#How Destruction too at times carries all those aspects

[azukiel]

Nightfall Heir

Chapter 8

🔞 MDNI 🔞 NSFW

Warnings (as a whole): Explicit sexual content, Graphic descriptions of violence, PTSD, Angst, Blood kink, Kidnapping, Pregnancy and Childbirth

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

⭐Here is the story on Archive of Our Own ⭐

Summary: Two years have passed since the events surrounding the destruction of the Absolute. Baldur's Gate is slowly rebuilding itself from the rubble, and you and your companions have established yourselves within the city to help in its restoration.

You and your vampiric lover, Astarion, had been nigh inseparable since coming back together. Yet a certain turn of events saw to your kidnapping and then... to your unexpected pregnancy.

🔥Comments and reblogs are much appreciated! 🔥

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was no way of telling how long you had been kept captive. When you had been awoken, your eyes were almost swollen shut. In profound darkness and restraints, the passaging time was practically impossible to ascertain. You did not know what time of day or night it was, and your Drow eyesight was next to useless now. Not knowing when Faceless was coming was just one aspect of the fear. However, knowing Astarion may be dead was the worse thing you could imagine. And as such, it gnawed at you every waking hour, which is why you couldn’t stop your mind from wandering towards the darkest of places.

Faceless had let slip to you that you were with child.

But... how? You strained your mind and some sliver of memory graced you. You remembered that Faceless had special abilities regarding the sanguine arts of blood. But you had been menstruating. Or so you thought you had been... or was the bleeding because of your apparent pregnancy? Would Astarion not have been able to taste the difference in your blood too, when he drank from you all those nights ago?

But nothing you could think of made sense. So, you opted to keep your wits and focus your efforts on surviving. You could do nothing but.

Upon being tied to the whipping frame, Faceless had tortured you in the most obscene, painful ways. Your back and buttocks were covered in weeping gashes and slices. The leather of your hide and flesh was fraying, blood flowing and sizzling from each wound as you were sliced open, re-opening and healing every few minutes with her use of potions. She relished in your prolonged suffering. Perhaps it was revenge for things you had done to her in times past when the Dark Urge had power over you.

Sweat and blood were clinging to your face like a visceral glue. You had screamed until your throat had been shredded to nothing but a coarse whisper. Despite the torture and blood loss, the baby was alive. Or so Faceless told you. She would kill it in the end, though, or so she tormented. You were terrified and furious and distraught all at once. Your heart ached at the thought of not surviving... not seeing him... having the child you carried in your womb ripped from your body. That is, if you were actually carrying one.

All you could do was curl inwards, pushing the anguish to the back of your mind so that it did not swallow you whole.

But, try as you might to distract yourself, you could not help but keep envisioning him in pain, in danger... dying in the street in agony while the sun scorched him to a cinder.

There was nothing she wanted more than to destroy you and make Astarion suffer as a consequence. The searing lash of the whip continued to rain down upon you. But, for however long it had been, your silent tears had not faltered.

Hour after agonizing hour, the relentless torment unfolded, each blow leaving its mark. The days blurred together in a haze of uncertainty, unsure of how long her sadistic pleasure lasted. Sickening sounds of bones snapping echoed through the air, drowned out only by the muffled cries that escaped your swollen and bloodied lips. The acrid smell of fear and pain hung heavy in the air, as the excruciating torture persisted.

Your head was so darkened and clouded you could no longer tell whether you were on the material plane or were ascending through the heavens.

In the far distance, the air was filled with the piercing sound of desperate shouting and agonising screams. The echoes of clinking and clanging metal reverberated, creating a cacophony that resonated through the surroundings.

The ferocious roar of a bear.

Halsin?

The crackling of lightning and explosions of fire.

Gale and Shadowheart?

Shouting, cursing, slicing...

Lae’zel , Wyll and Karlach?

So many voices were flooding into your mind.

“My love...” His voice... “What in the fucking hells have they done to you?”

The gentle touch of those silken arms wrapped around you, softly cradling your broken body off the cold, metal rack. In the dimly lit room, numerous figures stood silently, their voices muffled and incomprehensible to your ears. However, a flicker of familiarity sparked within your mind, recognizing them in some inexplicable way.

Your eyesight was distorted, everything merging into a chaotic blend of vibrant hues. The agony persisted, relentless in its grip on your battered and contorted body. Yet, amidst the torment, it was Astarion’s embrace that offered a sliver of solace. But even in that fleeting respite, the metallic tang of blood clung to the air, its sticky residue coating his armor, a visceral reminder of the gruesome encounters he had endured.

“No amount of spells or potions is going to heal her in this accursed place.” Halsin spoke. “We must take her home.”

You could discern your love was sobbing as he clutched your almost lifeless frame. “I must make every one of these fuckers pay with their lives.”

“I will help you achieve that.” You heard Wyll’s voice. You could hear the others agreeing.

“Shadowheart and Halsin are the only ones who can save her.” You heard Gale say.

“Take her home, do what you can for her, please...” Astarion’s tone was pleading and desperate.

“By the Oak-Father’s blessing, you have my word.” Halsin answered. You could feel his burly arms taking you from Astarion’s, and he held you like a father would to his newborn child.

“Astarion...” Your voice whimpered.

“It is alright, my sweet darling, you are safe now. All will be well again. I will come home soon, I promise you. Let our big bear take you back.” He kissed your forehead softly before you heard him and the others leave the dank room. You could feel tears wetting your dry, crusted eyes again. You did not want him to go. But you could not stay there either.

Halsin muttered a few soft words, and you felt a warm embrace surround you both. The sound of faint whispers echoed in your ears, like a distant melody. As Halsin’s magic took effect, a subtle and mild numbness began to spread over your body, like a comforting blanket. The sensation caused a wave of euphoria to wash over you, releasing the tension from your weary, beaten muscles. Though it didn’t completely ease your condition, it created a feeling akin to being intoxicated, enveloping your mind in a gentle haze. Your vision became slightly hazy as your eyelids grew heavy, like lead weights. This time, the sensations were... pleasant.

A stark change from the relentless suffering you had just been put through.

Just before you fully slipped away, a warmth in your abdomen tingled like a small spark igniting in the dark of your stomach, and then you blacked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All Halsin could think about was getting you to your home so you could get the care you needed. You did not have long left, that was a certainty. Not if you remained in such a wretched environment. Astarion was livid, and not just with his hunger, but with his guilt for allowing such atrocities to happen to the woman who he had found his salvation in. You had brought him the very thing that had given meaning and hope to his eternal life: love, and a desire to find inner peace. That peace was something that seemed to elude him and the others now. There was something greater afoot, and it left Halsin troubled.

Just how had Faceless survived? You had destroyed her.

And you could recall nothing from your time in the cult? The knowledge you did have came from the tadpole.

Questions swirled about in Halsin’s mind and his brow furrowed at the very thought of the mysterious ordeal. However, once he had you nestled safely within your house, his focus shifted and all his thoughts became dedicated to aiding you as best he could.

Upon entering the room, Halsin gently set you upon the bed as if you were fine glass ready to shatter. Carefully, he peeled the cloak he had wrapped you in from your flesh, revealing every inch of the carnage that Faceless and the cult had left upon you.

He felt tears sting his eyes. The cruelty of what they had done to you was unfathomable. Shadowheart had already begun weeping at the sight of you and so went to prepare you a bath, a meal, and clean clothing. Halsin’s healing powers far surpassed her own, and she knew he needed the utmost concentration.

Sweeping his large hand over your body, he began whispering a prayer to the Oak-Father. Tendrils of glowing emerald wrapped around and caressed you in a deep, pleasant warmth. Your body slowly began to repair itself. As his hand moved over your lower abdomen, he halted. His hazel eyes shot open as he looked down at you in surprise, losing his concentration on the spell. He could feel the beginnings of life growing within you - one of the many gifts he had obtained as Archdruid. He placed a palm gently against your stomach and a genuine smile spread over his lips.

“There is one among the stars looking after you, and her strength will keep your tiny soul safe.”

He returned his focus to the prayer, hoping to repair every bit of damage that had been inflicted. It pained him deeply to see the broken face of his dear friend. Though the swelling had gone down somewhat and the gashes on your body had closed up, there were still numerous injuries.

“Will you be able to bring her round?” Halsin heard Shadowheart question from the doorway of your bathroom.

Halsin smiled over at her. “Her state is extremely dire, but I am hopeful.”

Shadowheart could see his work. It was making a marked difference to you.

You groaned after a short while, your consciousness slowly returning.

Shadowheart hurried to the bedside and touched your hand to let you know she was beside you. She also carefully tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

Your eyes fluttered and creaked open, their pupils shrinking from the candlelight of your bedchamber. Your skin felt as though it were still on fire. Every breath was agony to draw. The internal injuries would take quite a lot longer to fix, it would seem. You were exhausted, but were able to look upon the furrowed brows of worry of Halsin and Shadowheart, at least for a moment. Your head was throbbing from your inability to truly open your eyelids any further. You had not the strength to even turn your head. Your mind was full of fear for the life of your beloved, the ache in your heart amplified by the sound of his anguished voice still lingering in the back of your mind. It was all too much. Tears trickled down your pained features, their trails burning along your wounds as they fell.

Halsin stood slowly from the side of the bed and placed a gentle hand on your forehead. The overwhelming need for rest made it easy to pass out once more as soon as you shut your eyes.

Shadowheart removed her hand from yours as you slipped into an uneasy sleep.

“It may take quite some time for her to regain full consciousness,” Halsin mumbled, shaking his head.

“Was... is everything you said about the baby true, Halsin?” Shadowheart looked up to him, her eyes wearied. “I saw and heard what you said before, that one among the stars is keeping her tiny soul safe whilst you had your hand upon her stomach.”

Halsin nodded, a sad smile falling to his features. “I sensed the faint essence of life as I moved my healing towards her stomach.”

“How is such a thing possible?” Shadowheart tilted her head as she looked back down at you, her mind still grasping the concept.

“Have you ever heard of the Dhampir?” Halsin asked as he wrang the water from the cloth he was going to use to wipe your face.

“I... I have not...” she answered, her voice uncertain yet curious. “I can only assume that they are... half-vampires?”

“In a sense, yes,” Halsin nodded.

He placed the cool and damp cloth onto your forehead and laid his hand on your stomach once more. The very beginning of a barely visible mound had formed, making Shadowheart’s eyes widen in shock as she focused on it.

“She never mentioned that she was pregnant...”

“I have a feeling that she herself did not even know.” Halsin sighed. “From the blood that had been on her inner thighs, she had been menstruating, or so it seemed.” He removed his hand from your stomach and continued to wipe your face. “Her pregnancy could well have triggered her bleeding. It would not have been a true period of fertility if she were already carrying a babe. She bled, though; of that, there is no doubt.”

