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cherryblossom-heart · 1 year

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I loved you once B.B

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy but breaking your heart seemed to come naturally to him. A love story about your heartbreak,his betrayal and a chance at redemption.

19.1 k words

Content Warning: ANGST, heartbreak, cheating, mature themes, +18 SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (Pussy job, penetrative sex p in v, sad/angry sex? Rough sex mixed with a little pain. It will make sense once you read it) . Fluff, mentions of bad mental health from both Bucky and reader, graphic violence, character's death, mentions of women trafficking as well as assault.

A/N: Wow 19k words. Im sorry this took so long to finish but as you can tell it is super long as I promised. Buckle up y'all, this is sad. Also this is my first time writing a proper cheating fic so if you can/want let me know if you like it or not. You're welcomed to send me an ask with any comments, questions, etc., you have on this 😊

Post dividers by @firefly-graphics and @cafekitsune

Now

"Fuck you," you spat the words.

Tears fell from your eyes as they made their way down your neck, making dark spots in the collar of your red turtleneck. Even when pain was drowning you, beauty never left you. Bucky felt as if he were watching a beautiful Renaissance painting—a tragedy of sorts.

"Is that all? I really don’t have time for this."

He didn’t recognize his own words or the indifference they came out with. He didn’t mean to say them, but it was as if his own body was working on autopilot, and he was only a spectator to the shitshow it was causing. He wanted to stop. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to say so many things, but the only thing he was capable of was hurting you.

"Are you kidding me? That’s all you’re going to say?"

"What else do you want me to say? You know what happened, you saw her with your own eyes. Anything I say is either going to make you angrier or make you cry even more. Let’s just be done with this, you’ll eventually get over it."

The sound of your hand connecting with his face put an end to his sentence. The hit didn’t feel as such, his skin barely processed it as anything more than a simple graze, but once the initial shock wore off, the sting came along. But it didn’t compare to the pain he felt in his heart when his eyes connected with yours once again.

"I always knew you were capable of many things, but not once did I think you would ever be this cruel."

Your eyes drifted to your hands, your right hand playing with the ring you wore in your left. A sigh left your lips, and more tears fell before you finally slid it off your finger, placing it on the table next to you.

A bucket of iced water. Painful, burning, scorching coldness— that’s how Bucky would describe looking at you while silently breaking your engagement. His mind was telling him to get on his knees, beg, and try to fix everything he had broken. But the darkest part of him, the one that had taken over his life was assuring him you were bluffing. You couldn’t leave, you always stayed. You always fought for him, even when he didn’t deserve it.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes rolling with the uninterested façade he had perfected.

"I’m done, I can’t keep doing this anymore." You turned your back, strong and determined steps leading to his apartment door.

Please, fix this.

His trembling hands made their way to your wrist, anything that could mend the cracks in your heart that seeped with pain, the cracks he had caused with his own selfishness. Before his fingers could even graze your skin, your hand quickly swatted away his pathetic effort to stop you.

"God, stop being so goddamed drama—"

"Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t try to contact me ever again, I won’t answer."

"Can you just—"

"If I ever see you again I swear I’ll murder you. I didn’t kill you the first time we met but I swear I’ll do it if you even dare to breath in my direction."

Your words hurt, it seemed as though each one stabbed him right through the chest in a taunting way, a reminder of how much he had screwed up. Bile rose to his throat when you recoiled at his proximity, and the hate in your eyes burned him with such force that he was sure you wouldn't wait until the next time you met.

He deserved it either way.

Bucky's eyes opened just as the car jolted, his heart racing against his chest, his ears buzzing. For a fraction of a second, he's confused, not remembering why he was in the car, but the fogginess of his thoughts was replaced with anxiety when he heard the tracker beeping on Sam's thigh.

"Good, you’re awake. I think we’re almost there." Sam kept his eyes on the road, occasionally glancing down at the device that told him where to go. Judging by his demeanor, his friend didn’t seem as nervous as he did, if at all. It wasn’t like Sam had a reason to, he was the only one who had fucked up.

He looked out at the vehicle, and the passing trees in the darkness of the night numbed his mind while he tried to forget about his dream. No, it wasn’t a dream, it was his worst memory to date. Usually, his nightmares were about the crimes he had committed while being the Winter Soldier, and he could blame them on his consciousness not being there with him. His own body didn’t belong to him, so he couldn’t keep blaming himself for the things HYDRA had forced him to do.

With you, on the other hand, he could not blame anyone else but himself. His mind wasn’t tortured by a secret organization in hopes of ruining his relationship, nor was he forced to hurt the person about whom he cared the most to save thousands of lives. He did it all by himself, and now the nightmares have not only scared him but hurt him all over again.

You started to show up in his dreams more frequently once Sam told him they needed your help. As expected, the super-soldier's first reaction was total and complete refusal. His friend thought it was a childish reaction the former winter soldier was having to avoid the awkwardness of meeting you again, only knowing your relationship had ended on bad terms without hearing the specifics. But the blue-eyed man wasn’t doing it for himself, he was doing it for you. The night you left, you made it clear you didn’t want anything to do with him, or even anything related to him, your resignation from the Avengers Team and subsequent evaporation from the face of the earth was a strong message to leave you alone.

After a few hours of arguing, with both men going back and forth on why they did or didn't need you, Bucky finally agreed to go look for you. Lives were at stake, and no matter how hard he tried to look for a solution that avoided you, there seemed to be none. Before he could ask where to even start looking for you, Sam pulled out a device that seemed familiar to a phone. You had given Sam, and only Sam, a tracker that could find you anywhere in the world and could only be unlocked by a password you had whispered to him

The depth of his tormenting cycle of thoughts didn’t let him register they weren’t on the road anymore until his partner stopped the vehicle. They were surrounded by tall, dense trees, and the crickets and cicadas that hid in the dark made an orchestra that filled the emptiness of the night. Sam grabbed his gear, the sound of a duffle bag being opened broke the rhythm of nature.

"Why are we stopping here?" Bucky asked with a frown. His own duffle was placed across his back, the tinkering of the metal inside it annoying him slightly.

His friend threw an annoyed look at him before rolling his eyes and scrambling through his belongings. "As I said like twenty minutes ago while you were brooding and having your own pity party, this thing shows her inside a building in the middle of the woods. I’d like to take a look around the area before going in blind."

"Oh."

Normally, the super soldier would’ve had a comeback for the annoying yet harmless insults his friend and partner would throw at him, even a snide comment. But this was different, no matter what Sam would say, he could only think of what was about to happen. So he let it slide, submerging himself in his own thoughts while Sam threw the little flying robot he nicknamed "Red Wing" into the air. Once it was hovering above them and Sam made sure to have full control of it, they began a walk that would last about thirty minutes before the device would find any signs of life.

Sam and him were waiting somewhere near the alleged building, Sam's robot scanning the surroundings.The thumping in his chest returned, and his fingers became ice cold.He was so close. Close enough to see you, close enough to talk to you, and perhaps close enough to apologize.

How would you react to seeing him? Would you be happy to see him? Probably not, considering the last thing you said to him was that you would kill him if he ever came near you. He knew he deserved it, but hopefully time changed your murderous resolution. Maybe even forgave him.

Could you ever forgive him?

A slight swat from Sam brought him back from his thoughts, silently letting him know they were ready to go. Bucky could sense it before the place was even visible, the vibrations of the music resonating through the ground. The smell of smoke, alcohol, and humanity reached his nostrils right as they saw the line of cars parked in a plain field next to what resembled a warehouse.

To an untrained eye, it would look like a normal, unsanitary, and probably unsafe rave done by stupid people. But the polarized windows of the cars, the shine coming from the inside of the guards' jackets, and the lot of security cameras installed in the building told another story. Whatever or whoever was in there was dangerous, and as usual, you had gotten yourself in the middle of it.

Bucky wasn’t an idiot. He knew you couldn’t stay away from helping people, no matter how hard you tried. He saw the breadcrumbs, microscopic, little clues that he could recognize as your style. A missing girl suddenly returning to her family, a kidnapped journalist in the middle of war returning to their respective embassy. A child trafficker falling from his hotel room in the twentieth floor. You had always been... effective when it came to missions, sometimes going overboard with your methods, but Tony, Steve, and himself had always guided you towards the good and righteous path that a person with your abilities was supposed to take.

You lost all three of them in the span of a year.

They were lucky that it was relatively easy to get inside, and even luckier that their clothes didn't draw too much attention to them. Sure, they seemed to be wearing more clothes than needed, as most people seemed to enjoy themselves topless and/or pantless, but with the darkness of the room barely being lit by the flashing blue and red lights, no one really noticed them.

Guys, girls, and people he wasn’t sure how to label were grinding against each other. Hands touched him, pulling his jacket, and he had to push them all away, trying to make his way through the sea of people. The inside of the warehouse could pass for a functioning club, with couches, dance floors, and screens accommodating everyone inside.

Bucky wasn’t sure he had ever seen anything like this; the debauchery that people showed shocked his old-fashioned ways. He was sure he had seen several people inside each other, whether it was fingers, tongues, or dicks, no one seemed to mind that everyone else could see them. How had you gotten yourself into the middle of this disguised orgy? What were you even doing here?

Both men made their way to the front of the place, where a private section was installed looking over the dancefloor. Two large guys guarded the stairs that connected the lower and upper levels, allowing mostly attractive girls to ascend. Both men agreed that if you were to be found somewhere, it would undoubtedly be there. They scanned the room, looking for any way they could access the VIP level without having a pair of tits and long legs.

He had never understood scenes in movies where they showed time slowing down. Every time he had been in a fight, whether it was as himself in the forties or as the winter soldier, everything seemed to happen too fast to process. Even the night you left, time had seemed to go at an abnormally fast pace, and by the time he could finally react the way he wanted, it had been too late.

He never understood those scenes until he saw you walking to the protective railing surrounding the edge of the private section. Above the deafening music, the moans, and the music, he could hear your voice talking to someone else.

It was as if he was seeing you for the first time. Your beauty had remained the same your hair, your eyes, and your lips all looked the same, yet his heart started racing just as it did all those years ago. You weren’t dressed like everyone else dancing around him, your black dress with a dangerous deep cleavage was sensuous, but it held a certain level of class that made you stand out from the crowd.

Thump, thump, thump.

Time moved at a slow pace, the slowest he had experienced. He was grateful for it, as it allowed him to appreciate every detail from you. The way your lips came close to the drink you had in your hand, the drumming your fingers did on top of the railing, the glint in your eyes—he knew it meant you were lost in your thoughts.

Bucky had never been more grateful for the way time passed. Until he saw a pair of hands sliding across your waist, fingers gripping your hips so roughly, he was sure they would leave a mark on your skin. A semi-attractive man whispered words in your ear, his beard scruffing against your skin. You smirked, turning around to plaster your lips against his in a kiss that could make a pornstar blush.

He knew you'd moved on; nearly a year had passed since the last time he saw you, and you'd probably found someone to sleep with, but he wasn't ready to watch you become someone else's. His mind was prepared to face your happiness, but his heart wasn’t. And even now, he was sure you were just tagging along with the man, using him for information for whatever mission you had gotten yourself into, yet he felt as if what remained of his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

With strong, rough movements, the man turned you around, pressing your body against the railing. As his hand grabbed your neck, your hips grinded against his, your mouth open as you licked your lips.

The super soldier couldn’t take it anymore, his heart begged him to stop the torture. He wasn’t even sure where Sam was, nor did he care. He cared about you, and he could only think about what he had lost. With the last of his dignity, he began to look away from you and your companion, who had leaned over to your ear once more. Except this time his eyes found Bucky’s, his fingers tightening around your neck.

He knew. Somehow the man knew who he was and, most importantly, who you were.

Your eyes widen slightly, searching through the sea of people dancing downstairs. But it didn't take you long to find those blue eyes you once adored. He was there, looking exactly the same as the night you left him, along with your heart.

"I know who you are." The man whispered in your ear—a threat not so subtly hidden behind every word.

But you couldn’t dwell long on his words because ice-cold eyes looked back at you. Ice cold eyes brought back the pain you thought you left behind, and the rage surfaced once more as you remembered the promises you made him.

Cold metal was pressed against your neck, the edge of it grazing your skin. Bucky’s eyes widened in alarm, and his hands turned into fists, making him look like he cared. Like he actually had a heart.

He barely took two steps in your direction when the wicked smile you wore stopped him. It was sinister. It was deadly. And when you turned to the man to say something, his grip faltered as one word left your lips.

"Good"

Your head connected against the man’s nose, a crack let you know it was most likely broken. You barely heard the man’s yells when bullets made their way to you, a couple of them grazing your skin. The room that was once filled with hips swaying, alcohol, and moans had transformed into a frenzy of screams and people running to get out of the building.

The crowd tried to take Bucky away; their desperate attempts at escaping dragged him away as he fought his way through the sea of people. Seconds passed, and he could hear your grunts as well as more shooting coming from the upper floor, with girls running down the stairs, some of them with splashes of blood staining their clothes.

He didn’t know whose blood it belonged to, and that frightened him.

Sam’s voice pulled him out of his trance. "What the hell happened?"

His friend had managed to make his way to him, both of them still getting pushed around. Bucky offered him a quick glance before resuming his previous task of making his way to the stairs.

"Her cover is blown," was all the explanation Bucky offered, and somehow it was enough. Before any of them could add anything, screams came from the front door, three bulky men were making their way there while carrying very large and dangerous guns. "Take care of them, I’ll go help her," the super soldier said without leaving any room for discussion.

When his fingers finally grabbed the banister of the stairs, Bucky was close to losing his mind. Climbing two steps at a time, he finally found himself a scene that froze him in the spot.

You were there, your black dress ripped in some places, your makeup ruined by mascara running down your cheeks, and blood splashes tainted your flawless skin. Bucky had managed to get there just in time as you twisted a man's arm to an unnatural angle, the crack of his joint popping out of place was followed by his screams. You had managed to kill/knock out everyone except for the guy who had previously had a knife to your throat, and Bucky knew better than to think that was just a mere coincidence.

After the last man fell to the ground, blood sputtering out of his neck, you lifted your gaze towards him. He couldn’t read you as easily as he had once been able to and he hated it. Before, he was sure he knew you better than you knew yourself, more than once already sure of your likes and dislikes before you asked him for an opinion. He had treasured those times in his mind, and the memories were as comforting as they were painful. A constant reminder of what he had lost.

He was right there, right in front of you. The man you fell in love with when you still had a heart. The man who still had a tight grip on it and who would probably always own it. He could keep it for all you cared, your heart was tainted with memories you didn’t wish to keep.

It was the first time both of you were this close, every scream gone as you were absorbed by your own bubble. He looked so familiar that your own body reacted the way it used to whenever you saw him. Your heart stammered in your chest, and even after so long, the butterflies in your stomach appeared for a millisecond. He was the man you had once loved, he was the man with whom you imagined a future together.

Then, you remembered why all your hopes and dreams had been destroyed.

Bucky noticed the hurt flashing through your face, your jaw tightening right before you made your way to him. For a moment, he thought you were about to hug him, your desperation to reach him in your long strides mirroring his as his body begged him to touch you. He wanted to apologize, beg for forgiveness at your feet, and profess the love that he wasn��t able to forget.

Perhaps if his mind hadn't been plagued with all the things he wanted to do, he would’ve noticed your foot rising to give him a solid kick on the chest.

The force and unexpectedness of your attack launched him back to the railing, throwing him over it. His back landed with a loud thud on the floor, fortunate enough for him, everyone else seemed to have dissipated and his fall wasn’t that high up. A second later, you jumped from the banister, landing on top of him with your knife in hand. Your knee found it’s place on his chest, feet pressing his hands flat on the surface. Before Bucky could even muster a word, the blade was pinned against his throat.

"I told you if I ever saw you again, I would fucking kill you."

Then

Steve had changed so much in the years they had spent apart. His friend, who had once been the fragile little Brooklyn boy he would protect with his life, was now a fully grown man with a strength that could crush a person if he wasn’t careful enough. He was also now his protector, not from bullies that would harass him because of his own stubbornness but from a secret organization that wanted to take over the world. That and his own fractured mind.

He had lost control once the man had given him the commands to bring back the deadly assassin they had turned him into. He remembered it all, but it had felt as if he was under water the whole time, falling deeper and deeper the more he tried to fight against it. His own body didn’t belong to him, no matter how hard he tried to control it.

For a year, he had thought it was possible to lead a normal life; his time spent in Romania had given him false hope that he had gotten away from his captors. How foolish he had been, thinking he could ever be far away from his grasps. He wasn’t the man he was before, just a weapon designed to hurt people.

He supposed he was lucky Steve still saw good in him, at least enough to turn against his teammates and friends to help him clear his name. And now, as they drove to one of Steve’s friends' hideouts, he couldn’t help but feel guilty about everything that was going on. If he hadn’t lost control, Steve wouldn't be a wanted criminal. If he wasn’t captured, a shit ton of innocent, good people would still be alive. If his mind had been stronger, he could’ve broken free of HYDRA's mind control.

Maybe it would’ve been better if he had actually died when he fell from that train.

Steve parked outside an abandoned apartment complex, it seemed no one had lived there in years. He threw a questioning eyebrow at Sam, who just shrugged before getting out of the vehicle. Another of Steve’s friends had decided to help him out of loyalty to Steve, not because he particularly liked Bucky or entirely believed in his good side.

All three men walked inside the building, not a sound inside other than their footsteps and heavy breathing. Steve looked around for a couple of seconds before making his way to the second floor, his intuition telling him where to go. He stood in front of a door with a big C plastered on it, his friend's hand hesitating before knocking on the wood.

After the third knock came back without an answer, Steve decided to open the door. He had called a name while crossing the threshold, looking around for any signs of life inside the apartment. Bucky was surprised to find the apartment filled with computers, blueprints, documents, and lots of military-grade equipment. Everything gave away the signs of someone working there, yet there was no one who took ownership over them.

It was too late when Bucky heard you standing behind him, with his feet being swept by your leg and effectively knocking him down. The wooden floor amplified the echo of his fall, catching Steve and Sam’s attention. Your frame landed on top of his, gun aimed directly between his eyes.Bucky's hand reached to grab your ankle in an effort to destabilize you, but the barrel of your weapon was pressed right on his forehead.

"I wouldn’t do it if I were you," you said coolly. "I promise you, I’ll blow your brains out before you can even land a hit."

After your words filled the room, Bucky’s eyes finally took their chance to look at you, actually look at you.

God, you were beautiful.

Maybe it was only your physical beauty that had taken him by surprise, or the fact that you had taken him down so easily with just one leg movement. Or even the fact that you seemed to have no fear towards a man who was being marketed as a "dangerous and armed terrorist." Whatever it was, Bucky couldn’t deny the fact that you were the most beautiful human being he had seen.

After a few explanations from Steve’s part and some begging for help, you released the super soldier from your hold, weapon holstered in your back. Your hand extended to help him get off the floor, and you offered him a charming but wary smile.

You told the three men to make themselves at home and take anything they needed. Bucky had chosen to keep guard, being by himself in the top floor while looking out through a window that hid him from everyone else. He was stewing in his own complicated thoughts when he heard a knock on the wall. You were there, standing a few feet away from him with a shy smile on your face as you extended to him a cup filled with hot coffee.

Thump, thump, thump.

"Sorry about the whole thing holding you hostage," you said as he welcomed the cup.

His fingers accidentally grazed against your own, and it was as if he had touched electricity itself. Heat extended from his hands all through his body, and his ability to think was thrown out of the window. He looked at you, and he couldn’t tell if you felt the same or not, but he could feel how your eyes burned him, with a curiosity behind them that was so easy to read that he was surprised you were the black ops/spy Sam had told him.

"It’s whatever, I would’ve done the same thing if I were you." Bucky answered after a few seconds.

He turned to look through the window again, trying to keep his thoughts in order. You settled down next to him, the warmth of your skin reaching his own. Nothing could be heard other than your breathings, not even the cars outside or the sound of the busy city that hid you. And for the first time in a long time, Bucky felt relaxed with someone he didn’t know from the past.

"I’m James."

He could’ve sworn he heard you smile before you gave him your name.

Now

"What the fuck are you doing here, Barnes?"

The music was still on, as were the blue and red lights that lighted up the darkness in the room. Bucky could feel the breeze of your breath on his face and the smell of expensive whisky and tobacco in every word you said. He wasn’t surprised, the man that you knocked out probably tried to impress you with them.

But behind the traces of blood, alcohol, and gunpowder, he could smell your shampoo. The same peony smell mixed with lavander filled his nostrils, and it brought him back to the many nights you had spent together. Your fingers were drawing circles on the skin of his back, and his nose was buried in your hair.

You, on the other hand, were reminded of the suffering he caused you with every passing second.

"I told you to stay away from me," you muttered.

Your hand pressed the edge of the blade on his skin, and you were sure if you kept going you were going to start drawing out blood, but you couldn’t care less. Bucky Barnes had always been an expert at instilling unwanted emotions in you, and it was difficult to keep those emotions at bay right now.

You felt anger. You felt resentment. You felt pure, long-lasting hatred.

"Maybe I should slit your throat right now, that’ll make you stay away from me permanently."

Your words were intimidating, filled with the same promise you had made him that fateful night. This was his chance, his chance at the apology that had died out in his throat when you closed the door behind him. This was the chance he had chased in his dreams for almost a year.

But he couldn’t say anything.

He loved you. God, he loved you so much. He missed seeing your face other than in the few pictures he kept or in the memories that did no justice. Because even now, as you threatened to kill him, you were a dream come true, just like the first time he saw you.

"Say something!"

"You’re beautiful."

Your grip faltered on the knife, your eyebrows slightly furrowing at his words.

No, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t come back out of nowhere, say some cheesy, basic compliment, and make the walls of hate you had built crumble. Even if he had only managed to knock down one brick, he didn't deserve it. You knew it, he knew it, and everyone else who knew what happened between you two knew it.

Then why did your heart flutter at his words?

"Hey," Sam said, breaking the silence, your head snapping in his direction."I know he’s an asshole, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t kill my partner."

You look back at Bucky for a few seconds before giving up, throwing your knife to the floor. Sam leaned over, his hand extended to help Bucky get up.Your murderous eyes went from Bucky to Sams, your gaze softening at his friend.

"I told you to only contact me in emergencies," you grumbled.

A hiss left your lips when you touched your arm, one of the bullet wounds was still seeping blood. Bucky thought about telling you something, but this time he listened to the rational part of his brain that told him to shut the fuck up.

"Believe me, if we had a choice, we wouldn’t have come," Sam said.

Your eyes flickered between both men, not convinced about helping them. Well, on helping the blue eyed super soldier. A pathetic excuse for why you couldn’t help them died on your lips once you saw his blue eyes. Please, help us they begged.

You didn’t owe him anything. You shouldn’t help him, but in the back of your head, Steve’s voice rang through. Good ol’ Steve Rogers and his everlasting moral lessons. That's what we have to do, he said.

So you put aside your feelings because helping people mattered more than an idiot who broke your heart.

"What do you want?" You sighed.

"We’re looking into something... odd. A bunch of pregnant women missing, still in their early stages of pregnancy. Most of them show up dead after giving birth, but the babies are nowhere to be found."

You shrug. "They take the kids, so?"

It was cold, you were aware of it. But after the things you had seen, the things you had done, you were aware that people kidnapping woman for their babies wasn’t something out of the ordinary, let alone something that required Captain America to look into it. Things like that were always forgotten, pushed back into a slew of cases alongside more missing women.

"They had traces of the super serum."

Fuck.

You laughed. A joyless, cynical type of laugh. Destiny, of course, had to be a jerk.

"Well, you’re in luck. I think we’re tracking down the same people." Sam raised an eyebrow at you with a simple request for you to elaborate. "A girl showed up dead in México a couple of months ago, she’d been missing for almost a year. Autopsy showed she had a miscarriage before dying, the bleeding killed her. The remains had traces of the serum too."

"Are you saying that—?" Sam couldn’t finish his sentence, the thought sending chills along his spine.

"Yeah."

The air is somber between the three of you. Sure, the flag smashers were a problem when they appeared, as you knew from all the news reports you'd seen.People with ten times the strength of a normal human being were dangerous, especially if they were associated with a terrorist organization.

This was different, though. This was sinister.

Groans coming from the top floor broke the eeriness that surrounded you, making you finally remember why you were here. You tore apart part of the black dress that was once pristine and wrapped it around your arm.

"Look at this guy over there," you said, motioning behind you. "He has intel on this, he’s the one that gets the girls and delivers them."

"Well, let’s take him in and—"

You cut Sam off. "No. Look, you came looking for me because this is my specialty. I know how to handle guys like him, and I sure as hell know he won’t tell us shit if we take him to a precinct and threaten him with some jail time. He’s a big fish. A few phone calls and he’ll be out in no time." They knew you were right, but they didn’t like your arguments. "We do this my way, or you better pray you find them before I do."

Sam looked hesitant. He knew what you were going to do to the man, and his good conscience chastised him for even thinking of letting you torture someone. But the rational part, the part that knew that in this case there wasn’t much of an option, knew that they needed you, and perhaps you also needed them.

"Just, don’t kill him." Sam said before walking away.

Compromise. You could do compromise.

"Fine," you said, rolling your eyes.

After Sam slammed the door shut on his way out, you were reminded of the fact that you weren't alone. Bucky’s eyes were already looking at you, the same apologetic eyes you had seen before you kicked him in the chest.

"Thanks for helping us." He spoke, thinking it was an appropriate way to break the ice, but it only managed to make you scoff.

"Let’s make something clear, I’m not doing this for you." you spat. "I’m doing this because Sam needs my help and so we can save those innocent girls and stop any more from being taken. This doesn’t change anything between us, as soon as this is over, you go back to leaving me the fuck alone, got it?"

Say something. Fight for her. Explain what happened, his mind begged him.

But he couldn’t, because even if it had been almost a year since he last saw you, he was still the same coward who let you walk away without a fight.

So he agreed.

"Yeah."

"Good. I’ll meet you outside."

Then

"Thanks for the coffee." Bucky said before taking a sip.

Droplets of water fell from his forehead, a strand of unruly black hair was hanging on the side of his eyebrows. The towel that hung from his waist, showing his torso all the way down to that sculpted V of his abdomen, made it too difficult to concentrate on the files you were trying to organize.

The man was hotter than the sun.

"No problem." you smiled at him.

You had no idea it would be the best and worst decision you'd ever made when you suggested Bucky stay with you while Steve went to rescue the others.You liked Bucky, and the few days you spent with him while Steve and the others gathered everything they needed so they could go find Zemo had been nice. Sure, he was a man of a few words, but it didn’t bother you. It was weirdly comforting to be able to enjoy someone’s company in silence. And the times he spoke, he did it out of pure curiosity, curiosity about the world, about what had happened while he was in the ice, but mostly about you.

He asked about your cases, how you met Steve, and how you came to partner with some of the most powerful people in the world. He asked about your life, about your childhood in the orphanage, and what made you choose to help people. He asked so many questions, yet he still respected you when you didn’t want to answer some of them. He asked, not to pry, but to get to know you, and in return, when you asked him something, he was as honest as he felt comfortable being.

And that was the problem. No matter how much you tried, you knew your days with Bucky Barnes were numbered. Ever since you were young, you knew that being in this line of work would prevent you from having a normal life. You couldn't have a normal relationship. You weren’t meant to have the love story your favorite movies portraited, the white picket fence and the family of five wasn’t in your future.

Neither was he, maybe in the forties he would’ve came home from war and found himself a pretty girl to marry. But now, after everything he had seen and everything he had unwillingly done, he probably wouldn't want a relationship any time soon. Or maybe not at all.

But after three weeks of being cramped up in the same little apartment, you were getting used to him. You had developed a little routine together that always ended up with a cup of coffee at the end of the day. Sometimes both of you would just sit in silence, taking in each other's company while you sipped on your cups. Other times, just like now, he would sit next to you as you watched whatever movie you had decided to put on.

You had to cut this at the root before it became too hard to let go.

"So, you’re going to Wakanda?"

He sighs. "Yeah. Steve says they have someone that might be able to help with... help with my..."

"I know." You finished for him, suddenly placing your hand on top of his. He tensed at your touch, both of you looking down at your hands before you took away yours, embarrassed at your own lack of control. "Well, if you’re not too busy there, I could go visit you sometimes."

"You would?" he questioned.

"If you want me, too," you shrugged, trying not to reveal your excitement.

He looked at you, his thoughts unreadable through his face. For a moment, you thought he was going to reject your offer, but something changed in his eyes. He smiled, the faintest, littlest hint of a smile you had seen, but it was there.

You made him smile for the first time.

"Yeah. I’d like that."

If someone were to ask Bucky when he first felt he could love you, it would be right now. With the dim light of the TV lighting up your face and a shy smile on your lips as you told him you were willing to travel such a long distance just to see him.

And as you lay next to him, your head against his shoulder, you thought to yourself that maybe you could be selfish for once and allow yourself to enjoy his company a bit more.

Now

There were drops of water leaking out of a pipe, he could hear them from the other side of the room. Everything around him was dark, it seemed the only source of light was on top of him and the woman on the floor pleading for her life.

"Please don’t do this," she begged with a Spanish accent. "I don’t want to die, please."

He wanted to move, he wanted to throw away the gun in his hand, but it was like he was a spectator of his own life. His body was not his, or his breathing. Not even his heartbeat listened to the inner panic attack he was having. Nothing belonged to him.

"Kill her," a distorted voice told him. His eyes glanced at him quickly, and he noticed the man had no face. No one around them had one.

Everything felt like it was in slow motion. His finger moved, pressing the trigger of the gun, but he refused to give up. He had to try, even if his own consciousness was trying to kick him out, sucking him into the pool of darkness he had been resting in for a long time.

But even if he tried for years, he couldn’t win. He was powerless.

Broken.

He could only witness how the other "him" obeyed. The woman's eyes changed from scared to lifeless in less than a second. A splash of crimson staining his combat boots kept his attention. He couldn’t hear what the other people in the room were saying, he didn’t exist anymore, or he didn’t want to. The sound of the water leak was deafening now. Growing louder and louder until it consumed everything around him

He didn’t want to be awake. Not like this.

And as he felt himself disappearing, he hoped this was the last time he came back to the surface. He would rather be surrounded by emptiness.

Yet something interrupted him, pulling him back up.

A woman's voice, so familiar it made his heartbeat change.

"Bucky!"

Bucky's eyes opened wide. His head was spinning, his breathing was rapid, and his heart felt like it was going to burst through his chest. The adrenaline in his system made him dizzy, and he could feel his hands shaking. And he was feeling. A lot. Scared, angry, hopeless. So many emotions constricted his chest, burying him under their weight.

"Bucky," you repeated. His head snapped at you, showing you a pair of wide, terrified eyes.

Your feet almost moved. A pure protective instinct filled you with dread at the fact that you couldn’t help him anymore. Your head and your heart were in conflict. In one hand your heart begged you to go to him, stroke his back as you peppered kisses along his shoulder. Then you would lie back in bed while your hands surrounded his body, your front pressed to his back in a way to say, I’m here, I love you, and everything will be alright.

