#And now my fingertips are a nice dark purple. Like when movies try to show magical corruption in their villain

[damiemontclair]

Gotta love "how to fix [insert thing]" articles that concluse with "and next time don't be an idiot"... Thanks, its not like I wasn't already aware that I did something stupid -.-

#(they don't usuall acrually say the 'next time don't be an idiot' part but it is tonaly implied. Strongly.) #For context: trying to remove hairdye stains fron my fingertips. #Yes; dear how-to article; I do know I should wear gloves. I did; in fact; start out wearing gloves. #But I am shortsighted and if I can't see the back of my head in the mirror because I don't have my glasses on #Then I would like to at least be able to feel wtf I am doing back there #And now my fingertips are a nice dark purple. Like when movies try to show magical corruption in their villain #Anyway my hair turned out great especially since it was my first time doing it myself #damie talks #(also yes there's a lot of typos in those tags. I can't be assed to rewrite them. Sue me.)

[danifics18]

🎃  Dance of the Wolves  🎃

Welcome to day one of Spooky Time Drabbles! I have thirty two prompts that I’m going to attempt to pump out in spirit of Spooky Season! If you want to see a continuation of any of these works- let me know! Once I post the majority of my Spooky Time Drabbles, I will be posting any extra smuts, or small continuations. 

Tags : Werewolf! Mingi//PWP//Marking//Slight ass play//cunnilingus//knotting// 

TW: Mentions of blood

Word Count : 4k

    General Masterlist    Ateez Masterlist

  With a cold breeze skittering down your spine, you place the last box inside your home to look around, figuring out where to place the new Halloween decorations you’d just bought that day.

  Moving away from a big city, to follow the feeling of Wanderlust- as your mother would’ve put it, to end up moving to a much smaller town in a more remote, forest area. It wasn’t even a quarter of the size that your previous town was, but you like it. The neighbors were kind, the community was tight-knit.

  It felt like home.

  And with the feeling of home and wanting to fit in in mind, you decided what better way to fit in than to join the town’s celebration by decorating your house to match the others. 

  Normally, for Halloween, you would’ve left a candy bowl out by your door for anyone in your apartment floor to get, along with hand delivering small bags of candy to your apartment’s security guard - Seokmin - for him and his kids to have, as well as to the elderly couple who lived right down the hall. But, besides that, you weren’t the one to really go out that night, preferring to stay in and watch movies like ‘Halloween Town’ or some other movie that wasn’t deemed as scary. 

  But much to your findings, people here didn’t celebrate Halloween, instead they celebrated something they called ‘The Dance of the Moon’ - where they essentially partied all night at home and at the town square. From what your town mayor , Mr. Song, explained to you, was that hundreds of years ago, the small town had been plagued by wolves. They would go after children, elderly, anyone who couldn’t readily fight back from being eaten. Every time someone was found missing, the townspeople would send a group to kill some wolves; how many people were taken and eaten- that was the amount of wolves that would be killed in return.

  “An eye for an eye,” as the older gentleman had explained, with a hardened look on his face.

  Supposedly, the resolution was found as the town had experimented with what would please the wolves- since back then, the closest town with a decent hunter was days away, and there weren’t enough people to both send out and watch over the rest of the town. The wolves would stop going after a lot of townspeople if there were sacrifices made.

  The Mayor was quick to assure that the legends hadn’t specified human sacrifices- they never exactly said what was sacrificed, really, but for the past thirty years or so, they had been using pigs, goats, or cows that were due to pass on soon. They would drop them off at a specific place in the forest, and knowing that the residents would be safe from any wolves, they would celebrate in the town festival until early dawn. 

  The last piece of information that Mayor Song had dropped on you before he handed you your house key- new residents had to participate in the festival. Seeing that you were the only resident to come in this year- it really is a small town with not a lot of travelers- he asked you to accompany the animals to the post; with his son, Mingi, of course. When you had agreed, Mayor Song had sent you on your way, notifying you that his son would pick you up with his animal hauler at around five, the evening of. 

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  To prepare yourself for the festival- that did make you a little unsettled, but you were sure it was just a stretched out rumor- you spent the week finding whatever Halloween knick-knacks for around the house that you could. 

  You had no plans of dressing up at all for the festival, until one of the ladies- Theresa- working the cash register, had asked if you had your outfit ready yet. With a glace to your face, she had explained that for the festival, people usually wear red, purple, white, and black. It didn’t have to be a full outfit or anything, but you would look like an outsider, since most of the town residents liked their outfits to look from back then. With that in mind, you quickly used up your last days trying to piece together an outfit with the corresponding colors.

  A white, knee-length, lace dress accompanied by a black headband, and purple nail polish. The red garment, however, left you slightly baffled. The only red clothing that you could find was a deep red cloak that you had bought on one of your ‘spurge days’, after getting your first job at seventeen. You didn’t need the item for anything, it just looked so cool that you had to have it. And now, so many years later, you contemplated wearing it- quickly deciding that you’d ask Mingi his opinion when he picked you up, but just in case, you’d wear a lipstick the same shade of red.

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  The day of the festival had left a pit of excitement in your gut. You hadn’t had work today- town’s rules that no work was permitted on holidays, and that included town holidays- and the same goes for tomorrow as well, although, it is asked of residents to come to the festival grounds to help clean up.

  As the day dwindled to late afternoon, you decided to head back home to get into your costume for later tonight, and then wait for the mayor’s son. This would be your first time meeting the boy, the only things you know is that you are the same age as him, and he’s got a deep voice- from what your coworker has told you.

  A loud knock on your front door snaps you out of your thoughts, checking yourself over one last time in the foyer mirror, before opening the door to see a tall man with brown hair- styled in a gelled undercut. 

  “Hi, I’m Mingi, it’s nice to meet you”, the mayor’s son reaches his hand out for a handshake, feeling your fingertips and palm tingle from the contact. Feeling thankful that he can’t notice the blush on your face, you shake his hand and return the greeting.

  You both take a moment to look each other over, and you have to admit, he looks good. He’s dressed in a flowy, long sleeve white shirt that has two untied strings in the front of the collar- showing off the black velvet choker with subtle deep purple moons embellished in the fabric - and a pair of cropped black pants. Looking up to meet his eyes properly, you gasp under your breath.

 Hearing a cow moo in the trailer behind him, he suggests that you guys leave now, before quickly turning to walk to his truck. Walking after him, you thank him as he opens your door for you, before he enters on his own side. 

  Throughout the drive, you both make small conversation about your likes and dislikes, finding out that you both had quite a bit in common. You were both shocked to find that you enjoyed things like Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, and neither one of you really like cake. You found out that he was a nature photographer who used to live a few hours away with some friends; he moved back a couple years prior after he had gotten attacked by some people who were illegally hunting who had mistaken him for an animal. He had plans to move back with his friends, he just felt like he should be back in his home roots for such a big injury. 

  Looking out the window, you try to make out any shapes of the passing by trees- the darkness of the early night made the forest a lot darker, being unable to see anything if it weren’t for Mingi’s headlights. For the next thirty minutes, the only view you could see was the dirt path with the occasional flying creature - probably bat - flying above the truck, before flying into the darkness. 

“We are almost where we need to be, there’s a small cabin that this road leads to. From there we can stop and walk the animals a mile out to the post”, Mingi says, his unnaturally bright, honey-colored eyes flashing over to you- being so bright that you can’t decide if they’re real or not. You’d been wanting to ask him since you had first noticed them, but you didn’t want to be nosy, or feel like you were asking a really obvious question. 

  Soon enough, the trees break away to show a meadow, a cabin and a shed in the middle of the clearing. Pulling the truck to a stop in the make-shift dirt driveway, you both get out and walk to the back end, where Mingi opens the back trailer revealing a single cow and two goats. Mingi hands you the leads for the goats as he takes the cow, and you both start walking down a pathway- stopping frequently when the animals decide to graze at the long grass. 

  Neither you or Mingi made conversation, besides the occasional comment towards the animals. Eventually, you both had made it to a pen of sorts, seeing other animals in the pen as well.

  Giving Mingi a questioning glance, he ignores you, taking the leads from you to walk the animals into the pen, before disappearing to the sheltered building, before coming out with handfuls of hay to give to the animals.

  “There’s no wolves out here, you know?” The tall man finally says, “ No actual wolves. Just me,” he finishes giving you a smile,” I know my father meant well, but I was hoping for this to be more natural.” Confused, you start walking backwards, your heart beating so hard you think it might go through your chest. 

  Not waiting for you to say anything, he continues, "I know you must be confused, but I can explain. You should probably stop walking back though; it is a full moon tonight, and my wolf isn’t in the playful mood tonight- especially not with how you smell.” As his last sentence rings through your ears, you quickly decide to ignore his warning, and run down the path back to the cabin.

  As you pump your legs faster you hear a forced laugh from the man, ”So this is the type of mate I have,” the pen gate rustles behind you, and as much as you want to look back, Mingi’s words make you feel the opposite. With the now red colored moon shining your path, you reach the cabin, not being able to decide what to do next. 

  Apparently, you wouldn’t have any time to decide anyways, seeing that as you started to go to the cabin’s door, a large hand grabs your shoulder, halting you from moving. Being forced to turn around, Mingi stares down at your form breathing heavily. Eyes widening, you start to squirm as you see his eyes now a deep red color, before freezing at the deep rumble that comes from his chest. 

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  “You're not too good at following directions, huh? C’mon, let’s get inside, I’ll make some tea and properly explain since you wouldn’t let me earlier. I won’t hurt you- if I had wanted to do that, I could've done that on the trip here,” He tells you with an unimpressed look, before walking you in front of him, to the cabin. 

  Minutes later, you were sitting down on a couch facing the fireplace with tea in hand, as Mingi sat on the recliner angled to the couch, tea in his hand as well. Taking a sip of his beverage, he clears his throat “ So, I’m sure my dad and some people have been talking about tonight’s festival,” you nod “Okay, well pretty much, my dad told you a different version of the town’s legend. We did try sending animals, but they hadn’t worked, it wasn’t until the town herbalist had offered to go out as a sacrifice instead. Seeing that nothing had worked, previously, and she was a recent widow, everyone let her,” Mingi stopped as he heard your soft gasp,” Apparently, she went out, and she did get attacked.”

  He paused, tilting his head as he asks” Did you know that wolves can tell when a human is pregnant?” You nod your head- you’d seen plenty of videos of how wolves in safe havens had reacted towards pregnant guests. Mingi smiles at your knowledge and continues on,” Well unfortunately, they noticed that she was pregnant after attacking her. As she was dying one of the she-wolves approached her, and somehow gave the human her life force- their spirits joining together. The lady survived, but she was the town’s first werewolf- her son being the first born werewolf. Seeing the power she had, the rest of the pack listened to her. As she went back to the town- the villagers considered it a blessing. It isn’t clear how it happened, but she was able to get the villagers to join their spirits with the pack. Of course there were people who rejected- and they left the village,” Mingi stops again sipping his drink.

  “How does that work though? Would that mean the entire town is full of werewolves? Isn’t that unsafe?” You ask, setting your now empty mug, on your lap. 

  “This has never been a town to get a lot of visitors. After a while of the town learning how to be wolves and humans, there were quite a few attempts to kill the pack from the people who’d left. The first woman, at that point she was what we call a Luna, had heard about a witch a few towns over who might be able to help- so they sought her out. After agreeing to help the witch with a small problem, the witch put a circle around the town. Other supernaturals can find the town- but to humans, this entire place is just forest. The only humans who can come here are like you, they’re mated. Destined to be with someone from here. And that person happens to be with me,” Pausing to gauge your reaction, he continues explaining,” Werewolves have mates, and they’re pretty much soulmates. I can tell because your scent is intoxicating for my wolf, it’s a very homey scent. You will be able to feel the pull the more we are around each other- for now, you’d probably get a ticklish feeling if I were to touch you,” You think back to when you’d shook his hands, and the feeling you got when you brushed against his arm- it makes sense, but earlier you had thought it was just your nerves from being around a handsome guy,” But eventually, you will develop a better sense of smell, and probably better hearing and sight- although it won’t be the same as being an actual werewolf. Unless, that is, you choose to reject me?” He questions with his facing down to look at the unlit fireplace.

  Taking a moment to think, you make up your mind before answering,” What do I have to lose?” You get up to place yourself on Mingi’s lap- something that you wouldn’t have done if it were anyone else, but you knew that you were comfortable with him.

  “I’m in a new town that although it might be new and strange, it still feels right. I definitely don’t understand the whole wolf thing, but there’s plenty of time to learn,” You finish, leaning into the large hand that was placed on your face. Feeling his breath on your face, you close your eyes as he gets closer.

  “I’m glad, now shall we go back to town? Everyone was really excited to be around a new face, you know,” Mingi says, placing a kiss on your nose.

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  Weeks turning into months, and months turning into years; two years precisely, you’d never imagined the day that you’d leave this cozy town that you had considered home.

  You and Mingi had officially started dating two weeks after first meeting- although, typically werewolves never really bothered with the whole dating thing, unless they weren’t mates- and you two were still going strong.

  With an influx of new packmates from a neighboring pack alliance, and Mingi’s need for joining back with his friends- which you had found out were actually his formed pack- you two decided to move away, to the plot of land that they owned.

  When you two had first pulled up to the place, you couldn’t help but scoff at your boyfriend’s words. “Only a small plot of land he says. And Disney World is just a small fair, right?” His only response had been a bashful grin. 

  The place still felt very homey, and very similar to your previous town; being located in the middle of nowhere, it was twenty acres of land, fenced off to show the property lines. It was pretty clever- seeing that when you first pulled into the main road in, it honestly looked pretty inconspicuous, if it weren’t for the big fence surrounding the place. 

  Meeting the pack members had made you a bit nervous, but you soon realized that they reminded you of brothers- very teasing, a little annoying at times, but you cared for them, and they cared for you. 

  Thankfully, you guys didn’t share a house together. It was bad enough that most times, you would wake up to find Wooyoung, Hongjoong, or hell- sometimes the entire pack in your house, eating your food and lounging about. Every pack member had their own individual houses- each spread out, and separated by a lot of trees.

  This was extremely helpful when it came to your boyfriend’s mating season.

  Usually, for his rutts, you guys had been fine for the most part. He hadn’t marked you yet, so of course, he would be a bit more aggressive and testy with the other males. But, unfortunately, his heat this time had definitely taken a toll on you both.

  With him being, essentially, part wolf, he can keep track of your cycles pretty well. If he’d noticed that you were bleeding, he’d be more attentive than usual. Early in your relationship, it had embarrassed you that he could literally smell you, but now - although it does cause some embarrassment - it doesn’t make you feel as weirded out, especially since he only tries to help you.

  But, a big downside of this has been him knowing when you’re ovulating. When this starts, you aren’t really allowed to go anywhere; Mingi’s wolf sees this time as your heat, even though humans don’t actually have one. It’s even worse when your ovulation is timed up with his rutt.

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  Laying on your stomach with your arms crossed under your head, you blink your eyes open, shutting them as the late afternoon sun works its way through your window. As you decide to fall back asleep before your boyfriend awakens, the hand that is wrapped around your waist, tightens; your naked body shifts under the loose sheet as you get moved to your side.

  You attempt to even out your breath to trick your needy boyfriend into thinking you were still asleep. You loved the attention he gave you during this time, but with how long you two were going at it earlier today - hence why you had taken the nap in the first place - you did have a small worry in the back of your head of you both getting over exhausted.

  Your plan quickly got thrown out the door; a growl emitting from the chest behind you, as Mingi rutts his bare length into your lower back.

  Spotting kisses around your neck and shoulder, your boyfriend speaks.

  “You know, I think it’s so cute,” placing a kiss on your shoulder “That you think I can’t tell when you’re awake,” placing a kiss where your shoulder meets your neck “When I can still smell your sweet cunt beg for attention when I barely graze you,” he finishes with a light bite below your ear; a place that makes you breathe out a whine.

  “Mingi, please,” “Please what?”

 Pouting at his teasing, you pull his hand that’s wrapped around your waist, and place it in between your legs- sure that he can feel the accumulated arousal.

  “Please fuck me, I really need it. I really need you,” You beg, tilting your head to the side as much as you can to tantalize him.

  In an instant, you are shoved onto your stomach, Mingi’s thick thighs straddling yours, his long length resting on your butt. Feeling his precum dripping onto you, you grind your ass up to feel some type of friction- being stopped by Mingi grabbing your hair and pulling you back enough for him to whisper in your ear.

  “Little mate, I suggest you not tease me. I would love to make you properly mine- but if you keep acting up, my wolf will take over, and you will be marked and knotted,” His raspy voice makes your eyes flutter back. Inhaling a deep breath, his hand in your hair tightens, as he undoubtedly smells the new wave of arousal gushing out from his words.

  “Please Mingi. Mark me, knot me, I don’t care. I just need you in -!” Your begging gets cut off as you feel your boyfriend crawl down you- him lifting your hips up, and sliding his tongue through your slit.

  Rolling your eyes back as his talented tongue does wonders on you, he grabs your ass cheeks for more leverage. After sliding his tongue into you a few times, mocking what’s next to come, he travels up, licking at the pink hole between your cheeks. Reaching your arms out behind you, you attempt to hold him in place to continue eating you out. Much to your disappointment, he gets back up to his previous position, holding your hands behind you.

  “Baby, hold yourself open for me,” You quickly obey, grabbing your cheeks to present yourself to him.

  His groan fills your ears, before feeling his cock enter you, him only stopping when his lower stomach is fully resting on you. Being left breathless from the sudden intrusion, you let out a loud moan when he pulls out, only to thrust back in- the power of the thrust shaking your form.

After a few more slower thrusts, his resolve finally breaks, as he starts snapping his hips into yours at a faster pace; the room filling with the sounds of moans, and slapping skin.

  Hands having fallen, you grasp the bed sheet, as you raise your hips back to meet Mingi’s thrusts.

  Feeling his cock throb inside you, you moan out, letting him know you’re close. He bends down closer to you, hips pistoning even faster. If it weren’t for the pillow between the wall and the headboard, you knew that there would for sure be a dent in the wall.

  Placing kisses on your shoulder, to sweeten the blow that was prepared to come, he finally finds your sweet spot; biting down on it as he feels you come around his length. Whining at the intensity of the strong orgasm, you don’t notice the trail of blood running down your collarbone, from where your boyfriend was latched onto you.

  Mingi finally pulls back, slowing down his thrusts as he comes, his cock swelling in size and pumping his seed into you directly.

  Gasping out at the slightly uncomfortable feeling, your attempts to wiggle around are thwarted by Mingi laying his upper body on you- turning your face to kiss it. 

  “So this is what knotting is?” you question, as the uncomfortable feeling subsides, having adjusted to his large size “Yes it is. The knot should go down in around twenty minutes- there was a lot that went in, so it’s going to take a little longer than usual,” He replies with a tired yawn.

  Turning over to your sides, you press your upper body against his before falling asleep feeling content.

#Spooky Time Drabbles #Mingi #Ateez #werewolf mingi #werewolf ateez #kpop #spooky ateez #spooky mingi #spooky kpop

[its-ya-boi-autumn]

I know I’ve been doing a whole fic on Chrollo but I thought this would be cute (It starts out really sad but I promise it gets cuter) this is just kind of a normal boyfriend AU that I’ve had in my head for a long time because I genuinely think it’s kind of adorable and even though I suck at writing affection and cute content I really wanted to write this so, hope you likey~

You hung up the phone on your mom, not able to handle the pressure from her anymore. Tears fell down your face and pattered onto the concrete below. Enough. You couldn’t take her yelling, her threats, her flat out abuse anymore. Enough was enough. You wondered if he was home, though you weren’t sure you wanted to bother your boyfriend with your problems again. You knew Chrollo would try to help you if he could, however, there wasn’t much he could do other than soothe you and talk to you.

You: Hey, are you home?

It would probably take a while for him to respond, so you got up from your couch to make something to eat. You might as well try now rather than have Chrollo force you to later. The chill from your fridge made you shiver the second it hit your body. A glance around the shelves told you there wasn’t much to eat to begin with. Sighing, you shut the door a little harder than you probably should have, the slam being accompanied by a few bottles of condiments falling over on the inside. You groaned, realizing if anything spilled you’d have to pick it up later. It wasn’t even that big of a deal to clean up a mess, but everything just felt like it was piling up.

Your mom being an asshole, this little mess, you cat being sick to her stomach all the time and you didn’t know why, the library being closed due to illness. Everything seemed to be against you for the time being and you were beginning to feel the toll being taken on you physically and mentally. You never felt like eating or even bathing, your hair greasy for the past 4 days and body odor most likely radiating off of you. A buzz notified you of his reply.

Chrollo: Yes, why? Are you alright?

You: No...

Chrollo: Would you like to talk about it?

You:...yes...

Chrollo: Alright. No one is here but me. You’ll be okay.

Instantly, you grabbed the keys for your car. You didn’t even look good, though you were sure he wouldn’t care either way. Once you dropped into the drivers seat, you simply threw your hair up in a bun so you would look a little less messy. He was still your boyfriend after all and you didn’t want to seem like a total wreck, despite the fact that you were anything but okay as of right now. You then thought about the smell you had accumulated and snatched up the stick of deodorant you kept in your car. It was a little melted due to the heatwave but it would do for now. 

Traffic wasn’t too bad thankfully. Finally, something that didn’t make you feel like the universe hated you. A few stoplights and some back roads later, you had arrived at your boyfriends small house in the middle of practically nowhere. Just like he had promised, none of Chrollo’s friends were there to accompany him. You shot him a text, letting him know you were there while you got out of your car to lock the doors. Sniffling, you climbed the dark wooden steps to his front door. It swung open before you even had the chance to knock.

Chrollo stared down at your red, puffy face. You sniffled again, wiping your eyes to avoid any tears that would try to come out. He moved to the side to let you in.

“I assume it was your mother again?” his voice was so comforting. Soft, gentle, reverberating through your brain and touching every neurotransmitter that elicited a dopamine reaction in your head. You could listen to it all day if you really wanted to. You nodded in response, plopping down on his couch and curling into a ball against the arm. You rested your head on your hand, keeping your eyes forward while Chrollo came to sit next to you. He leaned forward to get a good look at your face as he spoke.

“So, what’d she do this time?” he tried to make some sort of conversation. You were slightly surprised he didn’t offer you anything today. Maybe he just knew you’d decline anything he had. You did every other time, but it was still nice to heard him offer. You sighed.

“I don’t even know what I did this time! I was just asking her about this weekend since she said she wanted to see me and she went off!” you explained. You hands flew up in the air, showing how upset you were about the whole thing. Chrollo nodded.

“Do you mind if I ask what you had planned with her this weekend?” he continued to try and gain some sort of information to help. “Just about the hotel thing she wanted to do. Remember when she asked me if I wanted to do a hotel thing, just to chill out with her and her friend? Yeah, well, that’s not happening...” you felt tears start to well in your eyes. It wasn’t that your mother had said she wouldn’t do it, it was just that you no longer wanted to even bother in it with her. You were just supposed to go over there for the weekend since you hadn’t seen her in a long time and she suggested hanging out together at a small hotel downtown. Of course, she decided on a whim that she’d invite her friend Angela with the two of you. You figured this would turn out bad, considering everything she ever suggested had turned out bad, but you had obliged anyway, thinking this time might be different. God had you been wrong.

“She decided last minute she was gonna take Angela with us and of course for some reason Angela decided not to like me that day so she told my mom something that literally didn’t even do!” you were crying again now. Not entirely sobbing, but the hot tears rolled down your face and slid off your chin. A sighed sounded from Chrollo’s mouth. He obviously didn’t know much of what to do for you. His hand reached out and wiped the tear from under your chin. 

“Would you like anything to eat? Anything to drink?” he instead turned to making offers that he though might potentially help you feel better. The sudden change in subject ticked you off, but you didn’t let it show through. You knew he was just trying to help in the best way he knew how. You turned your red and teary eyes away from him again. 

“A movie you’d like to watch? We can play a game or something if you like. I’m sorry, I don’t know much of what to say, but I don’t like seeing you upset like this.” his warm hand rested on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against your skin. You sat up straighter. 

“Just go ahead and get me some cranberry juice or something... I’m not too hungry...” you replied quietly, standing to make way for the tv. Your eyes scanned over the realm of movies he had in place for nights when the two of you had nothing better to do. Romantic Comedy, Horror, Thriller, Adventure, and not to mention the movies and shows he had on the platforms installed in the tv. You heard him shuffling around in the kitchen, pouring glasses of what was probably your cranberry juice. A few cabinets opened and closed which meant some food would be made as well. You hadn’t been hungry, but Chrollo would insist that you ate something.

He came back, setting down a steaming bowl of something you assumed to be a soup he made for you when you came over. A thin, dark purple liquid filled a glass next to the bowl. Chrollo sat down on the end of the couch, leaning back. You slipped a movie in to watch for the time being and turned to him.

“Come here.” he spoke gently, patting his lap. You smiled and followed the little command. You set yourself up against his chest in his lap, taking the cranberry juice to your lips while Chrollo pulled a blanket from the back of the couch to cover you with. You didn’t really pay attention to what you had put in, but you enjoyed it. Seemed to be a mix of horror and comedy that made the two of you laugh. Chrollo didn’t say much, but you found yourself yelling at characters who made dumb decisions and laughing when you had been right.

“I swear they’re dumb...” you shook your head, Chrollo chuckling next to you. He held on of his hands on the small of your back, moving in circles every now and then. The other rested on your thigh near your knee for extra comfort as well as to hold you closer to him. You had felt a lot better now. You nearly forgot about your mom at this point and didn’t really want to bother thinking about her.

“Okay, I’m bored now, we should listen to music or something.” the suggestion was abruptly made immediately after the movie had finished. Even Chrollo gave you a surprised look.

“Oh? What do you want to listen to?” he scrolled through his phone to look for a playlist. You peeked over and eventually took the phone right out of his hands, picking out the playlist labeled with your name to see if he had added anything new. He had, but there was one song you really wanted to listen to. It had been your favorite for a long time and when you first found out that Chrollo had added it onto his phone, you had been beaming about it for days.

You connected his phone to the tv to let the surround sound speakers in his living room blast the music back to you. You turned your body to face Chrollo while still sitting in his lap. Your body naturally started bouncing to the rhythm. Your head bobbed with the beat, your lips moved in sync with the lyrics, and your hands danced around his chest. Chrollo simply watched you, admiring your every move as you danced and laughed on his lap. A smile played on his lips. Eventually, he found himself moving along too. His head lolling around lazily to the beat with your stronger movements.

Your fingertips played along his chest, poking and prodding when certain words came up. You sang loud and ugly but you didn’t care for the time being, instead singing louder. Chrollo fake cringed at your bad singing and you scoffed teasingly, hitting his chest while he chuckled again.

“You seem to be in a better mood.” he commented, trying to be louder over the music. You just gave him a smile.

“I am~ and it’s all because of you.” you grabbed him by the chin and gave him a light peck on his soft lips. His brows furrowed.

“I don’t think it was me in all, wouldn’t you say? I made you dinner but that was it, you did the music and the movie by yourself dear.” Chrollo always gave you credit for good things, and you appreciated it endlessly. A blush painted your cheeks, but you weren’t embarrassed. Instead, you gave him another peck on the cheek and nuzzled your face in his neck.

“Thank you for trying though, I appreciate it more than you know...” the words came suddenly before you could even think about them. A jolt against your body and a grunt indicated Chrollo’s surprise at those words. It wasn’t like this was the first time you’d said something like this to him. In fact, you told him these things all the time, yet he always seemed not to expect it. His large hand rested on your back, rubbing lovingly.

“Anytime love.” 

#chrollo #hxh #cute #i think #i hope #kinda sad #but it’s okay #because i fixed it #:) #my work #Hunter X Hunter #chrollo lucilfer #fluff #imagine #attempt

[chan-yolo]

Come Back, Be Here

A/N So here it is, my first ever JK scenario. this makes me hella nervous because i’m typically an EXO writer, but i’m into BTS too, they’re another one of my favourite groups, so I thought I’d give Jungkook a go. 

This one is angsty and based off of Taylor Swift’s song, ‘Come Back, Be Here’ from her Red album. 

I hope you like it. 

lemme know if you want anymore BTS in the future. 

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook/ Reader

Genre: Fluff, ANGST.

Warnings: hints at sex, swearing somewhere. 

Word Count: 5,463

Suggested song: Come Back Be Here- Taylor Swift. 

There are different kinds of relationships.

You have your long-lasting serious relationship. The one everyone hopes for, even when they say they don’t, there’s that longing for one. The one that’s it for you. The one that is the one. The be all and end all of love and happiness.

Then you have your fun casual ones. Sometimes they’re no strings attached, sexy, heated fun. And sometimes they’re all strings attached but in a casual way. The ones where you have no label but you do. You get each other but you don’t always need each other.

Your relationship was supposed to be that. Fun, exciting, passionate. You didn’t have or want to need him. You weren’t his girlfriend and he wasn’t your boyfriend.

But then why did it hurt so much? You didn’t want to need him but you did.

There are different kinds of relationships, and on paper that is true. But in practice it doesn’t always stay in the bracket.

The first time you met him, you didn’t even know who he was. Stupid seeing as he was in one of the biggest boy groups to grace stan twitter since One Direction. But honestly you were just trying to pay your rent and sleep eight hours a day.

Jungkook was someone who was pelted into your life full force. It was as if he was never meant to be there, never originally fated to cross your path. But the universe likes to change things up once in a while, and lord did it want to change your life.

You met Jungkook on a typical English rainy day. You’d finished work, and the way nature greeted you was to open up the heavens and release a downpour, one you wasn’t prepared for. Racing down the street, you dipped into the nearest coffee shop, hoping to wait out the rain until it calmed down. Unfortunately you lived a bus journey away from the office you were working in, and the bus station was a ten-minute walk from that. So hiding away with your book and coffee, waiting for the storm to blow over was your only option.

The little shop was filling quickly, everyone having the same idea. You sat in the back corner, away from the crowded entry way, and closest to the window where you could watch as the raindrops chased each other on the steamy glass. Wrapping your hands around the white ceramic coffee mug, you relished in the feeling of your fingertips numbing from the warmth of the beverage.

Your gaze lethargically flicked over the people sat in the café, watching them shake out umbrellas and shuffle off coats. Though you never expected to make such piercing eye contact with one of those strangers. The boy was looking straight at you, his own coffee mug in hand. His dark hair was slightly wet on the ends, it was long. You noted he definitely needed a haircut, but the length was endearing on him. his clothes were baggy, hanging off of his frame. A black sweater mixed with black cargo pants. You noticed his shoes were Balenciaga. A strange choice, you noted, seeming it was England and rainy. You would never wear such expensive shoes with the thought of them being ruined in the typical English autumn weather.

His eyebrow raised at your gaze, walking towards you, weaving through the tables. As he stopped beside your table for two, he nodded at the chair in front of yours, confidently asking;

“May I sit here?” You raised your own eyebrow at his question. His accent was cute, and his slight lisp was as adorable. So of course you said yes.

You learned a lot about him on that rainy day in London. About how he was from Busan, and how he had come here on part of his holiday from work. What he didn’t tell you was what his work was.

As the rain stopped, so did your conversation. Both needing to be in other places. You said your goodbyes with an exchange of numbers and small smiles. The first of many to come.

You’d texted Jungkook on and off for a few days before he asked if he could see you again. This time it was in the back of a museum, where he listened to you tell him about the 18th century and the civil war of the Georgian era.

“How do you know so much about this?”

“I studied English literature and history at university, The eighteenth century was the only part that stuck the most.” You smiled at him before looking up at another satirical painting.

“So you enjoy reading then?” You nodded at his question, smiling at his interest in your own hobbies.

“It gives you another world to be in when you don’t enjoy the reality of the one you’re currently in.” Jungkook just smiled back at you, taking your hand in his and squeezing it. When he let go of your hand he pointed at the next painting, asking you to tell him about the meaning of that.

When you think back, the little rendezvous the two of you were having was like that. something to distract you from the reality of your own lives. You both gave each other a new world. Your free time was taken up by Jungkook, but you didn’t mind. His upbeat persona and his curiosity always made you want to see him more.

The first time he kissed you, you were in awe. You’d decided to drive back to your home town, taking the boy with you. The trip to Cambridge was long but worth it. Within each back street a picture was taken, his hand was in your own, and you were happy.

As you were explaining the different university buildings to him, he pulled you closer to him by your waist, one hand moving to the back of your head, leading your lips to his own. The kiss was small and slow. But it was something you’d always remember. As he pulled away, he pushed your hair behind you ear, giving you one of his full smiles you loved.

“You have a beautiful mind.” He whispered to you before pecking your lips once again. Everything he did was magical to you. And you worried about how breathless he left you. Yet you never stopped to do anything about the fact you were being swept away by him.

***

 Nights were soon spent either in his rented apartment, or in your own smaller apartment. Sharing kisses and watching movies. Sometimes even reading together. And this night was no different. You were sat in his apartment, facing each other. You were now on your second glass of wine, cheeks aching from how much the boy in front of you was making you laugh.

“Your friends sound chaotic.” You laughed at another one of  his stories.

“No no no, they just like to make us laugh, not chaotic just funny.” He smiled at you. You could see the love he held for his friends in his eyes, and it made your own heart swell.

“I’d like to meet them one day.” You watched as some of the spark in his eyes dimmed, and your own stomach twisted, wondering if you’d gone too far.

“I think it’d be hard to. Our job doesn’t give us much time to have relationships.” He looked at his lap, and you nodded, sipping your wine and looking towards the sky line of the city.

“I also like that I only know you, I don’t have to share you with the Hyung’s, or the fans.” At this you looked back at him, confused.

“Fans?” at your question, Jungkook muttered something in Korean that you didn’t understand .

“Yes, fans. Y/n, aish how do I…” he rubbed the back of his neck, looking for the right words. “I’m in a band, you know BTS?” This time it was your turn to think about It, and when you searched your brain, you realised you did know who he was.

“omg I’m so stupid, you must think I’m an idiot to not notice who you are.” Jungkook laughed at you, taking your hand in his. In fact he thought it was nice that you didn’t know who he was. And when you told him you had listened to a couple of their songs, one of them being Euphoria, his smiled widened and he kissed you, longer and deeper than he had ever kissed you before.

That night you both established your trust as well as the unspoken agreement that this couldn’t get any more serious than it already was. Though when you woke up next to him the following morning, naked, chest filled with purple bruises showing the trail his lips had made, you knew that you would not hesitate to break those rules.

When you went home that day, you rang your mum. Pacing the room you described every moment with Jungkook, every feeling you had and the situation you had found yourself in with a worldwide star.

“Trust you to get into this predicament.” Your mum teased on the other end.

“Mum! You’re not helping.”

“I’m sorry, but you do know you can’t get too attached right?”

“I know, I’m not stupid. It would never work, even if he wasn’t in BTS. He has to leave at some point.”

“Please be careful okay, because when he leaves you’ll be left with the heartbreak.”

“I know mum, I’ll be careful. I promise.”

“As long as you’re sure.” Even as you agreed, deep down you knew you were lying. But you couldn’t let go just yet.

***

 The delicate beginning rush, the feeling you could know so much without really knowing anything at all.

Boyfriend material. That is what Jungkook screamed. Your mind would never stop telling you how perfect he was, and your heart never stopped wanting more from him. but you could never ask him for more.

You’d fallen in love with him. and even though you knew that was selfish of you, you still couldn’t stop falling for the way he cared. The way he cared about you, with his cute texts when you weren’t together, to get you through your day. the way his eyes filled with love when he talked about his fans and the homely feel he had when he talked about the rest of the boys.

You longed to be the reason for the love in his eyes also. But instead you basked in the moment. You took all you could get, being wrapped up in bed with him, speaking about your dreams and his goals for the next year with his bandmates.

“You’re amazing you know that right?” You whispered to him one night, as he talked about his want to compose his own song for the fans. Jungkook smirked at you, moving to hover over you. Moving his head down to graze yours.

“I try.” Connecting his lips to yours, his tongue met your own, his fingers pulling your underwear down, and your heart once again was giving out a piece for him to keep. Soon there would be nothing left for you to keep, and you didn’t even see it happening.

***

You hadn’t heard from Jungkook for weeks. Not even a small text to tell you he was okay. According to social media he was okay, but that wasn’t the Jungkook you knew, that wasn’t your Jungkook.

You’d left him messages, but he just left them on read, and after a while ignored them completely. You knew you shouldn’t be as bothered as you were. But you had given up so many of your nights for him, and he couldn’t even give you a text back.

Pulling out your phone, you sat on your sofa, scrolling through previous messages for signs this was all over. Huffing you decided you were being an idiot, leaving him one last message before you decided to head to bed.

“Text me when you feel like talking to me again I guess.”

The buzzing sounded throughout your apartment in the most annoying way, pulling you out of your sleep. groggily you sat up, looking at the time which read 1am, you pulled on one of Jungkook’s jumpers he had left there, shuffling towards the front door, you asked who it was, just to hear Jungkook’s muffled, “It’s me.” And that certainly woke you up. Buzzing him up, you moved to sit on the sofa, biting at your nails nervously.

Letting himself in, Jungkook sat opposite you, his eyes never met yours, his fingers interlocked, his gaze downcast.

“I just wanted to know you were okay, it doesn’t take you five minutes to tell me you’re safe.” You broke the silence, justifying the texts. The reason why he was here.

“I was busy.” Was his only response, his eyes still refusing to meet your own.

“I know, and I respect that. But Jungkook, it’s been weeks and I know this isn’t a serious relationship or anything like it but I just needed to know.” At this his brown eyes met your blue ones.

“Then what are we Y/N? how can we do what we do and not be together?

“You know we can’t, you know better than anyone else. You set these rules.” You fought back, watching as he stood up, pacing the expanse of your small living room. Stopping he looked at you, shaking his head, he grabbed his bag heading back towards your door.

“Jungkook, please. Please don’t leave. Not tonight please.” Your small hand caught his sleeve, hoping it was enough to stop him.  you watched his shoulders drop, your body full of its own tension.  Turning around, he pulled you into him. his hug was different to the others you had shared. As if it was the end of something.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, no longer full of the normal essence that was Jungkook.

“Me too.” And you were. Not just to him but to yourself, as you no longer owned any part of yourself, all you knew was Jeon Jungkook.

***

Things were never the same, you both distanced yourselves more. but the odd night you still found yourself wrapped in his sheets as he whispered false promises and sweet words. You wanted to believe him, and somewhere inside you, you did. But your reality woke you up in the morning, and your life continued.

It wasn’t until one Thursday morning when you realised how different your lives were. It was 4am, and Jungkook was leaving delicate kisses on your neck, your breathing evening out as you tried to drift off into sleep.

“Y/n.” His whisper was light, mixed into the kisses that were now left on your shoulder.

“hmm?”

“I need to tell you something.” Your eyes fluttered open to look at his own, waiting for the news he had.

“I’m leaving.” Pulling away, you sat up, wrapping the sheet around your body.

“You’re what?”

“We’re making another album, and we’re filming again.”

“Oh, Gukk, that’s great.” You stood up, pulling on his t-shirt quickly.

“You’re upset.” He sat up himself, watching you as you pulled on underwear.

“It’s your job, it’s what you love to do, I can’t be upset about that.” You looked at him, nibbling on your lip nervously. Crawling across the bed, Jungkook pulled you towards him, settling you on his lap. “When do you leave?” You ran your hands through his hair, leaving a kiss to his hair line.

“In two days.” He whispered into your shoulder, once again leaving kisses there.

You finally had an expiry date, but you never expected it to be so soon.

***

We stumbled through the long goodbyes.

One last kiss then catch your flight,

Right when I was just about to fall.

 The terminal was quiet. You’d never had to wait with someone who was a VIP. So being sat in a room with Just the two of you and some bodyguards was a weird experience. But this was possibly your last time to be with Jungkook, and you weren’t going to stop clinging onto him, no matter how many weird looks you got from his team.

Jungkook was leaving small kisses on your head as you played with his fingers. Neither one of you wanting to break the silence, not knowing what to say to each other. You traced the veins on his hands, each line familiar to you, thinking of how your life will change after this. How everything will go back to normal, as if you’d never met Jungkook. But your heart would never be the same. Jungkook lifted his hand, fingers still intertwined with yours, checking the watch on his wrist for the time. You felt him sigh beside you, his face moving to bury into your hair. Inhaling Jungkook left another kiss before whispering out your name.

“Y/n…” You closed your eyes, knowing just by the tone in his voice that it was time to say goodbye.

“Please…” Your voice was a whimper, a tremble you wished you could hide.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go.” You inhaled a low shaky breath, feeling Jungkook’s hand squeeze in your own. You both stood up, Jungkook pulling the two of you into a tight hug, the embrace making your heart break, and the tears start to stream from your eyes.

You felt Jungkook look up from your shoulder. Addressing the team behind you, he uttered something to them in Korean, and shortly after you heard what must have been them walking away from you.

“y/n I’m sorry I have to go.” Pulling away from the man you had come to love, you rubbed your eyes, trying to get rid of the tears on your face, shaking your head at him.

“No. Jungkook you have to go, we always knew this was going to happen, I’m just emotional that’s all.” You gave him a sad smile trying to lighten the mood of the situation. Jungkook gave you a knowing one back, moving to wipe your tears away for you before pulling you into him once again.

“I have to go.”

“I know.” You snuggled your head into his chest, not making an effort to move away from him. choosing to do it himself, he softly pushed you away from him, his brown eyes looking down at yours. You used to get lost in the cosmos in his eyes, but now it just hurt to think you would probably never see them again. Jungkook’s thumb traced your cheekbone, his own sad smile overtaking your face as his eyes traced your features. Dipping down his lips met yours, delicately and slowly. The kiss was deep and meaningful, and when his tongue met your own, your hands moved to squeeze his biceps, trying to keep him close to you.

The flight attendant announced that Jungkook’s plane was ready to board, and you couldn’t think of anyone you hated more in the world. Pulling away from each other, Jungkook’s hands moved to take your own, squeezing them reassuringly in his grip.

“You’re going to be alright?” The tone of his voice was light, but you could hear the strain in his words.

“Of course I am Gukk.” You sighed heavily. Smiling once again to reassure him .

“we’re alright?” His eyebrow raised, just like the first time you met him.

“yeah, we’re alright.” You nodded at him, squeezing his hands lightly in return to his.

