#I have vague memories of looking at it so fucking long ago and thinking the first chapter was vulgar but once u get passed that hump wow

[frobby]

Nothing is stronger than the bond between a girl and a piece of media they brushed off 10 years ago that they now realized is the greatest thing ever made

#In this context 'girl' refers to everyone this has happened to #I've already told the story about how I watched half of the first ep of khr and turned it off cuz I thought tsuna annoying #I did it with mairuma too I saw it coming out and just ignored it cuz I thought the concept was generic #And only picked it up when the manga was updating #Fukimono I read like up to when they go to the yokai world and never got to it till I got super sick actual YEARS afterwards #Sad to say but blue exorcist technically counts cuz I read 5 chapters ans stopped but it's cuz I got busy its not cuz I STOPPED liking aoex #I never stop liking blue exorcist this is for life #Jeweler richard anime I got to ep 6 and was convinced for a while it was mid and yeah the anime is but the manga/LN is amazing #I did this with a ton of vocaloid artists too #Let's not bury the lead (I say as bury the lead) #This post is actually cuz I've been binge reading yohaji #I have vague memories of looking at it so fucking long ago and thinking the first chapter was vulgar but once u get passed that hump wow #It's so good #I'm gonna make a separate post about hmmgm #Tell me what yall did this to thanks #Khr #Hitman reborn #Mairuma #mairimashita! iruma kun #fukigen na mononokean #fukimono #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #Jeweler richard #yohaji #Fuck what's the full yohaji title #Oh well

[hooved]

every single day i experience symptoms of ocd and every single day i'm somehow surprised by it

#one example being when i'm getting ready to go to sleep #i literally have to scroll through my dash until i find a picture that doesn't give me some kind of anxiety #can't leave the screen on a picture of this sloppy red cake batter because it looks vaguely gorey and what if i die in some gorey accident #can't leave the screen on a picture of a cat because what if my cat dies tomorrow #can't leave the screen on a picture of a beautiful field with a yellowy filter on it because it makes me think of some kinda movie scene #where someone is recalling pleasant memories on their death bed #can't leave it on a picture of fire because what it my house burns down in my sleep #can't leave it on a picture of a graveyard for obvious reasons etc. etc. #there's always something. everything links to death with me and i can't go to sleep with any of it on my screen because it's ''''bad luck'' #or whatever the fuck #but a picture of like some cute colorful patterns or a silly little doll or some cool clothes ? well that's alright i guess :) #i experience other ocd symptoms but that's the one that always makes me go woah wtf ???? i have ocd ???? #edit: remembering a few years ago when i started getting really really bad fears relating to my ribs. ribs in general #and every time i lied down i had to make sure my ribs were perfectly lined up with each other ? #and my ribs are already pretty misshapen so it took. a long time to do that #and i'd toss and turn and freak out and get so scared and frustrated and cry. they had to be lined up #because the fact that your ribs can move and sometimes one side is further back or further forward or whatever scared me so much #i'm like mostly over that now. i don't do that anymore but. weird how i didn't think that was an ocd thing back then lmao

[citizen-sade]

Rain Check

Inspired by this text post:

-------

Eddie glanced from his guitar to the digital alarm clock on the side table next to his bed, where he'd been idly strumming for the past hour, not really trying commiting the tune to memory.

He realized the upbeat lyrics of Bruce Springsteen in Steve’s off-key tenor from the bathroom two doors down had trailed off long ago. He vaguely wondered if he’d dozed off again.

Eddie grinned wryly as he recalled learning the hard way about Steve’s singular habit of falling asleep in the shower.

***

He bounced his leg impatiently, eyes darting to the bathroom as the minutes ticked closer to 8:00. Steve had been in there awhile and it was almost time for the Miami Vice marathon.

7:00 turned into 7:15... then 7:30... 7:35... This was stupid. He didn't even like Miami Vice. It was Steve's idea. So, what the hell was taking him so long?

Eddie set the bowl of popcorn on the coffe table before heading down the hallway and rapped his knuckles on the bathroom door, "Dude, what are you doing in there? Did you get lost?"

No answer.

Clouds of steam wafted out the door as he opened it to the sound of running water.

“Goddamn. Hot enough in here for you, Harrington?” he asked as he used the sleeve of his t-shirt to wipe off an area of condensation from the mirror above the sink.

He stared at the reflection of the seafoam green shower curtain behind him, waiting for Steve to peek out and ask him what he wanted, but his stomach sank when that didn’t happen.

“Steve?”

Still nothing. He inhaled deeply to steady his nerves. Dramatic though it may be, he couldn't help but think back to the time he'd discovered a former bandmate in a similar manner, unconscious in a hotel bathtub from an overdose. He was lucky Eddie had found him when he did, the dipshit.

But Steve was different. Steve Harrington wasn't a junkie. Steve Harrington was smarter than that.

Although, it wasn't like he'd given Eddie a comprehensive list of any potential health issues. Not that he'd asked for one.

Eddie licked his lips nervously as he turned towards the bathtub. He sighed, scratching the back of his head.

“Very funny, Harrington."

Nothing.

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other before reaching for the shower curtain, half-expecting Steve to jump out at him.

“Ha!" The exclamation hung in the air as Eddie yanked the curtain to the side, revealing the lean, naked form of his boyfriend on the floor of the ceramic tub, slumped against the side.

“Oh, fuck—ohfuck—okay—uh—Hey! Steve! You okay?”

Eddie reached in to shut off the water and sat on the edge of the bathtub to lean over Steve, shaking him gently by the shoulder.

“Shit... shitshitshit... Steve! Hey!" Eddie eyed him with mounting panic, mentally compiling a list of emergency phone numbers, "Wake up, damnit!”

“Mmm—” the jock stirred, his forehead creasing under his dripping hair in annoyance as he mumbled, “five more minutes.”

Eddie stood up and cocked his head in bewilderment, "What the fuck?”

“Wha—” Steve sniffed groggily, “what’s going on?”

Eddie raised his hands to his hips, “Are you kidding me?”

Steve cracked an eyelid to glance quizzically at him, “Oh, hey, Eds. Everything okay?”

The cold air against his wet skin suddenly reminded him of where he was and he looked up at the trickling showerhead, his face reddening as he scrambled to cover himself.

“Oh, damn,” he groaned, running a hand over his face, “did I fall asleep again?”

"Asleep??" Eddie blinked in surprise but sighed with relief, “Again?! Is this a thing you do regularly?”

“I—uh—“

“You scared the shit out of me!”

“Gee, man, I’m sorry—"

"Thought I was gonna have to drag your naked ass out of there myself."

"It’s just a thing I did—do—ever since I was a kid—”

Eddie scoffed playfully, “Well... don’t fuckin' do it again.”

The sheepish grin he received by way of an apology all but dissolved any trace of genuine exasperation. It was a dumb thing to be mad at him for, anyway.

Eddie rolled his eyes and grabbed the towel from where it hung on the wall to throw it at Steve, hitting him in the face.

“Dry yourself off before you get all pruny. The show's about the start!”

***

It wasn't until later, during a moment of intimacy on the sofa, Miami Vice muted in the background and Steve's eyes locked shyly on their intertwined fingers and the prominent veins that traveled up Eddie's forearm, that Steve had explained how he'd adopted the practice of locking himself in the bathroom as a kid. The running water was enough to partially drown out the sound of his parents arguing in the living room, and he would stay in there a little longer each time, allowing the steady rhythm and comfort of the warm water to lull him to sleep—until he would inevitably be startled awake by the sound of his father slamming the front door behind him in a rage, followed by a hurried knock on the bathroom door and his mother yelling from the other side that he was on his own for dinner. Again.

In Steve's defense, he didn't do it every time... and in Eddie's, he couldn't just not tease him mercilessly for it when he did.

Eddie laid his guitar aside. He was careful not to make too much noise as he snuck to the bathroom, expertly opening and closing the door behind him without a single creak. Once again, the only sound to meet his ears upon entering was the hiss of the water.

He slowly drew back the shower curtain to the familiar sight of Steve curled up beneath the steaming water, damp hair clinging to his flushed cheeks.

Eddie smiled fondly at the shallow rise and fall of his chest and heaved an exaggerated sigh, reluctant to disturb the serenity of the moment.

But they had a game to catch. Lucas would be taking inventory of the party from the basketball court, and God forbid he and Steve show up late to anything together. He could hear the obnoxious kissy noises and prying questions now.

Eddie leaned in to wrap his fingers around the cross-handle knob and, with a quick twist, turned it as far to the left as it would go without shutting off completely.

Steve shrieked, cursing incoherently and clambering to shut off the freezing water.

“SHIT!” he panted, eyes wide when he realized he wasn’t alone. In a daze, he grasped the shower curtain to pull it closed, but instead, managed to tear down the metal rod that it hung from. The curtain rod bounced off his head and clattered against the tile as it came to rest in Steve’s lap.

“Gah! Fuck!” he hissed.

Eddie snorted and clamped a hand over his own mouth to keep from laughing as Steve glared daggers at him behind a veil of wet hair, looking like a drowned rat.

A very pissed off drowned rat.

The vision of the so-called King of Hawkins High—usually so smooth; so collected—now fixing him with what was obviously supposed to be an intimidating scowl while sitting naked and waterlogged in his bathtub made Eddie cackle so hard that he had to brace himself against the bathroom sink.

“I’m glad my suffering is so amusing to you,” Steve mocked.

“You should have seen your face, Harrington!” Eddie wheezed as he doubled over at the waist.

Steve blinked and shook his head, tossing his wet hair out of his face.

Eddie's laughter trailed off, “I’m sorry, babe, but you've been in here forever!”

“Oh, shit, you’re right. What time is it?”

“Almost 5:30.”

Steve groaned as he shifted to get his feet under him but failed against the slippery tub floor.

"Damnit, you need to put something in here."

"You mean, like, those... adhesive rubber ducks?"

"Yeah," Steve sneered, "I mean, like, those adhesive rubber ducks."

Eddie watched with glee as Steve made a second attempt to stand and extended his arm, "Don't just stand there, Munson, help me!"

"Okay, okay! Jeez," he grasped Steve's wrist to help him up, only to be yanked off his own feet, falling over the side of the bathtub and into Steve’s lap as he reached up to turn the water back on.

“You dick!” Eddie screeched, "what the hell—" he froze as his words melted into Steve’s mouth.

He instantly relaxed into him, the lukewarm water beating down on them all but forgotten as the tip of Steve's tongue teasingly slid past his lips. Eddie purred against his mouth and Steve withdrew with a cocky smirk. Eddie started as if to protest, but exhaled a heavy breath and hung his head.

“Alright. We're even."

“Mm, let's get you out of these wet clothes,” Steve said, tugging on the hem of Eddie's soaked t-shirt.

“Woah, there, big guy,” Eddie splayed a hand on Steve's chest in a gentle halting motion, “did you forget we’re on a schedule?”

Steve paused, immediately dropping the Casanova act with a petulant huff, “Aw, man!”

Eddie chuckled and pecked him on the cheek as he rose, pulling Steve up with him. He wrung his damp, unruly hair out over the bathtub before twisting to grab a towel and unceremoniously throwing it at Steve’s face. He then grabbed one for himself.

Steve cautiously stepped out of the tub onto the worn plush mat, securing the towel around his waist.

Knowing they couldn’t afford to waste anymore time, Eddie resigned to getting ready in the bedroom so as to allow Steve and his Hair™ their allotted time alone—but not before planting a playful smack on Steve's ass. Steve yelped and grumbled under his breath as he turned to his reflection and the white aerosol can with the picture of Farrah Fawcett that smiled at him from the counter.

Suddenly the door opened again and Eddie peeked in, "Hey, Harrington."

Steve paused mid-spray and rolled his eyes at him in the mirror, "Yeah?"

Eddie clicked his tongue with a wink and the cringiest finger-gun gesture he could manage, “Rain check.”

#stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #ficlet #established relationship

[nickfowlerrr]

whatever he wants

pairing: darkish!bucky barnes x (gray?)curvy!reader

warnings: 18+ only. smut. tiny hint of voyeurism. uhhh this isn’t really dark but it’s not not dark either… so idk. if there’s something i’m missing pls lmk.

words: 3.4k

notes: smutty little part two to IOU. hope you guys like it. thank you in advance for reading and reblogging! as always, feedback and comments are more than welcome and so appreciated. please leave your thoughts, let me know what you think. 🖤

You can’t get up.

You’ve tried three times now, and nothing. The heavy metal arm slung around your waist just. won’t. budge.

You’re about to elbow him in the ribs, the heat of his body and the hot summer air is suffocating and you need to get up - you need to breathe.

One more try and if he doesn’t move, you’re gonna make him.

You roll onto your front and his arm drops onto your back, still keeping you from leaving the bed.

You writhe and huff in annoyance, turning your face to look at him.

He’s still sleeping. Still deceptively beautiful.

You stop your wiggling for a moment as you take him in. His pouty lips, his unfairly long lashes that brush just against his cheekbones, the stubble that’s lining his perfectly sculpted jaw, and his unruly bedhead.. He looks peaceful like this. Nice. So nice, you’d never believe he could be such an absolute dick so much of the time.

You stare a bit longer, wanting to commit the moment, how beautiful and content he looks right now, to memory.

You take a deep breath and try to roll back over, but the weight of his arm makes it no easy feat.

“Bucky,” you whisper yell, not wanting your voice to carry through the rest of the cabin.

You’re sure you’re the only one awake right now; well aside from Steve.

His leaving for his morning run was what had woken you up to begin with. You’ve been laying here for fifteen minutes and you needed to get up now, but Bucky still didn’t move.

You roll your eyes and exhale heavily.

