved with the MHA fandom anymore. Block him only and leave him alone, I am serious. The point of this is showing what happened, not confirming his idea of how disgusting mha fans and bakudeku fans are.
Another small point: If I said anything wrong or incorrect in this post, let me know and I will fix it. While I strive to be unbiased, I am only human.
1)Initial tweet
All of this happened in the span of a few hours, the 9th of May 2024, middle of the night at central europe time. All the tweets have since be deleted as Nicholas Light erased a full month of tweets and went private to do so.
Nicholas Light is an anime youtuber with a twitter account (of about 40k followers, this is important later). He posted this tweet:
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I saw it on my tl a couple of times, mainly people saying that he should not generalize and people wondering how come someone who has watched MHA for so long does not know about Bakudeku. This tweet per se is kind of bait-y, but nothing too wild.
A lot of his followers were answering to this tweet with homophobic comments like:
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And Nicholas himself then wrote he was throwing up under a bakudeku safe-for-work chibi fanart gif that someone reposted:
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At this point there were a few comments saying "It is not too bad, Bakudeku has grown a lot as a ship" or "I just saw someone posting Endeavor/Uraraka", and fanart of other ships with an adult and a minor. Nicholas did not reply to any of them, seemingly only focusing on the bakudeku comments.
Here are some examples I managed to recover, as you can see no answer from Nicholas, he was only interested in bakudeku:
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2) The video
At this point, a twitter user replied to Nicholas' main tweet with this:
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As you can see, the user is very calm and even says "come across as homophobic", so definitely more diplomatic than what I could have managed. Nicholas replied with "Stop with the your queer audience", to which the user revealed that they ARE one of his audience.
As you can see Nicholas repeats that he doesn't want that queer follower in his audience, and that "I SPEAK MY MIND". Keep this in mind, the irony of it, especially, given he has erased everything.
The queer twitter user was the only person he addressed, and immediately after them he wrote this and immediately posted a youtube video:
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You can still see his youtube video up, by the way.
This youtuber saw one user replying to him and immediately posted a "I got cancelled for this" youtube video, and a rant of multiple tweets telling his audience "I AM UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME AND I'LL FOREVER SAY WHAT I WANT". He posted another tweet too but I did not screenshot it.
After depicting himself as a victim of being cancelled because one person asked him about how his tweet could be viewed some bakudeku users reacted.
The first to go was the tweet of the video:
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The second was this tweet that was written in reply to his main "i don't want a queer audience" tweet:
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the tweet is still here.
As you can see if you click on the tweet, the problem expressed is that he built a queer audience to earn money, but is now trying to appeal to homophobic anime audiences to be "cancelled", and earn some followers and money. How do we know this?
Because of this tweet:
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This screenshot was taken that same night, so this tweet about "earning from being cancelled" was posted 6 days before he decided to actually try it.
And it is not over. The user andy (the one who revealed about Nicholas' only fans) was immediately blocked, and they were the one finding this "being cancelled= money" tweet and posting it. Imagine what happened: Nicholas immediately deleted this reply from 6 days before. Which meant that he was checking what this bakudeku user was posting to cover his tracks.
3) Lolicon is fictional, but bakudeku is a disease and the fans need therapy
Now let's go back to Nicholas' main tweet in reply to that queer user. You can see how people from his following reacted:
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And this was his answer:
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You can see that he immediately decides to call the user weird because the characters are "little kids", so the user needs to seek therapy for looking at fanarts of bakudeku kissing.
Except that this is when bakudeku fans and non bakudeku fans found his old tweets in defense of lolicon, fictional pedophilia and people like Mushoku:
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Now, the point here is the hypocrisy and double standard.
On one side "loli and fictional children are fictional and cannot be associated with actual crimes", on the other side "gay teenagers being shipped are disgusting and comparable to real life crimes". People were quick to point this homophobic messy double standard.
Nicholas Light himself started to notice that people were finding out his old stuff and he was replying to no one. He first deleted the tweet with the only fans retweet, probably making sure his current homophobic fanbase would not find that, and then replied this to one of the bakudeku fans showing his hypocritical behaviour:
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This was the last tweet before he deleted everything. Calling someone an ableist slur, then saying he was watching movies with his girlfriend and then spending the next hour deleting
every
single
reply
and tweet.
And then he went private and when he came back... he had deleted every single reply and tweet of this mess, and he had deleted every tweet that people had screenshotted around, and every tweet he posted in the previous month:
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He scrubbed his whole account.
We are not sure what happened to him "being unapologetically myself", apparently his strategy to make some cash from being homophobic and harassing small acounts while pretending to be cancelled did not succeed.
