#I don’t feel anything anymore I don’t know what to do I wanna bury myself

[sukiipjs]

✮ BLONDIE : PT 1

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↳ nick sturniolo x masc reader

↳ words - 2239

↳ summary - you’ve been having a hard time realizing and accepting the fact that you’re gay, and in love with your best friend. you try to ignore the feelings but that only makes everything worse until you can’t hide it anymore.

↳ contains - swearing, angst, use of y/n, internalized homophobia, depression, crying, idk??? [READ PT 2 - PT 3]

↳ song - blondie by current joys

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nick has been my best friend for years, he’s always been there for me, and me there for him. we met in the first grade when he saw me alone at recess on the swings and he ran up to me, asking if i wanted to play with him and his brothers. one of the many things i love about him, hes always there, always there to help, or just be with. from that day on he’s always been my number one but honestly, i’ve been kind of avoiding him lately.

of course i don’t want to, i really really don’t want to, trust me, but i don’t want to make anything bad between us either. even though pushing him away is probably fucking things up anyway.

the thing is, for months, maybe even years now i think that i might be coming to a realization: i think i’m gay, or not gay but bi? i hate labels, i dont want to be put into a box, its honestly just hard to fit into one too. i mean i’ve had girlfriends before and i’ve liked that, but nick…

okay i might be coming to another realization: i think i’m in love with nick. and to make everything worse, i can’t even talk to anyone about this because the only person i would tell is nick, but if i told him, well i just cant, it could destroy our friendship. he’d hate me, i cant lose him.

but maybe i’m not in love with him, i mean i love nick, i always have but maybe its not love love? maybe its just me appreciating our friendship more. okay who am i kidding it’s definitely becoming more, I LOVE HIM. he’s just perfect, in general, to me, to everyone. i want to spend every moment of my life with him, i want to hug him and never let him go, i want to be with him, i just want to see him again.

i can’t even imagine what he’d say if he knew i liked him. he’d probably be disgusted, i’d ruin our friendship forever. i cant do that, i can’t risk anything like that, i need him even if that means the best thing i can do is just stay away, make up lies of why i cant hang out, slowly stop texting him, i mean maybe it's not the best thing but its either i do this and try and force these feelings down or i tell him and ruin everything. this is better, or at least that’s what i keep telling myself.

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nick 🫶

| wanna hang out today? haven’t seen you in forever, i’m boredddd

| i know i’m sorry, but i cant today, really really sorry. still not feeling good

| that’s okay, hope you feel better though 💕 if you need anything tell me okay?

| i’d rather hang out with you and get sick then spend one more second with my idiot brothers over here 💀

i stare at the message on my screen, i’m not sick, i’m just trying to be a good friend… by avoiding my best friend… sure, whatever.

i slam down my phone on my mattress, rolling over and burying my face in my pillow. muffled screams from my mouth as tears, start to pour from my eyes. every time i message him, saying i cant hang out i immediately regret it. i want to see him, i always do but again, i cant, i fucking cant. it would only make my feelings stronger and i just need to get rid of them as soon as i can so things can just go back to how they were.

fuck, here comes the spiral that ive been replaying in my head forever. do i even really like him? am i really bi, gay, straight, whatever the fuck? i don’t even know, it’s all too confusing and stressful right now. why can’t i just be me? and have my best friend with me again? actually hang out with him, see him?

all i can really do right now is continue screaming and crying into my pillow about how much of a shitty friend i’m being, great. I constantly stalk his instagram, trying to see if i do really like him and try to see what he’s up to without me, i miss him so much.

…i wish he was a girl then i would be straight and all this shit wouldn’t hurt so much. i’m not trying to say that being gay is bad, all i’m saying is that it would be easier to figure all this out if i was straight and he was a girl. i know that’s so messed up to say but i don’t know how else to put it.

if he was a girl, i’d know that i’m in love with him, i wouldn’t be so afraid to accept myself because there wouldn’t be anything to accept. i’d just be me and he’d she’d be him her, i’d get to be his her boyfriend and we’d be a happy couple. i’d be happy and i wouldn’t have to push the person i love most in this stupid world away…

i smash my face into my silky white pillowcase over and over, shaking my head as i force the sides of the pillow into my face more. i want to suffocate.

i scream into my pillow more and more. ‘i love you nick, i love you nick, i love you. i DONT love you nick, i DONT love you nick, i DONT love you… but i do, i really really do, but i cant… i really really fucking cant.’

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i stay rotting in my bed, spiraling about random shit, taking random quizzes of ‘am i gay?’ or ‘am i in love with my bestfriend?’ or ‘is it a crush?’ like i know.

soft blankets cover me, my silky pillows supporting my back as i rewatch rupaul's drag race on my computer until i finish it again, oreos and empty dr pepper cans surround me. and of course, nick always in my mind, everything reminding me of him, those stupid quizzes, his favorite show, his favorite drink. i wish he could be here, like how we used to hang out before i started ruining everything but i could be ruining it more, at least im keeping my mouth shut.

every once and a while, a message from nick pops up. him sending me a tiktok or telling me about how spacecamp is going or just something random, asking how im doing, if im still sick. most times i try to ignore him, turning off the notifications but i answer sometimes, only one or two words, maybe just an emoji, just trying to say something. i don’t want him to think i hate him or anything, i still of course love him.

the only time i ever get up from my bed is to go the the bathroom or get more food, ive been wearing the same two sweatpants alternating them and random shirts that i throw on the floor after i wear them for enough. my hair shaggy and a scratchy stubble on my face. i look and feel gross. i didnt think that forcing my best friend away and trying to figure out my sexuality could make me this depressed, who knew.

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weeks pass of me ignoring (or at least trying to ignore) nick and weeks of screaming into my sheets and sleeping all day become more and more. i finally decide to leave my apartment and stock up on some random things that will help me rot in my room even more: coffee, chips, oreos, whatever else i might want.

as i scan the aisle for dr pepper, standing in my gray hoodie with the hood covering me and one of the two sweatpants i’ve been wearing on, i hear a voice at the end of the row calling to me, “y/n?” my head turns to see who knows me that’s here, about to see how disgusting i look and just my luck, it’s nick.

“nick” a bright smile floods my face, i haven’t seen him for what seems like forever, i look at his blonde hair with grown out brunette roots, plus that signature nose ring and star earrings, of course he looks great.

he runs up to me, giving me a warm hug as he smiles too, “oh my god i haven’t seen you in decadessss” he exaggerates, laughing at me, “you feeling better now?” i tilt my head a little, confused but then i remember my lie. “oh yeah, i am. even though i dont look it” i try to scoff a laugh, looking down at myself, excusing how ‘i dont care’ i look right now.

“you look fine.” he laughs back again, “you know… me, chris and matt were gonna go out for dinner soon, wanna come?” i can tell he really wants me to be there and i really want to but i try to push it away, still.

“uhhh, i think had something later, sorry” my small smile slowly fading as his does too, i don’t think i’ve seen his smile leave that fast. “really? we haven’t talked in weeks, i miss you” he jokes a little, but really we do miss each other.

“i know, i’m sorry, but i promise we’ll hang out soon yeah?” i try to fake a small smile, trying to make this a little better but nick still looks sad, “yeah okay, see you later then?” he looks like he hates me, he looks just annoyed, hurt. i feel terrible.

“yeah, later” i’m about to walk closer to give him another hug but he leaves, to i assume go find his brothers, before i can. i’m terrible.

i finish up grabbing my things before leaving and driving off, replaying our interaction in my head. i could’ve just went? it was one dinner, that’s all. not a big deal. but it’s too late, it would just be weird if my schedule suddenly cleared up now.

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i make my way back to my apartment, putting my bags down on the counter before going straight to my room again, flopping down on top of the pile of blankets and stuffed animals that cover my bed.

i dig in my pocket for my phone, taking it out as i grab a blanket to pull it over my face, closing off the sun that shines through my window.

i go straight to me and nicks messages, thinking of texting him. ‘i’m sorry’ too short, plain. ‘sorry, i was wrong i can go’ feels like i’m pitying him, plus just dumb. ‘i love you’ yeah definitely not. ‘come over? sorry’ again, stupid and he can NOT see the mess i have over here.

i decide on nothing and put my phone to the side of me, burying my head into my pillows again, tears flooding my eyes again again again. it’s too much. this is all stupid and i need to get over it all. this is terrible.

i go back to my cycle of curling up in warm blankets, eating my now new oreos and dr pepper and rewatching shows i’ve seen a million times before. and obviously stalking nicks instagram, he posted a story of him and his brothers at dinner. he’s still wearing those earrings and that same beige jacket he was wearing before, and he still looks great.

i swipe up, about to message him. ‘you look great, sorry i couldn’t come’ i quickly delete it and just like the story. i need to stop trying to message him when i’m trying to ignore him.

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after falling asleep shortly after i finished looking at nicks story i wake up to like five texts from who? nick, of course.

nick 🫶

| are you ignoring me?

| like did i do something or what?

| are you okay?

| can we just talk or hang out please?

| y/n?

| okay sorry actually, never mind

my heart drops, i feel so TERRIBLE. nick did nothing and i never want him to think that he did something wrong. he’s perfect.

i pick up my phone to respond but honesty i don’t know if i should… i want him to know that he did nothing but he’s right about me ignoring him… fuck this. i just ignore him, still.

i shut off my phone fast and roll to my other side, curling up my legs and staring at the small textured bumps on the off-white wall that i face. i take in every detail, trying to distract myself with something else. i spot all the tiny discolorations or stains on the wall, the way it all starts to blur when tears, again, rain out my eyes.

they drip on the curves of my cheeks and lips, my hands are tucked under my legs as he tears drop onto my sheets, i don’t bother wiping them off. they make a small circle ish shape when it hits on my bed with a darker gray on my gray sheets.

my spiraling hits again when the ridges on my wall go dark as my eyes close. why can’t my best friend just be my best friend? why can’t i just be a normal person? why can’t i just forget it all? why can’t this all just go away? why? why? why? why?