“I have to go.”

“I know.” You sighed for the hundredth time that evening, ready to say what you’ve always wanted to. But before any words could escape your mouth, Jungkook had dipped down to steal one more kiss from you, pulling away quickly to walk towards where his manager was waiting for him at the terminal.

A fresh set of tears streamed down your face as you watched him leave, your breath hitching when he didn’t turn back, just disappearing. Your whole body gave up, slumping down into the seat you were in just mere minutes ago. Sobs were now leaving your mouth as you wiped your eyes on the sleeve of your jumper, his jumper. You whispered the words into your sleeve that you wanted to say to him, knowing they would never meet his ears.

“I love you.”

***

I can’t help but wish you took me with you.

Weeks went by. Each one lacklustre. You’d been moving on auto pilot, getting on with your dull life. Though this was the life you’d always had before Jungkook came along. Each day you busied yourself, trying to get the image of the boy with the bunny teeth out of your mind. But you noticed more and more every day, how popular they were in the world, traces of them popping up all over the place.

It was on your way home from work when you fully felt the ache in your heart. The bus had stopped in front of a billboard. A bright pink billboard. The words ‘Map of the Soul: Persona’, stretched across the top, the seven boys with their bright clothing looking back at you. Though you only saw Jungkook, getting a glimpse of the face you hadn’t seen properly for weeks before the bus went speeding down the road again.

That night, you called your mum. Crying about what wasn’t and what could’ve been. The feeling of a broken heart new to you, you didn’t quite believe it was so.

“It was for the best sweetie.” Your mum tried to be supportive, tried to assure you this was all a part of life that you would learn and grow from.

“I know mum.” Your voice was straining, hoarse from the previous crying.

“He wasn’t the one.” As convincing as your mum was trying to be, you didn’t have the strength to lie or to fight with her. You all knew the truth.

“Yes mum.”

***

This is when the feeling sinks in, I don’t wanna miss you like this.

 A night with friends should be one for relaxing. One where you can catch up with each other. Laugh and just forget about the world outside. Your friends knew you were seeing someone, and that recently there was a sort of break up. They just didn’t know it was Jungkook.

Hiding Jungkook’s job was hard, but they had never heard of BTS, so you never worried. But at this moment in time, you just wanted to sit and tell them every little detail. But tonight was about being together and having a good time. In midst of things, you were. It was nice to see people that weren’t from work. Sat around the booth you smiled at each of your friends as they shared their own gossip from their own lives, keeping you distracted.

Things seemed to be going just the way they planned. You were smiling, laughing even. The most you had in weeks. That was until a surprise turned up. In the shape of your friends’ boyfriends. Now, normally you were not the one to be bitter about these things. You loved the relationships your friends were in. you loved how happy they seemed with their significant other. But tonight you didn’t want to be reminded of how unlucky in love you were. Selfish was never something you pinned yourself as, but tonight that’s what you wanted to be.

Your glare was subtle, but your pout prominent. Watching the love in everyone’s eyes around you. Your new housemate, conveniently sat opposite you, never knew the concept of too much PDA, so for approximately ten minutes, you counted, she was clinging to her boyfriend like she hadn’t seen him in years. She in fact saw him that morning. Okay, maybe you were a little bitter.

Shuffling out of the chair you had moved in so the couples could be closer together, you made your way hastily to the bar. A drink wouldn’t hurt, and you’d be needing one to get you through the night. Though one drink didn’t mean a leisurely pint at the pub, no. it meant a strong whisky mixed with mulled over feelings of what could’ve been. The night turned into thoughts of what Jungkook would be doing right now. Did he miss you? Did he still think of you? That night your mind was cruel to you, and in your bitterness you blamed your friends, when in reality it was your own selfish heart.

***

I guess you’re in New York today, I don’t wanna need you this way.

It didn’t take long for you to spill out everything to your housemate. Who Jungkook was, not just to you but to the world. And bless her, did she try her hardest to help you with your broken heart. Eventually you started feeling a little more human. Daily tasks weren’t hard to do, they were just mundane. Like they were before you met him. Though the ache was still there.

You still found yourself needing him, not just at night, but in the cold mornings. Or needing his laugh, and cute scrunch of his nose when he was happy or amused.

That’s how you found yourself watching one of the bands latest interviews. You were dying to know what he looked like, needing to see if he had changed since you last saw him at the airport that day.

Watching the video you were so immersed in their friendship, each member stating what they liked about New York, the city they were currently in. You had never seen Jungkook with the other boys, your eyes never left his form as you watched the absolute adoration he had for each of the guys with him.

He looked different.

How strange I don’t know you at all.

Your eyes darted across the screen. His hair was different, a little more well-kept. His smile was different too. Different from the one you were used to seeing. This wasn’t the Jungkook you had gotten to know. This was the singer, the idol Jeon Jungkook.

In ways, he was still the same. One thing you definitely knew about him was that even though he was still finding himself, he would never try and intentionally give a false version of himself to anyone, especially his fans. But in the grander schemes of things, you had come to realise you actually didn’t really know Jeon Jungkook at all like you thought you did.

You hadn’t heard from him since a few days after the tour started. He looked happy. Maybe things had changed.

Before you could think about it anymore, your roommate popped her head around the door. Sensing your state of pain and realisation, she gave you a sympathetic smile, leaning against your doorframe.

“Wanna go get food?” Nodding at her, you gave a small smile back.

“Sure, give me a sec.” giving a short nod, she headed off to her room. Leaving you to shut your laptop, wiping away the tears that threatened to fall once again.

 ***

This is falling in love in the cruellest way.

This is falling for you when you are worlds away.

 Crying on your best friend was not how you expected your Tuesday night to go. But here you were. Snotty nose pressed against her shoulder, tear stained cheeks tacky and salty from the amount of crying you had been doing.

“I can’t take it anymore Jade, I can’t do this.” Your voice was hoarse, sore from the sobs. Jade pulled you closer to her, entangling her legs with your own as you lay in your bed. You felt her sigh in your hair as she left a kiss atop it.

“Y/n, I thought you had it handled?”

“I love him.” Closing your eyes you felt a new wave of sadness rush through you again. Hiccupping, you tried to ward off the hurt that wanted to escape you in waves.

“Babe…”

“I know, I know. I’m an idiot. An absolute fucking idiot.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you didn’t want to see your friends face. The pity on it. The tone in her voice was enough.

“You’re human.” Moving apart to finally look at her, you watched as her eyes filled with sadness as she looked at your own heart broken expression. Laying on your back, you let out a huff, cursing your own stupid emotions.

“I thought it’s be easier, he’d move back to Korea, go on tour, live his life. I’d g back to mine. But I can’t, not when he’s everywhere. Everywhere but here.” You whispered to yourself, sinking into the reality of what your situation was.

“You have to let him go y/n, this whole thing is too cruel.”

“I’m trying.” You looked at your friend with watery eyes, neither of you convinced that you were.

***

I break down, cos it’s not fair that you’re not around.

That same night, after your friend had left, you were still sat in your bed. The crying had stopped but you were still snotty nosed and ever so tired. You knew you should stop feeling this way, that you were the only one who could make it all stop.

The familiar sound of your phone ringing ran throughout your room, cutting through the drama you were watching on tv. Reaching to your bedside table, checking the caller ID before dropping your phone as if it had just bitten you.

It was him.

The caller ID “Gukk” lit up your screen. Your breath hitched, heart clenching and eyes watering. This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair, was the only thing going through your mind.

You wanted to ignore it, you promised you forget. So you waited. Waited for the ringing to top. Closing your eyes to seal in the fresh tears. Finally it stopped, and in its end brought your sobs, strangled and torn.

A buzzing made you open your eyes, hoping that there was no more. looking down at your phone to see a new text, your heart shattered at his message.

“I’m so sorry.”

It wasn’t fair.

***

I don’t want to need you this way.

Message after message was left. It had been a week and you hadn’t answered any of the calls or texts. You were angry, you were sad. yet you were still full of longing. That is what lead to you dialling his number, knowing full well it was late for him, but you didn’t care. Some things couldn’t wait any longer.

The phone rang three times before he picked up. You listened to his breathing on the other side. Pacing up and down your living room floor, you felt slightly overwhelmed.

“Hey.” You breathed out finally, noting in the little hitch in his own breathing.

“Hey.” His voice seemed deeper. Had it always been that deep? Or had you just forgotten the way he sounds. No that definitely wasn’t it.

“I’m sorry.” You came to  stop at the wall opposite your couch, resting your forehead on the white surface.

“Why?”

“I made a mistake.” Your voice trembled, your mind at battle with your heart. Needing to tell him the truth but knowing it would just cause more hurt.

“What mistake?” Jungkook sounded unsure. You could just see that little head tilt and the crease in his eyebrows.

“I need you here too much. I need you Jungkook.” Turning around, you looked out at the London skyline, cursing the distance between you two.

“How is that a mistake jagi?” sinking to the floor, you heart ached at the pet name you hadn’t heard in so long.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t. this wasn’t supposed to happen Jungkook.”

“Then I guess I broke your rule too.” Jungkook chucked on the other end, making the butterflies arise for the first time in months. “I need you too y/n.” Closing your eyes you breathed out at the confession. Your brain couldn’t decipher what exactly the confession was, and if it was the same as your own.

“Jungkook, I love you.” The silence that followed was deafening, and you knew that this wasn’t what he meant.

“You love me?” His voice was weak and that broke your heart even more than the silence.

“Yes. And it hurts.”

“I’m sorry.”

***

It wasn’t fair. It was hopeless. It was devastating.

Why did you have to be the careless one? Did you have to be the one to fall in love with him? You guess you weren’t the only girl in the world who had fallen for the charms of Jeon Jungkook.

Leaving one last text, you curled up on the floor, knowing you had to start the healing process again.

To: Gukk

I miss you.

 Come back

Be here

#bts #Jungkook #jeon Jungkook #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut

[tbasilpitch]

i love you (ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?)

fav trope/cliche: a friends to lovers au (they’re both normal in this)

The first time Baz sees him, it’s outside his teacher’s classroom. She’s partly blocking the doorway, and her rings clack pleasantly against the doorframe as she taps against it, all while speaking softly to the boy in front of her. Distress cries out in the wrinkle between his brows, his lips turned down slightly in a subconscious pout. 

Baz doesn’t catch what she says to make the boy nod solemnly, but his pout is replaced with a shy smile when she bends down to grasp him in a swift hug, before pulling away and turning to look at Baz instead. 

“Basil!” She exclaims, and he knows she’s about to spout one of her ideas on him. And as much as Baz loves Ms. Rosemary, sometimes even he can’t stand them. 

“Yes, Ms. Rosemary?” 

“Basil,” she brings the boy in front of her, and straightens herself off the door frame. “This is Simon Snow. He just moved here, and I think the two of you would be very good friends.” 

As it turns out, this was one of Ms. Rosemary’s better ideas, and he made sure to get her a lovely gift during Christmas as a thank you. Simon was exactly what Baz had needed in a best friend: at least as a six-year-old. He would split his scones with Baz secretly during English behind their books, and was killer at dodgeball: both feats that had earned him the title of Baz’s closest and most treasured friend. It was enough for now, and he became a constant in Baz’s childhood from then on. The days had blurred into sleepovers at Baz’s house and Simon watching movies while Baz read in the background, an easy comfort that had come from spending ample amounts of time together. 

* * * 

They were almost 11 now, and Baz couldn’t picture his life without Simon in it, the one thing that stayed constant even when everything else skittered away. 

“Baz,” Simon poked his shoulder with the end of his pencil, repeating the action until Baz sighed and looked up. 

“What is it? I’m trying to read,” he held up the book as evidence, but there was no true annoyance behind his words. 

“That girl won’t stop glaring at you. The one with the purple hair.” 

“Penelope Bunce,” Baz supplied immediately, his eyes drifting back to the book. 

“Yeah, her. Why is she glaring at you like that?” 

“Because I checked out the last copy of this book, and now she has to wait till I finish it to read it herself.” 

“Haven’t you read it already?” At Baz’s hum, he continues. “I think you should let her read it, Baz. Really.” 

“And why is that?” 

“It’s the right thing to do, Baz,” Simon explains. “It’s nice.” 

And Baz wants to argue, to say that he isn’t nice, that he never was and never will be. Almost as if Simon took all of the niceness he could’ve had, being nice enough for both of them. Baz wasn’t bitter, of course, he’d have given it to Simon willingly anyway. He’d give Simon anything, really, if he asked, but this was something that Baz refused to dwell on. Simon was his best friend, wasn’t it natural he’d feel this way? So he simply nodded and passed the book to Penelope Bunce, who smiled at Simon, and nodded at Baz appreciatively. And just like that, all because of Simon Snow, he had made another friend. 

* * * 

The fight came out of nowhere. Simon had been getting ready for his date with Agatha--his girlfriend of almost a year--and was holding up hangers to his chest to show Baz, who was trying not to react to any of them. It was a waste of time, anyway, all of them looked stunning on Simon, who’d grown up absolutely gorgeous. His hair, curly and untameable as a child had only worsened with time, and now it lay atop his head in messy golden loops that caught the light wherever he went. 

He held up a dark blue shirt, and Baz felt his breath catch. It brought out the darker blues in Simon’s trite blue eyes, creating a subtle shadow. Simon looked at him questioningly, and Baz almost said no, don’t wear that shirt, wear anything else. But Simon was his best friend, and what type of best friend would he be if he didn’t let Simon look his best for a date? 

Except Simon frowned, and accused Baz of trying to make him look terrible for the date, which had come out of nowhere and was clearly him lashing out about something entirely unrelated to the shirt. 

But Baz stubbornly took the bait, and they’d launched themselves into the first fight they’d had in years. Neither of them liked to fight; they were both too close to each other, and the arguments got more personal, the insults growing increasingly harsher. 

Baz had mentioned how much he despised Agatha without meaning to, and it had done nothing but further escalate the situation. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t be best friends, then. We don’t match anyway.” 

“Simon, you don’t mean that.” 

“Stop telling me what I do and don’t mean! I don’t think we fit anymore, Baz.” 

Baz caught the underlying statement, just leave. 

And so he did. 

*** 

They hadn’t spoken in months, and in that time Bunce had taken Simon’s side (of course) leaving Baz with his old friends Dev and Niall. Who had both, conveniently, decided to leave the library minutes before Bunce herself came strolling in, making her way to Baz’s table. 

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” 

Baz ignores the lead snapping off his pencil tip and continues writing, forcing his eyes to stay on the page and not wander up to where Bunce stands, undoubtedly with her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed to slits. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he responds calmly, flipping the page. “Simon’s my friend and so I love him, sure.” 

He hears the chair scrape against the floor as Bunce sits down, grabbing the pencil out of his hand before he has a chance to stop her. 

“I don’t believe you.” 

“Isn’t that your problem, then?” 

“Baz,” she says sternly, and he finally meets her gaze. 

Suspicion dominates her look, but there’s a small ebb of something else fluttering within. It takes a moment for Baz to recognize it, and he softens his tone when he does. Concern. Small but enough for Baz to remember that he and Penny were friends once, a time before Simon Snow and before they’d become academic rivals. 

“What do you want me to say, Bunce? That I’m hopelessly in love with someone I used to call my best friend before I fucked that up and now I’m nothing more than one of his hundred admirers?” 

“You’re not,” Bunce lightly rests her hand against his as she gets up, adjusting her bag against her shoulder. “Just another admirer, that is. You’re his best friend, Baz, you always have been.” 

“That isn’t enough, is it? It’s too hard,” Baz confesses, tracing a pattern on the table. 

It was too hard, watching him fall deeper in love with Agatha and pretending like it didn’t bother him. In another world, maybe, there’s a Baz strong enough to repress his feelings enough to stay Simon’s best friend. But in this one, Simon’s eyes are a tad bit too blue and his smile a smidge too bright for Baz to look away. 

“You know what, Baz? Why don’t you try talking to him?” 

“I can’t.” And with that he shuffles his things together and drops them in his backpack, leaving before Bunce has the chance to get another word out. 

* * *

“Baz,” an achingly familiar voice calls his name, and Baz anticipates it before he feels it: Simon’s tell-tale pencil end against his arm. “Can I borrow a piece of paper?” 

Baz nods and turns around to hand it over, careful not to look at Simon. He doesn’t want to see the indifference on his face, the subtle hurt at Baz’s random distancing. But Simon clears his throat, and Baz, a constant disappointment to himself, meets his eyes. 

They’re carefully shielded, and Baz realized with a start that he could barely read them as well as he used to. Simon smiles at him slightly, whispering a soft ‘thank you’ as Baz nods again, before turning back around. 

It isn’t until close to the end of the class until he feels the tap of a pencil again, and a paper being passed to him. He opens it gingerly, tracing a fingertip over the messily written words. Less messy than usual, he notes, and he smiles at the thought of Simon trying to tame his handwriting. 

Can we talk? I have scones I’ve missed splitting with someone. 

There’s two boxes underneath, and it’s so utterly cute that Baz can’t help but tick “yes” and pass it back to Simon. And the smile on his face when he sees it, Baz thinks, is worth the heartbreak. 

***

He meets Simon on a bench in the park they used to frequent as children, and Simon waves the bag of scones in the air. 

Baz sits next to him, accepting half a scone and watching Simon push dirt around with the tip of his shoe. 

“You said you wanted to talk?” 

“Yeah, I did,” Simon admits, “Listen Baz, I didn’t mean anything I said that day. It was stupid of me and I shouldn’t have any of it.” 

Baz nods, repeating the apology. It falls flat even to his ears, and so it comes as no surprise when Simon frowns. 

“Baz? What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, Simon.” 

“Why didn’t you like it when Agatha and I were together?” Simon asks suddenly, apparently having reached a conclusion. 

Why don’t you talk to him? 

Baz raises an eyebrow, and a sweet smile graces Simon’s face. 

“Say it,” Simon whispers. “Please.” 

And Baz looks at the boy in front of him, his constant throughout everything, and thinks of all the times they’d spent in this park together, never quite expecting it to turn out like this. 

“I love you, Simon,” he says softly, and Simon grins, pulling Baz to him. 

“Me too, Baz. I think I always have.” 

Simon kisses him softly, and pulls him into an embrace when they part. And as Baz hugs Simon tighter, he sends another thank you to Ms. Rosemary, who’d brought this gorgeous nightmare of a boy into his life in the first place. Because truly, when he thinks about it, he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

#snowbaz fic #COC 2019 #coc19 #carry on countdown 2019 #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #baz x simon #penny bunce #agatha #fic #it's a day late sorry but it's here :) #friends to lovers au #fav trope/cliche #carry on countdown #carry on fic

[emmabnn]

- A Brutal Rip in Reality -

- A Brutal Rip in Reality -

- 𝙎𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙁𝙖𝙣𝙁𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣  -

*ongoing *word count so far: +/- 32K

Description:

This story is about Lilly-Mae, a not so usual twenty-five-year-old, who enjoys the risky things in life with her best friend Thomas. Exploring other dimensions was something they did often -- until they ended up in a place they rather didn't. A world crawling with the Supernatural. Lucky for them, in that world, heroes without capes risk their lives daily to get rid of those nasty creatures. They call themselves hunters. --

- ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ - This being a supernatural fan-fiction, there is gonna be blood, torture, gory detailed scenes, there might be mentioning of depression, self-harm, suicide,... --

- ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɪɴꜰᴏ - Ongoing #Supernatural fan-fiction that doesn't follow the show so the boys are younger - they're twenty-seven and thirty-one but you'll see that the bunker is already introduced, people that are dead might still be alive, they already know characters they technically didn't know at that age. It'll end up leaning towards a Castiel/fic, but it will have a rather slow build-up. This as originally posed on Wattpad (@Confused_cas)

Lilly-Mae and Thomas Reed are my own original characters. If you're interested in seeing a visual representation of Lilly-Mae you might want to look up; Laurel Toma. --

- ᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ɪɴꜱᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ - Keep in mind, I'm a mediocre writer with dyslexia, so take spelling mistakes lightly... I pour my heart and soul into this story... If you feel the need to correct an error, feel free to do so, but be nice, please... ( '́з'̀)

𝑀𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓁❁𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑒𝓃𝒿❁𝓎

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎: 𝙰 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 -

A thin blanket of morning dawn hung over the fields of Mr. Joseph's farm. That spiteful rooster that caused me to wake up from my sleep in the most brutal manner, was once again singing whatever hell song he sang every morning. Singing is too polite, rather screaming, although the sun wasn't supposed to come up for another hour.

My bare feet ran through the damp grass while the cold morning air danced between my locks of dark brown hair. Causing goosebumps to cover my entire body.

About ten minutes ago, Thomas sent me a text asking to meet him in the barn of the farmer, also known as Thoms dad. His father knew we spent time together at the barn, which he didn't like. I lost count of the amount of times he caught us and I had to ran home so quick that my own feet couldn't follow.

It was an emergency, Thom said, so I was in a hurry. So much so that I left the house without shoes, still in my pajamas. His message sounded pretty serious, only another reason for me to be more curious than a child on Christmas morning. When the barn finally appeared on the horizon, I could feel my stomach do a back flip, filling itself with butterflies. Their wings fluttering, causing healthy tingles to flow through me. The feeling caused my cheeks to burn, leaving them completely red behind.

What Thom and I had was unique. We've known each other for the longest time. We practically grew up together. Which, made the situation only more complicated.

'He's like a brother to you.'

That was the sentence I forced myself to believe. Though, the fact that I obligated myself to not have feelings for him spoke for itself.

Out of breath and gasping for air, I finally arrived at the typical red barn. Carefully I crawled through one of the planks that had come loose months ago during a wild storm.

"Thom?" I asked softly, expecting a response. Moonlight shone through the many cracks in the wood, creating just enough light for me to be able to see. Except for some old boxes, a broken-down tractor that has been here for as long as I can remember and some hay was there nothing special to see.

"Thomas?" Sounded my voice again, louder this time. Once again, no answer. A short-annoyed sigh escaped from in-between my lips. This wasn't the first time he would text me, asking me to join him, only for him to hide and scare me. Once he didn't even show up, he pranked me, while he was still in his cozy bed at home, probably laughing at me for falling for his "prank".

"Dammit Thomas, you're 25 years old, cut the crap." I snapped, and decided to take a seat on the hay covered floor, leaning against the tractor. To be fair, I'm not the sportiest person, and running all that way got me exhausted. Apart from my heavy breathing, was there no other sound to be heard. No cars driving past, not a single cricket in the tall grass. Even that spiteful rooster went quiet. That was when I realized the weird atmosphere around me. It was cold -- but not just the frisky type of cold. A chill that creates tiny clouds when you exhale. It left your nails blue. At that same time, I had trouble breathing, as the only air filling my lungs was the dry and warm desert kind of air. Black spots started appearing in front of my eyes, obstructing my vision. It consumed me and dragged me into a fear I've never felt before.

Two hands on my shoulders shook me awake from the panic I was drowning in. Greeted by two electric blue eyes was I slowly returning to earth. His lips were moving, but there were no words coming out. Murmur was the only thing I could hear, until I finally fully returned, both feet back in reality.

"Thom?" I asked, mumbling.

"Lilly-Mae, everything okay? You look like you just saw a ghost." A small chuckle in his voice that tried to cover his concern. That however, didn't work on me. He was kneeling in front of me, right at my eye level, inches away from my face. He managed to get me back on my feet. "Lilly?" He asked again, looking for an answer as his fingertips gently brushed a strand of hair out of my face, causing those tingles to start flowing.

"You crazy? You know you can't leave me alone here." I snapped at him, and flung his hand away from me. My reaction was pretty dramatic, but that way I was able to hide those feelings deep within me. I didn't fully lie though, that what just happened was an attack. I have those sometimes, but especially here, where the walls between worlds are thin. When I've an attack, it's like my soul already made the step into the dream world, while my body is stuck in reality. I see, smell and hear things at the other side.

"Sorry... didn't mean to leave you alone, I was um -- looking at the dream world portal, it's... different than usual." He said unsure. "What do you mean, different?"

"The color, it's orange?" I frowned my eyebrows at his response. Orange? Usually they're blue, sometimes purple... but orange -- what could that mean? My stomach turned, I didn't have a good feeling about this, but my curiosity got the better of me.

We started walking towards the portals' location, which was also in a different place than usual. "Maybe we end up on a subtropical island this time." Thomas said laughing, but I didn't react because I was still trying to shake that terrible feeling from before, unsuccessfully. The portal appeared under the roof of the barn, truly an odd place. "It has never appeared here, and that color..." I whispered worriedly. My concern made the tall man next to me laugh. "The color and different location is what makes you uneasy? But you're cool with the fact that portals to other dimensions exist?" He had a point, nothing about traveling through them was normal, yet we've been doing it for years.

"You wanna go take a peek?" Thom asked curiously, inches away from the orange crack in time and space. It was beautiful, lively -- yet something just didn't feel right. The palms of my hand started to sweat; Thom was getting too close to it for my liking.

"I -- I don't know, something's off."

"Oh, you and your premonitions. Let's just go and see, we know how these things work, Lilly. Just -- relax." Relax? Relax my ass. That one word was enough for me to get annoyed. "How many times have my premonitions been wrong?" I asked in defense.

"We don't know that, because we always listen to it. C'mon, let's do something risky for once?" His puppy eyes shimmering with the orange light of the portal. "Once? As if traveling to other dimensions isn't risky enough on its own." An angry sigh escaped me, and with crossed arms I decided to create more space between me and the crack. "You do what you want, I'm gonna see what's on the other side."

"Thomas." I growled his name as a warning. His blue eyes that were looking at me were playful as his hand reached towards the portal.

His gesture made my glare drift towards the orange light while that bizarre feeling plunged me again. A force pulled my soul back in a roller coaster of images, feelings and smells that I didn't sign up for. An image of a cold, dark place hit me on the back of the head. Walls dripping in blood, meat hooks decorated with body parts hung from the ceiling in rows. It looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie. The room came to life with jerky movements that caused me to feel sick. People with bizarre long cloaks entered the room, their faces hidden behind masks -- no, there were no masks. Their faces were deformed. They all took a seat on chairs that stood in the room in a half circle, all pointing towards the center. Their distorted faces that you rather didn't encounter flashed before my eyes as nauseating laughter filled my ears. Another flash, my eyes now focused on what the creatures were looking at. In the middle of the room, a woman strapped with her hands above her head held by one of the meat hooks. Her once blonde hair hung in front of her face, drenched in her own blood.

The atmosphere in the room how ever, was filled with joy, impatience and hunger. Another man entered the room, he ripped what was left of her clothing off her body and I did everything I could to wake up. Everything to return back to reality, my own world -- but it was impossible. The man started to speak, and when I realized what was going on at the other side of the portal, I collapsed.

"No!" I cried out, once again was Thom able to put me on my both feet. "Lilly!" He roared, and my eyes flew open. "We can't go there -- we can't! It's dark there and -- there are bad things there -- they do things they shouldn't Thom! Please -- let's just go back home, please?" I was able to stand somewhat straight up, mumbling, both my hands-on Thomas's shoulders for support. Tears rolling down my cheeks as salty waterfalls. Although I was awake in this reality, I didn't have control over my body. I kept on walking towards him, feet stumbling over every little obstacle on the floor. "Let's just go home, Thom... please."

"Lilly -- stop, what are you doing?" He looked terrified, but my feet didn't stop moving. I wanted to get closer and closer to him, while he just moved further and further away from me. "If we go to that place, we won't be able to make it back." I whispered.

Before realizing it myself, my foot got caught on one of the protruding nails of the wooden floor.

"Lilly!"

I pushed Thomas through the portal, and fell behind him.

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚘: 𝙽𝚘 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 -

Orange light flashes flew passed me as we were making the fall to the other dimension. I wanted to scream, cry out for help, but the lack of oxygen made that impossible. It was as if we were surrounded by flames that could burn us any second, but they didn't. The contrary, the tunnel of the portal opened up, becoming wider. Revealing its true beauty. The flames took on a different form, a warm sunset. It reminded me of the evenings Thomas and I would spend together, sitting on the roof of the barn. The memory playing in my head took the focus off the horrible pain I was in. Because traveling through something supernatural comes with an expensive price tag.

A hard-concrete floor broke my fall, rolling, scraping, I finally came to a stop, but not without injuries. The palms of my hands bleeding, the thin fabric of my pajamas ripped in some places, revealing my damaged skin that was coated in a thin layer of blood. Gasping for air, I felt my heart beating in a fast and unsteady rhythm. The oxygen that filled my lungs was accompanied by an odor that was familiar to me. Sweat, blood and rotting flesh was polluting the air. Without even having to look, I knew exactly where I was.

When I finally found my courage I looked up, and was confronted with my speculations. Rusted meat hooks hung above me, the body part attached to it fresh, still dripping blood that was collecting in a puddle right in front of me. My vision however wasn't completely correct. The room was empty, but the chairs where the people with distorted faces sat on, were present.

'I have to get out of here.'  Was the first thing that came to mind, but that plan, or more so idea was brutally ripped from my mind when the door opened.

"What do we have here?" Sounded a voice, coming from behind me. It knocked the air out of my lungs as I turned around anxiously. The man I saw in my vision earlier, the one that ripped the last pieces of clothing of that poor woman's body stood before me. A wicked grin on his face.

"Got lost, sweetheart?" He asked -- I wanted to answer, try to make up and excuse, but I knew it was too late for that. This was his property, his personal mousetrap, and I walked right into it. The lump in my throat made of fear was too big and I wasn't even able to make a sound that was supposed to represent a word.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you." He said in a warm voice, which completely threw me off. His sympathetic speech gave me hope for a split-second. Hope that I could make it out alive. However, all of that disappeared when I saw him reach for a rope. He walked towards me, suggesting that I joined him in the middle of the room, but when my body didn't respond quick enough, he pulled at my arm. My weak legs almost gave away due to his brute force.

"No worries, I won't hurt you -- besides, such a pretty face, it would be a shame. I won't ruin what is going to make me a lot of money." I stood inches from his body that was easily twice the size of mine. His hands looked like they could break bones with ease. Still speechless, I looked up at him, my light brown eyes in contact with his -- orange eyes? He wasn't human -- humans don't have orange eyes.

His words about how I was gonna make him a lot of money were still on my mind, until the confusion finally rolled off my tongue.

"Money?"

"No worries." He said again in his warm, comforting voice as he tied my hands together, to then hang me with the rope on one of the hooks, my hands high above my head.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Lilly -- Lilly-Mae." I exhaled. "Pleasure to meet you, Lilly. If I'm allowed to call you that. Now, how old are you?"

"Twenty-five."

"Magnificent." His hand held my right cheek for a moment as he looked in my eyes, as if he was hopelessly in love with me. As if he had known me for years. But I knew better, he wasn't looking at me, he was dreaming about the cash I'd make him.

"Lilly-" He said, squishing my cheeks briefly, causing a soft pulling pain. "I'll be right back, with some company who would love to meet you." He did as he told and disappeared not much later, causing the silence to return to the room once the door was closed behind him. My eyes looked up, at the hook that was covered in a thin layer of dried blood, that held me tightly in place. My nails were already turning blue due to the lack of blood flow, my mind filled with thoughts.

Thomas, he also fell through, I'm not alone, he must be here somewhere -- but where? I felt bad that the first thing on my mind was the fact that he could save me, and not that I was concerned about his safety. He wasn't in this room, who knows what they will do to him when they find him?

We were caught in an auction house, a twisted one where they sell people instead of old crappy art. All I had left was my best friend to save me of whom I didn't even know was still alive. With my eyes pointed back to the concrete floor, I took a deep breath.

"Crap..."

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎: 𝟻 𝟺 𝟹 𝟸 𝟷 -

With my mind on zero, my eyes were fixed on the door in front of me and my ears focused on every sound they could pick up. Honestly, I had no clue what I was doing. Searching for a solution was impossible. Praying? Useless. Hoping for a miracle was pathetic, and I had no intentions of spending my last day on earth, being pathetic.

My senses dominated me. Smell, taste, hearing, vision, touch. I wanted to spend my last day on earth, human. The rotting blood scent filled my lungs and a similar taste settled on my tongue. The sound of restless movements and blurry conversations that took place at the other side of the door filled my ears. My eyes, which allowed me to see, absorbed all the color it encountered. There weren't many in this rather dark room, but when they came across a small flower pot that stood on a desk in the corner of my room, my pupils grew interested. The plant that once stood in it, had long since died. But the color of the pot itself caught my attention. Mikado yellow, a beautiful, vibrant yellow color that reminded me of sunflower fields, or the sun in a child's drawing. The cold floor where I stood on with my bare feet shot signals through my nerves. So did the thick rope that was slowly cutting into my wrists.

In that exact same order, smell, taste, hearing, vision and touch. That was how I arranged my senses. Smell the least important in my opinion. Touch the exact opposite. Is that strange? Having a favorite sense? Probably -- I suppose that's just what I am -- strange.

My senses dominated me, until the door opened again, and fear took over.

"Take a seat,  gentlemen. Get comfy -- there's plenty of room for all of you." Spoke the man that stood before me about an hour ago. The hairs in my neck stood on end when I saw distorted faces entering the room, hidden under long hoods, their bizar colored eyes most prominent. Again -- not human. Trembling, my eyes started to scan all the -- creatures, until they all had taken their seats, the door closed behind them.

"Welcome -- welcome, I know this is quite unexpected, you could even call it unusual. Two auctions in one day. But what can I say?" His eyes shot towards my direction while he pointed at me, a twisted smile on his face. "She literally walked straight into my hands." Laughter filled the room, causing a chill to slowly crawl its way up my spine.

"Shall we just get started then?" The room agreed and I could barely breathe.

"This is Lilly-Mae, or Lilly, if you're nice enough." Soft laughter bounced around the room, but my eyes didn't leave the man in front of me alone for a single second, watching him as he paced back and forth. "Twenty-five years of age, incredibly soft skin, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious as to what she'd taste like." A thin layer of water formed in my eyes.

"So I suggest we all have a taste." Once again, the room agreed, and a man with a knife and a glass carafe approached me. Not long after, the cold iron cut through me like a warm knife through butter. My blood felt warm running down my chilled skin as it got collected in the carafe.

"Patience, gentlemen." He said, trying to calm the room down. Revealing the thick, red liquid caused the creatures to become restless. They were hungry and made sounds you only hear in horror movies. To my surprise revealed everyone a small glass, for my blood to be poured into. When he said they were gonna have a taste of me, he meant it literally. The precious liquid was shared fairly among all the guests. They treated my blood like an expensive old wine.

"Go for it, gentlemen."

With their heads tilted backwards, they poured it down their throats in one go, like a shot. They were hungry, impatient. Like a wild animal that finally caught its prey after days of hunting. Not much after, the room was filled with I assume are supposed to be compliments, addressed to me. They said things about how special I tasted, how unique and pure I was. But those compliments quickly turned into inappropriate comments. Things they wanted to do to me, how they were gonna do it. Everything was being explained down to the smallest detail, and it made me feel sick.

"Lilly --" A striking voice shot out to me. "It might cost me my life, but you're mine." Vibrant blue eyes were hidden underneath a hood, creating confusion within me.

"Let's start the bidding!" Yelled the owner enthusiastically, who had just wiped his mouth clean after also having had a taste of me.

"Five thousand dollar." The audience immediately started mentioning absurdly high numbers. Not even a minute passed and, they had reached ten thousand. How rare and precious is food for them if they are willing to spend that kind of money?

"We're with more than seven billion people on the planet, why spend so much on me?" I mumbled, and the room went silent. "Enough food, right?" I added.

"Oh, but you're not just food, darling. You're so much more." Snarled a voice.

"When we buy you, you become ours, our property."

"And with your own property, you do as you please."

I felt lightheaded as my thoughts explored the worst scenarios. My instinct told me to escape, to run, but my body wasn't doing anything. Most of my senses were completely paralyzed, but I could feel my heart beating. I felt the unsteady beat pumping through my veins. I could hear it. A sassy comeback with a lot of attitude was ready on the tip of my tongue, but that's where it stayed.

'You're a nice person, your rudeness is just your defense mechanism.'  Thomas's old words were going through my mind. He was right, every time it got too much for me to handle was cursing my way out.

"Fifty thousand!" Shouted that strangely familiar voice again. The creature skipped over twenty grands in one offer, and it made the rest of the guests enraged.

"Fifty-five thousand!" Roared another voice in attack, but less than a second later that number got kicked into the ground by the other creature.

"Sixty-five thousand!" And just like that, the bidding war between the two continued until they reached a hundred thousand dollars. They went quiet, as if they needed to catch their breath. Did someone win? Were they going to go even further? Yes. The answer was yes.

"Two hundred thousand." Said the one with the blue eyes. His voice calm and confident.

"Are you insane?" Exclaimed his rival. "What are you gonna do? Sell your house for some sex and a supper?" The blue-eyed creature didn't reply, he won, that's all that mattered to him. I was his property now, and his eyes met mine.

"Two hundred thousand dollar, once."

Silence.

"Twice."

My heart was pounding underneath my rib cage. My breathing heavy.

"SOLD!"

My blood pressure collapsed, causing my legs to give away, my ears ringing. I was sold for two hundred thousand dollars, and now belonged to someone -- something, that could do whatever he wanted with me. He wanted me from the second he laid his eyes on me, and his desires were fulfilled.

"Go ahead, collect what's yours." Spoke the owner of the auction house. Pointing at me, at his price. The man stood up, his blue eyes focused on me. He was tall, but not all too buff. His cloak that was too short revealed a pair of worn-down sneakers. Sneakers that seemed familiar. His hands reached towards the rope that held me tightly. That was when I realized why I've been so confused for so long.

"I don't think you've been here before, what's your name?" Asked the owner.

"Thomas." The blue-eyed person replied.

It was Thomas that bought me, he bought me with money that he didn't have. He was untying the rope, but his eyes never left my gaze.

"Sorry." He whispered so softly that I could barely hear it. There was a crack in his voice because of the dryness in his mouth. I wanted to say something, thank him, but I couldn't manage a single word.

"Congratulations Thomas, as you know, house rules. We only accept cash, the entire amount, at once." He was a dead man walking. Thom never had money on him. It was a damn miracle if he had a five-dollar bill in his pocket.

"Wait, what?" Answered Thom, genuine confusion in his voice. "I never received that information. I have the money, but not with me." The atmosphere in the room changed from the second he spoke those words. The owner sighed and came closer.

"I knew this was gonna cause problems. A newcomer offering such a sum?" Some of the other creatures were also standing up. Were we exposed? Did they know Thom wasn't one of them?

"You know what? I'll give you another chance. Go your way, next time you want buy, you bring cash. Meanwhile, Lilly-Mae will go to Osain for a hundred thousand."

No -- this couldn't be happening. I was safe, Thom made sure I was safe. My world collapsed in front of my very own two eyes, as Thom his blue eyes sought out mine.

"No, that's not happening." Thomas objected. "I fairly won the bidding, like I said -- I have the money, just not on me."

"Where then? Somewhere in Europe where you think we won't be able to find you?" Snapped the owner, who clearly had enough of the situation. "Because then you're thinking wrong, friend."

"We'll be looking for you and her, and you don't even wanna know what happens once we find you." Added another creature. It quickly became clear to me that everyone knew everyone here very well. Like at a local café, but instead of enjoying a beer together, they enjoy some human flesh. Thomas's eyes went from looking at me, to staring at the ground. He was thinking, and I watched as he struggled, biting on the insides of his cheeks.

"Can I talk to her for a second?" He asked hopelessly. It went quiet, most of the creatures were just straight up confused because of his question. Apparently, you're not supposed to care for the item you're buying. But Thomas did care.

"Um -- Sure?" The owner answered slowly. Thom's hands immediately grabbed my shoulders, his face inches away from mine.

"Lilly, I'm sorry." His voice was silent, but filled with panic. "I hope you can forgive me, because I know I'll never be able to forgive myself. I see no other way out, you mean so much to me -- and I promised you I'd protect you, and I failed. I'll make sure no one will be able to ever hurt you again. These monsters, they won't get you, I won't let that happen. I'm sorry -- and I want you to know that I love you. Now, listen carefully to what I'm about to say, kay?"

I nodded as a response, my eyes drowning in tears, my thoughts confused.

"When I step back, you close your eyes, and keep them closed, doesn't matter what happens, okay? Once they're closed, start counting down from five to one. Do you think you can do that for me?"

"Yes..." My voice cracked.

Salty water ran down both his cheeks. His hands left my shoulders as he started to walk backwards. The last thing I saw before closing my eyes was his hand that reached inside of his pocket.

"'Till at the other side, Lilly-Mae." Thomas said, and I started to count down.

Five

Four

Three

Two

One

Bam, and I was dead.

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛: 𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚑 -

He held a gun to my head, my eyes were closed, and bam -- I was dead. A mercy shot. That was the thing he hoped I would be able to forgive him. He only did it to spare me from the horrific things Osain would've done to me.

There I went, my body crashed on the hard-concrete floor, causing the room to explode in anger. The owner just lost a number ending with five zeros. The monsters lost their company and dinner. The impact of the bullet that had flown straight through my forehead in a smooth motion caused my eyes to fly back open. Laying on the floor in my own blood, mixed with that of the previous victims, I looked before me. The big rusted door still directly in front of me, blocked by two pairs of feet. Thom's and those of the owner.

That was when I realized something was wrong. I was dead, yet I heard, smelled, saw, and felt things. I couldn't move and when they started attacking Thomas, I knew I walked straight into my worst nightmare. The monsters flew at him like wild animals. They ripped his clothing, sinking their teeth in his skin. His screaming filled my ears, but there wasn't anything I could do -- except watch. I was trapped in my own body; I had no control. They chewed on his flesh like piranhas, causing a blood bath. Not much later and his body hit the floor. Inches in front of me, his hand almost in contact with mine. My head was filled with my own screaming. He called out for help, begged for mercy, but they didn't listen. The only one listening to the words he cried out, was me.

He continued to fight, trying to escape from their sharp teeth that bit into him over and over, until -- he went silent. His eyes lifeless -- the only movement his body was making, caused by the monsters who were digging around in it. I was going to be next; they didn't care if I was dead. Meat is meat, and if I had to believe them, I tasted too good to waste.

The image of Thomas lifeless eyes that were looking at me was the only thing I could focus on, next to the fear I was in. I wished I was dead, really, dead. Not whatever state I was in now.