On the other hand, your brain told you to turn in the other direction. Walk away from the night terrors that plagued his mind and let him suffer in silence. He wasn't your responsibility anymore, and you shouldn't be concerned about helping him with whatever was wrong with him.

Was it possible to hate and care about someone at the same time?

"Nightmares?" you couldn’t help yourself from asking.

His left hand rubbed his eyes, a sigh leaving his lips. "Yeah. Sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn’t."

You sat at the table in front of the couch he was lying on, a steaming cup of lavender tea between your hands. The cling of the spoon clashing against the ceramic filled the uncomfortable silence between you.

"Where’s Sam?" he asked, sitting straight as a couple of droplets of sweat fell down his forehead.

"He has a contact in the city. He left to meet them."

"Oh."

Whatever else he was about to say died on his lips. You noticed he seemed to do that often since meeting again, his eyes speaking the words he would never say. Sometimes you would catch him looking at you, the frown on his forehead deepening with the passing of time. It made you wonder if he would now be open to answering your questions.

"He said you’re going to therapy."

He was taken aback by your question. It probably was the first time you said more than the necessary to him. Also, it was the first time that you showed any sort of interest in his life.

"Uh, yeah. Court mandated."

You hummed, sipping on your tea.

"Does it work?"

You saw the hesitance in his eyes. The way his jaw clenched and his grip on the couch made his knuckles white made you think he was about to change the subject with a witty, bitter, or sarcastic remark, or maybe even just ignore the question at all. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did, by the end of your relationship, he was an expert in it.

Bucky didn’t change much after all, you thought to yourself

But he broke the silence.

"In some ways." he started, his gaze dropping to the floor. "The nightmares don’t come as often anymore, and I don’t feel the need to shoot every asshole that drives a shitty car with a shitty exhaust pipe." You chuckled at his confession, making a slight smirk show on his face. "But she’s too much."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "She pisses me off. I hate that she keeps trying to make me feel better by just saying my life is better now and I shouldn’t feel like shit anymore. But it’s not that easy. Just like it’s not easy to follow the stupid set of rules she gave me."

He looked up to see your reaction to his words, expecting to see the same hardened look you’ve given him the past couple of weeks. And it was just that what greeted his eyes, your lips slightly pressed together and your eyes decorated with a slight scowl that only showed up for him.

But behind the tough exterior, he could see your eyes had softened. For a brief second, your eyes showed care and understanding to what he siad before going back to the usual void stare you gave him.

"She sounds like a bad therapist." He shrugged in agreement, he couldn’t say anything against the truth. "She also sounds like a bitch."

He laughed. The type of laugh that caught him off guard and made his lungs run out of air. Granted, your joke might’ve not been as funny as his laugh was giving it credit for, but he had always been fond of your bluntness.

You couldn’t help but laugh with him too.

Laughing with Bucky felt foreign yet so familiar at the same time. It felt like reminiscing on a memory you didn’t remember you had, a bittersweet memory that brought back the same good feeling of the memories you built together

But moments like that couldn’t last forever. Your heart couldn’t afford to remember.

A text message from Sam lit up your screen, saying his contact had useful information. You stood up from the table after texting him back and drank the rest of the cup's contents.

"You should try to get some sleep, we have a long day ahead."

His shoulders dropped slightly.

"Yeah, you’re right. I’ll try to."

With nothing left to say, you walked away, leaving Bucky in the loneliness of the night.

You didn’t go right away to the room you had adopted as your own, though. He heard you going through the kitchen, a dim sound of clinking and pouring reaching him due to his enhanced hearing. He didn't think anything of it; maybe you needed more tea before going to bed.

Your steps brought you back to him before you placed an object on the coffee table right beside him.

A cup of lavender tea.

Then

"It’s kinda late to be outside, huh?"

Bucky jolted at the sound of your voice, your presence taking him by surprise. He was completely sure that when he left a couple of hours ago his house was empty and you hadn’t sent a message of your arrival.

Something had happened? Was someone injured? Were you in trouble?

His questions died on his lips as you cut the space between you and him short, your arms tightly embracing him. Your head found its place in the crook of his neck, his long hair falling on your face. His hands took a second to respond, but they eventually wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer to his chest.

You stayed like that for what felt like ages, just taking in each other's warmth. He missed you, even if he tried to deny it every time his thoughts would wander to you. He tried to convince himself that his reclusion made him miss everyone he considered a friend, and in a world where everyone seemed to want him dead, you were one of the few people he trusted.

He had been staying in Wakanda for nearly six months, and out of those six months, you had visited him at least once every month. The duration of your trip would vary, sometimes you would stay only a few hours, with most of your time spent in his hut while sharing stories of the outside and his progress. Other times, you'd stay for days, with the longest stay being a week and a half. In those cases, he would show you the surroundings, the forest that surrounded the back of his hut or take you on a long walk alongside the river that crossed his home. Sometimes you'd sit outside and stare at the stars, your only company being the animals and the flora.

He also came to hate every time you would leave, feeling like a part of himself was leaving with you.

One of his hands landed on the side of your hips, the other searching for your face.Your grip on him grew tighter once his fingers brushed the skin on your face but you eventually let go, allowing his hand to guide you slightly away from him.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You didn’t respond, but one look into your eyes, and he knew the answer. Whatever it was, it had affected you to the core, the broken look in your eyes could only be compared to the one he saw every time he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

His forehead rested on yours, both your eyes closing at the contact.

"It’s ok. I got you."

His hand found yours as he guided you toward his bed. It wasn’t until then that he noticed you still had your tactical gear on, dirt and crystals still hiding in some places. He grabbed the buckle of your vest, his eyes asking for permission to get it off. A slight nod gave him the confirmation, beginning the process of somewhat freeing you of the events you had seen. He got rid of his own garments too, leaving you both standing in front of yourselves with only underwear covering you. He dragged you into bed, your frames covered by the light white sheets on his bed.

Not many times had he allowed himself to think of you in a sexual manner, knowing how his body would react in a lustful way. But as he found himself looking at you with barely any clothes on, the desire was left on the back burner of his brain. You needed him. You needed his comfort, and he was more than willing to give it to you.

He would give you anything you asked for.

His hand rested on your face, tracing circles across your cheek, your eyes closed at the soothing action.

"I’m sorry." Your voice trembled. He could see you wanted to say more, but words failed to come out of your mouth

Bucky’s heart ached. He had never seen you in such a vulnerable state, and his mind was going cray at the thought of not being able to do anything to help you.

"It’s ok, sunshine. You don’t have to talk about it."

So you lay there, head against his chest, as he kept you between his arms, with nothing other than the sound of the crickets outside his hut surrounding you. And for the first time in a long time, you felt what being loved felt like.

That night, you kissed him for the first time. You didn’t stop, not even the next morning when he woke you up with breakfast already made and a cup of lavender tea.

Now

"Bring him to the table!" you yelled.

Your hand swept across the surface, knocking over every piece of paper, pencil, and piece of equipment. The vibrations of the heavier objects on the concrete floors matched the beating of your heart.

Bucky dropped Sam on the table. The man had gone unconscious on the ride to the safe house, the bullet wound that oozed liquid crimson was most likely the cause.The same crimson color now stains Bucky's clothes, and his leather gloves were also covered in a thin layer of it.

You brought your knife to slash through his clothes, the sharp metal cutting through them as if they were butter. The hole on his shoulder seemed to have no exit, the bullet was still inside him. You were glad Sam wasn’t conscious for the next hour.

The super soldier hovered over you for the entirety of the time you spent cleaning through the fragments that splintered from the bullet. Everything went relatively well until Sam started waking up, his body contorting in pain as you dug through his wound. Bucky brought him a bottle of vodka while you injected him with some local anesthesia.

Hours later, the wounded man was now resting on the only bed the safehouse had, his breathing bringing great comfort as it meant he was still alive. After half a bottle of vodka and a some painkillers diluted on his IV, you were sure he wouldn’t wake up until tomorrow.

The faucet sprayed cold water onto your palms. Your nails desperately tried to scrape away the traces of blood that still lingered in your skin, leaving red marks all across your knuckles. Dirt and dried blood were trapped underneath your fingernails, and no matter how much you tried to dig it out, it would stay right there.

Bucky’s footsteps brought you out of your trance, the heavy sound of his combat boots felt deafening with each step he took. You tried to tune him out, focusing once again on the sound of water, but it seemed as if Bucky had made it his purpose to be as loud as possible. You held onto the sink so strongly that you were sure it would snap.

A deep rage came from your stomach, spreading all over your body. The anger constricted your chest in such a way that you weren’t sure if somehow you were buried under a collapsed building, its weight invisibly crushing you.

It was his fault. It was all his fault.

You didn’t remember walking outside the bathroom, nor did you remember walking up to him and slapping away the cup of water his hand held.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" you barked at him.

"I—"

"I gave you one task. You had to wait until I gave you the signal so you could come in. Not guns blazing, not punching everyone that comes your way, not drawing everyone's attention to us. Your only fucking job was to wait for the distributor to show up and wait for my goddamn signal."

"What did you want me to do? Just stand there and do nothing?" he argued.

You were taken aback by his response. Part of you expected him to just let you scream at him and give you the same soft eyes he always gave you when you spoke to him.You weren't expecting him to snap back at you or to defend himself.

Maybe if things hadn’t gone sour between you two, you would’ve listened to what he said, and in return, he would’ve listened to you. But the anger was too strong to be subdued.

"I wanted you to follow the fucking plan."

"He was about to torture you!"

Bucky's thoughts returned to the old factory turned whorehouse.The way you had purposefully gotten caught and how they had tied you to an exposed pipe line. He could still hear the sound of the man’s hand smashing against your cheek.

"I can handle myself! I told you guys to stay put until the distributor was there. He knows I’m after him, and this was our only chance to catch him. And now he’s god knows where and Sam got fucking shot."

A heartbeat passed before Bucky came close to your face. His big frame towered over you, and his breathing hit your face.

"You’re fucking delusional if you think I was just going to let anything happen to you."

You scoffed, "Oh, so now you care?"

"I’ve always cared."

You pulled away from him, your eyes rolling at his pathetic words.

"Sure."

Perhaps it was the fact that you had been in danger no longer than a couple of hours ago, or maybe it was the heat of the fight that had left some residues on him. Whatever it was, it made Bucky courageous enough to reach for your arm.

"Look at me."

You swatted him away.

"Don’t fucking touch me."

But this time he wasn't going down without a fight.Not again.

"I know I was an asshole at the end of our relationship, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you anymore."

A bitter laugh came out of you. All of this had to be some sick joke. "When you care about someone, you don’t treat them like that. You didn’t care about me, and you sure as hell didn’t love me."

His hand tried to touch you again, and this time you let him. You were tired. Tired of fighting with him. You closed your eyes as soon as his skin came in contact with yours, his touch consuming all of your senses.

You opened your eyes to find him staring back at you, the blue eyes that once hurt you shining the same way they did the first time you kissed him.

"I did love you," he whispered into your lips. "I still do."

His words burned you like someone had branded you with hot iron in the chest.Even after all this time, he could still hurt you, Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? Why did he have to bring back the past you so fiercely tried to leave behind?

"Don’t." Your lower lip quivered. "Y-you can't just break my heart and then come back into my life and just say you still love me."

"I never stopped loving you."

Those five words were all it took to tear down what little control you had over yourself. A year ago it would've broken you to hear them but now they only brought a deep sense of indignation.

With a quick move, you pulled his hand away from you, your hands pushing against his chest until he hit the wall. You wanted him to hurt. You wanted to carve his heart out of his ribcage and throw it far away, maybe then he would understand what it felt like.

"Where was your love when I needed it, huh? Where was your love when I had no one else? Where was your love when I reached for you every night but you were already gone? Where was your love when I begged you to love me, to be there for me?" Your hands were clutching his jacket, and your vision was blurred by tears."Where the fuck was your love when you brought that girl to your apartment?"

Bucky never saw you like this, not even when he stomped on your heart with his indifference. Under the anger, the hate, and the surface indifference you showed him, he could see how broken you were. He could see how you were constantly struggling to put the pieces of yourself back together that he had torn apart.

He hated himself for extinguishing parts of you.

"I’m sorry."

A lapse of judgment.

That’s what you would tell anyone who asked you why you kissed Bucky that night. You would say that you had been blinded by the pure rage his mere presence would bring you. Or perhaps you would take the easy route and you would say that with everything that happened that night, almost being tortured and Sam getting hurt, you had acted in a primitive instict of searching comfort.

The truth was different. You could lie to yourself and say that you didn’t needed Bucky, not after all the things he had done. You lied to yourself constantly when you told yourself you were over him. You also lied to yourself when you claimed that your one-night stands had fulfilled you in the same way that Bucky had.

You couldn’t feel anything, not ever since you walked out of his apartment. You had tried different people, different cities. You had tried different alcohols and different drugs. You had tried anything that could help you fill the emptiness that had found a permanent home inside you. You felt nothing, not until you saw those cerulean eyes again.

Your kiss was aggressive, your lips smashing against his with strength and your hands finding their place in the back of his head. It took a second for Bucky to kiss you back as he thought his mind was playing tricks with him. But after you pressed yourself against his chest, his body reacted on muscle memory alone, his arms surrounding your waist.

It wasn’t what you expected, though. You thought that the specks of love that remained between you would be enough to bring back whatever it was that you were missing. Instead, you were met with the most intense hatred you've ever felt, mixed with the melancholy of what could've been.

He tasted like the past, but he still hurt like the present.

So you made a decision.If you couldn't bring yourself to love Bucky Barnes anymore, you would hate him with all that remained of your soul. You would hate him until both of you burned in the flames of your agony. You'd despise him until you'd ripped every part that matched the ones he'd so easily broken.

"I hate you," you whispered between kisses. "I fucking hate you."

Your words were daggers to his heart. His chest tightened, and his grip on you faltered for a second before he snapped out of it. This wasn’t about him. If you needed to tell him how much you despised him, he would gladly let you kill him with your words. It was the least you deserved.

"I know," he mumbled against your lips.

He felt your body guiding him through the room until the back of his legs hit against the couch where he would sleep. Your hands pushed against his chest, making him sit on the couch while you straddled his lap.

Clothes flew across the room, and you found yourself tearing his shirt apart in two while he only pulled yours off.You'd worry about that later; right now, nothing was more important than feeling your skin against his.

Your hands traveled over his chest, fingers grazing every part of his abdomen as you trailed down to his zipper. You palmed him over his jeans, his cock already hard, and you felt it twitch against the fabric with every touch you gave him. Groans left Bucky’s lips.

"I hate you," you repeated as a mantra.

He shouldn’t make you feel this way, but as you see his head going back when your hand opened his fly and found it’s place around his cock you felt your own desire pooling in your lower belly and the aching in your core became unbearable.

With swift movements, Bucky got rid of his pants and his underwear while you remained on top of him. With your frame still covered by a black lace bra and your black tactical pants on, he couldn't help but feel exposed when he looked at you.Deciding he didn’t wanted to be the only one naked his hands went to the side of your hips in efforts to get you rid of the fabric but your hand swatted him away.

Beg me, your eyes said.

For a moment, he considered tearing your pants apart the same way you had done with his shirt. However, the seriousness behind your eyes warned him that he might end things too soon if his stubbornness got in the way. So he gave in.

"Please, Sunshine." His hands gripped your waist, his hips grinding against your still-wrapped core, sending shivers down your spine."Please, let me see you."

You relented, unbuttoning your pants and throwing them away with your panties. In what were the longest seconds of Bucky’s life, you unclasped your bra, finally getting rid of the last barrier your body held on to.

You stood there, completely naked, staring at Bucky.He remembered the way your breasts felt when he held them. He remembered how soft your skin was. He remembered that if he bit on the skin of your neck, right where the jugular is, you would clench around him. He remembered. In the lonely nights when he needed some release, he would close his eyes and imagine your lips around his cock as he fisted himself in the solitude of his apartment.

All those memories didn’t compare to watching you in the flesh, with hungry, hateful eyes on him as you walked back to straddle him again.

His cock twitched once your legs fell to his sides, the heat of your body settling on his crotch. You sat on top of him, your wetness welcoming him once you lowered yourself. His length placed itself right between your lips, and a groan left him.

"Fuck."

Your hips began rocking in slow but sharp motions as he felt his cock coated with your slick. Slowly, you built up a rhythm that made both of you moan. His hands landed again on your hips, his fingers pressing on your skin in a way that was certain to leave bruises the next day. Your own hands gripped on Bucky’s biceps for stability, and you squeezed them every time you would feel him brushing against your clit.

You felt amazing on top of him, but that wasn’t what made his heart pound against his chest.

It was your eyes. Your eyes never left him, no matter how much pleasure you were pulling from both of you and how badly you wanted to roll your eyes as the coil inside of you tightened. Your eyes, which once showed him what love could look like, now looked at him with a simmering hatred he could not shake.

His chest tightened at the thought of never seeing them again. The electricity that ran through his body was replaced by a deep sense of hopelessness, and the more he kept his gaze on you, the more it amplified. You must’ve sensed the change in him because your movements stopped.

Broken eyes now stared at you with the ghost of tears in them. The anger that had driven your actions and your thoughts through all this had now subsided, allowing itself to mix with melancholy.

I love you. I’m sorry. I miss you. His eyes said.

I hate you. I’ll never forgive you. I wish I never met you. Yours answered.

And in the middle of the lust that was taking place right on the couch, both of your hearts broke again.

You pulled him back for a kiss that tasted of desperation and sorrow as tears fell from both your eyes. The saltiness of the tears bled into the kiss and mixed with it.Quickly, your hand guided his tip to your entrance. You needed him inside you like a person lost in the desert needs water. You craved him with every cell in your body, and it tore your heart apart.

"So tight." He moaned in your mouth as you sank into him.

The stretch of his length burned as you forced yourself to take him fully. It hurt, and even with your arousal completely covering him, you weren't prepared to take his thick length.You didn’t care though, you hoped it would make you forget your heartbreak. Bucky tried to stop you as he felt you struggling to take him in. His hands held your waist, but you shook your head before you started bouncing on him.

You didn’t want love from him. You didn’t want tenderness or care. You wanted roughness. You wanted strength and aggressiveness until the only thing you could feel was the ache between your legs.

The super soldier gave you what you wanted.

Bucky’s pace was brutal, his cock hitting the sweet spot only he could reach. The sound of his hips colliding with yours filled the room, bouncing off the walls and echoing through the hallway outside.In the back of his mind, Bucky was thankful Sam was knocked out with meds so he could be spared from the obscene orchestra your bodies played.

The pain quickly turned into pleasure. Your walls hugged him tightly, each thrust carried a strength that left you breathless. At some point your legs had given in, the only reason why you kept bouncing was the snap of his hips pushing you. He didn’t let go of you though, instead he pushed you against his chest in an embrace that surrounded you tightly.

Your head rested against his while your hands stayed on his chest. The sadness that mixed with the pleasure numbed everything else except for the bubbling up of your release. It pained you to admit that no one else could make you feel like Bucky, you had tried to find someone who could replicate what his touch could do for you, but no one ever came close.

You hated how much you missed him and how much you needed him.

"I wish you would’ve stayed dead." you panted. The poison behind your words shredded his heart. He knew you were saying it to hurt him, he knew you didn’t mean it, but the conviction behind it felt like a kick in the chest. "I wish we never brought you back."

"Me too." he finally admitted.

Bucky felt your walls constrict around him, and he could tell you were close. He drew you in for one last kiss, the kind that took your breath away. The type of kiss that was a solace in a world of agony. The type of kiss that meant a promise that carried forever.

You tightened around him as you came, and his thrusts slowed down as he rode you through your high. As you closed your eyes, more tears fell from the corners, so he reached out to wipe them away.Once you had recovered a little, his brutal pace came back, this time chasing his own release. You brought your lips to kiss his neck, feathery, soft kisses, and he felt his balls tightening. He was so close.

He tried to pull out so he could fist himself to the end but you didn’t budge, instead whispering in his ear.

"Inside."

He came harder than he had done in the last year. You felt his cock twitching inside as he covered your walls with his cum, the mess between your release and his own dripping out of you. You kept bouncing on top of him, making sure to return the favor by guiding him all the way through the end.

You stood up, the feeling of emptiness making you shudder when his cock left you, and his cum started leaking out of you. You turned to go find something to clean yourself up, but his metal hand stopped you. He guided you back to the couch before he walked towards the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came back with a towel, and he positioned himself right between your legs.

He cleaned you up just like he had done for so many years before.His other hand caressed your thigh as he made sure to wipe everything. And just as he always did for years, once he finished, he kissed your inner thigh, a couple of inches away from your pussy.

Bucky threw the towel to the floor, he would worry about it in the morning.As for right now, the only thing he wanted was to hold you close. So he did. He thanked the couch was big enough to fit you both as you layed together. He pulled the blanket he used to warm himself every night over you, and his arm surrounded your waist, his grip making your back settle against his front. His left hand traced lazy circles over your stomach while the other was used as your pillow.

For a few seconds, both of you allowed yourselves to reminisce in the past. He kissed the top of your head as you snuggled against him like you usually did. And as you felt his warmth behind you and inhaled his scent, everything seemed to be alright once again.

Except they weren’t. Bucky wasn’t the man who made you feel secure anymore, and you weren’t the woman who trusted him with all her heart. Both of them belonged to the past.

"I don’t love you anymore. I will never love you again." you broke the silence.

Bucky held you tighter as his heart broke once again.

"I don’t deserve your love." He whispered. "But I’ll still love you forever."

Then

Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy.

It wasn’t all bad, though. For many years you had been together, three and a half to be exact, where you could imagine a life with. Three years where there was no one you trusted more or preferred to be with.Three years that were the happiest of your life.

Those were a few of the reasons why he had asked you to marry him. And those were also a few of the reasons why you had said yes.

You had told yourself at the beginning that you couldn’t get attached to him for the safety of your heart. It didn’t matter that his touch felt like home or that during the times you spent apart, his eyes would be the only comfort you would find in your dreams. He would bring more heartbreak than love.

Oh, how right you had been.

Unfortunately for you, the heartbreak would come in a way you couldn’t have prevented.

The snap came and took him away from you. One second he was standing next to you, the next he was turning into dust that flew into the wind. The last thing he had said was your name and after that half the population was gone.

The years went by in a blur. Between nights filled with drugs and alcohol and days spent cramped up in your apartment, you were wallowing in the type of sadness that the rest of the population could understand. You kept your ring in your finger, it reminding you that what your memories craved for were real.

Bucky had been real.

With his departure, he had also taken your heart.

After a particularly bad night where you crashed your vehicle into a contention bar, Tony had taken it upon himself to help you, offering you a home close to his secluded one. You took it, not because you wanted to get better but because you wanted solitude. But if life had taught you anything about Tony Stark, it was that he was as stubborn as they come.

Every morning he would bring you breakfast along with a visit from a certain little baby that always wanted to be held by you, and sometimes she would be able to bring a small smile to your face. With time, the little baby turned into a little girl that would ask for a sleepover every once in a while, and you would gladly accept the offer to allow Tony and Pepper a night alone.

Things got better. You visited Steve and Natasha at the compound and even allowed yourself to go in missions of your own, as it turned out not even The Snap could make criminals take a break. You even went to one of Steve’s depressing support group meetings, never returning for the next one.

You couldn’t be strong all the time, though. Some nights, when the pain was so strong that it drowned you and the grief was too powerful to keep at bay, you would find yourself staring at the hundreds of pictures you had taken of him. Most of them were of you together, but there were a few you took when he wasn’t looking. The sunset behind him as he breathed in the clean air of Wakanda, or the small smile on his face as he tasted the food he cooked for you both.Even when he was reading some of the books he kept under his bed and a few wrinkles would show on his forehead as his whole focus remained in the text, he always looked beautiful.

With time, everything felt like a routine. Waking up alone, eating alone, going outside alone. Sleeping alone. Everything seemed to be stable, not good or bad, but just stable. You were sure this was the best you could do, or at least the best it could get.

That is, until a ray of hope appeared.

Time travel was the answer. Taken as a whole, it seemed like something out of a science fiction film, but it made sense.Bring the stones back and along with them everyone that had died. Surprisingly, it had worked, everyone that had been snapped away came back just as they had left. It should have been a moment of joy. It should've.

The thing about hope is that it comes with a price. Natasha and Tony were the price to pay.

Steve left shortly after.

You understood him. You understood why he left everything and everyone behind to go live a life with the woman he had always loved. You would be a liar if you said you wouldn’t have done the same if you were in his position. You understood why he did it but it still hurt to know you weren’t enough of a reason to stay and live a life together.

It seemed like you were on a streak of losing people. Wherever you turned, more people kept leaving your life. Wanda was gone, turned into the madness that grief could bring. Thor left to save other planets that needed him. Bruce... well, you weren’t sure where Bruce was, but he didn’t try to contact you.

Everyone was gone but Sam and Bucky.

Bucky. Your Bucky. The man you had spent the past five years crying for. The man who made you the happiest you'd ever felt.The man who felt like home.

But he wasn't your Bucky any longer.

This Bucky didn’t kiss you with the same tenderness he did so many years ago. Instead, he'd barely move his lips once yours touched his in what you'd call a mediocre peck.He also never initiated a kiss, it was you who always reached out for him.

This Bucky didn’t held you at night. Instead, he'd turn around, his back to you, and even if you reached for him between dreams, he'd guide your hand back to your side of the bed.Some nights, he would even choose to sleep on the floor of the living room when he thought you were asleep. It was as if the thought of touching you seemed appalling to him.

This Bucky never hugged you.

This Bucky never talked to you with love only with annoyance and indifference.

This Bucky never woke you up with breakfast.

This Bucky never tried to sleep with you.

This Bucky never said I love you.

Because this Bucky didn’t love you.

But you held hope, foolishly. Every day you tried to talk to him, show him in every possible way that you were still here with him. Every day you tried to make things better between you, you poured your heart and soul to try to fix what you didn’t even know was broken.

Things got worse a couple of months later.

As it turned out, time had taken a toll on Steve’s body, and one night he went to bed and never woke up. You found it a bit ironic the man out of time had finally run out of time.

His funeral was held on a sunny spring afternoon. People from all over the world showed up to say their final goodbyes to the man who had saved the world so many times. Friends, people he had saved, and heroes paid their respects to him. The first super soldier had finally been put to rest.

After everyone had cleared out, you went back to drop one last token for his departure. It was a picture of the both of you. Steve’s arm hung over your shoulders while both of you held a couple of beers. It had been the first time you had seen Steve outside of work related situations. That was the beginning of your friendship.

As you got back to his tombstone, you saw Bucky standing in front of it. His eyes were void of any expression, and he didn’t seem to be talking to Steve’s grave either. Bucky was just there, staring at the place where his best friend was buried.

He didn’t seem to notice when you stood next to him, nothing in his body gave any signs of acknowledgement. You gave him a couple of minutes before you reached for his hand. You knew that, even if he didn’t show it, he was in great pain. He had lost his last connection to the life he had once lived.

You wanted to be there to help him through his pain.

The contact only lasted a few seconds. Your touch surprised him, as he had jolted once your skin grazed his own. He turned his head to the side to give you a glare that you’ve never seen before. His eyes had been filled with pain, as you guessed, but they also carried hatred and disdain. He must’ve seen your expression, because a second later his eyes changed to a neutral expression.

"What are you doing here?" he muttered.

The shock of his stare lingered in you for a moment, but you quickly returned to yourself, a friendly smile on your face."I came to leave a little parting gift."

He hummed in acknowledgement, not sparing another glance at you as you put the photograph against the headstone, right in between the dozens of flowers that decorated it. Both of you stayed silent after that, the sounds of the birds and the faint rumbling of cars were the only sounds keeping you company. It was peaceful. It was good. Just the two of you enjoying a moment's calmness in silence.

For a few moments, you felt comfortable next to him. The first time in months since he came back. But good moments like that never lasted long.

Without notice, he turned around. Long, desperate strides guided him towards the exit of the graveyard. He wanted to create distance between you and him, find somewhere that was as far away from you as he could be. You felt how you were losing him.

But you fought for him, even when he seemed to not deserve it.

"Bucky." You called for him. He stopped in his tracks, but he didn’t turn around, so you took that as a sign to keep going. "I know you’re hurting right now, I am too, but I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you."

He didn’t answer for a few seconds, and you thought you had made a breakthrough. Maybe this was the time when things went uphill. This was the little push he needed to start healing and perhaps to try to rebuild the bridges that had burned. This was the little thread of hope you'd hung up on.

You were wrong.

"You have no idea how I feel," he said before leaving.

That night you came back to your cabin, and Bucky’s things were gone. The only thing left was a note that rested in the middle of the bed.

I found an apartment in the city. I need space.

You didn’t see him for a couple of months after that. You considered tracking him down but ultimately gave up as he had asked for space. He needed time on his own, and you could give it to him. You would give him anything he asked for.

You kept your word until Strange came to visit you, announcing news about Wanda. She was dead.

You barely remembered tracking down his address or making your way there. It wasn’t until you were facing his door that you realized what you had done. He asked for space but in that moment, you couldn’t give it to him. You needed your Bucky.

Knock, knock, knock.

It was late in the night, and you could hear the TV going on in the living room. He had to be home. After a few minutes without an answer, you knocked again, but the only thing that welcomed you was silence.

"Bucky," you called. Your voice was broken, you tried to fight the tears away, but saying his name broke what little self-control you had left. "Please open the door."

You rested your forehead against the door, finally allowing yourself to feel everything you had been pushing back ever since the fight with Thanos. Pain, grief, loneliness, hatred, sadness, despair. A cocktail of emotions ran through you in an overwhelming way and seemed to want to drown you.

"I know you’re in there." You cried. The tears that ran down your face landed on the floor. "I just— I know I said I could be strong for the both of us, but... I need you."

You knocked on the door again, this time with the side of your fist. The desperate sound of your knocking bounced through the walls of the deserted hallway.

"Please Bucky, please open the door. Wanda is dead." Your own cries stopped you from talking, the hole in your chest seemed to get bigger and bigger with each passing second. "Nat, Tony, Steve, Wanda. All of them are dead, and I—I can’t. I can’t keep losing people. I can’t lose you."

You couldn’t do this alone, not anymore. Your heart couldn’t take it anymore.

"I love you. God, I love you so much. I know you want space, but right now I need your love, Bucky. I need you to love me like you used to. Please love me." You begged.

And you waited. You waited for what seemed like hours, but it probably was just thirty minutes until you accepted he wasn’t coming out.

You left with half a heart that night.

Two weeks later, you came back to his apartment, ready to demand an explanation. Your love for him was strong, but you needed him to talk to you. You were ready to fight for your future. You were ready to fight for your love.

"Bucky!" you yelled as you knocked aggressively. "Bucky, open the fucking door!"

The door didn’t take long to open. It surprised you, your confidence and anger faltered for a second. This was a sign, perhaps it was him being ready to fight for you too. This was him showing you he still loved you.