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taglist : @slutforchriss @mattsleftnipple03 @mattsdinosweater @ccolleenn @mixvchelle @leah-loves-lilies @sturn-wrld @redz0nez9 @cheriematt @freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @whore4matt @txssvx @will-yummy

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets x reader #sturniolo #𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐢𝐩𝐣𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝜗𝜚⋆ #sukiipjs #𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐢𝐩𝐣𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝜗𝜚⋆

[natashaismylove]

Enemy part 2 |N. Romanoff + W. Maximoff

Summary: a few years has passed and y/n has been feeling a little insecure after having her third baby and decides to surprise her wives once they come home. Wanda and Natasha then make sure that their wife knows just how beautiful she is.

Pairing: g!p Natasha x fem!reader x g!p Wanda

Warnings: smut, fluff, g!p Natasha and Wanda, unprotected sex, oral (Wanda and reader receiving), dom/sub dynamics, mommy kink, daddy kink, threesome, fingering, breeding kink, pregnancies, slight housewife kink, praise, dirty talk, orgasm control, body insecurities, pet names (baby, detka, princess, sweetheart)

Word count: 2107

A/N: this is part 2 but it can be read on its own without reading part 1.

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I checked my hair from different angles in the mirror, making sure everything was in place where it should be. I applied an extra layer of mascara and touched up my lipstick, wiping the edges to fix it. 

I stood up and ran my hands down my body, looking at the dark green, one-piece lingerie I had put on. The deep neckline showed off my cleavage, and the colour with the lacy, sheer fabric matched my skin tone nicely. I took a deep breath and nodded before giving myself a smile to boost my confidence. I heard the front door open and quickly made my way to the bed.

I sat down against the headboard before becoming unsure of my position. I moved to the middle of the bed and sat on my knees, but shook my head as it wasn’t quite right. I ended up sitting on my butt, one of my knees bent upwards as I leaned back on my hands behind me.

I watched the door nervously as I heard Natasha and Wanda’s footsteps come closer to our bedroom and I breathed in through my nose to calm myself.

“Y/n? Are you here, princess?” I heard Wanda ask loudly.

“Bedroom!” I yelled back.

“Where’s the kids?”

I watched as the door opened and saw my wives freeze once they saw me. Natasha looked me up and down while Wanda stared at me with a smirk. They stepped into the room, Nat taking off her jacket and putting it on the chair next to the door.

“The kids are with Steve, I asked him to babysit.” I answered the previous question.

Natasha stepped in front of me, lifting my chin up to look at her. “What’s all this, detka?”

Wanda got in the bed, sitting with her legs tucked under her before running her fingers up my side. I took a breath before answering my wife. “I wanted to do something nice for you two. We haven’t had sex in a while and I’ve really missed it.”

I bit my lip nervously before continuing. “I’ve been worried that you two aren’t attracted to me anymore… I mean, my body doesn’t look as nice as before and you haven’t been touching me like you used to.”

Natasha sighed before getting on the bed. She placed her hand on my stomach and smiled at me. “You are so beautiful, princess. God, if I’m being honest I would say you almost look better than you did before. You have always been gorgeous, but it’s a little extra now that your body shows that you’ve carried our three amazing kids.”

Wanda nodded in agreement as she laced her fingers with Natasha‘s, keeping their hands together on my stomach. “Three pregnancies will of course make some changes to your body, but as Natasha said, you are absolutely gorgeous. And yes, we’ve been keeping some distance sexually, you’re right about that. We just didn’t want to pressure you into anything, you only gave birth around four months ago so we wanted to give you a little break because we love you.”

I frowned a little. “I don’t need a break, I wanna have sex.”

Natasha gave a small chuckle. “Trust me, baby. It has not been easy for us. It’s taken a level of restraint and self control that we barely have. The amount of times we’ve wanted to bend you over and fuck you dumb or be buried between your legs has been too many to count.”

I smiled a little at her words. Wanda cupped my cheek and pulled me into a soft kiss before whispering against my lips. “You want us to fuck you, princess? Want us to show you just how beautiful you are and how much we love you?”

I nodded before kissing her again, making sure to deepen it immediately. She moaned into the kiss before putting her hand on my back, moving me down to lie on the bed. She didn’t pull away for a moment as she gripped my hair, keeping her other hand on my waist. The kiss was messy and desperate, being deprived of sex for so long fuelling the need for touch.

She moved down to kiss my neck so Natasha was quick to clash our lips together, moving her tongue against mine immediately. I moaned as Wanda sucked onto my sweet spot, leaving a red mark that would bruise later. Natasha pulled away and took off her shirt before unbuttoning her jeans, and once she stood in her bra and underwear she resumed the kiss. 

Wanda kissed down my chest and sucked marks all over, their possessive tendencies and need to show that they owned me still as present as ever. She continued to kiss down my cleavage and stomach as far as the neckline would let her. She looked me over, touching the fabric of my lingerie softly before she moved to lie between my legs, kissing and nibbling the insides of my thighs.

Natasha pulled away a little with a smile, tracing my facial features with her fingers. “Pretty girl.”

I returned the smile and let out a moan once Wanda moved the underwear part of my bodysuit to the side so she could get access to my pussy. Her tongue gave small kitten licks, avoiding my clit to tease me. I looked down at her, lacing my fingers into her hair as I moved my hips to try and get her where I needed her most.

Natasha pushed my hips down and kept them in place as she placed her forehead against the side of my head. “Lie still, detka.”

Wanda’s lips wrapped around my clit, finally giving me what I needed as she groaned against me. “Taste so good, baby.”

Natasha smiled while raising her eyebrows suggestively. “Yeah, she does?”

“Like heaven.” Wanda answered before resuming her licking, making me let out a surprised gasp.

Natasha held my face while kissing around my ear, biting my earlobe and slowly dragging it down with her teeth. I shivered and let my eyes flutter closed, gripping the sheets as Wanda sucked harder.

“I think she’s getting close, Wands.” Natasha said with a cocky smile.

“That fast, huh? Guess she’s been pretty deprived then.” Wanda returned the smile before suddenly pushing two fingers into me.

My breath hitched and I gripped the sheets harder. She moved her fingers, not pulling them out but instead curling them upwards. She licked my clit fast while looking up at my blissful face, my hips bucking only for Natasha to hold them down.

“Oh god~” I moaned and arched my back. “I’m cumming~”

Wanda kept sucking as my orgasm hit, feeling me clench around her fingers. I wasn’t given any time to recover from my high before Wanda pulled away and I was thrown onto my stomach as Natasha got behind me and pushed me up onto my hands and knees.

She pulled the fabric to the side before shoving her cock into me, only having pulled her underwear down a little. I gasped and my eyes widened in surprise, my pussy still pulsing from my previous orgasm.

“So tight and perfect, baby…” she said in a low tone.

Wanda moved in front of me, her clothes all gone with her cock hard in my face. She held my hair while nudging the head of her penis against my lips to open them up. She pushed into my mouth, moaning at the warmth that enveloped her.

“Fuck~” she whispered before slowly moving in and out.

Natasha kept fucking me, pushing me forward and as she thrusted into me I took more of Wanda into my mouth. They both moaned out loud while my noises came out as muffled sounds.

“So good, detka~” Natasha moaned. “Missed this so much~”

I swirled my tongue around Wanda’s cock, feeling her hit the back of my throat repeatedly. She wiped away some tears that had run down my cheeks before she gripped my hair harder, moving me up and down her penis.

“God, I love fucking your mouth.” She groaned. “You love it when I use your mouth to get myself off, don’t you?” She smirked down at me and I nodded the best I could. She patted my cheek lightly before speaking again. “Good girl.”

My pussy clenched around Natasha at her words, the praise and dirty talk making my stomach flutter. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum…” Natasha groaned and bit her lip. “Gonna fill this pussy up~”

“She’s not on birth control, Tasha.” Wanda breathed out.

I could hear Natasha panting as she fucked me faster. “Then I guess she’s just gonna have to get pregnant. Wanna see you get all round with our baby’s again, I fucking love it. God, plus the pregnancy boobs, the constantly being horny and needy for us, the way we get to take care of you all the time and you can’t tell us not to.” She moaned.

I could see on Wanda’s face that she was getting closer, her face scrunched up in pleasure as she listened to Natasha. “Fuck…cum in her, Tash~”

Natasha’s breath hitched as she finished inside of me, her movements coming to a complete stop. Wanda pulled out of my mouth and I gasped for air, letting out a cough before moaning as Natasha’s orgasm had triggered my own.

Wanda caressed my face gently, wiping away some more tears from under my eyes. “You did good, sweetheart.”

“You didn’t cum.” I said confusedly.

She gave a smirk. “Oh, you didn’t think we were done did you?”

My eyes widened a bit, Natasha pulling out of me before moving me so I laid on my side. She laid down behind me, pressing her chest against my back before holding my leg up. Wanda got down in front of me and took my leg from Nat and laid it on her hip. Both their cocks nudged against my hole before Natasha pushed inside first.

