#I completely thought that she was covering for something with that random anniversary story though | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thdorkmagnet · 4 years

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Moments in a New World

Hey everyone!! Happy one year anniversary of the “Cleaved” finale and belated Starco day!!! Can't believe it's already been a year! It's still so fresh in my mind it might as well have been yesterday. Star vs has been a huge part of my life for five years now and I hope it continues to be well into the future and that others continue to like and enjoy this series and the fans who help keep it alive and kicking!!

Anyways, I have a little something here for the occasion that I hope and think you'll like. Just a sappy, fluffy Starco story about their lives after the finale. You know the drill. So now I'll leave you to it!! Please enjoy!!

Disclaimer: Star vs and all its characters belong to Daron Nefcy and Disney. All rights go to them.

More post-Earthni fics: Marco's Birthday Blowup Blast, Starco Wedding

One Minute After Cleaving

Star and Marco stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, standing mere inches apart as their eyes gleamed with love and unparalleled joy as they were reunited once more. The world only consisted of the two of them, the sounds of chaos drowned out in the background, their new collided world an afterthought for the young couple, all that mattered was that they were together again, face to face, able to get lost in each other's shimmering eyes. The two had been completely silent save for a simple greeting, both teens too chocked up to produce any word more than “Hey” or “Hi”.

But finally it was as if the spell was broken, Marco inexplicably flinging his arms around the girl, bringing her into a tight hug that he never wanted to end, burying his head into her shoulder as his body shook with relief.

“Marco,” Star whispered out, surprised by the boy's sudden action.

“I thought I-” the hooded teen began, his voice choked and tight, like he was fighting back tears with every word, his grip on Star's small frame tightening. “I thought you were- you were-” Marco let out a shaky breath, unable to even finish the horrifying sentence.

“Shhh,” Star soothed, rubbing her arms up and down his back as tears gently dripped from her blue orbs. “It's okay. I'm here, I've got you and I'm never letting you go again.”

Marco let out what sounded like a cross between a chuckle and a sob as tears now ran down his own cheeks, dripping onto his girlfriend's shoulder, though neither of them cared. “Please don't ever scare me like that again.”

Star giggled before sniffing, finally pulling away as she rubbed tears out of her eyes with the back of her hand. “I won't. Trust me that was probably the most afraid I've ever been in my life!”

“More afraid than that time you got stuck inside of Toffee?” Marco asked, a smile on his face despite the red swelling in his eyes and the tearstains on his cheeks.

Star nodded. “Definitely... but it's a close second.”

The two shared a laugh together, letting all the anxiety and worry that had been plaguing them melt off until only their love remained. Finally, Marco paused, staring thoughtfully at the ground, before meeting his girlfriend's eye again, whispering under his breath, “I love you.”

Star smiled softly at her Marco, repeating in a chocked tone, “I love you, too.”

Then, without warning, Marco moved in for a kiss, catching Star's lips between his own as he poured every inch of his heart and self into the simple affectionate act. Star smiled against him, before closing her eyes and letting it deepen, a spark rising up in her as she cherished this precious moment with the love of her life and Marco happily doing the same. While all around them, the two worlds of Earth and Mewni collided into a beautiful chaos, as the first day of a new world began.

One Day After Cleaving

Star and Marco sat side by side on the couch in the Diaz's living room, as they stared blankly at the TV, watching as the news crew filmed random situations happening all over Earthni: an apartment complex covered in webs from a giant spider, warnicorns and piggoats blocking traffic on busy crossroads, giant Monster footprints crushing poor Principal Skeeves's car. And there were many, many more of these images, all accompanied by the confused ramblings of a startled news crew, struggled to make sense of it all, stuttering out halfhearted explanations and theories. Eventually, Eclipsa appeared on the screen, providing an explanation for this bizarre new world that had been formed, speaking clearly and calmly into the microphone being offered her by a wide-eyed news anchor, who kept casting weary glances at Globgore, who stood at his wife's side.

Star bit her lip, letting out a low groan as she slumped over some on the couch. Marco looked over to his girlfriend with a puzzled look, before spotting the worry etched into her features and asked, “Hey, you want me to turn this off?”

“What's the point?” Star mumbled out, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Marco, sensing how serious this all was picked up the remote and turned off the TV before directing his full attention onto his girlfriend. “Star, c'mon talk to me, what's wrong?”

Star sighed, before giving her boyfriend a lost look, saying brokenheartedly, “I don't know, it just feels like we made things worse instead of better.”

“Do you... regret what we did?” Marco asked nervously, not quite sure if he could stand knowing the answer.

Star shook her head. “No. I'm glad we did what we did,” the blond stated no hesitation in her tone as she gave her boyfriend a small smile. But it quickly turned to a sad frown as she added, “I guess I just thought destroying the magic would fix everything. But things are just as crazy now as they were before, maybe even crazier! How are we gonna fix this?”

Marco put a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder, giving it a small squeeze as he smiled reassuringly down at her. “We'll figure it out, we always do.”

“Uh, did you not see the news report, Marco,” Star asked sarcastically. “Everyone is freaking out!”

Marco laughed, before saying, “Well yeah, it's only been a day, Star, of course they're freaking out. They just need time to adjust is all.” The boy put an arm around his girlfriend's waist, causing both of them to blush a deep red. But the boy added in a confident tone, “They'll come around once they get used to all this, trust me.”

Star raised a skeptical eyebrow at her boyfriend, before asking, “How can you be so sure?”

Marco shrugged, fixing his girlfriend with a loving stare as he said, “Well see, a few years ago, this crazy, magical princess came crashing into my world out of nowhere and I thought that she was gonna ruin my life or something.”

Star laughed, before playfully elbowing her boyfriend in the ribs, “Heeeyy.”

Marco smiled, but continued, “But then, the craziest thing happened, I discovered I loved spending time with her and being near her...” Star blushed, staring shyly into Marco's brown orbs as he continued. “And that the magical chaos that I was so afraid was gonna ruin my life, ended up changing it and me for the better. I wouldn't be the same without her and I wouldn't change a single minute of it, no matter how weird or wild it got.”

“Me either,” Star said, moving so her back now rested on his side, giving the arm now wrapped around her frame a tight squeeze.

“So, you see, if this safe kid could learn to embrace Mewni and all its strangeness, than anyone can,” Marco finished, placing a gentle peck at the top of her head.

Star nodded, letting out a content sigh as she nuzzled Marco's form with the back of her head (causing the boy to blush like crazy), replying softly, “Yeah, I guess you're right.”

One Month After Cleaving

Marco lay awake in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't know how late it was, though he guessed easily after midnight, yet sleep still continued to evade him. Not that he was actively trying to fall asleep, the concept of a good night's rest about as far from his mind as possible, not when he had a million other things on his mind to worry about, his thoughts running wild and refusing to release him from their cruel hold.

The nights were always the hardest for him, during the day it was easy to distract himself, his life full and busy since Earthni had come to be. He was constantly coming and going from meetings and speeches as he, Star, Moon, and Eclipsa worked hard to create peace amongst the three races that now dwelled on this dimension, trying to appease everyone to the best of their abilities, trying to set up boundaries, a new ruling system and constitution, and most importantly making sure everyone would be considered equal in their new home. All of this alone was exhausting but add in spending time with his friends, taking care of his new baby sister, and regular dates with Star and Marco barely had time to breath, much less think.

So at night, when everything finally quieted down and there was nothing but him and the empty silence of his room, that was when the flashbacks would start. He would lay there for hours on end thinking about that day in the Realm of Magic, the fear and sorrow he had felt when the two had separated for what might have been forever. How, in his moment of despair, he had been incapable of returning to Earth, planning on going to Mewni, to Star, only to find his only way back was now closed, leaving him stranded and alone. He remembered how relieved he had been to see Star, to hug her and cling to her for what might have been the end, only to be separated from her once more.

He could still feel his desperation as he raced across town to the portal, to the last chance he had of being with the one he loved again, only to have his final hope shattered and destroyed in a massive explosion, his own stupid legs incapable of reaching the portal in time.

The boy shuddered, letting out a shaky sigh, as he rolled over onto his side. Every night it was the same thing, Marco would lie there and think about how he almost lost his soulmate, his love, his Star forever. About how close he had come to losing his better half. What would his life even be like without Star in it? He dreaded to think about it and yet, he couldn't quite stifle the thoughts in his head... or the occasional nightmare he had about said topic.

Marco blinked away the few stray tears, before rolling over yet again, staring at his wall as he debated getting up and getting a glass of milk or something. It beat laying there in misery, right?

Suddenly, though Marco was pulled from his depressing thoughts as he heard his door gently squeaking open and a small ray of light shining through the crack, blinding the boy for a moment. Marco sat up, looking in shock at the doorway as a head pocked through the entrance, staring at him with startling blue orbs that made his heart dance.

“Star?” Marco asked, his voice tight and he coughed once to clear it. He moved so he was now sitting off the edge watching as Star slowly sauntered over to him, ignoring how adorable she looked in her nightgown. “What are you doing up so late?”

“Couldn't sleep,” Star admitted, staring down at her hands instead of Marco, biting her lip as her eyes filled with worry. Marco didn't even have to ask to know just what was bothering his girlfriend, her expression a perfect match to his.

“Me either,” Marco confessed, giving her a small smile as he patted a spot next to him on the bed. The girl plopped down beside him, bringing her bare knees up to her chest as the two stared off into space. They let out a simultaneous sigh, but made no other attempts at conversation, simply resigning themselves to their uncomfortable thoughts.

“Will we ever stop doing this?” Star finally asked, her voice so low and soft Marco barely heard it.

“We will,” Marco said as comfortingly as possible. “It's just gonna take a while, it's not gonna happen overnight.”

“I wish it did,” Star grumbled bitterly.

Marco put a hand on top of Star's. “Believe me, I do too.” The two finally locked eyes, as Marco gave his girlfriend a loving smile. “But it'll get easier, I promise.”

Star grinned back, before saying, “Well until it does, I'll be here for you, whenever you need me.”

Marco chuckled a little, before adding, “Me too.” And then he planted the softest kiss on Star's forehead.

“Well I better be getting back to bed,” Star said, reluctantly rising up off the soft mattress, walking slowly toward the door. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Marco replied, watching with suppressed sadness as his girlfriend left his room. The moment she was gone and the door closed, Marco let out a breath to sooth his nerves. It's okay, she's only going to her room, it's right down the hall, she's not going away forever, he reassured himself, using the breathing technique Sensai had taught him. You don't need to get her. You don't need to get her.

You need to get her. Marco whimpered as the panic set in and the boy was unable to stop himself as he jumped to his feet, running to the door and throwing it open, already calling out for his girlfriend. “Star!”

The boy froze as he came face to face with Star who hadn't moved an inch since closing the door, just standing silently out in the hallway unable to return to her own room. Marco panted as he stared into Star's startled eyes and he quickly gasped out, “I need you here with me, I don't want to be alone.”

“Me too!” Star squeaked out, the worry on her face clear.

“You wanna sleep in my room tonight?”

“Yes, please!”

Star quickly wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's neck, practically hanging off him as Marco pushed the door closed with his foot, slowly shuffling them over to the bed. The boy laid down, pulling Star with him so she was now laying on top of him, Star gently laying her head on his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat sooth her. Marco pulled the covers up over them, before wrapping his arms around his girlfriend's waist.

“Comfortable?” he asked and Star nodded.

“Mm-hmm,” she replied sweetly.

“Good,” Marco said, kissing the top of her head and causing his girlfriend to grin ear to ear.

The two settled down deeper into their warm sheets, their minds finally calm enough to allow them to rest. The two were asleep within minutes, snoring softly as they held onto one another, dreaming pleasant dreams, safe and secure in the knowledge that against all odds, they were together.

One Year After Cleaving

The loud sound of clashing could be heard echoing through the treetops, alerting everyone to the violent struggle taking place as Star and Marco were engaged in combat with Earthni's most wanted criminal: Mina. The woman, despite no longer having magic, was still putting up quite the fight, even though she was more of a nuisance for the veteran fighters than an actual threat. The crazy woman, armed with a broad sword, was swinging recklessly at them in the hopes of maiming one of her two opponents. While Star and Marco flowed around her attacks with precision and grace, their movements near synchronized, almost as if they were of the same mind.

Marco would do most of the countering for the two, since he was armed with the sword Star had gotten for him for this birthday earlier that year. Which left Star open to lash out at Mina with a brutal kick, her karate lessons from Marco paying off well, her foot practically a lethal weapon at this point. Mina seemed to be growing more and more reckless with every second that passed, clearly running out of steam as she struggled to hold the two off, growling in anger as she lashed out at them. It was obvious the fight was soon drawing to a close.

In a last desperate attempt she tried stabbing at Star, Marco quickly sliding into his girlfriend's rescue, his sword clanging loudly against Mina's, as he held her at bay. Star took this opportunity to strike, ducking low under Marco's arm and catching Mina by surprise as she suddenly rose to full height and punched Mina smack in the face.

The woman cried out in pain, stumbling back away from the two and dropping her sword. Star and Marco shared a look before running at her as one and swinging their legs around and kicking her square in the chest as one, sending Mina flying back and nearly into the rushing river behind her.

Star and Marco panted, the boy sheathing his sword, their exhaustion only as relevant as the joyful smiles on their faces as they shared a loving look. It felt great to be fighting together again like old times, it reminded them of why they fell in love in the first place.

Mina rose awkwardly to her feet, swaying unevenly as she shouted out, “Hey what gives, why are you attacking me, anyways? I didn't do nothin' wrong. Just wait till I tell the proper authorities you two attacked a helpless old lady!”

Star and Marco rolled their eyes, the blond arguing, “Mina, give it up already, we know you've been trying to poison the Monster's water supply.”

“Yeah, we already have multiple eyewitnesses,” Marco added.

Mina crossed her arms, childishly turning her head away from them. “I don't know what you're talking about,” she denied.

The two gave her a deadpanned stare as Marco pointed out, “We can see the vat of toxic waste behind you.”

Mina froze, turning to where a vat sat beside her, green smoke coming out of the top, with a massive symbol for 'biohazzard' was on the front. She scoffed, waving a dismissive hand at the two, before claiming, “Big deal. You monster smoochers can't stop me with your puny fighting technique, I was Queen Solaria's most trusted general, I don't go down so easily!”

“Oh, you mean the queen who helped us destroy the magic to take down you!” Star taunted.

Mina's eyebrow twitched, before exclaiming, “That was probably just a fake you made to fool me with your magic! Oh yeah, I'm onto you, I saw through your act in a heartbeat cause my mind is magic-proof, you see.” She pointed at her head with a superior grin.

“Could have fooled me,” Marco muttered under his breath.

“Now then, if you'll excuse me, I have a river to poison.” With that, Mina blew a sharp whistle, Manfred emerging from the trees a second later. “Manfred, hurry up and knock this over for me, I got two nuisances to take care of.”

“Yes, Lady Mina,” Manfred replied, already pushing on the large container, bringing it closer and closer to the river bed.

Star and Marco gasped, before turning to each other, the boy saying quickly, “You get Mina, I'll stop Manfred.”

Star nodded. “Sounds good.”

With that the two rushed at Mina, the boy in the lead, his sword already raised to strike. Mina, who had picked hers back up, rose to counter him, only to freeze in surprise as the boy dropped his sword.

Just before it hit the ground, Star slid out from under Marco's legs, catching the sword and bouncing to her feet, knocking Mina's sword out of her hands, with a single swing.

Marco altered course, running around the two and now headed for Manfred. Once he was close, he lashed out with a kick, being sure to get at an angle he wouldn't accidentally knock the waste into the river. The man went down with a hurt grunt, laying in a bruised heap on the floor, as Marco towered over him, a hand on the poisonous container to keep it steady.

He looked over to Star who was making quick work of Mina and allowed a grin to spread across his face at how beautiful she looked in combat. Finally, the crazy lady gave up, running for the treetops as she shouted to her partner, “Manfred, let's get out of here!”

“Yes, milady,” the man replied, rising shakily to his feet and running after Mina. Once the two reached the treeline, Mina turned and declared, “You may have won this round, monster smoochers, but next time I'll beat'cha, I'll beat you all!” She raised an angry fist at them before disappearing from sight with a sinister cackle.

Star and Marco stared blankly at the treeline, before Marco turned to Star and asked, “Should we be worried about that?”

“Marco, it's Mina,” his girlfriend reminded him. “She threatens us every other day.”

“True,” the boy said with a quick nod.

“We should probably call Eclipsa, though and let her know the water is safe,” Star suggested.

“Yeah,” Marco agreed, digging into his pocket for his phone. “Not to mention picking up this toxic waste.” But as the boy turned on his phone, he gasped in shock.

“What, what is it?” Star asked nervously, instantly hovering closer to him with worry.

Marco let out a disappointed sigh, before showing her his phone or more importantly the time display. “It's after six, we'll never make it to the restaurant in time,” the hooded teen muttered sadly.

“Oh no,” Star said in dismay, but seeing the sorrowful look on her boyfriend's face she quickly added, “I'm sorry Marco.” She placed a comforting hand on Marco's shoulder, giving him a sympathetic look. “I know you really wanted to take me.”

“Well yeah,” the boy muttered, sulking as he stared at his feet. “It's our one year anniversary, I wanted to make it special. I even payed big money to hook us up with a table at Chez Platypus. But now it looks like our whole date is ruined.”

Star gently cupped his face in her hand, turning it so he could face her, giving him a bright, loving smile. “Marco, nothing's ruined,” she told him and the boy's eyes widened in surprise.

“Wait, really?” he asked, almost in disbelief she felt that way.

“Of course,” his girlfriend told him, her confident tone causing all his insides to dance. “Sure it would be cool to eat in some fancy restaurant, but all I really want is to spend time with my best friend. I don't care how we spend it, so long as we spend it together.”

Marco smiled, tenderly grabbing her wrists as he stared at his wonderful girlfriend. She was so good to him. There was no way he deserved to be dating someone as cool as Star. And the fact that he was made him happier than anything in the entire world.

“So,” Star continued, finally pulling her hands away from his face. “How about we call Eclipsa, head back to your place, and watch a bunch of cheesy movies and eat nachos until we puke?”

Marco laughed, putting his arm around his girlfriend, the girl hugging his small frame. “Nothing could make me happier,” the boy replied, as he led Star away to finish their date.

Three Years After the Cleaving

Star and Marco sat on the roof of the Diaz's home, a picnic blanket sprawled out underneath, an opened basket beside them and a plate of half eaten eggs next to them. Star leaned her head against Marco's shoulder, sighing in contentment as the young couple watched the sun setting on the horizon. "Its beautiful," Star whispered and Marco nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, it is," the boy agreed softly.

Star snuggled a little deeper into Marco's arm, her mind reminiscing the wonderful day the two had spent together, saying out loud, "I don't think today could get any better."

Marco hid a smile, the bubbly eagerness in his chest almost making him float. He was about to prove her wrong. What Star didn't know was that he had a very special surprise for his girlfriend in store. So as subtly as he could he reached over to the plate of eggs and lightly tapped them with his hand causing them to slip off the roof and onto the ground, shattering.

Star looked down in surprise while Marco let out a fake gasp. "Oh no, our roof eggs!" He said, making his voice sound as disappointed as possible. He clicked his tongue, before turning to Star and asking, "Think you can get some more from the basket?"

"Sure," Star said pleasantly, pulling away from her bestie so she could dig around in the basket. "Hmmm," she muttered in concentration. "I'm not seeing it."

"Check the bottom," Marco suggested, barely able to suppress the excited squeak in his voice, a wide smile on his face.

Star obeyed, rooting around at the bottom of the basket, only for her fingers to brush up against something. Star paused, an eyebrow slowly raising as she looked over to her boyfriend, who was grinning ear to ear as he watched Star, the mischievous look on his face, telling her this had to be his doing. The blond pulled out the small object from the basket and examined it closely for a minute. It was a small velvet box and her mouth dropped open at the sight of it, looking over to Marco with a hopeful expression.

He gave her the tiniest of nods, saying in anticipation, "Why don't you open it up?"

Star grinned and instantly flipped the top open, gasping at what she saw inside. Sitting a tiny pillow was a golden ring with a diamond cut clearly in the center. A hand went to her mouth as tears began welling up in her eyes, muttering out in a chocked tone, "Is this- Are you- Are we really gonna-"

Marco gently took Stars hand, wrapping his own around hers, as he said in a loving tone, "Yep. Sorry I can't get down on one knee but I though this was the best way to ask." He sucked in a deep breath, gathering his nerves before blurting out, "Star Butterfly, will you marry me?"

Star smiled at the proposal, her eyes shimmering with unparalleled joy, but to Marco's surprise, her answer was simply, "No fair."

"Huh?" Marco replied in confusion, a sudden fear rushing through him. Did I do something wrong? Am I rushing things? Does she not want to?

The blond reached into her small cloud purse, pulling out a matching velvet box to his. She waved it around in the air for a moment, shooting him a wink as she explained, "I was going to wait until after dinner, but you beat me to the punch."

Marco stared at her silently for a second before bursting into laughter, which Star soon shared, tears welling up in their eyes but not quite falling.

"Now what am I supposed to get you for our anniversary," Star said with a fake huff, her cheeks puffing up in the cutest way.

"Well, you saying yes would be nice," Marco said in a flirting tone.

Star smiled, moving so their faces were mere inches apart, her fingers gently tracing lines on the front of his hood. "I'll say yes, only if you do," she offered, giving him the gentlest kiss on the lips.

Marco nodded, his cheeks painted pink from the kiss. "On the count of three?" he asked and Star grinned and nodded vigorously.

"One...." the two said as one, their eyes shimmering with expectation. "Two... THREE!"

Star and Marco sucked in deep breaths, before pumping their fists in the air and screaming, "Of course I'll marry you!"

The two just smiled at each other for a moment as the tears finally burst free from their eyes, flowing down their cheeks in streams. Star laughed, throwing her arms around her now-fiance, nearly causing Marco to slide off the roof, his free arm gripping the siding in desperation. "Ah, Star, careful!" the boy screamed in panic.

"Who cares about being careful when I'm going to marry the guy of my dreams!" The blond squealed.

Marco just laughed clinging onto his girlfriend, listening as she spoke a mile a minute, going on and on about their future wedding plans and how incredible everything was and how much she loved him, while he simply smiled and enjoyed this precious moment with the love of his life.

Five Years After Cleaving

Star and Marco sat across from each other, eating their dinner in silence, enjoying their time together and the delicious food in front of them. It was a simple dinner of just tacos from Britta's but they both were enjoying their meal immensely. It was once again their anniversary but the two had agreed to keep things simple this time, no gifts, no extravagant restaurants, just some take-out and maybe watching a movie or two. Too bad they were both terrible at keeping that promise, both having surprises lined up for their significant other.

Marco looked up from his taco to stare at his loving wife, mesmerized by her beauty even as she stuffed what had to be at least her third taco down her throat, his heart overflowing with love over how adorable Star was. And he couldn't help himself as he laughed at the sight of his wife's puffed up cheeks from cramming yet another taco whole into her mouth, chewing loudly. “Geez, Star, you sure have been eating a lot lately,” he commented playfully. “What are you planning on hibernating this year?”

Star swallowed before sarcastically rolling her eyes and saying, “Oh ha ha, very funny.” She stuck her tongue out at her husband, who laughed again and she soon was giggling along with him. Finally, once the two calmed down, Star quickly asked, “Hey can you pass me the syrup?”

An eyebrow immediately shot up as Marco asked, “Syrup, what do you need that for?”

“My tacos, silly,” Star replied with a scoff, as if the answer should be obvious.

Marco looked confused and slightly disgusted for a second before shrugging and standing up to get her the bottle. The moment the syrup was in her hands, Star was licking her lips and pouring endless amounts of the sugary substance all over her tacos, bathing them in an unhealthy layer of sticky maple. Marco could only watch in awe, he had seen Star have some bizarre food combinations before but this had to take the cake. Finally, once Star had what she believed to be a proper amount of syrup covered tacos, she quickly wolfed them down without a care, her hands soon dripping with syrup.

Marco, after a few seconds of watching her, pushed his plate away, no longer interested in eating as he watched his wife scarfing down more and more tacos until there wasn't a single left on the table.

The two cleaned up the kitchen in record time, working together to form the ultimate cleaning duo, and in less than two minutes the two collapsed on the living room couch, holding their full bellies and groaning in both discomfort and satisfaction. The two sat back to back on the sofa, staring off into space as Star said, “That was delicious! What was a great idea for dinner, Marco!!”

“Thanks,” the boy said brightly. “I mean you can't go wrong with Britta's Tacos!”

“Agreed,” Star said sitting up. She gave her husband a loving smile as she said, “This has been a great date so far! I'm glad we decided to keep things simple for once. Don't want a repeat of last year's anniversary.”

The two shuddered in unison at the memory, Marco nervously whispering, “Soo many pig-goats. I can still see their eyes.”

“It took them a week to put out the fire,” Star added, her own eyes distant and disturbed.

“I told you making it a double date with Tom and Janna was a bad idea,” Marco pointed out, his voice still in a dazed monotone.

But the two seemed to instantly snap out of it, after that, as Star added in her typically cheerful demeanor, “Buutt at least this year we both got to have a great anniversary without causing permanent damage to the city.”

Marco chuckled, before agreeing, “Yeah.” He paused for a moment before, adding sheepishly, “Uh but I do have a bit of a confession to make.”

Star gave him a confused look, watching as he rubbed at the back of his neck in that adorable way he always did whenever he was embarrassed about something. “What's that?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Marco coughed into his hand. “Okay, I know we said no gifts... but I couldn't help myself. I got you something,” he admitted, flashing her an apologetic grin.

But Star just smiled lovingly at her husband, taking his hands into her own as she said, “Aww, Marco you are so sweet! Of course I don't mind.” She hid her mischievous grin as she added cryptically, “Besides, I may have gotten you a little something myself.”

“Guess neither of us could resist, huh?” Marco joked, laughing at their inability to resist spoiling the other.

“Nope, guess not,” Star said, laughing along with her husband, doing her best to hide the knowing glint in her eyes. She wanted to keep her surprise secret right until the last second. Marco could read her like a book most times, if she showed too much emotion she'd give it away before it was time.

“I bet my gift is better than yours,” Marco said in challenge and Star gave him a playful smirk.

“Oh yeah, well prove it then, Mr. Diaz,” the blond replied. I seriously doubt that, she couldn't help but think to herself.

The young man gave his wife a confident smirk, slowly pulling his hands out of his pocket, while muttering, “Booooossshh.” Once, the gift was in sight, Star gasped, a hand flying to her mouth as she whispered, “Oh Marco.”

It was a locket in the perfect shape of a heart, dangling from a golden chain. The inside of the locket was opened, revealing a very familiar picture fit neatly inside: the Beach Day photo. The two smiling faces of their teenage selves, looking happy and blissful together enough to bring tears to her eyes at the wonderful memory. She grabbed the necklace out of her husband's hands in a second, examining it closely as she said in a chocked tone, “It's beautiful.”

“You like it?” Marco asked softly, a feeling of immense joy for making his Star smile like that filling his being and making his insides flutter.

She locked eyes with him, her familiar blue piercing his soul and making permanent residence in his melted heart. “I love it,” she said sweetly.

“I thought you might,” he said, moving over to help put the necklace on, Star moving her long hair out of the way as he did. “Well, nobody knows me better than you,” the blond replied flirtingly and Marco nearly fumbled with the clasp as blood pooled into his flushed cheeks. Once the boy was finished with the necklace, he sat back with a nod of satisfaction, saying, “There, perfect.”

“I hope you know I'm never taking his off, ever,” Star commented, wrapping a hand around the golden heart.

Marco laughed. “I figured as much.” He winked at her adding confidently, “Let's see you top that.”

Star inwardly smirked. Oh just wait and see, Diaz. “I'll try my best,” she said in a fake disheartened tone, putting a hand dramatically to her forehead.

Marco laughed again, before asking impatiently, “Okay but seriously, enough of the suspense already, what'd ya get me?”

“Welll I wasn't the only one who made it,” Star said cryptically. “Let's just say it was a... joint effort.” She winked at him and her husband, to her amusement, only cocked his head cutely to the side.

“Huh? What's that supposed to mean?” Marco asked, his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion and Star could almost gush over how adorable her husband looked in that moment.

But instead of answering, Star just gently grabbed his hand and placed it over her belly, giving him a knowing and hinting smile.

Marco's eyes darted from his wife's face to her belly than back to her face than to her belly again as his look of confusion slowly turned into realization and then to shock as his mouth fell open in disbelief. He gave Star a hopeful look, as he stuttered out, “Wait, y-you mean y-y-your gonna...”

Star's smile was incapable of growing any wider as she nodded, squealing out, “Yes! We're gonna have a baby, Marco!”

A look of pure joy crossed her husband's face, goofy grin on his face as he stared thoughtfully into the distance. “I'm-I'm gonna be a dad!” he muttered breathlessly.

“And I'm gonna be a mom!” Star shouted enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around him in a bone-crushing hug. “Aren't you excited, Marco?! We're gonna be parents!”

“Uh yeah! Of course I'm excited!” Marco screamed and the two immediately hopped off the couch, jumping up and down as they still clung to each other in a tight hug. “We're gonna be parents! We're gonna be parents!” the two screamed as one. Eventually, Marco lifted Star off the ground and began twirling her around in a circle the two giggling in delight all the while.

But suddenly, Marco stopped, a look of fear crossing his face as he said, “Oh my gosh, Star! I'm so sorry!” He gently set her back down, before asking in a nervous ramble, “Are you okay? Did I hurt the baby? Do you need anything?”

“Marco,” Star spoke up, putting a hand on his cheek, instantly stilling his fears with a warm smile. “It's fine.”

Marco nodded, still looking so completely overwhelmed with emotion, his smile bright and infectious, his eyes filled with protective instincts for his wife and unborn child with tears brimming at the very corner of his vision. Star sat back down on the couch, pulling Marco with her, not releasing his hands for anything. “Everything's gonna be just fine, okay?”

Marco nodded, his eyes drifting down to his wife's stomach unable to keep his eyes off of it now, so many emotions flowing through him at once he nearly lost his breath. “I was wrong, Star,” Marco said, his voice chocked with emotion. “I couldn't have asked for a greater gift. This... this is the happiest day of my life.”

Star smiled, leaning over and planting a loving kiss to his lips. “Diddo,” she said sweetly as she pressed their foreheads together. The two stayed like that for a moment, before Marco asked, “Star?”

“Yeah?”

