#His parents abandoned him constantly leaving him to be a very emotionally neglected child | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

The average Tumblr user visits about 67 pages every month.

#His parents abandoned him constantly leaving him to be a very emotionally neglected child

immaturityofthomasastruc · 2 years

Note

something i find funny is how astruc CONSTANTLY demonizes abuse victims within his show (or characters that are least implied to deal with those topics). like chloe for example; both of her parents are emotionally abusive and neglected and she’s made out to be a monster. same with adrien (yes i am aware he has done problematic things as well and i relate to him) as he’s made out to be worse than usual (if that makes sense). lila is another example—though hers is more implied and might just be me projecting onto her since she’s another character i relate to—and all three of these characters are made out to be horrible people. it’s very hurtful and it’s just so gross.

Don’t forget when Astruc claimed Chloe wasn’t abused as a child or even traumatized by her mother abandoning her at a young age... because just one of her parents left and she happens to be rich.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

Again, like her or hate her, but you can’t deny that Chloe’s mother leaving her had a huge impact on her personality and worldview, given it’s implied the whole reason her father lets her have whatever she wants is to make up for how uncaring Audrey is as a person.

And again, it’s pretty rich when Adrien is basically in the same situation as Chloe, having lost his mother for another reason, but I guess because it’s more recent, it gets more priority.

Another thing I feel gets overlooked in this topic (I’m just as guilty of it), is that even though he’s not demonized for what he does, Adrien really isn’t a good portrayal of an abuse victim either.

With Chloe, it’s easy to connect the dots and see how her parents’ conflicting methods of raising her led to her being a selfish egomaniac who thinks she deserves the whole world, but with Adrien, it’s never really stated how things have changed since Emilie “went away”. It’s only been a year, and yet he seems pretty well-adjusted, not just to losing his mother, but also to the way Gabriel controls him. This is something that I think the timeline really screwed up, because the idea of Adrien struggling to move on after losing his mother to mysterious circumstances at a young age could have made for some compelling drama

Apart from saying how sad being locked up in his room eve though he has an easy way out is, he never really seems to mind his father’s aloof behavior, and even defends his asshole behavior at times (Felix). Yes, there are examples of victims trying to justify their abusers treatment, but the show always wants us to take Adrien’s side and believe Gabriel isn’t that bad.

There’s also the fact that despite supposedly being better than Chloe when it comes to dealing with the trauma of dealing with a neglectful parent or losing another parent in the case of Felix, the argument loses a lot of weight after “Mega Leech” and “Ephemeral” heavily implied he’s a Sentimonster who has no choice but to go along with whatever Gabriel needs him to do.

As for Lila, I’d say it’s not abuse, but unintentional neglect on behalf of her mother, like what “Oni-Chan” implied, sort of like a “Cat’s in the Cradle” situation. Then again, I am more sympathetic to Lila as a villain than I am with Gabriel and Nathalie given they’re adults who are committing crimes while Lila is basically a teenager acting out in response to being smeared by a celebrity.

But again, I’m not an abuse victim, so please take what I say about this topic with a heavy grain of salt.

171 notes · View notes

emilyofjane · 3 years

Text

Why the Disney Princesses definitely need therapy: a Hot Take

Snow White

Losing her parents as a child and having to learn to take care of herself at a very young age (Snow White is 14 in the movie, and judging by her work ethic, she appears to at least have some experience with living independently before moving in with the 7 dwarves)

Lack of socialization due to isolation

Depression due to isolation and loneliness. This makes the whole “Someday My Prince Will Come” thing much more believable, because Snow White really isn’t in any sort of immediate danger and doesn’t need “saving” or whatever; she’s just tired of being alone and wants human companionship. (And tbh who can blame her? The poor girl’s literally talking to birds and moved in with the first group of humanoid creatures she could find ffs)

This one’s a bit of a stretch, but I’m pretty sure Snow White would also have an unhealthy fear of strangers and/or an irrational fear of being poisoned after the whole apple fiasco

Cinderella

Being raised in an abusive home environment for most (if not virtually all) of her life

The complete lack of positive social interaction throughout her life has probably led to problems with social withdrawal and isolation at some point, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has repressed symptoms of chronic depression due to loneliness.

Her closest emotional confidants are literally two talking mice, and that just screams “My only friends are animals because their love is unconditional I’ve been invalidated and unloved by every human being in my life” (aka extreme emotional neglect)

She probably has tons of questions about her biological parents that were never answerd because, again, her stepfamily hated her, which would obviously lead to some emotional baggage

If we consider Cinderella III: A Twist in Time to be the new canon, she definitely has some unresolved PTSD from her near-death experience (the “almost getting crushed to death in the carriage because it was transforming back into a pumpkin” scene)

Aurora

Existential crisis because the three fairy godmothers basically rewrote her entire identity as “Rose” and hid the fact that she was a princess

Never knowing who her real parents were as a child, leading to emotional baggage similar to that of Cinderella and Snow White mentioned above

Either the emotional burden of having to make up for 16+ years of lost time with her biological family, or the grief of losing her biological family without ever getting the chance to know them (idk whether Aurora actually got to meet her parents by the end of the movie or if they died before she woke up, because I don’t remember exactly how much time had passed while she was in the coma)

Speaking of the spindle prick-induced magical coma (which is a really long-winded and inefficient way to kill someone honestly, idk what Melificent was thinking), Aurora also has to deal with the emotional burden of how much time has passed while she was in a coma, which would only further feed into the existential crisis and emotional trauma in bullet points 1 and 3.

(Also, off the record, but Aurora’s entire life post-movie is just a hot fucking mess and she really deserves a second movie exploring that concept imo. I know that Sleeping Beauty has already gotten a live-action villain spinoff, but the story of Aurora herself really deserves to be reexamined under a modern lens also. Aurora is easily one of the most overlooked Disney princesses and tbh she deserves more love.)

Belle (feat. the expanded lore from the live-action movie)

Witnessing her mother die from the plague in their own home

Being forceed to move from the more culturally progressive city of Paris to the unnamed “poor provential town” in the movie, where she is clearly the odd one out and is subject to gender inequality on a daily basis (in the form of being publically shamed and socially ostacized for being an educated woman)

Being regularly sexually harassed by Gaston, which is further exacerbated by the villagers and their close-mindedness. Not only is Gaston’s behavior enabled and encouraged by the villagers, but they even go so far as to idolize Gaston — as shown during his namesake song — despite his obviously predatory actions, simply because he is a cishet white man that they find conventionally attractive

Watching her father get arrested despite being 100% innocent...TWICE

Also being arrested when her father is wrongly convicted a second time, by none other than her abuser

Watching her lover — who besides her parents was the first person in her life who truly loved her and respected her intellect despite being a woman — nearly die in her arms, as well as everyone else in the castle (who ALSO respected her regardless of her gender) nearly die at the same exact time.

...And you know, Stockholm Syndrome or whatever. (But tbh, given how everyone in the castle was very kind and respectful and how the Beast was a tsundere at best, Belle would probably suffer far more from PTSD brought upon by Gaston and her previous environment than from “Stockholm Syndrome” in a castle where everyone actually treated her like a normal fucking human being. Unpopular opinion I know but as a sexual assault survivor this is literally a hill I will die on.)

Jasmine

I’ve actually never watched Aladdin all the way through, so unfortunately I can’t give a full analysis of Jasmine’s conflicts...but I have seen that gif of her saying “I am not a prize to be won” and that just screams “I’ve suffered a lifetime of female objectification and gender inequality despite my social status, and not even in the highest position of authority possible am I allowed to have a voice” and idk about you but that is really fucked up man

Ariel

PTSD from being manipulated by Ursula to give up her voice and nearly losing everything (both her previous life in the ocean and the promise of a new life on land with her love interest) because of it

Near-death experience from *vague hand gesture to whatever the fuck that was at the end of the movie*

Inevitable depression from abandoning the only home she’s ever known (the ocean) and leaving her friends and family behind

She’ll probably also need some form of behavioral therapy to help her adjust to her new home on land, whose culture is still extremely foreign to her — and maybe even additional therapy for social anxiety, given how her first 3 days of human interaction were so mortifyingly embarrassing that she’ll probably be laying wide awake at 3 AM and thinking “oh my god I can’t believe I looked Eric’s parents dead in the eyes and brushed my hair with a dinner fork” for the next 10 years.

Tiana

PTSD from literally being turned into a frog

Overworking herself to the point of near burnout, and being unable to fully live out her prime adult years because of said burnout

Constantly dealing with shitty customers, bosses, and other white-collared people disrespecting her and treating her as subhuman because of her career choice, which is unfortunately a common shared experience among restaurant workers and those who work hourly wages

Since this movie takes place in the United States presumably before the 1960’s, it’s probably safe to assume that Tiana also probably had to deal with segregation, Jim Crow laws, and other forms of racism off-screen on a daily basis, which would obviously take a toll on her mental well-being and further exacerbate the issues mentioned in #3

Grief from losing her dad, which has likely been repressed due to her workaholic tendencies denying her the ability to properly take the time to mourn

I don’t even know what to categorize the whole witch doctor shenanigans as, I just know that she and Naveen are both going to need some SERIOUS therapy after going through all that shit

Rapunzel

Being raised in an emotionally abusive and controlling environment for her entire life

Being completely isolated for 18 years with no social interaction whatsoever with anyone except her own abuser

Existential/identity crisis from discovering that she’s actually a princess, that her “mom” was actually the one who kidnapped her as a baby and tried to cut her hair, and that everything she knew about herself and the world she lived in was essentially a lie to keep her obedient to Gothel

Near-death experience (the drowning scene)

Internalized fear and mistrust in strangers — and quite possibly in people in general — due to Gothel’s lifelong warnings that people in the outside world would only want to take advantage of her

Watching the woman who raised her MERCILESSLY STAB THE ONLY OTHER PERSON SHE EVER KNEW AND LOVED IN THE GODDAMN CHEST

Watching the woman who raised her LITERALLY CRUMBLE TO DUST IN FRONT OF HER VERY EYES

WATCHING FLYNN, THE ONLY OTHER PERSON SHE EVER KNEW AND LOVED BESIDES HER GODDAMN ABUSER, FUCKING DIE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER before she miraculously healed him

Because Flynn’s revival was such an uncanny revival that not even Rapunzel knew how she did it, she obviously thought he was gone for good...and since Gothel was gone also, there must’ve been at least a split second before she healed Flynn where, for the first time in her entire life, she was completely and utterly alone. That alone deserves to be a bullet point because holy shit

I’m not even going to get into Tangled: the Series man this list is getting too long as it is

Elsa

Losing her parents at a young age

Abandonment and isolation issues (mostly self-inflicted due to her own fear of hurting others, see #3)

Internalized fear and self-doubt of her powers — and, by extension, fear and self-doubt in herself

Guilt from nearly plunging Arendelle into an eternal winter

Guilt from almost losing her sister (twice!) due to her own direct actions

(Coinciding with #3) Guilt from isolating herself from her sister to protect her, only to nearly get her killed by the very thing she was trying to protect her from

Anxiety. Just lots and lots of general anxiety.

(Omitting Frozen 2 for Elsa because I haven’t seen it yet and this list is getting too long)

Anna

Also losing her parents at a young age

Abandonment and isolation issues, but hers are moreso due to Elsa “shutting her out” as a kid and having no one else her age in the castle to interact with

Lack of socialization in general for much of her childhood, as well as any social anxieties/lack of social knowledge and etiquette/etc. that would come with it

Abusive relationship with Hans (I know it was only one day, but holy fuck that was a trainwreck. What Hans did to Anna is a literal breeding ground for PTSD and trauma)

Coming to terms with the fact that the trolls fucking erased her memories of Elsa having ice powers and that Elsa isolated herself to protect her (and not, you know, because she hated her or something)

Leftover guilt from holding a grudge against Elsa for most of her childhood for shutting her out, because NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL HER THAT IT WAS FOR HER OWN GOOD and she never knew why

Basically Anna and Elsa both need joint therapy or family counseling or something because holy shit their parents did NOT handle this situation properly AT ALL

(Also omitting Frozen 2 for Anna because I haven’t seen it and this list is also getting too long)

Moana

Surprisingly, Moana’s movie was relatively tame — in fact, because her tribe returned to voyaging and she is now exploring the seas/following her passion, these events were arguably beneficial to Moana’s mental health rather than detrimental. The only emotional baggage I can really imagine Moana having post-movie is leftover grief from her grandma dying and maybe the stress of having to put up with Maui’s shit

#shitpost #meta #disney characters #disney princess #long post #this has been in my drafts for literally a year so i may as well post it

32 notes · View notes

charminglatina · 4 years

Text

Two Sides Of The Same Coin: Similarities & Parallels Between Jughead Jones and Veronica Lodge ✨ 🌙.

Jughead and Veronica are from highly dysfunctional and broken families: Jughead grew up in a highly dysfunctional household with parents who had a trouble, dysfunctional and miserable marriage. As a result of the miserable marriage, his mother Gladys left FP high and dry and took their younger daughter Jellybean to go live in Ohio with her parents. FP is also an on and off the wagon alcoholic and he has a serious drinking problem. He’s found himself in constant legal troubles which cost him his job, his reputation, and his family. Jughead was abandoned by his mom and left behind to live in a troubled and dysfunctional household with his alcoholic deadbeat father. Jughead couldn’t tale his contentious and strained relationship with his dad anymore that he chose to run away from home and was living at first the Twilight Drive In and then at Riverdale High in the janitor’s closet. Jughead also grew up in a family that was ridden with crime. The Jones family are members of a criminal biker gang called the Southside Serpents. Therefore, Jughead was exposed to criminal activity since he was a child. His father FP was the leader and the King of the Serpents and while being a member of the Serpents, FP was involved in morally ambiguous activity including drug trafficking, petty theft, vandalism, gang violence, and working for Hiram Lodge to help him with his criminal business empire in Riverdale while he was serving time in prison. Jughead’s grandfather, FP Jones I, was also a member of the Southside Serpents. Not only that, but he was a very abusive alcoholic father who would endlessly beat FP when he didn’t obey him or comply with his demands. Jughead’s mother Gladys is also a Serpent as well and she is currently a member of the Toledo Serpents in Ohio. Jughead has financial issues and his family is poor and currently living in poverty on the Southside. His family are currently residing in a trailer at Sunnyside Trailer Park. Veronica, on the other hand, also comes from a troubled and dysfunctional family background. Even though Veronica is extremely rich and wealthy and privileged, her family situation is laced with dysfunction and abuse. Her parents Hiram and Hermione are in a very miserable marriage filled with manipulation and emotional abuse. There isn’t any love or affection between them in their marriage. Because of the lack of love and affection between Hiram and Hermione, Veronica grew up in a loveless, cold home environment where affection wasn’t given and returned. Veronica suffered emotional abuse at the hands of her father Hiram since she was a child. Hiram is very controlling towards Veronica and he manipulates her by spoiling her and giving her everything that she wanted. Hiram spoiling Veronica with material thins and money was his way of showing Veronica love and affection, but she never actually received actual love and affection fropm her father. Veronica is constantly seeking Hiram’s approval even at the expense of her own emotional well being and moral code. Hermione was a slightly better parent between herself and Hiram but she wasn’t really much better either. Hermione seemed to care more about being rich, powerful and having status than about caring for her daughter. Though there’s no doubt that Hermione loves her daughter and would do anything for her, she cared more about staying in a miserable unloving marriage because of wealth and status. Hiram is also a crook and a criminal who has committed many heinous and horrible crimes. It’s also revealed that Hiram being a crooked and dirty businessman tycoon is just the tip of the iceberg in regards to how bad he is and that in reality, he’s actually a full blown crime lord/boss who is a member of the mob/American Mafia. Therefore, Veronica was raised in a family of organized crime and criminal activity because of her mob family upbringing. Her father Hiram was arrested back in New York City after he committed fraud and embezzlement due to his incessant greed. He shamed the Lodge family’s name and reputation in the media and after Hiram was incarcerated and sent to prison, Hermione and Veronica were exiled from New York and forced to move to Riverdale to get away from the bad stigma that surrounded their family. Both Jughead and Veronica have had to deal with the hardship of having a criminal father who was sent to jail for committing illegal activity.

Jughead and Veronica have had to deal with having a mother who abandoned them in different ways; Jughead’s mom abandoned him physically while Veronica’s mom abandoned her emotionally

Jughead and Veronica have abusive parents: Jughead’s father FP is an on and off alcoholic who emotionally neglected and abandoned Jughead because he wouldn’t get his act together and stop getting himself into constant legal and financial troubles which caused the Jones family to fall apart. Jughead’s relationship with FP became so tumultuous, strained and volatile at one point that Jughead chose to leave home and ended up homeless in Season 1. Jughead’s mother Gladys physically abandoned Jughead by taking off with his younger sister Jellybean and leaving the family home to go live in Ohio with her parents because she couldn’t take FP’s horrible behaviour and constant poor decisions. Gladys came back to Riverdale only to reveal that she didn’t come back to rekindle her marriage with FP ir to be a good mother to Jughead and Jellybean and bring the Jones family back together, but instead to take over Hiram Lodge’s drug empire. She resorts to emotionally manipulating Jughead and threatening him to keep quiet about her business in Riverdale or else there would serious consequences. Gladys has also physically abused Jughead by pulling hiss hair and his head and making threats towards him; Veronica’s father Hiram is emotionally abusive, manipulative and controlling towards Veronica. He’s also lied to her numerous times about who he really is and all of the crimes and horrible things that he’s done. Hiram was also the one who wrote the threatening letter to Veronica but got Hermione to say that it was her that wrote the letter to Veronica instead of him, showing that he has no issue with lying to and manipulating Veronica for his own benefit. Veronica’s mother Hermione was originally thought to be a good parent and mother to Veronica and was believed to have wanted to shield Veronica from being corrupted by Hiram and his corrupt business. However, she is later on revealed to be just as morally corrupt as Hiram. She is emotionally abusive to Veronica and is domineering, controlling and manipulative towards her. Hermione threatened that she would physically hit Veronica for not obeying her and refusing to get in line with the Lodge family and their criminal, shady actions and she also lied to Veronica for Hiram telling her that she was the one who wrote the threatening letter, not Hiram.

Jughead and Veronica had a “decent” childhood before a family tragedy or family issue caused their families to become dysfunctional and troubled: Jughead has mentioned that the Jones family used to be a happy, solid family unit with himself, his father FP, his mother Gladys and his younger sister Jellybean before FP started to get into criminal/legal troubles, lost his construction job at Andrews Construction Company after Fred fired him, started to turn to alcohol/became an alcoholic as a coping mechanism to deal with his troubles and started to struggle financially which downgraded the Jones family’s economic status from working class to poor/poverty stricken/ FP’s constant mistakes were the cause of the Jones family falling apart and never fully recovering from the downfall; Veronica, on the other hand, grew up living a very spoiled, lavish, privileged life because she grew up in a very wealthy family. She’s the only daughter of one of the richest and most powerful businessmen in the world as her father Hiram Lodge is the CEO and President of the multi-billion dollar company Lodge Industries. Hiram and Hermione spoiled Veronica and gave her everything that she wanted as a child. However, her family faced troubles once her father was arrested for conducting illegal business activity of fraud and embezzlement and was sent to jail for his crimes. The Lodges ended up losing their homes, boats, yachts, possessions, and even finances and their reputation ended up being tarnished in the media. Veronica and Hermione were forced to flee New York City and relocate to Riverdale so that they could start over. Although they still were comfortably wealthy due to being insanely rich in the first place, they were not as wealthy as they were before Hiram was arrested, Hiram was the one who was responsible for the Lodge family falling apart and their reputation being soiled or tarnished to the public.

Jughead and Veronica blame their fathers mistakes and their bad behavior for their respective families falling apart

Jughead and Veronica are born in the same year (2001) and are therefore, the same age

Jughead and Veronica were emotionally abused by their fathers

Jughead and Veronica were emotionally neglected by their mothers

Jughead and Veronica didn’t receive much emotional nurturing and love from their mothers

Jughead and Veronica had an older “mentor” or paternal figure guiding them in their respective father’s absence: When Jughead’s father FP was in jail, Tall Boy served as an older mentor and a paternal figure for Jughead; When Veronica’s father Hiram was in jail, Smithers served as mentor and a paternal substitute for Veronica

Jughead and Veronica’s respective older mentors betrayed their fathers: Tall Boy, who was Jughead’s older mentor, betrayed FP and the Southside Serpents when he chose to work for Hiram Lodge; Smithers, who became Veronica’s paternal figure and who served Hiram Lodge and the Lodge family, betrayed Hiram by spilling to Jughead Hiram’s secret plans for Riverdale and the Southside

Jughead and Veronica have felt like “outcasts” and like they don’t fit in: Jughead is an outcast because he is a brooding loner who is anti social and considers himself a “weirdo”; Veronica was an outcast because she was the new girl who came to Riverdale from a big city (NYC) trying to adapt to a small town in addition to having to deal with the scrutiny that she received from others due to her father’s publicly criminal behaviour that landed him in prison

Jughead and Veronica have ben bullied by Northside kids: Jughead has been harassed and bullied repeatedly by Northsiders since he was a child due to being a loner, a weirdo outcast and a boy from the wrong side of the tracks (Southside). In 2x10, Jughead was also bullied by Reggie and the Riverdale Bull Dogs for being a Southside Serpent and wearing a Serpent jacket at school; In 2x16, Veronica was bullied, humiliated and harassed by numerous Northside kids including Ethel, Reggie, and Josie because it was discovered that she was involved in her family’s criminal, underhanded plans and business for Riverdale.

Jughead and Veronica were bullied by Reggie Mantle: In 2x10, Jughead was bullied and beaten up by Reggie because Jughead chose to defy orders and wear his Southside Serpent jacket at school; In 2x16, Veronica was bullied and taunted by Reggie when he found out that Veronica was going to run for student body council president and the fact that she was involved in her family’s shady business.

Jughead and Veronica got into a physical fight with Reggie after being harassed/bullied by him: In 2x10, Jughead got into a physical fight with Reggie after Reggie taunted him to remove his Serpent jacket at school and Jughead refused to do so; In 2x16, Veronica punched Reggie after he taunted her about her family’s plans to build a for profit prison and her father likely being the first inmate in the very prison that he is building

Jughead and Veronica’s older half siblings (Charles for Jughead; Hermosa for Veronica) are shady people who are up to no good

Jughead and Veronica made up with their best friends (Archie and Betty) in 1x02 and they both went to Pop’s Diner to rekindle their friendships

Jughead and Veronica come from underhanded criminal families or backgrounds: Jughead comes from a gangster/gang family (the Southside Serpents); Veronica comes from a morally corrupt business/mob/Mafia family (the American Mafia)

Jughead and Veronica face tons of struggles, trials and tribulations because of joining their respective criminal worlds

Jughead and Veronica have a disdainful opinion of the social status that is opposite to theirs: Jughead has a negative view and opinion on the wealthy and the Northside in general. He declares war on Hiram Lodge and the Northside in general, believing them to be greedy, corrupt colonialists who want power, money and to control everything; Veronica has a negative view and opinion of the poor and the Southside in general. She believes that they are beneath those who have money and wealth and that the Southside needs the Northside to improve their way of life. Veronica is behind her parents nefarious plans to overhaul the Southside even if it means robbing the Southside people of their homes and identities

Jughead and Veronica join cultures or ways of life that are considered to be barbaric or taboo yet also their family legacies in season 2: Jughead joins the Southside Serpents, a criminal biker gang who conducts criminal activity for a living, embracing his legacy as a criminal gang member; Veronica joins Lodge Industries criminal empire and joins the American Mafia, becoming a Mafia princess

Jughead and Veronica have criminal, convict fathers who’ve committed numerous illegal activities and crimes (FP for Jughead; Hiram for Veronica): Jughead’s father FP is a gang member who has repeatedly broken the law and conducted illegal and criminal activity such as drug trafficking. gang violence, petty theft, covered up murder, and committed attempted murder. FP ended up being sent to prison after being found guilty for covering the body and the murder of Jason Blossom; Veronica’s father Hiram is a crime boss and part of the mob/American Mafia. In addition, he’s a drug lord and a wealthy, powerful and corrupt businessman. Hiram has committed numerous crimes including fraud and embezzlement, money laundering, murder, drug trafficking, gambling, and loan sharking. Hiram was sent to prison for committing fraud and embezzlement.

Both J and V have criminal mothers who conduct illegal activity (Gladys for Jughead; Hermione for Veronica): Jughead’s mother Gladys is a powerful gang leader of the Toledo Serpents and therefore, has conducted illegal activity as a gang member. She has committed possible murder, attempted murder, theft, drug trafficking, gang violence, and wants to become a drug lord by taking over Hiram Lodge’s drug empire in Riverdale; Hermione is the wife of a powerful crime boss Hiram Lodge making her a Mafia/mob wife. She has conducted a lot of illegal and criminal offences such as faking signatures on documents, carrying out illegal real estate dealings for her husband, murder (she has killed 2 men in cold blood and attempted to kill a 3rd), attempted murder (against her husband Hiram), blackmail, framing attempted murder against a member of law enforcement (she tried to frame sheriff Jones for murder though Hermione was the one who hired FP to shoot and kill Hiram), possible theft and money laundering, loan sharking, etc.

Both Jughead and Veronica’s criminal families have a weapon of choice that they use: Jughead, his family and the Southside Serpents’ weapon of choice are knives or blades; Veronica, her family and the American Mafia’s weapon of choice are guns

Both Jughead and Veronica’s families are involved in the drug business, a drug organization, a drug cartel or drug trafficking: Jughead’s father FP was involved in drug trafficking as a Southside Serpent and Jughead’s mother Gladys wants to take over Hiram’s drug empire after moving back to Riverdale; Veronica’s father Hiram is a drug lord and is the head of a drug organization in Riverdale. He peddles the two main drugs sold in Riverdale, which are Fizzle Rocks and Jingle Jangle.

