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bitch-i-migth-be · 4 years

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Crash Course | Chapter 04: A Busy Queen Bee

Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Batman,

Relationships: Danny Fenton & Jazz Fenton,

Characters: Danny Fenton, Jazz Fenton, Ghost Writer, Clockwork, Observants, Pariah Dark mentions, Random ghosties mentions *boo*

Words: 2′549

Tags: BAMF Danny, BAMF Jazz, Sibling bonding, Shenanigans, Swearing

Summary: He swore his sister was trying to make him go into cardiac arrest - considering his halfa status that was quite the accomplishment-

But there was no other explanation to his sister’s stubbornness, and if he knew her at all there was just no talking her down from interning at goddam Arkham.

A/N: The academy location is what the Gotham Academy Comic brought up to the table on it’s pages. Gotham Academy IS across the road on that comic.

Complete madmen, I’m telling you. That’s child endangerment right there and like HELL I’m passing up this opportunity HAHAHAHA.

This is going to be a disaster.

CHAPTERS: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

-.-.-.-

Danny was quickly writing down on his journal every single little thing that could be helpful to deal more efficiently with his workload, had been rather busy lately, and normally he would just wing it and be done with it, but this time there were some things he had to take into consideration before he started to poke bears with sticks.

One of the most important?

When you are dealing with ghosts, you have to take into account that they have a thing called obsession.

It’s their drive. The reason behind their actions and continual existence upon this world, and as such, a good way to guess what makes them tick.

Danny liked to pretend he was not a slave of a fucking obsession, but considering he was still fighting the ghosts, with no payment to speak of, and after the massive amount of times someone had used his face to scrub the streets-

The fake it ‘till you make it ideology only carried you so far in life.

His friends called it a hero-type obsession.

Danny didn’t think that fit quite right.

When he couldn’t turn a blind eye on one of his, particularly reckless, actions he preferred to describe it as a protection streak.

Obsessions were ‘born’ the moment of one’s death, after all.

And there had been nothing heroic in the way he had died.

He had been scared shitless.

The moment it had clicked in his head that he would most definitely die right there, all the reasons why he didn’t want to die yet flashed by his mind, all those places left to visit, his dreams of going to space, going out with his friends, his family- My god, Jazz …

He would leave his sister behind.

He was leaving her alone in this godforsaken house with their parents.

Even after all the years the Fenton siblings spent calling living in the Fenton household ‘survival’ they had only been playing around. It was supposed to be just a joke. Something to lighten and make fun of their weird family dynamic.

It wasn’t supposed to escalate like this.

And now- n-now their parents had demonstrated that they were apparently more than capable of killing off — if accidentally — one of their children, what the fuck would prevent them from murdering the other one?

Who was going to protect his sister?

The fear for his well being had rapidly transformed into dread for his sister’s future. A tremendous and sudden rush of protectiveness had inundated his being.

And that was it for him.

The next time he had recovered some semblance of coherence he had awakened as a fully minted halfa and there was no going back.

Some months later, after learning more about his situation and what it meant, he had been capable of identifying what was the drive behind his ghost half. Jazz had been the catalyst, but apparently the sheer feeling of protectiveness had been what his soul had latched onto. So while his sister was a big priority, he recognized that he still felt somewhat inclined to protect in general.

He still refused to call it an obsession, though.

So Protection Urges it was.

Apart from keeping a constant watch on their house —for both their sake’s, truly—, when the ghosts started running wild all over the place his new ghost instincts had come to the conclusion that a safe town meant a safe sister — and a happy sister. Jazz would blow a fuse worrying about getting lynched by the town when they realized the older Fentons were at fault of the destruction of their homes. And he would worry about his sister getting skewered. An intervention was in order —, so, most of the time this protection was reserved for the humans, considering the weak things tended to get trapped in the crossfire between the ghosts and their obsession or even other ghosts.

There were also moments when humans would turn against other humans. But in a place like Amity — where the citizens felt a certain level of kinship against the ghostly invaders and tended to stick together — those tended to be scarce and far between.

The occasions where his protection streak would show up in favor of ghosts weren’t as numerous, but they existed. They tended to be either when the G.I.W. got their imbecility involved, his parents were hell-bent on getting subjects for dissection or when other fucking ghosts insisted on being fucking assholes.

After all the time he spent dealing with ghosts it was undeniable there were good ghosts out there, and no matter the reason, when he helped these ghosts out most of them tended to be openly grateful. Some promised him their allegiance, others gave him their respect, and a good bunch of them would find subtle ways to stay under his protection.

Once the almost disaster that had been Pariah Dark was over, some of the ghosts had started to actively request his protection.

Some of the most aggressive ghosts had started to back down, shit, even Walker was not bitching at him as much as he used to these days. He would think he was going soft, but he still looked at him like something the dog had dragged in — which, ok, that was true sometimes because Wulf, or even Cujo, but there was no need to be rude —, Danny didn’t really mind, Walker wasn’t his favorite person either.

So things were a little better for him when he visited the Ghost Zone, and he could make things somewhat better for the weaker ghosts that relied on him for protection. As far as Danny was concerned he was doing fine in his protection duties. Fast forward a pair of months and the Ghost Writer was kind enough to inform him that while he was doing an excellent job with the fighting aspect, he sucked in all the others.

Apparently, when a ghost asked for the protection of another ghost they were requesting a lot more than just a ‘fight for me’. — And how the fuck was he supposed to even know that? — This, of course, also meant that they were willing to offer a lot more in exchange. But Danny wasn’t as focused on what he could get in return as in the fact that he was apparently lacking on his role as protector.

Not on his goddamn watch.

Damn his fucking urges.

Later on, with more time and experience to sort through this wreck waiting to happen and after he finally got the chance to met more of the sovereigns of the Infinity Realms and personally witness their interactions with their people, he would start to understand what exactly this new role he had stumbled upon meant.

For the moment the only thing he deemed as the first priority was supplying the ghosts under his care with a safe space to exist.

According to the Ghost Writer, giving them a safe space would normally translate into welcoming them into his lair, because the weaker ghosts that normally requested protection didn’t have the proper energy levels to make one of their own.

The problem with that was that he didn’t have a lair.

…Not necessarily.

GW hypothesized that, as he was so attached to his hometown and spend the most part of his time in there, it was likely that his ghost half recognized the entirety of Amity Park as his lair, and as such his instincts hadn’t seen the construction of one for his own use in the Zone as necessary. Or something along those lines.

That had been a bump on the road for his plans.

Nonetheless, a Fenton does not know when to fucking stop, so he kept at it.

When he nagged clockwork about it the older — or younger, whatever he was at the time — ghost had said that winning a fight against a ghost king meant inheriting their lair by right of conquest. So technically speaking, Danny did have a lair now, no matter how creepy the thing was.

That was all good and dandy but didn’t quite resolve the main problem.

Because now the problem was that Pariah’s goddamned keep — now Phantom’s —, was ‘guarding’ one sleeping murderous king, and two fucking powerful artifacts. And opening the doors to what amounted to a small army of random ghosts while those things were there was not a good idea.

But, seeing as Danny was not about to expose ghosts or humans to each other, there was no way he was letting his ‘people’ into Amity, so the castle it was.

Considering the significance the crown, ring, and even fucking Pariah held for the zone, the Observants would have to get involved for decision making, because of course, they had to shove their nonexistent noses on everything.

As anyone would have predicted, it was a goddamn pain to reach some kind of agreement when such uptight guys were involved. The halfa acknowledged that finding a place to these things was important but after two hours of debating back and forth over it, the situation was getting ridiculous.

Danny, being pretty annoyed already, had asked if they could just melt the damn things and be done with it.

The Observants nearly had a coronary.

Clockwork would have succeeded in looking chastising if he hadn’t been so busy trying to hide the smirk blooming in his face from witnessing the eyeballs’ ruffled distress.

They explained to him exactly why doing something like that was completely foolish, Phantom retorted that leaving two ancient artifacts of immeasurable power, and a psychotic slumbering ex-king in a creepy castle guarded by fear factor alone was fucking foolish.

The Observants countered saying that if the new high king would just fucking accept his position and wear them then they wouldn’t have to worry about the artifacts. Phantom disagreed in principle because the new high king would have to be as imbecile as the last one to let himself get possessed by a fucking ring.

The halfa dutifully ignored most of the implications thrown in that particular conversation.

Happiness belongs to the ignorant.

In the end, they had all acquiesced

A good thing, because Danny had been more than prepared to throw the tantrum of the century if any of them tried to get that goddamned cursed ring anywhere near his fingers, and there was no fucking way he was going to parade around wearing a fucking crown on fire — or otherwise—, he had an ice core for ancients’ sakes.

In the middle of the ghost-catfight, Danny had stated that he would only agree to use the damn artifacts as long as they found a way to get rid of the goddamn curse of the ring and make the gaudy crown less of a fire hazard.

The Observant sniffed pompously, saying that the notion of them not knowing how to do such a simple thing was ridiculous, Danny’s eye twitched as he sneered, because ‘Why the fuck haven’t you done it already then?’

The Observants shifted nervously. Danny sneered harder. Clockwork stopped trying to pretend he was not enjoying himself.

One of the Observants finally disclosed that the issue was not the knowledge but the power needed to pull off such a thing. With newer things, transferring powers from a thing to another was relatively easy. With millennia-old artifacts with such amount of power inside, though? Near impossible. Not even taking into account that the artifacts Danny wanted to ‘mess with’ were — however cursed — an ancient heritage of the Infinity Realms.

“Then we ask for help.” Phantom said curtly, crossing his arms over his chest.

This declaration resulted in a row of rapid blinking among the Observants. It was fucking weird to watch.

“Ask who for help, exactly?” Came the uneasy reply.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he drawled, pushing his hand through his already messy white hair and massaging his aching temple while he was at it.

“I think what Daniel is trying to say is,” Intervened ClockWork after letting Phantom loose on the Observants as long as he could get away with. The boy was a real wonder. “If we need power and permission to ‘ mess with the ancient heritage ’ then the better option would be to consult with the Kings and Queens of the Infinity Realms. Wouldn’t you agree?” the ghost of time finished sending a playful little smile to the ruffled Observants.

At the end of the day, all this chit chat resulted in the official formation of the High Council of the Infinity Realms.

For Danny, the best thing about this Council was that most of them, like him, had a bone to pick with the Observants.

Which didn’t mean that they agreed with him on everything he put forward, but it still makes him quite satisfied, all things considered.

Once established the first order of business had been, of course, dealing with the artifacts and Pariah.

Phantom suggested from the get-go stashing pariah into a more discreet, less flashy location than his previous castle, and transferring the powers of the ring and crown into new non-cursed-or-flaming-and-better-named jewelry.

These things had been a trademark of the ruthlessness of Pariah’s reign, after all.

Taking into account that all of the ghosts sovereigns had either been present for Pariah’s carnage or were more than aware of the repercussions it caused, it was not much of a surprise when it was an almost unanimous vote in favor of the notion. It would have to be discussed further to decide on the precise details, but for the most part that was the general sentiment.

The Observants had seethed for a while, but they couldn’t do more than resign themselves after the majority of the votes cast were in favor of a complete change.

They had still insisted on keeping a goddamn crown as mandatory, and he could have kept going with his bitching but Jazz had been trying to teach him how to pick his battles, and this one was not worth more of a sore throat.

All of this hassle because he wanted to give some homeless ghosts safe heaven into his previously non-existent lair.

Once done, with the artifacts and Pariah taken out of the keep, he realized some redecoration was in order before anyone lived in this place. He thought about asking ClockWork but decided to let him deal with the Council Shenanigans and went to bother the Ghost Writer instead.

The dude sure had some strong opinions on color schemes and furniture.

Danny shook himself out of his daydreaming, he had gotten carried away.

He put his pen down, taking advantage of the little break in writing to stretch his cramped limbs and back like a cat before looking over his chicken scrawl spread all over the journal’s pages.

If he dealt his cards well a single chat with the High Council and a visit to the castle would be more than enough to start the preparations.

Danny’s eyes zeroed in the last column of names he had written on the page.

That only left the more- mmh, particular cases.

He let his chin rest on the palm of his hand, releasing a low hum while a little smirk slowly made itself comfy on his features.

Now, for the fun part.

-.-.-.-

NOTES:

You might be wondering, “Did she just made Jazz the root of Danny’s obsession?” And the answer is yes. Yes, I did. -.-.-.-

Frostbite’s name in the Latin American (Or is it from Spain? Don’t know :v )dub is “Congelación” (which means ‘freezing’) and I don’t know how to fucking deal with that. It does not sound anywhere as cool as the original :’v

Maybe it’s because I’m not used to hearing “congelación” applied to something as awesome as a goddamn ghost yeti.

Or maybe not.

Who knows. -.-.-.-

I swear I’m trying to get these two to Gotham, but It feels like I’m dragging Danny there kicking and screaming. Which is- appropriate, I suppose. -.-.-.-

There would be more details of the High Council integrants later (I think?) and the dynamic I’m going to put here, not like you can’t guess some of them already *wink wink nudge nudge*

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shirokodomo · 3 years

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real name: hakudoshi / 白童子 / はくどうし

single or taken: verse dependent | taken in post-rebirth and white assassin (yakuza) verses

abilities or powers: as a demon born from naraku’s flesh, hakudoshi has several abilities and some of them are quite similar to those of his creator’s. he is capable of creating a powerful barrier which cannot be destroyed by inuyasha’s red tessaiga, using said barrier he is also capable of absorbing his opponent’s yoki based attacks and then redirect it back to them. like naraku, hakudoshi is capable of creating his own shoki (miasma) and of quickly regenerating his body right after it was destroyed, this is due to hakudoshi’s heart not being inside of his body therefore he could not die no matter how many times it was destroyed.

another of hakudoshi’s abilities is the telepathy, meaning that he is capable of reading other people’s minds like an open book; this can be prevented if someone with high spiritual power places a mental barrier around their mind. aside from this, he is also capable of telekinesis, with which he is able to move objects with his mind but he is not capable of doing that with really heavy things (demon heads, boulders, etc); hakudoshi can teleport himself and others to several places through the use of portals.

hakudoshi possesses a naginata as a weapon but it does not have any special abilities; despite it being taller than himself, hakudoshi mastered the use of this weapon with ease and often uses it to behead his targets.

after being reborn into a new body, hakudoshi retained most of these abilities aside from the shoki and the instant regeneration, as a demon he is still able to heal himself but it takes hours or even days depending on the size of the wound like other demons. the color of his barrier also changes, instead of being purple in color it is now blue and is not as powerful as the ones he used to be able to create, meaning that this barrier can be destroyed by inuyasha’s red tessaiga.

eye colour: violet

hair colour: rose white

family members: verse dependent

canon verse | naraku (creator/progenitor); kanna (“eldest sister”); kagura (“older sister”); goshinki (“eldest brother”); juromaru (“older brother”); kageromaru (“older brother”); muso (“older brother”); the infant (counterpart/brother); byakuya (“younger brother”). ps.: this hakudoshi does not view the incarnations as his true siblings, aside from the infant, nor views naraku as his father.

modern verse | naraku (father); kikyo (mother)

son of the phoenix verse | hua mulan (adoptive mother); hua zhou (adoptive grandfather); hua li (adoptive grandmother); hua xiu (adoptive aunt)

post-rebirth verse | kohaku (lover); rin (lover); uri (“son”); nadeshiko (“daughter”); shinju (“son”); sumire (biological daughter); mizuki (adopted son)

white assassin verse | kaori makai (mother); shintaro makai (father); akago makai (younger brother); umeko fukuhara (maternal aunt)

pets: not really a pet but entei, a horse demon, is his companion for quite sometime

something they don’t like: being compared to kagura (canon verse)

hobbies/activities: none

ever hurt anyone before: yes, both physically and mentally. physically he has hurt and even killed many, it was part of his job and never felt regret about it; mentally he has hurt people like kagome and kagura with his mind games and playing with the darkness in their hearts.

animal that represents them: fox, because of his cunning and trickster nature. when he is brought back to life, fox demon flesh is used to construct his main body.

worst habits: mocking those he believes are inferior to him but in reality are not. hakudoshi has got a really big ego and believes himself to be invincible because he cannot die (through physical attacks), this ended up being his literal death making him careless about any other possibilities that could actually kill him. When he is brought back to life and after recovering his memories, he becomes more conscious of this habit and tries to change it, he doesn’t become humble but he no longer believes himself to be far superior to others.

role models: verse dependent

canon verse | hakudoshi has no role models, he believes himself to be his own master and therefore he is his “own” role model.

son of the phoenix verse | his role model is without a single doubt his adoptive mother, he respects, loves and wishes to be just like her.

demon mage verse | though he won’t admit it out loud, his role model is erza scarlet, the way she led the rebellion inside the tower of heaven and the way she now leads fairy tail are forever imprinted in his mind.

white assassin verse | koga is his role model in this verse, he taught him everything he knows. koga treats hakudoshi like his protegee and even as his son to some degree, hakudoshi sees koga as his mentor and despite everything they through, he doesn’t mind looking after him and kagura; they are the closest he has to a real family.

sexual orientation: demiromantic

thoughts on marriage/kids: verse dependent.

canon verse | said things are trivial to him, he doesn’t care or spares his thoughts on it.

son of the phoenix verse | it’s not something he thinks very often but as he grows, he finds himself thinking if there is anyone out there that might come to love him the same way his adoptive grandparents and adoptive parents love each other.

post-rebirth verse | despite having been given a second chance in life, one that he promptly grabbed with all his strength to the point of changing most of the way he used to be, hakudoshi never thought he would actually find what humans like to call ‘love’, let alone thinking of children of his own (the only organ he has inside his body is a heart, therefore he cannot reproduce the ‘normal way’). that changed when his interactions with both kohaku and rin slowly intensified; initially he didn’t think a relationship between a demon and humans could actually work until they proved him wrong. through demon ways (mating) he is married to both but when referring them to others he will only refer the term ‘husband’, ‘wife’ or even ‘lover’ to those who know about their relationship; otherwise it is just ‘kohaku’ or ‘rin’, this is mostly to protect them. regarding children, he is extremely awkward with them especially when they are babies (he internally panics if a crying baby is placed in his arms, he is not capable of reading a baby’s thoughts). He cares about kohaku’s and rin’s children but doesn’t have them calling him ‘father’ or any other fatherly terms, though he also doesn’t correct them if they do so. when sumire was born (she was conceived via linking his demonic energy with rin’s human energy), he actually cried for the first time in his entire life though at first he wasn’t even aware of that.

modern days verse | hakudoshi has quite negative thoughts of both marriage and children born inside said marriage. because of what he saw happen with his parents, it made him view marriage as something unhappy and therefore any children born from it is automatically unhappy as well. he doesn’t think happiness can be achieved through marriage or any relationship in general.

white assassin verse | as a small child, hakudoshi witnessed the love and respect his parents held for one another and the way they acted with him and his little brother but even so it never really made him think of wanting something similar. after the death of his parents and the abuses he went through at the hands of his maternal aunt, hakudoshi very much stopped thinking of love in general, it stopped existing for him. That changed when his relationship with rin began growing into something different, at first he couldn’t explain why but he knew he viewed her differently from the other women he had been with (though he had only been with them in a physical way); he found comfort in her the same way she did in him. he wants to give her everything she desires. marrying her is a wish for the future that he is unsure they will have. children is a maybe but he doesn’t want them in this kind of life.

style preferences: in several verses, hakudoshi’s favorite color is without a doubt white and he very much prefers rich fabrics, he won’t wear just anything; he likes to wear practical clothing that doesn’t hold him back in his missions. funny enough, in his modern verses, hakudoshi wears dark clothing.

approach to friendships: he is never the one to approach nor is he easy to approach in that regard, he doesn’t really give the friendly vibe not even after being reborn. he slowly comes to care about those who are closer to him though chances are he won’t say it out loud; in his modern verse he doesn’t easily trust others so friendships with hakudoshi are even harder to happen.

thoughts on pie: he never tried pie before.

favourite drink: mostly tea.

favourite place to spend time at: mountains, forest or the training camps.

swim in the lake or in the ocean: lake.

their type: he doesn’t really put much thought in what his type is especially when his mind isn’t focused in that kind of stuff; he is more for the strong bond or connection first before those kind of feelings even start to develop, he doesn’t actively seeks for that bond.

camping or indoors: no preference.

tagged by: @senpujin (ty emma! <3)

#dash games #About Muse #About Hakudoshi

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amwritingmeta · 4 years

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Hello. I don't know if you already made something about it but I wanted to know what is your opinion on Cas/Chuck relation. We saw a lot about Cas loosing his faith in Chuck for a long time now but very little on Chuck's part. I feel like I'm missing something, some sort of closure. Am I the only one?

