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princessefemmelesbian · 9 months

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Lesbophobes on this site love to act like lesbians’ identity and attraction is something restrictive, rigid, and stifling, a needless limitation that we subject ourselves to, like us only loving women and not loving men is some sort of rule that we’re aggressively forcing upon ourselves and in doing so denying ourselves the right to freedom, with that “freedom” being fucking men. They love to act like we’re forcing ourselves and other lesbians to stick to the majority agreed-upon rule of “not fucking men” and that if one of us does inevitably “decide” to fuck a man, then we’ll be punished by the lesbian cult sisterhood for “being a lesbian wrong” and forced to give up our Dyke Card and be exiled from the community. They love to say “let lesbians fuck men” as if us not fucking men is something we’re unfairly restricting ourselves and each other from doing, because obviously we all must secretly really want to fuck men, we just thought we couldn’t because then the other mean dykes would come for our heads! Won’t someone help out the poor little lesbians who just wanna fuck a man, just once, pretty please?

When in reality, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Lesbophobes can’t wrap their heads around the fact that not everybody genuinely wants a man in their life, and so lesbians must be depriving ourselves of something out of pressure to conform to pure lesbianism. But in reality, it’s not something we’re forcing ourselves to do. We actually do love women and women alone and sincerely don’t want to sleep with men or feel any attraction towards them. Us not sleeping with men isn’t some sort of self-inflicted punishment, in fact, quite the contrary. We’re happy to not be attracted to men, happy to not sleep with them, happy to not have an identity that includes or centers men and their pleasure.

For us lesbians, it’s actually being with men that would feel like a punishment, like something being forced upon us to conform to the right ideals, like something we don’t want to do but feel like we have no choice but to anyway. And many of us have been in situations like this, where we forced ourselves to like, be with, put up with, or sleep with men. And now that we’re not doing that anymore, we are freer and happier than we’ve ever been! Our “attraction” to men or romantic/sexual involvement with men was the burden, not the lack of it.

Lesbophobes always act like we’re missing out on some great and wonderful thing because who wouldn’t want to like men? Who would deprive ourselves of the joy of having men? But us lesbians would rather not be involved with men in any way, and that’s exactly how we like it. It’s natural for us. Not something we have to do or are forbidden from doing. Nobody’s “enforcing” the rule on us that we can’t like men or else(in fact, it’s quite the opposite, we get the message from everyone else that we have to like men and give them a chance or else, and Tumblr is no different.). We simply don’t desire men, we don’t WANT to desire men, and instead desire other women/non-binary sapphics exclusively, and we’re perfectly happy being that way, thank you very much. 😇

TLDR: Lesbophobes on Tumblr love to act like us lesbians are pressuring ourselves to abide by a rigid, strict set of "rules" that force us to distance ourselves from men and never, ever, sleep with them as much as we "want" to(because obviously all women crave men deep down, even the lesbians!) because they can't comprehend the idea of anyone not seeing men as desirable or centering them in our attraction, and so they think we're shutting ourselves off from men and holding ourselves to impossible standards(as if no one can truly NOT like men, sexuality is fluid y'all!), when in reality lesbians are simply naturally only attracted to women and enjoy not being attracted to men; we find not needing a man to be fulfilled legitimately liberating and relaxing for us, and we certainly don't want to sleep with one, so don't you dare try to tell us otherwise.

Derail and disagree with this and you’ll get hit by a car.

#lesbian #lesbophobia #anti-bi lesbian #anti-mspec lesbian #anti-lesboy #comphet #tw corrective rape #op

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trentonsimblr · 9 months

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Spent the last 2 days reading all of Trenton Royals and @ardeney-sims Safe Haven and I have a few thoughts:

Asshat needs to die frfr- how f*cking dare he touch Lauryn and then go and marry a practical child!

Eleanor and Ryland need to be honest with each other and either see a counselor to save their marriage, or just separate so they can move on and live happier lives

Archer needs to let Eleanor go, he has a beautiful woman who is clearly in love with him right there, he needs to open his eyes and realize it

Edith and Everly (and possibly Daphne) need to quit their scheming BS before more people die

Where is Kiana's love story? She's not in any of the future posts I've seen (which is admittedly only the one's after tumblr broke your previous/next links around Eleanor's 3rd pregnancy) and I just want the poor cinnamon roll to be happy! And I just want her to stick it to her mom/Everly/Asshat and show up to an event in a PURPLE dress and make it clear that she's above all this Ingebretson drama

Vanessa needs to get over her beef with Blaze so they can be bestest archery buds (or...more?)

Blaze is such a goddamn himbo (affectionate <3)

And some AU notes lol:

Tristenor is an absolute unit of a power couple and their combined genetics was too beautiful for this world :'-)

The coup in the Archenor AU...how much can I bribe you to make it canon? #justdiealreadyAsshat

OMG! This is amazing and so well thought out! Thank you for the binge read and sharing your thoughts! I will try to reply to all of them:

I agree! He needs to be stopped. He's gone too far!

YES! The only way out of this mess is to communicate and talk through their shit! Their lack of communication is what got them into this situation though...maybe they'll figure it out?

Agreed! He needs to get his act together before he looses her for real.

they're just getting started..... (insert evil laugh here)

Another Kiana stan! I would love to give her more screen time, I promise you she'll be a bit more active in future posts (not sure how far in the future) but she does have an important role to play in some of the future plots. She may not go so far as to wear purple yet but her transitioning from red to light pink her her subtle way of branching out from her family and becoming her own person.

They get a long so well...I'm not sure how well Vanessa would react to finding out her online friend is actually her arch nemesis...

He is a himbo! What's funny is that up until @ardeney-sims fell in love with him, he was basically just background decoration in posts. She's the only reason he has a storyline at all lol.

RIGHT!!!!! Giving them their own lil AU story like the Archenor one is on my "when I have time and feel like it list." There's so many different directions I could go with it that I have zero motivation to work on one because I can't see a clear story.

A million dollars? Nah, I have his fate all mapped out already. I will neither confirm nor deny that it's as satisfying as the AU death.

#trentonasks #thanks for the ask #blueorchidsims #thank you again for the follow/ bine read/ thoughtful comments!#It made my day!

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summonerscenarios · 3 years

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So, mc adopting at least one of each of the Child mobs, how would that go?

IT MAY BE 4AM BUT THAT'S NEVER STOPPED ME BEFORE LETS DO SOME MF HCS.

Sadly I was only able to work on two of the mob kiddos as I didn't want this to get too long but I still hope its okay~!

Also just a heads up a lot of this is a pure waffle of information based on my own interpretations of the mobs so here's hoping I did a good job with them lmao.

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It wouldn’t have been the first time you’d ended up inadvertently adopting someone, nor will it be the last knowing your luck. It’s not like you intentionally do anything to draw people to you, it just so happened that the things that you did and situations you got wrapped up in led to you getting to know all kinds of people in the process. And those people saw you in all kinds of ways - most saw you as friends, others saw someone else in you, more than a few made no attempts to hide their blatant flirting - and, rarely, a few would even see you as a role model,a mentor or parental figure to look up to.

You honestly have no idea why, after all, it’s not as though you go out of your way to make particularly responsible decisions (if anything, you get yourself in enough trouble that you’d imagine you’re anything but a role model) but a lot of the younger transients and students seem to flock towards your presence, looking for comfort, advice, or just someone who respects them. At first it was just the younger members of your guild that you technically took under your wing - as the Guildmaster you assumed it was only natural to look out for them, and you’d long gotten used to protecting Agyo and Kijimuna, wanting to make sure that the only thing they had to worry about was having the chance to be kids rather than getting dragged into the Guild’s app-based affairs. It’s not like responsible parental figures are easy to come by in this world of app-battles and fighting, so that’s perhaps why when you start taking a more protective, nurturing role with the younger ones that more of them begin popping up.

Surprisingly, the ghosts are some of the first mob children that you noticed began flocking towards you. Roaming spirits are unusual but certainly not rare, and it honestly breaks your heart a little to see so many young ghosts lingering around in the unexplored corners of the city, searching for one thing or another. Things feel...off, for a while before you can pin down the issue - you start feeling as though you’re being watched when you’re in the guildhouse by someone other than your teammates, and when your attempts to shake off the uneasy feeling doesn’t work, you decide to bring it up to your fellow Guild members in case it’s someone trying to spy. You want to make sure it’s not someone who can bring danger to the guild, but you don’t have much of a chance to set up a search of the building when the D-evils come tottering into your field of view, screeching up a storm and motioning towards an otherwise unassuming corner of the window.

Turns out you weren’t the only one noticing the other presence, as Shiro’s D-evils seem to have picked up on it to - and when your attention snaps over to the window to see what they’re pointing to you barely catch a glimpse of the flickering figure of a ghost child as they disappear from view. From that point on you start spotting the child more often - he’s shy or wary, always lingering someone just out of the corner of your eye but never getting any closer almost like he’s afraid. He seems to have taken an interest in you though, especially whenever the younger guild members come around to spend time at the guild, and it isn’t long before you notice that he’s intently watching the way you watch over and care for the kids of the guild - he looks almost sad in these instances, but never dares to get any closer and disappears as soon as you turn to look at him. Over time it becomes almost normal to have a resident ghost at the guild (though Agyo still shudders at the mention of ghosts despite having seen the kid plenty of times since arriving). He seems to be more at ease after a while of watching you, and things finally come to a head one day when you’re playing videogames with Hanuman and the other kids, noticing that the little ghost has wandered far closer than he’d ever done in the past, watching the small screen setup on the floor with an avid interest that seems far happier than the forlorn looks he’d had before. Taking a chance you tilt your head to look over at the ghost child, motioning him to come over and join; he disappears for a moment, startled, but right as you start to worry you may have scared the kid off he rematerializes, inching hesitantly closer and closer till he’s hovering beside the rest of your group, eyes fixed to the characters on screen with a child-like wonder.

You aren’t quite sure how this ended up with you adopting the ghost child yourself. It’s just one day you were talking about how you were pretty much adopted by the teachers at school and how you’d like to pay it forward some day, and the next you were talking about ‘son’ this, and ‘might as well take the kid under your wing’ that - you were practically acting like an impromptu parent for like a fifth of the people you knew anyway, so what was actually adopting a child? Toji had just about choked to death when you’d made the unfortunate decision to announce that fact mid-drink, and Shiro spent more than his fair share of time probing you with the legal questions surrounding a student adopting a child, ghost transient or not. Ryota seems incredibly excited by the idea however, gushing about being an uncle and wondering if your new son can eat and if so what his favorite food is - plenty of questions for a later time.

Ghost is certainly the most clingy of the children you end up adopting, and it’s clear from the get go in the sense that the poor little one is essentially glued to your side from the moment you take the venture to actually adopting him. With few things remaining in the physical world to cling onto, the familial bond is something that the little one cherishes and he absolutely refuses to budge on letting it, and by proxy, you, go. For a while he actually fears you’re going to leave him and take back what you said about protecting him and being a good parent. He of course had parents once, and their lack of presence at his side now paints a tragic picture no matter what way you look at it, so the kids got more than a few attachment issues you need to work through. Ghost doesn’t really talk too much, instead relying on gestures and interacting with things around him to talk to you and others - it takes a little bit to get used to if you’re unfamiliar with some of the gestures but it’s easy to pick up as time goes on.

Definitely one of the more well behaved children of the bunch, given that once you’ve convinced him that you’re not abandoning him he’s dead set on making you proud. He gets antsy when you’re not around, spending most of his time at the guild when you're at classes, but he takes to following Agyo around instead during these times. Agyo’s more than a little startled at first, and is a bit awkward about the whole situation as he processes it, but before long Agyo’s not only getting along with your ghostly son, but he’s also teaching him the ‘lion dog duties’ that he’s been teaching you - you’ll never quite forget walking in to Agyo giving the poor kid a detailed rundown on the upkeep of the guildhouse and all that it pertains.

It was supposed to only be the one child, you swear, but damn if you haven’t got a bleeding heart and a knack for attracting trouble. Word travels around fast about your adoption, and as more people learn about your impromptu push to parenthood people start coming to you for help - namely, kids with nowhere else to go. Maybe it’s your bleeding heart or savior complex, but before long one kid becomes two, and then two becomes three, and soon enough you’ve got four kids on your hands.

There’s no denying that things get a little bit rocky when you start taking in other children. Despite the other kids in the guild, Ghost has technically been the only child up to this point, and with your attention shifting from both him and the other children at once it’s a sudden change - one that you thankfully discussed with him first to make sure he was okay. Even with the okay though, Ghost is more than a little anxious when you bring the second child, a nether sprite, ‘home’, especially because of how loud she is by comparison. Nether sprite is an absolute ball of energy and mischievous to boot, so she more than makes for an interesting parallel to the otherwise quiet Ghost you’ve been taking care of the past few months.

