#Can you believe I wanted to post this before I knew about the Tumblrs BOOPING FEATURE

[elbdot]

This is HER blog now

#boop #april fools #cat #artists on tumblr #Can you believe I wanted to post this before I knew about the Tumblrs BOOPING FEATURE #THE GIFT OF PROPHECY

[blueberrypossum]

A Date Down Under (GN Reader x Leo)

OH MY GOSH IT’S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I’VE POSTED!!

If you guys are wondering where I’ve been I write more on A03 with two original fanfics in the making! But, my tumblr account deserves some love too! This fanfic has been siting in my file for a long while and I originally wanted to post it when I was deep in the ROTTMNT fandom (still love it and miss it man). So, I decided to take out my oc in it and make it a reader fanfic so everyone can enjoy!  @bootyyy-shaker9000 ​ I know how much you love Leo so have some of the wonderful boy in blue!!

When Leo asked you if you wanted to celebrate your Friend Anniversary in the Lost City, you couldn’t refuse. 

 The feelings for the turtle though were getting tougher and tougher to maintain. Leo was always the flirt, and you tried to not let him play with your heartstrings, but now a blush would creep around your face whenever he would fire a one-liner or when he would push the physical contact to the extreme. 

You weren't used to so much affection, nor letting the addiction of being touched take over you like a drug. 

But you have seen the way Leo fake flirts with others, and just believed that he was just doing the same thing to you, because you were just friends, right? 

You were brushing your comb through your hair when your phone started to vibrate on your desk. You brought it up to your ear as you got comfortable in your seat.

“Hello?”

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

There were a few knocks on your bedroom window.

“Me.”

You giggled and walked over to the window and pulled back the blinds to see the one and only Leonardo Hamato, a sly grin on his face as he hung up on the phone. You placed your phone into your pocket and unlocked the window to reveal yourself to him. 

The blue bandana turtle looked a little taken aback as he took in the sight of his best friend. With the season turning colder, you wore something that suited the chilly wind yet sunny season, the cloth clinging to you gently. What caught him off guard the most was the dazzling smile you presented to him, the pure excitement of seeing him causing his bandana to feel tight around his head. 

Leo almost lost his balance as he hopped into your room, sweat growing on him as he tried to find anything else to look at other than you.

“Hey, how's your fever?” He asked, his voice drowned with no confidence, his heart still pounding as he finally glanced over. 

You were picking up your bag and you frowned at the question.

“Hum? What fever?” 

“Oh, yeah, you just look hot to me,” he replied, pressing a confident smile on his lips as he hoped that you didn’t catch him almost slipping up. 

Your cheeks went pink and you playfully slapped his arm.

“Oh hush up and let’s go, we’re burning daylight.”

“That’s not the only thing that’s burning.”

“Oh my gosh, get going, Red Kamon.”

The tall turtle chuckled and pulled out his sword, swiping it around the room until a portal was created. Leo moved to the side and bowed his head towards you. 

“After you,” he purred and you rolled your eyes at him and took a step into the portal and was led right at the center of the Hidden City. The colorful and mysterious city was weird to say the least, nothing but weird creations and magic lingered in the air as yokai walked past you. Leo stepped through the portal and was at your side as you both walked over to the city map. 

Leo used your shoulder as a rest while you gazed over at the map.

“Where do you want to go, shorty?” He asked as your eyes scanned the different areas and pointed towards the Witch Town.

Your mind seemed clouded from the close contact and you pointed to the spa.

“What about here? Sounds interesting.”

“Can’t do. My idiot and less attractive twin got us turtles banned there,” Leo commented and soon his arm snaked around your neck and was completely over your shoulders, bringing you close enough that you could feel his breath over your cheek. 

“What about here?”

“Nope. They banned me there.”

“How did you get banned from a spa?”

“My dashing good looks were just too much for them.”

You let out a gust of air and knew the real reason, Donnie told you the whole funny scenario of Leo needing hair to get into the spa, totally backfired and threw him in jail. 

“What places are you not banned from, blue?” You asked, turning over to him with your arms crossed. 

He gave you his signature smile and leaned down till you were face to face, his beak just a few inches from your nose. 

“Here, just those two places. Your heart? Never.”

“Then what about the Pirate Bazaar?” You mumbled, your heart almost leaping out of your chest as Leo’s eyes widened with excitement.

“Ohhh, I’ve been there! But only for a little bit, let’s go!” He squealed and took your hand and led you through the crowd of animals and other subjects of yokai. His three-fingered hand was cold against your warm one, and you knew Leo and his brothers like closeness to you and April since you were the only warm-blooded creatures; Splinter was too but hugs were hard to get from him. Still, the hand holding made others look over and gush at you two, as if you were a couple. 

If only.

He didn’t let go as he took you into lesser crowds, bringing you closer till your arms were touching. You then realized he wasn’t wearing an outfit, but then remembered most of the yokai’s were clothesless as well. His muscles bounced as he walked and you had to do everything to not wrap your fingers around the growing muscle. 

STOP STOP STOP THINKING LIKE THIS! HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT!

His thumb started to brush against yours as he turned to you and you swore you saw a red dash against his cheeks, and it wasn’t his stripes.

“You’ve been friends with me for a whole year! Please, do tell how great it must’ve been to be called my best friend,” he said slyly, wiggling his non-existent eyebrows, causing you to laugh. The joyous melody made Leo weak in the knees.

“You mean, me always having to save your shell from dangerous bad guys, having to endure all your jokes, and then the constant-CONSTANT- marathons of Jipiter Jim and Lou Jitsu to the point all I could do was speak quotes from the movies.”

“Oh yeah, may I remind you that you would text me excited about every movie date? Didn’t someone make their signature hot chocolate just for me when I showed this specific someone their now favorite movie? Ring any bells?” He replied back.

“Pffts, you know what? Your one-liners stink.”

The sword yielding turtle let out a gasp and grasped where his heart would be over his plaston as if he had been shot as he looked down at you. 

“My one-liners stink like Raph’s victory stink!”

You laughed and took back his hand and Leo felt his heart flew as your warm hand was gripping onto his cold one. You took the lead and finally made it to the entrance of the pirate grounds. There were booths of stuff that were related to the pirate theme of the area and some were just random selections of things to sell. The smell of seafood and other fried foods drifted into your nose and you led Leo to the entrance. 

After getting Lost City Cash at a money machine, you both took a selfie at the front entrance, Leo bringing you close and him having to lean down due to your height.  

There was a goblin looking woman in the booth at the entrance and the woman took your money and gave each of you a bracelet to get on rides and such. 

“For an extra 20 dollars, you can have a custom pirate outfit that you can switch on and off with ease,” she explained and you and Leo shared the same look, giving the worker a simple nod. She pointed to where single bathrooms were after she got the money.

“Last one there is a rotten turtle egg!”You challenged out as you raced over to the bathroom stalls, the mutant turtle schoffing and charging after you.

With a little bit of magic, you were able to think up your very own pirate outfit with a second band around your wrist so that you could switch it off and on with ease. Leo picked the same outfit he had when he first came to the pirate utopia with Hueso, but didn’t pick an eyepatch this time since he didn’t want to trip in front of you. 

You quickly raced out of the changing room after saying thank you to the worker who helped you and looked around, your eyes trying to find the mutant turtle in the crowd. You spotted the long strands of his bandana and felt yourself shudder at how good he looked in a pirate outfit, how the white shirt clung to him and how he had his sword hung against his side instead of over his back. You swallowed the saliva that was swimming in your mouth and quickly dashed over to him, clearing your throat before you spoke in the worst pirate accent. 

“My, my, isn’t ye the best booty I’ve ever seen in these vast oceans!”

The red slider turtle quickly turned around but you moved out in front of him.

“Aye, wanna shiver me timbers?” You laughed, throwing another one-liner at him and he turned, his eyes going wide as he almost told you that if you were a pirate, you would be the most beautiful treasure that no man or woman could handle or capture. If you were a pirate he could definitely walk the plank. 

“Those jokes are so lame, that they need a peg leg,” he replied, almost hating himself fully for using one of Huesos jokes instead of his own. But you flashed him a smile anyway and motioned him to follow as you made your way through the crowd. 

The teenage turtle felt his heart leap after you and gave chase as you made it to the center of the pirate theme park. 

Once in the middle, you pulled out the map the woman at the booth gave you and started to read over the activities that you could do. 

Leo leaned down close, still a little out of breath, but his confidence had awoken him as he said: “Ya certainly put a shiver in my timber!” he said in a deep pirate accent. You booped his beak away from your face and he blew a raspberry on the index finger.

“So, there is a treasure adventure we can go on, a booth section of stuff to buy, a pirate show of a reenactment of pirate history-Oh! They have timed dances throughout the area! And you can join in!” 

“Are you going to join in?”

“Maybe. I could finally dance with someone who doesn’t only do fortnite dances and dabs.”

“Hey, my moves are almost like a work of a pirate ship.”

“Old and needs remodeling?”

“What?! No! Unique and cool.”

You rolled your eyes and wrapped your arm around Leo’s and led him to the show since it was the closest. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You stood on the pier as ships and flying creatures dashed by, the glowing lights of the underworld turning into a creamy orange to signify that the day was coming to an end. You leaned your arms over the railing as you scrolled through the photos that had been taken throughout the day. You couldn’t help but smile at seeing your goofy pictures and would scroll past the ones you took specifically of Leo without him knowing. 

Speaking of the turtle, he leaned in close to your shoulder as he noticed that your attention was not on him.

“Whatcha lookin at?” He asked, his head slowly getting closer. You felt your body grow warm and quickly turned your phone. 

“Bruh,” you giggled and he gave a quiet chuckle and tried to snatch the phone. 

“If you’re looking at something, then as your best friend I have a right to see.”

“Fine, hang on.”

You quickly saved the single photos of him into a secret file and moved the phone between them, his head still on your shoulder as he scrolled through the photos, both of you laughing at the one where you fought the pirates and failed. 

“What about you? I know you took photos of today for your social,” you commented as you placed your phone into your bag. 

Leo took out his phone and hid it out of sight since his home screen was a picture of them together at an abandoned skatepark and he had you in a piggyback ride and he just had to capture the moment. He handed his phone without thinking and started to go through your bag due to boredom.

You scrolled through the photos until you stopped at a specific one. You didn’t remember him telling you to pose for this photo; it was when you had stopped to eat dinner and you happened to watch one of the kids getting a fake pirate hook from a vendor. Your head was supported by your hand as a breeze caused your hair to ripple around your face in an alluring photo. A blush rushes to your face as if you had been hit and soon you started to scroll faster and found more photos of just you; of you waiting in line, in your pirate outfit, several were taken of you during the pirate treasure hunting, when you grabbed a candle from one of the booths in excitement, he even got a cliche photo of you holding his hand while you led him through the crowd. 

You felt your heart stop in your ribcage and looked over at the ninja turtle, who was still looking through your bag as if he was hunting for treasure. You didn’t want to snoop, but you couldn’t help but exit out of his camera roll and looked through his folders on the right side; there was a folder for comic books, shopping, epic moments, even a puns list, then found it at the bottom. It was labeled with a first letter of your name and a heart, and with twitching fingers, you opened it. It wasn’t many photos but enough to where you almost dropped his phone into the water below. There were pictures of you whenever you both hung out, and some he probably got from your social. 

Holy Hot Soup, he liked you.  

“Okay, now you really look like you have a fever,” Leo commented as he reached for his phone, causing you to swallow and quickly turned off the device and handed it back to him.

“But don’t worry, Doctor Neon Leon will help you get all better,” he said in a baby voice and wrapped his arm around you and brought you close. 

“Maybe you need some Vitamin ME,” he whispered and you laughed at yet another ridiculous one-liner made by him. He grinned at the sight of you laughing and rested himself against your side, taking in your scent and warmth. 

“Maybe I do, where do I get my prescription Aka Kamon?” You asked slyly, a shit eating grin on your face as Leo blushed. Whenever you could, you would fire back a one-liner and was overjoyed to see him be the one to get flustered and a stuttering mess. 

“ Oh, um, well,” he stuttered and mentally kicked himself as he couldn’t think of something to say back and then a question he always wanted an answer to.

“Are you ever going to tell me what those words mean?” He asked. 

“Are you ever going to open a book and find out for yourself.”

“Ha! Jokes on you, I don’t know how to read. And also, there are phones now, boomers.”

“Then look it up.”

“JuSt GiVe Me A hInT.”

You released a sigh and gave him a look while he returned to you his huge puppy dog eyes look and placed his hands together as his bottom lip wobbled as if he was trying to get out of trouble. 

“Finnnne, but only because it’s our best friend’s day.”

You poked the red stripe against his face and then pointed upward, a smirk growing on your face as he gave a confused one.

“WHAT KIND OF HINT IS THAT??”

“A pretty good one in my opinion.”

The red slider turtle let out a large groan as he crossed his arms, his face growing tight as he tried to think of what the hint meant. 

“Are you just calling me stripes but in Japanese?” He said with a groan. 

“Leo you insult me, it would be kind of stupid to call you stripes in both English and Japanese.”

He mimicked your talking right as you finished and he received an eye roll as he continued on thinking.

 So, it wasn’t the stripes, maybe the color? Or the shape?

“Man, this is hurting my brain, this best friend day sucks.” He said as he stuck his tongue out at you.

“Okay, okay. The two words are a color and a shape. Is that better?”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

You continued to watch as Leo tried to put the pieces together and you wished you could get this on video, but it would be too obvious, so instead you painted it into your mind. 

“So, the color is totally red, but the shape I’m lost at. Why did you point at the sky? Is that a clue? Why did you make this so difficult?”

“Because I’m a difficult person.”

“I do like a challenge.”

“One more hint, it’s the shape of something in the sky.”

Leo looked up at the fake Lost City sky and squinted as the fake sun started to set and the moon would start to rise. 

“Red Moon?”

“Close. It’s Red Crest.”

The blue bandana turtle searched the horizon for an answer for why you called him that as you looked away due to embarrassment. 

“Why?” He simply asked as he looked over; he could always tell when you were nervous, your eyes would always dart around and your left foot would start to shake. You rose to a tallen stance though and looked over at his hands.

“I just find your marks...alluring. In Japanese culture, the red moon is respected due to its power. I just thought you deserved to have a nickname that represented you.”

Leo felt his face go completely red that it could put Raph’s mask to so much shame that it would go bland. All this time he thought you were just calling him something insulting in Japanese, but it was a nickname that you made up for him. Not like Raph’s, Donnie’s, Mikey’s or April’s, it was one you made up for him and only him. 

“Stop looking at me before I throw you off this dock so I can live the rest of my life without this embarrassment,” you laughed nervously as your fingers combed through your hair and let out a shaky breath. 

Leo started to get his little shakes as he let out a confused laugh. 

“All this time I thought you were calling me a stupid turtle or somethin in Japanese, whoa oh boy was I wrong.”

You both looked away from each other and the atmosphere became heavy. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, I still don’t know, you thought, but then you felt his finger poke your elbow and looked over at him, and the soft expression on his face almost made you melt.

“But how can I stop looking at you?”

Your breathing immediately hitched.

“Are you blushing? It’s a good feeling to know that I do it.”

You could only cover your face as you leaned against the railing on your elbows and looked between your fingers at him. You hated being so flustered up, but with Leo dripping with confidence, it made you want to curl into a muttering mess. 

Leo watched you with amusement and went to touch you, but then fell back. He remembered how he started the physical touch between you two, holding your hand, always leaning on you, every movie night you would be his cushion. But you two couldn’t kiss, couldn’t cudde too close, he couldn’t tell you he loved you more than just a best friend.  

 He hated how the day went by so fast and now he wanted to do what he has wanted to do for months. But he couldn’t work up the courage, he had a ton of one-liners to ask you out, to ask if you returned the feelings, even though he was mutant turtle that lived in the sewer and fought enemies that could destroy the whole world and wholly Ōdachi he can’t ask you to be a part of that life. 

But, the way you would smile at him and how you always gave him credit for the growth into someone you wanted to be. How you saw something in him that he didn’t even see, and he wanted to keep being whatever you saw. 

He just wanted you.

So, he worked up the courage, tried to make the sweat stop rolling down his body, and looked at person he had fallen for

“Y/N.” 

You tensed up, you had never heard Leo sound so serious in his life. 

“Yeah?” 

