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#I got to be an adult and have a life and stuff. Im so normal about this!!! for a reason!! hahahahaAAAA

dckweed · 3 months

Text

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman

in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.

warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play.

okay don't ask how i got this out so fast, im literally so fuckin obsesessed with this series right now.

series masterlist here, series playlist here.

PART THREE: the weekend

thursday.

“What in the hell did you put me up to?” Gator’s voice rings out across the barn a couple of hours later. You wince, hearing the anger swirling under the tense tone as his footsteps thunk closer to you across the wooden floor. You’re still facing Bubbles, trying to get her untacked but it’s not easy when you don’t have a step ladder, you didn’t check if there was one in the trailer when you left and you didn’t feel right going snooping around the Tillman barn, afraid it might get you in trouble.

“It’s just a few days,” You roll your eyes, grateful that he can’t see you because something tells you that the Tillman didn’t take kindly to bratty behavior like eye rolling. Not married yet or not, you were pretty much belonged to Gator now in the eyes of society in Stark County, nobody would bat an eye if he reprimanded you for it. “And i put us up to it, genius.”

“Well gee, Pearl, you could have fuckin’ consulted me first, dontcha think?” He’s right next you in the stall now, his much larger hands moving yours out of the way as he could actually see over the top of your horse to undo all of her stuff. “Why the hell would i want to spend my weekend babysitting my sisters?”

You scoff, turning to face him with your hands on your hips. You roll your eyes again and you know he sees you as his eyes narrow. “Ya know what asshole, you’re fuckin’ right!” You say, not going to put up with any of his damn attitude. “I shoulda slid right off my horse, left your daddy right out there in the field and come find you just to ask if it was okay.” He opens his mouth to retaliate, or maybe to tell you off for cursing at him or getting cross with him. “I may be younger than you but i’m still an adult, Gator, i’m gonna be your wife not your fuckin’ kid, don’t ever expect me to wait and ask your fuckin’ permission to do shit unless it’s necessary. That isn’t how this is goin’ to work.”

He doesn’t say anything but pulls the saddle off of the horse with a huff and you turn on your heel, leading her out of the stall and out to the trailer. Gator stands in the stall for a moment after you’ve gone, listening to the clip clop of the horses hooves as you guys go. He closes his eyes for a second, readjusting the weight of your heavy ass saddle before guiltily following you along. You weren’t wrong, he was being an asshole. He hated being wrong, and he hated apologizing even more but he couldn’t let you go around stomping your feet and being mad at him all damn weekend, something told him that probably wasn’t in his best interest. And besides, he did actually feel bad for snapping at you like that, you didn’t deserve it. He did like seeing you get all riled up like that though, the storm that started brewing in your eyes..it was a nice change from your normally friendly and people pleasing personality. He liked that you obviously knew how to stand up for yourself too.

The door of the trailer was open by the time he had finally meandered his way out of the barn, and he can hear you getting the horse settled into it. He makes quick work of putting the saddle into the back of your Jeep, closing the door and making his way to the trailer. He watches you, one arm braced against the metal door as his eyes follow your movements. You pat your horse on her long nose and then turn around, hands on your hips as you step down onto the ground of the driveway.

You’re staring up at him expectantly, chewing your plump bottom lip with your hands on your hips. It took all the will power he never knew he had not to put his thumb on your fucking mouth, stopping you from what you surely couldn’t have realized was a surprisingly sinful act. He licks his chapped lips, looking off to the side before sighing. “I’m sorry for bein’ an asshole.” He says quietly, brown eyes searching your face for any sort of reaction. “I shouldn’t have snapped at ya like that..”

Your face softens and something close to a smile graces the corners of your mouth as you push his chest lightly, your hands no longer defensively on your hips. “Apology accepted.” You say, meaning it. You had forgiven him the moment you had snapped at him too, you knew he was just as new to this whole situation as you were, you guys were still learning one another, that wasn’t any excuse to be yelling at each other but it was a reason to never let it happen again without at least trying to talk first. “But i’m not sorry for snappin’ back at you. You deserved it.”

He laughs, a genuine, hearty sound coming from his throat and brings a hand up to muss your hair as he helps you close up and lock the trailer. “Alright..suppose we better go get that lunch you were talkin’ about earlier and then go pack up your stuff for the weekend.” The sun was fully up now, and even though it was only nine thirty in the morning, and he had all of an hour and a half of sleep under his belt, he was ready for lunch with you, and he was ready to get his dad and his wife out of the fuckin’ house so he could maybe relax just a little bit, maybe get a few more hours of sleep..

After a small squabble about who’s going to drive the Jeep you’re pulling up to the curb of Gator’s favorite diner in town, and he’s letting out a breath of relieved air as he steps foot on the ground.

“Oh stop bein’ so dramatic!” You laugh walking side by side with him up to the door of the busy diner. He had spent the whole ten minute drive with one hand braced on the back of your seat and the other braced on the dash, telling you to slow down or to not hit your brakes so damn hard or to stop taking corners so fast and sharp with a damn horse trailer attached to you. You rolled your eyes after every comment, but found them more and more endearing as you heard the actual fear in his voice. That wasn’t the first time a boy had been scared to be in your passenger seat before.

“Stop bein’ such a bad fuckin’ driver!” He retaliates, brown eyes wide as he holds open the door of the diner for you, you cackle and duck under his arm, breathing in his cologne and the smell of that damn fruity ass vape that he keeps puffing on. “You’re a menace to the road, Pearl, i swear!”

He hears you mocking him and pushes the back of your head gently as the two of you find an empty space in the busy restaurant, a booth in the back corner next to windows where the light shines in. He insists on taking the side of the booth that faces the rest of the diner, wanting to have a good view of any potential danger (though he doesn't tell you that).

A friendly waitress sidles up to the table as the two of you settle, you giggling after he mutters something more about your driving. “Mornin’ Gator, miss.” She says, nodding at the two of you. She’s plump and motherly, her hair brown and curly. You can tell from the smile on her face that she clearly knows the boy across the table from you. “Coffee for you, hon?”

“Yes Ma’am,” Gator nods, one of the friendliest looks you’d seen in your whole short time of knowing him on his face as he looked up at her, his brown eyes filled with warmth you hadn’t seen towards anyone before. “And..i’m feeling lunchy today, how about a patty melt and fries, please?” You realized he must come here pretty often if the waitress knew his coffee order, and he didn’t need a menu to order.

“You got it Gator,” She says warmly, turning to you next. “And for your..friend?”

“Fiance, actually.” He says before you have the chance to speak, you’re stunned for a moment and so is the woman. This is the first time anyone outside of your families and the people directly involved with the wedding planning had been told that you guys were technically engaged, your face flushes as the realization and the weight of the title actually being out in the open for the first time.

You can tell that she wants to ask more questions by the furrow in her brow and the hesitation before she clears her throat, but she thankfully doesn’t pry any farther. “And for your fiance?”

You give a sheepish smile, that quickly turns to a deep rooted frown when the friendly woman tells you that they don’t stock flavored coffee creamers, or serve iced coffee. “Dr. Pepper then,” You say, the smile returning back to your face as Gator makes a mental note to stop by the local coffee shop for you on the way back to the Augastine ranch. “And I’ll do chicken tenders, with fries please!”

She gives a smile and says she’ll be back soon, as soon as she gone Gator cracks up laughing at you. “What?” You pout, and he only shakes his head at you, causing your pout to deepen. “It’s not nice to laugh at people, is there dirt on my face? Gator!” The way you whined his name struck a different kind of chord in him and he quickly stopped laughing, shaking his head as he situated himself in his seat.

He knew most men would have found the whining annoying but it was clear you didn’t do it on purpose, and it sent a tingle down his spine when you said his name like that. “Flavored coffee creamer?” You roll your eyes and kick him under the table, which only makes him laugh more.

You had to admit, you liked how young and happy it made his face look when he laughed, and you wished he would do more of it.

A couple of hours tick by as the two of you sit in your cozy little booth in the diner, eating and bickering and laughing at each other as customers come and go around you. He was sweet in his own rugged, rough way, your own personal diamond in the rough. You didn’t mind, it just meant you could have fun chipping away at him and softening him up around the edges. The more you got to know him over the past week, the more you started to think that maybe this marriage thing wouldn’t be so horrible. You could both learn to love each other over the years, and who knows, maybe you would fall in love in the way that all those people in the movies did. You had always wanted a silver screen romance..

Gator pays for the both of you before you can even dig your credit card out of your stupid little purse, which causes you to pout. “Hey, I was the one that asked you to come eat!” You argued and boy just sighs, giving you a pointed look that clearly said to shut the fuck up. You pout but don’t push on the matter, letting him steal the Jeep keys off of the table top as you slide off of your fluffy, overstuffed bench.

“Alright, lets go pick up your stuff for the weekend and drop your trailer off,” He had work tonight again and he was hoping to get a couple extra hours of sleep in before his father left. The nights were always longer when he was tired, but he wasn’t going to complain. Gator loved his job.

You follow him through the crowded diner, staying right underfoot. You hadn’t realized before but people were staring at the two of you, it made your cheeks flush when eyes bored into you as you walked and nervously, you grab onto the back of his shirt. He stiffens beneath your touch, and cranes his neck to look at you, eyebrows furrowed under the brim of his hat. “People are staring.” You whisper, he purses his lips and looks around before shrugging as you get closer to the door. “Why are they staring?” You weren’t used to attention like that, and you were afraid that somehow it would get back to Boyd that you were here with Gator and you would somehow get in trouble for it, fiance or not.

“Because i’m the Sheriff’s son, and this is the first time i’ve been out in public with my fiance.” He says, as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. “Sherry probably went and spread the word while we were eating, it’s no big deal Pearlie, the whole town was gonna find out one way or another.” He pushes the door of the diner open with one hand, and with the other he grabs your hand off the back of his shirt, using his grip to push you in front of him out the door.

“I figured they would have done an announcement in the paper or somethin’ by now.” You mutter, hands in your pockets as you walk side by side to the jeep with him. You don’t argue when he opens the passenger side door for you, but you do give him a shit eating grin as you step up onto the running boards to climb in.

“Yeah, well, they’re probably leaving that up to us too.” He mutters as he closes your door and quickly walks around the front end. You thought it was rather sweet of him, opening the doors for you, but you wouldn’t say anything, you didn’t want to freak him out. He wastes no time in pulling away from the diner, casually driving your car with one hand while the other rested on the gear shift on the center console.

You studied his hand, how much bigger than the gear shift knob it was, you could barely fit your own around it but his smothered it, leaving no trace of it under his palm. His thick fingers tensing and untensing around it, as if he were squeezing it like a stress ball. You bite your lip, looking up as the car comes to a stop and he throws it in park. “What are we doing?” You ask, noticing him lifting his ass out of the seat out of the corner of his eye, shoving his hand in his pocket.

“You ask a lot of questions, you know?” He quips, grabbing a twenty dollar bill out of his wallet holding it out towards you. You simply stare at it, and then lift your big ass, curious eyes to stare at him. He sighs, sagging against the seat. “Go in and get your damned flavored coffee, felt bad they didn’t have it at the diner..”

You feel your cheeks start to flush, and though you were tempted to argue and tell him he didn’t need to stop, you felt yourself unbuckling your seatbelt because that was just too damn sweet. You start to get out of the car, grabbing your purse when he clicks his tongue at you, shoving his hand at you again. You decide it’s best not to argue, you don’t want to annoy him anymore than you clearly already do without meaning to, you take it, using the grip on his hand to pull him across the console. You kiss his cheek sweetly, pulling away with a smile. “Thank you..” You say, turning and jumping from the Jeep as quickly as you could without hurting yourself.

Gator is stunned by the show of affection, his neck flushed red from the interaction. He shakes his head, fighting back the smile on his face by putting his vape to his mouth as he watches you happily skip into the fucking coffee shop. “She’s gonna be the death of me..” He grumbles to himself, running a hand down his face after breathing out the fruity flavored vape that he filled his lungs with.

You’re grateful that he’s with you when you go home because you can sense Boyd’s mood before you can see him, the house is still and quiet, the girls off at school for the day, the nanny is not needed until this afternoon. You walk through the front door with Gator laughing about the way he had narrowly avoided a hoof to his head when he was walking with Bubbles, you giggle at him as he exaggerates the scene that you had had your back turned to, shaking your head as you start for the stairs.

