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damn-stark · 4 years

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Child of Ren Ch. 8

A/N- I like to think that the knights of Ren are like a motorcycle gang. I love em even if we got such little screen time with them :/ anyway hope you guys liked this chapter, I enjoyed writing it, take care out there and leave your thoughts below :)

Warning- swearing, angst, Poe fluff, Slow burn, another long chapter.

Pairing- Poe Dameron x Reader x Rey, Kylo Ren x Reader (platonic)

Takes place- after TLJ & before TROS

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———

“Alright, what do you see hon?” Poe asks just above a whisper over the Comlink

You scan the street once again, taking in the busy city street. Scum, thief’s, vendors and some nice civilians scattered every so often but that was rare, especially so low in Coruscant. The lower you got in the city, the more danger you were put in, especially when it came to you.

“Stormtroopers scattered all around the streets, but beside that just the normal scum.” You sigh pulling away your rifle blaster albeit not your own but one borrowed from base— you push yourself to your feet. “Theirs cameras hidden in every other building, the stormtroopers here you can pay off, but the people not so much. One sight of me and the whole lower level is after us.”

“You know as much as I don’t trust y/n, at least her contact wasn’t in Coruscant.” Finn complained over the comlink, making Poe sigh loudly and practically hear his eyes roll.

You can’t help but let out a small chuckle before jumping down to a lower level of the building and once again scanning the area, pulling your scarf over the lower half of your face to attempt to hide as much of yourself as you could. “I’m just warning that if die here or get captured their will be hell to pay.”

Poe lets out a genuine laugh, the cockiness behind his voice clearly heard over the comlink, “well if you’re scared you can hold my hand, I promise I won’t let go.”

You smile under your scarf and can’t help but roll your eyes in a lighthearted way, for a moment just thinking of accepting his offer.

“Pfft scared, me? Have you met me? you can hold my hand if you’re scared.” You dismiss his offer and zoom in closer to the busy street, keeping a watchful eye for anything or anyone suspicious.

“I’m not scared, but I might just take you up on that offer sweetheart.” He says with the same amount of cockiness or even more than before.

“Focus, what else do you see y/n?” Finn questions sharply, all sort of amusement disappeared from your face. You didn’t need him to tell you what to do, you were already doing it, you could multitask. You were trained by Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren after all; but of course he didn’t know that. Neither of them did.

“More and more stormtroopers, all heavily armed and armored. We need to be extremely careful, theirs in no doubt also Bounty Hunters hidden among the crowd. And theirs no doubt they’re all here looking for me. Hoping to catch me for the reward.” You informed them both as you got up and secured your weapon behind your back, taking in a deep breath before jumping down into the alleyway.

“You can use the force.” Finn pointed out, almost like he was informing you on what you could do.

“Yes, I can, but one can never be too cautious. Looking over your shoulder has to become second nature. Learn that.”

“Has anyone told you that you’re overly paranoid?”

You muster up a small laugh as you shake your head, “not directly, why? Have you heard something?”

“Focus. No distractions, no talking to anyone, we just walk to our destination, get what we’re here for and leave. We can’t risk being seen.” Poe announces cutting the conversation Finn and you were having as they both climbed down into the poorly lit alleyway with you. “The person I know isn’t far from here, if we hurry we’ll get there quick.”

You respond with a small nod before pulling your hoodie over your head—moments like these were the times where you really missed your helmet.

“How do you even know this person, Poe? Sounds sketchy if you ask me.” Finn expresses to his friend, the same thought you also had. You never pegged Poe as the type to deal with..shady people, always more of a person that always walks on the right side and never the bad—Who knows? even if he did, you’re no one to judge his past.

Poe stays silent as he walks ahead, leading Finn and you before answering, “it doesn’t matter.” He answers rather bluntly, his tone in voice saying in all forms to drop it and ask no questions. Perhaps he’s just as shady or even more than you.

—

Wanted posters of you were decorating every wall, all saying the same thing ‘EXTREMELY DANGEROUS’ and ‘BRING TO THE FIRST ORDER UNINJURED’. It caused you to be paranoid, for your eyes to catch every small movement anyone made as you moved past them. No one could recognize you if you remained disguised, but that still didn’t mean that someone could or would at any moment if they stared for a moment too long.

“Damn hon, theirs posters of you everywhere, what did you do? who are you? A daughter of some important senator or King?” Poe questioned curiously as his eyes moved past yet another one of your posters.

