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callsign-rogueone · 1 month

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study season

fourth wing characters (Aaric, Bodhi, Brennan, Dain, Garrick, Imogen, Liam, Mira, Rhiannon, Ridoc, Sawyer, Sloane, Violet, and Xaden) x reader the ways our faves help you study for exams. words: ~900 🏷: no book spoilers, no triggers. gender neutral. and I included the girls this time!! some of these can be read as platonic and others mention kisses / cuddles, implying you’re a couple. idk, I just work here. I’m really liking this format lately, and it’s (fairly) quick and easy so you can expect more of these in the future while I procrastinate all the girlfriendverse chapters and smut I have to write lol

First, the more studious of the bunch:

Brennan is all-in, no hesitation, pulling up a chair next to you and learning this with you for moral support, but also for fun (can you believe this guy?) though you suppose it’s easier to enjoy this if it doesn’t count for a grade. Either way, he’s a very nice study partner, and he encourages you to take breaks every hour / chapter / etc. Brings snacks, too.

Violet somehow already knows all of the material, and explains it better than the textbook or the professor. Walks things back if you don’t get it and gets into the why and how, which so many teachers skip over, even though it helps explain the what (pet peeve of mine showing here lol).

Aaric’s study skills are unmatched -- years of the best private tutors money can buy really paid off. Teaches you new strategies that you’ve never heard of in your life, and when you ask, he admits a bit shyly that he came up with it himself, but it works, and you get it done in half the time you would have before. (work smarter, not harder, baby)

Rhiannon gives you the pep talk of your life (we all need a Rhiannon in our lives) and convinces you that you’ve got this. Packs you a little snack for the day of your exam with a little note reminding you that you know this, just breathe and think.

Xaden sees you struggling and forces you to take a break. During said break, he’s reading the book himself and figuring out what exactly has you so stressed and exhausted. Breaks down the tasks into smaller, more manageable steps and guides you through it -- “find three reasons why XYZ happened.” done with that? “Now make them into paragraphs.” etc etc, and an hour later, you have a passable essay.

Dain is taking this more seriously than you are, and his discipline is like no other; you’re not stopping until the work is done, or until midnight, whichever comes first (because sleep is important for the brain, or whatever. Definitely not just because he misses you and wants to cuddle).

Garrick may have no idea what you’re talking about, but he suffers through it with you, offering to let you explain things to him, because teaching is a good way to test if you understand something. Though you get what you pay for -- he’s a total smartass about it, asking questions about the littlest details even if they’re common knowledge -- he’s gotta be thorough, right?

Ridoc may be the class clown type, but he’s smarter than a lot of people think. He comes up with a bunch of jokes that actually help you remember things. Somehow manages to relate the most complex topic in your book to a sandwich, and it actually works. He’s incredibly smug about this for the rest of the week, especially when you get the highest score in the class (he’ll take payment in kisses, thank you.)

Bodhi makes flashcards with you, quizzing you and giving you a kiss if you get it right (this definitely is not a distraction, and things definitely don’t escalate from here, nope.) He’s also really good at proofreading essays, and gives excellent feedback regarding the structure and the order of the information.

Liam sits there with you all the while, completely silent, working on one of his wood carvings at the other end of the table, but you know he’s there and he’s watching -- and that provides a healthy amount of peer pressure and keeps you on task. He’s an incredibly observant person, and he can see the stress building; he knows when to intervene and suggest that you take a break.

Sloane is the best person to commiserate with. She doesn’t want to be doing this either, but she’s also incredibly stubborn, and she doesn’t give up; after a healthy amount of complaining, she’s forcing you both to keep trying until it works / until it’s done, and then you’re treating yourselves to something for getting it over with, because you deserve it.

Sawyer is gentle and supportive, having a heart-to-heart conversation with you and reminding you that yes, this is important, but the world will not stop turning if you fail one exam. He knows how it feels to be compared to his peers, especially in how long it takes you to accomplish something (poor bb) and doesn’t want you stressing yourself out about that, either.

Imogen is the opposite, all tough love, giving you gentle but firm reminders: “you didn’t make it this far just to give up,”, “I know you can do this, so do it,” but she balances it out with tender affirmation when you’re done. She’ll even let you skip out on training for the day since you’ve been studying so hard (and she takes training seriously, so this is more of a reward than it seems).

Mira’s default approach is similar to Imogen’s, but she can see that you’re reaching your limit and dials it back, being more gentle with you and doing whatever you need -- encouragement? someone to just sit there? help / explanation / etc? she’s got you covered. herds you into bed at a reasonable hour so you’ll be well rested for the classes and exams.

And all of them are incredibly proud of you for working so hard and getting good grades 🤍

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starburstgalexies · 1 year

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🌻💞☯️ for the fic writer ask game? feel free to only answer one :)

full list here 🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

Lack of reactions makes me want to give up. I have this sentiment where the difference between actually making an effort to create and just keeping them in my mind is the knowledge that even one (1) person is happy it exists. Because, otherwise, it's all the same whether or not I share it, right? I am a little attention whore like that, but I am low-budget, because as long as there is one person I know reads it, I am inspired. That's why it's good for me to have a best friend who would read anything I write.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

Characters, for sure. I am into multiple works of fiction that are not objectively very good but has something that interests me, and it's usually through the characters, though they tend to go hand in hand with worldbuilding. Grammar is a fast indicator in a pinch too - sure, it doesn't have to be perfect, you might not even be writing in your native language, but there is a difference between not understanding and not caring, and repetitive mistakes has a way of showing which one it is. And if it's the latter, well, why should I care about your story if you yourself don't care about it?

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

Honestly, if you've been in fandoms even a little, you can see it can go either way. It can be healthy with encouragements, creative challenges, inspirations... and unhealthy with an abundance of opinions, limitations specific to online culture, pissing off wrong people getting you all but blacklisted as an artist. You gotta have a strong mindset and knowledge to curate your experience to make the most of it. As for the last part of the question, most of the time fandom is a bunch of anonymous people you have on your dashboard, so you can be as antisocial as you want through wordless feedback; likes, kudos, reblogs, even commenting a lil '!!!'. But if you actually want a large friend circle, I am not the right person to ask. I am not good at being social, so it sucked when I actually wanted to be social in TGAA circles, but you also kinda gotta suck it up and wait until you get over it.

#thank you. i hope you know that i go 🥺 whenever i get prompt asks #alex has answered #ask meme

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writing-prompt-s · 3 years

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Hey there! First time anon asker, long time follower. I appreciate all the work you do for this blog. Just want to keep the conversation going about the Edison quote you retweeted, on "giving up" versus "knowing when to stop." Though Edison sucks as some comments pointed out, I happen to agree with the quote to an extent. I'm curious to know more about your experience. First, some background for my opinion: I work as a student tutor for fellow college students. One of the biggest things we learn as tutors is how to encourage students NOT to give up when they face a challenge. Lots of people, especially first-gen college students, give up when they're struggling in class because they assume they're "not smart enough" or something along those lines, when research and my personal experience show that that's not true. They are able to change their school habits and seek out help, but only if they already have a mindset where they believe they can do it. Those who don't believe in themselves are less likely to seek help and thus, more likely to fail. Students might also drop out of college or get bad grades because of things outside of their control, like losing their job or other difficulties that make it hard for them to continue at college. This is also an issue because some (not all) colleges have programs to help students during difficult times, but many students don't even try, they just drop out. I have benefitted from some of these programs personally, so even though they can't cure everything, these programs should be considered when a student is struggling. And sometimes, dropping out of college IS the best decision for a person, whether they intend to return later or go a different path. It's just that for many students, they don't have to give up on their education/career goals because of the hardships they're currently trying to work through, but they believe that there's nothing else they can do. The solution may be out there, but they "give up" because they didn't look for it. As a tutor, that's why phrases like "don't give up!" are so important for the people I work with. Not because college is for everyone or that people should sacrifice their well-being for a degree, but because students (again especially first generation college students, students of color, and low income students) have such low confidence in themselves and their ability to learn and grow through obstacles. The Edison quote wasn't about college, but I'm using my experience as a college student and tutor as a more concrete example of why the Edison quote could be useful. College student or not, I think having a "don't give up" attitude can get you through some hard times. So all of this is to preface my question: in your opinion, how can we know the difference between a healthy, "I will do everything I can to meet my goals" situation and an unhealthy, "I will sacrifice everything" situation? Sorry for this lengthy ask btw, if you don't want to respond I completely understand. Just hoping to hear your insight to the topic more. Thanks for this blog and for sharing your thoughts! -S

Hey S!

Read “The Dip” by Seth Godin. It counts about 80 pages but reads like 30. I highly recommend reading it and using the ideas in guiding your students. When you read it, it’s mostly common sense with a bit of oh damn, nice! But sometimes common sense needs to be conceptualized, made concrete, or put into context, and this little book does just that.

The main idea is to know if you should quit or persevere during ‘a dip’ by forecasting the probability of success and take costs/rewards into account.

However, this might not be everyone’s best skill, so some people might need practice or guidance. As Ray Dalio points out in his book ‘Principles’, everyone is wired differently. Just as our bodies come in different shapes and sizes, so do the compositions of our brains. Some people might have weak bones or naturally have lots of muscle mass. Others might regulate emotions well, or are weak at visualizing the future. (By the way, neuroscience tells us we can shape and improve our brains!)

The different compositions of our brains also affects communication between people. Everyone encodes and decodes information differently, and then also gets filtered through one’s own life experiences. So advice such as ‘first seek to understand, then to be understood’ is paramount before encouraging people to ‘not give up.’ If the other person doesn’t feel that you completely understand their situation, saying that actually might work counter-productive!

In my opinion, in most cases 'don’t give up!’ is a good motto for college students. You know what to expect from college. If you do x you will get x. If you stick through the dip (time spend getting good grades), you will get the reward (degree). However, as you point out, some students might face additional stress outside of college, or society might already have put them at a disadvantage. It might just become too much. You helping and encouraging students who are at a disadvantage is incredibly helpful. As humans, we are naturally wired to be interdependent. We cannot do everything by ourselves, nor should we want to. We thrive on meaningful relationships and social connections.

So where is the line between healthy and unhealthy? That’s actually a very tough question. Most people tend to think of life as a journey, always trying to get somewhere, trying to achieve something. It would mean telling people how to live their life and I have no clue. Of course, if in trying to get to your goal your body shows signs of it being unhealthy, stop or take a break. Stress is good, but not to the point where you break down. Self-management is key. Overall I would say it’s healthy if your values align with the process to achieve the goal, the goal, and the consequences of achieving it. But then again, always be realistic. Quitting frees up time, energy and other resources that can be spend on achieving a different, perhaps more rewarding/meaningful/attainable goal.

An attempt at a more concrete answer would be:

It’s impossible to generalize what is healthy and what is unhealthy as everyone has a different idea of what that is and is living their own complex life. Therefore, on a case-by-case basis, people should be taught to take a step back sometimes, contemplate what they are doing, analyse it, be open-minded, seek help from (qualified) people and ask for feedback and advice, and then make up their minds themselves whether what they are doing is healthy or not.

As @zeadtalost said in the comments: “Man’s gotta know his limitations”. But then I would like to add to it that ‘man’ should not be fool enough never to test what they believe to be their limitations. Because what you say is true. Often limitations are in the mind, and overcoming them is what will make people more confident and capable! So please keep doing what you are doing. I doubt you find this a concrete answer, but I am pretty sure the book by Seth Godin will help you lots! Also, by the length of your ask I can tell you are very dedicated and a compassionate tutor, and it’s your caring attitude that will give your students the best chance of succeeding!

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deborahmessingsfingers · 3 years

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I’m Tired

pairings: bo burnham x reader

word count: 3283

tags/warnings: explicit language, mental health issues, mental breakdown, angst, hurt/comfort, sad Bo, gender neutral reader

also on ao3

Bo had been off for a while. He’d only been working on the special for a few months when you noticed the first sign. He started to talk a little less, which at first glance, you weren’t too worried about. He often became quite reclusive and introspective when it came to his writing process, channeling all of his energy into planning and drafting.

It’d happened before, when he was in the early stages of producing Eighth Grade. Conversation grew thin and infrequent, all of his time and energy was spent planning, writing and ruminating, though as the process progressed from writing to filming, his sparkle returned and you could see the life and excitement dancing around in his eyes once more.

Since he started Inside, you were lucky if you got to see his eyes at all.

At first, he’d come bouncing back from the guest house each evening, excited to discuss his latest ideas and concepts, eager to receive your feedback and the fresh perspective you gave.

This routine was quick to disappear.

Every day, he’d come back from the guest house a little later and a little more deflated until your interactions were limited to a kiss good morning and a kiss good night.

Eventually he stopped coming to bed all together. You never went into the guest house so as not to disturb his flow, but you assumed he’d taken to sleeping on the fold-out couch. You’d hoped he was sleeping at least, for the sake of his well being.

You missed him. God, you missed him, more than you ever thought possible. Despite the fact that he was a mere few feet away from your front door, you felt more distanced from him now than the times he’d been on the other side of the country, touring, performing, and seeing the world.

He’d always been like that. Limitations in physical proximity could only wedge such a divide between you two, it was always the inner demons and anxieties that caused the rifts.

You attempted to rip the bandaid off after a month of the same, silent routine. You anxiously approached the guest house with the best olive branch you had available; a peanut butter sandwich and a cup of coffee. Your free hand knocked on the door of the guest house tentatively, not wanting to disturb him in the middle of something.

No answer.

You knocked again, still quietly, but with more intention.

No answer.

You shakily grasped the doorknob and twisted, your mind flicking through every dreadful outcome. Opening the door, you see one outcome you didn’t quite anticipate.

The room was dark and humid, the space overwhelmingly cluttered with miscellaneous cords, lights and stands.

And in the middle of all of the chaos, he was just… sitting there.

Hunched over the keyboard in the corner of the room. He just sat and stared at the keys, his white-knuckled fists resting on his thighs. You immediately noticed just how long his hair had grown, long enough to cover his eyes, the rest of his face hidden in it’s shadows. He appeared completely immersed in his own world, clearly missing all your attempts at grabbing his attention.

“Bosey,” you said, your tone just short of a whisper, head cocking to the side to see him a little better from the doorway. Bo inhaled sharply as his head turned to face you, seemingly pulled from his thoughts. His brow was quick to furrow.

“What’re you doing in here?” he asked. His voice was raspy and hoarse, not unlike how it sounded first thing in the morning. It reminded you so much of all the mornings spent waking up next to him, often in his arms, spending hours upon hours talking until noon about anything and everything, at least until you were cast out of your cloud of bliss by your worldly responsibilities. God, how you missed those moments.

“I thought I’d just come check on you. Didn’t think you’d eaten anything in a while so,” you paused, setting the peace offering down with a quiet clink, “thought I’d make myself useful.”

You smiled, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes, and his thanks was expressed simply by mirroring your unconvincing grin. He tutted, running his hands through his hair, as he often did when nervous. You could tell he was exhausted; the bags under his eyes were so dark and he could hardly make conversation with the one person who knew him best.

The air was thick with tension, the awkwardness quickly made you both uncomfortable and your head was reeling with anxieties on how you wound up feeling like this; like an unwelcome stranger in your own guest house.

“You been sleeping okay?” you asked, hand gently gesturing to the fold-out couch behind him as you lent against the doorframe. You felt slight comfort at the sight of tangled bedsheets, though the relief was quickly expunged as you lost count of the wires and equipment covering the mattress.

“Y-Yeah, i’ve been... It’s fine,” he sighed, his large hand wrapping around his jaw to scratch the sides of his beard, “I’m just a little busy right now honey, I-I gotta get back to it.”

His hands slapped his thighs matter-of-factly before he stood up, shuffling towards the back of the room. He began to fiddle with equipment, pointlessly messing around with a tangle of cords he’d picked up from the kitchen bench.

Your eyes instinctively closed shut as you felt a wave of dizziness hit you. His avoidant nature and impatience all but confirmed it; he was not doing well.

You felt incredibly and painfully torn. You knew him better than he knew himself sometimes, but if there was one thing you were both unsure of, it was how to handle situations like these. Pressing any harder would only prove to make him snap, though leaving him to his own devices would only further encourage his bad habits.

You could ruminate on this dilemma for the rest of your life to no avail, but an instinct deep within you pushed you to query just a little more, to try and reach out as gently as you could.

“Have you thought about, um…” you faltered, scrambling to find the right words, “taking a break soon, honey? Even just a little one? I know how important this is to you, but I know in the past you’ve burnt yourself out, and maybe even if you just came inside for a shower, just to reset and maybe just-”

“I said I’m fine.” he interjected harshly. You were caught off guard, now feeling sheepish and bewildered, truly feeling like an intruder. You kicked yourself inwardly for pushing too far, you knew this would happen. You opened your mouth to try and apologise, to take back the supposed infringement, but his voice came through when your own refused.