“Where have you been?” His voice is cold and sends a shiver down your spine. You stop in your tracks, one hand on the bannister and turn to face him. You don’t dare look at him, but you put a complacent smile on your face nonetheless. You can feel Gator behind you, his hands sliding into his pockets much like they were on the first time he had been to your so-called home.

“I was on that ride with Roy,” You say, calling Gator’s father by his name, he tenses behind you at the mention of the man, and you’re tempted to glance up at him and offer him a comforting smile. “And we got to talking about the wedding and what not and how i would like his girls to be in it, and he thought it would be a great idea,” You’re starting to babble, and you begin to worry that your words aren’t making any sense because of the way that his face changes. “So now Gator and I are here to pack up a bag for me because we’re going to be watching his sisters while their parents are gone for the weekend..”

“We stopped and got an early lunch first,” Gator steps in, you feel his hand on your lower back and it brings a sense of calmness to you for some strange reason. “She was hungry..sorry, i shoulda had her call you or somethin’ didn’t mean to make you worry, Sir..”

Boyd is quiet for a long beat, his jaw ticking like it does when he’s angry and trying not to show it. You swallow back your fear knowing that you’re safe with Gator here.

“When will you be back?” He narrows his cold eyes at you, they hold no emotion other than the contempt that you know he feels for you, and that makes you nervous for what you’ll endure when you come home Monday afternoon, but grateful for the time you’ll have away.

“I’ll be back Monday afternoon, after his parents come home.” You say, tired of the conversation and no longer wanting to be involved. You turn and start heading up the stairs, knocking Gator’s hand from your back as you leave without being dismissed, something you’re sure you’ll hear about next week. “See you then.”

Gator is quick to follow behind, giving your step father a friendly smile as he clambers up the stairs behind you. “What was that all about?” He asks in a hushed voice as he follows onto the second floor landing.

You shake your head and walk past your sisters’ room and farther on to yours, locking the door behind you. You don’t notice the way Gator’s eyebrows pinch when he notices you’ve barricaded yourselves in the room by locking it.

“He’s an asshole.” Is all you say, shrugging off the encounter before heading to your closet to find your suitcase.

When you come out you see Gator with his hands in his pockets again, looking around your bedroom, the one area of the house that was completely and utterly you. Pink and red accents, white frilly lace..teddy bears and fluffy pillows and blankets..the room was so..you. He had gotten his attention caught to a smattering of photo frames on your big white dresser, all of them held you in them, smiling that big beautiful smile of yours (sometimes it would be reaching your eyes, lighting them up happily, but most times it wasn’t), all of them held different people, your sisters mostly, and whom he assumed was a friend from school, a tall brunette with killer legs in a bikini with her arms around you. There was another guy in the photo too that he tried not to be jealous of, but he had his arm around your waist and was grinning down at the two of you as you guys stood on a dock in front of a boat. He loved how happy you looked there in that moment, like your mind wasn’t laden with such heavy burdens like planning a wedding you were legally bound to, or dealing with a clearly tense situation with your step father. His favorite picture though, was one of you and an older woman, your mama, he assumed. You were laughing in the photo a mess of birthday cake frosting smeared across your cheek and some pink tinsel in your hair. The silver balloons behind you said ‘15’.

“That’s my mama..” You said, sliding up behind him. He jumps, slightly scared. “That’s the only picture i have left of her..Boyd has all the rest, wont let me see ‘em. I think they’re up in the attic somewhere.” You sniff a little, trying not to cry as you turn away, hands on your hips. “Right, lets get this stuff together.”

After about an hour or so you’ve stuffed the whole suitcase with more clothes than you really need for an entire weekend, Gator had lightened the mood by teasing you when you tried to hide your panties and bras as you packed them, telling you it’s not like he hadn’t seen any before, and he would be seeing yours for the foreseeable future, and then making you laugh at his genuine confusion at your array of shampoos and body washes in the your shower.

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re one of those 3 in 1 off the shelf at the grocery store kinda guys..” You laugh, looking at him looking at the four different bottles of soaps in his hands. “Please tell me you use something that costs more than ten dollars on your hair! It’s too pretty not to use cheap crap!” You hadn’t really meant to call his hair pretty out loud, but it really was pretty, you couldn’t deny it.

He doesn’t mention it though and instead looks up at you bewildered. “Are you tellin’ me you spent more than twenty dollars on all this crap combined?” He asks, completely in awe. “Oh my god Pearlie, please tell me you’re not gonna be breakin’ my bank on fuckin’ shampoo- it’s shampoo!”

The two of you burst out in laughter after a moment and you deemed it best not to tell him how much you spent on hair care quite yet, afraid that he would have an aneurysm if you did. He’s gentlemanly enough to help you carry the suitcase back out to the Jeep.

He even carries it into his daddy’s house for you, and up the stairs where he shows you his bedroom. He tosses the case unceremoniously onto his bed, where it bounces. You look around for a moment, eyebrows raised as you take in the scenery. It was messier than you had imagined, but it smelled so much like him and his damn vape that you couldn’t help but to take a deep breath of air. The room wasn’t too big, and his queen sized bed took up most of the space, the rest of it littered with his clothes on the floor and posters on the wall..you noticed some trophies on a shelf that you would have to ask about later.

“It’s not much, and it’s usually not so messy..” He says, you think he might be a little embarrassed by the red flush of his cheeks. “I’m sorry you have to sleep in here with me, but it’s better than the couch or crashing on the floor in the girls’ room..”

“I don’t mind, Gator..” You say, giving him a little smile as you turn to face him. “It’s a fuckin’ pig stye though.” You laugh and he follows suit, nodding along with you. You had a pretty good idea of what you would be doing to keep yourself busy while Jessica and Maude were at school tomorrow, or until they would come home this afternoon.

The rest of the early afternoon was spent with Karen giving you a run down of the girls’ schedules and how to feed them and dress them. Something about the woman irritated you to your core, maybe it was the way she clearly held nothing but disdain for her step son, or maybe it as the way that she spoke to you like you were stupid and couldn’t possibly be capable of taking care of her children, either way, it made your eye start to twitch the more you thought about it.

You were grateful when Roy seemed to have finally had enough of hanging around after he had dutifully packed their bags into his old chevy and got a little snappy with his wife, who quickly scurried out of the door. He gave you a friendly squeezed of your shoulder, his giant hand engulfing your shoulder, before mentioning something to Gator in hushed tones that seemed to only upset the boy as his voice turned tense and cold and his back stiffened like it did earlier in the day.

The house was quiet once the door shut, creepily quiet once the old Chevy had meandered it’s way out of the gates of the house and down the road of the ranch. You stood in the doorway of the kitchen, not quite sure what to do with yourself as you kept your eyes on your fiance. He’s watching out the windows next to the door, his back muscles still tense. You wondered if he would be upset with you if you asked what his father had said, if you asked if he was okay. You decide against it though. “Gator?” You ask, your voice soft, small and quiet. He hums in response, hands on his hips as he glances back at you. “Shouldn’t we go pick up the girls?” You noticed it was nearing time for school for your own sisters to be out, and while Gator’s went to a private christian school you figured they probably had the same start and out times as your sisters’ school. “It’s almost three..”

“Yeah..” He runs a hand down his face, clearing his throat. “Yeah, let’s get going.”

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bonefall · 6 months

Note

First off, obviously this is a WC blog so I won't go further but THANKS for the brief dunk of The Lion Guard, that's one of my biggest problems with the show. Second off, are you seeing this shit Elder Bones?! * Points at the Thunder Spoiler Thread at WCRPForums * Do try to avoid reading the posts that aren't chapters though, they're bad as usual for that site lol.

Maybe one day I'll grumble about Lion King on the side blog lmao.

Anyway... that spoiler thread. I try to take these threads with a pinch of salt, but... overall feelings are really getting negative. If I had a Vibes Barometer, the needle would be dipping out of positive right now.

We're 2 books away from the conclusion and I don't know if they have time to turn this around... and they chose to spend time traveling. It's partially a travel book, guys. Several chapters of pointless bullshit.

(Spoilers under the cut-- remember we are getting this secondhand from a spoiler thread. Some of this may turn out to be misrepresentation.)

NIGHTHEART STUFF

We start off where the preview left off. They jerk the shit out of your chain with Squirrelstar teasing but spoiler we DO got her

(CELEBRATORY SQUIRRELSTAR MUSIC)

We get a BrambleSquirrel screaming match. Please for the love of god divorce these characters, this is fucking insufferable

They also had to give Bramblestar a smug little gotcha moment where he's right about his argument, Squilf accidentally walks to SkyClan camp for the plot and it turns out that Bramblestar, the guy who was apparently supposed to have memory issues and brain fog, was right that Squilf forgot how to navigate her own territory

Im dead serious she like... accidentally walked to SkyClan.

This is a clever literary trick called bad writing <3

While they're there, Nightheart says, "HEY WASNT THERE A MEDIATOR THINGY? ISNT HE SUPPOSED TO SOLVE DISPUTES?"

*I look directly into the camera. Right at you. Reader I am glimpsing across the magical threads of the internet, directly into your soul.*

Leafstar

says

"I Forgor"

if this thread is to be believed. Then the canonical explanation for why Tree was not mediating up to this point. Is because every single cat around the lake. Including the geniuses who came up with a unique role JUST for the specialest little boy. Just fucking forgot about him.

(bestselling young adult series)

Do I laugh? Do I cry?

I think im unlocking the emotion that those lizards who shoot blood from their eyes feel just before a squirt

Anyway

There is also an absurd amount of Bramblestar winking at Nightheart and teasing him about his new mate and reminding the audience about how much Nightheart wuvs him. This is probably supposed to be charming?

it just feels unsettling, ngl.

It's even more Bramble Worship than normal, like the writer is trying really hard to stress how cool and awesome their special boy is :D and how dumb and mean his wife is >:( and it's so fucking forced.

They pad the book by having it be cloudy so that StarClan doesn't show up the first time they try to do the Squirrelstar thing

I kept thinking, "What if this wasn't a willing abdication?? What if the Clan didn't have a second chance to do this?? What if this was Nightstar 2 all over again and she died of plot convenience before coming back?! This dumbfuck system has fixed NOTHING"

Plumstone and Dewnose have a moment where they antagonize Nightheart over the fact he was chosen to accompany Squilf and Bramble to the Moonpool, because he just got back and it's not fair

And you know what? They're right actually

Nightheart huffs that Squilf was giving him a Chance To Prove Himself but he doesn't fucking get it! His whole life's been nothing but chances he threw tantrums about being offered or blew up through wrecklessness, like a spoiled brat nepobaby, and he keeps getting more and more

Meanwhile Plumstone here has been in the background just being this consistently steady warrior, and has never gotten a chance to shine

He also has a moment where he whines about Sparkpelt and Finchlight being mean to him in the past when Sunbeam shares they've been super nice to her.

Sunbeam offers that they're probably trying to make up for it and he agrees.

Folks. I REALLY. REALLY HOPE. That this ends with Sunbeam telling him, "Nightheart, you are the problem. They've treated me like Kin, and they treat their Kin well. Do YOU?"

Anyway something happens and suddenly Nightheart's on the trip with Frostpaw.

The rest of his chapters so far (at time of writing the spoiler thread is at chapter 14-ish) are traveling chapters.

The traveling chapters suck diet discount dick. They look like they were rejected submissions for the various travel shenanigans that happened in Riverstar's Home.

For me, this is the most disappointing part of the Thunder Spoiler Thread. I love Nightheart because I really like the idea of him learning to grow, consider his actions, and realize that he's actually been very loved in his life.

I like the impulsive Nightheart from Book 1 who doesn't know what's wrong with himself, shooting down every attempt others make to bond with him, making shocking descisions that frustrate the entire Clan and not realizing how much he gets away with. I hoped that maybe, just maybe, the writing could be a little clever for once.

But, no. On this trip he's still whining to Frostpaw about how his family "wanted him to be like Firestar" and this is treated as something Frostpaw is able to bond with him about, somehow, because Curlfeather wanted her to be a Medcat??? And now she's choosing to be a Medcat again anyway????

