#I actually finished the chap last Monday but if you can’t believe it. I was actually OUT OF THE HOUSE nearly the whole week!

[tallmadgeandtea]

Hi! SS&SP Chapter 11 is finally finished! With a shit ton of editing and little time to do it, of course, but here’s a snippet from a fun future scene where Lizzie and the boys get into shooting shenanigans, and Benjamin… well… you’ll see:

“You should demonstrate your special move, Bennyboy.” Caleb Brewster said, his mouth curled in a sly grin. He moved the pistol between his hands as if it were a plaything, wooden and ineffective, the bullet a ball tied to a string.

Elizabeth redirected her attention back to Benjamin. “Oh?”

He glanced downward, “I don’t think that’s necessary, Caleb. Would be a waste of bullets.”

“What are you referring to, Mr. Brewster-”

“Eh, Lizzie, what did I say?”

“Caleb.”

“I once saw him shoot a man while flying on his horse like a devil outta hell.” Caleb replied. “Quite a sight to see if you ask me.”

“She didn’t,” Benjamin said curtly.

The rest of the group’s interest piqued, the conversation lulled, nonverbal deliberation hanging in the air with the gunsmoke. “I agree with Brewster,” Hamilton, of course, with an eerily similar scheming grin— a gunner’s grin. “I haven’t seen a good cavalryman perform since my last raid with Harry Lee.”

Benjamin scoffed, a low, warning laugh. “I’m not performing, Hamilton.”

“Let him go.” Tilghman looked over his shoulder, past the tree line and towards Headquarters. Were the sentries watching, or was she seeing things? He shook his head, smiling gently at Elizabeth. “His Excellency doesn’t want any shooting that isn’t drills, let alone a pistol from horseback.”

“You’re wrong about that, Captain,” Caleb clicked his tongue, “we’ve been at it for an hour and he still ain’t sent one of those men to come and scold us.”

Tilghman bristled at the casual rebuttal. “Don’t push your luck.”

“It’s my speciality.”

“I will push mine,” Lafayette finally entered the petty argument, “His Excellency listens to any explanation I offer. Is that not the case, gentlemen?”

“Always is!”

She ignored the rising argument over Washington’s favoritism. She looked back at Headquarters. Was he watching? Standing at his office window with his hands behind his back, distracting the others from copying orders? Would he bring it up at dinner?

If they let me stay, I’ll defend them. If worse came to worst, she’d show Washington her shot. And she’d tell him Benjamin was the reason why. She still felt his strong hands on her arm, perfecting her stance, the way he whispered in her ear, the way she turned around and her chin almost grazed his shoulder, the way he smiled when they saw the bullseye.

The bullseye wasn’t on the target, though.

“Major Tallmadge?”

“Miss?” Benjamin’s voice struck down the argument.

“Will you do it for me?”

He considered it- he considered her, searching her expression in the lull between speaking, she tilted her head to the side, giving him a soft, inviting smile. Clever girl, Elizabeth. She tried convincing herself it was wrong to use what she learned in Philadelphia on him.

Useless.

“…If you really want me to, Miss Walker.”

Elizabeth and Caleb exchanged the weapon. She held the pistol. Was the handle still warm? Still pulsing with their shared energy? “I do.”

Benjamin nodded, resigned. “Just a moment.”

He took the pistol from her and tucked it into his belt. He left the group, grabbing his helmet and cradling it on his side. He disappeared from the clearing and transformed into a silhouette until he reached Headquarters.

Caleb inhaled sharply through his teeth, shaking his head. He folded his arms. “He just can’t say no to you, Lizzie.”

Lafayette and the aides raised their eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. Elizabeth caught Tilghman’s expression change— changed to his curious, almost apprehensive look from earlier. Take a step back, Ben, he’d said. She hadn’t notice they were practically- she couldn’t call it an embrace. Yet there was no other word she could use.

Even though he technically outranked him, Benjamin had listened to the order.

#SS&SP CONTENT IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024!!!!! #I actually finished the chap last Monday but if you can’t believe it. I was actually OUT OF THE HOUSE nearly the whole week! #anyways #they’re SO sillay! #so young and dumb and hot #who is this referring to? all of them #Miss Walker got her Glock! well. flintlock #the summer soldier and the sunshine patriot #SS&SP #turn fic #turn: washington's spies #amanda writes (kind of) #long post #otp: first thing in the morning

[taeyohonic]

stolen dances | chap. V

summary: sometimes supporting the person you love is the hardest challenge you’ll ever face.

pairing: jeon jungkook x fem!reader

rating: m

warning: one/two swear words

additional tags: f2l, ceo!jungkook, bestfriend!jungkook, shrink!yoongi, my best friend’s wedding meets 27 dresses (if the boss/secretary couple had happened), angst-y

words: 1500

links: prev. | next

note: lower case letters intended

chapter summary: a muffin never tasted so bittersweet

can you believe it’s been three years? i miss you army

you can’t help the bittersweet memories flooding your mind at jungkook’s tweet. it’s been such a long time since bangtan stood in front of their fans – performing their music to the people who adored them with all their hearts.

you, yourself, were part of this crowd, more times than your bank account wishes to remember. their stage presence was so enticing, so alluring, you could not not fall in love with them.

jungkook shared some pictures in his tweet, old photos of jin and him demolishing a plate of deep-dish pizza in chicago, of jimin and taehyung posing in front of their pop up store in seoul, and one with all four of them bowing to the crowd in tokyo dome.

there is a smile on your face – not because you think about their shared journey, but because your best friend chose photos of events that you attended. sure, you hadn’t known them back then. but it can’t be a coincident that you have similar pictures – granted from another perspective – on your own camera roll. it makes you miss him.

“what’s going on?”, yoongi asks as he slides your coffee across the table. your starbucks is full of people, but namjoon, yoongi’s dear friend, works here. so, there is always a spot cleared for you. you don’t mind the special treatment as you sip your white mocca.

“just thinking”, you mumble, warmed by the caffeine.

“that can’t be good”, he says and sips his iced americano. he looks as tired as you feel. yoongi is recording his second mixtape right now. so, after he finishes his work talking to people about their problems, he starts rewriting, taping, recording, mixing and editing. no wonder he looks like death.

“i have you know that i’m actually thinking 67 percent of the day.”

“that can’t be good as well, ______. please use your brain more often – it might evolve with training.”

you gap at his audacity. “you do know i’m not paying you to talk me down, right?”

yoongi’s eyes smile while his lips are still half asleep. “you’re not paying me right now, _____. we are just friends meeting up for coffee before we have to… be a part of the working class.”

“i still can’t believe i get to see beautiful, brilliant, boisterous butterflies”, you say. your friend answers with an unattractive snort as his hands move into his thick, bleached hair.

“and i can’t believe you’re getting paid to watch bonkers, brackish, boring butterflies.”

you look away as you see his biceps flex. when did get this muscular? it takes a second for you to register his insult. maybe you need another coffee before leaving.

“i do have to care about my class as well, yoongi. it’s not all sunshine and butterflies. it’s also children’s snot and education.” still, you’re not making eye contact. if this was a therapy session, he’d ask for you to look at him, to ask why you’re feeling uncomfortable. but here, you are… just his friend.

“your work is important, _____, i know”, yoongi answers honestly. he knows how much you love these animals and children. and it is a big deal that seoul’s butterfly exhibition opens up just for your excursion. it makes him happy to see you this excited.

“and because i know that, i’ll remind you that you had to leave three minutes ago.” what? your eyes rush to your watch, only to widen in surprise.

“damn it, namjoon”, you mutter. your barista friend did take a long time with your order.

“don’t blame joon, _____. we were the ones who missed the train”, your friend reminds you as you put on your jacket in a rush.

“less correcting me, more helping me, yoongi”, you shush at him and make a motion to your heavy bag right next to his chair. “come on.”

yoongi doesn’t know why he agreed to help you carry all the lunch packs to school, he really doesn’t. nevertheless, he gets up and slings the heavy bag onto his shoulder and grabs his half-finished drink.

“let’s go – teacher of the year.”

**

the exhibition is amazing. you feel true bliss walking around the nature themed rooms, all home to one of the most rare, beautiful creatures. the kids hang on their tour guide’s lips as she tells them interesting facts about butterflies.

your phone is a constant companion – the camera roll now filled with funny pictures for the moms and dads to enjoy at the next parent-teacher conference. there are even a few photos of just you with a pink butterfly resting on your shoulder. jisoo, your coworker, is an amateur instagrammer, so the results of her taking your pictures are… really flattering.

now, the kids enjoy their break before you guys leave to drive back to school.

“really, you amaze me, ___”, your coworker says as she sits next to you on the bench – eyes trained on your students chasing around the butterflies.

“why?”, you ask, your attention monopolized by the two boys in a heated exchange over their shared butterfly net.

“getting the exhibition to open up just for our class? after hours? without additional fees?”

you flinch at her words as your heartbeat quickens. “wha- what? jisoo? i-“, you start to stutter, “i thought… you organized that.”

there is a fruit basket waiting on her desk with a thank you note for all her planning. now jisoo, too, looks uncomfortable.

“i didn’t”, she says.

**

it takes you a long time before you reach out. the whole train ride was spent with a pro and contra list on your ipad. then, while you were making yourself a two-person bowl of ramen, you crafted more than one email, only to delete every attempt. you haven’t talked to jungkook for more than five days. that’s the longest period the two of you ever went without seeing each other.

there is still a tightness in your chest when you think about his insult that night on the terrace. at first, you weren’t sure if jungkook realized that he hurt you – admittedly you aren’t the best with communicating your feelings. but your cold responses to his texts the next day must have been enough of a red flag for him to act.

then came the gifts: a triple chocolate muffin, still warm, delivered to your home before you had to leave on monday.

on tuesday, there was a singed copy of the unreleased album from one of your favorite kpop groups.

the next day, there was a poem collection where he scribbled in some commentary. you nearly teared up at that because this used to be your ritual when you first got to know each other: lending books with marked and commented pages for the other to enjoy.

on thursday he was strangely silent – only a single daisy decorated your briefcase.

but now, on friday, he went out of his way to get your class into this exhibition. you don’t even want to think about what that must have cost him.

there is an uneasiness in your fingertips as you dial his number. for one fleeting moment you want to call your therapist instead. but you can’t… because you may have left your whole “cold-shoulder-to-jungkook”-move out of the last session. and you really can’t take yoongi’s probing right now.

he answers after seven rings, breathlessly happy.

“______”

you smile and it’s not uncomfortable.

“jungkook… you didn’t have to”, you greet him and can’t help the endearment in your voice. he picks up on that and chuckles.

“of course, i didn’t… i wanted to.”

“thank you”, you answer, “it was really the highlight of my week.”

you can hear his cockiness at your words. “better than stray kids’ new album?”

“better than your thoughts on contemporary poems”, you counter teasingly. then, there is a beat of silence.

“______”, jungkook begins, “i… i really didn’t want you to think i’m not … or that i wouldn’t… do anything for you. you mean so much to me… it’s a shame i have to prove it to you… it should be… obvious.”

you suck in air as if your life depends on it. his words warm your heart and his awkwardness makes you smile.

“i get that i wasn’t the best of friends… but i’ll improve – trust me!”, jungkook vows with fire in his voice. “the winter collection has been kicking my ass… my family has been nagging about christmas… and the wedding…”

there is a beat of silence you do not dare to interrupt. this is his moment, not your responsibility.

jungkook collects himself fast and continues. “i know how much you’ve done for this wedding, for me… for us… and i want to be more involved… i’ll be by your side for all of next week’s appointments. ms yang already cleared my schedule.”

jungkook wants… to be by your side when you talk to the dj? the cake decorator? when you finalize the seating chart? dear lord.

“let’s spend some quality time together, ____. just you and me… and the wedding.”

you cannot find the right responds as you gap silently into your phone. after a moment, another voice is heard through the speaker.

“ask her if she liked the muffin i baked her.” his fiancée’s words punch you in the gut without ill-intent.

___

hi guys! I hope you are doing well! i had to take my first covid test this week – it was negative but that’s an experience for itself, right? i hope you are healthy and you enjoyed this chapter. i’d really love to hear your thoughts! next up: junkook and the reader tackling some of the wedding preparation… love, dana

taglist: @livewittykid​  @thequeen-kat​ @kagami-s-void​ @goldenclosethobi​ @youwannabelostandnotbefound​ @jinsalpaca​ @bishuthot​ @laabellaavitaa21​ @baekstans​  @jalexad​

#btswriterscollective #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook angst #ceo!jungkook #idol!jungkook #rich!jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts angst

[meganshinsou-tm]

Sugarcoated. (m)

↳ chapter nineteen: just a little bump

❧ genre: pro-hero hitoshi, adoptive siblings, happy ending

❧ chapter warnings: slight angst

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

"I can't believe we're doing this," Hitoshi groaned as he rubbed his eyes.

Eri stood before you, your hands on her shoulder as the three of you waited your turn behind the tent that the costume contest was being held at. In a matter of twenty minutes, the two of you were able to teach Hitoshi a very easy and simple dance. It wasn't like he needed easy though, Hitoshi was surprisingly a really good dancer once he found a rhythm. 

