#And im still not happy they changed the heart liked songs to a freaking plus sign. horrendous

[yourbleedingh3art]

Why is spotify always changing shit i literally love about it like u have to be intentionally torturing me individually Admit it.

#blog post #THWY CHANGED THE LAYOUT WHY WOULD THEWY CHANGE HOW IT APPEARS ON BROWSER #And im still not happy they changed the heart liked songs to a freaking plus sign. horrendous

[bibbawrites]

First Man - Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Request: NONE

Word Count: 1735 words 

Summary: the song First Man by Camila Cabello but make it about Charlie Gillespie

Warnings: i think theres one swear word and thats all ?

A/N: so i had originally written this for another fandom that i am no longer in but i decided to change it to charlie cause why not  this is literally just the song first man by camila cabello, so go listen to that if you dont know it haha  again i tried to make this gender neutral but i may have messed up at one point so if i did im very sorry  anyways hope you enjoy this little fluffy piece 

Tag List:  @happinessinthedarkesttimes​ @littlemissaddict @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @headheartbellarke @lovesanimals​ @bartok-the-bat @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik

Winter 2019

It was a mild Winter's afternoon in LA. You walked down the stairs of your family home, bag in hand, smiling when you spotted your family sitting around the table, a board game in the middle.

"Y/N! Come join us!" Your mum called when she spotted you enter the room. You shook your head.

"Maybe another time, sorry guys. I'm actually just heading out, I'm gonna stay with Charlie tonight... is that okay?" Your father sighed before nodding.

"When will we get to meet this Charlie boy that we hear so much about?" He asked, standing up to walk over to you. You shrugged.

"I'm not too sure, but it will be soon, I promise." You grinned. Your little sister looked up from the game board.

"What's he like Y/N?" She asked, looking at you intently. A soft smile appeared on your face at the thought of your boyfriend.

"He's really sweet. He's funny, just like you Dad. He’s not super tall but it doesn’t even matter. And he loves dragging me along on hikes." You paused.

"I really like him." You finished. Your dad frowned slightly, but hid it quickly.

"That's nice to hear darling. Don't forget a jacket, okay?" He told you. You looked at your father knowingly. He had been like this with every boy you’d ever brought home, not that you'd brought home tons of boys before.

"No it's okay, it’s not that cold outside today. Besides, he's waiting outside for me." You said, glancing down at your phone to see the text from Charlie.

'I'm here' it read. You looked back up again, noticing your father watching you. He stepped closer, pulling you into a hug.

"Don't freak out Dad, I'll be fine." You assured him. He squeezed you tightly.

"I just worry about you." You smiled, pulling away.

"I know, I get that. But I'm an adult now Dad. I got this."

"I know, I know." He sighed. By now the rest of the family had gone back to their game.

You patted your dad on the chest before turning to leave, stopping when your hand touched the doorknob. You turned back around to face your father.

"Just remember Dad, you were the first man that really loved me." And with that you turned back to the door and left, leaving your dad to smile sadly. His little baby was growing up.

 Summer 2020

It was Summer and you and Charlie had a few days off from work. You had decided to head back to LA together, to visit your family. After all, you had been dating for over a year and Charlie still hadn't met your family yet. The family that you spoke so highly of.

You touched down at LAX and made your way through security quickly.

"You ready?" You asked, holding tightly to Charlie's hand as you made your way to baggage claim, where you had organised to meet your parents.

"Honestly? I'm fucking petrified." Charlie responded, causing you to laugh.

"You'll be fine. Everyone loves you Char, and my family will be no different." You walked around the corner, spotting your Dad quickly.

"Dad!" You called, rushing over to hug your father. Charlie walked over slowly. You pulled away and grinned, glancing at Charlie.

"Dad, I'd like to meet my boyfriend, Charlie." You introduced. "Char, this is my dad, Sam."

Charlie held his hand out for your dad to shake.

"It's nice to officially meet you Mr Y/L/N. Can I call you Sam?" He smiled nervously. Your father looked him up and down before taking his hand and shaking it.

"Sir will do. Charlie, short for Charles I assume?" His glare was stone cold. Charlie swallowed, nodding.

"Yes sir, but I prefer Charlie." Your father nodded before turning his attention back to you.

"How long are you two here for?" He asked, ignoring Charlie, who moved to grab the both of your bags that were coming along the carousel.

"We have 8 days off, but we're only here for 4." You responded. Your dad nodded.

"Well I guess that's better than nothing. Come on let's go, your mother is waiting in the car outside. She didn't want to pay for parking so she's been driving around while I waited in here."

And with that the three of you headed outside to the car.

 Luckily for Charlie the rest of your family weren't as scary as your father was.

Your mother was lovely, and she had been very welcoming, even speaking to him in French when it was brought up that the two shared a common language.

Your brothers were really cool and invited him to join them to play video games whenever he wanted.

And your little sister, well, she adored the Canadian boy from the minute he walked through the front door.

And just like that Charlie’s first day at the Y/L/N house was over.

After sitting outside for hours with you and your parents, Charlie decided to head off to bed, and with a quick kiss for you and a murmured "goodnight" he was gone.

"So what do you think?" You asked once you knew that Charlie was well and truly inside.

"He's lovely darling." Your mother told you, smiling. You turned to your father.

"Dad?" You asked. Your father shrugged.

"He's not too bad, I guess." He admitted. You shook your head slightly. Of course your father would say that.

"I met his family you know? They're really nice, just like you guys." You told your parents.

"Oh, that's good sweetie." Your mum grinned.

"His parents are great, they're really down to earth. And his brothers and sister are really cool. Plus they love their hockey." You looked at your dad as you said the last part, knowing how big of a hockey fan he was. Your dad nodded in appreciation.

"That's good to hear. If they like hockey they must be good people." Your mother nodded in agreement with her husband. You fell into a comfortable silence for a few seconds.

"You know..." You began, breaking the silence. "I think he might be the one." Your mother put her hand up to her mouth, unable to hide her excitement.

"Oh Y/N, you really think so?" She asked. You nodded.

"Yeah, I really love him." You smiled.

"And he's a good man?" Your dad questioned, fixing his gaze on you. You nodded quickly.

"I swear on my heart. He loves me, and he'd never hurt me." You assured him.

"Good." He said, and with that the conversation was over, the topic changing to gossip about a family friend who's husband had cheated on her.

And later when you were heading off to bed you made sure to give your dad an extra big hug and remind him softly that he was the first man that really loved you.

 The four days passed quickly and before anyone knew it, it was time for you and Charlie to leave.

Your family gathered on the driveway, next to Charlie’s car that he had collected on your second day back. After a few hugs with your siblings Charlie moved to bid farewell to your parents. Your mother pulled him into a hug.

"It was lovely to meet you darling." She said softly, before pulling away.

"You too." He smiled. "It was lovely to meet all of you."

"Don't be a stranger Charlie." She said.

"Yeah come back all the time." Your little sister agreed. Charlie nodded.

"I'll make sure of it." He turned his attention to your father, holding out his hand for him to shake. Your father took it, shaking it firmly.

"Thank you for having me sir." Charlie smiled politely. Your father paused, before faking a smile.

"It was no problem." You exchanged a knowing look with your mother. You both knew that your father didn't think that Charlie deserved you.

After a few more goodbyes you and Charlie hopped into the car and left, waving to your family as you pulled out. You had barely made it to the end of the street before you grabbed Charlie's arm.

"Wait we need to go back." You said quickly.

"Why?" Charlie asked, but turned around nonetheless.

"I forgot to tell my dad something." He pulled up in front of the house and you jumped out quickly, rushing over to your father who was still outside. He looked at you in confusion.

"I forgot to say, remember you were the first man who really loved me." You smiled softly, and with one last hug you left again.

 Spring 2022

It was a beautiful Spring day in Hawaii. You and your father were stood together at the top of the beach, dressed to the nines, him in a fancy suit and you in your chosen wedding outfit.

It was almost time.

Time for you to walk down the aisle and marry the love of your life.

You looked over at your father, noticing his tie was slightly crooked. You took a step closer, and fixed the tie, watching as he tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. You smiled softly at him.  

"You know, I've never seen you cry before." You whispered. Your dad smiled, a tear falling down his cheek.

"You just look so beautiful Y/N. No matter what, you'll always be my little baby." He responded, pulling you into a hug.

As you separated the music began to play, and he held his arm out for you to take.

"Here we go." You whispered, and the two of you began your walk down the beach to where Charlie was waiting, teary eyed, at the end of the aisle.

As you walked, your father found himself looking over at you, taking in the tears of happiness and the look of love that you were giving Charlie. Your dad smiled to himself, glad that you had finally found the perfect man for you.

You reached the end of the aisle and you pulled your father into a hug.

"Remember," You whispered. "You were the first man who really loved me." You pulled away, stepping back. Your dad hesitated for a second before stepping forward to pull Charlie into a hug.

"Take care of my little angel." He whispered. Charlie nodded.

"Of course Sir." They pulled apart and your dad smiled softly.

"You can call me Sam."

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie x reader #fluff #based on the song First Man by Camila Cabello #reader insert

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

[gerberbabey]

cocaine | kiara carrera

madison bailey rlly met her gf ON TIKTOK, thats wild and now i see that my chances arent as low as i believe. anyways love that for them.

writing this made me so damn depressed. like if anyone would like to fall in love w me, im just here...chillin.

masterlist | cocain series: 2 | 3 

summary: Kiara falls in love with someone who isn’t willing to love anymore (story inspired by the mentioned song and this scene).

warnings: that gay shit, cursing, angst, underage drug use, underage drinking, mentions of dying, unrequited love?

♫ Cocaine by Pink Sweat$ ♫

Kooks could talk as much shit as they wanted but it didn’t exactly stop them from showing up at the boneyard for a kegger. They whined and complained about Pogues but still came around to the other side of the island because they knew they would have a good time.

“It’s like watching National Geographic,” Kie winced and you sputtered out a laugh, stumbling back as you tried to keep the water from dripping onto your clothes. There was a pocket of Kooks jumping around to the music, moving in a weird sort of unison that was both stiff and awkward.

“Ew,” Kie laughed as you leaned forward to spit out the water that you had been trying to drink. To be honest it wasn’t that funny of a comment but you were also high of your ass so everything was hilarious.

“I can’t breathe,” you huffed out and Kie had to hold you steady when you stumbled into her. You were laughing so hard that it was at that point where you weren’t even making any noise. She couldn’t stop herself from laughing because of how hard you were laughing.

“Oh my god (Y/N) it wasn’t even that funny!”

“Then why are you laughing?!”

“Because you’re laughing!”

The two of you burst out into another fit of giggles as you wrapped your arms around the girl, resting your head on her chest as she wrapped her arms around you and struggled to keep the two of you standing.

“Are you two ok?” Pope walked up to the two of you just as you stumbled into the sand in a laughing heap. You let out one giggled and took in a deep breath as you stared up at Pope, your head hazy and heavy.

“Chillin dude,” you drawled out and Pope shook his head before he helped the two of you up. Kia brushed off the sand from her curls and you gave an aggressive shake of your head as you brushed out the sand from hair at the same time. Kie let out a noise and Pope stepped back to avoid any sand flying at him.

When you stopped you stumbled to straighten up. Everything around you was moving fast and yet slow at the same time and you let out a laugh.

Kie couldn’t help but look at you with a dopey look on her face. She wished she could tell you just how much she loved you. The day Kie had realized she was in love with her best friend was a bit of a stressful one. Kie was a firm believer of the “No Pogue on Pogue macking rule”. Not only did she believe it would change everything if broken, she also didn’t want to have a reason to be tied down to the Outer Banks. She loved her friends, her family, and her life on the island but she knew she was capable of so much more. Deep down in her heart she knew that she was meant to travel the world. That the best way for her to succeed was to get out of the Outer Banks and into the world.

But then one day she looked into your eyes and knew she loved you. That she was in love with you.

You were friends with the Pogues before she’d joined the group but you were the first one she met. You met the rest of the Pogues through JJ, and then had integrated Kie into the group after you started working at The Wreck.

After the betrayal of Sarah Cameron and the pain she went through being ostracized by her entire school, meeting you and then the boys had been her saving grace. Sure you weren’t jumping to your feet to try and help baby sea turtles into the ocean, but you always listened to her. You understood her.

“I mean everyone’s freaking out about plastic straws but the cups are like...more plastic,” you added to her rant and she nodded enthusiastically.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying!”

She was pretty much convinced the two of you were soulmates the day you had played her a playlist that you made just for her.

Yet even though she was so head over heels in love there was too many reasons why she couldn’t tell you.

One of the biggest reasons was your lack of faith in love and relationships. Convincing you that falling in love and being in love was a good thing proved to be a difficult feat. You’d been hurt so much by the concept of love that you’d moved past the point of thinking you’d ever fall in love. You left it behind and believed wholeheartedly that it wasn’t something meant for you. You didn’t believe in marriage and didn’t believe that you would ever find that person. You’d stopped looking and that meant that you couldn’t and wouldn’t see Kie in the way she wished you would.

“Yo (Y/N)!”

You and your friends turned at that and Kie watched you grin as you ran up to the boy who called you. You jumped into his arms and Kie bit her lip.

“Dude! What the fuck is up?!” You yelled as the boy laughed and let you down. You were jumping around excitedly, “Yo when did you get home?”

“Yesterday.”

“Who’s that?” Kie asked JJ and the boy turned to look at what she was talking about.

“Huh? Oh that’s Quincy, he graduated last year I think? Went to the Navy or something, him and (Y/N) were really close.”

“Oh.”

Kie wondered why she never heard about Quincy.

“Kie!!!” You waved her over and Kie pushed down that weird feeling that was rising up and hid it with a smile. She moved to stand by you and tried not preen when you took her hand in yours, intertwining your fingers and holding on tight. She hoped that Quincy would conclude that she was yours. (You may not have been hers, but she was wholeheartedly yours).

“Kie this Quincy. He was my fuckin plug before he left,” you laughed and Quincy crossed his arms and gave you a look. Kie felt a little relieved but then thought about this.

