#I don’t like being able to feel them

[okcoolthanks]

“Good” morning

#iam tired #I accidentally went to sleep at midnight and my eyelids are a weird temperature #I don’t like being able to feel them #also my hair looks weird #aweosme

[pinkgibbon]

anton chigurh goes to stardew valley

#every1 in the notes asking me why I made this 🙄 art isn’t about why! it’s about why not! why don’t you marry safe art if you love it so much #i got a better shirt for him eventually but i dont have a pic of it #roleplaying as him was the only way i was finally able to bring myself to do joja route #no country for old men #stardew valley #i like to think of him as being magically stuck there for an indeterminate amount of time and trying to survive w/o murdering the whole tow #anton chigurh #marnie stardew valley #i better not see ANY marnie slander!!! #how do u tag them #stardew valley marnie #sdv marnie #morris stardew valley #sdv morris #stardew valley morris #i was not gonna romance anyone obviously but i really enjoyed drawing that pic of him w morris so i got the marry morris mod and it is so #goddamn funny. just the idea of. anton chigurh x morris. me and friends r having the time of our life with it. i even made fanart. #which i may post later if i feel like it #my art #fanart #ncfom

[runningwithscizzorz]

I feel a deep sense of anger and grief for Palestine. I’m angry at God, at the world powers donating to those who are killing civilians, angry at people looking away and encouraging you to worry about yourself when people can’t even walk down their streets without being attacked. I’m angry that my friend donated, only for it to be stolen and taken by the soldiers abusing Palestine. I’m angry that I can’t do much of anything but tell you to at least CARE about the people being bombed and slaughtered. Please, if you can’t do anything please just CARE about these people and listen to their stories. Hold them in your hearts at the very least. Don’t pretend they don’t exist or just brush it off as “its been going on for centuries, there’s no point in stopping it.” I want to do more, I want to make people care and love those who need it, rather than continue spreading anger and hate.

These are real people I’ve drawn. Keep the people of Palestine in your heart at the very least please.

#two of my best friends had to run away from their homes because they were Muslim #it was too dangerous for them to stay #but in leaving they also had to leave behind large parts of their families #they tell me about their friends and loved ones that have died and how empty they feel to it #that they also feel a deep sense of hopelessness and guilt at not being able to help #I have a friend now who teaches me about the qur’an and how it talks about having peace and not being afraid in times like these #so please DONT BE AFRAID TO SAY SOMETHING #Please talk about this with your friends #please educate yourself on what’s happening #please please please just CARE about the people of Palestine #even if it’s scary and even if it hurts you #do it for those who don’t have a choice to be afraid or hurt #free palestine #palestine

[turtleblogatlast]

Headcanon that the boys were first introduced to Lou Jitsu through Splinter scrounging up an old movie to watch through a grainy projector. Splinter wanted to hype himself up at the time, to see a version of himself - however fictional - succeeding and being happy.

He watches, and smiles, mouthing along to the dialogue and outright whisper-shouting “HOT SOUUUP!” whenever it comes up.

Nestled in his lap are his four new sons, still learning the world around them and heavily reliant on their new father. They watch with wide eyes how lively their guardian looks, how happy he sounds, and they turn to watch the movie closely. Because, for as young as they were, they could recognize the source of their father’s joy.

So naturally, they come to associate Lou Jitsu with their father’s smile, and in turn, they feel happy themselves. To them, Lou Jitsu will always be a source of joy, and always make them smile, even if they forget why as they grow.

They’re not just movies for the four of them - they’re the distant memories of a warm lap and a smiling face.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rise splinter #rottmnt splinter #I’m in a turtle tot mood #the babiessss #I know a lot of people like to criticize Splinter’s parenting and like yeah he’s not the BEST #but despite his mistakes I genuinely think he did better than what could or should have been expected of him #like anyone else would not have been able to do it #he can be a little negligent and hurtful at times but I don’t think he was as absent a parent as a lot of you say he is #his flaws are there true but again - he loves his boys so much #that being said it’s no excuse for his mistakes and he should be rightfully called out for them #but sometimes I feel like people really overblow his flaws

[stardustdiiving]