Smiling, your hand reached over to touch his cheek. Lavender eyes looked in your direction with a soft smile.

"It won't even last five minutes, it'll be over before you know it," you tried to reassure him, "plus, you seem to have quite the little fan-club among the older students, I'm sure they've only dreamed about something like this a million times."

Rolling his eyes, Hitoshi took your hand, "Don't remind me. I swear I won't live this down." He looked to Eri, a hand ruffling her hair. "You're both lucky I love you so damn much, first I have to wear these ears, now I have to practically do-wop in front of the whole teacher and student body of UA!"

Before you could reply, the pair that was performing and strutting around made their way back out. The host, All Might himself, soon announced the upcoming act.

"And lastly but definitely not least, our very own Hitoshi Shinsou will be accompanying two lovely ladies, Eri and (Y/N) in a brief dance to 'I Like It' by BTS."

The sound of hoops and hollers were heard as Eri excitedly drug the both of you out from behind the tent's divider and before the crowd that had formed.

Suddenly your face went completely red at the amount of people staring back, stomach starting to feel queasy. You went to turn around and run off but Hitoshi chuckled and quickly wrapped his arms around your waist, dragging you back to the front. 

The sweet and catchy music had already started to play, Eri immediately singing along and dancing. Some eyes focused on her and others focused on Hitoshi standing you back up straight to face them, giggles and laughs floating in the air at the comedic display of him setting your body up like some doll.

"Neon nami doego ohiryeo deo joha boyeo pretty woman," Hitoshi mouthed with the biggest grin as he stood beside you and started to slowly catch up with Eri, "Come on halfling, don't get shy on me now."

Chewing your bottom lip, your eyes stayed on him, body slowly moving as well. Soon all three of you were in sync, stepping and sliding. Fingers snapping and wiggling towards the crowd as your hips rocked along.

"Don't wanna be fool, wanna be cool, wanna be loved neowaui same love. Baby I want it," you sang along finally looking out as the short dance ended.

The onlookers cheered and clapped, causing you to blush like crazy. Hitoshi wrapped a hand around your head, pulling it close and kissing your temple. He grabbed Eri, picking her up with a grunt and holding her on his hip as she giggled. After taking a bow, All Might made his way to the front, clapping also.

"That cuteness was beyond plus ultra everyone, I think we have a winner!"

After the contest, Eri ran off with Toshinori to find other foods and games to occupy their time. The former #1 hero was almost like a grand-father to the little girl and it was truly adorable to see the two of them interact. Thus, it left you and Hitoshi alone at the candy apple booth. 

After the last apple was sold, Hitoshi sighed as he came up from behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and hooking his chin over your shoulder.

"Can we close now and enjoy ourselves," he groaned.

"Of course, let's go find some real food, I'm hungry."

The hero chuckled and pressed a kiss to your neck, "You know, I hear bunnies like carrots, I happen to have a very rare one if you'd like to try it."

Your brow quirked and you smiled, "Mmm, that does sound good. You know what I really love about carrots," you replied with a hushed voice.

Hitoshi dragged his lips up your neck, his hold tightening as he hummed in response.

"I love how hard they are ... and the sound of them snapping in half when I sink my teeth into them like the rabid animal I am!"

A knee playfully kicked at your behind as Hitoshi nipped the shell of your ear in annoyance. "God, I love it when you talk deranged to me!"

The rest of the festival went along great. After an insane amount of teasing back and forth Hitoshi finally treated you to some food. Once the event ended, Shouto and Deku who had showed up an hour before, offered to keep Eri for the night since you and Hitoshi would be staying behind a bit longer to help clean and close everything up. The next two hours were exhausting, even with the help of every other teacher and faculty member, the process of making UA look completely devoid of any sort of festival felt like it would never end.

Hitoshi had taken off to go help finish taking down a few booths as you went and loaded all your items from home into the jeep. After doing so, you made your way back towards the grounds in search of your lover, body aching and ready to finally head home. It didn't take long to find Hitoshi, you could see his tall body and wild purple hair flowing in the cold wind as he walked your way. 

Smiling you looked to see that he wasn't alone, in fact a woman was walking with him, both of them in the middle of a conversation. Honestly you weren't bothered to see your boyfriend like this, had it not been for the hand that this woman so casually had hanging from his shoulder.

"I didn't know you had moves like that Hitoshi, I commend you," the woman replied with a smile.

Your face subtly cringed and you stopped in your tracks. Hitoshi shrugged, rubbing the side of his neck, "Well, when free ice cream and sweets are involved and your 6-year-old sister and girlfriend demand you dance - you dance."

"Well maybe that earned you brownie points in the bedroom huh," the woman teased, nudging Hitoshi's side with her elbow.

Your eyes narrowed at this, fists clenching at your sides 

Who does this broad thinks she is? 

To think she had the nerve to even casually tease about yours and Hitoshi's relationship, let alone your personal sex life didn't sit right with you. What also didn't sit right was how Hitoshi didn't seem bothered by this woman's response, in fact it got a chuckle out of him. 

As they neared, still unaware of your presence, you were able to look closer at the stranger. She had long dark hair, was a few inches taller than you, somewhat tanned skin and in other words, beautiful. Your anger turned to self-consciousness rather quickly, fists un-clenching and body hunching over.

"Hey sweetness, you okay," Hitoshi's voice asked suddenly next to you.

Looking up and being torn from thought your eyes blinked at him, standing before you, a hand holding your wrist and the other touching your cheek. A warmth came over you as his amethyst eyes searched yours with concern, it made you forget why you were suddenly down in the dumps as you nodded in reply, "Yeah – uh, I'm just super exhausted Toshi."

"Aww, now that's a cute name," said the unfamiliar females voice from behind Hitoshi.

Your eyes quickly shot in her direction, seeing a smile on her stunning features. Had you actually not been so physically and mentally exhausted from the past day of getting ready for the festival and the festival itself, you may have faked a smile or greeting, but it was damn near impossible to find that energy. 

Instead, you said nothing at all, only stared. 

The black-haired lady cleared her throat as Hitoshi moved next to you, placing his hand on the small of your back.

"I'm sorry, we have yet to meet, I'm Claire Amano, I teach English for the 2nd years," she responded and gave her hand.

Your brows rose and you slowly blinked, mustering up the force to grab her hand and shake it. "I'm (Y/N)."

Claire smiled with a nod, tilting her head, "It's nice to finally meet you (Y/N), I've heard so much about you, not only from Hitoshi but his students as well. It's like you're some kind of celebrity among them."

You only hummed in response with a half-ass toothless smile and heavy eyes. Hitoshi chuckled, placing his hand on the side of your head and pulling you closer to kiss your hair, his arms embracing you. 

"Well you aren't very talkative, you really must be running on fumes huh."

"Well, I won't keep you two any longer, I should be going as well. Thanks for the help Hitoshi, I'll see you Monday. Goodnight to you both," Claire cheerfully spoke with a wave and a nod to Hitoshi.

The hero bid her farewell in return and turned the two of you around, walking towards the vehicle. The walk was short but to Hitoshi it felt like it lasted hours, you didn't so much as speak a word or make a sound. Even your own arm didn't wrap around him and your face didn't snuggle into his side. Something was off and he could feel it, he could feel the difference in your mood, the way you walked and looked. 

Once at the jeep, Hitoshi opened your door and helped you hop up and into your seat. He wasn't sure what he was expecting next, but it wasn't that you'd just ignore him and go straight to buckling your belt without so much as a glance in his direction. A purple brow rose and he ran a hand through his hair, removing his faux cat ears while closing your door.

Hitoshi made it to the other side and into his own seat, turned on the vehicle and made sure the heater was turned up and the vents were blowing in your direction. He reached towards the backseat and grabbed a jacket, using it to cover and further warm you up. Your hands curled up into the garment and pulled it closer around your face and body as you slumped over onto the middle console with a deep sigh.

"Thank you."

The male looked in your direction while putting on his own seat-belt, "So you do still talk - in that case, wanna tell me what's up?"

Your head turned and craned to look up at him, your (e/c) eyes squinting and expression holding question, "What?"

"You've barely said a word since you met back up with me and Claire."

Your expression changed at that grouping of words, "me and Claire", just the recap of it made disgust visibly spread across your features. 

Once you realized the contortion in your face, you suddenly changed it and looked back away. You really didn't mean to have such a response, you were just so tired and almost delirious that you honestly had no control of the actions you made, and you really weren't sure if you'd have control over the words you'd speak either. 

Before replying you had to think really hard about those next words, making sure they wouldn't come off in the wrong tone or way, in all honesty you didn't even feel like talking, being too tired and also too annoyed to do so, knowing you'd probably smart off in one way or another.

"I told you Toshi, I'm just really tired, it's nothing."

"You're absolutely positive, there's nothing on your mind you want to talk about, nothing at all?"

"Other than to ask when you're going to start driving? Not really," you replied, agitation and impatience lacing your tone as you curled deeper into the jacket.

Hitoshi narrowed his eyes at you, confused. 

He's seen you tired before and in those times you never acted the way you were now. If anything you were a blabbering mess of incoherent words, snuggling and burrowing up to his side like some needy kitten to its mother, but now you were the opposite, quiet, still burrowing but not into him and more like you were burrowing to get away from him. Not once in all your time together had either of you even remotely acted like you wanted to be away from the other, you always wanted to be closer if anything. 

Sighing, Hitoshi decided not to push it, he knew people needed their space from time to time and he was willing to give you that for now, maybe it really was nothing other than you were just dog tired.

"Okay sweetheart, I'm sorry," he replied before leaning over and placing a kiss to your hair, shockingly you hummed at his affection and nuzzled your cheek against his lips, "We're going home now, take a nap and I'll wake you when we get there."

Just as expected you passed out in no time on the way home. The entire drive, Hitoshi couldn't stop from thinking about why you seemed so different so suddenly. He may have been book smart but he wasn't the best at picking up on people's emotions, even when it came to you. 

So far it had been nothing but sweet and loving moments in your relationship, you never fought with each other or got annoyed, everything was perfect. Hitoshi also wasn't that great with relationships to begin with either, you had to be the first serious girlfriend he had. The hero went on dates and such, hooked up here and there, but not once had he ever settled down like he was with you. So to have a small tiff or bump in the road was entirely new to him and so was how to handle it.

When it come to your attack, Hitoshi didn't bat an eye at helping you, but it also felt like hero work in a way at the same time. He took care of you, patched and healed your wounds, like he would with any other person, except you were someone he loved and deeply cared for, making that period all the more emotional for him. Just thinking back to that night still upset Hitoshi, it was burned into his brain and as much as he willed it away, sometimes it still haunted his dreams. Even if he did make it to save you, it still wasn't early enough for his liking and he couldn't help to think what might've happened had he been just a few more minutes too late.

Finally, the jeep came to a stop. With a sigh Hitoshi put it in park, his hands falling from the steering wheel and his head hanging low as he leaned forward, resting his forehead on the wheel. His own thoughts were exhausting him as well, along with the activities of the past few days. His tired eyes blinked and he turned his head to look at you, still fast asleep on the console. His heart did a flip seeing your bunny ears had fallen into your face. With a smile Hitoshi sat back up and gently removed them to place on the dash. His hand ran through your hair, causing you to hum and stir.

"Mm – Tosh," you mumbled and started to sleepily inch your body onto the console even more, pretty much moving towards him still half-asleep.

"Baby give me a sec and I'll bring you inside to bed," he chuckled.

Even still asleep you were stubborn and continued to crawl over to his side, hands slipping over the middle object and you almost knocking your head on it. He rolled his eyes and took charge, his hands and arms grabbing your tired body and pulling you into his lap, cradling you like a child. Immediately you nuzzled and burrowed into him. He grunted when your hands came up and awkwardly nudged his lips.

"My hands...you dideen warm em," you slurred.

Hitoshi's brows rose and he took your now warm hands into his. "I'm sorry sweetness," he apologized softly and kissed your fingers before performing his usual ritual when you got into the vehicle together, "I didn't mean to forget."

"S'kay Toshi," you sniffled into his chest.

The grip around your hands tightened at the sound and Hitoshi looked down to see you hiding your face, hearing more sniffles and your frame hiccuping.

"Hey - hey, I swear (Y/N) I won't ever forget to warm your hands again, not even when it's fucking summer," the lavenderette groveled, pressing his cheek to your hair and holding you close.

"It's not that Hito, I – I was a brat before ... I didn't mean to sound so sour to you. I just – I really am tired and I was ... jealous."

"Jealous," Hitoshi questioned. Suddenly, everything hit Hitoshi like a train. "Shit, I'm so stupid."

Repeating those words, your boyfriend quickly cupped your tear-stained face and made you look up at him. He bit his own lip at the look you held, you were so upset with yourself all because he couldn't put two and two together. The pads of his thumbs wiped away the flowing tears and he replaced them with kisses.

"No Toshi, I'm stupid. I should've just told you something was bothering me when you asked. I just let my thoughts get the best of me, I was thinking of how pretty she was, how she was touching you and you were joking together, how she used your first name ... fuck that was the worst. I know you'd never do anything Toshi and I'm sorry if all this is making you feel like I'd doubt –"

"Okay, okay, first off, shut your mouth for me," Hitoshi chuckled.