She’s a handful, especially during the first few weeks that she’s settling in - it takes her a while to really start seeing the place as home, and even longer for her to even consider you a parental figure (she’s seen you as more of a babysitter till you proved you were willing to stick around and put the effort in to be a good parent). Once she does settle in however she takes to the place quickly, and, to your surprise, your two kids become thick as thieves. The Nether sprite catches on quickly to how Ghost communicates, and given his penchant to linger around those he’s close to and follow them around she’s more than happy to drag him all over the shop from one activity to another - it’s a surprising development but one you actively encourage. Unfortunately as I mentioned she’s still mischievous, though tones it down from anything too troublesome if it’ll cause you too much grief.

However that hasn’t stopped the amount of times you’ve gotten calls from someone about the kind of trouble you two little ones have wound up getting themselves into - looks like they both picked up your knack for getting intentionally and unintentionally dragged into the weirdest events (sure, it’s fun when you do it, but having your kids doing it only serves to give you grey hairs from the stress.) And things only get crazier once the other kids end up coming along, for both better and worse - but that’s a story for another time.

#tokyo afterschool summoners #housamo #housamo mob #housamo ghost #housamo sprite #housamo lantern #housamo nether sprite #request #ask #gzgs222-blog #first post in....hooo boy #a WHILE #i think im a little rusty so please bear with me while i get back on track #i will probably do one for the ciramantep and jiangshi in the future #but for now we got the ghost and the lantern #a fitting combo lmao

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nerdygaymormon · 3 years

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I'm a bit curious about something. What is it that makes "same sex attraction" a problematic /offensive term? Is it the context where it's typically used, or something else?

Being lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) is much more than sexual attraction, it includes emotions, it is how I give and receive love and how I relate to the world and everyone in it, it influences my social standing and interactions. The word gay (or bi or lesbian) is a way of saying this is part of my makeup, part of who I am. This is what is meant by "orientation," which is more than just the actual attractions.

For example, part of being gay or bisexual is we often feel different or stigmatized from others around us who are mostly heterosexual. As they describe life milestones, we recognize that we experience those differently. This is part of the social dimension of being LGB, seeing ourselves as different from straight people

Same sex attraction (SSA) reduces it down to an attraction. Same-sex attraction is spoken of as a flaw, something which is an impairment, a disorder, and can be overcome because these attractions are limiting you.

Gay and lesbian people, however, do not experience their sexual identities as something irregular, but as something natural to themselves. The real struggle is how to express this orientation inside of a religious community which prohibits, fears or denies such orientations.

The term same-sex attraction (SSA) was popularized by the Christian ex-gay movement and that led it to become the preferred term in the Catholic church, Evangelical churches and eventually in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

SSA is primarily used within a faith context, and typically by people who view these attractions as a problem. Consequently, there's a strong association of repression & shame that comes with the term same sex attraction.

The terms gay, lesbian and bi typically means a person has a persistent attraction to people of their own gender as part of their overall constitution. It doesn't indicate whether they've had sexual experiences, or if they interact with & identify with the LGBTQ community, it doesn't indicate their political philosophy or spiritual belief.

Whereas a problem with the use of the term “same-sex attraction" is it implies a lot about the person beyond the attraction of the person who uses it, and if they stop matching those other categories they’ll likely stop using SSA. Plus a term like “same sex attraction” really puts the focus onto the sexual attraction when the goal was to minimize its perceived importance.

Despite everything I've written about SSA, people get to choose the words they want to be identified by. If someone says they experience same sex attraction, then mirror them. Often they're indicating they are loyal to the church, or perhaps they are indicating these attractions are unwanted and they wish they didn't have them.

Someone may "struggle with SSA" in their mind, until they become comfortable with the idea of being gay. I don’t struggle with it anymore. I DID, but I don’t now, and I associate "SSA" with a struggle I no longer identify with.

I have found that once someone is at peace with their own feelings they usually stop referring to themselves as having SSA and simply say they’re gay. I like the label "gay" because we’re happier after we come out and accept this is part of how we experience life.

Trans people often don't like the phrase "same sex attraction" because they feel it excludes or erases them. The word "sex" is used to refer to biological parts. Same-sex attraction indicates an attraction to people with certain parts, and suggests they can't be attracted to masc trans people or fem trans people.

Oh, one more thing, SSA is simply ASS spelled backwards!

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Prior to the 1950's, leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would use the phrase "the sin that dare not speak its name," or occasionally "sodomy." This language emphasized sexuality as a behavior, and indicated it was a choice instead of an expression of orientation.

There was growing concern that these behaviors or "practices" were beginning to infiltrate BYU and the Church, so President McKay assigned Elder Kimball and Elder Peterson to study the topic. As the topic was spoken of more frequently in the Church, the clinical term "homosexuality" was adopted and used from the 1960's to the late 1980's.

Elder Oaks was appointed to the Quorum of the 12 Apostles in the mid-1980's and wrote a memo on how the Church should combat homosexual rights, and part of this was to separate the attractions from the behavior. The 1990's brought the Church into the same sex marriage battles. Same gender attraction and same sex attraction became the preferred terms.

For a time, our church wanted SSA to mean people who “don’t act on” their attractions, and this was used as short hand to mean someone who isn’t sexually active. That meant gay, bi or lesbian was for people who were sexually active. How perverse is that?!! Can you imagine if straight people had to indicate their sexual activity status to everyone when they introduce themselves? Queer people mostly ignored this, and a lot of straight members argued over what people meant by calling themselves a lesbian.

Around the mid-2010's the church said it's okay to identify as lesbian, bi or gay and still be considered a member in good standing, but it still clearly preferred SSA.

President Nelson spoke at BYU in 2019 and one of the notable things about his remarks is using the language of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender while addressing the student body.

It's taken many decades, but it seems our Church is finally reaching the point that the more common terms of the queer community can start be used without stigma and perhaps we'll see the use of SSA fall to obscurity.

#LDS LGBT history #cw reparative therapy #cw homopobia #long post

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blackstonesandtrapnest · 4 years

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Helloaasaa, Aaaa request are open (excited dance) or please, our goddess, could you do? Yami's Fluff Alphabet (๑ ♡ ⌓ ♡ ๑)

Sure I can do that :) Sorry I took so long on this request! It took quite a while to make! I hope you enjoy this Sweet Anon!

Activities (What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?):

The sky's the limit with Atem and he'll do damn near anything with his S/O in his free time! But his favorite activity hands down with his S/O is dueling as one would expect. Nothing makes Atem happier than dueling with or beside his S/O!

Beauty (What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?):

Physically Atem's favorite feature about his S/O is their eyes. They never lie to him and he can see right down to his S/O's soul. Personality wise Atem loves his S/O's tenacity and toughness and admires it to the point of flat-out simping! He thinks it's gorgeous when his fabulous man or woman goes off on someone and doesn't take shit from anyone, not even him!

Comfort (How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?):

Atem's first extinct is to ask his S/O what's wrong but he's smart enough to know that it only makes things worse. Instead he'll immediately rush to his S/O's side and start holding them, not even speaking unless he deems it necessary. Actions speak louder than words after all. If Atem's S/O is having a panic attack, he immediately knows what to do since he has many friends who suffer from anxiety.

Dreams (How do they picture their future with their s/o?):

This is something that Atem won't think about unless you ask. He prefers to live in the present and is just trying to get through what's happening right at the moment. Not to say that Atem doesn't picture a future with you at all but he just doesn't see the utter importance of it.

Equal (Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?):

Atem likes to think that he's the dominant one in the relationship when in actuality, it's a pretty even split. But there are times when Atem will have to give or take more and vice versa which he has no issue with.

Fight (Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?):

Fights with Atem are definitely gonna happen whether you want them to or not. Atem has pride for days and he can be a total prick at times so he needs someone who doesn't hesitate to put him in his place. Atem's way of fighting is playing the long game. He will NOT back down and he WILL push your buttons to the max! Atem isn't as merciless as he once was so he is definitely willing to forgive his S/O unless the fight was about something severe. In that case, Atem is gonna need some time before he can even think about making up with his S/O.

Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?):

Atem may seem like a brat but he's eternally grateful for everything that his S/O does for him and is fully aware of said things. Atem hates being taken for granted and he wouldn't dare dream of doing the same to his S/O!

Honesty (Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?):

Atem is pretty reserved so yes he does have secrets. He especially has a lot of skeleton booty in the closet but that's probably the only thing that he'll share with his S/O.....if they ask. Atem's reserved nature comes with one that values privacy. He keeps his cards close to his chest and finds it quite fun to be mysterious and hard to figure out.

Inspiration (Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?):

Atem has definitely changed since getting with his S/O! One of the main ways is that he's learned to pick his battles and to sometimes accept the loss and move on. Atem's commitment and trust issues have also been overcome and he's become more grounded and less fickle as a result.

Jealousy (Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?):

As hypocritical as it may seem, yes Atem does get jealous and he can be childish when dealing with it. Being the former player that he was before getting with his S/O, he's no fool when it comes to how other people can be when it comes to relationships. Game recognize game! If you can't avoid the person that Atem is jealous of, then he'll make your relationship known using PDA that he normally wouldn't do. Under normal circumstances, Atem will make his jealousy known and if you call him out on his hypocrisy, prepare yourself for an argument! A jealous pharaoh is not a good pharaoh!

Kiss (Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?):

Of course Atem is a good kisser! He's had lots of practice over the past 5000+ years after all! His first kiss with his S/O was romantic and passionate and it happened in the rain which made for an excellent atmosphere!

Love Confession (How would they confess to their s/o?):

Atem would talk to you in private and he would just be honest and upfront about how he feels before asking you out on a date. Short, sweet, and to the point!

Marriage (Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?):

Atem acts like he doesn't wanna get married but he does. Deep down inside, he truly does. He just denies it because of past heartbreak. Once Atem knows for certain that he wants to marry you (which will definitely take a few years), he'll propose to you in front of thousands of people after he wins a big dueling tournament and of course the crowd (and the paparazzi) will go wild! Your marriage with Atem will be one hell of an adventure and it'll have many ups and downs but it'll all be worth it in the end because Atem will treat you like the King/Queen you are!

Nicknames (What do they call their s/o?):

Atem's most common nickname for his S/O is "My King/Queen". Atem will also shorten your name if he can to make things more personal between you two. Other nicknames Atem likes to use will be Honey, Darling, and Sweetheart.

On Cloud Nine (What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?):

Atem's behavior when he's in love starts to change pretty quickly so it's obvious to people who know him. He changes his phone and computer wallpaper to a picture of you, he has your number in his phone as " My King/Queen", and he's 100% loyal to you! No flirting with other people and he rejects any and all offers for dates/flings. Atem's love language is Acts Of Service so he expresses his feelings by doing things for his S/O and sacrificing his time to do said things. To him, actions speak louder than words and he wants to make his feelings for you as clear as possible.

PDA (Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?):

Atem is very upfront about the relationship but only in a subtle way. He doesn't like drawing unneccesary attention to himself and he doesn't wanna embarrass his S/O either. Atem will only share info about his S/O if they want him to. He prefers to be more verbal when it comes to PDA. His physical affection in public isn't much but it speaks volumes. The most he'll do is wrap his arms around you and give you lingering kisses on your cheek and neck. Hugs and kisses are only reserved for hellos and goodbyes.

Quirk (Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.):

Being 5,000+ years old gives Atem a lot of intelligence so if you wanna know things about various times in history, he's got your back! He also knows lots of random trivia and is very good at game shows like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

Romance (How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?):

Atem is definitely a romantic guy and he'll pull out all the stops to make his S/O happy! He's pretty cliche when it comes to romance. Candlelit dinners, roses, walks on the beach, the works! Atem tries to be creative but in the end, the tried and true methods work for him much better!

Support (Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?):

Move over Tea! Atem's the #1 cheerleader in this bitch! Whatever your goals are, he'll support you and make sure you achieve them no matter how long it takes! He believes in you to the fullest and he wants you to be the best version of yourself!

Thrill (Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?):

Atem lives for the thrill! Without it, your relationship with him is doomed. Atem gets bored easily so he's always looking for ways to spice things up between you two and he would appreciate it if you do the same as well. Variety is the spice of life and Atem wants to live it to the fullest with his S/O!

Understanding (How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?):

Atem tries to know his partner the best he can but there are times when he'll fall short and misunderstandings will be had. This is where communication comes in. As long as you explain yourself to Atem, he'll be quite empathetic and understanding, especially if he's been through the same thing himself.

Value (How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?):

Atem's relationship with his S/O definitely means a lot to him but that doesn't mean he's willing to give up everything he's ever known to be with you. Yes Atem will give up his player days and be 100% faithful to you but that's the biggest change you'll get. Atem's not giving up anything else that makes him happy. Your relationship is worth a lot to him but he's not an idiot and tries to balance things as much as possible so his priorities are kept straight.

Wild Card (A random Fluff Headcanon.):

Atem likes it when he and his S/O wear similar or even matching clothing. Especially if it's spiky and/or leather-based! He wants his S/O to always look good!

XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?):

Atem loves affection especially in private! You'll definitely be getting many kisses and cuddles from him! Atem prefers physical over verbal affection but he'll deliver the latter just as well. He knows how to lay on the charm and make his S/O feel like the most important person in the world with the sweet words flowing out of his mouth!

Yearning (How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?):

If Atem has to be away from you for a long period of time, he'll definitely miss you but he's not gonna die without you. He'll keep in steady contact with you but he won't smother you either. Atem respects his S/O's space and doesn't want them to feel that way.

Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?):

It may not seem like it but Atem is a true ride or die kind of guy! He'll do anything for the sake of your relationship and for your sake in general! To give an example of what kind of lengths Atem would go to for you, if you're ever down on your luck in any kind of way, he'll literally give you his entire savings account if it would save you from financial ruin! That's just how loyal Atem is to you! Just don't take it for granted or you'll regret it!

#Yu-Gi-Oh #yugioh #yami yugi #Atem #atem headcanons #yami yugi headcanons #fluff alphabet #alphabet headcanons #yugioh headcanons #answering lalala

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oliveiraveiro · 4 years

Text

The Next Chapter, Part 1

Open Heart, Rafael Aveiro x MC (Reader)

The next night after Rafael told you he’s leaving town, he says his goodbye to you over dinner. The night goes well until you find out that his flight is scheduled the next day. Will you be able to convince him to stay? Or will he really leave you and Boston behind for good?

w // mature with no actual smut yet, swearing

word count: 2549

ao3 link feel free to download and change {Name} to your name, and sora’s {she} and {her} pronouns if applicable.

note: the summary sounds pretty angsty, but I promise this fic is gonna be rafael stans friendly. pb’s already giving us and raf a horrible treatment, I won’t do that to you legends xx let me know if you wanna be tagged when I post the second part that I still haven’t written!!!

After yet another long day at work, you are finally heading home.

You stayed about an hour past the end of your shift, but it doesn’t matter now that you’re making your way out the doors of Edenbrook. Wrapping your arms around yourself as the cold air of Boston greeted you, you let out a soft sigh, focused on getting into the subway to finally get home.

You don’t notice Rafael until he called out your name for the third time.

“Hey,” he greets as he finally catches up with you. “You mad at me or something?” he teases.

You give him a small smile. “You still leaving me behind? If so, then maybe a little.”

He laughs softly, eyes twinkling, seemingly happier now that he was with you. “I actually came to say goodbye to you guys. I mean, aside from signing paperwork and all that, but yeah.”

You feel a sting in your heart, remembering that he is really is leaving town, but you try to quickly hide your emotions. You swallow the forming lump in your throat. “Oh, Raf, I’m sorry but I’m afraid you missed the rest of the guys. I’m still here only because I had to finish something up with the team…”

“Yeah, I know, I talked to them earlier already.” he admits, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m actually waiting for you.”

Your eyes soften as you stare up at Rafael. Despite your feelings about him leaving Boston, you find yourself genuinely smiling at him. “I’m here now and all yours.”

…Really? Your heart skips a beat at what you just said. Real subtle.

But his eyes only seem to light up again. “Perfect. You up for some local food tonight?” Rafael asks. “Let’s hit the street markets. For old time’s sake and one last time. For at least a while.” He quickly adds before you can react.

You don’t hesitate to nod. “This is a trick question, right? When did I ever refuse Antonia’s jerk?”

You and Rafael make your way to the local markets, and soon enough you are seated with him in a table, an assortment of food and drinks in front of you.

You tell him about your day at work, mainly about the senator and Kyra, and he tells you about his conversation with his boss.

“Honestly, I think she’s convinced I’m leaving because of the suspension. I spent about half an hour telling her otherwise, and that is after already telling her the reason why. I’m not even kidding.”

You laugh gently, shaking your head. “That being the reason makes sense though, doesn’t it?” You sneak a glance at him before taking a sip of your drink. “Actually, why are you leaving?”

“I already told you, {Name}. I… I wanna see the world. I’ve never lived anywhere but Boston. I just realized maybe it’s time to finally change that.” Rafael explains, no smile on his lips anymore.

“And that realization just came out of nowhere?”

“…No. I guess maybe it is about my suspension. It’s just been a tough couple of months for me too, you know? I’m lacking purpose, and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Leaving town… it feels right. I feel like I can start doing something new, something that matters.”

“But you’re already doing something important here, Raf, that goes beyond your job as a paramedic. You’re helping your people, giving back the best way you know how. Not to mention how much you love your community. So, is leaving really the answer?”

You are facing him this time, and Rafael holds your gaze although he doesn’t answer. He sighs softly, swallowing, biting down on his lip.

“I’m getting your point. I promise I’m on your side, Raf. But a move this big? As your friend I have to make sure you’re considering all sides to this.” You continue, then bite your tongue at that word. Friend.

You feel your heart clench, and even more at your following question. “What did Sora even say about this? {She} must know how much you love Boston.” You tried to casually ask, playing it cool like you’re not dying to know if {she}’s coming with.

“{She}’s, um, excited, actually.” Rafael answers with uncertainty, not wanting you to feel awkward. “But only because {she} already did this, you know? The big move. {She}’s also surprised with my decision, and quite unhappy about it, {she} made sure to let me know that.”

You nod. Of course, {she} would be supporting him leaving the city. You’re unsure why you thought {she}’d be with you in this. You know by now that you and Sora are close to opposites.

“You guys didn’t break up or anything, did you?” You ask, needing to look away because he can’t see the hint of hope in your eyes. You finish the last of your food as you waited for his answer.

“Not exactly… It’s not—{she}’s not upset about that.” Rafael plays with his bottom lip between his teeth.

“You didn’t exactly break up?” You asked again, confused. “What is {she} upset about?”

“We already ended things about a month ago, I think?”

You gape a little as you faced him again. You can’t deny feeling hopeful, but still, a month? “Why am I just knowing about this? You didn’t…” You trail off, eyes saddening.

“I just know you’ve been very busy, {Name}. Not only with the diagnostics team, but with doing what you can to save Edenbrook. You already have so much on your plate that I just didn’t want to bother—”

“Raf, please, you know I’ll always have time for you. I’m here right now, am I not?” You interrupt him, eyebrows furrowed.

He only gives you a sheepish smile, but then he turns serious again, guilt flashing in his eyes. He frowns as he looks away. “I’m leaving tomorrow, {Name}.”

Yet another bombshell. “That’s... that’s so soon, Raf. Why…” You trail off, needing to take a deep breath. In an instant, you know you’re feeling anger in your chest. “I don’t understand. You keep on saying that this feels right, but it seems to me that you’re running away from something.”

“{Name}…”

“Tell me I’m wrong then, Rafael. Tell me you’re not rushing to fly out of Boston. Tell me you’re not trying to get away from something.” You dare him, unaware that you’re clenching your fist, too upset.

You’re not sure where this anger is coming from. You know for a fact that he doesn’t owe you anything– at least not anymore– and that you have no right to be upset. But goddammit he’s leaving and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re mad at yourself, you’re mad at the world.

Rafael clenches his jaw, but he looks at you with soft eyes, almost begging. For what, you’re unsure.

“You’re not even going to lie? Tell me that you are sure and that you’re not just being a coward?” You laugh dryly. “Of course not. You’re always honest, aren’t you?”

“{Name}, please, sit down.” He tries to coax you, but it only made you grab your things faster and get up on your feet quickly.

“You wanted to say goodbye, you said it. Goodbye, Rafael. I wish the best for you, I truly do. And I hope that whatever it is you’re trying to leave behind gives up the chase.” You look into his eyes as you speak, sincere, but there’s no hiding the thousand other emotions you are feeling right now.

Rafael sees them all, and so he follows you, but you’re much faster, resorting to running just to get away from him. It’s funny how you were giving him shit for running away, but here you are, literally doing so. He catches up with you only when you’re already out of the food hall and further down the almost empty street.

You only realize that you’re walking further instead of towards your apartment when he grabs your arm. You’re actually closer to his street instead. You curse in your mind, trying to get away from his hold.

“What the hell, {Name}?” Rafael says, but he loosens his hand around your arm. Once he sees you’re trying to catch your breath from running, he lets you go. “What is up with you?”

“I just…wanna go home.” You say out of breath.

“By walking the opposite way? Actually, excuse me, by running away, like what you claim I am doing.” He gives you a pointed look.

You hold up your index finger, gesturing for him to hold on, then you turn, starting to walk away in the opposite direction.

“Are you—” He quickly runs after you, grabbing your arm again. “{Name}, please. I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”

“If it isn’t obvious yet, Raf, I’m upset.”

“Why, because I’m leaving? Can’t you see that I’m putting myself first for once? I swear I imagined you’d be proud of me. Aren’t you always the one always pushing me to pursue what I really wanted?”

“You breaking up with me, Raf, despite what I felt, what I strongly felt and still feel about you, that is you putting yourself first. This? Don’t pretend this is the same. Don’t pretend that by leaving you’re doing what’s right and that you’re not trying to avoid a problem! Please, just let me go, I don’t think we still have something to talk about.” You raise your voice, breaths still heavy.

Rafael looks taken aback, and you instantly feel guilty, but he slowly lets your arm go again so you take the chance to take a few steps away. He thankfully doesn’t follow, and you thought you’d be able to finally go, but you freeze the moment you realize what you just said.

You blush deeply, slowly facing him again. “Also... also with your breakup with Sora.” You try to add, but only flushing more as you’re unsure who ended the relationship. “If you… I mean, if you broke up with her. If she broke up with you, obviously, she put herself first. Unless it was a mutual decision, of course. In that case you both are putting each other…” You trail off as Rafael made his way towards you again.

You’re not running anymore, so you’re confused why he is doing so towards you. “What—” After watching the big guy make his way to you, the next thing you know is that his lips are on yours. Your eyes are wide the moment your mouths meet, but as he started kissing you, god it feels so good and it feels like home, that you had no choice but to kiss him back.

He grabs your hips and pulls your body closer to him as his tongue slips past your mouth, and you moan into his. You wrap your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.

Somehow, him leaving is far from both your minds now. The fact that you’re not together anymore? It’s as if it’s long forgotten. You were skeptical when he said that leaving ‘feels right’, because how the hell does feeling right feels? But now that you’re kissing him, you’re sure that this is what feels right. Right and perfect, like your lips and his are meant to always meet like this.

Much to your dismay, he starts to pull away after a long moment. But he only grabs your face this time, obviously catching his breath. You start to laugh softly, but he only kisses you again, even more hungrily. You kiss him back, humming into his mouth, but you pull away again, taking his hand leading him into an alley.

His eyes darken as soon as he realized where you’re going, but he tugs your hand to stop you. “I… god, I want to, {Name}. But it’s been so long. I can’t make love to you in some random alleyway.”

You feel your heart flutter and you can’t help your giddy smile, but you tease him, trailing your finger on his chest through his shirt. “You sure?” You smile slyly. “We crossed off dancing under the street lamps. How about fucking—”

Before you can finish, his lips are on yours again, devouring your mouth. You feel just how much he truly wants you, and you admire how he’s able to resist your offer because you’re more than ready to jump him here and now. “My house. Now.” He commands, and you don’t dare suggesting otherwise after that.

You reach his house not long after, and you were glad to see no trace of Sora behind. You half-expected to see a shirt or shoes lying around that’s evidently smaller than Rafael’s size.

When you got to his bedroom, it was obvious you were looking around. You tried to observe what changed, or if there’s anything out of the ordinary. Before you can overthink the pile of clothes neatly folded and oddly placed on his study table, you feel him wrap his arms around you from behind.

“We didn’t, {Name}.” He says softly near your ear, kissing your temple.

“You mean, not here? {Her} house?” You move your head to the side a little, looking back at him.

“Not ever. One of the many reasons why she broke up with me.” He clarifies.

You almost feel guilty that it made you glad, but his hands rubbing your sides feels amazing and it only ignites your desire for him more. “Mm. Then I’m happy to let you know I didn’t have any rebound sex with anyone either.” You grin, taking his hand, leading him to the bed.

Laughing gently behind you, he carries you in his arms bridal style, only to throw you onto the bed on your back.

“I’m having amazing flashbacks.” You grin, taking off your shirt before moving up more on the bed, tugging off your jeans, and he helps you take it off completely.

He gives himself a moment to stare at you in your underwear, swallowing, the dark look back in his eyes. He quickly takes off his jacket and his shirt, climbing on top of you.

You kiss him again, slower this time, but somehow much more intensely.

He breathes your name against your mouth, and he kisses down your jaw and neck.

“You feel it too, Raf?” You ask softly, tilting your head to the side to give him more access to your neck, moaning softly at the feel of his hot mouth and lips against your skin. “Like you’re right where you’re supposed to be?”

“In your arms? Yes.” He doesn’t hesitate to answer, pulling away a little so he can look into your eyes, smiling, wider than you have ever seen him do in the past months. Just like before, when you were still together, you realize.