“Fuck, Nat~” I moaned out.

Her hand gripped my thigh hard. “What did you call me?”

I swallowed. “Daddy…”

“That’s right, baby.” She whispered into my ear.

Wanda grabbed her cock before moving it into me, my face scrunching up at the painful stretch. They stayed still for a few seconds before they began to move, both of them pulling out and pushing back in at the same pace. Natasha moved her hand up to my stomach, holding it there as Wanda circled her arms around my waist.

“You’re taking our cocks so well, princess.” Wanda praised.

“Always so good for us.” Natasha spoke into my hair.

“Fuck mommy…daddy…” I moaned quietly.

They picked up the pace, moving faster as we all knew we wouldn’t be able to last long. Natasha kept moaning into my neck, mumbling soft praises.

“Such a perfect little girl~” Wanda breathed out. “Our perfect little housewife~”

“We’re not gonna deprive you anymore, always gonna fill you with our cocks~” Natasha said before biting my neck lightly.

“I can’t last much longer~” I whined and held onto Wanda.

“Don’t hold back, princess.” She said before they quickened their movements, fucking into me desperately.

“Cum around us, baby, clench that little pussy so hard on our fucking cocks.” Natasha whispered into my ear. “Come on. Three…two…one.”

My orgasm hit me quickly, my pussy fluttering wildly as they thrusted into me. My eyes rolled back into my head and I moaned loudly while feeling my body tense up. They fucked into me a few more times before they let go and filled me up, their cum leaking out around their cocks.

They pulled out and we laid there on our backs for a few minutes, just trying to catch our breaths. Wanda rolled over onto her side and gently caressed my stomach while speaking. “I really hope you get pregnant.”

I nodded. “Me too.”

Natasha kissed my temple and held me. “One more baby would be just perfect.”

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wandanat #wandanat x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff fic #the scarlet witch #scarlet witch x reader #natasha romanoff fic #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow #black widow x reader #wanda maximoff smut #wanda smut #natasha smut #smut #natasha romanoff smut

[fanfics4all]

Dubcon

Request: Yes / No Kinktober day 6!

Requests are closed  <3 Have a nice day/night

Troy Otto x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 1037

Warnings: SMUT!

Y/N: Your Name 

Prompt(s): Dubcon

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(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

“I want you to do something for me.” Troy said with a smirk. 

“P-Please, whatever it is, please just-” 

“Quiet!” He said with an edge to his voice. 

“Take those off, now.” He ordered. 

“I… I can’t!” I said and he scoffed. 

“Yes you can. You’ll do it now, or else this photo will be sent to your Father. Do you understand?” He asked and my eyes widened. If my Dad see me dress in lingerie he’ll kill me! 

“You can’t!” I hissed. 

“I can. This is yours, isn’t it?” He asked and turned the phone to me. There I was dressed in a red lacey one piece, posing in my mirror. I don’t know how he got it, considering I never sent it to anyone. I didn’t even have that picture anymore! 

“I’ll ask you again. Take your jeans off.” He said. I tried my hardest to take slow breaths as I stared at him. He was serious and there was no way I’d be able to take the phone from him. I gulped and nodded. I slowly undid my zipper and he smirked slightly. 

“That’s right.” He said under his breath. He flipped the phone back around and took a step back. After pulling my jeans off, along with my shoes I stood up, glaring at him. 

“Good, now unbutton your shift.” He said. 

“P-Please…” I mumbled, a pit forming in my stomach. He simply waved his hand with a ‘get to it’ motion and I grit my teeth. I slowly undid each button one by one. My white bra now revealed to him. Troy took multiple pictures and I couldn’t do anything about it. 

“Good girl, very good girl.” He said and stopped taking pictures. 

“Please don’t send those…” I begged and he smirked again. 

“I won’t as long as you do everything I tell you to, got it?” He said as he pocked his phone. 

“L-Like what?” I asked. He just smirked and grabbed me. He was larger and stronger than me so I couldn’t escape. He forced my hands together and pulled a zip tie from his pocket. He tied my hands tightly together behind me. He pulled me over to the bed and pushed me onto my stomach. He ripped off my bra and and I gasped in shock. He buried his face into my ass, licking my tight virgin asshole. He forced the tip of his tongue inside and I suddered with excitement. 

I felt myself starting to get turned on, but I also felt ashamed. Troy was practically a stranger, yet he was making me feel so good. He spread my legs wider and pulled my hips closer to him. He started to flick his tongue against my now wet pussy. I moaned in pleasure, but they were muffled by the pillows. Without realizing, I started grinding onto his face. He abruptly stopped and flipped me onto my back. 

“You like this don’t you? You’re such a slut, Y/N.” He said with a smirk. 

“D-Do I need to be restrained?” I asked and his smirk grew. Troy reached into his pocket and pulled out a pocket knife. 

“Promise me you’re gonna be a good girl.” He said and I nodded. He gripped my face and held the night close to my face. 

“Use your words.” He growled. 

“Yes…” I whispered. He cut the ties from my wrists and pulled me off the bed. He pushed me onto my knees and I looked up at him. He grabbed his hard member through his jeans. I gulped and he smiled. 

“You wanna suck this cock?” He asked. I bit my lip and nodded slowly. Troy stepped closer to me, his stare unwavering. 

“Take it out.” He ordered. I reached up to undo his pants. I pushed them down to his tighes, along with his boxers. His cock sprung free and I gulped at the size. I looked up at him and he gave me a nod. I slowly opened my mouth and put his dick inside. He moaned and grabbed my hair. He pushed me down and made me gag as he was too big. 

“You can take it. Open your fucking throat.” He said. I tried my best to do as he said and open my throat. He pushed inside more and I managed to take him without gagging. 

“Oh fuck!” He groaned. He ripped me off him and pulled me up by my hair. He pushed me onto the bed so I was on all fours. He spread my ass open and spit right on my asshole. My eyes widened and I tried to crawl away, but he gripped me tighter. 

“Don’t fucking move.” He growled as he slammed his cock inside. I howled in pain as he relentlessly stretched my hole. He fucked my ass hard, not caring about how I was feeling. Once the pain let up there was pleasure flooding my veins. I could hardly form a sound as I whimpered in ecstasy. 

“You like getting fucked don’t you, you little cum slut.” He growled in my ear. 

“Y-Yes! I-I like it!” I moaned and he gripped me tighter. I reached down and started to rub my drenched clit. My eyes widened as I felt how wet I was. I’ve never been so wet in my life! Troy started thrusting deeper and harder. 

“Oh fuck! I’m gonna fill your tight little ass up! I fucking own you now.” He moaned. He pushed so deep inside me and I felt him filling me up. I moaned loudly and came as I felt his cum filling me. My legs were shaking as he pulled out of me and I collapsed on the bed. Troy walked off to the bathroom and came back a few moments later with a warm towel. He wiped me down and smacked my ass. 

“You better keep that cum inside you baby.” He said as he finished cleaning me. I just nodded and let my eyes flutter close. Troy crawled into the bed next to me and pulled me into his arms. 

“You’re mine now, Y/N… All mine…” He whispered and kissed my head. I was so tired and quickly fell asleep.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction

#fanfic #prompt #halloween #fear the walking dead smut #fear the walking dead imagine #fear the walking dead #troy x reader #troy otto #troy otto imagine #troy otto x reader #troy otto x fem!reader #dumcon #smut #kinktober #day 6 #kinktober day 6

[yourfatherlucifer]

New Paradigm (San)

Vampire!Choi San x afab!reader

>>Walking home sick from a friends house was a dumb idea, especially late at night. A creature of the night, a vampire, had been stalking you. His vulnerable, his weak and yummy prey. Oh, the perfect meal. It was too easy. Yet..someone else was watching, was it your savior? Or your doom?<<

Warnings: violence in the beginning

-

Yeah, this was such a stupid idea. I should’ve gone with her advice and taken a cab home. But you know, my dumbass had to be stubborn and say, ‘oh no it’s alright, I can manage the pain, it’s short walk home anyway.’

It’s freezing, it’s creepy, there’s no one on the streets it seems like. I could call a cab, if it wasn’t so late now. If only I called one 10 minutes ago while services were still running!

God, my stomach hurts so bad.

Slouching over on the sidewalk, holding my stomach in pain, “Fuck, what did I do to deserve this.” I groaned.

An empty can of soda was rolled in front of my feet. It’s bright orange color reflected from the dim streetlights

What a weird can.

A cats shriek from the alley across from me could be heard all around myself. Creepy. Whatever, I’ll just igno-

“Hello~”

A shriek of my own left my cold lips, cold from the frosty air.

“Oh my fuck!” A hand was held in front my heart, it wouldn’t do anything to stop it from leaping out of my chest, but that’s alright.

“Don’t do that!” I stared at the sudden individual. Where did he come from?

His hair was a dark brown, his eyes were a creepy dull red, must’ve been wearing contacts to scare people. What a freak.

“You’re a pretty little thing, aren’t ya? What are you doing out here all alone? Haven’t you been watching the news?” He trailed a very sharp fingernail down my jawline, to the middle of my throat.

I stepped back.

“Please stop. I just wanna go home!”

He pulled me closer to him, burying his face in my neck, “That’s too bad, my dear. You smell divine, a perfect, vulnerable meal just for me~!”

He cackled like a hyena in my ear.

I tried to pull away, I could feel his mouth slacking open.

