#I really do have so much left unsaid about the light and darkness stuff but that gets into m a j o r plot stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aberooski · 6 months

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My friend is trying to get me to watch GX, and they really like stormshipping. I’m just barely starting the series, but I want to understand the appeal of these two. So… take this as a chance to ramble about why you love them, I guess?

OOOOOH!!! 👀👀👀👀

Okay first of all, yes! Totally watch it! It's so silly and fun but also filled with The Horrors. It's flawed and all as most things are, but it's my favorite!

BUT STORMSHIPPING TIIIIIME!!! Let's see if I can do this with as few spoilers as possible aksksk

Those two are everything to me 😭 my roman empire, if you will.

Stormshipping is your classic introvert/extrovert, golden retriever/black cat, emo kid/theater kid, summer/winter, sun/moon type of pairing, for one, which is delightful. They compliment each other so well, and with just how MUCH subtext and stuff, and literally so much to analyze about them like that that we get considering how little the amount of screen time they have together is, there's no heterosexual explanation for like 90% of their interactions. And there's the complimentary parallels and associations and things like that. For example, Light and Darkness, they do have that parallel in what they're corrupted by against their wills. (Also the fact that Chazz has Light and Darkness Dragon as his ace card in the manga and he and Atticus totally represent it in the anime but shhhhhhhhhhhhh 🤫) also can't really delve as deep into that without talking about some major plot shit so

And it kinda as always, comes down to what those two are to each other.

As a blanket sentiment, they're best friends. But Atticus is the only person Chazz is shown to be genuinely comfortable around and willingly vulnerable and open with. Chazz comes to him when he has problems, he confides in him, he seeks him out when he needs to be vulnerable for a moment. I think he also gravitates towards Atticus at first, obviously because he wants his help to try and get a date with Alexis seeing as he's her brother and all, but I think also because his own brothers were so awful and abusive and didn't truly care about him. Most people don't, actually. But Atticus takes a genuine vested interest in him and legitimately cares about him and that's not something Chazz is used to. Not to say the squad doesn't care about him, they do, but not in the same way Atticus does. I think he starts out as a sort of surrogate big brother figure for him in the way Jaden is for Syrus for kinda similar reasons seeing that Zane was an abusive and really bad brother to Syrus for many years as well. But this isn't about them 😜

Atticus is also a mentor figure for him, that goes into the Japanese version, where Chazz actually calls him "master" and I mean 🤨 there are other words you could use buddy but okay you do you 😏

Atticus takes care of Chazz. He looks after him and is a kind hand and a shoulder and a steady rock when he needs it. By the end Chazz is the person other than Alexis that Atticus is closest to and is the most important to him. But also Chazz's friendship is very healing for Atticus. Their friendship is significant and is healing for both of them.

They both have a lot of trauma and baggage to varying degrees, and like I said Chazz isn't used to having someone genuinely care about him because of his abusive brothers and having to put on a facade and hide his authentic self as a means of being able to meet their impossible expectations of him and being able to handle the pressure any way he can. Atticus is probably the only person who's ever truly seen the real, genuine, vulnerable Chazz. He's basically the only one who makes him genuinely smile too honestly and that hits. Atticus is the first person he genuinely accepts as his friend and accepts love and care from too. He's comfortable with him, he feels safe with him. He feels cared for and loved with him.

And for Atticus, Chazz is the closest friend he's had in a long time. He was good friends with Zane before his disappearance the year prior, but because he missed so much he doesn't graduate with Zane so he's not around and with what happens with Zane after graduation, yeah they're not nearly as close or as good of friends as they used to be. And when Atticus returns, well he suffers a lot. He's so physically and mentally affected by what happened to him that I personally believe his entire personality and his quirks and eccentricities, as genuine and authentic as they are, have become a coping mechanism. And Atticus takes care of anyone and everyone but himself. So when he realizes how Chazz has all this trauma and baggage like he does, albeit to an entirely different degree and of different circumstances, he takes him under his wing and devotes himself to looking after him and kinda coaching him through life in a way. He helps him try to get a date with Alexis when he asks him for help, but personally I think Atticus set him up to fail there but in a loving way. Alexis doesn't like him like that and I also think Chazz is honestly confused about the nature of his feelings about her. I think Atticus sets him up for failure in that situation and I think he does it to so she can reject him, which she does very kindly I might add, and he can move on and learn and grow as a person and develop more emotional intelligence from it because of how stifled he is in that way because of his brothers.

Also going back to how Chazz's friendship is significant and important for Atticus, another reason for that is because Chazz is the only person other than Alexis he's that close to now. He has a friend to confide in and share his own feelings and innermost thoughts with that isn't his now fiercely protective little sister. There are things he can't talk to her about and things he can't go to her for and confide in her with because she'll worry and he can't do that to her. He can't make her worry about him again. And Chazz is so easy for him to talk to. Atticus is a social butterfly and and extrovert unlike Chazz, he has no problems with talking to people and being open about things, but we only ever see him actually do that with Chazz. They have private moments and they confide in each other and they look out for one another. Atticus is also protective of Chazz in his own little ways too as he is with Alexis.

Atticus protects and cherishes everyone he cares for but none more so than Chazz and Alexis. They are his world. His everything. His reason. His.

Also the fact that when you looks into all the GX media, the dub, the sub, the manga, everything. Across it they each are associated with a weather phenomenon. One of Atticus's titles across the manga and the sub is Blizzard Prince. Which makes sense seeing as his Japanese name "Fubuki" literally means "blizzard". And as we all know, Manjoume Thunder. They are each associated with a type of storm which in my opinion, is why they are stormshipping. And long those lines, I associate each of them with a season. Atticus's season is summer, for obvious reasons, and Chazz's seas to me has always been winter. And I made these associations before I ever connected these two dots here. Atticus is associated with blizzards. A winter storm. And Chazz is associated with thunderstorms. Which generally speaking, are summer storms.

They are each associated with the storm that corresponds with the other's season.

That blew my mind when I finally connected those dots, literally destroyed my mind.

ALSO HERE HAVE SOME CONTEXTLESS VISUAL EVIDENCE

Leaning more on Chazz than Alexis when he's a little fucked up 👀

ONLY Atticus would picture him smiling like that. Only Atticus COULD picture him smiling like that because nobody else has ever SEEN it before.

LOOK AT CHAZZ. LOOK HOW ADORABLE HE IS WITH HIM.

CHAZZY'S AWKWARD B L U S H I N G !!

THE WAY HE SMILES AT HIIMMMMM

T H I S S H I T. THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHERRRRRRR. HE'S BLUSHING AGAAAAAINNNN !!!

There is no heterosexual explanation for this shot being from Chazz's POV.

LOOK AT THIS ROMANTIC ASS PRIVATE CONVERSATION ON THE BEACH AT FUCKING SUNSET.

Also the 0 heterosexual explanation shot is like right before this and that scene happens in the dead ass middle of the day and there were tons of people around. They waited until sunset when people had left the beach for the day to have this private conversation. So Chazz and Atty were probably hanging out together for a while already before this. Like they could've just gone somewhere else and had this conversation right away, but no. They WAITED. Maybe for a few HOURS. To have this conversation ON THE BEACH. ALONE. AT S U N S E T. O K A Y 😭

ANYWAY STORMSHIPPING IS EVERYTHING TO ME AND I ACTUALLY HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY BUT I CAN'T EVEN ARTICULATE IT RIGHT NOW I'M SO MENTALLY ILL OVER THEM SO I'LL SAVE IT FOR ANOTHER TIME AKSKSK

BUT THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RANT AND RAVE AND GUSH ABOUT THEM MY ANON FRIEND !!!!

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inkybloom-luv · 10 months

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Words Unsaid 4, housing arrangements suck

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Hello hello everyone who's been reading this series!! Part 4 is here! I hope you enjoy the series as much as I do!

Characters may be a bit ooc in this but this also includes some personal headcanons about Kalim and some stuff that'll be resolved in the next chapters

Some more spoilers from ch.4 so be aware

Again, can be read as x reader but I have been mentioning my prefect's name more in this chapter so be aware of that.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Tw: injuries, absolutely abysmal and disgusting living situation, Crowley being a bad headmage

1.6+k words

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Have I ever told you your hair looked pretty the way you wear it? The way you tie that beaten up black bandana around your dark hair that only barely differs in colour enough to differentiate? The blue in it makes it easier perhaps, but it's a recent change, from what I'd seen. Has the headmage decided to pay for a visit to the local hairdresser? I can't help but think you look nice, though your messy hair from before had its charm.

I digress. Your hair is not why I'm writing this, though I could go on about yours. I wanted to apologize to you. I want you to know that I regret nothing more than treating you the way I did. I took advantage of the way it seemed you could look only me in the eyes when speaking to someone. I betrayed Kalim. But that didn't hurt me as much as it did to betray you.

I found one of them, your letters. I wonder how many more there are. I wonder if any of them describe how much I'd hurt you. When I read it my heart ached and cracked and broke. It bled. I wish I'd known sooner. I wish I'd known about the incident with Azul. I wish I hadn't turned your dream, your desert mirage into a walking nightmare.

No, that wouldn't do. It didn't feel right. It felt.. Jamil didn't know what it felt like. He crumpled this paper too, throwing it way towards a trash can. He'd set up in his room, ducking away from prying eyes. But no matter how many papers he wrote, nothing felt right, felt good. It just wouldn't compare to the words she'd written about him. For once in his life he was at a loss. He had no plan, he didn't know what to do.

To make matters worse a knock sounded. Kalim. He was asking for tea once Jamil was free, but really, Jamil needed a break. He sighed a frustrated sigh and opened the door. He told Kalim he'd make him the tea, not noticing he'd kicked a ball of paper into the hallway. The most recent letter he'd thrown away. Kalim noticed it only after Jamil had left it. Picked it up and read it too. Kalim was a lot of things, though he acted carefree, dense and yes, kind of stupid, he was observant. He knew people. He knew Jamil. And he knew who this letter was addressed to. Even if it has been weeks since then, almost a month even. Sure, Jamil had thrown this letter out, but it was something Jamil had been doing for those weeks. Shutting himself in his room for at least an hour and especially at night the light from there would keep burning. And Kalim had had enough. He decided to help.

And that he did. He took the letter and headed straight for Ramshackle. It was pouring rain on campus. Ramshackle wasn't much better, seeing as it was an old building. Heck, he'd met the prefect a while back and they looked exhausted and slightly injured.

Kalim knew the dorm needed renovations but.. when he got there it was worse than he expected. Sure some areas were fixed up but the stairs had holes and the roof leaked, judging by the bowls and buckets all over the floor. The old couch was a bit uncomfortable but it was better than the creaky floor. It was cold too, so much so that the prefect wore a jacket. But with a broken window, courtesy of some Savanaclaw students who had been ostracized and punished well enough by Leona according to the prefect, everyone would be cold. The prefect wrapped a blanket around kalim, seemingly the only nice one. The one from their room which they'd struggled to move down the stairs that were obviously breaking more and more under anyone's step, no matter how light.

The prefect, or, as he knew her better, Inky, had gotten injured fighting Jamil. A bandage around their arm indicated that. Their shirt had a sleeve lifted to accommodate. One of the snakes in Jamil's hair had bitten her there, ripping out a bit of skin. But that was the only injury she'd really gotten. The other bandages and bandaids were from the poor condition of their living quarters. She twisted her ankle going up stairs as one of the boards gave way, the floorboards made her trip and bruise, the large shards of the broken window had cut her hands. And still Crowley was running this girl dry. He'd talk to Crowley afterwards. He finished drying his hair off with one of the few nice towels the prefect did have. he'd gotten it before the blanket.

No more time should be wasted. He spoke. "Jamil is upset. Stressed. He shuts himself in his room for an hour at least almost every day. His light burns into the night. I wanted to know what he's doing. I found this in the hallway and it's.. addressed to you as far as I know. I don't think he wanted you to see this. But if he keeps this up he'll never say what he wants." Kalim was worried. More than. The prefect skimmed the letter. She sighed, her lips pressing together. She should tell Kalim.. and she did. Because her letters couldn't stay hidden anymore. Jamil mentioned them in his writing.

"I write letters to Jamil about my encounters or thoughts of him. I didn't think he knew. But I must've dropped the one I was writing at the time in Scarabia.", she explained, her gaze pointed at the letter in her hands, tears welling up in her eyes now as she continued, her voice breaking as she spoke as steady as she could,

"I miss him. I thought he hated me. I'm.. I'm not good at reading people. I can't look people in the eyes but it was so easy with him. I'm scared to try again. But- But I want to. I've just been.. far too busy. The storm that's been plaguing the island has been causing trouble. The other students have been causing trouble. Everything is loud all the time and I can't take it..! I want to see Jamil. But I can't. I have too much to do. This dorm is falling apart. Someone needs to fix it and Crowley sure as hell isn't doing it. I can't leave here right now."

Kalim nodded his white haired head. He sighed. This was harder than he thought. So Jamil wants to apologize but cannot bring himself to do it in person in fear of Inky being.. scared of him. And Inky.. is way too busy to do much of anything and the storm outside is destroying the old dorm she lives in. No wonder she's hardly been seen, she's constantly repairing her home here. And she could barely keep up much of anything. Everything costs way too much for the little amount of money she gets.

That was an hour ago. Kalim was sitting in the common room, drying off and being oddly quiet. He was thinking. He should.. oh.. he doesn't know what he should do. He should tell Jamil though. Tell Jamil the prefect wants to see him again, but is struggling to make time for anything. When he passed Kalim, the latter called out to him.

"Jamil..! I visited Inky..! Apparently she's really busy.. and she looked hurt all over! I'm worried about her..!" He said in a slightly overdramatic tone. Jamil's face held a look of concern, genuine worry even for only a split second.

"What's happened to the prefect? Why were you visiting her in this storm anyway?", the long haired desert dweller asked.

"Well..! We haven't heard from her at all and I got worried..! You won't believe the condition she's living in, it's terrible Jamil..! She's freezing because of broken windows and the creaky floor is made of tripping hazards..! She almost fell so many times..! And the stairs too, they're so old they have holes and they almost break when anything with any weight lands on it..! The roof is leaking too! It's terrible Jamil!" Kalim had to take a short breather after that. There was no way he could keep talking out of breath. Even all that was enough to send dread to the pit of Jamil's stomach. Was it really that terrible in ramshackle?

"Their roof is leaking too! They can barely keep up with replacing the buckets and bowls and her ankle twisted funny the other day..! She looked so tired.. I want to cheer her up.. but I don't know what to do..! Even I can tell how unsafe it is in there..!"

Now that had Jamil actually shocked. The prefect had been living in that the whole time? How could anyone even- he couldn't believe it. His mouth spoke before his head could react. "Put her up in Scarabia. Get her to stay here-"

And that was what Kalim was hoping for. He may not be good in school or anything like that and rely on Jamil a lot. But. He could think for himself. He could make his own plan. And he did. And it worked.

"You know what Jamil? That's a great idea! I should have my parents donate some money to renovate Ramshackle.. can you tell the principal to tell the prefect?"

Who would've thought Kalim would manipulate someone, and so well too. Not that it was big. But it went very well. Jamil didn't protest. He left. He went to go see the headmage to tell him what happened. What would happen. And while he did that Kalim called his parents. He told them the same thing. Told them about the living condition of the prefect. Ramshackle would most definitely get renovated, even if it would take quite some time. Funds were no issue after all.

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@leonistic

@cy-inky

@azulashengrottospiano

@dove-da-birb

@krenenbaker

If anyone else wants to be tagged, send me an ask!

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1-1-s1ay-2-2 · 1 year

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Maybe I've not given my husband enough credit for the life I've lived with him. It only got wretched in the end. The love never really left...we just allowed it to get hidden and deeply buried within.

He's been more of a muse for me than I realized.

Especially in the beginning, in our mid-twenties when we first met...his true love was pure and genuine. It was a blessing.

He is a Scorpio indeed and part of me despises his very nature, but also, part of me finds him incredibly endearing and hard to forget.

Since I've been with him for the last, twenty-two years, we've experienced a lot of ups and downs together. Like a roller coaster ride through life. It's been exciting and adventurous and intense. Yes!

We've traveled from one end of the country together to the other. We've road-tripped from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean.

We've created children together and raised a family together and made wonderful, long-lasting memories together.

Despite our arrangement to have an "open marriage" in recent years, it was always him I gravitated back to. Everything else failed or didn't work out for some reason or another. But he did. My husband did.

We wear matching clothes without even realizing we're doing it until after the fact. if that's not #soul #twinning, I don't know what is?

Maybe he's not my twin flame, maybe he's my soul mate!

Maybe he's always been but I hadn't embraced it yet. Maybe really I already had true love right before my eyes. I didn't need to go looking online or wonder about the virtual halls of despair to find love.

Maybe love had already found me but I was too busy looking elsewhere. I do declare, marriage isn't about seeing how fast you can get divorced. Marriage is about toughing it out through the bad times and celebrating the good. Just like the vows we take before God.

We've made our way through a lot of darkness together and still danced in the light afterward. I've painted and written and creatively progressed so much since knowing him.

Maybe I didn't let him know how much I truly appreciated him and how much I was motivated to better myself because of the love he showed me when I was young. When I needed love the most.

He was there. He wasn't just words or a ghost or a shadow, he was real, every day, present, and accounted for.

We've grown older together, and he is my best friend.

Despite the "rocky phase" we've recently gone through in our personal lives and our marriage, we can still look at each other at the end of the day, face-to-face, and choose to be okay.

Because true love does that stuff. Marriage does that stuff. Best friends do that stuff. Real life does that stuff. Courage does that stuff.

The rest is best left unsaid and undone.

#marriage board #explained #because maybe the people who stay married are the ones who refuse to get a divorce #maybe marriage is worth fighting for #remember why you married them in the first place #love has the ability to be rebirthed and birthed again and again #God is capable of anything #anything is possible with God #miracles happen every day #believe #mustard seed faith

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sea-side-scribbles · 1 year

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Fanfiction: You Always Meet Twice

link to ao3

Chapter 33

They ate up all the yams that Morrie had brought outside. The roots were oddly satisfying, so Nick felt refreshed and full after their meal. His good mood however could've also been the effect of his companion's presence. Morrie hadn't said another word during their break and avoided to look at the rockstar once again. Still, it didn't concern Nick, since he sensed a connection between them and he was determined to prove it to Morrie.

After their meal, they went back inside the cave to fetch the rest of the treasure. While searching, a functioning flashlight surprised Morrie the most. He'd never give it away if he owned one. Nick cheered when the bright light suddenly illuminated the room. “Now you're the Lightbearer”, he shouted. Morrie honoured Nick's efforts with a lopsided smile. “Let's see what we missed in the dark.” With the flashlight's help, they found more little bits and pieces. A pile of Souvereins lay abandoned on the floor.

