#BUT i did like 2/3 of my run by that point so its better than i hoped for

[jumpingalpacas]

im finally past jogging and my body can stand running at an actual running pace but i just need my shitty asthmatic lungs on the same page as my other muscles

#had a terrible pain in my side yesterday but today just a dull ache so i had to stop slightly early #BUT i did like 2/3 of my run by that point so its better than i hoped for

[forzalando]

Seeing Someone

Lando Norris x friend!reader (female reader)

summary: Lando is finally ready to tell you how he feels when he overhears you say that you've started seeing someone - but overheard conversations aren't always what they seem. wc: 5.5k author's note: a few disclaimers: 1. let's all pretend that everyone has to spend a few weeks at MTC before the start of the season and they commute to/from London. 2. therapy and mental health help are so important - i purposefully left some things vague because people go to therapy for a variety of reasons and it should be normalized! i also didn't want things to get too heavy or potentially upset anyone by choosing to elaborate on something they relate to/hits a little too close to home. 3. this was inspired by a post i saw on my dash that said "when you said you were seeing someone i was hoping you meant a therapist". this originally started out more light-hearted, but the angst came out and i couldn't stop. feeling a little insecure about this one - thoughts and feelings in the comments/reblogs/my inbox would be so cherished and appreciated :) once again, special shoutout to @sof1shticated for being my beta reader. couldn't do this without you, Mel! warnings: mentions of reader going to therapy, mentions of reader drinking, a few curse words (i think), and angst! but there is a happy ending (even if it's a little open-ended)

Lando had searched the entirety of McLaren HQ at this point and started to worry – you were quite literally nowhere to be found. Usually, this wouldn’t phase him, since you were notorious for getting distracted or caught up in conversation with everyone you came across. You especially found ways to delay leaving MTC when you had to be there physically – the commute from HQ back to London each day was objectively the worst part of everyone coming together in the weeks leading up to each new season.

Today, however, the two of you had plans to get dinner at your favorite restaurant in London and you would never miss a chance to devour your favorite scallop risotto, cheese garlic bread, several glasses of wine, and a heaping mound of tiramisu for dessert.

He stopped speed-walking abruptly when he saw a familiar head of brown hair out of the corner of his eye.

“OSCAR,” Lando shouted, his speed-walk turning into a run. “Oscar, have you seen Y/N? She told me to meet at her office at 5:00pm but it’s 5:30pm and she is literally missing. She better have a good excuse, I hate being late.”

“Missing? Are you sure she’s not just caught up in a meeting? I saw her heading to Zak’s office around 4:45pm, did you check there?”

“Zak’s office, of course! The one place I didn’t check. Thanks, Osc, you’re the man.”

Oscar rolled his eyes – “Anytime, Lan. What are you running late for? Hot date?”

Lando didn’t miss the wiggle of Oscar’s eyebrows and slight smirk. It wasn’t a secret to the Australian that Lando had a crush on Y/N – although Lando had never confirmed or denied it, it was pretty obvious to anyone who spent more than 30 seconds around them.

“Ah, something like that,” Lando said nonchalantly, a bashful blush making its way to his cheeks.

“Good luck, mate!” Oscar threw a wave over his shoulder as he heard the retreating sound of Lando’s trainers smacking against the floor.

In truth, although you and Lando were just friends and Lando was terrified he may ruin that, he had plans to tell you about his feelings for you that night at dinner. It had been almost a year since you started working for McLaren, and almost a year of Lando pining after you in secret. He spent most days trying to convince himself he was content just being your friend, but he was determined to make 2024 his year. His first win, hopefully of many, maybe even WDC contender material, and finally plucking up the courage to be honest with you.

As Lando hurriedly approached Zak’s office, he could see that the door was slightly ajar and heard your voice trailing through the opening.

“I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, Zak. And a massive thank you for approving the time off on such late notice.”

“Anytime, Y/N, you know you’re like family to me and everyone here. You sure you’re ok?”

“Yes, I’m seeing someone. It’s still new so I’m not set on him yet but I have a really good feeling about it, I’m really starting to wish I had called him sooner. He actually suggested the days off, I’m seeing him on Tuesday and hopefully things continue to go well.”

Lando’s heart dropped to his stomach – all week he had been thinking about tonight. How to tell you, how you might react, how nervous he was, and each day he grew even more anxious. He was panicking – what was he supposed to do? How could he sit across from you all night knowing that he’d missed his chance?

“That’s so good to hear,” Zak said earnestly. “Keep me updated and enjoy your days off.”

Lando could hear chairs scraping and scrambled to leave the scene before you walked out of Zak’s office to find him eavesdropping. He got about 50 feet down the hallway before he heard your voice from behind.

“Lan,” you shouted. “I’m so sorry, I’m totally late but I had to meet with Zak about something and his last meeting went way over.”

You jogged a little to catch up to him – a bright smile on your face that made his heart rate skyrocket and his palms grow sweaty. He couldn’t see you feeling like this. Not tonight, not when he could barely keep himself from telling you that he would be a much better boyfriend than whoever you were dating.

“We still on for dinner? I grabbed everything I needed from my office before I met with Zak so if we leave right this second and ignore the speed limit, they may seat us,” you bumped his shoulder as you joked.

Unable to help himself, only thinking about how hurt he was even though you’d done nothing wrong, Lando blurted out an excuse. “Actually, I was trying to find you to tell you I can’t make it.”

He tried not to react when he saw your face fall a little, but he told himself it was because you were disappointed about the last-minute change in plans and not that he wasn’t going.

“You should still go though,” he offered quickly. “I’m sure you have someone you could take with you!”

Your eyes spotted Oscar across the hallway and you smiled slightly – it had been a while since you had spent time with him and you knew he was having a rough week.

“Yeah, I have someone in mind,” you mused, focusing your eyes back on Lando. “Is everything ok? Are you not feeling well?”

“No, I’m fine, I just forgot I have plans.”

“Well, we had plans. You scheduled over me?”

“It’s a last-minute thing. Date thing. Last-minute date thing.”

“Oh,” you gasped. “Oh, that’s great!” You plastered a fake smile on your face – hoping that he was just as oblivious now as he apparently is to your feelings. “I hope you have a great time, she’s a lucky girl! I’ll see you on Wednesday, I’m taking a couple days off!”

Before he had a chance to say anything else, you sped off in search of Oscar to bribe him to accompany you to dinner. While you set off across the room, Lando smacked himself in the forehead and groaned.

“Why did you tell her it was a date, you idiot,” he mumbled to himself. Now, it was his turn to speed walk through McLaren HQ, but if he had turned around just for a moment, he would have caught you stopped in your tracks staring at him longingly as he walked away.

You shook your head and sighed, continuing your quest to find the younger McLaren driver and rope him into an evening filled with good food and, if you were being honest with yourself, probably a few tears.

A few moments later, you spotted floppy brown hair bouncing as Oscar walked toward the employee parking lot.

“Oscar!” You yelled after him, increasing your pace to catch up to him.

“Hey,” he said, confusion evident on his face, “I thought you were going out with Lando?”

“He’s got a date,” you blurted. “He has a date and he canceled on me and it’s fine. I am fine. But I want my scallop risotto and tiramisu so you’re coming with me.”

“Sure, Y/N, lead the way.”

Oscar was, to put it extremely lightly, confused. Lando was completely enamored by you – anyone with eyes could see it. Oscar was wholly convinced that Lando was going to officially ask you out at dinner tonight, especially after the brief conversation they had while you were late to meet up with him.

Yet, here he was, sat across from you in a dimly lit room as you sipped on your third glass of wine and, with all the subtlety of a neon sign, wiped a tear from your lower lash line.

“It’s not that I’m not happy for him, I’m so happy for him. But canceling last minute is a dick move, right? It’s a dick move. I know I’m just his friend, sometimes I feel like just a colleague, but I’m not being dramatic, right?”

Oscar stared at you blankly – his eyes wide and a look of pure fear on his face. He considered himself good at most things, great at quite a few, but comforting a crying woman was bottom of the list of Oscar Piastri’s skills.

“It’s totally a dick move,” he nodded his head eagerly in agreement. “I just don’t get it – when I saw him earlier he was frantic trying to find you. I think he’d scoured the entirety of MTC, he was out of breath when I found him.”

“Well, at least he had the decency to find me and tell me in person that he planned on ditching me.”

“Yeah, but that’s just it, it didn’t seem like he was trying to find you to tell you that. He complained about being late and when I asked him if he had a hot date, he blushed.”

“He is literally on a hot date.”

“Ok, well, when I asked him I meant did he have a hot date specifically with you.”

You scoffed and set your glass down – as much as you loved Oscar and you knew he’d never judge you, if you had any more wine you’d end up sobbing and not just wiping stray tears away.

“As if! Lando has never once made a move on me even though I flirt, or at least try to flirt, with him any chance I get.”

“You flirt with Lando?”

“I made him a personalized Spotify playlist, had Stroopwafels overnighted to him from The Netherlands after Vegas, bought him a sweater for his birthday with a card that said ‘to match your eyes’, and I compliment him every time I see him.”

“That’s your idea of flirting?”

“Well, yes.”

“Y/N, that’s just being nice to people. You’re nice to everyone. Lando is not going to understand that you’re a little extra nice to him and that means you’re trying to woo him.”

You huffed and slumped in your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. “Ok, well, how would you flirt with Lando?”

“Did you seriously just ask me that question?”

“Yes because apparently you know all about flirting! And by the way, Logan thought I was coming onto him when I was just being nice so some people would consider my actions flirtatious.”

“That doesn’t count, Logan thinks Uber drivers are flirting with him when they say ‘have a nice day’.”

You and Oscar shared a laugh at the mention of your mutual friend – somehow an even more hopeless case than you in the world of romance.

Your laughs turned to giggles and eventually died down completely. A sigh climbed its way out of your throat, the sudden change in your mood evident to Oscar.

“It doesn’t matter anyway – he’s seeing someone so no more trying, and according to you failing, to flirt.”

“You don’t know how serious it is, maybe this was a first date and it’ll go horribly. He definitely doesn’t have a girlfriend if that’s what you’re worried about, he was just saying the other day that Lily and I make him feel painfully single. We can ask him about it on Monday!”

You frowned a bit and tried to recover, but Oscar noticed the way your face fell slightly. “I’m actually taking a few days off, I need some personal time. I won’t be back at MTC until Wednesday.”

“Is everything ok? You don’t have to tell me but if you need anything, you know I’m there for you, right?”

You smiled at Oscar – it was a rare thing to find such great friends in the people you worked with, but you got so incredibly lucky with the McLaren team, especially Lando and Oscar. “I know that, Osc. You’re a gem.”

With a nod of understanding, Oscar changed the subject to something more pleasant, and you enjoyed the rest of your evening with your friend.

When Wednesday morning rolled around, you felt like your stomach might explode from nerves. You had resisted texting Lando over the past few days to ask about his date, you didn’t want to seem too eager and hoped it would come up naturally in conversation during the day. You hadn’t talked to Oscar much, though he’d texted you a few times to check in, but you wondered if he had talked to Lando at all and if he had details on how well Lando’s date went.

You arrived at MTC fairly early, hoping to get a head start on your day. Winter break was nearly over, and you were swamped with finalizing everything for the start of the 2024 season. It wasn’t until lunch that you saw Lando at all and he just so happened to be waiting in your office, sitting comfortably in your chair, while you were walking back from your latest meeting.

“Lando! What are you doing here?”

“I, uh,” he scrambled. “I was just…I don’t know really. I guess I wanted to see you, we haven’t talked in a few days since you’ve been out.”

“Well, we’ve both been busy. You could’ve texted me. How was your date?”

“It was good. Great. How about yours?”

You smiled remembering your evening with Oscar, assuming he had told Lando at some point that he had accompanied you. “Honestly so fun, we had the best time. I hope we get to do it again soon.”

Lando cringed – jealousy rearing its ugly head as he looked down at his feet before answering. “Same, I’ll probably go out with her again this weekend.”

“Good for you,” you gritted. “I’m glad you had fun. I actually have a million things to do so if there’s nothing important…”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. Just wanted to see you. I guess we’ll catch up soon? Hope you enjoyed your days off.”

Mustering up a fake smile, you told him definitely, awkwardly standing as he rose from your desk and left your office. As soon as he was far enough away that he couldn’t hear you, you groaned. The tension between you and Lando was unbearable, though you didn’t understand why it seemed to mostly be coming from him. Before you had a chance to think any further, you could hear your phone buzzing from inside your bag and begrudgingly pulled it out to see a text from Oscar.

did you go on a date over the weekend?

no? why are you asking me that?

well then why did lando just sit across from me and say ‘did Y/N tell you anything about her date?’

he was just in my office, I asked him how his date went and he asked about ‘mine’. i assumed he was talking about Friday and that you told him i brought you?

i never told him, i guess he thought you brought a real date?

You paused before responding to Oscar, confusion evident on your face and in your lack of response. Before you could type out a reply, two more texts came in.

ok something is up because i just told him that i went with you on friday and he said “i know, i saw you in her insta story in the reflection of a wine glass, i’m talking about yesterday”

insane that he looked close enough to see me in your wine glass but not the point

i literally haven’t been on a date in two years

let me figure this out

You slid your phone back into your bag and pulled out your laptop – your Lando problems would have to wait until you were at least somewhat caught up after missing two days so close to the start of the season.

Meanwhile, at a conference room table in MTC, Oscar was confused. Which, as of late, was a common occurrence when it came to you and Lando.

“Mate,” Oscar addressed Lando, “if you’re not talking about Friday, what date did you ask Y/N about? She hasn’t been on a date in forever.”

“Well then he must have canceled on her because she was supposed to have plans yesterday, it’s why she took days off.”

“I don’t know the exact reason why she took days off but she told me on Friday that she was and didn’t seem too happy about it. Said it was personal reasons.”

“Going on a date is personal.”

“Not ‘take two days off of work’ personal! Where are you even getting this information?”

Lando looked away sheepishly, afraid to admit to Oscar that he had eavesdropped on a private conversation between you and Zak. With Oscar looking at him expectantly, and a bit like a pissed-off Mum, he blurted it out.

“I heard her talking to Zak! Last week on Friday, when I was looking for her, she was in his office and the door was cracked. She had asked him for a couple days off and talked about how she recently started seeing someone and was seeing him again on Tuesday aka yesterday.”

Now Oscar was really confused. You had cried over Lando publicly on Friday, and he knew you fairly well, which meant there was no way you would be crying over Lando and going out with someone else four days later.

“I think you need to just talk to her because I promise you, she is not seeing someone. Also, what do you care? You ditched her for a date on Friday.”

Oscar had a sinking feeling in his stomach as he watched Lando’s face fall.

“Lando, tell me you didn’t.”

“I might have.”

“Jesus, Lando, you heard 30 seconds of a conversation and decided to lie to her? Because what, your ego took a blow? Some caveman instinct?”

“No, I don’t know, honestly. It just slipped out! I had planned to ask her out for real and when I heard her say ‘I’m seeing someone’, I just didn’t know how to be around her. I couldn’t be around her that night.”

“You need to go talk to her. Apologize. Preferably, immediately.”

Lando jumped up from his seat and sighed. “You’re right. She might kill me, and she has every right to, but I have to talk to her and apologize to her. Wish me luck!”

Before Oscar could do what Lando had asked, Lando raced off towards your office, barely stopping himself from tripping over his own two feet.

Across MTC, you had just settled your mind and gotten into a groove of catching up on emails and making progress on deadlines. As soon as you thought to yourself that the day was going better than expected, your office door flung open and Lando Norris was standing stiff in your doorway.

“Lan, I told you that I’m busy. What is going on?” Annoyance was evident in your voice and Lando cringed knowing that this conversation was probably not going to be very pleasant.

“Why did you take time off?”

Your body straightened in shock, of all the things he could have asked you after bombarding you in your office, you wouldn’t have guessed he would pry into your personal life.

“That’s none of your business, Lando. If you were worried about me, you could have reached out, but I haven’t heard from you since you ditched me on Friday.”