“With this being.....I mean if I’m wrong. Would you consider this a date-date?” He spilled out, and he wanted to climb into his shell like Mikey and never come out. He let out a gust of air and didn’t look over at you, his fingers messing within each other. It was silent between you, the city life buzzing around them as yokai’s came and went. You wanted to scream out in joy and say yes a hundred times, but you also had to be careful, along with if Leo was being a bubbly mess, you wanted to take advantage of it as long as you could. 

Spotting a red and blue flower with a bright yellow center growing on the side of the deck, you wrapped your fingers around it and pulled it from its roots. To Leo’s surprise, you pushed your way under his arm until it was back over your shoulders. The blush on his face was noticeable and with being against his chest you noticed his uneven breaths. 

“I do. And I would like more of them, if you want to.” You answered and handed him the flower. He shakenly took the flower in his hand and his confidence came crashing back to him, knowing that the feeling was mutual. As quickly as you gave him the flower he leaned over and placed the flower over your ear. Your eyes widened with surprise and quickly averted them away, a nervous but sweet chuckle escaping your lips. But the Red-eared slider never averted his gaze away from you. 

“I would like that too,” he answered back. 

You both stood there for a while, your head curled into Leo’s chest as his own head rested on yours. You were used to being close, but this was different, this filled you up with knowing and it made the physical connection much more warmer and scarier. Little lights started to flicker around as the city started to get dark, even with no sun or moon. Leo brought you closer and buried his face into your hair, a long sigh escaping his lips in content, his mind slowing down for once and just taking in this moment.

 But the moment went quicker than expected as a low yawn escaped your mouth and the red slider turtle remembered that it was getting late. 

“Alright, sleepy head, I think it’s time to raise anchor and set sail for home,” he joked as he lifted himself off of you and then held out his hand. With a roll of your eyes, you gladly took it and let him lead you back to the entrance of the Pirate Bazaar. He could just use his sword, but he wanted to juice out every moment with you.

The hand hold was different in some way, you gripped his hand tighter and when he came to a stop you would use your other hand to lightly touch his biccup before continuing on. 

You gave the booth teller their costume bracelets back and walked a few feet ahead before Leo pulled out his sword and created a portal. 

He once again bowed his head as he moved to the side. 

“After you.”

Through tired eyes she gave him a smirk as she was halfway through the portal. 

“Thank you.” 

He followed you through the portal and took the step onto your apartment’s fire escape, the flashing lights of New York City spilling over your side as you opened your bedroom window;  throwing your bag inside before turning to Leo. You both turned to each other and then quickly averted eye-contact with each other. 

“I had a lot of fun today, Leo. Thanks for being a good fri-” you stopped yourself since you didn’t know if you two were still just friends, or more.

He let out a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Yeah, chief, it was,” Leo said  and then let out a groan at the terrible execution.

 You knew that you had to make the first move now or else you both would accidentally place yourselves into the “friend zone”.

 “Leo, can you bend down a little bit?”

“Why? Tired of being the only short one?”

“You can say that.”

He bent down till he was on your level, a smug smile on his lips. You let out your form of a chuckle as you curved your fingers under his chin. The teenage turtle instantly felt weak in the knees and thought that his legs would give out from under him and became a stuttering mess as you both made eye-contact. 

“Um, haha, is it hot or did you know that, uhh,” he mumbled as you tilted his head to the side and placed a small kiss against his red stripe, instantly making his whole body, for once in his life, burning. 

Your lips were soft against his skin and he stood there as you leaned away and climbed back into your room. 

“Goodnight, Leo,”you mumbled, your hands shaking against the window. 

“N-night.”

You closed the window and walked away while Leo stood there, his mind racing a hundred miles an hour. He got a kiss from you, from you. He never felt so much adrenaline rush through his body and all he wanted to do was go back in time so he could’ve moved his lips over. 

He took a step towards the window and then took that step back. What should he do? What could he do? Were you both dating now? Or were you two at the very edge of the line of a relationship?

He wanted to call his brothers or April for advice, especially since she would slap some sense into him. His shakes were coming back.

He let out a grunt and rubbed his eyes as he tried to decide what to do. He looked back at the window and saw that you had turned on your lights. He walked up to the window and knocked.

You had just gotten out of the bathroom when you heard the light tap against your window and your heart started to race faster than it already was. You were already shaken up by having enough courage to kiss him but if that was him then what if he didn’t want the kiss?

The knock came again and you took a few deep breaths before you moved the curtain aside and there he was, his face all flustered up as he gave a small wave as she opened the window. 

“Yes?” You questioned as you leaned your hands over the window seal. You hoped that the silky night of the sky hid your flustered face.

“I honestly didn’t think this far ahead,” he spilled out as he let out a nervous laugh as he leaned against the window. 

You looked up at him and Leo blinked several times in wonderment at the startled expression that crossed your face. Leo took a deep breath and gave you his signature shit-eating grin.

“Knock knock.”

“Wow, you’re doing jokes in the same place now are ya?”

“Just do the joke.”

You giggled and fluttered your eyes mockingly at him.

“Can I who?”

“Who’s there?

“Can I?”

“Can I...Can I kiss you?”

Even though it was a terrible joke, you felt like you could throw up all of your guts for how fast your heart rate was. Kissing him on the cheek was a challenge but at least you didn’t have to worry about his lips against yours. Do turtles have lips? Or beaks?

The word yes slipped out before you had a second thought. 

Before you knew it, Leo’s hands were slipping into your own, the tip of your fingers shaking but Leo reinsured you with a stroke of his thumb  You looked up at him and was taken aback at how handsome he was, how his stripes glowed in the moonlight and his blue bandana flew behind him as he leaned down. 

Oh you were glad he didn’t have his lips puckered or drool hanging out of his mouth like in the cartoons. 

Swallowing any other signs of panic that were trying to build in your body as you leaned in. 

The city of New York continued on around you both as the kiss ended; it was soft and sweet, not a full one, but it left both of you speechless. You felt as if your stomach was falling apart and Leo thought he could slip off the stairway. He was still holding your hands before you both departed, but with your free hands, you grabbed his face and brought him in once again. The red slider turtle’s eyes went wide as moons as this kiss much more, more than he could ever dream of. 

He wrapped his arms around your waist and slightly lifted you up, burying his face into yours under the moonlight. He tangled himself around you as your hands wrapped around his neck and Leo felt his stomach flip at the actions. Your shirt was warm against his chest and he tried to focus in on that instead of the worry of messing this up. He leaned more down as his hand slipped into the back of your neck. Due to the lack of experience, the kiss was sloppy and messy and anxiety swam between the connection between the two of you. 

But it was a tender memory of a kiss between the two of you, to remember as your first. 

You both finally separated, your chest heaving as you tried to get your feelings under control. His arms were still wrapped around you and your hands had slipped down onto his plaston, the hard material rising and falling under your fingers. Leo felt himself lean back, the shock setting in that he just had his first kiss and it was that deep and romantic and that….

The teen turtle felt his shell bump against the railing and you quickly latched onto him to stop him from falling, a horse laugh coming out of your mouth. 

“Guess you can say that you’re falling for me?” You asked, Leo knew now that he had to have a fever for how hot his face felt. He let out a few breathless laughs as he tried to calm himself down, longing and fear still lingering in his heart. 

All he could do was pull you into a hug and whisper out, “I just want to stay here and kiss and hold you and Y/N I can't feel my heart.”

He buried himself into your neck as he once again slightly picked you up, hoping that your warm body would calm him down, but the organ in his chest raced on as you hugged him back, your arms barely going around his shell. 

“Leo, will you be my boyfriend?”

My boyfriend. My boyfriend. My boyfriend. My boyfriend.

The words rang in his head like chimes as he slightly pulled away to look at her, the harsh blush on her face giving him an ego boost as he grinned at her. 

“Being called a boyfriend, eh? Neon Leon already has so many cool names, but boyfriend is probably the best name to be called, especially if it’s only you saying it.”

“Probably? I guess I should just give the boyfriend title to someone else, then.”

“What?! No, no, no. I already called it, I’m your boyfriend capiche? Now come here.” He pulled you into a tight hug and gave you a little spin, a laugh escaping your throat as you held on.

“Leo! We can fall, and my back cannot handle cement like yours!” 

#ROTTMNT #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt x leo #rottmnt leo #ROTTMNTXREADER #rottmntleo #rottmnt reader x leo #rottmnt leo x reader #tmnt #rise of the tmnt #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

[jaefmin]

Talent hunt - J.JK

DKSDKLSD HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE <33

➳ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Female reader

➳ Genre: pure crack✨friends to lovers au, lil bit of fluff in the end, friend!jk, crack!jk, the oc's kinda talentless TUMBLR ADDICT OC FOR Y'ALL!

➳ Summary: Jungkook's filled with talents, just like your snack bowl. He can't believe it, that you do nothing except writing your articles. He wants to find it all in you, because he knows that you've got the energy. Read on to find out what happens between both these characters!!

➳ M.list

“I mean, you would have some specialty at least.” He pleaded, again. “I told you already, Jungkook, I don’t do anything.” You replied for the ninth time, sparks of hope left bursting inside you that he would stop. “It can’t be that way. Every person is special in some or the other way, I know you’ve got something.” Those sparks inside seemed to find their way down pretty quick. You found it pretty annoying, especially when he had to do this between your work. You tried to come up with some reply for him to stop. Once you’d tell him about it, he’d think over it and stop annoying you. After thinking for a while with Jungkook sitting in front of you with puppy eyes, you came up with one.

“Yes!! I have a specialty!!” You bursted out, and Jungkook’s face lit up with a bright smile. “Ha!! I knew it!! Told ya!!” His face lit up, excitement filled inside to know what it was. “There’s this site called tumblr, and it’s GOLD. I have a lot of mutuals over there and they’re the reason I’m alive right now. I’m pretty famous there.” Your chest widened at the amount of notes you had on your posts. Jungkook's expression seemed to change every word of your answer, before he came up with another question. “N-no, Social media-? I didn't mean that.. Any real talent? More of like, uhh sports? Drawing? I bet you’re good at drawing!! You’re that typical type with glasses and you’d look pretty good with a brush.” You doubted yourself earlier on calling Jungkook a crackhead, but it seems like you have to doubt yourself upon doubting Jungkook being a crackhead or not now. ‘It isn’t what it seems like, kook. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” Jungkook, being back to the moody gen-z he is, rolled his eyes at your comment. “Come on girl!! Don’t be a mom! I know you’ve got this!” He hits you playfully while speaking, at you could have sworn, if he had just applied 🤏🏻 much more force, you would have gone flying ten feet away. “A MOM?!!? EXCUSE ME!?!?” Your tone didn't seem to satisfy him, “Alright, calm down smelly. Since, you’re think good at nothing, we’ll go through a list of things that I’m good at or I know, and then I’m pretty sure we’ll find a good quality from them that you have.” You knew the article you were writing wasn’t going to get anywhere. “One condition.” The man in front of you rolled his eyes once again, “Go on, mom.” You shot a death glare at him and that was all it took; his hands were up in the air, peace written all over his face. “You let me complete my work after we finish this.” Jungkook seemed surprised, “That’s all?” He pauses, “Duh, I’m doing this for you to feel good. I can stop right now if you say.” Being a person who wasn’t contended hurting others feelings, you replied “Alright then, let’s do it.”

He sat on the bed, and you followed him upon it. “Okay, so first question, how fast can you run?” He asks with curiosity. “Hmph, bold of you to think I even get up from my seat.” His eyebrows curl up, and you know that he’s saying something in his head about you, like you’re hindered. “So if you’re saying you don’t get up from your seat, do you only write articles all day?” He questions, “I just told you, you forgetful egg, I’m also on tumblr! And that, I’m telling you, it takes up more than half of my day.” You reminded him, and whenever the thought of tumblr came into your mind, you internally smiled at yourself. ”Jungkook seemed to be in deep thought, and again came up with a question. “Y/N! Yes! You write articles! That’s your speciality!! Your writing’s good!!” Your eyebrows shot up along with Jungkook’s and both of your eyes widened, you’ve come up with something! But the reason you were happy is that this long conversation finished, and you could finally get back to finishing your article. “Yes Jungkook!! That’s the good quality that I have!! So it’s done, we’re finished, and now I’m getting back to my work.” You got up from the bed, and were about to get back to your seat, when Jungkook caught your wrist.

“That’s only one quality Y/n!! I have a lot more things that I’m good at!! It can’t be only one!” You balled your hand into a fist, annoyance filling you up. You tried to calm yourself down instead of exploding right at Jungkook because he’s your friend and you do care about a person’s feelings. You turned, “I know! But I’m so sorry, koo!! I really have a lot of work right now, so mind if we keep this convo for later?” You asked, hoping this would lead to a finished article at the end. You knew this wasn’t getting anywhere, Jungkook would definitely want to continue. “But Y/n,” He placed both your hands in his, “You know you’ve been feeling unmotivated lately, right?” His voice deepened. “It is really important! We need to do this! I understand that your article’s important too, but your mental health should be given more importance. It’s alright if you lose your job, but health-” It’s funny how he makes you think about his duality in every conversation. Sure of the fact that even begging and falling to his feet won’t help in this situation, you intruded his speech. “I understand.” You pressed his hand, “Let’s dive into it!” You were pretty good at fake-smiling and the tone in your voice seemed quite believable, the sarcasm hidden behind. You took your seat on the bed in front of Jungkook. “That’s the Y/N I wanna see!!” You smiled at his innocence, and continued the conversation.

“So, what about any sport that you’re interested in? Maybe something like badminton, football, volleyball, or swimming?” Jungkook’s next question popped up, and it reminded you of the old days. “The last time I swam was when I was ten, because my elder brother accidentally pushed me into the water, and I almost drowned, and like everyone’s parents, even mines were triggered and they pushed me to learn swimming.” Another sarcastic reply made its way through your lips, Jungkook again bewildered by how unattached you are. “And well basketball, I used to like it, but then I almost broke my nose in a match, never found the courage to get back on the ground again. Jungkook was quick to reply, “That’s not called getting triggered, Y/N. They did it because that's gonna help you in some or the other way in future.” Your face went blank at his comment, “Who's being the mom now?” “N-No, I’m not-” Jungkook went red stuttering at every word. "Next thing we’re looking at is… reading! Do you like reading?” He immediately planned to change the topic, your face retaining the blank expression that’s always put on it. Did he just forget that you write articles? Still, boys don’t get these kinds of death glares or eye contacts girls make, so Jungkook stays clueless. His eyebrows furrow up, thoughts muddled up in his mind. After deep thinking for a while, Jungkook strikes. Proudness takes over you, you got yourself a friend who understands girls.

“Nevermind!! We’ll move on?” Your mouth flung open at his reply, a feeling of your hopes shooting to the sky but then immediately bursting out like a firework, sparks falling to the ground. Can someone really expect something from Jeon Jungkook? “I’ve run out of ideas Y/n..” He pouts sadly, and that’s the cue to your happiness. “Okay that’s great! Now I’m getting back to writing my article!” History repeats itself; you get up from the bed to be pulled back down again. Not being someone who can keep their feelings suppressed for a long time, you aim to bawl right at Jungkook, but before anything comes out of your mouth, he interrupts. “Just one more thing Y/n.” The extra amount of innocence spread on Jungkook’s face is something that anyone would give into, and personally you did find him attractive. The way he’s dressed looking all cuddly, you would give into his arms right this second if he asked to. Yes, you did dream about him every night before going to sleep, how fun it would be to have someone like him taking care of you. His duality is out of the question; there’s no one better than him. If it were for him, you’d leave the whole world and give into Jungkook’s arms, but the strings of life keep pulling you back towards them.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize how the time passed by, before you heard a couple snaps in front of your face. “Earth to Y/N???” Jungkook waved his hand in front of you a couple times, bringing you back to reality. Work can be postponed for this angel, just the way you’re punctual. You sat back down and placed your hands above Jungkook’s. He cleared his throat, straightened his back, and began. “Look, people like you, I mean, the ones interested in social media, glasses, look cuddly and cute like penguins,” Jungkook was good, but in some cases you couldn’t guarantee what he would come up with. “I bet you’ve had a boyfriend.” His statement caught you by surprise, your heart racing inside. You didn’t have the courage to reply to him, you are the least interested in opening up. It wasn’t a moment before Jungkook shot back at you, “I’ll tell you what type suits you.” Jungkook’s pretty much of a crackhead, but something urged you not to stop him. You wanted to know which perspective Jungkook looks at you with.