“Look at this!” Nick pointed at them. “We're rich!” Morrie's smile became sad. “I don't think we can buy our way out.” “Why not?” Nick began to like the idea. “They'd take the money and leave us here. Can't have Downers in town for peanuts.” “Huh...” Nick eyed the shiny coins. “You know what I would've liked as a treasure?” “Scotch?” Nick let out a wholesome chuckle. “You know me well. No, I mean a record player and a shelf full of records. Does nobody listen to music in here?” “How would you power that player?” “Huh...with my magic hands...” Nick wiggled his fingers. “Another one of your powers?” “I wish.” Nick shoved his hands into his pockets. “Do we take them with us?”, he asked nodding towards the Souvereins. “Yes. I wouldn't refuse a gift here. Perhaps they'll be useful for something.” “Home decoration.” Morrie snorted, but not mockingly. “I wouldn't mind to find a pretty painting one day...Anyway, let's gather what's most important and head home. I guess with all the stuff in here we'll need at least two trips.”

Eventually, they left the cave with full bags. Morrie carefully locked the door again and rattled at it afterwards to test it, concluding that it held good enough. It wasn't safe against brute force, but that was all they could do for now. Morrie was very positively surprised by how their journey went. Having a cave as a secret storage room or second home, if needed, was a nice change. A cave without dead bodies or Plaguies was indeed special.

“Do you think we'll make the second trip today?” Nick asked him when they left the site. “I doubt it. Depends...But we don't have to hurry. We won't be hungry for a while.” The Wastrel patted his purse full of yams. Nick smiled quietly, what made Morrie wonder. “Why the rush?” “No rush. I'd rather we don't exhaust ourselves too soon.” “Why not? Do you have any plans?” Morrie was stunned about the mere idea. How would he have plans yet? He rarely got along in the Garden District and he didn't know anyone else other than him. Nick darted a meaningful look at the other man. “Did you forget?” The heat shot back into Morrie's face. He never forgot anything. Why now?

His mind was suddenly empty. He couldn't think of anything they might've planned. Did he tell Nick about his plans to repair the house? But they had no tools yet. Was it about the houses they marked on the map? Why would Nick care so much about them? “Uh...what was it again?” It hurt to admit. Nick adored the pink tone of his cheeks. “You promised to show me the night.” “Oh!” It came back to Morrie. Their first race in the morning seemed to be days away. What was it that made him forget time and place, made him focus on the present? Rather, who was it? He looked at Nick as if he could answer his unsaid question. “Right...I guess I'll need a break anyway...”

Morrie really looked forward to doing absolutely nothing for a while. Staying away from Nick. Spending time with him was indeed entertaining, he grew to be admittedly a special Wastrel, but he was also exhausting. If Morrie was still alone, this trip would've been calming, just him and his plain surroundings. Nothing would disturb him. He would have made the two walks and then warmed himself up at his campfire, congratulating himself for finding this useful place. He would've listened to Uncle Jack's bedtime story, too. Gosh, he hadn't listened to Jack ever since had Nick showed up! He had given up his rituals to make up new ones.

Still, thinking of all this made him feel melancholic. This image was missing something. Pining for the nonexistent Nick in his head was definitely over. It would be ridiculous. Morrie shot a shy glance at his companion. He had underestimated how Nick's presence would effect him. He had thought he could have his revenge and then go back to normal. How wrong he had been. Nick would be here now. Always. If not in his house, he'd never be far away. The Garden District was bigger than the town, but it was still just a group of small islands.

“Morrie?”, a familiar voice brought him back. “Sorry, I...” the Wastrel blinked and shook himself. “I should stop doing that.” “Is it because of me?” Yes. “No. Don't worry about it. I'll get some more sleep when we're home. It's all I need.” “Okay.”

Nick wondered if it was the night that made him lose his head. In this case, it'd be very adorable. Morrie however told himself to get his shit together. That everything was fine. That he'd have his break, he'd tell Nick to leave him alone and then they'll walk around the house at night and that would be it. He wouldn't risk a long walk with this Newbie, even if Plaguies were rare in this part of the Garden. Hopefully, Nick would be content with this. If not, they'd have another fight. Good plans ahead.

“Morrie?” “Yes?” “Uh...I just realized...that I don't know anything about you...” Nick sounded careful. Morrie now realized it too. But also, he wasn't ready to talk about anything personal with this man. “There's not much to know”, he said quietly. “But you've been a talented musician.” That made Morrie laugh out loud. “Really? What makes you think that?” It was so absurd considering how Nick had sneered at him in the old days. Nick winced at Morrie's sudden outburst, but quickly caught himself. “You've been in my band.” “Ah...” Well, not for long.

“Listen, Nick, talking about the past is no good here either. If you wanna talk, let it be about something useful. How about...Do you see the herbs there? With the purple blossoms? You remember what they are?” “Er...” Nick half-heartedly searched where Morrie was pointing at. He hadn't expected him to give him an hour-long speech about his life, but he had hoped that the shy man would open up a little more. After everything they went through together. After admitting that Nick was good company, after all the laughs and happy moments they shared. But nope, back to the Garden and it's tasks.

Nick did his best to remember. He hadn't been paying a lot of attention when Morrie had explained the herbs to him. His mind had been distracted. Morrie complained about how Nick distracted him, but did he know how his own presence effected Nick? He didn't look like he knew. As much as he tried, Nick didn't manage to change the topic. For the rest of the journey, Morrie lectured him about the plants again and again. When their house was in sight, Nick could repeat at least some of them.

“Did you swallow a herbal book, or how do you know all this?”, Nick sighed. “People in Barrow Holm taught me”, Morrie said without emotion. “It sounds like a good place, this Barrow Holm.” Now Morrie became pensive. “It has it's good sides, yes...” “Why did you leave it?” “Ah...Nick...Another time, okay?” “Okay.” Morrie noticed how the rockstar's mood dropped, but he didn't feel capable of doing something about it.

They performed their usual coming-home ritual, looking for intruders, then they dropped their findings in the drawers. Morrie told Nick to put whatever he liked to keep in his own chest under the bed and was happy that the rockstar thankfully busied himself with collecting his new belongings. From another perspective, it was cute how that once rich man rejoiced over some odds and ends. From the perspective of the Garden, however, they were indeed precious belongings. It was strange how quickly Nick learned to value them. What Morrie didn't know was that Nick valued the mere gesture. Without knowing, he made Nick a part of his household, his life.

“Alright, I have to take a rest now”, Morrie announced after putting his loot away, looking forward to have some time alone. Nick wasn't happy to hear that. He shot the other man a begging glance. “What am I supposed to do in the meantime?” “You better rest, too, if you wanna feel fit at night.” Morrie headed towards his room, fleeing the scene. Nick's eyes followed him. When the Wastrel was out of sight, Nick sat down on his own bed and sulked. This wasn't how he had imagined to pass this day. “Resting” until nighttime? That seemed like forever. Considering Morrie's blackout however, there was a slight possibility that the man was really tired. Still, it felt like the man avoided him now that he tried to get to know him. And whenever he thought he succeeded, Morrie came up with something new. He won't give up, though.

Nick curled up on his bed, thinking that he had spend days in bed in his old life. It couldn't be so hard now, right? Even though he had no party favours to make himself pass out. He pressed his eyes shut and steadied his breath. This should work. Thoughts danced in his head, all focused on Morrie. They made him open his eyes again and stare at Morrie's room, wondering if he could find an excuse to disturb his sleep. But he still remembered the man's anger, so he stayed on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He busied his mind with imagining the upcoming night, playing it out in his head. Eventually, he dropped off.

He was surprised to see Morrie when he opened his eyes again. The house was dark, only the dim lights from outside illuminated it. Morrie had shaken him awake. Nick noticed it because he still had his hand on his shoulder when they looked at each other. Morrie was nervous. “If you still want that night-lesson...now would be the time...” Nick's fatigue faded and he gave Morrie a smile. “You remembered...” “Sure.” “Awesome. Just let me...” Nick slowly crawled out of the bed. He stretched and shook himself, fighting off his weariness. “Are you really ready?” Morrie sounded sceptical. “I am!” To prove it, Nick performed one of his high jumps.

Because the floor creaked when he landed, Morrie grabbed his arm.“Hey, careful with these old planks! They might not hold you.” When he realized what he was doing, he let go immediately. Nick regretted this, but he didn't let it show. Amused, he bobbed up and down, testing the floor. “Seems fine, though.” Morrie was about to grab him once more. “You better not try again. If you wanna jump, do it downstairs or outside.” “That's the cue”, Nick decided and headed to the stairs. His energy was back and he couldn't wait any longer. He gave the other man an eager look. Morrie realized that he was staring and began to move.

Climbing over the springtrap, Nick noticed that he could recognise less in the dark than he had expected. His foot got caught on the rope and he almost fell over. “Careful!”, he heard Morrie hiss over the rattling of the cans. There also was the anticipated touch on his arm again. “It's darker than I thought”, Nick explained his behaviour. “It's different without streetlights”, Morrie agreed and climbed after him, making no noise.

Nick turned his head to glance over the Garden and once again, the island didn't disappoint him. It was as beautiful as the night before. Now seeing it from up close, it was even prettier. The spots of red light seemed to come from a lush, blooming bush. The fog was back, drifting like clouds above the ground. It was strange that it didn't rise. But it's green light was pretty, too. The moon was almost full and shining brightly. The clouds that covered the stars were at least magically illuminated by the moon. Nick expected the best from this night. The only downside was the cold. For the first time, he really felt that he was rather underdressed and he wished he had non-shredded clothes for this occasion. He clenched his cold fingers into fists. Looking back at the other man, he did his best to look comfortable.

“Where are we going?”, he asked him full of curiosity. “Er, Nick, I'm not planning to take a long stroll with you...” “No?” Nick's eyes widened, begging. Morrie had to avoid them. He shoved his hands into this pockets, firmly. “It's too dangerous”, he explained. “But I want you to get a feeling for the night, so...let's walk around the house, okay?” Nick accepted the offer. It wasn't what he hoped for, but they could at least develop from there. Soon after, he learned that a seemingly boring stroll around the house would turn into an obstacle course at night. Not even two steps later, he stumbled over something that he only later recognised as a root. About to fall, he let out a shriek and waved his arms around, helplessly hanging in the dark. Morrie was quickly at his side to hold him. Because of this, Nick also learned to appreciate the obstacles.

In the meantime, it didn't escape Morrie that he touched Nick more often than before. He told himself it was necessary, to keep him on his feet, and it didn't mean anything. And that Nick didn't complain either, so there was no reason to worry about it. Of course, his mind wasn't so easily convinced. He noticed how close they walked side by side and he backed off a little, hoping that Nick was unaware. Nick however kept getting distracted by the beautiful surroundings. Turning the corner of the house had revealed another fascinating landscape, so he kept stumbling around, not even trying to see what lay in front of him. Morrie had no choice, he had to stay close to the other man or he would break his neck.

“Nick!”, he eventually said after the umpteenth time he staggered. “Are you doing this on purpose?” “Ow...”, Nick moaned, lifting his foot. His toes really hurt now and he wished he had paid attention. “No, I swear...”, he moaned some more. “I just...don't see anything...” “Of course you don't! You have to start using your feet, or your hands, if you must. You have to feel the ground and be careful with your steps. You've been clumsy enough at daytime, think about how long it took you to become adjusted to this.” “Ow...”, Nick sighed again and massaged his foot with one hand while clinging to Morrie with the other.

“How about shoes for the night?” “I thought about it, too, but they're making a lot of noise. Not very practical if you don't want to alert the night watch or the Plaguies.” “If you stub your toe you'll make a lot more noise”, Nick protested. “Don't do it then. Easy.” Nick panted. “Easy, he said.” “Shoes would just make you careless. Trust me, it'll be an advantage if you get used to this. Try it, Nick, this is a lesson after all.” The rockstar put his foot back on the ground and was glad to feel some soft soil underneath his heels. “There a way too many pebbles and roots around this house. We'll have to do something about it when the sun is up again.”

They went on and Nick really focused on the way this time. He got along much better now. “See? You're doing great!”, Morrie praised him, raising his spirits. In addition, Nick realized that this warmed him up. He didn't feel the cold anymore. Morrie's touches helped that, too. When they turned another corner, Nick's mood rose even more. They were about to reach some of the beautiful red bushes. From up close, he recognised that the bush was rather a couple of very large flowers with pointy petals that went from red to pink on the rims. Their spores were glowing too, creating dancing spots of light around them. Their were even prettier than he thought. Also, they helped him to see the next obstacles which made them easier to reach. Nick was eager to get to them.

Morrie noticed his new motivation and had to chuckle. Nick stopped in his tracks and glanced at him, wondering. “What's so funny?” The Wastrel waved him off. “Er, nothing, I guess every newbie is drawn to these flowers. They are impressive.” “What are they?” “Nightblooming Nonsuches. They're quite common here and I like to call them natural street lamps. I guess we'd be completely lost in the night without them.” “Why are they glowing and what do they do?” After all the herb lessons, this was the plant Morrie should've told him about. “I don't know and...I don't know...”, Morrie said in defeat. “They make a good sick up tea, useful if you ate something bad...but other than that? They're just pretty.” They were indeed.

Nick approached them. Soon he stood at a spot that was surrounded by Nonsuches. To his luck, the grass there was higher too, creating a soft surface to rest on. There he decided it would be a good spot. His feet hurt anyway. “I'm exhausted”, he moaned and made himself comfortable. “You didn't lie when you made a fuss about the night.” “And you didn't even see half of it”, Morrie added, actually glad that Nick paused. Him not moving felt easier to handle. But then he noticed that he didn't know what to do now. Join him? Remain standing? How long would he rest?

For some reason, this was a way different situation than their living room. There they sat close together because they gathered in front of the fire. Here it would be his own decision. As if Nick had heard him, he patted the grass next to him. ”Come here, Morrie. Don't make me feel like the only lazy bum around.” Morrie chuckled helplessly. “How about accepting the truth?” “Oh, you...!” Nick played offended. Seemingly defeated, he rested his head against the brick wall behind him. “What is it with you? You won't even sit next to me?” “It was a joke”, Morrie produced. His heart raced again. He scolded it.

This would be just a meaningless pause, goddamnit!

They would rest a few minutes and then move on, nothing to freak out about. But as usual, his heart was stubborn, as was his mind. Nick gave him a playful smile. It looked like he saw through him.

Oh, no, not this again, he can't see through me now!

He patted the grass again. “So, come here.” It didn't even sound like an order, what would've helped Morrie to refuse. His voice was soft and playful and soo irresistible. In the old days, he would've given everything to sit beside his idol in the night. Morrie's legs already moved before his mind came to a conclusion. Suddenly, he sat next to Nick, strangely close. He leaned against the cold wall and stared at the horizon. Racking his brain about what to do next, he plucked a Nonsuch and held it out to Nick. “There. That's what they look like.” As if he didn't see that himself. But all Morrie could think of was another herb lesson.

To Nick, this looked completely different. He accepted the flower and beamed at him. His look made Morrie realize what he just did. Nick sniffed the Nonsuch and palpated it's petals, giving Morrie an opportunity to make things clear. He began to talk about the flower's specific smell and how it's leaves felt like in comparison to others, as if Nick would ever mistake this plant for another. Nick nodded and pretended to be interested. Then his patience left him and he plucked the blossom. “Hold still”, he said to a confused Morrie and slid the flower right behind the other man's ear. Admiring his work, he wished he could take a photo of him now and keep this moment forever.

Morrie was thankful for the Nonsuches' red light, because they hid his blushing cheeks. “What are you doing?” He palpated the blossom in his hair, but he didn't rip it out. “If only you could see yourself now”, Nick swooned. “Why? Because it's funny?” Nick kept himself from rolling his eyes. How stubborn could a man be? “You think rather low of yourself, don't you?”, he whispered to him. Morrie was appalled still. “What? What makes you think that? I have no reason to...I don't regret anything!” He winded, fighting this off. How ridiculous, he was one of the town's most gifted musicians, he wasn't the one who drove everyone away and ruined his own career! If anyone,...

“Then you could...decorate yourself a little”, Nick softly went on. Morrie shook his head and pulled the flower out of his hair. He didn't throw it away, though. He kept it in his hands and looked at it while answering: “I don't need this. This is rather...your thing...” “Do you think I need this?” Nick's voice was soft as silk. Morrie hesitated. “Er, Nick...you really know how to use my own words against me...” Nick sighed. “I don't mean to. I just gave you the flower because I thought it would look pretty.” The other man wondered what to say to that. After a while, he came up with: “And did it look pretty?” He was shocked about his own mocking tone. He could feel Nick's eyes on him while he stared at the horizon again.

“Yes, very much. I wish you'd put it back.” Morrie shyly glanced at the other man. “You're joking”, he tried. “Tsk!”, Nick began to sound annoyed. “As if I'd joke about these things.” “I get it”, Morrie tried again. “We're alone...You haven't seen your fans since...seven days and...” “You know how many days we're together now?” The Wastrel blushed again. “Sure, you think I wouldn't keep a calendar in here? I still wanna know the date, I'm not a Neanderthal!”, he protested. “You never told me the date.” “You never asked!”, Morrie shouted. “Anyway”, Nick began after a pause, “Is there any chance I get this flower back into your hair?” The other man was stunned by the fact that this topic wasn't over. He wondered why he even allowed this to happen. Why he didn't just tell Nick to move his lazy arse before the night ended, to continue the lesson as they planned. Instead, he said: “If you insist...”, and put the flower behind his ear. Then he felt the rockstar's eyes on him again.

He cleared his throat and stared at his best friend, the horizon. “How do you feel now?” he asked. “Are you ready to continue?” “I feel better”, Nick admitted, “but I don't want to continue yet.” “U-huh”, Morrie produced. “And you didn't wanna feel lazy.” He sensed how the other man scanned him. “It's my nature...”, he sighed absently. Then they remained like this, with Morrie making an effort not to look at his companion. “Morrie?” Again, Nick was the one to break the silence first. Morrie was startled to notice that the had leaned closer, whispering in his ear. “Hm..?”, he only grunted, gaze staunchly averted. “Look at me.”

His voice melted through Morrie's defence, pleading and alluring at the same time. Morrie couldn't help but turn his head. His gaze unsurely flickered over the other man, clueless where to look at. Nothing seemed to be safe, not his eyes, not his hair, especially not his lips, but also not his shoulders and bare chest. He was glowing pink, just like everything else around. Way too close to each other, they held out like this.

Nick's eyes weren't as shy as Morrie's. They wandered over his body, fully aware what they saw. Morrie's gaze got caught in Nick's freckles on his cheeks. They were really adorable and Morrie wondered what they would feel like under his lips. The thought made him swallow hard. He couldn't say that he didn't know what was about to happen, that it had been unpredictable with a man like Nick. This would hover over them every day from now on if they didn't get this over with.

He could say no.

But...why would he? This was different. He wasn't a helpless little boy anymore. Nothing was at stake for him. And if this ridiculous little man wanted it, too...

Like in trance, he turned his head, finally focusing his gaze onto the half-opened lips. Nick's heart jumped at the gesture. Morrie leaned closer. He went for it.

Nick didn't have to move to be taken over by Morrie. Their lips touched, and for Nick they tasted as sweet as the flower's scent. He felt a hand wander to the back of his head, pressing him into their kiss. Morrie's eagerness aroused him and he was melting in his strong hands. Clinging to Morrie, he grabbed his shoulder to hold himself up.

