#I think I wanna try some Monster ladies next tho

[fanby-fckry]

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

4 hr. ago

🌈 hells-disney-princess Follow

18 min. ago

🥺

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

3 min. ago

alright, alright, princess puppydog eyes. i’ll keep healing.

#fr tho thanks charlie #i think i needed to hear that #irl source

( 104 notes )

🪡 niffty-lady Follow

24 min. ago

smut writing tips: sexualise guilt

#writeblr writing tips #irl source

( 3,510 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

1 hr. ago

You can't spell advertisements without putting semen between tits

🎀 charlies-angel Follow

1 hr. ago

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

1 hr. ago

I’m right tho

#cut me some slack vaggs #i’m trying to distract myself from fomo intimacy issues and crushing shame #irl source

( 6,966 notes )

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

2 hr. ago

I like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and thinking "I have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

2 hr. ago

Your impending execution should be your second priority! Your first priority should ALWAYS be your commitment to the bit!

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

2 hr. ago

remember, they can’t kill you if you never tell them the punch line 😎👉👉

#jester’s privilege #irl source

( 55,728 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

3 hr. ago

What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel

🎀 charlies-angel Follow

2 hr. ago

do u mean excited

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

2 hr. ago

That’s it the bitch, thanks Vaggs

#changed my mind tho #would fuck a pumpkin #irl source

( 649 notes )

🪡 niffty-lady Follow

3 hr. ago

i don’t have rizz i have one (1) big doll eye and many unsettling things to say

#irl source

( 1,622 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

4 hr. ago

The fact that makeup is considered to be “mature” and “sexulized” implies that being a clown or mime is the sluttiest job out there

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

3 hr. ago

damn, angel, just @ me next time

#🤪 #jester’s privilege #irl source

( 17,379 notes )

🌈 hells-disney-princess Follow

5 hr. ago

how can people be so rude and not feel bad afterwards… When I don’t say thank you or don’t smile back I’ll think about it for 3 months straight and have flashbacks

#vent post #🌈 posts #irl source

( 18 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 1

if I make it outta this alive, I’m gonna tell my crush I’m in love with him.

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 1

fuck

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 3

ya know, I don’t think I’ve confessed to someone and meant it in over a decade?

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 3

haha would it be crazy if I said I forgot how?

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 5

today’s the day. i’m gonna do it.

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

5 hr. ago

guess what I did not do yesterday

#fuck why is this so hard? #i don’t know what’s wrong with me #fuck i need a drink

( 316 notes )

🍎 luci-goosey-666 Follow

Jul 4, 2013

Do you think Dad stays in Heaven because He too lives in fear of what He's created?

🍎 luci-goosey-666 Follow

6 hr. ago

I made this post 7 years ago after my wife left me and my life was falling apart.

These 7 years have been some of the darkest times in my life, and considering how fucking ancient I am, that’s really saying something.

I thought humanity was beyond cruel, that Sinners were nothing but awful, irredeemable monsters. My daughter and her hotel have taught me otherwise.

My life is finally looking up. I’m starting to regain a sense of clarity I haven’t had since fucking Eden. And I have her, her Fallen gf, and their rag-tag bunch of Sinners to thank for that.

So thank you, Charlie. I’ve said it in person, but I’ll say it again here. Thank you for showing me that the gift of free will was not wasted. That what I did wasn’t all bad. I love you, sweetie.

#wholesome

( 92,616 notes )

⬜️ voxblr-meta Follow

7 hr. ago

Fanby’s Fake Dash Masterpost

#meta #fake tumblr dash

( 29 notes )

#unreality cw #suggestive #fanby’s fuckery #fake tumblr dash #hazbin hotel #angel dust #charlie morningstar #niffty #vaggie #alastor #fizzarolli #lucifer hazbin hotel

[lemonfreak]

“Does it not peak your interest? To be with a God?

*Awkwardly peeps into the Void*

Hey, here’s some new art!

Some fanart of Alder from @killerkissed​‘s Beach Please! Which y’all should read because it is amazingly hot (she also has a really rad Masterlist, I love her stuff, but it’s very +18, so be warned)! And, uhhh, confession--I was the anon for the prompt as well...*sweats nervously* I honestly anon a lot on here (because I’m a hella shy wimp), but I’m trying to get over that??? (I also didn’t expect a full fledged fic! I kind of was just saying things because it said requests open and she was asking and I was like, “okay”--then this happened and then I died--I’ll shut up now)

Underneath is a gif of me making this thing!

#fanart #Killerkissed #my art #exophilia #alder #digital art #slight spice (if you look for it) #+18 on the invite #I'll post more soon #I think I wanna try some Monster ladies next tho #But also I got like another pic I gotta finish and I have a big galaxy brain idea for an animation/promotional? We'll see

[patt-writes-stuff]

Beach Days with The Genshin Characters!

Wc: 1.7k+

Type: Headcanons

CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe people being creeps? (None of the chars or you tho it’s very brief)

A/N: HI IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! These were supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited. If you by any chance wanna see some for your fav character lmk! I know it says request are closed in my bio but since it’s just hcs it’s a lot less (and I really enjoyed writing these so ajdhdhdk)

🔥Diluc:

This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.

Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.

He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.

So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.

He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.

Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.

He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.

If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.

He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.

If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.

Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.

If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.

All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.

🖌Albedo:

You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.

You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.

Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.

It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.

Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭

I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)

He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)

Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.

He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)

If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰

At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)

At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)

All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)

🦋Xiao:

I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.

He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.

However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)

Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍‍♂️ahdgshjsjd

Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.

I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.

He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)

As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.

Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.

I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.

He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.

Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.

All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.

💎Ningguang:

OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH

She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.

She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.

She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)

The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!

Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3

If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.

Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.

If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.

The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.

If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.

All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)

🍃Venti:

BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!

Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll ever conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?

No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).

He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.

HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!

He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.

If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.

If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…

At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.

I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.

#genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact Diluc x reader #Diluc x reader #diluc #genshin impact albedo x reader #Albedo x reader #Albedo #genshin impact xiao x reader #xiao x reader #Xiao #genshin impact ningguang x reader #ningguang x reader #ninggaung #genshin impact venti x reader #Venti x reader #venti #flavor: diluc #flavor: albedo #flavor: xiao #flavor: ningguang #flavor: venti #patt’s creations

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

Listen, I actually couldn't finish this episode. Like I lost brain cells, got ingestion and finally KO-ed because I could NOT grasp the plot. Not even seeing Lena again made this enjoyable for me. But here's what I got:

- I wonder how many takes Thomas took to say Nxyly's full name without biting his tongue off

- also I am so sorry Thomas that they had you sing. And yet somehow that wasn't the most cringe thing to happen in this episode

- Nia and Kara desperately assigning blame to themselves instead of just, idk, working together to fix the problem. Who cares who's fault it is??

- Alex jumping in front of kara when mxy brandishes the PZ projector is the only thing I liked

- Kelly's absence felt so odd after 2 back to back episodes of her front and centre

- Nia thinking that Kara would drag her for making a mistake makes me wonder if these characters even know each other

- kara: "I should've told you guys about Nxyly". Yes you idiot you absolutely should have! Like I get that they don't wanna bring it up but like how is ignoring what happened to her any better? Do they not do any Intel sharing?

- the fucking zookeeper is still here?!?!?

- look I wasn't expecting Lena to be talking to kara on the phone, I know better than that, but I had hoped it would at least be Nia considering that Lena and her have been bonding over their moms and it just makes sense??

- andrea's titty window sans kara or Lena to see it. What was it all for?

- I understand Lena using Andrea's resources to help her out and shit and I'm actually surprised the writer's remembered she doesn't have access to the LuthorCorp jet anymore. I honestly wouldn't have batted an eye if she did tho.

- the way we haven't had ANY scenes of dialogue between kara and lena aside from 6x01 and only ONE line from kara to Lena since then. Like are they actually going to brush everything under the goddamn rug? We heard from Alex that they've forgiven each other and it seems that way too but we haven't actually had the chance to judge that as an audience and it's (checks notes) 11 episodes already???

-Kara is back and yet Lena doesn't seem full. Kara is back and yet she hasn't been vulnerable with lena or with anyone really. Or was that all a lie?

- Nxyly is actually kinda hot in this episode. Interesting development there

- the team actually fighting a giant pussy cat and more brain cells have died. If they were hoping it would be amusing like the Legends fighting a giant Beebo, spoiler alert - it was not

- mxy and Nxyly and even the king has some keysmash names but one imp is actually named Jared? Just fucking Jared. Christ

- Lena being bullied by a bunch of Canadians is hilarious and I say this as a Canadian. Like Lena has stood her ground against Lex, Lillian, SG, an interrogation room filled with judgemental pricks, fucking Reign and yet, she looked two seconds from crying when denied her hotel room by some fucking Newfies. Get the fuck outa here.

- not a single Tim Hortons run in this entire episode. Are we sure she even went to Canada???

- at one point, I was rooting for Nxyly to win.

- so not only did they bring back that god awful wig that they actually had the audacity to make footage with it? That thing needs to be snatched and thrown into the sun like the trash monster.

- Katie looked so done in this episode and I don't even blame her. I suffered second hand embarrassment on her behalf. Those lines, her behaviour. It's like what the fuck happened to the Lena from the past 4 seasons?

- the mean bartender says "I've seen you on the news running arm in arm with a bulletproof alien" and the places my mind went is probably why I didn't pay any attention to the rest of the episode.

- so lemme see if I have this right. Lena's mom visits the cave lady in her dreams but never once thought to visit her traumatized little daughter?

- am I supposed to be upset that they killed an abuser? Because I'm not

- so much porn shots of the town car driving up and down some sketch and lonely road

- did Google maps really lead Lena to some random cave?? Bruh

- Lena's scenes felt so disconnected for a minute I thought I was watching a completely different show.

- aluminum foil on the props lord did they just say fuck it and made a Dollarama run for the cheapest 200ft roll they could buy?

- Kara being a mentor to Nia for the first time since that Nia centric episode last season. God I hate it here.

- they do remember J'onn is a shape shifter right? Why do we need an image inducer? I get the little Lena is still with the team crumb but it's stupid.

- still no word on M'gann huh

- yo since the Luthors are technically perceived on Earth-Prime as "good", what trail of bodies is this bar lady talking about? This isn't public knowledge and Lena's mom only killed 1 dude who frankly deserved it.

- sigh. We're really doing this witch Lena thing then.

- kara stop trying to reach the good in people! Just stop. When has this bullshit EVER WORKED? Some people are just too far gone. Accept it.

- stronger together has truly lost meaning on this show

- Alex and Kara being so willing to hold much less use the PZ projector is utter bullshit. Also they just have that thing lying around for any grabby hands to take?

- what the actual fuck is Kara's arc this season? Or Alex? Or poor J'onn. The man has been seriously neglected.

- kara is supposed to be the most powerful being on the planet and yet this show continues to nerf her abilities. God I missed the days of S1 when Kara looked like she could fuck shit up.

- also when is kara going to be the focus of her own show again? Are we ever going to properly address Kara's issues? We got two episodes of James processing his trauma and only 5 mins of flashbacks in 6x08 for Kara and a few fleeting moments sprinkled across the last 5 seasons. Ridiculous. Like it won't diminish her as a character to seek professional help, it won't make her any less of a hero. Think of how impactful that would be and the message that could send about the importance of mental health.

- glad to see a promo for this important episode next week (I honestly can't wait - Kelly in a head wrap is so personal to me y'all) but please I'm begging you, do not make the issue of race come at the expense of kara's intelligence and awareness. She's a journalist, she's seen xenophobia and written about it, she's been friends with James for years. Kara knows about racism. Please show that.

Needless to say I did not enjoy this episode at all. I was happy to see Lena again but all her scenes were just hard to watch. I feel like so much of their very limited time is being wasted and there's still so many things they haven't touched upon yet. When exactly are we gonna get to it? Better question, will we ever get to it? Probably not.

Like I wanted to see the super friends communicating, leaning on each other, character growth, being truly stronger together but no. They're giving us literally anything but that and it's frustrating.

#every week i ask myself #why are you still watching this mess? #idk self. idk #supercorp #supergirl

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #887: An Epic Dream (Sonic)

Tails: You dreamt about fighting an giant monster last night?

Amy: Yep. I think it was the beast with the giant antlers.

Amy: U know, the one from that new Monster Hunter game you and Sonic started playing recently.

Tails: You're talking about the Rajang, right? Is this him?

Tails: Rajang.jpg

Amy: The name sounds a little weird, but that's EXACTLY what he look like!

Amy: So, we were having ourselves a one on one battle in the middle of the city. It was really intense, but thanks to everyone's words of encouragement and the unyielding spirit of never giving up, I managed get myself back up on my feet and give him the biggest smackdown of his lifetime!