“Can-Can I feel?” he asked softly, almost nervously.

Star laughed. “Duh, of course you can, silly,” Star said, pulling away and leaning back so Marco could feel her belly. The boy reached out a shaky hand, setting it gingerly, if not hesitantly down on his wife's stomach. For a few second, Marco just sat there in awe, his eyes shimmering as he stared at Star's belly. He slowly grew more confident as he lay his head against it, his heart swelling with joy as he curled up in Star's lap.

Star just smiled down at her husband, running a hand through his soft, brown hair, her own heart almost bursting at this point.

“I didn't think it was possible,” the boy said in a breathless sigh.

“What was possible?” Star asked curiously.

“To love you any more than I already did,” Marco replied, in the softest, most tender voice Star had ever heard and her heart melted, her cheeks flushing against her will.

Star smiled wrapping her arms around her husband's neck and burying her face into his hair, chuckling softly as she just whispered out, “You dork.”

And the two, soon to be three of them, stayed just like that for what felt like an eternity.

Ten Years After Cleaving

Four-year-old Illumina Angela Diaz-Butterfly slowly crept down the stairs, listening to the sound of her parents chatting in the kitchen of their home. She peeked her head in, seeing her dad hard at work on their dinner, while her mom sat on the counter, the two laughing at some unheard joke. This was their typical routine every evening and sometimes every meal, and as Illumina snuck closer she could see that they were too deep in their conversation to notice her, causing the four-year-old to smile. Perfect.

She eyed her target hungrily, a plate of freshly baked cookies sitting out on a tray opposite her parents and licked her lips in want. Illumina slowly tip-toed over to the plate, keeping a weary eye on her parents in case they spotted her. But as she got closer, her attention was grabbed by the tray of sweets and a hand slowly rose to snatch one up.

“Illy,” came a scolding tone and the little girl flinched. She turned to see her mom and dad had spotted her, her father giving her a stern look, his hands on his hips. “Illy, were you about to eat a cookie without permission?”

Illumina quickly shook her head, giving her dad the most innocent smile she could. “I just wanted a teeny tiny one,” the little girl said with a begging pout.

Marco's eyebrow slowly raised, as he asked knowingly, “And how many have you already had?”

The girl shrugged, before admitting softly, “Umm, maybe one or two.”

“Illy, you know dinner is gonna be soon,” Marco reminded her in a semi-stern voice, trying to reason with his child. “And three cookies is way too much sugar for you.”

“But if your good and eat all your vegetables we'll think about letting you have one more after dinner,” Star spoke up, giving her daughter a bright grin.

“Yeah,” Marco agreed with a nod, smiling proudly at his wife, before turning his attention back to his daughter. “How does that sound, Illy?”

“Okay, I guess,” the little girl muttered sourly.

“That's my girl,” Marco praised, giving Illumina a warm grin. He quickly directed his attention back on the meal he was preparing, stuffing on his oven mitts and sliding the pan into the oven to cook.

The moment her husband's back was turned, Star leaned over and picked up a cookie, shoving it into her daughter’s hands. “Quick before he sees you,” she whispered and Illumina nodded before running off.

Marco watched his daughter run out of the room, before fixing his wife with an accusing glare, while she whistled innocently, staring up at the ceiling. “You know I saw that right?” he asked Star.

“I don't know what your talking about,” Star said with a shrug, feigning ignorance.

Marco sighed, but couldn't stop himself from grinning. He couldn't stay mad at the love of his life, Star had him wrapped around her finger and they both knew it. “You're gonna end up giving her a cavity, y'know,” he said, giving his wife a playful smile.

“No way, if she gets one it'll be your fault for not stopping me,” Star argued, her voice light and bubbly.

Marco rolled his eyes, before saying in a fake annoyed tone, “What am I gonna do with you?”

“Come on, you know you love it,” Star said with a teasing wink.

“Yeah, I do,” Marco admitted, before wrapping an arm around his wife's waist, pulling her closer. Star just laughed, before the two's lips meeting in a passionate, if not playful kiss. The two stayed like that for at least a minute before the smoke detector started going off in the background and Illumina's voice called from upstairs, “Mom, dad, I smell smoke!”

Marco gasped and pulled away rushing over to the oven as he yelled in panic, “Oh no, my casserole!”

…

Marco managed to recover the casserole without it ending up too burnt and the family happily enjoyed their dinner, Star and Marco listening as little Illumina described her fun time being babysat while her parents were out of their date.

“It was soo much cool, mom and dad!” Illumina exclaimed, her eyes shining with joy as she practically bounced in her seat. “Aunt Janna showed me a bunch of card tricks and then Uncle Tom set them on fire by accident.”

Star nodded. “That sounds like Tom, alright,” she said cheerfully.

“Yeah and then Aunt Janna showed me how to scam suckers out of their cash,” the little girl added innocently and Marco nearly chocked on his water, Star having to pat his back to try and keep him from chocking.

“She did what?!” Marco exclaimed, slamming his cup down on the table.

“No, no, it's okay,” Illumina reassured her dad. “She said that they were a bunch of criminals anyways, so it was fine. Besides, she said if things got really bad she would just have Uncle Tom set everything on fire to cover our tracks!”

Marco face-palmed groaning in disbelief. “Janna, whhhyy?!” the boy muttered, before slamming his head down on the table.

“Well what did you expect, asking those two to babysit Illumina?” Star asked in a clear I-told-you-so tone.

“We didn't have many other options, Star,” Marco pointed out bitterly.

“Look, Marco's it's fine, it could have been a lot worse,” Star reminded him, grabbing his hand and giving it a small squeeze.

“Mommy, daddy, how come you never make me Mewman-man cakes? Gradma Eclipsa and Grampy Globgore let me have it all the time when they babysit and Grampy even let me have the head because he said that's the most delicious part!” Illumina suddenly blurted out, lost in her own little world as she finished her plate.

Star and Marco shared a quick look, before the latter said dryly, “So agree to only ever let Jackie and Chloe babysit her?”

“Agreed,” the blond said with a nod.

Illumina suddenly spoke up again, pushing her plate away before asking, “Daddy I ate all my vegetables, can I please have another cookie now?”

Marco shook his head, saying, “I don't know Illumina, four cookies is way too many.”

“Yeah, I think we should wait until tomorrow for another one,” Star agreed.

“But I reallly want it! I promise I'll be good, please, please, please?!” Illimina begged, giving her parents a pouting lip and shimmering, hopeful eyes.

Star and Marco stared blankly into their daughter's pleading eyes, feeling their resolve instantly crack and they shared a quick look before Marco said, “Just make sure to brush your teeth, afterwards.”

…

Later that night, in Illumina's room the girl's gentle snoring and soft breathing indicated to the two parents their daughter was truly asleep and they shared a quick smile. Marco turned off the lamp on Illumina's dresser, as well as switching on Illumina's night light (since she had grown an irrational fear of the dark recently) while Star made sure Illumina was nice and tucked in, pulling the covers up to her daughter's chin. Star and Marco took turns planting a kiss on their daughter's forehead, before quietly exiting the room, Star turning for only a moment to whisper softly, “Goodnight Illumina.”

Marco gently shut the door and the two let out a relieved sigh in the safety of the hallway, the two leaning up against the wall, exhausted. “Man, I thought she'd never get to sleep,” Marco commented tiredly.

“Well it was kinda our own fault for letting her eat so many cookies before bed,” Star pointed out.

“Good point,” Marco agreed with a nod. “We should really have a sugar limit for her from now on.”

“Sounds good,” the blond replied, the two now headed for their bedroom. “How about no more than three cookies before bed from now on?”

“Three?” Marco asked skeptically, with an eyebrow slowly raising. “Do you want her bouncing off the walls every night?”

“Okay, Mr. Diaz, how many do you think she should have?” Star inquired with a playful smirk.

Marco thought about it for a moment before replying, “Two, but only if she eats all her dinner first.”

Star nodded in agreement, saying sweetly, “That sounds fair to me.”

The two entered into their bedroom, before collapsing on the bed with tired sighs, Marco's body hanging off the left side and Star's body hanging off the right. “Man, it was a long day today,” Marco muttered.

“Yep, sure was,” Star agreed.

The two paused, staring up at their ceiling deep in thought as a comfortable silence settled over them. Both just laid there thinking about their life together, there was no denying that their life was without problems but they were nothing the two couldn't handle together and the joyful moments easily overshadowed the unpleasant ones and neither would change their lives for a second. And after a moment or two Marco slowly turned his head, so he was now staring at Star, saying, “Hey Star.”

Star turned her head so chocolate brown and sky blue met in a hypnotic dance. “Yeah, Marco.”

“I'm glad I met you,” he said with an affectionate smile.

Star felt her cheeks slightly flush as she added, “I'm glad I met you, too.”

The two leaned closer, giving each other a small kiss on the lips, pouring all their love and tenderness into one single act. As the two parted, both breathless from the wonderful emotion coursing through their bodies, Star asked, “What brought that on, anyways?”

Marco shrugged. “Just thinking out loud. I'm always grateful we found each other when we did. I couldn't imagine my life without you in it.”

“Aww, Marco you are such a sap,” Star said with a playful wink.

Marco laughed, before admitting, “I'm always a sap when it comes to you, I love you, Star.”

“I love you too, Marco,” the blond said sweetly.

The two sat up before giving each other a loving hug, their minds for just a moment flashing back to all those years ago, when they had embraced for the first time in their new world. “Happy Anniversary, Star,” Marco whispered, squeezing his wife tight, knowing nothing could ever part them again.

“Happy Anniversary, Marco,” Star replied, snuggling deeper into the loving hold of her wonderful husband as a single tear dripped down her cheek.

The two stayed like that for far longer than either of them cared to count. And when the moment finally did come to an end, the two weren't worried knowing they had countless more moments to share, for many years to come.

Thank you for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed!! This actually might be the sappiest thing I've ever written, like seriously I was getting teared up writing this ending but I like to think that Star and Marco get super sentimental and sappy on their anniversaries. I also have a headcannon that they both became extremely clingy for a while after the Cleaving and had trouble being apart, which I of course put in here. Sorry for no big description on my Starco child Illumina, she's a recent idea I had but I don't have many details down for her yet like her looks or outfit so I had to leave it to you guys imagination, she just fit really well in here for the ending.

Oh also, I drew some heavy inspiration from the second part from my good friend @jcabrera35 fanatstic comic “Lingering Baggage”. If you haven’t seen it I highly recommend because it’s amazing and I try my best to promite it every chance I get!! Also huge thank you to my other good friend @kikithefox231 who came up with the idea for the cookie snatching going on in this chapter! If you haven’t seen her stuff go check it out cause it’s great also!! These two are both very talanted individuals and they deserve more love!!!

So anyways I'm gonna sign off now, hope everyone has a great anniversary Stardom!! Stay amazing, guys!! :)

#Star vs #Post-Earthni #My Writing #Starco #Cleaved Anniversary #Starco child #Jantom #Slight Jantom

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sshbpodcast · 3 years

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Tales from the Holodeck: DS9 Fanfic: Caitlin’s Story

Not only has A Star to Steer Her By wrapped all of Deep Space Nine, but your podcast hosts are also celebrating our fifth anniversary of bringing you through all of Star Trek! As a treat, we’ve concocted DS9-themed fanfic stories and teleplays in our much-celebrated “Tales from the Holodeck” series that you can listen to us cold read here (this one starts at 2:53). Read on for the transcript of Caitlin’s Opaka-Damar story below, featuring a whole new take on the series finale!

[images © Paramount/CBS]

Caitlin’s Untitled Story!

By Caitlin

Random picks: Kai Opaka, Damar

The bipedal humanoid grunted with displeasure as his shovel hit something hard. “Damned lava rock!” he cursed, pulling a pick from where it swung at his belt and kneeling. “Every damn time I think I’ve made progress…” He braced himself and took a firm swing at the as yet unseen rock, using all of his strength -

- and the pick shattered, a bright light emitting from below.

“What the devil - “ He shrank back, falling onto his buttocks and looking on in terror. “What witchcraft is this?!” He looked around for his companions, yelling, “Darv! Grekon!”

The two other men approached, shovels resting on their shoulders as they approached. “Triev! What the hell is that?” asked one, Darv, as he jogged up.

“Don’t get any closer!” said the one called Grekon. “The Kai should see this.”

* * * *

“I don’t blame you for being scared, my friends,” said Kai Opaka warmly, a warm smile crossing her broad face. “Such a thing has almost certainly never been seen Ennis or Sol-Ennis before - truth be told, I’m not sure how it came to be here.”

“But, what is it, your Eminence?” asked Triev, fear assuaged but replaced with distrust.

“This is what the Klingons would call a time crystal,” said the Kai, reaching out with a shawl-covered hand to lift it from the ground. “It is very special, very powerful, and must be put away where it can do no harm. I will store it in my quarters under lock and key. And who knows. One day, the prophets may reveal their purpose in sending it here to me.”

* * * *

Opaka woke from her dream with a start, and sat bolt upright in her simple cot.

“My lady, what is it?” came the gentle voice of the former Kai’s trusted servant, Saline.

“I’ve had a vision! For the first time since I arrived here, the Prophets have reached me! And they have shown me what I must do,” said the Kai, rising from her bed and moving to her modest dresser. “Come, girl, help me put a few things together - the fate of my entire home quadrant could rely on my actions of the next few days!”

The confused girl rushed to do as bidden, with a murmured, “yes, m’lady,” and helped the Kai gather her few traveling necessities into a bundle. As she did so, Opaka crossed the room to the one lavish item in her home - a small, elaborately decorated box, tightly locked, its contents hidden from view. She drew a leather cord from under her robes, revealing a series of small keys.

“I must ask for your complete silence, child,” the Kai whispered. “The mechanism in this box needs concentration and precision - an incorrect step in the unbinding process could cause the entire place to go up in an explosion you cannot imagine.”

The girl’s face paled as she watched the Kai, gently inserting key after key, twisting them each to measured intervals, her hands quick and meticulous.

As the lock sighed and released, the Kai kissed the keys and whispered, “thanks be to the Prophets for their guidance!” Before removing the box’s contents - the time crystal.

* * *

“But you eminence!” protested Triev. “How will you get there? And how will you return? And how will you keep us from all dy-”

“The Prophets work in mysterious ways!” the Kai said hurriedly. “Besides, with the aid of a Time Crystal, surely all will be well. Now never fear - since I’ll be using the crystal to stop the flow of time on this planet, I’ll literally be back before you even realize I’ve gone!”

* * *

She watched from the shadows as it all played out, saying a silent prayer to the Prophets for their guidance.

WINN: Dorra tolka bre tri pah wran. Kosst Amojan, come to me! I await you.

But the wraith did not want Winn, and threw her against the rocks. Passing her by just as the Prophets have, thought Opaka.

The wraith went straight for the prostrate corpse that was once Gul Dukat, and entered him. An instant later, Dukat’s eyes opened, blood red, as he returned to his Carassian appearance.

“No!” cried Winn, her hopes of being the chosen of the pah wraiths dashed, truly a woman with nothing left.

DUKAT: Did you really think the Pah wraiths would choose you to be their Emissary? Soon the Pah wraiths will burn across Bajor, the Celestial Temple, the Alpha Quadrant. Can you picture it? A entire universe set in flames, to burn for all eternity. The Prophets have sent me a gift. Their beloved Emissary, sent forth like an avenging angel to slay the demon.

SISKO: I should have known the demon would be you.

DUKAT: Go on. Kill me if you can.

(Sisko's rifle is thrown out of his hands.)

DUKAT: You'll have to do better than that, Captain.

(Dukat zaps Sisko with an energy bolt.)

DUKAT: This is too easy. That's it. Come closer. That's it.

(Sisko punches Dukat. And again. No effect.)

DUKAT: Now bow to me. I said bow.

(Sisko is pushed to his knees.)

SISKO: You are pathetic.

DUKAT: Then why are you the one on your knees?

SISKO: First the Dominion, now the Pah wraith. You have a talent for picking the losing side.

DUKAT: Benjamin, please. We've known each other too long. And since this is the last time we will ever be together, let's try to speak honestly. We've both had victories and our defeats. Now it's time to resolve our differences and face the ultimate truth. I've won, Benjamin. You've lost.

SISKO: The Pah wraith will never conquer anything. Not Bajor. Not the Celestial Temple. And certainly not the Alpha Quadrant.

DUKAT: And who's going to stop us?

SISKO: I am.

DUKAT: You can't even stand up.

WINN: Then I'll stop you.

(Winn raises the Kosst Amojan above her head, and it vanishes to reappear in Dukat's grasp.)

DUKAT: Are you still here?

WINN: Emissary, the book!

(Wraiths surround Winn and she bursts into flames.)

DUKAT: Farewell, Adami.

It is now or never, thought Opaka, it is time to save the Emissary, and the Alpha quadrant!

“That will prove to be your final error in judgment, Dukat.”

The Cardassian whirled around, his red eyes blazing, and a look of shock overtook his usually confident features. “Kai… Opaka? No, this can’t be, you’re dead -”

“I’m afraid reports of my death are greatly exaggerated,” smiled Opaka. “A sentiment you won’t be able to share for much longer.”

Dukat threw back his head and laughed, though the fear still shone in his eyes. “Such arrogance, to think you stand a chance against me. Do you still foolishly cling to your precious prophets? Your Emissary is on his knees, trembling, before me, and I have made easy work of your hypocrite of a Kai - what do you intend to do?”

“It isn’t the Kai you should be concerned with, Dukat,” said a familiar voice.

It couldn’t be - that pathetic little worm would never dare speak to me like this...Dukat thought, mind racing wildly. He turned, shock clearly written across his reptilian face, and saw -

“Damar! How?! You… you died!” gasped Sisko, his mouth agape.

“The Prophets have seen fit to give me a gift - a new life, to give in service to Cardassia…. And to Bajor,” said Damar. It was then that Dukat noticed the bright blueness of his eyes, the energy radiating off of him.

“DAMAR!” he cried, as the other man - once his second in command, his right hand man, a mentee and comrade in the fight for Cardassian supremacy - stood before him, hands outstretched, power gathering at his fingertips. “You fool - you think you can defeat me?”

“What began on Deep Space Nine will be finished now,” said Damar. “And this time, Winn won’t be here to stop you.”

The Kosst Imogen threw back Dukat’s head and laughed gutturally. “We shall see who will be stopping whom!”

The two squared off, beams of energy shooting from their hands - Dukat’s was a sickly blood red, and Damar’s a pure blue beam. The sacrifices that had been made for the Kosst Imogen had made them strong - too strong, perhaps, to be beaten by the Prophet inside of Damar.

Kai Opaka prayed then her most earnest prayer - for a Prophet to take her and allow her to assist Damar in the fight. A flash of light, and she was face to face with Sara; she did not know that this was Sisko’s mother, but she knew she was face to face with a powerful force.

“Sulan,” she said. “I will help you to provide aid during this fight. We had not foreseen this, but perhaps this is the best way.”

Opaka felt power unlike anything she had ever known filling her body, and she found herself next to Damar, not sure of how she had arrived there, but with her body moving seemingly of its own accord - of the accord of hte Prophet! - to join in the fight.

Blue energy flew from her hands to join Damar’s, and the two of them pushed against the Pah Wraith, feeling him start to slide back.

“NO!” cried Dukat. “No, this cannot be! This cannot be - ahhhhhhhhhhh!” Even the Kosst imogen was no match for the power of two Prophets. The once-Cardassian plummeted over the side of the cliff, disappearing into the flames below.

As quickly as they had entered, the Prophets left Opaka and Damar, and the two collapsed - one back to the peace of death, the other into the oblivion of sleep.

* * *

Opaka awoke in the familiar setting of her home, Saline standing over her. “My lady, you’ve returned to us!”

“Wha - How did I get here? How long have I - “ Opaka halted mid sentence, as she was taken by another vision.

“You have done well, Sulan,” Sara, again, stood before Opaka. “We wish to reward you… what can we give you that would make you happy?”

“To serve the Prophets is all the reward I need,” said Opaka. “But… it would mean the world to me, to save the inhabitants of this planet, and return to my home - return to Bajor.”

“As you wish,” said Sara. “So it shall be. Return to Bajor, and serve once again as our Kai. Help to guide the Sisko and prepare him for what the future holds.”

—

For more DS9 fanfic, check out Jake, Chris, and Ames’s stories from this round of Tales from the Holodeck! And be sure to keep listening to new episodes every Thursday on SoundCloud, follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and praise the prophets, my child! They work in mysterious ways.

#star trek #star trek deep space 9 #ds9 #fanfic #star trek fanfiction #ds9 fanfiction #kai opaka #damar #gul dukat #kai winn #pah-wraiths #what you leave behind #battle lines #sisko

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parkjess · 4 years

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How would ASTRO propose to you:

Myungjun:

Idk why but I see Myungjun dating for quite a long time before proposing like 5+ years because he wants to experience the ‘real life’ with you before jumping into that kind of commitment and having kids, but ofcourse he can’t wait to start a family with you and be a great husband and father. It was a random weekend where your parents invited the two of you for a family dinner, little did you know it wasn’t a random weekend.

The first moment you announced Myungjun the exciting news of going to your parents house for a fancy dinner, he took the opportunity to do THE thing he was thinking about for a while now but waited for the perfect moment, and here it was. He called your mother two days before the dinner night because he couldn’t help his excitement anymore and had to share it and so it will not be a complete shock to your mother.

The big day came.

“Baby,” you answer the phone as your hubby calls you by his favorite nickname. -“Hey, what’s up? I’m on my way hon’.” You reply, he told you he was going to wait for you at your parents’ place. “Oh okay, I’ll see you in a few then, love you.” He said as a huge smile plastered on his face, and hung up. Myungjun wasn’t the type to be nervous usually because of his extroverted personality but oh he couldn’t hold his heart in place now. When you arrived, you could notice something strange is happening, and see a complete new living room from the big window your parents had. What the hell is going on? You thought and looked again at the number of the house to make sure you’re at the right place, even though it’s the place you grew up in. “Y/n, you’re here.” You’re mother greeted you as you came in, just to meet the person your heart belongs to, in a beautiful suit you bought him not long ago, and a bouquet of flowers. -“Myungj... honey, what is going on?” You asked with your eyebrows furrowed while your hubby walks up to you, taking a piece of your hair and placing it behind your ear, while staring at you with a precious smile and sparkle in his eyes. “Y/n, my sweetheart. I love you.” He says simply and then pushes his hand into the jacket’s inside pocket. Takes out a small blue box, and your tears start to fill your eyes. He kneels down on his left knee, opens the box and asks, “Will you be mine forever?”

Jinwoo:

Your long time boyfriend took you to a yacht vacation you both needed since you two were working forever now and needed to clean your heads from everything and just enjoy each other’s company.

It wasn’t something unusual but it was just too quite. Your relationship is always full of excitement and everybody can see and hear your love even though neither of you likes being clingy in public, you are most like to show affection when the two of you are alone, like now in the beautiful, relaxing vacation your amazing boyfriend planned for the two of you. It was that perfect time where the sunset is close but it’s still light, he called you to come out of the inside of the yacht and you did.

There he is, your extremely hot boyfriend, dressed in a luxurious suit that makes him look like he bought this yacht. And you try your best to not push him inside the yacht and kiss him. But he had other plans for you.

“Babe, you look so beautiful,” he smirked. I repeat, HE SMIRKED. -“oh do I?” You tease him while walking up the stairs he stood on, reaching the last one and he stops you. “Wait, look.” He turns you around by your shoulders to face the beautiful sunset. The cold breeze hits your face slightly as you fascinated by the view, you turn around to face your boyfriend again. -“Jinwoo, baby what are you-“ you had to look down at your boyfriend since he sat on one of his knees, pulling out a little red box out of his pocket, opening it. “I want you. I want you to watch the sunset with me everyday for the rest of our lives. I want you to marry me Y/n, will you?”

Dongmin:

As fancy as the person, as fancy as the restaurant he will propose to you at.

He knew what he wanted and how he wants to propose to you since he first met you. Both of you were the perfect couple, everyone else would look at you and be jealous, not only because you’re dating this handsome guy but also jealous because he has you in his life. And he was SO damn thankful for having you.

He ordered this Friday night at this fancy restaurant only for the two of you, it’s your 3rd anniversary as a couple today and it wanted to make it special. Especially since the last two anniversaries went wrong because both of you were busy with work and could really celebrate on the exact day, so it was a makeup anniversary he hoped you will never forget.

There was great music, great food and the most important, your great boyfriend looking all handsome, even more than usual (if that’s possible). At the end of the dinner you went to the restroom to fix your lipstick, when you came back you saw his face, he was looking exhausted (exactly like in the pic above), leaning his cheek on the suitcase handle he had with him since it was a weekend in a different city he planned for you two. Sitting back on your sit, your eyes fall on a small, opened ring box he put there on purpose. But where the hell is the ring? You thought, probably someone just put it there.

“Sweetie,” he takes your hand in his, you immediately face him at once. Oh he just, he kneel down, getting closer to your sit with the ring in his other hand. “Happy anniversary sweetheart. I promise to take care of you forever if you agree. So, will you let me?”

Moonbin:

Dude, he be classic and fantastic.

You and you’re boyfriend went on a first perfect date at the beach, it was night time, after the sun decided she is tired and fell asleep. Although you are not a big fan of watching the ocean at night, it was truly perfect, for the both of you.

This is also the place he stole your first kiss. Romantically beautiful. Or beautifully romantic.

You haven’t been dating for a life time now, but he sees these last two years enough for asking you to be his wife, both of you had the feeling like you two know each other for years, when you just started dating. And the love feels endless.

He took you to another date night at the beach, the place where you fell in love, kisses for the first time, and in general, like to spend time together at. -“it’s so cold, don’t you think?” You continue walking on your own as your boyfriend stays behind you, leaving your hand. “Are you cold?” He smiles at you, you literally start to shiver from the cold wind hitting your clothes and hair. You nod your head as he stops again behind you, “Y/n,” he calls your name softly, you turn around, your arms are wrapped in each other. He kneels on the cool sand, the ocean that comes to its end- the shore, has the gentle, favorite sound of yours as you watch your boyfriend. The tears are coming down from your eyes probably because of the weather being too cold for your liking, but also because you get emotional. -“Bin-ah...” you whisper, the sound of your teeth hitting each other definitely can be heard. He holds your hand and shows you the ring that is stuck in the little box. “Y/n, I think we had so many beautiful days in this place, to this view and sound. Will you accept my request to marry you, to this beautiful view?” Well, your body was freezing, but your heart couldn’t feel any warmer.

Minhyuk:

God damn let’s get married here and now don’t even kneel down. Oki shut up.

Park Minhyuk as being your favorite person in the whole world, had so many things in common with you and it made you fall for him even more everyday.

You are dating for 4+ years, enjoying each other’s company, you love to tell him how was your day and he loves to listen to your voice, and don’t even get me telling how much you love to hear his beautiful voice and stories.

One of your common passions was exploring beautiful places, except for each other’s hearts. Both of you LOVED nature. For all of its kinds. But especially trees, green views and flowers, He always took you on your free days to explore new places with lots of trees in, a place you can see the beautiful creations of god with god’s most beautiful creation- Park Minhyuk. You were having fun always when you were together, taking LOTS of pictures of each other in the breathtaking views. He suddenly sat on the damp, deep green grass to try a new pose for the pics. So you followed to be the same height as he is now. He’s all giggly because of how much of effort you make to get the best shots of him, his giggles are music to your ears. Aigoo, this guy is really unbelievable. He was pushing himself with one hand to help himself stand up, when suddenly the ‘low battery’ bubble appeared, you tried to cover your phone with your hand to see better since the sun reflected on the screen. You lift your head to face your boyfriend when you see he adopted a new pose, sitting on one knee, his hand is stuck in the pocket of his jeans, searching for someth- here it is. “Baby,” his husky voice calls, You are still sitting on the grass, busy in your own phone, not realizing what minhyuk is up to. Facing him again, one of your hands is sent to your mouth as you try to calm down yourself, which not really worked. He opens the little red, heart shaped ring box. (I’m not here don’t look for me). -“Oh my goodness, no minhyuk!” You start to cry, throwing your phone on the grass to cover your eyes with both your hands in disbelief. He smiles his big, joyful smile and grabs your hand away from your face. “Baby, I love you. Will you be my drama queen forever?” He jokes as you both laugh, you nod, handing him your hand and he slips the ring into your finger. (Sorry not sorry for writing the “yes I do” thing only for minhyuk it got me so emotional I’m out.)

Sanha:

It’s your birthday, usually your boyfriend calls you at 11:59 to wish you a happy birthday a minute before it even starts.

But today, last night, it didn’t happen. Actually, it’s the middle of the day and he didn’t even texted or answered any of your calls. So he decided to broke up with my on my birthday with not even breaking up? You thought.

You decide to call Myungjun who already wished you happy birthday, he and all of your mutual friends, except for your beloved boyfriend. “Hey y/n, What’s up?” Myungjun answers. You can hear the familiar sound of sanha’s voice in the background. -“I- wait IS THAT SANHA TALKING?” You say furiously and loud enough for him to hear from Myungjun’s phone. And the moment you mention that, there’s complete silence. -“What the heck? I’m on my way.” You declare and hang up. While being on your way to ASTRO’s dorm, you texted sanha: ‘If you have something to tell me, just do it now. Don’t feel pity for me just because it’s my birthday.’

Your blood felt like boiling inside of your body and your heart couldn’t stop it’s heavy pounding. Going up the stairs to their dorm, you meet a tall figure in front of you. Lifting your head. Yoon sanha.

“Are you mad at me?” He speaks up, softly, all gentle and dressed up with a suit. His hand is stuck in the right pocket of his pants. -“Why didn’t you call me ba- where the hell do you think you are going with that suit?” It’s a suit you chose for him. “Y/n...” he steps in closer to you. -“WHAT!” You yell at him, all angry and upset because he forgot your birthday. Little did you know... “Happy birthday.” He leans in to kiss your lips while cupping your face. God damn it. It made you forget every other emotion you felt towards him, except for love. He pulls back slowly, lips still plumpy and against yours, until he kneels down, finally taking the ring out of his pocket. “I know you don’t wanna listen, so just answer. Will you marry me?”