“I’m about to start filming. Could you…” he asked, hoping you’d get the message and leave without having to ask you explicitly. You were too befuddled to push any further, already regretting the attempts you’d made.

“Of course, sorry honey.” you replied, shaking your head. Your lips pressed together in a tight, forced smile until you left and shut the door behind you. The slam was enough to bring tears to your eyes.

You shook your head to try and clear it, trying with all your might to move on from the incident and figure out a plan moving forward.

He said he was fine.

You knew he wasn’t.

There were a few times you thought it was all going to be okay. Shortly after the guest house dispute, you were surprised by the sound of the back door being opened. He greeted you with a tired smile and you quickly snaked your arms around him, holding on to him for dear life, telling yourself you’d never let go again.

He sat with you in the kitchen, peacefully watching you cook. You could tell he missed your company just by the soft smile on his face, the first one you had seen in a long time, and you beamed at the very sight of him sitting contently with Bruce on his lap. There wasn’t much conversation over dinner, though compared to earlier, the awkwardness was nonexistent. Until dessert.

You wanted to pull out all the stops, utilising every second of this rare quality time to enjoy his company and to show him how much difference a few hours of luxury and relaxation can make.

You left him lounging on the couch to make his favourite dessert - sticky toffee pudding with vanilla ice cream. You were so relieved you could scream at just the simple thought of him zoning out in front of the television with the dogs, truly letting himself just be, for the first time in a long time.

When the pudding was ready however, your cheesy grin quickly dropped as you realised you were presenting dessert to an empty room. The dogs were quick to start barking, running back and forth between yourself and the back door, and you nearly dropped the plates at the sound of that heinous shed door closing once more. You couldn’t believe it. Just when you thought things were starting to look up, he waltzes straight back towards the problem itself.

Not thinking for a second, you set the plates down and marched over to the guest house. You didn’t bother to knock this time, instead assertively opening the door to see him already settled with a keyboard on his lap. His head flew up at the sound of your entrance, mouth flying open with silent questions. You stopped for a moment - both of you did, a little surprised at your bold entry. Coming to your senses, your gait quickly softened, hands clasped loosely in front of you so as not to alarm him.

“I-I made dessert. Your favourite.” you explained meekly, watching him from the doorway once more. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply, filling you with a sense of dread. You knew what would happen if you pushed it, but here you were. You were so desperate at this point, missing the man you fell in love with and frightened of the shell he’d become. Even more so than that, you were frightened for him.

Bo had always had trouble accepting help, and the idea of him asking for it was inconceivable. He’d opened up to you over time about a lot of things, but every time it got a little more serious he’d close up like a clam, refusing entry into his world until the situation simply dissipated.

“I can’t, I’m busy.” he deadpanned, fiddling around with the microphone stand. You could feel the wave of disappointment wash over you once more. For a few hours, you really thought things had taken a turn for the better, for a few hours your hopes had been lifted, all for it to just come crumbling back down tenfold. The adrenaline quickly hijacked your brain, talking on your subconscious’ behalf before you had a moment to strategize.

“You’re always busy.” you snapped. Your voice wasn’t that loud, but you knew he could hear it shake, months of anxiety and concern finally bubbling over. Your fear only grew when you saw a glint of rage flicker behind his eyes.

“It’s my job.” he rebutted with a swift, disapproving shake of his head.

“But you always push yourself too far, Bo. I know you’re just so passionate about what you do, but you always end up so burnt out and I-”

“Stop saying that!” he bellowed, finally placing the keyboard aside and standing up to face you. His height has never intimidated you, but the way in which he towered over you made you feel so small and powerless.

“You keep saying that when I'm not, it’s like you want me to be, like you want me to stop working.” he explained sternly. You felt your words get trapped in your throat, hyper-aware and petrified of digging this hole any deeper.

“I don’t want you to be burnt out, Robert,” you explained, using his full name in hopes it would better emphasize your sincerity, “I just care about you. I’ve seen this happen to you before, when you just go and go and go until you can’t anymore, you stop eating, you stop sleeping and you never talk to anyone about it, you just bottle it all up and let it eat you alive. And I mean, I miss you. God, I miss you so much, but more importantly than that right now, I’m worried about you.” you blurted.

You could feel your body tremble, your veins flooding simultaneously with relief and pure fear after finally airing the grievances you’ve fostered for months.

You watched as he processed your words. You might have just been projecting, but for a moment, you swore you saw his face soften, a part of him wanting so desperately to give in, to surrender and let you help. Lamentably, he huffed out a tired, contemptuous laugh.

After all you said, he simply turned his back to you, picked up his keyboard and continued on like you hadn’t said a peep. For a moment, you stood there, truly gobsmacked, but the piercing screeches of his synthesizer were enough to usher you out the door and back to the house, not stopping until you were in bed and crying into your pillow.

Your mind wouldn’t let up, over-processing every word he spoke, every breath he took, looking for illusory warning signs that this was it. All the years you’d spent together, all the hard work and love and dedication you’d poured into the relationship, all of the sacrifices, all of the rewards, it was all now null and void because you’d pushed him too far.

At some point, your mind had crossed over into the world of paranoia, manipulating every once-pleasant memory of the evening to fit your new narrative, that this was the end.

You don’t remember falling asleep, but the slightly-damp pillow was enough to indicate that it happened pretty fast. Your brain soon caught up with your body, picking up the very noise that woke you up - the shower.

You rose from your bed with a furrowed brow and made your way down the stairs as quietly as you could, as if your presence would scare him off like a fly. You made it face to face with the door of the guest bathroom, the shower was undoubtedly on, and from the excited state of the dogs, Bo was undoubtedly in there. You gently rested your hand against the door, unsure of what to do.

Eventually, you backed up and took refuge on the couch, allowing him space to wash away the day and hopefully clear his mind.

Ten minutes passed, you sat patiently, silently on the couch as you waited for the shower to stop.

Another ten minutes later and you hadn’t moved from your spot, save a few adjustments for Bruce who had curled up under your arm.

It had been half an hour since you sat and your nerves were multiplying by the second. You were using every fibre of your being to hold yourself back from going in there, no longer trusting that gut instinct that, once again, reared it’s ugly head. You could hear it’s faint screams echoing in the back of your head;

‘Push’.

The impulse grew more enticing with every passing second until it had been forty five minutes since you awoke and you could no longer wait.

Pacing up to the door, the hesitation that stopped you from going in last time revealed itself once more. The hesitation was quickly silenced, however, by the sound of muffled sobs.

Your heart was in your throat, your stomach twisting and churning itself into impossible knots in response to the muted lamentations. Your body turned to jelly as you dubiously opened the door, wincing at the creak of it’s hinges. You could feel your heart drop to the floor and shatter at the sight before you.

Bo was curled up in the corner of the bathtub, arms around his knees as his hair completely concealed his face. He was seemingly unbothered by the harsh, hot stream of water hammering against his head, and you could only just make out the shaking of his shoulders through the steam.

Without a moment of hesitation, you stepped out of your shoes, well beyond caring about the clothes you were wearing, and stepped into the bathtub fully clothed to sit behind him. Your legs splayed out on either side of him, and your arms quickly wrapped around to sit atop his own.

You could truly feel him crying now as he leant into your touch, too exhausted to fight any more. You could feel his laboured breathing, you could hear his wordless whispers as he tried and failed to speak. So you spoke for him.

“I’ve got you, Bo.” you said quietly, beginning to rock him back and forth and softly kissing his head. Finally, he managed to squeak out a few words,

“I’m so fucking tired.”

It was punctuated with a sob, and you had to muster every ounce of strength you had not to cry yourself. You’d never seen him like this before. You’d seen him stressed, you’d seen him deflated, you’d seen him tired, overworked and depressed. But never quite this broken.

“I’m so fucking tired. I’m so tired, please” he continued, repeating his mantra over and over again,

‘I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired’

You couldn’t imagine how much he must have to say, and neither of you knew quite where to start. But after all these years, he’d finally hit the breaking point.

You continued to slowly rock him back and forth, gently kissing his hair as the both of you sat under the scalding hot stream of the shower.

He tensed up for a moment in your grip, his demons seemingly coming back to remind him he isn’t worthy of help. A vague suggestion of ‘You shouldn’t have to do this’ was muttered under his breath, but this time when you pushed back, he let you. Your hold on him endured, soothingly rubbing small circles on his arm with your thumb until he settled once more.

“I’ve got you.” you reassured him once more, hoping to god that this time you got through. And as you felt his shoulders start to shake once more, you think you just might have.

“Why am I doing this?” Bo asked, voice raised to compete against the strong pelt of the shower. You stayed silent and let him continue.

“What’s the fucking point? I can’t even tell what I'm doing anymore. It’s all I can think about, all I can do is just work on it but I hate everything I come up with, it just makes me so fucking miserable. And sometimes I just wanna stop, for the night, and get into bed with you, and the girls, and just forget about everything for a few hours but I can’t switch my fucking brain off and I’m just stuck in this fucking endless feedback loop in my head and I’m just so tired” he cried, gasping in a loud breath.

“It’s okay, baby,” you cooed, pulling him a little closer to you, “you don’t have to be okay. I’ve got you.”

Bo didn’t know how to say it, he didn’t know where he’d begin, but he was so thankful that you persevered, that you were still there with him, that you were right there holding him through this.

#bo burnham x reader #bo burnham oneshot #bo burnham imagine #bo burnham x gender neutral reader #z’s writing

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justhockeythings-blog1 · 3 years

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With You

A/N: So Two in one week huh? I wrote this a lot faster than I thought I would! Also I decided to make my own collage to go with this one! I really really like this one, so I hope you guys do! Feedback is always appreciated!

Request: “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” with Andrei Svechnikov

This was not the end to the season that anyone wanted. You felt your shoulders drop, along with your stomach. Your heart on the other hand had shattered into a million pieces, seeing Andrei’s heartbroken and frustrated face blasted across the television. You sat alone, in your shared apartment, wearing the same Svechnikov jersey that he had cheesily gifted you on your first birthday together. You made it a tradition to wear it every game you watched at home, making sure to send Andrei a picture. It had become as much a part of his pre-game ritual as having Martinook scream in his face. You hadn’t expected this game to be the last time you got to engage in your self made ritual,

You could feel the tears brimming your eyes, if not from the fact that you had so much hope for the boys to move on, for the sad faces of all your friends and your boyfriend as they shook hands with Tampa Bay. You waited until the very last second where the Canes players could no longer be seen before you shut off your TV, sitting in silence. You didn’t bother holding the tears in as you let a few slip, this was your time to be sad about it because the second that Andrei called you, you had to pull it together. You needed to be strong for him.

You knew your boyfriend well, you had seen him at the highs of the wins and the lows of the losses. He was going to take this personal, he had been battling himself all year. Saying how he hadn’t been having a good season, how he needed to improve, staying late after games to put in the extra time. You constantly had to remind him to take time for himself, to not be so hard on himself. There were countless times that you would have to force him to relax, letting his body rest, knowing that he would return to a hard training regime at the next practice. This wasn’t just any old loss though, this was a Stanley Cup elimination game loss. You were going to have to pull out all the stops to make this one feel better and you had a limited amount of time. You assumed that Andrei would be going back home at some point in the off season, neither of you had really talked about it recently. Then again, neither of you had planned on a playoff elimination.

You wiped the last few tears off your cheeks and stood up, collecting the snacks you had laid out, setting them in the kitchen before you went to change. After you came back out, you decided you needed to do something to pass the time until Andrei called, and you began busying yourself with cleaning. It was a habit that you had when you were nervous, you picked something to do and you fixated on it, usually until Andrei stepped in to stop you. It would be no different tonight, the shrill ring of your phone pulling you out of your trance. You glanced around you, seeing the kitchen of the apartment spotless before you rushed to the living room to snatch your phone off the coffee table where you left it.

“Hey.” You breathed out, hearing a slight chuckle from the other end.

“Were you running?” He asked, knowing that it was far too late for that. You, on the other hand, knew that he was avoiding the inevitable but you could hear the sadness in his voice.

“From the kitchen, didn’t want to miss your call.” You explained, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. This was the first sign that he wasn’t going to let on how upset he was in the moment, he had called you rather than facetime you. “How are you doing?”

You knew it was a stupid question but you had to ask. If you didn’t make the first move then odds were he wouldn’t bring it up and judging by the sigh that came from the other end, he was hoping that you wouldn’t.

“You gotta talk about it Andrei…” You encouraged gently, settling back on the couch and tugging a blanket over your legs. “Before you get on the plane.”

“It’s hard.” He began and you hummed, another gentle encouragement that you were listening. “We really thought we could do it. You know? We had them, we outplayed them every game and it wasn’t enough.”

The frustration was clear in his voice. You had seen the statistics and on paper, the Canes had come out on top, but unfortunately that didn’t translate to the ice.

“I wanted us to go all the way, these guys are my family and nobody deserves the cup more than them, and I couldn’t get them there.” You could hear the defeat in his voice and it was like someone took your heart and threw it on the ground.

“Andrei… You cannot put that pressure on yourself. Hockey is a team sport, you all left it all out there on the ice. You did you best and the weight of this loss does not fall entirely on your shoulders. Please.” You practically pleaded with him before you heard voices in the background.

“I have to go.. We are getting ready to board, I love you. I’ll be home late so don’t stay up okay?”

He hung up after you returned his goodbyes, leaving you once again sitting in the silence of your apartment. This time though, the exhaustion of everything set in and you pulled yourself to go to bed. You left a light on in the hallway so that Andrei didn’t have to stumble around in the darkness, slipping into your bed and quickly falling asleep.

When Andrei got home, well past three AM, he knew that the house would be quiet but it didn’t make it any less suffocating. It felt like silence was the only thing he had heard since the boys departed the locker room, each one caught up in their own heads. A few of the older guys, who had spent a good number of years in the league, did their best to offer some kind of comfort to the younger men on the team but it was clear that in the moment it was half hearted. Everyone had wanted to beat Tampa, everyone had wanted to make it to the end and hoist that cup. It was their year and they had done everything right only to lose to a team who had a goalie like a brick wall.

He set his bag down by the couch quietly, having mastered the technique of coming home quietly after waking you up one too many times. He carefully made his way down the hallway to the bedroom, smiling a little to himself as he saw you curled up in bed, tucked into one of his shirts. The season may not have ended the way he wanted but at least he still had you to come home to.

Slipping into the bed, he was careful not to wake you as he wrapped one arm around you and quickly fell asleep himself, his mind shutting off for the first time since this morning.

When you woke up the next morning it was to the weight of an arm carefully laying across your waist and the sound of gentle breathing beside you. A setting you were very familiar with, but today you couldn’t enjoy it. You had a plan that you needed to get started on before Andrei woke up, which is why you were secretly praying that the late return home would play in your favor.

You glanced back at him, smiling at the peaceful look on his face before you skillfully wiggled your way out of his grasp, pausing on the edge of your bed to make sure he remained asleep. After a few minutes you stood up and grabbed his bag, sneaking out of your room.

First things first was to get his laundry started so you made a beeline to the washer and dryer you guys had, setting the bag down and carefully emptying the clothes, checking all of his pockets to make sure they were empty. There had been a mishap one time of airpods in the washer and you both had quickly learned your lesson.

You felt a small box tucked into one of his pockets, pulling it out and setting it into a small basket with other things you found. You didn’t pay any mind to it as you started the washer, carrying the basket and setting it on the dining room table where he could collect it when he woke up.

Part two of your plan involved slight rearrangement of your living room, a number of blankets and pillows, and a fully charged laptop. After nearly twenty minutes, including a quick peak into the bedroom to make sure that he was indeed still sleeping, you had a blanket fort all made up and ready. Which was the easiest part of the plan, the real trick would be getting Andrei into it.

You moved back to the kitchen, pulling out all of the things you needed to make a real breakfast. Not the coffee and yogurt that you scarfed down on work days. You started the coffee pot, humming to yourself as you carefully dialed Evgeny’s number. It was times like these you were thankful that Andrei had introduced you to his brother and you two had a good standing relationship. You cut Evgeny’s greeting off gently, explaining that you didn’t have much time before Andrei woke up but you needed to know how to make his favorite breakfast.

At some point during your phone call with Evgeny, who thankfully walked you step by step through a homemade breakfast that he and Andrei had grown up on, Andrei made an appearance from the bedroom. He stood back and watched as you worked, hearing his brother’s voice over the speaker.

