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firsttimewriter92 · 1 year

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Schilling for your thoughts Part 1

König x f!reader

Summary: You meet a peculiar man at your favourite bookstore and after talking to him a little bit, you wonder if you´ll ever see him again

Part 2 here Part 3 here

Word count: 2.538

Warnings: bit awkward, lots of fluff, German speaking, light cursing, pining König, military talk

Authors note: Yes, I am one of those who believe that König is a ginger, freckled, mighty sweetheart. (I was trying to find this amazing fanart I saw of him that basically started this fic, but I can´t find it again!! I´m sad; It´s so good) Only slightly awkward but he knows how to let someone know he´s interessted. He´ll only unleash the beast on the battlefield, that´s it. I will die on this hill!! Social anxiety, yes. But he´s not completely incapable of interacting with a person<3

Happily you skipped through the door of your favourite little bookstore. Bell chiming over your head, you saw the owners head appear from underneath the counter, instantly smiling at you.

“I just put them on the shelve,” she winked at you. “Shelve 12, row 10.” Rushing by her you squealed a thank you in her direction and hurried into the back of the store. You had been waiting for this book for ages. When you found out your favourite author was releasing a new book after almost 6 years of abstinence, you immediately let Lucy the owner know. This morning she called you excitedly, telling you the book finally arrived.

You made your way over to the back of the store. It was packed with ceiling high shelves, little tables and armchairs scattered across the room, most of them in front of the three large windows. You loved spending your time in this controlled area of chaotic furniture choices, colours and smells of coffee, old and new books and slightly dusty air.

Usually you favoured this establishment not just because of the atmosphere and Lucy´s motherly warm nature but also because most of the time, it was pleasantly empty and quiet. Quiet it was this time as well but you couldn´t help but notice the man sitting in one of the armchairs in front of the windows. A huge volume in his hands, his face almost buried in it. Something about the way he was sitting seemed odd to you. Not being able to put your finger on what it was exactly you shrugged mentally and made a beeline towards shelve 12.

Grumbling a little you remembered the row number Lucy gave you. 10. Great, you thought. You didn´t have to hide them that well so I could be the first one to get a copy, Lucy. Craning your neck you looked for the bright red and silver book back you knew your newest little treasure would have. There! You grinned and hopped a little as you whipped your head around the room, looking for the step ladder you knew Lucy kept here somewhere. Not being able to find it immediately your impatience took over. With a little grunt you began pushing one of the armchairs towards the shelve. “Damn it, Lucy. Why do you have such an obsession with antient furniture?” You cursed quietly under your breath. “So heavy!”

“You need help with that, Miss?” A quiet voice asked behind you. You whipped around and saw that the man you noticed before had lowered the picture book and was looking at you curiously and maybe a little amused. You weren´t that short but it was undeniable that you wouldn’t be able to reach your object of desire unless you managed to move the heavy chair. Grinning a bit flustered you stopped pushing the piece of furniture and sheepishly you answered. “If you wouldn´t mind. This chair is really heavy. I don´t know where Lucy put the ladder and without it, these books up there are out of reach.”

The man’s eyes twinkled for a second as his gaze fluttered upwards towards the last row. “Not necessarily” he said with a friendly, tight lipped smile. The next moment you found out why you thought his sitting looked so odd in the plush chair. He bent his knees to get up and they definitely rose above the angle of his hips. You tried not to stare, really, you did, as the man rose, rose and rose higher and higher until a massive body unfolded from the chair, standing, stretching for a second and then slumping in on itself almost comically. His shoulders hunched and head slightly bent downwards he made his way over to you, observing your reaction with a careful glance. You understood why immediately. 6´10. That was your best guess. With a warm feeling in your belly you noticed that he was trying to make himself smaller.

Don’t comment on his height, don’t comment on his height, you thought and tried to school your features. He´s probably heard it all! He seemed to appreciate your silence and little smile.

As he stood next to you, you noticed that your head didn´t even reach shoulder. He was looking at the books at the highest point and you got the chance to observe him a little closer. His hair was a fascinating colour. A rich auburn glow leaning heavily towards red. He had tied it into a low bun at the base of his neck. Little whisps of it escaping and curling against his temple and forehead. Fascinated you saw that his eyebrows and even his long lashes were the same shade. They framed slightly droopy eyes the colour of…Blue? Green? You couldn’t really tell from your angle. His nose was long and slightly curved, accentuating a full upper lip and a strong, stubbled jaw. He had an almost regal look to him. That was if he didn’t stand there slouching.

You hadn’t realized while appreciating his features that he had slightly turned his face towards you. Smiling shily he quirked an eyebrow, seemingly waiting for one of the comments he was definitely used to. When he realized you weren´t going to comment his smile stretched into a boyish grin you just had to reciprocate. Doing that you quickly noticed two more things about him. His canines stood out sharper than you had ever seen on a person, giving him a bit of a wolfish look that for some reason made you heart stutter in your chest. The other thing was a faint white scar reaching from his plump upper lip up to his nostril. You recognised the scar of an early on fixed cleft lip and knew that they tended to pull the lip slightly upward on one side. In his case though, especially when he grinned like that it wasn’t that noticeable. It gave him character.

He cleared his throat a bit awkwardly and snapped you out of your little stupor. Catching his eyes you saw how an adorable dust of pink covered his cheeks and the tips of his ears, making the scattering of freckles around his nose even more enticing. Stop. Staring. At. Him.

He nodded his head towards the books and reached out one of his surprisingly bulgy arms. A long finger tapped the back of a black and grey one. Looking down at you questioningly and not saying a word he quirked an eyebrow. Biting your tongue and smiling mischievously you shook your head. He nodded and studied the books again, his finger gliding over the spines of them. Halting again at a brown, faux leather bound massive copy, he again gave you a quick questioning look. This time however with a playful smirk pulling on the corner of his mouth. Liking his little game more and more you crossed your hands behind your back and began to lean back and forth on your heels, again shaking your head. He hummed and huffed in mock annoyance making you honest to god, giggle. You weren’t the giggling type! What the hell was going on?!

You had already realised that he wasn’t a man of many words so you played along for another two attempts of his until he finally tapped on the spine of your desired book (he damn well knew which one you wanted from the start). You nodded excitedly and he chuckled deep in his throat awakening goosebumps all over your arms as a result. He pulled the book out and slowly handed it to you. You took it in your hands carefully and full of awe, eyes sparkling as you brushed your fingers over the name of your favourite story teller. “Thank you very much” you breathed and gave him a brilliant smile. Again the tips of his ears went bright red but his voice was strong when he said “No worries. Happy to help you.” Only now you noticed the slight accent. Interesting, you thought.

Pressing the book happily to your chest you looked up into his face. “I see you like medieval blacksmithing” you said and pointed to the huge book that he left on one of the tables. He stood a little more erect and nodded his head quickly. “Yes” he said excitedly as you both walked over to the pair of soft chairs. “It´s so fascinating. Hardly believable what they accomplished without modern technology. Beautiful craftsmanship too. Look here”, he opened the book and pointed at the depiction of a beautiful Viking sword. His enthusiasm warmed your body and something in your chest began to pull yourself towards him. Without realising it, you both had sat down next to each other, the huge volume in the middle. Turning page after page, he showed you many more fascinating facts and pictures, all the while talking animatedly.

It seemed like you had to revoke your statement from before. He was a talker. Once he was comfortable.

Time seemed to stand still. From time to time you glanced at him as he spoke softly about different types of iron compositions. Although his height was intimidating, he was far from that. At least here with you. You guessed he was in his late twenties or maybe early thirties. When he showed you a particular picture he moved the book closer, leaning over the arm of the chair closer to you.

He smelled divine. Musky, yet sweet. Earthy and somehow crisp. A serene scene developed behind your eyes. An early spring morning, wet with dew clinging to sweet smelling crocuses. Only the heavy fog wafting over the ground an indication that winter was still holding on. And while you looked at his profile your skin erupted in pleasant chills as you imagined the first clear rays of sunshine breaking through said fog, illuminating the delicate process of nature’s awakening.

It was like his presence and voice opened the floodgates of your own imagination. You felt yourself becoming helplessly attracted to him. The pull in your chest becoming stronger by the minute.

Suddenly you weren’t looking at his profile anymore. He had turned his head, looking into your eyes. Silence spread between you. A comfortable one. Enamoured you tried to figure out the colour of his eyes. Blue, you noticed. With a hint of green. Seafoam. Or maybe not? Jade green with a dusting of light blue. Maybe that was it. You found it impossible to look away. And so did he. His gaze was on you. Your eyes, your nose, your mouth, your eyes again. They looked curious and gentle.

None of you realised how much you had leaned into each other. With your noses almost touching, a blaring alarm suddenly made both of you jump back into your seats, hearts hammering wildly. Almost panicked he fished through the pockets of his jeans until he pulled out his phone.

His eyes went comically wide and in a flurry of powerful limbs he clambered upright. “Oh verdammt, verdammt” (damn)he cursed as he pulled a worn leather jacket over his broad shoulders. Your heart fluttering when you recognized the words. “I´m so sorry. I´m terribly late. I have to go.” You felt your stomach drop in a weird way. Walking towards the front door he gave you an almost pained look full of hesitation. You stood there almost as helpless, not wanting him to leave.

“Wie ist dein Name?” (What´s your name?) you asked a little hesitant. His jaw went slack and he gave you a look of surprise and pure adoration before showing you his lovable canines again in a grin and answered. “Du kannst König zu mir sagen, Maus.” (You can call me König, mouse)

You gave him another beautiful smile, touched your chest and gave him your own name. He rolled it around on his tongue and you were sure he could see the tremor in your hands. Your face felt like it was on fire, your knees weak. With a lift of his hand and a small wave he opened the door to the store and turned around one last time. “Ich hoffe wir sehen uns wieder, ___ -Maus.” (I hope we´ll see each other again, ___- mouse)

True to the little nickname he gave you, you squeaked beyond flustered but nodded your head enthusiastically. His eyes blitzed happily and then he turned and began jogging down the street in a hurry.

Your mind an absolute mess and head swirling you turned towards the counter and swallowed.

One elbow parched onto the wood, her head leaned into her hand, Lucy tapped the acrylic nails of her other hand slowly on the counter giving you the most shit eating grin you had ever seen on her.

“Don´t” you said with a sigh. She blew a disbelieving raspberry and started laughing. “Are you kidding me?! Of course I will!! What in the shit was that!? Since when do you speak German and who´s horse was that?!?!?! My sweet child, you two were so into each other you didn’t even notice me over here!” Her wide brown eyes stared you down while you tried to hide your flustered expression.

Walking over to her you leaned over the counter and lay your head on it. Lucy still tried to control her giggles. “I don´t know, okey? He was just…he got my book off the shelve and then…medieval blacksmithing…Grin...EYES!” you groaned out almost exasperatedly.

“Oh deary, I noticed. You were back there for almost two hours. I thought for a moment you ditched me without paying.” You stood up straight again and gave her an unamused look. “You know I´d never do that.” Lucy nodded good naturedly. “Of course I do but seriously, how is it you speak German?”

“I don’t speak that much, honestly. Most of it is self-taught. I just…like it” you shrugged. “Well, HE obviously did too” Lucy winked, her impossibly white teeth shining. You groaned again but couldn’t hide the massive grin.

“You need to come into the shop every day now in case he comes back” your friend said while pouring you a cup of coffee.

With a huff your heart sank again. “I can´t,” you said in a small voice. “I don´t have any more vacation days this year and they really need me on base.”

Lucy tutted and looked a bit miffed. “You know, one would think that a military base would have more than one chief mechanic for their helis and shit.” You snorted at her offended tone and your heart grew several sizes for your friend.

“Tell you what” she said in a determined voice. “Next time he comes in, I´ll give him your number. NO buts!” she held her finger in your face and swirled it, crunching up her adorable button nose. “It´s not like he´s easy to overlook.”

You grinned and nodded your head in defeat. It wasn’t like you didn’t want him to have your number. Of course you did. But with all your duties on base, you didn’t know if you would have the chance to give it to him personally. So you just hoped that the man named König would somehow stumble into your life again. As adorably as he did this afternoon.

_________________________________________________________

Weeeeeeell? What do we think? Part 2? I do have an idea for a mini series so let me know if you woul´d like to read that ;) There will be smut if you like. Let me know if you´d like to be tagged and check out my account for more spicy and fluffy stories.

Thank you very much for reading <3 If you´d like please interact with this post. Comments, liks and reblogs always make my day. Your opinion matters greatly. Only with feedback can I improve :) I´d also like to thank TikTok for feeding me König content so religiously that I had no other chance than to write this

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topgun-imagines · 1 year

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Day Off

Requested: yes

Summary: Bradley spends his day off helping you feel better while you’re on your period.

Word count: 1.0k

Warnings: periods. Mention of blood. Cramps.

Pairings: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x wife!reader

The second your eyes fluttered open that morning, horrid cramps began to wash over you in waves. It wasn’t unusual for you to have horrible period pains. The last few months you had been blessed with less pain, and you now realized you were a fool to think that something had permanently changed. Now, the pain was back 10 times stronger than it had been before. You let out a loud groan and climbed out of bed, heading to the bathroom to take care of yourself. The pain only grew more intense as you made your way into the bathroom.

Once you had finished up in the bathroom you returned to find your husband sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He grinned when he saw you, mustache lifting up slightly. You could only offer a small smile in return, the pain migrating into your lower back with each step you took. When you reached the bed you were ready to collapse into it, prepared to spend your husband’s day off cuddled up with him in bed. You could have cried when you saw the large red stain on your side of the bed.

Bradley instantly noticed the shift in your demeanor. The tears that lined your lashes that weren’t there a moment ago caused his eyebrows to draw together. His eyes followed your down to the large spot on the white sheets. The pilot cooed softly, instantly understanding why you were so emotional. He climbed out of bed before making his way over to you. Winding his arms around your waist, his chin rested on your shoulder as he hugged you from behind. He pressed a kiss to the side of your temple. When he offered to clean it up for you, you instantly began protesting, insisting that you could do it yourself. “It’s okay, honey,” He murmured against the shell of your ear. “Let me help you.” The low timbre of his voice was almost enough to lull you to sleep while standing. You nodded softly.

Your husband directed you to the couch. He pressed a kiss to your forehead as he laid you down before heading back to the bedroom. You lay comfortably on the couch, waiting for him to come back. You would be damned if you weren’t able to spend today cuddled up with Bradley. You decided that the couch would just have to do for now. Your eyes fluttered shut as you settled into the cushions. When you heard the telltale sound of the machine turning on, you smiled quietly. It seemed as if there was nothing that Bradley wouldn’t do for you. The thought almost made you want to cry. Stupid hormones.