Asdfhjhgjkjhygklyh Yoon sanha shut up

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maddestzoomer · 4 years

Text

that photograph.

summary -

a death, a photograph, and endless white walls.

warnings -

mentions of death, also (not really sure if it counts considering he’s already dead lmao, but whatever) technically suicidal thoughts.

authors note -

i haven’t written for a while, but this is a story i recently found scribbled in my notebook from a few years back. i figured i’d edit some and post it here. feel free to give me any feedback you may have :)

The last picture, dark and blurry, sat crammed in between two pages of his favorite book. It was a photo from the cross-country trip Billy had taken with his family last year.

The negatives were long gone, but one grainy picture remained. It had been there for almost a hundred years, long forgotten, but well protected within the lines of verse.

Billy had died on July fourth.

When it happened, it much more of a bigger deal than he thought it would be. He was nineteen, impaled multiple times by a fucking monster only to die in his sobbing sister's arms.

But in the newspapers, it was nothing more than a freak accident. No-one knew how or why what happened happened, and just about everyone agreed it was strange, but there weren't any real answers supplied.

It was one of those awful things that no one expected and shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't have. He had done a lot of wrong in his short life, but maybe he didn't deserve to die.

People cried for him, sang for him, wished for things to have been different.

Billy was still dead. His ribs were broken, lungs were punctured, and his esophagus was filled with blood until he could no longer breathe. It wasn't short and it wasn't painless. But it didn't matter how he died.

It wasn’t a loss of life, persay- it was more of a transition. On to the next world, the new beyond.

The next world had started with a line. Hundreds of people waited in front of a single window. Surrounded by endless white walls and equally white floors, Billy had slowly made his way to the back.

Some people hugged their knees and sobbed. Some muttered and stared off into space. Some looked genuinely bored. One woman, a pretty brunette girl, had run up and down the line, frantically asking questions.

“Where am I?” She’d shrieked, hazel eyes wild with fear. “What happened?”

She had been met with shrugs and vacant stares. She was not the first, nor the last.

The line took ages. There was no way of telling time- it could’ve been a year or an hour. But when Billy had finally reached the window, he’d asked the question many screaming and terrified before him people had asked.

“Where am I?” He said to the woman behind the window, who had been busy typing something into an archaic computer system.

“You’re dead, honey.” She murmured, not looking up. “Billy Hargrove?” He’d nodded, not sure what else to do.

“Hand,” she’d instructed, holding out her own. Once he’d placed it in hers, she turned it over, palm facing down, and stamped the back.

It was a triangle, tiny and solid black. Billy’d looked back up to ask where he was, or where to go, or what was next, but the window was gone. So was the line when he turned around.

Instead, he was in a small room. White walls and a white bed stared back at him. A bookshelf sat in the corner. Next to it was a small, black desk with a lamp.

“Hello?” He’d asked to the walls. No one answered.

He’d found out later- hours later- that the door was unlocked. Outside, there was a single potted plant next to his door. He touched the leaves, breathing in the stale air. They were plastic.

Fluorescents reflected off of white walls as he walked down the hallway, searching for another soul.

There was a common room about fifty doors and three turns down from him. When he went out of the hallway on the other side, there was an identical hundred doors and common room. He sat down in a puffy chair, mind overwhelmed.

Emotion had left his body. He wanted to feel anything- scared, excited, nervous, lost, angry- but all he felt was empty. As empty as the rooms around him.

As time passed, he saw other faces. None he’d recognized. Initially, he’d hoped he would reunite with lost family members and friends, but it was quickly apparent that that would never happen. He would never find them.

He could talk, but no one was interested. Once you talked about your life and death, there was nothing really left to speak about but the uncertainty that plagued every soul in the place.

Where were they? What was next? Was this hell?

It wasn’t really hell as much as it was boredom. The bookshelf had every book you could ever want, and endless paper appeared on the desk. He tried to keep himself entertained, but the endless walls and fluorescents shot daggers into any creativity he could have mustered.

It turned out the bed wasn’t for sleeping- it was so he could lay down and stare at the perfectly white ceiling.

He did a lot of that. There was no food to eat, no shit to shit. He probably could have had sex, but finding other people was the last thing he wanted to do. He just wanted to be alone. To think about the life he could have lived. He just sat and stared, not knowing how or when or if time passed.

After re-reading a random book for the third time, Billy decided to try to kill himself. He wasn’t sure if it was possible, because he was already dead, but he could definitely try.

He’d begun to try to fashion a length of paper into a noose when fresh air caught his nose. It was bright, sweet, warm, and it danced into his brain, lighting up parts that hadn’t been touched since he’d died.

It was coming from under the door. Slowly, trying not to scare the hope away, he crept towards the door. The air was intoxicating- better than any vodka he could have bought when alive.

Emotions sprung to his chest for the first time since he’d gotten in line. Dry pine smoke and bird cries flew in on the air, bringing promises of a forest.

Was he hallucinating? Was it a dream? Had he finally killed himself? He touched the handle, fingers shaking. It was electrifying, the feelings that filled him. He felt alive again.

He opened the door to a forest, lit by softly flickering candles. Sobs echoed through the needles, carrying to his ears.

He saw his friends hugging one another. Saw Max silently sobbing into her hands, his Father staring drunkenly at the ground, and his Step-Mother, Susan, gently rubbing Max's back. Sitting on a table was a picture of him, smiling brightly with a surfboard at his side and an endless blue ocean behind him.

Billy had just walked into the anniversary of his death.

Being back in the real world filled him to the brim with long lost emotions.

Life danced within his eyes, as transparent as he was. He found out quickly that he couldn’t communicate or interact with anything- he could only watch.

And when he stared at his hands, he could see the fire-lit carpet of pine needles beneath him. He ached to speak to his mother (even though she wasn't to be found at the funeral...), to Max, to his friends, but even complete silence was better than the room.

Anything was better than the room, the four walls and the plastic plant guarding his door. Anything.

The worst thing in the world, even worse than the room, was having to return to it.

He felt the ground leave his feet as he was thrust back into the four walls, the life leaving his chest as quickly as it had come.

It felt like being socked in the stomach with the force of an entire lifetime. But worse, because he couldn’t cry about it. He couldn’t cry about anything.

Everything- the joy, sadness, nostalgia, content- left his body in a snap. He was left in the room again, with the hallway beyond the door.

He couldn’t even feel upset. He could just sit on the bed and wait.

He waited for another year, only living for the time that the forest would sneak in under his door.

Sometimes, he feared it would never come back, but there was nothing he could do. So he just waited. Re-reading books, walking the endless halls. There was something to look forwards to. He didn’t want to kill himself. He wanted to go back.

He continued going back for a decade, and then another. Slowly, the mourning of his death became smaller and less widespread as his parents died. His picture still existed in old family photos and friends’ diaries, but the memory of him slowly dropped existence.

Eventually, everyone he'd once known was death. Every year he went back it seemed another friend was gone.

Pictures kept getting lost or destroyed- thrown away by accident, or torn in broken picture frames.

Slowly, his descendants died, only to give way Max's great-great-grandson, Arthur, who had the last remaining picture of him.

It had been almost a hundred years since Billy had tried speaking with anyone connected to him. He’d never been able to find any of them within the long halls of the Place- but he seldom left his room, anyways.

The only time he stepped outside the door anymore was when he went back to earth, when he felt the grass beneath his feet and the sun in his hair.

Billy knew, from seeing his hallmates disappear, that when no pictures of him existed he’d never be allowed to go back to the real world. He’d also leave the Place, but no one knew what was in the Beyond.

Billy, when he could feel emotions, was terrified. The last picture of him sat in an ancient book of poetry, on a bookshelf in the attic of Arthur's house.

Max had kept the picture of Billy when he died, cried with it even when Billy had been gone fifty years. She had kept the book with her treasures, a ratty red book cover covered in dust. Almost no one had touched it since she'd died.

Arthur looked like Max. Skin full of freckles, head wild with red hair. The two even shared a similar smile.

Billy found himself following Arthur around when he could almost as much as he followed his own descendants, just to see how he lived his life.

Arthur was, unlike Max, incredibly forgetful. He’d leave his wallet on the counter or forget the dog was outside.

Watching Arthur was almost like watching his step-sister. Even though they were incredibly different, the two shared the same laugh and the same wit.

Then, one day, Arthur forgot to put out a candle when he went to bed.

He’d set them up for a date, but the boy he'd invited had stood him up.

Billy had wanted to comfort him, but he just sat on the couch and watched. After crying and eating almost an entire tub of ice cream, he’d blown out most of them and headed up to bed.

All except one.

One, hanging by the curtain, greedy flame licking at the fabric.

Billy stared at it. Watched as it grew, climbed up to the wall. There. It had to end there.

But it didn’t.

It grabbed the ceiling, expanding up and around the window. Billy glanced at the fire detector. Surely, it would go off?

It was silent. Another unlikely event. Billy was beginning to get nervous.

He tried to touch the fire, to stop it, but of course, his hands went straight through. He tried fanning the smoke to the detector. He grabbed for the phone, tried to shake Arthur awake.

Nothing was working.

Flames greedily ate up the living room and expanded to the upstairs, finally waking up Arthur.

Red hot pain suddenly lanced through his back, ripping a scream out of his mouth. He bucked as the pain forced its way into his mouth. It was similar to the pain he felt when that creature had impaled him.

His entire body felt like it was on fire, lines tracing and crossing over his skin. Billy arched his back, where the pain was concentrated, heat searing his skin. He screeched as if it would never end, because it felt like it never would.

It only got worse. His forehead erupted with slicing agony. Collapsing to the ground, he grabbed onto his blond curls as he screamed, wishing for death. But he was already dead? Dead twice? He was gone. Wishing it was over. Wishing he didn’t exist. Simply wishing.

As quickly as it had come, the pain left. He laid on the ground, softly gasping as his muscles unconstricted. Flinching at every sound, he waited for the agony to come back.

Minutes dripped by. It didn’t come back. He was sore, his body didn’t feel like his own. But he wasn’t being hurt.

Slowly, he stood. When he looked down at his hands, the black triangle had multiplied, spreading over his skin. His veins were black and pronounced over thick, corded muscle.

His tongue prodded his canine teeth, only to find they were long and sharp. Fangs. Billy had fangs. His fingers shook, fear pounding around his mind. He needed answers.

He tried to run his hands through his hair, but something stopped him. Big, bony horns curled out of his forehead. They were solid and sharp at the end, and he cut his finger as he ran it over.

A shard of glass on the floor caught his eye. He glanced at it slowly, scared at what he would see.

Dipping around the side of his back were wings, heavy and black. He reached back to feel them, wincing at the pain that started through his body. They felt leathery, cold.

Blood dripped to the floor from his cut finger.

By the door rested an iron pitchfork, tips covered in dried blood. He shuddered as he felt the very tips of his wings, now hyperaware, brush against the ground.

“Mr. Hargrove?” A voice called as the door creaked open.

Another demon, freakish and unworldly, stepped through the door. He was tall, powerful, with long black horns and a mane of thick, flowing hair.

A pencil rested behind his pointed ear, and he held a staff in his left hand.

Leaning against the stone wall, he looked Billy up and down.

“Where the fuck am I?” Billy asked, knowing full well what the answer was.

“Well, Mr. Hargrove,” the demon laughed, tapping a pencil against his equally pointy teeth.

“You’ve got a triangle on your hand. If you have a circle, you get to go up there,” he pointed to the ceiling, “and live in eternal peace.” He laughed, lip curling into a mocking snarl.

“Here, though, we are not brown nosers. We do not believe in total harmony. We wage war where we see fit, defend ourselves and those we love. We are honest about what we want. We have dignity, courage, and pride. “ The demon smiled, tossing his pitchfork to Billy. It glinted in the low light.

“Welcome to Hell.”

#billy hargrove #max mayfield #stranger things #halloween #demon #devil #angel #hell #heaven

12 notes · View notes

marisaaa · 4 years

Text

The story of us

Robron week day 7 - History (not the fic theme i cheated)

AO3 link here

Seb struggles with a relationship and Aaron gives him advice through his own experiences.

Seb was out on a date with his girlfriend. Emily, she was called. They’d met at school and had been dating for a few months now – it was their three-month anniversary. Seb had an idea to take her to the cricket pavilion, he made a picnic and they were going there for lunch.

Aaron and Robert were sat at the table in the kitchen, Robert was going over some haulage contracts and Aaron was scrolling through his phone when the door slammed.

They both turned towards the noise, glancing at each other briefly.

“Seb?” Aaron called, standing up from his chair and walking towards the door.

A red eyed and puffy Seb walked through the door, sniffing and wiping at his eyes. He was looking down at the floor, averting his eyes from his dad’s as he made his way over to the stairs.

“Hey, Seb.” Aaron rushed to grab his arm, “What happened?”

Seb pulled his arm free and sighed, still not making eye contact, “We broke up, that’s all.”

Robert put down the piece of paper he was holding, looking at Aaron who glanced back at him with sad eyes. “Oh, mate. I’m sorry.” He said gently.

Seb bit his lip and nodded his eyes, “It’s fine. It’s my fault anyway.”

“What do you mean its your fault?” Aaron asked, resting his hand onto Seb’s shoulder, “If you said anything, I’m sure she knows you didn’t mean it-”

“I told her I loved her.” Seb blurted out, finally looking between his dads.

Both Aaron and Robert’s mouths opened in shock, completely clueless on what to say.

Seb nodded and wiped at his eyes again, “I told her I loved her, and she couldn’t say it back.” He sucked in a harsh breath as he looked up the stairs. “I’m just- I’m going up to my room.”

He smiled sadly at the floor as he slowly made his way upstairs, quickening his pace as he got to the top and quickly closing his bedroom door.

Aaron let out a sigh and slowly wandered over to the table to sit opposite Robert. “Wow.” He breathed out, watching Robert nod and look upstairs.

“I can’t believe it.” He said quietly, “I didn’t think they were that serious.”

“Me neither,” Aaron admitted, “Do you think- what he said is the whole story?”

“What do you mean?” Robert quizzed, looking back at him, leaning his elbows on the table.

Aaron let out a breath and chewed on his lip, “I mean, do you think maybe she just- she stuttered or hesitated and he was- I don’t know, he was nervous and took it as denial.”

Robert looked like he was contemplating it before sighing and looking down at the contracts again, “I don’t know, but don’t push him. If he thinks we don’t believe him, we’ll never get anything out of him.”

“Gets that from you.” Aaron teased, laughing slightly when Robert pulled a face. “No, I think I know what to do.”

Seb was lying on his bed, his earbuds plugged in and a random song that he found on the family downloads playing. The blinds were shut, and his light was off. He tried to close his eyes and go to sleep, try to pretend that today hadn’t happened.

He tried not to look at the notifications popping up on his phone but the temptation was still there. He sneaked a look and saw the 5 missed calls and messages

Em: Seb please call me back, we need to talk.

Em: I need to explain myself, just please pick up.

He turned his phone over and shoved his head into the pillow. He was only sixteen. He knew his first love wasn’t going to be his last, he’d found that out from his dads and their own stories but actually living through it was a lot harder than he had expected.

A knock on his door kicked him out of his thoughts and he grunted into his pillow, wishing whoever it was could leave him to wallow. They knocked again though, and his room was suddenly filtered with light from the landing. He turned to face the open door to see Aaron stood there, a bowl in his hand.

“Your dad made- well burned popcorn if you want it.” He said gently, leaning against the doorframe.

Seb just shook his head and turned back around to face away from him. He didn’t leave, instead he just closed the door, turned a lamp on and sat down on the side of the bed.

“I don’t want to talk.” He murmured, bringing the duvet over his head.

He heard Aaron shuffle around and then something heavy was placed on his leg. “I don’t want you to talk, I want you to read.”

“What?” Seb asked, confused as he turned around in his duvet to sit up against the headboard. Aaron gestured towards the book that was now laying next to him on the bed. He picked it up. It was dark leather and had an elastic tie around the front to hold it closed. “What is this?”

Aaron took a deep breath in and unhooked the elastic band, opening the book. “It’s my diary.”

Seb scoffed, “You have a diary?”

“No. Not anymore.” Aaron quickly defended himself, “When I was younger. It helped, a lot. Before I had a counsellor, I would write all my messed up thoughts in that diary.”

Seb opened the front cover. He recognised the scrawl of his dad’s handwriting on the first page.

“December 4th 2014”

“Dad, I- why are you showing me this?” He stammered, closing the book and pushing it back over to Aaron.

“I thought you might like to see it from another point of view.” Aaron explained.

“What do you mean?”

“Read it.” Aaron told him as he pushed the diary back onto his lap and stood up, “You’ll understand what I mean.”

Aaron walked out the room slowly and quietly closed the door behind him, leaving Seb holding the diary on his lap.

It was weird. Seb felt weird, reading his dad’s diary. He knew that even though he was told to read it, he almost felt like he was doing something wrong.

His phone pinged again,

Em: I’m sorry, I really am. Please just text me or call me so we can talk. Whenever you’re ready.

He turned the phone off, pushing it off his bed so it landed with a thump on the carpet. He took a deep breath in and opened the book.

December 4th, 2014

I don’t know what’s going on. I want to scream it, I want to tell my mum, paddy, vic, anyone. I’m confused, I’m angry, I’m jealous. Why am I jealous? Because he’s with Chrissie?

Robert Sugden kissed me. He kissed me and then he came back for more. He’s hiding, though. He’s scared to admit what he really is.

Maybe I should just stay away from him.

Seb had heard this story a million times. How his dads were so in love with each other that they couldn’t keep away. How his dad didn’t regret the breaking up of his first marriage, as long as it meant he could be himself, with Aaron.

He skipped ahead a few pages, skim reading a few words every now and then. His writing was rather large on the page so he could get the gist of what each entry involved. Almost every page started with the word Robert.

March 26th 2015

Robert told me loved me. I know I’ve said it before, I know how I feel. It’s not just because I want him suffer. Ok, maybe I do, considering what he put me through. But I do love him. No matter how hard I try to tell myself I don’t, that he’s bad for me. I do. And I can’t get over the fact.

Seb groaned at the soppyness and skipped a bunch of pages. One page had scribbles and doodles around the outside, angry ones.

July 19th 2016

So, Robert’s moving in. I am happy, I’m excited. It’s a new beginning for the both of us and it makes our relationship seem more real.

It also means I don’t think I will have much time to write in here anymore. I guess that’s good. Finally, I have something in my life that’s steady, that’s constant. I love him, I really do. Sometimes I look at him and I can feel my heart multiply in size with the love that I feel.

I don’t tell him though. He does tell me and I know he means it but there’s this feeling in my stomach. The feeling that when I tell him, it’ll all be real. I’ll be transported out of this happy wonderland life that we’re living and get dumped in the real world.

Why am I scared?

Seb’s heart sunk. He knew that they loved eachother and he’d heard them tell eachother that loads of times. He couldn’t imagine it being that hard, especially not for them.

He turned the next page but it was blank. He turned another page and another until he found one with slightly neater handwriting this time, it seemed less – angry.

July 11th 2017

I guess we’re starting this up again, then? I’m surprised I even found it to be honest. I assumed it would have gotten lost in the move.

It’s crazy how time flies. Last time I wrote in here, we were moving into the pub. Now Robert’s having a baby.

He’s with Rebecca now. At a scan. My counsellor told me to write in here whenever I’m feeling down about it. I’m not upset anymore, she’s a constant reminder of what they did and it’s weighing me down, every time we see her, it’s right in my face.

I want him to understand that I’m okay with him having this baby. Sort of. I want to help him through this so we can face parenthood together. I love him, so I’ll love whatever is his.

Seb felt tears start to form in his eyes. He knew about their time apart before he was born. He knew what happened between his mum and his dad, what happened to Lawrence and Chrissie.

Seeing written evidence from that time made it real, made him realise how much his parents loved eachother, even when they didn’t communicate it properly.

As he turned over a few more pages, a printed photo fell out of the book.

It was the photo of them at Liv’s university graduation day. Her with the hat and the scroll, Aaron and Robert with their arms around her shoulders, and then himself. He was stood in a small suit, at seven years old, a big smile plastered on his face as he stood with his family.

He turned the photo around to see writing on the back.

Talk to her. We wouldn’t have gotten this far if we hadn’t.

Dad x

He waited on the bench outside the front door of the mill. He had the diary in his hands, resting on top of his bouncing knee.

He’d called Emily, he told her that they needed to talk and that they should meet here. He had also read some more of the diary. Parts where Aaron would write down all these feelings, but he never said them out loud, leading him to bottle things up and just make everything worse.

The crunch of gravel made him turn his head, his knee stopped bouncing.

“Hey.” Emily said gently, holding her hands together in front of her.

“Hey.” Seb returned quietly, pointing down to the space on the bench next to him.

Robert was making lasagne, banning Aaron from getting in the way of him in the kitchen, so Aaron was sat on the sofa. His knee was also bouncing nervously, knowing what Seb was doing outside – hoping that it would all work out.

“I can hear your heartbeat from here, Aaron.” Robert said, facing towards the countertop where he was placing the lasagne sheets into the dish.

“What if it goes wrong?” Aaron admitted, turning to face the kitchen, “What if he ends up getting his heart broken again?”

Robert turned to face him, “Then we’ll help him through it. Be here for him when he needs it. That’s all we can do.”

Aaron smiled and nodded but still felt anxious as he nervously bit at his nails.

The door opened as they were about to sit down to eat. Robert shot a glance at Aaron who looked back him nervously, dropping his fork.

“Hey, Seb.” He called as the boy walked in, “Yours is still in the dish if you want it.”

He had a massive smile on his face, sending relief through them both.

“Yeah I just need to go to the loo.” Seb answered him, but quickly swiped a piece of garlic bread off the table in front of them. He pulled the photo out from behind him, keeping the diary hidden. He slid it across the table towards Aaron.

“Thanks, Dad.” He said quietly and Aaron nodded, reaching out to take the photo. He slid it off the table and stood up, connecting it to the fridge using a magnet. “We talked, and she told me she loved me too. I surprised her when i said it earlier, then I ran off so…” he laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

Aaron smiled and looked at Robert knowingly, who narrowed his eyes. “Well I’m glad you made up.” He told him with a smile.

“Me too.” Seb answered as he walked backwards to the stairs, holding the diary behind him. As he slowly walked up the stairs, he turned around and made eye contact with Aaron who smiled and winked, before turning his attention back to his dinner.

#rw2020 #i completely forgot to post this earlier #robron fic #aaron dingle #robert sugden #seb white

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serrj215 · 4 years

Text

Moving on

This was it, almost everything else was packed away. Raven still couldn’t believe she was doing this. Her room was completely empty save for the bed, a few boxes and the nightstand. She kept looking around. This was her sanctuary, the place where she once felt the most comfortable, was now alien to her. Stripped of all her furniture, missing the familiar sights of her bookshelves and belongings the place felt cold and almost sterile, nothing left but blank walls and impressions in the carpet.

Yet it was time, this wasn't home anymore. Things had changed, and she had to change with them. Raven saw no point in procrastinating further. The last thing to pack was the nightstand. An empty box sat with her on the bed.

The first drawer was where the "nighttime supplies" were kept. For some reason Beast Boy always felt more comfortable using terms like that. There was nothing too unusual. There were few scented T-lights candles for when they wanted to set a mood. She remembered nights when the room was alive with their flicker. There was some oil that warmed when rubbed into the skin and half a box of condoms, a left over from before she went on the pill.

The memories of their first time rushed in, the awkward fumbling, all passion and no skill, and Beast Boy asking her "Are you ok?" and "how do you feel?" at least a dozen times during the whole thing. But despite them both being in uncharted waters, and their blood running hot, he was so gentle with her. Like she was made of glass. Afterward he held her like he was afraid that she would disappear into the air like smoke.

There were also the fur-lined handcuffs. They were a stupid almost gag gift. They were cheap plastic, and between both their abilities they really had no ability to restrain them. Still it was enjoyable to pretend to take or surrender control. Raven quickly threw them in the box before the memory of the first time they tried that rose to the surface. The box would never get filled if she started to remember all that green skin exposed and open to her every whim.

The second drawer was more personal, sentimental. There was the photo album Beast boy gave to her for their first Anniversary. It was dark blue plastic that flipped open showing a few pictures a page. He wanted photographic proof that She actually enjoyed spending time with him. He understood that Raven didn’t enjoy digital photos as much. Raven disliked the idea that if she wanted to relive a memory she would need something with a battery. It was the same thing with her books, as much as an e-reader made sense she liked feeling the weight of knowledge in her hands, and the texture of paper, and not having to hunt for a charging cord.

She fought down nostalgia and put the photo album in the box. Even without opening it the images surfaced in her mind. The pictures from the beach trip where they took a picture right at sunset. The time they went camping in Colorado where it rained the whole time. All the times they "borrowed" the T-Car to go stargazing at the national forest. There must have been a dozen pics of just her driving with the stars being seen through the window. It seemed like every time they went out on there own Beast Boy had his phone in his hand to take a picture.

Then there was the collection. In a small box there was the most random scraps of paper one could encounter. Envelopes, receipts, napkins each one covered with barely legible handwriting. For month's before Raven and Beast Boy had gotten together he had gotten into an odd habit of writing her notes. All the feelings, and all the things he couldn’t say to her face, every desire explicit and innocent was there. Of course Beast boy would try to get rid of the notes as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t be found out. Also of course it was up to Raven to retrieve them. They were just enough, just enough to let her get used to being loved.

The drawers were empty, it was over. This wasn't Raven's room anymore. The thought sent a wave of cold though her body.

"Hey Mama! I got eggrolls!" Beast Boy said proudly holding up the bag of Chinese takeout as he entered the room. "and I called the moving company the truck will be here at 10."

Raven just looked at him standing there next to the stacks of boxes. Her face was sullen, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

Beast Boy could almost smell something was wrong. "Rae, you okay?"

She said nothing and just walked over and fiercely hugged him nearly knocking him over.

"Wow, if I knew you liked Chinese that much I would have ordered it more often" He said trying to keep himself and the bag of food in balance. "What's wrong love?" His free arm wrapped around her.

"This is just" she squeezed a little tighter

"Big?"

"Yes."

"You say the word, I will open these boxes and start putting your stuff bac-"

"No!" Raven said sternly. She raised her head from his shoulder. "Cyborg is going to need the space for the new recruits."

"Cyborg would make them sleep in bunk beds on the roof, if you asked to keep this room."

A small smile broke across Raven's face. "We are moving in together." She stated for both Beast Boy and herself. "It's time to move on."

"You know we're just moving across town, not Bucharest right?"

"I am aware."

He kissed her forehead. "We will be back here a lot, Cyborg is going to need help keeping the kids in line."

"He-" That’s when Raven's stomach made a very audible growl. She had spent the whole day packing neglecting lunch and her regular breakfast of hot tea and toast only took her so far.

"Let sit down and eat, before your honey garlic chicken gets cold? And you stomach decides to attack us"

Raven nodded and they walked to the kitchen holding hands.

The only constant in the universe is change. Raven knew that this was not going to be the last time they moved, not the last time she would have to say goodbye to a home, friends, family. But she knew just as strongly that this green, pointed ear, messy haired boy would be there. To love her, care for her, and to make up crazy stuff when he opens fortune cookies.

"The microfilm is hidden in the fried rice!" He said holding the slip of paper.

All to make her smile. Home is where the heart is they say. Her home was with him.

Well this one has been sitting in my draft folder for 3 1/2 years. Summer of 2016. Been tinkering with my old stuff lately and trying to get it out there. Have half a mind to just put everything I got out there and see if you all can do anything with the scraps.

I tied this story in with another called Notes https://serrj215.tumblr.com/post/156974770179/notes and its sequel Caught https://serrj215.tumblr.com/post/158499596174/caught If that collection that Raven had rings any bells.

#bbrae #bbrae fanfiction #serrj215 original

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jarienn972 · 5 years

Text

A Simple Spell - Chapter Two

A Captain Swan Supernatural Summer Tale

Tonight, I’m bringing you Chapter Two of my @cssns story. This chapter is a brief flashback to Emma’s actions that will set the rest of the actions into play and I’m going to preface it with a quick disclaimer that the witchcraft portrayed in this story is entirely fictional and is not intended to be an accurate portrayal of Wiccan practices. I've adapted the depiction of magic and spells strictly to fit this narrative. Also, please forgive me if the Latin phrases presented are a little off. I tried my best to ensure the correct translation of the phrases in the spell presented but I'm a little rusty.

Again, I have to give a huge amount of thank yous to the creators of this event for allowing me to stretch my creativity and to my beta, @lassluna for helping me keep this all flowing correctly! Last, but not least, thank you to @cocohook38 for her incredible artwork!

I hope you enjoy Chapter Two!

Also on AO3 and FF.net Chapter One

The Previous Evening

Emma had, from her first visit with the Mills sisters, found it a tad morbid that their coven gatherings were held in a vault deep beneath the crypt of their parents' mausoleum. She could still recall Regina leading her down this path through the fog-obscured graveyard - when it appeared as though Emma was about to be on the receiving end of a very bad practical joke. She'd kept a tight grip on her service weapon as she'd followed the mayor down a carved stone stairway until they reached the faintly illuminated room hidden below.

After several months of meetings here, visiting for various lessons or to simply bear witness the Wiccan rituals, Emma was growing accustomed to the eerie surroundings. There was always a hint of unease in the pit of her stomach when she descended below the land of the dead but it just didn't nauseate her as much now as it used to.

Tonight, she'd trekked through the cemetery after work, running just a little late for the 8pm conjuring practice session that Zelena had planned. Emma was heading into the night a little half-heartedly after nagging memories plagued her all day. Memories that continued to haunt her as she descended deeper into the earth. Sure, making a ball of flames appear out of the palm of your hand was cool and all, but it truly wasn't where Emma's thoughts lay tonight.

She allowed herself to slink down the steps, hoping she'd arrived unnoticed, but as she turned the corner at the vault's entrance, she was met by Regina's disdainful glare.

"You're late, Miss Swan," was the greeting that spewed from the Mayor's tongue.

"Sorry," Emma stammered. "I had some paperwork to finish up before I could leave the office but I got here as quickly as I could." It was mostly a lie, but Regina didn't need to know that she'd actually been contemplating not even showing up tonight.

"Well, we were just about to don our robes. Hurry up and join us in the circle," Regina instructed as she thrust a jet black, hooded brocade robe into Emma's hands. The student accepted the garment from her instructor with a nod of thanks while quickly shedding her crimson leather jacket. She tossed her jacket haphazardly over a wooden armchair as she tugged the robe over her shoulders before proceeding into the main chamber. She was immediately reminded how claustrophobic the vault could be when their entire coven was present.