And the reason why I wrote this post is because there is the possibility that he might try this again in the future, maybe even with the same fanbase and strategy. So keep an eye out, do not let him fool you.
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msbigredmachine · 3 days
Text
New To This - Chapter 5
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MASTERLIST
“Sup, trick,” a soft voice chuckled next to Delilah, and she turned to see Tiwa, her co-worker at the supermarket, presenting her a can of Mountain Dew and a bowl of jollof rice and stewed chicken as she joined her to sit on the staircase outside on their lunch break. “Want some?”
Delilah grimaced and bit into her carrot stick for emphasis. “You know I can’t have that. I’m workin’ out and shit.”
“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting about your wrestling. Shoulda brought you a salad or somethin’,” Tiwa joked, causing Delilah to roll her eyes good-naturedly. The two women had known each other since high school and had run in different social circles back then, but working together for the past four years had closed that gap between them.
“So, how’s wedding planning going? You still got time for that with your wrestling and all?” Tiwa asked as she threw her braids behind her shoulder.
“It’s going,” Delilah shrugged, staring out into the empty backlot of the supermarket. “My Mama’s making sure it’s going, anyway. We’ve put a deposit on the reception hall, but haven’t decided on the catering. I haven’t even thought about a dress yet. Luckily I got my mom’s wedding dress to fall back on if everything else goes to shit.”
“You sound bored outta your fuckin’ mind,” Tiwa pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve never heard any woman sound this uninterested about planning her own wedding.”
“It’s not boredom. I’m just…tired,” Delilah insisted, shuffling her feet on the step she sat on. “Training and working two jobs hasn’t given me much time to think of anything else.”
“What about your man? Is he going to Panama City with you for the show? I mean, that’s gotta be exciting, right?”
“For me? Absolutely,” she responded, turning her face toward the sun. “The networking opportunities are beyond my wildest dreams. For him? Not really. He’s never been a wrestling fan. And he still thinks I’m outta my mind,” she added with a roll of her eyes. In reality, she knew that half the town thought the same way, but she never let it deter her. What she wanted to do with her life was no one’s fucking business.
Tiwa nodded in what seemed like understanding and chewed her food slowly. “That bad, huh?”
“Yeah, that bad. He’s not cooperating at all.” Delilah huffed, feeling her blood begin to boil already. “First off, he refused to come to my first match. My very first match! He bitches about my training schedule all the fuckin’ time now. What is scaring him so much?”
“Gee, where do I start?” Tiwa snorted.
Delilah looked back at her co-worker, startled by her response. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, girl. Look at it. Y’all supposed to be getting married soon and then your wrestling picks up. I saw your match on YouTube and it’s already at like a hundred thousand views. That’s a fuckin’ big deal, ya know? Not to mention you’re spending time with that steaming hot Jey guy that just might end up being your co-worker. And from all the buzz you’re getting, it’s only gonna be a matter of time before that happens. That’s gotta make Andre uncomfortable.”
She didn’t know her match had made it onto YouTube, but she would get back to that later. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am. And I’m happy for you. This town is boring as fuck. Someone needs to get outta this dump and do something interesting with their lives.” Tiwa took a swig of her Mountain Dew. “So back to you and this Jey dude. He seems to be giving you a lot of attention.”
“Y’all making it sound like me and him are seeing each other every day or somethin’,” said Delilah, her tone a little gruffer than she wanted. “That ain’t the case. Jey’s been like a second coach, like Tank. I want to make it to the big time, and if Jey can help me get there, I’ll take it.”
“You sure he hasn’t hinted at something more? Like, you know…”
Delilah shook her head. “Nope. We only talk about wrestling, that’s it. He’s been very professional.”
“Or he’s just waiting to get you alone,” Tiwa cut in. “Maybe that’s why he invited you to Panama City.”
“He invited both Dre and me. I won’t be alone. Tank’s coming along with me since Dre can’t make it.” She wasn’t sure what Tiwa was trying to insinuate, and though she didn’t like it, she tried not to show it. “Girl you trippin’. Relax. I’m getting married to the man I love. Jey’s already married, I think.”
“You think?” Tiwa repeated, and only then did it dawn on Delilah that she’d never seen a ring on his finger. Still… “He knows better and so do I. I got only one goal in mind, and that’s all I care about.” It had been two weeks since her first match, and she was just getting started with building a reputation for herself within the independent circuit. She was working hard and earning every bit of respect she was gaining, and she really didn’t want to throw all of that away.