Moments later you could hear his footsteps as he entered the room. Slowly, he made his way over to you before sitting on the coffee table in front of you. When you felt his thumb begin to trace delicate patterns into the soft flesh of your cheek, your eyes fluttered open slowly. “Hi honey,” He murmured quietly. “How’re you doing?” You leaned into his touch, causing him to grin softly.

“The cramps aren’t as bad,” You spoke quietly. Bradley’s fingertips began scratching your scalp, causing your eyes to flutter shut once more. He muttered something along the lines of ‘that’s good’ before you spoke again. “But now my back really hurts.” Your husband cooed at you softly. Before you knew it, Bradley was motioning for you to turn over. He helped you maneuver onto your tummy, careful not to put too much pressure on sensitive areas. Then, his thumbs began needing into your lower back, putting a delicious amount of pressure right where you needed it. You let out a loud, satisfied groan as he worked the knots out of your back. Bradley could only grin.

You stayed like that for the next ten minutes. Your head was buried in your arms while your husband continued to work his thumbs into the sore spots of your back. When you let out a particularly loud groan, Bradley dug his fingers in harder, applying a perfect amount of pressure while not hurting you. Over the last few years, Bradley had perfected the ability to work out every sore spot on your back. Needless to say, you were eternally grateful for it. By the time he finished, you had lost track of time, losing yourself in the glorious feeling of his skilled fingers pressing into your skin. Now he was simply rubbing your back softly, hands moving up and down in a soothing manner.

Moments later he tapped your hip, pulling you from your dream-like state. He seated himself behind you, arms winding around your waist and large hands splaying across your lower stomach. You instantly sighed in pleasure at the relief that came with his warm hands. It constantly amazed you that Bradley was practically a furnace. In moments like this, however, you would never complain. His body heat enveloped you, casting a cozy feeling over both you and your husband. His lips met the shell of your ear as he spoke quietly. “Get some sleep pretty girl,” If you weren’t so instantly tired, you would have swooned at the pet name. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” He murmured, pressing one last kiss to the spot behind your ear as he allowed his eyes to flutter shut.

You settled in, enjoying the lack of cramps. This was exactly how you wanted to spend your day. Bradley was curled up behind you, his soft breaths ghosting over your neck softly. You could hear him begin to start snoring softly as he allowed himself to relax with you, content in spending the day doing nothing else but spending time with his wife. You relaxed back against him, smiling slightly as his arms tightened around you subconsciously. One of your hands settled on top of his, tangling your fingers together as you finally allowed the temptation of sleep to pull you under.

a/n: Hope you enjoyed the short (but hopefully cute) fic! Thank you for reading! Requests are open.

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alonetimelover · 1 year

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Fade To Black

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, ep. 3 (yes, all that is happening here too), implied SA (nothing explicitly described), talk about suicide, angst, drugs consumption, feels

summary: YN loved Joel more than anyone ever. Joel was selfish and scared. They both made mistakes. They both said too much and not enough in different points in time. But it all led them to Bill's town and aftermath of what had happened, understanding something very important - love isn't always forever.

word count: ~ 7,3k

a/n: finally got over the fear of writing for joel... hope you like it x

part 2

“I love you, Joel,” she said, admiring his face - scarred, dirty and with wrinkles adoring his forehead and area over his eyes.

There could be - there was - no one else that she could love more. No one after the whole world went to shit. Not her ex-fiancé that got infected the day of the outbreak, not her ex-boyfriend she shot after he was ready to hurt the child - Riley - she was taking care of in the QZ. Not her parents, who left her when she was five years old. Not any of her foster parents - there were more than 10 couples. She couldn’t really remember all of them.

For years she had thought she wouldn’t be able to love anybody. And then she met Joel. And she fell in love.

“You’re good, YN. I think Joel’d like you.”

“Don’t be stupid, Tess. I’m not good for your job, I’m a nurse not a fighter or smuggler. I can stitch you up after a bad run but there is nothing more for me to do on your escapades with him,” she answered, laughing quietly.

“I think the opposite. Just try, he’s not gonna bite you, and if he tries I’ll deal with him.” Tess smiled.

He didn’t bite her. From the moment he saw her, he deep down knew - she was going to change his life, him. The breeze of fresh air that she provided in the polluted world he’d been living in for over eight years. And the smile she greeted him with. The little twinkle in her eyes, saying more than her words, showing him her true self, the one she wasn’t yet ready to show.

She was going to change his life.

And she did.

“You’ve become soft, Miller,” said Robert on one of their meet-ups. No things to trade what annoyed Joel, putting him on the last strand of patience towards this excuse of a man. “That doll is making you weak.”

Joel scoffed at him. ‘Piece of shit’, he thought. If not the thing Robert promised to trade over with him, he’d kill him on the spot. Or not. Two years ago he would demolish him, rip him. One year ago he’d disembowel him for all the shit he made pointing out. Now? Maybe if he said one more word about YN he would.

“You’ve got my stuff?”

“I have something better. It-”

“I don’t need anythin’ better. I need my thing,” Joel pressed, standing up from the bench. “Either you give what I came here for or I’m leaving, no pills for you.”

“Pussy whip,” Robert scoffed, not being able to say another word, having his nose now broken.

“My books, you have ‘em?”

“What the fuck, Joel?! What the fuck!” Robert was cursing at the older Miller, trying to stop the bleeding. “You fucking dickhead, you fucker!”

Joel didn’t have time for this. It was already 5:50 and the time to walk home was much longer than 10 minutes. He was going to bribe guards once again for not following curfew. But most importantly, YN was waiting for him, probably - for sure - worried sick, he promised to be there at 5 at worst.

“You’ve got 10 seconds to bring me what’s mine.”

Robert, still cursing at Joel, trew all the books that YN had listed to Joel over the years. Her birthday was coming up, and it was the only thing that he came up with to surprise her with. Plus, a trip to Bill and Frank for a nice dinner that Frank had suggested last time. Maybe he would find some flowers along the way to give her as well.

“Wasn’t that hard, was it?”

YN remembered those birthdays being the best she ever had. Better than the one where she got her dream bike or she got accepted to medical school years before the outbreak happened. All the books she’d already read were one more time for her to enjoy, thanks to Joel. She finally had something to read to the kids she was looking after at the makeshift kindergarten she had founded.

The trip to Bill and Frank, the flowers Joel picked up for her, made her forget about the pandemic. For the first time since 26th of September 2003 she forgot there was something called ‘pandemic’. Joel gave her one, normal day she didn’t know that she had craved so much.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Is it working?” Joel smirked, giving her yet another one of the field flowers he'd been picking up since they passed the hill, strolling towards Bill’s town.

“I’ll let you know sometime. It may be.”

“Glad to know I still have game,” he mumbled, looking around - always making sure they, she was protected and safe.

“Does it feel strange to you? Giving flowers, celebrating?”

“A little. I’ve never thought I’d ever give flowers to a beautiful woman again. I’ve never thought I’d be able to feel anything ever again. Not after -”

“It’s okay,” she stopped him, knowing that the topic he was referring to was taboo. There was no obligation for him to start talking about what changed him so much during the outbreak day. If he started he would feel too guilty to talk to her for the next two weeks - it already happened once. “Thank you for doing it, I appreciate it so much.”

“You’re my guardian angel, ya know?”

“And you’re mine.”

They were together for a year and a half when that conversation happened. Conversation that no one would believe could be held with Joel Miller. The monster, the killer, the smuggler and the QZ fear-inspiring man. Tess didn’t know this side of him, nor did Tommy. Joel reserved it for YN only, not knowing when and where. Not really knowing why. At least then he didn’t know that.

She brought him peace he seeked since Sarah. Romantic and platonic love, he’d never felt before. Safeness, he thought, was required only from him and he didn’t have the right to feel it.

It was all a mystery. Man that could kill another person for looking wrongly at him or her, was almost running around the field trying to choose the prettiest flowers. The duality of the man was surprising even for the said man. It was also scary. He felt he was going to lose one side for the other, and he couldn’t let that happen. He was not going to be able to keep her safe if he let himself slip. Then it would be someone hurting her, or him doing it.

The sun above them was right at the zenith, burning their skins. The slight wind bringing a passing refreshment, made the leaves rustle. It was a beautiful day.

“Thank you guys for letting us be here,” YN spoke to Bill and Frank. “It means so much to me, to us.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, YN. There is always one day during the year that you have your birthday, isn't there?” Frank smiled cheerfully, kicking Bill under the table. ‘Say something nice’ was what he said with his eyes.

“Happy birthday, YN.”

And that was what he really meant. Because from all three of their usual visitors - YN, Tess and Joel, Bill liked YN the most. And it scared him. Somehow he felt the connection immediately, and after a year of knowing her - he thought of her as a daughter he’d never had. He slipped that once to Frank and it warmed his heart, because Frank felt the same.

“Thank you. Thank you so much, I couldn’t ask for a better way to spend this day.”

“If you guys want,” Frank carefully looked at Bill, earning a surprising nod, “if you guys want, you can stay the night. Shower, sleep in an actually good bed, have a drink. It’s - it’s our gift to you, YN.”

…

“We’ll talk over the radio, baby. I’ll visit whenever I can. I’ll find things to trade with Bill every week, I promise you. I won’t leave you. It’s not over,” Joel was repeating the same sentences over and over again for the last ten minutes. It was more to himself, saying he’d try and wouldn’t give up on them.

“I know, Joel. I’m not afraid of that. I - I’ll just miss you, very, very much,” she answered with tears in her eyes. She didn’t know why she was crying. Bill’s town wasn’t much away from Boston, they had radio to talk over with. It wasn’t the end of their story. Or maybe subconsciously she felt it was going to be the slow end? “I love you, Joel.”

“I know.”

“Promise?”

“On my life.”

“Joel! Are you listening to me? I’ve been asking you questions for the last ten minutes!” Ellie finally yelled at Joel, throwing him out of the daydream. Did it really happen the way he remembered it?

Hiking the same route he did with her, passing the field with their flowers, the plane and the little shop. Every step he took brought back memories. Especially that one. Those words had hunted him once. And they were doing it again. Rightfully so. He once again broke the promise to the person that meant to him the most.

“Yeah, yeah. What was the question?” he said still not all present with Ellie.

“I asked if they’re nice.”

“Frank is."

“And Bill?”

“He never liked me. Now he’s going to probably shoot me on the spot.”

Ellie stopped, “then why in the fuck are we going there? Do I need to remind you, I’m supposed to be delivered to some Firefly hospital? Joel?” She tried catching his attention, failing again. “Jesus Christ, we’re gonna die.”

“We’re not gonna die. I - I’ll just go up there without my gun, hands up and all that. It’ll be fine. You’re with me, it’s gonna keep me alive at least till I explain myself.”

“Why does Bill want to kill you?”

“I’m not a good man.”

“Yeah, no shit. Who is when the world falls apart?”

“You’d be surprised. There are people finding beauty and kindness even when the world goes to shit.”

“Stupid ones, for sure.”

“No,” he defended quickly. YN wasn’t stupid. If something, she was the smartest of them all. “Not stupid. Just good. There still are people like that.”

“So…that Frank?”

“Partially. He probably wants to kill me too, even though he once liked me. Or I thought so he did.”

“Is there someone else living there?”

“You ask a lot of goddamn questions, Ellie.” Joel had had enough. He already said too much. It’s going to hunt him in his sleep, as if he hadn’t had enough nightmares to deal with.

“Yes, I do. But, it’s the most you’ve ever talked to me. I call it a win. And,” she longed, smirking at Joel’s grimace. “I know that there is someone else in that town.”

He left that sentence flying with the wind. Was YN still there? She must have been. She wouldn’t have left Frank and Bill alone. Especially if Frank’s health would go worse than it had already been for a few years. She wasn’t like that. She would most likely lay over the wire for them to walk over her carefully than leave all alone.

“Holy shit,” Ellie exclaimed upon seeing the town. “Those guys are geniuses!”

Joel shook his head and opened the gate with the code that Bill had given him almost ten years ago. “Now listen, I’m giving you the rifle, and the pistol. You put it away, somewhere safe. Have a knife on you, I’ll too. Don’t stress over the words Bill or Frank say. Don’t attack them, on any condition. Understood?”

Ellie nodded her head.

“Understood?” Joel repeated, this time more pushing.

“Understood.”

Ellie did as Joel asked her to, and followed him two steps behind. It was crazy. The whole town was gated, flowers were blooming in their pots, flags waving at them with the wind and shop displays being tidy. It all looked like pandemic never reached this town, never touched this ground, infecting it. It was like the world in the early 2003. Or how she imagined it must have been before.

“Is that how towns looked before it all happened?”

“Some of them. It’s one of the nicest ones. There was a church nearby, clothing store, furniture one, too. You could find anything in minutes away from your home,” Joel answered frantically looking around. She must’ve been here. The flowers were taken care of, the lawns, trees and shops’ displays. It was all her, he knew it.

“Which house is Frank’s?”

“The white one, with most flowers around it.”

“You see that no one has shot you, yet. Maybe, maybe you’re not that bad to them?”

“Get behind me.”

They were right in front of the house. It was all wrong suddenly. The doors were opened and the swing on the porch was broken. Flowers in the blue pot that YN painted for Frank were gone, the pot smashed with soil surrounding it. Looking to his right he saw two new beds of flowers, adoring the freshly mowed lawn. On the left, ground was overcropped, grass around it likely burnt. Something happened there and it made him sick to his stomach.

He opened the fence slowly so as not to make it squeak. In no time he was on the porch, opening the door wider to get in. House smelled like oil paint and flowers, Joel recognised them as daffodils - YN’s favourite. With each step taken carefully, Ellie right behind him, he examined the space. It was clean. Too clean.

“Bill? Frank?” He finally let the words spill into the void.

“What the fuck?” Ellie said in awe.

Joel gave her a look, “stay here. Ya hear anything, you see anything -” he looked at the kitchen door, “yell.”

“What if they’re gone?” Ellie prompted.

‘There was no way,’ he thought, looking at the young girl. Bill and Frank were fine. YN was fine. He went into the kitchen not sparing Ellie another look. He needed to find them, he needed her. Walking towards their bedroom he repeated to himself that they all were fine.

“Frank?” he called, knocking at the door, and trying to open it after a few seconds. Locked.

Front door closed with a thud, making his heart skip a bit.

“Ellie?” Joel asked not too loudly, as to not draw too much attention to himself. “Ellie?”

He moved to the dining room where he left her, not expecting the sight before his eyes. Ellie held against her with a knife pressed tightly to her neck, fear in her eyes mixing with tears. Hands trembling at her sides, where another knife was near her stomach.

“Joel?” Ellie pleaded.

“Told you to stay quiet, kid,” she pressed the knife closer to her artery, blood slowly covering the blade, shallow enough to not cause any damage beside fear. “Listen to me or your blood is covering this carpet.”

She still hadn’t looked at him.

“YN,” Joel sighed, eyes big, looking at the woman who once shared life with him. “YN, baby-”

He took a step forward, “one more step, Miller and I’m sliding it across her neck. I’m warning you.”