You feel a rush of excitement, and you take his face in your hands, kissing him again. When you pull away you literally had to bite your tongue so you don’t tell him you love him here and now.

You take a deep breath, running your fingers through his hair, making him meet your gaze again. “Then stay.” You tell him softly, almost in a whisper.

“{Name}…” His eyes soften.

“Stay, Rafael. Stay with me.”

#choices open heart #open heart #open heart second year #open heart book 2 #open heart fanfiction #rafael aveiro #rafael aveiro x mc #rafael x mc #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices

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callme--starchild · 5 years

Text

Auntie Goldie

Summary: Unca' Scrooge has a girlfriend! And Donald couldn't be happier for that.

Donald didn't think there were ducks the same or more rich and more amazing than his dear Unca' Scrooge, he thought sucking his thumb like any four-year-old kid would. But there he was, in a ball dedicated to the most powerful people in Duckburg.

Even if they weren't as amazing as his uncle.

Even so, being surrounded, the boy felt intimidated by so many unknown presences, and curled up in the old duck's chest, wrapping in his heartbeat like a lullaby.

"Ah wan' ta go ta th' m'or, Unca' Scrooge" babbled as he could, despite the finger in his bill and his partially distorted voice.

Even so, his caregiver seemed to understand the communicated message, and gave him a smile scooping him on his arm, holding the cane with his free hand as he continued to enter the Club, not worrying if the duckling's little hands wrinkled his deeply ironed suit.

"Dinnae worry, Donnie. Yer unkie jus' needs tae find new entrepreneurs t' socialize wit'. We willnae be here long. Besides, ye look absolutely charming in yer suit," adding, he tickled his nephew's belly, satisfied with the giggle that caused on him and dispelled his fear.

Of course, he was no longer Donald's Papa, constant visits and talks by Hortense made the infant perceive the genealogical difference between Quackmore and Scrooge; but that did not disturb the strong affection that the old Scotsman had since then.

"Besides, Ah'll be with ye all th' time. Who knows wha' yer mother would do with Unca' Scrooge if something will happen t' ye," for a few seconds he thought of joking, playfully saying that his sister would kill him if she knew that her son was injured in the care of the old duck; but he considered it knowing that this would not be the right vocabulary for a wee child.

Besides that he also didn't want to consider the possibility of the lad getting hurt. Much less being in his care.

Donald pulled his thumb from his bill at his uncle's words, giving him a smile despite the saliva that ran through his finger.

"But Ah know ye will never let anything happen to me, Unca' Scrooge. Ye're tougher than toughies after all!" With clear pride, Donald exclaimed raising a finger skyward.

Suffice it to cause a warm smile in the elder, taking with little problematic a handkerchief from the pocket of his coat to clean the nephew's salivated hand.

"That's right, Donald. And smarter than the smarties, just like ye." Finishing to clean his hand, he winked at his, self-satisfied with the smile the younger one was sketching.

After reassuring the little duckling, he firmly held his cane again and continued to enter the Gala of the Billionaire Club, saluting the millionaires he already knew.

He tried not to smile and remain stoic when Donald innocently corresponded to the greeting with a gesture and a bright look, keeping the manners learned in his short period of life.

He continued to avoid the aristocracy, furtively analyzing the face of each of them until the buffet began to glimpse, perceiving how almost immediately the child extends both hands, trying to take each snack despite the obvious distance.

"Are ye hungry? But if we ate before coming." Scrooge laughed softly, holding Donald and putting his other hand on his chest feeling his heartbeat. He finally reached the huge table and lowered the duck at his feet. "Whatever ye do, dinnae get away from Unkie Scrooge, awricht?"

He soon felt the little arms of his nephew circling one of his legs, feeling him bounce excited while trying to stand.

Wow, he was too elusive to be in the middle stage of walking, but fortunately he was just as obedient. Scrooge couldn't help a smile at it.

However, while searching for something suitable for an infant, he wondered why he had not brought the chopped fruit. As he mentioned, they had eaten something before they left for the gala, and had not considered carrying the huge duffel bag because they would not be there for a long time and would not need it.

He had clearly forgotten that he was dealing with the stomach of a four-year-old duckling.

"Do ye want a cookie, Donnie?" Looking at the boy, he took a considerable amount of the snack.

Donald nodded almost immediately.

"So soon you go to the buffet, Scrooge?" At that moment, a female voice interrupted the duck in his movements, and the youngest one clung more to the leg of his caregiver, hiding in him and at the same time wanting to protect the older.

After all, with all the riches and amazement that defined his unca', he would not be surprised if there were no good people who would try to take it away from him as happened in the stories Mama told him.

His very short stature allowing him not to see the funny smile that the Scottish's face adopted.

"Do ye appear here soon, Goldie?" Hidden in the old duck's back, Donald was baffled by the unnoticed confidence in his voice; that did not allow him to lower his guard or release his leg, though. "What did ye find during me absence?

Standing on tiptoe, he tried to see the face of the person who dared to approach his uncle, being intercepted by the table that looked immense in his eyes.

Goldie's name sounded terribly familiar to him, but he couldn't identify from where. Nor could he dare to speak to his uncle and risk interrupting his conversation. It would be a lack of education, and Donald Fauntleroy Duck was anything but a ill-mannered boy.

"Don't get excited, Scroogey," however, the ease in the other voice took him off guard when they referred to his uncle in that way. And if it weren't for the timbre of voice and that unknown touch that put Uncle Scrooge's feathers on end, he would have thought it was Mommy who they were dealing with. "I haven't been much longer than you, really. And answering your question, I would say no, these rich men didn't bring anything interesting tonight; fortunately, I just found something really valuable."

For some strange reason, the boy felt his caregiver's body shudder, his hiding place and attachment denying him the sighting of the plumage of his cheeks red-tinted.

"Answering yer question equally, dear Goldie, Ah woold dare tae say tha' Ah came t' see ye." Incredulous, Donald looked at the elder. A confident expression seemed to invade his features, watching as he slowly seemed to soften discreetly. "Sadly, me young chaperon seemed to get ahead."

Subsequently, he felt Uncle Scrooge's hand ruffling his hair feathers, taking the cookies stretched a little hesitantly. He heard the woman sigh in surprise before he could bite the first one.

"Young chaperone?" Listening to the small tapping of heels against the floor on the soft, slow music, Donald got even more attached to his uncle's leg, feeling his own trembling slightly, not sure if it was because of someone they faced or his little dominance in walking.

But whoever it is, he would not fear defending his beloved favorite adventurous uncle. The adventure was in him since he was born under the McDuck legacy, and it would not take long to prove it to protect him.

Donald was not afraid of anyone, not even—

An elegant duck dressed in a beautiful white dress. Her blond hair, beautifully neat in a way that looked strange to him, completely bathed in a varied but beautiful selection of precious gemstones that did not compete with his mother's, shone in the great hall in such a way that he questioned how he did not distinguish her when he was in his uncle's arms—maybe, he supposed, it was because he was more focused on talking to him.

He thought he saw her green eyes wide when he felt her gaze on him.

"...Oh," she seemed to have noticed something, something he couldn't identify while holding on to Scrooge. "Who is this cute young man?"

But perceiving the discreet amount of gold that ran through her jewelry, a skill that still required improvement, added to the beauty that came off in her simple presence, Donald recalled some of the stories that Unca' tells him before he slept.

Among all the gold hunts, amazing adventures and impressive discoveries, the blurry story of, Klike?, Klondike?, yes, K’ndikay, became present.

And in it, the image of a blondie duck that accompanied and betrayed his uncle over and over again slowly became clear.

But it couldn't be her, could it?

"This laddie? Oh, he's me lovely nephew, Donald." Soon, he saw himself again in his uncle's arms, and settled down to keep listening to his heartbeat, stopping to eat his cookie when he perceived it faster than usual. "And dinnae be fooled. He may seem like the most adorable duckling in the world, but this little imp is a whole bit."

Involuntarily, Scrooge thought about the occasion in which Della at her two years had plotted to make a joke by dressing, acting and even speaking exactly like her brother, and how it took all afternoon in which he took care of them to distinguish one from the other.

Or how they helped each other to throw or hide the vegetables they should ate, or sneaked into the kitchen, managing to avoid even Duckworth to reach the vase of cookies in the highest cabinet, being discovered and reprimanded when the elders gave with the wasted food or they accidentally broke the vase.

And how to forget the occasion when he had to improvise an adventure in the manor when both, at age three, had hidden to avoid a visit to the doctor that involved the application of an injection? Their hiding place was discovered thanks to a sneeze and the consequent Della's reprimand. They had cried a lot, and had not spoken to him for weeks until the strong love they had made them beg for apology.

Unfortunately, Della was prey to a chicken pox, which is why he was commissioned only with the youngest twin while the female duckling was recovering; that perhaps prevented them from making a mischief during the evening, but that made them look incomplete.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Donald," the boy said nothing at the older woman's forced tone, shaking his opposite hand hesitantly at his uncle's watchful eye, "I'm Goldie O'Glit."

A few seconds passed.

Goldie... O’Glit? The name rang in a loop, and Donald had to see for not suffering a outburst that made him look like a bad duck.

Of course it sounded familiar!

"Is she the friend, Unca'?" He inquired with a glow of curiosity in his gaze, looking at his uncle as he pointed to the woman in front of them.

Not knowing the reason why his dear unca's face turned red and nervous, as well as the small laugh that evoked the elegant duck.

Scrooge smiled broadly, laughing nervously.

"Children, huh? They have a great imagination," the old Scotsman said awkwardly, unsatisfied with the amused smile on Goldie's face.

"Yes, it seems so." Goldie rolled her eyes while still smiling slyly, sensing the peculiar way in which he stopped his hand on the duck's head, stirring the hair feathers with such familiarity and warmth that she didn't think she would see in Scrooge McDuck.

Inquisitive, Donald looked at his uncle again, tilting his head in confusion. He admitted to having an overactive imagination, especially when he was with his sister, but he wasn't sure that the facts of his Unca's stories were a product of his mind.

Unless he wanted to express in the kindergarten how much he admired his uncle, and how fascinating it was to have him in his life despite spending most of his time working in his studio, going out to work more in the money bin or counting his vast amount of money.

"But Unca' Scrooge..." but on that occasion it wasn't like that, and he was sure.

Being interrupted again by Scrooge.

"Wha's up, Donald? Do ye wan' tae go tae th' bathroom?" What? The duckling was wondering, looking at the old Scottish man, finally perceiving his nervous expression and colored feathers. Donald sighed in surprise. "If ye'll excuse us, Goldie, Ah have work tae do."

Excusing nervously, Scrooge withdrew from the buffet feeling how slowly the knot in the pit of his stomach was falling apart, sighing with relief.

For the next gala he would remember to bring his nephew's food, or minimally small zyploc bags in which he would carry the food he could, he thought as he headed to the bathrooms at the watchful eye of his ex-partner, determined to keep his facade…

"Is she yer girlfriend, Unca' Scrooge?"

Stopping abruptly in his footsteps to observe the curiosity in the glow of his wee Donald's eyes as he slowly chewed a cookie.

"W-What?" He repeated. And no, he hadn't stuttered or got nervous, thank you very much.

Much less, his behavior had attracted more attention of the child.

"Do ye wants that lady the same way Daddy wants Mommy?" He smiled, and Scrooge could not identify whether that innocence was false or not. "Because Daddy sometimes gets like this when Mommy is near."

The old duck cleared his throat, suddenly feeling his throat dry and his sweaty brow.

"No, no, Donnie. Yer tough uncle dinnae wan' that lady the same way..."

"But she was pretty!" And ye seemed to get along very well." Scrooge rolled his eyes, recognizing that Donald was still too young, innocent and gullible to understand the complex relationship between Goldie and him, "can Ah call her Auntie Goldie?"

Despite the shock, his reflexes were equally fast, and he knew how to react when his grip on the duckling loosened.

Well, now he was playing with him; Scrooge already recognized the false innocent smile on his nephew's face when he was plotting something.

"Wha'? Nae!" Having to fight against his willpower so as not to redden more than he already was to satisfy the wee one, he stared at his satisfied expression behind that plump pretty face. "Donald Duck, there is nothing between Goldie and me; so ye can forget the idea of calling her yer aunt."

Having to wait a few seconds to appreciate how his nephew's teasing expression slowly became a pout that made him look more adorable than he already was.

"Oh, phooey." In an attempt to snap his finger, his uncle didn't see when he got sad.

"Donald, language," of course, he was sure that the expression was created in a moment of boredom, but something told him he didn't want to know the meaning of it.

Until the duck's gaze shone again, and he smiled for a moment.

Scrooge did not see how the duck's face changed consecutively from a pout, to that cheerful expression and how, finally, he made the brightest look he could in a vain attempt to cry.

"But..." His voice was more unintelligible than usual, and he continued when he felt his uncle's gaze on him, "in a moment Ah will have to grow up, Unca' Scrooge."