Amy: Once he's defeated and the crowd cheers in pure happiness and rejoice, my darling Sonic rushes over to my side, lay one knee down, confesses his love to me, and asked my hand in marriage~ It was such a wonderful moment~ ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Amy: And then the dream ends from there and I've been salty about it ever since! ರ╭╮ರ

Tails: Lol wow. You put in more details on the proposal part than you did on the actual fight.

Amy: Yeah, but could u blame me tho?

Amy: I really love that part of the dream~

Amy: Wish it had a proper conclusion at least!

Tails: I'm sure you'll have a chance to dream about it once the day is over with.

Tails: Or whenever you feel tired enough to go back to sleep.

Amy: Well, unfortunately for me, I already have a long day ahead of me for today.

Amy: I have to go to the grocery store to pick up some for Thanksgiving in the next two weeks.

Amy: Wanna come with?

Tails: Sure.

Tails: What kind of things are you picking up from the store if you don't mind me asking.

Amy: Some ingredients for my famous Strawberry Rosey Pie.

Tails: No way!

Tails: You're actually gonna make it for Thanksgiving this year!?

Amy: Yep!~

Amy: I figured since u and Sonic like them so much, I would try and make a bunch of them for everyone in the mansion to enjoy too.

Amy: I'll even have Ms. Peach and the other ladies to help me out too.

Tails: That's great!

Tails: I can't wait to eat those pies again, they're amazing!!

Amy: I can't wait to make them again for the holiday occasion.

Amy: Ooh! And I also need to buy a pack of pockies for Sonic and I to use together!

Tails: You know you can always ask Sonic to kiss you anytime, right?

Amy: I know!~ But.....Today's Pockey Day and I wanna make the kiss special for the occasion, ya know?

Tails: Wait. That's an ACTUALLY holiday!?

Amy: Yeah. It's been a thing for a while now.

Tails: And here I thought Kiss Day was ridiculous........

Amy: HEY! Don't disrespect those the two holidays, young man!

Amy: They are just as special and important as any other well known holiday.

Tails: In a romantic sense.

Amy: Yes. But my point still stands.

Tails: Alright, fine. I'll buy you a pack of pockies or two myself. It'll save you from buy them and all of the ingredients for the pies altogether.

Amy: Aww~ Thanks, sweetie. You're the best~

Amy: And in return, I'll be sure to buy u a pack for u and Coco too.

Tails: AMY!

Amy: Kidding! Kidding lol! I love you tho!~

Tails: Yeah. Yeah.... Love you too, sis.

Happy Pockey Day

@keyenuta

@26shann

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@caleb13frede

@lovekittynoir

@rechicken-and-waffles

#sonic series #amy rose #miles tails prower #sonic (mentioned) #peach (mentioned) #coco (mentioned) #text message #fluff #humor #sonamy #tech buddies (mentioned) #just found out today's pockey day #thanksgiving month

[everyothermouse]

Hmhm I love you I love the au u made I need the p l o t but I don’t want to bother you uhhh was yea ok <:)

ok!!! Basically there are 2 plots that converge, a silly lil camp in the woods and a fae love story! Let’s go under the cut for this cus I’m gonna be explaining them for a hot minute lol

I’m gonna make a breakdown of all the individual characters in a minute but for now here’s a chart I just finished so u know whos where in all this

(Eros not on here but he’s a forest folk) So I’ll give u an expo on both of the plots (feel free to come ask questions as ur reading or after ur done, I would Love to talk abt this au as much as possible)

The fae side: Eliana here’s from two of her townsfolk (the twins) that there are fae in the woods. All her fellow townspeople say they’re just being pranksters again (the amount of times they’ve tried to convince the town there’s totally a werewolf just outside of town is too many for them to be a trustworthy source- and as aspiring nightwalker hunters of course they’re trying to spot fae in every leaf and under every rock), but Eliana, curious, decides to sneak off one night to investigate. After all if there’s a fae out there, it’s her responsibility to ward it off from her town! what she finds though is not a silly lie from the twins or a terrifying manipulative monster- in A flower patch she sees her, the most beautiful charming looking fairy she’s every seen, all alone weaving a flower crown in the woods. He spots her, and although she’s scared at first and wards them with her axe, she can’t bear to attack him. they hit it off really quickly, and Shirley shows her the beauty of the hidden parts of the forest, lit up by the magic of the moon, as opposed to the normal sunlit forest Eliana is used to. She returns home at dawn with promises to come back the next day. Meanwhile Shirley goes home to his ghost husband like ‘omg I just met the prettiest lady evr, she’s coming back tomorrow can we keep her’ and Thomas is like ‘bro we already have jr‘ and Shirley is like ‘no but I want to kiss her 🥺 and hold hands 🥺🥺🥺 and trap her in the fae lands forever with me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺’ and Thomas is obviously slightly jealous but he’s like ‘yeah whatever’ bcus he knows if Shirley does try and make out with some daywalker he’s prolly gonna kill her by accident anyways jdgfufndkc. so Eliana starts going out every night with the excuse that she’s choppin down wood, (ninas suspicious of this excuse but Michael tells her eliana wouldn’t lie,) and Shirley keeps trying to get her to stay forever and eat all their food and introduces her to Thomas and jr and stuff, and it’s nice and all but shirleys making her stay for longer and longer, and he can’t handle letting her go for even a second. Eliana doesn’t mind tho, she’s totally blind with love, and eventually she’s tells the town abt Shirley but that he’s totally not like other fae and definitely cool and there’s mixed feelings, some ‘awwww Eliana finally found a girlfriend, so sweet 🥰’s and some ‘they’re not different ur just being manipulated, we should go kill him’s and even some ‘huh, wasn’t that the name of the guy Harley was crying abt not being able to remember, lol crazy coincidence, Emerson let’s go bully harley’s.

yeah but Shirley has fucking crazy attachment issues and horrible death magic, so eventually one morning he does get REALLY upset abt his girlfriend leaving, like the whole tree (Thomas and Shirley live in a treehouse) is dying around him and Thomas is holding jr begging him to calm down, and Elianas finally like ‘hmm. Maybe this was a bad idea’ and that’s about where we are rn with that whole thing.

CAMP TIME: so as shown from chart above, there’s some ppl living in a lil forest camp together :) emi and graci moved there because they wanna learn how to hunt nightwalkers >:) there was a reason for it a couple years ago but they kind of forgot what it was (cough Shirley disappearing cough) but they’re still dead set on it! And lucky dink, as they’re moving to camp big Harley comes home to visit his brothers and ends up joining the camp for a bit since all 3 of his brothers are there! Camp Side of the story doesn’t have a ton of plot, mostly Harley low key having a crisis abt how busy his life at his actual home is and how everything feels so horribly off here even though hypothetically things haven’t changed much since he left and the twins fucking around and causing trouble around camp. Hallow thinks it’s funny that the stupid kids wanna hunt night walkers cus he is one, so he gives them the tip that theres a vampire in camp and they become dead set on it being Jane. All the kids like playing with Ben like he’s a whole ass jungle gym, he thinks it’s cute. kibi gets dragged around by emi and graci while they try to find the werewoof at the edge of town (sadly they only find Andy, darn, but he plays them some songs so not a total waste. also yes Andy is obviously the werewolf the twins are just stupid GDSHDSJD.) charlotte sits around crying and the other kids and counselors like to play a game where they all take turns trying to make her laugh (the first time the twins came to camp Emerson made her giggle, belle and Ben were so happy they were just sitting there sobbing bcus their girl finally smiled again, so Charlie quietly suggested they make it a new daily game because he hadn’t seen Ben and belle that hopeful in years :,) ). jr and Maria go around biting peoples ankles and collecting sticks. After hearing emi and graci talk abt town, Jane decided she wants to go visit town, Danny‘s super hesitant but the other 3 camp counselors all agree that since she’s 16 now she’s definitely old enough to go where she wants. While shes there she goes to a festival and meets Andy (17) and it’s nice :) also hallow has ero Boyf who visits sometimes and Danny’s got husb Sébastien who he and Jane visit a lot.

ya that’s pretty much all the plot stuff for now! there’s some more backstory stuff abt thomas dying with Charlotte watching and Shirley going missing and what not but yea that’s pretty much it :D

#Not art #🌱 #Uhh I don’t have a tag for the au yet but I’ll add it once I have a name #Sorry this took so long I was REALLY excited to infodump abt this au shdhdhs #Blinding light au

[t4twolfstar]

Pearl Jam songs as the marauders' story

listen here

explanations under read more

Red Mosquito - Remus is bit by Greyback

two steps ahead of him, punctures in your neck…/ Hoverin' just above your bed... (2x)/ I was bitten...must have been the devil…/ He was just paying me…/ A little visit, reminding me of his presence…

Jeremy - most of the song, Sirius

Okay so we’re going to look at the verses not the refrain for this one bc (TW su*) this song is based on an actual boy who diy died in front of his class so like no we’re not relating to that part but the “Clearly I remember/ Pickin’ on the boy/ Seemed a harmless little fuck/ But we unleashed the lion….Daddy didn't give affection, no/And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear”

Daughter - Sirius at home

Trans sirius in an abusive household………. “Mother reads aloud, child tries to understand it/Tries to make her proud/ The shades go down, it's in her head/ Painted room, can't deny that something's wrong/ Don’t call me daughter, not fit to”

Leash - Sirius and Remus’ toxic codependent love and then yelling at the establishment/people who say they’re too young going too deep too hard too fast

“Troubled souls unite/ We got ourselves tonight, oh/ I am fuel you are friends we got the means to make amends/ I am lost I'm no guide but I'm by your side/ I am right by your side….We will find a way we will find our place/ Drop the leash drop the leash/Get outta' my fuckin' face”

Why Go? - Sirius becoming disenchanted w his family

Trans Sirius too of course. She seems to be stronger/ But what they want/ Her to be is weak/ She could play pretend/ She could join the game, boy/ She could be another clone….don’t come visit/mother/ why go home?

Blood - Sirius’ family trying to make him into something he’s not

Spin me round/ Roll me over/ Fucking circus/ Stab it down/ One way needle/ Pulled so slowly/ Drains and spills/ Soaks the pages/ Fills their sponges/ It’s my blood/ It’s my blood

WMA - basically about all the big pureblood families that can get away w anything

“He won the lottery when he was born/ Took his mothers white breast to his tongue/ Do no wrong so clean cut/ Dirty his hands, it comes right off” (tw for song: police, implied police violence)

Do the Evolution - Sirius ranting abt/mocking his family

Admire me, admire my home/ Admire my son, he's my clone…./ I'll do what I want but irresponsibly/ It’s evolution, baby/ I’m a thief, I'm a liar/ There’s my church, I sing in the choir:/ (Hallelujah, hallelujah)

Bushleaguer - abt the aristocracy etc

This song is literally about George bush lmao but I love it abt the upper class

“Born on third, thinks he got a triple…./The aristocrat choir sings, "what's the ruckus?”/ The haves have not a clue/ The immenseness of suffering”

Mind your manners - You guessed it - Sirius rejecting his family

I've got an unfortunate feelin’/ I've been beaten down/I feel I don't believe/ And now the truth is coming out/ What they've taken is more than a vow/ They’ve taken your innocence/ And then they throw them on a burning fire/ All along they're sayin’/ Mind your manners

My father’s son - SIRIUS

I am my father's son,/ Yeah, too bad he was a psychopath and now I'm the next in line, , dear mother, yes, surely she's a work of art,…/Can I get a reprieve?/ This gene pool dark and deep…./Now father you're dead and gone and I'm finally free to be me,/ Thanks for all your dark gifts for which I've got no sympathy,/ I’m living in a walled-up place in the bounds of 5th symphony

Yellow Ledbetter - Sirius

Okay so 97% of the the lyrics are indecipherable when Eddie sings them but you can hear I don’t wanna stay

Go - Regulus to Sirius as he’s trying to leave

(Abuse tw) So sorry about this one yall …… .but yes I think this is regulus finally realizing that he shouldn’t have let things get so bad at home (Sirius blames him for not stepping in even tho he’s a child there’s nuance here etc) and he’s begging Sirius not to leave him here “Oh please don't go out on me don't go out on me now/ Never acted up before don't go on me now/ I swear I never took it for granted just thought of it now/ Suppose I abused you just passing it on….I pulled the covers over him shoulda' pulled the alarm/ Turned to my nemesis…Please don't go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ please”

Rearviewmirror - Sirius running away

(Tw abuse) Time to emancipate/ I guess it was the beatings made me wise….Forced to endure/ What I could not forgive/ I seem to look away/ Wounds in the mirror waved/ It wasn't my surface most defiled

Can’t Keep - Sirius running away from home

I want to shake/ I want to wind out/ I want to leave/ This mind and shout/ I’ve lived/ All this life/ Like an ocean/ In disguise/ I don't live for ever/ You can't keep/ Me here

Hail, Hail - Remus and Sirius’ codependent strong love

A how I love you till the day I die...ah and beyond…/ are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?/ It’s egg rollin' thick and heavy...all the past we carry…

Release - Remus thinking about his dad

Remus’ dad is so full of guilt for his hand in remus’ transformations that he extracted himself from remus’ life. Remus laments here, “Oh, dear dad/ Can you see me now?/ I am myself/ Like you somehow” “I'll hold the pain/Release me” he’d would rather have a dad, guilt and all, here, than the self appointed absence but since you left me with the absence and grief and loss of it, at least release me from it, loosen your grip so I can move on.