The other man slid closer to him while not letting go of his lips. Also Nick moved, Morrie noticed him straighten himself, slowly gaining the upper hand. Sitting above him, he cupped Morrie's face and now it was Morrie who clung to him, hands digging into his shredded corduroy jacket.

It felt strange to taste him again after all this time. The strong vanilla flavour was missing, but it was actually a nice change. He didn't know how he would've handled the familiar taste. From this however, he couldn't get enough. Nick was tender. Their tongues played like old friends, happy to see each other again. If he even remembered? He might now.

Because his legs began to hurt, Morrie pulled himself up on the wall until he knelt over Nick. For a while, he played with the rockstar's hair, being shy about touching him further. Then he took courage and wrapped him into a tight hug. Finally, his fictional Nick and the real Nick melted into one. They felt the same. He held Nick in his arms, just like he had imagined, and it felt wonderful.

Nick chuckled quietly when he was pressed against the other man's body. Their lips lost each other for a moment and Nick felt loving kisses on his cheek and temple. Petting Morrie's back, he enjoyed them for a while, until he craned his neck to reach him again. Morrie understood. Eventually, they found each other. Morrie was afraid his mouth would be sore in the morning. Both of their mouths.

When Nick began to lustfully bite at his lower lip, Morrie raised his head, away from the eager rockstar. He kept holding him close and gasped for air. Only now, he noticed his heartbeat. And Nick's. The other man was out of breath as well while their hearts beat a fast rhythm. Nick didn't try another bite, careful not to lose the other man's affection. He cuddled against him instead. This was all he had wished for.

When his breath steadied, Morrie caressed Nick's hair again, because he simply couldn't keep his hands out of it. Then he kissed it tenderly while stroking his cheek. He noticed that Nick attempted to look up to him and let go, so that he could move. Wide, sparkling eyes met his. Morrie couldn't help but smile and fondle the thick, fluffy hairstrands. Nick reached out as well, touching a spot behind his ear. Oh, right. He was still wearing the flower. Nick seemed to like it and he was very adorable looking so happy.

Curiously, Morrie plucked a blossom himself and carefully placed it behind the rockstar's ear. Nick didn't avert his gaze once while Morrie adjusted the flower. With another stroke through his hair, Morrie finished and smiled at him. He was so beautiful. “This looks better on you”, he whispered. Nick looked confused. “No”, he replied and sniffed. “No, it doesn't...” Immediately, Morrie was concerned and upset. “What is it? What did I do wrong? Don't you like it? I thought...” Nick stopped the hand that attempted to pull the Nonsuch out and stroked it with his thumb. “Ssshh, it's okay.” While he kissed the hand, Morrie felt that his face was wet. “You're crying”, he said, still confused. Nick sniffed again. “Yeah...I guess old Nick has become soppy.” Morrie wondered about his answer for a moment, then he remembered the last time the rockstar had cried. Or rather, had been moved to tears.

Morrie didn't know what to say. He was moved himself. This Nick was emotional, sensitive, emphatic and helpful. He was a little bratty at times, but he always meant well. He wasn't the shining bright, infallible, omniscient Golden God he had imagined, but very lovable. Morrie didn't know better than to kiss him again, the cute tip of his nose, his soft cheeks with the adorable freckles and finally his tasty lips. To Nick, the kisses felt like a massage. He'd stay here forever, being caressed by this wonderful man who had saved his life. Who took care of him. Who showed a kind of affection he had thought to never deserve again. No wonder that his tears kept rolling. He sobbed into the kisses, certain that if Morrie didn't hold him so tightly, he'd fall apart.

“Nicky?” Morrie's soft voice comforted him. “It's getting cold.” “Yeah”, was all that Nick could come up with. “Let's get back inside, okay?” Morrie felt odd giving advise again, but they couldn't stay out in the cold, just lingering. And he was sure they wouldn't continue the lesson. “Okay.” Nick didn't even regret leaving the beautiful spot. His preferred place was in Morrie's arms. As if Morrie knew it, he held Nick's hand while they made their way back around the house. Nick clung to it, unaware how much Morrie needed to his hand in return.

#you always meet twice #we happy few #nick lightbearer #morrie memento #nickxmorrie #nick x morrie #whf nick #nicklightbearer #morriememento #whf morrie #the garden district #gardendistrict #garden district #whf fanfiction #whf #wehappyfew

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huge-enthusiast · 3 years

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Miraculous fic recomendations!!

This is just an excuse to show all my bookmarks? Yes. Yes, it is. I'm pretty sure most of this fics are really popular, but try see if you find something you didn't knew about!

All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don't put the author's tumblr is because they didn't put it in the fic or/and I couldn't find it.

Pairing: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

knowing you by emsylcatac (they are not really the author of the fic but that's the account that says in the fic, the actual author doesn't have an account).

After dropping their transformations months ago, Marinette and Adrien see each other for the first time after being apart. They've both left too much unsaid and have to work to pick up the pieces of their confused hearts.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal but mostly ladynoir, light angst with happy ending.

the last day on earth by Reiaji

The first time Marinette sees Chat Blanc, she's fourteen years old. The second time, fifteen—the third time, seventeen.

The closer she grows to Adrien, the harder it is to save him.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, kinda heavy angst, hopeful ending.

tell me something i don't know by carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)

Do you think it still means something? To love someone, even if the universe said you had to?

The odds of having a soulmate are about negative one billion (or something like that). But somehow, like they always have, Marinette and Chat Noir find themselves together. They’re ready to finally tell each other everything, but it turns out that even soulmates have to keep secrets, and while their bond draws them together, duty forces them apart.

Chapters: currently 17/28 (WIPs can be exhausting but this one is 100% worth the wait!)

Mostly marichat but almost all of the lovesquare sides make an appearance, soulmates au, mostly fluff but it can get angsty if it wants to.

One Thing After Another by SKayLanphear

Marinette notices that, sometimes, Adrien acts a little out of the ordinary--like the time he stood in a cardboard box for no reason, or when he actually hissed at Nino. It's only when she starts to notice the similarities between Adrien and a certain feline that she begins to get suspicious.

Basically, Adrien acts like a cat when he probably shouldn't.

Chapters: 15/15

Mostly adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, miraculous side effects (by both sides wich is really cool!), it's fluff with a lil tiny angst for drama.

This would take some getting used to by Codango (@codango here on tumblr!)

Adrien peeked out from behind the chimney even as the magic of his own Chat Noir mask fell away.

She was still visible, her dark hair bobbing under the street lamps a couple blocks away.

“Marinette.”

Adrien blew out a confused breath. His fiery Ladybug… was the quiet little mouse who sat behind him in class?

“What. The.”

This… would take some getting used to.

Chapters: 8/8

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Adrien's part, awkward flirting, just fluff, nothing to worry about.

comfort food also by Reiaji!

In Marinette's house, cooking is a language of love, and Marinette loves Adrien more than most.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette with a little of ladynoir, super super fluff, a lot of insight into Marinette's chinese heritage.

The right side of his face by walkingonthestars (@hamsternamedmarinette here on tumblr!)

Marinette and Adrien are able to remain in their new seats in the back of the room at the end of Chameleon.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette, fluff with light angst.

it's a long way forward so trust in me by aloneintherain (@captainkirkk here on tumblr!)

“You’re not the only strong one around here, Chat,” Marinette said. She looked a little winded, but she wasn’t struggling to hold him up.

This close up, he could see the freckles on the bridge of her nose. He could see how that smug smile lit up her eyes. He could feel the strain of her arms—and wow, okay, he really wasn’t the only person around here with muscles.

Six times Marinette carried Adrien (plus one time he carried her).

Chapters: 1/1

All the sides of the lovesquare! Fluff with LOTS of mutual pining.

a fight that you were born to lose also by aloneintherain

When the prosecution starts throwing around the word victim in reference to Adrien, he has to stuff his hands under his thighs to keep himself from bolting out of the courtroom.

Adrien had felt unsafe during those last few weeks, but, until he had woken up and seen Father silhouetted in his bedroom doorway, that had only been paranoia. Father was controlling and cold, but he wasn’t hateful. Adrien was isolated. He was often hungry. And some weeks ago, when he had snuck out to visit Nino, sitting thigh-to-thigh on his bed while Adrien cried in that silent, crumbling way of his, he hadn’t argued when Nino put a hand on his shoulder and said, tentatively, That’s abuse.

But Adrien remembers being small and Father touching his hair after he’d aced another test; Father holding his scribbled drawings like they were something precious, and framing them around his office; Father, dressed as Hawkmoth, his eyes wild behind the mask, lashing his sword against Adrien’s baton; Father, collapsed against Mum, crying into her ashy hair.

Adrien finds out Gabriel is Hawkmoth, and Gabriel gets to bring his long-waited plan into action.

Chapters: 1/1

This one doesn't really focus in the ship that much as is an Adrien character study and an exploration of his relationship with his father, but they're still there so I put them here. Really heavy angst (this is one of this fics that haunt me in the middle of the night) with a happy ending. ❗TW: parental abuse, eating disorders❗

Supercut by LNC

Marinette loves her friends and Adrien can't deal.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, again light angst, an exploration of Adrien's insecurities, Marinette Dupain-Cheng deserves the world, happy ending.

Madame Snare by jettiebettie

“Sounds like a lot of work for nothing. She should take this as a sign to have a relaxing weekend with no responsibilities.”

“It's a lot of work she put her whole heart into. It wouldn't be right for it to go to waste,” Adrien whispers to him. The look on Marinette's face is enough to cause Adrien's own heart to ache. If anyone deserves the satisfaction and pride from a job well done, it's her.

“Too bad there isn't anyone else who can walk in those death traps,” Plagg says. Adrien hums in thought, tapping his chin.

“I could.”

Chapters: 1/1

Marichat, episode-based, Chat Noir in a dress!!!, light angst but it's mostly just idiots being idiots and a lot of fun.

in the same sun by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)

"It’s hard to believe that I saw you last at the peak of summer, when the sun was close and warm - and so were you. It should go without saying that I miss you. I miss you something terrible."

"It’s been seven months to the day since I’ve seen you. I wish you were here more than anything else."

Two letters, signed with initials instead of names, found in Paris, France.

Chapters: 1/1

Ladynoir, just angst, that's it, written like letters. No ending, just pain.

an uncurtain discovery by Missnoodles (@ladyofthenoodle here on tumblr!)

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Chapters: 1/1

Ladrien, it says it's crack, and don't get me wrong, is super funny, but I also found it sad as fuck?

An Open Secret by Kasienda

Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.

He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.

Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.

He knew Ladybug’s name!

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.

It wasn’t fair!

...

A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.

Chapters: 4/4

Post-reveal... but is it? Mostly adrienette and ladynoir, fluff with light angst and them being absolute idiots at hiding their secret identity.

golden (like daylight) by okayanna (@anna-scribbles here on tumblr!)

Friendship, Adrien decided, shaking off the mental image of Marinette’s hurricane eyes and hesitant mouth, parted in a small, careful “o.” He had a very strong friendship with Marinette. That was all.

Adrien thinks a lot about words, love, and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Chapters: 1 + epilogue

Adrienette but has lots of ladynoir, another Adrien character study because I hate myself, it tries to not be angst but the writing will punch you in the guts and make you cry, it's so good.

Strangers in the Bright Lights by poodles (@ladybeug here on tumblr!)

Adrien is about two drinks in when he sees a girl at the end of the bar wearing black cat ears. It's kind of weird, so he watches her, and although it's crowded he can see her face when she turns around. She’s wearing a Chat Noir mask. He takes a quick look around- nobody else is wearing a mask. Just her.

Adrien finishes his gin martini and heads over to her. He could use some company tonight anyways, he hasn’t told anyone he’s back in Paris and Nathalie won’t arrive in town for another month. And it’s been a rough day, okay? A rough move! He’s not sure he wants to be back yet, and he spent most of the day in the Agreste mansion sorting through some photographs of his father he found in the study. Maybe he wants a drink and some stranger to tell him he’s pretty! That’s not a crime, is it?

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette but it's also ladrien??? I think??? It's super super angsty but they're both drunk the entirety of the fic so it's also really funny.

Pick-Up and Chase by also SKayLanphear

After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just deserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans.

A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it.

Chapters: 10/10

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, it doesn't say it in the tags but I'm pretty sure the characters are much older than they actually are in the show, so much fluff and so much flirting.

Pairing: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe

Nino Has Done Nothing To Deserve This by GuardianKarenTerrier (@guardiankarenterrier here in tumblr)

It's nothing, really- just an innocent comment, a joke. But when they hear it, Nino and Alya come to a realisation.

There were, in retrospect, dozens upon dozens of hints. Now that they're suddenly aware of all their friend's flimsy excuses and rushed explanations, they're not only sure how they've missed it, they're not sure how anyone else has either. They realise that it had to be magic protecting their friends- and that same magic has ceased to work on the two of them.

Well, this means they'll just have to start watching over their friends themselves.

Chapters: 7/7

This is more a found family fic than anything else, Alya and Nino are the mom friend, has light angst but it's mostly identity shenanigans in the most bizarre way. ❗TW: eating disorders❗

christmas lights by demistories

Nino checks up and down the street, checking to make sure there’s no raging akuma headed his way before he crosses quickly and ducks inside the small café. He closes the door quickly before the icy air can blow inside and tugs his beanie down over his ears. He spots Alya sitting alone in the corner.

Chapters: 1/1

Just fluff!! Really short but really sweet.

hold on, i still want you also by Missnoodles!

Written for the @thedjwifizine ! Wich I also recommend if you wanna binge a lot of djwifi fics while also looking at amazing art!!!

Five times Alya ran into her ex, and the one time he stopped being her ex.

Chapters: 1/1

Light angst with a happy ending! I don't really like the ex-lovers to lovers trope but this one is the only exception.

I will continue to expand the list in the future! But by now I hope I was helpful in the search of new fics!

2K notes · View notes

jenomark · 3 years

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➔Pairing: Jeno x Reader (Female) ➔Other Members/ Characters: -.- ➔Genre: Smut (with a plot!) ➔Warnings: Sexual tension & Penetration. ➔Word count: 2,470

➔Summary: You haven't called your ex-boyfriend in two years, but he's the first person you call when you're in a bit of trouble. He comes when you call, thus sparking a night neither of you will be able to move on from.

Anon request #1: can I request an ex to lovers scenario with jeno where his ex and him decided to stay as friends and since always they had a huge tension and after 2 years they got really flirty or smth, thanks💖

Anon request #2: hi, I want to request a drabble about sex with jeno, thank you!!

Jeno looked at his buzzing cell phone and blinked lazily. He hadn't seen your number come up since you broke up with him, which had to have been two years ago. He had managed to stay friends with you over those two years, but you were never friendly enough to call each other at three in the morning. Still, Jeno picked up the call to hear static at the other end of the line, wondering if he would still feel the same when he heard the sound of your voice.

"Hello?"

There was more static. When he thought you might have pocket dialed him, and he was getting ready to hang up, he heard your voice. Time seemed to slow down in those moments.

"Jeno?" you said. "I don't have good service out here. I'm scared, Jeno."

Feeling his heart race, Jeno asked, "Where are you? What is going on?"

"Off the highway. My car broke down." you said. "Can you come get me?"

Jeno sprang out of bed immediately, tearing the covers from his naked body. He got dressed while keeping you on the phone with him, so that you weren't scared. He drove to where you were, pulling over to the side of the road. When you saw him, you got out of your car and stood awkwardly, wringing your hands together.

"I know I shouldn't have called you first," you started to say. "But i-"

"-It's okay." he said, meaning it.

Jeno was bone tired, but being in front of you made him more alert. Though you broke his heart, he was still so careful with yours. Jeno came over to your car to look at it, pulling up the hood like he had any idea what he was truly doing. You watched his muscles as he fiddled around with stuff, your eyes slightly glazing over.

"I don't know much about cars." he said, shutting the hood. "I'll call someone to come pick this up. Until then, I will drive you back home. It's too late for us to be waiting out here."

You nodded and followed him back to his car. He made the call quickly before setting his cell phone down in the cup holder. There was so much gratitude for him in the silence, but you couldn't seem to get any of your thoughts out. You were still thinking about his muscles, about how handsome he looked at nearly four in the morning.

"It's done," he said. "They'll pick your car up soon. You can figure out what to do about it tomorrow."

"Thank you." you said.

It had started to rain. A few droplets hit the front of his windshield before a whole sheet of rain came down, hitting the top of his roof as hard as rocks. He could barely see out of the windshield, so he decided to wait for the storm to pass. It was awkward inside of the car, and too quiet.

You cleared your throat. "Are you seeing anyone?"

Jeno looked over at you, his eyebrows raised in surprise. Seeing his expression, you realized what an invasive question it was. You tried backtracking, but you were sputtering your words enough to make Jeno laugh.

"Relax," he said. "I'm not seeing anyone."

You didn't know what you were thinking. Maybe you were too tired to think straight. Maybe it was the sound of the rain. Maybe it was the way he looked at you in the darkness of the car. You reached over and touched the hand that rested on the steering wheel until he looked you in your eyes.

"You got Lasik eye surgery." you said. "You used to look so cute in your glasses."

For Jeno, it was easy. There has always been sexual tension between you. Touching the top of your hand felt natural. He leaned over, grabbed your chin and kissed you. You made out, completely unaware that the rain had stopped. When everything slowed down, you were straddling Jeno in his seat, and his hands were on your ass. You parted, your eyes staying on his lips until he spoke.

"I should get you home." he said.

"You should come home with me." you said, surprising yourself more than him.

Jeno laughed and eased your body off of his. "I want that more than you know, but I don't think it's a good idea. I could never control myself around you. "

Jeno drove you home, the only sound in the car coming from the windshield wipers noisily wiping away droplets of rain. You followed the blades swiping left to right, your brain in a funk.

Breaking up with Jeno was one of your top ten mistakes. You weren't as wise as you are now. You didn't know what you had when you let it go. You had carried his hurt with you everywhere you went for two years. Though you remained as friends, there was always weird tension whenever you met up with each other. His group of friends didn't trust you, and your group of friends always took your side, even though each of them was in love with Jeno. Your shared friends didn't get into the middle of it, and you and Jeno spent 24 months skating around unspoken apologies.

"We never had a chance to talk alone." you said, finally getting the bravery to speak out. “There are a lot of things left unsaid.”

Jeno pulled up in front of your house. You weren't surprised he knew where you had moved to, because you had been dropping hints for months. You had always hoped Jeno would roll up one day and give you another chance you didn't quite think you deserved.

"We don't have to talk about it now. "It's early in the morning and we both could use some sleep," he said.

You hummed in agreement, looking out of the rain soaked window at your lonely, dark house. You looked up at the sky and wanted the sun to come up, to cast a pretty glow over you and soften the experience of sitting with your ex in his car.

"You're like my knight in shining armor." you said. "I owe you a lot."

You had your hand on the door handle. You wanted to lean over and kiss him the way he kissed you, but your bravery only went so far. Jeno seemed to be thinking a similar thing. His eyes fell to your lips. Before either of you could act, he unlocked his doors.

"Get some sleep." he said, rubbing his arms as if he were cold. "I'll check in tomorrow to see how you're doing. I don't want them overcharging you for their services. If you want, I can go with you to make sure they don't."