“Didn’t you start smoking when you were like...in middle school?” Kie asked and Quincy laughed while you shrugged.

“Yeah, can you imagine how I felt seeing this 12 year old asking me if I sold?”

Kie tried not to cringe. You’d been smoking for way longer than she’d known you. Your tolerance surpassed JJ, likely because of your lack of tolerance breaks. Kie could argue that at least you’d only smoked weed and hadn’t dove into other, harder drugs. The one time you had, Kie nearly had a heart attack and the boys almost killed a boy for urging you to take it.

You’d told her once that you just really liked how being high made you feel. The strain you smoked made you feel relaxed. It eased your mind and your body.

You told her that you started smoking after your parents separated. They’d fallen out of love and decided that rather than being adults and dealing with their issues themselves, they’d put the weight and stress of their problems onto your shoulders. A year later you had decided you were going to quit because you’d fallen in love with your boyfriend of a year and a half. You nearly did stop getting high, but then your boyfriend broke up with you, didn’t tell you you why, and then ghosted you.

3 days later he’d posted about his new girlfriend (he’d reassured you nothing was going on between them when you were together. The time stamp of the filtered picture told you and everyone else otherwise).

Kie wanted to spite the people who’d led to the walls you built around your heart.

You had guided Kie and Quincy back over to the other Pogues and Kie couldn’t help but cling to you that night. She didn’t like Quincy’s familiarity with you. It was kind of childish really but it’d been a while since you’d looked eager to interact with anybody who weren’t the Pogues. Kie’s heart skipped a beat when she realized how absolutely ok you were with her holding and touching you.

“Hey...(Y/N)?”

“Hmm..?”

The two of you were laying in her bed. The kegger had ended some time ago and though the two of you would’ve usually stayed at the Chateau with the boys, she’d decided she wanted to spend the rest of her night alone with you. She’d appreciated Quincy taking the two of you to her house.

“You really don’t think you’re going to get married?” she questioned quietly and she watched you open your eyes and look into her own.

“Hm...Yeah. Probably not,” you told her honestly.

“Why not?”

“...I don’t know. I don’t think I’d want to commit to someone that much. Plus...I don’t think anyone would wanna commit to being with me either.”

Kie would.

“But what if someone loves you...so so much, but you just won’t open yourself up to them? Would you really risk losing that before you even know it?”

You stayed silent at that. This was something that constantly went through your mind. sometimes you thought about those “what if” moments constantly. What if you’d given that boy a chance? Would you be in love with him now? Would the two of you be happy?

Yet you also thought: but maybe the two of you would be miserable instead. Maybe it would just lead to more pain.

“I don’t know if I could deal with being hurt because of love again.”

“...Ok...”

The two of you eventually drifted off to sleep. Kie’s chest hurt but she dreamt about kissing you.

Kie sometimes wished that she could be the one to bring your heart out of its hiding place. She wanted to be the person that you were willing to finally love. She wanted you to toss aside the risk of getting hurt because she’d make it clear to you that she would never hurt you.

JJ had gotten too high once, and had told her that you and him sometimes went to the dock and just sat there in silence. That the two of you would allow your worries to ease just by being beside one another and that you both knew that even without talking, or venting, or even smoking, you understood how JJ felt and JJ understood how you felt.

Kie wanted that.

She wished she didn’t have to push so hard for you to feel comfort in her, but she would continue pushing nonetheless. Despite how close the two of you were as friends, vulnerable moments were rare with you. 

“Kie, I need you to leave this alone ok? It’s seriously not any of your business,” you’d tried to shake her off and she only became angrier. The boys had shuffled out of the room the moment you’d walked in with Kie yelling at you.

She had went to pick you up and caught you snorting a line of...something, in your room.

“None of my business!? I can’t just let you hurt yourself like this (Y/N)!”

“Kie you smoke with me! Fucking weed is killing me just as much as any other drug would! If you cared so much then don’t cherry pick what you decide to care about!”

“Don’t ever tell me how I feel!”

“God you’re not my fucking mom Kie, just stop!”

“No (Y/N)!”

You’d stormed off after that argument. Out of all the people in your life you thought Kie would be the last person the chastise you for anything you did. You thought she understood. Kie felt terrible when you didn’t come around to the Chateau or even talk to her and the Pogues for the rest of the day. Kie’s heart was in your hands and you were squeezing.

The next day, Kie had bursted into your room crying.

“You can’t be mad at me for just wanting you to be ok...” she sobbed and you held her tight to you. 

“I know Kie, I know. I’m sorry,” you mumbled into her hair before you gave her a kiss on the forehead. She pulled back to look at you and she took in the worried expression on your face. She was hyper aware of the feeling of your thumbs stroking her cheek. Kie shut her eyes and leaned forward to press her lips onto yours.

Her heart broke into a million pieces when you gasped and backed away.

“Oh my god...” Kie sobbed and stood from where the two of you had clung to each other on your bed, “I’m sorry-I just..I’m gonna go-” 

You couldn’t say a word as you watched Kie rush out of your room.

“Fuck!” she yelled before the door slammed shut.

part 2...?

#outer banks imagine #kiara carrera x reader #kiara carrera imagine #kie carrera x reader #kie x reader #kie imagine #kie carrera imagine #x reader #reader insert #angst #romance #poc!reader #woc!reader #outer banks #obx #obx imagines #outer banks fic #obx fic #outer banks fanfiction

[sporadic-writer]

Like Nobody’s Watching

Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: swearing that’s mainly it

Summary: in a city of millions, someone is always watching you be yourself (that sounds creepy, sorry I can’t think of a better phrasing)

-----------------------------

It's classic NYC gridlock. Luckily, it was Thursday evening so it wasn't horrible. Plus, you and your friend driving have some of your favorite songs BLASTING with the windows down so it wasn’t too bad. It was one of the first pleasantly warm nights of the year and of course you had the windows and sunroof open. In New York, a million people pass by and see a million things a day, but pay no mind. It’s the perfect place to act like nobody is watching because in the end no one is really watching. Besides, no one pays much mind to two girls singing screaming along to the AUX. 

The traffic wasn’t horrible. It was very slow moving, but luckily wasn’t too long. Some passed by and were entertained, or sang a long a little bit. Plus, your turn was a few blocks away and seemed to be where the slow down stops. Wanting to break the bored feeling growing in your mind, you decided to unbuckle and stand up out the sunroof. The song continued on with the traffic and you continued to throw your arms out and feel the breeze. It was a perfect night and you looked around at the beautiful city around you.

The song got quiet as it changed and you looked down to your friend in the driver’s seat. “Ah to be a twenty-something in the Big Apple. It’s perfect.” The next song began and your friend cranked it. She looked up to you and you smirked. “Sing it bitch! AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET? I’VE BEEN DYING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANNA HEAR! CAUSE THAT’S JUST WHO I AM THIS WEEK!” Some people crossing the street laughed at the both of you.

"Y/N some old couple crossing the street didn’t appreciate our show very much. They glared and shook their heads hahah!” She continued to bop along while you smiled and leaned on the roof of the car. A breeze went by again and you smiled at the warm weather.

“Screw em! If they can’t enjoy a free concert that’s on them. Now let’s fucking go, the next chorus is coming. Drop a heart, break a name. We’re always sleeping in, sleeping for the wrong team! WE’RE GOIN’ DOWN, DOWN IN AN EARLIER ROUND. AND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGING!” You stopped and let her take the rest of it. At the street corner you heard some girls singing as well, just as loud. When you turned to the area of them, smiling, they danced a little and you went along with them. After they kept walking you felt a tap on your leg.

As you looked down, Y/F/N, looked up at you and turned the music down a little. “They aren’t the only ones amused by our antics. That cute guy behind them in the blue hoodie as been watching and laughing since we started.” She pointed back at that direction and you smirked as your gaze followed. Upon realizing who she meant, you froze. 

As you dropped into your seat she looked at you as if you were nuts. “Do you know who that guy is? That is Sebastian Stan. Oh God how could I not notice one of my favorite actors watching me make an ass out of myself. Fate is cruel.”

“Oh come on. He seems cool.” She turned to him and waved. She waved as if it was the most casual thing in the world. And he waved back! “See he wouldn’t wave if he knew you were a freak.”

“I’m gonna ignore how you said ‘knew’ and not ‘thought’ in regards to me being a freak. Still oh dear Lord why. Stop laughing I’m humiliated!” Soon The Anthem by Good Charlotte began and the volume was back up. Both of you sang along again and next thing you knew the car moved closer to your street. 

“It’s not like we were actually screaming. We are just being loud and a tad obnoxious. So a normal Thursday night for us. Seriously relax.” You looked back into the crowd of people walking on the streets. Pretty sure you saw him up ahead, you long forgotten, and you calmed a bit. As the music played the car drove in front of your place.

Walking in, you plopped on the couch and opened your finsta. Then you typed up a post. “Ignore the smiles in this pic. Im ded. Sorry to @(his insta name idk off the top of my head) for witnessing that little concert of me and @friend in the streets of New York. Refunds for the show and therapy can be provided.” Laughing a little you hit post.

“Me my ass. That show was all you. Cute pic though! But come on Y/N he didn’t care. He’s a celeb he has probs seen much weirder. The fact that we even saw someone famous in the first place is cool alone.” You nodded in agreement. Wanting to forget it, you grabbed some nerds turned on Sunny in Philadelphia.

After about 3 episodes in, Y/F/N went to pee so you paused the show and grabbed your phone. What you saw seemed too unbelievable. You called out her name.

“What now?” You shoved your phone in her hands. “What am I looking at? All I see are you instagram notifications.”

“Bitch look closer!” You pointed to the DM notification. “HE messaged me! I’m done.”

“Are you serious? Well let’s open this bad boy. Don’t fight it. Stop! Ok ok. It says, agh fine here take it.” You snatched your phone back and read the message.

Him: No need to apologize. I quite liked it actually. Not everyday you see someone being free like that these days.

You just sat there, soaking everything in. “Why aren’t you replying! Don’t be rude and leave him on read.” You rolled your eyes and typed something up.

You: well to be fair i didnt think anyone was actually watching... my real self isnt quite THAT dorky.. im still sorry you witnessed it

“Happy? I replied.” Almost instantly your phone lit up in his reply. “Damn boy.”

Him: I wouldn’t say dorky. More like cute. Although it was clear you thought no one was genuinely watching lol

“Holy shit. He’s flirting. I repeat he is flirting with ME! At least I think he is.. Is this flirting? This has to be a prank.” You tossed your phone to your friend. Sunny long forgotten on the TV. “Wait what are you saying? Don’t reply yet!”

“Relax. I made it sound like you. Well you but with some balls.” The phone got tossed and you caught it smoothly.

“How did he get in my DMs anyway? My finsta isn’t public. Oh wait never mind he found my real one some how. Oof what is going on right now?”

You: i find it hard to believe an attractive celeb is flirting with me lol how do ik its really you? this seems too good to be true

Him: Doesn’t seem like I’m the only one flirting here. But to be fair this is my personal account. And it’s not everyday I DM a girl I see singing Fall Out Boy out of a car sunroof downtown NYC. How about we meet up Friday evening? Let me prove it’s me.

“Oh my goodness. Y/N got a date with a celebrity! I’m jealous.” You got another message.

Him: Too forward? Or do I just sound creepy?

You: no not at all. and sure why the hell not!

You: wait that may sound rude! I would love to meet up haha this way i can ensure this isnt a prank or learn not to trust social media if it is

Him: You have little trust in the world darling! But awesome, meet me at 7 at the corner you put on your lovely show. Near the Roselight Cafe and Howard’s Personal Fitness. 

You: ha so thats how you stay in such good shape! But alright that works for me

Him: No no that is all me. But you’re witty, I like that. See you then ;)

“Holy shit you have a date with a movie star.” You both sat with wide eyes in slight shock. 

You let out an ironic chuckle. “I have a date with a movie star.” You looked to her and laughed in disbelief some more. “All because I acted like a moron out of your car sunroof.”

-----------------------------

Hope you enjoyed! Like, reblog, and comment my dudes!

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan fic #fanfiction #fanfic #sebastian stan blurb

[petertingle-yipyip]

Hybrids Pt. 2 - Tyler Lockwood/Klaus Mikaelson

//Requested: OMG! i loved 'hybrids' so much and i really want part two, i loved it, you are da best😎 // - // @cinthias-corner : May I request a part 2?//

//Part One//

//Pairings: Klaroline, Stelena mention, Tyler x Reader. Warnings: Language and soft Tyler :) Tag List : @akshi8278 @simonsaysyasss //

More or less than a month had passed since you had confessed your love for Tyler. Your heart had dropped when he said exactly what you were afraid of, what he knew you were afraid of.. That everything would change.

You figured he didn’t say it on purpose to hurt you or anything. But your mind and your heart didn’t want to give him the chance. You began avoiding Tyler after that. It was obvious and you knew it. He had your whole heart in his hands and that was too much for you to handle. You felt all too vulnerable around him. Which was why you weren’t ready to face him. You couldn’t face either of them, really.

Things with Klaus weren’t the easiest either. Now that you were avoiding Tyler, Klaus saw it as his best opportunity to swoop in and mend your broken heart. It was more for your benefit than his, but it was still hard considering you weren't hesitant to shut him down. But the thing was... your heart wasn’t exactly broken. Not yet at least, thanks to your newfound fear of facing Tyler.

The decade dance. It was the 20's and Klaus intended to be there, with you and Tyler in tow. As hesitant as you were, you knew you could escape and be with the girls for most of the night. Klaus had laid out clothes for the both of you, insisting that you would have no idea how to appropriately match the timeframe.

As soon as the three of you entered the school, you slipped into the crowd and found your friends. They instantly picked up on your emotions and carefully asked you questions in regards to Tyler.

"And he laughed, believe it or not." You said in annoyance. It was like a weight was lifted, finally being able to talk about what had been nagging in the forefront of your mind. "It wasn't a bust a gut laugh, more of a chuckle, but still."

"He laughed!?" Caroline exclaimed in shock. "What an ass.. God, why did I ever date him?" She laughed.