Hello, my dearling!

I have talked about Cas’ relationship with Chuck, but I do believe it was ages ago, and well before we got Chuck as the Big Bad, so let’s revisit! *fun!!*

The thing about this is that I feel there’s a pattern with them that has everything to do with the “disposable” line fed to Cas in S11. For Cas to believe himself disposable, he can’t have his father figure acknowledge him, which is why they didn’t exchange a word (and barely a glance) once the end of S11 rolled around.

Add to that the fact that Cas, by S11, had already been so far removed from Heaven and had gotten so much closer to his own humanity and we see how there’s even more reason for why there wouldn’t be a scene between them. We got Lucifer confronting Chuck instead, and I would say there were a lot of Cas’ frustrations with his father baked into Lucifer’s.

Headcanon would be that Cas also had his eyes fully opened to the darker sides of his father’s nature via Luci’s knowledge of Chuck’s motivations: to be worshipped.

Cas didn’t entirely embrace this knowledge, didn’t entirely believe it, not even when AU!Michael brought the darker sides into the light, underlining their creator’s nonchalance and casual cruelty. It wasn’t until Chuck’s sadistic side finally and truly revealed itself that Cas saw God for what he truly is, and by then Cas had already confronted and beaten back his own Shadow figure enough for him to have no need to personally confront this one.

Chuck killed Jack, but Cas has no drive - not like Dean does - to see Chuck dead over it. Cas holds no vendetta, and he’s clear-eyed enough to see the journey he’s undertaken as the root of his personal growth, not merely an expression of Chuck’s manipulations, providing a beautiful and necessary contrast to how Dean is entertaining an opposite view in that he feels as though all his choices have been pointless and all the pain and suffering has been pushed on him for nothing, and he can’t reconcile himself with the idea that this is only a half-truth, and one that he’s actively choosing to believe in. *gah dean gah!* *because the POV you need to reach through your inner work is the POV that Cas has held ever since Chuck’s true nature was revealed!!* *gah!!*

Now, the transition of Dean as Cas’ marker for humanity, to Cas becoming the marker for humanity for Jack has happened gradually, ever since the beginning of S13, but I do believe the transition is complete. After Cas’ speech in 15x15 it’s hard to think otherwise.

Cas knows who he is, where he belongs, and what he must do: find another way. So that he can save Jack.

Cas is stepping into his core trait of acting the shield, rather than playing the role of weapon, showing internal balance and a connection to his own priorities that is utterly thrilling!

Sure, it more or less tells us that there’s no narrative need for human!Cas and, hey, as much as I’ve always wished for that to be what the narrative has been driving him towards, he’s still more human now than he ever was. So he’ll live forever and watch Dean and Sam die and have to go chill with them in their Heavens, so what? That’s fiiiiiiine.

No, really, as long as they end up not dead, it’s fine.

And I get the strong sense they might not. End up dead. *yay!* I mean, it’s perfectly clear that Dean and Sam will live to fight another day, what with Jensen mentioning the possible probability of bringing the boys back for a six episode smashravaganza in five years or so. But what I mean is: they may not all of them end up dead. Even Jack might live! *happy days!* They might also not all end up together but that’s for other meta to speculate on! I’m more hopeful than ever that we’ll get a balanced ending, though. *g a h*

Anyway: Chuck.

I understand where you’re coming from 100%, but personally I don’t feel the need for there to be an exchange to cap off Cas’ relationship with Chuck, because of all the above mentioned reasons. Make sense?

Chuck isn’t really figuring that hard in Cas’ progression right now, apart from how he’s affecting Jack.

Cas has already let go of his earlier need for his father figure to act as a role model. “Because God commanded it” is a long, long time ago. “Give me a sign” is as well. Cas is well beyond these stages of internal confusion. And Chuck the Big Bad, as said, holds no real sway over Cas’ choices anymore. Chuck’s words and deeds no longer serve to inform anything that Cas does, apart from acting as a spur for action, for thinking outside of the box, for tapping into his protectiveness and healthy father figure traits in order to act as a guide to his own son.

In Dean’s progression, however, Chuck is now the ultimate Shadow figure, embodying the final last push for Dean to truly confront himself, look himself in the eye, and let go of the self-hatred, fear and faithlessness. Let go of his need for control and start trusting. Trusting that, in spite of everything, good things do happen and good things can last. If you let yourself feel how much you want them. If you go for it without holding yourself back.

Come on, Dean!!

And this is my reading of this narrative so pinches of salt, but with Jack as representative of Dean’s inner child, it feels pretty bleak if he were to die. And though I can take the Shadow (Chuck) needing to be symbolically eradicated, I remain skeptical, because destruction is not integration... Anyway, more on this in upcoming metas!

I’ll leave you with this: I’m intrigued by how the narrative - which technically means Chuck - has always treated Cas as a secondary character, even though it’s perfectly clear that he’s integral to the growth of Dean, and by proximity Sam as well. Cas now stepping in to find this other way makes sense to me, because I do believe if an unforeseen blow is to be dealt to Chuck, it should come from Cas, whom he’s always sort of overlooked. Even when sitting down to write his ending at Becky’s desk, there’s the Sam and Dean Poppies, yeah? As are two feathers. Sam and Dean presides, as ever, at the forefront, but those feathers, for those of us who love them, are hard to miss.

I hope that answers your question! Bit of spec in there too, but I’m in a speculative mood as I finally watched 15x15 and 15x16 back-to-back last night and oh boy the old cogs are a-turning. :)

Hope you’re well, lovely!

#answered asks #chuck #cas #jack #dean #jung #shadow #inner child #integration #self-actualisation #internal balance #spectacular views

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insfiringyou · 4 years

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In your answer about feminism days ago, you've said that each one of the girls have feminist traits in their personalities. What you'd considser to be those traits and how each one incorporate that in their lives?

Hi, thanks for your question. We have thought of some ideas below, but also I am sure our readers will also have their own opinions and might be able to make some good points too. You can find out more about our girlfriends here.

* just a quick disclaimer that the answer below discusses issues that may be triggering regarding sexual abuse and women’s issues*

I think Cassandra and Ji-eun would be the most ‘vocal’ about labeling themselves as feminists. For Ji-eun, she definitely sees herself as very career driven and as struggling in a male-dominated environment. I think a lot of her focus comes from being denied an education by her first husband who did not want her to go to Law school, having quite traditional parents and also witnessing first hand the pressure that women are under to get married and have children young. It is something she still struggles with at present, since she both wants to settle down and start a family, but also wants to be at the top of her game career-wise, and unfortunately that internal debate causes her to be quite jealous and mean-spirited towards other women, which obviously goes against what (we believe) feminism should be about, but also makes her very human. We also think she would struggle to find a lot of support and sympathy in other women around her, especially as she’s physically very attractive and has had some surgery (such as her boob job), which makes her quite lonely. In a way, we consider it similar to the recent comments by actress Megan Fox who said that she’s a feminist, but that other feminists don’t want her in their club.

Cassandra fundamentally is very liberal and accepting and likewise is very career-driven, which makes her decision to have a baby all the more harder (since we think her acting roles would, unfortunately, dry up once she had a baby, and it would be hard to juggle that kind of lifestyle while being a single mother). She’s someone who grew up with academic parents in a really cultural part of Europe, and therefore has grown to have quite socialist political views, and also is a supporter of LGBTQ+ and women’s rights as well as feminist issues. She’d probably be the first person to start a fundraiser or create art to support women’s charities such as period projects in third world countries. I also do think she’s inherently kind and supportive of other women, but also I imagine someone who within Korean society would be looked down on by a lot of more ‘traditional’ men and women. While she’s mildly successful within her own niche, we do see her as living on the fringes of society, and unfortunately going forward as a young single mother, would come across a lot of stigma. While it’s not necessarily explicitly said within our fics, we do think she has been sexually assaulted in the past before meeting Taehyung in ‘casting couch’ type scenarios early in her acting career, and while I think she has buried a lot of that to the back of her mind, or tried to justify it somehow, she’s also really determined not to let anyone do that to her again. This I think does show in her strong sense of independence and not wanting to raise a child in an environment that would be unhealthy.

Min-seo is someone who we don’t necessarily think would consider herself a ‘feminist’, but I think that’s more because she’s not necessarily been in a situation where she has had to think that through. In a lot of ways, she has been fortunate in having quite a sheltered upbringing and not having to have faced the types of issues that might make someone consider ‘feminism’, However, we do think she’s one of the most supportive characters in terms of other women. She tries to see the best in everybody and we also think she’d recognise the freedom for women to do what they want with their bodies.

Jeong-sun we think was raised in quite a ‘hands-off’ way by her parents, and her mother, in particular, is quite liberal and adventurous which has made her not really want to conform or rely on other people too much. If asked, she would probably consider herself a feminist, and values her own identity over becoming a perfect wife/mother. We think it shows in the brief mentions of her dating the accountant, who was a little more traditional in his dating techniques and in what he expected from her than Yoongi, that in that relationship she did not feel like herself and was uncomfortable - fearing that if she stayed with him she would be trapped into that lifestyle. She’s definitely someone who believes in women’s rights and the importance of being educated as well as being as financially independent as she can. She enjoys being able to buy drinks for Yoongi and would always offer to pay when on dates. For what it’s worth, we see Yoongi as being the most ‘feminist’ among the boys.

Nana is also someone who really values the importance of education and independence. Before meeting Hoseok, she was quite happy in her single life and while she had some insecurities about her body, isn’t someone who would conform to make someone happy. She’s completely herself at all times and would consider everyone equal, regardless of protected characteristics.

Ara on the surface does conform a little more to the Korean ideal, as in physically she dresses ‘cute’ and has had some minor surgery, but we do think she’s had her own struggles and hardships - especially relating to bullying, her learning disability and having a terminally ill mother, which has played on her insecurities about herself. Her own sense of identity at the start of the storyline is quite low which we think partially is to do with not having a lot of time to focus on herself when she was young. She had the pressure of having to help her father bring up her younger brother, as well as no longer having the role model figure of her mother in her life. We do think, as the story progresses, she’s slowly becoming more independent from Jimin and gaining a stronger sense of who she is and what she wants from life, which is going to be an upcoming topic within their storyline, as well as being more career-driven as her work as an Idol takes off. While it’s not necessarily related directly to feminism, we do also think she is bisexual, which we have tried to slot into a few of our fics but could never find the right time to bring it up.

Young-soon does feel some pressure to conform to Korean standards (both in terms of her looks/body and also in her choice of jobs - she doesn’t for example, strive for promotions at work), but also does enjoy having her own independence to a point. We do think she’s quite aware of women’s issues and would be supportive of other women and believe in equal rights (probably teaching Jungkook a thing or two about this along the way), but doesn’t necessarily relate it to her own life. We do think she worries about what other people think of her, especially in dating someone younger, but also isn’t overly concerned about getting married young. We don’t necessarily think her parents want her to rush into marriage, and they actively disliked her boyfriend before Jungkook.

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diveronarpg · 5 years

Photo

Congratulations, NAY! You’ve been accepted for the role of CRESSIDA with an FC change to Bree Kish. Admin Rosey: I am absolutely shrieking over the fact that we have our beloved, ferocious Celeste back in the group! You have taken the character that has been presented and added a number of layers to her that makes her so completely and utterly unique in her own right. The potential future that you have built up for her has me completely over the moon and there is nothing I am more excited for than to watch her grow -- or fail. Regardless, I’m ready for Celeste to kick ass! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Nay.

Age | Twenty-one & I shall smut plenty, thank you very much.

Preferred Pronouns | she/her.

Activity Level | Active enough? I don’t apply for characters I’m not stupid in love with, so I’ll truly want to explore them every chance I get and activity doesn’t have a chance of being an issue. I’d hedge a bet on being a pretty solid 7 out of 10, allowing for when I’m just too tired for my brain to function to produce any measure of eloquence~

Timezone | GMT+5.

How did you find the RP? | I signed away my soul to it, oops.

Current/Past RP Accounts | I’ve never RP’ed a day before in my life… what are you talking about…?

IN CHARACTER

Character | CRESSIDA / Celeste Duval

{ NOTE: I’d really like to keep the FC change to Bree Kish, please. There’s just something about the red hair that really fits who I see Celeste as! }

What drew you to this character? | Have I told you how much I love this question? Because I love this question so much. It’s my favourite portion of the application: this opportunity to really go into actual detail about what it is about a particular character that gets you hooked. I so deeply enjoy the way it’s such a particular answer for every character—at least for me—that is very singularly attached to that one character, absolutely due to the fact that there is always a moment where I can’t resist it, whatever it is, the idea in my head or the skeleton, or long-paragraphed biography, or aesthetic concept.

With Celeste, it was empathy, to be completely honest with you. A part of me was already itching to sink my teeth into another character (and let’s just call that a testament to how quickly this group has restored the pleasure of this process for me) and I knew I wanted it to either be someone neutral, or a Montague – but I wasn’t expecting to casually, half-asleep, peruse through a biography & have to sit up in bed, electrified by a ZING! of connection. Let’s call that love at first sight. That’s what drew me to her. I read that biography, and my brain supplied a stanza from Plath’s Lady Lazarus: “Out of the ash / I rise with my red hair / And I eat men like air.”

But that’s a pretty brief cop-out of an answer, isn’t it? So I’ll at least tell you the many things about her that I am so in love with. I’ll tell you the way I love what a woman she is. I love her ferocity, and I love her humanness – which, I do want to clarify, isn’t necessarily not ferocious. I see Celeste as quite the discombobulation of aspects & emotions. When I speak of humanness, I mean that I love how vividly alive she is, and so intensely open to more classically tender feelings of adoration and hurt and sadness, yes, but also the more classically harsh emotions such as jealousy, and anger, and pettiness. I love her willpower, the sheer force of it that has tided her through so much of her life, and how it clashes with that very relatable, very painful internal need to be enough for our parents, to be accepted & loved by them, no matter how much you claim that you can do (and have been doing) without. I love what a sexy, confident, sassy, badass feminist she is. I see her as being extremely sexy, and 90% of that is how confident and unapologetic she is about taking up space. I genuinely just love what she represents.

And I want to be the one who develops her, with an integration of nuances that make her more than just a bold representation, and unravels a story that this wonderful, special baby deserves.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | As always, this is prefaced with the disclaimer that these are all subject to change, and merely ideas to build off of & give a vibe for the things I’d like to do with this super dynamic character.

→ ONE. The first thing has to be the plotline with Easton. Oh, wow – she wants to slice him like cheese, my friends. I would really like to explore her playing with that, because I think the connection in her biography says plenty: she will exact revenge. Now, I could see this playing out in many, many ways, honestly, but my favourite one is her using Easton’s game against him. He wants to make her feel powerless? Well, Celeste Duval is very, very well-versed in making men feel powerful, when it’s really her who is running the show. I see her, by sheer power of will, being one of those people who gets shit done, and she’s exceptionally clever, or she wouldn’t have made it this far in life with so many odds against her from the get-go. That plotline is something I’m absolutely dying to play around with, because I truly believe that it can be what builds her up or it can be what ultimately undoes her.

→ TWO. This marriage between her & Tomas is absolutely fascinating to me. I very much believe Celeste to be one of those all or nothing! kind of people, and with Tomas, though she feels nothing, it is a relationship that has a very gravitational pull on so many other aspects of her life. It is a representation of the sacrifice she made for parents who have never treated her to a modicum of parental affection, who she swears up & down don’t matter, and still, infuriatingly, very much do. It is a roadblock to a happy ending with a person who Celeste reveres, who is the love of her life and the centre of her universe and the only3 time in her life she’s felt like she is home. I really want to toy with that; I want to see how far Celeste can pull this off before this man can tell that she is not, and never will be, in love with him. I want to see if she’ll get to a point where she won’t even bother to pretend anymore. I want to see the dynamic of their marriage. And I’ll admit – I want him to find out that she has very much not been faithful to him, and then I want to see where she takes that truth.

→ THREE. I would really like to see Celeste reach a place of peace where her parents are concerned. I want to take her on a journey that makes her let go of them, and for her to find love, specifically familial love, in some corner that shows her what that sort of relationship is truly supposed to be. This is because I have this sneaking suspicion that this huge leap could make a sincerely positive wave, and the ripples would spread out to the other areas of her life. Celeste is a very dynamic character, and an extremely emotional one, and I can see her interpersonal relationships having an extreme impact on the direction/mind-set she opts for.

→ FOUR. On a less wholesome note, though, I want to see her choices challenge her relationship with Isabella, too. I want to explore this love of theirs – and I want to stretch Celeste thin about it, making her choose between her reputation, her misplaced sense of duty to her parents, her pragmatism & ambitions, and weigh them against this person she never planned to meet or love. I don’t think there is anything in the world that is more precious to Celeste than what is between herself & Isabella; I don’t think there is anything more sacred. I want to see the lengths she will go to protect it. I want to see what she would sacrifice for it, how much of who she decided she would be she can let go of, how brave she can be, how it can cause her to grow.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Maybe…

IN DEPTH

IN-CHARACTER INTERVIEW:

What is your favourite place in Verona?

By Isabella’s side, she knows, immediate and sure. There's no question about it. The location did not matter; a graze of her fingertips could make a church feel like it was made for sinning, a classroom for falling in love, a street for an exchange of the most intimate of secrets. There is no pause for contemplation. There is no need for questions.