Me explaining in terms of strictly how I read canon I think Nahida not severely punishing the Sages is just meant to convey that Nahida, even when wronged, is not a very vengeful or harsh person and makes the choice to be kind instead, but in my mind I have this idea of a Nahida interpretation which elaborates on that where her self punishing tendencies extend to her being someone who internally downplays her own experiences constantly, and as a result has a hard time feeling she’s allowed or justified in placing a lot of blame on the Sages for what they did to her So while she is following her own philosophies regarding teaching lessons/wisdom/etc in how to handle the Sages and genuinely doesn’t want to be really angry or punishing because of who she is as a person, her decision is also influenced by the fact she’s basically blocked herself out of grappling with how to handle people who hurt her by blaming herself for said hurt instead as a coping mechanism. And like this is all just me being insane about Nahida Trauma and not something explicitly implied in canon but also I really do think this isn’t a far stretch from her canon characterization especially when my vision isn’t to conclude that Nahida needs to be angry and vengeful but she should extend the kindness she shows others to herself and also every day I get tormented thinking about she was the mental equivalent of an average human child when the Sages found her and how they basically specifically discarded her for being a child and the idea of how Nahida would pick up on + internalize that and eventually need time to unlearn it

#nahida #genshin #fern.txt #fandomferns #fictional child abuse cw #anyways is anyone else here normal #see I think a sentiment most ppl get from nahdia’s character is correctly that she is kind despite being treated so poorly #but I want to explore her grappling with Why she does that bc she is genuinely kind #and I don’t think she’s struggling with moving on from things #but based off things she says word for word I feel it’s established nahida is very distressed by not being able to rationalize or #understand things that upset her #this is clear in both her SQs & her voicelines even down to her not liking seafood bc the unknown of the ocean #intimidates her. so I’d imagine she’s someone who responds to being mistreated by concluding #there must be a reason for it. and I actually have dialogue that backs me up here #bc when we first learn the sages have imprisoned nahida nahida herself basically says it’s fine bc her existence has #little meaning and she’s not good enough to be an archon. even as paimon is remarking how awful #the sages are for it and prompting nahida on if she’s upset w them #it’s not that Nahida isn’t insightful enough to acknowledge something as mistreatment #but rather she finds more comfort and a sense of control in having explanations for things #heck the reason she gives up her gnosis to Dottore is states in her char stories to be bc #she doesn’t want the lack of control that comes from a lack of information #nahida leaning on knowledge for a sense of control makes me esp sad when I think abt how #she does not have autonomy or agency for a majority of her life bc of her imprisonment n had fo rely on her #mind n ability to learn n gain knowledge #anyways to reiterate ks anyone else normal

[crazy-fangirl2524]

Andrew Minyard puts on his black combat boots and black armbands. He wears his black hoodie because Andrew is not like other boys. His newest teammate Neil Josten has an aura of danger that Andrew knows he is better off not getting close. But Andrew cannot help it. He is like a moth drawn to a flame. Neil’s untamed auburn hair that is never styled yet it is messy in an effortless way and his big blue orbs that must have a lot of hidden secrets. Andrew knows he should not play with fire but with that toned body Andrew minyard can not stay away.

Whatever, not like Neil josten would notice him anyways. He is the outcast in his teams and no one likes him. Neil josten would not care about him.

Imagine Andrew’s surprise when Neil josten joins him on the roof and shares his secrets. Andrew is right, Neil has a very dark past that is even darker than Andrew’s. Neil is involved in the mafia! But because Andrew is not like other boys he does not care and promise to protect Neil even though Andrew probably cannot do anything if anything happens. Neil probably has to be the one to save Andrew.

Neil also turns out to be loaded and he buys Andrew a car when his was destroyed and Andrew cannot say no to a Maserati.

Everyone else on the team is so shock when super attractive good looking Neil josten will choose to be with someone like Andrew minyard but Neil does not care and growls at anyone that says anything bad about Andrew.

#THIS IS SATIRE #SATIRE #okay this is satire pls don’t take this seriously #I have the idea to write like cringy wattpad from Andrew pov but the more I write the more I’m like oh no I feel like Andrew’s inner #monologue is exactly like that and I could not differentiate and had to try so hard lmao #I literally just have to tone shit up and like use cringy words and summarise the books and boom wow bad boy billionaire mafia Neil #and y/n Andrew!!! #I was low-key laughing out loud at how accurate this is tho like wdym this is exactly what happens in the books #from now on if people ask me what’s aftg about I’ll show them this #and that’s why Nora has amazing writing skills because imagine being able to write this shit in such a poetic way #and actually adding layers and deep meanings and it’s not dumb or cringe #anyways I love aftg and Nora sakavic #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #aftg series #aftg fandom #aftg incorrect quotes #andrew minyard #neil josten #andrew joseph minyard #the sunshine court #aftg thoughts #aftg reread #aftg shitpost #tfc shitpost #incorrect tfc #tfc textpost #aftg andreil