“Okay,” said Tiwa. “I’m just looking out for you, girl. Do you, and make sure you’re happy while you’re doing it.”
“I know.” Delilah smiled and looked at her watch. Their break was almost over. “You coulda come with me to Panama City too, ya know.”
“Ha, if I do, who’s gonna cover your shift?” Tiwa said, getting to her feet. “Besides…I got a date on Monday night.”
“Oh. So you’ve finally gotten over your crush on Tank, then?” Delilah smirked as they walked back into the supermarket.
Tiwa gasped and avoided her friend’s teasing stare. “How many times am I gonna tell you, Parrish, it ain’t like that with Tank! It never was.”
“And yet, you’re blushing.”
“…..Bitch, bye.”
—------------------
From her place on the ring apron, Delilah watched in complete awe as Liv Morgan and Becky Lynch practiced in the ring for their match, still a good three hours before Monday Night Raw was set to air. The women were opening the show tonight, and she was very excited to see how it all played out. But watching them rehearse was so much better than anything she could have imagined.
The only thing that would have made her day better was Andre being with her. Of course, they had argued about the trip, in which Tank had tried to step in. He was being completely asinine and paranoid. She would never have stopped him if he had the chance to meet LeBron James or Patrick Mahomes, his favorite athletes. This was a once in a lifetime chance for her, and she really couldn’t understand why he was taking all of this so poorly.
“Now that’s a finisher right there,” Tank interrupted her thoughts as Liv Morgan hit Becky backwards in her signature Oblivion to get the pinfall.
Delilah turned back to look up at the huge Titantron as Liv’s theme song rang out in victory. “This is so cool,” she whispered. How amazing would it be to see her own name in lights that bright?
“Ayyy, look who showed up, uce,” a familiar deep voice sounded from the shadows behind her, and she looked over to see Josh making his way down the ramp. 
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Without thinking through it, she rushed towards him and leapt into his arms. “This is so amazing! Thank you so much, oh my god,” she squealed happily, not caring if she sounded like a total fan girl at the moment. Never did she imagine she could ever experience all she had since coming down to Panama City; the backstage access, getting to meet the amazing wrestlers she watched on TV every single week; it was sensory overload for her as a fan.
Josh laughed as her legs tightened around him, supporting the woman in his arms with her round backside in his hands. “You welcome, baby girl. You enjoyin’ yourself?”
It was then, as he set her back on her feet, that Delilah noticed how good he looked in his Nike tech fleece outfit. At the same time, Tank appeared from the corner of her eye, and she quickly took a step back from Josh. “Yes! Everyone’s been so nice. The wrestlers, the officials, it’s been awesome.”
“Good to hear. Wanna go talk to the girls?” Without waiting for an answer, Josh grabbed her by the hand and tugged her toward the ring where Becky and Liv now sat on the apron. They looked over at the approaching trio and waved. “Hey, Jey, hey Tank,” greeted Liv, her eyes skating over Delilah’s form. “Wanna introduce us to your friend?”
Sneaking behind her, Josh shoved the shy woman closer to his colleagues. “This is Delilah Parrish. She’s an indie wrestler in the Pensacola region,” he introduced.
“Oh, fellow hometown girl, huh?” Becky’s friendly nature was infectious as she extended a hand toward the new woman. “Nice to meet you, Delilah. I’m Becky.”
“Delilah. Like Samson, right?” Liv inquired. When Delilah nodded, her smile widened. “Such a cute name. I like it. You stickin’ around for the show tonight?”
“Yeah.” Delilah muttered shyly. It was the exact same tone she had taken with pretty much everyone she had met so far. It was all so overwhelming, she felt like she was in a dream.
“Ay Livvy Liv, you busy?” Josh asked. When she shook her head, he nodded toward Delilah. “How ‘bout you show our guest here how it’s done in the big leagues?”
Liv set her towel aside with a shrug. “Sure, why not?” she answered, turning her gaze to Delilah. “You up for it?”
Shocked, the trainee looked back and forth between them. “Wait, you want me to wrestle her? Right now?” 
“Now’s as good a time as any,” Josh shrugged, raising an eyebrow. “Unless you think you can’t do it.”
Offended, her eyes darkened right away. “Hell yeah, I can do it.”
He stepped closer to her, staring her right down, “Then show me,” he whispered.
Liv leapt back into the ring and backed up, beckoning for Delilah to join her. “Come on, show me what’cha got,” she challenged.
Before she knew what was happening, Delilah was locking up with Liv freaking Morgan in the middle of the ring, listening for her rushed verbal cues as they sparred like old partners. So immersed was she in the match they were constructing, Delilah didn’t notice that Josh and Tank had been joined by a few other men.