You sigh nervously, “something like that.” You avoid Finn’s curious stare, focusing on yet another poster of yourself. This one catching your eye more than the others one had. You move your eyes back to see if Finn was still looking back at you, he wasn’t. Using that as your opportunity you fell out of line and moved towards the poster, your eyes fixated on the poster.

Once you finally reached the wall with the poster, you ripped the poster from the wall, your eyes widening as you saw something familiar drawn on your mugshot. A scar....just like Kylo’s. Your breath hitched and you gripped onto the poster, wrinkling the corner with a firm hold. Their was a form of similarity to the picture of you and him, if he was placed alongside it; the glare, the frown, the way you tried to project yourself as fearless and with no emotion, when in fact you—neither of you were anything but that. And yet it was a similarity that you couldn’t accept, one you tried to deny. One being that he wasn’t even related to you by blood and two..well..two being that you couldn’t accept that you were like him.

“Ren.”

Instantly your whole body stiffens at the sound of that name, your breath catching in your throat and fear slowly seeping through.

“Turn around. I can’t see you, but I can feel you.” The same voice says, making you spin around to try and spot the location of the voice, your eyes frantically searching the crowd for who it could be. “Don’t try and see me, feel me.” The voice projects louder. You hesitate and think of just running off to catch up with Poe and Finn, but before you could attempt to do so the voice called again; “I sense your hesitation. Don’t worry, you can trust me. After all I have a truth you seek.”

Poe said no distractions. This was currently one. A big one. You attempt to move away but as you take a step away you can’t help but reach out with the force, your curiosity getting the best of you. You continue moving, unconsciously going the wrong way, instead of going to find the guys, you’re moving towards the voice. The energy of the being growing stronger and stronger until—there. Finally coming to a stop in front of a door-less building, the violet light inside shining in a soft and almost calming hue.

A sound of someone shuffling inside, made your eyes follow the sound until you spotted a small blue Ardennian sentient. Your eyes searched the place and the sentient, looking for any sign of this being any sort of trap. Their was an urge to just leave, but then the sentient said something that fully caught your attention, “Y/N, daughter of Kylo. Please come in.”

Your eyebrows furrow at the sound of the comment, not having the energy the correct the sentient or ask how it knew your name. Either way your hesitation returned; “I should find my friends.” You speak slowly, your eyes heavily trained on the sentient before you turned them towards the exit, “they’re probably worried.” You move out the exit, but again you’re stopped.

“I see beyond what’s hidden and meant to be hidden. Truths. Pasts. Stories long forgotten. Flickers of futures.”

Your breath hitches whilst you remove the hood from your head and pull the scarf down, missing the way passing people looked at you. Before you turn to the sentient, your curiosity for your own hidden truths blinded you from thinking straight. Slowly you move towards where the sentient is seated, the curtain beads hanging from the ceiling lightly hitting one another as you moved through them.

Carefully you take a seat in front of the sentient, “what do you know?” You question it, the sentient showing a proud smile. It’s lips part to say something, but it quickly closes them, it’s white milky eyes rolling past your shoulder.

“Y/N! There you are!” You hear Poe exclaim frantically as both Finn and him walk inside. “I was worried. What the hell happened?” you look over your shoulder, and see him already close behind you, his hand wrapping around your arm to pull you to your feet. His eyes fall on the sentient and then the small blanket covered table, instantly getting the idea of what was going on; “it’s all a scam, just after your credits. Let’s go.” He whispers in your ear, offering the sentient a feigned smile as he began to pull you away.

“Not a scam. Anything but that...Commander Dameron.”

Poe and Finn stop moving, both looking at one another wide eyed after hearing information not given.

“Kyber crystals are priceless gems...luckily for you I don’t want what you hold, I just seek y/n’s full given attention.” The voice says. Quickly you pull away from Poe’s grasp and move back to your seat, the sentient once again smiling proudly and knowing. “I know what you seek. A past forgotten.”

You offer a quick nod, “yes. Can you tell me? Tell me who I am?” You speak softly, your voice giving off emotions not expressed on your face.

“Y/N, we don’t have time for this, let’s go.” Poe says to you as he comes behind you again, attempting to pull you back up, only for you to pull away and shoot him a glare.

“Just wait.” You hiss before turning your attention back to the sentient.