Lando could see the hurt on your face, he could see it evident in your body language. He thought back to how you had looked upset immediately when he told you on Friday that he couldn’t go with you – when he told himself it had nothing to do with you wanting to spend time with him.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m sorry for that, it wasn’t – I mean I didn’t, I didn’t want to not go. I just didn’t know what to do.”

“Ok, I’m totally lost. You didn’t know what to do about what, Lando?”

He steeled himself for your reaction – something he had learned by being your friend for the past year was that you held trust and truth in high regard. You didn’t like being lied to, and you didn’t like people trying to dig into your life or get information you weren’t willing to share.

“I heard you in Zak’s office. I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose, I swear, I was looking for you because you were late meeting me. Oscar told me you might be with Zak so I went there and the door was open. And I heard you. So I lied and told you that I couldn’t go to dinner, I don’t know why I said I had a date. All I could focus on was how hurt I was, I just couldn’t be around you and then I felt so stupid and terrible for lying so that’s why I didn’t text you at all.”

You were completely and utterly perplexed – you couldn’t even react with anger at the thought of Lando listening to a private conversation and outright lying to you. What could he have overheard that he was so upset about?

“Lando, I’m still confused. What did you hear? How did I hurt you?”

“No, no, you didn’t hurt me. You have no idea how I feel about you – I was going to tell you that night.” Lando was word-vomiting at this point, he never wanted you to find out this way but he couldn’t stop rambling. “I have had feelings for you for so long, and I finally decided that I was going to tell you even if I was convinced you don’t feel the same. And now I know you don’t because you’re seeing someone and – ”

You interrupted him sternly, allowing the anger you were feeling to come forth and shoving down your confusion. “I’m not dating anyone? Is that why you asked Oscar about my ‘date’? Where did you get that idea?”

“You told Zak that you’re seeing someone and that it’s new but things are going good. I heard you say you were seeing him again on Tuesday.”

Your eyes doubled in size – if you weren’t so pissed off, you might have found humor in this, but you felt heat rising to your cheeks and your stomach churned at the thought of divulging your personal struggles.

“Lando, I’m seeing a therapist,” you hissed.

He froze for a moment, then scrambled to shut your door which was still ajar from him barging in.

“A therapist? Are you okay? What’s going on, why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been struggling?”

“No, no, you don’t get to do this right now. You don’t get to make me less angry by being kind and caring.”

“I’m not doing it to make you less angry, Y/N, I genuinely – ”

“I don’t care, Lando! You eavesdropped on my private conversation, misunderstood the context of that conversation, and then you lied to me. You hurt me. And now, because you got your feelings hurt and did things you shouldn’t have done, I have to share something I wasn’t comfortable sharing with you just yet.”

Lando was speechless – you could see the remorse on his face, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but in that moment you wanted him to feel even worse than you were.

“And you want to know the worst part,” you cried. “I feel the same way about you. I cried to Oscar at dinner because I thought you were with someone else, that you would have rather been at dinner with a different girl.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. Can we please just go somewhere and talk? Really talk this out? I know I messed up, but this doesn’t have to change things or how we feel about each other.”

You wanted to, god, did you want to – you knew Lando hadn’t done any of this on purpose. You knew he didn’t have malicious intent and you knew how hurt he probably felt at the idea of you being with someone – it was exactly the way you felt when you thought the same about him.

“I think you should go, Lan”. Despite every part of you wanting to sit and talk, you knew that you needed some time to settle down.

“Ok,” he whispered. “When you’re ready,” he paused, swallowing the lump in his throat, “if you’re ever ready, you know where to find me.”

His posture made you feel sick as he left your office – Lando was always confident, shoulders back and head held high, but as you watched him through the glass walls surrounding you, he was hunched over. Dejected. You’d only ever seen him that way a few times – after he was torn apart by the media or after making a mistake during a race.

It hurt you to see him that way. But, he had also hurt you, and you needed time.

It had been two weeks since “the incident” with Lando – that’s what Oscar started calling it and it stuck. Fight felt too strong, disagreement felt too weak, so it became something nameless. Undefined. Indeterminate. Exactly like what existed now between you and Lando.

Oscar and Lando were set to leave for Sakhir in a week and you wouldn’t see them again until you joined the team for the Australian GP. If you didn’t work things out with Lando before they left for testing, it would be well over a month without a resolution.

The thought made your eyes burn with tears – you were still upset but more than that you missed Lando. You didn’t even have to wonder if he felt the same because you’d seen him around MTC. He looked just as awful as you, if not worse, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to start a conversation.

You began packing up your things to leave the office, grateful beyond belief that it was a Friday and you’d have two days without seeing Lando’s familiar curls everywhere you turned. At least at home, you would only see them behind closed eyes and wouldn’t have to blink back tears.

A knock at your door startled you, but you assumed it was your team lead looking for your latest analytics report. At least there was one thing you could be happy about – the car data was phenomenal and all signs were pointing to an amazing season for McLaren.

You told whoever was knocking to come in, not looking up from your bag as you rifled through your files. “So sorry, Tom, I meant to bring this to you earlier but I – ”

A throat clearing cut you off, and you looked up to see Lando standing in your doorway with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and one of those cheesy “I’m sorry” balloons in his left hand. You almost giggled, but then you looked at his face and your heart dropped. Dark circles under red-rimmed eyes - he looked awful. 

“I know you said you’d reach out when you’re ready to talk, and I wanted to respect that and give you all the space you need. But, we’re both miserable. At least I think you’re miserable, I know I am. I miss you terribly. I miss my friend. And if that’s all you’ll ever be to me, I can respect that and I will cherish it because the past week has been the worst week of my life.”

“Lando, I – ”

“Please, please let me get all of this out. Please let me apologize.”

You smiled slightly, nodding your head for him to continue.

“I’m sorry for invading your privacy. It wasn’t on purpose but I should have left as soon as I heard you talking because I know how important trust is to you. I violated yours and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying to you. It doesn’t matter if I was hurt, I could’ve just said I wasn’t feeling well or asked you about what I overheard immediately. After apologizing for overhearing, of course. I’m sorry that it took Oscar talking sense into me for me to come to you in the first place. I’m sorry that I hurt you and I’m sorry that I behaved like a child instead of talking to you about my feelings. My actions made you feel forced to tell me something personal that you weren’t ready to share. I’m so sorry, and I hope you know that I’m here for you always.”

He let out a deep breath and you watched his shoulders relax slightly for the first time in two weeks. You knew he was sorry – you’d known how sorry he was immediately when he started explaining and apologizing the first time around, but you just weren’t ready to hear it yet.

“Thank you, Lan,” you whispered as you walked towards him and took his free hand in your own. “I know you’re sorry and I know that this was all a misunderstanding that just got out of hand.”

“I am also sorry for springing my feelings on you. I wanted to tell you properly, ask you out properly, but I couldn’t explain myself without telling you. I ruined everything, it was woefully unromantic.”

“Yeah, that was a bit shit, I didn’t get my big grand gesture or anything.”

Lando’s eyes grew wide, a hopeful gleam in them. “I mean, would you – is that something you would still want? I don’t want to pressure you and I don’t want to assume that you still feel the same.”

“I do,” you said softly. “But, I think we should work on really moving past this before we officially jump into anything more.”

“I completely agree. However, I do have a reservation for two in about forty minutes to make up for ditching you, if you’d like to join me? Otherwise, I’ll have to bring Oscar. He won’t stop talking about the cheese garlic bread.”

“No, Lando, you don’t understand. He ordered three baskets. I went home and typed an apology email to Zak for ruining his diet.”

You both erupted in giggles, leaning into each other for support and out of habit. It felt so good to laugh, the weight and stress of the past two weeks rolling off in waves as Lando’s shoulder bumped yours and you heard the unmistakable laughter that you’d come to love so much.

“Maybe we should bring him anyway,” you pondered. “He’s been an exceptionally good friend to us both the past couple of weeks.”

“He can come next time, I’d like you to myself for the evening. If that’s ok?”

“More than ok, Lan. I’ve really missed you.”

He leaned in quickly, kissing your cheek gently and then nuzzling his nose against your neck, inhaling the scent of the perfume he’d gifted you for your last birthday. “Not as much as I’ve missed you,” he objected, his eyes glimmering slightly. Wet eyelashes fluttered against your neck as he stayed tucked into your side for a few more moments.

“We’re going to be late,” you whispered, with a sincere lack of urgency.

“Can we go back to my hotel room instead? Watch a movie and order in? Jus’ wanna hold you.”

Your heart constricted – as much as you wanted to tease him and say he owed you a night out and your favorite meal, you wanted nothing more than to spend the night in Lando’s arms.

“Of course, Lan. I think I need that too.”

On the way to Lando’s car, you passed Oscar who gave you both a knowing smile and a short wave. If you asked him if he had been waiting for you guys to leave, he would deny it. He would deny being so invested in your reconciliation that he waited close to an hour after he could leave for the day to make sure you were both ok. He would also deny that he tracked both of you and when it dawned on him that you were skipping your dinner, he sped to that little Italian place and stole your reservation for an order (or two) of cheese garlic bread.

He couldn’t resist sending a poorly taken picture to the group chat with the three of you and you burst out laughing when you opened it.

“Lan, Oscar somehow stole our dinner res,” you giggled, turning your phone to show Lando an unmistakable basket of bread and a follow-up text with several heart emojis.

Lando held his phone up to snap a quick selfie of you two cuddled up in bed, him leaning in for the second time that evening to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. Almost immediately after it delivered, your phones lit up with another text from Oscar.

HOT DATE FR THIS TIME?

You and Lando looked at each other and smiled, the mutual understanding of where you stood with your feelings evident.

not quite yet, but soon :)

#lando norris x reader #lando norris angst #lando norris fluff #lando norris fic #lando norris x you #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 x reader

[hiveswap]

Summary of The Cat of The Year poll atrocities of 2023/2024

I'm sure that most people on this side of tumblr have seen the Jellie vs. Nefarious Anglerfish poll going around with like 60k votes at this point, and I'd really like clear up some of what happened since I was around for the whole thing.

Url blocked out for op's privacy. They have already left but don't look for it if you haven't seen it/don't harrass them if you already have.

1. The previous round (preparation)

I discovered the poll in its previous round, needless to say she beat Jort's ass severely. This was around the 3rd of january, meaning that this round finished before jellie's passing with only about 7k votes. Op did add their own piece of propaganda from their main:

...which was FINE. (except for stuff we'll see later) Of course running a poll while biased isn't ideal but I for one didn't even know they were the op until much later. I also added my own piece in a separate thread, and they didn't interact with it at all. There was no drama.

2. The Finale

Jellie unfortunately passed away right before the starting of this poll, which was the catalyst for what happened next. Op did exactly as last time and added a slightly more mean spirited encouragement to vote for the other contestant. This is the point where I believe that i fucked up personally.

I added this thinkpiece accusing op of associating all mcyters with Dream (who we all hate for the record) despite them not alluding to him at all. This is because tumblr has a history of disimissing all mcyters as... everything that dream was been accused of. Op did allude to not caring for mcyt. but they didn't say what i accused them of. This is important to point out because this reblog of mine is still being spread. Jellie was in the lead at the time, but not by the time i woke up next morning.

I won't be including anyone else's additions because I don't want to put blame on any specific person. Just felt like clearing up mine.

3. The Fuckening

Some time later op made this post to their personal blog:

which is insanely shitty because, as other people have pointed out, the "lame ass youtube cat" didn't die to inconvinience op or ruin their fun, and people would have probably voted for her anyway because jelly is universally beloved in the mcyt community. This isn't anti democratic. This post was added to the poll with a caption saying op should not be running this poll, and it took off. Op later went on to say that this was a joke:

This apology was not taken well by people, (including me) because "you were not meant to see it" isn't an apology and they still very much made fun of someone's pet dying. Safe to say this did not make the drama stop and only added fuel to the flame. I believe this was the point where the conversation of mcyt fans being unjustly sent hate to was reignited.

We should discuss that! it's a real thing that happens often and is equal to childish bullying. However, in this case, OP was the only one getting sent hate to my knowledge. The notes were mostly saturated by mcyt fans, and even now i can only find one or two hateful stance towards us under the whole 20k notes post.

4. Conclusions

Op posted a second apology to the catoftheyear blog to try and calm people down (i believe this is comprehensive and a lot better than the previous one) The blog was deactivated shortly after, so i only have my phone screenshots of it that i also added to the poll itself at some point:

(Edit) Here's proof that op did not write the justification they got criticised for, from the notes of the original poll:

This apology didn't get seen, or get accepted by enough people, so op made this statement on their personal:

Needless to say I am deeply dissapointed (and guilty) that it's come to this. Yes, op said tasteless things that made us all angry, but telling a human being to commit suicide is worse than being insensitive about a stranger's pet dying. Even after I posted about the blog being decatived i had someone come into my notes to wish that "they never find happiness" i mean wtf. This isn't like shipping where we can do whatever without the content creator's input. this is fucking harrowing and i can't imagine how i'd feel if this was done in my/my pet's name especially after losing them as recently as a week ago.

I hope no one from hermitcraft who is on here (let alone scar holy shit) learns about this like they did with previous lighthearted tournaments. If you truly respect the creators you claim to be a fan of as people, you do not tell people to kill themselves over them. And finally, let Jellie fucking rest, guys. she had a long, good life. I hope op can come back and also avoids behaving like this if they ever wish to do so. I'm angrier at mcytblr, though.

#catoftheyear #jellie #tw animal death #tw suicide bait #hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #adding to main tags so people see this instead of the poll itself with no context on how it ended #If this breaches containment and gets used as a reason to hurt mcyt fans i am going zo eat whoever is doing that #catoftheyeartournament #jellie the cat

[csuitebitches]

How to Wake Up Early

I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.

Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.

I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.

Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.

That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.

Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.

So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.

I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.

1. Reset your space the night before

This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.

Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.

2. Early dinner

I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.

3. No devices before sleeping

I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.

4. Using Alarmy app

This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.

5. Keep your phone across the room

Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.

6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm

Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.

I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.

Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.

7. Turn a small light on

Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.

8. Be consistent, even on weekends

The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.

What do I do if I have a late night?

It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.

If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.

#c suite #powerful woman #strong women #ceo aesthetic #personal growth #that girl #productivity #q/a #getting your life together #balance #waking up early #neuroscience #Andrew Huberman’s #K-pop #jihyo

[memospacexx]

we need a part 2 of the absent father alastor, the first part was amazing 😭

Age wasnt mentioned last part, this pne they are hinted to be 13-16 :3

Im writting this in the passenger seat cos i REALLY LOVE THIS MY GOD

Perhaps this was his punishment all along

To have his own child turn their back on him

But he knows its his fault. As much as he wouldnt admit it to a soul he knows. Hes self aware but it doesnt make things better

After he reappeared when the hotel was fixed, it seems like the child stuck with husk even more, sometimes even downright avoiding him

Him?

But hes their father

HE raised them

Right?

He tried, tried to hard to recall memories to back up his point but he couldn’t. All he could remember was him dropping you on husk

Like some cheep booze.

I suppose this was the weight of his actions

He could do nothing now, but that didnt stop him. Hes a hard headed man afterall

It started with him asking you to accompany him at his radio station, something you loved and begged him to before

Always asked to go with him, oh how you loved his voice

But he never did allow you to

On good days he would, but even then those were rare

So hes the one bringing you now!you wouldnt turn down some time with your deer old dad right? Specially how you used to even beg for his attention.

…

No? What do you mean no? Dont you love going ? Dont you love radio? Dont you love. Him?

“Uhm no thanks father i wanna watch husk do magic” you could never truly look into his eyes

Even when you called him father it felt so..

Forced.

But he grinned and bared it “I understand little doe! But you know where to find me” he chuckled and walked away

He could do magic too. He could do magic better. So why husk? Hes stronger, more capable of protecting you, he could protect you better than husk ever could, there was no need for you to cower under that horrid sinners wings because your father, your blood, could protect you

But he never did. Not when you got in trouble for running into some loan sharks, he let you fend for yourself

Pain was the best teacher

He would say

So he threw you to the wolves. How ironic.