Present Tense - Sirius and Remus talking probably laying in the forbidden forest assuaging one another’s beliefs of the gnarled beasts they think they are

BUGS - prob remus when he turns before the boys know

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Who you are - probably James at remus when he thinks he’s a big monster

Who are we?/ Who we are./ What’s your part? Who you are / You are who you are.

Save you - GOD THIS SONGG okay this is probably James @ Sirius when home life is bad and also Sirius @ Remus and also Remus @ Sirius it’s all of them @ all of them

Gonna save you fucker, not gonna lose you/ Feeling cocky and strong, can't let you go,/ Too important to me/ Too important to us, we'd be lost without you/ Baby, let yourself fall, I'm right below you now/ And fuck me if I say something you don't want to hear/ And fuck if you only hear what you want to hear/ Fuck me if I care, but I'm not leaving here/ You helped me when I was down, I'll help when you're down/ Why are you hitting yourself, c'mon hit me instead

Life Wasted - Sirius @ Reg re: leaving

I escaped it, a life wasted./ I’m never going back again…./ You're always saying you're too weak to be Strong./ You’re harder on yourself than just about Anyone/ Why swim the channel just to get this far?/ Halfway there, why would you turn around?

Severed Hand - Reg joins the death eaters

Big man stands behind an open door/ Said, leave your lady on the cement floor./ Got some kicks, want to take a ride?/ I said, yeah!/ Oh please understand I just need, my friend,/ A way a way a way home

Brain of J. - Reg and Sirius arguing after he joins the death eaters

The whole world will be different soon/ The whole world will be relieving/ You, you've been taught/ We’d been the same, now they got you in line/ Stand behind the stripes/ There will be order, so give it a good mind…./And by name/ The name they gave me/ The name I'm letting go

Deep - Regulus knows he’s in too deep

This is Regulus knowing he’s in too deep, Voldemort and the death eaters are such bad fucking people and he’s in too deep now (massive tw for this song for drugs and se*ual violence)

“Ponders his Maker, ponders his will/ in too deep/ can’t touch the bottom”

Pilate - Remus abt Sirius ;0)

Like Pilate I have a dog/ (Obeys listens kisses loves)/ Walks me out of town/ Still one's a crowd/ Making angels in the dirt/ Looking up looking all around

You Are - in love 🥰

Love is a tower/ Of strength to me/ I am the shoreline/ But you're the sea

Red Bar - the war begins

War, I’m crazy/ War I’m crazy I’m war the song is also a lil goofy so it’s maybe just like going crazy being so in it that it’s funny now

Porch - WARTIME EVERYONE @ THEIR LOVERS

It’s the war and everyone knows today could be their last day and tensions are running high in relationships and they love each other so much and need each other but snap at one another nonetheless

What the fuck is this world running to?/ You didn't leave a message/ At least I could have learned your voice one last time/ Daily minefield, this could be my time by you/ Would you hit me? Would you hit me?/ Hear my name, take a good look/ This could be the day/ Hold my hand, walk beside me

Thin Air - babes in love

There's a light, when my baby's in my arms,/ There’s a light, when the window shades are drawn…/ And I know she's reached my heart, in thin air.

All or None - More war time songs soz

Here's the selfless confession/ Leading me back to war/ Can we help that our destinations/ Are the ones we've been before?/ I still try to run on/ But it's all or none

Parting Ways - Lily @ James during the war

She knows their future's burning/ But she can smile just the same, same/ And though her mood is fine today/ There’s a fear they'll soon be parting ways

Love Boat Caption - Sirius/Remus, Lily/James, etc etc. during the war

Love boat captain/ Take the reigns and steer us towards the clear, here/ It’s already been sung, but it can't be said enough/ All you need is loveIt's an art to live with pain/ Mix the light into grey/ Lost nine friends we'll never know/ Two years ago today/ And if our lives became too long/ Would it add to our regret?…./Hold me and make it the truthThat when all is lost, there will be you

Evacuation - going into hiding

Lukin- Lily and James have to go into hiding

(Tw st*lking mention in explanation, gun mention in song) The song was written by Eddie when he was being stalked and he had to bring himself and his wife to a friend’s house for safety.

In Hiding - Lily and James are in hiding and enter Peter

No way in or out/ I turned and walked the hallways/ And pulled the curtains down…./I swallow the truth to keep from lying/ i'm no longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now/ Yeah, it's funny how things change so much/ It’s all state of mind

Once - Peter Pettigrew betraying the marauders

Literally about someone committing a mass murder. “Once upon a time I could control myself.” “Mimic whats insane.”

Around the Bend - I'm so sorry ummm but Lily to Harry on Halloween 💀

I am wishing you a well…./ I hold your head deep in my arms/ My fingertips, they close your eyes/ Off you dream, my little child/ There’s a sun around the bend/ Please forgive me, won't you, dear?/ Please forgive and let me share with you, around the bend/ You’re an angel when you sleep/ How I want your soul to keep, on and on around the bend

Garden - Sirius being taken to Azkaban

He’s just taking his fate as it comes to him.

The direction of the eye/ So misleading/ The defection of the soul/ Nauseously quick/I will walk, with my hands bound/ I will walk, with my face blood/ I will walk, with my shadow flag/ Into your garden/ Garden of stone

Even flow - IS SO VERY MUCH SIRIUS IN AZKABAN

sung from the pov of an incarcerated person waiting for life to begin again

BUGS - Sirius in Azkaban (yes I already said this abt remus but idc)

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Black - Remus lamenting about Sirius’ perceived deception

Remembering their love and how now so many of his memories are tainted (by) black and that all of this has changed him fundamentally (star imagery, “black”, “tattooed everything”)

Indifference - Sirius in grimmauld place, sirius in Azkaban

Sirius taking his home life in stride until he can leave, taking Azkaban in stride bc it doesn’t matter any way bc he believes he deserve it anyway

“Pretend I'm free to roam/ I will make my way/ Through one more day in hell/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I will hold the candle/ Till it burns up my arm/ Oh, I'll keep takin' punches/ Until their will grows tired/ Oh, I will stare the sun down/ Until my eyes go blind/ Hey, I won't change direction/ And I won't change my mind/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I’ll swallow poison, until I grow immune/ I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room”

Alive - Remus post ’81

Eddie originally wrote the song as a lament - why did I live when he didn’t? Why am I still alive?

“Is something wrong she said, of course there is, you’re still alive she said, but do I deserve to be?”

Animal - Remus after ’81 when he needs to transform alone

Feat. A throwback to being turned (so tw: abd*ction) “Torture from you to me, yeah/Abducted from the street/I'd rather be with an animal”

Nothingman - Sirius and Remus after ’81

Once divided nothing left to subtract/ Some words when spoken can't be taken back/ Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking/ Future’s above but in the past he's slow and sinking…./ She once believed in every story he had to tell/ One day she stiffened took the other side/ Empty stares from each corner of a shared prison cell/ One just escapes one's left inside the well

Smile - Remus @ the marauders (except it’s after ’81 and he just thinks of them fondly)

Don't it make you smile?/ I miss you already/ I miss you always/ I miss you already/ I miss you all day/ This is how I feel/ Three crooked hearts swirls all around/ Don’t it make you smile?

In my tree - remus abt sirius after ’81

I remember him, yeah…/ I swore I knew everything, oh yeah…/ They say knowledge is a dream, yeah…/ He's growing up just like me, yeah…

Light Years - Remus abt Sirius

But now you're gone, I haven't figured out why/ I’ve come up with riddles and jokes about war/ I’ve figured out numbers and what they're for/ I’ve understood feelings and I've understood words/ But how could you be taken away?/ Back pages and days alone that could have been spent/ Together, but we were miles apart Every inch between us becomes light years now

I’m open - Remus!!!! Post ’81

After spending half his life searching he still felt as blank/ As the ceiling at which he stared/ He is alive but feels absolutely nothing/ So is he?/ When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him/…..So this is what it's like to be an adult/ If he only knew now what he knew then

Thumbing my Way - Remus post ’81 again blah blah ikik

I can't be free with what's locked inside of me/ If there was a key you took it in your hand/ There’s no wrong or right but I'm sure there's good and bad/ The questions linger overhead

Rats - we know how remus like to soliloquize …. This is him waxing poetic about how fucking horrible Peter is

The song itself is kind of listing the many ills of humankind saying how rats don’t compare to people bc they don’t do all this. But Peter isnt really a rat. He’s a man and oppresses like a man and betrays like a man and takes like a man.

“Drink the blood of their so-called best friend….They don't scurry when something bigger comes their way….Don't take what's not theirs“

Oceans - Sirius escaping Azkaban

Hold on to the thread/ The currents will shift, glide me towards/ You know something's left/ And we're all allowed to dream of the next…..The sea will rise/ Please stand by the shore/ I will be there once more

Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town - Sirius after Azkaban

200004309248% sirius returning from 12 years isolated. He doesn’t really recognize most things. Remus wouldn’t recognize him. He’s different. Changed by being unchanged. He couldn’t grow and learn and morph and become. He stagnated yet decayed. But he’s back and he recognizes your skin and your breath. He’s back.

Off He Goes - Sirius is a Sagittarius in the first half, second half is post PoA

Know a man his face seemed pulled and tense/ Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds/ So I approach with tact/ Suggest that he should relax/ But he's always movin' much too fast/ Said he'll see me on the flip side/ On this trip he's taken for a ride…./ And now I rub my eyes for he has returned/ Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned/ For he still smiles and he's still strong/ Nothing’s changed, but the surrounding bullshit, that has grown/ And now he's home, and we're laughing, like we always did/ My same old, same old friend/ Until a quarter-to-ten

All Those Yesterdays - and cue the bath scene, remus washes his lost love

Don't you think you oughta rest?/ Don’t you think you oughta lay you head down?/ You don't think there's time to stop/ There’s time enough for you to lay your head down tonight tonight/ Let it wash away/ All those yesterdays

#literally put me down #unless you like it #then kiss me #some of these are big brain and i do want yall to read it at least but i also know I'm like a feral dog rn so it's ok #text post #long post #read more #playlist #pearl jam #marauders #harry potter #hp hc #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #lily evans

[jacks4eva]

reaction to the lost hero by rick riordan

imma be honest this is a long time coming, okay so here’s the timeline we’re looking at so you understand me. i read lightning thief in middle school, dropped it and read it again in ninth grade. then i read sea of monsters, but never started titan’s curse. then for some reason in 11th grade i bought the second book in heroes of olympus and started to read it and got confused so i started to read titan’s curse and got to when percy took artemis’s place and then dropped it...again. very sad that time considering it was LEGIT THE END SO CLOSE. anyway yesterday i read the whole thing again and the battle of the labrinyth in like 6-8 hours. idk i can’t remember if i started at 10pm or midnight but i finished at 6am. anyways today i read the last olympian, and now i’m starting the lost hero. i thought it’d be funny to do my reactions.

this timeline is just funny because i have read so many books, and yet the most popular ones like percy jackson and harry potter, didn’t wanna finish lol. i still haven’t finished goblet of fire yet i read 100 pages an hour and could probably finish it in a day. anyways.

let the reactions begin

okay i’ve heard of jason but i was not expecting a pov already

woah electrocution

he’s already got a love interest what

he said the coach is 5’0 i now imagine the coach as danny devito i have no choice

piper and leo yes i recognize these names

(i’ve seen a lot of posts about percy jackson okay)

i like leo i don’t like dylan

i love the starwars reference

oh look guys we got popular girls that are racist, can they get their asses beat in this pls

dylan is also racist for smiling-asswipe

we love the cherokee representation

i hate them so much can they please leave

“i had to say something” i like coach hedge is this bad

i hope percy is the storm but i just know i wouldn’t be that lucky

ofc dylan is a racist monster

danny devito never returned :(

PLS TELL ME THESE REINFORCEMENTS ARE PERCY AND ANNABETH

who is the bulky dude

i’m sorry i’m laughing he’s a big scary dude with his head shaved and A RAINBOW TATTOO and his name is butch

oh so that’s why percy isn’t here

okay usually when reading i can form some kind of theory or connection but at this point i literally have no clue what is happening

i just knew as soon as he asked that he had abilities with fire but i was not expecting fire fingers

wow what a first impression “you should be dead”

wait so all i remember from the son of neptune was the beginning had percy alone i think and i’m not sure if he had his memory or maybe not and he was running away from monsters, so is what’s happening to jason similar to that? and WILL PERCY NOT BE FOUND IN THIS BOOK?