The sentient grabs your hands and slightly tilts it head to the side, the white milky in its eyes seeming to whirl as it talked “Child, what you seek is a past not meant to be remembered,” your lips part in disbelief, your eyes beginning to sting with tears, “what you seek you already found, it lies before you. Just let the light shine through to see clearly, when you do that’s when you’ll finally know.” You pull your hands away from the sentient and swallow thickly, your jaw and fists clenching tightly, as you get up to leave the sentient finishes, “but if you really seek who you were before, than that will be revealed soon enough.”

You respond with silence, pulling your hood and scarf back on. The answers you truly seeked not at all what you wanted to hear. It broke your heart, but you didn’t express such emotion, instead your eyes slid to Poe, “let’s go.”

As you move to storm out of the building the sentient says one more thing, one thing that really pisses you off in more ways than one, “let your past die.” Without another word you storm out, letting anger build up inside you, instead of letting your heartache seep and take over. Instead of getting the answers you wanted you were left with more questions.

As you noticed that you still carried your wanted poster from before, you looked down at it, a single tear escaping from you and hitting the poster.

Poe fell to your side, eyeing the poster before turning to look at you with a sympathetic look, “Y/N—”

“Just.” You pause as you catch sound of your own sharp voice. You let out sigh before balling the poster in your hand; “we’re almost arriving to your contacts location?”

“Y-yes.”

“Let’s hurry then.”

—

In a careful movement you tie the end of the delicate side braid that you took too long to do, carefully letting it rest on your shoulder as a small almost invisible smile grows on your lips at your job well done—considering that you weren’t used to braiding your own hair. At all.

A silent exhausted sigh escapes your lips as you lean in on the balcony, fidgeting with the violet kyber crystal in your hand. What the “all too knowing” sentient had said about what you seeked, only left more questions about yourself than before, and left you with no information on who you really were. When that’s all you really wanted, just who you were. But no, it gave you nothing but anger and some a deep saying that you didn’t understand.

All you wanted to do now was just leave, and be by yourself in the deep jungle, just your thoughts and you, but alas you couldn’t get that either as you waited for Poe’s contact to give you all the fuel you came here for. And as for being alone well that was short lived as you heard heavy hesitant footsteps come behind you, getting louder until they stopped beside you. And for some apparent reason your fragile mind thought it was Kylo who stood at your side, but you knew it wasn’t, but for some reason your mind instantly came to that conclusion, perhaps it was the boots? Right?

You didn’t have to look to your side to know that it was actually Poe next to you. His hesitance known not only by his sigh but the energy you read off of him.

His eyes travel your face, unknowingly lighting up as he saw you; “your hair...it’s picked up. It looks nice.” He compliments, making you hide your blush that began to grow, he then cleared his throat, “anyway, I’m sorry my friend is making us wait. Should be back with the fuel soon.” He quietly mentioned, still very hesitant as if almost scared to talk to you after what you had heard with the sentient.

You gnaw at your bottom lip before turning your head to the side and face him, “it’s alright.” You pause and show a feigned smile, “you’re lucky I’m a very patient person.”

Instead of responding with a small laugh or a smile, like you expected him too, he responded with a sympathetic look almost like he saw right through you.

“You okay?” He asks, and with that simple question it takes everything within you not to breakdown in front of him.

You simply nod, while you bite down on your bottom lip and turn away from him. “Yeah...I’m fine.”

He looks at you with a perplexed look, hesitance once again overriding his emotions. “I just—what the sentient said, just seemed to bum you out.” He struggled to say.

You sigh and stare down at your kyber crystal, “I’ll be fine,” again you pause. “I just wanted to know more and well I didn’t so...I’ll be fine.” You feel the confusion within him, the hesitance to ask something else. Scared that you might just turn him away and leave the conversation when he wanted to know more of the stranger within you. Knowing and feeling that within him, you turn your body to your side, facing him while still leaning on the balcony. You hesitate this time, but still manage to speak a little bit more of what he didn’t know about you.

“My past is complicated and something I’m not proud of, but also something I couldn’t control.” You inhale deeply and struggle to say what you were going to say next, while also carefully walking around revealing anything about your real identity, “I loved and trusted the wrong person. He left my heart and my mind broken..” you remain silent and keep your eyes on anything but him, as you tried not to cry in front of him.

He nods slowly, silence overcoming the both of you as his mind ran over what to say. Overthinking the thought of having been unknowingly pushy. He didn’t mean to at all, but as he saw how your face drop when you talked about that mysterious person he couldn’t help but feel bad for overstepping.