Her smile is a secret — and privately, reverently, Celeste promises to keep it. Her shoulders lift in a careless shrug. “I don't favour places,” she smirks around the unabashed words. “I let them favour me.”

What does your typical day look like?

“Mmm,” the sound is soft, but never makes it to sweet. Gloss coats her mouth thickly, and it has nothing on the syrup drizzle of her words: “I detest the idea of typical. That was never the life I wanted to lead; routine makes me restless, and being restless makes me dangerous. Hasn't anyone told you about cornering animals? Doesn't end well.” And this once, it is not a lie. This is not surprising. There were many things that Celeste Duval could lie about, do it without so much as blinking twice – that was, all those except for those she cared not to.

This was a part of herself she chose not to sacrifice. Celeste refused to be bored. As her much-adored Zelda Fitzgerald had once written, it was chiefly because she wasn't boring.

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

“How much time do you have?” she asks, wryly. The arch of Celeste's brows is sharp, caught between something caustic & amused. It isn't funny – and somehow, that nearly earns a snort of laughter from her. Was her whole life not one? She had been one every day of her life, become who she has because of it. A girl, pretty & useless; only an accessory or tool or toy.

Wasn't marrying Tomas? As if she cared enough for it to be a contender. Was giving her heart up, losing any will to fight off how easy it was to belong to Isabella? Not being careful enough, being caught by the Craven runt? Perhaps not slitting every Capulet bastard's fucking throat on her way out of the cage they put her in?

Her laugh is poisonous. “There aren't enough hours in the world, mon chou.”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

“Tasks are not asked of me. They are given; synonymous with an order. There is no second or third option; there is no no's or fucking maybes,” the words had all the potential to be serrated, cutting through the poor wretch they were flung at, unflinching. Somehow, they come out patient. Solemn.

She leaves the answer at that, without truly giving one. Why would she? A lifetime's worth of being deemed weak, and there was a desire for an open admittance of it? HA! Celeste would be damned seven ways to Sunday before she fell for that. “Difficult is a subjective term. I fulfill my tasks; I rise to all challenges – and then, I conqueror them. That is the script I've penned for myself. Learn it.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

Capulets. Oh, the very word sets her aflame. It's enough to have her fists curling to white-knuckled bundles at her sides, quivering. Is she meant to forget how they took her, kept her as their little prisoner? Is she meant to forget the way Easton Craven uses the brightest thing she has ever known to solicit dark betrayal from her – using her, just like them, like she was a toy?

“There is one acceptable ending. The streets can run red with their blood. I only hope to contribute to the spillage.” She does not blink.

Extras:

– pinterest board;

– headcanons:

Due to her mother being French, she was raised on a multilingual education. Celeste is, therefore, fluent in English, Italian & French – though, she automatically reverts to French cooing in situations calling for tenderness, and filthy, crude-mouthed Italian when she is angry.

Once, on her way home, Celeste was halted by a distinct, pitiful mewling sound from beneath a stairwell. A scrappy, runt of the litter, left abandoned, came home with her that day. She calls him Victor – after Victor Hugo.

There is no text in the world that Celeste Duval adores with the intensity she does the Les Misérables novels. Already, she has large chunks of it memorized, and it is not enough to keep her from curling up in a bathtub with one at the end of a hard day.

There’s very little in the world that a hot bath can’t make her feel at least a fraction better about. She spends entirely too much money on bath-bombs.

She deeply, deeply dislikes children. She has zero tolerance for their shenanigans, no thank you.

Though she is categorically partial to jewellery in general, she has an affinity for anklets in particular. It is very rare to see her without one wound around an ankle, typically her left one.

She enjoys a nice trashy tabloid with her breakfast, but she’ll watch some news after a raunchy round of sex.

Celeste thinks about quitting smoking at least once a day. The better half of a decade into the nasty habit, and she has yet to go through with it.

The one part of herself she was insecure about growing up, and the one part she is astonishingly vain about in adulthood is the same: her hair. She cares for it meticulously, for all that it is always in a very deliberate state of dishevelment.

She has an awful, awful nail-biting habit.

#accepted #accepted: cressida

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phantomphangphucker · 5 years

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One Lonely Star

Chapter 1 - Star Fall Down

Chapter 2 - Just A Little Lost

Chapter 3 - An Apple For The Fairest

Chapter 4 - The Day The Stars Ate My Heart

Summary: Melting Down Hope

Mother brought me something today. It’s a core connector prod. I can tell it was meant to hurt ghosts, everything with her is like that. But I see the potential immediately. It can convert internal core energy into a massive explosion of external energy. This, connected to what I’ve already built might do something. My core is strong, very strong, the energy burst I could make would be unrivalled. I do not know if my ice could combat the lighting and explosions of the stars but, maybe just maybe, this could work. Even if it only worked on one, or could only damage it a little; it would be progress.

With that I tinker away, giving her a curt nod in thanks. She shakes her head at the thanks and puts her head down, body stiff and fists clenched. It’s the pose of a child pleading for forgiveness. But it’s unneeded, I forgave her before she ever did anything that needed forgiveness. I simply pat her arm to let her know that, a soft smile playing across my face. She just stares at me in shock and walks away, shaking tears from her eyes. I know my pat was not enough, she wants me to be angry, to yell. I know that’s what she would do if the roles were reversed and she knows it too. That doesn’t matter though, I’m not mad, I’m not even disappointed; I expected it. I knew it would happen someday, I accepted that fact a long time ago. So I’d rather she not worry about it, all is forgiven. But even with her new view of this half of me, things can’t change; it’s too late. I, no we, ran out of time for a heart-to-heart, for complete openness, ages ago. At one time I could have told her, maybe I should have, but I didn’t. I kept my secret to keep her and many others safe, that’s my job. So I’m still not going to tell her, it would break her and honestly; her son has been gone for a long time. Lost to the role of a hero. A role chosen, given, created, needed. Did he ever really have a choice?

That’s the thing with life, with this kind of life. It just happens, it’s random. Some random kid in some random town living some random life. A call comes and things change. Everything changes, it always does. Imagine if it didn’t? Where would we all be now? Because my call, it both damned me and saved me; in so many ways. It’s done the same for so many others as well.

My existence didn’t cause the fall, I know that. I’d take the blame if asked though, and I have. But if I wasn’t exactly as I am now, I would be dead. Maybe there’d be someone else to do the tinkering, to bare burdens, to be the hero. But I’d rather not take that chance. Especially considering I haven’t seen nor heard of anyone else doing what I am. Sure the only other ever like me tried, but it was rooted in selfishness not heroism; and he failed in a very permanent way. So it’s just me, which is why I can’t stop, can’t wait, can’t change. I must keep working, always. Even if there’s no one left to save. I hope that never comes to pass. But if it does, if I’m all that’s left, I’ll just keep going. I have to, it’s all I know, and maybe someday new life would come. I’d make sure to be there to protect that new life, even if every second I existed caused me nothing but pain. I’d watch over every single damn one. I’d scream and shout for them to grow strong, for them to fight for survival, for them to just live. No matter what I had to give to do it.

With so much in mind I tinker away, pulling things here, putting things there. I know I look like something crazed, the way I feverishly tinker. In some way I think my parents would be proud, me being a little inventor. Sometimes I used to bother with names, but names get you attached to things. I can’t afford that, if it doesn’t work I have to disassemble and try something new. Attachment makes doing that hard, while I’m willing to bare any hardship; I’d prefer to not place completely avoidable ones on myself. I sure there’s only so much weight I can carry before everything just gives out. I worry, as I come to a finish with my tinkering, that I’m already starting to give out. I always overestimate my own power. Which I shouldn’t do but I have to truly believe I can take it all. Otherwise, I might avoid taking some; and I can’t do that. Plus I hear belief is a powerful thing, it can change everything. If I believe strongly enough that I can bare it all, that I can save it all, that I can be the hero; then eventually, I will. I have to. And if every part of me breaks in the process then that’s ok.

Staring down at the trinket, which I’ve done all I know I can to. I choose to rise. It looks dangerous and cruel attached to my chest, but to me it looks like hope. Like an apple. The others notice my stand but they also notice my damaged body. They move to help me walk to where we all know I’m going. But I don’t need the help, I don’t need the protection, I don’t need to be saved; not yet. So I stand as firm as I can and make sure I look even firmer. I wave them off and shake my head. A couple look at me with awe, some with pity, and others with reverence. But through all the looks I can see the underlining mixture of sadness and determination. Here I am faced with a group who won’t lie down, they’ll keep going and I know that even if I fail; they’ll try to survive on. They’ll drag me back and push me to try again, and if I can’t they’ll wait for me till I can. I refuse the idea that my possible inability to continue my work will ever be permanent. I will violate and destroy every natural law if I have to, why not? I’ve already violated at least one. And being in an ongoing state of being both dead and alive has to be the biggest break to natural laws out there. So the rest can’t be too hard.

And now with the new updated trinket, I look out to the surface land; filled with stars of death. These people all know what I’m trying to do now. They’re every look screams “Be the hero”. They show it with body language too, as they each in turn place a hand on my shoulder piece; right on the words. They wish me silent luck and wish the world silent luck through these permanently inked words. I turn my back on the on looking humans, those I must protect, as I walk with defiance towards this, the biggest star. With every step I scream inside my mind, I will keep trying! I won’t stop working! Can or can’t be damned! Possible or impossible be damned! I may love the stars but these stars need to be destroyed.

Activating the trinket I know it’s doing something. What? I don’t know, not yet, but it’s something. All I can do is hope it’s good. The temperature plummets and I can tell the natural moisture in the air near me has turned to ice. I always found it beautiful, the ice, all the forms it can take and how the light passes through it. My core has always been dear to me because of this, with it I can create beauty. Beauty makes people feel happy and safe, no matter where or who they are. So I don’t mind when my core makes itself known, I didn’t mind back then and I don’t mind now. As the blue glow of my core grows stronger than ever and pulses out over my skin, it’s power reverberates in the air when suddenly I see a grand collision of pure energy.

Barriers swirl and clash, two worlds melding into each other in grand fashion. I feel terrified for the years of work that will have to be put into achieving unity between the two sides. I can see the hate writhing on both ends, while I exist in the middle. I bring a light hand to my chest and close my eyes, if only for a second. With myself tapped so truly into my core I can feel it all, all of both sides. The hurt and the pain the fall has caused, is still causing. All the loss. It’s so very much. But I’ll take it, I’ll take all of it, give it to me.

I open my eyes to the sight before me, for the first time I truly see, fully see. The waves, maps, sparks and flames that tie my two worlds to each other. Though I am raked by pain, grief and weakness; I feel overwhelming love and protection. These feelings aren’t for myself but rather every creature, everyone gone, everyone still here, and everyone yet to come. Humans. Ghosts. And everything in between.

I look to these “stars”, these poisons I once loved; the idea of them I still do love, but not in this form. These stars are tainting everything, destroying it with their vaporizing lightning and poisoned fire.

And so for the first time in a long time I just stand and I truly look around, sense and feel. Every spark, wave and flame of both my worlds. The interconnectedness of it all and how it’s still so separate. I sense my core within me, every part of my damaged body, and finally, my very being. I understand now. I get how this will go, how it will work. And it will work. It has to and I have to do it. I promised I’d always be the hero. I promised I belonged to them, to everyone else. I promised I’d grin and bare it. I promised I would keep working till it was done. I promised I’d find a way. I promised my everything. And here, now, that’s what I’ll damn well give. I never break a promise. Not then, not now, not ever. I would say not in the future, but that’s not applicable anymore.

I know now and with that knowledge I look to the faces, all the faces that exist on each side. A man of clocks watches through a portal crying as he looks to the soon coming future. A crowned Yeti bows his head, leading his people to follow suit. A mother’s eyes wide with shock and horror, underneath it lies regret. A bearded man squeezes his robotic arm tight. A sister, glowing brightly, looks on with pride.

And finally, I look to my own self. My core glowing so bright it envelops all of me in soft blue. My green eyes fierce and unwilling to bend. My smile is a mixture of happiness, sadness and pride. And with that last look to any sentient being I loft my head high and blast my cores energy across everything. Bathing the world in a wash of glowing blues and greens, as a mixture of crimson red and acid green bleeds through every pore and hole of my mortal body. Forming a grand pool beneath my floating form. Core energy, cold fire, consuming everything. Pieces of flesh fall away, turned to smoke and mist in the air. Eyes bubble and drip down my face, sliding over liquefying bone and fading away flesh. Bones and organs drip down, thickening the messy pool. But that too is billowing mist and being consumed into my energy. Chunks of hair fall off, turning black as they do before they too are consumed. All the while I smile, through it all I smile. Every kind of pain is mixed together in one brutal mass. Shocking, burning, crushing, breaking, drowning, choking, cutting, boiling; I smile. As a hero I will go, maybe a saviour too. I look back with unseeing eyes, with that soft smile playing across melting discarded bones and teeth. I’m numb to my senses know, so I know not how any onlookers feel. I hope I am not causing them pain and that is why I smile back. Because it’s ok, this is ok, it’s always been ok. My smile serves to let them know that. And with that, I feel myself go.

Slowly, as the great all-encompassing blue energy fades, a small ball of green light forms where there had once been a star of cruel white and a boy who was always the hero. A massive beam of green light shoots from the ground, through the sky and into empty space. Leaving behind only silence and darkness, as every single star burns out.

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belzinone · 5 years

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verses

This is a running list of all the verses I’ve written for bel. First are her fanon (canonical) verses, followed by modern, fantasy, crossover, other fandom verses, & lastly, her Wallflower verses (+ link to a more in-depth description of my concept). I’m more than happy to create a verse that is compatible with your muse, let it be giving her a new modern occupation or adapting her to your muse’s universe (if you’ll be patient with my learning ) However, I’ll be applying her to new universes selectively because I’m not a fan of everything nor do I always have the energy/patience to invest in it.

hello it’s mz. hyde . undetermined // verse

~FANON VERSES~

HELL IS FOR CHILDREN . underground child // verse

a bright, curious, cross-dressing child who goes by the name “bailey” & gets into more trouble than her mother & older brother can handle. in attempt to control her behavior, risa lets her stay with a trusted doctor in town (former colleague of her late father) & he starts teaching her basic medicine & biology (which quickly turns into epidemiology come the shiganshina outbreak). she proves gifted with the material, a trait she shared with her father.

BIRD IN THE CAGE . underground citizen // verse

past adolescence, a teenage bel selectively relents to the feminine gender role designated by her mother as the small Zinone family works towards building a large enough fortune to buy surface citizenship. she does her homemaking & continues to pursue her medical apprenticeship while at home & in the clinic, but occasionally dons drag to explore the rest of the city under her family’s nose. when her brother enlists in the scouting legion for a vast sum of money (to those in poverty), he takes the light behind her eyes with him.

SLAVE TO THE GRIND . shiganshina citizen // verse

a languid young adult who maintains a modest medical practice as well as helps with her mother’s homemaking business. she makes the occasional secret trip to scout hq to volunteer her medical expertise, where she momentarily rediscovers her lust for life.

TWIN ROSES . garrison soldier // verse

giving up on her dreams following the year 845 fall of wall maria, bel dons twin roses & secretly composes her plans for 3dmg modifications. she lives a quiet, uneventful yet peaceful life with her mother & squad members.

LA GUILLOTINA . sentenced to scout // verse

having lost the majority of her squad during the year 850 battle of trost & committed murder to defend her mother during the retreat, bel finds herself with a accolade she detests, but would decide her fate as she faces her sentence

& TO DEATH WE SAY ; NOT TODAY . medical officer // main verse

bel settles into the scouting regiment & lives out her dream of saving lives on the front lines. this verse leads up to the uprising arc.

FAMILIAR TASTE OF POISON . war criminal // verse

the uprising arc. forced to face the demons of her mother’s past as well as her legion being marked a criminal organization, she is also forced to come to terms with taking lives rather than saving them.

GRACE PERIOD . scout redemption // verse

this verse spans the time between the resolution of the uprising arc to her amputation. the scouts experience renewed glory as they return the rightful heir to the throne & prepare to reclaim shiganshina.

LA TRAVIATA . retiree // verse

soon before the return to shiganshina, bel loses her foot to the leader of the underground mafia & is forced to retire from her military service. she departs for the snowy mountains of the north to research titan spinal fluid.

alternatively, she’s crushed by a boulder during one of the preparatory expeditions & amputates her foot to save her life either single-handedly or with the help of another soldier, i.e. yours?

LA RESORTA . amputee // verse

bel hangs up her lab coat & returns to her soldiers, where she comes to rediscover is where her heart lies.

RED SWANSONG . postwar // verse

paradis is clear of titans & the world is free of war. bel retires her military service for good & continues to care for the remaining military veterans while mourning the fallen. she dreams of settling with a family at this time.

~fanon divergent verses~

FELINE TITAN . shifter // verse

bel reawakens with the memories of a former queen who once ruled humanity before Paradisian allocation. her 10 meter titan is skinless, spotted, & sports long claws. [aimless meta]

AS ABOVE SO BELOW . noble // verse

instead of being born in the underground to a poor homemaker, bel’s born in the sina capitol to a rich socialite. she nonetheless dreams of becoming a scout soldier & practicing medicine like her father.

~modern verses~

CODE BLACK . emergency responder // main verse

as used in los angeles county hospital, “an influx of patients so great, there aren’t enough resources to treat them.”

G. O. M. E. R. YOU P. I. T. A. nurse // verse

nurse slang for “get out of my emergency room, you pain in the ass”

LIONESS . mother // verse

bel becomes a mother, let it be via adoption or a fertility miracle.

SO CLOSE ; AND STILL SO FAR . medical tech // verse

bel leaves medical school & lands a less than satisfying job

GLORY AND GORE . clinical doctor // verse

a cutthroat doctor who rose to her status by playing the game of the social ladder.

PRETTY HUGE DICHOTOMY . medical student // verse

bel studying for her phd & finding a stark divide between clinical & the average life.

BETA EPSILON LAMBDA . undergraduate student // verse

although not part of a sorority, the lack of social life experienced by this iteration could very much use a pledge.

VAGABOND . homeless // verse

after dropping out of high school, bel leaves her family & takes to the streets, convinced that she is better off on her own. she makes a living through stealing, odd jobs, & street performing.

YOU LOVE ME FOR EVERYTHING YOU HATE ME FOR . escort // verse

bel engages in transactional sex to survive.

RED LIGHTS PAID SIGHTS . sex worker // verse

cam girl, stripper, exotic dancer, nude model: bel engages in all these things & more, finding comfort in sensual attention.

SICK INDIVIDUAL . high school student // verse

a rebellious young woman spends her days challenging authority inside & outside the classroom while maintaining grades reflective of her interests.

IF IT AIN’T BROKE; IMPROVE IT . mechanical engineer // verse

rather than pursue medicine, bel finds a rewarding career in her other passions.

IT’S SUPPOSED TO HURT . personal trainer // verse

bel makes a living out of training others to thrive.