If you punch him, he’ll wake up, but he’ll be pissed. And you don’t think you wanna start your morning off dealing with his attitude.

You swear Bucky Barnes might just be the most dramatic man you’ve ever met.

If one thought he was grumpy normally, they’d be entirely unprepared for him when he was woken up by anything or anyone other than himself or his alarm.

With the one exception of you, of course. More accurately: you working his cock.

Whether it was your hand, your mouth, your cunt, what have you - it was a surefire way to make sure he woke up on the right side of the bed.

But you really aren’t in the mood right now.

Instead, you begin to wiggle under his arm again, worming your way down the bed until finally, blessedly, you get free.

You exhale with a breathy laugh as you sit up on your haunches before looking over to Bucky again.

You can tell already that your absence from where he expects you to be beside him is disturbing him. His brows furrow and then his hand is searching for you among the mess of sheets.

You watch curiously as he pats around the bed before he finally blinks open his eyes and meets your gaze.

He scowls when he recognizes you sitting up across from him.

“Don’t start,” you say as you get off the bed, “in fact, don’t say a word. Just go back to sleep, princess.”

He growls, not nearly as loud as you know he’d like, with sleep still clinging to him.

“What the fuck did I say about you calling me princess,” he gruffs.

“Said not to, if I’m not mistaken. But I like doing it, so I’m not gonna stop.”

“Til I make you,” he vaguely threatens, his voice getting darker and more clear as he wakes up fully.

“Like to see you try,” you taunt as you make your way into the bathroom.

Bucky doesn’t scare you so much anymore. Though you’ve had to learn when to stop pushing. You’ve gotten pretty damn good at reading him. Knowing when he’s entirely serious and at his limit is something you can spot nearly right away now. Since that first night all those months ago, the only times you ignore the warnings are when you’re wanting what he’d given you the first time he had you. Something more rough than normal from him. Something purely carnal. Bordering on truly depraved.. And god, he’s never failed to deliver.

You know you’ve become complicit in this whole arrangement, but you’re starting to care less and less. What can you say? A powerful, beefy, hot as hell super soldier wants you. Chose you. He’s possessively protective over you, and problematic as that can be, you find it ridiculously attractive. And the sex if fucking amazing.

Sure, he can be a dick, but he’s been less of a dick to you. And you quite enjoy the way he now directs his annoyance and anger at those he knows irk you, too.

It's not like you don't fight or argue anymore, but it's almost always resolved quite.. nicely. Who are you to complain about that?

And god, the perks being with Bucky has come with.

You never really fed into the whole “fuck your way to the top” thing, but hey, here you were.

Getting better missions, nicer gear, getting more involved with the big leagues. And though you wouldn’t say it aloud, Bucky always having your back - during missions, in meetings, coming to your defense when someone would question your input - it was nice. Sometimes it was like he was your own personal guard dog.

And you loved the way people would shrink in on themselves, making themselves sparse when you and Bucky were around. You'd never admit it, but you guys were definitely a power couple around the tower. And you were thriving.

The attention, the opportunities, the sex. If you hadn't been blackmailed into this whole thing, you wouldn't have a solitary complaint.

You’re spitting out toothpaste and putting your toothbrush away as Bucky barges into the bathroom. You look up from the sink and shoot him an annoyed glance at the unnecessary disturbance.

“Really?” you ask as he grabs his own toothbrush from its spot.

“What?” he says. You roll your eyes and brush past him to start getting dressed.

“Put on your swimsuit,” he orders as he pauses his brushing to speak.

“Why?” you’re already annoyed knowing the answer. You guys have been here on this little summer getaway for two days now, both of which you’ve successfully managed to avoid getting in the water.

It wasn’t that you were scared or couldn’t swim, no, it was nothing like that.

It was that goddamn bathing suit.

The only bathing suit you had, thanks to Bucky who went into your bags after you’d finished packing and took your other two options out.

You’d swear it was skimpier than some of your lingerie.

“We’re going swimming,” he smirks, eyeing you hungrily.

You turn with another roll of your eyes and head to the drawer that holds your swimming wear. You throw Bucky’s trunks on the bed without care and grab your suit without looking at it.

You lean in the doorway of the bathroom as Bucky washes his face off, scowling.

“Can’t we get breakfast first?”

“You can get breakfast while wearing it.”

“You get off on humiliating me, that’s it, isn’t it?”

He barks a laugh as he turns to face you, “You think this is me trying to humiliate you?”

You don’t respond as you keep your face stoic. He approaches and his large hands come around your neck, cradling the back of your head as he pulls your face closer to his. He crashes his lips to yours, the minty feel still lingering as he licks into your mouth, pushing you against the wall as he backs you up, his hands keeping your head from hitting it. You return his fervent kiss, your hands coming up to hold his forearms, despite your annoyance before he pulls away suddenly and leaves you wanting.

You lick your lips as you catch your breath and meet his eye.

“If I wanted to humiliate you, sweetheart, you’d know.”

—

When you’re both done getting ready for the day, you having taken your sweet time to get into the bathing suit, you slowly open the bathroom door you had shut and locked behind you nearly fifteen minutes ago.

You’re overly aware of your belly and the jiggle of your ass and thighs with each step you take.

You hate this swimsuit and you swear you’d burn it if you weren’t sure he’d take you skinny dipping should it mysteriously disappear.

The growl that emanates from Bucky when he sees you genuinely startles you and when his big hands grab you by the waist, you feel that familiar heat growing deep within you.

His hands move down to grab your ass, kneading the ample flesh he finds there as you push against him.

Your breasts are nearly spilling out of the too small cups and though the band of the thong-like bottoms can be pulled to sit high on your hips, it really does nothing to hide or cover your stomach the way you’d like. And the tropical blue color brings too much attention.

It’s not that you’re self conscious, though you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a bit, it’s just way too revealing for you. You hate that everyone will get to see parts of you you don’t like showing. You feel like you’re giving away parts of your privacy.

But you know Bucky doesn’t care.

As long as he’s the only one who gets to touch you, he’d happily let the world feast their eyes on you like this, show them what they’ll never have.

“This is ridiculous,” you complain for the tenth time.

“You look fuckin’ sexy,” he purrs, letting his hands run back up your body.

“Ugh,” you groan as you push him again, swiping your towel off the bed and slipping on your slides as you pass him and leave the room.

You can feel his eyes on you as he follows behind, his gaze seemingly glued to your body.

You walk downstairs quietly, still unsurprised to find no one else up. Everyone else had stayed up well into the early hours of the morning last night, drinking and chatting, playing stupid games. You and Bucky had been taking part until around midnight when he decided he was done keeping his hands to himself. He took you back to your room upstairs where you both stayed the rest of the night while the party continued on downstairs. You were grateful the loud chatting seemed to drown out your and Bucky’s moans.

You threw your things in an empty bag Nat had left on the table and then followed Bucky into the kitchen to make a quick breakfast.

You were hoping you could get out and into the lake before anyone could see you, so you hurriedly toasted some bread and sliced an avocado while Bucky made eggs. You threw everything together on a paper plate, leaving the used pan on the stove and had Bucky get water while you seasoned the food.

You had the plate in one hand and your bag in the other as Bucky carried the cooler with drinks out behind you.

It was only nine and yet the heat was already sweltering.

The perks of being at a lake house, though, is you don’t have to go far to get to the lake.

The setup from yesterday and the day before was still there as you set your stuff down in one of the big wooden loungers and then put the food down on the long table. The dock was just behind and to the right of you as you sat on the wooden bench attached to the table.

Bucky set the cooler down at the end of the table before taking a seat across from you on the opposite bench.

“You were quick to come out here.”

“Yeah, I’m praying no one sees me in this atrocity,” you say as you pick up your toast and take a bite.

He scoffs before grabbing his own piece.

You both eat fairly quickly, having been hungry from your late night activities, and soon you’re watching as Bucky strips off his tank top.

He grabs your towels and the sunscreen, handing the bottle to you and expecting you to follow him as he walks onto the dock.

You do so after taking another drink of your water and forcing yourself up.

He sits on the edge of the dock, his legs in the clear blue water as he waits for you, the towels thrown down haphazardly, ready for you to use them when you’re done swimming.

You move to sit behind him, opening the bottle and squeezing some sunscreen into your hands.

You rub it between your hands for a second before you start to apply it to Bucky’s back.

More and more until you’ve got him covered, massaging his tense muscles as you do. The groans that slip past his lips let you know he’s enjoying it.

You apply more to your hands as you run them over his shoulders and down his chest. You’re pressed right up against his back as you work. The lower your hands slip, the deeper his groans. You smile to yourself and slip one hand past the band of his trunks teasingly, running gently across the top of his pelvis before you pull away and start to work on his right arm.

“There, you’re all done,” you say as you let your hands run down his solid back once more.

You move back and Bucky brings his legs out of the water as he turns to you.

“You’re not.”

He pushes you to lay down on your towel as he moves to straddle you, the water still on his legs sending shivers across your skin.

He grabs the sunscreen and starts to deliver the same attention to you.

He’s obsessed with touching you. Your softness is his favorite thing, and as he applies the sunscreen to your exposed torso, he really takes his time feeling you, enjoying the goosebumps that raise, the tickles and shivers you try to hide. He runs his hands all over you. You’ve closed your eyes as the sun was shining in them and gasp when you feel Bucky’s hands on your breasts, squeezing them before you feel his lips on you, too. You can’t help the moan that leaves you under his attention.

“Turn over,” he says firmly and headily.

You don’t even think to not listen.

He gets more sunscreen as he covers your backsides, rubbing it in with perfect pressure. Another moan slips as he squeezes your neck with one hand, the other trailing down your spine.

And when he’s done, his fingers move to easily undo the string holding your top together, running his hands up and down your back before he leans further down and starts kissing your bare skin.

“Bucky,” you whine, stopping yourself from sitting up knowing your chest will be on complete display.

“Everyone’s sleeping, no one’s gonna see.”

You want to argue, but you can’t bring yourself to. Even if you did, he always gets his way in the end.

You feel him move the flimsy fabric covering you and you really are moving out of thoughtless desire as you bend your knees and hips up slightly before he starts prodding you with his fingers, your wetness evident as your cunt glistens.

You groan as he slips two thick digits into you, pumping his fingers in and out, curling them just right.

“Fuck,” you whimper under your breath.

You’re so lost in his touch you don’t expect it when his fingers move to part your folds open, your slick hole on display for him as he wastes no time and pushes into you with his aching cock.

You moan into the towel beneath you as he stretches your pussy.

The position is unexpectedly delightful as he hits you deeper and deeper with his every thrust.

You swear you could cry with how fucking good it feels.

“You like that baby?” he pants, “Like having this big dick inside your tight fucking pussy.”

A cry leaves you as you nod your head emphatically.

His speed picks up as his words get dirtier and you get closer and closer to the orgasm you can feel building.

You’re both sweating, Bucky more than you, as you fist the towel and groan loudly through grit teeth.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re aware anyone could come out at anytime and see, but you don’t have the will to care as Bucky keeps fucking into you, his hands tight on your hips as he uses you. Another hard thrust has you careening over the edge, moans and mewls leaving your lips as your toes curl and your walls squeeze his thick cock as you come.

Bucky doesn’t let up as he fucks you through it, hips pummeling against your ass over and over until he growls deep in his chest, his hips twitching as he let’s himself go inside you. His grunts and moans fill your ears until he eventually slows completely and pulls out, slapping your ass as he gets up.

You lay there, trying to catch your breath from a moment before you fix your bottoms and roll over, holding your top together.

“I fuckin’ hate you,” you breathe heavily.

He laughs to himself at your words as you slowly get up. He takes his time adjusting himself in his trunks before he turns on you, grabbing your face and tilting your head up in his direction. He leans down and brushes his stubbly cheek against your soft one as he speaks in your ear, “I know you fuckin’ wish you did.”

He keeps his hold on you as he turns his face and takes your lips hotly in his own. He walks you back. And back. And then grabs your loose top from your hands as you gasp, allowing his tongue to slip past your lips. He moves his hand to grab your ass as he holds you against him, your full breasts pressing against his built chest.

He walks you back once more, smiling wickedly into the kiss. Then suddenly your stomach drops as your eyes shoot open when you feel your feet leave the dock. You're under water in a second and quickly swim back up to break the surface, a scowl etched across your face as you struggle to get your breathing back.

Before you can say anything, Bucky joins you in the water, jumping in and splashing you as he does.

You fight the urge to try and hold him down as you swim to the ladder and blindly search the deck for your top. It may be skimpy, but it’s better than nothing.

Bucky’s arms circle you as he pulls you back before his large palm crawls up your chest to cup your breast. Squeezing your flesh before he starts thumbing and tweaking your nipple.

You hate that your body reacts so fucking quickly to him as you feel yourself getting horny all over again. His lips are on your neck as your ass is against him. Your eyes close as a soft moan falls from you when he moves his attention to your other breast.

The creaking of the deck has your eyes shooting open as you attempt to cover your chest. You see Steve walking up, his chest gleaming with sweat as his running shirt is held in his hands.

You want to just let yourself sink under the water but Bucky’s hold on you doesn’t loosen for a second, in fact it only grows tighter, more possessive the closer Steve gets.

“Morning, lovebirds,” Steve greets with a smirk.

You know Bucky won’t let you go so instead of struggling and bringing attention to your nakedness, you grab his hand under the water and pull his arm across your chest as you hold him there.

Bucky wears a smirk of his own as he palms your tit and feels your body’s instant reaction.

“Hey,” Bucky replies, squeezing your breast again knowingly.

Your eyes widen when you see the twitch in Steve’s shorts, his prominent bulge growing as he stares down at you two.

You risk peering up at him and meet his eye instantly as you do. You swallow thickly as you look back down, trying to keep your composure. You know he can see everything, but as long as no one acknowledges that out loud, you can at least pretend that he can’t.