“What could cause such a thing, though?” Shadowheart queried further.

“Who knows?” Halsin mused and stared into the depths of the fire which burned in the hearth nearby. “It could be the stretching of the womb, or something more serious. I do not know enough about the pregnancies of potential Dhampir children. But the babe’s life essence seems strong and unharmed.”

“We know that she still lets Astarion feed from her from time to time... I wonder if... “ Shadowheart trailed off as she blushed.

The archdruid smirked and raised a curious eyebrow towards her. “Wondered if what?”

Shadowheart cleared her throat. “I wonder if her blood tasted any different.”

Halsin nodded as he pondered the thought. Shadowheart had a point.

“It is possible, but it is also possible that he thought nothing of it. It is not like either of them has been familiarised with such a situation before,” he laughed softly. Shadowheart couldn’t help the amused grin that formed on her own features.

“Well, as soon as they are familiarised... or perhaps we should suggest the matter?” She coughed slightly and looked down.

Halsin eyed Shadowheart curiously. “I think we should wait for Tav to regain her senses.”

Shadowheart looked him directly in the eyes, but her expression was filled with concern. “I am also worried that Faceless has suddenly returned … It cannot be a sheer coincidence, surely…”

Halsin stroked his chin, staring off into space for a second before gazing at her once more. “Indeed.”

They both looked back upon your form and then to the beautiful garden and river view beyond your balcony doors. Neither of them knew what other machinations were occurring behind the scenes. All the same, the thought left both Shadowheart and Halsin worried for your safety and that of the child.

#astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate fanfiction #astarion daddy #Astarion as a daddy #Astarion and Tav have a child #Nightfall heir #bg3 #dadstarion

[illwynd]

What direction would you have enjoyed most for Thor and Loki after TDW?

I recall in the long dry years between TDW and TR, a large part of the conversation in the fandom around this topic was on how pissed off Thor would be when he learned that Loki hadn’t actually died and had kept that fact from him (or “faked his death,” however you wanna phrase it) and how much trust would have to be rebuilt. And there is definitely that aspect of it. I think there was trust that needed to be rebuilt on both sides, in fact, and many long-overdue conversations about everything that had gone wrong to get them to that point. Conversations about Loki’s ancestry and his miscalculation with the Destroyer and all the questions Thor didn’t ask when Loki reappeared and not visiting him in the cells and ancient resentments and so many other things. 

But most of the fandom, in the discussions I’ve seen, seems to have been hoping for resolution between them, for things to get all healed and tied up in a tidy little bow and have their character arcs just ride off into the sunset and… yeah, I don’t want that. I never wanted that. There is way too much emphasis these days on “healthy” and “wholesome” and, goddamn, like what are y’all doing looking at these two if you’re looking for therapist-approved wellbeing? You’re digging in the wrong place. (Something that I feel is carried over from Norse mythology into their characters is the idea that there is value and importance in lives that don’t have a Happily Ever After, worlds ending in destruction and final defeat but with a deep integrity to what mattered. The world doesn’t promise healing. Sometimes, living with the knowledge that things will not be fixed in the end but it all matters anyway, and the connections between people matter, and the ability to find flickering moments of joy amidst the sorrows… to me that is far better, far more fitting to who they are than any tidy, happy resolution could ever be.)

One of the things that I love about many of their comics arcs is the sense that while things do change between them over time, with different emphases coming into focus and into prominence, there is an essence to both of them that keeps them in perpetual conflict and ALSO keeps the love strong enough that neither of them ever wants to go their separate ways permanently. They both have their own lives, with Thor doing his best at heroing and Loki doing his best at being himself, but Their Relationship is a constant, and it’s nobody else’s business, and whether they’re on opposite sides in their daily lives doesn’t really factor into it. 

So basically, in my ideal world in which phase 3+ didn’t suck, TR would have involved some of those long-overdue conversations and some working together against a bigger bad, but the kiss-and-make-up would have been incomplete, like an unresolved chord at the end of a phrase of music. Loki would have disappeared again but this time making sure Thor knew he wasn’t dead, and he’d have popped up again from time to time, always with uncertain allegiances, to have a few poignant interactions with Thor, or to absolutely destroy some big bad that’s threatening Thor’s life but in the meantime doing something that makes it seem like he got some material gain out of doing so (just to keep everyone on their toes), and if anyone questions this in Thor’s presence you’d get a very stormy look and a subtle suggestion that he doesn’t have to be slumming it on Earth. 

Loki would be there to be The Most Important Person in Thor’s life even when he’s not physically present, and the niggling itch that never quite goes away from the fact that things aren’t resolved and may be unresolvable. (Having a relationship like that—where it is possible or likely that things can’t be fixed—is actually really important to telling Thor stories that have emotional weight. Resolving the relationship or making the question null through death cuts off so many of the important questions that cling to Thor in themes and resonances. To a character who embodies the virtue of striving for heroism and goodness, an unquenchable love for such a liminal character as Loki, whose moral standing flits all across the field at any given moment, and having Thor see that not as a problem, as a liability or an inconsistency but instead as a value in itself—that keeps Thor from becoming an insufferable, inflexible moral pedant.) And Thor—Loki’s love and devotion to Thor, mingled with his resentment of him and the lingering frayed edges of his trust and the centuries-old anger and desire to win against him just once—would be there to rest like a base color underpainted beneath everything Loki does in his schemes and clever workings and, a gnarled anchor or a rusted root, keep him from wandering too far afield.

And, I mean, they’re gods. If you carry any story on long enough it ends in death, but in a story of superheroes and modern legends, the gods should still be there in the end, at the edge of the tale, perhaps, but continuing nonetheless, spinning against the stars, the huge half-invisible shadows of giants bordering the far horizon, the cycles of their lives so much longer than ours.

#replies #anon #ty for the ask anon! #grand unified theory of loki #theories of thunder #sorry this was not plot details but general gists and moods #TR and everything after annoys me so much my brain just won't work with those materials

[superectojazzmage]

Of everything that happens in the new issue of Immortal Thor, this scene stands out the most to me as something I feel will be one of the most important scenes of both the issue and the run as a whole.

In the very beginning of gods, of Earth, of humanity, of stories, among the very first incarnations of the archetypes that Thor and Loki embody - the mighty warrior and the devious trickster - see each other and immediately get into a fight out of sheer revulsion of everything their twin stands for.

Good vs evil. Light vs dark. Order vs chaos. Brawn vs brain. Control vs freedom. Life vs death. Fate vs choice. Peace vs war. Mundanity vs magic. Law vs crime. Creation vs destruction. Love vs hate. And many more. Clashing opposites, battling for supremacy. A cycle of violence and debate passed down the generations, from father to son, mentor to student, predecessor to successor, and so on. Brother waging battle against brother just to prove a point, to fulfill their role in the story. An ideological blood feud applied to archetypes and titles and narratives. Trickling all the way down into it's present expression... Thor and Loki.

Already it's clear that cycles of this sort are going to be a very large theme of Immortal Thor. The concept of recurrences and stories being retold over the years have been talked about a lot by the narrator. The comic goes to great lengths to draw attention to how Thor and his cast and, by extension, their own world in the form of comics are falling into patterns that transcend through time. And I feel that's going to be the crux of a great deal of the plot.

Loki hates the cycle. In their roles as both the goddess of stories and the god of mischief, they abhor stagnation and repetition. They want to be free of the roles "assigned" by the narrative. They want to be free of the debate, the never-ending battle of good and evil that ha destroyed their family time and again. Thor would want to be free of it too, if he realized he were part of it. But he struggles to do so. He's a rock in the sea of time. A god among mortals, a child of two worlds watching in confusion and grief as his human friends age and change and die around him while his divine brothers and sisters continue to stay the same. In this, they are trying to do what Gaea wanted to do but couldn't; to break the cycle.

Toranos and Utgard-Loki don't want to break the cycle. They ARE the cycle. Embodiments of the sins of the forefathers carrying down to their children. Representations of the archetypes of Thors and Lokis at their absolute worst, shorn of all true depth and compassion and true belief in their aspects in favor of continuing the godforsaken argument. Shades of the old festering in the blood of the young, infesting them with their baggage, holding them back from growing better, and lashing out at them when the new generations fail to meet the standards of the elders. And they may not even realize they're doing so.

This isn't the first time this theme has come up in Al Ewing's work.

Immortal Hulk presents the conflict between the Hulk and his archenemy, the Leader, as a similar generational feud. Both in a literal familial sense (the Banner and Sterns families being divided and warring after Robert and Samuel Sterns turn on each other) and a larger ideological sense (people using the power of gamma for good or ill, going all the way to the first Hulk being born from a leader's selfish desire to misuse magic as a tool of conquest). Sometimes the thoughtful man is the hero, sometimes the brute is. But they always fight. Senselessly and pointlessly. And the Green Door and the horror it brings was only stopped... by breaking the cycle. By defying it. By Hulk choosing to never sink to Leader's level, or those of his predecessors, and instead choose to forgive.

And Ewing makes clear cycles and wars spanning centuries like this are common in the Marvel Universe. The Eternity Mask is passed down generations of men and women, always fighting for freedom against those who would deny it. Nick Fury passes his name and identity and role onto his son. There's always an Ant Man, inheriting their predecessor's problems, and there's always an Ultron, trying to claim dominion. Arakko and Krakoa alike are divided between those who hold to the old ways and those who seek new ways. Ebony and Ivory Kings do their work, from within and without. On and on, the wheels turn.

It even goes back to the very beginning. To prior multiverses. All tracing back to the first super battle, the first superhero and first supervillain - Lifebringer-One and Anti-All, the cosmic knight and the entropic dragon - fighting for the fate of the nascent world.

Effectively, Ewing views and represents the narratives of superhero comics as we know them, as a sort of repeating song. The metatextual commentary is that all this has happened before and will happen again, because humanity will always dream of heroes battling monsters. There will always be a knight and a dragon. A warrior and a trickster. A superhero and a supervillain.

But he also acknowledges how this can go too far. How comics can fall into stagnating loops of repeating stories and stall status quos. Spider-Men being denied their stories because editors want to live in nostalgia instead of the now. X-Men getting their progress towards coexistence undone because writers can't handle change.

And this is all what Immortal Thor is about and will be about. The struggle for balance between opposites and extremes. Cyclical narratives and worlds. Ideas and stories being inherited and passed on. And all of it a commentary on comic books themselves and their history and role in culture.

It's brilliant stuff.