'Thomas.' I thought. I wanted to cry, scream, but I couldn't do anything, anything but watch. 'I'm sorry...'

A loud noise in the distance caught my attention. It came from outside the room. Not a second later and the door flew open. Three pairs of new feet were visible. More monsters? No. Shots were being fired, causing the bodies of the creatures to drop like flies. Help had arrived after all, but they were too late. A fight took place that lasted about five minutes before each monster was killed. One of the new men that just burst in got injured, but apparently it wasn't too bad.

"Dammit -- " A deep voice said. "we're too late, again!"

"Try to look at it positively, Dean. At least they're dead now. They can't make any more victims." Replied the one that had been injured, but that Dean he mentioned didn't agree.

"Sure -- Sam." He said sarcastically, before turning to the other man in the room. "Cas -- how long have they been dead?" The third man, who was wearing a beige trench coat sat down on his knees right next to Thom. His hand a few inches above his body that started to shine a bright white light. "About ten minutes." He replied in a deep, rough voice.

"Fifteen minutes earlier, and the poor bastard would've survived." Dean sighed before turning his attention to me. "And her?" He asked, pointing. The man in the trench obviously had supernatural powers. Maybe he could notice that I'm still somewhat alive? My instinct said to make a noise, so I mentally started to scream. Now he sat next to me on his knees, his hand hovering over my body. That light appeared again, followed by a warm feeling that went through me.

'I'm still alive! I don't know how, but please, help me!' I cried out mentally. He didn't reply, however, I was unable to see his face, I was able to pick up his confusion.

"She -- um.."

'Yes! You can hear me... I know you can!' I shouted at him.

"Cas?" Sam asked. "She's still alive." He replied.

'Yes!'

"What?" Dean sounded confused. "You can literally see the other side of the room through her skull, what do you mean, she's still alive?"

'I don't know, just -- get me out of here, please?'

"She doesn't know why she's still alive. I don't understand... She feels human. Well --" Cas's voice was filled to the brim with confusion. "Maybe not a hundred percent."

"Then what is she? Demon, angel?" Sam asked. "No." Answered Cas convinced. "What do we do?" Asked Dean who clearly didn't want to stay in this room much longer.

'Take me with you, please. I don't know what you could do to make me any better, maybe I'll still die. But please, I don't wanna die here, not on this floor.'

"We'll take her to the bunker." Cas suggested, and the other two didn't protest. Not much later, I was laying in Cas's arms, like a dead body. My head tilted backwards, my arms lightly swaying back and forth due to his walking. Just before we left the room my eyes caught a glimpse of Thomas. His blood-covered body on the ground, or what was left of it anyways. The owner of the auction house laid beside him; his body filled with bullet holes.

I took a brief moment to mentally thank Cas for giving me a chance. For getting me out of that dreadful place. With the room behind us, the worst thought hit me. If not for the good nature of the supernatural being that was now caring me, I would've stayed there. I would've died looking in Thoms dead eyes. That wasn't the worst outcome haunting my imagination. What if I didn't die? What if I lived and was forced to stare at Thomas's body that would slowly decompose? That fragment of imagination would stick with me for the rest of my life.

When we finally made it out of that nightmarish building, warm sunshine shone down on my body. Cas with me in his arms walked behind Sam and Dean. My mind filled with fear and panic as I imagined that scenario.

"It's okay." He suddenly whispered, trying to comfort me, so quietly that only I could hear it. "You're safe with us."

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚟𝚎: 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚌 𝚌𝚊𝚛 -

Laying on the backseat of a 67 Chevy Impala, I was completely lost. Accompanied by three strange men who were taking me to a place I didn't know, in a world, I didn't belong. Sam and Dean were sitting in the front of the car, the one with the shorter hair behind the wheel, while Cas sat in the back with my head laying on his lap, rather uncomfortably. Laying down like this forced me to look up at him, although I tried to focus on the roof of the car instead.

There hung an awkward silence in the vehicle that I wanted to break, but couldn't. As if Dean was able to read my mind, he spoke. "So, uh -- are we gonna talk about this or what?" The man sitting next to him shifted awkwardly, shortly looking over his shoulder at me.

"What do you want to discuss?" Cas asked, causing Dean to become slightly annoyed. "The dead chick in the back?" He replied rather rude, before also letting his glare drift off to me. "That is bleeding all over the car seat!" He angrily added. "Well, she's not dead." Cas replied in defense. "And how do you know that?" Sam questioned. "Does she still have a heartbeat?" Dean continued. Cas his blue eyes that reminded me so much of Thomas's looked at me before replying, as if he needed to check.

"No..." He answered rather quiet. "Dude, I know you're weird, I know we do weird crap, but carrying a dead chick around?" I was honestly getting offended by Dean calling me a dead chick, over and over.

'I'm not dead though...' I thought, sighing.

"Dean, she just said that she's not dead. Also, she doesn't like being called a dead chick." It was as if the two had to process what Cas just had shared, and so did I. The silence only made me concentrate more on the fact that he was still listening to my thoughts.  

"You can hear her?" Asked Sam, breaking the quietness. "Her thoughts, yes. I'm still a celestial being, remember?"

'A celestial being? He's an--'

"An angel, that is correct." He replied aloud before I was even able to question it fully. And just like that, my world flipped upside down for the fiftieth time today.

"So she can hear us?" The long-haired man asked, who by now was fully turned around on his seat, his eyes on me and the apparent angel, who nodded as a reply. "So we can just ask her questions and via you get the answers?" He once again nodded.

"What is she?" Dean immediately asked, again a rather rude tone to his voice.

'Jeez, buy me a drink first.'

"She wants you to buy her a drink first." Cas translated my thoughts into speech, literally. Making Sam and I chuckle for a bit. Cas gave us a few confused looks before deciding to ignore us.  "If I recall correctly, she doesn't know how she's still alive, so I doubt she knows what she is." So far I know, I'm human. Hell, I just found out a couple of hours ago that non-human things exist. "She's human, she thinks." Cas said, but I'm certain that no one believed me, not even the angel himself.

I wondered what other forced questions Dean would ask, but Cas was first to ask me something. "What's your name?"

'Thank God for a normal question.' I quickly regretted mentioning... Him. If angels exist, God must be a thing as well.

'Lilly-Mae, um -- did I offend you by mentioning, you know who?' I asked, trying to ignore the Harry Potter reference I just made, just to be sure he knows I didn't mean to be rude. "Nice to meet you, Lilly-Mae, and no. You didn't offend me by mentioning my Father." A small smile on his lips to reassure me.

'So, God was real, angels are real, monsters are a thing, anything I'm missing?'

"Demons." Cas replied is a monotone deep voice. 'Well, fu--'

"Where are you from?" Asked Dean. How on earth was I going to explain this?

"You want us to contact any one of your family so they know you're safe?" Sam proposed. Family, I don't have. I spend the first five years of my life with a drug addict of an aunt, to end up in one orphanage to the other until I was old enough to work and live on my own.  

"She doesn't have a family." Cas informed the others. Looked like I managed to avoid the big bad with that reply. "What big bad?" The angel asked innocently.

'Well, crap. Here goes nothing I suppose. I'm not really from, here? Thomas and I, we ended up here after traveling through a portal.'

"Thomas?" Asked Cas, while ignoring the rest of my reply for whatever reason. 'Yea, Thomas, the half-eaten dude back at the auction house? That was Thomas.'  I replied rather annoyed because the wound of just having lost the only and most important person in my life was still tender.

"So you're not from this world?" The angel asked. I'm sure he just wanted to know more about me not being from here, but for some reason, it felt like he tried getting my mind off the bad thoughts that were haunting my mind by asking that question. I wanted to shake my head in response, but couldn't. However, I didn't have a chance to reply because Dean and Sam looked at Cas, worried, but more so confused. The angel took his time to explain everything we've spoken about so far, and that gave me some room to breathe and try to place all the new information.

Supernatural beings exist. Turns out I'm not as human as I thought I was, then again, it would explain why I have those nasty attacks and visions. And not being from this world didn't end up being that big of a deal after all? It helped clarify why Cas was unable to 'read me' as he explained. That's why he doesn't know what I am, it's because I'm not from this world.

"By the way, sweetheart." Dean sounded, waking me up from my thoughts. "I'm Dean Winchester, this is my younger brother Sam, and the angel you're laying on is Cas." They're brothers, that actually made a lot of sense.

'Well, nice to meet you guys, I'm Lilly-Mae Mooney, and um -- thanks for saving my life.'

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚡: 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚋𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 -

With my eyes focused on the clock that hung on the wall in front of me, I saw the time tick over to midnight, it was now officially the eighth of August. Exactly three weeks ago the boys found me on the concrete floor of a warehouse, a hole through my skull after being shot in the head by Thomas. I was alone in my room at the moment. A room I was gifted by the brothers in their home. Their home they called the bunker. It was cozy here, although I only saw parts of it for a short period of time. My room was located next to Deans, right over Sam's, at least that's what the boys told me.

I was still trapped inside of my own body, still unable to speak or move, however, there was good news, my head injury was healing well, thanks to Cas's angel powers. Who I found out is actually called Castiel, and not Cas. It took him more than two weeks to build up the courage to tell me his full name. I made a complete fool of myself calling him Cas for weeks, even though I didn't know him well enough yet to be addressing him by his nickname.

I assumed the boys were asleep by now it being passed midnight already, but then again they are never up to any good. I've got to know them better with time, and I'd like to think they kind of like me by now? Castiel usually talks for me, so we were able to have somewhat of a conversation. Cas, however, leaves my cursing out for the most part, which I don't blame him. I tend to curse quite often, but I've told him he doesn't need to make me sound nicer than I really am. He never gave a reply to that... I honestly think he doesn't have the guts to curse himself. Which I assume is normal, him being an angel and all.

"I just don't think it's appropriate for me to curse, Lilly-Mae." His voice filled the room, startling me. I'm never going to get used to him just, popping in like that. As per usual, he apologized for scaring me, and I told him it was fine. That was kind of our ritual by now. He decided to take a seat next to me on the bed, his blue eyes focused on me. I still was unable to move, blink, or look around, so he made sure I was able to see him.

"My apologies for leaving you alone with the brothers today." When I'm alone with Sam and Dean is communicating literally impossible, but I understood that Castiel still had Heaven business to attend.

"How was your day?"

'Well, watching the clock was very interesting.' I replied sarcastically, which the angel didn't appreciate. "Is sarcasm something contagious?" I laughed at his question. The Winchesters are also masters in the practice of sarcasm, but I was a goddess.

'It's something you're born with.' I replied, and if I was able I would've smiled at the butt hurt angel. "And with honestly." He said, and I cursed him for being able to read me like a book.

"Cursing people isn't nice."

'Well, you're not human, now are you?'

"Touché. But Lilly-Mae, we've spoken about this before. Humans need to talk with people about things. It's important for your mental health."

'I can't believe how much that sounds like a Dean sentence. Did Dean tell you that?' The angel was concerned about me, for all the right reasons. I was trapped in my own head. Left alone with my thoughts for weeks now. I had built a private movie theater for myself up in my mind, and the movie that had been playing for weeks; Being Mauled by Werewolves, featuring Thomas Reed.

"You want to talk about Thomas?"

'What else do you want me to say about him, Castiel? We talk about him daily, it doesn't help. He's dead, but that's the thing about life, isn't it? No one makes it out alive.' He took a deep breath as his eyes left me behind to look in front of him. "I suppose you're right about that... And like I've said before, it's okay for you to call me Cas."

'When you start calling me Lilly.' I thought in defense. His eyes met mine again, an annoyed look on his face, and a long silence followed. He forced me to start thinking again, he forced me to go back to that damn seat in my theater. Flashes of him were all I saw. I could hear his voice again, screaming. I could almost feel his presence again, panicked. I once again started drowning in sorrow and heartache. No one ever tells you how much grief feels like fear. Two tears rolled down the sides of my face when I couldn't hold them back any longer.

'It's been three weeks Cas, three weeks ago he stopped breathing and I continued. I'm not over him.' I cried out mentally. His expression softened at my pain. "I'm not asking of you to get over him. I don't expect you to ever do so, I know what he meant to you, Lilly." He regretted pressuring me into confessing how I felt, but as he told me before, it had to happen. I had to talk, I needed a bit of help to process what's happened in a correct manner.

"You're strong and smart, but instead of breaking yourself down, you need to start defending yourself." He spoke words of wisdom and I agreed, but applying that theory wasn't all that easy. He gave me a moment to recollect my calmness and get my emotions under control before speaking.

"I've something for you." He said while revealing a phone with a headset attached. "I don't know if you enjoy music, but I popped by Dean's room before visiting you and took these with. I thought it could keep you entertained."

'You want Dean to get mad at me for stealing his music?' I asked playfully, but was thankful. "I doubt Dean will suspect you for stealing it, considering you are unable to move."

'Touché.' I said laughing. 'Thanks, Castiel.'

"What music do you like?" He asked while placing the headset over my ears.

'Honestly, right now I could listen to everything. Except for Justin Bieber... I don't do JB.' I saw him scrolling through Spotify while he was looking for a playlist he thought I'd enjoy. He eventually clicked on a playlist called 'A Brutal Rip in Reality' and alternative music started playing. It was literal music to my ears.

"I'll quickly heal you, and then I'll leave you to enjoy your music." The angel said, but I barely heard him due to the music. 'Is good, thanks Cas.' He pressed two times on the volume button to turn the music louder, completely blocking out all the sound around me, before standing up ready to start healing me. Joke's On You by Charlotte Lawrence was playing as the room lit up, that warm feeling flowing through me of Cas's grace healing the cells within my body. The music was the best thing that had happened to me in weeks, and when I was completely lost in it, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to enjoy it even more.

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath?

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗: 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍 -

My heart was beating and I was breathing. I had the smallest control over my facial muscles and I wanted to scream of happiness, but couldn't. The angel that stood next to me equally surprised at the sight of me showing signs of life. My eyes flew back open, immediately meeting the blue ones of Cas.

'You see this?' I asked overwhelmed, he nodded after having lost his words himself. His hard work finally started to show results and judging by his response, it looked like he might've lost hope. He had lost faith in himself for not being able to kick some life back into me. But he did manage, there I laid, breathing. "Are you able to speak?" He asked, and I had to give it a try. A hoarse noise left my throat as a heavy, forced breath.

'Doesn't look like it.'  I informed him, kind of disappointed, but I guess I should be happy with small steps. Without saying another word, the angel left the room leaving me alone for a couple of minutes to return with the brothers by his side.

Turned out I was still trapped in my own body.  However, it still worked after weeks of being deceased, so did my brain, it was like the two just lost the connection. The one not longer linked with the other.

"Strange..." Castiel said who stood at the foot end of my bed, next to him the oldest Winchester, both their eyes focused on me. "As far as I can tell, there's not too much brain damage to detect." He continued.

"But, half her brain was literally splattered all over the floor?" Asked Dean. In the few weeks I've known him, I had learned to appreciate his brutal honesty.

"So how can there not be too much damage? I know you've been healing her Cas, but you said it yourself, you can't create new brain parts that would replace the missing?" Questioned Sam who was sitting next to me on the bed.

'Magic.' I thought. "Magic." Castiel translated aloud, a small chuckle to be found in his voice. "Very funny, Lilly." Sighed the youngest brother while he was busy trying to feed me by a feeding tube he would lower into my throat because I was unable to swallow for myself. Ironic, isn't it? I didn't need the other half of my brain to live, but apparently, I still had to eat. Everything was so damn -- illogical

"If you're looking for logic, you ended up in the wrong universe." Answered Cas to me. My thoughts weren't my own anymore.

"My apologies." I didn't blame the angel for constantly lurking around in my thoughts, it's because of him that I'm still here, and alive.

I gagged because Sam removed the feeding tube incorrectly. "I'm sorry --" He apologized every time it happened, but it also happened every time Sam fed me because I have a weirdly sensitive gag reflex.

"It's okay, she just has a sensitive gag reflex." Castiel informed the others, oversharing my thoughts again. It was as if the angel didn't understand that humans don't like to just mindlessly share everything, with everyone. He didn't fully understand sarcasm or other non-straight to the point things. My eyes drifted towards Cas as I saw him tilt his head lightly to the left. My mind confused him, which was pretty entertaining to watch. I wondered if he would ever leave my thoughts alone to be my own again.

"Just so you know, I don't tend to read people's minds if not necessary. I am aware that doing so is rude." Did I just hurt his feelings? "He learned that the hard way." Dean added with a laugh. Looks like my mind wasn't the only one he used to snoop around in. "I don't see what is overshared about telling the brothers that you have a sensitive gag reflex?" He confusedly looked around the room, meeting everyone's eyes, looking for an answer. I know he's an angel and all, but he was too damn innocent. Dean wore a small smirk while patting Cas on the shoulder. "I don't know about you guys, but I could use some coffee." He continued, before turning his back to us, ready to leave the room. My eyes slowly made their way over to Sam who was still sitting on my bed, wondering if he was going to accept Dean's offer. He shook his head. "Yeah -- I think I prefer sleep, it's like one AM dude."

"Perfect time to do some more research." The oldest brother left the room as Sam started to clean the mess he made while feeding me. They attempted to find out what I was by looking through old smelly books, but me not being from this world made that task a lot more complicated. So far I still didn't show any reasons to not be human, apart from maybe surviving a bullet to the head, but if angels exist, so do miracles. And of course being able to sense out other dimensions, and maybe still being alive while my heart clearly stopped beating... Yeah, I wasn't human.

"Hey, Lilly?" Sam's voice pulled me out of my train of thoughts and I managed to make eye contact with the youngest brother, making him smile a bit. "I never noticed your tattoo before." He briefly rubbed over the moon tattoo I had on my left wrist with his right index finger. It was a simple line tattoo of the three phases of the moon.

"It is a tattoo of the three phases of the moon." The angel that was still present in the room helped me out a bit, making Sam's attempt at a conversation go smoother. "Yeah -- I can see that, does it have a meaning?"

'I'm a moonchild... so I thought, the moon. Honestly, I was drunk off my ass when I got that tattooed.'  

Castiel cleared his throat after having heard my response, I might have surprised him by saying I was drunk off my ass, but I'd like to think that I made him laugh. "Uh -- She said that she is a moonchild." Explained Cas to Sam, and not more, before the Winchester could ask what that meant I made Castiel's attention go back to me.

'Hey, I made a joke, well.. it wasn't a joke, I was actually hammered, but make me sound funny for once, Cas.'  

He briefly bit his bottom lip before speaking. "She also said, and I quote; 'Honestly, I was drunk off my ass when I got that tattooed.'" Sam laughed, victory, but on the other hand, Cas looked at me, disapproving. I managed to make a small smile appear on my face for just a moment, causing his harsh look to soften a bit.

"A moonchild? What does that mean?" Sam asked after having cleared his throat to get over his laughter. Before I could describe it to Castiel, he was already explaining it.

"A moonchild is someone born under the Cancer zodiac sign. They're known for being unique and curious souls. They tend to daze off quite easily, preferring to spend time in their fantasy world instead of having to live in this harsh reality. You could refer to them as being dreamers." To my surprise, the angel knew exactly what it was.

"When were you born?" Sam continued to ask, after having listened carefully to all the words Castiel had said. 'June twenty-first of nineteen eighty-five.'

"Ah, so you're twenty-five. Honestly thought you were a bit older." Sam smiled causing his cute ass dimples in his cheeks to appear, creating the urge in me to punch him in the face.

'I'll take that as a compliment I suppose.'

"She'll take that as a compliment. Yet she feels like punching you in the face?" The angel sounded confused but lucky for me, Dean entered the room again, in his hands his computer and a mug filled to the brim with coffee. "I had the best idea while I was making coffee." He said, a smile on his face. "Everyone likes movies, right? So, Lilly, I thought, you're probably bored out of your mind. Mind watching a movie with me?" It was impossible to resist his offer, yet I had to play hard to get. 'Depends on what movie you wanna watch.' Cas spoke my words aloud. "How about you choose, princess? Just one rule, no Frozen, anything but Frozen." Good to know that we're on the same wavelength.

That same night Dean sat next to me on the bed as we watched Life of Pi, which funny enough, he actually thought it was about pie, as in the dessert. We didn't talk throughout the entire movie, but he didn't seem to mind the awkward silence. Cas had left us once we started watching, to do what Dean was originally planning on doing, trying to find out what I am. Trying to find something that would get me on my feet again.

When the movie was over and the Winchester closed the laptop, he looked at me.

"Lilly." His eyes scanned my face, looking for the smallest response. He was acting strange and I didn't know what to expect. "I want you to know that you're going to be fine again. I don't know when, but you'll make it. We'll put you back together." That was the first time the Winchester and I had a private one-sided conversation without the angel reading my mind, or that of the apple-green eyed man sitting in front of me. He gave me a small smile before standing up and leaving the room to close the door behind him.  

That night I managed to fall asleep after having listed to my own heartbeat, after having watched my rib cage expand as I inhaled the musky air that filled the bunker for hours. They felt the urge to take care of me as if I was one of their cases. They had to fix me, they felt responsible although I was the one that had managed to screw up my own life. They were going to put me back together, he said. That could only mean one thing, he knew I was broken.

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝙻𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚛 𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 -

Groaning, I slowly started to wake up from a long deep sleep. My body hurt, my head was pounding, the muscles in my neck tense and soar. I was freezing cold and when a chilled gust of wind blew over me, I knew something was wrong.

I opened my eyes, staring straight up at the billions of stars that decorated the night sky. I was no longer in the bunker, instead, I laid in the middle of a hard asphalt road in a town I wasn't familiar with. The adrenaline that kicked in made me jump up, quickly looking around me to see if I was safe, like a prey animal in danger. I found myself standing in a long street, bright colored lights lit up the area like neon signs. The street, however, was empty, no people were walking on the sidewalk, no cars were driving on the road. I watched as a big traffic light switched to red in the distance.

It was quiet, really quiet. Almost too quiet to be a big town like this. Shaking my head briefly, I decided to do what was smartest, and that was to get off that road. As I started walking towards the sidewalk, my eyes looked at my legs. I didn't realize until now. I could move? I could walk? My feet stopped moving immediately after I realized, right next to one of the parked cars that stood on the road.

"Wait... What?" I whispered confused while looking at my own two hands, moving my fingers slowly, wearing a small smile on my face. My fingers brushed over my lips after having heard my own voice for the first time in weeks. I quickly moved to look at myself in the window of the parked car. I saw a reflection staring back at me that I barely recognized. After having lost so much weight I barely looked like myself. I softly squeezed in the little meat that still covered my cheekbones before laying a single finger on the car's window to make sure it was really me. Our fingers touched as conformation.

A scream coming from the distance caught my attention, that was the first sound I've heard since I woke up apart from my own whispering, and my feet started mindlessly running. Not knowing what I would encounter, my mind questioned why my first reaction was to go after it.

A single scream made it almost impossible for me to know where it exactly came from, and I came to a stop in the middle of a big intersection. Looking around in circles as I tried to find the source of the noise, who exactly needed help. Scanning the surroundings made me question where I was even more. I had never seen a town quite like this before. Streetlamps gave off a bright magenta color, while storefronts were lit with blue neon lamps. Brands and names flashing in different colors that were being reflected on the wet asphalt road.

I turned around once more, looking into the street on my right side, my breathing heavy and loud when I saw it. About six hundred feet away from me stood a person in the middle of the road. We had direct eye contact as I looked into the bright blue eyes that were focused on me. Billions of questions started rolling through my mind as I looked at the vague person standing in the distance. Was that the individual that had screamed? Maybe that being was the cause of someone else's screaming.

It disappeared, running behind the cars, in between some houses. And just like that my body started moving again. Running as fast as I could I tried to make my way over there. So fast that my feet had trouble following. The cold wind blowing through my hair as I went faster and faster. Eventually closing my eyes as I ran at my top speed. My soul got pulled back home, to the fields where I had ran through so many times. Tears started flowing down my cheeks as images of Thomas started to fill my mind again.

Out of breath and almost tripping as I came to a stop, I now stood where that person was standing not too long ago.

"Hello?" I screamed, looking into the alleyway the person had disappeared in just seconds ago. To my surprise, the alley was empty, apart from lightbulbs laying on the stairs that would connect this road with the one above. I took a deep shaky breath before I started walking again. I knew I was making the one big mistake every character makes in a horror movie, to afterward die in the most horrible way, but there was no stopping my feet. Something in me said to follow those lightbulbs that laid one by one, on every step of the stairs. Even though they weren't attached to an electricity source, they were lit up with cold blue-white light. With my eyes on the small lights at my feet, I made my way up the staircase.

There was something truly odd about this place, and when I finally arrived at the other side of the alleyway, I was once again greeted by the person I was seeking after. It was now clear to me that it was a man judging by his build, but his face was still not visible due to him standing inside the door opening of a house, on the other side of the road.

"Hello?" I once again asked for a reply but he didn't give it to me, instead, he smiled, his blue eyes glowing almost as bright as the storefronts. I swallowed slowly at his weird behavior, before he disappeared again, walking into the house and leaving me standing at the other side, clueless. "Do you want me to follow you? Do you need help?" I asked but obviously didn't get a response. After shaking that weird feeling he gave me, I walked towards the house, my hands as fists hung next to my thighs as I put my first step inside of the building. My eyes drifted to the floor, which there wasn't one. I was looking down another staircase, this one made out of white tiles, surrounded by walls made out of the same tilework as the floor. It looked like an entrance to an underground tram line. Bright green light bounced off the shiny tiles and once again, my body started to move. With quick tiny steps, I ran down the stairs, my hand lightly brushing over the cold metal handrail that was attached to the wall.

Once I made it down I was greeted by a long tunnel made out of the same tiles, lit up by the same vibrant green lights. I ran through it as quickly as possible and came to a stop at the empty platform. Soft music was playing through old static speakers, and again my eyes went looking for my next clue. It didn't take me long to find where he was standing this time. At the platform on the other side, at the foot end of yet another staircase. I lowered my eyes, staring at two tram tracks that blocked me from getting to the other side. I was chasing someone I didn't know in a place I was lost in, but I wasn't suicidal.

"How do I get to your side?" I yelled, looking up at him, still unable to make something of his facial features. My heart stopped beating when his voice filled my ears.

"It's just some rails, Lilly. Do something risky for once."

It was Thomas's voice, and it made me feel sick. Gasping for air I stared at him while I bit on my teeth as I did my best to not pass out. My body came in action again, slowly moving towards him while I dragged my feet over the white tiles. The entire time my feet were the ones I was chasing, but now my feet had to listen to my heart.

I jumped off the platform onto the rails, briefly looking to either side before carefully crossing both tracks, to crawl back up the other platform. My eyes shot up, ready to meet Thomas, but he was gone, and not a second later I was sprinting up those stairs. Looking up, expecting to see the exit, I saw nothing, nothing but darkness. The green lights slowly started to disappear the higher I climbed until I was running up the stairs in pure blackness. Right when I thought these stairs would never end, my lungs filled themselves with fresh air as I was greeted by the stars again. To my surprise, I came above ground not in the town, but in a forest. I made a quick hundred and eighty degrees turn to look for the town that should lay behind me, but no, there was nothing else to see but trees.

I once again made a classic horror movie mistake by yelling, hoping for that person to reply. There were no longer any weird lights to be seen. It was dark and the moist forest air gave me goosebumps. That and the fact that I was standing alone in the middle of a forest at night. I tried listening to my feet to see if they still knew where they wanted to go, but they didn't, they were listening to my heart that had also lost its way. Slowly my eyes drifted from the staircase that was surrounded by bushes and leaves, to the big empty in front of me. I almost missed those ridiculously vibrant bright lights looking at the few trees I could see. The rest of the forest was being gulped up by a dark fog that slowly crept over.

With all of my courage gathered together, I dared venture in the unknown. I didn't know what I was seeking after, apart from the man I had been chasing, that now had completely disappeared. Small branches gave away under the weight of my feet as I walked further away from the stairs that had let me here. However, I made sure I walked in a straight line, in case I had to get out of here again, it was as simple as turning around and walking back.  

Being alone in the forest with nothing to see or hear but the animals in hiding, my train of thoughts started rolling again. I was sure it was Thoms's voice that I had heard, but he didn't look like Thomas as far as I could tell. I still didn't see his face fully, but their builds didn't match. I was chasing something I didn't know, I had no clue of its intentions, I was unsure of my own. But what I did know was that I wanted to try to find out what it was I was seeking after, and if I didn't try, I would never know. I wanted to walk among the thing that sparked my curiosity.

I loved nature, walks in the forest. The silent whispers of the wise old trees healed my soul as I cleansed my mind. Nature is pure, yet bares millions of dark deep secrets that would only see sunlight again the day it decides to show itself.

I had been walking for what felt like hours, while small silent whispers rolled over my tongue, humming a song that was able to soothe me in the most terrifying moments. I was whispering the words of a song called 'Little Boy in the Grass by Aurora' and it was one of my favorites. It kept my mind of the eyes that were lurking from the shadows, the creatures that followed me into the night. They weren't really there, at least that's what I hoped. Darkness makes you hallucinate the scariest images.

My mind was drowning in questions I asked myself, but was unable to answer. How did I get here? Why do I continue walking? Why is it that I'm able to walk? With my hands hidden in the sleeves of my oversized hoody, my feet kept going at a steady pace, my eyes fixed on the darkness in front of me. I was brave and for once, I had my own back.

By now I had hoped that the sun would've come up, but it didn't. The darkness was still here and it was here to stay. I had accepted that I would never be able to find that damned staircase again, and I honestly didn't know if I even wanted to attempt to find it. I had made my peace with being in the forest, that was poorly lit by the many stars above, by the moon I was walking under as it smiled at me. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice at first, but then, out the thick darkness appeared a man. On his face a frightened expression. We made eye contact as my feet stopped moving and my heart stopped beating.

"Hello?" He spoke, unsure if I was real. "Yes?" I replied, worried, he didn't look good. "Are you also lost?" He asked, attempting to get closer to me but I kept my distance. "I don't know." I replied, I was unsure if I was lost or not. I didn't know where I was, but I didn't know where I wanted to go either. "What's your name?" I asked while kind of covering my body behind one of the many trees as a barrier between myself and the young man that was still coming closer. "I don't know." He replied. "What's yours?"

"Lilly. Are you okay?"

"Are you?" He asked, causing me to become speechless. "You're not okay." He took the words right out of my mouth. "He has been following you, in case you're wondering. You're his favorite now." My eyes instantly jumped behind me, looking for the thing that had been following me, just to find nothing, nothing but an empty forest. "Who has been following me?" I asked without laying my eyes on the young man. I was too terrified of the darkness behind me to turn my back on it again. "Him. But he doesn't like us talking. He doesn't like me anyway."

"Who is he?" I asked upset while turning around, I yelped when I saw the young man standing next to me, his eyes lifeless as he wore a small forced smile. "You've seen him, you know who he is, he managed to lure you into the forest."

"I didn't see his face, I don't know who he is?" I asked while slowly walking backward, trying to create distance between us.

"Of course you didn't see his face, he doesn't have one." The boy replied with a monotone voice, before his eyes jumped to something. I followed his gaze but saw nothing, nothing but black.

"He doesn't like us talking." He repeated himself. "Why not? Why doesn't he like us talking?" I asked out of breath, trying to find answers. "Because you're his favorite and I'm not. He doesn't want me talking to you..."  He sounded scared, but more so heartbroken. "Are you looking at him right now?" I asked while my eyes were still trying to figure out what he was looking at. "No, but he's looking at us." My entire body started to tingle at the thought of something lurking out of the shadows, and the way the boy was describing it. It was something big and bad.

"Maybe if..." He spoke softly as his gaze drifted from the darkness to me. "Maybe that way I could become his favorite again..." His thoughts were bleeding over into reality as he once again started to walk in my direction, his eyes fixated on me. My heart started to beat faster, his mind was in a million places while he tried to figure out his own thoughts. "I'll become his favorite again, if you're dead." He pulled a small knife out of his jeans pocket, pointing it at me, ready to start cutting and slicing. "If I kill you, he'll have to love me!" He screamed, lashing out. The sharp iron barely missed my skin as I jumped back, just cutting through the fabric of my hoody.

"Whoa -- wait! I don't wanna be his favorite!" I yelled in defense, walking backward as fast as I could. He had gone mad and tried to do everything in his power to cut through my flesh, waving wildly in the air with the knife as tears started to flow down his cheeks. "You don't have to kill me, I'll leave and never come back, I promise! I don't wanna be his favorite!" I continued to yell excuses, trying to make him stop, but it was useless. I tripped, landing with my back against a tree, he came closer, his eyes drowning in salty water that turned the whites of his eyes red. The knife pointed at me, shimmering in the moonlight. I tried to prepare myself to be stapped over and over again until I didn't breathe any longer. My hands digging in the moist forest ground as I bit on my teeth, my eyes closed. I was ready, ready to die.

"No!" He screamed, my eyes flew back open to see him standing in front of me, but his attention was focused on something else. "No, please!" He begged, walking backward. He was terrified, his knife fell from between his fingers as he made a run for it. As fast as he could he tried to get away from whatever was chasing him, and by the looks of it, it was pissed. "Please, stop!" His voice was to be heard from a distance, struggling. I tried to not pay attention to it as I crawled over to the knife that he had left behind. I was no longer safe, I had to be able to defend myself. When the sharp object was safely hidden I stood up, wondering where that boy ran off to, I made a quick three hundred-and-sixty-degree rotation to see if I could find him, and I did. In the distance a bright green light started to shine, revealing the young man that was looking around him like a deer in headlights.

"Please!" He begged before his feet left the ground, gasping for air he grabbed his throat tightly. Choking as he started to levitate higher in the sky, the surrounding debris of the forest following in his footsteps. Everything hovered around him while he was struggling for air, fighting to stay alive, trying to defeat whatever energy it was that was attacking him. Speechless I stood and watched what was happening in front of my eyes, having trouble with breathing myself.

Everything fell to the ground, the light went out like a broken lightbulb, and that was when I realized that I now was the one being chased, no longer the other way around. I didn't hesitate and once more, I ran, I ran as fast as I could, dodging the trees, jumping over sticks and fallen over trees. I was running from something big and powerful, but most terrifying, something I was unable to see.

The fear I went through that night at the auction house was something that would stick with me forever, and after that happened I thought I had grown stronger, tougher. But I hadn't, I was afraid and when panic takes over, you lose control over your body. You're capable of doing this you ever thought you would be, in my case; running for hours without looking back. My feet were bleeding, my lips cracked due to the cold air, and when I finally left the forest, I practically fell onto the street in the city I woke up in hours ago. Tripping over my own feet, gasping for air as sweat dripped down my face I ran towards the first house I came across, fists banging on the door.

"Hello!" I cried out hopelessly. "I need help, please!" My eyes shifted fast back and forth between the door and the forest that laid behind me. No one opened the door, so I moved onto the next. Again, no response. I decided to take even bigger measures, I ran around the corner into another street, standing in the middle of the road, screaming for help. And that's when I realized I had come full circle. I stood eye in eye with someone down the street, electric blue eyes just, staring at me. Turns out I wasn't done running yet.

I barged into an apartment building after having kicked in the door, running up the stairs as fast as I could, because I was certain that, that individual that I locked eyes with, was coming for me. I climbed level after level until I reached the last, running down the hall past the many empty apartments. I had cornered myself, hopelessly looking through the window at the end of the hall before turning around, to see that person turn the corner, walking towards me.

"Hello?" A familiar voice bounced off the walls, and without thinking twice I turned my back, opening the window before I jumped. My body hit something as hard as concrete, but when water started to fill my lungs and I gasped for air I knew I didn't fall onto a street. I had fallen in a big body of water. Trying to swim back up, seeking oxygen I finally started to lose my mind.

"What's going on?!" I screamed as soon as my head came above water. Now soaked and even more so freezing cold than before I made it back onto land. Once again I stood in the middle of the forest, billions of stars above my head. I yelled as loud as I could out of pure frustration, before punching into the bark of one of the many trees, making my knuckles bleed. After having physically worked out my anger I allowed myself to sit down and rest. I was sick of it, sick of running, sick of trying to hide for something I didn't know. I was so sick of being scared.

Taking a deep breath as I tried to clear my head and calm down, I remembered something. The supernatural being that saved my life, the one that can read my mind and hear my prayers. Just like that my eyes flew back open, staring at the night sky above me.

"I'm probably talking to myself here, but Castiel? Can you hear me?" My voice sounded calm and collected. I waited a couple of minutes for him to reply or for him to pop up and scare me like always, but he didn't. I was truly alone, or at least that's what I thought.

"Lilly, c'mon..." Thomas's voice filled my ears again, terrified I looked up to where the noise came from. The man I've had been chasing stood in front of me, but not close, on the lake I had fallen into. On top of the water. "Thom?" I asked genlty and carefully.

"Come here." He spoke, and my heart started to beat faster again. Slowly I stood up without taking my eyes off him, trying to figure out if it was really him. I lowered my eyes to see how his feet touched the water, a bright blue light circle underneath him that created tiny waves. "You're standing on water?" I asked confused as the tips of my feet stopped in front of the liquid.

"Lilly-Mae, come here."

"But, I can't?"

"Yes, you can." I took a deep breath and ventured out into the water, but to my surprise, the liquid was solid underneath my foot. The same bright blue light circle was created when I took my first step. Carefully, I took another step as I watched how another wave effect of light was created. I just accepted that I could walk on water and focused on the man in front of me again, walking towards him. The closer I got to him, the clearer he became.

The silhouette of his body already gave allot away, most importantly, he wasn't human. Big antlers stood on his head as his arms were long and strong. Only a couple of feet was left between us when his face was visible. The boy had warned me, he didn't have a face, at least not that I could see. An animal skull within the eye sockets nothing but darkness was looking at me.

"Are you scared?" He asked, for the first time using his real voice. A chill crawled its way up my spine at the deep vibration of his voice. "Should I be?" I asked, trying to sound brave and confident. He shook his head, causing the vegetation that crawled up his body into his antlers to sway back and forth. When I stood in front of him, my eyes looked up from the bright blue light coming from underneath our feet, to at his face. "Who are you?" I asked, trying to get some more information out of him. "I go by many names." He replied. "Are you God?" He laughed in a deep tone. "Depends on how you look at it."

"Where are we?" I asked looking at the stars that reflected in his black eyes. "Lunar Forest."

"Is this real?"

"Do you want it to be real?" He asked, grinning.  I could walk again, I wasn't a dead corpse laying in a strangers bed, but I don't know if I wanted to live in a place like this. Think I'd rather be dead in a somewhat more normal place.

"You know where this is heading, right Lilly?" I shook my head at his question, finally realizing how weird he was, wondering why I wasn't afraid of him. "How do you know my name?" I asked, trying to avoid eye contact. "Because I know you, now stop distracting me, and say you surrender yourself to me." He said demanding. I gasped at his tone, not sure what he meant. "Lilly, I brought you all this way, I protected you from James, I killed him, for you. Do not let me down." He growled as he came closer to me, forcing me into looking at his eyes. "What do you mean that I have to surrender to you?" I asked, trying to create more distance from him. "Say you will be mine, that you will stay with me, forever." He tilted his shoulders back, becoming even bigger and broader than he already was.

"I don't know you? You brought me into a weird-ass world, I've been terrified for days? Why would I want to stay here, with you out of all beings?" The words spilled over my lips as if they were poisonous, they enraged him. His build became even larger the more he stretched out, towering over me as he looked down onto me.

"Have it your way." He spat out, before disappearing into thin air. The water I was standing on had changed out for a black floor with only a thin layer of the water left, still those lively blue light circles to be seen under my feet. The trees and nature around me started to fall apart like a house of cards. And when it was just me, the water under my feet and the night sky filled with clouds, I lost it.

"No!" I screamed hopelessly as I looked around me, to find nothing else but endless darkness. "Come back!" I was standing in my biggest fear. Being trapped, alone. "Please!" I shrieked, fallen to the ground on my knees, a big circle of blue light as a result. The clouds over my head started to become thicker, darker, sparks of green light crawling through them like veins. Stinging rain started to fall down, burning my skin on contact. There was a thunderstorm forming in the sky, and I didn't stop calling out to him.

"Don't leave me alone!"

Thunder rumbling sounded, in the distance the static sound of lightning strikes that were coming closer and closer. Vague words were to be heard, they were being repeated over and over again, but I couldn't make anything off it.

"Mahday, eelohtah sahn. Serloh, eelohtah."

"I surrender, please! Come back!" A single green vibrant lightning strike struck down not too far in front of me, making me blind, causing my ears to bleed and ring.

"I surrender!" I cried out, looking up at the sky, my hands reaching out for it. Right before my body came in contact with one of the lightning bolts, flashes of green flowing through my veins were the last thing I saw, immense pain flowing along side it. I thought I was going to pass out, but --

I gasped for air, jumping up, looking straight into a pair of worried blue eyes. Quickly looking around to see where I was located at now, I found myself in the bunker, next to me on the bed sat Castiel, his hands covered in something dirty. At the desk in my room stood the two brothers, in Dean's hands a bowl containing bright green flames, next to him Sam who was holding an empty glass bottle.

"Lilly-Mae, calm down, you're okay, it was just a dream." Castiel spoke, and not much after I passed out.

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎: 𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗' 𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 -

A lock that opened, followed by the noise of a creaking door woke me from my sleep. I was in pain, but felt free. I stretched, cracking all the joints in my body and it was the best feeling I had felt in weeks. After debating it for a while, I decided to open my eyes and wake up fully from my long and peaceful sleep. Yawning, I looked in front of me and was greeted by Dean.

"Mornin' sunshine." He spoke while wearing a small smile on his face. "Didn't mean to wake you, just came to check up on you." My eyes scanned the room, looking for the angel so I could reply, but before I knew it my own thoughts spilled over into words.

"It's okay." I spoke softly, my own voice caught me off guard, scaring me. Both Dean and I were quiet for a while after that, processing the fact that I just said two words. "Holy crap..." I whispered, looking at my own body, at my toes that were wiggling from underneath the blanket, at my hands I was able to open and close. "Welcome back." The Winchester said while he took a seat next to me on the bed. "You fixed me?" I asked, slightly tripping over my own words as I went along. Feeling my tongue move again was odd, then again I've always found tongues to be weird. "We, fixed you." He corrected me, sounding rather proud. "How? What happened?"