Tears poured down my face, “Please! Stop! Somebody help me!”

His teeth pressed against my throat, but before he could do anything, he was pulled away from me. A growl left his throat, but before he could fight back, an arm broke through his chest, heart in hand.

I screamed in fear, but couldn’t bring myself to move.

The arm retracted, “You dare, on my turf, hunt humans? You dare defy the higher ones?”

A beautiful man, his shining black hair reflected in the light from the lamppost.

He bore teeth sharper than a K9’s.

His red eyes. He had red eyes too. Fangs..he’s a vampire. And so is the, well, now lifeless body.

I guarantee my fear could be smelled from a mile away or less. I was terrified. I mean it’s a vampire for fucks sake!

Finally able to move myself, I turned on my left foot to run, but then, couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Footsteps approached me from behind, “What? I don’t get a thank you, human?”

The voice wasn’t deep but wasn’t soft either. It was a sort husky-like voice. I felt no danger, but I just couldn’t move.

“I-I..” my voice betrayed me by trembling in shock.

“That’s okay. I was gonna kill him anyway. You don’t disrespect a higher one. What a pathetic excuse he was for a vampire.” He chuckled.

He moved in front of me, I could see his cat-like eyes, shaped like an almond.

“My name is Choi San, call me San. Obviously I am a vampire.” The man now known as San smiled, I could see the tips of his fangs.

“I’m Y/N..thank you for helping me.” I stared at the ground, too nervous to look at him. He was ethereal in my eyes. A man of beauty.

He nodded before stepping back from me, “Well, I must be going now, as good as you smell, I refuse to eat humans on my territory,” shoving his hands in his pockets, “Don’t come down this road so late anymore.”

“Okay, I won’t, thank you.”

“I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

As he walked into the night, I wondered if I really would ever see him again.

——————

NO PART TWO

Tag list: @starillusion13 @thishastwentyletters @babesindestroyland @san-realblkwife

#Choi San #vampire San #vampire ateez #vampire San x reader #San x reader #choi san x reader #ateez x reader #ateez

[specialagentlokitty]

Giles x teen!reader - the family you need

Part 4:

You walked home, and you didn’t everything you could think off to try calm down, you had a shower, your tried cooking, cleaning, taking a nap, listening to music.

It took a long while, but eventually you had your anger back under control, you had calmed yourself down, and you sighed, burying your head in your hands.

You skipped the rest of the week of school, ignoring your door and phone, focusing on killing demons instead.

As Monday rolled around you trudged your way to the library, hesitant as you reached for the door, but you took a deep breath and opened it.

“Mr Giles?” You called.

You stepped in and he came out of his office, setting some books in the side.

“Thank goodness you’re alright, you had us all terribly worried (Y/N), we tried to call you and they tried your apartment.”

“Yeah I know…”

You sighed a little, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your hoodie.

“Im sorry if I upset you, or if I pried too much, but what I heard was concerning.”

You shrugged a little, walking over to a chair and you sat down, kicking your feet up on the chair opposite you.

“I get it, you hear a kids got a bunch of scars, you wanna figure out what’s going on, I get that you know?”

Giles slowly walked over, sitting himself on the table, his back to you as he listened.

“I mean it makes sense, kid looks like they get beat every night, you have to do something about that, it’s your job to be worried. I overreacted and I’m sorry.”

He turned to look at you, shaking his head.

“It was no overreaction, it was extremely understanding, I pushed into something you most likely don’t want to remember. You were hurt, angry, and that’s okay, but I don’t worry about you because it’s my job (Y/N), yes it may be my job to look after you all, but I worry because I care. I care about you all, so after what I heard I wish to ensure that you are safe.”

You turned your gaze away from him.

“It’s in the past, you can’t change the past.”

“But it still hurts, does it not?”

“Yes, it does. The past is always going to hurt Mr Giles, but what’s happened has happened, we can’t change that, but we can learn from it. The past is what makes us who we are right?”

Giles nodded his head.

“Then what does that make you?”

“I don’t know yet, I haven’t figured that much out, but I’m still learning.”

He smiled softly at you.

“I see, but are you safe?”

“Yes, I’m safe.”

“There’s nobody in your apartment that is hurting you?”

You shook your head.

“No sir, I live alone.”

“Alone?”

“Like I said, things of the past.”

He sighed, nodding his head, and he looked at you.

“If you were in danger you come straight to me, do you understand?”

He got up, coming back with a slip of paper and he gave it to you.

“If you think you are in any danger, or you don’t feel safe, you either call here, or my home, or you come and find me, these are my numbers, and all the places you can find me if I’m not here. Any danger at all, I don’t care how small it may be.”

He took the paper, looking at it for a moment before you looked up at him.

“Am I making myself clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good, I will not have you going through anything of this sort again, especially not alone. You are not alone anymore.”

This made you smile a little bit, and you put the paper into your pocket.

“Thank you…”

“I truly am sorry for whatever had happened to you in the past, and if there does come a day you wish to talk about then I am all ears.”

You nodded your head and stood up, looking at him you smiled a little.

“Can you tell the others I’m sorry? I don’t really want to see them right now..”

“Of course I will.”

With that you left, going back home.

You pinned the paper he gave you to the fridge so you always knew where to find it.

Heading to your balcony, you stood overlooking the part of town that you could see.

You felt guilty that he didn’t know about you, he was so ready to help you, so ready to protect you, just like Colt.

But he didn’t know the truth, if they found out what you were would they be so worried about you? Would the kill you?

You had no idea.

Taking a small breath, you closed your eyes for a second and opened them again, and you saw the burst of demonic energy.

“Of course…”

Hoping over the balcony you landed on the street and began running, but you couldn’t see anything else from the ground, so you sought higher ground.

Jumping into a shop, you jumped on to the next tallest building and looked around.

You saw the flash of red again, and you ran towards it, knowing exactly where it was coming from.

Jumping down, you looked at the school seeing the door had been blown in and you slowly walked over.

Whispering the small chant, you drew your sword from your arm, putting it over your back.

You could smell the demonic energy, and hear the sounds of fighting.

Crouching, you looked down the corridor and you watched the demon throw Buffy into some lockers and stop.

“I know you’re here~” the demon taunted.

You stayed quiet, without drawing your sword the demon wouldn’t be able to fully sense you.

“Come on now my young leader, don’t play games with me.”

You crept back the way you came and down a different hallway.

You circled the demon, and when he turned his back to you, you grabbed Buffy, pulling her into the classroom, clamping a hand over her mouth.

“Is there anybody else here…?”

She nodded, and you moved your hand.

“Library…”

“Buffy you need to get them out of here…”

You heard a noise making the pair of you go quiet, and you looked at her, gesturing to the door.

“You can’t fight him…”

“I’ll be okay… please… get them out of here…”

“You can’t!”

“Go!”

You pushed her towards the door and you ran out the other, whistling loudly to catch the demons attention to distract him from buffy.

“Yeah, that’s right you bastard follow me!”

You spun around, leading the demon the other way and when you were sure you were in the clear you spun on your heel.

Raising your hand and you slammed it into the demons face, sending him through a wall.

“Ah, they warned me you would be strong.”

He grinned, standing up and in a flash he was in front of you, his fist connected with your stomach sending you flying through the walls outside.

Rolling on the grass, you grunted in pain and sat up.

Pushing yourself up, you whispered the chant again, putting your sword away.

You knew what he wanted, and you weren’t going to let him have it.

The demon walked outside, grinned from ear to ear, tilting his head a little.

“Oh they’ve made you their pet, how cute, I bet they don’t even know what you are.”

“Shut your mouth.”

Charged you swung from him, and he jumped on the roof so you followed him, throwing punch after punch that he easily dodged.

He grabbed your hoodie, throwing you in the air, and jumped up, slamming his leg into your chest sending your flying straight back through the roof so hard you put a small hole in the floor.

You coughed, blood flying from your mouth as you took a deep breath, and he smirked from on the roof above you.

“You’re weak, embrace it. Embrace what your father gave you.”

“Don’t you dare…”

The demon jumped down, grabbing you by the shirt he punched you over and over in the face.

“Do it!”

Buffy jumped on him, and he easily threw her off, looking around the library.

“Oh how cute, they can’t even see me, let’s change that.” He snarled.

“Don’t you dare…” you whispered.

He punched you again and got up, stalking towards them all.

He didn’t hurt them too badly, he simply scratch them all with a clawed finger, then he smirked at you.

“Now they can see me it’s going to be so much more fun to kill them..”

You slowly pushed yourself up, sneering lowly.

“Don’t… you dare…”

He paced around you in a circle.

“Maybe I’ll start with the slayer, never killed one before, should be fun. But either way you’ll watch me kill all of them.”

“Don’t touch them!”

You lunged forward, kicking him through the doors, breathing heavily.

Giles saw that spark in you that he saw the other day, he saw the small flash of blue in your eyes but it was gone.

The demon laughed manically.

“Oh your father is going to be so proud!”

The demon charger, standing in front of you.

“I’ll drag your body back me…”

He grabbed you, spinning around the threw you back outside and you rolled on the grass, blood flying from your mouth and the various cuts you had all over your body.

Pushing yourself up, you limped back over, and you whispered the chant again, drawing the sword from your arm.

Standing at the top of the stairs you looked at the demon who was stood there.

“That’s what I’m talking about… but they’ll find you~”

“Not if I stay in control they won’t…”

You took a shallow breath, slowly drawing your sword, blue flames lighting up your body, lighting the sword and you tossed the scabbard aside.

