#I wanna do fanart I want to make and stop caring what people want to see because that's... not making me as happy as it use to

[katzirrart]

I apologize for the dead air here lately. I've been exclusively posting to P*treon about sketch pages. Which has been nice to talk at LENGTH about - and to use regular graphite pencil again?? Very weird, but nice.

I've really been struggling this past year with my art, and I even tried to revisit Ask Xigbar to PUSH through my burgeoning art block but... it just started to feel like a chore again. Especially when that's the blog I DO notice numbers most... 8+ hours of work... 100 notes... doesn't feel good on the ego. Even when I try to ignore it.

Social media is kinda exhausting for me, I miss communities and being active in fandom WITH people and having a good time, but being driven by engagement and interaction blows... I miss just... talking to strangers and having conversations, honestly.

I miss throwing art into the abyss and someone now and then commenting something to warm my heart, or sending me an ask and feeling something about it and ENGAGING WITH TALKING ABOUT AN AU OR SOMETHING... I love my AUs but I only share like 30% of them?? I also just miss... genuinely feeling like I cAN'T STOP DRAWING. Like I just have an ITCH to scratch!!

So I just... I've razed my style to the ground!! I'm revisiting fundamentals, I'm relearning anatomy, structure and getting some fluid back in my art. I'm applying learning, and I'm just trying to enjoy art again and reinventing my style some. I'm trying to get back to a point in my art I miss, where I think I was happiest, and most productive. Which will benefit my original stuff as well.

Might be a few months still for studying but... ya'know. At least shit will be interesting.

#kat talks #my tarot project is gonna be a p*treon exclusive project I start digging into this year probably at least on the planning part #but boy howdy uh... get ready for me to slam in here with marvel fanart this year #can't believe loki is making me remember how much I use to love nate and wade how insane #INSANE I TELL YOU #but also like idk I have a really pleasant grab bag of favorites to draw and series I enjoy that make me happy anymore #I wanna do fanart I want to make and stop caring what people want to see because that's... not making me as happy as it use to #but also like man I miss people engaging with my OCs LBR... I MISS THE ROT THIRST EVEN IF I HATE THAT SCOUNDREL....

[ramons-elevator]

After all everything that happened yesterday, my heart aches. I watched Bads VOD because i couldnt at the time and bawled my eyes out when he read Pommes letter

And if you are in the same boat, i need you to remember something.

Even though this year so far was really rough for the QSMP, please please please remember that this server was built on love and survived because of all the love that was put into it

Quackity wanted to bring his english speaking friends and spanish speaking friends together because he loves them both

He wanted to add as many languages as he could because he wanted as many people as possible to see how amazing different people cultures are

The eggs were only supposed to be a short event but lasted for over a fucking year because the community and the CCs loved them so much

So many defense and safety things came into play, like TTT or the Ninho, because the Ccs loved their kids so much

Pac e Mike/the brazilians started the trend of making cultural events because they wanted everyone to experience what they do in their culture and show how amazing it is

People logged on everyday to take care of their egg and just to hang out with their friends

CCs met up IRL and flew to places they had never been before because they love each other and wanted to spend time with each other

People like Foolish, Bad, Cellbit, Roier, Philza, Fit, Bagi and more started to learn Spanish, Portuguese, French, and German because of their eggs and wanted to communicate with each other more. Hell, I started learning Portuguese because i wanted to understand Cellbit and Tazercraft more

This server was built on love and survived because of the months and months of love that got put into it

Please never forget that love. Keep creating fanart, fanfics, cosplays, etc.

Ill never forget what this server and eggies did to my life. I never wanna stop learning different languages because of this server.

Love is the reason this server exists and its the reason it will never die <3

#qsmp #qsmp eggs #quackity #i rewrote this three times #i cant never describe how much this server means to me

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

My AO3 acount

writershapeholeonthedoor

My Masterlist on Tumblr

Requests

SUPERCORP

One-Shots

Yellow Sun: Lena had never been more comfortable in her entire life

It's Cold Outside: 6 times Lena feels cold and 1 time Kara promises to keep her warm

Good Luck Kisses: There's a new trend around

You marked more than just my skin: Kara gets a tattoo and Lena is an tattoo artist

Dino gear: Kara’s main goal is to make Lena happy

You look perfect: Lena can't stop staring

I'm slowly dying (with or without you): Lena has a panic attack, Kara’s there

Old friends: Sam attends Alex's wedding.

Baby Driver: Lena doesn't know how to drive and Kara offers to teach her so she can take her license, however, driving proves to be harder than Lena thought it would be.

Drabbles

Kara declaims short poems at Lena part 1

Kara declaims short poems at Lena part 2

Supercorp at Quarantine part 1

Fanart/Gif sets drabbles (inspired by fanarts or gif sets from other people)

Wives spending a cozy night at home

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Kara explaining her tattoos

Lena’s Birthday

BISHOVA

Slumber Party: Yelena wants to have a slumber party tonight.

That is not cutlery: Yelena keeps coming back and Kate just might end up wanting her to stay.

CAROLNAT

I Wanna Believe (that we're a masterpiece): Natasha seems to be unable to take care of herself, so Carol decides she will be the one to do that.

WANDANAT

Pillow talk: Natasha is back from a mission and all she wants is to see Wanda. Wanda, however, is already enterteined with another activity.

Take Care: Everyone tries to warn Wanda what a bad idea it is to fall in love with the big, bad, scary spy.

TWILIGHT

Drabble: Cute Rosalie and Charlie bonding moment.

Bella is high: Bella smokes weed.

FLORENCE PUGH X READER

Sunday Plans: It's a lazy Sunday morning and Florence has an important question for you

Happy Together: A cute unplanned date night with your girlfriend, Florence.

Black widow: Cooking With Flo is back and you make an accidental cameo that get the entire world to know about you relationship with Florence.

Kiss me more: This is the first time your friends are meeting your girlfriend and you're excited about it.

Sunrise in the East: Reader is very happy having one-night stands or having friends with benefits, avoiding any serious relationship for a while now. However, things change and she suddenly starts to think that dating wouldn't be all that bad.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON X READER

Mrs Hollywood: It's not always easy to date a Hollywood star.

Make up your mind: You ask Scarlett out on a date.

Mayores: Someone sends you flowers and your girlfriend isn't happy about it.

ELIZABETH OLSEN X READER

Marry you: During an interview, someone asks you to marry them and your girlfriend isn't happy about it.

Marry you (part 2): Your girlfriend proposed, your friends are happy for you, and you still have work to do.

Marry you (part 3): It's time for the world to know about your relationship.

Cool kids: Elizabeth meets your son.

Love me harder: You are having a nice day out with Elizabeth when a paparazzi stumble over you.

Happier than ever: Your last relationship was toxic and you're still coping with that.

Only girl: You and Elizabeth enjoy a quiet night at home.

She's so lovely: Elizabeth introduces you to the world.

Lay all your love (on me): You get hired to be Elizabeth’s love interest in her new movie and nothing could prepare you to how your life would change upon meeting her.

Skin: *SMUT* There are times when you need Elizabeth to consume you.

Runnin' home to you: After months of trying, it’s time to tell your wife that you're pregnant.

Dog days are over: Elizabeth isn’t a dog person… but you are. After the puppy interview, you try to convince your girlfriend to take one of them home.

Tattooed heart: You have tattoos everywhere and your girlfriend suffers from severe anxiety. You learned to walk around with Sharpies to help her out.

Into you: A quiet day at home with the person that consumes your every breath.

| Last updated: Jan. 20th, 2024.

#my writing #masterlist #fanfic #ao3 #supercorp #bishova #carolnat #twilight #florence pugh #scarlett johansson #florence pugh x reader #scarlett johansson x reader #drabbles #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #wandanat #wanda x natasha

[introspectivememories]

what's wrong with data analyst bernard?

summary: tim's a workaholic ceo. bernard is, to put it simply, a down-on-his-luck loser with a kid to take care of. somewhere along the line, they meet. (very loosely based on the 2018 hit kdrama, "what's wrong with secretary kim?")

A/N: for @chamiryokuroi bc this fanart has given me brainrot since the moment i saw it. but also bc, i missed writing and your art helped. i hope you like it. (more notes at the end.)

Today is a good day, Bernard thinks happily, brand new ID badge bouncing on his tie. It's his first day at Wayne Ent. and Mori had sent him off with a hug and muttered, "have a good day, Tou-san." It's been bouncing around in his head all day. Tou-san, Tou-san, Tou-san, he's really a dad now. He's got to make sure Mori has everything he needs and this new job is going to make sure he can do that.

Shaking his head once to clear it, he takes a sip of the complimentary coffee a team member bought him for his first day. His team leader, Young-joon Lee, is taking him on a tour of the building. Young-joon is a wonderful man in his late 30s but it's very clear that he's been consumed by the office lifestyle.

"...and here is our magnificent lobby!" Young-joon is saying as he tunes back in. His team leader spreads his arms wide out as he speaks, "Everyone knows the lobby but it's my personal philosophy that making friends or at least being on amicable terms with the ground floor staff will make your life easier."

Bernard laughs politely, "I know what you mean. I can't tell you how many times being nice to the host at the restaurant I used to work at saved my butt during rush hour."

"A man after my own heart!" Young-joon says, smiling widely as he leads him to the help desk.

Bernard tilts his head up to look at the skylight. It's a gorgeous thing with little animal motifs running alongside it. It lights up the lobby bringing a welcoming feeling into it. With the sunlight pouring into the room, along with the din of busy workers in slacks running to and fro, it really feels like stepping into a movie.

Are you seeing me Darls?, he thinks with a childlike glee, hand coming up to thumb at his badge again, I made it!

"This, my friend," Young-joon says, pulling up to the help-desk, "is our wonder-duo. Tamara and Abhishek. They practically run this building. Lord knows we'd be tripping all over ourselves without them."

Tamara and Abhishek smile as they get introduced.

"They run this building?" he asks confusedly.

"You see, young padawan," Abhishek says, "not only do we help the people that come in here asking questions or for instructions, we also answer any questions the staff has for us."

"Things like, 'What's HR’s number?' or 'Can you page Data for me?' or 'No seriously, I'm calling HR on this man right now. What is their number?'" Tamara says grinning.

Bernard laughs. It feels like that's all he's been doing since he got here. "You have to tell me the story on that one day."

"Sorry," Tamara says, faux-apologetic, "the minimum clearance on that story is half-a-year. Gotta level up."

His cheeks hurt from smiling. This is his and Mori's new beginning. This is where they level up. Nothing's gonna stop him now.

"Do you know the story behind that one?" he asks, turning to Young-joon.

"Of course! But where would be the fun in telling you? You have to stay the six months and if luck comes my way, longer."

"You want me for longer?"

"Of course, I saw the way you worked during those practice problems in the interview. I had to fight the other team leaders for you. It was brutal."

"Get back I say!" Young-joon says, miming a sword fight. A pleased warmth builds in his chest; they wanted him, they wanted him!

Darls you better be fucking watching this. I'm movin' up in the world.

"Ooh, send me that footage. I wanna see our newest recruits skills," Abhishek says.

"You got the data team fighting over you?" Tamara asks, eyebrows raised, "I wanna see it—"

Whatever she was going to say is cut off by the sound of both of their pagers pinging. Immediately going stock still, they start typing on their computers.

Bernard turns to Young-joon confused but his team leader looks like nothing is out of the ordinary.

"The boss is coming." Young-joon says, like that's a reasonable explanation for two people shutting down in the middle of the conversation, "It's always quite a spectacle and they always have to notify the other execs. Just watch."

Still, the boss? Maybe Bruce Wayne will say 'hi' to him and he'll charm the CEO and Mr. Wayne can figure out a way to—

No, no. He's done making those kinds of fantasies. Nobody is coming to help. Bernard is going to figure out his life on his own, he is going to take such good care of his kid, and he is not going to wait for some rich billionaire to swoop in and take care of him. He got this far didn't he? He'll get even farther.