He smiled to himself, it was no secret to anyone that Evgeny was an important person in his life. When he had first introduced the two of you, he had been a little nervous that Evgeny and you wouldn’t get along. Which would have left him in a very awkward predicament. Seeing you in the kitchen though, clearly taking instructions from his brother over the phone, stirred something inside of him. Whatever he was feeling though quickly screeched to a halt, a small jolt of panic ran through him as he saw the small box on the table, quickly grabbing it and stuffing it into the pocket of his shorts just as you turned around.

“Oh hey! Evgeny, he’s up, I gotta go. Thank you so so so much for all your help! I owe you one!” You hung up with his brother and smiled sheepishly, holding up the plate with your finished work. “Surprise?”

You clearly hadn’t seen the glimpse of panic that crossed his face, quickly replaced by a smile and a look of awe when it registered in his mind what was on the plate. Sure you cooked often, but it now made sense to him why you had called his brother.

“If it’s bad you can blame your brother, but I just… I wanted to do something nice for you, especially since I didn’t stay up for you last night.” You explained, pulling him over to sit at the dining room table and setting the plate down in front of him.

Andrei was speechless, which you had learned was a hard feat to accomplish, as he watched you fill two mugs of coffee, making it the way both of you liked it before coming to sit down beside him. You hadn’t brought up the game yet and he wasn’t sure if you would but in the moment he didn’t care, he couldn’t stop staring at you.

“So is this really all it’s cracked up to be?” You asked, watching as he took the first bite. You had spent twenty minutes listening to his brother rave about it.

“Yes, I mean maybe not to other people but Evgeny and I ate it every weekend growing up. Is this why you called him?” He asked as he ate, reminiscing with every bite. His heart growing with love for you when you nodded behind your coffee mug sheepishly.

“I didn’t know how to make it but I remembered you mentioning it. I figured waking your brother up and dealing with his wrath would be worth it.” You teased, Evgeny had never been anything but nice to you and he probably appreciated this gesture as much as Andrei did.

“Also, I hope you didn’t have plans for the day or at least part of it. I wasn’t sure if you had to do something for the team or not.” You trailed off as he finished eating, grabbing the plate from him when he was done and carried it to the sink.

“I uh, I’m not sure. I think they’ll text me if I need to be there but I don’t think I need to today. Why?” He asked, though you didn’t answer him. You just grabbed his hand and pulled him to the living room, smiling as you looked at him.

He froze, seeing the elaborate blanket fort laid out in the living room, snacks and water already inside of it with your laptop. Part of him wondered if you had done thing last night and he had missed it in his tired state or if you had managed to do all of this, on top of breakfast, this morning. Before he could ask though you were tugging him to crawl into it, forcing him to drop to his knees to follow after you.

“What is all of this?” He asked after you settled in the pillow fort, laying on your back as you smiled up at him.

“This is me forcing you to relax and take a minute to yourself. I know last night did not go how you wanted, how any of you wanted, and maybe there’s nothing I can say right now that will make the thoughts in your head go away. Which I hate by the way, you’re way too hard on yourself but I just wanted you to take a day and not think about the game or about hockey or about what you could have done differently. I just, I know it’s not a lot but-”

Your rambling was cut off, as it so often was, by a quick kiss to your lips. You felt your shoulders drop as his hands cupped your cheeks, melting a little into the kiss before he pulled away and rested his forehead on yours.

“Thank you.”

It was a simple two words, but it was enough. It meant that he was accepting this, your plan to relax and just spend time together. Maybe it worked and maybe it didn’t, but all that mattered was he was willing to give it a chance.

The two of you spent most of the day in the fort watching movies, leaving only if you needed to use the bathroom or you needed more snacks. At some point the sun was beginning to sit lower in the sky and you both knew you would need to leave to make dinner, especially considering lunch had been nothing but snacks yet neither of you wanted to make that move.

You rolled onto your side, tucking your body even closer to his when you felt a bump against your thigh.

“That better just be your phone.” You teased and he looked at you confused before he realized that the small box that he had gotten well before the roadtrip was now pressed up against you. He sat up quickly, reaching into his pocket to pull it out, though you still couldn’t see it.

“Hey, I was just teasing.” You pouted, reaching for him as he chuckled and shifted to look at you. It was then you caught a glimpse of a familiar sized box and you found yourself sitting quickly to look at him.

“Andrei…” You began softly, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to marry him but you two were both fairly young and had never discussed the prospect of marriage before.

“No! No, I mean. It’s not what you’re thinking, not yet.” He rushed to explain, his accent forcing the words to run together. It was something you had picked up, whenever he was angry or excited, his accent made it hard to differentiate what he was saying.

Instead of continuing his explanation, he opened the box to show you the very thin band, with three tiny diamonds in it. You could feel the breath leave your throat as you stared at it. It was beautiful, there was no doubt in your mind about that and it was your style. Simple, understated, something that you could wear with anything and it would never look out of place.

“So if not… that, then what is this?” You asked confused, looking up at him again with nervous eyes.

“It’s a promise and you don’t have to think of it as anything more than that. No other strings okay? I just. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know we haven’t talked about it before, but I wanted to make you the promise that one day, it’ll be a different ring and I had hoped to do it after a winning game, but this… I think this is much better.” He explained quietly, keeping his eyes on the ring, watching as you carefully pulled it out of the box.

This was not at all how he had planned on doing this, in his mind it was much smoother. It was after a winning game, probably not in your living room, and he also wouldn’t be stumbling over his words and half tempted to switch back to Russian. Despite all that though, he didn’t want to wait any longer and there was no taking it back now that it was out there.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you too.” You smiled, carefully slipping it on your right ring finger for now and smiling up at him. “ Don’t want to give people too many ideas now do we?”

You heard him chuckle before leaning down to kiss you again. The game may not have gone how you two wanted, the season may have ended early, but one thing was certain for the both of you.

You had each other, now and for the rest of your lives.

#andrei svechnikov imagine #Andrei Svechnikov #andrei svechnikov x reader #andrei svechnikov writing #andrei svechnikov story #nhl #nhl writing #nhl imagine #nhl story #hockey story #hockey imagine #hockey writing #carolina hurricanes #carolina hurricanes imagine #carolina hurricanes story #carolina hurricanes writing

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silima · 2 years

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Hey man I wanted to ask, i am beginner artist and I feel kinda discouraged because i have a smaller acc than I lot of artists, how do you feel like encouraged to draw more stuff about your fandom?(i really love your art and is so inspiring!)

thank u!! first of all, it's awesome that you've decided to start putting yourself out there!! i think motivation can be one of the hardest things to deal with when it comes to making art, & sometimes it feels like u either have it or u don't. but i think it's definitely possible to improve in some ways!

i think the most important rule of trying to motivate urself is, when motivation/inspiration hits you, DON’T WASTE IT. if you think to yourself, “hmm, it would be fun to draw right now… but it would be easier to keep scrolling on my phone” do your best to actually go draw!! i’m not gonna tell u to skip, like, ur homework for art (although i totally do that) bcz u should do ur homework. but when the urge hits u, don’t let it go!! u gotta ride that wave as far as it’ll take you.

obviously sometimes motivation will hit you at times when you’re in a situation where you totally can’t sit down and draw. like it’s 3am and you really should’ve been sleeping 5 hours ago, but u just got a super cool idea for a drawing or a comic or something. if that happens, i’m not saying to actually sit down & draw right then, but you absolutely should write your idea down while the idea is still fresh!! it’s easy to forget small things or even the whole idea if you wait for later. plus, when you revisit what you've written down, you might find yourself having ideas of how you could make it even better.

one thing that’s kind of unfortunate about making art is that, yeah, external motivation is a big part of motivating yourself to make art (at least it is for me). BUT you definitely don’t need to have thousands of followers to get nice feedback on your art. i mean, you could just show it to an irl friend who likes the show/book/etc that you’re drawing for too. hell, you could show it to ur mom

but to put yourself out there online, uhh my advice is to

make art that’s interesting in some way. (character interactions are often more interesting to ppl than solo character art, for one; uhh, comics are super super super fun although i personally felt intimidated by them at first; in general, trying to give ur audience some kind of emotional response to ur art--whether it's "aw so cute" or funny or angsty--is good.)

participate in fandom events (like ship weeks, big bangs, etc). at the very least, ur art gets reblogged to a bigger blog that can get you some exposure. and you might make some friends!

try to connect w/ other content creators—go compliment cool art! send nice asks! make gift art for fanfics u really like!

look for some fandom discords with nice ppl

post ur stuff on multiple social medias

i personally spent like 3 years on tumblr just kinda tossing my art into the void before i actually started gaining a significant amount of followers lol so i’m not exactly a social media guru but i think those are some good places to start.

also, NEVER BE DISCOURAGED BY UR OWN ART!!!!! sometimes it happens when you'll look at ur art and be like "holy bejeezus i suck at art" and like, it's inevitable that it happens occasionally, but u gotta avoid that as much as u possibly can. practice positive self-talk--be like "aw fuck yeah i love how i drew that hair" or smth to yourself. bad self-esteem will kill your motivation & your fun.

(it's worth keeping in mind that oftentimes, if u feel like ur art is "getting worse," that's literally just your eye for art developing and learning to recognize flaws that you're about to fix--a good sign, not a bad one. your hands will catch up to your eyes in time.)

oh and DONT be afraid of posting little sketches or unfinished doodles that arent that fancy...... thats something i struggle with lol i always feel like "if my art isnt perfectly cleaned up and shaded then whats the point :(" but whenever i see someone else's cute little sketch on my dash im always like omg thats so cool. doing this is also good because if you don't feel obligated to put tons and tons of effort into each piece, you'll have an easier time creating lots of art which ultimately helps u improve way faster

lastly i uhhh really strongly recommend against doing that thing that some beginner artists do where you're feeling insecure about your art and, in anticipation that people will hate it, you say something like "haha yeah i know it sucks" in the caption/tags to sort of insulate yourself from criticism. cuz like, most ppl are not little loser bitches who go around insulting random ppl's art, and besides if you do encounter people like that, u can just block em. more importantly, a lot of people do find such captions kind of off-putting/guilt-trippy, so it's bad for growing ur audience, and it's also harmful to you as well, because you're verbalizing your insecurities (& thus intensifying them). just own it. you don't need to apologize for "imperfect" art. it happens, & it's totally okay.

#art advice #hope that helps!#ask #anon

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liighty · 3 years

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Guzma x Bipolar Reader because I am very sad rn

When he first finds out about the diagnosis, he's REALLY chill about it. He asks questions so he understands it, but if you aren't comfortable with them, he spends time combing through different sources online to get a better grasp on what he has to deal with. Poor guy hates feeling out of the loop so he'll do whatever he can to understand what's going on

When you're depressive, he is 100% down to just stop whatever he's doing for cuddles. He'll let you rest your head on his chest and just whisper encouragements to you as best as he can. If physical contact isn't your thing, he'll just sit on the same couch as you or something so you know he's there. He only leaves you alone when he needs to use the bathroom, since he's REALLY scared of something happening while he's not there.

Manic episodes are a little hard for him to get used to, seeing as he has the self restraint of a fucking toddler. Happy highs require him to really slow down and make sure you don't do anything stupid. When you get the more irritated episodes, he typically gives you space until it dies down, seeing as his temper tends to act up as well. He finds he's better at comforting the depressive episodes since it's just cuddles and hugs, but with manic episodes he's gotta use his noggin which kinda sucks lmao

In terms of hyperfixations, he'll do whatever he can to also get in that shit as well. Anything to make you feel like he's listening, even if it's something he absolutely fucking despises. I have a feeling he's not the biggest fan of those drama TV shows or whatever but would definitely watch them and get invested if you asked him to. (Or if you didn't and just talked about it, either way) Might become a weeb through intense conditioning.

He's not really all that sure how medications work and all, but he tries his best to understand the names and side effects, as well as how much you have to take at a given time. He's VERY insistent you eat, hydrate, and take your meds, since he knows how important they are. At times it might feel like he's babying you, which might cause some conflict, but he's just really worried about you and your mental health.

I feel like he's the kinda person to get really protective over this kinda shit. So if somebody uses the term 'bipolar' in the wrong connotation or as an insult, he loses his shit. He won't bring you up personally, but he becomes a huge advocate for normalization and understanding of the mental illness.

Will 100% attend all your psychiatrist appointments and prioritize going to therapy. He'll ask you how therapy was if you're comfortable sharing, and is always suggesting new coping mechanisms he found on the fucking internet. He tries SO HARD man like 😭😭😭😭

In my own experiences, sometimes depressive episodes results in trauma being resurfaced, and honestly I feel like Guzma would just sit there and let you vent until you were finished. He might not understand all that's going on, but he's putting all his effort into trying to help you out. If you just need to word vomit, he's there to listen. If you want actual help or feedback, he's there to try his best to provide that. Will also 100% tell jokes to try to make you feel better.

Sometimes it seems like he's pretty overbearing but he's just trying his best to make sure you feel safe. TLDR: Guzma please i kinda need you rn :')

#guzma x reader #team skull guzma #pokemon guzma #Skull Boss Guzma #guzma #pokemon x reader #pokemon #My writing #headcanons #cries in spanish

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years

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ILLICITUS: CHAPTER 2 Prompt: Y/N is a respectful narcotics agent, she worked hard to have her work recognized in a prominently male work field. She‘s assigned to the most important case of her whole career, investigate and apprehend the biggest drug dealer of U.S.A, the only thing she didn’t count on, was for the bastard to be so damn charming. Word count: It is kinda short, sorry Pairing: Mob!Roman Reigns x Reader Warnings: +18, cursing, small flirting and some secrets...(that’s all for now)

Tagging: @ziasaph, @mindofasagittaruis, @akiko-tanaka, @reigns-5sos and some of the lovely people who’ve encouraged me to continue with this @gamergirl929fan , @bayley-no-friends, @lilred91, @anyahsinc Notes: Sorry that it was too short, but if I didn't stopped, Lord knows how long it would have been. Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

"Good. At what time is your shift over?" He asks, fingers still caressing my neck "7 pm" I breath out "Should we schedule for 8:30, then?" His eyes glued to mine "Fine" I freed myself from his hypnotic spell "I'll see you at 8:30 then agent Y/L/N" He smirks .................................................................................................. "What the fuck did you just did Y/N? Are you insane, kid?" Jeff tries to silently whisper "Jeff...I need to know how much does he knows about this operation" "You must have a death wish, girl! If I knew you would be this reckless I wouldn't have designated you for this case!" He itches his beard, something he would often do, whenever he was frustrated or irritated. "Jeff, you gotta trust me on this ok?" "How the fuck am I supposed to trust you after this? The last thing you should have done kid, was freely walk into that man's house!" "And how am I supposed to extract information then? We both know how high level his informers can be, so you can't be naive Jeff, and tell me that you truly believe a judge would have signed a warrant!" I raise my eyebrows He sighed "I know kid...I know...Look, you're like a daughter to me ok? So yeah, I get a little nervous to know that you're going to be trapped inside that fucker's house for a 'dinner'. I assume you know what he will want for dessert?" "Oh please! I'm not gonna fuck him, if that's what you're implying" I scoffed "I know you won't kid, but he on the other hand..." "Jeffrey, I'm a big girl ok? I can take care of myself, thank you very much!" I huffed "Right...just be careful Y/N, please? I mean it" He looks at me with nothing but worry and compassion upon his brown eyes "He won't hurt me Jeff, I promise you that" He gave a sigh of relief, right after realising "Wait! That was not what I asked, kid" But it was too late, since I was already on my way to the elevator to meet my dinner partner ............................................................................................................................ I debated whether I should change my work close (Which were a pair of skinny jeans, black tank top and some adidas sneakers) or not. But I figured that would make him feel like I was trying to impress him, so I didn't bother. I rang the doorbell, and imagine my surprise, when he was the one who opened the door. "Oh good evening agent Y/L/N, you look stunning" He lazily smiled I rolled my eyes "It's the same outfit from this morning Mr.Reigns. But thank you, regardless" He step aside for me to enter his house "Please, this way" He offers me his arm, and I just ignored, passing through him and going to the dining room. I can hear him lightly chuckling behind me. "I didn't knew what you would like to eat so, I chose to wait until you arrived here" He says My eyes widened in shock "Does that mean I'll have to wait for dinner to get ready, with you?" My voice filled with scorn "Ouch, that hurt agent Y/L/N. I'm not that despicable, you know?" He tries to disguise, but I can see the amusement printed all over his smug face *Fuck! Maybe this WAS a bad idea, like Jeff said. I shouldn't have done this! Damn it, I need a fucking cigarette!* I thought "Do you have a place where I can smoke?" I quickly ask He crooks one eyebrow "You don't seem like the smoking type, agent Y/L/N" "Don't judge a book by its cover Mr.Reigns, you might fool yourself" "Indeed....Here" "Here what?" I asked "You can smoke here" He smiles "In the dining room?" I sarcastically say "It's my house, isn't it?" He smirks *Fuck it* I thought as I light up a cigarette, the familiar smell of burning tobacco, filled my nostrils and eased my rushed mind "If may I suggest, the chef does a marvelous steak, agent Y/L/N. Unless of course, you don't eat meat" He says as he slides me an ashtray I just nod in agreement "Great. I'll be right back" *Goddamn Y/N! What the fuck are you doing? You just look like a dumb bitch, who thinks she can fool this man! Maybe you're whole carreer was a mistake! You should've been a lovely prostitute, like your dear old mother! That tramp! It runs in your veins you know? The cheap whore DNA...* I could hear my father's voice in my head, telling me all the worst things he could think of... I was pulled off of my memorie zone, by my cigarette being yanked off my lips. Roman was sitting on the dining table, in between my legs, staring at me. "Whatcha thinking about?" He asks, as he places my cigarette on his mouth giving it a long drag *Fuck, he looks hot...* "Nothing" I whipered He lightly blows the smoke on my face "Bullshit" He put out the cigarette on the ashtray "Wine?" He crook his eyebrow as he takes two glasses of red wine from the table "Sure" I respond. As he offers me one glass, I take the other and he gives me a questioning look "I'm not going to accept the glass YOU want to give me Mr. Reigns. I'm not that stupid" He chuckles "Do you thing I roofied your wine?" I shrugged my shoulders "Oh baby, trust me, I don't need to roffie you...I want you to be as conscious as ever when you moan my name" He smirks and takes a sip of what should've been my glass of wine "Why did you wanted to have this dinner, Mr. Reigns?" I ask, ignoring his previous comment "Well, because I want to get to know you better, agent Y/L/N! I think it is only fair, since you're going to be digging through out my whole life, don't you think?" I sighed "I'm gonna recall you Mr. Reigns, that you are a target of an investigation. I'm not doing this because I want to and yes because I was assigned for it, sir. So I'm not here to flirt with you or to play hard to get, I'm just doing my job" He smirks "Please, call me Roman" "I'm afraid that's not very professional, Mr.Reigns" "And this dinner is?" He raises his eyebrows "I beg your pardon?" I gasped He leans in, his face mere inches from mine "Let's be honest here Y/N, you know what I meant by this dinner, don't pretend to be so naive. It doesn't suits you, baby" Something clicked on my mind "How do you know my name?" "What?" He asks confused "How do you know my name? I never told you my name" "C'mon now Y/N , you're not the only one who can do some research. The only thing that I don't get it, is" He leans closer, lips brushing mine with each word he spoke "How come can I only find records and documents on one Y/N and L/N from only 5 years ago? There's nothing before that, is like...she didn't existed 5 years ago, in anywhere in the world! Would you mind explaining to me why, baby?"