Except the person who opened the door wasn’t Bucky.

It was a girl. A short brunette that was covered by Bucky’s black T-shirt and nothing more.

"Hi."

You wanted to scream. You wanted to burst into tears. You wanted to burn the world and leave everything behind. You wanted to die. But the only thing you could do was stay there and stare at the girl.

"Umm, Bucky is not here." She said awkwardly, your intense stared made her uncomfortable.

"Do you know where he is?" You questioned her. The words came out rougher than you intended, but as the heartbreak and despair set in, you couldn't care less.

"No. I, um, when I woke up he was already gone." She pulled the hem of the t-shirt down in an effort to convey her nervousness, but it only infuriated you more. "Are you a friend of his?"

You wanted to laugh. God, this couldn’t be happening.

"Yeah, of sorts."

"I can let you in so we can wait for him, but I have to leave in like twenty minutes."

"You can’t call him?" you asked, bitterly. You knew Bucky had gotten a new phone but he never gave you his number.

Her face blushed before she answered. "No, uh. We met last night, and he didn’t give me his number.

"Oh."

You didn’t know what would be worse, if he had seen this girl ever since he left your cabin or the fact that he had a one night stand with a random girl. It didn’t matter, though, Bucky Barnes had crushed your heart.

The girl, whose name was Clara, kept her word, leaving minutes later as she had to go to work. She seemed like a nice girl who had no idea the man she had slept with was engaged. And perhaps in another world you would’ve been nicer to her if your heart hadn’t collapsed in on itself when she opened the door. Maybe she was a little naïve, as she let you stay inside the apartment so you could wait on Bucky. She had also asked you to give him her number, the digits scribbled on a piece of paper.

You broke down the moment she closed the door behind her. You thought of trashing the place, breaking every piece of furniture he owned, and burning all his clothes in a pit in the middle of his living room. You imagined yourself hurling the stupid leather jacket he seemed to be fond of lately.You also thought about settling for burning everything to the crisp, wanting to see the look on his eyes once he saw his apartment consumed by flames.

You didn’t do any of those things, though; instead, you waited. This time, hours actually went by, the once bright morning turned into the darkness of the night, and you never moved from your spot on the couch, not even to turn on the lights.

Bucky came back to his apartment around 11 p.m. When he noticed the apartments' lack of lightning, he felt relieved not to have to deal with the girl he had taken home the night before. By the looks of it, she left a while ago.

He turned on the light before taking of his jacket, placing it on the coat hanger next to the door.As he walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, he tossed his keys on the counter.He had to change the sheets on his bed and do laundry tomorrow. The glass was half full when a voice behind him spoke.

"You have a nice place here."

The glass dropped from his hands into the kitchen sink. His head snapped quickly towards you, finding you seated in the middle of his couch. He turned off the sink, before making his way toward you. You couldn’t be here, not today of all days.

"How the hell did you get in here?" he barked.

He didn’t mean it like that, not in the way it sounded. He wasn’t angry at you being inside his apartment, he was scared. Scared that you had arrived at the wrong time and seen something you weren’t meant to see.

He finally stood in front of you and saw it. Your nose was slightly puffy and red, like you had been crying for some time. Your shoulders were slumped, defeat washing over your posture. But the thing that hurt the most to see was the pain behind your eyes. It wasn’t the normal type of pain of loss or grief as you had experienced these past months. No, it was something else.

It was the pain of heartbreak and betrayal.

It couldn’t be.

You couldn't have been here when she was still in his house. There was no way, life could not hate him this way. It had to be something else that broke your heart, he had hurt you many times this past couple of months, and today was probably the day it all crashed down. It had to be that.

"Clara let me in."

No.

"Nice girl, she left her number for you."

You knew, you had seen the girl who was apparently named Clara, he didn’t really remember it. Bucky knew he had to do something, anything that could save your relationship. Perhaps if he begged you not to leave him, to let him explain everything that had been going on with him, and if he spent the rest of his days making it up to you, then you would stay. Maybe you could forgive him.

He didn’t do any of that, though. The same thoughtless attitude washed over him like it had done ever since he came back. It was as if his brain forced him to act this way in order to protect his own heart in the long run.

Instead of doing everything he could to fix this, he shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.

"How long?" you asked. Bucky could see your eyes watering as you tried to keep yourself together. He hated himself. "How long have you been cheating on me?"

His mouth answered without his permission.

"Does it even matter?"

Maybe he was right. Maybe it the answer wouldn’t change the way you were feeling; if anything, it was bound to hurt you more. But a part of you wanted to know the truth, to extinguish the other half of your heart.

You didn’t budge, so Bucky finally answered, not before rolling his eyes. "She’s the only one. I met her yesterday in a bar. "He shrugged. "It just happened."

You knew the answer, yet it still hit you with the force of a thousand bricks. He admitted it. He fucking admitted it and he didn’t even show a single morsel of remorse. There weren't any apologies or begs, no promises, or big romantic and sorrowful speeches. You could feel your own love being smothered, the flames that had once brought so much warmth to your soul were replaced by cold and emptiness.

Bucky Barnes didn’t love you anymore.

Now

Bruises covered your body as well as new injuries that would probably give you more scars. Dirt and blood slid down the drain, exhaustion settling in as your muscles relaxed. The droplets of water fell against your body, washing away everything that had happened today.

You found the intel, you knew every single name of everyone involved with the heinous experiments you were chasing.

You had almost died, one of the guys Bucky and you had cornered, had a bomb attached to his chest. You tried to stop him, your gun pointing at his head, but you were too slow. The explosion shook the entire structure, causing a chain collapse of the floors around you.

Bucky had jumped to protect you, his body acting as a human shield, deflecting some of the impact.His flesh arm had a large metal piece embedded in it, as well as some burns on his back. The explosion had knocked you both out of the air, and the resulting wave had thrown you both across the room.

As you tried to shake away the confusion and the ringing from your ears, you felt his hand find its place along your face and travel to your stomach. As he scanned you, blue eyes looked at you with fogginess but also deep concern.

"You ok?" he had whispered.

You nodded, but your mind was still fuzzy, perhaps you had hit your head, but you couldn’t remember much.

But you remembered the desperation. You remembered everything crumbling apart as you tried to make your way to the exit. You remembered Sam’s voice screaming through your earpieces to get the fuck out of there. You remembered Bucky's hand always keeping you safe, guiding you through the clouds of cement and smoke.

You also remembered how Bucky’s steps faltered before collapsing. Neither of you had noticed he had a second piece of metal scrap buried between his ribs. If he had removed it, his enhanced healing would have taken care of it, but the extenuating movements had caused damage to his lungs, bleeding, and a lack of oxygen, causing him to pass out.

You remembered screaming for Sam’s help, begging him to help you save Bucky. You remembered the tears falling from your eyes as you tried to pull Bucky to safety, begging him not to die, begging him to wake up. You remembered the fire catching up to you, it’s warmth burning your skin. You wanted to kill Bucky, you would be happy if you never seen his face again, dance on top of his grave as you celebrated the end of his existance.

Then why were you fighting so hard to save him?

"Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. You can’t do this to me!"

"Bucky wake the fuck up!"

"Please! I can’t lose you like this!"

Fortunately, Sam came for you, him and all his Captain America glory had saved both of you, his wings protecting all three of you as you carried Bucky outside. You had barely gone a few steps ahead when the building finally set one last explosion, ending with everything on it's way.All three of you landed on the floor with a thud as the shock wave reached you.

You focused your attention on Bucky's wound, which was already healing, but his lack of response worried you.His breathing was barely existent, and his heartbeat was decreasing. You had straddled his lap and began performing CPR on him while asking Sam to go fetch the adrenaline shot you stored in the vehicle. You had punctured Bucky's chest with it, and after a few seconds, he had woken up.

You remembered clinging to him as he tried to sit straight, the desperation finally gone from your body.

The body behind you wrapped his hands along your waist, pulling you out of your memories and spreading the soap he had covered you with. Bucky's fingers traced all the way down your body, removing every trace of stress.

After everything happened, Sam told you to go back to the safehouse while he met with Joaquin to try and start locating people with the intel you had gathered. You thought about fighting him, but one look at Bucky and any fight you had left was done.

A knowing look from Sam told you this wasn’t just to let both of you rest and get cleaned up. It was a second chance. A second chance at the talk you had avoided to had with Bucky ever since that night you slept together.

You drove back to the safehouse, and once you had gotten inside, everything crumbled apart inside of you. As you reached out to Bucky, your tears had fallen, your hand lingering in his fleshy arm, right where his wound was.His hand cupped your face, his thumb tracing the stream of blood that fell from your eyebrow. In the silence of the room, no words were exchanged, but both your hearts understood.

Just for today, you would allow yourselves to comfort each other.

His lips peppered kisses along your shoulder as he cleaned you, his lips sometimes finding your neck or your lips when you would press yourself against him. As you spread the shampoo over his head, your fingers massaged his scalp with the tenderness he had missed, his eyes closing every time you hit the right spot.

After drying yourselves and changing into new clothes, you both layed on the bed, covered over the head with the thin white sheet you had. You faced each other, blue eyes meeting yours. Your fingers found his face as you traced along every crevice and line you hadn’t seen before. Bucky appeared to have aged years in the time you hadn't seen him, but he remained as beautiful as ever.

Your heart ached in your chest, and you couldn’t fight it anymore. You had denied yourself the other feelings that remained inside of you other than hate and betrayal, but today, as death seemed to call for both of you, it was clear you didn’t want Bucky Barnes to die. A part of you hated him so deeply you weren’t sure you would be able to stop, but no matter how strong the hatred was, you were sure a part of you still loved him.

However, that part of you was broken. Battered and bruised to death by his own doing but it was still there. It was locked inside the thousand-foot wall you had built around it to keep it safe. Refusing to ask questions, refusing to talk to him, and refusing to admit the pain you were in. But in doing so you hadn’t given yourself the opportunity to heal. To move on.

So you allowed yourself to feel and to talk. For both your sake and his.

"Why did you do it?" you broke the silence. His breathing faltered as your hand retracted back to your side. "Why did you hurt me like that?"

Bucky struggled to find the right words. You were asking him the same question he had asked himself for many, many nights. He asked himself that question when he wouldn’t reach for you at night. He asked himself that question when he didn’t open the door for you.

He asked himself that question when you walked out of his life.

You deserved the truth. The whole, unapologetic, heartfelt truth. So he gave it to you.

"The first time I came back to myself, after fighting Steve in the helicarrier, I realized the world had moved on without me. My plans, my family, and the people I knew were all left in the past. They all moved on without me, everyone was gone except for Steve. I had a plan, after the war I would go back and find myself a beautiful girl to marry." A sad smile posed on his lips as he reminisced. "I wanted the white picket fence and three kids package. Cookouts with my family and friends while I was still a war hero. But all of that was gone the moment I woke up in a time that wasn’t mine. My dreams were gone."

He paused before reaching for your face, his eyes closing before opening again, tears streaming down his cheeks."Ever since I woke up, I was a man drifting in a time that wasn’t mine, in a life that wasn’t mine. I didn’t have any dreams, or aspirations other than to survive and perhaps discover the truth. Nothing made sense to me, not until I met you." His thumb wiped away the tears you didn’t know they were falling. "You were the very first person, aside from Steve, that was kind to me. You talked to me, listened to what I had to say. You showed me what this new world was about, how to survive in it, and above all, you never doubted my innocence. It wasn’t because you knew me like Steve did, or because he had asked you as a favor. You were my friend, the very first I made when I was lost. And along the way, you turned into more, you were my new dream. I fell in love with you, and suddenly it didn’t matter that I wasn’t supposed to be here, or what it could’ve been because with you, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere."

A sob escaped you, his words burning your heart, branding them with the love you once felt for him. The heartbreak and the pain came once again, but it felt different. It was comforting in a way that scared you, terrified you. You knew he had loved you once, but you had stored those memories far away where they couldn’t hurt you. Because it was easier to tell yourself that Bucky had never actually loved you than to think he had loved you and had still betrayed you.

"But no matter how much time passed or how loved or comfortable I felt, I was still scared. I was terrified. Terrified of the same thing happening again. Every day, I'd tell myself, 'Something is going to happen, something is going to take me away from you, and when I come back, another hundred years will have passed.' And it did happen. When Thanos snapped me away, I came back, and to me only seconds had passed, but for you it was five years. Everything had changed again, even you. There was this sadness that seemed to have nested behind your eyes every time you looked at me. And every time I looked at you, I could see how much you had suffered because of me, it was my fault, and I couldn’t do anything about it."

"It wasn’t your fault." You tried to argue, but his words interrupted you.

"I felt like it was. I felt like I must’ve had some sort of curse that would always take me away from what made me the happiest, and in return, I would hurt everyone around me with it. I had died once again and the world kept going, once again. And I tried really hard to fight those thoughts, but it was as if a cloud of darkness would whisper to me that I didn't belong here anymore.That everything had changed once again, and it would happen again and again and again until I finally died. And I didn't know what to do; it was as if this voice was drowning me, washing away every ounce of happiness I had left inside me until all that remained was anger and resentment."

His voice had broken, as had his ability to hold back the tears.He had buried this for so long, too embarrassed to say them aloud, to admit how he had messed up everything because he was afraid.He wasn’t the man who had sworn to protect you against everything, he was a coward. A coward who had let his own fear hurt you in ways he could never fix.

"I’m sorry. I’m so sorry." Bucky kissed your forehead. "You didn’t deserve any of what I did to you, and I don’t think I could ever forgive myself for doing that. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, I’m sorry I pushed you away when all you did was trying to help me. I’m sorry I slept with someone else. I'm sorry I messed everything up because the truth is, you have been the best thing that has ever happened to me, past and present, and if I had to go through all of the pain, torture, and heartbreak all over again just to meet you, I would."

You stayed there in silence for minutes. Neither of you dared say anything else that would break the silence. Both your hearts had been through a lot today, from the threats of death to the realizations of love and pain that had been confessed. But amongst the suffering and the torment, both of your hearts began to heal, and the pieces that had been ripped apart came back to where they belonged.

You took his hands into yours, your lips kissing his knuckles. "I don’t know if I could ever forgive you for what you did." Bucky’s eyes closed in ache, he knew it was a possibility, but it still hurt to know there was no hope, but your words stopped him from spiraling. "But I would like to try."

Hope. A tiny silver of hope.

"Do you think there is a chance for us in the future?"

You considered it. Your mind and your heart still pulling towards different directions but none of them letting you decide. Would you be willing to risk your heart once again for Bucky Barnes, or has the damage been too great to be fixed and covered? "I don’t know."

"That’s ok. I'm not going to ask about it again unless you want me to."

He kissed you one last time. His lips still had a subtle taste of smoke and burned, but above it was something overpowering, something both of you felt as he deepened the kiss. You both tasted redemption and forgiveness.

Forever

"Thanks for helping me."

"Don’t thank me, I’m only doing it for the beer."

Bucky and you chuckled at his poor attempt at a joke, your footsteps echoing in the half-empty apartment. A couple of seconds later, your mattress landed with a loud thud in your bedroom, making you happy to be finally done. You threw yourself on the bed, Bucky following you close behind, his heaviness bouncing you off. You turned to your side, resting your head on your hand, and he replicated your pose.

It had been a year and a half since you decided to bring Bucky back into your life, and things had changed dramatically since then.You stopped doing solo missions and moved to New York, where you split your time between assisting Sam and Bucky with their shenanigans and volunteering at the woman's shelter Sam had connected you with.

In the beginning, it was difficult to adapt to a tamer lifestyle than the one you had lived in the past year, but listening to all those women, the things they had been through, showed you that sometimes the thing people need to start healing is to have someone along the way.

Bucky and you had become friends, just as you had been when you first met. It took time to get back to the beginning, but soon you found out how much you needed him as a friend, not a lover or a soulmate but just someone with whom you could talk. And, over the course of the many nights you spent talking, forgiveness found its way into your heart.You didn’t forget the past between both of you, but along the way there was understanding and care.

"How was your date?"

You shrug. "It was ok, not that great to be honest."

During this time you had gone on a couple of dates, even went out with a guy for a couple of months, and since you and Bucky were ‘just friends’ you thought it would be uncomfortable to talk to him about them. But he had developed a habit of surprising you, and as it turned out, he was okay with it. When you asked why he was okay with it, his response surprised you.

"I love you, I’ll always love you. But if you need me as a friend and nothing more, then I’ll be your friend."

Your heart was still reluctant about him, after all, pain is a thing you can hardly forget. That had been the reason why you had tried to find someone else. Someone who could make you laugh as hard as he did, someone who could make you blush with just a cocky smile, someone who could calm you down and make everything better by simply holding you close at night.Someone who could make you happy. But all of them failed, because they weren’t Bucky Barnes.

No one ever compared to Bucky Barnes, because after all the lies, heartbreak, and death surrounding you, he was still the only person who felt like home.

Blue eyes stared at you and all you could feel was your heart racing. He was the man you had once loved and he had betrayed you, but time had mended your heart. The part of you that hated him was gone, and instead the love you felt for him came back, maybe not as strong as it once was but it didn’t matter. Your love was willing to build itself up, your love was willing to let him in one last time.

"Ask me" you uttered. Your voice was so quiet that you thought he wouldn't hear you, but his puzzled expression told you otherwise.

"What?"

Your hand grabbed his, your thumb was drawing circles on his skin.

"Bucky, ask me."

Bucky’s heart stopped. A part of him had always told him that you would never want him back, and he couldn't blame you. He had hurt you in so many ways that he could never forgive himself. He had been sure the best he could have from you was friendship, and he had made his peace with it. Having you as only a friend was better than not having you at all.

But you were giving him an opportunity, and he would be damned if he didn’t take it.

"Would you—" he paused, clearing his throat.The nervousness inside him erased his ability to speak. "Would you like to go out for dinner? As in a date?"

You made it seem as if you were thinking about it, but he didn’t worry about it. He knew your answer already.

"Yeah, I guess I can make time for one date."

You smiled. You gave him your biggest, most genuine smile in a long time.He smiled too.

Loving Bucky Barnes hadn’t been easy. But as you both lay in your beds, his hands caressing your face and new hope brewing between you, your heart told you that this time would be different.

He wasn't the same tormented man from another time you'd fallen in love with, and you weren't the same broken but hopeful girl he'd loved with all his heart.You both had hurt each other, but you had also grown, both of you in your own ways, and yet destiny had brought you back together.

This time, neither of you was scared.

This time, loving him would come as easily as breathing.

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bro-atz · 5 months

Note

Are you sure there's not gonna be part 2 for Dancing With The Devil??😭 Because that's the best thing I've ever read I'm not kidding 😭

succumbing to the angel

in which: seonghwa's newest client saved your life because the client has a new target for him.

pair: assassin!seonghwa/afab!reader

word count: 7k

content: angst(?), smut, bedroom sex, suspense, murder, sub!hwa yummy, slightly sadistic (but not really), (light) bdsm, plot twists?, completely consensual (sex)!

author's note: the way my brain exploded coming up w the concept for a pt. 2 like not toot my own horn but i'm a fucking genius— anon you are so so so lucky that my singular brain cell was working the day you sent this HAHA so this part is... this is... well... you'll see. enjoy :-) also do listen to arriba while you read this one

tag list: @k-hotchoisan @eyeryis @sinnarols apply for the permanent taglist here! network: @cromernet part one | part two

“Mr. Kim?”

“Yes. Come with me.”

The two walked to Mr. Kim’s office, the door immediately closing behind them. The two sat on couches opposite each other, eyes locked on one another.

“What can I do for you, Mr. Kim Hongjoong?”

“I need you to kill Mr. Song Mingi.”

Seonghwa exhaled deeply as he leaned back into the couch. He narrowed his eyes and crossed one leg over the other, staring the lawyer in front of him down.

“You want me to kill Mr. Song.”

“That’s right.”

“Is that why you asked me to keep Y/N alive?”

“Correct.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

Gripping the gun, Seonghwa was milliseconds away from pulling the trigger when his phone rang. His tense grip immediately loosened. He looked at your crying face, the phone continuing to ring. Fuck it, he decided he would answer the call then kill you, so he picked it up and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Park Seonghwa?”

“Yes?”

“My name is Kim Hongjoong. You have Attorney Y/N with you right now, don’t you?”

Seonghwa looked at you with a dark glint, making you flinch. You couldn’t tell if he was glaring at you or what, but the look on his face definitely scared the shit out of you.

“…Why are you calling, Mr. Kim?”

“Don’t kill her.”

“What?”

His eyes widened, and the grimace on his face turned into confusion. You, unable to hear the phone call, stared at his changing expression in fear.

“Don’t kill Y/N.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to explain over the phone like this. Meet me at my office tomorrow, and I’ll explain. Just don’t kill her. Please.”

The expression on Seonghwa’s face softened. He looked at you again, but he had returned to the man that had made love to you, not the man that was hired to kill you. Still, you kept your guard up as you watched him set his gun aside and take a step away from you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Kim.”

“Oh, one more thing.”

“What?”

“Report to Mr. Song Mingi that you killed her. I know that he’s the one who hired you to kill her.”

“…Alright.”

“Good. See you tomorrow, Mr. Park.”

Seonghwa hung up and let out a little sigh. He set his phone side before looking at you. Your tears had stopped by that point, but you were still shocked as hell. You remained looking at him with a gaping jaw as he disappeared into the other room. He returned with your clothes and other clothes of his for you to be able to change into. After setting everything on the bed, Seonghwa made his way out of the room, only to stop right as he got to the door frame.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he said, barely turning his head to attempt to look at you. “But consider yourself lucky, angel.”

Then, he fully left, leaving you alone in his bedroom for the rest of the night.

“So, here’s the deal, Mr. Park. You keep her alive, keep the money from Mingi, kill Mingi, then get more money from me. It’s a much better deal, don’t you think?”

Seonghwa’s jaw tensed. His face remained stoic as he pondered the offer that the lawyer was making him, uncertainty swirling around in his head.

“Okay, how much did Mingi give you?” Hongjoong asked.

Holding out his hand for a pen and paper, Seonghwa leaned forward, and Hongjoong provided those things for him. He quickly scribbled down the same number he had for Mingi, folded it, and then slid it to Hongjoong. Immediately upon opening the slip, Hongjoong scoffed lightly.

“This much? Really? Okay, well, I’ll double it. Consider it fees for keeping Y/N alive and killing Mingi. Sound good?”

Seonghwa wanted to immediately jump at the offer— three times the money for one small amount of drama? Fuck yes, he’ll fucking take that deal. But, he had to remain professional. Suppressing his delight, he cleared his throat and said, “Alright,” as monotonously as he possibly could.

The two men held their hands out and shook on the deal. They remained seated as Seonghwa had a couple more questions for the lawyer.

“When do you need this done by?”

“About two weeks from today?” Hongjoong thought aloud.

“Why so late?”

“There are preparations I need to make, Mr. Park. He is, after all, the other managing partner of this firm.”

“I see,” Seonghwa acknowledged, not really giving a shit about the world of corporate law. “You just give me the green light. I’ll keep an eye on his activity for now.”

Seonghwa stood up, then Hongjoong. The shook hands one more time before Seonghwa started for the office door.

“Oh, by the way,” Hongjoong’s voice stopped him. “Where is Y/N right now?”

Seonghwa got back from the law firm around noon, and his place was seemingly empty. He immediately walked towards his bedroom to see you sleeping in his bed— the events of the night prior completely wiped you out, and he didn’t blame you because he would’ve probably reacted the same way had he been in your shoes.

He approached the bed and sat next to you, his curious eyes observing every little thing about you. He saw that your eyes were swollen (thanks to him making you cry out of pleasure and fear all night long), that your cheeks were rosy, and that even while sleeping deeply, you still looked like a fucking angel to him. With the straightest face— not that you could see his expression even if he made one— he brushed your hair lightly away from your face and left a light kiss on your temple, the same temple that he pressed the barrel of his gun against. With that, he got up and left his room to go make dinner.

You, meanwhile, pretended to be asleep the second you heard the front door open and shut. Your face immediately went ablaze as soon as Seonghwa left the room. On one had, you wanted to fear the man because, well, fuck. He tried to fucking kill you. He was going to had Hongjoong not called and saved your ass. On the other hand, you were insanely attracted to him and his delicate touch. You wanted him to take you in his arms and make sweet passionate love that left you completely annihilated over and over again. Then again, they do say that scared is the best way to be horny. Maybe the thought of you dying in the hands of this man made you even more attracted to him— what the fuck were you thinking about? God, what was this man doing to your sanity?

You quickly shook your head and tried to get rid of all the weird thoughts before mustering up whatever strength you had in your wrecked body to get out of his bed. With the duvet wrapped around you, you shuffled into the kitchen, the smell of good food immediately hitting your nose.

Seonghwa, who heard the rustling of the duvet when you stepped, turned and said to you, “Oh, good, you’re awake.”

You offered him half a nod, to which he responded, “Sit. I’ll get you a plate when it’s done.”

Doing as he said, you sat at the dining table and waited in your duvet cocoon. You watched Seonghwa skillfully work his way around the kitchen for a solid minute or so before asking the question that had been burning in your mind ever since the previous night, “If Hongjoong didn’t call, were you really going to kill me?”

Immediately, the man froze. He turned the stove off and stopped cooking entirely to face you and answer you honestly.

“Yes.”

“Did you want to kill me?”

“No! Not at all,” Seonghwa replied without missing a beat.

“So it really was about the job for you,” you said softly.

“That’s right. Honestly, Y/N, you have to believe me when I say this, but if I didn’t have any feelings for you, then I wouldn’t have even slept with you in the first place.”

You nodded and let the information sink in. The realization that you were seconds from death had your lawyer friend not called in time still sent you spiraling. A tear slipped out of your eye as your brain went wild overanalyzing everything, scaring Seonghwa in the process. He rushed to your side and knelt by you while saying sincerely, “W-why are you crying? Oh my God, I’m sorry! I mean it when I say I didn’t want to kill you! I—”

“No, it’s not that,” you explained. “I’m just relieved that… That Hongjoong called in time. He told me he knew that Mingi hired someone to kill me, but I didn’t realize that it was going to be you.”

Guilt crossed Seonghwa’s face briefly before you continued, “Joong and I were working together to expose Mingi for his crimes because we wanted to take him down without hurting Joong’s firm. I was doing a lot of the heavy work because if Joong was seen doing it, then it would’ve made everything go to shit because Mingi would’ve just called a meeting with… That’s not the point. The point is that Mingi hired you to kill me, and we never thought he would stoop so low.”

“So…” Seonghwa asked slowly, “You’re not upset?”

“What the fuck? Of course I’m upset! I’m just not upset with you… You were doing your job, so how could I be mad about that?”

That’s right, he was just doing his job. Seonghwa pressed his lips together and nodded briefly before going back to finish making dinner. You continued to ask him questions as he continued cooking.

“So, what are you going to do with me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I have to stay in hiding until he’s dead, so will you help me sneak out of your place and back into mine—”

“No,” he interrupted. “You’re staying right here. It’s too dangerous to go out. Don’t even think about it.”

“So I’m your hostage,” you said with confidence.

“What?! No—”

“Relax!” you laughed at the poor man when you saw the frightened look on his face. “I’m just messing with you. I’ll stay here as long as you promise not to hurt or kill me. But, I need a couple of things if I’m going to live here for a bit.”

After you told him exactly what you wanted and needed from him, Seonghwa made all the arrangements. He brought you your clothes, your toiletries, and whatever else you asked him to grab for you from your apartment. So, you slept comfortably in his bed that night in a fresh pair of panties and a thin shirt since it was so goddamn hot outside and in his place.

Seonghwa, meanwhile, decided to sleep on the couch. He wanted to give you space because you were definitely still sore about the fact that he, well, nearly killed you.

He stared at the ceiling and tried to sleep, but he couldn’t. He kept seeing the look of completely and utter fear as he held the gun at your head, and the guilt just piled on. You weren’t dead, and he didn’t kill you, but the fact that he was going to still haunted him. At some point, with the way his brain was processing all of the information, he wondered if he felt guilty that he didn’t finish the job because he always finished the job. He didn’t know what it was that was making him feel so guilty.

With a sigh, Seonghwa rolled off the couch and made his way quietly into his room. He saw you lying in bed with the duvet barely covering any part of your body, and you were completely knocked out. He couldn’t help but eye you up and down as you slept— you were so beautiful, so sexy on a normal basis, but you were still so incredibly attractive while asleep? He couldn’t believe it.

Stretching in your sleep, you turned in the bed, the duvet completely slipping off you to reveal your barely clothed figure. Your thin shirt was riding up, and your nipples were poking through the white fabric, and Seonghwa got the most perfect shot of you, the sleeping beauty. It was such a perfect shot, in fact, that all the blood rushed right down to his cock.

Quickly, Seonghwa rushed to the bathroom. He sat on the edge of the bathtub, pulled his dick out and held the end of his shirt in mouth as he began to lightly stroke himself. He was so embarrassed in that moment, that seeing you sleeping like that was enough to drive him crazy. The way you looked the night he fucked you kept flashing in his mind, and his strokes rapidly sped up. He grit his teeth and closed his eyes, the look of fear in your eyes flashing in his mind, and that was it. With a muffled groan, Seonghwa came into his hand, his eyes rolling to the back of his head and his entire body shaking as his orgasm completely overtook him.

It took a minute or so for him to cool down, and the second the tiniest bit of his sanity returned, he saw that he creamed all over his hand, and it was a lot. Seonghwa sighed deeply at the sight, his entire body slumping in disappointment.

“Fuck.”

Seonghwa, true to his word, spent the day observing Mingi to figure out his daily routine— things that Seonghwa had to do in order to quietly and successfully kill his target. So, by the time he got home that day, it was almost ten at night. And, he returned to see you sitting in the kitchen with your legs crossed and your arms crossed over your chest.

Upon seeing you, Seonghwa got completely confused. You were wearing one of your work pantsuits, leaving him to wonder if he even brought one of those back for you when he went to pick up your belongings. That, and your eyebrows knitted together with the intensity in your body language sent shivers down his spine. For a brief moment, Seonghwa actually wondered if you were going to kill him.

“Is… Is everything okay?” Seonghwa asked slowly.

“I take it back. I am mad at you,” you bit out.

“Huh? For what? Why?”

“Seonghwa,” you said coldly, sending shivers down the man’s spine. “You were planning on killing me, so you used sex as the lure to get me alone. That’s fucked up.”

“No, wait, hold on,” Seonghwa spluttered. “I said I wouldn’t have slept with you if I didn’t have feelings for you—”

“That doesn’t matter. You were going to kill me, so why did you think it was right of you to fuck me? What, was it like some sort of final meal or something? One last good fuck before it was bye-bye?”

“Y/N, that’s not it at all.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

Seonghwa was rendered mute. He didn’t know how to respond— his feelings for you were too complicated to explain, and he was scared of setting you off by saying the wrong thing, so he thought silence was the best option.