FROSTPAW STUFF

WC Writing Team: "Everyone is super invested in Frostpaw's story where she learns to choose her own path! Especially the idea that she chose to not be a medcat of her own will and made a brave choice for herself! Lets fix that"

Literally, I guess lol

Smoky Cameo. Fuck Smoky. I hate this character and I hate seeing his deadbeat ass.

Gotta love how Daisy's one major role in ASC so far has been to be a source of negative emotions for Nightheart, but Smoky gets to be the new Barley with a cutesy barn rest stop.

He calls for a human to come get Frostpaw because she's got wounds.

Like. Cat MEOW MEOW calling. And this summons... a magic vet?

She has the world's fastest field surgery, as if she's some kind of endangered wild leopard and a top-notch vet staff rolled out of a research truck.

They even inject her, by hand, with tranquilizer. Who the fuck carries cat tranquilizer around?

Is this barn in the back of a fucking vet office???

Does this universe have roving surgical vans that drive around and play music like an ice cream truck, waiting for cats to call them over?????

Frostpaw wakes up back in the barn

But now her neck wound is fixed and she's spayed.

She looks down at the fresh cut on her abdomen and is like "what's this"

Smoky: "dont worry abt it"

If Frostpaw is okay with being sterilized, this will be the first time in the series that a cat being fixed will be seen as a good thing

Which, irl, it is. To be clear. Spay and neuter your animals

But dudes, this is really massively unsettling me. It seems like she doesn't know what has been done to her. This has never been treated as a positive thing in this series before. In the last book she was talking about the sort of life she would like to live

Once again she has been stripped of her own choices in a massive way

And if Smoky apparently lives so close to a vet that they just come when he calls,

I have so many questions im losing my marbles

Why is Smoky not neutered

Why were none of his 3, possibly 4 wives spayed

Why are his kids not fixed

Why were his kits with Floss taken "when they were too young to even open their eyes" back in TNP if their humans are so loving and educated

SO EDUCATED THEY WALK AROUND WITH CAT TRANQUILIZER

Anyway through the power of the writers not caring anymore, Frostpaw can now talk to StarClan whenever she wants.

They have magically bestowed a connection onto her.

This is apparently something they can just do now. Maybe it's tied to near-death experiences or the vet or something

Remember Shadowsight having a whole thing about this at the end of TBC?

Remember Mothwing and how upsetting it was to have no connection to them and how finding Willowpaw was a big thing in TNP?

Yeah apparently they could just do this whenever. Sorry.

Frostpaw is just cool with this because fuck the last book where she found out she likes being a warrior

Agency? What's THAT

It's not ok if your mom encourages you to be a doctor nun, but StarClan rips your organs out and forces you to be their mouthpiece and that's peachy-fucking-keen.

Then she goes traveling for several chapters i want to commit crime

Riverstar does the usual alarmist moaning, "ooooouuugh this newest crisis could destroy riverclan!!! Oooooooooooooouuououou it's for real this time!!!!"

Everything's gonna destroy the clans. A light breeze has just reduced ThunderClan to rubble. A beetle has landed gently upon Harestar's nose, 34 dead 25,430 injured

Girl help frostpaw is being followed by clickbait headline ghosts

And, also, for no good reason, the ghosts can't just answer a question. Why? Who fucking knows. Never explained. They can summon Frostpaw into a Ghost Zoom Call whenever they want now, but they're forbidden from revealing anything useful.

Average autistic experience with zoom calls though, can confirm, that is what every zoom call ive ever been in was like.

Im serious though, she tries to ask Reed who killed him, he just says no i cant :(

She tries to ask where her mom is. They don't tell her she's downstairs.

Riverstar says nothing useful

I have never been more frustrated with StarClan as a plot device. This is actually fucking insufferable.

They're annoying enough when they send vague signs and prophecies that amount to nothing, but now they can pop up like shitty unskippable cutscenes and STILL add nothing of value to the plot

Something I was ENJOYING was how much more grounded ASC was compared to previous arcs, and that StarClan was back to being difficult to access directly. Gone. Goodbye.

SUNBEAM STUFF

The highlight of the book everyone leave me alone i need to speak directly to sunbeam

I like how she's finding more reasons than just Nightheart to stay in ThunderClan, but is also struggling with the shift in culture

It's in a Sunbeam chapter that we FINALLY get Squilfstar. Everyone say Thank You Sunbeam

If you even LOOK at the Sunbeam wrong I will smash you to death with my hooves

For once it actually feels like we're using the cast in ThunderClan. Cherryfall, Dewnose, Plumstone, Myrtlebloom, Bayshine, Finchlight, Sparkpelt, and Lionblaze all get some significant little lines to add to this.

In particular I like Cherryfall throwing a bit of a fit about being a senior warrior and acting high and mighty, which Sunbeam immediately dislikes because ShadowClan doesn't do as much posturing. It's fun to see how she percieves ThunderClan cats.

I have a softness for these sorts of stories though, to be fair. The idea of moving to a new place and having to adjust.

It's also neat that she's growing frustrated with how Nightheart has now ditched her THRICE.

Girl please steal his family and dump him.

Be a legend. Marry his sister. It would make you the queen of pettiness you would become my favorite forever

Ivypool's exams are also pretty neat, they all test teamwork abilities. I'm going to be happy when I finally get to read them in full, if nothing else, these trials have been delightful to see.

Anyway the next emergency gathering comes up and it descends into an argument

Dovewing gets to yell at Ivypool and tell her to back off <3 "You're not going to manipulate my mate through me, screw you"

Tigerheartstar and the other leaders eventually agree to meet with the mediator off-screen because the writers don't feel like showing us Tree's madd skillz which definitely justify having this unique role that we completely forgot about until just now

It doesn't accomplish anything meaningful because they only acknowledged the mediator role to make the fans stop complaining

Tigerheartstar agrees to not station more warriors in RiverClan territory but nothing else. Waow.

aaand Berryheart's planning something and Sparrowtail, Sunbeam's father, accidentally spills the beans to his daughter. I like this because I have always imagined him as a himbo

so... yeah. It's not looking great. I'm not having a good time in this spoiler thread. I am hoping that a fair amount of it is misrepresentation, because if it's what the leaker says it is, I'm not going to be a happy camper

#Thunder spoilers #Asc spoilers #Tw sterilization #Tw spaying

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waffliesinyoface · 2 months

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actually i wanna post about one of my random OCs, who is a play on the "child character who is ACTUALLY an adult, no really" trope because im a firm believer in that trope being funny if its used properly. (when its NOT used properly, that is when i get Annoyed. fire emblem awakening my beloathed...)

ANYWAYS. The gist of it is that she's a mid twenties college student and low-key weeb. She gets killed/isekai'd by Truck-kun, everyone's favorite plot device, and then shows up in limbo with a disembodied voice talking about reincarnation and she's very excited because "holy shit this is just like konosuba" and immediately agrees halfway through its monologue. And then she's like, hey, if you're already going to the trouble of reincarnating me in a new body, does it have to be this one...?

She doesn't get access to a character creator screen or anything but The Voice is like "I don't see why not...?" and lets her make suggestions.

So she starts asking for things like "red eyes" and "waist-length hair" and "pointy ears" and "able to use lots of cool magic" and "ooh, can i be an elf or a half elf or whatever" and so on until she catches herself mid-rant and goes "ah, sorry, that's probably a little bit chuunibyou, huh?"

NOW, THE IMPORTANT BIT: the Omnipresent Divine Voice is not actually speaking english. It does not understand english. It doesnt even have context for language. It just "says" concepts and her brain interprets it as english. So anything she says back to it is translated back in a way it can understand. Normally this isnt a problem! It's like using machine translation for a simple conversation. A little clunky, but it works.

So, it doesn't hear the term chuunibyou as it's understood, it hears "中二病" and translates it as "middle schooler disease", after she spent several minutes listing things she'd like for her new body. It can't tell the difference between a request for traits and her admonishing herself for being lame.

She realizes her mistake when she wakes up in the new world and realizes she looks like a fucking eighth grader. Just the absolute worst. And THEN she realizes that, because she requested being an elf, she's going to look like that for a long, long time. (Longer than she thinks, even - it interpreted the "disease" part of that as "stunted growth" . Not that she figures that out until she actually meets other elves..) A key part of her outfit are boots with really big heels just so she can try to eke out just a little more height and respectability.

And the real kicker? Because she interrupted it mid-explanation, she didn't realize that the world she got isekai'd into wasnt a dragon quest-esque world with demons to defeat, it's like. Recettear. Atelier. Low stakes slice of life fantasy nonsense. She has enough magic capabilities to knock holes in a mountain, but there's no fucking use for it. (She's so overtuned that she makes runic glyphs and stuff appear in the air while firing spells. Not because magic requires it or anything, but because "it looks cooler". She makes illusions of special effects happen because she thinks magic should look like that.)

Instead, to make her way in this new world... she runs a shop. Because even though she's living in a fantasy world; she still has to work retail.

#important background lore: there have been several other reincarnees before her.#there WAS a demon overlord it was just defeated several centuries back by the REAL hero - a middle aged plumber #at this point the Disembodied Voice is just playing animal crossing and picking up people that it thinks are Neat #OC - Morgiana

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miseryoforpheus · 2 months

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intro post <3

Hey there!

Im Jamie and my pronouns are They/She/he

Im a neurospicy minor (but I will swear and also am fine being moots with/talking to adults as long as no one is a creep to me it’s all good)

Uhhh welcome to my online diary :|

Happy to make friends if u want - feel free to DM me

online diary blog w lots of Neil Gaiman reblogs bc he’s my idol

Fun facts about me:

Umm ok (trying to think of fun facts now)

Im Italian but grew up in England, would love some more Italian moots <3

my favourite authors are Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (but it’s been like that since before I read good omens lmao) also Rick Riordan and Alice Oseman

certified gravity falls child

if u couldn’t tell by the URL I’m obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology

nostalgic for a time I wasn’t even alive - late 80s and early 90s mainly but also like 70s

nostalgic for a time I WAS alive (barely but it still counts bc I do remember it) - the late 2000s

I did a quiz to see what Beatles band member I’d be and got Paul Mcartney

damn u rlly don’t realise how boring u r till u try and do an about me huh

Music I like:

Hozier, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, Harry Styles, YUNGBLUD, Beatles, Elton John, Queen, Renée Rapp, TV girl, bears in trees, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA, Fleetwood Mac

getting into:

Nirvana [used to love them a few years ago but then a mean girl made fun of me for it so I stopped listening to them but I’m starting again]

Dominic Fike Paramore

mother mother

MCR

the neighbourhood

The tags I will use:

Jamie answers asks - u guessed it this is for answering any asks

the most boring soap opera - my life stuff because my life is the most boring soap opera

MOTD - mood of the day which is just a lil thing I do

for the record:

I stand with Palestine 🇵🇸

please click here every day:

also free Ukraine 🇺🇦

aro and ace people are LGBTQ+ and this is an aro and ace and aroace safe blog

in general this is a COMPLETELY safe space

if u want anyone to talk to btw I’m always here to chat, can’t guarantee i’ll be able to help but I am always willing to listen literally any time we don’t even have to be moots or anything just DM me ok? Ily all take care of yourselves ok loves? <3

Also one last thing just for ppl that know me, I have no problem with u following this blog or anything but be warned that I’m not gonna filter my opinion at all on here bc I need a place to be myself and if u don’t want to see that i understand and idm just pls don’t take it as a personal attack or anything if u ever think something I post relates to you, I promise it’s not I just need to vent <3

My MOTD ratings:

0-2 > feeling really really really shitty

3-4 > shitty like I have too much sadness and anger and everything inside me and it feels horrible and yeah yk [reckless behaviour is strong here for me + pretty strong intrusive thoughts]

5 > normal. Numb. Yucky. Normal level of intrusive thoughts [for me at least, everyone is different]