That ended as horrible as you’d think, the only reason you got out there alive is because vox, yes, him, out of everyone killed the demons when he noticed it was you, he was just passing by, going to another meeting from one he just left

He recognized you, he knew of alastors offspring but never cared for them, his business is with their father. However, even then this was cruel, and he knew that deer was watching everything

He could feel the eyes on him. On them.

Vox watched as you scampered away, like a deer, like a doe.

Even then , he thought alastor would atleast have compassion for the child

His child

But he was wrong, he gave that bastard too much credit.

Even rosie, a demon that doesnt share the same blood as you, treats you kinder than your own

After that incident, you refused to go out as much, opting to stay with …husk.

Husk, dear old husk, he never minded

He hated it at first tho.

Having to babysit, he didnt like you either

But he knows, he KNEW it wasnt your fault either, he knows you wanted to spend time with that absent father of yours

So he tried his best filling that void in your heart, he felt pity for the little child, so he told old stories of his life before he was damned,he says they’re boring but the shine in your eyes and smile on your face whenever he speaks never fails to amaze him

he even taught you how to play poker

Charlie reprimanded him for that, saying he cant teach a child how to gamble

But he didnt care

You were smiling

Laughing

It wasnt much but it was enough

Enough from him

Enough for you.

It made his blood boil, it wasnt fair. Alastor would think

Why cant you look up at him with admiration?like how you always looked when you were younger

Yeah

Maybe this was his punishment.

TAG LIST;: @ghostdoodlen @lixanjewel @crowleysthings

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x child reader #hazbin x reader #hazbin x you #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x child reader #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #kinda sad but its alastor lets b fr #alastor x reader #alastor #husker #husker x reader #husker x child reader #husker hazbin hotel

[batboyblog]

hey thanks for not being super doomer over these anti-trans bills. i kept on seeing so many people being defeated over them and it messed up my mental health for a while, like nothing could be done. but you did bring up some good points and shed some light onto people who are actively fighting for us so i thank you again

The queer movement, in the US any ways, has always been cyclical, we make big gains and push forward, then there's a super scary backlash. We're right now at the hight of a really scary backlash thats focused on trans people in particular but is anti-queer more generally. It's intense but its important to remember these backlashes don't generally last very long, they are scary, but each time they've happened, the mid to late 1970s, the 1980s, the early 2000s, the tide has gone out and gay rights, LGBT rights, and society's acceptance of LGBT people has been farther along than before they have never ever managed to turn us back in the years since Stonewall.

And as intense and scary as this is in some ways it's better than last time, when I was a gay teenager. in those days... in 2004 and 2008 the Democrats running for President were uniformly against gay marriage (the big issue of that time) they were trying to get us to settle for the not marriage alternative of civil unions. Only a handful of Congresspeople (some of them gay themselves) in DEEP! blue districts dared to support gay marriage outright. Today the Democratic Party is the most pro-LGBT major political party in the world, you had the President and every Democrat of any note making statements for TDOV a few days ago and you're not seeing even red state Democrats back down and agree to be "a little transphobic" for votes. It felt a lot more lonely last time when it was us and a handful of allies fighting the backlash with most of the Democratic Party on the side lines handwringing and saying "well can't you wait?"

any ways this movement is and will always be a struggle, the rights we've won, the acceptance we've received has never just been given, it's been won, through hard work. Everyone has to dedicate themselves to work in their corner of the earth to the best of their abilities and to push themselves past what they think they can do. That means hooking up with LGBT rights groups on the ground to protest, to rally, to try to support and comfort those queer people who are down and out in whatever way right now, it means digging deep and having hard and awkward conversations with the people in your life, if you're gay or trans or whatever and you got that one aunt/uncle/cousin/whoever in your life that loves you to bits but you know still votes Republican and you just don't bring it up because you don't want to hurt the relationship... have the talk keep having the talk as many times as you need to. Tell your grandparents if they don't know, tell your parents (if its safe or if you don't need their money any more) tell co-workers who don't know etc, they vote for us 2 to 1 if they know they know one of us. Finally register to vote, make sure all your friends particularly if you're young are registered and vote, vote in every election. Trust me it's AMAZINGLY easy to find the email of candidates for school board or city council and it's amazingly easy to ask questions. Last election I emailed every school board candidate about Holocaust education, and the state rep candidate about trans rights, she wrote me back a lovely note and mailed be a sticker she'd picked up from a trans rights group. It's amazingly easy to get involved, I volunteered with my local democrats for one election and they offered me the #3 spot in their local party, I have the phone numbers of my state rep and state senator without trying really, you can get in the room with these people, with candidates for governor, congress, I have my picture with 3 US Presidents? its not hard to do, and you can use chances like that to talk to them and show them your humanity and leave an impression that really matters in the long run.

sorry to RAMBLE but it's important that everyone do their part, pick a little something, a project to push this thing forward, people doom scrolling, particularly posting about how its hopeless does not help, posting in general doesn't help much even if its not doomerism, I think in the years after the anti-gay marriage Bush backlash we got very online and we got very "progress just happens" and a lot of people fell out of the habit or came of age without the habit of protest and without a local queer community or local progressive community and its very important in the face of this to find or build those and also understand in some places its gonna be years of work to get where we want to go, but we will and it'll be worth all the work.

#LGBT #Queer #gay rights #trans #trans rights #politics #ask

[jq37]

I think the wildest part about the Porter isn't that he's evil. As you've said, Brennan's been hinting at Porter being evil this season for a while now, so while it's still shocking, it's not surprising, if you get what I'm saying.

No, it's the fact that this has always been the plan and not something that was reconned in this season. Like, we all thought this was just Brennan taking the bit to its logical conclusion, but no, this has been a reveal five years in the making...

And Emily figured it out Day fucking One by sheer accident!

Yeah for me the thing that floored me wasn't the reveal because that's been on the table for a while now. It was when Brennan said he'd been holding on to it for five years.

Because I even an amazing DM like Brennan can't plan EVERYTHING in advance. Like, the Night Yorb was obviously an addition purely based on the fact that Murph anagrammed Garthy of Brian looking for clues. And I can't imagine Gilear was ever meant to be anything other than a 4 HP divorcee. The Night Yorb fight and Gilear's curse are both pretty clear instances of Brennan running with a bit and working it into the story. But he said he's been sitting on this for FIVE YEARS. Since Freshman year!

I would even be less shocked if he said since Sophmore Year because there is that weird conversation with him, Jace, and Arianwen that finally came up this ep that was never resolved. But since Freshman year? That's nuts!

Second Edit: I am untethered to the passage of time and did my math to figure out when 5 years ago was incorrectly lol. Still impressed Brennan sat on this for so long but 5 years means since Soph Year not Freshman Year. See the replies for me realizing I did my math wrong last night.

If he's not exaggerating then, imo, it's pretty incredible to have this much lore in the back pocket with regard to NPCs that aren't even necessarily factoring into your main story that much. I wonder if this is akin to Mr. Gibbons (dude Aguefort killed to rez Gorgug in ep 2) just being evil and it never being explored but Brennan having had it in his notes. Does he just have a list of 3-5 other evil plots simultaneously happening in the background ready to be stumbled onto or just the general vibes of which teachers are shady?

And, as a sometimes DM, the last time I ran a full length campaign, literally before the game even started--like during Session Zero--I had my BBEG guessed offhandedly by a player just based on her name which wasn't any different from the other names I listed as part of background info and I just went through all the stages of grief internally and then pressed on without changing anything because of Story Integrity. Anyway my point is that it happens and as a DM it is WILD when it does.

Anyway, I am SO excited for the AP tomorrow. Brennan, you better not hold anything back I am SO curious about your DM machinations!

(Edit: Equally excited for Emily's reaction. Adaine is the diviner of the party and, evidently, Emily is the diviner of the table. WILD.)

(Second Edit:

#brwolf1995 #asks #fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 #spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 spoilers

[thechekhov]

Since you've covered a pretty big bit of the manga so far, can I ask what are your opinions on it? Deeper than just the quick reactions you've shared with us so far.

What are your opinions about the manga's characters? Its pacing? The mystery element? The magic system? What areas do you think it succeeds, and what areas do you think could be better?

I understand if you're reversing judgment until you finish, but you've also read quite a bit of the story so far. Idk, I'm just curious!

Especially seeing as you're a writer yourself, so I imagine you have a different perspective on how the story functions as, well, a story!

Oh, hmmm... that's an interesting question.

As of right now I'm on chapter 35-36 so I'm about a third through the story. The first major arc (find dragon, yoink falin out of its body, etc) has kinda happened, and we're hitting some larger world arcs.

As you mentioned, I DO want to withold judgement but for now... But I will say what I think thus far, with full awareness that my mind might be changed later depending on circumstances.

Comment 1: The manga is finished! Actually, just knowing that makes me feel like it's a more cohesive storyline.

Maybe I'm boring, but I'm not a huge fan of neverending storylines in general. Naruto, Bleach, etc. They have their place in the forever-young-monster-of-the-week genre, and I know why so many manga just keep... on... publishing....... but I feel like there's a lot of merit to being able to just wrap up a story and say 'there, that's how it ends'.

Comment 2: Laios is very well developed, even at this point of the story. Senshi remains a mystery. Marcille... speedran her arc?

I think this is the closest thing I have to a criticism. While I think Laios' character is well-paced in its revelations throughout the series (the slow ramp-up from 'oh this guy is weird' to 'oh, this guy is a freak club card carrying member' to 'oh, this guy is the freak club president' was great!) Marcille is.... a little more of a mystery to me.

Now, perhaps my memory is bad. But I did find her turnaround at the end of the Red Dragon arc a bit... out of the blue?

Don't get me wrong. I think it's entirely believable. But I wish there had been more hints - or rather, more visible progress of her studies of ancient magic. I know it's been mentioned, and there WAS that chapter of her and Falin during their school years... but watching episode 2 of the show on netflix when she goes 'I feel useless, my magic doesn't help anyone :(' and then reading the manga and seeing her straight up go from 0 to 100 as she decides "we're gonna rearrange falin's bones and then I'mma raise her using this ancient technique I've been studying all along that I didn't tell you about because it was sus" is... a little bit of a turn?

Maybe it's on purpose! Maybe, when I read further about her personal journey, the pieces will fall into place more neatly. But compared to the rest of the characters, which seem relatively steady in their reveals (Laios, Chillchuck, Senshi) Marcille took a bit of a turn.

Which, again, isn't bad! It just seems contrasted to the rest of the team.

Comment 3: The magic system is more like a magic ecology.

Actually, in the beginning, I found the magic system Marcille used very vague. It was just a 'do what needs to be done' type of power with very few apparent limits or power balances aside from 'sometimes you run out of mana'. But I think at this point, I'm beginning to assume that the details of the magic are closer to the functions of an ecosystem or an organism, and therefore WHAT the magic does is kind of moot point. Marcille is just a little bacteria inside of the great intestine labyrinth of the dungeon, and she is using its energy to survive, like a sort of microfauna.

Comment 4: Man, the worldbuilding is cool. It's so cool.

I don't think I've seen another story that goes so deeply into dungeon ecosystems before this one. Not only are the people who live there fleshed out in terms of individual cultures and traditions and norms, there are also monsters that serve as a natural fauna that inhabits the halls of what OUGHT to be a mindless 'turn left and fall into a trap' setting!

There's sticking monsters into your world, and then there's 'digging out a trench 1 meter deep, pre-soaking the soil, inserting monster's roots lovingly into the spot, and then covering it with fertilizer and spritzing the leaves'. I don't doubt that there ARE other works that go into this level of detail, but the dedication and the ideas Kui-san has for this very much makes the dungeon a living part of this entire tale. :)

I'll probably have more to say later but for now.. that's about it!

#chekhov answers #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #chekhov reads dungeon meshi

[doggoboigaugau]

Stray dog (Part 7)

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

Pairings: Ghost x Soap x Male Reader

Summary: Male Reader apologizes to Ghost after the incident. The two men confess.

Word count: 1516

Warning: Slight description of violent thoughts.

And here he is. Without the skull mask. The face of the man that has appeared so many times in your dream. Blond hair, long and perfectly curling eyelashes that slightly shadow his brown eyes. A long scar that starts at the corner of his left eyebrow, pretty near to his piercing, and runs down to the corner of his mouth. He looks even prettier than you could ever imagine. But you would never wish that you’ll see his real face for the first time in such a scenario like this. You gulp, trying not to stare at the three red scratches on his right cheek.

“I– I’m sorry…” Finally, you muster enough courage to say the words. Your mind thought of what had brought you here, into this embarrassing situation. You and the first man you’ve ever had a real crush on, Fyodor, met again after years of no contact. You lost yourself and found a place to fall into your old habit of burning your arm with cigarettes. Ghost found out, people started to surround you, and you got mad and attacked him like a rabid dog before running away. Then, Soap showed up in front of your door, and stayed with you in your room for a while, helping you to mentally prepare for this difficult ‘speech’ of apology.

Ghost looks at you, his brown eyes narrow, probably to gauge how sincere you are with your apology. The three scratches on his cheek that no one but you caused during the motion glow so bright to your eyes that it makes you feel even more guilty and horrible than you already were. 

“Y/n, did you know you strip my mask off during that little act of yours? In front of everyone?” Ghost hisses, obviously very angry and disappointed.

You widen your eyes, feeling a lump in your throat as you try to say something. Anything. But you know nothing can fix what you caused. It’s because of you that everyone there has seen Ghost’s face, the thing that he has put effort into to hide from people. 

Soap says, “Look, I’m not trying to underestimate the severity of this situation, but I just wanna say that I did step up and help Ghost to hide his face in time before anyone can have a good look at its prettiness.”

Now Ghost’s burning eyes turn to Soap and the Scottish man chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, “Sorry… You two continue, I won’t butt in.”

Again, the man of your dream turns his attention back to you, and you have to embarrassingly admit to yourself that he still looks so hot being angry like this. You turn your head slightly to the side with the hope that none of the two men will notice how blushingly red your cheeks and neck have gotten. 

“Look straight in my eyes, Y/n.” The man roars.

Tremblingly, you turn your head back to look him in the eyes as he demands.

“Why did you do that to yourself?” Ghost asks, as he grabs your left arm and lifts it up to emphasize his point. His fingers squeeze around your flesh so tightly that you unknowingly grimace.

“I– I don’t really know…” You stutter. The Brit is furious, his aura is powerful and intimidating, and you can do nothing but shrink in his raged presence. 

“You don’t know? YOU DON’T KNOW??” Simon grits each word through his teeth.

Tears brim in your eyes again, “I don’t know! Alright? It’s just… I just felt this burning anger inside my body, my stomach, and I wanted to… do something… to hurt someone! I wanted to punch someone really hard in the face multiple times! And then when they fell to their knees, I’d kick them really hard in the face. Then– then I’d peel their skin off! But I cannot hurt anyone but myself, so I did it! I burnt my arm and it made me feel better!”

Simon stares blankly at you, saying nothing but breathing heavily. Soap observes you two carefully, his eyes move between you and Simon.

You expect Simon to scream back at you, calling you ugly names, like a failure, a monster, a psychopath, a liability, or just a crazy, unloveable dog. But all his reaction is a surprisingly soft, trembling voice, “This is the first time you’ve ever opened up to us…”

Your big puppy eyes widen again at the man, as never in your dream would anyone respond this way to such bloody, concerning words.

“W-what?”

“I said, this is the first time you’ve ever opened up to us.” The man ‘kindly’ repeats the sentence for you, and Soap almost bursts out laughing. The Scot is notorious for laughing in unfitting circumstances.

“Well, actually he opened up to me just a few minutes ago.” Soap jokes.

“Shut up, Soap.” Simon rolls his eyes annoyedly. 

“Sorry, sorry…” Soap giggles and then does the ‘zipping’ motion across the line of his mouth to indicate that he won’t butt in again and he’s serious this time.

“Y/n, why is it so hard for you to open up? To trust us?” Simon proceeds, his brown eyes glittering in the dim sunlight that manages to pass through many layers of blinds into his own dark room as if he’s crying. But he is not, because there is no tear. 