[crabussy]

the psychological horror created by Hasbro’s desire to sell more toys rather than honour the desires of the original creator resulting in an immortal alicorn princess of friendship doomed to watch her friends grow old and die without her is so interesting to me. by trying to cater to children more you have accidentally created a reality in which death of the main characters friends as she lives on for centuries is not just implied but confirmed. idk it’s fascinating to think about

#EVEN MORESO BY G5 #with discord in the comics clearly descended into misery without fluttershy #their absence speaks volumes #and I know kids are able to handle mature topics like death earlier than we often assume #but still it’s so strange to think about death of the main characters being canon and confirmed in the colourful pony cartoon #wild #mlp #major character death #character death #DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVED THE LAST EPISODE SO MUCH #it’s just !!!!! I wish twilight was growing old alongside them #I don’t like how much she looks like celestia too #she’s grown so apart from her roots it feels like it undoes much of her growth #at the same time it’s the best ending we could’ve hoped for all things considered #I JUST MISS HER ICONIC FRINGE

[timemachineyeah]

I think in the next Animal Crossing, you should have to earn your control over the environment. And I don’t just mean working to get terraforming, I mean, like, earning it before getting to decide where other people’s homes are and stuff.

Idk, the deserted island is fun but I kind of hope in the next one we’re back to being a new face in an already established rural community. And you can still progress to moving absolutely everything on the map and decorating each square foot and flower to your liking, but, like… these other people have lives of their own.

I like knowing a rando isn’t gonna move onto my carefully curated flowerbed and ruin my path, but I don’t like how much the villagers in ACNH feel like fashion accessories rather than neighbors.

#timemachine wuz here #acnh #animal crossing #also Isabelle should be mayor #also I know I said this before the last game but we should get to choose a biome #and maybe even change the biome later idc #it’s not that I am opposed to godlike control of town aesthetics #I miss being able to choose themes for public buildings like let me redesign town hall cowards #it’s that I don’t want the villagers to be just another piece of furniture #I want them to feel individual and relationships with them to matter #like in new leaf you had to have a good relationship with villagers before they’d request a public works project #so if you wanted to decorate your town you had to befriend your neighbors #and certain requests would only come from certain personalities #so you had to get to know ALL your neighbors #which gave you the reward or breaking through a cranky or snooty’s shell and seeing their dialogue change #not like the crafting recipes which might be personality locked but they’ll just give it to you #idk I just want to feel more cozy again. less Instagram more strange comedic zen garden with animal friends y’know?

[arohuacheng]

k sorry i’m legitimately so insane about pei ming and shi qingxuan though. pei ming as someone who’s not just a womanizer but someone responsible and dear enough to shi wudu for That Man to essentially appoint him as qingxuan’s guardian should anything happen to him… for pei ming to take that responsibility on whole-heartedly, trying to protect shi qingxuan and keep them out of trouble and lead them on the right path even from the very beginning of the story… he’s trying to keep her out of the whole mess with pei su he’s trying to make sure that she does what she needs to do to survive in heaven (she has never learned that one needs to be cruel and unjust to advance because her brother has done all the unjust cruelty for her) he’s trying to make sure that he fulfills that trust that was placed in him and that’s all before there’s even a hint of anything that would incapacitate shi wudu. and sqx sees this and she must know at least some of it but she hates him. just doesn’t like his personality. i am out of my fucking miiiind

#and then neither of them end up being able to fulfill their promise to shi wudu. #pei ming can’t protect her. shi qingxuan doesn’t let herself be protected by him. #and then in the very end it’s shi wudu who enacts the ultimate betrayal of his own requests anyway… #anyway. shi qingxuan who loves her awful brother but can’t stand his awful friend. #i don’t even know how to describe shi wudu and pei ming’s relationship but shi qingxuan sees it and goes 🙄 #but goddddd from the very very beginning you can see their relationship! #they are so tangentially related to each other and so important and yet unimportant to each other… #they’re both representations of a part of the other person’s relationship with shi wudu #and like. what do you do when your brother appoints his awful brother as your secondary guardian and that guy starts trying to fulfill that. #and that guy is general ming giang god of the north and god of love and known womanizer. and you are a girl with strong moral values. #i don’t even know how to express what i feel about them it drives me fucking insane though #talking #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #pei ming #shi qingxuan #tgcf sqx #tgcf s2 #tgcf spoilers #i guess? i mean. i tend to think that we’ve all read the book at this point. but perhaps that is not true fjskfjd #beefleaf arc spoilers

[vrronica-sawyer]