“That also was necessary. Long ago, your father gave me your life as a gift to placate my anger. He named you Jason, after my favorite mortal. You belong to me.

“Whoa,” Jason said. “I don’t belong to anyone.”

Now is the time to pay your debt, she said. Find my prison. Free me, or their king will rise from the earth, and I will be destroyed. You will never retrieve your memory.”

... okay theories, um a goat skin cloak was mentioned to have been owned by Zeus’s foster mother and that he owned it so the woman could either be the foster mother or Hera. If it was Hera, it would make sense that Zeus gave his son to placate her anger at his cheating or whatever. They are also trapped in Olympus, so prison would make sense. Hera was brought up a lot too, and according to wiki Hera persuaded Aphrodite to make her son make Medea fall in love with a mortal named Jason, so more than likely the lady is Hera. Their king will rise from earth could be the king from the battle of the labrynth, maybe. Or another king ya know there are so many.

Wait a minute

Something else I know about their names is Jason’s last name...JASON GRACE I thought it sounded familiar, because of Thalia Grace. Hah look at me being correct. That explains the flying and not being burnt by a lightning bolt—oh I’m stupid for not seeing it sooner.

Now just gotta figure out who Piper’s parent is.

Aha so I was right it was Hera.

Chiron not being able to give the information they need is kind of annoying.

Enceladus? So a giant offspring of Gaia, um...no bueno. Not a king tho.

“Child of lightning, beware the earth, The giants’ revenge the seven shall birth, The forge and dove shall break the cage, And death unleash through Hera’s rage.”

Okay theory time, child of lightning is obviously Jason. Beware the Earth...yeah no clue. The giants’ revenge the seven shall birth, the giants are probably the children of Gaia since that one giant was her child and it’s the seven are probably the seven half bloods from the great prophecy. The forge and dove shall break the cage, um maybe Leo is the forge since he’s hephaestus’s child (probably butchered the spelling). Doves are typically associated with aphrodite/venus, so idk about that. Maybe Piper is Venus’s child, I mean her God parent is her mom and it’d be funny since she was judging the other aphrodite kids. Also I assume Hera will kill whoever trapped her or someone involved since she’s so mad. Idk.

Could kill Drew btw.

CALLED IT CALLED IT CALLED IT IM A GENIUSSS

Wait. This woman looks like Hera, her clothes are made of Earth and she said Leo would fight her children trying to wake her. They’re gonna try to wake Gaia, which would make sense that it said stay away from Earth if she’s the Earth Goddess

I like the wolves thing because Romulus and Remus, ya know the twin boys who were raised by wolf and started Rome.

“You are our saving grace, as always. The she-wolf curled her lip, as if she had just made a clever joke”

I mean yeah his last name is grace

“She must really like this Percy guy to search for him so hard, and that made Jason a little envious. Was anyone searching for him right now? What if somebody cared for him that much and was going out of her mind with worry, and he couldn’t even remember his old life?”

so what if Percy’s just chilling at the Roman version of camp halfblood without a clue to who he is? bro.

Imagine reading this and seeing all of things I get right and wrong and wanting to slam your head into a wall.

Okay like idk why Annabeth was freaking out we kind of knew they were siblings, I mean they have the same dad. Unless this is saying they have the same mom or are twins or something. That’d be cool. That’s probably what he’s saying tbh but still, could’ve emphasized it more than “that’s my sister” like dude.

Anyway, they look very different so that’s funny.

King Boreas? uh.

Oo French

Let’s see what I can translate from the very little duolingo I did. Bienvenu, maybe a greeting. Idk which tho. Je suis Piper, I am Piper. Et c’est Jason, fils de Zeus, and this is Jason, son of Zeus. Vous parlez francais? tres bien, you speak french? good. Hey not bad, not shockingly good but considering I did the duolingo lessons 4 years ago, not bad. Vrai? Truth? Yeah I just looked it up.

Danny devito is alive!

“Leo scratched his head. “Well, I dunno about Enchiladas—”

“Enceladus,” Piper corrected.”

Leo is me omfg

DANNY DEVITO IS BACK

Arrows...HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS PLS?

“Leo stepped out next. “You’re catching me, too, Superman. But I ain’t holding your hand.”

this made me laugh ok moving on

Uh fight a sea monster? bro is Jason just Percy 2.0

“Aphrodite’s message was clear: This one needs no improvement.

And Piper agreed.”

I wonder if you can hear me squealing from hundreds or thousands of miles away

Did you miss the fact that he’s thirty feet tall— I DIED

Who slew titan k-what now? So basically yes. Percy 2.0

Okay I recognize the name Hazel, and all I ask is that she is not involved with Jason because Jason and Piper are really freaking cute.

an exchange of leaders, SO THEY DID SWITCH THEM

The way I called it

I WAS RIGHT AHA

anyways. time to read son of neptune

#rick riordan #percabeth #jason grace #thalia grace #piper x jason #the lost hero #heroes of olympus #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #hera #aphrodite #leo valdez

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Eleven liveblog of The Mandalorian Season 2!  Let’s go!!!

Yeet water episode

Ok random planet, I’m assuming this is planet whatsit where Din’s supposed to be Space Ubering Frog Lady and her (remaining lol) eggs to

Oh yeah shit Shelob really busted up the Razor Crest last time

Awww everyone sleeby and lol Mama’s keepin’ a good watch over her eggs this time

OH MY GOD YODITO I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

“Dank Ferrik” as a swear word again, huh, I’ll note that

Surprise surprise once again they gotta crash land because this is Star Wars and ships never work right

Lol this Mon Calamari dude is just like “......well then”

Bro ur gonna break those eggs

WHY ISN’T THE BABY BUCKLED INTO HIS SEAT EXCUSE ME

Pffffff another happy landing

AHAHA I’M THE MON CALAMARI

Ohoooo, The Heiress, eh?

Din Frog Lady is NOT gonna give you those five stars on Yelp for this ride

ALSKDJFLKSDK WE CAN’T GET THROUGH ONE EP WITHOUT SOMEONE REMINDING HIS SHIP IS A PIECE OF SHIT 90′S HONDA CIVIC

Awwwww yay Frog Lady’s found her husband!!!!

I’m gonna cry why the hell are they so cute

Also my hat goes off to the effects/costuming department those costumes are amazing

DIN YOU MUST FEED YOUR CHILD MORE REGULARLY

Oh I guess Frog Man is gonna give Din the Yelp review instead xD

Damn so he actually does know where some other Mandos are

Ah and there’s Whatsherface the other pro fighter turned actress on this show, why the fuck can’t I remember her name

Oop Din saw her

I always forget what the squid faced aliens are 

“My friend” BRO THAT’S YOUR SON

Aw yay goop for the babby!!!!

I’m guessing Calamari’s contact is gonna be Fighter Lady lol

OH NO BABY’S SOUP IS TRYNA EAT HIM

BAHAHAHA AND DIN GIVES EXACTLY ZERO FUCKS

Hmm yeah so I recognize Squid Face’s voice

I think this is the first big boat on water scene we’ve actually had in Star Wars, the brief bit in TROS excluded

Ohhhhh they’re called Quarren

Aw Quarren’s tryna be friendly to Yodito (or he could actually be sketchy let’s be cautious)

BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS HE JUST FED THE BABY TO A FUCKING SEA MONSTER

AND NOW THEY’RE AFTER DIN BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING ARMOR JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHERE IS THE BABY I DO NOT SEE THE BABY Y’ALL WHERE IS MY FUCKING SON I DO NOT SEE THE BABY

HOLY SHIIIIIIIIT

HOLY SHIT NO WAY

NO WAY

SHIT

THAT’S BO KATAN

FUCKING BO KATAN

THAT’S HER

OH MY GOD

OKAY CHILL CHILL CHILL CHILL

NEVERMIND AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK BUT THAT HAS TO BE HER THAT’S HER ARMOR AND VOICE????????

THAT IS TEN THOUSAND PERCENT HER MASK

AND WHO ARE HER FRIENDS

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

YES Y’ALL GET THE FUCKING BABY BACK

DIN’S VOICE IS CRACKING POOR PAPA I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

“BROTHER” OK BO WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE EXPLAINING TO DO

Y’ALL I’M STILL REALLY FUCKING EXCITED SHE WAS LIKE THE ONE RETURNING CHARACTER I ACTUALLY WANTED

OK HOW IS MY SON HOW IS MY SON MY POOR BABY

OH MY GOD HE’S OKAY

THANK GOD 

THANK GOD

Bo how the fuck have you not aged

Oh whooooops yep I forgot Din’s an Orthodox Mando

“Child of the Watch” ohhhh????

RELGIOUS ZEALOTS OHHHH??????

I just fucking realized they STILL fucking gave Bo her boob armor I hate this with the passion of a thousand suns HELLO WHY?

Aaaaand Din doesn’t wanna listen ok

Oh boy this guy’s gonna be trouble

Oh no there’s a lot of them

THAT IS HIS SON Y’ALL SERIOUSLY

Ohhhh so we’re finally taking credit for when someone’s death is our fault, are we now Bo? (:

Gah sorry Katee but your wig ain’t that good

HOW DID THE OLD REBELLION FAIL

BITCH HOW DID YOU LOSE THE DARKSABER

“A new Mand’alor on the throne” uh sorry but I hope you don’t mean you Bo cuz uhhhhh

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND HOW DID DIN KNOW THE JEDI’S NAME I’M--???

OHHHHH “WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THE JEDI?”

Lol so are we gonna get an Obi Wan explanation, an Ahsoka explanation, an Ezra explanation, or is Bo gonna mention Luke?

Aaaaand she’s gonna lead him to Ahsoka fucking great

(lol I’m sorry y’all I’ve already talked about how I don’t want Ahsoka showing up in the show haha)

Oh so we’re really getting like really no explanation as to how the fuck Bo lost Mandalore again

Ok heist time?

They better explain some of why Bo’s doing what she’s doing now and yes I know it’s been like ten minutes but I’m still impatient

DIN NOOOOOOO YOUR SON WILL EAT THEIR CHILDREN 

But I’m still crying Din is so okay with babysitters now I’m--

Wait wait wait why are these guys still well dressed and supplied Imperials?  Lol I’m so lost

Ok damn fine Bo’s cool I’ll admit that she’s always been cool

Walk walk murder baby

And the Imps are tryna blast off again ok

Return of the music bombs!!!!!

Bro they’re gonna kill u

AKLSDJFLKSK THEY FUCKING SPACED THEM I LOVE IT

Ok I really wanna know why Bo’s a pirate

bitch shut up about ruling Mandalore I love you and all but you are SO FUCKING BAD AT IT

YOU’VE LOST THE WHOLE DAMN PLANET TWICE

YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE DARKSABER BACK

WHY IS AHSOKA HELPING YOU AGAIN HOLY SHIT

Ooop there’s Gideon, hello Giancarlo!!!!!!  I really love his villain theme

Oh damn they’re gonna just suicide-- yep they sure are

Aaaaand Din’s being a damn hero because of course he is

Boi you have a CHILD TO LOOK AFTER

Whoop a dead pill

At least Ahsoka’s calling herself a Jedi now

Dammit I REALLY didn’t want Ahsoka to show up

Dammit dammit dammit

Gah nvm

OMG BABY IS BONDING WITH THE FROG FAMILY AND THEIR TADPOLES NOW

MY HEARRRRRRRT

DIN’S BEING A DAD PICKING HIM UP FROM HIS PLAYDATE I CAAAAAAAN’T ;_;

Din with all due respect your ship is kind of a piece of shit don’t question what the guy was able to fix

Baby Yoda I would die for you

Oh whoop there’s the octopus again

Don’t you try to eat the baby you bitch

BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH

HELL YEAH PROTECTIVE PAPA

NO YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE TAKING HIM DIN THAT’S YOUR SON, AHSOKA AIN’T GONNA KEEP HIM LMAO

Oooooh another Bryce Dallas Howard ep, I like her episodes!

Welp Bo Katan is here now and soon Ahsoka will be too

I’ve already said my piece on what I think of R*sario D*wson and I’ll leave it at that

I think Katee Sackhoff did a lovely job with Bo Katan live action too, tho I’ll say again that her wig kinda sucked lol

Welp they explained absolutely nothing as to why or how Bo Katan lost the Darksaber and Mandalore for a SECOND time, I still think it’s kinda funny she thinks she gets to go for round three 

Anyway, can’t wait for next ep, still holding out bitter hope that Sabine will show up too

Ah wait wait wait Bo Katan was supposed to be the fucking Heiress, wasn’t she

#liveblogging the mando show #sw the mando show #mando man of mystery #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian season 2 spoilers #star wars #star wars spoilers #sw #sw spoilers

[oojei]

Black Lightning is the BEST WRITTEN Arrowverse show

They don't follow the whole monster/villain of the week thing and they come in chapters

Story is fleshed out, everyone has their own journey, their own stuff to deal with

And yeah that's sometimes (very) stressful, but that's what makes it a good story

The politics and social issues are honestly hurtful to watch because you can see it in real life

Esp the quarantine parts and the occupation? I almost quit because of that

Music is also good like srsly awesome song choices esp during fight scenes and stuff

Oh god the fight scenes too

That thundergrace apartment fight was def foreplay i need more

I love their costumes tbh, i keep imagining Cisco's delight when he meets Gambi

Not just the superhero costumes, okay? Even the civilian ones, esp the villains

Those rich fashion, very nice choices

Also obviously Anissa and Jen's wardrobe too

But the title cards are the best part just look at them

Let me talk about the characters now

Jeff Pierce is such a DAD and i remember that dad talk he had with Barry

I wish i seen more of him as a teacher/principal?