BODY LANGUAGE . professional dancer // verse

she started out as a street dancer before making her way through club after club & finally landing a contract with mainstream talent. belly dancing, burlesque, & pole work are her go-to styles.

~fantasy verses~

ABERRANT APOTHECARY . witch // verse

a life witch or necromancer? this woman manipulates the energies of life to do her bidding.

SEIS SEIS SEIS . concubus // verse

unbound by position & generally unaffected by a thirst for intercourse, this nonbinary asexual demon finds thrills elsewhere.

DON’T FALL ASLEEP AT THE HELM . merfolk // verse

a rather terrifying as opposed to conventionally beautiful mermaid, bel passes her time defending her territory & rummaging through shipwrecks

conversely, she’s an obnoxiously colorful mermaid that makes an easy target for predators

HURT LIKE HELL WHEN I FELL . angel // verse

bel’s an angel much like those from cw’s supernatural sans the dryness

SINGED FEATHERS . caladrius // verse

this magical bird takes blight unto herself & flies into the sun like a phoenix, dispelling the plague & curing her benefactor. feathers naturally sprout from various parts of her body. she uses a cloaking spell to appear human, but she nonetheless sheds feathers.

~crossover verses~

ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE TRUE WORLD . the115project // crossover verse

Commander 115′s army lands in Paradis & brings a new battlefront to the island (original multiverse concept from the115project)

FELINE FAUNUS . rwby // crossover verse

the transition from Paradis to Remnant brings out cheetah-like characteristics similar to her titan form her aforementioned fanon divergent verse. human skin with full body markings, ears & a body-length tail with fur

~other fandom verses~

MITOTIC REGENERATION . naruto // verse

a failed student of a legendary shinobi & excommunicated from her clan, bel wanders the ninja world in search of a way to revive her fallen brother as a missing nin from tsukigakure. she specializes in poison art jutsu, is developing her own version of mitotic regeneration, & agnostically practices jashinism.

GOLD DUST WOMAN . rwby // verse

subject to the discrimination of being a faunus, bel finds herself a member of the White Fang but begins to question whether their endeavors are really what’s best for her kind. her semblence is life transfer & manipulation while her weapons are dual-wield blades similar to those from her snk verse.

I WANT TO BE CONNECTED . sarazanmai // verse

bel, a fresh Wallflower devotee, soon throws herself at the mercy of the otters to save her brother, a police officer who died on duty. as punishment, she’s made to keep an eye out for kappa activity but maintains a dual relationship with those duties alongside her obligations as a Wallflower agent. she keeps her loyalties to the otters blurred while seeking to protect the sara trio as an undercover school nurse.

FAIRY; WHERE ARE YOU GOING? . fairy tail // verse

bel’s a caster mage from the Wallflower dark guild & specializes in disease & organic link magic

GRAND DUCHESS . anastasia // verse

anastasia (1997 film) plot inspired

FACE DOWN IN THE DIRT . fruits basket // verse

her work as an international Wallflower brings her to the Sohma clan, a hotbed of mysterious cries of abuse from its most closely guarded family members. quickly recognizing the fragility of the job, bel takes a much lower profile during her investigation. she takes on whatever role she must to get to the bottom of the sohma family curse & support its victims.

HALF GOD; HALF DEVIL . bnha // verse

[fandom verse profile]

THE DEAD SHALL SPEAK . atlus trauma team // verse

inspired by dr. naomi kimishima. bel’s a medical examiner that can hear a victim’s last words upon interacting with their body.

DANCING ON GRAVESTONES . dnd // verse

tiefling, bard, necromancer, commander of life energy & tells stories through percussion & dance. she uses magic to mask her tiefling features in order to escape prejudice & avoid scaring away her audience.

-wallflower verses-

BAD GIRLS’ WORLD . wallflower // main verse

[about] this verse traverses all universes, from fandom to modern to fantasy as well. i use it to designate her criminality/gang affiliation & the belief system she was raised in. whether or not she remains loyal to her cult (as well as the severity of the cult itself) will vary greatly by thread.

LA MADONNA HYDRANGEA . wallflower madame // verse

bel reigns over the wallflowers as madame, presiding over an immense, international criminal underworld.

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brightquang · 5 years

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https://medium.com/@quangbright/proposal-for-enforcing-constitutional-and-law-69130e2b7cac > > Redwood City, March..4...2019 > > From: Bright Quang > > 217 5th Ave # 8 > > Redwood City, CA 94063 > > www.brightquang.com > > email: [email protected] > > Telephone: (650) 278-9542 > > > > To: Federal Bureau of Investigation Headquarters > > 935 Pennsylvania Avenue NW > > Washington D.C 20535-0001 > > (202) 324-3000 > > > > PROPOSAL FOR ENFORCING CONSTITUTIONAL AND LAW > > > > To Whom It May Concern: > > > > I would like to submit my statement of the case of litigation's Civil Settlement of the prisoner of war of the Vietnam war of the United States of America to you in order to enforce not only the United States Constitution but also ought to carry out the exact American law,because my refugee to the United States of America in November 22, 1993, which is no corresponded with my prisoner of war's case which is why I have been spending for more than tens years in order to petition to the Government of the United States of America. Let me take the art of struggle for my prisoner of war. > > In case, I would like to follow with the American law that I have taken an oath loyalist for our United States Constitution to consider a full proposal for my proposed start-up for Exactly. > > > > Introduction > > Exactly provides comprehensive best of a Vietnamese American citizen respecting the United States Constitution and our super values of the American laws when my meaningful prisoner of war of the Vietnam War is most lost by imprisoned benefit insurance, real property, and small business but also human dignity is entirely lost by a mental case, which destroyed all of my intellectual property again. Premised on the belief that substantive, petition American citizen can be powerful catalysts for performing justice to pursuant Constitutional saying, "All Men are created equal.{1}" Since it's saying, Distort justice as treason. Its mission is to equip adequate of erudition laws in order to suitable citizen of our super nation for following with formal principle of justice; and then, Americana citizens will not be violated American Constitution or to be criminals along the spectrum of our justice has declared about Human Rights involvement Declaration of human rights. The risk of our justice should seem for able to destroy all of super values of our super nation when its best citizen will be seemed neglected by your higher rank; and therefore, my exalt with an honest, experiences and trust to take concrete steps towards becoming self-reliant, self-fulfilled , and self- study law on petition for writ of certiorari to the United States Court of appeals for the 50 U.SC§ 4105- Prisoner of War -June 24, 1970 and 50 U.S.C§ 4101- Foreign Clams Settlement Commission of the United States; July 3, 1948. In condition, the American law has had Federal Tort Claims Act I House.gov because I have strongly been trained for protecting and respecting Constitutional and the American law by the low court in the state of California for some times in the past. Therefore, my statement case of prisoner of war ought to carry out within our American Constitution and law that my attachment would like to submit to you within in order to provide my best of Vietnamese American citizen has highly following exact with American Constitution and law. > > Exactly, after many years of petitioning for my human dignity of intellectual property in some low courts in the state of California in order to recapture my honor, human dignity and a treasure of arts and literature in which were lost by an hat of label mental case is put on my head by Department of Motor Vehicles , but my right case was denied by the low courts. These courts were prejudiced me by national origin and under color skin - therefore, those always returned my document's case when they did not carry out 5 U.S.Code § 702 Right of review .Sep.6, 1966. The United States may be named as a defendant in any such action,and a judgment or decree may be entered against the United States: Provided, That any mandatory or injunctive decree shall specify the Federal officer or officers(by name or by title), and their successors in office,... > > > > Ironically, it seemed to borrow to the police's hand in order to assassinate me by its mental case. Exactly I have no had any mental case. When those put the mental ill on my head, those did not only prohibited me find any jobs but also I did not dare appear in the publicans not dare relation with my neighbors because I always do worrying to the public and my neighbors that they ought to call to police and then, the police should kill me because the mental person always makes damage to everybody because 42 U.S. Code § 12101. Findings and purpose (a) Findings > > The Congress finds that— > > (1) > > physical or mental disabilities in no way diminish a person’s right to fully participate in all aspects of society, yet many people with physical or mental disabilities have been precluded from doing so because of discrimination; others who have a record of a disability or are regarded as having a disability also have been subjected to discrimination; > > (2) > > historically,society has tended to isolate and segregate individuals with disabilities, and,despite some improvements, such forms of discrimination against individuals with disabilities continue to be a serious and pervasive social problem; > > (3) > > discrimination against individuals with disabilities persists in such critical areas as employment, housing, public accommodations, education, transportation,communication, recreation, institutionalization, health services,voting, and access to public services; > > (4) > > unlike individuals who have experienced discrimination on the basis of race, color,sex, national origin, religion, or age, individuals who have experienced discrimination on the basis of disability have often had no legal recourse to redress such discrimination; > > (5) > > individuals with disabilities continually encounter various forms of discrimination, including outright intentional exclusion, the discriminatory effects of architectural,transportation, and communication barriers, overprotective rules and policies,failure to make modifications to existing facilities and practices,exclusionary qualification standards and criteria, segregation, and relegation to less services,programs, activities,benefits, jobs, or other opportunities; > > (6) > > census data, national polls, and other studies have documented that people with disabilities, as a group, occupy an inferior status in our society, and are severely disadvantaged socially,vocationally, economically, and educationally; > > (7) > > the Nation’s proper goals regarding individuals with disabilities are to assure equality of opportunity, full participation, independent living, and economic self-sufficiency for such individuals; and > > (8) > > the continuing existence of unfair and unnecessary discrimination and prejudice denies people with disabilities the opportunity to compete on an equal basis and to pursue those opportunities for which our free society is justifiably famous, and costs the United States billions of dollars in unnecessary expenses resulting from dependency and non productively. > > (b) Purpose It is the purpose of this chapter— > > (1) > > to provide a clear and comprehensive national mandate for the elimination of discrimination against individuals with disabilities; > > (2) > > to provide clear, strong, consistent,enforceable standards addressing discrimination against individuals with disabilities; > > (3) > > to ensure that the Federal Government plays a central role in enforcing the standards established in this chapter on behalf of individuals with disabilities; and > > (4) > > to invoke the sweep of congressional authority, including the power to enforce the fourteenth amendment and to regulate commerce,in order to address the major areas of discrimination faced day-to-day by people with disabilities. > > (Pub. L. 101–336,§ 2, July26, 1990, 104 Stat. 328;Pub. L.110–325, § 3, Sept. 25, 2008, 122 Stat. 3554.) > > > > In conclusion, the ten years I have respectfully been found the American attorneys, Association Bars, and many Law firm companies in order to need help, but, no of them ought to help for my Prisoner of war case.Because they do think about my prisoner of war, which, should be touched to the political action case. Therefore, they did not only discriminate me but also prejudiced my national origin and under color skin when almost of the American lawyers have come from for many famous college schools and to be famous International public lawyers, but they are silent which is why I would like to proposal to you in order to enforce the American Constitution and law in equality because unmitigated punishment for offenders. Obviously, the Congress finds that's 28 U.S.C. § 2678 - Attorney fees;penalty > > No attorney shall charge, demand, receive,or collect for services rendered, fees in excess of 25 per centum of any judgment rendered pursuant to section 1346 (b) of this title or any settlement made pursuant to section 2677 of this title, or in excess of 20 per centum of any award, compromise, or settlement made pursuant to section 2672 of this title. Any attorney who charges,demands, receives, or collects for services rendered in connection with such claim any amount in excess of that allowed under this section, if recovery behead, shall be fined not more than $2,000 or imprisoned not more than one year,or both. > > > > Respectfully Yours > > > > > > > > > > Bright Quang > > > > ___________________ > > ¹ We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life,Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness—That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent ... > > > > Terms to Know -Center for Civic Education > > > www.civiced.org/resources/curriculum/911-and-the-constitution/terms-to-know > > https://medium.com/@quangbright/proposal-for-enforcing-constitutional-and-law-69130e2b7cac > > > What does he somehow understand about to Rule of law or Rule by law of the government of the United States of America because Distort justice is national traitor? >

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captainbebold-blog · 5 years

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Blog post numero 2

So, following on from my previous and very first blog post last month, I would firstly like to say how genuinely surprised I was by the amazing comments and words that people fed back to me. I would like to thank those individuals and to anyone who took the precious time to read what I wrote as I really hadn’t thought ahead of any consequence after posting the blog.

I would also like to add how great it felt to open my mind and heart and just blurt out words that were there for all to see, I found it therapeutic and I would urge anyone else who is thinking of doing something similar.

You will come to learn that by reading what I write, if you didn’t already know, I am honest, perhaps a little too much, but I love that about myself (oh yes, a woman in 2019 affirming a positive quality about herself without the need of validation from anyone else). And by being honest I will say that this blog post was particularly difficult for me to get started on. Not difficult in the sense that I found it emotionally testing but perhaps in trying to articulate myself genuinely.

The topic that I would like to talk about this month is school, jobs and careers. Funnily enough, the definition of the word “work” as a synonym can also be known as “exerting oneself” or “to slave away”. The word “career” can be defined as “an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life and with opportunities for progress.” Now, I’m not sure what thoughts or opinions will cross people’s minds when they read this to themselves, but for me, here’s why I have trouble accepting both definitions.

Let me start from the beginning, buckle up.

From a young age, I was never really interested in school, I mean realistically why would a four-year old child who has spent the only years of their life so far playing and being free, understand or let alone choose why they had to go to a place called “school”.

But I knew and believed that it was important for my future. I believed so based on the values that my mum had taught me and that it was important for me to study hard and pay attention. My Mum had a difficult childhood and upbringing and therefore she never really got the opportunity or better still, the choice whether she wanted to go to school or not. So out of respect and love for my Mum, as well as sensing that she wanted to ensure I got the opportunities that she didn’t.

The school years are a blur from the age of 4 right up to high school and then university. The things that I enjoyed outside of lessons were dance class, singing (I cannot sing but that didn’t stop me) and reading. I remember being called a book worm and my teacher once called me his human dictionary. I would despise doing homework and think it was a load of crap. All I wanted to do was read, and read aloud to anyone who would listen, I would follow my mum around the kitchen reading aloud to her frequently.

As I got older, I enjoyed art class and it was the only hobby I happily and actively chose to do, I was good at art, I think it was the only subject in my entire life I ever achieved an A in. All the hobbies that I have mentioned above all have one thing in common, they are all creative and imaginative activities. Yet, that wasn’t enough for me to realise.

Throughout my teenage years, I didn’t excel in anything at school, along with raging hormones and my primary concerns being if my trousers were tight enough on my arse (I didn’t have one back then) or if the vending machines would have sold out of Chocolate Milk by the time I got to the canteen at lunchtime.

For me, I was at school because what else was there? It’s not like I had a choice to do anything else, or did I? I had a great social life. Life was carefree in comparison to now and “being an adult”. You aren’t taught life skills or what to expect once you leave school. To a certain extent you are protected in this bubble where there is no need to think outside of that. Teachers and parents alike would say, school will help you get a good job/career like it is the only thing that matters on planet Earth.

When high school finished at the age of 16, I still had no idea what career I wanted to pursue or what I wanted to be. I felt an element of pressure for that, like I would slip behind in life if I didn’t decide quickly. I often thought, when will I know what I want to do, or I would ask myself what was wrong with me? I told myself that the best way for me to have a successful career was to educate myself more, and by doing so I chose to go to college and study for A Levels. I told myself, Dayna you didn’t put your all in before but now is your chance to get higher grades and I cannot accept failure because then where will I get in life?

For my A levels I chose to do Psychology, Travel and Tourism and Health and Social Care. I was happy with these subjects because for the first time in my academic life, I was given the choice to decide for myself.

I loved Psychology, I absolutely loved it, it helped that my teacher was bonkers and 80% of his vocabulary was the word “fuck”. He had worked in prisons with sexual offenders for most of his career and once he even brought in a schizophrenic patient with multiple personalities to class. I have always had a real interest in how people operate and theories etc. Travel and tourism was something else I was interested in because I am a real geek when it comes to travelling, and not in the way that you think either. You could be thinking that it’s because I want to see the world (who the fuck doesn’t?) but that wasn’t the driving reason. It’s because I’m a massive geek and I have a weird genuine interest in modes of transport; planes, trains, you name it (but mainly those two). Again, I unashamedly love that about me. And, lastly, Health and Social Care was for me personally, the least interesting choice, I think I chose it at the time in case I decided to work with children or the elderly.

Anyways – I don’t want to bore you with my every single life choice I had made by the time I was 17 but I did my A levels and I was still not getting higher grades. Not because I wasn’t capable, but because I was lazy and couldn’t be bothered. Sure, I loved listening to the facts and information that I was being taught but I used to think, why do I have to write an essay about this topic that I have just learnt. What does it prove? I remember thinking to myself, I don’t want to do this. But I would also be thinking that I was lazy and that I was sabotaging myself for not caring enough about my future. In hindsight, I have since realised and learnt that the schooling system is just wrong. On so many levels. It makes me smile when I think back as a few of my closest friends made the decision to leave college before the first year was over to go down a different route in life, i.e. get a job etc and I remember my mindset at the time was; omg they are going to fail at life (quite literally).

During college I decided I would go on to university. I still couldn’t give a definitive answer about what I wanted to do long term as a career, but I did want to experience more and let’s be honest, university was a 4-year party. I started university at Leeds Metropolitan in September 2011 and graduated 4 years later with a degree in International Hospitality Management. I absolutely loved university. I still stand by the decision that university was hands down one of the best experiences of my life. Whilst I was at university, I had a part time job because I couldn’t afford to live without it. I worked as a Kitchen Assistant for Wetherspoons and for the most part I hated it. The main thing that made it worthwhile was that I worked with completely crazy people who were fun and had something to teach me as I had never met people similar in the past. Working in the kitchen helped me rule out a chef career and gave me an insight into the hard work, long hours and stress that chefs endure.

My university course was a sandwich course which meant that I had to complete a year’s work experience in the industry to count towards my degree. I always had a real interest in hotels and the way they operated so I decided I would apply for a receptionist role in a hotel in Leeds. I remember writing my CV and printing 50 copies, putting on a suit and then walking around the entirety of Leeds walking into each hotel handing in my CV to a member of staff. I would like to add that I could have easily just looked for jobs online and applied that way, but I thought that it showed willing by actively going in and introducing myself. I never heard back from any hotel, except for the one that I got the job in.

The hotel I worked in was a large hotel with 134 bedrooms and a leisure club and spa that had 5,000 external members alone. When I started it was tough and on my first day, I was so nervous I couldn’t even answer the phone. But I stuck at it and was promoted to Team Leader 8 months after I joined, and I worked there for just under 3 years. I remember when I started working there, I really enjoyed it. I would work long shifts, up to 12 hours per day and double shifts where I would finish at 11pm and be back in at 6am the next day. I would bend over backwards based on the knowledge that I was doing a great job. But then I began to realise that I wasn’t appreciated. I wasn’t appreciated through words or emotions, or through tangible elements such as pay incentives or reward. I write all of this for a reason, I began to realise, and things started to add up. I started to focus more on the employees and how they felt and what motivated them rather than the business or how many people I could sell an upgraded room type to.