Thought that, quite honestly, the Scotsman didn't even want to think. If an adventure offered him the possibility of finding an artifact that would allow him to keep his baby like a baby forever, he would accept it without hesitation.

"Ah wooldn't want to leave ye alone when that happened, but what if Ah did? Ah would like to leave ye with someone who loved you as much as I... maybe not so much" sobbing, he snatched the buttoned shirt of Scrooge with his cookie-free hand, and hid his face in small sobs.

And the old duck didn't know what to do or say when his nephew looked at him with puppy eyes and threads of tears running down his cheeks.

He sigh heavily, leaning his back against a nearby wall, leaning his cane to the side, to affectionately disarray Donald's hair feathers.

"Donald, m'boy, Ah willnae be alone," as he expected, his nephew looked at him with a trembling beak, waiting for an explanation, and smiled sweetly, wiping his cheeks with his thumb and forefinger. What did it matter if someone saw him acting so fatherly? Anyone would expect to see that with an lovable bairn in his arms. "Ah will have all me money..."

But that's something material, unca', and mommy says family is the most important thing."

Of course, Hortense would say that, Scrooge thought seeing the boy's confused expression, smiling before approaching and planting loud kisses on his face.

"But ye will always be me family, Donnie. Della, Hortense, Quackmore, yer Auntie Matilda, even yer cousin Gladstone" he tried not to laugh at the pout created by the boy at the mention of the goose following the strange resentment that enveloped the luck of both bairns. "Regardless of distance, time, or circumstances, we will continue to be family."

"Ah know, Ah know, but..."

"Besides, I know that this heart is so big not to leave this old duck on his own." Of course, he considered himself more than capable of taking care of himself from minor threats like Glomgold or the Beagle Boys, but feeling Donald's steady heartbeat as he stabilizes, he acknowledged being right.

Now he understood why the wee child loved to feel his.

Meanwhile, the young duck could not help smiling in shock. He had waited for the right moment to ask his uncle about the alleged marriage to Goldie, waiting for his replies about the so-called crocodile tears that Della and he had used so many times.

But he had obtained something better.

Unca' Scrooge does not usually speak with him so sincerely and familiarly, considering unnecessary feelings for business, which made him cherish the occasions when he looked like someone else.

Then there won't be Auntie Goldie?" Trying to sound disappointed, he stopped his hand over Scrooge's. The smile at his bill was what gave him away, though.

"There willnae be Auntie Goldie," he carried his nephew on his hip and took his cane again. "And if ye excuse me, laddie, this unca' needs tae go tae the bathroom and refuses tae leave his nephew alone."

He heard the duckling snort and eat the last cookie.

#donald spoke Scottish Gaelic #teamuncleweek2019 #donald duck #scrooge mcduck #goldie o'glit #teasing is not my thing #implied scroldie #donald is a very proud kid #and he loves so much his unca'#headcanon

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sweetnestor · 5 years

Text

this is not a dream #7 | i don’t like you

the real reason ethan was taken under the teamiplier wing | teamiplier/ego au

WARNINGS: suicide, murder, blood, self harm, drug abuse, alcoholism, sex addiction

read at your own risk.

previous.

~January 2017

There were many, many wires. It was practically second nature for Ethan to feel the urge to strangle himself with all of them. But he was actually being watched this time. He was going to be watched the whole night, and hopefully something logical will come out of his disturbing sleep habits.

He had been putting this off for months for various reasons, one of them being that he was very busy. Another reason was that his sleep was so disturbed and spotty that he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the cause of it. He also didn’t want any of his friends knowing that he was here, and it was hard to shake them off these days.

But now Ethan was here, lying in a bed, surrounded by machines, and hooked up to practically all of them. The specialist was a lady who had streaks of color in her hair. She had been very thorough with explaining everything that would go down tonight. Ethan paid attention to less than half of what she had said. The wires attached to different parts of his body would determine what exactly he does in his sleep. That was the gist of it, right?

The only problem was that Ethan had walked into the clinic feeling the least tired he had ever felt. He looked up at the white ceiling, waiting for sleep to come. Then he picked his head up and looked through the window on the opposite end of the room. The colorful haired lady was on the other side, writing something on a notepad, not paying any attention to her patient.

Ethan returned to staring at the ceiling. He exhaled slowly and closed his eyes. As soon as they were shut, he felt moisture in the corners of his eyes, trickling down his face. He tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't. Was he asleep already?

He could still feel his surroundings. He was still laying down on the bed. There were wires still attached to his head, chest, and arms. He could feel goosebumps on his skin as the room got ten degrees colder. Oh no…

Suddenly, Ethan could see the room. The colorful haired specialist was still on the other side of the glass except… she was glitching? One flash was her just sitting and staring, then she was limp in the chair with her neck split open and her eyes burned out of her skull. It made Ethan actually vomit, except he couldn't open his mouth, so he choked.

He tried to move, but the wires felt like restraints. His body was stuck to the bed. Not only that, the mumbling was starting to return, just behind his ears.

No, please…

Coughs finally came out, and Ethan was sick all over himself. Dark red stained blood his skin and his white hospital gown. He still couldn't move, despite how repulsive and absolutely disgusting everything was. He just wanted to get out of his own skin.

Good idea.

No!

It started at the bottom of his feet. Searing pain was moving right underneath his skin. Ethan couldn't scream out loud or cry for help. He internally yelled at himself that none of this was real. It's all in his head.

Of course it's happening in your head, but why should that mean that it's not real?

The mumbling was getting louder. The skin was getting ripped off his legs, slowly moving up his body. It was unbearable, Ethan wanted to strangle himself with the wires. He wanted to inject something into his chest to make it all stop. He would much rather cut into his veins again.

And then it happened. Ethan was staring up at the white ceiling, and he felt a thousand white hot needles poke into his arms at once. He screamed, but no one heard him. He coughed up more blood, he choked and sputtered. He could feel someone standing over him, their face slowly coming into his line of vision. The vision flashed so quickly that Ethan couldn’t make out any facial features.

Make it stop. Please just make it stop. I'll do anything, I just want this to be over.

“Alright, Mr. Nestor, you're all set to go,” said a kind female voice.

Ethan's eyes opened. Of course that had all been a dream. He felt the specialist remove all of the wires from his body. He kept his eyes away from her, not wanting to be reminded of her burnt out eyes.

“How long was I out?” he asked, his voice raspy.

“The whole eight hours,” she replied as she removed the last of the wires. “You were perfectly still and undisturbed throughout the night. We'll give you a call as soon as we see the results.”

Ethan left the clinic feeling completely unrested and shaken up. He could still barely make out the mumbling in his ears and it made him even more uneasy. This wasn't a medical problem after all. There wasn't a logical explanation for this.

He got into his car and just sat there for a moment. He felt strange. Confused. Very out of place. His reflection in the rear view mirror was in his peripherals, but he didn’t dare look at his own face. His skin was crawling so much he scratched at his arms. The only thing he knew now was that he never wanted to sleep again.

The drive back home was a blur. Ethan spaced out a lot, even without whatever was going on with him lately. He was always aware of this little quality, but now it freaked him out. What if he spaced out long enough for him to not come back? What if whatever he saw in his sleep came back and took over?

“That’s ridiculous,” he breathed out as he entered his quiet apartment. Suddenly he didn’t like living alone anymore. “It’s just a dream.”

It’s not like he saw anyone anyway. It was just a bunch of bad feelings and physical pain that was a little too vivid.

~March 2017

No matter how bad things are, conventions always did some good. It was why Ethan looked forward to PAX East in Boston. Well, he always looked forward to it, even when bad things were not happening in his life. It was fun to meet people in his community and hang out with his long distance friends. Plus, he got to visit home for a while too.

Being close to home helped quiet down the things in Ethan’s head. He noticed that when he was home last Christmas. He didn’t have a single nightmare, and he didn’t hear any mumbling in his ears. He still hung himself in his room late at night, but having less weird things around him was better than what he got in LA. You could say that Ethan missed home because it kept whatever this was quiet.

Three of his YouTube friends offered to room with him for the weekend. For once, Ethan turned down all the offers. He couldn’t risk having any of his friends seeing what he does in his sleep. He felt bad about denying everyone, but it was for the best. He just had to come up with a valid excuse as to why he had to bunk alone.

The actual convention was just what he needed to boost his mood. Ethan was happily distracted by games, merch, and subscribers. He hung out with Kathryn, Brian, Sean, and Signe pretty much the entire time.

It was almost therapeutic.

Almost.

On the last night of the convention, Ethan found himself walking back to his hotel room, Sean at his side. A group of their friends met up at the bar in the lobby, and all Ethan knew was that there were many shots involved. Sean decided to bring him upstairs. Good friend, a very good friend. But if it was Kathryn, then Ethan wouldn’t feel as anxious about the things his drunk self was going to spill.

“I don’t normally do this,” Ethan mumbled. “You’re a good friend, I love you so much.”

Sean put his arm around Ethan’s shoulders. “Of course, man. I’m here for you. You really went at it tonight. Like you were drinking away your demons.” He chuckled.

Ethan wasn’t tipsy enough to miss his friend’s almost knowing tone. But he was tipsy enough to keep talking.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Silence dawned between the two of them as they walked down the hall. Sean looked down at the floor, putting his hands in his pocket. Ethan tried to see past the haze in his head. He spoke again when they approached his door.

“But I’m fine.” He wasn’t sober enough for this shit. “Thanks for bringing me back…”

“I know what you mean,” Sean finally spoke while Ethan fumbled for his key. “I don’t know why we’re like this. You’d think we would be happier, given all that we have.”

Now Ethan felt the need to help his friend. This was something he had never heard from Sean before.

“You would think I would be able to sleep more.” He wasn’t sure what made him say that.

Sean gave him a confused look, and then took the key from Ethan’s hand. “Okay, you definitely need to go to bed.”

At least Ethan could use the excuse of too much alcohol for his nonsense.

“You would think I wouldn’t hear things that aren’t there…”

“Okay, bouncing baby boy…”

Sean followed him inside the room. Maybe he wanted to listen in more on Ethan’s drunken rambles.

“I think I'm immortal,” Ethan whispered.

He stumbled past Sean to get to the bed, but a hand went tightly around his upper arm. Ethan wasn't drunk enough to mishear the change in Sean’s tone.

“Let's find out, shall we?” It was turned rough and grainy, like it was glitching in real life.

Ethan yelled as he was shoved into the wall. He swore he heard it crack behind him. He looked into his friend’s eyes; They were suddenly pitch black. One eye looked like it was leaking black tears going in all directions. Then he heard a clicking sound, and his body acted on its own.

He wasn't sure what made him do it, but Ethan instantly raised his arms to deflect Sean’s attempts to stab him with a pocket knife. The point of the blade came way too close multiple times, making the adrenaline spike through Ethan’s body.

His hands caught Sean's wrist before the knife could meet his heart. Ethan was breathing rapidly, his mind blank, holding his friend back with strength he didn’t know he had. His fingers dug into the black long sleeve, and he heard the slightest crackling sound coming from the bones.

Sean growled under his breath, madness in his black eyes. Then, in the blink of an eye, he pulled a second knife from his pocket and slashed across Ethan’s stomach.

Ethan gasped, feeling several things gush from his abdomen. He gurgled and groaned as he felt the knife puncture his torso multiple times. His hold on Sean's wrist loosened, he was sure to die this time around.

He felt himself slipping away, but his body still moved. Ethan’s hand snatched the first knife away. Then, as if he was being propelled forward, he pushed Sean into the opposite wall, the knife piercing him right through the throat and into the plaster. Sean choked and spit blood in Ethan’s face, and returned the favor by sticking the knife right into the boy’s chest.

The two stared at each other, still holding the handles of the knives. Ethan would have panicked, had he not felt his own blood drenching his body. Sean's eyes went back to their usual blue, except they were faint and staring without seeing, and he loosened his grip on the knife.

Ethan stumbled backwards, his vision blurring. He just killed his friend. He needed help. He needed to tell someone.

He mustered up enough strength to get out of the hotel room and limp down the hallway. What was Mark's room again? Were they even on the same floor?

His vision went blurry. He stumbled into somebody's door.

He felt himself falling… But suddenly he was walking again… He had tunnel vision, almost like he was peering through the lock on a door. He moved down the hall… Ethan was too weak to continue watching… Maybe someone found him…

Ethan woke with a start. He was lying on a bed, covered in blankets and cold sweat. He sat up, looking around the dark room. He almost thought he was still dreaming because he was in his bedroom in Los Angeles.

“The fuck…?” he whispered as he got out of bed. He walked around the space, searching for the light.

Well, it was definitely his room. His apartment. Wasn’t he in Boston last night? Wasn’t he supposed to be in his hotel room?

Suddenly, a deep knot formed in Ethan’s stomach. The hotel. Sean.

