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ladylooch · 2 months

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Going Home with You- Timo Meier

A/N: Just cause I love these two and Timo had a great game today and I know exactly how these two spent the rest of their day 🥰

Word Count: 1.7k

Inside the group of Devils WAGS, Emma stands beside Kristen Haula, looking down at the newest addition to their family. The baby is in its holder, snuggles up into Kristen’s chest. Emma can’t help but steal glances at the little bundle every so often. Every time Emma sees a baby, she tries to wrap her head around the fact that there is one of those inside of her. It hasn’t quite computed. Maybe it will at their 19 week appointment next week when they get to see the baby again.

Emma and Timo have told the team and most of their important friends and family members now. It is starting to get real. As real as the baby yawning next to her while gripping its own fingers tightly. A smile tilts the corner of Emma’s mouth up seeing the baby’s little mouth stretch in a yawn again.

“Very cute.” Emma murmurs when Kristen catches her looking.

“So cute. Makes all of pregnancy worth it.”

“I hope so.” Emma sighs, thinking back to those rough weeks in the first trimester when her body felt like it was revolting against her. “I am feeling better now.” Emma shrugs. “But my back is really killing me.”

As if on cue, her lower back tightens up and she leans forward, trying to stretch it out. A hand glides along her back, thick fingers beginning to dig into her reoccurring pain spot. Emma turns, looking over her shoulder to see Timo.

“Hi!” She smiles, wrapping her arms around his neck. He played so great today. She has been itching to get him into a hug since he scored early in the second period.

Timo chases her lips as she tries to press her nose into his shoulder. She tilts her head back, capturing his full mouth. His tongue is gliding along the seam of her mouth as his hands press her tighter into his body. Her bump prevents her from getting any closer. She feels pressure and rumbling where her bump pressed into Timo’s stomach. She contemplates, but ultimately unsure if that is the baby or the popcorn she couldn’t stop eating during the second intermission. When her and Timo separate, she is breathless.

“Wow, yeah.” She flutters her eyes closed, feeling blushy and giddy. “Hi.”

“Hi babe.” Timo murmurs. He pecks her one more time, then focuses his hands on her lower back. Emma grips the lapels of his suit as he rubs his fingers in. It feels incredible. She bites her lip to not let out a pregnancy soaked moan. His thumbs rub stretched circles into the back of her hip bones. She rests her forehead on his sternum and he kisses the top of her head. “Do you want to wait for Nico?”

“I should. He scored too.” Emma murmurs. “You guys kept me up and moving today.” Timo chuckles.

“That’s good, after you fell asleep during the Rangers game Thursday.”

“Look, I was tired. I didn’t get my nap in like you. Some of us are working weird hours to help support their business in Switzerland.”

“This is true. My babies work so hard.” Timo nods, patting her bump. “Nico should be out in a minute. He was right behind me.”

Nico does indeed come sauntering out, hands in his pockets. He offers a hug to his sister and modestly accepts her excitement about his goal. Other than being with Timo, the best part of being in Jersey for Emma is getting to see Nico play consistently. The way this team ignites under his leadership gives Emma chills every night. Together, the three of them head out to the parking ramp. Lexi is working OT at the hospital and won’t be home until after 10:00pm tonight. Nico is going to the store to have dinner ready for her when she arrives. While Nico stops to take pictures and sign autographs for fans, Timo and Emma head home to their apartment.

Once they are there, they order some pork belly ramen and plan to continue their quest of watching all the Marvel movies together on Disney+. Next up is Captain America: Winter Solider. Curled up under a blanket with Timo Meier is the only place in the world Emma wants to be. She can barely watch the movie because she is so focused on how good Timo’s body feels resting against her. Her pregnant body begins swirling with hormones, inducing thoughts of saddling up right here and giving him his reward now rather than waiting for the end of the night.

Her cheek perches on his pec. Her gaze drags off the TV to the tie of his sweatpants. Her hand moves down from where it was wrapped around his back, gliding along those ties and pulling them apart. Timo’s head turns away from the TV, lips ghosting over her head, watching her hand slide into the waistband of his cotton pants. Her palm glides down his shaft as it thickens in her grasp. She pumps him a few times, squeezing as she does so. Timo’s hand on her hip slides down the back of her yoga pants, gripping her bare ass.

It isn’t long before their pants are gone, shirts still on, as Emma bounces up and down on Timo’s cock. Her head falls back towards the ceiling, nipples pebbling against his callused palms as he holds her swollen breasts under her shirt. Emma is loud as she comes, stretched and used by his powerful body tonight.

“Ah.” Timo grimaces when her last wave releases them both. Emma steadies herself with her hands on his abdomen. “That hurt my ass a bit.”

Emma tilts her head to the side, looking utterly fucked out, not comprehending the issue.

“Hm?”

“My butt hurts from the shot I blocked.”

“Oh.” She rushes trying to get off him. Timo grips her hips tightly.

“No, no, no.” He murmurs, then drifts his eyes down to her belly. She looks so obviously pregnant right now with their baby. It stirs him inside her even as he just filled her up. “Wanna look at you like this some more.” So there she stays, until she absolutely cannot avoid getting off him to go to the bathroom.

Timo is in bed when she is done. She comes out of the bathroom, smiling at the new panties and pajama pants he has waiting for her on her side of the bed. She slides them on, then gets into bed with him. She curls into his side, ignoring the pregnancy pillow that she itches to wrap around and under her too. She will eventually, but right now she wants to feel all of him against her. Timo rolls onto his side as she maneuvers a leg through both of his. Her socked feet tangle with his in the middle of their California King.

“How is your butt now?”

“It’s sore. Gonna have a sick bruise. Probably already do.”

“You think?” Emma murmurs. She shifts up, looking over his back and pulling his sweatpants and underwear down. He has a definitive reddish and purple mark from the puck. Emma cringes then leans forward and puts her lips on his butt cheek, kissing him softly. Timo’s ass tightens in surprise under her mouth.

“Whew, damn, babe. Warn a dude before we start doing butt stuff.” He jokes as she rolls back into her previous position after replacing his clothes. His palm slides across her bump immediately, settling in for his nightly hold of their child.

“I hope you cleaned that cheek good in the shower.”

“Scrubbed it hard.” He murmurs, eyes shut. Emma leans forward, kissing his chin, then along his jaw until he starts kissing her neck. He sucks her skin in, rolling it over in his mouth. “How is your back?”

“I can’t do another round. Gave you everything I got.”

“Mmm, okay.” He agrees, halting his nibbling of her neck. He lays his head back on the pillow, scanning her face. “I am already missing you.” He confesses, speaking about his upcoming West Coast road trip. It’s about a week, but will drag on due to the large time difference.

“How are you feeling about San Jose on Tuesday?”

“Um…” He trails off, running a finger along her chest, over the swells of her full breasts. “Weird?” He furrows his eyebrows. “Like I’m excited to go back but also a bit nervous.”

“I’m sure the fans will welcome you back. They loved having you there for so long. You grew up there.”

“Yeah.” He sighs, looking lost in thought.

“But coming here was a good move for you.”

“For us….” He smiles then leans forward to kiss her.

“Us? What, you’re finally going to admit you picked Jersey for me?” Emma murmurs.

“Yeah, babe. Of course I did.” He strokes her hair. “Did I think this is where we would be a year after my trade? No.”

“How disappointing…?” Emma trails off, looking at the red spot on his neck where his shoulder pads rub at him. She leans forward, kissing the irritated skin.

“How lucky.” He corrects her. “This is everything, Em. Means nothing without you now.” He pauses. "I used to... imagine... in San Jose that one day, you would be waiting for me there after the game to go home with." He breathes in deeply. "But you never were. And I think that stung a few times last year, but it's because we were meant to have this instead. This life." He presses into the baby harder. "I love you so much, Em."

A smile curls along Emma’s lips as tender tears build in her eyes. She sighs happily, pressing her forehead against the heartbeat in his thick neck. Timo strokes his fingers over her back, resting his nose in her hair. Emma runs her hands under Timo’s t-shirt to cup the bare skin of his muscular back.

“I love you, babe. I loved our day too.” Emma whispers.

“Me too, baby. Good night.”

Read more Timo and Emma here.

#tm: loving & leaving #Timo Meier x oc #Timo Meier imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fan fiction

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hairstevington · 6 months

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songs that voices never share (2)

Deaf!Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Summary: Steve receives a letter from El and goes on a quest to fulfill her wishes. Along the way, he runs into Nancy as well as the intriguing metalhead that Steve can't stop thinking about, for better or for worse. (part 1 found here)

Warnings: Lots of angst, good babysitter Steve Harrington, use of ASL, appearances from a bunch of the kids, Steve and El are penpals and it's very cute

Word count: 3.6K

A/N: I am going to move this story over exclusively on Ao3, so please follow along there if you're interested!

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Chapter 2 - I'm getting further away

Steve wanted to go directly to Robin’s after dropping the boys off at home, but he forced himself to wait until they worked together the next day. It was after dark, and Mrs. Buckley wasn’t the biggest fan of teenage boys showing up at the house unannounced and distracting her daughter from studying.

Pssh. As if Robin didn’t distract herself most of the time.

Steve had pulled his typical Harrington move a few times and snuck up to her window, which Mrs. Buckley didn’t love, but she accepted, as long as he didn’t step on any of the flowers in the garden when he did so - he learned that lesson the hard way. Anyway, Robin’s mom tolerated Steve’s excessive presence in Robin’s life because she was happy that Robin had a “handsome boyfriend.” While Steve was a year older and not in college, he still had a decent reputation in the town (somehow), and Mrs. Buckley approved of him, more or less.

He would have called her, but his hearing over the phone was hit or miss, and besides - he wanted to see her face when she found out.

So, Steve went home. He went up to his bedroom (which Robin often called the torture chamber due to how poorly it was decorated and also the general vibes of Steve’s house being off), and he thought about Eddie.

Seriously. Eddie. Steve Harrington was lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Eddie Munson. A total freak. The bane of Steve’s existence due to the fact that Eddie was actively replacing Steve in Dustin’s life. That Eddie. And all because of Tommy and Jonathan and Billy and the Russians all treating Steve like a punching bag until he started losing his hearing, and now that guy, Eddie Munson, was one of the only people Steve would be able to communicate with.

Okay. So apparently Steve had gone from being excited to being angry about it. Funny how that works. At least Steve understood anger better than he understood…whatever the hell he’d been feeling before.