"You're telling me.." You agreed, ignoring the pain in your chest when she mentioned their past. It didn't necessarily bother you that she had dated Tyler in that few months between Tyler becoming a hybrid and you becoming a hybrid. They were both happy, and that's all you could ask for, but it stung a little that she had been with him, knowing your feelings for him.

"Obviously, I didn't mean to say it. I'd been hiding that from him forever and it just kind of came out. I was just trying to take a cheap shot at Klaus." You continued.

"Did Tyler actually say anything about it or was the laugh it?" Elena asked, probably loving being involved in relationship drama other than her own.

"He said that it changes everything." You winced for effect.

"Everything?" They asked in unison.

"Everything." You confirmed.

"Excuse me, ladies." You heard Klaus say from over your shoulder. You turned and sighed internally. So much for escaping with the girls. "Caroline, would you like to dance?"

She tried to hide her smile but you all saw it. She nodded slightly, faking a sigh of annoyance, and stepped around the table to take Klaus' outstretched hand.

"And Y/N.." Klaus said before whisking Caroline away. "Keep him out of trouble, would you?"

Once they walked away, Tyler walked up to you. With a deep sigh, you greeted him with a tight smile. Glancing to the side, you saw Elena and Bonnie slip away, motioning for you to talk to him.

"Hey, Y/N." He said softly, standing in the now open spot next to you.

"Hey, Ty." You replied with an awkward nod.

"I guess what you said a while back really knocked Klaus down a peg." He commented.

"What are you talking about?" You questioned.

"That." He pointed to Klaus and Caroline dancing. "He's backed off you completely."

"Oh that!" You exclaimed in realization. "Yeah, but I think it was more to annoy us than any real substance. But let's admit it. I'm amazing." You teased, trying to be normal around him after a month of distance. "Plus Caroline would never admit it but she does like him. A lot, actually." You chuckled.

"You're alright." He teased in return, nudging you slightly. "Besides, she's probably the only woman on earth that does." He joked.

"Honestly!" You laughed. "His own sister can barely stand him!"

He laughed with you and everything felt like it did a month ago. No life changing confessions. Neither of us avoiding the other. It felt the way it should being with him, it was light and normal. It was comfortable.. It was everything you had been missing.

"This was a whole set up, wasn't it?" You asked, still amused at the jokes you made at Klaus' expense. "Luring the girls away so I would have to talk to you? And you even managed to get Klaus in on it."

"Well, how else was I supposed to talk to you?" He challenged with a smile. "It was actually his idea since you've been avoiding me for a month."

"Yikes... That obvious, huh?" You laughed a little, knowing it was.

"Just a little, yeah." He replied.

"Huh." You muttered in realization. "Y'know, I didn't think everything would change, after that day.. But it did. And maybe it only changed because I made it change." You said out loud. "I forced exactly what I didn't want."

"No, Y/N. It wasn't fair for me to say that, especially since you had told me that's what you were afraid of." Tyler argued gently.

"Oh, I said that out loud." You nodded a little. "No, in all seriousness Lockwood, I freaked out. I wasn't ready to tell you for multiple reasons and I-"

"Wait, what reasons?" He interjected.

"What?" You asked, not registering what he had said.

He chuckled before responding. "Why didn't you want to tell me?"

"Oh.. Well, first off, you're you. I mean, you're Tyler Lockwood, the football star. The popular kid. I've known you since we were kids, even if you didn’t know me. And then high school came and somehow you and I became really good friends. Things were great before and I let my stupid feelings get in the way.” You confessed. "And then everything with Caroline. You seemed genuinely happy with her and I wasn't going to mess that up for you. No matter how that hurt..."

“Y/N/N... Things weren’t great. I was hiding something from you too.” He said carefully. "And sure, I liked being with Caroline but it wasn't the same as when I'm with you."

“Oh no.” You groaned. “Please don’t tell me you have a kid roaming around somewhere..” You tried to joke. It drew a small laugh from him which made things a little easier.

“When we were kids, you thought I didn’t know you... But I did. I noticed everything about you before I even knew I was noticing it, hell before I started noticing girls at all. The way you wore pigtails every Friday, even through high school. You had something blue everyday, whether it be your jewelry, your clothes, or even your hair ties. You had this tendency to hum songs while you were coloring and then as you got older as you were writing.” He gushed.

You gently placed your hand on his shoulder as you realized he was getting a bit flustered. A gentle pink flush had settled on his face and neck. His complexion had nearly matched his tie. He sighed heavily, visibly giving in to your touch. Could it be that he was confessing something like what you had told him a month ago? Is it possible that Tyler Lockwood, the boy that brought you to the clouds and through hell, was harboring feelings for you?

“Ty...” You smiled softly. You couldn’t help but smile. Growing up, you had always been in your own world. Of course, the girls were there but there were things that were just part of you. Like the humming, the blue, the pigtails. Those were all minuscule things that you had hardly even noticed yourself doing. But all this time, Tyler had noticed. “I still wear something blue..” You commented, flashing the soft blue bracelet you added before leaving earlier that night.

“I know.” He said with a small smile. “Look all I’m trying to say is that things changed after last month. There’s no denying or arguing. But they changed in a way they shouldn’t have.”

“How should they have changed then?” You asked with a small, confused laugh as you took your hand away, letting it join the other that rested on the table. You couldn’t believe what he was saying. At first, it seemed like your relationship with Tyler could be salvaged and rebuilt into something new but now, now it seemed like it was nothing but rubble. You two would be downgraded to being coworkers for Klaus. Simple head nods of acknowledgment when passing. “Sorry, I’m just really lost here, Tyler. You mean a lot to me, you know that. And I can't lose you. Not with everything still being so new.”

He stared at you for a second, processing your words. You saw the recognition light up his eyes as his eyebrows raised and he began to shake his head. "Oh no no no. Not like that. Not like that at all. Y/N, I- I- I like you, a lot actually. And I didn't want to say anything before because Klaus was always around."

You realized he was about to go on another rant. One thing that most people didn't see in Tyler, was his lack of eloquence in his speech. When he had a lot to say or had something important to say, sometimes he got tripped up or he would talk too much. He would say more than he needed to, which would lead to him saying the wrong thing.

In an effort to silence him, you closed the distance between you two, wrapping your arms around him tightly. He tensed for a moment before melting into your embrace. His arms came around you just as tight. You nuzzled your face against his chest slightly and you felt him rest his head on top yours.

"You were about to ramble." You mumbled your explanation against him. His chest shook with laughter, drawing a wide smile that he couldn't seep

to come from you. You realized how warm a hug from Tyler was. It felt safe, like you weren't tied up in supernatural nonsense. Like you weren't fighting for a family you didn't know. Like you hadn't lost everything in a war you didn't want. It felt like you were just a kid in love.

"Y/N." He said quietly, as if your name was only his to say.

"Yeah, Tyler?" You replied, stepping back slightly to meet his eyes. His eyes were soft as they met yours, full of admiration and love.

"Do you want to dance?" He asked with a sly smirk.

You realized a slow song had begun. You glanced around, seeing Elena with Stefan and Caroline still with Klaus. You knew if you stepped onto that dance floor with Tyler, the questions would never stop. But really, who cared?

You took one of Tyler's hands in yours and pulled him to the dance floor. You linked your fingers together and he gently pulled you close. His hand was on the small of your back, keeping you pressed against him.

"So where do we go from here?" You asked quietly as you two gently swayed to the music.

"Wherever you want." He replied with a small shrug. "I love you, Y/N. And I can wait. This probably seems really sudden so if you need some time to decide if this is really what you want, I can wait. "

You smiled widely, leaning up to place a soft kiss on his cheek. "I love you too, Tyler. I have for a while, obviously, which means I've been waiting for just as long. I don't need time. I know what I want and I want you."

"So you're my girl then?" He questioned with a proud smile.

"It's about damn time, Lockwood." You teased, completely over the moon and head over heels for the boy in front of you.

The next day, the girls came over while you and Tyler were on the couch watching a random movie. Your head was on his chest while his arm was around your waist. You were absent-mindedly toying with the fingers of his other hand, tracing his name with your index finger against his palm. They burst through the doors, shouting your name and demanding an explanation, especially when they saw how you two were laying on the couch. So together, you and Tyler gave them the basic explanation.

#tyler lockwood #tyler lockwood imagine #tyler x reader #tvd #tvd imagine #vampire diaries #the vam #vampire diaries imagine #klaus tvd #klaus mikaelson #klaus imagine #klaus x reader

[liloelsagranger]

Tag Meme - Revenge

I was tagged by @rocketshippingassbutt, thanks mate :)

last

drink - black tea

phone call – my boyfriend

text message - my boyfriend

song you listened to – Move it by Technotronic

time you cried – just a few minutes ago

ever

dated someone twice? – no

kissed someone and regretted it – yes

been cheated on – I think so, yes

lost someone special - yes

been depressed – unfortunately, yes

gotten drunk and thrown up – no, I’m emetophobic, throwing up scares me so I try to keep within bounds

fave colours

ice blue

lavender

orange

in the last year have you…

made new friends – YES! A., M. and N. and N., plus my lovely friends I met on tumblr

fallen out of love - no

laughed until you cried – yeah, my dad’s solutions for questions from the Asperger’s test were just freaking hilarious

found out someone was talking about you – oh yes, those stupid brats at my last job called me “worthless” and “a wimp” for having graduated in Near Eastern Archaeology, that’s how they congratulated me...

met someone who changed you – no

found out who your friends are - yes, S. is my angel

kissed someone on your facebook friends list - my boyfriend

general

how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – Pretty much everyone, except for 2 or 3 people

do you have any pets -  I had a dog called Blacky, she almost turned 16, but died in 2012, I miss her so much

do you want to change your name - I’m quite happy with Melanie and my second name sounds nice too

what did you do for your last birthday – My boyfriend and I went out for dinner at a local restaurant in my hometown

what time did you wake up today – about 7.15 a.m.

what were you doing at midnightlast night – sleeping

what is something you can’t wait for – more income, getting accepted for Graduate School

what are you listening to right now – nothing, but I’m def going to watch some Netflix later

have you ever talked to a person named tom – yes, that was my ex-Latin teacher’s name and the name of a renowned lecturer in Fribourg

something thats getting on your nerves – for the last five years, I’ve been feeling nauseous after every meal... it drives me crazy

most visited website - Facebook

hair colour – dark dark brown

long or short hair – long hair

do you have a crush on someone – James from Team Rocket

what do you like about yourself – My eyes and my rap-skills

want any piercings? – never, that mus hurt so much

blood type – not sure

nicknames – Mele, Melä, Meli, Salami, Köbi, Efeu, Hermine, Jessie, Melusch, Zwärg

relationship status - in a relationship

zodiac - Sagittarius

pronouns - ? not sure what I’m supposed to answer

fave tv shows – The King of Queens, Pokémon, Scooby Doo, The Smurfs, Cold Case, CSI: Las Vegas, Mannezimmer, Fascht e Familie

tattoos – none

right or left handed - right handed

ever had surgery - no

piercings – none

sport – football

drinking – I enjoy a Baccardi Breezer at the beach

i’m about to watch – Netflix, probably the second episode of “Mindhunter” or “Vampire Diaries” or just another scary movie

waiting for – better days

want - have lunch or dinner without feeling nauseous afterwards, join Graduate School and find some motivation to update my fanfictions and my dissertation

get married – I really want to get married one day

career – lecturer at the University, wrestler, rapper or actress

which is better

hugs or kisses - kisses

lips or eyes - eyes

shorter or taller - taller

older or younger - older

nice arms or stomach - don’t care

hookup or relationship - relationship

troublemaker or hesitant - I would love to say troublemaker, but I’m a coward, so I go for slightly hesitant, but still up to do some crazy stuff once in a while

have you ever

kissed a stranger - yes, blah

drank hard liquor - yes, oh Ochse, what wonderful times

lost glasses - no

turned someone down - yes, he wanted to kiss me, so I just turned away, haha

sex on first date - no

broken someones heart - yes and I’m terribly sorry, but he was so much younger than me and I thought we were just good friends

had your heart broken - yes, but he’s been my boyfriend for over five years now, so I forgave him ^^

been arrested - hmm, no

cried when someone died - yes

fallen for a friend - yes

do you believe in

yourself – sometimes, I believe in my rap-skills

miracles - yes, I do

love at first sight – well, it happened to me, so yes

santa claus - not really

kiss on a first date - why not

angels - yes, because I know S.

other

best friend’s name - Sina

eye colour – dark dark brown

fave movie - Drei Männer im Schnee, The cat and the canary, Cube, Scream 3, Final Desitnation 3, Jumanji (the original!), Road House, Dirty Dancing, Disney’s Aladdin/Alice in Wonderland (cartoon)/Lion King/Mulan/Herules/Tarzan/Lilo and Stitch, Harry Potter

fave actor – Günther Lüders, Paul Dahlke, Claus Biederstaedt, Nicole Heesters, Margarethe Hagen, Emma Watson, David Hewlett, Nicole de Boer Hmm, I tag @lalalastilldreaming and @estrelarabyss :) Feel free to do it, you don’t have to though

[cosmos-five]

ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇʟʟᴏᴡ ʙᴏʏ » ᴄʜᴇɴʟᴇ 1/3

─ ʜɪɢʜ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ x ɢʜᴏsᴛ ᴀᴜ

↠ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴛʜᴇ sʟɪᴍ ʜᴏᴏᴅᴇᴅ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʟʟᴡᴀʏ ᴘᴀsᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜsɪᴄ ʀᴏᴏᴍ ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴄᴀᴅᴇᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ﹐ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪɢᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

↠ ᴄʜᴇɴʟᴇ x ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ﹐ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴍᴇɴᴛ/sʟɪᴄᴇᴏғʟɪғᴇ

btw ;; the reader will be introduced in part two of this little series thing  (ʃƪ'⌣’)

also credit to nakamotens for the cute ass gifset of nct dream omg

HELLO i’m here (sadly) with a headcannon kind of thing for this idea

it could honestly be a fanfic on it’s own but you’ll see more of chenle’s presence in the other nct dream stories i’m planning

moving along

chenle was such a happy person during his lifetime. a very lovable kid in his academy, his family, his close friends and outside of school

he made everyone smile no matter what the situation was and his hyper energy rubbed off on everyone else majority of the time