He and his team leader lean against the help desk sipping coffee as they wait for the CEO to come in and sure enough, a black Rolls Royce pulls up to the driveway in the front. The minute the door opens, flashes from the paparazzi's cameras start going off. Out steps a bodyguard in a black suit with an umbrella opened. From below the umbrella he sees a nice pair of brown loafers step out. The CEO seems to be wearing a navy blue suit today. The paparazzi roars and the flashes increase.

"Oh wow," a man remarks a few feet away from him, "the circus is strong today, huh?" His friend laughs.

A woman wearing red heels steps out after the CEO, the paparazzi flashes decrease dramatically. More bodyguards exit after the woman and form a square around the CEO and his assistant/secretary. They shuffle towards the entrance where he sees the elderly doormen greet the executives with a smile. Whatever they say is lost to the sound of the city but the doormen laugh and push the doors open.

Young-joon's been making small talk throughout the entrance and Bernard tries to keep up but whatever the hell is going on at the entrance is way more interesting than anything his team leader is talking about. As they enter the guards spread out and dissolve the square. The woman comes into view first, red heels with a black slacks and a white button down. She's holding a long coat in one hand and a laptop bag slung over her shoulder. She's gorgeous and clearly the one in charge, going by the way she barks orders at the guards.

Young-joon says something and he turns around to respond, grabbing his coffee cup off the desk counter. His CEO's loafers tap across the lobby's marble floor, something about it is comforting. A lull in the room's conversations causes the CEO's voice to carry over.

"...Tam, make sure the quarterly reports are on my desk by at least 4 today and make sure to push back the sales meeting by 30 minutes to an hour, the board wants to talk — Oh Mr. Bardakcı! Thank you for stay—..."

Bernard's heart jackrabbits in his chest. He knows that voice but- it can't be. It's not possible; he chose Wayne Enterprises for a reason. He's not supposed to be here. He's supposed to be at his father's company. Unless... there was a merger? No, that seems like the kind of thing the news wouldn't've shut up about. He would've known.

When was the last time you had time to sit down and read the news, Bear? Darls says inside his head

She's right. With filing for custody of Mori and graduating from college and the job search, he hasn't had time for much else. It's entirely possible that he could've missed one of the biggest mergers of the decade.

Fuck, Fuck.

He wasn't supposed to be here. Bernard was supposed to be moving on. He was supposed to be building a life for himself away from the shadows of his childhood. He was supposed to be forgetting that Tim Drake ever existed.

He has to make sure though. Turning his body around, he prays that it's not the man he thinks it is. But sure enough, there stands Tim Drake, resplendent in a navy blue suit and a golden tie.

Golden ties for golden boys, he thinks absentmindedly.

The suit fits him perfectly, stretching across his shoulders and wrapping around his waist. Even the tie looks knotted perfectly. How long did it take him to learn, Bernard wonders. He could never get it right back in high school. Does his assistant Tam do it- no, no! This is why he didn't apply to Drake Industries. Bernard can't do anything around Tim and Tim is never going to care enough about him to stay.

Tim's head seems to be turning in his direction and Bernard whips his head back to make sure Tim doesn’t even catch a glimpse of him. His hand twitches violently enough that the coffee cup falls out of his hand and spills all over the floor. The cup rattles deafeningly on the floor. Bernard can't fucking breathe.

"-ernard? Bernard!" his team leader's voice cuts through the haze in his head. Young-joon looks concerned, "Are you okay?"

He blinks slowly, "...What?"

"I said, 'Are you okay?’ You look like you've seen a ghost?"

No, Bernard thinks, seeing Darls would be preferable to whatever level of hell I've found myself in.

"I'm—, I'm fine." he says rather unconvincingly. His eyes dart back to the spill, "What am I saying? There's a large puddle of coffee on the floor. I—, I should get some paper towels for that."

"Do you have any paper towels, Wonder-Duo?" he asks, trying desperately to ignore Tamara and Abhishek's concerned looks.

"I already called the custodial staff," Tamara says slowly, like she’s trying not to spook him, "but if it makes you feel any better," she pulls out a huge stack of paper towels, "go crazy, I guess."

Bernard takes a handful of paper towels and gets to work. The cleaning is meditative and with each swipe of the paper towel, the puddle gets smaller. Bernard pretends the puddle is his feelings for Tim. Swipe, forget about the 4pm milkshakes and his laughter when Darls snorted milk out of her nose. Swipe, don't think about the way he used to smell. Swipe, he left and never looked back; you don't look back either.

The tap, tap, tap of loafer on marble is getting closer to them for some reason. Why is it getting closer? Does it not have staff meetings, market research, and people to leave behind?

"What is going on here?" Tim asks.

"Nothing much, sir." Abhishek responds, "Newbie just spilled some coffee."

Abhishek, no!

"Oh is that all? And he took the initiative to start cleaning instead of waiting for the custodial staff. You made a good choice, Young-joon."

"Thank you, sir!" Young-joon says, "I was taking him on the tour when you came in. Most newbies love the show so I thought we'd stop here for a little bit."

Tim laughs. Bernard hates that his heart still skips a beat at the sound.

A pair of brown loafers and a wool-covered knee slowly appear in his vision. Why is Tim crouching in front of him? Why won't this man leave him alone?

"This looks like quite a lot of work, let me help."

You can help by leaving me the hell alone, he thinks uncharitably.

"I hope you found the facilities to your liking," Tim continues, like he hadn't heard Bernard's thoughts, "My name is Tim Drake-Wayne, CEO."

I know, he wants to say. I know you're Tim Drake. I know you like to skateboard and that you stared at Tony Hawk's photo for an hour every day in high school ‘cause didn't want to be one of those people who didn't recognize him. I know you struggled with your dad not really being there. I know you loved Mrs. Winters as much as you loved your mom. I know that you like history more than any other subject even though your best was always math.

Bernard says nothing instead.

Tim laughs awkwardly and Bernard knows he isn't helping the conversation along but whatever, he's allowed to be petty, right?

"I assure you, whatever you heard in the tabloids and the news, isn't true. I promise I won't bite…," Tim’s voice trails off as Bernard lifts his head.

"...Bernard?" Tim whispers, he looks like he's seen a ghost.

Bernard tries for a smile, he's pretty sure it comes out looking like a grimace.

"Sir," he says nodding curtly, hands still moving to sweep up the coffee puddle.

Tim's hand reaches out to touch his face, as if to make sure Bernard is really there. Bernard recoils as Tim's hand grazes his cheek. Tim's hand hangs in the air uselessly.

"Bernard?" Tim says again, as if to make sure his eyes aren't playing tricks on him.

"That's my name, Sir," he says through clenched teeth, "don't wear it out."

He can feel Young-joon and the Wonder-Duo's confused stare but he says nothing. What would he even say, really?

Hey, this is my old friend Tim Drake? Hey, I used to know him like the back of my hand? Hey, our best friend died and it feels like I'm the only one still grieving? Hey, in my junior year, five different gangs shot up my school and my best friend died in my arms and he left and I had to pick up the pieces by myself? Hey, I'm the idiot that's still in love with Tim Drake?

The clack of Tam's heels comes as a welcome distraction.

"Tim!" she says, grabbing his arm and pulling him away, "What the hell do you think you're doing? We have to go talk to the board. Build rapport with your employees later."

Tim stumbles to his feet, "Yes, but—, I—, This is—"

He sounds like he's glitching. Bastard. Is it really such a surprise to see Bernard in a well paying job? Even Tam is starting to look a little concerned now.

"Explain later," she commands, dragging Tim behind her. Bernard keeps his head down and continues wiping up the coffee puddle. Sneaking a glance upward shows him that Tim keeps turning back around to stare at him.

For a moment their eyes meet, brown against blue. 'Bernard?' he sees Tim mouth. Bastard, saying his name so many times. Doesn't he know what that does to Bernard? Why does Tim insist on breaking his heart again and again and again? Was once not enough?

He's tired of putting these walls up and just for a second, he lets them come down. Let Tim see the entirety of his brokenness. Tim already has his heart, he can have this too.

'Tim' he mouths back, smiling sadly. Tim looks stunned and the rage that had been simmering in his gut begins to boil over.

Do you see what I've become? Do you see how thoroughly Grieves ruined me? Is this not your doing too? Why did you leave? Have you ever visited Darla? Why was it so easy for you to not look back? Was I not your friend? Or was it just a time pass? Why wasn't I enough for you to stay?

He watches until the elevator doors close, separating him from Tim once again. His body sags like a marionette cut from its strings and his fingers clench uselessly around the coffee soaked paper towels. A hand lands on his shoulder and he flinches.

"Hey, hey," Young-joon soothes from where he's crouched right next to him. When did Young-joon crouch down? How much time has he missed? "It's just me, Bernard. Are you okay? What was that? Does our CEO know you?"

He exhales shakily. He needs to get out of here. He needs to sob hard enough he throws up. He needs the steady press of a knife on his back. He needs things he's not allowed to have anymore.

Bernard shoots up so fast the world spins around him. holding onto the desk for support, he tries to smile at his team leader. It stretches across his face misshapenly.

"I'm—, I'm sorry," he says stumbling over his words in a rush to get them out, "I have to—"

He has to what? Pretend to not see Darls out of the corner of his eye? Pretend like his hands don't have blood on them? Pretend like he isn't seeing bullet wounds every time he closes his eyes?

"—go to the bathroom," he finishes lamely. Gathering up all of the paper towels, he walks away dazedly, ignoring Young-joon's calls behind him. He shoves the towels in the nearest trashcan, letting his feet lead him to the nearest bathroom.

The bathroom is thankfully empty when he enters and he locks the door behind him. Sliding down the door, he exhales shakily. There's not enough air in this room; he can't breathe. The fluorescent lights hum above their coverings. The one on the left flickers. Who's bright idea was it to install school lights in a business office's bathroom?

The world outside the bathroom rushes on too loudly. Somebody is talking about their vacation. Someone is bemoaning their presentation today. His chest is getting tighter. His hands come up to tug on his hair. Why can't he breathe?

The exhales are coming quicker and quicker. Something comes tapping down the hallway. It's the gunmen, it has to be. A quick glance down tells him all he needs to know: he's covered in blood.

It's Lila's, he thinks dazedly, I had to carry her into the office. Or no, it's Olu's. I held him when he died. He said, he said, what did he say?

Why can't he remember? He hits his head with the heel of his palm.

Think he tells himself, we have to tell Olu's parents what he said. He said—, he said—.

His body sags.

Oh now he remembers. He said, "I don't wanna die Bernard."

A whimper tears itself out of his throat and he slaps a palm over his mouth. There's blood smeared across his face now, he must look like he walked out of a slasher film. He has to be quiet. if he's too loud, the gunmen will find them and then they'll all be dead.

Cry quietly, he tells himself, Darls doesn't need—

Darla! How could he forget about Darla with a hole in her gut? He needs to get to her. Lurching forward, he scrabbles across Mrs. Castillo's linoleum floor. He's smearing Olu's blood everywhere. Why won't Nikhil stop fucking crying so loudly? Goddamn freshmen and their hysterics. Where is Tim? Is he safe? He can't lose both friends today, please Lord, please.

BANG!

A violent flinch tears through his body. He sobs audibly this time, gagging on his spit. It's the gunmen, it has to be. He hasn't even held Darls' hand or counted Tim's moles for the last time. Where are the Darls? She shouldn't be alone. She doesn't like violence like this.

"Why didn't you save me, Bear?" a voice asks from behind him.

He freezes. Slowly he turns around and nearly yells in shock. Falling back on his butt, he stares up at his friend.

(He has to be quiet, he has to be quiet, he has to be quiet-)

Darls is standing behind him still in her crop top and cargo pants. Her once smooth midsection, bloodied and warped. The bullet wound still drips blood.

Plink, plink, plink.

Bernard hates the scent of iron.