Eddie seemed to be, like, fluent. Steve wasn’t. He’d been practicing pretty much nonstop for three months, but that didn’t mean much. He could carry a conversation as long as people talked about very specific topics. And even then, Steve wasn’t sure he was signing half the words correctly. Books about ASL were great but not exactly the best way to learn a 3-D, visual language.

The impending migraine he’d felt approaching over the course of the day was getting worse. It was probably going to rain tomorrow or something. That was a thing, right? Feeling achy and sore before a storm hits? Or was that only an excuse for when his mom didn’t want to do chores? He could have looked it up at any point, but he didn’t feel like it. Robin or Dustin would probably already know the answer, anyway. Who knows? Maybe Eddie would, too.

Ugh. Steve was sick and tired of feeling like the stupidest person in his life.

The next day, Steve woke up and noticed an envelope had been slipped under his door. He rolled his eyes, consistently amazed at how his parents avoided trying to talk to their own son. Whatever. He walked over to grab the letter and noticed it was from El.

It was kind of exciting, receiving a letter like that. The last time he’d gotten letters in the mail, they were rejections from colleges, so this was a lot more fun, even though he barely knew the girl. He opened the envelope and read it.

Dear Steve,

I do not know you very good well, but I want to practise writing. Will is helping me with grammer and spelling because I am not good at it. I am working on it and I think I will be good at writing soon.

School is okay. It is nice to have friends, but the homework is hard. Joyce and Jonathan do not help me much. There is a woman at school who helps me. She is nice but she smells bad. Will told me it is something called perfume. I asked Joyce and she told me women wear perfume for dates. Why is Mrs. Vickers wearing it at school? Will says she likes Mr. Samson and that is why. But then I asked her and she said no and that he is married.

I wrote Mike and Max letters too and they probably will get them at the same time you do. If you see them, can you make sure they have them?

I hope you are good. How are your ears?

~ El Jane

PS: My name is Jane. Please call me that.

Steve smiled. There was something so endearing about it. El - er, Jane - was just a girl, and yet she’d saved a lot of people’s lives a bunch of times. She’d saved Steve’s life at that mall - that is, unless he dreamt that. It was right after he’d puked his guts from the truth serum shit so his memory was a bit faded. But he was pretty sure El threw a car across the room and then Jonathan sliced her leg open to get some wiggly thing out of her.

Jesus. That whole night was fucking wild. Why did nobody ever talk about it?

Anyway, it was Saturday, and the boys (Dustin, Lucas, and Mike) were hanging out in Nancy’s basement to do god knows what. Probably something nerdy. Although, Steve didn’t mind the nerdy shit as much now that he was friends with Dustin and Robin. Since Jane specifically asked Steve to check if Mike got his letter, and it’s not like Steve had anything else to do, he got in his car and headed to the Wheeler’s.

It struck him as he approached the driveway that Nancy could very well be in her own house on a Saturday afternoon, so he might see her.

Idiot.

Well, he couldn’t leave now, because Nancy’s Dad was totally paranoid and probably would have called the cops about a mysterious car pulling up and then driving away. Unless he was asleep on the couch or something, which he did pretty often. It was 50/50 with Ted Wheeler. Eh, more like 75/25.

Being at Nancy’s house was weird. He didn’t go there very often other than the occasional drop-off after Hellfire. He and Nancy were fine, in the technical sense, but still. She broke his heart and left him for Jonathan. They were exes.

Of course, she was the one who opened the door.

“Oh!” she said once she saw him. “Um, Steve! Hi! What are you doing here?”

Fair question.

“I’m looking for your brother.” Steve nonchalantly signed YOUR BROTHER as he spoke without even thinking about it. Nancy looked at his hands and pressed her lips into a thin line. She’d been acting extra weird around him ever since he’d told her about the hearing thing. She didn’t learn any ASL, she just stopped talking to him - which was fine, because it’s not like they had much to talk about unless the world was ending or something.

Which meant they probably still had at least a few months of silence between them before they were due for another apocalypse.

“I think so,” Nancy replied, looking behind her. “One second.”

Nancy walked ten feet closer to the basement door and yelled for Mike, who tumbled up the stairs and ran to the door so fast Steve wondered if Mike had considered joining the track team. Steve already supported Lucas joining the basketball team, and even helped him out before tryouts. Lucas didn’t need much training, though. He was a natural at basketball.

Mike was huffing and puffing when he noticed it was Steve asking for him, and then his face fell.

“DUSTIN!!!” Mike yelled behind him. “YOUR STEVE IS HERE!” Steve rolled his eyes. One good thing about talking to Mike was that he frequently yelled, which translated to a more normal volume for those who’d had ruptured eardrums.

“I’m not here for Henderson,” Steve clarified. “I’m here because your girlfriend wants to know if you got your letter.”

“You - what?!” Mike exclaimed. “How did you know that - since when do you talk to El?”

The other good thing about talking to Mike was that he was relatively good at enunciating. This was especially helpful considering Mike signed BITCH instead of TALK. But hey, at least the kid was trying.

“Her name’s Jane, now, dude,” Steve corrected him. “And uhh - I dunno. She wrote me a letter too.”

Mike clearly did not like any of this. He crossed his arms and scoffed so dramatically Steve had to hold himself back from laughing.

“MOM!” Mike yelled. “DID I GET A LETTER?” There must have been a response in the background, because Mike looked like he heard one. He turned back to Steve and nodded. “Yup got it.”

“Great,” Steve replied. Unfortunately, only half his job was done. “Did Max get hers?” Mike shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he answered. Steve sighed.

“Okay,” he said. “Do you know where she lives?” Mike responded, but Steve couldn’t for the life of him figure out what he said. It looked like - “Frosties?” Mike shook his head and said it again.

“Forest Hills,” he clarified. Steve furrowed his eyebrows.

“The trailer park?” he asked. Mike nodded. “Oh. Okay. Thanks.”

Steve always had a headache after talking to people, because he had to concentrate super hard to get what they were saying. It was getting old. He turned to go back to his car, but was stopped when Mike grabbed him by the wrist. Steve spun around and tried not to laugh at how hard Mike attempted to look menacing.

“Don’t hurt her, understand?” Mike demanded. At least he had one sign down - UNDERSTAND. Steve nodded, regretting that he taught Mike anything.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Steve responded. Jane could still kick his ass probably, even without her powers.

He left for Forest Hills after that, feeling somewhat sad for Max. He hadn’t really talked to her much, so he didn’t fully know her deal, but he knew she grew up with a psycho brother and was angsty enough to take down said brother. Steve was knocked out cold for it, but Dustin had told him her attack involved using Steve’s nail bat to threaten Billy’s junk.

Needless to say, Steve was kind of terrified of Max.

All that said, Forest Hills was known for being - uhh - not the best place to live. It was relatively close to Steve’s house, and his dad warned him all the time growing up not to go there. He told him it was filled with the worst kind of people.

Then Steve grew up, and he realized his dad was among the worst kind of people, not the folks at the trailer park.

It was just sad there. Even though people lived in the trailers, something about it felt empty at all times. Hollow. Miserable.

Steve realized he hadn’t asked which trailer belonged to Max’s family (idiot), but thankfully she was outside feeding the dog when his car pulled into Forest Hills.

She didn’t seem at all surprised by his arrival, or maybe she just didn’t care. It was probably the second one.

“What are you doing here?” she asked after Steve got out of the car. She looked around her, and Steve could have sworn she saw a crack in her tough exterior. He wondered how many people knew this was where she lived now.

The sky was cloudy. It would probably rain any minute. Steve’s head was pounding.

It was at that moment Steve realized how ridiculous this whole mission had been. This girl who he interacted with like three times in his life wrote him a letter and asked him to check in on two other kids, both who Steve also didn’t have much of a relationship with, and he just…did it? Because he had literally nothing better to do on a Saturday?

Oof. He had no idea when he got so pathetic.

“Steve?” Max called. Steve was too lost in thought to even respond, but within moments she was standing a foot in front of him. Despite being a lot shorter than he was, she still seemed tall. She signed, WHAT’S UP? He took a deep breath.

“God, this is -” he said. “This is so stupid. Did you get El’s letter? I mean - uh - Jane’s letter?”

Max’s gaze softened.

“Is she okay?” she asked, slight fear in her expression. Steve nodded.

“Yeah,” he answered. “She just uh - she sent me one, too. Asked me to check that you and Mike got yours.”

At the mention of Mike, Max rolled her eyes. At least she and Steve had that reaction in common. She walked to the mailbox, opened it, and shuffled through the (many) envelopes inside.

“Jesus,” Steve exclaimed. “Someone’s popular.” Max didn’t react.

“I always forget to check,” she said casually in response. Steve wondered why she would be the one who had to check the mail, but didn’t press it. Max took one of the envelopes and held it in the air. “Here. Got it,” she said.

Max was acting differently. She was never the most bubbly person, but she seemed even more tense than usual.

“You okay?” Steve asked, signing OK. Max nodded and signed FINE. As much as Steve knew she was definitely for sure lying (seriously, Steve was the King of pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t, he saw right through this shit), he also knew he wasn’t great at the whole emotions thing.

“Be nice to El or I’ll kill you,” Max threatened. Steve shook his head.

“Why is everyone saying that shit?” he complained. “Seriously, I just -”

Suddenly, there was a sound that Steve assumed was thunder. Max’s eyes focused on something in the distance behind Steve, then pointed at her ear and nodded towards the noise. When Steve turned around, he saw Eddie attempting to put a garbage bag in the metal dumpster and failing miserably.

He turned back to Max, who looked at him expectantly.

“What?” Steve asked. She looked back at Eddie, then to Steve again. “You’re the one who lives here, you help him.” Max’s face crumpled with judgment.

“I’m a child,” she explained, as if helping Eddie with his task was a preposterous thing for her to do. Steve rolled his eyes and turned back to the dumpster, which was now closed. Eddie was wiping his hands on his pants, triumphant. Then, he locked eyes with Steve.

Shit.

Usually, Steve could pretend he wasn’t able to hear someone if they were far away, and then he didn’t look like a dick when he didn’t talk to them. Unfortunately, Steve couldn’t use that excuse with Eddie.

HERE WHY? Eddie signed from across the park.

Steve wasn’t sure why he was so nervous all of a sudden. It sucked that every single time he ran into Eddie, he forgot all ASL he’d practiced and instead just looked like a total fool. Steve pressed his lips together and gestured to Max beside him. Eddie raised an eyebrow.

Steve looked at Max panicked, and she looked back at him.

“He knows ASL?” she asked, impressed. Steve nodded. “How?”