“sunshine” to “loud kid” went around the academy

he had a good amount of friends but of course! nothing replaced the dream for kids crew

dream for kids crew was for the boys in the academy who came here on scholarship or had a difficult home life

everyone in it valued the after school activities, random field trips to theaters or any other event someone mentioned and then the friendships everyone made with each other

the dream kids typically got their scholarship based on what they were strong in (e.g music theory, any instrument, sports, science, the art department, math, languages)

the academy particularly loves these boys (and girls because they have their own crew/program!) since they ended up usually being the success stories

chenle was determined to be one of those kids, the kids who had their photo taken for the wall with a ribbon on the side of it LOL

see chenle use to play the piano

he was really fucking good at it and he spent hours upon hours crafting the quality of the sounds that came out

his home life was a struggle but it was filled with warmth and love

chenle came from a pretty poor family consisting of his single father, his grandmother and younger sister who was only in pre school when he passed away

his mother had walked out on the family for another man so chenle didn’t really see her much except for holidays and sometimes birthdays if she wasn’t angry at his father

he didn’t really care if she did visit

his grandmother’s homestyle cooking, his father’s hearty laugh and his little sister whining to be held by him was all he needed

chenle discovered the piano when he entered into the academy

at first, he didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do since he was only six years old but as time went on… he was confused

he didn’t know what to do

he tried out astronomy with renjun but he wasn’t as stellar at it like his best friend

jaemin suggested joining the book club he’s in but after reading one chapter of a thick novel, he gave up

mark convinced him to do soccer but met with the words of “no thank you” because chenle knew those jerseys were itchy

jisung said to join the art community with jeno or come with him to an ap algebra class but chenle didn’t agree with any of those

haechan reminded him to be gentle with himself and wait it out

of course chenle got frustrated and vowed to be undecided for the rest of his life

until he heard the piano piece clair de lune and he knew he wanted to learn that instrument

so! he begged his father for a keyboard on his thirteenth birthday and wow! his father managed to buy it for him

he still owns the keyboard and yeah, it’s in bad shape but mark put all these stickers he got from the local dollar store plus jisung scribbled “butter fingers” on it so he’ll keep it even if it breaks

cliche but he loves playing für elise and that’s one of his go to audition songs

funny story : since it is mentioned that he auditions with that song, the teachers there always say “chenle, can you please pick another piece? we heard this last week lol” and he’s like “uh?? but you know you like hearing it so no!” they gave him this look so he starts playing a jazz piece bye

chenle’s pretty much self taught because taking lessons couldn’t happen for him

so he watched youtube videos and before you know it, he wasn’t tone deaf!

he learned any song ranging from twinkle twinkle little star for his little sister to stevie wonder’s isn’t she lovely

he finally knew where he belonged in the academy and what he wanted to be

he wanted to be a conductor one day

no one questioned him or made him feel crummy for it not being a typical dream job

but he didn’t care either way since it was his soon to be life, not theirs

the dream kids support him so much!!

jeno even lets him conduct his flute practices from time to time

chenle during the practice : ( ՞ਊ ՞)

jeno during the practice : (`_っ´) “chenle keep moving your freaking arms im off beat”

renjun wouldn’t let him conduct his percussion practices though lmfao

jeno and renjun would be like “band geeks united!” and chenle would have stood there pouting and mocking their handshake since piano wasn’t really in band or orchestra

it soon becomes “musical geniuses united!”

playing the piano made him feel safe

it was a whole new world for him besides his own earbuds and the dream kids

SPEAKING OF THE DREAM KIDS lets get mushy before the angst

chenle loved all of them

definitely jisung but he loved the slightly older kids like mark and renjun

jeno was his main dude though for arcade games if they had either enough spare change or they somehow smoothly talked the owner to let them in. sometimes the latter worked.

jaemin helped him tackle vocabulary terms in their english courses and taught him how to properly learn the difference between effect and affect

he still didn’t know

haechan helped him with science homework and actually helped him pass with a c-

jisung!! oh jisung!! was his childhood friend, basically since toddler days since their families mingled during community church meetings and such

jisung always told chenle that they are brothers and that no matter what happens, they wouldn’t live life to the fullest without each other

this is random but i forgot to mention that they live in really small town as well so everyone knew everyone. tight community i suppose

back to the mushiness

everyone in the group cherished and let me tell you, PROTECTED HIM WITH THEIR LIVES! jisung and chenle was everyone’s little brothers

chenle enjoyed teasing them and laughing with them with his iconic laugh (wow i really just heard his laugh in my own head bye) probably screaming too when mark didn’t get him ice cream

everything was to be kept light hearted and fun since things at home were pretty shitty for everyone

now for the angst

well sad angst

it was around the autumn seasons and it happened to be close to thanksgiving so school was out and families planned their own dinner parties

jaemin had invited all the boys to his house for the different tastings of breads and cheese his parents were serving

chenle ate a lot as per usual but everyone kind of already figured that would happen

jisung and chenle walked home together that evening whilst chewing on the sugar cookies jaemin’s mother left them

the little conversations they have are silly but calming 

jisung and chenle pretty much talked about anything and loved adventures in general, even if it’s just these two they always manage to have fun

“when thanksgiving day is over, do you wanna go to the aquarium?”

“hm, sure, chenle. i’m gonna pay though. my dad gave me apology money.”

another random thing i forgot to mention but jisung and chenle have twinning skateboards i’m kinda crying about it

anyways

chenle’s aunt had decided to come down because she missed her brother and simply to eat her mother’s good cooking

chenle and his aunt were close you know, super close and whenever she came down to visit, they would go rollerskating

so she took him rollerskating and out for pizza before hopping back in the car to go home

on the way back, they did their own version of karaoke and it ended up being a huge laugh fest between the two

his aunt wanted to save this moment with him so she pulled out her phone

“we need pictures”

“yeah we definitely need pictures”

it was at a stop light

it wasn’t time for it change yet on either sides but the streets were empty and a car had decided to come through

during the pictures, in the camera finder, chenle could see the car swerving and coming straight for them

but before he say anything, all he saw was black and the white noise of ringing in his ears

his family had soon seen the manila folder with the words “hit & run, two dead, five minutes before death took place” labeled across it

chenle was identified by wearing a yellow hooded jacket and the receipt ticket from the skating rink lying next to his aunt with a small smile on his face

#chenle #nct dream #nct #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct imagines #nct scenarios #chenle scenarios #chenle imagines #nct dream au #nct au #chenle au #**my writings #**creations #this au makes my heart ache i love it so much im already working on the other boys

[zoemurph]

blistering feet, ch2: warm up

on ao3  1

yup i dont know anymore. hope youre having a good week, im suffering and college is horrific

tw: panic attack. a lot is the same as that first day of school scene through waving through a window, so keep that in mind

Evan knows his mother means well, but he’s also pretty sure she’s somehow out to kill him.

Which isn’t true! She’s trying her best and works long hours and pays for all his classes and therapy and medication and he’s just a burden that— that’s a huge expense. Which is why Evan can’t understand why over the summer she brought up moving dance studios to a more expensive one (even if it’s a little closer). He also can’t understand why she wants him to compete.

Competition is terrifying. And the idea of it makes him want to throw up. His hands start getting sweaty and his breathing gets shallow and everything gets bad.

His mom had said something about putting himself out there in his last year of high school. Doing things he fears and going outside his comfort zone.

Evan doesn’t know how to tell her that everything is outside his comfort zone.

Which is why instead of thinking about the fact that he has his first class at the new studio in two days or writing a letter like Doctor Sherman always wants him to, he’s laying in bed scrolling through some dance forum Jared signed him up for a while back.

Most of the posts and threads don’t get much of a reaction from him— some people are very open about where they dance and use the forum to discuss classes and teachers and (if bribed correctly) studio secrets, but Evan tries to remain as anonymous as possible. He doesn’t have a name on his profile, his username has no indication of who he is, his icon is the silhouette of a dancer doing an arabesque against a tree, and the most anyone can tell about his location is his timezone. The only one who knows who he is is Jared.

Jared, who created an account for Evan, which Evan immediately deleted because he couldn’t figure out how to change the username and he could not have a username like that. Surprisingly and thankfully, Evan’s online persona is one of the few secrets Jared has managed to keep.

Evan rolls his eyes when he comes across of Jared’s posts.

(5:32 pm) yalikejazz: FUCK ballet ↳ (5:47 pm) checkyourattitude: Fuck you

After posting his response, Evan goes back to scrolling. The posts kind of blur together into a mess of advice, complaining, and screaming about song choices that no one can share without studio heads get angry. He’s squinting at a really long rant about fake eyelashes from someone with the username ‘fondueforfrogs’ when he gets a text from Jared.

From: here comes that boi To: fake friend      i know your username evan fuck you too

From: fake friend To: here comes that boi       I know you d o

From: here comes that boi To: fake friend       ha ha very funny       i had tech today so fuck off

Evan rolls off his bed. He hasn’t stretched in a few days and being in pain during warm up doesn’t sound like a great way to start at a new studio. If he can minimize the things he has to worry about, that’d be great.

From: fake friend To: here comes that boi       Id rather  be in tech than in a ocmpetition class

Evan is perfectly content spending the rest of his days privately practicing solos in the studio. One recital a year was bad. At least one competition a month during the season is too much.

From: here comes that boi To: fake friend       yeah but youre fucking weir d

Evan rolls his eyes and leans down and touches his toes. He lays the phone on the floor in front of him so he can still see Jared’s messages as he stretches. He turns his feet out into first position and does a slow demi plié, stretching out his back as much as possible. Something in his back pops and with a sigh, Evan stretches a little further.

From: here comes that boi To: fake friend       comps are great you get to spend an entire weekend wiht me

Evan ignores Jared’s text until he’s sitting on the floor stretching out his hamstrings.

From: fake friend To: here comes that boi       Yeah that sound s like a lot of fun       I sitll blame you and  your moms for thi s

Jared’s moms always go on and on about how great competitive dance has been for Jared. Whenever they talk about it, Jared rolls his eyes and calls them dramatic, but Evan knows better. Jared always seems happier after he’s spent long periods of times with dance friends. A group that Evan is now awkwardly edging in on.

Him and Jared aren’t actual friends, they’re just family friends.

From: here comes that boi To: fake friend       fuck off im super fun       dude i t might suck but youll get over it       its really not that bad       plus itll make your mom happy

Evan leaves the texts on read and works on his oversplits.

 Walking to the studio kind of sucks, but the shorter walk actually makes it worse. Now, Evan can get to the studio faster. And everything can go horribly wrong faster.

When he opens the studio door, he’s welcomed by a waiting room filled with loud elementary schoolers and their parents.

All classes start today, that includes non competitive classes.

Evan weaves his way through the yelling children to the front desk. “H-hi I’m um— I’m a competitive da-dancer? And...new so I’m just wondering where I—” He squeezes the strap of his bag and tries to stop himself from rambling.

The woman at the desk smiles. “Welcome to Elite, then, sweetheart. I’m Alyssa and I’m here most days if you ever need anything. I teach some of the babies.” She gestures to the kids running around the waiting room. “Most of the competition classes are in the extension of the studio.” She leans forward to point toward a set of stairs. “If you go up the stairs, there’s a room of cubbies where all the comp kids leave their things. Then if you go down the hall and to the left, you should see all the competition studios. They’re all labeled and there’s a schedule up in the cubby room that should tell you what studio to go to for what class. If you need any help, all the dancers are very nice and would be happy to show you where to go. Have a good class!”

Alyssa turns back to her computer and Evan has to take a moment to try and process all that information without freaking out.

Stairs. He can do stairs.

There’s no door on the entrance of the storage room. A few people are sitting on the floor, one stretching and the others scrolling on their phones while laughing about something Evan is not privy to.

He left early because he was anxious about being late, but now he’s anxious about being early. Perfect.

Evan takes out his ballet flats and puts his bag in a cubby by the door and sits down as far away from the other people in the room as possible. Not that it helps.

“Are you new?” the girl who’s stretching asks suddenly.

Evan looks up with a jolt, noticing that she is a lot closer now than she was before. “W-what?”

“New,” she repeats. “Are you new? I don’t recognize you.”

“I— yeah, yeah. I’m…new.” Evan ducks his head and hopes the conversation will end. He recognizes her from school — it’d be impossible not to considering she does everything — but it’s not surprising she doesn’t remember him. Evan isn’t sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

“I’m Alana.”

“Evan,” he mutters.

“What happened to your arm?” Alana asks.

Evan winces. “I uh— I broke it. I was climbing a tree…”

“Oh really? My grandma broke her hip getting into the bathtub in July.” Evan’s eyes widen. “That was the beginning of the end, the doctors said. Because then she died.”

Evan stares at her.

Is he supposed to respond to that? What’s the socially accepted way to react to someone you’ve just met telling you that?

Alana stands suddenly. “I have to go. Have a good class!” She steps around Evan and is gone.

Evan stares at the spot she was sitting in for a second before he pulls on his other ballet flat.

A bag is dropped onto the floor next to him and his heart almost leaps out of his chest.

“Hey nerd,” Jared says, tossing shoes into a cubby.

Evan takes a shallow breath. “H-hey.”

“Can’t believe you made it without getting hit by a car.”

Evan picks at his cast. “You’re— that’s not helping, Jared.”

“Yeah, yeah I get it.” Jared grabs Evan’s good arm and yanks him to his feet. Jared pats Evan’s cast. “How you doing, acorn?”

Evan furrows his eyebrows. “Can we, like, not call me that?”

Jared shrugs. “Think you can survive a few classes?”

“No.”

Jared snorts. “Brutal. If you can survive a class with Oana, you can survive anything.”

Evan thinks otherwise.

Jared pulls them away from the doorway and further into the storage room to let the other girls in the room out. “Seriously, get over it. We all suffer for our parents.”