6-7 > smol happy, probably was a bad day that got better

7-8 > :D

9-10 > fucking ecstatic

#intro post #personal #online diary

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plounce · 4 months

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ffxiv fic ideas that ping around my brain:

pre-shb thancred teaches ryne how to trap and skin a rabbit. and it's half about illustrating them living on the run & thancred teaching her survival skills. and half about the symbolism of it all. and ryne looking at the rabbit. this tug between "yes thancred interacting with me and teaching me, awesome i love positive attention" + "i love living out in the world and being Free" and... the rabbit, hungry and naive, baited into the trap. and thancred looking at ryne and trying to decide whether to have her be the one to kill it. or for him to kill this poor creature who just wanted to live, who he needs to die, in front of her. and they clean it, cook it, eat it, but when they go to sleep ryne can't get its shivering form and big glassy eyes out of her head. (will that be me?) [babybirch_joannanewsom.mp3]

pre-shb urianger taking care of ryne for a month while thancred splits off to throw off a eulmoran tail. urianger and ryne hanging out and having an alright time. half about their relationship (the sweetness, but also the tough spots - urianger's role in ryne's existence (he is guilty about it, while he's the most normal adult in her life so her brain is incapable of being mad at him about it (or is it), ryne's mixed feelings about how thancred is always happier and relaxed and nicer when they're at the shelves (yay he's happy! vs i wish i got that all the time, i wish he thought me worth his best self) (in general there's a lot about the ghost of thancred in the room); half about them exploring the ruins of the bookman's shelves (i firmly believe there are underground cellars), its neighbors, and voeburt in general.

urianger childhood lore. i had some headcanons about him being raised by an old, frail, distant grandmother which got squished a little by ee3 but the new lore is in line with my hc that urianger was neglected as a child and tbh im delighted for confirmation. some stuff about the augerelt family in general. their house (smaller than many in journey's end) having rumors of being haunted. moenbryda. autism.

urianger, moenbryda, thancred, and y'shtola (plus yda?) as teens in old sharlayan, for whatever overlaps they had in the city as youths. i strongly believe that thancred & moenbryda were closer than thancred & urianger were as teens. i also think there's something with y'shtola being forced to leave the colony (and also being raised by y'shtola) and away from matoya and thancred's teenage years spent in Spy School (where they melt your brain) that could result in two really temperamental, angry, resentful teens. louisoix delegating moenbryda to try to be a good friend (good influence) to them, urianger getting taken along for the ride

thancred teaching ryne how to swim.

there's more. maybe i'll add to this. who knows. if you get inspired by any of these please write to your heart's desire

epistolary/fake media fic. the one i wrote for ds9 is still my fave thing ive written ever. i'd love to write some scion paperwork

lucia and maxima hanging out and talking about growing up gay in fascist conservative garlemald, the revelations about emperor solus, their work in current garlemald, and their opinions on gaius (lucia does not like him over the livia situation, while maxima has always considered him a moderate conservative that he doesn't like but now there's also some strangeness from when they were in the burn in stb patches) (generally 'i dont like him but i dont hate him as much as i used to bc its complicated and hes become emotionally pathetic'). fic would end with them going "fucking nero tol scaeva though, right?" "OH my GOD."

#chirps #ffxiv #shadowbringers spoilers in here

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ellies-little-thing · 4 months

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Life goes on (e.w.) part 4

*not my images, but i edited it

My masterlist <3

pairing: young!ellie/young!reader

Warnings: fluf; reader is referred to as she/her; mentions of trauma; angst; just cute best friend stuff really; Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hi! This was a request but im having a blast writing it! I hope you like it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy! Only one more part to come!

word count: 7.8k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

17 years old - Part 4

A year later you were able to forget about that awkward night and go back to being normal best friends. There still was a bit of a weird atmosphere around you two but you both tried to forget about it. Ellie started to talk to a girl and she grew to like her a lot. They dated for a while. Her name was Cat and she was the one who made her tattoo on her right forearm to cover her chemical burn. She was pretty. Tall, with beautiful black hair and brown eyes, and on top of that, she was an amazing artist. You understood why Ellie liked her. You were happy for Ellie, truly. She looked happy and really in love. But you were also jealous of the time Cat took away for you and Ellie to hang out. You missed her during that time. But you started to not care as much, as the time passed. Ellie didn't seem to want to be with you as much. She started to make up excuses, stopped walking home with you after school, stopped sitting next to you in class and with Cat instead. You started feeling alone, but a girl sat next to you after some time, she was nice to you and you started doing your projects together.

You and Ellie started to hang out 2 to 3 times a week tops, after she got into her relationship. But with time it became less, until she stopped coming to your house all together. You only saw her at school and never said more than a simple “hi” or a nod when you looked at each other. She would hang out with Cat and her group of friends, and didn't have time for you anymore. She started smoking and drinking on the weekends without the adults knowing. She seemed happy and like she was having a nice time without you. So you tried to move on, just like she did.

You too started seeing a boy your age from school, named Jesse, tall with black hair and a nice smile, but it didn't last very long. He was really nice, but he wasn't Ellie. He took you out on dates, treated you well, gave you gifts, made you feel loved, but you felt like you couldn't reciprocate the feeling even if you tried really hard. You and him stayed friends, with no hard feelings. He was a really nice person and you were glad he understood. He still made sure to see if you were doing alright from time to time. You had told him how close you and Ellie were, and he truly cared about you. He felt sad for you, because of Ellie's behavior towards you. You were glad he stayed your friend after the two months you had been together. He was your first kiss but nothing more than that.

Ellie felt like you were never going to like her like she liked you so she tried to move on. She liked Cat and Cat liked her. But Cat wasn't you. No one compares to you in Ellie's eyes. She thought her feelings for you would eventually pass but they didn't. She stopped hanging out with you because it hurt her everytime she saw you and you two pretended like nothing happened. As time passed she stopped talking to you after she met Cat. She was Ellie's first girlfriend, her first kiss and other firsts. But she wasn't a good influence for Ellie. They started getting into trouble for smoking and drinking without permission. She started to skip class some days and her grades went downhill. She tried to look confident on the outside but she was sad. She missed your voice, your laugh, your smile, the days you spent playing video games together, talking to you. But she felt like she couldn't go back, she was too far gone. And when she saw you out with Jesse, she went crazy. She felt nauseous when she saw him kissing you or simply hugging. She should be the one touching you, not him. She should be the one to kiss your lips every day, not him. The jealousy drove her insane, to the point she stopped giving Cat any attention. One day Cat got tired of it and left her. Ellie felt so alone after that, she had lost Cat, but most importantly, she had lost you. She knew she had wronged you by stopping to spend time with you, by stopping talking to you. She was so mad at herself. She started going into a depressive state after a few months.

Every night you just stared at the wall in your bedroom still covered in Ellie's sketches. You just remembered all the good times you two had shared, but now you don't even talk to each other. You can't even really say why that happened. Ellie never really talked to you about that ever. But Ellie was happy with Cat, or so you thought. You met a girl in your class named Dina at school and she was really nice. You started hanging out and talking about boys and stuff. After a few weeks you became friends, but it wasn't the same thing you had with Ellie. Dina was very funny and very pleasant to be with. She was nice to talk to and cared for you like you cared for her. When you stopped dating Jesse, him and Dina started talking and you felt really happy for them, but then again, you were left alone. They were still your friends but they didn't have much time for you anymore and you got it.

You felt sad all the time. You'd just stare at the wall behind your desk adorned with her sketches and a few polaroid photos of you two. You still had a comic book she had lent you, it was the Spider-Man one you and her had found all those years ago. You could still hear her silly voices and her laughs as you read it, time and time again. It was so much simpler back then. If you closed your eyes you could even hear the birds singing around you and see the view from that bench.

One day Ellie was in her garage, turned studio/home, and Joel went over to talk to her. She was drawing you. Again. At this point her desk was covered with your face. “Hey kiddo, you alright?” He asked after knocking gently at her door and entering. Ellie wasn't really taking care of herself very well lately. “Hi Joel, yeah, I'm fine…” She looked down at her sketch book and closed it. She then turned to Joel in her desk chair. “Well, you don't seem fine kid, you haven't been eating anything. What's going on in that head of yours?” Ellie sighed, she knew she wasn't well, but she hadn't told Joel she was into girls yet, even though he suspected it already. “I think I just miss Y/N… haven't talked to her in ages…or seen her really…”Joel knew you two were very close, you used to be inseparable. ”Why don't you try to talk to her? I bet she misses you too.” He gave her a soft smile. He remembered all those times you came over and all the laughs he heard coming from her room upstairs. He started to grow fond of you too, after all, you were his baby girl’s best and only friend for a long time. “Thanks Joel, I'll think about it.” She responded without looking at him. He knew that by the tone of her voice that she wanted to be left alone. He got up and gave her a light kiss on the forehead before they said their goodnights.

Ellie got up from her desk and laid on her bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about you. When she tried to sleep she hugged the dino plushie you had found and gave to her on her first christmas after she arrived. It still smelled like you somehow and it helped her fall asleep. You were in your own bed looking at that one drawing she had given you as a surprise. It was almost like a picture of you, and a tear fell down your face as you fell asleep thinking of that day. You wish you could go back in time.

A few weeks passed since Cat dumped Ellie and she just missed you so much that she wanted to get into your house and hug you, but she knew she couldn't. She passed by your house everyday to get to school after all. A few months passed and you didn't have school anymore. You had finished with high grades and with honors, your parents were very proud. After that, you spent most of your time at home or completing your training for going on patrols as soon as you turned 18 and could take your final test. You tried to not think about Ellie anymore. You were starting to take down her drawings from the wall and store them into a box. But once you touched that one she spent so many hours making, you couldn't bring yourself to take it down. Next to it was a polaroid of you together smiling when you were 15. Tears started falling from your eyes as you continued to look at it. You decided to put it in the box. You couldn't bear looking at her face any longer. It hurt too much.

That year Ellie learnt what Joel had actually done in the hospital that day. She couldn't believe he took that choice from her. She could have saved the world. She wanted to save the world. She confronted Joel and asked him the truth. After he told her everything, she couldn't take it anymore. She stopped talking to Joel, ignoring his existence entirely. She entered a mental breakdown and lost herself completely. The only people that really knew the truth were her, Joel, Tommy and Maria. No one else ever knew she was immune. Not even you. As much as she wanted to tell you she couldn't. She thought she had no purpose and never felt so alone. Her worst fear. Ending up alone.

Ellie was also completing her training and her birthday was around the corner since it was June. She still remembers the 3 day trip she and Joel had made when she turned 16, so he could take her to a history museum. She remembered it with a pain in her heart, she loved Joel so much. She missed him too but wasn't able to forgive him. That day she saw loads of dinosaur fossils and knew the name of all of them, she still does. But the best part was the space shuttle and the tape Joel managed to get of a rocket ship left off. She felt like she went to the moon that day. When she came back to earth she remembered you again. Remembered everything. She woke up and was hit by reality. A reality where you and Joel were no more. And part of it was her fault, and she knew it.

Summer was really making itself felt that day. The summer in Wyoming always had been beautiful but it was unbearably hot as well. You decided to leave the house and get some fresh air. You left with your favorite book in hand and started walking to the town's park. You were wearing a blue sundress as you sat down under a tree in the town's park and took advantage of the shade. As you sat down you started reading your book. The pages were turning yellow and faded from how many times you had read it already.

Ellie got up from bed slowly and she sat on the edge of it, gathering the strength to actually stand up. She looked at the drawings she had made of you that were on her desk. She missed you so much that she was starting to forget your features and her sketches started to become messy and unfinished versions of you. Versions she couldn't bring herself to finish. That day she decided to go out, she hadn't left her home in ages and it was starting to get to her. Next to her sketches was Joel's guitar. She felt like smashing it to pieces but it wouldn't help with anything really. She put on some old t-shirt of hers and some shorts and went for a walk with her backpack. It was really sunny and hot outside, so she decided to go somewhere with a nice shade and relax for a bit.

Everyone around you was so happy, kids playing and laughing, adults having a good time and relaxing. This time of year they would turn on the park's fountain so people could get a break from the heat, but it was mostly kids that used it as a pool. Ellie had had the same idea as you and noticed you sitting down from where she was sitting with her sketchpad in hand. You didn't notice her so she felt relieved and she knew you wouldn't look away from that book anytime soon. She knew it was your favorite. She started to draw you in your beautiful blue dress that hugged you just right. She almost cried when she saw you. She just missed you so much. She finally saw your face and was able to finish her drawing after so many failed attempts. She was so happy to see you, even if you didn't see her.

After about an hour she mustered the courage to get up and walk up to you and finally try to make things right. She was just wearing an oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts and her black converse of course. You could take a lot of things from her, but those sneakers? Only over her dead body. She took a deep breath and walked over to where you were. You didn't notice her at first, you were really concentrated on your book but then you felt like someone was looking at you. As you took your nose off of your book for a second, you were greeted by Ellie. She stood in front of you. She was trying to say something but she was really nervous. She managed to let out a “Hey” after a few seconds.