Theirs was currently a coven of five. As Emma saw it, there was one member for each point of the pentacle inlaid within the marble circle that adorned the vault's floor. The Mills sisters were, by far, the most active and the most powerful practitioners of the group, but they were joined by Ruby Lucas, the waitress at Granny's diner - whom Emma suspected might have a few other hidden powers, and Ingrid, an older witch of the prior generation whose methods and ideals quite often clashed with the Mills sisters. Ingrid was the last remaining member of the original coven, having practiced alongside Regina and Zelena's late mother, Cora, but that was all Emma knew. No one really talked about the old guard much, but Emma knew they'd been a formidable group of sorceresses.

Emma made her way into formation as Regina's flame-haired older sister, Zelena, lit the candles positioned within the circle with a mere flick of the ebony wand clutched in her hand. Emma found some of the rituals a bit unnerving, but like being twenty feet beneath a tomb, she was growing used to the feeling. Her mind was just wandering a bit more tonight than normal.

Today had been an auspicious anniversary for her and the only reason she'd even made the decision to come was that she absolutely didn't want to be sitting around the loft with her overly-positive sister-in-law. She'd decided that a coven gathering in the crypt was preferable to drowning her sorrows down at the Rabbit Hole - and a lot less expensive. Plus, the vault gave her access to collections of books and scrolls that might help her find something useful should she be given permission to search them. She just needed something to keep herself distracted for a little while. Something to prevent her from falling back into any of her old, desolate traps - because tonight was the anniversary of the day she'd had her heart crushed into a million pieces - a story she'd not yet shared with anyone here in Storybrooke.

That heartbreak had become the catalyst that really kicked off her quest to discover her family and the history her mother had hidden from her. She'd believed that solving her own personal mysteries would be the best way to heal after being abandoned by the man she'd thought she'd loved - the man she'd given her heart and soul to. When things had gotten too difficult, he'd bolted, never even saying goodbye and even after a decade, it still stung. His betrayal hurt as deeply as losing her beloved mother only months before he'd run away - and as bitterly as the miscarriage she'd suffered alone. All combined together in such a short amount of time had left her feeling utterly alone. She was now striving to push beyond those losses, determined to reconnect with the family she still had, and then maybe, just maybe, she could find someone to help mend her broken heart. And if magic could help her fill those voids, she was determined to try.

But at this moment in time, she knew she was simply going through the motions as she recited her ritual incantations and completed the mundane tasks asked of her. It wasn't hard for anyone else to see her lack of conviction either. Her heart simply wasn't in it, and as her lackluster attitude caught Zelena's attention, her mentor decided to cut the evening's lessons short rather than keep going with an inattentive student.

"How about we pick things up again on Friday?" Emma heard Zelena ask as the redhead brushed back her hood. Emma heard what she was saying but didn't completely comprehend the words.

"Huh?" Emma replied, startled by the query that pulled her back from her reminiscing.

"I was asking if we should pick this up again on Friday," Zelena repeated with a hint of irritation in her voice. "Weren't you listening to anything I said tonight?"

"Sorry… I'm a little distracted tonight and I guess I'm not feeling particularly well…," Emma fibbed in a feeble attempt to cover her obvious disconnect.

"Why don't you head home and get some rest then?" Regina suggested. "Friday's full moon will allow us to try out some new spells too."

"Actually, if you don't mind, Regina, I'd like to take a look through some of the potion books to see if I can locate a remedy for this lingering tiredness I've been experiencing. Would you mind?"

Regina thought about the idea for a moment, but granted permission. "Just stick to the newer potion books on the shelf under the mirror. Most of those ones are either already written in English or have already been translated from the original text. Most of the older books are written in Latin, Greek, Elvish - you get the idea? Your study of ancient languages hasn't advanced enough for proper translation yet so stick to the ones you can read, okay? Oh, and lock up when you leave."

"I can do that," Emma smiled graciously. "And I promise I won't stay too long, and I'll be sure to clean up and lock everything away."

"See that you do, Miss Swan," Regina stated as she undid the clasp on her robe and allowed the garment to slide off of her shoulders. She draped the robe over her forearm as she gathered her belongings from the desktop beside her apothecary cabinet. "Have a good evening, Deputy."

"Good night, your Highness," Emma quipped as Regina ascended the stairway towards the crypt above. Zelena smirked at the nickname as she followed her sister out of the vault and soon, both Ruby and Ingrid made their exit as well, leaving Emma alone in the creepy confines.

Hearing only the tap of her own footsteps echoing off of the slate floor, Emma made her way over to the towering shelves, teeming with an expansive collection of books ranging from spellbooks to recipe books to a weathered, and likely very dated, set of encyclopedias. She quickly figured out the filing system that Regina utilized and began scanning for a specific volume. Her eyes darted back and forth across the third shelf up from the bottom trying to find a book that Zelena had shown her a few weeks earlier when they'd practiced a few basic potions. She remembered looking at a sleeping potion, a memory potion and even one that was rumored to improve the mood of even the crankiest Storybrooke resident, but Emma wasn't actually interested in potions right now.

While Zelena had been busy preparing the ingredients for one of the potions, Emma had flipped through a few of the yellowed vellum pages, glancing over random potion recipes and spells handwritten in flowing Latin. She was still learning the basics of the language, understanding a few words and phrases that appeared frequently. Words that were unfamiliar were easily translated with an app on her iPhone, although she did know that just having the translation of the words didn't always help as figuring out the grammar could be awkward. She was determined to try anyway.

She located the correct, ornately decorated spine and carefully lifted the gilded book from the shelf, carrying it to the podium the Mills sisters had installed in the center of the vault, directly beneath the chandelier - one of the few nods to modern conveniences down here (although Emma had yet to figure out exactly where the electricity came from as there were no visible power lines around the mausoleum). She took extreme care in opening the cover, turning the pages gently as she sought the specific spell she'd seen before.

Nervousness began to overcome her, causing her to repeatedly glance back toward the stairs as she flipped through the ancient pages. She feared that someone might return to interrupt her and discover that she was perusing books that weren't in the officially-approved collections. She was taking a huge risk that could destroy the trust she'd built within the coven but right now, she had a singular focus.

It took a few minutes in the dimly lit vault to locate the spell she wanted but once she did, she picked up the crystal candlestick with its nearly fully melted ruby red taper from atop the desk and brought it closer to the podium to get a better view as her fingertip dusted across the flowing script. Her excitement and anxiety both increased exponentially as she stared at the spell she hoped might change her life.

Her brain immediately began translating the Latin text, beginning with the instructions preceding the spell itself. Succensa - set alight. Sapiens - sage. Roris marini - rosemary. She recognized the herbs and knew she needed to light them on fire as the smoke from burning them would cleanse the air prior to her reciting the incantation. She retrieved sprigs of both herbs from the apothecary cabinet and dropped them into a charred marble bowl then ignited them with the flame from the candle.

As the fragrant herbs burned, filling the small, subterranean room with their aroma, Emma continued translating the remaining text as well as she could. Verus amor - true love. That was her goal - to find her own true love and fill the void within her heart that she'd struggled with for so many years. Since the moment she'd stumbled across this spell, she'd been determined to cast it when the time was right. She had to. Why else would she have been gifted with these supernatural abilities if it wasn't meant to bring her some semblance of happiness? She wanted the type of love that her brother shared with Mary Margaret - that close companionship that just wasn't going to be found in friendship or familial relationships. She just wanted to be loved and have someone to love in return.

Alone in the vault, she began to recite the Latin phrases from the page.

Verus amor occurant - encounter true love.

Verus amor reveles - discover true love.

Those phrases she translated easily, but there were others she wasn't as certain of.

Verus amor agnocis. She didn't know what agnocis meant, but in the context of the words she understood, it had to be another part of finding true love, which led into the last phrase - Confirmare verus amor - confirm true love.

Once completed, she sealed the spell by pricking the tip of her finger with a needle and allowing three minute drops of her blood to fall atop the smoldering herbs. One for her, one for the love she sought and the third to unite them. Now, all she had to do was wait to see if it all worked - and get everything cleaned up, put away and locked up before anyone became suspicious.

#cssns #captain swan supernatural summer #cs ff au #cs ff #cs au ff #witch emma #a simple spell

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god-hunter · 4 years

Text

Everything Has Changed

Remember when I said, “What the Fuck am I doing?” Remember how I said that was a rant for another day??

Well so much went down between weekends that now it’s just “What the Fuck happened?”

After 5 Years of dating, my girlfriend and I broke up!

4 days before her birthday too... Ouch.

This was a long time and coming. It was a conversation that really needed to happen. And neither of us expected it to go down the way it did. But we were both really unhappy. And neither of us really understood why.

But the more we talked and agreed about what isn’t working... The more we both agreed that this doesn’t make sense anymore. And then we just started to realize what was happening. What made the most logical sense...

I gotta get the fuck outta here.

So maybe, I should back up. To the outsider, everything will be out of context. But I’ll try to give solid highlights of the relationship, to show all the red flags that we ignored.

* During our flirt-ship, non-dating phase she told me that she was Bi while we had drinks. Immediately I thought, “Oh man... I’ve done this before. That’s gonna suck.” I must’ve said something like that in a funny way, because she reassured me not to worry. She’s a boring one. She just likes seeing naked women.

* Right before our 1st date, I unknowingly trolled this girl on Facebook for being bitchy to our mutual friend. I didn’t know it was her! I forgot the topic, but her and I completely disagreed. And with the identity completely out of my mind, my unfiltered response pissed her off. So it was on our 1st date that we even had a talk about our differences regarding the topic, whatever that was. I recall being very surprised that it was her. I had no idea. But we both explained ourselves and took it as an opportunity to tell our personal stories, which made us meet in the middle.

* On the 2nd date, we made out and it was go time. It was going to happen. I didn’t bring condoms because I had no idea where it was gonna go yet. She had some, and it was very clear. Tonight I was gonna fuck a fat chick. [This isn’t about that.]. I recall being very tentative and not being sure if I wanted it to happen at all. But she was so into me and everything I was doing, and bit by bit it felt really good. And right.

* Our 3rd date was at a Wedding, honestly the day after our 2nd date. Everything just worked out at the last minute and I was able to change my Plus1. [The original Plus1 cancelled on me and was very upset that she couldn’t make it. But it all worked out.]. Outside of all the fun dancing and introducing her to all of my friends, we talked about stuff we want in life. She said she doesn’t want kids, and I knew that I did. I wanted a son. But I didn’t want to fight about it or blow up a good thing. We were both like, “Alright. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

* After it became official we went on a random date where we weren’t sure what was on the radio at a pizza place. And we were starting to borderline argue whether it was a cover or not. To the point where I said, “Relax, it’s okay.” And that threw her off. I had said a trigger word. She always hated that word as a Hardcore Feminist.

* At another date, we got into the whole “Relax” argument again and how I need to curb that word out of my vocabulary and say something different. Or just... not feel like I have to tell her to calm down when she’s acting all irate over seemingly nothing. But meanwhile, anytime I got too anxious about traffic or upset about things, she could always tell me to calm down, right? I remember telling her right then that this isn’t gonna work if I can’t be myself.

* Broader strokes now. There was an incident at Ikea over getting a piece of furniture for my room that she wanted to change, because she was visiting all the time and she just wanted to make it nicer. Put her touch on things, I guess. Well, I didn’t really want to by this shelf/cubby thing, but I looked at it anyway, and in the end when I didn’t want to buy it she got really upset with me, and even walked away. This in turn, spiked my anger up and the two of us fed off of each other’s negativity. She was being stubborn and not listening to me or dropping it. Instead I flew off the handle and caused a scene. I knocked her dinner plate over for being a bitch and just left. This was awful, and I thought we were gonna break up right then. That night we had a plan to go to a Comedy Show, and somehow it still happened. The plan changed to “Meet me at the show, then we’re gonna have a talk at my house.”

* The talk was about my anger and how it’s unhealthy. How I need to change because that is never happening again. I’ll admit. Yes, in this instance it was really bad. But also, she crossed a boundary and upset me about borderline forcing me into something I wasn’t comfortable with. I stood up for myself. Then I just fed off of her bitchiness and it was no good. ...Outside of that incident, the new thing was just, “Let’s do Meditation. That’s what we need to do. All the time.” And I hated it. I don’t believe in it. Sure, it can be relaxing after a hard day. But the whole zen closing your eyes and emptying your mind thing, just isn’t for me. I’d rather talk and walk it out than sit and focus on letting go. Yes, it has it’s place. But Meditation time, just felt like a waste of time to me.

* Then I noticed her anger. Whenever I would go over to her place, she really hated her living space. We used to love watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. together, but during a particularly bad season, she would just yell at the TV or be unpleasant in my space, when I was setting out time for her. We almost got into fights about it, but not really. Not to mention there was a whole issue of dealing with her cat pissing all over her furniture, and even the new couch I bought for her...

* On our 1 year Anniversary, we made out so hard during sex, that I kissed her in a way that she didn’t like. With too much tongue. Meanwhile, that’s my favorite kind of kissing. I used to kiss like that all the time in previous relationships and my partners have loved it. This time, however though, she turned it into a joke and went, “bluah bluah bluah” with her tongue out and tried to laugh at me. Immediately I was turned off and we weren’t doing this that night. We made up the next day, but since Year 1, I knew that I couldn’t kiss this Woman the way I truly wanted to. That was a big red flag, but Iwas still willing to make this work.

* Somewhere into the 2 years was when we definitely experienced the pitfalls with the anger issues stirring up between both of us. But this also brought forth the idea of her needing to get the fuck out of her house. When I wasn’t ready. Eventually I felt more ready, but I remember her asking me stuff about this at like, 3 months and then 6 months. So... Yeah. We were either at the 1 or 2 year point where we were both finally Looking. Still, the arguments would pervade over where. I didn’t want to move too far South, and she didn’t want to move too far into North.

* Around this time, my Sleep Apnea was also too much for her to bear, and she insisted/downright demanded I get a sleep study to figure my shit out. Because I wasn’t breathing for like 30 seconds in my sleep. And I was definitely falling asleep at work all the time. Forever attached to a C-Pap Machine in bed now, I definitely felt the spontaneity of the romance dwindle.

* Also... side-note. Sex became very clinical with her. She used to get so wet just at the thought of me, or from a simple touch. In the beginning, I used to be able to wake her up, and she’d be interested in getting a quickie in before I leave or go to work. Eventually, she didn’t want to be woken up for sex, but rather for it to happen after she woke up. That’s fine... But also, she got on birth control, just to make it easier for both of us, but whatever she was taking dried her the fuck out. So now it was all about using lotion, which.. no matter what I did, wasn’t really hot. I could go further and further, but there were so many times where I did something and she’d be like, “Ouch! Gentle.. What are you doing??” And it was just... not great.

*At 3 years, we moved in to a place that would take us. That happened to be really far from a job that used to be 5 minutes from me. Now it was a 50 minute commute! Adjusting to live together was a strong contributing factor. SO many new arguments arose in our shared living space.

* I stepped it up and learned how to wash a dish/take out the trash on the regular. But the frequency of it all still wasn’t to her liking. Regardless, she was the better cook, so she took care of dinner more often at first. I cooked too, so we definitely took turns. But I’d say that at first, she cooked about 3 times a week and I cooked 2. By the end of the relationship, she wasn't cooking...

* It took a very long time for me to notice this, but eventually I discovered that she doesn’t shave her legs. Or her armpits... That’s very personal, but frankly... it grosses me out. I found this out at the WORST possible time, right before we were going to my best friend’s Engagement Party. STILL I worked it out and was willing to let it go, because we ain’t come this far. I’m not shallow and petty. I love this Woman. But I begged for a Compromise.

* That compromise came once, in the form of me trimming her underarms one night. And she hated it. It tickled, the process felt weird... and she just wanted to do that herself on her own time from now on. Well, that never happened.

* It’s almost needless to say that our sex life dwindled to once a month. And then barely that. I knew something was wrong.

* I definitely did me, more. I’d be on the computer, taking care of my needs, hobby wise or horny wise. (Thank you Tumblr). But we’d also have separate hang outs with our own friends. And separate vacations even.

Which basically brings us to where we were at year 4 and 5.

She stopped wanting to go Grocery Shopping with me. We’d go separately. I hated that. We could never agree on a day.

We weren’t really going on any dates, but I put in some extra effort recently. Doesn’t matter. She just doesn’t like spending time with me, it feels. She takes it for granted. Instead it’s all complaints about how tired she is. Or how much her feet hurt. Or how hungry she is. Great... conversation man.

And I got to the point where I was like, “I don’t want this for the rest of my life.” And frankly, she was really short with me. The moment I didn’t hear her, or understand something she said immediately, she’d get louder and be like, “I SAID THIS!!” Or I’d say something that she didn’t get, and she’d immediately spike up and be like, “WHAT?”

I felt like this became a relationship without respect.

And the craziest part is that when we brought this up to each other on Monday, she agreed and said the same thing. She felt that neither of us respected each other.

All of the above was mentioned, but I just need to put out 2 more things that cement the deal.

When I told her, “Why do you think I haven’t asked you to marry me yet? It’s because I’m not sure I wanna live like this for the rest of my life.” She responded with, “I was so afraid that this was gonna be the year that you propose to me and I say no to you.”

The last part that sealed the deal was that we both realized we were truly just friends. We’ve been living together, on the rocks for so long, that we don’t want to do anything together physically. We’ve been avoiding all the fights, and just trying to have fun with the stuff that we do like. We’ve just been watching our shows, and chilling with beers, food and in her case, weed. This absolutely turned into a plain old Friendship.

And once that was out in the air, I actually felt better.

The only thing that sucks now is figuring out what comes next.

There’s no question about it, I have to leave. I can’t afford this place by myself, and neither can she, but she can do better on her own than I could before getting a new roommate. She has more stake in this place. She always had. She’s got the cats.. She has the run of this place anyway. This was always for her.

She’s always been on me about getting a better job. That's something I still want to do for myself, but now I have to do better, if I want to fully be able to support myself independently at my own place.

So I’ve been doing 2 things - Applying to better jobs and looking at new places.

At first, it was really hard, man. But now I’m getting more excited about the change. It comes and goes in waves. But I can’t live here forever, especially not with her.

But here’s the best part. As we Are still friends, she’s not kicking me out. She’s letting me take my time to comfortably find a new place to live. She’s even helping me look for stuff. Financially we had a lot of things put together to get into this place, and likewise, she’s going to give me my half of everything when finally leaving this place. I’m getting half the security deposit back, my half of the joint account, then we’ll close it. She’s paying for my half of the bed...

She’s being really good about all of this. We’re business partners in this.

The love is still there, but it’s purely platonic at this point.

A final quote about the relationship is that she said, “I think we both expected each other to be different partners for one-another that neither could provide.”

Something along those lines. And it’s so true.

I want someone to go to shows with me. My Music! I want a Metal Girl. And a Gamer girl. Not just a girl that’s gonna be on her phone all the time and ignore you during TV time.

TV Shows have their place, but my next girl needs to have a fucking hobby that she’s passionate about, dude.

My Ex had crocheting, but she stopped doing it, once it became a job. She used to do commissions for friends, and it stopped being fun. Now she only does it when she’s making a gift for someone. Which is nice, but... outside of that, her only source of entertainment is the TV or her phone...

I dunno. None of that matters any more. I need to create a New Normal this year and there’ll probably be more rants about the process of doing that.

But in the mean time, I have one last little bit, which has also changed the entire playing field at work.

Remember how I was all down about Dancing Girl?

Well, none of that matters any more. She’s still gorgeous and way too young for me, but I noticed a significant change in her behavior since last Friday. Exactly what I was fearing.

She definitely hung around the other work friends more during break. On Tuesday when I shared the insane news about the break up, she like.. walked away and gave me zero eye contact. Instead she focussed on herself, taking selfies from her phone. Fucking Gen-Z...

Wednesday I didn’t show up to work. That’s it’s own story, but it doesn’t matter.

On Thursday when I was back, she talked to me a little bit and was wondering if there was still a chance that we could reconcile, and I was like, “No man. Her and I are done! We’re too different and there’s no going back, now.”

At first, during the week I was down because there was absolute silence on the phone. I didn’t bother texting her, she didn’t bother texting me. In the group chat, only one dude was texting me and on the day I didn’t come in, he was like, “Good to hear from you Dude.” I got emo and said, “Yeah, you’re the only one!” That was really dumb of me.

The reason why I didn’t go into work on Wednesday was because the night before I told 2 close friends about what happened. And they kept me up until 4 in the morning talking about everything!!!! I didn’t care. Nothing mattered now. But I had to call out and catch up on my sleep.

The rest of my day off was looking for jobs and places. Until 2 other co-workers reached out and saw me that night for drinks and apps. That was really awesome of them, and I really appreciated that.

Then on Thursday, I swear I heard Dancing Girl talk to someone else about how someone was hitting her up and saying stuff like, “I think about you all the time...” bla bla bla. I didn’t eavesdrop. But it made me wonder. Was this Muscle Dude from the other night??

On Friday, Valentines Day she was pissed during 2nd break. It was just the 2 of us for a moment, and she actually confided in me. She told me how pissed she was at her boyfriend for not wanting to go out on V-Day.

I was her ear and happy to provide any feedback or advice. But then when the others came, she immediately gravitated to them and side-vented to them. That was fine, I guess, but still, I felt a barrier.

Today, I broke that barrier. I gave up on No Contact, and just hit her up on FB, because it doesn’t matter any more. I hit a lot of people up on FB and informed more about the news. As I’m slowly coming to terms with my reality.

But yeah, I asked about her night. She asked about mine. We talked a short bit about the awkwardness of this transition, but then I asked her ‘the question of the hour’.

Tell me about your other man. What’s going on with that?

This, was the Friend move. Maybe she picked up on it, maybe she didn’t. But I think she definitely appreciated it, because she opened up to me. It felt like the way we were talking before 2/7.

I ended up finding out that she’s been talking to this guy for like a month, and she’ll just see where it goes.

So now I knew it wasn’t Muscle Dude from the club. And that made me feel immediately better.

I also know that any nice interactions we had since December don’t really matter, because this dude quickly came into her life and built up whatever chemistry that they have.

So maybe it was all in my head. And frankly, that’s a relief. I was already coming to terms with the idea that she doesn’t think of me that way. But now, I think I can fully accept the fact that I am her older friend that she feels comfortable with. Someone she can confide in.

And like I said in the other rant, that’s probably exactly what needed to happen.

So now the issues seem resolved with Dancing Girl, and my worries about My Girl are dissolved, because well... she’s not My Girl anymore!

I am NOT looking forward to getting back into the dating scene, but ya know what? Right now I don’t even have time for that. This year is about focussing on me, now.

New Developments are happening in 2020, way quicker and more abrupt than I’d anticipated. But it’s time to move on. For like, 3 years I’ve been struggling to be Happy. Even in the first 2 years of this relationship, it’s debatable about how “Happy” we were, when we were in the Honey Moon phase.

So let’s do this 2020! Let’s see what we get??

If you made it this far, I am ever-grateful for your time and company.

I hope you enjoyed this edition of the GodHunter rants.

#Everything Has Changed #Long-Term Relationships #Ending #Breaking Up #Moving #New Normal #Dancing Girl

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bewitchingwitch · 5 years

Text

Constellations pt. 8

Imagining Theseus with glasses gives me life

The songs for this chapter are Dream Lover by Dion and Slow Hands Niall Horan

Hey y’all this I my first fanfic and since I’ve been obsessed with Newt Scamander lately I decided to do a series about him depending on if this part gets good reviews

Word Count: 3457

The elevator dinged indicating that you had arrived at you destination. You were still wrapped in the arms of Theseus both of you reluctant to let go of each other. You noticed that he was gripping your arm a little too hard, like he was scared that at any moment you would disappear.

You let yourself lean into him closer and smell his fancy cologne yet again the smell enveloping you as the doors opened. And as they did an older couple stepped in as both of you made a move to step out.

"Look at that Edward, they look like such a sweet couple." The old lady cooed as she pointed at you too.

The old man that was with her smiled. "They remind me of us when we were young." The older man smiled at his wife with such loving devotion

"When we were young honey I'm still young." The couple laughed together as the doors closed. Theseus had been watching the couple, the scene squeezing his heart. He wanted that. He wanted to grow old with you and point at a young couple and reminisce with you.

"Come on." Your voice invaded his thoughts as you led him down the hall looking for your room number.

He had the keys and opened the door as you entered. The room was modest with a small window. There was a small closet and a bathroom. In the center of the room was a queen sized bed and across from it was a rickety old couch. Seated next to it was a rather large radio with a book of some sorts laying on top.

You made your way go sit on the bed slipping the mink off of your shoulders and moving it into your lap. "So it's still early do you wanna do something?"

Theseus took off his suit jacket and placed it in the closet making his way to stand near you. "We should probably stay here we're on a mission. Grindelwald's followers are supposed to be lurking around and they could show up any minute."

"Ooh so serious, such a good employee following the book." You teased as you let yourself fall back on to the bed.

Theseus chuckled and plopped down on the bed next to you. You both laid there starting at one another. Theseus licked his lips and you bit yours. And you felt yourself wanting to move closer to seal the gap. "Fine. But can we at least get something to eat I'm starving." You whined breaking the tension.

"Alright I'll go get something from downstairs and come back. Do you want anything in particular? " He asked.

You sat with your face scrunched up in concentration, Theseus thought it was adorable. "Not really whatever you want to get will be fine. Oh And could you get the luggage we left it in the car."

"Okay. So dinner and luggage. Don't go anywhere." He made a move to sit up.

"Yes sir." You gave him a salute in a serious voice. He just rolled his eyes at you.

Theseus made his way out of the room shutting the door behind him. He looked around the halls still suspicious watching for Grindlewald's followers. It didn't help that he didn't know what these people looked like.

He made his way to the elevator and pressed the button that would take him to the first floor. He didn't think that keeping his feelings out of the mission would be this hard.

All he was supposed to do was to pretend to be in a relationship with you and capture the bad guys. But he couldn't stop himself from falling even more in love with you every time you winked or playfully flirted with him playing the act.

The idea that this meant practically nothing to you was enough to make him cry. Little did he know that to you it wasn't completely an act, because as you sat up in the room all alone you couldn't get the eldest Scamander brother out of your mind. Wondering what it would be like if this wasn't all pretend.

He made his way to the little cafe that was located in the lobby. There was a small line but he didn't mind the wait it was still early. He made it to the front where a young girl was waiting to serve him.

She had on a blue apron and she looked at him as if he was the most fascinating thing that she had ever seen. "How may I help you sir?" She squeaked out.

"Hi I'll take two sandwiches and uh that should be it." He smiled effortless and the girl looked like she might faint from just how charming Theseus was. He never seemed to notice the effect he had on girls.

As he waited for the server to get his food his eyes wandered around the lobby and landed on the couple he saw earlier in the elevator. The couple seemed to notice him as they made their way closer to him.

"Hello young man I believe I saw your earlier with a girl around your arm."

"Hmm yes that was my girlfriend." Theseus responded to the woman.

"Ah where is she now?"

"She's up in our room she was tired so I told her I didn't mind coming down to fetch us a bite to eat."

"So caring and good looking. You're quite a catch. Your girl is lucky to have you." The women remarked as she placed a hand on Theseus forearm.

The old man chuckled. "Stop it Edith you're making me jealous."

The women hit her husbands chest playfully. "Oh Edward you know I only have eyes for you." He watched the couple interact and noticed how much the woman reminded him of you.

"So what are you and your husband here for?" Theseus asked politely.

"We're here for our 50 year anniversary." The man replied his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Theseus whistled in surprise. "Wow 50 years that's such a long time to be with someone."

"Not when you're with someone you love. When you really love the person you're with time is irreverent." The man kissed the woman's cheek as she giggled like a school girl.

"What are you and your girlfriend here for?" The couple asked, drifting the conversation towards him.

"We're here for our first getaway together."

"Ah I remember my first get away with Edith, I was so nervous that I was gonna mess up somehow. But somehow I didn't and we continued to grow closer. And at our wedding as she walked down the aisle I remember thinking that I never thought it would be possible to love someone as much as I loved her." The old women looked like she was going to cry from the sweet things her husband said about her.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Edith said as she kissed Edward. They pulled away and began to excuse themselves. "I'm sorry we've already taken too much of your time."

"Oh I don't mind I'm a sucker for a good love story." Theseus smiled sweetly.

"Nonetheless we best get going but we wish you a happy lifetime with that girl you seem to love so much. And who knows years later you may be talking to some random couple with that girl you're with after 50 years of marriage. Talking to a young man you just saw on the elevator about the same things we are now." They all laughed at the man's remark.

"That's the dream." Theseus winked.

"History does have a tendency of repeating itself." Edith smiled. The couple drifted away as the young girl came back with Theseus' food.

"Could I get you anything else? A drink, a dessert, my phone number, a salad..."

"What was that um third one?" Theseus asked awkwardly.

"Desert." Theseus knew that was not the third option in the list. But he decided to be the polite boy the old woman though he was.

"I'll take one slice of cheesecake." The girl boxed it and handed it over as Theseus made a quick getaway from the server who seemed to have a tad crush on him.

On his way up he noticed a cart carrying champagne. He grabbed the bottle and two glasses slipping them into his back pocket.

He got back to the room to see that you were perched on the arm of couch reading the old book that was on the radio. And he let himself watch you for a moment the way you sat crouched over as if your whole being was invested in the book. How you had tied your hair back but a few strands still framed your face. And the way you had hiked up your dress and it fell around you in elegant waves. Your dress reveled your legs which he had to stop himself from wandering up.

He cleared his throat announcing his presence but you jumped slightly at the interruption. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” Theseus closed the door and set the luggage down on the bed. “What are you reading?”

“Little women.”

“Hmm I’ve never heard of that book.”

“It’s a muggle book it’s beautifully written.” She smiled down at the cover, while Theseus smiled at you.

You noticed he had brought champagne as he placed the bottle on the radio. He slipped the glasses out of his back pocket and twirled them round in this hand before placing them down. “Ta-da!” You giggled as he popped the cork and poured the glasses. Your heart swelled at the smooth action.

“Well then read it to me.”

“What?” You we’re taken aback by his request.

“Read it to me.” He made his way to sit on the couch where you were perched on the arm of it. The couch was old and it sunk down under his weight.

He handed you a glass and you took it savoring the taste before placing it down. “Well alright.” He wrapped his arm around your waist he took a small sip of the drink in his hand and then laid his head on your hip as you began to read. You were blushing at the simple gesture. “I’ve loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. What would be more reasonable than to marry you...” as you read Theseus listened intently rubbing his hand up and down your hip. And as you both sat in each other’s presence listening to you read you both noticed the feeling of content that settled into your chest.