That had to be a dream, right? There was no way…

Next thing he knew, Ethan was running out the door to the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror, tore off his unusually sweaty t-shirt, and looked at his body. He could still barely feel the knife going through his chest, yet the skin there was unmarked. He remembered walking around with the handle of the knife sticking out of his body. He could feel his insides-

Ethan physically gagged. It was way too real to be a dream. He turned on the sink and splashed water on his face, trying to get back his sense of reality. Whatever was going on in his head, whatever was living in there… It was playing with him.

He jumped when he heard his phone ring in his room. Since when did he have the ringer on? Ethan felt weary as he stepped back into his room. His phone was left on the nightstand, and it was lit up with a new text message.

Sean: “Look at us being crazy bois!!”

It goes without saying that Ethan cleared that notification without looking at the attachment. So Sean was definitely alive. It was wild that Ethan had to confirm that. Did he dare ask Sean if he remembered what happened? Was it even Sean who texted him?

Aside from that, how did Ethan not remember coming back home? Did anyone else remember him coming back home? Surely not, considering that Ethan probably would have had more texts and concerning phone calls from the friends he saw. He looked through his social media and found nothing weird on his part. What the hell was going on?

Whatever this was, it didn’t want to be seen. That’s why his sleep test results were normal. That’s why PAX East went well.

This thing wanted only Ethan to know about it. It wanted Ethan to go crazy trying to figure out what it was. That was the only thing he was sure of. He was definitely losing his mind.

_______

next.

#blankgameplays #blankgameplays fanfic #darkiplier #darkiplier fanfic #teamiplier fanfic #peevils #stoneface tyler #kathryn the one with an important role #sweetheart writes #tinad #what one positive comment does :)#song: afraid by the neighborhood

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bluevapors2035 · 5 years

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32 Marks

Okay. So I lost 32 marks in two subject papers that I got back today. And since I’m normally a pretty smart kid and used to get much higher scores three years ago, my mom doesn’t like this. I’m not denying it was my fault, like okay, I might have slacked off a little bit, fell asleep for a while, and forgot some things.

Well, my mom proceeds to call me into her room and I already get this sinking feeling in my chest: not even because I’m going to get yelled at, but because my mom is the most emotionally manipulative person on the planet. She’s very good at making me cry, and if I do cry in front of her, she knows exactly how to make me spill whatever I had been hiding from her. So I follow her and I’m crossing my fingers behind my back and hoping on hope that I wouldn’t cry, because if I do, it’s game over.

So she sits me down on her bed and asks me where I went wrong, what I could’ve done better, doesn’t this mean you’re not studying as hard as you claim to be? (But honestly tho, the course work is hard as hell and apart from my bestie who can scan textbooks like there’s no tomorrow, the exams were tough. Yeah anyway)

Admittedly, I lost my cool for a while, but I mostly just kept quiet and listened to her motivational speech. (Another thing about those speeches: they don’t work on me. Whether you praise or encourage me, or humiliate me and degrade me, or guilt-trap me, nothing works. I can bet you whatever you want that you can’t motivate me. Coming back)

I know she’s showing her support. I can understand that. I get that she wants to see me get into a good college next year. Every parent’s dream, right?

So she’s telling me that study and work life, that’s what makes life worth it (she’s in the biotech industry btw) because that’s what made her life worthwhile to her. I’m not getting into a rant about how school is harder for my generation, because it’s no use, and she deserves acknowledgement because she grew up with nothing and made it out.

And that’s what she always attributes my issues to. Because I grew up with everything. I grew up with too much, I know that. And I’m an ungrateful bitch. I know that too. I was grateful, I did love my parents until I grew more socially aware. I’m a bad person. I KNOW that. I don’t need anyone else to confirm it.

So my mom, she tells me that only people with a fighting spirit can succeed in life. And I almost start crying but I catch myself in time and don’t let the tears fall.

Because Ma? No. I don’t have a fighting spirit. Why? Because I’ve been depressed and suicidal on and off for the past four years. Ever wondered why my marks plummetted after that? I didn’t give a shit anymore. That’s literally why. I couldn’t find any motivation to study. I still can’t.

But I don’t tell her that. For several reasons: One, I couldn’t possibly say that without bursting into tears and that’s the one thing I’m trying so hard not to do. Two, I know exactly what her reaction would be and I don’t want to see it. It’s the same reaction when I came out to her. She would hit me or pinch me hard, and then proceed to cry until I took it back, because that always works. Three, she already knows (or she should know) and doesn’t give a shit. Because apparently, depression isn’t a real thing when you’re a teenager because it’s just the hormones. This is something she has said with her own mouth and I haven’t forgotten.

So I sit there, tight-lipped, not once looking at her while she says all this supportive stuff. And I should be thankful, I suppose. At least she didn’t beat me for my marks. But I’m not thankful.

I realized I wasn’t straight about two years ago and came out to her a little more than a year ago. And by coming out, I don’t mean a confident statement that no, I’m not straight and there’s nothing you can do about it. It was forced, and I was already insecure, and I was terrified. Because she has, on more than one occasion, expressed her dislike of that community. It may be subtle, but the slightest hint of disapproval is obvious if you’re closeted.

I just realized that I’d been telling those who asked that I told my mom. No, she made me.

Anyway. The result? Meltdown. I was already crying and then she yelled at me saying it was just a phase and don’t you dare say that ever again because you’re not bisexual. And I accepted that. I said yes, okay, I’m not bisexual, I’m sorry. (This all came out because of a broken relationship with a girl) And my mom goes, oh so that’s why your Board Exam results were so low. (I got 96%, mind) As if that was more important than me finding out who I was.

She found out that I self-harmed when I was in ninth grade, when I was in the hospital (for another reason okay) and the nurse turned my wrist over to put the drip in my hand, and she noticed the scars, which weren’t freshly made, but noticeable. Wanna know what happened? Meltdown. I started crying and she cried and I think she hit me and made me apologize, but I didn’t answer her questions as to why. She makes me feel guilty of it to this day, three years later.

I used to go to music classes to learn the keyboard, but they stressed me out. Don’t get me wrong, my teacher is the nicest. It was just a lot of pressure for me. So I told her that I was quitting (and this was after six and a half years of practice, okay, not like, two weeks in and I fell out) because it stressed me, and she was upset but she let me quit. She said it’s okay, we didn’t join those classes to get stressed, I’ll call him and tell him.

The next week, when I didn’t go, she just threw that comment right out, like she couldn’t believe I quit, that she has a loser for a child, what would my teacher think? Basically, a guilt trap. I didn’t respond, but now, instead of fearing going to class, I fear Saturday afternoons in my own house, because I have to hear these remarks. This was in April. I still hear about it.

I like dressing in what is typically men’s wear. Like, I’m really not one to dress up unless there’s something going on. And my hair is cut short, so it sometimes looks like I’m a guy, which I honestly wish would happen. And my mother doesn’t like that. Like, at all. She’s sometimes okay with me going out dressed in tshirts and jeans, but once she angrily asked me, are you transgender or something?

I wish I could’ve answered with a yes. I don’t know.

If I tell my mom that I want to wear boys’ clothes, she probably will be like, okay. But if I even mention a word related to gender, she’s going to hit the roof. And she has. She has cried, where have I gone wrong? And, bad person as I am, I relish that.

She has sat me down and told me when I go to college, to not be a person people will label easily and put into a box. That seems like solid advice, yeah? But she said that in reply to when I asked to cut my hair. So I know what she really means is: don’t you fucking dare go around looking like a boy and attracting girls or some shit. And that hurts.

If I tell my mom that my feelings are a little wack right now, I know I don’t smile much now, give me some time, I’ll be okay, then she would be cool with it. But the second I say I’m depressed, she won’t have it.

When you put a label on it, it must become real. I don’t think she wants to accept that my feelings are real and not just hormones.

So you might tell me, she’s being supportive of your marks. Well, yeah. Because that’s the only thing that matters. If she showed me half that support for things that are actually important, I might have been a happier person.

I got proof that she’s kinda sorta embarrassed because of me, because my social skills aren’t way up there. I don’t know how to stand or look in social settings, and my face isn’t very pleasant to look at either. So we were in a clothing store and she was looking for stuff, I was just standing around staring at nothing, but she thought I was staring at her and people were looking because of that. So she like, whispered, can’t you just act pleasant and normal for once? And I just stood there shocked, like, what am I getting yelled at for? I immediately got those “I’m embarrassed by you” vibes and I just walked out of the fucking store. I walked three paces behind her the whole day, so no one needed to know I was her daughter. She apologized afterwards, when I told her that I wouldn’t come with her anywhere anymore. I don’t want fucking apologies.

Was this a rant on my mom? Yes it was.

Do you know how hard it is to hate being home? You probably do. I don’t even look her in the eyes anymore, I couldn’t tell you what color they are.

Bottomline: I lost 32 marks in two subjects and she won’t rest until I’m guilty about it.

#mom #mother #32 marks #hatred is not the absence of love but its pretty damn close #school #suicidal #queer #bluevapors #lgbt #girls like girls #bisexual #its okay to figure yourself out #its okay to cry #its okay to not be okay #life #ranting #personal rant

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trashpandaorigins · 6 years

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And If You Don’t Love Me Now Ch. 3

The thing inside him would not quiet. It was always there, deep within his roots, burrowed into his core. It did not speak, it didn’t need to. The last relic of his home world, Planet X. Once it had sustained all life, and held all the power of his kind. Now it was little more than an unknown nuisance. Without meaning or memory. Groot carried it inside him and knew that it was there but did not know what for or why.

“I am Groot!” He lifted his head from where he stared at his hands, a million thoughts flying through his head.

“What’s up twig?” Kraglin asked, poking his head into Groot’s newly cleaned room. The adolescent Flora colossus finally decided to do it, if only to stop Rocket from pestering him.

“I am Groot?”

“Yeah, of course,” the ravager answered, face looking concerned. Groot rolled his eyes, why was it that grown ups always acted like they were going to hear some devastating news when you asked them if you could ask them something? Karglin gingerly stepped in, his wide eyes scanning the room for signs of the raccoonoid.

“I am Groot.”

“Where’d he go?”

“I am Groot,” he ALWAYS off doing something. Some repair on the ship, some new bomb building, or drinking himself under the table. Groot thought disgruntled. Kraglin bounced his leg beside him, waiting. “I am Groot?” Groot finally asked. The man’s eyes narrowed, he tilted his head.

“Sorry…what?”

“I am Groot?” Groot tried again, already exhausted by the effort. He watched Kraglin trying to comprehend. “I….AM…Grooot,” Groot repeated. Why couldn’t they just hurry up and learn already? He knew all their languages.

“What was it like….growing up with….?”

“I am Groot,” Groot leaned closer. The ravager’s mouth opened but only silence came out before he looked away.

“Yondu, what was it like growing up with Yondu?” Not Groot’s exact question but like always, he’d have to settle. He tried to let go of the hot anger at Kraglin’s incompetence, at always having to accommodate everyone’s inability to grasp even the simplest syntax. He tried, but that unknowable, omnipresent thing in his chest only set his leaves ruffling in more anger.

Another thing he didn’t fully understand. He doubted anyone would except maybe Rocket.

“Yondu was good captin’, tried his best to be at least…” the regret seeping off of the ravager was almost too much. Groot grounded his feet into the metal floor, roots wrapping around the mesh. He was no empath like Mantis, could not read emotions or bend them to his will. But he felt them when they were strong enough. He could feel the increased vibrations of Karaglin’s tattered heart. “Got us into lots of trouble, did a lotta things that would’ve seemed wrong by anybody else. Maybe they were.” Groot nodded, he could tell that much from when he and Yondu and Rocket escaped his old ship. “He loved Peter….didn’t show it nearly enough, until…until the end…but he did. After what he said to Rocket, I reckon one of his other big regrets was not…how did he say it…?”

“I am Groot?” Kraglin blinked, nodding.

“Yeah…that he didn’t let that little bit of love into his own heart. He just pushed it away.”

“I am Groot?”

“Naw,” Kraglin waved him away, “it wasn’t all bad. We had some good times too. The old Captain would always let us go off and have our fun after we took a good prize. Rewarded us well, can’t deny that.”

“I am Groot?”

“Yeah,” Kraglin laughed, “Yon…” Groot turned around. Rocket stalked in, wiping his yellow oil stained hands on his jumpsuit, muttering curses to himself. Most of the time Groot pushed Rocket’s buttons and boundaries but this was one he dared not cross. The rest of the team learned long ago the new number one rule: NEVER mention Yondu in front of Rocket.

“Well Groot, I best be going,” Kraglin awkwardly patted his arm. “Nice talkin’ to you twig.” Rocket only nodded in acknowledgement as the ravager left. Groot stewed, glaring at his bunk mate, how come Rocket always walked in when he was the least wanted? Deep down, Groot scolded himself for the thought. It was wrong. Rocket had always been there for him, Groot remembered back on Dravia, when Peter’s plan cost him his arm, how outraged Rocket had been. Then how he’d taught him all about their adventures before….before, well the raccoonoid had simply ignored any of Groot’s questions around that subject.