“I think your boyfriend would’ve loved your kisses. I have a feeling you’re a really good kisser, and you would often want cuddles from him. And yes,” He laughs, “You would be a wholesome of cute actions, and there’d be no one else who loved it more than him.” He booped your nose and finished, and not gonna lie, you could drool on him right now. His face was gleaming with compassion, eyes so deep you could drown in them. His lips curved into a tiny smile, the bunny teeth making their appearance. All you wanted to ever do was stay glued to him and keep on listening to those beautiful words that came out of his mouth. His eyes met yours and he leaned you in, a soft expression settling on his face as a stroke of sunlight passed through it. Jungkook continued asking further, “Can I kiss you?” His fingers gently stroked on your cheekbones and his eyes met yours. Faces not centimetres apart, both of your breaths tangled. You locked his lips with yours and gripped onto Jungkook’s neck, your sweet action making him give in. This is what you wanted, and this is what he wanted. You both stayed the same way for a while before separating.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

gon rb and then add the taglist beuase dumblr's mean </3

#kpop fics #jungkook #borthday special

[nonbinary-octopus]

Virgil The Wee Vampire Chapter 9:  Not Remotely Nuclear

Summary: The bois eat dinner and talk about adoption

Content/Trigger warnings: I think we’re good on this one.

Wordcount: 1.4K

Chapter 1: The Hungry Little Vampire

Masterpost

More stories

~~~~~

Logan was working that day and didn’t get home until around dinner time (The fact that they had arranged dinner time to be shortly after Logan got home on the average day was irrelevant), so Patton and Roman explained Roman’s suggestion over spaghetti.

As Roman had predicted, Logan had a theory as to why Virgil had taken to Patton so well. It was actually fairly similar to what Roman had said earlier that day, with Patton being there when Virgil most needed someone and filling the hole in Virgil’s heart. But, Logan being Logan, his theory included several citations to studies he had read sometime in the past and one he’d read over his lunch break.

“So…” Patton asked hopefully, “can we adopt him?”

Logan adjusted his tie. “From what I’ve gathered, vampires —as with vampire bats and humans— seem to be very social creatures,” he said. “It would almost certainly be detrimental to Virgil’s health if he were to go entirely without interaction. Ideally, he ought to be among his own kind—” Patton’s face fell. “—but as it appears Virgil is the only vampire in the area, that would prove difficult. It may be possible to assist him in finding another colony of vampires. However, not only do we not know where to look, or whether another colony would even be willing to take him in, but the act of moving away from everything that’s familiar would likely negatively affect his psyche.”

“So… what should we do?” Patton asked, eyes wide and pleading.

“Since we cannot provide the best scenario solution, we ought to try for the best we can do,” Logan said. He took another bite of spaghetti. “This is very good, by the way. Did you use a new recipe?”

Patton’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment. “Oh, the spaghetti? Yeah, I put an eggplant in the sauce,” he said. “But what about Virgil?”

Logan took a drink. “The way things stand now,” he said, “our best course of action appears to be to go with your plan and offer Virgil a home and companionship.” Patton lit up, and Logan continued. “Of course, he may decline, but I believe that living with us would be healthier for him than the alternatives currently available, even though we could not provide anything like a traditional family structure, either by human standards or vampire ones.”

“A family can be three best friends and a tiny vampire,” Roman answered with a grin. 

Logan smiled back. “I did say ‘traditional.’” As the matter seemed to be settled, he asked, “Roman, how has that tricky quick change been coming?”

Roman lit up. “I think we’re nearly there,” he said. “There are now five actors assisting, and last night we got down to twelve seconds. And today I came up with a way to use some of the same pieces so they don’t have to come off!”

“How fast does it need to be?” Patton asked, temporarily distracted from his thoughts of adoption.

“If we can do it in five seconds, that would be perfect,” Roman answered. “But anything less than ten would honestly be pretty great.” He beamed. “I cannot wait to see you two’s faces when you see the play, it’s been a lot of fun to costume for, and we’ve got such a good cast. I love them all.”

The others smiled back at him, unable to resist his enthusiasm. “Opening night,” Patton promised.

Logan nodded. “I have double and triple checked that I will have that evening off, and that should there be any emergency for which I might ordinarily be on call, at minimum two other fully qualified individuals will be present.”

“Did anything exciting happen at work today?” Patton asked him.

“Nothing that is both non-confidential and wouldn’t turn your stomach,” Logan replied calmly. “Overall, my shift went optimally.” He ate another bite of spaghetti, looking thoughtful. “I did hold an infant.”

“Awwww!” Patton squealed.

Logan couldn’t help a grin. “It was less adorable at the time, as said infant was crying shrilly,” he admitted. “And I’m sure someone else could have done a better job of comforting. But yes. You would have enjoyed being there.”

~~~

After dinner, Logan put the leftovers away while Roman rinsed off the plates and serving bowls and put everything in the dishwasher. 

Patton stood by the kitchen window, looking out at the darkening sky. The sun, while low, was still entirely above the horizon. Logan joined him, putting a hand reassuringly on Patton’s elbow.

“What if he says no?” Patton asked, not looking at the others.

“Then we will give him our best wishes and an open invitation to visit any time he likes,” Logan answered.

Patton made a distressed sound.

“Maybe think about something else for a while,” Roman said from the sink. He scooped up some water and flung a spray of droplets at their backs. They both jumped, though Logan tried to hide it, and Patton squeaked in surprise. “You can’t do anything right now to affect the result,” Roman continued. “So it’s useless to stress over it.”

Logan nodded. “It will take several minutes for the sun to set,” he said. “While we wait, why don’t we put a puzzle together?”

Patton nodded. “Okay. Roman?”

“I’ll catch up when I’m done in here,” Roman answered. “Still gotta wash the cooking dishes.”

“Very well.” Logan lead Patton away, leaving Roman in the kitchen by himself. They went to Logan’s room instead, and Patton immediately went to Logan’s puzzle shelf, while Logan stacked books and papers to clear space on his desk.

Patton ran a finger down the sides of the boxes, listing them out loud. “Butterflies, under the ocean, castle, old house covered in plants, medical diagrams, waterfall…” He paused, lingering on a box, and then grinned and tapped it twice. “Kittens!” Careful not to dislodge the rest of the stack— puzzles were fun, but none of them wanted to put together half a dozen at once again— Patton eased the kitten puzzle out of the shelf.

Logan turned to see. Patton held up the puzzle with a wide grin, and Logan couldn’t help grinning back. It was indeed an appealing picture, and Patton’s smile was contagious. Logan pulled his desk chair off to the side out of the way and waved Patton over. With a bounce in his step, Patton crossed the room and put the box on Logan’s now-empty desk, easing the lid off to expose the puzzle pieces within.

“Dump ‘em?” he asked.

“Dump them,” Logan agreed, so Patton upended the box, pouring puzzle pieces across the entire top of the desk. Then he replaced the lid and set the whole thing at the back of the desk, leaning against the wall so that they could reference the picture but it was out of the way.

Together, the two of them started shifting the puzzle pieces around. Logan flipped them over so they were lying face up, while Patton spread them out thinner. Then, once all the pieces were facing up, Logan began to sort them by color. Patton picked out a couple edge pieces for the border, but then he noticed that he could put one of Logan’s piles together to show a ball of yarn, and did so.

Gradually, the puzzle took shape. There were either twenty-three or twenty-four kittens (Patton and Roman had both counted, but they couldn’t agree on whether or not the tail sticking out from the side of the couch and the face peeking out from the front of it belonged to the same cat), and as each was completed, Patton gave it a boop on the nose, or if it was facing away, a fond pat. Logan thought Patton was far cuter than the kittens, but said nothing in words, only gazed at him warmly. 

The puzzle was over half done when they heard a yelp from the hall. Patton looked toward the half-closed door worriedly. “Was that Roman?”

“It did sound like him,” Logan answered, still looking at the puzzle. “But as it was his ‘unexpected moth in my face’ or ‘suddenly the lights are off’ scream, rather than one of true fright, I doubt there is reason for concern.”

Patton looked unconvinced, but as no more sounds of distress followed, he returned his attention to the puzzle.

They only had a handful of pieces left when there came a knock, and the door opened further. On the other side stood Roman, and to the others’ surprise, Virgil was standing on his shoulder, holding on to Roman’s ear to keep his balance. 

For several seconds, nobody said anything. Then Virgil said, very softly, “Hi.”

~~~~~

Chapter 10: Virgil Gets Up to Shenanigans

~~~~~

Taglist: (please tell me if you’re not getting tagged! Also, if you change your username, you really should notify the people whose taglists you’re on. Tumblr somehow automatically knew to update @pawtonsanders to @dannydeceito, but not @pansexualincineratorgirl to @thomassandersismygayidolll . (luckily, I was able to find that original taglist request and see the new username to update it, but if you asked to be on a taglist via a comment rather than an ask, or if you did it before I started tagging such posts more thoroughly, I have no way to do so. And really, checking up on your new username is not my responsibility.))

@yourfreindlyneighborhoodnerd @aroundofapplesauce @kaytikitty @kitkat-kiwikat @panic-at-the-everything27 @darkle-elkrad @justanotherpurplebutterfly @smolkuriboh27 @hiddendreamer67 @cricks-loves-you @nonasficcollection @tiny-enby @comicsimpson @fioxypurr @starlightvirgil @just-another-rainbowblog @battleblaze @whatschooldoesntteachyou @nienna14 @unicornlogansanders @twilight-trix @sanderssidestrash27 @icecoldparadise @hedgiehoggles @axyzel @stillebesat @awkwardcat​ @dannydeceito @thomassandersismygayidolll 

#original #my writing #sanders sides #my sanders sides writing #Virgil the Wee Vampire #gt #sanders sides gt #Vampire Virgil au

[octoberland]

Happy Star Wars Day

It’s a little late, I know, but I’ve had a long day. I wanted to post a little present in honor of May 4th. I’ve been working on a Reylo fic. A serious one. It’s not done yet and I can’t promise when it will be done. I wish I had all kinds of free time right now but I’m one of those anomalous people that’s actually BUSIER now than I was before the pandemic. But I didn’t want to keep sitting on this and given everything that’s going on I thought it would be fun to post some of what I’ve written. 

This one ignores RoS entirely. It’s a direct sequel to TLJ. I don’t usually write science fiction so this is a challenge. Hopefully I can do it justice. I’m not posting this on AO3 yet so this is a Tumblr exclusive.  Please do not post anywhere else and credit if you share. Do we still need to say no copyright infringement intended? I feel like that’s gone out of fashion. 

Anyway, enjoy. Let me know if it’s something you’d want to read more of. I can promise you this, Ben won’t die.

Untitled Reylo fic

She found him on N'Adoon. It was a planet deep in the Outer Rim, as unforgiving as it was beautiful. Its climate was one of extremes. Freezing nights led to sweltering days. Torrential downpours would come only after months of drought. The winds could lift a Bantha clear off the ground, if one were unfortunate enough to find itself there. Little grew here, and even less survived.

Like the chaos of its climate, its politics were also often at odds. Decades ago, the Empire had tried to claim it as part of their plan to herd the Rebellion inward and away from the Unknown Regions. But they learned quickly that the elements were too harsh, even for them. So they left, and N'Adoon became nothing more than an entry in a log about an inhospitable and uninhabitable planet not worth the efforts of the Empire.

Since that time others had tried to claim it as their own. Explorers, slavers, even one creature who fancied itself the Maker. All perished; either by nature or by the hand of another. Ruled by none, it had become home to criminals and smugglers on both sides of the war. Spies, assassins, traitors, all found themselves here at some point. None stayed for long. None wanted to.  

She would have missed him, if not for their bond. It pulled at her and she followed it the way she used to follow tracks in the sand on Jakku. He was good at trying to hide. He would pluck her strings this way and that, sending her on wild chases through the galaxy. But she was better. She'd accepted that this would be a long game and that acceptance gave her clarity. So, when that pulse inside of her said to head away from the Rim she ignored it and went deeper in. He was throwing stones, she had realized. Misdirecting her. And she was done falling for it.

The rains had come by the time she arrived. She'd missed the Great Rise that accompanied them though she'd heard tell of it. Whole settlements would detach from the ground and float upon the water. They would stay like that, adrift, through all the weeks of flooding, until the droughts once again brought them to their dusty roots.

She knew she wouldn’t find him in the townships. He would not be among people, sharing drinks and meals and gambling for trade. He would be alone somewhere, because that was who he was. Or at least, who he believed himself to be. Instead, she searched the mountains. It was treacherous, tedious work. The rains soaked her to her bones and more than once she had skidded down the side of a slippery outcropping. Her body became bruised and battered and she questioned why she was even trying at all. But then, she would rest, and echoes of their bond would slip along her skin while she slept. Sometimes, she would dream. She would wake screaming, determination born anew.

Weeks passed and his silence spoke volumes. She was close. She knew it.

She found that, after the rains had ended, there was a brief and beautiful moment of bounty on this strange planet. Life sprang forth, green and vibrant and it perfumed the air around her. She felt it when she sat in stillness and closed her eyes. She felt tendrils reaching up from deep within the earth. She sensed the unfurling of tiny leaves on trees in a valley below. She could feel the patter of little feet, many of them, climbing out of burrows high in the mountains. It created a rhythm in her mind, a sort of tumbling thicket of sound not unlike the lapping of waves back on Ahch-To.

Scritch, woosh, thump, scritch, woosh, thump, thump, thump…

Rey's eyes opened. The sound remained though she felt it more than heard it. She stood, and nearly stumbled as she did so. She looked around, eyes wide and searching. She gathered her things quickly and scaled the next ridge clumsily. Her feet slipped in her haste and the misstep sent stones clattering down the side of the mountain. When she finally managed to right herself and clear the top her breath caught in her throat.

He was there. Tall and lean and worn. His dark hair was nearly double in length and stubble shadowed his jaw.

"You shouldn't have come," he said.

He turned from her and walked away, a small creature dangling limply from one of his large hands.

Rey followed, her steps quick and her mind churning. She’d expected a fight, maybe even a New Order hidden in these mountains. But not this. Not this disheveled man living on scraps of meat.

They approached a small campsite nestled against the remnants of a ship. Not his, she noted. Something old and rusted and nearly embedded in the side of an outcropping. Kylo sat on a cushion she assumed he’d pulled from the wreckage and began to dress his meager kill.

Anger brewed in Rey. She’d come all this way. Left her friends behind. And for what? For this broken man living like a hermit? Her saber sparked to life.

“Get up,” she said.

Kylo glanced at her and the corners of his mouth ticked up.

“You haven’t changed,” he said. He continued to skin his dinner, hands bloody and calloused.

“I’m taking you back.” Rey put one foot forward, readying herself in her fighting stance. “You need to pay for what you did.” she continued.

Kylo let out a deep sigh. He tossed the small animal to the ground and stood to his full height.

“Look around,” he said. His arms spread wide displaying his surroundings. “I am paying.”

“You know what I mean.” Hot tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

“Rey.” Kylo took a step towards her and she parried back on instinct.

Kylo retreated. “I’m not going to fight you. And I’m not going anywhere.”

He picked up his meal, brushed it off, and headed inside the broken down ship he called home.

***

Elsewhere in the galaxy….

The child picked through heaps of garbage. Their feet were dirty and their stomach grumbled. Momma was hungry too, they knew. And sometimes scraps could be found here, deep beneath the waste of the warmongers. Meal packets, ready to eat, unable to be scented by the mongrels that roamed these hills.

The sky above was gray and the air smelled metallic. They would have to head back soon. A storm was coming. They kicked at some scrap metal and a Lir rat burst from underneath and ran. The child knew that was a sign. Where there were rats, there was food. They dug at the pile of debris, tossing aside tubing, circuitry, and even part of what looked to have been a droid. Underneath, there was some netting, possibly from a camp.

The child pulled back the netting to reveal a door, dented and open just enough for them to slip through. They ignited the small light stick they carried with them and squeezed inside.

It was a ship, buried nose first in the earth, its front windows smashed and dirt filling the cavernous space. They could just make out what looked like one armored leg sticking out from the debris. Long dead consoles lined one wall, their indicator lights dark and silent.

The child felt wonder. They’d never been in a ship before. Only seen them in the sky above. They immediately approached the console and began to hit buttons, imitating the sounds they thought they would make.

Beep, boop, beep...

Whoosh.

A door slid open and a body tumbled out, startling the child. It looked like one of the white warriors except its armor was different, darker and shinier. The child knew it was dead. They had seen enough dead bodies in their short life to know. In the distance thunder rumbled. They didn’t have much time.

The child stepped over the armored corpse and deeper into the lifeless ship. Matte paneling lined the walls. They observed a smashed console next to the door, presumably the one that controlled it. There was evidence of laser blasts too, as though someone had desperately tried to escape this corridor.