And then, of course, Bucky speaks again.

“So, you enjoy the show, pal?”

#dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky barnes x curvy!reader #bucky barnes x curvy!reader #bucky barnes x plus size!reader #bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky smut #dark!bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #dark bucky barnes smut #dark!bucky barnes x plus size!reader #bucky x plus size!reader #bucky x curvy!reader

[ganondoodle]

more thoughts

big part of why i loathe what totk did with its story and lore is that it tremendously hurts botw in retrospect

i said that before and mentioned all of these points before as well but i just have to mention it again; how totk did away with all the little mysteries in botw, like the ancient hero looking kinda strange leading to lots of interesting theories- WHOOP its a sonau mix guy revealed through a collectable and its straight up said by purah/impa that that is the ancient hero .. like it was an always known fact ......

the sonau ruins in botw of a long gone group of people that lived in the forest of phirone - WHOOP those are just monuments built by hylians in memory of the sonau and actually their real architecure isnt rare and few but everywhere en masse and doesnt resemble the ones from botw at all, aside from some vague dragon motive; theres more stuff of the oh so sadly gone and not at all mysterious anymore sonau left than there was of the ancient shiekah in botw (and now it doesnt exist at all anymore, who cares about them, how important they were, or this worlds history, especially zelda, she never cared about shiekah or history that wasnt about sonau :)))) )

one of the biggest crimes, to me, personally, is what totk did with the dragons not actively mind you, but still changed my view of them and i hate it; i always saw them as these ethereal otherwordly spirits older than time itself (i liked the idea of them being like a final evolution of the dragons from skyward sword, tho of course i dont need that to be canon lol) and then totk comes along and .. the newly revealed -always been there super cool- race of people from the sky is heavily based on their designs ... and they have armor sets imitating the dragons ... and have ... magical never heard of before stones that turn people into .... dragons .... i get how that can be an interesting thing for people to connect but for me personally ... its a mystery that REALLY shouldnt have been solved, at all, or even touched, the fact that you knew nothing about the dragons other than they are here was what made them feel so much more divine and awe inspiring (i know you could try to think of it being the other way around, the sonau worshipping the dragons so much they dedicated all of their cultur around them ((but then again were is that anywhere, if they worshipped them so much then they sure didnt matter in any of what we say of them in memories..)) ... but the sonau designs, the armor ... the stones ... its all such an obvious connection ...) and its really hard for me to ignore it, i actively have to work now to keep seeing the dragons as these untouchable ethereal spirits instead of some sonau guy eating a fucking stone

and yet again its like .. can you really blame me for feeling weird about the sonau/dislike them when ... theres nothing that WASNT touched by the sonau, they already had tech way above the level of the shiekah, they were in the sky, the surface AND the underground all along, theirs is the actually important influence on the history of the world, they have been in every place that was once important, hell they were in every place were a settlement of people is EVEN THE FEW YEARS OLD TABURASA (tarrey town), their buildings look like they were abandoned 10 years ago, all their shit is still working, they founded (this) hyrule, they are the royals, they are the gods, they are the dragons, the ancient hero was a sonau mix clad in waht totk made out to be their signature design elements-

we had recordings from that time (tapestry) and even PEOPLE (the monks) and yet the sonau were a total mystery? even though their culture was literally still there when the shiekah built their tech?

what gets me escpeially is how .. they didnt NEED to erase anything shiekah, they didnt need to act like they never existed, they didnt need to make the sonau be the coolest guys ever and were so desperate to get that into your thinking everyone in the game is obsessed with them and tells you why you should be obsessed too

like am i just insane or is it a rather .. obvious connection to make that the shiekah found the tech of the sonau and built theirs inspired by what they could find, it was so old at that point that its non functional or even recognizable in the present, but when the shiekah found it they could still research it; given how the shiekah built multiple shrines and puzzles to them WITHTIN ruins that, in botw, were sonau ruins, i thought that was the logical line to draw and a good way to connect them while still leaving the sonau to be a mysterious ... mystery (this is what im going for in my rewrite btw)

also another thought, if the ancient shiekah could see the future to a degree they built stuff to prepare the next hero for the next calamity that would happen in thousands of years .. how did they never find out about gan? i know they were more about the future than the past but like ... were they really so stupid to see that the calamity will come back just the same from the same place and NOT investigate?? ESPECIALLY considering that the weird half sonau ancient hero was literally THERE when they saw the furture and built all of that for it???? the sonau werent gone gone in any sense and you CANNOT tell me that the shiekah jsut ignored this weird half whatever looking guy outfitted in an aesthetic and culture that wasnt obviously present anymore and clearly connected to somethign else, with probably clear scars were whatever buildings were lifted into the skies- SOMEHOW- and monoments LITERALLY STILL READABLE IN THE PRESENT that tells you about all theshit that went down?? even if you hid them with some weird mechanisms, are you realyl not gonen investigate?? also why hide it anyway?? if its supposed to be a monument to the sonau why the fuck would you built stuff to HIDE the information from it?? gan cant reach it anyway bc hes KINDA STUCK you are telling me the group of people with a vision of the future and high tech stuff that are famously obsessed with the stars and sky didnt see any of the sonau shit floating around there?? ohoho but it was hidden by magic uwu WHY bc you wanted to wait thousands of years for the "right" link to come around?? so you let thousands of people suffer and die just bc you wanted a specific guy? why not the ancient hero instead?? and solve the problem right then and there?? or would that mess too much with the history all of the sudden, you didnt care about messing anythign else up before either

its all just so messy if you start to think even a little bit about whatever the fuck happened in totk and i ahte it, it solves stuff that didnt need solving, ignores or even erases stuff that didnt need erasing and was all ready to go and be more explored, its infuriating

(also additional thought about the previous rant where i mentioned how characters, esepcially zelda, regress HARD in chaarcter development) someone mentioend this about link and ... YEAH, in botw the main thing was the connection between link and zelda, how they didnt like each other at first and at the end were THE brotp; in totk, aside from zelda mentioning how strong link is, theres nothing, the link that was revealed in botw to only be so silent and expressionless (not fully but like supressing everythign rly) bc of the immense pressure that was put on him is now just the most importanest sword guy who didnt even shed a tear when you get the memories of zelda basically killing herself; or did he know she will just be returned to normal with no harm or memory done no problemo in the end?? i dont WANT link to talk mind you, i never want to hear him talk tbh, i like him being mostly silent aside from his grunts when he climbs a cliff or soothes a horse (i go non verbal in high stress situations too) but you could have shown him be affected by it at all, or idk DO ANYTHIGN WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP they are best friends whod die for each other but that doesnt actually matter in anything bc he just do what sword man does-

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #it really is a replacement for botw isnt it #might as well not have happened

[kalegreeneyes]

Feb 1 - Chocolate - 971 words - @wolfstarmicrofic

“I don’t think you understand how important this is,” Sirius stresses, hands fisting in his own hair and pulling at it in his frustration.

“Why does Moony’s birthday present matter so much this year?” James asks, flopping back on his bed in their dorm while he watches Sirius pace.

“Because it just does okay? It does,” Sirius groans, spinning in place to continue pacing in the opposite direction.

It matters so much to Sirius this year because he finally cast his patronus about a month ago and hasn’t told anyone about it. It matters because he’s finally realized why Moony is different to him than Prongs and Wormtail. When he holed himself up in the room of requirement and ran through his happiest memories until he managed to finally, finally land on one that worked, it just so happened to be the one of Remus's face when they told him about having become animagi for him. He had looked right at Sirius like he just knew it was his idea, and the look of sheer awe on his face had made Sirius feel more important than he ever had in his entire life. So, Sirius had focused on that look in his mind’s eye until the feeling it gave him filled his entire body and burst from the tip of his wand. Sirius had watched with amazement as what he initially thought was a dog, namely Padfoot, started running in the air around the room. Then, it got a bit closer, and Sirius’s heart had nearly given out when he realized that it wasn’t Padfoot at all. It was Moony.

Sirius’s entire world shifted on its axis in that moment. He knew there was something different; something that kept him up at night more frequently than not, something that had him staring at Remus whenever he got the chance–but he just hadn’t put it together. He hadn’t even considered that he could like other blokes until then, but as the light of the patronus faded and left Sirius cast in dim candlelight, it was glaringly obvious that not only could he, he did. So, naturally, he’s spent the entire past month panicking and trying desperately to figure out if there’s any chance at all that Remus could feel the same. It’s made things weird. Very weird. He’s come to the conclusion that he has to rip the bandaid off and show Remus his patronus, but he’s absolutely terrified that it might ruin their friendship. 

“I have something…special for him,” Sirius explains, keeping it vague, “but I’m worried that it might ruin his birthday. And everything else, so. I don’t know what to get him as a back-up present just in case the first thing goes horribly wrong, and it’s tomorrow, and I’m freaking the fuck out!”

“I’ve noticed,” James chuckles unhelpfully. “I don’t really know how to help if you won’t tell me what you’re giving him that might ruin his birthday? But, I mean, you could give it to him on another day?”

“NO! I can’t! It’s kind of a big deal, so it obviously has to be on his birthday!”

“Alright, well. I can’t help you there, but I do have a solid solution for his back-up present,” James smirks, holding up the invisibility cloak in one hand and the Marauders’ Map in the other.

*****

Remus follows Sirius through the doorway into the room of requirement long after everyone else has gone to bed on the night of his birthday, feeling a bit nervous and a lot confused. Sirius has been treating him strangely for the entire past month, and Remus hasn’t been able to get any sense of why. It isn’t like he can become an illegal animagus for him a second time. 

They walk into the center of the open space the room created for them, a few couches and flickering candelabras around the outside of the inner circle where Sirius stops to stand across from him. Sirius just stands there biting his lip and wringing his hands until Remus can’t take it anymore.

“Sirius, why did you bring me here?” he asks, frustration slipping into his tone. It’s been a hard month of not knowing what’s going on.

“I just- I wanted to give you your present, but it had to be in private,” Sirius starts. He swallows harshly, uncertainty apparent in his gaze. “Before I show you, I just want you to know that this doesn’t have to change anything.”

“Okay?” Remus says cautiously.

“Okay. Okay, here goes,” Sirius says on a deep breath, then holds his wand out and closes his eyes. After a few moments, the stunning blue light of a patronus pours out of his wand and fills the room. Remus blinks a few times to adjust, watching dumbfoundedly as the unmistakable form of a wolf sprints over his head. His heart starts hammering in his chest as he brings his gaze back down to Sirius, standing there across from him, looking small and scared.

“Is that–?” Remus asks. Sirius bites his lip and nods with a thick swallow. 

Remus is across the room in a split second, hands on either side of Sirius’s face to pull him into a kiss that was a long time coming. Time stands still for them both, and they’re breathless when they pull away.

“I never could have guessed,” Remus laughs against his mouth. “I thought your present was going to be something normal, like-”

“Chocolate?” Sirius asks, shoving his hands in his pockets and pulling out two full handfuls of chocolate frogs.

Remus laughs and laughs, taking them out of his hands. The next time they kiss, sprawled out on one of the couches five minutes later, Remus could swear that the taste of chocolate has never been sweeter.

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar microfic

[thiscrying]

Bad idea!

Kenny Mccormick x F!reader

𓂃𖤐 .* 𖥔៹ ࣪｡✧˚₊ ⊹

➟ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: NSFW, aged up characters!!!

➟ 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: "darling, are you ready for more?"

➟ 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: Kenny Mccormick x F!reader

𓂃𖤐 .* 𖥔៹ ࣪｡✧˚₊ ⊹

You had an ex from three years ago, who you never really got over and was constantly on your mind, you had sex a few times after breaking up but he never really seemed to care about it.

It was almost 3 am and you miss him really bad, you even consider calling him but thinks about it and thinks this might be a bad idea.

With a joint and your phone in your hands, you take a hit and think about Kenny, his soft lips and the way his body felt on top of you.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad if I called him, right? you wanted him, you desired him. Deep down you knew it wasn't going to stop so soon.

As soon as you click the call button, you feel a slight regret rising in your brain, it was too late to come back now. You're completely pulled out of your thoughts with a husky voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey sugar tits"

Oh lord.

Maybe i was just calling him to satisfy a late night craving, like i always did. This all started when i was drunk and decided to call him.

It was a bad idea to think I could stop.

"Hey kenny, i was wondering if you could come over"

"On my way, but what makes you call me this late at night, hm?"

"You'll see." You said and then hung up.

He knew what you wanted, and you also knew that you missed him more than you should, you would have walked away if his sex wasn't so strong, in fact the best you've ever had.

After a few minutes, Kenny shows up at your door, giving you a slow kiss. Wasting no time, he carries you to the bedroom.

"You look so pretty moaning my name with my cock in your mouth. I missed you." Says Kenny looking at you and approaching, he licks his lips and looks at you from top to bottom.

You both knew that you shouldn't be doing that, but what was the use of getting so far and everything ending up in vain?

Without thinking too much, Kenny quickly threw you against the wall while you stared at his beautiful ocean eyes, pressing your bodies against each other and putting your knees between your thighs. Without hesitation, your lips collide and the blonde asks for passage with his hands to your neck. Gently, Kenny pulls you to the bed, getting on top of you. How could he attract me like that? I really don't know and honestly? That was my last concern

"Look at you... so pretty. I'm gonna make you look like a mess, absolutely ruin you, slut." He said, and took one last look at the bottom of my eyes. Before you even think, you were already kissing once again, you quickly have a vague memory that you had sworn to yourself that you would never even look to Kenny's eyes again, you wouldn't make that mistake again. But as long as you were together, nothing really mattered, you both just wanted your bodies together again. Fuck, why did he have to be so goddamn hot?