"Why didn't you save me, Bear?" she asks, her voice echoing, "I thought we were friends."

There’s blood dripping down the side of her mouth. Now he remembers, the blood on him isn’t Olu’s or Lila’s — although there is that too — it’s almost overwhelmingly Darla’s. He’s covered in it. Elbows deep in it. It streaks up his arms like a macabre tattoo. He wore a white shirt to school today. The stains will never come out. He is Carrie at the end of prom, mortified and humiliated.

He crawls backwards until his back hits the wall, the impact knocking him out of the worst of that night. He's back in the bathroom. The lights hum loudly overhead. Darla hasn’t left yet.

She tilts her head, “Why didn’t you help me, Bear? I thought we were friends.”

“We are,” he rasps out, “we are friends.”

“Are we?” her eyes have no pupils. His Darls had eyes that shone in the sunlight. His Darls is dead. “Then why am I still bleeding? Why am I still hurting? Why is there a bullet in my stomach, Bear?!”

She’s shouting by the end and he flinches. His hands can’t seem to stop tugging at his hair. The blood must’ve smeared all over it. Talk about taking strawberry blond literally.

“I swear I did everything I could Darls,” he sobs out quietly, voice cracking, “I followed all of Mrs. Castillo’s instructions as best I could. I put pressure and tied the dressing as tight as I could.”

“You thought that was enough?” she snarls, hands coming down to grip the wound. It twists grotesquely; he gags, “You think any of that matters when I’m dead and you’re still alive?”

“Please, please. You know I wouldn’t leave you to die, Darls. Please, please, please believe me.”

“Liar, liar!” she screams, blood dripping out of her mouth onto her pink LOVE shirt. It darkens as each drop hits it. Soon it’ll be completely drenched and she’ll be drowning in it. Where did his smiling friend go? “I’m dead, Bear! I’m dead, dead, dead and it’s all your fault! Why didn’t you save me?! Why didn’t you save me?!”

He keens, body curling in on itself. One hand goes down to press on his throat; he’s making too much noise. Nikhil’s just a freshman. He shouldn’t have to die just because Bernard couldn’t shut up for once in his life.

“Please,” he whispers raggedly, “I tried, I tried. I swear I tried, Darls.”

“It hurts, Bear,” she sobs. Darla’s too young to be sounding so wrecked, “It hurts so much. Please help me.”

All of sudden, it’s too much. The taste of iron sits heavy on his tongue and Darla won’t stop sobbing. His fingers fumble for his phone and he presses one. It rings once, twice and finally on the third ring does a voice answer.

“Bear?” the other side says groggily.

“Ty please, I can't do this anymore,“ he sobs.

Tyrone suddenly sounds a lot more alert, “Bear what’s going on?”

“Darla won’t stop crying and she keeps on screaming that it’s my fault she died.” he wails, “I know I should’ve done more but please, can you tell her I tried? That I stayed with her until the end? She won’t listen to me, Ty. She won’t listen to me.”

There’s a muffled yell of ‘Babe!” on the other end. “Yeah,” Ty breathes out, “I’ll tell her.”

“You put me on speaker, okay?” Ty instructs, “And you gotta tell me if she’s nodding or if she’s gone or if she said anything, alright? I can’t see her.”

“Okay,” he whispers, pulling the phone away from his ear to press the speaker button.

“You tell me when to start, Bear,” he says, voice filling the bathroom. Darla looks up from where she’s sobbing.

“You can start now Ty,” he rasps out, holding the phone out.

“Hey Darla,” Ty says, “Bear told me you said a lotta mean things about him. Stuff like, ‘he’s the reason you died’ and that ‘he never cared’. Darla, you gotta believe me when I say Bear never stopped caring. He held your hand the whole way through. Told you stories about all the things you two were gonna do once you got out of that nurse’s office. He tried, Darla, honest. I’ve never seen him as focused as when you stopped breathing and Mrs. Castillo had him give you CPR. He couldn’t stop sobbing the whole time.”

“But I’m still dead,” she says.

“But I’m still dead,” he repeats.

Ty inhales sharply, “Yeah,” he says thickly, “you are. And I’ll never stop being sorry about that. But you can’t take that out on Bear. He’s just trying to live his life.”

Darls’ face twists up like a childs, “But it hurts,” she cries.

“But—, but it hurts,” he repeats, voice hitching.

Ty curses, “Oh, fuck. I can’t do this. Babe, can you—?”

“Yeah, of course.” 

“Hey, Darla. It’s me, Jimmy from the football team. I don’t know if you remember me but I remember you. After high school, me and Tyrone ended up getting married. Somewhere between shitty weed brownies and bad college parties, we fell in love. Isn’t that nice?”

Darls nods; he tells them as such.

“We visited you after the ceremony. I hope you felt that wherever you are these days. But the point I’m trying to make is that from all I’ve told you just now, you can probably figure out that Ty and I didn’t go pro like we planned. The shooting fucked up Ty’s knee and and my arm. After the hospital stays, playing football for a whole bunch of people just didn’t sound appealing anymore. We’re high school teachers now. Ty teaches math and I teach gym. When it rains or gets cold, my arm and Ty’s knee hurts like hell. But Darla, it doesn't hurt forever. It gets better, I promise.”

“Darla,” Jimmy says, voice unusually serious, “you’re right, you are dead and it does hurt. I’m sorry, I’ll never stop being sorry. I don’t know if it’ll ever go away for you; I’m not too much of an expert on the supernatural. Ty’s the smart one, after all. But I love you, Ty loves you, Bear loves you. I hope that when it hurts the most you can use that as a balm.”

“Auntie Bea loves you too!” Ty’s mom hollers from the background, “Aunt Betty, too!”

Ty laughs wetly and Jimmy snorts, “Does that sound okay?” they ask.

Darls smiles, her teeth stained red from all the blood that built up in her mouth. Bernard misses her with an ache he feels in his bones. Darls nods.

“She nodded,” he says quietly. He blinks once and she’s gone. Where did she go? Doesn’t she know that the gunmen are still at large? She needs to be somewhere safe. He can’t lose a friend today.

“Bear, Bear, you gotta breathe. Take a deep breath for me, c’mon,” Jimmy says.

“She’s gone, Jim. She’s gone again. Why does she keep leaving?” he says, crying. His body can’t stop trembling. How long has he been here? How much time has he missed?

“I miss the cult,” he whispers, “I never had things like this happen when I was with them.”

“Yeah,” Ty snaps, “‘Cause you were high off of like 50 different pain meds ‘cause you let them whip you.”

“Ty, not helping.”

“Move over, let me talk to him."

"Hey, sweetheart," Auntie Bea's voice crackles through his tiny speaker, "I know you're tired and I know you're hurting. I know you miss the cult but you gotta breathe for me, okay? You're gonna pass out otherwise."

"I can't, I can't," he gasps out. 

"Sure you can, you just gotta tell me five things you can see. Can you list those five things for me?"

Bernard desperately tries to get his breathing under control, "The sink is dirty."

"Good, good. Anything else?" 

"The tiles need to be re-grouted."

Aunt Betty barks out a laugh. Bernard's lips twitch upward.

"Keep going."

"My pants, my white shirt, my ID badge," he rattles off.

They talk him through the rest of the grounding techniques and by the time he feels like he's in control again, he's exhausted. His eyes hurt and his throat is dry. 

"Can you tell us why you spiraled so hard, Bear? This hasn't happened in a long time," Jimmy asks.

"I spoke to Tim again," he says simply. He pushes himself up onto his feet and walks over to the sink. Setting the phone down on the counter, he grips the sink with both hands and just breathes. The Bernard in the mirror looks like he just came out of a warzone, eyes haunted, hair messed up. 

"Oh fuck," Ty says, "Where did you even meet him?"

"At my new job at Wayne Ent."

"Why would you apply there?" Jimmy asks, stressed.

"I didn't know! It's not like I've had a lotta time in the past few years to check the news!"

"Well, whatever, what’s done is done." Ty says, ever practical, "Are you going to quit?"

"No!” he says vehemently.

“No,” he repeats quieter, “Wayne has the best benefits and Mori needs that. I’ll just suck it up and try to avoid him.”

“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Aunt Betty says.

“Ma!”

“Oh be quiet Jimmy. I’ve never heard of a more stupider thing. He’s your CEO, Bear, and he knows you work there. He’s obviously going to want ‘to catch up’ or whatever. There is no avoiding him. Can you handle that?”

What can he say? Aunt Betty is right. He can’t handle talking to Tim. Even seeing Tim felt like touching a live wire. He can’t deal with another episode. Mori doesn’t need him to be fucked up, Mori needs him to be the stable adult he promised the courts he was. 

“You can’t, sweetheart,” she says softly, “you can’t handle it.”

There’s some shuffling on the other end of the phone. 

“Bear,” Ty says gently, “I love you, man. You’re my brother. Jimmy loves you, Mama loves you, Aunt Betty loves you. But you gotta start thinking about therapy.”

“I know, I know,” he sighs, “I shouldn’t’ve dragged you into this. I’m—”

Ty cuts him off with an exasperated huff, “It’s not about that Bear. I’ll keep talking to your hallucinations for as long as you need me too. Even when we’re seventy, I’ll do it for you. I don’t care about that. I care about you and I want you to be happy and healthy. I don’t want you to keep seeing Darla. I don’t want you to keep trying to scrub the blood off your hands. 

“And I know you’ve been avoiding therapy ‘cause you don’t got the money and ‘cause talking about your problems is scary but it’s not just you anymore. You got Mori now. That custody claim is going through. You can’t just avoid things ‘cause they’re hard now. You work at Wayne now; that paycheck is more than enough to set a few dollars aside each month to save up for therapy. Hell, mental health probably comes with your medical benefits. Please, Bear. If you can’t get help for you, then do it for us, for Mori. Please stop making us watch you hurt.”

Bernard exhales shakily.

“I never wanna find you the way we did after the cult, Bear. I never wanna see you in the hospital bed like that again. Please don’t do that to us, please,” Ty whispers.

Unconsciously, his hand comes up to rub at the scar left behind from the sacrifice. It stretches along the length of his sternum, jagged and rough. On good days, he can pretend that it’s a scar from a heart surgery. He doesn’t have that many good days.

Bernard presses the heel of his palms into his eyes before using his hands to scrub at his face. He’s always so tired these days.

“Okay,” he says simply, “okay.”

“Okay?” Ty asks hopefully.

“Okay, you’re right. It’s not just me anymore. Mori deserves the best and I’m gonna give it to him. And I love Tim, I think I’ll always love Tim but he clearly doesn’t give a shit about me. So I gotta make my peace with it or I’ll go crazy.”

Ty whoops, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he chants.

“Bear, it’s still the middle of the workday,” Jimmy says, although he too, sounds happy. Auntie Bea and Betty are muttering about a feast, he thinks. “Don’t you have to get back to work?”

“Yeah, that’s if I’m not fired already,” he mutters.

“Hey!” Jimmy admonishes, “Optimism only, no pessimism.”

“Alright, alright. I gotta get back to work now. Thanks guys.”

“Of course, we’ll let you go now. Ma wants me to tell you that we’re having dinner at your place today.”

“Aunt Betty,” he whines, “I haven’t cleaned and you and Auntie Bea are just looking for a reason to spoil Mori.”

“Absolutely,” they say, unashamed, “he’s our only grandson. We have to spoil him.”

“Fine,” he sighs but he’s smiling. Fuck, he loves these people. God knows he wouldn’t have survived the past six years without them.

“Bye Bear,” they say before he hangs up, “Good luck on your first day!”

He cuts the phone and slides it back into his pocket. Turning on the tap, he splashes some cold water onto his face. Using his wet hands, he tries to rearrange his mussed up hair into something acceptable for an office job.

Time to face the music Darls, he tells her smiling face in the mirror. She gives him a thumbs up in return.