#immortal thor #the immortal thor #thor #mighty thor #thor odinson #loki #loki laufeyson #marvel #marvel comics #marvel 616 #earth 616 #marvel universe #al ewing #comic books #comics #media analysis #character analysis

[hallucie]

Astro Observation 7

✨Saturn conjunct moon✨

This Native struggles to express emotions. I believe this is due to the mother of the native carrying a lot of responsibility or none at all— in the sense where the native is held responsible for their mother or their mothers emotions. The native could be bound to the caretaking of their parent or oppositely denied by their parent altogether, left to feel isolated.

I’ve also seen with Aries Saturn Moon conjunction that the mother holds back true discipline from the child. The child/Native felt more harm from their mother due to lack of boundaries and therefore grew up to carry low self esteem. It is important for a parent to create guidelines and structure to ensure that the child feels safe in their environment. This specific placement played out as a young boy being sent to a boys home/ structured youth facility due to a lack of control over his own emotions. Thus the facility was the one who “mothered” him because his true mother was unable to create structure for his combative emotional reactions.

✨Mercury conjunct Pluto✨

These natives grew up feeling like they were never heard. As they age they often find themselves in arguments where they come off as controlling. They often unconsciously force others to agree with whatever perception they view reality to be. These Natives struggle to see others perspectives. I think that this stems from their inability to let go of their own way of thinking, or their own view of their reality. They loathe anyone who challenges their views, even if their views aren’t based on factual evidence. They often have a hard time letting go of communication with someone and or letting go of a thought (obsessing over an idea as if it were true). This also hints about wanting to be the last to speak in a conversation or controlling a conversation over all. another thing to take into consideration is that these natives are great at keeping secrets, regardless or not whether these secrets harm anyone that is up to the native to decipher. 

✨Sun conjunct Pluto✨

My way or the highway type of individuals (Jada Pinkett Smith). Most often only doing/wanting things if it benefits them. Has a hard time compromising with others, I see this most often as being unable to let go of one’s ego which often clashes with their desire to be a leader. Because leaders are expected to think of others before themselves so long as it does not make them susceptible to group manipulation. The Natives father was most likely seen as overbearing or even powerful in a way— Some could even say destructive. I would see this aspect as the Natives father being selfish or domineering. The personality of this native can also shadow a sense of overbearing and or an unwillingness to change who they are for anyone else. Secrets about this native, if brought to the surface, may pose a threat. As for Jada P. Smith, people went from loving her to despising her. Sadly this native will spend their whole lives constantly shedding who they are as individuals and are forced to loosen their grip on their innermost desires.

✨Sun conjunct Jupiter✨

I actually don’t mind this aspect although others may see it as someone being “too big for their britches”. Often times people can see this as the native having a giant ego, or having so much faith in themselves that it rubs others the wrong way. To me I see this aspect as being a child at heart, or a childlike sense of faith/wonder in themselves. Others can tend to despise the native for being optimistic— one can only be so optimistic until it becomes annoying. On the positive side this aspect can encourage others to fully view themselves as positive beings and to share optimism/faith with those around them so that they may be as lucky as the Sun+Jupiter native.

✨Moon opposition Mercury✨

These natives struggle with “head over heart” or vice versa. Their logic of the situation goes against how the native feels about handling it. Under stressful conditions the native may either respond in logic/reasoning or in an emotional outburst. In response to an emotional outburst others may view the native as selfish or emotionally manipulative. But this is not at all the case, most often times the natives emotions cloud their own ability to clearly understand the reality of their issue— which may cause terrible setbacks. In reversal if the native only comprehends their logical mind and ignores all emotion they may feel as if life is very meaningless and dull. As a result these natives spend most if not all of their lives learning how to bring the two opposing forces together.

#astrology #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #astro posts #mercury #moon #pluto #sun #saturn #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #Virgo #Libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #jupiter

[alienssstufff]

Hello! Could you tell me more about Charlie being a heart player in your Homestuck AU? I'm really interested to see your thought process ahuu (P.S. LOVE YOUR ART IT'S ADORABLE!!! 💖💫)

Sure! I've already spoken about him HERE though consider this current ask as a deeper dive now that we know more about him.

SLIME AND THE HEART ASPECT

To define: the Heart aspect concerns itself with identity and emotional intuition, and how one views themselves. Ironically enough Heart concerns with the mind itself in contrast to its opposite the Mind that deals with rational thinking, and the persona that one consciously puts on for the world. Wwhwh which is why I like comparing q!Slime (heart-player) and q!Quackity (mind-player) so much because while they are in ways similar, their places of concern are very different.

"They simply want to understand the one thing we all are stuck with for our entire lives, i.e. our own minds." -- Hiveswap Extended Zodiac

About Slime he's a very emotionally driven person with everything he does he puts his all into it, and those motivations often originate from how he feels about the situation. Big examples being HIS love for his daughter, HIS resentment for his wife back during the trial, and while these motivations involve other people. If it weren't for any outside intervention, a lot of the decisions he makes are absolute, thinking if he were to do things like kill the other eggs out of love and sacrifice q!Mariana because he couldn't forgive what she did, not to mention send HIMSELF into eggxile because he hates himself - that these solutions were his only way out. His determination is both his strength and his flaw in the sense his thinking can be so clouded by the one emotion - and that's what makes him such a Heart-player.

"Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story." - Hiveswap Extended Zodiac

A/N: these next parts as go more in depth about Slime and relationships with other people with a dash of classpect lingo in there. The answer is above you, you do not need to read anything below ToT [ more undercut ]

Other than his emotions, identity (like Heart-players do) to Slime's character is also very important when thinking about him and the problems that stem from his self-image. It is the reason why Gegg exists to Slime as this separate entity - similar to what splinters are to Dirk Strider, Gegg is a division of Slime. I've spoken about Gegg and Slime's roles in under THIS thread, an extract:

Gegg is not only a coping mechanism but the part of him that still wishes to be loved- and when he is it’s addicting but it comes at a price for his honesty (and his literal voice). When he is Gegg there is a unique way he carries himself - he’s confident, ambitious, and a little silly the kind of thing that draws everyone near and he does so because he’s new. Charlie has messed up so many times he feels like a lost cause, and becoming Gegg exists as his second shot at life crime-free. Gegg is the part of Slime that embodies his desires, and Charlie is the part that represents what he believes he needs…. Or smth like that.

SLIME AND THE HEIR CLASS

(debunk) Alternatively Slime could also be a Prince of Heart (one that destroys the self) though based on peer review on that classpect's goals, I feel pinning Slime's goal as 'destroying heart' is a little too morbid for his story. Mind, you being a Prince of Heart isn't completely a BAD thing - I just don't feel destruction of heart is neither the right message or answer for Slime's problems. Furthermore, Slime does not ghost his opposing aspect (Mind) like the prince class usually does, Slime is NOT a rational thinker -- he is moved by the heart more than anything. A/N: 'ghosting' in classpect terms means to appear as the player's opposing aspect on surface level. Eg from the surface Dirk elicits Mind characteristics when in reality he is Heart. (LOL I just learnt what this was today)

Which leads to Slime's association as an Heir of Heart instead. This is the ability to invite the manipulation of the heart, and in other words quite literally become their aspect (yknow typical Slimecicle PC behaviour).

Slime being an Heir of Heart means he is easily swayed by his emotion as it changes constantly to new situations like from the Trial, to Eggxile, to the Elections and so on. He is also very empathetic to others and it is the way that he cares about them is what influences the choices he makes based on what HE thinks is best for the situation NOT because someone else told him to.

Notes from outside sources: "An Heir of Heart would have an amazingly well developed sense of compassion and empathy, and in fact may find it hard not to empathize with even the most evil and hurtful of people." -dahniwitchoflight This part connects especially to his friendship with Quackity (both of them), that while he was suspicious of his intentions throughout the debate Slime still sympathises with Quackity because he is his friend and the history they share goes too deep to abandon (psycho4psycho solidarity). Same goes for Slime and q!Foolish during the election debates. He doesn't hold any grudges for him when he understands that his apprehension stems from fear (something Slime has felt many times before).

"ASURA: The Heir of Heart is naturally protected by their splinters. The Heir’s splinters would exist as unruly spirit-like guardians who look out for them. In times of need the Heir can make physical manifestations of their splinters" - creative-classpect I absolutely love this take on splinters and heirs! Especially with Gegg in a way he to Slime acts as a guardian Slime will turn to him on the defensive. Honestly the ideal relationship between Slime and Gegg we might not ever see u_u

"The Heir of Heart is one who inspires change in the emotions and souls of others. They cause people’s emotional state to change for the better. Bringing out good emotions and allowing people to express their inner and true selves." - classpector

Looking more into Gegg's story during the Election arc we see examples of this power through his debates. His speeches inspiring change and consolation amongst other candidate runners to rally against the Federation. Yet at the same time these speeches can evoke fear, bringing out their true nature - like Foolish trying to shoot him, ElQuackity despite being a political rival instinctually diving to protect Gegg, influence on q!BBH to push through his paranoia and support Gegg while he was still in the running thus making that care package. Gegg was able to inspire those around him, and in the long run inspire Slime to one day love and accept every part of himself.

DAPDUO and Psicologoier Therapy Session: An interaction I think often about being the interaction between Slime and q!Roier (Melissa) during the therapy session with Quackity and how well it represents the difference in interactions between two Heart-players (Heir and Witch) and also how well it's a juxtaposition on where these two characters are in life despite having the same aspect. [You can read about q!Roier's classpect HERE]

QUACKITY: Well maybe her (Melissa) more than anybody can understand us. SLIME: Melissa, do you ever think feel like you wanna be someone else? MELISSA: No :3 SLIME: Do you ever wish that you could ever get a fresh start? MELISSA: No ^_^ SLIME: Do you ever think you could be sexy Peter Griffin? I do... MELISSA: Nope! x]c SLIME: Do you ever feel like everyone hates you - because everyone like tells you that they hate you no matter who you try to be it's always wrong? MELISSA: Hm actually! Nope! :D

On one hand for personas such as Melissa, Roier is very attuned to them and works alongside them - whilst with Slime and Gegg it was a constant struggle to maintain control and cooperation until the very end as there were characteristics in both Gegg and Slime that Slime was struggling to accept.

SLIME: WELL MY HOUSE WAS ALREADY ROBBED. I GOT ROBBED OF A DAUGHTER. SO NOW I TRY TO FIND MEANING IN ANYWAY I CAN AND RIGHT NOW THATS FUCKING GEGG. SO IM SORRY IF IM NOT THE SON YOU WANTED ME TO BE!

SLIME: Everyone hates me. Every single person on the server I tried I tried and they all hate Gegg.