You couldn't stop, not so soon, you were addicted to each other's bodies and maybe even wondering how you got there, anyway, fuck everything, I just want him on top of me now.

Kenny puts his hand under your shirt, giving a slight lift in your bra, thus giving way to his hands that, in turn, played with your hard pierced nipples. His kisses became more intense and went down to your neck, varying between kisses and hickeys as he started undressing you.

For a brief moment, it crossed my mind and I found that there was a reason why I always made the same mistakes: He was addictive. A fucked up drug that made me want more, and honestly? I would die of a happy overdose if Kenny were the cause. I'd always went back to him, in the end of the day.

"Show me how much you want me, how much you missed me." he said, running his pale, cold hands over your body, sending shivers all over you.

"Try not to moan too loudly, babe." He declared grabbing my thighs and kissing the inside of them, pushing my legs apart and running his fingers all over my skin, causing goosebumps all over my body. "I don't want everyone to hear my girl moaning, I'm kind of selfish in that sense."

He says, as he pushed away the last piece of clothing I had left and introduced his fingers into my cunt. My mind turned into a complete white and I could only think about how much I wanted that boy to fuck me.

My moans echoed through the room as he licked my clit. "M-more Ken, I want more."

You felt a smirk as Kenny introduced another finger into you, you felt your whole body electric and it didn't take long for your orgasm to spread throughout your body, making your legs shake.

You knew it was a bad idea needing him so late.

𓂃𖤐 .* 𖥔៹ ࣪｡✧˚₊ ⊹

HEY BITCHESS!!! IM BACK 😈

This was inspired by @kenny-the-ken and @n0tangeliccc

They're both amazing writers, check on their profile

Sorry this is short! I'm trying to improve! 💞

#kenny mccormick x reader #kenny mcormick x reader #kenny mccormick smut #kenny mccormick hcs #kenny mccormick #south park #south park kenny #kenny south park #sp kenny #kenny smut #girl in red #bad idea #smut #south park smut

[try-set-me-on-fire]

just really needed a hug sort of hug

for the soft prompts <3

Uhhhh this is a little angsty and vibey sorry about that! Set a few years in the future in a world where the lightning strike had bigger and longer lasting impact on Buck than it did in canon. Send me soft prompts! The rest I’ve done are on a03!

Eddie is pinching the skin by his elbow, the shiny part where it's new. Well, a few months old at this point, Chimney supposes, but he still gently smacks the man's bicep as he passes him to sit at the table.

"Quit it, Diaz."

Eddie makes a face at him but he puts his hand flat on the table. He then makes another, more stressed out face, and waves the hand in the air in a vague but emphatic motion.

"I want to call Buck again."

"You were on the phone half an hour ago."

"Yep." His palm presses into the wood again. "I am aware of that."

Chim hooks his left ankle over his right knee. "You two ever get word…"

"Every test came back fine- within normal- they didn't find anything. They have no fucking idea why his blood pressure dropped like that." Eddie crosses his arms. "Between the two of us we've funded the Los Angeles ambulance budget for the fucking year and the best advice anyone had was for him to 'rest and drink plenty of fluids.'"

"Shit."

"Mhmm." Eddie's knee is bouncing anxiously, and he looks exhausted. He has looked exhausted, frankly, since a fourth story floor went out from under him in June and he gained the dubious honor of being the first member of 118 A shift to sustain third degree burns. He doesn't pinch at it again, but he's gripping the scarred bend of his arm tight enough that it might fall under Buck's strict instructions to tell him to leave it alone. "He shouldn't have been back at work yet."

"He seemed fine, Eddie."

Eddie exhales, shaky and unpleasant. "He seemed like he was getting better from the flu, and then Chris found him on the kitchen floor. He seemed better on Thursday and then-" he shakes his head, breathes in, blows the air out slowly. "I've told myself that a lot today - he was ok when I left this morning, he’s fine, he’s texting me, it’s going to be ok. But he was ok when I left those mornings too." He blows out air again, and it whistles through his clenched teeth.

Chimney thinks Eddie wouldn't appreciate it, but he thinks very hard and loud that the universe should give the Diaz family a fucking break. He extends his leg so his boot taps into Eddie's.

"He was doing so good- he felt good in a way he hasn't in a long time." Eddie makes direct eye contact for the first time this conversation. "We were talking about him working towards recertification. Coming back here. He really does love the call center and he’s good at it, but he misses being a part of the team, still. And then-" he makes an unhappy little sound. "He exhausted himself taking care of me and now this… We can both say 'healing isn't linear' until our mouths bleed but he’s almost back to where he was right after the strike and- and he's disappointed, I know he is and just- just not knowing what life is going to be like one day to the next- It's just been… a rough fucking year." Eddie's mouth turns up in a real grimace of a smile. "But we have experience with those. So… we'll just keep getting through it."

Two memories play out in Chimney's head.

First: A beach day, sometime in the first summer after Buck and Eddie were married. The jeep had arrived first, but as Chimney did what Maddie referred to as his Dad Jog to the trunk of his own car to start unloading he noticed that none of its occupants had got out yet. From the place he was standing he could see Buck, lit up golden in the afternoon glow, twisted sideways in the passenger seat and gesturing wildly as he talked, absolute glee written all over his face. Eddie in the driver's seat and Chris, unbuckled in the back, leaned their whole bodies towards him like plants seeking photosynthesis. Chim had wondered if the sun had been lonely before it had planets to orbit it, and then laughed at himself for being poetic, and anyway he wasn't sure that's the order the universe formed in. Buck would know, he'd have to ask him.

Second: Thursday, when Buck had made it through pneumonia like a champ and then gone back to his job at dispatch only to take a nap in the break room that no one could really wake him up from. It gets more ethically dubious by the year for any of the 118 to treat each other what with their tangled web of marriages and less official family ties, but Maddie had sounded panicked over the radio, and they’d been the closest first responders, and Chimney is certain that even if they weren’t nothing could have stopped them from coming for their brother, son, husband. Chimney remembers Eddie kneeling in front of the couch, the exact quiet tone of his voice as he’d said “Honey, I’m right here,” and the lethargic movement of Buck’s hand coming to weakly grip his shoulder. But the real thing, the clip that’s going to stay in his mind forever and repeat without permission, is looking up from establishing a line in the ambulance and watching how Eddie was curled down towards his partner as he tried to keep a flash of blue appearing between fluttering eyelids. Eddie was talking and Chimney doesn’t remember any of the words because he was also stroking his thumb over Buck’s brow and Chimney can’t stop thinking that he has never seen a human being touch another that gently.

Eddie’s phone buzzes and he looks at it, huffing a laugh and scrubbing a hand over his face. “He’s asking about pasta shapes. Wait- is he in the kitchen?” He frowns and hits dial, and the phone only gets out a single ring before Buck picks up.

“Hey,” his voice drifts, tinny, into the room and Chimney feels some tight little thing in his chest relax a little.

“You better not be cooking, Buck, you’re on speaker so I have back up if I need to yell at you.”

“I’m not, I’m not,” Buck laughs. “I’m exploiting child labor.”

Distantly, Christopher says “Hi, dad.”

“And you’re not helping at all?” Eddie raises his eyebrow and Chimney bets Buck can see it, miles away at their home.

“Chris is doing all the work, I swear, and we’re just gonna dump on the sauce I made, uh- Wednesday? Tuesday? Whatever, I can supervise boiling water. I didn’t even pick a pasta shape, c’mon, farfalle or fusilli?”

“Fusilli. You should be resting, Buck.”

Buck sighs, staticky over the speakers. “All I did today was move from the couch to the kitchen table, and I walked very slowly. I’m wrapped in a blanket and everything.” There’s a faint rustling sound and then Buck continues in a quieter voice. “I promised I’d tell you if something felt wrong. I’m alright, Eddie.”

Eddie bites his lips, and then takes the call off speaker and steps towards the kitchen. “You’re ok? You feel alright?” He spins his silicone wedding band around his finger as he listens. “Yeah. Yeah, before you wake up, probably.” He says “Buck” and Chimney always wondered how Eddie said that name and made it mean so much, folding in care and exasperation and adoration like he’s laminating butter between layers of dough. “Alright, I love you. I love you. Yeah. Tomorrow.”

He hangs up and as he exhales the alarm goes off overhead, because of course it does. Eddie starts towards the stairs but Chimney hurries forward and grabs him first and pulls him into the tightest hug he can. Eddie clings onto him for a moment, and they can only spare seconds for this attempt at comfort but he looks grateful when he pulls back, looks a little less tense.

"I love you, bud," Chimney says, and Eddie actually laughs at him as they head down the stairs. Chim swipes at the back of his brother in-law in-law's head as they pull on their gear and load into the engine and Eddie dodges with the practiced ease of a man with siblings. When they're in their seats and headed to the scene, though, Eddie leans forward and knocks his elbow into Chimney's knee.

"Love you, too." Eddie smiles. Three silhouettes in a car. A gentle touch. Things are going to be ok.

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #chimney han #911 fox #my writing

[earthstellar]

I love Last Bot Standing so much

because Old Rodimus has so much potential:

-First time he stands up and his back strut makes concerning noises and is sort of sore for no apparent reason/his knee joints give out: oh god oh fuck I'm old oh no OH NO

-First time he realises he doesn't have the energy or motivation to run around with the others: finds that he doesn't mind as much as he thought he would; he lets the others explore and enjoys hearing them messing with each other in the distance

-First time he realises he's forgetting details about long-past missions, lost a few names and places: After worrying there might be something wrong with his processor, he vaguely remembers something Ratchet said a long, long time ago about data decay-- and tries to calm himself with the thought that it's normal, data doesn't last forever-- but he still stays up all night thinking of everyone he never wants to forget, scared he's already forgotten some and can't tell

-First time he notices all the new cracks in his faceplate: He thinks he looks a bit like Kup now, and it makes him happy and sad at the same time

-First time he goes on a scouting mission and has to take a break or he knows he won't make it back alone: no more solo missions? maybe. maybe he never planned on surviving this long, and doesn't know what to do by himself

-First time he struggles to fully boot up from recharge: He realises one day he really won't be getting up again, and with no medics and no maintenance materials, that day may be soon. He survived the war, and all that came after, but nobody can survive time. He's okay with that. He was a Prime, once. He had a good run.

-First time a younger bot calls him old: He can't help but remember when he said the same things to so many old, grumpy bots back in the day. He's a little ruffled by it, surprised, because he still doesn't really think of himself as old. But the kiddos aren't wrong. Inside, it makes him a little happy. Maybe he can do something good for them while he's still around.

-First time he realises he's just not physically able to flame on anymore, due to age or lack of maintenance/fuel or all of the above: He realises he might be losing ability, and it depresses him for a bit until he decides to focus on what he still can do. He can remember an old bot from a while back, who started losing some function. He respected that bot; He kept going as long as he could. Rodimus doesn't want to be too grumpy in his old age. He'll keep on going, too.

-First time he settles down for recharge and gets a moment of actual quiet, the younger bots are all outside together doing a "camping night", the rest are already recharging, and it's just him and the stars for the first time in a long time: He looks out towards the general direction Cybertron is probably in (he's not 100% sure), and briefly, aside from everything else, despite everything, is happy he's lived long enough for closure. The war ended. Society, for a while, was recovering (or trying to). He went on adventures. He saw and did impossible things, with people he genuinely loved.

He has a lot of regrets, but it's over now.

And that's OK. He's cool with that, although he wishes he weren't as sore or tired.

He's had a long, long life. He made a few good calls, now and then, here and there.

And he plans to do whatever Rodimus things he can, right up until there's no more fuel, no more memories, no more time.

#maccadam #mtmte #last bot standing #maccadams #rodimus #idw rodimus #lost light

[copperbadge]

I know that it’s been a Very Long Time but do you ever get terribly nostalgic for old/less active fandoms? I confess I recently came back to tumblr and saw that I followed you. I was like, of course Sam storyteller, the Bucky guy. But then I got a hankering for my older and dearer by far love Ianto Jones and went back to reread some of the greatest hits and I remembered. You are not the Loki guy. You are the Ianto guy, to me, and I can’t believe I forgot that. I miss that fandom so much it was so fucking. Toxic. The Gwen bashing, I simply cannot romanticize it in good conscience. But the fic quality and diversity was, dare I say it, nearly unparalleled (in my heart). Like when it hit it really hit you know? A golden age of trashy sci fi indeed. I miss my dead welsh son. Sorry to ramble in your ask box about the dubious old days

Anon, I am so sorry, a bunch of my asks got pushed way down in the inbox and then I forgot they were there, so apologies this is MONTHS late in getting posted.

I, eh, I don't really get nostalgic for old fandoms. Usually I leave them for a reason, but even if I just drift away, my experience of a fandom is pretty fundamentally different from most because of my higher profile. There are things I can't do or say in a fandom that other people could, and there are things that happen to me outside of my control. They're not even necessarily bad things, just stuff like...I'll write a fic in a new fandom, and people from my previous fandom will start engaging with the canon because I did. So often, rather than just falling away from a fandom, I'll leave a fandom and drag a bunch of people with me. They might not even leave the older fandom, but they come along to the new one too.

And often the wanks that pull people in without their consent simply don't touch me because there's a portion of fandom that is either scared of me (or my readers) or just doesn't want anything to do with me. I can't determine which.