********************************************

You were both sitting on the bed across from each other laughing as you ate your dinner. You had slipped into a purple nightgown. You had been dying to get out of that tight dress the Minister has shoved you into. Theseus was still in his suit but he had rolled back the sleeves. It was only eight but you were both riding out the high of the champagne. Giggling as you talked endlessly.

“I swear to Merlin the sever girl at the cafe had a crush on me.” Theseus took a big bite out of his sandwich and you noticed that a dab of mustard stained above his lip. You resisted the urge to wipe it off of his face.

“Well how couldn’t she you’re Mr. Theseus Scamander the heartthrob of the Ministry.” You said mocking him as you sat up straighter.

“Pfft.”

“What are you pfft-ing at Scamander you are that’s all I heard the day I was at the Ministry.”

“No way.” He rolled his eyes.

“Yes way. All the girls are dying to get into your pants my beloved.” His ears turned red at your words. “So tell me how are you still single Mr. Scamander?” You leaned in close wiping the mustard from his lip.

He smiled at the action. “I don’t know I guess I haven’t found the right girl.”

“Oh that’s hogwash.” You snorted.

“It’s not!”

“Mhmmm.”

“Enough of this we should be focusing on the mission.” He pushed himself off he bed and made his way to there the luggage sat. He rooted through it and pulled a folder out of it. He then sat on the edge of the bed and began rifling through them.

“Ugh. You’re all work no play Theseus.” You complained a you finished off the last of your sandwich.

“Of course I am, how did you phrase it earlier? A posh employ with a stick up his arse.” He smirked at you over his shoulder.

“I did not call you that! I simply said that you were a good employee who followed the book.” You defended. Theseus chuckled at your words.

You crawled over to him and drooped your arms around him leaning your head into his shoulder. He stiffened at your touch. “I do love you Theseus but you need to learn to be more flexible. To let loose.” You whispered your breath ticking his ear as he felt a shiver go down his spine. You kissed the spot behind his ear lobe before you got up from the bed and made your way to the bathroom.

“I know how to let loose.” He looked almost hurt at your words.

“Of course you do.” Sarcasm dripped off your words. You closed the door behind you.

“Hmph I no how to let loose. I’m the most flexible person I know. But then again most of the people I know are old farts.” Theseus mumbled to himself before shaking his head turning his attention back to the paperwork. He slipped his glasses out of his coat pocket and ran over the instructions that the Minister had given him.

According to the paper all you guys were supposed to do was to stay here a night, be on the look out for Grindelwald’s followers and that was it. No investigation. No nothing. It seemed more like a couple getaway instead a mission it was a little suspicious.

“You wear glasses?” Theseus looked up in surprise you had come out of the bathroom and your hair was wet he assumed that you had taken a shower. Your nightgown was hugging your body.

“I um..”

“You wear glasses.” You made your way over to him.

“I know their ugly and I-“

“You look cute.”

“What?”

“You look cute you should wear them more often.” You stood in the opening between his legs and placed your hands on the sides of his face. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to be better looking than you already were.” You readjusted his glasses and moved away making your way to sit on the edge of the bed.

He loved and hated that about you. How effortlessly you complemented him not thinking anything of it. Not noticing the effect you had on him, you had him wrapped around your finger but you didn’t have a clue.

But yet you did. Your flirting wasn’t meaningless you did have feelings for him. That was how you showed affection through constant praise hoping that they would catch on.

You were sitting criss cross, and he could see your underwear he quickly turned away before you could see his face turn beet red. “I think we should be turning in now.” He placed the folder on top of the radio and shrugged off his vest, tossing it aside. Before he began working the burtons on his undershirt. “I can sleep on the couch if you want.”

“Why ever would you do that.”He tired to face you He was only half way done unbuttoning his shirt. You saw his toned chest peaking out from underneath.

“Because it’s the gentleman thing to do to give you the bed.”

“Why don’t we just sleep together?” Theseus nearly choked. “I-I didn’t mean it like that.” You sputtered our turning red at your own words. “It’s just that couch is old and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I don’t mind.”

"Theseus." You said with a warning in your voice. "It's okay I really don't mind."

He looked reluctant but agreed. "I'll join you after I have a quick shower. " You nodded in response and snuggled into the comforter, pulling it over your body.

Not to long after Theseus came out of the shower his hair still wet wearing nothing but his boxers. He was drying his hair with a blue towel. You had been sitting in bed reading the end of little women and you felt yourself gulp.

He looked good like insanely good. He was quite fit and his skin was smooth sprinkled with light freckles. Unlike Newt who was covered in scars and completed dotted in freckles something you adored about the shy magician. Theseus had a little muffin top something you had always found adorable on guys.

"You sleep in your boxers?" You blurted out.

He looked down at himself before back at you. "Oh yeah sorry 'bout that. This is how I usually sleep. If it bothers you I can put some joggers on."

"No no. If that's how you usually sleep that fine." You assured as he moved over to get under the covers. You laid face to face sand you made move to touch his hair. It was all messy and curly running wild. "You're hair looks nice without all that gel in it." He just watched you through half lided eyes as you ran your hand through his untamed curls.

"You look so at peace when you let yourself relax." He opened his eyes clearly to look at you. Your skin was a faintish blue in the pale moonlight. "So at ease."

"You make me at ease." He let himself melt into your touch, loving the way you ran your fingers through his loose hair.

"How come you don't let yourself relax more often my beloved."

He hummed at the nickname you had given him. "I'm so used to shoulder everything. Growing up I always looked after Newt so he could relax without anyone ever hurting him. I felt like I could never let my guard down. Like I could never relax."

His response was so sweet yet so sad. He deserved to be able to let loose too, he shouldn't always have to carry the world on his shoulder. You moved your hand down to his shoulder and ran your fingers over the curve of his shoulder blade in slow circles. "It's okay you don't have to bear it alone. You deserve to be able to relax too Theseus. You do so much for everyone without a second thought. It's okay to relax and to let go." You kissed the freckles on his shoulder.

He looked down at you before lightly grabbing your chin and moving your face up so it was even with his. He leaned in and kissed you with so much passion you couldn't help but kiss him back. Your lips moved together as one. You tangled your fingers in his hair as he pulled you close by your waist giving your ass a quick squeeze which made you open your mouth in surprise, letting his tongue slip in your mouth.

There was no need for words kissing you said enough. You liked him and he liked you. But the problem was that another held a piece of your heart too. And as you kissed his brother you felt guilty like you were betraying Newt. But you couldn't help yourself you liked Theseus, even though you liked Newt.

You didn't know how long you had been kissing but once you pulled away you were both gasping for breath. Your lips were swollen. You buried your face in his chest listening to his rapid heart beat. He kissed the top of your head his heart filled with joy and bliss.

As you listened to his heart you found yourself drifting to sleep in the comfort of Theseus' arms. And as you drifted into this blissful sleep you could have sworn you heard him say something. But you dismissed it as a dream.

He had said something but unknowingly. As sleep claimed him as well he couldn't stop himself from admitting he liked you and as you slept together in the hotel there was another across the city who was still awake.

A certain Hufflepuff who couldn't seem to sleep, because he felt like something was off. Like something had just happened that would cause more problems then anyone could have predicted.

I know I've been focusing on Theseus lately but don't worry Newt will be appearing next chapter. The story is just beginning not all hope is lost my darlings.

Taglist: @hearteyesmotherclucker @c8h10n4o2-geek @martarosado17 @nanajaeminniee @moisoverennyi-thestarlessone @profangirllex @gaenahelleborus @melodramaticmelon2118 @michellekstr @nctyong-xo @preppy-by-the-c @sweetlyshinylady @emo-plaidin @dreacantsleep @theetherealbloom @lily2089 @mywckdmind @barbarachern @imbiandiwanttocry @ollyoxenfrees @newtslatte @pettylady @februarycalum @justanotherenglisheducationmajor @feelthefeelingsinsideyou @ombriescent @ztinge @liloefuru @reindeerdaisies @babywizardoll @missanonyma @heckin-kat @thewitchmadness @bunnie-kookie

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17caratfics · 6 years

Text

You Through Her - Part II

Part II of the single dad Wonwoo story requested by @hwangempresseu. Part 1

It was Yoojin who first spilled the beans. Like clockwork, she would push her way through the library doors after school but instead of leaving at half past five to meet Wonwoo part of the way to home, she would wait for you to turn off the lights and then help you finish shelving before taking your hand and walking with you towards her house.

This was a habit born six months ago, three months after you and Wonwoo officially began dating and a year since he first invited you to dinner. Yoojin was now six and her vocabulary has further expanded, making her a force to be reckoned with. She often chattered loudly about whatever new book she was reading but today, she was utterly silent.

“Yoojin-ah, is there something wrong?” You tugged on her hand and she blinked up at you with her doe-like eyes. Her chubby cheeks framed the pout of her lips.

“Nothing,” she whispered.

“Did something happen in school? Were the first-graders mean?”

“No,” she mumbled but you could feel her fingers tighten in your hold. Immediately, you stopped walking and knelt down on the sidewalk by her.

“Yoojin, you should let me know if there’s anything wrong.”

“Daddy told me not to say,” she whispered.

“Oh.” You were quiet as you wondered what could possibly be so serious that her father would instruct her specifically not to say anything.

The little girl seemed to sense how off-put you were because she hurried to reassure you. “It’s nothing bad! In fact, it’s a surprise!” And from the sheen in her eyes, you knew that the reason for her downcast manner previously wasn’t that she was upset, but rather just suppressing herself lest something came out.

Your thoughts flew to what the date was. It wasn’t your first anniversary with Wonwoo. That had passed. It wasn’t your birthday; you still had two more months to go. Yoojin just celebrated her birthday and you knew Wonwoo’s birthday wasn’t until July.

Feeling mischievous, and terribly curious, you quirked an eyebrow and smiled slyly at the little girl. “Do you want to play twenty questions and have me guess what the surprise is about?”

“No!” Yoojin burst out. She looked at you, once more serious. “That will only get me to tell you.” You burst into laughter at how quickly your scheme was seen through and tugged her cheeks.

“Okay, then let’s talk about the book you read today. That should keep your mind off.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” she mumbled. “I read about the surprise.” Your brows furrowed as you tried to picture the cover of the book that Yoojin had been perusing earlier but came out blank.

Leaving it up to fate, you decided that maybe you would find out when Wonwoo came to pick her up from the front door. When you neared the neatly kept house, Yoojin suddenly broke free and looked at you sternly. “Stay here.”

You nodded, staying by the gate as she opened the door just enough to squeeze her tiny body through and then closed it immediately. You saw the curtains were drawn and wondered what Wonwoo was up to.

When the white doors opened, you saw said man standing there instead of the six year-old you expected. Wonwoo was smiling nervously, and your heart melted at the nose scrunch that you have grown to adore through the year.

“Hey,” his deep voice sounded hoarse and there was a whiff of – was that paint?- on him.

He came down the stairs quickly and held out an arm to envelope you in his embrace. You stepped into the hug and smiled. “So Yoojin told me there was a surprise.”

“She did?!” You didn’t think it was possible for his voice to squeak.

You took a step back but didn’t let your arms fall from his waist. “Yes, and I was wondering if you could tell me what it is.”

Wonwoo coughed nervously. “No. Not yet. I’m going to have to guide you down the block to where dinner will be and we will be back in time for the surprise to be ready.” He was already determinedly steering you away from the house.

“And what about Yoojin?”

“She’ll be fine.” At your look, he smiled. “Mingyu’s over.”

It always made your heart pound when you realized just how much Wonwoo have let you into his life. Ever since the first dinner, he had made it a point to personally pick his daughter up from the library, and subsequently talk to you. It took him a good month of the ritual before Yoojin ran up to you with her father’s number on a piece of paper, written in her handwriting and asking, in pure exasperation that you only an adult could muster, if you could kindly give her your number too.

From there, it was a whirlwind of hushed phone conversations when Yoojin was asleep, random texts throughout the day and eventually dates. The dates started off simple, dinner with Wonwoo and Yoojin, but soon he began taking you out. On days when Wonwoo had off and Yoojin was in school, you found an assistant librarian and you would go out.

You started meeting his friends once Wonwoo was sure that the two of you would last longer than the honeymoon period. He had confessed that since losing his wife, he never thought about dating until it hit him out of the blue. For all the moments he shared with you, you shared more of yourself as well.

Wonwoo’s arms fell from your waist to take your hand in his. Your cheeks burned red. This was his neighborhood and even though you were over for dinner often and walked Yoojin home nearly daily, there was still something in you that wondered, what would the neighbors think? Surely they knew about his late wife and must have some judgments about you.

“Hey, don’t think too much. They all love you.” Wonwoo nudged you. He had read your mind, or rather, read the shyness that tingled throughout your palm.

“I sometimes wonder if they think you’re replacing Yoojin’s mom too early.” It was a topic you rarely brought up. Not because Wonwoo didn’t like it, but more because you didn’t quite know how to broach it. It was true that you were a big part of his life now, but another part of you wondered if you were being too presumptuous. If he had invited you into his comfortable bubble of two only to not be serious about you. It was ridiculous. He was the one taking the biggest risk, if anything, but you couldn’t be so sure.

“Love, it’s been four years. If anything, half of them have already tried setting me up with a niece or granddaughter of theirs.” Wonwoo chuckled as he placed a kiss on your temple. “Oh look, we’re here.”

The conversation flowed easily throughout dinner and it was only on your way back that you remembered there was a surprise waiting for you at home. A little tipsy from the wine, and also relaxed from just being with Wonwoo, you giggled up at him. “So can you tell me the surprise now?”

His mouth tightened and he looked almost nervous. There was a small shake of his nod. “Not quite.”

There was a warm light through the windows and when you rounded the corner, saw Mingyu playing patty-cake with Yoojin on the porch. When the tall man saw the two of you, he stood up and placed a kiss on the little girl’s head. “Alright, Uncle Mingyu is going to go now.” He patted Wonwoo on the back and waved at you. “Good luck, man.”

Yoojin was practically squirming. You held out your hand for her to take and she grabbed it. Wonwoo had disentangled himself from you and stood with his hand on the door knob. “Here goes nothing,” he mumbled to himself.

There was nothing particularly special about the house when you first walked in. You did smell paint and it looked cleaner but nothing constituting the big surprise the father-daughter pair had said. Wonwoo started walking up the stairs and Yoojin tugged on you to follow.

You did and Wonwoo tentatively opened the door to the storage room. It was completely different from what it was. The room was freshly coated with a chartreuse color and shelves of books lined the walls. There was a large writing desk with a comfortable chair and two bean bags tossed comfily in the corner. A floor lamp curved right over the desk and Wonwoo smiled.

“I figured you’d like a study room.”

You were speechless. The implications of this gesture loomed but you weren’t able to comprehend a single one. Yoojin stared at you, waiting for a reaction.

“T-thank you, Wonwoo. But I don’t understand.”

There was a tense moment as Yoojin’s face fell. She dropped your hand to pull on her father’s sweater. “Daddy, the case,” she whispered. Wonwoo had been staring at you and seemed to come to his senses at her urging.

“Right.” He held tightly onto her shoulders, as if he needed something to anchor himself with.

“I – ah, this is done all out of order, but I wanted to ask you if you wanted to move in with us. I know it’s a big step and the reading room isn’t meant to pressure you, but I figured it would be an incentive, or something nice to have. Since I know you like doing your research at home, and I figured you’d like this.” He swallowed his nerves but you still couldn’t speak.

“Daddy! The ring,” Yoojin urged.

Wonwoo looked almost aghast. “Yoojin!” But nonetheless, he straightened and managed to stammer out, “I also wanted to propose, but I didn’t know if you thought it would be too rushed, if you wanted to move in and try living with us first, or if you didn’t want to at all.”

Suddenly, all the consequences of his actions clicked and you felt isolated. The two of them stood together and you wanted nothing more than to join them. Your heart was racing too fast and the emotions were pouring through your body, to your eyes and you rushed at Wonwoo, throwing yourself into his arms and sliding a hand for Yoojin to grab.

“Is that a yes?” Wonwoo mumbled into your neck as you tried to stop the sniffles to form a legible answer.

“Yes,” you sobbed, “Yes to everything, and thank you for letting me be a part of your family.”

Wonwoo’s arms tightened around you, and he kissed your cheek. “Yoojin-ah, do you mind getting daddy the ring?”

The little girl smiled cheekily and held out her palms, revealing the sparkling circlet. “Beat you to it.”

#wonwoo #Seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo imagines #seventeen fics #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fics

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brittanacedes · 6 years

Note

brittana headcanons?

Okay, this has been in my inbox for a month because I kept putting it off. Just because it’s such a broad question and I have A Lot of thoughts, so I wanted to make sure I was able to think about all my random thoughts!

I’ve had this half finished in my drafts for weeks now because I felt like it wasn’t Complete, but I can’t think of anymore, so I’m just gonna post it. If anyone wants to know my headcanons for anything specific that I haven’t listed here, send me an ask and I’ll answer! I can start a headcanon tag :)

I tend to try to make my headcanons as reflective of canon and realistic as possible, as opposed to just straight up ignoring canon, so keep that in mind when reading :)

Pre-Series:

Brittany came on strong when they first met and while Santana was attracted to her, was put off by how touchy and forward she was, and thought she was weird. Brittany wasn’t fazed by any of Santana’s insults and decided herself that she and Santana were friends and would sit with her in class and at lunch and practice and stuff, and eventually Santana just stopped complaining because it’s not like anyone else liked her much. Until one day, for some reason that wasn’t actually Britt’s fault, she snapped and hit below the belt, calling her dumb or whatever, and instantly regretted it when Brittany finally left her alone. Of course, that made Santana admit to herself that she actually grew to like Brittany and her company and so, for the first time ever, she apologized, and they were best friends ever since. It’s part of why Santana became so protective of Brittany and why she always makes sure Britt knows how smart she thinks she is. That’s the one and only time she ever said it, and normally I am Against the idea that she would ever, but Britt did imply she had when she said Artie was the only one in school, so.

Santana lost her virginity to Brittany, and that’s why she didn’t have a story to tell when the other girls did in The First Time. It’s what made her start sleeping around with guys more, trying to prove to herself that sex with boys felt just as good/better than with Brittany and she wasn’t a lesbian. It never did.

Series:

Brittany’s little sister has always had the biggest crush on Santana and was heartbroken the day she found out Brittana were together. She didn’t talk to Brittany for, like, a whole weekend and everything.

Like Mercedes predicted, Santana was obnoxious as hell after Brittany won senior class president, and would try to wield her power as First Lady in the most ridiculous situations; like when she wanted a specific seat in class or in the choir room (“Excuse me, but my girlfriend is your president. Do you know what that makes me? Your First Lady. Wouldn’t you give Michelle Obama your seat?”)

Brittany was bummed they lost prom king/queen, and had brought a crown to give to Santana after just in case they lost.

Santana definitely cried the first time she had sex with a girl after breaking up with Brittany, and only partly because she’s tipsy.

When Sam [redacted], Brittany didn’t say yes right away. Right before he did that, she was telling the other glee club members what she really thinks of them as part of her countdown to dying or whatever. I’ve always thought she tried to get in contact with Santana to do the same with her, to tell her she still loves her and everything, but she gets ignored in one way or another - either she goes to her house and finds out Santana isn’t coming home for Christmas after all, or she leaves a voicemail and never gets a return call back or gets left on read, whatever. And it was that rejection and her sadness from it that made her say what the hell, and does the stupid thing. She just looked so miserable and sad during that scene, and preoccupied.

Brittany hooked up with a couple girls while at MIT. Being in Lima, where she and Santana were apparently the only girls that liked girls, she had only ever had boys as non-Santana options. So once she got to MIT, she wanted to explore more so she was specifically looking for ladies. One was a girl that actually went to MIT - she was cute and nerdy, but not very experienced (that was okay with Britt), and the other girl she met at coffee shop just off campus. They were both just one night stands, but it was the only fun Britt had at MIT.

Santana called Dani and broke up with her right after Brittany kissed her in 100. Even if she didn’t know what she wanted to do in regards to Britt, she knew she still had feelings for her and it wasn’t right to be with Dani while still being in love with someone else.

After enjoying a few days in Lesbos, they locked themselves in their room for like a solid 24 hours and just talked about everything that went down between them and everything that happened to both of them since. They talk about any lingering beef they have with each other and ask questions and tell each other about hook ups, etc.

Brittany didn’t come back to NYC with Santana after vacation because she was finishing up some commitments she still had at MIT.

The only person Santana told about wanting to propose to Brittany was Mercedes, while they were on tour. While Brittany was busy rehearsing with the dancers, the two of them would go look at different ring shops in different malls until Santana found the ring she wanted.

The real reason Brittany invited Kurt and Blaine to also get married was because she knows 50% of marriages end in divorce and even though Santana did a good job of talking her down from the ledge as far as her superstition went, she just wanted to really cover her bases.

Brittany surprises Santana with a nice engagement ring on their honeymoon, because she knows Santana loves her bling and thinks it’s only fair she gets a rock, too.

Post-Series:

They absolutely get infinity symbol tattoos on the inside their pinkies.

They take Lord Tubbington with them to New York, but Lady Tubbington stays in Lima with Brittany’s sister. At first Santana worries Britt feels obligated because she was a gift from Sam and she thinks Santana would feel some type of way about it, but Brittany promises it’s nothing like that, but because 1) she doesn’t want to leave her family with no pets and 2) she’s not as adventurous as Tubbs and Britt doesn’t think she’d like the big city (she didn’t do well with the move to MIT).

Both of them go back to school, to the same one, but Brittany takes a shorter program because she just doesn’t like school much. She doesn’t hate it and she thinks it’s important to have some kind of college education, so she takes something in media or dance, but she doesn’t go the extra mile to do anything beyond completing a basic program. Santana takes it a bit more seriously, and takes a general program until she decides what she wants to do. She switches majors at least twice, before finally settling on something like business management or something; some kind of job that helps their budding Youtube career.

Brittany starts taking her Youtube stuff more seriously, and after Santana appears in some of her videos and the viewers really respond to it, it starts happening more and more until it becomes their channel. Their channel getting bigger is what finally helps Santana settle on a major, and she really gets involved and helps to make their channel a real source of income for them. They get big and get all kinds of awesome gifts and trips and stuff for their channel, and they travel a lot and vlog it and they just have a fun ass life that they get a lot of say in.

They do odd jobs with/for Mercedes throughout her career, singing with her or dancing with her, appearing in her videos, etc. Same with their other friends, but Mercedes the most; she’s got the best hook up.

They don’t have any kids. Neither of them were against the idea, but it was never something either of them was dying for or even planning for. Then after Kurt and Blaine have their kid, and they see how much their life changes and how boring it gets, they both agree they don’t want that. They love being able to travel when they want to and they just aren’t interested in being tied down by a kid.

They’re totally the cool aunts, though, that always have the best presents and stories to share when they visit all their friends kids.

No skyping or double dates with Kurt and Blaine on their anniversary, but they do text each other on the day, at least. At least Britt does, because she lowkey feels bad about using them.

Abuela still has moments of obvious uncomfortableness, but she really tries and both of them really appreciate it and never push her. They’re always very cautious around her, even as she gets better about it. She is not happy about their decision not to give her any grandkids though.

#the tenses are all over the place in this i'm sorry lmao #brittana #headcanons #ask #also some of these are things i've said before on here but i wanted them all in one place so

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a-fluffer-nutter · 7 years

Text

Anniversaries

WARNINGS : SAD!BONES and DIVORCE

Jim Kirk got himself out of bed and walked himself into the hallway in the direction of the Mess Hall. Jim had no idea that today was a special day. Heck, he didn’t even know what day it was; he knew he’d have to ask Spock for the star date later on the Bridge.

Something he had known however, was that there was something different. As he walked through the halls, there was no one there. He walked back to his quarters just to check the time to make sure the crew hadn’t reset his alarm to go off at 3:00 a.m. Again.

No. The clock read 7:00 a. m. So he decided to walk back to the Mess Hall and on the way, he would knock on random doors to see if this was a prank and everyone was just staying in their rooms. Whenever he tried to do this though, there was no answer. He decided to go to the Mess Hall anyway. Some breakfast and coffee was bound to help him think.

“SURPRISE!!!” The scare of everyone screaming woke Kirk up better than his coffee would have. He looked around and saw everyone right there in the Mess Hall. Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, along with the rest of the crew. The room was flooded with yellow, blue and red streamers. The floor was completely covered in confetti and some was still falling from the air. Directly above their heads was a banner with the word, “Enterprise”. Next to it, on the banner, was a little Enterprise with a speech bubble to make it say, “Yay!”

What really caught Kirk’s eye were the cakes. They were three and they were very large so everyone could eat. Each were yellow and made in the shape of the Enterprise’s insignia. The middle sported the “Command” symbol while the one on the left displayed “Science and Medicine” symbol and the one on the right bore the “Engineering/Communications/Security” symbol. The middle cake, on top of the “Command” symbol also had written in cursive, “Captain Kirk”. Jim couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face.

“What’s all this?”

“Today is exactly one year since the Enterprise took off,” said Scotty.

“And therefore,” said Spock. “One year since you became our Captain.” A whole year, Kirk thought. Wow.

“Cut the cakes, Captain” he heard Sulu call.

“I want a corner” Chekov said.

“Why would the corner of the cake be superior to the rest?” Spock said. As Chekov tried to explain it to Spock, Kirk noticed something. The Mess Hall lacked a sort of good-natured grumpiness. McCoy wasn’t there.

“Mr. Spock,” Kirk said. Spock turned to him and Chekov stopped talking. “Where’s McCoy?”

“I am unaware, Captain.”

“I’m going to go find him. You cut the cakes.” Kirk left as he completely ignored his crew’s pleads to stay.

***

He arrived at door 3F 127 and knocked on the door. There was no answer.

“Bones?” Still nothing. Jim started to make his way towards the Sickbay. Bones had to be there. Right? Where else could he be?

The bathroom? No, nobody knew where those were. The Bridge? Nope, Bones never went there alone. Engineering? Not likely, he was never there either. So, yeah; he had to be in his Sickbay.

“Bones?” Kirk said upon entering the room. There was still no answer, but Kirk traveled in further until he saw a hunched figure sitting on a bio-bed. “Bones?” Kirk put his hand on his shoulder.

“Ten years,” Bones said. “Ten years ago today she left.” Jim knew exactly who “she” was: Bones’ ex-wife. And Bones still loved her. Jim didn’t know what to say, he had never been married, and therefore, had never been divorced.

“Maybe I’m not the right person to be here, since I’ve never had a divorce. But Commander Murphy has. Do you want me to get him?” He thought Bones would like to talk to someone with a similar experience.

“No. You’re fine.” Jim was both shocked and kind of happy that Bones would choose him over Murphy for this. He sat down next to Bones on the bed, but said nothing. Sometimes it’s better to just be there with someone.

He sat there with Bones for an hour. He stayed with him through the tears, through the stories starting with how he and Jocelyn met and ended with the final boom of the judge’s gavel that officially declared that their marriage was over.

“I know it hurts, Bones,” he said. “But look at your life now.”

“Jim, you know I hate this endless void you call space.”

“Just forget you’re in space for a minute. Look at where your career is.”

“I’m the Chief Surgeon.”

“And look at how many friends you have.”

“A whole shipload.” His eyes widened in realization of this fact. Jim smiled.

“Friends who would do anything for you. Spock and I included.”

“Even the hobgoblin.” Deep down, he knew that Spock would do anything for him, and he would do anything for Spock. Jim laughed and pulled Bones into a hug. He held him tight in the embrace..

“Yes, even the hobgoblin.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Bones. Besides,” Kirk pulled away from the hug and grabbed Bones’ arms so he could look at him directly. “Unlike you, she doesn’t understand what love is: putting others first. And she’ll never know the things that love can drive people to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate changes, the glorious failures, and the glorious victories. All these things she’ll never know, simply because the word ‘love’ isn’t written into her book. Love is written into your book, Bones. Don’t let her erase it.” Bones nodded.

“You’re right.” Jim smiled at his friend and hugged him again.

“Feeling better?”

“Much better. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Bones. Anytime.”

As they slowly let go of each other, Bones jerked when Jim’s fingers passed the backs of his ribs. When he looked up, he saw a hint of mischief in Jim’s eyes. He backed up.

“Jim,” he said, but he was too late. Jim jumped on him and went for his belly. “Jihihihihihim!”

“What Bones?” Kirk found it impossible to not smile upon seeing his friend laugh. He moved to the crook of his neck and ever-so-gently pinched the skin. “What do you want?”

“Nohohohohoho!”

“No? What do you mean you want ‘no’? You’re not making sense, Bones-AH!!” During Jim’s teasing, he reached up and began squeezing Jim’s ribs. “Stohohohop!”

“Nohohohot untihihil youhu stoahp!” They both switched spots at the same time. Jim went after the doctor’s own ribs and said doctor attacked Jim’s underarms. While this move did bring Jim’s arms closer to him, it did not bring them far enough away from Bones and it did not stop Jim’s fingers.

Bones knew the only way to get Jim to stop was to have absolutely no mercy, so, he did just that. He scratched and squeezed his hips.

“BOHOHOHOHONES!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Jim screamed. Bones laughed harder at Jim’s reaction than he did at Jim tickling him. However, he began to laugh even harder when he felt hands wiggle into his armpits - his weak spot. Normally, Bones would have fallen to the ground from such an attack, but because he was already on the ground, he froze.

Jim knew he had won. He quickly turned around and gave quick scratches to his knees, which drew out barks of laughter, before getting off. Jim offered Bones a hand at getting up as they were both catching their breaths.

“C’mon, Bones.” Jim said. “We gotta party to go to.”

“Yeah,” Bones said. “I got a better anniversary to celebrate.”

Jim and Bones both cut the cakes and made sure that Chekov and Spock each got a corner piece. .

**NOTE : Some dialect was direct from Star Trek TOS. A few words had to be changed, but it was mostly the same. The actual line from Star Trek TOS is, “You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him because never you’ll know the things that love can drive a man to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate changes, the glorious failures, and the glorious victories. All these things you’ll never know, simply because the word ‘love’ isn’t written into your book. Goodnight, Spock,” - Leonard McCoy**

#this is the cutest thing ever!!#Thank you so much!!!#I love it :D #submission

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dreamthinkimagine · 7 years

Text

Anniversaries

WARNINGS : SAD!BONES and DIVORCE

“What’s all this?”

