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desire-tenderness · 3 years

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I will return to old Brazil

I’m three weeks away in New York on a laser and independence trip, I miss home. It’s only two days away and soon I’m back in Brazil to meet my family and friends. I was taking the opportunity to organize some of the things, like some clothes and documents, that’s when I missed my passport. “Where did it go, my God?! My credit card was on the cover. I’ve turned this apartment upside down and can’t find it anywhere. There’s no way I lost! This shit only happens to me. I only have two more days stay in this Irbnb, how will I solve the problem of passport loss in two days without my credit card!? I don’t have a penny more.” [ranting, going into outbreak] “OK, relax, I’m smart! I need to raise money for at least another day or two, I have enough for daily meals. Well, didn’t I want to experience something unique and inspiring? Here’s a chance to have a tragic story to tell and laugh at later.” [I thought out loud] “I can manage as a street performer, starting tomorrow. I take my ukulele and some blank sheets of paper and make illustrations of pedestrians, I hope to reap the benefits of that. The last place I remember seeing my passport was yesterday when I was at the MoMA. Now I need to go back there and hope that I find in the "lost and found" of the place.” [The next day] I woke up early today and I’m already on my way to Central Park, hoping to find a space on Bethesda Terrace to play. The first time I went I saw a young man playing the cello so beautifully, it made me overflow with emotion. I played some songs, I noticed that I had a very positive return looking at the cover of Ukulele, I was curious to tell how much money I had made with those 5 songs played. It’s quite amazing the satisfaction of playing there, people seem to want to hear me play. I thought of ending with Naive - The Kooks and so I did. - I'm not saying it was your fault Although you could have done more Oh, you're so naïve, yet so.. {music}

Soon formed a circle of people singing together, I was shivered, did not imagine that The Kooks still had an audience. A little girl left $16 on the cover of the instrument, it made me float. With less than a minute to go, I saw a wonderfully attractive boy, at least 15 feet away, "do I know you?" I thought while I messed up a song. At the end of the last song I thanked him and forced my eyes to reach the boy again, but he was no longer there. The minute I thanked her, the same little girl started pulling a leather saying "one more, one more". I didn’t have a repertoire anymore and I couldn’t think of anything. The sky was with an attractive texture and the climate had a palette of color that sent me the song Postcards From Italy - Beirut and without thinking too much about whether or not it made sense for the moment, I started playing and singing. As I played, I closed my eyes to feel the instrumental climax of the song that was approaching. And when I opened my eyes the same boy I saw from afar was standing in front of me watching my show. Who was he? Timothée Chalamet. My whole body was frozen with the fright, but I didn’t want to leave anything evident. If I showed my anxiety, that space would turn into an afternoon of autographs and I don’t want to take your time. Did he give me money? The cover of the instrument had received more notes of paper, but for being with eyes closed I could not see. He smiled and nodded, turned away. I kept silent. Second then I hurried thanking everyone for my return, guarding my instrument and taking my bag. I run after him. - Hey! Timo! He turned at the same second, confused, trying to find who called him. He must have noticed me tightening my stride to get close to him as soon as possible. - Hi! Our is a pleasure, I can’t believe it’s really you. I let you go so you wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, but I needed to talk to you and thank you for listening to me play and a lot of other stuff. Sorry, I’m talking too much, all right? I spoke so fast that I hardly breathed. He laughed. - Hi, Beirut, huh? It goes well with today’s weather. It was nice! Am I well and you? Alias, your name? - Do you like Beirut? Gee. My name is (xxxx) but it doesn’t matter now. - Yes, you do. Are you from New York? - No, I come from Brazil. I’m traveling.. The words were disappearing from my mind as the minutes passed, I was somewhat hypnotized. - Cool! I really want to see Brazil someday. Do you want a photo? - Man I want a photo yes. I never thought that moment would be here and now. We took the photo, he thanked me for coming to him and for me playing with such emotion. He finally said that it was "very harmonious". And with a lot of pain in my heart I let him go. "Gee, I met Timothée chalamet two days before returning to Brazil! I must confess that fate has killed, just bring my passport back." [I thought out loud] Arriving at the Moma I received the terrible news that my passport was not there, it was my only hope going down the drain. I wanted to cry out of desperation, but I was also totally happy to have met Timothée and to have taken a picture that I will keep for the rest of my life. "I wish I’d been calmer and sane, I guess I just thought I was crazy. I hope he hasn’t noticed my despair, anxiety and complete fascination. Well, back to what I need to focus on.. Do I get some freelance work at some designer studio? Well, it could be a coffee shop. " The day has gone by so fast, the clock is almost 4:00 p.m. I think I’ll have a cup of coffee and a bite to eat, and I’ll get a job, if that’s not too embarrassing. I thought I’d walk around the West Village and find some cool coffee over there. Said and done, I found a coffee visibly attractive and had a delicious smell coming out the door, but it was empty. I think this is the perfect opportunity for a presentation, so I’m gonna eat something first. I ordered a latte and a lobster, one of my favorite treats. That crispy puff pastry, filled with vanilla cream, caramel and flor de sal makes me roll my eyes. I ate with such desire that I began to remember how surprising my day was. I thought I would make an illustration of the Timothée, a drawing of how I met him, the ambience was delicious to draw in peace and so I did. I noticed that someone came through the cafeteria door, I heard the sound of the door open. It was him, he was again in the same environment as me. The coincidence was so much that I could hardly believe it, I kept my calm. He sat across the room, pretended not to see it.

On the local radio started playing First date - Blink, obviously I started singing and trying to finish my drawing as soon as possible, who knows he could see before going. "Lets go! Don’t Wait! this night’s Almost over Honest, Let’s make this night last Forever' {Music} Suddenly someone came to my table and put a glass of Vanilla Malt and a snack with a great smell. When I looked up he completed the harmony. - Forever and Ever, Let’s make this last Forever. Hi again! "Are you kidding that this is really happening? And if it is not? Well, I will act as if I were dreaming, I can do better in this communication" - I don’t believe it. This is crazy, what are you doing here at my table?! - Would you like me to leave? - You’re crazy, of course not, sit down, please! - So, what are you doing? Wait, that’s... that’s me?! Fuck! [He pointed to the drawing] - hãnn yes, look.. this coincidence I will never live again. Now in my head I go through a cruel dilemma. - Which would it be? Excuse me. [He took the marvelous drawing and took a photo] - Should I finish it and give it to you, or should I ask for an autograph and frame it? - Hmm look.. my autograph is nothing, I would ruin the drawing, but it’s so awesome, I would love it if it was mine, but I took a picture, it’s worth the frame! - Arranged, Mr. Chalamet. I told him about my passport drama and how distressed I was. His face of "Holy shit, I’m sorry, you’ll have a headache" didn’t help. But he offered me real help with this red tape. "Does that mean I’ll see you beyond today?!" - Okay, you’re tense. Let’s break the ice by relaxing with a theatrical technique. I say a word, you think fast and say the first one that pops into your head. -Okay... Can I get started? [What’s going on here? ] -Yes, of course, yes! - Silver - Gold - Desire - Fire - Friend - you - Call me by your name - And I call you by mine. Oh shit! [laughed with his hand in his mouth] - That’s pretty cool hahaha let me ask. What are you going to do now? I’m really surprised to see you "living normally" - It is sometimes I get this feat. But anyway, I have no plans. - Do you want to go to the street cinema and see what classic is going on today? - My God, yes I am, thank you for the suggestion. We left the cafeteria and I didn’t ask for a job, I don’t regret it, my day is being fucking awesome. We went to the cinema of East Village and Singing in the rain was on display, that was perfect! I’ll watch one of my favorite movies with Timothée, it’s the fourth time I’ve pinched myself and I notice it’s not a dream. This day cannot end. We took the tickets and entered without him being stopped or recognized, I was relieved. And sitting next to him in a movie theater, all I could think about was how I wanted to be able to take his hand, kiss it as classically as the movie we’re watching. He made a story, I’m dying to open my phone and see, knowing that I’m next to him and nobody else but me and he knows, fuck!

At the end of the movie we came out, another coincidence or not, it was raining. I had my instrument and drawing sheets in my purse, but I wanted to literally sing in the rain, only without an umbrella. I dropped everything on the stairs and called him into this brief shower of rain. EPIC. I danced and sang in the rain with Timothée Chalamet and he seems absurdly happy about it.

We end with: "Come on with the Rain I have a Smile on my face I walk down the Lane With a happy refrain Just Singin', Singin' in the Rain" - Do you fancy a bagel or something? - I’m in! Tompkins? - Sure, and you have better? I answer, no way. - That’s so sweet, come on! And so we continued, hungry, laughing and wet. I think he appreciates moments like this, you can see in his eyes extreme pleasure and relief, that’s beautiful. The hunger was so great that we ate 3 bagels with bacon, eggs and cheese. We were wet so we ordered for the trip and ate outside. During the final bites we’ll talk about my passport again. - Where was the last time you saw him and when did you realize he was gone? - The last time was in Moma, the day before yesterday. But I went back there and they did not find.. I realized last night when I was starting to leave part of the suitcases ready to "go back to Brazil tomorrow". - Have you looked in the pockets of the clothes you wore when you went to Moma? - I looked at that jacket 10 times and I couldn’t find it. - Why do you think it’s in my jacket? I always carry a full pair of pants. - My God this is so obvious! I took the laundry to the building, if it is there I owe you my life. - Stop it. Can I go with you and film you finding your passport? [He laughed] - That if I find, will know a mix of relief, gratitude and anger. [laughs together] - Come on.

Yes, my passport and credit card were always "with me", were in the inside pocket of the pants as he had said. I was about to explode with relief!

I was ready to corrupt the good impression made during the day, but I was so excited and happy that I jumped in his lap grabbing his neck and kissing his cheeks.

He was silent as he stared at me confused as he held my thighs around his waist. I felt his breath on my neck, I didn’t want to leave, but I needed to.

- I’m sorry, really, I’m just happy. Thank you. - Don’t worry, it’s fine. I’m glad you found it. Do you still want that autograph? - Of course! [ He signed my drawing and took another picture of it, but this time with me holding the art. ]

- Sing one last song before I go. - My God that hard, I don’t know. Huh.. Sing with me? - If I know. Then I started singing Marvin Gaye’s Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, he seemed surprised. "Just call my name I’ll be there in a Hurry You don’t have to Worry'Cause, baby, there Ain’t no mountain high enough Ain’t no Valley low enough Ain’t no river wide enough To Keep me from Getting to you, baby" We laughed and finished. I was almost crying. Shame, I’m not a child. - So that’s it, I will be eternally grateful for today. Thank you and good luck girl, it was a pleasure. He turned and opened the door, waved his hand. And I recited.. "Now, when Twilight dims the sky above Recalling Thrills of our love There’s one Thing I’m Certain of I will Return to old Brazil" He smiled and came back to me, kissing my forehead. - Until one day, anywhere in the world. - See you, Timolito. He came out and I cried. {This is a fanfic. All I write about is my feelings and desires. TEXT BY: L.M }

#timothee chalamet #timothée chalamet #fanfic #nova york

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makeste · 4 years

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BnHA Chapter 270: Harry Potter Rules

Previously on BnHA: Present Mic punched Ujiko in the face! It was awesome. I’m thinking about getting a tattoo of it. Meanwhile Endeavor saved Mirko’s life by setting her on fire (reason #15 why I will never become a superhero), and Aizawa did some sexy Spider-Man poses for our viewing pleasure while fighting the rest of these Noumus which are still annoyingly refusing to die. Anyway but back to Present Mic, the undisputed MVP of this chapter. Because you see, in addition to the punching, he also used his Loud Voice attack (literally the actual attack name; Horikoshi will steal all of my jokes and leave me with nothing) to smash open Tomura’s Noumutank! Which I really thought was going to immediately lead to Everyone Dying, but apparently I was wrong! Anyways so yeah, right now Tomura’s just lying down all heart-stopped and not-breathing. Which seems very anticlimactic, BUT I JUST HAVE THE CRAZIEST FEELING that maybe, just maybe, the super powerful villain lad who just spent the last three arcs slowly upgrading his bad self just in time to wage war on the world as the story reaches its climax, might not actually be dead though.

Today on BnHA: DON’T MIND THAT OMINOUS ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND, IT’S NOTHING, IGNORE IT. Ahem. So first of all, as some of the bolder among us dared to speculate, Tomura is not, in fact, dead. He’s still very much kicking it with his nipple-less pecs and truffula tree hair, putzing around in his mental landscape filled with crumbled buildings and disembodied Theatrical Gesture Hands. For some reason he doesn’t have shoes or a shirt in his mental landscape, which was a very interesting choice on Horikoshi’s part, but we will speak no more of it. Anyway so to sum things up, Tomura’s family is all “TENKO WE LOVE YOU” and he’s all “oh hey” and then AFO fucking appears and he’s all “COME HERE MY BOY” which is exactly as creepy as you would expect, and for some fucking reason TOMURA ACTUALLY DOES COME HERE. And lol it turns out Ujiko gave him AFO. Like the quirk. Yes, that quirk. So long story short, Tomura is about to be possessed by AFO’s evil soul or some shit, and to put the cherry on top, fucking Deku out of fucking nowhere, MILES AWAY, is all “HE’S COMING.” Because of course he can sense it, because AFOFA IS REAL, AND FUCK ME THIS IS ALL HAPPENING TOO FAST, FUCK.

I know this chapter has been out since like 1pm, but I’m not getting to read it until 5 hours later because for once in my life I was trying to be responsible and actually get some work done on a Friday. I thought this might lead to less oh-god-I-still-have-to-get-that-done anxiety hovering over my weekend, but instead it just led to oh-god-I-have-to-get-the-chapter-recap-done anxiety hovering over my now! anyways so this might be a bit rushed lol

(ETA: yeah turns out this wasn’t exactly the kind of chapter you could just read quickly and get on with your life lmao. so, then!)

what a nice panel of Present Mic taking out the trash

you heard ‘em fellas. the doctor is secured. good job everyone we did it, manga over, congratulations. now to cut away to a two-page spread of Dark Shadow comically smothering Dabi’s flames with a giant stock pot lid, and that’ll be that! what a wonderful, extremely short and strangely underwhelming arc in which we haven’t even seen the actual main characters do anything yet. but I guess we don’t need them since the main bad guy is lying dead on the floor! everything is just so fucking dead and secured!! do you think if I keep repeating it enough Horikoshi will finally be like “okay geez I get it” and reveal his hand already

Mic is now ordering Ujiko to power down the Noumu, which again, I’m sure he will definitely do without a fuss since after all the good guys have clearly won the day

OH SHIT OH FUCK

rip X-Less. gonna just take a moment here to imprint your beautiful face onto my memory before it turns into a pile of ash. your face, I mean. not my memory. well my memory more or less already is a pile of ash but that’s neither here nor there ANYWAYS

:’)

what are these little sound effects. I think that’s supposed to be a buzzing noise?? anyways whatever it is PLEASE STOP IT, I AM NOT HAVING A NICE TIME SO STOP

ffff Horikoshi sure has done an excellent job of setting the mood in such a way that all of these panels of X-Less doing incredibly mild things are sending my stress levels through the roof. like is anyone else reading his lines more or less like “WELP, TIME FOR ME TO DIE, ANY SECOND NOW, WE’RE REALLY DOING THIS, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, HERE IT COMES”

(ETA: when is this poor sweet innocent man going to fucking die already.)

LET’S CUT BACK TO MIC ESCAPING THE IMMEDIATE VICINITY

I have the clearest mental image of Horikoshi standing by with a walkie talkie in one hand and one of those remote bomb detonation clicky switch thingies in the other, patiently waiting to receive the go-ahead once all of the important characters have gotten to safety

anyway so now Ujiko is talking again

no fear everyone this is just the beginning of his verbal noumu deactivation sequence. nothing to worry about. everything is fine

yes for some reason his code phrase to put all the noumus back to sleep involves going into rambling detail about his work researching quirk singularities and shit. it’s fine. it’s not a big deal. code phrases are just like that sometimes all right

just ignore the increasingly panicked look in Mic’s eye as he slowly realizes he was way too fucking keen to just leave the “dead” Tomura back there with his laser-eyed hero buddy. anyway so let’s continue learning all about the Quirk Illuminati or whatever the fuck

okay so... he faked his own death? 70 years ago, at age 50 or thereabouts? I mean, that’s interesting and all I guess. not saying I wouldn’t be thrilled to spend the rest of this chapter learning all about Ujiko’s boring evil life. I don’t need to say it because it’s implied on account of Ujiko sucks and is the worst. so yeah can we get a move on though

oh shit?!?

WHOSE NARRATION IS THAT IN THE BOXES TOMURA IS THAT YOU OH GOD OH GOD

also, comparing AFO’s smile to a buddha’s really sent an actual shudder of disgust down my spine for some reason lmao. I personally would have steered that comparison in a different area, maybe less to buddhas and more to Norman Bates from Psycho, but to each their own

oh shit wait up

okay but this is actually a pretty big revelation though, isn’t it? because it’s been hinted for a while now that AFO and Ujiko had some method of duplicating quirks (the fact that all the Noumu share the same regeneration quirk was the biggest clue, but there was also John-chan’s quirk, as well as Hood’s Muscular-esque quirk), but as far as I can recall, this is the first time we’ve had it confirmed. though to be fair I wasn’t joking when I said my memory really has been shit lately sob

anyway so for real though, can you really call it a BnHA chapter if you’re not spending a good chunk of it being hopelessly confused over the ownership of some ambiguous thought bubbles. WHO IS THIS. I do seriously feel like it’s Tomura, because he’s the wrathful one, but another hallmark of a typical BnHA chapter is me constantly questioning everything I know as I muddle my way through

(ETA: yeah I’m pretty sure it was him. still impressive how vague it is though! it could also potentially be Ujiko, Mic, or even Deku. hopefully Caleb’s translation on Sunday can shed some more light on this. though he wasn’t really helpful last time this happened lol.)

SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

didn’t... you just... say that “preservation” was your quirk?? what do you mean that you wanted it?? CAN YOU JUST FINISH YOUR SENTENCES LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

anyway so here’s a summary of this chapter thus far

present mic: okay goodbye forever x-less

x-less: what a strange thing to say! :) also is it just me or is this machine fucking staring at me

present mic: turn the noumu off please

ujiko: seventy years ago... society... singularity... he’d be 120 years old now...

??: [REPULSIVE FEELING EW WHO’S TOUCHING ME]

ujiko: all for one has the smile of an angel...

??: [SON OF A BITCH I’M SO FUCKING WRATHFUL]

ujiko: my quirk... preservation... the truth is... my quirk... preservation... the truth is... my quirk...

all caught up?? grand. also btw is anyone else super disturbed by the fact that Ujiko recognizes Mic as being “Kurogiri’s friend”, like holy shit though? how would he know that. I can’t think of any implications of this that aren’t super disturbing tbh

anyways back to -- LOL WHAT THE

Horikoshi Kouhei: [furiously scribbling notes to himself at 3am] BUT WHAT IF THE FOLDING CITY FROM “INCEPTION” HAD MORE GIANT HANDS

jesus christ. is this like some mental representation of what shit is currently like in Tomura’s mind? lots of crumbly destruction and traffic lights and the house his father built (isn’t it? I feel like it looks familiar), and SO MANY HANDS, HE JUST LOVES HIS HANDS

anyway so at this point it’s a coin toss whether or not anything in this fucking chapter is ever going to make any kind of fucking sense! but here I am voluntarily along for the ride while Gene Wilder sings that creepy boat song right in my ear!

DSFKLDSJ

ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN FLOATING IN A JAR FOR THREE MONTHS TBH. that is some luscious quarantine hair

SDFLKJSDLFKJSLKFDHLKSDJFLKJLKSDJL:FKJSDL:KJ

(ETA: that Tomura in the top left may be my new favorite panel. look at him. all he is is a nose and chin and ~*~HAIR~*~.)

HANAAAAAA AHHHHHH OH MY LORD OH MY LORD! OKAY I’M FINALLY PAYING ATTENTION NOW FOR REAL! NO MORE JOKES! EVERYBODY SHHHH!!!

FFFFFFFFFF

“LOOK AT ME I’M A MAIN CHARACTER I CAN HAVE STRANGE VISIONS AND TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE IN MY DREAMS, SOUND LIKE ANYBODY ELSE YOU KNOW?” TOMURA SHUT UP I DON’T HAVE TIME TO ANALYZE THIS SCENE THEMATICALLY RIGHT NOW I’M TOO BUSY BEING SAD ABOUT YOUR DEAD SISTER WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY CALCULATING THE ODDS OF THIS SOMEHOW BEING FORESHADOWING FOR HER NOT REALLY BEING DEAD. OH GOD, OH FUCK YOU GUYS, I’M FREAKING OUT

WHAT KIND OF YOUNGER BROTHER DOESN’T CALL HIS OLDER SISTER “NEECHAN” TOMURA WHAT KIND OF ANIME CHARACTER ARE YOU

AT THIS POINT HIS HAIR IS ITS OWN INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WOW

HORIKOSHI PLEASE STOP SHAKING THIS CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE OF SIBLING FEELS SO VIGOROUSLY I AM SO TERRIBLY AFRAID OH GOD

“BY THE WAY TENKO I JUST HAVE TO SAY, YOUR MAN BOOBS ARE SERIOUSLY IMPRESSIVE AND YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD.” YES HANA I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY. HOW ASTUTE OF YOU TO POINT THAT OUT. BOY HAS BEEN HITTING THAT BOWFLEX

WTAF IS HIS HAIR THOUGH SERIOUSLY??!

IS IT JUST ME OR IS THIS DIALOGUE BUBBLE ACTUALLY COMING FROM THE HAIR ITSELF. TOMURA. TOMURA BLINK TWICE IF YOU ARE IN DANGER

SJJKJSKJSW

TENKO IT’S ME YOUR GIANT MOM I’M BEHIND YOU HONEY TURN AROUND AND LOOK HELLO HI I LOVE YOU DO YOU STILL WANT TO BE A HERO

ffff why is he so pretty all the time lately

you are very handsome with your billowy hair and ken doll abs, you. sure are having a lot of trippy visions for a dead guy too there

HEY!!!!

WHO SAID YOU WERE ALLOWED -- DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST -- ffffffffff I need to be alone with my thoughts for a few minutes fuck

okay well. but since it is getting late I guess we’ll just pack these feelings up real quick and put them inside a box and neatly label it “feelings I have about Tomura having a vision of his mom and immediately turning back into his innocent little boy self in said vision as soon as he sees her.” not too sure about the contents of this box yet but I will have to explore them thoroughly at a later date

oh hey it’s this asshole

“THAT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO, DAD.” jesus Kotaro. get over it

and also guess what, if you go and get Tomura all riled up so he wakes up grumpy and disintegrates the first hapless guy he sees, I will hold you solely responsible for that poor man’s death. I’m just warning you now

oh my

I remember this conversation going a bit differently the last time, but hey

LOOOOOOL

HIGH FIVE. PUT ‘ER THERE

WHY WOULD YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED LOL DID YOU NOT JUST TURN TOWARDS HIM WITH A SINISTER MURDER FACE LIKE TWO SECONDS AGO. LIKE WTF DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN

OH NO OH SHIT

FUCK ME, GUESS IT WOULDN’T BE A DRAMATIC BNHA DREAM SEQUENCE IF THIS ASSHOLE DIDN’T MAKE AN APPEARANCE AT SOME POINT OR OTHER NOW WOULD IT

-- HOLY SHIT?!

RECORD SCRATCH, FREEZE FRAME??

holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit

holy shit. fuck

...okay so

is this implying that AFO has been Noumufied? but that doesn’t make any sense, does it? he already had multiple quirks. what other advantages could there be to him becoming a Noumu. well whatever I’m just typing out all of my thoughts real fast for the time being and I’ll try to make sense of them later

or is it because he sees Kurogiri as a father figure? and AFO also?

or is he using Kurogiri’s quirk????? IS HE SOMEHOW WARPING INTO TOMURA’S DREAMS

because that third one, to me, is what this panel most looks like? Tomura says he looks like Kuro, but he doesn’t though. Kuro has a very distinctive face which this is very much lacking. instead it looks to me much more like one of Kurogiri’s portals, with AFO’s buddhaesque smile sticking out. so yeah. I got nothin’. except, again, fuck

(ETA: yeah I obviously have more thoughts about this now, but we’ll get to those in a bit.)

...

.......

-- !!!!!!!!!!LKJLK!JLKJ

oh shit oh shit oh shit

OH SHIT

NO BABY NO DON’T DO IT

GASP

THEY’RE TRYING TO SAVE HIM AHHHH

I HAVE LIKE TEN THOUSAND THOUGHTS IN MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW YET SOMEHOW MY MIND IS ALSO STRANGELY BLANK?? I DON’T EVEN KNOW?? I’LL JUST KEEP READING

KOTARO ARE YOU TRYING TO HELP HIM OR ARE YOU PULLING HIM TOWARD AFO??