"Okay." was all you could say. You got out of the car, tapped on his window as a way to say thank you and walked up the pathway to your house. You touched your fingers to your lips and remembered the way he tasted.

Jeno stayed there idling while you put your lock into the door and turned the handle. Once you were safely inside, you didn't wait to see if he had driven away.

You walked into your home, not caring enough to flick lights on. You weren’t as tired as before. Making out with Jeno had felt like an IV of caffeine had slipped into your bloodstream. Your body felt swollen in places, your heart most of all. You walked through the rooms, taking off your bra underneath your t-shirt and flinging it across the back of your couch. Your foot was on the first step of your stairs when you heard a soft rapping sound on your front door. Backtracking, you walked back to the door and flung it open, crossing one of your arms against your chest to hide yourself.

“Hi,” Jeno said.

He stood rooted to the spot, his eyes darting frantically around your face. You had no time to greet him back before he stepped over the threshold and took your lips against his. You moved your arm and let him smash his hard chest against your free breasts. Your nipples were aroused and you knew he could feel them against the thin material of his t-shirt. You threw your arms around his neck and clung to him, savoring the taste and feel of him.

“I know I said no but....” he said, between kisses. “It was very hard to watch you walk away from me just now.”

You kissed him and bit down on his lip, pulling it lightly with your teeth before letting go. “Take me to bed.” you said. “Or the floor...the couch..i don’t care, Jeno, just take me.”

Jeno picked you up into his arms. He shut your front door and locked it behind him without ever taking himself away from your lips. He was strong enough to carry you upstairs without struggling, which made you even more aroused than you already felt.

“To the left.” you whispered against his mouth.

It was strange having him in your new bedroom, yet, there was something familiar about seeing him amongst your possessions. He felt like he belonged. Jeno set you down on your bed and let out a groan of approval when you wouldn’t let go of his neck. You tried to trap him with your thighs, but he had pinned your arms above your head, which made you release him. Your body relaxed, half hanging off of your bed. Your stomach was bare where your shirt had ridden up, so Jeno leaned down to kiss it. He pushed it all the way up to expose your bare breasts and take them in your mouth one at a time. He was really going at it, feeling them and teasing them, when you put a stop to things and slipped out from underneath him.

“Can you give me a moment?” you asked, your face growing hot. “ I just need a second.”

Jeno sighed but agreed. He sat on the edge of your bed and watched you slink into your bathroom. You tried your best to freshen up, to get the 5 a.m stink off of you. Your mind was frantic and thinking of a million things that could go wrong. You realized that you were extremely nervous. The door to the bathroom slowly opened to reveal Jeno standing there with his hands in his pockets, and all of those thoughts faded like ghosts into the foreground.

“What are you doing?” he asked, crooking his finger. “Get over here.”

It was much easier than you thought it would be. It was like two friends getting together after a long time, friends that knew each other’s bodies inside and out. You tore off your shirt, not caring whether your armpits were sweating anymore. He met your breasts and moaned in appreciation as his mouth got back to business. On the bed, he rolled on top of you, laying kisses all down your body. You lifted your head up and let him nip at your neck. You took your hands and placed them underneath his t-shirt to touch his abs.

“Well,” you breathed. “This has changed.”

Jeno could only laugh. He took off his shirt and let you admire his body, which had definitely changed since the last time you took him to bed. You touched the hardness of his chest, down to the smoothness of tummy leading down to his cock, which you remembered in every detail. You sidled underneath him and let your tongue taste the salt on his skin. You bit down on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes.

Your body had changed, too. You were softer in a lot of places, which Jeno loved. He wanted to touch and savor all of you. There was an overeagerness to him that stifled any remaining awkwardness there could have been. He bit down on your shoulder in response, scraping his teeth against your skin before he met your mouth. His tongue wound its way around yours for a few seconds, just relishing the feeling of them together.

Once all the clothes were removed, a desperation started to change the atmosphere. Things were no longer silly. He didn’t laugh. You didn’t go anywhere but in his arms. The rain on the window was quiet but present. The sun was seeping into your skin where you lay underneath him. There was a moment where he grabbed your face between his hands and held you there, his thumb brushing across your cheek. He kissed you sweetly, his lips full.

When Jeno entered you, it was like all the memories of your sex life came flooding back. You would always miss him inside of you when he wasn’t there, miss the full feeling that came when he penetrated you for the very first time. You had missed the sounds his throat made whenever he concentrated on pleasuring you. You hadn’t forgotten how skilled his fingers were at fondling you, or how each stroke never failed to make you lose all thought. He fucked your body like it meant something in the morning glow. He didn’t slow down for anything, not even when he felt your fingernails digging into his back.

He had let you take control. You moved on top of him and sank down onto his cock, holding onto his arms as you did. With your hands pressed against his chest, you moved. You rode Jeno wildly, bucking against his pelvis with abandon. He tugged on your hair when you tilted your chin towards the ceiling. He gripped your waist. He smacked your ass. He did everything in his power to bring you back to him every time you slipped away. Your eyes eventually found him again. You moved lower and rode him, your sweaty body gliding against his. He held you, his thick arm around your neck as he felt your walls contract, as you came around his cock.

You wanted to cry out, wanted to bring the room down around you. You kept fucking him, wanting to coax the cum from his cock, to feel the warmth moving downwards with gravity. You wanted to keep it going forever, but it wasn’t meant to be. It had been a long time since you two had made love, and your bodies were too excited to hold back.

You knew there would be a talk somewhere in the future, when he was ready. As Jeno screwed up his face in orgasm, as you felt the warmth of his cum, you were a little too happy to prolong that conversation. You wanted him in your life for a long time but, for now, you would take him any way you could get him.

#jeno #lee jeno #nct jeno #jeno smut #nct smut #lee jeno smut #jeno fanfic #nct fanfic #nct dream fanfic #nct dream smut #lee jeno fanfic #hope you don't mind me combining these #i liked where the first one was going #and i was not originally going to add sex but I know some people out there would love it #so it felt right to answer both

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kayladoesnotknow · 2 years

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Vigilante! Wordgirl prompts I've made up.

I've had this idea of Wordgirl being a vigilante for a while (like about a year) before committing to it and making an actual world around it. This is just the stuff I came up with, hopefully, I'd be able to flesh them out more in the future.

TW// mentions of violence

• Becky in this universe isn't an alien nor she is from the Planet Lexicon. She IS, however, a genetically modified super soldier from Lexicon Laboratory (Lexi labs for short)

• Bob or Captain huggy face here isn't an actual monkey like in the show, he's a sentient AI whose data chip can be transferred to a robotic monkey. Which is a form that he uses most of the time. Otherwise, he'd just hang inside devices and gadgets. (Like Jarvis!).

• Becky doesn't remember much before she was 6 years old. She knows she's from a lab, she knows she was born inside said lab, but she only recollects bits and pieces, not the full picture. One of the last things she remembers is an explosion, and nothing more. She doesn't remember what they made her do, what they did to her, just that Lexicon Laboratory is good and only good.

• Becky has enhanced– not super– but enhanced strength, speed, and hearing. She is strong enough to pick up several stacked cars with one hand, she can run faster than a race car and has hearing so sharp that she could even hear a small grain of salt dropping to the floor.

• She can do all that but not to the point of the extreme. For example, while she is really strong, she isn't strong enough to pick up a whole building or easily dismantle robits. She is fast yes, but not as fast as the speed of light. While she has really sharp hearing, she can't hear as far from like a 10-mile radius. Just things that are near her.

• Becky only comes out as WordKnight when it's nighttime. Not day, never day. She can integrate and lurk within the shadows better that way, plus the whole point of it is so her enemies can't spot her when she's in the darkness. So it adds up the element of surprise when she strikes each of them down.

• Most of the Innocent citizens of Fair city think that WordKnight is merely a myth or an old Fair city urban legend that recently resurfaced. But the criminals? Oh, they know just how real she is.

• The Villains here don't (mostly) commit small or petty crimes. They're just not cartoony villains either, they're fucking terrorists in this universe.

• Bob knows what happened at Lexi Labs. He remembers everything. It's rendered in his data chip after all. Becky always pleaded with him to tell her, but no matter what he won't. She won't know. She can't know. Somethings are just better left unsaid.

• Becky Botsford is a sweet, clever, and thoughtful girl with her well-known passion for words, and fierce temper. WordKnight is a terror, she's cold, brutal, unforgiving, and merciless. She's a menace that puts fear in Fair City's criminal underground, and she will calculate every step of your demise.

• Becky often has an identity crisis because of that. Sometimes she doesn't know whether she's Becky Botsford or the cruel knight of Fair city. ₩ⱨ₳₮ ł₴ ₴ⱨɇ? Thankfully, Bob is always there to help her go through it.

• [ⱤɆĐ₳₵₮ɆĐ]

• Becky used to have a friend. He was a scientist too. His name was sʇǝʌǝu boxןǝıʇnǝɹ. Becky saved him from a couple of low tier hooligans as WordKnight. WordKnight would stop by him often, he feels familiar. He knows who she is, but she doesn't. WordKnight would occasionally get his help when she was having some trouble with her missions, and he would tell her tales, and projects he'd be working on. The most recent project was a device that could tead the mind of a mouse lab he had. Becky never really understood why he would want to know what a rodent is thinking, but she supported him anyway. It was until one day, she saw on the news a house near the Bowery exploded. WordKnight visited the site but there wasn't anything left, no lab, no mouse, no sʇǝʌǝn.

• 🅸🆃 🆆🅰🆂 🅷🅴🆁 🅵🅰🆄🅻🆃. 🆂🅷🅴 🆂🅷🅾🆄🅻🅳'🆅🅴 🅱🅴🅴🅽 🆃🅷🅴🆁🅴 🅵🅾🆁 🅷🅸🅼.

• 🆆🅷🆈 🅳🅸🅳 🆂🅷🅴 🅻🅴🅵🆃 🅷🅸🅼 🆄🅽🆂🆄🅿🅴🆁🆅🅸🆂🅴🅳.

•HÖWÇÖÚLÐɎÖÚHÖWÇÖÚLÐɎÖÚHÖWÇÖÚLÐɎÖÚHÖWÇÖÚLÐɎÖÚHÖWÇÖÚLÐɎÖÚHÖWÇÖÚLÐɎÖÚ—

• ▒▒▨▒▒▒▒☴ ☵ ☶ ☷

• Becky doesn't have accelerated healing. So whenever she's heavily injured she has to try to hide the next morning or come up with some excuse. The amount of times she nearly gave her parents heart attacks is countless. One time she came downstairs with a whole broken arm, and her excuse was 'The door is much more solid than it looks or that other time where she had a crooked nose, her excuse was 'I fell off the bed.' Nevertheless, her parents are now way overprotective and Becky scolds herself because she should've done better in concealing her injuries. Oh well, at least they haven't discovered her cracked ribs yet.

• When the residents of Fair city found out that WordKnight is indeed real, none of them has a neutral opinion about her. One of Becky's classmates started a fistfight with another classmate who said WordKnight was a hero.

• Getting mugged in Fair city is a minor inconvenience. Like losing your keys in the couch level stuff.

• Most of the police force in Fair city is corrupt, abuses their authority, and is on the criminals' payroll. There's a reason why big mob bosses like Mr Big, Granny May, and Seymour Smooth haven't got arrested yet. Because they pay these cops a decent amount of money to keep quiet, not to mention some of these cops also participate in crimes too. Though the crimes they often commit are small and insignificant. That's why the majority of the police hate WordKnight, despite her being able to keep the crime rate in the city from getting above 40% (even then, the crimes are still really bad). She actually arrests these criminals, and so no money for the corrupt cops.

• There's a literal electric kaiju just roaming the city, her name's Maria and no one seems to care.

• Becky knows several martial arts. Of course she does, how can she be a precise weapon if she doesn't? But her main go to martial arts are Krav Maga, Sistema, and Ninjutsu.

• There have been times when Becky contemplated ending the lives of the big criminals in the city. After all, they have killed many, many people without remorse or guilt just for their benefit. Wouldn't it be fair if she kills them too? Wouldn't that make the city safer? It's not like they're innocent. The fewer criminals, the more safe this city is right? But every time she comes near to ending their lives, she just... Couldn't.. she doesn't know why, she'd be holding them in a position that could easily break their bones if she adds more pressure. She'd use moves and forms that would be very fatal if she wasn't holding back. She could have her sai right on her opponent's exposed neck, or right above their heart. All she needs is to give a little push for the blade of the sai to break their skin and make them bleed, but she couldn't... She didn't...

• ₮ⱧɆ ₣Ɇ₳Ɽ ł₦ ₮ⱧɆłⱤ ɆɎɆ₴ ₳ⱠⱠ ⱠØØ₭ ₴Ø ₣₳₥łⱠł₳Ɽ. ₩ⱧɆⱤɆ Ⱨ₳₴ ₴ⱧɆ ₴ɆɆ₦ ₮ⱧØ₴Ɇ ₣Ɇ₳Ɽ₣ɄⱠ ⱠØØ₭₴ ฿Ɇ₣ØⱤɆ. Ⱨ₳₴ ₴ⱧɆ ₮₳₭Ɇ₦ ₳₦Ø₮ⱧɆⱤ Ⱡł₣Ɇ ฿Ɇ₣ØⱤɆ? ₩ⱤØ₦₲₩ⱤØ₦₲₩ⱤØ₦₲₩ⱤØ₦₲—

• In the end Becky would just give up. It didn't feel right. So she would just roughen them up some more before thoroughly knocking them out, tying them up and leaving them for the police to take care of. Even if the police are corrupt, they'll put them in jail cells. She makes sure of it.

• Captain Huggyface doesn't come out to the field with WordKnight, instead he stays in their base of operations acting as a one-man communication operator for her. He notifies WordKnight of all the planned crimes that are going to happen at night, such as robberies, trafficking rings, drug dealing, ransoms, all of them. He also hacks into cameras, and databases to get information. Not that WordKnight couldn't do it herself, but it's always handy to have some assistance.

• Becky's pretty satisfied with her life right now. Even if she has to fight criminals every night, and get injured on a daily basis. But she's fine, she does wish that Huggy would just tell her what happened at the lab already, but he's pretty adamant about keeping quiet when it comes to Lexicon laboratory. It bugs her to no end but she gets it, he doesn't want to talk about it. After all, she'll inevitably find out one day. Right now the best she can do is hang out with her family, and her friends, and keep the city safe at night. (Even if her methods are questionable)

design's kind of iffy right now but I'll improve it.

hope you can enjoy this prompt. Obviously there are still a lot of things I have to work on, I'll try my best. If you're dissapointed by this, then I'm sorry, worldbuilding and writing has never been my forte.

• Subject X-21c was successful. The first clone Lexicon Laboratory has ever made. She doesn't have any complications so far, and if there were... Well, they can take care of that. Now all they need to focus on is to raise her in the right direction and they'll have the perfect weapon they wanted. She'll be an excellent killing machine in the battleground.

#Wordgirl #becky botsford #captain huggyface #Prompts #Vigilante au #I'm working on some of the villains right now

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eponymous-rose · 2 years

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Please don’t reblog, thanks!

[cw: parental death, cancer, grief - nothing new or concerning about me, just working through some stuff!]

I still don’t really feel equal to reflecting on Mom’s death, to the point where I regret that I haven’t been able to offer support to the truly heartbreaking number of friends who went through the same thing in the year and a half since it happened to me.

But I was thinking today about how my dad mentioned in passing that his and Mom’s song was “My Romance”, which is an old standard. I don’t even know the origin of the song, or the context in which it was first performed, but the general gist is that the singer progresses through a list of elaborate and/or expensive things that their romance does not need: “My romance doesn’t need a castle rising in Spain/Nor a dance to a constantly surprising refrain”. In fact, the signer continues, the only thing their romance needs “is you”.

But one line in particular keeps getting stuck in my head lately, the climax of the song: “Wide awake, I can make my most fantastic dreams come true.”

Mom and Dad were realists in their relationship - it was both of their second marriages after disastrous first marriages, both were in their late thirties, and both were going in with eyes open. My mom in particular was aggressively practical - when she was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer in February of 2020, she privately told Dad that she’d read the statistics and knew that one in five husbands left their wives after that kind of diagnosis, and she didn’t want to cause him the kind of suffering sticking around would involve. She told me later that Dad very earnestly told her that it would be the greatest honor of his life to stand by her side to see this through. I don’t think any of us knew how horribly fast things would progress - in five months, she was gone - but in that time there wasn’t a day he wasn’t at her side, and she said her goodbyes to everyone the day before she died so that last morning would belong to the two of them alone. It wasn’t just a great love, it was a deep and abiding friendship underneath the passion. Respect and a joyful sense of responsibility to each other.

And I think I truly appreciate now what a terrible, wonderful honor it is to be the recipient of that kind of unconditional love. Everything that I am comes with that beautiful gift, and I can only hope to be brave enough to recognize it and continue to express it to everyone I care about.

I’d experienced a few different flavors of grief before this one - my very close grandparents, a good friend, childhood pets, a difficult aunt. But this was all-consuming, and it took me a while to work out why. We all become slightly different (or very different!) people around others in our lives - the you of the workplace isn’t the you of childhood friends, that kind of thing. And who I was with Mom was a reflection of her in so many ways, and that version of me was someone I liked very, very much, and that version of me was instantly annihilated.

So was a complex grieving process for all sorts of different things in my life - not only was I grieving my mom, I was grieving the version of myself I could only be around her. I could parcel off little pieces and bring them to light in my other relationships, but the whole was irrevocably shattered. And I was grieving the loss of a kind of innocence with regard to mortality, grappling with the realization that, in a very real way that has nothing to do with fate or destiny and everything to do with cold biology, some of us already have it written in our blood and our organs and our bones how and when we’re going to die.

I was deeply, unfathomably fortunate in that my relationship with my mom was uncomplicated, with no dark secrets, and that nothing was left unsaid in our last perfect goodbye. And also that my brother and my dad and I are just as close as before, but also capable of separating to give each other space to heal and work out who we’re going to be now that such a large piece has been torn from each of us.

So I rode out the darker moments with the help of dear friends, I supported others where I could, and I still walk every single night through dreams where it’s my family without Mom, or it’s my family with Mom, or my Mom isn’t dead but dying. And every one of those dreams, inexplicably, brings peace. When I have sleep paralysis episodes (very rarely these days!) it’s not a demon but a laughing figure in the doorway, teasing me for sleeping in.

And slowly, inexorably, I’ve started feeling good again. I can’t be who I was to her, but I can be the person she saw in the ways that really matter. She used to tell me she lived vicariously through my adventures, and I’ve had so many adventures: standing on the grass at Cape Canaveral during a space shuttle launch, watching a temple sink underwater with fireflies all around, stepping into a ballroom 300 meters under the earth where the chandeliers are made of salt crystals, moving to new city after new city after new city and reinventing myself along the way. And this new job, this absurd new job, is just going to get bigger and stranger and more and more exciting. There will be no shortage of adventures, big and small, not as something to fruitlessly, frustratingly pursue, but as giddy, wonderful side-effects of the act of living.

Wide awake, I can make my most fantastic dreams come true.