Both Jughead and Veronica have a criminal father or a father who’s involved in crime and criminal activity: Jughead’s dad FP Jones is a gang member or a gangster and the leader of a criminal biker gang called the Southside Serpents. He has been involved in numerous crimes including petty theft, gang violence, the coverup of a murder, drug trafficking, attempted murder, etc; Veronica’s dad Hiram Lodge is a morally corrupt businessman, industrialist and CEO of multi-billion dollar company called Lodge Industries. It’s also later revealed that Hiram is also a crime boss/mobster. Hiram has been involved in shady business dealings, committed fraud and embezzlement, money laundering, murder, etc.

Both Jughead and Veronica’s fathers are the “Kings” or most powerful leaders of their respective sides, groups or communities (the Southside for FP Jones; the Northside for Hiram Lodge): Jughead’s father FP Jones is the “King” and the official leader of the criminal biker gang the Southside Serpents. He’s also referred to as the King of the Southside due to being the most powerful figure/man on the Southside and because all of the Serpents defer to him and follow him with loyalty; Veronica’s father Hiram Lodge is the CEO/President of a powerful multi-billion dollar company called Lodge Industries. He’s also a crime boss and is at the top of the hierarchy of a crime organization. Hiram is viewed as the “King” of the Northside because he’s the richest and most powerful man in all of Riverdale and one of the richest men in the world. Hiram also inspires devotion and loyalty from everyone in the Northside and has many people working for him to carry out his criminal projects including Mayor McCoy, Sheriff Keller, Hermione Lodge, and Fred Andrews, etc.

Both Jughead and Veronica have serious daddy issues or issues with their dads: Jughead has frequently been disappointed by his father’s behavior and not getting his act together because he’s constantly getting into legal trouble and caused the break down of the Jones family; Veronica ends up disappointed in her father because of the fact that he’s a criminal who’s hurt so many innocent people and he got into legal trouble and went to jail because of it

Both Jughead and Veronica’s fathers have been to prison or served time in jail: Jughead’s father FP Jones went to prison after he took part in the covering up of Jason Blossom’s murder; Veronica’s father Hiram Lodge went to prison after he committed illegal business activity along with fraud and embezzlement

Both J and V were strongly emotionally affected by their fathers being arrested and going to jail

Both Jughead and Veronica are the second child of their fathers: Jughead is the second child of FP Jones–FP has a son older than Jughead named Charles and a daughter younger than Jughead named Jellybean; Veronica is the second child of Hiram Lodge–Hiram has a daughter older than Veronica named Hermosa

Both Jughead and Veronica are the second child of the same gender of their respective fathers: Jughead is the second son of FP as FP has an older and first born son named Charles; Veronica is the second daughter of Hiram as Hiram has an older and first born daughter named Hermosa

Both Jughead and Veronica are the first child of their mothers: Jughead is the first child of Gladys Jones; Veronica is the first child and only child of Hermione Lode

Both Jughead and Veronica have had a parent work at Pop’s Diner: Hermione worked as a waitress at Pop’s in Season 1; FP was working as a busboy at Pop’s in Season 2

Both Jughead and Veronica’s parent who worked at Pop’s (FP for Jughead, Hermione for Veronica) ended up either quitting, leaving, or being fired from their job at Pop’s: Hiram fired FP from Pop’s Diner simply because he was a Jones and a Serpent; Hermione quit her job at Pop’s and instead took a job as Fred’s bookkeeper at Andrews Construction Company.

Both Jughead and Veronica have experienced Cheryl antagonizing their parent at Pop’s Diner while they were working: Cheryl antagonized Hermione while she was a waitress; Cheryl antagonized FP while he was a busboy/waiter

Both Jughead and Veronica stepped in to stop Cheryl from attacking FP and Hermione respectively (2x08 for Jughead; 1x04 for Veronica)

Both Jughead and Veronica have mommy issues or issues with their mother: Jughead mother Gladys physically abandoned him by leaving FP and Jughead behind, taking Jellybean and relocating to Ohio to live with her parents; Veronica’s mother Hermione eventually revealed herself to be emotionally abusive (she threatened to physically hit/beat Veronica for not standing in line with the rest of the corrupt Lodge family and for questioning her father), domineering and controlling towards Veronica and turned out to be just as bad or corrupt as Hiram

Both Jughead and Veronica have an alcoholic parent or a parent who drinks too much: Jughead’s dad FP is an alcoholic who has repeatedly fallen off the wagon and turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism after having endless financial, family and legal troubles; Veronica’s mom Hermione is a silent alcoholic who’s frequently seen to be drinking as a way to deal with her personal issues and her loveless, emotionally distant and horrible marriage to Hiram

Both Jughead and Veronica have faced a financial crisis within their families: Jughead used to be part of a working class family as his father FP worked for Andrews Construction Company but FP ended up being fired by Fred Andrews because FP was constantly getting into legal troubles and conducting criminal behaviour. This resulted in the Jones family losing what little finances they had in the first place and placing them in the poor, impoverished social-economic status; Veronica’s father Hiram is a very wealthy, rich and powerful billionaire and the Lodge family were one of the richest families in the world due to Hiram being a very powerful business who’s the CEO and President of a multi-billion dollar company called Lodge Industries. However, Hiram, along with Hermione and Veronica, lost everything, including their many homes, cars, boats, yachts, and even finances after the authorities arrested Hiram for committing illegal, criminal and underhanded business activity and white collar crimes such as fraud and embezzlement. Although they were still considered to be wealthy enough and still had plenty of money, Hermione and Veronica were forced to leave New York City and relocate to Hermione’s hometown of Riverdale to start over. As of Season 2 since Hiram has been released, Hiram has gone back to being the rich, powerful businessman and industrialist he was before he was arrested and went to jail. He’s currently the most powerful, rich and affluent man in Riverdale and the Lodge family are the richest family in Riverdale (even mores than the Blossoms since the Blossom family are now bankrupt and financially broke) along with being one of the richest/wealthiest families in the world

Both Jughead and Veronica are the heir/heiress of a criminal empire: Jughead is expected to take his father FP’s place as the leader and the “king” of the Southside Serpents, a criminal biker gang; Veronica is expected to take her father’s place as the CEO and President of Lodge Industries, a multi-billion dollar criminal business empire as well as become a future Queenpin and Mafia princess

Both Jughead and Veronica have been referred to as being royalty of their respective criminal communities: Jughead has been referred to as the “Serpent Prince”; Veronica has been referred to as the “Mafia Princess”

Both Jughead and Veronica faced struggles and adversities in finding themselves within their respective communities: Jughead faced many trials and tribulations during the process of becoming a Southside Serpent and his life became more difficult after becoming a member of the gang; Veronica also faced much criticism from other people because of her being involved in her family business which resulted in the destruction of many peoples lives, especially those from the Southside

Both Jughead and Veronica have been a new transfer student to a new school: Veronica was a new transfer student to Riverdale High from the Spence School in New York City; Jughead was a new transfer student to Southside High from Riverdale High

Both Jughead and Veronica have broken the bro or girl code: Jughead kissed Toni almost immediately after breaking up with Betty; Veronica kissed Archie in the closest even though she knew that Betty liked Archie

Both Jughead and Veronica had a benevolent relationship with their first loves: Jughead has a friendship with Betty before he got into a relationshiop with her; Veronica had an instant attraction and was immediately drawn to Archie before she got into a relationship with him

Both Jughead and Veronica made love in 1x13 (although Jughead ended up not making love while Veronica did): Jughead and Betty almost made love at his trailer in 1x13 but was interrupted by the Serpents when they came to his house to get him to join the gang; Veronica and Archie made love at The Pembrooke in 1x13 and weren’t interrupted by Veronica’s parents

Both Jughead and Veronica had their first times with their respective lovers (Betty for Jughead; Archie for Veronica) at their homes: Jughead’s first time with Betty was at his trailer in 2x12; Veronica’s first time with Archie was at her apartment in 1x13

Both Jughead and Veronica are involved in some sort of love triangle: Jughead is involved in a semi-love triangle with Betty and Toni as well as a possible love triangle with Betty and Archie; Veronica is involved in a love triangle with Betty and Archie and later on, Archie and Reggie

Both Jughead and Veronica are considered to be “secondary characters” to Archie and Betty, who are the main characters, respectively.

Both Jughead and Veronica go from being secondary characters who are seriously underestimated and judged by others to powerful leaders throughout season 1 to season 3.

Both Jughead and Veronica were “juvenile delinquents”/rebellious children: Jughead spent some time in a juvenile detention centre because he was playing with matches and had appeared to attempt arson and trying to set his elementary school on fire; Veronica was a mean girl and bully who tormented other girls for fun, namely a girl named Paige, which spurned her to have emotional issues and leave the school she was attending

Both Jughead and Veronica have done something during their childhoods they regret now: Jughead regretted almost burning his elementary school down while playing with matches; Veronica regretted bullying others, especially a girl named Paige who ended up suffering intense emotional issues because of her bullying

Both Jughead and Veronica’s fathers are heavy drinkers who are always seen with an alcoholic beverage: Jughead’s father FP is constantly seen to be drinking beer and he’s an on and off the wagon alcoholic; Veronica’s father Hiram is constantly seen to be drinking Scotch or whiskey and Veronica’s mother Hermione has a love of drinking wine

Both Jughead and Veronica’s fathers may love them but they don’t necessarily respect them and they often underestimate Jughead and Veronica’s capabilities

Both Jughead and Veronica have 8 letters in their first names (Forsythe and Veronica)

Both Jughead and Veronica have 5 letters in their last names

Both Jughead and Veronica’s first names begin with a non-vowel: F for Jughead and V for Veronica

Both Jughead and Veronica’s middle names begin with a non-vowel: P for Jughead and C for Veronica

Both Jughead and Veronica’s surnames begin with a non-vowel: J for Jughead and L for Veronica

Both Jughead and Veronica have an O as the second letter in their surnames (Jones and Lodge)

Both Jughead and Veronica’s first names have an even number of letters: Jughead’s first name has 8 letters; Veronica’s first name has 8 letters as well

Both Jughead and Veronica’s surnames have an odd number of letters: Jughead’s surname has 5 letters; Veronica’s surname has 5 letters

Both Jughead and Veronica’s middle names has an odd number of letters: Jughead’s middle name Pendleton has 9 letters; Veronica’s middle name Cecilia has 7 letters

Both Jughead and Veronica have middle names with E as the second letter: Pendleton for Jughead; Cecilia for Veronica

Both Jughead and Veronica’s surnames/last names (Jones and Lodge) are of English origin

Both Jughead and Veronica have nicknames that end with an “ie” (”Juggie” for Jughead; “Ronnie” for Veronica)

Both Jughead and Veronica have a nickname/shortened name/pet name with 3 letters (”Jug” for Jughead; “Ron” for Veronica)

Both Jughead and Veronica have preppy/posh/wealthy/upper-crust/rich sounding names: Jughead’s full name is Forsythe Pendleton Jones III, Veronica’s full name is Veronica Cecilia Lodge

Both Jughead and Veronica’s first names don’t start with a vowel and start with a consonant (F for Jughead, V for Veronica)

Both Jughead and Veronica’s last names don’t start with a vowel/start with a consonant (J for Jones, L for Lodge)

Both Jughead and Veronica have a nickname or pet name (Jughead and Ronnie)

Both Jughead and Veronica have a signature clothing item or iconic item that they wear all the time or never take off: Jughead has his crowned shaped beanie and S shirts, Veronica has pearl necklaces/pearls and Birkin bag

Both Jughead and Veronica always carry a bag: Jughead is constantly seen carrying a side bag containing his laptop in it; Veronica is constantly seen carrying a black Birkin bag

Both Jughead and Veronica have black or dark hair

Both Jughead and Veronica have wavy hair

Both Jughead and Veronica are dating someone with light colored hair: Jughead is dating blonde-haired Betty; Veronica is dating red-haired Archie

Both Jughead and Veronica were the ones to initiate their first kiss with Betty and Archie respectively: Jughead kissed Archie in her room in 1x06 and made the first move on her; Veronica kissed Archie in the closest at Cheryl’s house in 1x01 and made the first move on Archie

Both Jughead and Veronica had never been in love before being with Betty and Archie respectively. In other words, Betty and Archie are Jughead and Veronica’s official first loves.

Both Jughead and Veronica were incredibly ostracized by other people at the start of the series because of who they were, where they came from, or what happened to them: Jughead has always been bullied, isolated and ostracized by other people because he’s a loner and from the Southside. He has been repeatedly bullied and harassed by Northside kids, primarily by Reggie Mantle. Jughead isolated himself away from others and didn’t have many friends outside of Archie and Betty because he had a deep insecurity and fear of being judged and criticized by others; Veronica was somewhat judged and ostracized by the townsfolk of Riverdale because of what her father Hiram Lodge did back in New York City. Veronica’s family scandal made onto the news and people immediately felt that Veronica was simply the daughter of a criminal businessman and that she was no different from her father. Other people, such as Mrs. Muggs, passed the blame onto Veronica for what her father did to her husband. Jughead and Veronica were always being judged by others without getting to know them.

Both Jughead and Veronica are dating someone who’s the complete opposite of them in every way imaginable: Jughead, who’s extremely poor, an anti-social loner and an “edgy, bad boy” from the wrong side of the tracks from the Southside, is dating seemingly perfect, middle class, girl next door from the Northside Betty Cooper; Veronica, who’s insanely rich or wealthy, a former socialite who lived a life of extreme luxury and privilege and a former alpha bitch and mean girl from New York City, is dating working class, middle class, humble, down to earth small town boy next door from Riverdale Archie Andrews)

Both Jughead and Veronica eventually become reluctant allies with their opposing side (the Northside for Jughead; the Southside for Veronica)

Both Jughead and Veronica are dutiful children to their family legacy: Jughead is dutiful towards FP and the Southside Serpents; Veronica is dutiful towards Hiram and the Mafia

Both Jughead and Veronica have idealized notions about their respective family legacies: Jughead has an idealized opinion about the Serpents and is desperate to be a part of the Southside Serpent world because of how much he admires it. He insists in joining the gang despite how many dangers that come along with being a gang member; Veronica is idealistically naive about the Lodge family business and wants to know everything that goes on with in. She insists on being involved with her family’s business plans for Riverdale despite the repercussions that she could face due to being a part of it

Both Jughead and Veronica use sarcasm, snark and wit to hide their vulnerable emotions or pain

Both Jughead and Veronica have insecurities about their morality: Jughead sees himself as a dark, anti social, brooding loner who has a fascination with death and getting involved in constant criminal activity; Veronica saw herself as a rebellious bad girl and a bully who got pleasure from tormenting others for her own amusement

Both Jughead and Veronica’s fathers (FP for Jughead, Hiram for Veronica) are resistant and reluctant about the both of them getting involved in the family business: FP is reluctant and resistant to Jughead being a Southside Serpent and instead wants him to focus on his education and going to a good university or college; Hiram is reluctant to Veronica being involved in the Lodge family business and being in the know about the Lodge family business secrets

Both Jughead and Veronica’s fathers (FP for Jughead, Hiram for Veronica) eventually accept them as members of their family legacy/business after initially being against it

Both Jughead and Veronica have a love and appreciation for literature

Both Jughead and Veronica love reading books and novels

Both Jughead and Veronica have a strong love and appreciation for pop culture (film, literature, television, music)

Both Jughead and Veronica love going to the movie theatre

Both Jughead and Veronica love watching movies and films

Both Jughead and Veronica make consistent pop culture references on the show

Both Jughead and Veronica love Romeo & Juliet

Both Jughead and Veronica have referenced Romeo & Juliet and In Cold Blood in the show (to Betty of all people!)

Both Jughead and Veronica have pets in the comics: Jughead has a dog named Hot Dog; Veronica has had numerous dogs and cats, including two dogs named Fifi and Lucretia, the latter who ended up having a romantic relationship with Jughead’s dog Hot Dog, in addition to having three purebred cats including Minari, Beatrice and Smedley

Both Jughead and Veronica are dating each other’s best friend (Veronica is dating Archie who’s Jughead’s best friend while Jughead is dating Betty who’s Veronica’s best friend)

Both Jughead and Veronica’s respective best friends have light coloured hair: Jughead’s best friend Archie has red hair; Veronica’s best friend Betty has blonde hair

Both Jughead and Veronica are close friends with someone who has red hair: Jughead is best friends with Archie who has red hair; Veronica is very close friends with Cheryl who has red hair

Both Jughead and Veronica first met each other at Pop’s Diner

Both Jughead and Veronica have a preference for wearing dark colours, particularly black or dark blue

Both Jughead and Veronica like to wear plaid clothing: Jughead is often seen waring a plaid jacket, a plaid shirt or wearing a plaid shirt wrapped around his waist; Veronica often wears plaid skirts

Both Jughead and Veronica are methodical but in different ways: Jughead is more analytical while Veronica is more intuitive

Both Jughead and Veronica are highly observant

Both Jughead and Veronica’s first appearance on the show is at Pop’s Diner

Both Jughead and Veronica are highly sarcastic and snarky

Both Jughead and Veronica are calm, cool, and even tempered unless provoked into anger

Both Jughead and Veronica have pragmatic and realist mentalities

Both Jughead and Veronica dislike unnecessary violence and will only use it when it’s completely essential or necessary

Both Jughead and Veronica can be sulky and brooding when they don’t get their way

Both Jughead and Veronica are disrespectful to their parents at times

Both Jughead and Veronica are rebellious and are likely to break the rules

Both Jughead and Veronica are brave and courageous

Both Jughead and Veronica are blunt and brutally honest

Both Jughead and Veronica have a nasty temper when they are provoked into anger

Both Jughead and Veronica are philosophically minded

Both Jughead and Veronica are right handed

Both Jughead and Veronica are forced into responsibilities and leadership at such a young age

Both Jughead and Veronica have been turned into supernatural creatures in the comics: Jughead was turned into a werewolf 🐺 and Veronica was turned into a vampire 🧛‍♀️

Both Jughead and Veronica was the only child/sole child living at home throughout season’s 1 and 2: Jughead was living as an only child at home because his younger sister Jellybean lived with their mother Gladys in Ohio; Veronica is living as an only child because she’s the sole child of her parents Hiram and Hermione and up at that point, had no known siblings

Both Jughead and Veronica had to become adults at a very young age and had to mature or grow up fast due to their lifestyles and family backgrounds

Both Jughead and Veronica have been disrespected or antagonized by Mayor Sierra McCoy: In 2x12, Mayor McCoy acted antagonistically towards Jughead because she believed that he and the Serpents were the ones who were responsible for the beheading of the General Picken’s statue; In 2x11, Mayor McCoy acted antagonistically towards Veronica because she had a disagreement with Veronica’s parents and how they conducted business

Both Jughead and Veronica’s fathers covered up a murder in 2x13: Jughead’s father FP ended up burying the dead body of the man that either Alice or Chic killed so that he wouldn’t end up getting caught by the authorities in the same way he was caught for the cover up of Jason Blossom’s murder; Veronica’s father Hiram was the one who was responsible for the death of Poppa Poutine yet he is trying to say that he wasn’t the one who killed him and he’s clearly lying to Archie and Veronica about being the one to be indirectly responsible for his murder.

Both Jughead and Veronica got into disagreements with their dads but also made up and resolved their issues with them in 2x09

Both Jughead and Veronica rebelled against their fathers and did something they weren’t supposed to do in 2x09: Jughead kidnapped Penny and attacked her by cutting off her Serpent tattoo with a knife so that she would leave Riverdale and the Southside even though FP warned Jughead to stay away from Penny; Veronica broke into Hiram’s office, snooped into Hiram’s business documents where she discovered that Hiram was the owner of Pop’s Diner and had lied to Veronica about it, and ended up stealing $86,000 from Hiram and Hermione to punish them after they refused to pay off Fred Andrew’s medical bills because of their greedy attitude

Both Jughead and Veronicas fathers (FP and Hiram) have dark hair and dark eyes

Both Jughead and Veronica’s fathers FP and Hiram were possible suspects of the murder of Jason Blossom back in season 1

Both Jughead and Veronica are secondary main characters to the protagonist Archie Andrews

Both Jughead and Veronica care about helping the less than fortunate and those who aren’t privileged

Both Jughead and Veronica strongly desired to follow in their fathers footsteps: Jughead wanted to be a Southside Serpent in season 2 and embrace the Serpent legacy like his father did; Veronica wanted to be involved in the Lodge family business and take over her father’s businesses and company in season 2

Both Jughead and Veronica are trying to empower the Southside and Northside respectively by bringing down or destroying the opposing side: Jughead is a Southsider who’s passionate about letting his hatred for the Northside be known. He’s willing to make controversial choices and actions such as writing and publishing the article about Pickens Day which led to him suffering negative consequences such as the head chopping of the General Picken’s statue which sparked a rivalry between the Southside and Northside and losing his position as an editor for the high school newspaper the Blue and Gold; Veronica is a Northsider who’s apathetic about taking part in a business project (SoDale) that involves the complete destruction of the Southside. Veronica was in on the closing of Southside High, is okay with celebrating Picken’s Day which is a controversial holiday due to Pickens being responsible for the death of 400 people of an ancient Native American tribe, and has no problem with her father being the cause of the destruction of the Southside

Both Jughead and Veronica have a strong desire to keep their families together no matter how dysfunctional or broken they are

Both Jughead and Veronica are in a relationship with someone who’s from the Northside of Riverdale: Jughead is in love with Betty and Veronica is in love with Archie

Both Jughead and Veronica are part of worlds or communities which are considered to be morally corrupt, criminal or barbaric: Jughead is a member of the Southside Serpents which is a criminal biker gang that engages in numerous illegal and criminal activity including drug dealing/drug trafficking, drive by-shootings, gang violence and fighting, robbery, kidnapping, extortion, theft, vandalism, drag racing; Veronica is a part of the criminal business company of Lodge Industries. Lodge Industries is also a mob/criminal organization with Hiram Lodge being the CEO/President of the company along with being a crime boss

Both Jughead and Veronica chose to be a part of their criminal, illegal family business

Both Jughead and Veronica have a more unconventional way of getting around/transportation: Jughead rides motorcycles; Veronica gets driven around in a limousine with a driver

Both Jughead and Veronica have faced parental abandonment at some point in their lives: Jughead’s mom Gladys abandoned the Jones family by leaving FP and Jughead and taking his younger sister Jellybean to Ohio to live with her parents; Veronica’s dad Hiram was absent for a part of Veronica’s life because he had committed illegal business activity and was arrested, spending months in jail for fraud and embezzlement

Both Jughead and Veronica were raised by a sole parent or one parent in Season 1: Jughead was being raised by FP because his mother had left the family; Veronica was being raised by Hermione because her father was serving time in prison

Both Jughead and Veronica are willing to stand up and fight for the “underdog”: Jughead has repeatedly advocated for justice for the Southside/Southside Serpents because of their less than privileged background and poverty stricken socio-economic status. He wrote an article exposing Riverdale’s history and how the Northside has negatively affected the well being of the Southside; Veronica has repeatedly been there for/supported those who have been traumatized/bullied/mistreated including giving emotional comfort and support to Cheryl after the death of her brother Jason, standing up to Cheryl when she was humiliating Betty in front of everyone at the River Vixens cheerleading tryouts, standing up for all the girls when Cheryl was calling them misogynistic names/slurs, going against her greedy parents by taking $86,000 and paying off Fred Andrews’ medical bills, warning Mayor McCoy that her family plans on exposing her scandals for petty reasons

Both Jughead and Veronica have had to play the role of emotional rock to their significant others: Jughead provided emotional support and comfort for Betty when Betty was facing family troubles with Polly in Season 1; Veronica provided emotional support and comfort for Archie after Archie’s father Fred was shot by the Black Hood and he was suffering from trauma/PTSD as a result

Both Jughead and Veronica are very dutiful to their parents and their family legacy: Jughead is dutiful to his father FP and to the Southside Serpents because he’s desperate to prove himself to his father that he’s worthy enough to be a Serpent; Veronica is dutiful to her father Hiram and to Lodge Industries because she’s desperate to gain her father’s approval and she strongly wants to be a included in the Lodge family

Both Jughead and Veronica inspire loyalty in others: Jughead inspires loyalty from the Southside Serpents and they strongly have his back during the difficult times; Veronica inspires loyalty from her friends and Riverdale High to the extent that she becomes the most popular girl in school because of her charming, magnetic personality

Both Jughead and Veronica are natural born leaders: Jughead shows leadership qualities after he joins the Serpents and at the end of season 2, he becomes the Serpent King after his father FP steps down; Veronica shows leadership skills in her desire to run for Student Council President, her desire to take over her father’s multi billion dollar company one day and become a powerful and wealthy business woman. She buys Pop’s Diner from her father and turns the basement of the diner into her very own speakeasy called La Bonne Nuit. Veronica has taken the lead in regards to owning businesses and has become a young entrepreneur. Their leadership skills and ability to lead people is showcased in the episode 3x05 when Jughead and Veronica are talking to their subordinates (Jughead talking with the Serpents; Veronica talking to her speakeasy employees and friends) in a split screen scene of the two of the,, showcasing the parallel of Jughead and Veronica being leaders

Both Jughead and Veronica lash out at others verbally and say hurtful things when they are angry, hurt or upset

Both Jughead and Veronica originally are prejudiced or have had a bad opinion of the Northside and Southside respectively

Both Jughead and Veronica have had to learn how to adjust to a new environment: After Jughead’s father was sent to serve time in jail, Jughead was forced to relocate from Riverdale High to attending Southside High; Following a scandal within her family and her father being arrested for white collar crimes, Veronica and her family were forced to flee her hometwon of New York City and move to Riverdale where she had to transfer from the luxurious and expensive private school The Spence School and become a new transfer student at Riverdale High. Whereas Jughead managed to adjust rather well and easily into his new environment of Southside High; Veronica had more of a difficult time adjusting to attending Riverdale High and living a small-town lifestyle.