“Leave her out of this, YN.”

“Don’t say my name. Don’t use it ever again. Ever. Again.” Her right hand, near Ellie’s neck, started noticeably trembling.

“Ellie, it’s okay. She’s not going to hurt you,” Joel tried calming down the girl, whose cheeks were already staining with salty tears. Her expression telling Joel to do something. Help me, Joel.

“You’re saying it like you know me.”

“I do know you. Point your knives at me, not her. She’s just a kid,” Joel almost cried.

It wasn’t his YN. He knew it. She knew it.

She let her guard down. Ignored the beeping of her alarm, informing her someone entered the town. She was too engrossed in picking up new flowers to arrange in the house. Thinking about how to change the pipe that was leaking under the bath, but also about the sink in the kitchen that must have gotten clogged over the last years that Bill didn’t have time to check it. Oh, how she wished he taught her more of his skills.

Seeing a random girl standing in her home, made her survival mode fly over ten. Just a young girl but in this world everyone could be a possible danger, a distraction for more powerful people. So she did what Bill did teach her, sneak up, threaten and get the information. She didn’t get a chance to do the last thing. He, he interrupted her. The man she had thought she’d never see again. The man she wished she'd never see again.

Just a little girl. Not older than Riley, maybe even younger. ‘A little girl, YN’ said a voice in her head. ‘Let go.’

She pushed Ellie away from her, making her stumble and fall on her knees near Joel.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” he assured her, helping her stand up. “Get behind me, Ellie.”

What could he do more? Did he still know her as well as he did back then? She must have changed. She did. He did too. There was no way he could predict what would happen if he let his guard down for even a second. But wa she going to keep it up when she was right in front of him? Right there to touch, to hug.

“What are you doing here?” She asked finally, pointing her knives, as he asked, at him.

“I need Bill’s help.”

She scoffed, “too bad. He won’t help you.” She shook her head with a dry laugh. If he truly knew her, the grimace on her face would tell him everything he needed to know.

“I need to talk to him,” Joel pressed, trying to take a step forward. Knife flying down just milimetres away from his boot. “Okay, I understand.”

“Stay back, Joel. Or better - get the fuck out,” she spat.

“Listen-”

“I won’t listen! Get out and don’t look back. You did that once already it can’t be that hard. Out!” She screamed at him, another knife flying towards his feet. “Get out, get out and go to whatever hole you crawled here from.”

Ellie started piecing everything together. She was the woman Tess briefly mentioned at the Fireflies building. ‘Get her to YN. Don’t look at me like that. Just take her. She may be done with you but she won’t let Ellie suffer. She’s too good. Take her to YN. Tell her…’ And then Tess whispered something to Joel, Ellie couldn’t hear. This woman, she must’ve been YN. Also the woman in Joel’s dreams.

“YN, YN, YN,” Joel was repeating over and over again.

“You’re mumbling in your sleep,” Ellie commented, noticing Joel sitting up on the worn-out couch. “Who’s YN?”

“Don’t you have better things to do?” Joel ignored his heart, skipping a beat. All those years and he still held on tight to her.

“‘What am I supposed to do? I’m sure you’ll figure it out.’ is exactly what you said to me. Well surprise, listening to your mumbling was the best entertainment.”

“Listen kid-” But Tess interrupted him.

“Where’s Bill and Frank?” Ellie finally broke the sound of only heavy breathing. “Are they here?”

“Ellie, shut up,” Joel said through his teeth, scared that YN would break her composure and attack her next.

At that moment he didn’t notice what Ellie did. YN looked at the old piano behind them, loving but hurt eyes gazing at the keys. It was the only thing in the house that was covered in dust, everything else was clean. But not the piano, and not the picture frame above it. A picture showing four people: Joel, YN and two men Ellie thought that must have been Bill and Frank. They all were hugging in there. YN and a slightly taller man smiling widely with Joel and the other guy sporting a hard look. Box of chocolates, half-opened lying next to the frame. One chocolate unwrapped, luring the flies. A vase with fresh daffodils next to it was the only cheerful thing there.

Oh.

“Fuck,” she whispered with dispbelief, earing a hard look from Joel. “They’re dead.”

At that YN trembled.

“What are the two of you doing awake at 6 a.m? I thought I’d get some sleep on Saturday,” YN laughed walking into the kitchen, where Bill was helping Frank eat his breakfast. “And you did food? Wow, I’m actually not mad.”

Frank smiled at YN, loving her easy-going personality. Her love for life.

“Surprise,” he said, after chewing the sausage. “What do you say we go shopping today?”

“Shopping?” She chuckled, choosing her own plate full of food. “Whose money are we paying for it with?” Absent-mindedly she reached for the cupboard with medicine, preparing Frank’s pills for the morning - the routine she’d been performing for more than four years now. “What’s the occasion?”

“It’s my last day.”

“Fuck,” YN cursed as the box with pills fell to the ground. Speechless, she looked at Frank and then Bill.

“I’ve decided. Last day and no, don’t say anything yet,” Frank stopped already fumbling over words YN. “It’s settled. No taking backs. It’s my last day and I want to spend it with the both of you, with the people I love the most - my partner and our daughter. So please, will you go shopping with me?”

“Frank, what? I - But - The pills, they, they’re working. You said you feel better, the back and legs don’t hurt as much as they did. You can hold the food better and - and the seizures stopped. You- you’re getting better,” YN was listing all the lies that Frank spilled on her over the last weeks. Hands still trying to pick up all the bottles and arrange them as they were.

“Stop,” Bill said, clasping her hands in his. Somehow he was kneeling next to her, a soft look in his eyes. “Sit down with us, we’ll talk.”

He led her to the chair she usually sat on, placed the food in front of her together with the tea from the herbs she grew in the garden.

“Pills don’t help anymore, YN. They never did. I’m sorry that I’ve been lying to you but - I don’t know. I love seeing you happy after all that happened to you. And my ‘recovery’ was somehow bringing the smile on your face back. It - it was selfish of me. I know. I blame myself every day for it. And I am sorry.” Frank took a pause to dry the tears of his cheeks. “I want you to spend this day with me the way I want it to be. Nothing crazy. Please,” he almost begged.

She just nodded her head. No way she would be able to speak for the next couple of hours.

And she didn't. Silently she helped Frank and Bill choose the suits and a dress for herself. Next she went to the garden and picked the vegetables for dinner that Bill was about to make. ‘Something special’, he assured her with a little smile, quickly disappearing in the kitchen. She picked up the meat from the shed and a few fruits for the dessert. If it was going to be Frank’s last day, it needed to be eventful and near perfect.

“What’s he cookin’?” YN asked Frank, fidgeting with the dress. It was the first time wearing something like it since 2003. It felt foreign. She spoke for the first time since the morning.

“Wouldn’t tell me but it’s not the time to eat, yet. I have a request.”

“Well, anything you want.”

“I - We want you to officiate our marriage. I know it’s illegal and it doesn’t fucking matter in this world but - I’ve always wanted to get married. It was my dream from way back. Can you?” Frank squeezed YN’s hand, as hard as he could (she didn't feel anything, Frank being that weak).

“Okay.”

It was perfect. It couldn’t be more perfect. Bill and Frank all suited up set together near the piano with YN standing before them with a terrible (Bill said so himself with a laugh) speech prepared. Tears, happy tears streaming down her face with each word spilling out of her mouth. Her friends - her dads - were doing what society even it its lowest wouldn’t allow them to do. But in a true Bill and Frank’s way they say ‘fuck it’ and live the way they want it. Even if it's only for a day.

“You may kiss the bri- fuck - groom. You may kiss the groom.”

“I can be a bride,” Frank giggled, softly pecking Bill’s lips. “Always wanted to know how it would be to have a wedding and the ‘you may kiss the bride’ moment. Not bad, not bad.”

“I’m considering divorce,” grumbled Bill, but smirking nonetheless.

“I’m not officiating that. That’s for sure.”

And somehow after having a laugh about it, the air around them got heavier, thicker. The realisation of what was about to happen in the next three or so hours consumed them. Mostly YN. Frank wanted it more than anything else. Bill, well Bill like always was an enigma.

“Is this what you cooked for him the first time?” YN asked, while they were eating the delicious dinner that Bill prepared.

“It is. My best pig for a stranger.” Bill shook his head.

“Love of your life,” Frank corrected. “You knew it back then. I know it.”

Bill just smiled, he did know it. As much as they argued through all the years they’d been together Frank indeed was the love of his life.

YN was watching them, a tiny smile adoring her face. She hated it. She hated this day. More than the one when Joel left her. More than the one when he stopped radioing back. More than the one when she understood he hadn’t really loved her. But if she couldn’t experience the love she’d been seeing in front of her for herself, she was glad she was able to see Bill and Frank do.

Bill came into the room with two bottles of wine.

“I saved the rest of the one we drank that day,” Bill announced. “You don’t mind I share it with Frank, and I’ll unscrew the one you like?”

“Not at all. All yours. I’m not particularly happy about drinking a century year old opened wine.”

“Nothing for me to fear. And you, love, are going to have a nurse just for yourself.” Frank smiled.

Bill poured the wine into the glasses, no emotion on his face. Two glasses of red and one of white which was immediately placed in front of YN. Sitting back, Bill took a long breath, shaking his head from left to right. He pulled out the bag full of crushed pills from his shirt’s pocket. Not giving them a second glance, he put them in one of the wine glasses. Stirred it with a teaspoon and slided towards Frank.

“Will it be enough?” Frank whispered.

“YN measured. Enough to do the job painlessly.”

“You’ll just fall asleep like any other night. Just - just a little bit quicker and -” YN breathed shakily. “For a bit longer.”

With two hands on the glass, Frank looked at Bill with sorrow. But his eyes, his eyes were saying ‘don’t you be sad, it’s all going to be okay. We’ll be together again.’ Then he swung the glass, and drank the drugged wine to the last drop. Bill was watching him with care, slightly absent.

When Frank’s glass hit the table, Bill mimicked his husband. Look, swing, drink, put down. Done.

‘He did it,’ thought YN, looking frantically between the two lovers. She shouldn’t have been surprised, Bill couldn’t live without Frank.

“Were there already pills in the bottle?” asked Frank, ignoring YN’s sobs across from him, paying attention only to Bill.

“Enough to kill a horse. I - I trebled the dose YN told me to use.” Bill pointed at YN, looking quite sorry for not telling her his plan. “This isn’t a tragic suicide at the end of the play. I’m old. I’m satisfied. And you,” his voice started breaking. “You were my purpose.”

“I do not support this,” Frank sighed, eyeing Bill and his vulnerable state. “I should be furious. But from an objective point of view-” he reached for Bill’s hand - “it’s incredibly romantic.”

And they laughed. They laughed because they were going to leave this fucked up world on their own terms. No one was going to take that away from them. They spent amazing years with each other, they loved and hated each other at the same time. They were family. And no one could change that.

“YN,” Frank sighed, looking at the woman he thought of as his own daughter. “YN, please look at us.”

She lifted her head, tear-stained cheeks coming into the view, red puffy eyes and trembling bottom lip. How could it be that she was losing the last people she loved?

“I have one more request.”

YN just nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak.

“Will you play for us? For the last time?”

“Anything you want.”

Slowly all of them moved to the other room when the piano stood. YN helped Bill sit Frank down on the couch, fixing up the cushions to make him comfortable. When Bill sat next to his husband, hand squeezing his, fulfilled smiles on their faces.

“Love will abide,” she started, a teary voice sounding not as good as she wished for. “Take things in stride.”

Bill placed his head on Frank’s shoulder, earning a loving kiss there. It felt like a full circle moment. They came back to the place where they’d started. This room, a piano and the song. The melody of the instrument, delicate and yearning, flying in the air like feathers. YN’s words slowly fading in the void, filling the emptiness that looked to welcome them into. Each second passing, pushing them forward towards the little speckle of light, getting closer and closer. Her beautiful voice accompanying them till the moment it seemed to be miles away.

“And I think I’m gonna miss you, for a long, long time.” She finished singing, not being able to say the last lines. The piano notes getting more silent with the song coming to an end. “I love you, dads.”

With that beautiful ending of the song, they exhaled silently. Their joined hands touched the light, making it surround them with a warm feeling. ‘So that's how it feels.’

Later that night, when she composed herself, YN found Bill’s letter. He asked her to bury their bodies together in front of the house ‘so we’ll be able to protect you’, with flower beds over them ‘no crosses, it’s not gonna be a damn graveyard.’ So she did as he asked, and then one more. ‘Call Joel. Take him or shoot him, I trust your judgement.’

And late that night, she played the 80s on the radio, hoping he’d come. Maybe hearing the song they loved could bring him back to her. Maybe he still cared. ‘He’ll come. He must have loved you once.’

She waited days. Weeks. And months.

He didn’t come.

“YN, I’m so-”

“Oh, no. You can’t be saying it, for fuck’s sake! Fuck you, Joel! Fuck you!” she screamed, pointing a warning finger at him. “You fucking don’t deserve to say those words. They mean nothing. Nothing! You hear me? There is nothing for you to say to me! Nothing to say, to do, not even to think! I don’t want you to even think about me, about them. You don’t deserve it.” She spat the last sentence, standing straight.

“Listen to me, please.”

“Listen to you? Listen to you?” She repeated with a scoff. “Jesus fucking Christ! You’re unbelievable. You want me to listen to you? That’s rich coming from you, Joel. You left me here, promised to radio, visit, remember. You broke each of the promises you made. Each of them!”

“You don’t know it. I never stopped thinking of you. I could never-”

“Stop talking.”

“I could never forget you, YN.”

“Stop.”

“I made mistakes and I am sorry for them. But- but I could never forget you. Never.”

“Fucking stop!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. She had had enough. He couldn’t come back to her life and try to be in it like years ago. “How many times did I play 80s for you?”

“YN-”

“How many times?” she pressed, taking a few steps forward, standing right in front of Joel. He stayed quiet. “Four times. I played them four times!” She nudged his chest four times, pushing him back at the end.

“Hey!” Ellie yelled, but got silenced by Joel’s hand going up in the way of saying ‘it’s okay, I can handle it.’

The anger suddenly left her, being replaced with anguish and grief.

“Two weeks after you left me. Raiders came. Bill got shot. I- I got shot. I thought I was going to die, I thought it was the end and the only thing in my mind was you. I could only think about your damn face,” she stressed, now petting his chest. “Remember what you said when you left?”

He did remember now. It was hounding him in his dreams. Over and over again. Each night waking up with the same word on the mouth: promise.

“Why are you leaving? Frank said you can stay, there’s enough space for both of us. We can start fresh. Right here, Joel. New beginning,” YN whispered to her partner, shaking hands straightening his flannel shirt.

“I can’t. I can’t live this life. Not yet at least. I’m not good enough for it.”