#eponymous family tag #grief cw #parent death cw #cancer cw

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clairenatural · 4 years

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destiel, 1.9k, post-series human!cas. this isn’t fully angst but it is me addressing castiel’s trauma since the writers never will. hurt/comfort-esque. cw for the stuff he went through at the beginning of s9. also: stargazing.

Castiel’s grace burns up when they pull him out of the Empty, but he doesn’t care—he doesn’t even notice, really, not when Dean is clinging to him, and kissing him like he needs him to breathe, and filling the gap his grace left with a love that feels even more holy.

It hits him halfway back to the bunker, when he’s riding shotgun and Sam is asleep in the backset and a passing streetlight bathes Dean’s freckles in yellow-gold. He’s been in love with Dean Winchester as a human before, and it was overwhelming, all mixed up in guilt and panic and a bone-deep betrayal he’s been trying to forget. But this time—this time is different, right? This time…it’s okay. It has to be. He’s not quite sure what he’s allowed, just yet, but he takes the risk anyway and reaches out for Dean across the bench seat. Dean meets him half way, catching his hand with his own, and it calms Castiel’s newly-human heart.

He wakes up the next morning, in Dean’s bed, and he’s forgotten how nice sleep is. Real, human sleep, on an actual mattress—memory foam, he remembers Dean proclaiming, excited. It’ll remember you now, too. He tries not to remember the concrete floor of the gas station, and his cold, thin sleeping bag, because now—now, he’s warm. He reaches out for Dean, who is still asleep but moves on instinct, lifting an arm so Castiel can curl up against him. He lets his bones sink into the warmth of Dean, the comfort of the mattress. He tries to remind himself he’ll never sleep on a storage room floor again.

He stays in bed even longer than Dean, which Dean calls impressive when he returns to the bedroom with coffee. Castiel plays it off as being exhausted, which is true, but he’s also trying to commit the feeling of the mattress to memory.

When he drains his coffee and finally decides to go brush his teeth, he stares for a long time at the toothpaste tube. Long enough that Dean comes looking. He leans against the bathroom door with a smile, raising an eyebrow at the sight. “It’s not gonna bite you,” he starts, and pushes off the doorframe to walk closer. “You have done this before, right? You know—last time?”

Castiel blinks and then nods. It’s just toothpaste. “You know, the first time I did this, I—” he pauses to smile, attempting levity. “I squeezed the tube directly into my mouth,” he chuckles then, trying to joke at his helplessness, and he thinks Dean will too—and he does smile, eventually, but not before a look halfway between guilt and grief crosses his face. Castiel isn’t meant to catch it, but he does—he sees all of Dean. He knows every expression better than he knows his own.

Dean doesn’t respond to his toothpaste comment, but he does wrap his arms around Castiel’s middle from behind, more securely than the situation demands, and he hooks his chin over Castiel’s shoulder with a hum. Castiel stares at the whole picture in the mirror, himself and Dean and his toothbrush, and he can’t help but smile when Dean brings a hand up to brush his thumb across his cheek. “You’re already gettin’ peach fuzz,” he murmurs. “Remind me to teach you to shave sometime.”

The smile falls as something thick settles in the pit of Castiel’s stomach. He remembers stumbling his way through a razor. “Oh. I, um. I taught myself.” The last time is unsaid.

“Oh.” Dean’s arms loosen around his waist, and the stricken look is back. “That’s—awesome.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Castiel turns his head to try and look at him, but Dean is already stepping away. “I’ll let you get to it,” he mumbles, and claps Castiel on the shoulder as he leaves the bathroom.

He watches Dean leave, then stares at the empty doorway for a few long seconds before turning back to his toothbrush. His hands are shaking as he squeezes out the toothpaste.

When he wanders into the kitchen a few minutes later Dean is waiting for him, armed with more coffee and a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon, and he grabs Castiel by the shoulder and guides him into a seat at the table before sliding in across from him. He’s smiling—he’s eager—and it’s such a tone shift that Castiel briefly wonders if a witch snuck into the bunker while he was brushing his teeth.

But he knows this. He’s seen it before, with Sam—how Dean will set a meal down in front of him in the library and won’t leave until he takes a bite, waiting for approval. It’s love.

“Dean, you didn’t have to—”

“Yeah, I did,” he cuts him off in a tone that’s not unkind, but is final. “Wanna take care of you,” he shrugs and covers up the intimacy of that statement by reaching over to steal a slice of bacon, and Castiel hears the I love you buried under all the layers, so he smiles and eats. Predictably, it’s delicious.

“This is much better than molecules,” he commends, because he knows Dean’s waiting for it, and Dean grins and it’s beautiful and all the weirdness of the morning is forgotten.

They talk, and they eat, and they laugh, but when Dean clears the dishes he sits back at the table with a much more serious expression. “Alright, come on. What do you want to know?”

Castiel raises his eyebrows. “About…?”

“Being human.”

Oh.

He doesn’t know how to respond to that. He’s already stumbled through all the basic human functions, albeit clumsily, and he’s trying to figure out a way to explain to Dean that being homeless gives you a painful crash course on how to survive without putting that sad expression back on his face when he realizes Dean is still talking.

“Listen, Cas. I know I fucked up last time, alright? Big time. I should’ve been there to teach you to brush your teeth, and shave, and—and tie your freakin’ shoelaces, and I can’t take that back now, okay? But maybe I can—I don’t know. Do it better, this time. I know you already got most of it figured out, but I could—”

“Dean, it’s alright.” He reaches out to place his hand over one of Dean’s, which he’s been fidgeting on the table. “I forgive you.” Dean looks up, then, and they make eye contact, and Castiel does forgive him. Of course he does. There was never another option.

Dean breaks the eye contact but he moves his other hand on top of Castiel’s and squeezes. “Yeah, well. Doesn’t mean it’s okay,” he grumbles, and Castiel loves him for that.

“You can teach me to cook,” He offers, after a moment, and Dean looks up at him with a genuine smile. “I never got much further than PB&J.”

“Hell yeah,” Dean is already standing. “Come on, let’s go.”

Castiel blinks up at him. “Go?”

“To the store,” Dean rolls his eyes, as if this was obvious. “I ain’t gonna teach you to cook with whatever we have lying around.”

He’s already off before Castiel can clarify he just wants to start with grilled cheese. Dean buys the fanciest cheddar in the store anyway.

Castiel manages to burn it on both sides.

“I’m sorry,” he stares down at the mess, mournfully, and manages to look pitiful enough that Dean picks up the blackened sandwich to take a bite anyway. He grimaces when Dean chokes on it, but he’s trying so hard to not visibly react that it makes Castiel’s heart warm, and by the time Dean finally gets the lump washed down with beer, he’s staring at him with a wry smile.

“I've fed Sam worse,” is his only comment, and Castiel can’t help but huff out a laugh, and then Dean is grinning back, setting the plate down, and reaching out to pull him close. “Tomorrow we’ll tackle spaghetti.”

Castiel scoffs. “Do you enjoy burnt tomato sauce?”

“Sure do.” Dean tilts his head down, and Castiel meets him in the middle. He tastes like burnt toast, but Castiel smiles against his lips and grins into the space between them when they separate to lean their foreheads together. “What’s next, Cas?”

“Teach me how to drive.”

Dean pulls back farther, surprised. “You can drive.”

“Not well.”

Dean snorts, then sighs. “Yeah, sure. Tomorrow though, alright? It’s getting dark.”

Castiel considers him for a moment, then nods. “Then drive me somewhere. I want to see the stars like this. Human.”

Dean hums and presses a kiss to his forehead. “That we can do.”

He misses the contact as soon as Dean steps back, but then Dean takes his hand and leads him into the garage, only letting go long enough to climb into the car. They drive through the sunset until the stars are peeking out, and Dean pulls onto the shoulder by a field far enough outside town to avoid all light pollution. He climbs onto the hood and Castiel follows, sitting close enough that their shoulders brush.

Castiel can feel Dean staring at him but doesn’t look back, not yet—he’s staring straight up, at the stars. He misses them, aches for them like he aches for his wings, but he also feels warm in their presence. The stars are solid. They are unyielding. They are trustworthy.

“How you feeling, Cas?” Dean asks after a moment, quietly, not loud enough to disturb the silence. Castiel hums before responding.

“Small.” He feels Dean shift, leaning into his shoulder.

“Small?” He questions, and he can hear that Dean’s worried. He shouldn’t be.

“Small,” Castiel confirms, tearing his gaze from the night sky to smile warmly back at Dean. “Back then—” last time “—it was terrifying, being this small. I thought I was going to drown. The stars were out of reach. I longed for them.”

“And now?” Dean has shifted, angling himself so he’s facing Castiel.

“The stars are out of reach, but they’re still there. And you are also still here,” this time, “and you are not out of reach.” Anymore. Ever again. He reaches out for Dean’s face, stroking his thumb along his cheekbone. “I’m small. But we’re small together. And that makes it alright.”

Dean stares at him like he does sometimes, like if he blinks Castiel might disappear, and then he leans forward and kisses him like that first time, like if he stops he’ll forget how to breathe. He pushes Castiel down onto the hood of the car and doesn’t break for air until the metal groans under the pressure. When he backs off, then, it’s still not far—not out of reach.

“What’s next, Cas?” he asks, and Castiel knows what he’s asking. And that’s the thing—the biggest thing—he wants to forget about last time.

He looks up at Dean, who looks like he’s holding his breath. He thinks maybe he can still let Dean teach him that, too, if he wants him to. He thinks he does want him to.

“Let’s go home,” he replies, finally, and Dean breaks into a grin before the words are fully out of his mouth, “and you can show me.”

#destiel fic #deancas fic #human!cas #destiel #deancas #my words #9x03 #i still haven't forgiven dean for how he treated cas at the beginning of s9 #so im gonna write him making up for it to make myself feel better #someday I will once again post smth not at 2am #over 1k words

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greenygreenland · 3 years

Text

Fireflies: Morro x Reader

-i was originally writing this on a whim but saw a request and was like, okay this fits PERFECTLY for that request, so here ya go -okay don’t judge me but I think Morro’s cool -banc is some random guy i made up just now lmaooo -you’re an elemental master and Morro’s childhood friend because yeahhhh

Summary: Humans are insignificant, tiny beings. Your time is drawing near and you’re sure your life was a waste.

Dreams were powerful. They became the very thing that drove people to the edge. But they were also the very thing that drove people forward, and taught them to keep looking up in the dark. When you were young, you used to wish upon a star. You used to lay awake at night, staring at the ceiling in thought.

Now, you couldn’t. Your breaths began to slow, your eyes fluttered open and closed. This was the final blow. Your final stand. Was it really okay to be out here all alone? At least you had the stars and the moon to keep you company. They had lit your way and guided you to your target. If it weren’t for those tiny little specks above, you wouldn’t have completed the stupid mission.

Sometimes you wondered if things could have been different. Before you left the monastery, you should have given Morro a tighter hug, a longer smile, a bigger laugh. You should have told your sensei how much you adored having him around, how much you admired and respected him for what he did. You should have sent another letter to Garmadon and written about how boring it was without having him around.

There were so many things left unsaid. Unwritten. Forgotten. Why didn’t you cling tighter to them?

“(Y/n)!”

Your breath hitched. Was that...?

“(Y/N)!”

You let out a strangled wheeze. “M-Morro...” The grass parted around you and swished with the breeze. He collapsed by your side, heaving and mumbling under his breath. “What happened?” he demanded. “Where were you?! We captured that guy, but then you just disappeared!” Morro didn’t even try to hide the fear in his voice as he ripped his sleeve and tied it around your wounds.

The man you were trying to catch was a serial killer. You thought he was some lowly idiot, but it turned out he had an entourage of killing machines. He experimented on them, and that gave them abilities no normal people should possessed. “Morro...” You winced. “Leave. That guy, he...he has these people who...”

“Just shut up.” His was holding back tears. “You aren’t dying on me, and even if that guy had backup, you bet Sensei won’t have trouble taking them out. I’m bringing you home, so don’t you dare sleep on me.” You intertwined your bloody hand with his. “Morro, please. Go.” He clenched his teeth.

“No!” His voice came out harsh, but you knew it was good-natured. “I’m not leaving you! Not again.” You turned to stare at the starry sky. What was Morro referring to? Whatever it was felt like so long ago--or was that just your hazy memory? No, you had incredible memory.

“(Y/n), stay awake!”

You were sleepy. The stars were beginning to fade, along with Morro’s beautiful eyes glazed over with tears. Fireflies rose from the grass, fluttering past your view in little specks of light. You wondered what it felt like to be so free and insignificant. They had no responsibilities, no nothing save for living.

What did that feel like?

“Hey...” you whispered. “Remember that time you...helped me up...after I...after I scraped my knee?” Morro squeezed your hand, but it was like he hadn’t at all. Your limbs were numb in pain.

“What are you talking about?” he demanded. “Save your strength--”

You laughed and it was melancholy and broken and sad and all the things Morro wished he never heard. This wasn’t you. It wasn’t what he wanted for you. The sky was blurring in a mix of pale moonlight and scattered dots of stars. You thought back to that day, the one where you had scrapped your knee.

Blood gushed out of the tattered skin. You winced, wishing with bitter regret that you hadn’t overstepped your attack. It wouldn’t have happened if you were paying more attention, but how could you when Morro was so attractively distracting?

He glanced at you from over his shoulder and paused. “Hold on,” he told his sparring partner. You blew on the open wound. Maybe it would help ease the pain, you weren’t sure. “First Spinjitzu Master, urgh.”

Morro knelt by your side, eyes all soft and warm. “You’re such a clutz sometimes.” You huffed. “I wouldn’t be if you weren’t so freaking...” Heat rose to your cheeks, reddening them like apples. There was no way you’d openly admit he made you trip over your own two feet.

“’So freaking’ what?” he inquired, raising a brow. Your rosy cheeks darkened and Morro let out a bright laugh. “Wait here.” He stood and hurried inside the monastery. His sparring partner, Banc, sent you big thumbs up. You rolled your eyes at him and threw your scabbard at him. He easily caught it with a smirk grin.

“When are you going to tell him?”

You raised a brow. “Tell him what?”

“That you like him.” Banc said it like it was the mot obvious thing in all of Ninjago, but it wasn’t like he was wrong. Sensei Wu saw it, Garmadon saw it, everyone saw it. What a miracle it would be if it was a secret, or at least a quiet thing.

“Morro’s the only one who doesn’t realise it.” you muttered. Banc rolled his eyes. “Then tell him! I’ll go insane if you keep your mouth shut for another day.” The Monastery doors opened and Morro jogged out with a wet handkerchief and a bandage. “I don’t mean to keep you guys waiting,” he said, “but this is important.”

“To you.” Banc jested. Morro rolled his eyes playfully. He knelt back by your side and gently wiped the wound. “(Y/n) could die if the wound gets infected, so it’s important anyway.” You snorted. “A wound’s not going to kill me.”

“It very well could if one is not careful.”

You turned to look at the open doors. Sensei waltzed out, bamboo staff in one hand and straw hat in the other. His bag, heavy around his shoulders, was big and filled with as much stuff as he could fit. You wondered if it was because of tea or scrolls. “Are you going somewhere?”

He nodded. “I’m afraid so. In the mean time, I hope you all come to realise what’s hidden under the surface. Whether it be hidden feelings,” he cast you a knowing look, “or personal progression. Keep the Monastery tidy and please don’t forget to pickle the vegetables. I’d hate not to have any pickled radish without my rice.”

You all shared a good-natured chuckle. Morro wrapped your knee in a bandage and turned to glance at Sensei with curious eyes. They sparkled like the clouds in the rising sunlight, just like little nuggets of gold. “What do you mean by ‘hidden feelings’?” Sensei smiled warmly. “You will have to find that out on your own. I’ll be off now, you will see me in seven days’ time.”

The moment Sensei disappeared down the front steps and Banc had closed the doors tight, silence fell over you three. Banc kept looking at you with that stupid grin of his and you had to admit, it was getting annoying. Whenever Morro turned his back to you, he motioned for you to tell him.

An hour passed, then five and six. The sun began to set along the horizon, and that was when Banc decided it was high time you fulfilled your task.

“Morro,” Banc announced. “(Y/n) has something to tell you.”

At the foot of the mountain, you lay in a large field. Morro was on your right, and Banc on your left. The fireflies that flitted past your vision were as bright as the stars, maybe even brighter. A single one landed on your nose and Morro couldn’t help but think about how beautiful you were in that moment.

“What do you want to tell me?” he inquired. You stared at the lone firefly, cheeks a dim red in its glow. “Uh...it’s...it’s nothing.”

“Are you sure? Banc looks like he wants to yell at you.” he said with a chuckle. The firefly launched off your nose and joined its family in a swarm of bright specks of light.

“Okay, okay. Maybe I do have something to say. It’s just that I...uh...I...”

A soft smile rested upon your lips. “You didn’t...didn’t forget that day...did you?” Morro touched his forehead to yours. His tears glistened in the moonlight and touched your cheeks like a misty morning drizzle. “No,” he whispered. “Of course I didn’t forget. How...how could I?”

You released one of his hands and shakily placed it on his damp cheeks. This was it, nothing else could stop time and save you from your last moments. No magic, no element, no god would or could come to your aid. But that was okay. As long as you Morro stayed right here in these moments, you’d be happy.

Happy. What a funny word.

“I...I don’t want to die.” Your voice cracked and Morro didn’t ignore it. “I don’t want you to die either.”

“What...what will...happen when I’m dead?” Morro heaved in a sharp breath and shook his head. “You won’t die,” --he chocked back a sob-- “I won’t let you.” That was a lie. Even though he didn’t want you to die, how could he save you? Morro was the Master of Wind, not death or resurrection. There wasn’t anything to do, no matter what he said.

“When...when I’m gone...promise you’ll...move on?”

A look of horror snapped through his eyes, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of ever having to let you go. It wasn’t what he did. How could he when you were his light, his life? If you hadn’t been around, then he would have died trying to prove Destiny wrong.

“I...I love you Morro.”

“I love you more.” He pulled you close into the security of his arms and hugged you tight. “But please, please don’t go.” You smiled again with the last of your strength. It was all you could do when the world was fading, blurring into dots and colours.

You shut your eyes. Your hand went limp.

Morro stilled and tightened his hold on your dead body. Fireflies flew past him in glowing paths of specks. A single firefly landed on your nose, illuminating the dried splatter of blood on your cheeks. In that moment, he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you were.

“I love you (Y/n). I love you more than anything in Ninjago.”

REBLOG so this can reach more people (and therefore support me, the creator!) TIP JAR <---

#morro x reader #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago x reader #lego ninjago x reader #lego #morro ninjago #ninjago morro

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sidespromptblog · 3 years

Text

Locked

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Logan is insecure, Crying (Almost), and Angst.

Summary: After Patton skips him, Logan locks himself away in his room as the doubts about their friendship start to overwhelm him. Why had Patton done that? Had he wanted to do it all along? Was it just better this way? Should he just stop talked? Should he just...

AO3 LINK

Word Count: 3305

The door slammed shut much harder than he had meant for it to, but be that as it may… Logan couldn’t bring himself to care about that as he sank heavily into the chair next to his desk. Tossing his glasses onto his desk, he held his face in his hands trying desperately to calm the shaking that started in his shoulders and traveled all the way through his entire body. He wasn’t crying, but right now he honestly wished that he could at least get that kind of relief right now. Instead, there was only a deep well of sadness that only seemed to get bigger and bigger with each passing moment, he didn’t like it. At least with tears, it was only temporary, but this feeling… it felt like it could go on forever.