Both Jughead and Veronica have openly expressed disgust or dislike about the opposing side (Northside and Southside): Jughead has expressed how much he hates the Northside and how he resents them for their privileged and arrogant ways; Veronica has expressed how she distrusts the Southside and how she believes that the Southside Serpents are dangerous, scummy criminals who are causing problems in Riverdale

Both Jughead and Veronica appear intimidating at first sight but are actually very kind and caring once others get to know them: Jughead comes across as intimidating and aloof because he’s a moody, intense loner who doesn’t fit in with the regular crowd but underneath his edgy, moody facade is someone who’s very kind, caring, loving and loyal to those he cares about including his friends and family; Veronica comes across as intimidating because she’s a spoiled, privileged, rich big city girl who has a scandalous, criminal family and was portrayed as a mean girl/alpha bitch/ice queen/bully in the news/media. However, Veronica actually has a good heart underneath her ice queen facade and is kind, caring, helpful and loyal to her friends and family.

Both Jughead and Veronica have a creative mind or side of their personalities: Jughead is into writing/literature; Veronica is into music and drawing

Both Jughead and Veronica have a very realistic and pragmatic approach to love and romance (in contrast to Archie and Betty’s idealistic approach to love and romance)

Both Jughead and Veronica have threatened someone with a weapon: Jughead threatened Penny Peabody with a knife and cut off her Serpent tattoo with it so she would leave town; Veronica shot off a gun in the rain so that she could end the bloody, violent fight/brawl that was occurring between the Northside and the Southside

Both Jughead and Veronica are fearful of corrupting their significant others with their immoral lifestyles: Jughead pushes Betty away because he doesn’t want her to integrate in his world of the Southside Serpents; Veronica pushes Archie away because she doesn’t want Archie to become corrupted by her father and the criminal business family of the Lodges

Both Jughead and Veronica had never had a serious romantic relationship prior to Betty and Archie respectively

Both Jughead and Veronica have never been in love before Betty and Archie

Both Jughead and Veronica are currently dating their first love (Betty for Jughead; Archie for Veronica)

Both Jughead and Veronica’s significant other is going down a dark path in Season 2 and they are both trying to stop it or prevent them from becoming dark or getting morally corrupted

Both Jughead and Veronica take time to fully fall in love and commit themselves to a relationship

Both Jughead and Veronica have been exiled from somewhere important to them:Jughead was exiled from the Southside Serpents for mutilating Penny Peabody; Veronica was “exiled” from New York City and forced to flee her home and relocate to Riverdale after her father committed illegal and criminal business activity and their scandals made the news and tarnished the Lodge family name and reputation

Both Jughead and Veronica are living an illegal double life: Jughead is a member of the Southside Serpents which is a criminal biker gang that engages in criminal and illegal activity; Veronica is working for Lodge Industries, which is a criminal business empire and company that’s engaging in illegal, criminal, shady business dealings and ventures. In addition, she is a mob princess as her father Hiram is a crime boss and a member of the Mafia.

Both Jughead and Veronica got into fake fights or arguments with their best friend in 2x05: Jughead got into a semi fight with Archie after Betty sent him to break up with Jughead for her and Archie told Jughead that Betty doesn’t want to be with him anymore in addition to discovering that Jughead officially joined the Serpents which angered Archie; Betty got into a confrontation with Veronica at Nick St. Clair’s party when Betty told Veronica that she’s a bad person and that she’ll always be the same party girl who’ll never change and be a better person

Both Jughead and Veronica were the victims of the Black Hood’s threats through Betty in 2x05: The Black Hood had threatened Betty that if she didn’t break off her relationship with Jughead then he would cause him harm so Betty had to get Archie to break up with Jughead for her in order to protect him from the Black Hood; The Black Hood had threatened Betty that if she didn’t break off her friendship with Veronica then the Black Hood would cause Veronica as well as her older sister Polly harm so Betty started a fight with Veronica at Nick St. Clair’s party and said mean things to her face in order to get Veronica to believe it

The Black Hood had threatened to cause harm to both Jughead and Veronica in the exact same episode (2.05)

Both Jughead and Veronica have referred to their significant other as an emotional rock in their life: Jughead has referred to Betty as being the stability in his life; Veronica has referred to Archie as being the light in her life

Both Jughead and Veronica have been in the shadow of their fathers and have wanted to prove themselves to them: Jughead craved to be a Southside Serpent and wanted to gain his father’s approval so that he could be a part of the Serpent world; Veronica craved to have a bigger role in Lodge Industries and she wanted her father to be completely honest with her about everything that was going on in the company because she wanted to be included in the Lodge family

Both Jughead and Veronica are emotionally tongued tied and have issues with expressing personal feelings, thoughts, and emotions

Both Jughead and Veronica can come across as aloof, distant and unfriendly towards those they hate, dislike or distrust

Both Jughead and Veronica can be incredibly arrogant, pompous, self-righteous and self-centred at times

Both Jughead and Veronica can be viewed as an insufferable genius or a person who acts like a “know it all”

Both Jughead and Veronica have been harassed, blackmailed, or threatened against their will in season 2: Jughead was being blackmailed and harassed by Penny Peabody into dealing drugs for her; Veronica was being harassed and was almost raped by Nick St. Clair in exchange for his family doing a business deal and merger with the Lodges on the SoDale project

Both Jughead and Veronica were the ones to initiate their first sex scenes with Betty and Archie respectively: In 2x12, Jughead was the one to initiate or make the first move by telling Betty to stay instead of going home which led to him and Betty sharing their first time together; In 1x13, Veronica was the one to initiate or make the first move by bringing Archie to her room so that they could have their first time together

Both Jughead and Veronica had a supportive ally while they adjusted to being a part of their criminal communities: Jughead had Toni to support him and help him become a Southside Serpent; Veronica had Archie to support her and assist her with the Lodge family business and mob dealings

Both Jughead and Veronica were romantically or sexually involved with their respective ally of their criminal communities: Jughead had a brief fling with Toni as she helped him become a Serpent; Veronica was in a romantic relationship with Archie as he supported her and assisted her in her family business

Both Jughead and Veronica had their first time with Betty and Archie at their respective houses: Jughead slept with Betty at his trailer; Veronica slept with Archie at her house and in her room

Both Jughead and Veronica appear to be sexually dominant or the “The Dominant” in their relationships (in opposition to Betty and Archie being sexually submissive or “The Submissive”): In 1x13, Jughead was the more aggressive one towards Betty when they almost had their first time and in 2x12, Jughead was the one who made the first move by touching Betty’s leg and undressing Betty while she was on top of him; In 1x13, Veronica was the more aggressive one towards Archie as she was the one who pushed Archie into the door while she was making out with him, in 2x01, Veronica was the one who undressed and stepped into the shower with a naked Archie and engaged in ambiguously sexual times, throughout 2x08, Veronica is always the one who is seen on top of Archie and is always the one aggressively pursuing sexual activity with him

Both Jughead and Veronica broke down crying when they found out their father did something illegal: In 1x11, Jughead broke down crying in his trailer after he discovered that his father FP was “guilty” and had confessed to the murder of Jason Blossom. Jughead broke down in tears at the revelation that his father was facing possibly 20+ years in prison for his crime; In 1x09, Veronica broke down crying in the girls locker room at school after she found out that her father Hiram was the one who was responsible for Manfred Muggs, who’s Ethel Muggs’ father and one of Hiram’s business partners at Lodge Industries, attempting suicide because of the Muggs facing financial troubles and bankruptcy due to Hiram’s illegal business activity and getting arrested.

Both Jughead and Veronica use sarcasm and make snarky comments to hide their emotional vulnerability or pain

Both Jughead and Veronica have a dry, biting and sarcastic sense of humor

Both Jughead and Veronica have similar eating habits: Jughead and Veronica are constantly seen to be eating food and in large quantities and portions

Both Jughead and Veronica love fast food, junk food, and/or comfort food: Jughead loves hamburgers and fries; Veronica loves onion rings and fries

Both Jughead and Veronica love New York (referenced in Riverdale Comics Issue #8)

Both Jughead and Veronica love/have a fascination with The Dakota Apartment in New York City (referenced in Riverdale Comics Issue #8): Jughead’s fascination with The Dakota is because of its history and the fact that John Lennon and many other famous music artists and celebrities have stayed there in the past; Veronica loves The Dakota because it used to be her home before her father was busted and sent to jail and she and her mother were forced to relocate to Riverdale following the scandal that had befallen her family

Both Jughead and Veronica love Fourth Of July fireworks (referenced in Riverdale Comics Issue #0)

Both Jughead and Veronica are capable of holding grudges and not forgiving others easily

Both Jughead and Veronica can come across as rude and unfriendly when they are angry or upset

Both Jughead and Veronica have an intense gaze or stare

Both Jughead and Veronica give off intense death stares to people they dislike/hate/don’t trust

Both Jughead and Veronica have a jealous streak: Jughead has shown jealousy over Betty; Veronica has shown jealousy over Archie

Both Jughead and Veronica have gotten jealous over Archie and Betty’s relationship and connection with each other

Both Jughead and Veronica have shown insecurities/worries/doubts over Archie and Betty’s relationship and have openly verbally expressed their insecurities and concerns about it: In 1x10 during an argument with Betty, Jughead tells Betty that their relationship is on borrowed time because he’s certain that Betty will leave him for Archie once Archie finally reciprocates her feelings; In 1x13, Veronica mentions to Archie that she feels that Archie may have feelings for Betty because she saw him staring at Betty and Jughead together longingly and wistfully at Southside High

Both Jughead and Veronica can be thoughtless and inconsiderate towards others

Both Jughead and Veronica love mysteries and solving things

Both are very intimidating and scary when they are betrayed or crossed

Both Jughead and Veronica have a love for food and eating: Jughead and Veronica are consistently the only two characters who are constantly seen to be eating or enjoying food on the show

Both Jughead and Veronica love coffee and are the only two characters who are consistently seen to be drinking it

Both Jughead and Veronica openly admit to having deep seated issues because of their backgrounds and upbringings

Both Jughead and Veronica have been disappointed by their fathers and their actions

Both Jughead and Veronica are fearful of failing and disappointing their fathers

Both Jughead and Veronica are very manipulative, cunning and intelligent

Both Jughead and Veronica have excellent instincts

Both Jughead and Veronica have campy, over the top and dramatic personalities

Both J and V are the characters to consistently get the cringeworthy and overly dramatic dialogue on the show

Both J and V have an animal symbol that represents their character due to being a member of a specific group: Jughead’s animal symbol is a Serpent or Snake (🐍) due to being a member of the criminal biker gang Southside Serpents; Veronica’s animal symbol is a Cat (🐱) due to being a member of the music band Josie & the Pussycats

Both J and V’s personalities and temperaments fit an element: Jughead’s personality element is Fire 🔥 as Jughead is commonly seen to be surrounded by fire dude to being a Southside Serpent; Veronica’s personality element is Ice ❄️ as Veronica has referred herself as the Ice Princess and that her speciality is ice

Both J and V have qualities of more than one Hogwart House: Jughead is a Slytherclaw (a combo of Slytherin + Ravenclaw); Veronica is a Slytherdor (a combo of Slytherin + Gryffindor)

Both Jughead and Veronica have an “exotic”, “avant garde” or “unusual” type of physical beauty

Both Jughead and Veronica are very curious individuals who want to know everything

Both J and V have Riverdale roots: Jughead’s parents FP and Gladys were born in the Southside of Riverdale while Veronica’s father Hiram grew up in Northside, Riverdale and Veronica’s mom Hermione was born and raised in Northside, Riverdale

Both J and V have a connection to the Southside Serpents: Veronica’s father Hiram fired the Serpents to conduct illegal activity for his criminal business dealings; Jughead’s father FP is the leader of the Serpents and Jughead is a Serpent himself

Both J and V can be very ruthless when they are pissed off, crossed or betrayed

Both J and V can be very pretentious, rude and insulting

Both J and V were outsiders who were eventually accepted into the inner social circles: Jughead started out as a brooding loner who didn’t have many friends other than Archie and Betty, but he eventually expanded his social circle that includes Veronica, Cheryl, Kevin, and the Southside Serpents such as Sweet Pea, Fangs, and Toni; Veronica started out as the infamous new girl to Riverdale who was shunned by others because her father is Hiram Lodge. She eventually becomes friends with Betty, Archie, Jughead, Kevin, Cheryl, Josie, etc, and becomes one of the most popular girls at school

Both can be dramatic and over the top especially when it pertains to something they are passionate about

Both J and V have a very outstanding, noticeable or unique sense of fashion or style: Jughead has an emo/grunge/gangster fashion while Veronica has a socialite/wealthy/upper-crust fashion

Both J and V are outsiders in different ways: Jughead is an outsider in the Northside because he doesn’t fit in as he’s a loner and introverted; Veronica was an outsider when she first came to Riverdale because she was a big city girl who moved to a small town and was known for having a corrupt father and criminal family scandals

Both J and V were shunned by others for different reasons: Jughead was shunned because he’s the nerdy, moody loner turned rebellious angry gang member and Southside Serpent; Veronica was shunned because she was the spoiled, rich, privileged New York City girl with a bad reputation due to her past bad behaviour and family scandals that made the news

Both J and V have broken into someone’s house for investigative reasons or purposes: Jughead broke into the Blossom house; Veronica broke into FP Jone’s trailer

Both J and V are working for their fathers in terms of their family business: Jughead is working for his father FP Jones and conducting criminal business with the Southside Serpents while Veronica is working for her father Hiram Lodge and conducting shady, possibly illegal business for Lodge Industries

Both J and V are slowly becoming more like their fathers in Season 2 despite claiming they don’t want to be like them and criticizing them for their horrible actions in Season 1: Jughead is starting to morph into FP by becoming a Serpent, making impulsive mistakes, acting violent or aggressive, and conducting illegal or stupid behaviour and activity as a Serpent (illegal activity such as drug pushing, drag racing against the Ghoulies, writing a controversial article about Picken’s Day, cutting up Penny’s arm with a knife, etc; Veronica is starting to morph into Hiram by getting involved in her family’s business, acting more manipulative and cunning, lying to Archie and her friends, becoming involved in her father’s underhanded, criminal and shady business dealings, becoming more ingrained in the mob or the Mafia, and being corrupted by power, status and money

Both J and V come from socio-economic classes that are at extreme ends of the spectrum: Jughead comes from a very poor, impoverished socio-economic background while Veronica comes from a very rich, privileged socio-economic background

Both J and V say exactly what’s on their mind and are highly opinionated

Both J and V are very stubborn

Both J and V have strong personal beliefs

Both J and V hide their vulnerability and pain out of fear of appearing emotionally weak

Both J and V are intensely determined when they want or need something; they are not the type to give up at all

Both J and V don’t trust others too easily but when they do they are intensely devoted and loyal to them

Both J and V love fireworks (referenced in the Riverdale Comics)

Both J and V love Independence Day/Fourth of July holiday

Both J and V love the colour black

Both J and V love eating at Pop’s Diner

Both Jughead and Veronica have a preference for ordering chocolate milkshakes

Both J and V wear plaid clothing: Jughead wears plaid shirts and normally ties them around his waist; Veronica wears plaid skirts

Both J and V wear dark or black shoes: Jughead wears black shoes, boots or sneakers; Veronica wears black high heels

Both J and V are passionate and outspoken

Both J and V have a dark side and a light side

Both J and V appear to be aloof and distant on the surface, but are actually kind and caring underneath

Both J and V pretend they’re confident and sure of themselves on the surface, but underneath, they battle serious insecurities and doubt themselves

Both J and V have a deep seated fear that they are bad people or not good enough

Both J and V have feared turning out morally corrupt and as troubled as their fathers

Both J and V don’t smoke cigarettes

BothJ and V are unfairly disliked/mistreated/hated by Cheryl Blossom

Both J and V are linked to drugs somehow: Jughead was involved in dealing drugs, namely Jingle Jangle, as a Southside Serpent in season 2; Veronica used to be a party girl who did hard drugs such as cocaine and marijuana back in New York

Both J and V are on dark journeys which parallel each other in Season 2: Jughead is spiralling into darkness by embracing his role and family legacy as a Southside Serpent while Veronica is spiralling into darkness by embracing her role as a Mafia Princess.

Both Jughead and Veronica “fired” people from their respective criminal communities: In 3x09, Jughead “fired” Cheryl and Toni from the Southside Serpents for conducting illegal activity when they broke into the Lodge Apartment and stole a Glamerge Egg; In 3x11, Veronica “fired” Nico and Leo, two capos who work for Hiram for both of them trying to coerce Veronica to align with Elio Grande’s family, an enemy mob family of the Lodges

Both Jughead and Veronica gave two members of their communities orders in 3x11: Jughead ordered Sweet Pea to follow Hermione Lodge on a case and Fangs to stay in the bunker and watch over Tall Boy’s body so that nobody finds out about the accidental murder; Veronica ordered Nico and Leo, two of Hiram’s capos, to present a united front while Hiram is down for the count so that the Lodge family doesn’t appear weak to the other mob families. In addition, she suggests that Nico and Leo start collecting the vig (a term for a money loan in the mob world)

Both J and V have undying loyalty to their fathers and would do anything for them even if they do something wrong or something that they disagree with (whether legal or illegal)

Both J and V have undying loyalty to their family legacy/business: FP and the Southside Serpents for Jughead, Hiram, Lodge Industries, or the American Mafia for Veronica

Both J and V strongly crave their father’s approval at any cost

Both J and V are proud of who they are and have openly stated so: Jughead has stated that he’s proud to be a Southsider and a Southside Serpent; Veronica has proclaimed that she’s proud to be a privileged Northsider and a Lodge as she told Cheryl to “Never mess with a Lodge” because Lodges always win and get their way

Both J and V are at the top of the hierarchy on their respective sides:Jughead is at the top of the Southside Hierarchy because his father FP was the King of the Southside Serpents. After FP steps down and gives Jughead the Serpent throne, Jughead becomes the King and the most powerful member of the Southside. In addition, Jughead’s father is the Sheriff of Riverdale making him the second most powerful person in the town; Veronica is at the Northside Hierarchy because her father is the richest and most powerful man in the entire town as well as the Northside. Hiram is a powerful, ruthless, and dangerous crime boss and the head of the American Mafia and crime organization. In addition, Veronica’s mother is the Mayor of Riverdale making her the most powerful woman and person in the entire town

Both J and V are the child of the most powerful men of the Southside and Northside: Veronica is the daughter of Hiram Lodge, the most powerful, wealthy and influential man in all of Riverdale; Jughead is the son of FP Jones, the official leader and the “King” of the Southside Serpents

Both J and V are the first child of their parents: Jughead is the first and oldest child of his parents FP and Gladys and he has younger sister named Jellybean; Veronica is the first and only child of her parents Hiram and Hermione and had no siblings growing up

Both J and V are both highly independent

Both J and V have commitment issues

Both J and V come from families that have parents with troubled marriages: Veronica’s parents are married but in an unloving, abusive and distant marriage while Jughead’s parents are separated with his mom leaving both FP and Riverdale by moving to Ohio to live with her parents. Gladys comes back to Riverdale but not to get back together with FP and bring the family back together. Gladys ends up leaving Riverdale once again after almost getting killed. FP insists on Gladys leaving Riverdale once he finds out that Gladys was the head of the drug empire. Hiram files for divorce from Hermione once he discovers that Hermione had tried to have him killed twice. Hiram and Hermione are currently divorced.

Both J and V take a while to express how they feel for someone or fall in love

Both J and V have teased each other for fun

Both J and V love Archie Andrews: Veronica loves Archie romantically while Jughead loves Archie as a best friend and brother

Both J and V love Betty Cooper: Veronica loves Betty as a best friend and sister while Jughead loves Betty romantically

Both J and V have a shared dislike or disdain for Cheryl Blossom, but have shown that they care about her as well

Both J and V are annoyed/irritated/have a rivalry with Reggie Mantle but eventually develop a relationship or bond with him: Both started out hating Reggie but as of seaosn 3, Jughead and Veronica end up becoming allies and romantically involved with Reggie respectively.

Both J and V have a strong dislike, hatred, contempt, or disdain for Chuck Clayton: Jughead hates Chuck for personally attacking Betty and his friends so he punched him in a moment of anger at his birthday party; Veronica hates Chuck because he’s a misogynistic bully who cyber bullied girls for fun and she, along with Betty, plotted to get revenge against him

Both J and V’s berserk buttons are attacking their loved ones whether it’s their friends or family

Both J and V have an ego and believe that they are always right at times which can make them come across as intensely obnoxious

Both J and V don’t regard themselves as overly romantic at first

Both J and V take a long time to open up to others on a personal level out of fear of not being accepted

Both J and V have a deep appreciation and love for art, music, literature, and films

Both J and V love french fries

Both J and V are sheltered in some way: Veronica is a rich, spoiled privileged girl who doesn’t understand the harsh realities of life and has never had to really struggle to get by in life; Jughead is a poor, financially struggling, underprivileged boy who lives in his own isolated world as a loner and can’t see past his own troubles and misfortunes which is one of the major reasons why he has such a hatred, disdain and contempt for the Northside and those who are privileged in life

Both J and V were scolded by friends from their sides (Southside and Northside) in 2x11: Toni, a fellow Serpent and Southsider, called Jughead out for writing a controversial article exposing the history of the town of Riverdale and Picken’s Day which included her grandfather without her permission; Josie, a fellow Northsider, called out Veronica for trying to be manipulative by getting her and her mother Mayor McCoy involved in her family’s shady, corrupt business dealings

Both J and V lied to someone more powerful than themselves in 2x13: Jughead lied to the police or the authorities by telling him that the unknown car that was parked outside was his car when it was really the car that belonged to the murdered man; Veronica lied to her father Hiram about warning Mayor McCoy about her family trying to expose her and Sheriff Keller’s infidelity and affair.

Both J and V walked into their houses and saw someone they least expected in 2x01: Jughead walked into his trailer to find there were Southside Serpents and that the Serpents had interrogated and beaten up one of their own; Veronica walked into her apartment or house to find her father Hiram had finally come home after serving time in prison

Both J and V were upset about the kiss between Archie and Betty but ultimately forgave their partners

Both J and V sleep on the left side of the bed (seen in 2x14)

Both J and V like to read books in bed (seen in 2x14)

Both J and V have been bullied or ostracized at school: Jughead has been bullied by the Northsiders and Riverdale High students because he’s a Southsider, a social misfit and a social outcast who doesn’t belong or fit in; Veronica was bullied by fellow Northsiders and Riverdale High students because of her parents conducting shady business and hurting many families in Riverdale with their criminal and underhanded business dealings including the Muggs, the Jones, the Coopers, the McCoys.

Both J and V have been bullied, harassed, or attacked by Reggie (1x03 and 2x10 for Jughead; 2x16 for Veronica)

Both J and V have been in a physical altercation or fight with Reggie:Jughead has fought with Reggie twice (see 1.03 and 2.10); Veronica has a fight with Reggie and punched him after he insulted her (see 2.16).

Both J and V physically attacked Reggie because he insulted their family: Jughead got into a physical brawl or fight with Reggie because he attacked him (and the Southside Serpents by association who he considers to be his extended family outside of his father) for being a Southside Serpent by telling him to take his Serpent jacket off; Veronica punched Reggie because he insulted her father by telling her that he’s going to be the first inmate in the prison he’s building on the Southside.

Both J and V announced that they are going to run for Student Council President in 2x16.

Both J and V asked Betty to be their running mate or co-president for the Riverdale High Student Body President Election (2x16).

Both J and V go on a mission to save someone in 2.17: Jughead and the Serpents go on a mission to save the Cooper family from petty thugs involved with Chic; Veronica and Toni go on a mission to save Cheryl from the SOQM and undergoing conversion therapy.

Both J and V break into a place in order to save someone: In 2x17, Jughead breaks into the Cooper family home to save the Coopers from being incriminated for covering up the murder of the dead man; Veronica breaks into the Sisters of Quiet Mercy Institute so that she and Toni can break Cheryl out of conversion therapy.

Both J and V made a selfless sacrifice for those they love and care about:In 2.21, Jughead became the sacrificial lamb by sacrificing himself to Hiram Lodge, Penny Peabody and the Ghoulies so that the way between the Serpents and the Ghoulies would end and they would be no more Serpent bloodshed. Jughead offered himself to be beaten to death at the request of Hiram, who hired and payed Penny Peabody and the Ghoulies to do the job and kill Jughead. As a result of his sacrifice, Jughead was brutally beaten and almost died; In 2.22, Veronica sacrificed her entire legacy as a Lodge including her trust fund, her inheritance of Lodge wealth and the Lodge Empire, her 1/3 of Lodge Enterprises, her vote on the board of Lodge Industries, her credit cards, etc just so that she could save Pop’s Diner from being taken over by Hiram. Veronica made the deal to barter the Whyte Wyrn bar (which was the Southside Serpents hangout) for Pop’s Diner because Veronica believes that Pop’s is the one place that she and her friends can call a second home. Veronica was inspired to make this sacrifice especially after finding out that Hiram had fired FP Jones from Pop’s Diner, which would have forced FP and Jughead to go without money and possibly have to depart Riverdale for good. She was also kicked out from her home of The Pembrooke and is now possibly homeless without a place to live. On top of it, Hiram conspired with Sheriff Manetta to frame Archie for murder and have him arrested for a crime he didn’t commit because Archie had threatened Hiram and Veronica had chose Archie and her friends over him. The only thing that she gained out of the whole sacrifice was the love and support of her friends and loved ones.

Both J and V end up taking charge of something major in 2x22: Jughead becomes the King of the Southside Serpents after his father steps down as King and hands over the Serpent throne to his son; Veronica becomes a young entrepreneur after she buys and purchases Pop’s Diner from her father and has the intentions of opening a speakeasy in Pop Diner’s basement.