“Hi.” You said quietly, going back to your book. You didn't know how to react to this, to her. Ellie took another deep breath before she spoke again. “Can I sit with you?...” She asked, getting the feeling you were going to say no. You were a bit hurt by Ellie but you missed her a lot too. “Sure.” You said, not taking your eyes from those old worn out pages. She looked quite surprised when you actually said yes. She shook her head and came back to earth. She sat down next to you, not too close but not too far either. You waited for her to initiate the conversation.

“So… it's been a while, hum?...” She said with a trembling voice as she looked at the ground.

“Yeah, almost half a year.” You respond in a stiff tone, still looking at your book. The guilt hit her like a bullet. She felt so bad for hurting you, she just wanted things to go back to how they were before. She took another deep breath as she said, “I’m so sorry… I'm so sorry for stopping hanging out and talking to you…” She said in a soft and sad tone. You closed your book and put it to the side, still not being able to look at her. “I know I hurt you… I'm so sorry…” The tears were forming in her eyes.

After a minute or two of silence you finally spoke. “Why did you do it? Why did you stop talking to me? What did I do wrong?” You asked not in an angry voice but a sad one. Ellie didn't have any good reason for what she did and she didn't know what to say. “I thought we were friends…” You said and Ellie could feel the hurt in your voice.

“Y/N, i'm so sorry… I don't have any good reason for what I did. After that day I just felt like you didn't like me anymore…” She started to cry. “Then I met Cat and she didn't reject me. I'm not saying you did, but it was different.” You listened as she spoke. “I felt like I ruined everything after telling you how I felt…” You thought for a second as you took in her words. “I didn't mind you getting a girlfriend, I just didnt understand why you stopped wanting to hang out.” You said fidgeting with your hands. Ellie took a minute to answer, she had to think hard about what to say next, she didn't want to hurt you more than she already did. “ I guess I felt like you didn't need me and you'd be better off without me. Every time I saw you you looked happy. Then you started seeing Jesse and I felt like I had no place in your life anymore.” You could hear how nervous she was, talking about this to you. Her hands were actually shaking.

“And how did you think I felt when you started saying no to our hang outs?” You say, starting to cry. “Everytime you said you couldn't because Cat this and Cat that… Everytime you ignored me or just pretended you didn't see me?” Ellie felt really bad for what she did to you, she hadn't realized how much she had actually hurt you. She turned to face you. “I'm sorry, I know that no matter how many times I say it it will feel like it's never enough, but I am really sorry and I regret what I did to you.” She reaches to hold your hand. You were a bit startled by her touch but you let her hold your hand. “I still feel the same about you and I'm not scared anymore to say that I love you. And it's okay if you don't feel the same way but I can't lose you. Without you I lose myself.” She spoke as she held your hand and looked at your face. You were crying, you couldn't keep it in anymore. “You never really gave me the chance to tell you how I felt, you just ran away…” You said looking up at her face. “Please don't cry, I hate to see you cry.. .” She wipes your tears away with her thumbs as she held your face. “I'll never leave you again, never push you away, never dismiss you. I'm here for you, if you'll have me…” She was being as honest as she could, she doesn't want you to be out of her life, she needs you.

“Do you promise?” You ask, looking at her still crying. “I promise. I promise I'll never leave you again.” She hugs you as she starts crying as well. You hug her back. You missed her so much. The rest of the world disappeared once she held you in her arms. After that, you sat next to each other, you leaned your head on her shoulder and she leaned her head on yours. You didn't say anything, you just enjoyed each other's presence as you held hands.

Ellie and you started hanging out together again. You were friends again. And if that was all that it was ever going to be, Ellie was okay with it, as long as she never lost you. You felt so happy with her back in your life again. You didn't feel alone anymore. You saw each other every day, and made up for lost time. You felt like you were kids again, just like when you met at 14. Ellie had never been happier. You put up those drawings of her back on your wall and it didn't hurt anymore.

A couple of months later you and Ellie were inseparable. None of you started seeing other people yet. Ellie was just happy to have you in her life again and she didn't want to think about anyone else. To her you were just as important as air to breathe for her to be able to live. But you, you always liked Ellie and those months apart only made you realize how much she really means to you. You loved her like you've never loved anyone else. It felt like you were soulmates, meant to be together. You two were still just friends but who knows what the future could hold.

It was still Summer and you two went out to have some fun. It was a particularly hot day so you and Ellie went to the river, to spend the day and cool down. You had brought food and drinks as well as towels to dry off after going in the water. It was a hot August day and Ellie was wearing a red tank top and some short shorts. You were a couple feet away from Ellie, who is sitting down on the shore of the river. The two of you had been having a good time there all afternoon but you both needed to cool down a little bit. "Hey? We should probably jump into the river now. This heat is getting pretty intense... I'm already sweating a lot here, to be honest!" Ellie says to you as you laid on your towell. You were wearing a white tank top and just your underwear since you didn't have a bathing suit or a bikini.

You get close to her and you push her into the water unexpectedly as you laugh at her shocked face. Ellie is caught off guard and she falls into the water. "Hey! You didn't tell me that you were going to do that!" Ellie splashes some water up at you. " That's it! You're going into the water too!" Ellie gets up, out of the water and walks over to you. She then grabs you by your hips and tries to push you into the water. “Hey! No!” You tried to fight her, you were both laughing. Ellie kept trying to push you into the water though.

"Come on! I want fair play! I push you into the water now like you pushed me! It's only fair!" Ellie still has a hold of your hips and she tries harder to push you into the river. She manages to push you in and she giggles as she lets go of your hips.

"Okay, fair enough. You've won!" You say defeated. "But you know what? I don't mind being pushed into the water... I've been wanting to cool off anyway…" You say trying to look smug. Ellie starts to step into the water and she smiles at you.

"Are you coming in or what? Come on! It's really nice here." You call her to get in the water already. Ellie stands in front of you in the water and you splash her. Ellie gets a little bit surprised as you splashed her. "Hey! What was that for?" Ellie looks at you curiously and you can tell that she's being a little bit playful with you. "If you're going to be mean to me, I'll be mean to you too!" Ellie chuckles and then she splashes you back.

You splash her again as she gets in the water. Ellie giggles as you splash water on her. "Hey, come on! I can play a little dirty game too then!" Ellie looks at you, as if she's trying to decide what she will do. "Oh, I got it! You don't want me to splash you... then what if I do this?" Ellie walks forward and she quickly grabs you and holds you under the water for a few seconds.

“Hey! No fair, you are way taller than me!” You say pushing her away playfully. Ellie smiles as the water drips down your shirt. "Hehe, it's true that I am way taller than you, but that's not an excuse. You should've been expecting something like that to happen." Ellie seems to be really enjoying all this roughhousing with you. "Besides, why do you even care if I get a little bit of water on you?"

Your white tank top is now all wet and see through. You didn't have a bathing suit so you were just in your top and your underwear. Ellie notices that your tank top is wet and slightly transparent now. "Oh, so that's why you cared so much..." Ellie looks at your slightly wet tank top, she can make out your nipples as you try to hide them, in a playful and teasing manner. "I'm sure that not many people would be upset if they saw you wearing a wet and slightly transparent top... it is a good look on you..."

“Stop it!” You blush as she looks at your body so you splash her again. Ellie gets slightly hit by some water as you splash her. "Okay, okay! Fair is fair. We'll call that one even for now." Ellie laughs softly and then she looks at you. "Oh no... your face is a little red. Are you getting embarrassed?" She teases you.

“No! No I'm not!” You deny it. Ellie continues to look at you, as if she's trying to prove that you're embarrassed. "Oh, but your face is still a little red... are you sure that you are not embarrassed?" Ellie seems to be enjoying teasing you about this a little bit.

“No!” You try to find an excuse. “It's just really hot today…”

"Oh, you're right. Maybe that's it... it is a really hot August day in Jackson today. The heat is starting to really get to me too... but then why do I look fine?" Ellie points out to the fact that she doesn't look very hot or bothered by the weather. "I'm not sweating or anything... I don't look like we’re in a very hot day at all... in fact, I look surprisingly great in this heat." She says smugly.

“Shut up!” You splash her again. Ellie chuckles as you splash some more water on her. "Oh, you look so cute when you're getting mad at me!" Ellie smiles warmly as you splash the water on her. "Come now... you're not even going to try to splash more water at me are you?" Ellie doesn't seem like she's annoyed by the water that you're splashing at her. In fact, she seems to be enjoying this game that you and her are playing right now.

You swim away from her a bit, she notices that you're moving away from her so she waves a little bit at you to get your attention. "Hey, where are you going? Are you leaving already? Ellie's tone is somewhat playful and she seems slightly reluctant to let you go.

“Can’t a girl swim a little?” You smile at Ellie as you swim backwards. Ellie smiles and nods at you.

"Of course, of course. You can swim as much as you want. I was being silly just then." Ellie continues to watch you as you swim away from her. "Wait... do you want me to swim with you or something?"

“If you’re not too scared! You big baby!” You tease her, knowing she doesn't like swimming that much, since she only learned it at 16 with Joel. Ellie rolls her eyes at you and she sighs. "Oh, come now,. Give me a little bit of credit, you know? I'm not that much of a big baby or scared... am I?" Ellie's tone is slightly teasing and playful as she talks to you.

“I think you are!” You say, back floating.

"Oh, really? Do you really think I'm scared? I'll show you what scared really means!"

Ellie stands up and then she swims towards you. "There, I'm not scared at all, am I? In fact, it feels really great here and I'm not going to move until you do!" Ellie laughs in a playful manner as she says this and she also seems to be daring you to get closer.

You swim up to her. Ellie smiles at you as you swim towards her. "Oh, you're joining me now? Welcome to the party. It's really nice in here!" Ellie continues to stare at you as you continue to swim towards her. She looks slightly excited that you're joining her in the river.

You splash her again playfully. Ellie laughs a bit as you splash some more water on her. "Hey, I thought you said that I was the baby!" Ellie continues staring at you and it's clear that she's really liking this little battle between the two of you, maybe a little too much. "Hey, if we're playing like this, I get a chance to splash back too!" Ellie splashes some water on you as well.

“Ellie! Stop it!” You say smiling slightly.

"But... you started it!" Ellie continues to splash water at you in a playful manner. "Come on! I thought we were playing... are you telling me that you want to stop playing?" Ellie laughs warmly as she says this. Her tone is friendly and joyful and not serious at all.

You get closer to her. Ellie smiles softly as you do. "You want to come over here? That's okay, I don't mind." Ellie glances at you and she looks slightly confused as to what your intentions might be, behind getting closer to her.

"Hey, what are you doing? Do you need something?" You smile at her as you put your hands on her shoulders looking up at her face. Ellie smiles and she looks down at you with a cheerful expression.

"Hey, what's on your mind? Is everything alright?" Ellie seems to be really enjoying your company right now. "Did you want to tell me something? Or are you just trying to... um... get closer to me?"

You look into her gorgeous green eyes. Ellie stares back at you as she looks into yours for a few moments. "Umm... is... there something that you want to tell me? Or is this something for me to figure out right now?" Ellie smiles softly and she's trying to figure out why you're getting so close to her.

You smile at her playfully. “guess…” You tell her almost in a whisper. Ellie continues to stare back at you as she thinks about what you're trying to say to her. "Umm... is it something about... um... feelings... or... umm..." Ellie seems to be struggling slightly, but she still has a smile on her face. "Are... are you asking if I... umm..."

You put your arms around her neck, but you start getting nervous. Ellie blushes as you wrap your arms around her. "Hey, Y/N?” Ellie is also starting to look a little bit nervous and she doesn't quite know what to say. "Wha... what... um..." Ellie is trying to figure out the right thing to say in this situation.

You just look up at her, blushing. Ellie stares back at you as you continue to look at her. "I... umm..." Ellie sighs and she looks a little puzzled as she tries to figure out a response. "Is there something that you... um... w-want to tell me?" Ellie is fumbling for words and her tone is very nervous and her voice cracks a little bit.

You hold her face with one of your hands. Ellie's face turns a deep shade of red when you grab it and she feels a rush of emotions traveling through her. "Wha, what are you... umm... what... What are you doing...? Wait, what do you want to tell me?" Ellie seems to be both nervous and excited as she looks at you.