Even through tears and a frown, the corner of your mouth tried to tug up into a smile. Nodding, you took a few deep breaths to calm down and wrapped your hands around Hitoshi's wrists. 

He smiled and pulled your face to his, his lips enveloping yours with a deep and warm kiss. You couldn't help but whimper into the kiss, all your doubts and irrational fears running for the hills. You could feel every ounce of love this man had for you just from how he held and kissed you, the way his mouth melded and fit yours perfectly as if it were carved and constructed with your own in mind. Hitoshi finally peeled his lips from yours, trailing soft pecks to your cheeks, nose, eyelids, brows and forehead.

"There's no need for you to apologize (Y/N), I was totally oblivious and ignorant to how things may have come off to you. Miss Amano is a work colleague and nothing more, I swear. She just started teaching when I did, she moved from the states to teach English and I help her every now and then when it comes to the language barrier. Both being new teachers we sort of just tend to help each other out, but it's absolutely nothing more than just coworkers, I promise. The only reason she even calls me by my first name is because of the culture difference sweetheart, I can tell her to stop that though, no problem."

Your lips pouted and you hung your head low. Of course Hitoshi was helping the lady out, it was just the type of person he was, you knew that first hand.

"If she's just an honest friend Toshi, you could've told me. I may be greedy with you sometimes but I'm not going to stop you from having friends."

"I know that sweetness, I honestly just didn't think about it, which is dumb on my end. It's just once I get home to you, other things like work and coworkers are the last thing on my mind. You and Eri come first no matter what. Even when I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you. I mean, I literally am reminded of you and that little brat of a sister every day because your pictures are all over the walls of my classroom. I can't escape you and I'd never even dream about it. You and Eri are pretty much a topic that is brought up multiple times throughout all my classes and conversations," Hitoshi smiled and cupped your face in his hands putting your foreheads together, "No one is safe!"

You huffed a laugh at this, pleasing Hitoshi and causing him to visibly relax. "I guess you're right about that. I truly am sorry though Hitoshi, about earlier, with my tone."

Hitoshi shook his head and pulled you into a hug, resting his cheek on you. "It's nothing baby, we're going to have misunderstandings and get aggravated with each other from time to time. The important thing is that we communicate, talk me to alright? Even if you're so fucking mad, talk to me, let me know how you feel. Don't hide or push away, remember you promised to always keep those pretty eyes on me?"

You cracked a small smile and peeled from Hitoshi's hold to look at him. "I'm sorry Hitoshi," you replied sheepishly, placing a hand to his face. He smiled and grabbed it, turning to place a kiss to the inside of your palm like always. "Promise, you'll keep your own pretty eyes on me as well?"

Hitoshi smirked, shaking his head as he leaned in to kiss you. His lips took your own in a possessive way that was still soft. His hand came up and cupped your cheek when you pulled away, almost breathless, foreheads resting against each other.

"I can't think of a time when they weren't ever on you sweetheart. Everything I have is yours and yours alone, eyes and all."

Smiling, you placed another short and sweet kiss to Hitoshi's lips, brushing the tips of your cold nose with his after. "I love you Hitoshi, eyes and all."

The two of you stayed in the warm jeep for a few more minutes, holding the other close and not wanting to move really but eventually you both made it inside and didn't stop until reaching the bedroom. After taking a long and warm shower together you moved at a snail's pace to dry off and pull on some panties and one of Hitoshi's shirts before dramatically crawling your way into the bed like it was Mount Everest. He would watch and chuckle at our delirious state, you were back to normal, blabbering nonsense, giggling here and there at some joke you made. You even got on all fours and circled around into a nest like a cat.

Hitoshi went to lock everything up then returned, turning off the bedroom light and crawling into bed himself. He had to literally unfold you from your 'cat' like sleeping position, straightening your body out like a normal person only to have you cling to his side and made it damn near impossible to move and get comfortable himself. Once the room was dark the hero shielded you under the blankets as you nuzzled into his skin. His own arms wrapped tight around you, one of his hands playing with your hair as he rubbed your back with the other, softly lulling you to sleep first. Your breathing started to slow and the weight of you in the bed became heavier, high pitched sighs leaving with each breath you exhaled. Once your foot kicked Hitoshi knew you were out for the count.

He kissed your forehead and eyelids softly before pressing his cheek to your hair and humming as well. 

"Crazy little halfling, worrying for nothing. I'm so in love with you, it's unreal," he quietly breathed into your (h/c) tresses before drifting off to sleep as well as a soft kiss was being placed on his skin with a smile.

#hitoshi shinsou #hitoshi shinsou x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader #fluff #fanfiction #bnha fanfic #mha fanfic #shinso hitoshi #aizawa shouta #eri

[tenscupcake]

the null hypothesis (2/?)

fitzsimmons. teen. ~3.7k this chap. summary: roughly one out of every six people can’t feel touch; that is, until their soulmate touches them. fitz and jemma are two indignant contributors to that statistic, content to devote their lives to science rather than searching for their supposed ‘other half.’ both too clever for high school, they head off to university at sixteen, completely unaware their fates are about to become intertwined. but in a world where soulmates don’t always match, it’s not always easy to confess to a stranger. a soulmate au with a twist. this chapter on ao3 | back to chapter 1 on ao3

Fitz’s first day at university doesn’t bode well for the semester. Each class he attends on Monday – general chemistry I, economics, and art history – is so introductory-level and simple. Aside from the gaps in his schedule and the fact that attendance isn’t recorded, it feels rather like high school (and three years of that place was enough to drive him half mad).

General chemistry he can’t believe he has to take. He’s more than proficient in the concepts that will be taught. AP exams and community college courses bailed him out of a laundry list of the university’s general education requirements, but this is an unfortunate exception. The university just decided to change its curriculum the year after he’d taken it at his local community college and, subsequently, they refused to accept his transfer credits for that particular course.  

He’s planning to skip the lectures and just show up for labs and exams, until he finds out there will be quizzes for participation points at the beginning of each period starting next week. What a bunch of rubbish. He hopes he can at least spend most of that lecture time on his laptop, modelling equations and running simulations for the drone he’s working on.

The rest of the week, at least, bodes a bit better. He actually finds himself paying attention and taking a bit of notes in a few courses. Biochemistry is one: relatively speaking, it’s always been an area he’s weaker in. But it’s not the most riveting subject matter. He’s always found biology far too unpredictable for his taste. His two engineering courses, though, he’s properly excited about. Mechatronics and Numerical Analysis. He’s hoping to get some additional resources from the professors of those two, and look into joining one of their laboratories.

If half his classes weren’t pathetically simple and he didn’t pick up new subjects so easily, he might be a bit overwhelmed after the first week. In his situation, a typical student would probably be quite overwhelmed. His plan to graduate in three years has his schedule jam-packed: on average, he’ll be taking twenty-two units per semester. Normally, they don’t even allow such a thing, but they’ve made an exception for Fitz.

But Fitz is no typical student, so it’s far from overwhelming. Underwhelming, if anything. He’s a bit worried his longstanding boredom from high school may continue here as well.

Part of it is that none of his labs meet the first week. He has to complete an embarrassingly intuitive laboratory safety training course online, but other than that, he gets those periods off. He reckons he’ll be less bored when his schedule fills out with an extra twelve hours a week of lab work. Hands-on investigation is inherently less boring than sitting in class.

But for this week, in the three hour blocks he’ll normally be in various labs throughout campus, he stays in his room instead, continuing to chip away at his drone prototype one piece of hardware and one line of code at a time.

And that’s exactly what he’s doing after lunch the following Tuesday. Not yet in the habit of trekking to lab, he loses track of time. By the time he glances at his phone, he finds it’s 2:00 on the dot.

He’s already late for his first lab of the week.

When he crashes through the door of the third-floor teaching laboratory in the Chem building, the room is completely full. The students are already outfitted in their gloves and coats, goggles at the ready, and only one voice sounds through the room: that of their lab’s TA. He can’t see whoever the bloke is through all the shelves and ventilation shafts above the benches, but whoever he is has stopped his monologue in the wake of Fitz’s entrance.

Oops.

Everyone in the aisle he’s entered into is already paired off. Trying to catch his breath as quietly as possible, he makes his way to the front so he can get a better view of the rest of the lab.

As soon as he’s within eyesight of the TA, he’s on the receiving end of a lecture.

“I just finished explaining to the rest of the class: being more than five minutes late to a lab means you can’t participate in that lab, and you’ll have to take a zero.” Fitz’s stomach drops. Did he just sprint all the way here for nothing? “You’re all right for today. But starting next week, be on time or don’t come at all.”

“Yes, sir,” he responds dully. As soon as he turns his head, he rolls his eyes.

A quick glance around makes it seem as though everyone in the room does already have a partner.

Well, that’s fine. He’d rather work alone anyway. He’ll probably get it done before anyone else even without a protocol, and any one of these sods would likely just be a constant irritation.

“Anyone missing a partner?” the TA calls out. Fitz whips his head back in his direction, staring at him in horror. This he did not expect.

He reluctantly scans around the room, hoping no one will respond.

Much to his dismay, there’s a girl sitting by herself to his far right, the last bench against the wall. Her hand is raised tentatively, and when Fitz meets her eyes, she narrows hers, like she’s upset at the prospect of being paired with him. She looks younger than most of the others, almost like she could be his age. But looks can be deceiving, he’s learned.

Taking a deep breath, Fitz hustles over to her station. The sooner he’s out of the spotlight, the better.

“Excellent,” the bloke’s voice sounds behind him. “The two young geniuses get to work together. This’ll be interesting.”

Fitz glances back at him, scowling in confusion. ‘Two young geniuses?’ Just what he needs. A smart arse. It doesn’t matter how clever she thinks she is; she’s still going to slow him down.

He slumps into the stool next to hers, resigned to his fate. The mystery girl is quiet while the TA finishes telling them what they’re going to do today. It’s painfully simple: dissolve a pre-1982 penny in nitric acid. Precipitate the copper with sodium hydroxide. Form a copper oxide by heating the solution. Add sulphuric acid to form copper sulphate. Add zinc to re-form copper metal precipitate.

Wow. Magic.

He hastily puts on his coat and gloves on while the bloke is rambling about safety so as not to waste any more time. Then he pulls out his notebook and starts scribbling out the date and experiment title as neatly as he can. He knows these lab reports will be graded partially on legibility. He almost manages to get the whole protocol down before the TA finishes his spiel.

He’s just finishing the last two steps when the bloke announces they’re free to start.

“I’m Jemma,” his unwitting partner says, turning to him without hesitation. “Simmons,” she adds.

He reluctantly pulls his attention from his notebook and looks up at her.

At first glance, when she was half-scowling at him, he had found her a bit intimidating, but now that he’s up close and getting a better look, she’s actually rather nonthreatening. A soft smile on her lips and bright brown eyes that actually seem excited for this drivel. Actually, she’s a bit... nice to look at. Which, he realizes, must be bad news. People with her level of attractiveness generally have proportionately low intelligence. 

“Leo,” he replies. His attempt at a smile falling flat, he turns back to his notebook as quickly as he can to continue writing. “Fitz,” he adds in the same manner that she did.

He should at least give her a chance, really. Maybe she’ll prove him wrong.

What did he want a fresh start for, if he wasn’t going to use it to find some new mates?

“Right then, Leo, I’ll get the reagents. You can get the rest of the supplies.”

Oh. She’s not American. For some reason it took him several words to pick up on it, but she’s decidedly English.

His heart suddenly softens to her even more. He knows how wretched it is to start over in a new country. He briefly wonders when she moved to the States. Unable to help himself, he glances back up at her, but before he can even agree to her terms, she’s walking away.

Wait. Did she just delegate a task to him? Does she think this is how it’s going to work, then? His short-lived empathy for her starts to dissolve.

Still, to save them both time, he gets the glassware and materials they’ll need anyway, and is able to get it all situated in their fume hood before she returns with the reagents.

“Found everything all right, then?” she asks when she returns with what he hopes are the appropriate amounts of their acids and bases.

As if it’d be hard for him to locate a couple of beakers in a chemistry lab?

“Hard to misplace a hot plate,” he quips, trying not to let his irritation show too much.

Not only did Jemma acquire the correct concentrations and volumes of the necessary reagents, she is surprisingly clever. She proceeds to the first step of the experiment without being prompted, narrating aloud everything she does as she does it (which, strangely, he finds a bit endearing).

Watching and listening her do everything as accurately as he would have done, Fitz readies the second step to save them time. The pleasant surprise of her competence lifts his mood considerably. Perhaps she is a good candidate for a friend.

“Not from around here, I’m guessing?” she asks as she places their penny in a beaker.

“Glasgow,” he says, adding the appropriate reagent to it.

“Sheffield,” she counters. And after a moment, she adds: “What’s your opinion of America so far?”

He takes a moment of thought for that one, thinking back to high school and the things he regularly sees on TV shows and the news.

“Lives up to the stereotypes.”

His answer makes her chuckle, and he rather likes it, though he’s not sure why. He supposes it’s rare that someone ever holds a conversation with him long enough for him to manage a joke of any kind; even rarer for the other person to laugh at it. Most people don’t seem to get his sense of humour.