Both J and V have been homeless or left home due to issues with their dads: In Season 1, Jughead ran away from home because his father was acting like a deadbeat and he had a very strained relationship with him. He was living at first the Twilight Drive In, then at Riverdale High and then at the Andrews Residence as his living space and residence before moving back to the trailer park to live with FP once they fixed their issues and reconciled their relationship; At the end of Season 2, Veronica was “kicked out” of living at The Pembrooke by Hiram after he disinherited her from her legacy as a Lodge for turning her back against him and siding with the Southside Serpents and her friends. It’s unknown if Hermione will allow Hiram to kick Veronica out especially since she’s Mayor of Riverdale and it’s unknown that if Veronica is now homeless where she will end up taking residence.

Both J and V are of the highest ranking teenager of their respective sides of Riverdale (Southside and Northside): Jughead is technically the highest ranking teenager on the Southside because he’s the leader/the Serpent King or King of the Southside Serpents; Veronica is the highest ranking teenager on the Northside because she’s the wealthiest girl in Riverdale, the owner of the biggest business in Riverdale which is Pop’s Diner, the daughter of the richest, most influential and most powerful man in Riverdale and Hiram Lodge, and the daughter of the Mayor of Riverdale Hermione Lodge. Jughead could be referred to as the “Southside King” while Veronica could be referred to as the “Northside Queen”.

Both have been broke and had no money at one point throughout the series: Jughead was originally a working class/lower middle class individual but he lost his finances after his father FP lost his job at Andrews Construction Company–Fred fired FP for stealing materials from the worksite plus he constantly got into legal issues and troubles which Fred had to bail him out of consistently. In addition to his father FP losing his job and his money, Jughead lost his job at the Twilight Movie Theatre Drive-In once it was bought out by an anonymous buyer (Hiram Lodge); Veronica was originally a very wealth, spoiled rich girl who had everything given to her growing up but she and her mother Hermione lost their money and finances after Hiram was incarcerated and sent to prison for committing fraud and embezzlement. Veronica gained her wealth back after her father Hiram was released from jail and came home, but she would end up losing it once more after she sacrificed her entire legacy as a Lodge (her money including her allowance, credit cards, trust fund, and financial inheritance in addition to her portion of 1/3 of Lodge Industries, her vote and her seat on the board and her entire legacy as a Lodge) just so that she could trade the Whyte Wyrm for Pop’s Diner so that she, her friends, and the entire town of Riverdale could have Pop’s as a safe haven.

Both wanted nothing to do with their family legacy in Season 1, but did a 180º and fully embraced their family legacy in Season 2: In season 1, Jughead wanted nothing to do with the Southside Serpens and even expressed disgust and shame over the Serpents being a gang that committed illegal and criminal activity for a living. In fact, Jughead was so against the Serpents, that he didn’t even want to live with FP because he was a Serpent. However, in season 2, he completely changed his mind and chose to embrace his Serpent legacy, first joining the Serpents by doing the Serpent initiation and then becoming a junior leader for the Serpents to becoming the Serpent King at the end of season 2 after FP chooses to step down as the leader and hand Jughead the Serpent throne; In season 1, Veronica wanted nothing to do with Lodge Industries and the Mafia/mob or any of her father’s nefarious, illegal and criminal activity. Veronica was disgusted with her father for how many lives he ruined by conducting criminal activity as a mobster and a dirty businessman. She had a very strained relationship with him once he came back to Riverdale after serving time from jail. However, as season 2 progressed, Veronica intended on being a part of Lodge Industries and the mob family business. She fully embraced her legacy as a mafia princess and the daughter of a powerful crime boss, even lying for her family and doing shady and illegal stuff for her family.

Both Jughead and Veronica battled dark sides in Season 2: Jughead became a much darker person after he started to embrace his legacy as a Southside Serpent. He started to make many impulsive, morally ambiguous and questionable decisions that got himself and the other Serpents in trouble such as cutting off the tattoo off of Penny’s arm; Veronica became a darker person after she stated that she wanted to be part of the Lodge family business and to have a more active role in Lodge Industries. Hr parents ended up using her, corrupting her and manipulating her to do their shady, criminal dirty work for them

Both Jughead and Veronica suffered consequences for their morally ambiguous actions in Season 2: After Jughead had sliced of Penny’s Serpent tattoo, he was temporarily suspended from the Serpents. Karma also struck Jughead after he actively chosen to go after Hiram Lodge with Hiram hiring Penny Peabody (the same woman that he cut the tattoo off of) and the Ghoulies to kill Jughead. Jughead was beaten almost to death and his Serpent tattoo was sliced off by Penny; After others disocvered that Veronica was in on her family’s criminal and shady business, Veronica was bullied, targeted and harassed by her fellow students. She was ostracized and all of her friends turned their backs on her because they felt like she was no different than her parents despite the fact that she only got involved in the family business so that she could prevent her parents from conducting illegal activity.

Both Jughead and Veronica have a parent who went from being a normal citizen in Riverdale to being an elected official within Riverdale and in a position of power and authority: At the end of season 2, Veronica’s mother Hermione was elected as the Mayor of Riverdale. In mid season 3, Jughead’s father FP was appointed as the Sheriff of Riverdale by Hermione.

Both Jughead and Veronica are the children of one parent who’s in a position of authority or power in Riverdale: Veronica is the daughter of Hermione Lodge, the current Mayor of Riverdale; Jughead is the son of FP Jones, the current Sheriff of Riverdale. As of Season 4, Veronica is the daughter of Hiram Lodge, the current Mayor of Riverdale once her mother is arrested and has her role as Mayor stripped from her

Both Jughead and Veronica have run away from home/became homeless because of endless family issues and a strained relationship with their parents: Jughead ran away from home because he had a very strenuous, tension filled relationship with his father FP. He couldn’t take FP’s careless and irresponsible behaviour. Not to mention that Jughead couldn’t stand FP’s constant drinking and alcoholism. He hated his dysfunctional and troubled family environment and so he chose to leave the trailer and live at first, the Twilight Drive In and secondly, Riverdale High in the janitor’s closet. Jughead was revealed to have been secretly living at Riverdale High in 1.07. Archie found out about Jughead’s living situation and told Jughead to come live at the Andrews household until he got the situation with his father straightened out. On the other hand, Veronica ran away from home and moved out of the The Pembrooke Apartment because she could no longer live with Hiram in the same house. She also moved out because she hated how Hermione would constantly side with Hiram and didn’t do anything about it. In 3x07, it was revealed that Veronica ended up living at Pop’s Diner and her speakeasy La Bonne Nuit. She was even seen going to sleep in one of the cubicles at Pop’s Diner. Ironically, both Jughead and Veronica were seen or revealed to be homeless in the 7th episode of season 1 and season 3 respectively (1.07 for Jughead; 3.07 for Veronica).

Both Jughead and Veronica were in the leadership role during 3x5: There was a parallel between Jughead and Veronica in this episode so much that it was filmed in a split screen. Jughead represented the fiction/game aspect of the story while Veronica represented the reality aspect of the story. While Jughead and the other Serpents were playing Gryphons & Gargoyles and was on a game quest, Jughead was playing the role of Game Master and he was telling the story of the Red Paladin (the Red Paladin being Archie in reality) escaping from his prison. Jughead was seen explaining the game and the moves and the story that was happening in their G&G quest to his subordinates, players, and Serpents as the Game Master and as their Serpent King. On the other side of the split screen was Veronica planning Archie’s escape with Betty, Josie, Reggie, and Kevin at La Bonne Nuit. Veronica clearly played the role of Game Master and leader in the realistic world in opposition to Jughead playing the Game Master and leader role in the fictional fantasy world. This scene alone was clearly a parallel made between Jughead and Veronica and highlighted that they are mirrors to each other and that they have parallel journeys.

Both Jughead and Veronica have a villainous mother–Gladys for Jughead; Hermione for Veronica: Jughead’s mother Gladys has revealed to be secretly evil and devious and has really bad attentions. She plans on working with Hiram to take over his drug empire all while using FP and Jughead in the process and fooling them. In addition to manipulating and using FP and Jughead for her nefarious and devious plans for Riverdale, she has corrupted her daughter to be her loyal lapdog and go along with her evil plans. She may be in dirty and underhanded business with Hermione as well; Veronica’s mother Hermione is very villainous and devious. She has done numerous shady and underhanded things including forging signatures, getting involved in profiting off a drug empire, hiring someone to shoot her husband and then framing them for the attempted murder so she doesn’t get the blame, and murdering a man in cold blood.

Both pairs of Jughead and Veronica’s parents (Hiram/Hermione for Veronica; FP/Gladys for Jughead) have numerous coincidental similarities and parallels with each other: Not only do Jughead and Veronica as individual characters have numerous parallels and similarities but each set and combination of Jughead and Veronica’s parents have lots of similarities and parallels as well.

Hiram and FP: Both Hiram and FP are the most powerful men on their respective sides of the town of Riverdale – Hiram for the Northside; FP for the Southside. Hiram is the most powerful man in Northside and all of Riverdale through his significant wealth, status and influence; FP is the most powerful man on the Southside because he was the Southside Serpent King and leader and he has recently been appointed as the new Sheriff of Riverdale. Both Hiram and FP are highly influential on their respective sides of the Northside and Southside. Both of Hiram and FP have been viewed as the “Kings” of their respective sides of Riverdale due to their influence and power. Both Hiram and FP have dark hair and dark eyes. Both of Hiram and FP are criminals, convicts, and felons. Both Hiram and FP have lost their finances, money, jobs, and families due to irresponsibility and criminal activity. Both Hiram and FP have been to jail/prison or served time in jail for crimes they committed – Hiram was sent to prison after committing fraud and embezzlement; FP was sent to jail after he was found guilty for covering up the murder of Jason Blossom. Both Hiram and FP have destroyed their families because they committed crimes. Both Hiram and FP have a daughter–Veronica for Hiram; Jellybean for FP. Both Hiram and FP were the popular kid in high school–the only difference is that Hiram was rich from the Northside while FP was poor from the Southside. Both Hiram and FP were athletes in high school – Hiram was a wrestler; FP was a football player. Both of them have a love of drinking alcohol – FP is always seen drinking six packs of beer while Hiram is always seen drinking whiskey or Scotch. Both Hiram and FP are overprotective fathers to their children. Both Hiram and FP have had extramarital affairs while still married to their spouses – Hiram was having an affair with Ms. Mulwray who was working for him to help doctor reports on the water supply in Riverdale; FP was having an affair with Alice Cooper and is currently still dating her while still being legally married to his estranged wife Gladys). Both Hiram and FP have troubled, distant and estranged marriages with their wives – Hiram is married to Hermione but their relationship is a very distant, cold and unhappy marriage. Hermione clearly doesn’t care for her husband and only stays with him for the money and status that it brings her. Hiram only stays with Hermione because he knows that Hermione is a loyal lapdog to him and she will do whatever he wants, says and does; FP is technically still married to his wife Gladys, but their relationship when they were together was very dysfunctional, troubled and unhappy. Gladys chose to leave FP/the Jones household and take their daughter Jellybean with her to Ohio. She left FP because their marriage was toxic, unhealthy and abusive. FP’s alcoholism plays a huge part in their marriage being dysfunctional and Gladys couldn’t take FP’s drinking and irresponsibility anymore. Both Hiram and FP were having an affair with someone with blonde hair and blue eyes – Hiram’s mistress Ms. Mulwray is blonde with blue eyes; FP’s girlfriend Alice is also a blonde with blue eyes. Both Hiram and FP are involved in organized crime–Hiram is a crime lord/boss and a member of the mob or the American Mafia; FP is a gang member and a member of the criminal biker gang the Southside Serpents. Both Hiram and FP have groomed their respective children to take their place in some sort of leadership role – Hiram has been grooming Veronica to take over his company Lodge Industries and become a powerful, wealthy businesswoman; FP has been grooming Jughead to take his place on the Serpent throne as the leader and King of the Serpents. Both FP and Hiram had abusive father who would beat them whenever they disobeyed them – FP’s father physically beat him and broke his hand when he told him that eh didn’t want to be a Serpent and wanted to go to college instead to get an education; Hiram’s father physical beat him when he found out that Hiram had legally changed his name from Jaime Luna to Hiram Lodge during his early adolescence. Both Hiram and FP have a long lost secret child from their past that they had kept hidden – FP has a long lost son named Charles Smith with his former high school fling Alice Cooper (then Smith); Hiram has a long lost daughter named Hermosa Lodge with a singer whom he had a fling with back in Miami. Both Hiram and FP are currently the most powerful men in Riverdale and are powerful positions of authority in the town – Hiram is the current Mayor of Riverdale while FP is the current Sheriff of Riverdale.

Hiram and Gladys: Both Hiram and Gladys are involved in criminal activity and live a criminal lifestyle. Both Hiram and Gladys are involved in organized crime for a living (Gladys is a member of the Serpents, a criminal motorcycle gang and Hiram is involved with the mob/Mafia). At first, both Hiram and Gladys appear to be trying to change and repair their relationships with their respective estranged children (Veronica for Hiram; Jughead for Gladys), but their real intentions end up being less than noble and good (according to spoilers, Gladys is supposed to reveal herself to be a villain in the upcoming episodes and working for Hiram Lodge–taking over Penny Peabody’s troubleshooting position in Hiram’s drug empire. She supposed to be almost as bad and villainous as Hiram). Both Hiram and Gladys were absent from the children’s lives for a time (Hiram was absent from Veronica’s life while he was serving time in prison; Gladys was absent from Jughead’s life because she left the Jones family household due to her troubled marriage to FP and moved to Ohio to live with her parents). Both Hiram and Gladys are involved in the drug trafficking trade (Hiram is involved with drug trafficking and he has been building a drug empire within Riverdale for all of season 2 and season 3. He has been trafficking Fizzle Rocks and Jingle Jangle; Gladys is supposedly coming back to Riverdale to take over Penny Peabody’s role as troubleshooter for Hiram’s drug empire). Despite their crappy parenting, both Hiram and Gladys show that they do genuinely love and care for their respective children on some level . Both Hiram and Gladys are fiercely protective of those who threaten to hurt or harm their children (Hiram orchestrated a car accident for the St. Clair family once Veronica confessed to her parents that Nick tried to sexually assault and rape her; Gladys either seriously hurt or killed Penny Peabody for attacking her son and having him beat up along with cutting of his Serpent tattoo). Both Gladys and Hiram seem to have a preference for wearing dark or black coloured clothing. Both Gladys and Hiram are very snarky and sarcastic. Both Hiram and Gladys have a desire to take over Riverdale. Both Hiram and Gladys are drug dealers and want to run a drug empire or operation.

FP and Hermione: Both FP and Hermione came from poor (FP) or working class/humble (Hermione) beginnings–FP grew up poor and in poverty on the Southside and had little to no money but pretended to be a Northside He is the son of a gang member/Southside Serpent; Hermione grew up in a working class family on the Northside and admits that though they got by financially, they struggled at times. She is the daughter of a housekeeper. Both FP and Hermione had a strict, controlling parent that they had a tension-filled relationship with when they were teens – FP had an abusive, alcoholic father who was very controlling and demanding towards FP. He wanted FP to join the Southside Serpents and embrace the life of a gang member instead of earning a football scholarship and being the first member of the Jones family to attend college and earn a college education, When FP refused to embrace the Serpent life at first, his father abused him by breaking his arm which was the reason for him sporting the cast; Hermione had a very strict, authoritarian, controlling and extremely religious mother who tried to dictate and control pretty much all aspects of Hermione’s life, but especially her relationships and dating life. Hermione was dating Hiram Lodge during her teen years but her mother did not approve of him because she felt that Hiram was a “scrub”. Despite Hiram’s wealth and privilege, Hermione’s mother didn’t feel that Hiram was good enough for her daughter. Hermione clearly didn’t agree with her mother controlling her dating and love life and she would rebel against her by dating Hiram anyways. Both FP and Hermione were rebellious teens – FP rebelled against his abusive father by telling him that he didn’t want to be a Serpent but he wanted to go to college instead. Unfortunately, it resulted in his father giving FP a broken arm for rebelling and disobeying him; Hermione rebelled against her strict mother by dating Hiram Lodge, even though her mother can’t stand him, thinks he’s a scrub and doesn’t believe he’s suitable for her daughter despite his wealth and privilege. Both FP and Hermione had a fake persona back in high school – FP was poor, came from the Southside, and grew up in a highly dysfunctional, abusive household with an alcoholic, abusive father but he was posing and pretending to be the popular, charismatic, ladies man athlete who came from the Northside. He was referred to as the BMOC at Riverdale High but his star athlete persona was not real and was merely a facade to cover up his true identity as a poverty-stricken Southsider with a Southside Serpent background. Hermione was from a financially struggling working class family on the Northside and she came from a strict, highly religious Catholic household. Her mother was very strict with her especially regarding her personal roamntic relationships with boys. Despite presenting herself as the perfect, sweet, nice, shy, Catholic girl, she was actually very wild and rebellious and would always go against her mothers wishes. Hermione was a good girl with edge but was masking her rebellious side and hiding it behind a pair of nerdy glasses and a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. Both FP and Hermione have struggled financially at some point in their lives–FP has been poor for his entire life as he grew up in poverty on the Southside. As a result of his lack of money, FP has had to make a living buy being a member of the Southside Serpent and conducting petty crime and illegal activity to make money and get by financially. FP did work for Fred Andrew’s construction company Andrews Construction Company, a company which he co-founded with Fred after they graduated high school. But because FP was stealing material from the sites they were working on and getting himself in constant legal battles and trouble, Fred fired FP from his job resulting in him losing and financial stability. After losing his job and any little money he had to support his family, FP spiralled out of control with his drinking and lost his family; On the other hand, Hermione was one of the richest women living in New York City because she is married to a man who is a multi-billionaire. Hermione was a wealthy socialite who lived a life of luxury and prestige because of her wealth. But her husband Hiram was arrested for committing fraud and embezzlement and the FBI froze the Lodge family’s assets and finances. This caused the Lodges to lose some of their wealth as a result. Not only did Hermione lose some of her wealth, but she was forced to move back to her hometown of Riverdale after being blasted by the media and the Lodge family name were tainted and tarnished by the media. After Hiram was incarcerated, Hermione and Veronica left New York City and moved to Riverdale. Hermione wasn’t as wealthy as she was before and she was forced to be a waitress at Pop’s Diner to make an income. Still, despite her immense loss of wealth due to her husband’s arrest, she still had a comfortable amount of money regardless. Both FP and Hermione have the exact same number of letters in all of their birth names including first, middle and last names. FP’s full birth name is Forsythe Pendleton Jones II. His first name Forsythe has 8 letters, his middle name Pendleton has 9 letters, and his surname has 5 letters; Hermione’s full birth name is Hermione Apollonia Gomez. Her first name Hermione has 8 letters, her middle name Apollonia has 9 letters, and her surname by birth Gomez has 5 letters. Both FP and Hermione have worked at Pop’s Diner after going through a significant change in their lives – FP worked at Pop’s Diner as a busboy after he was released from prison; Hermione worked at Pop’s Diner as a waitress after her husband was arrested and sent to jail and lost some of her wealth. Both FP and Hermione have a drinking problem – FP is an on and off the wagon alcoholic. He is constantly seen with tons of beer bottles scattered around his trailer. His severe drinking problem caused a lot of problems in his life such a losing his job and dismantling his family. He is mostly found drinking whenever he is sad, depressed or stressed out; Hermione is seen to be a rather emotional and heavy drinker. She seems to have an addiction to drinking wine. She guzzles wine like it’s pop. Hermione seems to turn to the sauce when she is depressed, angry, stressed or feeling miserable. Since Hermione is stuck in a miserable marriage to Hiram and a marriage that she can’t get out of due to feeling like a prisoner, she turns to alcohol to help cope with her misery just like FP does. Both FP and Hermione are involved in organized crime – FP is a gang member and gang leader who is a member of the criminal biker gang on the Southside called the Southside Serpents. FP was the leader of the Serpents or in other words, the “Serpent King”; Hermione is married to a crime lord/boss Hiram Lodge and she is involved in the American Mob/Mafia. In other words, Hermione is a mobsters wife or a mafia wife. Both FP and Hermione are criminals and have done numerous shady, criminal and illegal things – FP worked for Hiram Lodge to help him continue his shady and criminal business dealings throughout Riverdale while he was serving time in jail. He’s been involved in the cover up of two dead bodies. He was sent to jail for covering up murder. He’s been involved in drug trafficking, petty theft and gang violence. He became a hitman for hire when Hermione hired him to shoot Hiram for her in attempts to kill him meaning that FP committed attempted murder out of anger and revenge for his son Jughead almost dying by Hiram’s hands; Hermione is also a criminal as she’s involved in the mob. She has had documents illegally signed, she worked with FP to help her husband continue his shady business dealings while he was serving time in jail, she manipulated Archie by getting him to show loyalty to a fake FBI agent who really turned out to be one of the Lodges capos, she hired FP to shoot her husband Hiram all so that she could frame FP for the attempted murder, take over his drug empire and make profit from it, she murdered two men in cold blood - Small Fry” who was Papa Poutine’s son and Sheriff Minetta, etc. Both FP and Hermione have had an affair with someone else while still technically married to their spouses–FP had an affair with Alice Cooper and is currently dating her even though he’s still legally married to his estranged wife Gladys; Hermione had an affair with two men: Fred Andrews in season 1 and Sheriff Michael Minetta in season 3. She had an affair with Fred while Hiram was serving time in jail. Both FP and Hermione attracted many people of the opposite sex while they were in high school – FP was a ladies man and a Don Juan/Casanova who flirted with tons of girls, slept with them and then would dump them to move onto the next sexual conquest; Hermione had four different boys who shows some sort of romantic attraction or interest in Hermione: Fred Andrews, FP, Jones, Hiram Lodge and Marty Mantle. Hermione dated Fred in her junior year, rejected FP romantically but remained friends with him, kissed Marty at the Ascension Party and may have had a fling with him and married Hiram. Both FP and Hermione have shot someone – FP shot Hiram after being hired by Hermione to kill him. FP shot Hiram because he wanted to get revenge against him for almost killing his son Jughead; Hermione shot Small Fry, who is Papa Poutine’s son in order to protect herself and Veronica from being hurt by him. Small Fry had broke into the Lodge Apartment to get revenge against Hiram for killing his father. Hermione used a hand gun to gun him down. Hermione shot someone for a second time when she gunned down Sheriff Michael Minetta after feeling he was no longer useful to her nefarious plans. Both FP and Hermione wanted Hiram dead for revenge purposes – FP shot Hiram because he never forgot about Hiram almost having Jughead killed on Riot Night when he hired the Ghoulies to beat him up and nearly kill him; Hermione hired FP to shoot Hiram and kill him because she was enraged about Hiram being responsible for the seizures that happened to the girls in town, especially to her daughter Veronica. In addition, Hermione wanted revenge against Hiram for hiring Tall Boy to take shots at her and Fred during the Mayoral Debate and nearly killing her in the process. Both FP and Hermione became elected officials in Riverdale – Hermione was elected as the Mayor of Riverdale at the end of Season 2, FP was appointed as Sheriff of Riverdale by Hermione in mid-Season 3. Both FP and Hermione have a spouse that is deceiving them about their hidden evil agenda – FP’s wife Gladys comes back to Riverdale to buy Hiram’s drug empire and continue running it illegally but FP believes that Gladys came back to Riverdale for him and Jughead so that they could be a family again; Hermione’s husband Hiram was keeping a lot of his corrupt business ventures, ideas, plans and dealings a secret from Hermione. An example is Hiram keeping the fact that he was continuing ti operate his Fizzle Rocks drug empire with Claudius Blossom behind her back while telling her that he had shut it down. Both FP and Hermione have dark hair and dark eyes. Both FP and Hermione have a ferocious temper when provoked into anger. Both FP and Hermione have threatened or committed physical aggression towards their children: In 2x12, FP manhandled and slammed Jughead against a wall when he got angry at him for breaking Serpent code by cutting off Penny Peabody’s tattoo and causing dissension within the Southside Serpents because of his actions; In 2x01, Hermione threatened to slap Veronica after accusing her and Hiram of trying to shoot Fred and accusing both of them to be murderers. Both FP and Hermione wear glasses from time to time. Both FP and Hermione have a preference for wearing darker shades of clothing.

Gladys and Hermione: Both Gladys and Hermione are evil matriarchs who have hidden schemes and agendas. Both Gladys and Hermione are scheming, conniving and manipulative people. Both Gladys and Hermione are negligent and neglectful mothers to their respective children – Gladys physically abandoned Jughead and left for Toledo, Ohio. She took her daughter and Jughead’s younger sister Jellybean with her, leaving Jughead behind to suffer an alcoholic, abusive deadbeat father in FP; Hermione is emotionally absent with Veronica and only cares about being a loyal puppet and lackey to Hern husband Hiram. Throughout Season’s 1 and 2, she does nothing but carry out his illegal, criminal business dealings at the expense of her safety and the safety of her daughter Veronica. Both Gladys and Hermione are emotionally abusive to Jughead and Veronica. Both have a preference for wearing darker colors – they are both commonly seen wearing black clothing showcasing their shady and morally corrupt personalities. Both have done shady, illegal things behind Jughead and Veronica’s backs (Gladys came back to Riverdale to take over Hiram’s drug empire and she wants to use the money that she makes from the drug empire to have a more lavish lifestyle in Riverdale; Hermione has forged Veronica’s signature, kept Hiram’s criminal activity a secret from her and has secretly engaged in continuing Hiram’s criminal business dealings in Riverdale while he was still in prison. Not to mention that she was involved in the drug empire business with Hiram and didn’t tell her about it). Both have threatened to hit them or slap them for trying to expose them for the shady, illegal things that they were doing (In 2x01, Hermione verbally threatened to slap Veronica if she disobeyed her or Hiram; In a season 2 episode, Gladys physically threatened Jughead by pulling his beanie and his hair and told him that he better not say anything to his father about her running the drug empire or there would be consequences). Both Gladys and Hermione were deceiving their husbands (FP for Gladys, Hiram for Hermione) while doing shady things behind their backs. Both are power hungry, money hungry and want to be in control of everything. Both Gladys and Hermione are involved in the drug empire business. Both Gladys are the wife of someone involved in organized crime; Gladys was married to a gang leader (FP) and Hermione is married to a mob boss (Hiram). Both Gladys and Hermione have manipulated FP and Hiram respectively. Both have dark hair and dark eyes.