Motivation is a word that can be defined in a thousand and one ways, I would know, I wrote 12,000 words for my dissertation on that topic alone. Motivation is something that has been researched and built upon over the years and is something that all companies should take seriously.

For me personally, I am motivated intrinsically, I like to feel warm and gooey inside knowing that I have achieved something to be proud of or I have made someone else smile with my words etc.

Other people may be more motivated by objects and items, money, and what they can purchase with the money.

For example, you could argue that a Doctor or a nurse must be intrinsically motivated because we all know how little they are paid for the years of studying and ball breaking dedication they put into helping others and saving lives.

Eventually I realised which career path I wanted to embark on, Human Resources. It had clicked in my mind that I wanted to work with the employees of a company as my customers rather than the customers that were buying the products or services from a company. So, I started searching for HR roles within the hospitality industry, I still loved the hospitality industry so I wanted to remain there, but I wanted to work more with supporting the employees and by doing so, they would support the company. Richard Branson, one of the greatest entrepreneurs of all time says, “A company is people. Employees want to know, am I being listened to or am I a cog in the wheel? People really needed to feel wanted”. I got my first HR trainee role and relocated back home and started my first ever “real 9-5” job.

To cut another ultra-long story short, about a year after I had started the new HR role, even though I really loved it, I began to think to myself – is this all there is? You could call me overly ambitious but knowing myself I am just impatient. And somewhere along the lines, between graduating university with all the hopes and excitement that I first had and being a few years down the line in my career, reality set in and the little voice in my head said, be realistic.

But why should I tell myself to be realistic, I am a millennial. I come from an era where parents told us we could be anything that we wanted to be. When you are five years old and you dream of being an astronaut or a cowboy, your parents agree with you because it is harmless right? so why would you ever think that you were being unrealistic?

Working in HR I know that it is still widely frowned upon to look at an applicant’s CV and see that they have “job hopped” since they graduated. Recruiters and employers who aren’t willing to adapt to change believe that it shows a lack of stability and loyalty from a person if they change roles and companies every year or so. Well gone are the days where our grandparents would start a job at the age of 16 and do the same job until retirement at the ripe old age of 65. The world today is changing at an ever-increasing rate and who is to be certain of what tomorrow brings?

I am now in this process and point in my life where I have started to expose myself to new information and learn something that was foreign to me. As I said in my previous post, we don’t know what we don’t know. But when you start to focus your attention towards something, it manifests. Another core belief of mine is that everything happens for a reason, and that we are exposed to certain life events on purpose.

I have realised at the age of 27, that I don’t want to work for another 40 years until I can retire and live off state pension. I don’t want to work for someone else’s goals and objectives, I don’t want to be told how many hours I must work per week. I don’t want my financial stability to be in someone else’s hands. The list goes on and on.

It is fine to say, I don’t want this, I don’t want that, but the question is: do I have the power to change it? Absolutely. I revert to my previous comment about the fact that we tell children they can be anything they dream to be. So why is it that if I tell someone at the age of 27 that I am starting my own business and I am going to be an entrepreneur they look at me like I am batshit or tell me to be realistic? My grandma used to tell me when I was a teenager, study hard, why don’t you become a doctor. And even at a young age I would think in my mind, the only reason is because it would look and sound good to others so that she could say, “My granddaughter is a Doctor”.

I write all of this with no disrespect to a single soul. No disrespect to my loved ones or friends. Because 6 months ago, I was included in the 93% of the population that all live within the “rules” and norms of society. The rules being that you go to school, study hard, get good grades and then get a good job and jump through hoops for 40+ years of your life to provide for yourself and family and then you get to retire just a few years before death (if you make it that far). The late Jim Rohn, who was one of the world’s most famous entrepreneurs and motivational speakers said, “Formal education will make a living; self-education will make you a fortune”. It is correct, formal education does make you a living. I can honestly say hand on heart that I have never needed to use Algebra in my life since leaving school and that a calculator gets me through just fine. Self-education is what we choose freely, we have the choice to invest in ourselves or not.

One of my pet hates, which I am totally guilty of doing in the past is when people say, “Happy Friday” or “thank god it’s Friday”. Isn’t that sad? Society has created a monster, to the point where people may not even be necessarily conscious of what they are doing daily because it is like being on a hamster wheel. The daily commute to work at the same time every day, the same route, the same things that we see each day.

Maybe it is just me reading too much into it. But I do believe that to a certain extent, Instagram is also promoting the hamster wheel by having emojis that say “TGIF” or a Camel with the word Wednesday above it. I feel like people are wishing their life away, for 5 days of the week to be over, to then “live” for the other two.

I need to keep emphasising the point that I am not writing any of this as if I am better than anyone else, I have been doing most of the above for my entire life up until this point too. I am simply sharing what I have experienced and learnt and where I am at present in my life.

I have been at the point where I would wake up in the morning and would have rather done quite literally anything else but go to work because I hated my job, and I knew that I didn’t have a choice but to go because of one reason – money. Money was the primary reason and control over me having to go to a workplace. As Charles Bukowski famously says, “how in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30am by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, force feed, shit, piss, get dressed and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?”

The reason that it strikes an emotional reaction inside me is because I have come from a family and background with little money. Most things have been a struggle. For example, when I turned 17, the legal age to drive a car, I didn’t pass my driving test straight away because my family couldn’t afford to fund the lessons, and neither could I. So, I passed my test when I was 19 instead, after I had earnt the money myself out of stubbornness. My mum offered to help me countless times, but I was adamant I would do it myself even when my friends would mock me for being lazy and not passing sooner. I have never had money chucked at me for things, holidays etc. And when I did have the financial capacity to have more freedom, I chose wrong and got myself into debt because I went to Ibiza and festivals etc. I don’t regret any of the decisions I made, because it was all a part of the learning process.

But since I started to invest in myself to become better, I realised that in the past, I had chosen to accept what was handed to me, instead of trying to create my own journey or spending time trying to find what my passions are to create a life that I chose, not that I slept walked through.

One of the most eye opening and invaluable books that I have read is “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki. There’s an old saying, that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, I used to believe that the rich were conniving and unjust. People say that the rich keep all the money and don’t help “the poor?” Why aren’t the poor doing anything to help themselves? Well, Robert also says that the word JOB stands for “Just Over Broke”. Perhaps I am being overly cynical but for me, this quote stands true as the sky is blue.

I find myself talking and talking so I guess I should wrap it up.

What I have learnt based on reflection and through changing what I pay attention to is that most of society is messed up. We are sent to school from a very young age and are kept there until the age of 18. We aren’t given the freedom or information to understand that we can think outside the box and that we don’t have to go to work for someone else. But then think of it another way, if everyone was taught at school that they could be an entrepreneur and teachers provided real life and world changing examples like Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs… then wouldn’t there be too many “successful people” in the world. But that wouldn’t happen because people are like sheep, they follow what is “normal” or they prefer living in their comfort zone.

The world is forever evolving and whilst it is scary, it is also so exciting. Mary Augustine says that we become happier in life when we realise that life is an opportunity rather than an obligation. The amazing entrepreneurs that I mentioned above should be the people we are thanking and counting our blessings for, for the opportunities they have provided to the entire world. Mark Zuckerberg for Facebook, Steve Jobs for Apple, Mike Krieger and Kevin Systrom for Instagram, to name a few. They have enriched so many people’s lives because of their innovative minds, for being brave enough to think outside of the box and push and believe in their dreams even when the fear of the unknown was greater. Astoundingly, millions of people choose to spend their precious time keeping up with the Kardashians plastic faces on Instagram, so if they became rich for doing nothing… then the world is our oyster!

Much love xxx

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absolutedigitalbranding · 3 years

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Happy International Human Rights Day! Let's play an active role in protecting the rights of our fellow human beings.

#International_Human_Rights_Day HumanRightsDay InternationalHumanRightsDay DefendTogether StandUp4HumanRights No1 SEO PPC SMO SMM SeoCompany

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ernmark · 6 years

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The Moonlit Hermit (part 1) Reactions

Spoilers under the cut

First off, for those who aren’t familiar, a whole lot of the Penumbra episodes are heavily inspired by one story or another, to one degree or another. Angel of Brahma was modeled after Star Wars, Promised Land was Indiana Jones (with Alessandra playing the titular Jones), Train From Nowhere was James Bond, Day That Wouldn’t Die was IT, Time Gone By was Casa Blanca, etc.

So that Beauty and the Beast vibe you’re getting from this episode? 100% intentional. I mean, right down to the magical servants and the magic flower that our heroine is definitely not supposed to touch (but does anyway).

If there’s one thing you must know about me, it’s that sentient places are my jam. Especially sentient places that are sassy and fond of their inhabitants the way the Keep is.

I love the Keep, okay? I love how it sings to respond to Arum, despite the fact that (apparently?) they can read each other’s thoughts. I love that it sings him lullabies when he’s been staying up too long trying to take care of it. I love that it tries to dote on Rilla and Arum has to tell it to rein it in.

I desperately want them to cure the Keep’s blight, because I don’t want it to get hurt anymore.

I love Rilla so goddamn much. So much. Just everything about her is wonderful and I love her.

I love that the central conflict between her and Arum is the conflict between magic and science and how completely incompatible the two principles are. I love that she has a vested interest in wanting to dissect magic into scientific terms, because (allegedly) buying into magic in its own right is what got her family exiled from the Second Citadel, because magic is seen as inherently monstrous and practicing it makes you a witch and therefore Less Than Human, based on what we’ve seen so far.

It’s a much more solid and understandable reason for her stubbornness than we usually get from the Cynical Scientist character, who is usually just being bull-headed for the sake of being stubborn. Also, her creating a monster is very much the realm of the Mad Scientist character, only this time there’s a legit, logical reason for her to create this thing, rather than doing so just for the hell of it.

Also, as much as she’s in a Beauty and the Beast story, she doesn’t fit the standard type of the Maiden Pure of Heart. She’s a stubborn, angry woman who acts out for the sake of defiance. Her primary motivation isn’t compassion -- if anything, compassion is a detriment to her cause-- but her need to escape and get home. She’s neither innocent nor naive-- she’s freakin’ vivisected monsters, and that’s pretty dark stuff, even if you don’t consider that the creatures involved may or may not be sentient (unless those were her parents’ notes, but still).

In previous episodes, we’ve always seen her within her role as a healer and in her relationships with Damien, Marc, and Dampierre-- always as a caretaker, to varying degrees. We’ve seen a touch of her darker side show itself toward Marc, but here we get a stronger sense of it.

Another thing we don’t often get to see is Damien acting as a caretaker to her-- though her natural defiance makes that hard for her to swallow. I love the internal conflict that brings up within her, with her disdain toward knights warring with the understanding that it’s coming from a place of love and concern. I have to imagine that has a lot to do with her dragging her feet regarding the wedding-- she’s not in a place emotionally where she can handle that kind of concern in large doses.

Arum, Arum, my darling dorky lizard, oh, how I love you.

First of all, can I appreciate that he’s fluent in The Language of Flowers? That makes me so absurdly happy. So does all the stuff about the nature of his magic. My god, that made me happy.

But I digress.

Where Rilla gets to show off her darker side, Arum really gets to show off his gentler side. That isn’t to say that he’s not monstrous in his own way. He’s ruthless about destroying failed specimens. The things in his world exist to serve him, and they don’t have a place there if they won’t. But he doesn’t have an organized greenhouse because he listens to the plants and lets them do what pleases them, rather than what’s easiest for him. He meditates with his deadly sword ferns. He clucks and coos at his giant freakin’ spider-horses. He is so dearly protective of his Keep, who clearly adores him, too. So much of his power springs from being gentle and understanding the beings in his power on their own level.

I think that’s a lot of his problem with Rilla-- as of yet, he doesn’t know how to engage her at her level, or isn’t willing to try. I don’t know if that’s because of the war between their peoples and the prejudices it brings, or because he was actively trying to sabotage her by not giving her what she needed so he wouldn’t have to make good on his end of the bargain, or because he’s used to plants and insects and his own creations and doesn’t know how to handle something as complex and confusing as a human. He’s trying to engage with her, but it’s so far very limited, and always in short moments.

There are several scenes where Arum is aggressive and frightening toward Rilla-- the two of them in that moment are very much playing into the Maiden and the Monster, or at least, Arum tries to. But even when she’s scared, she doesn’t back down. I don’t know exactly how Rilla responds to that-- the recorder shuts off after she wakes him from his nap, and when he bellows at her to shut it off at the end, but when the fear passes and the recorder turns back on, she’s always back to being her stubborn, willful self. She isn’t cowed when he acts like a bully.

I think he’s starting to understand that: at the end, he tries taking the angle of having saved her life twice, and requesting that she turn off the recorder... and when she doesn’t, that’s when he starts yelling again. It seems our lizardly lord has a hard time dealing with defiance, which is like half of what drives Rilla.

Do I still ship them?

Oh god, yes, but it’s gonna take time for any kind of relationship to develop.

I want Arum to humble himself enough to actually ask Rilla for the help he needs, rather than demanding it. I want Rilla to open herself up to examining magic on not a biological level, but an interpersonal one. I want them to get excited over science and magic together and try to understand each other on terms that are so alien to themselves. I want to see both of their caretaker natures at odds with the others’ misanthropy and defiance, and all the glorious awkwardness and conflict that could come of it.

Also, one last thing to leave you on:

Rilla’s father was obsessed with the Hermit-- which currently resides in the Keep.

Rilla and the Keep both know the same song, and use it to soothe and calm their loved ones.

The Keep lied to Arum exactly once. It gloats over the fact that it doesn’t know every thought it has.

I think the Keep knew Rilla’s parents. I think the knowledge it withheld from Arum is something related to the two of them.

#the penumbra podcast #second citadel

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jamesginortonblog · 6 years

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It's nearly unheard of that a television series inspires a nationwide law that targets international corruption, money laundering and organized crime.

But that's what happened in the UK as a result of the James Norton-fronted drama McMafia, an eight-part series currently airing in the U.S. on AMC after completing its British run in mid-February.

McMafia delves into the incredibly profitable underworld of criminal activity including sex trafficking, drug dealing and money laundering and how the tempting tentacles of corruption reach into the highest levels of finance and government through the machinations of global organized crime.

Norton plays the British-raised, Ivy League-educated Alex Godman, the scion of a connected Russian family who moved to England to legitimize themselves after some shady dealings in the old country. He runs a London-based hedge fund, is engaged to his girlfriend, played by Juliet Rylance, is a model son to his parents and a loving brother to a troubled sister. In other words, the perfect hero, until he gets drawn into a series of scary scenarios that see him evolve from proverbial choirboy to criminal.

McMafia's tales of intrigue kick into high gear with the murder of Godman's uncle Boris, who, unlike the rest of the family, is still actively involved in the Russian mob.

To avenge the killing, Godman teams up with a powerful Russian-born Israeli businessman and politician, Semiyon Kleiman (David Strathairn) to battle the crime boss behind the killing, a brutal kingpin known as Vadim. Kleiman and Godman, first introduced by Uncle Boris and after overcoming their initial suspicions of each other, develop a sort of father-son relationship and conspire to take territories, including ports in India and Croatia, where Vadim has a "free pass" to ply his illegal commerce—and thus, take him down.

Some have compared the character of Alex Godman to that of The Godfather's Michael Corleone, the once-legitimate businessman who becomes the powerful head of a massive criminal enterprise.

But unlike The Godfather films, which were based on Mario Puzo's best-selling novel, McMafia is inspired by investigative journalism. The series is based on the 2008 nonfiction book McMafia: A Journey Through the Global Criminal Underworld by Misha Glenny, who also serves as an executive producer.

The crime drama was created by Hossein Amini and James Watkins and is a coproduction of the BBC, AMC and Cuba Pictures. The series premiered in the United Kingdom on January 1 and created a huge amount of buzz, including the aforementioned "McMafia Law," more formally known as the Unexplained Wealth Order.

It requires that rich people who come to Great Britain from elsewhere must prove the legitimacy of their wealth. If found to be acquired from illegal activity, their assets can be seized and liquidated, with the money going to law enforcement. Great Britain's National Crime Agency estimates that £90 billion a year (about $126.5 billion) is now being laundered in the UK, twice the amount of the nation's entire defense budget.

The problem is so severe that UK security minister Ben Wallace recently wrote an op-ed in The Sunnewspaper which stated, "McMafia has brought home to millions of viewers the nature of serious and organized crime in the 21st Century. Sharp suited people swan around the nation's capital while all along they head up networks that trade on the back of the misery and suffering of others. It is time the flashy McMafia mob felt the long arm of the law."

Already, two £11 million London mansions, believed to be bought with "dirty money," were seized by court order in February.

Norton's Godman is in almost every scene of McMafia, whose story unfolds in multiple picturesque international locations including Belize, Istanbul, Belgrade, London, Prague, Zagreb, Cairo, Qatar, Russia and Israel.

"Alex Godman is not necessarily always likeable, but James brought such a sense of humanity, especially in scenes with his family, that counterbalanced the coldness of the character," says Watkins, who directed all eight episodes.

"James was very brave in committing to such a withheld character. In creating the antiheroic Alex Godman, we wanted to maintain a deliberate ambiguity as to his motivations. Is he acting out of revenge or out of survival? Or, somewhere within him, seen in occasional glimpses, is there a will to power at work, a seduction by the dark side?

"James is a very attuned actor and worked forensically at finding those little micro-details. One of the wonderful things about James's performance is the very subtle way in which he lets emotion leak through the mask, especially in the last episodes as events spiral out of control."

The 32-year-old Norton is well-known in the UK after leading roles in numerous prestige productions including War & Peace, Grantchester and Happy Valley. He also co-starred in last year's reboot of the feature film Flatliners.

Norton will appear again on the big screen toplining director Agnieszka Holland's Gareth Jones as the title character, a Welsh journalist who exposed genocide in the Stalinist Soviet Union, secured access to Hitler and Goebbels and was murdered in 1935.

We caught up with Norton by phone on location for the film in Ukraine where he said he was shivering in -15°C (5°F ) weather. The conversation was anything but chilly as we explored facets of his career and the echoes of McMafia in real life.

Tell us about the evolution of your character Alex Godman on McMafia.

It was a most exciting part to play with. During 150 days, we shot out of sequence and it was a huge challenge. Most of the conversations about Alex revolved around where we were in his arc- from clean-living man and golden boy to his fiancé Rebecca, and then how he becomes a linchpin in shady deals with Mafias.

James [Watkins] and I would try to understand his motives. We wanted to leave a lot of it open, to leave muddy his motives. You can claim to understand them but there are a myriad of reasons.

We were clear about protecting his family and then making a choice as he began moving away from fortuitous, virtuous reasons to avarice. While the creators- and audiences- are realizing Alex was being sucked in, Alex didn't realize it soon enough. Suddenly he surprised himself, and he's loving it, and it's incredibly sexy and seductive.