“Who’s the girl?”
Turning his head slightly, Josh took his boss’s hand in a handshake and then returned his attention to the action in the ring. “She’s one of Tank’s,” the Samoan spoke of the trainer who was now shouting instructions to his pupil from outside the ring, while Becky cheered on Liv on the other side.
Triple H watched with a critical eye as the new woman launched herself off of the ropes and knocked Liv to the mat with an impressive, albeit stiff clothesline. “She’s unpolished,” he deduced.
Josh shrugged. “She’ll get better,” he assured the older man. “Her very first match was just two weeks ago and she killed that shit, man. Two hundred thousand views on YouTube already,” he added, a hint of admiration creeping into his voice.
“I see.” The multi-time World Champion nodded his head, his gaze still fixed on the story the women were trying to tell in the ring.
As Liv wedged her horizontally between the ropes by the turnbuckle, Delilah glanced to her left, her heart nearly jumping into her throat when she saw Triple H of all people, watching intently a few feet away, as though waiting for her to do something special. She was so distracted that she didn’t hear Liv’s reminder to brace herself for the impact of her double-knee attack. Liv’s knees and shins colliding with her sternum knocked the air right out of her, causing her to collapse hard in the corner, limbs twisting everywhere as she hit the canvas.
“Shit, I’m sorry!” Liv screeched, as Delilah rolled to her side and slowly made her way to her knees with a moan. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It was my fault,” she puffed, taking the other woman’s extended hand to pull her up.
“Yeah, Triple H has that kind of effect,” Liv said, winking at her. “I was the exact same way the first time I saw him.”
Risking another glance at the base of the ramp, Delilah breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that Hunter had left them alone, but dread quickly filled her insides as she wondered what he’d thought of her performance.
“What the hell was that?” Josh’s laughing voice interrupted the ladies’ conversation. Delilah blushed wildly and ducked under the bottom rope. “I panicked,” she admitted softly. “So tell me the truth,” she said. “How bad did I fuck up my only chance to impress that man?”
Josh helped her out of the ring and set her down on her feet. “You tried. Let’s just leave it at that.” Her nervous expression caused him to wrap an arm around her waist for a quick hug. “But ay, you went for it, and Hunter appreciates that,” he whispered.
The feel of his breath on her ear sent shivers down Delilah’s spine. She shook it off quickly, deciding that she was still being a fangirl, that it was just his breathtaking presence that still affected her. She would have felt the exact same way if it had been Andre holding her like this.
Mistaking her inner turmoil for something else, Tank nudged her from her other side. “You did good, kid. I could tell Hunter liked it,” he said.
The uncharacteristic compliment from her usually no-nonsense teacher caused Delilah to blush, but before she could respond, a stage hand called for Tank to follow him up the ramp, leaving her all alone with Josh. She felt very self-conscious as she walked next to him towards the backstage area.
Somewhere along the way, Josh had invaded Delilah’s thoughts and fantasies on more than a few occasions. Never, since getting with Andre, had she ever thought about another man while making love to her fiancé, until lately. She wanted to blame it on seeing him every week on TV, recalling his deep, seductive voice on the phone, all of which left her imagining things she never dreamed of. Yeah, he seemed to be a bit touchy feely, but he had never made an outright pass at her, and had done nothing beyond a few flirty words and gestures. Maybe she was overthinking it too much and just needed to relax.
Josh looked down at her, trying not to stare into her tank top from his considerable vantage point. She was engaged to be married, but he couldn’t seem able to tell himself that it meant she was off limits. He was drawn to how unaware she was of her beauty and her sexiness, and it made her that much more attractive in his eyes. “You quiet. What’s on your mind?” he asked her, forcing himself out of his wayward thoughts.
Delilah followed him into a huge locker room. “Just thinkin’ about how surreal all of this is. It’s one thing to see it on TV. It’s a whole ‘nother thing to see it all up close…” she trailed off, shaking her head in awe.
Grabbing two bottles of water, Josh directed her to a table and sat across from her, opening her bottle before sliding it to her. “Yeah. Wait until you become an actual employee.”
Scoffing, she drank from the bottle and leaned back in her chair. “Right. Like that’s gonna happen.”
“What makes you think that?”
With a sigh, she looked around the empty room. “I don’t know. For all intents and purposes, I’m still a rookie,” she reasoned. “I got so much more to learn. I don’t even look like the typical WWE Superstar. My hair’s too damn big and curly. I haven’t put on enough muscle yet.” Casting a glance over her own body, she sighed again. “And I’m gonna need implants, which I definitely can’t afford,” she added.