“Uhhh, his mom is deaf,” Steve explained. “Was deaf. She’s dead now.” Steve knew like three things about Eddie, and those were two of the things. Of course, those facts sounded incredibly tactless when repeated without context.

“Steve, what the hell?” Max replied. “You’re being weird.”

“I know,” Steve replied in a hushed voice. He went to go back to his car, then noticed that Eddie was walking right toward them. Steve’s eyes widened.

Okay, here goes nothing.

“This guy bothering you, Red?” Eddie asked. He was using a sign Steve didn’t recognize, but he assumed it meant BOTHER. Steve crossed his hands in a similar way at his waist, as if doing it would sear the sign into his brain.

“No,” Max said. “He’s fine.” She signed FINE once again. She was really getting her mileage with that one.

Steve signed a question that was meant to ask if Eddie and Max had met already. Thank God he was actually able to express a coherent thought. He was pretty sure it was grammatically correct, too!

MEET, Eddie signed back. Steve cocked his head, so Eddie continued. “You signed DATE,” he explained. He closed his fists more and then repeated the motion. “This is how you sign MEET.”

Okay, so Steve officially had to disappear forever.

THANK YOU, he signed instead, resisting the urge to hop in the car. TWO-OF-YOU MEET HOW? This time, Eddie nodded in approval at Steve’s signing, which felt good. He was still humiliated, but at least he’d slightly redeemed himself.

Eddie signed a whole bunch of words Steve couldn’t really follow, but thankfully Eddie spoke anyway.

“We’re neighbors,” he explained. “Also, her boyfriend is in my club.” Eddie was signing while he was speaking like it was nothing. Steve watched in awe.

“Okay,” Max interrupted, unamused. “I’m gonna go inside before it starts pouring, but it was nice to talk to you both, I guess.”

With that, she was gone. That left Steve and Eddie alone. It was times like these when he really wished he could telepathically summon Robin.

“So,” Eddie said. Then, he signed something else Steve couldn’t understand. YOU, something, then ME?

The missing word was extremely important. Thankfully, Eddie seemed to recognize that Steve didn’t understand. Eddie fingerspelled, S-T-A-L-K, then signed STALK again.

YOU STALK ME?

Once Eddie’s initial question clicked, Steve shook his head aggressively.

“No, no,” he insisted. “I came here for Max, because her and I have a bunch of friends in common, and -”

“Steve,” Eddie said, cutting him off. JOKING.

Steve exhaled in relief. “Oh. Right,” he said. From then on, Eddie spoke as he signed.

“How long have you been signing?” he asked.

“Three months,” Steve answered. “Started losing my hearing in July.”

“Shit,” Eddie replied. “So it’s very new.” Steve nodded, noticing that instead of signing VERY NEW, Eddie signed NEW with a more dramatic motion and expression. Interesting.

“Yeah.”

Eddie looked up at the sky, which had gotten a lot darker over the last few minutes.

“Well,” he said. “We should take refuge before the storm hits. But for the record, you’re pretty good at ASL considering it’s only been three months.”

Steve smiled. REALLY?

Eddie nodded. REALLY.

Steve didn’t think Eddie had any idea how much this brief conversation impacted him. Eddie just walked away after that to go inside, but Steve lingered outside the car for a few extra moments.

Then he realized how fucking weird he looked and drove home as fast as he safely could.

Steve had a few hours before work, which was good because his headache was still going strong. He figured he’d pop a Tylenol and take a nap or something.

When he got back to his room, he saw his letter on the desk and decided he’d write back before he slept.

Dear Jane,

Hi! I honestly didn’t expect you to actually write me. That’s pretty cool. I double checked for you and Max and Mike got their letters. And then they both gave me the shovel talk - wait, do you know what a shovel talk is? They basically told me that if you and I are gonna be penpals, I have to be nice to you. That’s kinda bullshit, right? I’m, like, really nice, now. Except to Dustin, but only when he deserves it.

That was a joke. I’m joking.

Steve crumpled up the paper and threw it across the room. What was he thinking, going on about shovel talks and how he sometimes bullies a literal child?

He took a deep breath and tried again.

Hey,

I’m really glad you wrote to me. Things have been kinda hard, honestly. My ears are the same. Actually, they’ve gotten worse. Today they’re hurting me a lot. I’m starting to think I’m gonna go completely deaf and I don’t really know how I feel about it. I just feel like a total dumbass all the time.

Jesus Christ, was he seriously trauma dumping on a girl who’s formative experiences included being imprisoned and experimented on in a lab??? And now, she had even more shit to conquer. She didn’t need to hear about his problems.

He thought about giving up, but decided to try one more time.

Jane -

It’s nice to hear from you. I always had a hard time in school, too. Nancy used to help me out with my papers because I’m a shit writer. So this is good practice for both of us 🙂

I just found out this guy named Eddie also knows sign language, so I want to try to get to know him better. He’s in Hellfire club with Dustin, Mike, and Lucas, so I’ll see him sometimes probably. It makes me feel less alone, I guess. I’ve been feeling alone a lot these days. Maybe that’s not a manly thing to say or whatever, but I’ve given up on trying to be cool. Cool is overrated, it’s lame-time for Steve.

Shit. Robin told me to stop talking in third person like that. She’d probably be fine with it this time though since I was calling myself lame while doing it.

Max and Mike both have their letters, so all is good on that end. All your friends here are doing well. I’ll keep an eye on them for you if you promise to look out for Will. Okay?

Until next time,

Steve

PS: Mrs. Vickers is totally trying to get with Mr. Samson. Keep me updated with this because now I’m invested.

Well. That was as good as it was gonna get. He sealed the envelope and climbed into bed.

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coraniaid · 6 months

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Other scattered thoughts on The Zeppo (that sadly don't give me an excuse to use R):

I get that it's part of the point of the episode, and it is a funny joke, but it still kind of annoys me that ... not just that we don't get to see the episode from Buffy's perspective, but that the background plot of this episode doesn't really make any sense in the wider continuity of Season 3. It just feels like it would have worked better in Season 2 or Season 4 to have this sort of unscheduled apocalypse (and indeed, Doomed in Season 4 does much the same thing). This season is meant to have an arc villain with a long-term plan that he's been working on for a century. We heard him say (in Lovers Walk, just a handful of episode ago), that this year was "too important" to let somebody like Spike cause random trouble in town. But he does nothing at all to stop a group of demons trying to literally open the Hellmouth? It kind of makes it hard to maintain suspension of disbelief or think of the Mayor as an actual serious threat. (Yeah, I know that this is just me being annoyed that the show isn't even trying to be the exact sort of show I wish it were. It won't be the last time that that bugs me.)

Weirdly enough, I like Cordelia and Xander's dynamic a lot more this episode than I think I did for the entire time they were an item. They do actually feel like they know each other and even think alike (both going for the Jimmy Olsen reference, for example), and however much she prides herself on being mean Cordelia is notably the only person this episode to actually talk to Xander like something approaching an equal (albeit an equal she doesn't like much). And am I imagining things, or are there hints this episode that Cordelia's family is already having money trouble? Why has she suddenly decided that owning a "shiny car" isn't actually important? Why do we not see or hear about Cordelia's car this episode?

"Two guys rassling ... but not in a gay way!" I mean, between this and Season 1's "he's a very attractive man! how come that never came up?" and Season 2's "I don't trust Oz with her [...] he's a senior, he's attractive" and "No worries, I can handle the Oz Full Monty" from earlier this season and Season 4's "I totally get it now. Can I have sex with Riley too?" and Season 5's "It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled" and so many more things the writers have had Xander say it really is something of a crime that the show never actually comitted to the idea that Xander is bisexual. Of course, to do that, the writers would have had to recognize that bi people exist, which is admittedly something of a stumbling block.

"I like the quiet" is one of those lines that (much like Giles's "she's a hero [...] she's not like us" in The Gift) seems to get weirdly misunderstood by large parts of the fandom.

With Jack casually raising his old buddies from the dead with their old personalities and memories intact and Oz accidentally eating a (mostly) human being while a werewolf and it being treated as a punchline rather than murder this episode isn't exactly great for tonal consistency with the rest of the show, huh? (I did warn you the instance above wouldn't be the last time the show's refusal to take itself seriously irritated me.)

Next up (assuming Tumblr's still around when I get to it): Bad Girls.

#btvs #buffy rewatch 2023

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carecrowgames · 10 months

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Yazeba Read Through #5

Hey, I skipped a day as I spent it recovering from the sun trying to evaporate my brainfluids. But delightfully I am back presenting you a reading extravaganza of .. 2 pages!

So let’s get into them, with Page 19 - Characters

Once I open page 19, seeing the Grey box with half rounded edges immediately excites me, as that seems how fiction boxes are marked. I wonder if we'll see some of the other residents this time, I would be excited to see some interactions with them. If I had to put money on someone it would prob be Hey Kid, because after they just had been introduced on page 17, i find it hard to imagine either book or reader would hold out long without seeing them some more on page. Their pure existence shouts for attention. Maybe it's an interaction between Hey Kid and Parish, considering they are the only starting residents, who haven't been introduced in fiction yet.

Ok but into the first sub chapter (?): residents! I realy love the framing of yazeba being a story that revolves around the residents and this in turn being how they are defined. Defining what a resident is within the story instead of the world seems like it prevents confusion. It also just feels consistent with how the book positions its world as seen through a storytelling perspective. More than that though, it’s simply endearing, to know that these are in a way our companions on the journey with the bed and breakfast. It makes them immediately closer to me.

This is also where exchanging characters gets introduced and oh my god, the entire concept is so fun! I got a taste for it in wanderhome (buy it at its so good oh my god, buy it now on https://possumcreekgames.com/pages/wanderhome) where it is one of the features that make the npc system so impressive to me. The traits you compose them from makes exchanging feel so natural. It helps keep characters consistent and easy to get into, while allowing the player who takes them over to not feel incredibly bound to imitating exactly what the previous player of the character did with them and instead rely on their own interpretation of the trait moves to guide them.

The fact that in this book players are encouraged to do so with the main characters, to come to understand and reinterpret them together, is incredibly exciting. I wonder what is done in the character playbook design to keep up consistency, or to help work together towards a common goal with the character, and to make it intuitive to pick them up. "It gives the character room to grow in a new way" Is such a beautiful way of putting the act of exchanging them. It highlights how it adds to the story told, making it feel like a great formulation to excite readers. Hell, it makes me want to exchange which character I play with someone right now and I haven’t even seen a playbook yet, let alone played a character.