OH HE’S PUSHING HIM BACK!! OH SHIT IT’S A WHOLE FAMILY EFFORT

THEY’RE TRYING TO SAVE HIM AFO IS GOING TO TAKE HIM OVER AND THEY’RE TRYING TO PROTECT HIM OH GOD OH JESUS

BABY TENKO EYES OH MY GOD HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE DEKU THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS DEKU FOR A MOMENT

NO TENKO!!!

FUCK -- DOES HE NOT CARE? HE ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN BUT HE DOESN’T CARE?? IS HE TRULY SO PROFOUNDLY MISERABLE THAT HE’D GO AHEAD AND ACCEPT THIS FATE WILLINGLY

NO SOUNDS. NO WORDS. YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW

except that I have the most incredible, chilling, disturbing, electrifying feeling that my mental soundtrack is about to start blaring AFO’s theme from the anime on full blast...!

LOOOOOL SOB OH FUCKK

THE MOST TERRIFYING, DRAMATIC KIP UP YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE!! THIS IS IT, IT’S BEEN REAL FRIENDS, THIS IS WHERE WE DIE

-- ARE YOU REALLY, TRULY, GENUINELY SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW

NOW OF ALL TIMES IS WHEN WE FINALLY CUT TO THE TRIO, I’M CAN’T, I’M FUCK

AND THAT’S THE END AHHHHH

holy shit holy shit holy shit. wow

okay so. I don’t really have any sort of neat and tidy way to wrap up this hot mess of a recap lol. so, just... have a whole mess of all of my stupid whirling thoughts

those first four pages really did nothing to brace me at all lol

okay, so. here’s my understanding of all this, I guess. basically we’re going full Harry Potter rules here. AFO horcruxed his quirk, and from the looks of it, a piece of his soul (perhaps even the main piece) along with it. he then passed it on to Ujiko to implant into Tomura

horcrux!AFO then wakes up, and takes over Tomura. so then my understanding is that he’s going to be possessed by him. and I also got the impression that he’s fully aware of that, but just doesn’t care at this point. he knew his family was trying to warn him, but he didn’t care. and that look in his eyes when he disintegrated them just seemed so fucking resigned to me, though. jesus

but now the more interesting thing! so we can liken Tomura to the resurrected Voldemort from book 5 and onward, reborn after transferring his power into a new vessel. which would go a long way toward explaining how AFO was able to sense what was happening from all the way in Tartarus; because if we liken it to Voldemort and his horcruxes, it would mean that he still has a connection to them (similar to the connection between Voldemort’s mind and Harry’s)

but so now comes the really interesting thing -- what does this then imply about the connection between AFO and Deku? because you’ll recall that AFO alluded to a similar mental connection back when Deku first activated SIXQUIRKS. and now we have Deku somehow being magically aware of AFO’s sudden resurgent presence in this chapter. but why?? if the reason AFO and Tomura share a psychic link is because of a shared quirk, why would Deku also be experiencing the same link? the answer is, he wouldn’t -- unless he, too, had the same shared quirk

in other words, I think All for One for All is fucking confirmed you guys. I can’t think of any explanation for this other than that OFA is also a horcrux quirk. a little piece of AFO broken off and embedded in his brother, and then passed along through the generations. and now residing within Deku

anyway. so that’s a hell of a lot to ponder lol. I guess we can at least be grateful for the fact that we’re not waiting two weeks for chapter 271 like Hori originally planned. can you fucking imagine. what a fucking asshole lol

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paradox-psyc-hoe-sis · 4 years

Text

The Strongest Avenger

Carol x fem!reader, avengers x reader (platonic)

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: so many oh boy. Attempted angst, fluff, insecurity, broken bones, injections + needles, so much gore, organ removal, vomit. If you're sensitive to any gore then please don't read it, I'm sorry oof

A/n: I've never written anything like this before, so feedback is always welcome. Tamika, if you're reading this, I am going to marry Carol Danvers one day. Try and stop me, I dare you. - Aphrodite

"Your turn, Nat!"

You, Carol, Natasha, Wanda and Peter all sat on the floor of your bedroom. Carol had a week free, so she decided to spend that week back on earth with her best friends; she was completing a 6 month long mission and it had been exactly 123 days since you saw her last. Yes, you were counting. Whenever she returns from a mission, you host a girls night (eith the exception of Peter, of course. He looked up to you all so much, you couldn't just not invite him), and tonight you had decided to play a game of 21 dares. It's practically the exact same as 21 questions, but with dares instead. After all, you were avengers, and none of you were scared of a bit of danger.

"Alright, alright." Nat looked deep in thought before her eyes lit up, thinking of the best dare. "Carol. I dare you to make out with the prettiest person in the room." Peter gasped, making everyone laugh, and you met Carol's eyes. She raised and eyebrow, to which you gave a small nod; next thing you knew, she had scooted over to sit next to you, and casually put her lips on yours. You didn't think too much of it; you and Carol were closer than any of the other avengers were, and she probably felt more comfortable kissing you than anyone else. The fact that she had chosen you as the prettiest never even crossed your mind.

You'd had a crush on Carol since the first time you saw her. It was about two years ago; she was moving into the avengers tower, and you had to give her the tour. Her sandy blonde hair fell casually onto her shoulders, and she wore black jeans with a white jumper. You had offered to carry her bags, but that was a mistake - being roughly half a foot shorter and only having 3% of the strength that she has was the fatal flaw. Over those two years, you and Carol grew to be best friends, and your feelings for her slowly faded. What was once a raging fire of passion had fizzled down into a small candle flame, but it shone bright with hope nonetheless. She hadn't changed since you first met her, yet she now sported short hair, rather than her longer curls.

Oh, and now you were kissing her.

Her lips were soft, contradictory to yours which were chapped and rough. You were so focused on her that you didn't hear Wanda trying to get your attention. Carol snaked a hand up to your neck and opened her mouth slightly more, yet you could still feel her smiling into your mouth. Before you could put a hand on her waist, you felt someone flicking your face. Laughing as you pulled away from her, Carol sat back where she originally was, and gave you a wink. Wanda was now knelt next to you, and it became apparent that she was the one who had flicked you.

"Any longer and we would've had to cover Peter's eyes!" Her accent came out thick between a giggle, and you felt a familiar burning in your cheeks.

☆☆☆☆☆

You rolled over in your bed to look at the time; 1:38 am. The game of 21 dares didn't last much longer after your kiss, and you all crashed on your bed. It was the climax of summer, so you wore only underwear and a tank top while you slept. Being sure not to wake anybody up, you climbed off of the bed, internally thanking your past self for choosing to lay on the side closest to the door. Grabbing a pair of pyjama shorts to slip on, you studied everyone's expressions to make sure they were all still asleep, and your eyes lingered on Carol's face for a bit too long. Peter wasn't there, he must've woken up earlier and gone back to his bedroom, you thought. Sighing, you walked out of the door. Even out in the hallway it was blisteringly warm, so you headed to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

The song Dancing Queen by ABBA has been stuck in your head for weeks, so you quietly sang it to yourself on your way to the living area. Once you got to the kitchen you closed your eyes, still singing, and began dancing in the space that you had. Minutes must have passed before you opened your eyes and saw Steve sat at the dining table. He didn't say anything, but instead took a long sip of the coffee he had. Without even flinching at his sudden appearance, you got your bottle of water, and walked out. As you passed him on the way, you leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"This never happened."

Instead of going back to your room, you headed straight towards the elevator, and made your way to the roof. Stepping out into the warm breeze, you walked closer to the balcony. You noted the clarity of the stars above you yet you saw the sun poking out from above the city skyline, and took a deep breath of the early morning air. Disturbing you from tranquility, the sound of the door behind you opening awoke you from your daze.

"Well, if it isn't my favourite earth human."

You turned and saw Carol stood in the doorway, holding two mugs of cocoa.

"Good morning, space alien. What're you doing up?" She walked over to you and handed you one of the mugs. No whipped cream and extra marshmallows, just how you like it. She knew you so well.

"Couldn't sleep, you?"

Before you answered, you took in her appearance. Her short hair was messy as a result of her slumber, and she rocked a matching set of baby pink pyjamas.

"I guess I could say the same. I've had too much on my mind lately." You took a large gulp of your drink, ignoring the fact that its heat felt like molten lava was being poured down your throat. She hummed in response, looking out to the horizon. She turned to you with a frown, sighed, and then asked you a question. "What do you want to do in the future?" The question took you aback, but you knew what you wanted out of life, and you were comfortable telling her. As you thought of your future, you saw a wedding, maybe children, and a steady career.

"Well, once more heroes rise from the future ashes of the avengers, I want to settle down. Helping the earth, and the universe, is everything to me, so I want to work for as long as I can. It would be brilliant to meet somebody soon..." you took a breath, "and possibly fall in love. I don't know about kids, but having somebody to share my life with means the world to me. What about you?"

She was looking at you with such admiration, and you met her gaze. She smiled and turned back to the view, thinking hard. "I think I want to stay on earth." She put it more bluntly than you've ever heard her speak, and you were surprised with the answer.

"Seriously? You literally have super powers, have travelled to so many galaxies, fought the universes biggest threats, and are practically immortal. And at the end of the day, you really want to stay on this junk yard of a planet?"

She faked an offended look and punched you on the arm. "I have more friends of this junk yard of a planet than I do in the entire galaxy. And it's not every day that you get to spend the rest of your life with a group of misfits like us who only care about protecting people. After things have settled down in this realm, I want to stay here to protect my family." You smiled as she turned her head towards you. "And besides, this junk yard of a planet has a very amazing person on it who I'd never be able to get rid of, no matter where I decide to settle down."

You both laughed, and you finished your cocoa. "I'm going back to bed, I promised Natasha that I'd train with her tomorrow and God knows that I need the energy." You smiled and turned to walk away before she grabbed your wrist. Neither of you said anything, but words weren't needed. She pulled you into a hug in which you happily returned, and she gave you a small kiss on the forehead. You stayed like this for a while before you found your eyelids growing heavy. She let you leave for real, this time, and you fell asleep thinking about her.

☆☆☆☆☆

Two days later, you were sat in the conference room with all of the other avengers. Carol sat across the table from you, and you'd love to just stare at her for the entire meeting, but this was important. Somebody in New York had been committing a series of crimes. At first, it was small stuff like shoplifting or stealing somebody's bag on the street. But the longer they were left unnoticed, the bigger their crimes got. Yesterday, you had recieved information that five people were murdered in an attack in the Wall Street building. The criminal went by the name of Neeko, and he always left a note at the scene of the crime. All but one were addressed to the avengers - the note left at Wall Street was addressed to you, and you only. It soon became clear why; you knew all five people killed. One was a former colleague, another was a childhood friend, two of them went to college with you, and the last was your ex-boyfriend. Of course, you were distraught over all of these people being killed, but your determination to catch the killer overpowered your sadness. Steve was

leading the meeting, creating a plan as you went, and you perked up when you heard your name.

"In his last note, Neeko said that if y/n doesn't meet him in the warehouse on 42nd street tonight at 8pm, he'll be attacking one of the schools within the week." Steve looked directly at you. "There's no way that we can find out what school he could be targeting, so we're going to have to use you as bate?"

You nodded, feeling secure. Your family would never let anything bad happen to you, especially not in the hands of a serial killer.

"Now, I don't want to seem condescending, but are you sure you can do this, y/n?" The question came from Sam, who was sat at the opposite end of the table. You glared at him, confused as to what he was talking about.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked calmly, but with a hint of annoyance. They did this to you a lot; you were one of the younger in the group, and you were probably one of the weakest. They'd usually never put you in the centre of a mission, but it was a necessity this time around.

"I'm sure what Sam meant was that five people who are close to your heart have just been murdered." Steve sat in the empty chair next to you. "Are you sure you're stable enough to be put directly into the hands of the person who killed them?"

The wat he phrased it made you furious; they always doubt your abilities, and in this time where protecting your loved ones is more important than ever, they were hesitant to trust you. As soon as he asked you this, you stood up from your chair and stared directly at him.

"Stable? You're asking me if I'm 'stable' enough to be trusted?" You looked around at everybody else. Natasha ducked her head down, Bucky casually shielded his eyes with his hand, Tony gave you a sympathetic look; they all agreed with Steve.

You looked at Carol who gave you a small nod of approval, as if to say 'I wouldn't blame you if you burned down the entire avengers tower just from that remark.' Grabbing your jacket from the back of your chair, you walked out of the conference room. You heard Rhodey calling your name, but you weren't going to go back in there and be treated like a child. You and Carol had arranged to get brunch at 10:30, which was in an hour; you didn't know where you were going, but you were leaving the avengers tower. You needed a break.

Sitting down in a small red booth, you closed your eyes and rubbed your forehead. You went for a walk around the city before going to the diner, and once you were there, you were still far to annoyed to even think about eating. 60s music quietly rumbled from speakers on the walls and the smell of waffles and burgers clouded your thoughts.

"Y/n, are you okay?" You looked up and saw Carol who had just come from the tower. She sat down in the booth and placed her hand on top of yours, stroking the back of yours with her thumb. You sighed before giving her a weak smile.

"They don't think I can do it." You saw her nod, knowing exactly what you were thinking.

"It's not that they don't think you can do it, y/n. They know your abilities and how good you are under pressure, but a few of your friends have just died. They're worried that you might get a bit carried away, or worse."

Before you could reply, Carol got the attention of one of the waitresses and ordered a strawberry and cream waffle for you, and a root beer float for herself. You've both been to this diner so many times together that you each know exactly what you like. As soon as Carol turned back around, you started talking.

"That's the point. They're worried that I can't do my job, when we do this all the time. Every single one of us has been in a situation similar to this; where we've lost someone close to us and have to ignore how we feel, and continue to protect the world. Nobody would dare question Steve or Tony's judgement if they were in my position, so I don't see why they feel the need to question mine."

Carol looked surprised at everything you had just said, and it was clear that she didn't know how to reply. Before she could think of anything to say, you scooted closer to her and wrapped her in a hug. You breathed in the sweet smell of her vanilla perfume and the fresh cotton scent of her tee shirt. She rubbed your back, and you pulled away.

"I have to do this. Not just for myself, or the school kids, or my friends that were killed, but for them. I'm going to smash this mission so hard that they'll never dare question my abilities again." You were both smiling, and Carol gave you a high five.

"That's my girl!"

☆☆☆☆☆

It was nearing 8pm. You, Steve, Bucky, Tony, Natasha and Carol stood outside of the warehouse on 42nd; bringing all of the avengers would seem suspicious, so Steve chose just the right amount of people to protect you and catch Neeko. They were all suited up, except for you. You weren't dressed in your dark purple latex suit, but the skirt and jumper combo that you had worn earlier in the diner. It was your idea; showing up in your suit would alert Neeko and his companions, and make them think that you were planning an attack. Wearing normal clothes would make it seem like you weren't planning anything. When you told Steve, he was impressed that you had come up with the idea, and happily approved. However, you were slightly regretting it now. Being without the suit that Tony had made for you and knowing that you could, possibly, be walking into your place of death gave you a wave of fear, but you brushed it off. You had to prove to the rest of the group that you were more than what they think, or at least you'll die trying.

All of the avengers wore black watches, but when closely inspected, were actually tracking devices. They each had a tiny button on the side that when pressed, would alert every other device of where you were. The button was only to be pressed when you knew you'd be in a certain place for a while, and/or you were in a lot of danger. The button was really only meant to be pressed by you, so the rest of the group knew when to come and get you and where you were. But if another avenger was in trouble and needed backup, they could use it too.

Steve started going over the plan. "As soon as y/n gives us the alert, we head inside. Carol and I will go in from the front and find her, Bucky and Nat will go in from the back to see if there are any hostages or prisoners there, and Tony will fly above the roof and use his scanners to find out how many people inside are working for Neeko."

He gave you a clap on the back. "Are you ready, y/n?" You looked up at him, took a deep breath, and nodded. You were more ready than you'd ever be. You checked the phone in the back of your pocket, which read 7:58pm, it was almost time. Everyone watched as you grabbed Carol's hand, interlaced your fingers, gave it a weak squeeze, and walked straight through the main doors of the warehouse.

Everything smelt damp, and the faint scent of machine oil lingered in the huge hall. You looked around, not seeing a single sign of life in the entire room. You calmly strolled through the warehouse, being sure to stay in the main hall and not get lost in any other rooms.

"Hello? Hellooooo!? Anybody home?" You called into the darkness, hoping somebody would walk out any second. You were about to turn around and make your way back out through the doors before somebody threw a sack over your head. You shouted at whoever was behind you, kicking your legs out in an attempt to knock them over. This failed, and you only aggravated your captor more. They grabbed your shoulders to hold you still, and another pair of hands appeared to tie your wrists together in front of you. The same person who tied your hands also did the same to your ankles, and you felt the familiar pain of rope burn against your wrists and ankles. You continued to shout and scream for help, but the two people who had tied you up had picked you up and carried you away.

When the sack was removed from your head, you were tied to a chair with thick black rope. You looked down at your wrists, and blood dripped down your forearms. Just by looking at your surroundings, you knew you were probably inappropriate storage room; you tried, but failed to reach the button of your tracking device, letting out an angry sigh. The only thing lighting up the room was an old lightbulb above your head, but you could still see what was on the floor surrounding you: bodies. People who you didn't recognize, their organs pooling out of their lacerated stomachs. Their eyes had been gouged out of their faces, and a thick, brown liquid dripped from their mouths. You screamed, not out of fear, but of anger. You shouted until your voice became hoarse and your eyes watered.

Not long afterwards, you heard the locks on the doors being undone. You sat up, preparing for some sort of mob boss to walk in with a set of weapons. Instead, a tall man wearing an apron walked in. He wore a shirt and jeans, a pair of black glasses resting on the bridge of his nose; you would've thought he was a normal person if it wasn't for the heavily blood stained apron he wore. What disgusted you the most was that he looked no older than Tony did. Following him was one of his companions, short and stocky, carrying a sizeable wooden box. Along with them, they brought the scent of blood and rotting bodies.

"It's nice to meet you, y/n." His voice was low and fitting to what you would expect a serial killers voice to be like; thick, eerie, and leaving a sour taste in your mouth. He walked over to you and bent down, examining your face.

"You're a monster."

He chuckled at your stern expression, and didn't reply. You squirmed and wriggled in your seat, desperate to break free and kick him in the balls. Instead of breaking free from the chair, you just caused yourself more pain. Blood continued to slowly drip past your wrists and onto your hands, coating your dainty fingers in pure red. Noticing how desperate you were to get out made him visibly frustrated, so he stood up and gave you a hard punch in the face. This was the hardest you've ever felt somebody punch you, and you've trained with Steve before.

Your ears started ringing and vision went blurry. He had, quite obviously, broken your nose. Blood poured out of your nose like a waterfall, and you could feel a bone sticking out of place. You groaned, sitting up straight in your chair. Although you weren't really listening, he began talking again, pacing around the room.

"I know you and your little group of superheroes have been getting my letters, and I have to say, I'm quite offended," he stopped and looked at you, "you never wrote back. I'm sure your angry, y/n, I really am. After all, I killed some of the people who you trust with your life, and I'm about to do more than just that."

You were confused by what he meant, before his companion handed him a laptop. He placed it on the floor in front of you, and you saw what appeared to be security camera footage of another room in the warehouse. Two people were tied up on chairs just like you, and it took you a moment to recognize who those two people were.

Your parents.

And before you could open you mouth to ask him why your parents were here, another figure appeared on the screen. It was him.

"How are you in two places at once?" You asked, seeming stupid. He laughed again, a low, broad chuckle.

"Oh, you silly girl, I'm not in two places at once. That was recorded half an hour ago." You put two and two together and realised that your parents were here half an hour ago, and the blood on his apron was fresh. You couldn't think of anything to say, so instead, you watched the video. You gasped when Neeko pulled out a knife, and screamed bloody murder when you saw him slit both your mother and your father's throats. You looked away, but he grabbed your head and forced you to see what happened to your parents. With the knife, he cut out their organs and their eyes, being sure to look into the camera every now and again. You were sobbing, your eyes were puffy and red, matching the crimson blood that covered the bottom half of your face.

"That's enough! I can't watch any more!" You screamed up at him, choking on your own sobs. He showed no pity as he flicked his fingers at his companion, who went and collected the wooden box. Neeko opened it in front of you, showing you a syringe full of clear, slightly yellow tinted liquid. Before you could scream for help, he had already put the needle to your neck and injected you with the serum. Your eyelids began to feel too heavy to keep open, and you fell into a deep slumber.

You woke to the sound of knives being sharpened. You were still bound to the chair, but were in a different room. It was much larger, with a few mahogany desks along one of the walls. Instead of paperwork being laid on top of the desk, there was a selection of knives, scissors and other surgical tools. You knew what was about to come, and you were prepared for the worst.

"If you're going to try and kill me then you've picked the wrong fight." Everything hurt as you spoke, but you meant what you said. The avengers would be worried by your lack of alert, and would come and find you. Any minute now, Steve and Carol were bound to break down the door and rescue you.

"Oh, I'm not going to kill you, little girl." You hated him calling you that, you were in your mid early twenties but never treated like it, not even from the avengers.

"No, I'm not going to kill you. But what I am going to do is mess you up so badly that you'll never be able to fight with your precious friends ever again, and you'll live with the knowledge that you weren't strong enough to save your parents, and you weren't strong enough to save yourself." You spat at his face, which only made him laugh even more.

Turning his back to you, he picked up a knife from one of the desks. He walked over to you and sat down on an empty chair that you never even realised was beside you. Your legs were bare under your skirt, showing the most skin than any other part of your body. He placed the blade of the knife on the middle of your thigh and slowly pressed it in. You screamed, pure agony surging through you body. Hearing you scream only made Neeko want to continue, so the more you screamed the deeper her pushed the knife. Only the first half of the blade was inside of you, but you only realised how bad it was when you felt the cold metal hit your bone. He pulled the knife out and basked in the sound of your piercing screams. Just in fucking time, you heard a knock on the door. Who in the living hell would be knocking at the door while this was going on?

Neeko rose and went to answer the door. Only opening it slightly, he peered out at who was there. Then, you heard her voice.

"Pizza delivery, motherfuckers." She sent a photon blast directly to his face, and then another to his companion. She strode in, and as soon as she saw you she went pale. Your entire face, arms, thighs and ankles were drained in your own blood, and you were bound to a chair, panting. She ran over to you and broke the ropes with her own hands, and pressed the alert button on her watch. She knelt beside you, and once you were fully untied, you couldn't help but collapse directly on top of her. Your arms were draped over her back as she picked you up in a fire man's lift, walking out of the door to meet the other avengers.

☆☆☆☆☆

It had been 6 days since the night in the warehouse. After passing out, you were taken back to the tower by Carol, Bucky and Nat, where Bruce managed to identify and heal your injuries, to the best of his ability. Steve and Tony caught Neeko and his accomplices, turning them into S.H.I.E.L.D., their fate was to be decided by Nick Fury. It took you 3 days to wake up from your passing out; whatever they had injected you with keeps you asleep for longer, and they had put far too much in you. Once you had finally awoken, you used the next three days to recover in and out of bed, being forced to do mandatory small exercises to ensure your body was working perfectly. The sixth day was your first day fully out of bed, walking around the avengers tower. You needed crutches, as the wound on your leg wasn't big enough for stitches and had to recover independently. Additionally, you wore a small brace on your nose, so your bone could be shaped back into place. The only people you had seen since waking up were Bruce, Steve, and Peter. Steve had come to tell you everything that happened, and Peter came to see if you were okay. Bruce recommended no visitors until you were able to get out of bed, as it could over stimulate you, but Peter couldn't sleep knowing that you were in pain.

Carol left 3 days ago to return to her mission. She was the only person who you wanted to see; you had been through so much, and nobody could get you thought it better than her. Hobbling into the elevator, you went to the roof. You were wearing a onesie, courtesy of Wanda, and just wanted to be alone on the balcony to see the city like you and Carol had done a week ago. Once the elevator doors opened, you felt the chilly evening breeze hit your skin. Before you could step out of the elevator, you saw somebody stood on the balcony. You didn't recognize them at first, but they knew exactly who you were.

"Well well well, my favourite earth human seems to be doing quite well considering that she almost died last week."

Carol turned around and jokingly winced when she saw the state you were in, and you would've laughed if you weren't in complete shock.

"Carol..."

"Y/n."

"What are you doing? You shouldn't still be on earth." You made your way over to meet her on the balcony.

"I couldn't just leave you in a coma while I fight crime across the galaxy."

You laughed, and grabbed her hand, not a single worry crossing your mind.

"I love you, Carol. I have for ages, but I've never appreciated how much you mean to me until now." She smirked, raising a hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

"I love you too, y/n." You stood on your tip toes to kiss her, and she pulled back immediately when you did. You worried that you had done something wrong.

"It feels better to do this now that we're actually a couple." You both laughed as she leaned back into the kiss, but instead, she accidentally bonked your brace with her nose, which resulted in even more laughing.

You have been waiting so long for this.