Seeing that you’re not replying, he pries further, “Why??”

It’s quite ridiculous to think that it turns out Simon is the one who has this kind of talk with you. About ‘Why don't you just open up?’. Admittedly, no one will expect this seemingly emotionless man under that legendary skull mask and with the thickest shell ever to be forcing this conversation onto you. You thought he must’ve known why. You thought you two are somewhat similar, and he’ll understand why you do the things you do. Two wounded children who have to spend a lifetime trying to find ways to ease the pain engraved so deeply in their souls. He should’ve known…and helped you to avoid opening up about it. Instead, unfortunately, he’s here, making you pour your heart out.

“Alright! I’ll tell you why!” You shout, and the mountain of a man flinches, obviously not expecting you to be so harsh, “I’m just– not really good at maintaining relationships, OK?” Your brain starts playing tricks on you again, as Fyodor’s face pops so vividly inside your mind, along with the memories between you and him, and between you and some other people whom you wish things could’ve been different… 

“I don’t understand how relationships work. I don’t understand how other people do it so easily. I don’t know, they just… they send each other stupid messages, stupid little jokes and memes, and then they hang out with each other,... I try to do the exact same things as them, but still I can’t. Everything that has me in it is just meant to end sooner or later. No matter how much effort I put into a relationship, it still ends in one way or another. It’s just– I’m just– different.” You stop to catch your breath. It feels like your heart can jump out of your ribs at any moment now and it’s hard to breathe. Then, you realize your vision is blurry, and that you’ve been crying this whole time.

Simon is silent for a while, before speaking again, “So… you don’t believe any relationship will work for you, so you just don’t open up to avoid…”

“Attachment.” You say. Breathlessly. “I will never be who I want to be.”

“What do you mean?” Simon is right in front of you. You two are so close now that you can feel the heat of his body radiating around you, as if it’s wrapping you up in the warm cloth of a blanket. He lifts his hand and wipes your tears rolling down on your rosy cheek with his rough thumb.

“I want to be…a happy, humorous, and likable person. Someone who can crack funny jokes. Someone with a positive and attractive aura. Someone who can make people immediately like them and want to be around them. Someone who has a lot of friends, knows a lot of people,... Someone is able to give love in return…”

“I’m pretty sure you’re already such a person.” Simon speaks gently, his voice is soft and warm.

“No. It’s just a facade. A mask. The truth is I’m a despicable person filled with ugly thoughts and jealousy.” You shake your head.

“What’s so fun wishing to be someone else?” Soap suddenly speaks up after being silent and observing you two for so long. He moves closer to you too, and now you realize you’re being cornered by both of the men. As you instinctively take a few steps back to maintain a ‘safe’ distance, the Scot smirks dangerously, amused at how scared you appear to be and how your adorable puppy eyes nervously dart between him and Simon.

“We love you for who you really are.”

*

To be continued... (Our men finally confess...)

Taglist:@justdawn @killmeprettypleasee @livelaugh-light @therealppboy @arthurmorgansballsack @redjeanjacket @gay-as-hell-blog @b0g-b0y @somothegraffitiartist @kodasstar @teippirulla @aphroditeslovr @peter-the-pan @wvandahoe@c0nny3917@talia-the-gemini

#cod x male reader #ghost x male reader #soap x male reader #male reader #call of duty #gay #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #john soap mactavish #soap cod #ghostsoap #cod angst #depression #mention of trauma #soap is simping over male reader #ghost is also simping over male reader #uwu #call of duty mw2 #mw2 x male reader #ghost x you #soap x you #mw2 x you #johnny soap mactavish #simon riley x reader #john mactavish x reader #stray dog #love confession

[glassartpeasants]

Run Rabbit Run

Yandere!Eustass Kidd x F!Reader

Warnings: physical abuse, death, pre-time skip kidd, implied non-con, nonconsensual kissing/touching, blood, Kidd being an arsonist, edited as much as my smooth brain could, long fic??

Trash summary: After escaping, reader has flashbacks of her time with kidd and it only fuels her want for freedom more

A/N: Well, this took a bit long. I went over this fic so damn much it isn't even funny. I do hope in the end, it was worth it and that you guys like it. Whoever guesses the word count gets a cookie

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10

~~~

The sound of rain crashing down did little to dull the sound of your beating heart. It echoed in your ears to the point where you thought it’d explode! The way you struggled to get air in your lungs didn’t help either. They burned along with your body as you ran as fast as you could through the trees.

The rain still hit you despite the leaves that protected you overhead. Your clothes clung to your body tight enough to the point it made it difficult to run. You lost your socks to the mud long ago, so now you were pushing through the slimy ground as fast as you could. The feeling of it against your feet made you cringe. But you’d rather deal with it than go back to the hell that you just escaped from.

About a year ago, you were abducted from your hometown in broad daylight by the most feared New Gen pirates in the South Blue, the Kidd Pirates. Everyone from your town knew who they were. No shop owners denied them service, and everyone waited on their beck and call. Despite that, they still plundered and burned down anything they wanted to. Nothing was safe.

You remember the first day you saw them. You were walking home from the grocery store when you heard the mayor pleading. Biting your lip, you look around the corner of a building, trying to get a sense of what was happening. There you saw it, your mayor on his knees begging a group of people to leave your town alone. Squinting your eyes, you try to see better, only to let out a gasp of shock and fear.

“No way…” You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. The seemingly whole crew of the infamous Kidd Pirates. Their captain, Eustass Kidd, stood in front of your begging mayor with a sick grin on his face. 

“Too bad, old man! Now, you either give me all the treasures in this shit town, or you'll see its ashes fall from the sky!” The air seemed to go cold as you felt frozen. You wanted to run away and warn your community, but something made you stay.

“But! The people need that for-” The mayor went flying backward from a kick that the pirate sent his way.

“Wrong answer, old fool! Burn it down and take everything! Leave no stone unturned!” The rest of the pirates went their separate ways and followed their captain's commands. Your whole body shook as you moved your gaze back to the captain. A choking feeling took over you when you saw his amber eyes staring right into yours. Even from where you stood, you could hear him laughing as your eyes never left his. 

You finally manage to pull out of your frozen trance when you watch him starting to move in your direction. Dropping your groceries, you start to run away as fast as you could. You look all around, trying to find the best routes to lose him, but his eyes haunt you no matter where you look.

The sound of your footsteps rang in your ears as you felt your heart kicking into overdrive. What could he possibly want from you? Would he kill you? Use you as some sort of ransom? All you knew was that you had to outrun him! 

Suddenly, your jerked to a stop. You feel yourself slowly moving backward. Looking down, you see the bracelet that your fiance gave you, slowly pulling you back to where you just ran from. You try to take it off but are once again jerked back even harder, and your whole body feels like it’s flying backward from how hard you were pulled back.

“Where do you think you're going, huh?” A strong hand grabbed your wrist as your back collided with the man you had just tried to run away from. You could only look up in horror as his smile sent chills down your spine.

“Y-Your Eustass Kidd…” Your voice shakes, as well as your body.

“Damn right, I am. What? You afraid?” His laugh only fueled your fear more. Here you were, stuck in a madman's grip with no way of knowing what his plans for you were.

“Please! Just let me go! I-I’ll give you all the money I have. Just please let me go!” You try to pry his hand off your wrist, but inside, you know it is pointless. It seemed your pathetic attempt amused him.

“Now, why would I let something I caught far and square go?” He pulled your hand closer to look at the bracelet that adorned your wrist.

“Your shitty stainless steel bracelet betrayed you, princess.”

“My fiance worked hard to make it for me!-”

“Don’t make me laugh! This is the shittest piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen!” You see him grab your bracelet and watch in horror as it contorts itself off your wrist. It falls into his hands as he looks at it closer.

“Give it back!” You try to grab it, but he lifts it up and away from your grasp.

“It ain’t even pure stainless steel. Pathetic. Not even detailed, just a circle of metal.” Your mouth drops open when you see the bracelet crunch into a ball the size of a bullet.

“Repel.” What used to be your bracelet shoots away from his hand and into a store window. You feel tears rim your eyes at his chuckles.

“Now, c’mon. You're coming with me.” Once again, you try to pry off his grip, but it doesn’t budge an inch.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, princess. I’m not a very patient person.” You were about to say something in retaliation, but the sound of your fiance yelling made you turn your head.

“(Y/N)! Get your hands off her, you filthy pirate!” Your heart drops to your stomach when you see your fiance standing 30 feet away from you. Moving your gaze from your fiance to Kidd was a mistake, as you felt your blood run cold. The cocky grin was no longer there, instead, a furious one replaced it.

“This is that pathetic fiance? Ugh, I don’t have time to deal with you. I’ve got to take this treasure I found back to the ship-”

“(Y/N)’s not going anywhere with you! Let her go, pirate!” A murderous look sparked in Kidd’s eyes as he looked at your fiance, who dared tell him what to do. A bad feeling filled your gut as you turned to your fiance.

“Run (....)! He’s going to kill you!” You try to scream out to them as loud as you could. The hand that once gripped your wrist wrapped itself around your torso and pulled you into Kidd’s chest. Your arms trapped under his arm as you struggle to even move.

“Killer!” The sound of running footsteps echoes as they grow closer to you.

“Yeah, Kidd?” A man in a striped blue and white mask appears next to you. His stature much different from the one holding you hostage.

“I need to make an example out of them, kill them. Little shit thinks they can tell me what I can and can’t do.” You stare at the masked man in horror as he seemingly stares back at you.

“Who’s she?”

“My new plaything. Cutie, ain’t she?” Kidd’s chest rumbles with small laughter as he holds you tighter. The man who you assume is Killer, simply nodded before two massive blades come into your view. Your throat goes dry as you see him rush towards your fiance, who looks petrified. 

“No! Leave them alone!-”

“Alright, let's go.” You were turned around just before you heard the wails of your fiance. Tears started to slip down your cheeks as the love of your life was brutally slain right behind you. Your mind runs with horrific images of what could have possibly happened. All you did was look at the ground and watch as each pebble left your sight as Kidd walked forward. You wanted to scream, kick, punch, just anything to hurt him, but your body was immobile from the sheer shock of how fast your life was crashing down in front of you.

“What a pretty sight, don’t you think?” Biting your lip, you move your head up slowly to see what could possibly make him so happy. As soon as you lifted your head, you felt your mouth drop open at the sight.

The buildings that you’ve known your entire life were set ablaze. The heat it gave off was insufferable as Kidd walked through it without a care. Sounds of wood collapsing and flames flickering rang from all directions. All your childhood memories erased and replaced with an ongoing hell before your eyes. The urge to vomit was immense, but you held back, not wanting to show any more weakness than you already have.

The trek from the town to the ship felt like hours, yet when you did reach the ship, it was like one you’d never seen. You couldn’t keep your eyes off it. If it didn’t belong to the man who took away all that you loved dear just moments ago, you would have applauded for its uniqueness. The only thing that deserves the fate that your home was subject to is the ship in front of you. 

Your heart beat against your ribs at the sound of wood creaking under Kidd’s feet. You bit your lip in worry, not knowing where he was taking you. While he dragged you to the deep parts of his ship, you tried memorizing anything you could. The only thing you could really focus on, though, was the sickening smile that he wore. 

He stopped at a door in the furthest part of the ship. Your body shook as he opened the door to show what's inside. Crates filled most of the room, but there was a small window that barely let any light inside the room. When your eyes landed on a set of chains, you knew that you couldn’t let him put those on you. If he got them on, there was no way to get them off!

“No! Let me go!” You try to desperately wiggle out, but a quick crushing hold from Kidd had the wind knocked from your lungs. The sounds of chains jiggling blocked from your mind as you try to regain the air that was abruptly squeezed out of you. It was only when you felt the cold metal attacking your ankle and your body crashing to the ground is when you were dragged back to the present. 

“There we go.” You didn’t dare look up. Your only thought was to pry off the chain, even though you knew that it was wishful thinking. Tears pour down your face once more at the fear of what would happen to you. You could feel your nails digging into the skin of your ankle as you tried to rip it off.

You feel Kidd grabbing both your wrists with one hand before using the other one to grab your face. He moves your head so he can look at your tear filled face. He moved his smiling face closer to yours to where there must have been only 2 inches away from yours. You see him stick his tongue out before you feel the slimy muscle run up your cheek, licking your tears away. You felt bile rise in your throat as he did the same to your other cheek, his saliva coating your skin. Through your blurry vision, you can see him licking his lips.

“You look so hot with tears running down your face, princess. Just the sight alone is enough for me to want to shove my cock down your throat just to see more of your pretty tears.” His crude words made you shut your eyes in embarrassment as you tried to turn your head away, yet to no avail. You can feel his head move to the point where you feel his breath against your ear.

“I’ll be back. Don’t wanna miss out on all the fun. Gotta make sure everything burns. I’m sure you understand.” His laughter rang in your ear as he let go of your face and wrists. The noise echoed in the small room. Making it sound like the devil himself was laughing at you. The man in front of you might as well be.

The small light that the door gave you soon snuffed out as Kidd closed the door. The sound of it locking on the other side made the darkness surrounding you more menacing. From the small window that gave you as much light as a lighter, you could see the sun setting and the small burnt debris from your home falling from the sky.

~~~

The feeling of the ship rocking made your stomach curdle. You’ve never been on one before, and now you were at the very bottom of one? The window that was your only source of light was just barely above the water. On rainy days, light was practically a wish. You were caved in total darkness. The only thing that soothed you to sleep was the sound of the rain. You just tried to imagine you were back home and lying down on your bed, waiting for your fiance to join you.

The ‘bed’ you got to sleep on was just tons of blankets lying on top of one another. You had to use a blanket as a pillow as well. It didn’t help that it was freezing. Hypothermia was basically knocking on your door every night. Sometimes you could even see your own breath. 

The chain around your ankle didn’t help either. It felt like freezing needles were stabbing into your skin constantly. Sometimes you thought that it might just freeze your foot off.

Suddenly, you hear the telltale signs that Kidd was approaching your door. You’ve memorized the patterns of everyone's footsteps that had come in and out of your room. Which was basically just Kidd and his little kiss-ass friend Killer.

You could hear the lock unlocking, and soon the bright light from the outside filled your room. Gritting your teeth, you pretend to be asleep under the blankets. Maybe he might just leave.

“I know your awake, princess.” You move your head just so you could barely catch a glimpse of him. Despite the fact you were shooting him daggers with your eyes, he simply laughed at you. He held a lantern light before shutting the door and making it semi-dark again. Your heartbeat doubles as you see his smile as he walks towards you. 

“No, hello, aye?” He set down the lantern on a crate before sitting down just above your head. It was quiet for a second before you felt him grip your hair and harshly tug so you’d look at him. The stinging made your eyes water as you looked at him.

“You better start talking, I wanna hear your voice, princess.” You see him pull out a sharp blade from his pocket. Knowing he was a man who never made empty threats, you gave in.

“H-Hello Eustass.” Your voice barely a whisper as you look at him in his amber eyes. 

“There we go. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” You dig your nails into the blankets as you try to imagine yourself anywhere but here. His laughter rang in your ears before you felt him lock his lips with yours. 

He was rough, and he kept your hair tightly between your fingers. You didn’t reciprocate the kiss, which made him let out a growl. His grip grew tighter, and you soon felt the cold metal of a blade press up against the skin of your neck. 

You could feel your eyes widen and your heart stop at the sensation. You couldn’t escape him if you were dead. Despite wanting to spit in his face, you did what he wanted. While he didn’t move the knife, you felt him smile against your lips. 

He was pushy with his kisses, seemingly trying to steal your air. You did your best to try and keep up so he wouldn’t hurt you, but he was just not giving you any time. He bit your lip hard, which made you yelp out in pain. He took advantage and shoved his tongue down your throat. The taste of sake filled your mouth as he explored every inch of your mouth. 

Tears soon dripped from your eyes, no matter how hard you tried to keep them in. Kidd saw this and groaned into your mouth at the sight. You hated this sick bastard and how he got off to you crying from pain and fear. 