The walk back to his office feels like a death sentence. He’s fucked this up, he knows it. Freaking out over a small interaction with his CEO and then running away only to come back two hours later? It’s over, done for. Bernard takes comfort in the fact that at least the severance package will be nice.

Stepping into the office, immediately draws the eyes of his team members. Every step towards his team leader’s office feels nerve-wracking. Just before he enters, Esperanza, the team’s second in command, stops him.

“Whatever happened,” she says, “just explain it to him. Young-joon’s a reasonable man, he’s not gonna yell at you.”

Some of the tension leaves him and he nods. Knocking on the door, he enters. His team leader looks up and smiles.

“Ah, Bernard! Why don’t you take a seat for me?”

He crosses his wrists behind his back, “I’d rather stand, sir.”

His team leader looks confused, “‘Sir’? Just call me Young-joon like I told you.”

“Anyway, after you left, I took the liberty of going through your file to see if there was anything I missed. I hope that wasn’t overstepping my boundaries.”

“No s-, Young-joon. You’re fine.”

Young-joon sighs and pushes the file he was reading before Bernard came in forward. It’s his file. 

“I’m going to say some statements,” he says, “and I want you to confirm whether it’s true or not. If any of these questions make you uncomfortable, just tell me okay? I’ll drop it immediately.”

Bernard nods.

“You went to Louis E. Grieves Memorial High School.”

“Yes.”

“Based on the dates you put in your file, you were there for the shooting.”

“...Yes. Junior year.”

“You know our CEO.”

“Yes,” he breathes out.

“How?”

He used to fall asleep on my shoulder during lunch and I would listen to him breathe. He’s got moles all over his face. Darls once connected them with a sharpie. His step-mom was so hot, I thought I’d spontaneously combust every time she smiled. HIs dad didn’t really like me and flirting with his wife didn’t help my case. The Drake condo had a crocheted flower blanket on the sofa that his mom had made during her pregnancy. He liked to skateboard but couldn’t roller-blade to save his life. I have all this love and nowhere to put it.

“It’s a little private,” he says instead.

“I’m only asking because we work quite closely with him. We see him often and if that makes you uncomfortable, then I can have you transferred to another team.”

His shoulders sag, “We went to Grieves together for one year. Our mutual friend died. It’s a little hard to look at him.”

“Jesus Christ.” Young-joon says, “Okay well the offer is still on the table, Bernard. Do you want to be transferred?”

“No, I like your team. I’d like to stay,” he says, firmly.

“Are you sure?” Youn-joon asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yes.”

“Okay then,” and it’s like a switch had flipped. Gone is his serious team leader and in its place is the man he met this morning.

“If you plan on staying,” he says smiling, “then my primary recommendation is that you use the medical benefits the company gives you to find a therapist. If you need help, the infirmary here will walk you through it.” 

Oh thank god it comes included with his medical, Ty will be overjoyed to hear that. But first, he has to ask Young-joon why he’s doing all this. Bernard knows his experience with authority figures is a little skewed towards the shitty side of the spectrum but even so, people usually aren’t so kind in his experience.

“Why are you doing this? Why didn’t you fire me? Why are you helping me?”

Young-joon chuckles, “Do you want to be fired?”

“No! But still, why are you helping me?”

Young-joon sighs and stands up. Walking around his desk, he stops right in front of Bernard. Young-joon puts a hand on his shoulder.

“This city takes a lot out of its people, believe me I know. And you were so young, when Gotham took her piece of you. It wasn’t fair of you to go through that. Just like it wasn’t fair to me and my wife when we got kidnapped as children. These kinds of things don’t go away. I still get worked up over zip-ties. My wife still has nightmares. All you can do is learn to live with it.

“You seem like a good kid with a good head on your shoulders. I’d hate to see all that potential go to waste ‘cause you kept getting trapped in your mind. I had a lot of help to get to where and who I am today. Consider this, me paying it forward. One day, I hope you can pay it forward too.”

His eyes feel suspiciously wet. “Thank you,” he chokes out, “thank you.”

Young-joon laughs, “There’s no need for the waterworks, Bernard. Now, pack up your things and go home. You’re in no state to analyze data today but I expect you here at 9AM sharp tomorrow, alright?”

Bernard mock salutes, “Yes, sir.”

“Goodbye, Bernard.”

Right before he exits, he turns around and calls out his team leader’s name.

“Young-joon,” Young-joon looks up confused, “you can call me Bear, by the way.”

A wide grin stretches across his team leader’s face, “Okay then. Goodbye Bear, see you tomorrow.”

Walking out of the office, it feels like a burden has been lifted off his shoulders. Esperanza takes one look at him and snorts.

“You just got Young-joon-ed, huh?”

His jaw drops, “He does that often enough you guys have a name for it?”

The other team members laugh, “Welcome to Data Analysis Team 1, kiddo. We look forward to working with you from now on.”

Smiling, he gathers his things and leaves after a few goodbyes. Once outside the building, the smile drops. It’s an hour-and-a-half bus ride from Wayne Tower to his house. The bus stop sits right in front of the tower too. Some new initiative by the mayor to promote the city moving towards green energy. Hey look, even rich people take the bus! What a fucking joke.

The tower warps the sunlight around it and he stares up at the top floor. Is Tim watching? Can Tim see him from up there? Does he care or was it just the shock of seeing someone he once knew this morning? Has Tim ever thought about him, about them? Or were they just moments in his life? Perpendicular lines, intersecting once and then never again.

I miss you, he thinks staring at the top floor, I miss you more than anything but I’ll walk into oncoming traffic before I ever reach for you again.

The bus pulls up next to him and he snags a seat in the back. Dropping his head onto the seat in front of him, he stares out the window. Darls smiles back at him in the window reflection, perpetually sixteen. He’s twenty-two now.

Fuckin’ hell Darls, he thinks wearily, we’re really in it now.

Darls places her hand against the glass, he leans his shoulder onto it. If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel her warmth.

We’ll make it through, she says.

The bus rumbles forward and he lets the cracked streets of Gotham lull him to sleep. He’ll make it through.

A/N: chami! i hope you like it!!! i've never gifted a fic before, i don't really know how this works. and to everyone who read it, i hope you liked it too! please leave your thoughts in the reblogs or replies!!! i miss the days when td:r was coming out and we were all collectively freaking out. anyway when i said loosely based, i really did mean loosely. props to you guys if you can figure out the direct references to the drama. but this is a one-shot. i'm not gonna be writing anything else for this 'verse? au? (god i'm always so worried im using em dashes wrong)

if you have questions or you're confused by something i wrote, feel free to ask questions or send an ask or message. oh, and i know some people like know the exact wordcount. so, it's exactly 6,785 words long. nice number right?

also, please note that if you want to make art or a podfic or hell, even fanfiction of this, feel free to do so! i hope that's not too presumptuous or anything. idk i see fanfic writers make this disclaimer all the time, so i thought i'd do it to.

thank you for reading!

#god i'm exhausted #writing the latter end of a fic always feels like finishing a marathon #no more fics for like the next 6 months (<- me when i lie) #anyway big fan of the bear hallucinates darla club! #currently there's only one member (me) but you can change that #also favorite trope ever is when you see a regular dude and you're like 'what a nice normal dude' and then you talk to him for like #5 minutes and you're like '/oh./ this dude has something wrong with him' #also the tyrone/jimmy pairing? do you see my vision? #also big fan of the the shooting was worse than what you see in rr club! #it's just there was a city-wide gang war and all the gangs came to grieves to kill darla and you're telling me only she died??? #i think way more people died. i think too many people died actually. i think the school had to do remote learning for all of tyrone's sr yr #cause the renovations were too much. #also just to clarify #the is hallucination!darla and there is the darls he sees all the time. no they are not the same to him. yes he is mentally ill. #also yes!! superheroes do exist in this world!!! i just didn't mention them. #also if we're being a little self-critical for a moment #(don't look at this part) i feel like i could've ended this at a way earlier point in the story but i had such a strong vision of what the #fic was supposed to be like that i just wrote everything #anyway lets start tagging #bernard dowd #tim drake #timbern #timber #dc #red robin tyrone #red robin jimmy

[deelavis]

“You s-said,” Near gasps, “that you— that you take g-good care of— of your things.” “Aw,” Mello coos, condescending as can be. “You wanna get taken care of, Near?”

-I Want To Hold You (Hostage) by @neallo / @blondiest

This fanfiction is absolutely stunning. I first fell in love with this ship back when I was in middle school (a long time ago I'm 28 lol) and recently fell back into it when a friend had a Death Note themed costume birthday party. I was so happy to find what a beautiful fandom still existed and all of the talented people making new content.

The first piece I read by Neallo was There's Nothing I Hate More Then What I Can't Have and I was instantly enthralled. I mean feet kicking under the covers, giggling like a school girl, to the point where my partner started asking me after every giggle, "What did Mello do now?" Their fanfiction truly makes me feel the same joy I felt when I first got into fandom. When I was reading I Want To Hold You (Hostage) I knew I had to make art of it. Their work not only nails the character's dynamic and voices, it is also so sexy and well paced. At this point I could write an embarrassingly long think piece/love letter on their body of work so I'll stop while I'm ahead. Please if you haven't read it, add it to your list.

Full (nsfw) art below the cut

I truly do not know if this is too much with tumblr's new guidelines on art so if I have to take down the full image you can find it at this dropbox link where I'll be posting the uncropped versions of all explicit fanart (frankly because I hate using twitter)

#my art #meronia #near #mello #mellonear #n/s/f/w #i want to hold you (hostage) #nate rivers #mihael keehl #death note brain rot

[writingforatwistedworld]

Okay okay request tiem!! So like, first of all, hope you're doing well fjkebd-- second of all, how would vil, jamil and idia react to a mc in the self aware au (already in their universe) drawing and or painting them, telling the constant compliment over how pretty or nice they are to draw, doodle them in their notebooks when taking notes and so on.

Idk it's like a thing I do with my friends, so I wanna know what they'd do n all, fbnebd thank u!! <3<3<3<3<3

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsebility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, murder, stalking, obsession, unhealthy relationship, manipulation, isolation

Jamil Viper/Vil Schoenheit/Idia Shroud-Player draws and constantly tells them compliments

Ok, so we are throwing away our independance today (not something I would recommend but you do you)

Jamil is used to stand in the shadow of Kalim, heck, even his own parents thought that the future sultan was more important than their son

When you were suddenly standing in front of him he was already shoked enough, almost dropping the tray filled with food for his employer

Let us just say that Scarabia is in constant danger of going up in flames after that

Oh why? Well he just, more or less, quit without handing in the piece of paper that usually says “Mhm sorry bro but I’m leaving. The pay was never good tbh”

Yes, he is still employed but the person he is serving in truth is you, leaving Kalim alone with the stove

And since most of the people reading this probably don’t have a butler we are of course impressed by his skills

No wonder Al-Asim can’t do stuff on his own, Jamil is spoiling you into dependance!

So what do you do when you are impressed? You compliment whoever had that affect on you

That is already bad enough in itself but now you are also drawing him? Doodeling him into your notebooks? (He defenitely checks them)

Did you want him to be your 24/7 caretaker who takes your freedom away or what?

Somehow it is possible that those actions are making him even more focused on taking care of you

Has defenitely taken one of the paintings and hid it just for him to see

But please lay the mop down. He is here to take care of the dorm and you just need to live a comfortable life

What do you mean he does everything? Just rely on him and don’t meet with others, they just get your clothes dirty and make scratches in the freshly waxed floor boards

Also, isn’t he here? Why would you need anyone else? Uh… sorry there is something in his eyes. Could you take a look?

Vil is pretty used to compliments and also has defenitley gotten fanart before

But if it’s you? The hecking Mona Lisa in his eyes

So how did he get close enough to you to recieve such things?