Black Lightning's a bit meh, for me. I think it is the generation gap and the fact that I like Lightning better

The visual effects they use on him, esp that one where he had lightning hoops? Very amazing

Next is Thunder, because I could write a whole essay on Dr. Lynn Stewart so I'll talk about her later

Right, anissa. Tbh i don't feel her that much? Maybe because she's been strong almost all season

She was like this pillar that was confident in herself, in her powers, in what she wanna do and who she wanna be with

Which is VERY AWESOME esp for a woman of color

But idk i just want my characters breaking down and stuff

Like Jen, like Lightning

Tbh I hate her superhero name because it's so similar to her dad

But anyway, i like Jen's journey the most

And. She. Is. The. Most. Powerful.

Period.

I want her to transform to pure energy again just so she can meet gideon and idk ask for make up tips

Her safe space thing actually reminded me of gideon's matrix so

Anyway, her and Khalil are just ugh

Let them be happy together !!!

Also, she and Brandon are just bros oki?

I do like the combination of their powers tho

Which makes me wanna have Jen meet a water-based meta

Maybe Kuasa?

Anyway, Gambi time

Fave old man, i would believe him to be batman

Kinda waiting for a batwoman crossover tbh

But yeah, Gambi is such a badass old man, and I want his sanctum

Special shoutout to TC, let him meet Cisco and Brainy

Oh god TC and Brainy

Obviously TC and Gideon too

Right, do I get everybody on team Black Lightning?

GRACE! I love you I did not forget about you you are amazing with all your scars and trauma and spots and comic book fascination

Please give her a suit

And wake her up from the coma

Remove the order from Gravedigger too, oki? Even though that ASA fightscene was real nice

That's everybody right?

I shall be talking about Villains now

Khalil is first because he uses the line bet villain and hero as a jumping rope

At first i thought he's like Sara Lance but then I realized a lot of people in this show does not stay dead for long

He is such a thirst trap during s3 and i am not complaining

But also my arms wanna try that whole one arm pull ups to the side thing?

Maybe after i actually manage to do a pull up

Petition for him to Salmon Ladder pls

Also that sequence where he's listing the martial arts he knows? VERY COOL

There's one I did not know, that Silat thing?

Anyway, props to Jordan Calloway, he's good as a villain and a nice guy and even the damaged sad boi

At the end of s3 i imagine the Waverider picking him up when he rounded that corner lol

Let him be happy oki?

Next villain, Tobias Whale

That man had such a good evil laugh okay? Very very good. I hate him

And he's such a fancy rich cockroach

Still haven't forgiven him for killing Todd

TC and Todd would've been friends

Or even more (let us not discount that possibility)

Anyway, Lala and Lady Eve, idk they just complicate stuff

But Odell, I WANNA KILL HIM

God he's sooooo ugh

I have so much hate for him and he's still alive so he could very much well be back and ugh

Moving on, Gravedigger is such a well-written villain

He believes he's right, has that special tick that he buries all of victims and his power was awesome too

I want that tbh

Can I talk about Lynn now? Great

I love her, I want her to be my mom but also she is very hot

Christine Adams is a very very VERY GOOD actress, tbh

Her shotgun scenes, caring doctor and then the addiction storyline just *chef's kiss*

Honestly she is awesome and I love her

Imagine the power if she, Lena Luthor and Caitlin Snow worked on some bioengineer medicine

Just ugh, the pretty on the screen

Oh wait, Dr. Jace (RIP) I hated her at first and then when she got to markovia and did that whole how to make friends thing? She's hilarious

Still evil, but I like her

Super smart but dumb about people, that part when she's actually listing down the recipe for Lynn's peant butter cookie

I think I got everybody right? Right.

Let's move on to things I didn't like

Obviously the fact that Anissa and Grace didn't get a wedding like dude that is so unfair

And now Grace is in a coma

In season 3, where is perenna?

Also why did Henderson have to die

Somebody revive him pls

I think I got everything already and I am SLEEPY AF sooo

GO WATCH BLACK LIGHTNING!

#black lightning #couchpotatoojei

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 5: Last but not Least, let's (finally) meet Group C! (Commentary and Guesses)

Hey fellow Masked Singer fans! Welcome or welcome back to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana, recap every episode of the Masked Singer. I am so happy to be back after a short break after the World Series (thank God for the Dodgers). If you don’t know how these recaps go, first of all hi, feel free to follow me if you want to see more of these. Anyways, so how these work is that I first talk about who gets eliminated, give my thoughts, and then give my guesses and commentary for the remaining contestants and their performances. I also try to back up my guesses as much as I can by using the clues... even though I guide myself with the voice of the individual contestant. Anyways, having said that, let’s jump into it:

Warning ⚠️: If you haven’t watched the show yet, there are spoilers below, so read at your own risk.. this is your official spoiler alert warning. Don’t say I didn’t warn you...

With this episode, we met our last group of contestants, Group C, which consists of 5 masked characters, Squiggly Monster, Mushroom, Jellyfish, Lips, and Broccoli. Overall, to me, they are the weakest group vocal wise, but they were still fun to watch.

Alright, so let’s talk about the eliminated contestant, who was...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Lips 💋

Performance: Alright, so she sang “Native New Yorker,” by Odessy.... and I really try to be as kind and constructive as I can with these recaps especially when critiquing their performances because being rude really doesn’t solve anything and I want you guys to understand why I don’t like a performance if I dislike a performance (so we can start an open dialogue you get me?) ... but I am so sorry, this lady can’t sing like at all. Oh and I knew exactly who she was (haha insert Ken’s voice into that phrase lol) the moment she opened her mouth. The thing is she is talking and she messed up in the middle by laughing/snorting in the performance, it was kind of hilarious not gonna lie... it made me laugh, which I guess is a good thing, but like yeah it’s kind of obvious why she left first, because she (I mean no offense to this.. well maybe I do because I am not a fan of the person under this mask like at all since she ain’t kind and civil like at all) blew it, like it kinda felt like she messed up on purpose or that she is actually horrible at singing, which is ok because she isn’t supposed to be a professional singer and that’s fine. All that to say Lips made me laugh and I appreciate it but I am kind of glad she was the first one to go....

Anyways, she was revealed to be (to no surprise of my own) controversial talk show host...

Wendy Williams

Whoop whoop, I got it right (as did like everyone who knows who she is because her voice is that distinct... oh and also she spoke during the song so it was kind of obvious, but I am still claiming my victory: Gotten 3/5 correct so far and I am proud of that number)! Anyways here are the clues that pointed to her:

Shock= she says very shocking things on her show and is a pretty polarizing figure, you either love her or hate her (I am not fond of her myself but whatever I guess)

“Speak my truth”= she’s known for stating her mind and is unfiltered with her thoughts on things

West Wing= her initials WW

Fire= Hot Takes is a segment on her show and also a reference to her book Wendy’s Got The Heat

Alright, now that we have finished with her, let’s talk about our remaining 4 masked contestants:

1. Squiggly Monster 👾

Performance: I really liked his performance of Have You Ever Seen the Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival. He did super well, like I really liked it, I had low expectations because of the costume (it’s kind of creepy looking ngl) but I was pleasantly surprised. Having said that, the moment I heard him, because of his tone, I knew exactly who it was (again insert Ken’s voice here)...

So, for my guess, I think it is Full House actor/comedian:

Bob Saget

Ok, so besides the voice, lemme give you why I think that clues wise (credit goes to this Screen Rant article for the details idk on my own):

Penguin visual in the package= he directed a parody nature documentary called Farce of the Penguins

Father and a scoundrel= father part due to him actually being a father to 3 girls/his role on Full House as Danny Tanner (a single father of 3 daughters which I think is wow funny) and the scoundrel part referring to his raunchy/dirty comedy

Cookie clues= nod to Michelle from Full House and her love of cookies

“Breaking News” and him on a news show kind of thing= reference to his Full House character Danny Tanner being an anchor for Good Morning San Francisco

He also was on the show as a shrimp cocktail as the friend for the Taco aka Tom Bergeron! So it makes sense for him to come back this season which I am all into

2. Mushroom 🍄

Performance: Ok, so this is like the most confusing, is it a he or is it a she? That’s the biggest question, my money’s on a boy... so my guess is going to be male (I am gonna call Mushroom a he because of that so I apologize if I am misgendering them, I just need to narrow it down somehow and I am gendering them based on who I think it is, and I feel like he is the correct pronoun). Anyways, I love him, he’s my favorite Group C contestant, and his performance of This Woman’s Work was amazing, people said it was not good, but I really enjoyed it because I am a sucker for a good falsetto and this guy was almost all falsetto, I was feeling it. Having said that, maybe I like him so much because I feel like it is someone I adore, like if I meet him, I will faint status...

Having said that, I think it is Broadway star, heartthrob, actor, singer, adorable human...

Jordan Fisher

Omg he is so cute... sorry I am gonna stop being 😍 for him I promise. Anyways, big clue was a video of him singing this exact song (I think it sounds so similar, but you guys can judge for yourselves), here it is: https://youtu.be/3lzRsMl8M8Q

Apart from that, here are some actual clues (with a bit of help from this Screen Rant article) that got my mind thinking it is him:

WAITTT 🤔... before we get into that, what I found interesting is that he tweeted and I quote “Seasonal tweet to let everyone know that ____ on the masked singer is once again not me 💜” and THE MASKED SINGER RETWEETED IT... but also I just checked and this is the first time he’s ever had to clear that up... soooo maybe he’s a liar (bc of an NDA ofc you cannot really spill the beans.... but let’s go with he’s a liar)... a cute liar... but he’s lying.

Ok, now onto the clues:

A lot of Hamilton clues= “a healer and a scholar,” “young, scrappy, and fun-gy,” “shroom where it happens” = he replaced Anthony Ramos as John Laurens/Philip Hamilton in the Broadway musical Hamilton (and also can reference his Broadway roots in general like being on Dear Evan Hansen)

Started at a “rat race” and Men in Black were mice= could be a reference to his start on Disney (Liv and Maddie and Teen Beach Movie)

A shot to turn a hobby into a career= reference to him streaming video games on Twitch

Stars clue with audience= he won Dancing with the Stars back in 2017 and also hosted DWTS Junior

3. Jellyfish 💚

Performance: I really liked her performance of Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie even though I felt like she was holding back a bit (I can kind of say the same about Mushroom... but I still enjoyed it). I am really curious to see what she can really do, because I felt her nerves in the performance and like she can do more. This one’s killing me because I feel like I have heard that voice but I can’t put my finger on who it could be

So, with that said, I have no idea who to guess:

But I do know that it isn’t ✨Billie Elish✨

No, but like seriously, that ain’t Billie Elish even tho a lot of people are guessing it, I am not buying it... you’ll see why in a second, here are the clues:

The Little(ish) Jellyfish title on a book

Reigned supreme in an underwater kingdom

Fans, Tiara (“princess”)

Angel Fish

Flower Crown

Missed out on normal girl stuff like parties and making friends

Billie Elish “Bad Guy” lyrics in the background= that’s way too obvious for it to be Billie Elish

4. Broccoli 🥦

Performance: His performance of House is Rockin’/Whole Lotta Shakin Going On by Stevie Ray Vaughan/Jerry Lee Lewis was not what I expected to be honest. I thought it was going to be someone younger or a rapper, but it was an older gentlemen, and he was rockin, not gonna lie. I really liked it, not my favorite though I don’t think he is bad by any means. Anyways, I feel like I know who it is... maybe I am getting this from another person on YT’s guess who I really liked (Shoutout to them idk their user sorry)

So, for my guess for the Broccoli, I think it is legendary singer...