“Today is exactly one year since the Enterprise took off,” said Scotty.

“And therefore,” said Spock. “One year since you became our Captain.” A whole year, Kirk thought. Wow.

“Cut the cakes, Captain” he heard Sulu call.

“I want a corner” Chekov said.

“Mr. Spock,” Kirk said. Spock turned to him and Chekov stopped talking. “Where’s McCoy?”

“I am unaware, Captain.”

“I’m going to go find him. You cut the cakes.” Kirk left as he completely ignored his crew’s pleads to stay.

***

He arrived at door 3F 127 and knocked on the door. There was no answer.

“Bones?” Still nothing. Jim started to make his way towards the Sickbay. Bones had to be there. Right? Where else could he be?

The bathroom? No, nobody knew where those were. The Bridge? Nope, Bones never went there alone. Engineering? Not likely, he was never there either. So, yeah; he had to be in his Sickbay.

“I know it hurts, Bones,” he said. “But look at your life now.”

“Jim, you know I hate this endless void you call space.”

“Just forget you’re in space for a minute. Look at where your career is.”

“I’m the Chief Surgeon.”

“And look at how many friends you have.”

“A whole shipload.” His eyes widened in realization of this fact. Jim smiled.

“Friends who would do anything for you. Spock and I included.”

“Even the hobgoblin.” Deep down, he knew that Spock would do anything for him, and he would do anything for Spock. Jim laughed and pulled Bones into a hug. He held him tight in the embrace..

“Yes, even the hobgoblin.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re right.” Jim smiled at his friend and hugged him again.

“Feeling better?”

“Much better. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Bones. Anytime.”

As they slowly let go of each other, Bones jerked when Jim’s fingers passed the backs of his ribs. When he looked up, he saw a hint of mischief in Jim’s eyes. He backed up.

“Jim,” he said, but he was too late. Jim jumped on him and went for his belly. “Jihihihihihim!”

“What Bones?” Kirk found it impossible to not smile upon seeing his friend laugh. He moved to the crook of his neck and ever-so-gently pinched the skin. “What do you want?”

“Nohohohohoho!”

“No? What do you mean you want ‘no’? You’re not making sense, Bones-AH!!” During Jim’s teasing, he reached up and began squeezing Jim’s ribs. “Stohohohop!”

Bones knew the only way to get Jim to stop was to have absolutely no mercy, so, he did just that. He scratched and squeezed his hips.

“C’mon, Bones.” Jim said. “We gotta party to go to.”

"Yeah," Bones said. "I got a better anniversary to celebrate."

Jim and Bones both cut the cakes and made sure that Chekov and Spock each got a corner piece. .

#i stole the bathroom joke from drew carey who said it on whose line is it anyway #didn't know mccoy's wife's name is jocelyn so I had to google it #some dialect is directly from Star Trek TOS #i just had to change a few words from the dialogue directly from Star Trek TOS so it would fit the story but most of it is still the same #i had some help with this one but they do not have a tumblr otherwise i would have included them in this tag if they wanted me to #ticklish!bones #ticklish!jim

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orionsangel86 · 7 years

Text

12x12 Episode Review - Still Screeching...this time about the colour “Peach”.

I gave my 12x10 episode review the title “Pterodactyl Screeching into the Void” because I was so happy about it I couldn’t help but scream with glee at practically every moment. I also said this: “I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come.” I still believe this, I just didn’t expect that two episodes later I would be reliving this exact same thoughts and feelings. I considered 12x10 to be a one off, a glorious gift to fandom wrapped in a big destielicious bow. Clearly, we celebrate our fandom birthday only two weeks before fandom Christmas because we just got ANOTHER gift wrapped in an even BIGGER destielicious bow and I can hardly contain my glee. (baring in mind fandom Christmas falls on the tenth anniversary of tumblr and close to valentines day I can’t help but feel this was planned - PRESENTS ALL AROUND)

But anyway. Lets talk meta. Once again I am very late to the party as I doubt I will be posting this any earlier than Saturday evening when you have probably all been talking this to death for the past two days. But eh, I’m gonna do my thing and hope you all agree, or aren’t bored by now if everything I talk about is stuff already gone over by my fellow very talented meta writers.

Starting with the obvious, Director Dick Speight Jr and Writer Davy Perez made this episode an homage to Tarantino movies. Specifically Reservoir Dogs which has so many ties to this episode both visually and subtextually that it is kind of difficult to keep track of my thoughts on it. I have to confess, I hadn’t ever watched Reservoir Dogs all the way through prior to watching the episode because it never really interested me. However, after watching the episode for the first time Friday lunch time I decided that it was in my best interests as a meta writer to give it a go. I watched it and tried to take in everything Tarantino was saying and doing with this movie…

Being a meta writing, destiel shipper with heteronormative goggles permanently removed since watching this show guess what the first thing I picked up on was? That’s right Mr White and Mr Orange… what WAS going on there anyway? Because these guys didn’t know each other very long but they became VERY close by the time of the heist. Poor Freddie and Larry. Such doomed tragic lovers... do we have a ship name for them yet? Frarry? Leddie? Or maybe just “peach” (hence my title)

I believe that when Perez was writing this episode he had a SPN character in mind for each character in RD (mostly anyway). Cas is obviously Mr Orange (the bleeding out from the stomach thing gives it away as does Davy’s tweet here. Here is who I think the rest of the characters are supposed to be:

Dean – Mr White (duh)

Mary – Mr Pink

Wally – Mr Brown

Sam – Nice Guy Eddie maybe? I struggled here

Crowley – I wanna say Joe. (though I also kinda think Ketch would be Joe here… its not too obvious)

Remiel – Mr Blonde (“yellow” hair)

Explanations and various meta under the cut. This gets long:

THE TRAGIC LOVERS/ THE WOUNDED ANGEL

How amazing was this episode for Dean and Cas? I know people were getting upset about the diner scene being Dean trying to set Cas up but this was all posturing on Dean’s part partly for Wally and partly because he was bristled with jealousy. Someone needs to get Dean’s face when the waitress first calls Cas “handsome” and use the “conceal don’t feel” moment from Frozen because that is EXACTLY what was going on there.

(gif source @godshipsit)

“My Devastatingly handsome friend here” Really Dean? Mandy had already called Cas handsome you don’t need to talk him up to her now she has already shown her interest. Your crush is showing Dean.

But lets skip past the diner scene because there is SO MUCH more to talk about. A big part of this very busy story is about Cas getting injured and the Winchesters reaction to that. It seems like the writers are going out of their way right now to show the audience that Cas is SUPER IMPORTANT SO SHUT THE HELL UP SAYING HE ISNT. THANK YOU ANDREW DABB. THANK YOU DAVY PEREZ, THANK YOU DICK SPEIGHT JR. THIS IS EVERYTHING TO US! I meant it when I said I was *sipping Cas hater tears* right now. I get so happy when justice is served.

We never do find out if anything happened between Cas and the waitress… I suppose you could say it was added as a “no homo” to the “I love you” from later on in the episode, but I think it was completely non relevant. They immediately leave the diner to go after the demon. So no hot sex with random waitress for Cas Though honestly, he showed no interest at all. Dean did all the work for him and all Cas did was give her a sniff to see if the whole “smells like food”thing was true. Its kinda hilarious.

Anway, cue Cas getting stabbed by the Lance.

This is such a beautiful shot. I just wanted to say that. Also, this is a demon with a weird hobby for night fishing who happens to make Cas his “catch” on this particular night. This is the second time Cas has been the “fish” in this show, and well:

(gif source @winchester-reload)

(sorry couldn’t resist).

As soon as Dean realises Cas is hurt, he takes on Mr Whites role of being the one to inspect the wound, to reassure Cas that he will be okay, to just plain deny his dying. Its beautiful to watch Dean get so upset about this. Once again his reaction is so very different from Sam and Mary’s – both of whom are incredibly upset don’t get me wrong – but Dean’s reactions, and Deans emotions, are where the camera focuses the most. Why? Why do you all bloody think? (Remember that our Director this episode calls himself “the Prophet of Destiel” so I think we are in good company here guys).

“you look like hammered crap”

“Yeah that sounds about right”

Still being the husband Dean. “I’ve had worse” “Oh yeah? When” Urgh the whole exchange is so touching really. Dean covers the wound up to stop Cas from looking at it, tries to reassure him. The LIP QUIVER thank you Jensen for those small but exceptionally well thought out motions.

(gif source @subcas)

His actual face is terrified, every one of these tiny reactions is Jensen at his best and I have to send Dick Speight Jr a fruit basket for capturing each and every one.

Besides you know things are bad when he calls out for “Sammy”

“no, no theres a cure. Theres always a cure” so desperate

Dean’s reaction to Crowleys “hey, I was quite fond of the choir boy too” with his “shut up, shut up” because he is showing his anger. He is in denial, and is handling it with anger against Crowley. Because Crowley knows how he feels about Cas. Hence his response. It was another subtle but beautiful moment highlighting how Dean reacts differently when Cas is in danger.

And then we have CAS’S SPEECH. I know we have all been flailing about this since the episode aired as lets be honest it is THE BEST thing about this episode. I have watched it so many times, picked it apart and just cried over it enough times in the past few days to know that this beautiful moment means EVERYTHING.

“Thank you, thank you, knowing you, its been the best part of my life. And the things that we’ve shared together, they have changed me.”

Notice how Mary looks at Dean here. She doesn’t know their history, but at this point in the season I do think that Mary suspects something is between Dean and Cas. Her reactions speak far louder than words (just like her stubborn son).

As the camera then cuts to Dean’s reaction:

(gif source @godshipsit)

Because of course it does. Dean’s face here is so very perfect for the emotional turmoil going on inside him. Cas says that the things they have shared together have “changed him” as in for the better, Mary looks at Dean and Dean looks BROKEN because yes he has changed Cas “The very touch of you corrupts” and I doubt that Dean has forgotten that somehow, especially when we had a reminder of it just two episodes ago. Dean thinks he has ruined Cas and this moment was very telling of that.

(gif source @ahoyspn)

“you’re my family,” FINALLY HE KNOWS. How long has it taken him to get here?

ASHJFHEGFEWAHFUEHFUH!!!

CUT TO DEAN AND DEAN ALONE!! (Thank you editing department for making that FUCKING CLEAR! (Gif source for both the above @godshipsit)

“I love all of you.”

DISTINCTION. TO CLARIFY MEANS THE FIRST IS AMBIGUOUS. Also the reaction shots here are amazing.

Dean’s face is just pure pain. I can’t bare it. This is the best fucking thing SPN has EVER given us.

AND THEN AND THEN

WE GET OUR CONFIRMATION. CAS GETS HIS CONFIRMATION THAT HE IS IMPORTANT. HE IS NOT EXPENDABLE. THEY WOULD GIVE THEIR LIVES FOR HIM. THIS IS ALL WE HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR.

“Cas No.” Dean says. Just no. I will not leave you here.

“Yes, you need to keep fighting”

“We are fighting. We’re fighting for you Cas” OH SAMMY HOW I LOVE YOU.

“And like you said we’re family, and we don’t leave family behind” OH DEAN NO YOU ARE BEAKING MY HEART

LOOK AT THIS POOR SWEETHEARTS FACE

(gif source @godshipsit)

THIS IS THE MOMENT HE REALISES. THE MOMENT IT HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO. THE MOMENT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. THIS IS IT. THIS FACE IS WHAT I HAVE WEIGHED MY HEART ON SINCE WATCHING 10x22 AND GAMBLING ON WHETHER TO STICK WITH THIS FUCKING SHOW OR NOT.

I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THIS. I WROTE ABOUT CAS’S ARC AND WHAT WAS COMING FOR HIM AND THIS IS FUCKING IT YOU GUYS THIS IS SO SO SO IMPORTANT I AM CRYING.

I am probably gonna devote a separate post just to this tbh because I can hardly stand it.

Look, I have decided I am not going to debate the “I love you” here. It is ambiguous, on second, third, forth and fifth viewing I will admit that, but I have two asks in my inbox both speaking kinda negatively about this confession so I will address this separately there. At the end of the day, with everything else we have been told about Cas up until this point, it can easily be read as a romantic “I love you” to Dean just as it can be read as a platonic one. I have chosen to see the romantic interpretation, because Dean’s reaction was first.

Anyway, the fact is that the way Dean reacts to the whole Cas dying thing is different to the way Sam and Mary react. There is a distinction, just like there is a distinction between “I love you” and “I love all of you”.

When Cas is spewing up black goo (and baby why are you always vomiting black goo you poor thing – love the season 6/7 call backs though)

compared to:

and:

(gif sources all @godshipsit)

See, Sam is able to remain calm “hang in there alright. What do we do?” and Dean? Dean can’t talk. He is close to tears, he just looks BROKEN and looks down. He can’t even watch Cas die. This is once again further proof (that we have been getting since 11x10 btw) that the brothers view Cas differently. To Sam, Cas is a friend, a brother, he loves him, but he isn’t so very emotionally compromised when Cas is in danger. Dean? Oh Dean breaks. Every. Time. This is why we keep going on about these things. See we don’t think Sam thinks less of Cas, its just that he is not in love with Cas like Dean is. When you are in love with someone, it hurts more. This distinction has constantly been thrown at us in the show. It is important.

Then the HANDS urgh I love anything Handsy in this show… so much symbolism.

(gif source @weallneedcastiel)

Blablabla hands blablabla profound bonds… oh but THIS:

(thanks to @elizabethrobertajones for giffing this in zoomed in slow motion because she is trying to KILL ME)

This kills me. Sam lets go, Dean clings on for as long as he can. TELL ME THAT ISN’T TRUE LOVE?!?

And then as if they haven’t ALREADY KILLED US ENOUGH THEY GIVE US THIS:

(gif source @godshipsit)

Guys. GUYS. What was it Bob Singer said? “Cas is a nomad, he doesn’t have a home.”

WELL THANKS BOB SINGER BUT I GUESS YOU HAD A CHANGE OF HEART OR DABB TOTALLY OVERRULED YOU! We know for 100% certain that Cas’s home is the bunker. He lives there. He belongs there. This is such a far cry from 9x03 I am so so happy. It is undeniable. Cas lives at the Bunker.

Then at the end, as if I didn’t need my freaking heart:

“I almost lost one of my boys”

MARY HAS ONLY BEEN AROUND FOR A FEW MONTHS AND CAS IS ONE OF HER BOYS! SHE SEES HIM AS ONE OF HER BOYS! IS THIS FANFICTION? WHO SOLD THEIR SOUL FOR THIS? This is proof enough that Cas is part of the family. This episode is the gift that keeps on giving.

Now that I have screeched about all of that, I just want to quickly talk about the mirrors in Reservoir Dogs. Because as I said earlier, Dean and Cas are our Mr White and Mr Orange. Why is this? Because if you watch the scene where Mr White comforts Mr Orange in the warehouse you will find some similarities between that and Dean and Cas’s exchange in this episode.

Look I will admit I watched this film once (and then watched these few scenes a couple of extra times) so I am no expert on it, but as far as I am concerned, this is quite obvious subtext. The film starts and ends with these two guys wrapped in each others arms, dying, bloody, and very close. Larry (Mr White) stands up for Freddie (Mr Orange) the whole way through the movie. He is the only one who doesn’t doubt him. Everyone else is suspicious of Mr Orange being the cop and it all builds up to the moment where they all point their guns at each other because Mr White risks his life to save Mr Orange from Joe’s gun. He goes against his friends for this guy he barely knows… the big question is WHY? Well, it makes a hell of a lot more sense if maybe Mr White had fallen in LOVE with Mr Orange… because love makes you go against logic. So it obviously makes the film all the more tragic to know that Mr Orange WAS the undercover cop and basically breaks Mr Whites heart in that final scene (because he doesn’t want to die in the arms of the guy he clearly loves knowing there is still one big lie between them.)

How does this relate to Dean and Cas? Because even though Davy Perez only wrote very loose connections between the other SPN character and the Res Dogs cast, (except Mary blatantly being Mr Pink and getting away with the loot at the end) he very CLEARLY wrote parallels for White and Orange in Dean and Cas. The guys with the homoerotic subtext in Res Dogs, get the homoerotic subtext in SPN as well. Both sadly remain subtextual, but the parallels are blatantly obvious.

This episode has given us enough to write about in terms of destiel for the next YEAR let along the next week. I can hardly keep up with it all. And this isn’t even the rest of this beautiful episode which after 6 re-watches I still haven’t tired of yet.

MR KETCH/ MOTHER MARY

“Tell me a story”

Honestly my first thought was Metatron. But then this makes sense since I think the British Men of Letters are Dabb’s self-insert character. Like Metatron was Carver’s self-insert character and Chuck was Kripke’s self-insert character. Did Gamble have a self-insert character? Because we are getting so many call backs to season 6 this season that I feel like it should be acknowledged. Anyway, we don’t actually know that he is talking to Mary at this point, but a lot of this episode takes place from Mary’s POV. Mary is incredibly conflicted at this point, but I do think that she believes they are doing good. I also feel like the line “asking the wrong questions” is important. This season is all about communication, miscommunication and a lack of communication. If only they would all TALK TO EACH OTHER.

Excellent use of the Pulp Fiction mystery brief case glow (WHAT COULD IT BE?)

One of the most shocking things in this episode was how Mary refused to reveal that she had stolen from Ramiel to save Cas’s life. She sneaked around behind the boys’ backs, wouldn’t tell them that she is working with the BMOL, stole the mystery item and lied to her sons about it. This is all very Cas in season 6. Mary knows that what she is doing is wrong, she must do, otherwise she would have spoken to her sons about it (lack of communication). We keep talking about how this is a season 6 rewrite, but this time Mary is in Cas’s place, this couldn’t have been more obvious come the end of the episode with this outfit:

Also this line:

“Anything happens like that again, anything, and I will burn you down”

Made me think of this line:

“If you touch a hair on their heads, I will tear it all down. Our arrangement. I’m still an angel, and I will bury you.” Said to Crowley by Cas in 6x20.

We have ourselves a very interesting little parallel here. Mary is betraying her boys and it is not gonna go well for her, if season 6 is anything to go on. What could possibly happen? Well, the BMOL want to rid the world of all Supernatural beings for a start, and Mary seems to share that mentality. The fact that she wouldn’t give up the Colt to save Cas’s life also makes me rather concerned… but she did call him “one of my boys” so I dunno what to think. Is Cas potentially in danger here? We have speculated this before, after seeing the way both Ketch and Mick seem to hungrily eye Cas up all the time. Whilst its funny to think that they both just wanna jump his bones, the truth of the matter is that they probably wanna string him in a display cabinet like Catrina’s butterflies in 12x11. Could Mary’s refusal to hand over the Colt at that point be foreshadowing for her using Cas as a bargaining tool later in the season? Could she betray him to the BMOL? I don’t want to think that Mary would be capable of such a thing, but like my Evil!Mary anon keeps saying, something isn’t right with her, and she doesn’t have the Winchester’s long history with Cas (or the Colt) to truly understand what they mean to each other. Mary’s reactions to Cas’s confession seemed more like surprise than anything else, especially the way she turns to look back at her sons when Cas talks about the “things they have shared”.

If there is one thing I have been completely unable to predict with this season it is where the mytharc plot is going. There are so many elements at play, and now we have the return of the Colt and Mary’s betrayal to deal with as well. This is only going to escalate into something very bad, and Sam and Dean are going to be royally burned at the end of it. Could it come down to a choice? Cas vs Mary? So far this season Dabb has gone out of his way to prove that Cas is one of the family, and now we finally have got to a point where Cas himself believes this. Could this all have been to put him on equal grounds with Mary only to have the Winchester’s make a Schindler’s List style decision later down the line? How horrifying a thought. I hope it doesn’t come to that, but this whole situation with Mary has got me very worried.

THE PRINCE/ MR CROWLEY

Oh boy was this awesome. Firstly, I love the character of Ramiel. He was straight out of a Tarantino movie with his “couldn’t give a damn” attitude and his constantly calm manner. He was a cold psychopath and I loved it. Also he was our “Mr Blonde” with his yellow eyes. (I am glad that no one lost an ear in this episode – though I am suddenly very much aware that this already happened in SPN previously… honestly we will soon get to a point where everything has been done on SPN. This show is insane.) The whistling, the fishing, the spear, the “you mind explaining why you broke into my house!?” so smoothly after being shot. I think he was one of the best villains we have had in a while. I would have liked to see more of him. Interestingly, when I watched the promo shots of him I was reminded of Alistair. I am not sure why other than I saw similarities between the actors, but the fact that he was actually a “prince of hell” and a call back to Azazel was amazing.

NEW LORE! Good new lore too rather than retcons that don’t make much sense! Finding out some origin stories about Azazel (also HOW AWESOME was that yellow eyes reveal to Mary!) The first demons after Lilith created by Lucifer had yellow eyes. HOW LONG have we been speculating about the colour of demon eyes and what it means?

“Asmodeus has his hobbies, Dagon has her toys” TWO NEW SCARY DEMONS who we will totally be seeing in the coming episodes now… probably to avenge their dear departed brother. We know that Dagon has taken an interest in Kelly Kline and Lucifer’s baby so we will probably be seeing her next episode - for some reason I totally picture her as an Ellie Driver character… probably because eye patches are suddenly “a thing” in this show and also nurses outfit/protecting the baby mama… yeah… This is my Dagon currently:

Anyway, we are back to “yellow eyed demon” levels of bad and I love all the call backs to the previous seasons. Season 6 is predominantly the season we are rewriting in season 12, but there have also been major callbacks to season 4 and to the early seasons now to the point that I partly think this is Dabbs rewrite of the entire first half of the show.

Lets talk about Crowley, because OMG CROWLEY in this episode! Crowley is like the epitome of “I don’t care” (actually cares a lot) bless him. First of all, we get a CROWLEY ORIGIN STORY (bless you Davy Perez) because how long have we all been wondering how he managed to claim the throne? He was given it by the rightful heir.

What is the most amazing part of this, which gives such a HUGE insight into Crowley’s character is this:

(gif source @godshipsit)

Which is his reaction to finding out that Cas was stabbed with the lance. The subtle shock, and sorrow on his face, before he composes himself. I just… CROWLEY! Where is that feelings gif?

I know we joke about the Crowley x dean x cas love triangle, but with this season calling back to season 6 and Cas and Crowley’s original partnership, with all the history between Crowley and Dean and now THIS? Evidence that Crowley cares. A lot. What makes it even better is that while everyone else was sitting around helplessly watching Cas die, Crowley DID SOMETHING. He BROKE THE LANCE…. Seemingly one of the most powerful weapons in creation, a weapon that he could have used to KILL LUCIFER and he BROKE IT FOR CAS. CROWLEY SAVED CAS’S LIFE FOR ABSOLUTELY NO PERSONAL GAIN WHATSOEVER. CROWLEY CARES ABOUT CAS.

This is just wonderful. What does this mean for Crowley now? He clearly cares about them, but they still reject him mostly. Will this act of compassion mean that the Winchesters accept Crowley as a part of their group from now on? Or will Lucifer’s words poison his mind?

Because lets talk about that for a moment. We all knew that Lucifer wasn’t in the cage… Crowley has him locked up in a small cage in his throne room. This will not end well. Lucifer is the master of deception, he uses his words to manipulate people and with Crowley’s weakness being the Winchesters (including Cas) Lucifer could easily use this against him.

“I know that look. Sam and Dean have got you down. I still can’t believe you’re working for the dukes of haphazard. Do you really think they care about you? Think about it Crowley, they kill your kind. It’s in their blood. You know, you know. Its only a matter of time before they come for yoooouuu”.

This is Lucifer already working his magic. His forked tongue whispering things into Crowley’s ear that will slowly poison his mind and turn him against the Winchesters again. I don’t know what is coming up for Crowley, but like with Mary, I can’t see it going well for him. I am so excited to find out what happens next.

OVERALL

This episode is one of my favourites. I mean in the WHOLE SERIES. It was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute. The writing, the direction, the editing, the music cues were spot on. Richard Speight Jr NAILED IT. I hope he directs again. This season just keeps getting better and better. There is so much going on I can hardly get my thoughts in order, but to summarise:

We have two new yellow eyed demons who are gonna be PISSED when they realise their brother has been killed.

We have Lucifer trapped in a cage poisoning Crowley’s mind.

The BMOL have the Colt. THE COLT.

Mary is the betrayer in the midst. She is working for the BMOL behind her son’s backs.

Kelly Kline is still missing with Lucifer’s baby. Dagon has “taken an interest”.

The “cosmic consequences” are still outstanding.

Cas loves his family. His family is canonically the Winchesters. He is no longer an “angel of the lord/heaven”.

The Winchesters love Cas. Canonically. They would die for him.

Crowley puts the Winchesters and Castiel above his own need for power and personal gain.

Destiel is canon

Okay so I may have added the last point in as a joke, but we are so not far off guys. We have the building blocks in place. Slowly but surely we are getting there and we are already so much further along than I would have hoped. I do think that we will get an undeniable confession of romantic love from Cas’s side at least this season. If not by him directly, then by someone else (my money is on Crowley or Mary) pointing it out to him and him not denying it. Basically, we are in a really positive place. Dabb is doing a brilliant job of answering all our questions, questions we have had for YEARS about plot holes and mystery points left open to interpretation. I am convinced that this will only get better. God I love him. I always knew Andrew Dabb would do an amazing job when he first took over as showrunner, but in my wildest dreams I didn’t think he would give us so much so soon. We are truly blessed right now. This series has majorly improved since the atrocity of season 10. they seem to have LEARNT from that . This is wonderful. I couldn’t be happier.

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aboysbestfriendishismum · 7 years

Text

Chapter 43 - Exes, camp fires and big mouths (Part Two)

In the previous chapter: Eddie, Jeff and Laura go to the Rock Candy club to meet the others. Once they get there, Eddie mistakes Angie’s dad for the typical adult man hitting on young girls, making a fool of himself. Ray immediately forgives him though, he senses Eddie likes his daughter and has simpathy for him. Ray gets on well with Stone too and the two of them make fun of Angie. Ray reveals his daughter’s real name is Angelina, which is her grandma’s name. Eddie tries to tell Angie about his feelings during the concert, but she thinks he’s just trying to tell her she’s only a good friend for him and she’s afraid Eddie has somehow figured out her recent little fixation on him. Somebody pours a drink over Mike McCready’s head.

***

“Hey! What the fu-” the wimp brazenly stands up, as if he’s ready to kill the person who’s just watered him. Sit back, honey, you’re not scarying anyone. Anyway, he comes off his high horse as soon as he sees his girlfriend standing right in front of him.

“Good evening you piece of shit” I’ve never seen Mel so mad. No, I’ve never seen her mad at anyone in general before I inadvertently told her about Mike’s little forgetfulness. I accidentally unleashed a fury and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

“Melanie! What… what are you doing here? You didn’t call back and I thought you weren’t coming…” his girlfriend baptizes him with a drink and insults him and he doesn’t even ask for an explanation, he’s just surprised to see her. This relationship was meant to drown anyway, regardless my intervention.

“I didn’t call because I didn’t want to hear your stupid voice!”

“Uh. Ok. But you’re listening to it right now, so…” I don’t understand if he’s dumb or just playing it.

“Shut up, asshole”

“Hi guys, hi Eddie!” I chime in during a break in their not so pleasant conversation and take the opportunity to say hello, even though my waving hand fails at catching the attention of the people round the table, who are all focused on the quarrelling couple. Eddie gives me a half bad look, then goes back to listening what boyfriend and girlfriend say without answering to me. There’s a guy I’ve never seen before who’s sitting beside him. I guess we gotta put introductions off until later.

“Now what? Won’t you say anything?” Mel looks angrily at him.

“Well you told me to shut up”

“God, I hate you!”

“Wait, is there something wrong?” what?! Nooooo, what makes you think something’s going on?!

“Something wrong… he wants to know if something’s wrong!” the girl turns towards me to share her disbelief “Tell him what’s wrong!”

At this point the gang finally acknowledges my presence too, since everyone turns to look at me, waiting for answers. Their faces are different, but look the same in some particular aspects as I look at each one of them: perplexed, dropped jaw, confused stare, embarrassment. But it’s when I look at Meg that I realize my plan could as well fail: first of all, because she’s so fucking hot and so easily, she’s hot just by wearing a fucking plaid shirt that’s buttoned up to the neck and plain denim shorts, whereas I wandered from shop to shop all the afternoon to find the tightest leather pants ever invented, which I had to adapt my breathing process to, and a black tulle top made of a very small amount of fabric, and that small amount is totally see through, except for two invisible dark spots covering the nipples and not much more; not to mention the torture I had to endure from Melanie before going out, when she was doing my hair while ranting against that moron of her boyfriend and basically pulled out 75% of them. And all this for what? To get disgustingly catcalled by a couple of losers at the bar? Not to mention Eddie and his total incapability at giving any kind of gratification: wether you’re naked or have a parka on, it’s the same for him. Maybe that girl down there is right, in the end: just wear a fucking tracksuit and fuck off! No, well, that’s too much, I can’t. Honestly I don’t understand, how can you go out on a saturday night wearing a tracksuit? I’ve never worn a tracksuit, not even at the gym, I’ve never owned one and I’d never wear anything like that even if I was stuck at home, I can’t think of a more mortifying piece of clothing. Ok, it’s Angie so hiding is surely much better than showing, but this… this means not having a single ounce of love for yourself. And it’s always the same tracksuit, I hope she washes it once in a while…

The second reason why I’m afraid the plan’s gonna fail is Meg’s presence itself: I mean, blondie won’t necessarily throw her arms around the loser guitarist after all the fuzz, she could as well take it bad. I’d better not risk.

“Well, uhm, I don’t want to intrude, it’s about you… it’s private… what about you go and talk it over somewhe-” I put my hand on her shoulder and gently motion for her to leave with that poor excuse for a boyfriend, but she doesn’t give a fuck about me, she just dodges me and goes back talking to him.

“The problem is your an insensitive jerk and that you’ve been making fun of me for months, laughing at me behind my back with your friends” Mel barks out her anger against the whole table, heavy silence follows, then everybody starts to clamor.

“But no, why?” Laura murmurs, almost afraid to talk too loud.

“Who made fun of you?” Jeff echoes.

“Why should we laugh at you?” Angie adds.

“I’ve never laughed at you, I like you” Chris wants to be part of it.

“I’ve never laughed, in general, never laughed in my life, I don’t know how to do it” Stone must tell his fucking jokes in moments like this too.