"How about we talk about that in the library with the others?" I nodded, it was about time that I left this room. Don't get me wrong, I was happy that I was granted this room, but I was so sick of it. "Yes." I replied impatiently, while I threw the blankets off of me. "You want me to carry you over?" Dean asked as I struggled to hang my legs over the side of the bed, but I shook my head. "Just support me a bit." Dean did as I asked, he hooked his arm under my arms, around my back while I threw my right arm around his neck. "Ready?" I nodded, and we slowly stood up together. My legs shaking, even though Dean was carrying a lot of my weight as he was tilted sideways to support me, because of our height difference.

I put one foot in front of the other, slowly I was walking with Dean alongside me, to the door of my bedroom, ready to leave it. My heart was beating with excitement, my body slightly tingling because of the little stress I was feeling. I tried my best to hide the fact that this moment made me emotional. After weeks of dark thoughts, wishes about just wanting to die, and for this to be over. I was doing it, although the shaking of my legs was driving me insane. We were walking in the hallway, passing Dean's room where I briefly laid my eyes on. It was a mess, but I didn't expect differently.

When my left knee gave away under too much weight that I forced upon it, I snapped. "I already was a weak bitch, but now I'm like a freaking spaghetti noodle." I grumbled, making Dean laugh who was able to catch me right before I would've slipped away. "You'll get your little strength back in no time." He added jokingly, causing my angry eyes to meet his. "I wasn't that weak..." I mumbled, acting as if I was hurt by his comment, and we started to walk again. I couldn't believe I already went through these halls before, they felt so unfamiliar. I suppose I was half out due to the shock and bloodloss while Cas carried me down these halls to get me to my bedroom. Part of me wondered what this place was. I knew it was some type of headquarters of a cult of some sort, but the boys didn't explain it fully. Dean who spoke pulled me out of my thoughts. "You know I don't tend to be the soft type, but you've no clue how happy I am to finally hear your voice." He awkwardly staired in front of him as he tried not to make eye contact, in such a touchy-feely moment. "That makes the two of us." I replied, right before we stopped at some steps, in front of us a big room. My voice that bounced off the walls, echoing through the building caught Sam's and Castiel's attention.

"Lilly?" Sam sounded before he ran into the room, in the middle stood a table, at the side a staircase that led upstairs. With a bit of help from Dean, I was able to walk those few steps before meeting the youngest brother. I smiled, I didn't know what else to do, and when the angel entered the room, a relieved expression on his face, my gaze drifted off towards him.

"Would you look at her, eh? Walking and talking." Dean said with a big proud smile painted on his face. "Yeah, kinda." I replied, referring to that the apple-green eyed man was carrying eighty percent of my weight. My voice that filled the room again made everyone go quiet for a second.

"What? My voice isn't what you imagined it to be?" I asked with a laugh, I didn't really expect anyone to answer that question, but the innocent angel did. "Not quite, you sound very different in your thoughts." I didn't even know that was possible. When my legs gave away again and Dean was fast enough to catch me, everyone came in action to get me a chair. Dean carried me bridal style to a chair that Castiel had pulled back for me. Sitting at the table that stood in the middle of the room, on top a world map that was lit up from underneath, the others joined me.

My finger traced the lines on the map as I waited for someone to say something. I understood that it was a strange sight for them to see me sitting up, not looking dead. "Lilly-Mae?" Castiel asked, and my eyes met his. "Are you okay?" He asked, and I nodded. "Yeah, think so... my tongue feels weird though." I said, before sticking it out, trying to look at it, awkwardly moving it around as I tried to get used to the feeling. Sam who was sitting across from me looked at me with a smile. My bare toes were tiptoeing on the cold tiles while my finger went back to tracing the map. I allowed the boys to get used to the sight of me, while I tried to get used to being able to move and feel again. "Lilly asked me how we pulled it off." Dean broke the silence, reminding me of the question I had asked him before.

"We found a spell that should heal a vessel, technically a body is a vessel, so we decided to give it a try." Answered Sam. "What's a vessel?" I asked curiously. "A human body possessed by an angel or a demon." Castiel informed me, and I locked eyes again with him. "So that means that —?" I asked, pointing up and down his body. "Yes, this isn't my true form. This body belonged to Jimmy Novak, a good faithful man."

"Belonged?"

"He sadly passed away." Cas had been Cas for me for weeks now, but now knowing his body isn't his, it made me feel rather uneasy. "So, you could possess my body?" I asked, but he shook his head. "Not just like that, you would have to give me permission first. Demons, on the other hand, can take what they want." Ugh, demons, nasty ass beings. I had so many questions about the supernatural, but Sam asked me something first. "Lilly, do you remember what happened four days ago?" I shook my head slightly, seeking eye contact from Castiel again that would calm me down. "Four days?" I asked. "Yeah, you were out for four days kiddo." Dean replied. I had slept for four entire days? I suppose my body had to recover from the spell they performed on me. Vague flashbacks of green flames and Castiel's hands covered in something dirty filled my head.

"So, that spell is why I'm back alive?" Castiel nodded. They did it. When they dragged me out of that auction house that one day, I expected to die laying in the car, but didn't. Day by day I thought, this is going to be my last one. But they actually did it. They put me back together. "Thank you..." I spoke softly, hoping not to choke on the emotions that were trying to flow out. "It's the least we could do." Sam said with a small smile. I didn't know what he meant. They didn't know me, didn't owe me anything. Why did they go through so much trouble to fix me? I had hoped that Cas would give me an answer, but he didn't. Was he still listening to my thoughts? Was my mind my own again? I looked at him, expecting him to tilt his head as my thoughts confused him, but he didn't. I felt -- lonely. I had gotten used to that angel on my shoulder, helping me out with the smallest struggle going through my mind. I rubbed my forehead at the too many things that were going through me.

"Are you okay?" Cas asked who saw me struggle. "Yea, it's just a bit much..." I sighed. All my senses were being stimulated again, and it was overwhelming. I once was in love with being able to feel, all the textures, temperatures, but it now was making me feel so damn uneasy. I expected every feeling going through my nerves to turn out to be painful.

"You wanna go rest some more sweetheart?" Dean asked, also sounding rather worried, but I shook my head. I had slept for way too long, I wanted to explore my temporary home, I wanted to live.

"Then what do you wanna do? It's about 7 PM right now, Dean and I were planning on heading out to go grab some dinner." My stomach was already growling at the idea of solid food, and I wanted to ask if I could join, but once again was Dean faster than I was. "You hungry?" He asked, looking up from having looked at my stomach, he must have heard it begging for food. "Yeah, I could use some food." I replied rather shy, not wanting to come across greedy. "What you feel like? We weren't sure what we wanted yet, but I was thinking like a cheeseburger." The oldest Winchester spoke who was sitting next to me, and my gaze shorty drifted off to Sam who shook his head. "Dean, I don't think it's a good idea to feed her anything that heavy, or unhealthy right now."

"Yeah, I haven't eaten anything but baby food for weeks, I don't think my stomach could handle -- Who am I kidding, of course, I want a freakin' cheeseburger?" I said with a smile, already drooling at the thought of melted cheese and pickles. "See?" Dean said, throwing his hands in the air to make his point come across even more. Sam rolled his eyes, letting a deep sigh of disappointment go. "We'll be back in no time, said Dean who impatiently stood up. They were going to bring take out, but I wanted to go with. I wanted to feel the fresh air brush over my skin, I wanted the smell of polluted air to fill my lungs.

"Can I tag along?" I asked, hoping I would get a positive response, but I received nothing but some looks. It was as if the boys were having a conversation in a wordless language I didn't understand. After they shared some looks, Dean nodded. "Sure kiddo, but um, maybe take a shower first?" Suddle as always, Dean.

I couldn't do anything but agree, I smelled like roadkill, I honestly was roadkill for weeks, laying in that bed for dead. Showering, however, wasn't going to be the easiest task considering I was unable to stand on my own.

"Kay, who's gonna shower with me?" I asked trying to hold back a smile as I scared the crap out of the boys. Silence followed my question, along with broken eye contact and uneasy movements. "I'm kidding guys, but, I do need some type of help cause my muscles are as strong of those of a newborn." They sighed with relief, immediately looking for a solution.

"We could put a chair under the shower?" Sam suggested, it was a smart idea and I agreed. Before I realized it, Dean was carrying me bridal style again to bring me to what I assumed was the bathroom. The angel tagged along, bringing a metal chair, rather than a wooden one so it wouldn't be damaged by the water. We didn't end up in the bathroom however, Dean took me to his room, to put me down on my bed. "Imma fetch you some fresh clothes." He explained with a smile, the angel awkwardly waiting outside with the chair in his arms.

"That's sweet of you, Dean. But I don't know if you've realized, I'm small as hell compared to you, I don't think your clothes will fit in the slightest?" He surprised me when he turned around, holding up his sweatpants, boxers, socks, and then a black tanktop that would never fit him. I gave him a confused look, wondering from where and how he got that.

"Don't question it." He said, handing me the clothes before picking me up again, ready to go to the bathroom this time. Him telling me not to question it, only made me question it even more, although I already had a pretty good idea of how he managed to collect a piece of female clothing. I chuckled a bit at the thought of that poor girl that had forgotten her shirt before she left. "What?" He asked, looking down at me.

"Just wondering how one manages to forget her shirt before leaving. I mean, don't get me wrong, I get it, sometimes you've to leave in a hurry, especially if there's a younger brother involved that could catch you, but your shirt? C'mon..." A cheeky smirk appeared on his lips, breaking the brief eye contact we had, as if he was thinking back to the memory.

"Well, she left with one of my shirts on, one of my favorites actually, it was pretty stupid." He admitted, the angel that was still walking behind us also following the conversation as we turned to enter the bathroom. It wasn't what I expected, the room looked like a shower room from a highschool. Stalls, on either side tiled walls, a thin curtain to give you some more privacy. Castiel put my chair down in the second stall right next to the entrance, and Dean put me down on it. Awkwardly I was looking at the two men who were looking at me proudly, as if they just did a good deed by putting me in a shower stall, on a cold, small, and uncomfortable chair. Dean put my clothes down on a sink on the other side of the room, ready to leave.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked cluelessly. "Shower?" Dean replied, and I knew all too damn well that I had to shower, the question was --

"How?" I asked, wiggling my limbs around like overcooked noodles. "Yes Dean, I don't think it's responsible to leave her alone, she could slip and hurt herself." The angel spoke. "Well, good luck with that, bud." Dean said while padding Cas on the shoulder before leaving the room, leaving us both rather confused behind. Castiel's eyes followed Dean until he left the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Great, now my fate was left in the hands of a clueless angel.

"Um..." I spoke, staring at the ground, trying to find a way that this could work out without it becoming too damn awkward.

"Do you want me to shower with you?" He suddenly asked, making my eyes fly up at him.

"No! No..." I said, holding my hands up begging him to stop with whatever he was doing. I realized it came over rather rude as the angel tilted his head slightly to the left. "No, thanks, Cas. I think I'll manage. Maybe just help me a bit with closing the curtain and handing me the towel and my clothes as I go?" I suggested, and he nodded, coming closer to shut the thin curtain. I took a deep breath as I prepared myself to get undressed, hoping that that thin ass piece of fabric was thick enough not to reveal anything. Lucky for me, I was still wearing my pj's I was wearing the day it all happened, still on my bare feet. With a bit of effort, it was relatively easy to pull my shirt over my head, throwing it over the iron bar that held up the curtain. I could hear Castiel react to what I just did, picking up the item. "Do you want me to throw your old clothes away?" He asked, and I gladly gave him permission to get rid of those damned pieces of fabric.

Now, my pants. Struggling to lift up my own weight, hoping not to tilt over the chair, I wiggled them off. Not much later and after having caught my breath for a second, they also landed on the other side of the curtain. The same thing went for my underwear. I could hear Cas throw everything away as the sound of plastic wrinkling filled my ears. I never thought taking off clothing could be that exhausting. I stayed quiet, trying to get my heartbeat to slow down before I would turn on the shower. My silence concerned the angel.

"Lilly-Mae, everything okay?" He asked. "Yea, I'm fine... This just sucks ass." I sighed, biting my teeth while trying to press down my frustrations. After clearing my head I turned the knob, and as per usual when you shower in an unfamiliar shower, the water comes out ice cold. I yelped, trying as fast as I could to turn it the other way. "Fu--"

"Lilly?" Castiel asked worriedly. "It's cold! I'm fine, water is just cold!" I screamed while struggling to turn the wet knob in the right direction. When warm water finally flowed over my body, I relaxed, sitting back waiting for it to become hotter. With my eyes closed, I focused on every droplet rolling down my figure. They dragged so much of my fears, frustrations, and other emotions with them down the drain. It didn't take long for the room to fill itself with steam as the temperature of the water was almost too hot to bear.

The angel at the other side of the shower curtain had gone quiet, patiently waiting for me to finish enjoying the burning hot water that was washing all the dirt and worries away. My arms got tired quickly as I was washing my hair, massaging my own skull as I went. I didn't want this to end, ever. Having been dead for weeks made you appreciate a lot of things way more than before, this being one of them.

"I have showered once." Castiel's voice bounced off the walls, lightly startling me, I almost forgot he was standing in the same room as I was. "I found it to be rather odd, and overwhelming." He explained. "You've only washed yourself once? How long have you been possessing Jimmy?" I asked, finishing up my shower that already had taken so long the angel was losing his patience. "Two years." He replied. "Cas! You need to shower and take care of him? How on earth do you not smell like ass?" I asked. I thought I had offended him because he didn't immediately reply like usual. "I don't need showers, I can take care of my vessel by using my grace."

"Then why did you shower once?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to know what it felt like. I didn't like it."

"Why not? It's the best feeling in the world?"

"Exactly." He replied rather quiet as I turned the water off, waiting for Cas to throw a towel over the iron bar. "What do you mean?" I wondered. "I'm not allowed to feel." He replied as he poked the towel through the curtain with his arm, almost hitting me. It scared me, and I bit my lip trying not to yelp again, biting just a bit too hard. Blood taste filled my mouth as I licked at the wound. "You're not allowed to feel?" I asked slowly as I accepted the towel. "No." He replied simply, no other explanation attached. I decided to drop the conversation knowing it must be a weird angel thing, as I did my best to dry myself off. Not much after, the angel handed me Dean's dark red boxers along with a pair of black socks. They were obviously too big for me, but comfy so I couldn't complain. Putting the underwear on went relatively smooth, as if my little strength like Dean said, was slowly returning. The angel handed me the rest of the clothing without sharing another word. The silence made my mind drift off to the boy's reactions from earlier. They were genuinely happy to see me up and walking. My words made then speechless. It made me think about how Castiel mentioned that I sound different than in my thoughts.

"Hey, Cas?"

"Are you ready?" He asked, still patiently standing outside of the shower stall I was in. "Yeah, but I have got a question." He opened the curtain, smiling down at the sight of me, clean and with my long wet hair still awkwardly sitting on my metal chair. "What's your question?" I cleared my throat before talking. "What did you mean by that my thoughts sound different from my actual voice?" His eyes went to the ground, looking for a good way to reply. When he made up his mind, he made eye contact. "Your thoughts are delicate, compared to the words you speak."

"Delicate, as in weak?" I asked with a shaky voice, he broke eye contact, giving me a single nod as a response. I smiled the emotions away, asking him to bring me back to the Crow's Nest where the boys were waiting, but not by carrying me, by supporting me. I wanted to prove that I wasn't as weak as he thought. With only one arm hooked into his, my body filled with the power to prove myself, we walked back to the Crow's Nest.

"Much better, isn't it?" Dean asked with a smile as he saw me enter the room, alongside me the angel. "Yeah, just hope I never have to shower sitting on a chair ever again."

"Wait 'till you're eighty." Sam said with a laugh as he stood up, ready to leave to grab dinner. I rolled my eyes, leaning on the handrail of the stairs that led to the entrance to the bunker, letting go of Castiel's arm. Even though I had tied the strings of Dean's sweatpants as tight as I could, they were still attempting to fall off, as if they wanted me to flash everyone. The shirt he had given, however, did fit me, and I decided at that very moment that I had claimed that shirt to be my own.

"Ready for some cheesy goodness?" Dean asked smiling, sounding more excited than I was.

"Heck to the yes."

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚗: 𝚃𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚔𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚔𝚎 -

With some help from Sam, I managed to make it to the garage, where Dean's beloved car was parked alongside other old vehicles. I was sitting in the back, right behind the oldest brother, Castiel who wanted to tag along sitting next to me. I didn't remember a whole lot from that one night, but the specific scent of the Impala was something that I recalled vividly. The soft leather felt so much more comfortable than the first time I had touched it.

We were heading to Jiffy Burger, Dean's favorite in Lebanon. It wasn't that far of a drive, about ten minutes away from the bunker. I knew Castiel had realized that his words had caused pain, even if he didn't fully intend them to be hurtful. I could tell because he was quiet the entire ride long, staring out of the window as the brothers shared words.

"What do you guys want?" Dean asked as he parked the car, offering to go and get the food himself. I honestly didn't feel like going back to the bunker, back underground, boxed in between walls. I wanted to stare at the clouds just a little longer. "How about we go inside and eat there? No mess to clean up after, right?" I asked, hoping they would allow me to stay above ground. "You're not wearing shoes, Lilly?" Sam said, pointing over the front seat at the socks from Dean I was wearing. "And?" I asked, not bothered by the fact that I had to walk with them through the mud. "I've worn way weirder crap than this, besides, there are a lot of people that go barefoot through life. I've heard it's good for your back." I gave them a rather weird explanation, trying to convince them anyway. Dean shrugged, not really caring either, just wanting to eat already. "Okay fine, but if they think we've kidnapped you, you're gonna explain everything." Sam sighed before opening his door, ready to head into the diner. Dean followed in his footsteps, leaving the angel and me on the backseat.

The stubbornness was still flowing through me. Wanting to prove myself to him, I opened the door, ready to leave, but he stopped me. "Lilly." He sighed, holding me at my wrist, looking me straight in the eyes. "I know what you're doing." I awkwardly lowered my eyes, looking at how his hand wrapped itself with ease around my weak wrist.

"You only have to prove yourself to yourself, not to me, not to anyone else." He spoke, biting on his teeth at the end of his sentence. He studied my reaction, but there was not much to detect. He might not hack into my mind any longer, but he was still capable of reading me like a book.

"I didn't mean to hurt you by saying you sound weaker in your head than in real life. If you could hear my thoughts, or those of the brothers, you'd think we're pathetic." He let go, and I pulled my arm back slowly, my mind hazy at the words he had spoken.

How was I supposed to prove myself, to myself, when the opinion of others is all that matters to me? Castiel thought I sounded weak deep down, and it had burned me to the ground. Once I would prove myself to him, I could start believing it for myself.

"Yeah, you're right." I smiled, not looking him in the eyes. He probably knew how I really felt, but I didn't care. I was going to prove myself anyways. I opened the door, building up the courage and strength to leave the car when wing fluttering sounded. Cas stood next to me, opening the door for me fully. Damned angels and their ability to teleport around like that. "Let me help you." He said smiling, as he held his hand out towards me, asking me to accept it by laying mine in his. Biting on my teeth I did as he asked, slowly standing up, holding on to nothing else but him.

"Sam was right, you know? People are gonna find this suspicious. I'm not wearing shoes, I look like I've been starved for weeks and I walk like I got hit by a car."

"Well let those people think as they please, you know your truth." My truth wouldn't stop them from calling the cops behind our asses though. But I was starving, and I honestly was looking forward to a bit of action and an adventure.

With my arm hooked in that of the angel, we walked into the diner, the smell of delicious food filling my lungs. We joined the boys who were sitting in the left-back corner of the place, right next to a window. Castiel helped me take a seat next to Dean before he went to sit across from me next to Sam.

My eyes were glued to the sun on the other side of the glass, that was setting. I impatiently licked over the small wound on my lip that by now was swollen, as I waited for the stars in the sky to appear. The warm shades of orange took my attention off of everything else, conversations went blurry in the background as flashes of Thomas and me filled my head. The barn, the portal. The colors made me feel sick.

"Lilly--" Dean gave me a push that shook me awake from my thoughts. I cluelessly looked up at him, right in his worried green eyes. "What?" I asked softly. He nodded in a direction that I followed. A waiter stood next to me, his eyes scanning me up and down in a judgemental manner as he was clicking his pen impatiently. He was about my age, a tall skinny boy with dark blond hair, his gray eyes hidden behind glasses.

"Drinks?" He asked slowly, as if he had to explain it to a five-year-old. The rest of the table had already ordered, but when I was taking too long for his liking, he treated me like a toddler. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"Oh, yeah, a coffee, please."

"How would you like it?" He asked.

"Just like how I like myself, dark, bitter, and too hot for you." I smiled sarcastically, that'll teach him talking to me like that. My words made him shrink to the size of a pea. After that, he left our table without another word spoken.

My eyes turned to the boys sitting next to me, surprised looks on their faces. "What?" I asked rather annoyed. "Nothing, he deserved that." Dean said, giving me a soft pad on the shoulder. Trying to cool down a bit more, I put my focus on the menu he had laid before me on the table. I already had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to order, but decided to give it a look anyway. They had all sorts of burgers, basket dinners, sandwiches and a sea of sides to choose from. At the end I settled for a cheeseburger with some fries, and a strawberry milkshake.

"So," I spoke as I laid the menu back down. "what now?" I asked with a smile, wondering what we would discuss over the burgers and fries. "I'm awake, I can talk, so Castiel won't be able to censor my answers to his liking any longer." My eyes shifted from Sam to the angel, amused at the fact that he felt attacked by my words. I was sure the boys had questions, millions of them, and I was ready to take them on. "Why don't we turn the tables? I'm sure you're more confused than we are. We've dealt with weird situations in the past, but this must be something new for you." Sam spoke softly as his hazel eyes looked at me, curious about what I would throw at them. "I'd love to ask questions but I don't think we're in the right environment to discuss such things? Unless everyone here is aware that monsters are real?" Dean looked at me with his angry eyes, I was speaking too loud for his liking.

"No, most people are unaware of the supernatural," Castiel informed me. "and we should keep it that way to prevent chaos from happening."

"What do you think of it so far? Your experiences on earth two-point-o?" Dean asked who sat with his arms crossed, leaning on the table as he looked at me. "What can I say? I'm not sure what my favorite moment was so far, me being dead for three weeks or seeing my best friend being torn apart in front of my eyes." I answered rather butthurt. The best thing that had happened to me thus far was the fact that I could walk again. Dean bit his teeth at my reply, turning his gaze away from me. They probably wished Cas was still there to censor me, but he wasn't, it was the real me they were getting to know now.

"Anyways, what type of cult are you part of anyways?" I asked, looking at the young man behind the counter that was ready to bring us the drinks we ordered earlier. "It's not really a cult, it's more like an order?  It's called the Men of Letters. Our grandfather was part of it, which means we are kinda part of it? The bunker had been abandoned for years, so we made it our home. It was that or old crappy motels."

"The Men of Letters?" I asked, but got interrupted by the server. He put our drinks down, spilling my coffee on the table. My eyes met his, giving him an annoyed look as I sighed.

"Are you ready to order?" He asked, taking out his little notebook again, clicking his pen vigorously. "Yeah, four cheeseburgers, please." I spoke, but Sam quickly changed that order. "Make that three, and a chicken salad, please."

"Make that two, and a chicken salad." Castiel corrected. My eyes looked confused between the two of them. Sam ordered a freaking salad, and Cas wasn't even going to eat?

"Okay, two cheeseburgers, and a chicken salad. Anything else?" The boy exhaled his sentence as his hand lazily wrote down the order. I made eye-contact with Dean, looking for confirmation without words that he was down for fries or not. He nodded and I turned back to the server. "Two fries, and a strawberry milkshake." I added, he wrote down what I said. "Any allergies?" He asked just to make sure he wouldn't serve us anything that would literally kill us. "Yes, actually," I spoke, meeting the boy's eyes, looking at me as he waited for my reply. "small portions." I spoke with a grin, making the server even more annoyed. He rolled his eyes before he left the table. I was probably gonna receive a burger where he had spit in, but it was worth it. I turned back to the table, still chuckling at my own joke.

"Small portions?" Dean asked with a smile, and I nodded. "To be honest, I probably should've told him that I'm lactose intolerant, but oh well."

"You literally ordered a milkshake?" Sam asked confused. "Yeah, and?" I asked with a cheeky smirk. "Also, what the Hell?" I spoke as my eyes met Castiel's. "You didn't order anything? Way to ruin the mood." He tilted his head to the left, narrowing his eyes a little. "I don't need food, I'm an angel." He replied. Why were angels so weird? "I don't need more than a thousand calories in one meal either, but I'm gonna eat it anyway?"  My focus went to my coffee after that, trying to clean up the mess the server had caused. He had spilled so much that my cup was almost half empty, I even had to steal Dean's napkin to wipe it all up. It didn't take long before I had drunk all of the caffeinated goodness.

"So Cas," I said as I put my empty cup down, looking into his rather distracted blue eyes. "As an angel of the Lord, what are you capable of doing?" I wanted to get to know the creature sitting across from me a bit better. I imagined an angel to be rather powerful, maybe even one of the most mighty beings out there. "I can fly, although you perceive it as teleporting. I can heal other beings, but can also destroy them with relative ease. We refer to it as smiting. We can read minds, enter dreams, we can not be killed by being shot or stabbed, only by an angel blade or powerful magic. There is a very long list of things we are capable of doing." They were basically indestructible. They didn't need food, didn't need sleep, they didn't even have to shower. His words sparked curiosity inside me, admiring him for a bit too long after he was done talking. "If you can fly, that means you have wings?" I asked, looking over his shoulder just to see nothing but the back of the other person sitting in the booth behind ours. "Yes I do, but you are incapable of seeing them. Our true form can be overwhelming." He explained. "Overwhelming?"

"It will burn your eyes out of their sockets." I went quiet after he spoke those words. That sounded anything but pleasant. Although the thought of him having wings made me want to know more.

"He also has a very pretty harp." Dean added as my eyes jumped to him after having heard his comment. "No, I don't have a harp." Castiel spoke in a deep monotone voice, he was annoyed at the Winchesters humor, but it did make me laugh.

We discussed the angel's abilities and weaknesses for a bit longer, until our food arrived. As I had expected, mine looked like total shite. However, I didn't mind, I deserved that. The server plonked my plate in front of my nose, followed by my milkshake, once again spilling it on the table. I looked him dead in the eyes, lowkey getting sick of his behavior. I clicked my tongue before I spoke. "Imma need some more napkins." A sarcastic smile on my face that he gladly returned. "We're out." My eyes drifted off to the counter behind him, looking right at a box of white napkins.  "Go fu--"

"Lilly." Castiel interrupted me, cutting my words off while giving me a disapproving look. I bit my tongue, looking out the window at the stars to not let the insults flow out like water. The server left the table, leaving us alone to eat as I went to inspect my burger, opening it up just to make sure there wasn't anything too disgusting hidden in between the layers. Afterward, I looked at my milkshake, letting a deep sigh go at the sight of all the pink on the table.

"I will go get some napkins." Castiel said as he stood up, walking to the counter. The brothers next to me were already digging in their food. Dean filling his mouth faster than he could swallow down. "You know your food won't like, fly away, or anything, right?" I asked with a laugh, also rather feeling sick at the sight of him chugging it down like a newborn penguin.

The angel returned, wiping the mess away for me. I thanked him as I also started to eat. I honestly was scared to dig in. What if I didn't remember how to chew and swallow? It wouldn't surprise me if my cause of death after all of this, was choking on a single fry. I stared at the food a bit longer before picking up a fry, going to dip it in my milkshake when Dean grabbed me by my wrist. "No way." He said with his mouth filled with cheeseburger. "Don't tell me you're one of those fry dippers?"

"Yes I am, and I'm also one of those pineapple on pizza people, bite me." I replied, tugging my arm lose to continue dipping my fry before sticking it in my mouth, exaggerated chewing on it in Dean's direction. He gagged, turning away, causing me to burst out in laughter. "C'mon, don't be so dramatic. It's good!" Sam who put down his fork reached to grab a fry from Dean's plate, almost starting a war. He smacked the hand of his younger brother away, his green eyes angry and threatening. "Jeez, sorry..." Sam said with a chuckle, before reaching into my plate, which was also a rather bold move. I watched as he grabbed a fry, dipping it in my milkshake to try it out for himself. He swallowed it down, pursing his lips making an expression that said 'not bad'.

"Ha! See?" I asked, giving Dean a slap on the shoulder. "That's the opinion of someone that enjoys eating salad, it doesn't count." He replied in defense, and just like that he had declared war. I was going to prove that fries and milkshakes go amazing together. I grabbed another fry, dipping it, then sticking it out the angel, offering it to him. He narrowed his eyes, wondering what I asked of him.

"Try it." I said while sticking it out even further. He accepted the fry but was still confused. "I don't need food?" He repeated himself. "I know, but try to see if it tastes good or not?" I asked.

"Lilly you don't get it I--"

"Please, Cas?" I begged, using my puppy eyes. He briefly looked at Dean who was smiling at the angel in an amused fashion. With hesitation, he stuck the fry in his mouth, biting on it slowly. His face made all sorts of movements and expressions that caused me to chuckle, but I tried my best to hold it back. Finally, he swallowed, quickly scanning the table with his eyes as he tried to place what he had just tasted. "And?" I asked impatiently. "Lilly, I tried to tell you..." He spoke while reaching out for a napkin. "I just taste molecules." He explained. I had forced him into tasting something unpleasant, and I felt bad, but the sight of him vigorously rubbing his tongue clean with the napkin caused me to laugh out loud anyway.

The rest of the evening was filled with silent moments while we were eating, the angel under us looking at us as a proud father. Apart from that, it was filled with me staring out the window, talking with the boys as we got to know each other a bit better. Laughing, making jokes, but also talking about more serious topics.

What I had learned from that dinner experience was that Dean and I are a lot alike, which was dangerous. I was certain of it that we would get into fiery arguments and fights along the way. He was the overly protective, I know I'm crossing the line but I do it with good intentions type of guy. A hard shell with a soft and squishy heart on the inside.

Sam was the protective type, but understanding. He tried to see everything from other's perspectives. He wore his heart on his sleeve, but carried allot of dark crap behind that pure and happy smile. I felt like we would get along better.

Castiel was still very confusing to me. He came across as also being very protective, but the unknowing kind of angel. He didn't fully understand humanity, emotions, behaviors. I felt like I could tell him anything, and he would try to help, but wouldn't know-how. He was very different from how I was, which was good. I could already see him keeping me from getting in trouble. He would be the one to be brutally honest with me if I wanted to know the truth that wasn't sugar-coated.

I had drunk the last of my milkshake, after having emptied my plate. Leaning back when I was satisfied with my meal. The boys didn't think I would be able to finish it, and that's where they made a mistake. Never challenge me. I let go of a quiet burp in my hand, as I looked at the sweatpants that were no longer way too big. I had eaten too much, but damn it tasted so good.

"I tip my hat to you, my lady." Dean said with a smile after he had wiped his mouth clean. He also had finished his plate, which wasn't a surprise. He threw some cash on the table, making sure to give the server almost nothing for a tip. I felt bad, I mean he was mean to me, but I threw some more wood on the fire by reacting the way that I did. Castiel stood up, stopping next to me to support me again, I hooked my arm in his and also stood on my feet. The meal I had eaten had restored some of my energy and walking went way smoother already. With the brothers behind us, we were walking to the door to leave the diner. The angel opened the door, the cold night wind hitting my skin. My eyes focused on the stars that stood high in the sky, making my stomach turn at the idea that we were going back to the bunker, back underground.

Goosebumps covered every inch of my body as my feet walked on the cold muddy ground. I hopped in the car after Castiel had opened the door for me, getting comfy on the soft leather of the backseat. It didn't take long before we were back on the road, all of us sitting in the exact same spot as before. My eyes were glued to the outside world, softly singing along with the music that was coming out of the radio.

"And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again..."

It was The Chain by Fleetwood Mac, one of my favorite songs. Dean turned the volume louder, apparently, he liked it as well, which I didn't complain about, but Sam did. Dean took a sharp right, bringing the full moon into my sight. I could see the big white circle reflecting in my own eyes in the window of the car, it caused me to feel weird. As if the light was sucking me towards it, I couldn't shake the feeling that flowed through me. Something big and powerful was looking down onto me and it made me feel nauseous. It followed the car, it followed me, didn't matter what way Dean turned the moon was standing right in front of me, intimidating and strong.

I swallowed, trying to keep the food down that I had eaten earlier, trying to let Castiel know I wasn't okay, but couldn't. The fear that had hit me on the back of the head left me powerless behind. When my field of vision was filled with nothing else but the bright white light, I snapped.

"Stop the car..." I spoke with a shaky voice, covering my mouth with my hand. "What?" Dean asked confused. "Stop the car!" I screamed, causing the Winchester to yank at the wheel, pressing on the brake as hard as he could. The car hadn't come to a complete stop yet when the door flew open as I stumbled out, falling onto my knees as I tried as fast as I could to crawl into the nearby forest. The fear had caused me to become so nauseous that my food was already back in my mouth. I threw up, about thirty feet away from the car. Sitting on hands and knees as the taste of gastric acid filled my mouth.

"Lilly?" Dean yelled at me worriedly. "I'm okay!" I replied in between some heavy breathes. "I think I ate too much."

"You gonna be okay, kiddo?"

"Yeah, just, go back to the car, I rather not have you listen to me throwing up." He did as I asked, leaving me by myself. Once all the food had come out, and I was able to breathe normally again, I wiped my mouth at a napkin I had taken with from the diner. My head was spinning, and the pressure my body was under hadn't faded. The moon stood high above me, looking down at me. The light that hit my skin felt like it took the air out of my lungs, its grip tightly wrapped around my neck. With shaky legs, I was able to slowly stand up, looking at the forest that laid in front of me.

"Lilly-Mae Mooney." An unfamiliar female voice sounded. My eyes scanned the trees, trying to find where my name came from. Out of the darkness appeared five people, all wearing gray business suits, no expressions on their faces. I knew I was in trouble when sharp blades fell from out their sleeves.

"We finally found you."

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗: 𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚜 -

Before I knew it, I was pinned against a tree, gasping for air as blood dripped out of my nose, my feet inches off the ground. I couldn't move, couldn't defend myself, or even call for help.

"Let her go, brothers." Castiel's threatening voice filled my ears as my eyes shifted towards him, he had appeared a few feet in front of me, also revealing one of those blades that dropped from his sleeve. He spoke of his brothers, did that mean that they were angels? Why would they want to harm me?

"Orders from above, Castiel." The woman spoke in an intimidating tone, that had me pinned as she held her hand out in my direction. "What do you want with her?" He asked as he came closer, putting himself between the angels and myself, physically protecting me with his body. Sam and Dean had arrived, pointing their guns at the creatures, which wouldn't help. I had remembered what Cas had taught me earlier, angels are immune to bullets.

Still unable to breathe, I felt everything starting to spin as my vision went blurry and ringing filled my ears. I was about to pass out when the brothers decided to get involved.

"Put her down!" Dean growled, as he came to a stop next to Castiel. The angel's gaze shifted to the oldest brother, letting him know that his anger would only make things worse.

"We can talk about this, come to an agreement." Cas tried to help, calm them down, but it didn't work. They were determined to fulfill what they were told.

"We are just following orders, Castiel. Unlike you."  She spat those last words out as if they were poisonous. I didn't know there was so much bad blood between them.

"Why does she need to die?" He asked, causing the grip around my neck to loosen a bit. "She is bending the rules. She was supposed to die. She doesn't belong in this universe." She spoke, the conversation got her attention off of me, giving me room to speak and breathe.

"It's not my fault, I asked for death that day, but instead I'm still awake." I should've stayed quiet. My air supply got cut off again, even more violent than before. "Shut your mouth, abomination."

"Whoa, easy with the name-calling there, sister." Dean spoke, waving his gun around in a threatening fashion. "Is there no other way we can handle this, so I won't have to destroy you?" Castiel asked, his voice menacing as it was filled with confidence and power.

Unexpected pain shot through my body, causing me to shriek, my voice echoing in the woods for miles on end. They had declared war by their actions, and without hesitation Castiel threw the blade in his hand through the air, landing in the woman's heart. A bright light shone out of her eye sockets and mouth before her body collapsed to the ground. Her voodoo no longer worked now that she was dead, and I also made contact with the moist forest ground not much after. Castiel had killed one of his own without having to think twice, just to make sure I was safe.

It didn't take long before everyone started to fight, the brothers shooting two of the others as a distraction as Castiel pulled the blade out of the woman's body, to use it again one another angel. I wanted to help, kick some ass like they were doing, but barely managed to stand on my own two feet. The men I was now sharing my life with were murder weapons, and I had seen them fight once before, but this was different. They were so damn powerful, but so damn terrifying at the same time. They were home in the skill of combat and murder. Once more they were risking their lives to protect that of mine, and I still didn't understand why.

Everyone was involved in their own small fight, everyone except me and one other angel. A tall man that came at me at full speed, the sharp blade pointed right at my heart. Leaning against the tree I was pinned against earlier, I managed to stand up, looking the creature in the eyes as I prepared myself to get stabbed. He got closer, and just before the blade would impale my body, I mindlessly started moving. My right hand gripped him at his wrist, twisting it on himself, pointing the blade at his body instead. My movement was so quick that he didn't see it coming, causing him to walk straight into the knife.

Staring at his face that was just inches away from mine, I watched as his eyes burned away with bright white light, blinding me. Petrified I watched at how the life in him disappeared. Two empty eye sockets were all that I could see as my hand was still clenched around his wrist. I let a long and shaky breath go before I yanked my hand back. His lifeless body collapsed on itself, hitting the ground right in front of my feet.

I had just killed someone, and I could feel the little amount of food that was still left in my stomach coming up. My eyes were glued on the corpse that was slowly gliding downhill, touching my feet again. I walked back as far as I could, almost crawling up that tree, just to get away from it.

I didn't mind that I had killed a dick of an angel, but Castiel's words that he had spoken so many hours ago were floating around in my head. Angels possess vessels, vessels are humans that permitted the angel to possess them. I had killed an innocent man, a faithful, innocent man. My mind fell, rolling down a steep hill as I thought about everything that man could've been. A father, a brother, a son.

"Son of a bitch." Dean's voice caught me off guard, my eyes flew up at him. He had gotten hurt, but all the angels were dead. All of them except for Castiel that was busy healing the oldest brother who had hurt his ribs in the process.

"Lilly?" Sam spoke who worriedly approached me, helping me to get out from between the corpse and the tree. "Everything okay?" He asked as he placed both his hands on my shoulders, scanning my face for a response. I slowly nodded, empty-headedly staring in his hazel eyes.

"You killed him?" He asked afterward, cutting off my oxygen flow. "I'm sorry..." I whispered, shifting my eyes towards the ground as I was being gulped up in guilt. "What are you apologizing for? I should apologize that I wasn't able to help you out. But hey, you did it? You saved your own bacon." He said with a smile, as if killing someone was a good thing, as if he had to reward me for my deed. "I killed someone?" The soft words I spoke drowned in confusion. "You killed an asshole?" Sam asked, but I could tell that he started to understand me at the end of his sentence. He blinked a few times while taking a deep breath. My gaze drifted off again to the dead body of the man that laid a bit further. My eyes drowning in salty water at the thought of his innocence.

"He might've already been dead, Lilly. You don't know that." He explained, and I suppose he was right, but it didn't make the feeling that was going through me go away. "We have killed so many. Monsters, vessels. You get used to it." My eyes shot up to his again.

"I don't want to get used to this?" I asked, disgust to be found in my voice. He bit his teeth when he realized how bad his explanation sounded. "How do you kill something without becoming a monster yourself, Sam?" I asked, seeking a logical reply.

"There is a little monster in all of us." Castiel spoke who stood next to me. I didn't see that he had approached us, and before I knew it he placed his hand on my forehead. A warm feeling flowed through me as I closed my eyes to embrace it. The pain faded, the swollenness in my lip disappeared as the wound closed itself up. His grace that was coursing its way through me was rebuilding every broken molecule in my body, causing me to feel strong as I felt the tips of my fingers tingle. Just when I had welcomed that feeling with open arms, it left as Cas pulled his hand back.

"Lilly-Mae." He said as I slowly opened my eyes again, to meet his rather gray looking ones. His eyes looked damaged, not as lively as usual. I turned towards him, wondering why he had said my name. "You're no longer safe. Heaven wants you. They want you dead." I swallowed slowly, trying to place the fact that something Holy could want such sinful things.

"I will protect you from them, just like I protect the brothers." My eyes scanned his face, studying his features, ready for whatever he was going to say next. "I will carve Enochian sigils in your ribs, to keep you hidden from Heaven's grasp." I barely understood what he meant by that, but trusted him, so I nodded. He bit his teeth as his eyes briefly looked me up and down. "This will hurt." He warned me, before placing his hand on my chest. The feeling wasn't so bad at first, until he dug his fingers tightly in the fabric of my tank top. I closed my eyes at the feeling of millions of needles flowing through my veins. Biting my teeth as hard as humanly possible to hold back my screaming.

Looking down at my own body, I could see a warm red light shining from within my flesh as burning flowed through my bone marrow. I gasped for air as he let go, falling forward when my body decided that it had been through more than enough in one day. I collided with Cas who prevented me from falling to the ground.

"Jezus Christ..." I exhaled while trying to recover from the pain I was in seconds ago, my hands digging in his arms as I tried to balance myself. "My apologies, but it had to happen." Castiel spoke, who helped me get upright again. "So now what? Heaven can't touch me anymore?"

"They can, but angels are no longer able to locate you." My eyes met his. "All angels? Including you?" I asked, and he nodded. "We'll fix you a phone, no worries. This angel is tech-savvy." Dean spoke who gave Castiel a pad on the shoulder.

Not much later we were back in the car, on our way home. Hoping that this time around we would make it there in one go, without another angel stop along the way. What just happned had me confused. Heaven wanted me dead because I didn't belong here. Which was understandable in some way. Different realities were bleeding over into each other. I had a desteny on my own earth, a plan that was carefully mapped out, and I was bending those rules, but not intentional. Did they know I wasn't fully human, like Castiel had felt before?

He and the brothers had protected me from the angels, Castiel killing his own. My eyes drifted off to the five angel blades covered in blood, that were laying between us on the backseat. Dean decided to take them with, just in case. There hung an uneasy tense atmosphere in the car that was killing me, but also the others.