It was a layered role. His headspace doesn't ever stop giving you revelations about his relationship with his father and fiancé, and the associated Russians with inherent criminality. But there were a lot of commentators quick to make the connection about him running away [from organized crime] and then being seduced. It was a joy to play, right until the end of the last hour.

Many of your scenes are with David Strathairn. Let's talk about his character's magnetism, and how you are drawn into his nefarious agenda and the plot to destroy Vadim.

David's a master, and the journey Alex is on is incredibly defined by his relationship with Semiyon. He becomes almost like Alex's moral compass, kind of like Rebecca. Semiyon sort of sets it up that if he wants to protect his family, he has to take on Vadim. He became a dark, sinister individual but also becomes a paternal figure. To have a relationship with Vadim—they're so different, and corrupt, but they have their allies, children, lovers and they're not stock villains.

David played it beautifully, a real character, a likeable one if not more sinister. He's a politician we all recognize, progressive and yet he's subversive and deals in human trafficking. He brought home how close these politicians are to corruption.

Off set, David was wonderful. We went walking and swimming along the Croatian coastline. He's a lover of life and I loved hanging out with him.

That sounds fun, but what are some of the most challenging and memorable scenes that you have shot in the series?

We shot in Croatia, Serbia and London in very glamorous locations but I didn't get to Mumbai. One location was a beautifully landscaped villa with a beautiful mosaic ceiling – just unbelievably extravagant in the South of France, yet nearby was extraordinary poverty. Some of the scenes, particularly with David, felt like mini pieces of theater. James gave us time to mine those scenes.

The scenes with the parents were wonderful to play, so subtle and with the human subject so rich. With Vadim, when we crossed paths in the airport lounge, it was like punctuation marks on our respective journeys. All the other storylines were leading to this. The scene's very charged, halfway through the shoot, crackling and informed.

It was wonderful, and the reason you do this, when the story and situation take on a life on their own and memories and experiences inform it. It's like a mini explosion.

With Rebecca, the first thing we shot was the apartment stuff between them in the first week. It was incredibly emotionally charged material, when she moves out after she confronts him about travel. It was a sad day, and it was harder because we didn't have the backstory. On Alex's journey, she represents where he comes from, and you suddenly remember where he was with her. The tragedy is he does set out to protect her and it's gone way too far.

The family elements are especially resonant within McMafia - and Alex is always right in the middle of everything.

The family element allows us to explore the man, seduced by the subversive and the dark side. The family is a way of seeing that component. He ends up as a gangster, but he's ultimately a family man, a good son and brother. In one of the most tragic, heartbreaking scenes he's asked to cut loose his dad, Dmitri – it's almost self-sacrifice. I have a close relationship with my own father, and that day Alex was willing to sabotage his family was difficult.

Faye Marsay, Aleksey Serebryakov, Mariya Shukshina-- we become a real family. There was a concentrated, really fun sense of unity. All of us were so invested in the warmth and affection both and off camera, and they are all such great actors. Aleksey came in with different versions, using the Stanislavski method. We Brits were far too polite.

Aleksey would come in and say, "No, we do it like this." When Dmitri says goodbye to his brother in the morgue, he paced around and genuinely threw up in the sink. It was extraordinary.

You have had key roles in a number of series including Grantchester, Happy Valley and War & Peace. What have you learned from these experiences? Is there a throughline amongst these characters?

You learn through every role, with different headspaces, time periods and genders, you get to learn and have an emotional connection. I would hate to be typecast. If there is a throughline, the characters are very switched on and inquisitive - kind of trying to work it all out or not take life for granted. They're on some quest to understand it. Maybe I am completely confused, but they're all thinking and in existential angst.

Can you tell us a little bit about your upcoming starring role in Gareth Jones with Agnieszka Holland?

Gareth knew his place, and he's on an incredible journey but also on a mission. It's a true story about a young journalist, one of the first to interview Hitler in 1932 just at the emergence of Nazi-ism. He describes being on a plane with Goebbels, and then back home to the UK where he tells the British government about the emergence of totalitarianism. They dismiss this and of course we know what happens later.

Then he takes on a mission to Stalin's USSR. He was beginning to have doubts about Communism. He decided to check out the numbers and how they're paying for planes, etc. He was on a tour, went rogue and discovered Stalin's extortion at the expense of millions of lives. At home, they accused him of lying, "fake news" and being inflammatory.

It's terrifying in 1933 when they had so much less access to communications. In Ukraine, Stalin was able to get away it and millions died [as a result of famine]. Now we are using the same language. It's a very relevant story, what is truth and what is agenda. We feel a responsibility to respect his story. It's exciting, and I'm really enjoying it.

As McMafia unfolds, what do you hope viewers take away from it?

You want the work to be entertaining as we're in the business of entertaining people. But with the last few years of Brexit, Trump and populist right-wing governments coming to power, and corporations being so powerful, corruption is no long self-contained. It's straddling everything, and we're in unknown territory.

I know in the UK they want to know what that corruption looks like. In the days of The Sopranos and The Godfather, organized crime contained an element of romanticism but did not really affect us. For a show to provide understanding of financial corruption is important, to see how a hedge fund manager facilitates a drug deal. Aside from the human-driven drama, it is also about corruption and transparency, and will hopefully bring some clarity.

With the UK McMafia Law, suddenly we are part of a much larger conversation, more pertinent and crucial. I hope for those people in the audience who are fully engaged and hungry for clarify that this is a perfect show.

#James Norton #McMafia #article #Interview

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beautyk-nice · 3 years

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Birthday number

The birthday number represents a vibrating influence that has existed since the time of his birth. It can determine a person's character or control his destiny, his future. The birthday number reveals the inherited traits of a person, and serves as a guiding factor rather than a dominant one. The birthday number is of paramount importance, as a person acting against their natural inclinations will face clear obstacles in the areas that lie in the strength of their name. It is obtained from the digits of the date of birth and is a personality number that reveals the natural characteristics of a person. The simplest method is to add up all the digits of this number, then, if 10 or more are formed, add these digits as well. This process continues until you get an elementary number from 1 to 9. Dates can be abbreviated to vibrating numbers by adding the day, month, and year (January 1, February 2, December 12 = 3), etc. For example: a person born on March 12, 1975 will receive 1 - the vibrating number of the person's birthday, since the sum of all the digits when added is 1 + 2 + 3 + 1 + 9 + 7 + 5 = 28 = 10 = 1

Esoteric interpretation: birth number 1

It is a symbol of his own person, a symbol of glory and power, action and ambition. A person with a birthday number of 1 never changes his course and does not try to jump far ahead immediately, jerkily, ahead of time. He reaches new heights only in a direct and progressive way. They should avoid selfishness and greed, self-will and self-will, be careful, balance their interests with the interests of other people so that they do not come into a conflict state, otherwise they can lose friends and gain enemies. A strong birthday number 1 promises a lot, it offers high development if you follow its advice. Strongly expressed "I", will, energy. The unit protects people who are active, strong, inclined to innovations - creators and leaders in all areas. One people always radiate energy, generously give it to others, they cannot be overlooked even in a crowd. There are many artists, politicians and national heroes among them. When it comes to love and sex, these people form many bonds in early adulthood - it is often very difficult for them to settle on one partner. They are attracted to members of the opposite sex who are serious about life. Whores are not interested in them Such people are predominantly sexual. Unfortunately, sex for them is only a means of expressing their sexuality. Many of them do not understand that marriage or other partnership implies a union of equals, not only in bed, but also outside. They are usually loving parents and are the head of the family. They are especially concerned about the preservation of the family as a dynasty.

Esoteric interpretation: birth number 2

The deuce symbolizes balance in mood, behavior, actions, gentleness and tact of character, searching for compromises, smoothing out sharp corners, acute problems. Internal contradictions, excessive judgment, eternal advice to friends and others can prevent you from sorting out your own affairs. Number 2 is antithesis, balance, contrast. It is located between light and darkness, good and evil, warm and cold, wealth and poverty, life and death. You can accept all circumstances as they are, adapt to them, and be reconciled with them, you can avoid extremes, any insecurity and excessive generosity, think and care not only about others, but also about yourself. 2 good designers and advisors, but not performers. You need co-authors, associates, employees. But when choosing partners, let the mind rule over the feelings. The deuce endows its owners with gentleness and passivity, emotionality and physical health. It encourages a person to live by desires and passions, provokes emotional disorders and depression. Patronizes women, motherhood, psychologists, work with the subconscious and meditation, as well as people living on rent and actors. It helps to accumulate in the material world, but is not the number of bankers. Household is very important for these people, so their partners should have common sense. Sexual passion can fade into the background, giving way to genuine respect and love. Moreover, her absence will not make married life any less happy in the long run. They are very loyal natures and in return demand absolute loyalty. As long as they feel that they are loved, needed, everything is fine, but once doubts are painted over, they instantly become jealous and may resort to cruel revenge in their desire to save the family.

Esoteric interpretation: birth number 3

Birthday number "3" reveals its character faster than all other numbers. 3 has a keen and intuitive mind, the ability to quickly and easily assimilate knowledge, often at a very early age. You are a talented person, capable, but alone you will not be able to fully use your talent, since you will choose easier ways and means to achieve your goal. 3 likes to adapt to anything that promises immediate benefits. He prefers to take life as such not so seriously. 3 we need interesting people, an easy, pleasant environment, constant entertainment, the ability to live today, and not in the future. With the right start, it will go far, since 3 do not doubt their abilities, and are competent at work. However, natural impatience, the desire for easy activities, as well as temporary quick success in it, can prevent you from switching to another path, with higher opportunities, where long-term planning is supposed. The three calls to be attractive to the other sex, sometimes aggressive, but invariably bright, brilliant, happy and successful. Patronizes students, military, surgeons and adventurers. Such people are most often attracted to charming representatives of the opposite sex. They have tremendous opportunities to attract people with arousing sexual aura. But a stable family requires much more than charm. Therefore, they must rely on knowledge of human nature. In their youth, many have illusions about marriage. It seems to them that everything will automatically change for the better, but after the romance of the first months, bitter disappointment can come. The only guarantee of the strength of a marriage is the community of interests of partners, as well as joint participation in social activities. At the same time, love and respect are enhanced.

Esoteric interpretation: birth number 4

Birthday number 4 symbolizes a balanced, hardworking nature, careful, avoiding risky ventures. A capable person, with his ideas, plans, tries to figure everything out on his own, without outside help. motto 4 - reliability, durability, honesty. 4 cannot be deceived, but 4 herself must avoid self-deception. If 4 has modest requirements and small goals, then this can become a symbol of defeat. But at the same time, this number gives 4 a solid foundation for the further development of knowledge and professional skills in various specialties. 4 acts in different guises: on the one hand, it is dull, poor, and on the other hand, it is strong and solid, which does not allow to fall into the abyss at any difficulties. Patronizes writers, artists, small and medium-sized businesses, sculptors, architects and land surveyors. Helps in negotiations and networking. Despite the fact that 4 are very reserved people, almost all of them need an ordinary family and normal sex. They honor "family values" more than others. Such reliable and motivated people are considered a good couple. They have great sex appeal. Rarely are romantics. Flirting and sex as such are usually not of interest to them. Only love matters, to which they almost always take very seriously, considering marriage as the main goal. They go for it when their feelings are strong.

Esoteric interpretation: birth number 5

The birthday number 5 symbolizes an enthusiastic nature, loving adventure and risky activities, prone to anything unusual. You are mobile, you love travel and travel and you feel at home everywhere. You quickly and easily learn foreign languages, traditions of other nations. Often your actions and behavior are completely sudden and unexpected, with unpredictable consequences. With all the difficulties, 5 usually comes out dry from the water. In many ways, resourcefulness and wit, cheerfulness help in life. Love for frequent changes can prevent 5 from evaluating the present, seeing real prospects. 5 are always directed only forward, although sometimes it is useful for them to see what is at hand. 5 makes a person sexy and nervous, adventurous and mobile. It encourages you to always be on the side of the law, to protect the weak, to reveal any injustice. The five patronize rulers, missionaries, teachers, philosophers, lawyers, bosses and travelers. In their search for a sexual partner, these people usually show reckless courage and can have a lot of romances before deciding on the final step. They love to experiment in this area and take a wait and see attitude for a long time. Successful or unsuccessful will be their marriage or intimate relationship depends on the extent to which the partners understand each other and whether they are ready to fill their love affair with spiritual content. They are usually confused by the external manifestation of feelings. Words play a more important role for them than caress, kissing, and sometimes sex itself. But over the years, they understand that words alone are not enough for harmony.

Esoteric interpretation: birth number 6

The nature is honest, frank, reliable. Views are progressive, but with a desire to create a name for themselves, to gain respect and favor from others, to maintain peace and tranquility among friends, to improve their living conditions. 6 literally exudes optimism and cheerfulness. Justifying a trusted job or position, 6 is satisfied with what has been achieved and does not strive for the heights of a career or fame. This 6 is sometimes hindered by complacency and complacency. The mask of dispassion 6 does not fit, since it does not cause much sympathy and gives rise to suspicion of hypocrisy. Six betrays a person who is inactive, inert, who loves home comfort. It harmonizes relations with the outside world, but can develop laziness and lack of principle, makes a person non-conflict, but at the same time makes him work hard and hard. The number patronizes physicians, laboratory workers, jewelers, designers, cartoonists, museum workers and collectors. These people are usually very sexy. However, they do not in any way enjoy universal love. Material considerations play a very important role for them when choosing a partner. If there is no sexual compatibility and mutual love between the spouses, this will become a source of disappointment and even rupture of relations. They should be more open about expressing their feelings and affection. Then they will more strongly attract partners who will actually love them as they are, and not as they appear.

Esoteric interpretation: birth number 7

Birthday number 7 symbolizes mystery as well as knowledge. The line of this contradiction can be continued. Here such personality traits arise as diligence and a poetic soul, albeit with some oddities, a tendency to analytical thinking and strong intuition, rich imagination, vivid, vivid imagination. With this number, composers and musicians, writers and poets, philosophers and recluses, thinkers and hermits are born and raised. Their inspiration requires solitude and solitude. The weaker ones are drawn into a swamp of despondency and pessimism, the stronger ones become bright personalities, people of world renown. Seven inspires mystics and philosophers, but makes a person fussy, a little gloomy, sometimes irritable and non-contact. The number, on the one hand, calls for loneliness and creative seclusion, exposes barriers and restrictions. On the other hand, it patronizes marriage, cooperation and partnership. Maintaining harmonious relationships with these people is not easy, especially if they are people with opposite characters: a sensitive and sensual man and a less emotionally excitable woman or a strong-willed woman and a man who allows her to take over her. Faithfulness, a sense of duty, common interests, and a responsible approach to raising children contribute to a happy marriage with these people.

Esoteric interpretation: birth number 8

Birthday number 8 gives business ability, entrepreneurial spirit, fearlessness in all spheres and areas of life, especially in commerce and industry. Striving only forward, these people successfully carry out their plans and intentions, fulfill their plans: their will and strong character, their ability not to feel sorry for themselves and others, is reflected. And resistance, obstacles on the way, opponents only whip up, increase their energy and efficiency. The "eights" have rare administrative skills, the ability to manage teams, dragging people along. This is especially evident in the field of politics, in the military, in the business world, where they can be cruel and merciless. The eight forms a business materialist, strong, with a complex structure of the inner world. From all situations, a person of eight will find a way out, will never get into a mess, will always seem richer than he really is. His life is fraught with constantly changing situations, forcing him to make unexpected bold decisions. Eight forces a person to move from one level to another many times in his life. Eight people are rapidly moving up the evolutionary ladder, among them there are many Initiates. The social circle of these people changes with every turn of fate. If these people enter into an early marriage, their partners will need tremendous endurance, because it is during this period that they are completely captured by work and are eager to achieve their goals. In this case, they can destroy the love relationship. Therefore, later marriages are suitable for them. By that time, they will be fine and their feelings will become more stable. In general, if the choice of a partner is made correctly, these people are faithful, loving spouses, although they bring some peculiarities to the marriage. By the way, many of them are ready to sacrifice marriage for a career at any age.

Esoteric interpretation: birth number 9

Birthday number 9 symbolizes a strong personality with potential intelligence, capable of high development. Here success is given by the world of art and arts, artistic talent and creative, creative power. It is better for such people to immediately abandon the professions of a businessman, metallurgist, military man. Their problem often lies in the awareness of their talents and abilities and in choosing the right path in life. Under this birthday number, great inventors, discoverers of the new, and musicians, writers are born. It all depends on the ability and desire. Both of these factors should be combined, directed towards one goal - then success is guaranteed. The nine endows a person with spiritual activity and promotes higher mental activity. A man of nine is prone to religious revelations, cosmic contacts, synthetic sciences, self-education. Patronizes composers and musicians, navigators and poets, psychologists and hypnotists, writers and magicians. The fate of such a person can be changeable and fickle. There are many revolutionaries, drug addicts and alcoholics among the nine people. These people give themselves completely to love and passionately desire to be loved. Their thirst for love is so great that they are ready for anything for it. They attach great importance to the attributes of romantic courtship. At the same time, they quickly lose interest in the object of their attraction if he (or she) does not succumb to temptation for a long time. In many cases, marriage with these people is successful, if only because they are very sexy people. They take the question of morality and cleanliness in sex seriously. Betrayal is forgiven, but they immediately part with such a partner forever. At some stage, these people may want to reconsider the marriage relationship, even if the family is happy and love reigns between the spouses. They will want to know why they love each other. After that, they will wish to see the confirmation of love every day.