Two words, one meaning: overall care

Like this man is polishing you like his life depends on it

It’s already bad enough that you are living in that dirty place but you can’t even afford simple self care! (We ignore for now that his defenition of “simple” is worth the rent of an ordinary person)

But the man wants- no, is determined to scrub the dust of the ruin away and uncover the shining diamond under all that filth

And since we all are bound by social beauty standarts (and don’t want skin deseases connected to dirt) we are (most likely) very thankful for his hard work

So one day he came into your room, a bottle of hand lotion in his perfectly manicured clutches, and ran straight into your mirror

Oh you are curious why? Well you just threw a compliment and “thanks” at his head

But it’s probably you more freaked out because whilst he did get a scratch on his face he didn’t even care

Once you start do NOT stop!

If you do he will think that you have found someone else whom you consider better company

And remember that huge green house they have? There is probably something in there capable to make you… uh… “stay close to him”

Also, those third years you have asked for the way to your next classroom have been found “with their red paint outside their bodies” and their hearts missing, suspicious arrows sticking out of them

But what did you expect? The Fairest Queen was also pretty possessive of her status as the “most beautiful” and what is there to stop him in following her footsteps? Just maybe not with beauty…

So either you wanted to roast marmellows in a very extreme way or you wanted to burn the whole building down

But here he is, probably already having reached the melting point of stone and still staring at you

Are you seriously suprised? This is Idia we are talking about

You are a God to Idia, a flawed one but still higher than even Hades… that guy is literally death

And he also thinks that he is very unattractive so you might as well tell Lilia to leave his iron sticks away unless he wants to rshape them

How are you still alive standing in thnis heat??!

It is already hard enough to just get in contact with him but somehow you did

Idia is not used to get paintings drawn of him and only Ortho would be able to convince him to get a picture done of him

But now here you are, telling him that you admire his skills with electronics

I hope you brought your marmellows because I forgot mine at home

When he was just creepely looking at you from time to time then say goodbye to privacy after this

You see, strays also come back to you if you fed them once and Idia is just as starved for attention as a stray is for food

But what exactly is he supposed to do? Well…

You remember that phone Crowley gave us over the winter holidays? He never took that one back

Even though Idia knows he shouldn’t do this and feels bad he just can’t stop

Stop looking at you, stop watchig you, stop craving the warmth you gave him on that fatefull day

#yandere twst x reader #twst x reader #twst #yandere twst #twst jamil #twst azul #twst vil #twisted wonderland vil #twisted wonderland azul #twisted wonderland jamil #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #self aware au #yandere jamil x reader #jamil x reader #yandere jamil #yandere azul x reader #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul #yandere vil schoenheit #yandere vil x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #yandere vil #tw: yandere #tw: obsession #tw: manipulation #tw: murder #tw: isolation

[the-s1lly-corner]

I wanna try something different this time around.

I’ve started to grow an interest to Eyeless Jack, I mean I haven’t read the story but the character has intrigued me.

What’s some fluffy headcanons you can think of for him with a partner in general?

General hcs for Eyeless Jack x Reader !

ehehehehe welcome to the ej fan club!! evil laughs >:) gotta admit my take on ej is only loosely based around the original story (guy waking up to find one of his kidneys missing is the TLDR version) but a lot of my hcs are based around a fic (?) reimagine (?) of ej that i remember seeing floating around yeeeeears ago back in middle school and im unsure how many people follow the "jack used to be a human but got dragged into a cult/human sacrifice unwillingly" idea since i admittedly dont interact much with the fandom outside of writing these lil hcs and making fanart TToTT

after everything that happened to him jack ran off to the woods to be away from prying human eyes, and as far as he knew he was viewed as (albeit unwilling and you could argue it was in self defense) murderer.... kind of puts a stop into your plans of finishing school and going into your dream career.. oh and also the teeny tiny detail that you now rely on human flesh as sustenance with no hope for being able to physically accept alternatives and as more time goes on you start to resemble something.. not human... theres that, too

if you want to see him during the day you're likely going to have to visit him in the woods, but fear not hes not homeless, hes found refuge in an old cabin; slowly hes been patching it up

dont expect him to make you do any work on the cabin, he views it solely as his responsibility and he'll likely deny any actual work helping rebuild it... though i dont think he would be against any tools and decoration (ex. stuff for a generator so he can have power, means to wash his clothes, basic supplies that arent food ectect)

i think overtime he would even get a little mini fridge for you so you can store snacks and drinks at his place, since he doesnt. have food

sometimes visits you at your place, but he only does this during the night so he doesnt get caught wandering the streets by other people... usually enters through the backdoor, to avoid anyone seeming coming from the front

very quiet and reserved, not very high energy... so most nights hanging out with him are calm... usually him asking you how you've been doing... you /could/ ask him the same, but he can only talk about patrolling his area in the woods for hikers straying too close so many times, and he doesnt want to bore you

thats actually another thing, he has traps set up around; mix of a means for hunting without having to go out and pick someone, and to make sure no one gets too close to the cabin

so i think, in the beginning he would ban you from coming to him without him guiding you, at least not until youve had ample time to get used to the traps and how to look for them and remember the general locations of them

teaches you how to forage, him being alone for so long has forced him to pick up new hobbies to keep him from going insane, so you now know how to do that sort of thing as well as identifying plants and fungi... fun!

on the very rare occasion you can convince jack to walk around town with you at night when everyone else is asleep.... its nice, i think.. kind of gives him a chance to just sink back into what his old life used to be and feel like hes normal again; though he tends to be quieter than usual on these walks

i dont think hes particularly possessive, dont get me wrong he cares about you and he does have the passing thought of you just up and leaving him one day (and he doesnt blame you, he holds a lot of self loathing for himself nowadays) but hes not going to be breathing down your neck and watching your every movement... he has enough trust in you not to get hurt or stuck in any situation

blunt, he doesnt beat around the bush and sometimes he doesnt sugarcoat things when the blow needs to be softened... mix of jack just being a little insensitive to others but also because hes gotten so used to thinking so logically and straight forward and numbing his own emotions over... who knows how long, probably even before he got all messed up..

can be a little sarcastic at times, so he might come off as an asshole every now and then, especially when you mix in the bluntness

i dont think he would actively try to be mean to others though, he'd try to understand and fix something if his habits upset you because he doesnt want to lose you

very cold, physically, so be sure to bring blankets and stuff when you want to cuddle into him

very careful with you, he has claws and teeth... and sometimes shedding blood around him can be really dangerous (he feeds on human material, he tends to push off eating for as long as he can since the fact hes eating people meat messes with him.. argument between survival of himself and survival of others; but due to his curse he can go into 'frenzies' and momentarily lose himself to his hunger. think how in finding nemo the sharks went nuts when dory cut her fin on accident, its like that but he doesnt go nuts all the time) so hes very very gentle even when he has a strong hold on himself

speaking of his forced diet, he doesnt eat often.. only really needing to do so every now and then, but i like to think he would still sit at the table with you to keep you company while you ate dinner

though he wouldnt want you to do the same when he DOES eat, might prefer you not come at all on those days actually

him and reader remind me of the "its rotten work"/"not to me, not if its you" audio

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta imagine #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack x you #eyeless jack headcanon #eyeless jack imagine

[spopsalt]

Okay… So, update on that C//A scratching thing I just talked about. I just wanted to send that so we can all hate on it together because, i didn’t wanna be the only person who had to endure that. I thought that was the extent of it. But… I did a little investigating, and I’m noticing a pattern in some of this person’s art. I just saw… things. Luckily nothing full frontal, but I stopped after I had seen enough, so… what I’m afraid of seeing might actually be on that page. Listen. I’m not inviting anyone to harass this person. But I… personally I am gonna report them. Because while I personally am okay with nsfw art of characters, I’d rather it not be of characters I’m pretty sure are… well, kids. Nothing wrong with the human body, but I think this person is getting a bit weird with some of the things they drew. I don’t care if it was requested or not, you can just say no.

So basically, I’m just letting you, and anyone else who sees that ask with the scratching C//A fanart, only look at the link if you are prepared mentally. It’s nothing explicit, but it is a warning. And if you get a little curious about that person’s art, I’m warning you now, there are some… suggestive images of underage girls. I know we all love to shit on people drawing nsfw C//A, but I am warning everyone here that I think this is a pattern with this person.

And, listen, you have every right not to post the ask I sent with the link to the image. But if you do, please also post this warning along with it. I’m not saying harass this person. Idk, maybe they’re a teenager and just exploring themselves? But I am urging everyone here to be careful, because their art disturbed me personally.

Ugh, I do not get why c//a stans lovvveee sexualizing MINORS, especially the princess prom dance, the way people sexualize that makes me SO uncomfortable

#spop criticism #spop discourse #spop crit #anti catra #anti c//a #anti catradora #anti spop #antic//a #spop critical #spop salt

[bistaxx]

An annoyance I specifically have about qsmp tntduo fics is that they don’t even (usually) try to be like the qsmp versions of the characters. They have them act like dsmp, rivals that have a weird homoerotic tension. While in the qsmp, we’ve had Quackity being obsessed with Wilbur and Tallulah < and being convinced that Wilbur was the dad and tallulah was his kid. This is just the early stuff but it’s annoying how they pretend it’s qsmp when it’s clearly not.

(TNT MUTUALS SKIP THIS POST- SORRY ILY I PROMMY SRY! THIS ENDED UP TURNING INTO A RANT LMAO)

(Also none of this is my griping over what people are allowed to write or draw lol- i'm just bitching for my own sake LOL)

Yeah that's definitely a major part of my annoyance too, not helped by the fact that I also dislike /r c!tnt LOL- And I was actually interested in what q!Tnt as dynamic could've been but canon doesn't offer a whole lot to work with these days and fanon like you said either just makes them a poor man's rehash of c!tnt despite their q! counterparts being VERY different form those men or, like a mutual of mine brought up in their post, reduce q!Quack into this poor sad little wet cloth of a man that ONLY qWilbur could ever understand or fix because he's the ONLY man who actually cares about q!Quackity... just ignore Roier, and Etoiles, and Forever, and Baghera, and Cellbit, and Bagi, and- You get the point lol.

I think my last straw personally was seeing everything that Quack goes through be made to be about Wil- getting Tilin? Him and Wilbur can raise them together despite us knowing Luzu was the other parent! He loses his child? Dw he can raise Tallulah with Wilbur! Quackity's been kidnapped and replaced with Elq? Oh no! Onyl Wilbur will ever care or notice :( Just ignore that Jaiden witnessed this happen- Quackity is back, but his memories are gone and his mind severely messed with? Oh Wilbur will fix him- he'll teach him how to read and write and take care of him and they can be a family alongside Phil Tallulah and Chay! Quackity's been kidnapped again? Oh no only Wilbur will care Part 2 even though everyone quickly noticed Elq isn't Q! Quackity (and Phil) have weird tickets? This must be related to WILBUR somehow?! Quackity's DEAD?!? OH NO- WILBUR WILL BE SO SAD AND DEVASTATED! Quackity's back but extremely traumatized and broken after everything he's been though? He needs Wilbur to hug him and heal him :((((((((((((((-

And I wanna take a brief aside to complain about how people treat them and the eggs too- See I really like Quack and Pepito's dynamic, so I give into temptation and look on Twitter to find fanart of them... only to see them paired with Wilbur and Tallulah... with Quackity's OTHER CHILD Richas nowhere in sight! Because he just... doesn't matter I guess even though the two still care about each other a lot and still call each other father and son! Also the god damned disservice this stuff does for Talsy's character too- yeah she'd so be running over to hug Wil with her current growing resentment of him- but to know that'd require people to acknowledge her as more then just Wilbur's cute little daughter who exists only as an extension of him- SOMETHING SHE'S COMPLAINED ABOUT TO PHIL. But back to Quack...

Would you believe me if I told you people also did this shit during KARMALAND too- A SERIES THAT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE WILBUR PLAYING IN IT! That during the early days people were CONVINCED that k!Quackity was secretly an amnesiac c!Quackity and he was only drawn to k!Luzu because he reminds him c!Wilbur... yes people really fucking said that and god it made me so mad I won't lie 😭 People can headcanon whatever they want that's fine even if I don't gel with, the thing is it was just everywhere during the early Karmaland V days and people were doing to most to push it 'canon' cuz God forbid Q exist outside of Wil or c!tntduo in this Spanish server.