Torchwood's a pretty good case in point -- the Gwen bashing was extreme. I wasn't a fan of Gwen but what I saw from the antigwenallies was really, really gross. Still, even though I wrote fic about Gwen and engaged in meta around her presence in the show, I avoided them and thus had exactly one interaction with them ever, which was when they posted up a fic of mine as "anti-Gwen" and I asked them to remove it and never recc anything of mine again. They did, and that was the end of that. Nobody ever came to my posts to attack her or me. Likewise, there was one really, really aggressive anti-Ianto wanker, but she never engaged with me or even as far as I know talked about me, despite the fact I was a huge Ianto fan and wrote a lot of fic about him. I really hated the shit she said, but I also didn't see any value in arguing, so I left her alone and she left me alone. (I won't name her because I checked up on her a few years ago and it turns out she was struggling with serious mental health issues that she'd gotten a lot of help for, and felt really terrible about the things she'd done, so I'm actually quite proud of her. But if you know you know.)

I also just...have a bad memory, so I often don't remember what happened in a fandom, or even sometimes that I was in a fandom. Most of the memories I do have are either vaguely warm and friendly, or "avoid this fandom/person at all costs" based in a negative interaction (which I sometimes don't remember the details of).

So yeah...I mean, Torchwood ended pretty terribly so I don't miss it in part because I try not to think about it. Generally if I have a good time in a fandom and then leave it, it's because I simply said all I had to say there. But I'm usually looking forward, not back, just because the past is a bit of a fog bank for me, most of the time.

#fandom #meta

[averygayplant]

Ninjago hcs because I'm gay and sad-

Post-Seabound hc! Jay spent a few months alone as a sailor following vague sightings and leads on Nya as the water dragon. After his first and last close call in a storm that threw him overboard (in which he's secretly convinced a ✨certain somebody✨ intervened in his near demise), Jay woke up alive somehow on the shore of the lighthouse island and decided there and then that he was done looking.

^As an add on to this, when they went looking for him in crystallized, they had to track down Ronin, as he was the last person to have radio contact with Jay. They teamed up to find Nya because Ronin is a morally grey, personally driven man of ambiguity who respected Nya quite a bit and Jay was fully desperate enough to take him on his word. (Shh, I know he was in prison okay, he totally got himself out within a few days, he's slippery)

Lloyd had to redistinguish his own fears and reflexes after Morro. For a while, he'd flinch at the sound of sloshing water or if anything splashed on him without him expecting it and nearly walked off of tall places without thinking several times- gave the others a heart attack every time he did.

A lot of Lloyd's underlying Oni traits manifested after Crystalized- including the capability to purr, which now happens any time someone runs their fingers through his hair long enough.

United hc- Jay started a Sonic Underground style musical glamrock rebellion against Imperium oppression after getting flung in the merge, and has been rock and rolling ever since (if you want to be nice to our poor boys Cole got flung with him and now they rock and roll together)

I've said this one before but idc I'm fucking right; Zane has a collection of onsies, most of them being snow based animals. His favorite is the snow leopard one (he lets Pixal borrow them frequently)

Jay is genderqueer, so while he/him pronouns are generally preferred, occasionally being referred to with she/her and as 'Nya's wife' is extremely validating.

I've said this one before too but you can fight me, I'm still right- Kai hates large bodies of water, but he loves the rain, and has gotten himself deathly ill frolicking autistically in it on multiple occasions.

When Pixal started dreaming, she was quite confused, and went to Zane, slightly concerned that her memory had been corrupted some how. After a little investigation he realized she'd had her first dream and got more excited than a puppy at the prospect of walkies- accidentally forgetting to explain what was so exciting to Pixal for another twenty minutes.

Lloyd and FSM had a much longer conversation than what we were shown in canon, okay? They sat in the grass and had tea that didn't exist a second ago and talked about life and death and humans and the very first elemental masters and whatever else an infinitely wise being an a traumatized 15yo talk about. Their conversation lasted several days.

Mystake was functionally a godmother to the FSM bloodline and absolutely babysat for Wu when Morro was still a little boy.

idk, i had more but I'm tired of writing-

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago hc #jay walker #kai smith #lloyd garmadon #zane julian #ninjago mystake #morro ninjago #nya smith #kai jiang #nya jiang #lance's ninjago hcs

[thewitchandtheassassin]

Romeo and Juliet (Kara Danvers x Reader)

Summary: Heartbreak leads to a late night conversation from the reason behind your pain.

Words: 942

Warnings: Alcohol, heartbreak, angst

A/N: I have finished stories and don’t remember what’s posted. Pray for me.

Taglist: Taglist: @natasharomanoffswife @natasha-danvers @aaron-despair @username23345 @xjiasx @nowthisisliving27 @higherfurther-romanova @summergeezburr @marvels-writings @onlyafewfindtheway @captain-josslett @hayleyokami @aznblossom @everything201197​   @hayleyokami @b-5by5 @lostandsearching​ @evilcr0ne​

-X-

Nursing your third – fourth? Fifth? – drink of the night, you stared grimly at the aged wood lining the bar. You’d spent almost every night there for the last week, though you were fairly certain you would have to look for a new hideaway if the bartender’s sorrowful expression shifted any closer to pity. You’d already had your heart shattered, you didn’t need to become a “sad story” for her to use later when dissuading people from drinking so much.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).”

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it?” you laughed humorlessly, watery gaze meeting regretful emerald.

“…yes.”

Sneering at the memory, you took a heavy swig of liquor. It burned against your raw, sob-cracked throat but you ignored it, relishing in the fire. At least then you could feel something.

“Why drag this on so long then? If you’ve known?”

“I don’t know…”

A familiar, honey sweet perfume wafted under your nose as someone landed on the stool beside you and your eyes slammed closed. You knew who it was, never one to leave a friend in need despite how much you wished she wasn’t here, since you couldn’t bear to look at her. Look at the reason for the end of a three year long love that apparently hadn’t truly been…

Love.

“What are you doing here, Kara?” you mumbled brokenly, slowly gathering the courage to peek at the frowning blonde. Her silence was telling and you wanted to melt through the floorboards of the dingy bar. “If you’re here to comfort me over my ex being in love with you for the entirety of our relationship, please don’t. I already feel awful enough. And if you’re here to apologize for dating her now, I will personally smack you with a chair. Mostly because I know it won’t hurt you but it’ll save my hand and my buzz.”

“I didn’t want you to be alone,” she offered softly, fighting her instinct to do exactly what you asked her not to do. “You haven’t spoken to anyone in a week. We’ve all been really worried. I nearly came looking for you a few times, but Alex told me you’d probably want to be left alone and that I was the last person you’d want to see. You need a friend, though…”

The meekness in her words and her demeanor forced a genuine chuckle from your chest. It was reminiscent of the shy reporter you’d met years ago.

Simple, sweet Kara Danvers.

“There’s irony in this, I hope you know. Being consoled by the woman I was left for.”

The unhappy glint in her crystal gaze left you reeling slightly. She seemed guilty but there was an undercurrent of something you couldn’t exactly place.

“When she asked me out tonight, I was confused,” Kara admitted, wincing at the pain dancing across your features. “She told us what happened the night after she broke up with you but she was vague about why. I thought maybe she was just being Lena; that she’d come to her senses. Her words were very Luthor and disconnected. Strange.

“She invited me to dinner this afternoon and I went, thinking maybe she wanted to come up with a plan to fix this. Fix you guys. I always thought you were a great couple! But then she started explaining and all I could think about was coming to find you. About how wrong her confession was. How could she hurt you over something that…” she trailed off, teeth clamping into her bottom lip as she tried to find the words escaping her.

“She told me this was inevitable,” you scoffed bitterly, downing the rest of your drink. “A Super and a Luthor. A great love story, like fucking Romeo and Juliet; as if that made all of this better.”

Brows scrunching disconcertedly, Kara replied, “Didn’t they die at the end? Because of their families?”

You paused for a moment before a hearty laugh filled the mostly-deserted bar. “Yes.”

“Well,” Kara cleared her throat awkwardly, ignoring the discomfort that idea left her with. “She was wrong. I don’t…I didn’t…”

As the unspoken meaning of her words washed over you, you gaped at the Kryptonian like she’d sprouted two extra heads and a tail. A gentle breeze could’ve bowled you over. Fuck, an ant could’ve carried you off.

Saying you were stunned would be an absolute understatement to the current turn of events.

“What?”

Shrugging, Kara nervously played her twitching fingers. “I care about Lena. She’s my friend but the past and the family problems and everything that’s happened is just too much to overlook. I can’t spend my life worrying about another knife aimed at my back. I think she’s different than her family – I really do – but there’s so much history we’d have to erase and I really don’t want to end up like Romeo and Juliet.”

Blinking owlishly, you couldn’t even pretend to find the words for an intelligible response. All that would surely form from your mouth would be sounds. And not even the kind she’d be able to decipher.

Just… sounds.

“You were who I wanted to see.”

There was a confession hidden somewhere in her words - no matter how minute an admittance it seemed – but you were too tipsy and exhausted and heartbroken to consider it at that moment. Later, when the alcohol had run its course and you were done wallowing in your misery, it would come to you and you would understand, running like your life depended on it to her apartment at four in the morning demanding answers to questions you’d never realized you’d had.

But for now, this was enough.

#kara danvers x reader #kara danvers imagine #supergirl imagine #supergirl x reader #arrowverse imagine #supergirl #kara zor el #kara danvers #dc imagine #dc comics imagine #dceu imagine #DC comics #reader imagine #reader insert

[mysterious-ocarina]

Please, Save Your Breath

Armin Arlert x reader

Main Masterlist AOT Masterlist Requests AO3

(1.9k words)

A/N (takes place during S4 Ep 88 The Final Chapters Part 1. Basically the boat scene but armin is the one sitting and you go to join him. You’re kinda like historia but not as extravert. Super Kind but reserved) NO MANGA SPOILERS!!!!!!!!

A/N 2) i had the ending spoiled for me on accident and i didn't like only having vague details so then i ended up just reading the manga so i would know it all. i am now officially an aot manga ending knower!! but for the courtesy of others, please do not put any spoilers in the comments without a label, thank you!!!!!!!

Sitting in an empty room on the Azumabito boat, you did your best to rid your head of the screams and blood of your comrades. You knew that no matter how this ended, these memories would be something that you will never forget. You just hoped that you would live to find out, anyway.

“Fuck,” you sighed, banging your head against the wall. You had to get out of this stuffy cabin room. You got up and started to make your way to the front of the ship in hopes that the ocean waves would calm you down.

Once outside, you noticed a mop of blond hair who seemed to have the same idea as you. In need of the comfort he brings just by existing, you make you way in front of the one and only Armin Arlert.

“Hey,” you offered softly, as to not scare him. Armin looked deep in thought and startled when he heard your voice. “Didn’t mean to startle you. Do you mind if I join you?”

“Please,” he replies as if you saved him from himself. He wipes away a little dirt off the area next to him and offers it to you.

With a smile, you gracefully plop your body down and immediately feel your muscles and brain relax.

Poking his cheek, you ask, “So, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

He blushes at your compliment, and you try not to read too much into it.

“Oh, nothing,” he replies avoidantly.

“You can talk to me, Armin. Hell, I think everyone on this boat is probably thinking about the same things,” you told him with a sigh. You placed your hand on his knee for extra comfort.

Armin grabs your hand and plays with your fingers in his lap. The contact is slow and soft as Armin fidgets with your hands.

“I don’t doubt your right about that,” he finally replies. “I’m just thinking about how fast time seems to be moving lately.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, angling your body more towards him and giving him your undivided attention.

“Our raid on Liberio was only a month ago and for all we know, the entire city is gone now,” he explains, resting his head on the boat railing.

You know there was something else that he wasn’t telling you. You’ve liked Armin for a long time and known him for even longer. As cunning as he can be when it comes to hiding his emotions from others, he’s never been able to hide from you.

You simply stare at him with a patient smile, waiting for him to open up. He looks back at you and once he realizes that he can’t hide from you, he looks down to try and hide a small smile .

“I’m also thinking about the Colossal,” he finally speaks up, saying the word colossal as if it were a bad word and someone would scold him if they heard.

Not wanting Armin to feel pressured, you stop staring at him and lay your head on his shoulder. You patiently wait for him to continue and almost jump when you feel him lay his head on yours too.

“I have so much blood on my hands. I know everyone here does, but I can’t help but feel like mine is tainted. I have thousands of lives blood from just Liberio alone. And what about all our comrades we had to gun down to get here? That’s thousands of lives that are now gone. They won’t grow old, have children, or find love. They’re gone,” he ends his rant with a sigh.

Wiping the tears that started to form in your eyes, you look up to him and grab his face to look back at you. You see unshed tears in his eyes too. With the strongest voice you can, you tell him, “Lives have been lost. This is true. But think about how many lives will be saved when we stop Eren. We did what we had to so that we could save the rest of the world. Think about how selfless it is that we are able to put aside our love for Eren and our comrades so that we can ensure that the whole world isn’t gone tomorrow,” you finish. You don’t let go of Armin’s face. You keep it softly in your palms, hoping to comfort him.

Once the tears on his face start to fall, he grabs one of your hands from his face. Holding it softly in his palm, he places a small kiss to your knuckles before looking back up to you, “Thank you, y/n. You always know just what to say.”

With a bright blush on your cheeks, you give him a hum of agreement. Unable to look at his analytical gaze, you lay your head back on his shoulder, your hands still entwined.

The silence that follows isn’t awkward or boring. It’s a peaceful silence. One where you both just relish this alone time in each other’s presence. Who knows if you’ll be able to do this again.

The silence is broken when Armin asks you a question, “What would you be doing right now if none of this happened? If you never joined the Survey Corps?”

“I think I would be a teacher. Before Wall Maria fell, my mother was a teacher at the local school in my village. Sometimes I would join her and help her around the classroom. The children loved her and I always admired her for the joy she seemed to radiate around those kids,” you replied, keeping your eyes closed. You missed your mother terribly but you were glad that she wasn’t alive anymore to witness what had become of Paradis, what had become of you.