“Are you interested in me, Seonghwa?” you tilted your head and asked him, your legs still crossed and your arms still crossed over your chest.

“I am attracted to you… And there are feelings there…” was the best way he could explain himself.

“Prove it.”

“Prove what?”

“Prove that you are attracted to me and that you have feelings for me. Because right now, I’m having a hard time believing that you didn’t intend to use sex as a weapon.”

With a soft sigh, Seonghwa locked eyes with you and asked, “How do I prove something like that?”

You smirked. You were hoping he’d ask that. You bit your lower lip and scanned him head to toe before responding, “Let me have my way with you. I think an even exchange of fear is only fair. If you let me treat you the same way you treated me, then I’ll believe you.”

Seonghwa barely agreed before you immediately whisked him away, and next thing he knew, he was tied down to his own bed with rope— where the hell did you get rope from?— wearing absolutely nothing. Not going to lie, he’s very confused, but he’s also a little embarrassed because he is completely naked and splayed out like a starfish.

“Alright, let me lay down a couple of ground rules,” you told the man after finishing up with the knot on the last rope and dusting your hands. “One: I will not physically hurt you in any way, like I won’t make you bleed, and the only bruises you’ll get are hickeys, so you better endure everything. Two: you need to take everything like a good boy— no complaining. Three: keep your eyes on me at all times. Four: you better beg and plead and cry and scream my name. Got it?”

The ground rules alone were enough for Seonghwa to regret many, many things in life. But, he had to listen to you in order to keep his money, job, and life; and if he didn’t, then you, Hongjoong, and Mingi would ruin him. Biting his lip, he looked at you and nodded in response.

“Good boy.”

That praise should not have been enough to fully erect his penis, but within seconds, it was firm and standing tall.

“Wow,” you commented as you watched his cock throb and twitch. “You like being called “good boy,” huh?”

Seonghwa’s face was completely red— not only was he turned on to the max, but he was also embarrassed as hell. He looked away from you, unable to maintain any sort of eye contact with you at that moment.

“Hey,” you grabbed Seonghwa’s face by his cheeks with one hand and turned his head to face you. “What did I say? Keep your eyes on me at all times, got it?”

Seonghwa nodded and kept his eyes on you as you stepped away from the bed.

What you wanted, what you really wanted more than scaring him and denying his orgasm, was to milk him dry. You wanted him to just keep cumming and let the pleasure drive him insane. Rather than make him fear, you wanted to drive him insane the same way overthinking him fucking you then nearly killing you drove you insane.

Making sure you were within his line of sight, you began to strip. You, still in your pantsuit, took the jacket off first and tossed it aside. Your pants were the next to go, leaving your button-up now untucked and covering a good portion of your waist and ass, hiding your panties.

You could see Seonghwa gulp— he was salivating like a fucking dog at the sight of you stripping, and you loved it. So, excruciatingly slowly, you unbuttoned the shirt one by one, revealing the prettiest grey, lace lingerie set that left little to the imagination. You watched with an amused smile as he gulped again when you tossed your shirt aside.

“Do you have something you would like to say, Seonghwa?”

“Fuck, Y/N,” Seonghwa groaned out. “You look so fucking beautiful, so fucking sexy, so fucking hot— fuck, Y/N! You’re driving me insane.”

You smiled. Good.

The second you climbed onto the bed, you straddled him, your ass facing his face. When you bent down, Seonghwa got a lovely view of your ass, and he wanted so badly to hook his finger in your G-string and snap it back onto your skin, but alas, he was still tied up. A soft little whine escaped his lips.

You, on the other hand, had your hands full with his cock leaking precum like anything. You ran your finger along the length in attempt to clean up all the precum that had trickled down, sending the man below you into a trembling fit.

“Fuck… Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you heard Seonghwa hiss the longer you teased him.

It definitely did not help him when you decided to move backwards, your ass wiggling as you moved. He was losing his goddamn mind by that point and pushed the back of his head as far as he could into the pillow when your nail scratched teasingly at his head, a long sigh leaving his chest.

“Alright, Seonghwa,” you instructed softly. “I want you to eat me out, okay?”

With one hand, you slipped the panties off, your hand still clenching Seonghwa’s dick firmly. And slowly, you lowered your ass, your pussy nearing his face. The second your wet cunt got low enough, you felt his eager tongue ready to wreck havoc. You completely shivered when you felt him suck intensely on your clit, the sound of his slurps echoing in the room.

As Seonghwa went to town on your cunt, you began pumping his cock. Lowering yourself, you took the tip in and out of your mouth, teasing the shit out of him. You could hear him let out little grunts in between his slurps, and when you squeezed his cock with the tiniest bit of force, a noise of surprise accompanied his entire body jolting. His moans continued to sound in the room, and based off the way his dick was reacting, you knew he was close. You moved away from his face and pumped him a couple more times before Seonghwa let out the loudest groan and came.

But that was only his first orgasm of the night.

Just as his dick was about to go limp again, you cooed and pet his thigh while saying, “Good boy.”

Seonghwa shivered, and immediately, his cock became rock hard once again. You held back a laugh as you watched his reaction to your tiniest bit of praise— here was the man making you scream and cry and fear for his life getting completely hard all because you called him a good fucking boy. With a smirk, you shifted on the bed towards his face and said jokingly, “I feel like you’re gonna cum if I just keep calling you a good boy.”

Eyes fluttering, Seonghwa bit his lower lip, sending blood rushing through your body. He was so fucking hot when he smirked or bit his lower lip— heck, his lips themselves were so beautiful and plump that anything his lips did would turn you on.

You straddled him once again, this time facing him. You wiped your slick off his mouth and asked him gently, “Did you enjoy your meal?”

“Yes, Y/N.”

“Good boy.”

Fuck. Seonghwa’s body trembled yet again, and this time, it looked like his cock was just ready to burst. He had to break one of your rules and squeeze his eyes shut to keep it together, so he didn’t realize that you were going to kiss him until he felt your lips overtake his. God, he forgot what an amazing kisser you were and got drawn into you completely. Your kisses were very intense, but they were nonintrusive, which made the man really want to use his hands so he could hold you close and push his tongue forcefully into your mouth and nearly down your throat, but he couldn’t do that. At least you were doing what he liked most and sucked hard on his lower lip until stars filled his vision, and the stars only accumulated when he felt you rub your cunt against his erect dick.

“Ngh, angel, I’m cumming!” he moaned against your lips.

And within seconds of saying that, you felt his cock shudder and twitch as hot, white cum decorated your back and ass. Seonghwa panted heavily and his face was flushed when you leaned back. His hair was wet and matted to his forehead, and he looked so out of sorts that it really turned you on— that, and the fact that he called you angel again.

“Hwa?” you hummed.

“Yes?” Seonghwa responded, his eyes shut tightly still as he recovered from his high.

“Keep calling me angel.”

Seonghwa opened his eyes then to see that your face was right in front of his. After kissing your nose and giving you a light smile, he responded, “As you wish, angel.”

You couldn’t help but shiver as the sound of his voice calling you angel sent tingles through your body. “Good boy,” you intentionally said in response knowing that it would just turn him on all over again.

Now Seonghwa shivered. He so badly wanted to move his hands so he could hold you, but you still had him tied to the bed. With a little whine, Seonghwa begged, “Angel, please, I wanna touch you. Please untie me. Please.”

“No,” you answered curtly. “What did I tell you? Endure everything and no complaining. You need to repent for how you treated me.”

Immediately, Seonghwa lowered his gaze, guilt washing over him once more. He only felt that guilt for about half a second until you ran your hands down his chest, your fingers going over his nipples lightly. Seonghwa’s entire body jerked as he cried, “No, wait, Y/N, I— Oh! My— Fuck!”

He absolutely lost his mind when you sucked on one of his nipples and played with the other, your fingers flicking and lightly pressing it. All sorts of whines and cries left he depths of his soul the more you teased and sucked his nipples.

“Angh— Ang-el,” Seonghwa hiccuped. “I’m so close… Please…”

“Please what?”

“Please help… Help me cum please, please, please!”

“Mmm, what would you like me to do?” you mumbled, your lips still planted to his chest.

“R-rub—” he cut himself and inhaled sharply, the stars starting to fill his vision again. “Rub against me…”

And you did as he requested. You pushed your ass towards his cock and moved your ass up and down, completely rubbing your cunt against him again. It was déjà vu, honestly. You rubbed, he threw his head back, he groaned loudly, and his hot cum landed on your ass and back again. He was breathless again, and he looked horny and dazed again.

“Y/N…Angel…” Seonghwa panted.

“Yes?”

“Let me fuck you.”

“Hmm?”

“I wanna fill you up with my cock, please. I can’t wait any longer. Please, angel, please. I want you so fucking bad,” he begged, his mouth slightly salivating at the thought of fucking you.

“Aw, my good boy is begging like I told him to. Okay, I’ll let you put it in,” you finally conceded.

You grinned at the sight of Seonghwa getting hard again because you called him a good boy again. Climbing off the bed, you looked around his bedroom before asking, “Where are the condoms?”

“They should be in the first drawer in the bathroom.”

“Okay,” you nodded and went hunting for the condoms.

While you were gone, Seonghwa did his best to attempt to get out of the restraints, but you tied them up way too well. Nevertheless, he persisted right up until you emerged from the bathroom carrying the whole box. You peered inside and counted the number of condoms left.

“There aren’t that many left in here…” You approached him and leaned your face into his, your breath ticking his skin as you whispered, “So let’s finish all of them, okay?”

Seonghwa gulped nervously. He knew that there were only seven condoms left in the box— don’t ask him how he knows— but seven condoms meant that he was going to be milked dry, just as you secretly wanted.

Rolling the first one on him, you got on the bed and trapped him between your knees, your ass facing the man. His eyes nearly burned a hole through your ass as he stared at the beautiful sight before him. It only got more beautiful when you rubbed the tip of his penis against your folds before sitting down slowly. He got excited thinking he was going to get a glorious sight of your pussy swallowing his hard, thick cock, but instead, you only lowered yourself so much. You only allowed the tip to move in and out, teasing the shit out of him. Your ass jiggled with every move, and Seonghwa found it so hot to the point where he felt his orgasm approaching rapidly.

“Angel! Oh, God! I’m—”

The next thing both of you knew, the condom filled up. You turned and check, and sure enough, Seonghwa had cum, and it was a lot.

“Already?”

“Y-yeah,” Seonghwa whimpered.

“Aw, we just put that one on… But, that’s okay. Let’s replace it.”

By the second condom, you were done teasing him. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you. You faced away from him again and sat down on his cock completely, a long, blissful exhale leaving Seonghwa’s soul. He only derived more pleasure when you clenched— you were not expecting his cock to go so deep into you that your pussy was bracing itself.

“Fucking— Y/N, you got so tight, fuck!”

You didn’t even bother responding; you were too busy trying to keep it together because goddamn, Seonghwa felt so good to the point where you were trembling. You were having such a hard time getting yourself to move, but you somehow mustered the strength to move. Seonghwa, seeing you struggle, decided to help you by thrusting upwards sharply, harshly.

“Oh! Oh Fuck!” you cried.

Seonghwa kept thrusting his hips up, barely giving you time to recover. You ended up clenching so hard that his vision went white and he unintentionally came. You felt him fill up the condom inside you, earning him a giggle from you.

“Did my good boy cum again?” you cooed knowing that your words would turn him on.

Within seconds, he got hard inside you again, and his face turned red in embarrassment. You climbed off him and turned to face him, your knees still on either side of him. You leaned forward and kissed his lips lightly, a smile blossoming on your face as you saw him all hot and bothered.

“You seriously love being called a good boy, huh?”

“I… I dunno,” Seonghwa slurred while panting.

“Maybe it’s because you spend so much of your time being a bad boy acting all cocky with that devilish smirk of yours.”

You patted Seonghwa’s cheek before moving to replace his full condom. While doing so, you looked at him and said with a soft voice, “You’ve been a very bad boy, haven’t you?”

“Very bad. Very, very bad,” Seonghwa was quick to agree.

“We need to punish bad boys, right?”

Tears in his eyes, the tied up man nodded and whined, “Punish me, angel. Punish this bad boy.”

An angelic smile appeared on your face as if you weren’t enough of an angel already, sending Seonghwa spiraling. You sent his heart racing, and he needed you to stop because, oh God, he was fucking obsessed. The obsession only intensified when you straddled him and faced him this time. You brushed your hair away from your face, and just seeing the curve of your body while your hair swayed made him want to cum again.

“You want to be a good boy, right?”

Seonghwa nodded fervidly, his hips twitching, his cock throbbing. You moved so that your breasts were right above him and lowered yourself enough for one of your nipples to reach his mouth.

“Suck my tits.”

Salivating, Seonghwa responded with a tiny nod before licking your breast then taking your nipple into his mouth. You bit your lower lip and tilted your head back as Seonghwa sucked like a baby, like the good boy he wants to be, like the good boy he is. He switched breasts after what felt like eons but was probably only a matter of mere seconds, and it was when he nibbled on your nipple that you couldn’t hold back anymore. Your breast left his mouth with a tiny pop. You reached behind you for his cock and positioned him. His cock slid into you, and you rode him, your hands pressing gently on his chest as you did so.

Seonghwa’s wrists were incredibly strained. He wanted so badly to hold your waist and move you and slam into you roughly, but you still did not want to untie the rope. You moved at a steady pace, and you rose and lowered your body, searching for the right position. You felt his cock push past your g-spot, your arms faltering and nearly dropping you onto Seonghwa’s torso. Muffled moans and cries echoed in the room as you fucked him in that position a couple more times before you came. You pushed down, the tip of his cock hitting your cervix as you same, the sensations of you clenching and unclenching at random paces sending Seonghwa over the edge.

“Hnng, Fuck! Oh, angel! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

His head flailed left and right and his hips bucked upwards as he tried his damn best to hold out on this orgasm— cumming so many times back to back made him a little light-headed, and there was no way he was going to pass out before fucking you the way he wanted to.

And yet, when you pushed his hair away from his forehead and eyes, kissed him, then slipped your tongue into his mouth, he folded. He came so fast and so hard, his loud groan shaking you to the very core.

“Y/N! Oh, God, please!” Seonghwa whined after collecting his sanity. “I can’t take it anymore— Please just let me fuck you already!”

Luckily for him, you were losing it. You desperately wanted him to fuck you senseless. So, wordlessly, you untied his legs then his arms. Seonghwa immediately sat up and held you in a tight embrace, his lips pressing so fucking hard against yours, making you feel like he was eating you alive. His fingers ran through your hair, and his hands gripped your flesh the more he kissed you.

“Oh my fucking God,” he hissed in between kisses. “Angel, I—”

Seonghwa’s breathing hitched when he felt you slip the filled condom off and stroke his slowly hardening cock.

“There are three more condoms left, Seonghwa,” you whispered sensually. “Come on. Fuck me hard. Fuck me to hell, you devil.”

Seonghwa shivered. His brain immediately flashed to the way you looked when he was literally about to kill you, and he so badly wanted to make you look like that again but want and desire in your eyes instead of fear.

“Okay, angel. I will.”

Before you could blink, Seonghwa had you kneeling on the bed, and with a fresh condom on, he entered, his waist immediately hitting your ass. He fucked you so hard that your entire body shifted on the bed with every thrust, and if that wasn’t enough, he slapped your ass sporadically, each slap making your ass redder. Tears streamed down your face as you cried in pleasure, the pain feeling more like pure bliss.

“You like that, angel, don’t you? You like the pain, don’t you?” Seonghwa growled.

“Ye-es! More!” you cried. “Abuse me like the devil you are!”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll fuck you to the gates of hell, angel.”

Clenching your ass tightly, Seonghwa moved quickly. He rammed into you so hard that you felt his cock hit your cervix again, and pleasure completely washed over your body. Your thighs trembled and your moans got higher in pitch— you wanted to squirt so badly, but Seonghwa’s cock was blocking your release. He pressed his waist into your ass for a hot second before pulling out quickly, allowing you to squirt all over the bed. You trembled and cried loudly as you came, and your cries died into whimpers once your pussy stopped convulsing.

Watching you cum so hard made Seonghwa desperately want to cum, too. He re-entered and fucked you quickly and silly. He clenched your waist and pulled you as close to him as possible as he let out a loud groan and came, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, and another orgasm overcoming you in the process.

After fully finished inside you in the condom, he pulled out, and you squirted yet again. Your upper body collapsed onto the bed trying desperately to give you more support during this second high. You whimpered and sighed when you felt yourself finish before rolling onto your back and panting, your teary eyes trying to focus on the ceiling as you did your best to calm down.

Seeing you all fucked out turned Seonghwa on more than you calling him a good boy— this was the look he wanted, and he fucking got it, but now, he wanted to keep that look on your face as he fucked you from above. He wanted to feel you scratch his back and arms and watch you writhe beneath him with tears continuing to run down your face. Grabbing you by your neck, he guided you until you were sitting up, then kissed you roughly. You held onto his shoulders and let yourself get swept away by his plush lips overtaking you.

“Don’t forget, angel,” Seonghwa said against your lips with a slight smirk. “We still have two condoms left.”

Seonghwa woke up first the next morning, and he woke up to a couple of things: one, he woke up to see that he had laid out new bedsheets; two, he woke up to see you in front of him. He was hugging you from behind, your bare back pressing against his bare chest. With a giddy smile on his face, he buried his face in the nook of your neck.

You, meanwhile, woke up when he started leaving light kisses on your neck, his fingers running along your stomach lightly and tickling you. “Mmm, tickles baby,” you mumbled, your voice still a little scratchy from screaming his name all night.

The man froze. Did… Did you just call him baby?

“Y/N…”

You turned in his arms and blinked the sleep out of your eyes to see his perfectly sculpted face in front of yours. You caressed his face as you whispered, “Good morning, handsome.”

“No, don’t call me handsome.”

“W-what?”

Taken aback, you fully woke up. You were confused— here the man was hugging and squeezing you to him, but he didn’t want you to call him handsome?

“You called me baby just now,” he said.

“I did?”

“Yes, you did. Do it again.”

“What?” you were extremely confused— what was he going on about?

“Call me baby.”

Stifling a laugh, you brushed his hair away from his face and held the back of his neck before saying, “Good morning, baby.”

“Mmm, that’s the stuff!”

Happily, he rubbed his nose into your neck, his hair and nose tickling you. You laughed out loud and pet the back of his head the more he buried his face into you, making Seonghwa’s heart flutter like crazy. He was obsessed with your laugh, your fucking angelic laugh. He didn’t want to say it out loud, but he could admit to himself that yes, he was falling for you, and he was falling hard.

Holding you close, he peppered kisses along your jaw, neck, collarbones, and he was about to bury his face in your bosom when his phone rang.

“Dammit,” Seonghwa grumbled with a heavy sigh.

Ignoring the call, he pushed his face into your breasts anyway.

“Baby,” you said softly. “You should answer that…”

“Ugh, fine, only because you called me baby,” Seonghwa reluctantly let go of you.

You got a nice view of Seonghwa’s naked body when he climbed out of bed and answered his phone. You chewed on your lower lip as you observed his ass— his beautiful, round ass. You wanted to bite it, and you were going to get out of bed and do so until you heard Seonghwa answer the call.

“Mr. Kim?”

You could hear the Hongjoong on the other end. You could hear him, but barely.

“Today. Do it today.”

“Where should I go?”

“He’s going to go deep into the archives to bury evidence today, so go there. There are no cameras there, and a secret door to let you out of the building. You won’t get caught, I promise.”

“Don’t tell me you’re expecting me to shoot him…”

“I want you to fucking blow his brains up.”

“…Alright, but if I get caught, you better be my lawyer.”

“Okay, deal.”

With a light sigh, Seonghwa hung up and placed his phone screen down. To be completely honest, all he wanted to do that day was stay in and fuck you even more. But, he had a job to do.

“Was that Hongjoong?”

“Yeah. I have to do the job today.”

“Can I come with?” you asked eagerly as you sat up, the duvet tucked neatly under your arms.

“I don’t know—”

“No, let me tag along, please. I want him to know I’m still alive before you kill him. I wanna scare the shit outta him.”

Seonghwa worked it out in his head— Mingi was the person who originally hired him to kill you, and since he was about to kill Mingi, he didn’t see why not. He responded to you with a tiny nod, a grin spreading across your face.

“Also,” you stopped him before he could walk away and get ready. “Do we have time for a quickie before we go, baby?”

You were pushing all of the right buttons for the man and making him fall for you even more. God, you were seriously perfect for him.

“Oh my fucking God, I wish we did. You have no fucking idea how bad I wish we had time, angel, but we gotta go.”

Seonghwa had to bit his tongue and hold himself back when he saw the slight look of disappointment appear on your face. With an understanding nod, you got out of bed completely naked. You searched for your clothes, Seonghwa checking out your ass this time as you bent over. God fucking dammit, he wanted you oh so fucking badly. But, no. Work first, pleasure later.

You looked at the man with disgust as you watched him physically burying evidence. You didn’t know how on Earth Mingi could do such a thing with a clear conscious, especially after knowing he was working on a merger acquisition case that saved a small business from falling apart. You always knew that lawyers were two-faced pricks, but Mingi was the worst one of them.

Taking a deep breath, you walked out and up to the man, who was hunched over a couple of boxes. He took a look at your shoes and looked up, all of the color draining from his face.

“W-w-what? Y/N… You…”

“Hello, Mingi.”

“You— You’re not dead?!”

“No.”

Mingi stood up suddenly, the color returning to his face, that color being red. “So that fucking asshole lied to me?!”

He lunged for you and nearly grabbed you, but you took a large step backwards, and Seonghwa kicked his knee in from behind, causing him to fall on and crush the boxes he was fiddling with. Seonghwa stepped on Mingi and put a lot of his weight on the flailing man, his chest heaving as he tried to breathe normally.

“I lied, yes,” Seonghwa admitted. “And it’s not like you’re going to be able to do anything about it because you’re my next target, Mr. Song Mingi.”

Seonghwa cocked his gun and pointed it right in between Mingi’s eyebrows.

“Wait, stop! Wait! Don’t—”

#broatz request #park seonghwa #seonghwa smut #seonghwa x reader #park seonghwa ateez #seonghwa ateez #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa smut #seonghwa ateez smut #broatz #Spotify #cromernet

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alwaysmicado · 1 month

Text

Fleshlight

5.2k | 18+ MDNI | Nathan Bateman x f!reader

Warnings: pwp, D/s dynamic, vaginal fisting, object insertion, p in v (kind of), edging, pussy & face slapping, degradation, dacryphilia, soft(ish) Nathan Summary: Nathan punishes you for being a spoiled brat by edging you in various ways. A/N: I don’t have an excuse for this one...please just know that it’s not my fault. It’s his. Can be read alone or together with my other Nathan fics. Enjoy and let me know what you think! 🤍

“I didn’t tell you to stop, did I?” he asks you with a raised eyebrow, his fingers lightly tracing your naked belly. “Go on.”

You shakily exhale, the sensation of Nathan’s touch overwhelming your already oversensitive body. Nathan knows perfectly well that every caress, every contact sends your brain into a frenzy, rendering coherent thought or speech impossible. The self-satisfied smirk on his stupid, handsome face tells you as much.

The fact that he’s stroking his cock while sitting on his heels between your spread legs isn’t helping either.

Not at all.

“Hey,” he slaps you hard across the face when you take too long to answer him. “I’m not telling you again.”

The dark glint in his eyes and the harshness of the slap tell you that he means it. His stinging hand goes back to caressing your naked belly, moving further up to your exposed tits.

You take a second to process the searing pain spreading across your cheek before your brain urges you to speak. “I’m sorry, it just–” Your voice catches in your throat as hot tears well up and trickle down your temples. Your whole body is trembling. “It hurts so bad.”

A sob escapes your quivering lips. They’re swollen and bruised from all the nipping and sucking Nathan’s been doing over the past hour, dried blood visible in the left corner from where he struck you particularly hard.

Nathan chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his whole face lighting up with genuine joy at your despair. “If you think this little show of yours is gonna get you out of your punishment, you’re mistaken, baby. Now get the fuck on, or I’ll double it.”

His hand explores your left tit, caressing it, squeezing it, savoring the feeling of your warm, soft skin.

“I don’t deserve to come because I’m a spoiled brat,” you whine as he brushes over your erect nipple, a jolt of electricity shooting through you.

“Hmm, is that so?” he asks facetiously, pinching your nipple and tugging on it so hard you cry out and yank at the cuffs binding you to Nathan’s bed, writhing in pain and ecstasy.

At this point, you could probably come from him pinching your nipple long enough.

“Yes,” you pant, your chest heaving as he’s moved on to your right tit, circling your nipple with the pad of his middle finger.

“You know, it’s funny. I hear your words, but I still don’t think you actually mean them.”

Nathan abandons his cock to reach for the bottle of lube on the nightstand, pouring a generous amount of the cold fluid onto his right hand. Your alert eyes follow each of his movements, and a whimper escapes your lips as you realize what’s coming.

“‘Cause you wouldn’t be such a whiny crybaby if you really meant what you said,” he sighs, his dark eyes studying your face with satisfaction. You’re sweaty, teary-eyed, desperate, and undeniably beautiful.

He spreads the lube over his fingers, his palm, and the back of his hand, meticulously coating them in the slick substance. With a swift motion, he wipes his left hand on the towel beside your torso before sliding his lubed-up fingers up and down your puffy folds. Your eyes flutter shut at his touch, and a moan escapes your lips as you eagerly arch your hips, craving more of his touch.

A harsh slap on your swollen, oversensitive clit jolts your eyes back open as you cry out in agony. Overwhelming pain shoots through your body, leaving you gasping and writhing against the restraints. Desperately, you attempt to wriggle away and close your legs, but the taut ropes don’t allow you to move much at all.

They’re attached to the cuffs around your wrists and your thighs, right above your knees, connected to the headboard. You have no chance of getting away.

You’re bound, helpless, spread open—completely at Nathan’s mercy.

The stinging sensation from his slap is so painful that a fresh wave of tears streams down your temples, your attempts to stifle the pained noises leaving your lips proving futile.

“I decide how and when to touch you, slut,” Nathan purrs in a deceptively calm voice. “You understand?”

When you don’t respond quickly enough, he delivers another sharp strike to your clit, eliciting a mixture of yelps from you, blending agony and elation. Your body’s wound so tightly that if he keeps this up, he’ll make you come from his slaps alone.

“Yes,” you blurt out, tears stinging your eyes. “I understand.”

Nathan’s been edging you for what feels like an eternity—torturing you with his tongue, his fingers, his voice. Each time he’d get you close to coming, he’d stop all movement, reveling in the progressively more desperate pleas and screams falling from your lips.

“What’s your color, baby?”

He watches your face intently as he slides three fingers inside you in one swift movement, leisurely fucking your dripping wet pussy.

“Green,” you moan, arching your back as your walls clamp down hard around Nathan’s digits. His left hand grips your thigh, his fingertips digging into your skin.

Satisfied with your answer, he pulls his fingers out of you and glides his lubed-up hand through your folds, tracing a path from your swollen clit down to your asshole. After thoroughly covering you in lube, he withdraws his hand and looks at your face. Your eyes are filled with lust, your pupils dilated, your gaze locked onto Nathan’s dark eyes.

“Mmm, I love when you look at me like that, slut,” he murmurs, brushing his fingertips over your clit.

The low sounds of pleasure from your lips are sweet, but Nathan’s searching for harder sounds of ecstasy.

Holding onto your hip with his left hand, he slides his fingers back inside you, adding his pinky this time, slowly pushing all four fingers all the way in. You gasp as he stretches you, holding his fingers inside you so you can adjust to them. Encouraged by your desperate noises, he rotates his hand clockwise and counter-clockwise, feeling your muscles gradually yield and welcome the intrusion.

Your body trembles under his touch, each sensation sparking a surge of electricity that courses through you, igniting every nerve ending with a fiery intensity.

With an extra little push, the big knuckles of Nathan’s hand press against your glistening, stretched lips, your moans escalating into a squeal of ecstasy.

“Oh, fuck, Nathan!”

He holds his hand still for a moment, scanning your face for any signs of discomfort, before easing back an inch and gradually sliding back in. Your body responds with urgency, writhing against the restraints as you moan and whimper at the sensation of Nathan's knuckles disappearing inside you.

“Almost there, my filthy little whore,” he murmurs, amazed by the elasticity of your pussy.

He squeezes more lube onto his exposed hand and maintains the slow, rhythmic in-and-out movement. After a minute, he reaches the point where all he has to do is tuck in his thumb and push, and his hand would slide in the rest of the way.

“You wanna feel my fist inside you, slut?” Nathan’s dark eyes pierce yours, the hunger you can see in them causing your pussy to clench around his fingers.

“Yes,” you let out, breathless, helpless. You’re a puddle from his touch, and all you want is for him to keep filling you, your desire for him insatiable.

After a few more pumps, he pulls his fingers out almost completely, and moves his thumb into their wet embrace. Slowly, savoring the delicious feeling of your warm cunt around his fingers, he pushes all five digits into you, past the first knuckles, past the second knuckles, holding them still for a moment, listening to your breath, to your rising sounds of ecstasy.

Nathan begins to move his hand out slightly, then in slightly, his wrist twisting subtly with each motion. With every inward push, his hand penetrates a little deeper, methodically stretching you and testing your limits. He halts with the base of his thumb resting against your opening, teasingly maneuvering his hand in and out before applying pressure once more.

Each push elicits another moan from you as his hand slips deeper, gradually stretching you open. To distract you, he pinches your clit as the base of his thumb disappears inside you.

“That’s it, baby,” he encourages you as his hand slides fully into your cunt, your muscles closing around his wrist. He keeps his hand still, allowing your body to adjust to the stretch.

You moan, deep and low, trying not to move at all. Any movement touches upon his hand inside and causes a delicious pain he’s only made you feel once before. Gasping for air, you struggle to maintain your composure.

“Breathe, baby. Slowly, in and out,” Nathan coaxes, his voice a soothing contrast to the intensity of the moment.

You let your head fall back onto the soft pillow and do as instructed, focusing on slowing your breath and calming your racing heart.

“That’s a good girl,” he coos. “You feel so fucking good.”

Nathan’s in heaven. There is nothing in the world he could ever buy or create to equal the intoxicating rush of power he’s feeling right now. With deliberate care, he curls his fingers into a fist, and he holds you, owns you completely. In this moment, you are wholly his, lost in ecstasy, panting and whimpering as your body submits to his command.

He feels your walls tense, wrapping tightly around his fist, then relax slightly. Your face contorts in agonized bliss as he rotates his wrist, feeling the walls of your flesh rub against his hand and knuckles.

“Oh fuck,” you groan as he begins to slowly thrust his fist in and out of you, the squelching sounds coming from your dripping hole amplifying the arousal between you both.

“I’m–I’m so full. It��shit—it feels too good, Nathan. You’re—oh fuck—you’re gonna make me come like this.”