Listen- I never wanna be That Guy who DEMANDS people stop doing this or that- people can do whatever they want- I get missing a ship, I still miss Karmaland Luckity- I just wished people cared about q!Quack for q!Quack and not just tntduo. q!Quackity is a very flawed screw-up of a man with a big heart whose been through Hell and even though he wants to give up still chooses to keep on going for the sake of his new child- not to mention his mysterious connection to Elq and being forced to be a pawn to Oscurucho! He has a lot going for him outside of his celebrity crush! He has a lot of really good and complex bonds with other characters- he has a strong friendship with Etoiles, Forever tried to look out for him after Quackity lost his memories and Quackity in turn was visibly distressed when Forever went missing, HIS WHOLE THING WITH ROIER- LIKE- Quackity being a major part of the betrayal at the start of the server and Roier in turn ruining Quackity's reputation on the server in revenge but Quackity still tries to help Cellbit fix things with Roier during Festa Junina, Quackity admires the strength of Spiderbit's love to the point that it makes it reconsider his own view of what love is after his fake wedding with Wilbur's cardboard cutout, Roier still tried to help Quackity regain his memories when Quackity found Tilin's old diary, Roier is listed as one of the most important people to Quackity, during his hell coma in the maze portion there are photos of him and Roier everywhere, they even share custody of a child now- but no, Wilbur is the only one who gets or cares about Quackity, okay sure.

Anyway rant over- sorry anon I pretty much just used your ask as an excuse to vent about all my grievances I'm sorry 😭 People can send more anons about this if they want but I prolly won't answer- I don't like to bitch too much on this blog- this is the exception to that LOL I don't hate qWilbur either- I just don't care for q!tnt.

#tntduo neg #negative #ship hate #anon #ask #vent

[theleatherdragon]

Sorry for the ramblin

Welp, I guess it's time for another dumb journal from me. I've been really dealing with a lot of things and changes these last couple years and I think I'm finally starting to realize my life is shifting.

It's hard to like, I dunno, but when you've been online for 20 years it's kind of wild. For me, I guess it felt like I had to keep doing the same things and the same ideas and be the same person, but that's impossible.

My brain cannot words right now lmao

Anyhoot, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really need to just change and not be scared to change. The things I did 10 years ago, I don't have to keep forcing myself to do them just to appease others. I've let my art suffer so much trying to do what I think people want me to do between raffles and fanart and all sorts of things, challenges, etc.

This past month has been the worst month of my entire life, I literally thought I was gonna die a couple times because of how my body reacted to medicines and stuff. Still don't know what's wrong with me, thyroid stuff, but I think it really kick started my mind into looking back at things.

Like, why did I miss out on so many things because I tried to do projects I had no time for? Then, when I didn't do them in the time I wanted, I guilt tripped myself over and over and put on even more new projects in hopes that I'd do those instead.

I am rambling lmao I don't even care though. I guess I just want to get it all out there, to whoever, why you're reading this who knows. Life is funny that way, ain't it?

But yeah, I just need to start actually letting go of things and move on to new things. I'm tired of trying to pretend I'm into the Skylanders fandom this much. Like, I love the charaters and I love the memories, but this current state of the fandom is so toxic and it really shows. I don't want to be so involved anymore. I'm tired of running my AskSkylandersCynder blog, if you can even call it running anymore. I made that thing 10 years ago and the last 4 years I just don't have any interest, even though I force myself to. It really was the best thing I did at that time but I just need to let it be.

All those challenges and Inktobers and other things, I tried to force myself to do those for other people, not for myself. I just need to stop doing this man, I miss just drawing just because. I guess from the constant moving around in life and being around terrible people irl made me want to hold on to the ideas that I'm helping others online with my art when it probably didn't even do anything.

I'm just tired. And I'm done being tired, I dunno what this second wind is that I got this month but I'm not gonna lose it this time.

I'm still into all my fandoms and stuff of course, and I'm still going to make art for other people. Don't even get my started on Art Fight lmao you better believe I'm aiming for 100 pictures this year. But I'm done forcing myself to feel like I HAVE to do these things. No more to do lists, no more holding onto old projects, no more trying to keep up with things that should have just ended by now.

I just wanna live my life man, I just wanna draw. I never cared about the numbers, hell I've had pageviews and stats adblocked for years now, I really don't care about those. What I care about is making people happy by drawing their characters and drawing their favorite characters. I don't want to be famous, I don't wanna be tied down, I just wanna draw. And I wanna see your art too. I love all the characters and concepts and just ugh I love it, I don't know why.

I wanna be what I wanna be.

I'm definitely done rambling now. Usually I feel bad about it but I just don't care anymore. I'm gonna go work on art now lmao I hope you guys are all doing awesome, and maybe you can figure out life too. Edit: I had some more thinking after posting this while cleaning the house. I also realized that this mindset I put on myself is what made me get so distant from people too. I got too overwhelmed at trying to keep up with so many things that it made me essentially start time travelling where I didn't even consider things existed until they were in front of my face. I've lost touch with so many people out of shame between not remembering and going "tomorrow, for sure." I want to change that too. I shouldn't have let a few bad people ruin everything for me. I got scared of commenting on art because of a few people that didn't deserve my time, lashing out at me for not saying what they wanted to hear. I also got scared of just not fitting in. I have so many compliments and things I wanted to tell people for years but I was just too scared to and I hate that. I'm going to start being more social again with that. I feel like that made me look stuck up or something, I dunno. I'm just so afraid of hurting people about anything when in reality I bet it doesn't even bother them at all. Like how messed up did I have to become that me giving someone a compliment terrifies me into thinking I might ruin their day lmao help

#text

[himbos-hotline]

Wdym treating it like tik tok /gen

very simply. Reblogs are what keep this website alive, there are no rules to reblogging things. You can reblog things from mutuals, not mutals, you can talk in the tags. whatever you wanna do, as long as you reblog. that completely fine, thats what tumblr was made for. Whereas social medias [and I refer to tumblr as social media super loosely here] nowadays rely on likes as engagement. Liking things on tumblr is used for posts such as vents or stuff like that. Not for things that people make. I'm not calling it content, we arent getting paid for what we make we are not content creators. we are artists. No matter what thing we use to make our art- if youre a writer, painter, digital artist, photographer, whatever!

People make things for themselves, they share them for other people. You don't make an entire four course meal just for yourself, you dont spend hours making a cake just to leave it sitting on your kitchen table. Likes are not visible on tumblr and if yours are, nobody is going to go into your blog and click on your likes. nobody is doing that, like ever. So you like a bit of fanart and it stays in your likes, unseen forever. Where as with a reblog, you are showing that fanart to other people for them to then show other people. your reblogs are visible because they're visible on your dash.

People who create things, artists on tumblr thrive on reblogs for other people to see their things. Using the analogy of the cake again.

Likes are you putting the cake behind a glass wall and going "thats a nice cake."

Reblogs are you cutting the cake up and sharing it with other people, telling them the recipie.

People thinking that likes do anything other than just, staring at the artist. Reblogs are showing other people going "look at how cool this person is! this is where you can find more cool things!". Tumblr is not tiktok its made for people to reblog things.

your blog is your house, why wouldnt you want to decorate it with things you love? this is not some celebs house with crisp white walls. Have fun! reblog stuff!

Now dear anon, Im gonna adress you and other people reading this directly. Say you spend hours making something that you really love, your bleary eyed, youre tired and hungry and so fucking proud of what you made. So you go and so super excitedly show it to your friends. youre beaming and all wide eyed with joy, you have the joy of creation pulsing through your veins...and they just. stare. they all look at you. Maybe, if youre lucky, one of them will raise a disconnected, bothered lackluster thumbs up. How does that make you feel? Do you feel the joy drain out of your body? do you feel that lack of dopimine in your brain? do you want to pick up your pen again? do you want to put your time and effort into something that you feel like nobody cares about it?

Now, different situation. You spend hours making something that youre proud of, you go running to your friends going "look! look what I did!" and they all irrupt into this joyous laugh, they praise you, people freak out at you, you get affection. you get a reward. You walk into the kitchen the next day and the stuff you made is posted on the fridge along with sticky notes.

Thats how it feels to be a creative nowadays on tumblr. You spend hours working on a fic or a request or gifs or video edits or what have you. And if youre lucky you will get like, 3 reblogs and one of those are you re-reblogging. For example, here are the likes/reblog ratios from my most recent fics

My dead girl adam Cole Au- 4k words for one chapter

An adam sqaured request- 2k words

A hangkenny fic- 4k words

See anything similar? theres more likes than reblogs. People will stop making things if people dont stop treating likes the way they work on tiktok. Your likes are blocking up artists and then people who dont make things, get pissed when people stop.

#tumblr #reblog things

[httpskarmaco-main]

CW/TW: Mentions of murder, incest, abuse, assault (physically and sexually) and stalking.

I genuinely hate how badly the DR fandom normalizes obviously toxic/harmful ships. "Oh stop trying to make a ship war-" It's not a ship war. You guys are out here literally shipping family members together and see no problem with it? Kanon and Kuwata, really? Korekiyo and his obviously abusive sister? I've seen some of y'all ship fucking Makoto and Komaru and post it like nothing is wrong with what you just created - it is so mind numbing how stupid some of you DR fans are.

Not to mention Murder x Victim. It's so stupid how much Ibuki/Mikan, Leon/Sayaka, are shipped or Chihiro/Mondo are. "Oh but my ship is in a non-despair setting-" I literally do no care. Your AU isn't canon, none of your guys AU's are - but you know what is canon? The actual universe where that person did kill the other. You AU's don't change anything about what's canon. I will say, with some ships like Nagito/Chiaki and Kaede/Rantaro are acceptable - 1, Chiaki didn't even know what she did kill Nagito and had no intent to ever kill Nagito and same with Kaede; she didn't even kill Rantaro, she was framed.

An honorable mention for this part is Ishimaru/Celestia. Holy fuck that ship pisses me off so much. Celestia didn't kill Ishimaru, I'll give you that, but that's the only good thing - she still planned out how to kill him but just got Hifumi to do so but you wanna know how she got Hifumi on board to do so? Lying about Ishimaru blackmailing her and assaulting her both physically and sexually. Not even that, she basically framed Ishimaru too for stealing Alter Ego.

You can see any of these Murder x Victim as close friends but for the love of god, do not ship them - it's toxic.

Lastly, a toxic ship that pisses me off so much; Toko/Byakuya. How the hell is this ship so popular and normalized? It's not only Stalker x Stalked but also Abuser x Abused. Byakuya literally gets physically sick from Toko just fantasizing about him and he can be miles away. Plus not to mention all the comments she makes about Byakuya to his face which he has shown great discomfort in and has told her to stop multiple times, but does she? No. "Oh but Toko has a mental disorder-" boo fucking hoo. You can't use a mental disorder as an excuse epically since it's literally only Toko doing this - Syo just wants to kill Byakuya and Syo doesn't make comments towards Byakuya like Toko does. And Toko has been told multiple times by Byakuya that he doesn't like it. Also may be wonder "oh, how is it Abuser x Abused? Toko doesn't hurt Togami physically." Yeah, PHYSICALLY. But she does abuse him emotionally - Byakuya would literally lock himself in a bathroom just to get away from her.

I'm just glad that I don't see Junko or Tsumugi ships normalized. They both literally made games to have people kill each other and Junko literally took over the fucking world.

Sorry, I just needed to rant because I've been seeing too many fanarts of toxic ships and it's pissing me off. Also hate me for this, I really don't care - it's the truth.