Or maybe it’s just the sound of her laugh.

There’s a few minutes of silence as they continue on to the next step, and curiosity starts to gnaw at him. Jemma is the first person he’s met on this campus so far that he hasn’t immediately wanted to terminate contact with. Contrary to his expectations, the experiment is not going terribly at all. Jemma is knowledgeable about every aspect of it. She works with a precision that has him convinced she’s worked in as many labs as he has prior to arriving here. Neither of them has to refer to the protocol, both having memorized it in the time they spent writing it down. That saves more time than anything, he thinks, judging by the way everyone else keeps poring over their lab manuals.

As soon as they have another few moments of down time while a reaction bubbles to completion, he musters the courage to prod a little more.

“When did you move here?” he asks.

“About three years ago, now.”

“Hmm. Me too.”

“Though we didn’t move here, specifically to New Jersey, I mean. My parents are in Los Angeles.”

“Ah,” Fitz nods. “Yeah, my p” – he catches himself – “my mum, she’s in New York.”

“How old are you?” she asks, looking at him like she’s suspicious of his answer.

“Sixteen,” he admits.

“Seriously?” she asks, grinning like she’s pleasantly surprised by his answer.

“Seriously.” He nods, and can’t help smiling back a bit.

“I am too,” she volunteers. “Couldn’t stand another day of high school,” she adds, turning back to their foaming beaker.

This time, it’s his turn to chuckle.

It’s odd, how effortless this conversation is. He supposes he’s just no longer accustomed to being around other Brits anymore. Constantly bombarded with a different vernacular, always feels like the odd one out in conversations. References and idioms fly over his head; new-fangled slang words stump him out of some conversations completely. The World loves to rib Londoners for Cockney slang, but some of the things young Americans say colloquially are just as confusing and nonsensical.

That must be all it is.

“What’s your major?” she asks after the fourth step.

“Engineering.”

“Biochem,” she counters, without prompting.         

And that’s when his hopes for this relationship sink just a little. Biology is so not his field. Their similarities likely begin and end with being British and taking Gen-Chem. What good would a friendship do them? After their GEs are done, they'll likely have no other classes together, no curriculum in common.

To add to that, Jemma soon all but bombards him with trivial questions that sink his hopes even more.

“Do you know when Dr White’s office hours are? Have you done the textbook readings yet? Have you been to the library?”

Clearly, their priorities are not the same.

“The truth is,” he tries to shut down the string of inquiries. “I spend most of my free time working on projects of my own.”

“Really? Like what?” she asks. She seems a bit frustrated with him. Well, ditto.

Without thinking, he tells her about the drone project. Probably offering a bit too many details. Once he gets started talking about it, it’s hard to stop. There’s so rarely anyone willing to listen. He seems to lose her a bit when he delves into the finer details, but she at least pretends he hasn’t.

“Sounds fascinating,” she offers. “And you do that all on your own?”

“For the most part, yeah.”

If only to be polite, he asks what sorts of things she gets up to in her field.

She goes into detail about the pharmaceutical internship she did the summer before she arrived here, and he can’t help but be impressed. She’s not just clever; she must be brilliant. What sort of sixteen-year-old could score an internship at a pharmaceutical company?

But as intrigued as he is by her kindness and intelligence, it isn’t long before he’s reminded of their inherent incompatibility.

Their TA approaches, peering between them to get a look at their settling reaction.

“Where are you two at?” he asks.

“We’re just about to dry the sample –” Fitz begins.

“We’ve just finished precipitating the copper metal –” Jemma says at the same time.

They both shoot each other surprised frowns, but neither of them cuts their explanation short.

The TA walks away laughing at the incident, but Fitz doesn’t find it amusing.

The very next moment, they disagree how to properly collect the copper solids for weighing; mere minutes later, on how to most efficiently dispose of the corrosives. Neither of them ever backs down, and they end up having to flip a couple of (undissolved) coins to decide whose ideas to use.

He’s thankful the simplicity of this particular experiment left few opportunities for such disagreements. But it seems clear that them working together on more complicated projects outside the confines of this introductory laboratory would be a recipe for disaster.

By the time they’re collecting their copper pellets into a tared dish and getting ready to bring it to the scale, they’ve both stopped attempts at chatter. They take down the mass in their notebooks and finish recording some observations, hardly glancing at each other. Seems she’s starting to tire of being in such close quarters with him.

But when they’ve finally cleaned the last of their station, she speaks up one last time.

“I hope you don’t make a habit of being late. It’s not only your grade that’s dependent on your punctuality.”

His last lingering hope squelches out in an instant. Well, there goes that, then.

Blood boiling, he tries not to let it show she’s gotten under his skin.

“Couldn’t find the building, that’s all,” he lies, without making any assurances he’ll be on time in the future. Or even show up. He could probably take a zero on two or three labs and still pass the course. Getting an ‘A’ in everything is hardly necessary. He’ll save his best work for his engineering courses. With or without a stellar GPA, he knows he’ll get into a graduate program. Extracurricular projects alone. Not to mention the campus research he’s planning on pursuing.

Perhaps next week he won’t show at all. That’ll show her. Trying to boss him around like that.

He takes off his protective gear and shoves his things into his bag. Checking the clock up on the far wall, he sees they’ve finished with more than an hour to spare. The other students have barely begun to add their sodium hydroxide.

Well, at least she’s efficient. Intelligent, too, he supposes. More so than anyone else in the room. Probably even the undergraduate population as a whole, if he’s honest with himself. But he can’t shake the feeling this friendship simply won’t work.

The TA comes by before they can leave. Fitz still doesn’t know the bloke’s name.

“Looks like you guys make quite the team. I’ll have to come up with some extra experimentation for you two next week, since this was clearly too easy for you.”

Fitz can’t help but sigh as the TA walks away. Perhaps they should’ve dragged it out a bit more.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Fitz.” Jemma says before either of them can leave.

Taken aback by her casual use of his last name, it takes him a moment to respond.

“Yeah,” he says, slinging his backpack on. “You too.”

Before he can duck out the door, she holds out her hand.

“See you next week?” she says, gently smiling at him like she did when she introduced herself.

He’s probably being a prat. She’s been perfectly nice since he sat down next to her. She’s just… studious. Even if they won’t be best friends, he shouldn’t go mucking up their relationship. She is an excellent lab partner, the best he could’ve hoped for. A knack for chemistry, efficient, friendly. And he should really give her some more credit, going out on a limb to make amends. Doing his best to shrug off his pessimistic first impression, he reaches for her outstretched hand.

But the moment his hand makes contact with hers, the whole bloody world stops turning. The commotion of chatter, stools screeching against the floor, and glassware clicking fades into nothing as he stares down at their joined hands, dumbfounded. His vision tunnels until it’s is all he can see; his very existence becomes tethered to her hand. He should be gasping, or screaming, but his lungs aren’t working. They’re frozen along with all the muscles in his body, including his hand.

He’s neither squeezing nor shaking her hand, but nor is he pulling away, he’s just awkwardly holding it in mid-air.

Because he can feel it.

He. Can. Feel. It.

Her smaller, smoother hand wrapped around his, soft skin and the gentle contours of joints, warm and clammy from wearing gloves for two hours. Instantly, effortlessly activating a million dysfunctional nerve endings everywhere her skin touches. A fuzzy warmth kindles in his palm, sending phantom tingles that shouldn’t be possible halfway up his arm.

In an instant, he’s forgotten about their disagreements, his shallow irritation with her study habits and bossiness. Suddenly, all that matters is how perfectly this hand fits inside his. The fact that it’s attached to a brilliant and beautiful girl that he’s meant to spend the rest of his life with.

How much time has passed? A second? A minute?

He snaps his gaze back up to her face, trying to hold himself together.

Don’t panic, he tells himself. Stick to logic and observation. Gauge her reaction.

But all his overstimulated brain can manage to gather from her is an evident lack of reaction. She doesn’t gasp, or shout, or jump up and down, like he’s seen others do when this happens.

Ward’s taunt flashes in the front of his mind again, fresh as if he just said it.

You must be one of the mistakes.

He can’t let on what’s just happened, then. He can’t possibly tell her. A million scenarios race through his head of how that could go, the most prominent of which goes something like: oh, you’re one of those? And you think I’m yours??? Scoffing. Piteous laughter. Her running up to the TA asking to switch lab partners because hers is too weird.

Fearing the worst, instinct kicks in and he yanks his hand away as though he’s been shocked (something he actually knows intimately, working with electronics as often as he does).

She doesn’t look creeped out, at least, that he held or stared at her hand for so long. She looks mildly surprised, confused perhaps, as she lets her hand fall to her side again, but that’s all. As silent as he is, she just stares at him. It takes him far too long to realize she’s probably just waiting for him to say something in response to what she asked him.

Oh, bloody hell! He still hasn’t said anything.

What did she ask him?

His name? No. They did that already.

See you next week?

Right.

“Yeah,” he chokes out, his throat uncomfortably dry. “Yes,” he adds, unnecessarily.

Before he can say or do anything else stupid or revealing, he turns around and speeds for the door – as fast as he can without properly running, at any rate –  and doesn’t look back. Only once he throws open the door and is clear of the frame does he break into a run. By the time he realizes the door had slammed into the door stop, he’s already halfway down the hallway.

#fsfic #fstag #fitzsimmons #excited to be posting this update too #2 fics updated in one weekend thats some kind of record for me #though it has involved me sitting in my recliner a large portion of the day #but i don't want to succumb to this cold or whatever so i'm letting myself off the hook #written by yours truly

[velannadisapproves]

Zev/Warden Week #4

Prompt: Thursday, August 3rd - AU Day

Art school AU! I rarely write AUs, but I had a lot of fun with this! Warnings: foul-mouthed, horny college kids (only mentioned dirty thoughts, nothing graphic), and though the main intended pairing is Zev/Warden, you could argue that this is implied Zevran/Alistair(/Warden) as well or at least attraction between the two, depending on how you want to read it.

-

"Alright, class, I'd like to introduce our model for the day," Professor Duncan announced as he entered the room a couple minutes late with a young man in a robe in tow.

"Model?" Alistair asked quietly, leaning away from his easel to get a good look at the stranger following their instructor.

"Yeah," Lalia replied, matching his volume and not so much as glancing up from her supplies as she finished preparing for the lesson. "Don't you ever check the syllabus? We've got a life model today."

"Does that mean-" Alistair began only to be cut off.

"This is Zevran," Duncan continued, waving a hand to present the stranger. "Since I know this is a first for several of you, I'm going to quickly go over some ground rules before setting you all loose. Zevran is here as a professional, and you will all treat him as such. Don't distract him with chit chat, don't ask him personal questions or get in his space, and I hope I shouldn't have to say no touching or photography. In short, don't be gross. Any questions?"

The classroom was silent.

"Good. We'll be going over time today; if you have places you need to be, it won't count against you, of course, but please leave quietly. We're going to spend the first fifteen minutes on a warm up pose, then cycle through three five minute poses for quick sketches, and then we'll take a short break before finishing up with a longer twenty-five minute pose." The professor looked over his students one final time before stepping away to give Zevran his full stage. "Whenever you're ready, Zevran."

Lalia looked up from her tools right as the robe hit the floor. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she found her gaze glued to him. It wasn't the young man's nakedness that gave her pause. She's known she'd be drawing a nude model; she just hadn't anticipated him being so. incredibly. attractive.  

Alistair's small, strangled noise beside her was enough to pull her attention away. 'Thank the Maker,' she thought. 'I can't believe I was gonna gawk at this dude like a fucking creep. Come on, Lal, get it together.' She turned to look to her left at Alistair and almost laughed; he was a red brighter than any paint she'd ever seen, fumbling with his pencils and pointedly avoiding looking beyond the sketchbook directly in front of him. "What's wrong, Ali?" she teased in a whisper.

"N-Nothing, I just, I wasn't, I didn't," he stuttered. He finally picked the pencil he wanted and swallowed hard. "I should have read the syllabus," he concluded, forcing his eyes to make the most furtive glance back up to the model so he could start his drawing.

She managed to condense her mirth into a single snort before turning her eyes back to the front. The model - 'Zevran's a pretty name, wonder where it's from' - had assumed a simple standing pose, one hand in his hair at his temple and the other behind his back, balancing with one foot in front of the other. Lalia scrutinized his facial features, trying to ignore the unsolicited input from her libido, and set to work.

After the first few minutes, she pulled herself back to compare her progress to the real thing and found her efforts to be lacking. Frustrated, she erased a few lines to attempt them again only to be equally disappointed. 'I can't quite capture...something about him.' Her mouth scrunched to the side as she examined her drawing, trying to pinpoint what she was getting wrong. When no solution jumped out at her from the graphite, she looked up at him again.

Her eyes roamed across his form, studying him intensely, trying to find something to help her move past her block. Sun-kissed skin and blonde hair, long lashes and full lips, even his tattoos seemed to be positioned with the exclusive purpose of accentuating his lean muscles and high cheek bones. She lingered, staring at him for a solid minute and a half before she mentally lamented, 'Shit. I just can't draw someone that hot.'