Oh Hey, it's actually Hey Kid in the fiction block! And parish! I love that the dynamic between them so far is one of patience on parishes side, it's very heart warming and I love that there doesn't seem to be principle character tension between the residents. I had somehow expected Parish to be more annoyed by Hey Kid, so this is just the most pleasant surprise.

Apart from that, hey kid seeing themselves in Gertrudes situation in a way that delights them is so... it's such a character move, it says so much about hey kids specific view of the world and their love for the b&b. It makes me yearn to see Gertrude and Hey Kid interact in another fiction block but. If they don't, damn me if I'm not motivated to do it myself in a chapter and see what happens. This is such s tier character interaction potential dropped and they haven't even interacted yet. It already makes me appreciate the strength of these fiction blocks, not just for giving guidance for play and dropping narrative hints, but for giving you moments of character interaction and interaction potential that makes you want to write a god damn coffee shop AU, which is perfect because by god are you given the framework to play one.

Next Sub Chapter: Guests! Speaking of there seemingly not being much base tension between the residents, I can’t help but notice (my brain just somehow reminded me) that I skipped past something on Page 17: the NEFARIOUS VILLAIN Rag-and-Bones. Yet another delicious breadcrumb my dopamine hungry brain would have jumped after, back to the table of contents and directly to wherever I could read more about whoever could be a foil to these wonderful people. What a delectable thing to throw into the whole vibe of Yazebas, it both fits perfectly and changes everything in a way. Like the name and whimsical grandiosity of “nefarious villain” don’t make it seem like the character would threaten the warm vibe of the bread and breakfast, but it also introduces so much new potential into the coming scenes. You can not imagine the restraint it takes to stay on my current page.

Thinking about the residents as the main cast for the Story that is Yazebas Bed and Breakfast, It makes a lot of sense to reserve the antagonistic forces for the guests. Afterall, an individual antagonistic factor might be better reserved for an episode of a cartoon instead of a mainstay for all of them. But it also opens such potential for the chapters re-playability to consider how much introducing an antagonistic guest as a tertiary character might change their whole tone and dynamic as compared to one with a sweet and helpful one. How different might a birthday for Gertrude play out when Rag and Bones has invited themselves to the party?

Now though, reading how the book itself describes guests absolutely adds an extra dimension to them. I love the idea that their fundamental feature is that they have another home. That to them, the bed and breakfast is not the center of their world, or at least not the only center. It fits so wonderfully with the way Hey Kid understands Getrude, immediately knows to see her as having become one of the people in the bed & breakfast whos world IS the b&b. The differentiation gives such an immediate way to grasp the difference between the two and understand why it’s these 6 (7) we’re focusing on.

What I absolutely didn’t expect is that you could play several guests at once. I don’t know why, reading it it just makes sense that you would, but it sounds so cool. I love the idea of grabbing a handful of ones favorite guests, those that you want to see more off, want to give a bit more screentime, feel like might add a bit to the scene and play them all! The prospect fills me with the sort of excitement I would get from looking at a box of toys knowing I could just use multiple at once. Have you ever seen a multi-launcher for mini beyblades? Amazing feeling. Remembering the size of the list of guests in the table of contents it also just makes sense. If you have a smaller playgroup, and most scenes call for 2 of the residents you would never get to play them all.

Taking care not to let playing multible guests overshadow other Players reminds me that this – playing a large assortment of side characters - is a role a GM would usually play. Thinking about it from a GM perspective, being able to use multiple Guests also feels like a move that makes sure scenes don’t feel underpopulated. I assume (bzw vaguely remember from things seen in the past) that guests are going to be less mechanically complicated then residents – likely to be closer to kin in wanderhome then a playercharacter. So I can imagine handling multiple of them is cognitively much easier to handle then for example multiple residents and therefore allows them to fill this mass of character space much better.

I think this – the way that Yazeba transforms and maps the well-known roles and relations of ttrpgs (GMs, Players, Player Characters, NPCs, Scenes and the way it’s connected through time and space) into it’s own storytelling space, is going to be very interesting to trace as we dig deeper. I find the idea fascinating that the way Guests work, might take advantage of some of the learned GM dynamics and abilities players might bring to the table, without needing to directly put itself into conversation with them.

For now I have to say: I lied to you. I’m only doing one-page afterall, because it’s gotten realy damn late as I am writing this and I can feel my thoughts getting sloppy.

See you tomorrow as i enter page 20 .. which is still on guests.

—————

you can find my other Yazeba readthrough posts under #zeebthrough!

Preorder the game on https://possumcreekgames.com/pages/yazebas-bed-breakfast

#zeebthrough #yazeba's bed & breakfast #possum creek games #ttrpg #ttrpg community

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loudlooks · 7 months

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Day 1 - Pumpkin spice latte

A/N: Don't mind me, just feeding the neurotic need to do a 30 day writing challenge for all seasons, it's only been bothering me for, you know what, I don't even remember how many years it's been since I fail-finished the summer challenge. The original thought behind the winter challenge was to churn out and post a new story for 30 consecutive days, even if the quality wasn't great, in an attempt to improve my writing. I have since completely given up on improving my writing, forgotten what little I knew about writing, and basically just want to get this over with so I can stop thinking about it.

Editing will be abysmal.

Tag for blocking/following purposes: 30 days of fall

Prompt: Pumpkin spice latte

Vaguely set in season 3 I guess.

Word count: 497

"Pumpkin spice latte, please."

Tony eyed her with suspicion. "Who are you, and what have you done to my partner?"

Ziva shot him a confused look, before focusing on the wide variety of fall themed muffins and cupcakes.

He leaned in closer. "Since when does our local ninja assassin order pumpkin spiced anything?"

"Since Abby bought me one after I helped her with something," she said matter-of-factly.

"Hmm, should've know nothing good could come from a goth mad scientist and a Mossad spy working together."

"What do you have against pumpkin spice?"

"It's...girly, what did you help Abby with?"

"You had a pumpkin spice latte yesterday."

"I am very confident in my manhood."

Ziva looked him up and down slowly.

He held up a finger to silence her. "You, Abby, tell me."

"She wanted my help reconstructing a murder."

The barista placed her drink on the counter, she ignored his wide-eyed look, and grabbed the latte with a smile of gratitude.

They walked out of the coffee shop, and were greeted with a pleasantly warm breeze for the time of year. Ziva looked up at him gleefully. "She even made fake blood, the consistency was perfect, it wasn't body temperature, unfortunately."

Tony stopped in his tracks, and she followed suit looking up at him questioningly, before taking a sip from her latte and humming in approval.

"Everyone at the office is going to call you the pumpkin spice assassin, you know that right?" He asked with a grin.

Ziva narrowed her eyes. "And why would they do that?"

"Because I have given every new hire of the past five years a nickname that stuck like glue." He grinned widely.

Ziva chuckled. "And how many of them were Mossad assassins, with a brand new friend in forensics?"

His grin faltered, and she patted him on the cheek. "Good decision."

Ziva took another sip, and they continued their walk. A moment later, she angled her head towards him. "Agent donut?"

Tony nodded and chuckled.

"Not very original, from what I understand that is a well-known stereotype."

Tony shook his head, trying to contain his laughter. "Not the food, he got shot in the butt." He laughed out loud.

Ziva looked at him with annoyance. "What is so funny about-"

He grabbed her arm, now wheezing with laughter. "No, he," he swallowed hard and tried to regain some composure, "he had to sit on one of those inflatable donut cushions for a month. Sometimes, it would make a farting sound when he moved, which is exactly what happened when we were all in MTAC updating the SecNav on a terrorist cell that had been caught buying big piles of manure to make explosives."

Ziva snorted as the scene played out in her mind. "That is funny." She looked at him pointedly, the corners of her mouth twitching. "If you are twelve."

He chuckled again, seeing right through her facade. "Looks like we're both twelve on the inside, then, Ziva."

#30 days of fall #ncis fanfiction #my fanfiction #i was beyond irritated and needed a distraction when i decided to start writing this challenge after all on october first #and it shows #have since mellowed a bit #i think

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dearweirdme · 8 months

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Some great messages and responses today about so many topics! And some goofy ones as well 😂 Still trying to wrap my head around the anon who thinks that Taekook (a pairing of two people, Tae and Jungkook) is a "persona" (the aspects of a single person's character that are outward/perceived by others). How exactly would that work? Are they so dedicated to it that they work around the limitations the company has put on them (one V Live since 2016 that had just the two of them in it but there were obviously chaperones in the room) by spending their free time together for a whole year of solo era just to keep up this "persona". The bowling, musical outings, skiing trips, working on songs, playing games, cooking/eating at each other's places, Tae's closest social circle including friends from high school becoming good friends of Jungkook and supporting him publicly like they've really gone all out for this "persona". And those are just the things we know about. I don't think they talked about the musical, skiing, or bowling outings. A fan got pics of them at the musical. A lot of it we don't know about, or we'll find out much later. So since the pair as a persona makes no sense, I think what anon was implying is that the "persona" Tae is putting on here is his care and affection for Jungkook. Which also makes no sense given what I just went over, and the additional fact that this is all from their "off" time when if they wanted to act this out they could do this in an official capacity for company content. But they haven't. For years. Their very close bond is most evident in their *private/non-work life*. And they are the only pair in the group that has demonstrated this level of closeness in solo era. This is not a drag on the others, they all love each other. But this is a simple fact. Even "anti-shippers" are coming around to defend Taekook's bond now because even they see how at odds this was with the "official" content and that Taekook are close even when the group goes its separate ways. Also, someone made a great point in the comments earlier. I am not a company stan, large corporations are evil there's no such thing as an ethical billionaire etc. Some of the company's screw-ups come from intentional malice, them attaching BTS to the credits of Seven was literal sabotage in that it was an attempt to keep Jungkook from charting higher than the group. That shows me that they will take actions that hurt their individual artists. I do think there is a pattern of Tae getting the worst of it, and I honestly do not know why. But someone commented earlier that some of the neglect and some of the mistakes they make are facilitated by the guarantee that the fandom will keep throwing money their way. They have no real incentive to change. At least with the credits situation not only did the fandom get loud, but articles started popping up in Kmedia. I wish the fandom could show a united front against the company's mistreatment, against sabotage, against Billboard but it was impossible to get a boycott (something they might actually pay attention to) going before solo era, now everything is so fractured and there is so much infighting...the situation in the fandom is pretty bad. I'll even admit I'm JK-biased and with all of the weirdness I saw starting with Seven and how resentment of him and his talent/success became even clearer I've stopped paying attention to anything but Taekook's solo careers for now. No negative feelings for the others, that's just all I have energy for at the moment.