“Ha, yeah but—”

Evan cuts himself off as someone stalks into the storage room, dumping his bag into a cubby without giving Evan or Jared a second glance.

Until Jared decides to open his mouth.

“Hey, Connor. Haven’t seen the hair down in a while and I’m loving the length. Very school shooter chic.”

Evan wants to die. More than usual.

Very slowly, Connor turns around. He stares at Jared with scary and almost empty looking eyes and Evan realizes he knows this Connor. Because this Connor is Connor Murphy, who’s been in Evan’s grade for years but Evan has avoiding for almost as long because Evan avoids everyone.

“I was kidding,” Jared says. “It was a joke.”

Evan can literally feel the floor opening up beneath him.

“Yeah, no, it was funny. I’m laughing.” Connor leans forward. “Can’t you tell? Am I not laughing hard enough for you, Kleinman?” he hisses.

Jared laughs awkwardly. “You’re such a freak.” He darts around Connor and skids out the door.

Oh no.

Evan coughs. Laughs. Makes…some sort of noise. Because he’s panicking and doesn’t know what to do and his body is freaking out and everything is uncomfortable and awful and he doesn’t know how this day could go so bad so fast.

Connor’s eyes snap to him. “What the fuck are you laughing at?”

Evan freezes. “What?”

“Stop fucking laughing at me!” Connor snaps.

“I’m not—”

“You think I’m a freak?!”

“I wasn’t—”

“You’re the fucking freak!” Connor shouts. He shoves Evan back toward the wall. “Get the fuck to class.” Connor snatches his bag from the cubby and storms out of the room.

Evan stumbles backward until his back hits the wall. His knees give out and he crumples to the ground and his nails scratch at the plaster of his cast as he tries to figure out how breathing works again and he has class he has class he has class he has— 

“Are you okay?”

Evan’s eyes snap up and there’s Zoe Murphy. She’s frowning down at him with her hair tied up in a near perfect ballet bun and is offering a hand to him.

“I- I’m just—” Evan takes her hand and lets her help him up.

“Did something happen with my brother?” she asks, slipping a bag off her shoulder. “I just saw him storm out of here and— he can be awful. It’s probably best just to ignore him when he’s in a mood.”

“Oh.”

“Evan, right?” Zoe asks. “Jared mentioned you. I think I’ve seen you around at school.”

“Yeah. Evan. It’s Evan.” Evan rocks back on his heels.

“I’m Zoe.” She shoots him an awkward smile.

“I know,” he says quickly. “I-I mean I’ve— I went to a jazz band concert? I like jazz— I love jazz. Jazz band, not all jazz but jazz band. That’s so weird, I’m sorry.” Evan can hear Jared laughing at him in his mind.

Zoe gives him a sort of confused look as she puts away her bags and pulls out a waterbottle and her flats and pointe shoes. “Uh, okay? Are you…going to ballet with Oana?”

Evan nods.

“Same. Most of the senior comp kids are in it. The ballet classes are the biggest ones, since they aren’t competitive, they’re just required.” She gestures with her pointe shoes. “Do you know where the studio is?”

“N-no,” Evan admits, trying not to cringe.

Zoe smiles at him again and it’s a little like an angel is saving him. “Follow me.” 

—«·»—

After Oana’s class — it’s really not that bad, Evan has no idea what Jared’s problem with it is — Evan pulls out a notebook and rips out a piece of paper and scribbles out the beginnings of a letter before he can forget what he wants to say. Whenever Doctor Sherman asks “how did you feel this week?” Evan feels his mind blank, so despite the fact that he trashes most of his letters, they do help him sort of place his emotions throughout the week.

It doesn’t take too long for Zoe to show up in his words.

#evan hansen #connor murphy #jared kleinman #zoe murphy #deh fanfic #my fanfic #blistering feet #bleh

[hoodedlouis]

my review of harrys show

this is gonna be long & its mainly for twitter but hi this is from his radio city show

so im gonna get the ‘negative’ side out of the way first, i may review each and every song but who knows yet im just excited to do this 

THE SETLIST- should not be how it is, its just an odd mix and as much as i love ever since new york, it should not be the opening at all. I agree with only angel being the opening cause i mean cmon with that lead up & its fast paced but not too much so its fun to start, i just think that having those like not slow but not fast songs first mixed with two ghosts does not work, it should be only angel, ever since new york, carolina, ever since new york, and then the rest how it is (mainly bc i cant remember the setlist loooooollololooloolol) 

as much as i love just a little bit of your heart, it really doesnt fit, it really is kind of random and the sadness of it just doesnt really fit where it is and idk its just an odd cover to do once ur like in the setting and not just watching from videos, i think he needs another hyped up one to play, idk what he would play but i think he needs something to really get the crowd going, also story of my life should not be the second cover im sorryvfurebf but like i and maybe half the crowd blanked on the words plus stockholm IS SO GOOD CMON

NOW THE POSITIVE, lets talk about him in general because jesus fucking christ, if you dont know i was second row for this show in the pit and it was fucking insane, he’s beyond gorgeous and pics do not show his full potential, his voice is actually that good like i was shocked with all his running and jumping just how fucking good he sounded, he’s so raspy and really does his job well, he was made to be on stage its so clear to see how much he loves it and really gives his all during his shows, i could not take my eyes off him and i just swayed along during the sad ones and went insane during the fast ones while my eyes never left him, he really does trap you in and connects with the crowd, SPEAKING OF CROWD, the fucking attention he pays to the crowd is insane, yes he caters to the first two rows a lot but he makes sure to connect to the back and upper and he was itching the entire time to climb those stairs im so happy he did, he has such a presence that i really cannot describe you really can only experience it and i hope you all get the chance to be second row for him, ever since his show ive been feeling so weird like i actually ache to see him again, i miss him terribly and this show left such a lasting impression on me because it was just that good like truly mind blowing once i think back to it

KIWI GOES OFF CAN I TELL YALL THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW, i was lucky enough to hear it 2.5 times and he fucking owned every single time, that song gets the crowd going so much no matter where u sit and he makes sure to sing in your face (i would know i had the pleasure of screaming im having your baby with him while he was in my face) WOMAN IS SO SEXY LIVE LIKE WE ALL KNOW ITS SEXY BUT ITS SEXY (he did not think my dancing was sexy https://twitter.com/hoodedlouis/status/914613372087361536 see that face from the beginning to :05 yeah that was at me LMAO HE LOVES ME) what makes you beautiful is his pride and joy that man loves one direction and he loves the love we all still have for that band

NOW THE SAD ONES, two ghost really doesnt pack a punch for me live, idk why but like i zoned out for 5 seconds during it and i freaked over his note changes more than the song idk what it is but jfc was i not looking around for louis behind those curtains, SWEET CREATURE RUINED MY SOUL that is my favorite song and it really really hits you, you can feel how that man feels about whoever hes singing about (louis) and u can tell the crowd isnt focusing on who its for we just make it about him and sing back to him, i just remember sobbing along while singing and he has such a look on his face when he lets the crowd sing you bring me home to him because he gets it and he knows, FTDT > MMITH BY A LONG SHOT, before i didnt care for them much they were on the same level for me, LIVE FTDT HITS TOO FUCKING HARD, it had me crying and the tears would not stop its heartbreaking and you can hear/feel it from him, mmith is kinda just eh to me like its still a lot for him but he has a lot more emotion for ftdt, he makes this speech either before the chain or sott but it kinda bases around sott and let me tell you. hearing sott live. takes you on the worst ride, you just go back to that video of him walking before it came out and you remember being so excited and shocked and i went back to my night in my room waiting till 4am to hear it on bbc 1 and you feel your first reaction and u feel how much that meant to him, he looks around the crowd while singing we got to get away while the crowd gets louder and watching his eyes he is just really taking it all in nd cant believe he gets to do this

overall, as i sit here in public trying not to cry over it, this concert is my overall first favorite and has left such an impact on me that i will never be able to move on from, im seeing him at msg and i know it wont be the same bc this was beyond intimate this was on another level where it felt like it was just you and him, i miss him terribly i feel like i left a bit of my heart with him and you will never understand how much i feel bc i cant describe it, harry styles is a legend no matter how much u wanna take away from certain things due to other things, hes got something to him and he knows it and he thrives on the crowd and i love him so much i cant even tell you, i am so so lucky to have gone and been so close and to have had moments with him where i felt like it was just me and him in the room as old friends i hope you all get to see him and experience the heart wrenching and heart swelling experience i got  

#harry styles live #harry styles live on tour #me #my review

[r-o-se]

Produce 101 S2 Episode 9 summary nice nice very nice 10/10

first off the eliminated trainees and LAST SEASON TRAINEES got more screentime than half of the trainees lkrjelj im so mad lol anyways lets do this jake paulers

1.      Oh nice we start with flashback scenes from the last elimination great good amazing I love pain

2.      BoA back at it again with giving kids heart attacks

3.      Oh my fucking god WHAT they’re…. They’re changing the number of debuting people*? Why? What? They’re revealing it after this evaluation…. Why….

4.      Anyways the benefit is 220k votes, 100k for the member who brought in most votes and 20k for the rest PLUS the winning team will get to present their song on MCountdown

5.      Open up team lost so many members they’re left with only 4,everyone from Daniks training group got eliminate. I know you know and Showtime also need one extra member

6.      Oh Little Girl and Never are going to vote people out from the team and the teams that lack members are going to choose new members from the ones who got voted out

7.      Everyone are trying to save their asses to satay in their teams now

8.      Oh my fucking god Minhyun just shaded Haknyeon lmaooo

9.      ‘Ong why did you move are you uncomfortable?’ ‘What am I, an amateur?’

10.   Open up only has Baekho, Danik, Kenta and Yongguk right now

11.   Moonbok gets eliminated from Oh Little Girl riperoni poor dude

12.   Sungwoon, Haknyeon, Youngmin and Seonho get eliminated as well

13.   I feel so so sorry for Seungwoon he tries so hard and his vocals are AMAZING and he looks super cute and is so determined with his skills and he is a great dancer but people won’t fucking give him attention please take better care of my boy he is so cute and so skilled

14.   They actually chose Guanlin over Sungwoon. Why. I love Guanlin but Sungwoon is so much more skilled. This hurts. Let my boy be center. Let my boy sing. L

15.   LMAO THEY DEADASS ELIMINATED SUNGWOON SO THEYD HAVE MORE SINGING PARTS COME THE FUCK ON

16.   Danik will choose people now, he picks Seonho, Youngmin and Haknyeon. Why Haknyeon. Pick Sungwoon. Why does no one like Sungwoon. Let Sungwoon sing. Bitch

17.   Jisung chooses Sungwoon as his vocal and Moonbok automatically goese to I Know You Know

18.   TAEHYUN EXPOSED SUNGWOON THAT HE HATED THE SHOWTIME SONG AAAHAHAHAHHA

19.   Oh Little Girl team is sad and moping and choose the center from Ren and Jihoon. Ren really wants it and honestly he has a good reason to be it since Jihoon is popular and not in danger at all

20.   SOMEONE WROTE JIHOON DOWN AS PARK WINK HOW CUTE AKJGRNK

21.   Anyways they do a blind written vote and Ren became center WOOO BABE GOOD GOING!!!

22.   They have another nemesis as well, Gunhee vs Sewoon for main vocal

23.   Sewoon has never been main vocal apparently??? What is this blasphemy??? Blocked LET HIM SING BUT ALSO LET GUNHEE SING HE IS IN DANGER IM CONFUSED AND SAD

24.   They did a blind vote, Baejy was thee only one who voted for Gunhee, others for Sewoon and Sewoon got the main vocal part. Gunhee takes the sub-vocal part from Baejy

25.   Sungwoon just expressed his heartbreak over being rejected by the Never team, people are laughing with him, offering him the leader spot and he’s like ‘Weeeeeeellll I’d like to be center actually J’ FEARIJKJFEKR I LOVE MY BOY Jisung and Samuel got heart attacks from that I swear to god

26.   Taehyun keeps giving him small snide remarks and it’s BEAUTIFUL let Hotshot live

27.   Anyways the Showtime center is Samuel rip Jisung and Sungwoon

28.   IM CRYING JISUNG TOOK OFF HIS CENTER STICKER AND SUNGWOON PICKED IT UP AND STUCK ON HIMSELF LET MY BOY BE CENTER I BEG PLEASE PLEASE

29.   Sammy boyo has problems reaching the high notes poor baby

30.   HYUNBIN BAB VOLUNNTEERS AS LEADER FOR I KNOW YOU KNOW AND EVENTHO DONGHYUN VOLUNTEERS AS WELL HYUNBIN GETS THE SPOT DO WELL BABE I LOVE U

31.   I hope Donghan can stay center this dude is so good hearted and gorgeous but low ranked he deserves better NVM RIP taedong is center

32.   Kenta and Seonho and Haknyeon all volunteer as Open Up centers

33.   FHRAEID THEYRE DOING THE CRINGEFEST OF FACIAL EXPRESSION COMPETITION SAVE ME

34.   It looks like Youngmin has adopted Seonho this is cute as fuck he keeps asking how others think about him

35.   They are blind voting again, Baekho, Yongguk and Danik choose Haknyeon, Youngmin and Seonho Kenta but….. Yongguk is like…. Entirely edited out from here lol what did he do @MNET STOP HATING ON CHILDREN but at least Kenta has screentime it’s the small things that matter

36.   Haknyeon has a loooot of problems with both choreo and singing and Baekho is guiding him a lot this is so cute ajeofljlkeslvnl

37.   Anyways Never is practicing and Minhyun gets chosen to be the center literally everyone are favouring him

38.   Never team are doing reallllllly well, they have no aired problems lol

39.   Ong is dumb as fuck and just claps slates thanks Mnet true quality content we all needed

40.   Rlaejfoaiejsof Big Woojin is filming Jonghyun who’s like ‘DON’T AIR THIS’ lol too late babe

41.   Someone nominate Woojin for the best cameraman those clips are SO GOOD LET THAT BOY DEBUT

42.   This team is so pure seriously

43.   They are preparing for the stage everyone look so good this is SINFUL KANG DANIEL SIT YO ASS DOWN

44.   THEY SHOWED JINWOO!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!! AND TAEWOONG AND JAEHAN!! MMO LIVES!! SUNGWOO IS THERE AS WELL

45.   Sammy bab is so taken aback by the crowd aw also seriously Jinwoo has gotten more screentime here in the crowd than the rest of the show combined

46.   Anyways back to practicing Triple H is there and literally everyone get so giddy when they see Hyuna SAME TBH but yeah all producers are there

47.   Showtime team really fuckin kills it during the showcase for the producers and Sammy babe gets praised a lot I’m HAPPY!!!