Zevran's eyes suddenly flicked to meet her gaze, and Lalia felt the blood rush to her cheeks. The corners of his mouth quirked upward almost imperceptibly, and he gave her a wink so fast she thought she might have imagined it.

"Alright," Duncan called out so abruptly that Alistair dropped his pencil and Lalia nearly fell from her stool. "That's it for the warm up. Next, the series of short poses."

Zevran shifted so that he was on the ball of one foot, extending the other leg to the side with his toes pointed and positioning his arms before his body as a dancer might. As Lalia sketched, she thought she caught him looking her way. 'Yeah right, I wish.'

After five minutes, Duncan called for Zevran to switch again. This time the model turned his back to the class and linked his hands behind his head. His face was in profile over one shoulder, and this time there was no mistaking it for her imagination when he looked right at Lalia and cracked a smile. He then glanced to her left and clearly struggled to stifle a laugh.

Lalia took a peek at Alistair and saw that her friend's hand was trembling ever so slightly, and was that sweat on his forehead? She looked away before she burst into giggles and did her best to focus on actually making marks on her own paper.

Another five minutes passed. Zevran turned back around, gave both Lalia and Alistair a not-so-subtle look, and then slowly descended into a full split. He stretched his torso down over the leg in front of him, holding his foot with visible ease. His mouth was hidden behind his arm, but Lalia could tell from his eyes that he was grinning. The combination of flexibility and flirtatious confidence had Lalia swallowing along with Alistair this time, and they both scribbled furiously until Duncan announced a five minute break.

Alistair and Lalia both put their pencils down as nonchalantly as they could and made their way out of the room, talking a little too loudly about needing to stretch and get a drink and avoiding looking at Zevran pulling his robe back on as they exited. As soon as the door closed behind them and it became clear no other students were going to follow them, they rounded on each other at the same time.

"What the fuck, dude!" Lalia was barely able to keep her voice at stage-whisper level as she gestured back toward the classroom.

"I know! I KNOW!" Alistair's voice nearly cracked.

"I mean, the splits!?"

"Look, I know you're super into it, but it seems kind of inappropriate, " he hissed, his cheeks burning.

At that moment, Duncan stepped out of the room, coffee mug in hand. Upon seeing his students' body language, he stopped short. "Is everything okay out here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "You two having a tiff?"

"No!" they both scoffed in unison.

"Okaayyy then. I'm going to grab some coffee real quick before we get started on the final half. If you two are cool, would you mind stepping back inside and keeping an eye on things until I get back?"

"Sure thing, Professor, no problem whatsoever," Alistair responded with a nervous laugh that clearly failed to convince their instructor. Thankfully, rather than prying, the older man merely looked them over once more before continuing toward the nearest break room.

Lalia rolled her eyes. "You're about as suave as a mabari, you know that?"

"You obviously haven't spent much time with one. They can be very persuasive."

The two slipped back into the classroom as unobtrusively as possible. A couple of their classmates had engaged the model in conversation, all of them perched on stools and looking relaxed, allowing Alistair and Lalia to scurry back to their easels and pretend to prep for the second half of the class. They were saved from awkwardly shuffling their respective supplies around for a third time when Duncan reentered the room and called for the final pose.

Zevran sat on the floor, right leg bent with his foot flat and the other leg folded inward resting on the ground. He placed his right elbow on his raised knee, lazily draped his left arm across his other leg, and rested his temple on the curled knuckles of his right hand. Finally, he inclined his chin to expose his neck. He looked directly at Lalia once more, eyes narrowed and lips smirking, but this time he maintained eye contact.

Lalia tried to swallow again, but her throat was suddenly dry. Was he making fun of her? Was this something ridiculously attractive people did for kicks? Pose for drawing classes and mock weak-willed young artists who just wanted to get some- 'Andraste's chapped ass, you can think about his dick all you want as long as you're fucking drawing!'

The next few minutes were a unique sort of agony, but once Lalia finally got into a rhythm, she found herself working quickly. No longer distracting herself with frantically chasing any lewd thoughts from her mind, she let herself appreciate a man who clearly loved being appreciated. Toward the end of the class, she realized that it had been much easier to capture his likeness this time. She compared her work with the personification of sex in front of her and decided she...actually didn't hate it, which was pretty much the closest to feeling pride in her artwork that she got.

She was just finishing up the last of his tattoos when Duncan called time. "Alright, everyone, let's thank our model," he prompted, nodding in satisfaction at the chorus of thanks that followed. "That's it for today. Have a great weekend, finish your assignments that are due Monday, make good choices." With that, he began packing up just as hastily as everyone else and was the first out of the room.

Alistair leaned over to look at her sketchbook. "Hey, Lali, that's really good," he said, honest admiration in his tone.

Lalia gave his work a look as well. "Hey, Ali, no offense, but did you give up halfway through?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Alistair muttered, "We made eye contact once, and I couldn't risk it again."

"Wanna know my secret?" Lalia murmured softly. "I gave in and let the sexy thoughts guide my hand." She waggled her fingers in front of his face.

"An excellent way of life," an unfamiliar voice commented beside them, and they both jumped. Zevran had somehow gotten entirely too close without either of them noticing. He'd slipped back into his robe but hadn't bothered to secure it closed, and he gave them a broad smile as their eyes trailed downward only to snap immediately back up to his face. "May I see?"

The two blushing artists shuffled back a step to give him room. Zevran hummed his approval of Lalia's efforts. "Yes, all of those long looks clearly paid off," he teased. Without waiting for a reply, he turned to Alistair's. "You, on the other hand, should listen to your friend. If you're in need of more sexy thoughts material, perhaps we could arrange a private session?"

Alistair stammered incoherently and looked like he wanted very badly to melt into the floor.

"Or not," Zevran shrugged. He turned back to Lalia with that disarming smile at full force. "May I see your pencil? There is one little detail I'd like to add, if you don't mind."

Lalia handed over the requested tool, and, when Zevran turned his back to her to scribble something on her paper, shot Alistair a confused look which mirrored his own. She whipped her gaze back to Zevran as he turned around and returned her pencil.

"It's hard to get a pretty artist's name when she doesn't sign her work," the model observed smoothly.

The artist in question somehow managed to compose her features into a flirty expression that rivaled the model's. "I'm Lalia," she replied. "It was a pleasure working with you today."

Zevran smiled. "Here's hoping I can provide more pleasure soon." He winked at her, gave Alistair one last smile, and then turned to leave, adjusting his robe as he walked away.

Once the door had closed behind him, Lalia exhaled sharply.

"Oooh, Zevran, it was a pleasure working with you," Alistair mocked in a falsetto.

"Oooh, Zevran, I can't answer you because I'm too busy hiding my boner," Lalia retorted, her voice a childish whine.

"Hey!"

Lalia suddenly remembered Zevran's request and leaned over to examine her sketchbook. She looked her drawing over twice but couldn't find anything added or altered. Then she noticed some markings in the lower corner and looked closer. It was a phone number and a note inside a little heart.

Call me! -Zev

Outside the heart, the message was continued in parenthesis.

(And feel free to pass on my number if your friend changes his mind.)

Lalia couldn't help the grin that split her face. She pointed it out to Alistair, but she was already too busy trying to decide how soon would be too soon to call to try to understand her friend's exasperated sputtering.

#zevwarden week #zevran arainai #dragon age #dragon age origins #zevran x warden #alistair theirin

[such-a-common-girl]

Professor Winchester (Dean Winchester x Reader AU) Chap. 8

Professor Winchester Masterlist

Word Count: 2,270

Professor!Dean Winchester x Reader AU

Warnings: Language, mentions of drug use, angst, the tiniest amount of fluff 

*gif not mine, found off google*

Your mind begins to race as you take in the scene in front of you, panic overcoming your mind. Mr. Shurley is still standing there, hand in hand with who you presume to be his boyfriend or husband, a confused (and shocked) expression on his face.

“Dean Winchester?” Mr. Shurley says slowly. “I thought I recognized your car! You’re the last person I expected to see here tonight. How are you doing?”

Dean looks over at you, panic obvious in his eyes. You shake your head at him as if to say that you have no ideas. This is it- you’re going to get kicked out of university because even when you’re cities away from people who know the two of you, fate has a twisted sense of humor.

“I, uh, yeah. Me neither.” Dean stutters.

“How’s Sam doing? Haven’t talked to him in a while.” Mr. Shurley starts up a casual conversation, and your heart is racing out of your chest, wondering when he’s going to say something about you and Dean being there together. He’s not even acknowledged you, yet.

“He’s, uh, he’s great. Yeah. Him and Jessica are great, his job is going great… Everything is great.” Dean forces a smile. “I’ve actually really got to go, though, so I’ll see you at work on Monday.”

“First, introduce me! Last time I knew, you were still quite the player. Didn’t even take girls on dates. So, who’s this here? Must be pretty special if she’s got you wrapped around her finger like this.” Mr. Shurley directs his attention to you, a smile on his face. Confusion begins to fill your mind- what the fuck?

“She’s um,” Dean pauses, looking confused as well.

“I’m a friend of Sam’s.” You smile at Mr. Shurley, reaching out to shake his hand. “Sam introduced me a few months ago and ever since then, we’ve been together. I’ve heard a lot about you, actually! You and Sam are pretty good friends, right?”

You never knew you had the ability to come up with a lie on the spot like this, and it’s a huge relief. Any other day, you’d probably be offended that the dean of your university didn’t recognize you, but right now you’ve never been more grateful. You can see Dean’s face visibly soften, him breathing a sigh of relief as Mr. Shurley apparently believes your lie.

“Yeah I am.” Mr. Shurley smiles at you. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I’m damn starving. I’ll see you on Monday, Dean.”

“See you.” Dean nods. As soon as Chuck and his boyfriend (husband? You didn’t see a ring) walk away, the both of you basically dart to the impala, taking a deep breath once you’re inside.

You don’t say one word as the both of you sit there in silence. Dean doesn’t make any attempt to start the car, only sitting there staring at the wheel and in seemingly deep thought. Your own mind races as well- that could’ve been it for you. That moment right there, if Mr. Shurley had recognized you, would’ve screwed up your entire future. You would’ve been kicked out of university (also getting Dean fired, which you would feel terrible about), and your entire teaching career would go out the drain. No decent university would accept you after they find out why you were kicked out last time, leading to no quality education, leading to most likely working a job you don’t enjoy.

Your entire future was risked tonight just because you acted on your feelings about your teacher, and the only reason it was spared is because Mr. Shurley apparently has a terrible memory.

“You alright?” Dean is the first to break the silence. “That was… That was really close, fuck.”

“Do you realize how bad that could have been?” You say quietly. “You could’ve lost your job. I could’ve… Dean, he’s going to find out who I am at some point. You know that, right? That lie that I came up with isn’t going to last long. He’s bound to see me on campus at some point, or god forbid, recognize my name. I’m on the dean’s list every year.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean responds, taking a gulp. “We can figure it out, we can make it work, we only have to keep this up for one more year, we just need to-“

“Dean…” You trail off.

“Y/N,” His voices come out hushed. “We can figure it out.”

“No, Dean, we can’t.” You say way harsher than you had intended. “Shit like this is bound to happen all the time. We thought we were being safe this time, we’re not even technically in Kansas right now, and we ran into your damn boss! I thought we- I thought I could handle the risks, I thought we could make this work out and keep this a secret, but obviously I was wrong. This is too much, Dean. If Mr. Shurley…”

“No, no, babe,” Dean grabs your hand, trying to hold your hand. “That’s not going to happen. Trust me, it’s not going to happen. No one’s going to find out. We’re going to be fine, trust me, Chuck probably won’t even remember tonight anyways. Guy was high as a kite.”

“Dean, I’m scared… What if he does remember?” Your voice cracks.

Dean stays silent for a few minutes. He sighs as he hangs his head low, using his left hand to rub his temple. You know he knows the risks of this, too, and tonight only heightened it. You’re scared, no, you’re terrified. And you can tell by the look on Dean’s face that he is, too.

“Take me home.” A tear escapes from your eye. “I can’t do this, Dean. I can’t, I’m sorry. This… Us. It’s never going to work out. You’re my fucking teacher.”

“Y/N…” He says softly.

“Take. Me. Home.” You pull your hands away from his, looking out the passenger side window to avoid looking at him in the face. You don’t want to do this- you really, really don’t. You want nothing more than to keep living this happy, secret relationship you have going on with him. But after tonight, after running into Mr. Shurley, after the realization of what this “secret” can do to you if anyone finds out… You can’t do it. You can’t- you refuse- to ruin your life because of your attraction to your professor.

‘It’s so much more than an attraction and you know it, Y/N. You’re falling for him.’ You think to yourself. You shake your head, pushing away those thoughts.

“Okay.” Dean clenches his jaw, letting out a deep breath from his nose. His grip on the steering wheel tightens as he starts the impala, pulling out of the parking lot.

This time, the drive seems to drag on forever. There is no flirtatious banter, no casual conversation, no nothing. Just pure, uncomfortable, deafening silence. By the time you get back to Lawrence, you’re more than ready to get out of the car and let out the rest of the tears that are threatening to spill over.