86 notes · View notes

shadowed-dancer · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on the Cats Movie soundtrack

Still haven’t seen the film, but I thought I’d give my opinion based solely on the music of this MUSICAL film, ignoring the CGI and any story beats they may have added (also for context, I’ve seen the staged musical and I actually enjoyed it)

Fun fact, all thoughts were written as I was hearing the songs, so it’s entirely my first, gut based reactions. You are reading it exactly as it popped into my head upon hearing bits of the songs

This ended up being way longer than I thought so it goes under a cut. Enjoy

Overture

I wasn’t going to review the overture but there’s a weird synthesizer and I needed to point it out

Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats

It doesn’t sound right. The pacing at the beginning is off. Once the chorus kicks in it gets better (but it comes later?)

It got weirdly... techno? Idk if that’s the right word

There are a lot of solos especially during the “practical cats, dramatical cats” list. At first I didn’t like it cause I really love when groups of people sing together, but it grew on me

Although Misto (I think) quickly adding in “and magical cats” at the end of the list is really cute. I love my boy

Old Gumbi Cat

The man singing is great (Munkustrap? Idk if they changed it) but I miss Jenny’s preppy and peppy attitude from the musical

Also I miss the 3 girls who used to sing the “Buuuut when the day’s hustle and bustle is done”

There’s a part that I think is the mice singing? Not a fan. I’m scared

I don’t hear any tap shoes, hopefully she does get her tap solo in the movie but from what I’ve heard in reviews, I don’t think she does

I actually like the very end bit. I never liked the musical version where they sing “for she’s a jolly good fellow”. This one flows a bit better and rhymes when she says “thank you my dears”

Rum Tum Tugger

Dang, this is funky! I actually don’t hate it

Is... is Grizabella the Glamour Cat cut? Or just not on the album? That was actually one of my favourite songs I’m sad it’s gone. I wanted to hear Demeter’s voice

Bustopher Jones

It isn’t as bad as I’d feared. I was nervous about James Corden, but it’s pretty ok

It’s not my favourite song to begin with so it’s pretty meh. This version is good for what it is

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

This is so different and I miss the energy, but I actually don’t hate it. It gives off a very sneaky type of energy and I kind of like it

It’s hard to grasp a tune though

Also, I like Rumpleteazer’s voice. It’s cute

Old Deuteronomy

It’s pretty similar to the original tbh

Someone in the comments on the video said it’s still Munkustrap singing, in which case he’s doing a very good job!

I miss his duet with Tugger though

Also Old Deuteronomy no longer buried 99 wives, but instead lived 99 lives? Ok

Oh jeez I was not expecting her voice to sound like that

Beautiful Ghosts

It’s ... actually kind of nice?

I was worried, but so far I’m not hating a lot of these added “Oscar bait” songs (Never more alone from Les Mis, No one would listen from Phantom, Evermore from Beauty and the Beast)

“No beauty in my memory” is that a parallel to Grizabella’s line “I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then”

She mentions “memories” a lot. Is she being set as a reflection of Grizabella? (wanting to be wanted and wanting to fit in)

“At least you have something” who is the “you?” Misto? The Jellicle tribe? A plural “you” referring to the world?

I feel like if she is singing this to Misto it will break up the pacing of the film, idk how to explain it. Like this song is nice but it’s slow, maybe that’s ok though cuz it comes right after Old Deuteronomy (the song)

Her voice is very pretty and I almost started tearing up. I was hesitant of them using Victoria as an audience surrogate (someone to have the cats introduce themselves to) but I like it. They seem to have made her an actual character

Oh shoot, epiphany! Is this song meant to replace the first “Memories” that goes before intermission? Because that’s not on the soundtrack. If that’s the case that’s actually smart

Gus

I miss Jellylorum singing about him. That being said, even though he doesn’t really sing, I feel it fits him fine

His Gandalf is showing. For some reason the beginning reminded me of Lord of the Rings where he is singing “the road goes ever on and on”

It’s odd not having Jellylorum sing about him. It’s less sympathetic when he sings about himself

Um, does Gus not perform a play about the Pekes and the Pollicles? I’m... actually ok with that thank you for cutting the run time down

For those curious, the Pekes and the Pollicles was moved in the Broadway revival and US tour to be after Gus’ song. It serves as him reliving his glory days by performing one of his old plays

Skimbleshanks

It’s kept the same fun, lighthearted energy that I loved so much

There are some weird pauses but I’ll let it slide

That weird electric/techno sound is in the background again

They cut it down... a lot. I don’t blame them though, it was a very long song. And the parts they kept are executed amazingly

Was... was that tap dancing? So maybe Jenny really isn’t a tap dancer any more. Dang it

Macavity

It’s no longer a duet... they’re really cutting all the fun duets, eh?

Where is Demeter? Is she ok?

Also Taylor Swift is British

Overall the performance is pretty good

“He’s outwardly respectible. I know he cheats at cards” ok that line used to make sense as a duet cuz it was like Demeter would say one thing and then Bombalurina would come and add to it/contradict it. Now it’s weird to be sung by the same person (at least I THINK that’s Taylor singing both parts)

Wait... is that Macavity saying “the Napoleon of crime”? Why is he present? I know something changed in the timing but does he steal Old Deuteronomy AFTER this song? Cuz that just seems weird. Like “Ok now that you know who I am, let’s go”

The alternative is that he returned after stealing her to taunt the Jellicles which might work? It may not have even been him who said the line though lmao

Mr. Mistofelees

Oh man they did my boy dirty

Why is he so breathy? Is he nervous? You’re supposed to be the greatest magician ever! What did they do to his character?

Also why is he singing about himself? Someone help him

The breaks after the chorus are starting to annoy me. It’s disrupting my jam

“Not long ago this phenomenal cat...” ok I know that technically that is grammatically correct if he gestures to himself, but because the whole song is now first person it just sounds weird

Wow, EVERY duet I cared about it gone. Like, I don’t even ship Tugofelees but I could respect it! And I obviously acknowledge they have SOME sort of relationship in the musical (platonic, one sided admiration, or otherwise) so why cut it? Also I loved Tugger singing this song. I’m just mad.

You know what? Scratch that, it didn’t even need to be Tugger, just SOMEONE sing with him holy corn

Oh ok wow so can Old Deuteronomy just not sing? I thought she was supposed to play Grizabella in the London production, why is her voice so scratchy?

This song in the musical was my favourite because of it’s fun energy and flowing beat. Well the beat doesn’t flow and the energy is gone so good news Skimble you’re my favourite song for this recording so far. Congrats

Ok but Misto singing “as meeeee” as the rest of the cast sings the chorus is actually kind of adorable

Woah woah woah wait someone else is introducing him at the end? Why couldn’t you have helped throughout the entire song?????

The meows... I can’t

Memory

Her words sound slurred? Is that just me? I know the song so I know what she’s supposed to be saying, but if I hadn’t known I wouldn’t understand a lot of it

Her voice is pretty solid aside from that though

I know people were mad Victoria sings with her, but with Beautiful Ghosts as her song, I think it’s thematically appropriate

Ok the climax is well done

Oh wait what? The energy just disappeared. Bring it back!

Off topic but if you want to hear a really good Grizabella, check out Keri Rene Fuller. I got to see her live and I legit cried her climax was amazing she belted it so loud it literally shook me, like I could feel the vibrations in my chest

The Ad-dressing of Cats

Oh no I have to listen to her sing a whole song

It sounds like she’s sing-talking. It worked for Gus, not so much here

Apparently she looks directly into the camera during this scene

Ok she did it before but I noticed it on this lyric. “To treat you as a trusted friend”. Old Deuteronomy used to go up on “trusted friend” but she goes down. It brings the whole energy down

She did it again on “Straudsberg pie”

I know she’s saying “aim” but it sounded like she said “end” which made the last lyric (name) sound like it didn’t rhyme. Oh boy.

To conclude, lots of changes. Not all good, but not all bad either. Some questionable casting and directions, but I’m excited to see it. Hopefully some of my questions are cleared up.

I may make a full review of the film once I've seen it.

#cats movie #cats munkustrap #mr mistoffelees #mister mistoffelees #rum tum tugger #macavity #old deuteronomy #jennyanydots #bustopher jones #grizabella #I finished this review last night at midnight lmao #no way I was posting it then though

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imuybemovoko · 4 years

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I die inside while dissecting Jesus music

For this fun little exercise in self-torture, I’m going to find a weird worship song and dissect it. Today I feel like saying death-cult a distressing number of times so I’m going to find one that talks about how the next world is supposed to be better for this one.

I’m probably going to regret this. And probably cope by blasting metal while I do this.

I’ll go with a bit of low-hanging fruit for this first one: Even So Come. It’s attributed six ways to Sunday because like seven different artists/groups have a recording of it somewhere out public, but this lyric site thingy says Chris Tomlin. Some of these songs get wildly popular to the point where even as a church guitar guy (read: very large fan of this shitty music) I tended to find it a bit confusing to tell who originally wrote them. This is an example. I think it was probably Kristian Stanfill but uh... I can never be 100% sure. I’ve been wrong about ones I was way more sure about before.

This song is repetitive as fuck, like a lot of these, because what helps indoctrinate people more than literally singing the same words for 15 minutes?

Let’s get into this shit.

The song

I’ll spare you a few minutes of your life if you want to keep it. I already linked the lyrics, but I’ll give this a quick listen to make sure Stanfill doesn’t literally freehand some new lyrics during the video; if he does, I’ll discuss that too I suppose. The whole point of this is that I’m listening to this shit so you don’t have to. But if you really want to, then go off I guess. I can’t and honestly wouldn’t try to stop you. Unless this shit is triggering to you. In that case please don’t listen. It used to fuck me up hard when my brother would blast songs like this in the shower after I deconverted. I don’t want that happening to anyone out there. Tread with caution.

Okay. I wrote that while I was listening, and apparently he doesn’t yeet off into new spontaneous lyrics at any point. I think that’s more of a Bethel thing, but I don’t remember it being exclusive to them so I had to make sure.

Ok, let’s do this more or less in order. I’ll take it a verse at a time. But first, let’s talk formatting. The first two verses aren’t separated by anything, and the third is after the first chorus. After the third verse they play the chorus again, then the bridge. The AZLyrics entry under Tomlin lists it twice; Stanfill plays it twice. When I was on the worship team at a church, we’d typically play the bridge four times for extra drama. After this, they end with two tricks. First is that they play the first half or so of the chorus, then a whole chorus right after it. Again, this is for extra drama. The leader of the worship team at my old church would tend to point to one part of the song as the “climax” and we’d do a fair amount of this kind of shit leading up to it. In this particular case, it’s actually most of the chorus, leaving off only the “even so come” lines. The break is at a lyrically appropriate place more often than it’s just like “haha 2 bars into the chorus” or something like that because of course the message has to be consistent. After this, they fade the song out by repeating the last line or two, like, umpteen times to foster a contemplative mood. (It works. I’ve been on both ends of this dynamic. If you’re in a more charismatic crowd, my experience suggests that this final repetition is the most likely point where someone’s going to fall out and start speaking in tongues or something. Also, in those circles sometimes one of the vocalists, most often the team leader because of course, will give some kind of “word from God” to the congregation.) That’s the format, and it’s a very common one. At church camps and retreats and events like those, often they’ll loop choruses or bridges or ending tags or, sometimes (but far less often), verses and extend a song like this one to like fifteen or twenty minutes. In a typical church service they don’t really do it that way though because people might get impatient or something.

On to the lyrics of this song. I’ll address the verses in order, then the chorus and bridge, then talk ordering, because doing this chronologically would get annoying as fuck. The first verse is as follows:

All of creation All of the earth Make straight a highway A path for the Lord Jesus is coming soon

Notice the equivocation in the first two lines here. The author most likely believes this is an accurate thing to equivocate, and so do most of their audience.

The next two lines are a similar repetition, using both modern and more Biblically-flavored language, in reference to Mark 1:3. The particular language used is not altogether different from most English translations. These lines, both in the sense that the author intends and in their function in the song, are meant to prepare the listener for what follows: “Jesus is coming soon.” A reminder of the inevitable apocalypse most Christian sects teach and, in their view, the second chronologically of two most important events in the entire history and future of the world (the first being the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ). Every verse of the song ends with this reminder.

To boil the message of this verse down into one word:

(I have entirely too much fun with this image lol)

The second verse:

Call back the sinner Wake up the saint Let every nation Shout of Your fame Jesus is coming soon

“Call back the sinner” implies a return to origins and contains an implicit reference to the prodigal son in the parable in Luke 15. The implication is that being a “sinner” (and I’ll discuss the dichotomy in a second here) is a life of running away from God either by ignorance or by choice, and that they were originally with God. The typical narrative on the mechanisms of the fall of man seems to suggest otherwise because only Adam and Eve were technically originally with God and everyone else starts out separated because of that lovely little generational curse thingy, this is a bit of an odd take, but in light of the evangelical perspective that not only a god, but their god is so self evident that people have to make the active choice to not believe, this makes an entire hell of a lot of sense, and “calling back the sinner” could entail saying “lol stop wasting your energy running from what you know.”

The next line engages in a bit of common guilt-tripping. Saying “wake up the saint” implies that believers and churches have fallen asleep in some sense, and that’s actually a perspective referenced in the letters to the seven churches in Revelation, each church getting a different flavor of messaging like this. When churches and saints are called to “wake up”, it means to cease engaging in whatever behavior is apparently polluting their message, i.e. forgetting the original reason they’re doing this, normalizing “worldly” practices, bad leadership paradigms, etc. Thus, I’m inclined to read this line as something like “you’re better than the rest of humanity; act like it.

Also of note is this dichotomy established here between “sinners” and “saints”. This is, on paper at least, the only important distinction in evangelicalism. (In practice they have a lot of shitty perspectives on women because of Paul’s writings as well as some class and/or racial biases, unconscious or conscious depending on the particular congregation.) A “saint” is a “true” Christian, one who is “set apart” from the world by God. A “sinner” is literally anyone else. In addition to their entire laundry list of harmless actions that are considered sins, Evangelicals (and probably many other Christians honestly) will say that to be non-Christian is a sin. In my old church and its affiliates I often heard that to remain non-Christian for an entire lifetime is the only unforgivable sin, identifying it with the “blasphemy of the Holy Spirit” referenced in Matthew 12:31. There are a wide variety of perspectives on what this “blasphemy of the Holy Spirit” actually means, and I can really only confidently speak to Calvary Chapel’s perspective on that. In any case, this song makes use of the “sinner vs saint” dichotomy common in Christianity. I analyze it as a typical “us vs them” with an added twist that says “the ‘them’ can become us and that’s better”.

After this is a reference to the passages in the Bible that speak of the Gospel being spread to “every nation” and things such as that, and that every nation will come under Christ’s lordship at the end of time. Then there’s a reminder that the singer is awaiting this apparently fast-approaching end.

The third verse:

There will be justice All will be new Your name forever Faithful and true Jesus is coming soon

This third verse is mostly a reference to events predicted to occur after the second coming of Christ. In Revelation, among other places, there is a described sequence of events in which the world comes absolutely fucking unglued, falls under the thumb of a tyrannical world government run by some guy who lets himself get possessed by Satan, and then is yeeted by God and soaked in the blood of Satan’s armies at the final battle. A bit later, for some reason Satan has to be let go for a bit, but he loses hard once again. After this, God yeets the unbelievers into hellfire and makes a new world which he rules forever. In short, the collapse, battles, and Great Divine Yeet are what this “justice” describes. The remaining lines speak of this renewed world run by Jesus himself. Lastly, we have the reminder that this is all going to happen before very long here.

There’s a bit of a double-reference thing going on here and in the second verse too, and I’m honestly not entirely sure what to make of it, but it shows up often in contemporary Christian music. They’ll switch between referring to God in second person (Your name forever) and in third person (Jesus is coming soon). It seems ...most likely to be a matter of convenience, and I’m rather inclined to treat it as that because the other things I think of seem either counter-productive or very, very outlandish. Like, are they alternating between addressing God and addressing the listener? Maybe, but the message of this song is so much more listener-directed that I find that thought kinda weird.

In any case, that’s the verses.

Now let’s get to the chorus. This is repeated after the first two verses and again several times after the third, and it contains a lot of deeply cursed metaphors. I mean holy fuck.

Like a bride Waiting for her groom We'll be a church Ready for You Every heart longing for our King We sing Even so come Lord Jesus come Even so come Lord Jesus come

So the first two little couplets here refer to a metaphor found in several places in scripture where the church is the “bride” of Christ. This. is. CREEPY! In the old testament, the role of the wife is often analogous to that of property, so that’s deeply gross. Further, Paul says men are the head of women, i.e. have great authority over them, and women should be subservient. Jesus doesn’t honestly do a whole hell of a lot to resist this, and powerful women throughout most of the scriptures are either defined as attaining their power in “God-honoring” subservient ways like Esther or as dangerous demonic influences operating under the “spirit of Jezebel”. (”Jezebel” is literally a scriptural term for this kind of thing; one of the church letters in Revelation uses it. Many evangelicals/fundies add “spirit of” because of their borderline-animistic take on spiritual warfare. I might describe that in more detail in a later post. It’s a metaphor based on an old-testament queen who is presented as manipulative and narcissistic, taking the real power in the kingdom from her husband by manipulation and doing a great deal of damage with it.) Thus, in this context, I find the “bride” metaphors inextricable from a tyrannical, abusive relationship in which the man, or in this case Christ, is the absolute head. Biblical ideas on marriage and family life are an entire problem too, establishing what I feel very confident in describing as an abusive power dynamic. Thus, this song references a metaphor by which Christ is described as having abusive control over his people. @kristian stanfill thanks I hate it. @whoever the fuck wrote the bible thanks I hate it. The couplet in this song is describing a situation in which the church is waiting to submit to an abusive authority and it’s fucking disgusting and I hate that I used to live that way.

The next line, “every heart longing for our king”, indicates that it’s normative to strongly desire this power dynamic and expresses a probably-genuine (mine was) desire for more of Jesus on the part of the writer and the singer. So with these preconditions established, they say, “we sing, even so come, Lord Jesus, come”, repeating “even so come” and on twice for added weight. The chorus and bridge are, by the way, where this seems to get deathculty.

Remember that in referencing the coming of Jesus, they reference ideas that this world is shitty and being dead and in heaven/having the world destroyed by God and replaced is going to be a hell of a lot better. The Bible and many churches, particularly evangelicals, will even use language like “dying to oneself” to refer to the process of laying down one’s life for the cause of Jesus. Thus, death metaphors infiltrate their literal daily living. The general attitude that’s expected for people to have in those circumstances is one of “I won’t seek death actively but I will welcome it when the time comes”, and coupled with the way the other forms of abuse broke me, this had me fantasizing about dying in third-world countries for getting too annoying about Jesus. So that’s pretty wack, I suppose. This belief system is one that puts death on a very disturbing pedestal. This entire song is about preparing for the return of Jesus, which is going to bring a hell of a lot of death if it happens as they predict. This very deadly event is what “Jesus is coming soon” entails, and it’s one of two possible interpretations that I can think of to apply to these “even so come lord Jesus come” lines. The other is that they believe that Jesus is present with them when they worship (Matthew 18:20) and they seek to experience this presence. But the preparatory nature of this song, in my experience at least, puts very strong priority on the first sense, even though it can be, and in church settings often functions as, both. These lines are a plea for personal transformation and for the apocalypse. In the vanishingly unlikely event that the Christian version of the divine turns out to be true, billions will die in wars and disasters (some actively caused by God’s agents) and many of those same billions and many more people, including me, will be victims of the Great Cosmic Yeet and land in hellfire forever. And they want this to happen sooner rather than later. That’s literally the main point of this song.

So we wait We wait for You God we wait You're coming soon

This is the bridge. It’s typically repeated kind of a lot. Like, I mean holy fuck they repeat this. It’s literally just “we’re excited for the second coming of Christ”. You know, in case someone needed a reminder that they want billions dead, even more people yeeted into hellfire, and the entire world destroyed. Evangelical and fundamentalist strains of Christianity are literally a death cult.

So with that rant-filled analysis out of the way, let’s see if I can talk formatting without dying inside again or getting too pissed off.

On the lyric site I linked above (and I’ll link it again so you don’t have to scroll through whatever literal mountain of text and cursed images I’ve produced) this goes verse 1, verse 2, chorus, verse 3, chorus, bridge twice, weird most-of-chorus tag, chorus, the last two lines like several times over. Thus, already we have multiple repetitions of most concepts found in this song. Also, this two verses-chorus-third verse-chorus-bridge several times-chorus twice-ending tag format is quite common in contemporary Christian music, in the studio recordings, official lyrics, and chord sheets you’ll find out there. But I cannot stress enough that this structure, especially the bridge and latter choruses but the entire structure including the verses, is extremely modular. Anything can be repeated, or repeated more times. Anything can be re-inserted in another place. This is mostly a Bethel thing in my experience, but there can be instrumental breaks for one of the vocalists to yeet out entirely spontaneous lyrics. There can be massive empty instrumental breaks, or instrumental breaks with spoken words in them. And I’ve seen even less of that, but parts of other songs can be inserted just about anywhere too, and I’ve actually participated in that one on occasion. To an extent, any music can be handled in ways like this, but it seems to me like contemporary Christian music is consciously designed that way because its target audience goes nuts over long, “spirit-filled” songs played at church camps or an extra spicy church service.

It’s also worth noting, and if I end up doing a whole lot of these I’ll probably explain this in a great deal more depth, that these songs can get reasonably similar to one another. I think that’s because to a very large extent, the words and structure matter a hell of a lot less than the way they set the mood. You can get the same impact on a crowd of willing Christians from probably literally any combination of these songs. I always had my favorites but that didn’t seem to matter that much.

I’m inclined to say some of the same things about a lot of modern music, actually. It has common structures, a lot of music is interchangeable for certain moods, etc. But I can’t say a thing about the modularity of modern music. A song seems to be way more of a distinct unit in most environments. Mashups do happen, but massive repetitions of one piece of a song generally don’t in any context that I’m aware of. They’ll jam out on an instrumental for a while at concerts sometimes, but you really don’t get this, like, singing “Crawl on your belly til the sun goes down, I’ll never wear your broken crown, I took the road and I fucked it all away, in this twilight how dare you speak of grace” more than like the twice they do it in the studio recording from most groups like you do in very many Christian music settings. (The example chorus I put here was from Mumford and Sons- Broken Crown. It’s an amazing song, I totally recommend it lol it was the first one that popped into my head for this purpose.) Some other commonalities are present in a lot of modern music, but for the most part, that modularity would just come across extremely weird. I think just about every time I’ve either seen or been involved in the playing of Even So Come at a church, the musicians engaged in at least some degree of modularity, most often by repeating the bridge but sometimes uh... holy crap. Because of the extreme prolific use of these songs in church or retreat settings, I’m inclined to list the modularity as the single most important aspect of the formatting of this song and of many others.

#ex christian #contemporarychristianmusic #worship #i probably need therapy #dead inside

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queen--sherlock · 4 years

Text

intimate nights -- chapter 1

chapter 1: washing up to the shore

hey guys! thank you SO much for motivating me to write aaa i haven’t written anything in almost four years so forgive me if im a lil rusty but i’ll do my best !! 🥺 i imagined this as ben!rog but can be just rog in any era but modern setting x actress!reader !! hehe

this short series would have around 10-ish chapters so i hope you guys enjoy! 🥺 here we gOOOOOO

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The Rising Queen of Hollywood, ___________ is featured in a new heartache-inducing, bittersweet movie titled Intimate Nights partnered with Richard Jones as her leading man. Set in the beautiful island of Santorini, ________ and Jones are expected to steal and break the hearts of many with heartbreak, lovemaking, and powering through rocky relationships.

Fans can also expect a regal musical score with the director of Intimate Nights revealing a once-in-a-lifetime collaboration with Queen’s drummer, Roger Taylor for creative input and other surprising musical acts to further entice you to watch this blockbuster in the making.

Intimate Nights is due for a release Valentines next year. “And … scene! That’s a wrap for Intimate Nights and we’re headed for post prod!”

The crew and all the actors celebrated for joy, culminating their year of hard work with the movie that is very much anticipated. The magnitude of anticipation grows every month as the release date comes closer and fans are eager to see _________ and Richard on screen.

“Hey, _____! That was fantastic, I can’t believe filming’s over!” Richard approached you and welcomed you in his arms, giving you a warm embrace. The both of you have shared a lot in the past year you’ve worked together, even getting paired up as a rumor which both of you quickly denied.

“I know, it all happened so fast. You were a great partner, it would be lovely to celebrate with everyone, too!” You said until Richard abruptly stopped hugging you with an excited look on his face.

“But you know what I’m more excited about? The drummer of Queen is going to post prod with us, he’ll be working on the musical score and I’m fucking pumped!”

Your heart almost jumped at the thought of getting to meet your lifelong crush, Roger Taylor. The infamous drummer of Queen has been collecting hearts ever since they rose to fame, collecting your heart was an easy task. Your rising fame does not change that especially now that you get to work with him indirectly.

A few days has passed with the studio being slowly cleaned and sorted out after filming is done, you and Richard got called by the director to check out some scenes which you want to be included and others will be offered in the director’s cut. Being in the studio makes you a little drained and you got coffee for yourself and everyone else.