“It’s not fair…” Logan couldn’t help but to whisper in a way that almost sounded like a whimper, his bottom lip trembled uncontrollably, and yet no tears. “Why.. he…” He honestly could not believe what Patton had done this time, he’d already expected it from Roman when he had chosen ignorance over Logan informing him. But for Patton to… to just let Janus come in and pull him out and replace him, just because he didn’t want to listen to him. Patton… who had seemed so worried when Janus had first taken his place before. “It’s not fair…” He repeated with a mumble, as he dragged his fingers through his hair messing up his usually neat and presentable hair.

He didn’t care right now, now was not the time to be neat and presentable.

He could allow himself this at least, to dwell in this.. this...

Betrayal.

Yes, that was an apt term for what had happened between him and Patton. Whether the other side chose to acknowledge it or not, Patton had… betrayed his trust as well as his feelings by choosing to silence him. Ordinarily, he could understand that due to heightened emotions Patton could do weird things, but it was the fact that when he had chosen to confront him about it in front of Thomas he had… tried to do damage control. Which as responsible as that sounded, only made him feel as if he were like a child being placated, and like he didn’t deserve an apology for what had been done.

Did he though?

Doubt curled its ugly unease around Logan, making him slump even more in the chair as he ran his hands back over his face before eventually just covering up his eyes. He knew that he could be a lot to handle sometimes, and that his many many facts could sometimes be annoying to handle well all of the time if their reactions were anything to go by. Oftentimes his input wasn’t exactly wanted, especially when it came to things with emotion. Even things involving stuff like philosophy or psychology seemed boring for the others, more so when it seemed to come from him of all sides. Even his history facts…

But Patton had always assured him that he wanted to hear him.

The doubt in his mind grew stronger, “Was he…” The word lying stuck on his tongue like a barb, as his heart clenched painfully in his chest. For the first time since he’d come back to his room, tears welled up in his eyes misting over everything in sight.

It didn’t make him feel any better.

He probably was.

After all, if Patton had lied about his own emotions multiple times then there was no reason to assume that he hadn’t lied about things like this to all of them. It wasn’t wrong to assume that… he perhaps didn’t even like him, or maybe even that.. that he had just been humoring Logan until he grew too annoyed to bother putting up with him anymore. That he had finally reached his breaking point, and Logan just so happened to be the kind and cheerful side’s breaking point. It wasn’t an impossible thing to assume, but after Patton had dealt with both Remus and Janus… for Logan to be his breaking point kind of hurt more than a little.

Was he really so unlikable?

Probably…

God, why hadn’t he listened before when the others had told him to shut up? Probably his pride, he was too arrogant and far too self-absorbed.

And he had called Roman conceited…

Logan raked his fingers through his hair again, tangling his messy hair even further. “Maybe I should just start being quiet…” He muttered dourly, even though deep down… he knew that it wouldn’t be enough. Just being quiet wouldn’t work considering the damage he’d already done to everyone around him. “Maybe I sh-”

A quick series of knocks pattered on Logan’s door, and just as quickly as it had started the words quickly died in the logical side’s throat.

“Logan.” Janus’ cool and calm voice called from the other side of the door, he couldn’t have been standing more than a few inches away from the wood that separated them. It was just one word and his name at that, it shouldn’t have been so startling. And yet, despite that calmness that always seemed to accompany Janus’ tone, Logan couldn’t help but to detect… something else. “Logan, may I come in?”

It was... worry?

Even so, Logan fought the urge to sigh heavily at the request. Here, was the one person who had not only taken his place at Patton’s unspoken and unsaid request… but the person who seemed to delight in calling him out on all of the lies that he constantly told himself. He wasn’t exactly the kind of person that Logan really wanted to have over for tea, much less invite him into his room when he was already feeling vulnerable and on the verge of tears. But… it wasn’t like he could deny the request, should someone need him he was always to be there for them. Whether it be someone like Janus, or one of the other sides he had grown up around. He was to be there for them, and to offer them logical assistance. And maybe Janus needed that.

Or to just rub it in his face about how Patton had chosen to have lies rather than the truth.

“What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” Deceit smirked at Logan in that knowing way of his, as if he knew that further down the line of what was to come. Or maybe because he just knew of the lies that constantly rattled off of Logan’s tongue, or the lies that just stayed inside his head constantly tormenting him.

“Logan?”

Another sigh rattled out of the side in question, before he painstakingly combed his tangled hair back with his fingers in an effort to get some kind of neatness back before Janus could see.

“Do what you want Janus,” Logan called out from his desk, turning back to it to give the semblance that he had been doing some kind of work. His desk was a mess though, there would be no getting that past Janus. He attempted to neaten up a little, his shaking fingers plucking up different papers as he organized them into little stacks that hardly felt as organized as he wanted it to be. Although the light trembling of his entire body certainly didn’t help manners any, his inner turmoil certainly hadn’t gone away just because Janus had shown up. “Come in.” He muttered, half expecting the other side to just have left at the sound of the attitude clearly ringing in Logan’s voice.

But hearing the sound of the knob of his door turning before it creaked open made the logical side turn his head a little, the streak of light from the hallway made his eyes burn a little. Although that could have just been from the fact that he had forgotten to put his glasses back on in his haste, as well as the fact that his eyes had been completely adjusted to the darkness of his own bedroom.

But even so, there Janus stood. With his caplet draped casually over his arm and his head held in his hands, letting Logan see his smooth wavy hair that stuck up from the friction of his hat. His gloves had even been tucked away into the back pocket of his pants, letting Logan get the tiniest glimpse of the scales that gleamed like glass on his wrists. He looked…

Casual.

Suspiciously so.

If he hadn’t been before then the smile that came from the other most certainly sealed it. “Thank you for seeing me,” Janus carefully said as he walked from the door to Logan’s bed. Tossing his caplet onto the blankets Janus took a seat without even bothering to ask, instead just crossing his legs as he stared back at the logical side for a good long moment. “I was worried that you wouldn’t for a moment, or that you’d just turn me away… I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Why?”

Janus blinked at the question, “Because I took your place to-”

“I mean why are you here right now?” Logan didn’t feel that bad about interrupting him, if anything he almost deserved it after how he had been interrupted today. “There’s no logical reason for you to be. You got what you wanted, didn’t you?” He’d hurt him, or in the very least he’d assisted Patton in hurting him. That skip button hadn’t come out of nowhere, and neither had that cane that had hooked him.

But then again… maybe Janus had sensed what Patton secretly wanted but couldn’t say to Logan. Janus had always known the secrets that they’d all kept hidden, and… Patton not liking him and wanting him to just shut up was something that Janus could most certainly help with now as well as in the future. Janus even made logical arguments, so it wasn’t a stretch to say that he could even deliver some arguments in a way that wouldn’t bore the others too. Patton…

Patton even seemed to like him.

Janus cleared his throat, and just like that Logan’s mind had been dragged back to the present.

“I just wanted to let you know,” Janus slowly began, as he fidgeted with the hat in his hands. “That I’m not good at this whole… being a vulnerable and truthful person kind of thing, but you deserve... to know the truth.” Janus lamely finished, looking like he was going to say something else before finally ending his words. “It’s not easy, especially since I’m so used to lying all of the time. But…”

Logan just stared back tiredly, wondering when it would all be over so that he could just bury himself in work and sleep, so that he could forget this whole day ever happened to begin with.

“Your doubts and your fears about Patton are unfounded.” Janus finally snapped, the words coming out in one massive rush as if in fear of waiting any longer would stop them from coming at all. But even so, it didn’t stop the emotions that were clearly shining in the dishonest side’s face. As he gripped his hat tighter and tighter, until his knuckles had turned white. “He does not find you annoying, because you are not annoying. He does not want your silence.”

I don’t want your silence.

The words were unspoken, and yet Logan heard them all the same.

But it still did little to alleviate the pain that had already sunk deep in his chest, while it was nice that Patton apparently felt this way… actions had more a louder call than words did. And Patton’s actions… they stung like a slap to the fact that would bruise for months to come, and even so.. even then he wasn’t sure he could trust that Patton wouldn’t do it again.

It had hurt.

A tired sigh fell from his lips, “Is it you or Patton that’s saying that?” He finally asked, as he finally allowed his shoulders to droop from the exhaustion he had felt from the day. There was no hiding his emotions from Janus, the side could see through whatever front he put up effortlessly, so there was no point in hiding anymore…

There never really was.

A mixture of emotions darted over Janus’ face, “Both… both of us Logan.” He softly whispered, the look of regret and sorrow unfolding as his gaze took in all of the emotions that were freely being shown on the logical side’s face. “I’m sorry…” He honestly said, agony curling into him like a white-hot fire as Logan closed his eyes at the simple two-letter words that had left the dishonest side’s mouth.

“Clearly,” Logan began, not callously but logically. “Otherwise I doubt you would have made the effort to come here. But…” He took in a deep breath, steadying himself for what he was about to say. “It changes nothing.” He had to put his foot down, at least this one time… he was tired of this, so very tired. “I am tired Janus, I am tired of what keeps happening to me. I had learned to accept it from some of the others at this point, as just ‘teasing’. But this… this is the last straw for me.” It hurt to say, but.. but he had to take care of himself first before he could even think about what Patton’s actions might’ve meant if it didn’t mean he was annoyed with him. “I am taking this for myself.”

There was a moment of silence between them, and when Logan finally opened his eyes he didn’t really see what he had expected to see from Janus. Maybe some anger, some more worry, or even some annoyance at the way that Logan had chosen to go. He wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to react to the calm understanding that was reflected back in Janus’ eyes, as if… it had been something that the serpentine side was acutely familiar with.

But even so, Janus slowly nodded. “Are you going to duck out?” He carefully asked.

Logan couldn’t fault him for the question, it was a very valid one especially considering that Virgil had done the same exact thing months prior. But that wouldn’t solve anything, it would just be running away and waiting for the others to chase after him and show him that they care after so long of… everything. And while it was tempting and so very.. very nice sounding… he wouldn’t do that to them. Seeing how Thomas had been affected by Virgil’s absence had been enough to assure himself that even if he had the opportunity to, he wouldn’t. It wouldn’t solve the baseline problem anyways.

It would just make the others feel guilty about boundaries that they didn’t know existed for Logan.

“No,” He easily answered, and he watched as Janus relaxed clearly sensing the lack of a lie in Logan’s statement. “I will continue to do my work as Thomas’ logic, and be good at it. But.. I am tired, and…” He looked over to the messy stacks of papers on his desk that he had tried to organize before Janus had come in, there was so much he needed to clean and work on. “I think that I need some time away from the others, and… some time to think about myself and how I stand with them.” Logically he knew.. he knew that they had never done anything out of any pure malice or hateful intent. Logan was just… well he was weird and he was odd at times, so there was no reason for them not to comment on it. Especially since he’d never told them not to, he should have put up clear boundaries of what he was okay with and what he wasn’t. But even so…

It didn’t stop the hurt.

A chilly hand squeezed his own, and looking down to his lap Logan saw that Janus had reached across the distance to bridge the gap between them. “Take however long that you need to,” Janus murmured, although knowing entirely that he had no say in the matter. “I am glad that you are taking this, and doing this.” Logan would never see him making a fuss about taking some self-preservation for himself, more of the sides needed to do what Logan was doing. Better late than never, anyways. “I wish you the best of luck, and…” As Janus stood from his spot at Logan’s bed, making his way towards the door. He stopped as soon as he laid his hair on the brass doorknob. “I hope that when you come back, I can make a better opportunity at being your friend.”

With that being said, Janus opened the door and walked out leaving Logan to his rest. The hammering of his heart had quieted almost as soon as the lies that had been surrounding Logan’s mind had faded into nothingness. He had been scared for a moment, that Logan would duck out just as Virgil did, but this time they’d have a much harder time of getting Logan back.

He hadn’t been the only one that was worried.

“Is he okay?” Patton softly asked from the couch, the stuffed animal that was being squeezed to death in his arms told Janus just how worried the moral side really was even if he was trying to remain calm. “Should I go up there and talk to him?” Patton fidgeted with the strings of sleeves of his cat hoodie, his leg bouncing up and down as he glanced towards the stairs that Janus had just walked down.

He stilled as soon as Janus raised his hand to stop him. “He is fine right now,” The dishonest side said, as he sat beside Patton comfortably. “But I wouldn’t suggest going to see him, he’s…” Janus struggled to find a way to word it delicately enough to get the feelings across, but without hurting Patton too much in the process. “He was very hurt by your actions, and it’s not a feeling that I think is going to go away anytime soon. You showing up and trying to apologize when he’s not ready… it’s just going to make him feel that hurt so much worse.” Putting his hand on Patton’s shoulder, Janus looked back at the other side’s guilty look. “ I understand your guilt, but showing up before he’s ready will just make him draw away from you even more. Trust me I know this much about forgiveness…” Images of Virgil’s distrustful sneers flashed in his mind, and Janus couldn’t help but to wince at the pain that crackled over his heart. It was always better to wait than to say something you couldn’t take back, because you didn’t wait. “I don’t think he’ll be ready for a while, and I think yo-... We all need to be prepared to wait until he’s ready to come out, not us going to him. ”

As depressed as Patton looked at the prospect of leaving one of the others to stew in their own mental torment, he nodded.

“Okay,” Patton sadly said as he hugged the stuffed animal in his arms tighter, “You’re right… I can’t make him forgive me, and I don’t want him to feel put on the spot. I just.. I just hope that he’ll be okay, I’ll miss him.”

Janus knew, he knew so much about that feeling so much that it physically made him ache on the inside.

He still missed Virgil to this day, even though he saw him almost every day now.

But he’d lost his chance, so the very least he could do was ensure that Virgil and the others didn’t lose theirs with Logan.

He wouldn’t put them through that pain.

Never.

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cozy-the-overlord · 3 years

Text

Masquerade

Part 2 of Cozy’s Fluff-To-Angst Fun and Games

@loki-hargreeves said

Here's a fluffy-ish prompt for you,

Dancing together (anything between ballroom dancing or just dancing in the living room at 2am together) 💚

Summary: It didn’t have to be bad, Loki told himself. His parents were married through such an arrangement, and they were happy together.

He would be happy too.

Word Count: 1,659

Pairing: Loki x OFC

A/N: I feel like if you’ve read any of my other stuff, you’ll know how my favorite trope is childhood friends to lovers. I thought I’d try a twist on that formula. Not sure if it worked, but here you go!

Thanks for reading!

Warnings: None? I think? It’s just Loki being lonely

Tags: @lucywrites02 @silver-lupines @whatafuckingdumbass @the-emo-asgardian @imnotrevealingmyname @electroma89 @lokislittlesigyn @moumouton4 @theredrenard @justdontmindmetm

If you want to be tagged, feel free to send an ask/message :)

Read it on Ao3!

Loki had always loved dancing.

Alfheim balls were a little different from the ones he had grown up attending on Asgard, but the dancing was similar enough. It was a comfort, little scraps of familiarity floating in a frozen sea. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to be swept up in the rhythm.

Rowan was radiant, as always. She laughed as she spun in his arms, the skirt of her dress flaring around her legs in a sparkling golden blur, and when he pulled her closer he found himself laughing too. It was impossible to resist—her smile was infectious.

His wife was a brilliant actress.

Loki hadn’t known what to expect from the arranged marriage laid before him. He had been granted only a month to attempt to straighten his thoughts before being sent away to Alfheim to meet his bride. It didn’t have to be bad, he told himself. His parents were married through such an arrangement, and they were happy together. Happy enough at least. He would be happy too.

And … he could almost feel happy here. Dancing. Drowning in the music. Letting the cacophony of the ballroom wash over him. The two of them swooped across the floor, so smooth they might have been flying, all eyes on them. It almost felt like the life he had always expected to lead.

It almost felt real.

Loki felt lightheaded. Before his wedding, he had never cared for Elven wine, but now he had been finding himself warming up to the drink a little more with each banquet. It made everything seem distant. He liked that.

Rowan twirled again. Her gown was silky green, swathed in gold—his colors, of course. She had been wearing something similar when he first arrived. Really, between the dress and her dark curls, she could have been mistaken for Loki’s sister. It was something Thor had been quick to point out, smacking his shoulder with a boisterous laugh as soon as they stepped off the Bifrost.

Loki missed that laugh. Everything here seemed too quiet. The highlight of his wedding feast had been watching his brother drunkenly frolic his way through the night, challenging men he didn’t know to duels over women he had just met, spilling wine all over himself when a pretty girl brushed up too close to him. His mother had been mortified, but Loki found it endlessly entertaining.

He had nearly cried the next morning, when he came down to bid his family farewell. He hid it, of course. It wouldn’t do to have a son of Odin bawling like a baby over a goodbye. He even managed a weak laugh, when Thor clapped him on the back and congratulated him for surviving his wedding night, although he was curious as to what his brother would say had he known Loki spent it on a couch.

But he really felt it rising, that frozen knot of panic in his throat, when his mother gave him one last embrace. He wondered if she could hear the frantic, childish plea he left unsaid.

Please don’t leave me here.

But as powerful as his mother was, she couldn’t read his mind, and so leave him they did.

He didn’t blame Rowan. He couldn’t—this was no more her fault than it was his. In fact, he had tremendous respect for her. The speech she had given him that night, when they returned to the apartment they were to share as husband and wife, had been straightforward and concise—perhaps a little rehearsed, but not so much that her conviction was unclear.

Still, it had startled him.

“I’ll be your wife. When I’m crowned Queen, you’ll be my Crown Prince. You and your realm will have the power and control you so desperately desire. But you won’t have me. You’ll never have me. Understand?”

Loki nodded. What was he supposed to do? Of all the scenarios he had run through his mind, over and over again until he could barely focus on anything else, he had never prepared for such an abrupt dismissal. When she disappeared into the bedroom, slamming the door with a swish of her emerald gown, he could only stand there like the great gaping idiot he was.

She was swishing that gown now, as they circled the floor once more. She stretched her hand out to his, his hand grazing her waistline as they turned to the music. The crowd of nobles watching from the edges of the ballroom seemed to have drawn even tighter around them since he last looked. The muscles in Loki’s neck tensed, but he held his easy smile. He had learned to dance through these maskless masquerades, and he danced them quite well.

Rowan wasn’t bothered by all the eyes on her. She peered across the assembly, scanning the faces even as she fell back into his arms beaming. Loki didn’t even have to look up to know who she was searching for.

He had met him once. The Other Man. His name was Ari, and he worked in the royal stables. For banquets such as this, however, he was occasionally called in to aid the overworked staff. It was a station he had been born into, it seemed—his father had served as groom, his mother a kitchen maid. Ari had served alongside him as a stableboy in his youth. He and Princess Rowan had known each other since they were children.