He slams his car door shut once you arrive back at his house, a mixture of anger and sadness in his face. He waits for you to get out of the car before locking it and then stomping up to his front door, fumbling with the keys to let himself inside. You, too, search for your car keys so you can just leave. That’s all you want, to leave. You don’t want to make this any harder than it already is. You’re both already hurting enough.

“Y/N,” You can hear Dean say softly just as you’re about to open your car door. You freeze as you can feel his hand touch your shoulder, a tear falling down your cheek.

“Dean, we-“

You’re cut off by him turning you around and placing his lips on yours, kissing you gently. You don’t pull away; instead, you kiss him back. Your tears leak down onto your lips, and you relish in this moment, knowing it might very well be your last. This isn’t a normal kind of kiss- this is a goodbye kiss. The most bittersweet of them all.

His hands cup your cheek as he pulls away from you, an unreadable expression in his eyes. He smiles at you weakly before planting a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“I’ll see you in class on Tuesday,” He whispers before walking away from you. You take a deep breath in an attempt to collect yourself (and keep yourself from crying more than you already have) before getting into your car.

It’s over. Your “relationship” with Dean is over, and it hurts. You’d never felt this way about a man before; your feelings have never gotten this intense. But with Dean, things were different. He made you feel so happy, so alive, so… Indescribable.

‘Not that it matters anymore. It’s over.’

You take another deep breath as you pull out of his driveway, turning on the music in hopes of distracting your mind. You immediately regret your decision as Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking out Loud” blares through the speakers, making you shut it off immediately. The last thing you want to hear about right now is cute relationships that actually work out.

You manage to make it home without a breakdown, keeping your cool. You might be hurt beyond belief but you refuse to let it break you. You went almost the entirety of your life without a boyfriend- you can live without the absence of one now. Even if it is Dean Winchester. Even if you did think you were falling in love with him.

‘This was your choice, Y/N. You made this decision because it was for the best; don’t forget that.’

The second you walk into your house, Nina knows something is wrong. She’s sitting on the couch with some guy you’ve never even heard of, drinking a glass of wine while she obviously fake laughs at whatever he had said prior to your arrival. She looks up at you from the couch as you throw your purse onto the kitchen counter, avoiding eye-contact with everyone. All you want to do is go straight to your room and go to sleep.

“Y’know what, Daniel, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Nina tells the man on the couch next to her, giving you a look of concern.

“My names David-“

“Sorry, David,” She gives him an insincere smile. “But my friend here is obviously upset and it’s my duty as her best friend to put her before anything else. Sorry. I’ll see you around?”

“Nina,” You interject. “Don’t. I’m fine. Finish your night, don’t let me interrupt.”

You don’t give her time to respond before you walk into your bedroom, shutting the door behind you as you drag yourself into your bed. You notice that you have a few unread text messages but you don’t bother to check them before you plug your phone into the charger and turn on your TV, all intents of watching Netflix and snuggling into your blankets all night.

Just as you’ve pushed play on your favorite show, you can hear a soft knocking at your door. You sigh, knowing that it’s Nina. It’s not that you don’t want to talk to her or tell her what’s going on- you just don’t want to ruin her night just because you’re sulking about a breakup. If you can even call it that; you and Dean weren’t even technically together.

“Y/N?” Nina opens the door slowly, peeking her head in. Her lips curl downwards once she sees you curled up in bed, your eyes still slightly red from crying earlier.

“Go back to Daniel, or David, or whatever his name is.” You give her a weak laugh. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”

“I already kicked him out,” She puts her hand on your shoulder as she sits down beside you in bed. “Best friends are more important than one night stands. So, what happened? You wanna talk about it?”

“No, not really,” You shake your head. “It’s over. We’re done. That’s all there is to it.”

“Y/N…” Nina trails off. “I’m really sorry. I knew how much you liked him, he’s an asshole for-“

“I did it.” You cut her off. “I broke it off.”

“Oh,” She says quietly. “I’m still sorry. Whenever you want to talk- if you ever want to talk- I’m here. You know this. I’m never going anywhere; I love you. And Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Only two more months,” She gives you a smile. “Then its summer, and you won’t ever have to see him again.”

Nina leaves your room after that, giving you some alone time. You take some time to digest her words as you watch TV and eat the package of Oreos you keep in your room. You know Nina is right- only two more months. Two months and you won’t have to see Dean again unless you want to. These two months might be stressful and about every kind of awkward you can imagine, but you can do it.

All you have to do is make it through the end of the semester, and Dean Winchester will be out of your life for good.

a/n: theres only one chapter left after this…but I promise im not too mean, things will get better :)

series tag list (strikethrough mean i couldn’t tag you): @chandlerhuggs @jessiedangerous @probablyinsan-e@mysticalflowerchild  @sierrabrewerxo  @babyblues915 @thelaughingshadow @deasamnator@undecidedcookie@illtakeawinchesteranyday @giftofdreams@toobad–sosad@xgeekifiedx @winchester-writes@bunnyboo10154 @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son@theycallmespyms @erikafierce@fucklivedream @goldenstateof @shameless-danni@blueskybirdy @renegadehalo@nakedshowerdean@fallinginlovewiththefandom @vixrobs98@amazing-fandom-freak @dreamingofwinchesters@okayymoses @sanjaplavsic@izzybrat924 @skatinginpr0gress  @dancingalone21  @arbitranox @satan-is-here-bitch@docharleythegeekqueen@cfh21 @sabigmart @formulafun@lbug1025 @melissaj616  @danica-queen-of-hell@silenceofmidnite @paleogamrgrl@novakstiell @valerieshubin@randomthings077 @viahalsvyfangirl1855 @benjerry707@sarasmismyonlydefence@taylorspornoblog @reeeama@fangirl1855 @nicolesyneah25@cheerwinefordayz  @m1sund3rst0od  m00sesquirre1 @justcallmemrsbarnes @obsessedwithpsychoticmen @dailyn32102

tags are closed for this series, loves 

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #professor!dean winchester #professor!dean #professor winchester #professor au #university au #college au #series #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #spn #supernatural #one shot #student teacher relationship #student #teacher #professor #angst #smut #fluff #feels #au #reader insert

[robertshugartca]

Red lips are tricky. They instantly make us feel like we can...

Red lips are tricky. They instantly make us feel like we can take on the world, or at the very least, a 9 a.m. Monday morning meeting. The caveat? All too often, formulas leave us with dehydrated, wrinkly, smeared lips hours (or even minutes) later. This cult-classic formula from Tatcha, however, doesn’t. Both Amanda and I agree it’s the perfect shade of red (not too blue, not too orange), lasts all day, and keeps our pouts hydrated, plump, and photo-ready—regardless of how long ago we swiped. Like a daring hue of red, matte lips can be another tricky venture, and I typically stay away thanks to how chap-prone my lips are. This is the only matte lipstick I’ve ever loved and the brooding brick-red hue instantly makes whatever I’m wearing look 100% chicer. My go-to pairing is a tank, dark-wash jeans, and a leather jacket. Plus, minimalists rejoice: This lippie actually doubles as a creamy blush. If you have no time or patience for daring colors or finishes when it comes to your lip game, look no further than Tarte’s whimsical collection of sheer tinted balms. Though there are eight equally flattering hues to choose from, we love this perfect hit of nude that blends seamlessly into your natural lip color while flooding lips with a wash of dewy hydration. Miraculously, it lasts all day. I get that a hair product promising shine and smoothness sounds a little OTT, but trust me when I say that I pretty much refuse to go out in public without a few healthy spritzes of this new launch from R+Co. It’s chock-full of health-boosting, reparative ingredients like prickly pear, baobab, and sea buckthorn, and leaves even the most parched of strands with a light fairy dusting of shimmer. Its magic works equally on all hair textures and colors, and I even love spritzing it on my chest and shoulders pre-night out. (It’s just that glowy.) Between its amazing scent (think black coconut, orange blossom, sandalwood, and Pacific musk) and the radiantly shiny results it imparts, this ritualistic hair oil from beloved all-natural haircare brand Playa is everything your hair is craving this winter. And if you’re one to play outdoors regardless of season, fear not—this mix acts as a natural UV protected thanks to lycopene extracted from tomatoes. We’re not kidding. Typically we think of hair oils being applied after we’ve washed (on damp and dry strands alike), but this brilliant salve from luxe French brand Leonor Greyl targets your hair’s stubborn problem areas pre-shampoo. The result: super-strong strands that boast a ridiculous ratio of gloss and luster. It also just so happens to smell like heaven in a bottle. And everyone knows that as long as your hair smells amazing, you can pretty much conquer the world. And by “Barbie skin,” we mean a radiant, airbrushed finish that would make even a trash bag look chic AF. (Seriously, great skin days are just as powerful as good hair days.) For the face, we swear by this other-worldly setting powder from under-the-radar brand Stellar which keeps makeup in place without a hint of matte or flatness. (Adjectives that usually accompany the majority of setting powders we try, FYI.) Whenever Amanda wears it, I can’t stop obsessing over—and complimenting—her skin. I’ve tried a billion body bronzers since I first discovered this iconic tube back in college, and honestly, nothing has ever compared. First of all, it smells amazing and the compliments come fast and furious whenever I’ve slathered myself from head to toe. Second, it instantly gifts the skin with subtle luminosity, body-blurring perks, and the most believable of glow to flatter every single skin tone. It’s my best-kept secret for looking like I have flawless skin at all times. Spoiler: so not the case. Oh, and it will make you and your legs look ridiculously photogenic in photos. If you plan on showing off your legs anytime soon, it’s a no-brainer outfit pairing. ICYMI, I’m a little bit of a self-tanning expert and have tried almost every formula out there. And, this new one from Bali Body is—by far—one of the very best I’ve ever tried. It applies amazingly smoothly, doesn’t smell horrible, dries quickly, looks natural, lasts forever, and fades phenomenally. I’m obsessed and nothing makes my outfit look better than a healthy dose of color that makes me look like I just got back from, I don’t know, Bali?  Whenever we’re looking to update our practical yet pretty hair repertoire, we head to Emi Jay straight away. Currently, we’re loving this bow moment which just so happens to be a silky-cool collab with one of the industry’s most-wanted hairstylists, Chris McMillan. And since the bow sits atop the brands signature soft hair tie, you can still *adorably* wear it on your wrist for those impromptu moments when you want to let your hair down. These are pretty much the most luxurious hair ties a girl could ask for and, we confess, we love them just as much worn around our wrists as a pretty little outfit accent as we do in our hair. That said, if you’re looking for the ultimate hair tie antidote that lends itself to beauty sleep and dent-less styling equally, you’ve found your A+ match. We love this handy variety pack that meets all your neutral color needs. Aptly named, we’re obsessed with this posh velvet scrunchi from Alo Yoga—a studio-to-street hair miracle that comes in six different hues and utmost convenience. Not only do we love Aila for its amazing color choices (we’re forever doting on this pearlescent shade, in particular), but it’s also one of the cleanest polish brands we've come across. Nothing upgrades your outfit better than a star-studded mani, and these handy stickers from L.A. nail hot spot Olive & June make the process painless. All you have to do is peel, stick, and set with a clear topcoat. Normally we’d never want anything with a name reminiscent of dirt or grime anywhere near our nails, but this edgy hue from nontoxic brand Base Coat is the *fabulous* exception. It’s a satisfactory alternative to black but is less expected than other cold-weather hues like navy, burgundy, or emerald. Plus, it makes anything you’re wearing look instantly cooler, and nothing makes you look more put-together than a well-executed paint job. I kid you not—I’ve worn this exact glitter (it’s a cult-favorite from Stila) to work and black-tie events alike. It can be dressed down to go with a leather skirt, booties, and a hoodie, or dressed up for the most sensational of fancy-schmancy affairs. Either way, your entire ensemble will look all the better. While the Stila glitter above has a slightly finer payoff, this pretty pot of poison from Lemonhead.LA is a slightly ballsier graduation. The sparkle has a heartier chunk and texture, so there’s more of a head-turning moment when you use it as an addition to your outfit. Every single color and formula from the L.A.-based brand is beautiful, so you can’t go wrong, but we especially like the brand’s exclusive color collab with chic beauty retailer Violet Grey. It’s truly the best beauty accent to pair with any other rose-gold accessories you wear on the regular. Or if both of the above feel a tad too ostentatious, both Amanda and I maintain a hot-and-heavy love affair with these creamy, dreamy eye shadows from Tom Ford. They’re easy to use (we especially like shades Opale and Sphinx), provide the perfect twinkle, and never crease, or smudge. Consider these pretty little pots the perfect opportunity to dip your toe into the glitter pool without having to dive in headfirst.  Next up, fashion and beauty editors agree—you should always travel with these 18 products.

source https://gothify1.tumblr.com/post/182617375790

[backtothestart02]

Fallen Star - Chapter 3

A/N: Finally an update. Thank you all for your patience. I am going to make an extra effort to only be updating this particular multi-chap (aside from the occasional 2-3 parter) until it's finished.

*Many thanks to my beta, @valeriemperez, who always gives her absolute all in her edits and helping me brainstorm. She is forever the best. <3

Chapter 3 - 

The Monday after Christmas, which was really only one day later and far too soon to come back to work as far as she was concerned, Iris sat at her desk in her own personal office only vaguely aware of what she was actually doing.

Which was nothing.