“Do you guys have any requests? Sugar? Cream?” You asked with collective answers that blurred along as you heard them, briefly taking notes who ordered what.

“Rog’s would be black, ______! He’s running a little late, ran into some LA traffic!” The director chuckled and made you blush as you ran off to the nearby coffee shop you always order from.

Taking your time with ordering and walking back to the studio hides the real reason why you’re not in a hurry to get back because you want to be presentable and composed the moment you see Roger.

“Ah, there she is!"

Richard announced which prompted the director and Roger to look at you, making you blush. The Roger Taylor is looking at you and is seating at your designated chair with your name on it.

“The lovely owner of this chair finally arrives with coffee, I can swear I am one step closer to heaven with the scent of beans from miles away.” Roger grins and helps you distribute the coffee to Richard and the Director. “It’s also a plus to be sitting in the chair of the most beautiful actress in this room.”

“Roger, I’m the only actress in the room right now.” You laughed and his grin widens.

“That’s perfectly fine by me!”

After choosing the scenes that you want to include and can let go off in the movie, Richard excused himself to be able to attend to a previously planned appointment. Roger and the Director are busy thinking of the most perfect and fitting music scores in the climax wherein you started falling asleep.

“__________?” Roger shook you awake, with a sorry smile on his face. He probably feels guilty now for waking you up but it’s perfectly fine by showing it with a smile and stretching it at the same time.

“Hey, I’m sorry for falling asleep on you guys. What happened?” You sat up and looked for the Director which was nowhere to be found and finding yourself covered with a jacket.

“If you’re looking for the Director then he actually went out a couple of hours ago, he forgot it’s their anniversary with their partner.” Roger chuckled and you shook your head because it is really something that sounds like the Director.

“Say, ________. Are you free for the night? My creative director won’t be coming in as well and I would really love to get a second opinion especially from someone heavily involved in the movie.” Seeing this as an opportunity to get to know Roger, you agreed. It is also a chance for you to see what you have missed out on when you got the chance to sleep which you have been lacking for the past few days.

Roger lead you back to the booth wherein you get to see the movie coming to life alongside some pieces he already made to accompany some specific scenes.

“I’m sorry for ending up falling asleep, getting to rest has been a task I need to catch up on.” You profusely apologized and Roger just smiled kindly.

“S'alright, the Director told me to let you sleep since the last few days of filming were quite hectic.” You couldn’t agree more, knowing that the last few days were tiring, emotional, and just wanting to finish the entire project which got everyone a little bit on edge. He went inside the studio and talked to you through the mic installed there.

“Can you hear me, love?” Roger’s voice boomed and you gave a thumbs up. “Splendid!”

The studio was where Roger was meant to be in. He moved gracefully in between speakers, stepped over wires languidly, handling instruments with utmost care and played it with precision. He is widely known as the drummer but he was obviously more than being behind the percussions. Roger is multitalented which he displays effortlessly inside the studio, playing the drums, the guitar, and singing a few lines to accompany the melody.

“You sound wonderful and sing beautifully, Roger!” You exclaimed with awe and he animates a very exaggerated bow which you laughed at. “Such a shame I’ve only heard you singing and playing the drums at the same time which pales the talent you have for singing.”

“Thank you, love. And call me Rog, please. Roger makes me sound way too old.” Rog chuckles and you smiled at him. Old? His barely grey locks looked amazing on him, his hair a little ruffled but it suits him just fine.

“Would you want to have a delivery for dinner? I am nearing starvation.” He teased with a pout, making you laugh. The atmosphere between you two completely light and friendly which is something you never expected. Truth be told, you expected him to be someone that the media portrayed him to be. According to media, Rog is the notorious Rockstar, always rambunctious in parties together with Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of the band, wild on the sheets, drummer with a temper, and just altogether a hot mess, literally and figuratively.

“Delivery? We can just get dinner in a restaurant. I know a place by the Bay—”

“Slow down, love. You want to dine me already?” Roger smirked and you smirked back in return. “You’re just shy I’m asking you first, Rog.”

Rog laughed wholeheartedly. He cannot believe you’re matching his game when other girls would just blush the living daylights out.

“You’re a delight, _________. As much as I would love to accept your offer for dinner, I need to practice and get the right tune for your movie.” He said apologetically and gestured at the studio. “That’s alright, we can just get Chinese takeout for now.” You said, instantly craving and already started ordering before Roger protested.

“You didn’t even ask if I like Chinese, love.”

“You don’t have a choice. What do you like?”“Fried rice, spring rolls and shrimp dumplings, please.”

You spent the rest of the night listening to Roger playing around the instruments and responding to his questions which is a better tune or melody, the chords that sounds better, suggesting whether to focus on one instrument over the other, this or that and it goes on until it is almost midnight and you notice other offices in the entire studio compound closing already.

“Rog, it’s getting really late so I think we should start packing up.” You reminded him through the microphone and he looks up at you from the booth.

“What, that late already?” You started packing up, ensuring you won’t forget anything in the studio. Your chauffeur is also out of commission with him taking a leave for a month which means you only drive by yourself or walk to your apartment which is just a few blocks away.

Roger closed the lights and all the machines inside the booth and he grabbed his jacket from the couch that you were sleeping on this afternoon. The same jacket you woke up to.

“Oh! I didn’t realize that was yours, thank you for letting me use it.” You said and he rolled his eyes dramatically.

“I was forced to do so! Imagine a beautiful lady sleeping on the couch, she might get cold.”

You laughed, never imagining you will get a compliment from the Roger Taylor himself. A few weeks ago, you learned that you were going to meet your crush and music idol and even prepared for the day to come and when the day finally did, you were floored with how much you wanted to know him more as a person and eventually become friends.

“How are you going home, Rog?” You asked while the both of you cleaned the place up and throwing your Chinese takeout boxes and drinks.

“Oh! I brought my car with me, I got stuck in traffic, remember?” Roger said, “And you?”

“I’m just going to walk back to my place since it’s near.”

Roger whipped his head back to you so fast you can only laugh with the possible whiplash he would’ve gotten. “Are you dead serious? I’ll give you a lift!”

“I’m good, my place might even be out of the way for you and I wouldn’t want to impose.” You replied and he sighed.

“Alright, if you say so. Here, type your number on my phone so I can call you if you get to your flat safe.” Roger said and you were relieved that he didn’t even put up a fight to bring you home. Walking alone at night is relaxing but you have to admit, you did not expect to stay out this late in the studio and did not bring your car, besides, there’s a first time for everything. You typed in your number on Roger’s phone and saved it as “creative director 🤪”.

“What did you save your name as?” Roger inquired and you smirked. “Creative director with a wacky emoji for a little attitude.”

The both of you laughed as you slowly walked out of the studio and headed for the parking lot, wanting to see Roger off first before you go on your way. The mood was quite relaxing, the quiet comforted you both after hours spent inside the studio with blaring melodies of sorts, the gentle spring breeze giving a breath of fresh air as winter slowly fades, and a new found friend in each other’s company.

“Since I got your number already, let me give you a lift home.” Roger smirked which bewildered you. Here you thought he would’ve let you walk alone but the point of you typing your number was simply to have it.

“That’s not playing fair, Rog. I’m really fine to walk by myself.” You said and he crossed his arms, matching the smug look on his face.

“Like you said awhile ago and I quote, “You don’t have a choice.” Get in the car, love.”

You sighed. This might be the first time you’re walking alone late at night but you are admittedly scared as well but of course, you will not tell that. After a few seconds, you abide and get in the car with Roger laughing and saying to himself, “Gotcha, gotcha.”

The interior of Roger’s car was breathtakingly beautiful, not to mention it is already beautiful on the exterior. It is also well known that Roger loves his cars especially sport cars with beautiful, personalized interiors.

“Your car is beautiful, Rog. Thank you for giving me a ride despite me wanting to walk home.” You teased but still thankful nonetheless.

“Not another word about that, ______, it’s the least I can do for you staying out so late with me. Give me your address?”

You directed him to your apartment a few blocks away and he complimented what a wonderful place you got and a smart decision to stay near the studio to lessen the hassle.

“Yeah, I hate LA traffic and getting stuck in it is not a good experience. I was once late for almost an hour for a shoot! Funny thing is we were all late due to the traffic anyway.” You quipped and he laughed. That was one of the deciding factors for you to move closer to the studio and be a little nearer to the city lights. “Where do you live, Rog?”

“I have a mini house located by the beach, actually. Pretty great view at night but sometimes gets a little loud. It’s where I stay when I’m in the city.” Roger explained yearnfully, “Love seeing the sun rise and set, something London barely has.”

“What do you have?”

“Fog, fish and chips, pubs, and more fog.” He jokes and you laughed. Living in Los Angeles indeed have its perks such as the sunshine and occasional beach trips but it is something you cannot envision for the long run. It’s a beautiful city, no doubt, but the idea of eventually retiring and living somewhere a little more quiet is very much enticing to you.

“Well, I would trade to that for even just a day here. When summer comes in LA, it is very humid!” You complained and he laughed, shaking his head. While the both of you were talking, you just started to notice Roger’s Chinese takeout boxes were in the compartment near the gear stick.

“Rog, you didn’t get to finish your dinner?” You asked and surprised to see it was barely touched with only one dumpling and spring roll missing. “You must be starving!”

“Now that you mention it,” Roger said, he laughed and felt his stomach grumble, “I am famished.”

“You can go up to my place if you like, I can heat up your food for you and you can eat there. It’s the least I can do for you since you drove me home.”

“My, my, asking me out for a dinner date and then asking me to come over your place? I have to say, I am impressed. I haven’t met anyone like that before you, love.” Roger teased and you slapped his arm while laughing. “Keep your hands to yourself, love! I’m trying to make it home without crashing.”

The both of you still laughing as he pulled to the porch of your apartment. He is in awe as he sees the white expanse of the bungalow and the foyer space you have.

“Wow. You call this an apartment?” Roger said and you laughed since this was an expected response which always happened.

“When I bought the place, it was listed as is.” You replied and he shook his head and bewilderment. You were amused because he is acting like this is the most beautiful house he ever laid eyes on but from the both of you, it’s him that has already traveled the world and have been in lavish mansions.

“Your place is beautiful, _________.”

“You haven’t seen the river side and the view from the pool.” You joked and he laughed in awe. You had to bring down the window to acknowledge your guard gate and he waved at you after opening the gates.

The front façade of your house mainly consisted of steps leading to the house itself, beautified with bushes and flourishing wildflowers, and a staircase leading to the terrace facing the street. Once Roger parked his car outside the garage, you led him inside and he gets astounded one more.

“It’s bigger on the inside!” Roger remarked while looking around and you asked for his Chinese takeout box which you heat up for him as he goes on to observe more of the interior of your place.

“Rog, maybe you should go outside and wait for me there. It is lovely to eat out and the view is beautiful.” You recommend which he followed, walking outside through the doors you pointed out to him.

Placing his leftovers on a plate, you heat it up on the microwave while you scavenge for a snack so you can join Roger on your garden overlooking the pool and the river. You only hope you were there to witness his reaction to seeing the view but you knew that the man was starving and you could use some alone time as well.

You placed everything on a tray, got some water and headed outside wherein you saw Roger lounging by the pool, his shoes off and is set aside under the dining table nearby, his feet wading on the shallow part of the pool.

“If only I had known your flat would be this beautiful,” Roger said and emphasized on the word ‘flat’, “Plus getting served Chinese food from a beautiful lady? I would’ve looked for more ways to know you, _______.”

-----

taglist !

@onceuponadetectivedemigod @benhardyasrogertaylor @love-you-for-your-mind @laurajw14 @littlebitofheaven57 @prettylittlegoldfish @kiainspace @but-legendsneverdie @jennyggggrrr

#queen #roger taylor #rog #issa fic ??#masterlist #rog fic #queen--sherlock #oof what am i dOING #prolly shit but it's honest work #intimate nights

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sunshinexlollipops · 5 years

Note

FOR THE LOVE OF MANGOS PLZ. A/O ARTHUR HEADCANONS (both with the reader and Arthur being A/O plz! Thx!!!)

anon. I have heard your prayers. your answers are coming. (like Arthur. and much of this community over abo Arthur, apparently lol.)

BONUS: alongside doing alpha and omega for Arthur, I did high and low honor as well. It would definitely affect how Arthur acts in the ABO verse. Also made gender neutral, alongside you being alpha or omega yourself. ;)

——————

A L P H A A R T H U R

Low Honor

when you first arrive in the gang, Arthur allows his eyes to wander to you. he leered alongside the others when you were new, and he didn’t make any attempt at hiding his interest.

soon, the others become competition, and you best believe Arthur is going to finesse himself an alpha/omega like you. you are his prize.

he boasts about himself, takes the lead on missions, steals the prettiest and best stuff for you, hunts your favorite game, puffs his chest, tries to act badass and suave. he pretty much postures himself at you, acting like a stereotypical alpha trying to impress their intended mate.

and normally, you hate pompous alphas like this, but damn if it doesn’t work.

he’s possessive asf. constantly baring his teeth at anyone who so much as looks your way with any interest in their gaze.

you’re HIS alpha/omega, and he makes sure to let everyone know.

there’s also a huge thing about scent: you have to ALWAYS smell like you’re his. whether he marks you, your clothes— or even puts you in his own— strangers don’t even have a problem with knowing that there is an alpha to answer to if they try anything.

if someone even so much as makes a comment or joke, or if a stranger says something in passing, best believe you have an enraged Arthur Morgan at the ready. he will take people down, guns or not.

marking is also done with hickeys. he loves how flustered they make you, and he takes damn pleasure in seeing the jealousy in the others’ eyes for getting to put them all over your neck. it’ll make it that much sweeter for his mating bite.

he hints about your upcoming heat/rut, or even about his own, and there’s no doubt that he wants to be there for the main event.

and when it does happen, Arthur is there before you’re even really into it. you can even be in the middle of camp, he won’t care— he’ll grab ahold of you, throw you over his shoulder, and take you where he deems fit to weather it out.

(maybe his tent in camp, or an abandoned shack he scoped out nearby, it all depends. because even if someone tries to bother you both, they’re getting shot.)

the alpha is rough and quick, he gives it to you like you need. there’s never a dull or slow moment when you’re in bed with Arthur.

overstimulation KING. you think your climax is the end of it? WRONG. he will work you through every second. even when he’s got a knot deep in you. the man will stop when either you or him drop. and good luck, he’s got stamina core for daysssss

also. huge fan of eating you raw. he loves getting your slick in his beard, till he looks wet with it. he will literally make you drip from his tongue alone. you’re better than a shot of whiskey any day.

when you do pass out eventually, Arthur takes those moments to stand outside for a quick smoke break. shirtless. with nail marks from you all over his chest and back. he likes the way Micah gets pissed, because he was never alpha enough for anything like this. (a cig never tasted so good, either.)

he’ll sketch you as you are, naked, and marked up by him. he also does close ups of his bites, those are his faves.

it’s when you’re deepest in heat that he gives you his mating bite. you knew it was coming, he made it obvious, but it doesn’t stop the gasp that escapes you when he does it.

he places it where it’ll be obvious no matter what you do, and he likes it like that

he’ll mark your neck up like nothing else, and he’s very proud of the way you looked wrecked afterward

you don’t walk right for at least a week and a half afterward, something that Arthur puffs his chest about. he always smirks at the comments the others make at your stiff gate. it makes watching you that much more pleasurable.

likes you loud. he wants no one to doubt when he takes you. he wants you screaming so they can all hear just how good he’s making you feel. you’re embarrassed most of the time, but shame is nothing he could ever feel when it comes to something like that.

pretty much every time a job goes well or there’s a celebration, it ends with him knotting you. ;)

when stuff goes bad, there’s still knotting, but expect him to get you to the point where your body aches as much as it sings under him.

if you get pregnant, expect Arthur to be extremely pleased with himself. he bred you well, and he can’t wait to see how you’ll look.

he’s more possessive and wanting of you when you’re expecting— you always have him stiff and hungered when he sees you as you are, knowing he did that to you

when the kids (or pups) are born, he’ll try and get you knocked right back up

High Honor

it starts with a crush, and dear lord was Arthur pining when you first arrived.

he hears the others gushing about you, and when the others also speak of their own interest, Arthur stays quiet and feels hopeless— how could you end up with an alpha like him with so many better people lining up?

he vents in his journal, writing poems and fantasies he has where he gets to be your alpha. he is very longing, and sometimes you catch him staring at the fire or when you happen to feels his eyes on you. (he can’t be subtle, even though he thinks he is.)

he draws you, ofc. with flowers in your hair, when you laugh. his favorite moments are when you’re smiling, because he likes to imagine that he’s the sole reason it’s stretching your lips.

this man practically breaks his own heart over you, and he M O P E S

but, much to his surprise, the girls and other encourage him, and he FINALLY gathers the courage to tell you about the god damn cavity you’ve made with how sweet he is on you and you A C C E P T?

he courts you, right and proper like an alpha should. he gets you flowers, sweets, nice clothes or other trinkets he thinks you’d like— all acquired fairly. he also takes you on dates, from the theater in Saint Denis to quiet rides through the Heartlands with you by his side.

he endures so much teasing, especially from Micah and John, but he will take it. he doesn’t care if he’s gone “soft,” you’re too good for him to be anything but. Micah can still stfu though.

he doesn’t ask you to help with him during his rut, and he’s shy to offer his... uh.... assistance.... with your heat/rut. not because he doesn’t want to, but because he doesn’t want to pressure you! he doesn’t want you to think he’s only here for that, or that he would be disappointed if you declined! this dumbass would gladly go gray if you waited that long.

(which you never would, obviously. but damn if that isn’t sweet asf.)

when it does come around, he is so sweet. he found this really nice place— this precious cabin— and he’s been preparing it for months while he waited for this moment.

he’s so gentle with you, and not impatient at all. he preps you, makes sure you’re always comfortable. he only intends for you to feel pleasure, not pain, and trust me— you’re gonna enjoy yourself.

he peppers you with kisses, constantly asking if you’re okay or if there’s something else he can do. he’ll follow your requests, and give you what you need as you want it.

when you climax, Arthur is sweet to you, he praises you, holds you close as it happens. he doesn’t push you, and let’s you float right back to him whenever you’re ready.

during the moments in between the heights of your heat, he cleans you up, and feeds you peaches by his fingers as you lean against his chest.

he’ll hum songs for you, because of course he doesn’t know the words. but the tunes are pretty, just like you.

if you ask kindly enough, he’ll even read from his journal. but don’t worry, he’s always been a sucker for big doe eyes, and yours do him the worst.

he shows you the sketches he’s made too, especially when he was thinking you’d never give him the honor of being your alpha. they’re too precious.

the heat/rut will pass without a mating bite, because it needs to be done RIGHT.

he plans it out, it’s pretty much Hallmark. he buys your favorite food, takes you to your favorite place. he makes it special by giving you the same flowers that made his first bouquet that he gave you, and made sure to ask you under the stars like you wanted.

he is careful about it, and he feels awful that it has to hurt, but he makes sure to kiss it afterward, and he gives you a tonic to make it stop aching.

he places it lower on your neck, where it can be easily covered if you wanted

(but you’d never— because the way Arthur looks so flustered when you walk around with unbuttoned collars is WORTH IT)

he is such a proud alpha, and he walks around camp with his head held high and not even Micah can bring him down

he constantly gets you things, or does stuff with you. he never lets a moment pass where you don’t feel loved or appreciated by him

if you get pregnant, Arthur will be emotional. tears, but happy ones, will be shed. he can’t believe he got so lucky to mate an alpha/omega like you, and that you’re giving him a family again.

after you break the news, Arthur will practically worship you. that, and he will be protective like nobody’s business over anything and everything— someone threatens you? someone says your fat? expect low honor Arthur levels of mayhem.

when your kid finally get into the world, he can’t help but be the proudest papa Arthur. he is a bear to these kids, and he dotes on them endlessly. but he also makes time for you, and always tells you how grateful he is.

he doesn’t push for more kids, but you can tell he’s a big family man, and you can’t help but try and put a smile on his face for as much as he finally puts one on yours like he wanted to from the start

O M E G A A R T H U R

Low Honor

when you arrive— holy shit. he might as well be in heat with how wet you get him. the others thirst over you too, and oh, it makes Arthur j e a l o u s.

NEEDY. when he notices you, you spark an itch he can’t scratch. he is constantly biding for your attention, and he’ll do whatever he can to get it.

he touches himself to the thought of you, and he gets off many a time by the fantasy of you getting him and claiming him. never gets old. especially when you catch him moaning. totally not on purpose.

Arthur does all he can to seem like the omega you desire, and he may or may not have done things like play around with your clothes to get you smelling like him.

when his heat comes up, he plays up how bad they are and that he needs someone. he definitely makes sure to do this around you. for no reason at all, of course.

you offer, and ohmygod what a surprise Arthur accepts that shit like VISA

Arthur preps like nobody’s business. he tries to make himself look nice, tries to figure out things you like. he aims to have you claiming him by the end of this.

when he feels his heat ramp up, he’s slick for you, and let’s you know.

he takes control, and rides you hard. has has you begging for him, he takes you so deep. he’s practically hoarse himself, and the whole camp knows just how you feel inside of him now.

(thanks Arthur)

he plays on your instincts, and he manages to get you to bite him on the neck. your claim is the first thing he’s wanted since a good fuck when his first heat hit, and damn if he didn’t get both from you.

if you knot Arthur, it practically makes him D R O O L

Arthur has no shame about the bite. he shows it off, let’s everyone know that he got claimed. he hasn’t been this much of a show since he presented.

he always tells you how slick you get him, and he will always try and pull a quickie whenever he can manage.

he tries to spur jealousy from you whenever he can, but don’t worry, he’s just as possessive over you

High Honor

holy shit. you. you are something else, and damn if Arthur doesn’t feel like a sad pathetic omega for lusting after you as he is.

he’s never craved someone like you before, and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. he hasn’t even exactly felt the desire to be claimed, but oh, you make him feel a lotta things.

he doesn’t try to mention his heats— he doesn’t want you to think you owe him help or that he’s dreamt about you making him feel good, but when you finally ask about it it just kinda... happens?

when you offer helping him, he about loses his mind. you? during his heat? what did he do to deserve that?

he gets so nervous, thinking he’ll embarrass himself, or that you’ll reject him for whatever reason. he thinks he’s hideous and doesn’t understand what you see back in him, but he just tries to focus on making it good for you.

you notice his nerves, and you assure him it’s fine. pretty much all of his heat, you’re praising him, and you get to see just how it gets to the omega. apparently, he really likes it when you tell him how good he is.

Arthur feels great, and he responds so well. you light him on fire, and damn, a heat never felt this good. you make it bearable. enjoyable. that isn’t an easy feat.

when Arthur climaxes, he clenches around you, both with his arms and his body— and he cries out.

you end up biting him out of reflex, and oh god— it makes Arthur caterwaul because he didn’t know how much he needed this

you apologize, saying you should’ve known and done better, but Arthur doesn’t care. he loves it. and he loves you.

Arthur is proud of your bite, and he can’t believe he’s your mate. he accepts the role with grace, and enjoys the way it gets you flustered.

he oftens tells you how much he loves you, and how he wouldn’t be mated to anyone else.

there you go anon! hope you enjoyed. ;)

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planetkookie · 5 years

Text

Midnight

Summary- Midnight. It was Logan’s favorite time of day. It was quiet and peaceful, letting him think without interruption. Well, it was usually quiet and peaceful.

Little does he know that tonight will be quite a bit different.

Warnings- None

Words- 1488

Notes- Again tagging @literally-logicality-trash as they told me to tag them when I post a fic. So here. This wasn’t really based on anything, just a cute idea I had in my head. Hope you all enjoy!

Link to ao3- https://archiveofourown.org/works/17286290

Midnight. It was Logan’s favorite time of day. It was quiet and peaceful, letting him think without interruption. Well, it was usually quiet and peaceful.

Tonight was just like any other night. Logan was sitting on the roof, reading his book while occasionally looking up to admire the sky. This was usually how it went, though sometimes he was joined by a sleep-deprived Virgil who also admired the stars as much as he did. The logical side was fascinated by the galaxy above him. Not only was it intellectually pleasing to learn about it, but it was absolutely beautiful as well. And with him living in the mindscape, the way it looked was almost never the same. The sides could thank Roman for that.

His thought process was interrupted when he heard a sound coming from inside the house. It sounded like something or someone had fallen down, and he decided he would investigate. He made his way carefully down the roof and into his bedroom window, going down the stairs to the main floor.

At the bottom of the steps, Logan looked around. Nothing seemed to be amiss, the only irregular thing was the sound of soft music drifting throughout the house. Right before Logan could shrug it off and make his way back up the stairs, he heard a singing voice accompany the music.

The voice was soft and sweet, and Logan knew it was too quiet, too smooth to be Roman’s. The music and the person singing along had piqued his interest, and so he quietly made his way to the source of the music; the living room.

Peeking around the corner Logan was surprised to see Patton swaying there by himself in his pajamas. He looked so serene and content, it was mesmerizing. Logan couldn’t tear his eyes away. Patton spun around the room slowly, singing along to the music as loud as he dared, his glasses almost slipping off of the bridge of his nose. Logan thought he had never looked more beautiful.