"Why are they after her?" Dean broke under the pressure. "You heard what they said, Dean. They want her dead because she isn't from this universe."

"So if Heaven is after her, what does that say about Hell?" Sam asked, making my stomach turn at the thought of demons chasing me. "I doubt Hell will get involved with this." Relief filled my body for a brief second, till the angel continued talking. "Unless they too discover she isn't human, and not from this reality."

"I'm not some type of collectible?" I snapped when I had enough of it. They all wanted me because I was something unknown to them. Something they could poke with a stick and see how I would react. Castiel looked at me while his hands rested on his lap as he studied my anger. "So they know I'm not human? And what, God sent his top tier group of sadistic angels to smite my ass? Or to choke me to death, apparently." I grumbled, crossing my arms as I stared at the leather seat in front of me. "Who knew angels were such dicks." I sighed, trying not to make eye contact with the one sitting next to me as I insulted his species.

"God hasn't been around to give orders in a very long time, if I had to guess; Micheal must have given that order." An archangel had its interests put on me, and I didn't even want to know what would happen once he received the news that we had crushed his little following.

"So now what? You guys are gonna train me, right? To become on of you?"

"A hunter?" Sam asked, looking at me over his shoulder as I nodded. "I don't think you wanna be one of ours, kiddo." Dean spoke, but I already settled for how I wanted this to go.  "She needs to be able to defend herself if she would find herself in a situation that we are not there to help." Castiel defended my opinion, which I was grateful for. "But first, we need to find out what you are." We made eye contact, wondering how he wanted to do that.

The angel had a plan that he would share with us once we were back in the bunker, our words hidden from the outside between the thick and warded walls.  

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎: 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 -

- 𝒞𝒶𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑒𝓁'𝓈 𝓅❁𝒾𝓃𝓉 ❁𝒻 𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓌 -

Heaven was now involved in trying to figure out what Lilly-Mae was, turning this into a high-risk job. We were exposed, and it wouldn't take long before Hell would want to associate itself with her.

Having arrived in the bunker, I put my focus on executing my plan. "We will have to open a rift to your original dimension." I spoke, leaning against one of the many bookshelves in the library. Lilly's eyes met mine, she looked worried, scared. I figured that going back to her home-world was the best option. "We can try to get you back home." I continued, but only received negative reactions, especially from Lilly herself. She bit on the inside of her cheek, drowning in thoughts as she looked for a way to respond to my offer. The idea of her home frightened her.

"I don't have anything to go back to, Castiel." She finally spoke, her eyes glued on the wood of the table she was sitting at. I had hoped she would have agreed. If we would return her, there was no reason for Heaven to be upset at her. It would make her life easier, but she had her mind set on the thing she had grown attached to, and it brought her life in uncertainty. She was yet to discover the dangers we would bring her way.

I decided it was best to stop about her going to her home-world, and spoke about how we would open the rift instead. "How did you do it, open the rift?" I asked, meeting her eyes again.

"We didn't open them, they just appeared in the barn of Thomas's dad. I thought it was because the wall between worlds there was the thinnest." She explained, and there was some truth to her story, but she was unaware of how those 'portals' truly functioned.

"Rifts don't open by themselves, my best guess is that your presence sparked them in existence." Another sign of her being a supernatural being. "There's no way, why would they always appear in the barn and not in my house if it was me doing it?"

The mind is more powerful than most think. The rifts were a way for her to connect with Thomas, a reason for them to see each other. "Your emotions towards Thomas must have had an influence on the location." I explained, causing her to fidget with the strings of Dean's sweatpants as her cheeks got a light pink color. I tilted my head slightly as I tried to figure out what I had said that caused her behavior.

"So you're saying that Lilly needs to open that portal?" Dean asked who sat beside her. I shook my head. "It will take longer for her to get that skill under control than for us to just do research and gather the right ingredients."

Inter-dimensional travel was an extraordinary unique skill, the only other beings I knew were capable of doing so were the Archangels, and God himself. She was one of the mysterious ones. Beautifully damaged, ruthlessly scarred, we were yet to discover what she was, but I already knew it was something all-powerful.

"So, a spell to open a rift to another dimension? How will we know it's the right one? I mean, there are millions of alternative dimensions out there, right? How will we connect with the right one?" Sam was asking the real questions, as per usual, but lucky for us was the solution sitting right in front of us.

"Through Lilly's memories."

"That sounds like it's gonna hurt." She said, looking at me for a reply that would entail the opposite of her speculations. "I will have to intrude your memory, which is already quite challenging on its own, but now because of the warding it will be a rather unpleasant experience." A long explanation for saying; yes, it would hurt.

Dean eyed his watch. "When we starting? It's just past ten, think we can do a bit of research before we go to bed?" Everyone agreed, even Lilly-Mae who was rather lost in this world. The brothers and I had experience. We knew what books to consult for specific information we needed. Not wanting to exclude her, Sam picked out a couple of books that could have potential, for her to read through.

Hours passed, books were excluded, empty beer bottles were collected and Lilly her head hung lower and lower until she had fallen asleep, lying with her face on one of the books as her cheek was getting squished. Sam who had just taken a painkiller for the headache he was experiencing, chuckled at the sight of the unconscious girl. "We should bring her to bed." He spoke before yawning, he was also in need of rest. Dean also looked at her, a soft expression on his face.

I think it was safe to say that we all had grown fond of her, even though we didn't really know each other yet. Today was the first day everyone met Lilly-Mae. The real Lilly. She had changed over the last weeks, which was only normal.

My eyes were lazily reading over the words in front of me, skipping most of it, looking for keywords that could lead to more information when Sam stood up to stretch. "I'm gonna call it a night." He said before walking around the table, heading to wake Lilly up to help her get to her room. He crouched so he would be at her eye level, carefully waking her from her sleep. "Lilly."She grumbled in protest, frowning her eyebrows at the sound of Sam's voice.

When people sleep, they are in their purest form. Expressions change, softening, and relaxing under the deep trance. When one sleeps the body heals, the mind stores new memories while destroying others.

"I'll bring you to bed, you want me to carry you?" Sam whispered, patiently waiting for a reply that she wouldn't give because she had fallen asleep again. He called her name again when his patience ran out.

"No." She mumbled, slightly adjusting the way she was laying on the book with her face pressed against the pages. "You wanna sleep the rest of the night sitting in a crappy chair, while laying on a book?" Sam asked, an amused tone in his voice to be heard. "Yeah..." She answered, almost exhaling the word in annoyance. Eventually, the youngest brother stopped trying and was ready to go to bed himself, when I took the task of bringing her to her bedroom on myself. I slid the chair from underneath me as I stood up, walking towards her.

"She said she's okay with sleeping here." Sam informed me as I carefully pulled her chair back to pick her up. "She's passed out, she doesn't know what she's saying." I replied, carrying her unconscious body in my arms. Lilly was so tired and in such a deep sleep that she didn't even wake at me picking her up.

I walked down the halls with her laying in my arms, like the night we had found her in that warehouse. Brief images of how much blood was running out of her wound flashed in front of my eyes. The trail it had left behind took weeks before it fully came off of the tiles, leaving them stained red for days on end. It was one of the many memories I had that I would rather forget, but will never be able to unsee. I kicked her bedroom door open with my foot, before carefully laying her on her bed, covering her with sheets afterward.

Biting on my teeth I took a step back, looking at how peaceful she looked when asleep. Although seeing her like that gave me a double feeling. I much rather had her walking around, biting her tongue trying not to curse. I caught myself staring, and wondered why I felt so obligated to take care of her. Why we all felt that urge to make sure she was safe, happy, and all right. She was a complete stranger that had fallen into our laps during another classic hunt. But yet, this was different.

I had lost my belief in fate years ago after God had turned his back to Heaven and earth, but something inside of me said that meeting her was faith. It had to happen, as if it was carefully planned out. If I didn't join the brothers, they would never have discovered that she was still alive, and it had been months since I had joined them to take care of a case. The chances of me tagging along were so minimal, the chances of her being stuck there forever were so big, but yet it happened.

I had to discover why we were so drawn to her, and with that thought going through my mind, I left her room, not fully closing her door because of force of habit. When she wasn't awake yet, we always left her door open for just a couple of inches, to make it easier for us to hear if something would happen while being in another part of the bunker.

I returned to an empty library, Dean had gone to sleep, leaving me alone to do research. I didn't mind it, however, I could find peace in moments where I was alone. I had put my mind on some old artifacts from in the Black Grimoire,  very dark and powerful witchcraft. Skipping over most of the pages I came to a chapter that caught my attention. There was talk about inter-dimensional travel, and when my eyes read over the word 'rift' my heart dropped.

A long and complicated spell was listed, ancient language mixed with a list of rare ingredients. I had found a spell that claimed it would perform exactly what we needed. With the book in my hand, I flew to the pantry, checking how much of the ingredients we already had laying around. For once in our lives, we were lucky and had everything right here in the bunker, everything but one key ingredient; Angel grace. Deciding I would drain my own later on, I made sure I had everything prepared so it would be ready to go once the others would wake in the morning.

Carrying a bowl that was filled with herbs, crystals, the blood of various animals, and the book I decided it would be best to perform the spell in the dungeon. There, the rift would be surrounded by thick warded walls, in the hope that Heaven wouldn't notice the portal opening all too much.

Once I arrived, I crushed all the ingredients together, carefully measuring out the amounts and keeping an eye on the order that I poured them into the bowl. Bathing a painite gemstone in the dust mixture I had created, cautiously covering every bit of the surface with it, to gently brush off the excess afterward. After having placed the gem on the floor, right in front of the big devil's trap that was painted on the floor of the room, I was almost done. The only steps left was collecting my grace, and waiting for the others to wake to perform the spell after having seen Lilly-Mae's memories of her home universe.

Unscrewing the cap of a glass test tube, I prepared myself to extract my grace which was a delicate procedure. Putting the cap down, holding the tube I revealed my angel blade from within my sleeve. Placing the glass against my throat, I slowly brought the sharp metal of the blade closer to my neck, it touched my skin right above where I held the tube, so it would be easily collected. I put pressure, ready to cut my flesh open when I got startled.

"Cas, what the hell?" Lilly's voice filled the room unexpectedly, almost making me drop the things I was holding.  "What are you doing?" She questioned as she walked straight at me, her voice sounded angry but her face showed concern. "Lilly, you are awake?" I asked, turning in her direction to meet her. She yanked the blade from my grasp after having come to a complete stop right in front of my feet. I had to look down to meet her gaze due to the height difference.

"Isn't killing yourself a sin?" She snapped, hiding the angel blade from me behind her back, defending it, as if she was able to keep it from me, even if I would try to get it back.

"I wasn't going to kill myself?" I asked, shortly after realizing that the scene she had walked into did suggest otherwise. "The spell calls for angel grace." I explained, pointing to the book on the table next to us. "Oh..." She whispered, slowly revealing the angel blade again, to lay it down beside the collection of paper. "You found a spell to open a portal?" I nodded, turning to show her the list of ingredients and ancient words. "I have everything ready to go, except for the grace and your memories."

She read over the words as I took a moment to look at her. She was standing up on her own, and the way she walked towards me in full fury showed she wasn't struggling with it any longer. The few hours of sleep she had gotten and the meal from earlier had given her body more strength. It made me happy, seeing her slowly become the old Lilly again, the one from before all of this happened.

"Let's do it." She said, laying the book back down, suggesting to perform the spell under just the two of us. She didn't want to wait for the brothers, and I didn't think that was such a good plan. "We don't need them for anything, Cas. You've your grace, I've my memories. We can help each other out."

"Are you suggesting you want to slice open my throat to extract my grace?" I asked, slightly tilting my head to the left. Her eyes widened as she took a step back. "That was what you were doing?" I nodded. "Well, sure, I suppose." She briefly licked her lips before picking up the angel blade she had put down earlier. "You'll have to explain to me how this works though, before I accidentally kill your angel ass." I wondered how long it would take her before she started cursing, turned out not that long. She was scared, yet wanted to help.

"Well, it's just a matter of slicing the skin of my throat open."

"Ah, yes, I'm an expert in slicing that specific part of the body open." She replied with a smile, but I knew she was being sarcastic. If something did go wrong, I could always heal myself. I wouldn't lose consciousness unless too much of my grace was extracted.

I took a step forward, handing her the test tube. "You'll collect my grace in here, and make sure to close the cap tightly, so it won't escape." She nodded, focusing back and forth between the blade and the container, before looking at me. We were already standing relatively close together, but she took another step, almost standing with her bare feet on the tips of my shoes. Biting on my teeth I looked down at her, meeting her milk-chocolate colored eyes. "Ready?" I asked, "Yeah..." She exhaled, before standing on the tips of her toes to be able to reach my neck easier. Her hands were shaking, but there was no need to be scared.

I could feel her warm breath brushing over my skin as she leaned in closer, before placing the sharp end of the blade to my throat. Lilly was biting on the inside of her cheeks again, gnawing, trying to build op the courage to cut into me.

"It's okay, I'm still a celestial being, I'll survive." I gave her a small comforting smile, making her eyes briefly meet those of mine again, her pupils dilated. "I'm sorry." She whispered, before cutting into me. She drew a small horizontal line, and gasping for air I could feel part of me leave my vessel. I rapidly blinked a few times before shutting my eyes fully, biting on my teeth at the dreadful feeling. Life, power, was being drained from inside of me, making me weaker.

I could hear her closing the cap, and that was my clue to heal myself. Placing the palm of my hand over the cut, I mend all the molecules of my vessel, alongside the complicated matter that was me, back together. She had drained more than needed, leaving me dazed and weaker than expected. My legs tried to give away, but leaning with my hand against the table gave me support.

"Cas?" Lilly sounded, her voice vulnerable and concerned. I opened my eyes, lazily looking into hers. She scanned my face rapidly as she put the blade down, and the test tube that contained my grace, looking like a cloudly white light. Her eyebrows frowned as she grabbed me by the arms. "Are you okay? What did I do wrong?" She asked worriedly, not leaving my gaze for a second.

Little did she know that it wasn't her fault, but mine. After what happened in the forest the other night, I was cut off from heaven. My main power source was taken away from me, making every drop of grace count. I wasn't going to share this information, however, it was too early and if the brothers knew heaven wanted me dead again, they would be concerned too.

"It's okay Lilly. I just have to regenerate the grace that got drained, give me a couple of minutes and I should be fine." I explained, I could see her expression relax for a smidge, but not fully. She was happy I would be fine after a while, but that didn't change the fact that I felt horrible right now in this moment. "I'll get you a chair." She spoke before turning her back on me to get a chair from in the corner of the room. "No, it's okay, really. We will have to hurry if we want to perform the rest of the spell before the brothers wake up." It was as if my words had entered her one ear, and immediately spilled out the other.

On her face a moody expression, squinting her eyes slightly as she placed a chair down in front of me. She didn't even have to say it, and I knew exactly what she was thinking. I took a deep breath, gave a small nod in appreciation, and took a seat. Lilly decided to take a seat on the table, rocking her feet back and forth as she admired the grace in the glass tube.

"So, this is what gives you powers?" She asked, and I nodded. "What would happen if someone would drain all of it?"

"I would die, or worse." She tilted her head at my reply. "I would become human." Lilly chuckled, thinking what I just said was a joke. "And so, every time you use your powers, you burn up a bit of this?" She asked, tilting the tube back and forth, making the grace inside of it slide back and forth with it. "Yes."

"And afterward, you have to regenerate, to get back to full power?" I nodded. "So you're basically like a rechargeable battery?" I let a breath heavy laugh go after she had compared me to that. "I suppose you could look at it that way." I spoke, meeting her eyes for a brief second because she was too focused on the bright white light to keep them fixed on me.

"Is there a limit to how powerful you are? Or does your grace just build up if you don't use it?" She was fascinated by what I was, and made me question things I never really thought about before. "I think that every angel has his limit of grace that he or she produces by themselves, but referring to your battery theory from before; there is a way to overcharge a battery." She grew curious at my words, seeking more information she leaned in closer. Her eyes no longer looking at the light, but right into mine. "By consuming souls, one can become stronger than originally intended. But nothing good comes from that, just like an overcharged battery, it breaks."

She took a moment of silence to place that information, the more I explained the more questions she had. Every response sparked curiosity and I decided I was rested enough for the next part, entering her memories. I stood up, offering the chair to Lilly, knowing the pain I would cause her would be too much for her to handle.

"Are you ready?" I asked, carefully studying her facial expressions so I would know the whole truth, not just what she wanted me to believe. Her eyes were glued on the piece of furniture as she slowly swallowed. "This is really going to hurt, isn't it?" She asked softly, her gaze slowly meeting mine. "I'm afraid so." I didn't want to hurt her, but it had to happen if we wanted to find out what she was. Lilly exhaled as she took a seat on the chair, brushing her hair over her shoulders so it hung over her back."Well then, let's get on with it."

"Do you want me to explain how this will work?" I asked Lilly as I took my trench coat off, together with my suit jacket, rolling up the sleeves of my shirt so all the access fabric wouldn't get in the way. She nodded gently as she nibbled on her lower lip, her legs impatiently trembling while she didn't know what to do with her hands. She was extremely nervous, and I tried to calm her down with my words. Stepping closer, I started to speak.

"I will place my hands on your head, entering your mind, searching for the right memories that give me the right amount of information about your home-world. I will look for key differences so I can tell universes apart. I will try my best to not enter personal memories because like I have told you before; I respect your privacy. Every memory I will enter will be pulled back, making you experience them along with me."

I had just warned her that the following minutes would be filled with images of the past. Some of them may be good, others bad. Nonetheless, it would be a physically challenging procedure to go through, but it wouldn't be any easier mentally. She didn't speak another word after that, just waiting for me to get started.

I stood in front of her, now the tips of my shoes almost in contact with her feet as I build up the courage and strength to enter this pure soul. I was going to harm her, make her feel awful, but biting on my teeth I recovered the last piece of Angel Soldier that was left inside of me. I had a job to do, and while wearing a cloak made out of empathy-less angel over my shoulders, I placed both my hands on her head.

Lilly-Mae looked me straight into the eyes, a small smile on her face as she noticed my hesitation and struggle. "It's okay, I'm still a supernatural being, I'll survive." She had twisted my own words I had spoken earlier. My fingers inter-twined themselves with her strands of dark brown hair as I tried to get in direct contact with the skin of her scalp. Placing my fingertips on the right pressure points. Lilly took a deep shaky breath as I closed my eyes, ready to enter her mind.

"My apologies."

My eyes lit up with a bright blue light as my grace started to break down her soul, entering the disorganized mess of cloudy memories.  Every image I would pull from her mind would play in front of her eyes, so I had to be careful. I had to keep my curiosity on a leash, wanting to get to know her past, wasn't allowed. Careful to not pull up the bad ones, the ones that could ruin her. A bad memory is poison our mind pours out for us, a poison we get addicted to, unable to stop pouring over and over, wondering why we feel so sick all the time.

Finally, I decided on a memory I would enter, the back of my head filled with screaming that I tried to ignore the best I could. A field, a barn, on the right in the far distance a small white house, on the left a big farm. I stood in the middle of a grain field, the sky above my head had a pink color as the sun was setting. Right in front of me stood a big red barn, voices filled my ears and as I looked up, at the roof of the barn, I found Lilly and Thomas sitting on it next to each other. That wasn't what I was here for, the white house in the distance caught my attention. I assumed it was where Lilly-Mae lived.

I left that memory, seeking another that would involve the white building. It didn't take long before I found one, entering it, biting my teeth at shrieking that bounced around in the back of my head. I still stood outside, the barn in the distance, unable to see the farm, but standing right in front of Lilly's house. Loud laughter filled my ears as I looked to the left, Lilly was laying in the grass, wearing nothing but a simple yellow bikini, next to her laid Thomas wearing black shorts. It was a hot summer day and they were tanning, although Lilly was turning red instead of brown.

Shifting my focus back to the house, I caught the address, I knew where I was. Monteview, Idaho. A very small, simple farmers town, surrounded by endless fields. That was it, it only took two memories for me to figure it all out, but the leash broke, and my eyes shifted back to Lilly and Thomas.

I watched how he made fun of her for getting a sunburn on the first warm summer day. He poked her skin, making her gasp for air at the pain, followed by her glass of water that she poured out over his head. They were laughing, both happy and free.

I stared as I tried to imagine what type of person Thomas used to be. He cared for her, he loved her. Lilly sat across from him as a mirror, reflecting the same exact feelings, yet they never got around to discuss it. If I didn't know better, I'd say that a cupid was behind this, but this universe, there were no angels, no Heaven or Hell. Thomas stood up after being drenched with water, grabbing one of the ice cubes that had fallen onto him, to hold it against Lilly's neck. She screamed at the icy touch, knocking his arm away to stand up, running past me towards the garden hose that hung on the wall.

"Don't you dare, you little monster!" Thomas yelled, pointing at Lilly who had a big smile on her face, her white teeth shining. "Too late! Besides, you're in urgent need of a shower, smelly!" She turned the hose on, soaking Thomas who tried his best to hide from the ice-cold water. Her sweet laughter filled my ears, admiring her I allowed myself to enjoy seeing her happy.

My name that got cried out caught my attention, realizing what I was doing my heart dropped. I let go of her head, my own mind being pulled through a black tunnel before returning to reality. My eyes met those of Lilly that was sitting in front of me. Her cheeks wet as she looked at me, her eyes red and swollen from crying as she was gasping for air. I broke down, realizing what I had done. "I am so sorry..." I whispered before kneeling in front of her to be at her eye level, my hands resting on her shoulders as I tried my best to comfort her.

Lilly bit on her lip, blinking another tear away. "That hurt like a bitch." She spoke under her heavy breaths. "Please tell me you know enough?" She asked, her voice shakey, already scared at the thought that she might have to go through this again. I heavily nodded, I knew exactly where we had to go, but was worried at the fact that I had pulled her through a train of memories of her and Thomas. Closing her eyes, she wanted to speak; "I..."

"Stop, I know. You don't have to say it." I felt horrible, and I wiped away another tear that tried to make its way down her cheek. For a while, all we had was eye contact because that spoke more than words could ever do. In that very moment, I had promised myself I would never hurt her again, I would never lay another finger on her with bad intentions, and she knew. She could tell by the silent conversation we had. I was never good with words or understanding humanity, but she made it easier.

It was about to turn seven AM, meaning that it wouldn't be long before Sam would wake up. The salty water on her cheeks had dried up, but the whites of her eyes that were still red gave away that she had cried. When Lilly's heartbeat had calmed down and her breathing went back to normal, I stood up, rolling down my sleeves to put both my jackets back on. Her mind was hazy and I decided it was best to leave her in silence for a bit longer, while I prepared the last parts of the spell. In the meantime preparing myself to travel to her home dimension.

--

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗: 𝙻𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚢 -

- 𝒞𝒶𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑒𝓁'𝓈 𝓅❁𝒾𝓃𝓉 ❁𝒻 𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓌 -

"Koth Munto Nuntox"

The ancient words rolled over Lilly-Mae's tongue who stood behind me, holding the Black Grimoire in her hands. She had spoken the spell to open the rift, and as soon as the last sound escaped her mouth, the gem laying on the ground in front of us started to glow. There was a deep rumbling sound to be heard from within the stone as it collected its powers.

The Winchesters were still fast asleep, giving us the opportunity to finish the spell without their interference. I looked over my shoulder to the startled girl who was staring at the bright orange light that shone out of the gem, before a bright flash filled the room. The crystal had exploded, causing a small yelp to escape Lilly. Pieces of it bounced against the walls like glass shards as the blinding light took the ability to see from me. The bright light died down; revealing the brutal rip in reality it had created, lighting the room with a warm orange tone. The rift was long, like a crack in a stone wall, the core bright white, framed by an orange glow. It moved slowly like an organism, waving back and forth, showing signs of life.

I had seen a rift once before, but standing right in front of the tear in space and time that was made out of pure compressed power caused me to be nervous. We were unsure of how long it would last, and the last thing I wanted was to get trapped on the other side. Deciding it was best to just move as quickly as possible, I walked towards the rift. Right before I was about to make contact with it, Lilly grabbed me by the sleeve. She spun me around, making me look straight in her eyes.

"Do you want me to go with?" She suggested, concerned about my safety because she knew the place, and I didn't. I would be lost in the world she had grown up in, but I had to do the right thing. I shook my head, taking her back to her home-world would mentally kill her, and both of us knew that all too well.

"Are you sure? What if something goes wrong, Cas? I don't know how to get you back... I don't have grace to open up another portal. Maybe it's best if I just go?" I grabbed her by the shoulders, cutting off the words that kept on flowing out as a lost waterfall. "Lilly, it's okay, I'll be back before the brothers wake up." A short small smile appeared on my lips, trying to convince her, hoping to calm her nerves. "All you have got to do is promise me you'll be here when I return, okay?" She took a deep breath, sorting out her thoughts before nodding.

Letting my hands slide off her shoulders, I looked at the rift once more, collecting bravery within me. I stood right in front of the tear and could feel the burning heat coming off of it as I tried to figure out my thoughts.

It's just another earth, just like this one. There was nothing to be afraid of. With that in mind, my foot slowly dragged itself forward. Ready to enter the rift, Lilly spoke once more: "Castiel," she whispered my name as she distanced herself from me, "watch your step, it's a long way down." I looked back at her, causing my shoulder to come in contact with the crack. I saw her face, her concerned eyes that were glistening with orange before everything went white.

I was making the fall to the other universe, taking in my surroundings as I tried not to panic. A strong stinging pain flowed through my vessel, making it hard to breathe. The idea that Lilly used to do this with Thomas for fun was beyond me. Their curiosity got the better of them, risking so much for the satisfaction of getting to know other worlds, other outcomes, and realities.

Heat stung my flesh like millions of small needles, and before I knew it the orange color pallet that surrounded me went dark, and the rift in the other world spat me out like something poisonous. Rolling, scraping over a hard concrete floor covered in hay, I came to a stop. Just like in Lilly's memories had the rift appeared in the barn, like she was used to. Dusting off my coat, I stood up, briefly looking around me to make sure I had ended up in the right universe.

The absence of a Heaven weighed heavy on my shoulders as confirmation that this was the correct reality. It was night, and looking at the small amount of moonlight that shone through the cracks of the barn, I put my focus on Lilly-Mae's house. With the blink of an eye and a brief thought about the place, I stood in front of it. Looking at the white walls, as my gaze drifted off to the grass on the left side of the entrance. The memory I had seen earlier that took place in this exact spot played in the back of my head, only now there was no Thomas or Lilly to be seen. It was dark, the grass a somber brown color instead of bright green. In the air hung a chilled atmosphere, none of Lilly's laughter filling my ears, instead; the soft noises of crickets.

Looking back at the door that was blocked by police tape I took a moment to place the fact that she and Thomas were reported missing. Pictures of both their faces were glued on the outside of her house like wallpaper, underneath them laying in the grass bouquets of small white flowers surrounded by green leaves. I crouched down to pick up one of the bundles of flowers, pressing my nose against it to smell them. The soft and sweet floral scent filled my lungs, making me whisper their name; "Lily of the Valley."

The time I had got to know the girl named after the flower, she had informed me that she was very lonely, standing practically alone in this word to face it, but people did care about her. Tea lights circled her house, together with hundreds of flowers, all to support her and Thomas. Two young people who had gone missing from this earth, literally picked off of it like a flower, brutally ripped from life. One of them was safe and sound, the other had come to an awful end, but that would stay a mystery for the people in this universe, a case that would never be solved.

Clearing my mind, I teleported inside to be greeted by old and dusty furniture. By the looks of it, the place was practically untouched since she left. A house stuck in time, put on pause until its owner would return.

Her house was small, but filled to the brim with stuff. Books, plants, pieces of art, and gems were scattered around in a messy fashion, but you could tell she had thought the placement through. I stood in the middle of the living room that existed out of an old dark brown leather sofa with a small simple television, a big bookshelf, and multiple rugs. Directly connected to that the dining room, next to the dinner table stairs that led to the second floor.

The many plants that stood in her house were dead, the sad dried up leaves hanging on for dear life, another sign that this house was no longer a home to someone. Filling my lungs was mostly dust, but next to that a cozy cinnamon smell that blended perfectly with old dark wood. Her house perfectly reflected who Lilly was as a person. I wondered how long it would take before she would start filling her room in the bunker with similar decorations. A hint of a smile appeared on my face, imagining the scene of Dean freaking out over the scented candles that would slowly leak its scent into the rest of the bunker.

Shifting my focus back on the thing I should be focusing on, to begin with, I looked at the many books that laid on the bookshelves. My priority was finding out what Lilly-Mae was, and it didn't take long before I had gone through every single book, checking all the pages. She had a lot of fictional books scattered around, from an innocent series of books called Harry Potter, to a rather weird collection about the different shades of grey. Which I decided to not even look at, knowing it wouldn't deliver me the information I was seeking after.

Deciding to move on I went upstairs because I had a feeling deep down that the book mess would continue on the second floor of the house. The dark wooden stairs creaked under the weight of my feet as I made my way up, taking in as much of the surroundings as I could. Her kitchen was filled with drying herbs, on the windowsills glass jars with water. On the wall that led upstairs hung instead of classic family pictures, multiple animal skulls. Lilly's house had a spiritual touch. A bit, witchy, was the best way to describe it.

The closer I got to the second floor, the more prominent the cinnamon smell became. Old faded red wallpaper complemented the dark wooden floor in the hallway perfectly, together with the as dark wooden doors. The upper floor was as big as the bottom, giving her enough space for two bedrooms and a bathroom, although one of the two bedrooms had become an art room. I briefly laid my eyes on the many paintings that were scattered around the room before walking past the bathroom that strongly smelled of mint.  At the end of the hallway was where her bedroom was located. The door of the room stood wide open giving me a direct vision of her messy bed that stood against the window.

On entering the room a weird feeling flowed through my vessel. Seeing the crazy amount of blankets laying on her bed that was swung open showed exactly in how much of a hurry she was the night she left to meet Thomas. I counted three different blankets, and that was quite a lot considering it was mid-summer. A half-empty cup of tea stood on her nightstand that was collecting a thick layer of mold. The weird feeling was the confrontation that went through me that Lilly was indeed lonely. She might have a lot of support from strangers, that pity her going missing, but there was not a single soul who took care of her house while she was gone.

Not a family member, not a good friend, no one. I slightly tilted my head in confusion at the urge to clean the place. I considered it for a moment, but when my eyes met a suitcase that was tucked under her bed, I changed my mind. It was clear that this wasn't Lilly-Mae's home any longer, but all of this was still hers. Instead of trying to get Lilly back to her homeworld, I decided to bring her belongings to her in the new universe she was trying to fit into. Pulling the suitcase from under the bed, I stopped myself.

Info. I was here for information on what Lilly is. Biting my teeth I forced myself to shift my focus, and blinked myself to the nearest library.

-To be continued- 

#supernatural #fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #castiel/ofc #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #castiel winchester #supernatural fanfic #monsters #castiel x reader #castiel fanfiction #dean fanfiction #sam fanfiction #alternate universe #brutal rip in reality #confused cas is confused #misha collins #jensen ackles #jared paladecki #crowley #rowena #angels #demons

[siempre-pedro]

My Kid Punched His Kid |4|

Single Dad!Teacher!Ben Hardy x Single Mom!Reader

Summary: A playground fight between two 8-year-olds bring together 2 lonely single parents.

In This Chapter: Our favorite single parents bickering. cute ass kids! More of Ben’s son! 

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: Here’s part 4 everybody!!! I’m so proud of this and really hope you like it. Please let me know what you think, I love your feedback!  Thank you thank you for all the nice messages i love them all. 

Y/N leaned against the wall outside the classroom, her arms crossed over chest with her fingertips tapping the sleeves of her light blue suede moto jacket. Her Y/E/C eyes scan the halls of mostly mothers waiting to pick up their kids, half of them wore basically nothing. She smirks, further presses her back to the wall.

Once the bell rings all the moms rush in probably ignoring their kids and fighting over the attention of the teacher. It was the perfect opportunity to go in and rush out before he could notice her. Peeling herself off the wall she walks in and approaches Abby’s desk. Looking down at the brightly colored name card with ‘Abagail’ written nicely in his handwriting. “How was the movie?” she asks.

Abby narrows her eyes, looking up at her mom with confusion, her brain trying to come up with how she knew. “How did you know we watched a movie?” she questions with suspicion evident in her voice. Y/N mouth opens in regret. Shit. She thinks on her feet and pouts her lips.

“I’m your mom. I know everything.” That was fair. Abby nods and agreement and continues to pack her bag in silence, her blue eyes look towards the corner of the room through the locks of curled hair. She was typically a fearless kid, sure she didn’t like the dark but she was the kid that punched another in the face without hesitation. She looks up at her mom who was trying not to look in the direction of her teacher's desk “Mom I need to ask you something?”

“What’s up, Babe?”

Abby takes a deep breath, rolls her shoulders back to stand tall “Can me and James have a playdate?” her words come out fast like she’s out of breath, happy to get it over with. She stands tall, her eyes squint to show power…she learned it from a movie and kept it in the back of her mind just in case the occasion arose. She puts on her backpack and grips the glittery straps tightly.

Y/N bends down to meet Abby’s eye line, she sighs and rubs her shoulder lovingly. It was a terrible idea. Things would be awkward; the kids wouldn’t know but they would know. “Abs, you know Mr. Jones and I don’t get along. I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she reasons. Abagail narrows her eyes and huffs, looking away from her mother. 

“Mom, this isn’t about you,” she says sternly, looking back at her. Y/N’s jaw drops in shock caught off guard from the sudden anger in her child. 

“Excuse me? What happened to my 8-year-old?” she questions with nervous laughter. 

“Mom,” she growls, folding her arms. The Y/H/C haired woman closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She gets up and looks down at Abby sympathetically. She loathed the man, but breaking her daughter's heart weighed heavier on her heart than her pride.

“Fine, I’ll go talk to him,” she says as calmly as she could. She turns to the man who was preoccupied with the moms who were trying to get his attention. “Mr. Jones?” Ben’s head snaps up and grins wildly, uttering regrets to the other moms and eagerly making his way to her. She smiles slightly as the eagerness.

“Can I help you?” he smirks. Y/N’s face becomes stone cold, she furrows her eyes together and clenches a fist at her side. 

“Abagail wants to have a playdate with James.” 

Ben hums and smiles, shifting on the heels of his feet “Is this a way for you to ask me out?” he responds. 

“No,” she hisses. “This is all for her.” 

“Fine, fine. Still, think you’re lying but! We are free on Sunday’s.” 

“We go to the park every Sunday…maybe he could join us.” She hated this, she really did and what made it worse was that shit eating grin on his stupid perfect face. 

“We’ll be there, 11 ok?” 

She forces a smile “See you then,” she says through gritted teeth. Now that was worse than childbirth. Her hands stay clenched, her pride deteriorated as she walked away from, not giving the satisfaction of talking to him anymore. Abby, however, was over the moon when Y/N told her as they walked out of the school, her smile made it almost worth it. As Y/N shut the car door her jeans pocket started to vibrate, she shifts and pulls it out from her back pocket.

‘My heads fine by the way, how’s yours?’

She looks at the school and then back at her phone ‘Ben’ illuminated from the screen. How the fuck did she get his number. ‘How do I have your number?’

‘You were practically begging for it last night…amongst other things.’

‘haha very funny asshole’

‘I put it in your phone while you slept, just in case you needed something. I didn’t snoop don’t worry.’

“Mom? They’re honking at us,” Abby groans, sinking father in her seat in an attempt to hide her face from the people watching. Y/n snaps out of the trance and throws her phone in the passenger seat and quickly drives off, being lectured by the kid about using her phone.

 The days dragged on, Y/N found herself purposely trying to bury herself in her work to get her mind off of him. Every night when she looked at herself in the mirror, she would see the marks she put on her. She remembered his touch all too well. The morning of the play date, a simple towel wrapped around her body that mark on her chest on full display. The deep purple color had finally begun to fade, the beads of water glide over it. She wiped the water away and grabbed her phone from the counter. ‘so today?’ God. Him again? Again meaning since the first time he messaged her, he didn’t blow her phone up like she was expecting. She bites her lip as she contemplates responding. He knows the kids have been talking nonstop about their playdate.

‘What about it?’

‘I’m just making sure you’re not chickening out.’

‘Fuck off.’  She grumbles complaints and throws her phone on the bed, refusing to look at the expensive piece of trash. You sleep with a guy one time and he thinks he can talk to you. She laughs at her thoughts and walks to her closet. She pauses, she was searching through her closet like she was 16 going on her first date. Hastily pushing the hangs to the side to catch a quick glance at her clothes before deeming them horrible. “I need new clothes,” she whispers to herself. Settling a pair of black yeans and a long beige sweater she put on a necklace with her initial and took one last look “This is fine, I don’t want him.”

It was a relief when they got their first to the park, Y/N wanted to throw up the whole way there “Mom where are they, it’s 11?” Abby questions, scanning the large park as she zipped up her pink jacket.

“They’ll be here soon, Baby. I promise,” she responds as she sits on the large plaid blanket. Secretly hoping they got sick or something. But as if on cue James runs up to Abby with his blond curls flapping in the wind.

“So you didn’t chicken out,” Ben says amused as he stands next to her. Y/N grimaces and scans him, black t-shirt and basketball shorts. Simple.

“It’s September, 60 and you’re in shorts?”

Ben laughs and sits down, running a hand through his hair “Function over fashion…unlike you. You look nice though.”

Y/N rolls her eyes and huffs out a thank you, turning her head to cover the heat rising to her cheeks “At least I’m warm.” Ben smirks at the effect he had on her.

“Mom, can we go play?” Abby asks as she digs around the large tote bag for a ball.

“Go, have fun. Please don’t hit anyone,” Y/N pleads with a smile. Abby sticks out her tongue and tucks the soccer ball under her arm.

“James, come here please,” Ben says using his dad voice. James pouts and stomps over, tucking his hands in his pants pocket. Ben leans forward and places his hands on the boys clothed shoulders “Please be good, ok? Be nice to the other kids.”

“Ok, Dad,” James whispers, his matching green eyes shift back and forth reluctant to meet Ben’s glare. Ben sighs and smiles softly before shooing him off. Ben watches as the kids run off to the playground, he was always fearful when they came to the park. James wasn’t good with other kids, his social skills were clearly lacking. He said a silent prayer he could hurt the poor girl again.

“You ok Jones?” Y/N asks as she pulls out her tablet.

Ben breaks eye contact with them and nods, he looks down at her drawing and looks up at her serious face “What are you doing?”

“Working,” she replies shortly. He slowly moves closer to her, shoulders brushing together.

“On what?”

Y/N bites the inside of her cheek and narrows her eyes “I illustrate kids books. I’m working.” Ben nods and attempts to get closer, his head getting closer to her shoulder, she could feel his hair brush against her arm “What are you doing?”

“Let me see.” He opens his hand for the white pencil, his green eyes cutely looking into hers. Y/N hands over the pencil, praying that she saved her work. “How do I draw a happy little tree?” he asks her, causing her to giggle. Her lips form a tight line before going into a smile, her heart soared knowing he made a Bob Ross reference.  She puts her hand over his drags him over to tap on a few spots. Moving her hand she watches him try to copy one of her trees, it looked like one of their kids had drawn it but it was still cute. His tongue would poke out when he would try to concentrate.  “What do you think?” He asks excitedly looking at her with wide eyes and a proud smile.

“You did your best,” she responds, letting him down softly.

“You can tell me its shit,” he laughs and hands her back the pencil. When she takes it they lock eyes, reminiscing of how they saw each other in bed that night. Pure adoration. She opens her mouth to speak when sniffle sound flood their ears. They turn quickly to see James walk up the hill, rubbing his eyes.

“James, what happened?” Ben asks worriedly, jumping up from his seat to check to see if he had any cuts. While he was in dad mode, Y/N saved a picture of the altered drawing before erasing what he’d done to it and turning her attention to the boys.

“T-they won’t let me play,” he blubbers, covering his puffy eyes with the palms of his hand.

“Who, Bub?” Ben asks in between the sobs, leading him back to the blanket.

James turns over his shoulder and points to the group of kids play soccer. Ben closes his eyes and groans, he knew this would happen. It was rare to have an outing without something happening. It was like Arnold asking for one normal field trip with Ms. Frizzle: not going to happen. “Did you ask if you could play?” James responds with a tiny nod. Ben wasn’t fooled by his nod, he knew he was lying.

“What did you say?”

“Let me play,” his small voice came out even tinier.

“Mate you need to ask. With manners.”

James furrowed his eyebrows in irritation “I know dad,” he whines.

“I don’t think you do,” Ben retorts, his irritation showing.

Y/N puts her tablet aside and places her hand on Ben’s shoulder “Can I?” she suggests, motioning towards his son. Ben nods and sits back. “James, come here, Darling,” she speaks calmly. He calms at her soothing motherly tone and walks to her. “What are the magic words, James?” Y/N puts her hands on his shoulder, giving him loving rubs with her thumbs.

He shrugs at her “I don’t know.”

She hums “I think you do. Try it!”

“Please and thank you,” he finally answers. Y/N faces lights up and gives him a shake, making him laugh.

“There you go! I believe in you James, I want you to go back out there and ask them the right way,” she persuaded, taking a look at the other kids. She looked back at him kindly, like how she would talk to her own child. “Manners maketh the man, show them the English gentleman I know you are.” She turns him around, giving him a small squeeze of the shoulders and gently pushes him from her. They watch as the boy walks to the group of kids, James taps a tall boy on the shoulder and opens his mouth to speak. Ben started to bite on one of his nails like he was watching a suspense movie, he couldn’t handle another fight. He released the held breath when the taller boy let James into the circle and tossed him the ball.

“How the fuck did you do that?” Ben asks in shock, a surprised smile gracing his features.

Y/N shrugs and places her tablet back in her lap “Abby was the same way after Grant and I divorced. I needed to remind her about her manners and be nice about it. It takes time,” she explains. Ben grumbles and pulls out math homework from his backpack along with a red pen.

“You know he got kicked out of three nursery schools? He’s never been good with other kids.” She could sense the sadness and frustration in his tone, she wasn’t lying when she said it took time. It took 2 years for her daughter to get back to normal.