Her computer was on with a blank document open before her. Internet browsers were minimized with nothing but the CCPN website and a Google search. She couldn’t remember what story she was supposed to be looking into, couldn’t even remember what time it was or if she’d taken a break yet. Probably not. She only took lunch breaks usually. At least, she thought that was her norm. Today anything was possible.

The click-click-clicking of her pen as it bounced on and off the desk was eventually interrupted by the light knock on the door.

The new sound came again, this time against the door frame, which meant the door had been opened. Vaguely she wondered why she hadn’t felt some sort of breeze gush past her ankles or the tendrils of hair coming undone in her sloppy braid.

“Iris.”

She blinked, turned slowly around and fought hard to register who was before her.

“Iris?”

The concern was warranted probably. She was so out of it, so sleep-deprived from a night without happiness, a Christmas without Barry – the first in over fifteen years! Anyone who cared about her at all would worry, and Linda didn’t even know about the break up.

“Hey!” Linda snapped her fingers in front of Iris’s face after closing the office door behind her. “Earth to Iris?” She propped herself on the edge of her desk and stared her down, softening when Iris’s blank stare didn’t alter. “Babe?”

Iris closed her eyes and told herself to get her act together. She couldn’t stay in her head all day, not even involuntarily. She had to do work. She had to…

“Christmas not go well?” Linda smoothed down one of Iris’s curls.

“Barry and I broke up.”

Linda’s hand dropped down and landed in her lap. The silence was deafening.

“What?” she finally managed, the word a heated whisper.

Iris nodded once and opened her eyes.

“Yep.”

Linda scoffed. “Why the hell would Barry Allen break up with you? You’re the total package.”

“Apparently I’m being too reckless by doing my job. Since I said I wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t be with someone who tried to make me stop, he decided to break up with me.”

Linda’s eyes were flaming darts.

“Bastard.”

“Yeah, well…”

“When did he break up with you? Don’t tell me he did on Christmas.”

“Christmas Eve,” she replied, sarcasm and hurt clear as day in her eyes and fake smile.

Linda’s face fell. She looked as distraught as Iris felt.

“Oh, honey.” She got on her knees and hugged her best friend. “This absolutely sucks. I’m so sorry.”

Iris swallowed, still numb, tears still not falling. Linda pulled back to look into her eyes.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“You were in Denver with your family, Lin. I didn’t want to interrupt that.”

“Fat ass excuse, and you know it, Iris. You’re my best friend and my family annoys the hell out of me. Consoling you over a forced family dinner where no one really agrees with anyone but we all pretend like we do for the sake of the holiday? I’d take you any day, even if it’s for a rotten reason.”

Iris swallowed and nodded. Linda hugged her again.

“Did it absolutely ruin your whole Christmas? Was there nothing to salvage?”

Iris’s shaky sigh broke Linda even more. Her heart ached for her best friend.

“I didn’t see him all day, Lin. I’ve spent every Christmas with him since we were eleven. Over fifteen years and not one Christmas without him. It absolutely wrecked me.” Her breath hitched.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Linda declared. She got to her feet. “I’m going to march over to CCPD right now, and not even his speed will avert my wrath forever.”

Iris reached out and grabbed her best friend’s wrist before she could take off.

“No, Lin, don’t.” She took a breath. “Please.”

Linda’s brows furrowed. “Why not? He hurt you. He deserves to pay for it.”

“Maybe.” Her shoulders slumped. “But not today. Today I just want to forget. I can’t even work, and I’m so…so frustrated by that. I love work. I can’t get enough of it. But today, I just…”

“You should’ve called in sick.”

“And do what? Stay home staring out my window like I did all night? Wondering what he’s doing and if he’s as miserable as I am or if he just feels plain relieved that he doesn’t have to try and restrain himself anymore?”

“I’m sure he’s not relieved, Iris.”

“Some part of him might be.”

“It’s not like you’re going to stop doing your work. He has to know you’re going to go out there again.”

“And he’ll be there to stop me when I do,” she grumbled, irritated by that fact for the first time since their big fight.

“Did he say that?”

“I think it was implied.”

“What were his exact words?” she demanded.

Iris sighed and leaned back in her chair, forcing herself to remember the conversation that had plagued her for the last forty-eight hours and desperately wanted to forget just so she could keep living.

“I believe his exact words were…’I won’t let that happen. Even if I have to speed you away every fucking time you decide to test whether or not you’re faster than a bullet.’”

Linda’s jaw dropped. “He swore?”

Iris nodded once. “He swore.”

“Dang.” She leaned against the side of Iris’s desk. “Guess that means he’s serious.”

Iris sighed. “If I’d had any doubt, him not showing up at our Christmas party sure proved me wrong.”

“Ugh. This totally sucks, Iris.” She folded her arms tightly against her body.

Iris laughed. “You said that already.”

Linda’s lips twisted ruefully. “Sorry.”

Iris shook her head. “It’s alright. You’re not lying. It seriously does.”

She tilted her head. “How can I help?”

Iris nearly burst out crying.

“Get me through today, and then make sure I forget the worst day of my life as soon as we leave this building.”

“Deal.”

She held out her hand for Iris to shake on it, which she did. Then Linda darted out of the room, confusing Iris but then making her eyes sparkle as soon as she returned with two coffee cups in her hands.

“First step, caffeine.”

Iris held the cup close to her, taking comfort in the warmth teasing her nostrils and warming her hands.

“I did forget this morning. That’s a first.”

“That’s why you have me,” Linda informed her and bumped her cup with her own.

…

 That evening when Joe opened his front door and found Barry standing there with a box marked Iris’s things, he didn’t know whether to be concerned, angry, or confused.

He went with shocked.

“Bear. What are you doing here?” A thought occurred to him, and his eyes widened. “Are you—Are you coming for dinner?”

Barry almost laughed, but it was no laughing matter, so he shook his head instead.

“No, Joe, I just came to drop off Iris’s things.” He lifted the box slightly to show him, even though he knew Joe had seen it. The box was huge and Iris’s name on it was in big, bold permanent lettering. “I know she’s coming by later. I thought you could give them to her.”

Reluctantly Joe took the box from Barry.

“I wish you’d stay, Barry.”

“I can’t, Joe.” His voice nearly disappeared for a second.

“Not even for me? I didn’t see you at all for Christmas. That hurt me too.”

Barry nodded, avoiding his eyes. “I know. I’m sorry about that. I just couldn’t…”

“We all missed you. Cisco, Caitlin…Wally…”

Barry blinked and looked up at him. “Wally missed me? I can’t picture that. He must want me dead.”

“Nobody knows, Bear.” He continued before Barry could interject, which he looked about to do. “Nobody knows except Cisco. He might’ve told Caitlin, but I didn’t break the news to Wally. It was clear Iris didn’t want anyone to know, but Cisco couldn’t get a hold of you. He almost left the party to check on you, which would’ve gotten Wally’s attention, I think, and—”

“I got it, Joe. It’s okay.”

“Did he visit you afterwards? He did leave a little early, and with no real explanation either. Caitlin wasn’t far behind him.”

Barry sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“I didn’t see Caitlin last night, but I definitely saw Cisco. Neither of us were pleased to see each other.” His eyes shifted away from Joe’s sad ones for a moment. “Did, uh…the night wasn’t a complete waste, was it? Better than last year at least.”

Joe sighed and adjusted his grip on the box.

“I can’t tell you which one was worse, Bear. Last year when my daughter hated me so much she refused to have Christmas with me or this year when the two children I raised, who love each other more than life itself, were absolutely miserable and the one I saw couldn’t light a smile on her face even she wanted to.”

Barry closed his eyes, guilt flooding through him.

“I didn’t plan for it to happen on Christmas, Joe. The fight just happened, and I lost it.”

“You could try to talk your way through it, you know. Give her a couple days and then ask to have a talk. If you grovel, she’ll eventually take you back. She can’t live without you any more than you can live without her.”

Barry’s lips twisted. “Cisco said about the same thing.”

Joe’s eyes lit up, hope dangling before his eyes even though he sensed there wasn’t enough cause for it.

“Well?”

“I can’t, Joe. This fight was a long time coming. Iris isn’t going to stop risking her neck any more than I’m going to stop saving her before she gets herself killed. No matter how level-headed we are during our next conversation, those facts will not change.”

Joe’s shoulders slumped. “That’s why you broke up?”

Barry’s brows furrowed. “Yeah. Didn’t Iris tell you?”

He shook his head. “She barely said a word all evening. Just said that you did when I asked what was wrong for the zillionth time. I knew she wasn’t sick like she said. I know my daughter. That’s not sick. That’s heartsick.”

“I’m not trying to hurt her, Joe. You have to know that.”

“I know.” He nodded. “And I agree with you that she shouldn’t be running into danger. Nothing scares me more than any of my kids getting physically hurt, or worse.”

Barry swallowed hard, a vision of Iris at gunpoint just before he’d sped her away the last time literally seconds before the bullet hit her chest.

“Yeah,” he managed, “I know.”

He wanted to vent to Joe more about how Iris scared him with her persistent dash into the line of fire, but he didn’t want anyone else attacking her. Just because he had a temper in regards to it didn’t mean she had to get it from her dad too. Or her brother. She would learn soon enough that running into danger had its consequences, but not because someone yelled or she got hurt. She would learn by being saved over and over until it was drilled into her brain that her life meant more than a story. He refused to believe otherwise. Even if she hated him for the rest of her life, he would make that clear.

“You’re sure you won’t stay?” Joe ventured again, though he knew it was a lost cause.

“I won’t starve,” Barry said, as if that was what was behind Joe’s request.

Joe nodded, half-tempted to argue a little more, but knowing in his gut now was too soon. Having both his kids – or maybe all three – at the dinner table would be awkward as hell and might even result in a fight. Then Wally would know what was up and there would be a throw down. That was a toxic situation. Iris would tell her brother when she was good and ready.

“Right. Well, have a good night, Barry. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Barry gave a brisk nod.

“Night, Joe. I’ll see you at CCPD in the morning.”

Joe backed into the house and gently closed the door, deaf to Barry’s wretched sigh from the other side.

Barry raced away back to his apartment, which was cold and empty without Iris in it. He turned on the kitchen light, dropped his keys on the counter and reached into the cupboard for the stale cereal he’d bought a month ago, the only food in the whole place that didn’t have a touch of Iris on it. She hated the stuff, and once she said so, he’d instantly stopped eating it. She didn’t live in his apartment, but she was there so often that he implemented every suggestion and preference she made – from his food to his clothing to the shows he watched and where they went out to eat.

“You don’t have to change everything just because I say so, Bear,” she’d remarked once, to which he’d grinned and shrugged and pulled her close.

“I like to see my girl smile. My girl doesn’t smile as much when she sees something she doesn’t like.”

She’d laughed and rolled her eyes and kissed him. It was enough to never want to go back to anything he’d preferred before, anything at all that she didn’t love. And it was nothing he hadn’t generally liked before she’d declared her love for it. But now he loved all of it and it hurt like hell.

Iris was all over his apartment. Everywhere he looked he saw her and memories of them. Taking down the decorations off the half-decorated tree on Christmas and stuffing it in the trash as soon as he woke up the next morning hadn’t helped one bit. He’d taken out what she hadn’t touched. Now he was stuck with everything she had.

*Also available on AO3 and FFnet.

#westallen #westallenedit #fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #fallen star #chapter 3 #angst #barry x iris #barry allen #iris west #joe west #linda park

[hellogreenergrass]

Signy Island - Week Seven

22nd Jan – Sunday

Lie ins are lush. I feel renewed. This last week Ive been firing on ½ my cylinders I think. Not sure why, but after a month of full speed, I think I needed to take my foot off the peddle. I’ve been effectively part time this week, with days out to help Stacey not counting as work. But today I will end an easy week with a flourish. I will have A WHOLE DAY OFF. No lab, no thinking of work, no field treks. Just cooking, some rowing, writing and photography. Stacey took my early this morning as she had to get up early anyway to sort out some krill samples (she does this so the rest of us dont have to endure the stench that seeps out from her lab!). I owe her bigly. Oh yes, and Donald Trump was sworn in on Friday. I feel like we are entering a dystopian novel. He was greeted by ½ million people marching in protest through Washington DC. It will be an interesting presidency. A few weeks ago, we all made wishes as we threw wood into a fire and collectively decided that we wished a rapid and ultimately dooming impeachment upon him…

I’ve been drawing most days, but on the whiteboard in the living room as well as my sketch book.  It started as a small pic of something for whoever was on earlies that day. Then Stacey asked for a woodland as she missed trees, and I drew a landscape of a birch stand next to a river that wound down from some hills in the distance. On the other side of the river stands an old oak tree with branches that reach out over a waterfall. Since then, each day I add something else at the request of whoever is on earlies. We now have bluebells and harebells, sheep, a wolf, a peacock, a monkey, highland cows, a llama, a rabbit, and a bear. Iain & Stacey drew me a small hedgehog and some butterflies last night. Looking at it one night, Matt said he’d like me to do something for the new base they are building in the next few years. He will give some thought to what. Nice to think my work would be here even if I am not!