“Look at you,” Nathan chuckles, increasing the pace of his strokes, while his other hand pinches your clit. You yelp, feeling yourself edging closer with every movement of his fist inside your cunt.

“You’re a filthy little whore, aren’t you?” he says, his breathing labored. “Yeah, you are. Letting me destroy your pussy like this and enjoying it. Filthy.”

You rock your hips, your body responding eagerly to Nathan’s touch, every sensation heightened to an almost unbearable intensity. Suddenly, you feel the overwhelming urge to come, knowing you can’t hold it back much longer.

“Please, Nathan, can I please come?” you cry out, your pussy contracting around his hand, your legs trembling. “Please, I–I can’t–”

You hear his harsh voice, “No, baby. You better hold it or you’ll be in even more trouble.”

You barely comprehend what he says to you, but you can tell by the sound of his voice that he’s not going to relent. He doesn’t give you a second to rest, continuously sliding his slick hand in and out of your pussy, greedily absorbing your delicious groans.

You close your eyes as you strain every single muscle in your body, biting your lip so hard you can taste blood, doing everything in your power to resist tipping over the edge.

“Open your eyes,” Nathan’s voice penetrates your foggy mind. “Look at me.”

You have to fight to open your eyelids.

Nathan’s gaze darkens, locking onto yours, willing you to keep your focus on him. Your body is slick with sweat, chest heaving with each labored breath as you find yourself enveloped in a haze—a trance of pure ecstasy, pain, and submission.

Nathan’s eyes drift downwards to where your bodies are connected, marveling at the sight of his wrist wrapped by your eager lips. His cock is throbbing, leaking precum onto the bed, begging for release. With a sense of reverence, he holds his hand still inside of you for a few moments longer, relishing the sensation, all while studying your expression and absorbing the symphony of your blissful pain.

“Please, Nathan,” you whine, tears welling up in your eyes, spilling over, and running down your temples. Nathan’s cock twitches at the sight.

“No, baby, you’re not allowed to come,” he says calmly, his tone laced with feigned pity, even as he continues to slide his fist in and out consistently. His eyes bore into yours and you feel like he’s penetrating your soul.

“You came into the lab looking like a hooker, interrupting my work because you were bored. I explained to you that I was busy and that you’d have to wait until I was done. You were mouthy and acted like an entitled princess, so I told you to leave and that you’d be punished. This is your punishment. You’re not allowed to come for a week and during that time, I’ll edge you as much as I please.”

“I know, I know,” you stammer, your voice breaking. “I’m so–sorry, Nathan, please.”

“Not good enough, baby. You made your choice, and now you have to face the consequences like a big girl.”

Feeling your walls flutter around his fist and hearing your moans grow louder, Nathan stops all movement, keeping his hand nestled inside you, waiting patiently for the wave of ecstasy to subside.

Your pathetic whimpering only serves to fuel Nathan’s arousal further, his cock aching to finally get some relief. Deciding that you’ve been stretched enough for what he’s got planned for you, he begins the slow process of withdrawing his hand from your cunt.

“Deep breaths, baby,” he whispers, lightly brushing over your clit with his left thumb.

“Oh, fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck!” Your cries echo through the room as your tortured pussy begins again to open wide for him.

“That’s it,” Nathan murmurs, his voice a husky blend of primal satisfaction and raw desire, on the verge of coming untouched as he watches his hand slowly sliding out of his favorite place in the world, your trembling, slick lips parting reluctantly to release him.

The gentle grazing of his hand against your walls ignites waves of exquisite pain, and as his knuckles spread you open, the sensation intensifies, stretching you to your limits and amplifying the pleasure coursing through your body.

“Please, Nathan, please, please, please,” you whimper, your pleas escaping in a desperate cascade of need. Your mind wanders, losing itself in another realm where you soar, liberated and weightless.

Nathan can feel the involuntary pressure of your body starting to push him out, but he resists the pressure to avoid a sudden exit that might cause you to faint. He needs you awake.

“Easy, baby,” he whispers, softly stimulating your clit with his thumb again.

As his hand slowly emerges from your raw, sensitive pussy, your body begins to shudder. Your abused hole is gaping, liquid flowing from its opening. Your eyes are glossy as you look at Nathan, your tongue absentmindedly licking over your chapped lips.

He sits back on his heels and lightly pets your thighs, spreading the combination of lube and your slickness across your skin.

“Color, baby?” he asks, his eyes searching yours.

You take a deep breath before responding, “Green.”

“Very good,” he acknowledges with a smile, giving your clit a tap before rising from the bed. “Cause I’m not done with you.”

He walks over to the nightstand, picks up the glass of water, and brings it to your lips. With a supportive hand, he steadies your neck, encouraging you to take a few sips.

Satisfied with your intake, he gently lowers your head back onto the pillow and sets down the glass. Then, he retrieves something from the bottom drawer of the nightstand.

His smirk worries you.

As he’s moved away from the bed, your gaze is drawn to the mirrors opposite the bed, reflecting your disheveled form. You observe your puffy, glistening folds, the wet spot on the sheets between your legs, your red eyes, your bruised and bloody lips—you’re a complete mess. A complete, happy mess.

Nathan rounds the bed, standing in front of you with the object of his desire. It takes your hazy brain a few seconds to register what he’s holding in his hand, but when you do, your face falls, and all you can do is let out a pathetic little whimper.

No.

He wouldn’t…right?

Oh, who are you kidding, of course he would.

He scoffs at your shocked face as he spreads lube around the silicone fleshlight, taking his time to insert his slick fingers into the tight opening, humming in satisfaction at the sensation.

“Dumb baby,” he coos sardonically. “Did you honestly think I was gonna fuck your loose pussy after I just ruined it with my fist? I wouldn’t feel shit.”

He kneels on the bed before your spread legs again, pumping his cock slowly with his lubed-up hand. Your wide eyes follow his every movement, the desire to feel him deep inside you, to come around his cock, to have him fill you up consuming your entire being.

But you realize that none of that is going to happen.

Instead, Nathan teases your entrance with the fleshlight, eliciting a low moan from you. He starts pushing it in slowly, only an inch or two at a time, before smoothly withdrawing it again. The sensation is quite nice, like he’s fucking you with a thick dildo, and after having his whole fist inside you, the toy glides in and out of you without much resistance.

Finally, he pushes it in until it’s fully seated inside you, leaving it there to fill you completely.

“That’s much better,” he says with a smirk as he brushes over the silicone clit and further upwards over yours a few times, then lines the tip of his cock up with the silicone lips that are beautifully framed by yours. He slides inside with one smooth thrust, groaning at the delicious feeling of the ribbed texture massaging his length.

“Fuck me, that feels good,” Nathan moans, his cock twitching inside the fleshlight as he observes your pained expression. “Such a perfect, tight pussy.”

He leans over you, his face hovering above yours, his hands resting on the bed next to your torso.

“Do you feel that, you little slut?” he murmurs as he thrusts his hips, his balls hitting your asshole repeatedly. “Do you feel how I’m fucking this tight pussy, huh?”

When he notices tears welling up in your eyes, he crashes his lips onto yours, his tongue sliding between your lips with a fervent hunger. As you eagerly reciprocate his kiss, moaning into his mouth, you can taste yourself on his lips and beard from when he ate you out earlier, the heady flavor sending your senses reeling.

Breaking the kiss and straightening back up, Nathan firmly holds onto your thighs as he mercilessly fucks the fleshlight. His gaze never wavers as he tells you what a good little sleeve you are for his favorite pussy, how much he enjoys fucking it, or while detailing his plans to use it in your ass so you can cockwarm him all night long.

Every single word that spills from his lips has you dripping and moaning, lost in a whirlwind of desire and submission. There’s something so incredibly humiliating yet undeniably exciting about being taken by him like this.

You love hearing his groans, you love feeling his possessive grip on your thighs, you love the feeling of his cock slamming into the fleshlight inside you—but at the same time, an increasingly big part of you is struggling with what you know is coming next.

He’s going to have an orgasm and you’re not. It’s your punishment.

The feeling of almost unbearable frustration that you know will well up within you when he fills the silicone pussy with his cum but leaves you aching is something you both crave and dread.

You’ll be all revved up with no possible release, and that’s brutal.

You try to focus on the stimulation you’re getting from the fleshlight moving inside you as Nathan keeps fucking it. And, more importantly, you try your hardest to focus on the pleasure you’re making him feel, rather than getting preoccupied with the fact that you won’t be getting any physical release.

Most of the time when edges you, you don’t have very much trouble with it, but for some reason today, it’s much more difficult for you to handle.

Nathan pulls you out of your thoughts as he moves his hands from your thighs to your tits and starts squeezing them so roughly that it’s painful. You guess that this means he’s about to come—he loves hurting you when he’s close.

Sure enough, a few strokes later he’s coming with a low groan, digging his nails deeply into your tits at the exact moment he shoots his load into the silicone pussy.

He keeps his cock buried deep inside the fleshlight for a few moments, allowing himself to empty his balls completely and catch his breath. Then, he leans back, letting his cock slide out. The sight of his cum dripping out of the fake pussy inside yours is something he wants to treasure forever.

And he can—thanks to the two 4k cameras recording everything that ever happens in his bedroom.

“Relax, baby,” you hear him say before you feel him slowly pull the fleshlight out of you. He lays it down on the towel next to you, then directs his attention to your gaping pussy. Mesmerized, he gently spreads your lips with his thumbs, his soft cock witching at the sight of your abused hole.

While Nathan’s inspecting you closely, like you’re an android he’s trying to perfect, your head is swimming with all the intense emotions you’re feeling—the deep satisfaction and pride at having pleased Nathan by enduring his punishment, the physical pain, your own frustration.

It’s all completely overwhelming.

You’re just grateful that, now that it’s over, you’ll have some time to calm down. Right now, you want to come desperately, and it will take you a while to get past that feeling, but you know you’ll be able to manage it eventually.

That’s why you’re so shocked by the sudden sensation of Nathan’s right hand between your legs, rubbing, while his left hand wanders up to your tits, squeezing them alternately.

You moan and close your eyes, lost in the ecstatic feeling of his touch. He’s drawing tight circles on your clit, knowing exactly how you like to be touched, and it feels incredible.

But only half of your brain is overcome with pleasure. The other half is in full-on panic mode. You already know for a fact he isn’t going to let you come, so this is just another round of torture for his sadistic amusement.

His fingers feel so painfully good on you, far too good. He keeps alternating between squeezing your tits and digging his nails into them with his hand, intensifying the sensation of his fingers rubbing your swollen clit.

With how sensitive you already feel from him eating you out, edging you, fisting you and kind-of-fucking you, it’s only a matter of minutes before you’ll be getting close again.

You’re usually pretty good at coping with the pain of repeated denial, but right now, you feel like your level of frustration goes past your ability to handle it. The thought of reaching the precipice again, getting so close that another second would bring you to the orgasm you want so badly, is just too much to bear.

You can’t do it without losing your mind. There’s no way.

“No, no, no, please, Nathan, I can’t…Not again, please,” you plead, genuine panic evident in your strained voice.

Nathan slows the movement of his fingers on your clit, raising his head to meet your eyes with intense focus.

“Look at me, concentrate on me, baby,” you hear him say in a stern yet calm voice. “Do you trust me?”

You bite your lip hard, close your eyes with a deep exhale, then open them again. “Yes,” you choke out, your throat tight as you struggle to focus on his words. Your heart races, pounding so hard you fear it might burst from your chest.

“Listen to me,” Nathan commands. “I want you to calm down and relax, do you understand?” he asks you.

“Yes,” you reply, your voice strained.

“This isn’t up for debate. I want it, it will please me. You belong to me, your body belongs to me, and I will use it how I see fit. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Nathan,” you repeat weakly.

He returns his attention to your pussy, skillfully stimulating your clit. His eyes never leave yours as he relishes the pained expression on your face. “You’re doing great, baby. Keep breathing and stay focused on me.”

“Uh-huh,” you breathe, involuntarily rocking your hips as Nathan, yet again, brings you closer and closer to your high with every precise movement of his fingers.

“I’m gonna come soon,” you pant, your voice tinged with hope and desperation, wishing he would relent before it becomes too overwhelming.

“Very good. But I’m not going to stop until you’re right on the edge.”

“Okay,” is all you can get out, resigned to your fate.

It only takes another minute. You feel the orgasm building inside you, right there, ready to wash over you in just another second. You feel a tiny, nagging impulse to lie, to tell him it’s come on so fast you couldn’t stop him in time. But you know if you did that, you’d feel so guilty you wouldn’t even be able to enjoy the orgasm.

So, instead, you yell, “Stop!”

He does, sitting back on his heels, hands off your body.

You yank at the restraints securing your wrists and legs, writhing and screaming at the torturous feeling of your imminent orgasm being taken from you so cruelly. Your clit burns and pulsates, and your sore pussy clenches around nothing in a vain attempt to bring you to completion.

You take deep breaths, attempting to steady yourself. Your chest is heaving and your body’s trembling uncontrollably. Whimpers and sobs escape you as you bury your face into the pillow, eyes tightly shut.

Your orgasm was so fucking close, and having it ripped away by a man whose smirk you could see through tear-filled eyes has you ready to punch a wall…or claw his eyes out.

You feel a very unsubmissive urge to tell Nathan he’s a bastard for doing this to you. He knows damn well how hard edging is on you, so why the hell is he putting you through this? Just because you wanted to spend more time with him? It’s not fair.

He’s already untied both of your legs and let them down gently, making sure you slowly stretch them for the first time in over an hour. He kneels beside your torso, releasing you from the cuffs around your right, then your left wrist. He watches your face intently, savoring your tears and the pained sobs escaping your swollen lips.

If you weren’t sore, he’d fuck you right now. You’re so beautiful when you’re hurting.

You turn onto your left side, away from Nathan, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them. You’re scared by how angry you are at him and want to feel as small as possible because it makes you feel safe.

Nathan lies on his side behind you, drawing the covers over your trembling body. Propping his head up on his hand, he places his palm on your shoulder, stroking your arm gently. Your muscles tense at his touch, conflicted emotions swirling within.

“You wanna come, baby?” he coos, a hint of sadistic amusement in his voice.

What the fuck do you think?

You don’t say anything, weak sniffles occasionally breaking your silence.

Nathan sighs deeply but decides to let your non-response slide. He’s pushed you a lot today, and as he observes your fragile state, he’s prepared to cut you some slack.

“Tell me why I’m not letting you.” He puts a soft kiss on your damp shoulder blade, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine.

“Because my pain makes you happy,” you say, your voice strained.

“Yeah, well, that’s a given,” Nathan says with a hint of amusement. “But seriously, I want you to tell me why I’m not letting you come.”

You’re biting your tongue so hard to refrain from saying something you’ll regret, acutely aware that your frustration is clouding your ability to find the part of your mind where the right answer Nathan’s looking for is located.

He gives you a moment to gather yourself, confident you’ll be able to overcome your anger.

Eventually, you relent. “I don’t deserve to come because I’m a spoiled brat,” you murmur into your pillow. “I–I lashed out at you today because I felt neglected and that wasn’t the way to go about it. I need to be punished for that and I trust you to make the right decision about what that punishment should look like.”

Nathan listens attentively, his expression softening as he hears your words. “That’s exactly right, baby,” he says gently, his fingers tracing delicate patterns on your shoulder blade and neck. “See? Even a dumb little toy like you gets it eventually.”

He sits up, leaning against the headboard. “Come here,” he murmurs, motioning for you to lay on him. Meeting his gaze for a second, you obediently nestle your head on his warm skin, your left arm draped over his torso.

He allows you a moment to calm down, gently scratching your scalp, the rhythmic beat of his heart relaxing you. You savor the fleeting intimacy, fully aware that he’ll soon ask you to leave as he has an important meeting scheduled in half an hour.

Your ears perk up when his low voice breaks the silence, his chest vibrating with each word. “I know edging is hard for you, and I’m glad to hear you understand why things need to be this way. I’m proud of you.”

You nuzzle your head against his chest, an overwhelming feeling of warmth spreading through you. Nathan’s proud of you. No orgasm in the world could ever compare to the feeling of hearing those words from him.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you today,” you murmur.

“Apology accepted,” he says, his tone sincere. “Now, go to the bathroom and take a shower. Dinner’s ready in twenty minutes and I bought that stupid Dune movie you won’t shut up about.”

You lift your head and stare at him in disbelief, convinced that your brain—or Nathan—is playing a trick on you. You’re so confused.

“But what about the meet–”

He raises an eyebrow. “If your ass is not out of this bed in the next ten seconds, I’m tying you up again, and I promise you won’t like what I’ll do to you then.”

You can’t hold back the dopey grin that spreads across your face as you pull back the covers and scurry to the bathroom as fast as your weak legs will allow.

Nathan watches with an imperceptible smile as your silhouette disappears behind the automatic door.

– – –

Thanks for reading!! 🤍 -> Nathan masterlist || main masterlist

#nathan bateman x f!reader #nathan bateman x reader #nathan bateman smut #nathan bateman #oscar isaac characters #nathan bateman x you #nathan bateman fanfiction #smut #nathan bateman ex machina #nathan ex machina #nathan bateman fic

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enhaheeseung · 5 months

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Come back to me - L.HS

Pairing: heeseung X fem reader!

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, depression, crying, cursing.

WC: 1,900k+

Part eleven

Masterlist

“Hey, bro.”

“Heeseung?”

“Bossman”

“Hello?

“ANSWER ME!”

Little did Jake know his texts would go unanswered for days.

After the first couple of days, Jake thought maybe heeseung was just working things out with you and focusing on repairing your guy's relationship.

However, after a while, he started to get suspicious of what was happening. It was unusual for heeseung not to respond, and it was even more unusual for him not to show up for work after weeks of being absent.

“Have you heard from heeseung? He’s not answering my calls or texts.” he sent a text to Jay, trying to piece together the current situation.

“No. Not since his date with y/n.”

“Strange, this isn’t like him at all.”

“I know, he hasn’t been to work in forever. Do you think we should check on him?”

“Already three steps ahead of you. Meet me at his house. I’ll send the address.”

“Sounds good”

Jay arrived a few minutes after Jake, and they stood outside heeseung’s door, knocking softly. “Took you long enough to get here” Jake rolls his eyes.

“Not my problem. There was traffic!” He defends.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jake sighs and knocks on the door again, becoming more anxious than he already was. “His cars in the driveway. He must be here.” Jay went to the window, trying to peek in, but all the lights were turned off.

Jay looked for a spare key but had no luck in finding one.

The knock on the door became more erratic as Jake grew more and more worried.

He gave up and tried to dial Heeseung’s number again, but it was futile when he got no answer. “Fuck”

At this point, Jake was about to kick the door in, and he all but did. “Wait!” Jay shouted and twisted the doorknob, and lo and behold, it was open this whole time.

He stuck his tongue out at Jake before entering heeseung’s home while the other just shook his head in disbelief.

“Heeseung?” They called as they stepped inside, it was dead silent, almost as if no one was home.

Of course, there was no answer, and Jake quickly jogged upstairs, heart racing as his mind went to the worst scenarios. “Heeseung? Oh, thank goodness.” Jake stopped in his tracks, sighing in relief, and Jay did as well when they spotted Heeseung in bed. “You had me worried, you idiot,” Jake scolded him. After his initial panic faded away, he noticed how Heeseung had absolutely no reaction to them practically breaking in. “Hee?” Jake whispers, walking towards him on the bed. It was dark, but once he got closer, he could see that Heeseung had his eyes wide open, blankly staring at a picture of you.

“Go,” was all he said before he turned around on the other side of his bed.

“Go? What the fuck, man? I drove forty five minutes to get to your ass,” Jake elbowed Jay in the side.

“Can’t you fucking read the room?” Jake whisper shouts while Jay holds his side in pain.

Before saying anything else, Jake turned on the light illuminating the room. “Hee, what’s going on? “

“I said fucking go,” he yelled, making Jake jump in his spot. “Just go.” he broke down in tears, sobbing quietly as he pulled the blankets over his head.

“O-okay, we’re going.” Jake put his hands up, slowly backing out of the room along with Jay as they quietly shut the door and left.

“What the fuck?” Jay said once they both got outside.

“Yeah,” Jake sighed.

That incident was about two weeks ago, and there was still no sign of him at work, and he wasn’t answering his phone either.

As much as heeseung dreaded the idea, he still pulled himself out of bed to shower every now and then, and his diet consisted of water and stale crackers. basically, he was doing just enough to sustain himself.

Most of his time was spent crying or sleeping or having very vivid dreams, memories, and flashbacks of you and him together.

And that was it.

This was his life without you if you could even call it living.

“That’s it.” Jake slams his computer shut, gathering the attention of Jay and his other coworkers.

“What the hell, Jake?”

“Shut up. I’m going to Heeseung’s house. Are you coming or not?” He says, snatching up his suit jacket.

“What for?” Jay asked while he lowered his specs.

“I hate you.” Jake glared at him, heading straight for the elevator.

“Why?” He asks as Jake gets further and further away, he follows his coworker scrambling to get his jacket on. “Why?!”

This time, the door was actually locked cause they locked it before they left, and this time, Jake didn’t waste any time kicking the door open and heading straight upstairs, where his friend was withering away.

“Get out,” heeseung says.

“Nope, not today,” Jake storms into his room, flicking all the lights on and ripping open the curtains, letting some light in finally.

“What the hell? I said Get out,” heeseung shouted.

“No!” Jake shouted back, taking heeseung by surprise. “Look at yourself. What the hell is happening to you?”

Heeseung went silent, turning his head away from the two.

“Stop! You can’t just keep shutting us out like this.” he ripped the covers off of Heeseung’s body, revealing his frail frame.

“Just leave me alone, Jake. I’m fine.” he said quietly as he sat up on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest.

Jake knew this was more than an invasion of privacy, but he had it up to here. First, heeseung was drinking himself to death, and now this, he wasn’t going to take it anymore. He refused to stand on the sidelines watching heeseung throw his life away. He walked over to the bed, grabbing Heeseung’s shoulders, and forcing him to stand up. “Jake, don’t yo-“

“Be quiet, Jay,” Jake says angrily while guiding Heeseung to stand in front of his wall mirror.

Heeseung quietly gasped at his appearance. The reality of what he was doing to himself finally set in as he quickly turned away.

“You think we want this for you? You think y/n wants this for you?”

“Y/n,” Heeseung whispered, tears gathering in his eyes. He was so caught up in the past that he hadn’t even thought about you in the present. He didn’t know what you were up to these days.

Jake’s eyes softened as he guided heeseung to the edge of the bed. “Tell us what happened,” Jake encouraged him. “You’re always helping us, and we never help you, so let us return the favor.”

“Yeah, besides, you owe me the details on your date.” Jay tried his best to smile as he closed the bedroom and joined them on the bed.

Heeseung nodded softly after they knocked some sense into him. “Okay,” he says, opening up to the idea a lot easier than he would have imagined, but he knew he needed help. He knew he needed someone to talk to other than a still picture frame.

It was nightfall by the time they had finished talking, and to say a lot had happened between the two of you would be an understatement.

And they realized it wasn’t so much the initiated divorce that turned Heeseung into the person he is now. It was more less the guilt eating away at him, and, of course, being cooped up all by himself in the silence of his house for days was not helping his case one bit.

But they were determined to get him on his feet and hopefully get you both back together because it sounded like a lot of self-pity and a large sum of miscommunication and unfortunate circumstances.

Not to mention, heeseung was literally deluding himself into thinking he wasn’t good enough for you, and that was a whole new can of worms that, on top of the fact that he was basically the reason why things weren’t moving forward with you both it sounded hopeful all he needed to do was be persistent cause obviously the love was there, but every time his guilt kept getting in the way of that, leaving him where he is right now crying in the arms of his friends but everything was soon going to change.

“Okay, so we’re gonna make a plan for you to get y/n back.” Heeseung shook his head back and forth, not even trying to give the idea a chance. Lucky for him, he’s got two friends that actually care about his emotional ass. “Yes, we are.”

“Indeed we are,” Jay agreed. “But first things first, go take a shower before I lose my sense of smell.”

“You think I look okay?” Heeseung nervously checked himself out in the mirror one last time.

“You look fine. Stop worrying about that,” Jay scolded. “Do you have it?”

“I do” heeseung replied nervously. “Thanks, guys. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” he gave them a long, big hug.

“You’d be ten pounds lighter, in bed, and unshowered,” Jay jokes but gives him a hug, nevertheless dropping his hard exterior for once.

Heeseung chuckled softly. “Remember what we said,” Jake reminded him of the conversation they had had days ago.

Heeseung nodded.

“Okay, now go get her back.” Jake smiled, making it sound so simple, moments later they headed off, driving heeseung to his destination.

He was so grateful for them helping him. Not only did they help pick an outfit and gift for you, but they even counseled him and gave him advice. Now, all that was left to do was to put it into action, and right now, he felt like he could take on the world, and this time, he wasn’t leaving until you took him back. “This is it.” he took a deep breath, waving bye to Jake and Jay as they backed out of the driveway.

A few seconds later, he knocked on your door.

You sat on your bed blankly, staring at the positive pregnancy test in your hand, thoughts muddied as you wondered where to go from here. You haven’t told anyone yet, only finding out today after you missed yet another period. The gears started turning, and it only made sense that you were pregnant after the symptoms you were experiencing the missed periods, and the fact that you didn’t use any protection the last time you had sex.

You wanted to deny it at first, brushing it off, saying you just weren’t feeling good and that missed periods happened sometimes, but deep down, you knew you were just trying to delay the inevitable, but with the positive test in your hand, there was no more getting around it.

You were pregnant.

You wanted to tell someone, but you also were so overwhelmed by the new information, and the tears would not stop flowing. You were so happy that you were going to have a baby, but at the same time, you were nervous, given your current circumstances.

You were about to call your mom, but a soft knock on your door stopped you from doing so. You cleared your throat and quickly hid the test under your pillow. “Come in.”

The door soon swung open, revealing no other than.

“Heeseung?”

Thanks for reading likes comments and reblogs are always appreciated sorry for any typos or errors I hope you all have a good day/night♥️

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squirmhoney · 6 months

Text

SWEET SERIAL KILLER - SPOOK'TOBER FIC

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Niece! Reader Warning: Dark, Non-Con, Dub con, Incest choking, spanking. Crying 18+ serial killer!Aemond. MDNI A/N: I wrote this as if it was set in America. So reader and Aemond are 18 and in their final year of school just to clarify. I was editing this but it was taking so long and every time i read it, i hated it even more. So I'm really sorry for all the mistakes but I hope you enjoy it.

There was a soft pitter-patter of the rain when you stirred in the night. On the brink of sleep you thought you heard a creak of a door, the possibility of someone just getting in. But in your dazed state, it was the last thing on your mind.

You were fully awoken from a loud tap against your window, too harsh on contact to be the rain. And when it happened again, you were quick to stumble out of your bed to find the source.

Instantly you recognised the dark figure in your garden, already trying to climb the tree to get to your window. His shit eating grin was the first thing to greet you as you reluctantly opened your window for him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Cregan whispered, teasing you.

“You shouldn’t be here,” You hissed, shaking your head at him but moving out of his way just the same. “It’s late.”

“I wanted to see my girlfriend,” Cregan drew closer, capturing your lips in a soft kiss. One that became heated in seconds, especially with his hand holding the back of your neck to pull you in closer.

You pushed against his chest, before your head became dizzy and it became hard to think.

Cregan let out a small groan as his lips left yours but let you slip away anyway.

“It must be like three am, Cregan,” you told him, rubbing your eyes as you sat back down on the bed.

“It’s two-thirty,” he stated, shrugging his shoulders as if it didn’t matter.

“You can’t be here,” your voice was small, knowing what you were really trying to say.

“I’m starting to think that you don’t love me anymore,” Cregan’s voice grew louder and your body grew tense at the thought of him waking your grandparents in the other room.

“It’s not that,” you told him, watching him as he glared out of your window. “I just want to wait and you know that. You told me you would be okay with that.”

“I am okay with that,” He sighed, taking a step towards you. His fingers trailed down your face, lingering longer as they reached your throat. “But sometimes it feels like you don’t even want to kiss me.”

“I like kissing you,” You lifted your chin, gazing into those big round brown eyes of his. “It’s just I’m worried sometimes that you want more and I-” You bit on your lip, eyes closing before you said it, “I can’t give you more.”

When he leaned down, capturing your lips again, you were more than happy to give in. With Cregan things just felt right, even a kiss had your toes curling at times.

But you weren’t ready just yet and you weren’t the girl to be pressured into anything. You didn’t care that you were in senior year and that everyone else had already done it. None of that mattered to you and the more you felt pressured into it, the less you felt the desire to do it.

“I don’t need more,” He reassured you.

But you just didn’t believe him, not when he was creeping into your house in the dark of the night.

Your hands were pushing him away again, this time towards the direction of the window.

“You need to go.”

He rolled his eyes at that. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Before he climbed back outside, he gave you another peck, making you unable to hide your smile.

Like always around eight you stood by Aemonnd’s car, waiting for him to stride out of the house so you could both leave. And after at least ten minutes, he stepped out of the front door, looking unusually dishevelled compared to his normal fresh look.

When he finally walked past you, giving you a grunt for a greeting, you could tell something was off. Especially with his messy braid and the heavy bags hanging around his eyes, it wasn’t like him at all. Not in the last year anyway, unless he had been slipping into bad habits.

“You look dreadful, Aemond,” you stated, opening the car door and slipping in beside him.

Aemond didn’t really say anything, instead he started the car as if you hadn’t even spoken.

“Seriously?” You reached your hand out, placing it over his on the wheel. “Don’t just ignore me.”

“I struggled to sleep last night,” He let out in a huff, clearly not wanting to discuss it any further.

“Do you think it’s to do with the end of our senior year?” You asked, hoping to get through to him. “I know you’re still waiting for your acceptance letter from Volantis but there’s no way that you didn’t get in.”

“Just drop it, Y/N,” He snapped, driving away from your house now.

His voice cut through you, his anger seeping into your skin. You hated the way it made you feel, staring back at him with watery eyes, half expecting him to apologise. But he never did.

It wasn’t until you were slamming his door closed, that you could finally feel the heat of his stare. But with you out of reach he could only stutter on his unspoken words before truly realising you it was too late.

Cregan was waiting for you when you stepped out of the car and you were too eager to slip underneath his arm ready for him to drag you away. He liked it when you were like this, a little broken down so he could build you back up again.

“Good morning, babe,” Cregan grinned, squeezing your side a bit more as he walked you both in.

Even though you wanted to inwardly cringe at the pet name, you didn’t, giving him a small smile instead.

“Don’t tell me. Aemond?” He asked, sensing the drop in your mood.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” You brushed it off. “Let’s just get to class.”

Something hadn’t been sitting right as soon as you hit school that morning and your best friend, Cassie, wasn’t there to greet you. But that awful pit at the bottom of your stomach was more noticeable as you stared into Mr Hughes sympathetic gaze when he guided you to the hallway.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

“No,” You let out in a harsh breath, tears already streaming down your cheeks. “No, just no.”