“You want to fight… then fight…”

He lunged and you were gone, roundhouse kicking him back to the floor, and you jumped, slamming your sword at him and he barely moved out the way.

He tried to punch you but you blocked it, and lunged again, his fists the only thing blocking your sword.

Giles rounded everybody up and pushed them into his office out of the way.

You were slammed into the ground, then thrown into some books.

No amount of hits could stop you, even when you could barely stand you kept fighting, standing between the demon and the office door.

“I won’t let you.. hurt them…”

“Try to stop me.” He sneered.

With a cry of pain, and anger, you swung your sword, blue flames branching out and he stared in horror.

“He will win! You will rule by your father’s side!”

“He is not… my father…” you spat.

The flames surrounded him, and he screamed as he was turned to ashes.

You took a few deep breaths, extinguishing the flames so nobody else got hurt in any way by them.

Breathing heavily you took a few shaky steps you dropped to your knees, coughing blood on the floor.

You pushed yourself up, limping to the scabbard, and you slumped again the wall, sheathing the sword.

Whispering the chant, you put it back and groaned in pain, trying to stand up but you couldn’t, no matter how hard you tried your body just wouldn’t let you.

The door to the office was opened and slowly they all came out.

They looked around the mess, and you groaned in pain, closing your eyes before opening them again.

“I.. I’m sorry… about the books…”

They snapped their gazes to you, and you gave weak smile, and rested your head back on the wall.

“What the hell are you?” Buffy whispered.

You said nothing, and Giles held his arm out as she went step forward.

You recognised that look, it was the look they all had then they find out.

“Do you not recognise the blue fire?” Xander whispered.

“No?” She whispered back.

Giles took his glasses off, cleaning them before he turned his attention back to you, putting them on, and he looked at you.

More so, he stared at you.

“The flames of satan himself. This is the demonic child of Satan, I heard rumours about this, but never did I think it was true.”

“I’m.. sorry…”

You groaned in pain, slowly pushing yourself up, stumbling a few steps into the stairs and fell over once again.

You couldn’t stand, you needed time to heal, but you couldn’t go anywhere until then, so you simply just kept getting up, falling over until you finally found a spot in the school away from them so you didn’t have to see the looks on their faces

#buffy the vampire slayer x reader #buffy the vampire slayer x you #buffy the vampire slayer imagine #buffy the vampire slayer #Rupert Giles #Rupert Giles x reader #Rupert Giles x you #Rupert Giles imagine

[no-gays-in-russia]

ESC 2023: my favourite lyric from every song

Albania: Krejt tuj pas, e krejt tuj pas, s’po muj mu knaq (Having everything, and having everything but not being happy) 

Armenia: I’m so hypnotised by someone that I’ve never ever met

Australia: If you’ve never done anything like this before, then you haven’t been alive

Austria: Edgar cannot pay rent for me

Azerbaijan: If I ever learn again to feel the way I did, I'll die from the emotions that I kept down for years

Belgium: Told me to love myself a bit harder than yesterday

Croatia: the most iconic of them all, Mama kupila traktora (Mum bought a tractor)

Cyprus: I loved you but you loved to do me wrong

Czechia: Blood’s on your God’s head

Denmark: I’m not scared to love you, but I’m scared of breaking my heart

Estonia: There is one more thing you need to know, that I forgive myself for all the lies I’ve said before

Finland: Enkä pelkääkään tätä maailmaa (I’m not scared of this world anymore)

France: C’est toujours trop beaux pour etre vrai, mais c’n’est jamais trop laid pour etre faux (It’s always too good to be true, but it’s never too ugly to be false)

Georgia: Words getting worthless, love is a wordless

Germany: What we are is but a choice

Greece: As a writer, but I’m not an actor, no, I don’t live my own life

Iceland: I’m releasing all of you in gratitude

Ireland: When we rise, we rise like the sun

Israel: History caught in a loop, don’t you wanna change it?

Italy: Siamo i soli svegli in tutto l’universo, e non conosco ancora bene il tuo deserto (We’re the only ones awake in the whole universe, and I still don’t know your desert well)

Latvia: You still think we live in a world so beautiful; you see, I think I don’t believe in this stuff anymore

Lithuania: Had to taste it and embrace it, all the bitterness of failure, to find myself within me

Malta: Might be the drinks or the social tease of anxiety

Moldova: M-am pierdut și e de vină (I lost myself and it’s your fault)

Netherlands: I don’t believe in God anymore, ‘cause where did He go?

Norway: Can’t stay the same, in this world of change

Poland: the iconic BEJBAH

Portugal:  Amor, p'ra mim, assim não dá, porque parece que nem sou mais eu (Love without plans is a no no, because I don’t feel like myself) 

Romania: The scent of mistakes just reminds you of me

San Marino: Bring the party, Aphrodite

Serbia: It is all a game to me, I don’t wanna choose my fighter, who’s taking control of me?

Slovenia: Igra sovraštva je za vas, hvala lepa, ne računajte na nas (The game of hatred is your thing, thank you, don’t count on us)

Spain: Mi nino, cuando me muera, que me entierren en la luna (My child, when I die, may they bury me on the moon)

Sweden: Violins playing and the angels crying

Switzerland: We ain’t playing now, can’t turn and run, no water guns

Ukraine: Sometimes you just gotta know when to stick your middle finger up in the air

United Kingdom: When you said you were leaving to work on your mental health, you didn’t mention the cheating, you kept that one to yourself

#eurovision #esc #eurovision song contest #eurovision 2023 #esc 2023 #eurovision song contest 2023 #eurovision uk #esc uk

[supernovaa-remnant]

I heard about this Shubble person recently, I stayed out of drama as much as I could but, what happened now??? You even wrote this in one of your tags "#I really did love him a lot (parasocially)". I was busy this week so I don't know what is happening now.

I highly recommend people watch Shubble’s vod on her twitch channel (I don’t have a link but I can’t imagine it’s that difficult to find). Be mindful though as the vod does talk about abuse which is a very triggering topic, so make sure to be taking care of yourself. I’m gonna put the rest of the post under the cut, so people can easily scroll past this if they want to.

As a little summary, Shubble streamed yesterday and talked about her abusive ex. She didn’t name anyone, but she also wasn’t hiding who it was, and contrary to what some people may say, a lot of the dots being connected are stuff we know from past streams and comments from friends and not leaked info.

So, the incredibly most likely case is that it was Wilbur. I’m not gonna get into everything Shelby said because she said it on her stream, but the signs do point to Wilbur, and you’d have to reach significantly further to claim she was talking about someone else. There’s not a lot of British male ccs who have a bigger audience than her who have a history of biting people and have reason to be going on long travels (tour) where they wouldn’t see each other often.

Listen. I was a certified dreambur blog, okay? Everyone who glanced in my direction knew that I was a Wilbur fan. Everyone knows that I loved him so fucking much. But that’s not an excuse to bury my head in the sand and ignore everything, y’know?

Anyway, this is gonna be the last time I talk abt this publicly (I’m sure my friends will hear more in DMs though sorry <3), so I’m gonna throw a bit more stuff here abt my blog going forward.

I will eventually talk abt c!wilbur again. I’m still gonna write my silly little c!dreambur aus, I’ve just put them on the back burner. regardless of cc actions, I genuinely do love so many of the characters on the dsmp. I’ll probably be focused on some other fics for a while, but c!wilbur’s my cat and I don’t think he’s leaving my brain soon. I just need a little time.

I think cc!wilbur is someone who needs help. and I genuinely do hope he gets that help. but having mental health struggles isn’t an excuse. and I just can’t see myself engaging in his content in the foreseeable future. you’re not gonna see me post neg about him. you’re just likely not gonna see me post anything about him at all.

I’m happy to know Shubble has an amazing support system. I’m so sorry she had to go through something so horrible. I’m wishing her nothing but the best, and everyone should check out her YouTube channel!! I haven’t watched her newest video yet, but I did watch Lizzie’s pov of the collab, so I know it’s a fun concept

If people have questions that this post doesn’t answer, then I’m happy to answer them in DMs, but I don’t wanna talk abt this publicly anymore. (I reserve a right to change my mind though if I for some reason feel the need to post abt it again)

Anyway, take care of yourselves. Love is never ever wasted, okay? And all that love belongs to you. And it’s always a good thing to put more love out into the world. Never feel guilty for loving, okay? 🫂

#tw abuse #stella answers #thenaiads

[serene-sun]

A rain x reader drabble for now, this would be x OC or self insert but it won’t get any views or likes so I used “you” instead of my own name. This is really just a vent/comfort thing I wrote for myself.

Warnings: there’s allot, 18+, no smut, alcohol, weed, ptsd attack. Past trauma, panic attack, mental breakdown, little comfort, angst?, very faint outline of sexual assault.

“Hey, don’t cry hun.” Rains voice is so soft and tender against the top of your head, his words soothing the aching pain growing from all of the weed and alcohol.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a bother.” You mumble through spilling tears.

“You’re certainly no bother, I know that as a fact.” He wraps his arms loosely around your upper waist.

Rain holds you so delicately, like a wilted flower with drooling petals. Rain already knows you’re about to break, the way you escorted yourself from the loud noisy building claiming you needed some air.

Half of it was right, the room was indeed filled with smoke and the smell of sweat and cigarettes. Everyone smelt like alcohol and cheap liquor.