Meowntains  - new word combining two of my loves, cats and mountains. If there is a heaven …

24th Jan

This month is flying by! Cant believe its almost February. And Im almost 34. Jeez. Have been a bit slack at writing in this lately. I put my diary in a drawer in my room and whenever I have the presence of mind to remember it, I either couldn’t be bothered or get distracted en route. So now Im making an effort over brekkie.

The last few days have largely been lab/office based. I spent Monday trying to update my field plan for the coming month and reworking some experiments. The grid plan has had a reboot, less elegant now, but also less work. I hope.  I’ve been reading the work of a chap called Smith (we don’t do first names in scientific literature!) who has been working on Marion Island in the sub-Antarctic Indian Ocean area. His work spans 30 years from a word mapped food web to today, actual raw data on the energy and nutrient flow on the island. I’d love to do something like that here on Signy. He compiled data on all the input from major wildlife contributors and how the plants use it or lose it. Where it runs off the Island or gets blown back in, and the likely fate of it in the oceans. Science like that makes me heart all a flutter!

Aqlima and I went out to look for adult midge on Monday, to no avail. Although she really enjoys looking for them as she works with essentially invisible bacteria, so bugs are massive and remarkably charismatic for her! I think the adults are finished now. Where they go to die I couldn’t tell you as I’ve stopped seeing them in my soil samples too. Add that to the bank of mysteries and unanswerable questions I am accruing this season. I’ve also started going out to collect a species of mite for Scott (my boss back in Brum). He wants to do some population genetics on them. But whilst Ive started collections, Im not sure we can amend my permit again to take them off the island. Can but ask though.

Iain and I spent a few hours out yesterday getting in the last of the soil cores. Sun shone, the wind blew and the innuendo flowed! Down at the site in the unfortunately named Gash Cove, we went down onto the rocks and stood in the sun watching the huge swell roll up a slope of glistening rock the colour of titanium and almost iridescent.  It was a slab of mica-schist, mica being the mineral that gives the glitter to eye shadow. It had been buffered smooth by the waves who slid up the slope many meters and then recoiled back to the ocean excessively exposing an area of rocks and shore rarely seen, like the draw back of a tidal wave, or the curled snarl of lip. It was hypnotic. No furries around here, which is odd. In fact numbers have dropped off again, which Im told is unusual.

Im off to Gourlay today. Day out on my todd. The sun is shining, but its still blowing a hooley. I’ll collect that mite (Alaskozetes antarcticus) and spot sample the route for my midge along the way. Have lunch at the huts out there and see the penguins, then pop down to Cemetery Flats on my way home for more samples. Just me myself and I. Should be a nice day out J

26th Jan

I twisted my ankle!! Not even a little bit, but a proper sprain with swellings and everything! I’d been to Gourlay, hiked back and collected all the samples. Then as I stood at the top of the Stonechute, the final rock and scree descent to base, I recalled Stacey’s recent tale of her twisting her ankle just meters from base whilst carrying a heavy load. It was just a 2cm drop off a rock, but put her off her feet for weeks. I pondered this as I heaved my loaded rucksack on, weighed down by kilos of soil samples, decided not to withdraw my second walking pole and dove down the chute. Despite being just a few hundred meters from home and the first and last part of everyone’s day out, it is one of the riskiest bits. Not least because as well as being steep and loose, it is often full of fur seals. And it was furries that I was checking for as I misplaced my footing and went over on the side of my foot.

I knew immediately that it was not good as I sat trying to catch my breath that had just been dragged from me by the rushing and unweilding pain. Not again I thought. Just last July, I’d gone over on my left leg and torn any remaining shreds of ligament and cartilagein my knee whilst up in the mountains of Norway and out on my own. At least this time I had VHF radio and base in sight. I realised I was going to need help. No way was I carrying that bag across the boulders of the high-tide route. I called in and Alex and Stacey came out to help me back down. I slowly and carefully negotiated my way back, and an hour of ice and elevation followed by a shower seem to have eased it a bit. As have the painkillers. And the 2 glasses of gin I just had. So now I feel just fine!

27th Jan

Woke to stiffness and a substantial amount of pain this morning, but thankfully this eased as the day went on. Although the swelling has peaked and there is some bruising coming through now. I’ll be a few shades of purple soon. At least I actually did something, hate to think Im being melodramatic! I have to try and go out to do some field work tomorrow though, not sure how likely that is, I can’t walk properly. I’ve prepped the ion-exchange membranes already and they have a limited amount of time to be used you see. I did the last of the work whilst watching Seven Years in Tibet tonight in anticipation of being able to at least stagger along in the field with some back-up tomorrow. Great movie, and by God that man. I swear Brad Pitt must have hovered up all the good-looking genes in his family for the best part of a century. The mind boggles. Speaking of good looking men, I spoke to K today. He’s been offered a new job! Interview was at 11am, with two others to follow him and by 2pm they’d made up their mind and called to offer him the position.  I’m not surprised, he has that effect on people ;-)

Wind is still blowing hard and finding its way into the cracks and gaps in the seams of the cabin. Makes the whole place scream and whistle all the time. Some flights from Punto Arenas in Chile to Rothera on the Peninsular have been delayed. I wonder if they have the same weather system. Few thousand km away though. Its been quite unstable the last few weeks, but we are about to enter the warmest month of the year soon, so at least it may stop snowing even the wind keeps up its run of 20+ knots!

#antarctica

[loveinruins]

He's losing me..

So last Friday I told myself that we were just going to eat and then I was going to go on the date that I had planned. So Friday night comes and he waited for me because he finished early and he asked me to make a decision on where to eat and I was like you always make me choose. I chose last week can't you pick?? Seriously I always pick when we go somewhere.. after complaining he goes look I wouldn't mind pizza or Italian.. so because I've never been to DOC before we decided to go there. On the way we were having a chat about the whole MT sitch again and just had a bit of banter or whatever. We get to DOC and it wasn't busy so I go shotgun the couch and he goes and sits on a table for two and goes where are you shotgunning? I rolled my eyes and I was like ugh fine.. Anyway so we have dinner and he's like what pizza are you gonna get? He's like look all the pizzas are good if you want you get one and I'll get one and we'll share. So I ended up ordering margarita to be safe and he ordered capricosa with anchovies or something and it was still nice. So we were just talking about random shit I mean I've left this blog so long I can't really remember now but I remember overall I had a good time. So good that when he dropped me off home I didn't want to go and meet up with DB. I remember he said something to me in the car and I was like can you pls be nice I'm really fragile right now. I was on the phone to B and she like cracked it at me saying that enough is enough and I had to go and whatever. So I ended up going and having fun. DB was tall af, tanned and older. Just a man. Everything G is not. So I ended up going to Carlton club and meeting him there, we had a few drinks and I had a good time. I had a few people ask me if he was boyfriend and if we were on a date and I was like yeah. These randoms told us we look cute together and I was like oh yeah.. He was so touchy feely with me and grabbing me and whatever then it was really cold and I wanted to leave cos I had my eyelash app the next morning and def was not missing that so I offered to take DB home and when we got to the front of his house I was like thanks for tonight and he goes oh come in and I go umm nah I've got an app early and he goes come in my house is warm and I go mmm I dunno and then he goes just come in baby and I'm like alright but only for 20 mins. Fast forward the night we were fooling around but didn't sleep together cos I had my period. He held me in his arms and stroked my hair until I fell asleep and I woke up in his arms and was like fuckkkk gtg. Anyway I kissed him bye and left. So all week I didn't hear from him but he kept telling me that he wanted to see me next Friday and to make sure I didn't sleep with anyone else because I told him I hadn't for like 4 years. So Friday that just passed came and I didn't hear from him and I knew G wanted to hang out on Friday night so I messaged DB asking him if I was still seeing him and he was like oh I already made plans. This pissed me the fuck off and I was so upset like legit don't even know why or how I was so upset by him. I dunno if it's because he said to me that he wanted to see me and to make sure that he did see me or if it was because he made me feel so wanted when he stroked my hair and held me until I fell asleep. Like no one has ever done that with me before and when I woke up I was still in his arms and he kissed me of the forehead and everything. Anyway so I was pretty upset the whole day because of that and then later in the afternoon when I went over to EM's team area and G was giving me shit to try and get my attention I pretty much just ignored him and ended up walking up to G and just being like what? He goes what's wrong straight away and I'm like nothing nothing and he kept asking and pestering me about it and I was just like nothing I'm just tired and he goes you're lying and I go I'm not he goes just tell me and I'm like nothing he goes is it work? I go no. He goes what is it again I was denying anything and then he goes is it a guy? I go yes ok.. And then that's when he was like oh ok... Turns around to this desk and puts his phone on available and then goes ok well what happened and I'm like I don't want to talk about it, he goes we'll talk about it later and I go no we won't and walked off. End of day comes and we go to leave work and in the car I was tearing because my eyelash was poking into my eye and he was like wtf what's wrong just tell me you're basically crying and I go I'm not he's like I don't fucking believe you and I was like wtf I'm not my eyelash is poking into my eye. He's like just tell me and kept pestering me about it once again. I'm like ughhhhh I was meant to see this guy tonight and he made other plans when he said he was going to see me last week when I saw him but now I'm not. Like don't tell me you really want to see me and then go and make other plans. He was like well maybe he just made plans with the boys when did you last see him? I was like last Friday and then at that moment he realized I went and saw DB and not the boys as I had told him. He goes well don't be upset like I'm sure because you guys didn't speak or whatever he just thought he wasn't gonna see you. I was like yeah but don't tell me you wanna see me and then make other plans wtf?! So we're driving whatever and he goes I haven't seen you this upset before, well since the last guy you told me about which was a few months ago and I'm like mm yeah let's not count that one.. anyway he goes well don't worry about it too much or whatever and we started talking about something else. We ended up going to lamb on chaps and grabbed a feed, spoke some shit and then as we were in the car I copped a message from DB.. I like gasped Instantly he could see my whole mood changed and I had a smile on my face and he goes look at your face and I go what? He goes look how happy you are that he's messaged you and I'm like yeah.. he goes you must really like him and I go yeah I mean I like him but not like really like him and he goes relax you can show some emotion sometimes you know. I was like alright whatever and he goes what did he say? I go he aais what's up miss? He goes ok wait about halfa to reply and I go yeah I know I'm not gonna reply straight away. He's like what are you gonna say I'm like I dunno and he goes just say I'm in the car with my work friend he's taking me home, make sure you say he so he knows you're with a guy. I go no wtf why would I say I'm with a guy he's gonna be like no wtf it's like him saying he's out for dinner with a girl like nooo.. He goes oh fuck so are you gonna be able to have guy friends? Soon T is gonna get a boyfriend and there won't be time for old mate G anymore and I go yeah exactly so appreciate the time you spend with me and he goes fuck off you should appreciate the time you spend with me and I go no don't get it twisted babe you appreciate the time with me. G then drops me off home and before he does he goes you know I'm really happy for you I hope this guy doesn't break your heart because if he does there's gonna be a problem and I'm like lol what are you gonna do he goes nah I mean I'll message the baker and he'll sort him out and I laughed in my head I was like yeah you pussy like you'd do anything. I kinda fucked up because I said to him you know you irritate me so much you're the only person who gets under my skin so bad but I can't stay mad at you. I don't even know why. You should've seen the smile he had on his face. So he snapped me a couple of times that night and yeah he made a comment about how all his friends love me and whatever. I was like yeah your friends are nice. Umm anyway I didn't really speak to him all weekend just via snap here and there. Comes yesterday on Monday he watched my snap story and replied to it saying yes late shift still in bed or something and I was like.. 😒 and he goes haha if it makes it any better I'll drive in today xx I was like yaaas 😇 Anyway during work he goes so are you actually gonna come home with me tonight and I go yeah I have to stay back and do proposals anyway. So MT and KT were both giving me shit saying that I was waiting for him and I was like well why wouldn't I? I'm getting a ride home and I'm staying back anyway. So anyway he tells me on the way home how he likes hanging out with me and why he thought I was a cool chick from the start and specifically in his words called me a ''mad bitch". He then brought up an analogy as we again were on the topic about him and MT. He goes for example it's like if you had bf and all of a sudden I was like T I think you're cute and all this shit and then another analogy about how hypothetically we were bf and gf and I was thinking to myself. This jiggaboo.. y u do dis? I dunno I felt like I was doing really well and using DB as a distraction and I just feel like what he said in the car about me being with a work guy friend was him trying to sabotage me because now he knows I'm over him. Like officially. I feel like since he has found out he has tried a lot hard to reel me back in. Even the baker agrees with me. Even today I didn't pay him much attention but he sent me a lead and I saw him a bit after work and he cracked it cos I didn't say bye to him. I go I did say bye but you didn't hear me obviously. He then goes oh so you're not so nice to me when I don't drive you home and I go umm no wtf and we had a bit of banter and he has his arm around me to hug me and he goes I saw you go Up to EM and hug her and I go ok tomorrow I will make sure I say hiiii G and gave him a hug and he goes I'll be like wtf is going on. I go exactly. Anyway him and MT are finally sorting things out so let's see how that goes but before I left I was like bye besties and G goes yeah me? I know. Anyways I dunno. Whatever I'm like 95% over it. At least that's what I'm telling myself anyway.

#dear diary