The air here was stale and everything was pin drop quiet. Dust motes danced in the light from their stick. Further back there were more bodies, one piled on top of the other. The child could make out a stretch of skin beneath one askew helmet. It looked shriveled and withered and made the child shudder.

The child felt a sudden and overwhelming need to be with their mother. They turned, ready to go home and spend another night hungry.

It was then that another door opened, just to the left of the child.

Inside was a single object perched on a pedestal. A mask. And it seemed to the child that all of their prayers had been answered. For surely something deserving of a pedestal must be worth quite a lot.

Their family would not go hungry after all.

***

Back on N’Adoon

Rey was dreaming. In her dream she was walking. She didn’t recognize the planet she was on. It was devoid of life as far as she could see. She reached out with the Force, searching for something, anything, but all she felt in return was a vast nothingness.

The atmosphere glowed red, blocking any view of the stars above that might have told her where she was. This was worse than Jakku, she thought. Here she felt cut off entirely, her Force sensitivity useless amidst all this decay.

She walked on. She walked through canyons and up hillsides. Red, dry earth cracked beneath her feet with each step she took. There were no forests like on Takodana. No settlements like on Jakku. No oceans like on Ahch-To. There was no evidence that life had ever existed here at all.

Rey was thirsty. The dry air made her throat burn. Her skin itched and she scratched mindlessly at her arm. She paused her fruitless wandering and reached for her canteen, looking down to unscrew the cap.

She gasped and dropped the canteen.

She held her hands out before her, disbelieving of what she was seeing.

Withered skin, shriveling as she watched, wrinkled and gray. And then pain. Pain like she’d never felt, as though her very life were draining from her body. She began to unravel her arm wraps to see how far it spread.

That’s when she began to scream.

***

“Rey. Rey!”

Kylo was holding her by her arms and shaking her.

“Get off me!” She scurried back against the ship’s hull in the little corner she’d claimed. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep but she’d been so bone tired from her journey.

Kylo released her but he hovered near her, watching her intently.

“I’m okay,” she muttered, straightening herself.

“You didn’t sound okay.”

He looked at her with such genuine concern that Rey flushed.

“You smell,” she said, distracting herself.

One corner of his mouth ticked upward, an almost smile. He stood.

“So do you.” He turned and retreated to his corner of the ship.

Rey’s brow furrowed. “I do not.” Her voice was indignant but when he turned she lifted her shirt and inhaled.

“What you were dreaming?” he asked as he settled back into his corner of the ship.

Rey didn’t look at him. She reached for her canteen and then recoiled, the memory of what she’d dreamt snapping her back. She sighed and looked towards the door. It was still dark out, but only just.

“Don’t you know?” Her face hardened as she recalled when they’d first met, the way he’d reached into her mind seeking out information.

“No,” he replied, barely a whisper.

Rey stole a glance. He was sitting, eyes cast down, shame etched across his grimy face.

Rey’s frustration bubbled up and she stood. “I don’t believe you!” she shouted. “I don’t believe this act! You’re up to something. You’re always up to something.”

She strode towards him, determined.

“What is it?” she demanded. “What are you planning?” She reached for her saber but Kylo pulled her down and stayed her hand.

“You want to know?” he asked. “You really want to know?” Kylo took a deep breath. 

“I’ll show you.”

#star wars #reylo #fanfiction #maythe4thbewithyou

[waltrp]

YOUR TALENT MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE. YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF IT

BIDDI BOPPI BOOP A SPECIAL MESSAGE ADMIN ZULEMA: this is truly the season of returning members and we’re thriving lads ! Jill, I am so happy to welcome you back to walt. your app for Tiffani was brilliant. you have so much passion and love for this character. I know she’s in good hands and that you’ll bring so much to her. I’m excited about what you’ll bring to the dash with this feisty pixie ! Please refer to THIS PAGE for your next tasks. We can’t wait to roleplay with you. Welcome to our Ohana xx.

It’s a pleasure to meet you…

Jill, 30, eastern, she/her :)

My favorite fruit is raspberries

I love swords

I know more than I ever wanted to about Shakespeare’s history plays

No triggers!

Are you positive you can be active?

Yes, I’d been planning a return to rp to give me something to do during my day job once I was done with this season’s rep shows… and then covid happened…

How did you stumble upon Walt?

Walt was the first post that came up when I typed “Disney rp” in the tumblr search so I took it as a sign

Did you read the rules?

Yup!

Are you sure?

rfp

Character you want?

Tiffani Belle

Please describe the character for us

Baseball caps and glitter. Those were the words to describe Tiffani Belle as she was growing up. Born to a well-off family, Tiffani was the only girl her age growing up in her neighborhood. The boys all gave her the nickname Tink, because she was the tiniest of their playdate crew. The tiny blonde swelled with pride, and quickly had every single one of them wrapped around her little finger. She could get down and dirty with the rest of them, but she knew that being a girl made her special. She spent her childhood days fixing her friends’ bicycles, collecting grass stains on her clothes, and convincing all the boys that because they were friends, she should be their first kiss. (Somewhere in her childhood bedroom, she still has the contract they drafted on that day in first grade when the boys lined up to peck their lips against Tiffani’s.)

Tiffani took to the role of leader quickly. It wasn’t necessarily a control thing, but Tiffani liked to be in charge, and she really liked for things to go her way. She was headstrong from childhood onward, more than willing to use her leadership skills and stubbornness to fight for what she believed in – whether that be later bedtimes with mom and dad, or returning tater tots to the elementary school lunch menu. They were a kid favorite, potatoes were good for you and ketchup was technically a vegetable, and they deserved to be eaten!

Getting to high school wasn’t much different for Tink. Now she was a little fish in a big pond, but being small had never held Tink back before. Tiffani made sure to make her name known early on in her high school year. As the weather was getting warmer, Tink stood on top of the cafeteria table, white tennis shoes squeaking against the plastic table top, mini skirt almost dangerously short from that angle, and demanded students be allowed to eat their lunches outside. They had gorgeous weather half the school year, it was their right to be able to enjoy the outdoors, and their medical need to soak up the Vitamin D. Administration caved, and Tink was class president for two years after that.

But the older she got, the lonelier Tink became at the top. The girls all wanted to be her, and the boys all wanted to date her. Well, the ones that mattered anyway. But as the years went by, the more Tink became a leader and the boss, and the less she had any actual friends.

Fairy wings and pixie dust. That was when everything started to change. Puberty for Tiffani had started on the early side. She took it in stride, loving to be first in everything. She was the first in her grade with boobs (small as they may have been at the time) and she flaunted her period to her classmates because they were still girls but now she was a woman. What Tink wasn’t prepared for was the pain that started in her shoulders one evening. She’d spent the day with some of the boys switching between doing pushups and sitting on top of them while they did pushups. Tink loved to show them up whenever she can, reminding them that just because she was small and a girl didn’t mean that she couldn’t do just as many reps as they could. So she’d thought nothing of the pain, writing it off as having pushed her body a bit too far that day. But the pain didn’t dissipate, and it was a few days later that she saw them: iridescent wings starting to poke from her shoulder blades. The oddities multiplied from there. Tink didn’t know anything about what was happening (she knew how to use the internet, she’d figure some things out), but she knew that she couldn’t tell anyone. Not if she was going to stay on top. So the top became even lonelier.

Meeting Pippin Pan changed everything. He transferred to her school, and Tink saw something in him. Saw that he was a leader and an adventurer like herself, and to top it off, Pippin wasn’t immediately intimidated by her. In fact, she was sure that he saw an equal in Tink just as she saw him as an equal to her. The two became attached at the hip, a couple of teenagers at the top, and Tiffani would do anything for Pippin. Anything. He was the first person she told about her abilities, and he was the first person Tiffani had any real romantic feelings for. He made her heart race, and she was ready to see what was on the opposite end of their friendship.

Turns out the only thing there was disappointment. When the Darlings came to town, Pippin became fascinated with them. So naturally Tink hated them. She hated Wendy, she hated Jane, she hated that Pippin wanted anything to do with them at all, and she hated that she still needed Pippin as her best friend and her right hand. She hated that she’d shared her secrets and her heart with him, and he dared to care about anyone other than her. Green had always been a good color for Tiffani, it really brought out her eyes, but jealousy consumed the girl and their relationship never truly recovered.

Soon after she met Hook, and Tink was no longer concerned with friendship or Pippin or being a leader. What had leadership gotten her? After all these years? No, true leadership would come later. Tiffani Belle would take the world by storm one day, but Hook new about revenge. Hook stirred a darkness within her, growing out of that jealousy, his silver tongue and clever words working their way into Tink’s heart and mind. He could help her get Pippin back, and everything would go back to normal. But the blonde might’ve been in too deep. She connected with Hook in a way she’d never connected with anyone before, told him all of her secrets, gave him all of herself; he listened, was a comforting presence, and give Tink the push she needed to make sure stupid Wendy Darling was out of the way and Pippin would be hers again.

But the prank went too far, the Darlings wound up in the hospital, and something about that night opened Tiffani’s eyes. She was alone again, but that old spark – the one that was there before boys and feelings became involved – was ignited once more. Of course, everything had changed. She could never go back to the girl she was, not if she stayed. She told her parents everything, her entire side of the story, and even she couldn’t bring herself to argue when the decided to ship her off to Walt.

Second character choice

n/a (but I may also have plans for Honey Lemon and the return of one Rita Holden)

It’s time to see that sample para.

cw: pixie dust related flying/broken bones accident

Perfect. Everything was perfect. And then those stupid Darling children came along and ruined it.

What did Wendy Darling have that Tiffani didn’t? Tink had power, popularity, imperfection. Tink had magic: she could fly, she could shrink, her pixie dust could make Pippin fly too. But perfect little birdy Wendy Darling came along and none of that mattered anymore. She didn’t matter anymore.

Well fuck them. Tink had found a new companion and new friendship in James Hook. With him she didn’t need to be a leader anymore. She could follow and learn and love him instead. Not real love, of course. Real love was bullshit that got her nothing and nowhere. When she was eventually back on top again, with the Darlings out of the way, love would be an emotion she would let nowhere near her tiny body. The wasn’t room anymore for love. Just like there wasn’t room for the Darlings.

It had been Hook’s idea, but Tiffani had latched on to his scheme, and now the time had come. He’d been able to get close to the Darlings in a way that Tink had been loath to do. She admired him for that, for his ability to hide that side of him in order to move forward with revenge. I would be harmless enough, just a simple scare to put the darling Wendy bird in her place. She wasn’t god’s gift to mankind, yet somehow she’d made Pippin think she was.

Digging through her closet, Tinkerbell pulled out the bit of pixie dust she’d been saving. She’d only ever used this on two other people before: Pippin and then Hook; but now she’d secretly use it on the Darlings, too.

She met up with Hook on the edge of town. The Darlings would be meeting him soon, then Tink would take care of the magic, and he would take care of the rest. Before she shrunk to fairy size, Hook’s hands pulled the tiny blonde in to him for a kiss, rough and raw and fiery and full of passion, striking the heat in Tink’s body that rose every time he did that. Who needed love and romance when there were people like hook who were so sexy and free of attachment?

Hidden from view, when the Darlings arrived and Hook started sewing his side of the plan, Tiffani silently sprinkled her pixie dust on their shoulders.

—What? —No—Hook wasn’t supposed to tell them how it worked. They were supposed to be shocked when they suddenly found themselves flying. A shock that would turn their lives around the way Tink’s wings had turned around hers.

Rage flared in Tink’s tiny fairy body, and she flittered toward Hook at a moment when the Darlings had turned away, but he flicked her away with a wave of his hand, and Tiffani darted to the ground as she tried to regain control of her wings. Too late she did, and she skid along the ground, crossing her arms in anger and disbelief. But she couldn’t revel in those feelings for too long, because then Hook was leading them away, and Tiffani would be damned if she let herself get left behind, now that Hook had screwed everything up. He was just like Pippin, dumping her for Wendy, and using her magic to garner Wendy’s praises.

She doesn’t like to think too often about the in between; about the events that lead to what happened next. But suddenly the Darlings were flying. Except they weren’t flying, they were falling. Falling from too many stories high. That wasn’t right, Tink’s pixie dust was fail proof. Perhaps it had worn off? She may have hated Wendy Darling, but she wasn’t in the murder business. Another sprinkling would do the trick. Reaching into her pocket, Tiffani withdrew her bag of pixie dust.

Pixie dust that wasn’t pixie dust.

Too late she realized that Hook had switched the bag, pulled her in for a kiss, wrapped his arms around her waist, and replaced her precious pixie dust (which was very much a part of her) with something else. And she could only stare in horror as the first bone cracked.

Anything else, love?

~

Yup!

#waaccept #accept #disney rp #bio rp #rp #rpg #roleplay #animation rp #cartoon rp #school rp #university rp #magic rp #power rp

[writer-and-artist27]

Friendship over Chivalry

Note: Because I finally watched the infamous Episode 16 of Fate/Zero, well, let’s just all agree Diarmuid deserves better. Rewatching some of his final moments is so hard and I had to remedy that. So, I’m writing again. Dunno if this’ll go into Small Sparkles yet, so I wanted to post on Tumblr first. Inspired by @raspberryusagi’s art once more, plus a story she wrote way back when. This is for you, Usagi-san. I hope you’ll like this. :) A sequel to my previous Diarmuid writings.

The theme for this small thing is actually the song featured in the first Fate AMV I watched, being The Beginning from Against The Current. The AMV in question featured scenes from almost everything in the various Fate continuities, and considering how the lyrics seem to speak to all the Servants I’ve seen… it fit. 

Go ahead and enjoy. Warnings for Servant angst and calls for much-needed therapy talks. Seriously, where are the therapists for these people…?

-----------------------------------------------

“Tomoko?”

A soft call of my name was the start of the day. In any other situation, I would’ve responded with a normal greeting befitting of my occupation of cafe pianist, more so since I was still at work. Something like, “Yes, what can I do to help you?” would’ve been fitting. 

But this time? 

My nerves all tensed and my heart jumped.

There was something about this call that made things different. 

The name was already on my tongue when I turned around and made eye contact with yellow eyes. The mole underneath the right eye confirmed everything else. I couldn’t help but beam. The lances strapped to his back weren’t an issue in the slightest. Heck, even if I was at work, there was no way I couldn’t be happy at seeing a friend. “Dia!” 

“My lady,” he said softly, the smile honest and wide on his face as he bowed his head, one arm tucked towards his chest. “Apologies for the intrusion and the use of such of a title, but I had to come to see you. May I partake in a bit of your time?”

I blinked before holding back a fond sigh. This was definitely Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, first spear of the Knights of Fionna and Lancer Servant I came to call as a friend in dreams. He was still being that regal Knight, even when it had been so long since we solidified friendship to begin with. Considering the fact that he wasn’t wearing his armor and instead partaking in a suit a la a certain Saber I grew to love… Heh. Instead of sighing, I reached over and lightly poked the top of Diarmuid’s head. “Boop. Dia, you silly Knight, you should know my answer.”

He jolted, the two spears on his back clinking against one another with the motion. Then he raised his head, yellow eyes shining with uncertainty as he opened his mouth. “Should I take that as a ‘yes’?” he tried quietly.

“It’s definitely a ‘yes’, you silly Lancer.” I couldn’t help but giggle because the face he was wearing was so fish-like. He needed more nice things. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Something shined in Diarmuid’s yellow eyes as he opened his mouth again. “Perhaps if…” he shook his head. “No, it is nothing.” He put on another smile, and I decided not to mention how fake it looked in spite of the relief in his eyes, instead noting it in my head for later. “Thank you, Tomoko.”

I inclined my head and smiled back. Usako-san wasn’t with him, so considering he was alone… There was no denying all of the worry bells going off in my head. “I can get my break from Mama and Papa, so then we can talk at the piano? Or do you want to talk outside?”

Diarmuid bowed his head again, the smile on his face turning a bit more genuine with the gesture. “The piano is sufficient, Tomoko. As long as there is privacy—”

I couldn’t help the high-pitched glee filling my voice as my mouth moved for me. “Got it!” The privacy seal was already on my fingertips once I reached into my kimono sleeve for the thing. So, once it was in my hands to brandish like a trophy to my Lancer of a friend, Diarmuid blinked. “No need to worry!”

“Ah…” Diarmuid stared at me for another second or so before covering his mouth with one of his gauntlet-covered hands, his eyebrows furrowing on his head. His shoulders were shaking just like Saber’s when she laughed. Awww. “Pft, my word, milady,” he snickered quietly, “you have not changed in the time of my absence, have you?”