Both Jughead & Veronica know about each of their mothers– Gladys for Jughead and Hermione for Veronica–being evil or having a hidden evil agendas: They are both keeping it a secret from each other: In 3x11, Jughead found out that it was Hermione who had Hiram shot and almost had him murdered. After doing some investigating, Jughead found out that Hermione had hired his father FP to shoot Hiram out of revenge. Hermione conducted this plan to get back at Hiram for being the one who was responsible for all of the seizures happening to all the girls in the town and especially to her daughter Veronica. Hermione wanted Hiram to shut down his Fizzle Rocks empire but Hiram lied to Hermione about shutting it down and continued producing his Fizzle Rocks behind her back with Claudius Blossom. Hermione also had Hiram shot because Hiram had hired Tall Boy as the copycat Black Hood to take shots at her and Fred during the Mayoral Debate which nearly killed her.

Both Jughead and Veronica had a change in social and financial status in Season 3: Jughead went from very poor, poverty-stricken and living in a dumpy trailer park in the Southside of Riverdale to living in the Northside and moving into the Cooper house which was underhandedly purchased by Gladys Jones. In addition to that, Jughead’s father had an upgrade in social and financial status as he went from being a poor, destitute gang member scrounging for money to becoming the Sheriff of Riverdale and earning a yearly salary. Veronica, on the other hand, went from being very rich, powerful and living at The Pembroke Apartment to having financial struggles once her father Hiram took away her money, inheritance, credit cards and allowance. Veronica ran away from home to get away from her family issues and was sleeping at Pop’s Diner and at her speakeasy La Bonne Nuit. She was struggling financially to get by which forced her to work as a waitress at her own diner to earn money since she didn’t have her wealth anymore

Both Jughead and Veronica were the ones to run to Betty and Archie when both of their fathers had died: In 3x22, after Penelope had Hal killed right in front of Betty, Jughead and Veronica were the first ones to run to Betty and comfort her; In 4x1, when Archie got the phone call that his father Fred had been killed in a car accident and Archie fell to the ground in shock and disbelief, Jughead and Veronica are seen comforting and holding Archie in the same manner that they did with Betty

Both Jughead and Veronica used the term “Salud” (which means “Cheers” in Spanish/Mexico) before drinking something: Jughead used the word before drinking Freshaid during a G&G quest with Ethel in 3x04; Veronica used the word before drinking a alcoholic jelly shot during the musical in 3x16

Both Jughead and Veronica discover that they have a long lost older sibling that they never knew: In 3x22, Jughead discovers that his older paternal half brother Charles Smith, who is FP Jones son with Alice Cooper, has been alive all this time and is working undercover as an FBI agent to take down the Farm; In season 4, Veronica will discover that she has a long lost older paternal half sister Hermosa Lodge who she never knew about till now because Hiram had kept it a secret.

Both Jughead and Veronica’s older half siblings Charles and Hermosa work in a similar career or job: Jughead’s brother Charles is an FBI agent; Hermosa is a private investigator

Both Jughead and Veronica’s older half siblings have 7 letters in their first names: Jughead’s brother Charles has 7 letters in his first name; Veronica’s sister Hermosa has 7 letters in her first name

Both Jughead and Veronica’s older half siblings have 5 letters in their last names: Jughead’s brother Charles has 5 letters in his last name of Smith; Veronica’s sister Hermosa has 5 letters in her last name of Lodge

Both Jughead and Veronica’s half siblings are part of the LGBTQA+ community: Jughead’s half brother Charles is gay; Veronica’s half sister Hermosa is presumably bisexual.

Both Jughead and Veronica have attended a prestigious elite prep school: Jughead is currently attending Stonewall Prep; Veronica attended the Spence Prep School in New York City

Both Jughead and Veronica’s prep schools start with the letter S: Jughead’s prep school is Stonewall Prep; Veronica’s prep school was Spence Prep School

Both Jughead and Veronica’s grandparent will make an appearance in Season 4: Jughead’s paternal grandfather FP Jones I is coming to Riverdale; Veronica’s paternal grandmother Mrs. “Abuelita” Luna is coming back to Riverdale

Both Jughead and Veronica had visible issues with their fathers during the therapy sessions in 4x08: Jughead had issues with his father and taking his side against his grandfather Forsythe I. Jughead felt as though his grandfather had been wronged because he was the one who came up with the story and the original idea for the now multi-million dollar franchise, the Baxter Brothers. Jughead wanted to track down his grandfather and learn about the truth so that he could seek justice for his seemingly wronged grandfather. But Jughead was oblivious to the fact that his father FP was abused by his grandfather and that he had a horrible childhood growing up due to growing up poor. Jughead has an epiphany and realizes that he should be emphasizing with his father instead of trying to prove that his abusive grandfather who made his father’s life miserable throughout his childhood was some wronged hero who deserves justice for having his work plagiarized. After his therapy session with Mrs. Burble, Jughead decides to make up with his father. Veronica, on the other hand, explained all of the issues she had with father and how he was trying to destroy her life for the past year. Veronica has codependency issues with her father and she was diagnosed as having an Elektra Complex with Hiram. Veronica persists that she hates her father and wants nothing to do with him but the therapist tells her that she keeps going back to him despite all of the horrible things he has done to her and those she cares about. Veronica has a hard time walking away from the toxic and abusive relationship that she has with her father. After her therapy session with Mrs. Burble, Veronica decides to declare war against her father

Both Jughead and Veronica interacted with one of their paternal grandparents in 4x09: Jughead searched down his paternal grandfather Forsythe Pendle Jones I so that he could get some answers regarding what happened to him and the mystery surrounding Stonewall Prep and the Baxter Brothers franchise; Veronica talked to her paternal grandmother “Abuelita” and told him about all of the horrible things her son Hiram was doing. She also wanted to talk about the Lodge Rum family recipe which belongs to the Lodge family and is Abuelita’s rum recipe

Both Jughead and Veronica want to continue their respective family business or legacy in Season 4: Jughead was chosen to be the ghost-writer for the next Baxter Brother’s book; The Baxter Brother’s franchise was originally his grandfather Forsythe Jones I’s story. But a fellow schoolmate of his from Stonewall Prep Francis Dupont had stolen and plagiarized Forsythe’s story; Veronica wants to run a Lodge Rum business using her family’s rum recipe; The Lodge Rum business has been in the Luna/Lodge family for generations and is a big part of their business and the Lodge legacy and empire

Both Jughead and Veronica have made a “Catcher In The Rye” novel reference: Veronica called Jughead Holden Caufield, the protagonist and main character of the book in 1x07; Jughead compared himself to Holden Caufield in 4x08

Both Jughead and Veronica were going to attend Ivy League schools: Jughead was going to attend Yale University, Veronica was going to attend Harvard University

Both Jughead and Veronica ended up not getting to go to the university or college that they wanted to attend: Jughead was going to go to Yale University after being accepted while attending Stonewall Prep but he had his acceptance into Yale taken away and Betty was the one who got into Yale instead of Jughead. Jughead is presumably going to be accepted into the University of Iowa; Veronica was going to go to Harvard University, which was her dream school. She was super excited when the Dean of Harvard called her to tell her that she got into the school. However, she later turned down Harvard once she realized that her father Hiram had a hand in her getting accepted instead of getting in through her own hard work and merit. She opted for other schools to attend and was eventually accepted into Barnard College, which is an extension of Columbia University.

Both Jughead and Veronica are musically inclined in some way: Jughead plays the drums while Veronica is a singer and possibly plays the saxophone.

Both Jughead and Veronica were having family issues in the musical episode 3x16: Jughead was angsting over his mother Gladys wanting to take over the drug trade in Riverdale and using their home (the trailer) as a drug lab to make drugs. Jughead and Betty decide that the only way to stop Gladys from running her drug operation is for him to burn his own home/the trailer which includes all of the drugs in it; Veronica was extremely upset over the fact that she discovered that her parents were separating and getting their marriage annulled. Regardless of her family being unconventional, she always felt that they would stay together and be a family regardless of the problematic aspects of their relationship and family dynamic

Both Jughead and Veronica’s fathers were shot and went to the hospital afterwards: In 4x09, Jughead’s father FP was shot and was seen in the hospital afterwards; In 3x10, Veronica’s father Hiram was shot (revealed to be by FP who was hired by Hermione to do it) and was seen in the ICU in the hospital recovering

Both Jughead and Veronica got into fights with their respective partners (Betty and Archie) in 4x17 at the exact same time: Jughead got into a fight with Betty after Betty discovered that instead of him catching up on his homework so that he could graduate, Jughead was doing investigative work about the mystery that’s currently going in Riverdale; Veronica got into a fight with Archie after Archie told her that he saw Hiram at the gym and that he wasn’t really attending his doctors appointments like he’s supposed to. Veronica felt offended that Archie didn’t drive Hiram to the doctor and get him help when he was clearly struggling with his illness

Both Jughead and Veronica have been cheated on by their respective partners in 4x17: Betty cheated on Jughead with Archie after having a fight with him; Archie cheated on Veronica with Betty after having a fight with her.

Both Jughead and Veronica are completely oblivious or unaware of their significant others (Betty and Archie) cheating on them with each other in 4x17

Both Jughead and Veronica are the ones to come and apologize to their respective partners (Betty and Archie) after getting into fights with them in 4x17: Jughead goes to Betty’s room and apologizes to her for yelling at her and for not doing his homework as Betty wanted. He also gives her an essay about the Salem Witch trials as an apology gift; Veronica goes to Archie’s room and apologizes for blaming Archie and accusing him of not caring about her father and his illness. She gives him a box of cupcakes from Pop’s Diner and tells him that the Variety Show is back on because she is going to host it at La Bonne Nuit.

Both Jughead and Veronica constantly look or glance at their respective partners (Betty and Archie) throughout their Variety Show performance “Midnight Radio”

Both Jughead and Veronica are going to have a parent leaving/departing Riverdale by the end of season 4: Jughead’s father FP is going to leave Riverdale and move out of town (since Skeet Ulrich confirmed that he is leaving the show); Veronica’s mother Hermione is going to leave Riverdale and move out of town (since Marisol Nichols also confirmed that she is leaving the show). It’s uncertain whether or not FP and Hermione will end up leaving the show together through some kind of storyline they are both involved in.

Both Jughead and Veronica live in New York during the time jump.

Both Jughead and Veronica live in the Manhattan borough of New York during the time jump: Jughead lived in Alphabet City while Veronica lied in the Upper East Side

Both Jughead and Veronica have significant others with the same professions in the time jump: Jughead had a girlfriend named Jessica, who is also a writer like him;’ Veronica has a husband named Chad, who also works in Wall Street like her.

Both Jughead and Veronica had significant others who were frustrated with them because they were too focused on their work: Jessica, who was Jughead’s girlfriend, expressed annoyance and frustration over Jughead paying more attention to his writing and his book than he did to her; Veronica’s husband Chad expressed annoyance over Veronica working too much instead of focusing on their marriage and wanting to build a family with him

Both Jughead and Veronica underwent trauma during the time jump: According to RAS, Jughead suffered serious and horrific trauma during the seven year time jump that has yet to be revealed; Veronica suffered serious trauma after a plane accident in Marsha’s Vineyard. Veronica and Chad were almost killed in the accident.

Both Jughead and Veronica are in toxic relationships during the time jump: Jughead is in a presumably toxic and unhealthy relationship with his girlfriend Jessica according to his publicist; Veronica is in a toxic marriage with her husband Chad who is controlling and wants to dominate her life at every opportunity

Both Jughead and Veronica received a phone call from Archie when they were busy working

Both Jughead and Veronica are being followed in some way during the time jump: Jughead is being followed and stalked by debt collectors because Jughead owes money to loan sharks; Veronica finds out she is being followed by her husband in order to keep tabs on her whereabouts

Both Jughead and Veronica were seen drinking alcohol in the first episode of the time jump: Jughead was seen drinking whiskey; Veronica was seen drinking champagne or wine

Both Jughead and Veronica will become teachers at Riverdale High: Jughead is presumably going to be the new English teacher; Veronica is presumably going to be the new Economics teacher

Both Jughead and Veronica followed in the exact same footsteps of their father and mother in the time jump: Like his father FP, Jughead became a broke, struggling alcoholic without a stable job; like her mother Hermione, Veronica compromised her freedom to be married to a rich, controlling, and abusive husband who has a penchant for buying Glamerge Eggs as gifts each year

Both Jughead and Veronica are having some kind of financial trouble in the time jump: Jughead is currently poor, is in debt and owes $10,000 to debt collectors; Veronica’s assets, finances and credit cards are frozen therefore, she basically doesn’t have any money

Both Jughead and Veronica wear glasses and they wear glasses when they are teaching

Both Jughead and Veronica have worked at Pop’s Diner: Veronica worked as a waitress at Pop’s in Season 3; Jughead is working as a waiter at Pop’s in Season 5

Both Jughead and Veronica got a job at Pop’s Diner because they were both having financial problems and needed money: Veronica started working at Pop’s Diner as a waitress in Season 3 after Hiram disinherited her and took away all her money after she betrayed him for her friends; Jughead started working as a waiter in Season 5 because he was having significant financial problems and needed to start paying off his debts

Both Jughead and Veronica have worked at Pop’s Diner with a member of the Tate family: Veronica worked with Pop Tate at Diner’s where Veronica owned the diner and Pop was the manager; Jughead is working with Pop Tate’s granddaughter Tabitha Tate where Pop was the owner but retired and passed the diner down to Tabitha who now owns it and works in it

Both Jughead and Veronica’s older half siblings (Charles for Jughead; Hermosa for Veronica) have killed for their younger half siblings

#jeronica #riverdale #twin flames

68 notes · View notes

enneagramwingmiranda · 4 years

Text

Friends: The actual enneagram types of Rachel, Monica, Ross, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey

The Protagonist Friend: Rachel Green [Type 3]

“You know what I figure, if I can do laundry, there's nothing I can't do.”

Enneagram Wing: 3w4 (Achiever along with an individualist)

"It's like all of my life everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe.' And then today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse, you know? Or, a hat?'"

Core Fear: Of being worthless

Core Desire: To feel valuable

Childhood wound: You must be extraordinary to deserve love.

Rachel’s deepest fear is not reaching her full potential in life and this is the driving force behind all of her actions. The symbolism of her being a runaway bride in the pilot episode demonstrates just that, she doesn’t want to settle or live a mediocre life. In adolescence her need for value and significance is demonstrated in her popularity, being head cheerleader, and holding a legacy of being the mean girl. The mean girl trope in pop culture often shows that the meal girl’s deepest vulnerability is feeling as if she is less than others. Being mean to others is her coping mechanism to continue feeling superior. In adulthood, Rachel leaves behind a life of privilege she finds unsatisfying and chooses the ‘road less traveled’ for individuals of her upbringing in which she must achieve things on her own. We see Rachel start from the bottom and make her way to the top. Her career becomes a big part of her identify in that she even neglects her first true love for it. We see that Rachel’s father instilled this childhood wound of valuing superiority in his mistreatment of the lower class.

The Best Friend: Monica Geller [Type 1]

“And remember, if I’m harsh with you it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.”

Enneagram wing: 1w2 (Reformer along with a helper)

“I've got this controllable need to please people!”

Core Fear: Imbalance

Core Desire: Balance

Childhood wound: You must always be better than you are.

Monica’s defining trait is her need for order in her life and environment. She notices all inconsistencies and errors in not only her home organization but the state of her friends appearances and actions. Her OCD tendencies is a running gag in the series. On the contrary, Monica is very caring and nurturing. She is always there to lend a helping hand and advise her friends. Unlike the rest of her friends, Monica is very aware of where she wants to be and what she wants in life. She feels a sort of instability when her life doesn’t go according to the plan she envisions. She has a hard time adapting to change shown the mourning of Richard and her roommate Rachel. However, she’s not afraid to walk away from things that she knows won’t serve her in the long run even if its hard to do. She cannot relax unless she feels she is living up to the high standards she has set for herself and others. She does not hesitant to let others know where they fall short. Not only does she calls others out but tries to steer them in the direction to what they deserve. We see that Monica’s perfectionistic ways are rooted in her childhood wound from her mom’s constant criticism of her.

The Friend Who Loves Hard: Ross Geller [Type 5]

“You’re means you are. Your means your!”

Enneagram wing: 5w6 (Investigator along with a loyalist)

“You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, you know?”

Core Fear: Incompetence

Core Desire: Proficiency

Childhood wound: You must acquire all the knowledge otherwise you are helpless and incapable.

Ross’s defining trait is his intellect. He often annoys his friends with constant talk of paleontological topics and his need to always be right. Ross not only values education and knowledge but also security. He fears being alone and often takes the leap of faith with romantic partners, however, his trust issues get in the way and result in self sabotage. He exposes his childhood wound in later seasons: his father made him feel incompetent due to his love of dinosaurs and playing with dinosaur toys as a child. Ross also struggles with feeling less of a man and this can be linked to his enjoyment of role playing as a woman as a kid and being ridiculed for it.

The Friend Who Opens Up: Chandler Bing [Type 6]

“Until I was 25, I thought that that the only response to ‘I love you’ was “Oh, crap!’”

Enneagram wing: 6w7 (The loyalist along with an enthusiast)

“I’m full and yet I know if I stop eating this I’ll regret it.”

Core Fear: Isolation

Core Desire: Comfort

Childhood wound: You must succumb to your doubts because the world is not a safe place anyways.

Chandler’s defining trait is his pessimism. He uses sarcasm and humor as a defense mechanism for his deep insecurity and fear. Chandler longs for closeness and security in his relationships but often sabotages any chance at lasting love. He sticks with what is known and comfortable because it’s predictable (he constantly reconnects with Janice despite his dislike of her). He knows he is a lot to handle so he greatly values his friendships because they accept him for who he is and provide him support and validation. It makes sense that he ends up with Monica because their foundation being built on the already existing trust from friendship, thus providing him safety to trust and open up. Despite Chandler’s neurotic tendencies, he is a fun loving person. Joey, being a 7 himself brings this out in him.

The Friend With A Heart of Gold: Joey Tribbiani [Type 7]

“I like it. What’s not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Good.”

Enneagram wing: 7w8

“You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?”

Core Fear: Being unfulfilled

Core Desire: Contempt

Childhood wound: You must sow all your wild oats or you will be eternally unhappy.

Joey’s personality is defined by his enthusiastic yet easygoing nature. Joey’s main concern is to go out and have a good time. He wants to enjoy life however when things don’t go his way he never lets this get him down. He is quite dimwitted but often acts as the wise fool encouraging his friends and sticking up for them whenever needed. He never really commits to anything, bouncing from job to job and woman to woman. He is essentially always looking for the next big thing and he seems to never find it. Joey’s lack of commitment also demonstrates that he doesn’t really desire the security that comes with it. He subconsciously feels as if he is completely self-sufficient (8). His childhood wound is exposed when discussing his family line. He was the only boy out of 7 sisters and felt as if he had to set up and be the protector. We can assume that his parents having so many children to resulted in him lacking the attention and nurturing a child is supposed to have then.

The Intuitive Friend: Phoebe Buffay [Type 8]

“If we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches!”

Enneagram wing: 8w7/8w9 (Balanced: Challenger along with an enthusiast and peacemaker)

“That’s not running, let’s goooo!”

“I have to go before I put your head through a wall.”

Core Fear: Being harmed

Core Desire: Self-protection

Childhood wound: You must be totally independent because relying on others only results in harm.

Phoebe shows many traits of several enneagram types, for instance she shows hints of a 7 and 9 but her assertiveness and independent nature stands out from the rest. Her childhood wounding defines her personality traits, quirks, relationship dynamics, and her lifestyle. From a young age she had to learn how to defend herself and take care of herself due to the abandonment of her caregivers. She is the least connected to her friend group and for a long time lived on her own while the rest of the friends were each others roommates. She refrained from developing any long term relationships and we can first think that it’s because she doesn’t want that. It is later revealed that she never put much thought it which suggests that her independence is engrained into her being. It’s simply all she knew. However, Phoebe’s challenging nature is balanced out by her wings. She can stay positive and be fun loving (7). She develops a alias, Regina Phalange to get in and out of mischief. Her wing 7 is why she identifies with Joey so well. She also can play the role of the mediator to help her friends work out their issues (9). Phoebe also desires to be at peace with all, even her sister Ursula who is totally disinterested and uncaring. She desires world peace and advocates for animal cruelty and vegetarianism. Phoebe is probably the most emotionally healthy character despite having the roughest upbringing.

150 notes · View notes

hereticalheraldry · 5 years

Text

Disney Princesses’ trauma types

IE, definitely the darkest take on Disney I have ever done!

(see this post on trauma types)

Lots of Disney characters have had Adverse Childhood Experiences (death of mothers, to start with!) and exhibit signs of traumatic stress. Below are my guesses as to their chosen coping mechanism.

What 4F trauma type is each Disney character below (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn)

Snow White (dead mother, dead father, abusive and neglectful stepmother, stepmother literally tried to have her killed): It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this, but I’d say it’s Fawn-Flight. She is unerringly sweet. Her immediate reaction when in any form of danger (with a strange man, the huntsman, or the dwarves) is to try to appease, appeal, and make friends. She also has a ton of energy (flight), which she channels into obsessive cleaning, though she doesn’t seem to edge far enough into that to call it OCD. She also literally ran away in a segment that makes obvious how her fear drives her to flight.

Cinderella (dead father, abusive and neglectful stepfamily treats her as a slave): another Fawn-Flight. Unfailingly kind and sweet. So desperate for friends that she befriends the MICE. Also an incredibly hard worker (though tbf, her stepfamily forces that on her). When traumatized by stepsisters yanking to pieces her clothing (both a destruction of her hard work and a physical assault) she literally runs away into the garden to cry. She also runs away from the ball at midnight rather than turning back right there and explaining to the prince that she only got to go to the ball through magic because her family is abusive and probably stole her inheritance. Cinderella gets the wish that many with CPTSD have: that somebody would swoop in and rescue them! She gets rescued twice: by her fairy godmother AND by the prince.

Peter Pan (abandoned in Kensington Gardens and brought up by fairies, who are not the most emotionally stable beings out there): Flight. Classic ADHD: response: runs all over the island fighting, flying, and crowing. (Also literally flies.)

Ariel (dead mother, controlling and abusive father): Freeze-Flight. Instead of trying to please her excessively harsh father, like her hard-working singing sisters, Ariel ditches not only practices but CONCERTS in order to get away from her father and lose herself in her collecting hobby. She has a secret place where she hides in order to fantasize about having a different life in an entirely different place, away from her family. Her friends attempt to persuade her that life on land is impracticable for her. But when her father destroys her hidey-hole, she is retraumatized and resorts to flight to someone she thinks can fix her problems for her by making her human and sending her to the surface: she therefore literally runs away, and tries to get both Ursula and Eric to save her and get her away from her father.

Prince Eric: Surprisingly non-traumatized! I mean, as far as I remember.

Belle: non-traumatized? (at least to start with. I mean, we can always suggest Stockholm Syndrome later...) DOES seem to think she’s entirely different from everyone else around her (a common CPTSD symptom). Maybe traumatized by mother’s death? Bullying from the neighbors? Becoming a parentified child to take care of her absent-minded (though affectionate) father? Unaccustomed poverty? In any case, except for the trauma of her father’s near death and her own imprisonment, she is unusually competent and calm. If she edges toward anything, it’s probably Freeze-Flight: she has a pronounced capacity to become absorbed in fiction and ignore everything around her. When irritated by Gaston’s insulting and bullying proposal, she physically retreats entirely from the village in order to sing about how she wants to leave her poor provincial town for the great wide somewhere. She is fixated on escape, either mentally or physically.

Beast (dead parents, raised by servants who deferred to him rather than parenting him): Fight-Freeze. Hides in his castle; when encounters people is an ASSHOLE. Interestingly, Fight-Freeze types are notoriously hard to treat. Belle might have a future in psychotherapy if she can build better boundaries.

Aladdin (dead parents, has to eat to live, has to steal to eat, ostracized by his community, frequently threatened with death or maiming for theft): feels entirely different from the rest of the world. Flight. frequently in a state of frenetic energy, though a lot of that is because he’s stealing food and escaping the cops. His idea of a great date is to get Jasmine away from the palace: to escape and help her to do the same. intense feelings of shame and inferiority (despite his insistence that there’s so much more to him). He tries to hide from Jasmine the truth of his low-rank identity, though he does eventually recognize the need to tell her the truth.

Jasmine: surprisingly untraumatized (mostly just a healthy assertive), considering what she’s been through (dead mother, parentified child of a nice but absent-minded father who, judging from his looks, is closely related to Maurice; isolated from peers and almost everyone but her pet. I mean, there MUST be servants in the palace, but all you ever see are the guards...) She recognizes when people are treating her unfairly and says so, which makes her unusual among Disney heroes and heroines!

Simba (father died, was told it was his fault, was forced to leave home, almost died in the wilderness, subsequently raised by a couple of irresponsible weirdos): Flight. Literally runs away from his problems instead of facing them. Keeps himself busy with Timon and Pumbaa in order to occupy his mind.