“He’s a good kid, Ben,” she says in reassurance. Ben frowns and tries to focus on his work, twirling the pen in between his fingers. he’d never really told anyone about James’ behavior, Gwil was really the only person that knew. His parents would scold him for how he was raising him, never good enough.

“You’re a good Dad. Don’t say that.”

Ben’s mouth forms a small o shape, he didn’t mean to say his thoughts “I-I didn’t mean to,” he tries to laugh it off. Y/N lowers her eyebrows and sucks in her bottom lip to show how unimpressed she was. Ben cocks his head in annoyance, narrowing his green eyes. The Y/H/C woman shrugs and returns to her work and lets him go back to his, dropping the subject… even though she was right.

It was mostly peaceful, in between her glances up at Abagail to make sure she was safe she would look over to Ben out of the corner of her eye. He would let out a light laugh when she couldn’t read the writing and would let out the occasional curse when he would cross off a wrong answer. It was comforting. “Mom!” Abby cheered as she ran up the hill, huffing when he reached the top.

“Are you having fun?” Y/N coos.

“Yeah…can we play Shoots and Ladders now?”

Ben’s ears perked up “Shoots and Ladders?” he questions.

“We play it every time we come,” Abby explains excitedly as she pulls the game from the bag. Y/N takes it from her and tells her to go get James. She nods and runs back down the hill while Y/N set the game up.

“Are you any good?” Ben taunts, laying down on his side and propping himself up with his elbow, greeting her with a smirk.

“I will destroy you,” she challenges.

With the kids gathered around the game started off as normal as possible, Abby and James frowning when their parents would get ahead of them. James’ small tongue poked out when he rolled the dice “I got a 6!” he cheered as he picked up the piece.

“Good job!” Ben clapped him on the back and smiled proudly as he moved up the board.

Y/N takes the dice in her hand and blew gently, making Ben roll his eyes at her. He was beyond annoyed that she got a ladder almost every time she rolled. She rolled gently and hummed in satisfaction “five,” she whispers moving her piece. Her elbow hits the corner of the board shifting the pieces and making the dice shift.

“That was a four,” Ben corrects, looking down at the dice.

Y/N looks up from the board “No it was a five,” she responds sternly.

Ben clenches his fist and touches her piece, moving it down the ladder “You rolled a four.”

She growls and moves it back “Seriously? Are you calling me a liar?”

“Look at the board! You rolled a fucking four!” he complains loudly, not quite a shout as he was trying to keep his cool.

“The board moved, it was a five Ben! You’re losing get the fuck over it.” she matches his tone. The kids look at each other sympathetically as their parents start to argue, their voices slowly starting to get louder with each insult. James looks around to see other people starting to look at them.

“Dad,” he says, pushing his leg to get his attention. The adults rise to their feet and start to get in each other face, their words getting louder, still talking about the board game.

“Did you rig the game Y/N? There’s no fucking possible way you got a ladder every time?” he yells.

“Oh? Not only am I liar I’m a cheater! Want to check the dice for a magnet?”

“Maybe. I. Do.”

“Fuck off! You’re a sore loser.”

“Mom! Mom?”

“What!” Y/N shouts, the pair looking down at the kids who were looking up at them with angered faces. “You guys are embarrassing.”

They pause and look around at the few pair of eyes that were on them. They look away, embarrassed of their actions “Abby, let’s go. Say goodbye,” she speaks slowly, not daring to look at him. They all gathered their things swiftly and in silence. Abby said her sad goodbye to James before running off to catch up to Y/N who had already started to walk away.

“I can’t believe you,” James huffed.

“I didn’t start it, and you had fun right?”

“Whatever, Dad.” James puts on his backpack and walks towards the parking lot leaving Ben alone in his thoughts. He pushed back his blonde curls and slung his bag over his shoulder, already rehearsing an apology.

Y/N threw the bag in her truck and slammed the door harshly, she growled when she saw Ben’s remorseful face in the dark reflection. “Came to yell at me more?” She asks, not turning to look at him.

“I came to say I’m sorry, I didn’t mean t-”

“Stop. You knew exactly what you were doing,” she holds a finger up before crossing her arms over her chest. Ben shoves his hands in his pockets and looks up briefly.

“I’m sorry, let me make it up to you…and Abby. We ruined their playdate.”

“And how do possibly expect to do that?” she sighs, leaning against the car.

Ben puts on a smile “Let me take you out.”

“On a date?” She raises an eyebrow. Unbelievable, she couldn’t believe he was standing in front of her after picking a fight in public and now asking for a date. Pathetic. She was pathetic for wanting to say yes. She knew she shouldn’t, it would be a disaster. “Ben. We shouldn’t, we can’t even get along in front of our kids without fighting,” she pointed out the obvious.

“I know! I know. Just dinner to say I’m sorry for making fools of us. You won’t regret it.”  

Y/N thinks about it for a moment, free dinner. Maybe with food stuffed in their mouths, they could actually get along. Maybe there would be alcohol, god knows they were going to need it if they went through with it.

“What’s in it for Abby?” She smiles.

“We’ll bring her back ice cream,” he smiles back at her.

“I will go out with you Ben, just dinner.”

“Sounds perfect. Friday night?”

Y/N winces “I can’t. I promised to watch Mary to pay Lucy back after that night.”

Ben blushes and ducks his head “How about Saturday?” 

“Saturday sounds perfect.”   

She watches him walk back to his car with his returned confidence, she mentally kicked herself for saying yes so easily. Seriously fuck this guy for making her feel this way. She hated the fights but she did manage to get a date out of it. Fuck. 

Taglist is open!

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[lilith-lovett]

Found Families - Home is Where the Hart is - Chapter Ten

We have reached chapter number ten. I have recently realised this series is going to be quite long so I hope you keep enjoying this seemingly never-ending fic because we have a long way to go. Now this scene has been one a lot of people have been commenting about and I loved writing it despite how long it took me. So, I hope you enjoy it all as well. Thanks.

Masterlist

Summary: Logan finally meets Patton’s children. (And is an absolute savage while doing so)

Word Count: 5662

Warnings: Child abuse, past child abuse, past bad experiences with orphanages, anxiety, skipping meals, self-deprecation, description of bruises and injuries, self-harm (Logan intentionally silences himself by hurting himself I wasn’t sure what to labelled it as), murder mention, nightmare mention, panic attack mention. (If there are any I have missed please let me know).

It was another five days before Patton returned to the Orphanage, this time with his children in tow. He had called to arrange a session almost immediately after gaining Roman and Virgil’s approval, but not before calling Emile to tell him the good news. He spent his morning; coaxing Roman out of bed, urging Dee to change into anything other than his snake printed pyjamas and convincing Virgil that Logan wasn’t going to hate him. All before 9 am. When they did manage to actually get out of the front door and into the car, an awkward silence hung over the family. Roman - who had called shotgun - remained surprisingly quiet. Hart family car rides usually consisted of three things; the consistent tapping against Virgil’s phone screen, bickering over who controls the radio and Roman’s belting of show tunes. None of which were present.

Roman sat, leaning on one elbow, staring aimlessly out of the car window, watching the blurry colours and shapes fly by. While Virgil - who Patton watched through the rear view mirror - fiddled with galaxy printed fidget cube, gifted to him by Emile on his very first therapy session and had used regularly ever since. The rapid, repetitive clicking of buttons filled the thick, uncomfortable silence, as well as the soft music being emitted from the car radio.

“Hey, everything is going to be alright. If you feel uncomfortable or want to leave at any point, we will and try again another time,” Patton reassured, catching the attention of his children. “Nothing will change the fact that you all are my sons and I love you all very much,”.

“We know padre,” Roman said finally moving away from the window to flick through the radio stations before pausing on a upbeat, cheesy pop song, humming along with the tune.

“Jeez dad, sappy much,” Virgil groaned but the previously anxious fidgeting had settled somewhat.

“So, you are both okay with this?” Patton asked a hint of hesitation present in his voice.

“Yeah we are. Right Roman?” Virgil said leaning forward to rest his elbows on the back of Roman’s seat.

“Fine, fine. I promise I’ll try and be nice to the nerd,” Roman sighed sinking deeper into his seat. “But don’t expect me to like it,”.

Patton giggled and at long last the small bubble of anxiety which had been building within his chest had vanished completely, replaced by a flowering sensation of pride and unconditional love for his children. The jigsaw puzzle of his dreams were coming together piece by piece, nearing its completion and this was the final step in uniting his family. Patton could imagine another person sat in his well-loved, baby blue Ford Focus, engaging in passion-fuelled debates regarding everything from Disney movies to classic poetry, humming along to the radio, arguing over who controls the radio and filling the empty seat as well as the empty spot in the family.

“Alright kiddos, we’re here,” Patton announced, pulling up to the Orphanage, glancing out his window at the rather imposing building he would be glad never to see again.

Roman and Virgil had both gone silent, Patton had expected that. Neither had overall great experience with the orphanages and care homes they were in. Roman had been floating within the system since birth, remaining at the same orphanage for the first six years of his life until Patton arrived, where he was berated for his misbehaviours caused by his then undiagnosed ADHD, labelled as a misfit instead of gaining the attention he needed. While Virgil and Dee were constantly being transferred, jumping from home to home, never settling in one place for to long before being forced to pack up and leave again because of their complex situation and Virgil’s trauma. Orphanages brought up bad memories for them and as he entered, balancing Dee on his hip, he kept both close to his sides.

Mrs Davis, who at this point he had interacted with on several occasions was, as per usual sat at the front desk, typing away listlessly on her computer until she caught a glimpse of Patton herding his three children through the doors, eyes widening at the sight.

“Mr Hart, lovely to see you again. I wasn’t aware you were bringing guests,” Mrs Davis said her surprise evident in her tone.

“It nice to see you again too, and yes these are my children. I am bringing them to meet Logan today,” Patton explained in the quickest possible way, to avoid any further dilly-dallying as with the extra attention Virgil had already hidden himself entirely behind Patton’s leg.

“Children. Oh I didn’t know you had children, how precious. You and your wife must be busy with this lot,” Mrs Davis exclaimed her red shiny lips stretching into a sickly sweet smile, directed towards Dee who burrowed his face into Patton’s chest, concealing his burn scar. Patton sighed internally, the conversation felt far to similar to the unpleasant one he shared with Madame Claire only a few short weeks ago.

“There is no wife, it is only me and my kiddo,” Patton reiterated for what felt like the hundredth time. “Now may I go and see Logan now?”.

“Ah yes, of course. He is waiting for you in your usual room,” Mrs Davis said attempting to and failing at hiding the shock painted across her features.

“Thank you,” He said with a smile as he took Virgil’s hand, preparing to make his way to his and Logan’s regular meeting room but a large and imposing figure stood in his way. Madame Claire.

“Mr Hart, a pleasure to see you again,” Madame Claire said completely blocking his path forward, forcing him to meet her gaze, her too wide smirk ever-present on her lips.

“Ah yes, you too. But I apologise we really do have to get going,” Patton said quickly hoping to escape the commanding matrons presence as politely as possible, though it was a challenge to restrain the harsh words he did wish to speak to her, he persisted. Maintaining his smile throughout the interaction.

“Of course, do not let me keep you,” She said at long last stepping aside to allow Patton to pass and continue his journey to Logan without delay.

“Who was that?” Roman whispered once they were out of earshot or a ‘Roman whisper’ as Patton liked to refer to them, as they were considerably louder than a typical whisper.

“The owner and head-matron, she doesn’t like me very much,” Patton explained recalling their first interaction, secretly glad he hadn’t had any run-ins with her since then.

“Why?” Virgil asked cocking his head to one side, his too-long fringe flopping over his eyes with the movement.

“It’s…it’s a long story,” Patton said after some deliberation, definitely not wishing to tell his son what he actually thought about the woman. “Now, here we are,”.

As they arrived in front of the meeting room door Virgil’s grip tightened on his hand and Roman pressed into his side. Patton pushed open the door, revealing Logan who smiled the moment he sighted them and Patton prayed for this meeting to go well, bringing him one step closer to inviting Logan to join his family.

Logan had waited in anxious anticipation since he woke this morning, forgoing breakfast because of the anxiety-driven churning of his stomach and he did not trust his ability to keep food down. He had spent the greater majority of his morning spent in Maggie’s office, pacing - as per usual - relaying to her all of his fears and anxieties regarding the upcoming meeting with Patton’s children. Who he reminded himself that Patton spoke extremely highly of. She countered every single worry, claiming them to be cognitive distortions and the meeting would go fine if he would just be himself but Logan wasn’t so certain. He informed on several occasions he had a less than favourable personality. Too boring, spouting facts and information only he would ever find interesting. He was too aloof and robotic to connect with other children his age and that is what he was afraid of. Patton’s children finding him too dull and uninteresting, urging Patton to cease his visits and give up on him completely.

Logan found himself now, sat in his armchair, lessening the strain on his aching body. The bruises had faded over the weak from a vibrant purple to a muted yellow and sickly green with patches of brown predominantly covering the back of his calves, his lower back and dark rings around his wrists stretching up his arms. The persistent clicking of his shoulder joint had settled, the pain dulling to mild discomfort with any sudden movements and the shallows cuts had almost vanished completely. To conceal his injuries he had worn a long sleeve shirt, which had previously been owned by another orphan and considerably to large on him but the extra length allowed him to pull the sleeves down to cover his wrists and hands, ending just below his fingertips. His book ‘The Murder of Rodger Ackroyd’ sat in his lap, having had been returned to him by Maggie who retrieved it from Madame Claire’s office but he made no move to open it. Merely tracing the pads of his fingers along the binding and smooth cover as he watched the door, awaiting Patton’s arrival.

Logan did not have to wait long as a short while later he heard three sets of footsteps coming down the corridor and not but a moment later the door burst open, revealing four figures. Patton, his lips curled into their usual warm smile which he returned, in his arms he held a toddler who held a snake stuffed animal in his curled fist and two other boys stood on either side of him.

“Hiya Logan, I’m sorry it has been so long since I last saw you. And these are my children; Roman, Virgil and Declan but we all call him Dee,” Patton said gesturing to each of his sons as he spoke their names.

Roman, the eldest presumably as he was significantly taller than the others, stood on Patton’s right, arms folded across his chest. His appearance was considerably different than his siblings which made sense as Patton informed him they were adopted from separate orphanages, several years apart. He has a bronzed complexion, stiff auburn curls and bright emerald coloured eyes, visible even at this distance, accentuated with a splodge of colour on his upper lid. He was dressed casually and rather impractically in an all white outfit, white t-shirt and white tight fitting trousers, underneath a glossy red jacket embroidered with a yellow crown. From his body language and disinterested expression, Logan inferred Roman was not entirely pleased to be there, which only heightened the unease building within his stomach.

Virgil - Logan took note of the unusual name - stood on the opposite side of Patton, partially hidden behind him. He was substantially shorter than Roman, in his slouched over position, but stretched to his full height Logan assumed he would lie a few inches shorter than himself. He was pale, with straight jet black hair with a long fringe which partially concealed his eyes from view but from the small visible section, revealed sharp steel grey eyes and under his eyes were dark purple bruises - evidence of a poor sleep schedule. His outfit was a dramatic contrast to his brother’s, everything he wore was black; black t-shirt, black trousers and black shoes, expect from the purple patches sown onto his oversized black hoodie which drowned his thin frame. He wore black gloves indoor which Logan thought rather strange but considered the fact he may have poor circulation and used the gloves to keep his hands warm. Virgil appeared noticeably anxious, unlike Roman, by the way he curled into Patton’s side, hands fisted into his hoodie, attempting to hide their visible tremble.

The third Declan or Dee as Patton referred to him was balanced on Patton’s hip. He and Virgil were most similar in appearance, he remembered Patton telling him the two were biologically related which explained the similarities. He shared the same dark locks as Virgil but where Virgil’s were straight Dee had unruly curls which bounced with every movement but that was where the resemblance ended. A large burn scar on the right side of his face, across his right eye and stretching down his neck and presumably a lot lower, the sight startled Logan and the strangest of sensations built in his chest but he fought to not allow the shock to show on his face. He also had a heterochromia with one blue eye and one hazel eye, which sparkled as he glanced around the room at the wide variety of toys and games strewn around the room.

“Salutations Patton. And it is nice to meet you all,” Logan said attempting to conceal the slight waver in his voice.

Patton set Declan down, allowing him to run as fast as his chubby legs would carry him and play with the toys available, following behind him, silently urging Roman and Virgil towards the armchair.

“Ugh, what are we to do now?” Roman muttered underneath his breath.

“I suppose Patton wanted to allow us to break the figurative ice between us,” Logan explained as Roman rolled his eyes and Virgil remained silent, glancing between the two, fidgeting with a cube shaped object.

“You don’t have to say figuratively, I know what you mean,” Roman replied folding his arms across his chest.

“I believe I do, as there is no ice in the vicinity for me to break. Also because we reside in Florida it would be extremely improbable for there to be ice and I do not possess the strength to break ice,” Logan stated.

“Wow, you are such a nerd. Even your clothes are nerdy,” Roman said the mockery present in his tone. Logan glanced down at the outfit he wore almost every day. What was wrong with it?

“What is wrong with my clothes?” Logan challenged generally confused by Roman’s statement.

“I mean look at them, they are so nerdy. What are you wearing?” Roman taunted pointing towards his chest, at his too large shirt.

“I could ask you the same question,” Logan said the automatic response fell from his lips without a second thought and the entire room was silent. Until Virgil doubled over in uncontrollable laughter, releasing soft snorts, the first noise Logan had heard from him. Breaking the increasingly uncomfortable silence.

“I…I,” Roman gawked mouth opening then closing again, the rebuttal dying on his tongue, evidently not expecting Logan’s quick-witted response from his elongated silence. His face curled into a scowl and in one fluid motion he turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go and get him,” Patton called him, balancing Dee on his hip and following behind Roman leaving Logan and Virgil behind.

The adrenaline had faded as quickly as it arrived and his brain finally caught up with his mouth, as he realised what he had said. He slapped a hand across his treacherous mouth, digging his nails into his chest, relishing in the sting as he internally berated himself for his hurtful words. Roman hated him. Roman was Patton’s son. He had insulted Patton’s son. Patton was going to hate him now, he was going to realise talking to him was a mistake and he was never going to come and see him again. He was…

 Virgil had finally managed to compose himself, wiping the tears from his cheeks. Maybe this guy wasn’t such a stick in the mud after all and any one who could get Roman that frustrated was worth keeping around. Virgil glanced towards Logan, who had been unusually silent, when he noticed him with one hand clamped over his mouth, nails digging painfully into his skin. He was going to hurt himself at this rate.

“Hey, stop that. You’ll hurt yourself,” Virgil said tugging Logan hand away from his face, also breaking him out of the presumably negative mental spiral he was trapped in, leaving angry red indentures behind.

“I apologise, I did not mean to insult Roman. It just slipped out,” Logan explained lowering his head, tracing his fingers across the cover of the book in his lap.

“Don’t worry about it, he’ll get over it,” Virgil said with a shrug, hopping onto the armrest of Logan’s armchair, pulling out his phone to scroll through Tumblr. “Dude, that was a sick burn though,”.

“I’m afraid I do not understand, words cannot cause physical injury,” Logan said turning toward Virgil, cocking his head to one side in confusion.

“No, I mean you roasted him good,” Virgil reiterated. Jeez this guy was a nerd.

“A roast but there was no meat involved. Are you making fun of me because this is very different than I am used to,” Logan said with a furrowed brow. Oh no Logan thought he was bullying him, he was going to hate him now and all hope of becoming friends were going to be ruined because of him.

“No, no. I mean it was a good insult,” He explained praying Logan would understand and he could salvage what he almost destroyed.

“Oh, I believe I understand now,” Logan said after a moment of thought and Virgil released an internal sight of relief. He hadn’t ruined it completely. “Virgil, like the Roman poet,”.

“I guess,” Virgil said not knowing quite how else to respond. He didn’t like his name, it was weird and made him stick out, he couldn’t recall at time when someone didn’t comment on it.

A silence fell over the pair and alarm bells were set off in his mind. Nobody was speaking. Was he supposed to say something now? What would he say? Would Logan say something? Should he just say something? But what if he started speaking while Logan started speaking, leading them to speaking over each other and make everything even more awkward then they already were.

“Um Virgil…Does Patton hate me now,” Logan asked his voice low, barely a whisper. Virgil had to strain his hearing just to understand what he was saying. The question surprised Virgil, it was the sort of thing he thought on a daily basis but Patton had mentioned briefly that Logan had, had a difficult upbringing like himself. So maybe they were more alike the he originally thought.

“You could murder someone and Patton would never hate you,” Virgil stated with a chuckle, recalling the numerous times Uncle Emile repeated the same phrase to him whenever he doubted Patton’s love for him.

“I would never kill anyone,” Logan exclaimed Virgil burst out laughing once again at the look of horror on Logan’s face.

“It’s just an expression, besides me and Roman do it all the time. When we first met we hated each other, we were constantly at each others throats, calling each other mean nicknames and bickering over every little thing. I guess it was kind of how we bonded, through being mean to each other,” Virgil said reminiscing on the thousands of arguments shared between the two brothers, over the most random of topics.

“I thought you were supposed to be siblings?” Logan questioned.

“Yeah, that is just how most brothers are,” Virgil responded with a nonchalant shrug. “We aren’t as bad now, we tolerate each other more but he is still a pain in the neck,”.

Logan had gone quiet again, the uncomfortable silence weighted heavily of Virgil’s shoulders. He really hated silence so he did something entirely out of character he talked. He talked about anything and everything. He talked about his rocky relationship with Roman; every argument, their stupid nicknames, passion-fuelled debates about Disney movies. He talked about his own crappy orphanage experiences; the constant moving, the nagging matrons, finally meeting Patton for the very first time - which didn’t go very well. He talked about life living with Patton; the weekly movie nights, family dinners around the table, all of his dumb dad jokes. And Logan listened. Nodding along to his stories with a small smile on his face.

“So, this is a pretty decent place,” Virgil said glancing around the moderately sized meeting room, filled with toys, books, games and activities. It was much nicer than the orphanages he was placed in when he was younger.

“Oh, yes,” Logan mumbled shifting in his seat, wincing when he pressed to harshly on one spot. Virgil took notice of this as well as the dark rings around Logan’s wrists visible when his sleeve slipped down with a dramatic flick of the wrist, only to he hidden away a moment later. His heart seized at the sight of the bruises, of the well concealed wince of pain. It was a sight he knew well. Hiding pain behind a mask. Someone was hurting Logan.

“Virgil, are you alright?” Logan asked a hint of concern present in his voice and Virgil instantly snapped back to reality.

“Yeah sorry. So, what do you think of my dad?” Virgil asked quickly changing the subject.

“Patton has been an interesting test subject,” Logan replied lowering his head once again, focusing his attention back on his book which he hadn’t actually opened yet.

“Test subject?” Virgil inquired.

“Since meeting Patton, I have been studying his behaviours and attitudes to determine his motives and why he…,” Logan cut himself off abruptly as if he didn’t want to speak the last part.

“Why he what?” Virgil pressed.

“Choose me,” Logan admitted with a sigh, after a elongated silence. “There are numerous more suitable children than I. So, why did he choose me? I am still trying to figure out the answer,”.

“He probably thinks you need help,” Virgil said with a shrug. His dad was a fixer. He found broken people, took them in and fixed him, bringing them into his family or famILY as he liked to call it. Caring, it was what he was good at. Caring for those who society deemed unlovable.

“Did he help you?” Logan asked turning once again toward Virgil.

“Yeah, he did,” Virgil answered recalling the moments when his thoughts were too loud and he felt he was drowning in his own mind. When crippling nightmares took hold during his most vulnerable points and Patton stood by him. Holding him on the nights when his anxiety reared its ugly head, helping him through numerous panic attacks when he felt he might die.

Virgil thanked Patton everyday for adopting him and his brother, giving them a life they never would have received otherwise. Loving them both whole-heartedly despite Virgil’s messed up mental health. He couldn’t have asked for a better dad.

 It didn’t take Patton very long to locate Roman. He was sat in the foyer, his knees pulled in tight to his chest and his face was hidden in his hands. Patton adjusted his hold on Dee before approaching Roman who startled as he sat beside him.

“Dad, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I know I said I would be nice to Logan, I’m sorry. It just slipped out. I really tried. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry,” Roman frantically rambled, apologising again and again without pausing to take a breath.

Patton recognised this to be one of Roman’s regular spirals, where his brain was moving to quickly, forcing the flow of words out out him. At this rate, he would soon start hyperventilating. So, in order to break the cycle he placed Dee into Roman’s lap who playfully tapped on Roman’s cheeks, giving him something else to focus on rather than the spiralling thoughts in his head.

“I know, I know. I’m not mad sweetheart but I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that for me?” Patton asked softly placing on hand on Roman’s shoulder and the other he brushed through his hair, encouraging him to slow his breathing which he eventually did, his previously sharp breaths evening out and he slumped against Patton.

“I’m sorry,” Roman murmured into Patton’s chest. “I’m really sorry,”.

“Whatever for?” Patton asked stroking Roman’s hair as Dee busied himself with his toy snake.

“I was mean to Logan, I promised to be nice to him but I wasn’t,” Roman admitted burrowing his face deeper into Patton’s shirt, staining it with tears.

“Roman, look at me,” Patton said lifting Roman’s chin in order to meet his watery gaze. “While yes, what you said wasn’t very kind. You can still fix it can’t you, by apologising to Logan,”.

“You were frustrated because Logan didn’t understand your expression but that is just how some peoples brains work, it takes a little longer for them to figure out,” Patton explained brushing his thumb along Roman’s cheekbones, wiping away any fallen tears. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’m sure Logan is feeling the exact same way,”.

“You think so?” Roman asked lifting his head, scrubbing away the remainder of his tears.

“I know so,” Patton replied taking Dee from Roman, balancing him on his hip and extending his free hand towards Roman who took it bashfully, pulling himself to his feet. “Should we go back now?”.

“Yeah, okay,” Roman said refusing to let go of Patton’s hand as he lead him down the corridor, back to the meeting room.

Once they returned to the meeting room Patton was surprised to see Virgil perched on the arm rest of Logan’s arm chair, talking animatedly while Logan sat quietly listening, a small smile creeping onto his face. Patton almost teared up at the sight. He had never witnessed Virgil open up to anyone this quickly before, talking freely with such ease, his fidget cube sitting unused in his lap. Patton’s anxieties regarding his children’s opinions of Logan vanished in an instant, watching how easily Virgil and Logan had managed to connect in such a short time, he thought maybe his dream would come true much sooner than he expected.

“Go on,” Patton encouraged ruffling his hair before urging him forward as Logan and Virgil halted their conversation, taking notice of them standing in the doorway.

“Um Logan, what I said wasn’t very prince-like. So, I’m sorry,” Roman said fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket, looking anywhere else other than Logan’s eyes.

“Prince-like?” Logan inquired glancing at Virgil for an explanation.

“Roman used to think he was a prince,” Virgil stated with a shrug, shooting a smirk in Roman’s direction.

“I did not!” Roman spluttered, scowling, crossing his arms across with chest with a pout, face flushed with embarrassment. Patton chuckled at the exchanged. Roman was swiftly approaching his teenage years, preparing to leave his childhood between but Patton knew he would never entirely abandoned his love for the imaginary despite his stubborn assurances. “But, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said you were a nerd. Even though you are,”.

“You are forgiven,” Logan said obviously catching Roman off guard by the evident flinch. “I also feel I need to apologise,”.

“Why?” Roman questioned.

“I was also rude to you, I believe that warrants an apology. So, I am sorry,” Logan responded. Patton smiled at him, catching his eye over Roman’s shoulder.

“Uh…um…yeah whatever,” Roman stuttered before he turned swiftly, returning to Patton’s side by the door, a blush still present on his cheeks.

“Times almost up kiddos. Do you mind if I have a little chat with Logan before we leave?” Patton asked handing Dee over to Virgil once he had hopped off his perch, holding his brother securely in his arms and walking toward the exit where Roman was still stood.

“Virgil wait!” Logan called out to Virgil, holding out a small cube-shaped object the the palm of his hand. Virgil’s fidget cube. “You dropped this,”.

“Keep it, I have loads at home,” Virgil said with a shy smile. Logan merely nodded, curling his fingers around his star-printed cube, thumbing over each individual side.

“Okay kiddos, go wait in the foyer. I’ll only be a minute,” Patton said.

After Virgil and Dee said their goodbyes to Logan, Roman simply gave him a curt nod, before they disappeared down the corridors. Patton approached the armchair where Logan sat, kneeling in front of it, Logan was still smiling at the fidget toy in his hand, presumably admiring the pattern. It was of space - this favourite subject - after-all.

“I’m guessing you got along well with Virgil then,” Patton said smiling warmly at Logan who jolted back to reality as Patton spoke.

“Yes, he shared many interesting stories with me,” Logan replied eyes brighter than they had been when Patton arrived. It was rare for Virgil to talk to anyone outside of the family but it seemed Logan was an exception to that rule.

“He is a good kid, they all are. And they have been through so much and…and I-I am just so p-proud of them,” Patton sniffled his eyes stung with tears but he fought against them, so not to alarm Logan but his efforts were all for naught as the waterworks began to flow.

 The moment Logan saw the tears spill from Patton’s eyes and rolled down his cheeks, his brain went into hyper-drive, flashing through all of the possible reasons for Patton’s sudden sadness. What had brought on such a reaction? Was it Logan’s doing? The sight made Logan’s heart hurt in a way he had never experienced before, seeing Patton sad it wasn’t a sight he ever wanted to see again. Logan wanted to make it better but he didn’t know how to comfort someone. Would Patton respond the physical reassurance or verbal? Would be wanted to be touched or would be prefer to be left alone. Logan didn’t know. He hated not knowing. But then he had an idea, he had witnessed and been the recipient of Patton’s comforting tactics. Maybe Patton would appreciate the same treatment.

“Um…there, there,” Logan said extending his hand, sinking it into Patton’s unruly curls, moving his hand back and forth like he had witnessed Patton do for both Roman and Virgil during their own moments of upset. But Logan had to admit he was a little surprised when Patton burst into a fit of giggles.

“Aw Logan, you’re so sweet. Don’t worry, I’m not sad,” Patton said with a smile despite the tears and Logan was momentarily confused.

“But you are crying,” Logan said gesturing to the tears tracks staining Patton’s cheeks who quickly wiped them away but the smile remained.

“They were happy tears,” Patton announced with a giggle. Logan had never made the connection between the function of crying with any other emotion other than sadness, he had never known crying to be anything other than a sign of weakness but Patton expressed all of his emotions good or bad without shame or humiliation. It reinforced his theory that Patton was a rather confusing person but one he wished to understand and to be around, though he hadn’t quite figured out an exact reason why. But he liked it.

And maybe, just maybe emotions weren’t such a bad thing.

Notes: Logan’s reaction to insulting Roman would be the exact same as mine if I was ever in a confrontation. Saying something which could be considered mean and immediately regretting it. A reminder, yes Virgil is actually ten. Yes he is very mature for his age. If anyone says anything about it you can fight me (just kidding, please don’t I’m soft).

Tag list: @i-do-not-dislike-fudge @poems-art-darkness-n-more @alex-cain @amber1594 @darkrainbow333 @falseh0od @lovingcreatorstrawberry @mason-does-a-thing @callboxkat @tacohippy56900 @anxiousangel121 @comicsimpson @harrypotternerdprincess @cobythinks @whatschooldoesntteachyou @fandomkitty8 @coloursintheblur @read-write-inspire-repeat

If you would like to be added to the tag list or have a question about the series please do not hesitate to ask. My asks are open.

#sander sides #sander sides au #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #Adoption AU #Logic sanders #Morality sanders #creativity sanders #anxiety sanders #thomas sanders #found families #home is where the hart is #My writing #My fic #original characters

[punkcupcakestyles]

Love Song

5

“Of course it does. I’m fucking cute.”

“You are. And I really want to kiss you right now.”

“But you can’t.”

“I can’t.”

Catch up!

I had messed up, I knew that much, or at least a part of me, the smart one, knew it. The other part was reeling in excitement, a smile plastered on my face as I kept replaying the kiss in my head.

God, that kiss.

I could remember every second of it, the sweetness of his lips, and the eagerness of his touch as he explored, with nails scraping lightly on my skin as his fingers dug on the curves of my body.

We had kissed until our lips were swollen and there was no more air in our lungs.

"Sorry," He had chuckled as he broke the kiss, pulling away just enough to look at me. His fingers were caressing down my arms, so softly that a million goosebumps rose at his wake, and I couldn't help but let out a shaky breath. His lips were as purple as mine, swollen with the kisses we had shared, and his cheeks were pink flushed, giving him a boyish look that only added to his already ridiculous charm.

"S'okay," I whispered, the warm fuzziness of the kiss still buzzing on my kiss. I could feel it on my chest, as my heart thumped in somewhat joy and somewhat guilt. It made my fingers prickle and my brain to jump from one memory to the other, still uncertain that it hadn't been just a fickle of its active imagination. Real or just my imagination, I was never going to have a kiss like that again.

But then again, it hadn't been just a kiss, it was a moment of complete abandon, one where I had let curiosity win the battle, and allowed myself to go far beyond from where I was supposed to go.

I wished I had kissed him a little more, with those butterfly kisses you see in the movies, with my hands cupping his face and his own fingers tangled in my hair. It would've been a lot nicer that way. But instead, I had untangled myself from him and went to sit right by his side, my fingers slipping from his as he allowed me to go.

It was easier to breathe that way, easier to think too, without the temptation of his cherry lips so close to me. I smiled shyly and my fingers knotted in my hair,  bringing it behind my ear, in a clumsy attempt to give myself something to do.

"What I said earlier was true, y'know?" Harry finally said, breaking the air that was filled with tense electricity, the same one that was bubbling in my tummy and prickling on the tip of my fingers. His words made me look at him, deep into his eyes this time, and to notice the curiosity that was burning in them. "I can play by your rules."

"I thought what you said earlier was that we could be friends."

"That too. I'd really like that too. I just...I just got a feeling they're important to you." His smile was sincere and shy, his little dimples popping out on his face as he cast down his gaze. What was I supposed to say, anyway?

"So, no more kisses?"

"We can figure that out." His smirk grew and I realized just how stupidly easy it was for him to jump from a sweet boy to the dashing man he actually was. He rolled his bottom lip into his mouth and leaned just a little bit, enough so his breath fanned over my skin and I could smell his cologne. "We just need to behave," he whispered, a secret for both of us to keep and break.

"I behave, Styles," I whispered back. "Maybe you should be the one to stop smirking and...kissing me."

"I'll try my best. Can't promise anything, though."

"You're an idiot," I giggled for a second, before inhaling deeply as I licked my lips. For the first time that night, I failed to look him in the eyes. "It's not about sex, you'know?" It wasn't. I had no idea what it was about, though. I just needed those rules, that security, that sense of control, the idea of being in charge of something, of anything, really.

"You don't have to explain why they're important, Sof, I just know that they are. That's enough, innit?" He said, and the sincerity in his voice made me smile, and look at him as his fingertips brushed lightly over my hand, a simple touch meant to reassure me. "What?"

"Haven't met many guys like you, Harry," I said. "I still can't figure out if that's a good thing."

"It's a sad thing for sure."

"It is," I chuckled, even if there was not much to laugh about. His lips were sweet and soft when they met mine in a quick kiss, fingers cupping gingerly around my face as he pulled me closer. Just a second, not long enough to get lost in him, but able to make my breath hitch.

"That was the last one," he whispered as he broke the kiss.

"You promise?"

"I can't," he smirked in response. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Now? It's almost day!"

"I know, but I, uh, I need a minute alone. Or maybe two," he replied bashfully, and it took me a couple of seconds to realize what he meant. When I did, I looked away from him, so I could hide the flush on my cheeks.

"Go."

15 minutes had gone by and Harry still hadn't come out of the bathroom. Time was my enemy, really, cause it gave me the opportunity to think, to dwell on the awkwardness and regret the things that didn't happen, and the ones that weren't going to happen. The more I thought, the more nervous I got, dry mouth and thumping heart.

The shower finally stopped running and I could hear Harry as he rummaged through the bathroom, getting ready to come out. I closed my eyes and let myself slid into the covers, pretending to be asleep when I heard the door open. A sigh echoed in the air, a couple of steps and a door closing again. The lights were off and I was alone in bed.

Harry had left.

***

@D

- INFO YOU NEED TO KNOW -

Name of the show: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Host: Jimmy Fallon

Time slot: 11:35/10:35 C

Location: New York

Who will be featured with you?: Saoirse Ronan and John Legend.

Sketches: You’ll be participating on either Box of Lies (he’ll give you an object and you either lie your ass off or tell the truth about it, while he tries to guess); Dance Battle (there is a dance move generator); or Egg Russian Roulette (literally, you’ll be cracking eggs over your head).

@D

You’re gonna be wearing an Elie Saab black dress with a plunging neckline (it’s already picked, Midge loved it). We would very much rather if you didn’t play the Egg Russian Roulette. We’ll see what we can do.

@D

Jimmy Fallon laughs a lot. Try to ignore that.

@D

If asked about Harry, divert. We’re still not talking about it.

@D

We’ll leave to New York at 3. Be early.

@D

I left a new script at your place this morning. I would like to touch basis with you on the plane, see if it’s anything that interests us. (I wonder where you were 🤔)

@D

We’re having dinner with Harry and his friends tonight. We’ll be arriving at the hotel at around 9ish, so you won’t have a lot of time to get ready. I left a couple of outfit options as well.

@D

BTW, we need to talk.

***

Maybe I could still make it. After all, it was only 12:15, which left me a little less than 3 hours to go home, take a shower, pack, and get across town to board the flight.

I wasn’t going to make it.

Diana was gonna kill me.

I was dashing through the room, picking and piling the few things that belonged to me onto the bed, and sighing in desperation when I realized they would simply not fit into the ridiculously tiny purse I had with me.

There was no way I was putting on the dress I had the night before, I wasn’t looking forward to being seen on it as I left Harry’s house, or to have my picture taken as I did what it would look like a “walk of shame”. Instead, I had decided to keep on Harry’s clothes, even if his sweatpants felt tight around my ass and the upper part of my thighs. My hair was dangling dangerously from a top knot, threatening to fall apart if I moved too fast and my eyes were puffy from the lack of sleep.

God, let there be no paparazzi outside his home. I wasn’t photo-ready anyway.

“You look nice.” The voice startled me, making my heart jump before I turned hastily to look at him. There he was, leaning onto the door frame, as he wore a clean black t-shirt and black jeans, and he leaned onto the door frame.

Harry smiled in satisfaction at my reaction and slowly walked into the room. It was only then that I noticed the pink suitcase he was carrying, one that looked exactly like the one I used for short trips.

“Is that mine?” I asked him.

“Yeah. Diana called, asked if you were ready for the trip. I told her you were. Then I woke up Sam, called your sister and asked her to pack your stuff, and Sam went to get it,” he explained. “Perfect plan, innit?”

“Y-you talked to Cat?”

“Yeah...I know you said “no families”, but uh…”

“Thank you,” I replied softly before he could explain himself any further. He had saved my ass, after all.  

I realized I wanted to kiss him, lightly and sweetly. A tiny peck on his cheeks, or a quick kiss on his lips, anything to have him close once more, to feel his warmth, and get a chance to nuzzle my face in the crook of his neck. That was something I probably shouldn’t do.

Harry brought the suitcase over the bed and sat next to it. It was pink and soft, covered everywhere with the bright orange logo of the high-end brand. It had been the first stupid purchase I had ever made after I had made sure we had a roof over our heads, food on our table and Cat was enrolled in a private school, all expenses already paid for. My mom was slowly coming out of her haze and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe again. So I had bought it, a way to celebrate myself and the fact that we had peeked out of the darkness.

“What are you wearing?” Harry drawled, as I started to look for something to change into. My cheeks blushed, pink and hot, and I looked at him with a shy smile of my own.

“I, uh, didn’t want anyone to see me wearing the same clothes. I didn’t want the rumors.”

“So you decided to wear my clothes instead? That’s a great plan.”

“I didn’t think about that,” I smiled. I finally found a V-neck white tee, and a pair of light blue jeans that would be comfortable enough to travel in. “Where did you sleep?”

I wondered if the question had come off accusingly, or if it was as casual and carefree as I had intended it to be. Either way, I realized I shouldn’t have asked it.

“A guest room...”

“Oh.”

“I figured you wanted space. Didn’t you?”

I nodded in response, which was easier than to say what I was really thinking. Like it would’ve been nice for him to stay, or that his bed was too damn big for just one person.

I didn’t know if he quite believed me, a curious glint burning in his eyes as he looked at me. If he didn’t, he didn’t say anything, but licked his lips and remained silent as he let himself fall back on the bed. It shifted under his weight, and I smiled at him when he looked up.

“We should get our story straight, y’know?” He said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we should know our story, especially if we’re meeting my friends tonight.”

“Just tell’em the truth, Harry.”

“I really don’t wanna do that,” Harry chuckled, shaking his head as he went back to look at the ceiling. He clasped his hands over his tummy and pressed his lips together, deep in thought.

“Ok, how about this?” I put my clothes down and climbed on the bed to lie by his side. “You saw me at a party, thought I was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, told Jeff that if he didn’t get my number you would burn down his house, and here we are!”

“That sounds like something that could happen,” he chuckled, turning to one side to face me. My smile widened as I looked at him and felt the soft tickles of his fingers as they snuck under my shirt. It was soft and sweet, meant to have me close to him and nothing else.

“Of course it does. I’m fucking cute.”

“You are. And I really want to kiss you right now.”

“But you can’t.”

“I can’t.”

***

I had made it.

I was sitting on the leather chair, with my knees against my chest, as the plane got ready to take off. Diana, Jeff, Harry and I were the only passengers, and the two boys were talking as Diana sat in front of me.

“You know there’s a lot of actors out there that don’t travel with their agent everywhere?” I asked the blonde girl, who rose her eyebrow as she offered me a smirk.

“Consider yourself lucky, then,” she replied.

“I do.”

“Did you have time to check the script?”

“No, sorry, I didn’t.” I felt myself blush in embarrassment, as I looked at the way she rolled her eyes at me.

“Good thing I got a copy. See? Having your agent by your side is pretty useful,” she handed me a thick script, with a handwritten note on the first page, and the title of the movie written in bold caps.