“Not good enough? Joel, my love,” she sighed, pecking his cheek. “We’ve changed since all of this happened. You did, I did. This is our chance to come back to some state of what was before. Don’t you want it?”

“It can’t be like before, don’t you understand? It can’t be.” He shook his head. “It’s not for me.”

“So, you’re breaking up with me?”

“No,” he protested immediately. “Absolutely not.” Joel put his hands on her cheek, looking into her eyes for the first time since starting this conversation. “You’re my light at the end. You’re my present and future, yeah? I care about you and I need you. I- I just can’t be the man you want. I can’t stay here pretending like the world didn’t go to shit. I can’t. Tommy needs me. I don’t belong to this life anymore.”

“It sounds like a goodbye,” she sobbed.

“It’s not.” He brushed the tears away. “It's ‘see you later’, yeah? I ain’t leaving you for good. I’ll come back in no time to visit, I’ll radio you. I- I traded some things for a book with Billboard’s Number 1 hits or some shit. I’ll know everything you want to say. Do you believe me?”

She nodded her head. “I do.”

“I’ll be back. Promise.”

Promise.

“‘I’ll be back. Promise.’ You repeated that five times to me. ‘It’s okay.’ ‘I’ll be back.’ ‘In no time.’ I shouldn’t have been surprised after all the lies you’d told me, should I? It was just another one and little, naive YN believed the man because she was so in love with him,” YN scoffed. “Frank played the 80s for a week, waiting for you to come back. They were sure I wasn’t gonna make it. I still don’t know why I did.”

“Can I say something now?”

She ignored his question, “then Frank got worse. I radioed you, needing more pills to ease the pain. He was suffering so badly.”

That month when Frank needed to live without any medication was probably the worst for anybody in a household. He screamed from the spasms that didn’t give him a moment to shut an eye. He gritted his teeth when YN tried to massage his sore back that was slowly unnaturally contorting. Days after days he became weaker, pain getting harder to deal with. It was the first time he asked YN to use something on him to end it permanently. She knew she couldn’t do it so she ran. She ran in search for any medication that she thought could help with the condition that was slowly developing.

After three days of travelling she stumbled upon a little town - Hardwick - where people weren’t as nice as she had thought they’d be. She traded what she had left on herself - family necklace, last portion of food, her boots and much more that she made herself forget about. The most important was - she got the pills.

Barefoot and almost frozen to death she came back home. She didn’t let Bill take care of her frostbites, wounds those people had caused or a gash on her thigh that was still bleeding. She needed to help Frank. She portioned the pills by milligrams she loosely counted based on his weight and moved it to the box labelled as ‘Frank’s drugs’.

“It’s going to be okay,” she said through her teeth clanking against each other. “It’s going to help you, Frank. You’re going to be okay. I’m sorry it took me so long. I am so sorry,” she cried.

They helped. Not immediately, but they did. Slowly Frank regained the better part of his strength back and accepted the fact that he was going to need a wheelchair. But YN. She never was the same after what happened in Hardwick.

“I got the pills. I got them for -” she paused, remembering the scenes from the shed she was thrown into, the screams, pain and disgust of her own body, making her want to throw up. “Doesn’t matter how. For the whole week I wasn’t here, Bill was playing 80s on the radio. Over and over, waiting for you to come back. He was desperate. Bill never was the one to ask for help and when the one time he was ready to do it - he got stood up.”

Joel felt the guilt. For years he’d felt it. Today, it was just unusually real. After all, the biggest mistake and regret of his life needed to catch up with him. Looking at her red face, tear-stained cheeks and hollow gaze, he deep down knew there was no going back, no chance of going back to how things were years ago.

“I understand that my apology means nothing to you. I -”

“The third time,” she began another story, now sitting at the table. “I just missed you. It was your birthday, it was Sarah’s memorial and I- I really needed to know if you were okay. I feared you were taking those fucking pills and swallowing them with scotch. I feared you were going to try it again. I feared for your life. I feared you were leaving for good. I played Fade To Black knowing that if you were listening you would show up. It was yours - Sarah and your - favourite song, the only one you agreed on staying on the radio. So when after a few days you didn’t come, I knew you were gone. Gone from the life we once shared.”

“You’re spending awfully long hours next to the window, sweetheart,” said Frank one afternoon.

“Huh?”

“And with a head above the clouds, dreamers.” He shook his head teasingly. “What’s bothering you?”

She sighed, “I radioed him. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s not that you shouldn’t have. By doing so you’re just letting him break you more, hurting you.”

“You think he’s doing it on purpose?” YN wondered.

“I don’t know.”

“He probably forgot, right? It’s been, what? Almost two years. He must have.”

“It’s not that easy to forget you, YN. I don’t think it’s even possible to do so.” Frank smiled, moving closer to her, clasping her hands in his and giving them a chaste kiss. “Impossible, really.”

“Then why?”

“I really don’t know. I wish I could tell you, I wish that I had an answer that would make you happy, that would give you some kind of a confirmation, an all clear. But I don’t have it. I just know that I appreciate you so much, and Bill and I love you. I know it’s not the same, but just know -” he squeezed her hands once more. “You are not alone.”

Placing her head on Frank’s hands, shaking with sobs, she tried to forget the man she loved.

“And I wasn’t supposed to contact you ever again. But then Bill’s last wish was partially doing it. And I did. And here you are. But what’s the funniest is - you’re not here because you heard that something happened here. That something went wrong. That possibly the worst happened. No,” she sleered. “No, you’re here only because you need something. Not because you wanted to see me, to see what must have happened. You’re here for your own benefit. And somehow I am not surprised, you’ve always been selfish.”

It hurt. Each word spilling from her lips hurt Joel. But he deserved it. He knew he deserved more, still surprised he wasn’t lying in the puddle of his own blood after having been shot by her.

Did he have something to make her understand his absence? No. Like she said, he was selfish. And he was a coward. A coward because he realised that he actually still was capable of that feeling that consumes you whole. The one that gives you those butterflies, he’d never understood but could feel now. The one that makes you forget your name while looking at someone, stumbling over words, gettin hot and bothered just because of their look.

He was capable of love.

And it terrified him.

So when he realised it, he did what he was best at - he ran, hid and tried to forget. Forget about anything associated with YN. And everything reminded him of her. The pillow, the only mug in the apartment, the folded rug, the dirty socks under the bed, the little sketch of Sarah that was so accurate he felt her disappointed eyes judging him. YN was everywhere. And he hated and loved it at the same time. Because if he had left her, the only thing he could still have was the memory.

“I love you, Joel. I know you can’t say it, it’s okay. I just need you to know it. I do love you.” She used to say every few weeks, reassuring him. Making him believe that she wasn’t playing. She was genuine.

“I fucking love you.” Said every time he made her see the stars and feel the goosebumps cover her nude body.

“I missed you, I’m sorry. I love you. You’re home.” Said whenever he came back after a run from outside the QZ.

“I love you.” Whispered every night, when she thought he didn’t hear her. But he did, each time.

“I love you,” he said for the first time since they’d met thirteen years ago. His voice, although weak, never sounded more confident.

YN looked up from the table, studying his face for a moment. ‘How much you’ve changed’ she thought. The silver hair, now almost covering half of his gorgeous locks. Wrinkles that he sported from the moment they’d met, now deeper - worry always present on his face. His lips, oh those soft pink lips, now chapped. But his eyes. His eyes were the same. Those brown irises reminding her of a hot chocolate she used to drink every night for comfort. Eyes that told her more than his words ever could. Eyes that lied to her so many times.

“And I loved you, too, Joel. I really did.”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #joel miller angst #joel miller tlou #joel miller x female reader #joel miller #the last of us #tlou hbo

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blueiskewl · 3 months

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Have Researchers Found Amelia Earhart’s Long-Lost Plane?

A new sonar image shows an airplane-shaped object resting on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, not far from where Earhart and her navigator, Fred Noonan, went missing in 1937.

On July 2, 1937, pioneering pilot Amelia Earhart vanished somewhere over the Pacific Ocean near the end of her historic around-the-world flight. For decades, her mysterious disappearance has perplexed explorers, who have spent millions of dollars trying to find her missing Lockheed 10-E Electra plane.

Now, a possible new clue has emerged in the case: A sonar image captured during an expedition last fall shows an airplane-shaped object sitting on the ocean floor, not far from where experts believe Earhart likely crashed, reports the Wall Street Journal’s Nidhi Subbaraman.

The blurred object is far from definitive proof, but Dorothy Cochrane, an aeronautics curator at the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum, tells Smithsonian magazine it’s “an intriguing image” that warrants a second look.

The expedition was led by Tony Romeo, who is a former intelligence officer with the U.S. Air Force, a pilot and a commercial real estate investor from South Carolina. In 2021, he sold his real estate properties and spent $11 million to fund the trip, including buying high-tech equipment to aid in the search.

“This has been a story that’s always intrigued me, and all the things in my life kind of collided at the right moment,” Romeo tells Business Insider’s Katherine Tangalakis-Lippert and Rebecca Rommen. “I was getting out of real estate and looking for a new project, so even though I really started about 18 months ago, this was something I’ve been thinking and researching for a long time.”

Last September, a team from the exploration company Deep Sea Vision, which Romeo founded, departed from Tarawa, Kiribati, in the South Pacific aboard a research vessel. Working in 36-hour shifts, the 16-person crew used an underwater autonomous vehicle equipped with sonar to scour the sea floor, scanning roughly 5,200 total square miles.

About 90 days into the trip, the team was reviewing sonar images and noticed something unusual in the data from some 60 days prior. The mysterious object looked to be about the same shape and size as an aircraft, and it was identified roughly 100 miles from Howland Island, which is within the region where experts think Earhart’s plane went down. The object is around 16,400 feet below the water’s surface.

By then, however, the crew had determined it was too late to return to the site for a closer look. The camera on the underwater vehicle was also broken, which meant they wouldn’t be able to see anything if they did circle back, reports the Post and Courier’s Tony Bartelme.

But Romeo is undeterred and hopes to revisit the area in the future.

“This is maybe the most exciting thing I’ll ever do in my life,” he tells the Wall Street Journal. “I feel like a 10-year-old going on a treasure hunt.”

In the meantime, the sonar image is not detailed enough for experts to draw any definitive conclusions.

“It definitely appears to be an aircraft of some sort,” David Jourdan, who has searched three times for Earhart’s missing plane and is the co-founder and president of the ocean exploration company Nauticos, tells the Post and Courier. “It has aircraft-like features. But sound is funny. It can mislead you. We can’t say it’s her plane until you put a camera on it.”

To truly identify the object, future missions would ideally capture detailed images that contain the registration number of the plane, says Cochrane. Or, at the very least, they might more clearly show the submerged object’s dimensions and shape to see if it matches the model of Earhart’s vehicle.

“It really requires further research,” says Cochrane. “Finding something that’s really worth investigating further is step one. Verifying it’s the actual craft is step two. And step three becomes: Is it possible to recover this or not, or should it just be left where it is?”

At the time of her disappearance, Earhart was a global celebrity—speaking with the Wall Street Journal, Romeo likens her to Taylor Swift today. In June 1928, Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean (as a passenger of pilots Wilmer Stultz and Lou Gordon), a feat that propelled her to international stardom.

Nearly four years later, in May 1932, she made history again by becoming the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. Later that year, she became the first woman to fly solo across North America and back. And in 1935, she became the first person, regardless of gender, to fly solo from Honolulu, Hawaii, to Oakland, California.

In the summer of 1936, the renowned pilot began to plan her most ambitious trip yet: a circumnavigation of the globe. On May 20, 1937, Earhart and her navigator, Fred Noonan, departed from Oakland for the first leg of the trip. They flew nearly 22,000 miles, making stops in Miami, South America, Africa and India along their eastward route.

By late June, they had made it to Lae, Papua New Guinea. After a few days’ rest, they departed for Howland Island, a small, uninhabited outcrop in the Pacific where a refueling station had been built for their journey. The U.S. Coast Guard had a vessel, the Itasca, stationed nearby to help with the landing.

Operators aboard the Itasca heard Earhart’s radio messages as she got closer and closer to the island. But eventually, they lost contact. Earhart and Noonan were never seen or heard from again.

The U.S. Navy and Coast Guard spent 16 days searching for the missing duo without success. About one and a half years later, on January 5, 1939, Earhart was declared dead.

Theories abound about her mysterious disappearance—some onlookers have speculated that she was a spy or that she was captured by a foreign military. But Cochrane believes the simplest explanation is the most plausible: that Earhart and Noonan ran out of fuel near Howland Island.

“She’s got to be around there somewhere,” she adds.

By Sarah Kuta.

#Amelia Earhart #Have Researchers Found Amelia Earhart’s Long-Lost Plane?#Fred Noonan #Howland Island #Lockheed 10-E Electra plane #mystery #history #history news #long post #long reads

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mushiewrites · 1 year

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Attitude Adjustment

hello fwens :3 back with another fic from the results of a poll I ran! the prompt is from this list requested through this ask! I actually love the way this turned out, so enjoy!

prompt 1 - “how much does this tickle from 1 to 10?” / 17 - “apologize!” / 18 - “i’m gonna count down from 10” / 25 - “you’re being really bold for someone within tickling distance.”

(lee!Dream / ler!George / ler!Sapnap : 3K words)

“YES! YESSS!” Dream exclaimed, jumping up from his chair and accidentally pulling his headset off of his head, giggling as he somehow caught it in his right hand and leaned down to place it back over his golden curls. “I told you I’d beat you guys! Oh man, this challenge is gonna be incredible!”

Dream, George and Sapnap were in their respective recording rooms, having just gone through two runs of the mod they recently coded for a new video idea they had, testing to make sure everything worked properly before actually filming. The initial runthrough had been successful, though Dream had won because of a mistake that the other two boys had made. They demanded a rematch, only to be met with the same ending - Dream had beaten them yet again.

“Fuck off.” Sapnap’s annoyance seethed over the line of the discord call they were all on, making Dream break out into a satisfied grin.

“Look, it’s not my fault you two are trash at Minecraft.” He commented, a cocky tone to his voice as he giggled. He heard George let out a groan which only further fueled him, bouncing his legs with excitement.

“Dream, I’d be quiet if I were you.” He heard the youngest boy growl through his headphones, moving to lean against the back of his chair as the smile on his face grew. He crossed his arms across his chest, rolling his eyes at the threatening tone in Sapnap’s voice with a chuckle.

“Why? What are you gonna do, challenge me to a rematch again? Go ahead! You saw what happened last time.” Dream barked out a laugh at the thought, knowing full well that he would beat the two again. However, smile faltered when he heard a low chuckle, the sound all too familiar.

“No, but you’re being really bold for someone within tickling distance,” The blonde’s eyes widened as he heard the younger boy’s statement, sitting up straight in his chair. “Wouldn’t you agree, George?”

“W-What? No!” Dream grabbed at the microphone with one hand, bringing it closer to him as if that would somehow get his point across clearer.