Pocahontas: Non-traumatized! (Dead mother, but strong emotional connection with father and strong emotional support system in her community. Not to mention a maternal figure in the shape of a talking tree in whom she can confide.) DOES feel different from everyone else in her community, though. (Are you sensing a theme?)

John Smith (father died when Smith was 16, he left home, went to sea, served as a mercenary, engaged in piracy, fought the Ottomans): Flight. Constantly on the move: seeing new places, meeting new people, and killing them. Overachiever. Can’t sit still in England. However, he does have some healthy assertive skills and is able to stand up to people in power.

Quasimodo (holy emotional abuse, Batman!): Freeze. Taught that the outside world is cruel and wicked and that he can only be safe inside the cathedral. Daydreams to the point where he almost believes the gargoyles come alive and talk to him. Manages to overcome his Freeze instincts to save Esmerelda.

Esmerelda: Not traumatized, despite apparent lack of living parents and her position as an oppressed social minority. Probably the result of loving parenting while they were alive and strong community support from the rest of the Roma of Paris. Another heroine with healthy assertive traits!

Phoebus: Not apparently currently suffering from traumatic stress (though may have had periods of it in the past: he’s a crusader, after all). Surprisingly well-adjusted.

Hercules (kidnapped at a very young age and taken away from a one life to be placed in another, ENTIRELY different life. Despite strong emotional support from adoptive parents, has been rejected and bullied by his community. Feels he is entirely different from everybody else [I mean, he kind of is]): Flight. Yes, that’s right, flight, not fight. Hercules may be a “fighter” but he is a SUPER non-aggressive guy. Gentleness embodied. Feels he has to achieve something huge in order to be worthy of love and affection from the world (and especially from his divine father, who has literally told him that he has to earn his way back to Olypus by becoming a True Hero). Tendency toward despair when the people whose love and affection he thought he had (Phil and Megara) abandon and betray him. Eventually earns everybody’s love and affection--which is not the greatest lesson ever. Shouldn’t Disney be teaching us that we deserve love even if we never become heroes?

Megara (super traumatic history): Fawn-Fight. Puts the good of the people she loves WAY before her own, to an unhealthy level (sacrifices her own soul in order to save a man, who then abandons her). Seems sarcastic and rough, but heart of gold underneath. Acts like she’s superior, but actually feels enormous guilt and shame, with low self-esteem. Won’t say she’s in love.

Mulan (inconsistent expectations from her family and community. Sometimes her family supports who she is, defends her, and puts up with her unusual behavior; at other times they join with her community in criticizing her [lightly if frequently]. They apparently did not teach her society’s gender roles but then expects her to abide by them in public): she feels entirely different from everybody else and that she has to prove herself. Doesn’t know who she is inside. CANNOT behave the way she has been taught she should; is clearly triggered by a criticism from her father. Flight. Seems almost hyperactive, can’t keep silent when her society tells her she should. Driven to act and to succeed in order to prove her worth and bring honor to her family. Again, EARNS everybody’s love and respect in the end.

Shang: Possible inferiority issues from his relationship with her father. Not enough data.

Mushu (constant criticism; scapegoated by the ancestors): Flight. Has channeled this coping mechanism into ADHD (and humor). Feels the need to prove he is worthy of his spot (I mean, the ancestors TOLD him he did...)

Tarzan (storm and fire killed everyone around him in his infancy; parents had to resettle entirely alone in an alien land; parents were brutally killed right in front of him; he was nearly killed and eaten twice by a leopard; adopted by nonhuman animals; rejected by father figure and much of his nonhuman community): Realistically, I WOULD say that Tarzan should not be able to learn to SPEAK, since he doesn’t appear to have acquired language until his mid to late twenties. However, the film makes clear that the gorillas have a complex spoken language that can convey complicated thoughts like, “Jane will stay with Tarzan”. Feels entirely different from the rest of his community (he is). Scapegoated and constantly criticized for being different. I genuinely don’t know what his style is. lol

The elephant in tarzan: It’s been too long since I’ve seen this film, somebody do this one lol

Cuzco (dead parents, running an empire in his early twenties, nobody has apparently ever taught him limits, appears to have a very emotionally isolated life): Fawn-Fight. Extremely narcissistic, though his character development reveals that he does have a conscience underneath there somewhere. Charming but highly self-centered. Good with words and fast-talking, so may be Flight or gifted. Behavior improves quickly and immensely when provided with the emotional support (and healthy boundaries) of an ersatz family.

Lilo (loss of both parents; being parented by a highly stressed and very young adult who is struggling with poverty and her own trauma): Flight. Gifted, imaginative, ADHD, constantly into everything, constantly in trouble. Sometimes slides into Fight with defiant behavior.

Nani (loss of parents, pressure of having to parent her little sister and provide income for both of them at a very young age): Fight. Her temper gets the better of her when she’s upset, but she’s really trying.

Marlin (loss of his wife and all his children but one): Freeze. Constantly hiding from the perceived dangers of the world and trying to teach his son to do the same. Very nurturing of his child, despite his difficulty overcoming his own trauma. Considering he is a Freeze type, going on a big journey to save his son demonstrates ENORMOUS bravery.

Dori (???): Flight-Freeze. ADHD, constantly on the move, can’t sit still, just keeps swimming, just keeps swimming, swimming, swimming. I include Freeze because her difficulties with her memories may be a dissociative effect of trauma, and dissociation falls under Freeze.

Tiana (loss of beloved father, poverty, traumatizing lifelong experience of systemic racism, somewhat ameliorated by loving and supportive mother): Flight. The classic driven, achievement-obsessed workaholic. Always seems to only be halfway there. Fate helps her overcome these tendencies by forcing her to fail in her quest to become human again (and therefore to open her restaurant), though she actually does succeed soon after anyway. Actually, DID she overcome these tendencies? Like, she toned it down enough to maintain an apparently lasting romantic relationship, but she might still be a workaholic...

Naveen (highly critical parents): Flight. Constantly traveling care-for-nothing that can’t seem to stick to anything. Deep down has low self-esteem about his lack of achievement and how he can’t seem to please his parents. Demonstrates some symptoms of ADD or ADHD. Tiana and Naveen demonstrate how “Flight” behaviors can results in two very different character types!

Rapunzel (holy shit: kidnapped in infancy and raised by a woman who is demonstrably emotionally abusive and negligent and literally is only keeping her alive for her hair. Imprisoned in a tower almost entirely without company her ENTIRE LIFE. Demonstrates painful mood swings between delight and horrific guilt when she finally escapes for the first time. I seriously wonder how long her mental recovery took after Mother Gothel’s death...): Flight-Fawn. Overachiever, constantly doing EVERYTHING, EXTREMELY QUICKLY (cleans the entire place top-to-bottom between 7:00 and 7:15 AM). Literally runs away. Makes friends immediately with almost everybody she meets, including a gang of hardened, violent criminals. Wants desperately to be loved, but believes very quickly that Eugene doesn’t like her after all and has abandoned her. Note that it is not Rapunzel that kills Mother Gothel but Pascal. Rapunzel is so emotionally traumatized that she probably could never bring herself to “betray” Gothel in any real way.

Eugene Fitzherbert (orphaned; raised in an institutional setting, which is notoriously traumatizing. Poverty, social rejection): Flight. Channels his immense energy into complicated and daring heists. Adrenaline junkie. He thinks he wants to rest on a deserted island with an enormous pile of money, but I can guarantee that he would get antsy after a week (at most) and go back to his life of crime in order to distract himself from his pain.

Merida (was in a life-endangering encounter with a bear as a young child; her father was maimed. Has emotional support from her father, but her mother--primary caregiver, especially of a daughter--is highly critical): Flight. Tons of energy, adrenaline junkie, climbs a frickin WATERFALL, overachiever in her chosen hobbies. Greatly dislikes quiet pursuits like embroidery, possibly because they leave too much time for contemplation, and she needs more distraction.

Elsa (almost killed her beloved younger sister by accident, treated by her parents as dangerous and frightening, almost entirely isolated for most of her life): Freeze (HAHA) and Flight. Has been taught to retreat alone from a world that will reject her. Experiences enormous shame and guilt for herself, her gifts, and how dangerous she can be. Classic perfectionist. Attempts to protect herself and others by shutting down all emotions. When she fails, she literally runs away to live entirely alone forever to escape the storm of the rest of the world, because the cold of isolation “never bothered her anyway” (an obvious lie she has taught herself). “Let It Go” sounds like an anthem of freedom, but Elsa is actually literally running from her problems and from any human connection.

Anna (almost died as a small child, which she doesn’t directly remember, but may still cause her traumatic reactions. her beloved older sister SUDDENLY refused even to SEE her, and her parents wouldn’t talk about it, so she probably felt in some obscure way that there was something wrong with HER, that it was all her fault. Then isolated almost entirely in the palace, and certainly isolated from other children, followed by the death of her parents and the CONTINUED isolation from her sister and anybody other than servants): flight-fawn. she seems possibly a little ADD, a little hyperactive (rides her bike around the halls), impulsive. VERY friendly and sweet to almost everybody she meets, desperate to make friends. Dreams of being rescued through marriage to a prince that she loves at first sight. Desperate to be loved.

Moana: probably NOT traumatized, for the most part. She DOES feel entirely different from everybody else (”what is wrong with me?”) because her instinctive love of the ocean has been criticized and squelched by her father and her society. However, despite her father’s clear struggle with his own trauma from the survivor’s guilt of his best friend’s drowning, this is one of the healthier families/societies we see in Disney! The silence around the death of Chief Tui’s best friend is meant to be kind, but I think Tui probably needs to talk it out more, and while I understand why they didn’t tell Moana about it as a young child, I feel like she SHOULD have been told before her father’s reactions to her hurt her own self-image: he’s actually just projecting his own guilt onto the daughter who is so much like him. She is less traumatized than she might otherwise be because she has both her mother, and especially her grandmother, to confide in. If Moana has a trauma style, I would say it’s Flight: she’s an overachiever who is constantly rushing from one task, one way to help, to another. In a deleted song, she also talks about walking around the island so much that she knows exactly how many steps it is to the ocean. She always wants to get away. All of this is classic Flight. Chief Tui is Fight. he’s not aggressive, but he IS controlling.

Maui (Most of the trauma in this film comes from Maui. he was abandoned as a baby, and probably almost died. grew up with the knowledge that he was not wanted by his parents. grew up away from human society): Flight-Fawn. Has spent the rest of his life trying to earn acceptance, love, and gratitude from humans. Constantly does crazy and death-defying tasks to try to win them over., but It never brings him true fulfillment. He clearly DESPERATELY wants to be recognized, celebrated, and loved for his achievements and his gifts, which makes him into a brash show-off.

#disney #long post is long #disney princesses

24 notes · View notes

sharingshane-blog · 5 years

Text

BPD in Doctor Who

Trigger Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Suicide, Abuse, Self-Harm, Mentions of Physical Assault and Rape

When I was 17, almost a senior in high school, I watched my first episode of Doctor Who. I started with Christopher Eccleston and worked my way through. It took me only a couple of episodes before I was hooked. I became obsessed with the series, and many of the characters, particularly the ones from the Russel T. Davies era, because I felt like I could emotionally connect with them. I understood them. Rose Tyler really grew on me. She was supposed to be around my age at the time, and we both lived at our parents’ home feeling overall empty and worthless.

At that age, my anxiety and depression were particularly bad. Someone who was mentor and major influence in my life had committed suicide. Not long after, my grandfather whom I would see all the time passed away. I was already wallowing in major levels of grief and loss. I had also just gotten permission to skip eleventh grade and graduate a year early from high school. With that, I had to work last minute to get myself together, so I could apply to colleges and universities. My parents had a history of neglecting my needs frequently and one of the ways they did was helping me prepare for college. They refused to help me research or check out schools. They would not take me on visits because it was too much of a “financial burden” on them. They also refused to teach me how to drive or help me much at all for the next step ahead. I felt extremely lonely and I felt very abandoned. My parents have a history of physical and emotional abuse towards me, but I did not come to terms with that until I was in college, eventually developing PTSD.

Feelings of abandonment and isolation became chronic and debilitating for me. There were many emotions I would bottle up until I could not take it anymore. I felt like a geyser. As the emotions bubbled and heated more, the pressure in the chamber underground increased until there was a burst of boiling hot water—a crisis or outburst of anger. I had trouble maintaining consistent relationships with people which only added to the loneliness. People came and went, and I never expected them to stay. I felt too worthless to think they would care about me. I had recurrent suicidal ideation. For a long time, the way I would keep myself alive would to just tell myself every night that I will just kill myself the next day. I refused to go to therapy until well into college. This had to do in part that I did not know how to express my emotions, and it also had to do in pat because of trauma. My mom forced me against my will (on my 16th birthday) to see her therapist and basically admit how horrible of a child I have been. After my grandfather’s death, I did attempt to see a counselor, but it was a religious counselor who told me that I did not need counseling and that I just needed to focus on my faith in God. It was not until I was 19, well after beginning college, where I decided to actually pursue therapy. I had many unstable friendships at college. I was with my abusive ex-boyfriend. My already unhealthy relationship with my parents became worse. The tipping point was when I was in the car with my dad one day, and he tried to hit me. I jumped out of the car before he could do anything to me. He drove off leaving me on the side of the rode in tears. It was not long after that experience that I filled out the paperwork to start counseling. I eventually got a therapist outside of the college campus. After almost attempting suicide, I was hospitalized for a week at a psychiatric facility. It was there where the psychiatrist inquired me about a condition called borderline personality disorder.

Here are the symptoms or signs of the disorder:

-Efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, such as rapidly initiating intimate (physical or emotional) relationships or cutting off communication with someone in anticipation of being abandoned

-A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)

-Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self

-Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating

-Self-harming behavior, such as cutting or burning

-Recurring thoughts of suicidal behaviors or threats

-Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days

-Chronic feelings of emptiness

-Intense anger or problems controlling anger

-Difficulty trusting and possessing a fear of other people’s intentions

-Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself or seeing oneself from outside one’s body

Not everyone with the disorder experiences all these symptoms. The symptoms also come in varying degrees. No two people with the disorder is completely alike, although they tend to understand each other. After I received the diagnosis, I felt that my life made a little more sense. I began to understand myself better. I have been in treatment for a long time and have made many improvements. During this whole journey though, I learned something else, one of the reasons why I became so obsessed with Doctor Who. I mean who doesn’t want to fly away from their boring lives to explore all throughout time and space with a mad man (or woman) with a box? I have not seen the episodes with Jodie Whittaker so no spoilers! You may cause a paradox and destroy all of reality if you tell me anything. It’s my future. It was more than a form of escapism or a way of leaving my miserable life. I realized that the Doctor’s character really resonates with me on a more personal level. Now I am specifically referring to the New Who episodes. I haven’t watched enough of Old Who to make adequate judgments of the character during those episodes. The Doctor in New Who exemplifies many of the characteristics associated with borderline personality disorder. I am no psychologist or psychiatrist, but for me, I feel like that this was one of the main reasons I fell in love with the Doctor. He (or she) is the star of the show, the hero, the person everyone loves aside from say the Daleks, the Cybermen, the Slitheen, the Weeping Angels, the Zygons, the Silurians, and well, okay not everyone. But in other shows, people with the disorder or exhibits multiple aspects of the disorder are usually portrayed as antagonists and creeps.

The Doctor continuously goes out of his (or her) way to try and avoid losing people. It causes him a lot of pain when he loses his closest friends. Sometimes he will push his closest friends away, even for years at a time, because he’s afraid he’d never see them again. Sometimes he’d isolate himself from making new friends for fear of them falling apart. We see this with the tenth Doctor at the end of his tenure. He refused to take on new companions. He was also reluctant to take on Martha as an official companion after losing Rose. But as you know, things did get “escalated.” The eleventh Doctor set up Amy and Rory with a house on earth so he could come back to them whenever for hundreds of years because he knew that humans could not live near as long as him and he couldn’t bear to see his closest friends die. He uploaded River Song as a computer program in the biggest library in the universe so he could always come back to her. After losing Amy and Rory, he isolated himself from most of others except from a select few refusing to make other friends for fear of the inevitable loss. Like Martha, he was reluctant at first to take on Clara as a companion. On the whole though, the Doctor is fairly quick in choosing is companions, almost like Jesus choosing his disciples. The Doctor becomes close pretty quickly and has people by his side while traveling in the TARDIS (time and relative dimension in space). However, he is also quick to cut communication in order to “save” his friends or most often himself from impending grief. He tricked Rose and Clara to have the TARDIS take them home while he faced a life or death scenario. When Clara came back to the Doctor 300 years later in his future, he admitted that the reason he sent her away was because he would have buried her a long time ago. It seemed to be more for his sake than hers. She didn’t want to be sent home, and she was willing to face every danger he faced. For those who struggle with BPD, the fear of loss and abandonment is quite prominent. Similarly, to the Doctor, I would frequently be quick to make very close friends. I often idealized them and think they are basically perfect. “And she is perfect,” the Doctor says about Clara Oswald. “You are the most important woman in the whole universe,” he says to Donna. At the same time, I was also just as quick to push people away. I’ve sometimes seemed to ghost people, hide things from them, push them away from my problems, refuse help when I desperately needed it. I was too afraid I’d hurt them or overwhelm them to the point that I’d lose them. I become a roller coaster ride to be friends with. I constantly felt the need to protect people from myself and try to save myself from impending grief which hurts so bad that it makes me sick.

Like the Doctor, I also felt persistent emptiness and loneliness. I felt like no one really understood me. Even though I usually had close friends nearby, they also seemed temporary. Give another year and it will be a whole new group of friends. I am very blessed that I’ve been able to maintain a strong relationship with my best friend for almost five years. I’ve not had a romantic relationship last even a year. Alongside the loneliness came emptiness. For the most part, I felt like my life was pretty meaningless and boring. I felt like I constantly had to be doing something in order to fill the gap. The Doctor gets like this too. When he stuck around in Amy and Rory’s home for a couple of days, he got anxious. He rarely sticks around for tea after saving the day. He has to constantly be doing something, or he just feels bored or pointless. This causes anxiety or depression. The tenth doctor, after trapping himself in the 18th century with Madame de Pompedour to save her from impending doom, looked sorrowfully into the night sky because of losing access to his TARDIS. Like him, I usually can’t handle monotony. I get anxiety and depression really fast.

Impulsivity is another common trait between me and the Doctor. This can look different for each person who struggles with BPD. Many do struggle with alcohol or drug addictions but not all. I do not, but my impulsivity comes out in other ways. It actually is similar to how the doctor is impulsive. I am very quick to putting myself in compromising or dangerous situations. Personally, I cannot actually go into much detail on this issue for my safety and the safety of others around me. As a result of impulsive decisions I’ve made, I have gotten assaulted or raped. Now these crimes are ultimately not my fault, and do not advocate victim blaming. People should just have the common decency to know that those things are wrong. Unfortunately, that’s not the world we live in. I was almost physically assaulted after outing myself as transgender. I learned quickly the dangers of being trans in society. I’ve stretched myself thin for the sake of others without taking the time to analyze how much I can handle. The Doctor is very similar in this regard. Over and over, he’ll walk passed “keep out” signs. For him, they are like “dry clean only.” He’s one of those people who usually takes action before thinking. Although sometimes we find out that he has actually put more thought into something than we, the audience, assumed he had. Still, a lot of times the plan is to run towards the danger, see what happens, then come up with another plan. When he hears a scream, he runs towards it. When a sketchy guy is offering jobs at Hooverville in 1930, he was the first to volunteer. Despite his intelligence and cleverness to get out of dangerous situations, he usually just as quick into them. The results have even blown up the entire universe.

Both the Doctor and I also seem to have struggled with a personal sense of identity. This also can result in intense mood swings. Sometimes I have feelings of euphoria, a heightened feeling of myself. I can be the life of the party or on top of the world. I can become hypomanic (BPD and bipolar disorder often mimic each other). Other times I am the complete opposite. I think I’m the most awful, pitiful thing that creation gave birth to. I will self-harm or have suicide ideations. I’m afraid that I am an abuser just like my parents, that I just hurt people, or that I constantly let other people down. This sometimes spawns feelings of isolation. Sometimes my emotions swing between extremes within a day. The Doctor seems similarly to reflect these traits. For most of New Who, he is haunted about destroying Gallifrey in order to end the Time War. Was he a genocidal maniac or a hero who ended a war that would have destroyed all of reality? Is he any better than a Dalek who belongs to a race of ethnic cleansers. Even after the 50th anniversary episode, the twelfth Doctor feels the need to ask Clara whether he is a good man. People with BPD tend to have a difficult time knowing themselves outside of how others perceive them. They constantly rely on others to tell them how they are more than trying to take the time to analyze personal actions and intentions. We usually think our intentions are just excuses for the horrible things we’ve done. The Doctor kept telling himself that he was trying to end the most deadly war in all of history when making the decision to eradicate his own species, but he wondered afterwards whether it was just an excuse to be the monster he truly was. It wasn’t like he had a super friendly relationship with the Time Lords (although he was also half human first suggested in the 1996 movie and confirmed with the twelfth Doctor). He constantly wrestled with the prospect that maybe he took on companions in order to use them rather than actually befriend them. Davros visibly gets under the Doctor’s skin when he suggests that the Doctor takes “ordinary people and fashions them into weapons.” We have the episode with the Dream Lord, a suggested personification of the negative aspects of his character. There is a very dark portion of the Doctor which makes him such a complex character to fully understand. Still, generally, we most often see him as a hero. We are more gracious towards his decision to destroy Gallifrey to end the Time War than he is to himself. I struggle to understand myself. I generally have persistent feelings of shame that if the dark side of me comes out, then people will leave me. It’s something I try to control.

Building off the last point, the Doctor is prone to anger quickly coming to that emotion. “The fury of the Time Lord” is explored throughout the series. It’s related to the question as to whether he is a good person or not. This is one area I have seen significant improvements in. It is okay to angry, but sometimes my anger was ineffective in achieving my goals. I am not as quick to anger as I used to be. I think a part of it is that I don’t live with my parents anymore. I still have much room for improvements.

The Doctor’s fears of abandonment and loneliness has given away to trust issues. Too many people have betrayed him. We never learn his actual name throughout the series. He doesn’t trust anyone with it. He keeps a lot of himself a secret. He will refrain from being vulnerable around others including his companions. He’ll always say that he’s fine, that he is always fine. This is the classic thing that someone battling mental illness says to cover up their emotions from others. It is something that I have said in times of distress many times because I am afraid that people will judge me or betray me or leave me. River Song tells him to trust her. She whispers his real name in his ear to prove to him that she is worthy of trust. Even then, he has his reservations. When learning River was a prisoner for killing man and she doesn’t reveal who, he questions her and why future self would trust her. There is always constant questioning of other people’s motives and intentions. When Rose saves her dad’s life altering a fixed point in time, the Doctor is quick to accuse her of selfishness, that she only wanted onto the TARDIS to save her dad, that she was only using the Doctor. Though Rose’s decision was impulsive and unwise to say the least, the audience isn’t as quick to accuse her of that. We get the sense that she had a genuine care for the Doctor and actually wanted to travel in the TARDIS for the purpose of exploration. As we millennials like to say, I feels.

Thoughts of suicide and self-harm or disassociation are not attributes that we can necessarily observe or be able to observe in the Doctor. We do know that he does tend to view his life as less important as others. He’s hinted that death may be a gift for someone who lives so long. He is quick to sacrifice himself. He gets angry at River when she tries to save him and tell him that the universe doesn’t want him to die. He’s willing to neglect his life for the sake of others. When he tried to destroy Gallifrey, he didn’t expect or want to live. The ninth Doctor explained it wasn’t his choice. The Doctor seems to be depressed that he didn’t die after ending the Time War, that his guilt is unbearable at times. I don’t think I can delve much further on this particular aspect of his character to be honest.

I have thought about this for a long time as you probably can tell. I am still in love with the Doctor and it is one the view shows that I garner pleasure from when I am severely depressed. It can distract me from my sometimes very intense and unbearable emotions. I believe this in large part due to how much I relate to the Doctor, that maybe I may not be an absolute monster. Maybe, I’m not that bad of a person. Maybe I’m someone that can be loved just like the Doctor. Maybe I am just as interesting and unique. Maybe at times I can be the hero and not the villain that I always view myself to be. I continue to love the series and I can not wait to see Jodie Whittaker’s depiction of the character when I am able to get access to the episodes. I am sad to say goodbye to Capaldi, but the story always continues.