I could feel my smile turn a bit more solemn. “I try not to,” I confessed, my voice quieting with the emotion. “I hope it convinces you to keep coming back like this.”

The thought was kept to the back of my mind instead of being voiced aloud.  

I get lonely too, y’know. 

I couldn’t stop my ninja friends from taking missions. I never could. 

Even then, there was no way I could voice that, especially to Dia.

Still, those yellow eyes of Diarmuid’s focused on me again with a wide look before softening. “Of course, Tomoko. Serving you — no,” Diarmuid shook his head, his eyes a bit more sad looking before he tucked a hand towards his chest, “being your friend has been a surprisingly pleasant experience. Please do not assume I feel discontent towards you. This brutish warrior has…” I was not expecting him to blush. “I admit it is informal, but the platonic affection in this shrewd heart of mine is real when I think of you.”

The waning smile on my face was already growing back to be a beam I couldn’t hide thanks to those words from the Lancer. Diarmuid. No, Dia. Still a Knight even in a new life with a new lord. Or perhaps “savior” would be the better term. Usako-san, even from the few times Diarmuid mentioned her, did so many things that made him happier. To see him actually admit to something “informal” like that — all I could say to describe the feeling was that it was definitely a warmth I liked. 

“Thankie, Dia,” I allowed myself to say, trying not to grin like a goof. “Now, come on. There’s a chair near the piano for you.”

Diarmuid smiled back at me, and in that moment, the sunlight probably could’ve become twice as bright.

-----------------------------------------------

I probably shouldn’t have been so surprised considering Diarmuid did want to be alone and without the supervision of Saber, but still.

“You knew Arturia-san?” The question came off feeling foreign and wrong in my mouth, and once Diarmuid flinched, I tried to backtrack. “I mean, if you don’t want to say anymore, I understand, Dia! I won’t pry if you don’t want me to! So… I’m sorry for interrupting. You can get back to your story.” 

Yeeeep. Those gold eyes staring at me didn’t help much, so the last bit came out far too high-pitched for my liking. Sure, I could give myself a little slack because of how I wasn’t expecting that, but still. Even if Arturia-san shared personal things at her own discretion, which was rare, that did not warrant a surprised reaction towards Diarmuid sharing something himself. 

I forced myself to take a breath to calm myself. “S-Sorry, Dia. Really.”

“Milady — no, Tomoko — there is nothing to apologize for,” Diarmuid said immediately, and the apparent callused hand covering the top of both of my own made it obvious he was trying to comfort me in some way. “I should have explained more properly had I known you would be so shocked. So,” he squeezed my hands, “may I?”

I met his eyes and nodded. “Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do. I’ll try to stay calm.”

He smiled softly. “Thank you, Tomoko.” There was no missing the gratitude in his voice. It was then his turn to take a breath, and then Dia bowed his head, never retracting his grip on my hands. “I… I would like your advice on how to apologize to her.”

“Eh?” I blinked. The first question of “What did you do wrong” immediately graced my head, but I pushed it back so that it wouldn’t fall onto my tongue. There was no way I could ask that. His grip on my hands was desperate enough as is. Instead, I took another breath and said quietly, “Could I ask why you feel that way, Diarmuid?”

Dia raised his head just slightly to show the tops of his eyelids, but he still didn’t meet my eyes. “…Alright, Tomoko,” he allowed, before taking a breath.  “In the past, when I had a different Lord than Lady Usako, I met Saber — Arturia Pendragon — in combat over the Holy Grail.” The shrewd and fond smile on his face was such a tiny gesture, but spoke volumes of something I knew he was just barely covering the iceberg on. “She was a brilliant warrior, even back then, and I had always hoped to have one last battle with her before the end. With both of our honors as Knights on the line, to the death.”

I nodded, trying to give what was an understanding hum for him to continue. Even if a part of me wasn’t sure of what I was doing, even when another part of me was scared at just hearing the “to the death” part, I turned my right hand over so I could grip his left hand. 

Through the handhold, I could feel Diarmuid jolt just slightly before relaxing, and his thumb immediately rubbed the side of my pointer finger. “Thank you for the comfort, Milady,” he said quietly before loosening his grip, “but I do not believe I deserve such a thing. I… I cursed Saber in my last moments before meeting you.”

Oh god. 

Cold dread washed over me first, but I held it down with everything I had, keeping my voice plaintive and soft while never letting go of his limp fingers. “Why did you think you did that, Dia?” There was no way I could reject him. Even if I didn’t know Dia as long as I did Art-san, he was still a Servant I could call a friend. Family even, if I could go that far with the number of times we met in dreams. So for him to pull away like this, no. “There’s a difference between ‘deserve’ and ‘want,’ Dia. And I want to comfort you and hear you out.” 

Diarmuid raised his head to look at me, and the molten gold of his eyes had me stop for a moment. In that instant, it felt like the mole under his right eye was glowing, and I rubbed my eyes with my left hand. The rubbing helped since the glowing stopped once I pulled my hand back, but was it just me…? “Thank you, Milady,” he said again, but he shook his head. “But I am not sure. I said many horrible things I wish I could take back. So many vile words a Knight of my caliber should not have uttered. And fate was cruel to both of us then. I served a Master that did not deserve my spears. I bewitched my Master’s beloved with this curse of mine without meaning to.” 

It was hard to miss how he absently touched the mole under his eye with the statement. 

Yet another sign a friend of mine needed therapy and more help than I could possibly give. But I still stayed quiet to hear the rest. 

“And yet,” he paused, as if fighting a lump in his throat. “I… In the last moments of my previous life, of the War I fought before I met you and Lady Usako, when facing Saber that last time in combat, the only one I could honorably face as myself and not a Servant bound by Command Seals, I…” his smile dropped completely as he turned away, not meeting my eyes. “I cursed her. Bleeding at the mouth, dying. My previous Lord had commanded me to die, and it was all because of her Lord. So, I hoped she would meet a cruel end. I hoped, at the time, that her dreams would bear no fruit because of the actions her previous Master did that led to my end. The things he did, that fiend—” Dia turned his head away, and I tried not to flinch. Saber’s previous Master was a man? But I thought Saber fought in the Fourth and Fifth Holy Grail Wars… “I do not know if she had any part in what her Master planned. But it…” 

I gripped his hand as gently as I could. “It hurt?”

There was a pause. “Yes,” Dia said finally. His voice cracked slightly too. “It did. Thinking of her, the King of Knights, assisting in such cruelty.” Then, for some reason, a bit of wonder crept into his voice. Or was it contemplative quiet? I didn’t know, but waited anyways. “But when I look back, when I remember that time, the look on Saber’s face, Arturia’s face — it all spoke of shock. As if she did not know and did not wish such a thing to happen to begin with. And I cursed her without knowing any better. And when seeing her again here, happy with you, Tomoko, I…” he gently pushed my hand away. “I do not believe I have the right to try to apologize after that. To try finding out the truth. Even if I share a friendship with you.” Diarmuid hung his head, frowning bitterly. “I do not know why I even came to you about this, speaking of troubles that rest far beyond your lifetime. A brute such as myself should not have the right to be so selfish and imposing on you, Milady.”

Something in me snapped.

Maybe it was the name. Maybe it was Dia not making eye contact. But still. Something snapped.

Okay, just stop. Stop there, Dia. Stop right there.

I shook my head. “Dia.” I wanted to reach out to grip his hand again, but he had already clenched both of his hands into fists atop his knees, so I held back. “That last part might be because we’re friends, isn’t it?”

Diarmuid’s head was still bowed, but I could see him startle. “Pardon?”

Another snap in my blood. 

This had gone on for too long. 

I reached over to poke his forehead. “First, a boop for you, because this much self-deprecating talk means I owe you a concert now to get that out of your head.” The words were enough to get Diarmuid’s attention to finally look up, but before he could open his mouth in what I could assume was a protest, I cut him off with a miffed, “And secondly, it’s not about whether you ‘have’ the right or not, Dia. It’s whether you’re gonna give yourself that chance to apologize and make amends. Because to me,” I booped him again, harder on his head. He didn’t get pushed back as much as I would’ve liked, but the shock in his gold eyes were enough of a sign to show that he was listening. “You’ve already earned it back.”

“…Come again?” Diarmuid gaped.

I held back a sigh, booping him again, a bit softer this time with my pointer finger so he wouldn’t recoil from the force. “Dia, the simple fact that you came to me in spite of all your pain about it means you want to move forward, at least to me. You don’t want to have any more regrets, so by confiding in a friend, you hoped to find a solution.” I smiled and reached over to grab his left hand in my right once those gold eyes focused on me. “Or if I’m wrong, feel free to correct me.”

It took another long while, but Diarmuid gripped my hand back. “Go on, Tomoko,” he said dutifully. “It feels right.”

“What am I, a queen? No.” I laughed it off. “Dia.” Out of some kind of feeling, I leaned in to bump foreheads. “You’re doing fine. The fact that you asked me, I’m honored, okay? Don’t feel horrible for expressing anger or hurt when it’s natural to do so from us being human. Sure, you’re a Servant,” I gestured to the two lances still sitting strapped to his back, much to the visible chagrin of some servers passing by, “but you still have your memories. You still have your heart of a human. And it’s okay to feel the way you do.” 

“Milady…”

I bumped his head with mine, cupping his cheek with my left hand. “Tomoko, Dia. I’m Tomoko, remember? And I’m not your lady. Your lady now is Usagi-chan, right?”

A hand was gripping the one I was using to hold Lancer’s face. “…Yes,” he admitted. “You are correct, Tomoko. But… but I—”

“There are no ‘buts’ here, Dia.” I bumped his head again while closing my eyes, absently starting to wonder when the numbing feeling would come in to replace the slight bits of pain running through my nervous system. “It’s not about what you did in the past that decides things. It’s how you are in this very moment. So, how do you feel now?”

Diarmuid paused, his breath gently brushing my nose from the close contact we were sharing. “Unsure,” he said quietly. “But I want to be a better Knight. I want to reconcile.” 

“With Arturia-san?” I tried.

“…With Saber,” Dia agreed. I did not miss how he squeezed both my hands.  

“And that’s the first step, Dia,” I opened my eyes to stare into his gold eyes, smiling. “You know what you have to do. You got the chance a lot of others probably wish they could’ve had.” Like me with Ty, maybe. Instead of voicing that, I kept smiling. “What matters now is when and where you want to go. What you want to do to accomplish what you want.” I pulled back, never letting go of his hands, instead shrugging my shoulders towards the cafe entrance. “Saber gets her break in a few minutes, so if you want, Dia, I can call her over?”

“Eh?” Diarmuid looked positively baffled now, his gaze shifting between me and the cafe around us. “But, Tomoko, I believe Saber is still working until sundown—”

I let go of his cheek to point towards my own head with a grin. “You underestimate me, Dia. And besides.” I patted his hand. “I said it before. ‘Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do.’ It’s what friends do. So, Dia,” I toned down the grin to what was hopefully a warm smile as Diarmuid met my eyes again, “do you want me to call Arturia-san over?”

Yet again, those gold eyes flickered. Diarmuid glanced between his lap, me, and the piano in quick succession before going back to focus on me. Slowly but surely, a smile grew on his face too. A more Dia-like smile. “Then, if it is alright, Tomoko, please.” He hung his head. “Nothing would be more helpful than that.”

Keeping the happy juice to myself, I reached over to wrap my arms around his neck in a hug before thinking the words. Art-san? 

Yes, Milady? 

Hee hee. You’re attentive. Enough about that though. There’s someone here that would like to talk to you. I let go of Dia with a single pat to his shoulder with my free hand before getting up from my piano bench. They’re at the piano, so come back in to take your break, okay?

A pause. Should I be worried, Tomoko? You sound more excited than usual… 

No. The smile on my face was definitely real. I couldn’t help but hum. Not at all. I’ll take your shift out the door while you talk. I’m fine, Art-san. 

If you are sure… 

Once I walked off the stage, I could see my Knight walk back through the red cafe doors, much to the visible surprise of my Lancer friend. Once those emerald green eyes focused on me, I winked at her. Don’t worry, Saber. Leave the worrying to me. 

For once, I could walk out and be the host I always wanted to be. 

It wasn’t my place to listen in.

-----------------------------------------------

“Lancer? You… You were here?”

Diarmuid took a breath. “Hello, Arturia. It has been a while.” I have another chance to repent. “I… I meant to apologize.”

The former King of Knights took a seat next to him before smiling sadly. “I meant to say the same too. Our last bout, it did not end the way I wanted it to. You…” Arturia hung her head. “You deserved better. Kiritsugu was a fiend, and if I had known what he was planning, I would have stopped him. With all my might, all my power, if it meant making a difference.” The words were inadequate, but she bowed her head and said them. “I’m sorry.”

“Saber, I…” Diarmuid shook his head. “I’m sorry too. For all I said. For cursing you. May I… May I explain myself? If it is not a bother?”

Arturia shook her head too, catching a glimpse of a familiar paper square on the piano nearby. “It could never be a bother.” She paused. “I missed you.”

A hand cupped her chin to guide her gaze upwards, and Saber looked up to see Diarmuid’s gold eyes. “I missed you too.” 

Neither Servant could miss Tomoko smiling to herself outside the Cafe doors, but they decided not to comment on it, sharing a smile between themselves. 

-----------------------------------------------

“Hi, Usagi-chan!”

“Hello, Tomoko-san. I’m here for Diarmuid…? Got another mission to fight on.”

There was a pointing of a finger. “Inside of the cafe, near the piano, having a heart-to-heart, I think you’ll have to wait a while…?”

“Oh.” The saying was accentuated by the wag of a wolf tail and the twitch of wolf ears. “Is it working out?”

“I think so!”

“Hee hee.”

“So… want a cup of tea?”

“That’d be nice!”

The two girls shared a giggle. It was all good. 

#hoshino tomoko #diarmuid ua duibhne #arturia pendragon #healing over time #writing #long post #alternate universe #raspberryusagi

[i-prefer-the-term-antihero]

My 2018 in Review (Long Post Incoming!)

I know everyone’s been making new years posts, and that I’m late, but I’ve been thinking about what I’d say for this post for months, so…

Once again, VERY long post incoming! (I put a “keep reading” bar, but it doesn’t always show up on my posts…) Also...please forgive any typos...I’m writing this at midnight. 

I don't know if anyone will be interested in this, or read the whole thing...but here goes. 

To begin: 

Last year, during December ,I wrote my Pandora Hearts fic “The Things We Say Aloud.” During the fic, it’s been raining all month, and it finally snows on Christmas Eve. I lived in Seattle, where it does snow, but white christmases are rare. Last year, after writing that fic, it snowed at my house on christmas eve. It felt like a christmas gift that my fic came true in my own life.

But there was this little voice in the back of my head that said “What if this is your gift for your last year in Seattle?”

My response was “What the heck?! Why would you even think that?! Why would we leave Seattle?!"

When this year started, I was doing just fine. I was starting my (*cough cough* second...) gap year, happy in my house in Seattle, writing, and soon I started cat sitting, which was kind of the perfect job for me. 

But things were stagnant, I wasn’t really sure what the year would hold, or if I was doing what I was meant to do—or simply what I was meant to do in general. I wasn’t making much progress in my original novel, and I wondered what I was supposed to be doing, if I was making the right choice in still not going to college. (A lot like the feeling Thomas Sanders described in “Learning New Things About Ourselves”)

By far the highlight of my year is that I got to go to a bunch of conventions (which, while I always wanted to do before, I never did for some reason), and meet my three most favorite celebrities in the entire world: David Tennant, Tom Hiddleston, and Jacksepticeye. (I got to briefly meet Summer Glau, Sean Maher, and Tom Holland as well, which was also AWESOME, but I didn’t actually get to talk to them...).  I’m not going to go into a ton of detail about that right now, (but I would love to make a post about my experiences meeting them, and/or going to cons in general, but I fear it’ll sound like bragging…so let me know if any of you are interested!), but that was absolutely AMAZING.

I couldn’t believe that I met even one of them, and the fact that I met all three of them, in the span of a single year is…beyond mind-blowing. I feel so incredibly lucky. I never thought I could possibly meet David Tennant in my life, and had already bought my ticket to Emerald City Comic Con ahead of time, so when his name came up on the roster of Emerald City Comic Con…I think I may have screamed. After meeting him my mom said, “the only thing that could make this year better would be meeting Tom Hiddleston, am I right?” And I smiled and shrugged as if to say “yeah, but that’s never gonna happen.” Then….somehow….it did. And, if that wasn’t enough, I had been watching Jack going on tour, and desperately wanted him to come to Seattle, (and didn’t realize the plan for the different legs). Then he said he was coming to Seattle!! I had barely heard of PAX, so when I learned that not only was he coming to Seattle, but I might have the chance to meet him before the tour, I had to go for it. I was only able to get Friday tickets, and it was a complete gamble as to which day he would be autographing. And once again…it somehow happened.