#httpskarmaco speaks #ranting #danganronpa #danganronpa ships #this is not a shipping war. #“oh you don't like Chimondo cause it gets in the way of Ishimondo.” #BITCH WHAT? #NO IT'S BECAUSE MONDO LITERALLY KILLED CHIHIRO. #DR fans piss me off so much #i've wanted to leave so many times cause of y'all

[pluto-supremacy]

Well firstly hello, i really like your writing it's amazing i have a request so it goes like this

Any Marauders or poly (whatever you are comfortable with) x ftm reader idk maybe coming out to them the fluff kinda hurt/comfort i really wanna see how tou would write them anything is okay with me thanks

Poly Marauders Fic: Our Tweety

➼ First thank you! I wasn't sure which marauders you wanted included, so I went with all four of them! Tbh now I feel like I need to make headcanons for each of the marauders, so if you guys want that lmk! I also went more of a fluff route than hurt/comfort, I hope that's okay!

➼ All the marauders are dating each other already but not the reader

➼ Just as a general aside: there is no one right way to dress, act, or feel as a trans person. In this fic the reader is described as a bit more as a 'stereotypical' trans person, just to try and make it easier to relate to. By no means do you need to have short hair, dress masculine, dislike certain parts of your body, etc., to be trans. All that matters is how you personally identify, how you feel in your own skin.

➼ No beta we die like Regulus

➼ Warnings: None! This turned out a lot longer than I first anticipated though-

Fanart is not mine! Credit goes to @upthehillart, go show her some love!

It was Saturday, a day that should have been restful. Instead James was banging pots and pans he got from Merlin-knows-where bright and early in the boy's dormitory. "Up and at-em! Quidditch practice! Wake up!" he rang out, a chorus of groans answering back as well as a pillow being chucked in his general direction. It landed on the floor in front of James, not doing any damage. Unfortunately. "Are you trying to wake the dead?" Remus groaned, pulling the covers up over his and Sirius' head. They had slept together last night while Peter had crawled into James' bed. Really what they needed to do was push their beds all together so that they wouldn't be crammed between two beds. Plus Peter squirmed a lot in his sleep so he'd stop falling off the bed in the middle of the night. Even if it was funny when that happened.

You were spared from the chaos in the boy's dormitory, the girl's dormitory was still nice and quiet. Everyone still asleep bar from you. Recently you had been reflecting a myriad of things. One being the fact that you liked four different guys at once. Four guys that were all dating each other. Well, four people technically, Sirius was genderfluid, though last time you asked he was currently going by he/they. Which was another thing. Sirius came out a few months ago and since then you had been thinking. He described it as never feeling always like a guy, sometimes he felt more feminine. Othertimes he felt, as he described it, 'in between', or that he didn't care, or neither. You didn't really think that was possible before.

Of course everyone in Gryffindor Tower was supportive. Or everyone for the most part, including you. Lily had made Sirius little bracelets with pronouns he could wear if he wanted, his boyfriends were of course happy that Sirius was comfortable enough to reveal that to them. All of that helped you come to the realization that you never really felt like a girl. You didn't like how your hair looked when it got super long, you wore baggier clothes to try and hide your chest, swapped out the usual uniform skirt for trousers, and showers? Those were hard. You hated looking down at your body most of the time and tried to get out of there as soon as possible. Sure every now and then you may have wanted to wear a dress or skirt, or something considered 'girly', but that didn't mean that you felt like a girl when wearing those things.

It was scary and confusing, trying to figure it out. Perhaps if you had talked it out with someone the realization would've came sooner or easier. Either way you ended up at the same conclusion. You were a guy, a man, a wizard. Not a girl, a woman, or a witch. It was almost freeing to figure that out. Or at least it would be if fear wasn't consuming the forefront of your mind.

That's why you were up so early while your classmates slept around you. You were trying to figure out what to do. You wanted to tell people, maybe even see if you could get switched to the boy's dormitory. But that fear was winning out. Despite how kind everyone was to Sirius when they came out, what if that same grace wasn't extended to you? What would people in other houses think? Professors? Would anyone even start calling you a guy? Would they use the new name you had decided on trying out? There were so many unknows, and the unknown was frightening.

Eventually you had spent enough time stewing in the dorms and moved down to the common room for a change of scenery and a nice fire. When you plopped down on the red velvet couch that's when the stampede from the boy's dorms came down. The first wave was excited second years in their quidditch jerseys, then the tired older quidditch players, then the marauders. James was as energetic as ever, Sirius not too terribly far behind him, Remus half asleep, and Peter practically sleepwalking. Remus was currently using his crutches, walking over and sitting down on the couch next to you. Peter followed suit and sat on the other side of you.

"One of James' early morning practices?" you asked already knowing the answer. Peter groaned in response, slumping against the pillows. Just like that he was back asleep. "Yes. I think he snuck into the kitchens to get our wake up call this morning" Remus mumbled, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. James just looked so proud of himself. He leaned over the couch and pressed a kiss to the top of Remus and Peter's heads before grabbing Sirius' hand. "We're off! Be back in a few hours. Keep Tweety company, will you?"

That damn nickname. You both loved and hated it. James nicknamed you 'Tweety Bird' after you discovered your patronus. A small yellow bird, a Hooded Warbler. "We will Prongs. Or at least I will. Petey is down for the count" Remus chuckled slightly, setting his crutches aside. With the crowd gone you had Remus' full attention. "You're up early. The pots and pans reach the girl's dormitory?" he asked, adjusting a few pillows on the couch to try and get comfortable. "No, just..thinking" real specific.

"About what?" was of course the next thing the werewolf asked. You were quiet for a while, Peter's soft snores the only thing filling the air. Remus patiently waited for an answer, a bit of concern in his eyes at the silence. After a moment he had to ask a follow up question. "Everything alright? Something bothering you? I'll listen if you want to talk. The other's don't need to know."

That broke down what resolve you had left. You didn't realize this but you had been getting worked up in that short amount of time, you face feeling a bit hot and hands shaking. "I'm a guy. I want to go by Y/N." you blurted out. There, it was out in the world now. No taking it back. You were staring down at your feet, trying to expect the worst. Remus let out a small hum then held his hand out. "Well Y/N, I'm Remus, pleased to make your acquaintance" he smiled. That earned a chuckle out of you ask you shook his hand, feeling a little better already. "You're..you're okay with it?"

He almost looked confused. "Well why wouldn't I be? You're my friend, Tweety. No matter your gender, orientation, what have you. And when you want to tell the others they'll have the exact same sentiments" he promised. Though that did mean that he needed to change a few things around for a surprise the four of them had planned. "Am I the first person you've told?" to which you responded with a nod. "Yeah, you're the first. And Peter if he can hear us in his little mini coma. I want to tell them after practice, then just..bring it up to everyone else when it comes up, I guess" it's not like you wanted to call a house-wide meeting about this.

"That makes sense. Sirius and James will likely be a while. James created a new training routine he's trying out. Ever since Slytherin won the cup last year he hasn't eased up. I think if we lose again his head might explode" it was an outrage in the tower after Slytherin won. James and Sirius lead that outrage. Remus as the announcer swore up a storm over the microphone. House points were certainly deducted that day. "All I'm hearing is that the newbies on the team are going to be regretting joining the team" you chuckled. There was a reason why you didn't join the team, and it was James' rigorous training schedule.

For the next two hours you and Remus hung out on the couch, Peter waking up around halfway through. When you first told him the big news he simply blinked at you a few times and went "Huh?" He didn't mean anything by it, poor man had just woken up from a deep sleep. Once he was more awake and could process what you said he was of course happy for you, pulling both you and Remus in for a hug to celebrate. Around breakfast time, the quidditch team came up. As you expected all the first-year players looked miserable. Really everyone did as they marched back up the stairs to lay down. Even Sirius looked bushed. James was the only one still smiling and bouncing with energy. How he did it, no one really knew.

"Moony! Moony our boyfriend killed me! I think I need some mouth to mouth to be saved" He exclaimed, dramatically draping over both the couch and Remus. The wizard rolled his eyes and lightly nudged Sirius. "I think you'll be fine. You sign up for this torture year after year." "What can I say? I'm a masochist" he said with a cheeky grin. James sat down between you and Peter, brushing some hair out of his eyes. "My training isn't that bad! Everyone else is just being dramatic. If you think that's bad just wait til our practice after dinner" that was followed by a groan and loud complaining from all. "Speaking of dramatics, can you two spare them for a moment so I can tell you something?"

For once both Sirius and James were quiet, their attention fully on you. Remus gave you a small nod of encouragement, gesturing for you to take a deep breath. You did so and looked between Sirius and James. "I'm trans. I want to start going by Y/N, he/him." it was a lot easier to say now that it was the third time and yu had already gotten two amazing reactions. Sirius and James didn't dissapoint. Both were smiling brightly and suddenly you were being tackled in a hug by both of them, Peter throwing himself on top of the dog pile and dragging Remus along with him.

"Mate that's bloody amazing!" James chuckled out happily "One of us! One of us!" Sirius playfully chanted, poking your arm. "Does that mean I can get first dibs on all your old skirts and dresses?"

That was all a week ago. Sirius had helped you pick out new clothes on a trip to Hogsmeade while James insisted on picking up the tab. Peter had accompanied you to each of your classes to help you explaim to your professors about your name and pronoun change. Meanwhile Remus had been hard at work in the headmaster's office to get a few things changed around.

Today was the day of that big change. One you had no idea of. James simply told you to meet him in the common room. Then a blindfold was covering your eyes. "James if you lead me to the window and push-" "I would never! How dare you even suggest such a thing!" he gasped in mock offense. "No no! We just have a big surprise planned and you don't get a sneak peak. Stairs, stairs" he warned, helping you up a rather large flight of stairs. But what stairs? You two were just in the common room, the only two staircases were to the dormitories. Even then the girl's staircase was enchanted so that no boys could walk up them. So then-

Suddenly the blindfold was off before you could even complete that thought. You were now in the boy's dormitory, all of your things on the bed in front of you. Bedding, clothes, posters, school supplies, everything. All of the marauders were standing around with big smiles on their faces, though Peter seemed a bit nervous, his cheeks a light pink color. "I talked with Dumbledore and arranged for you to be moved to the boy's dormitory. We had Lily get your things. Though we can move it all back, if you don't want-" "I love it!" You interrupted, rushing to hug all four of them. "Thank you guys, seriously. I was nervous about asking myself"

"Of course Tweety. Though there is something else" Sirius said as he pulled away from the embrace. James looked excited, Peter was now clinging onto Remus. The energy had seemed to shift a bit, in what way you couldn't tell. "Well what else is there? You guys giving e money or something?" you teased with a small smile. That made Sirius chuckle, shaking his head. "No, no. We were all actually wondering..if you wanted to join the polycule?" he asked, giving you a hopeful look. "We all like you, we have for a while but didn't really know how to ask you" James added on. "We were afraid we'd scare you off, y'know, four people fancying you. I know it's a lot" Remus spoke up.

How two amazing things happened in one day, you have no clue. The four people you had felt guilty about liking all liked you back. Merlin if this was a dream you didn't want to wake up. For a moment you forgot to even respond, a bit of panic settling in on their faces. "Oh! Ah yes! Yes sorry, sorry I forgot to even say it out loud." you laughed, smiling from ear to ear. James was the first to tackle you into a hug onto his bed. Well, more accurately, his, Remus', and Peter's beds. They had gone through with their plan of pushing the beds together and just hadn't done Sirius' yet. The other three were quick to follow, all smiling and forming a pile on the beds.

"Bloody hell I thought you were going to say know at first-" Peter chuckled out, resting his head on Sirius' chest right next to Remus. "No! No. I've liked you all for a while, I just..I just didn't think you felt the same way." "Well we do, so clear your schedule Tweety. We'll get all your stuff put away today..after a nap." James declared, struggling to pull enough blankets over everyone. And how could you say no to that? You settled into your place in the cuddle pile, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around James. James did the same for you, reaching one arm a bit further to also be touching Sirius. Sirius had Remus basically laying on top of him and Peter curled up in his side. That's how you all settled in for a rather long nap, and you hadn't been this happy in years.