“I’ve never laughed at you, I’ve never seen you before” the mysterious moustache man can’t shut up, he must be a friend of Stone’s.

The others are just stammering out random things as they shake their heads no looking confused, Meg included. Fortunately. I can’t imagine what’d happen if Meg opened her mouth right now. Oh well, I imagine it now: Mel would wipe her from the face of earth. The more I think about it the better it looks.

“What the fuck are you talking about, love? What did you smoke? And, most of all, did you bring some?” Mike apparently doesn’t know he’s close to the end of his life so he has the guts to joke.

“Now, how long have we been together, Mike? Huh? How long?” Mel takes a long breath and goes on, pretending not to hear neither the word love or McCready’s joke, not because she doesn’t want to offend him, but rather because she wants to get straight to the point and then insult him with a reason.

“Did he forget anniversary or something?” the guy I don’t know asks Eddie in a not so low voice, as the singer shrugs.

“Anniversary? They’ve been dating for a couple of months…” Laura soon explains, with a lower tone, but perfectly audible.

“A couple of months, exactly!” Mike replies pointing at Laura who suggested the answer “Why?”

“Ok, so two months of completely wasted time! But it’s my fault, I’m the idiot who thought you really cared”

“But… I care about you, you know!”

“Sure, you care so much you’re still fucking your ex in the meantime”

Now everybody, apart from the unknown guy, is staring at Meg, who seems to notice a little later.

“What? Why are you looking at me? She must be talking about another ex, I don’t-”

“No, darling, I’m talking right about you!”

“Haha what?! You must be joking, girl, you’re wrong” Meg scornfully retorts, sitting straight on the chair, while Mr X turns to ask Eddie something, he probably doesn’t know the gang’s dynamics and doesn’t know Meg and Mike used to be together.

“She’s right, Mel, look, there’s nothing going on anymore between me and Meg” the unfortunate confirms, still dripping with gin sour.

“Nothing anymore, huh? And before? What was going on before?”

“Before? Before what? I didn’t cheat on you with her, I swear to god” right now it’s not just the guys at the table, people around us in the club are getting hooked to the story too.

“But you were with her before getting with me, right?”

“Well, yeah, but… what does it mean? What is that? Retroactive jealousy?” Meg bites back at her in Mike’s place and she doesn’t know how dangerous it is to play with fire.

“Shut up, slut”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?” Meg stands up and almost knocks over chair and table, it takes Jeff and Chris together to hold her back and have her sit down again.

“Mel, don’t you think you’re overreacting? You’re making a fucking mess for nothing, Meg’s just a friend, there’s nothing going on behind your back”

“So there’s nothing going on? Then, if you’ve got nothing to hide, why didn’t you tell me she used to be your girlfriend?” Mel’s clenching her fists against her hips, basically the same position taken by Meg a second later, when she stands up again shaking the table.

“WHAT?!” the blond girl shouts.

“Ehm… what do you mean? Didn’t I tell you? But you knew that… you knew that, right?”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know if nobody ever told me?! You didn’t tell me and none of these fuckers did” Mel points at the fuckers without taking her eyes away from Mike, the unknown long haired guy looks around snickering.

“I should have taken some popcorn at the bar” he says, Stone looks and nods at him while Angie reproaches both of them in a low voice.

“You’re saying you didn’t know?” Meg walks a few steps towards my friend and her attitude is more accommodating, at least with her, because the look she gives to Mike in the meantime is of pure hate.

Fuck.

“Sure I didn’t know, don’t play dumb”

“But the first time the three of us met at the Crocodile you said it was such a coincidence, or something like that…”

“The coincidence was that my boss and his sister knew the guy I was dating, that’s it! I didn’t know about the rest”

“Now I understand why you were behaving like that! I thought your being all friendly was an act. And the way you were always showing off the fact you were with Mike, I thought you were doing on purpose to get on my nerves!”

“Oh no, I had no fucking clue! I thought you were just one of his friends. And you act all friendly too anyway…” Mel seems to calm down a little, not letting down her guard though.

“I was just trying to grin and bear it! And I didn’t want you to think I was still interested in Mike or something”

“Uhm, I’m right here anyway” Mike feels left out in the conversation and doesn’t know he’d better thank god for this temporary distraction of the two girls.

“Unfortunately” “And who cares?” they answer at the same time.

“Baby, I don’t know what to say… I thought you knew, you work for her brother, I also went to the car salon with Meg a couple of times, when we were still together”

“I don’t remember ever seeing you together, maybe I wasn’t there! But you should have mentioned it anyway, once at least, even by chance”

“Together? Oh no, there must be a mistake, we’ve never been together, Mikey. Melanie, dear, I gotta put in a good word for the asshole here,” Meg starts her show and McCready can do nothing but sit back down and wait for the storm to pass “because he acted in good faith: he didn’t tell you I’m his ex because he doesn’t see me that way, because he never considered me as his girfriend, but only as someone to have fun with”

“Meg…” the poor guy tries to complain, but he’s between a rock and a hard place, and he’d better shut up.

“If you don’t believe me, ask Eddie. Eddie, what did Mike told you that night at the Off Ramp when you asked him about me? When you said ‘oh your girlfriend seems nice’? Come on, tell her!”

“Well actually… err… I don’t remember the exact words…” Eddie stutters as he’s carefully inspecting his fingernails.

“I’ll tell you then: he told him I wasn’t his girlfriend, what the hell, I was just a random chick he was having fun with. Which is also the reason I told him to fuck off and dumped him”

“Really? What a jerk!” answers Melanie, who now seems to have put aside her rage against the girl, to give it all to Mike.

“Yeah… so don’t be surprised if he didn’t tell you about me, I mean, I’m surely not worth mentioning. He was probably ashamed, weren’t you Mike?”

“You know I wasn’t and you know it’s not like that, but anything I say by now it’s pointless, right?” the loser says the first smart thing of the night.

“Come on, guys, don’t act like that, it was just a misunderstanding. I mean, we never told Melanie either, but it was not on purpose, we thought you knew, everybody knows, right?” Cornell stands up and tries to calm the girls down, and his friends sitting at the table agree.

“Ok, but he’s my boyfriend and Meg is in his group of friends, friends he goes out with all the time. How would Susan take it if someone told her you keep seeing your ex? And most of all, if this someone wasn’t you?”

“I’ll answer that: I’d take it bad, very bad. But I’d hurt him worse, be sure about that” Susan feels she needs to step up into the conversation since she’s been mentioned and she answers with a just apparently reassuring smile, which has her boyfriend sit back up and shut his mouth.

“What an asshole… and all this time I couldn’t decide if you were crazy or just pretentious, considering how you were acting around me” Meg goes on folding her arms.

“I had no idea! Anyway… there was something actually, sometimes I sensed something, a weird attitude towards me, but I thought it was just the typical reaction to my exuberance… I’m sorry I upset you without knowing” Melanie officially formalizes the peace with Meg and I’m afraid these two will end up joining forces.

“Nah, don’t worry, it’s not your fault! I apologize for never mentioning the thing between me and Mike, honestly I didn’t want to pry into your private lives”

“Don’t even think about it, you’re not the one to blame” Meg gives another nasty look to her, what, boyfriend? Ex boyfriend? Ex boyfriend I think. And I’m ok with that. What I’m not ok with is that now he’s a super ex for Meg too, I mean, the girl must have crossed it out for good by now. And if Meg doesn’t get back with Mike she remains single and if she’s single, Eddie could decide to confess his feelings to her, most of all with no sense of guilt towards McCready. I’m in deep shit. And it’s all Mike McAsshole’s fault. Couldn’t he just dump her with a random excuse like everyone does?

“What about we go and drink it over, there’s no better way to make things right after a fight” Meg puts an arm around my friend’s shoulders and they both smile.

“Ok, I’m in. But I’m buying the drinks!”

“Don’t even think about that, it’s on me”

“Well, let’s just take turns buying rounds, period”

“You’re a genius”

“Thank you. And I warn you I don’t mean to go home sober tonight”

“Neither do I, don’t worry, we can share a cab afterwards”

“A cab? Aren’t you coming with me?” Angie timidly asks.

“Right. And don’t forget the bonfire party at Discovery Park” adds Jeff.

“Don’t worry Angie, I’ll see you at home. Anyway… nah, honestly I don’t feel like going to that party, it’s too cold outside. And I need a change… no offence but I’d rather not see any of your faces, at least for a while. Bye” Meg leaves with Melanie and gives me some hope right in the end. She’s just said she wants to change, right? See other people, other than her usual friends. So she doesn’t want to see Eddie either. I’m still in the game!

Silence reigns over the table and the curious people around us in the club go back minding their own business. Now we’re all hanging off Mike’s words, waiting for a comment, a reaction, something, anything.

“What the hell, Mikey?” Jeff is the first one to say something, since the guy won’t say a word.

“What do you want from me? I was sure she knew! I’m a nobody, but everybody knows Meg” McCready jabbers.

“I don’t think this is the right time to play the victim, Mike” says Kim, who didn’t say anything until now.

“No, sure, I’m no victim! I’m the guilty one! It’s all my fault, just mine, right Violet?” Mike is talking to his friends, then suddenly turns to face me.

“Me? I’ve got nothing to do with this” I look around pretending to be surprised.

“Happy now? Great plan!” he insists and if I don’t have him shut up immediately, this fucker will spit it all out.

“Plan? I don’t know what you’re talking about. And no offence, but what you do doesn’t remotely influence my happiness, I don’t care about you”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure. Anyway if you wanted to make things work, you could as well come up with your plan”

“I guess I lack some parts of the plot” the stranger says as he looks at me and Mike.

“I guess we lack them too” Chris replies. If this jerk lets something out right when Bigmouth Cornell is around, whole Seattle will know by tomorrow morning. Joining forces with a loser won’t certainly do any good to my reputation.

“There’s no plot, I’ve just never liked Mike very much because of how he treated my friend and I’ve never hidden that from him”

“Oh yeah, sure you’re the frank one who always tells what she thinks, without stratagems or tricks…” McCready stands and walks up to the bar and only now takes a bunch of paper napkins to dry himself.

“What do you mean?” I ask yawning when he comes back near me.

“Oh nothing, I don’t need to tell you anything. Somebody will and if it happened tonight, I’d gladly stay here and enjoy the view of your face in that moment… if only I didn’t have this sudden urge to go and take a ride. Somewhere else. Bye guys! See you at the gallery. Maybe”

“Come on, Mikey, don’t be an asshole, where the fuck are you going?!” Jeff tries to call his friend back with his usual gentleman attitude.

“You fucked up badly, ok, but we love you anyway.” Stone says “And we need you in the band”

“And then, fucked up, I mean… it wasn’t that bad, just a little fuck up, not so serious” Chris shakes his head and giggles, until he doesn’t make eye contact with his girlfriend again.

“Jesus, I’m not quitting the band, I’m just disappearing for a while to ponder on this… little fuck up, ok? Bye” Mike turns around and leaves just like that, ignoring his friend’s complaints.

“Come on, let him go, let him chill out a little, everything will be alright in the end” the nameless guy adds and I can’t resist anymore. And, considering the hell that has just happened, I believe it’s my due to enlighten the atmoshpere.

“By the way, hi! Who are you? I’ve never seen you before” I stretch out my hand towards him, who gives me an obscure look.

“I’m Ray, nice to meet you” he takes his cigarette with the other hand and briefly shakes mine.

“He’s Angie’s dad!” Laura adds with a honestly unjustified enthusiasm.

“Oh really? Nice to meet you Mr Pacifico”

“Call me Ray, please”

“Ok, nice to meet you Ray, Angie’s such a sweet girl” I look at her as she smiles awkwardly and it’s true after all, she never bothered me or gave me problems, I mean, she even gave me useful information about Eddie. Anyway, that doesn’t mean I like her in any way. I find her boring and pathetic, the stereotype of the nerd loser who pretends to be cynical to be cool, and then? Here she is, the little girl going out and bringing her dad with her!

“I know, I know, and it’s all because of me of course! And you are…?”

“Oh right! Hehe that was rude of me. I’m Violet, Eddie’s girlfriend”

“WHAT?!” instead of his typical deep voice, Eddie produces a never heard before high pitched note.

“Nice ehm to meet you, Violet” Ray looks at Eddie, then at me, then Eddie again.

“it’s not true, why do you have to say that?” baby blues asks looking exasperated.

“Hahaha come on, don’t get mad at me, I was just kidding!”

“So is she his girlfriend or not?” Ray asks Stone, but I think Angie’s dad is getting old because what was meant to be said in a low voice is once again perfectly understandable.

“No, I’m not…” I answer in the same moment Stone shakes his head no “Yet”

Eddie must not have liked the word I added last minute, he stands up and it looks like he wants to leave too and everybody’s looking at him like they’re sure they’re about to attend another show. Eddie actually walks away, but as he does, without even looking at me, he grabs me by the arm and drags me away with him wherever he’s going to. I follow him without complaining of course.

Eddie stops right in front of the restrooms, then turns around and finally looks at me, his brow is furrowed though.

“I’d have chosen a nicer place to spend some time together, but…” I try and hug him, but I can’t.

“Violet, I thought I was clear the last time”

“The last time… right… When was the last time? We haven’t seen each other for ages” I pout.

“And there must be a reason for that, don’t you think?”

“Ah ah. Anyway, why are you keeping me away? I just wanted to console you, as a friend”

“Yeah sure”

“You’re alway so prejudiced against me…”

“And who knows why? Anyway, console me for what? I’m fine”

“For the thing about Meg. You can try and kid the others, but I know what’s really happening to you, I know you”

“Meg? What’s up with Meg?”

“I know what’s up with her and you do too. It’s a pity though, now that you could stand a chance with her, she doesn’t want to see anyone”

“You don’t know shit”

“Oh! You’re here… ehm, sorry, I just have to… you know... go…” an annoying voice interrupts us and it could only be the nerd’s.

“Hey, nice bag! Where did you get it? I want it too” I stop Angie as she’s walking towards the ladies room door.

“Thank you… well, it’s a present so I don’t really know”

“I wanna buy one for my little niece, I bought her one that was the shape of an ice cream cone, but she basically ate it. That little girl chews on everything with those four small teeth she’s got!”

“I can ask if you want. Now I, ehm, gotta go” Angie points at the restroom and quickly gets in.

“Why do you have to be like that?” Eddie asks and his looks is even nastier than before.

“Be what?”

“A bitch”

“Why? Umph, what did I do now?!” I puff and complain loudly.

“Your sister has a baby boy, you’ve got no nieces”

“Oh come on, it was just a joke”

“A stupid joke. You implied she’s a little girl”

“Jesus Christ, you’re so harsh, I was just kiddin’! Listen, I’m gonna apologize as soon as she gets out, ok?” I can see she’s a friend to him, but I didn’t think she was untouchable. I must be careful and avoid talking shit about her. It wasn’t that bad though, it was just a little innocent joke. I mean, if you go around with a camera-shaped bag you should expect it somehow, right?

“And you’re way off about Meg” Eddie changes the subject and he finally says something I’m interested in.

“Eddie, I’m not stupid, I figured out she’s the girl you’re into”

“Hahahahah you didn’t understand anything!” Eddie basically bursts out laughing at my face and his angry expression suddenly turns into an amused one. Typical hysterical reaction.

“Oh yeah, sure, it’s not her! It’s this infamous stranger I’ve never met!”

“Hehe ok, I told you a little lie: you met her and you know her, but it’s not Meg”

“Excuse me?” I think I didn’t hear right.

“It’s not Meg”

“No?” is he seriously telling me I made all this mess with Mel and Mike for no reason?

“No” he looks sincere.

Fuck.

“Who’s she then?” who’s the slut?

“Why should I tell you? So you can elaborate another plan against her too?” he says and he caught me.

“Plan? What plan? You don’t believe in Mike’s rant, do you?”

“But maybe if I told you, you’d just stop bothering me and accept it” he goes on, scratching on his chin, in a thinker pose.

“Yes, exactly! That’s why I wanna know, until I don’t know the truth, it’s difficult for me to turn the page, can’t you understand?” just say this fucking name.

“I don’t know…”

“Oh my god, is it… Laura?! Your best friend’s girlfriend!”

“Please, friends’ girlfriends are sacred!”

“It’s Grace then! Technically she’s not with Stone yet, so…”

“It’s not Grace. It’s a person who’s here tonight”

I instinctively look at the now far table of Eddie’s friends, the only girl left, apart from Laura, is Susan and it can’t be her, considering what he’s just said about friends’ girlfriends. Who the fuck is it? Unless…

“Wait, you said… a person… not a girl… shit, don’t tell me you’re gay?! Although that’d explain a lot…”

“Sure, since I don’t want you I must be gay… Violet, no, nothing bad about it, but I’m not gay. The person is actually a girl” he replies and at this point I extremely carefully examine the portion of the club that’s visible from the bathrooms.

“Who’s it then? The girl from the gallery? Is she here? I didn’t see her”

“It’s not her, it’s a girl you saw and talked to tonight” he insists and looks at me as if I was stupid but I don’t get it.

“Melanie?” shit, that’d be a hell of a plot twist!

“Holy shit, Violet, no! You really don’t get it? You’ve been here for a few minutes, you surely didn’t talk to hundreds of people since you got here!”

“The barmaid?” I ask after thinking it over for a while.

“NO!”

“Who is this girl then? Can’t you just tell me?!”

“IT’S ANGIE! ANGIE! I. LIKE. ANGIE.! YOU’RE PROBABLY THE ONLY PERSON IN SEATTLE WHO DIDN’T NOTICE I HAVE A CRUSH ON HER!” he yells at my face, so loud that he almost messes up my hair, and I’m dumbfounded for a while.

“Angie?”

“Yes! Oh, I feel better now that I told you. Thinking about it, you’re the first person I tell this… it’s such a beautiful feeling” Eddie smiles satisfied and I’m still confused.

“But… Angie who?” I ask, still in the dark.

“What do you mean who? Angie! The one Angie you made fun of five minutes ago!” he retorts pointing at the bathroom and this finally turns the lights up in my brain.

“ANGIE?! THAT ANGIE?!” I growl just one second before that nerd comes out of the bathroom.

“Yes, so what?”

“Here I am… ehm, were you talking about me?” the fat bitch walks up to us and the moment I see them, one next to the other, it’s like someone turned off another button in my head. A very peculiar button, since I start laughing. But not in a normal way, if not at the beginning. At first it’s a quite whispered laugh, but it soon turns into a sequence of incoherent barks, punctuated by equally loud attempts at breathing.

“Is it alright?” she asks, looking at me first, then at her sweetheart, and this just makes me laugh even more coarsely, getting me weird looks from the people coming from and going to the bathroom.

“I’m afraid not” Eddie shrugs and I try to stop and keep it straight for a moment, panting as I try, but then Angie opens her mouth once more.

“Did you take drugs or something?” she asks and I explode again.

I shake my head and leave, walking towards the losers table, where I left my bag, still laughing. They stop whatever they were doing or talking about as soon as they see me (or hear me) and don’t take they’re eyes off me as I take my stuff back.

“Violet? Are you ok?” that innocent angel called Laura is the first one to talk.

I nod without stopping laughing and as I walk away I can hear what Stone and Ray say.

“But… is it always like this when you guys go out?”

“Nah, actually tonight’s kinda toned down, nothing happened really”

******************************************************************************************************************************************************

“So are we going to this fucking bonfire party or not?” the bass player has just nodded and winked at a girl with curly hair I always see at our shows, then he’s like “Betty and her friends are coming over for sure”

“Where do you wanna go with this wreck?” I answer pointing at Jerry, bent face down on the table, his arms shielding his head. He’s been like this for half an hour maybe.

“I’m not going anywhere” mumbles our friend from under his hair.

“Haha let me tell you, man, I’m sorry but you’re so unlucky, you’re such a loser!” Starr, who’s really got a natural talent for cheering people up, pats the guitarist on the back a couple of times and he just moves his hands around to wave him off, without looking up.

“Actually… with all the people at the Rock Candy… you had to run right into Angie’s dad!” Layne remarks and at least he seems to have a little pity for Cantrell.

I have pity too, I see nothing seems to go in the right direction for him lately, but he can’t even keep on indulging in pity party.

“I told you not to go, but you? Nah, you always do what you want without listening” I told him to come here to the Ok Hotel, but he preferred to go spying on Angie who’s going on with her life without him, something he can’t do instead. Or maybe it’s just that he doesn’t want to yet.

“When I stopped doing what I wanted and started listening, that’s when all my problems started” Jerry quickly looks up to snarl at me, then he flops on the table again.

I shake my head and focus on my drink, while Layne tries to cheer him up with better argumentation.

“Come on, it’s not that bad… I mean, you didn’t tell him you were talking about his daughter. And I don’t think Angie’ll ever tell him, why would she?”

“Yeah, sure, you don’t have to worry about it, he will never now!” Mike goes along.

“Do you think so?” the voice from the underworld asks.

“Angie didn’t tell her friends, do you really think she’d tell her dead?” I add to reassure him more.

“You’re right, I’ve got nothing to be afraid of” Jerry straightens up and takes his hair away from her face.

“Unless it’s Angie’s dad who tells her something, then you’d be fucked up for real” Starr has a lot of skills, but being able to understand when he should talk and when he’d better shut the fuck up is not one of them.

“Oh fuck” Jerry’s once again face down on the table and now he’s even punching it.

“Hey hi Mikey!” Layne says hello to someone behind my back and in a few seconds Mike McCready shows up, looking like someone who had better days. He then take a seat at our booth.

“What’s wrong with him?” he asks pointing at what’s left of Cantrell.

“He thinks he made the shittiest figure of the century” Starr replies.

“I think?” whines Jerry.

“Seriously, I doubt her dad will tell her something: why should he tell her about the love problems of a guy who, as far as he knows, he’s just an acquaintance for her?” I try and put some order in this mess giving rational answers to Jerry’s irrational fears and it seems to work, since Jerry’s now sitting straight and looking at me.

“Right, why would he tell her?” he asks himself looking in the distance.

“Did you meet Angie’s dad?” Mike asks and Jerry reluctantly nods.

“Did you talk to Angie’s dad about you and Angie?” McCready asks again and I’m kind of surprised.

“You know that?” I ask and Jerry follows.

“How do you know?”

“Meg told me. When she still used to talk to me”

“Well, to me it looks like you buried the hatchet a long time ago, right?” Layne playfully chimes in.

“It was just dug up though: I fucked up badly” the guitarist says and the mood is dark once again. What’s happening tonight? This is turning into heartbroken club, what the hell!

“Did you tell Meg’s dad how many times you cheated on his daughter?” Starr asks sarcastically, earning a nasty look from Cantrell.

“No, much worse”

Now the Losers Anonymous meeting starts and Mike tells us about what happened at the Rock Candy with Meg and Mel. Meg and Mel, shit, he even chose two girls with a similar name.

“Well, but you took for granted that she knew, you didn’t lie, you just… forgot to tell part of the truth” Starr states, clearing his namesake friend from blame.

“But Mel asked me a lot of times about my exes and I told her, but I always avoided mentioning Meg… not because I wanted to hide it from her, but… I don’t know why, maybe because she’s someone I’m still hanging out with. Anyway I didn’t do it on purpose. And now she must think I did”

“Just tell her, explain it to her. I mean, not now, because she must be furious now, let her calm down a little then try to talk to her” it looks like I can’t undress the part of the psychologist of the group.

“Ok, but her who?” loser number two of the day says and I’m dumbfounded for a second.

“What do you mean?” Cantrell asks because he probably didn’t understand shit and I’m not surprised since he’s half drunk too.

“Who do I talk to? Who should I make things up with? Mel or Meg?”

“Uh! Well, you should know that” Layne flails his arms

“I don’t know though, I mean, sometimes I think I know what I want, but a minute later doubts are back”

“Guys, no offence, but it’s like the wailing wall here. I’m going to the bonfire party and I’d do the same if I were you” Starr stands up and snorts, with his usual tact.

“Meg said she wouldn’t go, but what if she changes her mind? And what if they’re both there? I can’t risk, I’m not going” Mike gives up.

“Is Angie going?” Jerry asks right away.

“I think so” says his bad luck buddy.

“Definitely not fucking going, sorry man”

“Ball and chain, that’s what you are! Well, come on, Sean, Layne, let’s go and leave these two crying over their usless lives alone”

“Uhmm I don’t know, I don’t really feel like going, I’ll just have one more beer then go home” Layne turns Starr down too, then goes to the bar.

“Ok, fuck you all then! What about you Sean, will you stand me up too?” Starr gives me a challenging look.

“Relax, man, I’m coming to that fucking party! But later, now it’s too early” I was honestly thinking about staying here just to make sure Jerry is safe, but since Layne’s not coming he’d take care of these two assholes.

“Anyway, it’s not about the cheating” Jerry comes out with this out of nowhere.

“What?”

“The problem’s not the cheating. I mean, also, but that’s not the worst thing I told him”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Starr asks as he lights up a cigarette.

“Angie’s father, what the hell do you think I’m talking about?!”

“How am I supposed to know? We were talking about the bonfire party then you say this totally random thing!” well, this time Starr’s right.

“And what’s the worst thing?” the other Mike, the sad one, asks.

“Fuck” in a second Jerry’s face to face with the table again and it takes us ages to pull him back up.

“Come on, Jerry, what did you tell him?” Layne is back with a beer for him and one for Mike and is suggesting to just spit it out.

“Please, what could you have said that is so bad!” I exclaim.

“Are you ashamed of your friends? Look, we’re already expecting the worst from you in general, no need to worry about shocking us” Starr manages to make Mike McCready laugh, Jerry’s still far from reaching that goal.

“I told him about… the sex”

“Sex? What sex?” Layne asks taken aback.

“Sex… between Angie and I”

“What? Are you crazy?!” Starr’s reaction is the most surprising one.

“You said you were expecting the worst!”

“Ok, but that’s ridiculous. Let’s forget it was Angie’s dad, 'cause you had no idea… but… fuck, you’re making small talk with a random stranger at a bar and you tell him about fucking your ex girlfriend?! That’s… sick!”

“I was mildly drunk! I was talking about her and thoughts just came… then he came out with the typical maybe you were fucking girls around because you weren’t getting enough from her and that’s when I started ranting…”

“Oh well, so you told him you were fucking with the girl who was your girlfriend, so what? Everybody fucks, I don’t think he was shocked or something” I shrug it off.

“So were you getting enough from her or not?” Starr asks and I never wanted to strangle him so much since I met him, and he gave me a lot of reasons from the very beginning of our friendship, when I wasn’t in the band yet and was dating his sister and he was always in the way, always following us around not to leave us alone.

“Mind your own fucking business!”

“Why? You tell strangers and not your best friends?” he retorts, pretending to be offended.

“Given the reaction, I think he did” McCready probably recovered a little because he found out someone’s doing way worse than him. And misery loves company, right?

“Yes, I did, I got enough, I got so much, we fucked every single day. And she was really good at it too! Are you happy now?”

“I’m not, I didn’t want to know really” Layne looks quite embarrassed.

“I am, for you, at least you got something from this senseless relationship”

“Mike, I swear to god, if you don’t stop I’ll punch your face so hard…” Jerry threatens our bass player.

“Hahaha come on, one can’t even joke now!”

“Joke with someone else”

“I don’t give a shit about how often you fucked Angie, but at least now I understand why you were with her”

“Shut up, Mike” I warn him and he snorts.

“Ok, sorry Jerry, didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I apologize”

“Ok, I forgive you, just shut up now”

“Anyway Sean’s right, you didn’t tell him anything shocking, you had a ehm lively sex life with your girlfriend, so what? And again, this doesn’t sound like a subject he’d later discuss with his daughter” Layne intervenes trying to calm Jerry and to prevent any other joke by our not so empathetic bass player.

“Yes, you’re right, no need to worry”

“Yes”

“Nothing happened”

“Exactly”

“I mean, something happened, but the only witnesses of this shitty figure of mine are him and I and he’s not even aware of the fact it was a shitty figure, and we’ll probably never meet again and none of us will ever mention the other’s name during any conversation”

“Oh! You’re finally coming to your senses then. Nothing bad happened, period” Starr encourages him.

“But I managed to make Angie angry, without doing anything” Jerry goes on with a desolate face.

“Why? What did she tell you?” Mike asks, he can’t believe he can actually forget his own problems and focus on his colleague’s ones.

“She didn’t tell me anything, of course! I ran away as soon as she arrived and we didn’t speak, but the face she made when she saw me sitting at the bar with her dad was enough”

“That doesn’t mean anything, she has a disgusted face every time she sees you, she’s already mad at you, you can’t do worse” maybe that was a little tactless, I took something from Mike Starr’s style this time. I’m just being honest though.

“Not too much worse at least” McCready adds.

“Say, worse than what you already did, that’s quite impossible” the bassist puts out the cigarette in the ashtray he borrowed from the nearby table.

“Ok but what if she thinks I did it on purpose? Look for her dad and talk to him?”

“And why would you do that? To kill yourself?” I ask perplexed.

“That. And why do you care what she thinks anyway? Can’t you understand you gotta forget that girl? We’re tired of repeating you” Starr scolds him as he lights up another cigarette right away, blowing smoke in the guitarist’s face.

“Yeah yeah, I know, I’m not stupid! Angie’s done with me and she thinks I’m an asshole, but I don’t want her to think I’m… that much of asshole. Such an asshole that has fun torturing her and making her uncomfortable on purpose with… I don’t know… pants dropped down, pointless fits of jealousy, transmission of embarrassing sexual diseases, conversations about how good she was at sucking dick and ill-timed presents ending up in the dustbin and so on. As if dumping me wasn’t enough and she needed to, I don’t know, leave the state to prevent me from hurting her in any way” Jerry throws his banter addressing none of us in particular, just staring at the bottom of his longtime empty glass, from which he then tries to get a few more non existing drops of beer.

“And of course the examples you mentioned are just generic examples that actually have got nothing to do with your story, right?” McCready inquires, maybe kind of shocked.

“Please, tell us they’ve got nothing to do with your actual story… except for when you pulled down your pants and showed her your dick because I personally witnessed that sad show” Starr insists after Jerry just stared at McCready without answering.

Jerry still doesn’t say anything and his non answer speaks volumes. Silence takes over our table, but it’s temporary.

“You’re a fucking walking catastrophe, Jerry” Layne says after a waitress cleans our table from the empty glasses, giving way to a wave of laughter from Starr. And from me, although I try to hold it back.

“There’s nothing to laugh about, you jerks”

“You’re right, no, you’re right, sorry, sorry!” I wipe out the tears in my eyes with the back of my hand.