Число дня рождения

Число дня рождения представляет собой вибрирующее влияние, существующее со времени его рождения. Оно может определить характер человека или управлять его судьбой, его будущим. Число дня рождения раскрывает унаследованные черты человека, и служит скорее руководящим факторами, чем господствующим. Число дня рождения имеет первостепенную важность, так как человек, действующий против своих природных склонностей, встретит явные препятствия в областях, которые заключены в силе его имени. Оно получается из цифр даты дня рождения и является числом личности, раскрывающим природную характеристику человека. Самый простой метод - сложить все цифры этого числа, затем, если образуется 10 или более, сложить и эти цифры. Этот процесс продолжается до тех пор, пока не получат элементарное число от 1 до 9. Даты могут быть сокращены в вибрирующие числа при помощи сложения дня, месяца и года (январь - 1, февраль - 2, декабрь - 12=3) и т. д. Например: человек, родившийся 12 марта 1975 года, получит 1 — вибрирующее число дня рождения данного человека, так как сумма всех цифр при сложении 1+2+3+1+9+7+5=28=10=1

Эзотерическая интерпретация: число рождения 1

Это символ собственной персоны, символ славы и могущества, действия и честолюбия. Человек с числом дня рождения 1 никогда не меняет свой курс и не пытается прыгнуть далеко вперед сразу же, рывком, раньше времени. Он достигает новых высот только прямым и прогрессивным путем. Им следует избегать эгоизма и корыстолюбия, своеволия и своенравия, соблюдать осторожность, соразмерять свои интересы с интересами других людей, чтобы они не пришли в конфликтное состояние, иначе можно растерять друзей и приобрести врагов. Сильное число дня рождения 1 обещает многое, оно предлагает высокое развитие, если следовать его советам. Резко выраженное «я», воля, энергия. Единица покровительствует людям активным, сильным, склонным к нововведениям - творцам и лидерам во всех областях. Люди единицы всегда излучают энергию, щедро дарят её окружающим, их нельзя не заметить даже в толпе. Среди них много артистов, политиков и национальных героев. Что касается любви и секса, то у этих людей в раннем взрослом возрасте образуется много связей - им нередко очень трудно остановиться на одном партнере. Их привлекают представители противоположного пола, серьезно относящиеся к жизни. Бляди их не интересуют Такие люди преимущественно сексуальны. К сожалению, секс для них - лишь средство выразить свою сексуальность. Многие из них не понимают, что супружество или иное партнерство, предполагает союз равных, причем не только в постели, но и вне. Они, обычно бывают любящими родителями и являются главой семьи. Особенно они беспокоятся о сохранении семьи как династии

Эзотерическая интерпретация: число рождения 2

Двойка символизирует равновесие в настроении, поведении, действиях, мягкость и тактичность характера, поиски компромиссов, сглаживания острых углов, острых проблем. Внутренние противоречия, излишняя рассудительность, вечные советы друзьям и окружающим могут помешать разобраться в собственных делах. Число 2 - это антитеза, равновесие, контраст. Оно находится между светом и мраком, добром и злом, теплом и холодом, богатством и нищетой, жизнью и смертью. Вы можете принять все обстоятельства такими, какие они есть, приспосабливаться к ним, и с ними примиряться, можете избегать крайностей, любой неуверенности и чрезмерного великодушия, думаете и заботитесь не только о других, но также и о себе. 2 хорошие проектировщики и советчики, но не исполнители. Вам требуются соавторы, компаньоны, сотрудники. Но при выборе партнеров пусть разум властвует над чувствами. Двойка наделяет своих хозяев мягкостью и пассивностью, эмоциональностью и физическим здоровьем. Она призывает человека жить желаниями и страстями, провоцирует к эмоциональным расстройствам и депрессиям. Покровительствует женщинам, материнству, психологам, работе с подсознанием и медитациям, а также людям, живущим на ренту и актёрам. Она помогает делать накопления в материальном мире, но не является числом банкиров. Для этих людей очень важен домашний уклад, поэтому их партнеры должны обладать здравым смыслом. Сексуальная страсть может отойти на второй план, уступив место подлинному уважению и любви. Более того, из-за ее отсутствия супружеская жизнь не станет менее счастливой в долгосрочном плане. Это весьма преданные натуры и взамен требуют абсолютной верности. Пока они чувствуют, что их любят, в них нуждаются - все прекрасно, но стоит закрасься сомнениям, они мгновенно начинают ревновать и могут прибегнуть к жестокой мести в своем стремлении сохранить семью.

Эзотерическая интерпретация: число рождения 3

Число дня рождения "3" быстрее всех остальных чисел раскрывает свой характер. У 3 острый и интуитивный разум, способность быстро и легко усваивать знания, часто в весьма раннем возрасте. Вы талантливый человек, способный, но в одиночку не сможете в полной мере использовать свой талант, так как для достижения цели будете выбирать более легкие пути и средства. 3 любит приспосабливаться ко всему, что сулит непосредственную выгоду. Жизнь как таковую предпочитает воспринимать не так уж серьезно. 3 нужны интересные люди, легкое, приятное окружение, постоянные развлечения, возможность жить сегодня, а не в будущем. При верном старте пойдет далеко, так как 3 не сомневаетесь в своих силах, и компетентны в работе. Однако природная нетерпеливость, стремление к легкой деятельности, как и временный быстрый успех в ней, могут помешать вам перейти на другой путь, с более высокими возможностями, там, где предполагается перспективное планирование. Тройка призывает быть привлекательным для другого пола, иногда агрессивным, но неизменно ярким, блистательным, счастливым и удачливым. Покровительствует студентам, военным, хирургам и авантюристам. Таких людей чаще всего привлекают обаятельные представители противоположного пола. У них огромные возможности, чтобы притянуть людей с возбуждающей сексуальной аурой. Но для стабильной семьи требуется гораздо больше, чем просто обаяние. Поэтому они должны полагаться на знание человеческой природы. В молодости многие питают иллюзии в отношении супружества. Им кажется, что все автоматически изменится к лучшему, но после романтики первых месяцев может прийти горькое разочарование. Единственной гарантией прочности брака служит общность интересов партнеров, а также совместное участие в общественной деятельности. При этом любовь и уважение усиливаются.

Эзотерическая интерпретация: число рождения 4

Число дня рождения 4 символизирует уравновешенную, трудолюбивую натуру, осторожную, избегающую рискованных предприятий. Человек способный, со своими идеями, планами, старается разобраться во всем самостоятельно, без посторонней помощи. девиз 4 - надежность, стойкость, честность. 4 нельзя обманывать, но и 4 сама должна избегать самообмана. Если у 4 скромные требования и небольшие цели, то это может стать символом поражения. Но в то же время это число дает 4 прочную основу для дальнейшего развития знаний, профессиональных навыков в различных специальностях. 4 выступает в разных ипостасях: с одной стороны - унылой, нищей, а с другой - крепкой и основательной, не дающей свалиться в пропасть при любых трудностях. Покровительствует писателям, артистам, представителям мелкого и среднего бизнеса, скульпторам, архитекторам и землеустроителям. Помогает в переговорах и налаживании связей. Несмотря на то, что 4 весьма замкнутые люди, почти все они нуждаются в обычной семье и нормальном сексе. Они более других чтят "семейные ценности". Столь надежные и целеустремленные люди считаются хорошей парой. Они обладают большой сексуальной привлекательностью. Редко бывают романтиками. Флирт и секс как таковы их обычно не интересуют. Значение имеет только любовь, к которой они почти всегда относятся очень серьезно, считая брак главной целью. Они идут на него, когда их чувства сильны.

Эзотерическая интерпретация: число рождения 5

Число дня рождения 5 символизирует исполненную энтузиазма натуру, любящую приключения и рискованные мероприятия, склонную ко всему необычному. Вы подвижны, любите поездки и путешествия и везде чувствуете себя как дома. Вы быстры и легко усваиваете иностранные языки, традиции других народов. Часто Ваши действия и поведение оказываются совершенно внезапными и неожиданными, с непредсказуемыми последствиями. При всех затруднениях 5 обычно выходит сухими из воды. Во многом в жизни помогает находчивость и остроумие, жизнерадостность. Любовь к частым переменам может помешать 5 оценить настоящее, увидеть реальные перспективы. 5 всегда устремлены только вперед, хотя иногда им полезно увидеть то, что под рукой. 5 делает человека сексуальным и нервным, авантюрным и подвижным. Побуждает всегда быть на стороне закона, защищать слабых, выявлять любую несправедливость. Пятёрка покровительствует правителям, миссионерам, учителям, философам, юристам, начальникам и путешественникам. В поисках сексуального партнера эти люди обычно проявляют безрассудную смелость и могут заводить множество романов, прежде чем решиться на окончательный шаг. Они любят экспериментировать в этой области и долго занимают выжидательную позицию. Удачным или неудачным будет их брак или интимные отношения зависит от того, в какой степени партнеры понимают друг друга и готовы ли наполнить духовным содержанием свою любовную связь. Их обычно смущает внешнее проявление чувств. Слова играют для них более важную роль, нежели ласки, поцелуи, а иногда и сам секс. Но с годами они понимают, что для гармонии одних слов недостаточно.

Эзотерическая интерпретация: число рождения 6

Натура честная, откровенная, надежная. Взгляды - прогрессивны��, но с желанием создать себе имя, добиться уважения и расположения ��кружающих, поддерживать среди друзей мир и спокойствие, улучшать их жизненные условия. 6 буквально излучает оптимизм и жизнерадостность. Оправдывая доверенную работу или должность, 6 удовлетворяется достигнутым и не стремится к вершинам карьеры или славы. В этом 6 иногда препятствуют самодовольство и самоуспокоенность. Маска бесстрастности 6 не идет, так как не вызывает большой симпатии и дает повод заподозрить лицемерие. Шестерка выдаёт человека неактивного, инертного, любящего домашний уют. Гармонизирует отношения с окружающим миром, но может развить лень и беспринципность, делает человека неконфликтным, но при этом заставляет его много и кропотливо трудиться. Число покровительствует медикам, лабораторным работникам, ювелирам, проектировщикам, мультипликаторам, музейщикам и коллекционерам. Эти люди, как правило, очень сексапильные. Вместе с тем, они ни коем образом не пользуются повсеместно любовью. Материальное соображение играет у них очень важную роль при выборе партнера. Если между супругами не будет сексуальной совместимости и взаимной любви - это станет источником разочарования и даже разрыва отношений. Им стоит более открыто выражать свои чувства и привязанность. Тогда они будут сильнее притягивать к себе партнеров, которые будут на самом деле любить их такими, какие они есть, а не такими, каким они представляются.

Эзотерическая интерпретация: число рождения 7

Число дня рождения 7 символизирует тайну, а также знание. Линию этого противоречия можно продолжить. Здесь возникают такие свойства личности, как старательность и поэтическая душа, правда, с некоторыми странностями, склонность к аналитическому мышлению и сильная интуиция, богатая фантазия, живое, яркое воображение. С этим числом рождаются и воспитываются композиторы и музыканты, литераторы и поэты, философы и затворники, мыслители и отшельники. Их вдохновение требует уединения и одиночества. Более слабых затягивает болото уныния и пессимизма, более сильные становятся яркими личностями, людьми с мировым именем. Семерка вдохновляет мистиков и философов, но делает человека суетливым, немного мрачным, иногда раздражительным и неконтактным. Число, с одной стороны, призывает к одиночеству и творческому затворничеству, выставляет барьеры и ограничения. А с другой стороны, покровительствует браку, сотрудничеству и партнёрству. Поддерживать гармоничные отношения с этими людьми дело нелегкое, особенно если это люди с противоположными характерами: чуткий и чувственный мужчина и менее эмоционально возбудимая женщина или волевая женщина и мужчина, позволяющий ей брать над собой вверх. Счастливому браку с этим людьми способствуют верность, чувство долга, общие интересы и ответственный подход к воспитанию детей.

Эзотерическая интерпретация: число рождения 8

Число дня рождения 8 дает способности к бизнесу, предприимчивость, неустрашимость во всех сферах и областях жизни, особенно в коммерции и индустрии. Устремляясь только вперед, эти люди успешно осуществляют свои планы и намерения, выполняют задуманное: сказывается их воля и сильный характер, способность не жалеть себя и других. А сопротивление, преграды на пути, противники только подхлестывают, усиливают их энергию и работоспособность. У «восьмерок» редкостные административные способности, умение управлять коллективами, увлекая людей за собой. Особенно это проявляется в области политики, на военном поприще, в деловом мире, где они могут быть жестоки и беспощадны. Восьмерка формирует делового материалиста, сильного, со сложным устройством внутреннего мира. Из всех ситуаций человек восьмёрки найдёт выход, никогда не попадёт впросак, всегда будет казаться богаче, чем есть на самом деле. Его жизнь сопряжена с постоянно меняющимися ситуациями, заставляющими принимать неожиданные смелые решения. Восьмёрка вынуждает человека много раз в жизни переходить с одного уровня на другой. Люди восьмёрки стремительно передвигаются по эволюционной лестнице, среди них много Посвящённых. Круг общения этих людей меняется с каждым поворотом судьбы. Если эти люди вступают в ранний брак, их партнерам потребуется огромная выдержка, ибо именно в этот период они полностью захвачены работой и горят желанием добиться поставленных целей. В этом случае они могут разрушить любовные отношения. Поэтому им подходят более поздние браки. К тому времени у них все наладится, и чувства станут более стабильными. В целом, если выбор партнера сделан правильно, эти люди являются верными, любящими супругами, хотя они и привносят в брак некоторые особенности. Кстати, многие из них готовы пожертвовать браком ради карьеры в любом возрасте.

Эзотерическая интерпретация: число рождения 9

Число дня рождения 9 символизирует сильную личность с потенциальным интеллектом, способную к высокому развитию. Здесь успех дарит мир искусства и художеств, артистический талант и творческая, созидательная сила. Таким людям лучше сразу отказаться от профессий коммерсанта, металлурга, военного. Их проблема нередко заключается в осознании своих талантов и способностей и в выборе правильного жизненного пути. Под этим числом дня рождения рождаются и великие изобретатели, и открыватели нового, и музыканты, писатели. Все зависит от способностей и желания. Оба эти фактора следует объединить, направить на одну цель - тогда успех гарантирован. Девятка наделяет человека духовной активностью и способствует высшей мыслительной деятельности. Человек девятки склонен к религиозным откровениям, космическим контактам, синтетическим наукам, самообразованию. Покровительствует композиторам и музыкантам, мореплавателям и поэтам, психологам и гипнотезёрам, писателям и магам. Судьба такого человека может быть изменчивой и непостоянной. Среди людей девятки много революционеров, наркоманов и алкоголиков. Эти люди полностью отдаются любви и страстно желают быть любимыми. Жажда любви у них настолько велика, что они готовы ради нее на что угодно. Большое значение придают атрибутике романтического ухаживания. При этом быстро теряют интерес к объекту своего влечения, если он (или она) долго не поддаются соблазну. Во многих случаях брак с этими людьми удачен, хотя бы потому, что это весьма сексуальные люди. К вопросу нравственности и чистоплотности в сексе они относятся серьезно. Измену прощают, но сразу расстаются с таким партнером навсегда. На некотором этапе эти люди могут захотеть пересмотреть брачные отношения, даже если семья счастлива и между супругами царит любовь. Они захотят узнать, почему любят друг друга. После этого они пожелают каждый день видеть подтверждение любви.

#Birthday number #numerology #нумерология #Эзотерическая интерпретация #дата рождения #Число дня рождения #гороскоп #предназначение #судьба

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diveronarpg · 5 years

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Congratulations, KAITLIN! You’ve been accepted for the role of LAERTES with an approved FC change to KENDRICK SAMPSON. Admin Rosey: Ladies, gents, and all other mob members I am so incredibly happy to announce that we finally have our BAERTES (this is the one and only time I will condone the usage of that nickname). Kaitlin, I am just so incredibly happy that you have brought to us our golden, flawed boy who will likely be the reckoning of us all. You captured the smallest moments so well, where the nuances of his voice crept in and destroyed us all. Verona has longed for the boy with the broken crown who carries the weight of a dead legacy on his shoulders. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Kaitlin.

Age | 21.

Preferred Pronouns | She/her.

Activity Level | You guys should be pretty familiar with my activity by this point, but long story short I tend to wait a few days and then write replies in one fell swoop when they collect! But it definitely varies on my mood.

Timezone | EST.

Current/Past RP Accounts | La principessa, in case you forgot. ;)

In Character

Character | Laertes; Lawrence Federico Vernon. I’d love to use Kendrick Sampson as his FC, but I can roll with Michael if you guys prefer!

What drew you to this character? |

I was really completely head over heels in love with Lawrence the first time I gave his biography a true and proper read through, but the more and more times I’ve read it, I kind of think that I had him all wrong when I first fell in love. Which, I think, is kind of the entire the point. For the sake of avoiding onion metaphors, I’ll just leave it at saying Lawrence is a character with a lot of surprising layers that I didn’t really see the first time around. I think it’s really easy to kind of take him at face value (which to be fair, I think he probably uses his name a lot to make people take him as a god immediately and then uses that preconception of him to bolster his status as a god even further, but that’s besides the point) and say that he’s the golden boy son who was made in his father’s image and is now out for blood because his father has been murdered. That’s the cut and dry of it, and it’s easy to love Lawrence for the cut and the dry. He’s miraculous in that way, sun-haloed and dripping gold, with a tongue like honey and blood like fire, but for all that he was made by his father he is not actually made from his father’s image. He’s been molded and crafted into this kind of Alvise-adjacent sculpture that’s just as clever, just as much a general and a tactician, a politician in every way except for the personal willingness to spill blood for his own cause. I think, if it were his own glory that Lawrence was fighting for, he’s never spill a drop of the stuff. But he is responsible for the ichor that flows in the Montague’s veins, and in his eyes, responsible for the well being of Verona by proxy. And I think it’s kind of easy to miss this disjuncture between him being his father son, and wanting nothing more than to be his father’s son, with the man that he actually is in his marrow. A chaotic good fighting with a lawful good, if you will. And I’m nothing if not a sucker for characters who suffer heavy internal conflict, even if they’re unaware of it, so, here we are.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

GOLD-COLORED BOY. I am just, first and foremost, super interested in connecting Lawrence with an array of people. He is such a people person, entirely someone who has defined himself and his self worth on the things that he can make other people think about him, the ways he can force himself into their lives by making them be unable to stop thinking about him. He’s got this haloed-in-gold and holier-than-thou thing going on, but you kind of have to wonder how much of that is what other people put on him and what he actually projects himself. Obviously it’s some degree of both, but Lawrence has built himself upon other people, upon the things he inspires other people to do. There’s no malintent in his own actions, only this desperate need to embody the tactician that his father is, and so he plays off of others, molds himself into what situations need of him. But there’s this struggle between who he is, the lionheart, and who his father is, the red hand to Damiano’s bloodied crown. So many of the connections that he’s made over the years have been positive in nature where they can be, and violent and fear-driven only where they absolutely must be. An international agent, he is no vagabond, but he is someone who gets restless, and yet? Never reckless. Part of this is conditioning from his father, knowing that anything reckless would result in Alvise’s intervention and likely his call back to the homefront. Part of it though has to just be who Lawrence is. He’s got this unshakeable commitment to doing what he thinks is right, and I’m really interested to see how his commitment to his vision is going to shift now that his father has died and his motivations will have to shift from finding pride to finding revenge. We’re already starting to see the devolution of his rationality with his investment in Cyrus as an informant. His father would tell him that it’s foolish to trust the Capulet’s princeling, that Lawrence should take anything the boy says and assume that near-on the opposite is true, and yet here he is recruiting him anyways. I’m definitely someone who tends to be a lot more intrigued by devolution in my characters than I am in positive revolution, and I’d love to watch some of Lawrence’s long-fought and hard-won connections start to crumble because they start to feel like he isn’t the same man that they met once upon a time.