You just knew.

Everything was a blur after that, you weren’t sure if he was still speaking or not but you couldn’t hear him.

You had collapsed onto the floor, sobs shaking through your body and there was nothing you could do to contain yourself. All you kept telling yourself was this wasn’t true, this couldn’t be happening.

Hands were trying to pull you up after a while but you shoved them away, unwilling to move from your spot.

“Babe, it’s me,” You heard Cregan’s voice through your tears. “Let’s take you home.”

“No,” You said in between a sob, fighting him off as he tried to pull you in.

His voice became more urgent after this, angry even as he tried again. “Come on, you don’t want to do this here.”

But you still weren't listening.

Then you felt his grip tighten, becoming painful as he forcibly tried to move you. You could feel his lips get closer to your ears, ready to whisper something but you weren’t trying to hear.

“Get off of her.”

You recognised Aemond’s voice instantly and your chin lifted up to look up at him.

Upon seeing Aemond you felt your boyfriend’s grip loosen on you, allowing you to practically leap into Aemond’s arms in front of you. He held you tight to him as you cried into his chest, a mix of tears and snot ruining his t-shirt as he dragged your limp body off of school grounds.

Aemond didn’t need to do much, his presence was enough for you anyway. After hours of being curled up into his chest in your bed, you managed to calm down to uneven breaths.

There was a warmth about him, especially when his fingers trailed heavily patterns into the bare skin of your back. It’s like you could exist there forever, in his arms.

Your stomach dropped a bit at the thought, even in your saddened state, your mind fought with you not to think like that. It’s how you found yourself turning away from him on the bed, rolling to the other side and mouthing a little “I’m tired.”

In reality you didn’t want him to go, to leave you there alone. But you knew in your state you needed space to breathe, to think, before you allowed yourself to wander to a place unforgivable.

It was five days later that they found Criston’s body, after all that time suspecting him to be the killer. It would be on the news on the days after that they’d be setting a town curfew, afraid there was some serial killer on the loose ready to strike again.

It was two weeks later when you received a message from some other friends, telling you that they were all throwing a party to remember them both. Best to stick in numbers, your boyfriend had called you and said, that way we’d be safer if there was a serial killer about.

You didn’t know you had been convinced to come, but after two weeks of being locked in your room, struggling with doing the bare minimum you thought it was time to get out. It also might have been to do with your other problem, the man that was doing everything and anything to make you feel better. But you tried to drown that situation out with a few drinks of beer, until a few turned into too many.

“Want me to get you another one?” Cregan asked, having you practically sitting on his lap, his hands feeling up the bare skin of your thighs.

When his finger grazed underneath your skirt a bit, you felt your stomach churn at the thought of another drink. One more and you might end up somewhere you had been fighting not to be for months now.

“Or we could...” His eyes shifted and your gaze followed it to the stairs.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” You grimaced, pushing yourself up off of him and almost tripping over in the process.

“You okay, babe?” He called out for you but you were quick to slap his hand away.

“I need to go to the toilet,” you said back, walking as fast as you could to the nearest vacant toilet.

You mumbled apologises on your way there, stumbling over people and trying to keep your balance stable on the wall. When you managed to slip into the toilet, you were quick to try and lock the door behind you.

Unfortunately a foot got jammed in the way and when you were thrown back by a stronger force, your heart stopped for a minute.

“Toilet taken,” you snapped, trying to push whoever was trying to get in back out.

But when a familiar sight of long silver hair caught your eyes, you felt your heart calm down just a tad.

“I thought you were my boyfriend,” You told him, hand placed against your chest.

“Hiding from him?” Aemond questioned, locking the door behind him. “I don’t think that’s normal, Y/N.”

“What would you know about it?” You asked him, slurring your words slightly.

Aemond shrugged his shoulders, sitting on the edge of the bathtub as his eyes began to watch you. “I don’t think any girl should feel like they should run away from their boyfriend.”

He was right, he always was.

You couldn’t deny how good he looked tonight, hair tied up behind his ears in a bun and he was wearing that t-shirt you had bought him for his last birthday. The one that was tight around his figure, lifting up at the edges if he made any move.

“You're staring,” Aemond stated, tilting his head to the side.

“You don’t ever stare?” You squinted your eyes at him, taking a few slow steps until you were stood between his legs. “Ever?”

He chuckled at this, chin lifting up to look at you. “You know I stare.”

You were sharing a smile, one that had your head spinning in circles with the amount of liquor in your system.

“Y/N.” It was a warning, one you were so eager to ignore.

“Don’t.” You shook your head, feeling hurt at him trying to push you away. “I know what I want.”

Your foreheads rested against each other, breaths mingling as one. You weren’t sure who closed the distance, that didn’t matter when his lips wrapped around yours and he was using his hand on the back of your neck to pull you in. All you could think about was the slip of his tongue against yours, the way his other hand held onto your inner thigh to keep you balanced.

Everything just felt right, until a blood curdling scream from the other room made it seem like it didn’t.

You stumbled back, breathless as you walked over to the door.

Aemond was quick to push you behind him, opening the door a tad before looking around the hall.

No one else seemed to be affected by the scream and when another one came, you realised it was only a horror movie being played on the TV screen.

“Seriously,” you heard your boyfriend’s voice from beside you.

He looked pissed, nose flaring as he took the sight of both of you in.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere but of course you go crying to him,” Cregan practically shouted, clenching his fist as he took a step closer to Aemond. “I don’t get it. Seeing as he upsets you half the time but you still look to him for comfort.”

“Cregan, please,” you pleaded with him, not wanting to have an argument in front of so many people.

But Cregan wasn’t the only one ready for an argument, Aemond grinding his teeth against each other as he stood in front of you.

“Well seeing as you’ve spent most of the night trying to get her drunk so you can get in her pants, rather than being there for her, yeah I think she’d rather come to me for comfort,” Aemond spat in his face.

“Like you wouldn’t do the same,” Cregan grinned, chest to chest with your uncle.

“She’s my fucking niece,” Aemond shoved him back.

When Cregan looked like he was about to fight back, you stepped in front of Aemond, stopping it from going any further.

“Let’s go,” you told Aemond, tugging at his hand to take you away from here.

“I know that,” Cregan piped up again, “But I think you forget that.”

You didn’t remember reaching home that night, probably because along the way you had fallen asleep in Aemond’s car. It was only hours later did you wake up, unsure what exactly woke you apart from the bitter taste and the dryness that was left in your mouth.

You found yourself stumbling to the bathroom, less inebriated than you were a few hours earlier but still slightly intoxicated.

All you wanted was a fresh glass of water, and maybe a damp cloth to wash your face. But before you even realised that the bathroom was occupied, you were stepping into the bathroom, only noticing the clouds of steam covering your sight.

“Hello?” Aemond called out, poking his head around the shower walls.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise you were in here,” you told him, becoming bashful under his stare. “I just came to get some water. I-” You rubbed at your temples, trying to focus on what you were trying to stay.

“You startled me, that’s all,” Aemond said, stepping back into the shower.

“Struggling to sleep again?” You asked, taking a step closer towards him.

“Something like that.”

Every fibre in your body was pushing you forward, maybe it was the alcohol still in your system or maybe this was just what you truly wanted. All that you knew was you weren’t going to let this moment slip away.

You were peeling off your clothes before you could think, throwing them to the side before stepping in. Through the steam you could make out his defined back, muscles tensing at his shoulders as he hunched over against the shower wall.

“Aemond,” you whispered, hand pressing against his bare shoulder letting him know you were there.

He turned away, eye widening at the sight of you before him.

You were scared in that moment, fearful of his rejection as you let the water run over you.

But Aemond was quick to pull you in, switching your places as he pressed you against the wall. Within moments his mouth was against yours again, full of need as he drank you in. You were so willing to give him everything back, opening your mouth eagerly for his tongue and moaning into his mouth like some pathetic whore.

You whined when Aemond pulled away, lips moving over the naked skin of your neck as it started to nibble and suck on the skin there. He was making a hungry path, all the way down to your chest until he was feasting on your breasts.

“Aemond, I’ve never-” You were trying to tell him, only to get choked on the words when his thigh pushed against your mound.

“I know,” he said with your nipple still in his mouth, flicking his tongue against your sensitive bud. “I’ll take care of you, don’t worry.”

That’s all you needed to hear, finding yourself already a mess as you began to hump his leg. You could feel his grin against your breasts and you couldn’t help but watch him with parted lips as you tried to fuck yourself against his thigh.

“So needy for me,” Aemond chuckled, groping at your ass as he lifted himself up from your chest. He leaned away when you tried to take a kiss, shaking his head as he kept his distance. “I want to watch your face when I do this.”

“Do what?” You asked, hands clasping around his neck.

All he did was smile at you, his hands doing all the talking as they trailed between your thighs. “This.” You felt his hand cup your cunt, making you sharply inhale at the touch.

But instead of pushing him away like you had so many times with your own boyfriend, you begged him to continue. “Please.”

“Anything for my beautiful niece,” he whispered against your lips, slipping a finger into your wet cunt.

At first it was painful and you winced at the touch but Aemond was gentle, taking his time to stretch your walls out for him. It was soon after one finger turned into two and his palm was making good work of rubbing against your clit. You couldn’t help but moan for him, fluttering your eyes at the feel of him massaging your walls.

“Fuck,” He breathed, thrusting a bit faster into you. “You’re so pretty when you moan like that.”

“Really?” You asked him, needing simple reassurance.

“Yeah,” Aemond answered with no hesitation, eyes watching your every expression. “So fucking pretty.”

Your hand reached out towards him, sliding down his torso until you reached just above where you wanted to be.

“You don’t have to.” Aemond was quick to say, stopping you with his free hand.

“I want to though,” You told him, biting on your bottom lip. “Help me make you feel good.”

Instead of pushing you away Aemond guided your hand towards him, wrapping it around his hard cock till you had a firm enough grasp that he liked. You didn’t need instruction from there, slowly stroking him up and down.

Aemond grinded his teeth down, using his free hand to hold himself up against the wall beside you. When you used your other hand, his breathing became erratic joining yours as your fingers ran along over his tip.

“I don’t think I’ll last long with you touching me,” He told you, groaning when you started to pick up the pace.

“Good.”

You felt a surge of confidence run through you at this, only to be taken away when Aemond curled his fingers inside of you. He couldn’t be letting you have all the power, and his smile only grew wider as his thrusts became harder, watching you crumble at the way he was making you feel.

Your stomach was fluttering at this, eyes rolling back as you both tried to push each other to climax.

It was you that was first to cum, unable to stop yourself with the way Aemond was ripping moans out of your throat. Your walls spasmed around him as you did, legs trembling as if they were about to collapse from underneath you.

That must have been enough for Aemond, feeling him spill around your hand as he gasped into your mouth.

You were both spent after that, unable to part from each other as you let the hot water run along your naked skin. It wasn’t till Aemond was turning off the water that you parted, only for a second for Aemond to find a towel for you both.

You spent the night together, limbs wrapped around each other as you laid out in his bed. Too tired to speak of what had just happened, finding it too easy to sink into each other’s embrace and pretend this wasn’t really as bad as it was.

Cregan’s death didn’t hit you as hard as it probably should have, what really did was finding out that he was the real murderer after all. It should have brought you peace to know that Cassandra’s murderer had been found. But the gruesome circumstances that it had all came to light, was what you couldn’t get your head around.

Just to think if you stayed at that party an hour longer, one of those deaths could have been you.

Six people died that night, people you hadn’t been particularly close to but you had known since you were five. They had all been Cregan’s closest friends and each one of them had suffered in some gruesome way at the mercy of his hands.

When the police found Cregan, he was still taking out his last victim. They had shot him where he was, hunched over Sandra Clark’s body, unfortunately through the injuries suffered, it was too late for her. The police and the community had just been glad that the killer had been caught, allowing the neighbourhood to finally be at peace with this whole situation.

It was Aemond that told you. You practically begged him to tell you everything, even when it made him uncomfortable to see your distraught face or pained to hold you to his chest as you broke down for what felt like the hundredth time. But you needed to make peace with it, to finally be able to let it all go.

After that you and Aemond were inseparable, barely spending any time away from each other. The last month of senior year was hard but Aemond was your guiding light all the way through it and all there was left was a few more months of summer till you both left to go to Volantis together.

A few more months, you had repeated to yourself as you stared at your empty gaze in the mirror.

“You’ll be okay,” Aemond reassured you, gently squeezing your shoulder from behind you.

“Yeah,” You nodded in agreement, turning to face him. “I just wish you could be there.”

“I know,” Aemond whispered, brushing your noses together before giving you a small peck.

“But it will probably be good for me to see Cassie’s parents just by myself,” you said, nibbling on the inside of your cheek.

Aemond pinched your chin, keeping your gaze locked with his. “And I’ll be there to pick you up.”

“Thank you,” you mouthed before pressing your lips against his again.

Cassie’s parents were doing better than you had imagined.

Her mother had pulled you to the tightest hug as soon as she saw you, not even noticing the flowers you held in your hand, just happy to see you standing there.

Her father had also pulled you into an embrace, telling you how happy they both were to see you.

You stood with them through the whole ceremony, letting her mother clutch onto your hand as she held in any sobs. It was silent streams of tears that flowed over her cheeks, ones that matched yours.

It was only at the end when you really spoke about the tragedy, alone with her mother and a drink in both of your hands.

She didn’t seem distraught as before, instead she spoke through a clenched jaw and gritted teeth.

“They won’t tell us what happened that night,” Cassie’s mother told you, blinking away her tears. “I mean I know that he killed all those poor souls but they won’t go into much more detail than that.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing with confusion.

“They’re still trying to keep some of the details hidden. I think the parents have been told but apart from that.” She shrugged her shoulders, taking another sip of her glass of wine.

You didn’t seem to understand, seeing as Aemond had already told you what happened.

“I guess they tell one person and then everyone knows,” She seemed to chuckle at this but not in a pleasant way. “Just how small towns work I suppose.”

You were taken aback by a loud beep, looking behind you to find Aemond already parked up to pick you up like he promised. But you weren’t as happy to see him there, a tense feeling sitting at the bottom of your stomach at the sight of him.

When you stepped into the car, you flinched away from Aemond’s touch, blaming it on you being out of it the whole day. But nothing really changed when you reached the house even as you hoped that gut feeling would go away.

It didn’t.

And that’s when you found yourself looking through his things, sliding through drawers and his washing baskets just to find something that would help settle your racing mind. You almost gave up in the end, not finding anything until something slipped out of one of his trouser pockets, falling out into your hand.

It was a silver chain, with your initials engraved into a heart onto it and you instantly recognised it. The sight of it made your stomach churn and your legs began to move before your mind could truly grasp what you were doing.

He heard you before he saw you, still cooking away at the stove not needing to turn around. “My mum and dad are out for the night, going to visit Helaena.”

When you didn’t creep up behind him, to wrap your arms around him like you usually would, he turned to look at you. At first he didn’t notice the chain in your hand, too focused on your glassy eyes as you stared at him.

“What’s wrong?” He turns the hobs off, pushing the pan to the side so he can move over to you.

You flinched away when he tried to reach for you, a single tear sliding down your cheek as you said, “Tell me the truth.”

He shook his head, eyebrows furrowing at confusion until you lifted your hand holding out the chain in front of him.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” You begged him, tears lodged in your throat making it for you to even breathe. “Tell me that this isn’t what I think it is.”

Aemond’s eyes narrow at you and his silence tells you everything you need to know.

“Why?” You sobbed, backing away as he tried to reach out for you again.

“It’s not what you think,” He promised you, raising his hands up in front of you.

“The police haven’t gone into detail with anyone about what happened that night.” You were piecing everything together, the puzzle finally making sense in your head. “But you knew every detail. That’s not possible unless-” You didn’t want to say it. “Unless you were there.”

“Listen to me,” Aemond demanded, stalking you through the hallway.

“That night I found you in the shower.” You were barely able to look at him, trying to blink through the tears that flooded your eyes. Your stomach was churning at the next realisation that came from your lips. “You drove back there after dropping me here. Then you got back here and you were showering because-”

You dropped the chain that was in your hand, head swarming with thoughts. You could barely see him through your thick tears, unable to see how close he was getting to you.

“You killed them, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

Something screamed at you then, your mind finally catching up with you from that single statement. And you found yourself darting towards the stairs, throwing yourself up them to get away from him.

“Really?” Aemond seemed unimpressed by this, not even bothering to chase after you. Instead he took long slow steps, loud so you could hear him making his way towards you.

But you thought you were safe when you got to your bedroom, locking the door behind you.

You stared at the door knob, watching it twist and turn but not open. You were fine, you tried to tell yourself, there wasn’t anyway that he could get in.

But then the click of the clock sounded and you felt yourself sob harder as Aemond broke in.

“Angel, you didn’t really think you could shut me out that easily.”

You were uncomfortable, hands tied behind your back as Aemond folded you into position. He had already stripped you of all clothes, ripping them to shreds with his bare hands.

“I did it for you,” Aemond admitted, peppering kisses all over your back. “All of it was for you.”

You sobbed harder at his confession, wishing you could drown it out completely.

His hand was groping at your backside, taking a handful of your ass cheek before slipping between the crease. You hated how gentle he was being, taking his time with you as if he was savouring every single moment.

Why couldn’t he be like all the other men you heard about? Just taking what they wanted and being done with you.

“Everything I’ve done in this life has been for you.”

“Stop,” You screamed, feeling his fingers trail between your folds. “Please, Aemond.” It was a pathetic attempt, you had a better job when you dug your nails into the skin of his face, but even that had failed in the end.

He ignored the pleas from your lips, taking his time to sink his finger into your slightly damp walls. “You need to relax.”

As he forced another finger in, you tensed more, hoping that your tight walls would push him out. If that was even possible.

It was only a matter of time that your walls would accept him and Aemond had all the time in the world.

“Aemond, please just stop.” You were desperate, struggling to get your words out between harsh breaths. “It hurts.”

That’s when you felt it, a sharp sting as his hand connected with your ass. He didn’t stop there, bringing it down against both cheeks until you were too busy biting down squeals to speak.

“I’m done explaining myself to you,” Aemond growled, smoothing a hand over your cheeks. “Just be grateful for what I’ve done for you.”

His fingers plunged themselves deeper, moving around to make space that wasn’t there until he was able to fit a third finger inside with ease. With each thrust you felt your toes curling harder as you fought off the intense feeling that was surging through your stomach.

“There we go,” Aemond whispered, slipping his fingers from your hole.

While you wished this was over, you knew it wasn’t. In a second you were flipped over, back being pressed into the mattress as Aemond hovered over you. It hurt to even look at him and so you closed your eyes, hoping he would disappear.

“Please stop crying,” Aemond was the one begging now, kissing your wet cheeks as he pushed your damp strands of hair out of your face. “Please I don’t want you to cry anymore.”

“You’re the one making me cry,” you told him, finally opening your eyes to look up at him. “You’re the one that’s doing this to me.”

“I love you,” Aemond told you and you knew it was true.

And in some sick way, you loved him too.

“Please don’t do this,” it was the last time you would beg for him to stop that night. “Please.”

“I’m sorry.”

You weren’t if he meant it, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before wrapping your legs around his waist.

As much as you wanted to cry harder, you couldn’t. There were no more tears left for you to cry.

“Why?” You asked him, as he grinded his hips down into yours.

You didn’t know why you were asking now, with his penis pressing up against you. But this was already a truly awful moment and if there was any way you could make it horrible for him, you would.

“Why did you do it?”

“Do you really want to know?” He questioned, jaw ticking at the thought of it.

“Yes,” You spat.

His hand grabbed your chin, fingers digging into your cheeks. “This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.”

“I don’t think you could hurt me anymore,” you told him through squeezed cheeks.

“Cregan was simple, he touched something that just didn’t belong to him. I was always going to go for him first but he was so thick that I just knew it would be easier to pin it all on him,” He told you, pressing his tip against your folds. He let go of your chin, using that hand to slide his cock across your cunt, making your breath hitch each time he flicked over your bundle of nerves. “The rest of them that were there that night. Well they just made it more believable, they were just means to an end for me.”

You knew what was coming and you couldn’t even bear to look at him as he spoke her name.

He leaned down now, lips pressed against your ear as he said, “Cassie was the one that I originally hated. Always steering you away from me, telling you to go to a different college or hang out with different people.”

He forced himself into your walls, groaning at how tight you were around him while you were biting on your tongue as you winced, wishing this would already be over now.

“We both wanted you to ourselves. But I had you first and I wasn’t just going to let her win. She was a bad friend anyway, she was the one that got you to start dating that bastard. The one that was pressuring you to do things you weren’t truly comfortable with. You needed a way out and I found you one.”

“I hate you,” You screamed, pushing your hips back trying to escape. “I hate you.”

“You and I both know that’s not true,” Aemond told you, hands grabbing you hips as he pulled you both up.

He sat up, having you on his lap as he held you up like a his own personal fuck doll. There was nowhere to look as held onto you, keeping you in place as he thrusted himself upwards, holding you tightly to his chest. He was grinning at you and you knew it was all to do with the intimacy of the position knowing you had nowhere else to look if it wasn’t at him. Your head rested against his for basic stability and you swallowed the bile in your throat as he kissed your lips again.

“We will get back to how things were,” He promised, between strangled grunts, setting a brutal unforgivable pace. “It may take us a while but we will get there.”

You wanted to tell him no, that it wasn’t true. But with how deep he was pushing himself inside you, had you too busy biting down moans that were threatening to spill from your mouth.

But after a while you couldn’t hold them back, letting the lewd noises be torn from the back of your throat as your walls clenched around them. You tried to move away as his lips pecked the corner of your mouth, but Aemond wasn’t going to let you go that easy. He twisted his hand in your hair, the sharp pain yanking your head into position to look at him so he could wrap his lips around yours again.

“I hate-” you mumbled into his lips, only to be cut off when he delivered a nasty thrust, slamming up into your walls.

“You love me,” He panted into your mouth.

You tried to hum a no but he was kissing you again, not allowing you to speak against him. He pushed you back onto the bed, keeping you both chest to chest as he used one hand to hold onto your throat.

“Tell me you love me,” he demanded between a lodged sob. “Say it.”

When he squeezed your throat, you felt fear for the first time. It had all been sadness at the reality of what he had done and who he was. But never had you believed Aemond would be willing to physically hurt you, not just rape you, but to be violent with you just to get what he wanted. Even through the sex, he had tried to be gentle, to make this as painless for you as possible.

But with his hand wrapped around your throat, tightening it until you couldn’t breathe, you realised this man was capable of so much more. And he was going to prove that to you.

“I-” you tried to speak, eyes widening to plead with him as you wheezed for breath.

Then you felt it, your thighs clamping around him as your cunt gushed around his cock. As much as you hadn’t wanted to cum, it became a relief when it finally hit you, feeling his hand loosening around your throat.

The next thing you knew was you were gasping for breath, while Aemond was cumming inside of you. His pace became sloppy as he came into your walls, letting out the most feral moan as he collapsed beside you.

Aemond finally moved after a few minutes, lifting his head to look at you properly. His mouth fell open as his fingers slid against your neck and he was quick to apologise as he realised what he did.

“Fuck, I didn’t mean to,” He hissed, pulling you towards his chest as he held you. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

He was trying to make you feel better, holding you like he had done many times before over the last few months. But this time it didn’t feel like you were the one that was being comforted but instead it was him.

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen imagine #dark aemond targaryen #dark aemond smut #dark aemond x reader #squirmsspooktoberevent

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bchan95 · 4 months

Text

Peace (Bang Chan x Y/N)

A little angsty, based on Taylor Swift's Peace as requested here

You twirled the straw in your drink as you watched the clock. It was nearing 11 p.m. and you still hadn’t heard from him. You checked your phone. No notifications.

It wasn’t anything new. Chris had always taken his time in the studio. He was a perfectionist at heart and he’d stay in that broken-down gaming chair until the early hours of the morning. Only coming home to wash his face, kiss your cheek and fall asleep.

You knew better than to wait up for him. You knew that creating this large meal, splurging on the good champagne and then sitting at the dining room table that night for him. But here you are, in your best dress, with a watered-down drink and a dejected spirit.

You knew you couldn’t blame him. You knew what you signed up for when you said yes to being his girlfriend. You knew that it would take time and energy out of your life waiting for him to come home. As every good musician's girlfriend does. But it doesn’t make it hurt less when things fall through. When he doesn’t call. When you go to bed alone.

You blew out the candle to your left, downed the rest of your drink and walked away from the table, picking up dishes as you go. You rinse your empty plate in the sink, wrapping his in tinfoil and setting it in the fridge. Walking upstairs, you’re met with the slow, soft music that you’d been playing on a playlist for hours, with the hopes of delighting in the soft jazz sounds with the love of your life later in the evening.

You lower the volume and walk over to the bathroom. Wiping a wet cloth across your face, you look at the reflection staring at you in the mirror. What a pitiful excuse for a smile, you thought, as the corners of your mouth forced themselves upward. Makeup gone, you scrub the skin with your cleanser and rinse it clean in the sink. As you lean down to wash the water across your face, you feel hands slowly wrap around your waist.

“Baby, I’m sorry.”

You sigh quietly, instructing him to grab you a towel. He does, and you quickly dry your face before turning to face him. You look at the dark circles under his eyes, dragging your fingers across the creases as you stare at his hollow expression. He looked exhausted, and your heart immediately sent a pinch to your chest.

“Chan…”

He interrupts you, “I know I messed up. Again. I always do.” His hands shift to your waist again, keeping his eyes on you.

“It’s okay,” the only words you can get out before your voice catches, tears welling in the corners of your eyes.

Chan immediately pulls you closer, his hand reaching up and holding your head. He rubbed soft circles with his thumb on your scalp as he felt you start to shake. he bit his lip and let you cry. Your tears dampen his shirt as he hushes you softly.

Finally, you come back up to meet his eyes. Yours now dry and red, you’re sure you look like a mess. But as you gaze into him, you see the same familiar haze looking back at you. It’s enough to produce tears for you once again, but you hold back the emotion from spilling out again.

“Will it ever get easier?” You say, hands playing with the hem of his t-shirt as he kisses your head.

“What do you mean baby?”

Your lip quivers as you think over your response. Your hand stops its movements, and you slowly meet his gaze again.

“Missing you… missing us.” You lifted your head up to stop tears from forming again. “I- I’m just having a hard time with you not coming home... not showing up."

You look back down at him and he nods, pulling you closer to him. He presses a soft kiss to your lips.

“Baby…” he sighs, kissing your neck softly. “I don’t know if it will get easier… but I’ll give you all I can now.”

Your breath hitches in your throat as he continues to kiss down your shoulder before meeting your eyes again. His eyes sprint across your face, trying to read your emotions but it drops below him as you look at your feet. He watches as you chew your bottom lip, your hands nervously touching his sides. He brings a hand to your chin, lifting your gaze.

“I promise to give you the world once I make it.”

You sigh. Knowing this speech all too well at this point. It’s the talk they always have when his intense schedules, his late-night travels, and his early morning writing sessions interfere with your life. You know that he means it, as much as he can right now. He’s shown you how much he loves you when he can. But it just can’t be all the time.

“I know…” You try to look away from him again, but his hand holds sturdy.

“Y/N, I mean it.” He searches your eyes for worry, but he can’t seem to find any clarification in the dark pools of brown. “I want to give you that ring you deserve. I want to give you that big wedding of your dreams. I want to create a home filled with beautiful babies with you.”

Your eyes go wide, a soft gasp leaving your mouth. “Babies?”

He nods, gaze shifting for a moment before returning. You can see the water fighting the urge to release itself behind his eyes.

He had never mentioned kids before. He had never mentioned a wedding. You let yourself indulge in this fantasy for a moment. Him dressed in black, you in a big ballgown of white... kissing at the altar after saying “I do.” You want that with him. You do.

But the nights alone, the uncertainty that comes with his tone when he gets home from an extremely rough day. The letdowns. The missteps. You wonder if the promise of those somedays can fix the now. Can fix the way your heart drops as you sit alone, watching him on TV, living out his dream without you.

Would it be enough to know that this will go away someday? That he promises it will all be worth it. To have a big home, with a garden and a dog and kids. Years of bliss after this hard work.

You sigh again, hands moving upward toward his shirt collar. You muster a soft smile on your face as you straighten the seams and brush the stray hairs that had fallen into the creases. You finally look back up at him again. He’s smiling down at you. You can tell that his cheer doesn’t meet his eyes either. But you won’t tell him you notice.

“Chan you always promise…” you start, wrapping your hands around his neck. “But I don’t know how long I can hold this promise. I miss you too much.”

His smile drops “Y/N, I don’t know what else I can do. I can just promise you that it will be different,” his arms circle your waistline, pulling you in to place a kiss on your forehead again.

“It won’t be perfect right now, but it’s what I have.”

You pull back from him and tilt your head up. You let your eyes travel to his lips and back up to his eyes, inviting him in. He takes note and leans down to press a kiss to your lips once again.

You can’t get yourself to pull away from him, letting his lips slot themselves between yours, kisses building in strength as he leads you over to the bed. As he hovers above you, you lean up to grab onto the small locket he holds around his neck. You open it to view the picture of you two inside. You close it again and tug him forward by the chain.

You may not know if this is enough. Your mind may change in time. But all you know is that you need his chaos, his presence, his absence in your life. And that would be enough, for now.

#bang chan fanfic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #bang chan x y/n #bang chan x reader #bang chan fluff #bang chan #bang chan x oc #stray kids x y/n #bangchan x y/n #bang chan angst

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frodo-with-glasses · 6 months

Text

More Reading Thoughts: Three Is Company

Frodo calling it “Our Birthday” is making me feel things. Oh would you look at the time, it’s Crying About Bilbo and Frodo O’Clock again TT~TT

It’s honestly such a mood that Frodo says to himself “I’m following Bilbo!” so he doesn’t have to think about “I’m carrying a thing of great evil into danger and unseen ends”. Me too, Frodo. Me too.

“And see that Sam Gamgee does not talk. If he does, I really shall turn him into a toad.” 🤣

“Bilbo went to find a treasure, there and back again; but I go to lose one, and not return, as far as I can see.” OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME—

Also “and not to return” is so heartbreaking, especially knowing that by the time he gets to Mordor Frodo is fully expecting to die at the end of his journey TT^TT

“It may be your task to find the Cracks of Doom.” JUST DROP THAT FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE LIKE IT’S NOTHING, HUH, TOLKIEN??

Also teehee crack

Yes I am a twelve year old boy on the inside, moving on

The local shade towards the Sackville-Bagginses is HYSTERICAL

“Ah yes Merry is looking out for a house for me in Buckland.” INSTANCE #2 OF MERRY BEING ORGANIZATIONALLY GOATED

I’m honestly very impressed by how neatly Tolkien crafted Frodo’s backstory and interwove it into the story. The idea that he’s going back to Buckland where he grew up really does seem credible! None of the hobbits would suspect a thing! I almost have to wonder which came first in Tolkien’s mind, Frodo’s backstory or the fact that he’d need a good excuse to go East. It’s so well-crafted and it makes my writer brain happy.