Paul Anka

The reason why is because of the following clues:

Can of Soup= he won a Campell’s Soup competition and that jump started his career

Tik Tok reference= his song Put Your Head on My Shoulder went viral on Tik Tok

Also, the letterman jacket is very 60s which is his era I guess (my mom knows more ab it than I do)

Anyways, that’s it, guys! I hope you enjoyed this recap, I apologize for how long they are, it’s kind of my thing lol! Don’t forget to comment your guesses (do you agree with me? Disagree? I wanna know below... especially Jellyfish guesses bc I have no idea who she can be), like, and follow for more Masked Singer content. I’ll see you all next week for the Group C Playoffs! Bye guys! 👋🏼

#the masked singer season 4 #the masked singer #themaskedsinger #celebrities #hollywood #movies #music #tv series #tv shows #wendy williams #lipsmask #bob saget #jordan fisher #paul anka #performance

[witchofmorena]

Right... so I got the idea from this post, and this is set after the quest in witcher 3 where roach can talk (I watched it, played it too long ago and don’t remember) and it’s all Roach’s POV (also it wont be same Roach in each piece). Hope y’all enjoy this <3

I was grazing in a meadow when I was attacked by some ugly monster. Naturally I started making noise and trying to leave, but couldn’t - my dumb human-not-human left me tethered to a tree. “Go away ugly! NO! DoN’t tOucH mY bEaUtiFul ManE! Bad monster! Kill it, human-not-human! Yes, that is right... go left...go left not RIGHT...uhg when will you do what I advice you?” My dummy of companion decided to get hurt, but luckily he let me walk freely, so I brought the bag with weird water that’s not really water and pushed it into his arms. I got hug, yey! I LOVE hugs! My  human-not-human’s human came and cleaned blood and wound, and than gave me an apple. Mhm nice crunchy apple, I like human. He sings to me, braids my hair... Well he probably thinks I’m a goddess of horses...

My human-not-human is sad. I thought it is cause his human and my worshiper isn’t around... we are supposed to meet him in the next place with many humans (town? city? village? farm? I hope it’s a farm with other horses - I could brag tell them about my worshiper - I should start calling him my human...). Still I hope I get a good brushing, a lady like me shouldn’t look like this - muddy, my beautiful mane tangl....”Watch out!” ugh something ugly’s attacking us again. Something was coming from behind, it gives me a bad feeling so I kick it - I must’ve gotten ‘em good, they are in dirt and in pain. I see my human - oh NO, some idiots are holding him. Ugh “you know what? I’ll just trample all over you, especially if you hurt my human!” They start running away, HA I knew I’m scary. I go up to my human and greet him. “Do you have apples? Or or or maybe....carrots? I wanna carrot” I kept asking for carrot and he gave me one. Good human giving me such nice carrots. I look around for my human-not-human and see him right behind me. I push human to my human-not-human so he can catch him...”Go on, you have him in your arms now do that thing with your mouth that you enjoy!” “Human, no don’t....ugh I know you love him so hug him at least” dumb humans don’t even mate in any way after a mating dance -.-” at least I’ll get bathed later...

“Roach...How do I tell Geralt I love him?“ the Boss’ human asks me... “How do i tell him that his hair looks so beautiful in moonlight? That it looks like liquid silver mixed with prettiest diamonds? How do I tell him that his eyes remind me of the pretty yellow opal?“ human rambles about Boss while braiding my mane with some pretty coloured flowers. “Why don’t you tell him all that?“ I had to ask even tho I know the human doesn’t understand me, neither does Boss for that matter. “The last time I tried to flirt with him...do you know what i said? I said *you don’t want to keep man with bread in his pants waiting* Who in their right mind says that?“ I’ve to admit that is pretty funny, enough to make me snicker, such a silly human. However this got me wondering...are all humans and human-like beings this dumb and unable to see someone wants to be their mate? Or do they do the mating dance longer? If so - how do they have foals at all? I mean they are dancing for at least 18 summers now (Boss said that), which is longer then I’ve been with boss...

Oh look Boss is back from hunt. I didn’t go with him this time, apparently he was hunting a griffin. I don’t like those - one tried to eat me but Boss saved me. That was the day Boss...adopted me? That’s what his human calls it, I don’t know what he’s talking about - it’s obvious that Boss belongs to me. Anyways, Boss’ human is waiting for us in village, so I have to make Boss wash before going back - his smell makes my nose itch. I saw a pond nearby so I drag Boss to it and push him in. He looks so angry...”I’m not moving until you wash, Boss”... Boss makes that noise often when I don’t want to move...”You wont let me go back smelling like this?” I shake my head - there is no way I’m letting him embarrass himself even more in front of his mate,”Fine, I’ll bath” see is already learning to understand what I want. “So, Boss....Does this mean you’ll finally... court?.... your human?” he remains silent as he’s....bathing...and here I thought we’re making progress in communication.  Finally we are in village, and Boss’ human is coming closer... Now I should help Boss tell human how he feels. “C’mon, Boss, tell him” I encourage Boss while nudging him closer to his human,”He wont say no, go on...He loves you” “Good hunt and not very dirty I see“ human tries...It’s a pathetic attempt tho... “Roach didn’t move until I bathed...“ ugh NO that is not.....*heavy sigh* idiot Boss...  “Good girl, Roach!“human praises me...what use are praises if there is no treats?”I think..ugh where did I put it?....AHA found it“ he offers me some sugar yay - good human “There you go girl, you deserve them.“ he turned back to Boss,”There is a bath in the room, prepared it for you...It’s still warm...Go, I’ll take care of Roach“ I’m not sure if I should be happy or not...they should bath together - Boss likes that...maybe if I behave human will go to Boss and let human who is with other horses brush me...”Thanks,Jaskier...“ Boss frowns...”Where is Pegasus?” I knew someone was missing “Some bandits stole her... Oh I hope they treat her right, Geralt, she was such sweet horse...” I give him a hug...he sounds so sad... Later that day, in village Of course human didn’t what I was hoping for, staying with me, brushing me and braiding my hair...*heavy sigh* that’s it I give up, you two figure this shit out...

Boss never lets me drink weird water...I wanna see what it tastes like....*rummages through Geralt’s bag*hmmm...Aha..This one makes Boss do strange stuff...at least it’s more ‘toxic’ variation that ’witchers use’....Now how do I open this? ”Hey, Squirrel” bet he’ll help me “What, horse?” “Could you help me? I need to open this and Boss isn’t around to help” squirrel’s confused “Sure?.....Here you go!” “Thanks, friend! I saw some nuts that way” I point squirrel towards nuts i mentioned - he IS looking for them after all...now to drink this...Whoa...this is strange....world has so many colours now...I gotta find Boss...Oh he’s already here....”Roach...Why did you drink modified White Gull? And how in Melitele’s name did you open the vial?” oh shit...fuck...how do I explain this....”Well you see Boss....I...was...curious....” his eyes are really wide and round...they were never like that before...Interesting...”Roach....you can talk?” ahhh that’s.....new...he can actually understand me....”Okay, first things first. Boss, you gotta tell your mate how yo..” “My WHAT? What are you talking about Roach?” great, he finally can understand me and he interrupts me immediately uhg stupid human-that’s-not-human “The who travels with us? Makes my mane pretty with those yellow tasty flowers? That human?” “Hmmm...You must be speaking of Jaskier, he’s the only one who does all of those” so he does know who is his mate “yeah him, anyways I don’t know how long I’ll talk so listen carefully...” Boss leans closer, good he’s listening “next time you see him, do the thing with mouth, and tell him you love him - he loves you DON”T INTERRUPT ME and I know cause he talks to me, much like you...so tell him and mate with him already” there was also something else...hmmm...oh yes i remember “and bath you stink....also don’t flirt with him - you both make me cry when you do that” “Roach, I don-” “Don’t interrupt me! By hte way monster’s coming, and dear me it’s so ugly and smelly” I watch as Boss fights and kills it...apparently it was some easy monster....but Boss is once again covered in monster guts ”Bath. Now.” “Fine...you’re worse then Jask...” “Who is worse then me? Oh I missed your fight, how dreadful” we turned to see Boss mate “Sup, Boss’ mate?” Boss glare is scary, but I’ve seen worse...like that griffin’s beak... oh no I missed part of conversation *pouts* “What is going on?” “Roach...we can’t understand you anymore....but you were right...thanks” I was right? Of course I was *huffs* I’m always right “Lets go, Roach! I saw some nice juicy grass for you nearby, girl! Don’t tell Geralt, but...I got you some apples and...here’s a sugar cube...as a thanks” I munch on the cube...this is one of reasons why I like Boss’ mate ”Without you...I wouldn’t know what to do...I love Geralt...have for years...” he hugs me...how nice...he lets go and I do my victory dance...why? well...Roach:1, Boss and mate:0

I might add some more later, but no promises... And I’m tagging @she-who-ate-pizza-with-cap since she mentioned she’d like to see this (hope you like it lovely, did my best here) <3

#roach #geraskier #roach judging geralt and jaskier #and their flirting technique #but mostly how blind they both are #roach is a very confused girl #bossy too #and geraskier shipper #eventually #she menages to speak #and convince geralt to admit to jask #how he feels #they get together #and roach gets many apples and carrots #from jask mostly #also #might add more parts later #hope y'all like this #my stuff

[ivanaskye]

WoT Reactions: Book 7, A Crown of Swords

Almost halfway through the series, and a lot is happening. Well, except for the parts where it takes forever for something to happen... while a bunch of other things happen. I think this is starting to hit the part of the series that many fans say is poorly-paced, and I can kind of see why...

That’s not why it took a while for me to finish this one tho, that’s mostly because I was visiting family for the holidays.

One of the main themes of this book is the many, many ways in which the Aes Sedai have horribly mismanaged basically everything due to being too strict (read: abusive) as well as too distrustful of each other. Which means that it turns out that there’s ALMOST TWO THOUSAND women trained by them who they’ve kicked out, which is literally more than the people they haven’t. Also some of them are older than they thought any Aes Sedai could get. Also the complete lack of sharing information between Ajahs or even sometimes between individuals within the same Ajah means no one knows anything EXCEPT the evil ones. Amazing.

Anyway, that’s all set to change now that the world is ending, so uh, that’s a plus? Lmao.

Character-by-character thoughts under the cut.

Rand

One of Rand’s most notable developments this book is having sex with Min, then completely losing his mind over it

It’s like. Min: rips off his clothing. Rand, for the next several days: I’m such a monster.

This is also why he flings Perrin against a wall

Bc obviously having SEX proves he’s a MONSTER

Thankfully this gets resolved in less than a week, but still

Also! He and Min VERBALLY confessed their feelings to each other! That’s the best progress this harem has seen yet!

God what else did Rand do this book. Oh right, teleport around a lot and get stabbed by Padan Fain and then let Sammael lure him into Shadar Logoth

Where Sammael “””dies”””

(I will not believe ANYONE in this series is dead until I have SEEN THE BODY)

Meanwhile he does a mercy killing of Leah, which hopefully has broken down his block against killing women, because there’s like, what, five female forsaken who are totally willing to kill him?

Perrin

Gets flung against a wall, leaves to do some other mission

Honestly I don’t have much to say about Perrin this book?

He and Faile still aren’t really communicating, for still-really-stupid reasons?

Sigh

Egwene

Still THE GODDAMN AMYRLIN SEAT

Finds out about Lan, sends him to Nynaeve

Not rly the most important character this book but I love her

Min

As mentioned above, has sex with Rand

Is also absolute MVP for actually communicating with him. And having something that resembles a brain.

Tells Cadsuane etc enough to prevent them from totally triggering his PTSD while trying to save his life

LITERALLY possesses half the braincells in this whole book

Also, total confirmation that Moiraine isn’t dead, Min thinking about how Moiraine being essential to Rand’s success is her ‘one viewing that hasn’t come true’

Birgitte

The other MVP, the only person on the planet capable of breaking down the communication barriers between Mat and Nynaeve + Elyane

This is because she is the only person on the planet who is from a time period (well, several time periods) with actual gender equality, including men and women not all automatically distrusting each other

Mat is shocked to discover he can think of a woman as a person

Nynaeve is shocked that Birgitte can think of a man as a person

A+, good work

Mat

Speaking of,

Maybe actually learns a thing or two regarding his sexism. Part of that is via a FRIENDSHIP WITH BIRGITTE, which I did not expect to become one of my favorite friendships in the series, but here we are

The other part is uh, the getting raped

And like, otherwise assaulted

A lot

By Tylin, queen of Ebou Dar

It’s a real bad time and I feel sorry for him

We leave the book with him being the last of our protagonists out of the city, not quite leaving before a war erupts there, I’m sure he’ll have a GREAT time next book,

Nynaeve

Despite Aviendha making her apologize to Mat, I don’t think she ACTUALLY admits she’s wrong any time in this book? So she’s still only done so once in the entire series lmao

A Mess TM!