I could only stare at him in disbelief. Everything was so perfectly hidden back then, so how could he have found out about it?

To Be Continued.....

Please let me know what do you think? Your feedback is always important and welcomed

#roman reigns imagine #roman reigns smut #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns #roman reigns x reader #wwe one shot #wwe fanfiction #wwe imagine #wwe smut #wwe x reader #masochist writes #illicitus series

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chuckbass-love · 4 years

Text

Intrusion | Andy Barber

A/N : I’m so excited to be entering my first ever writing challenge on this blog. This is probably the first of many entries and i hope everyone enjoys. This is for the Shameless Hoes for Chris challenge. Feedback is welcomed and encouraged, it’ll help me improve.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Thank you so much for doing this challenge @stargazingfangirl18 & @navybrat817 enjoy...

Pairing : Andy Barber x Reader

Word count : 2,462

Summary : You accidentally walk in on Andy naked...

Warnings : explicit language, sexual content and smut. 18+

I used scenario prompt 13. ‘Accidentally seeing the other naked’

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to whoever made this gif, if anyone knows who made it pls let me know so I can give credit. I genuinely just search gifs up on google and I never manage to find out where the original gif is from bc of so many people re posting gifs. I never wanna give credit to the wrong person! So if this gif is yours or if it’s someone you know then let me know and I’ll credit them. Thank you💗

It’s Friday afternoon and you’re stuck at work in the last meeting of the day before you get to go home and relax for the weekend.

You’ve got plans to hang out with your neighbour Andy tonight. The two of you got rather close once him and Laurie split, he got quite lonely in that house which was understandable.

You recall the time you saw him get takeout for the third time that week and you couldn’t stand the sight of it. So you made some lasagne and took it over to him in an oven dish.

He was beyond grateful for the kind gesture and even invited you in to eat with him to which you gladly accepted.

Ever since the two of you have developed quite the friendship. He wasn’t ready for anything romantic so despite your little crush on him, you decided it was never going to happen. You had gotten used to it being strictly platonic.

You always had plans with him every Friday night and tonight was no exception. Tonight is movie night at his place.

“Right okay, that’ll be all then guys” your boss calls out, breaking you from your daze. You have to admit, you didn’t pay attention during that meeting. Hopefully it wasn’t anything too important though.

You gather your stuff and head back to your office to collect your bag before heading out to your car. Once you reach it you check your phone to find a text from Andy.

‘Hey, just checking we’re still on for tonight. I’m gonna jump in the shower, back door is unlocked so let yourself in’

You smile down at your phone before starting the car and driving out of the parking lot. Once you reach your road and pull onto the drive next to your house, you contemplate showering first before going over but decide against it. Instead you walk across the road to Andy’s, going straight to his backdoor.

You notice some popcorn on the kitchen counter, he must’ve picked that up on his way home. You start to wonder around whilst you wait but he seems to be taking forever.

Surely he wasn’t still showering, he must have been in there for 30 minutes now. You wonder over to the staircase and start climbing, noticing that the shower isn’t on and you don’t hear any noise coming from the second floor.

“Andy, are you in he- OH SHIT” you curse as you walk into his room to find him stood there butt naked. You quickly rush out of the room and run downstairs. You’re utterly mortified. You can’t imagine he’s feeling any different.

Well, now you’ve seen your friend naked. Guess you can tick that one off the old list of things to do. You put the popcorn bag into the microwave and stand there in shock, attempting to process the sight that stood before you no less than a minute ago.

As much as you hate to admit it, the crush you had on him was still very much present now. Walking in on him naked has not helped in the slightest. You can’t get over his body, hell even his dick is huge. Just like you always imagined it to be.

You try to wash away the impure thoughts, luckily for you, you’re snapped out of them by his voice.

“So... about that”

“That was my fault, i’m sorry. I just wondered where you were. I shouldn’t have snooped” you ramble.

He lets out a deep sigh, walking over to you. You get the popcorn out and pour it into a bowl before walking away from him and into the living room. You plop yourself down onto the couch, seconds later he joins.

“What movie have you picked?” you ask, in hopes that he’ll drop the awkward subject. Thankfully he does.

“I chose American Psycho” one of your all-time favourites. You grin at his suggestion as he sets it up on the tv.

“I love this movie” you kick your feet up onto the couch, your skirt riding up your thighs slightly but not enough to give anything away.

-----------------------------

The credits roll up and you yawn and stretch, moving the bowl to the coffee table in front. It’s been a long week at work and tired is an understatement, you are well and truly shattered.

You sit upright and turn to Andy who is looking back at you, his lips curling into a smile.

“What?” you giggle nervously, unsure of what he’s smiling at.

“You just look really good” you both freeze, did he really just say that? You sit there for a second, not sure of how to respond to him but soon enough the sarcasm comes.

“Well, don’t i always?” you flick your hair in a sassy motion, he chuckles “I can’t deny that” is this what you think it is? is he hitting on you?

“Anyways, i bet-”

“Did you like what you saw?” you know exactly what he means but you decide to play dumb.

“I’m sorry what?”

He shuffles closer to you on the couch, closing the space.

“You know what i mean, did you like my body earlier, when you walked in on me?” you try to fight the smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth but it’s no use, your cheesy grin comes out to play and you feel your cheeks heat up.

“I’ll take that as a yes then” he traces his finger over your bare arms until he reaches your shoulder. His mouth soon replaces his finger as he presses a kiss to your shoulder, then moving the kiss to your neck, then jawline and then finally he reaches your mouth.

Your faces are inches apart and you can feel his breath hitting you, you can’t help yourself anymore. You tried but failed. You crash your lips to his passionately. All your feelings for him come out in the kiss, you can just tell he feels it.

His kiss is rough and nasty but also intimate and loving all at once. You feel like you see fireworks going off in your mind, like all of time is standing still for the two of you.

You get the impression that he’s wanted this for a long time, just like you.

You break away and your chests are heaving.

“That was one hell of a kiss” you pant, he releases a small laugh, nodding his head in agreement to your statement.

“I’ll admit, i’ve wanted to do that since the moment i first met you” you just give a look as if to say ‘i know’

You can’t believe your ears though, you felt it but to hear him say it out loud is something else entirely.

“I’ve had a crush on you for so long” you look everywhere but his eyes, you feel nervous now, really, really nervous.

“I know” you cover your face with your hands, had you made it that obvious?

“You actually admitted it to me when we were drinking once. I ignored it because i wasn’t in any position to act upon it despite feeling the same. But i’m more than ready to act upon it now” you make direct eye contact with him and within seconds, he pulls you onto his lap so you’re straddling him.

He grabs a hold of your hair, pulling your head back as his mouth attacks your sweet spot. You feel him start to bite down, almost as though he intends to mark his territory. Like you belong to him now.

You let out a breathy moan, biting down on your lip at the intense feeling, he’s not holding back. You were sure to wake up with more than just a couple of hickeys in the morning but none of that matters right now. You want to live freely in this moment.

“Let’s take this elsewhere” he stands up and your legs wrap around his torso.

He makes sure the doors are locked before taking you to his room and throwing you down on the bed like you don’t weigh a thing.

He removes his shirt and pants, leaving him in just his boxers. You can see the huge situation forming and you can’t help but lick your lips at the sight and thought of him eventually being inside of you.

“Now, let’s remove this shall we?” he tugs at your blouse, you untuck it from your skirt and he rips it off your skin. That’s one blouse you won’t be wearing again.

“I’ll buy you a new one” he mutters whilst sliding your skirt down to reveal your red laced panties.

A grunt leaves his mouth as he removes them too, exposing how soaked you are for him. You spy his dick getting harder and harder.

“All this for me baby?” you hum in response, desperate for him to touch you.

“Please Andy” you whimper underneath him.

“Please what?” you prop yourself up onto your elbows “touch me” you beg, he smirks down at you.

He starts peppering kisses along the inside of your thigh, teasing you until he’s inches away from your sex. You try to buck your hips up but he pushes you down.

“Patience baby girl” he warns and you relax onto the bed, awaiting his touch.

It feels like you’ve been waiting forever but just when you go to speak up his mouth starts sucking on your clit and he slides two fingers inside of you, without a warning.

“Ah yes, just like that” your eyes roll to the back of your head, the pleasure he’s giving you consumes you entirely. He’s skilled, you gotta give it to him.

“Please fuck me daddy” did you really just say that? You feel the touching come to a halt and he crawls his way back up so he’s face to face with you.

“Daddy huh?” you open your eyes to find a cocky expression plastered across his face.

“I’m sorry-”

“You want daddy’s cock huh? Well then you’re gonna have to beg for it sweetheart” you gulp, his mere presence turns you on and is words only make matters worse. You feel shivers run down your spine.

“Please daddy, please fuck me” you put on your seductive voice, spreading your legs wider for him and reaching your hand down to palm him through his boxers. You then use your other hand to rub at your clit.

“I need it, so badly” your eyes go wide, your teeth tug at your bottom lip. You know for certain that he’ll give in now. Sure enough... he does.

He sighs as he watches you beg for him, he can’t hold it any longer. He gets off the bed to rid himself of his boxers. His face returns to it’s position between your legs and his tongue licks up your folds, stealing one last taste of you.

“You taste so sweet” you giggle at him, pulling him up the bed.

You pump his hard cock a couple of times before urging him to bring it closer to your entrance. He tuts at your desperate state, taking your hands, lifting them above you and pressing them down into the mattress.

“No touching”

You feel his tip pushing at your tight hole and all of a sudden he rams himself into you, shifting you up the bed.

“Oh fuck” you curse as he stretches you out but the pain soon gets replaced by mind blowing pleasure. Your back arches and you try to remove your hands from his grip but you fail.

“Is this what you’ve wanted all this time?” thrust “to be fucked like this, fucked like the dirty girl you are” thrust “bet you walked in on me on purpose, wanted to see me all exposed” thrust. You wrap your legs around him, signalling for him to go deeper. Your wish is his command.

He releases your hands and you hold onto his biceps. He grips your legs, forcing them all the way back to your head.

“Andy, fuck” this new angle is allowing him better access, he’s hitting your cervix repeatedly. You know you won’t be able to last long if this goes on. You clench down onto his length, earning a grunt from him.

“Such a tight fucking cunt. That’s it, cum on this cock princess” his words push you closer and closer to your peak. You always guessed he was a talker in the bedroom and hearing it now is a million times better than all those nights you imagined it whilst touching yourself.

“Keep going, i’m gonna cum daddy” you whine, digging your nails into his biceps, the sharp pain causes him to jolt slightly, he only uses the pain to fuck into you harder. The sound of his skin slapping against yours mixed with your combined moans is like heaven to your ears. All your fantasies about this moment were nothing like this, this was better in every way.

With every thrust, moan and hit to your cervix your toes start to curl a little more. You feel it, it’s coming.

“FUCK” you release all around him, clenching down harder than ever before. Your back arches, your now chest to chest. He sits up, leaning back and pulling you with him. You’re now straddling him, you clench down again, milking him for all that he’s got.

He twitches inside of you and you feel his hot seed fill you up. You throw your head back and he wraps his arms around your body, squeezing you tight.

You stay like that for a couple of minutes, allowing you both time to ride out your intense highs. He eventually lifts you off of him and you both fall down onto the bed.

“Well that was quite something” you both burst out into laughter.

He stands up, walking over to the bathroom and whilst his back is turned you can’t help but check out his ass. He was definitely a sex god, sculpted to perfection.

“Here, let me clean you up” he bends down to wipe up the mess the pair of you made before cleaning himself up too.

You can’t believe that just happened. It happened so quickly, you’re still in shock.

He joins you in bed, pulling you onto his chest and his arm drapes around your shoulder. He starts tracing his finger along your back, making you shiver.

“You up for staying the night because i’d quite like to do that again in the morning” a smile forms on both of your faces as you lean your chin on his chest, looking up into his eyes.

“I’d love to”

You stay like that for a a while before eventually drifting into a deep slumber. It finally happened. You feel so happy.

#andy barber #shamelesshoesforchris #chris evans #andy barber smut #andy barber x reader #andy barber fluff #defending jacob #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #writing challenge #smut

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chiefinvestigatoremma · 4 years

Note

What kind of person/or traits do you think would best suit Midoriya, Tamaki, Hawks for a partner? (All 18+!)

Aww this is fun!!!

Ideal Traits in a Partner 😍

Midoriya 💚💚💚

Patience! This boy is a LOT (in the best way) ideally his partner would love to listen to him talk about his passions because we know the boy loves to talk

Trust, the guy is the number one hero so he can't be around as much as you'd like, so you gotta trust he's making the right calls and that he'll always come home to you at the end of the day

Passion- Midoriya has plenty of it himself but there's little fun in getting passionate about something without someone to talk to about it!!! They may not even be passionate about the same things but they still get excited just because their partner is excited!! Even if Izuku hasn't had time to watch your favorite show (yet) he'd still know the names of the characters, your favorite ships, etc.

Love- this boy deserves so much fucking love. He gives out so much to everyone around him and never asks for any in return so he could really use a partner who just loves him with all their might.

Independent- again he can't always be there so it's good to have the peace of mind that his partner is kicking ass on their own. That's not to say you can't depend on him- because you definitely can! But he loves when you stand up for yourself and solve your own problems- he finds it hot tbh

NSFW:

Let's be real he needs someone who is open to experimenting- because we KNOW this guy is a closet f r e a k .

Needs a partner who can express themselves and give him feedback, vocal, vocal, VOCAL!! He LOVES hearing you scream, lives for all your little sounds and whimpers

If you like sitting on your partner's face, you are Izuku's DREAM.

He'd probably like someone who is into exhibitionism, so that he can fuck you whenever and wherever he wants

Seriously that would make him the happiest guy alive

Tamaki 🦑🦑🦑

Again, patience. Tamaki isn't as timid as he used to be but he has his moments. And he can't be rushed through them, so his partner should be willing to just rub his back and pet his hair until he comes down

His partner better like Mirio, these guys are a package deal.