In a turn of events, Logan stumbled forward from his hiding spot and fell in front of the living room entrance, splayed out on the ground for Patton to see. He turned his head in embarrassment as Patton turned to look at him in surprise. He heard the music shut off and footsteps walk softly towards him.

“Logan, I didn’t know you were up.” His voice was calm, no sign of irritation present.

Logan curled into himself a little bit more. “I apologize for my interruption Patton. It was not my intention. I am usually up this time of night and I was coming down because I heard a noise, and when I heard the music it intrigued me. Do forgive me for my intrusion.”

He was surprised when he heard Patton laugh, a bright, pure sound of joy. “Lo, I would never be mad at you for something like this. You are quite silly. The noise you heard was probably me accidentally knocking the book on the counter off of the counter. I’m pretty clumsy sometimes..”

Logan turned to face his friend, not acknowledging the burning of his cheeks. “Oh. Well, I am glad I wasn’t a bother.”

Patton crouched down so he was somewhat eye level with Logan. He was smiling at him so sweetly that Logan just melted under Patton’s gaze. “You’re never a bother. Never to me. Now, since you’re down here, why not join me?”

Logan’s eyes widened as he sat up. “Join you? You wish to accommodate me into your night that you were clearly spending alone?”

Patton chuckled quietly. “Yes Logan, that is exactly what I’m asking. And they say you’re the smart one.”

Logan averted his eyes and grumbled. “Patton, you understand I am not good with human interaction. Roman likes to explain this to me every day.” He was hushed by Patton’s finger on his lips. “It doesn’t matter what the others think of you right now.” All he could do was nod dumbly.

If this is where someone had told Logan he’d be at one in the morning, he’d have laughed in your face and said that that was illogical. But here he was with Patton, his friend pulling him up and into the living room where the slow music was started again. He had never been happier.

Patton put Logan’s arms around his own waist before wrapping his own arms around Logan’s neck, starting to sway slowly. As Logan got into the music, he started moving around the living room, taking Patton with him. The moral side laughed as they spun around, smiling so wide that it looked like his face might break if he smiled any bigger. Logan couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

Logan twirled Patton around as the music faded into the night. All he could see was the man in his arms staring up at Logan with the most open look in his eyes. As they went, Logan felt his body lighten, as if he was flying. He gazed at Patton, his expression calm.

They were like that for a few songs, twirling each other and swaying to the tune. At the climax of one of the songs, Logan placed his hand on the small of Patton’s back and dipped him low to the ground, maintaining eye contact with the moral side. At that moment he realized that Patton had the most beautiful shade of blue eyes that he had ever seen. As they stared at each other, Logan opened his mouth and in one sentence, opened up more than he ever had to anyone else.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

He realized the words that had come out of his mouth and lifted Patton back up, releasing him so he could cover his mouth. Patton looked bewildered, though he wasn’t upset. He took the small step he needed to towards Logan and placed his hand on the logical side’s shoulder, looking him in the eye. “Logan, I love you too.”

The gears in his head stopped turning as he paused. “You- you do?”

To that Patton just gave a small smile, put his hand on the small of Logan’s back, dipped him, and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. It didn’t last long, but as soon as it ended, Logan wrapped his arms around Patton’s neck and pulled him back in.

They pulled away, Logan a blushing mess, and Patton giggling despite the situation. “Thank you for dancing with me tonight, Logan. I really appreciate it.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled awkwardly. “Of course, Patton. I would be content with doing so again whenever it pleases you.”

“Logan?” The man in question glanced over at Patton, fidgeting with his hands. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

It took Logan a moment to register what Patton had asked him. “You wish for us to be significant others? And go on romantic outings? Patton, are you sure?”

At that, Patton laughed wholeheartedly. “I don’t think you know how silly you can be sometimes, for the embodiment of Logic.” At Logan’s look of betrayal, he backtracked. “Don’t worry, it isn’t a bad thing. To answer your questions, yes, yes, and yes.”

As Logan opened his mouth to come back with another counter-argument, Patton put up a hand to stop him. “Lo, I really don’t care about the consequences. Yes, I know you’re going to take a little time to get good at this. You aren’t me or Roman. Yes, it is a risk, but one I am willing to take. And yes, I know that you probably aren’t the most affectionate person in the world. I can live with that. Now, let me repeat the question. Will you be my boyfriend?”

Logan sighed. “You are so stubborn. But yes,” he took a step towards Patton, bringing up a hand to brush some hair out of the smaller side’s face. “I would be delighted to be your significant other.”

Patton beamed up at Logan, practically shaking with happiness. It was all Logan could do to hold himself back from wrapping his friend (his boyfriend, he reminded himself) into his arms. Fortunately enough for him, Patton didn’t hold back as he wrapped his arms around Logan’s shoulders, pulling him down for another kiss.

They heard a scoff from the side and they both pulled back, turning to see Virgil standing there in a shirt that looked suspiciously like one Logan had seen on Roman before. “Took you two long enough to get together, jeez. Get a room.”

"You should tell yourself and Roman that," Logan muttered to himself, and Patton chuckled at his comment.

"Now, now, Logan. We shouldn't bother Virgil any more." He smiled at the taller side mischievously. "Clearly he needs his space.

All Logan could do is nod as Patton grabbed his tie and lead him up the stairs.

#logicality #thomas sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders (mentioned)#virgil sanders #implied prinxiety #slow dancing #fluff #so much fluff it will give you cavities #first kiss #the mindscape #flustered!Logan #it is literally my thing sorry #another fic will come soon #im not done with it yet #sanders sides

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stedes-black-bonnet · 5 years

Text

My Baby Does Me: Chapter 10

POV: John Deacon x reader

Notes: ongoing fic. If you want on the tag list let me know. IF people have other requests, kindly send them my way; though be patient, as My Baby Does Me is my main priority, but I’d also love to cater to your desires as well.

Warnings: Pure smut.

Abstract: Reader and Deacy come to an understanding.

“All over our sheets, though?” Jim rubbed his mustache lost in torrid thoughts of his own. Past memories, so fresh and quick to rise for him, played through his mind.

“Darling, I’ll happily buy you new sheets.” Freddie laced his fingers through Jim’s.

They were both thinking of his closet full of pants.

“Fuck the sheets; you make me happy, Freddie Mercury.”

“I always will.” Freddie stole a quick kiss from Jim and pulled him through the doorway.

Jim turned back and smiled at you before blowing a kiss in your direction. He turned, put an arm around his husband, and closed the door on you and John Deacon.

Everything was orange-heat, red-silence. Steam-like breaths.

You stood, staring at Deacy.

Deacy stood, staring at you.

Breathing as one, you waited for the moment to strike, like hot iron, when you could no longer delay the inevitable. Your entire body tingled with fire, more alive now than it ever had been. It was akin to the joy you felt playing music at your piano: unbridled, immersive, simple and sweet. You knew he was engulfed as well in his own desires for you and in his desires to delay the moment of touch as long as possible. This, like everything else in his life, was a game. And all games could be won.

Deacy’s eyes traced over your body. Attempting to lure you into breaking first. His eyelashes brushed up and down with his silent sighs, each movement a symphony to longing. His eyes painted his unspoken inclinations on your frame, curious what sounds he could stir from you with his hands, his lips, his tongue, his penis. He’d have to try them all, he reasoned. He almost broke himself, then. Allowing himself to imagine the feeling of entering you. You saw his fist clench, tighten and pulse, before relaxing once more at his side. No, he contemplated. He could wait.

He did have very skilled hands, you thought. Capable of keeping time, landing complex rhythms with ease and mastery only the marriage of talent and practice can bring. Any single way he decided to enter you, could devastate you, you reasoned. You had felt his prodigious cock earlier in the evening through his bright red jeans. Your breath caught for a second as you imagined him parting the lips of your vagina. Maybe with his hands. Maybe with the rushing of his dick. You stopped yourself. These thoughts would not help you win this test of wills.

You decided his eyes would be safer. Those sometimes-green sometimes-gray eyes. Clever eyes. Cavalier eyes. The forest at night sang from his eyes. Oh, and how he’d make you sing, you thought. He could play you like a flute, and my how you’d gladly sing for him.

This also wasn’t helping. You wanted his hands on you, dancing up your back and over your breasts, cradling your face as you kissed. You bit your lip in silent frustration. You weren’t sure how much more of this alluring, exciting, and vexing game you could take; this was a paradox, too. How could something so tantalizing and salacious be so pleasantly annoying at the same time?

Deacy couldn’t stop looking at your lips. The second you bit your lip, he shivered. He wanted to be the one biting your luscious lips. Why on earth wasn’t he yet? He licked his lips.

You blushed crimson-hot at this simple act of his.

“I saw that.” His voice was deeper than usual and unabashedly competitive.

It was without exception the sexiest three words you had ever heard.

“Oh? What did you see, John Deacon?” You still had a couple cards to play.

His voice, still deep, was breathless. “I saw,” he panted, “you blush.”

Your voice was a trap. “Why on earth would I do that?” You asked, staring him down.

“Because you cannot help yourself.” It wasn’t a question. He moved, then, closing the distance between you two. Putting his hands on your waist, he pulled you to him, racing his hands up your back. The kiss wasn’t shy; it was certain.

You put your hands on his face, and responded to his kiss with ecstatic force. Each kiss was a promise, something chaste sealed in wet concupiscence. Every word he had said that night, every testimony to his early devotion to you, rang true with each shifting sway of his lips on yours. He opened his mouth slowly, running a hand over your breasts. He was humming slightly, some tune you couldn’t distinguish, some music that was all his own. Maybe it belonged to you, too.

You slipped your tongue into his mouth, finding your rhythms quite naturally. You moved your hands to his hair. If hair could dance, his was; it swayed in agreement to your touch.

“Y/N,” Deacon moaned lightly.

You pulled your lips from his, “Johnny?” You said without thinking.

You felt him pause, and then his lips spread into a smile as he kissed you with renewed meaning. “We shouldn’t,” he said, “be doing this on the first date.”

“Technically, we haven’t even had a first date,” you reminded him between kisses.

His hands slid down your body as he pulled away from you, taking your hand, leading you to the bed.

Deacon sat, looking up at you, waiting.

Wanting him, you decided to play your last card.

In one fluid movement, you straddled him.

He froze, only slightly surprised at your darning move.

It was his turn to blush.

He placed his hands on your knees, still looking up at you. Slowly, he started moving his hands up your thighs.

You arched your back, moaning softly. This was ridiculous, feeling so elated, such inscrutable longing over such an innocent touch. Well, innocent compared to other deeper touches, you thought. This desire was something new for you: instant and frightening. You wanted him in ways you couldn’t understand yet. You had never wanted someone so badly, and it scared you. What if he was the one? And this was the night you met? The night that would change the entire course of your life? This was also ridiculous; you could never know that now, not this early, not yet...

His hands paused high on your thighs, his thumbs poised over your clitoris, but not touching it. He was teasing you, now. Maybe for making him blush, you questioned?

You swallowed with difficulty. You were inescapably wet. Gazing at his hands, you breathed deeply, making your chest rise.

Deacon waited, still as a statue. Your attempts at seduction, working quite well, were not enough to break him yet. He wanted more than anything to touch you further, to, with motion and circles, and rhythms, bring you to climax with deft precision. He wanted to know what you tasted like.

His penis was stiffening steadily beneath you. You could tease him, perhaps? Quite literally force his hand?

As if sensing what you were thinking, he commanded, very softly, “No, don’t move yet.” He closed his eyes and breathed, centering himself.

You had never had quite an opponent as this before. His self-control was steadfast, upright, and deliberate. He opened his eyes, looking at the bow-tie at your waist. You were wearing your green wrap dress, you recalled.

Shit, you thought, he had you now.

“This unties your dress?” He asked, voice husky.

“Yes,” you admitted.

“Just this one, simple knot?”

“Just the one.”

He smiled at you, biting his lip.

That’s when he didn’t move his hands. No, that would have been too easy.

John Deacon bent his head to your waist, and bit the knot. Pulling with his teeth and using his tongue, he untied the knot. Your dress started slipping from your shoulders, seductively. He yanked once more quickly upwards, and returned with the rope in his mouth. Smiling, as impressed with himself as you were, he let it drop from his lips. He looked at your breasts, most coherent thoughts erased from his mind.

Your bra was a lacy periwinkle one you had begrudgingly let Lydia pick out for you; now, however, you were thankful for her input. Deacon exhaled, and you felt him leaning in, probably to lick up your chest and neck again like he had in the pantry.

You let him get within a hair’s width of his target before saying, “Not yet.”

He stopped, per your request. He pulled back, looking into your eyes. He tried leaning into your lips. This, you decided to allow.

His hands were still poised high on your thighs, hovering above your clitoris. You kissed very lightly, like you were memorizing every line, every facet of each other’s lips.

“Don’t move your hands,” You said, kissing with slightly more force now.

“I thought you wanted me to move my hands?” Deacon questioned with a sigh alight with desire.

“Oh, I do. But where’s the fun in getting everything you want?”

He laughed lightly, it was a laugh with the tinges of a moan, with the throws of understanding. This game wasn’t dangerous because you both knew the rules without even having to explain them to each other. It was as if this was a dance you had been dancing together your entire lives. Perhaps he knew then, what you were, what you could be to each other.

He kissed you more deeply, moaning into your mouth.

You really couldn’t take much more of this foreplay. A resolution needed to be reached.

“Maybe now, though?” You questioned, and in your question, you had his hands in mind.

“No,” Deacon said, “I don’t think so.” He bent down, then. His tongue touched the crux of your bra. He took in your scent, floral and sweet, just like before. As he licked up your chest, up your neck, he rocked his body into yours. In your mind, you flashed to what it would be like to be naked together, rocking with your rhythms together, bringing each other to a separate kind of resolution. Fulfilling each other completely. But that wasn’t now, that was some future you, in some other place and time.

This was now: tongue at your chin, he skipped up to your lips, kissing you deeply while simultaneously, moving his thumbs for the first time. The sensation, even over your tights, was electric. He was moving his thumbs in intersecting circles, gazing into your eyes.

The tension was building in your body. You felt your muscles begin tightening in that glorious, slow climb to whatever inevitable orgasm was to come. You slipped your hands to the waistband of your tights, and slid them down your ass, down your thighs, to your knees. Deacon paused, only momentarily, to make sure you didn’t fall from his lap while maneuvering, quite impressively, to remove your tights while remaining straddled along him. He placed his hands, warm from friction, back on your bare thighs. He kissed your neck. Taking his dominant hand, he resumed those circles on your clit, before flipping his hand over, keeping his thumb in the game, and using his index finger to coax you further. His middle finger joined the dance, and he wrapped his other hand around your waist. Deacon, breathing into your lips, his lips close enough to kiss, but hovering without, flicked his eyes on to yours.

You were breathing faster and faster, your hips slowly responding to the rhythms of his fingers. Every muscle was tightening, screaming, demanding sweet release.

“We are not leaving this room,” he whispered into your mouth, “Until you cum for me.” It was a simple demand, you thought. An easy demand. A nice demand.

Staring into his eyes, you went to that place in your mind. Every muscle was ready, so it was time for the mind, now. Every thought was of him, his hands, his movement. The look in his eyes of complete satisfaction from your enjoyment. Him kissing you in the pantry, on the bed, the fire of your first touch. The singing of your body for him. And he was moving with such steady, accomplished rhythms, such care to detail, you couldn’t wait any longer to fulfill his demand.

Your orgasm cascaded through your body. You moved your hands to his shoulders and clenched them as every muscle tensed in one perfect unison of movement. Sweat glistened on your chest; he pinched your clit, still throbbing from your orgasm. He tightened the pressure skillfully, making your orgasm lengthen, also proud of his achievement. Sweetly kissing your lips, your neck, he kept his pressure steady until you felt your throbbing stop. Your breath began to slow as your muscles started to relax into normalcy. You leaned into him completely at ease in fantastic bliss. He laid back, as you leaned into him.

Laying on each other, on the bed, your breathing became united.

You could still feel his erection between your legs.

Deacon’s arms were spread out on either side on him, eyes closed in a quiet, serene joy all his own.

You moved your hand to creep at the waistband of his jeans.

He delicately stopped your progression with his hand.

“Reciprocity,” You reminded him. It had been your first promise, after all.

“There is nothing quite like the pleasure of already getting what you wanted,” he said simply.

Tag List: @phantom-fangirl-stuff @triggeredpossum @obsessedwithrogertaylor @groupiie-love @richiethotzierz @partydulce @sophierobisonartfoundationblr @psychostarkid @teathymewithben @smittyjaws @just-ladyme @botinstqueen @mydogisthebest @little-welsh-wonder @maxjesty

#john deacon x reader #John Deacon #freddie mercury #jim hutton #roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #brian may #bohemian rhapsody #queen #queen x reader #rami malek #joe mazzello #gwilym lee #ben hardy

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braincoins · 6 years

Text

I couldn’t sleep so now I have donuts and now y’all have Bram & Ray’s six-month anniversary, featuring @tybunnythehellmoose‘s Percy and a namedrop of a certain other university familiar to fans of “The Librarians.”

Quick note for those unfamiliar with IOU: the Lazarus Health Center on campus heals the injured and sick and also (as the name would suggest) can put you back together again/resurrect you. However, if something else gets into the mix with the rest of you, there can be some... funky results. In any case...

It was meant to be a nice dinner out at Pancho Sanza’s. The food wasn’t much to speak of, in Bram’s opinion, but it was better than anything on campus, and this was where they’d met. It was their six-month anniversary after all. Bram would never have pegged himself as the sentimental type, but that was before Ray. He was a complete sap when it came to Ray, and it was surprisingly nice to have someone to be a giant mushy mess all over. In private, of course. PRIVATE. Percy, for one, would never have let him hear the end of it if they knew. And Ray likely would have wanted to know the significance of six months in the human courtship ritual calendar, and would be perplexed that there really wasn’t one.

So Bram hadn’t mentioned it to Ray and definitely hadn’t brought it up with Percy. But he knew it had been six months to the day that Ray had come into his life, and he wanted to mark the occasion. Of course, everyone else was marking the occasion of yesterday’s grand moopsball triumph over Wexler University (never mind that they were relatively new to the college-level moopsball competition; any victory was celebrated as if it were the end of the world).

Thus Pancho Sanza’s was packed near to bursting. At this point, Percy worked pickup shifts, covering for people who were out and coming in when the extra help was needed (as well as doing some scouting work for the occasional raid on the competition – the Generalissimo took corporate warfare a bit literally). Since the place was overflowing with rowdy college students, Percy was running their ass off.

Bram sighed. “Well, this was never going to be a quiet evening, but I’m sorry it’s this loud,” he all but screamed to Ray, who was sitting right next to him in the booth.

“I have no idea what you said, but I’m sure I agree,” Ray replied.

Bram couldn’t help chuckling. He was thinking about flagging Perse down for a spare notepad of paper, like the kind the servers used, so they could pass notes like idiot schoolchildren, but then someone walked up to the table.

“Well, look who we have here.”

Bram’s first reaction was Oh great. His second reaction was He still looks good, and his third reaction was, How the great bloody hell can he make himself heard over this?

It was Chad Willingham, one of the most popular blokes on campus. Bram had no idea why: he didn’t play sports, he wasn’t involved in student government or in rebelling against student government. He was renowned mostly for the sheer number of sexual conquests he had, and Bram had, unfortunately, been one of them.

But popular he was and there was a certain privilege that seemed to go along with popularity: when Chad spoke, people listened. So when Chad stood there at the end of their table and announced himself like that, the crowd noise dimmed somewhat. Everyone wanted to hear what Chad had to say.

And what Chad had to say was, “The two worst lays on campus hanging out together? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

The crowd noise died entirely at that. Completely silent. Which didn’t really surprise Bram, because he was certainly speechless. What could he say to that? That he’d been only one step removed from a virgin at that point? It didn’t bother him that Ray had apparently slept with Chad, because, dammit, virtually everyone had. (Except for Percy, who had declared him beneath their standards.)

But Ray just smiled over the remnants of their fajitas. “I find it strange to hear you say that.”

Chad snorted. “Why? Did you think you were some sort of sex god?”

“I do not think I’m any sort of deity, no. But I also do not believe you are.”

That seemed to sting Chad’s pride. “Ask around.”

“I have no need to. As you have intimated, I have experienced your talents first hand.” Ray rose to his feet with that otherworldly grace that always made Bram marvel. He was looking Chad straight in the eye. “I find it strange to hear you qualify Bram and I as ‘the worst lays on campus’ – meaning the worst sexual partners you’ve had – because you hardly put forth any testing, rigorous or otherwise.”

There was some quiet chuckling rippling through the background at that. But Ray wasn’t finished.

He continued, in that steady, even voice, “You have valued quantity over quality, and because of that, you have only spent the single night with me. I assume it was the same for you, Bram?” He looked to him for confirmation, and Bram could only nod. Ray’s voice carried through the restaurant as he returned his attention to Chad. “So you could not truly know the scope of our sexual capabilities.

“Yes, I am with Bram. We have been together for exactly six months now, and they have been wonderful. Bram has chosen to get to know me and to let me know him. He has taken the effort to know what pleases me – sexually and otherwise,” Bram could feel his face heating, “and is happy to perform these tasks. I, in turn, have tried to reciprocate.

“Bram has made me happier and brought me more satisfaction than you or anyone else in my acquaintance.” Ray stared the interloping Chad down and declared, “I neither sought nor want your opinion on my or my boyfriend’s sexual talents. It is unnecessary. Bram and I each achieved orgasm three times last night.”

There was hooting and hollering at that, but all Bram could do was mutter, “You counted. Of course you bloody counted,” as he dropped his head into his hands.

There was a smile in Ray’s voice as he replied soothingly, “The data was important to me.” And Bram smiled like an idiot behind his hands because Ray always said that and what he always meant by it was that Bram was important to him, and it made his breath short and his heart race.

Ray’s voice was back to being strident as he said, “I seem to recall you, Chad, were more the… what’s the term for ‘reaching climax once and then falling asleep’?”

“‘One and done’?” Bram suggested, finally lifting his head.

“Yes, that. One and done.” The crowd seemed to enjoy that, but Ray was focused on Chad. “You value quantity over quality. As such, I would not expect you to be able to properly evaluate anyone’s sexual quality – not mine, not Bram’s, and, most likely, definitely not your own.”

Bram was glad that he’d raised his head because he saw it. He saw the anger flashover in Chad’s body language. He didn’t appear to be armed, wearing a pink polo shirt and tight jeans, but if there was one thing Bram had learned about life at IOU it was Never Assume You’re Safe.

Where Ray had risen slowly and elegantly, Bram shot to his feet, the gatling handcannon already in his hand and pointed straight at Chad. The end of the barrel was almost right up against the asshole’s nose. “Try it,” he said tightly. “They’ll be wringing your face out of a mop at the Health Center to put it back together again. We’ll see if nacho cheese and tequila where portions of your brains used to be help your GPA any.”

Chad paled but stood his ground for one second, two… then sneered and headed for the door. Loud cheers broke out through the crowd as Bram reholstered his gun and resumed his seat.

Ray sat down next to him and leaned over to kiss his temple. “Thank you for protecting me, Bram.”

“Thanks for standing up for me, Ray.” Then he recalled something Ray had said. “You remembered that it’s our six month anniversary?”

“Is that not why we’re here?” Ray asked, sounding adorably confused.

“Well, yes, but I didn’t realize you were so sentimental.”

“I always knew you were,” was Ray’s answer, and Bram was blushing again. Ray just leaned in and kissed him, and Bram was practically giddy with happiness.

And then, of course, as bloody always, there was Percy. “Nice job, you two! The Generalissimo is so impressed, he’s giving you a pineapple sundae on the house for the free entertainment!” They set the dish – and two spoons – down on the table in front of them.

“Why is there a grenade in it?” Ray asked.

“That’s the pineapple,” Bram groaned at the same time that Percy said it (though their tone was far more chipper).

“And, correct me if I’m wrong,” Percy leaned in a little and dropped their voice (would wonders never cease?!), “but don’t you need to wind that clockwork monstrosity before you use it?”

Bram grinned. “Yes, but he didn’t know that.”

Percy laughed and stood up again. “Go on, eat up. Don’t forget to pull the pin first!”

Ray reached for it, but Bram clasped both his hands over Ray’s. “Thank the Generalissimo for us, but we should get our check and get going.”

“Awww.” Perse pouted. “But if you manage to finish it before it goes off, you get your name and photo on the Wall of Fame!”

“You mean that completely empty section of wall there?” Ray asked.

“It’s not empty!” Percy replied.

“Blood splatters don’t count,” Bram muttered. “And that’s a type of fame I can do without, thanks.”

Percy snickered. “I guess it is better to be known as Mr. Three-Times-A-Night.”

Ray replied, “Sometimes more. I just cited the most recent dataset and…”

Bram stood. “Right, time to go. Percy, put it on my tab, will you? I’ll settle up next time I’m in.”