I love millymeryl and I love vashwood I just wish y’all let the four of them actually hang out and be important to each other instead of segregating them into couples who occasionally reference the other pairs existence

#finding fanfic is so hard #it’s like here’s vashwood but they say the girls names once so u know they’re off screen friends! #I’m fine with platonic polygun I just need it to be polygun #i feel like ppl want the portion of Trimax where the boys travel without the girls to be the entirety of Trigun #like the girls being there and being equally important to Vash waters down the significance of vashwood #but vash’s relationship with all three of them are equally vital to him learning how to let himself be around humans like this #like he wouldn’t be able to date wolfwood if it weren’t for him building relationships with the girls #idk just whatever Trigun ships you have I think if u don’t get how important The Four of Them are all at once ur misunderstanding a bit #plus it’s just a little iffy in general to sideline the female characters for a mlm ship but I shouldn’t even have to say that part out loud #had to complain bc the four fanfic I read that don’t have this problem haven’t updated in MONTHS pls help me

[halfricanloveyou]

ok ok ok like i thought “the chosen” would suck cause “blah another series about the life and times of jesus” like we GET it it’s been around for CENTURIES you guys make the same damn movie all the time

but it’s actually legit really good? lots of pretty good representation! not everyone in the movie is white. actual portrayals of jewish culture instead of just ignoring that part. disabled people. matthew being autistic. characters that aren’t just two dimensional. the people in it feel like real people. there’s actual jokes, jesus cracks a few and they’re really funny?? so far nothing hateful, no gay or transgender bashing. it calls out the church for being judgemental and hateful in a way that’s very tasteful

it’s not perfect tho. jesus is…still white for some reason? despite mary not being white? and no one else around him being white? no gay people in it which is kind of a bad and a good thing…but it’s a portrayal of jesus and the people around him as human. as real life people who felt things and made jokes and rolled their eyes and stuff. also the guy they cast as jesus is pretty hot as are all the disciples. which isn’t the point or whatever but i can’t say i’m complaining. it’s free online and i think it’s worth a watch!

#it’s an adaptation of jesus that is more realistic #ofc he’s perfect and doesn’t sin but the point was that he was loving and kind and considerate and people all wanted to be around him #he doesn’t hesitate to walk straight into the dangerous or sketchy areas #he genuinely connects with and loves everyone he meets #they take liberties ofc but none of them are bad and add to the series as a whole #also as always i’m still gay and transgender as ever so no trad catholics or whatever touch this pls #but as a christian it makes my heart feel warm #it’s taken so so long to get an adaptation of any kind that depicts jesus as the kind of man who genuinely loves the people around him #not as some deity but as a human being loves other human beings #he is very human in this. it’s something christian’s don’t like to talk about #but if he went around talking like they do to other people #he wouldn’t have been able to last 10 seconds in the areas he was at #he wouldn’t have been welcomed there #it feels more faithful to the actual bible then they ever make him sound in any church service i’ve ever been in #the chosen #seriously check it out! it’s a genuinely good watch #especially if you have an interest in religion in general #i thought i’d hate it but i love it #pls know i’m being genuine abt this #and also the dudes they cast actually could pass as the age the actual apostles and actual jesus were #instead of being like 40-50 lmao #and them being hot is like just an added bonus sorry i have eyes

[sunnibits]

also. also. (quickly putting on my beekeepers outfit to protect from the hive that I’m potentially whacking). thinking about izzy saying “blackbeard. it was us.” izzy telling ed that he fed his darkness on purpose, that he maintained blackbeard on purpose, because he needed him. thinking about how ed begs izzy not to go, tells him he can’t leave him. (he needs him). thinking about how ed could never truly heal until he left blackbeard behind. thinking about how blackbeard is really two people, not one. thinking about how izzy tells stede in season 1, “it’s my job is to make sure that edward is content”. how it’s been his purpose from the very beginning to protect edward, to help him be blackbeard, to be his right hand man. thinking about izzy saying “I wanna go”. thinking about all the meta from season 1 about ed keeping izzy in episode four on purpose, because he still needed him. thinking about izzy telling ed that he’s ready. ed is ready. (and it’s not just ed. izzy is ready too. I want to go. ed, I’m ready. I don’t need you anymore. I don’t need blackbeard anymore. you can let go). thinking about izzy looking up, seeing ed’s face, and softly saying “there he is”. (when was the last time izzy truly saw ed and felt at peace with it? when was the last time he didn’t search for something darker underneath? how soft were there faces then? how young, how unscarred was their skin?). thinking about izzy telling stede that he thinks he’s good for ed, that it took him a long time but that he sees it now. (he trusts stede now. he trusts him to take care of his eddie. he couldn’t trust him before, couldn’t see it, but he knows now. he knows he’ll be okay with stede). thinking about izzy using his last words to tell ed that he’s loved, that he’s surrounded by family. (you’re safe now. you’ll be safe without me. you’ll be safe without blackbeard). thinking about how blackbeard has always been a form of protection, of defense - now unneeded. but blackbeard was always two people knitted together. two scrappy boys in a costume, like a prey animal fluffed up to twice it’s size. a skin that can’t be shed without splitting them both apart. stitches that can’t be undone without bleeding.

they’re both ready. they’re letting go.