“Oh, I definitely agree. You’ve been way too cocky today.” George’s smirk was evident in his voice, causing butterflies to erupt in Dream’s stomach. His left hand was quick to cover the area, pressing slightly in the hopes that the flutters would settle down.

“I- No I haven’t! …Not more than normal!” Dream had paused in his wording, thinking back on the past few hours and realizing how much he had bombarded the two with insults and teases. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the low chuckle once more, sending chills down his spine as his focus was brought back to the call.

“I’m gonna countdown from 10.”

“What?!”

“10…9…8…” Dream was panicking now, stuttering and fidgeting in his seat as the younger boy began counting. He knew what it meant - he had been a victim to the countdown many times, and he knew exactly what followed.

The hair on the back of Dream’s neck stood up as he suddenly heard quick footsteps thudding down the hall, a clear indication of where they were heading. He let out a squeal as he flung the headset off of his head, still able to hear the numbers decreasing as the seconds passed. Dream was mere steps away from slamming the door shut, his arm extended to grab the door to swing it shut, when George appeared in the doorway.

“FUCK!” Dream squealed, dodging the elder as he lunged forward and sprinted towards the bed in the corner of the recording room. He cursed himself immediately as he flung the covers off to take safety there, wrapping them around himself and tucking them in tightly so George couldn’t remove them.

“Oh Dreamie!” The sing-song tone of George’s voice made Dream cower further under the blankets, twisting his fists into them as a way to expel the tingly energy that was coursing through him.

“Come on, don’t you wanna hang out with your best buddies?” He heard additional footsteps entering his room, listening as Sapnap joined in on the taunting. The sound of the door shutting caught his attention, letting out a shriek when he heard the lock click.

“Nohoho! Fuck ohoff!” He spat out in response, curling up on his side as much as he could when he felt the mattress dip next to his legs, signaling that he was no longer the only one on the bed. Giggles quickly burst past his lips as he felt pokes along his sides in random patterns, the offending finger pressing in wherever it could.

“What do we have here?” Sapnap questioned curiously, his voice coming from the end of the bed. The pokes hadn’t stopped, leading him to the conclusion that George was the one currently tickling him.

“G-Gehehorge, stop! Gehet awahay, Sapnap!” He spoke through his giggles, wrapping his arms around himself the best he could while still securing the blanket in place with his hands. The protection Dream felt from the blanket was quickly stripped from his mind as he felt a hand wrap around his ankle, fingers skittering over his socked foot and making him kick out in a panic.

“Nohoho! No no nohoho p-plehehease!” Dream pleaded with the younger boy, trying to kick at Sapnap but failing when the smaller boy jumped up onto the bed, straddling his legs and continuing the tickly assault on his foot.

“It’s not my fault you’re too much of a giant to fully hide under a blanket.” Sapnap teased him, walking his fingers up onto the tops of Dream’s foot to make him squeal. He continued to try and kick his legs, squirming and pleading until the blanket was pulled from his hands, his eyes squinting from the sudden light flooding into them.

“NOHOHO! No, fuhuhuck- dohohon’t!” He began to beg once more, turning onto his back as much as he could as he attempted to wrangle both George and Sapnap’s hands in the process. Instead, his wrists were captured by Sapnap and held up against his chest, forcing Dream to sit up slightly, his back arched forward at an awkward angle. “Ow, Sahaphap, it hurts!”

“Oops, sorry baby!” He giggled, placing a quick kiss on each wrist before bringing them down to rest on his thighs. The blonde whined as he leaned back against the mattress, biting back a smile as the stubble tickled the sensitive skin there. He readjusted himself to be more comfortable but was interrupted as George began to poke all over his torso once more.

“Stohop! Y-You don’t hahave to do this!” He tried his best to give the two his best puppy dog eyes, pouting through his laughter. The two boys above him just giggled at the suggestion, exchanging knowing smirks before turning their attention back to Dream, who was still in a fit of chirps and squeals from the pokes he was receiving.

“Obviously we don’t have to,” George spoke, making Dream turn his head slightly to lock eyes with the elder. He felt his stomach flip as the grin on his face grew even wider. “We want to.”

Sapnap moved as George spoke, sliding Dream’s wrists from his thighs to the bed, pressing down to secure them next to his hips as he protested. The youngest boy giggled when Dream tried to sit up again, only to be pushed back down against the duvet by George.

“Apologize!” He demanded, using his free hand to poke into Dream’s stomach a few times, prompting the blonde to let out a yelp before falling into loud cackles. He tried his best to dodge the wiggling finger, twisting his body from side to side but quickly giving up once he realized George followed him every way that he turned.

“I dihihidn’t do anythihihing!”

“He can’t be serious.” He heard Sapnap mumble to George, making him shake his head back and forth slowly with a tight-lipped expression in fake disappointment.

“Dreamie, Dreamie, Dreamie. Will you ever learn?” As George let out a sigh, starting to lightly spider his fingers on either side of his tummy, still over his shirt and smiling when it seemingly drove Dream mad anyway.

“P-Plehehease! Not thehehere!” Dream pleaded as he attempted to buck his hips up. Sapnap continued to sit sturdy on his waist, not allowing him to make his targeted movement. The youngest boy pressed his wrists down further into the bed to really emphasize on the fact he was stuck and under the mercy of his two best friends.

“Not there? Not on your ticklish little tummy? Why not, Dream?” Sapnap teased, creating a new kaleidoscope of butterflies in his stomach as he continued to laugh and writhe beneath him.

“Thihis is sohoho cruel! I-I cahan’t move my hahahands!” He complained through his high pitched squeals, looking between the two with pleading eyes and hoping one of them would give in and end the tickling. However, the smirks that were plastered on their faces told him otherwise.

“Awh, poor baby! You should be able to block your tummy with your hands being right there, huh?” George taunted, grabbing Dream’s attention and only continuing when the boy nodded in agreement. “It must be so much more ticklish knowing that you can’t.”

The comment sent Dream into another fit of cackles, still trying to pull at his arms to free himself but finding it harder and harder when his strength was constantly wavering due to his laughter.

Dream felt a cool breeze on his tummy and looked down in horror as he watched George slowly lift his shirt up, making his giggles more panicked and sporadic. He squeezed his eyes shut as George’s pointer finger poked around his belly button, making him squeak between the bright giggles the spot produced.

“Hey Dream, how much does this tickle from 1 to 10?” Following the question, George hooked a finger onto the rim of his belly button and began to lightly pull at the bottom edge. The blonde shrieked before falling into hysterics, kicking his legs against the bed as much as he could as George continued his assault on the sensitive little dip in his tummy.

“NOHOHO! Noho plehehease! Dohohon’t- Gohohod nohoho!” Dream’s laugh was high pitched and slightly raspy as George circled his finger around the rim of his belly button slowly, adding slight pressure as he went to make Dream squeal.

“I didn’t hear a number!” George spoke with mischief in his voice, the pitch higher and words drawn out to tease with a purpose. Dream lifted his head slightly to look at George, twisting his face into the best scowl he could make through his continuous laughter. The brunette laughed at that, rolling his eyes at the unnecessary aggression that Dream was trying to pull off. “Come on, pup, it’s just a simple question.”

“FUHUHCK OFF, GEOHOHORGE!” Dream’s voice was booming through his laughter with how flustered he was becoming, feeling his cheeks heat up and cursing himself for how easily he was made to blush. The two boys above him knew all the things that make him squirm, and it seemed to him as if they were going down a list and checking each one off. He let out a quick whine after he took in a deep breath, trying to turn his body from side to side to dislodge George’s finger.

“I would just answer the question, Dream.” Sapnap chimed in as George slowly began tracing the rim of his belly button. Dream broke into loud laughter at the sensation, flexing his fingers out and back into tight fists as he squirmed.

“NAHAHA- NOHOHO, OKAY! I- TEHEHEN! TEN!”

George moved his finger from the edge, tracing a squiggly line towards his right hip bone. He switched his pointer finger out for his thumb as he rubbed soothing circles into the muscle, not enough pressure to tickle terribly, but enough to keep the smile on his face while also melting him into a pile of giggles.

“Good boy, Dream! Now, are you gonna apologize?

“For whahat?! I didn’t doho- nohoho wait! WAHAHAHAIT!”

George sat up on his knees, leaning against his left hand that was still pressed into Dream’s shoulder to hold him down and using his thumb and pointer finger to knead into his lower tummy, just under his belly button. Dream howled at the action, almost immediately breaking and begging for mercy.

“OKAHAHAY OKAY! I’m sohohorry!” George slowed his pinching to a halt, keeping them pressed against the skin and turning to Sapnap to see if he accepted the apology or not. Dream’s stomach felt like a car with an overturned engine, the nervousness erupting in little bursts as Sapnap shook his head with a grin.

“I will only accept ‘I’m sorry that I was so cocky when I’m so ticklish’, actually.” Sapnap stated simply, the smile on his face clear in his voice. He squeezed Dream’s wrists twice with a playful intent, watching as the older boy attempted to twist his arms to break free and chuckling when he realized he wasn’t able to and grunted in frustration at his defeat.

“What?! Nohoho! I’m nohot saying that!” Dream shook his head quickly, looking at Sapnap with furrowed brows as if in disbelief. Sapnap only grinned back at him, shrugging his shoulders. Dream jolted forward when George’s finger twitched against his skin, as if it was reminding him of its presence; As if he could forget.

“No? I guess I’ll stay here, then.” George giggled as Dream’s laughter practically jumped an octave when the wiggly finger burrowed itself into his belly button, lightly tickling around the walls and just barely grazing the knot at the bottom of it. The blonde let out a high pitched scream before dissolving into silent laughter, throwing his head back against the bed with bright red cheeks. The elder watched as the blush slowly spread up to the tip of his ears and down his neck, eventually reaching his tummy. He felt an elbow lightly against his right bicep and turned his attention to Sapnap.

“Alright, I think this little goober has had enough.” George watched as Sapnap looked down at Dream with fondness in his eyes. He was very much still in hysterics as George’s finger remained where it had been, but remained still to provide the younger boy with some relief.

“Awh but Sapnap! Look! His tummy is blushing, he loves it!”

“He does, but even puppies who love getting tickles have their limits, don’t they baby?” Dream felt his face heat up in response to the remark, turning his head and shoulders as much as he could to hide his face in the pillows next to him.

“Plehehease!” His muffled whines made George and Sapnap giggle, softening their demeanors and melting at how adorable the blonde was. Sapnap loosened the grip on his wrists, running his thumbs over the thin skin of his wrists as he spoke.

“You know what to say, darlin’.” He spoke in an exaggerated southern accent, making George cackle and Dream’s laughter grow louder once more. This sent Sapnap into a fit of laughter, creating a domino effect and making the boys fall into a symphony of laughter. After a few minutes, they regained their composure and were back to the task at hand.

“Well?” George prompted Dream. He heard the younger boy kick his feet a few times against the bed behind him, smiling when he let out yet another whine in disapproval. Dream stomped his foot one more time to prove his point before letting out a loud sigh, rolling his eyes at George before meeting Sapnap’s gaze.

“I’m sorry I was sohoho cocky when I’m- I’m…so-” Dream huffed out a stream of air through his nose in a mix of annoyance and embarrassment, squeezing his eyes shut before continuing. “So t-ticklish.”

“Wow, so SO ticklish, huh?” Sapnap finally let go of Dream’s hands and moved from his place on his hips to kneel next to the blonde instead. “I already knew that, but thanks for reminding me!”

Dream groaned through tiny giggles, immediately bringing his hands up to cover his face the minute Sapnap had freed them. He turned his body and curled forward slightly until his head pressed into Sapnap’s knee, relaxing with a sigh when the youngest boy started to card his hand through the messy curls.

“I think we tired him out.” He heard George comment from behind him, feeling the bed dip and a sudden warmth pressed into his back. It continued to spread over his waist, only getting warmer as George’s grip around him grew tighter to pull him into a backwards hug. Dream brought his shoulder up as George buried himself into the crook of his neck, tickling Dream in the process and making him squeal.

“More like you killed me.” Dream mumbled, leaning his head back to rest against George’s to be closer to him, still covering his face with his hands. Sapnap reached up and gripped each hand lightly, pulling them down slowly to give Dream the opportunity to stop him.

He didn’t.

“Oh hush, you idiot, you’re fine.” Sapnap ran a hand through his hair once more before making a move to lay down next to Dream, now wedged between his body and the wall behind him. He didn’t want to admit it, but this had been the coziest he’s felt in months. Sapnap smiled as he draped an arm over Dream, resting against George’s side in an attempt to feel connected to both boys.

Dream felt himself being pulled into Sapnap’s chest, George automatically following him as if they were magnets. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around Sapnap, feeling George’s hand rest against his own shoulder with a soft squeeze. He let out a deep breath as he let himself fall asleep, feeling safer than ever in the arms of his two favorite people.

#lee!dream #ler!george #ler!sapnap #thank u again for the prompt!#i love this one sm #thank u to cal n juno my lil bbs #for reading it and also tryin to brainstorm titles with me #i really like this i think #hope u guys like it too :D #mushie fics #mcyt tickle #my stuff

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shunchitaro · 1 year

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Chishiya x Fem!Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst (TW: Reader!Death, QueenofHearts!Reader, lazily made drabble) Romantic [REQUESTED]

["Two lovers met Two strangers left"]

"I'll go"

They turned to Chishiya, who was standing calmly with a stoic expression.

There was one last game, and everyone was either too injured or weak to continue. Chishiya was the only one that was able to go, so he volunteered.

Climbing up the building stairs, he got to the roof. He swung the door open to see a white open garden house and white rose bushes surrounding the area. He saw some colored balls and some other targets, and came to a conclusion.

"Croquet?"

"You are correct! Now- Chishiya?" The bubbly voice had switched to one of shock, and Chishiya looked up too, seeming unfazed.

"Y/N? I did think you would be one of the face card games"

Y/N stood before him in a long black dress with white accents, holding her mallet.

"How did you-"

"10 of Hearts. During the game I couldn't see you anywhere, I couldn't even detect you on the CCTV. You must've hidden during the entire game, no? Just like Mira"

Y/N suspected he would know. He was Chishiya Shuntaro after all.

"You shouldn't be here. You have five minutes to leave before the game starts."

"Why? You think i'm going to lose?" Chishiya asked in a deadly calm tone.

"It's either you die or I die, I wish for neither."

"Someone has to win to get out of here, Y/N. Clearly you should have thought of that before choosing to be a face card, right? One.. and two. One of us dies, and it's our choice." He pointed out.

'The game has begun'

Y/N didn't want to play the game with Chishiya. It wasn't because she didn't want him to die- he'd easily be the one to survive, but that was the thing.

Either one of them was going to die, and Y/N knew it would be herself.

"All you have to do is play three rounds of croquet with me" She returned to her cheery nature, grinning at him in an unsettling way.