“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to overstep I’m sorry-”

“Its okay, really. I just..,” you don’t know what brings you to reveal your emotions, insecurities that you’ve had a hard time accepting to yourself since everything with Kylo went down; “I just-just feel lost...I don’t know, on who I am or am meant to be. The people I was with before took that away from me, the possibility of being my own person,” you pause and take a shaky deep breath, “And joining the resistance has been hard, I thought I was going to feel different, find myself, but I just feel like I’m not doing anything, I feel like I’m..” You blink slowly, your eyes flooding with tears, “..not worth anything there, like I’m just in the way; but I have nowhere else to go, the only home I knew before, well, he just isn’t that anymore.” Hot tears finally escape your eyes, unwillingly but they do.

You let out a shaky deep breath and finally drift your eyes to meet his gaze, showing emotions you never thought you’d show him any time soon. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overshare, I’m sorry.” You turn away again while wiping away the tears that wouldn’t stop flowing. Poe takes a deep breath, taking a moment to come up with the right answer. Knowing that if he said the wrong thing it could hurt you more, and well he didn’t want that. He was having a hard time seeing you so upset and vulnerable in front of him, he just didn’t want to ruin the trust you clearly had for him with a terrible answer.

“You are worth something to me...and you know clearly Rey, never let someone make you feel that way because you are worth something. It takes a while to know who you are, you’re young, you’ll know soon.” Carefully he slides his hand to place it on-top of yours, waiting a moment to make sure you were fine with said interaction, and when he saw that you only moved to sit up straight and didn’t pull away, he interlaced his fingers with yours, once again pulling your gaze to meet his; “and as far as being in the way? You’re not. You’re helping the resistance in more ways than you know, you have a home there, you always will.” He says carefully, offering you a sincere and assuring look, leaving the conversation at that and asking no further questions, even if he really wanted too.

He just wanted to know if the mysterious person you talked about before was some boyfriend or even husband he needed to look out for—but again you were too young to have been married, and well you carried no ring so it couldn’t be that. Perhaps a boyfriend? Or preferably ex-boyfriend. Even then all that didn’t matter at the moment, all that mattered was you. None of that was his business and if you wanted to tell him then you would. Hopefully. But as of now all that mattered was comforting you as best as he could.

So, carefully he brought his other hand up, wiping the tears from your cheeks, a small warm assuring smile decorating his features; “you might be a little mean, but it’s cute.” He continued saying, with a hint of cockiness behind his tone, before turning sincere once more; “But worthless? Far from it hon.” He moves his hand so he can completely cup your cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb.

A warm and shy smile finally grows on your lips for a second before if falters and you’re remembered of something, “I-I just...who I was before—you just won’t think of me the same—”

“Y/N, it doesn’t matter. I’ve done things I regret, but the best thing is not to dwell on them.”

He won’t think the same way when he knows who you really are. As much as he says the opposite right now. But you don’t argue against that as of now, all you do now is smile. It doesn’t quite reach your eyes, but it’s sincere especially after what he said.

He smiles in return, his eyes traveling away from your own to travel down at your lips before flickering them up again. You do the same as him, this time he leans in closer, stopping so his nose brushed against your own. You swallow back nervously, your eyes once again flickering down to his lips before blinking to meet his hooded gaze. Seconds later you ease into his touch, shoving your necklace in your coat pocket before bringing your other hand to place it on top of the one he had on your cheek, gently caressing his knuckles with your own thumb.

The only sound you could hear was each other’s slow breathing, a breathing that gradually picked up at the moment you two were sharing, at the feeling of your heart fluttering and a warm feeling down in the pit of your stomach. This same moment caused you to ignore the sudden familiar presence you felt through the force. It was strong but something you ignored because of the moment. You then slightly part your lips as you move closer, shutting your eyes as you do, your lips brushing against his own soft ones...

“The fuels here.” Finn suddenly announces, quickly making Poe and you part away. Your cheeks burning but still remaining calm as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, unlike poor Poe, who struggled for a moment, clearing his throat to try and ease the awkward situation this just turned into. His eyes only expressing fast emotions on the sudden and unwanted interruption. He had been so close and just like that it was ruined. He couldn’t necessarily blame his friend because one he didn’t know and two....well there was no excuse for two. He was upset that Finn had walked in at the wrong time.