“We’ll be on Contraxia in a day,” Rocket grumbled, going to sit on his own bed. Groot nodded what more could he say?

“What were you talking with Kraglin about?” Groot straightened and looked at his game that lay on his bed. If he pretended to play it, he wouldn’t have to answer the question.

“I am Groot!”

“Fine,” Rocket replied, oddly quietly. “I’m going to bed, don’t play that damn game, the damn lights on it get in my eyes.” Groot ignored him, picking it up and tapping away. A welcome distraction from everything that had been going through his mind these past few days. He shouldn’t be blaming any of them, he knew that much. They only ever tried to take care of him, tried to protect and communicate with him. But they just reprimanded him for this and that, never leaving him be, always telling him what he could and couldn’t do. He remembered Yondu who probably let Peter do whatever he wanted when he was a teen. Yondu who knew more about the galaxy than anyone else Groot had ever known. If only Yondu were here. Peter would be happier, Rocket would be happier, not to mention Kraglin. Yondu would have let Groot go out there and take on the baddies no matter how hostile, instead of Rocket forbidding him from doing anything but tagging along and occasionally helping one of them out a jam in a fight when they needed it.

Groot stuffed the game under his bed and leaned back against the wall growing his branches out into the wall to secure himself, thinking of what the ship would be like if Yondu were still here. Peter had mentioned him the last time they stopped to refuel, both the ship and themselves at a bar on Ickdo. Groot listened to them talking about something called an Infinity Stone, Xandar, and a dance off before Rocket hastily shut them all up.

“I am Groot?” Groot demanded afterward,

“Nothin! A’right, it doesn’t matter it was before.” Rocket stumbled from the bar.

“I am Groot?” Before WHAT? But the raccooniod never answered him.

The familiar rush of Rocket’s breath huffed in and out, in and out. The first time he’d witnessed one of Rocket’s night terrors he’d been terrified and ran for Gamora to help him. He’d done it over and over again until he’d taught himself what to do. The episodes were so normalized now it was practically a part of this nightly routine. But once, just once, Groot selfishly wished Rocket would just shut up and deal with it himself. He hated himself for thinking that, but with each pitiful cry came another flash of anger. He shut his eyes, trying to ignore the whimpering.

“Please…don’t…” Rocket gasped, “don’t rip me apart again!”

“I am Groot,” Groot tried quietly from where he tried to sleep. He heard Rocket flailing claws scratching against the metal, dry heaving. If this went the way it had for the last several weeks the raccoonoid would eventually wake up and teeter off to find some gun that needed to be fixed. It wasn’t his responsibility, Rocket could get through it he told himself. Besides, whenever he’d try to ask him about it, his friend would always be vague.

“Groot!” Rocket wailed in his sleep, Groot’s heart cracked as he detached himself from the wall and crossed over to his friend. “Groot please…I…” Rocket’s shouts dissolved into panting.

“I am Groot,” Groot whispered, snaking his vines around him and sitting beside him. Giving in as he knew he should. Rocket lay exhausted, finally his eyes opened a sliver though they were rimmed with tears and confused. “Groot….we have to…we have to get out of this ‘dast l…lab…” Rocket choked, eyes focusing in and out. Groot stopped his comforting pats. Lab? What Lab? Groot had never been in a lab in his entire life. Rocket mentioned it awhile ago when Groot was little and he told him all about their friendship. But Groot had been too little to really question any of it. As he reflected, he found he could t recall anything about a lab or a place called Halfworld or even any of the prison breaks Rocket had talked about. He said nothing, but stroked the raccoonoid gently until the raccoon like creature fell back to sleep. He already knew what the answer would be if he asked Rocket about this lab. ‘Nothing, it was before…” Before what? Groot was enraged in longing to know. He looked down at his friend, whom he loved, dearly but maybe it was time to ask someone else. Just then he heard the beep overhead and Peter’s voice announced,

“We’re coming in to Contraxia, be there in one click, hold on to your butts.”

#if you don't love me now #Groot #teen groot #my writing #rocket raccoon #gotg #kraglin obfonteri #adolescent groot

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bethadastra · 6 years

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Hi! This is your gift giver for holiday cheer! I've been poking around your blog (I love it) and I was wondering if you could give me a bit more information about your Shepard & Garrus and your Ryder & Kandros pairings. What does one partner like the best about the other? What drives them crazy about each other (in good ways and in bad)? What are their favourite colours? Looking ahead 5 years in their lives, where would they be? When/how did they fall in love? Details and rambles are great! Thx!

Oh man… you better fasten your seatbelt, because I’m about to hit the FTL button on this. I think I should give some in-depth background on myLiz/Garrus headcanon, because I have a ton of content in my head for them, and a lot of important relationship developmenthappens after the Reaper war… As for Sara Ryder & Tiran Kandros, their section is much shorter, and at the bottom of the post. *Be warned,Liz got loaded with a ton of angst because I love watching my beloved OCsuffer.

Liz is an Earthborn, Ruthless, Renegon soldier thateventually chose the Destroy ending (and lived to tell the tale, though at agreat cost).

Liz falls head over heels for Garrus during ME2, becausetreats her as an equal, but she doesn’t dare hint at her feelings until rightbefore Garrus returns to Palaven and she turns herself in to the Alliance. Garrushas feelings too, but he denies it for most of the suicide mission, and chalksit up to a twisted sense of hero worship. They have an emotional conversation abouthow Liz needs to “pay her dues” and Garrus blurts out that she should considerbeing selfish for once in her life (though by this time, its too late for herto turn back, and she can’t say or do anything to tell Garrus that shereciprocates his feelings). It isn’t until they “review protocol on reunions”in ME3 that they fully confirm that they are in love with each other, and theyare pretty inseparable at that point. They don’t talk about being together orhave PDA around others, but they don’t go to extreme lengths to hide theirrelationship either.

Garrus and Liz sneak away and elope at the end of theCitadel party in ME3, but because everyone else was drunk and galactic law doesn’trequire witnesses, nobody on the Normandy besides the happy couple knows, andthe end of the Reaper war happens so quickly after that they never have achance to tell anyone. Garrus doesn’t even tell anyone after the final battle,out of anger and grief. I’d like to note that they were both wearing theirfatigues when they signed their certificate, because Liz is just not adress-wearing character.

After choosing Destroy, Liz is severely injured, and as aresult, has retrograde amnesia for many months, and loses her left arm. Whenshe wakes up, she initially believes that she is still 17 years old andescaping the Reds to join the Alliance, and is very confused by the state ofthe universe and why a hulking, scarred turian is at her bedside. Garrus staysby her side the entire time during her many months of recovery, and neverbrings up the fact that they had a relationship until she begins having dreamsof moments they shared together mixed with more traumatizing memories. Heeventually reveals everything and reproposes, and they elope again (no fancy white dress or weddingceremony for this gal, nope!), and he may or may not get a good fist to theface when he reveals the truth because Liz is still a renegade deep down. Solong story short, looking ahead 5 years, Garrus and Liz will relearn their entire relationship, and work together to heal their physical and psychological wounds.

Now, on to happier things!! Liz loves seeing Garrus when heis nervous and behaves in a very tender fashion, because he came across assomeone very brash and confident when they first met, and no matter how oftenthey butt heads, he is always very gentle and respectful of her wishes. Garrus,on the other hand, loves her for how selfless she is. Her unwavering sense ofduty might come off as cold to others, but it is admirable to him, and Garruswishes that he could say “What else do you need me to do?” as genuinely as shedoes.

Things that drive them crazy….. Hm. Both Liz and Garrus arestubborn to a fault, so that drives them both nuts. I think for Garrus, heloves Shepard’s hands. He loves watching her alien fingers give signs on thebattlefield, how quickly she can clean and assemble a rifle, and all the thingsshe does when they… you get the idea. Garrus hates how she rarely goes intodetail about why she makes many of the choices that she does. He knows he needsto trust her, but it just about kills him when she orders him to staybehind. It drives Shepard crazy whenGarrus teases her for her itty bitty 5’3” height (and he does it solely becausehe knows it’ll ruffle her feathers in a good way). Also, there is somethingabout all of Garrus’ terrible dad jokes that Liz just loves. Like, she doesn’tlaugh easily but he somehow knows how to get past her guard. When Garrus learnsthis, he makes an extra effort to make her laugh in front of other Alliance officialsjust to see the look of shock on their faces.

As for colors, Liz loves a deep, dark green that I guesswould sit somewhere between olive and pine. Her armor is that color. Garrusused to stick to C-Sec blue, but after the Reaper war, he wore lots ofsilver/grey because Liz called him a “silver spirit” while still affected byamnesia.

Whew! Hope that all hasn’t scared you off yet.

As for Sara Ryder & Kandros, their story is still verymuch a work in progress. For how they met and a taste of their personalities,you can check out my AO3 (under the same url) for the story On And Off The Mat.Sara doesn’t have the strongest connection with her family, and finds a lot ofsolace in Tiran. This results in a ton of quickies that mostly occur afterstressful missions. Things are just physical between them up until Ryder triesto go after Meridian, and gets shot down by the administration. Sara’s a bit ofa hothead, and struggles with communicating her emotions, so it comes down tothis public argument turning into a confession of her feelings with Tiran inprivate. Tiran becomes aware of his own feelings when the Charlatan is revealed and battles Sloane & Ryder. He becomes very protective of her, but the L word isn’t brought up until right after the battle on Meridian, and he is helping her with her wounds.

In both a good and bad way, Tiran’s ability to call Sara outon her bullshit drives her crazy. She definitely appreciates the fact thatTiran can see right through her. She doesn’t have to put on an act around him,and he often knows what she needs before she knows it herself. Sara hates howTiran’s obedience to the Initiative allows Tann to walk all over him. Tiran, onthe other hand, has been a really hard nut for me to crack in developing his character.I think Sara drives him crazy in the way that theres just so much about herthat throws him for a loop. Like, it’s always a surprise when she shows up froma mission, and she asks questions that surprise and baffle him. I think he alsohas some self-confidence issues, so anytime Sara puts her trust in him or callshim out on his own bullshit, he questions himself.

Sara loves the turquoise color of the Initiative logo and noit has nothing to do with the fact that Tiran’s eyes are the same color. Tiranlikes sunset orange (ie the lights on his armor) and for some pretty obviousreasons, he becomes particular to chestnut brown.

I wish I could say for sure where I want them tobe 5 years down the road, but I’m a sucker for building on canon lore, andwould be shamefully butthurt if a sequel game came out and Tiran still didn’tget to be a squadmate. I do like imagining that Tiran gets a chance to settlehis differences with Sloane, Sara is able to formally retire from the role ofPathfinder, and that the two of them either make up their own little APEX team,or go off and do freelance work on Kadara or Eladaan. No matter what theirfuture holds, it will be full of sassy comments and live up to a solidExplicit rating.

I’ll be posting more (mostly drawings) of my Liz & Sara, so hopefully all of this helps! If this massive text monstrosity didn’t fully satisfy you, feel free to ask me more questions!

#anon ask #holiday harbinger #this has been a massive overshare with Beth #long post #head canons and lore and stuff

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foxskinxx · 7 years

Text

Put My Heart Back Together Part 5

Summary: Reader isn’t human and when she finally confesses her love to a certain metal armed soldier, her heart breaks (literally) when he doesn’t love her back. Will the reader deal with the dullness she has to endure or will Bucky come to his senses? Soulmate AU?

Warnings: ANGST. FLUFF?. HEARTBREAK? CUSSING LIKE A SAILOR, duh.

Author’s Note: This is long. I apologize if this is complete shit. My friend has helped me tremendously with the chapters, @krimzenrayne .

It has been a year since your mother had come to live with you and since the decision that led to you and Bucky to be friends again. Bucky has changed his attitude towards you and it did make your chest a little lighter. You and Bucky began to communicate better, understand each other more clearly, and you both started to feel a lot better. It did take some time for you both to get use to the new change but your mother was there to help you both. At first, Bucky wouldn’t stay in the same room as you, he still felt the crushing weight of the guilt. You couldn’t look at him for more than a minute, he was so mesmerizing that you wanted to curl up to him but you couldn’t.

You started to let your voice be heard, you didn’t wait until the last minute to say something and it made things a lot less painful. You didn’t overthink when Bucky would talk to another woman, you concluded that there are female agents and they do not get his love, that’s only you. You stopped being dramatic when someone hurt you or when they said something they didn’t know upset you. You started to feel better and your two heart puzzle pieces started to shift a little towards each other.

Bucky stopped denying that he doesn’t deserve love, he learned to accept it. He didn’t go out of his way to make you upset anymore, so he wouldn’t get close to you. He stopped making decisions for you and started to talk to you about it. He start to think before he did something that might hurt you.

All in all, it was a going good. You two still have a long way to go but this past year has showed how much you both improved. You felt somewhat happy and it felt good to feel something other than depressed or angry.