F in the chat for Folco Boffin; we know your name and nothing else about you

Frodo draining the last of the wine like “lol at least the Sackville-Bagginses won’t get THIS!” is very funny to me

I have said it before, I’ll say it again, Frodo looking in the mirror and going “geez I’ve gotten fat” will NEVER NOT BE FUNNY

“Frodo did not offer [Lobelia] any tea.” I hereby name you Frodo Sassville-Baggins.

Aww, the Gaffer agreed to Sam going to Crickhollow to work for Frodo!

If only he knew just how far he was really going

“…though it did not console him for the prospect of having Lobelia as a neighbour.” o7 for the Gaffer, everybody

And they had tea by themselves and left the dishes for Lobelia 🤣 FRODO SASSVILLE-BAGGINS

“‘Coming, sir!’ came the answer from far within, followed soon by Sam himself, wiping his mouth. He had been saying farewell to the beer-barrel in the cellar.” LOL

Also I can’t blame him, knowing what he’s walking into

“He waved his hand, then turned and (following Bilbo, if he had known it) hurried after Peregrin down the garden-path.” OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE—

Frodo, whining: "My bag is so heavy" Sam, lying: "I could carry more, sir!" Pippin: "Oh no you don't, let him suffer"

Honestly the dynamic of this trio is super underrated LOL

I'm honestly not sure whether "well, we all like walking in the dark" is meant to be sarcastic or genuine—the way it's repeated later on makes me think it's genuine, but I can't be sure—so just to be safe I'm bringing the Frodo Sassville-Baggins score up to 2.5

I'm taking the time to read the walking bits slowly now, and honestly, the way Tolkien describes the countryside of the Shire is so beautiful. I want to go there, and I want to walk there, and I want to see what the hobbits are seeing. Every little piece of nature and topography elicits an emotion; from the enclosed safety of Hobbiton, cradled in its cozy little valley, to the great fir tree standing guard over the hobbits as they sleep, to the road winding endlessly on before them, promising still more work and beautiful scenery and adventures to come. Is this slow reading? Yes. But I love it so much.

Frodo wakes up and the first thing he does is grumble to himself about his back and neck. He really is an old man. I love him.

Honestly this entire scene is comedy gold

Frodo: "Wake up, hobbits! It's a beautiful morning." Pippin, a literal teenager: "What's so beautiful about it?" ROFLOL

Pippin, literally out in the middle of nowhere: "Sam, draw a bath!"

And for that, Frodo steals his blankets and makes him roll over. Frodo Sassville-Baggins score: 3.5

Pippin: "Water! Where's the water?" Frodo: "I don't keep water in my pockets!" SASSVILLE-BAGGINS SCORE: 4.5

And then he makes Pippin come get the water with him, since he wants it so badly. I love Exasperated Older Sibling Frodo and I wish we got to see so much more of it.

Pippin, after Frodo randomly bursts into poetry: "Wow, was that Bilbo's poetry, or yours? It's kind of a downer."

I'm so glad they kept the "it's dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door" line in the movies, because it really is so good.

Sam's canonically good hearing returns!

Frodo suggesting they prank Gandalf for being late is honestly so cute lol

Twice in this chapter we get the eucatastrophe of Frodo just barely not putting on the Ring, right at the last second. The first time, the Black Rider just walks off on his own, and the second time the Elves show up and scare him off. I will praise Frodo's virtues 'till Spring turns into Winter, but I think this is clear evidence right from the beginning that Frodo was not, and could not, be saved from the temptation of the Ring by any virtue of his own. He is saved; he does not save himself. All of which is honestly very Christian of Tolkien.

Pippin, to Frodo: "All right, keep your secrets!"

I love the walking song. I might do a revised recording of it, if you guys will tolerate my singing voice again X-D

Can we just acknowledge how bad*ss it is that Frodo sneaks up and spies on a Black Rider, just out of curiosity?? Like, I know this is more a feat of stupidity than it is of courage, but given everything we know about them by the end of the book, that is honestly WICKED cool.

Sam, having to be dragged back by his arms: "ELVES! ELVES!"

GILDOR!!

GILDOR MY UNDERRATED BESTIE

I can't wait to draw Gildor. He's gonna be so PRETTY

"But we have no need of other company, and hobbits are so dull" is so funny tho

The Elves, with all the love in their hearts: "You can't sit with us, you're boring!"

FINROD MY MAN

I have not read the Silmarillion, but I know enough about it to know that Finrod is the G.O.A.T.

The Elves: "You're being followed by Black Riders?? Okay you're coming with us now"

Frodo speaking the High-elven tongue like a NERD

I love him

And Gildor immediately like "LOL y'all watch your language, the babies can understand us!" I love him dearly

....Okay wait I have a thought about the hobbits walking with the elves until they nearly fall asleep on their feet. A thought about soldiers and Tolkien's experience in war. Wait. I'm gonna have to make a post about this.

Eyyyy it's the Turin constellation!

Something about the Elven hall did indeed become a core memory for young Lady Glasses. I spent quite a few years building a fantasy world that would capture that sense of mysticism and wonder. Just like Sam and Pippin, I never really remembered the details, but the emotion stuck with me, and it enchanted my imagination.

The Elves bringing out a Thanksgiving feast and saying "sorry we don't have better food" is like going over to your friend's immaculately cleaned house and them saying "sorry for the mess"

Frodo speaking the Elves' language and charming them all is so cute

Sam falling asleep at Frodo's feet as he talks to Gildor is SO CUTE

“At last Frodo asked the question that was nearest to his heart: ‘Tell me, Gildor, have ever you seen Bilbo since he left us?’” OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT—

"My faithful Sam" UGH THE FEELS

Gildor: "But it is said: 'Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.'" Frodo: "And it is also said, 'Go not to the Elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes.'" HAHAHA GETTIM FRODO

SASSVILLE-BAGGINS SCORE: 5.5

Gildor saying "you don't need to understand the Black Riders, just stay away from them" is honestly very Christian of Tolkien too. The best spiritual warfare advice I've ever heard is "don't try to understand demons; just get as close to your Protector".

Anyway Gildor complimenting Frodo is very cute and that is all

#chapter review #frodo baggins #gandalf #meriadoc brandybuck #merry #samwise gamgee #peregrin took #pippin #gildor #lord of the rings #lotr #my writing

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fettuccin-e · 1 year

Text

Make It Bruise

I wanted to see if I could write steven as more of a dom, bc i seem to default to subby!Steven and i think maybe i succeeded?? so yeah we've got a dom steven here my dear ppl

(Tags: Steven Grant x Reader, dom/sub dynamics, afab!fem!reader, spanking like a lot of spanking as 'punishment,' fingering, a bit of Marc x Reader)

Sometimes you’re absolutely convinced that Steven Grant, newly-appointed tour guide and boyfriend extraordinaire, is the most patient man on Earth. With the amount of shit he gets at work, coupled with the seemingly never-ending warzone of his mind, Steven should have every right to be uptight, defensive, even downright rude. But he’s not. Every day he comes home to you, patient and loving; he cooks you dinner, holds your hand, fucks you sweetly with unending focus on your pleasure and comfort.

Steven is a wonderful, patient man, and you love him for it.

But also, sometimes, you just want to see him snap.

It’s only happened a few times; when Donna got on his ass just a bit too much that day, when Marc was being an absolute twit in the headspace. Steven reaches a breaking point, and although you shouldn’t enjoy it as much as you do, you still dream of it, crave it. You love when he loses what little composure he has left, when he comes home to you, shoulders drawn tight and eyebrows furrowed as he orders you to take your panties off and bend over for him. He fucks you like an animal on those days, until you’re crying and boneless and dripping with his cum, voice raw from screaming.

It’s complete fucking bliss.

So, against your better judgment, you’ve been a brat to Steven all day. Not answering his texts, talking back to him and rolling your eyes. Steven knows you’re not mean-spirited, that you’d never actually want to be rude or genuinely upset him. He knows that you’re doing this entirely on purpose. And as much as people try to underestimate him, Steven isn’t a stupid man. He knows when his baby needs to be put in her place.

It all comes to a head that evening, when the light outside was just starting to fade with the sunset, the both of you getting ready to lay down on the couch to read together.

“Darling, have you seen my glasses?” Steven asks, innocent and soft-spoken. “Can’t seem to find them anywhere.”

You scoff, just a little, before muttering, “Lord Steven, can’t you keep track of them for more than a fucking hour?” And you can see Steven’s broad back straightening minutely as he turns to look at you.

“Do you ever get tired of it?” He asks, still softly, but his arms are crossing over his chest as he crosses toward you.

You try not to stare at his arms bulging under the thin fabric of his button down. “Tired of what?”

“Don’t act stupid, darling,” Steven says. He stands just a few inches above you, his hand coming up to tilt your chin up toward his face. “Do you ever get tired,” his hand trails lower until his big palm drifts down to your neck, and you gasp as he suddenly grips it tight, “of being an absolute fucking brat?”

“S-Steven,” you whisper, but he interrupts you quickly.

“Take your fucking clothes off. I’m going to sit on the couch, and you’re going to lay across my lap,” he mutters, his voice dark and completely unlike your normal loving, patient Steven.

And it’s a terrible decision, maybe one of the worst you’ve ever had, when you say, “And what if I don’t?”

You can swear that Steven literally growls, gripping your throat even tighter and tugging your face towards his, forcing you up to your tiptoes. “If you don’t, love,” he says the pet name like an insult. “I won’t let you cum for a week. I’ll tell Marc and Jake what you’ve done, how you keep fucking misbehaving, and they won’t let you cum either. And they’re far less forgiving than me, darling, aren’t they?”

You nod with wide eyes, and Steven lets you go. You inhale air into your lungs once again, and nearly whine when Steven goes to sit on the couch. He lifts an eyebrow at you when you stand there, looking at him dumbly, before you remember yourself. You strip yourself quickly, nearly tripping over your pants when you take them off in your rush to get to Steven.

You drape yourself across his lap, stomach pressing into his thick thighs while your elbows press into the couch cushion next to him.

“What do you say if you want to stop, darling?” he murmurs, palm held just above your bare ass.

“Red,” you say, and a stinging pain rips up your spine as Steven’s palm comes down hard on your asscheek.

“That’s right, darling, so fucking smart,” he punctuates the last word with another smack, and you choke on a scream as the sting spreads through your body. “Now, sweetheart, I’m going to give you ten-” Steven pauses, and you glance back at him to see that he’s not looking at you, but at the mirror across your living room. Your gaze snaps back forward when he turns back toward you, meeting your eyes briefly. “Marc says I should give you twenty, but I don’t think you could take that, could you, love?”

You shake your head hard, heart beating rapidly at the thought of being subjected to twenty of Steven’s brutal slaps.

Steven chuckles softly at your vehemence, running a soothing hand down your bare back. “We’ll appease him with fifteen, okay?”

The idea of fifteen spanks was still daunting, but you know that Steven’s mind is already made up; you can’t talk him back down to ten. You whisper softly, “Yes, Steven,” and try to brace yourself.

It’s brutal, punishing, the way Steven’s hand comes down on your ass and thighs. He counts every single one, and his slaps seem to get harder and harder with each. Your body lurches forward with every impact, rocking back and forth on his lap. He counts each one, a soft murmur under his breath after every loud smack, and fifteen somehow seems like the biggest number in the world. Tears are starting to drip down your reddened cheeks with the sting of it, little moans and gasps of “Steven!” escaping your lips as he spanks you viciously.

It hurts, it hurts so bad, but you can’t deny the way it also feels so good. Every sting makes your clit pulse, makes your pussy throb uncontrollably. You can’t hide the way your cunt is dripping, completely drenched with your juices.

And Steven just keeps talking, muttering “such a fucking brat,” while he leaves your ass red and welted. Around slap nine, he asks you, “why are you getting spanked like this, darling?” and you can’t help but cry out, stupid and brainless as you are, “cause I’m a brat, oh god, been so bad to you Steven. I needed to be punished, shit.”

“That’s right, gorgeous,” Steven says, smirking to himself, looking at the state he’s reduced you to. “You’re so smart. Last one, okay?”

You nod, hot tears still streaming down your face as you gulp air into your heaving lungs. Steven’s hand comes down on you one final time, the hardest it’s ever been, and you scream a little bit as Steven mutters a soft, “fifteen.”

You barely have time to recover before Steven’s suddenly stuffing two of his thick, calloused fingers into your sopping pussy, his other hand petting softly across your sensitive ass.

“Steven, Steven, oh fuck, oh fucking Christ,” you slur as Steven’s fingers jam in and out of you ruthlessly, your bruised up ass bouncing as he fucks you savagely. He grinds the pads of his fingers up into your sweet spot buried deep inside, and your hips lurch unconsciously, trying to escape the pleasure that’s too much, it’s too fucking much-

“Don’t run from me, love,” Steven murmurs, his dark eyes watching your writhing, glistening body. He can feel the fluttering of your little pussy around his fingers, and knows that you won’t be able to hold your orgasm for long. But you’re trying, he knows you’re trying to wait for his permission.

Steven glances up at the mirror across the room and makes eye contact with Marc, who has been watching with dark, unwavering eyes as Steven plays with you. Marc nods at him, just barely, and Steven smirks. “Go ahead and cum, darling, Marc and I want to see it.”

You have no choice but to follow Steven’s unyielding command, your body going rigid as your pussy clutches around his fingers, your ass still red hot and throbbing. You’re sobbing and gasping as you cum, and Steven carries you through it, murmuring little affirmations of “you did so good, love, you took it so well.”

The thrusts of Steven’s fingers slowly come to a stop, and he finally removes his fingers, sticky with your slick. He wipes them carelessly on his jeans and lifts you to cuddle you into his chest, shushing you softly as your breathing slowly returns to normal.

“‘M sorry, Steven. I was mean-”

Steven cuts you off gently, running a hand down your naked back as your hands dig into the fabric of his shirt. “You’re forgiven darling. You’re always forgiven, perfect as you are. Love you so much.”

Your eyes are heavy, your body exhausted and wrung dry, but you manage a “love you too, Steven,” before you drop off into sleep, your face buried into the crook of Steven’s neck.

Steven will take care of you. He always does.

#steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #steven grant smut #steven grant #dom steven grant #steven grant x y/n #moon knight x you #moon knight x reader #moon knight smut #marc spector smut

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rexxatexxa · 1 year

Text

141+Alejandro, Rodolfo, König When you get kidnapped

Warnings: Language, Mentions of harm, Crying, Bodily harm, Mentions of blood, Knives/Weapons, and Civilian Y/n (you)

About: After being gone for 3 months expecting to see you instead come home and you are missing only a note left behind by your kidnappers will they find you or will it be to late?

Ghost- It’s been three months of agony he messaged you saying he was coming home and would be back probably around 8:00pm and with that he was off. Going back to your guys small home far out in the middle of nowhere once he made it back he parked in the drive way it was dark. Already fiddling in his jacket pocket for the house keys he was at the door step kicking dry mud off of his military boots. He could hear the dog barking from inside and He unlocked the door pushing the door open and closing it behind him with his foot. He expected you to come running from whatever room but you didn’t your guys dog came tail in between his legs whining. Once again he barked running into the living room Ghost wasted no time and followed your dog into the living room he froze. The whole living room was destroyed your favorite vase was shattered a his eyes darted around searching looking then he saw a piece of fabric. It belonged to your shirt around that droplets of blood and a small note he picked it up it read.

“found you..”

He was quick to rip the paper in half he was confused and angry he was going to get you back. He expressed the situation with price over the phone he was pacing hands clutching his phone and mask nearly punching a hole in the wall.

“I will get you back..believe me”

Soap- After being gone and out of your reach for about three months all he wants to do is curl up in your arms and tell you about how shitty having to run around in heavy tactical gear is. He calls you Wanting to hear your voice you pick up but it’s not your voice.

“Who the fuck are you?” Soap says squinting his eyes leaning into the phone

“We have y/n l/n they are really busy right now so maybe call back later yeah?”

Before he would even speak they hung up he tried calling your phone again but it went to voicemail. He was scared fumbling around with a bracelet you got him for your guys anniversary when he made it back to his home he prayed you would be there. And that it was just a prank call he shoved the door open the whole house was destroyed he scrambled around tears pricking his eyes. He started to pull at his hair he needed you so much and someone took that from him he didn’t want to discuss it with anyone he just knew he was going to get you back no matter the cost.

“I’ll find you soon..”

Price- He was beyond happy to come back to you he was a very busy guy and needed to see you it’s been to long. He spent night dreaming about seeing you again he wanted to surprise you besides you didn’t expect him home for a while now. Once he pulled into the driveway he saw the house lights on he had a small grin on his face as he pulled out his key to see that the door already seemed to be opened just a crack he thought you knew he was coming home early so he gave in pushing the door open and closing it behind him he slowly walked into the house he saw all the knives seemed to be knocked all over the floor and your ring and a splatter of blood he rushed over there thinking you hurt yourself but you weren’t there he saw that the drawer that held a small hand gun was opened the gun was missing and a small note took up the spot

“Well I guess your not as good at hiding things as we thought maybe try better?”

He tucked the note away into his pocket and picked up your ring looking at it with determination.

“I am coming soon I promise..”

Gaz- He was going home and he couldn’t wait he planned out what he wanted to do with you when he came back. He sent you a messaged telling you that he would be there quick and that he loved you. He closed his phone and waited he could barely sit down all he wanted to do was come back home and hold you. Once he made it home he took out his keys almost dropping them and pushing the door open he ran up to your guys shared bedroom but you weren’t there maybe the bathroom you weren’t there either he walked back to the bedroom and sat on the bed he saw a little folded note

“looks like we have something of yours Kyle you won’t be getting back soon..”

he gripped the note dialing Prices number explaining to him how you were taken and how he needed to get you back soon.

“on my way..”

Alejandro- He’s on his way back home he couldn’t believe he spent such a long time without you he just wanted to talk about his day and about how many times he thought about you. He tiredly walked over to your shared house he quickly walked in and out his stuff down knowing you would be in the living room he was walking over rubbing his eyes stepping on something. He was shocked looking at what it was it was a picture frame he lifted it up to look at the photo that was hanging out it was a picture of you and him out on a picnic he folded it and placed it in his pocket. Looking up everything was messed up tables were knocked over a candles and vases were also knocked over onto the floor. He didn’t get it what the fuck how the fuck and why the fuck did it happen he saw the note he read it and it said.

“Thank you for handing this beauty over”

He crumbled the paper in his hands not being able to comprehend what was happening his whole life was taken from him.

“I am getting you back..”

Rodolfo- After seeing many men die and many other things the last thing he would want to do is see you. He can’t help but just want to wrap you in his arms and press small kisses all over you so when he can back home he was quick to unlock the door and to drop his stuff off near the door. He let out a deep sigh walking over just wanting you but he couldn’t find you he was confused he kept looking then on your dining table he saw a folded note he rushed over to it opening it tilting his head to read it.

“looks like you were to slow huh?”

His grasp on the note was no longer as tight he placed it down scratching his face he grabbed his phone. He was quick to try and call you no answer just voicemail he sent you a message no reply he started to get scared. He called Alejandro praying he knew what to do in this situation they made a plan and he was going to get you.

“I’ll try..”

König- He was happy he got to leave such a cursed place he was happy he got to leave and go home and have something to come home to he just wanted to get all of his gear off and have someone take care of him. He didn’t want to think about all the men he’s had to kill or all of the teammates he’s watched get killed he wanted a distraction and that just so happen to be you so knowing he got to go home was amazing. He got his stuff and was off when he made it to your house he could tell something was off but refused to think on it he made his way to the door unlocked it and ducked in he closed the door behind him and locked it. He turned back to see a light bulb flickering he walked into the your office it looked like a tornado went through it he was confused there was blood smudged into your carpet all your work papers and computer were destroyed he looked around for something your knife and a note he took your knife and put held it he grabbed the note.

“Your late.. we already found them..”

He slide the note away somewhere and snapped back to reality he had to get you and he needed to find a way on how he tucked your knife into his pocket and got up.

“Just wait…”

#könig x y/n #captain price x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #rodolfo rudy parra x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #cod x reader #cod mw2 #john mactavish x reader

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babeeangel · 10 months

Note

Hello !! I saw that your requests were open so I wanted to know how you think the bllk would react if their s/o asked for a break or a break up with them ?? Actually i read your work on it and it was very well written (hurts my heart ಠ⁠‿⁠ಠ) so I was curious about that.

Anyway have a good day~~

“let’s break up” - how the bllk boys would react

Hello lovely ! Are you doing great ? Was my response quick enough ? Anyways, i wrote short fics instead of headcanons, i feel like they are more suited. But if you wish, I can write them in hc forms ! Specific characters can also be requested for a part two~ enjoy and don’t cry too much~~

Blue Lock angst: breaking up with Isagi Yoichi and Itoshi Rin

Isagi - swear words, toxic behaviors from both ends, no one is right\an example to follow tbh TT - 1,2k

It had been a while. That Isagi was ignoring you. Your hugs, your texts, the cooked meals you always put aside for him. You lifted your head and looked in front of you. It was so dark now it hurt your eyes. The afternoon had gone by in a blink of an eye. You had sat on the couch and next thing you know you’re on the floor, back against the living room rug, still crying. Everytime you dried up your tears, a few minutes of thinking were enough for them to start rolling down your cheeks again. Purposeful or not, did it even matter ? And you had rehashed thoughts and fake conversations so much by now, that you started convincing yourself he avoided you deliberately, to have fun and make you cry.

The dim sky barely lit up the room, it was hard for you to distinguish the furniture around you. Everything was a grayish blue. Inside and outside. You and your surroundings. When you heard keys in the lock, you took a deep breath, eyes closed. The door creaked open.

“Hey ba-” The voice that started talking with so much enthusiasm abruptly stopped. “Why’s it so dark ?” Without even warning, Isagi turned the switch on. Ow. It hurts your eyes so much. Yet you continue blankly staring at the coffee table. “Practice was so tough today. Hum, Y\N where are you ?”. You could feel him searching left and right for you. So used to it huh, you greeting him the second he arrives, a warm smile on your face, the table set behind you. There was a last time for everything, but none of you knew that yesterday was the one. “Oh well.” Quickly giving up, you heard his duffle bag hit the floor. He left everything as it was, heading for a shower.

“I’m here.” Your expression still being as empty, not even looking in his direction, you got up. Your hand helping you lift your weight, you finally revealed yourself to him. From your peripheral vision, you could see his smile getting wider as he saw you. Not that you cared. You didn’t even bother to look at him when you pronounced that dreadful sentence: “We need to talk”.

“Do we ?” Isagi’s smile instantly dropped. But it made you furious. Instead of an apprehensive, concerned expression, he seemed annoyed. That bitch is gonna complain again right ? That’s probably what he was thinking. Couldn't he at least fake being scared for your relationship ? “Well i must. I’ll tell you something. Although I'm surprised you have nothing to tell me. Nothing’s been bothering you ? Everything alright, a-ok ? La vie en rose ?” You still didn't look at him, though you were walking in his direction, your eyes were empty. “What, does something seem wrong to you ? To me nothing h-” Ugh ! He was so ! Infuriating ! Why was he acting all cool, all unbothered, disdainful ? “Something ?! Something ?! Everything !”

You finally looked at him. Right in the eyes. You hadn't realized that anger had taken over your sadness. “How can you dare to pretend things are going right ? Have some respect, for me, and yourself !” “Okay okay, what will you whine about today ?” Isagi answered right away. “My fangirls ? How you wanna meet my friends ? The fact you’re convinced my parents dislike you ? Everything we’ve been through again and again.” He had an arrogant tone, almost laughing at you. “You always have something to bring up. I’m getting tired of your childish complaints”.

Right where it hits the most. You scoffed. “Okay. Okay then. You’ll be so glad to hear what I've got to say”. You too started putting on a derisive expression. “At first I was sad. But now I'm thinking, how could you let yourself be treated this way, love ?” You were walking around the living room, in a theatrical way, gesturing to yourself and raising your eyebrows faking concern. “Isagi. You looked at him. I’m not gonna let you neglect me again, let alone pretend I'm the one who’s wrong. You and I… We’re over”. You looked at him almost satisfied. You-from-4-hours-ago would've never believed that, out of all the feelings you could have felt when asking to break up, amusement would have been the one.

And what you saw was even more delightful. Isagi’s expression turned from scoffy to utterly shocked. He did not see that coming. After all, to him, you had become someone who would just complain… Not actually take action. Little did he know everything he took for granted was going to disappear. As quickly as you would. Suddenly his whole world fell upon his feet.

You smiled, walking closer and closer to him. His sad expression.. It was almost fulfilling now. So taken aback, Isagi couldn't move, he only looked you in the eyes, full of despair. His eyebrows were wavering, his eyes were starting to get glossy from tears welling up, he tried to blink. You approached your face dangerously close to his. Your noses were almost touching, but you didn't budge though. You looked at him deep in the eyes, feeding on his pain. “Can you finally feel what I felt ?” Your tone was full of resolution. You stayed for a few seconds, just to pressure him, until you stepped back. You took each of his arms, and looked at his face again. “It’s okay. You’re a resilient boy, you’ll get through this”. You put on a fake pout, mocking compassion. “It’s not like I mattered much to you anyway, right ?”.

You violently let go of him, shaking his arms with strength, your smile fading away. “Now go”. You walked right past him, took your keys, your bag and left. It was his apartment, and you still had some stuff left. After all, it’s not like you had planned to break him up today, he just brought it upon himself. The way you moved made it look like you were unaffected. You swiftly opened the door and exited. You walked with resoluteness, steady walking, chin up through the hallways, up until the elevator.

On his side, it took Isagi a few seconds to register what had just happened. He was still standing there, blankly when you left, not even trying to get you back. So confused. Until it hit him. It hit him so hard. Tears started rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably as he fell to the ground. What had he done ? How did he allow himself to lose you ? The corny saying that you ‘only notice something when it’s gone’ finally had meaning. As he played in his head every little thing he was already missing from you, a crushing feeling of remorse dawned upon him. Finally, he realized everything he’d done wrong while going out with you, and to add to the burden he now bore, he finally saw that that’s what you had been complaining to him about. Everything you had said, you were right.

Knees to the ground and hands shakily wiping off his tears, Isagi thought he’d never see the end of it. He wanted you back. Maybe if he called you, apologized, no, maybe if he, ugh it was in vain. He just wanted to tell you he’s sorry. But was he ? Maybe the two of you were not meant to be. He looked at his hands and got up, wiped his tears. Actually… you were wrong. He did everything right. But you were an ungrateful lucky lover.

Obviously, it’d end up like this. You broke down crying in the elevator. How foolish were you, to think he’d be affected. Like it always happens, you were the one hurt, and he didn't question himself. If just once it could’ve been reversed.

Rin - 1k2 words

Even though the lights were bright and the crowd was loud, it's like you weren't there. Everyone around you was keenly embroiled, but you could barely distinguish the players on the field. You had come to watch your boyfriend play, just like you’d watched every other game of his from this season. But this time, you couldn't force yourself to get into it. Your vision was blurry, you know, when you can't focus your eyes on something ? You see it happen from afar, you’d like to catch every detail of it, but your eyes just won’t let you. It happens when you’re tired, or when you don’t put in enough effort. You could not concentrate, too busy thinking.

You were sitting in the vip spot, all alone, unfilled seats surrounding you, an empty, almost sad, look on your face. You knew what would come after the match. And as boring as the game felt to you today -even though it wasn’t- you didn't want it to end. Because it finishing meant you also had to finish something. Something you had to say to Rin. He scores, smiles faintly and glances at your direction.

But you weren’t looking at him anymore. When you watch him these days… You don’t feel anything anymore. If you could force yourself to do so, you would have already done it a while ago. Every candle you blow is accompanied by the same wish, to restore the feelings you once had for him. It would feel so much easier if you could continue on pretending. What’s wrong with you ? He’s the dream guy…

You stared into space, and suddenly your ears rang louder than before. You looked up to see that the match had ended. You take a deep breath, faintly smile as you know your boyfriend is looking at you, and get up. Time to face reality. As you make your way to the backstage to meet him, you start thinking. You still have that surreal, high on over-stimulation feel, but your thoughts start clearing up: this might be the worst time to do what you’re about to do. He had just won a match, almost single-handedly carrying his team, and his season was far from over. It would most likely break his spirit. But you just felt like being selfish… Once again. Feigning this much, you can't do it longer. There was nothing left anymore that made you want to stay, apart from the objectivity that Rin himself, is what anyone would wish for. Even that was obvious to you, but it wasn’t enough anymore. Nowadays looking at him is like looking at a dessert when you’re not hungry. You don’t even want it, it wouldn’t satisfy you.

You feel the coldness of the metal stair rail you’re trailing your fingers on. It brings you to where you ought to go. “Y\N”. His voice is just as cold. You used to dig that, though. “I did good, didn’t I?” “You sure did”, you answer, looking at the floor. “Look Rin, there’s something I wanna tell you. I’m sorry for being brutal. I want us to break up”.

The whole room paused. Oh yes, because at this point, I might as well do it in a room full of people. They were bound to find out anyway. Rin’s feeble smile totally faded. His mouth was even slightly opened from shock. “Le-let’s take this elsewhere”. Rin had put a serious face on and sharply grabbed your wrist, dragging you rather inconsiderately in the staircase. No one came here ever. The sound resonated so well, it was almost scary. If someone were to pass by, they would hear everything. “Why so sudden ?”

You were so ashamed. You frenziedly shook your hand off his grip, still looking at the floor. “I don't know. It’s been on my mind a while. It just took me some time to muster the courage”. Lies. “That’s odd. It’s selfish, but I wish you’d never told me”. Rin took his hand to your chin, raising your head up so you’d look him in the eyes. You tried to escape, and look left or right, but you felt emeralds piercing right through your eyes. You looked straight up. You were most definitely going to miss this perfect face. His cold hands and towering stature. “Tell me the truth now”. He commended and you obeyed, as always:

“I dont love you anymore”. You glossy lips rested pouty. It was almost criminal, saying this while staring at him dead in the eyes. He roughly let you go with a ‘tch’, making you lose your balance. “That’s it huh ?” His back was turned but you could feel the disappointment in his voice. Not sad, just let down by your lack of effort. He was right though, if you were to end it, you could’ve done it nicely. You didn't know what to do as he wasn't speaking anymore. “Are you okay with that ?” What stupid thing to say. You looked at him, waiting for an answer. “Okay. Let’s break up”. Rin finally turned to you. You felt your heart fall to your chest, so heavy. Why now ? You’d rehearsed this conversation over and over, you knew well you didn't have feelings for him anymore. So why is it hurting ? Why now ? Rin walked to what you thought was closer to you, but shifted before. He was going for the door. “Tomorrow, come pick up your stuff at my place. If you can’t, please text my maid, she’ll get it sent to your address”. You started feeling tears welling up and your throat itching. “Is that all ?” You got walking too, to reach Rin.