He soon pulled away, and a trail of saliva connected both of your lips. Air finally expanded your lungs after being cut off for so long. You cough for a few seconds before looking back up at Kidd. The knife was still held against your throat, and his grip on your hair tight. 

“Your still so bratty. I wonder how long it’s going to take to break you. Break you so you cry and beg for my cock the moment you see me. Begging me to use you like a toy. My dicks hard just thinking about it.” The hand holding the knife left, and you could see him put it down. A sigh of relief left you before you felt him grab your hand. He gave you a gut-wrenching smile before moving your hand to the waistband of his pants. Your eyes widen, and your heart stops at the action.

“Gonna show you just how hard you make me princess. And maybe if your good, you’ll get a reward…” He pushes your hand down his pants you hear him let out a shaky breath. You can feel the tips of your fingers touching the base of his cock. The simple feeling made you vomit in your mouth. You hear Kidd laugh as he looks down at you. He puts his face close to yours once more, and you can see the crazed look in his eyes. 

“...And if you're bad, you can say goodbye to ever leaving this room.”

~~~

Your ankle still burns from being shackled for so long. It was so tight against your foot that sometimes you still think it's on. It has been off for a while, but the scar from it scrapping against your skin was still fresh. It’d no doubt stay there forever, even if you do apply scar cream. The scar would always be a reminder of what you went through and what you lost. 

By now, the rain had mixed with your tears as your hair stuck to your face. Your body overworked itself as it ignored every fall in the mud, every rock or stick stepped on, and the overwhelming fear that the man you’ve been stuck with will catch you. After working so hard to be able to escape, you weren’t gonna go down now. 

Still, you feared that he might find you. You had left footprints in the mud as you ran into the woods. What if he saw them? Could the rain possibly have washed them away? Your mind simply ran rampant as thoughts seemed to come and go. 

Especially the thought of how you were going to get the thick metal collar that adorned your neck off. It also rubbed against your skin to the point where it would also leave a scar. The rubbed raw skin burned whenever the cold metal hit against it. The cold rain barely soothed the pain. You didn’t see how that crazy bastard thought that it was a reward for good behavior. 

Once again, you felt your body freezing up. It had been getting colder, and you still had the same blankets you did when you were first thrown into this hell hole. Your hair was still slightly damp from the shower earlier, and it didn’t make you warmer either.  You could hear laughter and cheers coming from the floor above you.

‘Sounds like they're celebrating another successful raid. Gross.’ You could only think to yourself as the sounds grew louder and louder. How the hell were you supposed to sleep when they're practically screaming?

Just then, you could hear Kidd’s footsteps approaching the door. You take a deep breathe before getting ready to deal with your kidnapper once again. What could he want at this hour though? First his crew is partying late into the night and now he’s coming down to bother you? 

“Wake up, princess. I got you a present.” You could practically hear his sadistic smile from the other side of the door. The door unlocked, and you could see his outline. His shadow filled the small room. In his hand seemed to be a thick metal collar. A sinking feeling rose in your gut. What could he possibly want for making you wear that?

“What's that?” Your voice filled with venom despite trying to sound calm. You glared at the collar, hoping that it might explode. 

“Well since you’ve been such a good girl, I think you can take a break from the chains.” Your eyebrows raise in suspicion at his words.

“But you have to wear this.” He held up said metal collar with a smirk.

“If you even try to run, I can just drag you back to me. Of course, you wouldn’t get far, but if you do try anything, your going back down here. In the dark.” You run your options in your head. Even if it’s for a while, getting out of this room might save some of your dwindling sanity. At the same time, you’ll be stuck with him for even longer in the day.

“...Okay.” When the shackle fell from your ankle you swore you could feel a smile grace your lips. The raw skin finally free from the constant rubbing on the shackle. The smile was short lived though, cause just as soon as that piece of metal left, the metal collar wrapped around your throat. It was much lighter than you thought but it was still thick. Kidd grabbed your chin and made you face him.

“You look so much more pretty with that around your neck. Now, I can take you places. Doesn’t that sound fun, princess?” He laughed in your face before grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder. You yelp in surprise at the sudden action as Kidd makes his way out of the small room.  

While he locked the door, you took in your surroundings. You haven’t seen the outside of the room since you were originally put in there. Kidd always just came to you, so you forgot what outside the room looked like. That or Killer would blindfold you and take you to the showers before bringing you back. 

“Where are we going?” Your voice sounded like a whisper compared to the loud roars of laughter coming from the crew.  Kidd didn’t answer you regardless, which only made you frown.  You tried to commit every floorboard and hallway to memory as he took you to another room. It didn’t take long, but it felt like an eternity in your fear. 

When he opened the door to the other room, it was much bigger than the one you had just left. It had an actual bed, and clothes strayed all across the floor. Tiny metal trinkets scattered across shelves and a dresser.

‘Must be his bedroom…’ The door locked as soon as you were inside. Before you could say anything, Kidd dropped you onto the bed.

“Get comfy 'cause you're sleeping here tonight.” You didn’t say anything, only scooting closer to the top of the bed.  You were already in your pajamas, the warmest ones that Kidd had bought you. Well, more likely stole, but whatever. All your clothes were picked out by him, and you hated it. They all showed too much skin to your liking, and the pajamas weren’t any better. The warmest one was a T-shirt and fleece pajama shorts. Obviously not something that would create much heat. 

You threw the blankets over you and laid down on the bed, trying to avoid looking at your captor. The metal collar made it slightly uncomfortable, but you could still sleep with it on, no doubt. 

The feeling of the bed dipping down behind you made your breath hitch as you felt the covers move as well. A strong hand grabs your waist and pulls you closer towards the middle of the bed. A warm body was pressed against your back, and the smell of oil hit your nostrils. Another arm slithers under your body, and now you're totally trapped against his chest. 

“You smell so nice, princess. I could just eat you.” Kidd laughs as he lays his head between your head and shoulder. The metal collar against his face couldn’t be comfortable, but he didn’t say anything.

“Thank you…?” Despite the urge to ignore him, you don’t. You didn’t wanna freeze and maybe this could be used to your advantage. A way to escape!

You feel his lips kiss the exposed skin of your neck that the collar didn’t cover before feeling his lipstick run against your neck when he begins nibbling on the sensitive skin. You can feel him smiling, and the way his breath fanned your neck made goosebumps ghost your skin. 

A rough, calloused hand soon grabs the fat of your thigh before rubbing a circle on it with his thumb. The feeling of his hands holding you never failed to make you frown. You grit your teeth when you hear Kidd laugh against your skin. 

“Now that you're going to be out in public with me. I need the world to know who you belong to.” You can feel your throat going dry at the implications of his words and actions. Closing your eyes, you did your best to try imagining yourself home and in bed with your fiance.

He seemed to pick up that you were imagining you were anywhere else but here cause you soon felt his teeth dig into your skin harshly. You let out a cry from the pain and dig your nails into the bed sheets. Biting your lip, you try to ignore the throbbing the bite brought. 

The hand that wasn’t rubbing on your thigh moved under your shirt. Your heart beat rapidly the closer he got to your breasts. His cold hands felt like ice cubes running against your skin. Words of hatred rose in your throat as you tried to hold down the venom that bubbled inside you.

“A-Aren’t you tired from raiding? Maybe we should get some sleep, huh?” You tried to deter him from continuing his selfish desires. A soft ‘hmm’ came from his throat but was soon replaced with laughter.

“I think I’ll sleep better after fucking you on my cock. Plus, I’ve been thinking about fucking you stupid all day, princess.” Your heart dropped to your stomach at his confession. Every inch of your body went rigid when you felt his hand palm your breast. 

The hand that rubbed circles on your thigh soon moved up and played with the waistband of your shorts. Tears started streaming down your face at the feeling of his cold fingers dipping beneath the layers of clothes. 

~~~

You hated the way his room smelled. Oil and sweat seemingly infused with every object. Did he ever wash his clothes? It was to the point where you would have washed them with! The stench was unbearable!

Yet, you would still rather be here in a warm room than the freezing hell that was your old room. At least here, there was a thick comforter. Even though there was a bed that was much more comfortable than the floor, you'd rather lay on the ground than lay in a bed where you felt like your life was worth nothing. 

“God fucking damnit! Those fucking marines keep getting in my way!” All the blood in your body ran cold, hearing Kidd scream in rage. He was a whole other evil when his rage took over. Unfortunately, it was more often than you’d like. When he got like this, it felt like he viewed you as an enemy. You remember when he grabbed your arm before throwing you to the ground after accusing you of laughing at his failure. 

Or the time when he kicked you in the stomach so hard that you threw up. 

The bedroom door slammed open before Kidd slammed it shut again. You didn’t say anything, only looking at him to see his next move. He had some blood on his face that only made his rage more horrifying. 

“Fuck!” Grabbing a metal trinket, he threw it at his door. The impact was strong enough for it to get stuck in the door. You dug your nails into your palms as you looked at the door. There were already marks from when he’d throw knives at the door in anger. You swallowed the lump that seemed to get caught in your throat as you hesitantly turned your gaze toward Kidd.

“What the fuck are you staring at?!” Your heart froze as you hear him stomping towards you. A spurt of adrenaline kicked inside you as you tried moving backward away from him. It only served to make him madder cause he grabbed you by your foot and pulled you towards him.

“I said, what the fuck are you staring at?!” His hand grabbed the exposed part of your neck before squeezing. You tried kicking him, but he only lifted you up in the air. Tears rimmed your eyes as you try clawing at his hand, which only served to piss him off more.

“Your happy, aren’t you?! You think that marines are gonna catch me and you’ll be free?! Is that it?!” You tried shaking your head, but his grip was too strong. 

“I-I can’t….breathe… Kidd please…” Through your blurry vision, you can see the same amber eyes that haunted your nightmares. Even when your vision started to go black, you could see his eyes glowing.

“Stupid bitch!” You feel your body getting thrown and the grip on your neck gone. Yet not soon after, you feel your body colliding with the wall before falling on the floor. You could hear a crack ringing in your ears when your head hit the floor. 

Every inch of your body burned, and the slightest movement only doubled that. When you tried to open your eyes, your vision was blurry, and you could feel something cascading down your forehead. You couldn’t move your head, so all you saw was the dirty floor of the bedroom. 

It sounded like Kidd was trying to say something, but it was all just white noise. All you could hear was the ringing in your head and the feeling of your head throbbing. You feel your forehead is covered in something, but everything just seems like a blur. 

Kidd’s boots soon came into your sight as he kneeled down next to you. You feel his fingers glide through your hair before taking a fistful and lifting you up to face him. A searing pain vibrated through your body as you let out a pained cry. You try to move, but your body feels too bruised to even move in the slightest.

“Fucking pathetic! Why do I even keep you around when you're so fucking useless?!” Despite your blurry vision, his eyes managed to pierce through the blur. You try to talk, but nothing comes out, not even whimpers. 

“Hey! I’m talking to you! Don’t fucking ignore me!” The grip on your hair was replaced by him grabbing your face so you’d look at him. All you saw was a red blur with eyes glaring at you. All your strength disappeared, and you could feel yourself grow limp.

A deep urge to sleep soon took a toll as you felt your eyelids growing heavy. It felt like rocks were dragging them down, and no matter how hard you tried to keep them open. Even though you could feel yourself being shaken, you simply ignored the sensation. With a last flutter of your eyes, a black void soon swallowed 

You remember Killer telling you that you were out cold for a few days and what actually happened to you. Well, more like you had to hit it out of him. Kidd must have told him not to tell you, but in the end, you managed to get the truth after hitting him repeatedly and threatening to throw things at him. 

What he told you was that your body hit the ground hard enough for your skull to have a small fracture. 

It did manage to heal relatively well and at the predicted healing rate, but that didn’t mean anything to you. It wouldn’t have happened if Kidd didn’t use you as a personal punching bag. You remember the look in his eyes when he lifted you in the air and had his hand wrapped around your throat. It’s a look that still plagues your nightmares even to this day. You’re still fully convinced that he planned to kill you that day, but something stopped him. 

Those events only encouraged you to run as fast as your feet could carry you. 

The rain made it hard to stay on your feet even though you tried your hardest. There were times when your foot would slip, and you’d go crashing into the mud. It felt disgusting to have your body coated in seemingly cold slime. Your clothes were definitely done with after you found a place to safely hide and to get rid of them. 

If you were to look at yourself in a mirror right now, you’d probably look like a mudslide victim. The feeling of mud getting under your collar and rubbing against the raw skin burned like hell. You prayed that it wouldn’t get infected. 

~~~

He was acting more loving than normal. It was…unnerving.

Something must have changed inside of Kidd after he threw you against the wall. Because instead of just him using you for his own pleasure and using you as a punching bag whenever he got angry, he started acting like you actually meant something to him. Acting like he loved you.

The thought made you sick. It had to be some sick game he was playing.

Yet, here he was now, laying on your chest, giving you praises. Telling you that your such a good girl. That he chose the right one to have by his side. How you were so beautiful and that you made him so happy. 

He was acting vulnerable.

“I love you princess…” He buried his head in your chest. You knew he wanted to hear you say the same thing, but there was no way you were ever telling him that. Even if he gave you all the treasure in the world, you’d never say it. So all you did was run your fingers through his unkempt hair, thinking of questions to ask him, to try distracting him.

“How was the recent raid?”

“You should have seen how high the fires were. High enough to touch the clouds! Even those stupid marines couldn’t put out the flames!” His laughter made your heart constrict. You knew he was merciless when it came to his raids, but it simply reminded you of the horror that happened to your own town. You felt stupid for asking even though you should have known the answer.

“Was…the treasure good?”

“Not even worth a cent. They tried fighting us on it, so we had to teach them a lesson.” You let out a ‘hmm’ as you frown. A sudden weight was lifted off your chest as you saw him lifting his body up off yours. You weren’t complaining, but you wondered what was going on in that crazy head of his. 

The bed dipped on the side of you, and you felt Kidd grab you and pull you close to him. Your face was pressed against his chest, and your head was under his. The feeling of his lips kissing the top of your head only served to frown more. 

“Killer was asking me the other day when I plan on letting you go…” You could feel your eyes widen at his words. You haven’t begged him to let you go since you got the collar. Ever since you got the collar, you’ve just been plotting to get his trust and finding a way out. Maybe he figured out your plan? Yet surely, he will get rid of you someday, right? One day he’d get bored of you.

“...And I told him never.”

~~~

It felt like you’ve been running forever. You fear your body is giving up on you with how much slower you’ve been running. The thought that you might collapse soon without being in a safe place scared you cause what if he found you? You’d never see the light of day again.

Thankfully, you were out of the mostly dirt part of the forest. By now, there was actual grass, and you could see light in front of you. Tempting you, encouraging you to come closer, that your almost there. 

You picked up the pace, even though your body burned. Telling you that you couldn’t take it anymore. Yet you ignored the pain. 

You could see through the cloudy light that something colorful was up ahead. It wasn’t like any of the colors that the Victoria Punk wore. Instead, they seemed more lively. More friendly. Still, looks could be deceiving. Although, you would take anything over the ship you’ve been stuck on for the past year. 

When your feet hit the sandy beaches, you feel yourself crying even harder. Instead of fear, it was hope. You took a look at the ship, and once again, you’ve never seen such a unique ship. It was the complete opposite of the Victoria Punk. Instead of a skull, it had a cute little lion. It seemed just as big as the Victoria, if not maybe a bit bigger. Then again, you’ve only seen the outside twice.

The ship was out a bit, but it looked like it was still in shallow water. The anchor was down, so it looked like they weren’t moving anytime soon. That would give you enough time to swim over and scale up the side of the ship. If you could run along mud, sharp sticks, and rocks, you could definitely scale a boat. 

The water was cold when you first entered it. It made you shiver harshly, but you pushed through it. The salty water managed to clean off some of the mud that had stuck to your clothes. It felt refreshing when you dipped your head underwater for a second so you could feel the dirt on your face wash away too. 

When you did reach the ship, your feet still touched the ground, thankfully. It wasn’t that deep to your luck.  There were windows you could grab onto, but they were higher up than you could confidently grab. The only thing that would give you leverage was the barnacles that stuck to the lower side of the ship. You go to grab one, and only then did you feel how sharp they were. Biting your lip, you take a deep breath before actively grabbing onto the barnacles. 