Poe tried to play it off cool but he had failed at showing such attempt, moving past Finn with one quick glance, “Yeah, okay. We’re going.”

—

Collecting the fuel was surprisingly easy, something that Poe didn’t let live down. Comparing his friend with yours— at least Zater provided you with a secret exit, as bad as he was.

“Why do we have to walk all the way back? We couldn’t we have gotten a ride or I don’t know some speeder bikes, huh?” You groaned.

Poe sighed in annoyance, “BB8 is bringing your ship closer, we’re not walking all the way. But if you keep complaining then it will seem longer.”

You only let out a small hmph and continue walking.

“Aren’t you supposed be some trained assassin or something like that? Isn’t walking just below you?” Finn questioned from behind you.

You bring your finger up to correct him but before you could, their was that familiar presence again, stronger than before. You shift your head from side to side, trying to locate where the presence felt the strongest. You quicken your pace, shoving past the crowd of people, your eyes frantically searching past bodies, all the while your heart quickened in your chest and beads of sweat formed on your forehead, anxiety growing within you on who it could possibly be.

The presence only felt stronger the closer you got, and yet no one was seen, you keep shoving past people, maneuvering past hagglers and stands, the sounds of Poe calling you seeming to be heard in the back of your head. It’s not until you see a flash of black right ahead that you halt in your steps, your breath catching in your throat and your heart seeming to drop.

The sudden hand on your wrists pulls you out of your stupor. Realizing that it’s only Poe your shoulders drop, but quickly you put your guard up as you see a tall figure in all black stop a few feet away.

“Ky—” your whole face drops as you realize that it’s not the person who you were thinking it was, but yet someone else completely, probably equally as bad or even more. “Trudgen.” You mouth, moving your hand to fully grip onto Poe’s, guiding him to the nearest alleyway to move past the Knights of Ren, taking advantage that they hadn’t seen you yet.

“What’s going on?” Poe asked frantically, confused on your sudden action.

You don’t stop moving and look for the quickest way around to circle back to the ship, “the knights of Ren. They’re here.” You only look over your shoulder to double check that Finn is following.

Both Finn and Poe gasp at the revelation, Poe’s hand never leaving yours.

“Walking's not going to work anymore.” Quickly you remove your hood and your scarf, your eyes quickly searching for any form of transportation, until there. In the next street were a couple of speeder bikes that you were going to...borrow. “Let’s get on the speeder bikes, they won’t take long to find me.” Surprisingly neither man argues against your suggestion and hop onto the speeder bikes just like you. And as soon you do, you see Trudgen, Cardo and Ushar round the corner, their step quickening as they finally spot you.

Without any hesitance you rev up the bike and try and make a hasty escape back to the ship, ignoring the calls from the owners of the bikes, “you two better keep up!” You shout over your shoulder to both Poe and Finn, very carefully swerving past people diving out of your way. Looking over your shoulder you spot the knights already on speeder bikes of their own, so, in a quick solution you make a sharp right turn into underground train tunnel, jumping down into the rails and moving through the tunnel, immediately feeling Finn’s hesitance and Poe’s excitement but also a small amount of fear because of where you were currently riding in.

“Poe, Finn I need you both to speed up, get out of the tunnels and make it to the ship!” You command loudly.

“What about you?! We can’t just leave you!” Poe argues as he rides at your side.

“I’ll catch up, I just need to get them away until you guys find me.” You leave no room for arguments and suddenly slam on the brakes, Poe looks over his shoulder and you immediately see his glare for your actions and decision, not at all agreeing with it but following them nonetheless.

Making sure Finn and Poe were out of the tunnels you continue racing down the tunnel, picking up your speed only for the knights to catch up as well. Even if their face was hidden behind their masks, you knew that they were smug about what was currently going on with them chasing after you.

“Boys!” You salute them as they ride beside you, causing them to all too quickly try to make you lose balance on your bike to capture you. But at sight of them right next you is when you realized that it was just three of them riding beside you and not six. Shit. Kuruk, Ap’Lek and Vicrul were missing. Not good. At all.

In attempts to contact Poe and warn him on the three missing knights, that were most likely out there chasing them, you got out your comlink and try and talk to Poe, but the comlink was suddenly flown out of your hand and left behind in the rails. You shoot Trudgen a cold glare and all he responds with is a tilt of his head and a quick shrug. Cardo suddenly tries to slash your bike, but at the last second you manage to swerve out of the way, and kick Ushar off of his bike to move to the side and out of the tunnels as you see a trains headlights shining ahead.