Her block is broken now, thanks to a near-death experience WHICH WAS DUE TO MOGHEDIAN, meaning Moghedian is accidentally responsible for Nynaeve becoming more powerful, good job

Ok weirdly her relationship with Lan is actually... super cute in this book, where it WASN’T before, and I think the difference is the part where Lan longs for death even more than usual

You would think that wouldn’t suddenly make a ship cute

But you would be wrong

He’s HOLLOW and HALF DEAD INSIDE and somehow. It works? I don’t know man

Lan

See above

Elayne

More braincells than Nynaeve or Mat, which is to say, she has one (1)

Spends significantly too many pages flailing around looking for the Bowl, but hey, she+Nynaeve+Mat have finally found it, so at least THAT subplot comes to an end

Still needs to actually go be queen

Cadsuane

She’s no Moiraine, but I like her

Badass old lady who fears zero (0) things

Morgase

Still alive, BARELY

Has now been tortured, but OFF-page, which is a rarity in the Torture Porn Series

Also she had very, very coerced sex

Then the Seanchan show up in Amadicia and she’s introduced to something even more terrifying, the concept of slavery, and manages to escape with one of the suddenly-less-bad-seeming religious zealots

Moghedien, Galina

SPEAKING OF the concept of slavery,

Both of these are very evil people we don’t like, who this book now makes us feel sorry for by watching their torture and degradation

Which is very classic WoT

So that’s most of the characters I have specific thoughts on, but there’s something else I wanna say here at the end, which is predictions for the next book!

While I’m quite sure that Moiraine and Lanfear aren’t dead, I don’t think they’re coming back quite yet. For that matter, I’m not sure if Sammael’s probably-not-dead nature will be revealed yet

Instead, I think the main enemy next book is going to be the Seanchan, now that they’ve invaded two further countries

Maybe we’ll get to see Egeanin again???? Pls????

#wot reactions #wot #wheel of time

[soupncrackwrs]

Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*

This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil

This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on

Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt

wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT

I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more

So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship

BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED

Now onto the actual headcanon

So neil and kevin are like best friends

They've been like that for a while

but they also like fucking despise each other

like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it

but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?

HELL NO

so they go to college together

along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters

andrew and neil have been together for a bit

they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)

andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)

and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life

we all know this

but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew

so drew is brought up a fair amount

but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like

oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die

(obviously not phrased like that)

and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'

(little do they know hehhehhe-)

sO ONE DAY

kev is tryna forget all his issues

so he decides to get hella pissed

wasted like he's never been b4

probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh

so he goes to the next party alli throws and

let's say it together kids

gets wasted like he's never been b4

to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????

so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'

so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is

goes to pick up kevin

and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself

so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car

and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help

so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking

(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)

and he looks neil in the eyes and goes

'i love you neil'

and neil just like takes a second

pAuSeS

because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)

and then quietly says

'love you too kev'

and finishes buckling him up

all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way

(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)

and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is

matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is

PUMPED

he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff

and every one else agrees

which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them

so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')

they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s

once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone

another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan

(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)

and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time

which neil respond to with

'we already get coffee together?'

so dan matt and alli are stumped

they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots

they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry

so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week

neil is oVER THE MOON

HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY

And kevin is really happy too

so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out

so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )

a super short blond emo joins them

and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?

until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face

and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'

they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'

-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee

uNTIL

at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says

'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'

and the foxes just silently freak out

because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????

so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately

(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)

and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'

and neils like 'wdym?'

and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'

and neil just LAUGHS at them

straight up cackles

and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????

we saw your declaration of love at the party??

and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??

what gives????

and neils like

'me n kev are besties

that was a platonic declaration of love

also

i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'

and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'

it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)

neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'

neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'

drew tells him to shut up

(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)

renee knew all along and is happy for her friends

kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post

So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later



#Spotify #aftg fandom #aftg au #andreil #psu foxes #outsider pov #headcanon #fanfic #sorry for the long post #thanks for coming to my ted talk #im gonna stop now #aight peace

[garbagequeer]

what are your favorite cshr songs?

i change my mind a lot and can’t make decisions so im just gonna go album by album picking my favorites because there’s A LOT of great songs (also these are in no particular order cause i really am a gemini who can’t make a simple choice). when im done with this i’ll bold the ones i guess are my overall favorites but i have too much room in my heart and brain and i love all of them and i can’t not mention all the great songs that i love. Also my overall favorites change all the time hence the full long ass list. again i AM a gemini

teens of denial:

drunk drivers obviously (and drunk drives single version with the modified verse from plane crash blues like. if you cant find your friends you can leave without them !! so much)

destroyed by hippie powers (which holds a special place in my heart cause i remember listening to it 24/7 and going to the bar with my friends during second term finals my first year of college instead of studying and then the year after that going to see csh also during second term finals and them playing it like. full circle baby)

not what i needed. i feel so empty trying to explain this!

1937 state park

unforgiving girl (also holds a special place in my heart cause im pretty sure it’s the song that got me into them after being like hey i should check out that car seat headrest band since like 2013 but never getting around to it)

the ballad of the costa concordia like. i love to die thank you

drugs with friends (also it feels 5 times more special to me since i saw them play it)

fill in the blank

literally i feel bad for not just putting every song from this album like i love them all they punch me in the face every time but. gotta move along.

how to leave town:

BEAST MONSTER THING (LOVE ISN’T LOVE ENOUGH) LIKE. WHAT? WHAT?? !!!!

i want you to know that im awake / i hope that you’re asleep. you know that quote from like. an article about greta gerwig and lady bird that’s like (wait i googled it):Every situation is pretext for a confrontation: underdone eggs, a pile of rumpled clothes, a hand reaching too quickly for the radio. The question on the surface might be ‘What did you do?’ but the feeling underneath is ‘Who are you and why don’t you know how to love me?’that’s this song

is this dust really from the titanic? mainly cause i think it’s underrated and very endearing like. car seat headrest: more guitar shit

hey space cadet. obviously like

wasn’t going to put more songs cause i think i need to relax but. the ending of dramamine deserves to be listed i mean i can’t hear a thing now i guess i belong to me now but when night fell on montana i found a rest stop completely deserted but i still felt the eyes upon me so i drove away. it BE like that

you know what? fuck it. america and kimochi warui are also favorites. they’re all so good im sorry i CANT do this

nervous young man:

first of all: i wanna sweat. it’s like. you CAN have the euphoric emotion of bodys outside of the fantasy. effervescent amazing uplifting etc etc

burning man. i will go crazy istg like he’s like im defined by the fact that you’re there and we’re different people… i wanna burn your picture! i mean…… yeah

plane crash blues i mean shut up with all these bad vibes all this yelling just shut up shut up shut up! like. to himself.. we get it. and if your luggage is lost you can leave without it and if you run out of drugs you can sleep without them and if you wanna go home you can call a taxi and if you don’t wanna talk you can sit in the backseat. much to think about

death at the movies. sometimes you’re a little depressed and you just. watch movies and it’s weird

boxing day. hand will toledo a womanhood card right now for this like yeah! i feel so haunted and no one seems to notice and no one seems to care!!!! and it doesn’t really matter I’ll just ajlhfsdg!!!. ALSO literally i did something bad im not allowed to go outside anymore i can only be awake at night for the next year of my life. been there done that and all. ALSO i have worms in mouse traps baby cracks me up every time

the gun song. there’s a lot going on there

afterglow and jerks cause i love to have fun too

monomania:

misheard lyrics and i don’t think it gets enough love

times to die and also the teens of style version

overexposed (enjoy). again i love fun

los borrachos (fun fact: i saw the painting it’s named after irl and i was like. sick csh reference museo del prado)

SOULS. !!!!

maud gone both versions. sweetheart please love me too long

sleeping with strangers. i love to have fun

anchorite (love you very much). i get my feelings hurt by someone i love i listen to this song like. YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! call it catharsis

and that’s literally the whole album except for one song. im sorry

twin fantasy (which is two albums but. it’s really just one which is very meta of it/them imo. also unless i specify im talking about both versions):

B O D Y S

famous prophets. both versions make me feel breathless

beach life-in-death OBVIOUSLY

twin fantasy (those boys) and i think both versions really mean so so much together which is true of all of twin fantasy but. particularly here it hits me like. from he has only lyrics now to these are only lyrics now. it’s a lot

my boy (more the 2018 version)

nervous young inhumans (the 2011 version. for the monologue like. he defined twin fantasy. also the fact that galvanistic isn’t a real word he just fucked up and that’s the chorus)

high to death (more the 2018 version but both are great)

honestly sober to death for the don’t worry you and me wont be alone no more which is. so much. ALSO when they play sober to death/powderfinger and ethan does great vocals

cute thing (2018)

my back is killing me baby

no passion. he wants a man who would hate him and who would leave him if he were open and he’d do the same to him. he dreams he watches porn but he cant see it. he understands some ugly ass feelings

father, flesh in rags. it bangs

strangers but the teens of style version

happy news for sadness cause once again he says the ugliest shit (i liked you better when you hated yourself every time i think about love i think about me thinking about you) and it makes me think of that shit about how people will disclose they think they’re bad and they have bad thoughts when they’re going to ask to be loved. also you can never tell the truth but you can tell something that sounds like it

the drum. did i say i love to have fun? i love to have fun (both versions but i think i like the original more at least rn)

stoop kid

something soon (both versions)

starving while living:

it’s only sex

reuse the cells

devil moon

i hate living

literally all other csh shit cause i don’t listen to many songs from the first records :/ and stuff:

i can talk with my eyes shut

the ghost of bob saget. the lyrics to this song are hilarious and relatable somehow

i have to mention i am afraid of literally everything / i scream social / this one time I went to a coffee house because some guy I knew was playing and I just sat there for an hour and didn’t talk to anyone and then I came home and wrote this song / you have to go to college / it’s you you’re the asshole that made this but literally only cause i felt like laughing when i was 18 and finally got around to checking out csh and he was like. i wrote these songs about when i went to college and i was afraid of everything and shit was hard. cause like. same. and i just have a fond memory of going through csh’s entire discography from newest to oldest and ending up awake till almost 7am losing my mind. i feel like this about lots of songs from the first 5 albums but i don’t really listen to them much tho. someday i’ll get around to giving them a chance again

that thing someone made where they put together pain star (if heaven is full of people…) and …then it will be exactly the same as earth

does it feel good (to say goodbye?)

and their cover of hey ya even though it’s not a csh song. im mad no one has posted a proper recording of it because i do love to have fun. also their cover of this must be the place too. and the cover of waves of fear also. they’re all really fun

#answered #csh #car seat headrest #im terrible at picking things as you can see #anonymous

[tillman]

hi i ranked every single dark souls 1 character by who i think is the most kissable . its 79 characters all with a description of why theyre at the place theyre at with images for reference :-) its all under cut for u to enjoy.. thank u

this is all my opinion cus hehe im making the list but also im god so this is fact now . 

counting down because u know what ! buildup is fun and i have to start off with everyones most favorite:

GWYN - 79

im kidding. fuck gwyn and everything he stands for. he wouldnt even be a good kisser he doesnt have FUCKING LIPS

SEATH - 78

oh you really wanna kiss the incel dragon who kidnaps ladies for his weird experiements?? yeah?? who are you, big hat logan?

EINGYI - 77

heres one i wont get hate for: this fucking asshole . die bastard . he cant even kiss his face is all infected and gross!

KAATHE - 76

he sucks.

SMOUGH - 75

not only is he too big to kiss! hes a cannibal!! hed eat you!!!! thats no kiss i want!

MANUS - 74

listen i know yall love daddies and all that but hes manipulative and not a nice person so id watch out. i GUESS hes kissable as he was a human before but def not a good kiss

BED OF CHAOS - 73

its just some vines that sometimes set on fire!! If it were still the witch of izalith she would be probally in the 20s as shes a good person who tried very hard to help the world but in this state... u cant even kiss her!

FRAMPT - 72

better than kaathe but the whole no lips and being a manipulative snake monster really throws me off and shoves him down at the bottom

FINA (GODDESS OF LOVE/BEAUTY (?)) - 71

(mentioned character - no image sorry :-( )

Listen as much as im all for love, this is love u dont want ! just trust me dont be lautrec dont do it you dont want to kiss fina listen to me. please dont kiss fina.

VINCE AND NICO - 70

way of the white members are NOTABLY unkissable but these guys. are just so boring. theyll be your white bread boyfriend as neil would say... bad kissers and bad people!

LAUTREC - 69 

aw fuck wait can i make another character 69 he doesnt deserve it. anyways not only is he not over his ex (fina) hed probally gut you and steal your lunch money half way through the kiss anyways so whats the point . thats not how u treat a lover idiot

CENTIPEDE DEMON - 68

it eats your face and you die. next pleaaase

PETRUS - 67

another way of the white cleric. he at least starts off nice and he says fuck rich people but also he let that happen to rhea and i fucking hate his guts so no.

PALADIN LEEROY - 66 

out of all the way of the white idiots hes the best in that he wears armor and seems cool but its the way of the white man.  i cant get past that. sorry leeroy at least your armor is cool. he probably hasnt kissed someone in hundreds of years anyways 

MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY - 65

delicate ... but beautiful! i dunno how to smooch it but i def would if i could ! i dont think it can kiss back but, o well! we all have flaws

IRON GOLEM - 64

it cant kiss back but its COOL and can throw me like a javelin so like . yeehaw id smooch its little face place 

UNDEAD MERCHANTS (BOTH) - 63

between moss and yulia i think they got enough on their plates! plus since theyre so hollowed, i dont think they have any lips to kiss back with! 