“Dear Midge,

I think this would be perfect for Sofia, and Sofia would be perfect for us. Audrey wouldn’t have been Audrey without Holly.

To our new Holly.

Kisses,

B.”

“Breakfast at Tiffany's?” I chuckled in disbelief. “Are you crazy? This is one of the most beloved characters in cinema’ history.”

“I know.” She replied simply, a sweet smile replacing the sly one from before. “And they want you. This is a great remake. They’re gonna play Holly’s bisexuality and Paul’s homosexuality, which obviously wasn’t featured in the original one, she’s gonna be an actual scort, even smoke weed. You’re gonna be the Holly that Truman Capote intended her to be.”

“I’m gonna murder Holly,” I sighed. The script fell on the coffee table between our seats, and I got up from my chair to walk to the back of the plane, where they had coffee and snacks ready for us.

“Let’s do this.” I heard Diana say as she followed behind. “Read the script and we can talk about it later. The role is yours if you want it.”

It was time for me to roll my eyes at her.

I poured coffee for both of us and leaned into the counter as she stood by my side. For a second, it looked as if she had something to say, but didn’t know how; her lips rolled into her mouth and her eyes cast over the red coffeemaker. The silence upon us was suffocating, even for just a few seconds, and I cleared my throat to call her attention to me.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Nothing. I just…” There were very few times where I had seen Diana struggle with words. Each time was scarier than the other. “I talked to your dad.”

“You what?” We were well out of earshot, but I still hissed my words under my breath. My heart felt as if it could stop at any second, racing fast and strong as Diana shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

“I, uh, he called, asked for you. I thought that, well, I’ve never heard you talk about him, so I decided to see him, find out what he wanted.”

“What did he want?”

“Nothing...He, uh, asked about you, about Cat, wanted to know you were ok. I  made sure he was as comfortable as he could, and that he was able to go back home.”

“You gave him money…”

It was actually a relief, to see her doubt for a second right before she nodded. He wasn’t after me, or Cat, or mom. I could live with that.

“Yeah, Yeah,” Diana continued. “He didn’t want to, though. But I, I wanted him to…”

“Get the hell out of L.A.? Thank you, me too.”

“Yes, but he had this crazy story, y’know? About how you left home. Pretty fucking away from the standard ‘She always wanted to be an actress and we let her move to a corrupt city when she was way too young, so she could shoot her shot’ one.”

“D…”

“I don’t wanna know, Sof. We just need to make sure this doesn’t come out.”

“Yeah.”

“And please, consider the movie. We need a second Oscar,” she said in a loud voice, while she took both of our cups in her hands and turned to go back to her seat. “Better yet, win that first Oscar!”

I stood where I was, leaning against the counter as I tried to imagine what my father had told Diana. It could’ve been anything, even the truth. I was unable to move or even breathe, so I just stared at the group of people that were sitting in front of me. Harry was laughing loudly at something Diana had just said, while she sat primly on her chair. His eyes were crinkled in laughter and he leaned forward as his arms hugged around his own tummy. They seemed happy, far from the darkness that was pressing down my chest and making everything seem distant and bleak.

“Excuse me, miss? I need you to sit down, we’re about to hit some turbulence,” the petite flight attendant told me. She had popped out of nowhere, and I stared at her for a second, wondering how much, if any, of our conversation she had heard. She smiled shyly at me, but still, her firm hand guided me to my seat, repeating her order to everyone so they would sit.

Harry sat next to me and looked at me in surprise as I took his hand in mine. “Are you scared of flying?” He asked and I replied with a swift nod of my head. I wasn’t, I just needed something to anchor me to reality. Closing my eyes, I leaned back onto the chair and tried to focus on the loud thumps of my heart, counting them as Harry began to rub soothing circles on my skin.

“It’s ok,” he whispered. “I’m right here.”

“We’ll fall together.”

“Literally.”

***

“So, let’s talk about sleeping arrangements,” Diana told me as the plane was landing.

I looked up from the script, which I had been reading during the whole flight, and quirked my eyebrow at her sheepish smile. Harry, whose head was resting on my shoulder as he slept, stirred just a bit in protest.

“What?”

“Well, Harry has an apartment in New York. We’re staying at a hotel in Tribeca and Harry would come and go as he pleases. Unless you want to stay in his apartment, he offered.”

“I’ll stay at the hotel.”

“That’s a good idea.” Diana smiled proudly.

Between landing and getting our things in the car, we arrived at the hotel at 9ish, just as Diana had predicted. What she hadn’t told me was the fact that there were going to be paparazzi waiting for me in front of the hotel. I glared at her as she offered me an apologetic smile, and without saying anything, she jumped out of the car, with Jeff following suit, to get our stuff.

Harry came out first and went to help Jeff carry our suitcases into the hotel. When it was my turn to come out, I just dashed to the entrance, getting into the hotel without answering or even acknowledging the insidious questions thrown my way. I wasn’t in the mood for them, or anyone really.

Diana and Jeff stayed at the lobby, while Harry and I got to the top floor of the hotel without saying a word. He stood right next to me during the whole ride, holding my suitcase on one and an overnight bag over his shoulder. His hair was disheveled, and his eyes were puffy, revealing just how little sleep we had had the night before He looked tired, and somehow still managed to be the most handsome boy I had seen that night, week, year.

“You ok?” He asked as the elevator opened its doors and we were met with a pristine corridor. The hotel, that mostly looked like a remodeled speakeasy bar, was spotless and modern, with high ceilings and trendy decoration.

“Yeah, I’m just tired.”

“Wanna skip tonight’s dinner?” He offered, waiting for me to open the door to the room.

“I’m sorry, yes, I’m not in the mood for people. Do you mind?”

“No, please, get some rest” he reassured me.

I hurried to turn the lights on as soon as we got in, revealing a luxurious room with black and white furniture and a huge window that looked over the Hudson River. There was a huge TV, and a couple of warm blue blankets over one of the couches, and a bar table with whiskey and champagne on it. A giant sliding door lead to a private rooftop, with chairs to take the sun.

“Harry…Could you stay with me? I don’t wanna be alone.”

#Harry Styles #Harry Styles smut #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry #harry writing #harry smut #hs #harry styles one shot #writing #fake dating

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Widomauk Week 2019

Day 3- Tarot

Coincidentally, also a modern au! Because thats just kind of what I like to write

(Discussion of sex)

The day had been one of those achingly rare ones, the ones that were empty of any work, any responsibilities, any duties. A day where Caleb had been entirely at his own mercy with no classes or papers due in anytime soon. Just a long, yawning day for him to fill with whatever he liked.

Not long ago, the idea of a day like that would have set his nerves jangling and shrieking like alarm bells. He’d once hated having nothing to do, nothing to keep his hands busy and his mind from straying to places he didn’t want it to go. A year ago, upon finding himself in a position like this, he would have either scavenged some classwork or studying to do, desperately clawing for an assigned purpose, or sunk into a depression that he might not have got himself out of for a week.

But things were different now, so different that Caleb had to wonder sometimes if he’d woken up as someone entirely new one day and just not realised it. Someone who smiled and slept more than three hours a night, someone who talked with others and only spent a few days with a roiling stomach ache brought on by anxiety. And even then, when he did feel like that, he would simply go and tell one of his friends and they would sit with him and help him remember that it would only ever be temporary.

And then one of his friends had become something more, something he’d truly never thought he’d ever have.

On his one, rare day off, Mollymauk had woken him well past sunrise with gentle kisses pressed to the nape of his neck and arms wrapping around his middle. Sleepy, gentle sex had followed without neither of them having to say a word, only giggling and trading a good morning back and forth once the two of them were panting, rumpled and sweating slightly. A late breakfast, kisses that tasted of chocolate and coffee on the threadbare second hand couch, a shared shower that went about the way you’d expect, a movie down at the theatre that neither of them particularly wanted to see but still managed to laugh all the way through by whispering comments to each other, all this went by with no effort at all. Not a single second did Caleb spend as prey to his own thoughts, worrying about things he should be doing or why there wasn’t anything he should be doing. The day was warm and bright for the verge of winter, Mollymauk’s hand was in his own and there was no reason to be afraid.

Now the long, warm day had turned into a chilly dusk that felt like it had no end, just a cool purple haze the two of them had sunken into like flies in amber. The thick curtains in Molly’s room kept out the worst of the cold that came along with the settling night while not losing the thick, orange light of the sunset. It made the whole room, with its deep purples and dark blues and gold highlighting, come to life with some strange ethereal warmth like they were in the sunset itself.

Caleb lay sprawled on Molly’s bed with one of his pillows propping up his chin. Every so often he’d bury his nose in it and inhale as deep as he possibly could, smelling his boyfriend’s cologne and the mango shampoo he’d been favouring lately and the lavender oil he rubbed onto his horns before bed. Just as Mollymauk was half a hundred colours, he was half a hundred scents as well and Caleb was determined to memorise them all.

Molly was sat on the floor, his battered old keyboard across his knees, scratching idly at the marker pen scrawling he’d done and redone over and over so he’d know which key was which note. His journal was open and some notes were scratched into it but they were the first few hesitant steps into unknown ground, nothing that was really at a good, solid run yet. He was picking some little riffs out here and there but most of it was a lot of frowning and scrawling in his books. Caleb knew Molly’s process by now, it would be a lot of this, a lot of huffing and fussing and smoking joints and melodrama until he worked the song out of his system. But Caleb always got the sense that Molly rather liked this part, he liked playing the tortured artist. And in the end the song would be wonderful, his usual mix of bittersweet and esoteric and otherworldly. . Molly just didn’t seem to remember that part right now.

“You need to take a break,” Caleb observed from the pillow.

“Why?” Molly craned his neck back to look at him upside down, “Because everything I’ve ever written sucks ass and my dreams of being a musician are completely futile?”

Caleb tried to hide the fact that the corners of his mouth were twitching upwards, “No. Don’t put your writer’s block’s words in my mouth.”

“It’s true,” Molly grumbled, turning back to the keyboard and walking his fingers across it to make a frustrated, discordant tune.

Caleb shuffled forward enough that he could kiss the top of Molly’s head. His hair had been getting very long lately, growing out of the undercut he used to keep it in. He’d spoken wistfully the other night of having hair right down to his waist.

“You’re trying to force it and it’s getting you all knotted up,” he observed sagely, “It’s like when I learn a new spell, happens every time. You get so frustrated when it doesn’t work after a hundred times but once you let go of that and turn away from it, it takes hold.”

Molly grunted, leaning back into his embrace, “Quit being so wise or you’re gonna make me admit you’re right.”

Caleb laughed at that, reaching down to bat the keyboard off his knees, “Come up here with me. A watched pot never boils and all that.”

“Sounds like a good way to burn my apartment down,” Molly hummed but he clambered up on his bed all the same.

For a little while all they did was enjoy their closeness, Molly’s hands on Caleb’s waist, Caleb’s face resting in the crook of Molly’s neck. He could remember a time when he’d flinch away from any kind of touch like this, like if anyone’s fingertips so much as brushed him, they’d see he wasn’t really there and the illusion would be broken. But since they’d found each other, he’d become a glutton for it, for feeling someone else’s hair tickling his nose, hearing a soft, gentle breath in his ear.

Until Molly broke apart, eyes shining in that way they did when he’d seized on a potentially wonderful, potentially destructive idea.

“Let’s play a card game to pass the time!”

Caleb tilted his head, “I kind of thought we were working our way towards a different activity…”

“Oh, we’ll fuck, don’t worry,” Molly laid a soothing hand on his boyfriend’s arm, “But this will make it even more fun!”

Caleb leaned back, curiosity sparked. Molly’s homebrewed card games were usually amazing and usually involved the revealing of scandalous secrets.

And after Molly had eagerly withdrawn his favourite tarot deck from his desk drawer and explained the rules, in a tone that made it sound like he was definitely making this up on the spot, Caleb saw that this one would be no different.

A question on the deck. Players withdrew two cards. Lower value card meant you had to answer the question. And from the way his red eyes narrowed and his tail lashed, Caleb knew the nature of those questions.

“Sounds fun,” he grinned, lying back on the pillows, letting the oversized shirt he was wearing ride up just a little. Two could play at that game.

“Nice easy one to start off with,” Molly declared, setting the cards, neatly shuffled, between them on Caleb’s discarded book like an island in the inky sea of his bedsheets, “Who was your first?”

Caleb snorted, “You already know that.”

“Hence why it’s easy,” Molly retorted, stretching out with an effortless laziness. He was wearing one of Caleb’s shirts as well, with boxer shorts that barely qualified as such given how small they were, showing off majority of his long tattooed legs.

“Okay, okay…”

Caleb drew the second card, Molly drew the sixth. He grinned wickedly as he showed off The Lovers.

“Appropriate,” Caleb smirked, “Alright. As you well know, my first was my roommate from boarding school when I was seventeen. Percy.”

“Come on, you can’t be that stingy with the details!”

Caleb huffed out a laugh, “There aren’t really that many! Pretty standard missionary under his blanket in bed, terrified the whole time that we’d get caught. It was the time after in the library that’s really good…”

“Wait, what?” Molly sat bolt upright, eyes shining, “Spill it!”

Caleb merely shrugged with exaggerated innocence, sliding his card back into the deck, “Not part of the question, is it?”

“Asshole!” Molly declared, surging forward into the next round with renewed eagerness, “Next question, where’s the wildest place you’ve ever had sex?”

“Don’t I ever get to pick the question?”

“I have decided no, on the grounds that you are an asshole.”

Caleb chortled when Molly drew the sixth and he drew the eighteenth.

The tiefling shrugged carelessly, “It’s fine. Weirdest place I’ve ever had sex…probably in the bathroom of the pizza place on Sixth street.”

Caleb had to splutter a little at that, “No way, really? And you go back there?”

“I never said I got caught,” Molly points out, wagging his finger, “And when the hot half elf you’re seeing takes you out dancing with a vibrating plug in you, you’ll have sex anywhere, believe me.”

“We are never going back there…”

“Why? It’s got the best pizza.”

They traded back and forth like this for a while, until their throats were raspy from laughing and their jaws sore from grinning. Caleb quickly realised his stories were never going to be as exciting or varied as Mollymauk’s but he did get to tell him the story of the time he sucked Percy’s dick in the book stacks of their school’s library. That had made Molly fidget and purr excitedly, pressing his thighs together as his ears picked up.

The two of them were teetering on the edge of scattering the cards to the floor and making a new story to tell later but Caleb was desperate to get at least one question in. Finally, Molly relented, admitting that the library study was good enough to earn him the right.

Caleb’s hand hovered over the deck, fingers twitching as he thought. What was the one thing he wanted to know more than anything?

Eventually what came out of his mouth was, “What does sex feel like? With the person you’re with now, I mean.”

Mollymauk blinked, his smile softening. He took a card gladly.

On the count of three, they turned them over and then burst out in bewildered laughter. They both held card number six. Though Caleb’s had a clearly different design from the other cards in the deck, they both held some image of two people entwined in each other, two sets of Lovers.

“This is what you get for having an addiction to buying tarot cards, I guess,” Molly shrugged helplessly.

“And for never keeping your stuff neat,” Caleb added, tucking some hair behind his ear, “You go first, though. Because it was my question.”

Molly nodded, thinking for a while, choosing his words carefully. He’d been fidgeting all the way through the game but now he was still, not even his tail twitching in its usual restless way. He looked out of the window as he thought, out into the nearly night.

The stars were coming out, one by one, finding their way through the sunset.

“Having sex with you feels like…it feels like I’ve finally found something I didn’t even know I was looking for. Something that was missing with everyone before. There’s just this piece of it finally in place, its whole, it’s complete…and that’s how I know you’re the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Caleb took a deep breath. He had to get through his answer quickly before he either burst into tears or pinned Mollymauk to the bed or both.

“Being with you makes me realise I deserve to be happy. Because you look at me and you touch me and you kiss me and…and even the parts of me that are small and sad and broken can’t deny how much you love me. And if that’s true then I must deserve it. I must deserve you.”

Molly’s hand had slid into his own after just a few words, holding tight like an anchor. Then it was his lips, as soon as the words left him. The pillows rushed up to meet them as Molly’s tail wrapped around his leg and his mouth found its way past the shirt he wore to the flushed, prickling skin underneath.

The cards fell to the floor, as unnoticed and unremarked as night finally taking hold outside. They forgot the game and left the points not noted, leaving their paper lovers to their own carefully inked embraces.  

It had been a very, very good day.

#widomaukweek2019 #widomauk #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #tarot #day 3 #modern au

[lonelypond]

Jingle Bell Jazz, Chapter 7

Love Live, NicoMaki, 2.3K, 7/?

Summary: And Bibi gets back to...business?

Chapter 7

Maki woke, shivering, heart still racing from the memory of Nico just off the tip of her nose, lips glistening like the frosting on a cake, eyes lit like stars with burning cores shining after the coldest midnights, whispers of songs or symphonies or…Maki shook herself. She’d fallen asleep with the sofa in sofa mode, not sleeper, and the blanket was on the floor. Too stiff. She stood, stretched, and started pacing. It felt so strange, now, alone in someone else’s home, not like it had earlier, when the rooms were full of Yazawas, rowdy and noisy. The opposite of what Maki was used to with her family, at her mansion, but this half a rowhouse was at the heart a big enough home for Nico and her family to fold Maki into. It had been a great feeling, especially on Christmas Day, but now, in the middle of the night, it had turned to a lonely one, with nothing familiar, and too too many pictures behind her eyes, some from the pin-up girl photo shoot, some still shots from the home movies of today, Nico vivid in the snow, playful, caring in the kitchen, teasing in the evening, emotions and thoughts flashing across her expressive face with quicksilver lightness, but bone deep weight. This was too small a room for this mood, Maki had already been back and forth across it more than a dozen times. At her house, Maki would be sitting at the piano, finding notes and chords, playing uncertainties into conclusions, hesitations into strategies. Maybe if she unpacked the bed from the sofa, her brain would catch the hint and drift into sleep, not race through every song she’d ever played with Nico, every touch, every near brush.

                                                     ###

The drive had been mostly silent. Nico was ready early, the goodbyes had been quick, and the roads clear. Ideal conditions for flying along at top speed and not thinking about anything, just enjoying the feel of the road.

Nico had been staring out the window, but shook herself out of the fugue, “Hey, kid.”

“I prefer genius.” Maki drawled, shooting for a "posh" tone.

Nico snickered, “Really.”

Maki frowned, refusing to take her eyes off the road, “Actually, as I have stated quite clearly before, I prefer my given name, but given your proclivity to ignore my requests, genius is the better of bad choices.”

Nico snapped her fingers. “Relax, Professor. Nico was just trying to ease the atmosphere. Maybe if you weren’t so stiff, being Nico’s backup wouldn’t be so hard.”

“Maybe if Nico had more respect for her backing musicians, I’d be more motivated.”

“HEY!” Nico yelled and it echoed in the car, Maki thought the roof might have flexed upwards, “Nico has a band, Bibi, not backing musicians. Nico respects Eli, Nico respects that you’re trying…”

“But?”

Silence. Maki was surprised. Nico was back to looking out the window, subdued again. “It’s not something Nico can afford to get used to.”

“So if you call me by my name, you’ll get attached?”

Nico shrugged, still looking out the window, “Why find out?”

Maki slammed her foot onto the accelerator, Nico’s words tearing into her, and the responses roaring at 100 miles per hour through her head not ones she wanted to hear resounding off the windows and echoing for the next half hour.

                                                                                  ###

Maki pulled up to Nico’s apartment. Nico hesitated before she opened the door. “Thanks for making sure I had Christmas with my family,” a pause, “Maki. Nico appreciates the thoughtfulness.”

Maki nodded as she prepared to shift gears. “You’re welcome.”

Nico tapped Maki's shoulder to get her attention. "Nico will see you at rehearsal. Wear something not boring.”

Maki whirled, looking Nico in the eye for the first time that day, and struck by the mischief glinting, “What?”

“Nozomi’s taking photos. We need to look good. Try not to....” Nico scratched her chin, “look too much like an actual school marm.”

Maki blew out exasperation, “I have style…”

“Yes, you have A style.” Nico confirmed, her tone sardonic, “But your style needs to be a closer riff off Eli’s and mine or you’ll be this off note for the audience. Nico knows these things.” Nico grinned, “Ask Kotori, she likes dressing pretty girls.”

Maki had a retort ready and then her brain tripped on Nico’s lips pursing around the phrase “pretty girls” in a near kiss.

“So see you later.” Nico opened the door, stepping out with a wave.

Maki kept staring, Nico laughed and slammed the door, jarring Maki back to street side. It was already a long day, And now Maki had to find an outfit.

                                                                                      ###

Maki, standing in her closet, was reviewing what she’d seen Nico wearing so far...and Eli. Eli was obviously going to channel bright and feminine, Nico would probably go for....pin up girl, Maki sighed, vowing to keep all her attention focused on her piano keys. But Nico, off stage, obviously liked casually mixing in menswear. Maybe something like that could work for Maki. Maybe she should be searching her father’s closet.

Maki was happy with what she’d come up with. A simple pencil skirt combined with an oxford with a purple stripe, a tweed vest, and a lilac tie with red highlights. She topped it off with a favorite dark gray fedora she’d never really gotten to wear much. Tugging her hat down over one eye, Maki walked into the rehearsal room with confidence that at least Nico would see she’d made an effort.

Nico had chosen a simple swing dress but in very now black and white checked pattern with a red sash at her waist. Eli was dressed in a short dark blue skirt, white tights, and a fluffy knitted pale blue top that piled nicely atop the curve of her bosom. Nozomi was dressed in capris and a turtleneck, her camera hanging around her neck, helping Eli with her hair, which Eli had let loose from its usual ponytail. Nico had a small hat clipped to the top of her head, with black netting piled around it. Her lips were a very vivid shade of red, matching the sash. And her eyes. Maki blinked, frozen for a moment, taking in details as Nico rushed her.

“Not bad…” Nico paused, lips twisted in a smirk that was as magnetic as true North to a compass, “genius.” Nico’s hands reached up, Maki started back, but recovered herself as Nico's fingers started to fumble at her tie.

“Hey.” Maki choked out.

“Don’t worry, Nico’s not a suspect on one of your detective shows. You just need to loosen up a little, longhair.” Nico eased the knot on Maki’s tie, and undid the button at her collar, a fingertip or two just grazing Maki’s throat with a tingling warmth, then her hand resting near Maki’s shoulder. Maki was at a complete loss for any kind of syllabic response, instead gaping and taking in air that smelled of the fruity musk she’d come to associate with Nico. What kind of perfume…

Nico waved her hand in front of Maki’s eyes, “Hey, genius, say something. Nico loosened your tie not tightened it.”

Maki nodded. Nozomi snorted and Nico turned to frown at her.

Which discouraged Nozomi not at all. “If you’re done petting the pretty pianist, Nico-chi, we can get started.”

Nico growled, Maki reran Nozomi’s sentence in her head and stared at the photographer, who winked. Maki decided that that was a good moment to warm up on the piano.

                                                                               ###

Why wasn’t Nico looking at her, Maki found herself thinking. This wasn't how they worked. The breakthrough rehearsal in her music room, she and Nico had clicked, started to communicate, there had been a link between them, one that let Maki sense what the dynamo would do, which way she’d make the song veer, would her voice drop into the sensual range that had pricked up the hairs on Maki’s neck, or would Nico’s pace take them on bop that would have every audience member tapping their feet and reaching for a dance partner. Nico had been alert to Maki's every impulse and Maki could sense Nico's every intent. But today, Nico was focused on the camera and posing and leaning into Nozomi’s range, sliding across seats with a simmer in her eyes, perching on window sills, circling her heels, Maki, just a spectator pounding out a rhythm that Nico skated over indiscriminately. Maki noticed a twitch in Nico’s shoulders when the her piano slowed or scattered an obvious transition, but Nico's main concern was Nozomi and camera angles, not music. Eli, presumably used to the attention from her...friend, was relaxed and happy, merrily musically adventuring in a sunbeam that gave her a glow while Maki plugged painfully away behind a piano, fedora forgotten and hanging off the music holder in front of her, any gleam of playfulness dissipated by the tediousness of keeping Nico in time.

“Let’s get all three of you in the same shot.” Nozomi decided, letting the camera hang down from her neck and pushing Eli toward the piano. “Nico, why don’t you…”

Before Nozomi could finish her sentence, Nico had angled behind Maki, sliding her arms around Maki’s shoulders, “Got it. Nico knows what looks good.”

“Yes, yes, you do.” Nozomi raised the camera and clicked almost as rapidly as Maki’s blood pressure rose, Nico’s hair flying loose and tickling her ear, Nico’s breath a warm brush against her cheek.

“Is this a good angle?” Nico asked, “Play something so I can sing, Maki.”

Maki’s thoughts were pinballing frantically, trying desperately to sort whatever Nico was saying into some comprehensible order. Hadn’t Nico loosened her tie, Maki thought. Should breathing be this difficult? Why did Nico’s arms feel like so much lead?

Nico decided to make it worse. She leaned even further into Maki’s shoulder, reached down to grasp Maki’s wrist, moving the pianist’s hand to the keyboard. Nico then suggested, in a tone she surely thought would sway her one person audience, “Nico’s seen you do it. You just put this hand he…”

Maki stood, urgently, as if the bench had caught fire, pushed it back, forcing Nico to dodge out of the way.

“Don’t touch me.” Maki was now at the center of the room, glaring around her as fiercely as a hissing, cornered animal.

“Did Nico startle you?”

Maki shook her head emphatically, her curls bouncing freely, “I am here to play music.” She pointed to Nozomi, finger trembling, “Not be part of your collective pin up fantasy.”

Nozomi snorted, Nico looked confused as she repeated Maki’s words, “Pin up fantasy?” The diminutive diva came out from behind the piano. “Sure Nico looks great, but this is…” Maki was still giving off a dangerously trapped vibe but Nico's momentum was picking up, “This is a professional photo shoot. For publicity photos. Nozomi always takes them.” As Nico continued, she got more animated, arms windmilling, voice reaching shrill near shout, “Publicity photos the venue requested.”

Nozomi and Eli had both fallen back to the windowsill, watching with concern as Nico literally backed Maki into a corner, “What do you know about being a professional? Artists probably take a year to paint a fancy portrait in your fancy mansion. Photos are the future, Beethoven. Pay attention.”

Maki leaned down, nose to nose with Nico. “I know about photographs…I take…” Maki raised her hands, exasperated or furious, it was a coin toss. “You know what, never mind. Your professional future is no business of mine.” Maki grabbed her coat, “So please call me when you want to get back to musical rehearsals, Miss Yazawa, so I can be done with this...this…” Maki couldn’t think of a word scathing enough and let the door slam provide punctuation.

The three women left behind let the echoes fall away.

“Damn.” Nico dropped onto the chaise.

“I thought you said your trip went well.” Eli said as she and Nozomi slid into chairs near Nico.

“I did.” Nico sounded uncharacteristically thoughtful.

“Oh.” Eli had no insight to offer.

Nico watched the door, face scrunched as she considered options. Then she rubbed her forehead with a sigh, “We’ll give her a chance to cool off, then I’ll go apologize for…” Nico paused, sounding uncertain, “something.”

Nozomi offered a theory. “Maybe she just didn’t like being startled. She seems pretty uptight.”

Nozomi and Eli could barely hear Nico's mutter, “Maybe that’s why she’s friends with Umi. They can avoid physical contact together.”

“Some of us can’t do that.” Nozomi wrapped Eli in a hug, smacking a kiss on her cheek, and the blonde blushed, “because our girlfriends are just too cute.”

Nico rolled her eyes at her friends. “Go home if you’re going to do that. Professor Square will wig if she comes back. We need to get her back in the mix, so we can get solid for the concert.”

Eli leaned back into Nozomi, relaxing, “Let’s get Honoka and her crew to sit on a session. Having an audience might cut the personal tension. And we can see how much work we need to do.”

Nico bounced up. “I like that, Eli. You find Honoka, I’ll go apologize. Let’s set something up for tomorrow. They’re usually around before lunch, right?”

“I think so.”

“Nico will get Maki here at 10.”

A/N: This is a short chapter, but I wanted to get back into the writing swing. The last three weeks have been taken up with getting The Importance Of Being Earnest started, but rehearsals have started. My January's been cold; how's yours?

#nicomaki #Love Live #Jingle Bell Jazz #music #jazz #Nishikino Maki #yazawa nico #ayase eli #Bibi #Tojo Nozomi #Christmas #holiday #etc

[mercutioswriting]

WIP1; Pt. 5

“When? Where? Why?” Bee demanded, louder than he’d meant to. His hands hit the granite counter and everyone flinched.

             “Did he…” Peyton spoke gently, worry creasing her forehead, but Jazz quickly shook their head.

             “No, I--” They reached out and took her hand, and whispered, “It wasn’t like that.” Peyton let out a long breath.

             “Jay, what the fuck,” Bee said, still too loud. He waved his hands around in frustration, ignoring how they stung from slamming onto the hard surface. “He-- You-- Why?”  

             Andy’s mouth was dry, but Bee’s incoherent speech got his thoughts across pretty well. He didn’t know the right name for his feelings. Angry? No. Upset? Not exactly. Confused? Very. Jazz covered their face again, but they weren’t crying.

            “I don’t want to talk about it,” they said. “Goddamnit, Bee, leave me alone.”

           Bee looked at Andy, who placed a hand on his arm. His words weren’t going to come out right, Andy knew, so he tried to communicate through his expression. Let it go, man. Too much right now. To his relief, Bee understood, and simply picked up his mug and took a drink.

            “I--” Peyton began hotly, but Andy reached out to her as well. He was good at nonverbal communication, but Bee was sometimes left wondering if it was Andy’s politeness or his looks that helped him get what he wanted. An inch of charm could bring him a mile, and Andy coasted. Peyton couldn’t resist anyone’s puppy-dog eyes, but Bee never gave in to them. Except for Andy. Had he ever tried it on Jazz? No, Andy never asked anything from them. At least, not that Bee knew of.

            “Let’s go see a movie,” Andy said, gathering the now-empty mugs.

            “We just got here,” Peyton said.

             “You’re pouting,” Bee said to her coolly.

             “I am not—”

            “Go to your girlfriend and make up with her,” said Jazz, waving her away in a move reminiscent of Bee. “Don’t take it out on us.”

            Peyton’s fair skin was rosy from the cold outside, but she flushed a deep pink at this. They were right. But she wouldn’t admit it. “Fine. See you later.” As she opened the door, she turned back to Andy. Her voice was quiet when she said, “Don’t let— Don’t let Jazz do anything stupid, Andy.”

           “I don’t control them,” he said. But she was already gone.

          They had spoken quietly, but Jazz and Bee could hear that Peyton had said something, and it wasn’t difficult to guess what. The music upstairs started back up. A girl— around thirteen, skinny, with straightened auburn hair— ran into the kitchen. Annie, Andy’s sister. She smiled at the two people she found in her kitchen as she gathered food for her friends upstairs, then awkwardly made her escape. They could hear her giggling with her friends hanging over the banister.

            “Does she still like you?” Jazz said without real interest.

            Bee rolled his brown eyes. “She’s a kid.”

            “That’s not an exclusive statement,” Jazz said. “She is young, though— do you know why the gap between them is so big?”

            “My parents had some issues after I was born,” Andy said, startling them. He’d come back in without them noticing, bringing a stream of cold air into the warm house. “They were thinking of adopting, actually, and then Annie happened.”

             “Can I—” Jazz’s phone rang, interrupting them. Unknown caller— they declined the call. It rang again. And again.

             “Might as well answer,” Andy said.

              “I’m blocking whoever it is.”

              But Jazz’s phone kept going off, enough that Bee pried it from their hands and answered the third strange number with a blunt “Hello.”

               “Can I speak to, uh, Jazz?” A boy’s voice said.

              “Who are you?”

               “Uh— Sorry, wrong number,” the boy said, and hung up. Bee raised his eyes to heaven and blocked the boy from Jazz’s phone before handing it back to them. As he let go, though, a text showed up.

                  Miss me?

                  Bee’s suspicions moved him before his conscious mind did— flipping the phone backwards in his hand, away from Jazz and closer to his own body.

                  “Hey!” Jazz complained, reaching for their phone.

                  “What is it?” Andy asked as Bee held the phone away from Jazz, pushing them back with one hand. “Dude, what’s going on?”

                 The text was from Albright.

                  “Give me back my phone, you— you— wasp,” Jazz said, infuriated. They crossed their arms as they sank back down on their heels. What was the point in wasting energy trying to get it back by force? Bee was at least half a foot taller than them, and Jazz was no athlete.

                  “Bee, give it back,” Andy said. He didn’t understand what was happening, but he suspected. Bee’s fingertips were tapping at the screen of Jazz’s phone, his other hand entwined in their purple hair. He looked up at Andy. A grin cut across his face.

                  “We’re all good, Andy-man,” he said. The stolen phone buzzed angrily, and he looked at the text as if it were his own correspondence. Taking his hand off of Jazz’s head as they swiped at his arm again, he said, “Relax, dude. No one you want to have to deal with.”

                  “Bee,” Andy said again, his voice rising, “Give it back.”

                  “Give it back!” Jazz said, their voice high with . That’s why they turned quiet when they fought, he realized. Rather than sputtering to a stop like Andy, Jazz chose to avoid hearing their voice become shrill. They hated having a higher pitched voice, although they’d never admit to disliking any part of themselves. “I can deal with whoever it is.”

                   “You can,” Bee said, smiling down at them. “But I do it better.” Jazz glared at him.

                   “Bee, don’t start fights on other people’s behalf,” Andy warned. He had risen from his seat. He no longer suspected— he knew. And whatever was between Bee and Albright, Jazz would get the worst of it.  

                    Bee hit send for the final time, the nasty grin on his face fading away to his customary bored look. He gave the phone back to Jazz and they scrambled to read the exchange. It was mostly Bee and Albright telling each other to fuck off in various creative ways, and Jazz had no wish to read any more into it. The hostility between Bee and Albright was its own entity, like a poisonous snake snuck into a locker room. No, not a snake— a bear. An angry bear fighting a swarm of hornets. Between Jazz and Albright, though, they struggled to put a name to. Bullying sounded childish. Bickering made it seem harmless. Perhaps it could simply be called a struggle. A complex, regret-ridden, prejudice-driven struggle.

                 Andy was part of none of this.

                                               __________

               “You should get home soon,” Andy said as he watched the snow fall outside his window. He was speaking to Jazz, who was sat in the center of his bedroom, flipping through a stolen photo album and cooing at pictures of Andy as a ginger-haired toddler. Bee lay on Andy’s bed, shoes kicked off to reveal mismatched winter socks, headphones firmly blocking out any conversation. Andy suspected he wasn’t even playing music. 

                Jazz made no reply, then sighed. “Time?”

                 “Quarter to six.”                

“Damn.”                 

“Bee? You coming?”               

Dark lashes fluttered, but his eyes didn’t open. He could have been faking being asleep— actually, he probably was faking— but the message was clear. Bee would remain as he was. The others could go.

                  Jazz’s parents would be waiting. They had to go.

                  Andy put on a black jacket before leaving, having learnt his lesson from earlier, only to realize halfway down the stairs it was Bee’s. Whatever. He wouldn’t care. Andy wondered if Jazz would notice.

                  They did, but they wouldn't comment.

                  Left behind, Bee was deeply asleep— but he wasn’t. He was lying on his back underneath a set of gym bleachers. The linoleum was gravel, because he was on a road. No, in a car. A car driving down a bright white hospital hallway. Bee stopped trying to understand where he was when he comprehended the weight on his face, a weight that was his arm— his arm was over his eyes and he was in a bed Andy’s bed because he was in Andy’s room and what was he doing there?

                  Being left behind. He withdrew his arm from his face and propped himself up, elbows sinking into the mattress as he looked around the sparsely decorated room. Did he take my jacket? Fucker. The thought crossed his mind that Andy might not have a proper winter jacket, but a glance into the half-open closet revealed the dark blue sleeve of a parka. Dark blue was nice on Andy, with his fair skin and richly colored hair, but then again, most people look nice in blue. Bee’s vision blurred momentarily as streams of color began flowing from behind the door. Dark blues and purples swirled across the room, blending with shadows and becoming translucent as the streams crossed the light. Sometimes red orange danced with the darkness.

                    “Monsters in the closet, or does my fashion sense offend you that much?”

                    Bee, sitting upright on Andy’s bed, scowled at him. He didn’t mind. Bee was usually scowling, when he wasn’t disinterested or smirking. “Both.”                    Andy shrugged off Bee’s jacket and tossed it at him from the doorway. There was melted snow on the shoulders. There were snowflakes in his hair. “Will you stay for dinner? My mom and dad are at some party with Annie, so I’ve got the house to myself.” The jacket fell to the floor.

                    “Let me check.” Bee texted his mother, knowing what the answer would be. Of course he would stay. Bee’s mother loved polite, put-together Andy, hoping he would be a good influence on her brusque, disheveled son. And if her reply was no, he would ignore it and stay anyway.  “Yeah. Who’s cooking?”

                   “Like I’d trust you with a stove,” Andy said, rolling his eyes despite the smile tugging at his lips. “Chinese?”

                   “Fine,” said Bee. He looked out the window, only darkness behind the glass. His foot had fallen asleep, and he had to spend a minute getting it in working order before he could get up. Jogging downstairs, Bee cursed his foot, his missing foot, his prosthetic foot, his underlying fear of nerve damage, and the entire concept of ‘pins and needles’.

                  When he came into the kitchen muttering, Andy scowled at him, pointing to the phone pressed to his ear. Right. He had that thing about talking to strangers. Andy let out a breath after he hung up, hopping up from his chair to turn on the television. “You choose a movie, I’ll make the popcorn.”                  “Popcorn before dinner?” Bee raised an eyebrow at him, flipping on more lights in the kitchen before taking the remote. “Jazz is right, we are influencing you. What’s next, not brushing your teeth twice a day? Forgetting to study for a test? Oh, I know— you’ll get yourself involved in drama. Go sleep with three different people, Andromachus.”

                  “Shut up and press play,” Andy said. Did he make that name up? Probably. Andy stayed far away from the ‘drama’ Bee abhorred so much, having little real involvement in other people’s relationships. He had none of his own, despite a few people showing interest over the years. He’d once asked Bee what he thought would happen if Andy did start dating. Bee had looked at him, face perfectly blank, and said, Don’t you dare leave me, you pretty boy bastard.

                     “Speaking of all that, do you think Charlie and Peyton made up?” Andy risked asking.

                  Bee shrugged. “If she needs something Charlie can’t or won’t give her, then it’s not going to work out. But she can’t be a control freak about everything. Charlie will come out when she’s ready. It’s a personal thing, even if it’s— I don’t know, objectively reasonable.”

                 Andy was startled at Bee’s smooth, succinct reply. He’d expected him to be annoyed at Andy for bringing up someone else’s conflict. “So like, if you were gay, you wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable telling people, even if you know they’ll take it okay?”

                   Bee shrugged, something twitching. Maybe his eye. He wasn’t looking at Andy. “I mean, you can never really predict what somebody will say, even if you think you know.”

                  Andy opened his mouth to ask another question, then closed it and nodded. Usually, he was the one analyzing people’s actions. It’s kind of nice to have someone else explain people to you, he thought. God knows we don't make much sense.

                 The doorbell rang. He went to answer it, apologizing to the delivery man for making him come out in the snow. When he opened the door, outdoors was icy cold, the air was clear, and it appeared the last snowfall would not be so terrible after all. The man assured him it was alright.

                Andy didn’t believe him, and guilt weighed him down as he brought the food to the living room. The boy already there had his hand on his leg, but shifted to sit normally when Andy came in. He sat down next to Bee, putting the bag on his lap and taking the remote to press Play. “Is your leg bothering you?” he said quietly. Facing forward, Bee shook his head. His face was half blue light, half shadow, the lashes framing his eyes and the curve of his nose and lips defined. His hair hung down, a spiral resting on his forehead like a jewel hanging from a diadem. Andy didn't believe him. Jazz, insisting they could handle Albright. The delivery man, ten feet away from his heated car. Andy never believed reassurances.

               But he had to let it go. 

#WIP1 #writing #teen angst #i have so forgotten how to tag this i need to update more often #but no one freakin reads it so why bother?? #mercutio writes #wip 1 #non binary character #disabled character #bullying #harassment

[the-fiction-witch]

Valentines: From

MOVIE: MAZE RUNNER  COUPLE: NEWT X READER RATING: SWEET + SMUT

Y/N POV:

I sat on the bench nibbling at my lunch just having my nice sandwich I got a little tap on my shoulder so I turned to see nothing know one there I heard a little sound on the table so I turned and saw a little thing wrapped in red tissue paper so I got it and it was a little chocolate with a note “Hello, Love From Your secret Admire” it made me giggle eating the sweet chocolate once I had my lunch I went back to work doing some gardening picking out strawberries and such as I finished planting a little cutting I looked up and spotting another little red present so I grabbed it and read the note “You Look cute when you work, Love from your secret admirer” it made me blush like crazy looking around trying to see if anyone was looking at me but know one was looking so I open it and it was another little chocolate so I happily ate it Once I was finished with work I went off to have a bath in the little swimming pond out towards the deadheads as soon as I stripped off and jumped in I felt so nice I ducked under the water for a moment to wet my hair and when I came back up there was another cute little red present on the side of the Pond I swam over and saw the note “For You Beautiful, Have fun Meet me tonight on the tower <3 Your secret admirer” It made me laugh I opened it and it was strange thing i was very puzzled and i accidentally dropped it in the water and it began fizzing like crazy turning the whole pond purple with glitter and little hearts floating in it it felt so nice on my skin to sweet and pretty Once I was done I got dressed and went up to the tower it was now dark the top of the tower where a bunch of candles everywhere and a little present on the tower it was a huge present it looked beautiful.