48.   Showtime stage is ALIVE and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! HOTSHOT BOYS!!!! LOOK SO GOOD!!!!!! PEACHY SUNGWOON AND ASHY TAEHEYUN!!!!!! THIS IS WHAT LIVING IS ALL ABOUT

49.   Fiaerjofiej they show the last season trainees more often than they show some of the current ones like damn u ever heard of Kim Yongguk?

50.   Showtime stage was SO LIT AND HAD SUCH GOOD VIBES!!!!!! THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD TAEHYUN GOT HIS DUMB LIL TONGUE OUT AND SAMMY DID THE RABBIT POSE

51.   Next up is I Know You Know and ppl are cheering really loudly for Hyunbin my heart hurts thank u everyone for loving my tall child

52.   This teams mood is pretty low since they’re all really low ranks I hope they can do alright

53.   The fucking slurping noses they record need to ALL be deleted and burned

54.   The producer for I Know You Know is suuuuuper tight up lol and wants everyone to be perfect BUT HE PRAISES HYUNBIN!!!!!!!! GOOD BABY IM PROUD!!! GOOD KID!!!!!

55.   Akaefhkdifhaseoifd all trainers are praising Hyunbin this feels like heaven I’m crying

56.   This team has the ‘we are probs gonna be eliminated anyways so let’s just have fun’ mentality and honestly? I love it good luck kids love ya do well

57.   Sunghyuk is so cute I can’t get over this small byoo and then theres Hyunbin whose legs are like what two meters long

58.   OPEN UP OPEN UP OPEN UP WOOOOOOOOOOO MY BOYSSS THEY SHOWED MMO YEEE

59.   Haknyeon is really lacking so they gotta change the center. Even Seonho can do it (the choreo and vocals at the same time) so anyways Yongguk is the center now but they didn’t even say his name jesus damn

60.   Never stage is a goddamn bedroom and Seonho pushed Kenta onto a bed and straddled him BOI WYD UR LIKE 12

61.   DANIEL KANG IS ILLEGAL!!!! FUCK THAT GUY!!!!!!! KANG DONGHO WHO!!!!! NOONE THEY CAN GO FUCK RIGHT OFF

62.   BAEKHOS VOCALS!!!!!! BRUH!!!!!

63.   KENTA GETTING ACTUAL SCREENTIME!!!!!!! AS WELL AS MMO LMAO MNET WHY COULDN’T U SHOW THEM BACK WHEN THEY WERE IN  THE SHOW

64.   It’s time for Oh Little Girl ye boiiiiiiiii

65.   Afijoiajos Jihoon has a new aegyo oaireojfijw it’s the Jooheons baby voice gugugaga thing I for once support Park McWink

66.   Jihoon is dressed up in all pink while others are monochrome black and white aaaaahhahaha

67.   OLG team has some problems apparently plus the center is still not clear. Baejy has problems with his vocals and Sewoon is helping I’m glad

68.   Sewoon does really well and gets praised by the producers and hes all jumpy and cute lil baby overall EVERYONE are doing really well Baejy as well this is so cute what a pure recording session

69.   Minki has prorblems concentrating and Gunhee is being a bit shady and holy damn Jihoon fuckin slammed thhe door and walked out

70.   Sewoon followed him and Jihoon apparently finds the groups atmosphere problematic and Gunhee is like tell us whats wrong?? (To Ren) and Ren walks out and slams the door even harder holy fucking god

71.   AAAAHAHHAHAHAH THE DUMBOS GUNHEE WALKED INTO THE ROOM AND THE TWO IDIOTS HUGGED AND GIGGLED WHATS GOIN ON

72.   DUMBASSES THIS IS A HIDDEN CAMERA AS A BDAY PRESENT TO SEWOON AND PARK WINK

73.   Jihoon looks shook af and hides his face in hands and Sewoon doesn’t really realize what’s going on and just claps along and then falls on his back oigjrolawirjo SOFT KIDS

74.   ‘We slammed the door too, this will definitely get into the trailer’

75.   Is eating cake with chopsticks a thing people do

76.   Aejofiejwafofi Jihoon looks like a McDonalds mascot I’m cryin

77.   Gunhee looks SO GOOD! BRO WTF HYUNGSEOB AS WELL

78.   And Mnet did Ren’s visuals dirty as literally Always

79.   Oh my triple H are visiting the never team and everyone are dying inside

80.   Everyone are freaking out and Guanlin is like oh hyungs came lol

81.   Everyone love the Never team and tbh? They deserve it the song is great the team is good and everything just fits

82.   Guanlin took the Never team to Cube HQ everyone are like woaaaaaaahhhhhh holy shiiiiiiiiiiitttt

83.   His locker is messy as fuck lol clean after yourself boy

84.   Krehhfnlakjwef hes presenting his first evaluation choreo he did with Seonho and others are able to follow it right away this is so funny lol

85.   ERAFKLAEN THE CUBE CHICKS WERE SUPPPOSED TO DO THE EVALUATION WITH A TROUBLEMAKER COVER BUT DIDN’T BECAUSE THEIR SKILLS WERE TOO INCONSISTENT THIS IS SO FUNNY DUDE I SAW THE VID BUT I DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO AUDITION WITH THAT AGELRIJFAEL

86.   THE SLAPPING SOUNDS WHEN GUANLIN HITS SEONHOS BUTT BOI UR LIKE 12

87.   This team is so giddy at every single little compliment and they’re also treating them as equals not trainees

88.   JAEWHAN IS RAPPING WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! KIM JAEHWAN!!!! MY BOY!!!! GODDAMN

89.   What the fuck is Hyojong wearing does he even see behind his hat

90.   AEAAAHAHAHAHAHAH HYOJONG ASKED WOOJIN TO SIGH INTO THE MIC AS AN EXTRA EFFECT THIS IS SO FUNNY FUCK EVERYONE ARE SIGHING AND BREATHING REALLY LLOUD

91.   Minhyun looks so good he has everyone whipped

92.   Ongs ‘everytime, everywere’ is…….. wow…………. Fuck……………. Why is he in danger of dropping like seriously yall he’s so good

93.   The vid keeps freezing every few seconds I hate this I’m just tryna look at Kim Jaehwan is this too much to ask for

94.   HYUNA LOOKS AT GUANLIN WITH SO MUCH AFFECTION THIS IS SO PURE

95.   Woojin got so much praise by the trainees they personally went down to praise them

96.   The team that got last place is I know you know…….. it only got 83 votes I’m super emo…. They really deserved better this is so sad…. Showtime got fourth with 135, Oh Little Girl got third with 398

97.   The jumps in votes are so fucking massive it feels so humiliating to see them all laid out like this….

98.   Ong repeated his really very totally hella etc etc thing and then Baekho copied it but added Japanese and Chinese as well aaahahah what an intellectual

99.   ANYWAYS Never got second with 443 votes and Open Up first with 552 THE TEAM IS SO FUCKING SHOOK AND CHEERFUL AND BUBBLY I LOVE THIS I AM REALLY HAPPY AND APPARENTLY BAEKHO ADOPTED SEONHO TOO AND FUCK IM SO EMO THIS IS SO GOOD AND PURE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

100.   DANIK IS SO HAPPY AND SMILEY THIS IS SO PURE AND SWEET I LOVE THIS

101.   The overall first place got 205 votes….. the entire I Know You Know team together had 83 votes…….. The entire last row, people like Woodam and Yehyun with two votes, all on the last row have 2-12 votes this makes me so sad poor kids

102.   KENTA GOT RANKED LAST IN OPEN UP IM SAD anyways the others from last to first are Youngmin-Yongguk- Seonho-Haknyeon and they don’t say if the first is Daniel or Baekho it’s the battle of Kang D’s I’m mad lol

103.   ??????? They only revealed where Minhyun ranked what the hell anyways hes 12th L that’s one hell of a fall

#produce 101 season 2 #broduce 101 #p101 #pd101 #pd101 s2 #pd101 season 2 #nuest #baekho #kang dongho #ren #choi minki #choi mingi #jr #nuest jr #kim jonghyun #pledis jonghyun #nuest jonghyun #hwang minhyun #ygk+ #kwon hyunbin #kim jaehwan #mmo #mmo trainees #kang daniel #kangdan #yoon jisung #kim jaehan #kim taewoong #joo jinwoo #park woodam

[mattyslittleworld]

Victory Lap

Gripping my skateboard while we walk up the steps of the Eltingville Train Station. Waiting for the train as I look over the small little town I grew up running after my dreams in. Coffee from the usual deli - only this time shits different. Way fucking different. Clothes the same. Company the same. But shits different. Were filming a little mini doc and were going from Bepas, taking the train to the ferry, then the ferry into Manhattan. Were out here. I haven't been back to this neighborhood, on this route, since we sold Bepas house. Im mad happy with my boys, but inside it definitely feels mad weird. The last time I was here I was dumped cold blooded, and all my friends said I was crazy and I found myself alone. On this route I wrote a lot of Setting Sail by BACK AND FORTH. Especially Little Bones. Staten Island imagery. Turnstiles, Princes Bay, etc. Forgot how beautiful the ferry is. Just sipping coffee and hanging out. I saw this little kid in a north face  - probably about 8 years old at most with his headphones in. Staring at the water on the deck outside next to us. I walked over to him and asked what he was listening to in his headphones. I noticed he was lost in it. Like I used to get. He said under his breathe, “beats”. That blew my fucking mind. This 8 year old kid WHO WAS BY HIMSELF MIND YOU is riding the ferry and listening to BEATS while he mumbles rhymes. I found that absolutely beautiful and SO complex. SOOOO complex. I told him I worked with Casanova and Albee Al and he started smiling and I told him to keep going and don't ever let anybody tell you shits impossible or stupid. Keep going and give this city we are staring at hell. What a trip. We got into the city and ended up in Times Square. We were burning the streets on skateboards bugging out yelling and having a great time. Out to dinner Colgan said Nipsey got shot 6 times and I froze. That man is my EVERYTHING. The self empowerment to get me up in the morning and shake off losses and the weight of the world comes from his message and music. While on top red step in the middle of Times Square, in the wind, Colgan yells from the bottom that he died from the gunshots. In that moment it felt like all of Times Square became silent and the world stopped turning. The weight of this - Jesus Christ. This changed the course of history and ill never forget that moment. We took the subway back downtown. Walking into the subway there was about 100 people and a man playing a Sax to a reggae ton beat. We walked with our heads hung cause of Nipsey in silence right into this crazy, community of ALL DIFFERENT CULTURES just dancing in the most majestic beautiful way in the subway. We sat there for an hour. It was so bitter sweet as nipseys soul hung over the city. Ill never be able to describe that feeling. It was a simple way the world showed me how people coming together can heal anything.

Yesterday on a run I get an invite to a private event Jesse Malin was holding on the Lower East Side. So again - I brought Rob and Colgan along. We didn't know what this really was - or who will be there, but we went out and im glad we did. What I appreciate the most about these two is on car rides, or walks, or just small talk in general, we talk about business. Trading business advice, or just maybe progression and financial support in general. My old friends used to sit in a Taco Bell parking lot and talking about other people. Now we talk about money. And how to make it. We park and walk up to the door and are greeted with access. I love this building and this place its so sick. The red vibe, the formal Gatsby - like attire and people who linger in the shadows. Cause everything is so dark. Jesse Malin is holding a private show, playing his whole new album plus the hits. I feel SOOOOO fortunate to be invited to this personally. Jakob Dylan is in attendance, Dude from Counting Crows is there. Jesse literally saved my life and pulled me out the mud. I feel like the luckiest punk in the tri state to be thought of. While the Saxaphones and trumpets are BLARING and everybody is dancing, I get a DM from a very very very famous rapper who got me through so much shit. Out of the blue. It says “Call me”. LITERALLY WHILE STARING AT JESSE MALIN. The inception and depths to this makes me want to cry. I am losing my mind. I exit the show im not even supposed to be at in the first place, to call this rapper who I feel like is just my ex girlfriend or somebody playing a joke on me, to call them. I feel like this is a joke. Boom its really him. He wants me to write him a song. Im outside this venue just freaking out internally. We say we’ll talk tomorrow more and get it done. I go back downstairs and enjoy the show. So amped - all three of us - we walk over to St. Marks to get dollar slices. Jesse is the king of NYC in his genre. This rapper is the new 50 Cent who is the king of NYC in HIS genre. How they both collided in that moment almost blew me into the stratosphere. So so grateful and humbled and just happy. All we wanted was dollar slices. We go cop them and just talk about how cool this is. After Colgan suggests we get Citi Bikes to ride around for a little bit. We buy 3 of them shits. As soon as we get on those bitches WE LIIIIIIITTTTTT. Burning through traffic!!!! Swerving and carving. Screaming in peoples faces. Throwing shit. We were fucking bandits on them shits!!!! We rode from St Marks all the way to Times Square. From Times Square all the way back down to the World Trade. World Trade all the way to Battery Park. Battery Park we just dropped the bikes and chilled in silence. Just feeling free and liberated. But not bum ass no job free. The type of free that youre on a life path confident free. I felt invincible. We rode by the water and the mansions. It was a movie. I was so inspiring to one day buy one of them. Wake up go to the kitchen on a Sunday see my family my wife my kids in the kitchen having breakfast, looking out the window drinking my coffee and seeing that view in the summer. Its possible. In this moment I realized we’re on our way and im so happy these fuck boys and fuck girls fucked all the way off because they're all dead beats still doing the same exact played out shit they were doing 4 years ago. From false toxic friendships like that ive learned how to treat people who come into my life now. EVEN IF THEY TALKING CRAZY who the fuck am I to know whats in their heart? To know their intentions? Always encourage and be there for them and to help AND TO KEEP THEIR BUSINESS BETWEEN YOU TWO AND NO ONE ELSE. Every single crazy thing I told my people who discouraged me - I did. But I don't do beef or negativity or issues or bad tension these days. So I wish all of them well, success, and good health. God speed. We went to see our old skate spots by battery park - I remember those days so well. Went up to the Brooklyn Banks and the guard said they'll be open by summer!!!! Skate city lets go!!! We rode all the way back to Ludlow St back to the car and stopped at a Mexican food truck to get burritos. We sat in literal New York city trash and ate them and they were so good. The Citi Bike Bell Bandits tore up the streets with burritos and bells private events dollar pizza soda and coffee. Again - another wonderful inspiring night in Manhattan with the bros. Cant wait for the summer. Cant wait for LIFE in general because my mind is blown and its proven to be full of endless opportunities if we apply the right energy. A 10 minute ride on Citi bikes turned into a 22 mile ride all over the fucking city full of laughs, shit talking, clowning, and beautiful inspiring energy accompanied by proper brotherhood and companionship. 115 collective shit. lets get it. lets sell out this pony show May 17th. 