Oh shit and also:

SLIME: But... What if there's a chance Gegg really could make a friend, and that takes it away? QUACKITY: Gegg has one friend already - Quackity. SLIME: Then Gegg... Will help the friend that loves Gegg.

Evidence that as a Heir of Heart Slime's emotions can be easily swayed. This comes up again after the QSMP Dinner with ElQuackity showing the difference between the motivations between someone of Heart and someone of Mind who recognises the vulnerability of Heart.

I'm sure there's more things to unpack with that session, not just for Slime but for Quackity and Roier as well and 100% recommend watching it for yourself. Grabbed these from the QuackitytooVODS channel and the session starts at the 1:01:50 mark.

Did an analysis on Dapduo in THIS ask which while doesn't reference classpects it alludes to their dynamic as Heart and Mind.

If you made it this far: congratulations. I'm so sorry.

#ask stufff #stufff rambles #(like a lot. be careful) #slimecicle #classpect #qsmp #qsmpblr #insanely long maybe I'll draw a picture for your troubles one day my bad XP #i love qSlime a lot ok

[ignitesthestxrs]

it is funny that I think i would have fully agreed with you if i had only read the grisha trilogy but the first book i ever read of the entire grishaverse was demon in the wood lmao. then i read the trilogy and then kos too. but i still agree with the 'he was incapable of making the world a better place' argument but disagree with the 'he never wanted to' because i think he did but not in the heroic 'i will give up anything to make the world better' but in the 'i will make the world better by ruling it and sometimes when i make choices so selfish that they don't align with the make world better thing at all i will explain them away as necessary and go by my day'. i also think his psychology kinda has a right to be fucked up (as his initial motivation has been set up to make a safe sanctuary for grisha and then he saw persecution for so long and all of those things with kings and what not would make most people fucked up) but that doesn't mean anyone else has to carry that burden. alina had full right to defend herself and the people and did right by not making aleksander more powerful because the result would have been even more destruction. i think he did some things with double motives: the second army was for the benefit of grisha as well as his own. he also wanted people's love because he thought he deserved it for all of his sacrifices for them.

it does seem that you have misinterpreted what i've said.

obviously i don't have an eidetic memory of every post i've ever made about the darkling over the years, but in the post i reblogged today and the ask i answered, i didn't say that he never wanted to?

the interesting point of tension in the character is the difference between what he says he wants, and what his actions show he wants. the man is lying to everyone, including himself. do i believe that when he was a teenager being persecuted for his power, he wanted to make the world a better place for grisha? sure, but 800 years have passed since then and he is literally the most powerful grisha in the world. he can cut people in half with his willpower. he has actively made the world worse - he has certainly made ravka worse.

he is not interested in saving grisha, he is interested in bending the world to his will in the name of saving grisha. this is the excuse he uses for himself, and it's the thing he tells alina, and also the world, in order to try to convince people that his atrocities are justified. but he will discard and kill any grisha who stands against him, he will cause a civil war between grisha within ravka because he can't stand the idea of grisha have safety, power, or agency without him.

he doesn't want to save the grisha, he wants to own them. i do think you can say that he wants to create a place where grisha can't be persecuted by non-grisha, but also he had 800 years as the darkling to implement a strategy, and the idea he came up with was 'weaponise the fold so the world is so terrified of my superweapon that they'll do anything i say'.

a really important part of reading comprehension is parsing the difference between what a character says and what they do. another important aspect is understanding that a well-written character will like, change. the events that motivate the darkling in Demon in the Woods are different then what is motivating him in the original trilogy, because in that time he has gone from being a persecuted teenage boy, to being the power behind the throne who has devastated his kingdom and is in control of an entire army. yes, his childhood trauma informs and animates a lot of his decision making, and obviously forms a core part of his character, but the character has had other experiences since then that have formed additional aspects of his character. Demon in the Woods doesn't rewrite what he did in the trilogy, it adds additional context to show us how he got to be the particular type of dude he is when we see him in the books.

i would also push back against the idea that he wants 'love'. he could have had love! alina loves him, such as she is able to when he's trying to destroy everything she knows lol. he doesn't want love, he wants devotion. he wants unwavering loyalty. that's why he put a collar on her, and why he ultimately loses his mind over her opposing him instead of just holding out for another human lifespan.

like sure you can make the argument that his understanding of what love is is flawed, which, sure. i think he can want love ambiently, in the 'it would be nice to be loved' sense. but his own actions show that, when asked to choose between love and power, he'll choose power every time. so like, does he want love? maybe, i guess, but not more than he wants power. not more than he wants to be able to control alina, and his mother, and ravka, and the world.

again, that tension is the interesting thing about the character. he says one thing, but does something that disproves the thing he says. that's the manipulation, not only of alina, but of the reader. he wants so badly for everyone to believe that he's righteous and good and the only person who knows what the world really needs, he's even convinced himself of that to a degree. but the second things escape his control even a little bit, he proves himself a liar, because his goals immediately pivot to getting that control back.

a villain doesn't have to believe he's a villain to behave like one. the darkling is a pretty classic manipulative, abusive kind of character who will make every bad thing he did a reasonable action that someone - typically alina - pushed him into. she made him burn down that orphanage. he never would have attacked the prince's birthday party if she had just come with him quietly. if she hadn't run away from him, he never would have collared her. if she didn't love mal, he wouldn't have tried to kill him. if she would just behave then he wouldn't have to hurt her like this. he's doing this for the sake of the world, don't you see? you don't? fine. make him your villain. he'll make that sacrifice if it means getting his way saving ravka. he's the only person in the world willing to do what it takes.

eventually you'll see.

#grisha meta #what year is it

[poppyandzena]

I have BPD and am in treatment. I have undergone some strategies to stop having a FP or idealizing this concept in my life. Having a favorite person can be destructive for the person with BPD and the FP. It can be better for your overall health in finding ways to cope and distance yourself from normalizing the feeling of limerence and obssession.

It's not fair for anyone in your life to be treated like this without warning, they did not ask to be a FP either, and dang, I think NF did her best given the situation. It's so unfair of Poppy to demand to be enabled in her possessive behavior; people with BPD can be manipulative too. Not because of the illness, but ill people can be shitheads too. And guess what, you need to apologize for being a shithead, even if you have a condition.

"For those with BPD, the FP is the person they rely on for their comfort, happiness, and validation. This means they are over-involved with every aspect of their life; they will find any excuse to spend time with their FP, and their entire future is contingent on the presence of this one individual. 

But since there aren’t healthy boundaries, the BPD person’s clinginess and constant need for attention becomes smothering. 

A BPD person’s relationship with their FP will affect their mood, confidence, self-worth, and sense of security. To summarize, the FP unknowingly carries all the responsibility for the BPD person’s happiness and well-being with them."

https://www.soberish.co/how-to-stop-having-a-bpd-favorite-person/

Thank you for the information 🧡 I am an FP and it is a much different relationship than having a best friend. No one is entitled to have an FP. And FPs aren't required to enjoy or put up with the dynamic. I am very lucky to be the FP of a kind, understanding individual who works hard to improve their circumstances. It takes a lot of communication.

Being an FP of Poppy is provably exhausting, smothering, and emotionally unhealthy. This is because Poppy puts the responsibility of her health onto people she barely knows and makes unrealistic demands. Poppy is STILL pissed that NF didn't cut her partners off for Poppy's sake, a woman NF only knew for a few months. There's a refusal to engage in self-awareness and humility that will make Poppy suffer for as long as she keeps it up.

#poppy #nf

[classpect-crew]

If you could choose any player to add to the canon beta kids’ session that would have helped them out massively, what would their classpect be and why? What about the alpha kids’ session?

This is a really interesting question! It's difficult for me to really say, with regards to the Beta kids' session, since their session did run about as smoothly as one could imagine, aside from the outside forces that made things go so utterly awry. Dave kept things fairly tight with the timelines, especially as he began to quickly correct his own missteps, though his biggest weakness was his constant fight to establish a true, authentic identity. John's ascent to true Hero status was complimented by his love for his friends, and he greatly impacted the trajectory of their lives even as he was "doing his own thing." His biggest challenges, from what I recall, came whenever his freedom was severely restricted, though the best example of this was his time spent on the three-year universe-spanning trip. Rose had some very unique struggles with her Classpect, but ultimately came out of it with an incredible breadth of knowledge and experience—not to mention a true appreciation for Void, Light's opposite. Jade also faced her own demons—including her prototyped dreamself, which forced her to come face-to-face with the things she hated most about herself.

In truth, a Hero of Heart would've likely helped things go a little smoother in the "identity and self-reflection" department, but this would not be without its own risks. This session was made up of three Passive players (Heir, Seer, and Knight) and one Active (Witch), though Rose attempted to shift that balance during much of her time pre-Scratch as she inverted to the Witch of Void. Given the time it took for Jade to grow into her power, it makes sense that the balance felt even more misaligned for some time. That said, they may have benefited from a Heart player with an Active Class—one whose journey toward self-actualization would at least inspire others, even if they don't go out of their way to play therapist.

Speaking of Classes, a Prince of Heart is out of the question. Their destruction of Heart would not bode well for a session that desperately needs more, and Dave suffered enough at the hands of Bro, who carries all the qualities of his post-Scratch Classpect, plus the influence of Caliborn/Lord English through Lil Cal. (More on that another time.) A Thief of Heart would also be inadvisable, for fairly obvious reasons. If the team needed another powerhouse, a Witch of Heart wouldn't be a terrible idea, but Witches are known for having powerful familiars (such as Becquerel and Gl'bgolyb) that often overpower the will of their Witch in the early game. The Page, Maid, and Mage could all fit the role well, particularly if they're likeable enough. This wouldn't be a problem for a Page of Heart, who would have an uncanny magnetism that might just pull the team through a little quicker toward self-actualization.

As for the Alpha kids, if we're taking into consideration the fated expansion of the Beta and Alpha sessions into one big eight-player session, then Space and Time players aren't necessary, so we don't have to worry about those. (I do, however, have some fun ideas about what might've happened if Roxy had attempted to create a Genesis Frog using the same principle she did for the Matriorb, by "stealing" its nonexistence, and how she'd be the best candidate to do so, due to her Class and her Aspect's placement in the Wheel. I'd like to keep this from becoming a thesis paper, though.) The Alpha session had the opposite problem of the Beta session: three Active players (Maid, Prince, and Page) and one Passive player (Rogue). Since Maids start out with a more Passive lean, this is where we see the initial illusion of "balance" coming from. By the end, though, it's obvious that we've got too many motherfucking cooks in this motherfucking kitchen, and every single one of them is putting up a front of some kind, as if you could win a prize for being the most emotionally opaque player in a session. What they really, truly need is someone who will inspire them to sit down and be real with each other—someone who can help them cut through the noise, and also make sure Roxy isn't the one saddled with holding the friend group together. Someone like...the Sylph of Blood.