NEWT’S POV:

I sighed not wanting to get out of my hammock, till I felt a little tap on my head

“Uhh What?” I ask opening my eyes but know one was there but there was a little red present on me so I sat up having a read of it 

“You look cute today X From your secret admirer” it read making me laugh a little but kinda worried...I live in the glade...full of boys? I kinda hope it’s the one girl doing this and opening it Ohh a chocolate so i had it and went to the garden’s it is my day off sitting in the gardens on the grass while other’s worked I sighed laying back and almost falling asleep again till I felt someone tap me I turned and looking but know one so I sighed turning back but this way there was another little red present so I read the note “Sleepy Boy today newtie, Love From your secret admirer” It made me laugh opening at this was another chocolate so I happily ate it laying back on  the soft grass trying to sleep again I looked around and I could see know one really about to much except y/n across the way I smile at her and she smiles back blushing a little putting her head down to work once I has had a very long nap I went to dinner sitting on my own still kinda yawning a bit having to have a very long yawn when I opened my eyes another little present was sat on the table I looked around and there was know one even close so I read the little note “For you, Meet me tonight on the tower Love from your secret admirer” so I quickly opened it, it was another sweet little chocolate so I quickly ate it rushing off to the tower once I got up there I saw a huge present on the tower and candles and flowers everywhere and Y/n sat she turned and smiled as she saw me

“It was you?” she giggles

“What do you mean?” I ask her

“You where the one leaving me little presents?” she blushes

“ thought you where, You said to meet you here” I laugh showing her the note 

“But I thought you brought me here” she says very puzzled showing a note she also had same hand writing same everything “thats odd” she says a little worried sitting and getting the big present it had two little notes on it one saying Newt the other saying Y/n so we each got our own note 

“You two are perfect for each other its high time you both told each other how you feel” mine read

“what does your say?” I ask her and she handed me her’s and I handed her mine her’s said exactly the same 

“so...something you want to tell me?” she giggles blushing hard

“something you want to tell me?” I laugh both of us a little nervous before we met and kissed her lips so soft and heavenly why did I wait so long to kiss her...

Y/N POV:

when He kissed me my heart skipped a beat I was so happy he felt this way about me, why did we wait so long to meet and do this, so long I have had a crush on the cute British boy, to think I’m actually kissing him till we both pulled away

“How long?” I ask

“since I got you out the box” he smiles “what about you?” he asks

“since you got me out” I giggle shuffling close to him resting my head on his shoulder he smiles wrapping his arm around me we sat snuggling in the starlight for what felt like forever “Oh what was in the present?” I ask remembering we didn't open it so he got it sitting it between us and opening it up it was a box so newt opened it and quickly shut it again before I could even see inside “what?” i giggle

“I dont think you want to see” he laughs 

“Yes i do” I giggle opening it was full to the brim with condoms, regular, XXL, sensitive, warming, cooling, ribbed you name a condom it was in here “Oh god” I say in shock newt blushed digging though the huge mess of condoms and under them was something else a ring with some odd little bits “whats that?” i ask

“You dont wanna know” he laughs

“Yes I do newt tell me” I giggle

“Okay,, this goes like on ....lets say hypothetically if we where too....have sex” he blushed “it would go on my dick, and vibrate and make me super hard as fuck and also at the same time when i was inside you it would touch and vibrate on your clit” he explains

“How did someone even get that?” I ask

“I’m not sure I wanna know” he sighs so I put my hand in though the condoms and found something else a bottle of something it said WCKD on it so I was a little worried before he took it out my hand “Oh okay, this is like-” he begins

“Lube?” I ask “Just going on everything else in the box of smut” I laugh

“Not exactly It’s lube yeah but...its meant to like make us both more sensitive” He explains

“who the hell did all this?” i ask “Leading us here and doing this?” I ask

“I have a pretty educated guess” he sighs as I found a bit of folded paper at the bottom of the box it read 

“Happy Valentines day Ya Shanks, Have Fun ;) X thomas and Minho” 

“I hate those two sometimes” I laugh “Bloody Idiots” he sighs 

“Well I dont have any other plans tonight” I smirk

“Wait so you-” he begins getting a little excited and I just nod 

“My place?” I giggle grabbing the little ring and holding on the crotch of his trousers and having it vibrate 

“Uhhh!Okay!” He moans kissing me hard before we packed everything into the box climbed down with it and ran off to my room....

“Ummm Oh newt” I moan between his harsh lustful kisses as we laid on our sides in my bed his hands on my waist often running his fingertips across my skin mine tightly holding his vest and he threw his hoodie across the room a moment ago his little groans and grunts into our kiss getting deeper and louder the more we kissed “Newtie come on dont you wanna have sex with me” i giggle pulling away from kissing him letting him press soft tickely kisses on my neck 

“Oh I do, I do, I do Y/n” He groans between kisses pulling up my shirt and undoing my jeans pushing them down my legs so I push them of all the way with my feet and he smirks at me laying i bed in my underwear his eyes checking me out rather aggressively before his lips attached to my neck again his hands sliding up to un clip my bra which he did on the first try it hanging so loss only just covering my chest his hands quickly threw it away across the room his hands shyly stroking under my breasts before moving up taking hold fully of my tits one in each of his large hands “Uhh Oh God!” He moans sucking on my neck as he squeezed them gently I chuckled at his reaction smirking trying to pull up his vest and he smirks pulling away from my neck throwing off his vest and I smirked running my hands up and down his slender form and he smirked against my skin as I undid his pants and he pulled back looking at me “where really gonna do this?” he asks a little scared and I nod blushing a little pushing his pants down revealing his boxers and the large bulge there ever growing as we kiss before he sat up and smirked at me getting the box of stuff “you pick” he smirks so I giggle grabbing a sensitive condom and he got the other bits butting the box on the floor sitting up on top of me and smiling at me so I slip my panties off leaving me naked under him and he smirks his bulge growing even more as he saw me naked 

“come on newt” I giggle running my hands down from his shoulders down to his V very prominent now and he smirks giving me a little kiss as he slips off his boxers “SHUCKING HELL!” I laugh

“what?” he asks

“Its shucking huge newt” I laugh

“Really? I didn't think it was that big” he laughs “well, Its all yours sweetheart” he smirks kissing me before he sat up again putting the liquid stuff from the bottle on his cock and he shuddered his eyes rolling back a little “shuck thats good” he groans before slipping the condom on and putting a little liquid on the condom too “thats so you get some in there too” he smirks before putting the little ring on and smirking at me “You want to turn it on” he smirks and I nod sitting up a little pressing the little button turning it on I could see his cock get harder if that was possible as it started and the little sound of her vering a little funny to me “Okay I’m gonna have to fuck you else Im gonna cum” he groans before smirking down at me “a little for your cit too” he smirks putting some off the liquid just the amount still on his fingers on my clit it felt so good so cold but like it heightened me so much making my little clit feel like it was begging for his touch but I was no to get it as he slipped inside me “UHHH! Y/N Your...Your so tight baby” he smirks pushing so he was hilt deep inside me the little vibrator taking good care of my clit almost teasing it as my pussy stretched around newt huge cock he smirks leaning forward on top of me his elbows keeping him up as he gave my lips a sweet kiss before starting his slow thrusts but they didn't last very long as he was within seconds pounding into me hard and fast I moaned like crazy in reaction to every tiny thing he did to me he kept groaning and grunting almost angry getting frustrated trying to get to his release getting desperate for it I was getting close I felt myself nearing the edge till I felt his hand move down to the toy and turn it up one more speed sending me over the edge my orgasm rushing over me pleasure going everywhere like a wave from my pussy out to my brain and down to my toes making them curl in reaction my pussy clenching tight around him  even squirting on him a little as I grabbed him tightly screaming repeating his name like a prayer over and over as his thrusts kept going keeping me in the wonderful fuzzy visioned world of climax till I felt him shudder his hips bucking widely no rhythm like before as he grabbed me tight biting my shoulder hard I felt his eyes even water as he came collapsing on me “I love you so much” he moaned

“i love you too” I giggle between breaths till he pulled out of me it felt awful having him leave and he laid beside me in my bed resting his head on my tits as he breathed “are you okay?” I ask

“Yeah...Yeah....just uh...a bit....tried” he groans 

“aww poor newtie, maybe we do more tomorrow?” I giggle giving his head a kiss and playing with his soft hair

“Okay” He smirks giving my breast a kiss where he was

“Knock knock” a little voice laughs on the other side of the room I looked around my room a moment things knocked over newt’s clothes all over my floor and a few things from under my bed now out in the middle of the floor my bra somehow got hung over the door handle on this side 

“yeah?” I ask

“Hi guys” minho smirks opening my door along with thomas “Whoa! it worked” he smirked as he saw me and newt in bed 

“Oh god, the sex smell is so strong its making my eyes water” Thomas complained 

“why did you guys do this?” I ask as newt snuggled closer to em almost asleep

“because you two needed to get together and if we had to trick you into admitting it then we did, arnt you happy it worked ?” Minho smirked

and I just looked at my mostly wrecked room, my naked body under the covers off my bed and a naked newt cuddling into my side “Yeah I am” i giggle hugging him tightly and he kissed me our kiss deepening like crazy still a little horny 

“dont you guys wanna know how we did it?” thomas asks

“Dont know and dont care” Newt answers between kisses “Guys shuck off” he told them pulling me close to him 

“why?” Minho smirked

“cause Its valentines day and oddly enough I wanna have fun with my girlfriend” he smirks so they happily left letting us get back to our sweet little cuddle 

“so you wanna fool around again” I giggle 

“Late sweetheart, I need a nap after destroying your pussy” he smirks kissing me so I happily kissed him back cuddling closer and we happily feel asleep.

#TMR #tmr au #tmr newt #tmr newt imagine #tmr newt au #tmr newt smut #tmr newt imagines #tmr smut #tmr smut imagines #tmr smutty #tmr smut imagine #the maze runner #tmr imagines #tmr imagine #tmr imagine au #the maze runner au #the maze runner imagines #the maze runner smut #the maze runner imagine #the maze runner XXX #smut #maze runner series #Maze Runner #maze runner newt #maze runner images #newt #newt imagine #newt imagines #newt smut #newt smut au

[bangtan-spells]

Hoseok Scenario: Cosmic Love.

Request: I wanted to request a romance scenario with Hoseok where he is an astronaut and you are an alien who ended up on his spaceship? Maybe you could have some cute moments with him explaining about Earth to you, showing you different objects from earth? And you end up having a special connection or something? Thank you so much for all your hard work 💖💖💖             

Genre: Fluff

Curiosity was a fickle thing, you had a lot of it and had experienced almost everything there was to experience. You knew the atmosphere around you like the palm of your hand, you had explored uncounted galaxies and meteorites, you had spotted every constellation there was to be on your sight and you’d thought yourself very well versed in the mysteries of the galaxy until you saw him, coming out of nowhere in that device you couldn’t put a name to, floating weirdly on the surface until he dared to step on your planet. You’d thought him some kind of machine, enveloped on that weird white layer all over, with that roundish head that reflected oddly the light the same way you’d seen some rocks of your planet do.

You’d observed him from afar, noticing the similarities of his body, he seemed to have legs like you and arms too, but he looked a bit stiff moving, slow and most importantly, he seemed to be exploring, the same way you so liked to do. You’d stayed hidden from his sight for as long as he stayed in your planet, he didn’t really see much, your people could hide themselves and whatever else they wanted very well. You wondered what was he looking for, if he was looking for something specific at all, if he just like you, wanted to know more than he already did.

Smiling to yourself you came a little closer but not much, just enough to inspect him more carefully, you’d never seen something or someone like him. Where you lived people weren’t white, your skin was a deep purple with variations of lighter and deeper, you had lighter purple dots around the edges of your forehead, a common color trait in your family while your friend’s were almost black.

You also had arms and legs but you moved gracefully on the surface, nothing like the way he moved, with little tiny jumps and slowly, why was he so different? where had he come from? you wanted to ask so many questions, but  you were wary of showing yourself so you just followed his movements, he’d arrived there with other two like him, but he’d gotten away from his group.

It was funny to observe the way in which his head shone, he was also carrying some sort of light source on his hand, couldn’t he make light on his own? if you lifted your index finger, you could, you didn’t need any device for that. You wanted to know what other differences there were, so you dared to come a little closer and hid behind some protruding rocks, almost wanting to say something to see if he spoke the same language you did but then you didn’t have to say anything, because he turned around and for some reason you weren’t invisible anymore, maybe you got too distracted with him to care for your shield, because he saw you right there looking at him with your big and curious gray eyes, and then he stumbled back scared with the sight of you.

You got scared too and stumbled back just the same, falling unceremoniously on your bum in the process while he observed it all, he then came to you which scared you even more but he was extending a hand to you to help you up and you looked at him attentively, with your heart beating so dangerously fast.

He went down to your level, saying a few things but you couldn’t understand anything, you were too surprised because his heart was beating as wildly as yours, he was scared yet he was there trying to help you stand up or so you supposed. You took his hand but instead of standing up, you moved to be on your knees.

-Don’t be scared - you said softly, even if you were quite aware none of his friends had seen or heard anything.  -I won’t harm you - he was frozen, unmoving and just like you previously, he didn’t understand you.

You smiled kindly at him, remembering the way to make him understand and proceeded to manipulate the matter around his head until it fell apart in small fragments and you could place your hands on his face, with your fingertips grazing lightly his temples.

He seemed surprised, you noticed his breathing stopping for the second it all lasted, the tips of your fingers gleamed pleasantly against his skin and then you retreated them, the fragments coming back to place once again as if nothing had happened, but you knew it did because when you repeated to him to not be scared, he understood.

-How…-  he said suddenly, still surprised, he caressed the helmet around his head again just to check it was actually there again in one piece. -How did you do that? I… it was… wow-

You giggled, shrugging softly. -I just did, I can’t explain it, not quite-

-I understand you - you nodded with his words he was still trying to process the change and you took the chace to inspect his helmet a little more.

-What’s this for? - you asked knocking on it.

-I can’t breathe without it out here -

-What’s breathing? - you cocked your head thoughtful of his words, and he laughed, it was a pleasant sound.

-That what’s breathing? well breathing is…- he looked curiously at you. - don’t you breathe? -

-I don’t know what’s that-

-Well breathing is like getting oxygen for your body, we do it mostly through here - he lifted his hand and touched the tip of your narrow nose.

-We don’t use oxygen here - you said, coming closer to him and catching his hand again, he let you inspect him and said nothing for a while.

-What are you? - he asked so soft, almost as if he was shy to ask.

-I’m just me, Y/N, and you? what are you? -

-I’m Hoseok, I’m a human, I come from planet Earth- his words excited you, you’d heard about a planet called Earth so long ago, but you hadn’t visited it.

-I live here in this planet, did you came to know it? tell me about yours - maybe you were too excited, he seemed more surprised the more you talked, the more you seemed interested in him.

-Well I came on a mission...- he laughed, shaking his head, you could still hear his fast heart beat, feel the way his eyes were on you as if he’d never seen someone like you before, and probably he didn’t, it was the first time you saw someone like him too. -Earth is my home but I’m an astronaut, I like the space-

-You said you were human - you mentioned confused now of what he actually was. He laughed again, it was a bubbly sound.

-I’m both things, sorry if it’s confusing Y/N - You nodded, encouraging him to go on. Hoseok still couldn’t believe what he was seeing, he couldn’t believe he was talking the way he was doing with you, but there he was, in a barely explored planet of the galaxy with an alien girl interested in knowing about Earth. It was as simple as it was ridiculous but he was one to believe in coincidences and for something he was there at that time. -Earth is a beautiful planet, we have oxygen there, we have water and… and plants, lots of it-

-I’ve never seen what you’re talking about- You seemed so curious, so eager to know it was endearing. Hoseok observed your skin gleaming whenever you got thoughtful, you eyes even if gray, changed when you got excited about earth and shone a bright amber now. It was surreal, he didn’t know what to expect after you broke his helmet in million pieces and then put it back together in the span of a second.

-Oh I think I can show you, give me a moment - You nodded and he searched for a little compartment on his suit, hidden there were some photographs he took with him everywhere for sentimental reasons. the first one he showed to you was one of his family and his on a vacation trip to the mountains, explaining to you what trees were and how water felt like, how the sky was a bright blue and got dark at night when you could see the stars you said you saw always.He showed you the flag of his country, printed on the side of his suit, and read for you the inscriptions and other earth things.

He explained the concept of days and time to you, and you kept asking about the things he saw, what people did there, how he lived and he did his best to answer it all.Oddly enough, it didn’t feel as thought he was having a conversation with someone he’d just met before in the middle of the galaxy, you did scare him at first, but you weren’t scary at all. Your excitement was adorable, and you started to tell him about your life, what you saw, the planets you’d been to.

-I can show you, like you’ve shown me, but I have to touch you - you were smiling and Hoseok was positive the purple of your skin had gotten a little lighter, a little brighter. -will you let me? -

He nodded softly, he was definitely gone mad because touching him meant disappearing his helmet again and his source of oxygen, but somehow, Hoseok felt like he could trust you, so he did.

You placed your hands again on his head for just a second, like before, careful to get his helmet back in place and told him to close his eyes.

-What you’re seeing right now is my favorite nebula, I like to visit often- he laughed amazed at how clearly he saw the image on his mind, like a movie, playing as you talked about the things he was seeing and you managed to take him everywhere around the galaxy in just a couple minutes. When you were done, he opened his eyes and noticed you’d been holding his hand all along. You smiled at him and Hoseok smiled back. -Your skin is so soft, so nice, why do you cover it with this thing? -

You asked curiously, he’d seen others like you through your memories, all of you equally purple skinned like you, with alike traits that changed a little, what he hadn’t seen though, was someone with the same eyes as you. Your eyes were back to gray, now with a hint of violet, shiny as ever, it was  as captivating as the galaxies and nebulas you’d shown him.

-I wish I could have shown you my planet the way you’d show me what you’d seen-

You just laughed, holding his eyes.

-You already did Hoseok, it’s all here - you said pointing to your head and then placing both of your hands against his helmet, resting them calmly over the surface.

Apparently direct contact was important in your life, for the people like you, to communicate, to transmit what you felt, he couldn’t do as much as that but he could still hold your hand through his thick gloves and smile, promising to show you Earth to his fullest one day.

#networkbangtan #bts scenario #jung hoseok x reader #armiesnet #btswriters #hoseok scenario #jung hoseok scenario #jung hoseok imagine #hoseok x reader #bts imagine #bts jhope scenario #jhope #jhope x reader #bts fluff #hoseok imagine #hoseok fanfic #jhope fanfic #jung hoseok #hoseok #jhope imagine #bts jhope #jhope scenario

[ch4mb3r-blog]

Please, Please, Please. // Jubes & Jono

@short-fuse-long-jacket

It couldn’t have been more than a couple of weeks since the last time they were at Orthodox, and potentially the third time in the past month or two. Ever since their first visit Jono hadn’t had a very easy time masking just how much he’d wanted to go back, and back, and back. He hadn’t quite gotten to the point of going by himself, and he inwardly hoped he never irritated Jubilee to the point of her not wanting to go with him, what for all the pestering.

There were no secrets about how difficult it was for Jono to operate in everyday life without getting stared at and singled out. It was a large part of why he stuck to such a dark, monochromatic palette; he figured it helped him blend in, try to remain unassuming. He didn’t have to worry about that here, and the freeing effect that had was swift and clear. Tonight Jono wore a royal blue button down that was both more colorful and more fitted than his usual fare, unbuttoned partially down his chest for the sake of his intentionally loose bandaging, letting light seep through the cracks. The shirt was tucked neatly into a pair of dark wash jeans and his hand was tucked just as neatly in Jubilee’s, gesturing towards the first bar once they were into the thick of it. /Buy you a drink, luv?/

The second they were inside the actual club she could see the shift in Jono, his shoulders relaxing, his stance becoming less defensive. She gave his hand a squeeze, grinning up at him. It wasn't that she didn't find the other patrons interesting, she did, just after more than a few visits to Orthodox in the past months it had stopped being quite so enthralling, watching Jono hadn't.

She gave him an affectionate bump from shoulder to hip (her shoulder to hip anyway). "Just one, please, then can we dance?" She twisted a little, making her dress twirl out. Her outfit was a little less date-y than she'd worn the previous times they'd gone out, and was a little more Jubilee. From a distance the dress looked black with some kind of polkadot pattern, but up close you could see the PAC man graphics repeating along the fabric. It was finally warm enough to go without tights, but bright yellow heels, a messy braid and some hella blue eye shadow completed the look. "I have to tell you what Alex did today."

/Ugh,/ Jono replied automatically and with an equally dramatic eyeroll, even as he appreciated the twist and the swirl of fabric, his fingertips lightly brushing over the skin exposed by the scoop in the back of her dress. /And here I thought we were going to have a nice night,/ he added good-naturedly, his arm settling around Jubilee’s waist to keep her close, half due to the press of the crowd and half because he wanted to.

It wasn’t difficult to find a spot at the bar, because even in a place like this Jono managed to clear space for himself by virtue of being somewhat on fire, curls of energy sneaking through the purposefully careless bandaging. He leaned one elbow on the bar and nodded to the telekinetic behind it, who smiled at the both of them and nodded in reply; they were starting to get noticed as regulars, even in this sea of thoroughly noticeable mutants.

"Think again, hot stuff." She quipped, sliding her hand into his back pocket to keep her arm from being trapped between them (no other motive, none) and kept her expression as innocent as possible. The five seconds it lasted were probably the longest she'd gone without looking like some kind of trouble in years, but all good things must end. "We're gonna have an awesome night." She shot him a wink that fell somewhere between ridiculous and flirty (which was more or less where she lived).

They came up to the bar and people shifted to make room, though the way people parted here seemed less about fear and more about trying very politely to not get singed. Jubilee sent the bartender a jaunty salute when she nodded their way and waited for her to come over. The woman levitated some bottles and had them pouring in a complicated dance, the drinks smoothly hovering to the people who ordered them. When she finished that round she made her way to them, smiling widely.

Her voice came out in a smooth drawl, not like Rogue's, something further west that Jubilee found oddly comforting. "Welcome back. Something sweet for you," she tipped her head at Jubilee who nodded enthusiastically, and bottles were already leaving the shelves and counter behind her, "and you, ready to take the plunge?" She flicked her eyes to the side, giving the injection apparatus a significant look.

/Ah, not just yet, I don’t think. Thanks, Angel, luv./ They still weren’t 100% on whether that was her real name or a mutant moniker. Plenty of mutants outside of the X-Men had started adopting codename-esque nicknames, sometimes for fun but often for safety. Jono doubted that Angel had much to fear with the hulking four-armed man who often accompanied her to give side-eye to overly drunk or friendly clientele, but better safe than sorry.

Jono’s fingertips absently traced the scoop of the dress at Jubilee’s back before his hand flattened there, warm against her skin while he watched the floating bottles expertly and precisely pouring a drink with layers like a sunrise. His eyes spared the faintly glowing purple tube connected to the injector a brief look before turning his attention back to Jubilee with a smile in the corners of his eyes, content to pay her more attention than the room around them like she had been for him earlier. /That drink looks like it’ll have enough sugar to keep you goin’ for a few hours yet,/ Jono figured as he pulled a couple of bills out the pocket not occupied by her hand, sliding them across the bar.

When Angel went to take another order she sent a mental whisper to Jono, /You ever decide to try that, I'm paying./ She insisted. Since one of them didn't eat or drink it made splitting the bill a moot point, so she was calling dibs on that, should it ever happen. Not that she really expected it to any time soon though, so she was already planning to take him to a movie or concert next weekend.

"As if I need it." She replied, watching the bottles move back into place. Her drink levitated over over, layers mixing slightly.  Jubilee called out a thank you to Angel, took a sip and repeated the thanks with even more enthusiasm. She'd taken to just saying she wanted something sweet and letting Angel figure the rest out, whatever this was had just a little bit of sourness to it to stop the sweetness from being too overpowering. "Our usual spot?" She asked, looking up at Jono to find his eyes already on her. She felt her cheeks heat but didn't look away like she might have done a month ago, instead she stretched up, silently asking for a kiss.

/We don’t even know how much that costs,/ Jono replied dubiously but not without an air of both amusement and absent affection; that she would even offer meant a lot. He inclined his head to bump his nose against Jubilee’s before pressing a kiss to her lips that would’ve lingered longer if not for the other people antsy to take their spot at the bar. He nodded lightly in response to her question as he straightened up, hand finding the small of Jubilee’s back so he could trail her through the crowd.

Their usual spot was a couch with a prime mix of privacy and a good angle for people-watching, something they had both learned to do with just the right level of discretion. Jono also figured that he’d had enough of being stared at in his life that he could return the favor every now and again.

He paused only briefly as they reached their (remarkably vacant) spot, frowning and taking advantage of his height to crane his neck over the crowd for a moment, then settled himself down next to Jubilee with long limbs stretched out as much as space would allow, and a thoughtful look. /Think I might’ve seen one’a my students./

She gestured as wide as she could in the cramped space with a wry smile on her lips. /Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Long has it lain fallow./ She gave him a smile that said she wasn't going to budge on this.

She went up on her toes to return the kiss, pausing for a second before heading off into the crunch of people, knowing he'd be right behind her. When she made it to 'their' area she flopped onto the sofa with enthusiasm, sending her skirt into disarray, the bright yellow crinoline under it showing even after she tried to smooth to smooth it out. Whatever.

"Yeah?" Then a sudden thought and wave of responsibility, "Wait, current or former? Are they allowed to be here? Is that our job? Are we those adults now? Oh god, we're adults." The stream of consciousness ended there in horror, then another beat and then tentative after a sudden thought, though she honestly didn't think it was the case, "Are they not supposed to see us?"

Jono glanced at Jubilee with quiet amusement for the string of questions, stretching one arm over the back of the couch to rest comfortably around her shoulders. The last question seemed to surprise him, as if he hadn’t even considered it and wasn’t expecting her to ask (which, he hadn’t and he wasn’t). /I don’t give a toss whether they see us or whether they’re allowed to be here. S’one of my current students, and if you ask me, I should give them a specific assignment to come here./

Jono figured that if it could help his own self-consciousness -- of all the unhelpable, rock-bottom conditions -- it could probably help anyone.

/I think people’ve gotten the idea about us already,/ he added, deceptively casual in the tone of the statement. /At least, I’ve certainly caught wind of people talkin’./

"Ok, see? That's why you're the hot teacher. Mandatory club field trips. Also, sweet, I don't want to be that kind of adult." She settled back into her seat, snuggling up against him as much as she could while still being able to look at him. She wouldn't argue, the fact that this would be a positive experience aside, if they were here they weren't traveling to alternate dimensions or being kidnapped or brainwashed or any of the other things that happened when they went off on their own at that age. Maybe they'd have gotten in less trouble if they'd had something like this when they were a bit younger. "I'm not sure I want to know which one, I'll be too tempted to make finger guns at them in the hall." She secretly hoped it was Shark Girl. Lies. She secretly hoped it was all of them.

She bit her lip and looked away. "Yeaaaah. You've been gettin' that vibe too, then?" She set her drink down and fiddled with her braid. "I've gotten some questions...more than normal anyway." After they started...whatever this was, wasn't the first time she'd been asked if they were together. She'd assumed back then that it was just people assuming that men and women can't be friends, but now she wondered if they'd seen something she hadn't.

She grinned, waggling her eyebrows. “Guess we've stirred up the rumor mill a little. What have you been hearing?" Her favorite so far was definitely the one about their secret engagement, not that she'd be the first to bring that particular one up, even if she did find it hilarious.

Jono chuckled absently and shook his head when Jubilee wiggled her eyebrows, giving her shoulders an affectionate squeeze that doubled as pulling her in to nuzzle against her temple, mindful of where his bandages parted. /I think yer just a little more approachable than I am./ Understatement of the century. /Haven’t gotten a lot of direct questions, but I’ve noticed my students exchanging looks when yer walkin’ me to class. Roxy did ask point-blank if there was somethin’ goin’ on between us, though./

Bling always was one of the more forward in his class, and Jono honestly admired her for that. It was typical for mutants with very obvious mutations to become withdrawn -- much like Jono -- but Roxy was too strong-natured for that.

/So, I told her yes,/ Jono finished with a small shrug, then seemed to have a thought as he shifted uncomfortably. /Kurt kinda caught wind earlier’n most. Early enough that I insisted nothin’ was goin’ on and that I was sure you only saw me as family, because… that’s what I thought, at the time./

She felt a wisp of flame lick near her face when he tugged her close, just a little flash of heat before it was gone again and it didn't stop her from leaning into his touch.

"Only a little." She teased, "Might have something to do with me being a nosy neon weirdo." A grin showed that she wasn't being self deprecating at all, she liked all those things about herself. "Or it might be that people are still like, mega-protective of me and hafta check on me every ten minutes." She felt confident in guessing more staff had talked to her than Jono, though she got her fair share of student interest too.

She was pretty sure they'd gotten similar looks when people saw them together before, and they just hadn't noticed. She didn't correct him. What she did do was cover her face to laugh, her words coming through muffled. "Course Rox asked. That girl, she's not subtle." She shook her head, a proud sort of smile on her face. Someday she was going to realize she didn't need to be quite as tough as she looked, and then she was going to be damn near unstoppable. She wondered if she should tell Jono how Roxy came out to her, but was more interested in something else just then. "What did she say to that?" She wanted to know what he said to her, beyond 'yes' but didn't ask.

She was sure there were going to be all kinds of questions at the GSA meeting this week, she made a mental note not to get her hopes up about actually accomplishing anything with them.

Her eyes softened when he started to look cagey. She'd seen a lot more of his shy and hesitant side in the last couple months, it was something she found unbearably cute. "Hmmm. Well I'm glad I set you right." She reached for his hand and traced over the lines of his palm with her fingertips. The way his hand felt against hers was definitely not familial. "Did you tell Kurt that he was right?"

"A couple of the students I know well have asked. An' Trevor keeps giving me these super significant looks with all his eyes at once," she rolled hers, and then it was her turn to look uncomfortable. "It's actually been mostly staff that have talk to me? Most of 'em have been really cool." She didn't bring up that some had not been as enthusiastic.

/Really?/ Jono’s tone was flat and thoroughly dubious, the word a borderline scoff as his fingers wandered absently over her shoulder, eventually giving it an affectionate squeeze. /Would’ve thought it’d be a full chorus of ‘you’re too good for him,’/ he continued, in such a way that suggested he probably agreed with the sentiment.

He watched Jubilee’s fingers trace his palm before he shook his head and curled his fingers in to lace between hers, the calloused pads of his fingertips against her knuckles. /Roxy didn’t say much, since I didn’t say much. Just sorta narrowed her eyes at me and went back about her business. I think Trevor’s given me some of the same looks,/ Jono added with amusement, since it was pretty difficult for Trevor not to give anyone a ‘significant look.’

/’Onestly, I’m expectin’ the overprotective shotgun brigade at my door any day now, with Logan front ‘n center./ He had to glance away and over the crowd as he said so, eyes narrowing briefly with an emotion that was difficult to pin down.

She gave his hand a hard squeeze, equal parts punishment for the implication and reassurance that it wasn't true. "Yes, really. Rogue and Alison were both super cool, Remy too. The main concern has actually been how different we are, but I got questions about how this," she gestured at herself, them him, then between them, "worked when we were just friends."

She wondered if she should expect some kind of talking to from Roxy, if not more of Jono's students. As awkward as the prospect would be, she liked the idea of them looking out for him. Speaking of..."I talked to Logan and...it went ok. He's protective and yeah, he doesn't really get it." She squeezed his hand again, "but I told him he doesn't need to. He just needs to respect that I know what I'm about and not be an ass." That conversation had gone the second least well of all the ones she'd had about Jono. It probably would have been worse if Logan ever said more than the bare minimum of what was on his mind. Bobby however, had no such qualms."I'm not going to lie, he's probably going to talk to you. A couple other people might too." He wasn't meeting her eyes and it sent a spark of worry through her. "And...I'd get it if that's not something you want to deal with." Her hand loosened a little incase he wanted to pull away. She didn't want to believe he would, but past experience said not to bank on it. "Logan's hard enough to work with without..." she repeated the gesture between the two of them before leaving it there simply because she didn't know what to call whatever it was they were doing. She gave a sigh and looked down at her skirt. So much for an awesome night.

/Hey,/ Jono murmured, the tone as she trailed off being enough to bring his attention more respectfully back to the conversation, letting go of Jubilee’s hand only in favor of using his fingertips to tilt her chin in his direction again. /No, I don’t want to deal with it. I’m not gonna lie and tell yeh otherwise. But what we have is worth it, and it’s like yeh said: whether I or other people think yeh deserve better isn’t for us to decide, tha’s for you. Yeah, it might uncomfortable. But you know I’m not exactly easily intimidated./

It was probably the most Jono had thought about the situation, and certainly the most he’d said about it in one sitting so he gave a shrug, shifted uncomfortably, and felt the need to add, /Tha’s my feelings on it, anyway. If anyone wants to start somethin’ with me, they’re welcome to try./ Jono doubted there was much anyone could say to him that he hadn’t already thought of or about himself.

She let him guide her back to eye contact, though her gaze would almost certainly have snapped back a second later at what he said, a flare of irritation clear on her face. "You shouldn't have to put up with it!" There might have been an undercurrent of insecurity because other people had opted not to risk it, but she pushed that down. If she wanted him to accept that he was worth it, she needed to be willing to do the same. It was just...she bristled at the idea of this being something that made his life more difficult than it already was. As if he didn't already question his value like, all the time. He didn't need people adding fuel to that fire (no pun intended). She was just really getting going in her head when he followed it up with something that cooled her anger.

Her irritated half sulk turned into a tentative half smile. "Me too, worth it, I mean, me think that it's worth- fuck." She covered her face with her hands. /I think it's worth it too. I just wish folks would stay in their lane./

/I wish that every day of my life,/ Jono replied with a good-natured chuckle, inclining his head to nuzzle Jubilee’s temple while she had her face covered. /I appreciate you bein’ pissed on my behalf./ The reasoning behind it wasn’t lost on him, and he gave her shoulders an appreciative squeeze, tucking her in closer against his side.

/An’ while I want to give you the whole ‘they’re just lookin’ out for you,’ I also wish they’d realize you can look out for yerself./ It was a sentiment he often expressed and unfortunately, one that had plenty of reason to persist. If Jono was tired enough of being treated like a leper, surely Jubilee was just as tired of being treated like everyone’s kid sister.

She cuddled in, letting her hands drop from her face. "Don't laugh at me, I'm a beacon of poise and perfection and I will fight you."

She blew out a breath, her bangs blowing everywhere. "Anyway, only Logan and Bobby have been shitty. Everyone else has been some mix of cool and supportive, with optional side orders of protective or teasing." She swept her fingers through her bags, hoping to put them in order. "Allison was like, high-key pleased. Wanted to know when I started being into bad boys." She gave him a smile, hoping this would be enough to change the subject. She picked up her drink and took another sip. "You know, I might be the thing that ruins your reputation."

An eyeroll to accompany the mention of Bobby’s name was inevitable. Jono had anticipated Logan, and while he hadn’t necessarily expected Bobby, he was hardly surprised. He wondered whether or not that would end up being a conversation, and if so, whether either of them would make it out alive.

/Never much cared for my reputation either way,/ he murmured, unsurprisingly. There was amusement in his eyes again as he brushed his thumb over the curve of Jubilee’s shoulder, attention wandering back into the crowd. /Y’should probably be more worried about yours, datin’ a ‘bad boy’ like me./ That phrase was dosed with more than enough sarcasm to get his point across.

She gave him an extra squeeze, grateful for his putting up with her crazy family and a commiserating look about Bobby. She loved him like a brother but he never did know when to drop the jokes which landed the ice cube in hot water on at least a biweekly basis. And Jono was one tall glass of hot water.

"Psh. My rep is untarnishable. I mean, it's also beyond inaccurate, but if trends continue I've got nothin' to worry about. You though?" She shook her head in mock pity. "S probably for the best that you don't care. You keep acting all sweet to me and that scowl is gonna stop work-" she paused, his words having sunk in and leaving a her a little surprised and a lot pleased. "Dating?" She angled herself a little more towards him. "Is that what we're doing?" It came out a little uncertain, a little teasing and a little shy. "I mean, it's what we're doing but," another pause, this time to bite her lip and look up at him through her lashes, a little smile on her lips, far more optimistic about his answer after the rest of their conversation. "Neither of us have really called it that...So what do you think, Sparky, wanna go steady?"

The word -- ‘dating’ -- had slipped out so naturally and without a second thought that Jubilee’s reaction surprised him for a moment. Jono raised his eyebrows and looked back to her as she leaned in, and the fluster was nearly instantaneous; his cheeks flushed, and it had nothing to do with being a tall, hot glass of water.

/I mean… / If he’d had a throat left to clear, he would’ve done it, stalling with a hesitant shrug instead. /I’d probably never recommend anyone ‘go steady’ with me. But I hear yer pretty difficult to dissuade,/ Jono added, reaching up to brush at her bangs with his fingertips. /So, if yeh’ll have me./ He trailed off again, and with another faint shrug he nodded, the look in his eyes warm.

/Then, yeah. … I’d like that, sunshine./

He was...fucking adorable, she decided, watching the blush spread above the bandages and wondering what she'd have to do to get him to look that way more often. Probably just keep being as into him as she already was and well....she was pretty sure she could manage that without much trouble.

She leaned up and kissed him softly, a smile on her lips. "I am known for my tenacity." When she settled back in and he swiped her bangs out of her eyes she joined him in blushing. She wanted to make a comment about 'having' him but passed it over in favor of responding with the same sincerity.

"I'd like that too." She tugged him down to her to brush her nose against his, staying close and talking low. "Not gonna lie, I've been high-key holding back by not callin' you my boyfriend. It'll be nice to not haveta skirt around it, I've...kinda wanted to call you that for a while."

/Really?/ The surprise was instantaneous and almost comical, not to mention genuine; Jono wasn’t doubting the sentiment nor was he teasing her for it, he was legitimately caught off-guard.

/I mean-- tha’s good,/ he was quick to add, the hand he didn’t have resting on Jubilee’s shoulder moving to settle on her knee with a tentative squeeze. His eyes softened and he gave something like a chuckle, shaking his head and glancing down. /Bit of a miracle anyone considers me boyfriend material anymore. Lord knows I’ve been told the opposite plenty ‘a times./ By Paige and others. He looked up again to meet Jubilee’s eyes and brushed his calloused fingertips lightly against her jawline, still not sure how he got so lucky -- or when he would manage to screw it up. /’M also more than happy to consider yeh my girlfriend, luv./

Jubilee punched him in the shoulder. Not as hard as she could have, but not exactly joking around either. "Duh!" She shook her head, huffing at his astonishment. What did he think she wanted with him?

She gave a little eye roll at the phrase 'boyfriend material'. Material had to be changed, had to be made into something else.  It was true that she desperately wanted Jono to be happy and more comfortable with himself, but she wanted those things for him and she wanted him regardless of whether he ever made it to that point. Regardless, semantics wasn't a battle she was picking today.

She turned her head to press a kiss to one of his fingertips, the skin warm and rough against her lips and familiar. Her lips quirked up at the memory of how he'd managed to stop her cold with a touch there before any of this started.

#please please please: jubilee #short-fuse-long-jacket

[zombiexghoulx92]

Love Me Harder;--

‘Love me, love me, love me,’ a break in the music left her with thoughts rushing through her mind at high speed. Kind of like when a roller coaster takes off, going from 0 to 60 miles per hour in the blink of an eye. ‘Harder, harder, harder.’ She could feel it then, that rush of blood straight to her cheeks. They were now a rosy, pink color. Maybe it wasn’t her thoughts that caused her to flush, perhaps it was the alcohol she had just downed. That had to be what caused it. 

Sure, her thoughts were inappropriate. Usually, they were. But she had just taken quite a few shots with her friends. The group had moved from the bar, each of them with a nice buzz. Hands grabbing one another, pushing their heated bodies into the other. A cluster of sweaty, but happy dancing people in one little area. It wasn’t just for show; they were all very happy. The only thing she could do was smile and be happy for them. 

 The truth? She was not a pretty girl. An average girl with scars on her face from a child’s past was seen. A beautiful purple hair color was shining in the lights that bounced around the club floor. Pale skin glistened with the tint of tiny sweat beads that rolled down her neck, her chest. Came to rest between her breasts. Many saw her friends as gorgeous, they saw her as nothing too important. And that was perfectly okay with her. She would wait for the perfect guy to come by and sweep her off of her feet, kind of like they did in romantic movies. 

She was lost in her wild thoughts. Until someone came and gently took her by the hand, pulling her, steadily, to the dance floor. “Hey! Wait jus--” were her protests, until she saw him. His face she saw in the colorful lights bouncing around. Gorgeous. He was handsome. Tall, muscly, not too muscly where they bulged out from the underneath of his shirt but just enough to show that he, indeed, had muscles. His jawline was sharp, beautiful dark eyes, and lips that looked absolutely kissable. Her thoughts went wild with lust. She had to have him. “Who are you?!” He gave her a heart-stopping smile, showing beautiful white teeth. No answer, just a smile. 

He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his body. Thoughts screamed to move away, get away from him before it was too late. In fact, it was already too late. Her body wouldn’t listen to her. It moved with his. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her backside into his hips. Instinctively, she pushed back. It was erotic dancing, she knew it. Deep down, a tiny voice said to run. Get away from him. He was like a drug she was trying for the first time, and loved it. She wanted more from him. More of him. No matter how many times that tiny voice screamed for her to run, her body would do the opposite. When he twirled her, and dipped her slowly, he held her sides as she bent all the way down to the floor, fingertips grazing the cool stone, before he pulled her back up to him. Once up, her face was mere inches from his. Biting down on her bottom lip, she wrapped her arms around his neck, which pulled her closer. 

‘Hungry eyes,’ the song played off in the distance. Her thoughts ran wild, like she was living in some kind of fantasy. How could someone like her have found some amazing, handsome man? By a pure random coincidence. Because a plain girl like her could never get a man like this. ‘Don’t cha feel like cryin’!’ When the song began to play, she blinked and pulled away from him, rushing away. The buzz had worn off, but maybe he was the one who was drunk. In the morning, he’d completely forget about her. What she felt was nothing but a fluke.

Once outside, leaned against the cool brick, a light rain began. She tilted her head back, and then he was right there beside her. His hands tangled in her long, rain drenched hair, mouth on hers. It was full of passion, full of feelings. He pressed her against the bricks harder, pressing his body against hers. He came up for air, once. “I love you, Lucinda. Don’t throw this moment away. Let me show you what I can do. Let me prove my devotion to you, and no other.” One more kiss and she was in heaven. “Please, Luce, I want you.” 

Another kiss. “Fine, Quinn. Show me. And I swear I won’t let this moment go to waste.”          

#my story #my characters #story #love #snippet #don't let this go to waste #love me harder