After those experiences, the sheer luck of all three of them coming to Seattle in the same year, I was once again greeted with the idea that “Maybe this is Seattle’s way of saying goodbye to you.” And once again my immediate thought was “What the heck?!”

Now, I had heard of tumblr for many years before now. I’ve never been big on social media, but when I got a pinterest, I would see all the funny tumblr posts secondhand there. They always made me laugh out loud, but tumblr also always seemed like this… vulgar place. I had heard terrible stories from my real-life friends who were on tumblr about how unkindly they were treated here. I’m a very sensitive person, so after hearing all that I decided that joining tumblr was out of the question.

Still, as the years went by, and I learned more about it…it was one of the few social media sites that interested me. It seemed much more fandom-centric than anything else, and I was really interested in it. But also sad about how I didn't think i would be treated well here. 

Back to meeting Jack; had become a fan of Jack fairly recently, and didn’t have any memorabilia from him for him to sign at PAX. So when I found out that the day I was going WAS his autographing session, (after containing my joy) I had to scramble to find something for him to sign.

That’s how I met @jacksoopticboop. I went on etsy and found an art piece that made me cry the first time I looked at it. I had to get it. To have him sign it—(don’t worry Boop, I still plan on sending you a copy of the signed version…I’m so sorry it’s been taking me so long!!) I contacted her to make sure it would reach me in time and from then…we hit it off. We kept on talking through etsy, and email. Boop was the first person to tell me that she had NEVER received negativity on tumblr—at least, not the kind I was worried about. That, plus wanting to talk to her more, and already having been thinking joining tumblr for a while, I decided to finally take the plunge and join at the beginning of October this year.

When Boop was convincing me to join, she said that if I made a post saying I was new to the JSE community, she could guarantee I would get a positive response. And I honestly thought “That’s great but…can you really guarantee that??”

She could. I smiled more that first day on tumblr, when I made that post, and got lovely messages, than I had in a very long time.

However, as this was going on, it so happened that October was also when my dad found a new job…in Dallas Texas.

I won’t go into the details of the move as a whole, but we decided to take a motorhome trip down to Texas…which may well have been the worst decision of our lives.

Part of the reason we decided to do that was so we could make a bunch of fun stops on the way—brighten our stressful time.

1) ALL those stops were wiped out, because of timing, and fires in California.

2) We got in a car accident the day before thanksgiving.

3) The exact moment we arrived at our temporary housing, certain events led to my cat—my one hope, my best friend—dying.

I was completely lost. Still am, for the most part.

But I had you guys.

I firmly believe that my joining tumblr at the exact same time the move came was part of a plan from a higher source.

My friends were all at college, so I didn’t get to see them often anyways in my first gap year. But i knew that feeling alone was weighing on me, and if I didn’t have you during the move, as I am truly leaving everything I know behind…I honestly wonder if I would have made it. Those first few nights in Texas, after Granita’s (my cat) death….I honestly didn’t feel like life was worth living.

But I wasn’t alone. I could still talk to all of you.

When I first got into Jack’s videos was actually when I watched him play Getting Over It. I had already watched him play Undertale, and enjoyed it greatly, but I didn’t get into his channel just yet. I watched Dan and Phil play Getting Over It, and for some reason was interested in watching more, since they didn’t get far. I watched Mark throw a chair in rage….Then I watched Jack play it and…he was so different from everyone else. He smiled and laughed—and he made me laugh too. It can be somewhat difficult to get me to laugh out loud at things, but I knew his videos would continue to make me laugh, so I didn’t stop there, and I’m SO glad I didn’t.

Recently, in a “What is My Life?” style, my life has felt a lot like Getting Over It. But you guys have felt like Jack’s commentary in my life; you have given me reason to continue to laugh and smile, despite how much of a struggle the simplest things have become for me.

When I found out about the @jsecardexchange for December, I was so happy. I knew I desperately needed a little extra joy in a christmas where I wouldn’t get to see my grandparents, or snow, and I wish I could thank each and every one of you personally for your cards on here, but that would fill up the post…but please know that your cards saved me from so much sorrow.

I am so grateful to everyone in the JSE Community, you’ve become a family to me that I can turn to when I’m sad.

Some short-but-sweet personalized thank you’s for friends in the community:

@bucklethefckleup I’m so grateful we started talking. Our conversations have brightened my days!!

@jacksinsanity Once again, I will never forget how you were the first person to message me on here. I couldn’t believe that someone would message me directly, just to welcome me. You showed me the community's kindness in its purest form, and I so enjoyed getting to know you more recently, and would love to continue chatting with you!

@r-a-i-n-y-d-a-z-e Thank you so much for organizing the card exchange, and your personalized card was one of the highlights of my entire Christmas season!! I hope we can get to know each other better!!

I’m so glad that the PMA movement started this year, because I needed it this year more than ever. And you guys have embodied the movement for me in my everyday life. That first post I made when you all welcomed me was the start of something wonderful. So all I can say, is thank you.

Now, so far I’ve only talked about the JSE community…I haven’t forgotten about my friends from other communities!!

First of all, my real life friend @opheliaeee!! We’ve been through so much together. You’re one of the few people from high school i continue to talk to on a regular basis, and I’m so grateful. It’s been so helpful to be able to talk to someone who’s going through similar things that I am, and reading your writing continues to be such a delight!! 

Tangled has always been one of my all-time favorite disney movies. It was the kind of movie I never got tired of, and watched when I was sad (…speaking of, I should watch it again, it’s been a while…) I didn’t expect the series to be that good…then when it was…there was no going back.

I saw @kaede02mangaka ’s art all the time on pinterest, and loved it, but the fact that on here I could see your art right as it was posted, and not only talk to you, but have you tag me in your own posts, (like your new years one), just makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. On pinterest I could never hear from artist’s directly, or tell them how much I loved their art. You’re one of my favorites!! <3

While I’ve always written fanfiction, I was too scared of the internet’s negativity to post. This, and the fact I’m a bit of a stickler for canon, also meant that I didn’t really read fanfiction. But my friend @ophelieaeee convinced me to start posting at last…which also meant that I started reading. I looked up Tangled and one of the top fics that came up was one that had more kudos, comments, and hits than I had ever seen…this was, of course, @izadreamer ‘s Labyrinths of the Heart. Having just started out on Ao3, I couldn’t believe how someone could get so much publicity. I was skeptical a fic could be that good. Then I started reading…my jaw was on the floor. The characterization was perfect. The writing was phenomenal—so much so there were quotes that both stuck with me, and made me cry, in a way that happens with only the best of novels. I still have to catch up, and I’m sure there’s more amazingness to come, but whenever I think about the ending of chapter 5, I kind of have to sit there for a moment in silent reverence and be like…."that was one of the best things I’ve ever read in my life, let alone in just fanfiction.” Needless to say, I’m glad I found you. And reading your fics, and seeing that you were on tumblr certainly helped me to join tumblr too, and gave me positivity!! 

I am in a lot of fandoms, and I had to make sure I found blogs from all my favorite fandoms. Which meant that finding good Loki blog was important. It was surprisingly difficult for me to find a Loki blog that had what I wanted. (While I love Tom and Loki, most of the blogs I found were simply pictures of them, and I wasn’t super satisfied with that). But I came across one that was focused on theories an mythologies that I was deeply intrigued by…and it was @mylokabrennauniverse‘s. I forget what exactly got us directly talking, but I’ll never forget how on one of the nights I was in the motorhome crying, I got a mention from you…that you had given me a virtual hug. It’s such a small, almost silly thing, but I needed it so much. I was amazed that from the first moment of saying something to you, you were then willing to send me such positivity. If you told me by simply talking to you, I’d be able to join a Loki theory blog with you, and discuss in-depth theories with you and everyone there, I’m not sure I would have believed you, but I’m so glad that’s what happened. <3

And last, but certainly not least, Pandora Hearts.

It was a few years ago when I saw a little post about on pinterest about a show called Pandora Hearts, and decided to watch the anime. From then my life has never been the same. This was one of the first mangas I ever read, and some of the best memories of my life are from the first time I read it. I fell in love with the story, almost every single one of characters, but especially a man named Xerxes Break, whose struggles helped me understand and make it through my own.

But I had no one to talk to about the series.

And when I say no one, I mean no one.

I forced my friends to watch it, but even now, I still haven’t gotten them to finish the anime, or read it.

@xerxesbreakisbadass I’m sure you can attest to just how desperate I was to talk to someone when I first joined tumblr XD I’ll be forever grateful that you were willing to be my friend, and talk to me about the series!! 

@maddyisenough I’m so grateful that you contacted me a few months ago, and organized the phmonth18 and phsecretsanta events! I’ve written more in a single month because of these events than I have in a long time, and it helped me so much!! Feeling productive and creating things I’m proud of kept me from my sadness. Not just that, I have so enjoyed our conversations in general, reading each others fics, and coming up with fic ideas together!!! Here’s to a year filled with more fics and friendship!! 

@doodlesrune I love how you’re in so many of the same fandoms as me, and I enjoy talking with you—we should talk more!!

@almaadst Similar to what happened with Kaede, I saw your art on pinterest and I was like “My favorite boys together in one picture? UMM YES PLEASE” but I didn’t realize so much of the Break and Undertaker and Mephisto art I saw was all drawn by one person, or who that person was!! I was so happy when I found your blog , and then to have you thank me personally for the reblogs….once again, I’m blown away by the kindness of everyone on here. I still love your art, and have enjoyed chatting with you, and am so very excited to continue to work with you!!

@sanhatipal It’s been so fun discuss PH, Celtic Woman, and Fate—(let me tell you, I did not understand as much about the series as I thought I did before I met you XD)—with you, as well as see all the wonderful arts and crafts you make!!

@emily-cheshire Though we haven’t talked a whole lot, I always love seeing you interact with my posts, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you!!

@the-twisted-otaku Your ask was the first I ever received! I was so happy to hear someone liked my username, and its so cool that we love all the same characters! Im excited to continue to get to know you better, and read each other’s pics!!

@tabinotochuu We’re just starting to get to know each other, but chatting with you is lovely, and your secret santa gift has certainly been one of the highlights of my year!!

And last, but certainly not least, @song-of-amethyst. As you know, I’m the kind of person who is very detailed, and likes to overanalyze, and look in-depth into things. And no series do I currently do that more than my favorite: PH. As I said, I spent years with no one to talk to. I didn’t realize how much that weighed on me until joining tumblr. But even with fellow fans, finding someone who’s willing to have lengthly conversations about the series is difficult. Our conversations have been like a breath of fresh air for me; letting me talk as much, and as in-depth as I want, without fearing that my long responses are a burden to the other person, and receiving equally long and in-depth responses that make me think even MORE deeply about the series!!! Not only that, but, as I’m sure you know, getting people to read and comment on your fics is difficult. I’ve been so grateful for everyone who’s been willing to do that. But you have been reading my fics right as I post, and giving me nice lengthly comments that I cherish and look forward to so much!! So, once again, all I can say is thank you.

Thank you. Each and every one of you has brightened my life in some way, in one of the lowest points of my entire life. I cannot thank you enough. I am so beyond grateful that i joined tumblr, and met all you lovely people. It’s been the opposite of everything i thought it would be all those years ago. 

So this me saying farewell to a 2018 that was both one of the best years of my life, and the worst, and a welcome to 2019. Here’s hoping that it holds more of the better half!!

A very happy new year to each and every one of you!!!

#personal #2018 #year in review #jse community #jse fam #jse family #jacksepticeye community #jacksepticeye family #new year #happy new year #2019 #thank you

[e-one-seven]

Warning: this post is long. If you are interested on my theories on DST lore you can click on  “Keep reading” below. If you don’t you can skip it. This whole post is the ultimate evidence that studying Foreign Literature at university was a really bad idea as now I see hidden subtexts everywhere! And having had some years to work on this theory didn't help either... I will be happy to see it crushed by Klei guys themselves with the release of the actual lore in a few weeks, because they are up to something big and I'm ready to have my mind blown! 

I think it's time for me to confess a little Don't Starve Together headcanon of mine I never really revealed to anyone until now: I seriously think that Wilson might be Charlie and Winona's younger brother, or at least a younger half-brother. I am not saying this just because their haircuts bear some similarities. There are some serious clues in game leading to that direction, and I found basically no counterarguments strong enough to deny the theory. I don’t know if these are funny coincidences or not, but they were enough to fill more than four Words pages and I am not one to believe in coincidences.

So the evidences I gathered could be summed up like this:

Charlie and Wilson act like they know each other in A New Reign Cinematic; she is the Night Monster, so of course they know each other! However, why did she choose to set him free revealing her true form despite her wanting to hide it and why did she let Wilson live to tell the tale?

It is confirmed that Charlie has one sister, but there might be other siblings or family members no one mentioned yet. And thanks to the information released by Klei it is possible to confirm that Wilson is young enough to possibly be Charlie and Winona's brother;

There are clues that Winona might be born into a rich family she estranged herself from because of her lifestyle (and possibly guilt for Charlie's supposed demise); the same applies to Wilson too, though the reasons of his estrangement are not clear;

We still have no way to know exactly where all these characters are from exactly, but it is implied that Winona traveled through all the USA and that Wilson at least completed his education in the USA.

It is confirmed that Wilson is a European immigrant; if we take Charlie’s Rose species name in account, her and Winona could possibly be of Anglo-Irish descent.

Wilson and Shadow Charlie share a similar haircut (and so does Winona to a lesser extend); Winona and Charlie's face structure is similar and it looks totally different from Wilson's, but there is an example in game that blood relatives could not look like each other at all (Maxwell and Wendy).

Wilson's new darkness quote is very similar to one of Maxwell's quotes about Abigail.

Wilson seems to have personality traits and interests in common with both Charlie and Winona;

We were told that Winona went to the Constant to save someone: despite their relationships being known, Charlie and Robert Wagstaff might not be the person she was looking for, at least according to her original character quotes.

The explanations and the results of some researches I made to confirm or deny my theory are better expressed below divided in four parts.

1) A New Reign Cinematic

This less than two minutes cinematic is mute like almost every Don't Starve related animation, but it's so full of emotion it's simply beautiful. And it is the only time we can see Charlie being herself before becoming the Shadow Queen, so I watched it again and again, even slowed down so I could fully enjoy every seconds of it (and a lot of DST fellow fans out there probably did too).

I have to admit that I always had the impression that Charlie booped Wilson's nose before setting him free, and that was for sure a factor in developing this theory as you boop your boyfriend or your little brother's nose, not a unknown person you just met. But Wilson being Charlie's brother would explain why she chose to set him free in the first place: before Wilson there was Maxwell, and despite all the powers he gained by being the Shadow King him being trapped on the Throne was still a torture. Wilson did not want to become the new King and so he was desperately fighting against Them and their corruption. Charlie hates to be seen, yet she chose to reveal herself to Wilson and she became the new Queen to prevent him to become like herself and Maxwell and this is a thing that every good big sister would do for their little brother. Furthermore, Charlie had to muster some serious self-control before doing that stunt because I am seriously convinced that any other character in Wilson's place would have died there and then. Charlie was smiling at the beginning of the cinematic, but her eyebrows betrayed her being extremely worried too. When Wilson is not in the Throne Room anymore she is much more relaxed, because she did what she came for and Wilson survived: it doesn't matter what will become of her from then on, and maybe that factor made the fusion with her Shadow self possible.

And about Maxwell, I think that dragging her theoretical little brother in that hellish world where Charlie herself could be the cause of his death would be a more than valid reason for Charlie to hate Maxwell's guts even more than she did before. That could be the reason why Maxwell’s death caused by Darkness is listed as "Charlie" instead. I checked it, despite Winona is canonically able to recognize Charlie as the Darkness like Maxwell, her death cause is still listed as "Darkness". But it is impossible to tell if it is a developers' oversight.