ORIGINAL SIN. Mistakes certainly take their toll on our characters, but they make writing them all the more fun for us writers, and I am nothing if not in love with writing characters who are riddled with flaws and who allow those flaws to befall them at inopportune moments. For this reason, as much as it might injure Lawrence, I would love nothing more than for him to take his vengeance upon the wrong person. I mean, Lawrence’s soul is bound in gold and honor. What happens to an honor-bound soul when it commits an unforgivable act? When it does something that in the eyes of God and his people can only been seen as dishonorable? I would love for the death of his father to cause this burning need for vengeance in his soul. One of the constant threads though his biography is fire, with him carrying the ‘torch’ of his name and his wanting to “raze” the city to ash for the sake of finding his father’s murderer. He is through and through someone who has been raised to be okay with the committing the dishonorable for the sake of bolstering another family’s name, but at his core he’s very much the golden ‘Lionheart’ character that you all have named him. The first sentence of his bio, after all, is that he was raised to be so much more than he was. Lawrence was born to be the physical embodiment of legacy, of glory, something holy in its unholiness. Like you said, he’s spent his life taking direction from his father, conditioning himself into being the man that his father needs him to be, and without the sort of guiding hand constantly reminding him that there’s honor to be found in the dishonorable, in deceit and betrayal, that fire and glory go hand in hand, I can’t wait to see how this dishonor takes hold in his heart. Like you said, when all is said and done, funeral pyres and prayers will be the only thing to keep Verona warm when he is through with it–does this not apply to himself? Will he not have to hold a funeral for the man his father turned him into? Or will, in this loss, he find himself turning into Alvise himself? Lose himself in his loss and his grief and his need to have his father as his guiding light?

O’ DESSA, MY DESSA. Those Vernon’s. Their hearts on on their sleeves, in their eyes, in their throats—choking them to death. They use their hearts like weapons, wield their passions like anger and teach their love to feed their wrath, spit venom from their left ventricles and use aorta to pump cunning through to each vein. I’m fascinated by them, almost as equally as they are both fascinated with human hearts. What makes them beat. What makes them break. What can they use against their enemies that might allow those Vernon’s to sink their canines through a left atrium into the right. They both know the strength of the human heart, know how it has defined their own lives, and I think that makes them uniquely capable of using other people’s own hearts against them. But Lawrence doesn’t really see this, no matter its truth. They are both wracked with grief, but both of them know how to use their emotions to their own advantage, and I’d love to see them working together to do just that. Lawrence is so blinded by his heart right now, so completely slave to its angers and its passions and I’m interested to see how that will color his interactions with Odessa. He’s got this ‘my sister, my responsibility’ thing that I’m a total sucker for, but Odessa has no need for his protection, has a heart in her chest that beats as strongly as his own. They are made of the same marrow, yet where he could see cunning, instead he sees softness. Firstly, I can’t imagine Odessa really allowing him to feel this way, can’t imagine her allowing him to keep her small any longer. For God’s sake, he’s been gone for months now, gone traveling to build and bolster relationships and he left her behind. The rational part of him knows that she is capable, knows that she can take care of herself, but I think a big part of him feels like he’s just lost his father and the thought of Odessa putting herself in harm’s way to avenge their father is something he cannot even begin to fathom. And yet—I want nothing more than for Lawrence to overcome his misconceptions, to let go of those wings he’s tried to clip and give them back to her. Better yet, make her snatch them from his grasp and make him see his sister’s heart is equally as much a force of nature as he is.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Bitch…. I might be. (Honestly tho, like, give the guy a break!!!)

In Depth

In-Character Interview: I wrote a para sample, so I’ve only done two of these, but if y’all want more since my para sample isn’t modern, then you’re more than welcome to tell my ass to stop being lazy and ask for them. Anyways!!!

Curled around him like a vine, Lawrence runs his hand through the tips of the girls hair and revels in the quiet moment of after-sex, in the warmth of having another human in his bed. There’s nothing like it, the soft moments of the after, the tender calming moments that come with having shared your body with someone else.

“Tell me about yourself,” she says, and ruins everything. “What do you do all day when you’re not meeting with my uncle?”

Lawrence sighs at the girl’s question, wishes that he hadn’t let her curl herself into his side, but there was something about the human contact that he hadn’t been able to deny. With her head resting on the juncture between his arm and his shoulder, he can feel her breath warm on his skin, and feel strands of her brown hair tickling the skin at the base of his neck. What only moment ago had felt like such a comfort suddenly feels like suffocation, feels like something that should make him run.

But he’s a general. And general’s don’t run.

“Your uncle’s not the only man I work with, you know,” he responds carefully, avoiding her question. He has no desire to discuss his daily routine with the family of one of his clients; even if they aren’t an enemy but an ally, it’s always better to keep your life safeguarded from prying eyes. “Besides, I’d so much rather talk about what you do with those beautiful hands of yours all day than the many tedious business meetings I attend.”

He blushes, and it pulls at something in his abdomen.

He distracts her with stars, makes them shine behind her eyes until he draws that blush across her whole body.

–

Lawrence has just finished securing a new client on the Eastern Russian coast when the client asks him the unholy question, dares to cross a line that he doesn’t yet have the right to cross.

“Tell me, son,” and Lawrence pretends that being called son doesn’t set his teeth on edge; he is not this man’s blood, and he has no interest in being as such. “This war between you and your, how you say, fellow Veronesi brothers, what do you think of it?”

Lawrence can’t help but pause for a moment when the client asks this, partly because he has dared to ask it, and more so because he can feel himself wanting to shiver at the thought of a Capulet being called his brother. Lawrence is surprised by the question, to be sure, but he tightens his jaw the way that his father taught him so many years ago and looks his clients dead in the eyes. “I assure you, генеральный, you have nothing to worry about from my home front. They won’t touch you.”

“I don’t need to be assured you won’t let them get their hands on my business, gonfaloniere. If I had doubts, I would not agree to work with you.” Lawrence resists the urge to furrow his brows together, presses his tongue to the roof of his mouth to keep his face free of confusion and anger alike. “I asked how you feel about your war.”

Lawrence considering silence in the way of an answer, but something makes him want to reply.

“War is not the word I would use for it, just the Capulets wishing they had the kind of reach that we Montague’s do and being angry that they do not. There’s a reason you’re here talking to me and not some Capulet принцесса. I avoid paying the Capulets any mind; they are not worth my time. I hope that is answer enough for you.”

The general raises his glass in answer, and Lawrence answers him in kind.

They both drink to their dishonesty.

(the two russian words used here are general and princess, respectively.)

In-Character Para Sample;

Lawrence Vernon is sixteen the first time he becomes aware that his father will stop at no one when it comes to manipulation, not even his own son.

He is playing a game of football with some boys from school, an unorganized team that is mostly made up of boys with too much time on their hands and too little to do with them, boys with restless hearts and reckless souls who want nothing more than to find approval in every glance that gets cast their way, who want nothing more than for people to tell them that they are great–some, in spite of it all. It’s Alvise’s idea his son join, encourages him one afternoon when he gets home to eat dinner with his children, tells him over a bowl of bolognese that he saw a group of boys his age playing and he should think about joining them next time.

Lawrence, never wanting to disappoint, joins the next day.

The boys in his class always loved him, revered him like a god walking, each and every person in Verona knowing in their heart of hearts that the Vernon boy was someone you want in your corner. Among them is a boy with golden hair and a heart like steel, and at first meeting Lawrence dislikes him with a kind of vehemence that he can’t understand. Lionhearts do not call to other lionhearts, and their souls were made of the same. Alvise disapproves the first time that Lawrence complains about the other.

The Cesari boy? His father asks him, and when Lawrence nods yes, his father speaks again. You are as powerful as who you surround yourself with, he says, and smiles something otherworldly when Lawrence’s chest swells with shame. Even if you dislike him, do not discredit him.

The boy was the son of a wealthy man who owned vineyards across northern Italy. Everyone knew it, knew about the gold that lined their pockets and the glory that belonged in their bones, every if they were still new money and Verona was built on something ancient. Lawrence decides to give the golden hair boy another chance, and when he does he finds that somehow their golden halos can come together into something miraculous, something like being understood.

One night, they sneak out of their houses and go for drinks at a local bar, and both are leaning on each other by the end of the night, spilling secrets and fears and other things that would make them anything less than gods.

“We’re broke,” the boy says, leaning his head back against the metal fence the pair of them are propped up against.

“No way,” Lawrence replies, turning to look at his friend. The other boy just closes his eyes and nods his head. “No way.”

“My father he just…” the boy trails off for a moment and shakes his head. “Made some bad calls, bought some new lands, and they turned out to be duds. The wine? Terrible. Thirteen year olds wouldn’t even buy the shit those grapes produced.”

“Yeah, but the other vineyards are still producing, right?”

“Yeah, but profits from those paid for the new land, and then he took out debts looking for more new land that would offset those bad purchases, and now he’s just saving face and praying no one at the banks notices what deep shit he’s in before he can figure out a way to make back the money he took out. He thought maybe this harvest season would help, but,” the boy hiccups, and swallows before going on again. “But there’s some competitor I guess who’s edging him out and my dad can barely afford to keep himself afloat, much less ward off competition.”

Lawrence is silent.

“So, we’re fucked,” the boy says finally, then laughs. “Fucked. Such an American curse. It tastes so good.”

Lawrence brings a hand to cover his mouth, almost wants to hang his head for feeling for his friend.

“And your dad couldn’t use the land he bought for anything else?” He asks, lifting his head to look at the other boy.

He just smiles at Lawrence, shakes his head and then waves him off with a fling of his left hand.

“We’ll figure something out,” then a short pause. “We have to.”

They go back to laughing after that, to discussing their team’s win against another local one, to pushing and shoving each other about the pretty redhead that had stopped to watch their game, arguing over who she was really staring at.

The next day Alvise Vernon calls his son into his office before dinner, and Lawrence walks in casually, not apprehensive in the way he should be. He strides into the office without announcement, his shoulders straight and his smile wide.

“You wanted to see me, Father?”

Looking up from the documents before him, Alvise actually looks happy to see his son. It makes something like pride dance across Lawrence’s skin, and he knows that he would do anything he asked of him.

“I hear that you’ve made a new friend,” his father says, and Lawrence laughs, unimpeded.

“Yes, I suppose I have,” he replies, raising his eyebrows. “But how did you hear about it?”

“When you earn the right to know my sources, then I’ll tell you,” Alvise says, a wolf’s grin painted across his face. “Now, I thought you said that you disliked the Cesari boy. You said he was, I believe your direct words were, a ‘pompous ass.’”

Something about seeing his father use air quotes around ‘pompous ass’ sends Lawrence into a fit of laughter.

“I guess I did say that, yes,” he says, still laughing, a hand pressed against his stomach. “And I stand by it. Cesari is a righteous little shit, but now I know he’s a righteous little shit who’s terrified of the future, and that makes me feel better about the whole thing.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Just something he said about his dad.”

“His father? Why would his father make him fearful of the future?” Alvise asks, the tone of their conversation sobering slightly as his brows furrow. “He owns one of the most successful new conglomerates of wineries in Northern Italy.”

Lawrence pauses only a moment before answering. “They’re bankrupt,” he says, pressing his lips together and tilting his head to the side as he raises his shoulders as if to say what can you do?

“How?”

“He made some bad investments, took out loans to pay off the investments thinking his current properties would turn enough profit to pay them off, but I guess the harvest wasn’t great and there’s a new guy on the market selling better product or something. Ergo, bankruptcy. They’re trying to hide it from the bankers and the papers long enough to pay off the debts, but like I said, Cesari’s terrified.”

Alvise purses his lips, then stands up from behind his desk, slowly walking around the edge of it.

“I’m sorry to hear it,” he says, and comes to stand before his son. “I’m glad he had you to listen to.”

He walks away before Lawrence can respond, and though the sentiment brings a slight smile to his cheeks, he can’t help but feel something twist in the bottom of his stomach at the way his father said it.

He doesn’t realize until two days later that he should have listened to his gut.

CESARI EMPIRE CRUMBLES read the headlines, and the shiner Lawrence wears on his cheek, courtesy of a boy who was once his friend and could be no longer, feels like a brand when he storms into the Capital Library in search of one Alvise Vernon, feels like a brand that he deserves.

“You used me!” he shouts, pushing open the door to his father’s second office, caring little for the soldier seated across the desk. A single glance from Alvise is enough to send the young woman running from the room, but Lawrence barely looks at her, honor and loyalty battling for dominance in his chest. He cannot believe that his father would use him in this way, would compromise his son’s honor in such a way, but there’s a part of Lawrence that can never question Alvise, a part of him that would just nod his head if his father were to telling him that murder is no sin.

“Elio Cesari and his money were gaining power,” Alvise starts, leaning back in his chair and placing his elbows on the armrests, the picture of ease. “Perhaps you don’t understand this yet, but power isn’t an unlimited resource, and his posed a threat to some of our allies. Yes, I encouraged you to befriend his son in the hopes that he might give you the information we needed to remove him from the playing field, but Cesari’s misfortunes are self-inflicted. I did not have a hand in his poor investments; it’s not my fault if the man doesn’t have a head for business and just got lucky with his first few. Beginner’s luck has no place at our table.”

“And what about my honor, father? You’ve made my word worthless with this, my friendship worthless,” Lawrence starts, feeling like something inside of him is cracking apart with every word. It goes against everything he has ever known to question his father in such a way.

“Oh, stop that,” Alvise says sharply, shaking his head. “This isn’t about you.”

Lawrence opens his mouth to reply, but Alvise shoots him a look that silences him.

“This is about something much bigger than you,” he says, knitting his hands together before him. Lawrence is still standing, but he can feel some of the tension easing from his shoulders, some of the fight in him dying. The longer he is here, the longer he looks at his father and listens, the less able he is to think of him as the enemy.

Alvise Vernon always had been, and always would be, his version of a savior.

“This is about what was right for Verona, Lawrence, about what Damiano and all the other Montague’s needed. Don’t you understand that yet? This is what we are made for, for doing bad things to ensure that something else good can happen. Verona can’t afford to be led by men who cannot handle their own businesses, and that’s what would have happened had we allowed the Cesari’s to continue lying about their profits.”

Lawrence sits down finally in the chair across from his father, the one that had previously been occupied by a young woman terrified of the man before her. Lawrence could only find awe, awe and terror. And is not that we are afraid of not also beautiful? Does it not also captivate?

“It’s hurt you, to sacrifice the Cesari boy’s friendship, but know that it was done for the good of our people. I’m proud of you for that.”

And that’s when Lawrence crumbles finally, lets go of all of his anger and his hurt and his feelings of betrayal. It’s then that he finally understands.

“Legacies are what make families great, boy,” Alvise Vernon says to his son, staring at the young man from behind the mahogany desk. His gaze is hard, nothing soft or conciliatory about it. He rules Verona with iron in his heart and in his fists and he rules his children the same way. “They are bigger than men, far bigger than any individual. The Vernon name has been alive since long before you or I, and if you lead our family in the ways I teach you in the coming years, then it shall be around long after you or I as well. What happened to the Cesari’s is one lesson I hope you will remember.”

And Lawrence never forgets.

Extras:

Mockblog

A disorganized collection of headcanons.

i. Once there was a young boy, a slight and thin thing that begged for a nickname, begged for something, anything, that might be less of a mouthful than Lawrence. Every time that he tried to slip out of his name and into something else though his father would give him a hard look that spoke more volumes than the young boy ever wanted to interpret. The best he ever came up with was Wren, and for weeks at scuola primaria he got away with it, but then his teacher sent a letter home about ‘Wren’ hitting another student and that was the last straw.

The boy father sat his son down and stared at him hard in the eyes, not for the first time and certainly not the last, and said something that would stay with the young boy for the rest of his life.

“Perception is power, Lawrence. Do you not know that? Have I not taught you this well enough yet?”

“But Papá, it’s just a name–” the young boy starts, but is interrupted by his father immediately.

“There’s weight in a name, son. I named you Lawrence for a reason–don’t ever let anyone make you something you are not, including yourself. Our lives are built on our name; they define who we are, who we might become. The names we surround ourselves with are equally as important. You, my son? You are named for the Saint Laurence of Rome, who refused to turn over gold and riches to the Pope and instead presented him with the people who the Church had been instructed to help–the poor and the disabled, the faithful who had lost faith. To bear your name means that you understand your purpose, sometimes better even than the people who have given you this purpose. We Vernons are the hands used to defend our chosen people. The Montagues lead this city, and it is our God-given mission to stand beside them and make their rule possible. If you must choose a nickname, then be called Vernon, for nothing else would do you justice.”

The young boy could only look at his father with wide eyes, but his shoulders stay straight. The father puts his hands on either of the young boy’s shoulders and bends down so that they are at eye level.

“What’s your name?” the father asks, after a long pause.

“Lawrence Vernon.”

The father smiles then, a half-life thing that paints only the left side of his face in warmth, like even with his child he cannot afford to show kindness, to show softness. The boy doesn’t understand this now, but later, when the father is gone, he will. He places a cold palm on his son’s cheek, pats it gently and says “Good.”

And with that he takes his leave.

ii. Lawrence has three different degrees, two from Oxford and one from Cambridge, just for some balance, all of which he did residencies abroad for and completed on accelerated timelines. One he did in Berlin, while he was studying Organizational Psychology. The second was in France, for while he was studying Political Science. The last, and his favorite, was being abroad in Tokyo while he studied Economics. During all of these pursuits of higher education, Lawrence was simultaneously courting and securing new clients across the globe, and reassuring and reaffirming relationship with clients they already had at the same time.

iii. Lawrence’s sense of dress and style was always a point of contention between him and Alvise, who frequently and loudly disapproved of the garb Lawrence chose to don, but it was the singular thing he constantly held his own ground on. He has a strange affinity for hawaiian shirts and other strange forms of decadence, like the gold necklace with a tiny version of the hands from The Creation of Adam painting he sometimes hangs around his neck, or the ornate guns with paintings of saints on them that he loves to buy even though they usually less accurate than the high-grade weapons the mob buys (what his gun lacks, he decides to make up for in personal skill, call it a challenge). He puts on a suit when he must, but it’s usually Gucci or highly stylized Dolce & Gabbana. He likes texture and the ornate, and he won’t let anyone take that away from him.

iv. Her name grows unimportant with time, but the way she lingers in Lawrence’s bones does not change. He is eighteen and on his first solo mission abroad, with war and strategy in his marrow but youth in his blood, when what should be a standard check in with foreign clients in France turns into a month long stay for fear of losing them to a local distributor. He wears the weight of expectation heavy on his broad shoulders and has never once bowed to it, never once stumbled beneath its weight, but for the first and last time a girl will make him question his name.

A girl with her head in the clouds and her feet securely on the ground beneath her feet, she smiles like the sun and it makes his heart sing, blinds him every moment that he stumbles across her path. They meet when he finds out that one of his new enemies is the husband of a local artist and he goes into the man’s studio only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight of a woman sitting in the center of the room, a white sheet covering some parts of her, but many not, and when she looks at him it feels like a fire has ignited in his blood, slowly burning away the expectation and the name in his marrow.

They fuck in the room the artist rents to her above the studio that night, and Lawrence stops caring about the world of wars that feels a million miles away, like it’s in another country, in another time, in another life.

Alvise sends men to help Lawrence secure their clients wallets once and for all when he goes silent for over a week, but they report that his strategist son has fallen for a peasant girl. Alvise bids them pay her weight in gold, and Lawrence Vernon comes home, his heart left behind in France where a peasant girl hadn’t even bothered to kiss him goodbye.

Once upon a time there was a girl who he would give away his name for; there never was again.

#accepted: laertes #accepted

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