Climbing the first few feet seemed torturous. You could feel them dig deep into your skin. They did end up leaving cuts that had you bleeding, but you were so close now, you weren’t gonna give up now. 

When you managed to grab the window and get a good grip, you let out a sigh of relief. With shaky arms, you pull yourself up. You swing your leg over the wall of the ship, and when you feel your feet touch the grass of the ship-

Grass?

Looking down, you see healthy green grass all across the deck. You can feel the grass brush against your feet. The small cuts on the bottom of your feet from the barnacles left small patches of blood on the grass. You’d have to look down on the grass for a few seconds if you wanted to see it. Maybe the rain will wash it away. You’d hate to bleed all over the boat of the people who would be your saviors. 

Suddenly, You hear voices in the distance. Fear fills your being as you quickly look around to find someplace to hide. Your gut told you to go up the stairs to the first door, so you quickly did. Trying not to make as much noise as possible. Who the voices belonged to, you didn’t know. But you weren’t gonna take the chance that it was Kidd and his goons. 

When you entered the room, you saw it was a kitchen. Your eyes scanned across the room to find a better hiding spot in said kitchen. A cabinet under the sink caught your eye, and you quickly tried to hide under it. But when you were about to close the door, you saw your bloody footprints leading right to where you were. You tried to wipe all the bloody footprints you could reach, but when you heard the sound of the treading through water and a ramp dropping, you quickly ducked inside your hiding spot.

You finally had time to think after you closed the small door. Thoughts of your escape through the forest, thoughts of the hell you experienced, and the thoughts of the man that let you free.

“I’m putting you in charge of her, alright? If I see a single scratch on her, I’ll have your head on a stick!” The man holding the chain that your collar was connected only nodded at Kidd.

“I’d come with your princess, but we need supplies. Plus, you’ve been a good girl. I know by now you won’t run away, right?”

“I won’t run at all. I can’t wait to see you later.” You sent a forceful smile his way, and he sent his smug one back. He turned around and started walking towards the ship where other crew mates were. Only when he left your sight is when your heart calmed down.

It was humiliating. Being chained up like this in public. You would’ve rather crawled in a hole and die then deal with the constant eyes staring at you. Nothing in this town made it worth the stares.

This town was known for having some of the best sweets, and Kidd thought that after so long of you not making a fuss or trying anything, that you were trustworthy enough to go out of the ship. Of course, he still had someone go with you. Just in case someone were to take you away from him.

“Is there someplace you want to go?” The man next to you finally cut the silence. You look up at him, and you notice that you’ve never met him. He was on your right side, and he looked almost just as tall as Kidd.  His hair was much longer, and he had what you guessed to be tattoos all across his arms and some on his face. His voice was much calmer than Kidd’s, and it was a definitely needed breath of fresh air. 

“Can we just walk?” He nodded, and you both started walking in the direction of the town. Hopefully, you’ll never come to this island again after this.

“What's your name?” The least that he could do is tell you his name so you at least know who’s dragging you around like a dog.

“Heat. Yours?”

“(Y/N). I guess Kidd doesn’t talk about me. ”

“Have you been on the ship this whole time? I haven’t seen you at all.”

“I’ve just been stuck below deck in the smallest room for about 6 months before Kidd decided that I’d been good enough to be locked up in his bedroom.” Your voice felt light as you try to explain.

“So, was it you he was yelling at and not him just talking to himself? And this collar thing isn’t some twisted kink I got roped into?” Disbelief dripped from his words, and all you could do was nod as you looked forward. You didn’t want him to see you tearing up.

“Yeah, it was me he was screaming at. He used to get really violent with me before my skull cracked. After that, he hasn’t done anything violent towards me. The collar thing is just a way to show ownership and that he can have control over me.”

“How long have you been… stuck on the ship?”

“Rough guess would be a little over a year maybe? I lost track of the date so I don’t know what month, day or year it is. Hard to keep track in the dark.”

“I see.” A small silence hovered over the two of you as the both of you walked around town. You mostly looked at the ground but every once in a while, you'd look at the man next to you. He always seemed to be deep in thought. You were curious as to what could be going on in his head but you just minded your own. This was your first time in the sun in so long, and you just wanted to soak it up as much as you could before you were stuck in the dark again.

The two of you turn a corner which leads you to the back alley of the town. On the other side of you was a forest that seemed so calm. It made you sad, so you tried to ignore it and go back into the sun, but of course, with your luck, you see the sun getting blocked by obvious rain clouds. You let out a few swears before continuing to walk, only to be stopped when you see Heat stopping in his tracks. Turning around, you give him a questioning look. 

“Come here.” Your heart beat rapidly at his request. Did you do something wrong? Was he gonna tell Kidd something? In fear of the following, you just did what he said and looked up at him. You see his hand move to the side of your collar, and you hear the sound of the chain unhooking, making your eyes widen.

Your hands immediately go to feel around your neck. The collar was still there, but the chain that was once hooked to you was gone. 

“Run. I don’t wanna see you back on the ship, do you understand?” Tears started pouring down your cheeks, and all you could do was look up at the man before wrapping him in a crushing hold.

“Thank you…thank you so much.” Your voice was barely a whisper before you took off into the forest. With your heart beating louder than ever, the sound of crunching leaves never registered. You move your gaze back to Heat for a second, and you see him standing in the same place you left him. Looking at the tree line before throwing the chain in the garbage and walking back towards the way you came.

You didn’t know what would happen to him when Kidd saw you were gone, but you only hoped that the man who saved you would be spared. 

With that thought heavy in your mind, you made sure that you weren’t gonna let his sacrifice be in vain.

Your mind was pulled out from your memories when you heard footsteps coming up the stairs, even through the rain. It felt like your heart jumped out of your chest when you heard the door to the kitchen open. You could feel your breath hitch.

“Sanji wouldn’t mind if I got a snack-AHHHHH!” The voice of what you assumed to be on the younger variety let out a wail after entering the kitchen. They must have seen the bloody footprints. They weren’t really hard to miss in the first place, then again.

“What the hell are you screaming about?” A deeper male voice rang through the kitchen, and that only made you cover your mouth, praying they didn’t hear your heavy breathing. More footsteps run up, and they slowly enter the kitchen.

“Is that blood?!”

“Why is there blood in my kitchen?!”

“It leads to that cabinet.” The monotone voice of a woman strikes fear inside you. Why did they have to find you so fast? How could you have been so unlucky?

The sound of footsteps coming closer to the small door made tears fall down your eyes. They weren’t even out to sea yet and they found you. Stupid barnacles and their sharp points. 

You feel your body freeze when your met with the face of a woman with beautiful blue eyes. Her blank face only made you cry harder.

“It's a woman. It seems both her hands and feet seem to be bleeding.” You try scooting closer to the back of the cabinet even though you only moved seemingly an inch. The faces of multiple people soon come into your view, and you’ve never felt so overwhelmed since the day you were captured.

“What are you doing on my ship?!” A man with jet-black hair and a straw hat pushes his way through everyone to get closer to your face.

You try to talk but all that came out were hard sobs. The sound of your voice cracking wile crying probably sounded like a whole other language. You couldn’t even see their faces anymore as the tears made your vision to blurry.

“Luffy! It’s obvious she’s hurt and scared! Be nice to a woman in need!” A man with blond hair violently kicked the man who just yelled at you. 

“We’re not gonna hurt you, your safe to come out.” From your blurry vision, you can see everyone backing up to give you room to come out. Taking a few breaths, you gently move your body out of the cabinet. You try to put your feet down to stand up, but it seems the adrenaline finally wore off. A sharp pain made you whimper and just continue sitting on the ground in the kitchen.