“You would be an amazing teacher. I’ve always admired your patience and level head on and off the battlefield. I remember that day in Trost when everyone was scared out of their minds. It was the first time that most of them had even seen a titan before. You didn’t panic. You were scared too, but despite that you still managed to keep enough of your wits about you to guide people out of their shock and into action,” Armin explained, with a fondness in his voice.

“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of their fear. I had to get everyone as safe as I could,” you explained with a blush. You had no idea that Armin had paid you any attention all the way back then. As a cadet, you were pretty quiet and that battle was probably the first time some of your friends had heard you speak.

“You certainly helped me,” Armin spoke. He was looking down at you, his eyes twinkling with a feeling you hoped resembled yours. “When I thought I lost Eren and the rest of my team, I was more than willing to let myself get consumed by a titan too. But there you were, flying around to check on people and offering your help wherever you could.”

“I couldn’t let you die,” you reply softly, tearing up at the thought. You realized this statement is even more true now than it ever has been. If this battle ended, he had to be alive. Even if you weren’t.

“I think that was when I first started to look at you differently,” Armin tells you quickly, not letting you dwell on the idea of his death.

“In a bad way?” you asked, worriedly.

“Definitely not in a bad way. Since then, I started to relish the few moments you would speak. You didn’t speak much to anyone except for Historia or Sasha, so I would listen. It didn’t matter what you talked about, I enjoyed listening to your voice,” Armin explained. He was blushing but he didn’t bother trying to hide it from you this time.

With an embarrassed smile, you replied, “I didn’t know you paid any attention to me at all back then.”

“Of course I did. The first time you talked to me, I think I short circuited,” he laughed out.

You smiled at the memory.

You shyly approached your favorite scout. You had overheard a conversation he had with Mikasa and Eren about the outside world and you were very curious about what he was talking about. You just hoped he wouldn’t be mad that you were eavesdropping.

“Hey Armin, can I ask you about something?” you  asked, embarrassed. He looked startled that you had come up to him and seemed to be at a loss of words. “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

At the sound of your voice, he seemed to snap out of it, “Oh, of course. Would you like to sit?”

You nodded and sat in front of him. You were alone right now so you didn’t bother hiding your curious excitement, “Can you tell me about what’s outside the walls?”

His eyes lit up at your question and you both spent the entire night talking.

“Yeah, I remember. I thought you were scared of me,” you giggled.

Armin offered no reply, instead just staring at your eyes. He was examining your face as if looking for something.

His eyes trailed down towards your lips and you instinctively licked them. At the motion, he looked back up at your eyes and gave you a soft smile.

You're not too sure how, but you both seemed to be a lot closer to each other than the start of the conversation. It felt like there were magnets in both of you that were aching to be connected. Eventually Armin closed the space between you until you were sharing the same breath.

“May I, please?” Armin whispered. You let your eyes fall closed and gave him a shaky nod.

His lips were a lot softer than you thought they were, knowing he bit his lips when he was focused on something. He kissed you with such a soft passion that you almost felt faint. There was so much love radiating from him and his kiss. You relished the feeling of his hands holding your face and for only a second you forgot about Eren and the rumbling.

The kiss only stopped when you both needed to gather your breaths, though your mouth chased his for one last, reassuring peck.

You both sat back against the railing of the boat, not bothering to look away from each other or hiding your blushes.

You giggled in the silence.

With loving eyes, Armin asked, “What’s funny?”

Your giggles quieted before a bittersweet look took over your face. “It’s just, I’ve been waiting years for that and it took the end of the world to make it happen.”

His face matched your bittersweet look before he replied, “Yeah, but if we die, we won’t die with any regrets now.”

In this tender moment, you embraced Armin, wrapping your arms around his neck. He almost fell back with your momentum. You both bury your faces in the other's neck and clasp the comfort the other gives.

You almost start crying again, thinking about the future ahead of you guys, but Armin’s hand rubbing your back soothes you.

“You need to make it out of this alive, please. I don’t think I would be able to handle burying you before your 13 years are up,” you voice cracks, your unshed tears finally falling from your face to Armin's white shirt.

“We’ll both make it out of this, I promise,” his voice cracks a bit too.

You both know that his promise isn’t fair. Neither of you have the power to make a promise like that but that doesn’t stop the sentence from bringing you both a modicum of reassurance of what might come. You spend the rest of the boat ride embraced and savor as much of each other as you can.

#aot #armin arlet x you #armin arlet fluff #armin arlert #armin attack on titan #armin arlet imagines #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #armin arlet x reader #fanfiction

[popcornforone]

Target Practice

Part of the additional One Week With Dave York Training Chapters

Master list

Sorry Dave, life got in the way & unfortunately I then also had a huge creative block. So I’m sorry this has taken a while. But it’s here now, it’s done. I didn’t want to give you something I wasn’t proud of, but this is short but I enjoyed writing it.

Synopsis: After the events of that week, Dave has seen you as so much more than just his lover & he wants to make sure you are safe & know what to do should the worse case scenario happen.

Word Count: 2400

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! DAVE YORK AS ALWAYS COMES WITH HIS OWN WARNING. Established relationship, sexual fantasy, fingering, pleasuring, gun play, mentions of sex, PIT, swearing, lots of sexual tension, almost PIV. If you’ve read any of my Dave before you know exactly how much a menace I make him.

As always thanks for the read peoples, I hope you enjoy. All feedback is welcome as always. I’m also available to talk about anything msgs are always open.

You’ve been at it all week. It started off enjoyable & fun, but now it’s getting tiring & as much as you still enjoy it & he’s that close to you, you’re both starting to become weary with frustration. Dave was persistent & got what he wanted. The way he smiles at your delight originally is now a distant memory.

No… No… He was not trying to get you pregnant. You have recently had that conversation, his divorce with Carol goes through soon. Bye bye birth control, & hello to him being a daddy to your future child, a sibling for Molly & Alice one day. No today is Sunday & your back at the target range.

When you were filling out a few forms the other week, to increase your level of security & what you can know or help with as a civilian, Dave realised he had never taught you how to assassinate someone. His words not yours. You didn’t want to correct him, you just saw it as shooting people.

“I’ve only ever held a laser tag gun” you said as he walked you to the target range.

“What” he says in shock before he looks you up & down. “This is a joke right”he’s looking concerned.

“Well you’ve never asked me to clean the guns in the house or look after them & I’ve never been that interested until…”

“So I need to train you in everything gun related” Daves mind was scrambled at this revelation.

“Yes Dave, you do, not all of us carry the right to bare arms” he scoffs at you. He really is in disbelief & knows he’s got his work cut out now. It’s hard enough training someone who wants to learn to shoot.

“Okay this may take a while, let’s waste no time”

In the days that passed Dave showed you the different types of guns, how to assemble them, about safety & what to do. Some of this you already knew from vaguely listening to him or watching it on tv. So when he took you to the target range on Tuesday & you fired your first blank & you jolted backwards, you couldn’t believe the power in the small pistol he had given you. Your hands were shaking & you were filled with adrenaline.

“Holy fuck” you shout which, because you both have microphones attached to your headphones, blasts into Dave’s ears. “Sorry”you continue “I got over excited”

“I think everyone does the first time they pull the trigger” he calmly say.

“will that feeling fade?”

“Eventually…” Dave says as inspects the novice gun to make sure you didn’t break anything on it. “But it won’t be for years before that’s the case, it took me 6months in the army to not blink when I pull the trigger.”

“6months? that’s a really long time” you scoff thinking how long it’s going to take you to be calm with this, you don’t even like guns but if it’s for you, Dave & the girls safety, you need to know what your doing up to a certain level.

So here you are on Sunday, struggling to hit the back to back targets square on with the next gun. A much bulkier pistol than the one Dave gave you a few days ago. He’s taught you what all the different guns are but he wants you to learn how to use this one. It’s the one he keep’s underneath the second stair in the house. If there was a home invasion, this would be the one he would direct you to get & use. You’ve know that there’s a stash there for emergency for a very long time but always just ignored the weapon.

“Surly what I know now is enough Dave” your frustration & sigh through the headset as you look at him with tired eyes tell him all he needs to know. This isn’t fun anymore. It’s like he is treating you like a trainee, which in theory you are, but this is for all your safety. You put the safety on the gun & put in on the table & flash the yellow light to say you’re no longer firing. Dave removes his headset & walks up to you calmly as you remove your own headphones.

“It’s okay” he says reassuringly. “You don’t have to get this right straight away, what you’ve done is a big step already, it’s just…” his voice trials off.

“If someone breaks in our house, they are going to put up more of a fight than a random home invasion” you mock & say it in Daves training tone. He’s said this so many times that you know it by heart, especially after the Carol hand scissors moment which was almost a year ago. It’s not quite his bedroom voice but it’s grumpy for sure. He raises an eyebrow at you & you laugh as you pick up your coffee. The stern look not leaving his face. “Shit was that too much… sorry Dave I…” you start to worry & then you see the smirk appear “… you bastard, I thought I’d crossed the line there for a second” you inhale & then take a big gulp of your coffee not wanting to really make eye contact with Dave. Those eyes will have your aroused too quickly.

“You know me too well sweetheart” he can see you shake a little. After all this time you’re still his, his fuck toy who will attend to his needs & not want to hurt or displease him. His desire dungeon is still used at the weekends when the girls are away. “Maybe that’s why I love you, & I’ll forgive you… for now” if that didn’t send a chill down your spine nothing would. Seductive stabby murder daddy threatening empty & possible mean promises & punishment is enough to remind you how much a woman you are.

This has the desired effect though. Dave can see your body relax, & your shoulders drop so he quickly hits the red button to say a gun is live. His large hand scoots the gun across the table to you & he stands behind you. The other hand around your waist. You look confused & go to turn your head, his lips just mere inches away from your skin, skin that they adore to kiss. Waiting for his hushed tones to speak.

“Take the weapon sweetheart” he whispers in your ear. Still as arousing as ever when he is this close to you. Your hand glides over it & softly grips it to start before it get tighter. His hand joins yours to put it in the best position. “Your grip is like a vice” ooh the husky tones this man has, it makes you girl the gun harder. “Both your hand & your cunt. If you get this right, I’ll make sure my other weapon is gripped hard”

“Dave!” You moan & turn your head to moan, but the large hand that was on your waist is now around your chin turning you attention back to the targets in front of you, as he pushes his body closer to yours.

“I want you to take a breath for 4 & then out of 5 & then in for 4 & then fire okay” he’s not put his or your headsets back on. He tentatively taps your waist for the 4 & 5 counts. & you concentrate on your breathing before you fire the gun. “Do it again & aim for the same spot” he says softly once again taping you for the count. Admiring how your blue vest top just about skims over your body. The neck like means he can see your cleavage. If he was admiring like this at home, the top & your bra would be off & he’d be fucking your tits, cumming all over them before making you lick up the mess he had made as a reward. Licking your nipples arouses him but he still prefers to lick your pussy until it squirts all over his face.

He’s too lost in his mind, lusting for your body, that he forgets about the next shot & he almost leaps back, jolting away causing your shot to not go where it’s meant to. He’s shocked but also aroused.

“Jesus Dave!” You turn & face him as he comes back apologising.

“Sorry baby” both those hand return back around your waist hovering just below your belly button. “I was lost in my own mind, you are weakness after all” his head rests on your shoulders & he looks up at you with those big brown eyes & you smile softly back as you load the next few bullets into the gun. You’re confident at that part of the job.

“Are you going to stay here & be a distraction Dave?” You ask. He then pushes fully behind you, his groin against your arse. You can feel his erection growing, digging into you as you try & remain focused. It’s the wandering hand heading for the belt on your jeans that’s making you breathe faster. “D…Dave?” You ask but in list of ways are you asking that.

“Hit the same mark back to back & i’ll fuck you on this table” he snarls. He’s moved the strap of your vest top & bra to the side & starts kissing your shoulder heading for the crook of your neck. His kisses are still like fire. Still, even though it’s no longer an affair, they make you feel naughty, like his bratty little slut who used to do anything for 5mins attention from him before he fucked you hard with no consequences.

Your hand shakes as you pick up the gun, not through fear of the weapon but at Dave’s words said so seductively. At those large hands controlling you as your belt clinks undone. Your arse moves towards him, wanting him to take you. Your sigh is exasperated, as it comes from your lips, goosebumps across your entire body, from every sensation you feel. Your breath is deep & you fire two shoots. They do both hit the target but in opposite places. You gasp for air. Dave pulls you closer against him. Almost squeezing all the oxygen out of you, increasing your desire & need to be satisfied.

“again” he whispers as the hand unhooks your jeans button, he’s excited he’s realised your wearing a lacy thong. He’s hoping it’s the blue one. He likes to sniff that one the most. You fire the next two shots. Slowly they are getting closer.

“Again”

“Dave I..” but the zip is heard loudly being undone & his hand goes inside your panties. Finding your clit instantly. You bite your lip in pleasure as he kisses your neck

“AGAIN” he says more sternly. More of a command almost full bedroom voice. The next two shots are almost there.

“Once more, then you can have it all sweetheart.” His fingers are leisurely stroking you, they are getting moist & he can’t wait to fuck you here in the target range, not caring if it’s watched by anyone else here or on cctv. He wants you to turn around in a minute & flop his large girthy cock out so he can take you hard & fast. Get out both your frustrations, & make you cum all over him & the table.

Both your faces are a gasp & stunned as you don’t even think you just fire the shoots away. Perfect placement. Top of the throat almost on top of each other.

“Fuck Me” you exclaim, proud of what you have done with your accuracy.