Once you make out of the tunnels you go back to the busy streets, swerving past people and mentally apologizing to them. A loud groan leaves your lips as you see Ushar and the other two knights pop out of the tunnels, all alive and well...yay. Anyhow you force pull Ushar’s Vibromachete to your hand, and don’t double think to swing at any of them as they ride beside you. As Trudgen ducks your swing he pulls out his Vibrocleaver and swings at your legs, but you manage to swerve, avoiding his swing. You smirk at his failed attempt, but the smirk doesn’t last long as you spot Poe appear from an alleyway.

“What are you doing?! I told you to go—”

He quirked his eyebrow and shot you a cocky half grin, “I wasn’t going to let you have all the fun!”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes, all the while you bit back your smile, a smile that didn’t last as Ushar uses his club to blast your speeder bike, causing you to lose control and fall off your speeder— you groan as you roll on the ground, landing on your back to only groan more

“Ow.” You groan, well that was going to hurt more the next morning—quickly you jump to your feet, ignoring the pain from your scrapes. Poe sees what happened and tries to help you, but you motion him to just continue riding forward, however he doesn’t and neither do the Knights. “Stubborn men. All of them.” You hiss.

All four of them make a sharp U-turn and ride towards you. You only grimace and begin to sprint towards them, a smirk growing on your lips as you see Ushar ride towards you in a faster speed. As he’s just a few inches away you quickly grab his speeder bikes handle whilst you shove him off, flipping the bike over as you swiftly swing your body over and land on the seat and ride towards the ship. Poe sees what you did and only stares wide-eyed and impressed, his mouth agape before he has to turn and chase after you.

Finally the ship comes to view, albeit you didn’t know if it was Finn and BB8 or the other three Knights. Hopefully the two you had came with though—the ramp opens and you wave Poe to speed ahead of you as you manage to slash Cardos bike and make him crash to the wall, only having Trudgen ride at your left side. As you try and cut him off, a blast flies his way, hitting his speeder bike perfectly; you snap your head to see Finn with a blaster in his hand. It takes all your will not to smile at his successful hit. Alas it’s your turn to get on the ship and finally leave this city planet, so as you try and do so, Poe already has his hand outstretched to you, his face contorting into one of worry and anxiety as he sees you jump onto your speeders seat.

You try and keep your breaths slow and steady as you take step forward and onto the handle bars, your hand already outstretched to Poe. He keeps mouthing ‘come on’ to you as he feels his heart race in his chest, in both still very impressed and scared for how this jump could turn out. You lean forward and push down on your feet, before jumping off the bike and towards the ship just a few feet away. You feel your fingers graze Poe’s and as he was about to wrap his hand around yours, you were shot and pulled back harshly. “NO!” Your eyes go wide and in a blink of an eye you crash on the ground, your eyesight fading to black and your head pounding sharply.

The last thing you see is Trudgen pick you up before it all goes to black.

—

“Ughh.” You moan lightly, your eyes fluttering open, “the hell?” You groan as you begin to feel pain at the side of your head, and well your whole body really. With very precise caution you slowly sit up, grabbing the side of your head and wincing all in the same while. Instantly you’re met by Ap’Lek’s skull like helmet in your face. You pull back and your face scrunch’s up; “shit Ap’Lek your face scared the hell out of me.”

“You can’t see my face.” Ap’Lek rebutted in a low grainy voice—no thanks to his helmet.

You simply shrug and shoot him an icy glare, “all the same. It’s still ugly.”

Before he could answer, snickering is heard entering the same space you were in. “Little y/n, I see that the rebels haven’t changed the good part of you. Thank the maker. Am I right boys?” Trudgen comes up beside Ap’Lek. “We’ve missed you, little sister.” You shoot him a deadlier glare, before standing up inches before him, you try and take the blade that hung from his belt, but you soon figure out that you’re chained up. “Sorry, precautions. You understand, right? I’ll let you go when we get to Kylo.”

You sit back down and scan the dark area, finally your mind capturing where you were, the ‘Night Buzzard’ great. Quickly your mind begins to go into panic as you realize you’re alone and that you’re missing two other rebels. Trudgen notices the panic in your eyes and tilts his head slightly to the side, and clasps his hands behind his back. “Don’t worry, the rebels you came with, are here...not for long though.” He snickered making you jump up to attack him, but only to be aggressively pushed back down. With a simple wave, Ushar comes in with Poe and Finn in cuffs, and seeming to be unharmed. Thank the stars.