#bpd #doctor who #mental health #depression #anxiety #abandonment #love #tardis

3 notes · View notes

hellishdrcams · 5 years

Text

Min Jisung

[ jung jaehyun , 17, male, he/him ] - hey i just saw [ min jisung ] and you can catch them working as a [ trainee ], and they’re known to be [ creative & cunning ] and [ self destructive & sarcastic ]. if asked they would say their aesthetic would be [ space & the galaxy, clubs ].

triggers: neglect, abuse, cheating, depression, borderline personality disorder, self harm, suicidal ideation

jisung was born in seoul, south korea.

he was named lee yejun but he changed his name legally to min jisung when he turned sixteen because he wanted to give a fuck you to his parents.

growing up was anything but easy, jisung’s parents were only interested in him when he reached an age where he could properly function without them. not that they were ever there for him in the first place. he had a nanny who did most of the work but even then she wasn’t very keen on him either.

his uncle would step in every now and then but jisung didn’t like him, he was far too arrogant and ignorant and even though he was young he fully understood just how much of an asshole his uncle was.

his parents had him learning around four to five different languages growing up, english, cantonese and japanese being the main three.

when he was twelve he found out that his father was having an affair, he’d always believed despite not loving him, his parents at least loved each other, but when he seen that his mother in fact was involved with another man and didn’t care about his father’s habits he wasn’t sure what to believe.

he was made well aware that his parents in fact did not love each other and never had, that it had all been through their parents arrangement that they would be together and be married and have children. though jisung was the only child born.

jisung decided then that love wasn’t real, it never was and it never would be. and he promised himself that he would never get involved with anyone like that ever no matter what, sex was fine, but relationships and everything that came with it was off limits.

jisung can’t stomach much food because there were days where he didn’t get to eat simply because he was locked in his room.

he has a bad habit of making himself look stupid when in fact he’s actually quite intelligent, he always did well in school but refuses to show people that and refuses point blank to show people his emotions because it makes him think that he’s vulnerable which he refuses to deal with.

another bad habit of making people think he’s an asshole when deep down he’s not because he’d do anything for anybody he cares about without question. he just doesn’t know how to act around people, and he struggles with any kind of emotion.

at the age of thirteen he was taken to ginseng and placed as a trainee, even though that wasn’t what he wanted to do. sure he didn’t mind singing, and he nact for it but he wanted to involve himself in science and astrology because it was something he was always interested in .

after being at ginseng for six months, his uncle took him to ge tested for various things, just to make sure he was healthy but he ended up being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. which of course, his parents and his uncle didn’t take too seriously but put him into therapy.

he started self harming not long after he got there, finding it as his only way of coping with his problems, and small cuts turned into larger and eventually they moved from his wrists up his arms and over his chest and torso.

so his arms and torso are littered with self harm scars, so he won’t wear short sleeves or have his shirt off in front of people.

he stopped going to therapy when he turned fifteen.

he can’t deal with intense emotions, because he’s never had too he will physically, emotionally and mentally shut down and lock himself away from other people, he won’t sleep, he won’t eat and he won’t do anything, he will be laying curled in a ball and refusing to move until he’s ready.

when he’s having episodes he acts impulsively through his the emotions he can’t get out, mostly panic and terror because he doesn’t know how else to deal with them.

although when he’s looking after himself properly he’s a bit more easy to deal with.

he never found it easy making friends so the fact that he has someone like taeil in his life makes him feel grateful because he’s never had that before and he would do absolutely anything for him.

he doesn’t let people help him, with the exception of taeil and even that’s hard for him, any advice he’s giving he’ll usually depending on what it’s for, does the complete opposite. he’ll also sabotage himself at any given opportunity if anything good is happening to him, he’ll make sure it goes away because he knows eventually it will anyway.

has severe abandonment issues, and is afraid that the people he does actually care about will leave him so he tries not to get close to people, and if he does get too close he’ll take a step back from them not because he doesn’t care just because he’s scared they’re going to drop and leave him, so he tries to do it first

constantly thinks he’s a terrible person, so instead of trying to prove people wrong he acts like he is because it’s the only way to protect himself.

he’s never been a good sleeper, but since getting just that bit older he usually gets two to three hours a night, and he sometimes power naps during the day.

he can’t focus and deal with his own psychological issues, he’s not actively suicidal but he’s he’s got passive thoughts about it, wishing that he could and or did have the guts to do it.

he really likes giving the three people in his life, who made him miserable, serious trouble whenever he can and will continue to do so for the rest of life because of how much he actually hates them. putting himself in danger just to see how they react.

his parents refuse to talk to him until he “grows up” because of the sexual relationships with men that he’s had but he maintains that it’s who he is and they can fuck off because he doesn’t want or need their approval for anything he does anymore.

#past #jisung #bio

1 note · View note

yesazea · 4 years

Text

What’s the Best Codependency Treatment?

Codependency is usually mentioned as “relationship addiction.” It’s an emotional and behavioral condition that interferes with an individual’s ability to develop a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship.

The term codependency was first wont to describe the partner of somebody with an addiction—whose unhealthy choices enable or encourage the addiction to continue. But over the years it’s been expanded to incorporate individuals who maintain one-sided, emotionally destructive or abusive relationships and people relationships don’t necessarily need to be romantic.

Examples of Codependency

Codependent individuals have good intentions. they need to worry for a loved one who is struggling. But their efforts become compulsive and unhealthy.

Their attempts to rescue, save, and support their beloved allows the opposite individual to become even more hooked into them. The act of giving often gives a codependent individual a way of satisfaction as long as they gain recognition. They wish to “be needed.”

Their choices often backfire, however. they could feel trapped and grow resentful. they'll feel helpless yet unable to interrupt faraway from the connection or change their interactions.

The relationship tends to deteriorate over time. It's often riddled with anxiety, frustration, and pity, instead of love and luxury.

For some individuals, codependent relationships become commonplace. They hunt down friendships or romantic relationships where they're encouraged to act like martyrs.

Consequently, they devote all their time to caring for others and completely lose sight of what is important to them.

Codependency can are available in many forms. But at the basis of a codependent relationship is that the codependent individual loses sight of their own needs and needs to the detriment of themselves and therefore the other individual.

Here are some samples of what a codependent relationship might look like:

Codependency in Parent-Child Relationships

Example 1:

A parent constantly cleans up after an adult child who has moved back to the house. The parent gives the kid money and manages the child’s day-to-day affairs. They never mention why the adult child doesn’t have employment or how the cash is being spent because the parent doesn’t want to offend the kid. Giving them money and caring for them gives the parent a way of meaning and purpose.

Example 2: A parent is raising a toddler who is visually impaired. The parent insists on doing everything for the kid, albeit there are things the kid could learn to try to for themselves. the kid stays almost completely hooked into the parent for everything. The parent refuses any extra support services because they’re convinced they’re the sole one who can really assist their child.

Example 3: An adult child always drops everything the instant her mother calls to mention she’s having a nasty day. She considers it her job to require care of her mother as she knows her mother features a history of depression. She feels as if she’s the sole one who knows the way to help her mother feel better. She rarely leaves town because she never knows when her mother might need her. Her insistence that she has got to help her mother features a negative impact on her marriage.

Codependency in Romantic Relationships

Example 1:

a lady invests tons of energy into caring for her partner with a drinking problem. When he’s too hungover to travel to figure, she calls in sick for him. She then often calls in sick for herself so she will stay home and look out for him. She rarely engages in any social activities because she’s never sure when he could be drinking. And she’s afraid that if she’s not there, he might prefer to drive to the shop to shop for more alcohol. She makes excuses to friends and family about his behavior and never confronts him about his drinking for fear he’ll get angry and defensive. She schedules her life around him.

Example 2: A man’s partner features a chronic illness. She has mobility impairments and her physician has advised her to follow a particular diet. the person feels pitying her because she says she doesn’t enjoy the food on the diet plan. So he delivers her food that doctors say isn’t good for her and discourages her from doing any activity because she says traveling hurts. He makes it his life’s mission to worry about her needs.

Why It Happens

Codependency is learned by watching and imitating other relations who display this sort of behavior. It’s often passed down from one generation to subsequent. So a toddler who grew up watching a parent during a codependent relationship may repeat the pattern.

Codependency occurs in dysfunctional families where members often experience anger, pain, fear, or shame that's denied or ignored. Underlying issues that contribute to the dysfunction may involve:

- Addiction to drugs, alcohol, work, food, sex, gambling, relationships - Abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual) - Chronic physical illness or mental disease

Problems within the family are never confronted. Codependent individuals don’t mention the very fact that issues exist. relations repress their emotions and disrespect their own needs in an attempt to worry for the individual who is struggling.

All of the eye and energy goes toward the individual who is abusive, ill, or addicted. The codependent individual who usually sacrifices all of their own must look after the loved one who is struggling. they typically experience social, emotional, and physical consequences as they disregard their own health, welfare, and safety.

Risk Factors and Characteristics

While anyone might find themselves during a codependent relationship, certain factors increase the danger.

Studies show codependency is common in adults who were raised by parents with drug abuse problems, who sleep in chronic stressful family environments, who have children with behavior problems, and who look after the chronically ill. Women are more likely to be codependent than men.1

Individuals within the helping professions also are more likely to be in codependent relationships. It’s estimated that one-third of nurses have moderate to severe levels of codependency. Nurses got to be sensitive to the requirements of others and sometimes got to put aside their own feelings for the great of their patients.2 they'll also find validation in their ability to worry for others which need may spill over into their personal lives.

Researchers have identified several other factors that are often linked with codependency:1

- Lack of trust in self or others - Fear of being alone or abandoned - A need to regulate people - Chronic anger - Frequent lying - Poor communication skills - Trouble making decisions - Problems with intimacy - Difficulty establishing boundaries - Trouble adjusting to vary - An extreme need for approval and recognition - A tendency to become hurt when others don’t recognize their efforts - An inclination to try to quite their share all the time - A tendency to confuse love and pity - An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others

Assessment

While codependency isn’t something that shows up during a lab test or a brain scan, there's an assessment tool that some psychological state professionals use to work out if there’s an opportunity someone could be codependent.

It requires a private to answer questions in five basic domains: other focus/self-neglect, low self-esteem, hiding self, medical problems, and family of origin issues.

Individuals who are being assessed for codependency determine how true these statements are about them:

1. I feel compelled to assist people.

2. I attempt to control events and the way people should behave.

3. I become afraid to let people be who they're and permit events to happen naturally.

4. I feel ashamed of who I'm.

5. I attempt to control events and other people through helplessness, guilt, coercion, threats, advice-giving, manipulation, or domination.

6. I worry about having liver, bowel, or bladder problems.

7. I'm preoccupied with the thought that my body is failing me.

8. I feel compelled or forced to assist people to solve their problems (i.e., offering advice).

9. I feel that my general health as compared to my family and friends.

10. I placed on a cheerful face once I am really sad or angry.

11. I keep my feelings to myself and put up an honest front.

12. I feel ill and run down.

13. I hide myself so that nobody really knows me.

14. I keep my emotions under tight control.

15. once I was growing up, my family didn't talk openly about problems.

16. I even have stomach trouble.

17. I pick on myself for everything, including the way I feel, feel, look, act, and behave.

18. I push painful thoughts and feelings out of my awareness.

19. I grew up during a family that was troubled, unfeeling, chemically dependent, or overwrought with problems.

20. My family expressed feelings and affection openly once I was growing up.

21. I blame myself for everything an excessive amount of.

22. I'm unhappy now about the way my family coped with problems once I was growing up.

23. I'm unhappy about the way my family communicated once I was growing up.

24. I feel humiliated or embarrassed.

25. I hate myself.

The test is then scored by a licensed psychological state professional. More "true" answers increase the likelihood that somebody is codependent (except item number 20).

Treatments

Some individuals are ready to overcome codependency on their own. Learning about what it means to be codependent and therefore the harm it causes are often enough for a few individuals to vary their behavior.

Some people study their codependent tendencies through books or articles. Others stop being codependent once they experience environmental changes like a partner becomes sober or they get a replacement job that needs them to prevent care-taking.

Codependency usually requires professional treatment, however. It is often treated with talk therapy. Research shows that several different types of therapy treatments are often effective in reducing the symptoms and improving the standard of one’s life.

Group Therapy

Several different group interventions will be effective for codependency. The group dynamic gives individuals a chance to make healthier relationships in an appropriate space. group psychotherapy often involves giving regeneration and holding individuals accountable.

Group therapy methods may vary. Some involve cognitive behavioral therapy, where members learn specific skill-building strategies.

Other codependency groups follow the 12-step model. almost like the way other 12-step groups are run, individuals study their relationship addiction. Goals may include increasing self-awareness, self-esteem, and therefore the expression of feelings.

Family Therapy

Family therapy targets dysfunctional family dynamics. relations find out how to acknowledge their dysfunctional patterns and that they can find out how to enhance their relationships.

Improved communication is usually a key goal of group therapy. Issues that haven't before been discussed within the family could also be raised in therapy. Sometimes, one individual creates a change (such as getting sober or encouraging someone to be more independent) and it can change the whole family dynamic.

Cognitive Therapy

Cognitive therapy can target thoughts that contribute to unhealthy relationship patterns. for instance, a private who thinks, “I can’t stand being alone,” is probably going to travel to great lengths to take care of the connection, even when it’s not healthy to try to do so. Therapy sessions might specialize in learning the way to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and changing irrational thoughts.

The goal is probably going to make positive behavior changes and permit the opposite individual to simply accept more personal responsibility for his or her own actions.

Treatment may delve into a person’s childhood since most codependent individuals are patterning their relationships after ones they grew up seeing. Therapy may assist someone in getting into touch with their emotions and helping them experience a good range of feelings again.

0 notes

writhingcreature · 6 years

Text

so... I just finished Camp Camp

Prepare for another theory. Warning: major much many angst and SPOILERS ofc

Okay! So I personally thought I was EXACTLY like David and my friends who were also in the fandom and knew me IRL (@david-campcamp-max) agreed. Later, once I finished, I felt like Max and I had a lot of parallels too. Which made me think. If I am the way I am because I’m so much like Max and I’m (actually, seriously) EXACTLY like David.... does David have any parallels with Max?

The more I looked into it, the more sense it just seemed to make

Let me point out some things.

I feel like David got emotionally abused or felt a lot of abandonment or was neglected all his life. Maybe even bullied by other kids? He’s small. Skinny. Easy target. A popular body build for bigger, meaner, thicker kids to pick on. He’s not all that tough or mean either which would make him even easier a target, even if he was tall as a child like in adult life.

Between his parents, school experiences, or even previous camp visits might have created a very Max-like situation for him. His parents might not have cared, or the kids cared too much in the wrong way. Something that detached him from other people.

This causes him to lash out and be the “Bad Kid” we see in the episode where Jasper “dies” (insert infiltrate amounts of theories here as well) at the end. It would make sense then that’s David treasured the badge so much, even if it represented a sad change in his life. If David lied about the happenings of back then, he saw a fellow camper die (or found his body) or lost someone he probably considered a good friend the second he went good, since Jasper went bad right after. As David continues to love the camp, Jasper starts to despise it. So why would David love to remember that day?

Maybe because receiving all the attention and celebration and support and love from other people affected him so much that it made everything else not matter? Maybe that’s why he’s even so endlessly stubborn about being kind and gentle to Nerf? A kid who was just a victim of categorizing and prejudging and lack of caring, same as him??? Maybe????????

Experiencing the good attention and appreciation for the first time (I honestly think that his parents were neglectful AND his fellow peers were mean so it’s even more of a change for him) versus the nastiness and anger and bad attention (or lack thereof) he’s previously used to

It would also explain and parallel with how he reaches out to Max especially sO MUCH. Because he gets it. He understands him. He’s used to people not caring. He’s used to people being negative, which, if you think about it, also explains why he’s so good at handling when Gwen get in worse moods or Max lashes out even worse than usual.

Which also ties into why he’s so oblivious to Mr. Campbell’s evils or Daniel’s insanity. Maybe he’s just blocking out negativity. Forgetting certain details. Looking over others. He ignores Daniel’s warning signs because there’s another person who’s as happy as him and he’s desperate to find someone like that so much that he doesn’t even care who it’s from. It’s not until he’s getting ignored himself that he lashes out at Daniel. Getting ignored AGAIN after years and years of being ignored. Getting ignored again after he finally found a spotlight and Home at Camp Campbel. Maybe even found a father figure in Mr. Campbel himself. And who wants to see even the most obvious faults in the one man who actually meant soemthing to that person in a good way? Maybe that’s even why he lies to the authorities about Mr. Campbell.... even though David hats lying. Despises it. He’s so blind to Mr. Campbell’s faults that he overlooked all the happenings when Jasper (fell/died/got lost/whatever theory you have insert it here).

He’s so desperate for that solid person in his life he’ll look over little details. The knife that he lost certaintly would have heard leave it’s sheath. The words that he most certaintly would have heard come from Mr. C’s mouth. And he’s so desperate for a solidly good day and experiences in his life with reviving the medal and attention that he’s willing to ignore and wipe over possibly very important details. Jasper dying. Mr. C possibly killing him. Finding Jasper’s corpse. Anything along those lines which coincides with any theories that follow.

These bad things may also remind him of his past, causing him a lot of pain. Mr. C not caring. Or even being evil. Jasper dying, or leaving him, or shutting him out, or whatever happened between him and Jasper after that day. Daniel - the only other cheery person at camp - being insane. So he pushes it away. Ignores the signs. Pretends it’s all good Nd okay because it He lets himself think even for a second it’s not he’s going to lose his shit and fall back into past memeories that actually hAUNT him.

He clings to any shred of happiness and stability he can fin... even if it’s not there in the first place

I think that he would, then, see himself a lot in Max. This is why he opens up tot the younger boy when he’s feeling more weak or expresses so much about how he cares. That’s why he constantly, continually, eternally cares in general. Because no one else every did and he doesn’t want any of his campers, friends, or fellow leaders to ever feel like he did

He craves to be for everyone what he needed himself but never had. That true, honest, REAL goodness in someone else.

This would also explain why he likes camping so much too. He had misery at school and loneliness at home, but at camp? At camp he’s a hero. At camp he’s a leader. At camp he matters. At camp he’s important and good and happy and everyone secretly loves him, even if they won’t admit it. At camp he’s important and amazing and endlessly happy and untouchable. He’s so cheery and un-upset-able he even drives Max crazy

Anyway, that’s my theory. Just a way that David is smart and normal and real, but also makes sense. No one can be THAT dumb and THAT oblivious... unless they were doing it on purpose....

HAVE A GOOD DAY!! CAMPE DIEM!!

#camp camp #theory #fandom #david

5 notes · View notes

mynarcissticex · 4 years

Text

The Narcissist has two selves. To understand the complexity of this look at the Narcissist as having a dual personality. There is the false self and the true inner self. The false self is the defense mechanism that was enacted from when they were a child typically from abuse or neglect or from being overvalued making them feel entitled. Since the true inner self never leaves a person but is hidden in their subconscious mind there is the constant battle to project their false self out on to the world giving them a feeling of superiority and a grandiose persona. However since we are ruled by our subconscious mind as is the case with the Narcissist; they are constantly left with an inner void; a “black hole devoid of empathy and feeling love or loved. Here in lies there weakness.

Imagine for a moment what it feels like to have to constantly suppress your true self at all times for fear of feeling worthless or for fear of being abandoned or neglected? And then imagine knowing you must constantly put up a false front to the world to feel accepted or superior to others. The Narcissist knows who and what they are but doesn't care so long as that true wounded inner child is never revealed to the world. They will stop at nothing to preserve that self image even if it is at the cost of damaging good people in the process along the way. Since they have shut off their true emotions so long ago they will do anything and everything possible to prevent a Narcissistic injury from being incurred. So much so that they will hide their devious lying, cheating, projecting, gas lighting and triangulation from the world. Their true demeanor is only shown to those closest to them like their romantic partners or children or siblings. There is no depth that they will not go to to prevent the outside world from seeing this vile side of theirs and is contained so well that their victims are never believed when they do come forward to expose them. They act covertly and behind the scenes to prevent at all costs their false self being exposed to the world.

Their primary source of supply is not from their partner. For their partner is only an object upon who they can spew their venom on to who can easily be replaced at any time. Thus their partner is their secondary source of supply. Their primary source of supply is the external validation they get from either their coworkers, acquaintances (“aka flying moneys’ or “minions”) as the narcissist has no real friends; and from their short sexual affairs. This primary source is validation of their grandiose false image fueling them with constant supply. They are never privy to seeing the vile Narcissistic persona as they are never around the Narcissist for long enough stretches of time to see it. Also it easier for the Narcissist to keep their mask on for shorter spurts around these people so not to reveal their false persona.

To answer the question as to what makes them feel weak there are only two things from my vast knowledge of having lived with a Narcissist and having researched the disorder for well over a year and that is as follows.

The Narcissist fears being publicly exposed to his primary sources of supply. Whether that be humiliated in public in front of their minions or via social media as in a blog or Facebook where it can be seen by many. This delivers a severe Narcissistic injury to them and leaves them scrambling to cover up their image by telling grandiose lies about their victim to retain their false persona of perfectionism and self righteousness. However if they are put in this position expect the Narcissist to not only strike back with a vicious smear campaign but to retaliate with a vengeance as no Narcissistic injury can go unpunished as they must win at all costs; especially when it comes to keeping their reputation intact.

The Narcissist has a lack of good constant secondary source of supply to spew his/her venom on to. See a Narcissist must constantly be moving at all times like a Great white shark must move its entire life. Whether that mean preoccupying their time with work, music, tv, social media, substances like alcohol or drugs, a steady romantic partner…. I mean victim, or going out to night clubs or bars or at a gym. If the Narcissist sits idle for too long it allows them too much time for self reflection which must be avoided at all costs! To self reflect would make them have to face their true inner self/wounded inner child and would cause them not only a severe Narcissistic injury but will cause them to suffer from depression and severe anxiety to see the counterfeit selves they really are! So a lack of constant supply in the secondary source will hurt them and is constantly sought after and needed.

The Narcissist since always in a state of suppressing their true inner self feels a void at all times knowing that the grandiose image presented to the world is a fake. A phony needs a supply to validate their false persona. However, once they attain a good source of supply they must devalue it for they can not maintain their mask indefinitely. Covert Narcissists can do this for longer periods of time as opposed to overt ones but inherently their mask will fall off thus revealing their vile and horrific personalities and behaviors. The reason they do this is a very sick and twisted never ending cycle inherent to all Cluster B personality disordered individuals but in my opinion none more worse than the Narcissist. They are constantly looking for validation and to be loved for who they are but knowing that they are a fraud and that their victim is showing them true love they wind up despising their victim for possessing traits they wish they could have and feel but know they can never relate to since their real self has been buried and locked away long ago. So they must project their hatred of their false self on to their victims in order for them to feel superior to them. By destroying their victim’s psychologically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and soulfully they again feel alive and superior to their victims thus suppressing their inner demons that they constantly battle on a daily basis.

It is truly one of the sickest disorders one can ever experience and even worse for their victims to have experienced! Since today's society is so messed up due to children coming from so many broken homes and since it is estimated that 1 in 3 individuals suffers from some form of mental illness/disorders the likelihood of a child forming a disorder due to abuse or inheriting a gene from a parent is extremely grand. That is why it is so important that children who are fortunate enough to come from well rounded homes with non disordered parents must be warned about vampires and soul destroyers like the Narcissist or other Cluster B predators prior to ever entering the dating world so as to protect themselves and be aware that not everyone they meet has their best interest at heart.

Yes the Narcissist is a constantly weak individual spewing venom on those closest to him that love him/her. But the sad reality is that they would rather die with their false persona intact then to face their true inner selves. There is no cure for them and so very few will ever face their inner demons and admit that they have a disorder let alone seek help for it!

0 notes

7-days-with-a-spn-ethusiast · 5 years

Text

Child Abandonment in Supernatural

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/dysfunction/2017/07/19-lasting-effects-of-abandoning-or-emotionally-unavailable-parents/There are more examples of child abandonment/neglect in Supernatural than any other show I have ever seen. From John leaving Dean to raise Sam, Claire’s father disappearing on her and her mother to be Castiel’s vessel, to even Gabriel and Cas living with the fact that their father abandoned all of them because Lucifer and Michael had been throwing too many temper tantrums for his liking. It’s been a wild, very negative towards their health on this show, and I honestly love/hate it.

I did some research, and on psychcentral.com I found a list of effects from being abandoned as a child:

1. Abusive relationship

2. Anxiety disorders or symptoms

3. Attachment Disorders

4. Borderline Personality Disorders

5. Care-taking & codependency

6. Chaotic lifestyle

7. Clingy/needy behavior

8. Compulsive behaviors may develop

9. Depression

10. Desperate relationships/relationships that happen too fast

11. Disturbances of mood, cannot self-regulate and experiences emotions in extremes

12. Extreme jealousy and possessiveness

13. Lack of confidence, self-esteem issue

14. May be poor at self-soothing

15. People-pleasing behaviors to detriment of self

16. Poor coping strategies

17. Promiscuity

18. Relationship problems

19. Trust issues

There are countless examples of this within Supernatural.

Abusive Relationship: I’m not trying to say that Destiel is abusive, persay, but it’s not the healthiest relationship.

Anxiety Disorders or Symptoms: Both Dean and Sam showed symptoms of anxiety, most likely coming from being dragged around the country from an early age where they constantly wondered if the other would die. From time to time it’ll be mentioned that they only get four hours of sleep or even less at times. On healthline.com it used irrational fears as a symptom of anxiety, which leads me to think of Sam’s fear of clowns.

Attachment Disorders: The Winchester brothers. Need I say more?

Care-taking and Codependency: Dean literally raised Sam ever since he was four, not to mention the constant need to be near each other.

Chaotic Lifestyle: For once, I’m not only talking about the Winchesters. Gabriel ran off and went under the name of Loki and became the Trickster. Castiel ate who knows how many souls from Purgatory. Claire ran off and became a hunter. Dean and Sam, well, watch the show.

Clingy/Needy Behavior: Both Castiel and Dean tend to cling to each other, which led to comments such as “get out of my ass, Cas.”

Compulsive Behaviors May Develop: Dean’s an alcoholic. Sam was addicted to demon blood. Gabriel has a strange addiction to candy and sweets, which could just be part of filling the part of a trickster, but I’m doubtful.

Depression: Right now Castiel will literally die if he lets himself be happy. C’mon guys, it’s all over this show.

Desperate Relationships/Relationships that happen too fast: I know Destiel’s not canon, but they’ve kind of been acting like a couple since early season four, so….

Disturbances of mood, cannot self-regulate and experiences emotions in extreme: This reminds me of Claire and how with everything she does, there’s no middle ground.

Extreme jealousy and possessiveness: Yeah, Destiel guys. Cas is a jealous boyfriend, and have you read the fanfiction? Damn, I know it’s not cannon but damn.

Lack of confidence, self-esteem issue: So TFW’s self-esteem kind of seems to drop throughout the show, but that’s probably because of torture and people dying.

Maybe poor at self-soothing: Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but they kind of hate themselves. Like a lot.