Josh looked her over, zeroing in on her chest. After seeing her in her wrestling outfit a couple of weeks ago, he was convinced there was nothing wrong with her hot body. “You don’t need no implants,” he assured her.
Shock washed over Delilah at his blatant assessment. “Okay, um, so where else are we going after this?” she asked nervously, hoping to break the suffocating tension building between them.
“Whatchu doin’, Delilah?” Josh ignored her question, watching her brush her hair out of her face for the hundredth time, the glint of the rock on her engagement ring seemingly taunting him every time she did so. “What exactly are you puttin’ in all the hours training and wrestling for? To achieve your dream? Or to get away from your fiancé?”
Recoiling a little, Delilah narrowed her eyes at what he had asked. Why was he being so intrusive? “Dude…” she stammered, her defenses going right up. "I’m not…I’m not sure how that’s any of your business.”
“Baby girl, this business is everything to me,” Josh said to her, his tone strangely serious. “It’s my whole life. And I get a kick out of seeing other people who love it too and get immersed in it for all the right reasons.” Shaking his head, he crossed his massive arms over his broad chest. “I need to know which side you’re on, so I’ll know whether I’m wasting my time with you or not.”
“Wasting your time? What the fuck…I never asked for your attention, Josh!” she shot defensively, staggered by this sudden change to their conversation. "To be honest, I don’t even know why you are showing any interest in me.” Behind her, she heard the door open, and she forced herself to lower her voice, even though she was seething at his audacity. “Maybe I should ask you. What’s in this for you, huh? Why me? There are a million other new wrestlers that you could be focusing on.“
Shrugging a shoulder in agreement, Josh leaned back in his chair and let his dark gaze scan her from head to toe. "Maybe,” he conceded, a smirk playing on his lips. “But it’s not them I wanna fuck.”
The words struck her like a blow to the gut. Did she hear him right? Was he suggesting that he wanted to sleep with her? That he was as attracted to her as she was to him? Did he fantasize about her too? Did he forget she was engaged? Wasn’t he married? How could he make such an open confession?
Before she could say something, the room began to fill up with members of the Raw roster, Josh stood up and gestured for her to do the same. “Come on. Let’s go find Tank,”  he said to her.
--------------
Thoughts?
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kamii-2 · 14 hours
Note
you should make a kk arnold or ice brady or nika mühl fic when the reader is straight but one of them turns them 🌸 and then it ends in like a heavy smut.
so basically like pick from one😭, but like imagine one of them with a strap and they whisper in the readers calling them a slut for them😱.
especially nika in her accent 😱😫
-👾
hi 👾 anon!! i love the request so much and this is my first time writing for nika so i’m sorry if it’s out of character and im so sorry it’s so late ive been busy lately and right now is the only time i get to write. this story is pretty long ALSO i might make this a series bc i love this request so much bro 😭
warning(s): cussing, smut
genre: fluff & smut
pairing(s): nika mühl x reader
not proofread ‼️
==================================
everyone knew you were gay but you just didn’t know it. the way you stared at nika every time she walked past made everyone suspicious, except yourself. you took it as you had a friend crush on her even though you guys were already friends, you thought that maybe you jsut wanted to get closer to her? you weren’t sure and hoped it stopped but didn’t at the same time. nika on the other hand, she knew you wanted her but played it cool because she knew you were confused about your sexuality. you had told her that you were straight but she’s no idiot, she sees the way you eye her down.
-
it was 8:39pm and you were in your room, listening to music. you were scrolling on instagram when nika popped up and you got the familiar butterfly feeling. you set your phone down and started to think of her, which lead to you thinking of fucking her, then after realizing you thought about fucking nika you immediately started to realize..
“holy shit, i’m gay.”
you knew she would be awake so you asked to come over. you texted her and she immediately replied to you, she said you could come over so you grabbed everything you needed and walked to her dorm that was at the other end of the hallway. you thought about everything that just happened as you made your way to her dorm.
when you reached her dorm you opened the door, knowing she left it unlocked for you. the moment you walked in you went straight to her room where she was sitting on her bed on her phone. when you walked in she stood up am dah be you a hug and you returned it before wucikly pulling away. “nika.” you said, “y/n.” she said with a bit of a concerned voice, you dragged her to her bed and sat her down. “you’re gonna want to sit for this.” you said and you looked down at her, she sat on the bed leaving back a little, man spreading, she looked so fine.