But Ray pulled him back down. “We have a free treat. We can eat around the pineapple if you don’t like it. But I would like to stay and celebrate properly.”

Bram smiled. “Dammit, you know I have trouble saying no to that smile.”

Percy beamed. “Happy Anniversary!” they sing-songed as they waltzed off to another table.

“Very happy,” Ray agreed, looking into Bram’s eyes.

#IOU #Bram & Ray #my OCs #also Percy #dorky boys in love #Braym #and Percy!

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luccie-eclair · 7 years

Text

Dear Nora Valkyrie (Renora Week: AU)

“Okay, take a lunch break. Your director wants you back in exactly one hour,” the Asian man instructed the cast of dancers before taking a sip of water. One girl, in a red dress passed by him. “And, Ruby?” She stopped to look at him. “Maybe try not wearing a dress to rehearsal.”

She blushed and nodded. “I didn’t think we’d be dancing. I’ll remember tomorrow.”

The man chuckled and grabbed his bag before meeting with their assistant director, Glynda Goodwitch. He received brief instruction for their next rehearsal and made mental notes before leaving the dance room and walking down the long halls of the studio.

He had about 3 hours to eat lunch and get ready for his dance students. One door he passed read “Cast and Crew for TEM only” in pink, curly handwriting with a heart on the bottom. There was music seeping through the cracks of the door with what sounded like singing.

“Cause I’m tap, tap, tapping on the glass. Waving through a window.” Gorgeous singing from a girl, it sounded like.

He glanced at the sign. He was the choreographer and would be credited on the playbill. That made him crew, right? Definitely. The man opened the door and stepped in while the singing continued. He quietly shut it as to not disturb them and looked around the room. Barren, blue walls with white tiles, but what brightened the room were the mannequins who were adorned with costumes and stray bits of fabrics and measuring tape. The front right corner of the room had two, wooden dividers -a dressing room of sorts. On the back wall was a desk with a sewing machine, a small set of speakers, a lamp, and rolls of silk, cotton, and literally every other type of cloth and to the right of it stood a sofa. On that wall were sketches and designs with precise measurements tacked in various places with a checklist close by. But sitting at the desk was a young woman with bright orange curls and a blue bandana wrapped around her head to prevent bangs from getting into her eyes. She wore a pink hoodie that practically swallowed her and white leggings; her shoes were no where to be seen.

The man stood captivated by her movements. Her fingers flowed over the seams and checked, double checked, and triple checked the design next to her. She skillfully removed the pins she set into the cloth as she sewed it together while belting the climax of a piece from Dear Evan Hansen. He watched her pause as she held out the final note and rest her head on her palm.

A throat cleared. The seamstress jumped in shock and turned around. Her pale skin was burried under freckles, but amidst the mess of jumbled constellations on her skin were bright, teal eyes under round specs. Jingle bells spoke to him. “Can I help you?”

“Um, no,” one of his hands stuffed itself into the pocket of his sweatpants. “I just heard someone singing. I got curious. You sounded beautiful.” Nice introduction. Ten out of ten.

Her face flushed and she smiled. “Thank you, but I was just messing around. Keeping myself a little entertained while I work, you know?”

The choreographer nodded in understanding. “You make costumes.”

“And build the set with some outside help, of course. Did I get your measurements?” She swiftly turned her back to him and scuffled under the mess of thread, fabric, and papers, but came out with a clipboard. “I could’ve sworn I got everyone last week. What’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m not a cast member,” he said as he stepped closer to her and pushed the clipboard down. She looked up and he gazed into her orbs. “I’m Lie Ren, but just call me Ren. I’m the choreographer.”

She gave him a thousand kilowatt smile. “Nora Valkyrie. Pleased to meet you.” She held out a hand, her fingernails painted in pink and blue patterns. Her face scrunched in confusion. “I’ve done work for a lot of musicals, so I know a lot of people, but I’ve never worked with you. Is this you first show?

He smiled at her and nodded. "I’m a dance professor at one of the universities. I figured I’d try something a bit different.”

Nora smirked and grabbed her phone from behind the sewing machine. It still played showtunes that blared from the speakers it was connected to. Her fingers circled around the screen into some lock key that no one should be able to remember, let alone create, and handed him the phone. “Show me.”

~*~

Ren visited her workshop of headless mannequins and drapery everyday after practice for months. He occasionally joined her in building the set and he had the paint splatters on various pairs of sweats to prove it. Eventually, he’d decide to bring lunch from home so he could sit with her a touch longer before having to leave for his students. They had a set routine that never grew tiresome: he’d pop in while she was mid-song (she used to stop when he entered, but slowly got comfortable enough to sing louder when he came in), he’d sit on the sofa and watch her work, and they’d just talk. About what? It didn’t matter. Anything and everything. Sometimes he’d just sit and listen to her voice glide over the sweet melodies pouring from her speakers. Sometimes he’d join her on parts he knew she couldn’t sing at the same time as others. Other times, Ren would sit and watch her fingers coast the fabric and thread in her hands, no talking necessary, just the melodies of her voice gliding through the room.

It was easy to tell that the two admired one another. The fleeting glances, the eye contact that held many a conversation, hidden smiles, flushed cheeks, and lingering touches. They’d given away their obvious infatuation, yet the only ones in the dark were themselves.

Of course, the two had been teased by fellow crew members. Blake and Weiss, the acting and vocal coaches respectively, near threatened to write a poem and a song in his name. The makeup artist and hair stylist, Yang was very vocal and pushed Nora in his direction more than once before running off or placing mistletoes over them despite it being spring. Ruby, Oscar, Jaune, and Pyrrha, all of whom were lead cast members, took the sensible approach in trying to just get them to go on a date without any elaborate schemes. “Talk to him/her”, they said.

Yet, when the opportunity arose, neither took it. Both remained passive, close friends who admired one another from a distance. A rather close distance.

~*~

“Nora-”

“Ren-”

They paused and locked eyes before bursting into laughter. She looked away seeming almost apprehensive. “Go ahead. It wasn’t that important.”

Ren raised a brow at her. She’d been doing that a lot recently. Starting questions and never finishing them. She looked anxious. “Are you sure? It seems important.”

Nora flashed him a smile dimmer than the one he got from her earlier. “Nope. Ask away, Ren.”

He wouldn’t press her on it now, he decided. He had a slightly medium sized fish to fry. Well, it could be big, maybe. He’d been planning to ask for a few days now… so maybe a medium large fish? “Are you ever going to audition Anastasia? They’re supposed to start practice in November."

That was not the question he meant to ask, in case anyone was curious. Apparently, his lips had other plans today.

She pursed her plump, rosy lips in thought. "Jaune asked me about that… Maybe. But probably not. The others are auditioning anyway. I think I really like my job. You know, behind the scenes stuff. Sounds cool and mysterious.”

Ren smiled softly and took her hand. “You should go for it anyway.” He’d ask her another time then.

~*~

The first show was hectic, but it went as smoothly as anyone expected it to. Nora mostly stayed backstage checking everyone’s costumes and patching any emergent tears. She didn’t get much of an opportunity to actually watch the show. She walked down the corridors to the costume studio to grab her things. A bouquet of moss rosebuds lay at the foot of her door with a long, folded pamphlet attached to it. She gingerly plucked them both from the ground and opened the pamphlet. It was a map of New York with the words “Does anybody have a map… to dinner?” in black scrawl. The woman laughed. Clearly her friends were up to something and, judging by the handwriting, Dear Evan Hansen joke, and the flowers, Yang and Blake were involved. In a smaller, loopy cursive, she saw “Meet me on stage.”

Nora glanced both ways down the hall, searching for prying eyes. She certainly didn’t feel any on her backside, but figured she’d check anyhow. Her sneakers began to squish against the tiled floor as she made her way back to the stage. The sight itself shocked and confused her, but it made her break into a smile and giggle.

The Tuck Everlasting set still stood proudly and the pink stage lights from Hairspray shined down on a table set for two with a large plate of spaghetti and meatballs. An exasperated Ren sat at the chair across from her behind what looked like a window in a striped shirt and a fake cast. The West Side Story soundtrack played from a stereo next to the table.

A voice loudly “whispered from the wings. "Ren, wave.”

He rolled his eyes and raised his casted arm to wave at her. She let out a full laugh. “For the record,” he started. “My idea didn’t have so many moving parts. I was gonna leave you flowers and a note. Then you’d meet me here, and we’d have pancakes, but everyone else had a different plan.”

Nora’s laughter died down and she sat in the empty chair. “Is this a date?”

“Well, it feels more like a date with our friends than each other. But yes, it is supposed to be a date.”

She bit her bottom lip and reached for his uncasted hand. “You can take me on another this weekend.” She saw his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “This is really cute, though. We’ve got a Tuck Everlasting set, Hairspray lights, West Side Story music, Lady and the Tramp dinner, and Dear Evan Hansen on you.”

Ren groaned and interlocked their fingers. He peered at her behind his shaggy bangs. Her smile alonewould power all of Manhattan for years. “Okay,” he conceded. “Maybe it isn’t terrible.”

A/N: First and foremost, huge thanks to @rwbywriter22 @scarlet-curls @flagbearer-or-scouts @claraowl even if I didn’t use all of your ideas directly or word for word, you really helped me get the creative (ish) juices flowing. I kid you not, I finished this 5 minutes before posting it because I didn’t know how to finish it until yesterday 😧. I obviously don’t own any shows that were mentioned. Um… I probably could’ve taken out that part before the end, but whatevs. I actually really enjoy this AU. Someone make a slow burn/slice of life series out of this *realizes who wrote it* I should make this a series *realizes that i have zero time* actually, a one shot is good.

#renora #rwby #renora week 2017 #renora week #lie ren #nora valkyrie #team sloth week 2017 #team sloth week #team sloth #flowerpower

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whatthewalt · 4 years

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Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (2018)

Do zombies really want to eat your brains? Or would they rather play football, date cheerleaders and fight apartheid? You know zombies are pretty much mainstream and domesticated when they feature in a Disney Channel Original Movie. Can the walking dead make West Side Story interesting? Will the colour scheme of this movie fry your TV set? It’s George A. Romero meets High School Musical in Disney’s Z-O-M-B-I-E-S.

Nostalgia Alert

This movie is not even two years old. I had never heard of it before scrolling through the app. I hadn’t even heard any one mention this movie ever. So I’m going into this one completely blind.

Showtime!

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S begins with an animated sequence explaining the backstory for the movie. Finding a creative way to info dump at the start of a movie is always going to win points with me. The sequence answers my number one question going into this movie: what kind of zombies are we dealing with here? Are they Romero, slow-moving folk risen from their graves by some mystical/unknown power? Or are they the 28 Days Later type: fast-moving and ferocious victims of a viral outbreak? Z-O-M-B-I-E-S goes for a third option - they are victims of nuclear fallout from an explosion which mutated them into mindless freaks who crave delicious brains. Now years have passed. The zombies have been tamed by the wonders of medical science and are back to normal. But not normal enough for the world at large. They are confined to the Zombieland ghetto, refused access to the same resources as everyone else, and are kept under strict curfews and harsh police treatment. Yep, in this movie zombies are a metaphor for black people in apartheid era South Africa or the segregated mid-20th century American South. If anyone has written a think-piece on this movie from an African-American perspective, please shoot me the link - I’m sure it would be a fascinating read.

The first thing that struck me once we transitioned from the animated sequence to the main, live action section of the movie is the set and costume design and colour palette. The Zombies stand out with their grey skin, green hair and drab, ill-fitting clothes. This is in stark contrast to the bright, clean-cut and matching pastels worn by the “normals”. Zombieland looks like the set designer of Sesame Street took one too many tabs of LSD at a 90s rave party. And that’s not an attack - anything that makes me think I’m stuck inside of an issue of the Tank Girl comic book is a win in my book. It’s obvious that there’s not a single scene in Z-O-M-B-I-E-S where the production team half-assed it. There’s something visually interesting happening in every shot.

It’s the first day of school and something is about to happen that has never happened before - zombies are being introduced to normal high school for the first time. Sort of. A chain link fence separates the students and the zombies are restricted to the basement where they are taught by a zombie teacher (who was a janitor the week before). We can’t have the nice, normal kids mixing with those brain-eating freaks. Zed is a teenage zombie who dreams of joining the football team and showing everyone that zombies and humans can get along peacefully. But it’s hard to fulfill your dreams when you aren’t allowed near the football field or fellow students. Addison is also experiencing her first day of school, but from a different perspective. She comes from a respectable family and has been training her entire life to be a cheerleader. Even though her cousin is captain of the cheerleaders and the coolest guy at school, she is afraid that people might discover her secret and label her a freak. Of course Zed and Addison will meet, fall in love and bring about a whole cheerleaders vs zombies West Side Story apocalypse.

Do you know why I said West Side Story instead of Romeo and Juliet? Here I am, innocently watching a movie, appreciating all of the pretty colours, when someone starts singing. “No!” I say to myself, “Is this a musical? Surely this isn’t a zombie musical?” And yes it was. People start singing their feelings. Crowds break into choreographed dance routines. And I’m loving every minute of it. Which isn’t a give. I’m not a huge fan of musicals. Just read my review of Newsies to see how musicals can very rub me up the wrong way. But this is glorious. The cheerleaders are pretty and peppy and sparkly. The zombies move like they have grown up watching Michael Jackson’s Thriller their entire lives. One song later in the movie literally has the characters bouncing off a concrete floor. This is like High School Musical, except, you know, good.

Of course, Zed joins the football team and proves to everyone that zombies are okay. Addison’s secret is revealed and she doesn’t care who knows that she’s in love with a zombie. The movie climaxes with a cheerleading competition where humans and zombies work together to fight prejudice and end apartheid. And at no point do I care how cliched the plot is because every moment of this movie is constructed out of pure joy.

Was It Any Good?

A million times yes! If you have seen this movie and hadn’t told me previously how awesome this is, shame on you. This could well be my favourite Disney movie of all time. And the thing is, I would never have watched it if it wasn’t for this blog. I’m not the target market - I’m not a pre-teen girl and never have been. Why isn’t my social media newsfeed filled with Z-O-M-B-I-E-S memes? Why aren’t I hearing kids in the school I teach at singing these songs? Why aren’t cosplayers swarming Comicon in Z-O-M-B-I-E-S inspired getups? This is a tragedy and can’t be allowed to continue. Go watch Z-O-M-B-I-E-S now. If you don’t have a Disney Plus subscription, sign up today and wait to watch The Mandalorian until you have thoroughly consumed this undead masterpiece. Being exposed to this singing and dancing assault on the senses has made my subscription and this blog 100% worth it. Run (in a dragging, zombie like way) right now and check it out.

#Zombies #Disney #Disney+#Disney Plus #Disney Channel Original Movie #Musical #Romero #High School Musical #Movie Review

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sawthingsiimagined · 7 years

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#XD30 FIFTEEN | DOUBLE TROUBLE

[Ride or die - Jada]

I’m back in New York to attend a fashion show. Since the tour began I had been gaining a lot of attention in the fashion world. It was fact that I really did keep my shit together and I always offered a bomb look everywhere I went. The fashion show wasn’t until tomorrow so I had a day to play in the city. The tour would be in Chicago in a couple of days and the crew were already there setting up including Jace, Adrienne and Mona. The record label sent me 2 assistants to accompany me the day of the show and of course security went everywhere else with me.

Since I had a day to do nothing and I was basically there alone, Q decided to come to NYC to spend the two days there with me. I was excited because he wouldn’t have to do any work and we were going to try to stay at the same hotel to avoid people catching us meeting up in public. Finally I get to get a piece of that TRAPPERS life. Little did I know, I would get more than a piece.

We planned to meet up at an Italian restaurant called Syvlan in Brooklyn before we went to our rooms in Manhattan. We had separate rooms booked so the hotel staff wouldn’t figure out that we were there together and leak rumors, or the truth, to the media. What had my little life become? I waited in the backseat of a black Town Car until he texted me that it was cool to come inside. For once I was happy to be completely alone. My security company signed his security on to my protection plan for tonight to lessen the amount of people that would be moving around with us. Q had 3-5 security officers with him at all times. My 1 security deserved a break. Besides the pool party incident, I had not been directly in harms way.

I waited outside for about 15 minutes touching up my make up and making sure I was looking like a piece of perfection. I decided to wear my hair down in a straight style and pulled to the back. I wore a short black Givenchy dress that stopped mid-thigh and mid breast, exposing my long legs and smooth shoulders. My 6 inch stilettos made me appear taller and stripper-like. My diamond studded Brahmin clutch completed my look. I was smelling good, looking good and feeling good. If Q had any uncertainties about making me his lady they would all go away tonight.

I finally received a text that it was safe to come in.

The text read: ‘You can come in and eat or I can come out there and eat’

I replied: ’*Blushing Emoji*…I’m walking in’

I get out of the car and I walk towards the front door. I see him walking onto the restaurants veranda to meet me. I tried to contain my smile. Suddenly I hear gunshots ring out and they were close. Literally a few feet away. Q runs to me and grabs my hand pulling me into the restaurant. I was freaked out but I was skiing through that restaurants in my 6 inch heels like a bad bitch. He pulled me into an employees only area and told me to wait there. He took off the sports coat he was wearing and handed it to me. He then ran back towards the front of the restaurant. By this time the entire restaurant was in panic. I was the only one standing still while everyone either ran for cover or out of the restaurant. This never happened at Olive Garden back home. This was definitely some New York type shit that you see in movies.

Q returned back safely with his dress shirt opened. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought he had been in a fight. That’s when I became concerned. Why was he acting as if he was involved with what was going on and where was his security? No sooner than I had those questions, one of his security guards picked me up, and following his lead, we ran through the loud, busy kitchen where the workers continued cooking as if nothing was going on. The food looked good and I was tempted to grab a breadstick while I was being carried, a true to go snack, but I was on my James Bond, Charlie’s Angel, Mr. And Mrs. Smith shit right now. For some reason I was so shocked that I wasn’t panicking yet. Before we opened the back door Q turned to ask me, “Baby are you ok?”

“Yea I’m good,” I replied like a confused child. “I’ll explain later,” he said and then opened the door.

“Q CLOSE THE DOOR!” I screamed. No sooner than he was able to close the door bullets ricocheted off of the metal door. I saw a guy in a silver 4 door Mercedes Benz roll down his window with a mask on. I knew it wasn’t Halloween so I followed my fear instinct.

By this time the kitchen was in a panic. Security rushed us into the cooler and there we waited until the coast was clear. I could hear police sirens get closer and people screaming. At that point my eyes began to water. I was afraid. I had come that close to seeing someone get shot or even worse, me getting shot. All I could think about was my brother and how scared he would be if he knew what I was witnessing. Security put me down on the ground. I didn’t even notice how cold I was until Q put his jacket over me and pulled me into his chest. He planted kisses on my forehead and held me. That’s when I begin to sob silently. It was too much. This was the third incident since I had been on tour that I was close to a shooting. This time I actually saw a shooter. Growing up in church we were taught to believe in signs. I couldn’t figure out what these shootings meant but hopefully sooner or later it would make sense.

In the meantime I was soaking up the attention I was getting from Q. I could tell by the way he was rubbing his fingers through my hair, and refusing to let me go, that he knew that he had some explaining to do. After waiting in the cooler for about 10 minutes, we were escorted outside into a black SUV. Once inside I didn’t say anything. I saw news trucks, crowds of people and police cars everywhere. I looked out of the window in silence for half of the ride. Q reached over and grabbed my hand. He noticed that my eyes were red and he rubbed the side of my face. When we got to the hotel he asked if he could stay over in my room. I was hesitant but also I was afraid to be alone. We walked into my room and without say anything I went in the bathroom to take a shower. I was relieved to not be alone but I also needed a moment for myself.

I let warm water rush over my body. I stood there for what felt like eternity before I even began washing my body with lavender soap and oils. I turned off the shower and I didn’t hear any noise or movement coming from the room. Maybe he decided to go to his room. To relieve myself I began singing to myself. I heard a tap on the door. Still wet, I reached for a towel to cover myself and I opened the door enough to see Q standing there looking pitiful.

“Thank you,” he said.

I wasn’t quite sure why I deserved thanks.

“You saved my life,” he continued saying. “Look ma. Long story short, it’s a lot of people not happy that me and the other guys made it out of the hood and we will still rep it. They think we are trying to market off of them. Then you have another group from the hood that we still deal with that feel like we owe them more than we already funnel back through there. It’s a lot more details but that’s why I was hesitant on whether or not I wanted me and you to take this anywhere besides fun. You’re too good for the world I’m from. I may be dressed in designer clothes but I’m still a hood boy at heart,” he finished.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him in the restroom. My older cousin told me if you can get a bad boy to share his feelings, then you have him whipped. I haven’t even given him any of my 'good-good’, besides oral, and he was already bowing down to me. I wanted him now. He can explain more later. Still holding my towel I sat on the counter pulling him in between my legs.

“Q, I’m here because I want you. Let’s work out the other stuff later,” I said.

“Damn ma. You rode for a nigga today. You scare me. You’re too perfect,” he said.

I crossed my arms behind his neck, pulled him towards me and placed my tongue in his mouth. I couldn’t wait any longer. I was wet and ready. Literally. Although what just happened scared the hell out of me, it also turned me on. He protected me and I protected him. I already knew the sex would be bomb just because of that.

I let my towel drop and he grabbed my breast. They were still wet from the shower. He begin sucking on them, going back and forth between each one. I unbuttoned his shirt and exposed his slim fit, tattooed body. I then unbuckled his pants to let him know that I wanted all of him. He took his finger and reached between my legs to rub my center. I heard him whisper “damn” in response to my wetness. He took the fingers and stuck them in his mouth. He then begin kissing me all over my body. This is what I had been waiting for. He was so passionate in a thug boy type way. He got on his knees and begin serving my center in a way that said 'I’m so sorry’. I pulled him up because I felt like he was teasing me. I grabbed his dick and begin stroking it while I looked him in the eye. “I want you,” I said softly. He kissed me deep and while I was lost in his kiss he entered me pushing my back against the mirror. He started off really slow so that I could adjust to taking his dick. It touched every nerve in me and it felt like he was in my stomach. I moaned louder than I had ever moaned. I could tell it was turning him on even more. He started picking up pace and I grabbed on to him tighter. He picked me up and put me on the ground turning me around so that I could face the mirror. He pushed me down so that my breast were touching the counter. He then gently grabbed my neck and started kissing on my neck and sucking my ear. Next thing I knew, he entered me from behind. He was clever. He wanted me to see him send me to euphoria. I knew that was the case because he had the sexiest, most mischievous grin on his face. I almost couldn’t take it. Before I knew it I had climaxed and he would not let up. He kept going and I felt another release coming on. I had never had two consecutive orgasms. I understood then the full meaning of the song 'Trap Queen’ and why a girl became a 'Trap Queen’. If the dick was that good I’ll be kitchen cooking dope with my baby too. It was that good. I was about to catch my breath and say I couldn’t take anymore but I heard him let out a growl that let me knew he had climaxed. He dropped to his knees and kissed my ass and then laid right there on the bathroom floor pulling me on top of him. I was done. Before I realized it I had dozed off….butt naked on the bathroom floor. My damn head was in between the tub and the toilet and I didn’t even care.

I woke up, in my bed under covers. I looked over and Q was next to me watching tv. I tried to reach for him but noticed that a tray of food was between us. He ordered room service and I’m glad he did because I was beyond hungry. He looked over at me and smiled. I never knew him to be a smiler from the fan point of view, so to see him smile made me want him and another round.

He was so thoughtful. He ordered an Italian dinner for us to enjoy in bed since we didn’t eat any at the restaurant. He was watching a basketball game and offered to turn the channel but I didn’t mind. We ate in silence. Once we were finished he moved all of the dinnerware to the table on the other side of the room.

“And now for dessert,” he said.

He went under the covers and put his head between my legs quicker than I could look around to see if there was actual dessert somewhere. I didn’t see anything so I knew he had energy for another round. He came up, laid on his back and licked his lips. I got on top of him and kissed him before sliding down and taking him inside of mouth. I gave that meat my all. I knew that he was about to pull me into his world and I knew he would be the source of my headaches but this sex and his charm was worth it …..not to mention whatever else he had to offer.

“Ma, I’m about to cum,” he moaned. I wasn’t done. I jumped on top of him and started to ride him. I went up and down possibly 4 times and then I said, “now.”

He started convulsing and shaking, latching onto my hips. I couldn’t move because he held me down tight, releasing himself inside of me. Once he released I laid on his chest. I heard my phone vibrating but it would have to wait. I wanted this man’s everything. Right now I had his time, attention and dick. Nothing was going to distract me.

“You’re a ride or die chick for real ma,” he said laughing at the way I just gave him the ride of his life. That night I laid there knowing I was the queen and as far as I was concerned, he was my king.

#xd30 #double trouble #romenwrites #blackwriter #writer #writingchallenge #Jada and jace

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obtusemedia · 6 years

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In Ascending Order: Ranking Every Peak-Era (1980-2004) U2 Song

Few classic rock bands’ legacies have been as negatively impacted by their latter-day material as U2. Or at least that’s how it seems whenever the Irish four-piece release a new album: The knives (and snark) come out on Twitter and in critical reviews.