“there he is.”

#this got so long I’m sorry I hope it makes any sort of sense #I just have so many feelings about them… #LIKE. ITS NOT JUST ABOUT ED BEING READY. ITS ABOUT IZZY BEING READY. THEYRE BOTH READY!! #izzy hands #ed teach #blackhands #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #BLACKBEARD. IS. TWO. PEOPLE. ONE MOVES ON. ONE IS LEFT BEHIND. #listen. listen. I know people are angry about the ending. I know people feel like izzy just got killed off for Ed’s sake #and that feels like a betrayal. I get it. #but listen. listen. he really couldn’t move on. he couldn’t move on with the other half of blackbeard lingering in his shadow. #genuinely I don’t like it much either yknow. I wouldnt have made that choice #I wish they could have told a story of mutual healing and moving on seperately instead without death #but NARRATIVELY it still makes sane and I appreciate that #besides. hasn’t the character of izzy always been about loving Ed at his core? #this is him loving. this is him doing what he feels Ed needs. #he needs to be able to let go. and izzy is letting him. #finally. he is letting him. #it’s love. it’s all about love. #it’s fucked up and twisted sure #but hasn’t that always been them? #the finale discourse #ofmd finale

[ratskool]

I’m like Johnny Truant in the tags of every goddamn post I make or reblog on this site and I’m not apologizing. If you want me to apologize come over to my house and you can talk to the minotaur about it

#House of leaves #im literally going insane these days I should go back to journaling but I’m also afraid of how far off the deep end I’ll go #Literally I am losing it and I’m being serious #I’m so fucking tired of being lonely and being left out and not being able to make connections #Sometimes I feel as if im doing things without realizing and no one is telling me about it #Other times it feels like I must have something incredibly wrong with my face or body and no one will say anything #People make plans and don’t bother to ask me if I want to join and then when I find out there’s a group chat that all my friends are in #Except me and when I asked if I could join I was given a bunch of reasons that were frankly bullshit why I couldn’t join #Are they talking shit about me? I know everybody there it’s not like I am a stranger #Am I just a stranger in this world as I unllikeable? I try my best to be nice and charitable but what am I missing? #Do I black out and say things and do things? Am I more mentally ill than I know? #The only reason (or one of the very few) why I stay alive is because of my horses because I know they would miss me and I already feel bad #Not seeing them everyday #I’m tired of being the odd one out I’m tired of being entertaining when necessary #I don’t want my only friends to be horses because it further alienates me from the rest of society and I just want to be accepted I’m not #Looking to fit in I just want connection and friendship and I can barely seem to manage that #Maybe I’m just not worth it.

[patchodraws]

me seeing something vaguely TERF-y in a fandom subreddit: i wonder if OP is a terf

me after seeing plenty of SWERF and TERF posts on their account and having a very minor panic attack because i’m reminded of how demeaning their viewpoints are: idk what i was expecting

#anyways caitlyn kiramman trans so true #chel's life #personal #tw // transphobia #i feel kinda gross ugh #i hate being able to just see a vaguely innocuous post and recognizing terf dog whistles in them #tw // TERF #and it feels even less fun when they’re in fandoms i’m part of #and there are people either completely missing it #or in agreement with it #shit am i being radicalized ?? #i don’t even hate the concept of people not being attracted to certain body parts !! #like that’s normal !! that’s just how people are !! #but when worded in a certain way you just Know it’s a transphobe writing it

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap #bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU #lol idk why my head is so bad today #the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it #i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!! #but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do #oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse #sorry guys needed to rant #the inadequacy was strong today #something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like #i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me. #and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but #my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m #missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids #who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me #for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just— #sorry #that felt good actually #idk what came over me #imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags #sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh #okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is

[itspileofgoodthings]

have had a bit of my crash after flying too close to the sun this past week and you know what, it’s very annoying and also very good for me in a stabilizing way.