“EVERYONE! MAY I PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!” Tony’s voice boomed through out the kitchen and the lounge area that was connected to the kitchen. You sat on the kitchen counter top, talking with your mom who was in front you. She had some baggy clothes on like you did, she was leaning against the counter behind her as she talked to you about Russia when the old man bombarded into the room.

“Tony it is nine in the fucking morning. If you don’t tell us what this is about soon, I’m going to roast you.” You were a morning person but you hated when people do that, you didn’t like when people interrupted your conversations.

“Well Y/N if you did than you would be uninvited to my party tonight. Everyone is invited, dress casual.” With that Tony swiftly exited the room, not wanting to hear any rejections.

“Flame, are you going?” Your mother turned back to you once Tony left. You shrugged your shoulders as you sipped on your earl grey tea. You did want to go and have a good time but you didn’t exactly like big crowds.

“I don’t know. You know how I get in large crowds.” Your mother hummed in agreement. You noticed that Bucky was talking with Natasha and Wanda in the lounge area. Your hands grew a faint shade of orange.

“Flaaaaaaame.” Your mother drew out your pet name as she noticed your growing worry, literally. You snapped back to your mothers gaze and controlled your emotions.

“Why are you worrying?” You felt her hand grasp your hand as you let out a rather sad sigh.

“I guess I’m just insecure. Natasha and Bucky have had a past and she seems like the perfect fit even though the universe literally made us soulmates, I still get insecure.” You kept your head down as you confessed your thoughts.

“Oh honey, it’s okay to be insecure as long as you don’t drown yourself in it.” She rubbed small circles on your hand as she gave you a toothy smile.

“Anyway, are you going?” You changed the subject to avoid getting more into it, you agreed with her but you just hated to dwell on it.

“I think I will.” She moved to the sink and placed her empty cup in the sink to wash it later.

“I’m going to the lab to help Bruce. Call me if you need me okay sweetie?” You nodded at your mothers question and sipped on your tea. You began to debate whether you are going to the party or not.

“Agent Y/L/N?” You rose your head to find a rather attractive young man staring at you. Who is he?

“Yes?” You wondered who this mysterious man was, you haven’t seen him before. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and he was very fit.

“I’m Agent Bay Hart, I am new to the Avengers. You’re the only one I haven’t met so I thought I would introduce myself.” He extended his hand with a polite smile spread across his face.

You jumped off the counter and took his hand in yours but once your skin made contact he jerked his hand back.

“OW!” You might have forgotten to warn him that your hands are usually hotter than most.

“I’m so sorry!” You couldn’t believe that you already burned him before you even said ‘hello.’

“It’s okay. I should’ve known that your body temperature is hotter than most.” He chuckled at his mistake and yours. You giggled a little as you two started to get to know more about each other. You’ve discovered that he is an excellent sniper, combat trainer, and he is married.

“I bet I could kill more target faster than you.” He heard that you were one of the best snipers in the compound and he was one for a challenge. You chuckled and rolled your eyes at his competitiveness.

“Suuuure and I bet that by tomorrow pig’s will fly.” He laughed at your sarcasm.

“Y/N?” You looked up from Bay and your eyes met Bucky’s grey ones.

“Hey Bucky!” You sounded happier than usual, your cheeks were a bit pink, you started to get nervous and Bay noticed your love struck state. Bay started to chuckle and nudge your side which made you push him away and let out a laugh at his behavior. Bucky just stood in front of you two and looked very confused.

“So are you going to the party tonight?” Bucky went to the fridge to grab a water. You shrugged your shoulders and mumbled an, ‘ I don’t think so.’

“Oh come on Y/N, you can’t just stay in your room all night.” Bay wanted to hangout with you more and frankly you did too, he seemed nice. You pursed your lips, taped your finger on your chin as you pretend to think about it. Bay chuckled at your act and rolled his eyes.

“I think that’s a great idea, Bay! I think Netflix and I have a date tonight anyway.” You and Bay were laughing at your comment while Bucky looked like he could kill at any moment.

“I’ll talk to you later Y/N.” Bucky went to hug you and you of course returned it. Bucky gave Bay a cold stare but you didn’t see it. When you went to pull away Bucky didn’t make a move to disconnect you two anytime soon. You didn’t mind but you weren’t alone so you laughed as you lightly pushed him off.

“I’ll see you later Bucky.” Bucky’s arm wrapped around your waist as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. You didn’t expect it but you smiled stupidly as he left the kitchen.

“Okay, you have to tell me what that was about.” Bay had his head rested on his hands as he leaned against the counter listening to you intently as you explain everything.

9:41 pm.

You didn’t go to the party, you didn’t feel like being around anyone tonight. You changed from your day clothes into your comfortable over-sized band tee and leggings. You went to the kitchen to grab some snacks and a drink as you made your course to the theater room. You asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to play When Harry Met Sally as you got comfortable on one of Tony’s expensive couches. The opening began to play when you heard the door open and you paused the movie to tell them to ‘fuck off’ but than you saw a familiar face.

“Mind if I join?” Bay looked like he has been in bed all day. You furrowed your eyebrows as you made room for him to sit beside you. When he sat down, he groaned in pain. Your eyebrows increased to make its way towards each other.

“Why are you not at the party?”

“I had over trained today and I pulled some muscles. Didn’t really feel like getting wasted tonight.” You laughed at the explanation.

“You’re a body builder.” You sneered at the stupid man beside you as he gave you a playful glare. He rolled his eyes and you just chuckled as you told F.R.I.D.A.Y to play the movie. Throughout the movie, you and Bay discussed the characters you hated and loved, the plot, and the ending.

“But come on Y/N, you can’t actually be into that.” You and Bay had abandoned the theater room for a moment, you had run out of food. You rolled your eyes at Bay’s stupid comment. You walked beside each other as you both made your way to the kitchen.

“I love that quote. It’s romantic.” You argued with the blonde.

“I dare you reenact it with me.” Bay smirked as your cheeks went pint. He rolled his eyes, “Just pretend it’s Bucky.” He smirked even wider when your face went tomato red. You sighed as you thought this would be fun to actually say it to someone even for a joke. Unbeknownst to you or Bay, Bucky was just about to enter the kitchen when he heard you talking to Bay. You and Bay began to grow serious so you two could reenact your favorite scene.

“I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

“You see? That is just like you, Bay. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you.”You repeated your favorite quote with such passion that you sounded like you were serious. Bay insisted that you use his name rather than Harry because it would sound more real. Out of the corner of your eye you saw something reflect light in your eye.

But when you looked in that direction, you didn’t see anything. You shrugged your shoulders and looked back at Bay who was trying to be serious. He started to quote other cheesy love lines from other movies. You tried to stay serious throughout the whole thing but it was very difficult.

“I want you. I want all of you, forever. You and me, every day.” Bay grasped your hand in order to make it more believable. You both were on the verge of laughing but you wanted to continue to see if you can make him laugh first.

“You had me at hello.” You sounded so sincere, you sounded like you were actually confessing. You and Bay separated as you both cracked at the same time, the last quote was too much.

“Oh my goodness, that was HILARIOUS.” You and Bay were on the floor laughing. You haven’t had a laugh like that in a very long time. You both got your asses off the floor and wiped the tears that spilled out during your giggle fit.

You and Bay hung out in the kitchen for a couple hours. You decided to cook some cookies as you both shared some mission stories. You explained your race to your new team mate and he told you how he met his partner.

“I think I’m going to head to Bucky’s room and see if he returned from the party.” You would usually spend your nights with Bucky but he went to the party. He promised to meet you later but you haven’t seen him in over six hours. Bay rolled his eyes as he gagged as he stuck his finger in his mouth pointing to this uvula.

“Oh shut up. I’ll see you later Bay.” You skipped out of the kitchen and took your time to Bucky’s room as you thought about the fun you had with your new friend. You giggled at the memory of the stupid cheesy lines. It was currently 12:43 am and you wanted to talk to Bucky before you headed to bed.

“Bucky!” You knocked rapidly at his door hoping he’ll be in a good mood. You loved talking about your day to Bucky and you loved hearing about his. You just hated when he was in a bad mood, you hated to see him other than happy.

Bucky’s door swung open and reviled a red eyed, slumped Bucky. You furrowed your eyebrows and made haste to comfort him but when you fingertips touched his cheek, he reacted like it was poison. The pain sketched on his face made your heart ache. You were about to ask what’s wrong when his voice made its way out of his throat.

“Go away.” He slammed the door straight in your face. You stood there stunned at his behavior. Okay what the fuck was that?

“Bucky, what did I do?” You had a small pool of tears making their way around your vision. You didn’t like this, not one bit.

“GO AWAY Y/N!” He sounded so angry. What had you done?

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow Bucky..” You mumbled loud enough for him to hear. You had your head down as you made your way towards your room to think about all the situations that might have led to this.

Bucky’s POV.

I had walked into the kitchen in search for Y/N but when I heard her rather romantic confession towards the new agent, I bolted the minute she she confessed, “you had me at hello.”

I entered my room and as soon as the door shut, I punched the wall to my right. I retracted my metal fist from the plaster and engrossed my hands into my hair where they tangled themselves into my locks. I sat at the edge of my bed in order to calm down and evaluate the situation.

“She’s my soulmate, she wouldn’t do this.” I tried to reason with my darker thoughts that began to whisper appalling words into my brain.

“You hurt her, you broke her heart, you idiot. You’re a monster, you can’t really think that this soulmate shit is real? You have a soulmate? You’ll never be loved.” It all became too much, my vision faded and darkness invaded my sight and my mind. I couldn’t fight them anymore, they were too much. I sat on the corner of my bed, in the dark as I began to panic and feel worthless.

Why would she love me?

“Bucky!!” Y/N beautiful voice came in my mind like a bullet. I furrowed my eyebrows, why was she here? I rose from my spot on the bed and wiped my eyes, even though it did nothing. I opened the door to find the love of my life.

My shoulders slumped when all I could think about was those damn words as I saw her gorgeous fucking eyes. Damnit.

She went to touch my face as her expression turned to worry. When her fingertips brushed against my skin, all I could think about was her love confession to the new agent. I pulled away immediately as I thought about her holding on to Bay.

“Go away.” I took all the strength I had left to look her in the eyes and shut the door in her face. I leaned my forehead on the door as I placed my hands on either side of my face. I love you, all I could repeat in my mind was those stupid three words.

“Bucky what did I do?” She sounded so broken, it almost made me run out of the room and wrap her into me. Almost.

“GO AWAY Y/N!” I screamed in an angry tone but I wasn’t angry with her. I was angry at myself for thinking I deserved her love. I could never be angry with her even if she broke my heart. I felt betrayed.

I found myself on my knees as I still had my hands and forehead pressed against the door.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you more than you know.” I found myself whispering through the pain how much I love my precious angel. But she wasn’t mine, at least not anymore.

Y/N’S POV.

“What did I do, mamma? Everything was going so well until three weeks ago.” Every night since that dreadful night when Bucky closed his door on you, you’ve been crying yourself to sleep in your mother’s lap. It’s been three weeks exactly since Bucky decided to cut you off, it hurt more each day. You tried, fuck did you try, to talk to him. He only gave you a stone cold glare and a scoff as he pushed you aside and resumed what he was doing.

“Ssh, flame, we’ll find out what is going on m’kay? It will be okay.” She would always hold her arms wide open when you’d open the door with red cheeks and tears cascading down your face. You soon drifted off into dreamland as your mother pet your hair, kissed your forehead, and tucked you in.

Wanda was in the main kitchen when she saw your mother come into view with a sorrowful look on her face. She leaned her elbows on the counter as she massaged her temples with her fingertips. Wanda and your mother have grown close and your mother had grown fond of the witch. Your mother had officiously adopted Wanda for a birthday, you both cried so hard. Wanda was now your sister and your mother had another addition to the family.

“Mom, is everything okay?” Wanda sat her cup of tea down and placed her hand on her shoulder.

“Hmm? Oh yes, I’m just confused and worried about this situation with Y/N and Bucky.” Your mother kept her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes focused on the basket of fruit in front of her as she thought of ways to help.

“I think I may know why.” Tony popped his head around the corner to show he was eavesdropping on the two women. “Before you say anything, I miss my cheerful Y/N, so when I noticed something happened between the two I did some research on the security cameras.” Tony explained his reasoning behind his case.

Tony held out his tablet to the two curious women, he then pressed play when they nodded him to do so. It played that fateful night. It was a perfect angle, you could see you two clearly as well as the hallway where Bucky was eavesdropping. The two women had their eyes wide when they saw that Bucky didn’t wait until you both crackled with laughter to leave. This explains it all.

“Oh shit.” Wanda gasped at the new evidence to the case of your broken state and Bucky’s. The group of three took it all in, Tony took it in for the second time.

They began to come up with a plan to get you two to at least talk. Now it was time to put it in action.

@mayfeather27 @theloveablesociopath

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky imagne #bucky series #PTMHBT

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