Hi anon!

There is absolutely nothing to think anything about Tae and Jk’s bond is fake. There’s a chance we are wrong in how we interpret it, but there’s no chance that they aren’t very close and arguably the closest out of all members. Tae and Jk are very consistent in showing that closeness.

Yeah, I very much hate the powerplay. No matter how big an artist or a band gets, companies most of the time still hold the power. Fandom is hard as well, I agree.

#taekook #industry stuff

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larcenywrites · 8 months

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How would young!Tony and older Tony react upon finding you curled up in a little ball in bed whimpering and crying because your period cramps hurt so fucking bad :(?

He would would be very concerned, and with good reason. He may not know much, but nothing should hurt that bad unless it requires a doctor or something, surely 😣 and may try to recommend it, though that doesn’t exactly help right now :/ tbh he’ll definitely cuddle up to you, and will probably want to just lay on top of you if you let him 🥺 he doesn’t know if it’ll help, but he is warm and cuddly and heavy so maybe it does a little 🥺 and he’ll play with your hair or wipe away/kiss the tears on your cheeks :( he’ll probably also do a lot of research on his own to see if he can do anything! But it’s kinda hard when you don’t know exactly how it feels :( so he may feel a little shorty and useless bc if it :((

But real talk rq, it’s normal to have annoying cramping a day or two of your period, but super bad cramps (especially consistently) is not, especially if it’s also accompanied by a really heavy and/or irregular flow! I recommended starting on a vitamin D supplement + an Omega-3 (provided you are not on any blood thinners, as omega supplements can interact negatively). Of course, I can’t recommend a dosage, as that depends on many different variables like age and weight and what not, so always do research! It is always smart to talk to a trusted doctor or medical provider about awful period symptoms if available, but often times they wanna prescribe birth control first, which is fine if you’re comfortable with it and believe that it’s right for you, and also be sure to do your research on it as well as talk with the doctor! But if BC isn’t an option, many of my friends that I have recommend those supplements to have seen improvements :) though, consistence is key, and it may take 4-6 weeks to start working. I would also recommend finding a good Women’s multi vitamin (I like Garden of Life’s Multivitamin Code:Women, it says 4 a day but I take 2!) as they are created with plenty of zinc and B vitamins, which greatly nourishes the ovaries and zinc may also help suppress ovarian cyst development. I also recommend Peruvian red maca root (make sure it’s Peruvian and not the weaker Chinese version, and make sure it’s the red. I use The Maca Team company, via their website, and take 3 raw capsules a day), provided you don’t have any thyroid issues or sensitivities, but again, always be sure to do your own research and/or talk with a medical provider, and to talk with them if you have any medications or medical conditions. Maca root may be too expensive, however (especially when you’re buying it with other supplements), and multivitamins (especially the brand I use) and omega-3s can also get pricey depending on your dosage and preferred brands and where you live, but Vitamin D is often cheap and easily available, and is the best place to start, as it greatly benefits every part of the body! Another great habit to get into is making sure to work avocado, blueberries/strawberries/raspberries, spinach, and/or sweet potato into at least one meal a day, as those are considered superfoods as well as hormone balancing foods! Chicken, eggs, turkey, and low mercury fish are also very good for that, provided you are able to eat meat. Frozen and canned works just as good, as long as they don’t have too much sodium or added sugar! However, I am aware that this can be an expensive option, especially if buying with supplements. If you’ve had your blood work recently and know that the issue isn’t low levels of any vitamins or minerals, be sure to talk with the doctor, as there are some cases where BC is really your only option, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it of course. It just depends on your level of comfort with your period or with taking BC, if anything at all seems to help in any way (such as Tylenol, heat pads, etc), and whether or not you have any specific medications or known medical conditions. I also recommend non-carbonated kombucha for the bloating (among other things) 😘 provided you don’t have IBS or similar digestive distress issues, and aren’t sensitive to oxalates (in particular, getting kidney stones due to high oxalate levels). But if you’re a first timer, don’t drink more than like half a measuring cup or a single measuring cup, and don’t drink it really fast 😅 And keep in mind that while it is vegan and gluten free, there are low but existing alcohol levels, should that be an issue! And no, not enough to require an ID or to get drunk lol. Again, if you have any medications or medical conditions, always be sure to do research and/or talk with your medical care provider! And overall, be sure to stay hydrated on your period (and all the time really)! It can help with headaches and cramps, and is overall important.

I hope everyone here is 18+, but in case you aren’t, you should definitely ask a doctor before following any of this advice and also do research. Also, often times periods are most painful within the first 3-5 years of getting it, as hormones are new and constantly changing with a growing body. I also recommend you not be on this blog if this is the case 😅

I was once in a rough spot with horrible cramps to where I’d was crying or on a few occasions sick and a very heavy flow, and absent periods for up to 80 days even. It’s unfortunate how little info or care is provided to us, even by doctors :( I suffered for years until I kinda just started doing my own research and it took a good few years to get into a good spot and figure out what I needed and what I didn’t. I wish you all good health and hope you can all find the best routine and supplementation for your bodies and cycles :)

#anon #anonymous #answered #larstalks #sorry for the rant I’m a health food freak #I used to have horrible period pain until I figured out what my body needed #and so I hate to see others go through it when there may be a way to fix it :(#especially if it can be fixed a little more naturally than medications #and no I’m not some all natural freak dw I believe in meds and vaccines and all aspects of women’s health care 😭#but I do think it’s important to cut back on chemicals and processed things as much as possible!

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skiijumpinng · 2 years

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Cene Prevc on ending his career

a translation of this article on Siol.net

You didn't jump in any Grand Prix or Continental Cup competitions this summer. Any particular reason?

In the spring I realised that my other goals were more challenging than ski jumping and that I would sleep better if I did something in other areas. That's why I hardly trained anymore. A few times I jumped for fun. I am starting my studies in electrical engineering in October. I also want to finish the higher education programme for rural and landscape management at the Naklo Biotechnical Centre. As far as ski jumping is concerned, this means that I will not take part in the World Cup next season.

What about the Continental Cup competitions?

Not that either.

So you've finished your career then?

If it goes on like this, then yeah. The Slovenian Ski Federation is leaving the door open for me. If I am still of the same opinion as I am at the moment, then I will finish my career in Planica.

In the spring there were already rumours about this. How much of it was true?

I was persuaded not to end the story and to leave the door open. They've said I should think about it.

So what is the timeline for your decision? Are you still going to jump?

That's exactly it. Trainings are no longer my priority. I don't go to them anymore. At the moment, the only thing on my mind is to go from exam to exam. A few weeks ago I was asked what I was trying to get in shape for and I joked that it was for each exam.

Is there nothing tempting you to come back?

I would love to do some testing. I'm waiting for Peter Slatnar to make a new version of the shoes again after many years. I am waiting for him to finish them and test them. At worst, as a trialjumper on a ski flying hill. I simply cannot say goodbye to those.

What was the deciding factor, given that you had your best season behind you?

Exactly that – the fact that it was a great season.

Did the last season surprise you?

No, it didn't. Moreso personal challenges, what to achieve while growing in a particular sport. I was very close to making myself happy. What is more important in my mind now is to improve myself in other areas of my life. To finish two schools.

The season starts in November. When will you decide?

Realistically, it's more or less decided – I'm not going to jump. The federation suggested that I should think about it. Personally, it hasn't happened. I haven't changed my mind in six months.

But you jumped well at the national championships. You were fourth, just behind the podium.

I laughed to myself because I jumped well. But from jump to jump, it was obvious that I was making bigger and bigger mistakes. You need consistency.

If you look at your career, the last season must have given you the most satisfaction. What did ski jumping give you?

First of all work habits. There were a lot of difficult moments in between, so it's hard to be surprised by any moment in my future. Not only the moments from my life, but also from others I've heard.

What has been the most beautiful moment in your career?

The last jump in Planica, where I jumped 246 metres. And immediately afterwards, 243 metres in Vikersund.

What about the Olympic silver in the team event?

It's a very nice memory. But that Olympic medal is an indication of how much effort and torture it takes to get anywhere. That Olympic competition was not difficult at all compared to the internal qualification we had the day before.

#good for him i guess he seems genuinely happy with his decision #but it does sound kinda depressing idk #and unexpected #i think the olympic cycle is just doing its thing tho #everyone starting to think if this makes sense anymore for another 4 years #and i guess he achieved everything he wanted #will not add him on the list tho i wanna see him jump in planica first #ski jumping #my translation #cene prevc #damn the offseason

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analog-cottage-gore · 10 months

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Hey I saw you were looking for questions about your Wtd aus? Well i couldn't pick one so here's a question for all of them!

Hazelnut tree: What's the alison in this au like? I would love to see his dynamic with more characters and we know he ends up with hazel. I wonder what his rule following personality would look like next to winnies moral roulette wheel.

Scaly secrets: You said some of the cast were dragons? Which ones!? And what colors. Are they all the same kinda dragon or different styles?

Cryptic Dreams: Is everyone a cryptid or are some of them hunters? What are some ways they avoid the hunters using their cryptid abblites?

Superhero: what are their powers? Understandable if you haven't got that all figured out yet. Superheroes are hard. So i'm also going to ask are they all heroes or are some of them villains and vigilantes.

Post cannon au: Who shares rooms? How many bunk beds? Or do they all get their own room?

Mixed marriages: Where did you get the idea for the kingdom names you wrote about in the snippet you posted?

Robotic fantasy (I LOVE EXTRA ANGST): I noticed we are in a lot of the same fandoms so what other fandoms exactly are being thrown into the mix here? And what's your favorite duo of a WTD character partnered with a non WTD character?

I'm sorry if it's a lot of questions I have a lot to ask! Hearing about cool stuff like this always inspires me! Gets me thinking you know? They just all sound so cool! Hope you don't mind the length!

Salty I am so fucking happy you don't even know, this is my favorite ask ever I couldn't even imagine this!!!!!! I don't mind the length the length lets me ramble about my ideas which I need to do!!!!!!

Hazelnut tree: Allison would probably secretly tag along with Hazel and Night Light, and therefore ends up talking to the whole little group that's building. Allison would hate Winnie before his redemption due to helping Litho so much. After Win's redemption though? They'd probably get along relatively well, helped by the fact that I'm pretty sure their related, and at the very least they are in HNT.