“I’m trying to open up to my friends and you just laugh at me, don’t complain if I don’t ever tell you anything” Cantrell grumbles and he’s got the biggest frown I’ve ever seen.

“No but, it’s our fault actually. Because we asked! From now on don’t ever tell us anything, please, don’t open up anymore!” Starr says between fits of laughter.

“You can count on that”

“Come on, you have to admit you’d laugh too if it was about someone else” McCready remarks and he’s not bending with laughter like us, but he can’t hide an amused grin.

“Oh yeah, sure, especially if it was about this two.” he replies pointing at us, then goes on with a wicked smile on his face “Or if you want I could have a laugh about the fact Melanie’s single now. Oh wait, would you give me her number? AH-AH-AH”

“Touché” Mike admits being defeated with a shrug, with no clamor.

“Ok, we’ve had enough, let’s just stop now. Let’s talk about serious stuff” Starr slaps his hand hard on the wooden table trying to bring back order.

“Finally, it was about time” Cantrell nods. He trusts our bassist too much.

“Let’s talk about Angie’s skills” and I knew we shouldn’t trust him at all.

“Shut. That. Fucking. Mouth.”

“Four words you never told Angie, right?” Starr is the worst and we can’t help exploding in a collective laugh once again.

“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU” Jerry stands up from his chair and, not founding any blunt object, wields the car keys he takes from his pocket.

“As I've always said, girls who’re not that good looking have a leg up on the others”

“I’M GONNA SLAUGHTER YOU LIKE A PIG!”

********************************************************************************************************************************************

“But are people allowed into this park at night?” my daughter asks as she walks beside me, holding the flashlight we’re sharing with Eddie and Stone.

“Sure they are. And the only reason we got in through a hole in a net, instead of a main entrance, is that we wanted to make it a much more exciting experience for Ray” Stone answers as we walk on through what started as a pretty wide country road and slowly turned into a narrow trail worming its way into the woods.

“Oh. So we’re doing something… illegal?! Angie, tomorrow you’re packing your bags and coming back home, far away from these criminals” I say keeping a straight face, seconds before I hear the sound of stumbling feet and if I didn’t see that the torch light is still and steadily illuminating the trail and the surrounding vegetation, I’d bet that it’s my daughter who tripped.

“Fuck”

“Watch out, Jeffrey, if you roll down the trail we’re all fucked up, we’ll go down like bowling pins!” Stone picks on his bandmate, who’s in another group behind our back, and I wonder how long have they known each other, considering that, from what I saw, these two are always picking on each other like wife and husband.

“I didn’t fall, but if I did I’d be careful to aim at you only”

“Now I understand why you said comfortable clothes.” Angie says with a vaguely shaky voice, I don’t know if it’s for the cold or a little fear of the dark “And the trail is icy in a few spots”

The place is actually really fascinating and I thank god for bringing a flash unit that’s suited for snapping pictures in this context, but it doesn’t look like the ideal setting for a night party in January.

“Be careful you too” I tell her, circling her shoulder with my arm.

“I know, I know, I don’t wanna re-enact Indiana Jones’ boulder scene in Raiders of the lost ark”

“Asshole” I feel Eddie combines his remark with some kind of pat or nudge, that’s luckily really light and doesn’t give way to the just mentioned movie scene.

A little further down the trail we meet a series of stairs, a sign that we’re getting closer and closer to the beach. The sound of the waves, the cold breeze, the music and the chatter of those who got to the bonfire before us are the other signals.

“Are we almost there?” my hopeful daughter asks, when a set of stairs ends and the trail widens a little in a small clearing with two wooden benches in the middle.

“Was she so impatient during trips as a child too, Ray?” Christopher asks from the third group with a torch, actually the first since they come first before us.

“Always”

“Anyway if these raspberry bushes weren’t so tall, you’d already see the beach on your left, enjoying a wonderful view” the guy goes on, sitting on the backrest of one of the benches.

“Blackberries” I correct.

“Huh?”

“They’re blackberries, not raspberries” Angie confirms, walking up closer to the bushes with the torch.

“How can you say that? There’s no fruit on them…” Jeff's girlfriend asks when the last group gets to the clearing too.

“Raspberry’s plants are not this tall,” my baby answers pointing at the canes, which must be over 6,5 feet “they’re just as tall as me when in bloom”

“And blackberry’s thorns are harder” I add.

“I didn’t know you were into plants and stuff” Eddie gets closer to my daughter to examine the bush with her. Yeah, for that.

“Really, who would have thought! After all, she just comes from the mountains…” Stone says ironically as he climb and stands on the second bench, trying to look beyond the high barrier of plants.

“Haha I’m an expert because I can tell the difference between blackberries and raspberries?”

“Why did we stop here? Come on, let’s move on or we’ll get there tomorrow morning” Matt, I think, the blond guy who as far as I understood plays in Chris’ band, urges us to stop wasting time and get back on the trail and he’s right.

“Well, in that case we wouldn’t break any law, since the park opens at 4:30 in the morning” Stone remarks as he jumps off the bench.

We’re resuming our walk and, after a few more minutes of thick woods and stairs, the plants along the side of the road starts to get lower and sparser, awarding us with the promised great view, but at the same time depriving us of the natural barrier between us and the wind. I stop to take a couple of quick pictures without stopping the group, but without losing sight of them not to be left behind alone. When I rejoin my daugher and I’m about to hug her again I realize good Eddie’s arm has taken mine’s place. As soon as our arms 'bump’ into each other’s, we both let them flail down and while I look at him amused, he’s staring at the ground and puts his hands in his pockets. Angie doesn’t seem to notice or mind, she’s much more focused on pulling up her hoodie on her head to shield herself from the chilling air coming from the sea. I can’t help feeling vaguely out of place here, ruining Eddie’s awkward attempts with my daughter, which could also work with the help of the starry and exceptionally clear sky, the moon reflecting itself in the sea and the pretext of the cold weather. That is of course if I wasn’t here.

“Luckily Violet didn’t come with us, she’d have broken a leg with her heels” Jeff’s girlfriend points out.

“Or worse, she’d have asked Eddie to take her down in his arms. By the way, can you tell us what you told her?” Stone asks and I guess it’s the twentieth time.

“Nothing, I just told her I’m not interested and to stay away” his friend replies, more or less like he did the other nineteen times.

“And why did she leave laughing like that?” he insists.

“I don’t know, she must have taken it well.” he answers, then immediately drops the subject “Look, that must be it”

Following with my eye the imaginary line that starts from Eddie’s index finger, the guys and I spot some lights in a short distance, an apparently big fire behind the trees and other smaller ones closer to the beach, and it must be the party we’re going to, unless other people around here had the same crazy idea. Now that the destination is near we quicken up our pace, instinctively, without anybody telling the others to do that.

“What’s that down there? A lighthouse?” Angie asks and pulls her scarf up a little over her mouth.

“Yeah, it’s the Westpoint lighthouse. And the other white things are the base buildings” Jeff promptly explains, as he almost runs, holding his girlfriend tight.

“Base? What base?” she asks curious.

“The military base”

“MILITARY BASE?!” she yells slowing down and killing what little was left of my hearing in my right ear.

“Yes, why?”

“We’re going to have an illegal party behind the military’s back?!” she exclaims shocked.

“Hahahaha but it’s disused now, it closed like twenty years ago” jeff reassures her, and me.

“Uh ok, for a minute I thought I had stupid friends”

“Now there’s the Coast Guard and the Navy there” Stone adds.

“I correct myself: YOU ARE STUPID”

“So, what do you think about it?” Stone talks to the rest of his torch group as soon as we get to the windy beach, probably because we’re the only three people not knowing the place.

“This place is amazing” Eddie says, his eyes fixed on the dark waves.

“Sure, although it must be much more amazing in summer, in the daylight” Angie complains, her face buried into her scarf.

“Oh we’re always here in the summer. Here or at Gas Works Park or Kerry Park. Or in Alki” Jeff points out, as soon as he sits down on one of the many logs on the beach, next to a small firepit.

“And why the hell didn’t you take me here in summer instead of today?”

“Because we didn’t know you then, we didn’t know if we could trust you or not. This is one of our secret spots” Stone says, putting his hands next to the fire to warm them up.

“You’ve known my dad for a few hours and you brought him here” my daughters looks at the fire as if she wanted to dive in it to warm up, then just sits next to Jeff, with Eddie tagging along and doing the same.

“That’s different, your dad’s cool” the little jerk calmly retorts before walking away towards the trees.

There must be about twenty people on the beach apart from us, maybe more than that at the bigger bonfire, but I can’t see anything from here, I can just guess it from the sound of voices and music. Somebody puts a beer bottle in my hand, I take a sip from that, then walk away to take some more pictures. The stingy wind has the ability of clearing up the sky, something which musn’t be that common here in rainy Seattle, and the white buildings Jeff was mentioning before look like they shine with a light of their own in the dark of the night, just like the sand itself on the beach, here and there dappled with stones, dirt, pebbles and tree logs. The small fires and the smoke coming from them make it all even more suggestive. When I get back to our previous spot I see that very few people stayed on the beach, the only ones left of our group are Jeff and Laura, intent on kissing, and for that I should just stay away and leave them alone. But the image is so involuntarily photogenic. And my beer's still there by the way. The flash light breaks the kiss and the lovers’ break gives me the chance to take my beer without looking like a creep. I walk towards the place with the main bonfire, a small clearing among the trees, strategically shielded from the wind by a big rocky formation that seems a scale model of the pointy headland I’ve just photographed. There’s a boombox playing Sonic Youth on one side, whereas other guys down there are playing something on guitars. The people are all sitting around the fire with blankets on their legs, drinking and eating from bags of snacks and chips. Among these people I spot my daughter and the guy who’s predictably sharing his blanket with her.

“I see you’re pretty comfortable here” the very moment I surprise the group behind their back, I see my daughter furtively stretching her hand towards Eddie, who does the same with Matt, who repeats the same gesture with the other guy, Kim, as if they’re handing each other something to pass on and make disappear. And I wasn’t born yesterday”

“Hey, did you take good pictures?” my daughter trying to dissimulate is one of the funniest shows to attend in life.

“Yeah. Now can I take a hit?”

“Oh sure” she answers and steals from Eddie the common tobacco cigarette he’s holding, handing it out to me.

“Not that, the other one”

“Which one?”

“The joint”

“Joint, what joint?” my daughter asks surprised.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Ray” Eddie repeats and he sucks even more than my daughter at lying.

“Joints? We don’t smoke joints” Cornell probably has more control over his voice tone, but with that face, now looking even more devilish thanks to the light of the fire reflecting on it, he’s not credible at all.

“Ok, so, whatever it is, can I have a hit or not?”

The joint slowly follows the same path as before, only backwards, only missing the last step and passing directly from Eddie’s fingers to mine. I take a small hit, 'cause I have no idea what these guys smoke, as I sit down next to my daughter and steal some of the blanket from the couple, just to upset Eddie a little. Not because I don’t like him, actually I do like him, he seems ok, but just to have some fun. The weed seems kind of strong, I just take another couple of hits, then hand it out to Angie.

“What shoud I do with that?”

“I don’t know? Write a letter to Santa? What do you think?”

“I don’t smoke”

“Yeah, sure. Come on, take it”

“That’s true”

“I have big news for you: wrapping roaches in aluminum foil doesn’t destroy them instantly, nor does it cancel them from the face of the earth. You’ve been smoking weed for a couple of years now”

“But dad!”

“Angie, I’m, well, surprised. You’re such a disappointment to us all” Stone perfectly plays the part of the dad I’m not.

“Ok, fine. But just from time to time” she admits embarrassed.

“I know, don’t worry” I reassure her, taking another small hit, then bringing it close to her lips once again.

“But I can’t do it… like this”

“Like what?” I ask confused.

“Like this… with you”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my dad!”

“Then what? Right because I’m your dad, I would never miss the chance to smoke with my grown up daughter. Come on”

I know Angie’s so ashamed right now because she’s always so secretive and reserved about anything both with me and her mom and because everybody’s looking at us, but I also know that it’s a unique occasion. For our relationship of course, as a bonding moment, not for the weed itself, I mean, we could also share a chicken leg for what I care. Angelina, without talking, finally accepts my offer and lets herself take a couple of hits, before handing the joint back to Eddie.

“Here, are you happy now? Did your hippie dad’s dream come true?” she sarcastically asks.

“Hippie parents, I know something about that. I feel your pain and I’m not being ironical for once” Stone pats her on her back, while Eddie gives him the joint “I’m done with a hit and that’s it, since it’ll be up to me to take you all home”

Eddie and I came here with Angie on her car, Chris came with his girlfriend and Matt, the others half with Stone and half with Jeff. Jeff had said he’d be leaving early because he’s working in the morning, he also offered me a ride back to the hotel, since I’ll get up early too to leave.

“Are you the sober designated driver?” I ask him and I’m happy to know there’s one, although I know I can trust my baby.

“Yeah, but I designated myself, also because in a place like this I’d never put my life in the hands of this bunch of drunkards and stoners” he explains jokingly pulling Angie’s hood over her face.

“No, I’m ok like this too” she says as she declines the joint Stone hands to her.

“Don’t worry, I’m here too just in case” valiant knight Eddie volunteers for taking the damsel back home safe, who would have thought!”

“I’m here too, I gave up those things ages ago” says Chris’ girlfriend, who I later found out is also the manager of his band and other bands. Also the band of the guy I met at the club before… what was his name? Oh yeah, Jerry. Susan is a grown up woman and all of Angie’s friends aren’t kids anymore and I must admit I feel better knowing she’s hanging out with older people, not because adults are wiser or shit like that, but because they usually have already done the stupidest shit and don’t mean to repeat it.

“I’m glad to hear that, you might be drunk stoners, but you have a good head on your shoulders”

“So will you entrust your daughter to us? 'Cause that’s what it’s all about, right? That’s why you’re here for, I mean, all this progressist dad scene was just a test to see if you can trust her here in Seattle, am I wrong?” the joke is really Stone-style, but it comes from Jeff as soon as he joins us. Apparently those two know each other so much they can exchange parts.

“Fuck, you caught me. Yeah, I think I can put her in your hands”

“I won’t put myself in anybody’s hands!” she laughs it off, while Matt finishes the joint and throws the roach in the fire.

We keep quiet for a while, just staring at the fire, happy and lost each in our own thoughts.

“Anyway, if you really don’t feel like, don’t drive. You can sleep here after all, it’s such a nice place” I say after a while, with Kim Gordon’s husky voice in the background, without looking away from the flames and in this moment Angie takes my hand and holds it, very tight, under the blanket, unnoticed, without saying anything because there’s no need to talk, because she knows exactly what I’m thinking about right now…

“Sure, the ideal place to sleep at, pneumonia breakfast is served for free in the morning” the Stone-style joke belongs to him this time.

The party goes on, I take loads of pictures, I meet other people and I’m not surprised to find out they’re almost all musicians. Apparently music is everywhere in this city, in the air, in the water, in the soil, maybe even in the sewage plant nearby. I hang out with these guys for some time, there’s a jam session starting, even including me at some point, on a guitar one of them generously lends me, and we play Neil Young. I say bye when I feel I’m approaching that fine line between the little funny moment with an older guy and the intrusive old fart who acts like a kid at all costs. I walk back to the main bonfire and I see most of Angie’s friends are not there anymore: my daughter’s sitting at the same place together with Jeff’s girlfriend, whereas the others apparently engaged in a sort of climbing competition on a big tree not far away, which is almost resting against the rock. I take a picture of the girls that strangely enough won’t be blurry because Angie’s so into the conversation with her friend that doesn’t notice me, luckily. At some point, Laura takes something out of her bag, I immediately realize it’s a pocket mirror, and she tries to move it around so that she can see herself better at the light of the fire. In that moment, Jeff, who’s maybe the temporary winner of the climbing competition, runs towards the girls and takes his girlfriend in his arms, walking towards the beach and pretending to go throwing her in the water. Laura wriggles and squirms and Angie enjoys the whole scene smiling. She soon notices something on the ground and takes it: it’s Laura’s mirror. I feel like some kind of spy, as if I was stealing an innocuous but still private moment of my daughter, who doesn’t know I’m looking at her. I feel bad, especially when I can say the exact moment she sees her reflection in the small mirror. I can say it because the smile, which is still coloring her face after her friends’ love game, abruptly disappears and turns into… sadness. I can’t think of a more suited word. What I see is the saddest girl ever seen looking at herself in a mirror, but the worst thing for me is knowing I can’t do anything to change that expression. I’ve never wanted to command my daughter, I’m not a controlling father, I think I’ve never given her an order in my whole life, nor forbidden something to her, except for that time… Anyway, if there were situations in which I wish I could have control over her, this would be one of them.

“You’re beautiful” I tell her as I sit right next to her, after I wait for her to close the mirror and put it in her pocket.

“You smoked another joint with your new friends, right?” she now smiles and nods at the guy I played with before, but the smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“You’re much more beautiful than her” my hand tightens on her shoulder, at least I try through her heavy coat.

“Are you kidding me, Laura is a hottie! Don’t say that to Jeff or he’d never drive you to your hotel: he’d let you die in the woods as a revenge”

“You’re more beautiful than your mother” I insist, taking her chin between my fingers and lightly forcing her to look at me in the eye, at the same time making sure nobody’s seeing or listening to us round here.

“Then it’ll be mom abandoning you in the woods with nothing, not even a loaf of bread to crubmle to find the way back home”

“I’m not talking about Janis… I mean your mom… the actual one”

“Janis is my actual mother” she retorts looking at me in the eye, being serious for the first time since I came here, for the first time in months actually.

“You know what I mean”

“Biological mother, I think that’s the correct word” she says, right back in the role of Angie the Detached.

“You’re much, much more beautiful than the one who gave birth to you” I repeat.

“Hehe sorry if I hardly believe you, considering that being beautiful was her job”

“Looking good is not enough to be a beautiful person. You’re a beautiful person, inside and outside, and I hope that all these nice people loving and caring for you will make you understand it better than me and your mother did, the one who didn’t give birth to you”

“That is, the true one” she adds with a smile, directed towards the fire.

“Yep” I do the same and let the flames hypnotyze me as I rest my head on her shoulder.

“What a great dad-daughter moment, do you think it was because of the weed?” Angie can’t be Angie without destroying emotional moments.

“Sure!” I exclaim sitting back straight and letting her scarf fall in the movement.

She takes it off to put it back correctly and as she does that I see something shining on her neck.

“What’s this? Is it new?” I ask her taking the pendant in my hand.

“Yes, it’s new, more or less, it’s a present” she replies, tensing up all of a sudden, then covering herself quickly with the scarf.

I smell a rat.

“A present from whom?”

“From Meg, it’s a necklace Meg gave me for my birthday” she reveals and as she does I see Eddie, who was walking towards us, stopping in his tracks a few steps away from us and giving a strange look at my daughter.

Something tells me the present was from him. Come on, Eddie, don’t take it bad, you should know her by now: sharing a joint for her is easier than sharing thoughts about a guy, especially if she likes him as she likes you.

“Hey Eddie, who won?” I ask him.

“I did… I guess”

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“Tell me again why Grace didn’t come” since Jeff left with Ray, and Laura, Cornell decided to take his place as my personal torturer.

“Because she had a date… with a guy!” Angie exclaims in a clearly altered state. The same girl who was ashamed to hold a joint in front of her dad, has drained the booze stash after he left.

“You mean a guy who’s not Stone?”

“Exactly!” Angie tries to stand up, but she visibly staggers and she’d fall head first into the fire if Eddie wasn’t there, ready to grab her and hold her tight. Ah what a sacrifice, but someone’s gotta do it, right Eddie?

“If you believe I give a fuck, well, keep up with your little show, huh. But I warn you, you’re wasting your time and breath” I press the side button of my watch to lighten up the display: it’s 3:30. No date ever lasts so long. Anyway, she could as well come over later. She could as well bring this guy over, I’ve got no problems with that, maybe she has. If she found someone who’s crazy enough to overlook the whole dadaist chair thing and keep his mouth shut only to get laid, well, good for her. I can’t shut up, I can’t ignore her weirdness, it might be nothing big, but it’s a lot of little weird things and they’re really a lot and they’re absurd. I bet the guy she went out with tonight doesn’t even notice them instead, doesn’t even see them, doesn’t want to see them, to him she’s just an average girl, an ok girl you can have the combo dinner+movie+fuck with, not a crazy girl with two fishtanks with no fish instead of windows. He doesn’t even see the fishtanks… or the sticky note on the chair… or the semicolon tattoo… not even the stuffed animals. He doesn’t understand who’s standing in front of him, he doesn’t understand a fucking shit. But it’s not my business anyway.

“Mark? Is this the time to show up at a party?” the chance to drop the subject presents itself in the shape of my ex bandmate, whom I see slowly approaching from the trail.

“Gossard! You should know this is the ideal time, showing up at a party before 3 a.m. is so bourgeois” I’ve never been happier so see Arm since Green River split up.

“Nice beanie… or is it an orange flavored condom? I’m afraid you didn’t press out all the air at the tip though” I remark pointing at his flossy beanie, which has some kind of unexplainable bump on top.

“I knew you wouldn’t appreciate it as much as it deserves, after all Jeff is the expert about hats. Or the expert about anything that’s not himself.” he snaps back with his diagonal smile and I love him, I really do, I mean, we’d been sharing the stage for years and we’re friends, still there’s some kind of rivalry and picking on each other and I think it’s good to a certain extent “But Idaho is here too. Hi Idaho!”

“Hi guy who calls people by the name of the place they come from! You’re lucky I wasn’t born in that Welsh city with the longest name of the world… what was it… Llanfairsomething” Angie replies and is unusually talkative, something which doesn’t surprise those of us who already saw her drunk, but surprises Eddie a lot. He looks at her clearly fascinated and terrified at the same time.

“Actually Idaho as a nickname is all Kurt, I just humbly use it” Arm brings a hand to his chest and fakes a sort of bow.

“Cobain? I should have guessed it, such an imaginative name couldn’t have been created by the mind of someone who calls himself like a limb”

“Or a verb!” I add.

“Or a weapon!” Angie goes on.

“A part of a record player!” me again.

“What’s this? Did I arrive just in the middle of your creative process? I thought you had stopped writing songs this way, Stone”

“Actually now they prefer the exquisite corpse technique” boozy girl explains as Arm sits down right next to her and steals a beer from our stash.

“A surrealistic band? And I thought you were writing words on small squares of paper and mixing them in one of Jeff’s hats to pick them up later in a casual order”

“No, actually the corpse is Stone’s after the fifteenth change of a chord. The others kill him and write a song about the whole experience”

“And then? Does he resurrect each time rising from his ashes like a phoenix?”

“Well phoenix only rises anew once every 500 years, so.. I hope so” the dwarf says, laughing at my face with Mark.

“Now it looks like I know the release date of the album of… what’s your name?”

“Mookie Blaylock” Angie speaks before anyone else, basically spelling every single letter, maybe even the ones who’re not there.

“But we’re changing the name” Eddie points out and he probably didn’t even notice, I mean he surely didn’t, but he slowly got closer to Smurfette from the moment Arm sat beside her. But is it just me noticing everything or is anyone else blind?

“They’re gonna use exquisite corpse to find the band name too” Angie says nodding at herself.

“Exquisite corpse seems a perfect name itself already” Arms takes off his terrible beanie, trying to tame his messy hair in the wind.

“Now it looks like I know the name of the next Mudhoney’s album” Angie repeats Mark’s previous joke and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Copying someone else’s joke using it against them is a definitely outdated method to win an argument”

“I thought that to win an argument with you it’d only take some arm wrestling”

“Hey you two, just stop it or get a room!” Cornell chimes in with no tact at all and Eddie must not appreciate the way he does it, or the words he uses, since he delivers the fakest little laugh I’ve ever heard.

“We’d better not, someone’s gonna end up in jail” Angelina replies, pointing the neck of her beer bottle against Arm’s nose.

“But weren’t you of age? At least, that’s what Stone had published in every newspaper of the state a few months ago” Mark winks at Angie, something Vedder likes even less.

“Exactly and coming of age also means becoming legally prosecutable in case I commited a murder” Angie’s devilish smile mirrors Mark’s amused one.

“Are you sure you’re friend with these people? You look too smart for these guys”

“Trying to win an argument pretending to let the other one win and complimenting her seems a too predictable technique, even for a so called ’alternative’ musician” final shot by Angie who wins it all, even though she’s so drunk she irritatingly draws air quotes with her fingers.

“Haha no, I’m not pretending, I swear, you won, I bow down before your superiority!” Mark raises his hands, then has his beer bottle clink against Angie’s in a sort of toast of defeat, before standing up from the log “I’ll go and have my revenge on someone else, good night”

The conversation with Mark, or maybe alcohol, consumed much of the energy of Angie, who’s now sprawled out all over Eddie and he’s surely not complaining. He just sits there, hugging her, cuddling with her by the fire enjoying its warmth and writing something on a pocket notepad with his free hand. How the hell does he write in the dark?

“What are you looking at?” Kim scares me to death, coming out from behind a bush.

“JESUS CHRIST… where did you come from? I had a heart attack!”

“I went to pee, sorry if I didn’t think about sending a warning signal”

“What’s going on?” Chris and Matt come along, probably because of my screams.

“Nothing, Stone thought I was a mountain lion or some other wild animal. Anyway, what are you looking at?”

“Nothing much, just the lovebirds of the day”

“And who would they be?” Gossip Guy Cornell is obviosly interested in the latest news.

“I’ll give you a hint: one is an alcoholic teenager, the other one is an exiled sufer”

“Eddie… and Angie?!” Chris looks dismayed.

“I’m not surprised, I often see them together” Matt admits.

“And what about Cantrell?” Thayil asks, strangely interested in gossip too.

“Cantrell was dethroned by Goldenlocks and dismissed forever” I diplomatically explain.

“Actually, she used to be hand in glove with Jerry, now they ignore each other” Cornell admits.

“But one of them needs to wake up and take action or they could go on with this secret lovers bullshit for ages” I snort wiping some sand off my boots.

“I bet ten bucks she’ll take action first” Kim states after pondering for a long time.

“Nah, I say Eddie first” Chris rebids.

“I say Eddie first too” Matt says.

“Eddie for me too, Angie couldn’t tell a romantic advance from a court order”

“Mark Arm’s got such a big mouth” shit-faced Smurfette remarks as Vedder’s giving her a piggyback ride along the trail. Thank god he’s here, I couldn’t carry her and neither could the others right now. Without Vedder we’d have ended up sleeping on the beach like Ray suggested. Ray is fun, I kind of like him, maybe it’s because he’s a lot like my dad, well sort of, especially in giving shitty names to their children.

“Sure he has, Mark Arm is the biggest big mouth of Seattle, ask Jeff!” I giggle.

“That guy’s always been like that, always talking, often too much” says Cornell too.

“You’re the one to talk!” we all cry along.

“No, I didn’t mean metaphorically. I mean, his mouth is big, in the sense of… his oral fissure” the girl slurs, but pronounces oral fissure perfectly.

“Well, yeah, I guess” Matt doesn’t know how to respond to Angie’s nonsense talking.

“He’s got a really nice mouth, nice lips. I like him.” I swear to god I heard Eddie trip over something and half stumble in this exact moment, I’m not making it up “He should be called Mark Mouth instead of Mark Arm”

“Well, then he could as well be called Mark Nose, considering the dimension” I joke trying to keep the torch straight and not letting the love-alcoholic tragedy that’s taking place behind my back distract me.

“YES! THE NOSE TOO!” Angie raises her head, which she had kept resting on Vedder’s left shouder until now, and fidgets so much she slightly throws him off balance.

“Hey, calm down, you and your mini hormones!” I rebuke her while the others laugh.

The others minus Eddie.

“Ok,” Angie puts her head back down and lets Eddie carry her in peace “anyway I like men with a big nose. And with a big mouth”

If Eddie’s hands weren’t busy holding Angie from her legs, I think he’d put them on his face to take measures. Given his expression, he’s struggling with the urge.

“Ok so, who takes the responsibility of convincing her this whole conversation did actually happen once she’s sober? I don't” I go on as I walk up the trail, until I notice the others have stopped. I turn around and pointing the torch at them I see them standing still, staring at me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask confused.

“Right, what’s happening? Why did we stop? I wanna go home…” Angie whines, looking up and around in a more delicate way this time.

“Big mouth and big nose, huh?” Cornell looks at me and folds his arms, then looks at Angie, then me again, then Angie, and the others follow this exchange of looks to, at least until she doesn’t figure out what they’re thinking about.

“OH GOD, PLEASE, NO! FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” she complains, looking like she’s about to throw up, something which would also be plausible considering her close encounter with drunken stupor.

“Hey, what’s that disgusted look on your face? Why?”

“Stone, don’t pretend to be offended because I don’t have a crush on you. My dad’s not even here to help you”

“I’m not offended, darling, but the fact you’re not desperately in love with me doesn’t allow you to look at me like you’re looking at a pile of stinky socks. Jeff Ament’s stinky socks”

“Jeff Jeff Jeff… how come you always have Jeff in your mouth??” Angie keeps whining and doesn’t even notice she accidentally used a double entendre, but I point the torch at my friends as if it was a weapon, silently threatening them not to make any comments.

“Well, in such a big mouth…” Matt whispers, causing some hushed laughs I pretend not to hear.

“Who knows if Grace likes guys with a big mouth…” Cornell goes on and I’m tempted to give them the wrong directions and let them fall off some cliff.

We finally get to our cars after a long walk, which actually seemed shorter than the walk to the beach though. That’s strange, it should be the opposite, since we’re now tired, partially loaded and walking uphill. The plan is the four of us will follow Eddie, who’s driving Angie’s car up to her apartment, where we’re gonna leave Cornell and Matt, and Kim too 'cause he’s crashing at their place to make it faster and easier. After that, I’ll take Eddie home before going back to my place. As I start the car I can’t help noticing Vedder right in front of us who carefully puts Angie in her seat and and even fastens her seatbelt, walks around the micro-car, takes the driver’s seat, regulates the seat and while he regulates the mirrors he’s clearly pulling faces sticking out his tongue as he looks at his reflection.

And I thought he was right in the head. And maybe he was, before meeting Angie. And us.

#pearl jam fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #pearl jam #mike mccready #stone gossard #jeff ament #eddie vedder #alice in chains #layne staley #jerry cantrell #mike starr #sean kinney #chris cornell #kim thayil #matt cameron #soundgarden #mark arm #chapters

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