2) What we know about their backgrounds

Digging into the William Carter Puzzles Charlie's ad requisition caught my curiosity. It says "should have a curious demeanor and a keen interest in the mysteries of the universe." This description could fit Wilson too. We know next to nothing about who Charlie used to be before she became the Night Monster, aside that she was William Carter's assistant and she cared a lot about him. In her letters Charlie mentions only one sister, Winona, because she frequently visited her (or, more likely, they lived together when she was not working with Maxwell). But frequent visits to her sister don't exclude the possibility of other relatives or siblings existing somewhere else. This happened in 1905 and Charlie disappeared the following year, exactly fifteen years before the events of Don't Starve in 1921. Charlie and Winona were young adults and they probably moved away from their family. According to Charlie's last letter her family owned a cabin used as holiday house in BC, implying that Charlie and Winona's birth family was been rich enough to afford a holiday house in the first place.

BC commonly stands for "British Columbia" in Canada, a popular place for a family to have a holiday cabin nowadays. But it can also stand for Bay City, Michigan. Bay City is located near Saginaw Bay on Lake Huron, so it could be a possible place to locate a holiday cabin for the family. For some bonus points, Bay City merged with West Bay City in 1905; West Bay City was created in 1877 from the union of the villages of Banks, Salzburgh and Wenona. Wenona is an alternative spelling of the name "Winona": if the Bay City theory is correct she might have been born during a time where the old name of the area could have been still used by population and her parents might have liked it enough to name their first daughter like the old village. I wanted to see if BC could have another meaning and that was the result. But it might be just a funny coincidence.

Back to the job question, Charlie actually replied for an application that actually has not a great paycheck (during that time most performers were barely able to sustain themselves and Maxwell himself got some debts during his first years) and that required a cultured person who knew how to appear in front of an audience: during that time having an education was still a luxury for wealthy families and same goes with clothes dapper enough to look good by Maxwell's side. Her Shadow Queen's form fancy dress seems to confirm this theory. So the only real reason she could need to work is her living really far away from her family and that required her to look for any kind of job to be able to survive for the long run.

What do we know about Wilson? As he is in his 30s in 1921, he was a likely teenager in 1906, and as Klei recently said, "maybe a European USA Immigrant? We never really picked a home land for him." Thinking about this last statement, we can say that during that time that description could fit basically most of the American population back in the 1920s. They actually said nothing. BUT, in 2014, a fan posted on Tumblr another message from Klei that gives us some interesting information: these are the evidences that despite it all it might be legit:

I checked on DS and DST credits, there really is a Jan Hatchings.

The first thing Jan says is that Klei prefers to be the fan finding out about the past of the characters exploring the game: a nice way to say they are not allowed to spill too many beans. (I want the character updates and the new characters! I want to know what they are hiding!)

He confirmed some information we already knew (Wilson being in his 30s, the game being set in early 1920s) adding that he was living in New England at the time of the trailer: New England is the Northeastern area of the United States, it is bordered with Canada, three of the most important colleges of the United States are there (Yale, Harvard and the MIT) and there are a lot of woods. The perfect area for a lonesome scientist to live in.

He mentions his family not wanting to talk to him;

Jan invites the person who originally shared the message to join the official forum.

So Wilson most likely completed his instruction in the United States or he sought affiliation with American colleges, and that would be weird for a person who grew up in the United Kingdom, as he would be already close to some of the most prestigious and oldest colleges and academic associations in the world. That's why I think the "immigration" part might mean that he was born into a British family immigrated in the US and he actually grew up in the United States (and maybe not even Klei knows if Wilson's family moved in before or after he was born). As he had a nanny as a kid and, as already pointed out, college education was something that only wealthy families could afford back then, we can assume Wilson was born into a rich family that for some reason moved to America.

Like BC, New England area is pretty popular for its holiday cabins so it makes sense for Wilson to have lived into one of them. He was isolated, yet possibly close to a scientific center of interest like a university. Even if he bought the house or someone else did it for him, for sure Wilson needed some money to live in there and being a Gentleman Scientist is a risky profession for a safe paycheck. Quoting Wikipedia:

"An independent scientist (modern gender-neutral term historically also known as gentleman scientist) is a financially independent scientist who pursues scientific study without direct affiliation to a public institution such as a university or government-run research and development body. [...] Most independent scientists have at some point in their career been affiliated with some academic institution, such as Charles Darwin, who was affiliated with the Geological Society of London. [...] Self-funding has the disadvantage that funds may be more restricted; [...] It also permits the scientist to have greater control over research directions, as funding bodies direct grants towards interests that may not coincide with that of the scientist. [...] Scientists may choose to work on unusual projects with high risk of failure also when the grant system does not fund them. A scientist could be attributed the status of independent scientist if they work on such projects during a gap between two academic positions, for example."

So Wilson being a Gentleman Scientist means that he was the one and only person who worked on his own projects with no external funds from government and scientific institutions. If his research failed he could have ended in some serious economic trouble. He might have had some help from universities, but that could have not be enough. But it makes sense for Wilson being a Gentleman Scientist if his parents died and he inherited their money or a part of it. That would make him economically independent enough to perform his experiments with no considerable help.

But then, if his parents are presumably dead, who is the family who doesn't want to speak to him? It would be easy to say that his extended family thinks him to be a mad scientist and decided they don't want to have nothing to do with him. But this doesn't deny the theory "Wilson is Charlie's brother": if we take this theory in account, his only currently known immediate family members are Charlie and Winona. Charlie was presumed dead in 1906, while Winona probably got estranged from her parents because of her lifestyle and maybe even accused to have caused her sister's death. Even if their parents are dead, why Winona should think that her brother would be different? To her he is just a spoiled child who attended a fancy university and that probably spends all the day talking nonsense with other eggheads. Also her constant moving through the country will make keep contacts really difficult, so she simply didn't. Sadly a lot of people do it for even pettier reasons.

And, for some bonus point, Wickerbottom recognizes Charlie's Rose as a "Rosa Macdub", or a "Dublin Bay climbing rose". A rich Irish family immigrating from a country where uprisings were a Tuesday for at least one century would make sense. And it would not even directly conflict with the theory as the richest families residing in Ireland were of English descent and all Ireland was a part of the United Kingdom until 1919. So despite Wilson being a perfect "British gentleman" kind of character, the possibility of Charlie and Winona being Irish or Anglo-Irish descent doesn't deny the theory. But I don't know if this could count as a clue about Charlie's family origin as the Dublin Bay climbing rose was actually bred for the first time in 1975 in New Zealand, with peculiar characteristics and resistance that make me think that they might be the reason for it to be chosen as Charlie’s symbol despite its anachronism. And just because of this the thing that concerns me more about this rose is not the possible reference to Charlie's birthplace, but an explanation of how Wickerbottom is able to recognize a flower from 1975 without knowing what is a license plate!

3) The similarities between the characters in game 

One of the things most evident in the cinematic was that Wilson and Charlie shared a similar haircut and hairline. Haircuts are not hereditary, but unmodified hairlines and hair textures are. Winona looks a lot like Charlie, but she doesn't resemble Wilson at all except their being two light skinned people with dark hair and solid black eyes in game. Also, Winona seems to have a different hairline than Wilson and Charlie when uncovered (except in the Gorge's vignette where she sports a small widow's peak), but the hairstyle is still similar to theirs, with only one "point" out of three. However, there are even deeper similarities between these characters: Charlie is the "bookworm" sister, interested in the "mysteries of the universe"; Winona hates books and prefers to work on her mechanical creations with a trial-and-error approach. And then there is Wilson, who sits perfectly in between these mindsets. That was one of the reasons why at first I was shocked by Winona when she was released: when I already suspected that Wilson and Charlie might be related it is revealed that Charlie's sister is a work-alcoholic engineer with a weird haircut and basically a female Wilson with a tape and the ability to dodge. (Piccolo approves.) Their similarities could be attributed to lazy developers, but what if that was actually a clue of them being actually related? Also, it is implied that Winona was grown up in a estranged wealthy family and it is confirmed that she dislikes fancy things and formalities: the same could be said about Wilson! Seriously, there are too many coincidences to be a random chance. (And that, ladies and gentlemen was the point where the theory became a full fledged headcanon. But I am not related to Klei in any way, so this is still the theory of a deluded fan that loves to make theories and Klei will destroy it in a few days with the new lore.)

And what about avoiding Charlie? Well, this could have a pretty simple explanation, reflected by their body shapes: Winona spent the last fifteen years of her life enduring all the kinds of manual jobs, so she actually gained some muscle mass and speed movement that she uses in game to avoid the attacks of her beloved sister. Not to mention that she seems to be closer to Charlie's age than Wilson is, so probably they spent some time playing together as kids (and probably back then Winona was the one winning the fight game). Wilson is more of a couch potato and according to the official timeline he is some years younger than Charlie and Winona. In case we take the theory "Wilson is Charlie's brother" in account, it means Wilson could not play with his older sisters like they used to do when they were younger and this causes him to be unable to dodge Charlie's attacks even if now he knows who is attacking him.

Another interesting possible clue is the new sentence Wilson says in DST when he is attacked by Charlie: "That presence... it's familiar! Hello?". Sure, he finally met her so he can recognize her presence... but the choice of words bears some uncanny resemblance to another quote from another character: "Hm? What a familiar presence." But maybe it's just another coincidence that this is almost the inversion of the words order of the sentence of a certain uncle recognizing the flower of his dead niece. Or I'm so into this theory that I'm seeing clues everywhere.

And for some more bonus point, look at Maxwell and Wendy in game: unless you know Don't Starve lore all you could say about them after looking at their designs and reading their quotes is "are these two guys in the same Shakespeare emo fanclub?" Their quotes have a similar dramatic tone, but there is almost nothing that suggests an actual family relationship between them. They don't even look anything alike!

4) The identity of the person Winona was trying to save

We were told from the beginning that Winona went into the Constant on her own because she wanted to save someone. We were also informed that she is Charlie's sister and she used to work for the Voxola Radio Company, so Charlie and Robert Wagstaff seem to be the only possible options as the person she was trying to save. Or aren't they?

As for Charlie, she disappeared in 1906 during a huge disaster that caused a lot of victims (the event overlaps with San Francisco's earthquake in 1906), and Winona came into the Constant fifteen years later. Probably on Earth Charlie was presumed dead and Winona went with it, as her quote of the Tragedy Marble Statue suggests ("We thought she was gone"). She grieved her but then she went on with her life. In 1919 she started to work for Wagstaff's Voxola until it burned down. However, unusually for a character who is supposed to be canonically playable only in the multiplayer version of the game, Winona has Adventure Mode related quotes that even got modified at some point. According to her original Adventure Mode quotes we can understand that she was actually shocked to find out that Maxwell's plots were behind Voxola's fire and Wagstaff's disappearance. Then Robert Wagstaff might not be the person Winona was looking for. Two years or more pass by and Winona joins the fun in the Constant, yet she never mentions her looking for someone, meaning that she already found the one person she was looking for. If this person is not Charlie or Wagstaff, who could they be? Wilson not only could be a valid answer, but if she knew where he lived and she found the Maxwell's Door inside his house she even had the mean to reach the Constant with no help at all!

But if they are estranged how did she know Wilson went missing? Well, some newspapers or radio transmissions might have announced his sudden disappearance, or the police went look for Winona because she might be the only family he has left. And the news did not leave her indifferent, so she went to his place looking for clues and found out about the Maxwell's Door. And for some bonus points, if Wilson left some notes behind (and he probably did as he used the typewriter when he was creating the portal during the cinematic!) she might have recognized something Charlie could have told her about fifteen years before that convinced her that Wilson was in trouble. So she activated the door. We know how it went.

#dont starve #dont starve wilson #dont starve charlie #dont starve winona #lore #headcanon #i need help #i need lore #why in heck did i check everything i could think of to confirm or deny this #because i need another hobby #I don't even know if it is intelligible #this is not canon #but includes real canon information

[myreveriesforyou-blog]

Stars in His Eyes

This is an imagine about Tom and the reader being just friends, but wanting to be something more than just friends. It's pure fluff and Tom is just the cutest human and I had to do it? I hope that you like it!

Author's Note: Hi guys, this is @reveriesforyou! I'm going to continue to post all my writing on this blog, so if you wanna read it, it'll all be here! I had to make a new tumblr account because my old one was a secondary blog and I couldn't interact with you guys the same way that I can now that this is my main tumblr blog. I really hope that I can keep in touch with the same people who would message me on there! I love all you guys and I'm sorry that I'm a dummy that can't work the internet lol

Stars in His Eyes

Tom kept his eyes trained on her while she wandered throughout the party with Laura. He knew that she would probably be safe because she was with their friend, but he just needed to make sure that nobody got too close to her and made her uncomfortable. Ever since Tom had known her, she had been almost painfully shy and had suffered from anxiety, especially in large crowds, so Tom just wanted to ensure that she was alright. She’d gotten swept away from him before, and Tom refused to lose her again.

    The beer bottle in his hand was freezing cold and he longed to hold her hands between his own to warm up. Tom wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked tonight in her little sundress, with her hair curled into soft ringlets that hung down her exposed back. Her lips looked like rosy, red pillows and her eyelids were painted a shimmery, champagne color. Her cheeks were blushing and Tom didn’t know how, but the light enveloped her entire body, so wherever she went, she shined like an angel. He wanted to tell her all these things and more, but instead, he’d kept his mouth shut the best he could.

    They weren’t together, they were merely friends. But, that being said, they were friends who brought each other hot drinks on cool days. They were friends who lent each other coats and snuggled together under blankets. They were friends who shared food off of the same plate and who held hands to cross the street. They were friends who fell asleep on the couch together while they stayed up all night watching films. They were friends who longed to be more.

    Looking back over her shoulder, she glanced back to where Tom, Jacob and Harrison stood, their backs leaned up against a wall. She prayed Tom wouldn’t see her as her eyes flicked over his frame.

    He looked so good, the best, she pondered. His jeans fit him impeccably and she wondered who’d helped him pick them out, because surely they deserved an award, and the buttons of his shirt strained against the broadness of his chest, forcing the lines of definition hidden beneath to be showcased to their fellow party-goers.

    “Hey,” Laura’s sudden voice called out, cutting into her fantasy of simply walking up to Tom, and yanking him down to kiss her. “Let’s get another drink, yeah?”

    Nodding her head, the girls rejoined hands and did their best to push through the crowded living room and into the kitchen to refill their cups.

    Jacob nudged Tom’s shoulder when he saw that his friend’s attention was focused entirely on her retreating frame through the kitchen’s door. “Dude, this has to stop. You look like her stalker or some shit.”

    Harrison snorted into his beer before agreeing, “Yeah, mate. It’s too much, if someone didn’t know the two of you, they’d probably fear for her life.”

    Tom scoffed, shaking his head before taking a gulp of beer. “That’s not, I’m not, it’s not, it’s fine. Everything is fine. I’m just making sure that she’s- fuck, I mean they’re, okay.”

    “For sure, dude, for sure.” Jacob said, making a point to roll his eyes. “Why don’t you just chug your beer, walk into the kitchen, and ask her out? You want to date her, and you’ve got to know that she wants to date you too.”

    “I just,” Tom paused, diligently attempting to think of something eloquent to say, “I just don’t wanna do anything that is going to make her feel like it’s all going to fast. I heard her talking to Laura yesterday about how she thinks that the sweetest relationships are the ones that have had the most time to build themselves up.”

    “Dude, you guys have had nearly a year to build up your relationship.” Harrison commented, shaking his head. “You’re both just looking for excuses to stay the same way.”

    Tom did his best to ignore Harrison’s comment. He wasn’t not asking her out because he wanted their relationship to become totally and completely immobile, he wasn’t asking her out because he was scared that he would fuck everything up. Little did he know, she and Laura were having a similar conversation, but theirs was over glasses of pink wine.

    “Tom looks to pretty right now,” She sighed dreamily. “He looks like Prince Philip brought to life. Too bad I’m not Sleeping Beauty.”

    “If we keep drinking, we may as well be.” Laura giggled. “But seriously, what’s wrong with asking him out on a date? Y’all text all the time, you even speak on the phone, come to think of it, I can’t even recall a time where you guys haven’t been talking.”

    “He’s just everything to me, I don’t know what I would do if he were to go away forever, you know? I can’t imagine waking up, knowing that he’s no longer apart of my life. He’s too important to me to risk it all for a relationship that may or may not work out.” She said, picking off her nail varnish.

    “I know he’s important to you, but you must realize how important you are to him? He looks at you with stars in his eyes, and if you say that they’re just naturally twinkly, I swear to God.” Laura threatened.

    Laura had met her in a thrift store and the pair had bonded over their love of cute, vintage, high-waisted mom jeans. They wandered through the entire store together, exchanged numbers and hung out twice before she had accidentally revealed what a massive Spider-Man fan she was.