Chishiya grabbed a mallet without a word, beginning since Y/N had given him a chance of going first. The male had never held a mallet before, yet he managed to hit all holes and goals in the first round.

"My turn~!" Y/N sang to hide her nervousness, winning the first round along with him. They both won the second round, and the time Y/N feared had come.

She stifled a fake yawn, leaning on her mallet. "Ah, I'm tired. Why don't we sit first? Have a cup of tea?" She gestured to the table in the open garden house. Chishiya's eyes drifted to the table with an incredulous look on his face, but he went towards it without a word.

She sat as well, pouring him a cup of tea.

"Cut to the chase, L/N. If I play this game, do we get to leave? How were we even brought here?"

She sipped her tea peeking at him to see he was staring, not even touching his tea.

"This is all a simulation"

"What?"

"You are merely nothing but robots. We're testing the IQ and EQ of the robots we made, and you are one of them. You just don't realize, because we inserted a microchip into your brain that tells you that you are human, and it programs you by default. You won't know you're a robot, you'll think you're perfectly human."

"You aren't serious are you?" He asked, unsure.

She laughed, pouring herself another cup. "I was kidding. What I really meant was that I am your psychiatrist. You got called in to my office since you kept hallucinating about that kid you weren't able to give the donor to. I've been giving you medication, but the effects is that you are imagining you are in this world, when really none of this is happening."

He was silent, not knowing what to say as he glanced at his unfinished cup of tea.

Yet again she was laughing, finishing her cup of tea. "Oh goodness, it was all a joke. Don't worry Chishiya, you haven't gone insane."

He gave her a sour look, getting up. "I'm not falling for your tricks. Let's play the final round and end all of this."

Y/N felt a tremble in her heart as she slowly got up to oblige. She knew he wouldn't fall for any of it, and the last time she would see him would be this very moment. She knew it was either her or him, and all she wanted was to extend her last moments with him a few minutes longer. She took her mallet and paid extra attention to him as she watched him play, remembering this would be the last time she could ever be with him.

His round finished and she went forward with her mallet, going as slow as she could. When she was going to make her last move, she paused.

"I have something else to tell you" She spoke up, and she glanced up to see his bored trance staring at the ground. He sighed in frustration hands still tucked in his pockets. "Look, just give up already. I'm going to win, so there's no point in trying to lie to m-"

"Did you know that I love you, Chishiya Shuntaro?"

His head shot up at her sudden confession, searching her eyes to see if she was lying. She smiled sadly as she walked towards him, he didn't move away which relieved her.

"When I first met you at the beach, I didn't think about you as anything more than someone I had to stop from winning games. Then when I got closer to you, I couldn't help it. When I was first asked to be the Queen of Hearts I agreed, I had nothing to do with my life anyways. But then I met you.." She laughs painfully. "It's a pity now that I can't stay with the person that helped me find my purpose.. just because I made a stupid decision."

He looked at her eyes, and she noticed how his expression softened. "You changed my view.. of people." He began. "Before you came, I didn't care anymore. After my patient couldn't get his donor.. I decided that the only life I should care about was mine, because either way people die and getting attached just makes it worse. Then.. you. Because of you, I cherish people. Kuina, Arisu, Usagi.. even you."

She looked up in surprise, searching his eyes to see if he was playing around but he wasn't.

She chuckled softly, caressing his cheek as tears brimmed in her eyes. She didn't want to ever let go of this moment, but she knew that the games had to end. "May I..?" He asked softly, and her eyebrows knit in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"Asking for permission to kiss you."

She nodded slowly, and it felt euphoric as he leaned in to kiss her. It was soft and gentle, as if he was scared that he wouldn't be able to pull away from her. He pulled away and she felt her lips tingling, making her smile sadly.

"I guess it's time."

She went back in position and hit the ball, letting it go into the last hoop. Chishiya didn't show any emotion as she looked at him once more, smiling brightly. It didn't seem sad, it seemed carefree and genuine.

"Thank you for playing with me, Chishiya Shuntaro."

He flinched slightly as the laser went through her head, and he caught her before she hit the ground. He could hear fireworks in the distance, but all he could think about was her final words to him. He caressed her now cold and pale face, the ghost of a smile still etched on it as a small tear dripped from the side of her face.

He stood up, picking a fresh white rose from one of the bushes and took her hand, wrapping it around the stem as he kissed her forehead.

He wanted to believe that he just kissed her as a parting gift, so that she could die peacefully without having to endure any pain before she met with death; but he knew deep down that he too had loved her, and only just realized. He knew that he too had slowly fallen for her back at the hotel but he hadn't said anything, fearing he would be attached.

He knew that her last moments spent with him were short, but it was just enough for him. It was enough for the both of them to share their love for one another.

He held her close to his chest, closing his eyes and inhaling her scent for probably the last time ever. He knew that somehow, if they return to the true world, he would forget her.

He didn't care because he knew that eventually- even if just a bit- she was a lost memory waiting to be found.

He knew he'd find that memory somehow, and fall in love with her all over again.

Author's note: I'm so sorry I took so long to finish this request! I had writer's block and I'm glad it's gone again :') Anyways I ran out of idea halfway through the story, but I hope the story is still enjoyable and that it still makes sense. <33

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ladyfogg · 2 years

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Who Wants to be Lonely - 1/10

Who Wants to be Lonely – 1/10

Fic Summary: After the ground splits and sends you hurtling into the Upside Down, you come face-to-face with the notorious, and injured, Eddie Munson. Lost and hunted by otherworldly creatures, the two of you have no choice but to stick together if you’re going to find your way home. Masterpost.

Fic Rating: 18+

Pairing: Eddie Munson/Female Reader

Warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Language, Violence, Angst, Blood/Slight Gore, Season Finale Spoilers

Fic Song: Who Wants to be Lonely by Kiss. Full fic playlist on Spotify.

A/N: This fic came into my brain and decided to not only set up shop but close down any other business until I started writing it. It’s going to be multiple chapters, ten to be exact, and I already have everything outlined and planned. I hope you all like it!

’86 is your year, baby!

You feel it in your bones. Something great is going to happen to you. It has to. After all the struggles you’ve been through something good has to come from it. The last few years haven’t been kind. Not to anyone in Hawkins but especially not to you. Among the disappearances and deaths, you barely managed to graduate and even though the hell that was high school is finally over, something worse looms on the horizon.

Adulthood.

It doesn’t help that you don’t know what you want to do with your life, at least not long term. It also doesn’t help that your overbearing parents keep nagging you over and over again to find some direction. If they aren’t arguing with you then they’re arguing with each other.

Right after graduation, you move your room to the basement, that way you don’t have to listen to their screaming. Your dad designed the basement as an underground bunker for some major world-ending event that might be on the horizon. You don’t remember his exact reasons but as long as you don’t go through his cache of food and weapons, he doesn’t care. He has them stored in a separate room off the main one, the door secured with a padlock. It gives the whole place a very “end of the world” vibe that you dug in your late teens. Not to mention the storm cellar doors make it so easy to come and go without even having to see them most of the time.

You remember being so excited when the mall opened because it meant you’d definitely be able to find a job. And you had, working at the music store. Those months were when you were the happiest. Listening to records all day, taking lunch over at Scoops to chill with those guys. Making good money and saving to get your own place, an apartment where you wouldn’t have to worry about being side-eyed by your parents or walking into another screaming match when trying to get a bowl of cereal.

Then, the mall explodes. So much for that plan.

Finding a new job takes forever, and when you do get one, it isn’t nearly as good as the last. You bag groceries at a small market on Main Street. The hours are long, the pay is small, but hey, it’s work. Eventually, you finally manage to scrape together enough savings to afford a small, one-bedroom apartment near the Forest Hills Trailer Park. It isn’t much, but it’s yours.

Things are finally starting to settle down. That’s the thought you have anyway when you pull your car into the parking lot. It’s virtually empty since most folks in this area work long hours at the plant. You have considered working there as well but prefer having your evenings to yourself when you can swing it. The moon is bright and almost full, the sky dotted with stars. It’s actually beautiful and you take a second to admire it before going inside.

You let yourself into your place, breathing a sigh of relief at being home. It had been a grueling double shift. The usual check-out person had quit days before, stating that Hawkins was a shit show and he was getting out of town before things got worse. He wasn’t the only one. You’d seen a lot of people pack and move after the murders started. From your living room window, you can see the trailer park where that cheerleader’s body was found. As far as you’re aware, that Munson guy is still on the loose.

At any rate, your coworker’s departure left the store owners in a bind and you, never one to shy away from making extra cash, offered to pick up the slack. Which meant that you were checking out customers and bagging, alone, for over twelve hours several days a week.

Thoroughly exhausted, you throw your keys on the kitchen table along with the stack of bills you’re pretending haven’t arrived. Your place doesn’t have much. Just your bed and a dresser in the bedroom, and a couch, kitchen table, and stereo in the living room. The kitchen, if it can even be called that, is basically a stove, sink, and refrigerator shoved into a corner.

The major upside to your apartment, aside from the super cheap rent, is that it has a clawfoot tub. Apparently, when the old mansion was converted into apartment buildings, the tub was too cumbersome to take it out they just left it. Lucky you. This means, after your long workday, you can soak in a bath with your music blaring while drinking the beer that you swiped from work. And maybe while you’re in the tub, you’ll eat the sandwich you got the deli boys to make you after you flirted with them.

Yeah, that’s exactly what you intend to do.

You turn on the stereo, hitting play on whatever cassette you left in there last. Which turns out to be the newest Metallica. Damn, you miss the music store. Maybe one day you’ll open your own. There isn’t a good one for miles around. That’ll be sick. Blaring Master of Puppets, you reach into your bag and grab one of the cans of beer. That satisfying crack it makes when you open it makes your shoulders relax. Feeling lazy, you drag your bag with you into the bathroom rather than unpack it. You drop it on the floor and kick out of your shoes.

Briefly, you wonder if you should check to see who is playing at the Hideout. There’s a metal band that’s been getting some buzz. It could be interesting. Whatever you decide to do, a hot bath is first on the list. After another sip of beer, you place it on the counter and turn around to start the bath.

However, after you turn the knob, barely any water comes out. God damn it. Not again.

The building is old as shit and the landlord never gave a damn about updating it. Yeah, he’d take your money for the apartment but that’s about it. You try the cold water and the same thing happens. Well so much for that. Annoyed, you don’t register the ground rumbling under your feet. Not at first at least and it’s so slight, you think it’s probably a truck going by. Happens all the time.

Well, since the bath is no good, at the very least you should change out of your work clothes and into something comfortable. You take your uniform shirt off, leaving you in only a tank top and your jeans. The lights start to flicker and suddenly, your stereo begins to cut in and out. Did you forget the electric bill? No, no, you’re pretty sure you paid it. It may have been a week late but still.

This time when the ground shakes, you feel it. It’s enough to throw you off balance and you grab your sink for support. A brief pause makes you wonder what the fuck that was. But then it happens again, and again, and now the shaking doesn’t stop. Holy shit, there’s an earthquake! You’ve never been in an earthquake before. What the fuck were you supposed to do? Run to the basement right? Shit! You can’t! You’re three stories up for fuck’s sake. You won’t make it down there safely.

You catch a glimpse of the tub in the mirror and vaguely remember hearing how people hide in tubs during quakes. Or was that tornados? Shit, you can’t remember!

With no choice, you turn quickly and end up tripping over your shoes and backpack. The strap of the bag gets caught around your foot and rather than stepping into the tub, you literally fall into it, barely missing hitting your head on the rim. You swear, untangling the bag from your ankle and clutching it to your chest as the room continues to shake. It doesn’t let up, doesn’t slowly ease. In fact, it gets worse. The power flickers for a final time before cutting off plunging you into darkness.

Then, everything stops.

You sit there for a moment, breathing heavily and listening to the still silence. And just when you think it’s over, you drop.

Your stomach lurches as the tiles beneath the tub split open and you’re sent plunging down to the next floor. Except, it doesn’t stop there. You keep going, falling through three floors and into the earth underneath the building. Walls of rock and stone seem to rise up around you through the dark. Then the walls start to come into focus, the darkness recedes. But the light isn’t coming from above. Bright red light comes from below, and you’re too scared to look over the edge and see what’s causing it. It gets brighter and brighter as you fall, fall, fall…

In one split second, your world turns upside down and suddenly the tub isn’t under you anymore. It’s above you and you’re free-falling fast. You’re too scared to do anything but shut your eyes, clutch your bag, and scream at the top of your lungs. Suddenly, there’s a moment of weightlessness and then gravity returns and you hit the ground hard, landing on your back and knocking the wind out of you. You crack your eyes open in time to see the tub coming down fast and, at the last second, you curl your body into a ball, covering your head and bracing for impact. The tub lands upside down on top of you with a loud clang!

You’re dead. You have to be dead. A huge porcelain clawfoot tub fell on you and now you’re a goner.

Your body hurts and your heart is racing, which is the first clue that you’re actually alive. It takes you a long time to register that though. And when you finally dare to poke your head out from under your arms, you are met with darkness again. Your heavy breathing echoes back, bouncing off the porcelain surrounding you. The tub had fallen onto you like a dome, trapping you in a protective bubble.

Outside, you can hear the crash of thunder and more things falling, feel the impact as they hit the ground around you. Several more clangs make you flinch. But the tub is sturdy and whatever hits it bounces off, leaving the tub unscathed. An acrid, decaying smell reaches your nostrils and almost makes you vomit. Or that could be the anxiety of what you just went through. Really hard to tell at this point.

You’re too scared to move. Still curled into a tight ball, you try to get your breathing to return to normal. Deep breath in. Hold for a second. Then deep breath out.

Each time you do, you feel like you’re inhaling ash and eventually, you’re sent into a coughing fit. You can’t stay here. You have to move. You’ll die breathing in the same stale air over and over again. Also, you’re safe for now but what if the whole building comes down around you and you’re trapped under this stupid tub?

Gathering your courage, you release your death grip on your backpack and try to move. You can’t stretch out much without hitting the sides of the tub. Taking another deep breath, you try to push up against it. It doesn’t budge. You try again but nothing. Not even a centimeter. Fuck. Fuck. Now what? As you move around, the ground beneath you starts to give way, the loose dirt sliding under your feet. With no other choice, you dig your way out, using both hands to rapidly move the dirt and rock. It’s a long process and by the time there’s a big enough space for you to see under, your nails are caked with dirt and your fingers are raw. Even then, you have to work a little more to make the hole big enough for you to fully poke your head out.

And what you see, is not what you’re expecting.

You thought you’d see the building or at least remnants of it being collapsed around you. What you do see, is an inky black sky and rolling gray clouds, which you only notice when lightning flashes. Flecks of snow drift past but when one lands on your hand, you realize it’s not snow. It’s the ash you’ve been breathing in.