Loki had met him when he discovered him lounging in the very rooms he shared with his wife. It was a rare occasion—usually Rowan was smart enough to keep her extramarital engagements outside of the palace—but it seemed that she had to step out for a moment and asked Ari to wait for her. They shared several minutes of stilted conversation. Loki tried to be polite, but the stablehand was clearly uninterested in friendship. They were both exceedingly relieved when Rowan returned to whisk her lover away. The foul-eyed smirk Ari shot at him as he left made Loki feel sick.

He thought about asking Rowan not to bring him back to their apartment. Surely that would be a fair request. If Thor had been in his position he would certainly have no qualms about making it. No, he’d demand that Rowan never do such a thing again.

But … Loki had never exactly been the demanding type. He didn’t want to be the demanding type. It was her life, her love, and he was the intruder from another planet butting in and turning it upside down. It didn’t bother him that she wanted to be with someone else. He wasn’t jealous. He didn’t want Rowan, not like that. He didn’t love her, and she certainly didn’t love him, and Loki was perfectly fine with that. He wanted her to be with Ari, if that was what brought her happiness. They both deserved to be happy.

But … he found himself thinking about them a lot. He had precious little else to do here, besides nod along in meetings where he had no real say and reread books that no longer offered him escape. Loki’s mind would drift off, and he’d wonder how they met, the princess and the stableboy. Maybe Rowan had been lonely as a child—after all, she had no siblings, and the Alfheim court held precious few her age. Maybe she had come to the stables to hide away from the weight of royalty. Loki had done that when he was little—hide in the stables, or the wine cellar, or anywhere safe and secluded where it felt like nobody was looking at him.

Maybe she had hidden in an empty stall, and Ari found her when he came into clean. He imagined Ari had been quite lonely too—there couldn’t be a lot of conversation to be had when one spends their days mucking after horses—and so when he came across the princess huddled in the corner, her silk skirt carefully tucked under her knees, he sat down next to her.

Loki imagined them talking, not about anything in particular, just bouncing from topic to topic the way children tend to do. Maybe Rowan brought up her favorite book. Maybe Ari showed her his favorite flower. It didn’t really matter. But Loki pictured them growing closer, meeting up in secret again and again, their endeavors growing wilder with their childish glee. He saw them sneaking away to the roof of the palace to watch the sunset and count the stars, laughing at the ant-like people scurrying by below as they snacked on stolen chocolates. He saw them creeping away to practice dancing in the moonlight, with nothing but the nightingale’s song to count their steps. He saw them slowly begin to look each other in a different light, nervous lips brushing against each other for the first time. He saw them hatch plans of escape—long, intricate schemes that called for stolen ships and falsified identities—before they came to their senses and realized such plans would never come to fruition. He saw himself enter their story and felt their loathing.

Loki wished he had that. That closeness, that bond. He wished he could talk to Rowan, really talk to her and trust her to listen. Not in a romantic sense, but as something else. Friends. Weren’t there stories like that, where the husband and wife in arranged marriages grew to have a friendship more powerful than anything romantic?

But somehow, Loki knew that to his wife, he’d only ever be the man trying to rip her from her beloved.

The music was reaching a close. Rowan pulled away in a graceful curtsey. Loki let her go with a bow. The crowd rippled with polite applause, devoted and empty as always. Loki kept his smile, blithe as can be.

His wife wasn’t the only brilliant actor in the room.

#loki marvel #loki fanfic #loki angst #loki x ofc #masquerade #cozys fluff-to-angst fun and games #cozy writes

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seasonofthegeek · 3 years

Text

The Question

I’m feeling things so let’s have twenty-somethings Ladybug and Chat Noir who haven’t seen each other in a few months because Ladybug decided to take a break from the hero thing to decide if it’s something she can keep doing after five or so years of giving it her all.

_____

"You're back. It's been a while."

Ladybug tried not to let her surprise at the neutral welcome color her expression. Transforming and swinging across the dark sky had been a spontaneous decision but when she'd caught sight of her former partner, it'd felt like it was meant to be.

Maybe she’d been wrong.

"It has," she agreed, voice slightly wavering. She cleared her throat and waffled her gloved hand in the air with a frown. "And, uh, I'm not actually sure if I'm back yet. Tonight was kind of a test run."

Chat Noir nodded without looking at her and walked closer to the roof edge, gazing down at the lights of the city.

"Sorry I haven't called or anything," she continued. The air between them felt too heavy to let silence settle. "I've been taking some time to try to decide, uh, some things, I guess."

"I remember." He finally did look at her and his guarded gaze made her ache in a way she couldn't quite place. His tail lashed behind him but otherwise he stood still, half turned to her.

"That's why you disappeared in the first place."

"I didn't disappear," she huffed, crossing her arms. "I haven't actually gone anywhere, Chat, and I told you I wasn't going to transform for a while so you would know not to expect me."

"You did," he conceded.

"And if I saw that you guys really needed me in a fight, I would've come," she argued, hearing the petulance leak into her tone. "But you've had it covered."

Chat Noir pursed his lips and looked away from her again. "Yep. Now it only takes a team of eight to do what you and I used to do."

"That's not fair."

"No, it's not." His jaw set in a hard line for a long moment and then his entire being visibly drooped. "I've missed you, Bugaboo," he said quietly. "Being out here isn't the same on my own."

"You're not on your own."

He shrugged. "Feels like I am."

He moved to the ledge and plopped down, long legs slinging out over the edge in what would have seemed like a death-defying move from anyone else. "Hawk Moth and Mayura are getting stronger."

"Sure seems like it." She settled down beside him, leaving an uncharacteristic amount of space between them. "I thought we were free of them."

"Guess they were just taking a break too." Chat Noir attempted a smile but it fell short. "Doesn't help that they aren't the only Big Bads anymore."

Ladybug swallowed hard and nodded. "It just feels so...don't you just..." She let out a frustrated grunt. "I'm tired; aren't you tired? We've been doing this for years and it's that same thing over and over and..." She trailed off again and shook her head, unable to find the right words.

"It shouldn't have been us," he said after a few minutes. "We were kids. There should've been someone else to do this. Adults, people who knew what they were signing up for," he muttered. "Someone else."

"Feels like a lifetime ago when we started this."

"It wasn't. Not really."

“I guess not. And now we're the adults."

"Terrifying, huh?" A siren sounded in the distance and Chat Noir shook his head. "I'm not on duty tonight. They'll call me if they need me."

Silence settled between them and while it was heavy it wasn't as awful as Ladybug feared. There had always been things left unsaid and there always would be; the things had just changed over the years.

It was really nice to be by his side again though.

"Being in charge suits you." She crossed her legs and tapped her heels against brick before kicking out. It felt good to be up so high, to feel the thrill of power.

"Yeah, right." His words held a bitter laugh. "I never know the right thing to do."

"That's not true." She scooted to the side, closing a bit of distance between them. "I've watched your interviews, you know. And I've seen the footage of you directing the team. You're doing great, Kitty."

He loosely clasped his hands over his knees and leaned dangerously forward. He looked back towards her, hair that had gotten just a little too long hiding his eyes. "You really don't know if you're coming back?"

She knew the question was coming.

She knew and she still didn't have an answer.

"Is it so bad to want a life away from this?" she asked instead. "I don't think I'm gonna get a degree at this point, but it'd be nice to know I had the option without a villain of the week wreaking havoc. I’m surprised we even graduated."

"I’m taking some classes and it sucks." He leaned back again and she saw the shadow of a smile flicker across his face. "My only saving grace has been that classes are online and my professors don’t seem to mind me turning in stuff late."

"That’s awesome. I’m proud of you."

He shrugged. “Not completely my choice, to be honest, but I made a deal with my dad. And who knows, maybe it’ll give me some idea of what I want to do with the rest of my life.”

She let that sink in before responding. “Do you think you want to keep being Chat indefinitely?”

“I like being me. I think it’d be hard to leave it behind. Definitely hard to lose Plagg.” He rubbed at his ring.

"Yeah, that’s been a bit of an issue for me too with Tikki. She’s family.”

He blew out a loud breath. “I get why you took a break. I can admit I’ve been mad about it, but...” His shoulders slumped. “I get it. I think I needed tonight to remind me how you felt.”

She reached across the small space still between them and took one of his clawed hands in hers. “You know I wasn’t leaving you, don’t you? That’s not what I meant this to be.”

“It kinda felt like it though.” He stared down at their hands. “We’ve been Chat Noir and Ladybug for half a decade. I didn’t want that to end.”

“Ladybug and Chat Noir,” she corrected with a teasing smile. “And it hasn’t ended; it’s just been...put on temporary hold.”

He tightened his hold on her hand. “I should tell you that I want you to do what makes you happy, but the selfish part of me really wants to talk you into coming back no matter what. I don’t wanna lose you. You’re just as much a part of me as being Chat Noir is.”

She let his tail wrapping around her waist guide her closer to his side so she could rest her head on his shoulder.

She’d missed him. Her heart had ached from a Chat Noir-sized hole she hadn’t even realized was there and as she sat on the roof ledge, looking over the twinkling lights of the city and feeling his warmth seep into her side, she felt like she could come back to this life.

But...

“I need more time,” she whispered. She felt him stiffen slightly at her side. She felt the crack of her admission skitter along the surface of her heart, and then an internal sigh of relief at the truth of it.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

#ladynoir #ladybug #chat noir #miraculous #kinda wanna turn this into something #kinda think it might be angsty #sides of the love square falling for each other #hmmmmmmmm

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swanhookheart · 3 years

Text

Angry Grishaverse book review time!

After watching and LOVING s1 of Shadow and Bone, I read the trilogy! I was not impressed.

Spoilers incoming for Grishaverse stuff, so if you don’t want those, don’t read on!

Watching Shadow and Bone this past weekend, I was hooked : Darklina, the lore behind the amplifiers, the Aleksander backstory… I was really impressed and hoped that this was it--that at last, I’d found a fantasy series that was going somewhere big, something I could really, thoroughly sink my teeth into.

*Sigh*

Then I read the books.

The reader / viewer enters the Grishaverse associating darkness with pure evil. The Fold, described early on, is shown to be this bleak, awful, ruinous place where people go to be eaten alive by volcra and hope goes to die. We therefore, naturally, associate the Darkling--who possesses the power of shadow--with that evil from the off. I’m speaking as someone who only got into the Grishaverse last Saturday. My initial thoughts were, “oh, he’s being set up to be viewed as dark and scary; this is the expectation Bardugo wants us to have so that we’ll be blown away by some great twist later. Count me in!”

But that twist never came. He was set up as evil, and he stayed evil. Surprise, he’s the Black Heretic! Surprise, he’s an abomination effectively created by Morezova’s greed! Surprise, he’s ruthless and horrible and does cruel things! Except none of those things are actually surprising, given he was SET UP from the beginning to be viewed that way. He did bad things, walked a bad walk, and talked a bad talk. I kept thinking “ah, so he’s gonna get a sweeeet redemption arc,” and then he just never did. That element of the story was predictable to a nauseating degree, and that predictability made the entire universe feel a bit flat. If the reader saw more of his backstory, had more real, logical, sound justification for why he does the things he does (like in the show, where they at least tried to paint his actions as borne of some misplaced sense of servitude / protection for the Grisha or where we saw him actively struggling at points to grapple with the darkness inside him), then maybe the trilogy wouldn’t have been such a letdown. And yes, I know about his sacrifice or whatever later on. It’s not enough.

In villains, I and probably plenty of others like to see humanity. We want to empathize with our villains to a certain extent--to understand them just a little bit--so we can fully commit to hating them when they violate our trust. The Darkling didn’t have that human, redeeming quality, though--at least, not in the books. In the books, he was just a power-hungry jackass who simultaneously didn’t want to be alone and kept trying to kill his only opportunity not to be alone. His single-mindedness, his lack of human empathy, the simplicity with which he pursued this made him seem almost stupid to me as a reader. For someone who’s lived hundreds of years, he’s kind of an idiot when it comes to other people--which, itself, almost seems incongruous with his having lived for so long. If he’d maybe had more backstory or more in his story to justify his actions, maybe he’d feel like a better villain. But atm, all I’m doing is rolling my eyes with him. I couldn’t love him because he didn’t put in any work toward being a better person. Even in the end, he doesn’t actually do the work or repent. But I also can’t hate him because the source material hasn’t given me enough actual human qualities to hate or to feel betrayed. His character just… missed the mark for me.

As did Mal’s. Fucking MAL, oh my GOD! This dude’s literal only personality trait was loving Alina. Cool, he could track--for Alina, mostly. He could fight--for Alina. “I am become a blade”? Sir, you got a whole-ass tattoo announcing that you’re an object in this woman’s service? No WAP is worth that, and I’m speaking as a very bisexual woman. My dude, it’s weird, it’s extra, it’s just too much. I’ll go back to the Darkling for two seconds to say that, ofc, his actions were painted as problematic and misogynistic and gross. But, like, the possessiveness Mal displays with Alina kinda feels on that same level? Why are we pretending he’s better when he actively tries to keep her low, keep her powerless, and keep her his? Again, dude got a tattoo of her sigil. He was fully prepared to be the leader of her guard even if she married Nikolai just for the opportunity for some sexytimes. I know that YA is about really intense emotion, the fire of teenage hormones and stuff, but that all just felt a bit toxic. The way that his entire life revolved around her while she tried to balance the role of saint, hero, orphan, and all the things she was just felt goofy and like a wildly unhealthy dynamic.

Their whole relationship also felt really obvious, as I guess the Darkling being revealed as the trilogy’s big bad did. It was predictable, set up to be that way from the start. There were no surprises. It was Mal, and then it was still Mal, and in the end, it was also Mal. We weren’t really shown any of what made them so drawn to each other, we were just kind of told and expected to be fine with the intensity of it. But it read as being way too much for me, and god, it kept getting worse. Again, this one felt like low-hanging fruit--low effort, lazy writing. Nothing about it actually read to me as romantic, just as too much. They didn’t so much as fall in love as just start out that way, and reading that was somewhere between boring and uncomfortable. At least with the Darkling or hell--even Nikolai--we saw some of that chemistry unfold on the page. We were shown some of what made them work the way they did. There was something underpinning their relationship, and not just “oh, they’re supposed to be together”. I mean, after all JKR’s bullshit, I feel totally fine saying fuck authorial intent. If you can’t even be bothered to actually put your shit on the page, don’t ask me to blindly accept your version canon as gospel truth.

We could have had Deckerstar vibes, Beauty and the Beast vibes, seen light and dark come together and surprise us by actually working well together. But no, we saw a special girl lose everything that made her special and settle for some mediocre fuckboy from her hometown. We get characters that actually have the potential to be dynamic and make for a good story, but she still ends up with this bland, vanilla, trick-ass bitch? It’s a major letdown when you’ve actually been exposed to decent fictional couples, tbh.

OOF! And the ending? Oh jesus fuck, that ending. Darkling just… dies. Just like that. I read three whole books for that? I know he comes back and dies again and all, but the whole trilogy felt like it was building up to something more, something deeper and greater and more profound. He was horrible for the things he did, sure, and he deserved defeat as long as he refused to waver from his power-hungry, destructive path. But his death brought about no closure. He and Alina never actually had the fight they needed to or reached an understanding with each other. Everything is left undone, unsaid, unexplored. The ending just felt super anticlimactic on the page, and so, the trilogy as a whole fell completely short of any mark I hoped it might hit.

Did I hope Darklina would be endgame? Sure. But I’d also have been A-okay with a tragic ending if it had been done right. Did I think it would have been a lot more interesting to see a redemption arc for Darkling than just… more of the same? Or maybe Mal develop a personality outside of Alina? Absolutely. There was so much potential, and it really feels like Bardugo squandered all of it. And for what? This was nearly as disappointing as the eighth season of Game of Thrones. I probably won’t be watching future seasons if they follow the books, but I guess I’m glad for the day or so of fleeting pleasure I got when I still had hope for a properly told story.

#Shadow and bone #anti-mal #darklina #shadow and bone spoilers #grishaverse

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trevor-wilson-covington · 3 years

Text

What could have been...

//Saw that the site I use to make mood boards has a CD Cover option and thought it would be fun to do Sunset Curve’s Demo and Unreleased Songs (+Home Is Where My Horse Is) as they would look as singles!!! I may make CD Covers for the other 13 songs in the show...if people end up really liking these ones and if inspiration strikes!

**Gave an idea of what I think the other 7 songs would be about/why they were written (said what we know Unsaid Emily, Now or Never, and Home Is Where My Horse Is are about already of course too)!!

1. Unsaid Emily: Is of course about Luke’s rough relationship with his mom, which was never resolved before his death. It touches on how he knew he should have turned around and come back home but his pride stopped him. All the conversations he had created in his head about what they would say to each other when he finally saw her again stayed that way, thoughts in his head. Wondering if he had been able to say the right things to his mom or made up with her before dying, would time not have erased the memory of him?

2. Get Lost: I believe it is about the feeling of restlessness and wanting to just take off on an adventure somewhere new or unique. Similar to how Luke finds sleeves (zleeves) restricting, this song is about how life can feel suffocating sometimes and all you want to do is grab a bag of essentials and walk in the mist/ride off into the night to a freer life.

3. Long Weekend: Is about the band’s friendship/brotherhood/sense of found family and how over many weekends they find themselves going through a lot of struggles and heartache together. These are the weekends that feel the longest because there is so much the four boys help each other through and many times they find they don’t want the weekend to end so they can spend more non-band time together to just be four stupid teen boys navigating all the twists and turns of life.

4. Crooked Teeth: My thoughts are that it could have been written when he had braces/a retainer in the 90s & was self-conscious of it, so it was written to cheer Reggie up about his braces/retainer & pretty much say "hey, Reggie...people's smiles vary & they're all unique & beautiful"...instead of mocking him, like the show seems to tell us it was written to do.

5. My Name Is Luke: Is a darker, more introspective song about Luke’s struggle with an identity crisis where he feels he’s being pulled in different directions. One side is the Luke who loves his parents and wants to make them happy and have them be proud of him. The other side is the Luke. who is passionate about writing and playing music, who thrives off the feelings and energies of the crowd as they connect with him and his lyrics. Luke finds he can’t be one version of Luke without ultimately giving up the other and trying to do both is exhausting and soul crushing at times. The title is his way of saying ‘Hey, this is my name, it’s who I am, and I can be a loving son my parents can be proud of while also doing what I love and making a difference in the lives of people who listen to my music’. He just wishes his parents could come to understand that he loves music and he’s really good at it, so why can’t he continue doing it and make them proud at the same time.

6. Now or Never: Is, as we know, about Sunset Curve’s rise to fame and how they can dream as though they’ll never die but they’re going to live their life as though today could be their last day alive. They aren’t looking to the future, because all they need are each other and the energy that is coursing through their bodies in the present. They hear a voice in their heads saying you only have this one life, so make the most of it so when you die you’ll have had no regrets about the things you did or didn’t do. This is their time to shine and even when their lives were bleak or lacking, their days were still the best of their lives because they were making music and gradually making a name for themselves doing so.

Weaved in are of course lyrics that seem to foreshadow their 3 deaths with the mention of shock to their hearts (the defibrillators used to try to keep them alive in the alley or ambulance), clocks moving forward but they don’t get older (how for 25 yrs they were in limbo and didn’t age and are now 17-year-old ghosts in 2020), how they kept on climbing 'til their stars collided (floated up out of the ambulance to the dark place until crashing into Julie’s life (she’s a star as Luke says)), and how all that they left in the past was just the just the key to paradise (all the things they left behind once they died were just ‘stepping stones’ to the ‘paradise’ of heaven for most people or in the boy’s case the path to Julie and playing music again).