#marauders #james potter #remus lupin #sirus black #peter pettigrew #marauders fic #dead gay wizards #the marauders era #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders x y/n #marauders x you

[vampiremeerkat]

I kinda need some advice (if you're comfortable giving), how does one keep their cool/sanity in the hellish atmosphere that is fandom nowadays? I really wanna get back to fanart and stuff as purely a hobby (and it was a huge part of my childhood) but considering how much of a warzone it is nowadays, I dunno if I can. Got anything?

Don't think I'm the right person to ask, I've not had that many entanglements with fellow fans throughout my online career. It's easy to assume that's because my overall viewership/online presence is low, but I've had the occasional semi-viral success and always enjoyed more praise than "criticism". I'd say fandoms in general are lenient and supportive, but every and any kind of community in the world has an insufferable minority. They shout and have alot of time on their hands, making it seem like you're dealing with a crowd, but that's never the case. Even if hundreds of people jump you, billions walk the Earth; it's not even a fraction of a percent you've displeased. But here's an actual answer to your question: In short:

Choose your fandoms wisely.

Don't overstay your welcome by sticking with one.

Don't join any online communities or participate in ongoing discourse. You're only here to draw.

Train yourself to understand that nothing in life fucking matters anyway. :(

In ｌｏｎｇ: I switch my focus alot. If I attract fans of a particular fandom, but the next thing I show off is less likely to tickle their interest, most will leave again, and it's kinda protecting me from growing an unsettlingly invested fanbase. Praise and attention never motivated me to stick around with one series for long, because I know what's waiting around the corner and don't want to be known as "the <insert this one piece of media here> artist", anyway. Look at my nonsense and go away, I just want to die alone! I'm also not active at any online forums and rarely look up and comment on other people's work. Spares you alot of "who asked you"-styled responses. I might've not when I was younger, but agree with the sentiment now. Unless you come across something criminal, why intrude on someone else's fun. Grumble about it on your account if you must, but don't take it to theirs.. even though it's valid to argue that posting something online is an automatic invitation for others to critique it, especially when you don't apply any form of visibility restrictions. I don't really care to discuss ideas with fellow fans. Weird claim, since my Tumblr exists, but I started this account to post Deviantart stuff. People showed up one day and started asking questions about the fandoms I've been involved in (or haven't), but it's not my hobby to get deep about a fictional property. Without getting instigated, anyway. I think about a question's subject as I read the words, do my best to dissect the whole thing and not throw around one-sentence replies, but seldom have the answer ready in my head. The3Eds was the only forum I enjoyed myself at, and the things I talked about over there barely had anything to do with Ed, Edd n Eddy. In the end, no one will be able to offer you one foolproof strategy on this matter. There've been many artists in the past who minded their business and were slaughtered by strangers. You need to be the kind of person who doesn't take online verbal abuse to bed. That's hard to do if you're looking for validation. You could avoid large fandoms that are known to attract the overly defensive and offensive, but if you have to tiptoe through life for others, what's even the point. Know that the internet is a luxury you don't have to participate in. Log off for a week or so if you're feeling down, or alternatively, delete all comment notifications indiscriminately as you keep on doing your thing.. unless you insist on deleting negative comments, but I don't think you should. Why stop people from embarrassing themselves in public. I don't think I've ever deleted comments, unless it's copy-pasted stuff/spam, because what often happens is that the poster regrets and deletes it themselves. I suppose that has value too. Allow that shit to stay alive, so the poster may one day return to it and potentially realise they're better than that. It's easier to keep your calm when you humanize your critics, if you can. The way a person expresses themselves may be trash, but what is it they're saying, and can the reason be empathized with? Sometimes you're dealing with someone who's obviously a child. I struggle to get angry at people under the age of 20. But really -and more importantly- no one should waste their time on fighting fellow fans when it concerns an issue that's objectively not important, you have better things to do. Try to close your eyes for it, it's seldom personal, even if the attacks try to be. People can pretend, but they don't know you and never will.

#fandom

[fumifooms]

Mithrun x Marcille

Second part of my “Dunmeshi rarepairs I will birth with my own hands if I have to” series

Marcille and Mithrun… No no HEAR ME OUT besides chap 94 I think Mithrun was the most emotional when confronting Marcille about the whole situation of her maybe being on the edge of becoming dungeon lord AND he seemed to empathize with her?!! Look at his face! Listen to his words!

He desired to save her. The ex-dungeon lord who lost everything and the newly dungeon lady about to walk herself into a trap and lose everything. They seem very compatible to me attitude wise, without mentioning that they seem to be each other’s type (Marcille’s succubus, Mithrun’s love). Marcille could even put an eyepatch on him lmfao. I feel like his very blunt attitude (most shown when he confronted Thistle about the flaws in his plan and perspective, but also the whole interactions with Marcille at Thistle’s home) would be good for Marcille, both in a ‘convincing her’ way and just in a general relationship & dynamic way. They’re both pretty tragic characters, who need the same kind of comfort imo. They’re mirrors of each other, he reflects what she would become. The Marcille that has been tempted by Power and desires and is left wrecked from it, regrets, is filled with nothing but vengeance. The Mithrun of the past that might yet still be able to be reasoned with, to be saved. People who wanted to live in an utopia with their loved ones. Listen, everyone by the end is left needing to find themselves a new dream and goal, that’s sorta the point with character arcs and it’s very in theme with the series’ message of constantly desiring new things, BUT I just think it’d be cute if specifically Marcille & Mithrun found a new purpose together ok <3 Mithrun could walk over to her to apologize for the murderous behavior and an acquaintance would start from there. Hnng idk idk it’s understated quiet romance and I love that I’m sorry!!

THIS POST’S TAGS YES YES YOU GET IT!!!!! Listen my fave thing in ships is when the characters surprisingly have that 1 fundamental thing in common like a fear or desire and that is them!!! I love them sm. This is currently the dunmeshi ship I like the most, sorry. I wanna do a full character and dynamic analysis and write a longfic and do fanart and- Edit: here’s some fanart and more rambles about them hehe!! I make some new points I like in it, like how Marcille’s a mom friend who likes caring after her loved ones.

Somewhat related but I think Mithrun overall is a closer allegory to PTSD and brain damage than depression, and ye I do think that would work well with this dynamic’s potential as well- but that’s a topic for another day

Ok btw ship name wise what are we thinking mithrille to be close to “mithril” or “myrtille” which is essentially french for blueberry? Gonna use mithrille esp since it’s an unique word for practicality but there are fun little motifs we could use with their names there

The leftovers </3 The abused second heir bastard that a demon didn’t deign to finish eating and the girl who’ll always outlive everyone she knows and loves.

They met each other when they were both at a mental low, and they can get better from there. It’s a special kind of intimacy when you both intimately know each other’s lowest moments idk. They’ve fought to the death like 3 times they can drop the formalities at that point lmao. (she never wanted to kill him btw, only "overreacted” as instinctive self-defense). I love how everyone had to keep pulling Mithrun off Marcille bc it looked so bad and he couldn’t stop going straight for her throat lol

Presidential alert the babygirls are fighting

#dungeon meshi #mini ship analysis #mithrun #marcille donato #actually a tag that’s literally just a word that’s commonly used would be a bad idea #Mithrun x marcille #marcille x mithrun #marcille #Mithrille #Dunmeshi rarepairs #I think he’d find it comforting that she knows how it’s like to be a dunlord. No judgement yk yk. Tho he wishes he could have prevented it #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers

[theinvisiblemuseum]

how about......people demanding wlw rep then never actually engaging with it because the only thing they care about is woke points☕

this really was the wrong day for me to rb this game because i'm seriously genuinely going to be a major cunt about it and i dgaf. that's your warning.

so. here's what i think. in very general terms.

if you don't want to read below the cut (valid) here's all i'll say: stop, actually. i don't want need or care about the megaviral wlw fanfictions of your dreams, because that's not how i choose to engage with fandoms. i already make and engage with the kind of content i want to see which (surprise!) includes a lot of wlw content, but i don't see the need to force moral superiority down people's throats over it. i don't give two shits if anyone other than me is making wlw content. this is fanfiction. fanart. etc. people are allowed to write or engage with whatever they want, HOWEVER if you're throwing a fit over not having enough wlw content and can't name a woman off the top of ur head, that seems like a you problem, idk. basically i choose to actively NOT engage with the type of people screaming crying and pissing themselves over content that already exists that they can't be bothered to look for because appearances and #feminism are all that matters.

if you're here, i'm going to get more cunty, not sorry, you were warned.

the demand for wlw rep is absolutely just dog whistling to seem holier than thou, and like, whatever, most of this shit originates on twitter and tiktok and i've never listened to a word a twitter or tiktok user has said and i won't start now so on the whole i can just put my metaphorical headphones on and tune it out and keep doing my thing, yk? but when it permeates my little den of horror and my brain starts scratching itself, well, i find that sometimes i need to be an asshole and sometimes is right now.

it's not actually a fandom sexism/misogyny issue it's an issue of wanting validation to enjoy certain things, because those things are only cool if the hivemind says so, right? i'm no political expert but i know enough to know that cultlike thought patterns don't lead anywhere good. i've seen zombie movies. i live in america. LOL.

i always joke about how i'd rather die than have my favorite ships become popular (i.e. pandalily, bartydora, lilycissa, etc) but the reason i say that is because a. it breeds discourse that i don't care about, and b. i don't want a bunch of people engaging with content they're not actually interested in just to seem woke or stay on top of trends. it just makes things worse for the people who actually enjoy it.

and while i have your attention, and while i'm being a bitch, wanna know one of the big reasons i think people are crying and whining about the 'lack of wlw rep'? they want other people to care so they don't have to. of course, they don't realize other people already dooooo care, because they're too terrified to sort by anything other than hits on ao3, but that's neither here nor there. no, what they want is for some big strong heavenly god to bite the bullet and characterize these women that, let's be frank, are names on a page and nothing more, so they don't have to. so they can keep on keeping on with the characters they DO care about and toss something around every once and a while about (insert megaviral wlw fic that doesn't exist) to avoid claims of sexism & lesbophobia. AND AS A DISCLAIMER! i don't think people should feel the need to care about a bunch of random characters if they don't want to. once again, this is fanfiction. do whatever the fuck you want. i promise it makes things so much more fun and chill. just because i wanna characterize the shit out of pandora fucking lovegood, i'd never demand anyone else does, and that's the crux of it, isn't it?

this is why it also bugs me when i see posts like 'omg i don't even care who the ship is, i just love sapphics!' or smth along those lines because like, yeah, i love women and i love when women fuck each other and love each other, but i'm not just gonna care about a ship because it's two women. if i did, i'd be more than happy with the pg spoonfed #girlcore sapphic representation in mass media, because half the time it's just two white girls named rachel and brookleighanna whose only defining character traits are that they're gay. nothing more. and sorry, but i'd rather have no wlw content than that. i can't enjoy a ship if i haven't rotated them to hell and back like a rotisserie chicken in my silly little head, often before i've even consumed any content about them. that's the fun of it! i sent like 12 voice messages about a ship i don't even care about that much one time just because i took a shower and had a lot of thoughts. does that mean i'm going to attempt to make them a cornerstone of the Fandom As A Whole and be treated like a celebrity over it? fuck no. i'm just here because i like to have fun and talk to people about characters we all enjoy and create so much lore in my head that only 2 people will ever know about simply because i'm passionate about it and that passion is really enjoyable to me. fandom is a community to me, not a hierarchy, like tiktok or twitter would have you believe, and i think that's what this whole conversation about wlw rep is missing right from the jump. (ta da! i circled back to the point at hand in the end. my tangent had a point!)

yeah so that's my two cents. lol.

#organ donations #yizyaz #if you read all this sorry #or you're welcome #take your pick