We've seen what the power of a Blood player can look like, even without ascending to God Tier. Karkat was a tour de force as the Knight of Blood, uniquely capable of keeping the members of his session in line long enough to almost win the damn thing. This is even more impressive when you consider that he and his friends were members of a violent species whose society was developed with limitless cruelty baked into every system and institution. Even worse—they were teenagers. While there's certainly no reason why a Knight of Blood couldn't have helped the Alpha kids, Knights are known to put up fronts of their own in order to protect themselves. That's the last thing the Alpha kids need. A Sylph, meanwhile, would be just as skilled at encouraging the kind of raw emotional honesty their session desperately needs, while also being more likely to show their own vulnerable side. Whether they do this by sitting everyone down for mandatory group therapy sessions, or spend much of their session browbeating their teammates to just fucking talk to each other, is up to the individual Sylph. Pick your poison.

#classpect #classpect analysis #homestuck #beta kids #alpha kids #heart #heart aspect #blood #blood aspect #lord almighty it's been like...almost three hours since i started writing this? #i ended up looking at some of the wiki pages for null sessions and glitches. shit like that #i'd love to come back to these posts later and add some helpful links

[linkspooky]

When it comes to Shigaraki I can't help but think of Carrie White because they both have very similar circumstances. The only differences is that Carrie was also bullied at school and Shigaraki was kidnapped by AFO when he was a child.

You're not wrong for seeing those parallels Beako from Umineko. While I doubt Shigaraki was inspired by Carrie in any way, their character beats resemble each other. They both are examples of what I call a "Dark Phoenix Arc". Time for some more comparative media analysis, here's a brief history lesson in comic books.

What is a Dark Phoenix Arc?

The Dark Phoenix Saga commonly refers to the story in Uncanny X-Men #129 - 138 of Jean Grey's corruption by the power of the Phoenix and the Hellfire Club. It was considered incredibly shocking for its time. One thing to note is while Jean Grey is famous nowadays, in early X-Men she was the weakest character and her role was basically limited to "The Woman" of the team.

Elevating the helpless damsel woman to the most powerful member of the team, if not the entire universe and then having her turn evil had never been done before. It was a jaw-dropping shock at the time. The equivalent now would be if Horikoshi suddenly had Uraraka kill AFO, get a massive power-up, turn and start massacring the heroes.

The basic format of the Dark Phoenix arc, is a formerly seemingly harmless character is handed a massive power that corrupts them from the inside out. The moral of course being if someone like Jean Grey one of the most sensitive and caring of the X-Men can be corrupted and turned against her friend then who can't? Much like Carrie, and much like Tomura it's about the slow chipping away of their humanity.

Jean receives a power upgrade in the form of the phoenix, and the sheer might of her power begins to scare her. At the same time outside forces in the form of the Hellfire Club begin to tamper with her mind, because they wish to claim that power for themselves. This is generally the start of any Dark Phoenix arc, a character suddenly being gifted a great power, but outside forces attempt to control them and how they use that power. For Jean Grey it's the Hellfire club tampering with her mind. Another important part of Carrie's life isnt' that she's bullied, she also has an incredibly religious mother at home who controls every aspect of her life including her body and sexuality. Shigaraki is immediately found by AFO who grooms him into using that power to harm others because that fits AFO's agenda of creating a symbol of chaos.

They are also, routinely dehumanized by these people. The HellFire club doesn't care about Jean Grey they only want the phoenix, she is reduced to her powers. Shigaraki too, continually has his agency sapped away by AFO over the course of his arc, until it's revealed AFO really only ever saw him as a vessel to put his massive amount of quirks and the consciousness that came with it into. Carrie is regularly dehumanized by her mother, and the people around her.

What chips away at these characters is really the slow sapping of their agency away from them, they are not treated as people who are capable of making their own choices.

This concept of agency is a pretty big theme in these arcs, because really for all three characters they are not taught to handle the massive power they are given in any healthy way. For example, Shigaraki's decay ability does not have to be destructive, think how helpful it would be as a rescue hero if he could clear debris from a disaster in an instant. Carrie isn't really taught to suppress her power, but she does repress herself continually, by just enduring bullying and her home life without ever defending herself or lashing out.

They do not attempt to learn their power, or try to control it, they instead fear it. That's part of the inherent tragedy of the arcs, powers that they could have learned to use responsibly if they just embraced both them, and their own agency as people instead go haywire and take control of them.

A part of the ambiguity of the Dark Phoenix arc is how much of Jean Grey's slow decline is really the influence of the Phoenix, or the Hellfire club, and how much is aspects of Jean Grey's personality that were usually repressed just coming to the surface. Carrie for example isn't an inhuman monster, she's a bullied kid. Bullying is a common experience a lot of people endure, so of course wanting to lash out against your bullies is an understandable emotoin. Jean Grey was a complex human being, a collection of good and bad traits, but the more power she attained the more her bad traits begin to surface.

That's the most surprising aspect of this arc, and why most of the other X-Men did not see Jean Gray's downfall coming despite early warning signs like this, because lots of people, but especially superheroes tend to simplify people into good or bad people. Carrie remains largely sympathetic for most of the story because she is seen as a victim, and victims in most stories are Cinderella, they endure without lashing out until the bullies are cosmically punished.

Jean Grey was until that point a character who's only real personality trait was "the woman" and "the nice girl" and "Scott's girlfriend" and it was an age of superhero comics where superheroes are always the good guys. My point being that this slow fall into darkness is also something that challenges our notion of what good and bad is, because most people see good people as people who do good things all the time. A good person wouldn't do that, that's a bad person thing. Whereas, by starting with a person that is mostly good with a few negative traits and showing their slow downfall we understand how people can be pushed to act this way.

Jean Grey's primary reason for corruption is the Hellfire club, and the nature of the phoenix itself corrupting her but one thing people miss in the original conflict is the Phoenix isn't good or evil, it just is. It's a neutral force that gets corrupted, partly because for a long time Jean was pressured by people around her in her life to not use her powers but instead seal them away. This gives Jean a really unhealthy relationship to her own powers, and once she starts sliding she uses them more and more because she hasn't been taught how to use her powers only repress them.

Once again the connection to Tomura. Shimura Tenko had a power that was not necessarily dangerous if he was taught how to control it, but instead what happened was he lost control of it once and not a single person helped him. Afterwards he became convinced the reason no one came to save him was that his power was evil, and then groomed AFO to believe that his own decaying power was proof of an internal evil born inside of him and much like Jean instead of using that power responsibly because he was never taught to do that he instead abuses that power as a part of a cycle of lashing out.

At first Dark Phoenix seems like a simple, the hero is getting mind controlled by the bad guys, we need to defeat them and bring our friend back from Mind Control. A pretty standard comic book arc. The real twist is that the mind control is really just the domino that sets things in motion. Jean becomes the Black Queen and the Hellfire club's plan succeeds for awhile, the X-Men come to her rescue, it seems like it's going to be a simple case of freeing her from her control and then this happens...

Jean forcibly reclaims herself from the member of the HellFire club trampling with her mind, she breaks the mind control, but by that point it's too late and everything is already in motion. Jean Grey completely snaps with no outside influence and becomes phoenix.

It's important to note that Jean isn't really possessed by the power, the same way she was as the Black Queen of the Hellfire club. Rather it's clear even as she attacks the X-Men that some elements of her humanity are still there, but she's flipped she is now suppressing her humanity and becoming her power.

This is Jean Grey's Carrie burning down the school gym moment. This is when Shigaraki announces that all he wants is to destroy.

They become their power, and throw away their own humanity and try to be something like natural forces of destruction, like tornados, like earthquakes, they don't think, they're just random destruction. Their humanity has been denied for so long they now apply that dehumanization to themselves.

The crux of the Dark Phoenix arc is how preventable this all is, if someone had intervened earlier. Tomura's decay did not have to be destructive as it was, he dreamed of being a hero. Jean Grey was mostly a well-intentioned person suddenly given too much power and not only did no one teach her to control it, she was exploited and had her free will sapped away from her by outside forces. The bullying in Carrie could have been prevented by one person standing up for her.

Someone began to laugh, a solitary, affrighted hyena sound and she did open her eyes, opened them to see who it was and it was true, the final nightmare, she was red and dripping with it, they had drenched her in the very secretness of blood, in front of all of them and her thought (oh... i COVERED with it) " [...] She sat quite sitill, letting the noise wash over her like surf. They were still all beautiful and ther was still enchantment and wodner, but she had crossed a line and now the fairy tale was green with corruption and evil. In this one she would bite a poison apple, be attacked y trolls, be eaten by tigers. ANd suddenly it broke. The horrible realization of how badly she had been cheated came over her, and a horrible soundless cry. (they're Looking at me). [...] She rolled over on her back, eyes staring wildly at the stars from her painted face. She was forgetting. (!!THE POWER) It was time to teach them a lesson. Time to show them a thing or two. She giggled hysterically. It was one of momma's pet phrases

Arguably either the inaction or dehumanization of everyone around them, contributes to he respective downfall of each person. They no longer regard themselves as people, they are their powers. They are not internally evil people, but rather the products of the environment around them, and the failure of the people in their lives to help them or intervene until it was too late. Professor X even accepts part of the blame for not teaching her anything about her power.

The final key to this arc is that they're not totally corrupted by the power, they may be denying that they are still human, but their human identity is still there. It's a very jungian shadow thing, repress yours shadow and it will find some way to come out. However, the presence of a shadow to your actions, or repressed negative traits doesn't mean that the positive traits are all lies. What makes the Dark Phoenix arc truly special is that Jean Grey is still there deep down inside of her even when deciding to go full Dark Phoenix, and the conflict of the arc is that she's not being possessed which is why all the X-Men are trying so hard to reach her.

Dark Phoenix and Jean Grey exist simultaenously, they are two parts of the same person.

Which is something the current arc is going to great pains to establish as well, as much as both AFO tries to suppress him and Shigaraki himself denies it, he's still Tenko. Of course the heroes in MHA all suck eggs so they are not really doing what the X-Men are doing and trying the whole time to get through to Jean and convince her she is still there, and they will continue loving her no matter what she does.

Carrie herself despite being a famous horror movie monster, slaughtering a whole town, after her rampage she is once again revealed to be nothing more than the bullied and abused little girl. She spends her last few minutes alive, begging and crying out for her mother, because all she really wanted to do that night was to go home to her mother.