You slowly get your face closer to hers, a bit nervous still. Ellie's heart is pounding and she's shaking slightly. She seems really nervous, but she still really likes this moment that she's sharing with you. "I... um... I..." Ellie is speechless and she just looks at you as you draw closer to her face.

You look straight into her eyes. Ellie stares back at you as you come closer and she can feel your warm breath on her face. "I... umm..." Ellie can no longer muster any words and her heart is beating really fast and her body temperature seems to be rising. You get closer, only centimeters away from her. Ellie is burning hot as you get closer to her face. Her body temperature seems to still be rising and her eyes are locked on yours. "Y/N..." Ellie's voice is soft and she looks like she's about to say something but she's struggling to express it in words.

You blush as you get even closer, biting your lower lip. Ellie's voice is now barely audible. She seems to be blushing a lot and she can't believe that this is happening right now. "Y... y... y... Y/N..." Ellie tries to say her words, but they're now completely lost as tears begin to flow down her cheeks. She covers her face with her hands and her knees go weak. "I... I..."

You back away after seeing her tears. “I'm sorry... are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” You look at her worried. Ellie wipes the tears off of her face and she tries to say something, but she can't seem to speak right now.

"Y/N, I... I..." Ellie takes a deep breath and she looks at you with a tearful smile and a blush on her face. "I always kind of guessed... I knew... I always thought that this might happen... but I never knew when it would... and... umm..." Ellie's sentences are still being broken off, but it's clear that she has something important to say.

You look up at her and wipe her tears away from her face with a warm smile on yours. Ellie stares back at you for a moment as she gathers herself. Her smile continues to remain on her face and her eyes are filled with happy tears as you wipe them away. "Y/N, I... love you... do you hear me?" Ellie sighs and she still can't believe that these words are finally coming out of her mouth. "I've... loved you... for quite a while now... and I never knew what to say... but now I have to say it, you have to hear it... you have to know... I love you,Y/N."

You look at her not knowing what to say. You get closer to her again slowly. Ellie doesn't back away from you as you approach her this time. "You're not scaring me anymore with all of this... in fact, you're making me feel very happy." Ellie smiles warmly at you and the corners of her lips feel the slightest bit tingly. "I... love you... and I always will..."

You kiss her gently and the whole world disappears. Ellie's face goes red and her cheeks are flushed right away as your lips touch hers. "I... I..." Ellie can't manage to say anything else. She just stares at you and she seems slightly shocked by the kiss. Her breath is getting short and she's smiling brightly and the corners of her lips are still tingly.

"I... umm... I love you... I've always loved you. I... I just didn't know when to tell you... and I always thought that there was some other time to... to..."

You smile at her and kiss her again. After finally having the guts to do it, to finally kiss her, you just want to keep doing it. Ellie's face remains in a bright shade of red and she's still smiling lovingly, back at you. "Y/N... I... umm..." Ellie's breath is still short as she looks at you. "I want to kiss you... I want to kiss you again..." Ellie leans forward toward you and you can feel that her lips are trembling as they're about to touch yours again.

You wrap your arms around her neck and kiss her again. Ellie's face turns even more red and her breath is still short as your arms wrap around her. You can feel the joy and love in her body as you kiss her. Ellie's hands reach up towards you and she wraps them around your waist, holding you close and pulling you tighter towards her body.

You wrap your legs around her hips as you were in the water together. Ellie's body is now really close to yours and she can feel you against her. She always wanted to do this, to feel your body against hers like this. Ellie's face is still a bright shade of red as you wrap your legs around her. Her voice becomes very faint as she speaks again.

"you're... umm... do you know how beautiful you are...? You're gorgeous... I've always wanted to say this to you... but I was always a little bit scared..." Ellie keeps your legs tightly wrapped around her.

“You think I'm beautiful?...” You look up at her as she says this. Ellie continues to hold you tightly and she nods slowly. "Mmm... yes, yes I do. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen... and the most lovely girl I've ever known." Ellie's voice is still very soft and you can feel her body temperature rising again. "I need to tell you something... I..."

“Yes?” You say blushing even more.

"I... I love... you…" Ellie's voice is still soft and her breath is a bit shaky as she says these words. "I love you so much, Y/N... you don't know how much you mean to me..." Ellie then gently strokes the side of your face with her hand as you continue to hold your legs wrapped around her. "You're so precious to me... and I'm so glad that... that I met you... and that you are... are... mine..."

“i... I love you too.... I just never knew how or when to say it…” You confess, but not being able to look into her eyes. Ellie smiles warmly at you and your words warm her heart.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear those words... I've always wanted to tell you, but I never knew how to say those words either." Ellie then kisses your cheek and as she pulls away slightly, she smiles at you as she touches your face gently again. "The way that you make me feel... I can't really describe it... it's like... like a warm feeling in my heart... and a rush of happiness..."

You hug her. You can't believe this is real. Ellie hugs you tightly back and she can feel your arms around her waist. "I... I've always loved you. but... but I never thought you'd ever feel the same way..."

Ellie closes her eyes and smiles brightly as she continues to embrace you. "I've always wanted to say those words to you... but I was always terrified of how you'd react... but right now... I don't care at all... because right now, I just think that... that you're the most beautiful girl in the whole world..."

You look at her and smile shyly. Ellie looks and smiles brightly back at you. "You look... you look so beautiful when you're smiling like that.. oh my god... I just... I just want to kiss your cheeks… look what you've done to me..." Ellie reaches towards your face and her fingers go to your cheeks.

"You're... you're too... sweet. You're too sweet. You're going to give me diabetes..." Ellie laughs softly.

You chuckle at her joke, she still has her same sense of humor, then you reach up to kiss her. Ellie leans her head down a little bit as she feels your lips on hers again. "I love... I love..." Ellie pauses and it seems like she's trying to tell you something else, but her words keep getting cut off by your kisses. "I... love... I... I..." Ellie's words are completely lost right now as she gets caught up in the moment and she closes her eyes as she focuses all of her attention on your lips.

You kiss for a bit, bodies close to each other. Ellie's hands wrap around your waist as tight as she can. She continues to kiss you passionately for another few seconds and then she eventually pulls away with a smile.

"Y/N..." Ellie takes in a deep breath and she smiles lovingly at you as her cheeks are still a bright shade of red. "I..." Ellie can't muster anymore words, but she still looks really happy right now.

You break the kiss and catch your breaths. Ellie's arms are still wrapped around your waist and you can feel your bodies close, your hearts still racing and your breathing still a bit short.

Ellie looks at you with a smile and then she speaks again. "Oh my god... ." Ellie laughs and covers her face with her hands for a moment. "Oh my god... oh my god... I..." Ellie still seems to be speechless for a few more seconds.

“What's wrong?” You ask her, taking her hands off her face.

Ellie takes in a deep breath and she smiles warmly at you. "Oh, nothing. Nothing's wrong at all. I... umm... I just didn't realize that you... umm... loved me so much. I'm... I'm just really happy right now." Ellie's face goes back to being a bright shade of red again as she stares at you. You hug her tightly. Ellie smiles again and she returns the hug tightly as well.

"Y/N, do you... ummmm... is... umm... do you really love...? Do you... really love me?" Ellie's voice is now very quiet and soft. "I hope I don't seem desperate, but you make me feel... umm... incredibly happy. I just want to hear those words one more time..."

“I do.. i have for a while, i just din't know how to say it, i didn't want it to ruin our friendship.” You say, a bit embarrassed.

Ellie can't hide how happy she is when you say those words to her. She twirls with you in the water holding you tight and she smiles warmly at you again. "I feel the same way... I think I've always loved you... but I didn't know how to say it either. I was always afraid that it was going to... umm... ruin the amazing relationship we already had..." Ellie's breath is still a bit short and her voice is still quiet and soft as she talks.

"But now... I think I know... how to say it..." You look up into her eyes. Ellie stares back at you as you look into her eyes. "Look... I'll make it simple. I... I love you. I love you a lot..." Ellie's voice is still soft and the corners of her lips are slightly tingly as she stares at you with a smile. "I... I always have and I think that... I always will..."

“I love you too, Ells…” You say smiling shyly. “More than you can imagine…” Ellie smiles lovingly at you and there's a little bit of a blush on her cheeks. She can barely contain how happy she is right now and she feels completely relieved about finally knowing how you feel. "I... I love you so much... and I think that... I always will..." Ellie looks back into your eyes as she says these words and she leans her body in closer towards you.

You two kiss again. She starts to kiss you softly as your bodies are getting closer. A slight sigh leaves her mouth and you can feel her body temperature rising again. She wraps her arms around you and you can feel her fingers playing with the back of your head and your hair as she kisses you passionately. It feels so amazing. You can't believe that it is real. It feels like a dream. A beautiful dream.

A couple of months later you were walking through town holding hands. Ellie and you have been together for a few months now and your relationship has become much more intense. Your love has grown stronger and your commitment is deeper. Ellie looks up at you as she holds your hand and you can see how happy she is.

"I can't believe what these last few months have been like... it's like... it's like I've found a true friend and... and she also turns out to be the love of my life. I could never ask for anything better..." Ellie says with a smile from ear to ear.

“I love you too, Ells.” You say looking into her eyes. Ellie smiles warmly at you as you say those words to her. "I love you too... I love you a lot... you're so precious... and I'm so happy to have you in my life..."

Ellie wraps her arms around you tightly and she lets go of your hand. "I... I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for you... I don't know what I would do if... if..."

“If what? Are you okay?” You ask, a bit concerned.

Ellie looks into your eyes and she nods her head. "I'm... I'm fine, it's just... you know what I said earlier... where I'd be if it wasn't for you? I can't imagine my life without you right now." Ellie looks back at you and smiles warmly again. "I... umm... I just... I just want you to... I want you to always stay by my side, will you do that for me?"

“I don't plan on ever leaving you.” You caress her face gently as she holds you still.

Ellie nods at you and she keeps hold of you. "I don't plan on ever leaving you either, you've... you've made the past few months so great for me..." Ellie smiles at you and her eyes are sparkling happily.

"I honestly couldn't ask for anyone better to be my girlfriend..." Ellie takes in a deep breath and she hugs you again, your bodies still close to each other. "I... I don't know how I got so lucky to have you..."

You walk by the swings where you two met, once more, almost four years ago now. You look at each other knowing exactly what the other is thinking and sit down together as you start to swing. It was October, just like when you saw her for the first time. The sun was shining, the breeze blew through your hair and the sun hit Ellie's face perfectly. You've never been able to forget her eyes since that day. They were still as beautiful as if not more. She was the most beautiful girl in the world to you.

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader

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plusvanity · 5 days

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Hey Vanity!! I am very awkward and was nervous to dm this to you so I typed it out to send here cause it is a story haha!

So I was just at an amusement park for a trip I was fortunate enough to go on and I had this experience and immediately was like “omg I have to send this to vanity!” So I am the type of person to not care. I do whatever ride anyone wants me too cause I dont care. It doesent mean im not internally freaking out but its just whatever (this makes no sense I am sorry 😭) So my friends wanted to ride this hugeeee coaster. The literally premise of it is that it is the tallest at the park I agree even though I am terrified of heights and as I am entering the coaster it is four to a cart, so it was supposed to be me,empty seat,friend 1,and friend 2. That was the plan and thennnnn as I sit down I get a tap on the shoulder. I look up and A OLD MAN VARG VIKERNES LOOKALIKE IS LOOKING AT ME EXPECTANTLY. So I get nervous and move over a seat so he can have mine. Everything is fine or whatever though I am a little nervous being by some random guy. The ride starts and we are dragged up a talllllllll hill. I (being scared of heights) am clinging onto the lap bar with all my might and shutting my eyes so tight I see stars. Then friend 1 who has NEVER ridden a coaster like this in 10 years starts cursing out my ENTIRE BLOODLINE BASICALLY and I just let her go cause she is having a stress reaction and I get it so she was going ham on these swear words lemme tell ya and all of a sudden a deep voice goes,” I have ridden this like 106 times. So Im not very scared.” WALMART VARG WAS TALKING TO ME so I say “thats awesome buddy my friend 1 has never ridden these in her life and is yelling profanity at me if you couldn’t tell” he stops talking for a second and then we get to the top and friend 1 screams bloody murder and as we are about to decent he starts giggling at her screaming. I pass out obvi cause Im scared of heights.. and after the ride he talked to me some more and stuff which I dont remember very well but he was originally standing with these two young adult men like probably 21-22, one had long black hair, a kind of messy beard, and a black metal tshirt (didn’t catch the band) and another friend with light brown hair and a stubbly beard (also metal shirt but long sleeve) and I think they got seated in the very back. That was my experience lol I just found it quite comedic in the end!