“okay so,” ypu hesitated, “i was in my room and i was on instagram and i started thinking and i realized im gay.” you said kind of fast and you were very nervous, you were getting hot from being flustered and near your ‘new’ crush. she smiled at you, “baby, i’ve known since forever, the way you stare at me gives it away.” she told you while sitting up and grabbing your waist. you weren’t gonna lie, you were getting wetter and wetter every second just from the sight of nika. you imagined all of the things you guys could be doing right now, and she was obviously thinking the same thing.
she pulled you into a kiss and you immediately kissed back. she caressed your body with her hands, she grabbed your ass and it took you by surprise so you gasped and she slipped her tongue in your mouth, the kiss turned from hot to heated real fast. the sexual tension was through the roof, you wanted her and she knew it. nika has been thinking about this moment for a while now, she wanted to know what your moans sounded like, what you tasted like, what you looked like under your clothes, she knew you were beautiful under but she wanted to see for herself, she wanted you and needed you badly.
she broke the kiss and stood up. “God, y/n. i need you so bad.” she said as she flipped you two around and made you lay down. she kissed you then kissed all over your neck, leaving a few hickies here and there and licking you. you needed to be touched, you were getting desperate. “please nika, do something to me.” you pleaded. she smiled on your skin before getting on her knees in between your legs, she looked up at you for consent even though she already knew the answer. “nika, just put your fingers in me already. i need you so bad.”you begged, you were getting frustrated by how slow she was going. “stop being so whiney.” she said while taking your shorts and panties off, she smiled when she seen how wet you were for her. she stuck her two fingers in you with no warning and pumped in and out of you at a normal pace. you were moaning and it was just like she had imagined.
the sound of your angelic moans made her want to taste you, she added her mouth and ate you like you were her last meal. you were making all of the fantasies come true, you moaning and she uses her fingers and mouth to fuck the life out of you. nika was soaked at the sight of you, she knew she was gonna have to teach you some stuff but she didn’t mind.
you were so close the cumming, a few thrust you might explode. “oh, i’m about to cum.” you moaned out, “that’s too bad, you wanna give attitude then you’re not about to do shit.” she said non-chalantly. the longer you held it the louder you got, “please nika, i need to cum. i’ll do anything im sorry for being a bitch.” you pleaded, your legs were shaking, you couldn’t take it. she removed her mouth a continued to finger fuck you and she stood up and leaned into your ear. “go ahead and cum for me.” nika whispered in your ear and went down to your neck and left big and dark hickies all over. you came and she stood up, pulled her fingers out, “i’ll be right back.” she informed you as she left the room.
when she came back she had a towel and a amazon box, she put the box the floor and helped you stand up. nika placed the towel down and told you to sit on the towel, she opened the box and pulled out a strap. “wow.” you muttered, “first time?” she glanced over at you as she took off her shorts and shirt, leaving on her black panties and bra. “no im not a virgin, just didn’t expect you to be the type to use a fake dick.” you told her with a small giggle. she looked up at you with a smile as she put the strap on, “well i am.” she told you as she walked over to you and lined herself up with you, “ready?” her hands were on your hips, gripping them hard. you nod in response, she slowly pushes into you, using your wetness as lube.
nika starts to go faster every couple thrusts and the faster she got the more pleasure you felt, “oh God!” you moaned out. your legs were threatening to close around nikas waist but she held them open. the way she thrusted in and out of you had your legs shaking after a few minutes of it.
while she was fucking you stupid and you were moaning her name she leaned down to your ear, “you’re such a slut for me.” her words made you moan loud, it gave you butterflies and it made your urge to cum stronger. she loved your reaction to this so she said something else, “who do you belong to?” this sent way over the edge, “yours, i’m all- oh, y-yours.” you were trying hard to not stutter and moan while talking but it was not easy, “yes baby, that’s right. you are all mine.” she reassured you, the pet name was your last straw, you came all over her strap. she helped you ride out your orgasm before pulling out and taking the strap off and setting it on top of you. she went to get another towel the wipe the strap snd you down.
“nika.” you called to her, “hm?” she replied as she was putting the strap back in the box. “let me please you, i want to make you feel good.” you told her while you stare at her, she smiled at this and replied with “sure, i’ll help you if you need it.” she said as you guys traded places. you got on you knees in front of her and removed her panties, she automatically spread her legs for you. you looked up at her, “im sorry if i fuck up.” you say as you start to suck on her clit. “damn, y/n i thought you didn’t know what you were doing.” she whimpered, “i don’t.” you replied from in between her. you added a finger in snd plunged in and out of her, she took your hand and made you add another finger, the amount of please was over whelming and she was a moaning mess. “fuck!” she moaned as her legs closed around your head, you pry her legs back open with one hand. you started to suck harder and finger her faster, she pushed your head down into her pussy. she was moaning loud and cussing, some words in english some in croatian.