Terrified and confused beyond belief, you maneuver yourself out from under your porcelain prison and get to your feet. Your legs are weak and your body aches but miraculously, you’re not injured.

But, looking around, all you can wonder is, where the hell are you?

It looks like Hawkins. Sort of. And yet, it’s clearly not. The sky. It thunders occasionally but the lightning is almost constant. And there’s no moon. None. There was definitely a moon twenty minutes ago when you walked from your car to your building.

Speaking of. You look around. There are parts of your building but not the way you would think there would be. It’s like half the building fell through to whatever this place was, and the rest stayed behind. Like someone took a giant knife and sliced the place right down the middle. The ground is littered with cracks around you, but they’re filled in by building parts, the walls of your apartment somehow fused with the ground of this place.

What the hell are you supposed to do? How can you get out of here and get back? Can you get back?

Your mind is racing with fear and you are starting to hyperventilate. Suddenly, from above there comes a screeching noise that’s so high-pitched you have to cover your ears. Looking up in the sky, dark shapes are moving fast, circling and circling in an endless loop. Lightning flashes, illuminating the sky and the hundreds of bat-like monstrosities that have spotted their next meal. You.

Heart racing and stomach twisting in knots, your body is telling you one thing: run.

With your backpack slung over your shoulder, you pick a direction and bolt. Your sock-covered feet stumble and trip over the uneven ground, making you feel like you’re running in a nightmare. A terrible nightmare, the kind where you run as fast as you can but can never escape the dark thing that’s chasing you. This can’t be real. This can’t possibly be real. But when you trip over a large root and scrape your palm as you catch yourself, the searing pain reminds you that you are, in fact, awake. Awake and running for your life.

One of the creatures swoops down as you scramble to get back up.

Its talons rake across your shoulder and you cry out in pain, stumbling in your attempt to escape. It’s bleeding, the warm wet feeling seeps into your white tank-top, changing it to red. The smell of blood only riles the creature up more. You keep going, trying not to look back even though you hear more screeching. You know the creature is coming back for another attack, not as patient as its kin. This time, you manage to duck out of the way and it soars past your head. For the first time, you get a glimpse of it, and its shocking horrible visage almost makes you trip again.

Have to run. Have to keep going. Have to find somewhere safe.

But where’s safe in this godforsaken place?

Chunks of buildings and walls with no support litter the area around you. You do your best to use them to your advantage, bobbing and weaving through empty doorways and broken storefronts. The creatures screech even louder and now multiple ones are taking their shot at you, swooping, and trying to claw whatever part of you they can reach. In desperation, you clutch the strap of your bag tight and fling it around, hitting one of the bastards dead on and sending it tumbling across the ground.

Before you can celebrate, you see a swarm of them on your heels. Right as you face forward, you realize the ground slopes sharply. There’s no stopping your momentum and you go tumbling down.

Jagged boulders and thick vines tear at every bit of exposed skin, drawing more blood which only enrages the beasts even further. When you finally stop, you’re at the bottom of a deep ravine. You’re not alone. Several bodies are lying motionless around you. One look at their torn corpses lets you know they’re dead. The creatures shriek excitedly, circling you, the lone live prey in their little den of gore. Get up! your brain yells. Move! Move! Move!

Body on fire, you scramble to your feet, slipping on dirt, blood, and who knows what else. You reach the wall of the ravine and swing your backpack onto your back. The stone and dirt are jagged enough for you to climb. But without shoes, your feet are having a hard time finding purchase and you keep sliding down towards the bottom. The creatures haven’t dived yet, and you get the sense that they’re playing with you, watching you struggle before they swope in for the final kill.

You’re almost to the top. Just a bit more…

Your foot gives out right when you catch the edge of the ravine. With both hands, you hang on for dear life trying to pull yourself up. Damn it, why did you never pay attention in gym class?! The one time knowing how to do a pull-up would come in handy! Your socks slide uselessly against the dirt and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. The creatures are getting louder and louder. You’re doomed. This is it. This is how you die.

One of the creatures dives and you shut your eyes, flinching, and waiting for the pain. But instead, it screams in agony and when you look, just inches from your face, you see a knife poking out where its face should be. The creature gets flung off to the side and from the darkness, a figure steps forward.

A pale, blood-stained face, dark eyes, plush lips, and long stringy hair tied up in a bandana come into focus as a young man around your age crouches down to your level. Eddie Munson holds his makeshift spear in one hand and extends his other for you to take.

“Come with me if you want to fucking live.”

Without hesitation, you grab his hand.

He gives you the leverage you need to pull yourself out of the ravine. The moment you’re on solid ground, he’s running and dragging you along with him. The creatures are screaming in dismay. They’re done playing with their food and start to angrily dive down. Eddie’s grip on your hand is tight and is the only thing keeping you from falling down. Your body jerks to the right as he takes a sudden turn and you find yourself in a labyrinth of buildings, all similar to yours, with half walls and chunks of bricks here and there. More bodies litter the ground and you don’t even have a chance to think about whether they’re alive or not.

Then, without warning, Eddie ducks to the left and yanks you down into a small crevice.

“What are—?”

He pulls you against his chest to keep you still and slaps his hand over your mouth, stopping you mid-sentence. You freeze, the sounds of flapping wings and angry squeals flying past your hiding spot. Your body is shaking and your lungs on are fire, not just from running but from holding your breath to try not to make a sound. Eddie still hasn’t removed his hand yet. He’s shaking too one arm curled around your waist to keep you still.

After what feels like an eternity, the angry screeching dies down, replaced by horrible crunching noises. It seems the bats decided to go for easier prey, snacking on the bodies you and Eddie jumped over.

Only then does he let you go. Immediately, you pull away, putting as much distance between you two as possible. Which, given the tight space isn’t much. He’s still leaning against the wall, now pressing his hands to his abdomen. His spear and shield lay discarded at his feet. Your shoulder is burning and you glance over to see three deep claw marks in your flesh. It hurts like a bitch but the blood is already starting to clot.

You can feel Eddie’s eyes on you and you nervously meet his gaze. “You’re Eddie Munson. You’re that guy they say killed that cheerleader.”

“I saved your life and all you can do is accuse me of murder?”

He smirks and you can see blood in his mouth. It’s then that you realize the hands against his stomach are coated with it. His pale face is somehow even paler now and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was on death’s door.

“Did you do it?”

“No.”

You have no reason to believe him. But given the fact that he just saved your life, you’re willing to bet he’s telling the truth. You motion to his wounds. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m aware of that.” Sliding onto the ground, his face twists with pain. “You wouldn’t happen to be a nurse or a doctor would you?”

“No.”

“Great. Hey, listen, if I bleed out, make sure I look cool doing it. Okay?”

With that, his eyes shut and he slumps over.

---

Taglist

(Some of the tags wouldn’t work and I’m not sure why other than, you know, it’s Tumblr)

@thirddeadlysin @imagine-all-the-imagines @ladymunson @daddychicka @nerdyboylover @witchymoonbabe @fangirling-4-ever @sadbitchfangirl

#eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #joseph quinn #stranger things #strangerthings #eddiemunson

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babygirlgarrus7 · 11 months

Text

Foundings

Warnings: swearing, politics, fluff, angst (naturally)

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Masterlist

Rewrite the Stars

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

POV GARRUS

Garrus laid on the luxury soft bed looking up at the galaxy, watching the stars and blackness of where they laid. It was quiet beside the humming of the Normandy or the bubbles of the fish tank. If he wasn’t down in the Crew Member area or lounge with the others, he was here. In Shepard’s quarters. Laying in the bed that they both shared about 6 months ago.

He could still smell her lavender scent on the pillow just the place not warm but ice cold. His mandibles twitched from the sudden sunken feeling he kept getting. Garrus only had felt this feeling maybe 2 or 3 times. The first one was when him and his family found out about his mother sickness, how she wouldn’t be able to pull through it. Second the realization of knowing his teammates were being massacred by the Omega thugs. The last one…well…Shepard.

Garrus’s dreams is haunted by how he had to let go of Shepard, when she barreled head first toward the Citdal. Without him. “There is no Shepard without Vakarian.” Her haunting voice would echo. To his guilt he felt like he failed her, letting her go alone. Maybe if he was there, she could have walked out alive. Be alive. Be her…

Tap. Tap. Tap.

He didn’t flinch, didn’t move, hells he didn’t want to speak. Garrus wanted to be left alone, alone in his thoughts. “Garrus?” Spirits…Liara.

He let out a long sigh before sitting up and walking to the door. “Come in.” He said softly before sitting is the desk chair Shepard would sit in. Could be in.

The fresh dexto noodles hit his nostrils. Garrus didn’t even realize he was hungry until the growl that burst through the room. He usually would be embarrassed but instead he looked up at Liara. She smiled softly at him. “I figured that you were hungry, it’s been almost 10 hours since you haven’t come down.”

“I guess I lost track of time.” Garrus lied and he knows that Liara knew that he lied. She set the tray on the desk.

After a quiet couple of moments and him not even glancing at the food just at the tank, Liara spoke. “Tali was going to come up here and give a whole speech for you,” He snapped his head over to her after she let out a chuckle then Liara sighed. “We all miss her you know?”

Garrus knew that, he wasn’t blinded by the fact that Tali the first couple of weeks would drink and drink until she would sleep on the couch. Liara isolating. Joker has been not so talkative, since Garrus isn’t the only one who lost their companion. James would spar with anyone who was willing. Steve would try to be the pulling center to have everyone come to peace. Even Javik was upset in his own Prothean way.

It wasn’t until last week where everyone was coping with the fact that their Commander isn’t here. Not Garrus, when playing cards he missed the laughter coming from next to him when James and Steve would bicker. Or when standing around talking missed the vocals he heard when she talked. It wasn’t the same.

When Garrus didn’t answer and looked at the fishes Liara leveled with him. Her eyes looking at his. “She is alive,” Garrus whispered. “She has to be. Yet,” He paused watching as Liara stood up and sat against the wall next to the bathroom. “I don’t know if I believe that anymore.”

Liara sighed and nodded her head, thinking. “Have you read the Externet?”

“Yeah I haven’t seen anything.” He admitted. Garrus would be on there for hours refreshing over and over again until the next headline. Read it. Move on.

“I haven’t found anything yet, my agents haven’t responded still. Everyone is across the galaxy, I’m hoping that eventually we will hear that they found her, alive.” She murmured.

Garrus tapped one of his talons against the desk. The same sunk feeling. When Garrus didn’t put her name on the wall of the fallen, Liara immediately searched for days. Tali was and has been hopeful as well, really everyone has. Hope is a dangerous game to play, you can be successful in winning it or fail miserably.

Liara chuckled for a moment and Garrus looked down at her. Raising his face plates. “Do you remember when Shepard actually flipped the Mako.”

Garrus smiled he remembered how Shepard was pissed as they got out. It was on a grass type planet, monkeys took an important part from a Alliance drone. Instead of hitting one she swerved and flipped completely. Shepard was yelling at the monkey while it stared at her blankly walking away then called Joker to pick them up.

“How could I forget? Her yelling at the monkey,” He chuckled, actually chuckled. Which hasn’t happened since before landing on Earth to defeat the Reapers. Liara smiled and shook her head. “Joker was confused on why 20 minutes later he had a pick up.”

“She did not hear the end of it for months after.” Liara said laughing.

They both fell quiet before Liara inhaled, she was about to speak until the room was interrupted by a voice ringing through the room. “Hey, we are about 3 hours from Earth I would suggest to get freshened up for the new council.” Joker announced, his voice sounding a bit normal.

Liara and Garrus looked at each other then up. “New council?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah, Steve got the comms to work and Hatchet patched through. Sounds like the old council got killed as well.” Joker said. “So get showering, no one wants the smell of road kill bud.”

“Yeah yeah,” Garrus said waving his hands in the air like Joker was here. Joker just chuckled before it went silent again. Garrus looked down and sighed. “The galaxy has to keep moving.”

Liara sighed as Garrus helped her up from her sitting position. “Unfortunately that is how it goes doesn’t it?” Garrus nodded and watch her walk out. “Best suit Garrus.” She called out as the door closed behind her.

He froze for a moment before shaking himself awake. Garrus walked into the shower and turned it on. He inhaled deeply letting his talons hit the water. Warm. How she would like it, usually he would like it a bit warmer but she told him it’s healthier for her hair to have it in the middle. (Even though he looked it up and its freezing cold water.)

Garrus walked out and walked to a corner of the closet where he had certain armor and clothing in the corner. “You can bring things up here so you can be comfortable. Or if we are cuddling. Or when we…” She coughed when he slapped her ass.

He chuckled. “Miss me that much Shepard?” The tease, the start of a back and forth tease.

She snapped her head over, those beautiful green and brown eyes. Hazel. It reminded him of planets that had green sceneries with mountains. “Eh, no you just keep me company Vakarian.” How her vocals become silky when she teases.

“You always will have my company, my dear.” He said with more of a growl in the end. He didn’t mean to but damn Shepard made him feel ways that he never knew he could. Garrus walked over to her wrapping his arms around her. She exhaled deeply leaning into his touch, Putting her arms against his, while watching her fish.

“I think we need to shower.” She blurted out. He huffed letting go of her to pull her to face him.

“How long can we be?” He asked leaning down to kiss her neck.

Garrus opened his eyes as the water trickled down his body, the echo of her laughter in the back of his mind. He inhaled deeply as he started to finish up washing the rest of his soap off. Going back to Earth was hard for him to face, the last time he went was the last time he saw Shepard. He just hoped that it will be just a quick meeting and that would be that.

He got into his favorite suit, the one he wore back when Shepard and him went on their date on the SilverStrip. Spirits…What a night, the way the lights of the bar illuminated their bodies as they danced. They way her leg was latched on to his hip. Damn it how it made her smile.

Those hours went by quickly as he stood behind Joker as they watched Earth come into view. There was still ships that were blown up to bits, different kinds of course. Quarian, Turian, Asari, Salarian, Krogan, Geth hell even Batarian ships. Shepard did all this, had racies come together to defeat the almighty Reapers. Other ships floating around cleaning the debris.

“By the Godess.” Liara whispered as they passed a Reaper that the Alliance and Salarian ships, were taking apart.

Joker sighed then pointed. “Look at the Geth. They seem…lifeless…”

Garrus watched as their ships just floated around. Different ships gathering around them taking Geth out. “Seems like they are.” He said as they went into the atmosphere of Earth.

When the headquarters of the Alliance came into view, the destruction and smoke that surrounded the area. It was cleaning up well, just as anyone would want or hope for. Many species helping out lifting the larger things, carrying wounded. Them still finding bodies alive or not have him but more hope to finding Shepard.

“This is Alliance base, Normandy is that you?” The voice rang in front of Joker. The man sounded astonished, excited, thrilled?

“This is the SSV Normandy, we need clearance to land.” Joker asked looking at the landing area. Destroyed and non destroyed ships on the ground.