“I’m a doctor, so I can help you!” Wiping the tears from your eyes, you let a shaky smile spread across your face. 

~~~

The sun finally came back outside after what seemed like hours of you running through it. It felt so nice to be able to stand outside with the fear of being dragged back into the dark. The crew mates of the ship were kind enough to patch you up and let you hitch a ride to the next island they were docking at. 

You did tell them the basis of your story. Not all the gory details but enough. The little doctor named Chopper gave you some tips and scar cream to try and get rid of the scar on your ankle. He said he was going to look at the raw skin on your neck once you managed to get it off, which led to where you are now. Standing on the back of the ship, watching it slowly drift away from the island and waiting for the swordsman to cut it off.

“Okay, don’t move, or I’ll cut your head off.”

“That's not something you say to a woman, moss head!”  

“Just cut it off and stop arguing! God, your both children!” 

SHLINK

The sound of metal crashing to the ground had your legs feeling weak. For the first time in months, you finally feel like you can fully breathe. The sensation of air hitting the raw skin had your heart beating fast. 

You look down at the broken metal that laid in two pieces in front of your feet. Big globs of tears fall from your face and make a puddle on the ground. 

“Thank you! I cannot thank you enough!” You trap the green-haired man in a crushing hold as you repeat your thanks. Grabbing the metal scraps, you run towards the back railing, and with all your strength, you throw it off the ship. The sight of it barely making it to fall on the sandy beach let you know that after all the hell you’ve experienced, you were finally going to be okay. Soon enough, the waves would take the metal and drag it to the depths.

“Alright, everyone! We’re on our way to the Sabaody Archipelago!” All the crewmates aboard the ship celebrated the new chapter they were about to open. You couldn’t help but celebrate along, as this would also be a new chapter for you-

“(Y/N)!” Your heart stops at the sound of a familiar scream. Turning around, you see the devil himself running out of the woods. The broken collar in his hand. You feel your heart drop thinking about that if you hadn’t gotten that cut off sooner, that would have been you in his grip.

The celebration of the crewmates left your mind as you see Kidd running towards the ship your on, only to be stopped by the salty water that protected it. You were far enough to that if he tried to get in the water, he’d definitely drown for sure. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear him.

Gripping the railing, even from so far away, you feel his haunting eyes staring at you. Your throat seems to go dry as you see more of his goons appear from the woods. To your relief somewhat, you see Heat still alive and walking. At least your savior wasn’t hurt.

Even so, you continued to look at Kidd, and you knew he was looking at you. It felt like getting rid of a life-threatening illness and seeing him grow farther and farther into the distance. It felt like you were healing.

“You can run and hide (Y/N), but you’ll always belong to me!”

Then again, illness comes back when your least expect it.

#one piece x reader #eustass captain kid x reader #eustass kid x reader #tw: violence #tw: abuse #tw: bl00d #dark content things #tw: noncon

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

AI Bracket — Round 2

Propaganda

Imogen (Stellar Firma):

#IMOGEN 💥💥💥💥💥 #she invented a guy to just put them in situations that she couldnt do herself bcs she is . an ai . #she gave this guy to the most horrific man known to anyone and the only help she gave him was . giving him almost the same rights as humans #not according to anyone else but to her yeah #shes an ai who didn't want to work for big evil human corp so she made a guy who could let her not do that #i love her sm #i cannot hear the words ' watch it buster ' without thinking of her #shes soooooo <33333 #man i should relisten to stellar firma i miss her

The Audio Tour Guide AKA Mistholme (The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality):

The ATG is a sentient museum audio tour guide for a museum full of spooky artifacts. It is both completely lovely and kind of bitchy

Sentient AI who is a real sweetie. Got pulled into too many adventures after the museum went on lockdown. Gives tours most of the time but is also the museum now and oversees daily goings on

A magic/tech hybrid AI exploring its own personhood and sentience as it grows. Could easily take over the museum it has become a part of but is a very kind soul. Most demanding it has ever been was convincing its friend to pat a cat for it.

It's a tour guide in an alternatural museum. After facing some challenges and dealing with huge problems, guide learns new things about itself and the world around it and makes new friends. Its woe is trusting people (or not only people), forgetting that they might have bad intentions. Guide is the bestest friend ever.

Where do I even begin? The Guide literally exists on those audio tour devices, go look it up its so cute. It had to deal with its growing sentience and new emotions basically on its own. Was treated terribly by the human museum staff and it had to basically debate them until they accepted its new-found personhood (but it still uses it/its yayy)(the staff have since apologized for their actions and treat it equally now). At some point it was hooked up to the museum mainframe which was supposed to be temporary, but as it turns out The Guide is actually great at running the museum and would like to stay this way. This eventually leads to a small identity crisis since it now sees itself as the museum itself, and its consciousness and responsibilities are a lot grander than when it was just a tiny little tour device. But it's figuring that out, and it still likes being the museum, thus The Guide also counts as a sapient location! It becomes besties with a creepy bloodthirsty creature because they share the struggle of being constantly dehumanized. It fucked around with the fae and found out. It has to deal with time travel bullshit. It loves cats! It got to hang out with the embodiment of knowledge itself. And did I mentioned that throughout all of this it still gives museum tours to guests?!! what a cool guy!

Guide my beloved <3 (platonic)

#AI Bracket Round 2 #The Audio Tour Guide #Mistholme #Imogen #I.M.O.G.E.N. #Imogen Stellar Firma #The Mistholme Museum #The Mistholme Museum of Mystery Morbidity and Mortality #Stellar Firma

[starsomens]

𝕂𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕟

Finding out

I write about Eden a lot however Keaton was your first baby. This happened about a year and a half after you and Noah had gotten married, find out that you are pregnant with your first baby! And that was Keaton :)

Of course, you both were aware of the risk since you guys didn’t use a lot of protection during the first year of marriage and you’re OK with that. During this pregnancy, you both actually had noticed you’re missing period

It was about nine at night after I got home from the studio, when you had told him you were feeling a little weird and you had your suspicions so you both take a trip to the convenience store and buy two boxes of tests just because there were such things as false positives and you wanted to be sure of the results

This was a somewhat planned pregnancy. You knew the risks that would happen and you both came to an agreement that if you did fall pregnant you’d take it as it was and be happy about it

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“ so you can watch me pee on a stick?”

Well, he seen more than that already but you were sure he was just nervous.

He was. He paced, he sat on the couch for like 3 minutes, got up and listened to the bathroom door. Deadass looked up long long a pregnancy test took and went to knock on your door

“Baby? Are you okay? Do you need any help or-“ you opened the door and you swore you saw how panicked he was

“Noah, honey I’m fine…..I haven’t looked yet” you said as you hand him the rest that was wrapped back in the wrapper

“Oh okay….hey it’s okay, we’ll open it together” we both stood there in a space to move while he takes test out of the wrapper and flips it.

“ITS POSITIVE OH MY GOD-“

You were running around the house not finding a better way to get your energy out

“Baby? Baby, we’re gonna…we’re gonna HAVE a baby. Oh god….a baby!” Then Noah started running after you and finally caught you in a Hug

“Wow…..Noah…I’m….im pregnant!”

“You are princess” he just starts kissing the top of your head and nuzzling you. He then pulls back and comes down to your belly button and you can feel your cheeks blush

“Hey there, I’m your….dad! Or I’m gonna be your dad…..yeah…..I’m gonna be your dad”

He now has a habit of rest his head on your stomach. He feels closer to you and the baby, that wasn’t even the size of a strawberry at the moment.

I don’t really see him as someone made the appointment because he was so excited

“ when is your next earliest appointment?….mhm… at 2? That’s perfect. I can come in with her right? Okay thank you.”

While you waited for your appointment, a lot of symptoms at first, but the closer the day the more nauseous you were feeling. And of course on the date of appointment was when you first experienced morning sickness, and it was awful.

You were very close to canceling the appointment and going on a different day. However, if it wasn’t for Noah helping you out and soothing your nausea you would’ve just crawled back into bed.

1st trimester

Noah has big hands and he put those big hands to use. He holds your hair back with one hand and he rubs circles on your back with the other.

While you brush your teeth from the nasty bitter flavor, he wants to get you some water. the kids make sure you drink all the water

He was very excited for the first appointment, and since this was your first child, he took every pamphlet on any kind of information that you guys would need it. He’ll just read out all the facts to you while you’re waiting in the room for your doctor

He may have went a bit over his head with how much you’d be able to see at this point but still amazing that the tiny little blob on the screen would soon become your baby

“

“I’d say you’re just about tipping 2 weeks. Still a early on, so you should still enjoy this wonderful early symptoms unfortunately”

You had never seen him so focused as he looked at the screen and subconsciously played with your fingers.

You had never seen his eyes sparkle as much as they did when you had gotten a small sonogram of your first appointment. He was all smiles and was already clearing days so he’d be able to come to the appointments with you.

Time was your first baby.

Nothing I’d put out

Everything is kept LOWKEY, UNDER WRAPS, IN PRIVATE

The only people who knew were the boys and direct management so they knew about any kind of up coming appointments, or change of plans and dates. He was already protective of you but now you’re carrying a baby! Your baby!

He just feels the need to keep you safe and comfortable and secure

Definitely takes pictures each week that passes to document progress and of course create memories to look back on. Works on a top secret project in his studio for the baby as well. He makes a video documentary for the baby, starting from when he found out and every time you have a milestone

2nd trimester

3 months down, 6 to go!

Your morning sickness is finally easing up and you can actually get up in the morning and get your things done.

Or can you?

Aside from the morning sickness finally subsiding you’re not just very sleepy and you love to take morning naps preferably right after you wake up if you’re a stomach sleeper, Noah is definitely making sure that you’re starting to sleep on your sides or on your back. He’s already offered to buy you a pregnancy pillow so that you can avoid sleeping on your stomach, even though your bump is still not showing.

You’ll get bloated from something you eat and your baby girl over it and you kinda have to ruin the moment. It’s just food, but that’s what it would look like.

His wish does come true. Once you get into your five month mark you start showing and he is over the moon about it. If you scroll through his gallery, it’s a bunch of pictures of your bump from different angles his favorite one, that is now his wallpaper is a picture of you on the sofa with a bullet chips. Stuffing your face while his head is in your lap and he took a picture from that angle and he is in love with it.

The first trimester, it is a time where you both agree to tell anyone else that you are close with meaning any kind of family or very close friends from either one of your sides. You also start to rearrange things in the house. Luckily, you did have an extra room that was mostly being used for storage than Noah was starting to clean out to turn into a nursery.

And has pitched the ideas to his team to make clothes from the band

So that he can start with his baby and he could look hard-core

He definitely does his research and wonders if his type of music would be great for development for the baby to hear. Either way he does sing to your baby bump. Whether it’s songs in general that everyone knows or songs that he and the band wrote.

For sure, seeing because in a sense, he wants them to know that since the day they were conceived, he would be there for them and even beyond

You’ve also noticed faster when his face is right up against your bump, which sometimes is a little uncomfortable for you, but you don’t have the heart to move in because he looks so content and happy

No, you also went to your OB/GYN and heard the heartbeat and this man started crying in the examination room. of course it was all real from the start, but once he heard the heartbeat, it really just made things so real for him. And yes, he does document this in the video that he’s creating. He also asked the doctor if he could record the heartbeat and he has three different versions of them, he sends them to the guys so that they can hear the sound and also so that he can brag about his baby having a great heartbeat.

This heartbeat will appear in any songs that he makes in his fact in his mind he wanted to be beat for every song in the next album that he makes, but you didn’t argue with him on it saying that it might make the song sound repetitive. Which he argues.

“ there is nothing better than heartbeat. If people don’t like it they obviously have some questionable taste”

Is just completely infatuated with your baby from day one which is something that honestly warms your heart and you couldn’t wait to see him as a dad in action if he was being a great dad now

Really do love to watch how he builds and paints the nursery. He doesn’t let you do anything because he doesn’t want you breathing in the harsh chemicals of whatever he’s using and because he he just wants you to rest and let the baby grow. He said your job was to grow the baby and let him take care of you. Which honestly you cannot argue on. It sound of like a great deal.

You guys paint the nursery, a neutral color only because you wanted the sex of your baby to stay a surprise until the day that they’re born so every time you go to your appointment, he makes sure to say no gender please when he enters the room by now all of thenurses, assistance, doctors they all say the most proud father they have ever met, whose baby isn’t even born yet it’s very charming.

He has definitely put in paternity leave already for when after you give birth so he doesn’t even have to worry about going back in to work so soon because he wants to help you out at home once the baby arrives.

When you guys do laundry, definitely separate some clothes into your pile because he knows those are most comfortable for you now. He also loves seeing how big his clothes were on you and how your bump would poke out of his clothes.

Whenever you guys do go to bed, he has a ritual where he says good night to both of you, you eat get kisses good night and I don’t mean a single kiss I mean being smothered by his kisses. Also, he likes to shower with you before bed to help relax you. He massages and washes your back and he goes few too many times over your bump because he likes to feel it

Night and if you ask him what he’s doing, he’ll tell you that he’s having a private conversation with your baby 

But you do pretend to be asleep so that you can hear these infamous conversations, and you were nearly caught because you had a hold in your sniffs because you just want to cry after hearing what he said

“ we are so excited for you to come. I think I’m more excited than Mommy is….. you’re going to love her. She’s amazing, she’s smart and she’s pretty. I hope you have her eyes, and her cute nose, and I hope you laugh like her too…”

3rd trimester

With this pregnancy you showed very little in the first half but now that you’re in the third trimester you really started showing it was like one day you had a little bloating and now it’s like a full-blown baby bump and it was like a huge change for you

he adjusts his cooking for your cravings and what your scene of smell can handle, but he makes sure everything is nutritious and makes sure you take your prenatal vitamins with your meals.

yes, he will get up at 5 am and make you a grill cheese with some chips on the side if that's what he princess wants

But this also means that the baby has started kicking! Every chance he gets Noah is touching your bump (when isn’t he??)

Definitely tried to provoke the kicks and innocent forgets that it kinda hurts you "wow babe did you see that one? That was a huge stretch"

"Yeah, felt it too"

He is also the only one who can get the baby to relax when you couldn't sleep or even sit still because of the kicking and moving and there are 2 version! When he's loving and more strict about it

"hey, hey, hey what's with the party? Having a dance party in there huh? How about let mama sleep for first, then you can party okay?"

Or

"hey, it's 3 am, your mom is overstimulated and needs sleep, which means you should sleep too,"

He lathers you in coco butter and lotion after your showers and massages your hips, back and feet

10/10 pregnancy because he made it barrable

Birth

I've said this somewhere and can't remember where, your pregnancy went according to the due date.

Labor started the day before your due date and delivery was on the day of the due date you were given. Baby, right on time!

Noah had your hospital bag packed and near the hall closet near the door, packed with EVERYTHING you'd need. Towels, clothes, shoes, socks, snacks, chargers, camera, extra underwear, his clothes also if you wanted them instead, hair and skin products, EVERYTHING

Now Noah has done his research and is knowing what to expect for labor. Yes, he watched birthing videos, however while you were pushing he peaked and you SWEAR this man became paler

"A-are you okay-"

"fine. Just focus on breathing okay?" despite his shock or nerves, the main focus was on YOU and the baby,

holds your hand, ties up your hair, gives you water, and anything you asked for

P A I N, because you thought it would be a good idea to experience "raw natural birth" but unfortunately once you broke it was a bit too late for any medication. You were honestly ready to punch Noah for saying

"Should have taken it when we got here," he was joking but he was honestly very anxious about the pain you were feeling burr he knew you needed him to be your support

"Come on baby you got this" "good job, take your time, you're doing great" "You're so strong Y/N...you're almost there"

Once the baby is born and crying NOAH IS CRYING

IT'S A BOY. You're crying and Noah is kissing your head and just spilling his guts out "Baby you did amazing!" "I'm so proud of you Y/N" "He's so perfect Y/N,"

Now you had discussed that if it was boy you would honor his best friend Keaton by giving him his name. You thought it was just so sweet and meaningful and you knew it would be so important to Noah you saw nothing better than that

Keaton was born in late October, so he is born as the next Sassy Sebastion Scorpio as discussed with @darling-millicent-aubrey

Noah constantly says he isn't crying but he is, while you're resting he's just admiring Keaton and speaking to him softly

"hey buddy...oh look at you, kinda feel bad you looks like me more than your mom, but you're so perfect....I love you Keaton.....so much"

And you? Ugh....when he'd look at you, all he'd see was an absolute champion, a goddess...his wife and best friend who had just went through something so big like pregnancy and labor to bring your son into the world

"Y/N....thank you," he caresses your hand with his thumb while he held Keaton in his other arm "Thank you so much baby.....I love you."

「🍼taglist」: @badomensls @darling-millicent-aubrey @lma1986 @sanchez099 @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @flowery-mess @veronicaphoenix @malerieee

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian x reader #noahsebastian #bad omens #The Dad Series✨ #bad omens fanfiction #badomens #bad omens cult #bad omens fic

[mhalachai]

some of you may have seen a notice today from a tumblr-popular youtube show, saying they're putting all their content behind a subscriber paywall. This post isn't about them per say, only bouncing off what that has brought up into the following:

When is a digital subscription something i'm willing to pay for? Rubric edition

Disclaimer - my first news job was in the early aughts at a digital stock news company, so I've been keeping an eye on this subject for over 25 years.

So you want to access an entertainment or news service that has content behind a subscriber paywall. What steps should you go through, to figure out if it's something that you should pay for?

This post will go off the caveat that artists/authors/reporters (I'm not calling them content creators, that term is garbage) should be properly compensated for the works they produce, and the current business model in our late-stage capitalist society means we all have to deal with the worst possible way of engaging with art - the subscription-model paywall. It's a terrible garbage system but there we are.

Step Zero: Do you care enough about the content to consider paying for it?

It might not be important enough to you to want to pay for, and that's okay. On the other hand, you may want to continue watching/reading/listening, either because of the content itself or because you want to support its creation.

(I'm separating the above as they are two different reasons - personally, i'm in favour of paying an annual subscriber fee to my small local news room to keep them in producing the content because I think it's important they exist.)

Step 1: Can you literally afford it?

Everything costs more and salaries aren't rising. If the answer to the question is no, can you split the cost with someone? Is it something that can be accessed through your local library (in terms of audiobooks or magazine/newspapers)? Otherwise, moving to:

Step 2: Is the cost of the subscription in line with what you're willing to pay for the content?

I still subscribe to the newspaper i used to work for - I can read all the news and get all the quotes I'm interested in, and I know i'm supporting local news. I'm willing to pay money for that.

On the other hand, back last year when Disney Plus announced it was raising its prices, I decided that I wasn't interested in paying that amount for what I was getting, so I cancelled that one. Do I miss it? Yes, somedays. Would I go back to them if the cost went down? Honestly I don't know.

Step 3: Did the company/channel do something to lose your trust?

Sometimes, all the above have been met with the affirmative, but something about how the company is doing things sets your teeth on edge. Maybe it's how their business model is evolving, or how they treat their customers (Netflix and their password sharing crackdown was that tipping point for me - i no longer wanted to support a company that sees its customer base like that). Maybe it's how they decided to move to subscriber-only. Maybe it's their take on geopolitical or social issues. Whatever it might be, you get to make that call for you.