The lights, the smoke, the sound of deep bass and distant moans was too much. The first few shots were to run off the evil thoughts crawling their way back up. But soon the taste of vodka being quickly swished back in your throat brought you back to a distasteful memory, one you had tried to bury, one fresh and still scared, a memory still red with pain and hurt.

Everything is fog, and all you can feel is the numbness swelling under your skin, and warmth spreading In your blood. All you feel is misery and embarrassment, you want to escape, you need to find somewhere far from this recalled nightmare before someone starts taking advantage.

You were sick of that.

You wobble your way out of a side door, the red exit sign not doing the aches any more pleasure. When the door closes, you’re immediately on your knees gagging at the pavement. It’s so dark, not even the light pollution wants to help you now. All that leave your system is a few droplets of saliva, and maybe a few more of the recent shot.

All you can think of is the faceless person that’s deep within your scattered mind. A simple drink and the simple feeling of dizziness. It’s all too horrible, especially now when you’re on your knees in an alley way of a foreign city.

Your knees get wet, the wet pavement bleeding through them and staining the black denim with mud, dirt, and cigarette ashes.

You grab your head, the noises of cars and the screaming insults filling your brain is breaking you down to a bitter substance that’s easy to be swept away in the cold wet night.

“You ok?” A soft and slender hand rubs your back, of course it’s rain.

Rain promised that he would stay with you the entire night, that he would make sure nobody would both you. Rain held your hand most of the night, he watched every person make your drink, bartender or not. He did a good job, until you ran off and disappeared.

You cower, you don’t wanna be seen like this, completely vulnerable and exposed. You can’t help but cry, that’s all you can really do. And as soon as that one tear hits the hard black ground, everything else follows. All the memories, feelings, sensations, words, thoughts, doubts, secrets, all the miscalls, all the messages back and forth between police, all the emotions, EVERYTHING spills onto the pavement.

All rain can do is watch.

“I’m sorry.” You choke on your own breath

“Dear you have nothing to be sorry for.” His voice is appalling, it’s reaching out and making it harder to breathe.

That’s when he carefully guided you back to the hotel room, pampering you and washing off your makeup.

“I don’t wanna be anything anymore” you sobbed into his hand that wrapped around you.

Rain pulls the blankets up to your chin, he’s not sure what you need but you’re feeling no different so there’s nothing anyone can do but simmer in the moment.

“What?” Rain is getting concerned, he just wanted to make sure you were ok.

“I’m exhausted of being responsible.” You stain the blankets a darker color with your tears.

“I- I think i understand. I know what you mean, I’m so sorry.” He brings your frog pillow that’s at the foot of the bed to your arms, letting you immediately latch onto it.

You’re silent.

“You didn’t deser-“ rains cut off by you, “please don’t say it, that’s all anyone ever says, that’s all I ever hear, that’s all I know.”

“I’m tired of everyone being sorry”

#serene sun nocontext #the band ghost #ghost band #serene sun writes #the band ghost x reader #nameless ghouls x reader #nameless ghouls #ghost band fic #rain ghoul #rain ghoul x reader

[lousieee]

✩ — Realize.

synopsis — Ever since you were buried, Mark would go talk to your tombstone every day, till it dies down to your birthday, anniversaries, and holidays.

notes — this is a pt 2 of the first fanfic I made (that I actually posted…) but, hoping you’d enjoy this monstrosity of a comforting but a little angsty fanfic:)

part 1 — https://www.tumblr.com/lousieee/737588964323721216/christmas-without-you?source=share

word count — 870

“I’m sorry love, I really tried.”

“I wanted to be better for you, I’m even sorry I had this illness, [ Name ], I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that, I didn’t want to visit the funeral. I didn’t want to hurt your family as bad as I hurt you. It has been a few weeks since I haven’t seen you, and dear, I had a few episodes so I decided not to go outside ever since then because I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I’d kill once again to have you here, taking care of me, loving me like you used to. Anyways love, I’m a few weeks clean from smoking! Can you believe that? Cool right? You couldn’t believe it right? Back then, you used to nag me about smoking, not knowing it really changed the way I acted. I'm sorry for how I acted back then when you tried to stop me, I was too addicted to it. It hurted you more than it hurted me. I really wish that we could talk and I’d tell you all the other thoughts that I had after I had hurt you. Like, when I slapped you really hard because you were worried that I’d be hurt if I went outside, alone to smoke. You were in tears, but I never liked seeing you cry.”

“Hey again love, I made another milestone today, I’m one year clean, woohoo.. But that’s also almost one year without you. I miss you. Alot. I’m sorry I haven't been visiting you lately, I’m rarely available for anything since I have found a job. I'm working as a corporate slave, even if it doesn’t pay as much as I used to earn. Anyways, how are you up there? Does heaven treat you better than the way I did? Are you doing alright? I really wanna know how you’re doing.. Please come back. I wanna see you again. I don’t wanna talk to a tombstone anymore, please come back to me… But, my illness has gotten better, and there is a  possibility for my illness to heal. Y’know I should have listened to ya, I drink my meds often now just like how you used to tell me to drink it yet, my stubborn self declines it..  I hope you’re proud of me. I love you, happy birthday.”

u“Hi again, lovey. Happy anniversary to us! Can’t bear not seeing you for another day again, well love… I got promoted to a higher position in the company I work for. I now earn 6 digits in dollars and my illness is getting better day by day and yet, I still ean’t forget you. Come back to me love. My door’s always open, I miss you. I’m currently having trouble sleeping, if only you could sing me a lullaby, I’d sleep like a baby… Haha… If only I could find a way for you to be with me, I’d immediately do so, I’d do all I can just to be with you and feel your touch. I want to lay down in bed with you as we stare into the night sky, whispering sweet nothings into our ears as we both fall asleep in each other’s touch. As your eyes, so mesmerizing fall into mine, touch that’s ever so smoothing, makes me wonder… Why I ever did that to you. Why did I ever say those things if I knew it hurt you, mad intentions, I’ve always thought that, what if I never hurt you? What would we be if I never said or did these things. [ Name ], it wasn’t you, baby it was me. Our relationship wasn’t as good as I expected and interpreted it to be, it’s all my fault. I know you just wanted something to be sought, because lovey, just come back… I want to see you again. I’d even kill myself just to be with you.” 

“Merry Christmas in heaven, lovey. How are you up there? It’s officially your first death anniversary, yay, but not really. I don’t feel like ranting about anything today love, I feel uneasy all of the time. I couldn’t understand why I get this feeling, but I feel less productive doing anything and it’s affecting me. I feel as if I need more help, the medications feel like nothing.. Love, please come back, you know I miss you so bad… I love you so much.. I’ll be there soon, I just know.” 

He was never healthy. You always knew.

He loved you, you always knew. 

He forced himself to stay strong for you, but you… Didn’t know. 

— January 1, 12:15 am 

He comitted suicide, having high hopes that you will be together.

Though he did it with hope, he was never certain... Would you two still be together in the afterlife..?

#mark twain bsd #mark twain x gn reader #bsd mark twain #bungo stray dogs #bsd x reader

[sorryiwasasleep]

Personal rant

I started my final year of schooling last week and I’ve already missed 9 out of 11 classes so far. I’m burning up all my unexcused absences and I can’t even bring myself to care at all because I don’t want to be in this program getting this degree and I feel incredibly trapped and overwhelmed. I can’t make myself do the readings. I can’t make myself go to class. I can’t make myself care. I can’t seem to do anything at all but lay in bed. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this for another year. Fuck, I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this even just next week when I no longer can miss class without an excusal. And I can’t drop out anymore cause the deadline for full reimbursement passed, but also that was never a real option for me anyway cause dropping out would also likely mean moving home and that’s just as bad for my brain. Even right now I should be doing my readings for my class that’s at 3:30, but instead I’m typing this. Because I’m sad and I don’t care. But because I didn’t do the readings? I feel like I can’t go to class, so I WON’T which in turn is a problem cause I am using all my skips and I’m missing the first two weeks of class so I’m going to go in SO fucking confused next week probably. Shit shit shit shit fuck.

TW: weight discussion, emetophobia, eating disorder mention (just by name nothing specific), ARFID, depression, anxiety, apathy, mention of American politics

Heavier discussion below

I recently realized (i don’t have a scale in my apt) that I lost about 40 pounds in the span of about 5 months all from a combination of stress/my ADHD medication suppressing my appetite (vyvanse bitch ass doesn’t even work) and stress induced vomited and also vomiting because I treat my body like shit (don’t drink water, cope with unhealthy substances a lil too often, don’t eat anything remotely healthy, barely eat at all anymore if I’m being honest). I knew I’d lost some cause clothes were looser. I thought it was like 10. But no I know how much I weighed in March and it was a full difference of 40 and I know part of this stress and the stress induced vomiting are being caused by school and it’s like… I have another year. Am I just gonna keep wasting away? Something’s gotta give here and I know shit has to change but I have absolutely no drive to actually climb out of the hole I’ve buried myself in. I feel like there’s no point and that even if I crawl out, the world is the same and my family is the same and I’m still in this program and so nothing is actually different anyway. I just wanna let the dirt consume me. I wanna lay in my bed with a sitcom playing mindlessly in the background while I work on my silly little fanfictions until everything just stops except I lay in bed and don’t even do those things but am paralyzed by all the things I should be doing instead that I neglected because I didn’t care and I still don’t care enough to do it, but I feel bad enough to not do anything else either in that time. And I know that’s BAD and that having no motivation for anything is obviously super a ‘ur depression is worse girl’ (hi yea i fucking live inside this stupid head so I already fucking know that. @/my psych and parents). but I keep getting cancelled on or stood up by therapists and my psych has told me three appointments now shit like ‘Well what do you want me to do about?’ (Without even fucking considering something like uhhhhh… idk changing the meds I’m on? Since I’m at the max dose for my anti depressant and I’ve been on it for about half a year and I feel it stagnated because while it seemed to help when I started, now I’m worse? Like, I tell you I feel the worst I’ve ever felt in my entire life and you answer ‘And what do you want me to do?’ YOUR FUCKING JOB? Provide me with my options???? Not be a dick?) And she keeps saying I have to find a therapist because the meds only do so much (I had one but she went on maternity leave in January and then when she came back from it I was too broke to pay every week (which is what my bitch ass brain needs) and then when I wasn’t broke any longer she had ghosted me and she also was my provider for two years and never actually gave me any coping mechanisms so I kinda wanted a new one anyway). The psych did not like when I laughed at her and said “And will you fucking pay for it?” in response the first time she said it even though obviously I know she’s right.