“oh, y/n i’m cumming.” she informed you while her legs were shaking, “do it.” just as you said those words she came in your mouth and you licked all of it. while you got off your knees she walked to the bathroom to clean up, you followed her and helped her.
-
you guys were both getting dressed when she sat next to you, “so, what are we?” you asked her. “y/n, will you be my girlfriend?” she asked you, “yes nika i will.” you smiled and kissed her.
you both spent the rest of the night cuddling, watching movies, and more. you were happy you came over after your realization or none of this would’ve happened.
==================================
i’m so so so so so sorry this took so long to get out but i hope you enjoyed!! also id like to clarify the strap nika used was NOT used on anyone else but anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋
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saragarnier · 2 days
Text
Away from you
Tumblr media
Pairing: jay halstead x reader
Summary: y/n doesn’t know where Jay truly is and she got worried
Warning: angst, slightly smut, cheating,
A/N: i will probably write a part 2, stay tuned!
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
You and Jay had been together for three years and everything looked good, at least it was ‘till the end of the march. You didn’t know or understand why he changed his behavior when he was with you, especially since it all happened so quickly and unexpectedly that you just couldn’t understand what happened between you two. From one day, he just started to behave differently, coming home later and telling you that he was just too busy at work, doing some paperwork and getting his things ready for the next shift. He made it looked like he was just trying to impress Voight and for a moment you actually believed him.
You knew how much he wanted to become, one day, sergeant and to be on the lead of his own unit and you just wanted to support him in any ways you could; if he wanted to make a good impression in case of a new sergeant, you wouldn’t have stop him. Actually, it looked like Voight was having some issues lately, from how Jay talked about him after work anyway, and you really trusted him and believed him about his story.
Then, one evening, you decided to go talk with Kim, having some times together and trying to explain to her what you had in mind: Jay’s birthday was closer than you thought and you had to find a good gift for him.
“I need you to help me.” You said to Kim, smiling softly. “Jay’s birthday is in two weeks and i want to surprise him with a two-days holiday. I know that he spends a lot of time at the district doing his paperwork and trying to make a good impression in case of a promotion, but i really need your help. Can you please find a good reason to get him home earlier on Friday’s night?”
Kim was surprised by your statement, not because of the surprise you were preparing for him, but for what you said about him staying at the district till late.
“What do you mean that he spends a lot of time at the district to make a good impression? He always leaves before me, actually he arrives earlier to complete the paperwork he usually leaves at the end of the shift.”
You were confused, you were really confused. What did that mean? If he usually left the district early in the evening, why he came home every night after 11 pm, when you were already sleeping?
“Uhm… he usually doesn’t come home before 11 pm.” You whispered, looking at Kim while your mind raced through all the nights you waited for him to come back home, before falling asleep because of the tiredness of the day at work.
“Y/n, i swear to God that he usually leaves at 7 pm, 8 pm if we’re up to something ‘till late.” Kim said, looking sadly at you, while something you didn’t want to admit passed through her mind.
“But… it doesn’t make sense.” You replied, shaking your head slightly. “What does he do between 7 pm and 11 pm then?”
The girl just shook his head, looking ad you sadly and placing her hand on yours, trying to reassure you in some ways. “Maybe it’s not something you have to worry about, maybe it’s just some stuff he had to do or, maybe, it’s just a bad moment for him. I remember he was like this when he suffered from PTSD.”
You nodded, but it didn’t make sense anyway. You remembered when Jay suffered from PTSD because you were always by his side, you were always there for him and you followed him step after step, trying to help him find his way out of it. It couldn’t be PTSD that time, you would have noticed immediately.
He wasn’t distressed like he was when he suffered from it, he was actually really happy and he was usually calm when he came back home.
It could be PTSD, but what was it then?”
“Sorry Kim, i have to go.” You whispered, looking at your phone and finding out it was just 9:30 pm; you had still plenty of time before he could have been home and you wanted to find out what was happening with your boyfriend, actually with your future husband.
“Don’t worry darling, it’s okay.” Kim whispered, smiling at you. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? Maybe you can come at the district one day and we can talk a little? Also Adam and Kevin missed you, you know. With all the preparations of the wedding, we didn’t see you around in a while.”
“Yeah, when i’m not at work at the hospital, i’m around the city trying some white dresses.” You sighed, wearing your jacket and placing some money on the table, paying for your own drink.
“I can imagine that. Don’t worry, really. I hope to see you again soon.” She smiled softly at you.