People-pleasing behaviors to detriment of self: Sam had really good grades, which isn’t a bad thing, but I wonder if it’s because John never gave him any sense of self-worth. Gabriel even turned to fight his brother for what? To be told he was a good person?

Poor Coping Strategies: Can someone go and tell Sam that going to cut trees is not a good response to your surrogate son dying? And while you’re at it, just tell the whole team that getting drunk isn’t an answer to Jack’s death.

Promiscuity: Let’s be real here, we all want to as comfortable around the gender we’re attracted to as Dean Winchester. I know I sure do.

Relationship Problems: Dean’s never been in a long term relationship, other than Lisa if you count season 5/6. Anyone Sam has sex with dies.

Trust Issues: It took Dean and Sam forever to completely trust Cas, which is understandable after well, everything.

You know, it’s kind of disturbing how much I relate to some of these, especially since I literally have two parents, who though kind of left my sister and me to figure out life on our own and how to lie our asses off, are pretty good parents.

Sources:

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/anxiety-disorder-symptoms#section11

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/dysfunction/2017/07/19-lasting-effects-of-abandoning-or-emotionally-unavailable-parents/

0 notes

yourejustdifferentnow · 5 years

Text

Personal

Trigger Warnings: mentions of emotional abuse, mentions of suicide.

I highly doubt anybody will read this, and I don't necessarily care if anybody does or not, but I just need somewhere to vent and talking to my friend didn't really help.

I was diagnosed with severe depression, generalized anxiety, and ptsd at the age of 13. The summer leading up to high-school was one of the most stressful times of my life, and those hardships soon made me realize how abusive my mother was, and would become. Before then, we'd have typical mother-daughter arguments, but nothing impactful enough to ever damage our relationship. That changed drastically during that summer, when she began to lash out at me every time I expressed an insecurity or even considered shedding a tear. Instead of comforting me, she'd yell at me and invalidate my feelings. Obviously this only worsened my condition, and I'd find myself crying more often than not, and panic attacks/breakdowns had become my norm.

After a few months, she finally decided to send me to therapy and attending was one of the best things I'd ever done. I finally had someone validating my mental illnesses and truly listening to me, but because my mom didn't see much improvement within as little as six months, the abuse began once again. She'd constantly threaten to take me out of therapy, or accuse me of bad-mouthing her to my therapist. Whenever I'd choose to stick up for myself, she'd call me an array of names such as: selfish, lazy, bitch, etc. Rather quickly I began to resent her, and recognizing her true colors made me want to do anything but trust her.

This continued for the next two years, until I was 16 (going onto 17). She was the cause of the worst day of my life, in which her and my biological brother mentally and emotionally abused me for nearly an hour. I had decided to finally express my feelings to my mother in a letter, saying how terrible she makes me feel, and it wasn't all-too surprsinging to hear her lashing out only minutes later about it. She watched as I stood in the doorway of her room and shook in fear, and told me that she no longer loves me. She said I disgusted her, should be sent to a mental institution, and will need to find a place to live because she no longer wants me. Empty threats are her forte, it's a defense mechanism and her way of forcing me into submission and compliance rather than addressing the actual problem, but in the moment I couldn't have possibly known she didn't mean those things. That was the first time I ever wanted to genuinely kill myself, and I was moments away from swallowing a whole bottle of pills. If it weren't for my brother (not biological, I met him a few years back and he's been a better brother than my actual one) talking to me on FaceTime and calming me down, I'm not sure I'd still be here today. I recorded nearly the entire thing, her and my biological brother abusing me, and to this day I still haven't listened back to it because I just can't. Simply writing about that day brings me to tears, let alone talking or hearing about it. I recorded it in case I needed to take it to authorities to report my mother for child neglect and abuse, which was a serious consideration. For months after that incident I thought about reporting her, whether it be to my school or the authorities, just to get away from her, but ultimately I decided not to. Being taken out of my home and placed in a foster care seemed much more terrifying, and at least the abuse was familiar. Plus, my one cat, Angel, is my soulmate and I refuse to ever leave her. Even in this moment, I know for a fact that I could not live without her. I would impulsively end my life if I lost her now, and especially then. She's sitting next to me as I type this; she is my anchor.

After that day, it was blatant that my mother and I's relationship would never be the same. She eventually apologized in a therapy session where I had admitted that I couldn't wait to get away from her, and presumably that broke her heart because she bursted into tears. I did have some hope that maybe we could get somewhere, but deep down I knew I could never forgive her for that day as long as I lived with her. Things seemed to be okay for a little while, but then I graduated from high school this past May, and once again things worsened. My depression basically leaves me bedridden most days, and my anxiety prevents me from doing simple things like getting a job or my license. Therapy helps, and I tried five different medications but none of them made a difference, so I abandoned that path. I've made a lot of progress, such as returning to public school in 11th grade when I had previously isolated myself to online schooling. I used to not shower for days, not brush my teeth or ever leave my room, and now I take care of my hygiene on a daily basis. I move around more; I am slowly (very slowly) getting better. But that isn't enough for my mother, and so she's been down my throat about getting a job. I've had multiple conversations with her explaining how difficult it is for me, and that I'm truly trying, and maybe in the moment she listens but it never actually sticks. The threats have returned, whether it's about her putting a bullet in her head because she's tired of everything, or me getting kicked out because I don't contribute. I understand that I am 18 and therefore carry more responsibility than a minor, but the circumstances are drastically different for a person like me. Regardless, I don't want to blab on with excuses, so I'll get to today.

I confronted her about money she had technically stolen from me ($95), and I already knew it wouldn't go down well. My heart was in my stomach the entire day, and when I finally mentioned it, she lost it. I have been diagnosed with ptsd, but she only thinks it's in relation to a specific event that happened with another person. She doesn't know that I also experience it with her, and the moment she raises her voice, my heart quickens, tears threaten to spill, and in that moment I literally want to die. I walk on eggshells with her because I want to avoid setting her off; it affects me terribly. Anyways, instead of handling the situation like adults, she brought up me not having a job again and said I have until January 1st to get a job or else she's kicking me out. It's December 15th, and the holidays are just around the corner. On top of that, I do not have my license and my permit needs to be renewed, but in order to do so I need her to take me to the DMV. I don't have friends in real life due to my years of depression and isolation, so I am completely alone and trapped. Talking to people only helps so much, because at the end of the day I am still stuck with her.

I do not love my mother anymore. It truly hurts to say that, and even I want to doubt that I mean it, but it is simply the truth. I once loved her, and I still care about her life, but I no longer view her as a real mother-figure. She's a woman who gave birth to me and raised me, but not a woman that ever taught me anything. Not a woman that set boundaries, that allowed me to confide in her, or that consoled and validated me. She knows how to physically care for a kid, she knows how to buy them gifts, but she doesn't know any other love language and as a result, she does not love her child in the way that she needs. Talking to her is pointless, having my therapist talk to her is also pointless, this is just who she is. My mother is a manipulator and emotional abuser. She is not a good person, and I cannot wait for the day that I get away from her. I want nothing more than to run far away from here and never see or talk to her again, but clearly that is not realistic. I try and hold hope for the day that I move out, but as a college student, that will be years from now. I can not afford to live on campus, nor can I emotionally afford to be separated from Angel for months at a time. I truly am trapped, and I can't imagine that I'll live past my college graduation if things remain the same. Sometimes death seems like the only escape from her.

I didn't go into details/specifics of certain events or things she's said/done simply because anybody could read this. Police have been involved in one specific situation and it led to nothing; the case was closed. I'm sure that things don't seem that bad in the way that I've described them, but I wouldn't wish my situation on anybody; no matter how awful people can be. I hate that I'm pitying myself, but god do I wish I didn't suffer from mental illnesses so that I could function like a normal human being. I could get a job, get my license, actually have friends and want to hang out with them. My mom wouldn't lash out as much, and it'd be so much easier for me to just get the fuck out of here. If I could, I would run away to another state to live with a friend, as long as I could bring Angel. I wish I could live with my brother (the one I met a few years ago online) but he's still living with his parents and it wouldn't be ideal/possible.

I try not to allow room in my heart for hate, but how I feel about my mother is on the border of hatred.

I forgot to mention that I don't have any other family, because we've cut off contact from them over a year ago due to a few really terrible issues. My entire family on my mothers side are disgusting (this is factual, it isn't my mother making things up) and my father isn't in my life so I don't have his family.

I have.. no one.

#gosh #i kind of hope no one reads this #if i read this on someones blog my heart would shatter #and id just want to save them #my heart goes out to every kid/young adult stuck in an abusive household #it is so fucking hard #it never stops being hard #i just wish my life was different #personal #tw: emotional abuse #tw: suicide

0 notes

acahill2-blog · 6 years

Photo

Trauma and Creativity

Asher Lev dealt with some trauma in his mother being sick at the beginning of the story and, more pronounced, his inner struggles to remain a pious Jew despite his seemingly uncontrollable and threatening gift. The biggest conflicts seemed to be in his relationships with others - his father, his teachers, other kids - and the turmoil in those relationships was almost always a direct consequence of his own actions. For example, his father and teachers couldn’t understand Asher’s lack of effort in school or his need to paint and draw so obsessively. His mother was also greatly effected by the role Asher put her in as a mediator constantly torn between siding with Asher and Aryeh. In essence, while you could argue that Asher had no control over his need to create, he was still in many ways the source of the tumultuous and traumatic relationships in his life - he had the power, theoretically, to reduce these tensions.

Claude, on the other hand, faced trauma that was completely out of his control. He was a victim of trauma of neglect, which was not a consequence of his actions. In the beginning of the book, Claude’s mother, Emma, seemed to suffer from alcoholism and was not a particularly involved or interested mother. She essentially left Claude to fend for himself from a very early age while she was at work driving her taxi or at home drinking. In his early years, Claude seemed to fear her and her volatile behavior, and she made him feel unwanted and invisible. Later on, when Claude was in middle school and high school, his connection with Emma seemed to improve slightly, until she, after some sketchy work with potential criminals (which I still do not fully understand), was sent into a period of declining mental health. At one point, Claude saw her protesting in the street and tried to talk to her, but she was so consumed in shouting her message that she didn’t even recognize him (pp.117):

She was wet, her hair plastered down and water running over her face. She held out a limp leaflet to Claude. “It’s all here. Take it.”

Claude moved forward. “It’s me.”

She looked at him, but she didn’t see him... “Unless the people act to stop - ”

“It’s me!” he shouted. “It’s me!”

Other traumas suffered by Claude that were also out of his control were poverty and a lack of a father, though you could argue that Mr. Weisfield became much like a father figure to Claude. However, apart Emma’s story about Claude’s father having died in war (which I don’t think Claude really believed), his lack of a father likely contributed to traumatic feelings of abandonment and low worth. While his piano mastery later afforded him great opportunities and connections, including private school, high-society friends and prestigious concert appearances, his childhood trauma would never leave him. This lingering, sometimes repressed feelings seemed to be both a curse and a blessing for Claude in terms of his creativity.

Claude had buried (but not, of course, completely extinguished) the memories of his early childhood - the vague nausea, the loneliness, weakness, and vulnerability. Fear of those old ghosts drove him, without his knowing it, into dependency on ritual, and into a highly compartmentalized way of life. If there was anything remotely like a center to his existence, it was Weisfield and the studio below the store, but his mother was separate... (pp. 170).

Claude’s rigid lifestyle, exemplified by his strict adherence to schedule and to rules, was a coping mechanism and escape in reaction to his unpredictable childhood in which he had no control. Even in college, he adhered to this lifestyle, getting up at 5:00 A.M. to practice the piano. He protected this regime intensely, not allowing anyone to interfere or distract him. In this protectiveness, Claude and Asher find common ground. Their different types of trauma and reactions to trauma, however, show stark contrasts. The trauma in Asher’s life seemed to be a result of his creativity while for Claude, it was the other way around. For both, somewhere deep down they needed to work on their craft, but for reasons vastly different.

Interlude: Resilience

In Sawyer’s chapter called “The Creative Personality”, he discusses the effects of several specific traumas on a creative person’s development. What stood out in thinking about Claude is what Sawyer calls the orphan effect, or the phenomenon of a disproportionately high amount (between 1/3 and 1/2) of eminent creators who lost a parent before the age of 21. As an aside, I would hypothesize that this proportion is even higher in athletes. LeBron James comes to mind as an extremely high achieving person with that never-satisfied mentality who was also raised by a single mother in poverty. Sawyer offers two hypotheses for the orphan effect, the first being that children become high achievers to emotionally compensate for a parent’s absence. The second hypothesis, which I personally put more stock into, centers on a psychology buzzword going around a lot today - resilience. Sawyer suggests that “... loss of the parent forces the child to develop a resilient personality simply to overcome the obstacles that face a life with only one parent” (pp. 69). I think that in Claude’s case, this is right on the money. Claude was forced to be a resilient person from such an early age that when the task came to learn something new on his own like the piano, to figure out a way to fish for coins in sewers to make money for lunch, and getting up at the crack of dawn to commute to his lessons, he had the tools to handle it. The most successful people are the most resilient, and Sawyer even goes as far as stating, “If a person grows up in a happy, financially stable family, he or she may just have it too good in childhood to be driven to greatness” (pp. 69). I’m not a parent, but this does make me question in almost a perverse feeling way if there is a certain amount of difficulty that you should allow, or force (?) your child to go through - the epitome of “tough love”. In class, we talked about hover parents and how, despite the best of intentions, they may be hurting their children in more than obvious ways.

In viewing this trauma-creativity relationship, I find it useful to think about Maslow’s Hierarchy because, as you said in class, people are usually only able to be creatively productive after a certain trauma - not so much during. This makes sense if you think about creative processes as an “extra” that cannot exist until basic needs, like safety, are met. It seems natural that this trauma/resolution/creativity timeline is different for everyone according to their personal levels of resilience, but that it is somewhat universal for people who see resolution of their trauma. Claude, to an extent, actually exemplifies this in his latching on to the piano when he was a little bit older, more accustomed to his mother’s behavior, less fearful of her and more independent and accepting of his situation. When he was really young, as described in the opening scene of the book, I think he was too inundated with feelings of confusion, loneliness and weakness to pursue a creative activity.

0 notes

shmkxx-blog · 7 years

Text

Untitled.

Right, so I need to sort my shit out. I don’t think anybody can live like this. It feels like a million thoughts rushing through my head at the same time. It becomes unbearable and they are all just that; thoughts. I need to break the cycle, before it breaks me.... before it breaks us. It sounds crazy, but for the first time in my life, I have met someone who sees under my mask without taking it off, and yet I am still afraid. I say that I’ve moved on and that I have gotten over everything that I have been through so far in my life, but I’m starting to think that I’m lying to myself. I need to get to the bottom of why it still affects me and why it still has a hold of me. Perhaps I need to start from the very beginning and work my way through my timeline, despite how painful this could be to bring to the surface. I suppose the more that I bottle it, the more the pressure builds, and that’s why I experience these emotional outbursts, so let’s try something new, something completely different. Growing up, I had a pretty happy childhood, it just took me a long time to remember those types of memories because all I seemed to hold onto were the ones that make me freeze, that make me fearful and scared and unable to trust. My dad had a temper that often got out of control and as hard as it is for me to write this, I was no stranger to physical violence from him. I think he has blocked out that time in his life too, because the dad I had then, is a completely different person to the dad I have now. My house was constantly filled with screaming, shouting, crying, the sounds of slapping, hitting and hyperventilating. My parents went through a very unamicable divorce when I was 10 of which I was thrown in the middle. My dad and his family turned very nasty towards me. It’s sickening thinking of everything that they did to me. They criticized the way I looked, would corner me with a hand raised, threatening me. They swore at me. I was told on several occasions that I was a mistake, I was never wanted and that my mum should have got rid. This went on for 4 years, and by the time I turned 14, I was depressed. I started having anxiety attacks at school which would involve frequent visits from paramedics and trips to the hospital because I would lose consciousness. At this point, I cut contact with my dads family including my siblings and suddenly felt very alone and unloved. I think being at a pinnacle point of my life where hormones and emotions were flying around, it was one huge mess. Just as I got rid of my bullying family, I started getting bullied at school, physically, verbally, emotionally, mentally. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and seeing someone I didn’t recognise, like I was in there somewhere but it was so deeply hidden it was barely visible. I remember getting some nail scissors and cutting myself. It wasn’t deep, I knew it wouldn't scar, but I found that physical pain was easier to cope with than the emotional pain I was feeling inside. This bullying went on until I finished sixth form. It was never-ending for another 4 years, despite intervention by my mum and stepdad and also teachers, it carried on, even outside of the school gates. I grew too exhausted to fight it and just pretended it had been sorted. When I was 18, I went off to university. It was supposed to be such an exciting time for me, I was starting my career as a childrens nurse, something I had wanted to do for a long time. I felt like my life could suddenly take off, but the euphoria was short lived, as the bullying started all over again. Even worse that I lived with them in the same student flat. Every night was spent in floods of tears, I had my belongings defaced and destroyed, the kitchen wall tiles were covered in marker pen, horrible names, mockery, disgusting drawings of me that I would have to clean off. They would bang constantly on my bedroom door chanting at me. Once again I looked in the mirror, and the person staring back was ghosting. Finally after 6 months, I went to the doctor who diagnosed me with severe depression and anxiety and I packed up my belongings, packed up my course, and returned home. I lost a lot of weight, i suddenly became obsessed with my weight and started making myself sick and taking strong laxatives. I started self harming again but this time it was intense and noticeable. I started smoking and drinking heavily. I became somebody that I never thought I could. I got into my first lesbian relationship, and it wasn’t me. I convinced myself that it was, but I wasn’t gay, I just tried to make changes in my life, anything that could bring some happiness where possible. I was searching in all the wrong places for all the wrong things. This girl encouraged my depression, she encouraged my self harm and even spoke about assisted suicide where we would take an overdose together. I became very emotionally disturbed to the point I started having seizures. They were psychological. My brain activity would get too hyper, my anxiety would flare, my heart would race, and I would find myself on the floor fitting. Then I ran away. Well not exactly, I didn’t just up and leave, I needed a new start. I got myself a new job in Sidmouth, Devon and I moved down here nearer to my grandparents. It was a place I had been holidaying to since I was 6 years old. It was like home. Life seemed to be getting better, days seemed easier to manage. I was sleeping better, eating better, but the problem with running away is that your problems follow you wherever you go, because they’re inside your head. I met David. At first everything was amazing. He was loving, kind, supportive and he gave me the confidence boost I needed. He appeared when everything started going down hill again. I had started getting my seizures again, even whilst at work. Hospital became my home from home. Finally I was diagnosed with PNES (Psychological Non Epileptic Seizures). In short, my body cannot hand certain levels of stress and anxiety, so it shuts down. David was there through it all. We fell pregnant twice between Aug 2011 and March 2012, both ended in miscarriages which were even more destructive to my mental health. During this time, I was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. This means that you have to have at least 5 of the following behaviours (I had all): Extreme reactions to feeling abandoned. Unstable relationships with others. Confused feelings about who you are. Being impulsive in ways that could be damaging. For example, spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating Regular self-harming, suicidal threats or behaviour. Long lasting feelings of emptiness or being abandoned. Difficulty controlling your anger. For example, losing your temper or getting into fights. Intense, highly changeable moods. Paranoid thoughts when you’re stressed. The way I am isn’t my fault, I was born this way. It just needed some trauma to trigger it. What causes BPD?

‘It is not clear exactly what causes BPD. There are different factors that can lead to someone getting borderline personality disorder (BPD). The main causes seem to be the following’: Traumatic childhood. You might have experienced difficulties in your childhood. This could include neglect or being abandoned by a parent. Or physical, emotional or sexual abuse. Brain problems. You might have slight differences in your brain. Genetics. Some research shows that BPD may be passed on through genes. But there is no clear evidence that there is a gene that causes BPD.

It gave me some clarification in understanding myself and why I was experiencing the emotions I had. I was put on a medication called Quetiapine, which would help with the anxiety and keeping my psychosis under its peak. Not long after I went on it, we fell pregnant again in August 2012. It had been something we both wanted and we were very happy and excited especially when we had, had the 12 week scan to show everything was as normal and it was highly unlikely that I would miscarry. I still had the pain of losing my 2 previous babies, I still do now to some degree. It becomes more manageable. My pregnancy had a few complications, but overall was a smooth, happy and exciting time. I couldn’t wait to be a mother. The day that Oliver was born, was the best day of my life. After losing two babies, I finally had one that was warm, and crying and suckling against me, and he was all mine. The first few days were an incredible experience. David was a fantastic hands on dad, he would help me with the night feeds, he would watch Oliver so I could get my head down. We were a happy family and then on day 4, my brain switched. I’m not sure what triggered it, but I was suddenly unable to be anywhere near my child. I couldn’t look at him, I couldn’t do anything for him, I couldn’t even be in the same room as him. I became severely mentally ill. I was sectioned into a psychiatric facility and then moved on to a mum and baby unit. I was self harming and attempting suicide. On discharge, I was put under social services and Oliver was a child in need. I had to work hard for him not to be put into foster care and adopted. This drew a huge wedge between me and David. He was having to look after a newborn baby on his own, and I knew he was bitter. I started group therapy. It didn’t seem to help at first, but after a few sessions, I noticed a difference, I started recognising my triggers, and learning to accept the bad days when they came around. I started being able to bond with Oliver. I started being able to give him a quick cuddle, and then I started to give him a bottle, then change a nappy. They brought in a care worker to work with me and help me with my relationship with Oliver. When Oliver turned 6 months old, I had worked so hard to repair everything that social services closed my case and I became unsupervised and able to be a responsible parent for my own child. It was the best christmas present I could have asked for. As my relationship with Oliver improved, my relationship with David deteriorated. He didn’t want to be involved with either of us. He would rather go out with friends, sleep and game. Yet still, I decided to marry him on 7th June 2014. I immaturely thought that it would make things ok again. At first it did. Our relationship was great, and then as the honeymoon wore off, all of our problems just reared their ugly heads. I started finding conversations to other people about how he didn’t want to be with me anymore, I found emails to other girls, off of craigslist and porn sites wanting to meet up for casual sex no strings attached, I then started finding bags of powder around the bedroom and snorting equipment. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what he was doing, and I felt that I only had myself to blame. I would ask him, and he would fob me off with stupid excuses, often getting verbally abusive with me, which would then cause me to shut down and apologise for my behaviour. Seems crazy really when I knew what he was doing. I was apologising for challenging his infidelity and drug taking. Things became a lot worse between us, the abuse became more frequent as was his sickening behaviour. The abuse became more frequent, it became verbal, emotional and physical, and he started to blackmail me. He would also throw in my face about me being a crap mother who couldn’t even touch her own baby or look at him. Something I was trying to get over. It all came to a head in September 2016 when I returned from America. Oliver was being quite difficult and causing me a lot of stress trying to get to bed. I could tell that David had, had a few drinks and I thought he had probably taken something... he had pushed me and grabbed oliver by the neck of his clothing and started screaming in his face, Oliver started crying and saying he was scared, David then grabbed him and threw him across the bed, his head narrowly missing the wall. All I can hear in my head to this day is ‘daddy no, daddy please don’t, daddy im scared’ over and over. David then thumped him, right on his back and growled to the side of his face like he was an animal. At this point I was in floods of tears, trying to get my child to cuddle him, but David was snarling at me. Then the doorbell went and the neighbour had come round concerned. He saw the look on my face, he had heard oliver’s crying and fear, and he wanted me to leave and get rid of David. So that night, I did, I waited until David was asleep, packed our bags and Oliver and I were greeted by my parents in the car as we snuck out the house. There was no looking back after that. I felt alone, and unloved and deserving of all the pain and suffering because it was all I had ever really knew. On top of this, my granma who had been my support and my rock, passed away when Oliver was 2 weeks old from an aortic anerysm. It was sudden, and it turned my life into deeper turmoil.

My biggest fear is it happening all over again, even though this time I know that it won’t. I’m scared of trusting, I’m scared of being loved, because it never usually works out for me, but if I want to be happy, I have to put all of this aside and move on. I can’t keep revisiting this as a setback, otherwise I will never learn to be happy. I can’t keep holding onto what I went through. I can give that advice to other people, but when it comes to taking it myself, I have a hard time digesting that information. The truth is, I CAN be happy now. I have a beautiful relationship with my son, which I was scared wouldn’t happen after our experience. I have a roof over my head, and I provide for both of us. I have the most loving and caring boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. I am so very lucky that he is in my life. I have a loving and supportive family unit who will always be there for me. My relationship with my dad and his family is even fixed. I have a fantastic best friend who is like a brother to me, and we have been there for each other through thick and thin and I know he’s not going anywhere. Ultimately, I have so much going for me, that some people could only dream of. I need to start accepting and appreciating what I have and stop looking back to what I didn’t. So that’s what I’m going to do, this passage was a way of me getting everything down and off of my chest so that I can move on from all of this. So that it doesn’t have a hold over me, so that I can start to enjoy life and see everything as a learning curve. I wish I wasn’t as sensitive as I am, but I am and I can’t change that, it’s part of my personality, but what I can change is my outlook on everything. I need to be more positive and wake up each day feeling lucky and happy. Ryan says I have nothing to worry about and nothing to fear, so I’m going to start trusting him, and not fearing it, because I love him. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anybody in that way. We have a beautiful connection and I would be an idiot to break that and throw it away, all because of insecurities that are based on past events which I can’t change. I can’t change the past, I can change the now, so that’s what I’m going to do, change the now. Because the now is where I want to be, building a future with Ryan, Lilia and Oliver. That’s all I want. The simple life. Just us. Because having that, makes me the luckiest girl in the world.

0 notes

Last Seen Blogs

7days7poems

; 8个月

404pagecannotbefound

404 Page Cannot be Found

heli-hust

H.E.L.I. Inc

utbcficrecs

fic recs by your fave slag

tishalfdeadwaffles

A waffle's place to ramble, reblog, & rant