[flannelizard]

KOkay So Kent Parson

Works in Disney World

is on crowd control duty for NYE, which is a fuckin nightmare

but they put him in the traffic bypass, so it could be worse

(fireworks viewing would be the worst)

he’s basically standing there listening to the same ten songs

all

night

long

like twelve hours

and he’s dancing along because what else does he have to do??? nobody is talking to him and he’s bored and if he keeps moving, his feet hurt less

about two hours in, this big tall russian dude comes lumbering up and says “im like your dancing!”

kent smiles and winks and is like “haha thanks! happy new years!”

two hours later

Russian dude comes back

three beers deep

russian dude is in a GREAT MOOD and comes and starts dancing with kent while his friend with the eyeliner rolls his eyes

“Tater come on, Jack and Bitty are waiting for us”

Tater (??) laughs and waves eyeliner guy off “Jack and BItty can entertain selves. Remember barbecue?”

“Please dont remind me. I still can’t use that bathroom without seeing zimms’ ass.”

Kent smiles at Tater and is like “go have fun with your friends. I’m just part of the furniture.”

Tater looks personally offended at that comment

“You are not furniture. You are person. Very cute person.”

kent is BLUSHING but he’s also not supposed to hit on guests because like. that’s bad

“oh you charmer, go on. have fun somewhere else.”

Tater sees his blush tho and winks “im be back later!”

ONE HOUR LATER

It’s ten pm. Kent is twelve hours deep into his shift and ready to go home

Tater shows up again

Kent can’t help but smile and get little butterflies “What happened to your friend?”

“He is find cute girl over in mexico. I’m leave him alone.”

“didn’t you have two others?”

“they not stop making out all night. Zimmboni rarely get tipsy. handsy guy”

Kent laughs and does not think about what it would be like to make out with Tater

(why does kent even remember his name??? this is ridiculous)

“And you don’t have a date? tragic!” Kent does not know why he’s saying this, it is so unprofessional he is so going to get a reprimand for this

Tater smiles tho and kinda sidesteps it and starts asking kent questions about himself 

“You are from New York! So you know cold!”

“Well, not like you, I’m sure. Plus I’ve been in florida for two years, so”

“Miss snow?”

“Like crazy. Used to play hockey in high school”

Tater, it turns out, also used to play hockey until he fucked up his knee. Now he works for an nonprofit helping people with HIV/AIDS and their families. 

Kent is IN LOVE

They talk for like half an hour and one of Kent’s coworkers keeps shooting him weird looks from where she’s stationed about 50 feet away. he wishes he could flip her off.

he’s still doing his job, he’s allowed to be social

finally tater says

“You will be here for midnight?”

Kent smiles and shakes his head “Nah, I get off at eleven. Which is...actually soon.”

Tater GRINS

“Good. I’m wait for you here. You change and come with me and my friends?”

It’s totally forward and kent would be freaked out if he hadn’t just spent the last half hour talking to him and kent just wants this one good thing, okay??? This year has sucked for him

“Okay. I’ll need some time to change tho. I don’t think you want to be hanging around me in my ill-fitting khakis”

“I’m want to be around you no matter what you wear”

Kent blushes 

“even if you are wear nothing.”

KENT B L U S H E S

kent gets off work

changes into his sweatpants and t shirt

(he wasn’t expecting to do anything after work except go home and kiss his cat at midnight)

he meets tater’s friends

does shots of tequila

(fuck he’s not gunna be able to drive home)

Midnight rolls around and kent is crying because fireworks shows always make him cry

They’re counting down

tater grabs kent’s wrist and spins him toward him

3

Kent’s heart is going to beat out of his chest

2

Tater smiles and licks his lips

1

Kent is going to faint if Tater doesn’t-

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!

Kiss him. 

#tp #patater #idk what im doing with my life

[hurtbymanysouls]

Another diary-like post

(Ignore if you dont wana read its that simple)

I kinda miss the way my life used to be. Always active and had plans almost all the time or someone to be seeing. But i guess thats part of growing up. Your friends get busy with work and relationships and school or whatever life shit they do. Then theres me no job no real education other than high school. Dropped out of college bc the stress made my panic attacks daily and constant due to deadlines. Work job to job never really able to stay somewhere for longer than 1-2 years. Or like ive been the last year being jobless and depressed. But hey atleast my music taste is amazing. And i applied to a job i really wanted today. I just hope im good enough to get it. Or get lucky enough to actualy get it.

I guess being dumped/broken up with really did change me. Ive always ended my relationships or we came to some kind of meeting about our feelings. But being left behind like trash really hurt. And barely being able to get closeure cuz they just ran and didnt look back...that hurt even more. Almost reminds me of my birth-father leaving the U.S and barely saying anything to me since. I cant even think about her without getting sick to my stomach. I STILL have dreams about you from time to time and i wakeup with a mix of emotions i cant even begin to explain. I hear these songs about love and it makes my skin crawl and heart sink. Or i see a cute couple in public or eating food together and all i want to do is cry and ignore the feelings. Push it all so far back it goes away for now or smoke so much weed i cant fucking think about it anymore. I want that again..a relationship a REAL relationship, someone to call my own and go to anytime and tell them whats on my mind without judgement without worrying they screenshot it and post it in their group chat to make fun of. Without even thinking about them ever leaving me. Making stupid pinky promises that i would keep till my death. Showing them dumb songs with cute lyrics that makes me think of them. I fear sometimes i’ll never have that again because im too picky and needy and anxiety ridden. I guess i’ll never know if i dont try right? But im so fucking scared of showing anyone the true me, it always ends up weirding them out or they just think im a freak. Or being left on read and never replied to. Just because i like weird things dosent mean anything. It dosent define who i am. Who knew my love for trauntulas, content creators, and thinking all of life is a simultion would make people think im a freak lul. I guess i just need someone as weird as me so they know what its like. Or maybe i need a normal person to balance out my weird nature, honestly i just want someone to have genuine feelings for me. Not forced not fake. No having people set us up together then it failing miserably.

Ever since 2018 i havent felt right and feel like everyday i spend sitting around depressed makes my life worse. I feel like i left a piece of what i was back then. But that piece of me can stay in 2018. I either crave attention or want everybody to leave me alone. Theres no in between. I just need to find the happiness within myself and make it grow. Watering it everyday and slowing growing it. I will shine again like i used to. Always as a kid i would say im super optomistic negativity always makes me feel weird. No more bad choices. No more nervous breakdowns or panic attacks when i should hold strong ive dealt with worse. Cutting toxic people or people whos views dont match mine (politically) cut them off too. I need to promise myself to keep growing. Im like a tree. Let my roots grow deep and my branches high. No more ignoring people when they want to make plans with me. I need to open my mouth and say what i feel because if i dont who the fuck is going to for me?? Litteraly no one. I’m the only person that can tell what im thinking and feeling. So i should just be honest and open with those that i trust. I have lots to change and im already working on myself as hard as i can. And im even working out again following people on the internet and finding workout routines you can do at gome to make myself phyically happier with myself and feel more confident. I dont wana die fat and sad. I wana die slightly chubby and happy. Idk this post has dragged on. But i just needed to vent my thoughts because they eat away at me. Plus im scared to talk like this to people close to me just because thats how my anxiety makes me think.

Im gonna start a cult, a cult of happy people. - The Front bottoms

Songs im currently beinge listening to:

The front bottoms - camoflague

The front bottoms - tighten up

The front bottoms - west virgina

The front bottoms - au revoir

The feont bottoms - twin size mattress

Hobo johnson & the love makers - peach scone

The story so far - quicksand

The story so far - placeholder

The story so far - Daughters

The story so far - swords and pens

The story so far - high regard

The story so far - nerve

The story so far - upside down

Lil peep - starshopping

Lil peep - driveway

Lil peep - another song

Lil peep - suck my blood

Lil peep - praying to the sky

Lil peep - pray i die

Lil peep ft lil tracy - i crash, u crash

Lil peep - favorite dress

Mac miller - self care

Mac miller - good news

Mac miller - surf

$uicide boy$ - hard to tell

$uicide boy$ - my flaws burn through my skin like demonic flames from hell

$uicide boy$ - ...and so it was

$uicide boy$ - new chains same shackles

$uicide boy$ - DRUGSHOESMONEYETC

Juice wrld - flaws and sins

Juice wrld - robbery

Juice wrld - lean wit me

Enjoy. And if you made it this far thanks for dealing with my shitty posts and personality.

#personal #diary

[turntechgodheadttgh-blog]

RP STORYYYY WITH MY BSF

Moon Shy-Smarta$$, is actually really sweet and caring but mostly doesn’t show that side of her because she hates to be judged for who she really is, a shortie (me),she has really long hair, one red and than one dark blue eye but she covers the red one with an eye patch like from in tokyo ghoul BC WHY THE HELL NOT MY MAN, dresses in dark clothes all the time which she does get judged from but it doesn’t bother her that much.she is human but anyone could transform her.Her relationship status,well she does have a “boyfriend” but he treats her horribly hense the band-aids and she can’t leave him because of her “family”aka just her and her dad are in debt and since her boyfriend’s family is rich it’s just for the best.oh and she has band-aids all over her.

Nathaniel Stone- Nathan is shy, often seen as a switch. Mostly dominant, he is an emo boi. He is often seen smoking or skipping school. He’s tall and rather skinny. Two bright green eyes and shoulder length black hair. Wears a black hoodie that says HUG ME. Happens to be very emotional. Has pure white wings and a black devil tail that fades into white. Same with his horns. Has a smol black and white kitten named Oreo but is abused by his mother daily.

Moon:*walks the the crowded halls*

Nathan:*sits under a tree by the front of the school, ready to smoke.*

Moon:*texts nathan to see how’s he doin’*Text:”hey Nathan how are you? I swear if you are smoking Imma lightly tap yo head try me son”

Nathan:*reads text* Text:”Ahaha...What if I’m abouta light one?”

Moon:*stares at her phone*Ugh Imma ugh this kid-Text:”Than Imma find you”*starts to look around for him*Text-”Damn it I can’t move, this jackass is blocking me” *kicks the guy in the shin and jumps over him, then running outside catching her breathe*I...HAVE...NEVER…..RAN…. =THIS MUCH…..IN MEH LIFE *stands up straight and checks her phone and decides that she’s going to skip today to avoid her “bf”*

Nathan: Text:”Good luck with that shortie.” He joked with her, climbing the tree so he was hidden by the leaves of it. He then continued smoking.

Moon:*she giggles and basically nobody ever hears her laugh but she text back*”I HAVE FAITH SON!!!!! XD”

Nathan:*Text:”I don’t..” He chuckled a little. He was way taller than her and a year older but it was fun to mess around with the girl. His tail flicked, Similar to a cat’s tail, but he didn’t realize at the moment, his wings and tail may give him away.

Moon:*doesn’t seem to notice because when she text him she actually pays attention to the app*Text-”weelllll I could be your faith 😆 BOOM PROBLEMO SOLVED!!”*her smile disappears as she sees her bf text her and it’s like her heart stops*Text-”ugh the warden text…..God ” *says out loud but to herself* ”I wish sometimes that I wouldn’t be here if I just..” *holds up her hand to look at it*”...disappear,I mean hey nobody would care I’m just the asshole that nobody

likes or cares for” *she lowers her hand and it forms into a fist then she walks behind the tree that Nathan is by sinks to her knees*

Nathan heard her and flicked her in the head with his tail. He then dropped down beside her, putting out his cigarette. Nathan’s family was pretty rich and he always reminded her that, but instead decided that she needed a hug and hugged her tightly.

Moon:*has a face full of tears but still allows him to hug her and which she basically never shows her emotions*thanks…. *sniff*

Nathan shushed her and gently played with her hair to calm her. His wings were wrapped around them as a form of protection as his tail flicked. He was often bullied, especially by Moon’s ‘Boyfriend’.

Moon:”Why does life have to be such a living hell..?”

“No idea dear. You know if we got together my parents would be more than happy to help you guys out..” Nathan reminded as he usually did.

Moon:I wish I could but…… *she puts her hand on her neck where there's a handprint from her boyfriend* I can’t.. Man I could go for a smoothy or somethin’”*she hides the fact she likes him pretty well mostly because if she showed that she did than that would mean he’d most likely get hurt *

Nathan sighed. “I’ll give you money to get some food, A’ight? Cause if anyone sees us together in public that shit would be reported faster than you could snap.”

Moon:heh yeah…*she seems alittle sad*ya know what I’m not that hungry..

“You can get your smoothy if you want. Besides, i gotta deal with the bullies sooner or later hon.” He yawned a little, stretching his wings.

Moon:ok but..promise you won’t cause trouble okay?

Nathan chuckled and pulled out his wallet. “Me? Cause trouble? Are you sure?” He grinned handing her the money as he stood up.