I swear to gods, I never heard a 'normal' amusement park story ever

#there are Vargs everywhere #i had one in my high-school #i had one at the uni #I've seen one while passing by a church LMAOO #ask response

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stewykablooey · 10 months

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what do you think stewy's reaction was when kendall went to rehab? I definitely don't think it was kendall voluntarily going, but I also don't think stewy would've went to any intervention for kendall, even if he does recognize kendall actually has problems with drugs 🤔

hmmmmmmmm i actually Do think kendall went voluntarily, mostly because i genuinely can’t imagine anyone in his life who would care enough to force him to go (or have the emotional capacity to show that they care because i Do think the sibs cared/were concerned about his substance abuse but they definitely wouldnt intervene) except maybe rava, but a) i dont think kendall would listen to her and b) if she did it was part of an ultimatum that eventually pushed kendall to check himself in. unless you’re thinking about like, a court-mandated order but idk about the logistics of that, but then yeah, i do think that could be a way that kendall ended up in rehab. (i could also see connor trying to talk to kendall about going but kendall wouldn’t listen to him either and connor wouldn’t push) but Also, i think kendall really would go voluntarily as some kind of attempt to better himself, but not really in a healthy way, more in an all-or-nothing side quest before he got himself caught into logans orbit again, or in some complete toxic mind-shift of like ‘drugs are for the weak my body is a temple’ type bullshit.

anyway back to stewy: Yes, u are so right that he would not intervene, just like the sibs he obviously cares but he would never take it upon himself to get kendall to seek help because he feels that a) thats not his responsibility and b) its not his business. as close as they are and as intertwined as their lives and business becomes, i think stewy very much draws a boundary between him and kendall that they each are granted autonomy as an adult. whatever kendall does is his business and whatever stewy does is stewys business and they can meet in the middle wherever those things might cross, or just enjoy their friendship outside whatever those things may be. and this is for specific things, like rehab or kendalls marriage, which is also something im sure stewy wouldnt touch with a 100 foot pole. obviously the bigger picture stuff, stewy Does get himself involved in, like kendalls vendatta against logan, or trying to get kendall out of the company. but i think in a way stewy sees that big picture as much more viable, if he can fix the root of this, then all the things about kendall that he cant and wont touch will be better for it by proxy. if kendall could just be a normal billionaire without the roy family sickness then he could be normal about drugs, like stewy is.

so to finally answer your question lol: i think ultimately stewy saw as that, none of his business but also thought of it as pointless. i dont think he saw it as a bad thing and i think maybe he did hope something good would come out of it for kendall, but i think stewy never saw kendalls drug problem as a drug problem, i think he saw it as a logan problem, as a Roy problem, so he wouldn’t have had high hopes for this making any significant impact on kendall.

bonus: idk if anyone has even said this but i wanna get in front of it before anyone does, theres also no Goddamn Way that kendall going to rehab or kendall overdosing or kendalls substance abuse would e v e r make stewy think twice about his own drug use. i think stewy fully believes he is the smartest most perfect most balanced drug user in all of new york city and that whatever kendalls relationship to drugs is, no matter how sad or scary, doesn’t apply to him because he has the most perfect relationship to drugs ever (whether that is true or not)

#didn’t mean to get this into it but yeah #kenstewy #ask #anon #m

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tsubasaclones · 21 days

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Do big powerful wizards even need jobs? It feels weird imagining Clow Reed working at dennys or something

While not needed, I think it makes sense that she would feel like she should have a job, especially given how she saw touya growing up.

Ive always liked the idea of ccs only really being us seeing her starting to become a wizard rather than the whole journey of it. Sakura in her 20s trying to probe the multiverse ever since she met another version of her in a dream at the same time as struggling with work and adult life seems fun.

If there must be a ccs sequel, i wish it was this.

that's true but also like... you gotta afford life somehow right.

(one thing i've always wondered about clear card is where tf is kaito getting money from cause i don't think he's ever had a real job and he got excommunicated from his group so...??? how is he affording to continue moving around and shit)

i 100% agree about the idea of ccs only being the start of her being a wizard. i mean she has a shit ton of magic it's not like she's just gonna stop. and syaoran has his clan and all that so it's not like she's never gonna be involved in magic stuff again post-story

anyway i think 100% she could become some celebrity in the wizard world or whatever but i think it makes sense for her to have a normal person job too, cause she's got plenty of non magic friends and how are you gonna explain to them "oh im a wizard" when they ask about your job LOL

#clow reed working at dennys would be hilarious though #then again i feel like if he tried to work a real job he'd be like man this sucks no one here has magic i cant relate to any of you i quit #if she had like idk a magic related job i could see her having something working with magical creatures in general cause they all love her #and it feels like most the other wizards don't seem to care about the creachers outside of how they can use them #look. someones gotta advocate for them

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jazzydizzlefoshizzle · 1 month

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INTRODUCING... THE ONE N ONLY..! PUT UR HANDS TOGETHER 4.. *drum roll please*

Meeee! Its me! :3 look here I am!

i dont have locs anymore :'3 I actually belly flopped off a diving board SO HARD the little lockage i had came undone! Like the weezer song! >B] anywhoz

WELCOME TO MY PAGE :3 HEREZ SUM INFOS ABT ME ^^;;

My interests!!! (^∧^)

I LUV SAPPHICS!!! AND QUEER.. ANYTHING! >///< im sapphos apprentice fr

my favorite shows r animes that will ruin ur life and childhood cartoons!! ^_^ like madoka magica, death note, erased, adventure time, my little pony friendship is magic, chowder, fish hooks etc etc! >;3

My favorite artists are hastune miku!!! And nicki minaj and System of a Down! :3 and tyler the creator and lemon demon and tally hall and jack stauber and spellcasting <3

I don't like labels :P)) I like writing scripts, songs, drawing and singing and theater and film - i don't have an act in specific. I just do what makes me happy

I draw and make comics and cartoons! I love art and animation so very much! My dream is to be a well-known cartoonist for many different projects ^_^ I adore indie animation, too!! Bugbo and the amazing digital circus and big top burger are my inspirations currently >:3c

My dni

Basic dni info don't be racist don't be a terf no pro contact/anti contact zoos or maps no mspec lesbians yadda yadda all the normal stuff and if u consider urself one of those "I hate everyone equally" centrist dickheads then gtfo my traphouse, disrespectfully <3

ALSO im very much cringe coded so if u embrace "cringe culture" or are against furrys or gacha kids or just people being themselves and being happy without hurting anyone (keyword: WITHOUT) you can also gtfo my traphouse NO BULLIES ALLOWED! /srs

Also, pro shipping is a sensitive subject for me. If your ships are harmful or downright disgusting, dni. I know it can be a coping skill for trauma, but my acc isn't the best place for that sorry bud :/

BYF!

I'm autistic!!! :3 self diagnosed for now trying to get a medical diagnosis soon! So tone tags are very much appreciated! /srs

Hey! Im a minor!! Im 16!! Keep that in mind if ur an nsfw acc or centered around adult topics!! <33

I go by fae/faer prns mostly!!! She/her is ok too but i prefer fae/faer!! ^_^ I have some xenos like doggie/doggiez as well!

I'm down with the sickness /ref

... by that I mean I got a lot going on in my life :p living situation and mental illnesses, I'll just be posting whenever I wanna, no strict schedule

I'm super silly and still figuring myself out! So come along with me like the adventure time song n Diddy and watch me grow thru my shenanigans on this totally valid real and not social simulation of an app/website >:D

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1bringthesun · 1 year

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have any of you read “Dancing Girl?” gosh, it just made me sad. Mori Ougai is a really good author haha, hahaha. hah… h-

…

yeah i’m relating this to bsd! Mori. BITE ME!! ahem. so in this essay i will be talking about Elise and Mori’s relationship. i’ve already established i don’t see her as his “wife” or the object of his sexual desires, and i’ve also mentioned i like the “Elise is his daughter,” way of seeing things, however … well, there’s more than just that.

1) Elise represents his inner child

2) Elise preserves the memory of a dead lover and is his “partner”

3) Elise is a child-figure to him

those numbers will be reused in that order to mean the same thing later, but first, background and “Dancing Girl!”

so i think that, within the definition of his and Elise’s relationship, Mori embodies Toyotarou from “Dancing Girl” more than Kanei from “Vita Sexualis” (i think i learned which type of media went in italics and which sort in quotes some time in third grade, but it’s been entirely too long and therefore i’ve forgotten all of it and you’ll have to excuse my poor grammar if im messing it up). why, you may ask? well, first of all, Elise is literally from that novel. second of all, i’ve just skimmed vita sexualis (- an asexual) while “Dancing Girl” managed to catch my attention a lot more. plus, Mori was one of the characters that Asagiri explicitly stated he wanted to add in, and we all know just how evil Asagiri Kafka can be when he feels like it.

… why is the space so long ? why are these spaces different sizes?? this is really bugging me … but whatever, i’ll try my best to ignore it … (nevermind it looks perfectly normal when i post it i guess it’s just a. draft thing)

ahem, so, in “Dark Era,” Mori basically goes “damn Dazai you’re suicidal as hell! you remind me of myself hahah!” and i feel like that’s pretty concrete evidence Mori Did Not have a happy childhood (i mean, duh, considering he was trigger-happy to friendly fire as an important military man at 20 some years old) and was likely suicidal in the past too, to some extent. in that sense, the chains that tie Dazai down, if they’re Odasaku’s last words, are the Port Mafia for Mori. he cannot die as long as he’s sane and capable of leading the PM, because he’s basically the very embodiment of it.

⚠️SPOILERS FOR “DANCING GIRL!”⚠️

alright, onto “Dancing Girl.” i’ll give you a quick rundown. it’s basically about this college dude (25 or so) (haha that reminds me of the, “am i the asshole?” posts. i (M26) just fell in love with a girl (F18) of whom i’ve known since she was a minor and i was still an adult. i got her pregnant by some time after she became of-age, then i left her to pursue my career. am i the asshole?) (godamn it tai you just spoiled the whole novel) (i’ll put a spoiler warning up somewhere in the beginning) (bear with me) with depression who falls in love with a… looks at the parenthesis and sighs deeply.

he doesn’t see any point in anything because his life was just a glorified projection of his mother and school’s desires, so he starts being a little more hedonistic and learning about the arts instead of becoming a lawyer like they wanted him to. he meets Elise (her name) and basically immediately feels attracted to her in some way he can’t put into words (she’s 17ish when they meet btw) and starts teaching her things and basically acting like a sponsor to her. they don’t start getting romantic and/or sexual until some unsaid period of time passes. now i personally choose to interpret this as her turning 18 before they do all that stuff, but since it never explicitly says, well… yeah. Toyotarou is used to living his life in a cushy-ish manner as a child prodigy and what have you, but he eventually gives that away to live with Elise. that being said, his “giving it away” was less of a choice to be with her and more of a digression from a perfect machine into a person with his own stunted feelings.

she makes him satisfied, and he makes her very deeply happy, but eventually he chooses his career over her and she goes crazy because of how betrayed she feels- she really deeply loved him, after all. he pays her mother enough to keep her afloat and to take care of the baby he left in her stomach, and went back to Japan without another word. Toyotarou! you bastard!! (it’s not like he was without remorse, though)

anyway back to the numbers.

1) Mori’s past is pure speculation, but he was a military doctor ranked quite high as a very young man, one that didn’t hesitate to shoot someone on his own side no less (like i said) so it’s probably a given he didn’t have a stress-free childhood. this is an excerpt from “Dancing Girl,” in which i think explains the possibility that Elise represents the angry child inside of Mori that he never got to let out as a real child.