7. Late Last Night: Is about the late nights the four boys spent out at clubs/venues leading up to the Orpheum, gigs that helped them gain a decent following, and all the crazy things they saw and did. 17-year-olds out late partying, possibly drinking, on school nights. A higher energy song, similar to Now or Never to match the antics of a bunch of teens practically let loose on the music/club scene during the band’s rise in the Hollywood/LA music scene in ‘93/’94/’95. It evokes the feelings of being wild and reckless as a teen, while also somehow capturing the energy of the nighttime as you move from the crowded main strip into residential areas and how quick and jarring the change can be.

8. Lakeside Reflection: This is a tough one, but I think it would be about the individual experiences most or all of the boys have from going to lakes during summer with their families. There’s of course all the fun time spent with family, but in the reflection on the lake of those moments the boys only see the truth of their family dynamics, what was hidden behind a pleasant façade.

For Luke, it was the strained relationship and fights with his mom over the band and his dreams.

For Alex, it was the looks and offhanded comments made by his parents and the looks of sympathy from his sister, ever since he told them he was gay.

For Reggie, it was the nights spent keeping his brother and sister distracted as the walls practically shook from the volume and intensity of his parents’ almost daily fights.

And for Bobby, it was the truth that he kept up a façade even with the boys so they wouldn’t know that his family, that the others always believed to be perfect, wasn’t perfect at all. When rarely he saw his parents and they weren’t off on business trips or working late into the night, Bobby found them to be disinterested in his life and any affection or love was relegated to a pat on the back or a quick hand held before they rushed out the door once more.

The happy summer vibes at the lake could never truly make any of the boys forget their truths, but at least they could let loose for the extent of their trips and finally feel like a carefree teen again.

9. In Your Starlight: This would seem to be a certain kind of love song at first glance and for some people that’s what it may be, but to me it is a very specific kind of love song. This love song is about relationships each of the boys had, the very few of them, that didn’t turn out well for some reason or another. A passion for music overshadowing the passion to keep a relationship going. The fear of long-term commitment and a short-lived bliss, before the fighting starts, ending the relationship before it ever grew deeper. The smothering of a fire in the soul so outsiders can’t see one trace of its flicker, hidden behind a lie, in case they find out the truth and react with disgust or hatred. Or the overly flirtatious and, at times, clingy antics used to get a person interested in starting a relationship. To keep them invested in the relationship, in an effort to make sure they won’t leave out of boredom or for someone better. This song is from the perspective of those other people, how they saw the relationship, no matter the length, and what they see as the thing that ended it or kept it from growing stronger. How they all in some way felt like they were pulled in by light of each of the boys (the stars) and things were good at first, before the cracks started to appear and reality truly set in.

10. Home Is Where My Horse Is: It’s an expression of where and whom Reggie calls home. The horse had never really stood for an actual horse, but rather it represented Luke, Alex, and Bobby. The people Reggie considered his family, his home, more than he ever would the house he had grown up in. Horses symbolize freedom without restraint, because riding a horse makes people feel they can free themselves from their own bindings. There is no constraining a horse when it runs with the wind, but they also enjoy the company of family and friends. Reggie wants freedom from the stuff with his parents and his own personal demons that keep him held back. He finds with the band, his real family, he can run free and be himself...enjoying being around the boys and not having to worry about fighting and drama. His home is where he (the horse) is... able to be its true self and go where the wind takes it.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #sunset curve #jatp fanart #jatp meta sort of #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters #bobby wilson

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believinghurts · 3 years

Text

To Lose, But to Gain Part 1

Requested: No

Warnings: Death, anxiety (Y/N) has been friend with James Potter since she was a little girl. His parents considered her their daughter. She moved into the Potter residence after her family joined the Dark Lord, much like Sirius. But what happens when Fleamont and Euphemia dies, leaving James broken? (Y/N) helps to comfort James in his time of need, while trying to battle her own feelings. **Lily is in this, but I have portrayed her as kinda mean. Jealously is an evil thing. I am not sure when I’ll the next part up. Hopefully soon. Feedback welcome. Request open!*** March 12th, 1979 was seemingly the worst day of your, but it was nothing compared to how you know James felt. It was only four months; four months since James cried on your shoulder after his parents told him that they both had contracted Dragon Pox. The doctors said the potions wouldn’t help much, but they took them anyway in hopes of sending just a little more time with James. Four months was seemingly a decent amount of time, but she could only wish for more as she stood next to her friends in a room full of strangers.

(Y/N) pressed a gentle kiss to Sirius’s cheek before passing him off to Remus. She weaved her wave through the throngs of people till she reached James at his mother's casket. (Y/N) pressed her hand into James’s back causing him to turn towards her. His cheeks were sunken in with dark bags under her eyes, and tried tear tracks running down his face. He grabbed her hand to pull her into his side. She leaned her head onto his shoulder as the onslaught of memories that lead to this spiral of grief crashed onto her.

Sirius, Lilly, Remus, and (Y/N) have all been staying at the Potter residence, with Peter joining every now and then, after Euphemia got bedridden on March 8th. Although James was their only child, Fleamont and Euphemia considered all those currently staying in their house their children. The Potter house was a safe haven for all those who came, something that all of them, especially Sirius and (Y/N), knew and loved. But that all seemed to crack when Sirius let out a gut wrenching cry for the woman who had taken (Y/N) and himself in when their own parents kicked them out.

He was the first to notice when Euphemia stopped breathing. Tears fell down (Y/N)’s face as she turned to watch James breakdown at the sight of his father kissing his mother one last time. He didn’t utter a word as his father brought him into a hug, crying with his son over the woman they both loved. (Y/N) took Sirius’s hand to pull him, along with Remus, and Lily out of the room to give James and Fleamont some time with Euphemia. She wiped her tears knowing that it was going to be a long and hard couple of days for everyone, and that she needed to stay strong.

When she reached for the door handle, but halted when she heard Fleamonts voice, “(Y/N), princess stay. You are just as much a part of this as James and Sirius.”

She looked up at the man who had loved her as his own since she showed up on their doorstep at the age of seven asking to play with James. She glanced up at Remus who nodded at her, “Go, I’ll take care of it. James needs you. They all do.”

No one seemed to notice the look of jealousy that passed on Lily's face when she saw James bury his head into (Y/N)’s neck. The trio plus Fleamont stayed with Euphemia till St. Mungos came to take her body. Shortly after Fleamont pressed a kiss to their foreheads, before retiring to the guest room down the hall since he almost collapsed from exhaustion. The time James hadn’t released his hold on (Y/N). They moved to join the others in the living room where Peter had joined Lily, and Remus. The latter had set up mattresses on the floor for everyone already expecting that they all would want to be close.

(Y/N) gently untangled her hand from James’s, but the look of panic in his eyes made her quick to explain, “Stay here. I’ll be back soon. I’m gonna go check on dad, okay?”

James nodded his approval. (Y/N) would have to talk to Remus if James didn’t speak sometime soon. But she quickly decided that it could wait till at least tomorrow since she currently didn’t feel like talking very much either. She squeezed his hand before looking at Lily who had stepped up next to James. Lily grabbed his hand and pulled him to the mattress on the end.

When she was sure James would be okay for a little bit she made the trek down the hall to Fleamont. She knocked softly before pushing the door open when she heard an entry call.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Fleamont greeted the young girl who he had grown to consider his daughter and his son's happiness.

(Y/N) forced a small smile onto her face, crossing the room to sit on the edge of his bed to get a better look to see what he had in his hand. The forced smile on her lips quickly turned into a real one when she saw what it was. The picture he was holding was a wizard photo that played on a loop. It was taken their 4th year when Sirius had moved into the Potter's house. The family, James, Fleamont, (Y/N), Euphemia, and Sirius, were gathered at a Christmas tree farm on a snowy day. The older couple was laughing while Fleamont dipped his wife back to kiss her as the group of teens made gagging noises. It was easily one of (Y/N)’s favorite memories.

(Y/N) hadn’t noticed the tears leaking from her eyes till she felt a hand on her cheek wiping them away. “Don’t cry. We will all be together again someday. She wouldn’t want the sadness instead remember all the happy times we had, and I want the same when I’m gone.”

That caused her head to snap up, “Wh-what?”

“It won’t be long now. Especially now that I know that all three of the kids will be taken care of by each other and Remus. All parents want for their children is that they are supported and loved. You and James do that for each as do Remus and Sirius.”

The sobs that had been stuck in her throat came out full force. She begged him not to leave them so soon, that they needed him. Fleamont pulled her into a hug, “All you need is each other and you have that more than you realize. Hold on to one another, love each other, don’t let things go unsaid. And remember the ones that love us never really leave us, you can always find them in here.” He placed his hand over her heart before kissing her forehead. “Now, go. Hug my boys for me and Mia. Tell them we love them just like we love you.”

(Y/N) nodded softly before pressing a kiss to his cheek, and helping him get comfortable in bed. Unbeknownst to the two Lily had heard all of the conservation after she was sent to get (Y/N) when Sirius asked for her.

Rest was not seen very well for the group. Peter had taken the shorter sofa, and could be heard tossing and turning. Remus took the larger sofa, but instead of sleeping he was reading Mrs. Potter had given him for Christmas. James and Lily had taken the mattress furthest from the sofas; James was curled in on himself pretending to be asleep, but couldn’t actually sleep too afraid of nightmares he knew would come. Lily had fallen asleep a little bit after she thought James was, but kept moving every couple of minutes. Sirius had curled up in between Remus' sofa and the girl who he considered a sister. His head on her chest while she played with his hair while he played with Remus’s free fingers. The hours passed slowly, but no one dared to speak. The emotional exhaustion seeped into their bones and finally they fell into a fitful sleep.

When (Y/N) woke a few hours later the first thing she noticed was the second body on her other side. James had woken up from a nightmare and quietly left his bed to join her and Sirius. Sirius had tucked into her shoulder so James had laid his head on her stomach with his body in between her legs. Her hand was tangled with his much like all the other times they had done this while talking about nothing yet everything. She looked out the window to see the light beginning to rise. Knowing that she wouldn’t be going back to sleep, she slipped out of the boys grasped and tip-toed down to where Fleamont was staying. She wanted to see if he was awake before she woke James and Sirius so they could spend the day with him. But those plans came to a stuttering halt when she noticed the bluish tint to Fleamont’s skin.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she prayed to whoever was listening that he was breathing. He wasn’t. Her tears dripped down onto his cold skin as she kissed his forehead. She sank to the floor in the corner of the room sobbing quietly, while she tried to gather herself to go wake the others and break the news. She buried her head in her arms as she pulled her knees to her chest crying as if it would be her last. She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting there, but when she felt arms wrap around her, and tears hit the top of her head causing her to jump.

“I’m so sorry, Jamie,” she whispered.

James sniffled, “It’s okay. He’s with Mum now. I-I talked to him this morning. I wa-was with him when he….I waited to tell everyone. I wanted some time with him and I figured that you and Sirius would want to say goodbye.”

(Y/N) understood where he was coming from. And although these were his parents he was still thinking of his friends who loved his parents as their own. She was glad that James got to see his Dad one last time. This would be the first time that James had ever faced a loss as big as this one. “This maybe a stupid question, but are you okay?

She raised her head to look at his face, wiping his tears with her thumbs. He smiled pitifully, “Okay? No. Will I be, eventually? Yes.” He shifted them so that her legs were over his with her head on his shoulder, and her playing with the fingers of his left hand while his right ran down her back. “He, um, told some stuff before he…..” James couldn’t bring himself to say the ‘D’ word, but (Y/N) understood what he meant. “He said that I was a great son, and that he and Mum were so proud of me. And that the only regret they had was that they wouldn’t be able to see me marry the woman I love.”

(Y/N) tried to keep her face as blank as possible while she remembered the words the Fleamont had told her last night while processing what James had said. Was Fleamont talking about her when he said those words to James? (Y/N) had been battling feelings for her Best friend since their sixth year, but had been working her hardest to get over them knowing that James loved Lily. “Yeah, they always loved Lily.”

(Y/N) missed the look of longing in James’ eyes as she turned towards the doorway after a creek came from the floorboards. Remus, Sirius, and Lily were all there looking at the cold body of Fleamont Potter. Sirius turned, shoving passed the others, storming into the kitchen.

Remus gave the two on the floor a sympathetic smile, “I’ve got him.” Before following Sirius out.

Lily made her way over to James as (Y/N) kissed Fleamont’s cheek one last time before heading towards the door, “I’ll send word to St. Mungos, so you can have a little more time with him, Jamie.”

“Thank you, but can you come back once you're done? I-I don’t want to be alone.”

“I’ll stay, James,” Lily said, grabbing onto his hand.

James kept his eyes trained on (Y/N) who was looking at Lily. “Please, princess? I just need someone who-who understands. Please?”

The nickname sent a pang of hurt straight through her heart. Fleamont was the one who gave her it, but the boys quickly picked up on it. Being the only girl in the Mauraders meant she was the princess of the group even when Lily entered. Despite the hurt it sent her, it also made her incredibly relieved that James was talking. She knew that she would do whatever it took to make sure James was going to be okay. (Y/N) locked eyes with James, nodding softly. She noticed that beside James Lily was glaring softly, but was smart enough to make sure that James didn’t see it. “I’ll send an owl, and the we can stay as long as you want.”

****************

She blinked back tears as she was brought back to the present by James tugging on her hand to move to his father's casket. The duo stayed even after people started moving to where the drinks were. (Y/N) noticed James looking around the room slightly, “We can stay here as long as you want, you know?”

“I know, but I-I said my goodbyes already. I just needed to look at them a little longer, but I think I’m ready now.” His voice hoarse.

“Whenever you know you’re ready is when we leave. Not before that.” (Y/N) whispered into his shoulder where her forehead was resting.

“I just want them to be at peace with each other.” James linked his fingers through hers. (Y/N) nodded before guiding him to where everyone else was. The room was packed with people who knew the Potter’s. She spotted Remus, who had Sirius buried in his shoulder, in the corner of the room. She began to pull James towards them, but was stopped by multiple people who were giving James his condolences, and letting him know that they were there for him. From the look on James’s face she could tell he had no clue who half of these people were. One particularly old wizard didn’t seem to notice the look on his face, and kept talking about something she didn’t catch. She could tell that James was getting close to losing it.

“I’m sorry, sir. But you’ll have to excuse us.” She didn’t wait for a reply before leaving with James in tow. She pushed James into a chair beside Remus, loosening his tie slightly so he could breathe a little better. “I’m going to get you some water. Do you want anything else, Jamie?”

He shook his head. On the way to the drinks, (Y/N) passed Lily who was talking with Marlene and Docras. The latter sent a small smile when she noticed her while the other two just looked at her. (Y/N) grabbed some water for both James, and Sirius, knowing that Remus would share with Siri if he wanted some, as well as a chocolate chip muffin hoping that she could get James to eat at least a couple of bites. Upon arriving back to the boys, she was greeted by the sight of Minevera McGonagall who was talking to James. She was still too far away to hear what was being said, but whatever it was caused James to smile despite the tears running down his face. Leave it to Minnie to be the one who makes him smile for the first time in days, (Y/N) thought.

McGonagall hugged James before moving to speak to Sirius and Remus. Minnie gave her a hug as she walked past, letting her know to contact her if she or any of them needed someone to talk to. Although they had all graduated over a year ago, they all still kept in touch with their favorite professor.

(Y/N) handed a water to Remus before going to James. Lily stood beside his chair looking down at him. “Do you want or need anything else?” James shook his head before leaning onto (Y/N)’s shoulder as she perched on the arm of his chair so she could quietly talk to Remus. Without thinking about it (Y/N) started to run her fingers through James’s already messed up hair making the boy relax into her side.

Remus noticed James' position on his other friend. He was worried about his three best friends. They had lost the only parents they had ever known within days of each other. He knew that (Y/N) was trying to stay strong for Sirius and James, but was forgetting herself. Yes, she had cried some, but she hadn’t talked about any of it. Truthfully Remus knew that she had feelings for James. It became obvious when she turned slightly red faced in their sixth year when James cuddled her on the Common Room couch, but she never told anyone. Remus loved (Y/N) like the little sister he never got to have. Besides Sirius she was the one he was closest too; she was his person. Just like he knew he was hers. This only made Remus want to make sure that she was going to be okay since she wouldn’t do that for herself. “How are you doing, (Y/N)?”

“Uh? Oh, I’m okay. Just trying to keep an eye on Jamie the best that I can.” She glanced down at the brown eyed boy noticing that his breaths were starting to even out. Remus also noticed that James was essentially asleep on (Y/N), prompting him to ask how James was sleeping. They all, minus Peter and Lily most nights, had been staying at the Potter residents, not leaving one another alone for more than a few minutes at a time. “He keeps having nightmares. We’ll try to go to sleep in our own rooms, but either I’ll wake up to him kicking the wall or him crawling into my bed. I think they are getting a little better, but not much. He slept a little more than two hours before he woke up. Granted we just slept in my bed last night not even trying to sleep alone.”

“I know that you are trying to make sure that he is okay or is going to be okay, but you need to take care of yourself too. We’ll take care of James tonight. You need some sleep, I can tell. Sirius usually sleeps through the night if he takes the Draught of Peace, right Siri?” Remus said looking at his lover.

Sirius nodded, “I do, but he won’t let you take over Rem. He won’t be able to go back to sleep if he wakes up with a nightmare, and that’s if he lets her go long enough for her to even get into her bed.” He tilted his head towards James showing the other two the tight grip James had on (Y/N)’s waist with one arm, and her hand with the other.

“He’s right, ya know.” James’s voice startled the trio. “You keep the nightmares away, princess. Always have. I know you need sleep too, and you can just please stay with me? All I need is your presence, I promise.”

(Y/N) nodded softly at James, squeezing his hand. James looked at his friends, “Can we please leave? I can’t be here any longer.”

They all stood to make their way to the apparition point. Remus leading holding onto Sirius’s hand with (Y/N) following holding onto James. Someone caught James’s other hand, he looked back to see Lily. “Where are you going, James?”

“Oh, um, home. I can’t- I can’t be here any longer.” He stopped to talk to his girlfriend causing the other three to wait on him. “Um, you can come over later if you want. I just need some time.”

Lily nodded, “Okay, I will. Are you sure you’ll be okay alone for a while?” Lily already knew that James wasn’t going home alone. She knew that at least (Y/N) was going to be with him. And she tried to look past it. Thinking that they were just best friends who were leaning on each other in a time of need, but she couldn’t help to notice the touches, and some looks passed between the two.

“I won’t be.” He tilted his head in the direction of Sirius, (Y/N), and Remus. “They’ll be with me. Just come over later or something. I have to go.” He was getting overwhelmed at all the looks of sympathy getting sent his way. He didn’t wait for Lily to reply before walking past his friends, and apperating home.

#harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #james potter #james potter x reader #remus lupin x sirius black #sirius black x platonic!reader #mauraders x reader #Lilly evans

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