Pushing Rin’s chest with both your hands, you felt your eyes getting heavier and heavier. But he barely budged. Your voice cracked: “Come on, react ! I don't know, throw a fit, cry, disrespect me, act like you care ! Grab my shoulders and shake me, shove me to the wall !” You were totally breaking down. Tears were now rolling down your flushed cheeks, your hands were shaking, rested on his chest.

“Is that wrong for me, to love you so much I'll accept everything you do to me ?”. You looked up, surprised to hear him answer. “If you want to break up, I'll accept, because I'd do anything and everything for you. I love you like that ! I’m so hurt but I'm trying to keep it cool so you don’t regret your decision. If you came to realize how terrible you’re treating me right now, you would feel bad. Let me pretend I'm the bad guy so you walk away with a clean conscience.” His words sunk into you. “What, did you, on top of treating me like this, expect me to plead with you to stay, to change your mind ? I’m all yours, but I'm no beggar.”

Rin finally pushed you off him, looking down on you. “It’s over, goodbye”. The sound of his voice and the door shutting closed resonated in the staircase. It felt so alone. You stood there shaking from the cold and crying. It might be better like this.

A\N: ngl, these are borderline corny, ooc, and took me way too long to write TT. Next time i'll write HC maybe. Advices anyone ?! not rly proud of these.

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cillianmesoftlyyy · 5 months

Text

In Love, in War Pt. 4 | Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary | Thomas Shelby is heading back to his unit at the front with one more wound to soothe. They hated each other and then they loved each other but its understandable that things can change rapidly under such disastrous conditions. What can their love withstand?

Warnings | Death, Gore, Blood, and severe injuries.

Come Tomorrow- Peter Bradley Adams 🎵

Bullet With Butterfly Wings- The Smashing Pumpkins 🎶

Word count: 1713k

Not proof read- my b, folks!

“Wake up, nurse.” She heard him whisper against her ear. She stretched and breathed in Thomas’ dark, heavy scent. When she opened her eyes, the tent was full of light, breaking in through the slits in the canvas. He was dressed and had her clothes in his hands.

“Are we leaving now?” She asked sleepily and he nodded.

“I have to get back to the infirmary before they mark me down as a deserter.”

She sat up and let him button her blouse and fix her black stockings before he pulled on her skirt. He buckled her shoes while she combed her fingers through her hair and tied the warm shawl around her head. Thomas pulled a curl out from under the shawl and kissed her softly.

“Let’s go.” He pulled her to her feet and they left the tent, hand in hand, hurrying back to the infirmary before the shifts switched. The nurse in the infirmary had fallen asleep and didn’t notice when Thomas snuck back in, sticky with sweat from the night before.

“I leave at 2 o’clock. Will I see you?” He asked quickly from his bed.

“I’ll come to say goodbye, I promise.” She smiled and kissed him again. Pulling away from him, she left the tent and went back into her’s, careful to not wake any of her roommates. She washed her face and returned her cap to her head and her apron around her uniform. In the mirror she saw a happy woman, a woman in-love. She blushed at her own reflection and left once again to prepare for her shift in the hospital tent.

The morning was wet and arid, pushing and pulling clouds of fog along the campsite. She washed her hands, scrubbing soap beneath her fingernails and along the curvature of her wrist bone. She followed one of the doctors like his shadow and helped as he removed a dented bronze bullet from a patient's thigh. A second nurse held a cloth doused with chloroform briefly under the soldier’s nose and he fell immediately into unconsciousness. She watched the clock with anxiety, despising it for running so fast and sending Thomas back to the hell he’d just escaped from. Another round of screaming entered the tent and a nurse tugged on her apron.

“We need one more set of hands on this one.” She pulled her away and led her to one of the operation tables. The man was covered in blood, so rich and dark that she couldn’t make out the man beneath it.

“Oh, God.” She whispered beneath her breath.

“Don’t just stand there, girl! We need chloroform and gauze now!” The doctor yelled and she brought over the chloroform to put the patient to sleep. As she rounded the table’s edge, she was able to just make out the bright blue eyes, wide in terror and pain, staring straight at her like the bull’s eye of a target.

“Francis?” She whispered, completely removed from the scene around her. The man stared back and thrashed about, but his eyes stayed on her’s. He screamed and grabbed his stomach that was bleeding heavily over the side of the table, onto the ground. She gasped and stumbled into a nurse.

“Get a hold of her!” The doctor yelled over the patient, his hands matted with Francis’ blood.

“I think she knows him, sir.” The nurse behind her yelled back over the noise, clutching beneath her arm and holding her above the ground.

“Then get her out of here if she isn’t going to help!” He returned to the table and she watched in horror as he shoved her fiance’s internal organs back into the pouch of his stomach.

“Francis!” She screamed with a blood-curdling cry before she fainted, her world growing black and still like a winter night.

The nurse left her on the ground and hurried to the table to assist the doctor as he restored the man’s organs into his abdomen. A second nurse covered his nose with chloroform and he slipped painfully into sleep. They cleaned the gaping wound and stitched him up with their slippery hands. Someone came running with blood bags and connected Francis to a tube. He was deathly pale and so was she. They laid together in mutual unconsciousness as the war of medicine was waged around them. After they had wiped the blood from Francis’ body, they moved her too, lying her out on the cot in her tent. One of her roommates held a bottle of whisky beneath her nose until she awoke with a snap.

“Where am I?” She panicked, twisting around to orient herself.

“You’re in our tent. You fainted…” One of her friends, Brooklyn, explained gently.

“I fainted?” She shook her head, rubbing her eyes with her dirty hands. She tried to sit up but Avonlee coaxed her back down.

“Don’t get up yet, you’ve had quite a fright and you need to rest.” Brooklyn held her hand and gave it a squeeze.

She stared up at them for a while, trying to remember what had preceded her faint. She thought through the bad dreams she’d just had and in a horrible second, she realized it hadn’t been a nightmare. She gasped and tugged at Brooklyn’s uniform.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! Where’s Francis? Is he alive? Was it actually him? I thought he was dead! It couldn’t be him!” She sobbed into her friend’s chest.

“He didn’t have his dog tags so we don’t know exactly who he is. All we know is that you called him Francis before you fainted.”

“And is he alright?” She urged, crying helplessly and overwhelmed.

“They stopped the bleeding but the doctor isn’t sure if he’ll live through the night.” Avonlee frowned. “I’m so sorry.”

“I need to see him. Please help me see him!” She cried and her friends nodded.

“Of course but you shouldn’t be walking yet. You were out for almost two hours.” Brooklyn pleaded with her but it was no use.

“No, I need to see him. I need to see Franics, please!” She sobbed angrily into the cot until Avonlee pulled her up. The two girls carried her, her arms strung over their shoulders. She could walk but her strength was limited. She stumbled across the camp to the infirmary tent where the nurse on duty directed them to a bed behind a sliding screen.

“His injuries were so bad, we thought it best to keep it away from the other men.” The nurse said awkwardly to Avonlee.

She pushed aside the curtain and paused at the doorway, frozen in her place as she looked down on the man who was supposed to be dead. He was tucked tightly into the cot, his hands wrapped in mittens to keep him from clawing at the stitches. He looked deathly pale and, quite honestly, dead. She released a shaky breath and went to his side, collapsing in the chair by his head. He still had a youthful charm to his face, though wrinkled from war. He wasn’t as she remembered him and it made her desperately sad. She pushed a lock of blood-dyed hair from his face, needing to confirm that he was real, that his body was truly there.

“He was supposed to be dead.” She heard herself say again.

“So it's Francis then?” Brooklyn asked quietly.

“Yes… Francis Gild Jr. from Birmingham, England,” she said slowly. “I have to write to his father.” She looked down at his stomach, wrapped in layers of stiff gauze.

“I can do it if that’s easier.” Avonlee offered and she nodded distractedly.

“Yes, you’ll have to explain to him… Francis is alive.” She shook her head and crumbled into tears, they fell onto her skirt like droplets of warm summer rain. “Oh God, he’s alive. This whole time, he’s been alive. Poor Francis!” She wailed quietly to herself, almost incoherent.

“We’ll leave you.” Brooklyn announced and hurried the other nurses away and pulled the curtain closed.

She laid her hand palm down on his chest, feeling his heartbeat and dissolving into tears again.

“Damn you, Francis,” she whispered. “I grieved you. I was your widow. I-I oh God!” She gasped, remembering Thomas and her promise to say goodbye. She jumped up and rushed through the curtain, grabbing a hold of the nurse on duty.

“Has the transport back left yet? What time is it?” She panted, tears staining her cheeks.

“It’s 2:15. They’re leaving now. You could still catch them if you tried but I really don’t think you’re in a condition to run.” The nurse tried to reason with her but she shook her head.

“No, no- I need to go. I’ll be back. Please watch Francis for me.” She called over her shoulder and ran joltingly across the camp. The trucks taking men back were at the security checkpoint and she ran as quickly as she could across the drying mud to the spot. Mud flew up in dry clunks, hurting her eyes and making more tears swell in between her eyelashes. She could see the small gate and security post as she weaved between the tents. As she stumbled upon the gate, she saw the open-back trucks pull away.

“Thomas!” She screamed against the wind. “Thomas Shelby!” She screamed again. The men in the trucks leaned over in their rows to look out. She tried to get through the gate but an armed soldier held her back and she was too weak to resist.

“Shelby!” She screamed against her sobs.

“They’re gone, nurse.” The soldier tried to calm her.

“No! He must know that I came to say goodbye! I promised!” She pulled on his jacket’s lapels. “He’ll never forgive me…”

In the far distance, a man with black hair stood in the truck, a stolen cigarette between his pink lips burned. He watched the scene at the gate with narrowed eyes, anger and disappointment burning inside him. She looked like a nun, her habit dancing widely in the wind, but the large red cross on her chest gave her away. Another man pulled him down and he crashed into the seat with an echoing thud.

“Who was that?” One man asked him and Thomas sniffed.

“I don’t know.”

.....................

End of pt. 4 :)

#cillian murphy x reader #cillian x fem!reader #cillian x reader #cillian murphy #thomas shelby #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders #fanfiction #cillian x y/n #tommy shelby

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apollosfavkiddo · 3 days

Text

⛧° you promised you’d come back

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

content: jason grace x pluto!fem!reader blurb

warnings: angst, not a happy ending, interrupted friends to lovers, death of character, really short.

a/n: i know, i know, i have to post the leo fic first. whatever?? i wrote this late night in the hospital in my phone and i cried, so you’re gonna read it and cry too. this one doesn’t even have wc or song cause i literally left it just like i wrote. shits really short. good luck 🫡

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

You didn’t have any news on how the damn quest was going.

No Iris message. No letter. Absolutely no indication that your best friend was still alive. lt was a mix of emotions together, but especially fear.

Fear that maybe he wasn’t alive anymore. Maybe he had finally succumbed to one of those damned quests that your parents put you through, because somehow, they can’t do it on their owns.

But you had to cling to the small light of hope that was alive and that he was okay. After all, he promised you he’d come back.

“Of course i’ll come back, y/n/n. I always do.”

And maybe when you do came back, you thought, i’m finally be able to tell you how much i love you.

But all that hope was completely and totally crushed down the moment that Nico came to your apartment, along with Lester, Meg and Piper.

All of them had a dark and intense gaze, but especially Nico.

You obviously knew about the growing friendship that Jason had with the younger boy. Gods, Jason even talked about him like an older brother talks about his baby sibling.

And that’s when you knew. That’s when it hit you, that’s you’d never see Jason again.

“Y/n… can i come in?” Nico asked, his voice cracked. He instantly cleared his throat and stand up straight, swallowing a lump. “I mean- we. Can we come in?”

You just nodded, the tears already welling up in your eyes.

“Hm… Im really sorry to say this, Y/n, but… Jason didn’t make it. Caligula, he-“ Apollo - Jason’s half brother, cause nothing could be better - said, but you interrupted him with a raise of your hand.

“It’s okay. You didn’t have to come all the way here to talk to me about this. You have a quest to continue, i get it. You can go now.” You said, your voice trying to sound firm and certain.

“Y/n, are you-“ Piper said, reaching out a hand to you.

“Yes.” You said, taking a step back away from her. You and Piper never had the best relationship, and you just thought that she was the last person you’d want around in a moment like this - the girl who first killed Jason. “I’m fine. Really.”

You tried to sound reassuring, but Nico quickly caught in your facade. He cleared his throat again and looked back at the trio behind him. “It’s fine.” He said, and they finally backed off.

Meg was the only one who didn’t. She achtualmy took a step forward and pulled you in to a hug. She was a few inches shorter than you, so it was hard for her, but the hug was very appreciated. You quickly reciprocated, and she finally pulled away. She had puffy eyes and a pout on her lips.

“I’m sorry about him. I know you were close.” She said in a whisper, only to both of you hear, and you smiled. She was sweet. You nodded and whispered back a small ‘thank you’. And then, they finally left.

When you closed the door, you immediately broke into sobs. Your brother was quick to cradle you into his arms, and you just sobbed.

Not that far after, you felt his body also shaking. You didn’t think you ever saw Nico cry, but this was understandable, at least. He was his best friend. He was the best friend to both of you.

“W-why, Nico? It’s- it’s not fair! He’s- he was too young, he-“ You groaned as you sobbed into Nico’s old jacked, damping it completely. Bit you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, not when that happened.

He nodded, caressing your back.

He was gone. Jason was gone. Your Jason. Your best friend. The man you were in love with. The person that you grew to admire, looking up to how kind, generous and intelligent he was.

Your favorite person. Your soulmate.

In the end, all that’s left is a broken promise, a crossed heart and a shattered soul.

#all my love 🍀#postcards from leah #jason grace #jason grace angst #heroes of olympus #pjo hoo toa #jason grace x reader #jason grace x y/n #jason grace x you #heroes of olympus x reader #pjo

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milesdickpic · 11 months

Text

His Little Girl | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader P. 73

Click here to see the master list

A/n: It's been a minute, huh Mav? Sorry for my absence, besties. There has been a lot going on. Thank you for all being patient with me. Without further ado, here is the next chapter! Thank you for being here! I love you all so much! ❤️ Happy reading and enjoy! 💕

Word Count: 3.5k

(sorry for all the grammatical errors, I did not re-read this 💀)

Warnings: cursing, crying, angst, anger, mentions death, panic attacks, talks about injuries, depression, TW: Blood in the picture below, if I missed any please let me know 🫶🏼

Please don't take my work, I will find you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(I really can't remember where I got this picture, I am sorry! 😭)

You sat up in a sweat. You were breathing hard. You had just woken up from a nightmare. You pushed your sweaty palms into your eyes. “It was just a dream.” You took a deep breath. Hangman came running into your room.

“Y/n.” He was out of breath.

“Jake you’re home early from work. What are you doing here?” You looked at him concerned.

“Where is Leia?” He looked around.

“She’s with Evelyn and the girls. Jake what’s wrong?”

“Y/n.”

You shook your head, “Jake." He looked down and blinked fast as his hands rested on his hips. He was lost for words. Your heart sped back up. "No you stop right now. What the hell happened?”Jake blew out an unsteady breath and shook his head. “He’s being flown back right now by the coast guard. Phantom and Phoenix are with him.” He came over to the bed and held your hands, “We need to go now.” He nodded.

Your heart fell to your stomach. You couldn’t breathe. Your chest was tight, “Is he okay?” Jake looked at you with a blank stare, “Is he alive Jake, please.” You pleaded with him. "Please..."

Jake held you tight, “I don’t know and I wish I did. All they said was that he was being taken to the hospital and that we needed to be there when they got there.”

You started to cry. You were trying to hold back your tears. You looked up and placed your hands on your head, “FUCK! JAKE! FUUUCK!” You started to sob.

He hugged you tight, “He’s going to be okay. I know it. He’s Bradley Bradshaw. He always gets away with just a scratch.”

Jake helped you into the car. He called Evelyn and explained to her what happened, or at least what he knew. She agreed to keep Leia with her until you knew more about the situation. You arrived at the hospital, they brought you into a family waiting room. Hangman held you and comforted you the whole time as you waited.

“Jake.” Your raspy voice whispered.

“Yes, honey.” He rubbed your hack and kissed your head.

“I can’t do this without him.” You started to cry again. “I need him, Jake.” You started to shake as you cried.

Jake pulled you into his embrace. “You won’t have to. I’ll make sure they do everything for him. I promise he will come home, honey.” He rubbed your hair and rocked you, “I promise.”

We sat in the family room for a couple of hours. Phantom finally emerged from the doors coming straight to you and Hangman.

“Oh, Phantom!” You stood up quickly and hugged him. He held you tight.

“How are you, my dear?” He held you close and rubbed your back.

You pulled back and wiped your eyes. You shook your head. “I just need to hear something. Please. Is he okay?” You pleaded with him. You just needed to know something and not be left in the dark.

Phantom placed his hands on your shoulders. “My dear, I think we should sit.”

You felt your heart fall. This wasn’t happening. You had just saw him yesterday. You had so much planned for when he came home… You tried to stay calm. It wasn’t just you feeling the pain, it was your boys too. You tried to steady your breathing. You sat down with Hangman again, Phantom sat in the chair next to you. Hangman wrapped his arm around you and comforted you. You held his hand and were shaking. Hangman pulled you closer to him and rubbed your shoulder.

Phantom took a deep breath. “Bradley took the afternoon routes. Last week we had some issues with Bandits scaring our pilots by locking on them and triggering their tone buzzers to alert them. We noticed it would be an issue, so we changed protocols this week. Fly-out routes aren’t to be paired anymore, Instead, we sent out two leads and 4 supportive aircraft.”

You could feel Hangman tense against you.

“Bradley was on a route with Phoenix, but then I had received a distress call from our other team. I requested for Bradley to meet with them. When he got there, they had been tagged with tone and didn’t know what to do in such situation. A lot of these pilots are new. Their first time being out there and not knowing all the ropes yet. Bradley took it upon himself to show leadership and sent phoenix away back to their original route with two supports. Bradley stayed back with the two who had tone on them. Take the lead.”

You dropped your head, “He always puts everyone before himself. That’s just Bradley.”

Phantom leaned in and kissed your head, “He definitely gets that from his mother. She was the same exact way.”

You took a deep breath and looked back up at Phantom.

“While they were flying, everything was fine. Then radio traffic came through. A lone Bandit was spotted, a second one coming opposite way started shooting. They took those down and more showed up. Phoenix and her team went to him as fast as they could. They were all being ambushed. One of the kids ran out of flares, He was panicking as a bandit was on his trails. Bradley cut him off and took the hit. All I could hear were Phoenix’s screams. They eliminated the rest of the bandits. We sent out a search and rescue team. They found him floating upright in the ocean. Thanks be to god for his floating devices. But he was hurt bad. Phoenix said as she watched him go down…” You stopped Phantom.

“Where is she?” Phantom looked at you with furrow brows. “Where is Phoenix?” Hangman sat up straight behind you.

“She’s being evaluated. She’s really shaken up.”

You rose to our feet. “I need to see her. I need to make sure she is okay, please.”

Hangman stood up with you. “I’ll check on her, y/n. I’ll come back right away after I see her. I promise.” Hangman kissed your head and headed into the emergency room area.

Phantom helped you sit back down. “Y/n. Are you sure you want to know?”

“I have to know. Please.” You begged with tears in your eyes.

He nodded and held your hands, “Phoenix said as she watched him go down some debris from his plane came down and swiped his parachute. He was falling fast. The emergency chute deployed late. He hit the water hard. When they got to him he was bleeding out a lot. I’m guessing the debris went through the chute and knocked him as well.” He held your hands tight, “He was unconscious when we got to him. But they are doing everything they can to help him. He’s in surgery and they will update us as soon as they can.”

You broke down and buried your hands into your palms. “Phantom…” you sniffled and cried harder, “How am I supposed to tell my daughter. How am I supposed to tell her she might never see him again?”

He started to cry and put his head down. “Let’s hope and pray that will never have to come.” He cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead. “He’s a Bradshaw. He’s strong, He’s going to make it through.” Phantom pulled something from his pocket and handed it to you. They were very soggy pictures of you, Leia, and the boys. “They found those on him, clenched in his fist. You and your children are his strength and motivation. He’s going to make it back to you.” He caressed your cheeks and wiped your tears. “I’m not going anywhere until we have answers. Anything you need sweetheart, I am here. We are all here for you. The navy is here for you.” He pulled you into a hug.

You nodded and held onto him tight. “Thank you so much, Phantom.”

An hour went by and you had fallen asleep on the couch in the waiting room. Hangman came back in the room and saw you asleep. He sighed of relief. “Thank god, her body needs rest after all this stress.” He let you sleep and when you finally woke up Hangman was sitting next to you rubbing your head. You got up and he rubbed your back. “I checked on Phoenix. She’s shaken up, bad. I’ve never in all the years knowing her, seen her like this.”

“When can I see her?” Hangman pushed your hair from your face.

“Tomorrow.” He nodded. “I called Mav and Austin. They’ll be here in a couple of hours.” He cupped your cheek.

“You called Mav?” You felt your heart drop. Oh god. You couldn’t imagine how he was feeling. First Goose and now Bradley? “Oh shit.” You squeezed your eyes shut.

“Hey, let me get you some water, honey. You need something in your system. What do you feel like eating?” Hangman rubbed your back. You shook your head. “No honey, you need to eat. Please. For the boys.”

“Okay.” You said in a whisper.

“I’ll bring you a sandwich and some water, okay?” Hangman kissed your head again before heading out of the room.

You sat back in silence. Phantom was fast asleep on the couch across from you. You looked down at your belly and rubbed it. You closed your swollen eyes and focused on your breathing. Your body felt so numb. This had to be some nightmare, right? You’d wake up in your bed tomorrow and Bradley would be fine. You felt another tear slip from your eye and onto your cheek. Hangman came back and sat down next to you. You opened you eyes and looked at him with a weak smile. He was holding your sandwich to you.

“Here, honey. You and the boys need to eat. Please.” You took the sandwich from Hangman and started to unwrap it. He placed your water next to you and he started to eat his sandwich.

You laid your head on hangman’s shoulder as you ate. “He’s gonna be okay… Right Jake?” Your voice was solemn and raspy.

Hangman looked at you with sad eyes and sighed. He laid his head on yours and closed his eyes. “I know he will, y/n. He’s one of the strongest guys I know.” He kissed the top of your head. “I promise, I will make sure they do everything and anything for him.”

You nodded against his shoulder and continued to slowly eat your food.

A couple of hours had passed. You were laying on Hangman’s lap. You had a blanket draped over you. It was warm, but you felt so cold. Hangman was massaging your head. You were staring at the table in front of you, it was covered in magazines. You kept reading the Health magazine’s title over and over again. How to Overcome Anxiety.

The family’s waiting room door opened slightly. You and Hangman looked and saw the doctor coming in. You sat up quickly and Hangman helped you up. The doctor sighed and came to sit with you both. Hangman went to go and wake up Phantom. When he saw the doctor, he woke up quickly.

Once you all sat with the doctor they began to explain to you all what they did.

“Mrs. Bradshaw, we had to staple and stitch up a gauge in your husband's shoulder. He had lost a significant amount of blood, but we were able to put 3 bags in him. We also had to go in and place a plate and a couple of screws in his left clavicle, it was broken into several pieces. We have him in a neck brace, just to keep him steady. His vertebrae were stressed, but we saw no damage to the spinal cord or vertebrae. He has a couple of broken ribs from the impact when he hit the water. We also had to stitch his thigh. We are assuming the debris that came down and hit his shoulder went right across and cut open his thigh as well. Thankfully, other than that. He just has some minor cuts, abrasions, bumps, and bruises. It could have been a lot worse, but thanks be to god it isn’t.” He placed his hand on your arm.

You started to cry softly. You were thankful that there weren’t more complications. Especially after you had heard what happened to him. You were preparing for the worst. You placed your hand on the doctor’s hand. “Thank you so much.” You shook you head and patted his hand, “Thank you so much, doctor.” You looked up at him and gave him a hug.

He rubbed your back, “Of course. We will do anything to make sure he’s okay, Mrs. Bradshaw.”

You pulled back and wiped your face. “When can we see him?”

“You can come back and see him now. I must forewarn you. We do have him in a medically induced coma. We just want to give him time to rest and have his body heal before we have him up. He will be in a lot of pain, so we thought this would suit him best.”

You nodded, “Can I please see my husband?”

“Of course. You can all follow me.”

You stood up and Hangman helped you up. He had his hand on your back and the other holding your hand to help steady you. He walked with you through the halls to Bradley’s room. Phantom branched off and went to go and check on Phoenix.

“Lieutenant Bradshaw’s room. You are both welcomed to stay here.” The doctor opened the door. The curtain was covering Bradley, but you could hear all the beeping from the machines and monitors. The doctor opened the curtain and the sight in front of you nearly had you fall to your knees. Thankfully, Hangman was there holding onto you.

“Holy shit…” You started to feel weak.

“Honey.” Hangman grabbed onto you. The doctor grabbed a chair and him and Hangman helped you into it.

Your breathing was slow. Your heart wrenched in your chest. Your vision became blurry as you began to tear up. This wasn’t your Bradley. There had to have been some mistake. He was hooked up to so many machines. There was a tube going into his mouth and down into his throat to breathe for him. He was in a neck brace, his shoulder patched up, arm in a sling, he was swollen, had slight lacerations on his face, arms, neck, he had bruises, his thighs was bandaged up, his eyes still being held shut with medical tape, he had so many wires hook up to him to minter his oxygen, heart rate, blood pressure. There was no way this was him. You had just saw him no less than 48 hours ago. He was fine, laughing, giving you, your daughter, sons, and puppy good-bye kisses and hugs. This wasn’t your Bradley, you had no idea who this was.

Hangman walked over to Bradley’s side and placed his hand on his hair. He leaned down and kissed his forehead. “We’re here, Rooster. Y/n and I are here. We’re not going anywhere, bro. We are staying here with you. I promise to take care of her in the mean time. I love you, Roo.” He laid his head face down next to Bradley’s. You could hear him crying quietly as he hugged Bradley. “Damn it, Bradshaw. What were you thinking. You put everyone before yourself.” Hangman sobbed into the side of Bradley. “Fuck man, we need you.” He was shaking slightly as he pleased with Bradley.

You called over to Hangman in a shake voice, “Jake…” He got up and looked at you with red tearful eyes. You gestured for him to come to you. He came over and pulled up a chair next to you. You pulled him into a hug and held his head to your head, “He’ll be okay. Remember what you said? He’s Bradley, he’s going to come out of it.”

Hangman chuckled and kissed your cheek, “You’re right. You are absolutely right, y/n.” He smiled at you and wiped his tears.

You looked at Bradley on the bed, “Do you think he’ll fly again, Jake?”

Hangman looked over at Bradley laying on the bed. “I really don’t know, but I sure hope he can. He’s damn good at it.” Hangman sighed. “So fucking good at it. I know for a fact that he would have beat my ass if we were in the same class for Top Gun.” He looked at you and chuckled, “But don’t tell him I told you that. He’ll never let me live it down.”

You giggled and wrapped your arm around his shoulders, “Your secret is safe with me, Jake.” You patted his shoulder. You started to stand up. Hangman helped you up, “I’m going to go and get fresh air. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Jake nodded, “Do you want me to come with you?”

You shook your head, “Stay here with Brad. In case anything happens.” You smiled weakly at Hangman.

He stood up and gave you a hug, “Call me if you need anything.”

You started to walk around. You made your way outside the front entrance of the hospital. You stood there with your hands on your hips. You ricked your hips forward and back to stretch your body out. The breeze felt good against you, it helped open up your tight chest. It felt so good to be able t to finally breathe. You turned around to walk back inside the hospital. But, before you could you could hear someone calling for you. You looked over your shoulder. You saw Mav and Austin running over to you.

Mav comes running over to you. “Hey, sweetheart.” Mav’s face was full of hurt, concern, and guilt. He had his arms out to hug you. You turned around, super pregnant Mav’s eyes went wide. He looked down at your belly and had his arms out. “ Sweetheart…Are you pregnant?!”

You laughed weakly and held your arms out. You started to break down crying “Surprise.” You dropped your head down into your hands. Mav pulled you in for a hug. He hugged you tightly.

“Sweetheart. God you look so beautiful! Congratulations!” He kissed your cheek over and over again. “Oh my gosh, sweetheart! This is so exciting and surprising! Why didn’t you tell me?” He placed his hands on your belly.

You chuckled and watched as he looked at your belly in amazement. “We wanted to surprise you. We hadn’t told anyone yet… Well besides Austin, Hangman, and Phoenix.” Mav looked at Austin with wide eyes.

“You knew before I did!” He chuckled.

Austin shrugged, “I promised I wouldn’t say anything.” Austin leaned in and kissed your cheek. “You look amazing, darlin.”

You smiled at the both of them. “Thank you.”

“So, how is he doing, sweetheart?” Mav stood up straight and looked at you while blowing out a worried unsteady breath. He placed his hands on his hips.

“He finished surgery 30 minutes ago. The doctor came to Hangman, Phantom, and I and explained the procedure. He has a lot of bumps, scratches, and bruises. He had to have a plate and screws put into his clavicle, it was broken into several pieces. There was some debris that cut a gauge into his shoulder that they had stapled and stitched up. He had some stitches put into his thigh from a cut. He has a couple broken ribs, he’s in a neck brace for stability, but no damage to vertebrae or spinal cord. They said he did lose a significant amount of blood so they transfused 3 bags into him.” You sighed, “But from what happened, they said it could have been a lot worse.”

Mav nodded and pulled you in for a hug, “I am so glad he is going to be okay. He has a long road to recovery, but he’s a Bradshaw. He’s going to be okay, sweetheart.” Mav placed a hard kiss to your temple.

Austin came and gave you.a hug and kiss on the head, “He’s right. He’ll be okay, darlin.”

“What’s he doing now? Is he still asleep from the anesthetic?” Mav furrowed his brows.

You shook your head, “They actually have him in a medically induced coma. They want his body to heal some, before they wake him up. They said he’d be in a lot of pain, so this was the best way for him to rest and recuperate.” You sighed.

Mav gulped, “I am so sorry, y/n. I know his is so hard, sweetheart.” Mav gave you another hug. “But that’s really good that they went ahead and did that for him.” Mav rubbed your back and rested his chin on your shoulder.

You started to cry in May’s embrace. “I know, but I could have lost him. You could have lost him. Leia, the boys, everyone.” You sniffled and held onto Mav tight.

Mav let out a sigh, “I know, honey, but we didn’t he is still here, my love.”

You laid your head to his, “I know and I’m trying to be so strong for him and the kids.”

Mav pulled you in closer to him, “And you are doing a great job of it, sweetheart. You are doing so good.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keep the faith strong for our daddy Brad. ❤️ "He's Bradley Bradshaw. He always just walks away with a couple of bumps and bruises." "He's a Bradshaw." I'll see you in the next chapter, babes! ❤️

My support group is in the comments 🫶🏼

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