INGWARD - 62

hes not like . bad persay but also i dont trust him after he helped with new londo. cool design tho. i wanna kiss that bird beak mask

JEREMIAH - 61

was a bullfrog, and never took off his crown long enough to kiss another person...... i feel like if he did though! oh boy!!!

Asylum Demon + Demon Firesage + Stray Demon - 60

more kissable than some bosses, but still not the greatest lips. good butts though on all of them.... so i guess thats fr u kinky people 

SNUGGLY THE CROW - 59

(no image shes a crow) 

please stop drawing her as an anime girl shes literally just a grow that likes warm things oh my god you freaks be nice to her

BIG HAT LOGAN - 58

hes hard to kiss around the hat! and on that note hes pretty much taken with his obsession with seath. good luck! hes nice though so better than most of this list so far

GAPING DRAGON - 57

ranked so high because past its giant underbelly of teeth and destruction is this very tiny head which i think is so funny i cant help but want to kiss its little snoot.... hehe baby

PRINCE RICARD - 56

oh now were actually getting into kissable range! ricard is a prince (maybe even of astora... kissability increase.) so his high ranking might get you some kissability points, but the hollowing is gonna lower that. 4/10 no kissable lips!

4 KINGS - 55

whats better than a prince..... a king... whats better than a king..................  4 KINGS! just watch out for their overly anime spiky armor and the fact their in a never ending void nightmare but they do have faces so thats points above the rest!

SALAMAN - 54

(mentioned character only! sorry!)

hmmmm we dont learn much about him other than he was close with quelana and he was ............ hot!  hes a pyromancer.  being of the great swamp pushes him down a bit because he prolly smells like his name sake but u know what ! maybe hes cute! we cant be sure! hes in the running at least!

TAURUS DEMON - 53

hmm... bad lover.... good kisser................................................... the things i do for big beefy demon love.

GOUGH - 52

While you cant kiss gough cus all the sap in his helmet i cant bare to put him lower than he is hes just so sweet. a kiss on his helmet because i love him so much

NITO - 51

while he cant kiss back, nito deserves a kiss or two! plus he has a lot of hands so u can hold his hands and be hugged at the same time and u know what that might be just as good as a nice kiss. good on you nito!

STONE DRAGON - 50

again a non kisser........ damn beaks! the stone dragon does need a kiss though. they havent seen another living soul in years down in ash lake! so im giving them points on that alone.

VAMOS - 49

like the last two.... no lips! vamos though makes up for it in his charm and wit, and his exceptional skill in smithing! so even without lips to kiss, you still should kiss vamos! hes a good friend

ARIAMIS - 48

(mentioned !)

wow... a painter! and a skilled one at that! this man created the painted world used to keep priscilla safe and that is so noble it gives him points right off the bat! i feel like though, as an artist, he might be a bit weird about it. so watch out and be safe, but in the end, get free art and some free smooches out of him!

ELIZABETH - 47

thats my mom ... of course she gets a good cheek smooch for all her hard work keeping dusk safe!

DOMHNALL - 46

i love domhnall hes a good guy whos trying his best but also his mask is so fucking goofy i dunno if i can do it .

RICKERT - 45

as much as i think rickert would be a good kiss (hes smart, cute, and skilled!) he is trapped behind some bars willingly and probably wont let you in. i can dream though!

CEASLESS DISCHARGE - 44

if theres any boss that NEEDS a kiss its him. poor dude lost all his family and was turned into this laughing stock of a creature. youd probably burn your lips but .... please just be nice to him :-(

SHIVAS BODYGUARD - 43

ooo a strong yet silent type.... hes even cute under his mask! good kiss, but i feel like he might just care more about his actual job than a kiss ! hes dedicated !

CIARAN - 42

putting aside me knowing shed be a good kisser, i just understand she probably doesnt want a kiss right now, shes grieving over the loss of her friend and i respect her comfort. maybe a good pat on the shoulder and a cup of nice tea with her would be nice though! 

PINWHEEL - 41

may seem like a weird choice to put a necromancer up so high on the list but.... honestly pinwheel needs some love. dude lost his whole family and in trying to revive them accidentally fused them to himself. while he might not be the best kisser, i honestly just wanna tell him everythings gonna be ok.

KIRK - 40

ok if you know me you KNOW how much it pains me to put kirk so low but. hes a busy guy! not only is he doing so much work to help out where he can with the fair lady, but you might just get pricked by his spiky armor while youre going in for the smooch! so, as much as he deserves a kiss for all his hard work, maybe pass until another time!

SIEGLINDE - 39

were getting there! she is just so strong... and so brave........ she may not even be undead! sieglinde is so strong and wonderful doing all that just to deliver a message to her unruly father, she deserves so many kisses! Shes got a lot on her plate though so please respect her......

BERENIKE - 38

(just mentioned!)

implied to be a huge strong knight who made it to even sens fortress! yes please ! 

BELL GARGOYLES - 37

hmmmmm,.......... if u can get past the whole lighting your face on fire, these are two loyal gargoyles! that seems pretty good to me!

BEATRICE - 36

a wonderful helpful witch friend! she is so nice to help you defeat flying bosses with her magic!! i love her so much! shes even cute to boot! 

GIANT BLACKSMITH - 35

HE HELP ANYTIME................... I HAVE TO GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGALLY I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RHEA - 34

putting aside my hatred of the way of white.... rhea really is just a babey.... shes adorable and kind and just wants everyone to be ok so im won over. maybe a little forehead smooch for being such a good person!

OSCAR - 33

oh oscar. a noble, heroic, and cute knight but in the end. would he be a good kisser........ i feel yes, but maybe not so much so! hes busy focusing on being a hero you know! hes a good friend and i cant help but fall in love with nice guys

THE FAIR LADY - 32

she deserves the entire world and all i can give her is my humanity and a kiss........... sobs. i wish i could do more to ease her pain but she is so strong and wonderful! please give her a nice smooch! 

QUELANA - 31

i didnt wanna separate them ........ her wonderful sister! who even taught humans pyromancies! shes smart and nice, and honestly probably needs a kiss. 

MILDRED - 30

uh my notes from last night are just

so yeah! thats mildred!

CRESTFALLEN MERCHANT - 29

hes sad as fuck but also... kinda handsome! he was a knight of berenike and made it almost all of the way through sens fortress showing how skilled he is! a strong man like this (inspired by maybe the best kisser in demons souls, boirr) has to be a good kiss!

SIEGMEYER - 28

hes going through a lot right now but... how could u not think siegmeyer is kissable. thats on you man. thats your own character flaw.

OSWALD - 27

ok this might be slightly controversial but i feel like oswald would be a good kisser. if you got past his slightly weird love for velka who well get to (thats just carimites (carimians? carimfolk???)) hes nice and kind and maybe the funkiest character in dark souls

KALAMEET - 26

another cant kiss you but.... kalameet is just so cool ! very shadow the hedgehog and u know what that is NOT a bad thing. you might have a rough time trying to get there, but..... aww whos a good dragon.....

DARKMOON KNIGHTESS - 25

alright the final stretch! the darkmoon knightess is the anor londo firekeeper, and a friend of gwyndolin! shes supposed to be “ugly and shit” (real quote. i would never lie to you) but her model is so cute! defiantly kissable as fuck!

 SANCTUARY GUARDIAN - 24

GOFH ITS JUST A WIDDLE KITTEY CAT........... I GIVE IT A WIDDLE KISSEY ON ITS FOREHEAD AHOWHWWAWWW BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALVINA - 23

AWHAHWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES H(FADOESAGVFOSDHFSO CUET EIFEDKC LKOFIE JS I LOVE YOU FJEADFIDASHCODEUFCUSFKSDHFKSUHFC

DUSK - 22

oh yes!! the princess of a lost land...... will you be her knight in shining armor.......... oh i just love her so much. shes sweet and nice and cute and deserves a kiss or two!! please be nice to my daughter!

SHIVA - 21

hottie with cool armor and a cooler sword. since they cut his whole sidequest i can with all certianty say YES he is super kissable and is probably a great kisser 

QUELAAG - 20

IGNORIGN HER GIANT SPIDER LOWERBODY........... SHES JUST DOING THIS FOR HER SISTER SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP HER POOR SISTER WHOS IN PAIN HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER SO MUCH!! PLEASE KISS QUELAAG! 

GRIGGS - 19

im putting griggs so high cus hes kissable in a factor unseen before...... baby factor. hes soft and nice and is just trying to find his dad! just tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight! its what he deserves! 

ARTORIAS - 18

everyone already KNOWS why artorias is a good kisser. hes nice, strong, brave, and most importantly. cool as FUCKING HELL ! HE DOES SICK ANIME FLIPS!! if you can look past the abyss slowly taking him over, youll find a good good boy who deserves a good kiss.

ANASTACIA - 17

the good firekeeper who we spend most of our time with in 1! YES of COURSE Shes kissable. she deserves SO MANY kisses for all of her hard work in keeping the firekeep shrine lit! good job anastacia im sorry lautrec is like that

VELKA GODDESS OF SIN - 16

(just mentioned!)

if her title alone doesnt bring you in, youll be pleased to know shes implied to help watch over priscilla (who well get to hold your horses) and keep the poor girl safe! a strong sense of justice and a love of crows, shes probably an amazing kiss if you can find her! 

ANDRE - 15

were closing in on #1 and i just have to throw andre in here. hes so nice and strong! just . please kiss andre! he deserves some he does so much work! 

PRISCILLA - 14

poor priscilla. called a monstrous crossbreed and has to hide in a painted world to stay safe from those who would hurt her. including the internet! leave her alone you freaks shes not your fetish fuel!!! she deserves a good kiss on the cheek and a hug for all she has to put up with

 CRESTFALLEN WARRIOR - 13

its my list i get to put the crestfallen warrior where i want. and u know what? he would honestly be a good kiss. hes kind and helpful and never once wishes you harm, he just needs to be held tightly and kissed passionately and u know what. dont we all. 

GWYNEVERE - 12

she is beautiful but .... 1 shes married and 2 shes not even real! whatever. her husband the flame god flann is at least.......... hot! haahgdaefshdfcdhswfe im so fucking funny

BLACK IRON TARKUS - 11

listen i see a big beefy dude i go “hey thats hot please kiss me” so of course tarkus is this high up hes the beefiest dude around.... right?? anyways all knights of berenike are kissable hes just the MOST kissable of the 3 named ones!

ORNSTEIN - 10

this dude kisses the son of gwyn you KNOW hes a good kiss. the golden lion armor just helps so much. we love you ornstein .....

HAVEL THE ROCK - 9

HERE HE IS ... THE BEEFIEST GUY AROUND ... this bitch uses a DRAGONS TOOTH as a huge club to bash people with if that isnt big dick energy i dont know what is. armor made of stone. heart made of gold. havel the rock please god kiss me passionately under the moonlight .

SIF - 8

oghfoghfohg puppey..................................... SMOOCHIE THE PUPPY>...........

NAMELESS KING (!?) - 7

(hes just mentioned in ds1!!) 

I KNOW HES A DS3 BOSS BUT LISTEN TO ME THEY TALK ABOUT HIM SO MUCH IM ALLOWING THIS.  he defected from his awful dads team to go help the DRAGONS!! thats so cool hes so kissable. would be more kissable if he wasnt kissing ornstein but thats ok . i respect them both.

MARVELOUS CHESTER - 6

this MAY just because i have a huge crush on him but also here are some good kissable things about him: his fasion, his voice that sounds like a purr, his laugh, his malice, his funny mask, him. thank you for your time.

GWYNDOLIN - 5

FINAL FIVE! heres gwyndolin. the most kissable of all of gwyns children for the sheer fact of how much work they put in to making sure people stay safe and happy. they are so kind and wonderful they deserve SO MANY kisses! good on you gwyndolin....

LAURENTIUS - 4

now heres a fun one! laurentius is one of the nicest guys u will EVER meet in any souls game. he genuinely cares about you, he loves and respects u even if u dont respect him or his skills, hes nice cute and above all: i love him . please kiss laurentius he is a nice guy who just wants the best for u..... dont be mean to him.....................

CAPRA DEMON - 3

the highest one that cant kiss back and thats for the capra demons SHEER HORNY ENERGIES. this is a demon you can fuck! thats it i have nothing else to say i just think the capra demon is funny

SOLAIRE - 2

do i seriously have to explain why solaire is so high up. not only is he nice and cares about you, hes handsome, passionate, and just a good fucking person. he is hands down one of the most kissable characters in any souls game ever! fuck yeah! go off you funky little lover boy! 

and finally.

its patches.

#i made this entire list for a joke and u know what the 4 hours i spent on it for the build up was so fucking worth it i dont care #dark souls #soulsborne