“I hope that too. Bye Kim, goodnight.”
You left the bar just ten minutes after and you immediately called the one and only that could have tracked Jay’s phone without a word: Mouse.
When he came back from the army, for the second time, you knew that it would have been difficult for him to start a new life again, especially after the first time. Jay helped him and, after some weeks in which he tried to convince him every single day, Mouse accepted to come back at the intelligence as a tech. It wasn’t an easy decision for him and it was strange at first, but he knew he had no better option and working with his friend was something he missed a lot.
He picked up the phone after the second ring.
“Hi! Look who showed up!” He smiled and laughed. “I was actually asking myself when you would have called me to give me the official invite to your wedding, you know? I would have asked Jay, but he i’m pretty sure is not as much involved in the preparations as you are, so…”
“Mouse, i need your favor.” You told him straight away. “I can’t find Jay and I’m worried. Can you please track his phone and tell where he is? And, can you do that without anyone knowing it?”
It was a strange request, especially since it went from you, but Mouse got it immediately and he started to track Jay’s phone straight away. He was actually scared for his friend, he was scared that Jay got into real trouble, maybe with the ptsd or something liked that, but there was no time for questions. He tracked his phone and he gave her the address after only three minutes.
“Thank you, Mouse. Sorry if i interrupted your evening. I have to go now and, don’t worry, I’ll handle the invite in person, okay?” You said, getting inside the car while looking at the address Mouse gave to you. It could be true, why was he there?
“Don’t worry, no problem at all. I’ll leave you now, i guess you’re busy… just, tell me if anything happened to him, okay?” He replied, making sure that everything was okay, making sure that you would have called him in case of trouble.
“I will, thanks Mouse.”
When he hung up, you started the car and you drove to the location he sent you; why the hell was Jay at his old apartment? Didn’t he sell it?
When you arrived at the location, you parked the car and you got out as soon as you could, going up the stairs and reaching his door just few minutes after. Fortunately, you still knew where he used to hide the key and you went for it, opening the door as silently as you could. The first thing you noticed when you entered was the emptiness of the room: there was nothing there other than some furnishings and still you didn’t understand why Jay was there.
Then, you noticed it.
Then, you noticed them: heels and they weren’t yours.
Your mouth became dry and you stopped breathing properly, trying to find an explanation for what you were seeing. You took some steps forward and your eyes fell on the jeans and t-shirts that were on the floor, all the way up to what it was Jay’s bedroom before he moved out. You took the hallway, starting to hear voices, moans you didn’t want to hear, moans you just wanted to be from your neighbors, even if you knew that they were elderly and it couldn’t have been them. Just at the front of the door, you saw them: panties and Jay’s boxer.
Your brain stopped working, you stopped breathing and your heart almost stopped beating; you just couldn’t understand what was happing, you couldn’t believed it.
You zoned out, like you couldn’t have been there, like you were just in a dream, a bad dream, a really bad one, then you came back to reality when you actually saw and hear them.
“Oh, Jay.” She moaned, begging him. “Please, faster.”
Hailey.
Jay’s partner.
“God, Hails…” Your boyfriend moaned, lowering himself on her to kiss her breast while fucking her. “I… shit… you feel so good around me.”
“Oh, J-Jay!” She moaned louder, unaware of your presence on the frame of the door, where you were watching them, without breathing.
Jay took Hailey’s legs and he put it on his own shoulder, increasing the pace.
“Yes, cum around me, baby. Cum for me, i love you.”
Surprisingly. It wasn’t watching him fucking her that destroyed you: it was his last three words, the same three words he said to you every morning before going to work, the same three words he said to you on the phone when he was to busy at work to come home, even if he was actually heading to his old apartment, when he was able to fuck his partner whenever he wanted to.
You stepped back silently, to broken to face the truth, to heart broken to face him.
You stepped back and you left without saying a word, without make noise; you went back inside your car and only then, when Hailey’s and Jay’s moans were far away from you, you started breathing again.
Tears were streaming down your cheeks from minutes probably, but you couldn’t notice it before and you were to shocked to dry off your tears: you just wanted to add as many distance as you could between you and the man you thought was the love of your life.
You didn’t even went back to your apartment, you couldn’t have handle being again in the house that would have been yours,the house in which you hoped you would have started a family with Jay. You didn’t go back to your apartment to collect all your belongings, you just left.
You left a message to your boss’ office regarding your resignation and you drove away.
Away from Jay.
Away from your apartment.
Away from the life you dreamed of with him.
Away from the love.
Away from the pain.
Away from Chicago.
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