Scaly Secrets: Currently the dragons consist of; Sara, Wiatt, Carly, Mike, The Triplets, and Winnie! Sara is dark pink, Wiatt is blue, Carly is light pink, Mike is orange, the Triplets are their respective animatron main colors, and Winnie is purple. Kept the color choices simple. Currently I don't have any great ideas on designs/abilities for the dragons, but I'm working on it! (They're all technically dragon shifters btw)

Cryptic Dreams: The cryptids are all the animatronic possessers (minus Eric who has a different deal going on) and Sara and the Twins. The main plot revolves around Wiatt, Damian, Celio, and Oliver thinking all tge cryptids have been taken by cryptids since they don't know they are the cryptids. So they team up with actual cryptid hunters to find them. Carly is also in the team to try and keep everyone from finding out about the cryptids while also stopping them from getting hurt. They use their abilities in a lot of ways, mainly to trap the hunters.

Superheros: Decided to answer both at once with a list, not everyone had powers decided on yet. A lot of them use the animatronic names as alter egos, and those who don't have. Kinda bad names lol.

Heros: Starlight (Lewis)* [????? And Specialized Telekinesis], Glory (Alyssa) [Water Manipulation and Siren Song], Rex (Mike), Ribbon Dancer (Ribbion Dancer)

Vigilantes: ???? (Wiatt) [Tech Manipulation], Detective (Damian) [Power Sight], The Triplets (The Triplets), Cheer (Carly) [Super Speed]

Villains: Shadina (Sara) [Shadow Powers and Specilized Telekinesis], Tela (Oliver)* [Tech Manipulation and Specilized Telekinesis], Winnie (Carlos/Winnie), Litho (Litho) [Shadow Powers], Lolli (Liz)*, Pop (Ben)*

(*depends on where in the plot they are)

Post Canon: As a general rule, all couples and young siblings share a room. So we got:

Lewis/Wiatt

Mike/Alyssa

Oliver/Damian

Liz/Ben

Mascarade/Melody/Mimic

Eric(/Ribbion Dancer technically)

Carly

Sara

Celio (maybe, idk if they're gonna live with everyone else)

Fun fact, the house they live in is the mansion Wiatt was implied to have lived in during highschool!

Mixed Marriages: The kingdom names cam from me translating a word relating to the character who's a royal in that kingdom into Spanish and Russian before mushing them together and making it look and sound like a kingdom name.

Robotic Fantasy: Pretty much all of them. We got:

WTDW

SAMS

FNAF SB in general

ESMP

MCYT in general

Maybe some of my oc's???

Personally I like Lewis, Moon, and Pearl's dynamic. They go through some shit together.

Also!!! Bonus new AU:

Mcyt (mainly empires) and Wtdw popstar AU has been circling in my head recently, so add it to tge list of AU's

#welcome to dreamworld #wtdw #empires smp #sams #sun and moon show #hazelnut tree au #Scaly Secrets au #Mixed Marriages au #Wtdw house au #Wtdw super ah #Cryptic dreams au #Robotic Fantasy au #Crossover popstar au

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rin-and-jade · 10 months

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Helloo!!! <3 I hope this message finds you well and that you'll have a wonderful day/ evening :)

So. First of all I am really grateful for your blog because I managed to understand some things about my problems.. also I should say first that im only suspecting I might have did or osdd 1b and im trying not to exaggerate about this self diagnosing thing and taking it slow (its almost a year since then and I think this diagnose describes exactly my struggles) but anyways. im pretty sure I have cptsd! so it might be just ptsd...

But I wanted to ask you bc I just dont know who else to ask this: are there any particular techniques to minimize trauma regarding learning or studying? (like I was receiving physical beatings for fucking years.. because I couldn't concentrate while trying to study- sorry for the unnecesary details) im really trying my best and sometimes I try to speak to the little of our system about the whole process of studying and how its not going to hurt her, that mistaking is very normal and from mistakes we will gather experience and that our abuser cannot do us harm anymore, so on and so on. It works mostly but she's not the only one who has problems regarding this specific trauma so its a lot harder to keep up with everyone wlse who might be triggered. I can't always hear them responding to me or giving me any sign of anknowledgment when trying to explain what is happening but the hardest part is concentrating and not feeling extremely tired... it goes without saying that this is very frustrating. And its been already two years since I tried my best to study. I just always seem to fall in the same pit..

I hope it makes sense what i've written here and if you dont have any advice then its totally fine!!!

P.S. this is not my native language. sorry :'D

Im so sorry that you’re having a really hard time around the aspect of studying, it makes me happy that you’re still kicking and trying,, asking help from me is totally fine even if you’ll need it multiple times, im gladly creating answers that could work for people and you.

I had gave a thought, we can do a few things like having exposure therapy (the technique), having a study buddy, and for the concentration such as using a different learning media, breaking it smaller with breaks each, and using more techniques for this too.

Regarding about study difficulty:

Exposure: this is a repeated process where your brain is given something it used to find as dangerous from the past and be stuck on a flight or fight response whenever it appears again. Be repetitively exposing what it fears, the brain always expects a bad outcome, and the thing is to ride it through until it knows it’s a false alarm and go “oh wait its not happening” until the initial stress from it is gone, this can be done by yourself (because i did). This is best done in a calm environment where you will attempt this, and call quits if its overwhelming for the first few tries,, but never drop it forever.

Study buddy: this is a great way to deal with it when studying alone feels too tedious to do. Studying together is helpful as your brain can re-associate what studying is actually like, you can do this with your current friends, it can be done physically or you can do it by online too.

For better concentration:

Media: studying about a topic that is presented in a video with visual representation keeps your eyes wondering less, since more elements are in there rather than reading a textbook, where it’s easy to drift off when words feel too much.

Breaks: studying in a prolonged time also defeats the motivation and focus, I personally study for test as i play (literally), in intervals. I review the necessary subjects in parts, rehearse, play, go back and revise what i remember and the previous one too,, rinse and repeat until i can remember the whole topic that needs to be memorized for the test. But this can be applied for regular learning where it’s just done in consistent intervals.

Others:

Destressing, it helps remove unnecessary clutter that’s taking space in your mind interfering focus.

Music, adding a background noise while studying may help some people and especially who needs sensory stimulation to focus properly.

Rewards, having a goal to reach to will make you easier to focus, and when you reach it (say 5 minutes of reading then want to watch a reel) your brain loves it. Then do it again.

I hope this can help you, this took a while to write everything so i don’t know what else haven’t got listed (because I can’t remember all at once) but nonetheless, try them, i insist!

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did system #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #plural #system stuff #sysblr #janswersask

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wartakes · 9 months

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Setting the Stage (OLD ESSAY)

The following essay was originally posted on October 25th, 2020 (the first War Takes essay I ever did).

In this essay, I basically laid why I was writing War Takes content to begin with, using my own political development and awakening and professional background as context. (Full essay below the cut)

The last few years have seen a remarkable surge in the popularity of leftist political thought in the United States – though it is clear that leftist ideas still have a very long road to travel before reaching full, mainstream acceptance. I’ve recently seen myself take my own personal journey of “coming out of the closet” when it came to accepting my actual inner political compass – one that started in earnest around 2015/2016 and finally came to a head during the 2020 Democratic primaries.

For years I saw myself as a fairly typical, center-left, liberal foreign policy and national security “wonk” (a term I used to think was funny and now makes me cringe so hard it feels like my face might turn inside out), coming from a fairly typical white, male, middle-class background. Now I’m still getting over the whiplash of the last year, which has seen me fumbling my way through trying to identify where exactly I stand within the seemingly massive and maze-like world of leftism and its various sub-ideologies as I’ve drastically changed my political outlook. I’m still traveling on that journey and slowly trying to figure out what I think, but along the way I’ve been introduced to a number of helpful people and have been educated on a number of subjects, challenging my past beliefs and assertions and pushing me to grow.

But as someone who is relatively new to boarding the leftist train, I’ve noticed there are some areas that – to me – it seems that leftist thought in the United States either hardly touches or doesn’t address at all. None among these has been as obvious to me as the subjects I was educated in and have come to work: foreign policy and national security.

It’s understandable to me why most leftists tend not to speak about these topics. After all, most average Americans, regardless of ideology, for one reason or another, lack a general awareness or understanding about national security and foreign policy – even if they understand that it is important (it could be argued how much of this is by design, but that’s a topic for another essay). In addition to this general fact, most leftists likely see other issues like systemic racism, police brutality, lack of social services, the rampant abuses and excesses of unchecked capitalism, and so on as more immediately pressing concerns – and for good reason.

However, the result here is that it feels like what little conversation that takes place within leftist circles about war and international relations is typically dominated by groups and individuals who do not provide helpful or constructive alternative solutions. Rather, they more often than not put forward solutions that – if not unworkable or infeasible – could be outright damaging and potentially inflict just as much death and destruction on people around the globe as current policies do if adopted, rather than achieving a more peaceful and just world. While I am still new to this, these perspectives feel like they are clearly contrary to the underlying principles of international leftist solidarity.

The current thought leaders (and why they’re not great)

One such group advocating these ideas consists of individuals that come from a diverse array of different sections of leftist thought that – while maybe conflicting in other areas – generally argue that the United States should engage in little or no military actions overseas and withdraw from most if not all of its overseas bases. Some go further, asserting that the armed forces should be disbanded entirely. While I disagree with these suggestions strongly for reasons I will elaborate on further, I completely understand why people would advocate for these actions and I empathize with their proponents in why they argue for it so strongly. They are exercising sympathy with disadvantaged peoples who have suffered at U.S. expense. When you see the huge amounts of pain and suffering that U.S. military operations and foreign policy actions in the last few decades have caused to multiple innocent populations overseas, a response of wanting to take the most extreme way possible to prevent that from happening is completely understandable.

However, while the intent behind this idea is pure, it is also naïve and potentially dangerous. If the United States elected a hypothetical “President Leftist” tomorrow, it is true that a great deal would change both here at home and abroad. But what is not true is that suddenly that the United States would no longer have enemies – depending on where the cards fall globally, it might even earn the United States more enemies.

While I am challenging many of my old views from before diving headfirst into leftism and have modified or outright replaced many, one that I continue to believe is that war is a condition that humankind will likely never be rid of. War has been and will continue to be a constant for the world. Obviously, war should be avoided wherever possible and should only be a last resort for defending yourself or your friends and allies from aggression. But despite this, war will still continue to occur and it will be something that a leftist government will still have to prepare for. Will we have to spend near as much on defense as we do now? I certainly don’t think so (and that is yet another topic for another time), but it is something that resources will still need to be put into under President Leftist. War will still be a worry.