He'd LOVE a partner who can cook!!! And bake lol. Food is huge in his life so if you make it for him he'd be thrilled

He'd like a partner he can baby just a little bit. People usually treat him like the fragile one so he'd appreciate the chance to be the strong protector for once. Let this man be your sugar daddy. DO IT

Lastly he would really benefit from someone who could encourage him to push his boundaries without being too demanding.

NSFW:

He'd be best with a switch for a partner- because sometimes he really needs to be cherished

But other times.. the boy is dirty. His partner better be ready for him to use his quirk to his advantage, and yes, I mean tentacles

They have to be accepting, he'll be very hesitant to open up about his kinks and if he senses the slightest judgement he'll never mention them ever again

I touched on Mirio earlier but Tamaki really wouldn't mind having Mirio involved in his relationship in any aspect including sex

Aftercare is huge. His partner better kiss the shit out of him and praise him and tell him how good he did.

Hawks 🍗🍗🍗

His job is confidential so his partner has to understand and respect that

Ideally his partner can tell when he has a rough day and can comfort and be there for him even though he can't discuss what happened

His partner MUST have a sense of humor. This guy is such a damn goofball, he'll need someone to laugh to tears with him

("Keigo I almost pissed laughing when Endeavor took the mic from you, he looked soooo mad hahahahahahaaa")

He's also a guy that would appreciate a partner who makes him food, he's got quite the appetite and will always finish every meal you make him

One more time: patience!! This guy spent most of his life alone, he's going to struggle opening up, being vulnerable, and being tactful.

NSFW:

He's goofy even in the bedroom, his partner has to be okay with lots of giggling and laughter even in the middle of passionate sex

His partner has to be mindful that his wings throw a wrench in basically anything you want to do, positions can be difficult because of them

Someone who's into feathers... Would be... Very. Pleased with Hawks

This man needs a lover who really truly LOVES, meaningful and emotional sex is actually really important to him

He's mostly a top so he'd need a switch at the least if not a sub. Sex is one of the only times he really feels in control, after all.

--------

#midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya headcanons #midoriya #tamaki x reader #tamaki amajiki #hawks headcanons #hawks x reader #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #bnha

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wolfcha1k · 3 years

Text

Fear Has No Sense, a Fanfic

"What if they're not what I expected?" Ratchet asked her, propping his fist on his chin, contemplating the question once again.

Rivet leaned back on her palms before casting him a little look. "Well, was I what you expected?"

Ratchet has some unfinished questions he needs to get off his chest, who better to understand than his other half of the rift?

Author's Note: Important note, only thing I know about this series is Rift Apart, so kept my horizons very small for this story. Just was a little plot bunny that was nagging me, so I spewed it out. I'm hoping its not too sappy or ends too abruptly, stuff like that, as well as the whole "plz sound like you guys are in character" thing. Lemme know what you think, I love feedback.

She found him sitting on top of his ship outside a good distance away, seeming lost in thought. There was a celebration to be had, it wasn't everyday you saved two worlds and many more in what felt like a few short days. It'd been suspicious when Ratchet had wandered off, passed the fan fair and practically evaporated from the scene. She thought him to be a guy who loved a good party.

If you had asked Rivet she would have thought he'd used that Dimensionator to scurry off somewhere.

But thankfully he hadn't, she was rather done with dimension chasing for a while. Now she just wanted to relax and digest the peace she never thought she could have ever lived to see. It'd cost her an arm quite literally but within her bones she knew she would sacrifice it again to know the world was safe.

She put a hand on her hip, hesitant on interrupting what seemed to be a private moment. Music played muffled behind them from the celebration being had, far too peppy for the mood he seemed to be in. He didn't look sad persay, merely deep and lost in his thoughts, whatever they might be they were clearly making him chase his own tail in circles.

Taking a courageous breath, she took the plunge into the metaphorical rip tide. "Hey!"

His orange head turned to look at her, slowly blinking at her once the surprise wore off. "Oh, uh, hey." The moonlight made Rivet's fur burn silver.

"Yeah, uh, hi." Smooth, she told herself with a strained grin, waving a hand as she gestured at the space next to him. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure, knock yourself out," Ratchet replied, shuffling away to make room. Rivet began to climb up, jumping onto the ship to sit down beside him.

Neither said anything, just exchanged a quick smile before glancing away to look at something else. She sometimes wondered how they could both have seamless and awkward conversations all at once. It wasn't like either of them were shy people, so what was it? They were pretty familiar with each other now too, unlike back at their first face to face introduction at Zurkie’s.

Instead of lingering on the nagging thought and joining Ratchet in his wandering mind, she spoke. "Nice night, huh?"

"Yeah, it's great to look at the stars and not see time and space tearing apart for once," he mused, jokingly as he recalled their adventure.

"Yeah, it's a major bummer when the dimensions collapsing on themselves ruins a good full moon," she joked back, smiling.

"Ugh, tell me about it." He shuffled his weight to get more comfortable, drawing his knee up. "I'm not complaining about retirement again anytime soon. Meeting you and Kit was a nice compensation though."

"Are you saying that because you like my company or because I'm another Lombax?" She copied his casual posture a moment, tipping her head to the side coyly.

"Uh… both?" He scratched the fur at his neck absently, shrugging a shoulder. "I don't know, I think I'd still like you even if you were a three eyed frog."

She gave him a look, amused. "You would make for an odd three eyed frog since we gotta match and all, so good thing you and me are Lombaxes."

"Yeah, yeah," he scoffed, large ears flat as he suppressed a snort. "Either way… it's nice not being, yanno, alone."

"Alone is something I know all too well," she told him with empathy highlighting her face and words. Of course, her loneliness had been different from what she imagined his to be like. He gave her a sympathetic look, the starlight reflecting in his gaze. "I never thought I'd actually meet someone like me… uh you?” She made something of a comical face. “It’s a bit over–”

“It's a bit overwhelming, huh?” Ratchet grinned at her when he realized they’d jinxed each other yet again. He suppressed a chuckle best he could but it was all for naught. “I think I owe you a lot of sodas at this point, sorry.”

“I could use the sugar so I’ll take you up on that offer, it's fine,” she joked, rolling her eyes with a huff. “Anyway, It’s been an adjustment period, yeah,” she replied with a sheepish look, grasping her palms together to distract herself. “My first impression wasn’t the most brilliant.”

“At least you knew how to say hi at all,” he teased her. “I didn’t peg you as the shy type.”

“Hey, neither did you!” She started in a firmer tone before it broke off into a more trickling voice. ”I don’t think I would have been able to break the ice if I didn’t have Clank,” she admitted, lifting her palm to scrub it down the back of her neck, embarrassed.

Ratchet still looked at her with a mixture of amusement and fondness. “Am I really that scary?”

“Depends how you define scary,” Rivet replied, giving him something of a knowing look that suddenly made him uncomfortable. She decided now was as good a moment as any, curious of just why he was out here. “So… uh, I’m not the best at this but…”

He sighed, already knowing what was coming when his smile came back in a more somber fashion. “My head won’t shut up,” Ratchet told her, not bothering to deny anything.

“Well, there is a really smart mouth attached to it.”

“Har, har, har, you’re funny,” he quipped, nudging her with a childish huff and pout. “I know I promised our pit stop but–”

“Is this about the other Lombaxes?” She was never one to beat around the bush, always direct, somethings ruthlessly so. Her words weren’t spoken harshly though, a gentle inflection to the question.

“Ah, sorta?” Rivet arched a brow at him in a telltale manner that made him doubletake his answer, backpedaling. “Okay, maybe a lot sorta.”

“You wanna elaborate?” She encouraged him, cocking her head with a curious blink of her intelligent eyes.

There was a pause, Ratchet taking the moment to figure out what he wanted to say. Rivet was patient, shifting between focusing on the intense frown of his brows to the matching frown on his lips. He eventually took in a breath and faced her.

“What if they’re not what I expected?” He asked her, propping his fist on his chin, contemplating the question once again. His eyes looked at the starry expanse of sky, endlessly stretching farther than the mind could imagine.

She leaned back on the back of her palms before casting him a little look. “Well, was I what you expected?” The words were laced in good humor and she grinned once she saw his startled face.

He wasn’t expecting that, big eyes round as an owl before he gave a grin of his own. Rivet was relieved to see it there, melancholy didn’t do justice to his face. “No, actually, you weren’t.” The words were honest but hardly negative, some warmth tingling them.

“I’ll assume that’s a compliment,” she teased him, her robotic hand making contact with his arm in a playful punch of camaraderie. She was sitting up again, elbows on her knees as she continued to speak. “And before you ask…”

“Ask what?” He rubbed at the spot where she’d socked him, wondering if she had any idea how much strength she really had in that cyborg hand and arm of hers. She must be a champion arm wrestler. “I think you’re pretty solid too. Those other Lombax would be dumb to not see it,” Rivet assured him and this time it was him who bumped shoulders with her.

It was only the pressure against her shoulder she felt from the nerve endings pressed into the machine, she’d lost the ability to feel much else since losing that arm despite his warm arm brushing against her. It was strange but she was used to strange. She almost had a phantom sensation of his touch.

“Thanks,” he chuckled before arching a brow playfully. “Are you reading minds now too?”

“If I’m you and you’re me, it’s a pretty obvious conclusion, right?” She challenged him, ears pricked forward.

“Man, that still makes my head hurt,” he exclaimed, pushing a palm against his forehead with a chuckle.

He wondered if there was more to that besides being shadows of one another, recalling Mags' diary entries of how other Lombaxes had been cast out into different pockets of time and space. To say the least, his mind wasn't ready in the slightest to start going down that rabbit hole just yet. There would be plenty of down time now to do so later, the excitement of peril was done.

They filled the silence that followed with what felt like calm and peace a good friend brought, content in the lull of the conversation; it didn’t feel suffocating or awkward.

Ratchet broke the quiet moment, his voice musing. “Yanno… for someone who’s been a real lone wolf, you sure know how to talk to people.”

“Hey, lone wolf doesn’t equal socially degenerate,” she quipped, shaking her head with a smile at him lifting a hand in mock defense. “Besides, I honestly get how you feel about… the whole scared of the Lombax thing.” She let her face become serious, brows furrowed as she rubbed her hands together. Ratchet could hear the purr in the motors of her robotic arm as it moved. “It wasn’t fair I threw that in your face back at Zurkie’s–”

Automatically he interrupted her, shaking his head and catching her gaze. “No, it’s alright. It wasn’t right of me to call you a coward either when you had your own fears.”

“Yeah but fear does nobody any good when it hurts people,” she told him, lifting her eyes to glance at her arm, seeing her reflection on the golden sleek metal. She turned back to him not long after, somehow feeling a sense of peace wash over her despite some of the jitters. “Guess fear just doesn’t make no sense sometimes, huh?” They shared a look, a somber smile on each other's faces.

“Yeah,” he agreed, sighing with something that almost sounded like a chuckle.

She took a moment to find what she should say next, knowing the conversation wasn’t going to end right there. A good friend did what she could to support each other, not snuff out their insecurities and ignore their needs. Her thoughts absently flew to Kit and Rivet didn’t want to make that mistake again. “Meeting you was honestly one of the most intimidating things I ever did, I can’t imagine adding to it an entire race of who knows how many more of us out there,” she confessed at last. "Fighting Emperor Nefarious was a cakewalk compared to that."

He studied her curiously, a bit surprised. Considering their argument prior to the conclusion of this whole mess, he hadn’t really expected her to have her own qualms about finding their kin. “You worry about what they might think of you too?”

“I mean, maybe a little,” Rivet started, trying to sound casual, being vulnerable wasn’t her strong suit but she was going to try her hardest. Breathing a sigh, she found her words again that were heavy on her tongue, relaxing the tension that had suddenly found itself coiled down her spine. “Well, I don’t anymore, least not like I did before we met,” she replied, meeting his eyes, mischief twinkling like a star. “You like me well enough, right?”

“You seriously need to ask me that?” He rested his elbow on his knee that was curled up close to his chest, the other leg comfortably laying under his relaxed slouch.

“That answers that,” Rivet said, sighing extravagantly in good humor before taking on a more serious tone. “Anyway, if one Lombax thinks I’m good enough, then that must mean others will think of me that way too. If not, well, then I got just the one and your approval is plenty for me.”

He smiled at her. “You think that highly of me? I’m touched.”

“Yeah, I do, and I’m not saying that because you’re the only other Lombax I know,” she told him, returning his smile with one of her own.

Ratchet seemed to consider his words, quiet for only a moment before he said anything. “Hey, Rivet?”

“Yeah, Ratchet?” “Thanks, for tonight, I mean. It helps,” he told her, appreciative as he met her eyes. “Kit and me dished some talk but guess I hadn’t gotten it all out, too much mayhem at the time.”

“It’s what friends are for, right?”

“Right,” Ratchet said, nodding his head.

They fell into a short silence, just looking at each other before Rivet decided to speak. "So… think you're finally ready for that little pit stop soon you promised me?" She arched a brow at him, a challenge he met with a toothy smirk teetering on a grin.

"I've been ready." He reached a hand out to her, bicep raised as Rivet met him halfway, robotic palm pressed into the glove of his as they met in a firm clap.

She squeezed his hand, mindful to not crush it with their arms pressed together from the grip. "That's what I like to hear."

"Good, because you'll be hearing a lot more from where that's coming, Rivet."

#ratchet & clank #ratchet and clank #ratchet and clank rift apart #my writing #my fanfiction

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years

Text

summertime sadness .3.

first day

Sequel to kiss me in the d-a-r-k

Part 1 Part 2 (masterlist under construction)

Warnings: dub con sex (intercourse, oral)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and dark(professor!)Bucky explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: You start your new job as you juggle the men in your life.

Note: back at it again with part 3. I'll keep y'all updated about a possible new posting schedule and an announcement regarding Patreon. Apparently writing every day and stressing myself out is not good for my mental health lmao. But I'm enjoying this one and I'm not sure yet if we're gonna be able to stick to 6 parts. Bon appetit. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think in a reblog, reply, or like. I'm loving the feedback from y'all and the excitement! You guys are gold. Also as always, memes accepted.

💋💋💋

You woke to the buzzer. You rolled over and grabbed you phone from the table. Your voice was thick and groggy as you answered it.

“Hello?” You nearly coughed through your dry throat.

“Delivery,” The monotone response came.

“Okay,” You shook your head confused and hit the button to let him up.

You dragged yourself from the bed and staggered to the door. You watched through the peephole as the carriers appeared at the top of the stairs. The two men in their brown uniforms carried a large box between them. They knocked once before you managed to unhook the chain and opened the door.

“Um?” You stared at them confused.

“Delivery for apartment 6,” The man read off his tablet. “Signature?”

He turned it toward you and you read your name across the top. You hadn’t ordered anything. You couldn’t afford to. You signed, still confused, and held the door open for them to drag the box inside. You thanked them and watched them go before you shut the door. You crossed your arms as you stared at the package. You needed coffee.

You brewed your usual morning potion and sipped it slowly as you paced around the box. It took up much of the space you had left. You set your mug down and grabbed your keys to slice through the plastic tape. Within was an instruction booklet and a litany of boards and screws. It was a desk.

Your phone vibrated on your night table and you stood. You grabbed your coffee and sat on the edge of your bed as you opened your phone.

‘You got your present?’ Steve’s message popped up.

‘You?’ You responded with an O face.

‘Figured you needed something better than that lumpy double,’ He returned and you tutted.

‘Thanks’ You replied with heart eyes.

‘Don’t worry. I ordered the smallest desk I could find.’

‘Still don’t think it will fit.’

‘You should be used to a tight squeeze.’ He kidded and you finished your coffee.

‘Uh huh. Well I guess I gotta day ahead of me, don’t I?’

‘Good luck.’ He sent a winky face alongside the taunt.

You returned a smiley and tossed your phone on the mattress. You stood and sighed as you once more ruminated over the box. Well, a little something to keep your mind off your nerves on your last day of freedom.

💋

You were pressed, preened, and as professional as you could get. Button up blouse patterned with small daisies, blush-toned blazer, and ironed beige pants. In your bag, you had a fresh notebook, your laptop, and about a dozen pens, including the golden on gifted to you.

You strode through the front doors of the city tower as your nerves jittered in your chest. You hadn’t been there since the workshop. You and the other students had gone on a tour of the offices and your submission earned you a page in the company’s Sceptre Magazine. It also gained you the unexpected offer for this job.

After an elevator ride which seemed to make time stand still, you stepped off into the shining offices of Adder Press. It was just as you recalled only even more intimidating. You approached the receptionist’s desk tentatively and resisted your habit of wringing your hands. The buoyant redhead greeted you with a bubbly smile.

“Hello, you must be the intern,” She chimed.

“Um, yeah, I guess that’s me,” You answered.