2) given what i said above, this also feels pretty self-explanatory. we basically only know two things about Mori, that he would do anything for the greater good (which is usually the PM/yokohama), and that he longs for a “partner” who will understand and not leave him. it’s possible Fukuzawa filled that role for a while, but Mori is a little unhinged and did some bad things out of obsession, which severed their ties because of Fukuzawa’s innate nature. Mori has called Elise his partner (tsuma, AKA person who stays by my side) (i know nobody says tsuma and means it that way but considering “Yatsugare san” exists (yes i’m looking straight at you, AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE), i wouldn’t put it past Asagiri to use tsuma in that manner) before and acts dramatic as all hell when she dies. it’s almost like … someone called Elise really DID die before?

3) this requires the least explanation. we already know Mori likes children in a non-pedo way, shown by things like how he helped Atsushi gather his courage in Anne’s room (which did nothing for him, btw) and his profession in the beast AU. but what sort of mafia don has a cute daughter?? that’s like ASKING for her to be killed. so Elise, the product of Vita Sexualis, is the next best thing he can have!

Elise also is a lot like the Toyotarou, while Mori acts more like Elise when they’re together. it’s just something i noticed watching the two interact in BSD and DG. the whole idea of having no autonomy is kinda Elise’s (BSD) thing, isn’t it?

my phone is now 20% and i have no charger. i have probably 69 viruses and also since i have apps like tiktok, wechat, and discord… you can imagine how much this poor device suffers, but i regret nothing. yahoo! hope you enjoyed my rant~

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #dancing girl #a german dancing girl specifically named Elise #bsd elise #bsd mori #mori ougai #Mori Elise #can i call her Mori Elise?? i mean she’s basically his daughter anyway so #Mori and Elise #toyotarou #god they make me sad #Mori is so traumatized and so babygirl #not all would understand #anyway i’m getting carried away even in the hashtags.. is this who we are???#AH MY PHONE IS AT 5% WHAT THE HELL.#okay i’m posting it now i hope this gets some attention because otherwise i might go crazy /j

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kalosconservationist · 3 months

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An Introduction

Hello! My name is Alex, and I am a volunteer conservationist! I grew up in Kalos, but travel around from region to region doing conservation work. I'm still learning, but hope to do this as a paid job once I have enough experience! I work with rangers, safari zones, and people just like you to ensure pokemon will be protected for generations to come!

I use he/they pronouns and I am 19 years old! If you don't want to interact with adults this isn't the blog for you.

I always appreciate asks about my work, but also love getting asks about my life and my partner pokemon!

Liam is my leafeon and my main partner pokemon who comes with me on most of my outings! I found him when I was about 11 as an eevee and we've been buddies ever since!

Gunk is my grafaiai! He got caught in a trap and I was sent out to rescue him. He wasn't able to be released back into the wild so I took him in! He's a bit of a mischievous little guy but I love him!

Fiona is my sweet little snom! I was doing some conservation work in the snow when she wiggled right up to me and curled up on my boot. Wherever I went she would wiggle on behind me, so she ended up coming home with me!

Olivine is my ralts! He's training to be a service pokémon to help me with my dysautonomia! He's super gentle and is the newest member of my team!

I hope you all have a great time on my blog!

OOC STUFF

I'm 19 irl, and my main blog is @inkfrogg! i use the same pronouns (He/They) as my muse! i'm very new to ask blogs and rp blogs and all that so please be patient with me! any OOC posts will be tagged with #OOC and started with "OOC //" so they're easy to identify!

Here are the rules of the blog!

Basic Stuff

No bigotry in or out of character.

No spam likes / reblogs.

Do not DM me links unless I know you. I will not click on them.

DMs from this account will be in character unless started with "OOC //"

Do not be lewd, seriously suggestive, lascivious or otherwise inappropriate with me in or out of character. This blog is meant to be accessible to everyone and I intend to keep it a safe place for all ages.

Be patient with replies. I am in college and things in the inbox may take a while to get to. That being said, don't be afraid to DM me a reminder!!

Interactions, Asks, and Mail

Pelliper mail: ON! I'm chill with it as long as the packages aren't anything inappropriate or dangerous!

Musharna Mail: ON! like pelliper mail, just nothing inappropriate or dangerous!

Musharna Malice: ON! just for the funsies! just don't do anything *too* distressing please!

Magic Anons: OFF! for now. subject to change.

Sentient Pokemon Interactions: OFF! i think my muse would be freaked out too much.

Evil Team / Cult Interactions: ON! muse is very willing to call them out on their shit though so be warned.

Fakemon / Fake Region / Crossbreed Interactions: OFF! they don't exist in this cannon.

Story Collabs: ASK FIRST! i made this blog to mostly interact with my buddies but im not opposed to hanging out with others!

In Character Hate: ON! nothing too extreme though, and follow the basic rules of the blog!

Overall just be normal!!!! I beg of you!!! Please!!!!

Also here's the current team! ignore any weirdness please, i don't typically draw pokémon LMAO

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threepoint14art · 2 months

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Ok so first of all i love reading your guys' tags always and forever, second of all @chocottang HIII CHOCOO (please do tell me if tagging annoys you!) You turned my braincell on, you asked such a simple and normal question and now you are gonna get lore'd about spring im so sorry- ok ok so answer here and then i start ranting about all the things ive done to this poor man if anyones interested:

He is not on the aro spectrum he just never really thought about romance for the LONGEST time. Rubbing my hands like an evil fly why would that be? Read to find out

Also while spring himself is not on the aroace spectrum i do present cami, owynn, bonnie and puppet to you humbly, the silliests ever

Basically, as you MAY have noticed, the guy has a lot of burn scars (shocking), that's because when he was little his house burnt down and his parents died and he got super fucked up, he's been in the foster system since he was like 10, no family wanted to take him in because his parents had him when they were super young and thus were disowned. So we start off strong with that, and it gets worse!

I wanted to make spring a little more unhinged because wowzers the sprintrap animatronic is evil, however his chill attitude captivated me, so i decided to make the unhinged him be his younger self, children are cruel adults are scary people in the foster system get treated as "a way to give people who cant have bio kids families" or "charity cases" instead of normal children with a lot of unnadressed issues who deserve a change to grow up with a semblance of normalcy. He was alone and scared and angry at life and thus tended to get into a lot of fights and to stealing stuff and such. Problem kid status + visibly scarred led him to never really finding a permanent home, not that he wanted one, because most of the adults in his life scared him and also wanted him to have a "new" life, AKA forget his parents and accept these new strangers as parents, horrible!

This little kid who is very scared and alone and wishes for nothing more than his parents calming him down again meets 2 even smaller kids and just, projects onto them. He started coping with all the stuff in his head through taking care of children and pretending it was also him who was being taken care of so softly and tenderly, the children being meg and fox. He just starts taking care of them and subconciously growing up really fast to get them the support and whatever they need and then out of literally nowhere hes 18. He's like "oh crap wth" Gets send off to the real world having BARELY graduated from highschool and with some money, he cannot bear the thought of losing any more people and just looks into becoming the other 2's legal guardian and gets them out of the system to live with him in the worlds cheapest house he could find

So what I mean is that he hyperfocused on being a caretaker and getting money and growing up and getting ten thousand things that the thought of romance was not even anywhere near his head, having FRIENDS was nowhere near his head. He had to find a job he had to enroll the other 2 into school he had to find another job he had to make sure their house didn't fall apart by the seams. Also fun fact, the more he grew up the more he realized he is a literal carbon copy of his dad, but visibly scarred! have fun looking in the mirror buddy

In his head, he does not really see himself as a full grown adult even though hes 24, and his weird thought of "adults being scary" still persists even though he himself is one, he doesn't like talking to grown people and that isn't helped by how he spent most of his life with Fox and Meg, he is not used to talking to people his age or older and he was too busy to actually process that romance might be something he wanted when he was just drowning in ten other thousand things already. As he got older and fox and meg also got older and got partime jobs his burden was lessened a lot and he was allowed to CHILL a little

So those 2 idiots in the drawing are vincent and leti,,, they might look like ocs and at this point they kinda are but they ARE based on the bg characters of Camarero and "Novia", they both also have their own can of worms to unpack it's insane.

Spring met Vincent at work, new coworker new hire and then Leti just stopped by sometimes to talk to vincent and he went thought ten billion crisis because "having a crush as an adult is so embarassing i need to be paying taxes"

So TLDR he had his first crushes ever at 24 because at that age he was actually allowed to chill a little and his brain finally had the room to process that romance was in fact, real. He also had to go through the "i like men???????? Im poly??¿¿" thoughts at 24, he shoulda've been at the club/ref

#ask response #NOT REALLY BUT FOR SORTING THINGS LMAO #sorry i went crazyyyyy so sorryyyy i love spring #anyways hes much chiller now hes so chill and clear pilled #fnafhs au #theres always a character people thought was an adult pensive emoji #he shouldave been at the club/ref

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lilacs-world · 4 months

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I feel like I’m chronically not okay but idk if I’m valid enough to label myself as chronically ill. I am able to work 40h a week but with the cost of laying in bed the rest of the day when I’m back home. In the weekends I sleep mostly. My room is a disaster because I never have the energy to tackle the chaos. I wished I was able to walk to work and back but standing for more than 15 min is already exhausting me and I get dizzy and lightheaded. I am constantly in pain, my normal pain level is on good days at a 2 on bad days it’s at a 4 or 5 but maybe I’m too modest about my pain due to fear of admitting I’m not okay. I am always tired even if I sleep usually enough. At times I feel more refreshed with only 4 hours of sleep hell knows why. I am waking up daily at 5:45am to get myself ready for 8am work. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be a functioning adult. I am scared of the moment I will unmask bcs im masking daily due to Audhd. Plus daily I’m confused because we are often switching and my quality at work at times fluctuating and my TLs wondering wtf bcs we know u know all the processes so wtf. Daily I feel like I know only a specific part of the processes and I have days where I ask so many questions that one of the TLs told me they are growing gray hairs bcs of me asking so much. The doctors in my country are shit when I mentioned suspecting we are a system they said nah it’s just ur anxiety. When I questioned if I have adhd my former psych said nah only kids can have it. My former therapist said yeah after unofficially diagnosing me with it. Autism I suspect that too and I got my confirmation more or less from my bf who’s on the spectrum as well. He got his confirmation he has adhd as well by me noticing lots of adhd things in him and he has now meds whilst me is in this godforsaken country that isn’t taking me seriously. I got my confirmation I have adhd when I took speed and realised for the first time "so this is how neurotypicals experience their life?" I for once had a train of thoughts in order and not a carambolage of luggage’s getting stuck in the baggage claim belt. I sobbed so hard. On good days I am able to remember and memorise lots of shit. But on bad days I barely anything. My body is out of control. I have pcos and it’s ravaging my body. I grow hair on my chin and arms and it’s making me uncomfortable and I developed anxiety about having hair in my face to the point over pluck and over shave it. My period is out of control. I either bleed for 2 months consecutive or I don’t have my period for 6 months. I am anemic due to it. I am such a pale human that I’m constantly being asked if I am okay. Oh yeah not to forget having an autoimmune disease since I am 2 years old. Having to deal with psoriasis break outs each winter where I end up being covered on my legs, arms , ass with skin patches of psoriasis. At times it’s even in my eyebrows and on my scalp. Each winter is a torture for me. I am battling with depression as well. Luckily this last year it wasn’t so overbearing and I felt more human than I used to in the past. Nonetheless my anxiety is ravaging and leaving me crippled daily. I sound ridiculous talking about myself rn bcs in my brain I feel like you aren’t this sick or unwell you are faking this you are a horrible human for saying all this things but I know it’s probably my internal ableism and the internal critical subconsciously developed voices of my surroundings telling me I’m not actually sick and I need to go to work even if sick etc. Sigh. Idk where I wanted to go with this whole post. I know you guys don’t see often a personal post from me or posts from me and more reblogs of stuff I enjoy seeing and stuff I wanna boost and stuff I find important or relatable or stuff that I think might make someone feel better and less anxious or feel seen. I hope this is fine. I hope being more real is helpful. Maybe I should do this rambling on my other blog @unfilteredrealities where I tried to talk about life in a real way , unfiltered. You can even send in your own submissions if u want to.

Anyway thanks for reading my ted talk.

TLDR: I don’t know if I’m actually chronically ill and if I’m valid enough to label myself as that and then I rambled about my life experiences with audhd, did, anxiety, depression, pcos, psoriasis and there are more but I’m exhausted.

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