This is where the naivety – as well as a bit of ethnocentrism or even another brand of American exceptionalism – is on display in the disarmament viewpoint. If the United States destroyed all its weapons and discharged all its troops under day one of President Leftist’s administration, it is extremely improbable that every other nation in the world would decide to follow suit even under the rosiest visions of internationalism. The United States having a leftist government almost certainly wouldn’t stop China from wanting to invade Taiwan, Russia from wanting to dominate its near-abroad, or a number of other scenarios across the world. If anything, these regimes would be cautiously optimistic about such a government arising in the United States, hoping it would give them more room to maneuver and achieve their long-term objectives. They would likely be ecstatic if the U.S. suddenly disbanded all of its armed forces, as it would give them free reign to pursue a laundry list of goals they had previously been constrained in reaching – and would cause harm to many others in the process.

This brings us to two other groups that dominate the discussion of international relations and war in the leftist sphere, but I tend to think of as one overall type: “Campists” and “Tankies.” Campists, in a simplified sense, are those who think that if a country opposes the policies and practices of the United States, that country must therefore be good and is inherently an ally against U.S. imperialism and aggression to be applauded. Tankies – the colloquial term for everyone’s favorite Soviet apologists and fans of authoritarian socialists – take a similar tack, though the subjects of their affection are almost always only countries with socialist systems, while Campists may boost countries that are not exclusively socialist.

While different, both these groups broadly the same thing: that we should just let certain countries do whatever they want because the U.S. government is bad and these other states are good. The average campist’s main reason for this is that because the country is not the United States or a U.S. ally, it must be good and should be supported in its efforts – an outlook that in many ways could simply be considered in the vein of Edward Said’s orientalism, fetishizing other countries and cultures to create an imagined ideal that they may not be able to live up to. For the tankie, the logic is that since the country is socialist in any shape or form, it must be good and therefore should be supported in its efforts. Both these groups tend to turn a willful blind eye to any transgressions the states of their affection have committed against their own citizens or other states – while of course relentlessly criticizing all U.S. actions worldwide.

This leads us to a critical point, which I attach with an important disclaimer: I am not saying that the United States can do no wrong. If I did that, I’d basically be doing the same thing as a tankie or a campist in reverse. I wouldn’t be writing this multi-page rant in my free time if I didn’t think the United States was doing an incredible amount of harm through its international actions. But this still leads us to an important point:

Just because the United States is doing bad things, doesn’t mean no one else is.

Multiple things can be bad at the same time.

Multiple countries can be bad (and not just ones that are U.S. allies and partners).

This seems to be a fact that many leftists struggle with – not just the full-blown Tankies and Campists. Just because the United States and its proxies have committed inexcusable acts at home and worldwide does not mean China or Russia or Iran or North Korea have not (and they all absolutely have; fight me). This doesn’t mean we should only focus on the acts of those countries and turn a blind eye to those of the United States, but the opposite isn’t true either. It certainly doesn’t mean that we should be supporting these regimes and rooting for them in their quests to brutalize their own citizens or infringe upon the rights of people in other countries, or any number of other horrible things their regimes wish. Instead of trying to find an imagined ideal role model country, we need to accept that there is no perfect model free of transgressions for us to emulate. Leftists will need to accept that there are good things – or at least neutral things – that the United States should continue doing, while also taking inspiration from other countries both past and present in order to make right all that is wrong in our own country.

Why we need to do better

That final point reinforces why leftists need to get smarter on these issues and build up our own bench of experts in international relations and the study of war. One day – in the hopefully not-so-distant future – when President Leftist takes office, they are going to face many of the same issues that presidents past have faced, as well as a whole host of new ones we may not even be able to comprehend right now. Even after the United States ceases engaging in aggressive, imperialist actions of its own, other states will continue to do so and new contenders may come to the fore to seize their own opportunity to stake out an empire. The simple truth is that under President Leftist, the great power competition that has characterized international relations in modern times will almost certainly remain, even after the United States commits to a necessary retreat from empire. Ideally, this great power competition and its impact will be lessened over time. But my cynicism is again on display in that I don’t believe we’ll ever fully be rid of it – at least not in any near-future timeline that I can foresee.

With all this in mind, if President Leftist chose to disband the military as disarmament proponents assert, or simply let certain nations do as they pleased as Tankies and Campists would prefer, they would not only be forsaking one of the fundamental tenants of leftism – that is, internationalism, they would also be showing a fundamental lack of empathy for the fate of others. As Francis Horton and Nate Bethea of one of my favorite podcasts – What a Hell of a Way to Die – have taught me: you simply can’t be a leftist if you don’t exercise empathy. That empathy doesn’t stop at borders. If we chose to forsake other oppressed populations the world over under our own leftist government, we wouldn’t be worthy of the title. Isolationist leftism is simply an oxymoron.

Another issue that many leftists don’t consider or don’t wish to address is the way the United States has become essential to global stability (another thing I can only briefly address here, but hope to address more in a future essay). The United States ceasing its pursuit of neo-colonial empire and abandoning said empire and further imperialist activities are admittedly essential if we are to build a more stable, free, and just world for everyone who lives in it. But if the United States were to immediately withdraw all overseas military forces under day one of President Leftist’s administration and cease any and all military operations, it would likely be extremely damaging and harmful to many people across the world. Serious discussions can and should be had about how big the U.S. military should be, what it should do, how it should do it, what is better saved for diplomacy and foreign aid, and so on. But these are not the discussions that leftists are having now. The discussions are dominated by those with the ideas that could potentially do the most harm to the most vulnerable people.

This is why I decided to write this essay (with some encouragement from friends), and why I hope to be writing more like it and undertaking other efforts to distribute my thoughts. I want to explore more of what foreign policy and national security policy would look like under our hypothetical President Leftist. I think it is an area – among others – that we as leftists are fundamentally unprepared for. If we ever hope to govern and enact real, fundamental, society-altering change in this country, we’ll need to have seriously thought about what exactly that would be and how exactly we would carry it out. As someone who has spent most of their academic career learning about these subjects and has now become a practitioner of them, I feel this is a way I could give back – with the help of those that I’ve met along the way – to the community I’ve found my way into as I continue to discover myself and find a place in it.

No doubt people will disagree with me (certainly, many among the groups I’ve singled out as the target of my ire). Some people will argue against what I’m saying in bad faith (say hello to being ignored). Others will be opposed because they may have a hard time challenging their own long held views – which is understandable, as I still struggle with many of my own. But it is my hope that the thoughts I’ll be putting out here will encourage greater discussion and deliberation among leftists on these issues, and lead to a wider variety of voices becoming involved and helping to develop policies and solutions that can lead to a better world.

A better world is possible, but a perfect world is not.

#War Takes #War Takes Essay #leftism #leftist #socialism #democratic socialism #international relations #IR #national security #national defense #international security #foreign policy #foreign affairs #war #essay

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crowtrobotx · 8 months

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The set up: I wrote a fic where Chris proposes to Mia... like 3 hours after Ethan dies because in his mind "This gives me an excuse to protect Mia and Rose without anyone asking any questions as we know people are after them." So far, so good! EXCEPT! Ethan had a family. A family that were already a bit frustrated at how Ethan had to suddenly cut them off in weird ways. And Erica had already lost someone to weird government stuff before. When she was about 9, her best friend's family moved to Raccoon City and then suddenly died when it exploded. Erica never got answers so growing up, she spent her time trying to figure out what exactly happened. And the name "Chris Redfield" popped up quite a bit... So she doesn't trust the BSAA, she never trusted Chris and Jill when they showed up to support Mia during Ethan's (Very delayed) funeral. (Cover story was Ethan fell down a chasm while hiking and they never found the body. Erica wonders if Mia murdered him) and because of all this she becomes a reporter. (Elliot is an accountant and a foodie. Never figured out what Ezra did) She gets sent to Paris to do a bunch of journalism at once, including interviewing Claire Redfield. This is also when Mia and Chris' "Honeymoon" arrive in Paris. She obviously never told them, and they never told HER they got married - let alone that it was fake. This drives Mia into having.... a really bad night while Claire tries to smooth things over by taking Rose and Erica out for the evening. Dropping Rose off the next day with Claire and seeing that Mia and Chris were... not as lovey dovey in Paris as one would think, she asks Mia for the Truth. And she gets it. All of it. How her brother was no longer human. how he REALLY died. What Chris was doing. What Rose was. And with that Erica joins the little Conspiracy of Chris, Mia, Claire, Jill, and Leon to figure out who the heck wants Rose, what the BSAA are doing, and why. I'm not very good at creating OC's. I look more for gaps in the story or abilities that they need to fill, and I honestly really like Erica. She's suspicious but not paranoid. She's tough but she listens to things. She plans ahead as much as she can but she goes with the flow too. She got a pet lizard the holiday after Brittany died because her family didn't know what to do and decided presents was SOMETHING and she named the lizard Brittany. She uses her jouranlism skills to help them in the end. (the fic is "As Long As You Should Have Lived" and I wish I had an excuse to go back to the world since I've finished it. But it ends nicely with no need. I do feel like Erica and her family are still kicking around in RE unless Capcom declares Ethan an only child Orphan. While the relationship between Chris, Mia,duty, grief, and guilt is the core of the fic, Erica is her own angle on those themes too. I love her. She also looks like Ethan's female twin for the most part too. Or a 30 year old Rose)

WHAT this sounds so interesting!! I really like this because I think there is a significant lack of information about what on earth happened between RE8 and the SoR DLC (I don't buy the half-assed "explanations" they give in game at all.) Erica sounds so cool, I love her. I am partial to OC's who are reporters (Kris is a journalist in Chrysalis) so I already love her. What kind of lizard is Brittany?? I think creating OC's is genuinely quite hard when working with existing material and it doesn't get appreciated enough. Like, sure, you can just make any guy and shove them into the story, and honestly sometimes that is very fun and turns out well, but having them actually feel like they fit and belong is sometimes a monumental task. I think looking for gaps and someone to fill them is a great strategy! And frankly even if Capcom canonized Ethan being an only child, I would ignore it lol. They are so, so bad at consistency in their own lore and it's borderline comical.

#asks #haveievermentioned #i'll need to check out the fic for sure!!!

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astriiformes · 1 year

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3, 9 (pairing in the platonic sense for that one), and 27 if you'd like for the ao3 wrapped asks!