“You are cleared. Hacket is already waiting for you all. Welcome home Normandy.”

Home. Garrus thought as he turned away and headed towards the others that circled around the map. “We are landing.” Garrus announced as James looked up.

“Ah hell yeah! Can’t wait to actually feel the ground.” He cheered as they walked towards the door.

Garrus looked at the map and were the platform that overlooked everyone. He wish Shepard could see how this all ended, how we won. Actually won. He had his doubts of course, it didn’t look well for a while. Now…Now they are alive. “Garrus?” Tali asked putting her hand on his shoulder.

“I’m coming.” He answered walking side by side with her, the door was already open and the sunlight came peering through.

When Garrus walked out he saw swarm of people applauding, whistling, screaming. Soldiers mostly, from different backgrounds, colors, species. His mandibles twitched, they were being celebrated? Joker was waving as he wobbled down, Liara gave a slight wave and smile, Tali did the same, James was giving high fives, Javik trying his best not to make eye contact, Kaiden doing the same but slightly waving, and Garrus he tried not to pay too much attention but waved anyways.

Hatchet smiled as they approached. “Look alive and well Normandy,” He said looking around at them. “Been eager to see you all in person.” He frowned. “Sorry that the Commander isn’t here to see this.”

He had to expect her name to be dropped every now and then but it still brought that sunk feeling. “As are we.” Liara spoke as the all walked towards the building.

Once walking through the building there were others lined up against the wall with more clapping and cheering. Garrus was…well overwhelmed. There were many thank yous and cheers however, he felt like he was the last person to thank. The person that should be is…

“Oh,” Tali said as they came up with a statue of Shepard. “That’s…uh.”

Hackett looked over to where the statue stood. In the middle of the large room that had sections of hallways. The broken glass windows above to make the room more comfortable or bright naturally. “Uh yes,” He sounded unsure when looking at it. “The council suggested it, the human one.” He whispered while continued.

Garrus looked at it for a while, it was remarkably detailed, even got the small scar on her upper lip. “Garrus,” Tali asked standing next to him. “I think Shepard would blow that up.”

“I would have her a grenade too.” Joker mumbled following the rest of the group.

Garrus chuckled. “Yeah she would, probably yell at the council while doing it.”

Tali laughed a bit. “Let’s hope it’s gone before she sees it.”

Garrus felt his mandibles twitch once again. If she sees it, if she is alive. He walked with Tali as they were walking through the hallway, with no clapping. Just business, people running to and fro to their destination. Hackett walked through the car door that opened with walls that were not as destroyed. The alien council stood at the end. The Turian was a hologram and no other than Primarch Victus. So was the Salarian. The other three he did not recognize. Human, Salarian, and Asari.

“Ah they are here,” The Asari said as she walked towards them. “Pleasure to finally meet you.” She extended her hand to Garrus who shook her hand.

The human nodded his head before looking at the others. “Shall we begin?”

Victus nodded his head and the Salarian as well. “Normandy, I am very happy to see you all well,” Victus said as he itched the side of his mandible. “Wish I was there in person to hand out the medals we have.”

The Asari nodded her head as she stood next to the others. “Unfortunately that is not what is brought here today, tomorrow will be the celebration.”

“Celebration?” Kaiden asked as he looked over at them.

“Well of course. You are the heros at the end of it all.” The Salarian said as he waved his arm to them.

“We are here to greet you and ask for report of your travels is all and our…” The Asari stopped before frowning. “Condolences to loosing your Commander.”

“One of our best Spectres,” The human said putting his hands behind his back. “We will be celebrating her as well, tomorrow.”

Garrus looked over at Tali who looked at him. She glared at him and shook her head slightly. She knew just as well as him is that no one needed that right now. We need to know if she found or find her. “Are you not looking for her still?” Garrus asked looking at Victus.

Victus looked over at the Asari before looking up again. “We…We have been searching for her since the war ended. However, we haven’t found any sort of information about her being alive or dead.”

“We might cut the funding of finding her,” Garrus snapped his head over the the Salarian. “It is getting quiet expensive, which we can not afford at the moment.”

“Afford,” The word echoed through the room behind them. Garrus turned, it was a lady, in Alliance Admiral uniform. Her hair was slicked back into a bun and she had fair white skin. She looked just like Shepard but older with more white in her hair. “Please Jarro like anyone is going to be paying for what the Reapers left behind.”

“Admiral Shepard, we didn’t expect you to be in this meeting.” The Asari said with a smirk on her face.

The Admiral walked passed the crew and stood in front. “I never do plan on attending these meetings but since my daughter’s crew is standing here. I wanted to meet them,” She turned to them and smiled. “Which I am thrilled they are alive and standing.”

“Admiral this meeting was strictly for them, you have no…” Jarro started to say before she snapped her head over.

“Jarro I don’t have time for this the search for people including my daughter the one you plaster all over the galaxy is still being searched for. We have an Asari company giving those funds on top of Turian. The Korgan clan leader Wrex graciously did as well.” She handed a holopad to the human councilor. He looked down at the pad and nodded to the Asari who took it as well.

Jarro crossed his arms. “It’s been 8 months Admiral Shepard. She could be dead by now.”

“Could be. It has already been approved on the human council,” She inhaled deeply. “Which if I may is not your jurisdiction anyways. This was more as an informant for the Loula and Victus.”

Garrus smirked a bit, now he knows where his Shepard gets the spice. He always admired how Mila would shake the room around her with just words. Would put anyone in their spot who needs to be. He turned to see Hackett pinching the bridge of his nose. It was silent for a moment before a sigh left the salarian’s lips.

“Alright, we will continue this search of yours however…”

“Counselors,” Another voice came from behind it was a short man holding a pad. “You all might want to see this.”

When they granted that he could videos popped up on screens, it was a news coverage, it looked familiar to Garrus. His eyes widened as they all watched a group of men and women gathering in one spot. “This is Clove Beckom coming at you live from London. This was the last location of the sighting of Shepard, no one has found her until now.”

Admiral Shepard shifted seemed like she froze then she snapped her head over at the Counselors. “What is this? Is this true?” Her voice cracked as she snapped her head back at the solider who just stood there and nodded once.

The solider nodded his head. “I just received this message about 10 minutes ago.”

The Admiral’s omitool went off, all eyes on her. Her hand shook as she clicked it. “Admiral,” Garrus held his breath for the next line. “We found Commander Shepard. Ma’am. She is alive.”

“By the goddess.” Liara whispered. The crew was just as shocked didn’t know what to say or do. How could they? This whole time they believed she died went down and killed the Reapers.

Not Garrus, he knew she had to be but Garrus couldn’t believe it still. He is here and now she is alive.

#garrus vakarian #mass effect trilogy #garrus x femshep #shakarian #femshep #garrus #garrus x shepard #turian x human #mila reneè shepard

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queenseowon · 11 months

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"Colors of Bang Yongguk Tour" Fan Account - Oakland, CA (230616)

It’s been 2 days since I saw Yongguk live and he’s truly been on my mind non-stop for the last 48 hours. :’)

>>Personal “Origin” Story<< Since B.A.P debuted and were active during my high school and college years, unfortunately I never had the money (or time) to be able to attend any of their concerts. When I saw that Yongguk was going on tour, I didn’t know what to think -- I’ve been in and out of my “kpop phase” for the last 12 years, and the only group that I consistently stanned throughout that time was BTS. All of my friends are either newer kpop fans or strictly girl group fans so I knew I’d be going to this concert alone, but ultimately I knew it wouldn’t be a big deal as I’ve gone solo to many concerts in the past. I saw the (shockingly) low price of the ticket and the venue being so nostalgic (I partied a decent amount at The New Parish pre-COVID lol) so I bought my ticket happily in May. The excitement did nothing but grow overtime.

I’ve been thinking about how many BABYz used to write fan accounts during fan signings/concerts waaay back in the day (if you were on Tumblr during 2012-2014, you’ll know what I mean). I remember being a teenager discovering kpop for the first time, having B.A.P be the first group where I started stanning since debut, learned every member’s name, kept up with releases on the daily, had Yongguk become my first “ult bias” (before I even knew what that was) and “fan’d” my heart out every comeback on Tumblr. I wanted to write a fan account to remember this concert but also hopefully share it with other long-time BABYz who are feeling nostalgic!

>>Going solo to the concert<< As (somewhat) expected, I met some amazing people in line as well as inside the venue who were also attending the concert solo! For me, I love hearing about how others got into stanning a certain musician or group as well as their favorite(s) song(s). As someone who didn’t grow up with other “kpop friends”, it felt so surreal to think that there were others like me 10+ years ago fully enjoying the same music, and having that musician tie everyone together now one decade later. Sometimes I get anxious in crowds and especially with strangers, but I did not feel that way for even a minute before, during, and after the concert. Maybe it’s a mix of the Bay Area/California and long-time BABY vibes. (Also fun sidenote: some people and I were comparing our tattoos in line and we said “Okay now it’s time for Yongguk to do a tattoo tour. Show the chest piece pls” -- So when Yongguk came out in that button-up shirt with only two buttons buttoned and his chest tattoo on full display… I need y’all to know we manifested that for everyone’s benefit. 😩🫡)

>>REACTION TO THE CONCERT & SONGS<< I’m not sure how long people were lined up for, but I arrived around 5PM (doors opened at 6PM and the concert started at 7PM) and I ended up standing to the right of the stage (Yongguk’s left) in the second/third-ish row right next to the speakers with an amazing up close view the entire night. (In hindsight, I should have remembered to bring my ear plugs because I’m not as young as I used to be and should probably take better care of my eardrums and hearing lol). Also, as I mentioned before, I knew the venue relatively well so I knew to go to the side closer to the stage rather than standing several rows back in the middle even if it meant having not as wide of a view of the stage. The person next to me and I were super excited because our angle meant we were going to be able to see the minute Yongguk appeared from off stage and onto the stage.

Although normally I do not listen to the setlist of artists before their concerts, I hadn’t listened to Yongguk consistently in years so I did look up the setlist and made my own Spotify playlist to get myself hyped up and ready to sing along. As soon as Yongguk came out, I feel like I metaphorically blacked out for the first couple songs (GMT, Up, Race) because I did not remember those performances until I watched others’ fancams. I think I came to my senses during “Rain on Me” because that is THE twerk anthem. The sex appeal and confidence from him from the start of the concert (and especially during “Rain on Me”) was no joke. I feel like my jaw was probably embarrassingly dropped wide open for all of the first songs. There’s also something feral that awakes inside me everytime he says “you never fucking know” and the chorus of “UFO” starts then his voice DROPS a register as he starts rapping and hearing that live??? I was transported to another dimension.

When he started singing “Hikikomori” then went into “I Remember” I think it was then I realized he was doing this tour for us -- for the fans and the BABYz who have been here the whole time (or at least a very long time). As I’m writing this now and reflecting, everything he said during his ments/talks was him just continuously thanking us, telling us how much he loves us, and saying how it’s been “such a long time”. I literally could choke up thinking about it right now how he’s waited just as long as we have.

Yongguk asked the audience to put their phones down so he could make eye contact with every person. And like someone said, “when Bang Yongguk tells you to do something, you do it no questions asked.” Then he started singing “Screwed Up” while literally looking at every corner of the venue, balcony, floor, sidestage -- literally my delulu mind was convinced he was staring and flirting with me too. I lost the “IDGAF if this man notices me” war right then and there. (I have yet to find a fancam of “Screwed Up”, which is fair because he told us to put our phones down, but if anyone has a video of him literally making flirty eyes to the entire audience, PLEASE send it to me.)

Right after “Screwed Up”, he goes into “Green” and at the end said something similar to “I wrote Green so I could sing it with all of my fans one day, so thank you for singing along with me.” and I just about sobbed.

By “Ride or Die” and “YA” he is fully body rolling everywhere on stage, flirting with every single person in the audience, and everyone is losing their minds (including me).

Also at some point during the show he started sending so many air kisses to everyone. He also would be (seemingly) speechless in between sets and just repeated “wow… woah…” and kept showing his gummy smile 😭 The cheers were so loud inside the venue sometimes my ears were ringing just from the crowd singing and screaming so I wonder if he was in awe or wasn’t expecting that? (Even though he deserves all the love!)

Then at some point the crowd started chanting “take it off” (meaning his shirt that was truly barely hanging onto him) and he gets SHY and kept asking “Why?” -- I just don’t understand how someone can go from biting his shirt, flirting with the entire audience, body rolling nonstop on stage, to a completely genuine “I’m so shy” cute smiley lil baby. He was so cute I could barely process him going from rapping his lungs out to “uwu vibes” in the matter of seconds and the only single thought my single braincell had was “so cute so cute so cute”. Yongguk is truly the duality of mankind. (He did eventually give one more ab flash [in addition to his “tattoo sticker” promo shirt lifting] so you can find that photo floating around on social media.)

He threw water (from bottles he drank out of) into the crowd twice during “OFF” and “YAMAKAZI” and I have never been happier to be blessed with holy water. I think “OFF” is my favorite hype song in recent years so I absolutely loved hearing that live -- despite it being toward the second half of the show, his energy never stopped and the crowd’s energy also kept getting more and more hyped.

Towards the end Yongguk said, “Although tonight is the last U.S. stop for the tour, it’s not a goodbye. I promise to come back… I’ve said this all tour, but as much as you all love me, please also love yourself.” Before starting “Orange Drive”, Yongguk dedicated the song to his fans and his grandfather in heaven. Then during the encore, alongside the usual “Xie Xie” and “See You Later” he also sang “Ride or Die” one more time and did a lot of fanservice.

His marketing worked because all the merch was soldout after the show, but I was able to snag the "tattoo sticker" sheet just like he suggested :') -- I am lowkey glad I was unable to get a meet & greet ticket because I feel like I was already internally combusting at the thought of having to meet him and take a selfie after the concert, so if it actually happened I probably would've externally exploded.

ALSO -- This man’s stamina is no joke though because he really kept going for a full 1.5 hours and jumping around on stage with minimal “ments/talking” in between songs. If this hadn’t been the last stop on his tour, I would have definitely considered attending another stop. If I had known how amazing of a performer he was and how great the energy would be to hear everything live (from him and the crowd), I would’ve balled out and gone to the LA stop the day before.

>>FUTURE?<< Yongguk promised he would release another album in the future and go on tour once again. Though none of us know when that will be, I know I will wait with anticipation for this experience to happen again (and again if he and/or other B.A.P members decide to tour). The combined elements of a small venue, love from BABYz and Yongguk, and seeing someone I feel like grew up alongside me is something that I won’t ever have the right words to describe, but can only feel. Thank you for taking the time to read my reflections and ramblings~

If you want to be mutuals, I’m on twitter @ queenseowon <3

#bang yongguk #yongguk #yong guk #b.a.p yongguk #b.a.p #bap #230616 #colors of bang yongguk tour

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