“Y/N! are you okay?!” Poe begins, but quickly he’s shut up by a harsh pull down. You part your lips to protest but then Trudgen begins to click his tongue, pacing back and forth menacingly, obviously something on his mind.

“Who knew our little y/n could be friends with scum such as you two, hmm?” He crouch’s down in front of Poe and Finn, on obvious smirk hidden behind his helmet; “you know before she used to relish in killing people such as yourselves.” The boys only looked up at him confused on how he knew such information about you. You shuffle in your seat uncomfortably, something Trudgen notices and huffs out in amusement.

“Before. Keyword before. Before I knew what the first order did to me.” You hiss, leaning forward with a narrowed look, “before I found out you killed my mother.” The words slipped out your mouth, part of you forgetting Finn and Poe were here as your anger quickly grew. An anger that you didn’t care if it got out of control, all so The Knights of Ren payed for what they did.

Trudgen pushes himself to his full height and stands in the middle, watching you carefully before speaking, “mother? kid, you don’t have one or don’t you remember she abandoned you.”

You shake your head, “no, that’s all fake, I know now. You’re all liars. You killed my mother.” Poe and Finn just watch the scene playout, neither wanting to get in-between the drama and obvious history with the knights and you.

“Me? No I couldn’t have.” Trudgen shakes his head, placing a hand where his chin would be. “You know what,” he points to you, “actually I do remember something, little y/n and a pretty women...ahh yes now I remember. It was actually Ushar who killed your pretty mother.” Your eyes go wide and you jump to your feet, your head snapping to Ushar just a few feet away. He only shrugs like if it was just something ordinary and common, like it was nothing. It wasn’t nothing to you. Quickly with the anger within you and the built up revenge you run towards him, flipping over him and wrapping your chains around his throat, wrapping your legs around his waist to get a better hold, whilst pulling tighter and making him struggle to pull you off of him.

Ap’Lek, Cardo and Vicrul watch in amusement, while Poe and Finn have no choice but watch these events unfold, neither of them knowing how to react. After a couple minutes Trudgen claps his hands and let’s out a feigned laugh. “Okay enough! That’s no way to treat your brothers in front of our guest y/n, you know that. Kylo’s taught you better.” Trudgen says as he breaks the hold you have on Ushar and flings you off to the wall using the force. “Sorry, she takes after her father in her...anger.” As soon as Trudgen notices once again the confused reaction Poe and Finn give him (mostly Poe) at the revelation, Trudgen nods his head and walks to you, grabbing your arm to pull you to your feet. “You haven’t told them?” He asks in too much amusement.

He notices your silence and change in demeanor, the way you kept your eyes down instead of on your friends, finding his answer. You swear you can see his grin shine through his black helmet as he takes too much joy before revealing something you were too scared to. “Listen and rejoice, for you are in the presence of blah blah whatever they say— anyway Your little friend here is none other then Y/N Ren! Daughter to our Master Kylo Ren,” he pauses and wraps his hand around your chin to make sure you were looking at your friends; “or as you may know her, The great Child of Ren!”

You quickly rip away from his grip, not before noticing the way Poe’s reaction was; his mouth agape, his eyes wide in bewilderment, confusion and realization..maybe hints of betrayal? you wouldn’t know though, you didn’t have the will to read more to his reaction as you felt hurt that he had to find out the horrible person you were before. Finn though, his reaction was less surprised like the news weren’t news at all, it was like something he already seemed to know.

Trudgen then turns to Poe and Finn, “don’t blame little y/n for keeping such a secret, after all she takes after her father in that. And well brainwashing has got to do something to your head, doesn’t it y/n?” Trudgen continues with a taunting tone, making sure you were listening.

“He’s not my father! And never will be!” You growl.

Trudgen brings his hands up feigning innocence, “Oh, haha okay sorry, correction stepfather.” he pronounces the last words slowly, knowing that the words were hurting you; “anyway. Are you going to introduces your brothers to your friends? Or should they introduce themselves, one by one, hmm?”

“You’re not my brothers.” You grimace, making Trudgen put a hand on his chest, faking to be hurt by your words. “Ouch, that one hurt. After all we’ve done? You have to know that killing your mother was just us following orders, you understand that right? No hard feelings?” Kylo said the same thing...just following orders. Perhaps you didn’t have the same love for the knights of Ren like you had for Kylo, but that still didn’t mean you didn’t care for them, they were like family to you after all.