“Gladly” is his quick reply before it’s interrupted as you turn to face him & your lips lock with his. So passionate. So hungry. Feeling the desire you both have for each other never gets old. Dave hand on his own belt undoing it as his fingers increase his rhythm. You break from the kiss long enough to remove your vest top which is flung towards the target before you kiss him in a frenzy. His tongue will never be a stranger to your mouth, it’s pure lust & makes you more aroused.

“Dave oh Dave” you moan as 2 fingers slide inside you curling around, you’re so turned on, your expectant of his cock to grind down on any second. His eyes as shut as he buries his head into your cleavage. The wetness coming from his fingers & your desire being the only sounds you can hear. A rhythm so insane that you will be gushing in mere seconds, ready for a nice easy glide in for his penis, which is trying to get out of his trousers & boxers. It’s squelching & you are being so easy for him to take, but you know he like that every once & a while. Especially when you’re desperate to feel him fuck you hard & raw.

“Cum sweetheart, soak your stabby Murder daddys hand. I know you want to. Be a good girl & I’ll guarantee to hit the target with each thrust.” His hand can’t move any faster, it’s stimulation override & you let go.

“Fuck fuck fuck Dave” you scream. But your respite & come down will be short. His other hand has flopped his cock out.

“Look at you.” He says seeing the mess on his hand & on the table. “Well if we’re gonna get messy, let’s do this properly”Daves almost growling as his penis goes through your slick.

“Ooh baby”

“Sweetheart” & then just before he inserts himself inside you, looking at the panting sexual mess you already are, he grabs his phone & flicks to an app. “This is just for us baby” & he dims all the lights & the cctv so no one else at the target range can see or know later that Dave fucked you hard on the table for the next 30minutes. People were probably wondering if a crime was being committed, but your screams of desire as he filled you up, we’re exactly what you both needed

& you Dave did hit the target. With every single thrust.

#fanfic #pedro pascal #my fics #smutt #no minors #over18 #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal fan fic #pedro pascal fandom #dave york fanfiction #dave york fan fiction #dave york fanfic #dave york fic #dave york #dave york smut #dave york x reader #dave york f reader #equalizer 2

[willows-woes]

Feeling like you've "grown up more on the Internet than real life" is so fucking weird.

This whole shit is like the plot of a teen drama movie. It doesn't even seem real. And yet, unfortunately, it is.

I've had more friends online than in real life, and that disturbs me sometimes. I don't know if they're lying or not. They could lie about anything even though I'm telling the truth to them most of the time or to the best of my ability.

But is it normal to, at age [roughly] 15, have seen people your age or only with a 1 or 2 year difference who have gone through things you couldn't imagine [being intentionally vague for privacy i guess]?

To see someone you used to enjoy posting suddenly making a vague, ominous post about "I'm deleting everything. I hope you have good lives without me, but I'm never coming back. I'm gone forever. Goodbye. I'm sorry. I genuinely wish you all the best, thank you." and deleting it 15 minutes later. Along with everything. And never posting again.

I've seen self-harm wounds much more than most people my age. And when you're a curious, mentally ill clusterfuck, you end up seeing things you weren't meant to see.

Websites [albeit hard to find; hidden for obvious reasons] sugarcoating the term pro suicide. Forums of people asking for suicide methods and it simply being given, chemical named + the amount that's fatal + how long it'll take to die/how it feels. People giving their "last goodbyes" and explicit clarification that they ARE going to attempt and, instead of ANYTHING begging them to seek help, just -

"Good luck. I hope it works, and I hope you enjoy the other side more than this."

For your memories of online conversations and real, verbal ones to become blurred. To be THAT chronically online.

To be borderline desensitised to strong topics. Sex isn't taboo, and among the people in your life, you'd talk about it in a much more neutral or positive manner than them. Neither is suicide. When asked, you bluntly state with little hesitation: "Oh god. If someone gave me a gun, I'd blow my brains out without hesitation. Someone giving me the right supplies to guaranteed kill myself is a DREAM. Of course I'd take it." and become confused when the other person looks at you in horror. You become confused when reminded that not everyone thinks that way. Oh.

Some people say I'm too loud, others too quiet. Some say very excitable and childishly obsessive with my interests [such as things like plushies], and others call me stoic. Disconnected. Blunt, extremely pessimistic, and apathetic towards pretty much everything. And both types of people say it with utter conviction, like they couldn't imagine it any other way. It confuses you ESPECIALLY when you spend your life in depersonalisation and dissociation-- not knowing who you are at all and it disturbs you. When you think you've figured something out about yourself, and someone says something that doesn't align, you're questioning everything again.

You're calling me pragmatic? Last week, I was called sensitive. You're saying I've got multiple personalities? A few days ago, you said I was stubborn and never change. I talk too much? But you said I'm not interested in anything. You called me downright antisocial, even.

What is it? How do I know anything at all?

I mean, I don't want to pretend I'm a crybaby. I can DEFINITELY handle these things. I'm not horrified every time I see them brought up. It's just.

Dissonance. Dissonance amongst everything.

#long rant #like reeallly long #i am severely mentally ill #like seriously for anyone influencable reading this it is Not Good #chronically online #chronically online rant

[our-death-means-flag]

idk if you take requests but izzy hands x male!reader who has cptsd. they aren’t dating yet and absolutely fucking hate each other. always at each others throats. one day, ed and stede decide to dock the ship at a certain place, presumably near australia to have drinks with some of eds old buds. as everyone’s moving to get off of the ship & enjoy the land, reader fucking freezes. no one really notices, thinking it to just be him taking in the good view of the town, but he’s having flashbacks. the town they were in was his hometown & he did not come from a good family— I’ll leave it at that. Izzy’s the last one to move off, having been securing some shit at the front & starts to chastise him for being so fuckin slow. he just says something rude as fuck about him just standing there & reader jumps up, clearly startled and tells him to fuck the hell off. izzys surprised at this because for some reason it just felt different— like he had crossed some type of invisible line. reader reluctantly walks to land, hands shaking. Izzy’s just concerned because he’s sort of like what the fuck why don’t they have their dagger against my fucking neck right now. eventually they all go on some type of nature hike, stede’s request, having lived on land majority of his adult life and wanting to explore the newfound territory with Ed. while there the crew (mostly Lucius) is confused as to why reader hasn’t said anything funny or snarky yet. usually he would be the one to make them laugh at shit, if not frenchie or just the ships usual antics. something was just off. the way y/ns eyes glazed over when he saw something vaguely familiar, the ever-so-slight tremble in his left hand. later, lucius says some shit like “are you alright?” And iz just fucking I don’t even know. he corners the reader and sort of passive aggressively orders him to tell him what the fucks going on. cue reader really really really hesitantly opening up after saying some snarky shit in resp to him. maybe it leads to them confessing to each other? or getting really drunk? or cuddling? maybe all three.

Will I Ever Get Out of This Town?

Ship: Izzy Hands x masc!Reader Summary: A visit to a familiar port brings back horrible memories for Y/N but an unexpected person tries to help. Notes: Per request, masc!reader!  I’m no expert on these topics and my personal experience is kinda lacking but I did my level best to write everything as respectfully as possible. Title from Walking Around a Sh*tty Old Town At Midnight by TheEggoMan (I might start using lyrics or quotes for all fic titles since i’m really bad at coming up with names Warnings: y/n being mean to himself, mentions of past abuse (physical and verbal), cptsd, panic attacks, vague traumatic flashbacks, Izzy being Izzy (he’s trying to help but he’s not great at it), drinking

It hadn’t changed a bit.

You stood on the deck, white knuckle gripping the railing, looking out onto the horribly familiar port town.

Your hometown hadn’t changed a bit.

You weren’t sure what you’d been expecting. 

Well aside from never coming back here. The day you’d left this place behind was the day you’d promised yourself that you’d never come back. And yet, here you were. 

It was pathetic. You were a goddamn adult. It had been years since you’d been here. So why was being here still fucking with you? The rational side of you remembered some of the stuff you’d heard about long lasting trauma but the much less rational and much much louder side of you, kept reminding you that you were still the same terrified kid you’d been all those years ago. That you hadn’t grown or changed at all.

You tightened your grip on the rails. You could distantly hear the chatter of the crew as they all set out on the “nature walk” Stede had insisted on. But your mind was elsewhere. Even as you tried to cling to the present your mind dragged you back into the past. 

Raised voices.

Bruises.

Things breaking.

You breaking.

Being trapped in a life that made the idea of working yourself to death on a pirate ship seem like an improvement.

It all came back. Everything you’d tried not to think about.

You hadn’t even noticed someone approaching until a hand grabbed your shoulder. The instincts you’d managed to train over years of piracy vanished and rather than snapping the offending wrist or pulling your knife, you cowered away, spinning so fast you were almost dizzy and all but slamming your back into the railing, arms desperately pulled up to protect yourself even though you knew full well that it wouldn’t do much.

Chest heaving from exertion your mind finally registered what was actually going on in the present. Izzy fucking Hands, crown prince of asshole himself,was right there looking at you with a confused expression, if he’d said anything you hadn’t heard it. Usually you’d push, make some snarky comments about him or whatever he’d been asking you to do. But you were still gripped tightly by the past so all you could manage was a weak “Fuck off.”

Desperate for a quick escape, you all but ran down the plank to catch up with the rest of the crew, leaving a rather confused Izzy behind.

Izzy had noticed almost immediately that something wasn’t quite right with you. He’d always run a tight ship and keeping an eye out for anyone acting off was part of that. And you’d been off ever since Ed had set out their next course. You’d been quieter than usual. That wasn’t good. A change like that…  It usually meant that mutiny was brewing.

But it didn’t seem to be a mutiny. You were just as polite and respectful as ever with the captain(s).

You just seemed… distracted. When he’d snapped at you for something you’d respond with a generic “fuck off” rather than the usual creative retorts you always managed to give. It was disconcerting.

You were a bastard and Izzy hated your guts but you were also one of few people on the ship with an actual functioning brain. If he gave you an actually important task, you’d tell him off but it would get done well. You were still working but you seemed off.

Your weird behavior had started when Ed had decided on the next port you all were stopping at so Izzy wondered if maybe you were planning on deserting. It was possible. More likely than a mutiny in your case. But that would also be a pain. Not only were you actually competent, but you could also rally the idiots to actually get work done. Losing you would be (as much as Izzy was loath to admit) a hit to the crew as a whole. (Besides Izzy would bet money that Bonnet was the kind of idiot to send a fucking search party of you didn’t come back)

Izzy’s plan had been to stay on top of your movements while at port and drag you back if needed. But contrary to what Izzy had expected, you didn’t jump at the chance to leave the ship, in fact you did the opposite…

You were just standing there, staring off into the distance. Izzy rolled his eyes. Seriously? You really were acting off if you were getting distracted so easily. “The fuck are you doing?” Izzy snarled, already anticipating your snarky response. He didn’t get one. Hell, he didn’t even get a response at all. You didn’t so much as twitch. Izzys irritation won over his concerns and he grabbed your arm. “If we needed something to just stand there motionless, we’d buy a fucking statue! Get fucking moving or-“

He was cut off but not the way he expected. Any other day he wouldn’t have been able to get close enough to grab you and if somehow he’d managed it, he’d end up with your knife at his throat. Instead you spun to face him, a look of abject fear on your face as you cowered behind your hands. You blinked, as if waking up from a dream and glared at him. He expected the usual snarky comment but instead all he got was a weak, shaky, “fuck off” and then you just ran off. More strange behavior. You telling him to fuck off wasnt all that unusual but you typically had more to say. 

But not this time.

Instead Izzy was left standing alone on deck as you all but ran to catch up with the rest of the crew.

Something was wrong.

Something was most certainly wrong. Your actions made it readily apparent. Or rather your lack of actions. 

Izzy had appointed himself as the unofficial watch for this stupid “nature hike” and was doing his damndest to keep the idiot brigade from getting themselves killed. But he couldn’t help but notice you. You usually had a slew of snarky comments about almost any situation. You weren’t too shy about voicing your thoughts. But not today. Aside from a few hums and a yes or no in response to a question, you hadn’t said a damn word. Izzy would be lying if he said he wasn’t kind of missing it. As much as you went along with Bonnet’s stupid schemes, you were much more of a real pirate than the rest and your commentary was annoyingly entertaining. He remembered having to bite his tongue to keep from chuckling at a few of your jabs. It was really off putting to see you so… placid. You just followed along and moved almost in a daze. At one point he'd seen Frenchie grab your arm to pull you over to see something and you’d gone stock stiff under the grip.  But what the fuck was he supposed to do about it? 

Though it seemed he wasn’t the only one… It had been a bit into the nature hike. (If Izzy had to listen to one more fucking dumbass bug and/or plant spiel from Stede Fockin’ Bonnet, he’d probably accept getting murdered by Ed just so he could kick Bonnet’s teeth in a little.) You had been conscripted by Edward to help him hunt down some kind of food and the rest of the idiots were lazing around waiting while Bonnet grabbed a few crewmembers to start a fire. Izzy was watching that trainwreck occur.

“What the hell did you do?” The harsh tone wasn’t all that surprising, what was surprising however was who it was coming from. Izzy glanced to see none other than Spriggs, standing arms crossed.

Izzy sighed. He was so incredibly not in the mood for this shit. “What?” He all but snarled the word. 

Just as before, Spriggs didn’t even waver. “You know what!” Izzy’s expression shifted from annoyed to annoyed and confused. “Y/N! What did you do to him?” 

That caught Izzy off guard. “What I did?”

That only seemed to piss Lucius off more. “Of course you! You’re always being such a fucking dick to him! I saw you yelling at him before we got off the ship and now he’s barely talking to anyone. What did you say?”