“Well, I’m Stacey, I don’t know if you remember me, and you can just head on over to his office. He’s waiting for you.” She clicked something with her mouse and hit the intercom button on her phone. “Mr. Laufeyson, your 8 a.m. is here.”

“Very well,” His voice replied from the speaker.

She nodded for you to you pass her desk and you ducked your head down as you left her. You vaguely recalled the layout of the office. The round desks and the cozy seating all around. You bit the inside of your lip as you wandered cluelessly through the maze of employees who knew what they were doing.

You looked up and a familiar slim figure appeared in the doorway of the office along the back of the immense space. Loki Laufeyson, the editor and owner of Adder Press, greeted you with a handshake as you neared. His green eyes sparkled above his trademark smirk. In your brief introduction, you found he always looked as if he had a secret.

“Good morning,” He let go of you and stepped back to let you into his office. “You’re early.”

“A habit,” You assured him as you entered his roomy office.

“An admirable one,” He followed and passed you as he rounded his desk. “Sit,” He waved to the seat across from him before he took his own. “First, we’ll go over the job and your expectations. Any questions you have…” He checked his watch as he crossed his legs and leaned back. “And then we have a long day ahead of us.”

“Okay,” You said as you cradled your bag in your lap.

“You’ll be shadowing me for the most part. You’ll get an idea of how the business works and everything that goes into publishing.” He explained. “And we’ll get a taste of your editing skills. I’ll hand you a few minor pieces and go from there. Meetings, pitches, and so on.”

You nodded and listened to him as you sat on the edge of the chair.

“I trust you will attune well. Your article was exceptional and I have no doubt there is a place for you in this business. Literary or otherwise.” He continued. “You are the first intern we’ve had that wasn’t a fourth year. I hope you realise the gravity of this position. Of this opportunity.”

“Of course,” You assured him. “And I’m am grateful for it.”

He tilted his head and squinted at you as he thought. He sat forward and smiled again.

“Well then, we should get started. I’ll show you your desk before we attend the morning meeting. Then you can sit in on my next. The board must select the winners of the contest for our Pride Issue of Sceptre, among other significant decisions.” He stood and tapped his desk with two fingers. “Tomorrow, we’ll deal with the marketing side of things. Just as important as the content itself.”

“Alright,” You rose, excited though too nervous to show it.

He seemed amused and turned to guide you out of his office. Your stomach flipped a second time that day and you swallowed down the storm. You had to keep reminding yourself that this was what you wanted. An actual dream come true.

💋

Your first week flew by. The workload kept you busy and your desk was quickly cluttered from it; both at work and at home. Your nights were late and mornings early. The true university experience but not for the usual reasons, though it was just as thrilling as any party.

To your surprise, Loki was an accommodating boss; in his own way. His expectations were clear but not easily met. His standards fueled you; encouraged you to fight harder to meet them. And when you didn’t, he wasn’t disappointed; rather encouraging in his singular discerning manner. That he did expect so much of you, was flattering on its own.

And your first edited piece, a quarter page review, had passed his grueling rounds of criticism. You couldn’t help but beam as he read over your final submission and uttered that single word, ‘adequate’. He looked up from his screen and across his desk. “It’ll print.”

You were still smiling as you walked out onto the street. You took out your phone, long ignored for your work. The screen was filled with notifications. Both Steve and Bucky sent identical messages; ‘How was your first week?’

You answered Steve first. ‘It was good. I think I’m getting the hang of it.’

Then Bucky. ‘Great! I’m learning so much.’

‘Awesome. Facetime tonight?’ Steve replied and you accepted the invitation.

‘Have you eaten?’ Bucky’s text popped up.

‘Not yet.’ You answered.

‘You still downtown?’ He asked. Another confirmation sent.

‘I’m at the Beer Garden. My treat. They have amazing tacos.’

‘Ten minutes,’ You promised and opened up your Maps.

When you got there, Bucky was waiting. A pitcher sat before him and two glasses; one empty, the other half-finished. You neared and set your bag on one of the tall chairs as you climbed up on another.

“Hey,” You greeted. “Didn’t think I’d ever be here again.”

“Why not? Good beer, good food,” He poured you glass as he spoke. “Good men.”

“Sure, sure,” You laughed as he set the pint before you. “So, how are classes?”

“Ugh, can we not?” He grumbled. “I didn’t come here to think about school.”

“Only to get me tipsy, eh?” You sip from the foamy stout.

“It never takes very much,” He grinned. “And I figured, we could take a walk after. There’s a nice little bookshop down the street.”

“Books? So this night will be worth it after all?” You kidded.

“Free food,” He reminded as he slid a menu over to you.

“I can get food at home, cozy in my bed with a good doc on my laptop,” You chided. “But new books? That’s better than--”

“Sex?” He ventured coyly.

“Almost.” You answered as you lifted the menu. “Though the more I think about it, free food might just change my mind.”

💋

Your stroll to the bookshop led you past Adder Press once more. It was a small nook between a cafe and a foreclosed business. As you entered a bell chimed and the smell of aged paper filled your nostrils. The walls were lined with shelves and small desk sat along the left side of the store. Books; used, new, rare, surrounded you.

You followed Bucky to the back of the shop and perused the non-fiction section as he looked over the military memoirs. The shelves between you and the front of the store blocked the view of the street through the wide bay window. It seemed darker back there; quiet.

As you scanned the back of a book on the old studio system in Hollywood, you felt a tickle along your side. Bucky’s hand gripped your hip as he turned you and slowly edged you back against the shelf. He glanced towards the front desk but cared little as he leaned in. He took the book with his other hand and blindly put it aside.

“Long week,” He purred.

“It was,” You said. “But I think you can wait a little longer.” You patted his chest and tried to push him away. “Maybe until we’re somewhere more...private.”

“Ah come on, have a little fun, miss priss,” He rubbed his nose against yours. “Just a kiss.”

He pressed his lips to your and you squirmed. You kissed him back as he trapped you in the corner. His arms wrapped around you and he slid along the shelves. Several books fell behind you noisily and he pulled away at last. You sneered and bent to pick them up as the cashier craned to look around the shelves.

“Sorry,” You waved to him as you gather the books. “Clumsy.”

You put them back on the shelves as you stood and Bucky watched you with a smirk. You growled and grabbed his arm.

“Fine, let’s go,” You snarled.

“You want that book, baby?” He teased as you dragged him back down the aisle.

“I want sleep,” You said. “And the quicker we’re out of here, the quicker I get my wish.”

He chuckled as you shoved him out onto the street. “You’re sexy when you’re mad.”

“I’m not mad.” You insisted.

“Sure,” He slung his arm over his shoulder and led you back down the street. “Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll find a way to cheer you up.”

💋

Bucky had never been to your apartment before. You always met at his; it was bigger, cozier, and less stressful. When he pulled up to your building, he killed the engine but you didn’t say anything as he followed. Surely he knew a student couldn’t afford a condo.

When you showed him into your meagre flat, he glanced around and smiled. “Quaint.”

“Affordable,” You said as you set your bag on the chair.

“Cute.” He commented as he neared your desk.

“New addition,” You explained. “Steve sent it last week.”

“Of course he did,” He mused. “Always practical, isn’t he? Well, in most things.”

“Mmm,” You grumbled and took off your blazer. “I suppose.”

“Did you send him a pic?” He asked and you lifted a brow. “Of the desk?”

“No,” You said.

“Well, why don’t you?” He winked. “We can do a little photo shoot for him.”

“I don’t think so,” You scoffed.

“For me too,” He said. “Sexy school girl. Classic.”

“Stop,” You neared him as he pulled out his phone and tried to take it from him. “Or I’m gonna send you home early.”

“Take your clothes off,” He held his phone above you. “Come on.”

“No,” You squealed. “Now put that away.”

“You can keep your panties on,” He bartered. “Just give a smile.”

“Bucky…”

“Hey, if it’s gonna be another week, I need something to keep me from getting lonely.” He argued.

You stepped back and stared up at him. You sucked your lip in and nibbled on it.

“You’re thinking about it,” He said. “I know that look.”

“One photo. That’s it.” You sighed and unbuttoned your blouse. “And it stays between you and Steve.”

“You have my word,” He grinned.

He watched you undress until you were in nothing but your bra and panties. You went to the desk and stood in front of it stiffly. You smiled. “Okay?”

“I said panties,” He intoned. “Nothing about your bra.”

You frowned and swiftly unhooked your bra and tossed it aside.

“Up,” He gestured with his hand as he held his phone up.

You pushed aside the chair and turned to clear a spot for you to sit before you climbed up awkwardly. You turned back to him and leaned on your hands.

“Stick your chest out a little,” He directed. “Good, and cross your legs. Mmm, yes. Like that.” He hit capture and lowered his phone. “Wow.”

“What?” You leapt down and scrambled over to him. “I must look awful.”

“You look… hot,” He growled the last word. “Fuck. Get those panties off while I send this to Steve.” He rubbed his crotch as he flicked his thumb over his screen. “I can’t wait much longer.”

You rolled your panties down your legs as you turned away from him. You heard him set his phone down as you neared the bed.

“No, I want you back on that desk,” He said. “Now.” You spun back and put your hands on your hips. He shook his head in warning. “You know what happens to bad girls.” He warned.

You strutted over to the desk as he pulled his shirt over his head. He kicked off his shoes as he slowly closed in on you. He stripped deliberately until he was before you, naked and hard. You stared up at him and he lifted you up onto the desk. He pushed your knees apart and stepped between your legs.

“Do you remember that first time? On my desk? Hmm?” He inhaled your scent as he dragged his nose along your cheek. “I’ve been thinking about that all week.”

“Oh yeah,” You breathed as you felt along his sides and around his broad back. “Do you think about me when you teach?”

“Always,” He snarled. “I think about fucking you, front and centre, right in front of everyone.”

“Really?” His lips tickled your temple as he plied kisses one at a time. You leaned back and bared your throat.

“You know, what I really want,” He nuzzled your neck as he spoke. “I want you under my desk as I mark… help keep me focused.”

“Oh?” You moaned as his fingers inched along your stomach. “When do you mark?”

“Whenever you’re free, baby,” He nibbled at your skin between words.

“Tomorrow?” You felt long his thigh and brushed your fingertips along his sac. He shivered.

“Tomorrow.” He gulped as you gripped him. “Meet me at my office.”

“Mmm,” You pulled him close as rubbed his tip along your folds. “What about tonight?”

“Tonight,” He lifted his head as you guided him to your entrance. “Tonight I’m gonna fuck you till you scream.”

He pushed into you and you gasped. You wrapped your arms and legs around him, hungry for him. Each time he thrust, the desk wobbled and clattered against the wall. You clawed at his back as you curled your pelvis towards him, longing to take every inch of him. You moaned and locked your legs around his ass.

“Make me scream,” You taunted.

He grunted and plunged into you harder. You were at the edge of the desk, entirely at his mercy. He pushed his hand between your bodies and pressed his thumb to your clit. He rubbed you roughly, painfully almost, yet the thrill of it was delicious. Your moans grew louder and louder.

He reached back with one hand and tore your arm from around him. Your other arm slipped as he pushed you onto your back and pulled your ass over the edge of the desk. Your grasped onto the desk above your head as he crashed into you. Your body jerked across the painted white wood and you gritted your teeth as your voice rose.

“Come on, baby,” He rutted into you, harder and harder. “Come on.” He hissed as his thumb worked your clit. “Scream.”

He impaled you entirely and you obeyed. He wrenched your orgasm from you and your legs quivered around him as you shrieked. Your head lolled and you covered his hand with yours as his thumb kept its motion. When it stopped, he dug his fingers into your hips and began to thrust again.

His own climax was barely smothered as he hung his head back and bit down on his lip. He pulled out and his cum spilled onto your vee and dripped down your cunt. You gulped and gasped as you tried to catch your breath and he lowered your legs back to the floor. Your sat up as his cum cooled along your thigh.

“You still mad, baby?” He asked as he framed your face with his hands.

You pulled his hands away and placed them on your tits. “You still have some work to do.”

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readyplayerhobi · 4 years

Text

Flower | 08

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, slight angst

; Word Count: 3.9k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: Yet another chapter for us all! :D I hope you’re still enjoying it and you like the new banner! This is what he looks like in this fic obviously, just with tattoos and a lip ring. Please reblog if you enjoyed and leave me comments, feedback and asks! It helps to fuel my inspiration for this to know you all love it too!

; Flower Masterpost

The bar in front of you looks ever so slightly dinghy, but you can’t tell if that’s an actual thing or if you’re just stereotyping it. This was the bar that Hoseok and his friends frequented often, a rock bar apparently.

It sounded like everything you hated but you knew he loved it given all the stories he’d told you over the last month of the mischief they all got up to. Apparently when you added alcohol into their strange friendship, it resulted in pure chaos. Part of you wanted to see it, but the overwhelming part of you was terrified.

You’d never been in a situation like this before. Previous partners had been in college, where you already knew their friends. This was new territory, terrifying territory. When you walked through that door, you were going to be meeting Hoseok and his closest friends for the first time.

It made you want to be sick. They probably had expectations on you. There was no way he hadn’t talked about you to them...or what if hadn’t? What if you were a complete surprise to them? What if he’d spouted so much crap and they were disappointed when they meet you? Thought he could do better? What if they hated you? Publicly ignored you or insulted you.

Not that you think Hoseok would let them.

You’d both been dating now just over a month and you were pretty sure that he was the kind of person who wouldn’t accept someone being mean to you. But friends were important, right? If Chungha and Soyeon both expressly disapproved of Hoseok then you doubted that you’d have stayed with him.

What if they told him that they didn’t like you? Would he leave you?

You’re so busy catastrophizing just outside of the door that you don’t notice when someone comes out of it, the music from inside loud enough to be heard when the door is open but not deafening. A hand pressing on your arm gently makes you jump, eyes widening as you look up into the face of Hoseok.

“You’ve gotta stop jumping like this. I’m worried you’ll give yourself a heart attack. Anyway, any reason you’re out here instead of coming inside? Like the smell of piss and weed or something?” Your nose wrinkles at that, acknowledging the disgusting smell that you’d been trying not to think about and he laughs.

“I was...coming. I just…” You struggle to get the words out, shrugging rather limply and he sighs softly. Hoseok had been trying to encourage to meet his friends now for a week, his texts saying that tonight was happening and he’d really, really love it if you came. It was a good sign that he wanted you to meet them, you knew that, but your very nature recoiled away from socialising with large amounts of people.

And that was to say nothing about being out on a weeknight, your body screaming to just go home and relax on the couch with Netflix. Or the fact that you were going to be the centre of attention.

Just the thought made you seize up in anxiety, body going cold while your breath came a little faster. Hoseok seems to tell that your mood has changed and he shifts around in front of you, cupping your face in his hands while his thumbs gently stroke at your cheeks.

“Hey...hey. What’s wrong? Tell me. Is it this? You don’t have to, I won’t be mad. Swear. I’ll call a taxi for you and you can go home if you want.” He’s looking at you earnestly, his eyes scanning over your face to track every micro expression and you feel his genuine care. The girls were right in that you’d found a good one here.

“No, no. I don’t...I just...it’s a lot. I don’t...I,” Wiping at your mouth, you look up at the sky and try hard not to start hyperventilating or something. “What if they don’t like me? And everyone’s going to be staring at me and judging me and I hate when I’m the centre of-”

“Hey...it’s okay. We’ll...I’ll make sure that they don’t make you feel uncomfortable okay? They’re good people. And they’ll like you. You’re hard not to like. Just...be yourself.” The smile on his face is reassuring but you can still feel the anxiety bubbling deeply within.

“Myself is someone with social anxiety who talks about useless crap and blurts out overly sarcastic comments. I’d rather be someone else.” You look away at that, brows rising for a moment while your lips turn down. The sound of Hoseok sighing fills your eyes and you feel bad for whining at him, knowing that he’d only know you a month and he was already having to put up your stream of negativity.

“I don’t. I like you. The useless crap is interesting and the sarcastic comments are hilarious. I want to introduce my friends to you...my girlfriend. Not some other girl, okay? Do you want to go in or…?” He points at the door, smiling at you and you just nod, eyes wide as a warmth blossoms from deep within.

He called you his girlfriend.

The pleased shock of what he’d called you wears off quickly as he moves along the sticky floor to the booth where his friends are all sat. It’s dim inside, the overhanging lights dull while the neon green and pink of the beer logos behind the bar contrast vibrantly. A whole multitude of spirits and other forms of alcohol sit on the space below them along with various whiskeys on the optics, just waiting for someone to order them.