This always struck me as a little odd: Yeah, I’m not going to defend Songs of Experience or anything — their recent albums are legitimately bland and uninspired. But they’re also nearly 40 years into their recording career. The Rolling Stones lost their juice 15 years before that, and most other classic rock titans like The Beatles or Led Zeppelin or Guns n’ Roses simply broke up when they were still hot. The only classic rocker who stayed legitimately relevant in his old age is David Bowie, and even he was irrelevant for about 15-20 years before his final two comeback albums (maybe U2 can pull that off in a decade or two?).

So instead of focusing on U2′s diminishing returns, I want to celebrate their peak, starting with their energetic 1980 debut, Boy, up until the last album one could legitimately call a hit, 2004′s How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. This is a ranking of all 119 original album tracks from the 11 albums U2 released during this period. Here’s the ground rules:

1) No new tracks. The bottom of this list would be clogged with Songs of Experience and Songs of Innocence tracks otherwise (with a notable exception). It hurts to cut out No Line on the Horizon, which I’ve always found underrated, but it was a flop, and frankly, even its best songs wouldn’t crack the top 20. (Also, I’m not trying to make jokes about that forcing-songs-onto-your-phone debacle for half the list)

2) No covers or live (re-recorded) tracks. This only really applies to Rattle And Hum, which sprinkled in live recordings of previous U2 songs, as well as classic rock covers. I’m only counting the brand-new songs from that album. However, if it’s a new track that’s a live recording, it qualifies.

3) No EP tracks, side projects or stand-alone singles. This rule disqualifies anything from the Passengers album, Wide Awake in America, or any movie soundtrack tunes (or “A Celebration,” which I adore for how ridiculous the music video is).

#119: “Wild Honey” (All That You Can’t Leave Behind, 2000): Dear lord, is this saccharine. Corny hippie love songs are absolutely not a good fit for U2, and the band themselves seem over it. Also, pro tip: don’t compare yourself to a monkey.

#118: “One Step Closer” (How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, 2004): Unfortunately, it’s not a Linkin Park cover. In fact, it’s crazy boring.

#117: “Grace” (Leave Behind): Anyone who tries to tell you All That You Can’t Leave Behind is a top-tier U2 album clearly has only listened to the first half, because the second-half is quite uninspired. “Grace” tries to personify the titular attribute over a quiet soft-rock beat, and you’ll forget everything about it as soon as you listen to something else.

#116: “Love Rescue Me” (Rattle And Hum, 1988): Bob Dylan co-wrote and sings with Bono on this song. Unfortunately, it isn’t anywhere near “Like A Rolling Stone.” In fact, it’s six-and-a-half minutes of by-the-numbers bar blues that really makes clear why Rattle And Hum was considered a disappointment at the time.

#115: “Yahweh” (Atomic Bomb): I’m going to apologize now for the bottom of this list being mostly filler tracks from Atomic Bomb and Leave Behind, but I couldn’t help it. They both have their classics (we’ll get to those later), but when they’re bad — like in “Yahweh,” where Bono literally asks Jesus to kiss him on the mouth — they’re quite bad.

#114: “A Man And A Woman” (Atomic Bomb): Can someone let U2 know that they’re from Ireland and not Spain and they really can’t pull off this tired Latin-lover schtick?

#113: “The Playboy Mansion” (Pop, 1997): A lot of Pop reeks of its time period, but I don’t mind that for the most part. However, “Playboy Mansion” is dated in the worst way. It’s sleazy without being fun, like a half-drunk lounge singer mumbling at 3 a.m. in some upstate New York Holiday Inn about random pop culture references (Big Macs? Plastic surgery? O.J. Simpson?!). “Playboy” has aged very badly, and not in an entertaining way, unfortunately.

#112: “Is That All?” (October, 1981): There’s no songs on October, U2′s most forgotten album, that are outright garbage, but there are a few that are definitely pointless and meandering. This is one of them. “Is That All?” sounds like the record company needed one more song for the album, and the band just threw this together in 5 minutes.

#111: “Peace On Earth” (Leave Behind): The production is lifeless, but Bono’s lyrics actually have some bite to them. His moaning about the dire state of the world is a bit overwrought, but in an album full of rah-rah optimism, this is a nice change of pace.

#110: “4th of July” (The Unforgettable Fire, 1984): It’s an instrumental track. It does provide some nice atmospheric build-up for the classic song that immediately follows it, but on its own, “4th of July” is very skippable.

#109: “Crumbs From Your Table” (Atomic Bomb): “Crumbs” has a nice rock groove, but I think I’ll pass on the guilt trip. Yes, world hunger is a legitimate issue that Bono is noble for trying to fix, but instead of inspiring people to help here, he just gets bitter. Not for me. Although “Crumbs” does get one great line in: “Where you live should not decide/whether you live or whether you die.”

#108: “When I Look At The World” (Leave Behind): Decent production, but a forgettable tune and lyrics.

#107: “Red Light” (War, 1983): I’ve always felt that War would make a fabulous 8-song, super-short album. But nope, there’s two extra songs that are quite pointless, if not outright bad. “Red Light” is one of them. Bono gives the necessary energy, but there’s no hook. And the trumpet solo feels very out-of-place.

#106: “Stranger In A Strange Land” (October): This song is about immigration, but unfortunately, like most of the songs from October, the lyrics are too bare-boned to go too in-depth (Bono infamously lost his lyric book in Portland, Ore. right before they were set to record...oops).

#105: “Surrender” (War): This is the other song that should’ve been kept off War. It also lacks a good hook or interesting lyrics, but the verse melody is halfway-decent, so it goes a couple spots over “Red Light.”

#104: “Another Time Another Place” (Boy, 1980): Boy is a sneaky-good debut album from a band that’s mostly remembered for their mid-period years in the late-’80s and early-’90s. I’ve always felt their unpolished early albums never got the love they deserved. Unfortunately, “Another Time Another Place” doesn’t help my argument: it’s pretty paint-by-numbers.

#103: “Some Days Are Better Than Others” (Zooropa, 1993): Whether you like U2′s futuristic fever dream Zooropa or not, you certainly can’t call it unmemorable. ...except this song, which is pretty unmemorable.

#102: “Fire” (October): “Fire” has a nice rollicking energy to it that’s ruined by some of the most painfully unimaginative lyrics I’ve heard in a U2 song. The missing lyric book strikes again!

#101: “The Ocean” (Boy): It’s the shortest U2 song! Yes, even shorter than the instrumental “4th of July.” “The Ocean” is a nice melancholy tune, but because of its brief runtime, it sort of comes and goes without leaving much impact.

#100: “In A Little While” (Leave Behind): I guess for a John Mayer soundalike, this isn’t bad. The melody is nice. But ugh — I will never be able to stomach that faux-troubadour, early/mid-’00s singer-songwriter sound. Sorry, blame Jack Johnson oversaturation during my formative years.

#99: “If You Wear That Velvet Dress” (Pop): A gorgeous, subtle ballad that’s a breath of fresh air on U2′s noisiest album. Or at least, I’m assuming; I honestly can’t hear what’s going on. Bono is whispering more than singing for the entire first minute, and you have to crank up the volume just to tell what the hell’s going on. I get what they were going for here — a bleak, desperate ballad — but the execution was off.

#98: “Original of the Species” (Atomic Bomb): Atomic Bomb has lots of corny moments, and this entire song is one of them. It’s also kind of a mess, structure-wise: “Original” feels like a Frankenstein’s monster of power ballads, like four different songs awkwardly smushed together. But, I’d be lying if that chorus doesn’t have enough classic U2 oomph to redeem “Original” just a bit.

#97: “Scarlet” (October): A song with one word? I mean, you could call it intentionally minimalist...or you could assume that Bono was winging it after he left that lyric book in Portland. Yes, that one incident scars most of the album.

#96: “Daddy’s Gonna Pay For Your Crashed Car” (Zooropa): I think this is U2 going after the one percent, but it might be about a pimp? Or a serial killer? It’s kind of vague, which I feel was supposedly intentional. Unfortunately, the production takes too long to really pick up to help the song stand out beyond that.

#95: “Shadows and Tall Trees” (Boy): I don’t really go to Boy for its spaced-out ballads, but “Shadows” is still an okay track. The imagery is oblique and mysterious, and the final climax is a nice touch as well. Nothing mind-blowing (the lyrics get a bit repetitive), but it’s certainly an acceptable album closer.

#94: “Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses” (Achtung Baby, 1991): Achtung might be U2′s best album (sorry, Joshua Tree), but if there’s a weak link, this is it. “Wild Horses” isn’t a terrible tune, but it certainly suffers from cliched lyrics and production/melody that sounds suspiciously like a car commercial. It’s the band��s awkward attempt at a Springsteen song, and it doesn’t quite click.

#93: “I Threw a Brick Through a Window” (October): Definitely on the repetitive side, but that opening drum beat! And the Edge’s furious guitar work! It’s only half a song, but at least it’s a pretty good half.

#92: “Exit” (The Joshua Tree, 1987): Easily the darkest, most sinister song on Joshua Tree, but it doesn’t quite work. The climax is great — it’s all discordant guitar shredding and fast-paced drums — but it’s too short, and the buildup isn’t interesting enough.

#91: “Love and Peace or Else” (Atomic Bomb): This is another U2 track with a great idea (that sludgy, distorted guitar tone in the beginning is delicious), but winds up not quite working due to another factor (Bono turning it into a mediocre blues song).

#90: “Indian Summer Sky” (The Unforgettable Fire): It’s a near carbon-copy of “Wire,” which appeared just earlier on the album. Luckily (as you’ll see later), “Wire” is a great song, so “Indian Summer Sky” isn’t a disaster by any means. But it also fails to stand out.

#89: “When Love Comes to Town” with B.B. King (Rattle And Hum): When Rattle And Hum was released, some critics took shots at U2 trying to place themselves among rock legends like B.B. King, but I don’t really have an issue with that. What I have a problem with is Bono getting completely outclassed on his own song (King fulfills his duty with some silky-smooth guitar solos), which turns out to be pretty standard blues-rock. Come on, y’all could’ve given King something better to work with.

#88: “The Refugee” (War): This song is kind of ridiculous (having tribal drums for a song about refugees might not have been the most sensitive choice there, guys), but it’s got enough righteous anger and energy (and grunting noises???) to make it memorable. Not a War highlight, but not skip-worthy, either.

#87: “Heartland” (Rattle And Hum): “Heartland,” Bono’s ode to the American landscape, certainly is gorgeous. Edge and Larry Mullen Jr.’s harmonizing backing vocals add a lot here. But it feels a bit odd to have Bono singing his guts out on the chorus about ... uh, wheat fields and rivers.

#86: “If God Will Send His Angels” (Pop): I’m not sure if this song was meant to sound sleazy or sincere, it unfortunately winds up in the awkward middle in-between the two. Still, Bono comes through with a solid chorus melody, and I do have to give props for songs that sound better after 1 a.m.

#85: “Mothers of the Disappeared” (The Joshua Tree): “Mothers” tackles a very heavy subject: children who had been kidnapped by dictatorships in Chile and Argentina. As a result, the funeral durge sound is appropriate. It’s not the most memorable album closer, but it wasn’t meant to be anything other than a respectful tribute, which it does nicely.

#84: “New York” (Leave Behind): It’s a bit odd that a song this pessimistic and odd (by U2 standards, at least) wound up on the very radio-friendly All That You Can’t Leave Behind. It’s an interesting, trance-like song with a nice crunchy chorus that’s only dimmed by Bono’s lyrics: “Hot as a hair dryer in your face/ Hot as a handbag and a can of mace.” ...what?

#83: “Tryin’ To Throw Your Arms Around the World” (Achtung Baby): The vibe of this song is clear from the first verse: it’s all about that feeling early in the morning where you’re coming down into a hangover and you feel sluggish and helpless, but you’re still a little drunk. It captures that moment exactly, and if it was a more pleasant moment to live through, it would’ve ranked more highly.

#82: “Twilight” (Boy): Nope, not about sparkly vampires. It is about some random old guy stalking a young schoolboy though, so the creepy, spider-like guitar hook is quite appropriate.

#81: “Trip Through Your Wires” (The Joshua Tree): U2, at the height of their powers and fame, decided to record a country song. No, not heartland rock or folk — straight-up country. And it’s shockingly okay, for a bunch of Irish guys trying to sound like they’re from Texas.

#80: “Miracle Drug” (Atomic Bomb): Like most passable late-era U2, “Miracle Drug” is cheesy as hell...but damn, that chorus hits you in the gut. It doesn’t matter what inane lyrics Bono spits out if he can belt out a soaring melody coupled with those classic Edge riffs.

#78/79: “An Cat Dubh/Into The Heart” (Boy): This pair of tracks is meant to be the soundtrack of a teenage boy being seduced for the first time (this concept isn’t nearly as icky when you remember half the band were teens at the time). But instead of feeling sexy, it sounds unsettling. Still, it kind of works as a sinister, dangerous post-post punk track, so *shrug*

#77: “Angel of Harlem” (Rattle And Hum): I’m not sure why U2 felt a connection to Billie Holiday, and this song is a bit over-the-top with its horn pop-ins and Bono’s aggressive reference-dropping. But if you give into its charms, “Angel of Harlem” has a nice R&B groove and it’s a fun little detour from the overwrought seriousness of the rest of Rattle And Hum.

#76: “So Cruel” (Achtung Baby): Achtung was partially inspired by The Edge’s still-fresh divorce, and it clearly shows on this track. “So Cruel” is a raw, wounded trip-hop ballad that would’ve been a lot better if it was trimmed by about a minute.

#75: “Promenade” (The Unforgettable Fire): There’s been a few songs so far that I’ve criticized for not really having much of a climax. “Promenade” also shares that problem, but it was done intentionally here, like a tease. Although that still frustrates me, I have to at least respect “Promenade” for its gorgeous buildup into nothing.

#74: “With a Shout (Jerusalem)” (October): I have no clue what this song is about. Probably something Biblical, given how seemingly half the lyrics are Bono yelling “JEERUUUUUSAAAALEM” and going on about blood spilling and whatnot. Regardless, that new wave groove kinda bangs.

#73: “Drowning Man” (War): This is one of two ballads on a very angry, intense album. Although “Drowning Man” is decent, it’s definitely the weaker (and rightfully less famous) of the two. Bono’s on his A-game, wailing away like a lunatic in the best way possible, but the song itself kind of meanders around and then just ends.

#72: “Numb” (Zooropa): Putting this as Zooropa’s lead single might have been U2′s ballsiest move. Sure, the band has taken plenty of risks, but introducing their new album with The Edge monotonously mumbling random statements over a glitchy industrial beat? If Pitchfork was around in 1993, they would’ve eaten it up. As a song, it’s just okay. As a prank on the general public, it’s great. As a music video, it’s U2′s undisputed best (don’t fight me on this).

#71: “Staring At The Sun” (Pop): This is easily the song that’s aged the least on Pop, which is both a positive (it doesn’t reek of the late-’90s and can easily fit into modern concert setlists) and a negative (the aggressive late-’90s vibes of Pop are actually really fun). In other words, it’s a passable mid-tempo ballad.

#70: “Van Diemen’s Land” (Rattle And Hum): Edge actually sings this one! It’s a nice little Irish folk ballad, and proof that letting the guitarist sing for a song or two is never a bad idea.

#69: “A Day Without Me” (Boy): Fun fact: this is U2′s first single from their first album. It’s a passable, bouncy tune, but I’m kind of shocked that it was chosen as a single ahead of some of Boy’s stone-cold classics (we’ll get to those later).

#68: “The First Time” (Zooropa): Nestled into an album full of weirdo experimentation is this minimalist tune about how others’ compassion means nothing if you’re not willing to accept it. Ends with a nice twist on the classic Prodigal Son story. Not U2′s most gripping ballad, but there’s something about it that lingers with you.

#67: “Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get Out Of” (Leave Behind): The studio version is decent, but the acoustic version that Bono and Edge play live really accentuates the melancholy nature of Bono’s lyrics. Based on its backing instrumentation, “Stuck” can either be about getting stuck in a rut, or an uplifting anthem about getting yourself out of that rut.

#66: “One Tree Hill” (The Joshua Tree): No, it’s not about the TV show. “One Tree Hill” is actually a touching tribute to a former roadie and confidant of the band, Greg Carroll, a Maori man killed in a motorcycle accident. The song is an appropriate mixture of mournful and celebratory; A fitting sendoff to a good friend.

#65: “Acrobat” (Achtung Baby): Achtung Baby is a snarky, sarcastic album for the most part, but that fades away in the album’s closing three tracks, which are all proudly earnest in different ways. “Acrobat” is the angry one, in case you couldn’t tell by Edge’s sharp guitar (plus a killer solo at the end) and Bono railing against his critics. U2 have displayed their anger better in the past, but this is certainly no slouch of a song.

#64: “Last Night On Earth” (Pop): U2 takes on desert rock here, and they mostly nail it, mainly thanks to that massive, scream-along chorus. This could’ve easily fit on the Fear and Loathing soundtrack, and that’s a pretty weird thing to say about U2.

#63: “All Because of You” (Atomic Bomb): The best tracks from Atomic Bomb are in its actually-solid first half, and the rollicking, braindead-but-in-a-good-way “All Because of You” is a perfect example of that. Don’t think about it too hard, just nod your head to the dad-rock groove.

#62: “Stories For Boys” (Boy): I’m honestly surprised this many songs from Boy didn’t make the top half of the countdown given how much I like the album, but it’s more of a consistent record than a truly legendary one. “Stories For Boys” is essentially a catchier version of a lot of the album’s other wire-y post-punk jams.

#61: “I Fall Down” (October): Now we’re getting into the October tracks that actually feel like real songs instead of half-baked ideas. “I Fall Down” has all of the great early U2 hallmarks: a classy Edge piano riff; a surging, angry chorus; and Bono singing oblique cryptic lyrics that make no sense, but hey, they sound cool. Underrated track.

#60: “In God’s Country” (The Joshua Tree): AMERICA. BALD EAGLES. DESERTS. FARMS. OPEN PLAINS AND STUFF. (In all seriousness, this is a solid tune, if a bit hyperbolic with the Americana-themed lyrics.)

#59: “Lemon” (Zooropa): We’re halfway through the list, and I think it’s appropriate to mark that with one of U2′s more prominent experiments. After Zooropa’s first single was the jokey “Numb” with Edge rapping in monotone, having the second single be Bono singing in a hammy falsetto over a disco beat felt goofy too. But on deeper listen, the lyrics are actually quite heartbreaking: Inspired by the death of Bono’s mother (we’ll return to that topic soon), “Lemon” is all about how we use photos and film to try and grasp onto the past. But tragically, just watching home videos of a dead loved one can’t bring them back. Hence, Bono is “slipping, slipping under” and “feels like (he’s) holding onto nothing.” And if you want to, you can ignore the lyrics and just jam to the very-’90s dance beat. (although it really didn’t have to be seven minutes long...)

#58: “Silver and Gold” (Rattle And Hum): Bono and the gang bring plenty of righteous fury to this anti-apartheid track, even if there is an awkward moment in the middle where Bono rambles for a minute. But then Edge...uh... “plays the blues” (which apparently is code for SHREDDING), and he redeems his singer for halting the song’s momentum.

#57: “Rejoice” (October): Here’s a secret: If you can get through the repetitive filler tracks, October smuggles in some absolute new wave BANGERS. “Rejoice” is one of them.

#56: “Wake Up Dead Man” (Pop): If you’ve ever had the desire to hear Bono drop the F-bomb in a song, here you go. But beyond that odd moment, “Wake Up Dead Man” is notable for being possibly U2′s most depressing track. Pop was described by the band as “starting at a party and ending at a funeral,” and since this is the closing song...yeah, funereal is a good descriptor. Bono is essentially on his last legs, begging God to come and save an increasingly broken world, and it’s implied that God probably won’t step in. We’re all fucked. No wonder they wrote “Beautiful Day” and “Walk On” a few years later; U2′s moods couldn’t have gone anywhere but up from this.

#55: “Elvis Presley and America” (The Unforgettable Fire): Ever wonder what it would sound like if U2 took one of their songs, slowed it down dramatically, added some sparse guitars and then had Bono ramble over it for six and a half minutes? You’d get “Elvis Presley and America,” which I hated the first 20 times I heard it. Then things clicked, and now I think it’s a work of art. Still not sure how it wound up on a U2 album, though.

#54: “Dirty Day” (Zooropa): I have no clue what this song is about, but the nocturnal, alley-dwelling vibe sure sounds cool. If you squint at it right, it could totally be one of Pulp’s darker tracks, minus the heavy British accents.

#53: “Love Is Blindness” (Achtung Baby): Out of Achtung’s emotional final three songs, “Love Is Blindness” represents despondency. The gothic atmosphere captures the sad-sack feeling fairly well, but I’ve got to admit something painful: Jack White might have done it better. These are lyrics meant to be screamed, not whispered.

#52: “Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own” (Atomic Bomb): Here’s another dead-parent ballad, this time about Bono’s dad. It’s totally cheesy, but in a very endearing way that, if I’m in the right mood, might draw a few tears out.

#51: “Babyface” (Zooropa): It feels a bit wrong to put a slimy song about what sounds like virtual reality future porn (or something like that) over a very sincere ballad about the death of Bono’s father. ...but U2 pull off being creeps really, really well! It’s actually a bit concerning how well they pull it off here, but that slinky groove is just too hard to resist.

#50: “Tomorrow” (October): “Tomorrow” is Bono’s first song about one of his parents dying; In this case, it’s his mother. The Irish bagpipes were a nice touch, and of course, it ends as a raw, emotional tornado complete with a piercing Edge solo. Imagine if all of October was as fully-formed as this.

#49: “October” (October): The other notable ballad from October is its title track, where the album’s minimalism is intentional. Edge plays a sparse, gorgeous piano line, Bono waxes poetic for a little bit about the depressing nature of the fall, and Larry Mullen Jr. and Adam Clayton get a bathroom break. I wish U2 did more stripped-down piano songs like this.

#48: “Like A Song” (War): “Like A Song” obviously isn’t as furious as some of War’s highlights, but it’s certainly not a perky song either. I’m honestly shocked this anti-nationalist anthem isn’t a bigger fan favorite: There’s a lot of nervy energy here, and Bono’s lyrics are wonderfully bombastic.

#47: “Wire” (The Unforgettable Fire): Fun fact: “Wire” is so cool that it was featured in an episode of Miami Vice. Also, it’s one of, like, three songs on Unforgettable Fire that isn’t super-ambient and hazy, so it provides a nice energy boost.

#46: “Red Hill Mining Town” (The Joshua Tree): This mid-tempo slow-burner about the 1984 UK coal miners’ strike is most notable for being the only song from Joshua Tree that U2 had never performed live — until 2017′s Joshua Tree Tour, where they performed the album in full every show. Why did they avoid playing it live? Well, listen to that chorus. Hear the high notes Bono is clearly scraping to hit. It’s incredibly impressive and moving on record, but to do that every night would destroy his vocals. I’m shocked that I got to see it live myself, but it was just as intense as I’d hoped.

#45: “Seconds” (War): War is an album about politics written in the ‘80s, so it was pretty necessary to have a song about nuclear war. This one’s got a deceptively bouncy beat and ... wait, is that Edge singing the first verse?! "Seconds” gets bumped up a couple spots just for that alone. Also, fake-happy songs about nuclear war in general are great, just ask Nena.

#44: “Miami” (Pop): I was very, very tempted to place this higher. Out of all their ‘90s experimental tracks, “Miami” might be the most weird. Yeah, “Numb” is up there too, but at least that was catchy. “Miami,” meanwhile, features sunburnt Bono ramblings about their kitschy surroundings in the titular Florida city over what sounds like the soundtrack to a stalker. Adam and Larry’s rhythm is persistent and slowly grows louder and louder, until the climax, where everything explodes: Edge’s guitar cuts through the song like a machete and Bono is screaming “MIAAAAMI” like he’s on bath salts. Does it make any sense? Hell no. But that makes this very late-‘90s excursion all the better.

#43: “Hawkmoon 269″ (Rattle and Hum): One of Rattle and Hum’s few excursions into the blues that actually works, because it’s so raw. And how about that slow build?? Over six minutes, “Hawkmoon” goes from a quiet R&B groove to Bono nearly coughing up a lung because of his vocal wailings. And of course, it closes with a gospel choir. It’s so ridiculous that it works.

#42: “Kite” (Leave Behind): What’s sadder than a dead-parent song? How about a song about your parent dying slowly before your eyes? This gut-wrenching track about Bono’s father is a tear-jerker, even with its cringy, unrelated final verse (“The last of the rock stars/when hip-hop drove the big cars”...smh).

#41: “Zoo Station” (Achtung Baby): What’s that strange, aggressively-European noise? Why, it’s the sound of rock’s greatest reinvention taking place! Its ominous opening piano plinks (which is actually the Edge distorting his guitar...how, I don’t know), Larry and Adam’s krautrock backbeat and Bono’s filtered vocals are a huge breath of fresh air from the ~authentic~ sounds of Rattle and Hum. Perfect intro to a perfect album.