A part of Izzy felt a little vindicated to know that he wasn’t the only one who noticed. “I didn’t.” He seemed moments away from being interrupted when he added a curt “I didn’t say anything out of the ordinary. He’s been acting off for a while actually.” Lucius didn’t seem convinced. Izzy huffed a sigh. “The reason I was yelling at him earlier was because he was zoning out. He was just staring. He didn’t even notice me until I grabbed his shoulder. I doubt he even knows what I said.”

Lucius narrowed his eyes. Izzy resisted the urge to fidget under the scrutiny. After a long moment, Lucius finally spoke. “You really don’t know what’s bothering him do you?” Izzy simply shook his head. Spriggs furrowed his brow. “Huh.” 

Before either of them could say anything, Ed interrupted when he strolled back into the clearing, arms full of different fruit. “Hey-o! We didn’t find any snakes but you need to check out all this fruit Y/N found!” You lingered behind, tossing one fruit in your hand boredly, as the rest of the crew fussed over the fruits. Ed all but dumped the fruits into Roach’s arms (who was already rambling about flavors) and looped an arm around your shoulder. 

(Izzy had no idea how you’d managed to befriend his captain so damn fast but Ed seemed more comfortable around you than even some of the Queen Anne’s crew.) 

And usually, you’d have no trouble with Ed’s closeness but, in keeping with how you’d been acting off all day, this time you froze. It was clear you tensed just from the way that your nails dug into the skin of the fruit you were holding. Ed, seemingly noticing your odd behavior, let go and whispered something, his beard making lipreading impossible. You shook your head in response. Ed still seemed concerned but was quickly distracted by Stede, even though he gave you a thumbs up over his shoulder as he left 

The rest of the day went the same way. Izzy didn’t get involved in any of the crew's shenanigans, deciding just to stand back and keep watch. Yet, his focus kept drifting back to you. You were quiet and didn’t really interact much or make many comments. Despite Lucius’ attempts to get you to relax you seemed determined not to. As the day turned to night, you drifted away from the group. Just lingering on the outskirts of the clearing that the crew had chosen as a base, nursing the same drink for what seemed to be hours and just staring.  

Perhaps it was the strangeness of how you were acting or maybe it was the light buzz Izzy was feeling or maybe both, but he found himself walking over to you. Again you didn’t notice him approaching. Which was still very strange. Even if you had been drunk (which you definitely weren’t considering he hadn’t seen you grab another drink and the one you still held in your hand was only half empty) you’d always notice someone approaching you. 

Izzy tapped you on the shoulder, making you jump. You didn’t say anything. Shit. Izzy immediately realized he should have planned what to say but he had approached you rather impulsively. Instead of anything that made sense like a ‘what’s wrong’ or a ‘want to talk it through (ugh)’ what came out of Izzy’s mouth was “The fuck is your problem?”

He realized that was probably a bad move when you glared at him. Your glare wavered. “Fuck off.” You grumbled. “I’m not in the mood for any of your bullshit right now. Go piss off someone else.”

A part of Izzy wanted to back off. But the almost dead look on your face and the ever-so-slight tremble in your left hand, caused him to stay.

 “No, shit. fuck. I’m not… I-” He paused for a long moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. Usually you probably would have let him and waited for him to figure out what he wanted to say. But you were pissed. So with a huff, you moved to walk away. 

And Izzy did another stupid thing. He reached out and grabbed your arm. 

You yanked your arm out of his grip so forcefully that you stumbled backwards and nearly fell, instead your back hit a tree and you all but sank down it, all but cowering behind your arms, drink long dropped. Your arms shook as you stared wide eyed at him but clearly not actually seeing him. The commotion attracted the attention of the rest of the crew.

A beat.

You blinked, seemingly realized what was actually going on, jumped to your feet and, before anyone could do anything, booked it into the woods.

Every breath felt like it caught in your throat. 

You couldn’t believe you’d made such a fool of yourself.  In front of the whole entire crew no less. In front of Izzy.

Despite how long it had been, you still knew the path. Your legs moved almost numbly as you ran but your course was clear. 

You stumbled out onto the ever so familiar cliff side. Shoulders still heaving from the run and your anxiety, you looked out over the entire town, the ocean glimmering under the moon. The small town hadn’t changed.

The rock that you’d always used as a chair was still the same too. You sighed as you sat down. You pulled your legs up against your chest and rested your chin on your knees. You tried very very hard not to cry but, before you could stop yourself, tears were streaming down your cheeks.

 You knew it would be best to go back to the crew. They were probably confused about you running off and you didn’t want them to think you were deserting the ship. But you needed a minute. Even if the crew had decided to follow you for some reason, not only were you probably the most sober but you still knew these woods like the back of your hand. So you had time. 

Then you heard a crack of a branch. You almost missed it over your own heartbeat pounding in your head but being here, at the spot you always used to hide at, made you senses overwhelming.

“Lucius I-” You started as you frantically wiped your face and sat up to take a look at who you assumed to be the well-meaning scribe. Just as you were wondering how he’d managed to keep up, you locked eyes with Izzy Hands. You sighed. “Go on then, laugh it up.” You mumbled.

“What?” The man’s voice was softer than you’d ever heard it.

 You gave the man your best glare (not too effective with your teary eyes and curled posture). “Really? No need to play dumb. Look! Y/N L/N being pathetic. Enjoy the show, asshole!”

Izzy looked woefully uncomfortable. He glanced briefly over his shoulder as if wondering if anyone would swoop in and save him from the awkwardness. No one did. It seemed that (being as good on his feet and less drunk than the crew) he’d been the only one who’d managed to keep up. “I…” He gave another glance. Still no luck. “I wasn’t going to mock you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Then why are you here? Hell, why have you been bothering me all day?” Izzy gave you a confused look. “You yelled at me on deck. You’ve been staring at me all day. You talked to me. And then when I wanted to leave you grabbed me. Then you chased me all the way up here!” You counted off on your fingers as you spoke. If it wasn’t mockery then what? The only other option you could think of was an ass-backwards attempt at murder but it was much too underhanded for Izzy usually.

“I…” Izzy fumbled for words. You resisted the urge to snark at him again. “I thought that you were acting strange.”

“So you decided to bother me all day?”

“I wanted to help.” His voice was so soft you barely heard it. In fact, you immediately assumed that you’d heard incorrectly. 

“What…?”

“I wanted to help.” It was barely louder this time. “You’re competent. A valuable member of the crew. You’ve been acting odd since the captains decided to make port here. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to help.”

A part of you wanted to laugh. He wanted to help so he yelled at you and asked ‘what the fuck was going on?’ it was utterly ridiculous… and absolutely the sort of thing Izz would do. It was an actual attempt to help. You sighed, scooted over and patted the rock. “Come on. Sit down.”

Izzy did, noticeably sitting far enough away that his legs didn’t touch yours. He folded his hands awkwardly in his lap.

You sighed and before you could talk yourself out of it, you spoke. “I grew up here. Seems like I still know these woods as well as I used to.” That got Izzy’s attention. You could see him looking at you from the peripherals of your vision. But instead you stared out at the ocean. Looking at it from here it wasn’t surprising that you’d decided to go out to see and never look back, it glittered like a sea of gems. “I lived right down in that town.” You pointed. “My family…”  Your voice wavered and you paused.  Izzy just stayed silent and let you talk. “ They weren’t very good to me. Let’s just say that not all my scars are from pirating… I used to come up here a lot.  Sometimes sitting out here, even in the cold or the heat, was better than going home. I’d sit here and stare at the ocean and think of sailing away some day. That’s why I left. Why I became a pirate. Would you believe me if I said I think the pirate ship was safer? Sure I could have died but I’m damn sure if I stayed here, I’d already be dead.” You sighed and leaned your head back looking at the stars above you. “And the day I got on my first ship, I promised myself I’d never come back here. I guess that’s what's been bothering me.”

“I see.” Izzy mumbled out. 

“Yeah… They’re all gone by now probably. Nothing interesting I’m afraid.” You teased lightly. 

“No, that’s not what I meant…” He seemed to fumble for words for a long moment. You glanced over at him to see him clearly deep in thought. He’d listened to you ramble, the least you could do was give him the same courtesy. “Most people don’t choose to be pirates unless they don’t have anything left for them on land. I know a bit of how you feel… If I stayed on land, I’d be dead too. I was a street kid. Joined the navy, not completely by choice, then switched sides the first chance I got.” You nodded along. That made sense. Izzy’s precise fighting style made sense. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” He met your eyes somewhat nervously.

“Not much anyone can do to change the past.” 

Izzy shrugged. “I’m sorry all the same.”

You scooted closer to Izzy, letting your leg brush against his. He jumped but didn’t snap at you or pull away. You wrapped an arm around his shoulder and leaned against him. He noticeably relaxed under your touch. “Thanks Izzy. I appreciate you coming out here.”

“Honestly I don't think I helped much.” Izzy muttered. 

You chuckled. “Eh, you did pretty okay for your first try. Talking it through is much harder than it seems, eh?” Izzy grumbled in response but didn’t do much more than that. 

You looked back at the town below. “You know… The whole place looks much smaller now…” And it did. The same town that had felt like your entire world the last time you’d been here was just a tiny town. You could even see the Revenge from here. Your actual home.

As comfortable as it was leaning against Izzy, you knew you had to double back to the crew. You sighed and stood, gently pulling Izzy up with you. “We should probably get back to the crew… Otherwise they might think you killed me or something.” Your tone wasn’t right but it was closer to the kind of jabs you’d normally give. Izzy chuckled.

 Even once you two had stood up, you didn’t let go of Izzy, your arm still around his shoulder. You’d barely made it halfway back to the clearing where the rest of the crew was when a figure jumped out at you. Your knife was in your hands fast but then you realized who it was:  Jim had their knife pointed at Izzy.

“Bastardito! What did you do to him?” 

Before any blood could be shed you chimed in. “Jim! I’m okay. I’m right here. Izzy was helping.” Jim released Izzy and gave you a suspicious look. “Okay I’m not fine but Izzy didn’t do anything to me. He has nothing to do with why I ran off.”

Jim seemed to accept that as they leaned back and yelled “I found them!”

The moment you passed the threshold of the clearing almost the entire crew surrounded you. You were so overwhelmed by the whole crew around you that you almost missed Izzy pulling the two captains aside. 

“Y/N! Are you okay?”

“You had us so worried!”

Lucius was quick to make sure the crew didn’t crowd you too much.

“Alright then everyone! Let’s head back to the ship!” Stede’s chipper voice interrupted everyone. You raised a brow.

“I thought we were sleeping out here tonight?” The Swede asked, confused.

“Yes, well. Change in plans! The ship would be much better than this place! I mean the weather is positively atrocious! Think of the ambiance my good man!” 

Before anyone could ask Stede what the hell he was talking about (it was a clear night? and what was an “ambiance”?) Ed spoke up. “Come on everyone! You heard the captain.”

You spent the rest of the walk to the ship listening to Stede ramble about how most certainly this was not a place you all should be, Ed chiming in that you should pick the next port stop, and the rest of the crew making a point of trying to get you to laugh (succeeding a few times). 

You didn’t get another chance to talk to Izzy until the rest of the crew was asleep. You found him sitting on the mizzen top leaning against the mast, holding a bottle of some kind of alcohol. Without even hesitating you climbed up so you could sit next to him. After a moment of silence, “What did you tell the captains to get them to leave so quickly?”

“The truth. I said that you were uncomfortable here and that we should leave. Simple as that.” He responded.

You smiled. “Thanks Izzy.”

“Of course…” He fumbled for a moment as if trying to find something to say, then he simply offered the bottle in his hand. 

Getting drunk at that port was not something you wanted, but now that you could see it fading in the Revenge’s wake, you accepted. You took a swig and were surprised to find it tasted like good fancy rum. You looked at the bottle and then at Izzy.

“From my stash I took off the Anne. Don’t you dare tell the others, I am not sharing with them.” Izzy explained. 

You chuckled and took another swig before handing the bottle back. “Cross my little black heart.” You promised teasingly. “Although, first you help me out and now you’re sharing your fancy rum with me… I might get the idea that you don’t hate me.”

“I don’t.” Izzy mumbled. 

“What?” 

“I don’t hate you.” His words were almost slurred a little and you realized that the bottle had been half empty. “You’re a good pirate. And funny. I missed your jokes…” He almost whined.

You gently took the bottle back then took a swig for confidence. “I don’t hate you either. You may be an asshole but I can appreciate that.”

Izzy laughed and leaned against you, resting his head on your shoulder. You smiled and adjusted so you could loop an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. 

Since you only had one bottle, you couldn’t exactly cheers but you could raise the bottle while you and Izzy were both holding it. “To the future!”

Izzy laughed, his breath tickling your collarbone. “To the future! Fuck the past!”

You couldn’t help but laugh along. “Yeah! Fuck the past!” You held up a middle finger at the lingering lights of a port you’d been trapped in. The two of you continued that way, joking and yelling, until the port faded completely from view. Then you felt Izzy go completely limp against your side. You glanced over seeing he’d fallen asleep. With a small smile, you pulled the bottle from his hand and set it aside before curling up yourself.

As much as you could say “Fuck the past” the burden it left was still there. But as you sat on the mizzen top and watched that damn place disappear over the horizon, on a ship full of people who’d been worried about you, who had changed their plans to accommodate you, with Izzy Fucking Hands of all people asleep at your side, that burden had never felt lighter.

A/N: I did my best to stay true to the request but I made a few small changes, hope that’s okay!  Writing a reader with he/him pronouns was a little tricky. I’m so used to they/them readers.

#ofmd x reader #izzy hands x reader #israel hands x reader #ofmd izzy #ofmd #our flag means death #tw: past abuse #tw abuse mention #tw past abuse #I saw a few fics where Jim calls Izzy “Bastardito” which means little bastard and it’s perfect.