Taking your silence as an answer he moved next to Ushar by the doorway; “anyhow, enough chit chat, we have work to do.” Again he turns to you and this time he gets a vibroblade from his belt and throws it to you so you could catch it. “We’re taking the traitor here back to base.” He turns to face Finn, his smirk heard through his voice, “they’ll love having you back home, just like little y/n here.” He then turns back to you, placing his hands on his hips, “now about this rebel and his droid companion,” he points to Poe and a poor deactivated BB8, “do you want to kill him? Or should Ushar here? You know he enjoys that stuff.”

Without a second thought you charge towards both Ushar and Trudgen, swaying the vibroblade close to their throats, “touch them and I’ll kill you both.” You threaten them, a hard glare meant for them both. “Just let them leave” You glance back to Poe, before focusing on the two men in front of you; feeling your heart shatter in your chest for what you were going to propose, “let both of them leave, the droid too. Let them leave and...I’ll go back home without a fight.” You swallow thickly, trying hard not to let your demeanor drop and show how upset you really were at the thought of returning, but if it meant that Poe, BB8 and Finn were going to be fine then it wouldn’t matter, you would do it again in a heart beat; “please.”

Trudgen turns to Ushar and then to the other three, silently agreeing to an answer amongst themselves. Ushar simply shrugs his shoulders and that’s all Trudgen needed to pull the vibroblade from your hand and turn you to face Poe and Finn...one last time. “Only because you asked nicely.” He whispered to you, “we’re only letting all of you leave, because it was by the mercy of the ever so great Child of Ren.”

Poe opens his mouth to say something against your decision, the confliction he felt seeping through his facial expression, and as he was going to speak you interrupted him; “don’t come back for me Poe. Don’t. Please don’t.” You beg, your voice cracking as you struggled not to cry. Poe doesn’t say anything and stays quiet, keeping his eyes locked on yours before you turned away.

“Might want to kiss her goodbye, chance is she isn’t going to remember any of you when you run into each other again.” Trudgen tugs you towards Poe and Finn, raising your face to them, “no? No goodbye kiss?” He grips onto your cheeks tighter and turns you directly to Poe, “you? I know you want too.” He waits for a moment and forces you closer. Poe looks down at you, but you can’t find the nerve to meet his eyes, too afraid of reading hate in him after finding out who you were, you only mouth ‘I’m sorry”, before you were pulled back. “No? Good lad. Who knows what might’ve happened, you know, we’re just protective over little y/n.” He pushes you back so Ap’Lek could catch you in his arms.

Trudgen then instructs Kuruk to open the ramp, following by uncuffing Finn and Poe and pushing a deactivated BB8 off the ramp and to the open ramp of the ship you came on. “Bye boys, thanks for taking care of y/n. Hope she at least remembers one of you after her head gets put back in the blender.”

Poe glances at you one last time and this time you meet his gaze. His eyes frantically search your own for a sign of this being a distraction so you could escape, but as soon as he noticed you stay still and shake your head, he knew it wasn’t. He hesitated but he continued walking until he got on his ship, he stares at you longingly before closing the ramp, his figure slowly disappearing until the ramp door covered him completely.

A shaky sigh escaped your lips as you saw the ship fly away. Their was no doubt in your mind that the choice was the right one, making them leave was the right choice, you couldn’t bear with yourself if they died because of you. Telling them to not come back for your was...the right choice—why would either of them want too anyway, after they found out the truth. You were a horrible person and you knew they thought that, your mind had to keep thinking that, keep thinking that they hated you...that Poe hated you for what you hid. Thinking that helped with your hope of him coming to take you back, him coming to stop you from returning back to the first order. You didn’t want them—didn’t want him too, and yet you hoped he would.

But he wasn’t going to rescue you. He wasn’t going to stop you from going back...

A/N- so tell me do you guys want Poe to be mad at reader for hiding who she really was?? or do you guys want him to be understanding??

Tagged- @jennibradley , @xxrouge-lexxx , @daniellajocelyn , @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo , @star-marvel-fangirl , @leilei-draws , @briesangel @lanatheawesome , @madamepsicose, @constantdisgrace , @1-800-depressedlesbian, @commondazy , @logiclies , @robindoesntloveme , @we-all-are-strange , @fandom-addict-aesthetics

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