Moon:oh don’t play dumb MISTAH *she takes the wallet and hold onto the tree for support because she had a really bad ache in her stomach from not eating and she pulled herself up* just promise you won’t get hurt?

“I’ll try. Get whatever you want a’ight?” He smiled and walked away, behind the school, meeting with the bullies.

Moon:*she watched as he walked away and she went to get a smoothy and nothing else*

Luke:*smirks*well well well he showed..

Nathan growled a bit, his tail flicking viciously. He hated Luke with a passion and could easily beat him the fuck up, but didn’t for Moon. “Why wouldn’t I asshole? I don’t exactly like pain and shit so I’d like to get this over with..Bitch-boys..” He muttered

*Since I’m lazy they CLEARLY beat him*

Nathan coughed up some blood and weakly got up. He growled and threw a punch at Luke, his green eyes practically glowing.

Luke:*he dodged the hit and they walked away laughing*

Moon:*she walked back and she had a sick feeling so she decided to see if he was still there and when she saw him in this state she had a flashback of her father in that state and she ran over to him*N-nathan?! I swear..*a tear manages to make its way down from her eye patch*

Nathan looked at her, holding his arm. “Moon..I’m sorry..You weren’t supposed to see me in this state..”      

Moon:I’m glad I did *she quickly wipes her tears and pulls out her first aid*let me see it… *she holds out her hand*

Nathan shook his head no. Even one of his wings was injured.

Moon:Nathan now*she said it in a stern voice* It’s just going to get worse if you don't let me help

“It’ll heal by itself. I’m demonic remember?”

Moon:could I at least see it? Please? Demonic or not, I still want to make sure your okay because,...ya know I kinda wanna keep you * she forms a reassuring smile*

“Hnnnn...You can look at the wing..” Nathan replied with a groan. He hated when she did this but didn’t blame her.

Moon:*she gently examines his wing which sends shivers down his spine she than checked the other one and she took out a napkin to wipe the blood*Better? Oh! *she stood on her tippy toes and wiped the blood from his lips and chin ever so gently* there..all Clean I think and hope..And why you gotta be so tall and stubborn *she puts her hands on her hips*And plus are you ok because your cheeks are red…? Is it because I touched you wings?oh it -ohhhh sorry… heh my bad I gguessss..? *she closes her eye that is under her eye patch and lifts her eyepatch and rubs that eye and she makes sure the eyepatch is secure on her eye*um question…...urhhhh so my dad is outta town and since luke is in school and he doesn’t know where i live do you wanna well come over? And watch some tv? And I wanna make sure your healing.. *in head:Why is it so hard to talk to him in person  -___-, like I’ve never been this way to anyone AGGGGGHHHHH FREAKING UGHHHHHHHHH WHHYYYYYYY NANIII!!!* …*waits a couple minutes and he didn’t answer so she put her earbuds in her ear and she went to go walk away*

Nathan tensed up badly. He not only blushed but froze for a moment. He had stayed silent but, before she walked away he grabbed her arm. “I’ll gladly come..just..No more touching my wings..” He said whiney because he was flustered as all hell.

Moon:*takes out an earbud* Okay but no more hurting yourself okay dorkus?*she ruffles his hair* Plus you never said I couldn’t touch your head *she smiles,she liked messing with him especially when he blushed because she took humor into it although she could erase the feeling of his wings...how soft and..silky it was*now come on or are you going to just stand here and hold my arm or what? *she looks from her arm to him and suddenly locks eyes with him and somehow she could see him through her eyepatch*..?... *curiosity fills her head* *she then started to walk away putting back in her earbud and changing the song to “This is home by cavetown” then putting her phone into her front pocket, and she couldn’t shake the image of his eyes out of her head...nor how his wings felt…..then her cheeks turned a pastel pink shade*say quietly to where he can’t hear:why can’t I just tell you…?*she takes a deep breath and continued walking*

HELLLOO KIIIIDDDDIIIEESSSSS so im not sorry for the cliffhanger but BUT credit to my bsf Kileeeeyyyyyyyyyy and yes there might be a part two and one my o.c Is moon and her bio is at the top and two kiley is nathan and his bio is below moon’s AND GIVE US A BIG FAT LIKE PLEASE!!!!

[jdrespling]

Headbangers Con Survival Guide

What’s shakin folks? Anthony here again with another killer review coming to you from the FIRST EVER HEADBANGERS CON. Did you say Con? Yes, that is not a misprint. On the evening of November 9th Chris 51 and his crew of metal heads hit the Bossanova Ballroom with one thing on their minds…..METAL. Not only was it successful, but this guy is still feeling the high of being in a room with so many great musicians and people. Never in my existence did I ever think idbe chatting with some of the industry’s leading musicians and some of the greats as well. People like David Ellefson, Dirk Verbeuren from MEGADEATH! Aaron Patrick from All That Remains, Carla & Heidi of the Butcher Babies, Morgan Rose of Sevendust, Corey Glover from Living Color and of course we can not forget our gracious host Chris 51.

 You know though for my first time having the pleasure to doing an event like this it went amazingly well. So as the night started to wind down we got a performance from the one and ONLY STRYPER! Man, these guys can still kick a beat and hold their own. Tonight, will always be one of the greatest nights of my life. One of my favorite moments about tonight. I look over in the corner because I was looking around for shots and photo ops, and I noticed Dirk Verbeuren with his head down and drawing on something, so I wanted to be nosy and walked over and started talking to this lovely young woman named Elizabeth Engel from a non-profit organization called RYFO. They help struggling musicians. She had asked Dirk to draw her a T-Shirt design for her organization and he didn’t even hesitate and did it on the spot. That totally blew me away, here he is supposed to be partaking on the festivities but decides to help this organization out. I got fucking goose bumps. Don’t believe me see the pics. Dirk again you are a hell of a drummer and human being, thank you. But I also believe that tonight I was apart of METAL HISTORY! When im wheeling my old ass in a wheelchair going to the 25th annual Headbangers con and its my 25th then I will reference this article and I will rest my case! so tonight I say good day and ill have more tomorrow

Sometimes you can’t help but be a bit giddy. Start to ask yourself who are you going to meet today? What am I going to do? First I’m going to sit in and hear some stories from Eddie Ojeda of Twisted Sister. Did you know that when Twisted Sister first got signed not only were they signed to a UK label, but people thought they were from Europe? Wow, I had no idea. Also, Eddie has a line of Twisted Hot Sauces, that are amazing, so I bought three. I walked around and went over to the exhibit hall to check out the merch booths.  Then I went back for the Butcher Babies Heidi and Carla. I bet you didn’t know that one of Heidi’s influences is Slipknot well specifically Corey Taylor and her favorite song is the New National Fucking Anthem SURFACING!!! One of my personal favorites as well. Then Carla is a grief counselor and she is a big fan of the immortal PANTERA! As the day wrapped up from elbowing with Rock Gods, Chris 51 had some special entertainment planned. Hyro The Hero and Soil. To be honest I think Portland is still ringing from that show. As you go to a Con or an event that spans over a couple days you can’t help but wonder what you missed or what you lucked out of. Between panels and signing’s, it can be overwhelming. So, I suggest you find a map or the list of events and plan your weekend. Sunday was here and well I didn’t want it to end, its like that favorite moment that you want to live over and over again. Today I was going to sit in on the Burton C Bell panel well because I like Fear Factory. Jose Mangin our host took the stage. I learned a lot about Burton and Fear Factory. Did you know that their name was taken from a Demo tape they got in Europe? One of their first gigs was in a back yard and Dino kept getting shocked because they weren’t grounded properly. Then we sang Happy Birthday to the one and only David Ellefson. As the day closes and the con is packing up you can’t help but feel saddened and a bit down. So, I got to get a book signed by David Ellefson, and I got a post card signed by Derek Riggs the creator of Iron Maiden’s Eddie. Plus, I don’t know if you all know this, but I am a huge star wars nut and bought a really cool book. I wanted to also see what some of these great artists had to say about headbangers con.

Carla Harvey (Butcher Babies)

EE: Just out of curiosity would you do another Headbangers Con

Carla: Oh of course its been a blast it’s very impressive for the first year for the first Head Bangers Con. I think these kind of things should be a staple everywhere around the country don’t you?

EE: I totally agree

EE: Now, would you change anything?

Carla: Would I change anything, I think this is a great example of what a Head Bangers con should be. There’s nothing that I would change, really nothing. There are so many great people here, the fans have all been awesome and the vendors as well. Maybe have them all in one room so we don’t have to walk around as much.

EE: Was it overwhelming to be in the room with so many of the greats like Burton C Bell, David Ellefson?

Carla: WE have been lucky enough to be in the business for over a decade now and a lot of these people we idolized in our youth have become friends over the years, this is more like a family reunion than anything.

EE: Now I have one important question for you sir, would you attend another Head Bangers Con?  (Ron Keel)

RK: I would do it in a heartbeat this has been a fantastic event I’m really glad to be apart of it, and um we have made some new friends seen some old friends and just keep this thing going if Chris Fitty One wants me back for Con number 2 ill be there!

EE: Are you having a good time?

RK: I am absolutely having a blast loving the Rock Star treatment. And a great event for the fans and artists as well!

Nathan Hunt (Shamans Harvest)

EE: how are you doing this morning?

NH: Well I need a lot of coffee especially after last night….

EE: I bet its been a wild weekend.

EE: So the major question is would you do another Head Bangers Con?

NH: Fuck yeah!

EE: Tell me a little bit about your experience this weekend?

NH: Anytime your around like-minded people you know that passion for music it’s always going to be a good weekend.

EE: does it feel like a family reunion?

NH: yes its definitely got that family reunion vibe we all got fucked up Friday, and I chilled yesterday and ordered pizza.

EE: Are you having a good time?

NH: Most definitely I am, learning a lot of shit, with Jose on the stage grinding away.

Davey Grahs (POP EVIL)

EE: The million dollar question is, would you be apart of another Head Bangers Con?

DG: OH Hell yeah, hell yeah this has been great!

EE: What is your thoughts on the concept of having a con for metal heads like us?

DG: I love it I don’t know why we haven’t had anything like this before or sooner

EE: What’s next for Pop Evil

DG: well we have a Canadian tour kicking off next week, then a US run and end it in Europe.

Dirk Verbeuren (MEGADEATH)

EE: Curious, would you be apart of another Head Bangers Con?

DV: absolutely I would this has been a total blast, and ah I think it will only get better since this is the first edition after all.

EE: Where do you think the next location will be?

DV: I am rooting for Los Angeles because it is closer to my house and I like sleeping in my own bed. Lol no I think L.A would be a be a better place because there are a lot of conventions there and its very busy there is a lot of people in the metal scene that would definitely dig things like this so.

Jose Mangin (Sirius Xm Radio)

EE: So Would you be involved with another Head Bangers Con?

JM: Oh My God of course that is a no brainer, I would never miss something that’s as cool as a gathering of us metal fans and  to able to help be a leader for it, a voice for it, it’s an honor to be here. If I saw one dude wearing a metal shirt that’s all I need, but I see a ton of people with big hearts for metal ill never miss this again.

EE: You have done panels for the last two days, right at this moment what is your favorite so far?

JM: I mean dude, Megadeath is one of my all time favorite bands and just always talking to someone of his stature (David Ellefson) it freaks me out because I have been such a long time fan.

EE: Do you still get the giggles when you do interviews?

JM: Always , Always I never take this job, this position this life I have for granted it’s a huge responsibility. But First and foremost I am a FAN.

EE: One last question What would you tell Chris 51 right now?

JM: Dude, I would say thank you for getting all of us head bangers together. Thank you and lets do it again!

Corey Glover (Living Color)

EE: Would you do another Con like this?

CG: Absolutely in a heartbeat I would do it tomorrow, yeah this is fun this is great.

EE: Do you think this is going to open bigger doors and open people’s eyes?

CG: I do I think that as a band, to connect to your audience and the people who appreciate what you do is hard to do at a show, if your really working you only have about a half an hour to meet and greet your fans but its only hi and that’s it. This I get you talk to people all day and that we don’t get to do on a daily basis. Plus the fans can ask specific questions that you don’t get the opportunity to ask at a meet and greet. It like what kind of pick are you using why did you do this instead of that. That is when I feel more connected to my fans.

Burton C Bell (Fear Factory)

EE: Would you do another metal Con and Why

BB: Yes and because its FUCKING FUN AS HELL!

EE: is there anything that really stood out for you this weekend?

BB: Umm just the Family vibe

EE: I have been hearing that a lot from people

BB: and that’s what this is it’s a celebration of the genre intrinsically even if you are a musician or not.

Then I got to see the new Fear Factory album cover…. He hehe…..

This last weekend was not only the time of my life but I have to say very eye-opening. From all the Vendors like The Star Wars Store, Rogue Toys, Period Panties, Terasyne Amps, ROCKSTAR clothing, Morbid Empire, Metal Yoga, Paradise Harley Davidson, Rose City Vapors, and all the tattoo artists. I can’t forget to mention Toxic Zombie, Cryptamnesia, M.I.R.P,  YesterdazeNews Bob Williams Photography you my friend my hats off. You all made me feel very welcome into the fold and I can not wait to shoot side by side and work with you all again. Plus Jose Mangin from Sirius Xm Radio. Brother never lose that passion, I love listening to you on the radio and enjoyed watching you on stage during the panels.

This weekend couldn’t have been possible if it wasn’t for the great works by Chris 51 and Morgan Rose. You two started a domino effect that will hopefully last for generations. You gave the metal fans a place where we can be as one and feel like we are family.

Chris and Morgan, I personally can not thank you enough for showing this world what metal is and is always going to be. I am anxiously waiting for the news of the next one.

So guys that’s all I am going to say, if you missed out on all the wonderful panels, and your favorite artists. I am truly sorry you missed a HEAD BANGING WEEKEND!!

Thanks again for reading and enjoying what I had to say

  Remember Keep it real and keep it METAL!

I’ll catch you on the flipside!

HeadBangers Con Portland 2018 Review Headbangers Con Survival Guide What’s shakin folks? Anthony here again with another killer review coming to you from the FIRST EVER HEADBANGERS CON.