    When Laura had brought her onto set, she and Tom melded together and into one. Nobody knew quite what it was,but it was like the invisible hand of fate kept throwing them together.

She literally bumped into him the first time they met. Tom had held her in his arms longer than what would be deemed polite, and they had just stared at each other, completely mesmerized by the face in front of them. Then, Tom bumped into her at the craft service table, and then she ran into him as she was leaving the set. Again, the light of day seemed to melt into a faint dusk before he let her go. Then, for weeks later, Tom pestered Laura for her number. He needed to know her.

Now, after spending the summer, autumn, winter and spring together, Tom definitely knew her. He understood her, she littered all of his thoughts and his actions, and she very well could be likened to stars in his own, personal night sky.

After another two glasses of wine, she was absorbed by thoughts of Tom and wanted nothing more than to be curled up on his lap like a cat while he combed his fingers through her hair. Hiccuping her way out the door, she called out to Laura, “I’m gonna do, it’ll be done, and it’ll be by me. He’ll be done by me in the ways of asking out, and then everything will be like ‘Penelope,’ and he’ll kiss me, but I don’t have a pig’s nose?”

Laura rushed to her friend, hugging her into her arms, “You’re gonna do so great! He’s going to love you, and you’re going to be in love, and then everyone is going to say I told you so! Get out there and do it!”

Her legs wobbled as she parted groups of people in an attempt to find Tom. When she finally spotted him, she waved and called for his attention. “Tom, I found you! I got something in my mouth for you, to say to you!”

Tom raised his eyebrows as he placed his beer on the table and began to make his way over to her. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he said, “Jeez, darling, how drunk are you?”

Tucking her head beneath his chin and curling her fingers into the fabric of his shirt, she replied, “Oh, I’m not drunk at all! I’ve only had a few, actually a few means a small number of, and Laura and I finished a bottle and a half of wine, so i guess that would be more of a dyad of drinks?”

Tom called out to Harrison and Jacob, motioning for them to grab Laura from the kitchen so they could all head back home. Judging by her level of intoxication and description of how much the girls had to drink, Tom figured that this is when the party should end for them.

Guiding her out the door with a firm hand around her waist, he felt one of her hands stroke across his cheeks. “You’re so pretty.” She said, fingers still gliding over his skin.

Tom chuckled, she always got this way when she had too much to drink. “No, you’re so pretty. In fact, you’re prettier than all the princesses in the whole, wide world.”

“Laura and I were talking about you tonight. I think you look like Prince Philip and she thinks that I should ask you out. What do you think?” She asked when they’d finally felt the air’s cool breath fan across their faces.

“I think you’re drunk and talking shit.” Tom said, blowing on his hands and rubbing them up and down her arms while she leaned into his chest, fully supported by his touch.

“No, I am not!” She gasped out childishly. “I’ve been wanting you since the summer. Wanting, waiting, but you,” She booped  him on the nose, “Have yet to give me a sign. Why haven’t you given me a sign? I wanna be with you, don’t you wanna be with me? Laura thinks you do.”

Tom shook his head and mumbled a quiet, “Let’s talk when you’re sober, baby. You don’t know what you’re talking about right now.”

He glanced down at the girl’s head that rested on his shoulder, and he felt her eyelashes tickling his skin. Tom wanted to believe he felt the love in her words, but he was afraid that it was just the wine he smelt on her breath. He decided that he would wait until morning, and maybe then some, to ask her what she meant.

The night sky may as well be colored in completely charcoal if she were to walk out of his life. His night sky would be no more, and all he’d have to remember her by would be a black hole.

#tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland oneshot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #spiderman #spider-man homecoming

[mittensmorgul]

5.14:

Same, Cas. Same.

Lizbob was laughing at me earlier because I’m in the middle of this seemingly long stretch of episodes that involve Major Fandom Disagreements. And this is one of them. Because of this ^^

Under a cut because JIMINY CHRISTMAS THIS ONE GOT LONG...

(read more excised due to tumblr being shifty)

I will preface this episode review post with this disclaimer: CASTIEL’S LOVE OF CHEESEBURGERS IN THIS EPISODE IS NOT “PROOF” THAT JIMMY’S SOUL WAS STILL IN CASTIEL’S VESSEL AFTER 4.22.

Because everything else about s5 DISPROVES that Jimmy’s soul was still in there. I mean, if you believe that Cas being blown up by Lucifer in 5.22 was what “killed” Jimmy and sent his soul to Heaven, then why wouldn’t Cas being killed IN THE EXACT SAME FASHION by Raphael in 4.22 have done the same? You can’t have it both ways. Either being torn apart on a molecular level by an archangel kills a vessel or it doesn’t. If it does, Jimmy died in 4.22. If it doesn’t, then HE SHOULD STILL BE IN THERE, BUT CAS SAID DEFINITIVELY THAT HE’S BEEN IN HEAVEN FOR YEARS.

Since 4.22.

But, you might say BUT THEN WHY WOULD CAS HAVE BLAMED HIS HUNGER FOR RED MEAT ON HIS VESSEL? NAME CHECKING JIMMY SPECIFICALLY?!

Uh, angels aren’t incapable of lying, or deflecting the truth. And EVERYTHING about Cas’s body language in that scene screams prevarication.

Castiel: It's my vessel -- Jimmy. His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect.

Dude’s shifty as FUCK okay? He doesn’t want to admit how “human” he was becoming, cut off from Heaven. He spent all of s5 in a slow slide from grace. He couldn’t heal Bobby in 5.02, he couldn’t hunt Raphael alone in 5.03, he couldn’t smite Meg in 5.10, in 5.13 booping Sam and Dean back in 1978 nearly kills him, in 5.16 he’s reduced to trying to communicate with Dean in heaven via radio and a tv, and after 5.18 he’s rendered utterly human AND BRAIN DEAD FOR A TIME. I mean, he’s forced to use a GUN in 5.21 and a holy oil molitov in 5.22 because he’s just got no juice left. None. BUT IF HE’S NOT AN ANGEL THEN WHAT THE HELL IS HE?! He is terrified, that’s what. And this is his version of Denial.

He can’t even look at Dean when he says it. He’s been staring at Dean wide eyed up to this point, but when Dean questions it, he looks down at the burger, hesitates, and then blames his vessel as he BODILY TURNS AWAY FROM DEAN because he is so far in denial...

Okay, for those who don’t believe that and will only take Word Of God (aka authorial intent) as proof? BEN EDLUND SAID THE SAME DAMN THING:

“I always reserve in Castiel’s overall makeup the fact that there is an aspect of him that is purely flesh and purely human, which can function as it did in an episode before as a real Achilles’ heel, when he started to eat meat, because he just loved red meat. He couldn’t stop himself.”

I.e., THAT WAS ALL CAS. In his very own human body, with his very own human desires and feelings and tastes and vulnerabilities.

Castiel: I've developed a taste for ground beef. Dean: Well, have you even tried to stop it? Castiel: I'm an angel. I can stop anytime I want.

BUT HE VERY CLEARLY COULD NOT STOP. So what does that mean about the rest of his argument there-- that because he was an ANGEL he could stop whenever he wanted.

(insert “he’s no angel” tag here)

Okay, now that we have that all squared away, on with the fun!

*pushes play*

*regrets pushing play while watching a couple literally eat each other to death*

It’s Valentine’s day, and Dean and Sam have no real leads on the case, but Sam expects Dean to go out to celebrate Unattached Drifter Christmas. But Dean’s “not feeling it.”

SAM That's when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong. DEAN Remarkably patronizing concern duly noted. Nothing's wrong. We gonna work or what?

Dean doesn’t acknowledge that anything is wrong, because he feels... fine. I mean, he’s not troubled about anything. He’s not feeling the need to Perform anything.

Like in 12.18 we’ve been talking about how Dean uses sex as a coping mechanism. How he’s used alcohol, fighting, hunting even, not to mention LITERAL medications to self-medicate. Those are his go-to self-soothing things.

So if Famine blows into town and magnifies everyone’s desires, makes them “rabid” for the things they want-- like the cupid’s couple who were so starved for physical affection they tried to consume one another, like the second couple in the office who wanted to be Everything And All to each other without anything ever coming between them and ended up in a suicide pact so nothing would ever come between them again--

(JIM I don't know, baby. Seems like whatever we do, something in life is always gonna keep us apart-- Work, family, sleep .JANICE Now prison, maybe...JIM Maybe. But I think I have an idea...How we can stay together...forever...)

Like Cas giving in to his VERY HUMAN HUNGER for cheeseburgers (I miss you PB&J), and Sam giving in to his lust for demon blood... DEAN WAS NOT UNAFFECTED BY FAMINE.

It’s what Dean was literally starving for-- to be whole, to not NEED any of his coping mechanisms, to be able to drop the performance and just BE himself. Of course Famine would see it this way:

FAMINE:  That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex. DEAN Oh, you're so full of crap. FAMINE Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already...dead.

The smirking and joking? That’s Performing Dean. The “empty” bit isn’t Dean being “dead inside,” but the part of Dean that can reject the performance, that doesn’t NEED to be “filled,” because it’s already at peace with itself.

I am sort of skipping around here a bit... back to the morgue. Dean is amused by the coroner dude. So am I. That doesn’t bode well for the dude. The life expectancy of side characters who Dean finds amusing (like the guy Dean likes because he says “okey dokey”) usually drops to around zero.

Ew, Dean.

But the heart is the key, Sam recognizes the Enochian letter on it, so Dean calls Cas.

I don’t know what’s come over me. I don’t usually infuse these things with a lot of pics and gifs, but I like this episode. (ง’̀-‘́)ง

I think part of it lies in this significant thing that has also been a theme during s12 (and even during s11):

The DIFFERENCE between Sam’s reaction and Dean’s reaction to Cas.

When Cas asserts that a cupid has gone rogue and they have to stop him before he kills again... I mean, someone please offer me a non-desitel-related explanation for this difference, because I can’t find one anywhere.

(I am not actually soliciting non-destiel readings of this scene. I truly do not care about non-destiel readings of this scene. I’m just being hyperbolic)

But aside from the fact that everyone is in agreement about the cupid’s “handshake” technique

what do we really learn from meeting this particular cupid?

DEAN Why does heaven care if Harry meets Sally? CUPID Oh, mostly they don't. You know, certain bloodlines, certain destinies. Oh, like yours. SAM What? CUPID Yeah, the union of John and Mary Winchester--Very big deal upstairs, top priority arrangement. Mm. DEAN Are you saying that you fixed-up our parents? CUPID Well, not me, but... Yeah. Well, it wasn't easy, either. Ooh, they couldn't stand each other at first. But when we were done with them--Perfect couple. DEAN Perfect? CUPID Yeah. DEAN They're dead! CUPID I'm sorry, but... the orders were very clear. You and Sam needed to be born. Your parents were just, uh...meant to be. (sings) A match made in heaven- heaven! (Dean punches Cupid)

So heaven wanted John and Mary to get together. After 5.13 and what Michael told Dean about his “destiny,” this just adds another horrifying layer to all of that. Because “Destiny” was being rigged by heaven. Angels literally were the “agents of fate,” pulling every cosmic string to get all the pieces to line up exactly to bring on the apocalypse.

HORRIFYING.

John and Mary couldn’t stand each other at first, until the event Dean described in 12.01 about how John and Mary started dating?

Dean: Dad told me. March 23, 1972 you walked out of a movie theater, Slaughterhouse-Five, you loved it. And you bumped into a big marine and knocked him on his ass. You were embarrassed and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So you went to, uh, Maroni's, and you talked and he was cute, and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number you gave it to him even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that you met-

So they couldn’t stand each other BEFORE this intervention by the cupid, who probably shoved the two of them into each other right there...

Like the instant change of heart that came over the two dudes in the bar in 8.23 after the cupid touched them. EVEN DEAN NOTICED THE CHANGE IN THEM.

Okay, back to the show, slightly out of order again, because I keep pausing it to go on mental tangents... I’m not constrained by the time limits of the TNT loop. Hooray for Blu-Rays. :P

*Dean absolutely COVERS his burger in ketchup, just like he does in 12.18, but here in 5.14 he doesn’t have an appetite for it. He’s not trying to “fill the void” inside himself. Instead, Cas takes his burger... like Dean eventually does to Cas’s burger in 10.09... but Cas doesn’t even get a bite before he spots the cupid and chases him down*

*the cupid hugs the crap out of Dean, then Cas, then Sam, then Cas makes him cry, then Dean punches him, and Cas tells Dean he hurt the cupid’s feelings... :P*

*have I mentioned how much I love this episode?*

SAM You just punched a Cupid! DEAN I punched a dick! SAM Um...Are we gonna talk about what's been up with you lately or not? DEAN Or not.

(something finally required Dean “self-medicating”, finally shattered the relative Calm he’d achieved so far this episode, and he lashed out)

*blah blah blah Famine blah blah I already covered the rest of this in the first section of this post...*

Sam doesn’t hunger for the blood itself, but for the power it gives him.

Just like Dean doesn’t hunger for food or sex or alcohol or violence. They’re just tools to help him manage. They are a performance.

I mentioned this in another review recently... maybe even the one for 12.10, but this is the EXACT scene Sam lampshaded for us outside the diner. In 5.14:

DEAN Demons. You want to go over the plan again? Hey, happy meal. The plan? CASTIEL I take the knife, I go in, I cut off the ring hand of Famine, and I meet you back here in the parking lot. DEAN Well, that sounds foolproof. (Castiel disappears) This is taking too long. (Dean gets out of the car)

Dean gave Cas like TEN WHOLE SECONDS before he decided it was taking too long. And he was right to be worried. Cas was completely overcome by Famine.

And in 12.10, after Cas goes into the diner alone, Dean is pacing grumpily for maybe a minute or two before Sam mutters under his breath:

SAM: And you're gonna storm in right... now. 

Sam knows.

But Famine here gives Sam and Dean VERY SIMILAR ASSESSMENTS of themselves, yet puts Sam’s situation in a “positive” light and Dean’s in a “negative” light... because he is bound to Lucifer. He’s “fattening Sam up” for Lucifer. He doesn’t care one jot about Dean. What for Dean was a vast void of emptiness that he’d never be able to fill (dead inside!) for Sam is a blessing for the exact same reason. Context matters...

FAMINE Stop! No one lays a finger on this sweet little boy. Sam, I see you got the snack I sent you. SAM You sent? FAMINE Don't worry. You're not like everyone else. You'll never die from drinking too much. You're the exception that proves the rule. Just the way...Satan wanted you to be. So... (Famine lifts his hands and gestures at the demons guarding him)...cut their throats. Have at them!

Sam gets ONE GLORIOUS VICTORY here, but it came at the price of him giving in to his hunger for power:

FAMINE I'm a Horseman, Sam. Your power doesn't work on me. SAM You're right. But it will work on them. (Sam uses his power to rip out all the souls Famine consumed)

So he has to be locked in detox again. At the very end, we finally see a crack in Dean--

CASTIEL That's not him in there. Not really. DEAN I know. CASTIEL Dean, Sam just has to get it out of his system. Then he'll be-- DEAN Listen, I just, uh...I just need to get some air. [Dean goes outside and looks up at the sky] DEAN Please...I can't...I need some help. Please?

Praying to God for help, Dean? When you had an angel by your side a moment ago who was more than willing to help? Right, Famine’s influence is gone. Your Calm Center is gone too. You can’t let yourself feel okay with Cas anymore. Not to mention a part of his “peacefulness” throughout the episode was due to Sam being “okay.” And he’s so not okay right now...

What is Dean’s hunger? Not to be hungry for anything. To have Cas by his side (though maybe not on a burger binge), to have Sam happy and healthy and whole-- and wholly human. To know they’re all working together. To trust them both completely and have them trust him in return.

ETA: Because Heck while rereading this I forgot: It’s been said plenty of times before, but this is also a huge part of why Sam controls everything he eats. BECAUSE HE NEEDS THAT CONTROL. It’s self-medicating the same way Dean’s self-medicating with what HE can control for himself.

I think a lot of both Sam’s performance of “normality” and Dean’s Performing Dean persona are coping mechanisms, and are rooted in the very same need to have any sort of control over their lives.

#spn 5.14 #s12 meta rewatch #are you an angel or a man castiel? (hint: he's no angel) #you learned it from the goats #actual quote i just used elsewhere: Damn Ben Edlund #performing dean #castiel winchester #angels and vessels #angels and souls #spn 5.13 #spn 12.01 #spn 12.18 #spn 10.09 #spn 12.10