(qwhy didn't you just leave me alone) (carrie i) (momma would be alive i killed my momma i want her o it hurts my chest hurts my shoulder o o o i want my momma) (carrie i) ANd there was no way to finish the thought, nothing there to complete it with.

So that is the basic gist of the Dark Phoenix arc, a character gifted or cursed with tremendous power is never taught or guided properly to use it, and on top of that they are regularly dehumanized and have their agency taken away from them. They endure, endure, endure until they snap, and lash out and finally use that power for themselves taking all their agency back in the most destructive way possible.

#shigaraki tomura #carrie white #carrie 1976 #jean grey #mha meta #these might be the weirdest question i've ever answered #dark phoenix saga #still don't know what to tag these #bnha meta #uncanny x men

[2n2n]

If Tsukasa isn’t the antagonist why did he killed the fish in volume 4?

The fish who forcibly plunged Nene-chan into the water after she said no to his offer, called her ugly, and was going to coerce her into drinking a substance....? True, someone only an antagonist would slaughter in pure blind cruelty ...... such a significant character we all should think about every day, as events move forward. We should all ask, "why did Tsukasa kill that one fish guy? What a dick move", after we watch Amane attempt to kill Aoi, and permanently disable her.

I do think the mermaid kingdom means well with her, and this is their idea of kindness, but this is nonetheless........... lol. I don't think we are meant to lose too much sleep to him.

Amane would have done the same, if he felt it was necessary. Teru would do the same, Akane would do the same ... as we know now. The unnecessary aspect of it stands out, but we can't really know what is 'unnecessary' to Tsukasa. It's definitely meant to spook you early on, and worry about him. But I think we are quite far past this event holding great significance--

most loyal characters in this manga, do not care about the life of anyone but their beloved.

Killing something is an easy decision, if it is to stay with your beloved.

Tsuchigomori's life isn't anything to Teru, who would like to see our gentle teacher die... lol.

We now know Tsukasa is overall willing to sacrifice animals more innocent than this, if the situation calls for it. So, I don't know why you're hunt up on 'poor fish'. Drag Tsukasa for something more interesting and complex, how about! There's a broad disregard.

I will say, Japanese culture is pretty glib about fish mutilation, so I'm not sure it is a very puppy-kicking moment at the best of times...compared to this kitten, anyway

Anyway, Tsuchigomori eats this kaii-butterfly (it isn't 'really a bug', it's more of a minor kaii like what Mitsuba is composed of). I don't really know where Hanako-kun, as a manga, places the action of unnecessary destruction of creatures things such as this.

Mitsuba's entire existence is sustained on the destruction of other beings... are we sure this pile contains only non-sapient, non-speaking, crude beings? Does this pile contain things suchas that fish? I suppose that is justified for Mitsuba's existence-- or is it? Mitsuba himself no longer feels his life is worth all of this ... maybe it's only OK if you're guilty, or suicidal about your harm, even as you continue it? Does guilt make cruel actions OK?

of course, Teru destroys countless things with sapience, loved ones, things which can speak and beg for mercy, as much as that fish. Far more often than Tsukasa ever did such a thing.

But you know.... Teru still deserves love, and happiness. We still wish he could find comfort, and peace. He doesn't need to feel guilty, suicidal, or bad about what he does... he can even enjoy it.

We do not, in this manga, place people in the "antagonist" category for committing atrocities upon innocent beings, even if you, personally, would.

We may ally with or against any individual, depending on events.

Teru can be our enemy, when he is targetting Hanako for the murder of Aoi. Teru can be a technical ally, when Hanako and him agree that Mitsuba should be exorcised. Teru, Akane, and Hanako can all want to stop Natsuhiko, or Sakura. Teru and Akane can combine to attack Hanako.

Do you see any simple relationships here? I do not ... are there heroes and antagonists in those situations? It depends on where you look, right? Who do you want to win, at any point in time? It changes a lot, doesn't it? Don't you sometimes hope Teru and Akane can win-- because you like Aoi-- and then other times, hope they lose, because you love Hanako?

Tsukasa himself has skewed around, working against Amane, working with Amane. Trapping Nene-chan, freeing Nene-chan....

(really, Amane does all of that, too... he is at any moment our antagonistic force, or our hero.)

Hakubo had carried out his duties to maim kannagi...

Hakubo can still be depicted as complex, kind, loving, passionate, beautiful, even cute, silly, beloved, shy. He is still all of those things, despite how low his life had sunk, and the worst of his actions.

In AUs, he can be given a cute, funny life, with his beloved. His life was rich with love, with Sumire, for years. Thank goodness.

Since that little fish moment, we have unpacked the rest of our cast much, much more thoroughly. You simply didn't know what Teru was capable of, in volume 4. You did not know how far Akane's love went. You didn't know someone like Hakubo. You didn't even know what Amane was capable of, in volume 4. You didn't know anything, so, Tsukasa seemed very scary, very intense, very unusual, very depraved. You had only seen the twee little adventures of Nene-chan and Amane, under Amane's careful supervision. Tsukasa appeared to interrupt that with a wildness, a brutality.

I think clinging onto that perception is foolish...

Anyway, here is Teru threatening that he'd kill Nene-chan, possibly, out of nothing but vengeance:

(given Teru will later tell us he does not care about the lives of anyone but those close to him.... hmmm.)

Here is Amane letting the us know he had personally planned Aoi's disappearance, death, all because he simply prefers Nene-chan! No greater reason than his own, personal love and value of her needed:

(like Teru, our dear Amane needn't care about anything that isn't his beloved, and can do what it takes otherwise....)

Here is Akane saying he would 'do anything' if it meant saving Ao-chan, while threatening Nene-chan:

(and of course, he will assault her, to force Hanako to step in and stop playing games.....)

I'm not sure what Tsukasa has done, which is so beyond forgiveness, if we can forgive Amane, Teru, Akane, Mitsuba, Hakubo.

Killed a fish, you say? I suppose you don't have to forgive that, if you don't want to. I guess that's all an 'antagonist' has to be to some people-- someone who does something ugly now and again. I'd like to know what Tsukasa wants, why he is doing any of this, what his values are. I don't think those values are actually opposed to our central thesis. I think the manga itself is interested in that -- exploring motivation, exploring intention, exploring love, exploring individual value, loyalty, duty, passion. We can witness cruelty, and we can still wish for more for the people perpetuating it. We can still hope they escape. We can choose to see them as something other than a monster, or an enemy.

#avvy's JSHK

[ina-nis]

I cried a lot in therapy the other day because, apparently, things are finally working.

It just seems a little conflicting because... it doesn't feel like it. For example, when I was faced with a major trigger of mine and I didn't feel aggravated or self-destructive... I didn't feel much of anything, as if my feelings were numb or dampened. But the fact that I did not feel all those "bad" and familiar feelings, probably meant avoidance was not at play, and it was actually acceptance.

In the end, I'll probably not become this embittered and horrible person I fear I'll become, on the contrary, it seems like I'll become a very detached being - which was something I always tried to combat because it always felt like avoidance... the key difference here is that the "bad" feelings wouldn't even show up anymore, thus representing an actual change within myself, and an actual form of acceptance, I guess.

Well, the catch here is that the "bad" feelings won't show up, nor will the "good" ones. In the triggering situation, I acted more like a mirror for the other person (much like how therapists do! And it's no wonder my own therapists have told me I would make a good therapist myself ^^;), reflecting their own joy and happiness back to them, as if it were my own, and then being upset with myself later for being unable to feel truly happy for them.

The reason is probably because a trigger is still a trigger, even if the negative symptoms are not showing up, it doesn't mean it'll suddenly be a normal occurrence to me, and I can just act as if nothing happened or as if there was nothing wrong... there are many things going wrong and, as I've been saying over and over and over again, even with the absence of unpleasant experiences, they do not make up for the absence of positive ones. Those triggers will likely remain as triggers, for as long as I'm not able to actually work through them with positive reinforcement. But that's fine, I guess.

It's the point of acceptance, too. Getting through a helpless situation with as less damage as you can. It can't solve it, nor can it change things. It's just another tool to cope.

This is not how I wanted thing to turn out like, but it's probably the best I can do for now.

Hopefully, when I do have this acceptance piece as second nature, it will help me actually thrive and enjoy all other aspects of my life, that I have been unable to, due to the pain loneliness causes me.

The pain will still be here, obviously, it's just a matter of time and continuous effort to have this pain become something secondary, and I'll actually have space in myself for literally anything else. I'm sure I'll be able to do it. I'm in the right path and the treatment is, indeed, working. I guess it just feels a little bit scary because of the unknown, all those feelings and experiences being unfamiliar, but I'll get used to it, too, I'm sure.

I have given up some things, and I have gained several other things in return. Overall, I want to believe the sum of everything will be positive and I'll be able to have a good life and a good future, regardless of having the relationships I need or not.

I want to believe one day I'll be able to look back and think it was worth it.

I can't predict the future but if my own life up until now is any indication of upcoming trends, I'll probably remain alone.

I'll probably nurture close relationships with people that ultimately frustrate me because the romantic love I seek is not reciprocated.

I'll probably keep those platonic connections despite my frustration because I value those relationships and people, more than I value my own pain (because I know burning bridges over not getting what I want will truly keep me isolated).

I'll probably remain alone.

It'll probably be a pain I'll carry for the rest of my life.

I'll probably always be triggered by seeing partnered people and I'll probably walk away from friendships with people that prioritize their own romantic life, for my own sake and as a way to maintain my sanity.

I'll probably keep on yearning and hoping, too, knowing that it doesn't have to mean anything. I don't have to expend energy or time into hopeless things, so I won't do that.

I'll probably have this deep sorrow looming over me, and that's alright. I can still have a good life and a good future.

#loneliness #romantic love #inanis post

[zahramorningstar]

I have a fondness for the stars and feel a special leap of delight when I pause in a wintry evening to see the strong and bold marks of Orion in the sky. Or on a summer's night, to walk along and gaze up at the community of light in the Pleiades. I feel that the stars bless me with their presence. There have been times in the midst of deep pain in my heart that I have walked under the night sky and cried out to God, "By the light of your stars, heal me."

There is something extremely consoling about walking in great darkness and having the light of the stars to guide the way. After a walk under the stars, light eventually returns to my darkened spirit. The healing that I need comes in future days (or months) through people, books, sacred moments, music, insights, all of which clarify my confusion and soften the pain in my heart.

No matter how hard I fight to stay "in the light," I will have some darkness in my life. This is as sure as the pattern of sunrise and sunset in the natural course of the day. My darkness comes from many sources, sometimes from the pain and struggle of changing ideas, relationships or work, or from my participation in the human condition of aging, accidents, and illness. It has also come from that silent journey when I have desired to be more united with the Divine who is the beloved one dwelling at the center of who I am.