Summation: Don't feel pressed by FOMO to pay for something when you're not comfortable doing so.

Whatever the situation is, you get to decide where you spend your money. The corollary of that is that you may not get to see the new stuff created by companies/channels that you like, but honestly? That trade-off might be better for you in the long run (and I'm saying this with too many years of regret behind me) nothing poisons the enjoyment of art more than feeling like you were forced to pay/pay more for it than you were OK with.

The tl;dr: Take a step back and see if you're really comfortable with paying for all your electronic subscription fees for news or entertainment. Don't feel pressured into paying for something you don't really want to see, or what to support. Consider where you want your money to go.

It's hard economic times - do what you need to, and spend your money where you want to.

(And check into what your local library has on offer - they may have streaming services or digital content you weren't aware of - might be enough to tide you over for a while).

#mhalachai has opinions on the internet #seriously tho #feeling like you're being forced or tricked into paying more for something that you reasonably can #poisons the well like nothing else #this post deliberately doesn't mention off-book ways of getting content #you can all figure that one out on your own

[onskepa]

No problem at all sweetie<3

Btw, can I get a part 2 (since you said I can) for neteyam x short human fem reader? The little human who is no taller than 5 feet and has Neteyam as her mate. Could they have a playful fight?? Pretty please

Yes! Absolutly! I did my best in describing the actions but I hope it is to everyones satisfaction! Enjoy!

Hi'i

-----------------

Hi'i: A little tug here, a little pull there

[idk but it felt right]

In Pandora, many dangers lie in the lands, skies and the sea. Predators on the lookout for their next hunt. Their next target. 

For some prey, being small has many advantages. Better to hide, better to blend in with the environment, better to survive. Can easily navigate through tight areas and avoid bigger threats all together. 

Being small definitely has its perks. And more when fighting back against their enemy. Be fighting in groups or fighting solo, being small is mighty. So when a predator is out looking to strike, the prey will always launch in the most unexpected ways. 

“I got you!” 

“Dang it hi’i!” 

What do couples do for fun? Well many go out explore things outside, create fun activities, spend some quality time. Or maybe just enjoy each other's presence. 

But for neteyam and hi’i?

Fighting. 

Playful fighting to be exact. 

And it is always so much fun. Of course neteyam has to be mindful of how small hi’i is. He doesn't even have to use his full strength to easily push her down. But he is always gentle and careful, even when play fighting with her. Would even purposely let her win and take him down as she cheers. 

Her happiness is his greatest victory. 

So when hi’i jumps on him, climbs or tug his tail, neteyam will admit his defeat. 

“You know nete, I am starting to think you are letting me win” Hi’i accused him one day as they lay in the soft grass on a bright afternoon. Her head lay on his chest. Playing with his necklace. 

“What makes you think that?” Neteyam asks. 

“Well, everytime we ‘fight’ I come out as the winner. And you always lose” Hi’i answers as she boops his nose. Neteyam twitched his nose a bit but smiled nonetheless. 

“Well if I win, it wouldn't be a fair fight would it? I can easily take you down and it won't take that much energy to do so” he replies. Huffing a bit, narrowing her eyes in a playful manner, “oh yeah? Just because you are big?”. 

Neteyam flashed her a handsome smirk showing his fangs, hi’i blushed like crazy and covered her face while making incoherent sounds. This little action made neteyam laughing, really, anything hi’i does is just too cute for him. “See? I didn't even have to move. And look at you, all blushing for me~” he says while tugging a stand of her hair. 

Removing her hands from her face, hi’i stares at him straight in the eyes. Neteyam knows that look. Determination and a new goal all is she has in her mind now. “Alright, let's go at it again. And this time, don't hold back, oh wait never mind you are big. Okay, just use a bit more force than usual. I am still tiny” Hi’i bets. 

Already getting pumped up, hi’i gets off of his chest and starts to pull his arm to get up too. “Are you sure? I dont want to hurt you” Neteyam hesitates. Hi’i scoffs confidently, “positive! Now, come on you big bone! Ready, set, go!”. 

With a quick tap at his arm, hi’i makes a run for it. Neteyam chuckles at her actions. Shaking his head as he gets up, he stretches, getting ready. 

Seems he has a little prey to catch.

Soft giggles were heard, and rustles of the leaves shifted. Seems like hi’i does want to be found. “Ma’yawntutsyip, is this how you plan to hide? I can hear you loud and clear” Neteyam calmly says. His ears twitching to the source of the sounds. Hi’i is good at hiding, but to make herself known is unlike her. 

“I really don't see the point of-” 

Next thing neteyam knew, he was on his knees, hitting the ground floor. Grunting in the few seconds of pain, he controls his balance. 

“YES!” a cheer was heard from hi’i as she jumps from a high root. Smiling triumphantly, she walks to neteyam. “How was that? Bet you were surprised” she asks neteyam in a playful smug way. 

“Indeed, it was surprising, but you missed something,” Neteyam says, silently getting ready. 

Hi’i raised a brow, “Missed what?” 

“This” 

Putting some weight on his knees, he lunged forward and lifted hi’i up from the ground, spinning her a bit making her squeal in glee. Carefully holding her by the hips, he swings her around and lifts her up in his arms as he fully stands. 

“I see how it is! Take this!” Hi’i challenges. 

Crawling around all over his body, hi’i playful tugs on his braids and tail. Would tease him by whispering in his ear. For neteyam, it was a bit ticklish. Hi’i can easily maneuver around his body like a little gremlin. To which some degree, she can be when she feels like it. 

“Hey, come on!” 

Easily grabbing hi’i by her ankle, he lifts her up in the air. Pulling her away from his body. “Hey! I was just getting started!” hi’i groans as she weakly grabs for his shoulders. Chuckling, he sways her a bit, “you wanted a challenge no? So, now you got it. Don't complain”. 

Letting out a war cry, hi’i swings her free leg to wrap around neteyam’s wrist and climb on his arm. Being careful, she goes to his back and makes sure his kuru isn't being harmed. 

“Who says I'm complaining~?” She whispers to him in his ear. Neteyam knows that hi’i knows whispering his ears is too much. A little weakness he hates to admit. 

“Fine then” 

He rolls down on the floor, making hi’i yelp. She let go for a moment, but it was enough for neteyam to grab her wrist. Pinning her to the ground, facing each other as they huff, catching their breaths. 

He takes a moment to admire hi’i cute face. Her sparkling eyes, cute nose and those beautiful lips. Honestly, it would be a bit cruel if he won their fight. 

“Nete, now isn't the time to stare at me. I know I look good but c’mon!” Hi’i says, breaking him out of his trance. Using her legs, she pushed him off. Turning him on to his stomach, she climbed on top. 

“And stop making it easy!” 

Alright, be careful what you wish for. 

Quickly getting up, he makes hi’i fall on her bum and turns to throw some light punches at her. This is what hi’i wanted, something to challenge her strength! 

“That is what I'm talking about!” She says gleefully. 

Keeping her composure, hi’i goes under him and pulls on his tail making him hiss, but not in pain. She makes a run for it, making neteyam go around in circles. “Hold still!” he hisses. This makes her laugh loudly, “never! I will keep moving!”. 

It was like that for a few hours. A little tug here, a little pull there, getting some laughs from each other. But did hi’i win? Well she isn't sure of standing on neteyam’s chest shouting her victory counts since neteyam went easy on her. Again. 

Aaaaaaaaand that is it for this one! Describing actions isnt my toughest style of writing but I hope everyone likes it! until next time! see ya!

#avatar #avatar the way of water #na'vi x reader #na'vi avatar #avatar 2 #na'vi x human #lo'ak #neteyam sully #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x oc #omatikaya clan #neteyam fluff #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #atwow neteyam #avatar way of water

[jedi-enthusiast]

Ok, I know that I already reblogged @antianakin's post about why Anakin didn't need to murder an entire Tusken village because 2-3 of them killed his mom (original post here), but I just feel the need to talk about one of the most damning examples of why Anakin has no excuse for that response.

Post Order 66 Jedi/Clone interactions.

Let's just say, for the sake of the argument, that the entirety of the Tusken village--including the literal babies and children--all took part in the torture/murder of Shimi Skywalker. No exceptions.

Anakin's response to his mother's death is to murder everyone with no remorse or a second thought. Even when he confesses what he did to Padme, the RotS novel clearly shows that he doesn't actually feel bad about what he did. Most of his worry is about what others will think of him and, ironically, about how he's a "good Jedi" that should be better than this.

Now let's move on...

Every clone took part in Order 66 in some way.*

The clones murdered every single Jedi they could in cold blood (albeit without a choice), including the children, with only a miniscule few survivors. How many do we canonically have right now that didn't get captured and become Inquisitors? Obi-Wan, Quinlan, Cal, Caleb/Kanan, and Gungi are all I can think of at the moment.** That's 5 Jedi, out of thousands, that survived--and that's not even mentioning the destruction of their places of worship/cultural artifacts and the shitty propaganda spread about their culture.

* I'm not including the Bad Batch because, my own opinions about the show/characters/writing/etc. aside, we can all agree that the only reason their chips didn't activate was because they're Filoni's beloved OCs and he has a habit of trying to make his OCs "special" in some way.

** I'm not including Ahsoka in this because, like she says repeatedly as of Season 7 of TCW onward, she isn't a Jedi and doesn't see herself as such--and for the same reason I'm not including Grogu, since he's like...a Mandalorian apprentice now and not technically a Jedi. I'm also not including Luminara because she eventually gets captured and killed pretty early on and I'm trying to only include Jedi that are alive for a significant amount of time in the Imperial Era.

So, how do the Jedi treat the clones after they murder their entire family and destroy their culture? Let's look!

-----

Example One:

Obi-Wan Kenobi never learns about the inhibitor chips, as of current canon. He is 100% under the impression that Cody and the 212th (as well as all of the other clones) just up and betrayed him and the Order for no reason. He also watched the security tapes that, yes, showed Anakin killing children, but also would have shown the clones killing Jedi as well.

In the Kenobi show he runs into a clone veteran of the 501st--a veteran who, in all likelihood, probably stormed the Temple and was a part of its destruction.

Does he spit in the clone's face? Call him a murderer? Kill or harm him in any way?

Nope!

He gives the veteran some of his credits, even though it's made a point in the show that Obi-Wan is now working with limited funds and is very poor at this point in time. He doesn't have credits to spare and he is supposed to be looking for Leia, but he takes a moment to give some to someone who took part in the genocide of his people.

He also routinely thinks about Cody and the 212th in the comics! He remembers them fondly and still connects Cody to the feeling of hope, even though they tried to kill him! Even though he has no idea that they never wanted to!

-----

Example Two:

Kanan Jarrus/Caleb Dume knows about the inhibitor chips, but in Rebels it's made very clear that he thinks that it's just something the clones made up so that they didn't have to take responsibility for their actions.

In Rebels, Ahsoka makes the (objectively bad) decision to send Kanan out to find her "old friends" to help the rebellion.*** Kanan then finds out that her "old friends" are three clones, only after he gets there and sees them. He reacts in a panic and ignites his saber, clearly freaking out a bit.

*** I'll probably expand on this later, because I have a lot of opinions on this particular decision of hers, but anyway-

Does he try to hurt and/or kill them? Do they have to fight him off? Does he even lunge in their direction or deflect Wolffe's blaster bolt at him?

Again, nope!

He steps in front of Ezra in a defensive position and, when shot at by Wolffe, deflects the bolt into their ship. Then, when Ezra steps in and says that Ahsoka said to trust them, Kanan de-ignites his saber and they all have a conversation about them helping in the rebellion--even though Kanan clearly doesn't trust them at all and is dealing with his PTSD while being there. Eventually he even comes to get along with/trust Rex, albeit in later episodes.

-----

Example Three:

Gungi, in the Bad Batch, meets up with the Batch and immediately recognizes them as clones. Now, we don't know his opinion on them and their betrayal because it's never really expressed, but it's safe to assume that he has no idea about the chips (at least, until Tech tells him) and it's clear that he's very scared at that point in time.

What does he do?

He hides in the corner of the ship and is wary about the food they offer to him.

That's literally it.

And then later in the episode he works together with TBB and trusts them enough to let them help defend his village.

-----

So, even with most of the Jedi either having no idea about the chips or likely doubting that story, we're shown over and over again that the Jedi never seek revenge against the clones or try to kill them after Order 66. Even though their lives were ruined by what the clones did/took part in, they're never shown to be actively trying to cause them harm.

So there is literally no way you could possibly justify Anakin killing an entire village of Tuskens because of his mother's death, when--in arguably the same/a worse situation--the Jedi are actively shown not doing that.

#in conclusion: Anakin sucks #star wars #sw prequels #the clone wars #star wars rebels #the bad batch #pro jedi #in defense of the jedi #jedi appreciation #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker critical #anti anakin apologists #obi wan kenobi #kanan jarrus #caleb dume #tbb gungi #ahsoka tano #commander cody #captain rex #jedi enthusiast's fandom debates

[ladykailitha]

Grief (A Friend Indeed) Part 12

And here we are at the end. Thank you so much for being on this journey with me.

Here we have Steve's POV of the last scene from last week, he talks to Hopper and Steve's uncle further proves he'd be a better parent than Clint Harrington.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11

****

Steve watched Eddie march to the truck and let out a shuddering breath. He thought that they had really connected here. But now as they were going back to Hawkins it appeared that Eddie was just going to leave that here in Ashland.

He got to his car and looked at the sad little cooler and just lost it. He started cursing and hitting the steer wheel.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he hissed. “You never did hear a name, did you, Harrington? Apparently he was in love with someone else all this time and was only being nice because you were having a mental break down.”

He could feel the tears stream down his face. Bitter and angry. “You should have been supporting him not the other way round. That’s probably why he’s soooo pissed at you. Because he was grieving and you made it all about you. Like you always do. Fuck!”

Just then the passenger side door was wrenched open and Eddie slid in.

The tears dried up instantly in his surprise. “Eds?”

And then Eddie proceeded to just knock all his intrusive thoughts out of the fucking ballpark. Just sent them running like a scared dog with its tail between its legs.

Then kissed him about it.

They still needed to have a proper conversation but that could wait until they were back in Hawkins.

Steve could live with that.

*

When they got home they had that talk. Eddie learned about all the different girls who had propositioned him and was pissed on his behalf.

“That’s fucking bullshit,” he said. “You shouldn’t have had to deal with that.”

Steve shrugged. “You had enough on your plate. Plus, I sicced Uncle Danny after them.”

Eddie blinked. “Oh. I think I would have paid good money to see that.”

“I didn’t have to send anyone after Beth though,” Steve said with a grin, “Lauren did that all on her own.”

“I’m so glad you two got along,” Eddie murmured. “But in the future, you tell me these things. I want to protect you, the way you protect everyone else, okay?”

Steve agreed.

Wayne walked into the new house provided by the government, wiping his hands on an old rag.

“Everything is in the garage for us to sort and place later,” he told Eddie.

“You two going to be wanting help getting everything in?” Steve asked.

Wayne shook his head. “Lauren and her Uncle Hal are coming out next week to help out.”

Eddie ran his tongue over his teeth thoughtfully. “Yeah? I didn’t hear about that.”

Wayne had the presence of mind to blush. “It must have slipped my mind.”

“Uh-huh,” Steve and Eddie said together.

Wayne cleared his throat. “So I’m going to be seeing you a lot more now that you and Ed are together?”

Steve grinned, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist and putting his head on his shoulder. “I’ll be here so often, you’ll think I live here.”

Wayne hummed. “We’ll come back to that in a few months.”

Eddie blushed. “Nice to know you aren’t planning the wedding already, old man.”

Wayne blinked innocently. “Oh I am, but I’m thinking fall of next year or the year after.”

Eddie coughed and sputtered as Steve laughed.

He turned to Steve. “Why aren’t you defending me against this?” He waved at Wayne’s smug expression.

“Because I’m already coming up with arguments for a late spring early summer wedding instead.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped. “That’s some confidence you got there, darlin’. What makes you think I’ll say yes.”

Steve kissed him, slow and searing.

Eddie blushed. “Yup. Okay. Uh-huh. Point made.”

Wayne just smiled fondly.

*

Steve was really starting to regret setting the party on his Uncles Percy and David.

Robin, El, and Will had kidnapped Percy, while Dustin, Mike, and Nancy had absconded with David somewhere.

Eddie, Lauren, and Jonathan were talking to Hal and Lucas, Max, and Erica were talking to Wayne.

Hopper came up to Steve and put his arm around his shoulders.

Steve relaxed into the embrace.

“You did good, kid,” Hopper said. “I’m proud of you.”

Steve nodded and then rubbed the end of his nose, trying to fight back the tears.

“I had a long talk with Joyce about some of her choices that she made while I was gone,” he continued. “I’m glad I’m out of that hell hole, but she should have made sure everyone was safe first.”

“She had a lot on her plate,” Steve murmured.

Hopped cuffed the back of his head. “Don’t you go forgiving her without her apologizing first. I had to go back to California because apparently some fucked up general decided to shoot up the Byers house in Lenora.”

Steve looked over at Hopper in shock. “They did what now?”

Hopper nodded. “It was a complete shit show. But you have to know, I wouldn’t have just left you behind if I didn’t think you could handle it.”

“I know, I just...”

“Just wish you didn’t have to handle it?” he asked. Steve nodded. “I getcha. I wish you didn’t have to either. But I trust you to take care of everyone here, because I know they’re in safe hands with you.”

Steve choked back a sob. “Thanks, Hop.”

“Still can’t believe you’re dating that Munson kid,” he teased.

Steve pushed Hop way playfully. “Oh fuck off. He’s a good man.”

Hop looked over at him talking to Jonathan and Hal. “If he gets you to take care yourself or at least does it for you, he gets a pass from me.”

Steve blushed. “He takes care of me. It’s incredible how easy he makes it look.”

“I know your family was shit growing up,” Hop said. “But look at it now.”

Steve looked out at the fifteen-sixteen people out there lounging around the swimming pool with fondness.

“I always wanted a big family,” he said softly. “Who would have thought that all it would take is some extra-dimensional monsters to make it happen.”

Hopper chuckled. “I feel you kid. Before I started all this, I had lost my daughter to cancer and my wife to divorce. Now, not only do I have another daughter to take care of, I have a woman I love and her two boys that are like her sons to me.”

Steve made a grimace. “Does that mean Jonathan is my step-brother, because ew.”

“I heard that Harrington!” Jonathan called out.

Steve and Hopper laughed.

Eddie came bounding up to Steve. “I’m not sure I want the Chief as a father-in-law, babe.”

Steve smiled. “Oh that is going to make for some very awkward family dinners.

Percy came up behind Eddie.

“Hello, I’m Steve’s uncle, Percy,” he said extending his hand to Hopper to shake.

“Yeah,” Hopper said. “I’ve been hearing all about you. I’m sorry Clint Harrington kept you away from Steve for all this time.”

Percy nodded. “Jasper being an idiot didn’t help, unfortunately. But I’m in Steve’s life for good. There’s nothing that his parents could do that would change that.”

Steve gave Percy a hug in gratitude.

“Welcome to Hawkins then,” Hopper said with a smile. “It’s bit of a mess at the moment, but it’s home.”

“Well,” Percy said with a smile, “the welcome so far has been amazing I’m happy Steven has a support system now.” He turned to Steve. “May I pull you away for a moment. There’s something I would like to talk to you about.”

Steve looked at Hopper and Eddie who both shrugged. “Sure, lead the way.”

Percy went inside the kitchen and sat down at the counter. “When you told me that you didn’t get into the colleges and universities you applied for, I called around.”

Steve frowned. “Why? My grades slipped after Christmas my senior year. I ended at 2.76 GPA. I figured that wasn’t good enough to get in.”

“Yes,” Percy said. “If they only looked at your senior year. But they don’t. They look at a cumulative GPA from all your years at high school. You had a cumulative GPA of 3.16. Which is more than enough to get into any college you wanted. Especially with you still winning medals in swimming.”

His frown deepened. “But Dad said that I didn’t get into any of those schools.”

“Yes, which I thought was odd,” Percy further explained. “Which is why I called. Steven, you got accepted into two thirds of the schools you applied for.”

Steve leaned back. “What? That’s not possible.”

“I’m guessing Clint only showed you the one third you didn’t get into and told you the rest was the same.”

“Why?” he breathed. “Why would he do that?”

“Because the schools you got into weren’t the ones he wanted you to go to is my next guess.”

“I can go to college?” Steve asked, his lip quivering. “I don’t have to be stuck here my whole life?”

Percy shook his head. “You are a smart young man, and David and I are very committed to helping you get to where you want to go in life. Your parents mail have failed you, but I promise we won’t.”

Steve let out a shaky breath. “Thank you so much.”

Percy got up and hugged him. “Now go back out to your boy, he’ll be worried about you.”

Steve nodded and walked back out.

Percy followed close behind and wrapped his arm around David’s waist.

“You think they’re going to be okay?” David asked as they watch Steve and Eddie cling to each other.

“Oh yes,” Percy said. “It may have taken a tragedy to get them here, but they are smart boys with a great support system. There is nothing those boys can’t do now.”

“I’m happy to have met them,” David said.

“Me too.”

****

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