3 - What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Hm! I am actually really proud of a couple of things I wrote this year, but if something written half this year/half last year is allowed, I think I might have to go with Aurum Horizantale, my CR1 alternate Briarwoods arc that was also a charity auction gift for @twitcherpated (who gave me a cool prompt and a ton of creative freedom, which I am grateful for on both counts because I really like how the end product turned out!)

I'm proud of it for a lot of reasons, but a big one is that it's the longest fic I've ever written (11 chapters, and over 50k). I have a hard time sticking with longer projects sometimes but the fact that it was a gift for someone else really helped keep me on track, as did the fact that I managed to write a really thorough outline, that also let me do some really neat foreshadowing because I knew exactly where the story was going.

It's far from my most popular fic (especially this year) but the comments I have gotten on it have been delightful and I loved the influx of people reading it as the new Legend of Vox Machina show aired concurrently (and the fact that I put a thing into the fic that ended up actually happening in the show's slight rewrite of the original stream's canon too!)

9 - Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Stretching the definition of "pairing" even further here but writing the Emerald Entrails in Several Witches Are Typing was a lot of fun, and I have so many emotions about them as a little group of friends. I honestly get a bit of a pang seeing people refer to Gus & Willow & Hunter as the "Emerald Trio" because I'm immediately like "No! There are five of them!!" seeing as Viney and Skara have a very special place in my heart also. It was really fun doing my best to flesh them both out for the story in ways that still felt consistent with canon, and writing the whole team was such a great little challenge -- I loved trying to find ways to make their teamwork feel balanced and give everyone something to do, but that still felt like it was tied to their strengths and necessary (as opposed to the heist equivalent of busywork, haha).

27 - What do you listen to while writing?

I actually usually don't listen to music while writing!

But that said, I did blast "Holding Out For a Hero" a frankly unreasonable number of times while I was finishing editing the last chapter of Several Witches Are Typing, to the point that I was genuinely surprised to see the song failed to make my Spotify Wrapped this year. It just felt right.

#ask meme #my writing

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pbandjesse · 9 months

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I'm exhausted. Like bone deep exhausted. And it does not help that I'm still in a lot of pain. But now there is new pain too. Because I did to much showing off. When will I learn.

When I got home last night I was just really happy to eat my leftover chipotle with James and then take a hot bath. I kept a rag with the hot water around my shoulders and it helped lessen the pains in My neck. And then I had a little bit of luck with some of the stretches that Mom sent me. They didn't help as much as I was hoping but a lot of the reason is because I can't get my shoulders to drop down and they're like up around my ears. I'm trying very hard but it is not exactly working.

I woke up this morning and I wasn't actually hurting too much. I got dressed and I felt pretty good. My hair feel very dry today but that's okay. I might go and try to get some kind of dry oil at the store tomorrow I don't know if that concerned about it. It was going to be a nice day.

I stopped from McDonald's for breakfast but then they gave me regular cook instead of diet and I was pretty disappointed. And I didn't want to go back so I would end up giving it to PJ because I didn't want it to be wasted.

I got the camp at 8:00 and things were okay. I did not really walk around as much as I have been because I was so sore. So after I made sure everything was set up I got in my hammock and I just chilled until around 9:00.

That's when Candela told me that the tipis were heading to the council right and that she would love my help. So I got to spend a little less than an hour helping out with them and it was so fun.

They had to mix the sand with powder pigment and they needed some more so I remembered that I had some from years ago from day camp so CJ ran up to get the gator bring that down because it was very heavy. And Candela went to go get some rakes so that the kids could get council ring all ready for The image and then they would color it in.

It took a while to get everything ready but once it was ready I had so much fun trying to draw these horses. I did a rough sketch first in the sand as they were raking just to figure out the scale then I had candela look at it and see if it was the right size and what she was looking for. I'm not really very good at drawing horses so this was a little nerve-wracking but it ended up being great. And I was very fast at it so while Candela was supposed to do one and then I was doing one and then we were going to have two other people would on the others I did three of them in the time she did one. So we completely finished the actual drawing and the kids were able to jump right into coloring them in with the sand.

And I just felt so proud. Both of myself for drawing a horse consistently three times even though they were very chunky. And for the kids for doing such a good job tracing it out and coloring it and making it look so beautiful. I hope everyone appreciated it because it looked amazing.

I had told woodlands that I was in the council line because they're always late arts and crafts so I wasn't going to be rushing back up there and even though I didn't get up there to almost 10 I still beat them there. But once I got there they were very sweet and honestly everyone did really good for that. I didn't have really any issues except for a hot glue gun burn later in the day. Everyone else did an excellent job.

Good morning went really well though and I got to work on my blanket which is almost completed. They're still going to be a lot of finishing work and sewing down woven edges and stuff but the actual attaching of the blanket is almost done. I only have The one panel left and then it will be completely put together. And I am so happy. Louisa would come and she was very silly today she did some embroidery then she got bored and she want to try other stuff.

So I showed her how my Ariel silk worked for yoga and she ended up being really good at inverting and so I showed her how to do like a pike and invert and do harness and a backpack not and then we played around with a couple shapes. She's really good at it because I wanted to show off things I know how to do I absolutely bruised my lower back. Feels nice though because I miss doing it I'm just not very strong anymore in my upper body so I was for sure trying to do too much but I was having so much fun and now I want to buy a whole apparatus and get back into it because I love it so much I just hate the classes because I hate waiting. So we'll see what happens but it was really nice to do that and I'm glad that she enjoys it but I'm also very worried about her breaking her head open. Because she was doing it a couple of the other kids wanted to try it including a counselor so I had a couple people walking through how to go upside down and some of the news and I was just watching a lot of heads making sure no one was going to fall. It was just a blast.

At lunch I walk down to the council ringless Louisa to see the finished course painting and it looked so good. Took some pictures and then went to the dining hall to get french fries. The vegetarian option was not done yet and I did not want to wait any longer. And I wasn't that hungry anyway because I had brought my McDonald's sandwich. Now I spent some time just laying in my hammock. I read for a little while. And it was really nice. I was still really sore and my neck was hurting but when I had inverted on the hammock I was able to just kind of let my shoulders go for the first time and it hurt but it didn't feel as tight and so I think I need to work on that a little bit more. Something to think about.

My afternoon groups were great. There was a burn injury which was upsetting. She wasn't even using hot glue gun she was next to someone using hot glue gun and there was a pile of pot glue and she accidentally got her finger on it and my first aid stuff kicked in and I was very calm and I kept reassuring her and I got the hot glue off of her I put her hand under cold water for a few months but she was scream crying and I felt so bad. And I know it hurt because it was big and pink and circular. I called the nurse and while we waited for the nurse I got an ice pack for her and we sat and I just made sure she was okay and I was very calm. I don't ever want to seem dismissive but me freaking out at the same time as her freaking out is not going to help anything. And then once the nurse came up she gave her burn cream and everything was all right nobody was freaked out she was just more upset that she thought she wasn't going to be able to the project just the nurse told her to not use her finger too much. So I would have attach everything but she would direct how to do it and she ended up with a very cute puppy. Everything would be okay.

And tipis would come and I had a great time just chatting with them about siblings and telling stories and listening to their stuff. I taught Aubrey how to make a bracelet on the circle loom. And I kept working on my sewing and it was a good day I was having a lot of fun.

At the end of tipis's program Louisa wanted to show them all how she could do a split in the silk so I let her go up in that and then we were showing off a couple different moves and then it turns out one of the kids also knew how to do it from taking circus classes so we let her go on it and it was just a very silly and a lot of fun. I'm just glad nobody got hurt. I let alexie know that we have been playing around with it and she said that she trusts me and that she's not worried that I would let someone get hurt on profess. Even if we are doing something dangerous I'm making sure we're doing it safely even if we don't have a crash mat.

I wasn't sure if they were going to meet me to stay to help with pick up at the end of the day road really hoping they want because I very much wanted to go home. My neck was hurting still on my back was bruised and my thighs hurt from running the horse last night. Nothing was too bad and wouldn't be until I got home but I really wanted to leave.

I went down to the office to double check that they didn't need me. Annabelle head volunteered to do the bears so I did not have to. And then I waited for Celia to bring a few things up that she had borrowed and I myself together and then I was off.

I drove to home Depot to get the tile adhesive I needed for next week's project. Right before I left I made sure that everything was set up and I know I'm not going to have enough objects but I think it will be okay at least for a couple days. So I worked on that and got everything together and then went to the store. When I got to the store immediately I found a very nice man to show my picture to of what I was looking for but they did not have the one I wanted. So he found me an alternative that was only slightly more expensive and I asked my questions like the cure time and texture and he said it was like a white peanut butter and I said oh the kids call it forbidden green cheese and he literally belly laughed out loud and it was so cute. And I just thought that was the sweetest thing.

After I paid I headed out to my car and there were two girls, young like teenagers or 20 somethings, parked behind me and they were laughing at my stickers and they came out and they told me that I was very cool and that they knew that the person they parked behind was just a really neat person and that made me feel very good and I said I just want people to think that I'm just a little weird. It was a very cute interaction and it everyone drive home.

And the drive home was fine. No traffic or anything but turning my head to look for cars hurts a lot still. I'm doing it but I am for sure turning my whole shoulders.

Once I got home honestly I started falling apart more. Everything started to ache and I think my body up and holding itself together because I couldn't do anything about it and so when I got here I was just like falling apart. James was making us food and they tried really hard but the mac and cheese didn't come out right. It was very salty and very oily. But I really appreciated them trying and we both had hot dogs. I have a vegetarian one for my Kia. It was very good. And then James went and got me acetaminophen from Walgreens because apparently that won't bother my liver as much. Because I just could not function with my neck hurting this much. Like I couldn't turn and look at the coffee table.

Sweet pea late with me and we had some ice cream and it was kind of a rough evening but I was happy to be home and be with the two things I love the most. My husband and my cat.

Eventually I went and took a shower and washed my hair real good. And I felt a little bit more like a person. I got in bed and watch TikToks for a while. Eventually though I was very sore and I just wanted to close my eyes. James came and laid with me and I close my eyes for like a half an hour. But I wanted to get my post done so that I can go to sleep for real because I still have to work at the farmers market tomorrow. And Anna is not going to be there so I have to be in charge the entire time. Which is fine. I'm just sleepy already so I'm not 100% looking forward to it. And then James is going to New York so I'm going to have some time nice but I will also miss them very much.

I hope it's a good day. I hope you all sleep great. And feel better tomorrow. Goodnight everyone.

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