My roommate told me the other day also that I need to get a therapist and that I have to focus my energy into that because she can’t listen to me say the same complaints anymore (she said it nicely, but like I’m crying rn thinking about it and will likely never feel safe to share with her anymore for worry of annoying her.) She also said she doesn’t think I want to help myself. That she wants me to get better and obviously it’s shit what’s happening but that I’m not doing the (what are to her obvious and to me impossible to actually do because of familial enmeshment and financial dependence) things that could maybe make things better. Even though… I AM trying to help myself. Yea it’s not the best I can be doing, but it’s as much as I can fucking manage given my surety that none of this matters and isn’t that worth something? I’ve been looking for a therapist since MAY. They keep standing me up or cancelling or they’re booked or they don’t take my insurance. I had five (5) telehealths where I got stood up. Starting therapy anew is already terrifying but when the person doesn’t show up it just feels like shit. It made me feel like they looked at my paperwork and decided I wasn’t fucked up enough when the reality is yea I held back slightly but that’s because I needed to know the vibes of the place first. That’s not what happened (for at least three appts anyway. The other two ghosted me also after so I never got explanation so maybe it did) but I still felt that way and for someone who already has a lot of problems with imposter syndrome and deep insecurities around being forgotten it really sucked and was incredibly unprofessional of any worker but especially mental health care professionals to do. I have one on Friday. Let’s hope this one doesn’t stand me up 🤞 Also, back to my ungodly amount of rapid weight loss, I did have 40 pounds that could’ve been shed and I am still not what would be consider ‘skinny’ but an average weight, so the worst part of this whole thing is that people are telling me i look GOOD now. Literally it was my MOM. She always implied I’m overweight and need to lose it and pretends like it’s ‘in your best interest honey’ meanwhile I can’t even do the fucking obligations I’m tied to? You think I can fucking do EXTRA? And yea I should use that kickboxing class that I bought, but not to lose weight mother, but because I’m not physically fit in that I cannot go up stairs without getting winded and because I have all the rage in the world (a portion of which goes to her!) and hitting things makes me feel better and it expires soon and was $40 I won’t get back. None of those reasons have to do with my weight, but if I mention I went to that class to her? She’s going to be SO excited on the phone, for all the wrong reasons thinking it’s me trying to get thin, when it’s me trying to get healthy. That is not equivalent to weight loss necessarily, as clearly evidenced here since I lost a shit ton unhealthily. This weekend I got a ‘Do you lose weight? Cause you look great!’ from her. 🫠🙄And i know that people would even more so do that if I do continue on this path of wasting away even though I’m actually unhealthier than I’ve ever been with my eating habits and the weight loss is a result of my depression and anxiety spiraling worse. How about we as a society stop fucking commenting on other peoples weight period full stop. Also it’s SAYING something that I’m the worst ever rn because food and I have always had a weird vibe. I recently learned what ARFID is and I’m fairly confident I’ve had that my entire life and just never had the name for it so that’s certainly something. Anyway idek what the point of this was other than for me to shout into the void because I was sad. If the void wants to shout back and tell me how I’m supposed to function in this life that’d be great cause I didn’t even HIT the state of the world and how that causes half my lack of motivation for anything in this post, but god the American political and legal landscape fill me dread and anxiety and anger and I can never escape them.

TLDR: I’m sad, I can’t bring myself to go to class at all in these first two weeks of classes. I need a therapist but they keep cancelling when I finally get an appointment and find one that accepts my insurance. My psych is kinda bad and my roommate was trying to help but did it in a way that hurt me more. I wanna drop out but can’t and also school is impacting my mental health so severely that I lost an extreme amount of weight in a short amount of time. Got complimented by mom even though I’m literally unhealthy. Separate from that but intertwined, I might have ARFID, possibly for my whole life and I am genuinely SHOCKED it never once was suggested by a medical professional to my parents when I was a child.

#personal rant #depression #anxiety #adult adhd #law student #law school #I’m a 3L and I just feel like I’m rapidly speeding at a brick wall #and my foot is pedal to the metal unfortunately but I can’t even care enough to move it #the brain worms are winning #the brain rot is consuming me #everyday is everyday is everyday is everyday #and i am so fucking sick and tired of everyday #everyone tells me ‘one day at a time!’ so then I do that but then the next day comes and I didn’t do my shit that needed to be done for it #cause i was focusing on the day before the day before #so then I’m fucked and constantly stressed and panicked #weight #weight loss #Ed #tw Ed #tw eating disorder #tw eating issues #tw arfid #arfid #eating issues #disordered eating cw #tw weight loss #tw weight #emetophobia #tw emetophobia #tw vomiting

[courtneygacha]

Sudden

Tw: Sudden anxiety attack, crying

“When did everything go wrong? They were fine just a second ago?” Teammate One asked after Friend came back from the bathroom, announcing that Whumpee was ‘not mentally doing okay’.

Teammate One had a point. Everyone was holding a nice conversation, they were all playing a game, then out of nowhere Whumpee just froze. They started to shake and tear up. They excused themselves to the bathroom and Friend followed them moments after.

“What’s wrong with them? Did they say anything?” Caretaker asked, concerned for Whumpee’s well-being.

“I couldn’t get them to talk…” Friend said, and resumed crossing their legs.

Caretaker played with their thumbs. The room got so quiet if you listened closely you could hear Whumpee sniffling from behind the door. Caretaker hated that sound. It meant that something was bothering them. Something was wrong. Something was making Whumpee sad. And Caretaker hated seeing Whumpee sad.

They stood up from their seat. “Where are you going?” Teammate One asked.

“I’m going to check on them… I want to make sure they’re okay.” Caretaker said.

“They might need a moment by themselves, Caretaker.” Friend said.

“Then I’ll leave the room. But until they ask me that, I’m going to sit with them.” Caretaker went down the hallway and gently knocked on the door, their voice only loud enough for Whumpee to hear them.

“Whumpee dear, can I come in?” They called.

Caretaker heard the sniffles stop for a second. They heard the shuffling of Whumpee’s socks along the tiled floor. The door cracked open and Caretaker could see Whumpee’s red, tearful eyes in the light.

“Honey, are you okay?” Caretaker asked softly, opening the door a little more so they could see more of Whumpee. They tried to speak but no words came out of their mouth, only tears rolled down their face. So they shook their head ‘no’.

“Can I come sit with you?” Caretaker said, and Whumpee nodded.

Caretaker stepped into the bathroom and slowly closed the door behind them. Whumpee sat up against the counter, with their head buried in their knees. Caretaker sat next to them.

Things were quiet for a bit, as Whumpee continued to cry softly into the silence, Caretaker only helping by placing a hand on Whumpee’s back and gently rubbing it while they sobbed.

Finally, Whumpee lifted their head up for a second and muttered, “I’m sorry…”

Caretaker raised their eyes from the floor. “What was that, honey?”

“I’m sorry…” Whumpee repeated, their voice quivering.

Caretaker pulled Whumpee closer to them, almost in a hug. “What are you sorry about, Whumpee?”

Whumpee swallowed and sputtered, “We, we were having so much f-fun and then I had t-to go and ruin i-it…” They let out another choked sob.

“Don’t be sorry, dear. Do you wanna talk about what caused this?” Caretaker asked.

“I-I don’t even know anymore… I just felt this pang of fear and panic and before I knew it I was crying but I didn’t want to embarrass myself so I came here and…” Whumpee gasped as they spoke all of that with one breath. They cried some more and Caretaker held them closer.

“Whumpee honey, listen to me, I don’t want you to feel sorry about having anxiety attacks. This is a normal thing that happens.” Caretaker said, “No one here is going to shame you for having anxiety. I will sit with you for all of them so don’t feel bad about this, okay honey?”

Whumpee nodded and whispered, “O-Okay…”

Caretaker held Whumpee in silence for a few moments, before a knock came on the door.

“Hey, are you guys okay?” Teammate One said.

“No, leave them alone! You’re gonna disturb them having their dramatic main character moment!” Friend called out from the front room. Whumpee laughed through their tears for a second. Caretaker smiled. Knowing Friend, they probably planned that with Teammate One.

“We’ll go out when you’re ready honey, okay?”

“Okay…” Whumpee said.

#whump #whump writing #whumpblr #tw anxiety #tw anxiety attack #fluff?

[determinedwriter]

No. 17: Touch Aversion/“Leave me alone.”