Most often, the way to the Divine is one of going through the passage of darkness within.

The Divine is also discovered in my happy, joyous, light-filled times, but no matter how much light I carry within me, there will always be times of feeling lost, being confused, seeking direction. It is the way of the human heart.

At times I have found it difficult to believe that darkness could be a source of growth. Darkness to a child, as well as to many adults, can be a scary, fearsome place where wild creatures wait to pounce and prey. But, in actuality, some kinds of darkness are truly our friends.

The world of our mother's womb had no light: It is where we grew wonderfully and filled out our tiny limbs of life. Our earth would be quite lifeless, too, if we did not plant seeds deep within the lonely darkness of the soil so they could germinate and bring forth green shoots. I know, too, that we would soon die of an overheated planet if nightfall did not come to soothe the sun-filled land. Darkness is very essential for some aspects of growth and protection.

But there is also an unfriendly darkness, like human destructiveness or hate, a blackness that can maim and wound us mentally, emotionally, spiritually. It is the kind that will lead us to despair, where we end up hurting ourselves or others. It destroys our hope and our positive view of life. We do not grow in this kind of darkness. We turn in on self. We stop believing in our goodness and beauty and that of others.

Sometimes, I will need to wait the darkness out, say it out, pray it out. Eventually, I will know what kind of darkness it is by the effects that it has on my life and on the lives of those around me.

If it brings life, new hope, understanding, more courage, deeper trust, then darkness is my friend. I believe that almost all of my darkness is life-giving if I have Sophia with me.

I may not want to believe that darkness can be growthful because of the ache, loneliness, hurt, hollowness are not feelings that I enjoy. Yet, if I look back on my life, to those dark times, I can see that I have, or could have, grown deeper and wiser from my experience of the darkness.

If anyone has experienced, as Saint John of the Cross called it, "A Dark night of the Soul"..

Then you will completely understand this.

#mysticism #darkness #light bearer #dark night #dark night of the soul #growth #potential #digital art #sanctuary

[fourtyfourcatss]

[████████ 100%] — @eijirhoe !

ִ ࣪𖤐 thank you for doing matchups with quasar !ִ ࣪𖤐

it looks like you’ve taken the hearts of…

i’m not going to lie, i was struggling with this one. but of everyone, hange zoe seemed like the best choice!

.☘︎ ݁˖ HANGE thinks you’re an enigma. they find you incredibly alluring with your idiosyncratic countenance and attitude, and your refreshing atmosphere. the ambition you carry near your passions only furthering that (by a lot). hange is a character i cannot see liking someone who is without ambition or passion of some kind. every character in aot has some kind of passion they hold deep inside their heart, and this is no different. it’s not every day someone of your caliber comes around, so you know well hange will do their best to keep you around, and keep you happy. seeing the laughter roll out your chest is something that brings more happiness to them than their research; because as much as they love research, they cannot compared to loved ones.

.☘︎ ݁˖ not only that, hange is someone who is able to help you rest easily— they are someone of great empathy that can understand the emotions within you well, and truly connect with you as a person.

.☘︎ ݁˖ dont say you dont think you have too much talents! those are just unexplored territories waiting for a time to be lit. nobody i have chosen for you thinks otherwise from this. hange will definitely draw with you, and after finding your talent for the arts, invites you out frequently and as they always do, ask you many things. hange has a thirst to understand two things: titans, and anything regarding you. lore, mythology, all of that — hange is an avid listener to anything you wish to tell them! not only that, hange is the perfect person to go to for binging horror movies together—just be prepared for a lot of exclamations! not just out of shock, but also of intrigue. the two of you definitely cuddle together under a blanket with drinks and snacks on the side, watching the latest A24 or those super scary asian films. the two of you have very comfy dates, many times basking in each other’s presences instead.

.☘︎ ݁˖ and your pagan witch aspect??? is the cherry on top??? tell them all about it

.☘︎ ݁˖ hange is your number one supporter! it feels like autumn turning to a breezy spring with them, the smell of the earth on crisp wind, decaying leaves falling, then trees becoming rejuvenated.

— runner up: ARMIN ARLET

.☘︎ ݁˖ i think you may not have expected this, but i see the potential so deep in. he absolutely favors you, especially your clear sense of justice, and despite it being not so good, the people-pleasing attitude definitely piques his curiosity. he thinks of it split in half; it showcases a more destructive trait to oneself, yet it also means you are willing to give up a lot for the people you love. diluc thinks he lost his own drive in the past, mired with the fatui staining and straining his action. you’re someone who can bring the fire in his heart out in actuality, compassionate enough to point him in the right direction to take. with you, i think the burdens of his past can be elevated, and he can properly heal. something about the vibe you give off really tells me that.

.☘︎ ݁˖ he definitely doesnt know how to express his love properly too, so definitely expect him to turn into those courting gentlemen who writes romantic letters stamped with official seals and sending you gifts anonymously. clothes you would like, expensive materials for your hobbies like canvas, paints, varnish, giving you a drink on the house whenever you visit the tavern with your friends, afraid to meet your eyes. not only that, seeing the vigor of your passion brings him a sense of both pride and hopelessness in himself. oh how much that drunk kaeya teases him! thinks hes so subtle. the knights of favonius has definitely gathered together to help the two of you get together 😭

.☘︎ ݁˖ diluc has never truly gotten into the halloween nor christmas spirit, even though his tavern is always decorated for special events like these. i think he would love embellishing the house with you at those times, since you have pulled him into that spirit again. it’s a sort of quiet and strange delight he gets, nostalgic and tingling with feelings. many times, he gets out of his own character a lot, and surprises you with sudden back hugs in order to greet you.

.☘︎ ݁˖ definitely discusses mythology with you. he has a very nice voice too, so expect him to run his hands through your hair while reading aloud for you. and as a well-bred gentleman of ragnvindr roots, the arts is something he can appreciate deeply, though he has never had more deeper interest as a young boy, starting now isnt bad! he gets very fixated with your movements many times, and i think he just silently watches like an owl while you do your things. owl diluc????

— runner up: SCARAMOUCHE, ARATAKI ITTO

.☘︎ ݁˖ ok this one, this one i had to do cmon now. the two of you slot together super well, and his protectiveness extends with you being someone he has an interest “crush” “its interest mikey.” “just say crush.” in. he’s sooo soft on the inside, tough on the exterior, he’ll treat you so damn well and be so respectful to you. you can definitely expect no sugarcoating in this relationship, draken is very honest to you, and loves indulging you. i think his boldness and brashness is something that he can use to help you further become someone you love.

.☘︎ ݁˖ he admires your loyalty and love for your friends — its something the two of you have in immense commonality. you’re someone who he can have many respect for in your characteristics. he definitely teases you out of good fun, and asks you for help when it comes to things like fashion. in his eyes, artistic talent translate to good fashion 👍🏻

.☘︎ ݁˖ you’re just so humble and so kind, and so many other things, he brags about you so often in front of his friends. absolutely shamelessly drops your name here and there. and he hopes one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you. like in toman, you’re gonna be a celebrity fr. the vice president is very selective, he does not play in any manner when it comes to choosing the ones he surrounds himself with! for you to grab his attention, you must be someone truly out of the ordinary.

.☘︎ ݁˖ riding on him with his motorcycle feels so safe. he places his own helmet on you until you get your own (which you do fast because no way is he going on the traffics without a helmet SAFETY FIRST!)

.☘︎ ݁˖ under everything is a slight hint of guilt. he’s a gang member, and there are enemies that sometimes he cannot stop. but, he’s definitely going to put his life on the line if its to ensure your safety—yeah this never happens though because the two of you end up getting married and live happily ever after.

— runner up: SENJU KAWARAGI

[a/n] thank you sm for this matchup exchange 💕💕 i hope you enjoy!!!

#matchup exchange #aot matchup #genshin matchups #tokyo revengers matchup

[sheviolentlyher]

okay. so you're an optimist with depressive tendencies.

Hello infinite nothingness. You look stunning. I look stunning. We all look stunning.

I have been thinking about him lately. I find myself convincing my heart that he does not care about me. It makes the pain easier to bear.

I wish I could be a true free spirit. I think a free spirit suffers no mental or emotional pain. Everyone has this skewed perception of what it means to be truly free spirited. Running a muck without attachment. Because I have so many unanswered thoughts I do not consider myself free just yet.

I go back and forth a lot. From hate to appreciation, this is how I know I am not ready. But when will I ever be ready?

I want to do things alone with myself. I want to create within my own self. I want to choose me. I want to up my wolf mentality while nurturing my heart shaped sheep. I cannot let the sheep in me die. I no longer wish for some type of salvation. I do not need saving.

I want a constructive kind of love, not destructive. Love can be destructive and I thought it was the will to die by its sword over and over again 🗡️ but I’m finding out it’s more like the will to live over and over again.

Love is learning how to let it be free.Im learning how to love without being loved. That will make my spirit truly free. In order for me to do that I need to love myself endlessly not selfishly.

last night I was a little sick of my urge to look at love in the light. I feel like I almost forced myself to write about the darkness of love. my mind wouldn't really let me. and it just reassured my belief in love and its light. Yes, I can look at all the shitty possibilities of love, but love is accepting those too. Love is not holding it against itself. love is total acceptance.

I always wanted to be a fierce woman. I wanted to be a dominate woman. I am in some aspects, I can be in some aspects. but I am built a soft woman, accepting that has been difficult in such a harsh world. I feel like I am protecting myself most days. I have been failed by the protection and guard of the male species to many times. I need to conjure my own protection and I personally dont think women were made to do that, so we turn into some evil demon. I am impressed with the way I have been protecting myself from my own rage. Rage is a tricky bitch. Rage is counterproductive, but it can feel so protecting at times. There is a fine line between our anger and how we choose to protect ourselves. There is no hierarchy among the female brain because we are aways at the top, and whenever we feel low, we allow that rage to carry us.

Accepting that I am simply not made to be a crude woman, helps diagnose what my true needs are. it helps me get to know me and grow into something fierce. Knowing the weaknesses of the sheep allow the rage to maneuver in a wolf like manner. I will not let my rage bring me down, I will allow it to protect me. I will not allow my rage to pity me, I will allow it to protect me. I will not allow my rage to consume me, I will allow it to protect me.

Rage can be damaging and now that I am more aware of the damage it can cause me specifically, I can almost always use it to constructively trigger my creative mind. Drawing, writing, thinking. yes, we need practice. yes, we need an outlet. Rage is only detrimental when you hold it inside and let it settle in your bones. You have to ignite your ability to create. It is a muse. Emotion is only a muse!