Hoseok glances over at a platinum blonde haired girl behind the bar, her arms and neck covered with even more tattoos than Hoseok, before he raised a hand and pointed to you. “Can you bring a Coke please?” The girl nods and reaches for a fresh glass from above but you don’t get to pay anymore attention as Hoseok’s hand presses against your lower back once more.

It’s easy to tell where his friends are. The place isn’t too big and there isn't a huge amount of people here, only a few booths filled up. But his friends are loud, talking at incredible volumes and laughing even louder than that. You know it’s them because he’s leading you directly to them, the pressure from his hand a little stronger as you hesitate.

“It’s okay.” He whispers, quickly pressing a kiss to your temple and you heat up at the public display of affection. Yet despite the embarrassment that rolls through you, there’s an equal amount of reassurance that you feel at his presence.

The noise quietens down when you both walk up, seven interested faces glancing you up and down before looking over at Hoseok. They all look a bit squashed into the booth and Hoseok grabs two chairs from a nearby empty table, quickly ushering you into one.

“Okay so, well...errr…” He sounds a little nervous and you realise with a start that he probably is as nervous as you are. These are his friends after all, you have no doubt that he wants them to like you while also hoping that you’ll like them. He quickly introduces each person, pointing to each one and you follow along, giving shy smiles to each one as they smile in return or wave.

“And...well...this is Y/N. If anyone says anything mean then I will feed you a rotten egg. I have one in my fridge that I need to throw out, so it can happen.” Hoseok threatens lightly, his smile light but you can sense an edge behind it too. No one says anything in response to that and he shuffles a tiny bit closer, his arm moving to rest on the back of your chair.

“Err...hi.” It’s all you can get out, your body tensing from their attention. You think frantically for something else to say, desperately hoping that someone else will take up the mantle for you and thankfully, Jimin’s fiancée Eden does.

“What do you do then? Anything interesting?” The question makes you glance down at your hands, their carefully painted nails playing with the zip on your bag as you swallow.

“I’m just an admin assistant for a wholesaler. Nothing interesting.” She nods at that with a laugh, rolling her eyes and leaning back into her partner. His hair isn’t pink anymore, but instead a deep black that makes him look appallingly attractive.

Actually they all look attractive and you want to point an accusatory finger at Hoseok, wondering how on earth he managed to find six other men who looked like they modelled for high fashion brands at the weekend. Nothing to boost your self confidence than having seven guys prettier than you around you.

“God, I feel you. I’m convinced there’s no such thing as hell otherwise my life would not be as shit as it is. I’m a receptionist at a doctor’s clinic, which would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that patients are not only dumb as fuck but also some of the rudest people out there. Like...I get you’re in pain and hurting but there’s no need to be an ass, you know?” You find yourself smiling with a nod, her open nature and friendliness calling out to you.

“You think that’s bad? Try having to deal with people who need legal representation when you know they’re the scum of the earth. God, I wish I’d chosen something boring to specialise in, like property law. Law and Order makes it look really interesting but it’s really not, it’s just stress and boring research.” Namjoon’s the one who says that, his hair blonde and shaved pretty short on the sides.

He has a kind face, you decide, as you watch him laugh over something Jungkook says, the man next to him. Deep dimples spot his cheeks when he smiles and you can easily see why he ended up being the first to not only marry but also have a child.

His wife is apparently still in the end stages of pregnancy, hence why she’s not here tonight. As nice as the extra female company would have been, you’re sure she’s probably curled up at home. Part of you wishes you were curled up at home too.

“Friends, friends...I have two words for you all...customer...service.” Taehyung, a ridiculously attractive man who you think actually should have a career as a model instead of a customer service representative, says with raised brows, hands lifting into the air as he shrugs. His eyes are barely visible beneath the tousled, curled black hair he’s sporting.

Hisses and winces of sympathy erupt from everyone, including you, before the conversation carries on further. Nothing else leaves you because you can’t think of anything to talk about so you simply listen. No one notices the quietness that you fall into as they continue to talk, their friendships allowing them to chat easily and quickly through numerous topics that you don’t particularly understand.

You’re good at disappearing into the background of people, vanishing from conversations and simply watching them happen around you. It was a lot easier than trying to figure out how to talk without sounding like an idiot, which was a regular occurrence for you.

But after ten minutes of it, apart from a thank you to the bartender who brings you your drink, Hoseok evidently takes notice. He leans close to you, lips brushing against your ear and you shiver ever so slightly as his warm breath tickles the fine hairs as he speaks in a low voice to you.

“Is everything okay? You’ve gone quiet.” You look at him with wide eyes, shrugging slightly as you curl into yourself a little more. He frowns in response, lips pursing slightly and causing his lip ring to jut out funnily as he contemplates your response.

But he doesn’t say anything vocally, instead just moves his arm to wrap around your shoulders and tug you a little closer. He’s delightfully warm against you and the now familiar smell of peppermint and sandalwood envelops you as he does so. You have no idea what cologne he uses but it smells amazing, and there’s nothing better than a nice smelling guy sometimes.

“Hoseok told us about your first date by the way, I’m not surprised he couldn’t get out of an escape room.” Jimin pipes up suddenly, a mischievous look on his face as Hoseok stiffens next to you in outrage. He’s sputtering for a reply and you can’t help but smile, ducking your head down and shrugging.

“Don’t be too mean, I also couldn’t get us out.” You admit quietly, a meek look on your face as they all laugh. Taehyung pointed at Jungkook with an incredulous look, eyes widening as he accuses the post-grad student.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing, the last time we did one of those you broke the fucking door. Got banned from the damn place after having to pay to have it fixed.” Everyone looks at Jungkook in amusement at that, an oddly fond expression woven into them as he begins to protest his innocence immediately.

“I didn’t break it! I just...tried opening it. And it did.” He gestures, shoulders slumping as he slides down the seat ever so slightly, his bottom lip sticking out in an adorable pout. From what you’ve learnt from Hoseok, Jungkook is most definitely the baby of the group. Not because he acts like a child, but because he’s the youngest and the others all treat him like a little brother.

“You. Kicked. The. Door. The fuck did you think was gonna happen?”

“Everyone said that doesn’t work in real life! I thought I’d just kick it and nothing would happen, maybe make my foot hurt or something. Felt cool though, like I was in a crime show.” Namjoon sighs deeply at that, rubbing his hand over his eyes with a weariness you get the feeling he experiences more often than not with these guys.

“Yeah, if you wanted to be in Brooklyn 99 and not Criminal Minds.” The words are filled with more than a little sarcasm from Taehyung who crosses his arms over his chest, suddenly making you realise how broad he is. It’s not helped when you find yourself assessing them all and realising that while Taehyung and Seokjin are both incredibly wide, Yoongi and Jimin appear to be almost petite with how slender they are.

“Well I may have sucked ass, and perhaps we would die if we ended up in a horror situation which required us to solve our way out of a room, but I didn’t break anything. And the rest of the date went fine, thank you very much.” Hoseok leans back in his chair, a smirk on his face as he looks smugly at them all.

And you can’t help it, you just cannot help yourself.

“Except for when you told me about that girl throwing up on your dick.”

Immediately he looks at you in betrayal, jaw dropping open and letting you see that he’s changed his tongue piercing for a black ball instead of silver. But you can’t help but smile and giggle his brows furrowed in disbelief, the noise increased in volume when he starts to tickle you playfully.

“I told you that in confidence!”

“No you didn’t, you said it in the middle of a restaurant on a first date! That’s like...the least confidential thing ever. You may as well have hired a skywriter to write it out or something.” You wriggle away from his fingers, pushing at his hands to try and avoid them.

Hoseok pauses, lips pursing together as he looks you over before he sneers. It’s not a mean face, you can see the joy in his eyes and part of you feels relief rush through you that you haven't offended him. “Maybe so.”

“A girl threw up on your dick?” Jungkook asks, his face a complete picture of disgust. On the contrary, Jimin just shrugs before waving a hand airily.

“Hey man, you do you. If that’s what gets you off then that’s what gets you off. This is a non-judgemental place.” He said serenely, causing Eden to turn and look at him with a raised brow.

“You get turned on at egg-laying dildos. In fact...you told me that you wanted to try role playing as Thanos the other night.” That stuns everyone into silence, a slight look of judgement on everyone’s face as they look at the smaller man. He maintains a perfectly blank face before shrugging.

“I will admit that maybe my sexual practices aren’t your normal ones…”

The conversation spirals after that, becoming one of intense discussions about sexual preferences, kinks and even fetishes. Some of the things said make you heat up from curiosity but most of them are because of pure embarrassment. They laugh and joke about things that you’ve never heard anyone joking about before and you find that you don’t have anything to add.

Not that you’re sure you want to have anything to add. You do find out though that Hoseok has been much more adventurous in bed than you given some of the stories both he and the others tell. Apparently a few of them had lived together in college and they’d had a truly wild time during those years.

It was certainly amusing though and you found that you quite liked just listening to them talk, absorbing their stories and disseminating the intense history between them all. The easy way they slipped into each others conversations made their long friendships obvious and you felt a pang of longing for something like this.

There was no doubt that Chungha and Soyeon were the same with you, but you’d never seen it like this on such a large scale with this many friends.

After a while though, you feel your inner tolerance for social situations rapidly depleting and a swirl of anxiety runs through you as you realise that it’s already nearing 9pm. You still have to get home, a thirty minute taxi ride away, and then shower for the next day. Your bed is calling you more than ever and you fidget for a few minutes, wondering how to politely tell Hoseok that you wanted to leave.

Leaving social events was never easy for you because you always felt like you were going to let people down or have them judge you. But you were tired, your eyes beginning to droop as your energy levels fell and the makeup on them pulled them down. The warmth of Hoseok against you wasn’t helping either, the desire to curl up into him and sleep so strong.

You don’t realise that you’ve drifted off for a few minutes, head resting against Hoseok’s shoulder as one hand lays on his thigh. Not until he gently jerks you awake, your eyes widening as you blink rapidly to try and move through the fog of sleep.

“Hey...you wanna go home? I’ll call a taxi for you.” A murmur of protest leaves you, a new anxiety at letting him down burning at you but he shakes his head with a sweet smile. Pressing his lips to your forehead, he grabs his phone and opens the Uber app. “It’s okay, honestly. I know you’re tired by now and I’d rather you go now than stay out and be even more tired.”

You can’t find it in yourself to complain any further, just laying your head back down on his shoulder and trying your hardest to stay awake. It was hard though, and you wondered what his friends thought seeing you like this. A benefit to being so drained of energy though was that you didn’t particularly care what they thought of you right now. You just wanted to go home and go to bed.

“Come on, it’s here,” Hoseok whispered, shifting you until you got up out of the uncomfortable wooden seat, stretching out with a quiet groan. “I’m just gonna take her to the taxi.”

“Bye, it was nice meeting you.” You say, your voice incredibly soft but all of them give you a smile in response as they give their goodbyes as well. Hoseok takes your hand, entangling your fingers, before gently pulling you back through the bar to the door. The waiting Uber is parked at the side of the road, waiting for you to get in and Hoseok walks over, opening the door.

Before you get in though, you wrap your arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. “Do you think it went okay?”

Your words are a little muffled but he hears them anyway, the street is pretty quiet except for the idling engine of the car. His hand rubs along your back slowly and you lean a tiny bit back, looking up at him in the crappy lighting.

“I think it went good. Don’t worry about it, honestly. Anyway...text me when you get home so I know you’re safe, okay?” You nod, feeling a little like you’re being instructed by a parent but it makes you feel warm and good at his concern. “Good. I’ll text you good night.”

With that, he gives you a sweet kiss goodnight, nothing intense or passionate. Just...nice, a goodbye kiss. And once he’s done, despite the flurry of butterflies you still feel when he kisses you, you get into the taxi and smile at him as he closes the door and watches as the car drives off.

Hoseok heads back into the bar once he can’t see the Uber anymore, excited happiness buzzing through him. He really did think it had gone well tonight; both on your side and his friends side. Even though he’d prewarned them that you were pretty shy and awkward, they’d been very respectful in a way that had surprised him.

Sitting back on his chair, he leans forward and grabs his beer, taking a deep swig before placing it back down. Everyone is sat staring at him, each with a differing expression on their face and he knows what they’re all waiting for.

Sighing deeply, he shrugs and lifts his hands up. “Well?”

“Where did you find that church mouse?” Jimin asks, his brows rising incredibly high. A few of the other chuckle, lips turning up as they nod and Hoseok feels defensiveness rising in him.

“She’s not that bad. Just...quiet. I told you she was.” He’s about to say more but Namjoon holds up a hand, calming down the atmosphere immediately.

“She was nice Hoseok. A little nicer than we’re used to with you I think. But that’s good, don’t get offended!” He says when Hoseok’s face turns outraged. “I think she’ll be good for you. You seem very relaxed with her.”

“I think you’re cute together,” Eden pipes up with a grin. “The shy girl and the loud, tattooed guy. Like one of those romance books or a fanfic.”

Hoseok frowns slightly, running his tongue over his lip ring. “Is that good?”

“Yes. She’s living the dream, that’s all I’ll say.”

856 notes · View notes

dameronsgalaxygal · 4 years

Text

I’ve Been Waiting For You-Chapter 9: Andante, Andante

series masterlist

Pairing: modern!poe x reader

Warnings: smut (18+), language, mentions of past abusive relationship.

Word Count: 4117

Song: Andante, Andante

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long! I have been so busy but I finally had the chance to sit down and write! thank you for being so patient with me, I love you. ALSO this song is important, so I encourage you to listen! and yes, this one is smutty y'all. this is my first time writing smut, so bare with me. feedback and comments would be greatly appreciated! taglist is open!

Summary: You find yourself wanting to get closer to Poe in a more intimate way.

You woke up earlier than Poe the next morning. You rolled over in your bed to see Poe, his mouth open slightly as tiny snores escaped him. You smiled. He was beautiful even when he was sleeping.

You reached over, pushing the curl that was resting on his forehead back and kissing his forehead. He stirred and closed his mouth briefly before returning to his snoring state. You chuckled, smiling at him for a moment before heading into the living room.

Rey sat at the dining table with a bowl of cereal. She gave you a small smile as milk dripped down her chin. You laughed and pointed to your chin for her to wipe it off, in which she did.

You grabbed a mug from the cupboard before turning the coffee pot on.

“How’re you feeling?” Rey asked, her mouth still full of Cheerios.

You smiled softly, pouring yourself a cup and turning to face her.

“I’m feeling good.”

She swallowed her food, smiling widely. “Good.”

“It feels nice, knowing I don’t have to hold back anymore. It hurts, sure, but knowing that I have nothing to hide anymore...it's like a release. You know. Poe knows.” You sat down in the chair next to her.

Rey nodded as Rose emerged from her bedroom with a wide grin across her face and a robe around her body. You and Rey both cocked your eyebrows.

“Good morning!” She sang.

“Morning,” You both laughed.

“Have a good night?” Rey smirked, standing up and walking to the sink to rinse her bowl.

“Fantastic.” Rose sat down across from you.

You chuckled and shook your head, “Every day I thank whoever built this apartment for building very, very thick walls.”

Rose giggled and sighed dreamily.

“So,” Rey started, leaning against the counter, “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Well…”

The sound of two doors opening caught you and your roommates attention and you flickered your eyes to the hallway that led to the bedrooms.

A sleepy Poe appeared in the hallway rubbing his eyes. You smiled, your head resting in your hand.

Behind him appeared a familiar figure that had come from Rose’s room. Your jaw dropped.

“You’re sleeping with Finn?!” You looked at Rose.

Poe stopped in his tracks before turning around to see his best friend biting back a smile.

Poe smirked, “I knew it!” He pointed at his roommate.

Finn shot him a look, “No you did not.”

You rolled your eyes and laughed as the two boys continued to bicker back and forth. Rey gave Rose a look that said ‘nice job’.

“How long?” Poe asked Finn as he approached you, putting his hands on your shoulders and kissing your head.

“Two months now,” Finn and Rose answered together.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” You chuckled.

Rose shrugged, “You didn’t ask.”

Poe laughed lightly before grabbing himself a cup of coffee.

Rose and Finn continued to talk about their evening while you sipped your cup of decaf and Rey made her way back to her bedroom to get ready for work.

You stood up, walking to the counter where Poe was lingering.

“You work today?” You asked, looking up at him.

He nodded, “Flight at 2.”

“Where to?”

“Dallas.”

You nodded, setting your mug down and wrapping your arms around his neck. “When will you be back?”

“Saturday morning.” He leaned down to peck your lips. “Why?”

You shrugged, your fingers playing with the curls at the back of his neck. “Just wondering.”

He smiled softly, “Do you want me to come over when I get back?”

“Or I can come over. I work until 3. I can come over after.”

“I’d love that” He smiled widely, kissing you again.

His lips were soft and warm, the familiar sensation sending a shockwave through your body.