#40: “Desire” (Rattle and Hum): Of course, those ~authentic~ sounds can kick ass when executed correctly. Rattle and Hum’s first single is a primal blast of Bo Diddley rockabilly that comes in, rocks your face off, and gets out. In 1988, I’m sure “Desire” almost made R&H sound like a good idea at first. Also: HARMONICA SOLO!

#39: “Please” (Pop): “Please” is sort of the sadder, dejected cousin of “Sunday Bloody Sunday”: Both songs are about The Troubles in Northern Ireland, but while the latter is an angry, righteous call-to-arms, “Please” is begging for mercy. U2 were sick and tired of the atrocities committed in the name of nationalism or loyalism (especially by 1997, when the conflict had been going on for over 30 years), and this track is a desperate, Hail Mary prayer to the politicians to do something, anything, to stop it. By 1998, the Good Friday Agreement was signed a year later, mostly ending the violence, but “Please” stands as a time capsule of Ireland and Northern Ireland’s exhaustion.

#38: “One” (Achtung Baby): Behold: The most overrated U2 song! “One” is still a good ballad, but let’s not pretend it’s U2′s best song or anything. Musically, this is just an average rock mid-tempo ballad. There’s no goosebump-inducing moments like there are with U2′s best slow tunes; With “One,” you sort of sit there, listen to it, and go, “Hmm. That was nice.” And that’s exactly what it is: Nice. It’s got a nice melody, some admittedly great lyrics, and it’ll get stuck in your head a bit. But I find myself skipping it sometimes when going through Achtung to get to that album’s weirder and wilder tracks. Sorry, I’ve just never been able to connect — but I can at least see why it’s considered a classic.

#37: “40” (War): Ending U2′s angriest album with a hopeful prayer for peace and change (based off Psalm 40) was almost necessary. After the raging fury of War’s previous nine tracks, “40″ is a calming salvo with a simple melody that could’ve been written centuries ago.

#36: “Until The End of the World” (Achtung Baby): Role-playing as one of the Bible’s most infamous villains isn’t unheard of in rock (oh hi, Mick Jagger), but this sympathetic look at Judas still stands out thanks to a killer Edge riff and Bono effectively playing both a dirtbag and a repentant sinner. Definitely an overlooked track.

#35: “Mofo” (Pop): U2 goes full ‘90s techno! ...no, wait, please come back, it’s nearly as embarrassing as you’d expect. In fact, it’s quite amazing. This is arguably some of Adam and Larry’s best rhythm work here: That drum machine and synth bassline is laser-focused. But what really makes it work is Bono, trying to cut through the noise to find a connection with his dead mother. In a way, “Mofo” serves a similar purpose as “Lemon,” but the former steps it up on the production end. It’s crazy to think that just a decade before this, U2 were writing faux-country.

#34: “God Part II” (Rattle and Hum): Supposedly this is a sequel to John Lennon’s “God,” but besides a quick shot at Lennon biographer Albert Goldman, “God Part II” has little connection to the former Beatle. Instead, what we get is a caustic, seething tirade against ‘80s capitalism, fame and other random subjects that really stands out among the rose-colored nostalgia of Rattle and Hum. It borders on ridiculous, but Bono’s unconcealed anger makes “God Part II” legitimately great.

#33: “Walk On” (Leave Behind): To a lot of people, I’m sure “Walk On” represents U2′s 21st-century descent into cornball sentimentality and empty optimism. And although there’s a lot of modern U2 songs that fit those descriptors, lay off this one. “Walk On” is a goddamn classic that’s legitimately uplifting. Is it cheesy? Duh. Does that stop the song from filling me with warm fuzzies every time? Nope.

#32: “Two Hearts Beat as One” (War): "Two Hearts” has unfortunately been overshadowed by War’s other two singles, both of which deal with much, much weightier topics. Still, a post-punk banger is a post-punk banger.

#31: “Gone” (Pop): There isn’t another U2 song that describes the intoxicating rush and subsequent crash of fame better than “Gone.” Edge’s howling air-raid-siren guitar signifies regret just as well as Bono’s melancholy lyrics: “You’re taking steps that make you feel dizzy/until you learn to like the way it feels” is a powerful, succinct way of describing celebrity’s danger and addictiveness.

#30: “Running To Stand Still” (The Joshua Tree): Now we’ve reached the legitimately legendary tracks on Joshua Tree: the first five songs. “Running To Stand Still” is the most unassuming of that opening quintet, until you realize the song’s about slowly dying from heroin in a dingy Dublin flat. Suddenly, the quiet piano ballad turns from pretty to haunting. Near the end of the track, “Running” threatens to reach a righteous, inspiring U2-trademark climax — but it never does. Just like for those heroin addicts, there wasn’t an escape.

#29: “The Unforgettable Fire” (The Unforgettable Fire): Despite U2 being one of the ‘80s’ biggest bands, they never really fit that decade’s sound and aesthetic. There’s a reason why semi-contemporaries like Duran Duran and Bon Jovi are more associated with the Reagan years: They followed the trends, while U2 kinda did their own thing. But for “Unforgettable Fire,” U2 actually created a song that sounds super ‘80s. And it’s wonderful: Massive snare drum hits! Synthesizers! Abstract lyrics about nuclear war (it was inspired by an art exhibition featuring works from Japanese atomic bomb survivors)! Honestly, this could’ve been on a John Hughes movie soundtrack and fit right in — and that’s a high compliment.

#28: “The Electric Co.” (Boy): The best moments on U2′s first two albums are when they cut loose with loud, super-catchy new wave tracks that are shockingly danceable. “Electric Co.” is absolutely one of those songs. The lyrics are mere placeholders for Edge’s first true rock-god guitar solo and Larry Mullen Jr. providing a energized beat Franz Ferdinand would’ve killed for. In other words, it’s — wait for it — electric. (I’m so sorry)

#27: “Even Better Than The Real Thing” (Achtung Baby): The acidic desert-rock of “Even Better” feels absolutely effortless. You could play this in a club today, and it might kill; That’s how perfect this groove is. And nobody played a slimy lounge lizard better than circa-1991 Bono.

#26: “Bullet The Blue Sky” (The Joshua Tree): I’d hesitate to call “Bullet The Blue Sky” U2′s angriest song (there’s a pretty massive tune still to come that fits that bill), but it’s a close second. This fiery, nearly-metal (yes, really) track is four and a half minutes of white-hot fury directed at Ronald Reagan and the U.S. military for their interventions in El Salvador and Nicaragua. It’s odd to hear a band typically thought of as “safe” directly attack an at-the-time popular president, but it’s thrilling. And how about that deliciously hammy spoken-word ending?

#25: “Pride (In The Name Of Love)” (The Unforgettable Fire): Yep, we’re getting into the big boys now. “Pride,” as I’m sure you likely know, is U2′s tribute to Martin Luther King Jr., and it’s one of the band’s iconic hits for a good reason. This is where Edge really started to develop his iconic sound, and Bono’s wailing serves a purpose here, painting MLK as a messianic savior. You wouldn’t think four pasty kids from Dublin would make a great tribute to a black American civil rights icon, but shockingly, it’s a perfect fit. “Free at last, they took your life/but they could not take your pride.”

#24: “New Year’s Day” (War): Apparently, “New Year’s Day” is about the Polish Solidarity movement. But even for someone who knows very little about Poland’s political history (like me), it’s still a perfect post-punk song. Edge pulls double-duty with both a searing guitar solo and an iconic piano riff, and Bono cranks the melodrama up to 11. Nearly half of his lines here are nearly yelled in his reach-the-cheap-seats voice, and as someone who has seen U2 multiple times in the cheap seats, let me promise you: it works. Really well. (side note: blonde is really not your color, Bono)

#23: “Gloria” (October): Man, how amazing would October have been if more of the songs were as complete and perfect as “Gloria?” I don’t think you’ll hear another new wave track that indulges in heavily religious Latin phrases as this does, but it still bangs. I have no idea how, but it bangs. By the triumphant conclusion (after a rare Adam bass solo!), you’ll be dancing along to lyrics you’ve only heard before in a stuffy Catholic mass. Who said Christian rock has to suck?

#22: “Do You Feel Loved” (Pop): Okay, when I said we’re “getting into the big tracks,” that might have been a bit misleading. Of course there’s some deep cuts that I love more than the hits, and “Do You Feel Loved” is a perfect example. I can’t understand why people dismiss Pop when it has a song that arguably features U2′s greatest bass line (yes, seriously). Adam rules this song with his seductive groove, and the rest of the band falls in line to create one of U2′s smoothest and most psychedelic dance tracks.

#21: “MLK” (The Unforgettable Fire): U2 actually wrote two tributes to MLK on The Unforgettable Fire. This one is a lot more abstract and consists of Bono singing a soothing lullaby over ambient synths. It’s an absolutely gorgeous, minimalist track that’s the perfect album closer to U2′s most spaced-out album.

#20: “Beautiful Day” (Leave Behind): Sometimes I want to pretend that I’m too good for “Beautiful Day.” I mean, it’s totally the basic person’s favorite U2 song, right? Well, those feelings end as soon as I hit play, and before I know it, I’m singing along to every word. Seriously, if you don’t like “Beautiful Day,” you might need a hug.

#19: “The Wanderer” feat. Johnny Cash (Zooropa): Yes, you read that right. On U2′s most electronic-leaning album, they snagged a Johnny Cash feature. And it’s arguably the saddest song they’ve ever recorded. Cash takes over vocal duties here, crooning about leaving his lover against a post-apocalyptic backdrop. The synthetic production clashes with Cash’s old-fashioned vocals to create a truly memorable experience, and you’ll be left stunned and slightly dejected afterwards, just like the best Western ballads.

#18: “Mysterious Ways” (Achtung Baby): I can’t believe I’m going to say this: This U2 song is legitimately sexy. At the very least, this is an all-time great Edge guitar riff.

#17: “Elevation” (Leave Behind): Yes, this track is unforgivably stupid — but you try resisting its charms when you’re surrounded by an entire stadium bouncing up and down screaming along to that hook. Just don’t think about it. (also... why were they cross-promoting the single with Tomb Raider)

#16: “Vertigo” (Atomic Bomb): The rules for “Elevation” apply here, too. If I’m not too good for “Beautiful Day,” I’m certainly not too good for this. Let’s be real: We all love this song in all its beautifully silly glory. Give into the cheese. Ignore South Park. YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

#15: “Stay (Faraway, So Close!)” (Zooropa): One of the aspects of Zooropa that makes it such an underrated album is the layers of melancholy that lie beneath the robotic production. “Stay” brings that melancholy right to the forefront as a timeless ballad telling the story of post-breakup agony. A lot of U2′s ballads surge into something resembling hope, but “Stay” doesn’t fool you: This is a sad song. There’s no happy ending here. In fact, given the ending line about an angel hitting the ground, followed by an abrupt snare hit, it might end in suicide. “Stay” is the kind of song that Elvis could’ve killed, or Radiohead, or Adele; it’s that timeless in theme and melody. But Bono’s raw desperation in his vocals really sells it.

#14: “All I Want Is You” (Rattle and Hum): I guess this would be the hopeful flip of “Stay,” then. “All I Want Is You” is also a quiet acoustic ballad that ends up in Bono screaming out his lungs over a complicated relationship, but instead of despondent, this Rattle and Hum highlight feels triumphant. It’s the kind of track that you can picture closing an whirlwind romance film, the two lovers embracing in the sunset as Edge makes his guitar cry and Bono shreds his vocal cords. “All I Want Is You” might not be U2′s best power ballad, but it might be its most romantic.

#13: “I Will Follow” (Boy): U2 were all teenagers when they wrote “I Will Follow,” and it shows. The first track off of U2′s first album bursts out of the gate with unbridled youthful energy. The relentless post-punk groove only lets up for a second, as Bono rambles off some nonsense-but-somehow-cool lines about eyes, then BAM! Full throttle again. Outside of perhaps the Arctic Monkeys, MGMT and R.E.M., I’m not sure there are many bands with better introductions to the world than this. (also lol @ half the band looking like middle schoolers in the music video)

#12: “Zooropa” (Zooropa): “Zooropa,” the song, is very different than the rest of its identically-titled album. Most of Zooropa (the album) is about how technology can’t mask humanity’s despair and loneliness. But for its beautiful, magnificent title track, U2′s vision of a sardonic, aggressively commercialized future seems utopian.

“Zooropa” (the song) is an epic in three parts: It begins with a spooky piano riff, coupled with incessant noise pollution for two minutes. Then, the Edge’s slippery guitar riff calls from the distance, like a beacon, and it leads into Bono and the gang calmly spouting off advertising slogans for two minutes (yes, really). It feels overly polished...until the final third, when all chaos breaks loose and the band gives themselves into the confusion.

A giant swirl of synthesizers and guitars encircle Bono, as he repeatedly states that yes, he is clueless and lost, but he’s still hopeful for the future. And “Zooropa” makes the future sound tenatively wonderful. As Bono puts it, “Don’t worry baby/It’ll be alright/Uncertainty can be a guiding light.” “Zooropa” captures that optimistic early-’90s, post-Berlin Wall moment better than almost any song.

#11: “City Of Blinding Lights” (Atomic Bomb): When people talk about “The U2 Sound,” this is probably what they’re talking about. The chorus of “City Of Blinding Lights” is so powerful that it can’t legally be played in an indoor setting — all the glass would shatter. Seeing U2 perform it live is a spiritual experience: Edge’s guitar soars to the sky, tens of thousands of fans are yelling along to the “oooh-oh-ooooh” background, and Bono only needs to shout six words to cement “Blinding Lights” as an all-time U2 great. It’s admittedly one of the more sanitized songs about New York City, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t moving.

#10: “Where The Streets Have No Name” (The Joshua Tree): “Streets” might not quite be U2′s best song, but it’s easily their best live track. All three times I’ve seen them (sorry for the humblebrag), there’s no bigger reaction from the audience than when everything goes quiet, an organ warms up, and the only thing you can see on stage is a blinding red light. It’s a magical moment.

There’s no other U2 song that reaches to the rafters quite like “Streets” does. In fact, based on the driving rhythm and Bono’s lyrics about persistence and escape, it’s basically U2′s version of “Born to Run,” and that might be one of the highest compliments I can give a song. The Edge’s chugging riff here sounds like driving into the desert sunrise, trying to reach heaven. And they actually do it.

"Streets” is so perfect and so adored, I almost feel a little guilty not putting it at number one. Unfortunately, the studio version (although still excellent) pales in comparison to seeing it live, which knocks it a bit. Still — everyone should see U2 live at least once, just to witness the glory of this song. It’ll give you goosebumps, guaranteed.

#9: “Discotheque” (Pop): This is not a joke. I legitimately think “Discotheque” — one of U2′s most infamous flops and an instant punchline of a track that featured a music video where the band danced in costume as the Village People in a giant disco ball (yes, really) — is one of U2′s very best songs. I promise I’m not trolling here.

In middle school, when I was making my way through U2′s catalogue, I didn’t have high expectations for Pop, due to its rank reputation. But alas: that lead-off track grabbed me immediately with its seamless blend of distorted ‘90s alt-rock and (obviously) disco. I knew that I should probably like songs like “One” or “Pride” more, but I couldn’t stop myself from listening to “Discotheque.” Bono was right: I couldn’t get enough of that lovey-dovey stuff.

Lyrically, this track is absolutely meaningless. Bono merely serves as another addition to the rhythm, which might be U2 at their best. I’m not sure there’s another rock-band-attempting-dance-music song better than this, because Larry Mullen Jr.’s primal rhythm is absolutely hypnotic — not that Edge’s swirling guitar doesn’t help. If “Streets” feels like ascending into Americana heaven, “Discotheque” is the glorious, hedonistic descent into ‘70s-kitsch hell. And I love every stupid, delirious second of it. Sue me.

#8: “Bad” (The Unforgettable Fire)

Plenty of artists have an album cut that’s become more beloved among diehard fans than even some of their most popular hits. The Beatles have “In My Life.” Billy Joel has “Vienna.” Even a singles-centric pop artist like Taylor Swift has “All Too Well.”

What’s U2′s most beloved deep cut? “Bad,” and it’s probably not close. And this Unforgettable Fire highlight is legendary for a reason: It’s arguably the most intense, epic U2 song of them all. I’ve said many times on this list that I love when Bono cuts loose with his vocals, and he’s never more raw than he is when “Bad” finally reaches its pinnacle after a tantalizing slow-burn. Every time he screams into the void, “I’M WIIIIIIIDE AWAAAAAKE,” his voice cracking with desperation and loss, it sends shivers.

It’s shocking that a band whose members mostly stayed away from hard drugs would write one of the best heroin songs of all time, but that’s exactly what “Bad” is. Instead of focusing on the high of the drug, it focuses on the severe overdose and the horrors that come with addiction. Despite being a non-user, Bono somehow nails those dark emotions, and it makes “Bad” all the more memorable.

#7: “Out Of Control” (Boy)

This is the pinnacle of that youthful U2 sound from their first two albums. “Out of Control” sounds like pure teenage angst, a vibe that these guys don’t typically cover.

But it’s not Bono’s lyrics, as wonderfully whiny and emo as they are here, that sell this early classic: It’s that unstoppable groove. Larry and Adam lay down a forceful, tight four-on-the-floor beat that is instantly workout-ready, and Edge’s triumphant guitar riff (and stellar solo) doesn’t fit the lyrics that well, but it certainly gets me hyped. All Bono had to do was bring the energy, and he’s as theatrical here as ever. Switch up some of the instrumentation and add some pop culture references and this easily could’ve been the greatest Fall Out Boy song ever written (I mean that in the very best way possible).

#6: “The Fly” (Achtung Baby)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: the ballsiest move in rock music history.

Going straight from the AARP-friendly sound of Rattle and Hum directly into their sleazy, nihilistic masterpiece, “The Fly,” must have been a massive shock for U2′s fans in 1991. After all, the band did aptly describe Achtung Baby’s lead single as “the sound of four men chopping down The Joshua Tree.” And as far as burning your legacy to the ground goes, you can’t really do better than “The Fly.”

Bono is wonderfully hammy as the song’s titular character, a greaseball making a crank call from a payphone in Hell, spouting false nothings and seducing the listener, not unlike a Screwtape for the ‘90s. The way he switches between the breathy verses and his exaggerated dance-diva falsetto in the chorus is seamless.

But let’s not forget Edge’s contribution here: “The Fly” features his all-time best guitar solo. It goes down to the depths of the underworld and then contorts itself into a psychedelic, hypnotic kaleidoscope of sound. It’s truly breathtaking, and his sharp riff that repeats throughout really enhances the song’s dark tone.

“The Fly” might not have sold too well in the U.S. — clearly we didn’t like our U2 singles to be this snarky. And it’s never really had the same shelf life as Achtung’s more successful singles. But it’s still the pinnacle of the dark, sardonic vision U2 had for their incredible reinvention, and I wish all artists were willing to take risks this insane.

#5: “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” (The Joshua Tree)

One of two #1 U.S. hits that U2 notched, “Still Haven’t Found” is one of those songs that feels like it was written centuries ago. Maybe it was even composed by a caveman. It’s such a simple song musically (in a good way), yet with a complex lyrical bent.

I love the way that “Still Haven’t Found” approaches Christianity. Too much contemporary Christian music seems to be overly positive and cheery — an outsider would get the impression that finding Jesus means life has no problems. Meanwhile, U2, who are famously Christian, don’t shy away from the hard truth: Finding faith doesn’t fix your problems.

Throughout the song, Bono aches and yearns for relief from his suffering, yet despite all of the divine things he’s seen and encountered, he still can’t find that satisfaction. There’s still something missing. As a Christian who sometimes struggles in his faith and can be alienated by certain religious peoples’ outward displays of perfection, it’s a relief for me to hear that others struggle in this way too.

All in all, it’s hard to believe that four guys from Ireland would create a gospel classic in the age of hair metal, but “Still Haven’t Found” is a timeless track that tackles tough emotions in a stirring way.

#4: “A Sort Of Homecoming” (The Unforgettable Fire)

Unforgettable Fire’s best song is its opening thesis. “A Sort Of Homecoming” features that oh-so Brian Eno white noise background throughout and, frankly, perfects it. The guitar, bass and some scattered synths all melt into a hazy soundscape that sounds like pure fog. All you have to do is throw on some tribal Larry Mullen Jr. drum licks and have Bono scream through the void, and you’ve got an ambient-rock classic on your hands.

There’s something so powerful about this song, even though I have absolutely no clue what it’s supposed to be about. Obviously, Bono is talking about some sort of long, trudging journey home, and “Homecoming” certainly sounds like a great road-trip soundtrack. But what makes it work is that looping, endless production and Bono’s piercing wails. “No spoken words, JUST A SCREAAAAAAAAAAM” might be when U2 cemented their legacy as a legendary stadium act. Of course, they never play this song live anymore, because it wasn’t a single, but I still think it would kill. Criminally underrated track.

#3: “Sunday Bloody Sunday” (War)

This is the greatest drum beat in rock history. I will fight anyone who disagrees.

The gunshot-crack of the snare drum that incessantly pokes its way into “Sunday Bloody Sunday” is the perfect fit for this righteously angry, seething post-punk song. That snare drum military beat is the exact moment when the world realized that these Dublin kids were going to be around for a long, long time.

The definitive song about The Troubles (sorry, “Zombie,” you can take second place), “Sunday Bloody Sunday” is iconic for a reason. Bono declines taking any stance in the conflict accept the stance of ending the conflict itself. He could care less about one side or the other: All he sees is the bloody corpses littered throughout Northern Ireland. And he’s had enough.

The studio version and the 1983 Red Rocks recording (with the white flag) are the most iconic moments associated with “Sunday,” but I prefer the live version from the Rattle and Hum movie. It was recorded hours after an IRA bombing in Northern Ireland killed 11 people, and Bono loses all filter.

In a rant in the middle of the song, as the band provides a fierce backbeat, Bono exclaims: “I’ve had enough of Irish-Americans who haven’t been home in 20 or 30 years talk about ... the glory of the revolution, and the glory of dying for the revolution. FUCK THE REVOLUTION! They don’t talk about the glory of killing for the revolution.” A minute later, he’s repeatedly bleating, “NO MORE!” It’s a chilling moment, and I’d recommend that any U2 naysayer watch it.

"Sunday Bloody Sunday” is U2 in full fire-and-brimstone mode, and despite The Troubles thankfully ending years ago, the War track’s unbridled rage still provokes a nerve today.

#2: “Ultra Violet (Light My Way)” (Achtung Baby)

I’ve gone on and on about how much I love the sleazy, dejected vibe of Achtung Baby in this list. ...but man, there’s something so powerful about that album’s exception to the rule. Out of all the trashy Euro jams and weepy breakup songs on that album, its best song, “Ultra Violet,” stands out for being a joyful, ecstatic expression of pure love.

Lots of Achtung focuses on The Edge’s divorce, so it’s refreshing to hear a five-and-a-half minute arena rock anthem about how much Bono absolutely worships his wife. And I mean that literally — he sounds totally desperate and over-his-head here, completely taken over by passion and dependency. In that final verse, when Bono takes his vocals up a scale and his voice constantly cracks, it’s a painfully powerful moment.

"Ultra Violet” is about love that’s so powerful that it’s no longer about attraction. It’s about unfiltered happiness and need. And despite the fact that it’s honestly a pretty simple song, its sheer power and optimism makes it my all-time favorite U2 deep cut. No question.

#1: “With Or Without You” (The Joshua Tree)

This song floored me the first time I heard it in middle school. It still floors me over a decade later. Based on its cross-generational iconic status (that strangely, I might have to thank Friends for), I’m sure it floors most of you too.

“With Or Without You” is the kind of song that will last forever, because not only does it have a timeless sound that connects with even the most staunch U2 hater, but also because it has possibly the greatest slow build in music history. It starts as a whisper at the beginning, and slowly, slowly, slowly dials up the volume. At one point you the band even teases you — you think it’s going to hit that big release, and nope! More tension.

Finally, over three minutes in, the drums kick into high gear and Bono lets loose his cannon of a voice into the night. The catharsis hits you like a sledgehammer right in the feelings. I’m not sure the words “OOHHH OHHHH OHHHH OHHH” have ever had more meaning. And just because U2 hasn’t spoiled us enough, they close out the song with a stunning coda that wordlessly expresses the song’s themes of yearning and conflicted passion.

Yes, Bono’s lyrics are top-notch here as well — this is the ultimate “is it about God or a girl?” song — and I do love his use of dark imagery to sell the sacrifices he’s made in the name of love. But that slow build is the stuff of dreams. Based on one five-minute song, there’s probably millions of bands across the world that formed (I can name at least one group that owes quite a bit to “With Or Without You”).

So the next time you groan about those old Irish dudes who forced some crappy late-career album onto your phone, do yourself a favor and listen to “With Or Without You.” Don’t pause it or skip to the chorus. Just play through and let the whirlwind of emotions hit you. And then you’ll see why U2 have earned their spot at the top of the world.

#u2 #In ascending order #best U2 songs #classic rock #alternative rock

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