I love where my emotions are taking me. I love that they enhance my ability to think, create, and manifest. I am no longer feeling like I'm drowning in it all. I feel like I'm becoming something much deeper, like the abyss, where only I can breathe underwater.

I am learning how to create something positive out of a negative in hope to receive belief. The same certain belief that I feel I have in what is negative, or the things that I hate. Sometimes, I just hate to hate. Sometimes, I'm a mouthy bitch. Sometimes, when I trick it into thinking it has a voice, it stops wanting to talk. Hate does not like the spot light, it likes to linger in the background in hopes that our minds will entertain it into full blown thought and action. I laugh at my anger, and it leaves. I feed my negativity to the creative mind and I swallow it whole, spitting out literature and art. That is the power of the human mind. Our capabilities are endless and infinite. The only thing that is limited is our vessel, and even that can endure for quite sometime.

Do not wait until you feel the pain. the pain is only something we think we want until it is there. I am learning that only I am responsible for creating my own pain, no one else. By taking accountability for my own self sabotage I am able to progressively turn it into something I can understand and easily create it into love. PRACTICE. you need to practice maneuvering through your mind, You cannot avoid it. You can not ignore it. It's there and you aren't fucking brain dead.

I no longer wish for anyone to understand my ideology when I can't even understand it yet. That would be unfair, so I remain receptive and curious about the world, and gain the ability to conquer anything. And with my rage there to protect me, it reminds me that I am built to ask questions, and that one day I will wake up unafraid.

-x

#it’s friday #deep feelings #deep inside #inside my mind #thoughts into the void #diary #girl interrupted #tumblr diary #diaryposting #personal diary #poetic #writeblr #writing #writers and poets #poetry blog #poetry #human behaviour #human #mental health #deep thinking #just thinkin #thinking #digital diary #my diary #online diary #diary entry #dear diary #divine feminine #divine woman #wild woman

[thefamilyeldritchabomination]

Chapter Twenty: Sonne Pt. 7

 “I see…how long has William been unconscious?” Hohenheim asked as he took a seat on the couch much to Freddy’s and Edward’s displeasure.

 “Roughly two hours now, I’m pretty sure Envy will be screeching their hatred the moment they awaken to see you here though.” Lust gave Hohenheim a look, knowing full well now why Envy held such a great hatred for the man before her.

 “I know and I’ll rightfully deserve it, I just want to speak out to William and give him the apology I owe after being gone for so long.” Hohenheim said as he joined the waiting group, getting death glares from Dorian who clearly was thinking about getting that sledgehammer right at that moment.

=======================================================================

 Envy sat there stunned into a stupor that Hohenheim had the actual gull to even come to them like that. On one hand, it was good to see the bastard suffer from the guilt of abandoning them all those centuries ago with the monster named Danter, but on the other hand, the asshat just wants to feel better by admitting it. Likewise, Survive wasn’t amused by what she saw before the scrying bowl and the fact Hohenheim just broke into the cabin like that. With the scry being turned off for the time being, Survive went back to the table of cakes and brought some over to Envy to pick from, especially after having to get a face full of their rotting father in full view. Envy immediately took up the offer of the mini cakes as they needed something sweet to chow down upon having to witness that in the scrying bowl and the emotional turmoil that resulted in it. Survive waited a moment or two as Envy indulged in cakes to calm their anger and resentment for the time being. There were still the matters at hand for Survive to discuss with Envy once they were much calmer. There was a moment of calmness from Envy who was allowed to have a cool down period before Survive started up the conversation.

 “Now that you’ve had your fill and some time to cool down, I think now is about time for me to explain why you’re actually here.” Survive started as she made sure Envy was paying very close attention to the next thing to be said.

 “Yeah..thanks for letting me have a moment. Can I ask though, what the hell were Ernest and Dorian doing with the clay earlier?” Envy looked up vacantly at Survive after witnessing the arrival of their dumpster father.

 “Might as well tell you now since they carry her signature which is probably why they’re here in the first place. Dolly explained to you before that they were made with bits of her blood, right?” Survive began, making sure that Envy and herself were on the same page of the topic.

“Yeah she did, though I thought it was just a joke. Honestly the Face Fur doesn’t seem like the kind to handle blood all too well after the train incident.” Envy made a bit of a look at having to mention the dread human they called ‘Face Fur’.

“Freddy is a bit more delicate than most of his family members, they’re all a little extra spicy from my meddling. However, that wasn’t the point, the point is that those two contain Dolly’s blood. They are also linked to Dolly’s abilities as a Queen, both the creative and destructive aspects that come with it. What you saw there was their attempt at jumpstarting Dolly’s power bank for a smoother recovery.” Survive finally explained, still a bit annoyed at Ernest for basically using the plasma beams earlier along with attracting some unwanted attention.

“They’re going to be alright doing this, right?” Envy eyed the cakes once more as they felt a mighty need for sweets during this explanation.

“Ernest and Dorian should be fine, they’re eating extra snacks to compensate for the donations they’re making.” Survive reassured as she handed Envy the plate of mini cakes to enjoy during troubling times.

 “I think I’m now ready to hear out what you wanted me here for..” Envy started to eat some cakes to cool down their nerves, ready to listen finally.

 “Good, you remember how the weird bull terrier looking homunculus named Greed mentioned the circus being in town?” Survive said as she decided to break this news nice and easy for Envy to understand.

 “Yeah, but that’s just Greed, he’s weird like that.” Envy said, not sure where this is going just yet.

 “That group is from the same place that Dolly was born in. They came to locate their Queen Elect to bring back with them to Xing after Tir Na Nog died a long time ago. They’re going to want to train Dolly on how to properly use her abilities and start functioning as a Queen normally would in their society. I had known about them being here for the last few centuries now, but I could never bring myself to let them locate Dolly. Dolly has acclimated to this area so much and bonded with the mortals that had adopted her as their own, it would not benefit her in the slightest to be suddenly taken away from that.” Survive explained fully in details of the first issue, Envy’s brain now clicking about this news.

 “Fuck that noise, they abandoned Dolly, they’re not going to have a right to reclaim her back and force her to live somewhere.” Envy narrowed their eyes at the idea of Dolly being taken away like that and especially from their merry group of alchemical crimes against nature.

“Good, that’s what I was hoping for, I’ll only allow them for training on the condition that Dolly is to remain here. I will need you to tell Dolly this yourself, I cannot communicate with her except in the actions I take to ensure her survival.” Survive was very much relieved to hear that until Envy came in with the major reality check that was needed.

“Oh that’s going to go well, telling an anarchist that she has to rule over a group of people that abandoned her as a small child, that’ll definitely fly.” Envy pointed out the massive elephant in the room, knowing full well an anarchist would certainly decline the very thing they’re against on a fundamental level.

“Fair, that one I hadn’t expected to be a result of her upbringing in this plane. I would just explain it as being like a glorified sea captain of sorts with overly strong powers built into her.” Survive shook her head a bit, trying to figure out how to get Dolly to accept being a Queen regardless of being fully an anarchist.

 “Right, I’ll have to explain it once the nightmare with Dante is done and over with. I don’t think she’d handle being told all this as well as having Dante breathing down her neck.” Envy said, knowing full well now just how delicate everything is at this moment in time.

 “I suppose, but it will have to be very soon. The massive magical fallout has completely covered Dolly’s trail for now, but they’ll eventually figure out where Dolly lives should they space out the monitors. That does bring me to the last thing I want to request from you, The Queen of the Summer Dusk, Crom Cruach, is awakening soon from his crystal prison having devoured his wings. Crom Cruach will come after Dolly, their single eye blazed with vengeance.” Survive dropped the big bomb of the Queen of the Summer Dusk being here and getting ready to erupt like an awful volcano after a long slumber.

 “I thought he had two eyes?” Envy raised an eyebrow at that, remembering the illustration of The Queen of the Summer Dusk in the book.

#Fullmetal Alchemist #FMA 03 #Fan Fiction #FMA Fan Fiction #Writing #The Wayfarer #Envy the Jealous #Envy #OCs #Homunculus #Homunculi

[herecomesthesunduhnahduhda]

RWBY V9C5 thought dump:

- Ruby asking the CC if those who ascended and we’re remade with a purpose remembered everything was absolutely her considering it for herself. My poor baby:(

- The CC simply being able to CHANGE A PERSON’S PURPOSE has terrifying implications. Are they the “god” of the Ever After? What’ll happen if they turn on RWBY?

- Was that Summer’s weapon or was Crescent Rose remade?

- “No one is truly lost,” according to the blacksmith. This could be in reference to who Ruby was before all this went down, or to the people she’s lost along the way — Summer, Pyrrha, and Penny, to name a few. Maybe it’s meant in a Disney “they’re in your heart” sort of way, but it could also be because their weapons are there and those are supposed to be an extension of a Hunter/Huntress.

- The blacksmith asked if Little was Ruby’s guide and I think that meant more than “guiding her back home.” I think they’re meant to guide Ruby back to healing or to her former self. (I have seen people compare Little to Ruby’s former optimistic self or the Angel on her shoulder.)

- “You seem to be carrying a rather large burden with you.” / “I’m fine. I can handle it.” / “If you change you mind, you may choose any one of these [in reference to weapons] you like. And set your burden down.” Ruby taking up the weapon of somebody she loved…I interpreted that as her taking on a new identity or making whoever she chooses part of her new self.

- Seeing Ruby give up more and more of what makes her herself is heartbreaking to watch. She was so ready to give up Summer’s metal for the sake of her friends and it really shows how much she prioritizes them over herself. Probably because she doesn’t think too highly of herself right now. (Also when she reached out to comfort Weiss when the city fell apart 🥲)

- Speaking of the city falling apart, geez. This is only going to further cement Ruby’s thinking that they’re “bad Huntresses.” Now she has to deal with the guilt trauma of leaving this city in ashes like she did with Beacon and Atlas:(

- Jaune being older than when we last saw him may indicate that time moves faster in the Ever After? Or it has something to do with him being the White Rabbit like the intro demonstrates. This makes me think more: narratively, I don’t think they’ll return to a Remnant hundreds of years in the future, but can you imagine the mental damage that would do? They’d all find their loved ones dead and Remnant overrun by Grimm… (I haven’t considered all aspects of this, like what Salem would do with all the Relics. Her goal has always been to get revenge on the gods and I can only imagine the mass destruction that could result from that.)

- What do y’all have against, Jaune? (This is targeted towards those who were unhappy with his appearance, which I’m not necessarily attacking you for. I just want explanations.)

#rwby volume 9 #rwby v9 #rwby #ruby rose #rwby spoilers