You pulled away after a moment, sighing softly and keeping your eyes closed.

“You okay?” His voice carried worry.

“Yeah, I think so.” You smiled, eyes opening to catch his.

He smiled before kissing your forehead. “I’m proud of you. For opening up. I know that wasn’t easy.”

“It wasn’t. In fact, It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” You let out a dry laugh. Poe frowned.

You noticed his face change and shook your head, moving your hands from the back of his neck to cup his cheeks.

“I’m glad I did it.” You ensured him.

He nodded with a sympathetic smile.

“Thank you. You’re the first person I have trusted with all of this. I couldn’t have done it without you. I love you.” You rested your forehead on his.

“I love you too,” He whispered.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

You wanted to tell him over and over again how much you loved him. You wanted to make up for every single time he said it and wouldn’t say it back because you were scared. You weren’t scared anymore.

It was funny, you thought it was going to take you years to get over your trauma, let alone be in another relationship, but Poe was so different. He changed your mind about so many things. You loved him, and you wanted to prove that to him.

He kissed you again before getting out of your embrace and going to talk to Finn. You stayed in your spot in the kitchen for a moment before seeing Rey come out of her room.

“Rey!” You walked over to her as she grabbed her purse from the couch.

“What’s up?”

“Can...can I talk to you about something?” You turned to look back at your boyfriend, then back to your cousin. “Privately?”

Rey checked her phone before replying , “Can you make it quick?”

You nodded, walking to your bedroom. She followed you inside, crossing her arms.

“You okay?” She asked as you closed the door slightly.

You took a deep breath and sat on your bed. You were nervous.

“Y/N?”

“I think...I mean, I want…” You started. Rey cocked her eyebrow.

“I want to go further with Poe. Physically.”

She smiled, “You mean you want to fuck him?”

You shot her a look, “When you put it that way, it makes it sounds like I want to go feral.”

“You don’t?”

“I do,” You admitted, “Just not...yet. I want to take it easy.. Connect with him. If something happens...that’s too much.. I just don’t want to be manhandled right away after getting out of my relationship with Kyle,” You sighed.

“Talk to him.” She said, sitting on the bed beside you, “You know he respects you.”

“I know...but… I don’t know. I mean, the last time I had sex was the day before I came to Florida and...fuck, it hurt. It was just..” You shook your head to fight back your emotions.

“I know,” She put your arm around you.

“Talk to him.” She repeated.

You looked at her, smiling softly.

“He loves you, Y/N. I see it so much.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Knock, knock.” Poe knocked on the cracked open door to let you know he was entering.

You smiled at him as Rey stood up.

“I gotta head to work, I’ll see you both later.” She gave you a look of encouragement before heading out.

You sent her a small wave before standing up to meet Poe.

“Everything okay?” He rested his hand on your cheek, brushing an eyelash away from under your eye.

“Everything’s great.” You turned your head to kiss his palm.

He grinned before releasing his hand and going to grab his shoes from the side of your bed, “I gotta head home and get ready for work, but I’ll see you Saturday?”

“Absolutely,” You ensured him.

“Great. See you then, love you” He gave you a sweet kiss before leaving.

You couldn’t wait for Saturday.

-----

“Can you pass me the Tapatío?”

You reached over the dining table to grab the small sauce bottle, passing it to Poe.

“I don’t understand how you can add that to the ribs that are already drenched in barbecue sauce, which by the way, is kinda tangy. Warn me next time.” You took a bite of your barbecue pulled pork sandwich that was causing a mess in your hands.

Poe laughed as he poured some Tapatío on his stack of ribs, “What, you don’t like a little spice?”

“Oh I do, just not that much! I would much rather be able to feel my tongue when I eat.”

“Weak,” Poe teased in which you shot him a look. He just smirked.

Fuck, that smirk.

You bit your lip slightly as you examined his facial features. You had taken in his looks before, he was your boyfriend for pete's sake, but you were feeling something different now. Since you had told him about what you had gone through, you felt so much more brave. So open. So vulnerable.

It was almost as if one feeling had completely left you and another arrived. Loathing for Kyle was replaced by love for Poe. But there was still something missing it seemed like. That physical connection.

You and Poe continued with your take-out meal and cleaned up your faces and hands since you had both gotten barbecue sauce all over your lips and fingers. Poe suggested that you two watch a movie up in his room since you had finally gotten comfortable being at his place after spending the night after your half-year anniversary a few days ago. Of course, you had only slept in the guest room, but again, you weren’t scared anymore. Plus, you would never pass up an opportunity to cuddle Poe in a big fluffy bed.

“Did you plan on spending the night?” He asked as you crawled into his bed.

“I don’t know, we’ll see how tired I am.” You shrugged.

“Well,” He crawled next to you, “If you decide to stay, let me know. I have some pajama pants and a T-shirt you can wear.”

You nodded, putting your hand on the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss. He kissed you cautiously, as normal, and slowly.

When you didn’t pull away after a few moments like you normally do, Poe let a hand sneak up your blouse and rest on your waist. That’s when you pulled away and Poe removed his hand.

“I’m sorry,” He panicked.

“No, it’s-” You began.

“I didn’t mean to… I’ve been so good at controlling myself.”

You caught your bottom lip between your teeth. You swore he was sweating.

“Poe..” You spoke as he rambled.

“I understand if you want to go lay in the gues-”

“Make love to me.”

Poes face shifted completely, his lips parting slightly, “What?”

You sighed, crawling into his lap and putting your hand on his cheek.

“I can’t live in fear forever. You..” You took a breath, “You have been there for me since the day I moved here. You helped me get on my feet with a job..you became my best friend in a matter of weeks. I...I fell in love with you so fast, and while that scared the shit out of me and I couldn’t say it when you did...I now know what I want. I want you. I trust you.”

“Are you sure?” He asked you genuinely, “I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. And I’m sorry if I’ve been pushy toward the subject. You know I would never..” You placed a finger on his lips to silence him.

“I’m sure. I love you, and I want to do this with you. I feel so emotionally connected to you, and I want to..” You took a breath, “I want you to show me what making love feels like. I’ve never felt it before,” You whispered the last part.

He gave you a soft, sympathetic smile as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “Baby, you remember what you told me? Kyle put you through so much pain when he would have sex with you and I don’t want you to relive that.”

You shook your head, “That’s why I want to do this with you. Because I know you’ll make me feel beautiful. You��ll make me feel safe again. I love you, Poe.”

“I love you too, Y/N.” He spoke softly. If you two were going to do this, he wanted to do it right.

“So,” You swallowed hard, “I want you to touch me.” You didn’t mean to sound so desperate, but Poe happily obliged.

He smiled at you again before kissing you once more, except this time his kisses had more meaning. More passion, More love.

Your hands ran up and down his chest as his ran up your blouse to your back, his fingers soft and light as they grazed your spine.

He pulled away, looking into your eyes for any second thoughts. He failed to find any.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure.”

“Promise me you will let me know if anything becomes too much, okay?” He slowly laid you back on the bed.

“I promise. Just...take it easy with me, please.” You spoke breathlessly.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He pressed soft, gentle kisses from your cheek to under your jaw then back to your lips.

“Okay, you can be a little rougher than that.” You giggled.

Poe smirked before kissing you with a bit more urgency, his hand coming up to rest on the side of your neck. His tongue traced over your bottom lip and you let out a small moan, giving him just enough space to enter your mouth.

He tilted his head to kiss you deeper and you let out another moan before he detached his lips from yours, reattaching them to the warm skin located along your neck and shoulder. He pulled back only to remove his T-shirt.

Your eyes fluttered closed, a sigh full of content escaped your lips. He kissed down your neck to right above the collar of your pastel pink blouse. He stopped, looking up at you. “Can I?”

You looked down at him, nodding slowly. He smiled, his hands coming up to slowly unbutton your shirt. You arched your back to give him easier access to take it off of you, tossing it to the floor. His fingertips traced the lace of your black bra before reaching around you and putting his fingers on the clasp. He gave you another look, waiting for his cue to continue. You nodded and he removed your bra in a second.

You blushed, looking away when you saw his reaction upon seeing your breasts.

“Baby,” He smiled, his hands now gently running over your stomach, “You are so beautiful.”

You looked at him, your cheeks completely flushed.

He leaned down to kiss you, “So damn beautiful. Can I touch you?”

You nodded quickly, your hand shooting up to rest in his curls.

He attached his mouth to your breast, sucking gently and releasing a small gasp from your lips. His other hand rested on your stomach, rubbing over it gently. He moved to your other breast, swirling his tongue over the sensitive bud. You arched your back, already overwhelmed by the way he was making you feel, and he hadn't even reached where you really wanted him.

“Poe..”

He detached his mouth, “Is this okay?”

“More than.” You smiled, running your hand through his hair. He smiled back before kissing down your chest to your stomach right above the waistline of your leggings.

“Are you one hundred percent positive you want to do this? We can stop now, I don’t mind.” He looked up at you.

You shook your head, “I don’t want to stop. I want to feel you.”

With that he leaned up to kiss you again, his hand tangling in your hair. He kissed down your cheek to your neck, your collarbone, your chest, your stomach. He didn’t let an inch of your exposed skin go unkissed. He wanted to take his time with you. To cherish you. To love you.

When he arrived at your leggings again, you rose your hips slightly, giving him permission to slide them down your legs. He kissed your thighs, the feeling of his lips against you making you tingle. He looked up at you one more time before hooking his thumbs underneath your panties, removing them slowly. He smiled.

You bit your lip, already aching for him.

“Can I eat you out?” He asked in which you giggled.

“Please.”

He ran his hands up your body as he settled himself between your legs.

“You’re already so wet, baby.” He smirked before kissing your core softly.

You gasped, a hand shooting to his hair immediately.

His tongue worked slowly, taking in your taste as much as it could. He reached one hand up for your free hand to grab. You took it gladly, squeezing it tightly as his tongue worked against you. He sucked gently on your clit, allowing a moan to escape your lips and your hips to buck forward.

“Please, Poe. Do-don’t stop” You whimpered.

You could feel him smile against you as his tongue continued to lick stripes up and down your throbbing pussy before pushing his tongue inside of you. You began to squirm, tiny whimpers and moans escaping your lips.

“Fuck, Poe.” You arched your back as the muscles in your belly began to tighten, “I’m gonna…”

He pulled back, his free hand rubbing tight circles on your clit, “Go ahead, baby.”

Almost on cue, you let out your release with a whimper of Poes name. He reattached his lips to your pulsating core to ride you through your orgasm, looking up at you as you tried to catch your breath. There was a shimmer in his eyes that you had never seen before. It almost made you want to cry.

He pulled off, licking his lips before crawling back up to you to kiss you again, “You taste so good, baby.”

You whined at his words, pulling him in to crash your lips to his. You reached down as you kissed him to play with his belt buckle. Without removing his lips from yours, he pulled his belt from the loops and unbuckled his pants. You pulled away, watching him as he removed his pants and boxers. Shit, he’s big.

You gulped before trying to adjust your position, reaching for him but he grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“I want to take care of you,” You told him.

He shook his head, “This isn’t about me. This is about you, about us. I want to take care of you. Make you feel good.”

You relaxed, nodding slowly. He smiled, kissing you gently before reaching onto his nightstand and grabbing a condom. You stopped him and his face immediately dropped.

“Do you want to stop?”

You shook your head, “I want you to come inside me. I’m safe and on the pill.”

“Baby..”

“Please, Poe. I want this, I want you.” You begged.

He gave you a soft smile before nodding and placing the condom back in the nightstand. He leaned down to kiss your neck as he pumped himself a few times before lining himself up with your entrance.

You wrapped your arms around his neck as he slowly pushed inside you. The new feeling caused your breath to catch in your throat. You closed your eyes, pulling him tighter to you. He was big, like nothing you had ever experienced before. The way he stretched you made you whimper.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his thumb stroking your cheek gently.

“I just, need a moment..you’re bigger than I expected,” You laughed sheepishly.

He chuckled, “You let me know when you want me to move, okay?”

You nodded, pulling him for another kiss. This time, it felt magical. It felt like there was nothing else to worry about in the world, like your past with Kyle didn’t even exist. You felt like Poe was the only person in your life that existed. This was the closest you had ever been to him. Literally.

You pulled away, his forehead resting on yours. “Move, Poe. Please,” You whispered.

He kissed you again as he slowly began to thrust in and out. You let your head fall back into the pillows as he pushed further inside of you. The ring connected to the silver chain that circled around his neck rested delicately on your chest as he thrusted.

“How’re you doing, sweetheart?” He brushed hair away from your forehead.

“Good, so good, Poe.” You said breathlessly, smiling up at him.

He smiled back at you, kissing you again, grabbing your arms that were wrapped around his neck. He intertwined his hands with yours, resting them on the either side of your head as he kissed your neck.

“Faster, Poe, please.”

He obeyed your request, picking up the pace. He let out a small groan, burying his head in your neck. You squeezed his hands tighter with a high pitched whimper. He made you feel so full, you were sure you never wanted him to leave from inside of you.

One particular thrust brushed right over your sensitive spot, causing you to arch your back. Poe released his hands from yours, his arms snaking under your back and pulling you tighter to him.

“Is that it, sweetheart? That the spot?” He asked as he hit it again.

“Fuck, yes, Poe, right there,” You whined.

He managed to continue hitting the spot inside you that made you feel so fucking good. You felt your walls begin to clench around him and you gripped his back, fingernails digging slightly into his tan skin.

“You're so warm, Y/N. I love you,” He whispered in your ear.

You let out a loud moan, throwing your head back and squeezing your eyes shut as he reached a hand down to rub tight circles against your clit.

“P-Poe, please,” It was barely audible.

“Almost there, baby. Can you hang on for a few more seconds?” He said breathlessly into your neck.

“Fuck, yes.” You grinded your hips against his as you both reached your high. You had had sex before, but none of it ever felt like this. You felt cared for, loved by, and connected emotionally to Poe. He made you feel wonderful, in more ways than one.

“Shit,” Poe whispered, “Can you cum for me?”

You nodded quickly as you completely clenched around his length. Squeezing him tightly against your chest, you wrapped your legs around his waist to push him all the way inside of you.

“Poe..” You moaned as you released.

“Y/N,” He followed immediately after you.

You gasped for breath as Poe thrusted lazily to ride you both out of your orgasms. Your hands tangled in his now damp hair as he collapsed fully on top of you. His hands snaked back around your waist as he rested his head on your chest.

You both lied there for a moment in comfortable silence catching your breath before Poe looked up at you.

“How was that? Are you okay?”

You smiled, hands continuing to play with his curls, “I am perfect.”

He smiled widely, leaning up to kiss you with such passion. He pulled away to rest his forehead atop yours.

“I love you,” He said gently.

“I love you too,” You kissed him again.

He pulled out of you, collapsing on the bed next to you. You frowned at the loss of contact.

He looked over at you and pulled you to him. You rested your head on his chest, your fingertips gently traced over the small initials tattooed above his heart, which by the way, was beating a million times a minute.

“Thank you,” You whispered, eyes focused on your fingertips.

He smiled, “You don’t have to thank me for anything. You deserve everything and more.”

Your eyes stung as you felt them begin to water with tears. You had never felt so loved before in your life. You had only known Poe less than a year, but it was like you had known him forever.

“Baby? You’re crying.” Poe squeezed your shoulder as he felt a teardrop hit his chest.

You looked up at him as another tear escaped your eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He sat up a bit, pulling you closer.

“Nothing. I’m just overwhelmed with happiness,” You smiled softly through your tears, “No one has every made me feel so loved before.”

He gave you a soft grin, leaning down to kiss you again before pulling away and wiping your tears with his thumb.

“I love you, Y/N, so much. And I plan to prove it to you and show you your worth for as long as you’ll let me.”

You chuckled softly, wiping your tears and putting your head back on his chest, “You’re such a sap.”

“It’s just the truth!” He laughed.

“I know. I just...have never really felt this way before. I didn’t think I would be able to after...everything.” You sighed.

He traced tiny shapes on your back as you continued, “You’ve shown me hope and love. I cannot thank you enough, Poe. Because of you I think I’ll fully be able to heal completely. I trust you more than anyone. I know we only met nine months ago, butI feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”

He was silent, all he gave you was a smile and a kiss to the crown of your head. You snuggled closer to him, closing your eyes and sighing happily.

“I think I’ll stay the night tonight,” You giggled as you yawned.

He smiled, “Sounds good to me.”

It didn’t take you long to drift off, but Poe laid still, stroking your back and staring up at the ceiling.

You had given yourself to him, something you were so scared of doing in fear that you would end up hurt and betrayed. He had known your past, your trauma, your secrets. You had told him everything.

But he hadn’t told you everything.

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