Tony

Something is wrong.

Ro won’t talk to me. I haven’t seen her look me in the eyes once in weeks. She’s completely different. Even her body language is completely closed off and timid in a way I’ve never seen from her.

“Hey, Pep?” I ask my long-time girlfriend.

She grins softly. “Hey, Tony.”

I sigh. “Have you noticed anything weird with Ro lately?”

She looks at me in worry. “I thought I might’ve been seeing things…but yeah. Peter even voiced that to me when he was here the other day. She won’t look at him. She’s scared. And Tony, I…”

My heart pounds. “What is it?”

“I was…a lot like that in my senior year of high school…after I was…” Pepper clears her throat. “After I was assaulted at a party. It took me a long time to feel safe again after that. I’m scared she…might’ve experienced that.”

Shivers go down my spine. “It can’t be that. Pep, I had no idea you were…”

I hug her, burying my face in her hair. “I love you.”

She kisses me. “I love you too. Maybe you should go talk to her. She needs her dad. I can try to help, but…she’s always been closest to you. I think you’ll be able to help the most.”

I nod. “Okay. God, I…hope it isn’t that.”

Pepper wraps her arms around me. “Me too.”

I walk to my daughter’s room and knock on the door. “Hey, Ro?”

She stays quiet even though I know she’s in there. “Ro? You alright?”

“I’m fine.” Ro sounds so meek and…broken. “D-Do you need something?”

“Can I come in?” I ask. “I just want to talk to you.”

Ro pauses. “One minute.”

I hear some shuffling around before she speaks again. “Okay, come in.”

I open the door. “Hey, I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

She sighs. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Can I sit?” I question.

She hesitates, flinching when I step closer. It startles me a little. “Hey, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

Her lip quivers. “I’m fine. It’s nothing. It’s…it’s fine.”

I know she’s lying, but I’m not sure how far I should push. “Ro, you can talk to me. You can-”

I lean closer to her and she quickly scrambles backwards. “No, no, please!”

Ro shuts her eyes, back pressed against her headboard. “No, no, no, no…don’t touch me anymore.”

I don’t think she’s even trying to talk to me at this point. Regardless of wanting to hug and comfort her, I keep my hands off. “Ro. Ro, hey. Listen to me, you’re okay. You’re alright. Let me in, kiddo.”

Knees to her chest, she keeps her head down with her arms around her legs to hug herself. She’s whimpering in fear. Fear of me. “Dad…Dad…Daddy.”

My heart aches. “Ro, it’s okay. It’s me. You’re safe here.”

She slowly lifts her head. “Dad, I’m scared. P-Please back up.”

I do as she says, backing up a little. “Okay. You’ve got it.”

Ro keeps her eyes on me as if she’s afraid I’ll do something if she looks away. “Don’t go.”

She’s giving some confusing mixed messages, but I do what she says. “I won’t. I’ll do whatever you need me to.”

Her hands tremble and she sniffles. “There’s something I have to…to t-tell you.”

God, no. Please don’t tell me this is what Pepper said it is. It can’t be true. Not that. Anything but that. “O-Okay. What is it, Ro?”

Ro only shakes harder as she tries to speak. “I’m sorry. I’m s-so…so sorry. Dad, I didn’t wanna…I…”

I try to keep a straight face. “It’s alright, kid. Take your time.”

She nods very slowly. “Okay…Dad, I…I went…I went to a p-party. I snuck out. And I’m sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. P-Please…”

Normally, I’d be upset with her for sneaking out. But I can’t bring myself to get angry with my shaking, sobbing, begging daughter. “Oh, baby…baby, I’m so sorry. I love you. It’s okay. I’m not mad. What happened?”

Ro finally looks me in the eyes. “I was raped.”

I want to throw up. I feel the bile rising in my throat but force myself to keep my composure. “Oh God, Ro…Ro…”

I open my arms wide. “Can I hug you?”

She nods and I take her into my arms. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you. You’re safe. I’ll keep you safe now, mini…I love you so much. I promise you’re safe. Do…do you know who hurt you?”

Ro shakes her head and sobs in my arms. “No, Daddy…I don’t know. I don’t know…I never wanted this to happen. Y-You believe me, right?”

“Oh, oh, oh….of course. Of course, baby…I’ll always believe you. Tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it. I’ll kill that fucker…I’ll kill him…I’ll do anything.”

Still trembling, Ro clings to my shirt and soaks it in tears. “N-No…No, I don’t know who it was. He’ll hurt me again…what if he approaches me at school? I just know he was a senior or something…but I don’t know his name and I didn’t recognize him. Dad, I don’t know what to do!”

“When did this happen?” I ask.

“About a month ago…” She admits.

I exhale shakily. “God, baby…why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Holding her close, I rock her back and forth as she cries. “I was scared. I didn’t know what to say. I’m so sorry…I just didn’t want you to be disappointed…”

I struggle greatly not to cry with her. “I’ll never, ever be disappointed in you. I’ll never let you suffer alone. I promise. Ro, I promise. I will always keep you safe. Please…please never hesitate to tell me when you’re hurting.”

She nods. “Okay…”

Continuing to comfort her, I stay right by her side until she’s out of tears to cry. “I’m so tired, Dad.”

“I know.” I coo. “It’s okay. Get some rest. I’ll stay as long as you need me to. I’ll keep you safe.”

But I can’t keep her safe from the nightmares.

No matter what I do, I can’t turn back time and change what’s already happened. All I can do is try to protect her now.

But I will never stop blaming myself for what she has suffered through. I’m her father. I’m supposed to protect her.

And I failed.

I failed, I failed, I failed.

#whumptober2023 #whumptober 2023 #no.17 #touch aversion #leave me alone #iron man #avengers #the avengers #mcu #fic #sa tw #assault tw #trauma tw #traumatic event tw #rape mention tw #fanfiction #fanfic #whump #whump writing #tony stark #aurora stark #marvel #ro stark #tony stark’s daughter #tony stark’s daughter oc

[nebulousboundsofgoodtaste]

The Witcher - Lambert & Ciri, POV Ciri

CW: none, Ciri gets a hug

Also on ao3 here.

---

Ciri stared into the flames in the fireplace and did her best not to cry. It was getting really hard. She didn’t even know why, and it was driving her up the wall, adding frustration to the sadness and it just. It just made it worse.

She blinked hard to stop the tears, but one slipped out anyway, and she wiped at it angrily. She had no reason to be sad, so why couldn’t she just stop?

The door opened behind her, and she curled into herself. Maybe whoever it was wouldn’t notice her? They’d just worry, and there wasn’t anything wrong so they really shouldn’t need to. She was just sad.

“You alright?” Lambert’s gruff voice came from the doorway.

Ciri sighed and wiped at her eyes again before turning reluctantly.

“I’m fine.” She wasn’t. But what was the point in saying that when there was nothing causing it?

Lambert scowled. “Smells like a fucking lie. What’s wrong?”

Ciri scowled and felt her mouth curl into a snarl. “Why the fuck do even care?!” Okay, now she was angry, why the hell was she angry?

Lambert didn’t even blink, and Ciri’s anger evaporated in a second, leaving only a bone-deep sadness in its place.

“Okay, now you smell fucking miserable,” Lambert stated, stepping inside and closing the door behind himself. “What’s wrong?”

Ciri shrugged and looked away. Nothing was wrong. Everything was wrong. Everything was fine. Nothing was fine. The whole world was a jumbled mess of emotions, and she was drowning in them.

A finger poked her shoulder.

“Want a hug?”

Ciri looked up, and Lambert’s concerned face was the last straw. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she sniffled. “Please,” she croaked out, and in a moment Lambert’s arms enveloped her.

She buried her face in his chest like she used to when she was small, and he rubbed his cheek on her head like he used to and held her tight and rocked her gently as her tears flowed.

Eventually they slowed down, and with one last sniffle she raised her head.

“I ruined your shirt.” It was a mess, tears and snot making a disgusting mess.

“Eh,” Lambert shrugged, “I do that myself often enough. Usually stray ingredients.”

“Sorry.”

“Did I stutter? It’s fine.” Lambert’s voice was gruff, but he was looking at her with so much kindness she almost couldn’t take it.

“Okay,” she whispered and nodded.

For a moment, they just sat there, Lambert’s arms still a warm comfort around her.

“You better?” Lambert asked.

Ciri nodded, and Lambert grunted.

“Good. I’m gonna change my shirt and I’ll be back. You can sleep on me tonight if you want to.”

Ciri giggled. “I haven’t done that in ages!”

“No,” Lambert shrugged. “But you can. If you wanna.”

Ciri swallowed “I don’t know if I do. I don’t know anything today.”

“That’s okay, too,” Lambert shrugged again. “Sometimes we gotta play by the ear. You gonna be okay for a minute or two?”

“Yeah,” Ciri nodded. “Go. I’ll be here.”

Lambert nodded, and then with a glance around the empty room pressed a quick kiss to her head.

Ciri stared back at the flames in the empty room. They still danced, but somehow, they didn’t feel so lonely anymore.

In a couple of minutes, the door opened again, and Lambert entered the room, now in a clean shirt. He settled next to her in front of the fire and opened his arms.

“Cuddle?”

“Please,” Ciri whispered.

And then Lambert’s arms curled around her once more, and the flames danced in pairs. They could just stay here as long as she wanted, she knew. Maybe not such a bad thing that Lambert found her.

#the witcher #lambert #ciri #hurt/comfort #my writing