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#aftg incorrect quotes
Andrew: I would like to propose a toast...
The Monsters: *confused but raising their glasses*
Andrew: ...to this gift card I found in Aaron's wallet.
Aaron: You asshole, that was for my date with Katelyn next weekend.
Andrew: *checking the receipt* There is still two bucks left on the card. Be sure to get yourselves something nice to eat. I heard the ice water is delightful.
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thisuserlovesyou · 11 hours ago
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Andrew, introducing himself: Hi, I'm Andrew. But if you touch anyone I care about, I'll start identifying as a possible cause of death.
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neilmfjosten · 13 hours ago
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Neil: I would fight satan for you
Andrew: You would fight satan for fun, I’m not special
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yazzillett · 16 hours ago
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FICTIONAL CHARACTERS FOR WHOM I HAVE REAL FEELINGS.
1.None. We must separate fact from fiction and understand that these people don't exist and that they could generate high standards in terms of tastes that could frustrate us.
2. KEVIN DAY
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neilmfjosten · 17 hours ago
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Neil: Why are you like this?
Andrew: I used too much “No More Tears” shampoo as a child and haven’t felt a single emotion since then.
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thisuserlovesyou · a day ago
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Neil: *trying to teach Raven drills while Kevin is away*
Nicky: Hey,Kevin -I mean Neil!
Neil:...
*later*
Neil: Nicky called me Kevin.
Neil: And I will forever be haunted by that fact.
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
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Neil: How petty can you get?
Kevin: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
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[police sirens wailing outside]
Nicky, who’s never done anything wrong in his life: They’ve found me.
Neil, turning to Andrew: What have you done this time?
Andrew: ...
Aaron: Aren’t you the one that killed people??
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
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Matt: What was the dumbest thing you believed as a child?
Neil [watching Andrew play exy]: That I was straight.
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
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Matt: So what did the paper in your fortune cookie say?
Neil: [eating the entire cookie] the what
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
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Neil: Okay, we gotta get through this locked door, Kevin quick give me your credit card
Kevin: Okay
Neil, pocketing it: Cool. Andrew, kick the door down
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thisuserlovesyou · a day ago
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Jean, at the fall banquet: We know who you really are, kiddo.
Neil: Oh, that doesn't sound good.
Jean: It isn't. I just added kiddo to soften the blow, kiddo.
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Renee: You know, a regular person would just tell the boy they like that they like them.
Andrew: *standing in front of a white board that says "I hate Neil but still want to date him* Sure, but would a regular person come up with an elaborate plan that involves kidnapping and a high speed police chase that inevitably ends with us going over a cliff Thelma and Louise style?
Renee: No, no they would not. Can I make a suggestion?
Andrew: *long pause* Fine.
Renee: Let's make that plan B and I could tell him first.
Andrew: If you insist.
Renee: I do.
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rocky-foxy · 3 days ago
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hc that nicky finally gives in and buys Neil a smartphone and then regrets it immediately as he has to spend 2 weeks explaining how to use a smiley face that doesn’t consist of : and ).
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anonknown · 3 days ago
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Dan: Don’t tell your mother...
Allison: Kiss one another...
Neil: DIE FOR EACH OTHER!
Everyone, ready to hold him back: NEIL NO!
Nicky walking in late: Cool for the summer!
Andrew, watching it all go down: Nice job idiots.
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funkylittlebidiot · 4 days ago
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Tony: why does Christine think the ligature marks on my wrists are from you tying me down?
Stephen:
Stephen: presumably she thinks you’re as bad at following instructions in bed as she is
Tony: But you hate me?
Stephen: every inch of you
Stephen: that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you
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Renee: What’s your biggest fear?
Dan: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.
Allison: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
Matt: Zombies.
Dan: ...
Allison: ...
Matt: BUT they can open doors.
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